#tbh it makes me less likely to seek it out

[hoipeepsimruby]

Genshin things that I will ignore in canon:

Diluc and Kaeya exchanging letters to each other during his 3-4 year revenge quest

Kid Kaeya was a perfect angel who never did anything wrong

Adult Kaeya is a perfect angel who never did anything wrong

(Let the man be morally dubious that’s when he’s most interesting. Plus his recent characterization is inconsistent with his earlier one and his bio lore)

Yae Miko tormenting every single Inazuma guy character (her silly rivalry with Itto can stay it’s funny)

60% of the Venti alcohol jokes (they aren’t funny most of the time. The only time it’s funny is times like when Beidou wouldn’t let Venti and Kazuha drink despite them both being of legal drinking age)

Paimon being the travelers voice (I’m in the minority where I like Paimon as I feel she’s the travelers annoying little sister and with that in mind she’s written rather well but I do agree with everyone who’s annoyed with how she speaks for the traveler. While I’ve never published any fanfics in a lot of my ideas Paimon ends up getting a bit shafted due to me not really knowing what to do with her because outside of being the travelers voice she doesn’t do all that much.)

Most of the Inazuma main story (if I want to I can be willfully ignorant and enjoy the story but after reading gold-rhine’s Inazuma re-write I can never go back)

The traveler being a jerk to Furina at the beginning of her story quest. (In character for Paimon but the traveler I think would at least be a little more understanding and would try to get Paimon to stop guilt tripping her)

Finally, the traveler fails to get Charlotte any scoops from the fortress of meropide. (I know why but they did waste a bunch of her money and that feels mean)

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[untoterxhund]

either gonna remake again in the future and hand out the url privately or gonna clean out the followers list again me'thinks. so if you wanna stay mutuals and plan on writing w/ me in the future when I can actually dedicate time to doing so w/out any stressors or anxiety spikes then please, slap that heart real quick for me.

if not, it was a pleasure to write and talk for a bit and wish y'all good luck on your future endeavors 'n stuff.

[doctorwhoisadhd]

see on one hand i COULD totally make trock but the only thing is. im worried about like. would anybody actually listen to it. like thats the difference w/ blaseball, the fan music scene was so excellent and popular that like i knew that if i made stuff and shared it people WOULD 100% listen and have nice things to say. and in general making and sharing ur music does NOT feel that way outside of communities that are really FOR that... and like its one thing to write my own songs for me bc thats not so much a choice as it is a requirement for my mental health in a very human "desire to create art" way. so in this regard its entirely another thing to write fan music... thats me contributing to a space, as opposed to my own "for me" songs that are just my way of processing my own emotions.

[brltpop]

.

[hannieehaee]

Hello! So if it’s okay to send a request, I do have something in mind! Okay so I love how most of your hao fics are of him as a hopeless romantic! (Tbh I really think that just how everyone sees him regarding love) anyways, one of your fics was of him and virgin reader, so what if you made a fic of both of them being a virgin or you reverse the roles and he’s the virgin? Hopefully still with the hopelessly romantic trope?

It’s perfectly okay if not! Have a good day!

18+ / mdi

content: virgin!hao x virgin!reader, loss of virginity, smut, afab reader, dry humping, clit stimulation, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 1547

a/n: i hope u like ur req<3

masterlist

"you have no idea how long i've been waiting for this," he murmured into your neck, hands shy in their caressing of your every dip and curve.

"hao, please," you breathe back, your hands equally need for a feel of his nude body.

"shh, i wanna take my time, okay?", he stared up into your eyes to say this, his own growing heavy after just a few moments and falling to your lips. his eyebrows furrowed as a pained look took over his face, clearly attempting to hold himself back from letting his desires take over, "wanna make our first time last."

"but-"

"shh", he hushed you again, lips pressing up against yours lightly, "i know you want me, angel. i want you just as bad," he breathed into your lips, "i want you to remember every touch of my lips on your skin. been waiting for my perfect girl all these years."

his words alone made you melt, and his proximity did not help maters in any way, making your eyes flutter as your lips shyly attempted to chase his own as he spoke into them. his constant references to the loss of both your virginities to one another had your breath leaving you at an astonishing speed. losing your virginity to minghao while also taking his own was something you had not been able to truly process even to this moment. feeling the most intimate of touch with the love of your life all while robbing him of his own innocence made you shudder, gulping at the body heat you felt against you.

the preamble had been nothing less than a dream. minghao kissed up and down your body, loving on every inch of skin as he slowly unclothed you. he took charge of the situation despite his own lack of experience. being a natural at it, he carried a sensual aura to himself, making you feel like the prettiest and most wanted girl to step foot on earth. his hands and lips were unable to disconnect from your body for even one second as he undressed you both.

he worshiped your body for what felt like hours on end, praising every dip and curve and groaning any time you so much as sighed in contentment. without an ounce of shyness, he expressed his lust for you from the first kiss.

after an extended session of foreplay that left you as a shell of your former self, deflated and willing to follow minghao's every whim, you were finally entering the first stages of love making. the acceleration of your heart could likely be heard from miles away, making you worried that minghao might be able to sense your nerves.

despite the nerves invading your mind, the anticipation overtook any anxiety. the need to feel your boyfriend was making you lightheaded. there was nothing that could occupy your brain in this moment other than your boyfriend finally making love to you.

likely sensing your internal monologue, minghao's hands wrapped around your hips, pulling you into position to begin a slow grind of his hips into your cunt. you hiccuped a gasp, which was soon swallowed by his lips as he finally closed the gap between you.

grunts and whines could be heard along with the rustling of the sheets as minghao ground into you, occasionally murmuring sweet praise into your lips.

"'m gonna play with your pussy now, okay, angel? need to get you ready for me," he let you know before dipping a hand between you, seeking you out for a few moments before his thumb finally landed on your clit.

"h-hao, fuck-"

"is that good, pretty? need you to tell me when it feels good, yeah?"

you nodded mindlessly, attempting to whine out an answer, "h-how are you so good at this? fuck."

he chuckled lightly, pecking your lips once before dipping his head to kiss up and down your neck, "wanted to be ready for you, angel. can't disappoint you if i'm going to be the only man to ever feel you like this."

the promise to be your first and last was a recurrent conversation between the two of you. he was never direct about it, but always made you aware of his plan to keep you to himself for life. it was a well known fact to you that minghao had saved himself for the woman he believed he'd find a permanent home in. this knowledge only made tonight the more intimate.

"w-what i- i disappoint you, hao?" you hiccuped between heavy breaths at the pressure on your clit.

he tsk'd disapprovingly, landing a soft bite on your neck as some sort of punishment, "my gorgeous girl could never disappoint me. so perfect for me and i havent even had her," he reassured.

he ground into you as his thumb circled your clit long enough for your hands to begin digging into his back, silently begging for more while pathetic sounds continued to leave your lips. his bare cock dragging against your lips made you desperate to have him finally infiltrate your walls. you were aware the penetration was meant to hurt a bit, but you knew minghao would make the experience as pleasurable as possible.

"are you ready for me, pretty? hmm? want me to fuck you now?", he murmured into your ear, breathless at his own stimulation from the dry humping, "so wet for me, fuck. pretty clit so puffy and needy. can i fuck you now, angel?"

looking up at him with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, he groaned at the sight, reiterating his prior questions again as he practically pleaded to finally feel you wrapped around him.

"please ..." you pleaded, pulling him against you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, needily pressing him further towards you.

nodding to himself, he readjusted, grabbing onto his cock and beginning to drag the tip through your folds, causing you both to shudder with a gasp. the pained look would not leave his eyes. it was clear to you that he'd been holding back his desires this entire time in order to get you stimulated enough for a painless intrusion. his silent consideration was more than enough for you to cherish your decision of saving yourself for him.

with a silent groan, he entered you, whimpering at your tightness. this was the first time you ever heard such a sound come from him, something which made you sickly proud of yourself. his breath was ragged and heavy against your neck, murmuring filthy praise about your pussy.

"it's so good, oh, fuck- so fucking good.

"so tight and pretty for me ..."

"can't believe it's all mine ... it's all for me, isn't it, pretty? fuck, my pretty pussy, all for me to fuck ..."

"never felt so good ... c-can't think when you're so wet and so fucking warm around me, oh, fuck."

"fucking ruined me ..."

he babbled endless praise as he lost his composure against you. you had no chance to survive him when he loved you so good, never shy to express it. no pain was felt as he fucked you, only unimaginable pleasure accompanied by lightheadedness from the effect you clearly had on him. you just laid there and whined out his name as he took care of himself with your cunt.

"h-hao ... fuck, so big- so fucking good," you sighed as your eyes rolled back. the mere mention of his name made him redouble his groans of appreciation, composure nowhere to be found.

"tell me how good it is ... tell me you feel just as good as i do ... please."

"feels so good, hao. keep going, please ... wanna- wanna cum, fuck, please," you rambled on, knowing he'd eat up your every word as his hips continued to gradually lose their finesse.

"i'll make you cum, gorgeous. but with me, yeah? need you to cum with me. fuck, i'll make you feel so good, promise," he grunted against your ear, kissing his way to your lips and beginning rocking into you even harder.

nodding in confirmation, you silently confirmed your incoming orgasm. his hands went up to hold your own over your head, noses pressed up together as he occasionally connected your lips in a passionate series of kisses.

"'m cumming, angel. i'm- i'm cumming. cum with me, yeah. love you so- so fucking much. need you to- fuck, please ..." he gasped out his nonsensical pleas for your orgasm, not realizing his current state made you tip over the edge and join him with your own orgasm.

even more expletives came from his lips when you began crying out his name, squeezing his hands with your own and arching your back, causing your chest to press up against his own. you rode your orgasms together, filling up the room with nasty sounds of gratification as he released inside you all the way up until losing all your energy and falling against each other.

he nuzzled into your neck, wrapping himself around you, though not pulling out of you. readjusting you to comfortably lay with one another, he loved on you once more, but more lazily this time around.

"thank you for being my first. i love you," he smiled, offering you a loving gaze.

"love you, hao," you smiled back.

[romaritimeharbor]

a platonic writer? thats so awesome!!! for the open kny slots, would it be okay to ask for a reader & giyuu found family troupe? would be nice if reader was in their teens♪ mainly about the dynamic and perhaps post final battle

ELUSIVE CARE. — In which the Water Hashira unwittingly attains a younger sibling.

— trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

— pairings & notes. fluff, found family. tomioka giyuu & teen!reader. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns used). 1.1k words.

— author's thoughts. giyuu's so silly. such a guy. very older brother coded tbh <3

✧ FIRST MEETING

giyuu, though a quiet and reserved soul that often believes himself to be inadequate, is certainly not a heartless man nor is he one who cares too little (perhaps it could even be argued that he cares too much). he wouldn't ever let someone die if there was something he could do to prevent it, and maybe it is killing a demon that first leads him to the little teenager that he will one day grow fond of, [name].

his first instinct is, of course, to reunite them with their family if they have any living relatives. if that is not an option, his next instinct is to send them off somewhere he knows they'll be safe—maybe urokodaki needs someone to stay with him, a companion. he's always been a good caretaker even when not training a demon slayer to-be, and surely he gets lonely in his older age..? or maybe those girls at the butterfly estate would take them—shinobu's... nice enough. to young kids, that is. not him, of course, but he doesn't dare deny her kindness towards younger ones. she would probably be more than happy to take them in, or she would be pissed that he would have the audacity to ask something like that of her... but he still believes that she would do it.

ultimately, wherever he does leave them, it's almost guaranteed that he'll encounter them again. teenagers are rarely known for being obedient; as such, he would probably find them actively seeking him out at his estate. to thank him, to simply visit and stay for a while, to bring him gifts... they aren't annoying per se, but giyuu does wonder for how long he will have to endure it before their visits lessen in number.

he did save their life, so maybe he should just accept it.

and perhaps, once the final battle has passed and the greatest threat to the world has been eliminated, he will not be so opposed to having a regular guest. maybe he'll even ask them to stay.

✧ GENERAL DYNAMIC

giyuu is not known for being open and friendly. that said, i do think he would have some kind of a soft spot for a young kid who has suffered the effects of demons roaming the earth.

maybe he sees a little of himself in them. he wasn't always this way, you know? there was a time where he was softer, more open, and had a more positive outlook about the world. so maybe, just maybe, he sees some of that in the little teenager he saved from death.

his kindness shows in weird and hard to understand ways, and he would rarely make it obvious that he was checking up on them; he probably wouldn't visit often. that said, if [name] were to ask around, maybe they would hear about a recent influx of letters from a certain water hashira concerning a certain victim he recently saved.

as he grows closer to them, he would begin to buy them little trinkets. if he sees something he thinks they would like, he would totally pick it up for them and leave it by their room's door at wherever they're staying. he never signs the gifts, but it is nonetheless very clear who is buying them.

he also does what he can to ensure that they're well-cared for—contributing to the cost of caring for them, mainly.

giyuu, to me, seems like a very attentive person. he's a type i would describe as having a quiet love language—someone who does things subtly (more or less). so, while he does not verbally connect with them often, he can offer a listening ear and will always pick up on the small things.

headpats. giyuu is a headpat man. it's a fond gesture that he uses to communicate a number of things—'i'm proud of you,' 'good job,' 'you're alright now,' 'i'm here for you.' it's one way he communicates nonverbally. he's not great at expressing his care with words, but there are plenty of ways such as this one that are more than sufficient without the use of any words at all.

given that his haori is made up of two halves, each from someone he deeply cared for, i think it's safe to say that he has a certain sentimentality about him. any gifts they give to him will be treasured (and if they happen to give him something he can wear without getting in the way of his job, he'll find a way to incorporate it into his uniform).

he's quite fiercely protective of them. if someone is bothering them, giyuu is more than happy to simply stand behind them and give the one annoying them a simple stare, which is more than enough to solve the issue permanently. as a hashira, the lower ranked corps members are already rather scared of him, so he doesn't really have to do much at all to deter anyone from harassing them...

on a similar note, he will put extra care and attention into killing off any demons lingering around the area that they reside in. he's failed so many people before and is not keen on doing so again.

he would very much prefer if they didn't become a demon slayer, especially after his relationship with them has developed a little more. any attempts to ask him about joining would be cut off with a short, firm 'no.' though, with enough insistence... that answer could change.

ultimately, what they do is up to them, but giyuu would prefer that they stay as far out of harm's way as possible. not every victim is meant to, nor do they have to, become a demon slayer—he hopes they know and understand that above all else.

✧ POST-FINAL BATTLE

following the end of the final battle, giyuu would be a little more open with them in quite a few ways.

for one, he's more expressive, offering them something other than his usual stoicism every now and then—a smile. his expression in general softens significantly in their presence once everything is over.

he also grows a little more comfortable expressing himself verbally with them. he's still not exactly... articulate when it comes to expressing his care with words, but it's the thought and effort that counts.

he would also move them into his home at that point!! since he doesn't have to be away constantly now, he feels more comfortable having them stay with him. before, if a demon had showed up to his secluded estate while he was gone, it may have very well ended poorly, had they been staying there. given that this is no longer a concern (and he's also home far more often now), he doesn't mind the company whatsoever.

post-final battle, he would also spend more time around them. it would be then that they would really get to know him. his hobbies, his interests, maybe his past. eventually.

things take time. opening up takes time... and once muzan has been defeated, there is plenty of time for them to get closer with their elusive older brother-like figure.

please consider supporting me if you enjoyed! the best ways to do so are as follows: comments, asks, reblogs, and reblogs with tags.

[beybuniki]

This is gonna be a rambly ask, so I hope it makes sense (and I also hope it's not too weird or offputting >///<)

I'm a relatively newer follower, so I don't know exactly what your interpretation of Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship is, but I've been getting the impression of "two guys who are obsessed with each other who are also trying to be friends despite their complicated past."* And I've literally experienced that type of dynamic myself, so I find it kinda validating, in a way.

I find it difficult to identify whether these feelings of mine are platonic or romantic. They feel like some sort of messy in-between, or maybe a hybrid: more intense than regular friendship (perhaps even more intense than what one would consider a "best friend"), but not quite romantic. (But also not something I'd call "less than" romantic, as that implies some sort of Relationship Hierarchy where romance is at the top and everything else is beneath it, which doesn't sit right with me?)

Ship content seems to be the easiest way to find fanworks that feature two characters together and the dynamic between them, so that's what I usually end up seeking, even if the romance isn't necessarily why I'm seeking it out. And I wouldn't say I dislike ship content altogether, because there are many talented creators and fun ideas behind it, and I've certainly been entertained by them. I guess I just find it more difficult to relate to, and the commonness of it can sometimes make me feel like it's what I should be striving for with my own aforementioned relationship.

This is why I love finding people like you who write or draw about non-romantic dynamics without undermining the importance of the relationship. It helps me feel less like an outcast for the way I view my own real-life relationships. So I suppose this is just a very long-winded way of me trying to say, "thanks for helping someone feel a little less weird in this big world."

(*If that's not how you intended to portray them then oopsieeeees my bad. I might have just been projecting LOL)

<3

yeah i read their dynamic as platonic i.e., i just take what we get in the manga at face value. much to be criticized about bnha, but i LOVE horikoshi's depiction of bkdk's dynamic and don't really feel the need to twist and bend it or to expand it to a romantic one. they're 16-17 and have a lot to work through and i have so much fun trying explore that like how do you get close to someone again despite all the crazy ups and downs, how do you find a good balance between these different poles of intensity, how do you forgive a friend, how can you show a friend that they mean a lot to you etc. all things that horikoshi actually tackles in the manga, i just like to add my own off-screen moments i guess lmao

so while i don't oppose romantic readings, i just enjoy exploring the uhhh instability and intensity of adolescent friendships much more i guess. and their age plays a huge role to me too tbh, like i can def see deku having a weird little crush on bakugo (so much to unpack), but i just don't see bakugo be interested in romance with anyone at all and like to keep it that way so yeah, I love them as weird friends lmaoo

[sehodreams]

oh my god. i hope i’m not bothering u with all this sungchan/riize nonsense it’s just soooo good, this part u did is sooooo good i am dizzy and reeling at eunseok touching your tummy like i can’t even put it into words it’s just soooo😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i really need chubby chasers tall line. this sungchan is so good, i love sungchan being mean<3333 but sungchan, eunseok, and anton being chubby chasers and obsessed with you!!???? please please please.

i love the idea of just being a personal toy for like, all of riize tbh but esp the big boys omg, please i swear i can’t even fathom it but i’ll write a bit about where my head’s at. also omg eunseok holding your tits and saying they’re heavy PLSSS😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i want that so fucking bad.

in this, maybe it’s like reader x her 3 fwbs just so there’s like less possessiveness although i would still think sungchan would be the greediest out of the 3, always seeking you out to pleasure you (and have you pleasure him) because he seems like he’d have a high libido and fuck, he’d be so obsessed with your breasts and your tummy, he’d want to be all over you at all times. the 3 of them would all take care of you so well<333 i’d imagine you’d all live together but like anton would always buy you sweets and snacks, he’d make sure the apartment always had ur favourite treats and if you had a special request for something you could let him know and he’d get it for you immediately, maybe sometimes they’d try to cook for you, but i can’t really see any of them (maybe eunseok) being good at cooking idk if that’s true, but they’d always be down to order takeout!! anton is definitely a titty sucker (so is sungchan) and i feel like if the two of you were just watching a movie or smth or even if eunseok and sungchan were there as well, anton would want to have you in his lap or laying down so he could play with your breasts and suck on your nipples, he’d be able to just do it for hours it feels like, massaging your mounds and sucking and biting, he’d get so worked up, he’d probably need to eat you out, would get so pussydrunk, grabbing and squeezing at your tummy while he fucks your cunt with his tongue, you’d both especially love to do this in front of the other boys, you’d be really embarrassed the first few times but eventually they’d turn you into such a filthy slut you’d love the exhibitionism<333

sungchan would love to eat you out too, honestly all 3 of them would be happiest with their face between your legs and your soft, squishy thighs pressed tightly around their head, but other scenarios would be like if you were making dinner for them, he’d interrupt to bend you over the counter and fuck you ruthlessly from behind, just like you’d described before, pulling your breasts out of your top and spanking you as hard as he can and mocking you a little when you scream and yelp</3333 he’d definitely like to slap your tits too, the smacking sound being just as loud as if he’s slapping your ass or your thighs, he’d always love to slap your pussy<3333 or slap your clit, he’d be so brutal with his fingers for sure, loves shoving them down your throat and you love gagging on them<333 maybe if you complain you’re hungry or smth, he’d pull a “i’ve got something for you to put in your mouth” lmao, and would fuck your face for a bit until he shoots his loud down your throat or would release all over your face and tits and make you lick it up :)))) also would want to try like putting a donut on his dick or whip cream on him or something to make you eat it off him, because you’d be so cute to him with icing and sugar on your nose and lips, especially when you’re breathless and clenching your thighs together, begging him to touch you…

idk if this is too crazy.. but i’m also just thinking dumbification/bimbofication with tall line and them brainwashing you into aligning food with pleasure… as chubby chasers, they’d definitely want to keep you soft and plush, so hear me out.. i want sungchan feeding me like little pastries or treats or smth, his long fingers would be so good smearing cream on your face and pinching your cheek like “that’s my good girl, you’re so pretty aren’t you?” he’d cup your lower tummy and then your pussy, chuckling at how your hips buck into his palm instinctively and you clench your thighs together, “does it taste good?” you’d be so flustered, but you’d nod and whimper, “please channie” and he’d be like “you want more? so greedy,” and feed you another treat before you can respond, whines muffled while your mouth is full 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 but it’d backfire on all of them because then anytime you had something sweet and got icing on your face or smth, they’d pop a boner and need to bend you over and fuck you immediately.

okay i feel like i went too crazy, idek what to say for eunseok because i hope i don’t scare you.. i went a little bit too feral i think but like.. idk.

Honey, we should be friends.

I'm DYING FOR THIS CONCEPT OMG I LOVE IT, SO NASTY.

The feeding is also something I've thought about but I was afraid I would scare people here (more than what I already do 😂), so I can see the picture, and the roommate!tall line is PERFECT. This is really cliche but what the hell 😵‍💫

WC: 1.9

Imagine you come from a family full of brothers. You hated the fact that you had to be their little maid and listen to your mom whenever she told you to go and serve them. This pushed you to leave as soon as you could, running to the first place that seemed decent enough to live at, not caring that you'd have to live with a bunch of men again.

You were reluctant at first, afraid of being treated like a servant again, but oh god, could you be any more wrong?

Unexpectedly, you had to do nothing at all in the house. They were already good on their own, cleaning their own messes and making sure the shared places were in order, which resulted in you having nothing to do. But don't get fooled, they still wanted something in exchange.

The minute you stepped into that house, you realized that something was about to happen.

At first, they appeared just kind. They smiled at you, telling you to not worry if you offered to do something like taking out the trash or helping with the recycling. Then, they asked you to eat with them whenever they could. Anton enjoyed snacks, but he hated eating them alone, so he asked you to eat with him while watching TV or listening to music, sometimes without anything in the background, just you two eating and sometimes talking to fill the silence. Sungchan, on the other hand, had more of a sweet tooth, buying pastries but begging you to eat with him because ''it was too much for him''. Eunseok, different to the other two, didn't like that kind of food, he enjoyed more elaborate dishes, but more than eating them, he liked making them, and when he finished, he needed all of you to help him.

However, you then noticed that you were supposed to eat with them, but somehow most of the time you were the only one eating while they observed you.

You couldn't understand it, what was so good of watching you eat for them to be like that? They were too eager to be close to you when you ate for it to be a simple coincidence.

When they completely stopped pretending to eat, you knew your mind was not playing with you, but you needed more proof, so you said something they never expected.

''Sorry, I'm on a diet'' you said when Eunseok called for you to try his new recipe.

The world fell in their eyes. Anton got pale, Sungchan gulped before his mouth fell, and Eunseok almost dropped the plate he had in his hands.

That was the first time a man begged you to do something for him. Your family usually ordered you to do things for them, but those three didn't let you go with their pleads until you accepted, and you had no doubt that, if you had told them to, they'd have fallen to their knees for you.

You had a hard time accepting what was going on. You had never seen someone so eager to serve you. You knew they did it with hidden intentions, that was clear, but it was still something you had never seen before.

Of course, it was natural that you needed some time to get used to it. It was the first time a man cooked for you, the first time a man begged you to tell him if you needed anything, and even more, the first time a man practically kneeled to have a taste of you.

And now, there were three of them.

Sungchan was the first one to do it. He was always ready to buy you sweets, going to the nearest pastry shop after finishing his workout session, not caring if he was still all sweaty and tired, he couldn't feel calm unless he saw you eating in front of him, ready to clean any cream that stayed in your lips with his thumb to then lick it.

Eunseok was even more touchy. Cooking for you even when the others were there, he did everything, his favourites being salads and pasta, he liked food easy to collect and give you. On every occasion you were alone, he sat beside you and grabbed the cutlery while one of his hands was on your thigh, making sure you ate all of it before he caressed your cheek and praised you with a well done.

Anton was the boldest one though. He made you sit on his lap while showing you some kind of movie on his computer with really low volume, forcing you to have the bag of chips in your hands and eat it slowly for him to hear each bite.

While more satiated you got, they got more hungry.

Sungchan, again, was the first to push you and take you. He was fresh from his shower, and he had already given you a really good tiramisu half an hour ago, so when he entered your room, you didn't know what else could he want.

The answer was easy. He wanted you.

Pushing you to your back, he didn’t say anything while taking off your pyjama pants and underwear, and moving apart your legs, he kissed your thighs before his mouth reached your pussy.

Being eaten out for the first time, you had to bite your lips to not cry his name and let the other boys know what he was doing to you in the privacy of your room.

He was a bit brute, tongue going up and down, recollecting every juice you poured to gulp it like a thirsty man.

''Sung-Sungchan?'' You moaned. He was so desperate you doubted he was breathing, just like when he was lifting his dumbbells in the living room and was clearly tired from the exercise. However, there he didn't look like he wanted to stop at all.

''It's sweet, so fucking sweet'' he closed his eyes, burying his tongue in your entrance, making you squirm because of the new sensations.

He didn't let you move apart.

With his strong arms, he kept you in your place, fingers burying on your pudgy tummy from all the sweet treats he had gifted you, and he maintained you there until you came in his mouth, giving him the only sweet release he allowed himself to have.

Eunseok was more delicate. He had prepared a creamy dish, reddish sauce flooding the ravioli, something you had asked him for since it was getting colder those days.

You were wearing a hoodie, gladly letting him feed you piece by piece, both hands inside your pockets to keep them warm. He, making sure it wouldn't burn you, blew them a couple of times before giving them to you.

It was all tranquil until one of them was hotter than the others and burned you. The surprise made you flinch and his hand went under your chin to make sure to catch it if you decided to spit it, but you weren't a kid, and holding it in, you gulped it to stop the pain.

''I'm so sorry'' he looked worried, leaving everything aside to make sure you were okay. ''Please let me see your mouth.''

You listened to what he said and opened it, slightly pushing out your tongue so he could see you were okay.

When you did it, he stared at it for a couple of seconds before he gulped. That wasn't normal, you immediately sensed it and closed your lips.

Unnecessary. He continued caressing your chin and then, without question, made you open your mouth with his thumb pushing your lips apart. You let him, it was weird, but your arousal was appearing, and the room was hotter.

Minutes later he had you over the table, pushing your legs apart to push his ring and middle finger of one hand while the same fingers of his other were inside your mouth, not letting you talk or moan without sounding like babbling.

He was fucking your insides at a soft pace, as if he was investigating your insides to understand you as much as his recipes. He could thrust his fingers to then just leave them there, to feel your walls accepting him. After that, he would open them in a scissoring motion, pressing all your insides to find what he wanted.

When you left a particular louder cry, he knew he had found it, and made sure to press it until your legs trembled and you continuously clenched around his digits.

''Well done'' he said, like every time you finished eating his food. He took off his fingers and saw the line of spit connecting you to him, like your slick when he left your pussy alone, and he kissed you, tongue intruding your mouth and not letting you go until he felt it was enough.

Anton was fresher. Like the bubbling soda with popcorn on the side, he was simpler but that didn’t mean he was less good.

You were on his lap, illuminated by the limp light of his screen projecting some mukbang video, enjoying the peaceful moment he gave you. He had always been different from the other two. The other two were more visual creatures, while he preferred listening to you.

Anton had started to mute all videos not long ago, obliging you to rely on the subtitles to understand what the people said, and when the man said something funny, you laughed. You had laughed so much that, added to the salty snack, you got thirsty. So, sipping from the pretty glass with a straw he had bought you, full of ice and soda, the ice tinkled when you shook it to dilute the water with the drink.

You felt him getting harder under you, but you didn’t mind, it wouldn’t be the first time. What was new, was the way his hands slipped inside your hoodie to grip your chest.

At the start, it was pretty superficial. They just posed there, feeling how your skin was softer than normal in that place.

‘’Keep drinking’’ he said, and you listened.

You continued sipping and he kept playing with your tits, pinching your nipples and groping them however he wanted. It felt good, and you were getting wet, but it wasn’t anything intense like with Sungchan or Eunseok, it felt somehow safer.

His hard-on was rubbing more and more with your ass, and you accommodated yourself to reach for the bowl of popcorn and get a handful of them.

He moaned when you did it, being harder with your chest, a bit painful but not enough to hurt you.

You let him rut into you, both fully clothed. Needing more, you stood from your seat when you didn’t have anything else to drink.

‘’It’s empty’’ you told him while shaking your glass full of ice.

‘’I’ll get you more’’ he answered.

‘’Aren’t you thirsty too?’’

His mind was too hazy to answer, so he simply denied shaking his head.

‘’Are you sure?’’ you asked again, lifting your hoodie until your naked chest was in front of his face.

You couldn’t stop him when he practically slammed you to his bed and buried his face on your chest, grinding with force into your clothed sex and pushing moans out of you whenever his tongue circled your nipple.

Both of you getting closer even without directly touching each other’s parts, he groaned when you pulled his hair, and then he came when you brokenly cried his name.

Not long after, you stopped paying rent and necessities altogether. If you wanted something, you would get it as soon as possible. However, with all of them keeping you busy and burying you with gifts and attention, it was hard to want anything else.

Drink it. Eat it. Don’t spit it.

Those words became normal in your daily life.

[aayakashii]

I'm going through the Sinostra chapter right now and I can't stop making theories omg there might be spoilers below so be careful, although I'm just enumerating my questions tbh lol

According to one of Taiga's home screen dialogs, there might be some sort of time loop happening which he's KINDA aware of? Or maybe just aware when triggered somehow.

He said "long time no see! You decide to ditch this future too? Sorry I'm not dead yet" which is INCREDIBLY ooc as to how he behaves during the story which leads me to

His extreme memory loss, which apparently lasts less than 24 hours. Why is that? Did he go through so many time loops that it started affecting his memory? There was one small moment in which he remembered Ritsu because he saw the MC face though...

The Clash. What the fuck was it

What's Taiga relationship to Haru? Haru sounds eerily nonchalant regarding Taiga even though the man keeps on threatening Peekaboo. And aftewards, Rui briefly mentions that Taiga has a "destroying what others hold dear" schtick, which leads me to believe that Taiga is seeking revenge for losing something important maybe???? Is the fanfic brainrot too big rn

WHY DOES HE HATE LIKE DOVES??????? I dont wanna go full romantic mode, but is he just resentful of seeing a bird that is the physical representation of someone else's feelings or something......

The spy. Honestly no idea. There's some theories floating around that Haku is the spy, but I would rather see him during the Hotarubi episode before jumping to conclusions, but it's understandable how people might think that I guess...? He IS very nice and helpful and randomly finding the MC fleeing by train was way too much of a coincidence... he does seem to always tie the MC to Darkwick somehow, firstly by KIDNAPPING her and then by talking her into staying. If the MC is the trigger to a bigger event, then one could see that as suspicious. But I would like a bit more evidence first lol

Back to Taiga, why is he. Like why

Okay no but seriously. If we take the timeloop thing seriously + Haku being a spy, here's the theory:

Taiga knows the MC is the trigger for an awful event and tried killing them back in the Prologue in order to cut the problem on its roots. Haku, if we consider him as the spy, WANTS the event to happen (considering he could also be aware of the loop), which is why he saved us and took us to Darkwick, therefore letting it all play out once again.

If Haku isn't the spy, then we would have to chalk it up as Taiga knowing and trying to kill us, but destiny (???) being a bitch, therefore putting Haku there as a pawn to make things play out again

Maybe the spy can control other ghouls? Who know tbh

Finally, what is going on during the first scene we see in the game? Darkwick on fire and the first character we choose jumping off of the building? I wonder what would happen if we choose Taiga as our first card....... maybe I should create a sub acc

Anyway if anyone has more questions/theories PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY IM OBSESSED WITH THIS GAME I NEED TO THINK ABT IT

There is also a good theory on reddit made by u/imonlybr16 that states this:

"Before the prologue, when you open the game for the first time, you're greeted with the opening scene involving MC running through the halls of a ruined Darkwick. The question is asked "When the world is collapsing around you, whose hand will you take?"

There you're taken to your character choice screen. The guy you choose is later shown on the railing of a balcony, about to jump off.

Now I think I have a very far fetched and vague idea as to what is going on.

In chapter 2, we learn that the person that Alan killed was Dante or at least he thought he did. But we meet Dante and he's very much alive.

This comes theory number one.

***You can't actually die on campus.***

Note the use of actually here. You can 100% still die, you just end up coming back to life.

If Rui is your home screen he talks about accidentally killing someone else in his dorm and being annoyed with having to lift them back to Obscuary. This struck me as a particularly odd dialogue because Rui's curse causes people to die.

Unless, you can't die on campus.

This would explain Dante pretty much instantly. Yes Alan killed him but yes he's alive.

The campus itself is an anomaly, stopping people from dying doesn't sound too far fetched. I expect this to be revealed with the other two members of Obscuary, as that dorm seems to have a connection to death. One of the things that always pops up is that ghouls aren't immortal, no matter how quickly they heal.

Also explains how Calamari didn't die in chapter 3. Ren ran from the dorm > the caves > the jetty and Calamari was already pretty dehydrated in the beginning.

But OP you might say, aren't all the guys talking like they believe they're going to die.

Luckily, that brings us to vauge and far fetched theory number two.

***The campus is on fire due to a rebellion***

In the very last chapter of the prologue we get to see Kaito's wickhive. There we see three pretty interesting threads.

. There's gonna be an uprising soon

. One of you is a demon

. There's a guy who could see the future

Kaito is surprised at something he sees in this scene but we don't learn what it is. This chapter's 'preview' is one of the scenes we see in the very beginning. Blood and a Lily.

I believe that the first thread is foreshadowing and will . After you meet your chosen guy standing on the railing you get a line of dialogue (or not if you picked Towa) that changes depending on who you picked. Some imply that what they're doing is going to save you(Jiro, Zenji and Sho), some apologize stating that they could protect what they cared about until the very end (Luca,Kaito,Haru and Yuri) but three characters caught my attention

Leo: Life sucks and then you die,right? I just want to make the assholes responsible regret it.

Ren: This is exactly why I didn't to do this! I knew this was how it was going to end.

Subaru: This is all my fault. I don't expect you to forgive me, but this is the least I can do. Please take this as my final act of good faith.

Especially Subaru's and Ren's, that seemingly imply either the MC's (Ren's) or their (Subaru) involvement in the current situation. Now what does this has to do with a potential uprising?

One of the things we learn from the very beginning is the inter-politics of the houses and by extension the ghouls. Especially after the fallout of the clash. Things are pretty tense and an uprising or rebellion seems to be the most likely thing.

As to what happened and why? I have no clue. Though one thing to note is that according to the prophecy, as long as the ghouls are in Darkwick, they prevent a disaster from coming. If Darkwick is destroyed however, the prophecy can't be fulfilled, or can it?"

This is such a good theory too, I really think u/imonlybr16 has probably gotten a lot of things right.

Although it's weird that death is such a big threat to us specifically, but maybe the Academy can't prevent death by curses, much like the Mesmer Matches dont work on someone who's cursed. Hhmm...

[exitwound]

do you have any advice for people who are scared of confronting life and reality

from telephone by percival everett: “You kill yourself because you don’t live in this world.”

sorry this is such a brutal way to start answering an ask seeking advice on something that needs like truly crazy levels of tenderness and forgiveness for the self, at least if i’m understanding what you’re asking about—then I think this excerpt is worth including here bc although it doesn’t answer your question it does show what the stakes can be i think. reality is accessible to everyone. even if yours looks and feels different. it’s still yours.

i think that you have to confront life and reality because there is no reality if you don’t confront it and less real life for you. The worst part is thinking about the past in which you did not confront it but you don’t need to do and it is only another deterrent to the confrontation… You absolutely don’t need to regret anything to change and i know it’s so hard to figure out how to feel the urgency of your need to confront things enough to confront them without getting stuck in the pain of having not confronted them yet but tbh It just takes practice and all of the kindness you can find for yourself and then even more.Ans time and continued effort. but mostly kindness for yourself. thinking about why you want to confront your life—not bc you want to, plainly, but because you want yourself to be able to live well.—>Because you don’t want more suffering for yourself because you have love and compassion for yourself. it’s this kind of logic at least that has helped me a lot.

i also think everything that you are and everything that you give wants to find its way back to you and love you but if you are hiding from the world you live in it can’t find you very well!! i think it’s about trying to make yourself visible to yourself and then learning how to look without hatred or pain or regret. Also there’s beauty in reality because reality is true it’s not sinister it just is. and you will find all that beauty. also reality and life misses you. you’re good for it and for the world. It wants you in it and it wants you to know it and love it because it loves you. and your continued existence in the world makes the world feel loved. This is why we care about things

I hope this helped at all much much love

[edoro]

Dunmeshi spoilers, talking about Thistle and Delgal

the more i think about it, the less i feel like the text of Dunmeshi really does support the interpretation that Delgal didn't love Thistle

like, yes, he absolutely did use Thistle, and displayed a clear sense of entitlement towards him - the baseline expectation that if he had a problem, Thistle could and would solve it, and then the idea that once he'd set Thistle to solve a problem he could just... turn that solution off when he felt like it ("we've been here a while now, isn't it time we left the dungeon?" <-words of a man who has not truly grasped what he asked for, what Thistle did to fulfill it, or what any of the repercussions of this are)

there's also an interesting thread of carelessness when it comes to his physical interactions with Thistle during high-emotion moments, like when he grabs onto Thistle by Eodio's sickbed or when he thumps Thistle on the back after Thistle summons monsters to kill their enemies and then brings that kid's dead dad back to life

it feels like he's a large dog who doesn't realize how big he is, or perhaps doesn't realize how small and delicate Thistle is, and perhaps at times is very aware of it and uses his size to intimidate/express his frustration

all of that aside, though, i think it's very clear that prior to Thistle becoming dungeon lord and tbh for a decent chunk of time at the beginning of his tenure as dungeon lord, Delgal had a very emotionally intimate relationship with him

i don't think you can sort them neatly into the categories of older vs younger sibling. they've both been both at different times, depending on how you measure it. Thistle is certainly older chronologically, and there was a chunk of Delgal's life - a very formative chunk, too - where Thistle was older, smarter, and stronger, where Thistle looked out for him and protected him and taught him things.

and then there were a few years where they were at the same developmental level... and then Delgal outgrew Thistle. he got bigger and older physically and he matured mentally past the point where Thistle was. not only that, but he became king, and while Thistle may have been raised alongside him like a brother, that doesn't make Thistle a prince - he was first and foremost a servant (and property) of the crown, even if his position meant he enjoyed a close relationship with the king, queen, and prince.

but that doesn't make Thistle necessarily the little brother - he is now, but it seems to me that there's still a part of him and Delgal that sees him as someone with the power to comfort and protect and teach, rather than someone who needs to be comforted and protected and taught

take the scene where Delgal says he's afraid of dying after his father was killed: that's an extremely tender, intimate, emotional scene. Delgal is crying while Thistle strokes his hair and promises to protect him. Delgal, the king, is being vulnerable in a way he absolutely cannot with most people, and Thistle sees his vulnerability and offers not only comfort but the promise of safety - don't worry, i'll make it better, i'll chase away the monsters under your bed, i won't let anything bad happen to you, i won't let anyone hurt you.

Delgal sees him as someone to seek that comfort from and Thistle sees himself as being in a position to give that comfort. he yearns for Delgal's attention and approval but also sees himself as Delgal's protector.

and then we have scenes like the one where Thistle resurrected that kid's dad, where he sees everyone staring at him in the aftermath of this bloody route and a bit of casual necromancy and realizes they're unsure, even scared of him, and it's Delgal who steps in and changes the mood by thumping Thistle on the back and praising him; Delgal who manages the crowd and keeps Thistle safe, setting the expectation for how everyone should react, lending his social cachet to Thistle in this moment to protect him from backlash

they go back and forth like this with each other, and i think it's one of the most interesting things about their relationship. no one else in Delgal's family has the same kind of relationship with Thistle. no one else knows him as well or loves him like Delgal does. no one else is close with him like that.

ultimately, i don't think you can look at the way he sought comfort from Thistle after his father's death and think that there isn't love and emotional intimacy there. the real tragedy is that Delgal always loved Thistle, but he never understood Thistle, and his inability to do so combined with his general passivity and avoidance played a big part in things getting as fucked up as they did.

[poppitron360]

Someone sent me an ask ages ago about my Valdangelo hcs, but it somehow got deleted? I’m really really sorry bc I missed a chance of a lifetime to infodump so I hope you’re reading this if that was you and you’ve been waiting for my response- here it is. Please please please don’t be discouraged I love it when people send me asks.

This also doubles up as the third instalment of my series about “Why Literally Any Ship Is Better Than Caleo/Deep-Dive Into My Thoughts On All Leo Ships”:

Pt. 1 Valzhang

Pt. 2 Valgrace

We were robbed of Leo and Nico’s friendship. I get that there are a lot of characters and so many arcs to give them, but I wish that Rick had given them more time to interact and spent less time on Caleo, because tbh we never really cared about Cal for any reason other than to develop the men’s arcs. Because Platonic Valdangelo has so much potential that just isn’t covered in the books, I’m gonna base most of this post on what COULD’VE been, from fannon and headcannons.

1. They are Trauma Twinsies. By that, I mean they are both metaphors for different ways of coping with loss. Nico pushes others away from himself, not wanting to get close to anyone. Leo pushes himself away from others, hiding behind an idealised version of himself. Both believe that letting others in would just lead to rejection, and so they shut everyone out to protect themselves. But I feel like Nico copes with it a lot better than Leo does. He has an outlet for it- being emo. As someone who dabbles with emoism myself, I can tell you that, for me, wearing those clothes actually makes me incredibly happy. Nico is owning his pain. Leo is bottling it all up inside and then hiding it behind the jokes and the smiles. I feel like Nico could teach Leo to let it out a bit.

2. Also, their backstories match in more ways than one. Both their moms were killed because of a prophecy about them- leading them both to blame themselves for their deaths. Both have been treated as outcasts because of their powers, Nico by CHB and CJ, Leo by his family (and probably CHB as well, though we don’t really see how he was treated after revealing his abilities). Both ran away because of that. Both probably have religious trauma. They’ve both lost everyone they’ve ever cared about. They’re both being smothered with love and affection by Jason and the rest of the fandom. They both cope with feeling alone by spending more time talking to things that aren’t alive, Nico to the dead, Leo to his machines.

3. So imagine how they could seek comfort in each other! They’ve both been through similar things, so they understand each other’s pain way better than the others. I mean, Jason means well, but he’s never truly known what it’s like to be an outcast- he was held aloft on a golden shield and pronounced Preator. Neither of them would try to “fix” the other, and they wouldn’t try to “one up” the other either. They just share, and when the other says “that sucks”, they know that they really mean it. I imagine they sit five feet apart and just cry. No talking necessary, just silent understanding passing between them. They keep each other company, because they both know what it’s like to be alone.

4. They are both autistic (headcannon). Thank you to @aroaceleovaldez for opening my eyes to this one, and in fact making me realise a few things about myself and why I relate to Leo and Nico so much (pls go check out their posts on the subject, they do a much better job at explaining it than me). But it’s true. I don’t know if Rick did it intentionally or not, but I henceforth hath claimed them both as my kin, alongside Hephaestus himself (“I don’t understand organic life forms”- me neither, man, me neither). Leo and Nico communicate on the same wavelength, something Caleo doesn’t do. Calypso explodes at him for not fitting the “hero” stereotype, for being different. She has no patience with Leo when he does a social fuck-up, something I personally find incredibly frustrating. When he does something wrong, she just shouts at him, and doesn’t take the time to explain what he should do differently. No wonder Leo immediately got defensive! Here was this random woman yelling at him because he broke her table, and he didn’t understand what he did wrong.

5. They are both tiny- much like how Leo and Frank’s physical appearances symbolise their differences, Leo and Nico’s symbolise their similarities. Because all sad people are short, apparently. Valzhang is the yin and the yang, Valdangelo is just two yins excitedly info-dumping about their special interests, (Mythomagic, Machinery/Dragons). Their shortness could be metaphors for many things that they have in common, but I think it best symbolises their loss of childhoods. Nico has changed a lot since he was that happy little ten-year-old we first met in ttc, but Rick never lets us forget that he’s still just a kid. Leo always lacked the physical advantage in fights, so he’s had to learn from an early age to use his brains and his wits to defend himself. As a result, he grew up way too fast, but he still projects that silly, hyperactive little-boy energy as a way to mask. Calypso ridicules Leo for his height and his scrawny appearance.

6. Nico could let Leo get closure on his mom. Think about it. He’d be able to summon her, let him make peace, and let him realise that she does not blame him for her death. Nico could console Leo, reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, because Nico understands more than anybody what Leo is going through. This helps Leo on his arc way more than Calypso could, help him get closure, and learn to accept himself and his powers.

So, the summary of all these points is: They can understand each other on ANOTHER LEVEL. More than Cal and Leo ever could.

Like I said in my Valzhang post, it doesn’t have to be romantic. I hate that everything revolves around romance. Platonic relationships are important, y’all! We all need them, especially Leo, considering how insecure he feels about being the “seventh wheel”.

What ship should I do next? These are all the ones I actively ship, but anything’s better than Caleo. Liper could be fun, or Perleo. Maybe, to prove that literally anything is better than Caleo, I’ll do Leo x Octavian? Lmk in the comments.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 146 thoughts

This chapter (and thus this chapter review) contains discussion of abuse, suicidal ideation and CSA, so if you're not in the headspace for that, skip this one and I'll see you next time.

we are so oshi no back

After last chapter left me fighting for my life to come up with literally anything to say about it, this was one of those chapters where I ended up having more and more to say about it the more I turned it over in my head. It still feels a bit disjointed and has that same issue of ripping through the events of the movie way too fucking fast that the arc as a whole has been having lately but this chapter was such a breath of fresh air I can't bring myself to care.

The chapter itself is more or less split in two, with one half dedicated to 15 Year Lie's in-universe events and the other focusing a bit on Aqua and Kana for, tbh, the first time in way too long. Admittedly, my enthusiasm for 15YL has waned given the reveal of just how much of it is completely made up but like. I'm still gonna over analyze this stuff. Sunk cost fallacy, don't fail me now!!!!

I joke, but the 15YL section of this chapter was legitimately bone chilling. That barrage of cuts following Uehara's attack on Airi…. fuuuuuuuck, man.

Airi herself is pure fucking poison this chapter too and I mean it in the best way. I continue to be incredibly impressed with how OnK understands the motivations of a person like Airi what her abuse of Hikaru is really about. When discussing this in 141, Miyako points out just how often victims of abuse can themselves go on to perpetuate their own pain out of a need to try and regain their dignity, but I think what Airi seeks in her abuse of Hikaru is control. We see how often she wields her power over him while pretending that he has as much agency as she does in their """relationship""" and it's repeated here, too; she throws the results of her own sexual abuse of him in his face as a way of permanently chaining the two of them together, all while tearing down his worth as a person as if to 'prove' he deserves to be trapped in her grasp. I've said before that Akasaka is unsettlingly good at writing toxic mothers but I think Airi has made it pretty clear that Akasaka understands and is thus excellent at writing abuse and abusers in general, and for someone like me who counts that as one of their favourite Themes (tm) in fiction, I feel quite well fed.

The abuse Airi hurls at him is also interesting from a perspective of paralleling Hikaru even further with Ai. We saw snippets of this in 140, of Hikaru characterizing himself as someone desperately trying to construct a version of himself that can be loved by others the same way Ai creates 'Ai of B-Komachi', a version of herself who can give and receive love in the way she thinks her authentic self is unable to. Airi puts this into more explicit words; Hikaru must construct this fake version of himself because there is no 'real' him and thus, he is inherently unlovable. Jesus Christ.

Knowing those words were swimming around in his head, it makes the HKAI scene that follows even more of a gutpunch than it already is. It's the most wonderful kind of miscommunication tragedy - with their respective traumas, there is basically no other way a talk like that could have gone and yet it's agonizing to see it play out. Ai's innocent cruelty in the face of Hikaru's pain and her suffocating smile… the worst part is, while I completely understand why this was so shattering for Hikaru, it's impossible to miss that this was, in a way, an expression of love from Ai; it was honesty, an admission of vulnerability. She herself even says she doesn't want to lie to him. But to Hikaru, what else could that have sounded like but a confirmation of his most godawful fear?

that said. the timeline here is very confusing. this seems to imply hkai were still dating all the way up to the murder-suicide, which seemed to be just before the dome concert but did the breakup really seem that recent during their phone call?? this whole timeline is penised beyond repair.

The art in this chapter in general is incredibly good but something in particular I want to highlight is how much and how often Aqua-as-Hikaru looks like Ai in these panels. I can't put my finger on what it is, but that similarity always makes me feel so warm and sad whenever I see it. For as much as he struggles with his relationship to her, Aqua really is his mother's son through and through.

and. man. what even is there to say about that scene in the rain and everything that follows. I was't sure if the murder/suicide was going to be featured in the movie but even the brief snippet of it that we got and that barrage of scene titles and Kamiki's silent scream… whoof. shit like this makes me really hope we get to see mengo illustrate a horror manga someday because i think she would absolutely kill it.

We cut back to reality to see Aqua reading the script and in perhaps the most interesting swerve in this chapter, we see that he has once again reverted to his double black hoshigans. And uh, am I going to sound like a terrible person if I say I'm really glad for this? LOL.

Obviously I would rather Aqua not be experiencing Suicidal Ideation (Bass Boosted) 24/7, but it's kind of a relief to see that one single conversation wasn't enough to totally shake Aqua out of that headspace. I've talked a lot about how frustrating I find it that 'Ruby finds out Aqua is Gorou' is treated as the finale to her black hoshigan arc and every ongoing thread, internal and external, attached to it was dropped like a rock with no further interrogation. It robbed Ruby of the opportunity for some really important growth and, imo, was just shitty for Kana and Memcho who were treated extremely poorly by her and got no apology for it. I was really worried this would be the case for Aqua as well and that his own dip into that rancid headspace would end on a wet fart which would really sting given just how little insight we've gotten into him this arc. But this chapter makes it clear that while some cracks have started to form in his armor, he's not in the clear just yet.

i mean, even if he was permanently back to one white star, aqua is such a little freak regardless………………………….

What this means in the long term is a little hard to pin down, both because we've had so little insight into Aqua's headspace this arc and because the exact nature of black hoshigan as a symbol has always been a little Calvinballed, but in this context and for Aqua specifically, I think we can read this as his conviction in the messy endgame of his revenge play being shaken up. I, personally, have been reading the black hoshigan as of late as an expression of the sort of futureless despair that can become suicidal ideation, at least for Aqua; since immediately after Ai's death, we have gotten incredibly strong hints that Aqua is suicidal, his guilt-fueled desire to die and his desperate want to experience a happy future at war within him. He more or less explicitly says as such in 106, expressing that this break in their relationship is necessary for Ruby to be able to live on 'after he's gone' - which strongly implies that Aqua's revenge play is intended to end with his death.

Knowing that Ruby is Sarina wasn't quite enough to shake his conviction, but their talk in 143 was. I do think Ruby just giving him some straightforward affirmation was a good starting point but I also can't help but wonder, with the context that his white stars were not indicative of a permanent change, if hearing just how deeply Ruby still relies on 'Gorou's' presence in her life struck a nerve for him. Paraphrasing her from 143, she straight up says Gorou is the one who gives her life meaning. And if that's how it is, what exactly will happen if he's gone again..?

Obviously this is all still speculation because even when I am begging on hand and knee Akasaka is refusing to give us Aqua introspection but at this point I have to make a guess at SOMETHING if i am going to say anything remotely coherent about aqua in this arc, so

ANYWAY!! AQUA AND KANA HAVING A NORMAL ASS CONVERSATION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!!! Ngl, it did give me a bit of a chuckle to see Kana voice the question of whether Aqua was getting too immersed in his role, given that people were accusing her of that back during the first round of the RBKN conflict.

I was also really surprised to see Aqua just outright say that yeah, he is at least flirting with suicidal ideation. Like - that's the first time he's said that out loud, to anybody??? In 143 he voices the less damning but still not great sentiment that he feels guilty for being alive but this is to my knowledge the first time Aqua has expressed his suicidal ideation out loud, let alone to anyone else. And… fuck, man! That's an absolutely terrifying thing to hear a friend say. No wonder Kana reacts like she does.

Because of my powers of Claire-voyance (read: basic pattern recognition and being in fandoms for 15+ years), I'm pretty sure people are going to be Very Mean to Kana about the way she chooses to respond to Aqua here but honestly? Not only did this tough love response feel very IC for her, but the clumsiness of it felt very honest to me. I think a lot of people in fandom lately just want characters to talk like fucking therapists all the time and have the Correct And Unproblematic Response to… well, situations like this. But Kana is an 18 year old girl who has her own share of issues and her friend she knows is dealing with his own huge amount of baggage just casually dropped an "i wanna kms" on her. All things considered, I think she handles it surprisingly well.

Because like… look at what Kana really says to Aqua here. She gives him some of their usual banter to diffuse the tension but then makes herself very clear: she does not want Aqua to hurt himself and makes him promise that he won't. It's clumsy and rough in the way Kana often is, but I think the important part - her sincere care for Aqua as her friend - really does shine through.

also cute that other people caught: Kana squishing Aqua's face seems to be an intentional callback to one of their on-stage interactions in Tokyo Blade, right down to Aqua making a identical scrunchyface to Kana. Extremely cute. I love it when Aqua is cute <3

Kana also being a person able to shake Aqua out of his black hoshigans also leans into something I've been hoping is going to pay off for a while now; the idea that Aqua's salvation is not going to come from any one, singular character but from the many different people who Aqua has built relationships with coming together when he needs them to support him. One of the things OnK has continually highlighted is the way isolation and lacking support systems warp and damage people's mental health and I think it would play excellently into that theme to have Aqua's support net, so to speak, to be wide enough to catch him no matter where he falls.

the product placement was very stupid but i did laugh pretty hard at it and then immediately go buy myself some potato chips so i guess it worked. genius mangaka aka akasaka.

All jokes aside, the note their talk ended off on was so lovely too. Aqua being honest enough to admit that being with Kana is fun and Kana getting all dokidoki and then quietly admitting she feels the same when she's alone… cute! But more than that, it highlights something about the AQKN dynamic I think is really important, regardless of whether their relationship is romantic, platonic, in laws, mlm/wlw hostility or whatever else; Kana is his friend and he can just be a normal boy and have normal fun with her without any ulterior motives. It's something Aqua doesn't really have in any of his other relationships so getting a reminder of that and what it means to Aqua was really good.

honestly i think i am just so starved of nice things happening to my son that seeing him opening up to one of his friends and admitting he has fun (HIS LAUGH!!!!!!) was like a shot of heavenly ambrosia for me. please can hoshino aqua have just one nice day.

OR UH… BASED ON THAT LAST PAGE…. PROBABLY NOT ANYTIME SOON….!!!

this is what i mean about this chapter giving me 5000000 things to talk about. kamiki is TALKING TO RUBY IN THE FLESH FOR THE FIRST TIME and i almost completely forgor.

why is he dressed like a dad about to take her out on a fishing trip, though

Ruby looks unusually solemn while she's praying, which is interesting. She's been pretty bright and high energy since 141ish so I'm curious what has her looking so comparatively dour. She's praying at a shrine, too, which means there's probably something on her mind. Nik (@akane-kurokawa) theorized that she's anxious about the upcoming scenes in the movie (LIKE, YOU KNOW, HER MOM'S DEATH) and until we get further insight on that, that's what I'm gonna assume too.

putting aside how Shrimptresting it is that Kamiki turned up out of nowhere like that, I can't help but note a certain horrible parallel between Uehara meeting young Hikaru in the rain with a black umbrella and Kamiki doing the same for his daughter…

cannot wait for that entire talk to get offscreened. lol.

break next week……………………………

[idyllic-affections]

Hello! I saw your works of what Kaveh and Cyno would be like as parents... That leaves me thinking of Al-haitham as a father. Would him take his child to his grandmother? Would he read them advanced physics books? (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

scholarly lineage.

summary. what would alhaitham be like as a father?

trigger & content warnings. brief hypothetical mentions of assault in general, can be interpreted as s/a, but is not explicitly stated to be that way. sensory overload mentions. spoilers for alhaitham's character stories.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. dad!alhaitham & reader. 0.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. in this fic, alhaitham and the reader are both written as neurodivergent in some way; interpret it however you please!

author's thoughts. OUGDHSJGSJSG wait this is so cute. dad alhaitham..... it is such a cool thought, because with alhaitham, i don't think there's any obvious or "correct" way to write him as a dad. he could be overprotective. he could be very casual, the "cool dad" if you will. also i know i haven't been posting as much recently! it's literally only because i've been hyperfixating on hsr... whoops. /lh

alhaitham as a father is a very interesting concept to me. now, believe it or not, i feel like he is a less strict father than cyno. he's actually relatively laid-back.

alhaitham is the kind of guy who raises his child to be smart. he raises them to play the game, not to be played by it, you know? therefore, he believes in his child's judgement and their ability to make wise decisions. he feels no need to be protective over them.

(however... that does not mean someone could do something harmful to them and get away with it. if anyone does anything to hurt them? abuses them? verbally, physically, or worse? good lord, he does not take well to that. he is a man with power, and by the gods, he'll use it if he has to in their defense.)

if his child has sensory issues, alhaitham is very attentive to those things and will get them any and all needed accommodations. if they struggle with auditory sensory issues where they get easily overwhelmed? they'll have ear pieces that match his. <3

when people point it out, depending on who they are, they will get one of two responses; either him very blatantly admitting that yes, their headset matches his, or him getting a little embarrassed and claiming it was all he had on hand at the moment. liar. /lh

it's kaveh that gets the latter response, of course.

if they ever happen to get annoyed with their father in their moments of overwhelm, he doesn't take it personally at all. sensory overload will do that to a person. he gets it, tbh.

i think alhaitham would definitely want his kid to attend the akademiya. ideally, haravatat, but he supposes he'd be okay if they enrolled in a different darshan. he'll recover...

UNLESS they enroll in kshahrewar. alhaitham would NEVER recover from a betrayal of that magnitude!! however, his grandmother herself was from kshahrewar, so... well. he'd get over it, he guesses. he'd still prefer if they enrolled in haravatat.

whatever darshan they enroll in honestly doesn't matter, though, because if anyone gives them trouble for any reason? all alhaitham has to do is give the problematic person a single look and suddenly the issue is resolved! apparently people think he's scary. not that he minds. he likes it that way; it keeps trouble away from both him and his child.

of course, he won't intervene unless they specifically seek out his help, because he knows his kid can handle themselves. still, he pulls a few strings behind the scenes every now and then. he doesn't really want to see his kid struggle. he knows they're intelligent, and he also knows he doesn't have to worry about them not wanting to work for themselves. therefore, he sees no reason to let them struggle needlessly.

he'd also understand if they weren't too big a fan of being surrounded by so many people. he isn't fond of it, either, so he'd let them stay in his office whenever needed. he'll even invite them to do their classwork in there rather than anywhere else in the akademiya, simply so that they don't have to be around a bunch of random people they couldn't possibly be less interested in.

alhaitham definitely read his kid very difficult books when they were little, which would totally lead to them being ahead of their peers. that really wouldn't be unexpected, i think. they probably enrolled in the akademiya a little early.

you know that "i know you don't know any astronomical pretentious voluminous colossal words" audio? yeah, that was alhaitham's kid when they were small.

also, yes, alhaitham would absolutely take them to his grandmother!! i think she would see their father in them, just like how she saw alhaitham's parents in him. of course, this is before her death.

i think alhaitham would ultimately be content that his child got to meet the woman who raised him.

to think that she saw himself in them...

it brings him an odd sense of pride and comfort.

and as a little treat:

kaveh is kind of like another dad (or like a wine uncle LMAO) for them. do what you will with this information.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[daydreamerwonderkid]

I was a part of an PMMM rp group ages ago and since I was last to join I was saddled with the role of Kyubey.

The original goal of the group was to try and create an alternative ending for a new cast of original characters. I believe the plan was to find a way to rp everyone into a happy ending if possible, but no one was against it turning out dark like the source material.

I don't remember a lot of the rules except for one because I purposely exploited it as much as humanly possuble. The rule was that if you had conversations with other players outside the main group chat you had to inform the GM of it and provide screenshot evidence of your conservations.

These private messages were meant to be used as filler rp where players could further develop their characters and relationships outside the main story. I want to clarify that I had full permission from the GM to use this option with less restrictions as they agreed it would be in character for Kyubey to seek out more private conversations versus participating more openly in the group chat.

Long story short I fully dived into my role as Kyubey and systematically went after everyone in private messages to turn them against each other. Again this was forever ago so I'm a bit foggy on all the details but I managed to convince at least 2 members to kill each other, got 1 to turn into a witch by manipulating their character into thinking another player's character was cheating on them with someone else from the group, and then managed to trick another player into doing a contract with some clever word play on my part that the GM later backed me up on when that player denied agreeing to it.

The group didn't last long mostly due to scheduling issues but I still hold some fond memories of it. I haven't been able to pull something like this since then.

But I'll never forget how it felt to watch all my machinations fall into place and the demented giggle I let out when that player finally realized I had tricked them into a contract.

I am ... good for you? XD

Tbh I have no idea how text based rp works, but your GM must have had really trusted you not to abuse the game and/or derail the story by making you fucking Kyubey a;dljkfa;lgjal;dajga

Personally, I've only ever played villain characters when I've been the GM/DM myself. So in that aspect, I can absolutely relate to that giddy feeling that comes with rping a villain and pulling one on the heroes.

But HOLY FUCK, man O_O