#thai society

[mollysunder]

The real sign of the inevitable dissolution of Jayce and Viktor's partnership/friendship really was the Progress Day Speech. I've seen people say this scene highlighted the growing shift in priorities between Jayce and Viktor. That Jayce was getting swept up in the limelight while Viktor wanted to keep it humble and stick to the work, and that's wrong.

First thing's first, Viktor does in fact want to go on stage (he was excited to just demonstrate the hexclaw), and Jayce is sincere in that he wants to share the spotlight and credit for hextech with Viktor. The problem in that scene is that for practically 7 years, Jayce has failed to see what's actually going on.

Jayce can't see that his face and only his face is on the mugs, the blimps, and the very banners that decorate the hall he's supposed to give a speech in. Jayce can't see that the Councilors direct all their questions on hextech to him while Viktor sits right next to him. Jayce doesn't notice that Mel, the most perceptive Councilor, still thought of Viktor as Heimerdinger's assistant (she didn't know they were close??!?!). He doesn't realize that the discussion on weaponizing hextech is centered on him rather than between him and his partner. Viktor isn't the one being invited to Piltover's parties for a reason.

Between Jayce and Viktor, they're partners on equal grounds, but to EVERYONE else in Piltover Viktor is practically a non-entity. The only person who doesn't get this is Jayce. It's a testament to Jayce's earnest naivette to think Viktor, as a Zaunite and visibly disabled, would be easily welcomed on stage by Piltover's elite to represent what Piltover has to offer. You'll notice this is the same crowd of people that attend Mel's Gala, the same Gala Viktor wasn't invited to.

This dynamic is insane!?!?! It's unsustainable!!!!! Obviously, Viktor is a grown man and could have mentioned something to Jayce, but also it's at least 7 years, how does someone miss this?!?!

By their last scene of the finale, Jayce was able to give Viktor a voice on the Council by literally standing by his side and giving him a seat at the table, but like peace treaty, the gesture has come far too late, and things cannot return to as they were.

[sherrymagic]

How dare you mess with my sister? You have no right to do that. Go apologize to her.

Ciize Rutricha as ALPHA in Episode 1 23.5 (2024)

happy early birthday to my beloved @odd-one-advocate 🫶 the complete Alpha in every episode of 23.5 gif series is/will be my little gift for you this year!! i'm so grateful this hellsite brought us together & i hope this will bring you some well deserved joy for the next 10 weeks to come. love you lots ♡♡♡

[sideblog-9000]

JUST WATCHED DEAD POETS SOCIETY!???? I WATCHED IT TO DISTRACT MYSELF. FROM WILSONS FATE IN HOUSE MD. RSL WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM

[gremlinoverlord]

The urge to write an angsty dps fic is so bad idk if I can fight it any more

[misspoetree]

+ Bonus:

KinnPorsche + Text Posts: Vegas Edition - Part II

[Character Editions: Pete Part I & II | Vegas - Part I & III | Tay | Tankhun Part I & II | Porsche Part I & II | Big | Kim | Kinn Part I & II | Porchay | Chan | Macau | Pol]

[Themed Editions: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | ?]

[Episode Editions]

[lordgolden]

Kelsier is literally soooo wild for making a plan to overthrow the all powerful immortal ruler where an essential part of that plan is him dying and then having his corpse eaten by an alien so he can be impersonated and it looks like he came back from the dead. Looney tunes ass plan

[asiangifpacks]

( gif pack update ) 285 gifs have been added to the pond naravit in we are pack, bringing the total to 1013 gifs. click the link above to be directed to the original post or the source link to be directed to the gif page. updated triggers: fireworks, kissing

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With the Essential BLs: Bad Buddy Edition

[The Reasons and Gratitude: While QL has exploded in volume over the last half-decade, I’ve been juggling a career with making and feeding babies. Now that my kids are bigger, I’m catching up on the essential QL dramas. Big ups to @absolutebl’s encyclopedic lists that I use for reference, as well as the recommendations of many dear mutuals. For the Bad Buddy recommendation, I thank my forever darling, @the-nihongo-adventure! Thank you for reading my reviews of shows you’ve already watched! REALLY LONG POST COMING: caveat emptor.]

I’ve been thinking for days on how I should start this review. Bad Buddy has waylaid me with an emotional brutality (in a good way!) that I haven’t been able to shake for weeks. Couple that with a speedy education in the ways of Aof Noppharnach through Moonlight Chicken, and well, my middle-aged heart has taken a lot.

Before I dive in, I’d like to quickly cite the amazing @emotionallychargedtowel, who referenced Murray Bowen’s family systems theory in a post about pursuer-distancer couplings. Family systems theory posits that human behavior is shaped by the structure of the family unit as a complex social system. In other words: through spoken, unspoken, assumed, and expected demands, instincts, boundaries, and pulls/pushes, humans as individuals are conditioned to interact in society vis à vis how they learned to interact with others through their familial upbringings.

Why do I bring this up in regards to Bad Buddy? I haven’t even begun to plummet the sheer depth of analysis about BBS on Tumblr (I’m deeply impressed by the volumes of analysis by my new dear mutual, @telomeke-bbs, whose posts served as wonderful references while I was watching the show), so if I’m repeating popular analysis, I apologize. 

But for me, BBS was rooted first and foremost in a study of intergenerational trauma, and how our two UNBELIEVABLE protagonists, Pran and Pat, battled expected roles and boundaries from their families/family systems and friends to end up together. 

I know now, through Moonlight Chicken, that Aof is an utter master at layering themes together. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

And I want to say upfront that while I want to be an objective reviewer of this show, I absolutely cannot be. While I’m thinking about Aof’s mastery of studying intergenerational trauma through the lens of a QL drama, my heart aches, in passionate subjectivity, about how important his work is for young Asians watching it. I only can wish, as a first-generation child of immigrants from South and Southeast Asia, that I had been able to watch these shows when I was growing up. If I had seen Asians making shows about intergenerational trauma through an Asian lens, about very progressive topics like same-sex relationships in Asia -- I would have known that there was a world of support and shared experiences for the kind of intergenerational trauma that I and my friends faced, when we all were growing up, Asian in America and elsewhere. 

This was a terribly long introduction to say that while many other themes percolated throughout Bad Buddy (in typical Aof fashion, as I’m now understanding), including school dynamics, Thai queer culture, unrequited love, familial acceptance of same-sex relationships, and more -- that for me, in a very biased way, I HAD to see this show through the lens of intergenerational trauma. This show helped me to have hope that generations of continental and diasporic Asians will be better able to fend off these pressures through the medium of drama art.

So. My thoughts on Bad Buddy are rooted in a lens of intergenerational trauma. But what I also picked up on, vis à vis the boundaries I mentioned earlier emanating out of families as complex social systems -- is that Aof threw in a little (actually a lot) of David Hegel’s thesis-antithesis-synthesis framework as well. This framework allows for the criss-crossing of boundaries to come to a unified resolution -- and good lord, Bad Buddy came to that conclusion so INCREDIBLY well. The Hegelian framework was the means by which, I think, Aof could explore tearing down the deep-rooted effects of intergenerational trauma on the Asian society depicted in BBS.

Throughout the entire show, Pran and Pat danced around boundaries. At least at the start of the show, they never dared to cross the line between the two garbage bins in the front of their houses. These boundaries had been CREATED by Pran’s and Pat’s parents. And the boys were taught from birth -- you cross that line, and bad things will happen. Don’t play with the boy next door. Don’t fall for the kids next door. So: don’t get caught in front of us.

But Pat and Pran crossed the boundaries BEHIND their houses, BEHIND the VERY watchful eyes of their families, starting at a young age, and keeping that boundary-breaking a secret. Pran crossed a significant boundary by saving Pa from drowning. 

But then they went to the same university, and new boundaries formed, between their arch-rival faculties. Pat sees that pressure and acts within it, defending his engineering homies against Pran’s architecture friends. 

We saw in the first episode that it would be Pat’s family that would be the first to begin breaking those boundaries as adults -- but it wasn’t Pat who began that work. It was Pa.

I’ve always found it interesting that it’s younger siblings who often have the “easiest” time breaking hard-set boundaries and family codes. I know, because I count in that category (and I know this is an overgeneralization, but just roll with me for a sec). Younger siblings see the shit their older counterparts -- parents, sibs, whoever -- create and deal with. And younger sibs then can develop better ways of managing the pressures that come from that shit. Myself included, I’ve often seen younger sibs be the first ones to marry in family units, to have children, to get jobs, to move away from home, etc. Younger siblings often have the ability to say NO more easily than their older family members. It’s, I think, a natural occurrence to take place in a family system of multiple siblings.

So it’s Pa who says to Pat: promise me you won’t hurt Pran. Right off the bat, she asks for a breaking of a boundary that Pat, his parents, and the engineering faculty homies want to uphold. And Pat, being devoted to his sister, agrees to the promise -- and the whole confused dance between him and Pran as adults begins.

I LOVED this. The show needed an immediate impetus to break what could have been a groaning, stereotypical Romeo-and-Romeo paradigm. This wasn’t going to end in mutual suicide -- hell no, not in a Thai BL. This drama needed to go places. As well, for me, I think Pa was set up to be an indirect foil to the pressures that Pran faces later in the series, simply by way of BEING in the form of a younger sibling.

The repeated theme during the first few episodes that I latched onto was Pran saying to Pat, “things don’t end well when I’m close to you.” In episode 1, Pat retorts -- “at least you won’t get transferred this time around.” In episode 4, Pran repeats himself, and guess what happens? He sees Pat with Ink, and experiences the repeated trauma of unintentional rejection at the hands of Pat. 

So, Pran feels like he’s learning his lesson, time and time again. He’s thinking -- I like Pat, I can’t help but like Pat. But my parents might be right. Bad things happen when this dude is around. My heart gets broken.

What’s the difference between Pran and Pat here? Pat can exist more carefree, open, instinctual. He can like people more openly. He can be honest with his feelings. WHY? Because he had a family support system while he was growing up that allowed him to take risks -- because he had a sibling, because he was the eldest son -- because he knew, through his family structure, that despite his behavior, that his family would be there for him. He was simply raised differently, in part because his family was slightly bigger, and his family had LESS to lose if they potentially lost Pat to a lifetime of disapproval. Pat can take risks, because he’ll still have Pa, even if he loses his parents.

When I think about Pran, through the lens of intergenerational trauma, I go back to the family systems theory. While I was talking about younger siblings earlier, Pran’s a totally different story. He’s an only child. He IS the BRUNT of the familial pressure to conform to everything his family wants him to be. He was raised that way, and no one can help it, if the family unit is a triad. If Pran disappears from his family because of their disapproval -- not only do they NOT have a son, but Pran HIMSELF doesn’t have a family. He has far more to lose. He feels he can’t take risks.

I am sure there’s reams of analysis about how understandable Pran’s reaction to his first kiss with Pat was. But I took his walk away from Pat to be that recognition. Pran simply could not believe in a future with Pat -- no way. Pran would lose everything he knew. 

Hegel’s framework? This is Pran’s thesis: while I love Pat, I can’t have Pat, because if I have Pat, I’m crossing a boundary that should never be crossed. My world will fall apart. I need to walk away and deny that that kiss ever happened.

And what’s the antithesis here? I think, at this moment in the series, the antithesis IS Pat. It’s Pat’s queer revelation, and his ABILITY to just MOVE on his feelings. In just ONE EPISODE, y’all! In episode 5! SO FAST! (Come AWN, Pat, you WINNER, LOVE YOU.) But that’s Pat for you -- Pat, the antithesis of Pran, the guy who can move, because he has less to lose.

(Let me stop for a sec, stop the analyzing. THAT KISS. THE BEST EVER. NANON! OHM! COME AWN! AAAAHHHH!!!!)

So what does Pat do in episodes 6 and 7? He starts the first SYNTHESIS: he crosses that damn boundary and chases after his man. He goes to the zero-waste village, and -- as SO OFTEN happens in Hegelian thesis-based frameworks -- the guys go to the sea, to the water, to cross the water, to kickstart Pran’s antithesis to his life thesis, and to begin their synthesis together, their connection. (Remember Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse and crossing the river, woop woop!)

Like I said before -- not to be a huge fuckin’ nerd or anything, but whoops, too late -- I think the Hegelian framework allowed Aof to WRITE this script and leverage the familial boundary risks for the sake of the show. Because, as I wrote at length in my review of the Cherry Magic movie, taking these risks from the perspective of the Asian family unit is EEEENOOORMOUS. Legit, fam: Asian families WILL dump children. There is disowning. It happens. It’s KNOWN, in the backs of our minds, BAKED UNCONSCIOUSLY into our understanding of who we are as Asian individuals, that our families might give us up, because many of our families have overtly threatened it. Even if there isn’t active disowning, parents can passively judge you and be disappointed in you for the rest of your life, and you damn well know it.

Overgeneralization? Whatever you think. But I’ve experienced it. My friends have experienced it. Kurosawa knew it when he risks disownment to stay with Adachi in the Cherry Magic movie. I severely risked it when I, like, grew up -- when I wanted to date, to get engaged, to get married. I didn’t talk to certain family members for years. My siblings’ relationships were strained. All because I wasn’t falling in line with my family’s expectations for who I needed to be vis à vis THEIR expectations of me -- to stay home and let them dictate how to live my life (literally, not joking).

Instead of doing a typical Romeo-and-Romeo set-up, I think what Aof was doing here, by way of having Pat step out first to begin the boundary-breaking -- and we know now WHY Pat could do that, because of his family system ALLOWING him to be a person to take more risks -- is that he was demonstrating that positive change could happen, the trauma could be stopped, if the guys created family between each other. AOF IS SAYING: I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN STOP THE TRAUMA TOGETHER. I’m crying right now.

And before I get further, another note about Aof’s brilliance. He allowed us to see HOW COMPLICATED Pran is, before the real boundary breaking began. He allowed us to SEE that Pran COULD MAYBE BE OKAY with taking a risk -- vis à vis Pran’s love for music. God, I was SO STRUCK in the scene when Pran is writing the high school song with Pat in episode 5. 

I think Pran’s not just talking about love here. I think, indirectly, he’s also talking about the risk of riling his family boundaries up.

(I want to note quickly that both Aof and Jojo Phukhaotong really leverage Nanon’s acting beautifully in these moments -- besides this music scene, there was Pran and Wai in the library talking about relationships and the school play, and in Dirty Laundry, Night meditates on music and love to a sleeping Neon. Nanon really nails this unwinding in his acting.)

I think Aof included these scenes of Pran meditating like this, because Pat couldn’t just hold Pran’s hand at the beach and sweep Pran away. That’s not how the Hegelian framework works. You gotta be ready, to be active, you gotta do the WORK, to reach enlightenment. The entire series shows Pran’s journey to acceptance about himself and about the fate he’ll have with Pat. We, as viewers, needed to see Pran be ready to do that. Sure, he has a forever crush on Pat. But we’ve now established the utterly enormous risks he faced -- more so than Pat ever needed to deal with -- if Pran’s family learned about Pran’s feelings, leanings, and ultimate decision to be with Pat.

We needed to hear, verbally, that Pran’s hesitation was real, that he was balancing in a very complicated way, all the risks he needed to consider. Maybe some people got frustrated at the high level of his complicated feelings, but I think the pace and plot made total sense. And, oh god -- the scene at the beach, where they touch hands and imagine a world where their parents aren’t fighting. Oh my god. AAAAAHHHH. Tears. Synthesis, baby, synthesis.

So then. The boundaries between the guys come down. They start getting kee-yoot. The games in episode 7, the help with the play in episode 8. It’s chef’s kiss, y’all. 

But the boundaries come roaring back. The trauma resurfaces. Even while Pran contextualizes to Wai in the library -- “you can’t change the person or the time” when you fall in love -- what also doesn’t change is the world around them. The faculties still hate each other. Pat experiences familial rejection for the first time in his dad’s disappointment about the architecture play. The relationship is revealed. Wai rejects Pran. The seniors reject Pat. 

(FAN BREAK: luv you, Aof, that gratuitous shirtlessness at the xylophone, LOVED IT, ::pointing to Aof::, LOVED IT.) 

But. Episode 9 kicks in. Korn comes thru, MVP. (Yum, satay.) And I see something in Pran, when he approaches Pat at the bench at lunch. 

I see Pran finally, truly, CROSSING HIS OWN LINE. Pran could have PANICKED at the revelation of their relationship to the school. He could have used it as an excuse to chicken out, to back away, again to cite that bad things happen when I get close to you, Pat.

But Pran didn’t do that. He holds Pat down, he steadies Pat. They hold each other down, because -- oh god, my chest is aching here, I’m tearing up -- in that moment, Pran’s recognizing that you need to be there for the family you’ve chosen and made. These are HIS NEW BOUNDARIES -- his new family system and unit. It’s his, and his alone. 

Sure, we see in earlier episodes that part of Pran’s love language is nurturing, through cooking for Pat (and sometimes Pa, too, omg so cute), and that he learned that at the hands of his mother. But I saw something different in that simple scene at the lunch bench, after Pat got rejected by his seniors. I saw Pran’s confirmation that he was going to stick the landing of the synthesis, once and for all. That was when he wasn’t going to use any other excuse, ever again, to walk away from Pat, as others had begun to do to Pat. 

And then we get the last three brilliant, BRILLIANT episodes of this already brilliant series. Let me set this up, because I think the way Aof did this, as yuzh, was incredible:

Episode 10: There are too many things about episode 10 to list in this already enormous post. I may have to write a separate post about how I think episode 10 was one of the greatest single episodes of a drama I’ve ever watched (the penultimate episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo also comes to mind). 

In any case, the Hegelian framework comes roaring back. We’re nearing the end of the series, and we need to remember as to why we’re here, and how we got to this point. The episode served as a major reminder of Pran’s original thesis -- we learn the reason why the families were at war. We learn that the demands of the separation came from Ming and Dissaya. The boys come out to their folks. The truth of Ming and Dissaya come out. 

We learn that Ming himself is a product of MAJOR INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA, from his father, so much so that he fucked up a major opportunity for Dissaya. Trauma on trauma on trauma. (Seriously relatable for almost all Asians with pressurized parents.)

And Pran -- PRAN -- TELLS HIS MOTHER, TO HER FACE, that it was HER traumatizing HIM that led HIM to be the way he IS. At the end of this episode, before he rejoins Pat, he finally confronts his mother, and begins his holistic antithesis for the final time.

The boys come back together at the end of the episode, and weep, and embrace. And Pat says: we’re getting the fuck out of here.

(Now’s a good time to link to a meme on intergenerational trauma that my cousins in SE Asia shared with me around the end of 2021 -- interesting timing that this was floating around the WhatsApps and LINEs of that period.)

Episode 11: Leaving. Antithesis. The sea. Crossing boundaries. Living their lives together.

Oh my god, my aching heart. Pat spending most of the episode insisting that they were going to live together, forever, in the village. The antithesis to their lives in Bangkok. Pran knowing better. Pat knowing it, too.

The fact that until the very last minute, the entire episode was spent in the village, meant SO MUCH TO ME. This episode gave the guys TIME to process THEMSELVES, and their decisions. Oh lord, tears on tears.

And: what did the guys do? THEY COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER. CREATING THEIR FAMILY TOGETHER. They were going to do it THEIR WAY -- and, AND, AND -- BREAK THE CHAIN OF TRAUMA that they both faced, as assigned and influenced by their parents, by leveraging their new family unit TOGETHER. 

And who helped give them that oomph, that power? Who helped them get context to see that that work was WORTH DOING -- even if it wouldn’t end up changing their families? 

Uncle Tong. The boys got to see that through Uncle Tong. 

They got to see that one individual, or two individuals together, can’t change the world. The boys learned, indirectly, that they can’t change the world of their parents. But they can improve THEIR OWN WORLD. 

Episode 12: SYNTHESIS. 

When I was perusing the BBS tags for analysis, something I read piqued my interest: that the boys had to remain closeted to their families and friends.

I wouldn’t call it closeted. Instead, I want to guess what Aof was doing here.

I truly think Aof was showing compassion to the parental generation. It’s not the parents’ faults that they themselves were products of intergenerational trauma (peep the meme from earlier). 

For me -- I’m an adult now, but I still carry the scars of my childhood -- I was disappointed not to see a bigger family resolution during my first watch of episode 12. But after a careful rewatch, I think Aof was being majorly realistic in his writing. These families weren’t going to come together in a finale, let alone in a day, let alone after DECADES of fighting. 

Intergenerational trauma has to stop somewhere if you’re cognizant of it, and Pran and Pat’s parents weren’t cognizant of it. But: the guys certainly were. As we saw in the shots above, Pran himself CALLED OUT his mom for it in episode 10. 

So I think I understand why Aof didn’t make a sparkling, holistically accepting ending out of this, because -- it was unrealistic. Ming and Dissaya still carry THEIR scars, and THEY need time to heal, too. 

Their partners -- Pran’s dad and Pat’s mom -- are more ready for that change. They’re getting slightly caught up in the winds of change. Hell, even Pat’s mom says, “We are the adults” in episode 10 to Ming. Like Pa, Pat’s mom is demonstrating a little gentle nudge towards changing HER boundaries of the situation. 

And the boys stated their stance at the end:

“Just like Uncle Tong said, we can’t change the world. All we could do was adjust to it, and live happily. We might not be able to change the people around us. BUT THEY COULDN’T CHANGE THE TWO OF US, EITHER.” [emphasis mine, obv]

I want to make one very last point that deeply touched my heart, and, I feel, confirms my theory about the boys making a new family unit together, complete with the boundaries of their choosing, and refusing to carry the trauma of their pasts. @telomeke-bbs​ wrote a lovely post, in part, about the meaning of Pran’s liquor gift to Ming. I totally agree with the analysis, and just wanted to add some cultural flavor. 

Being an in-law in an Asian family structure means you show respect to your in-law elders. It’s just an unspoken, natural part of our being (and it helps if you like your in-laws). I’m married to a Westerner, but in many ways, I treat my Western in-laws with the same kind of respect as I would if they were Asian. So that means, I cook generously (they don’t expect me to do it, don’t worry -- I just like doing it, because it makes me feel like we’re family), and I serve up fine-ass cocktails (hell yeah). It’s fun, but it also makes me feel like I’m nurturing my extended family.

Pran gave the liquor gift to Ming, because....Ming is his family. Hey, Ming? Womp womp. You’ve got a son-in-law -- because Pran is taking on that role, despite your best efforts to reject that reality. And I see you, Ming, slowly, slowly, slowly begin to imagine that reality when you took a sip. 

The reality is that when the boys became family to each other, they indirectly adopted each other’s families as their own -- because that’s just what happens in a relationship. And the liquor gift confirmed that. My heart SWELLED when Pran gave the gift to Pat, and I saw the duty-free bags in Pat’s family’s living room. How many times have I seen that scene in my life, when fam came back to visit from overseas -- scores of times. It meant so much. I’m going to bring a piece of overseas back to my family, even if my family, my in-laws, reject me. Maturity, motherfuckas. My man, Pran. Best son-in-law.

Aof took SO MUCH of what Asians expect about how our lives should be lived in this show, and absolutely turned it on its head. His SCRUTINY at what keeps adults back, at how adults raise children -- and about how children can CHANGE PARADIGMS, through love and partnership -- is CRITICAL COMMENTARY for young Asians, and young people around the world.

Oh, man. Do I have any more words? I’m all written out. If you got this far, thank you. This show WILL BE required viewing for my kids when they’re older. I want them to see what intergenerational trauma means to their Asian heritage. I want them to CALL ME and my hubs OUT for it. And I want them to know how they can be so strong, like Pat and Pran, to change the trajectory of their lives for the better. 

*Tagging @bengiyo​ by request. <3

[danielsarmand]

pretty privilege is a real thing

[heretherebedork]

So, something I've been thinking about since watching Intern in my Heart for the BL side couple is that one of my favorite and very rare archetypes is the 'straight for society' archetype. Which lead me to think about the 'gay for you' archetype/trope because they're so similar but also completely opposite.

So!

Straight for Society is a specific archetype based on queer characters who, due to the heteronormative society they live in, do not even consider that they might be queer when they absolutely are. That part is important. This is someone who is queer but never thought of it or considered it because the world had told them that they aren't, simple as that. The most extreme version of this is Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee.

(Let me be very clear here, I love Tonhon Chonlatee. Love. Is it good? No. It is amazing? Yes. I adore Tonhon and I love Chonlatee and Neo was glorious in that how and I loved Chon's mom and just the entire friend group was basically perfect... anyway, yeah, just to be clear, love it.)

Tonhon never thought he might be queer because society and his family told him that it wasn't even a choice to be considered and so he never let himself consider it until he was confronted by his own desires in the most literal sense.

And that's what I'm feeling from Grey in Intern in my Heart. He feels like the kind of guy who was always masculine and always tough and so the idea that he was also queer just never occurred to him, especially as he's also obviously attracted to women making it easier to just never consider that as an idea.

But I feel like some people find it hard to distinguish it from gay for you. Which is a distinctly harmful and negative trope (or archetype, depending on how you use the terms and how specific we get with this) that I hate.

Gay for you is about someone who would describe themselves as straight basically saying that they are making an exception for this One Guy that he now love and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with repressing his queerness or being in denial of his identity. He does not identify as queer in any way and it's not society holding him back, this attraction and love is a singular event in his life... or implied to be, at least.

Now, there is at least one exception to this and that is My Only 12% in which he basically goes 'look, I love you and only you and if you need me to identify as gay to be comfortable I will but I wouldn't have otherwise' and that's because it is very clearly set up as him accepting his attraction and then going with it for his identity. There is full respect for the queer identity he's going with and an understanding that while this might be an exception, it's not an exception in terms of gender but rather in terms of ever loving someone like this.

Uh.

Anyway.

All this to say... I wish we had more genuine straight for society characters. I supposed we're kind of getting one in Fire on Cooking Crush but that entire romance is my absolute nightmare... his character is great and, truthfully, a good example of this but the way they're written his relationship with Dynamite sets my teeth on edge.

[eddith]

I’m SO obsessed with mlm media from asia but i find it hard sometimes to really connect with the western mlm.

And the oposite happens with wlw like i cannot for the love of my life connect with the asian sapphic representation😭 but the western??? i feel deranged about it, i wonder why this is🤔

[ryansjane]

hii axelle! 😊 can you recommend me best joss shows? i already love gawin and now i'm intrigued by jossgawin pairing (also i love vampires), but i'm completely unfamiliar with joss' previous work

hi anon, of course I can! :)

so joss made his main role debut in one of the most iconic thai dramas of all time, 3 will be free! it's a polyamorous show in which he plays a bisexual sex worker who escapes from the mafia. it's a thrilling show that literally is one in a million with beautiful lighting & incredible cinematography, and I could NOT recommend it more!!!

joss also played in friendzone 1 & 2 by the same director jojo tichakorn, who's known for his ensemble cast shows with lots of diverse queer characters. spoilers most of joss's shows have been by p'jojo lol! in it he plays a hot love interest, and while I don't really care for his character in this (apart from the hotness of course 👀), friendzone is a really solid show that I love, especially season 2!

fun fact joss was responsible for the first ever lakorn I've watched (thai soap opera), game rak ao keun! and it's honestly a really good lakorn, of course it's very over the top but the story is super entertaining & the acting excellent! watch the alternative ending tho!

then joss was also in my favorite storyline of good old days with namtan! good old days honestly was a really good show who deserved more love imo, and I really loved joss's storyline especially!

joss was also in mama gogo, another jojo tichakorn show where he plays a gogo boy with so many other faves of mine! it's peak joss hotness & absolutely one of the cutest shows!

then in 2023, joss was in loneliness society, which some people didn't like bc it's very lakorn-adjacent so can be very infuriating, but I really liked it! first of all it's the first time joss delivers a truly great emotional performance, but also his character was so cute & charming in it, and very different from all of his others! usually he always plays roles that rely on his good looks & abs, but not this time, and I really appreciated it! (also it's the same pairing as game rak ao keun!)

and lastly bc it's not that great of a show but joss still honestly ate, we have the player, another p'jojo show. joss is his usual hot self & has some homoerotic tension with mek jirakit's character which delivers on one of the most queer scenes I've ever seen, and just for that, that show deserves to be on the list!!! (do not watch it just for joss being potentially queer lol, the two gifsets I've made are all we get!)

xxx

[enha-stars]

i hate when people ask me stupid questions 😭 use your common sense bro, PLEASE.

“hey, are you using that?” as i’m using that. “are you busy?” after i’ve texted them that i am, indeed, busy. “is this yours?” as i’m holding onto it. “are you done eating?” as i’m clearly not done eating because i’m still chewing, spoon in hand, and rice on the plate.

[achilleasfury]

from the WIP ask game: 3zun mythical creatures sound FASCINATING please talk more

okay so!!

Currently im very undecided about what specific creature they are, because i keep moving it around lol

But tbe first idea is; Jiggy is half a fox spirit, half human. My notes on rhat are "BIG MAMA MENG is the fox spirit, a-yao is the precious treasure" i think im gonna stick with fox spirit, bc yes, but also?

NMJ was supposed to be like a bull-hybrid or something, but Im making him a minotaur/msht like that now bc I Can. (Shout out to NPC Bluud the minotaur from my dnd campaign who pushed me into fixation on minotaurs and centaurs. Love the guy.) Also i think i really want to give him the labyrinth symbolism. Like the haunted saber flesh cave thing from [nie-centric movie] but specifially for Him.

LXC is a dragon. I love dragons. I have zero (0) notes on him except "DRAGON, MATE MATE MATE" and half a note on egg-children. Love them.

The fic starts with a Xiyao meet cute with vaguely reversed dynamics? A-Yao is getting chased and caught by hunters and Xichen eats them :) what is one supposed to do, when a pretty, hurt fox is near your cave?

>>

It felt like his spine would snap any second. It was bent and twisted in impossible directions. His joints were pulled apart and squished together again, like he was just a tiny stress toy, for someone so much larger than him.

His innards were sloshing around, being made to fit all positions he was forced in.

Voices were screaming at each other, yelling commands, or maybe encouragement. He couldn’t tell anymore, for his ears had long since given up on functioning, trying to shield him from the cruelness of the hunter's words.

A high pitched sound came from somewhere above him.

He tried to get his eyes to open, to figure out which threat would come for him now. His eyelids fluttered, but refused to open correctly, for dried blood was gluing them together.

The sound stopped.

No more screeching.

The hands on his body pulled away and he could feel his body trying to snap together again.

A presence still lingered above him.

It seemed to bask him in shadow and cold, in silence and fear.

Something sharp tapped on his back, somehow caressing his body carefully.

“Are you alright?”

<<

(Again, just a draft And god i hate the word sloshing but i also refuse to look up synonyms out of spite.)

now that i think about it, Hydra!LXC is a fascinating concept. Or Hydra!JGY. He fits a hydra nicely maybe. Or hydra!wrh. Ohh, that'd be funky.

-

After LXC saves MY they spend Yunping-like time tgt in the cave :) cave buddies. They discover the joys of companionship and homoerotic woundtending. Technically also homoerotic companionship but i typed out the word cock once and had to close the tab, so.

i do really wanna get into the nesting instincts of both dragons and *handwave* fox-ish creatures because boy do i love a good nesting.

>>

Meng Yao watched with half lidded eyes as Lan Xichen moved around. The dragon was collecting softer material and piling it atop the bed.

It ranged from blankets, over robes to simply linen sheets, that were softened from being washed a lot.

He carefully made his own way across the room, running his fingertips over the blankets, then the pillows, already at the headrest of the bed. He could feel his own instincts lurk under his skin, begging to be let out. Begging to be let loose, free to arrange, mix and match the fabrics, make his own nest, a safe spot for what was to come.

Slowly, Meng Yao lowered himself onto the mattress, immediately drawing his legs closer to his core, when he was seated.

Lan Xichen shot him a short glance, his gaze softening, impossibly full of affection, before turning away again, just to press a robe - light blue, with fine embroidery - into Meng Yao’s hand.

When the fox spirit regarded the robe further without doing anything with it, the dragon made a slightly unhappy noise. Immediately after he looked like a deer in the flashlights, frozen, surprised with himself.

“My apologies, A-Yao.”, he muttered, gaze falling to the floor in embarrassment. “I simply meant- will you maybe -”, he closed his eyes and took a breath, unsure of his own desires and ability to express them. “Would you wear the robe? I think you’d look splendid in them.”

An almost mean little smile flashed over Meng Yao’s lips, but he nodded and began unceremoniously to strip himself and exchange robes.

“If that is what the almighty Zewu-Jun wishes, who am I to decline?”

<<

(I do feel like i have to add that both exerpts were written like. In september LMAO its been a bit, whoops)

I was originally planning for them to just. Have a neat little fluff thing going on, where egg-nant jgy meets nmj and they bond somehow and *handwaving* wuuh 3zun, but now its more of a. Xiyao finds NMJ in the Labyrinth/Castle thing and either they play curse breaker (which actually would be a fun thing to get into, if one goes into the direction of "dragon blood solves/cures everything" or they get trapped there for a long time all tgt, and its like. Forced proximity but because they all have like. Specific things which i forgot cause its 8pm and my bedtime (/hj i need atleast 10 hours otherwise i hit a downphase agter 3 to 6 hours of being awake LMAO).

they get eggs. Rusong. Children. I need Xichen (who did NOT give birth to the eggs, rip him) to be likem. Snake-style coiled aroind them all the time. But not in snake-egg version, im goinf with hardshell eggs bc snake eggs are so cool and fascinating but im not having them "need to be up and not too close so they dont stick tgt and also dont flip bc otherwise the babies die"- thing going on. Snakes <3 so interesting and cool. Hensheng should be a snake that 'imprints' on MY and gets into hissy fights wirh lxc. They deserve it.

[lemonfreshlysqueezed]

Ray is questioning if he is too much, if he might me a too hot of a mess. So messy that he might hurt (/burn) someone.

[bl-bam-beyond]

NARAVIT LERTRATKOSUM

[Nickname: POND]

@pose4photoml