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melancholysway · 2 years

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Holy nunchuuuuuuucks, I can't believe I'm here again, why do you have to tempt me so?! Anyway! 2007, the turtles' SO bonds with Splinter and for a while everything is incredibly good but then here comes the awkward childhood photo or memory!

Got you! so sorry for the wait, college is overwhelming rn but when is it not tbh

I haven't forgotten about the other requests ya'll have sent me btw! I'm just getting it done at a snail's pace LMAO

TMNT 2007 Imagines: Embarrassing Photos

I’m doing this formatted to where the S/O meets Splinter! There’s a fic at the end with your turtle of choice :)

Key: --- followed by italics = flashback is happening or ending

Leonardo

Leo has an awkward photo of him drooling while sleeping as a kid

Though that habit is long gone, he still shudders at the thought

Cannot believe he used to drool until he saw the photo

Brings it up one day when talking to you about each other’s childhood memories

“I um…I used to drool as a kid.”

He used to sleep in a big pile of pillows and blankets with the rest of his brothers, but he would always wind up being cuddled with Donnie, as he moved the least in his sleep (mikey kicked, HARD.)

He doesn’t tell you about the PHOTO master splinter has of it

This is early on in the friendship turned relationship, and when you get comfortable talking to Master Splinter for long periods of time (it was scary in the beginning, because, well, he was a giant rat who could read literally anyone,) he does his favorite thing: whip out the photo album

While Leo is in the dojo meditating, the others joke around and tell Splinter to show the Leo photos

And he does

And oh, he doesn’t hold back.

Raphael

Raphael had a teddy bear when he was younger

He was emotionally attached to that thing, seriously

Not really an awkward memory, but embarrassing for him

Splinter remembers Teddy all too well, seriously.

He has a photo of Raph and Teddy somewhere, though Raph never told you about it at all

“Teddy!” - 6 year old Raph

Oh, Teddy.

Attachment issues incoming

Wouldn’t let splinter wash it because he didn’t want Teddy to get hurt

He had to steal it from him while he was sleeping just to wash him

Raph literally could tell the difference right away and got sad

It reflects on him now, Raphael (as much as he may deny it) doesn’t like being lonely. He likes to have someone there (either to bother, talk to, smack, all of the above.) He NEEDS his brothers.

After getting to know Splinter more, he gives more details of the turtles’ upbringing, and (segue) whips out the photo book to show you all the turtles as tots

Donatello

Donnie has one photo of Raph dunking him in the tub while the others laughed

Its truly menacing, but Donnie kind of just

Represses it

It’s a really embarrassing moment, and luckily splinter caught it right in 4K

Once you begin dating donnie, you go up to splinter one day while he’s cleaning the bookshelf as you watch him pull out the photo album

He gives you this smile as if he knows you’re wanting to see the baby donnie photos

Don’t tell donnie by the way

Raph and Donnie used to be on and off besties, they would fight one day then be hanging out the next. If Leo was trying to get Mikey to stop crying, Raph and Donnie were being devious together somewhere in the Lair

Raph brings up dunking Donnie often, especially if they’re at the Farmhouse. He’ll just casually bring it up like, “remembah when I used ta dunk your ass when we were kids?”

Cue Donnie speed swimming out the lake and onto dry land

Michelangelo

Mikey cried, A LOT

He cried for basically anything and everything

Too cold? Cried. Too hot? Cried. Just right? He’d find a reason to cry anyway

One time Raph smacked Mikey a little too hard, and he cried for a solid hour

Im talking ugly crying drool snot everywhere

He was not letting that go

Raph apologized (many many times)

Donnie thinks he was being a drama queen

Leo suggests that it would make a funny childhood memory, and Splinter laughed at that and snapped a photo of Mikey as he was calming down and hiccuping after getting a hug from Raphael

It’s actually a cute photo, but Mikey still gets mad about it for some reason

Thinks about his cry baby days a lot, but honestly, the crying got him what he wanted at times

Especially from Donnie

Leo was Mikey’s favorite brother and vice versa, Leo would always try and help Mikey when he was crying (which was very often)

He tried to be funny or comfort him, either way, it made their bond stronger

“And this,” Splinter points at the photo, “is a memory I find rather amusing from my son.”

You try to contain your laughter, but the way your boyfriend looks as a child is too cute and too comical to not laugh at. “Do not hold back your emotions, laugh all you want.” The rat says at he notices you trying to contain yourself.

It’s probably one of the funnier photos you’ve seen of your boyfriend so far. Though, he sort of told Master Splinter to never show anyone. However, you weren’t just anyone. You had legal right to see it.

You would take this witnessing to the grave, but it’s always nice to know more about your turtle’s past. Though him and his brothers had a nice childhood with what Splinter was able to do for them, they had ups and downs as well.

If anything, Splinter did everything in his power to give them a seemingly normal childhood. They did what normal kids did:

Leo just so happened to drool a lot when sleeping. Splinter points to the photo of Leo on a mountain of blankets, and his closed eyes and unconscious self completely oblivious to the drool coming out at the time. He must've had a good dream. Leo sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and wipes his mouth to see if he drools. He doesn't wanna drool on you if you're sharing a bed together. He doesn't drool anymore, but, he still has to make sure. If you sleep together often, he waits for you to fall asleep first.

Raph had attachment issues to a stuffed animal. It's such a cute photo of Raph hugging onto his teddy bear for dear life on the couch during the early morning. He slept with it all the time. Raphael has shown a few times where he has to cuddle you. He's touchy, all the time. He feeds off of physical touch. Don't tell anyone, but he probably couldn't go a day without kissing you or hugging you in some way.

Donnie was used as collateral by his other siblings. This photo has to be a core memory for Donnie. It's an action shot of Raph dunking him halfway in the tub water, while Leo and Mikey giggle on the opposite side of the tub. It's probably why he never likes to go in the lake while Raph's in it when you all take a trip to Casey's grandma's farmhouse in the summer. Though he knows you can't physically dunk him, Donnie thinks about if you'll just turn around and do it while you're taking a relaxing bath together.

Mikey cried a lot. Though, even human kids probably didn’t cry as much as Mikey did. You see the photo of Mikey crying while Leo tries to comfort him, and Splinter mentions that Mikey would cry for practically any and everything. Mikey doesn't cry now, but he has this puppy-dog look he gives you whenever he wants to do something with you or wants something from you.

As you had only been dating him for a few months now, you were still uncovering pieces to a fun little puzzle that was the sewer life.

You continue looking at the photo of your boyfriend, seeing how small he was back then, compared to now. He's a...big, muscular turtle. How his tiny shell doesn't compare to the one he has now. But, his facial features are all the same.

“How’d you do it?” You turn to Splinter, “I mean, raise them?”

Master Splinter smiles, and leads you to the family portrait of all of them together. Though not kids anymore, this was taken recently. Before Leo left for South America a few years back. It was a sort of farewell photo, as per Leo’s request. He was always a family-oriented turtle.

And now, here comes the origin story of said photo.

---

“Tha flash is too damn bright, Genius!” Raph scolds his younger brother- Donnie- after he complained for the 5th time that Raph’s eyes were closed.

“I can’t make it any more dim, hothead!”

“Ladies, ladies, you’re both pretty! My face hurts,” Mikey whines, “are we done?”

“Not until Raph beats the try not to blink for 5 seconds challenge.” Donnie snaps.

“Not until Don here stops tryin’ ta give his family a seiz’a from tha damn flash!”

“Raphael, language.” Splinter interrupts, scolding the second oldest turtle in red.

“Guys, I want a good photo before I leave. Can we all be civilized for 5 seconds?” Leo huffs. He leaves his spot from the frame and finds a way to shut off the flash. It wasn’t needed, anyway.

“Now was that so hard, Einstein?” Raphael turns to Donnie once again, only to get a subtle middle finger as a response that Splinter couldn’t see and scold Don for.

And finally, after all that bickering, they got the photo done. It comes out really good, and Mikey boasts about how he was always the most handsome turtle out of all of them.

“Dude, I’m gonna miss you,” Mikey says, this is the last day they’ll be together before Leo leaves, and it gets a little emotional. Mikey’s back to his old ways, almost crying as he runs to give his older brother a tight hug.

Donnie’s gonna miss Leo, too. But instead of crying, he just has a sad look on his face. He was never one to cry, really.

Raph, on the other hand, is stoic. He doesn’t show his emotions. But, he’s gonna miss his older brother. A lot. Probably more than the others. What is he gonna do without him? Could he even function without him?

“I’m gonna miss you too little brother,” Leo hugs a crying Mikey, “I’m gonna miss all of you. Truly.”

---

The family photo holds more meaning than the others, and Splinter cherishes it so much.

“I did what I could,” Splinter says, “And…though I know not to be arrogant or smug, I believe I did a great job with them.”

They are strong, loyal, and amazing turtles that protect the city. If anything, Splinter just made the best heroes in the world. If only the world knew about his accomplishment.

You smile at your boyfriend’s sensei, “I agree with you. I mean, who else could protect New York City as good as your sons?”

You weren’t wrong, either. You remembered the first time you met the turtles, and your soon-to-be boyfriend. You knew the police took their sweet ass time with responding to crimes, so you sort of had to deal with whatever hardship on your own. But a gang? No.

So, yes, you were forever in debt with the turtles, but you couldn’t complain. They were four distinct personalities, and were so interesting that you just had to know more.

And honestly, this “embarrassing photo” did just that. As you and Splinter continued to go through the photo album, he gave background on each photo you saw. It was your first time ever going through the book, as Splinter never really had this much time with you one on one to do this, but you enjoyed it. It appeared that Splinter did, too. The wrinkly smile that was plastered on his fuzzy face truly showed his content. He loved to reminisce and remember about the old times, and how quick time passes. Time is a thief, and he was lucky enough to have captured those moments.

Especially the one photo of your boyfriend.

The photo that you wanted a copy of, so you could keep it in your own personal album at home, where it would be safe, and you could pull it out whenever you needed a good cheering up or giggle.

Splinter did an amazing job with his sons, and though he probably skipped on the relationship advice thinking it wasn’t possible, your boyfriend was doing great with you.

/// Taglist:

@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside Masterlist

I might start adding polls to my future posts for yall to vote on if you liked it or not :) just to see what people enjoy/don't enjoy

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt leo #raphael #leonardo #donatello #tmnt 2007 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt raph #2007 leo #2007 raph #tmnt fanfics #tmnt headcanons #tmnt imagines

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xeonn6269 · 6 months

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album redraw

i used the song Lose Control by Teddy Swims is where this inspo came from

#art #undertale au #undertale #sans au #sans oc #undertale oc #original character #album art #album cover #my art blog #my art #undertale art #my art style #sans

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twinky-wink · 2 months

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listening to Teddy Swims album “I’ve Tried Everything But Therapy” and now i need a fic about logan and reader being toxic and they’re aware they’re toxic but they cant get enough of each other and cant bring themselves to leave each other alone!!

#wolverine #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #x men

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heyjude19-writing · 4 months

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Di you have any favourite playlists or songs that give u Drarry vibes?

I love hozier songs they remind me so much of Drarry.

oh do i!

also yes, i associate most of hozier's songs with drarry (dramione is florence and the machine 🤷‍♀️)

so billie eilish's new album has a lot of songs that immediately exploded my little drarry brain, so give that a listen (especially 'BLUE')

anyway, here's the playlist i recently made for Unknown / Nth: -What Kind of Man - florence and the machine -Raincatchers - birdy -Make Up Your Mind - florence and the machine -Who We Are - hozier -A Car Crash for Two - gia ford -yeti - paris paloma -Lost Cause - p!nk -The Night We Met - amber run -Torture - liz longley -The Last Dance - amber run -Lose Control - teddy swims -Darker Things - lily kershaw -Talk - hozier -In Your Eyes - rona mac -Our Song - p!nk -Unknown / Nth - hozier -Francesca - hozier -All I Wanted - paramore -All Through the Night - anna nalick

Happy listening!

#fic playlists #drarry #hozier brain rot

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deadcactuswalking · 3 days

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21/09/2024 (The Weeknd, Tate McRae, Chappell Roan, Teddy Swims, Playboi Carti)

For a fourth week straight, Sabrina Carpenter is at #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Taste”, and it seems like everyone on the pop music roster has returned this week. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, brief discussion of Palestine, allegations, queerphobia

Rundown

As always, we start the episode with our notable dropouts, those being songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid farewell to: “Red Wine Supernova” by Chappell Roan (I’ll explain why towards the end), “Houdini” by Eminem, “Pink Skies” by Zach Bryan, “Like a Prayer” by Madonna, “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas and “The Man Who Can’t be Moved” by The Script. It’s not that large a list of songs, but these are all pretty big hits during the past year, this is almost a clear-out week of some summer tracks.

As for what takes those songs’ places, well, we have plenty of new arrivals to fill that void but there are also some notable gains, and returns, for that regard, with “Fortnight” by Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone back briefly at #75 from when it dropped out to #76 last week (“Gata Only” has company, I see), and a much more interesting re-entry with Charli xcx bringing “Talk talk” back to #24. The song peaked at #47 on album release week, but with the Brat remix compilation announcement, Charli released alongside it a new, mediocre version of this track featuring Troye Sivan - who’s credited by the Official Charts Company, for once - and Dua Lipa - who’s not credited by anywhere. As for the gains, we see solid boosts forEDM to-be-hits “TOO COOL TO BE CARELESS” by PAWSA at #66, “Cry Baby” by Clean Bandit, Anne-Marie and David Guetta at #51 and bizarrely enough, the song I literally nearly forgot to review until the episode was finished last week has scooted up to the top 40 - “Embrace It” by Ndotz is at #36 because, sure, I get the appeal. Other than JADE’s “Angel of My Dreams” at #19, however, much of what we need to talk about in the top 40 is relegated to tracks debuting there this week.

As for our top five, “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars continues a rise at #5, but the rest should all be standard: Sabrina Carpenter has “Please Please Please” at #4 and “Espresso” at #3, Chappell Roan has “Good Luck, Babe!” at #2 and of course, Sabrina also has “Taste” at the very top. Now there are many… interesting debuts up and down the charts, mostly in the top 40, but we start with, well, maybe the least coherent.

New Entries

#72 - “KEEP UP” - Odetari

Produced by Odetari

Okay… so, this might require some explanation. Odetari is a rap-singer from Texas who has been carving out a place online, particularly TikTok, through his success in bringing some underground hyperpop-adjacent trends into a more mainstream place. Alongside other acts like 9lives and 6arelyhuman, who, trust me, have names just as alien to me as they are you, his work encompasses distorted club beats using a similar bitcrushed technique to “hexd” or “surge” music, rapping like a digicore artist over Jersey club, and generally, being high-pitched and annoying. Bizarrely, he’s been popping up mostly on the US dance charts for a year or so now, and has attracted an audience that probably belongs in some form to the “scene revival”, with his woozy, punched-up rave beats and Auto-Tuned vocal fitting right into that sound. “KEEP UP” has crossed over to a more general audience to give him a breakthrough outside of his demographic, so part of me was hoping he did something a bit different in this one. Uh, no.

This is far from a bad thing necessarily for as much as I feel like I’m some boomer trying to hear most of this guy’s material, there’s something about this track in particular I actually really enjoy, and I think it may just be up to the fact that it is so relentlessly catchy. The self-produced saw sounds straight out of the NES, sure, but it’s overwhelmed by the punchy hardcore kicks, which soon evolve into a drum pattern so distorted it becomes a bitcrushed mesh alongside Mr. Odetari’s hook which has already made itself home in my head. Genuinely, it’s an annoyingly catchy, stuttering hook that has such a good first half to the main melodic idea that it doesn’t matter that the second half of the phrase trails off into barely-words bullshit. It’s nothing new, it’s just addictive, and I think I understand the virality now, even if I get the feeling that I don’t fully “get it”. As for the lyrics, Odetari is genuinely not saying anything. There is no lyrical conceit or motif to the song, and I am absolutely confident in saying that I’m not missing anything in that regard, as the verses, similarly full of vocal manipulating and stuttering ad-libs crowding the mix, sound like loose freestyles he decorated with production to fit in with the one good idea he had: the undeniable chorus. I also enjoy how this is one of few songs to do the cheap, TikTok-variety slowed-down outro with tact and reason: the transition is solid and exciting, the synths take on a new, eerie tone with the pace shift, and the third verse - or I suppose, bridge - is the most focused on the song, being a whole lot of flexing but more cohesive than anything else he has going for him. So, yeah, oddly enough, I really enjoy this, though I don’t think I’m fully there into delving into the Odetari back catalogue. If you can call having barely two years worth of singles and EPs a back catalogue.

#59 - “Disco” - Surf Curse

Produced by Jarvis Taveniere

Surf Curse are, fittingly, a surf punk band from Nevada whose back catalogue has been bubbling under for years now: they seem to have very little success, even now signed to a major label, with their new output but every so often, their years-old songs will get a viral buzz and streaming traction, with some popping up on the charts. I actually covered them way back in 2021 when this happened for the first time with “Freaks”, a song that was originally released all the way back in 2013, but hey, it’s been three years since, I’m sure that people have caught onto their newer work and no, this “new” song is five years old and has already sold 95,000 copies overall. I liked “Freaks” for as much as the Nick Rattigan-fronted band could get me to like a lo-fi indie snippet that didn’t have much to it, so I was honestly hoping to get a refresher on these guys that involved actually fully-fledged songs. This is closer, even if it’s barely longer than “Freaks”, mostly because of a more professional mix, though still with some imperfect lo-fi elements that punch it up a tad, though the song is still barely there. The lyrics about seeing a girl at the disco and being in adoration about the way she dances are… unbefitting and ultimately not interestingly phrased, the stop-and-start rhythm in the chorus’ end is not that inspired, almost expected, and the main riff just reminds me of “Freaks” again, which the entire song resembles quite a lot, and maybe a bit of early Vampire Weekend. Some of the lyrics come off as somewhat obsessed or creepy, especially given the allegations that followed the year after this song’s release, but it doesn’t have the rougher, darker edges of “Freaks”, which I relistened to and still enjoy, to integrate that into its appeal. I have heard better in indie surf-rock, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the least interesting of it is what ends up charting. I guess it’s okay, but it’s definitely not original or even likeable.

#47 - “Tony Soprano 3” - Nines

Produced by RQ1of1 and JC3

UK rapper Nines is back with an album on the 27th, and what better way to announce a forthcoming project than with completing the trilogy of his “Tony Soprano” series of freestyle-liked tracks just meant to serve as Nines talking his shit to convince you to care about the project on the way. The last installment peaked at #10 but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t upped the quality with this latest edition and… well, the spoken part at the start seems to indicate this forthcoming record is his last, but other than that, there’s absolutely nothing of interest here. Nines is sloppy as always, with a vocal mix that is obsessed with stuttering and other effects that seem completely unnecessary for a song that should be about bars, of which Nines has very little, over this basic trap beat that admittedly has a nicer loop this time. There are sone nice references and I do respect ending the track by calling out social media for allegedly shadow-banning his account after he showed support for Palestine, but considering the rest of the track is about how he thinks he’s the GOAT and this is tacked on clumsily to the end, it instead appears somewhat self-serving, unfortunately. Overall, like I say about most of Nines’ tracks that end up charting, I don’t think it’s much of note at all, but this one is perfectly serviceable outside of odd production choices, which is more than Nines sometimes provides so that’s something, surely.

#32 - “ALL RED” - Playboi Carti

Produced by F1LTHY, Lukrative, Lucian, Ojivolta and Twisco

Atlanta legend and trap pioneer Future has just released his rawer, messier set of hype anthems, MIXTAPE PLUTO, which may have an impact next week but more importantly for us today, makes this lead single from Playboi Carti nearly entirely obsolete. Carti has been teasing singles for the entire year and a bit from an upcoming release, I AM MUSIC, but much of this has been on YouTube and other platforms instead of the major streaming services, whether that be for sample clearance, label nonsense, general “mystery” or because the guy hates his fans, probably a mix of all of the above. A lot of those newer songs and leaks have featured Mr. Carter experimenting with his voice in strange ways, but primarily using his newer, deeper voice he introduced on “FE!N” last year, to mostly boring results outside of “2024” (released in 2023), I like that one, though that features a mix. There is something really funny to me, therefore, that after a mish-mash of genuine experimentation and unwarranted hype and acclaim from fans and industry alike, that his proper lead single is just a Future impression on a F1LTHY beat. The beat’s obviously hard-hitting enough with his twisting synth loops and bass-heavy menace that comes naturally with F1LTHY territory though with six producers credited here, two of which being the very creative Ojivolta, I did expect more detail or at least some progression here beyond just plugging some new synth flares in and out. Carti is in typical lyrical territory, though I don’t think I understand the main conceit of the chorus that his neck tattoo is shutting anybody up, exactly, because if anything, the Satanic imagery is what gets people talking about the mysterious and violent “red” aesthetic Carti’s been working with since he discovered rage beats. He does end up sounding more distinct from Future on the one verse, but by that point it’s just a middling Whole Lotta Red leftover. I can’t call it bad because there is energy and intensity here to justify its existence, I just feel like it could have been much more.

#28 - “Bad Dreams” - Teddy Swims

Produced by Julian Bunetta, Matt Zara and John Ryan

Colour me surprised that Teddy Swims is sticking around. “Lose Control” seemed out of nowhere but is one of the biggest songs of the decade so far, despite sounding like pretty much nothing out, and “The Door” is the kind of follow-up that he probably needed to show an upbeat side, so I was interested in this newest single, not from his breakthrough album, that might just be the deal-maker - or deal-breaker - for if Mr. Swims can continue his hit-making career past that one good year, as this was released last Friday and didn’t have the slow burn of the others. Given the high debut, I have a feeling the Swimster does fill a void and will be here to stay, but as to how I feel about the song, I am somewhat disappointed in the producers going for a more typical, 2020s subdued indie-pop guitar lead and tone amidst the more classic soul groove, because whilst it mixes the guy better into his closest contemporaries on the charts - he’s closer to Sabrina Carpenter of all people than anything - it also takes some of the loveable bombast from his prior hits out of the occasion, with the malformed post-chorus, consisting of a weak “woo”, rising strings, and stray claps accompanying some brief phrases that feel more like vocal riffs than a fully-written conclusion to the chorus, wherein he longs for his partner not to leave him because without them, he gets “bad dreams” - probably more so referring to how distraught his mental health can be without relying on someone else. Obviously, he sounds great, though he has some room to belt here and shows some restraint, which could be odd for that kind of content that almost comes across as begging, so I feel like even his vocal performance is slightly underwhelming here… which sums up the song in general. It’s fine, it’ll be successful, but it also doesn’t seem like the most memorable third act to me.

#21 - “Pink Pony Club” - Chappell Roan

Produced by Dan Nigro

We switched out our Pokémon, so to speak, with “Red Wine Supernova” and thanks to the three-song rule, Chappell Roan’s fourth-biggest song currently has dropped out from the top 40 and been replaced with the third. OCC are ridiculous, but to be fair, this rule was built to prevent album bombs, not the - somewhat unforeseeable - case that an artist would have an entire album be full of sleeper hits that have been out for at least a year but seem to all have a domino effect on each other until she’s one of the year’s biggest new stars. Those following this year would know I’m still somewhat torn on Chappell’s hits thus far, not really fully convinced by them outside of “HOT TO GO!”, and honestly mostly for somewhat nitpicky reasons, songs just not connecting nearly as much as they should for me due to lyrical gripes or structural oddities that put me off from the entire package and I’m glad that we finally have one that’s a bit simpler to explain: I think it’s boring. With that said, I really enjoy the idea of the lyrical narrative here, functioning as the clearest example of her album’s story regarding the young queer girl in Middle America - Tennesee in this song’s case - longing for the fictional, openly gay nightclub “the Pink Pony Club”. Her attendance would disappoint her mother but might be worth it for the joy and self-realisation, and she eventually progresses into actually being at the club and promising that her hometown still means a lot to her.

Now, like all Chappell Roan hits, here comes the “but”: I don’t actually like the way the lyrics progress with little variety that changes tenses but doesn’t have a meaningful impact on the content despite her journey, there’s not much nuance to how Tennessee is depicted outside of just the generic hometown she loves but has to get out of. More detail to why either Tennessee or Santa Monica actually matter, or if there are any specific areas outside of the fictional club that stand out to her journey, justifying why Tennessee still matters and not just her mother’s love. It relies in part to a sociopolitical content that it barely discusses, and it extends its length with an incessantly catchy and incredibly well-performed chorus but one that fails to have more of a gut-punch impact like it could, alongside solos that more often than they should go for warping down instead of soaring like they should when working in an 80s synthpop and AOR framework. The staccato string and synth stabs in the pre-chorus are cool enough but the mix stays too minimal with its gated drums to really have that full feeling, to make the club actually seem like either a dream or alien to the Tennessee girl. It even fades out like a classic 80s song, which is just a cop-out nowadays, and whilst I do have these specific problems… the main thing they all contribute is taking my interest out of vocals and drums that I otherwise would really love, making a song that, to me, is kind of a bore. I know I’m not making any friends by being consistently critical of Chappell Roan on Tumblr of all places, but I’m sorry, she still doesn’t excite me the way she has many others.

#14 - “It’s ok I’m ok” - Tate McRae

Produced by ILYA

I won’t even try and resist the easy joke of Ms. McRae outright stating what could well be my opinion of the song and her artistry in the title of the track. Thankfully, I don’t really agree with that statement - last year’s Tate McRae album was far from OK, more just outright garbage, but this one could be better. As in, this song really could be better, it’s not enjoyable at all. I’m nicer to late 2000s and early 2010s crunk-influenced pop but the mix emphasises this thin high-frequency DJ Mustard synth before emphasising an even more annoying sound, a clambering drum loop that completely demolishes the mix outside of Tate McRae herself, who was clearly listening to Ciara because she’s whispering incoherently about relationships, except without her Petey Pablo. It’d be The Kid LAROI, by the way, which should show how far we’ve fallen as a society. This half-rap chorus is honestly kind of pathetic in its attempt to sound carelessly “cool”, mostly because of the layers of background vocal riffing that refute that, and I genuinely could not make out half of the second verse so I’m not sure if I should even be trying to dig into the kiss-off where McRae - lying to herself, presumably - allows her partner’s new girlfriend to just take him because she’s TOTALLY over it. It’s not a bad idea for a song, I could see these lyrics working, maybe in a peppier context, but this production’s too dire outside of a genuinely nice atmosphere in the echo-drenched, sprawling outro, which really just sums up and repeats the song’s main conceit in less time than the rest of this mediocrity. Once again with McRae, I think I’ll pass. Also, Ryan Tedder is a co-writer, do not think you are safe on this one, Mr. OneRepublic, I’m actually pinning most of the blame on you just because I know your track record.

#12 - “Dancing in the Flames” - The Weeknd

Produced by The Weeknd, Max Martin, Oscar Holter

The Weeknd is back… but he’s also seemingly going away for a long time. Abel Tesfaye is finishing his trilogy that started with 2020’s After Hours, continued with 2022’s Dawn FM and now concludes with 2024’s Hurry Up Tomorrow out later this year. At a concert in Brazil, the singer teased a multiple of songs, including a Playboi Carti collaboration that has gone pretty viral but naturally in the era of TikTok slow-burn marketing, and the fact that Carti doing a normal, respectful and successful rollout for an important release, like The Weeknd has a track record of doing, is unheard of, that one will hate until the album, and for now, we get the Max Martin lead single because… who else? The two never miss together in making something that will most likely be a hit but I understand how one could be tired of the 80s synthpop pastiche by now and whilst this is anecdotal, I do feel like there was significantly less hype, at least from what I’ve seen, about not necessarily the album, which is still exciting for everyone, but this song in particular, which is yet another one of those pastiches. It’s got the same gated drum effect though they feel a bit thin outside of the fills, it’s got the same cute synths but with a much wonkier lead this time around, and whilst Abel will always sound great on record, he also phones that chorus in a tad, and it sounds especially so in the droll verses, with his now signature “Hey!” added in seemingly as a reminder that yup, this is the “Blinding Lights” guy. I don’t know about this one, it just seems like a mediocre rendition of something he’s done before that also misunderstands part of his appeal, with poetic but unsubstantial lovelorn lyrics that hint towards being more about his relationship with the music-listening audience given the reference to his “final odyssey”. It does intrigue me to where that outro is leading on the album, with the pattering out of the song into a darker atmosphere that will give this overly light and fluffy song some more balance, but other than that, I don’t care about this one way or the other.

Conclusion

That seems to kind of just be the theme of the episode: a lot of generally okay songs but mostly filling in for what I’ve already heard before. We really have three unique songs then a set of reruns, like the network ran out of new shows midway through the primetime block. Embarrassingly enough, Odetari runs away with the only song I even like here, “KEEP UP”, as the Best of the Week, whilst Tate McRae takes Worst of the Week for “It’s ok I’m ok” - though it may not sound like it in my review, “Disco” by Surf Curse was awfully close as the Dishonourable Mention, what a lazy and off-putting song. As for what's on the horizon, I could hazard a guess that Future and maybe Katy Perry land a song each, but it's a long shot regarding everything else. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Tito Jackson, and I'll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #the weeknd #surf curse #odetari #chappell roan #tate mcrae #playboi carti #teddy swims #nines

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lucienarcheron · 4 months

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✨️Put 5 songs you listen to, post it, then send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers :) 🎶

(I’m a bit behind on smtb but tysm for the updates!! it’s such a masterpiece 💕)

Never worry bby! Take your time ily <333

Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter

Like I Do (Remix) by Jay Park

Say Cheese by Paul Russell

911 by Teddy Swims

TTPD album - can't pick one the whole album stays on repeat minus like 5 of the songs haha

thank you for the ask bby!

#asks #corcracrow

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adtothebone · 1 year

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A big teddy bear swimming with sharks. The AI almost gave me a Nirvana album cover.

#ai #bear #Teddy bear #sharks

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thenicestthingiveseen · 7 months

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Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals.

this year i started tracking every single new song i heard and really liked in order to force myself to stop listening to the same 4 albums on loop (some taylor swift album, Endless Summer Vacation, emails i can't send, RENAISSANCE). So, if you have any song recs please send em over!

i present the first five songs of "2024", shuffled:

lose control - teddy swims

Problematic The problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit Bad habits hard to break when I'm with you Yeah, I know I can do it on my own But I want that real full moon black magic and it takes two Problematic The problem is when I’m with you I'm an addict And I need some relief, my skin and your teeth Can't see the forest through the trees Got me down on my knees, darlin', please, oh

deeper well - kacey musgraves

ive been oddly looking forward to my saturn return since i was 25

My Saturn has returned When I turned twenty-seven Everything started to change

saturn - SZA

funny how that worked out.

If karma's really real How am I still here? Just seems so unfair I could be wrong though If there's a point to being good Then where's my reward? The good die young and poor I gave it all I could

TEXAS HOLD'EM - Beyoncé

There's a heatwave (there's a heatwave) Comin' at us (comin' at us) Too hot to think straight (too hot to think straight) Too cold to panic (cold to panic) All of the problems Just feel dramatic (just feel dramatic) And now we're runnin' to the first bar that we find, yeah

3 Boys- Omar Apollo

I don't want to Fell asleep with your hand on my skull And my face in your lap At the Bowery Hotel, missin' you How did I fall so fast? Seems like everything I do take me further from you

#asks #music #displayheartcode #playlists

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mikelogan · 6 months

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i was tagged by @userlestat (thanks, katie!!) to list 5 songs im loving right now!

texas hold 'em - beyonce

something's got a hold on me - etta james

the curse of the blackened eye - orville peck

houdini - dua lipa

lose control - teddy swims

honorable mention to turn the lights back on by billy joel and ariana's new album!!

no pressure tags (as always): @vinmauro @silversmists @barrowsteeth @bodybetters @mulderscully @miwtual and anyone else who wants to do this! 💙

#ramblings #tag game

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excelsior9173 · 9 months

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thanks for the tag @foxgloveinspace !!

ten songs i’ve been enjoying lately

(i’m so sorry i can’t just give songs i’m gonna explain a bit for each one too 😅)

been on a big incubus kick for about a month now, the bass in this song is so good and makes my day

nickelback haters can fuck off i love this band so much. and this song has some fantastic structure and some insane runs towards the end

you know i gotta get my baby in here! this song is always in rotation for me, it’s so perfect

still cry to this one whenever it comes on in the car lol. it’s just so good and hits so hard for me

i fuckin love korn they’re so goddamned weird it’s amazing. this song is a bop

okay… listen. i know the singer is a piece of shit, he’s been charged and is getting the justice he deserves. i grew up on this band and so much of their music means so much to me i can’t just drop it, y’know? i usually hide that i still listen but this album jumped back in my head and it’s been on repeat for the last week. this song in particular is just so good. separate art from artist right?

i love love love moist! 1- they’re canadian 2- what a voice! he’s got such a neat tone and cry

recently heard this song for the first time and holy shit? incredibly impressive vocals

i have been loving this band for just over a year now and this song omg. i love the overall sound of it, it’s got this dark, sensual vibe going on. the vocals are incredible and it’s so sexy in such a dark way

wrapping this up with incubus again. i’ve loved this song for years but it’s recently cropped up in my playlist again and- masterpiece. this might be one of their best songs

(not adding any tags but this was fun! anyone who sees this that wants to do it consider yourself tagged!)

#sleep token #incubus #bad omens #hedley #moist #teddy swims #nickelback #shinedown #korn #song tag game #tag game #Spotify

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the-adventures-of-fuzzface · 3 days

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Fuzzface Adventure #1: Alone On The Beach

Since today is the final day of summer, and we're due for terrible rainy weather for the entire next week, I wanted to do as much swimming as I could. And I knew about a tiny little beach on the canalside. After navigating the dangerous rocks-they really need to put up a better path to that beach-I noticed a little yellow teddy bear, left to sit here and watch the waves.

I was immediately charmed. I love stuffed animals, and I always feel a little sad when I see one left orphaned. Did he come on the water and someone sat him on the log? I have no idea, but it's what him being full of sand suggested. I also thought the image of a teddy bear watching the sun set would make a great album cover once I finally got off my duff and started making music-I'm gonna, I swear-so the bear got to star in his own photo shoot.

Ironically, I became the subject of a photo shoot myself immediately after. A group of Asian men and women were standing on the cliff above the beach, and one of the men started taking pictures. There was no way to avoid being captured in my swimsuit. I was embarrassed, but I also felt a bit bad for ruining his beach shots.

I decided against trying to swim in the river because the current was picking up, and getting gawked at soured my mood. I put my clothes back on, but before I went back up the cliff, I grabbed the teddy bear. I couldn't just leave him to deal with tomorrow's thunderstorms. He was coming home with me.

But not before we took some more photos together.

#teddy bear #stuffed animals #beach #last day of summer #plush

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thelensofyashunews · 17 days

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JESSIE MURPH RELEASES ANXIOUSLY AWAITED DEBUT ALBUM THAT AIN’T NO MAN THAT’S THE DEVIL TODAY

Today, 19-year-old vocal powerhouse Jessie Murph unveils her anxiously awaited debut album, That Ain’t No Man That’s the Devil, out now via Columbia Records.

Next week, she celebrates the record’s arrival with what promises to be an unforgettable performance at the MTV Video Music Awards on the Extended Play Stage presented by Doritos® onSeptember 11, 2024. It broadcasts live from UBS Arena in New York, NY and notably marks her first appearance at the awards show where she is a first-time nominee for Best Pop Collaboration “Wild Ones” and Best PUSH Artist.

Among many highlights, That Ain’t No Man That’s the Devil boasts her new collaboration with Bailey Zimmerman “Someone in This Room.” The track unites two of country’s fastest-rising superstars on a captivating and catchy anthem.

From the opener “Gotta Hold” through the powerful finale “I Could Go Bad,” the album illuminates Jessie’s traffic-stopping voice, evocative storytelling, and raw sense of soul. Ultimately, That Ain’t No Man That’s The Devil stands out as her most personal, poignant, and powerful body of work to date.

Jessie teased the album with “Dirty” feat. Teddy Swims, earning critical acclaim as Rolling Stone applauded how “Jessie Murph and Teddy Swims sing to a shitty ex in an angry duet,” and Billboard named it among “the must-hear releases of the week” and proclaimed, “after scoring hits with Koe Wetzel and Jelly Roll, Murph continues to shine as a collaborator and storyteller.” It's just one facet of That Ain’t No Man That’s The Devil though. The highly anticipated 12-track project was co-written by Jessie and features collaborations with Jelly Roll, Koe Wetzel, Bailey Zimmerman and Teddy Swims (see full track listing below). Jessie rises stronger and bolder on the album.

Next up, she will embark the 2nd leg of her ‘In the Sticks’ North American headline tour, presented by Poshmark x Future is Female which is nearly sold-out. After an incredible sold-out run of shows earlier this year with over 85,000 tickets sold, Jessie returns to the stage this Fall with the 20 date-run of shows kicking off October 17 in Tucson, AZ with stops in Las Vegas, New Jersey, Georgia, and more. Jessie will wrap the tour with a special headline arena show, Live For One Night Von Braun Center, in her hometown of Huntsville, Alabama on November 23, For tickets and more information, visit https://www.jessiemurph.com/#tour.

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deadcactuswalking · 2 months

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/08/2024 (Post Malone/Luke Combs, Central Cee, Calvin Harris/Ellie Goulding)

For a fifth week, Sabrina Carpenter remains atop the UK Singles Chart with “Please Please Please”, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, lesbian sex, confusion

Rundown

As always, we start the episode with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 and first of all, that Eminem album really crashes out this week as both “Habits” featuring White Gold and “Brand New Dance”, only lasting a single week, make their exit. As for the rest, well, Charli xcx switches out “Girl, so confusing” - helped by its Lorde-featuring duet version - with another song we’ll get back to, but other than that, we say farewell to “the boy is mine” by Ariana Grande (also helped by a remix with Brandy and Monica), “Addicted” by Zerb, The Chainsmokers and Ink, “Illusion” by Dua Lipa, “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay and, though it’s not notable, just for fun, we say goodbye to a brave soldier, “Pink Lemonade (Str8 Reload)” by LeoStayTrill. Song of the Summer indeed.

One thing you may notice this week is that older songs had a particularly nice lift, and this shows in our re-entries, as other than Ariana Grande’s “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” returning to #66, we see a massive resurgence for *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”, so massive and manufactured that the song now claims to be “from” the Deadpool and Wolverine soundtrack. Yeah, okay, Justin, anything to recover your world tour. Timberlake’s boy band debuted at a #3 peak with the song in 2000, with the #1 on that week also being a debut for Madonna’s derided cover of “American Pie”. “Bye Bye Bye” only lasted 10 weeks on the chart but definitely made itself a cultural staple due to its ear-worm chorus and iconic music video, leading Anne-Marie to interpolate it in her #3-peaking “2002” from 2018. That song’s uninterrupted five-week run at #3 saw #1s from Calvin Harris, Jess Glynne, Clean Bandit and George Ezra pass it by, and I reviewed all of that back when I was just starting. The *NSYNC hit is back thanks to the release of the aforementioned superhero movie that has high enough praise on aggregate sites like Rotten Tomatoes as well as genuine fan push evident from how high this song is, that it might help the declining Marvel universe. Why am I pretending to care about that?

As for our notable gains, we see plenty of hefty boosts this week for “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” by Luke Combs at #56 off of the continued success of its film, Twisters, “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat at #55, “You & Me” by Disclosure featuring Eliza Doolittle at #51, “WILDFLOWER” by Billie Eilish at #45, “The Door” by Teddy Swims at #25, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #18, “Apple” and “360” by Charli xcx at #14 and #12 respectively (more on her later) and finally, making their first entry in the top 10 for whatever reason, BL3SS, CamrinWatson and bbyclose - all clearly household hitmakers - are at #7 with “Kisses”. The song’s not bad at all, but I just never would have expected it to be this successful, even if ACR might be paying it some favours.

As usual, our top five should look pretty standard, aside from a decent jump for Dasha as the already long-lasting top 10 “Austin (Boots Stop Workin’)” - yes, it’s been renamed for easier clicks - is up to #5. Otherwise, we’re all familiar with “Stargazing” by Myles Smith at #4, “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish at #3 and “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan reaching a new peak of #2, and of course, Sabrina at the top. What should be much more interesting though is our mixed batch of fascinating new song a bit lower down on the chart, which we’ll have to get through now.

New Entries

#71 - “Gold Mine” - Aitch and D-Block Europe

Produced by AoD and Jacob Manson

Damn, what other way to start an episode is better than to begin the new entries with my boys Young Adz and Dirtbike Lb? …and some white guy. Okay, Aitch isn’t awful and has displayed a degree of personality over the years - though not often as a lead artist - but one thing I’ll never care to hear from him is relationship drama, especially with one of the laziest beats I have ever heard on this show. A singular acoustic guitar line that already cuts out abruptly is then cut in a rush that makes it sound like flipping paper, then we have some of the cheapest trap drums available - I hate that snare - and it’s way too stagnant to go for the West Coast swagger it clearly attempts, though Aitch’s personality-void vocals aren’t helping matters. For some reason, Youthful Advertisements, going for a sing-songy flow and incomprehensible sense of flow on the chorus, is way louder than everything surrounding him and decides to croon about having his tongue in a woman’s ass - classy - whilst Dirtbike Lb seems to not understand he’s on a relationship song until the end of his verse. Aitch is the only one on topic, but he’s my least favourite presence on here - it’s insane just how better this nearly objectively terrible beat sounds with Dirtbike on it instead of Aitch. There are some vaguely cool lines but nothing special, and his flow isn’t new for him, but there’s something so effortless and liquidy to how Dirtbike appears on a track nowadays that appeals to me. And yes, though this may not be the song for it, I agree that I hope the situation in Palestine turns around. I have no faith that it will and whilst this is a throwaway line in an otherwise unrelated song, it should show how much the youth care about the genocide that a pop-rapper is bringing it up so casually. Wait, isn’t this an Aitch song?

#67 - “Lonely Road” - mgk and Jelly Roll

Produced by SlimXX, BazeXX, Charlie Handsome and Travis Barker

Okay, I’ll bite: who’s this new, abbreviated figure of mystery who goes by the simple three litters, mgk? I wonder who could be hiding behind there. Jokes aside, it makes perfect sense for Machine Gun Kelly to take his awkward, triple-barrel name and shorten it down to what everyone was calling him anyway - especially for him, as his name is long enough for it to be very noticeable in Spotify and YouTube titles. Hiding as “mgk” makes it much clearer and easier for you to see “Jelly Roll” on the title for this YouTube video, which could be obscured if he used his full name, which would be a massive turn-off for any Jelly Roll fans with taste. Given that Mr. Jelly has songs with Falling in Reverse and HARDY, I would assume this is not an issue, but part of me does find it amusing how this guy had a song with Eminem just three weeks back and is now hopping on to duet with mgk.

This is actually Jelly Roll’s first time charting and whilst he has a history in underground country rap, he’s recently brought a belting presence to country and rock stations in the US through his rougher but mostly accessible country rock and soul tracks that have gained him a slow-burn following Stateside, yet - perhaps unsurprisingly - he’s yet to crossover to the UK. We love our big, gruff rock belter guys though so I don’t supect it’ll be long, and this track seems to be the UK’s first taste of the J-Man. Is it a good first impression? Well, given the Travis Barker production credit, this seems to be more the first impression for whatever mgk’s next album will be but unfortunately, if you thought that maybe country and rock would be safe from nostalgia-bait sampling, you will be devastated to know that our story starts in 1971.

John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” is one of the most iconic country songs of all time. Whilst Denver always associated himself with Colorado, the ode to West Virginia became so famous that it’s now one of their state anthems. A pop song becoming raised to even that standard is really honourable, though perhaps expectedly, the late Denver’s version never crossed over to the UK charts, though it has of course appeared in various alternate versions because everyone and their mother has covered it… and I mean everyone and their mother: literal mother Olivia Newton-John took it to #15 in 1973 (the #1 was “Blockbuster” by the Sweet) and a mother to many online, Lana Del Rey, covered the song just last year as a way to signal the start of her country era. The West Virginia anthem didn’t return to the charts until it found its way there in the year 2000 in possibly the most bizarro world way: Melky Sedeck sang a brief parody of the song in the bridge to Wyclef Jean’s hilarious #3 hit “It Doesn’t Matter” featuring, of all people, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The #1 the week of its peak was Modjo’s “Lady (Hear Me Tonight)” but please, I beg of you, take a listen to that batshit song that to this day, is the highest-charting rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” in the UK and I’m not even joking. The next year, a Dutch Europop group Hermes House Band would make a more standard cover that peaked at #7 in 2001, whilst the #1 was Daniel Bedingfield’s “Gotta Get Thru This” and the #2 was “Murder on the Dancefloor” - funny how those things turn out - and another straggling cover by the Revellers hit #86 the week before. Now, once again, Denver’s anthem is back on the UK Singles Chart thanks to… Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Barker. 2024, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, you may be wondering: was all that background history worth it for mgk and Jelly Roll? And the obvious answer to that is, “No, but it was more interesting than telling you the obvious fact than an mgk song sucks, right?”. Turning “country roads” into “lonely road” in the intro of the song, pushing the chorus ahead to catch your interest due to the sample, is just pathetic and cynical in a way that I should probably expect mgk to be now, but still hits a sour note, especially given the verses seem to use reference humour - except without the humour - to rock bands like Taking Back Sunday and The Devil Wears Prada who are… decidedly not country, these are punk bands. The Taking Back Sunday reference made me sigh and nearly turn it off, but when the fake snap beat came in, I knew that this was going to a bro-country-rap fusion that, surprisingly for two people who came up in rap, is surprisingly awkward! I like Jelly Roll, but I’d prefer if mgk weren’t showering his echoed backing vocals behind him for no reason, let alone that shitty trap beat, but that southern, gritty texture in his voice is at least much more preferable to mgk’s nasal drawl. I honestly think the song if it were just Mr. Roll and the female backing vocalists would be somewhat salvageable… oh, what am I kidding? A country-rap-rock hybrid interpolation of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” produced by Travis Barker is horrible basically on principle. There’s some comedy in it, I suppose, but it’s otherwise a gross attempt at a monogenre comeback for a guy who’s not respected in a single one of the scenes he’s fusing together… and I’m starting to think he doesn’t respect any of those genres either, because this is sad.

#63 - “365” - Charli xcx

Produced by A.G. Cook and Cirkut

It’s… kind of weird that this is charting, right? It’s a tad extraneous: a book-end song intended to close off the BRAT album by calling back to its opener and most successful single, “360”. Charli will have a fuller song debut next week as Billie Eilish cameos on the new version of “Guess”, so this’ll be one week where “360” essentially deposits two similar but not identical spaces on the chart. That’s not to say “365” isn’t good or is just a remix because that is far from the case. After a rollercoaster array of different beats, hooks and emotional progression, we return to the glitchy buzz of “360”, one that’s almost quaint by the end of the record, with the “bumpin’ that” mantra ending each line in what is essentially a singular, continuous verse building up for the whole song, with the funnelling switch early on bringing a thundering bass and acidic rhythm to the song that separates it absolutely from “360”, if the new inclusions of less playful or even likeable lyrics, painting the image of the “it girl” from that first track being way too far gone, didn’t already do that for you. The original song takes a lot of restraint to make it an opener that doesn’t alienate you with its sonic palette, whilst bringing you some signature ugliness in the back of the mix, but Cook goes fully wild on here, especially in that disgusting drop by the end that drowns out every melodic element, filtering it behind a slodging hardcore bass that eventually fuses with the vocal lead to an unrecognisable, inhuman slush… yet Charli still gets the last laugh, even in pitch-shifted form, reminding you at the last second that she’s still “bumpin’ that”. It may not make much sense as a single, which it isn’t trying to be, but it’s a brilliant production and inspired way to close the album. Sure, it wouldn’t resonate nearly as much if it weren’t for the fact that “360” existed, but that’s so much of the song’s appeal in its distortion and looping of some of that track’s core elements, so “365” doesn’t really need to stand on its own… and given “Guess” is coming, probably for a top 40 placement, I doubt it will need to stand on its own on the charts for very long.

#53 - “Sailor Song” - Gigi Perez

Produced by Gigi Perez and Noah Weinman

Gigi Perez, according to her website, is on tour in October and is signed to Interscope. She… she doesn’t tell me anything else, what’s the point of even having a website nowadays if it’s only links to your social media accounts and music videos? We don’t even get a bio, but thankfully on Spotify, she gives us this detailed description of her music and her backstory. It reads, ahem, “Sims 2 emo lesbian love story but in the medium of music”. So… Little Miss Buzzwords here actually went semi-viral back in 2021 with the sleeper hit “Sometimes (Backwood)”, which boasts over 100 million streams on Spotify and is a largely structureless, lo-fi song, wherein the vocal mix echoes itself into crossing gender boundaries a little, whilst also telling a full story of a relationship, singing about some of what made them work, what made them break up, and the sexually-charged intro the song’s subtitled after. I’m not that big of a fan of the song’s undetailed writing or demo flavour, but I can see the appeal, even if her vocals on that track are really not great, but it is a debut and it shows some ambition and a unique sound that I figured would be expanded upon in “Sailor Song”, released a year after her debut EP, and yes, this is more like it.

Weinman brings a cleaner production to Perez’s acoustic racket, with a warped jazz sample occupying the back of the mix, smoothly texturing the fast-paced indie guitars and that wonderful falsetto chant in the intro that is incredibly catchy in itself without even getting to the verses. “Sailor Song” is similar in tone to the first part of “Sometimes”, being an awestruck sex song where, in her unique, imperfect vocal recording and tone that reminds me of maybe a Left at London, but many others I can’t quite put my finger on right now, she gets down and dirty with a girl that reminds her of Anne Hathaway. For a song without much in the way of bass or production, there is a swagger and groove to it that makes the sexual lyrics not come across as awkward as they could have, with that chorus not only giving a wistful touch through the clever ending lyric, “I sleep so I can see you ‘cause I hate to wait so long”, but also justifying the “sailor” comparison by getting pretty raunchy, including blasphemy and admitting that she’s covered in, well, glistening girl juices… on the second chorus, it’s the other way around, in a subtle twist of perspective. The general tone of secrecy surrounding their rendezvous is emphasised by how she may burst into a louder delivery but it’s tempered with softer crooning, even if it’s the same lines being sung, and frankly, it’s been a while since I’ve heard a sex song this poetically written whilst still getting as horny as it does. I’m surprised I like it as much as I do but this is a brilliant song and I hope that within the recent wave of sapphic pop songs led by Chappell Roan, that the charts can find a place for this too.

#42 - “Somedays” - Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D

Produced by Sonny Fodera and D.O.D

I see that Mr. Fodera actually produced this one, or at least didn’t forget to add himself to the production credit on Spotify like on “Mind Still”. Regardless, this seems to be a new trio assorted through recent UK chart recurring characters, particularly in EDM, with Fodera joined by fellow house producer D.O.D, whose work I consistently enjoyed and can be seen on best hits list for last year, as well as Irish singer Jazzy who may have surpassed her sketchy breakout with Belters Only in the eyes of the public but has yet to prove herself as much of interest outside of being a relatively anonymous dance-pop vocalist for me. As far as this goes, she doesn’t need to be much more, as that is exactly her role, even if it could have been played by the marginally more interesting Clementine Douglas, who co-wrote the song, and sadly, this is very much a generic house-pop song, fine-tuned to fit all audiences. It’s got flat yet anthemic pianos in the pre-drop, a rote four-on-the-floor beat, even flatter future house bass synths as a lead for much of the build and enough reverb to mean amateur remixers only need to put “(slowed)” above this one, yet despite that, the drop still lands on a weirdly dry, anti-climactic note. The composition is fine, it’s sequenced as you’d expect a song like this to be, and Jazzy’s performance is okay even if that lead vocal reminds me of Flo Rida’s “I Cry”, almost distractingly so. It’s just that it’s all so processed that it’s hard to fish much personality out of me for me. I kind of like the farty bass they introduce in the final drop but not only is it not exactly atypical for this song of song but it’s also too little, too late. Sure, it’s serviceable, but when EDM, including house-pop, has been breaching more genre boundaries and delivering great pop music over the past couple years on the UK charts, including from people involved in this very track, I don’t think I’ll settle for the more generic leftovers. Sorry.

#36 - “Free” - Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

Produced by Calvin Harris

If this song debuted nine spots higher, I’d be five pounds richer. Anyway, this is the latest collab between the duo of Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding, coming really not that long after “Miracle”, and going for a… surprisingly very different approach, probably because Harris already rettried the formula with Sam Smith on “Desire”. Instead, Harris goes for an anthemic piano hardcore track that I felt the need to check WhoSampled for since it is so clearly referential, if not a straight throwback, to that era of 90s breakbeat rave with diva vocals. What’s wonderful about this modern revision, however, is not just the inclusion of webby synths to elevate the song to cosmic textures amidst the piano stabs but also how much Goulding is not a diva. She doesn’t belt as much as she careens smoothly through the mix, becoming a very breathy presence as she holds that “free” in the chorus, taking it to a really interesting, nuanced delivery that could have just been held in one note but was taken to more interesting levels, similar to how she could have punched in “free” to the “when I’m with you, I…” take but let herself fall short of the full line to not only get a more organic take but also to ensure the resolve of that line, when it’s finally completed, hits satisfyingly. Goulding brings a really unique and subtle approach, furthered by the lack of much in the way of lyrics, that textures Harris’ always top-notch production. The actual lengthening of the “free” vocal in the drop to hold the note before breaking down in a glitchy stutter behind the pianos and drums is a sick way to distinguish the chorus from what follows, and whilst I’m not exactly a fan of the muddier mix the factorial drums take in the verse afterwards, especially given the subtle, angelic melodies are the best asset this song has so covering them doesn’t do wonders, I appreciate the risk taken in regards to the progression of the song. It has a build-and-drop structure, but the two parts play off of each other and are placed within a more nuanced composition instead of just being there for clubs’ sake. What I’d really love to hear, however, are some remixes as, to my surprise, none exist yet for this song! Extended, five to eight minute edits of the fantastic foundation this song lays down, by other producers and DJs in breakbeat scenes, could turn what is a good song executed carefully but not perfectly, into something I adore if you bring the right guys on, especially if the remixers can trace their roots back into those classic 90s rave scenes. For now, this is good, but it can - and knowing Calvin Harris, probably will - be expanded upon into something genuinely transcendent with a little time and care.

#34 - “gen z luv” - Central Cee

Produced by Ambezza and Peter Iskander

…Excuse me? Are we doing this? Sigh, okay. The increasing memefication of a clearly talented and interesting Central Cee into a zoned-out crossover novelty rapper digs him deeper into mediocrity every time he releases some new gimmicky single, and “gen z luv”, as you may expect from its title, is no exception. It’s not just “gen z luv”, it’s “FYP love”, “IG love” and God, I have never felt older listening to a song. Hell, I feel second-hand embarrassment for Cench as whilst I’m sure the millions and easy access to Ice Spice helps for now, but if I were 40 years old looking back at my life accomplishments, and I saw “gen z luv”, I think I’d rediscover my relationship with the big guy upstairs. There’s a certain ugliness to parading the idea of having kids with his current relationship when he just ditched his long-time partner, who he previously referenced in “Doja”, for a viral pop-rapper, especially when above this garish production mixing cheap, muddy loops with half-finished drill percussion and an almost eerie key note reminiscent of Kanye West’s “Say You Will” more than anything actually loving or “Gen Z” for that matter.

The line “Usin’ words [that are] not my usual language” may be more telling than Cench thinks. He’s basically just rapping buzzwords and trendy phrases in about as smooth a way as someone in a board room taking algorithmic phrases they see spread on TikTok and Instagram would - for someone who is seemingly a part of the generation he’s “celebrating” on this song, there’s a lot of “how do you do, fellow kids?” energy to how he constructs the bars. A few highlights include that in the chorus, he bemoans that people call their love “childish”, and that he must agree because she’s his “baby” - gross! - and that he starts the first verse by basically giving a middle finger to the audience that he started out with, by saying “My crisis ain’t from cost of living”… man, fuck off. More than anything, this song just renders as sad and boring, but maybe I’m just not in tune with the youth of today or something because I saw how people older than me reacted to mid-2010s trap with a similar distaste. Cench just finds new ways to disappoint me and alienate anyone who either doesn’t understand or doesn’t give a shit about the kind of social media “aura” he surrounds himself with. When it comes down to it, this debuted lower than it should have for Cench. People want to hear bars, man. I don’t know what this really qualifies as but I’m damn sure a lot of the audience for his harder street drill cuts, or even a more general audience who found him through “Sprinter”, won’t care for this one at all, if it’s not just genuinely incomprehensible for them. And yes, I’m very much included in that last section.

#26 - “Guy for That” - Post Malone featuring Luke Combs

Produced by Louis Bell, Charlie Handsome and Hoskins

Posty’s fishing for another hit through the third of these country duets, this time with American megastar Luke Combs, who has charted decently in the UK before with his “Fast Car” cover. As I said before, the UK may not like country music too much, but it likes its big, gruff, rough-and-tumble singer-songwriters, and Combs fits that bill more so than, say, Morgan Wallen. Combs’ more homegrown and honest position in country worried me as it could be less of a neat fit for Post, who even in his country songs has his foot clearly embedded in the pop rock sphere, and yeah, this is evidently his weakest country track yet. This is Post’s third ode to bromance in this album cycle - which is of note when there’s only been three singles - but the detailed lyrics here give it an edge that not only is reminiscent of the same 90s and 2000s country he has in his “country forever” playlist on Spotify but also places it even further into Luke Combs’ territory. He’s been writing about fatherhood recently, so it’s fully in his wheelhouse to evoke the dad trope of having a “guy for that” - a friend you can call up or drive to for each and every little problem he may have. However, this may be Post’s least convincing performance thus far, as he stumbles on the wordiness of the verses and practically murmurs some of the chorus which fills so many words in and is so unnecessarily lengthy that it honestly confused me… and that’s because it tacks on relationship drama to the song for no real reason. Post hasn’t got a “guy for” fixing his relationship, but this seems so pointless when it’s only part of a song mostly preoccupied with listing near-comical situations. This sitcom of a song has Post so desperate to prove his fumbling warble over honestly stale country pop that he refuses to even let the fiddles have room to breathe - what does that tacked-on post-chorus riffing do other than muddy the momentum of the track, which is barely there in the first place?

Even Luke Combs performs bizarrely here as whilst his vocal tone makes more sense, he’s talking about knowing a guy who has a time machine and flexing about his brand new AP watch... what?! You’re Luke Combs, is that supposed to be a brag rap? I can accept being silly but when it comes in tiny flashes in an otherwise stale song, it stands out as tonally unfitting or just desperate. The duo really took the 2000s country pop throwback to its slightest detail as well, as unsubtle Auto-Tune is quietly smothered on some of Combs’ overly patched-up vocal. Why get Luke Combs on to practically take over the track, which ends with some cinematic petering off instead of an actual bridge or narrative resolution where the two can display any chemistry, if you’re going to take the soul out of his performance?

“I Had Some Help” was catchy enough to convince me somewhat on Post’s reinvention but the two following singles have demonstrated some wide open holes in how he approaches this genre, and how awfully the guest vocalists have been implemented. Part of that may be Louis Bell, whose production is fine but he and Post have yet to write any of these songs to have any impact or feel like anything more than a simple, breezy sing-a-long you don’t like but put up with when it plays on the radio during a road trip. Post’s uniquely ambivalent take on the country genre clearly comes from his history in pop-rap, but the last-minute clean-up has been slowly wearing thinner as more music from this album is released, and I am honestly worried that this upcoming album, which I was excited for previously, will end up just as faceless and subtly dysfunctional in the mode it wants to perceive itself in as this track was, purely for the sake of pushing Post headfirst into a trendy movement whilst sticking with songs short enough to gather virality, jeopardising the genuine chance it has to tell a story. I don’t like this song at all, and it has me really concerned if this malformed “duet” is what ends up being the last-ditch attempt at not having the Morgan collab overshadow the rollout entirely.

Conclusion

Yeah, it’s obvious who’s getting Worst of the Week here, though Central Cee’s “gen z luv” has genuine challenge from the Dishonourable Mention, “Lonely Road” by mgk and Jelly Roll. There was a lot this week that was pretty bad, though, but at least it was in an interesting way this time around, and there was a lot to balance it out: Charli xcx gets Best of the Week for “365” whilst Gigi Perez is trailing close behind with “Sailor Song” as the Honourable Mention. As for what’s on the horizon, Charli of course is coming with Billie but the rest may be a bit of an unexpected jumble of tracks - I can pray for Jamie xx and The Avalanches but it’s more likely we see some bubbling under songs get a good week to break through. For now though, thanks for reading, long live Cola Boyy and I’ll see you next week!

#pop music #song review #uk singles chart #post malone #luke combs #central cee #gen z luv #calvin harris #ellie goulding #sonny fodera #jazzy #d.o.d #gigi perez #charli xcx #jelly roll #mgk #aitch #d-block europe

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