#tbh ur better off not taking this

[mattibee]

its very odd like i kinda love warped reality in found footage and written horror but in regular cinematic movies its always like. a lame little gotcha moment for me

like... i knew the girlfriend in Autopsy of Jane Doe was gonna get got they set that up so blatantly but the moment her death was just haha whoopsie you thought that was a monster you hit with an axe? teehee sorry its like... okay... whatever...

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[luna7822]

remember when a majority of deep cut """"f^^s"""" used to be really chill until a whole ass year had passed before unfortunately being so divisive and hateful cuz some fictional character didnt need to win 24/7 to ne anywhere near """"pearl 2,0"""" or some shit as if its literally just the most cliche thing ever and therefore made frye 5t4n5 even worse and delusional beyond belief than they already are since theyre now completely greedy even AFTER they won like once or twice now if u were to count japan victories too as if both resulta from diff countries still matter?

me too ;-;

even if i didnt start playing splatoon 3 until i got the game a while after i got my switch in christmas of 2022 i feel as tho i wish ppl were better than this and that times would actually be more simpler for once when no1 hated shiver for just simply existing and taking Ws, no1 was begging frye to win 24/7 in the most dumb way possible and therefore taking everything too srsly for no reason whatsoever, and no1 was being an idiot and actively hating the game for no reason too cuz its unfortunate how awful ppl became ever since a harmless go to greeting splatfest happened or some shit like that since it just pisses me off when i feel like ALL deep cut members dont even deserve any kind of backlash or overpraise at all and that they really deserve to be treated like equals for once without some1 throwing pitchforks at shiver and/or big mam for even dare winning only once or twice cuz i hate how these sad indivduals have fallen over the past year tbh when they cant even treat them all with respect for once just as they deserve ;-;

dont get me wrong idc if frye won like once or twice or that the part where she wom again was kinda wholesome too in a sense but im saying this as some1 who thankfully didnt talked abt her 24/7 in the most boring way possible since its in all honesty the frye f^^base thats REALLY at fault here for not only overreacting everytime she just doesnt win as if she doesnt have to do it all the damn time since i feel like it would honestly get tiring if she did but also the fact that i dont appreciate how theyve been unneccessarily harassing any shiver/big man fans at all and also any1 who doesnt pick fryes team 24/7 since these ppl in all honesty are just very petty, overly obsessed with their dumb fantasies for a character that doesnt have to be perfect all the damn time, and hell even going as far to throw a huge ass tyrate over """"""unfair"""""" results screens as well when they cant even do any real math to know how it works besides stacks cuz i think they somehow have some favoratism problem with somehow wanting the same damn idol to win 24/7 cuz even then i barely understand their thought process at all when its literally just complete utter nonsense and also why i despise frye 5t4n5 in the first place for just overall being incredibly delusional and having the most pathetic behavior during turf wars and splatfests too and also why i hope that they lose so badly since they need to understand that their fav is not even anywhere near """"little miss perfect""""" at all and that they should just accept taking Ls for once like a normal human being should as if thats what they should be doing rn instead of getting mad over the most minor ass shit ever

no wonder why most of the oth fanbase is literally chill compared to most of the dc one anyways cuz i srsly think that frye 5t4n5 need to just chill tf out for once and overall just stfu for more than 5 fucking minutes when this ridiculious behavior of theirs has gone off for far too long atp and that i feel like we (ie ppl that are actually normal in a literal sense) should actually do smth abt this for once when the next splatfest happens instead of just letting them be even more pathetically stupid in nature than they already are since i just really want revenge against them so fucking badly u have no idea and i just hope that whenever big man and/or shiver has smth that i can agree with like usual next splatfest then u bet that ill be damn sure to get my revenge against those so called """""frye f^^s""""" one way or another since they really dont deserve anything anymore and ik not every f^^ of fryes is like this but its really rare to see any actual normal frye f^^s that arent miserable for no reason 24/7 tbh when even if i would be on like aliens, milk chocolate, wisdom or whatever without havimg to be on the same team 24/7 then i still wont tolerate their sad behavior at all when theyre in all honesty the reason why no1 cant be normal and have a good time for once unless ur from the japan side of things that i wish was just as chill as here in murica tbh and that its literally fryes f^^base thats THE problem and only the problem when most of the assholes there are unfortunately too problematic to even do anything fun and enjoyable anymore and therefore the reason why ppl need to just step up their game, take Ls like a normal person would/embrace losing, and just treat ALL deep cut members like equals for once without any dumbshit toxicity abt a harmless group of idols that barely did anything wrong other than existing in a fictional squid/octo game series thats meant to be played for fun whatsoever ;-;

basically reason number who knows anymore as to why i think theres no need for any hatred or unneccessary overpraise towards shiver, frye, and big man when ALL of them should be treated like a normal friendly silly trio of bandits for once instead of doing some unneccessary war abt them over quite literally the most ridiculious ass shit ever to the point where its literally no secret as to why most off the hook fans act better than those idiots do anyways if u dont count any idiots who treat shiver and pearl like """"guys"""" for no reason despite being lesbians as if its literally a GIRL ONLY thing and nothing more when it doesnt need to be anymore complicated than shit has already been for a long ass while now unfortunately ;-;

and overall i just hate most of the sploon f^^base in general for being so unneccessarily divded over the funni squid/octo game that in all honesty should be played for the sake of having fun and actually enjoying it for once instead of yelling abt stupid shit that doesnt fucking matter 24/7

this has been another episode of lunas rambles and shit and i hope that nobody throws shades at me over an actual harmless goddamn opinion for once and actually be fucking normal abt it for once istggggggg

[blood-and-better-honey]

post-essay clarity is something so beautiful yet so frightening

[tellafairy]

thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)

coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many do you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.

your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..

the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.

it took me less than two weeks to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.

really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.

1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.

ex: "i really want her waist"

to

"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"

exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.

2. it's yours, so act like it..

ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..

you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...

3. that's literally it

you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.

it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.

as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.

so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....

once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.

yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads

[https-papaya]

such a gentleman — max v.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

( masterlist | guidelines | drop a request )

PAIRINGS: max verstappen x fem!reader

SUMMARY: max' best friend breaks up with her boyfriend in spectacular fashion. maybe this is the push he needs to finally admit he's in love with her.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i'm genuinely blown away by the kindness and support i've received from everybody so far. i was really nervous to start posting here, but you've all been incredible! i hope that you guys enjoy this one as much as i enjoyed writing it — WARNING that this smau involves references to infidelity (not max or the reader). have fun and feel free to send me requests!

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, danielricciardo and others

yourusername what better way to take my mind off things. monaco, you were a dream. next stop...?

view all comments

maxverstappen1 Thank you for being there. 💛

liked by yourusername

user2 hope you're feeling better!

user3 You should totally go on holiday somewhere and just forget about him tbh

yourusername that's the plan 😉

user1 ugh i hope max dropkicks him into next year

liked by maxverstappen1

danielricciardo my offer still stands...

yourusername you're just built different 😔 aus is too hot for me!!

landonorris thanks for convincing max not to order in the sushi platter

yourusername anything for my favourite papaya 🧡

oscarpiastri hey.

yourusername sorry osc, he's got the longevity :( give it a few months?

user4 oSC????

yourusername added to her story

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, landonorris and others

yourusername much needed.

view all comments

user2 the second pic???

user4 omg i cant believe max and her went together sdjhfhdj

danielricciardo and here i thought aus was too hot for you??

yourusername 🫢

user1 oh theyre in love ur honour

user7 showing the ex what he's missing fr

liked by yourusername

landonorris without me??

yourusername next time xx

user3 the fact this means max took the first pic has me spiralling

user5 no way her ex isnt seething over this LMAO

user6 his fault for cheating imo 🤷

liked by maxverstappen1

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and others

yourusername another month, another race. glad to be back 💛

view all comments

user2 no max in the likes?

user3 its over i fear

landonorris supporting the hometown boys, i hope?

yourusername count on it!

user1 and if i speak-

user4 don't.

danielricciardo was the coffee as good as he says?

yourusername even better i promise

user5 HE???

user6 surely-

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, landonorris and others

maxverstappen1 Didn't get the win this weekend, but I won something better.

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

user1 oh my god.

yourusername thank you for loving me ❤️

maxverstappen1 Always ❤️

user4 its so over for her ex BYE-

user3 more affection than her ex ever showed her i know that's right

user2 They're sickeningly cute I can't rn

user5 parents???

danielricciardo fucking finally

landonorris it was almost painful fr

yourusername oh shut up

oscarpiastri no no he has a point

yourusername do you want me to pay for lunch tmr or not??

oscarpiastri i'm willing to take the risk

liked by landonorris and danielricciardo

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

© https-papaya || do NOT rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platforms

[othercrossee]

For me, making Irida and Adaman into their late 20s is actually very good for the development and more history for both of their relationship

[i6eyes]

%% jean kirstein bf hcs !!

pt 2

contains: sfw and nsfw, implied fem!reader (no y/n), established relationship, soft jean teehee, jean’s horse cawk, nothing too graphic tbh

— who knew a fucking stallion will be the one who's going to bring me back from the dead .

sfw

omg omg he's soo tall right

definitely puts his arms around your shoulder, and kisses u on your temple or forehead too

the sweetest !! i feel like he would be so so attentive to u

oooh u did a double take at the dress u guys walked passed by earlier in the mall? woah it's suddenly in ur bed the next day !! :OO

he's a nice cook ! can cook but the best, his expertise are mostly breakfast foods but he can cook you lunch and dinner as long as he has a recipe

oh he'd be absolutely smitten !!!! i luv big scary men being total sweethearts to their s/o

if ur trying some shoes, he'd be the one to do all of the work ! he'd kneel down, take off your shoes, puts on what you chose on you, will be the who's going to take it off too, then will tie or buckle your shoes up for you

or or or, he'd be out alone and he passes by this little store filled with trinkets and stuff. safe to say, he walked out of the store with a silly little keychain he knew you'd like

^^ one of his love language is acts of service

he loves spending time with you. specially the moments where you two just chill and share some occasional kisses here and there

his favorite thing to do is have you lay on top of him while he's laying down and make you talk about your day !! he'd play with your hair and caress your nape and back while you do so :((

he's obviously attractive, but he doesn't know how much

there's so many simple things that he makes attractive

his attentiveness. you'd be in the grocery then he'd suddenly disappear for a while, only for him to come back with arms full of chips and snacks. "these are your favorites, right?" he said while dumping them in the cart, not even waiting for your answer.

oddly specific but the way he leans on every door way. you know the thing where people place their hands on top of a doorway? that, but he subconsciously does it everywhere. omg imagine he fetches you from your house for a date and the moment you open your door, boom! there's jean, towering you with a smile on his face.

he knows how to slow dance, like the ones in the movies where the main characters would suddenly dance in their living room, to which, he did with you!

slow dancing in the living room with jean :(

if you're still in school and he sees you struggling with a subject or school work, he'd help you as soon as he could, specially if it's something he already learned before. but! if that's not the case, he'd take his time to learn what you're having problems with and try to come up with an explanation to make you understand better

he's so lame (affectionate)

nsfw

oh boy

he's not the stallion for nothing

easily one of the biggest cock in the aot verse

usually, i'd be realistic when it comes to sizes, but jean is at 7-8 inches.

hhhhhhgggh, king of dick prints. he's naturally big even when soft, about 5 to 5.5 maybe. < he's a grower

he's such a big man, his proportions are perfect, of course he needs a big fucking cock to go along with it

he keeps his happy trail no matter what happens. he knows it's attractive and knows that you love seeing it on him

^^ up to you whether you want him to shave or trim, he's fine with anything as long as he keeps his happy trail

wide athletic shoulders that he puts your legs at while he's eating you out our splitting you open with his cock

this man's proportions are actually making me insane i don't know how to put my thoughts into words anymore

his hands are big, but not huge or ginormous. it's pretty and rough looking at the same time. his fingers are longer than most men's but are thick enough like the ones most are familiar with when thinking about a man's hand.

his nape is sensitive, simple touches like brushing his hair back will make him shiver. hickeys also show more easily on his neck, just suck on it lightly and there's already a blooming red mark left in its wake.

oh my god, touch his torso or the bottom of his stomach (ehem, close or at his happy trail) and he's gone. it's starting to become an actual problem because there would be completely innocent moments where you touch those places because you need to get pass by him and he'd just suddenly pop a boner on the spot.

*taps mic* soft dom

he absolutely loves praising you, it's an unconscious thing he does

you'd be on your knees, sucking in his cock on your mouth as much as you could, and he'd groan while keeping your hair out of your face using a hand while the other caresses your cheek, wiping away the tears that lay there.

^^ "there we go, knew you could do it.", "fuckin' natural at it.", "think you could take me a little deeper? uh huh? yeah that's my good girl."

im in shambles

he's SOOOOO good with his fingers my GOD.

he knows what it takes to make you cum with his fingers, he has an actual technique it's crazyyy. doesn't prioritize in making it fast or hard or whatever, whether you like it like that or slow, he will follow his own lead on what he thinks will make you feel spineless.

knows the fingers inside you, palm on your clit thing. has made you squirt using it on multiple occasions

while he adores missionary because he loves seeing your face and folding you in half with your legs beside your ears, doing it doggy will always make him carnal

he has a thing for your backkk. he'd grab the one side of your shoulder while he's hitting it from the back, sometimes he'd bruise your hips with his grip instead

will slap your ass. not really in a sub/dom dynamic. he just likes the way he sees his handprint on your ass while you're writhing beneath him

stroke game is unmatched !!!!!!!!!

he doesn't rely on his size alone, this bitch is actually prepared and knows his shit y'all

even if he doesn't or can't push all of him in, he'd work with what he's able to put inside you and god does he do it well

during missionary, expect him to put a pillow under your hips despite his size and knowledge. he want to make you feel the best at any given time

while he doesn't mind if you're a loud moaner or what, he LOVES hearing you whine.

if you're a whiner, boy is it a good time to be ALIVEEEEEE

he founds it so cute and hot <3

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙loyal!! | CL16˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x sports commentator!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: none just fluff

summary: in which a certain someone tries his hardest to convert you to his team !!!

a/n: i barely know what a commentator does Tbh srry if thts problematic anyways enjoy 😃

request!!!: charles leclerc x sports commentator reader

fc: jules leblanc

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername📍 bahrain

liked by yoursister, yourbff, and 118,273 others

yourusername gp weekend!!! my first time covering f1 & had sm fun can't wait for the rest of the season :)))!!

view all 3,183 comments

user1 who is she

user2 a sports commentator

user3 ur so cool y/n what's ur favourite team in f1!!

yourusername 🫶🫶 im a mercedes girl :))

user4 SO REAL

user5 love to see more girlies on the paddock

yourbff go offffffff!! so proud

liked by yourusername

mercedesamgf1 🫶

yourusername 🙈🙈🙈

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, mercedesamgf1, and 77,018 others

user6 ahhhhh cant wait to see u this weekend

user7 new favvv

charles_leclerc sorry i missed you last week y/n, hope to meet you this weekend

yourusername oh for sure this time!!

user8 SO EXCITED

yourusername 📍 jeddah

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 204,321 others

yourusername my life is so fun!!

tagged: mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc

view all 8,274 comments

user9 omg hi charles???

user10 merc girlieeee

charles_leclerc so nice to finally meet you y/n!

yourusername you too!!! had a great weekend!

user11 omg cuteee

user12 love seeing her become friends with drivers lol

user13 she's so beautiful omg

mercedesamgf1 thanks for visiting us!

yourusername omg thank you so much for the invite and the merch too im starstruck fr

user14 she's just like us

user15 charles is so yum

liked by yourusername

user16 not y/n liking this comment 💀💀💀

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 398,614 others

mercedesamgf1 back off leclerc she's ours

charles_leclerc we'll see about that

mercedesamgf1 😡😡

user17 OMG HELLO??

user18 looks suspiciously like a date

user19 yoohoooo

user20 what's going on here

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, and 131,839 others

mercedesamgf1 🫶🫶

liked by yourusername

user21 obsessed

user22 CUTE GIRLLL

charles_leclerc boooooo 🍅🍅🍅🍅

yourusername im not sorry mr ferrari

charles_leclerc does our friendship mean nothing to you 💔

yourusername sooo dramatic!

charles_leclerc 📍 suzuka

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 883,417 others

charles_leclerc some non race related adventures in japan 🇯🇵

tagged: pierregasly, yourusername

view all 14,273 comments

user23 omg y/n hellooo???

user24 posting each other on the grid how sus

user25 are they dating LOL

user26 surely not just hard launching immediately they met like a month ago ...

user27 she's everywhere

pierregasly glad to make it on the grid post 🫡

charles_leclerc because i look good in the picture

pierregasly oh.

user28 LOLLL

yourusername so fun!!! 😝

liked by charles_leclerc

user29 she calls everything fun

user30 she's rizzless 😔

yourusername 📍 shanghai

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff, and 294,617 others

yourusername your fav merc girlies

tagged: yourbff

view all 12,193 comments

user31 she's so hot

user32 i'd do anything for her

user33 she's literally iconic

yourbff HOT HOT HOT 🥵

yourusername ur influence tbh i need to take u everywhere with me from now on

yourbff real. i am free everyday from now on

mercedesamgf1 we are here once again 🙏

yourusername WE LOVE UUU

yourbff fr we do

mercedesamgf1 blushing right now... 🥰

charles_leclerc take that hat off

yourusername never

charles_leclerc i sent you something much better

yourusername im not going to wear ferrari merch charles we've been over this!!

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1wagupdates 📍 miami

liked by yourbff, user34, user3, and 89,174 others

f1wagupdates starting off the grand prix weekend in miami with a sighting of charles leclerc with a mystery brunette 👀 thoughts?

view all 8,266 comments

user40 IT HAS TO BE Y/N

user41 y/bff/n liked omg

user42 who is that

user41 y/n's best friend!!

user43 omg charles and y/n this is NOT A DRILL

user44 NO WAY

user45 that is y/n. i've never been so sure of anything in my life

user46 our ferrari convert 😛

f1gossip 📍 emilia-romagna

liked by user40, user12, yourbff, and 104,418 others

f1gossip charles leclerc once again spotted looking cosy with a brunette girl, this time in italy. could this be y/n y/l/n?

view all 11,061 comments

user47 AGAIN

user48 why has it been crickets since miami 😭😭😭😭😭

user49 i need confirmation

user50 obsessed with y/bff/n liking all the posts about them

user51 they're doing all this in public but wont even post on instagram

user52 waiting for y/n to post selfies in ferrari merch

user53 no way that girl is mercedes thru & thru!!

user54 real

yourusername posted a story

liked by mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63, and 301,283 others

user55 that's our merc girl

mercedesamgf1 we knew you would always find your way back to us

yourusername i never left 😘

user56 loyal queen

charles_leclerc & here i was, thinking i made a ferrari fan out of you

yourusername maybe you should move to mercedes

charles_leclerc why would you joke about such things?!

lewishamilton our girl

liked by yourusername

georgerussell63 i bet charles is so jealous right now

yourusername he's mad because i told him to switch teams

georgerussell63 🫣🫣🫣

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 683,912 others

user57 this is a confirmation in my eyes

user58 this is not a "just friends" type of post

user59 in monaco with her🥹🥹🥹

user60 she doesn't even know she's mrs ferrari now

yourbff wtf she's beautiful

charles_leclerc you're telling me

yourusername 📍 monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 532,718 others

yourusername 🌹

tagged: yourbff, charles_leclerc

view all 12,328 comments

user61 THEY'RE SO DATING

user62 THE ROSE

user63 omg she even drives a mercedes

user64 a regular ass commentator friends w drivers or not would NOT be posting this type of thing unless she was DATING CHARLES LECLERC!!!

yourbff beautiful

yourusername ❤️

charles_leclerc ferrari red 🏎️❤️

yourusername 🤔 i'll let you have this one

charles_leclerc i won!!!

yourbff mercedes 1238 - 1 ferrari

mercedesamgf1 😛😛😛

user65 i think it's obvious guys

yourbff posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 55,203 others

charles_leclerc that's my girl 😂

yourbff expose her

charles_leclerc 👀

yourusername ARE YOU TRYING TO EXPOSE ME

yourbff you expose yourself!!!

mercedesamgf1 oh???

yourbff dont worry about it!

user66 is that our merc girlie y/n ?!?!!

charles_leclerc

liked by yourbff, scuderiaferrari, and 891,374 others

charles_leclerc my favourite ferrari fan ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all 18,294 comments

user67 LOL no way

user68 she's just a girl ok she couldn't resist forever !!!

mercedesamgf1 no way...

yourusername i still love you guys i swear

georgerussell63 i gasped out loud

yourusername NO PLEASE LOOK AWAY

lewishamilton wow

yourusername IM SORRY

user69 poor y/n fighting for her life in the comments

scuderiaferrari she looks good in red 🌹

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername

yourusername you're finished!!!!!

charles_leclerc yea yea sure, see you at home

user70 HOME!? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

THE END ❤️

[lewisvinga]

no me importa | lewis hamilton x fem! reader

summary; when a recent video exposes y/n and lewis’ relationship, other people think they can comment on their age gap, but at the end of the day y/n and lewis will always love each other

fc; cindy kimberly

warnings; age gap , mentions of 18+ themes

notes; loosely based off of mayor que yo by wisin & yandel and mayor que usted by natti natasha, daddy yankee, wisin & yandel :p , also reader is kinda implied as latina but it’s not important

me 🤝 writing smau’s abt dating older men

masterlist !

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and 1,020,047 others!

yourusername: made vegan alfredo for me n bae, definitely went into a food coma after

tagged; lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco

lewishamilton: wifey material

yourusername: yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

lewishamilton: it was amazing, love ❤️

yourusername: i put my blood sweat n tears into that alfredo, it better have been damn well amazing😕 ( thank u love💗💗)

username: so this is a confirmation?

username: girl did u not see the video, they were shoving their tongue down each others throat ???😦😦

username: cute but age gap is still icky to me 😕

username: tbh dating someone 13 years older than me is weird asf 😭

rosecoelovescoco: thank’s you’s

yourusername: ur welcome if u stop chasing lunita around 😕

lewishamilton: he is just a baby!

yourusername: so is my gatita lunita , she’s a scaredy cat , literally !!😞

username: she’s so pretty in everything what😞

username: 😍😍😍

lilymhe: cook for me next? 😏😏

yourusername: give me the time n place😉

username: ok but her learning how to make vegan pasta for lewis?? is so??? cute ????🥹🥹

username: he’s a grown man n 13 years older, he can cook for himself

username: it’s never that serious

liked by username, username, and 93,038 others!

f1upadates: Lewis Hamilton and Y/n L/n were both spotted at the British Fashion Awards after confirming their relationship. Thoughts on the new grid couple?

tagged; lewishamilton, yourusername

username: the fact she designed her outfit n did her hair and makeup 😩🙌

username: they’re such a good looking couple even if he’s like 13 years older than her 😭

username: i need her skincare routine!😩

username: be 13 years younger than your boyfriend helps!

username: she’s so desperate that she needs to date someone older than her? how embarrassing 💀💀

username: her parents must be so disappointed…

username: why? shes a model w her own fashion line dating a 7x (8x) world champion, they’ll be fine😭

username: y’all coming at her for dating someone older like you wouldn’t date your faves who are also older!! she’s just living the y/n life

username: REAL

yourusername posted to their story!

trans. for lyrics ; and i don’t care if i’m younger than you

liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 1,230,937 others!

lewishamilton: heard she likes señores [sirs]

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: sir lewis hamilton 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

landonorris: i can’t take you calling him sir every 5 seconds pls stop i beg

georgerussell63: ‘yes, sir’ THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE ( lando )

landonorris: wait-

yourusername: sorry not sorry, unless you’re a sir you wouldn’t get it 😁

lewishamilton: what she said😁

yourusername: mi amor, te quiero 💗 [my love, i love you]

lewishamilton: i love you🩷

username: idk if i want him or her tbh🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

username: she’s so😍😍

username: i’d call him sir any day i get her fr

username: they’re such an attractive couple😩

username: how’d lewis bag her im being so fr

username: bc they’re both fine as fuck 😍

username: mis padres [my parents]

username: mami y papi fr [mommy & daddy]

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and 1,023,044 others!

yourusername: no me importa q usted sea mayor q yo. [i don’t care if you’re older than me]

tagged; lewishamilton

lewishamilton: wait, when did you take the second picture?

yourusername: baby i got a whole folder of those type of pictures, i take them every chance i get

username: SHARE W THE PUBLIC HELLO??

yourusername: y/n.jpg but it’s just pics of lewis’ back

lewishamilton: i love you❤️

yourusername: i love youuuu💗

username: the hand pics i’m going insane 😵‍💫🥴

username: ou that back pic, i’m going ferallll

lilymhe: omg bae stop posting pics of me 🙈🙈🙈

yourusername: ur too cute my bad😪

lewishamilton: stop stealing my gf

alex_albon: gf stealer !

username: the 3rd pic🥹🥹

username: yall need a third??

username: i can take them both ( not in a fight )

georgerussell63: if only he could look at me like he looked at u in the last picture 🕊️🕊️🕊️

lewishamilton: i will if you look like y/n

yourusername: my bad i’m too cute 😁

carmenmmundt: merc double dates now??

yourusername: uh duh, merc wags stick together 🫶

[onetoomanyfandomfixations]

Helluva Boss Characters Reacting to You Asking for a Hug

Tbh this series is just for my own enjoyment at this point lmao

I’m so normal about them, I swear.

BLITZØ

Honestly, it depends on what type of relationship you have with him

Familial relationship? Best BELIEVE he’s coddling the shit outta you rn

^ def a cheek pincher

“Hey sweetie? Do you need me ta fuck someone up for ya?”

But if y’all are platonic, or SATAN FORBID

R O M A N T I C ?

Ur not getting Shit

Well, until you start crying

“You’re a fuckin’ baby, you know that?”

Very casual hugs

Always sits his chin on you

Will complain the entire time

But you both know he loves you

LOONA

“Oh shit, you good?”

She’s blunt, not heartless

Honestly pretty touched that you asked for a hug instead of just going for one

Like her adoptive dad, very casual hugs

Usually just slings an arm over your shoulders

Won’t talk to you about it

Y’all just sit in comforting silence

Don’t let anyone point out that she’s letting you touch her

Will get v flustered

Depending on how you both feel - may let you play with her hair to self regulate

MILLIE

“Sure thing, hun!”

Doesn’t matter who you are, or why you need a hug, she’ll take it

Physical affection is her top love language idc

Squeezes super super tight

Like, you can barely breathe

Gushes over how sweet you are

Will probs pepper your face in kisses too (doesn’t matter what ur relationship with her is)

((Millie is a strong believer in non-romantic kisses, she told me herself))

Will probs ask Moxxie to bring y’all a drink

MOXXIE

“Uhh, you sure you want a hug from me?”

Yes babe I’m sure

Doesn’t think he’s the best one to be comforting you - will palm you off to Millie if he can

But will be offended if anyone else says he can’t look after you

^^ Gets all huffy about it

Distraction is his new best friend

Will tell you a mixture of stories and fun facts to try and make you feel better

Will also make you a hot drink

If you want to, will talk out your feelings with you

STOLAS

Babes just blinks for a hot minute as your words register with him

Has the softest smile

“Of course, dearest. Come here.”

A hug isn’t enough for him, you’re in for a full blown cuddle sesh now

Likes the feeling of having you fully wrapped up in his arms

Forehead kisses. Forehead Kisses.

Will sometimes swaddle you in blankets like a literal baby

Hums softly for you

Tries to ask what’s wrong, will def push the subject

He just wants to fix it, okay?

Will just,,, smother you in affection until you’re okay

And then some

OCTAVIA

Judgemental eyebrow raise.

Judgy, judgy girl

Y’all gotta be CLOSE for her to hug

((But not really, she’s so touch starved its not funny, but we don’t talk about that-))

Long, comforting hugs

If u end up crying, will fix your makeup for you

Don’t mention it though

Like, literally don’t mention it or it won’t happen again

She probs just breathes a sigh of relief when y’all hugs

Holds on a little too tight, for a little too long

If you ask first, she’ll start coming to you for hugs now too

FIZZAROLLI

Baby. Baby, baby man.

Will wrap his arms around you several times over

Another really tight hugger

You had shit to do?

Sike, not anymore

Now you’re spending all day with Fizz

Your fault, you started it by asking for a hug

Is super worried about you, but tries to play it down

Will do stupid shit just to see you laugh

Will ALSO flirt with you until you can’t stand it anymore

ASMODEUS

Immediately concerned, does not try to hide it

Much like his bf, cancels all plans for today

Y’all are gonna be chilling in bed and cuddling now

Just kinda,,, scoops you up?

Definitely plays with your hair

Gives a SOLID head massage

So so gentle and sweet

Just lays you on his chest

Draws pictures on your back and makes you guess what he’s drawing

^^ he does this to help ground you

Tbh he’ll probably drag Fizz to bed too, so know they’re both looking after you

Mans isn’t gonna let anyone get left out

[11cupids-tarot11]

How would your future spouse treat you on your moon cycle? <3

I was having such bad cramps when this question suddenly hit me and I figured we'd all love to know, right? Even though I get very cranky and like to be alone during my time of the month hehe.

1 -> 2

3 -> 4

Pile 1- Wheel of fortune, queen of wands, queen of swords.

So this person will literally try to pamper you, whatever that may look like for you. I'm hearing they'll respect all of your boundaries and will grant all of your wishes, they're very supportive. I'm hearing they don't like seeing you in pain and they understand how uncomfortable this time frame is for you.

I think this person is naturally caring and easily can read human emotions and they're giving therapists vibes tbh like they could work in that field or maybe for some I'm picking up on massage therapists, this person just seems like they know humans enough like maybe they studied it or it could just means they've studied you so well they know what you need (I said 'want' at first but was directed to switch it to 'need'. Someone's fs here likes being in charge lol) . Either way, I think they'd love to be your massage therapist around this time. I'm hearing anything to make you feel good.

THEY WILL LITERALLY TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN, pamper you, spoil you.

I'm hearing for some, around your moon cycle you get mood swings maybe? Your entire energy changes enough for this person to catch on and they'll know before/when you're on your period because of this. Maybe you're usually very chill and calm and around this time you're just more cranky than usual like me lol and your person will try very hard to just make sure your okay and not taking their head off? Lol, the way your person talks is very funny, they're very funny and so so sweet!

I think this person will treat you so well simply because they love you, you're their baby and they respect you so much. You're literally their queen. They love you so so much 😍 they want me to leave this rose emoji for you 🌹 (I think they're very giving, it's just in their nature 😭)

Other messages- my sweet girl, lots of chocolate and warm towels, hugs and I'm picking up on those who would rather be left alone for moments at a time they understand, they'll check up on you occasionally and will still be very affectionate (u can't refuse their hugs I'm hearing no escape lol 🤣😭 they're very cute. I think they like compliments? They might blush and smile a lot?) The type to randomly kiss ur forehead or cheek when ur literally just ✨chillin✨ just because.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 2- Ace of swords, temperance, the fool and the hermit.

So I think this person actually doesn't know much about a women's cycle, I think for a specific few they're the only child or maybe they just didn't grow up around a lot of feminine energy so this just isn't their field but I'm hearing they'd try damn hard to make sure everything's okay!

They'd follow your lead on this, like they prefer to maybe watch you from afar during this time? Like sometimes they don't know if they should bother or if they could help at all so they'll probably just straight up ask if there's anything they can do. This person isn't immature about it, but they do feel a bit awkward during those days? (I'm actually dying at ur person, they hardly know how to describe anything?)

Okay, for example, say you're having very bad stomach cramps and you've been in bed all day complaining, they would probably let you stay in bed as long as you'd like and would peek their head in the doorway to silently check up on you because they don't know if they should disturb you or not.

I think they'd love it if you just told them or ask for anything you need, I think they'd rather you rest and use them as a servant 😜 (ur person wanted me to add that, they felt very serious until now? I'm dying) until you feel better, they'll try different approaches tho, I don't think it'll always be this awkward. I think when you two have been together for awhile they'll pick up. I think then they'd mix up their own home remedies, and their own strategies by now, they're not very specific on what this could be or what it could look like because I think this person doesn't really want you to know?

They really want you to feel cared for and like they're there for you as much as possible so they're constantly thinking of new ideas for you!

This is not an 18+ reading and take it how it resonates but I think a very selective few wouldn't mind having intercourse on their moon cycle? 👀

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 3- Death, Ace of coins, The tower, Page of wands

This pile feels different, I was getting the energy of your person being shy and excited to have their turn for the reading 🤣 maybe this person isn't someone who you see romantically at first, could be a roommate a friend but you do know this person or they will come into your life at some point and you guys will have some kind of friendship from the start. It's giving secret admirer tho.

With the death card I'm thinking y'all could've just made it official, it feels like this is something new to them. Maybe it makes them feel a step closer to you? They think it's very cool you're trusting them enough at a time like this. They really value it.

I think they'll be the type to really go all in, ask you probably 20x a day "What do you need?" I saw that scene from Aladdin, when the genie is explaining how tired he is of being in the lamp and he's like "What do you need?Poof! What do you need? Poof!"

This person is trying to charm you and maybe show you they really care for you by doing this, I'm hearing 365 days a year they'll be like this tho, not only when you're on your moon cycle. I think they want you to be vulnerable with them or can't wait to see more vulnerable sides of you.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 4- The moon, Kight of coins, Temperance, Kight of swords.

My pile 4's energy is different, I think this person could be older than you? This person overall isn't someone who's very cuddly or could even be very hard to read so moments like these really show that side of them in their own way?

For example, say you ran out of pads but your stomach hurts too bad to go get them yourself, your person wouldn't be thrilled to shop in the women's section but for YOU they will, they'll go get your pads and make sure they're the right size and everything (I'm hearing he'll literally call you and ask what size he should get).

They're very serious when it comes to you, they have dedication and it shows in the oddest ways possible.

So for your time of the month they'd be very chill about, the other piles felt all jittery and nervous like they were scared to mess up but your person is smart, he'll break down those walls for you, if you just want to cuddle in bed they'll hold you as long as you like. I'm hearing they're actually kind of "softer" at the right times (I'm sorry I can't think of a better word right now)

You'll love how this person will treat you and your needs and I'm hearing symptoms as well, they're very comfortable and reliable. He's like your big giant teddy bear! 🧸

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

[blueberrymocha]

texting them

gon

✰ he didn’t grow up with much technology

✰ and he def did not have a phone

✰ so since he isn’t in the habit of using it often, your messages are all on delivered

✰ he also prefers to live in the moment instead of checking his phone all the time

✰ unfortunately for you that means you’re better off calling the person he’s with if you need to reach him

✰ once you talk to him about it though, he’ll be sure to answer within a couple hours

✰ he’d save your contact as a pet name, personally i can see him using “sunshine” or “honey” for you

✰ you’d be pictureless until killua points it out to gon and explains that you can add pictures to someone’s contact

✰ but once he does learn he’ll use a cute coupley picture of you guys from one of your first dates

✰ would have trouble deciphering your abbreviations

“btw ur gna be back asap right?”

“huh.”

✰ its fine, he prefers to call (loves to hear your voice) anyways

killua

✰ y’all would be so mischievous together

✰ prank calls as a weekly ritual

✰ you’re mostly safe from them but don’t think he’ll never do it to you

✰ probably won’t text you first but always responds within the minute

✰ would only call if he’s checking up on you, like when you’re sick or he’s on an adventure

✰ will use the most abysmal, disrespectful picture he has of you

✰ your name on his phone is either an inside joke or an insult like “sleeping ugly 🧚‍♀️” (he’s out for blood omg you overslept once)

✰ i just know alluka is confused af

✰ he’ll change it to something else whenever you see it, which you will eventually

“y/n can you check my phone?”

“sure! babe why is my name ‘dumbass’ heart emoji, wizard emoji?”

kurapika

✰ you can see this one from a mile away…

✰ his phone always got that silent mode + dnd + texts muted combo

✰ he does all that but would fully expect you to pick up if he called you

✰ speaking of which, he would call probably daily if either of you were away

✰ never forgets an “i love you” “be safe” “see you soon” etc

✰ if something happened, would want you to know that

✰ you guys would fall asleep on calls

✰ but mostly him

✰ your contact might just be your name for a while

✰ but i could also see him using something tame like “love” or “sweetheart”

✰ hes also the type to leave you on read

✰ especially if you’re asking when he’ll be back or how his mission is going

✰ generally just keeps his work separate from home unless he needs to vent or it’s extremely relevant to you

leorio

✰ wishes he could talk more often

✰ school just keeps him really busy

✰ will be upfront with you if he needs time to study, make dinner, or anything of that nature

✰ you’d get in the habit of leaving voicemails

✰ he listens to them all and leaves some for you too

✰ also good morning and good night texts, always

✰ your picture is whatever picture of you he finds the hottest tbh

✰ your name would be a pet name such as “shorty” or “beautiful”

✰ idk why but i feel like he’d misplace his phone often

✰ so if he doesn’t respond by the end of the day, you’ll probably get a call from his roommate’s phone saying how he lost his own

hisoka

✰ lets it ring out and then calls back a minute later

✰ “oh did you need something?”

✰ this man can’t stop playing games, the call cuts off halfway through what you’re saying

✰ then he calls back again acting like it was the wi-fi

✰ don’t worry——that’s only like a quarter of the time

✰ depending on his mood, he’ll be mostly serious

✰ imagine the look on his face when he realizes you’re calling because you’re in the hospital or smth

✰ yeah so he’s better at responding now!

✰ your contact picture is gonna be from the most stalker angle

✰ like it’s just you sleeping

✰ you found that a little odd but maybe your clown just wants to capture those memories

✰ …while you’re walking home on the opposite sidewalk

✰ if you’re in a longer, serious relationship, your name is something romantic like “my dove” but it’ll take a while to get there

illumi

✰ you’d be so surprised to find that he loves to call

✰ he travels a lot as an assassin, so he needs something to do

✰ would always text you formally it’s scary

“have you arrived at the manor yet, y/n? be sure to notify me immediately once you do.”

✰ he’s giving you customer service type responses

✰ you’ll also get updates about his missions

“i’ve just finished killing the target, expect to see me home in four days”

✰ the contact is just your name and if you convince him, he’ll add a picture of your choice

chrollo

✰ has like six phones

✰ if you didn’t know he was the leader of a gang you might‘ve thought he was cheating

✰ you also have the numbers of most of the spiders

✰ so if he ever has to disappear (like after yorknew) they’ll be sure to let you know what’s going on

✰ he’ll text you a few times a day if he’s able to

✰ would ask about your day and remind you to take care of yourself

✰ the conversations usually focus on you, while he listens or prompts you

✰ like kurapika, doesn’t want to involve you in troupe business so it’s very rare for him to even mention them

✰ he doubts you even want to hear about how he robbed an old man today, or killed a woman who didn’t hand over a jewel

✰ on his top secret personal phone, he’ll give you a contact photo with both of you in it

✰ your name would be a classy pet name, maybe “princess” or “beloved”

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

ethan and reader doing a sex tape?? also don’t know if ur comfortable but can you do a full detailed one??! please and tyy have a good day🙏🏻

I am SO SORRY it took so long to write this(a little over a month. I feel like an ass). It's literally 4.4k words, strictly smut with a dash of fluff. I kinda went in on this lmao

Into It - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: Your boyfriend convinces you to make a sex tape with him.

Contains: Long ass smut lmao - Oral, m and f receiving, fingering, multiple orgasms, a little ass smacking, p in v, multiple position changes, unprotected sex. (If I missed something, let me know. I'm SO SLEEPY rn)

A/N: If there's any grammatical errors, shh no there's not. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open tbh 🙃

“I don’t know about this, Ethan,” you mumbled, as he helped you take your shirt off.

“No one else will see it but us, babe,” he said, trying to convince you. “People do stuff like this all the time.”

“Yeah, on porn sites,” you sighed, as he unhooked your bra.

“You’re way better than any of the other girls on those sites, baby. Watching you take my cock whenever I want to would be so hot,” he said, running his hands over your newly exposed breasts. You felt a chill run down your spine as his fingertips started to graze over your nipples.

“Fine,” you sighed in defeat, his fingers trailing further down your body, “but if anyone else sees it Ethan-“

Your words got stuck in your throat as he started to rub you over your panties.

“What was that, baby?” he asked, his lips turning to a smile as he watched you squirm. “You were just about to threaten me, I think.”

“Don’t be an ass,” you got out, your breath heavy as he slid your panties to the side. “Can we at least get on the bed?”

“Yeah, baby. I’ll get my phone set up,” he said, as he pulled his hand away from you. He looked around the room as you crawled onto the bed. “Hmm, this might work…for now,” he said, walking over to the bookshelf in your room. “At least while I’m teasing you.”

“What if I don’t want you to tease me?” you asked, a smirk playing on your lips as he turned around to look at you.

“You and I both know you like it,” he said, before turning back around and getting his phone set up. He pulled his shirt over his head after he was satisfied with the angle, the view of your bed perfectly in frame.

You stared at him as he walked around to the other side of the bed. You’d seen him without clothes so many times, but you always had to admire how hot he was.

Once he stood against the side of the bed, you wanted to put on a little show for the video he was making. You got on all fours, your ass sticking up as you started to unbuckle his belt. His eyes drank in the sight, loving the way your body looked in that position. He thought you always looked perfect, but there was just something about the way you looked in that moment that desperately made him want to fuck you even more than he already wanted to.

You unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his thighs as he kicked them off the rest of the way, leaving him in his boxers as he crawled on the bed with you. You saw how hard he already was, the small wet spot on his boxers from his precum made your mouth water.

You sat on your knees as he leaned in to kiss you, his mouth gently moving against yours, at first. He soon had you pushed back on the plush comforter, his tongue dancing with yours as one of his hands started to roam your body, his touches making your skin tingle.

He trailed kisses along your jaw, down your neck as you whimpered at the feeling. You felt him smile against you before his mouth started to attack your sweet spot.

“Fuck, Ethan,” you said, as he started to suck on the sensitive flesh.

You knew you’d have to cover the mark later, but you didn’t care. You loved the little reminders he’d leave of how good he made you feel.

He moved lower, placing tender kisses along your collar bone.

“You really are going to tease the fuck out of me, aren’t you?” you asked, the desperation in your voice making him laugh softly.

“Patience, baby,” he said, as his mouth made its way to one of your nipples.

He sucked it into his mouth as you gasped, the feeling making your core throb even more than it already was. Once he was satisfied with the attention he gave to it, he moved to the other one, his tongue swirling against it before he started to suck.

He could tell your pussy was craving attention when your hips started to wiggle. He ran his hand gently down your body until he made it to your soaked panties.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he said, as you whined in response. “I’ll make you cum soon, babe. I promise.”

He pulled his hand away as you started to get frustrated, your pouty lips making him smirk when his hooded eyes connected with yours. He shook his head at your expression, turning his attention back to the teasing, his lips trailing between your breasts and down your stomach. You ran one of your hands through his hair as he made his way down your body, him groaning against you as he felt your nails against his scalp.

“You know what that does to me,” he said, as he stopped at the top of your panties.

Your breathing got heavier as you waited in anticipation, hoping he’d just slide your panties to the side and take care of you. That’s not what he did, though, his mouth moving towards your thighs instead. Soft moans were slipping past your lips as he kissed the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, his teeth occasionally grazing against you.

He was so close to where you needed him, his mouth as close to your pussy as it could be before, yet again, he skipped over it. He moved to the other thigh, giving the same attention that he gave to the other one.

“Ethan, please. I need it, baby,” you said, your eyes pleading with his as he looked up at you.

“I have a better idea,” he said, as he pulled away from you and slid off the side of the bed onto his feet.

“Where are you going?” you asked before you answered your own question in your head. He went over towards your bookshelf, grabbing his phone.

“Shit, I never started recording,” he said, his tone serious as you scoffed.

“You’re not teasing me like that again right now, I’m sorry,” you said, your tone defensive as he started to laugh.

“I’m just kidding, babe. I got it,” he said, walking back over to the bed. “You think you can suck my cock before I eat you out?”

You wasted no time after he crawled back up on the bed and laid on his back. You grabbed at his boxers, trying to pull them down. You huffed as you looked at him.

“Jeez, babe. You’re so needy,” he said, lifting his hips to make it easier for you to get his boxers off.

“You have no idea how bad I need to cum, but I need this, too,” you said, as his erection sprang free from his boxers, resting against his stomach as your mouth started to water. He had his phone pointed at you as you sat on your knees and started to stroke him, your bottom lip between your teeth as you watched his face.

You knew how badly he wanted you to suck it, but after all his teasing, this was the least you could do to get a small amount of revenge. His eyes got darker, realizing that’s what you were doing. You didn’t stop though, your hand movements got lazier once his breathing got heavier.

“Baby, please,” he said, “I need to feel your mouth.”

You hesitated for a minute, loving the feeling of having the upper hand as you started to move faster. Once you decided that you’d teased him enough, you leaned down, licking the drops of precum that started leaking from his tip. Just as you were about to take him into your mouth, he stopped you.

“Wait, can we do this on the floor? Like, I’m standing and you’re on your knees? I want it to be easier for you to look up at me,” he said, “Is that okay, babe?”

“Mmm, that sounds perfect,” you said, quickly shimmying off the bed and getting in the position he wanted you in before he even had the chance to sit up. He started to smile as he crawled off the bed, the corner of his bottom lip in between his teeth as he looked down at you.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, putting his cherry red tip in front of your mouth. “You’ll look even more beautiful when your mascara starts to run down your cheeks.”

Your breathing got heavier at his words, his phone pointed back at you as you grabbed his cock, rubbing his tip over your lips. You teased him like that for a few seconds before you opened your mouth, sucking on the sensitive head. His free hand ran through your hair as you started to take him in your mouth, inch by inch until you started to gag.

“Just like that, baby,” he said, as you looked up at him. Your cheeks hollowed as you started to move, your throat tightening every time the tip of his cock made it to the back of your mouth. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Your eyes were starting to water as you gagged, your tears threatening to slip out as he started to add small little thrusts into the mix, making you gag even more.

“Aww, look at you, baby,” he cooed, the tears slipping past your lower lash line. He groaned once he saw how wet his cock was from your spit, so proud of you for doing such a good job. The hand that was loosely in your hair started to get a tighter grip, his hips moving a little faster. “Such a good little slut for me.”

You whimpered around him, the throbbing in your core getting unbearable as you started to move faster. You needed him to cum so you could, and it might’ve made you a little selfish, but if you didn’t get your own release soon, you were going to go crazy.

“Shit, baby,” he said, as your red, watery eyes looked into his, “I’m gonna cum.”

It only took a few more times of your warm, wet mouth tightening around him for his hips to falter, his grunts turning into whimpers as you tasted the salty liquid. When you pulled back, his half-hard cock was connected to your mouth by strings of your saliva and his cum mixed together.

“God, baby,” he said, taking in the sight in front of him as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. He made sure that he got the perfect shot of your mascara-stained cheeks before he helped you up off the floor. “That might be the best head you’ve ever given me…does doing it in front of a camera turn you on even more?”

“I know I didn’t want to do it at first, but I wanted to make sure you had the best material for your alone time,” you said with a cracked voice, smiling at him. “I do kind of enjoy it, though.”

“We could always do this again,” he suggested, as you nodded in response. “Okay, babe. I know you need it. Get that pretty little ass of yours up on the bed.”

You did as he said, your head resting against the soft pillows as he laid his phone on the bed and crawled on top of you to kiss you again. His hand rubbed over your panties; the material drenched in your arousal. You whimpered as your hips started to move at the simple touches.

“I think these need to come off,” he said, running his hand over your hip, his thumb hooking around your panties as he started to slide them off you.

His lips trailed over your jaw again, down your neck, and over your stomach. You were almost scared that he was just going to torture you with his teasing again, but he was moving a lot quicker this time, desperate to take care of you.

You stared down at him as he got settled between your legs. “Wait, how do you want this part to be filmed?” you asked, glancing over to his phone beside you on the bed.

“Hmm, I’ll get plenty of shots of your face when I fuck you…why don’t you just film me?” he suggested, as you picked his phone up, pointing it at him as he started to lean in.

Your breath hitched the second he started to place gentle licks to your clit, your free hand going to his hair. “Mmm, feels so good,” you said, his tongue swirling over your bundle of nerves. His hands were massaging the flesh of your thighs as he held them apart, his mouth starting to sloppily move against you.

You couldn’t decide if you wanted to watch him though the phone screen or not, the whole thing making you even more turned on as you felt one of his hands move up your thigh. You soon felt his middle finger prodding at your entrance before he slid it inside of you with ease, your wetness coating him as he started to move it just right.

“Shit,” you gasped, the feeling making your legs tingle.

He moved his finger for a few minutes before he added his ring finger, a low moan slipping past your lips as he started to press them a little harder against the spongy spot inside of you.

He looked up at you, noticing how quick your chest was rising and falling, your moans getting a little louder as he inched you closer to your orgasm.

He sucked your clit into his mouth as he started to move his head back and forth, his curls ticking your thighs.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you whined, your eyes screwing shut as your hand in his hair started to tremble. “Oh my god.” He sucked harder, the stimulation making your legs start to jolt as your orgasm washed over you.

The sucking on your clit turned into soft licks as he worked you through it, his fingers slowing a little anyway because your pussy was clenching them so hard. Once you stopped whimpering, he slid his fingers out before placing one last lick to your clit.

He sat up as he watched you catch your breath, your hands still shaky.

“Did it feel that good, baby?” he asked, grabbing his phone that you must’ve dropped at some point on the bed.

“So good,” you mewled, your hazy eyes connecting with his as you felt his fingertips brushing against your thigh again.

“How many more times do you think you could cum for me?” he asked, your eyes fully opening as you stared at him, your nervousness obvious to him as he started to laugh. “You know after I cum from head, it takes me a while to cum again. You remember the time we went at it for almost an hour?”

“Yeah,” you said, smiling as you thought back to it.

“How many times did you cum in that hour?” he questioned with a smirk, already knowing the answer.

“Four,” you said softly, “We switched positions a lot.”

“Are you okay with us doing that now?” he asked, as you sat up.

“Of course, babe. This is for the little movie you’re making,” you said, the seduction in your voice making him groan.

“Come here, baby.”

He pulled you into a kiss as his hands grabbed your hips, yours running over his chest as the kiss got more heated. He was running through all the positions in his head that he wanted to do, wanting to strategically plan them so it wouldn’t be too much before he had the chance to cum again. He knew that if he went super deep after you’d already had a few orgasms, you started to get really sensitive in those positions, usually tapping out after just a few minutes.

He pulled away to look at you, “How about you ride me first?”

“Okay, babe. Condom or no condom?” you asked, as you pushed him back onto the bed.

“What do you think I want?” he asked, smirking at you.

“No condom,” you said, laughing a little.

He nodded as he bit his bottom lip. “Shit, I almost forgot,” he said pointing his phone at you as you moved to straddle him.

You sat on his thighs for a minute, stroking him as you looked at him. He didn’t say anything, he just kept filming your hand move until you pulled it away. You shimmied up his body, raising up a little as you lined his cock up with your entrance. Once you started to sink down onto him, he kept glancing between you and his phone, making sure it was truly capturing the way your mouth fell open as he stretched you out.

“Mmmm,” you moaned, placing your hands on his chest to stabilize yourself as you started to bounce on his cock. “So big,” you got out, between your heavy breathing.

“So fucking tight,” he groaned, his free hand going to your hip as he helped you move.

He watched your tits bounce as you rode him, your sounds flooding out of your mouth as your nails started to dig into his chest.

“Shit, babe. That feels so good,” he groaned, as you smirked down at him. Ethan liked a little bit of pain from time to time, and you had no problem doing it for him, knowing how hard he’d cum once he’s had enough.

After a few minutes, your bouncing started to slow. Your knees were hurting and your legs were burning, but you felt that familiar feeling starting to build. It gave you enough motivation to chase your orgasm, bouncing even harder than you were before. Ethan’s seen you do this countless times, knowing that you must’ve been close. He moved his hand from your hip to your clit, his fingers rubbing quick circles.

Your ass was slapping against his thighs as you started to whimper, the feeling washing over you like a massive wave.

“Oh shit,” you slurred, drunk off his cock as you tried to keep moving, but it was getting harder to do. His hand moved back to your hip to hold you in place as he fucked up into you.

You slid him out of you as you came down from your high, laying your chest against his as you caught your breath. He felt your hard nipples pressing against him as he sat his phone down and ran his fingertips over your back.

“I hope you’re going to do most of the work for the rest of this, because my legs hurt so bad,” you said, as he started to laugh. You smiled at the vibrations coming through his chest.

“Sure, babe. I have a few ideas, you just need to lay there and take it,” he said, his hand running down your body to squeeze your ass. You moaned at the feeling, your tiredness starting to fade as you sat back up. “You ready to go again?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice still a little tired, “How do you want me?”

“Face down, ass up. Before you get too tired,” he chuckled, “I’m going to get you to hold my phone again for a little bit. I don’t get to see your face that often when I’m deep.”

“Fuuuck,” you groaned at the thought, getting in the new position, and grabbing his phone. Your hips involuntarily wiggled as your ass stuck up in the air, waiting for him to slide inside of you. He softly smacked your ass before he started to line up with your entrance, pushing his cock back inside of you.

You moaned at the feeling, the grip on your hips getting tighter as he started to thrust.

“You take it so fucking well,” he groaned, delivering a harder smack to your ass. He rubbed over your skin to soothe the slight stinging feeling. “You’re so perfect.”

His cock was buried so deep inside of you that it was hard for you to think, let alone form words. He kept saying sweet things to you, your only response to him was your moans getting louder.

He watched your free hand start to claw it the comforter, bunching it up in your hand as you tightly held on to his phone with the other. The coil in the pit of your stomach was getting tighter and tighter as he kept pounding into you. He glanced over to your phone screen, seeing all the hot little faces you were making.

“Shit,” he grunted, as you started to meet his thrusts with your hips. “You gonna cum?”

He looked at the back of your head as you started to furiously nod in response. He went even deeper, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix.

“Watch yourself when you cum,” he ordered, as you whimpered and stared at the phone screen.

Your jaw was slack as your eyebrows knitted together, so close to falling over the edge. He just kept drilling into you, your eyes starting to flutter as the euphoric feeling hit you so hard your entire body was tingling.

“Yes, baby, feels so good” you babbled, as your boyfriend laughed in response at your current state. He loved making you completely cock dumb.

He slid out of you once your walls stopped fluttering before leaning down to place sweet kisses on the red mark on your ass cheek.

“Relax, baby,” he said softly, as he helped you adjust your legs so you could lay flat. “You’ve been doing so good for me,” he praised, rubbing his hand over your back as he sat beside you. “Can you take one more for me?”

“Missionary,” you mumbled into the comforter, making Ethan laugh. “I can’t take much more.”

“I know you can’t. I was starting to get close last time,” he said, “I know it won’t take long if you can handle it.”

“I can, if you help me,” you sighed, your body so relaxed from the multiple orgasms that you were struggling to move on your own.

He took his phone out of your tight grip before he helped you roll over onto your back. Your eyes were so glazed over, your eyes even more beautiful than they normally were.

“Thank you for doing this for me, babe,” he said, smiling sweetly at you as his hands ran over your hips. “I know we’re about to be really busy soon because of exams. This is the next best thing to actually being with you.”

“You better send it to me,” you said, your voice tired as he got settled between your legs.

“The idea of you getting off to this makes it so much hotter,” he sighed, as he pushed his tip in your entrance. “Fuck, I really might not last long. You’re already so tight.”

“It’s okay, babe. Fuck me until you can’t anymore,” you said, rubbing your fingertips across his arm as he made it all the way inside of you.

Your lips parted as soft moans slipped past your lips, his pace a little slower than it had been for the last few positions. He didn’t want to hurt you, and he knew how tired you already were.

“You can go faster, baby,” you said, his hips moving a little quicker as he leaned down to catch your lips in a kiss. He almost forgot about filming, but he wanted to take care of you and make sure that you still felt the love in this, and that he wasn’t doing it just to have the hottest masturbation material for later.

He pulled away from the kiss, sitting on his knees and angling your hips so he could film his cock sliding in and out of you. He groaned once he looked down, noticing a ring of your cum coating the base of his cock from the orgasms he’d already given you.

“God, baby. You’ve already came so much,” he said, his hand running across your stomach as his pace started to get faster. His fingertips grazing against you made you shudder underneath him.

You felt your fourth orgasm of the night building, the slight overstimulation of everything making it so easy for you to cum again. One of your hands snaked down your body to rub gentle circles against your clit, as the other gripped one of your tits, pinching at your nipple as you got closer. You tried to watch him through your hazy eyes, his curls stuck to his forehead and his cheeks a deep shade of pink from all the work he was putting in.

He had his phone angled down to his cock as he felt your pussy tighten around him. Strained moaned were slipping past your lips as he groaned, noticing more of your cum on his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he said, giving you a few more hard thrusts before he pulled out, shooting it from your lower stomach all the way up to your breasts. “That was fucking amazing,” he panted, as he pointed the camera to all the cum on you before stopping the video. “You okay, baby?”

“Mhm,” you said, fighting off the urge to just fall asleep in that moment as he laid down beside you.

“We really need to shower. We’re both so sweaty, and you’re covered in cum,” he said with a small laugh as you groaned.

“Can I just have a couple minutes to rest? I don’t think I can stand long enough to shower right now,” you said, as you felt his fingers lace with yours, his thumb softly rubbing over the top of his hand.

“Yeah, babe. If you doze off, I’ll wake you up,” he said, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

When Ethan got home the next morning, the first thing he did was upload the video he made onto his computer. He started to edit it, only taking out the moments when nothing was actually being filmed. After he watched the video from beginning to end after he’d finished editing it, he was rock hard as he pulled out his phone to text you.

Ethan: If you ever want to drop out of school, I have a new career idea for you…

You: Oh?👀

Ethan: You should see this video. You’d be amazing in porn😏

You: Hmm, maybe I will drop out🧐

Ethan: Don’t get any ideas though. I’m the only one you’d be fucking.

[asapeveryday]

SHOCK FACTOR★彡 PART 3

Previous. Next.

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Rival!Reader

Warnings: swearing, suggestive jokes/language, tension

Summary: having Paige’s number means she can bother you whenever she wants, but maybe a night out with her isn’t a bother at all.

A/n: enjoy guys 😇lmk what you think of this one

YOU

is this paige?

???

Has anyone else given you their number since you got here?

YOU

no…

PAIGE

Aight, so who else would it be then? 🤘🏼

YOU

i should’ve thrown out that napkin tbh!🙂

PAIGE

Ignoring that. How’s the hangover?

YOU

it’s ok. getting coffee helped ig

PAIGE

Having another night out might help too…if u fw that

YOU

with you? id rather die then “fw that” 🙏

PAIGE

Ok rot in ya hotel room see if I care 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seen.

PAIGE

Actually nvm I feel bad for ur miserable ass. U shud fr go out and see what Connecticut has to offer. Ever been to Gianni’s?

YOU

no i haven’t, I’ve only been here for like two days. is it italian food?

PAIGE

Only the best in town 😉 u shud def go

YOU

ugh I would but i have to see if elaine can take me cus my teammates are busy

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

YOU

typing…

YOU CAN FEEL yourself getting socially drained as you text her, at least that’s what you tell yourself. Paige is infuriating and arrogant, which comes with the deadly additions of charisma and the ability to keep you on edge with every word spoken, or even typed.

You’d always known of this, even before your game with her that day. A player like Paige can be hard to come across; perfectly capable, talented and independent yet somehow the best team player out there, sharing passes she can without a doubt make. Why? Because she doesn’t need to prove anything.

It often bothered you, especially since you constantly needed to prove yourself during the start of your college career. You took every shot you could get your hands on, and she gave shots away like candy whilst still having a huge reputation as a player. Obviously it went deeper than that, but the simple fact just stuck to your brain.

You can’t help but recall her face, inches from yours attempting to pry your ball from your grasp. Like she was deserving, like it was hers for the taking. She had made a similar face on the panel where she dissed you soon afterwards, and then again while watching you at the bar, and just before writing her number on the napkin. You wondered if she was making that face right now as she texts you.

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

The text is simple but it summons some sort of unique feeling in you. Paige Bueckers is offering to pick you up in her car, on her night off, and take you to a restaurant. And you, for whatever reason, are considering saying yes.

Sighing to yourself, you weigh your options. Option one: you sit around your hotel alone till your teammates come back, most probably drunk from a bar since it’s a Saturday. Option two: you ask Elaine to take you out once again, even though you’re probably gonna see her the whole week you’re here. Option three: you let the girl who shit-talked you at a post game conference take you out for dinner.

YOU

i guess i should go out. DONT act like ur doing me a favour tho….n if I don’t have fun i’m blocking u.

PAIGE

Drop the addy. I’ll come by in an hour

Seen.

After hurriedly pulling yourself together, taking an Advil, checking out the restaurant’s Instagram and getting ready you can’t help but find your heart steadily hammering inside of you. Paige is coming to your hotel. You’re gonna be in her car. She’s taking you to her favourite restaurant. This has to be the most peculiar thing that has happened all year.

-

The car ride is significantly better then you expected it would be. Paige adamantly seems to prevent any room for awkward silence to seep through, commenting on your outfit and filling the vehicle with music that makes the interior buzz from the volume. She has a free look on her face, chair reclined more then you’d dare if you were in the drivers seat, hair blowing in her face from the windows being down.

“I’m surprised you’re driving me out.” You say, finally airing what was on your mind.

Paige shrugs. “Didn’t feel like drinking today. Plus, I’m in the mood to be generous and show you what Storrs has.”

“If someone told me I’d be hanging out with Paige Bueckers like a week ago, I think I’d be fucking appalled. Or disgusted. Or both.” You laugh.

She chuckles, glancing at you sneakily. “You swear a lot, don’t you?”

“Awe my bad.” You pout, giving her a fake-concerned look. “Forgot you can’t handle a little language.”

“I can handle it,” she grumbles. “I just think cursing is better for specific situations.”

“Like what?”

Paige wets her lips almost sheepishly, but she keeps her eyes straight on the road. “Like sex.”

A beat passes before you respond “Sorry I couldn’t savour a couple words for you and your little kink.”

She looks over at you now, and you meet her gaze as equally as you can. She just lets out a smile, shaking her head to herself as she pulls into the parking lot. You try to ignore the elevator-sinking feeling in your stomach from her words as you get out from the car.

The restaurant is beautiful. It’s cozy, ambient and well decorated. Not too fancy and not too full, just perfect. You’re seated in a more secluded area, per Paige’s request. She orders for you, insisting she knows exactly what to get for the best possible experience.

The food is good, and you don’t feel the need to hide it from Paige, who visibly grows at your praise for the place she picked out.

“So, are you jus in Connecticut for Elaine?” She says.

“Not really.” You reply. “Me and some of the others are just doing a little East Coast road-trip. I wasn’t really interested in coming to Storrs, but it made sense to come by and see her.”

“For a whole week?” She raises her eyebrow. “Seems like you’re close.”

“I was only gonna stay in Storrs for a couple days, then go to Hartford but the girls seem to like it here.” You shrug. “They think it’s cute, being a small town and all, but it’s pretty boring if you’re not a student.”

“It’s better if you’re with fun people.” She smiles.

“I hope you don’t think you’re fun.”

“Compared to Elaine I definitely am.” Paige scoffs.

You can’t help but feel a little more hostility than humour in her tone.

“Do you guys know each other?” You ask, as sly and innocent as you can muster. Paige seems hesitant.

“Nah.” She finally decides. “I mean, we’ve talked before. Ion know her personally.”

“It’s kinda funny, she said she doesn’t pay much attention to you but I think she might have a little crush.” You laugh.

Paige visibly stiffens at this, which catches you by surprise.

In a split second she regains her calm, unbothered composure. “What has she said?”

“Not much.” You shrug. “Just seems a little interested.”

Paige’s jaw clenches for a moment, and you’re not surprised when she changes the subject. “How many people have been on your case since I posted that picture of us from the bar on my story?”

“God, so many.” You laugh, shaking your head. “You?”

“You don’t even wanna know.” She scoffs. “Not sure why everyone was so crazy bout it though, s’not like we were beefing for real.”

“Right!” You say, happy she seems to be on the same page. “It was just some petty crap. I guess people just really were hoping there would be some rivalry.”

You think for a moment, before saying. “Maybe we should keep this drama thing up. Might be fun.”

“It’s a lil too late for that,” Paige shakes her head with a slight smile. “remember how KK and Ice were on live yesterday at the coffee shop? Yeah, we kinda were in the background at some point. People saw us talking.”

“You’re joking.”

“Dead serious. There are edits and everything.”

You rest your head in your hands, elbows on the table, lessening the proximity between you and her. “I only get into these weird ass situations when I interact with you, Paige.”

She sits up in her seat, blue eyes quickly looking you up and down. “Yet you’re still here.”

“Girl’s gotta have fun.” You shrug. Her foot hits yours under the table, her eyebrow raised as if challenging you. You have a sudden thought of going under the table and letting your hands unzip her cargo pants, but instead you just kick her back.

“Wanna go?” She asks. You don’t want to go back to the hotel, and she seems to pick up on it. “The area we’re in is nice. We can walk around a bit.”

You smile and nod. “Split the bill?”

“Fuck no.” She shoots you a look, pulling out her credit card from the back of her phone.

“You cursed!” You exclaim, to which she scoffs.

“I said it’s alright in specific situations.”

Now it’s your turn to scoff. “Well we’re not having sex, are we?”

The way her eyelashes flutter at your question gives you jitters. “Aight, stop talking.” She finally manages to respond. You just send her a look that you hope makes her nervous.

-

“You’re not funny.” She grumbles, attempting to grab your phone from you.

“Back off, Bueckers! I’m serious.” You laugh, sidestepping her with your phone above your head. The street was empty and the lights were on, putting the two of you in a yellow glow against the night. You’d been walking around the neighbourhood, observing houses and learning a bit about Storrs for the past hour.

“Give me your phone, I know you ain’t deleting those.” She huffs, grabbing for your phone. You try to escape her grasp but she’s got longer limbs, so eventually your phone is in her pocket and she’s wearing a proud look on her face.

It’s nice to walk in the quiet of evening, her beside you. You have no idea where you are but you can’t help but trust she can get you back to the car in no time. Not just yet though.

You turn to look at Paige almost shamelessly. There’s just so much to observe with her. Her confident posture, toothy smile, sleek straightened blonde hair, even the baggy cargo pants and sweater. She always looked good, it never failed to annoy you.

“Either your pants are too tight or crazy baggy.” You note. She just raises her eyebrow.

“Sounds like you just want me to take my pants off at this point.”

“Wouldn’t mind a little show.” You reply almost instantly, shocking yourself at the surge of confidence. She doesn’t seem taken aback, in fact she’s intrigued.

“Is that your usual routine? Have a meal out then have a meal at home?”

“Maybe it is.” You shrug. “I never object to a wine n dine.”

“And what exactly would you object to?”

“Cocky girls who think they’re the shit.” You say, turning your head to face her. You don’t mean to target her, but she simply smiles.

“Is it really being cocky if I can back it up though?” Paige asks quietly. You’re not walking anymore, stuck in place on an empty path between buildings. She’s closing in on you until your back hits a brick wall. The way Paige is staring down at you, hands in her pockets, lip between her teeth. It’s nothing you’d object to, ever.

“I won’t believe it till I see it.” You mutter, holding her eye. The air is tense in a new way that you haven’t felt with her since you first met in the bar. Her face is entrancing.

Paige’s hands lift your jaw upwards, and she leans into your ear. “You might not see it,” she mumbles, breath hot against your skin. “But you’ll definitely feel it.”

When she pulls back from your ear she stays hovering just above you, hands chastely holding your head up. You’re in the perfect position to kiss, and you can’t stop your eyes from darting between her electric stare to her lush, pink lips.

You can literally feel her breath on your mouth when a piercing ring cuts through the moment. It’s coming from her pocket, and she pulls out your phone. Paige’s face twists as she reads the screen. “It’s Elaine.”

“Just- just decline it.” You rush out, not caring how desperate you sound. You can feel how wet you are, and the lack of heat against you is blaring.

“She texted you too.” Paige scoffs. “She’s waiting for you at your hotel.”

You don’t even know what to say. Paige’s face is expressionless. You’re disappointed, but there’s no point in begging. Nothing really happened.

“Let’s get you home.” She says, starting to walk back from where you came. “Shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Her tone is dripping with toxicity. It makes you shiver.

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.