#tbh the girlies are still going through it but now there's less of the whole torment subplot

[organised-disaster]

I will finish this at a later date probably

Work in progress of Judy Hodiah*, the secondary main character of Copyright Free Snowbird (still no name)

@randosfandos be my cheerleader (please)

*not her surname anymore don't freak out

[mysadblacksoul]

Let's talk about Clancy, eh? (plus the livestream)

So I'm watching the livestream (the vod) and I decided to share my opinions about each songs!

without the first 4 singles

But tbh I think I'm an Overcompensate girly, that before hearing the rest of this album this is my top 1

With Backslide as a close second

Wait why should I increase my volume

Oh that's why

It was a trap

Okay Midwest Indigo, let's go I'm so ready

What an outfit Mr Joseph

Omg it's so bouncy

JIM

JENNA

I love the shouty lyrics

This MV is so goofy what the hell

Okay so it's so happy, so funky I love it!

The drums make want to do a lil dance

Hope the next one won't be sad

Yes Tyler, this song will go so hard live, I agree

And yes, put Josh on the mic!

Routines In The Night everybody

Oh so it's the rap one?

It's much less bouncy, but I can still tap my leg to it so I'm fine

You think that this is like the sister song to Ode To Sleep?

The chorous is so catchy what the hell

Yes! Give me those adlibs!

The dances, the visuals, the face card that never declines

What is he eating for Lord's sake

I can't pay attention to the songs when every time one ends those fools pop up on my screen again lol

"not every video is gonna be lore based" my ass

Wait so Routines is not lore oriented? But I see so many references :((((((

Vingette!

So it's a crowd's favourite? Aight

Oh it sound so nostalgic

More rap? okay, okay

Omg the vocals????

It's so different, like I can't predict where are we going with the beat

The bridge is so out of place but so in place???

What is going on

No but I see why they like it, for sure

God I love all the Joshes in the MVs

So Jenna's version will have another MV?

Sounds fun!

Oh it's soft version

So this is a fanmade mv for Jenna, how cute

No for real it is emotional, but in the best way possible

This version is filled with so much love, I can't even explain

The flashbacks to the young dudes? I might cry too

Yeah I se the vision. Like The Craving does feel more "right" played on the ukulele. It gives it much more emotion!

Now you just bully him lol. Tyler has two hands to hold two ukuleles, this is lore guys

Lavish whoo!

Before we start why the hell is the title of this song the only one written in different font in the lyric sheet in the CD, huh?

O damn man in black, get it I guess

The vocals are so dreamy, so different

Another leg mover

Why all of this songs are so catchy are you putting crack in it or what

It's also very chill so far

I also really like the use of the strings, it makes the song more full!

It kind of sounds like a movie soundtrack? Or is it just the MV that makes it feel this way

The silliest MV so far lmao

And seeing the amount of work that went into it makes it even better

And now Navigating!

I have to stop myself from looking for lore

I'm 3 seconds in, why it already sounds like a bop

This might be my new favourite song from this album

The electric guitar? With the synth? 11/10

The chorous is so amazing, simply

Will the bridge be sad or will he scream

Oh come through with this bass

JOSH ISN'T REAL THEORY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE WE IN THE FOREST FIC

Where did he go irl lmao

No for real it might be my favourite now, sorry Overcompensate

The Bandito one is the real one, write that down

NO I THINK I JUST GOT IT, THE WHOLE LORE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW

What the hell Tyler, we have such a different taste then

Snap Back let's go!

What is going on

I'm like a second in

Oh no, it's broken

Instead of Snap Back premiere we have the premiere of Next Semester (ukulele version)

I'm not mad at all

Okay, let's go for real this time

Oh it's so dreamy

So this is the MV with head shaving lmao

BACKSLIDE, I heard that everyone

The drums are really shining on that song

And I love the contrast between low tone verses and more melodic, high alibs in chorous

The bridge seems sad I fear

Or are we picking up the tempo?

Nah we are putting more adlibs now!

Even better

Oldies station better be nostalgic

And quick question before we start, what the hell did you do to Josh?

Is this ballad?

Soft, fun and with funky vocals!

The lyrics are so beautiful, god

Omg Josh lmao

What a contrast to the song lol

Oh we are switching

I don't know how to justify it, but it feels like such a twenty one pilots song

Like it just makes sense for them to make it

I really like it

Honestly At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb sounds silly from the start

So is the MV

I really like the rollercoaster of the vocals. They are kind of all over the place, but still makes a lot of sense

It's the beat drop on the "drop"

Oh rap some more sure!

Why does he want to fight in every MV

Very fun, very chill and then you have the post chorous that are hard hitting

Love the contrast

Am I crazy or did they use kalimba in the end? I might be wrong tho

That's so sad that we are already finishing

One last track

Paladin Strait whoo!

I'm afraid that this one will be the sad one

The tears producer

The heart clencher

The ukulele strikes back

Love those low vocals

It's a song to sway this time

The drums strikes back

I don't know why it kind of sounds like the end of the western movie. Like after the good ending the cowboy is walking towards the sun, you see my vision?

This song is full of hope, so amazing

God the lyrics sounds like Clancy is finaly free

I might cry

It sounds like good ending to the trilogy

So it feels like a scam

It's too good to be true

But I don't know, maybe after all the ending of this story is good for all of us

What, is the silence in the official audio or is it just the end of the livestream

NO WAIT THERE IS MORE

no

wait guys no

FPE?????

WHO THE HELL

IS IT BLURRY

WHAT THE HELL

Now I need the MV to see what the hell is going on

The End

Nah, I'm not leaving you like this

I still think that Navigating is my fav from the new songs

But I'm gonna go listen to the album some more and then decide for sure

It's a good mix of everything, very twenty one pilots style

I just wished for more rage and screaming, but we need to be calm sometimes, I get it

There isn't a song that I don't like, that's for sure

So yeah! This are my feelings, thoughts (and prayers)

Give me your favourite song in the comments!

[cherryberg]

Your top 3 musicals ever gogogo gogo ogo go

HEEEEELPPPPP HEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPP aough .... ardate please you have to understand that i Have to understand that my taste in musicals are very limited now. when you were a musical girlie in 2016, you leave that shit behind for a few hundred years and now have to rebuild all of that again from scratch with a new appreciation so...

this went longer than expected so the list goes Marvin Trilogy, Fun Home, School of Rock. more under the cut smiles

Marvin Trilogy

In Trousers, Falsettos [March of the Falsettos, Falsettoland]

Fav Songs, excluding obvious fan-favourites: Can't Sleep, How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, My Father's a Homo/Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist, Round Tables Square Tables, etc

i don't know many, but man. i like a good sung-through musical. means i can listen to the whole soundtrack from start to finish and have cohesively consumed a whole narrative. and tbh? falsettos, but even in trousers too, don't really have Bad songs. i've listened to the falsettos 2016 revival and in trousers 1979 original cast soundtracks dozens of times (both separately and together). which, i mean. compared to the other musicals i have here, i haven't even listened to their whole soundtracks (which. to be fair i did see those live). and yeah you have the really good songs that Everyone likes. the Thrill of First Loves and the Whizzer Going Downs and what have you, but you listen to the tracks a second time, or maybe watch the proshot again, and you get the smaller less-appreciated songs in your head. not included in the fav songs list because that thing's long, but i love A Breakfast Over Sugar. i get Set Those Sails and A Marriage Proposal and Miracle of Judaism stuck in my head. and its great! not to mention just how good and how important the story is .. i could go on but aough ..... long

Fun Home

Fav Songs: Edges of the World, Welcome to Our House on Maple Avenue, Telephone Wire, currently being annoying about Raincoat of Love

PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES

yeah man. saw this one for school. still have the ticket actually. but Because i did it for school, i have so much analysis and thoughts up here, it's maybe too long and specific. and also for like. a specific production that no one on tumblr would've watched. i would give anything to see that production again though. it wouldn't be the same as seeing it live, Especially during certain moments, but goodness gracious, man. the set design, the lighting, and that revolving stage? absolutely everything to me... so well integrated. just... mwah

School of Rock

Fav Songs: Stick It to the Man, Act 2 Scene 8: Dewey's Bedroom. You're in the Band .. mehbeh

Um... I don't really.. have a third that I can think of that's on par. But, it's School of Rock. It's awesome. my sibling had a track record of not liking musicals when they had to come and see it with me (when i still went out to watch musicals aough ...), but I think this was the first one they really liked - enough for me to get them a key ring of the show! (they cried during If Only You Would Listen too :]) It was a wonderful performance, and the kids were so good and coordinated too! They let us take pictures of the ending song ... which i just took a video of, so i still have that. I watched School of Rock during my ... hardcore theatre kid era though so.. i've got a few cringe worthy memories of it .. but yeah is good :]

I did see Moulin Rouge once as well, despite never having seen the movie, and that was very good as well. Though I'm not much for jukebox musicals (can't deny that Moulin Rouge tracks can be freakin' awesome though) and I think I was too busy ogling heehee

but yeah .. that's all :]

[calumhoodgoss]

Hihihi it feels like it’s been forever!!! How are you girlie?

I wanna say I totally understood the 🤑 emoji, cause girl SAME. I’m so glad Cal hasn’t touched his hair, it looks so luscious and I just wanna run my fingers through it (not creepy right?). That second video they posted with Cal on the drums. GORL 😩 we’ve also been fed particularly well these last few days. It went from nothing to a whole lot real quick and I wasn’t ready tbh.

I do wanna mention FOF as well. Idk if anyone has actually brought the merch, I’ve seen a bunch of people say they donated but they hadn’t brought a shirt so that’s interesting. I also wish that when it went live they mentioned what charity/idea they were donating the proceeds to rather than a comment later saying it was going to MSF (which I won’t lie, not entirely sure it’s a good one, happy to be educated) but happyish they clarified it was going to aid in Gaza and The West Bank. But still don’t understand why it was (and kinda still is) sorta neutral. First statement defo neutral but the range dropping slightly less (again, happy to be educated if it actually isn’t)

But very excited for new music!!!! I have a feeling 5SOS6 is going to be less orchestral dreamscapey vibes. But break up songs incoming 🤞🏻🤞🏻 can’t wait to relate too hard to them

Sorry for the novel,

Lighter anon xx⚡️💋

OMG LIGHTER ANONNN HIIIIIIII I MISSED YOU GIRL

firstly cals hair i knowwwwww rightttt 🥵 but im pretty sure he has had a haircut now and mullet cal is back!!! (not at the time of you writing this ask, at the time of me answering it that is (im sorry im so late))

as for FOF i totally agree, don't think I've seen anyone buy the merch loll tbh i honestly think a concert or performance or so.ething in that vein would of been a more profitable catalyst for change... but i cant assume they were all in the place to feasibly do that. like fans weren't really asking for protest merch they were more just asking for them to care so i dont feel like its strange no one has interacted with it all that much (not that u insinuated this, just my thoughts). the semi neutral stance is so so odd to me. a part of me wonders if its for some reason to show solidarity with the democratic party which has supported Israel? i could be so wrong and out of my depth here though !!! this is just a thought !! im aussie and dont fully understand the nuances of American politics so dont read into my thoughts toobmuch

BREAKUP MUSIC THOUGHHHHHH we got so much content for like a week and now its back to silence 😭😭😭😭 when it comes out in a years time i will be SO fkn hype 🥹

[1d1195]

I looked up the songs and omg tell me why I got the urge to CRY during Black and white?! That’s such a cute song 😭and you do seem like a lyric girly! From the songs you’ve mentioned in your asks and even the songs for story inspo they tend to have strong lyrics that do seem to give story vibes! But ahh so happy you got see him live! I’m so glad you had a nice time!

Now idk if you ever answered this before but who was your “main guy” when 1D was still active? Did you go through phases or was it just hard to choose?

Not the trauma dump BAHHA it’s okay, I feel like we have all trauma dumped here😂 plus your blog is a very safe space (at least for me) so it’s okay lol but I’m a bit the same too, if I do something I have to personally feel like I gave it my all in order to feel “okay” about it. I think it’s a good quality to have but definitely not great in the long run if not learned how to manage so it’s okay! At least you’re aware of it! I’m also thankful I’ve had other things to obsess over hahah

I love ranting! I will gladly read anything you feel like ranting about lol I don’t have the kindle app on my phone, what I do is I search for free pdf versions of the book I’m looking for whether it be school related or for fun! If I can find it for free, I WILL BC I LOVE A DEAL! And I also use Apple Books depending on the vibe I’m in lol but overall I do prefer a physical book because I just love the whole experience of it!

And yeah it’s 13😭 idk if I’m gonna be able to commit to a full series because I haven’t been able to do that in a long time 😭 I prefer it that way too now! I don’t really have the time or energy to binge anything anymore, it’s very rare when I do it lol I LOVE watching once a week episodes like it’s so fun for me! When Succession was airing, I WAS LIVING FOR IT! It was so fun to see people’s theories/reactions to it and it was great. Plus I also love Drag Race so that is probably the only show I consistently keep up with lol oh don’t even get me started on the whole Part 1/2 thing IM SUCH A HATER OF THAT!!! Like it’s so unnecessary!! Oh and bestie I’m so excited for the next episode bc a great(and hot 🤭) character is coming back and I’m READY!

It’s always the English teachers that are like the best at explaining! My sophomore English teacher really helped me understanding Shakespeare because I just didn’t get it and I also didn’t care enough to get it lol but she made it bearable! She was also like the one who made me feel more confident in my writing skills even though I always did get good feedback, her enthusiasm for me really made me feel nice 🥹 I’m still a Shakespeare hater though 😗

Aww you’re so sweet! I mean tbh I’m still learning if I’m being honest lol I didn’t really know how to have a full on conversation in English till I started kindergarten. I knew some basic words but at home we mainly spoke Spanish. My dad actually started to teach me a bit before I started so I wasn’t completely clueless. My mom taught me a little bit in English too but she was more worried about my brother and I speaking Spanish well so she focused on that. It was okay like I was alway labeled a “smart” kid so I could make things out a bit quicker. Sometimes I would even help translate a bit for other kids who knew less English at an early age too which meant they were mainly my friends lol but mainly later on it was just ironically reading comprehension/ little bit of grammar that I was struggling a bit. It was mainly like American slang/culture references that would confuse me (idk wtf a cup of joe was until like the 3rd grade 😂). And sometimes even writing was difficult because I would only feel like I could properly express me thoughts/feelings in Spanish and sometimes it happens in convos lol and being a first gen/eldest daughter later on i helped my parents understand certain things in English too since i would have a better understanding in some aspects. But overall in terms of just language stuff, it wanst too bad considering I did have help and I was determined to understand things. Plus I’ve always liked learning lol AHH sorry that was so long it probably doesn’t make sense 😭

Omg Sam😭 that is just so sweet of you to say😭 would have loved to have shared a class with you too💗

Ooo yay the beach sounds so fun and idk a shopping trip sounds fun! AND I SUPPORT ANOTHER SILLY ROMANCE BOOK!!! ITS GOOD FOR THE SOUL!!

I actually went to Mexico today! It was to get a massage but not the relaxing kind lol I messed up my neck and leg somehow?? so I went to get it which I’m okay now lol but I did get to eat some food that I’ve been craving so it was a win lol. But other than that I don’t think I have any set plans! I dyed my hair and girl… it’s giving lava girl from that movie shark boy and lava girl 😀 Anyways lol Do you have any plans?

ALSO BESTIE I READ SUNFLOWER ANS LET ME SAY THAT WAS SO CUTE!! Okay im gonna try to keep it short bc I’ve yapped for too long! Okay he is SO ME WHEN LIKING SOMEONE LIKE I LITERALLY CANNOT LOOK AT THEM BAHAH I loved it though, it’s always so cute seeing a shy flustered Harry! A down bad shy guy! And you know I loved that little jealousrry moment give gave just the right amount of angst between them! And SAM DONT GET ME STARTED ON HER NUMBERS POEM! That was so beautifully written! I immediately thought that it was so YOU in the best way and I honestly loved the new perspective on how I view it! It’s was just perfect! Ahhh I would love to see how they turn out if you’re up for it! I loved it!!!! You did great as always my love!-💜

I was actually a Liam girl at the start! My serious line of thinking was "Harry's too popular I'll never have a chance 🤦‍♀️" and he was so cute. Liam also has the dad-vibe of the band and I'm the mom of the friend group so I figured we would be 🤞 But it lasted about two weeks because Harry is just too sweet and perfect. I still love Liam with all my heart. I def go through phases though! Anytime I see a picture of Louis I pretty much fall in love with him again. His voice and lyrics are CRIMINALLY underrated. Zayn is probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen and it lowkey feels illegal to look at him. But Harry and Niall are my main people these days. Old clips of them doing interviews together are hysterical. They're just so funny together. It was def Harry when 1D was active but my bf likes to make fun of me and say I have 5 celebrity crushes.

Free PDF versions is a move. That's how I read the first half of midnight sun when it was leaked 😂 I love a deal too! I def need to do more searching. But I love bookstores and I love holding the new book it's just so nice!

I too do not enjoy long commitment series/binging anymore either (See also: my addictive personality). It's SO much energy and time. I caught up on Grey's Anatomy a few summers ago (I feel like I've mentioned this before) it literally took THE ENTIRE summer. I had stopped watching when I went to college and then I didn't really have great access to cable all the time so I didn't keep up. Then another 8 seasons had come and gone 🤦‍♀️

No it makes so much sense! I heard that dynamic a lot in my education classes when I got my SEI endorsement--a lot of families have the primary language at home and then English in school. I'm truly astounded that you picked up things so quickly. I literally cannot imagine. We have a teacher at our school that works with students coming from other countries/language backgrounds when they arrive and he tells all of us and the students that if there is slang they don't understand he can ask him and it doesn't have to be awkward or uncomfortable and I think it's really nice but it's what came to mind when I read the cup of joe thing HAHAHAHAHA. You got me looking up the origin of why it's called that 😂 I totally just use the phrases I hear now. Especially from my younger students. They get a kick out of me saying "no cap," "period," and "deadass." (I use that one sparingly and usually only repeat it after one of them say it lollll) ALL TO SAY the slang in America is nuts.

I will let you know, I want to write for an hour or so I think and then maybe read for an hour.

JUST CASUALLY GO TO MEXICO OKAY. That's so cool! I've never really traveled anywhere--but to be fair I'm not very close to any other places. I still want to see a lot of places in the US tbh. So am I to presume you live pretty close to Mexico? Do you mean the massage messed up your neck and leg? I always say I want a massage but then someone pointed out it's almost like a workout for your muscles and they can genuinely be sore afterwards. LAVA GIRL I'M SCREAMING. Does that mean you like it? I think either way it's cool you did something different and fun! I also love that you got food that you were craving. We went out for my sisters bday to a Mexican bistro. One of my favorite places. Truthfully, idk how authentic it was but my bf liked it and he would be the first person to say that it was un-authentic.

No plans for the weekend. Just relaxing and catching up on a few things! I started rewatching a show I had stopped watching after season 2 (of 4 total) so I'm hoping to get through that in the next couple weeks!

SO glad you loved Sunflower! I enjoyed writing it a lot! I lowkey wish I took it a little further and made them kiss or something, but that's what Part 2's are for! 😭 You're so sweet about the numbers and everyone really loves a jealousrry moment it seems 😉 💕💕

xoxo

[heniareth]

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

[ihophashbrowns]

2022 is ending and the public needs to know what your most & least favorite kpop releases were this year! there was good stuff, bad stuff, underwhelming stuff, growers, etc. lets hear yours! :D

the way it would be easier to count the stuff i liked vs the stuff i disliked 😭😭 anyways here's my favorite releases this year...

20. generation - tripleS

fun, upbeat, the mv has a nice laid back "aesthetic" feel to it. the only ppl who didnt like it were miserable newjeans stans! 😭

19. hair cut - xdinary heroes

i actually liked the chorus... doesnt have much replay value but i do listen it whenever it comes on

18. antifragile - le sserafim

i DID love this one, it had to grow on me but its catchy af! 😭

17. forever 1 - snsd

this one had to grow on me too! but its super cute and sweet!,

16. mascara - xg

people who said they didnt like this are liars!! have you considered not messing with your mascara..?

15. nabillera - hyuna

there were a LOT of growers this year! even when i first listened to it i thought she was going for babe pt.2 and when i started liking it i knew that was in fact the case!

14. stupid cool - dawn

i got it on the first listen. i love the beat and i thought the lyrics were absolutely adorable :(

13. talk that talk - twice

pop perfection! the chorus is everything

12. aria - yerin

u either get it you dont! the two gfriend soloists deserve so much better it surprised me how much buddys slept on this release. but i was SEATED!

11. dice - onew

father was fathering through the whole album IDGAF!!! like every song is so good and well made, well sang. this is the superior kpop song named dice that was released this year. lol.

10. maison - dreamcatcher

its catchy af and the message is so REAL! ngl at first i thought they made that word up for the song but i looked it up and its french for "home" so 😭😭 extra points for making me think they came up with that word themselves

9. illusion - aespa

its cunty! catchy! i definitely got it on the first listen! (points off for the yummy yummy yummy in your tummy tummy tummy line tho)

8. bop bop! - viviz

if u hate this song you hate fun tbh! the thing i loved about this song is that it felt less like a debut song and more like a comeback song. we love you viviz.

7. good boy gone bad - txt

i had to pretend like i didnt get it on the 1st-and-a-half listen bcuz i was still very much in my txt anti era. but now im normal so i can appreciate what this song means to me ❤

6. jikjin - treasure

why were so many people pretending like they didnt fuck heavy with this song. perhaps broaden your mindset like. [korean korean] jikjiiiiiiinnnn woooooooooooooo. anw it feels like pop rocks to my brain and in the best way possible so its here.

TOP 5. These were the objectively best releases of 2022!

5. last sequence - wjsn

thats gay clubbing music baby! something about this song feels so... not 2022. more like i opened a time portal and went back to mid-2017. idk why. but i love that vibe.

4. shut down - blackpink

the lyrics, production, that violin, everything about this song was an instant hit. no im not just saying that because blackpink was my first group. their comeback this year ate and served cunt severely. we love you blackpink.

3. 2 baddies - nct 127

i like thot music! the way ppl complained about it was so 😭😭 its an nct song what were you expecting. shut up. you either rock with it or you dont. like the song was made BY baddies FOR baddies. so if it isnt hitting...

2. pop! - nayeon

ms. im nayeon put the POP in kPOP with tjis song! and it was her SOLO DEBUT? PLEASEEEEEEE........ i love the girly cutesy bubblegum-y fun of this one. so. so. so. much. like everything about it SO iconic. she not only solidified herself as a capable soloist but as a pop princess too!

1. brand new - xiumin

are you surprised? im an exol after all! but fr this song had me GAGGED since the mv TEASER dropped! everything about it is so good, the beat, the lyrics, the vocals... everything! when it comes down to the mv minseok had $10 and a dream but he still made it work. that song was MADE to be a hit!! when i heard it i knew NOTHING ELSE released this year was gonna top it!

very honorable mentions that didnt make the list for lack of space :( (imagine they are in 2nd place with pop by nayeon)

i don't even mind - chen, invu - taeyeon, hurdle - suho, feel my rhythm - rv, candy - nct dream, gasoline - key, gingamingayo - billlie, loveade - viviz, dreamers - jungkook 🤪,after like - ive

[bisluthq]

Could you explain to me why Dress has gay connotations? I just don’t see it, and it’s been years now.

Yes I can, because that was the song that lead me down this path of sin and insanity. The year was 2017. With more marbles and brain cells and far less COVID, I sat down to listen to the album Reputation. Perhaps I poured a glass of wine first. I don’t recall. I was but a more or less normal, very casual fan who had for many years enjoyed mocking Taylor for her messy ass personal life, supposed hyperconfessionalism and regular PR kerfuffles. One of my best friends and then roommate used to, as I’ve told y’all before, blast Blank Space as a chaos anthem every time we went out. Fundamentally, though I was too cool for Taylor Swift. I was listening for like... general pop culture knowledge because my brain is a treasure trove of entertainment tidbits and gossip. I got through almost the whole album and then I heard the song Dress and I said, “what the fuck did I just listen to?” And I replayed it and I went, “Damn Blank Space. That was gay.”

And that was the fateful day I came to believe in 2+ muses, Gaylor and, I guess, Kaylor as well because my (albeit surface level but even if I’d dug) Googling brought me mostly to supermodel Karlie Kloss’s door.

So why is this song so gay? I’m not even gonna give y’all the Kaylor reading today we’re literally gonna time capsule to 2017 before I knew any of this shit and when the only thing I knew was THIS SONG WAS GAY.

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

Okay so they’re out and about. What secret moments? Like looks and stuff? I mean bold of her to assume nobody knows it’s pretty easy to convince people hets are fucking especially if they’re giving each other meaningful looks and shit. Idk like people whisper and gossip about hets just looking at one another all the time. This seems like she’s a bit overconfident in their sneakiness.

There is an indentation

In the shape of you

Made your mark on me

A golden tattoo

Right so whatever is happening between the speaker and the subject of the song has had an impact on her. This isn’t a thirst anthem. Like the secret moments aren’t because they’re just... looking at one another respectfully and kinda doing that “your place or mine” telepathic conversation. No, Tay’s body has a mark, an indentation from the shape of her lover’s body and the whole thing is a golden tattoo - temporary and removable, presumably, shiny and glittery, but visible to the naked eye. So shit’s already gone down. Friends with benefits maybe?

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

Nah, not simply friends with benefits. This is forbidden, right? Taylor can’t touch her lover. All they have are these secret stolen looks in the crowded room that absolutely nobody can tell mean anything. That... sounds like “gal pals” to lil gay me. Like she can’t touch her lover because it’ll be too obvious but as long as they don’t touch it won’t seem sexual at all. It’s not just that they’re friends and nobody knows there’s more going on, because why can’t they be friendly then? Why are they sharing secret moments but they can’t come close to the point where her hands are literally shaking from staying away? Why can’t she do that good old link arms with her good guy friend especially if they’re out and tipsy? And then it ends off with orgasm noises because... it’s this song so of course it does.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off (ha, ha, ha)

More nails in the coffin of “friends with benefits” and people just don’t know. This person saying her name makes her world stop. This ties into the forbidden vibe but it’s also so innocuous that it does fuck with the “we’re just friends with benefits but I want more” interpretation that a hetsplanation would require. Like this is clearly a lot more. It’s already a lot more. It’s not that she just wants more, this girlie is gone.

And then we get to my gayest line: “I don’t want you like a best friend.” Now I get saying you don’t want to be “just friends” with a guy. I also do get being best friends with a guy. One of my irl besties is Blank Space Chaos Anthem girlie and the other is a (mostly) straight dude. I also have other straight dude friends like my mate who I was trying to rescue from accidentally having to marry a converting girl a few years back. I’m like a (woke) straight dude whisperer tbh because being friends with me is a big win for their woke credibility and let’s be real I’m 1) irreverent and great fun and 2) give great advice on girls.

Now I can guarantee you my proposition to fucking any of my dude friends from besties to casuals would not be “I don’t want you like a best friend.” They’d be like, “my bitch wut? Are you with Pothead YouTube Ex again? Tell her BE GONE WITCH!” And sure, maybe that’s just me. But if was already fucking a dude I can guarantee you the words “I don’t want you like a best friend” would not exit my mouth. It’s not “I don’t want to be friends” or “I don’t only want to be friends” she says “I don’t want you like a best friend.” The implication is there’s an appropriate way to “want” a friend and the way she wants the person she’s speaking to is not like that. It’s a similie, she’s comparing the subject of the song to a best friend and saying this is not like that. Now, explain to me why that level of clarification is important in a fwb setup? You’re trying to make it more serious, I get it. You don’t want to be “just” friends with benefits (and we know they’re already fucking) I get that too. But why the similie?

Why would a dude you’re fucking ever misunderstand and think you want him like a best friend?

Carve your name into my bedpost

Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off (ha, ha, ha)

I mean again, if we needed clarity on why this is a sex anthem it’s the first line of this song. And she’s saying “have sex with me because I don’t want you like a best friend” again, they’ve already fucked that was established in the first verse. Why would this be stuff you clarify with a dude? Why would a man who is fucking you get the wrong impression and assume you want to be best friends? Not friends. Best friends. Why would he think that?

And then we get the dress line. Now, I know some people are like “I dress up for my boyfriend!” and sure. But let’s all be honest. 85%+ of the time girls of any sexual orientation wear outfits out - and we established this is an out type situation - it’s for other girls to notice their fashion. Come on, you’re not expecting your dude friend to be like, “nice dress, where’d you buy it?” “Oh, this? Hahaha it’s just Zara, they were having a sale. If you hurry you might get one too!” Like there’s something inherently sapphic/feminine about discussions of buying clothing. And come on, fellow queer ladies, clothes is a great way to get a chat going.

In this song, Taylor draws attention to this feminine article of clothing she bought to wear on the night in question and instead of saying “it’s Zara” she goes “I only bought it so you could take it off” - I’m doing an eyebrow wiggle but you can’t see because I’m just text on your screen. Why would you say that to a guy? Like if you did, if you’re that girl why are you holding back from him? Y’all are fucking and you have a massive thing for him. Surely he should know by now? Why is this dress even featuring in the conversation? Like I say bringing up a dress you bought in a conversation about sex feels pretty fucking gay. It’s either a really bizarre and kinda desperate flex which doesn’t really match the sexiness of the song or... it’s gay.

Inescapable

I'm not even going to try

Girl you’ve fucked why is there a point of trying at this stage? Unless you... can’t do this or it feels in some way wrong?

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

Why the I/we split? Like why is only one of them burned if they were electrified? Sure maybe it’s a fwb thing and he can turn her down for more than sex and friendship but it sounds more like - given the best friends - this is her female friend and she’s maybe uncertain of the other woman’s feelings. This feels - and again we’re not doing a Tay’s personal life reading here - like one of them can be fully destroyed by this but despite that reality they are both lit up and hurt in the process.

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

I mean this isn’t inherently gay it’s just sexy, get it Tay. This sounds hot.

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

What do they know about you? Like again we’re not doing the Tay reading thing but like what’s the sekrit? She’s fucking her friend? Why don’t they know anything about this? Surely they can imagine it’s a possibility? Like however unlikely, why does nobody know anything about this?

The next chorus is the same as the one above and I still have no hetsplanation for it. Like especially in the broader context of this, again, very gay song.

Then we get a very straight bridge. It’s like it’s from a different song or was written much later:

Flashback when you met me

Your buzz cut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this

Aha, ha, ha, ha

Okay but this is a completely different vibe to the... entire song. The rest of the song was about the other person not being sure and that being the issue. “I don’t want you like a best friend.” So why: “I woke up just in time”? Like “if I get burned at least we were electrified” but then... “I woke up just in time” - is the rest of the song like a weird nightmare? That’s not, to me, enough of an explanation. She spends the whole song in sexy anxiety pining after someone who cares about where and why she bought her dress and then she’s like “you’re everything to me” - it doesn’t make sense.

The rest of the song is the chorus again. As I’ve said, I don’t see a hetsplanation for it.

This is a gay song. The bridge isn’t and the line about the bathtub isn’t inherently. But the rest of this song is gay af.

[fizzingwizard]

I could cry y’all. Episode 37 was SO GOOD. So good!! It truly felt like a Mimi episode, and it truly felt like Digimon Adventure, in multiple ways. It’s seriously fantastic!

I feel at once super duper relieved that this show is, really and truly, capable of this time of episode, and also super duper confused why, if it could do this, it hasn’t been doing it the whole time??

Anyway, we’ve now had four or five solid episodes in a row, so I’m letting myself feel hopeful again!

This episode is called “Mimi Wars,” but I feel it might be more aptly titled “Sailor Mimi”

In the name of employee rights, I will punish you!

More below!

Okay... so as I was watching this episode, I really got the feeling that they were parodying something again. Like last we had a Mimi episode - far far away in the distant past though it was - when they very obviously parodied Castle in the Sky. That’s twice now Mimi’s been compared with a girl with twin tails, Usagi’s pigtails and Sheeta’s braids xD

Although the poses Mimi uses aren’t exact replicas of Usagi’s, though, so maybe I’m wrong. I got the Usagi vibe from her personality even more, so maybe using the poses would have been considered copyright infringement and so they had to change them a little. Or, maybe Mimi is parodying someone else who also uses dramatic hand movements and talks a lot about justice in spite of being generally clueless...

See the resemblance? XD

But what I REALLY think is going on is, they’re spoofing the genre in general, while also taking it seriously. That’s important. It’s not just a joke here. This is the girl power episode, in a way, and in my opinion, it’s a better girl power episode than the fare I got used to growing up, which went more or less like this:

Guy: *does something with good intentions but inept*

Girl: Ugh! Men don’t respect women!

Guy: I’m sorry, what did I do wrong?

Girl: I won’t tell you because feminism! C’mon girlfriends, let’s assert our confidence as women by going on a girls night out shopping spree and making a bunch of random guys stare in awe at us for no clear reason!

Girls: Yes! This is third wave feminism!

... that was more or less the formula. It was... awkward. I’d like to blame on “those episodes were written by men who think all feminists are angry feminists,” but I think if I went and checked who the scriptwriters were, there’d be some women in there for sure.

What we got in THIS episode is something I’d actually want my daughter to see. First off you’ve got Mimi, who loves pink and pretty things and comes across as a real girly girl, not to mention a bit of a ditz. And the show’s straight up, “but just because you have flaws doesn’t mean you can’t grow into a great person. Also, being girly is not incompatible with being a boss.”

Mimi doesn’t need to be a man, nor does she need to be a hard ass, nor does she need to be especially kind and sweet to soften her orders. All she has to do, according to this episode, is care about her craft, care about quality, and care about worker conditions.

I mean... a show where the girl boss wasn’t a Russian spy in a former life?? A show where the girl boss isn’t a Stepford wife who got where she is by marrying rich and funding her perfume company that way? She’s... she’s Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. She gets to be flawed and girly and fun-loving and bossy and ditzy all at the same time. She loves diamonds - but diamonds are no longer a “girl’s best friend.” Rather, Mimi herself is the diamond in the rough!

This actually makes her a really good set with Sora. Sora continues to be both a tomboy and very sisterly. Mimi’s very girly but very bossy. Between the two of them, they can conquer the world. Of course, I don’t know that the show would take it any farther than they already have, but I’m just happy to see this development for Mimi at all. We had it to a degree in 99 Adventure, and Kizuna took it a bit further by making her an entrepreneur. Reboot Mimi is a remix of that for the 21st century.

*deeeeeeeeeep breath*

so... back to our regularly scheduled programming!

As awesome as Mimi is, she’s not the only one who’s great in this episode. The others get to let their real personalities shine, at least. We needed this episode sooooo bad like 20 episodes ago... le sigh.

Anyway, we start off having mad camp, for some reason (why aren’t they just staying on Komondomon?? whatev)

Food! They’re going to get food! They’re splitting up and making a plan in order to get food!!! I still miss the “food desperation” of 99 Adventure but hey, at least they’re acknowledging that they need to eat.

Sora advises Hikari and Takeru not to go too far on their quest and Tailmon swears like a knight of the round table to protect Hikari with her life.

Taichi: Oookay... note to self: don’t piss off little sister’s hotheaded partner...

Taichi adds that they’re also counting on Patamon, who is just thrilled to go off and play with Takeru.

Tailmon: *BIG SIGH*

Lol I really love that they’re bringing back the old Patamon/Tailmon dynamic where she’s all grown up serious and he’s got the priorities of a toddler most of the time... It’s Black Widow and Hawkeye bahahahaha

We even get to see them COLLECT FOOD what did I do to deserve this they are COLLECTING FOOD IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN I REPEAT IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN

Taichi even has to warn Agumon not to eat the food becaues they’re supposed to be gathering it to share ;___; omg... we actually get on screen proof that Agumon is a glutton??

Then Taichi tries to “help” by shaking the tree and the tree falls and they -

BAHAHAHAHAHA

humor!!! Poking fun at Taichi even!! Over food!! Because he has a klutz for a partner!!! And because he himself was overzealous!! ;_; I could die of Cute.

Sora absolutely shocks me this episode too. I expected she’d just watch Taichi and Agumon drift away with their folly while sighing and shrugging her shoulders or something.

NOPE

She jumps DIRECTLY UP and into the water without a moment’s hesitation, like they’re going to die without her - I don’t even know what her plan is here, she seems to want Piyomon to evolve and pull them out, but why does that mean Sora has to be in the water too?

I think her sisterly instincts just freaked out on seeing Taichi looking wet and confused and clinging to a tree trunk so she just did the first thing she could think of which was “Get to him!!”

Piyomon then fails to evolve, reason unclear, I suppose she’s hungry... they never do eat though so I’m not sure why she can evolve later xD (probably they eat off screen)

But I mean I just love that we got this bit with Sora. I call it freaking out but she doesn’t seem freaked out - she stays calm and seems decisive and takes action - all good things. It’s just hard to understand her thought process xD But it’s all good info about Sora. (again stuff we needed more of AGES ago)

Now I had thought this was all just a funny bit that was separate to the main story, but this is how Taichi and Sora end up washed up in the rocky area Mimi is. This does mean Koushirou, Takeru, and Hikari aren’t much in the rest of the episode, sadly. Not sure why but the reboot does seem to struggle with writing episodes for the whole group.

Like last week, I’m somewhat miffed that, in the end, the main group finds the stragglers instead of the other way around. It’s even worse this time because at least last episode Koushirou told them where he was and they had a reason to go there. This time they have no idea Mimi’s gonna be there and it’s all a big coincidence. On the other hand... I do think Mimi was born under a lucky star, so that explains it. :P

Taichi and Sora suddenly find them selves trapped Gulliver’s Travels style and they’re both immediately like, “Hmm... something about this situation seems very familiar...”

Taichi and Sora: Oh that’s RIGHT we totally forgot that the pink cowgirl we hand out with is also TOTALLY BATSHIT

D’awww. Our future overlord is just so adorable, I don’t even mind when she flogs us in the street

TBH, up till now they’ve woefully underestimated just how batshit she is. And it’s wonderful.

So Mimi has happened upon some poor, disenfranchised Digimon who are being forced to work for an evil boss who collects the beautiful gems that grow in this area. Like in 99 Adventure, Mimi will have none of this sort of crap. Her reasons, though, have evolved with the times:

omg... she voted for Bernie Sanders!

This is how Harry and Ron reacted when Hermione said she was starting a house-elf welfare organization called SPEW.

Though I joke - like I said before, even though Taichi and Sora are rather mind-boggled by Mimi’s mood swings and fits of passion, and there’s definitely humor there, Mimi herself is not a joke here. We are shown strongly that, however in the clouds her head might be, her heart is not only in the place, it’s also already internalized the fact that people don’t always get treated well in the real world and it’s up to those with power to ensure that are protected.

I mean. At this point, I’m going, “Sorry but ISN’T MIMI THE REAL LEADER IN THIS SHOW?!?!”

Of course she does have another, less lofty motivation... she really likes pretty stones.

Buhahahaha.

Mimi’s names are as creative as they are incredible, just like her. Taichi and Sora have trouble keying in with Mimi due to how changeable she is, but they never talk badly about her or reject her. They never try to wrest leadership from her either! Taichi might think Mimi’s names for the stones are over the top, but sort of sidesteps it and just goes along with her plan.

Reason #14567876867867 why I love Yagami Taichi: when someone else is the leader, he can be a follower. And he’ll be the BEST follower. Keep reading to see why.

The story of how Mimi befriended the enslaved rock Digimon here is pretty much how Goku became besties with Vegeta.

Men communicate their hearts through their fists! Or swords, depending on the anime. ANOTHER AWESOME SUBVERSIVE MOMENT FOR MIMI - she’s now even got cliche shonen hero tropes assigned to her!

Taichi and Sora, like I said, don’t try to change Mimi’s mind - they’re actually touched by her strong feelings about workers’ rights and her desire to help her new friends -

Taichi: Wait... what?

Sora: Well, she’s still a ten year old girl.

The rock Digimon show their allegiance to Princess CEO Mimi. They don’t even mind having their names and identities stripped away and being reduced to numbers on an Excel spreadsheet...

Taichi: I hate Excel.

Sora: I do too, but I’m more impressed that she remembers the numbers she gave us back in episode 6.

Taichi: Impressed? More like filled with a sense of impending doom

Only Taichi seems to understand Mimi’s unique power bahahaha.

But back to what I said earlier, about Mimi being the real leader: I don’t know if the show’s gonna keep doing anything with this at all, but I really like that they didn’t NOT do this in order to ensure Taichi’s the only leader. (I mean, Yamato’s so far not made much of a bid for leadership so he’s been pretty uncontested thus far. He also hasn’t had to do all that much leading given how often the group is separated... but I digress)

I love the idea that Taichi can step back and let someone else take the reins when they’re best suited. Which Mimi is, due to her easy ability to make friends and gain trust. Mimi had this ability in 99 as well and it was used in the final battle to muster the troops, so to speak. It ought to have been a bigger deal but wasn’t since she missed most of the final battle :/ But I loved that “social, able to make friends” wasn’t some stupid “Girls talk too much” trait, it was actually something that was useful. This is a great place to take that with the reboot.

At the same time, while Mimi and Taichi both have similar leadership traits, there are places they diverge that potentially make them leaders for different situations. Taichi’s pretty cool and strategic even in emergencies. He was more of a hothead in 99, but Mimi’s always been quick to anger. (And quick to cool down.) As we’ll see in this episode, that’s sort of where Taichi’s true ability lies: he’s serious, determined, strategic, and reliable as well as brave. But this is Mimi’s episode, and Taichi isn’t going to get to be the hero anymore than he (almost) was last week with Koushirou. Because more than one character can have positive leadership traits! Hallelujah.

Quick nip over to Komondomon and the others - Koushirou’s group is going to try to find them, but Komondomon falls asleep. Oh noes. I wish someone (Koushirou) would ask, out loud, “Gee, what are these strange symbols that appear when we communicate via digivice? Do they mean something? How were they assigned?” I really thought we’d get a hint what with all the conveniently colorful gemstones this episode, but still nope.

My girl looking like a BAMF!

Mimi explains her plan to her servants employees. She is surprisingly artistic!

Sora plays the role of bait to create a diversion while Greymon digs a tunnel to get to where the gems are stored. Mimi congratulates herself on a job well done.

Taichi: A job well done? Who d’you think has been doing the work here?

Greymon: That would be me.

Taichi: Right, right I was going to say you >.>;

So we do see bits of Mimi’s self-centered side as well - she’s not perfect, but who is? Taichi just lives with it. Mwehehehe.

... will be fired! LMAO

No. 72 is Taichi, btw. Mimi gave up calling people by their names for Lent.

Taichi: Lent’s not for over a month.

Mimi: It’s never too early for religious sacrifice.

Taichi: And you’re not Catholic.

Mimi: I celebrate Mardi Gras.

Taichi: yOU JUST LIKE THE COSTUMES AND KING CAKE

He’s miffed and he.... just lives with it. Again. xD

It’s hilarious. And adorable. I love both that 1) Mimi is an awesome boss while being, in fact, rather bossy, and that 2) in spite of being a boss type himself, Taichi not only listens to Mimi, but he totally indulges her like he’s her older brother or something x’D He wouldn’t be out of line for saying “I have a name you know!” On the other hand, I guess he knows her well enough to understand that she doesn’t mean anything by it, and... there’s no stopping her when she gets like this :P

Feel the wrath of Tachikawa Mimi!!!

So Mimi’s plan has worked so far, and she’s got everyone listening to her despite her questionable business practices, and then she... suddenly rushes off in another direction.

Taichi: That’s it, I am through being her personal assistant if she’s just going to change the plan on a whim!

Taichi: ... I don’t want to see her get hurt or be sad though...

Greymon understands Taichi’s heart ;___; and enables him to go after Mimi. I don’t really get why it’s wise to split up given that Taichi can’t fight big rock Digimon without his partner... x’D So I’m going to chalk this up to, Greymon understands that Taichi is, at his core, the team Dad. He’s got to be allowed to worry and check up on the kids, even when it’s not so advisable. Awwwwwwwww.

Indeed, Taichi doesn’t get to be the hero this ep, but small moments like this give us waaaay more character development than always being the hero!

Fortunately Mimi does have her own partner and she’s not afraid of the enemy’s rock hard abs. :P

They make it into the storage center for all the gems. IT’S SO COLORFUL. Ten year old men is squeeing just like Mimi.

Come on!! She’s holding yellow/orange topaz and purple amethyst! It could be the material for Taichi or Takeru’s and Koushirou’s crests! (I always liked fire opal for Taichi though xD)

Taichi’s been promomted!! To chief pack animal x’D Just because it’s a cool name doesn’t mean that’s what the job is, Meems.

Taichi’s just like, “I think I’m too young for that position.” Bahahaha.

He’s going to be carrying her books to school before long.

Then something big and hard hits Taichi in the head!! He freaking starts to cry, it hurts so bad!!

Taichi: Owww! Omg I think I got a concussion from that! Help someone call an ambulance!

He was hit in the head by a diamond, which Mimi loves. So she goes off on a monologue about how much she likes diamonds. She never asks him if he’s okay x’D

Taichi: Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, not that you asked or anything.

Mimi: Please, everyone knows your head is already harder than diamonds.

Taichi: ...

The pile of gems looks like Fruity Pebbles. Mmmmm

It turns out the mastermind of this whole operation is Gogmamon, who is the bastard child of Gogmagog I assume :P He eats the gemstones as well as Gotsumon for power. He then produces the diamonds?? I didn’t quite understand if he was spitting out the diamonds because he didn’t like them, or he was creating them inside him when eating and then spitting them out like... diamond turds...

...

they’re diamond turds aren’t they >__>

Mimi is not interested in big business bulldozing the mom and pop shops and small upstarts. And she hates sweatshops! She is pro-Fair Trade all the way! And she will yell it in your face!

Taichi: It’s the yelling part that I’m having trouble with.

Mimi: A good speech from the boss is what keeps up employee morale!

Taichi: Yeah, that’s less true when the boss is about to be gobbled up herself...

Golemon and Togemon try to fight Gogmamon and this results in Golemon falling to pieces.

Taichi: Are you okay?

Golemon: My HEAD was knocked off, but sure I’m doing JUST FINE -____- little brat

Taichi stands protectively in front of Golemon’s head. Lol. He’s thinking of strategies... perhaps regretting rushing after Mimi and leaving his own partner behind...

Mimi joins him and Gogmamon finds her a formidable opponent in the war of words. Gogmamon argues that all the rocks, all the Digimon, everything here belongs to him and him alone! And Mimi brilliantly counters with:

“Fuck that! They belong to ME!”

x’D He just like... under his breath... “she admits that’s how she thinks of us...” hahahaha... I laughed out loud...

It might not be 3D but this is an excellent evolution sequence xD I haven’t said so yet but the animation in this episode was good! Good for the show anyway. It was smoother than usual despite some mechanical-like mouth movements and more than that, it had character and expression!

okay important question everyone: Taichi = Kermit, Mimi = Miss Piggy... discuss??

So Gogmamon has a pretty cool-sounding attack, ���Curse Reflection.” I have often complained that the villains we fight and get new evolutions with aren’t that scary, but Gogmamon not only seemed pretty formidable (if not the smart, I mean he does have rocks for a brain), he also had a good story build up. My one disappointment in this episode is that the ending is so fast and Gogmamon so easily dealt with. This would have been a good time to introduce Rosemon (like how last week would have been an appropriate time for HerculesKabuterimon). But in both cases, we’re definitely supposed to take away at least that these guys are almost there... Anyway yeah, I would have liked a tiny bit more meant to the resolution but.

So here’s ANOTHER cool thing! Taichi notices that Gogmamon rejects the diamonds, and realizes they’re the key to defeating him. But he doesn’t just tell that to Mimi. He asks her “Did you see that?” And guess what - she did!

So even though the show couldn’t resist telling us that yes, Taichi would have been able to handle this situation - it doesn’t even let him give Mimi a hint towards victory. She figures it out for herself! The most we can say he does is point out the diamond, but she understands the implication and is able to use it against Gogmamon through her own intellect.

TAICHI DOESN’T MANSPLAIN Y’ALL. HE’S NOT A MANSPLAINER. HALLELUJAH AND PAST THE PEAS!!

Mimi is very influenced by her hardworking, CEO grandpa, Tachikawa Genichiro, who’s taught her things about business and things about values, and it really reads as if she’s the one who will inherit the family business - like she’s the family investment. You know, the role that traditionally only falls to sons. That’s changed with the world, and apparently Tachikawa Genichiro-jiisan is totally on board with his granddaughter being more than just a pretty heiress!

... btw what are they making...

“You’re fired!” Mimi yells as Lillymon takes Gogmamon down x’D kill me I love it

Like last time (and it sure was a long time ago that we saw it ;_;), the aftereffects of Lillymon’s powers is plants start growing everywhere. This is such a cool effect, I don’t get why it’s not used more. Right now I feel like Mimi/Palmon are the best set in the show.

(I did think it was funny when Mimi gives the diamond to Lillymon to use against Gogmamon and Lillymon acts like Mimi’s making this huge sacrifice since she loves diamonds so much. But 1) it wasn’t the only one, and 2) they were spat out by Gogmamo! that’s gross! that’s got to cut into the value! hahah)

The others finally catch up and the day is saved. Golemon is an employee for life now. Awww.

AWWWWWW.

I gushed about all this before so I won’t repeat myself, but yeah, I’m so happy with this episode.

Lol Sora and Taichi have accepted their places in Mimi’s world, in the end. They might have numbers instead of names and their boss might change her mind about things every five seconds, but other than that it’s a pretty nice gig overall.

Again the art, so sweet. This reminded me of Miyako yelling to Mimi about how she wants to be like her when she grows up in 02 so I capped it.

And I absolutely love this little play on words since it’s in English! Wow!

SO CUTE. How did a Mimi episode kick every other episode out of the water? Scratch that, we always knew Mimi was fantastic. A shojo hero for the 21st century.

Well I said a ton and this is really long now so I’m gonna assume you all get my thoughts on this episode. 9.5/10, really awesome, totally unexpected but perfectly suted to Mimi. I’m so so happy this show seems to have figured things out and remebered that it’s supposed to be freaking Digimon Adventure, it seemed like it forgot for a while there. I just hope we haven’t wasted too much time on those more lackluster episodes, I want so many more stories like this one.

Next week looks like another winner:

OK, that concept is hilarious x’D I’m so sorry. But also, leave it to Yamato and Gabumon to get the tragedy episode.

The mood maker will be this guy! I’m totally psyched for Yamato and Jou. Taichi’s been important in the past two episodes even though they were centered on Koushirou and Mimi, so I wonder if/when he’ll be involved this time? Or maybe it really will be just Yamato and Jou - my dream combo?? I can’t wait either way.

DID NOT CHECK FOR TYPOS! See y’all next week.

[delusionland]

STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?

What was their first impression of each other?

steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?

What was their first kiss like?

it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.

Who gets jealous easier?

cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

CASS CASS CASS.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.

What are their primary love languages?

TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

they both do they’re TERRIBLE.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!

Who initiates kisses?

cass!

Who’s the big and little spoon?

cass is big spoon!

What are their favorite things to do together?

they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

cass is.

Who’s more protective?

CASS IS.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical affection.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

jenny - studio killers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.

Who remembers the little things?

STEPH.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.

Do they have any pets?

so many cats. a million cats.

Who’s the stricter parent?

cass.

Who worries the most?

steph.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

cass.

How do they celebrate holidays?

they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

cass! no school! just cuddles!

Who’s the better cook?

steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.

Who likes to dance?

cass most of all!

[tessarichardss]

new york’s very own tessa richards was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to zoey deutch ! you may know them as @tessarichards or hitting the front page of tmz as ex-reality star rumored to have moved to new york for an internship with hassenfeld children’s hospital . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also tenderhearted . things that would paint a better picture of you would be endless nights you’ll never forget, sunflowers, running barefoot through an open field . ( cisfemale + she/her  ) +  (  saxon , twenty-six , she/her , cst )

Out Of Character

Hello bbies! 🥰 My name is Saxon and I’d like you to meet the absolute labor of my love Tessa and love her even though she doesn’t deserve it! We are always open for connections, ideas or plots so please, please, please do not hesitate to hit me up if you want to conjure something up with this lovable and ridiculous energetic puppy. I look forward to roleplaying with you and your children!

Basic Information

Full Name: Tessa Grace Richards.

Nickname(s): Tess.

Birthday: Febuary 10th, 1996. 

Orientation: Heterosexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, Spanish.

Background

So Tessa was born to an unwed couple who were in their mid 30′s at the time, her mom thought the two of them were hopelessly in love until Tessa was four and dude just dipped? Her mom came home one day and all his stuff was gone, no note or anything, he drained their account and they haven’t ever heard from him since.

This obviously fucked Tessa up young because she has mad issues with love meaning anything and also abandonment, like she definitely doesn’t sleep well at night because she spent years waking up and running to the window every time she saw car lights, thinking it was him coming home.

Her mom is an absolute saint of a woman however (think Lorelai from Gilmore Girls meets Donna  Sheridan from Mamma Mia), just an absolute quirky angel of a woman who definitely took in and helped abandoned animals but was also the place all the kids in town knew they could go if they had shitty parents/living situations or just a bad day and they needed a safe place to go? So obviously she stepped up and took down all dudes pictures and just raised Tessa like the single boss she is.

Tessa grew up into like an angel of a kid but oh buddy was she a chaotic one. Total tomboy, full of insane energy and personality, always on the move and exploring and doing things she shouldn’t be. Definitely the type to show up back at home as the suns going down just covered in dirt and bumps and bruises. 100% knocked her own baby teeth out from falling and slamming her face and had two front silver teeth as a little kid.

She was never very girly and because she grew up in this southern town that was just full of very critical asshole kids from more well-off families than her own was, particularly the girls who were very prissy, she definitely ended up clicking more with boys and quickly became ‘one of the guys’. Like undoubtedly had an all male friend group and was definitely the girl that girlfriends would be paranoid about while all the dudes were like confused as to how their girls were jealous because Tessa was just like another guy/little sibling, there was no interest on either end.

She had two shitty relationships as a teenager, the first cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to have sex and then the second whom she actually gave it up to, turned out to just be with her on a bet to see how long it would take him to get in her pants? She ended up punching dude in the face when she found out and broke his nose and asshole’s family actually wanted to press charges until Mama Richards shut the shit down.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT MENTION Has slight anger management issues? Like she’s chill but when she blows up man does she blow up. Pushed a girl down a flight of stairs at school after she made a remark about a friend who had tried to commit suicide, the family did press charges this time and Tessa had to go to anger management classes and serve community service hours. She also got kicked out of school and just decided not to go back, went online and just got her GED at seventeen instead.

She was (and still is) very close and attached to her mom, absolute most important person in her life, but she worried about her so much her mom realized she probably wasn’t ever planning on leaving? So her mom got the help of her friends and they actually filled out an application for her to go onto a reality tv show? Seems crazy but each season took place in a different part of the world and her mom knew she wanted to travel but would never make the decision herself so when she got cast her mom was just like “lol here you go bye now��.

She hated it at first because she had grown so used to Texas and the country and her friends and making sure her mom was okay that it gave her a lot of anxiety and stress but she actually fell in love with it? Made a lot of close friends, became a fan favorite of sorts and would you believe it, the dumbass fell in love.

This boy wormed his way into her heart and it was a kind of a slightly unstable relationship because she would try and push away from him and her feelings but he always drew her back? He even proposed after like months of them being together and she panicked and ran but still he drew her back and they agreed that they should chill with the idea of engagement/marriage? He ended up leaving the show after like their fourth messy break up? And she, would you believe it, followed. The two ended up sleeping together but she was overly aware of the fact that he wasn’t actually in love with her anymore so she saved herself any awkward conversation and further heartbreak by just dipping before he woke up. 

After this, Tessa returned to Texas and spent a solid week just out partying and drinking with friends and suddenly - BAM, she was having a one night stand with a complete stranger which was rather out of pocket for her and then even more suddenly - BAM, a pregnancy with no clue as to who the child’s father was. Thankfully it ended up being the one night stand’s and he turned out to be an incredible guy and father.

Obviously she never returned to the show and focused instead on becoming a mother and setting up a future for herself and her child.

She’s always been a big fan of kids (worked for a daycare after school, actually helped start up a charity that works with orphans/orphanages while on the show) and so she decided that she wanted to be a child life specialist and started attending school during her pregnancy and the two years that followed.

She ended up having a little girl named Addison, this child is her whole world and she’s 1000% the mom that posts about their kid too much on social media but she’s 100% turned Tessa’s life around and helped her mature in ways she wouldn’t have without her and she just loves her kid more than anything/anyone else. 

She assumed her life would remain in Texas until a trip to New York a few months back to visit Alex Morgan (who remarked on the fact that she should move in) ended with her packing up her daughter and her bags within less than a month and landing her in the state for the foreseeable future. 

She’s currently continuing her last year of school through online classes in order to get her bachelors while interning at the Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital. 

Personality

A dork? Literally the biggest dork, the dorkiest of dorks, just a whole friggen dork. This child rambles like you wouldn’t believe and her mouth 100% works faster than her brain so like you never know what to expect but she’s just a happy, friendly, sarcastic little bean with social anxiety and a heart of gold tbh.

Also an aggressive lil’ lady though, like 12/10 chance she’ll throw hands if you want to fuck with or say something about the people she loves.

A chaotic soul as well like down to party and have a good time and will definitely drink a dude under the table, definitely broke her ribs two summers in a row from a drinking game because this child doesn’t know when to slow down or chill out, she’s just trying to live.

Emotional as hell, like definitely cries during commercials and Disney movies, but like if you’re trying to tap into her serious emotions she’s gonna shut that shit down. She keeps people locked out tbh and just jokes about the serious shit in her life if she does talk about it.

Desired Connections

Friends? This is tricky because she was basically in Texas for most of her life and then traveling? But someone who lived in/visited Texas and they met? Someone she met while filming the show in some random country - they were living there or traveling and met while she was out and about one day? Maybe someone she met through her charity work? Someone who has a kid or a younger sibling/niece/nephew/godchild who she took care of at the hospital or even on a home visit and they met her/know her that way?

Exes? So her most recent ex is off limits because it’s based off a real connection but like either of her exes from high school? The first one would have had to have lived in Texas for some time but the latter could have been visiting friends/family for a summer? If anyone has a character that works for these I’m down for the drama, especially the second because Tessa is fully ready to break dude’s nose again.

Half siblings? So Tessa’s dad basically bailed when she was little - maybe he had another family? Could have had a kid before her who he also bailed on, could have started a family during the same time or after, he could have stayed there for them or bailed on them as well? They could know about Tessa, or neither could know about the other? Tessa pry wouldn’t know about them because she made it a point to never bother searching for this man let alone any family but literally I’m down for whatever other ideas you’ve got on this one!

Honestly Tessa needs some guy friends! Like I said she’s always been very much more one of the guys - would rather be drinking a beer watching a sports game and yelling than going on a shopping spree okay she has 0 interest, and since she moved from home she needs a new guy group to cause trouble with but also, who makes a better wing woman than a girl okay? Chaos friend but also mom friend rolled into one because she will get involved in shenanigans but will also call you out for acting dumb too.

Also here’s some open, wanted musing connection ideas; https://tessarichardsmusings.tumblr.com/tagged/tessa-%2B-open

Pinterest

[atopearth]

Ikemen Revolution Part 13 - Seth Hyde Route

Seth is like the type of girl friend the heroine needs in Cradle lol. Honestly, I'm not into Seth at all, but I do think it's cute how the heroine can enjoy crepes together with him and be so comfortable with him haha. Honestly, I kinda wanted the heroine to fall in love with Seth for the "girly" parts of him that make her so comfortable to show that love can be as simple as finding someone you're really comfortable with, but it seems like the route is taking more of the idea of the heroine falling for Seth because he exhibits "manly" qualities every now and then and it makes her heart flutter realising how different and cool he can be when he switches "modes" I guess. And she only really gets excited to see that part of him so yeah... It's kinda disappointing for now but I'll roll with it and see.

I'm also really surprised how the heroine is so into Seth already, like dang, can't relate lolll. Lmao at Seth really having to be her knight in shining armour for everything though, it's kinda cute how fast Seth comes when something happens to her🤣 Anyway, Seth really feels like a yandere type when he's trying to protect her from everything and doesn't want any guy ogling her and telling her to stay innocent and not get into dangerous stuff lol. Well dang, I didn't expect Seth to be so forward and full go into predator mode giving her a hickey to "keep the wolves away" lol. I mean sure it's nice that she doesn't want to only be protected by them and wants to do something as well, and that makes him happy to see how strong she is, but whoa he's like totally into her lol. I honestly find it pretty random how much the heroine wanted more from him though, like dang girl, how long have you guys met lol, to be fair though, she finds him sexy and sensual but I don't so I guess that makes a difference haha. I personally also think it's inappropriate for Seth to do something like that to her when he's supposed to be her guard and stuff, and she's still so confused about the world and stuff but yeah.. whatever rolls with the heroine I guess... I'm also not sure if I feel her "undeniable chemistry" with Seth because all he did was make moves on her (quite inappropriately imo since I feel like they barely know each other) and she liked it and that's all lol. Aside from their first outing that seemed really nice and fun where they got along well, I honestly don't feel like they've done anything to warrant how much they're supposedly into each other right now lol. However, I do enjoy how encouraging Seth is and how supportive he is when the heroine feels doubt in her capabilities of protecting people with her powers.

Honestly, at this point it feels more like Seth is seducing her to use her than actually liking her tbh lol. Anyway, I find it hilarious how they had a full on intense kiss session, and the heroine now talks about it a day or two later saying now she knows what that kiss means to her and why she really wants to know how Seth feels about her, like okay, I'm pretty sure she was going on about him for ages before that happened, and when the kiss happened, she loved it so much lol. However, I honestly don't buy the heroine saying it's love and not just physical attraction, every time she's "into" Seth, it's something physical lol. Anyway, I personally find this route really boring right now because I just feel like the heroine is so thirsty for Seth for no real reason lol. Like, it's admirable for her to voice that she likes him and wants him sexually as well but seriously, I don't think she knows anything about him, but then again, it doesn't seem like she really cares because she's like satisfying her desires with him first and then maybe find out more about him after lol. I guess for me, I don't really understand such fervent desire/lust so it's hard to relate and it doesn't help that the heroine is mainly thinking how sexy Seth is with anything and everything he does when I just get turned off by most of the stuff he does lol. To be fair though, I can kinda see why Seth was smitten with her, since her obsession with him makes her willing to accept everything about him and do her best to bring him back from the abyss instead of falling down with him. 

Anyway, it's sad to know that Seth seems to be doing the bidding of the Tower so he can protect his little sister, and I guess the heroine was the only light he had ever found... On another note, the heroine was really frustrating when she followed Loki to Blanc's place without even writing a simple note or something that she was going somewhere. They're in a war right now!! And they still had to go around wasting their time looking for her when she was just looking for Seth like seriously, I would be so mad at her. The Black Army are way too nice to her. Anyway, I also personally find it silly that Seth says the heroine is similar to his sister but it's not until the flashbacks now that they kinda tell us why they're similar, before that, it might as well have been just because they're both girls lol. Anyway, Nodisha talking like Seth is pretty funny lol. Awww, I find it really sweet how Seth changed his mannerisms and how he talked and everything just so he could be a good role model for Nodisha since she's stuck in a room in the Magic Tower by herself. Not sure if this way of talking is the best for her but at least he tried his best haha.

Anyway, I know this route is pretty dramatic and has the feel where love conquers all, but the heroine is honestly so irresponsible when it comes to everything else aside from Seth. Like she already made the Black Army worried before when she randomly disappeared, but now even amidst the war, during battle, she runs off to find Seth. Like yes, we know that's her first priority and she loves him blah blah, but not only did she nearly get herself killed or captured by the Red Army, but even after reuniting with Seth, she's so focused on him, she couldn't care less about the chaos surrounding everyone else. Anyway, I just get so annoyed because she says she understands her importance and always selfishly asks Ray and them to let her go to battle and everything, but she never fully follows through with what she says she will do such as protecting everyone when really, she only wants to really protect Seth. But yeah anyway, it's nice to see everything pretty much resolved, and Seth can finally be free without his burdens, he felt like a "lighter" person without all that haha. I feel bad for the heroine that in Seth's choices for the future (resuming his position in the Black Army or leaving to go far away with Nodisha and start a new life) the heroine isn't in there, but I can understand why.

Honestly, even though I don't really care for the romance between the heroine and Seth, I really liked how Seth told her he loved her, but it was because of that that he wanted her to go back to her own world where her family, friends, career and her whole life is, instead of sacrificing it all for a guy she's spent a few weeks with. Like dang, I'm so glad someone is telling her to face reality, like c'mon, you've been so smitten with him, you haven't even spared a thought for the other people who are worried about you, I feel sorry for them lol. She was so ready to abandon everything that I just can't like how reckless the heroine is tbh lol. However, I did think her and Seth running back to each other in the end is cutee since they at least thought about what they really wanted first before going back to each other lol.

Overall, I'm not a fan of Seth's route, and I don't really like him either lol. I guess the heroine being so reckless and doing everything for "love" to the point that she literally didn't care about others or anything else irked me. As for Seth, he's an all right guy and I liked him better after they resolved most things since he's pretty mature and stuff, but I found the foundation of their relationship rocky, which it was supposed to be since he was "ordered" to seduce her but ended up falling for her, however I still I found them falling for each other to be really more of a physical love more than anything else. Like, it's great that the story is exploring more mature themes and sex is a natural thing in a relationship, but the way it was done just made me think the heroine was only thirsty for him and I honestly couldn't see what made her so smitten with him when she's gushing over his "surprising" masculinity like 80% of the time lol. Otherwise, I did like to see Seth free from the stuff that bothers him in other routes, and can feel like he can be a true part of the gang. But yeah, the romance was definitely not my thing here.

[hyunin]

lovelyz, onf, rocket punch, clc and victon for the ask thing!

                                                           send me a kpop group!

lovelyz

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to (maybe?) | no

who or what caught my attention: i’ve known about them since debut and have watched their releases, but they were never really my cup of tea until obliviate! yes i know...i am a filthy girl crush concept stan

why i want to stan: obliviate once again...plus i think the girlies are super cute

what i already know about them: that mijoo is super funny!! other than that, and the fact that their beat it acapella cover slapped, not much!

current favorite member: i used to be a babysoul stan, but i think my bias is mijoo now...i don’t know, i like them all a lot!

a question i have for veteran fans: what’s your favorite lovelyz content (songs included) i’m so bad at actually Watching stuff for groups outside of mvs and produce 101 LMAO but i’m open to recs regardless!

onf

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker: hyojin and mk i think....hyojin definitely the bias For Now but mk’s lines in sukhmvit swimming shot him up my list

first time i heard of them: i heard about them when they debuted!

when i became a fan: it’s hard to really know? i have a friend that ults them and her talking about them so much compelled me to listen to their discography and while i’m honestlY still learning all of their names i love their music a lot

favorite (and least favorite) title track: favorite is complete, least favorite is why, probably?

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: ORIGINAL!!! soty ever year, although i also am lowkey obsessed with new world. i’d have to listen very intently to decide my least favorite b-side, but i skip belle epoque so maybe that one

favorite (and least favorite) mv: complete again for favorite, least favorite is probably on/off?

favorite (and least favorite) album: my least favorite is probably spin off actually, which pains me to say. the rest of their albums are so good that it makes it hard to decide, but i Think my favorite might be go live...it has two of my favorite onf songs (asteroid and all day!)

rocket punch

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

who or what caught my attention: juri! i watched pd48 and i know she’s in the group <3

why i want to stan: i haven’t honestly thought about it too much because i haven’t liked their music too much so far (that i remember?) but i do look forward to seeing what they release in the future and if that might change!! i rarely have the energy to actually learn member names in new groups these days but i always love to support girls

what i already know about them: not much again tbh, other than them being from woollim, i have a friend that really likes them as well

current favorite member: juri i suppose!

a question i have for veteran fans: same as lovelyz, but in this case since i know even less about them, i usually get into groups through music first, so lmk your favorite songs by them so i can check them out

clc

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to  | no

my bias + bias wrecker: seungyeon for bias, seunghee for wrecker!

first time i heard of them: i’ve stanned since pepe <3 i almost started a clc blog with my friend back then

when i became a fan: as said, debut era!

favorite (and least favorite) title track: favorite is hobgoblin because i’m basic, least favorite is high heels

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: meow meow is my favorite for sure. least favorite required me kinda relistening to their discography but idk, maybe dear my friend? or one of the earlier ballads

favorite (and least favorite) mv: i think devil is my favorite mv, and my least favorite might actually be me, at least of the title tracks!

favorite (and least favorite) album: crystyle is one of my favorite kpop albums of all time. my least favorite is probably refresh

a concept i wished they’d try: an mv that has a more than $5 budget concept, i would say i’m jk but i’m not, i feel like their past mvs have all kinda been the same and it’s getting stale so anything new!! i feel like helicopter is a different kind of song at least, and i appreciate that

what i like most about them: despite being into them since debut i’ve watched such little content for them 🤧 but i love their discography, cube please let them. actually release more than a single soon. i want new clc music thanks

victon

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker: seungwoo, but i think my bias wrecker is sejun 😳

first time i heard of them: i HEARD about them when they debuted but didn’t like their debut song at the time and promptly forgot they existed

when i became a fan: i am a post pdx bandwagon stan

favorite (and least favorite) title track: ironically in this case i stan for the boys and NOT the music, so this required some revisiting (the whole discography.) my favorite is still nostalgic night, and my least favorite is remember me

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: favorite is hands up!! least favorite is probably something off the identity album, because i found all of those songs (other than unbelievable, which i really like!!) a little boring

favorite (and least favorite) mv: least favorite is remember me, again, and my favorite might be nostalgic night again! 

favorite (and least favorite) album: i’m not familiar enough with their discography to say this with confidence, but my favorite might be from.victon and least favorite: identity, based on my relisten for this

a concept i wished they’d try: i think an mv with more of a plot would be cool, let them flex their acting playm, but i’m so bad at thinking of concepts so idk HAHA

what i like most about them: i feel like i really got to know seungwoo and byungchan through pdx, so that helped me feel familiar with them right away. even though i haven’t watched Too much of their content aside from what i gif, they’re really funny and SO talented and i adore them

[seagreen-meets-grey]

When you’re close to me

After the realization hit her, it was impossible for Astrid to look at him the same way anymore. (Aka being a teenager and having a crush on your best friend is the best set-up for prom night.)

[Part 1: Revelations] [Part 2: Chicken Dance] [Part 3: Night Owls]

(The quoted song is “Sway” by Blue October.)

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

Astrid didn’t know exactly when it started.

She remembered lunch in the cafeteria, trying to squeeze in some homework, and a slightly nasal laugh when the math equations didn’t make sense to her and she let that out in a menacing tirade under her breath. She remembered wondering why it had pleasantly filled her ears, why it had made her look up.

She remembered standing in the school’s hallway shortly after last period, students jostling around, a cacophony of girly laughter, loud testosterone-filled exclamations and the general buzz of conversation surrounding her. She remembered turning away from her locker, ready to head out, and catching a glimpse of auburn hair in the crowd. She remembered smiling and waiting for him to catch up to her so they could walk out together.

She remembered her smile growing at every new text, remembered her sudden awareness of how much fun it was to hang out together.

But most of all, she remembered that one Saturday before finals.

It had been a busy couple of weeks, crammed with last-minute papers and presentations, long nights filled with caffeine and frustration. She was nothing but an ambitious student, always determined to ace every test coming her way, to prove herself and excel in every subject. Astrid Hofferson had goals, and she’d do everything in her power to reach those goals. That meant a very rigorous studying schedule, no distractions allowed. That again involved not being able to see her friends outside of school. She had no time for smoothies and movies, for afternoons in the park, the cove or on Heather’s couch, and certainly no time for Hiccup Haddock. Which sucked, because he was her best friend – the best she’s ever had, if anyone asked her.

She had first met him in kindergarten, but never really had had anything to do with him. Only when they got paired up for a project in freshman year – the classic way of getting to know people you never talked to – and after the initial rounds of awkward silence, did she have a real conversation with him. Up to that point, she had thought they couldn’t be more different people and that she couldn’t be less interested in the person that was Hiccup Haddock. But when he mentioned his dog with a missing tail and she told him stories about the parakeet she’d had as a kid and the puppy she had recently adopted, the conversation just kept flowing. Not always smoothly, but that didn’t matter. She liked talking to him. She found out he had a strong passion for what he loved and what he thought was right. He deeply cared for the people in his life and would do anything for them. Besides, it turned out they shared a lot of interests, and that made becoming friends even easier. And being friends with Hiccup was just that – easy. It was as if they clicked on another level, able to read each other like a book. There was no one who Astrid rather spent time with. He always made her forget about her troubles, but unfortunately finals – and therefore studying – were her troubles at the time.

Astrid groaned and buried her face in her physics textbook. She was lying on her stomach on the ground in her room, every surface covered with binders, notepads, textbooks, post-its, and index cards – the aftermath of a whole Saturday morning filled to the brim with studying, right after a short few hours of sleep preceded by a Friday afternoon and night study session.

Her brain was overflowing with equations, bullet points, half-sentences and phrases that refused to fall into context. The more she read and reviewed the less sense everything made in her head. Astrid sighed. She needed a breather. Placing her textbook aside, careful so the post-its didn’t shift out of place, she reached for her phone. She lay on her back and, holding her phone above her face, skimmed through various group chats. They all basically said the same; people were either studying or procrastinating, asking for help in several subjects, and the overall vibe screamed for salvation in the form of finals to be over already or a distraction of any shape or form.

Astrid was just grinning at a few memes sent by the twins when her phone suddenly buzzed several times from incoming texts, prompting her to drop it on her face.

Hiccup [11:48am]: your brain melted yet? i think i’m seeing smoke signals coming from your house

Hiccup [11:48am]: or did you try to make lunch and the house is burning down

Hiccup [11:48am]: do i need to call 911

Hiccup [11:49am]: where are your parents

Hiccup [11:49am]: omg did you finally snap from all the studying and killed them?

Rubbing her aching nose where her phone had met her face a moment ago, she typed back.

Astrid [11:50am]: Who do you think I’m cooking? ;)

Hiccup answered with a series of shocked emojis. Astrid grinned and imagined him placing a hand on his chest, pseudo-shocked look on his face. She rolled back onto her stomach, eyes set to the little dots indicating he was typing.

Hiccup [11:51am]: tbh i’m not surprised

Hiccup [11:51am]: always knew it was just a matter of time until someone died at your hands

Hiccup [11:52am]: how did you do it? axe or feeding them your version of an edible meal?

She could easily picture him gesticulating, waving his hands around, never able to keep them still while talking. It was kind of charming.

Astrid [11:52am]: Axe, of course. My cooking might be basic, but it doesn’t kill people.

Hiccup [11:53am]: biggest

Hiccup [11:53am]: lie

Hiccup [11:53am]: ever

Hiccup [11:53am]: hofferson

Astrid was about to reply when another text came in.

Hiccup [11:54am]: HOLY SHIT IS THAT WHY YOUR STEW WAS SO BAD? WHERE YOUR NEIGHBORS IN IT???!!

She rolled her eyes. A few months ago, she had made dinner for her friends. She had tried to follow her mother’s recipe but with her own twists, wanted to create something new, something originally Astrid – and, apparently, had succeeded. Only that her friends were rather spitting it back out on their plates than praising her cooking skills. The only one who at least tried and gulped down a few spoonfuls was Hiccup, and she loved him for it, despite the following teasing she had to endure.

Astrid [11:55am]: Shut up, Hiccup. I’m trying to study here.

Hiccup [11:55am]: how’s that going

Hiccup [11:56am]: have you even eaten anything yet

Astrid sighed. At his mention of stew, her stomach had growled viciously. Aside from half a croissant early in the morning, she’d had nothing to eat yet. She’d been so absorbed in studying that she hadn’t even noticed her parents leaving for their shopping day. Just one more chapter, she told herself while reopening her textbook, then she’d look for something to eat in the kitchen.

She put her phone away, not giving Hiccup the chance to further tease her on the subject of food. She would never admit this to him, but he was right. Astrid didn’t know how to cook, no matter how many cookbooks and articles she read, no matter how often she tried even the simplest meals. She was a lost cause. This was the reason why her motivation to look for something edible wasn’t necessarily high. She knew for sure there were no leftovers, and the fridge was likely mostly empty anyway; her parents would buy groceries at the end of their day at the mall.

Forcing herself back to her textbook, she pushed the notion of food to the back of her mind. Soon she was buried deep in her notes, trying desperately to press new information into her brain. When she stared at an equation and the numbers and symbols started dancing all over the page, she groaned in frustration. She needed to know this stuff by next Friday, and there was still so much more to revise.

She got up and went to the bathroom, filling the sink with cold water which she then dunked her head in several times. But it was of no use, it wasn’t ice water, of course this wouldn’t work. The only thing it did was to make her aware of how thirsty she was. While towel-drying her hair, she trudged down the stairs to grab herself a bottle of water. A quick check of the fridge confirmed her suspicion that there was basically no real food in this house. She found a few crackers in the cupboard and resigned herself to her dry excuse of a lunch when she heard the bell ring.

Bag of crackers in hand, she went to open the door and was greeted by a pair of familiar green eyes and a lopsided smile.

“Hey,” Hiccup said. His hair was as tousled as always and she noticed he was wearing an old green sweater that he only dug out on lazy weekends. Astrid didn’t have to ask if he had opened a textbook at all today.

“Hiccup, you’re smart,” she said in lieu of a greeting. “How do I restart my brain?”

Following her into the house and stealing a few of her crackers, which earned him a ferocious glare, he shrugged. “That’s exactly why I’m here.” He threw a cracker in his mouth and nearly missed. “I read the smoke signals.”

Astrid gave him a punch on the arm. “That’s for wasting my last food ration. Now I’m going to starve!”

Rubbing his arm, he motioned his head toward his car that was parked outside. “Then let’s go get some food.”

She crossed her arms, empty bag crinkling in her hand. “I can’t. I have to study.”

“We both know you’re not going to come far like this. Come on, I know you need a break.”

Astrid sighed. They both knew he was right.

“And something to eat,” he added when her stomach chimed in on the discussion. “See? Now let’s go before you kill and eat me too.”

Astrid bit her lip. She knew he wasn’t going to drop this. And a short break from studying could surely recharge her concentration.

“Alright,” she gave in with a sigh and put the bag in the trash, grabbed her jacket and followed Hiccup back outside. “But I lied, I didn’t cook my parents. They’re out shopping.”

“In that case, I’m even more scared, in such proximity with you when you’ve clearly not yet let out your daily dose of violence.”

“It’s not violence,” she protested, “it’s communication!”

“If it is, people should even be more afraid of you. You have some strong opinions.”

Astrid grinned and shut the car door. “Hell yeah, I do.”

“So communicate with me then,” Hiccup said while turning onto the street. “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything that’s not a dry cracker.”

“Or stew.”

She punched his arm lightly and he glared at her. “I’m driving here, you insane muttonhead.”

“You’re the muttonhead,” she retorted brightly before plugging his stereo cable in her phone and selecting their special car playlist. The songs that made it in were a bunch of shared favorite songs, songs they listened to on longer car rides together, songs that had a special meaning to them, or songs that were some sort of inside joke between them. They referred to it as their car playlist, but Astrid thought of it only as her Hiccup playlist. Whenever she felt down, she listened to it, finding comfort in the memories it held and the promise of their friendship that came with it.

While the music blasted through the speakers, Hiccup hummed along.

“How did you know?” Astrid asked as he turned onto the main road.

“Hm?”

“That I needed a break from studying.”

Hiccup glanced at her before turning his eyes back on the road. “Like I said, I read the smoke signals from your brain. I call it,” he made a grand gesture with one arm, “Astrintuition.”

“That’s not a thing, you dork.”

“It is now, I just named it.”

Astrid looked out the window to hide her smile. Of course he knew. He knew that she would spend her entire weekend preparing for finals and that she’d prioritize that over everything else. That’s why he decided to come by and make sure she ate something and still saw the sun. A fond feeling spread in her chest.

They ended up at Pizza Hut where they shared their favorite pizza, a Cheesy Crust Chicken Supreme. Hiccup watched in awe as she devoured slice after slice and when he exclaimed that he was stuffed, she ate the rest of his half too. She might not look like it, he thought, but that girl could rival his father when it came to eating. Astrid was so busy with her pizza that she missed the affectionate look he gave her.

On the way back to her place, the sun came out. It hit Hiccup’s hair at just the right angle to create a fiery halo around his head. Astrid rolled down her window to enjoy the warm breeze.

When their playlist jumped to a loud and fast song, Hiccup amped up the volume. He and Astrid automatically started duetting, jerking their heads along to the fast parts and swaying in sync to the slower ones. It had taken them a lot of tries to finally get all the lyrics right in the proper pace, and even now one of them sometimes fell out, provoking a snort from the other while they spluttered to jump back in.

Astrid loved moments like these. It was her and Hiccup, a team, enjoying each other’s presence. When the song faded out, their last chuckle dying down with it, she propped up her elbow and leaned her head on her hand. She closed her eyes, felt the wind in her hair, on her skin. She smiled when she recognized the next song, her favorite from three summers ago. Silently mouthing the lyrics along, she got struck by a feeling of utter contentment, accompanied by a swelling in her chest while familiar, memory-laden streets around her where dipped in sunlight.

Forget about the trouble Forget about the drama Cause I ain't Casanova Baby I can dance for days This time with you Is just amazing in so many ways

She looked over at Hiccup who slightly bobbed his head to the music, his eyes on the road, a small smile gracing his features, the sunlight dancing in his hair. She couldn’t stop looking at him. It was as if she was suddenly seeing him with new eyes. She felt a swoop in her stomach. In the light, she could make out slight stubble on his chin. His fringe and thick eyebrows cast shadows over his face. She had never really noticed how handsome he was.

Feeling a blush heat up her cheeks, she averted her eyes. Well, this is new, she thought.

For the rest of the day, she couldn’t really concentrate on anything and fell asleep much later than usual, confusion and strange new revelations keeping her awake until early in the morning.

From then on, she noticed the little things. The small touches that were suddenly too much, the glances, the dragged-out goodbyes, the increasing frequency of hugs that tended to linger a moment too long. She wondered why she had never noticed how green his eyes were, how much taller than her he had grown, or how broad his shoulders had become only in the last year.

Every day, she noticed it, noticed him more. And it only got worse over time.

When he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat or two. He invaded her thoughts regularly and often in the most inconvenient moments, like when she wanted to sleep or needed to pay attention during class. Astrid was in no way a sappy romantic. But every time the topic of love or romance was brought up even in the slightest, her mind wandered to Hiccup, much to her chagrin. They were friends. She didn’t want to ruin that with sudden, stupid feelings.

Eventually, she came to admit to herself that she had a crush on him (just a small one really, no big deal). It was when her grandmother asked for a nice photo of her and Astrid sorted through her pictures on her laptop. After an hour or so she suddenly noticed she had moved from looking at pictures of herself to staring at pictures of Hiccup instead.

It took her a while to come to terms with it, before she tried to block it out and hoped it went away on its own. When that didn’t work, she changed tactics. Going out with someone else would certainly help her forget about her crush. But whenever she tried to find a guy she’d go on a date with, the qualities she looked for in them were traits she associated with Hiccup. In comparison to him, everyone else quickly faded into the background.

By the time she gave up changing targets, she could no longer deny to herself that this crush was indeed not small at all. And her plan to not tell anyone so that it couldn’t become a bigger deal than it was – and it really was a big deal – failed spectacularly when Heather caught her staring at Hiccup from afar and asked her if she ever noticed how she wouldn’t shut up about him. Astrid tried denying it at first, but there was no fooling Heather.

“Hiccup this, Hiccup that. Astrid, you couldn’t be more obvious.”

Sometimes, though, Astrid was glad that Heather knew. She would do her all kinds of little favors, like “accidentally” forgetting something in her locker when the three of them were on their way to class, saving Hiccup a seat that happened to be right next to Astrid, or cancelling at the last minute when they decided to go to the movies so Astrid and Hiccup were to themselves. Although Astrid loved her for doing that, it didn’t help her frustration about her one-sided crush.

Heather, however, had a different opinion. She believed that Hiccup had feelings for her, too, based on the way he acted around Astrid. Despite her hopes that her friend was right, Astrid nevertheless argued that Hiccup had always been like that since the beginning of their friendship; Heather just hadn’t been there to see it since she’d come to their school later. Besides, Hiccup was the one always stressing that they were friends (best friends, but still just friends). Heather would just look at her like she was missing something obvious.

Time went on like this, with Heather always trying to nudge Hiccup and Astrid in the right direction and telling her to just talk to him or make a move herself. And it’s not like Astrid didn’t try. She gave Hiccup signals all the time, like shuffling closer and leaning against him while they were watching a movie, dropping comments here and there about the two of them together, touching him on the arm or chest or hand whenever she got the chance to – not that she minded at all – and even going out for ice cream on Valentine’s Day. But either he didn’t notice the signs, like the dork that he was, or he read them wrong. And there was still the possibility that he wasn’t into her at all – a notion Astrid hated but had to admit could be true.

Her frustration got especially bad when prom rolled around. While she normally wouldn’t even think twice about the ridiculous need to find a prom date that other girls seemed to have, a part of her still hoped Hiccup would ask her while she tried to work up the nerve to ask him herself. But whenever she opened her mouth to bring up the topic, she chickened out. If she asked him and he said no, she didn’t want that to affect their friendship, didn’t want to jeopardize whatever it was that made their whole dynamic so easy and comfortable. And it wasn’t like she needed a prom date to have a good time with him, anyway.

She kept going back and forth with her reasonings, caught between her idea of simply having fun with her friends without conforming to high school society norms, and the inevitable pull Hiccup had on her, creating her desire to be close to him, closer than she was now. And she just couldn’t find a solution.

Astrid was sitting in the cafeteria, picking at her vegetables, while she glared daggers at the girl who was currently talking to Hiccup on the other side of the room. The girl was tall, blonde and pretty, and she had her hand on his arm while she threw her hair back laughing at something he said.

“I know cafeteria food is awful, but even those peas don’t deserve what you’re doing to them,” Heather said next to her, watching as her friend tortured squashy peas and radiated jealousy like a miniature Chernobyl. When Astrid only grunted in response, Heather sighed. “Just ask him already. I don’t know how much longer I can take this unnecessary pining.” She snorted. “Or Snotlout.”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me.” She’d been asked to prom nine times by now, eight of those by Snotlout (the other one by an overachieving freshman named Gustav).

She cut into her steak, pretending she wasn’t secretly watching Hiccup and that girl. Her plate made a horrible sound when she got through the steak and ran her knife over the cheap china. She and Heather cringed at the bloodcurdling noise and Astrid mumbled an apology.

When she looked up the next time, that girl was gone. Hiccup came towards their table with his food tray and sat down opposite them.

“That’s the fifth time this week that I’ve been asked to prom,” he said. “Is there some kind of prank going on?”

Astrid scowled. She only knew about three. “If there is, I’m going to kill the person responsible,” she mumbled and chewed on her steak. Hiccup frowned at her sour mood but didn’t comment on it.

“Hiccup, do you even know how popular you are?” Heather asked him. “And you’re an eyecatcher. Girls notice you.” Hiccup looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. “It’s true, just ask Astrid.”

Astrid almost choked on her (awful) steak and felt Hiccup’s eyes burning through the side of her face. “Yeah well, kind of,” she stammered, fighting the blush growing on her cheeks while she avoided his gaze, “I mean, everyone gets more handsome when they grow up, not specifically you, but everyone, you know, which doesn’t mean that you didn’t, I mean… You’re fine, I guess.” She shrugged and stuffed half her steak into her mouth so that she couldn’t start rambling again like that.

“What Astrid’s trying to say here is that I’m right.”

A quick glance told Astrid that Hiccup was still frowning at her weird behavior. “Are you alright?”

She gave him a strained smile and swallowed the ball of dry meat in her mouth. “I’m fine.” He didn’t seem convinced but didn’t question her further either. Instead, he went back to complaining.

“I just can’t catch a break from turning down prom invitations. Which I most certainly never thought I’d ever even have to do in the first place.”

Heather took from that that he’d immediately said no to all of them. A smile grew on her face as an idea crossed her mind. This was a perfect opportunity.

“Hey, why don’t you guys go together?” she asked, looking back and forth between Astrid and Hiccup. Both of them simultaneously started to protest.

“It’s not like that.”

“We’re not… It’s not…”

“We don’t date.”

“Yeah, that’d be weird, because we’re just–”

“We’re just friends.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They were both blushing pretty hard, avoiding each other’s gazes. Heather rolled her eyes.

“Then just go as friends. That means you,” she pointed at Hiccup, “will be left alone by all those girls, and you,” she pointed at Astrid, “will get Snotlout off your back.”

Astrid pondered that for a moment and came to the conclusion that she liked that thought. She and Hiccup shared a look.

“Alright,” he said and gave her a lopsided smile. “Wanna go to prom?”

She tried not to break into a wide smile while she felt the familiar tingle in her stomach. “Sure,” she shrugged and went back to eating her cafeteria food which suddenly didn’t taste so bad anymore. Hiccup did the same, suppressing a grin himself. Heather just shook her head at them and sighed. Hopeless dorks.

[frvnchies]

     lovable alpha bitch / the speechless / so beautiful, it’s a curse

NAME.

FULL NAME: francesca eloise waverly. PREFERRED NAME/NICKNAMES: frenchie. GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS: francesca by her parents (which she does not like!), frenchie by essentially everyone else.

APPEARANCE.

FACECLAIM: halston sage. SEX: cisfemale. HEIGHT: short — she’s about 5′3″. WEIGHT: about 115 lbs normally, more like 110 during pageant season. BUILD: slim with some tone from working out. HAIR: soft natural dirty blonde with some subtle highlights from the salon, often styled in loose waves. HANDS: small, delicate, perfectly manicured hands. she has a regimen for taking care of herself, hands included (she’s got a mani-pedi appointment every tuesday afternoon). SCARS: faded scar on her knee from a fall as a child. CLOTHES: she dresses like a sorority girl, tbh. a lot of lilly pulitzer, some madewell and free people, kate spade bags, pearls, lululemon leggings & vineyard vines or simply southern shirts when she’s feeling lazy. OTHER NOTABLE FEATURES: wide smile.

SPEECH.

VOICECLAIM: as far as her normal speaking voice, halston works. as for singing, i’m gonna go big and say she’s got a touch of sara bareilles. ACCENT: soft carolinian accent, kind of like this. VERBAL TICS: tendency to use pet names (sugar, honey, darlin’, etc).  LANGUAGE: she’s fluent in english & ASL, currently studying spanish. ARTICULATION: she’s very articulate and sure of herself when explaining things. as with most things in her life, this is a result of excessive pageant practice. EDUCATION: the thing about the way frenchie talks is that it’s long & tiresome, but more from the fact that she drawls her words like a good southern girl and less from the fact that she uses big words. she’s not dumb, but it’s not her style. LAUGHTER: she doesn’t laugh loudly because her mother says it’s not ladylike. she tends to giggle instead. BREATHING: she makes a lot of noise during club meetings, partly because it’s easier to convey her meaning through sighs and humphs than writing something out. 

MANNERISMS.

FACE: a lot of times, she doesn’t mind people knowing what she thinks, so it’ll be written all over her face (i.e. when she sees the murder club being weird, it’s not hard to tell that she thinks it’s weird). that being said, she can put on a pretty good poker face when she wants to. HANDS: being too expressive / talking with her hands / making herself too big or loud in general has been drilled into her as unladylike, so her hands usually stay folded in her lap.  LEGS/FEET: absolutely not. see above. EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: if anything, frenchie tends to maintain the hell out of a poker face when she’s upset and then burst into tears the second she’s alone. she doesn’t like losing face in front of others; it feels too vulnerable. HABITS: most fidgety sort of habits have been discouraged by her mother. the one thing she can’t get frenchie to stop doing is twirling her hair. POSTURE: her posture is absolutely perfect. that’s a pageant queen for you! PERSONAL SPACE: depends on who we’re talking about. with friends, she’s much more likely to be comfortable with them – ex. brushing shoulders, casual touches, etc. with strangers or people she doesn’t know, she’ll back off a little, and is more averse to them getting up in her space. she’s pretty tolerant of anything, though. OTHER: she can usually be found chewing a stick of gum.

HEALTH.

DIET: frenchie’s on a pretty strict diet as far as keeping in shape for pageant stuff. this usually means a lot of salads, lean meat, veggies, that sort of thing — if she even bothers to eat at all, which is less likely to occur during pageant season. she has an undeniable sweet tooth, though, so she’ll always cave for a shake at marie’s. SLEEP: these days, she doesn’t sleep as much. she usually tries to get a solid eight hours, but her sleep is so restless now that she’s lucky if she can grab a few hours at best. EXERCISE: it probably borders on a little bit too much of the treadmill / stairclimber. right now she’s more busy with the murder club, which takes away from her usual regimen. ACTIVITY: she’ll damn near kill herself practicing pageant stuff if she thinks it’ll make her mom happy. CLEANLINESS: frenchie takes a lot of pride in her appearance, so she’s always been the type to shower regularly and keep herself clean & tidy. she has a whole regimen of soaps, scrubs, lotions, etc. that she follows religiously.  ODOR: her signature perfume is armani’s sí. if she’s not wearing that, she’ll still smell pleasant and vaguely girly, mostly like her shampoo. MEDICINAL DRUGS: she got a prescription for xanax last year, but she never filled it. NARCOTICS: she’s not averse to smoking some weed at a party, but nothing more than that (she tends to worry about her singing voice). PARASITES: does jamie count as a parasite?

PERSONAL.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: definitely an extrovert — she always likes being around people, and usually feels better / more energized when she’s out and about.  OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: optimist. she has an unwavering belief that things will work out. this is probably a result of the fact that she’s white, pretty, and well off, so things do tend to work out for her. SEXUALITY: frenchie’s still kind of figuring this out, but she’s bisexual. as far as people she’s dated in the past, they’ve usually been the type of person people expect her to be with — hot, popular, etc. as for what she actually wants for herself, she really just needs someone who’ll make her smile. ROMANTIC: biromantic. again, has yet to realize that anyone other than cis dudes are really an option for her, but she’s got a big heart underneath all that hairspray, and she’s secretly a hopeless romantic.   MEMORY: she has a better memory than a lot of people give her credit for. she’s especially good with names/faces/dates/times, that sort of thing. PLANNING: she has a planner. does she use it? no. she just wanted the lilly pulitzer print to tote around. this bitch just wanders into whatever she wants to do next — her whims are wild and often. INTUITION: she generally trusts herself and her gut. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate. GOALS: as of right now, her only clear goal is to win the miss teen normal 2019 pageant. other than that, she has a vague idea of the kind of life she wants to have, but pageantry has really shaped a lot of who she is. INSECURITIES: she’s insecure about the fact that she kind of feels like a one trick pony. if she can’t do pageants, what can she do? ACHIEVEMENTS: little miss normal 2012, young miss normal 2014, junior miss teen normal 2017... you get the gist.   ANXIETY: pageants lol. her mother. the idea of failing her mother. anything along those lines, honestly. SELF-HELP: frenchie is very much of the ‘ignore the problem until it goes away’ mindset. this is not working for her at all right now, which distresses her greatly. BAD HABITS: she smacks her gum, which drives her mother absolutely insane. otherwise, she tends to drill out her bad habits before they can form. PHILOSOPHY: she was raised catholic, but frenchie has struggled with the whole believing part of religion for years. she still goes to services every sunday with her family, but her heart’s not in it. she wants to believe in something, but she has a hard time taking the church’s word for it. she’d probably fall best under agnostic for now.

THE PAST.

PARENTS/GUARDIANS: her relationship with her dad is amiable but distant; he’s always at work, so they never really bonded the way they should’ve. she’s tied up tight with her mom, but that relationship is absolutely riddled with anxiety and angst. she wants so desperately to have her mom’s approval that she has very few positive interactions with her. WORST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: the day she lost her voice. not only was it incredibly embarrassing to stand on stage and watch everyone whisper about her, but she’s genuinely distressed by the idea that it has yet to come back. there’s no explanation, no reason — she can’t be stuck like this the rest of her life. BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: when she won little miss normal, her mother took the whole family out for a huge dinner and let frenchie get whatever she wanted. it was one of the few times she can remember having everyone together without a single sharp word or argument.

RELATIONSHIPS.

FAMILY: the only family member she truly trusts to have her back is her twin brother, theo. she absolutely idolizes her mother, but frenchie knows that she would leave her kids in the dust if she thought they needed to learn a lesson. FRIENDSHIPS: truthfully, she has almost no true friends. her best friend is, without a doubt, theo. frenchie’s the kind of person who’s surrounded by people, but feels absolutely alone — none of them really know her, or even care to try. though she might try to resist, the rest of the murder club is on their way to being her friend, too.  NEEDING A FRIEND: she generally deals with problems on her own (read: she does not deal with them and waits until it fizzles out), or she consults theo (read: she has him take care of it).   ANNOYANCES: cold shoulder, 100%. she’s a petty bitch and it’s very easy to do now that she legitimately cannot talk. ROMANCE: frenchie is actually very unsure when it comes to any sort of romance. she wants it, but has no idea how to invite it in. ADVERSARIES: people who say ‘lol’ out loud, the entire state of florida, people who chew really loudly, dentists, people who want to be dentists. ENEMIES: people who are mean to animals, probably. FUN STUFF: getting shakes at marie’s, going shopping, taking long drives. BEST FRIEND: theo.

INTERACTIONS.

MINGLING: when she actually tries, she’s got a certain charm about her that makes it fairly easy for her to make people like her. COMFORT LEVELS: as a rule, she doesn’t really have any issues talking to anyone, from strangers on up to close friends or family, so she’s pretty hard to faze in that sense.  GROUPS: she’s comfortable with both big and small groups. she likes having both in equal measure — big groups for a fun time, small groups for that good 1-on-1 dish. OPENNESS: since she doesn’t really have any true, close friends, she has a harder time opening up about real stuff. if she’s having issues, theo’s the one who will hear about it, and she’s never seen need to tell anyone else whatever’s closest to her heart. GENEROSITY: if the murder club was a sorority, frenchie would be everyone’s big. she’s still warming up to them a bit, but she’s very generous with milkshake orders, ghost hunting supplies — whatever. she doesn’t care. she has daddy’s amex on deck at all times. JEALOUSY: she’s jealous of people who seem breezily confident in themselves. though she seems very content with herself, she wishes she actually had that kind of easy comfort in her own skin. TEMPER: depends on the situation. certain people can get on her nerves more easily than others, but she’s not usually the type to have an outburst. EMPATHY: these days, she’s working on being a little more empathetic, especially since the murder club has a few people that she used to be pretty vicious towards. she’ll still lash out sometimes, but she’s trying. AFFECTION: little stuff — private smiles just for them, attempts to fill their needs before they even know they need it, generally trying to make sure that person is perfectly content. DISTASTE: just look for that characteristic derisive sneer. she’s not likely to hide it if she doesn’t like you. ETIQUETTE: etiquette is frenchie’s middle name. emily post who? RESPONSIBILITY: she does not like to admit that she’s wrong. it leaves a very bitter taste in her mouth. SELF ESTEEM: she’s not about to let anyone she sees as ‘lesser’ than her push her around. if you’re below her on the popularity food chain, she’s not gonna act like a little delicate flower. CONFIDENCE: depends on the day, her mood, etc. sometimes she’s all ‘i’m the hottest bitch ever to walk this earth’, and sometimes she feels like shrek. high school is magical. LEADER OR FOLLOWER: she tends to go with the flow more than anything.  PRAISE: she loves a good compliment! boost that ego. CRITICISM: she takes genuine criticism VERY poorly. when confronted with her own flaws, she tends to lash out and try to dig twice as deep into her critic. the notable exception to this is her mother — she’ll take that criticism with little more than an apology and promise to do better. INSULTS: insults are much easier to laugh off, for whatever reason. they feel more surface-level to her. EMBARRASSMENT: not too easily embarrassed, but if she is, she’ll just turn red and not really know what to say. FLIRTING: not usually unless she’s drunk or specifically interested in someone, but she does sometimes think it’s fun to bat her eyes and smile prettily at football players just to watch them trip over themselves. ATTENTION SPAN: frenchie is a magpie. show her a pair of earrings and she’ll forget what she was saying entirely.

LIFE.

DUTY: no real responsibilities to speak of beyond being on time for practice. TECH: she’s been through three phones in the past year. that should speak for itself. COMBAT SKILLS: frenchie might not have bulk on her side, but she’s vicious enough to hold an attacker off for a minute or two. those perfectly manicured nails will go right for your eyes if you try to mess with her. HOME: she’s very organized. her room is nice and neat and very pleasant to be in. INDEPENDENCE: frenchie is absolutely dependent on her parents. she likes to pretend that she can do anything she wants on her own, but she’d be lost without them.  COOKING: she’s actually a pretty good cook. growing up, her nana made sure she knew all the good southern recipes passed down through their family so she ‘could take care of her husband properly someday’.  BUILDING: the idea of frenchie building anything is hysterical. SHOPPING: she shops constantly. i’m sure she’s bought things online literally during murder club meetings, and has come home with bags on bags of stuff before. DRIVING: she’s got a cute little baby blue VW bug, courtesy of daddy’s big bonus and presented to her on her sixteenth birthday. FINANCES: virtually all her money comes from her parents, who are very comfortable financially. her dad is a very successful lawyer, so frenchie will usually end up getting some sort of ‘allowance’ from him each month. this is often flexible — if she really wants something, she’s pretty much guaranteed to get it. PETS: she has a golden retriever named ollie.  LAW: no ma’am, no sir. unless you count underage drinking. MEDICAL: she currently has doctor’s appointments out the wazoo to try and figure out what’s up with her voice. before that, she was pretty vigilant about going to the doctor/dentist. she takes care of herself! WORRIES: these days, it’s her voice. day and night, she wonders — will she get it back? is she stuck like this? what will she do if it never comes back? it’s an endless cycle, and the answer is always the same: she doesn’t know. PARTYING: frenchie actually loves to party. her mother supports it if she has ‘a nice young man to escort her’, AKA she’ll probably call up kaz and ask him to take her so she can go. HOBBIES: y’all, we all know this bitch does pageants and nothing else.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Denmark to Eurovision with a cute multilingual jingle

Dansk Melodi Grand Prix is... a NF I don’t really have anything to say about. Like, you expect me to rile up 3 big paragraphs about the pre-NF dramas and what-not, but honestly... what’s the point.

Well, aside from the fact people did not really get excited over the lineup this year. Me neither from the names alone, actually. Even last year was more interesting to look at despite with another lineup of songs you can’t give a fuck about and then move on - I noticed they had Sannie who used to be known as Whigfield (”Saturday Night” <3333 the duck quacks <333), Ditte Marie (anyone remembers “Overflow” from 2012?) and Albin Fredy (which seems to be the same Albin that brought me my one of the two DMGP 2013 favourite songs, “Beautiful to Me”???). This year was a big “WHO IS SHE?? WHERE DID YOU FIND HER???”, so I just left DMGP in the corner where it picked cobwebs until not too long ago when someone got chosen.

Well, this NF keeps being a NF where I don’t personally feel too emotionally fucked about any of them entries, so that’s a big plus in my book, which will mean that I won’t throw a “THIS WAS ROBBED!!!1″ post on Denmark NF-wise... at least this year and the last year because I really loved “Venter” in 2012 and the said “Beautiful to Me” and “Invincible” in 2013 (I also liked “Only Teardrops” but I was mad its victory was so obvious xD). As for why I like it when the NFs don’t toy with my feelings, A Dal 2019 is an obvious demonstration, but more on that on my Hungarian writeup, which is significantly longer than this one - that’s how much of a demonstration it is.

Anyway, let’s talk about the chosen song, shall we? Performed by a smol skater girlie Leonora (Jepsen), here comes “Love Is Forever”, which was co-penned by the ever-so-notorious Lise Cabble - the champ-mastress of writing Eurovision songs for the Danes (by that I mean she wrote their 1995 entry... and then none of her entries got chosen for ESC until 2011 lol). And this is a significally softer turn of hers compared to “Only Teardrops” - ever since Anna Ritsmar in 2018′s DMGP, she tends to write cute, acoustic tunes sung by young ladies with their lil cute and lil crispy voices. “Love Is Forever” is just that, tbh.

Well THAT and also it sounds like a lovely acoustic background song for those funny photos/student quotes/test answers/etc. compilation videos on Youtube (I actually am talking about the channel Scoop, because other kinds of compilation videos use Youtube Audio Library-like pop songs or something straight off NoCopyrightSounds). Or the theme song for a TV programme for animals. Or the theme song for a children's programme they show at hospitals. There's so many places you can insert it into, I guess. At the same time it feels like a cupcake with pink frosting that tastes nice. And a cup of warm cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's a delightful bite. Yum.

Realistically though, the song itself has an easy noddable-along-to rhythm, cute violin string plucks, the capability to melodically progress to sound even more joyful (I mean, the chorus just adds more and more layers of brass as it keeps repreating, just giving it a bit more of a typical Scoop channel background music material), the D flat major key of this song’s uplifts the spirits of this whole shebang and it also somehow includes lines in some more languages than expected in a Danish song ever, how odd it seems like??? And it’s especially given that we haven’t really heard Danish in a song since like what, 1997?? We only got “shout insh’allah” and “taka stökk til hærri jörð, taka” ever since then, and these aren’t remotely Danish lines. But this year we’re getting some Danish, and French, and even German. Feeling the love in multilingual. L’amour est pour toujours, y’all! Liebe IST für alle da!

There are also people that aren’t buying into the song all that much because Leonora looks way too creepy to sell a song about love love peace peace, like someone emerging out of a demented cabaret. I suppose that other people think that this song was forced onto Leonora when she didn’t really want it, and now has to pretend that we have to spread love to the world, make friendships with others, don’t get too political, and then act all supercool about it. The saddest bit that she does sound like that person that would sing a song like that... young, with a passion for skating, looks like a person that could probably hug you when you least expect it, the one that posts light purple sweater pictures with a glitter effect applied to them on Tumblr, the one who would wear white mittens with a giant red snowflake painted on/knitted into them... I don’t know if that’s all Leonora wanted to compete with in DMGP to make a breakthrough with her singing career after skating so darn much, and if she even believes in what is she singing (this is my rare reminder of the war situation in Israel that’s going on, and I’ll probably never have to speak of this again in any writeup, hopefully. Yeah sure, love is for ever...), but I somehow buy it, sue me. Those acoustics and that touch of brass instruments won me over.

So my final thoughts on this song is that it’s a joyball with that kind of song message so overused I cannot be angry on it because it’s not slapped on a dreary Russian peace ballad - it’s a singer-songwriter-esque small showtune, which makes it all seem a lot different because love is cute and this song is cute. So I guess I have no issues with it, whereas I can’t stand the aforementioned Russian peace ballads all that much because if you remove the good singers singing it, they’re cliché af; “Wars for Nothing” (Hungary 2015) sounded too innocent while having a full gun tree serving as a backdrop for them and if you looked too much into Boggie’s eyes, you could very well feel her penetrating your soul with war imagery; and Iceland last year was a knock-off Russian peace ballad that sounded too good to be unbearably dreary and the vocalist wasn’t even a belting girl. So yeah, I like it. More adorable songs about spreading love, less overdone ballads about world peace.

Thing is though, why did she really dress like a barista from a late-night-open cocktail club? I get that looking like a princess à la Maria Olafs won't cut it anymore as it would look way more saccharine, but Leonora is up like she's there to serve you your damn drink as soon as possible so she could go outside for a small smoke break, not to advertise love. Watch me make "when you have Eurovision at 9 and job at a cocktail bar at 11" memes on the night of the 16th. Seriously, her image barely even fucking suits the song!

Approval factor: Well, one of my faves won DMGP again, for the 2nd time in a row, so why wouldn’t I approve? ^_^ Love from me is forever!

Follow-up factor: For Denmark it kind of seems like a decent follow-up? For all those out here that remember Denmark as the nation that plagiarises every other entry, it would just seem logical for them to finally send a generic royalty free ukulele song for Youtube videos. Which is spectacular! No one knows which song did this one exactly plagiarize - the entire concept was ripped off! Jokes aside, it’s an interesting one after Rasmussen. After a song that urges you to lay your weapons down in a war and go find higher ground more peacefully, we’re now getting a morale on the fact that love is for ever and everyone. Isn’t it sweet. I’d rather these than a bland love song about laying down armours and guns. ^_^

Qualification factor: depends. For now I feel like writing it off because to the 1% of the people who’ve already heard this song beforehand and hate this song, the whole thing feels like “love :) is :) forever :) please love everyone you little shit :) :) :)”. To some others however, like Luke Malam from ESCXtra, it’s a song that definitely makes them feel the love being forever, just like “yaaaay we love each other and the world yaaaay!!! ^o^”, so it’s perhaps a bit of a mixed bag. I wanna see it through though, just as much as I want to see Lithuania, about which I will be talking next in these write-ups. But I see it very much so as a borderline because... idk, just a gut feeling. Sometimes songs that ooze loveliness just don’t quite get themselves across the other hand side of the viewer thus they don’t really qualify, for example, Finland 2012, another song sung by a lady better known as a sportswoman rather than a singer (but maybe that’s just because there was too much intimacy of hers with her and her celloist’s mom, and she looked too awkward to pass the intimacy to the viewers so they too could feel the loving bond and the life metaphors coming from a Finnish entrant singing in Swedish). For now from me it’s a positive borderline. Yes, I think that it probably will make it and we’ll see that large Ikea chair prop with many people swaying to the rhythm on it next to Leonora on Saturday as well.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Even with me not having much to say about DMGP, I will go ahead and cherrypick the favourite songs from the event:

• The big favourite of mine this year was brought by Julie & Nina, who served a bilingual schlager-like midtempo track, “League of Light”. Hats off to sounding properly Eurovision-y but without using a “rent-a-NF-songwriter” songwriter for to write this! It’s soaring, majestic, somewhat memorable and inclused Greenlandic. Yeah. Do you believe that this would have been a year where we could’ve gotten more exotic Language spins? Now we have lost both Aboriginal and Greenlandic out of Eurovision, hopefully just for this year so the languages can return again sometime. I’m proud of these women being so courageous and delighting some that really wanted schlager pop that still can click with some that are bored of Eurovision NF schlager cliches. Oh and this song is in A flat minor, probably one of my favourite keys in music. Not too bad, everything this was, although the aggression they transmitted through the song during their live DMGP performance kiiiiinda made them looked like pissed-off housewives imo?

• Them both and this guy below, Sigmund, were picked to the superfinal to compete against Leonora. What was Sigmund’s contribution and why did he deserve to be there so much? Well, I really love his colourful flamboyant electropop track that has piano influences, “Say My Name”, which lyrically reflects on the song’s protagonists big power that he will probably have if only the invisible force Sigmund’s singing to would just “say [his] name”. And I definitely think he deserved his spot over some really nice pop entries that the fandom definitely overrated. Oh and the song is in A flat minor too. Maybe I’m biased, maybe I’m not. You judge. >:)

• See, I don't feel like talking about the DMGP songs this year. It's a cool bunch of songs that some of them I like but nothing quite outstanding to talk about beyond those I already have paragraphs for. Well maybe you'd like to look up the entries by Humorekspressen (for to get a pub singalong song) and Jasmine Gabay (for to get yet another Latino-influenced Havana club track). But that's it. Here from me the last one you'll be getting is Simone Emilie with her teen-flavoured light radiofriendly dance-ish song "Anywhere". Why didn't it do better despite having the power to click with the Eurofans quite much? Well, maybe it's because her backdrop and the fairytale-esque dress went for another kind of atmosphere than it was required to have on the song.

• I don't know, I just find this particular winning reaction shot funny. Not sure if she's yawning or being like "yaaaazs bitchesss ;) 😄 ✨" in here. I gotta say - her lipstick was definitely on fleek that night.

That guy below her takes the cake at making this shot memorable too. Do you want the invisible meal Leonora is about to take a bite of too?

And besides that moment I don’t really have any on-show moments besides songs that were somewhat memorable. Why do Danes always have to be this vanilla in the Nordic country barrage, I will never get. That’s it. That’s their crime. Of being average. And being sued for plagiarism a lot in the past.

For now I’d just wish Leonora good luck in Tel Aviv and show ‘em that love can and will prevail before hatred does, if only people remember to love... ah wait, wrong kind of philosophy.