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jeanette-luminia · 1 year

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Hi!! can I request a Larissa x teacher!reader with a really shy reader but is also a people pleaser. Basically reader finally asks Larissa out on a date. Reader wanted it to be the best date ever so they planned a lot but Larissa completely forgets. And I mean like maybe a few days have passed and she still hasn’t remembered because of work. Reader doesn’t want to make a fuss so acts okay but also avoids Larissa a little until one day, Marilyn (just Marilyn) who is reader’s best friend who was maybe away for a conference comes back and asks Larissa how the big date went and Larissa panics and apologizes to reader and asks for a second chance. Fluffy ending please. Thank you!!

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 || 𝑳𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑨 𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑴𝑺

a/n: I got kinda lazy at the end but hopefully this is good!

It's a rare sight for you to stand up and walk with confidence. You’d rather be quiet, having the sound of nature, maybe reading in the library, hidden amongst the people. Going out of your way just to please people even with your shy demeanor. Preferably, you’d help through the shadows, not wanting to draw out attention.

You prefer that way.

Meeting Larissa Weems didn’t exactly help with this case. Ever since working at Nevermore Academy, meeting her was either a blessing or a curse. You were absolutely smitten with her, helping her with work and the students.

God, it was love at first sight. But it truly wasn’t.

You gradually fell for her, and each moment you spent time with her made you fall into an inevitable pit that is called love. A pit you fall deeper and deeper into the abyss. Every time you try to hide it, and when she shows up, all the walls you’ve built around it crumble.

She stood in the middle of the garden of Nevermore, shoulders slacked and hair untied. Still, in her usual working clothes, she relaxed amid the night. You bask in all her beauty.

“It’s quite late to be here, Principal Weems.” Larissa turned around and smiled.

“I could say the same thing, Dear.” You always hated how her endearment affects you, those simple words made your knees weak.

You averted your eyes away from her. “I just have something on my mind.”

“I could say the same thing." She said, "Now, what's troubling you?"

You shook your head. "It's nothing, Principal—"

"Call me Larissa, we're alone."

"As I said, It's nothing." You gently retorted. The cold wind brushed against both of you, shivering from the cold night.

"You're cold."

"I'm fine."

"You'll catch a cold."

You wished to fight back, wanting more time with her, but it's in the midst of October, and the weather has been getting colder as winter is soon coming.

"Okay." She gave you a small bow and headed off to guess her office. You strike confidence, it’s now or never.

“Can I take you out?” she paused, turning around to see if she heard it right. “Say that again?” Her tone was never offended or anything, she was curious. Her lips curled up slowly.

Feeling a heat creep up to your cheeks as you play with the hem of your clothes. “Can I take you out? Like on a date?”

“Okay,” She said, not breaking eye contact with you, while you were barely keeping it.

“How does Friday at 6 pm sound?”

“Let's do that.”

Suddenly, the night wasn’t as cold as it was.

You wanted everything to be perfect, setting up the date and making a reservation in a secluded restaurant in Jericho. You even asked your friend, Marilyn for help, as she was the one who wanted you to confess already.

You stood just around the corner of Weathervane waiting for Larissa. 5:50 PM.

You dolled up, wanting to impress her, but god you should have chosen much shorter heels than a three-inch one, your feet already want to give up. But you perceive, wanting to keep this date.

Twenty minutes passed, and she was nowhere to be seen. You can see the stares of others, pitying you as if you’ve been stood up. But you kept waiting.

Minutes turned into an hour, the Weathervane was closing, and you’d been standing on the sidewalk for more than an hour in these god-horrendous heels. You sighed, feeling defeated, and pulled out your phone to cancel the reservation.

You could tell the lady behind the door felt pity for you. You hated being pitied.

After hours of standing, you walked away from where you were once standing. Removing the heels and opting to walk barefoot till you arrive at your apartment. Feeling an overwhelming feeling that builds up, making your tears swell up with tears. You were thankful that there aren’t people in the streets anymore.

You sobbed quietly, vigorously wiping the tears away. That night, the cold was harsh.

Monday came into the picture. No calls, no texts, no nothing. You received nothing from her. Seeing how packed her schedule was, you opted not to consult her about this. This isn’t as important as work. You can understand.

Marilyn happily walked to the corridor of Nevermore after her two days for a conference. She knocked on Larissa’s door and entered as she heard her words come in.

“Good morning Principal Weems, here are the papers from the conference.”

“Thank you, Ms. Thornhill.” She smiled, taking the papers in her hands and giving them a quick look.

“If I could ask, How was your date?”

She paused, slowly looking up at her. “Date? I don’t believe I went to—” she felt a lump in her throat. The date. The date she had agreed to two days ago. “Fuck.”

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” She retorted, seeing the guilt on Larissa’s face.

“I didn’t mean to, I was too involved with work I–” she tried to make up excuses, but she knew it was not worth listening to. “That was two days ago.”

Larissa buried her head in her hands, shame and guilt build up. She heard Marilyn sigh, slightly afraid of what she'd say.

“Go apologize to them, she probably locked herself in their office.” Larissa stood up, but before heading out, Marilyn called her.

“Principal Weems.”

“Yes?”

“I’ll let it slide this time. There won’t be next time.” her voice was stern.

She smiled slightly. “Then I won’t waste your kindness.” After that, she heads out to find you.

Once she arrived in front of your office, she felt nervous. Her hands were trembling, feeling a lump in her throat. Before she could knock, your door opened. After two days without seeing you, she saw slight changes in your appearance.

The bags are under your eyes even though you desperately try to hide them with makeup. The way your back is hunched back, and trying your hardest to go through your day.

“Oh. Larissa, What brings you here?” you asked even though you already know.

“Can we go inside?” You opened the door wider, welcoming her into your office. She mouthed ‘Thank you’ as she walked inside.

You closed the doors and turned your attention to her. “So…”

You play with your finger, eyes on your shoes. Even though it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help but avoid her gaze.

She cautiously approaches you. “I’m sorry dear. I’m sorry for making you wait for nothing, I’m sorry for not showing up. I got caught up with work and I know it's ridiculous. I mean, I didn’t contact you for two days but believe me, I am sorry for what I did.” she slowly reached into your hands and intertwined them with hers.

“I’m sorry love, if I could turn back time I would leave my work and go on a date with you.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “If you would like to give me a chance, will you go on a date with me?” her eyes say nothing but guilt and hope. Hope that you will take up the offer.

“You won’t be late?” you asked softly.

She smiled. “I won’t.”

“You won’t leave me alone?”

She brings you into an embrace, slowly petting your head and planting a kiss. “I never wish to leave you alone again.”

#☕: writes #larissa weems x reader #gwendoline christie x reader #larissa weems #gwendoline christie

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isimpfortoomanypeople · 2 years

Text

Winter blues- Eddie Munson x ex Gn reader

Part 1

You thought that you found the perfect person, the one person who would love you no matter what. But why did he turn around and break up with you out of the blue? Returning back from winter break was always going to be hard but you didn’t expect for it to be this hard.

Warnings: smoking, depression, negative self talk (the reader calls themselves pathetic in this) anxiety, alcohol, car crash, mentions of injury, angst, mentions of cheating, mentions of drugs and Eddie being a dick but not as much as the first part. Angst with a happy ending and the reader ends up dating someone at the end, I think you can predict who

A/N: thanks for all the love and for helping me write the ending of the this fanfic, I hope that you all like it. You all didn’t want Eddie back and I mean fair enough he was an asshole. Also Chrissy isn’t the villain in this, mostly because I met the actress and she called me cute and pretty so I stan Chrissy lol, also I’m 5’4 and she was smaller than me so that was my reference for her being short in his. I’m glad that you like the songs to listen to so I recommend ‘if you can’t hang’ by Sleeping with Sirens for all of it, ‘Lent’ by autoheart and ‘tequila wine’ by oliva O’Brien till the 7th break. Then ‘a little of your time’ by mae muller, ‘cinnamon girl’ by Lana del ray and ‘line without a hook’ by Ricky Montgomery till the end. I non stop wrote this over the weekend, I love the angst in this and the ending too. I’m from the U.K. sorry if some parts sound overly British, apologises for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

“God I hate him” you sighed resting your head on Gareth’s shoulder as he passed the cigarette that was pressed to his lips to yours.

“You and me both, remind me again why I can’t slash the tyres in his van?”

Taking a long drag, letting out a smile allowing your body to further melt away on to his shoulder.

“As much as I’d love that, it’s technically vandalism and the last thing I need right now is you going to jail” you gently laughed.

It was moments like these that you were extremely thankful, like someone out there was looking out for you enough to land you someone like Gareth in your life. You couldn’t of asked for a better friend, you knew that he had your back no matter what. At this point you were genuinely convinced that he’d help you hide a body, but then again with the whole Eddie situation that may become a reality. Maybe Eddie finally did something right? as he brought you two together, you truly were as thick as thieves.

Gareth was the first person you called as soon as you felt like you weren’t being eaten alive by the darkness of your sorrows. When you recovered the very little strength you could muster after having your heart that wasn’t only just trampled on but tore into so many pieces you doubt you could ever put them back together again. You shakily dialled the second number you knew off by heart.

It didn’t take much for Gareth to run as fast as he could to your house. All you needed to do was croak the words “Eddie was here”, and that was all it took for him to throw down his drumsticks and told his younger sister that he had an emergency he needed to attend to. And Gareth stuck to your side the moment he arrived, offering you a shoulder to continue your crying on and to once again help to pick up the remains of your heart off the wooden floor.

Your bedroom filtered into a comfortable silence with the voice of Joan Jett softly filling in the spaces that the silence left open. The room glowed in the golden hues of the early sunset for the sun graced you with some comfort that this wretched day is soon drawing to an end.

“Are you going to the party this Saturday?”

You snorted at even the mere suggestion that you could function enough to attend such a thing, the thought of painting on a fake plastic smile and pretending that you weren’t seconds away from fading away into the abyss of depression, you could barely do the basics of human survival such as eating and sleeping never mind a party.

“You’re kidding right?”

“Come on Y/N, do you really want to spend your last year in high school saying that you allowed some prick who couldn’t even pass senior year two times to stop you from being a normal teen? Or do you want to say that you went to the wildest parties before you fuck off to some well respected college? And you’ll think ‘I remember that Gareth dude, he was alright too bad I forgot about his stupid ass” Gareth joked, tickling your sides with his fingers forcing you into a fit of laughter, this was the first time you smiled in two weeks. You curled to your side, swatting away his arms to protect yourself from his attack, leaving you scarlet red and out of breath with laughter

“As if I could forget about you” you breathlessly spoke between gasps as you started to get your breath back. “You’re stuck with me forever you asshole”

He smiled at you, drawing his hands away from your sides and held them up in surrender. Just thankful that he made you smile, for he believed that you deserve nothing more than to be happy. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, so is it a yes?”

“Only if you’ll stop attacking me!”

“Of course”

—————————————————————————

You stared at yourself in the mirror, touching at your face drawing back the fleshy part of your cheeks showing the purple bags that had doubled in size, you pressed your lips together trying not to fall back into a million pieces. Trying to convince yourself that this wasn’t a mistake you getting ready tonight.

Staring back at this person you barely recognise anymore, their eyes don’t even look the same anymore, only embers remains telling you that the resident left a long time ago leaving a lifeless hollow in its place. Your eyes became glassy you wanted to scream at yourself for allowing you to leave your bed, as depression convinced you that all you needed to do was crawl into your blanket covered coffin and lie there till it would all be over, as that’s what you deserved! As why would Eddie leave you!

This was definitely a mistake!

Your thoughts was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Are you ready..” Gareth’s words trailed away as he saw you in a state of utter distress. Yes he has seen you at your worse but you looked so lifeless it’s scary

“I’m going to sit this one out Gare” you mumbled barely looking him in the eyes, the faster you could close the door, the faster you could allow yourself to be consumed by the deathly grip depression had on you.

The reality that Eddie has been cheating on you truly hit you like a truck the moment Gareth closed the door. You felt so alone drowning in your tears, feeling so inadequate for Chrissy was so perfect, everything you were not. Maybe Eddie didn’t want to be seen with someone so pathetic as you?

You couldn’t shake this vice like grip depression had on you, it was the reason you hid away. Kept it away from Gareth for you already burdened him once he didn’t deserve it again.

“No you’re fucking not!” He spoke with so much force it shocked you both into silence by his sudden outburst. He let out a sigh and took a second to compose himself, to calm himself down before he spoke again. “ I love you Y/N you’re my best friend, but I can’t stand to see you destroy yourself over someone who isn’t worth shit. I know it hurts but he isn’t worth this, I want one night to become a reckless drunken mess with my best friend, so please come if not for yourself do it for me?” He pleaded his eyes looking into yours becoming more and more glassy as each second went by, he wanted you to see how much your pain was hurting him too.

—————————————————————————

You threw back your third shot while chasing it back down with god knows what was in that punch bowl, it smelt like straight ethanol but at this point you welcomed the burning sensation it left down your throat as it brings the promise of forgetting.

You slumped against the wall gulping back the lethal punch as if it was water, you felt the small buzz of intoxication creeping into your brain like a welcome friend.

Gareth was taken away from you by Jeff, he looked at you as to say ‘I can stay here if you need’, but you laughed saying that he needs to enjoy the last remainder of his high school parties, even though especially now that you wish that he had stayed.

Sighing as you felt like you could actually relax for the first time in two weeks, as your mind melted away into a blur, you finally felt the break up slipping away from your mind, bringing out the smile that you thought you had lost

But like all good things that happen to you it was bound to come to an end

Fuck my life!

Who should walk in? No other than the most sickening couple of Hawkins high.

Eddie walked in with his fingers laced through Chrissy’s, she placed her perfectly glossed lips upon his before she was whisked away by a couple of her cheerleading friends.

You watched as Eddie put his hands in the back of his Jean pockets, his eyes looking around the room, his posture slumped looking far from his usual environment.

Upon his eyes searching the room to find a familiar face he could find, so he wouldn’t have to spend the night alone waiting till his girlfriend became too intoxicated so he had to drive her home. His eyes found yours, you rapidly moved your eyes away from his for it felt like your eyes were on fire, blinking rapidly to douse the flames he caused

Eddie felt a pang of guilt gnawing at his consciousness upon seeing you, actually seeing you, not acting upon cowardice by refusing to look at you like he did during your last encounter. His heart broke as the consequences of his own actions finally hit him and it hit him hard. Fuck did he really do this to you?

You looked gaunt, you looked sickly pale almost unrecognisable from the person he use to love

You felt your anxiety making your heart rate increase in quick successions till it was palpitating. Yep you definitely needed to drown the painful memories of Eddie into too much booze till they became hazy

You down your 2nd drink like it was water cringing at the acrid aftertaste it had, it somehow gotten stronger since your last drink. Pouring yourself another you heard an all too familiar drunken laugh

“Y/N, oh my god!, how are you?” Chrissy smiled as she ran up and hugged you with so much force it caused the drink you were ladling to spill.

“Hey Chris” you forced out with a fake smile, so fake that it took every muscle in your body to hold

“You didn’t answer my question silly” she slightly slurred bopping you on the nose, she fell into a fit of giggles which made you question how much she had to drink, yet again if you were her height it wouldn’t take you a lot to get drunk either.

God it was getting hard to swallow down this anger you were feeling, you knew it wasn’t Chrissy’s fault but if you were faced with the person your ex chose over you, there definitely would be some resentment towards them

“It’s going good, how is your boyfriend?” You didn’t mean for the words that fell off your tongue to be so bitter, but the buzz of alcohol blurred the filter that lay between your brain and your mouth

“It’s going good with me and Eddie?” She puzzled over your sudden standoffish behaviour, yes you rarely spoke but you never had anything against each other either, so why were you being so mean?

The third drink started to slur your thoughts so that very limited filter you had moments before disappeared entirely

“How long have you been dating?”

“3 weeks, why?”

“Well because for the first week of your relationship, I was still dating him!” You spat out chugging back the rest of what was in your solo cup, looking up you saw Chrissy looking back at you with wide eyes and her lips trembling

“What?”

“Eddie cheated on me with you when he got bored with me, so I’d start running now chris if I was you before you waste 6 months on him like I did” tears started to brew at your eyes during your anger fuelled outburst, you couldn’t help but feel some guilt over the words you uttered. For this anger was meant for Eddie not for the strawberry blonde cheerleader in front of you, she did nothing wrong except love the same boy you once did

“Y/N, I’m so sorry” she cried, wiping away the tears that smudged her perfectly winged eyeliner, “I promise you I wouldn’t of dated him if I knew, he told me that you broke up. God I’m such a bitch!”

“Chris-“

But it was too late, she ran off out of the kitchen holding her half full cup of punch , leaving you to realise what you’ve just done.

You and your stupid mouth!

You ran out towards the living room following the teary eyed cheerleader in sight

Shit! Shit! Chrissy please don’t do anything stupid!

“What the fuck!” You heard Eddie shout.

You turned and saw his shirt covered in chrissy’s remaining punch, his eyes furrowed in shock over what just happened

“That’s for telling me you were single when you weren’t, fuck you I thought you weren’t like the rest” she shrieked capturing all the attention from the room, someone even turned down the stereo to direct everyone’s attention to drama about to unfold.

No one could predict what was about to happen next, as her perfectly manicured hand slammed its way across Eddie’s cheek leaving an angry red mark in its place

“We are over!” And with that she stormed away with her crew not following too far behind

You stood in complete shock. 100% Eddie deserved it, in fact you were jealous you didn’t do it first. But also because you didn’t think she could pack such a punch

Your eyes met Gareth who couldn’t hold back his laughter, now you definitely was glad that you were able to be convinced in to coming tonight

—————————————————————————

“I can’t believe she would slap him like that” Gareth howled out clutching his stomach as he recalled last nights events

“I’m sad it wasn’t me who did it” you chuckled wiping away the tear that fell from laughing so hard

“Never say never, I’d pay good money for you to beat the ever living shit out of him”

“At that point Gare I think it might be called a snuff film as there’s no way he’d make it out alive”

You both laughed till your abdomens hurt, you were both on the way back from family video, deciding that watching the exorcist and eating pizza was the only way to soothe your remaining hangovers

“That it might be- HOLY SHIT Y/N-“

The rest of Gareth’s sentence turned into fuzz like the static you got when you were trying to get your tv to connect to a station.

Everything happened in slow motion, you clutched at the wheel trying to stop your car that was rapidly skidding out of control on the black ice you couldn’t see.

The ice throttled you at full speed towards the trees not too far ahead

Your vision started to fade in and out of consciousness, your sight started to fade. You could see the faint outlines of a tree inches away from your face, broken glass from your windscreen glistening with blood in the harsh winters sun, before your world slowly faded to black

—————————————————————————

Gareth sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room, adding more to the discomfort he felt after being in a car crash. He bit his nails, trying to numb the anxiety that made him feel like he was going to pass out.

No matter how many nurses told him to go home and they’ll call him once they had any more news. But he couldn’t leave especially when his best friend could be dying, the guilt was eating him alive, like his body was caving in. He escaped with a few cuts from the windshield spraying glass shards over his face and a few broken ribs which the doctor told him would heal, while you? He doesn’t know, wishing that it was him in your position as at least then he’d know that you would be alright

He had nothing to distract him, only his own thoughts to plague him for surviving, for not needing the surgery you had to undertake. He hated feeling so useless, there was nothing he could do to reverse what had happened. God he hated this

Oh you got to be fucking kidding right now!

“I’m here to see Y/N L/N” by the reception stood a very worried looking Eddie, his eyes red and glassy. The way his chest moved in quick successions showed that he dropped everything and ran straight here.

The receptionist pointed Eddie in the direction of where Gareth was sat . Eddie gulped as he approached the seats for Gareth was glaring daggers into his skin, piercing his flesh for hurting you and having the audacity to show his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Did you really think that when you phoned Jeff about not making it to rehearsal, that he wouldn’t tell me?”

Eddie sat a few seats away from Gareth and ran his fingers through his hair, he looked distraught as more tears flooded down his face.

“How are they?” He asked looking at Gareth in the eyes, his voice shaking with fear. “Look I know that you hate me, but I still love them-“

“That’s bullshit” Gareth scoffed, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes, he almost wanted to start applauding Eddie for he was putting on quite the show. The tears was truly convincing, Eddie should really consider acting

“No its not-“

“You broke up with them with a pitiful excuse for them to then find out that you’ve been cheating on them, wow Eddie you’re truly living up to the Munson name” Gareth spat, yes it was a low blow to bring up Eddie’s bastard of a farther but right now Gareth was seeing red

“Fuck you!” Eddie growled his nostrils started to flare. Gareth better reign it in otherwise Eddie would have no control over what he may do next

“Why do you care about them now? where were you when they actually needed you? Probably putting your tongue down the throat of Chrissy Cunningham, you’re only showing up now because you want to be seen as this good person. But no Eddie, I know you, you’re full of shit, you’re fucking pathetic”

“Well considering you’re picking out the flaws in everyone, what about you mr perfect? You stay in the background till you disappear, you’re that uninteresting that people couldn’t give less of a shit about you. You had no life so you had to copy my own, you’re a damn carbon copy of myself it’s laughable. Maybe that’s why your dad left you because he was so ashamed of having a low life for a son-“

Eddie’s words was cut short by Gareth’s fist colliding with his nose, Eddie froze momentarily in shock that he didn’t hear the sickening crack, only when he felt blood pouring into his mouth did he register that Gareth had punched him.

Gareth stood glaring at Eddie, his fist still out stretch, his knuckles starting to turn red. Pressing his lips into a thin line as his brain was a fury of blazing flames, he wanted nothing more than in this moment than to make Eddie leave here in a hearse.

Eddie slowly sat back down, his eyes still wide clutching at his blooded nose, what the fuck just happened?

“I’m sorry” he mumbled “that was too far”

Gareth didn’t respond, he turned his back to him. Slowly counting to ten to cool himself down before he did something he’d regret, he thought of you and that you need him here not in the back of a police cell

The atmosphere was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Both boys froze in utter shock over the events that happened moments prior

“But I did mean what I said earlier” he sighed, his voice breaking with sorrow, he couldn’t lose you not yet. “I still love them, fuck i really love them. I stupidly threw what we had away and I’m paying for that every single day, me and Chris both had the same shared trauma that no one else could understand so we both found comfort in each other, so I stupidly kissed her. Fuck! I hate myself”

Gareth slowly turned around to face him, his facial muscles dropping the tension it was holding earlier. He swallowed thickly

“You realise that is far from an excuse right?”

“Yes I do, I don’t deserve them, I know I don’t, but I could lose them and I can’t live if that happened” Eddie’s voice cracked, the dam that held the full weight of his despair came flooding through, resulting in him curled up in a pool of tears.

Gareth sat next to him, he knew he shouldn’t take pity on him but when you were friends with someone for years, it was hard to let them go that easily.

“We were driving and their car skidded on ice and we were hurled towards these trees, I remember them trying to stop the car but it was too late. Next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed and being told that they’re in surgery. I’m sure that they’re going to be fine, you know Y/N they’re as tough as nails” Gareth gently chuckled defusing the tense atmosphere that felt like it was suffocating them both.

“I really fucked it up with them haven’t I?”

“To be honest with you, yes you have”

“I’m sorry Gare I wish this could of all been different, I wish that I hadn’t screwed up, but that’s all I’ve ever done. It’s what I do best, I was a coward and like always I ran away” Eddie croaked wiping away the stray tears on his freckled cheeks.

“Eddie, I don’t know why you’re telling me this, it’s Y/N they’re the one you should be saying this shit to” Gareth took a second to breathe before the atmosphere became heated again, he ran his fingers through his hair trying his hardest not to yell at the brunette boy beside him. “Look I’ll call you if I hear any news, but you’re quite possibly the last person they want to see right now, and if you mean what you said to me right now you’d go home and speak to them when they’re better”

—————————————————————————

You cringed as you adjusted yourself to lay more comfortably on the hospital bed. You couldn’t describe the excruciating pain that flooded over your body, imagine a knife stabbing and twisting all over your body again and again, nothing relieved the agony you were feeling, the cocktail of pain relief you received did jack shit. You couldn’t breathe without your muscles spasming in pain.

The doctors informed you that you were involved in a car crash that left you with a broken leg, several broken ribs and a concussion that you will be kept in over night for them to keep monitoring the severity of it.

This was the last thing you needed right now, well at least the physical pain would help to distract you from the emotional pain

“Hey” you turned to see a very bruised looking Gareth holding one of those crappy bears you could buy at a card shop, that held a heart saying ‘get well soon’ on it.

You smiled at him, just glad you know that he is okay, laughing at the gift he got you. But the laughter further aggravated the stabbing sensation in your ribs, so the smile was soon replaced with a frown.

“You asshole, don’t make me laugh it hurts” your voice raspy from the pain and only just waking up 30 minutes prior.

“Excuse me for bringing my friend some joy over the shit we just went through” he quipped sitting down on the chair next to you, placing the bear on the bedside table. You jokingly rolled your eyes at his comment. “How are you?”

You gave him another glare, what is it with this boy and stupidly obvious questions?

“I know, stupid question”

“Well apart from being in the worst pain imaginable I’m living so I suppose it could be worse

“Even going through near death, they still don’t miss the chance to attack me with their words” he chuckled, he looked at you taking in every part of you, he smiled forever thankful that you survived. “I’m just glad that you’re okay”

“You too Gare, when I woke up I was so scared that something really bad had happened to you. After everything I’ve been through I couldn’t loose you too, I just can’t” your eyes started to well up at even the thought of losing him

“Hey” he cooed wiping away the tear that fell with his thumb, “I’m not going anywhere you’re stuck with me for life”

“What happened to your hand?” You asked with concern upon seeing the grazed flesh on his still red knuckles.

“I punched Eddie”

“What!” You exclaimed looking at Gareth with narrowed eyes, checking if you heard him right

“He came here earlier, I phoned Jeff saying that I wouldn’t make it to band practice tomorrow and he must of told Eddie. I told him to fuck off and that he wasn’t wanted here, he brought up shit about me and my dad so I punched him” he said nonchalantly, like this is something mundane that you would expect to had happen while you were unconscious.

“I’m sorry Gare, but I’m also pissed that I didn’t get to do it first. God Chrissy gets to slap him, you get to punch him, save some of the Eddie abuse to me” you weakly laughed trying not to upset the aching muscles

“Hey no one has killed him yet, you could be the first”

Gareth spent three hours by your side, it should of been two but the nurses took pity on you both, plus the hospital was pretty quiet so having him stay another hour wasn’t hurting anyone. You were pretty sure that they believed you two to be dating but at the sake of having your best friend at your side for another hour, you were more than happy to let them believe whatever they wanted to.

Before he left he told you what Eddie had told him, which left you with the heavy question looming in the air, something for you to over think when you were kept up till the early hours of the morning

What the fuck are you going to say to Eddie?

—————————————————————————-

You were discharged the morning after as all your vitals seemed stable, with no sign of brain damage or memory loss indicating that your concussion was only mild. Leaving the hospital with three different bottles of medication and your right leg tightly wrapped up in bandages.

You spent the next week on bed rest, it felt so tedious. Sure the pain subdued and you could move without feeling like your were being burnt alive, without the sharp pains of your broken ribs pressing into your sides with each breath.

But you felt like you were dying a slow painful death not by any physical pain but the boredom was fucking torture. There’s so many repeats of your favourite tapes you could take before bohemian rhapsody made you want to claw at your ears, the only thing that could distract you and it was hard to admit was homework that Gareth brought you every day. Who would of thought that trigonometry would bring you any form of joy?

You heard a gentle knocking at your doorway, you sat upright smiling at the door in anticipation of Gareth’s arrival, but your sweet mood turned sour very quickly when the person emerged from behind the door.

With a broken leg and doctor’s proscribed bedrest there is no way you can escape him, great!

“Hey” he spoke with nerves making his voice become unsteady, he swallowed thickly and placed a bouquet of red roses beside your bed.

“Hey” you replied coldly staring outside your window, maybe if you pretended that he wasn’t there he’d take the hint and go away?

Eddie looked wounded by your icy reply, it made his stomach drop further. He started to twirl his rings as his anxiety was making him shake, his rehearsed speech he practiced saying to you in his mirror went out of the window leaving a blank space in his mind.

“I’m sorry”

You felt your jaw stiffen, trying not to scream at him simply because you didn’t have the energy to do so, you were having an internal battle. The part of you that still loved him was rising to the surface, telling you that he was saying everything that you wanted to hear but you had to push this part of you down, it made more of your muscles tensed up during this emotional tug of war.

Don’t you dare even look at him right now!

He sighed, his leg bouncing up and down in an attempt to fight back the raging anxiety that flooded through his every nerve.

“I was stupid, I thought that because we went through the same shit that no one else could get, that Chrissy was a better match for me. Which is the worst mistake I made as I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was a fucking coward who hurt the only person I have ever loved, I have spent every day haunted by my regrets, I was jealous of your friendship with Gareth that I yelled at you as I saw someone who was doing all the shit I never did, someone who is caring and loyal and not a lying cheating douche like me. When I found out that you were involved in that car accident my whole world stop because I finally realised that you were my whole world, I know that sounds cheesy as shit but I knew that I couldn’t live without you. I fucked up and I still love you Y/N-“

“Eddie you hurt me, like really fucking hurt me. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat I felt so inadequate compared to her. I mean look at her for Christ sake! Head cheerleader, the golden girl of Hawkins how could I ever compare to that!” Your voice started to break as you choked back your tears that were threatening to spill, “you cheated on me, you through away 6 months without so much as an excuse”

You looked over at Eddie his eyes glistening as he sobbed silently, his cheeks damp with fresh tears.

“I’m really sorry Y/N, I don’t deserve you. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I’ll spend the rest of my days regretting ever letting you go”

“Eddie” you sighed trying your hardest not to cry as he didn’t deserve you wasting another tear on him, you spent weeks morning your relationship and hurting yourself in the process, while he got to live without so much as a single mark. “I do still love you, but I can’t go back to you. I spent weeks crying my heart out while you was with Chrissy, you don’t get to come here now and tell me how much your hurting. I deserve someone who is going to treat me right, who is going to make me a priority and is not going to cheat on me the moment things become hard. I can’t let you in and allow you to hurt me that badly again. There’s a part of me that wishes that this could all be different and we could just drive out to lovers lake like we used to do, but I just can’t do that to myself again. I’m sorry Eddie, but you have to let me go. We could possibly be friends some point in the future but right now I don’t think that we can, well at least not at the moment.

Eddie wiped away his tears, he weakly smiled at you, he was trying his hardest not to beg you till he was red in the face for you to take him back. Because he knows that you deserve someone better than him as much as it pains him to admit

“Look after yourself okay?”

“You too Eddie”

When he closed your door you finally allowed those tears to fall.

—————————————————————————-

“What did you say?”

“I told him that I still loved him, which unfortunately is still true, but I couldn’t go back to him not after how badly he hurt me”

“Are you going to be-“

“I swear to god Gareth Emerson if you ask me if I’m going to be okay I’ll literally punch you so hard in the jaw that you won’t be able to ask me that again” you threatened jokingly throwing a pillow at his face

“Ow! Jesus Christ, I can’t even be a supportive friend these days” he rolled his eyes throwing the pillow back in your direction.

“You know that you don’t have to visit everyday right?”

“Are you sick of me already” he jokingly asked with his hand clutched to his chest dramatically, which caused you to snort at his theatrical response

“I mean don’t you have better things to do than to look after me?”

“You know that I don’t” he quipped making you roll your eyes at the way he can turn a sweet moment into a joke in a matter of seconds.

“I love you Gare”

“Love you too Y/N”

——————————————————————————

You unwrapped the candy bar Gareth had brought you, as before he called, he stopped to buy your favourite snacks. While you were listening to the mix tape he made you after you complained that Queen was giving you a migraine from hearing it on repeat non stop.

You stared at the bear he brought you, laughing silently at the memory from the hospital,

He couldn’t hide his distaste for you naming the bear con short for concussion, which at the time you found hilarious but that was when you were high on the 7 different drugs the hospital gave you, so that was the pitiful excuse for the awful joke made.

The guitar riff of ‘I was made for lovin’ you’ started to kick in, echoing across your walls the voice of Gene Simmons singing ‘I can’t get enough of you darling, can you get enough of me?’ it made you realise something-

Oh fuck! You were in love with Gareth!

No, surely not! Right?

He was your best friend, he was the one right by your side no matter what, he stayed over night the night Eddie broke up with you to make sure were okay, he was the one you could always confine in, he would make you smile till your cheeks ached, and he came over every day to check up on you- shit!

You didn’t know whether to scream, laugh, cry or all of the above. What an overused romantic trope , falling in love with your best friend. You couldn’t be anymore predictable if you tried.

You didn’t know what to do with this emotional revelation, push it down in hopes that the feeling melts away in the pit of your stomach acid? Hoping that you don’t regurgitate the awkward feelings to Gareth then he tells you that he doesn’t feel the same way, then you’ll enter this bottomless pit of depression unable to climb your way out of it, till you have to move state.

The anxiety was muddling your thoughts till they became a string of nonsense, convincing you that the world was going to end for feeling this way. Maybe the best way is to avoid these feelings and hope that they fade away, like this was a phase you were feeling because you were lonely and longing for the comfort a relationship brought you.

That was the only logical thing to do, right?

—————————————————————————-

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, nothing… why do you ask?” You laughed nervously, internally cringing that you couldn’t lie for shit especially in front of Gareth. If you could keep Gareth distracted for long enough surely he’ll forget why you’re acting so strange. Was the room suddenly increasing in temperature? and was the walls always so closed in?

Gareth looked at you with a furrowed brow, looking at you side eyed. He was far from convinced at your poorly executed way of hiding the nerves that tied your stomach into knots and your brain racing at top speed.

“Yeah, ‘cause that was believable. You haven’t spoken to me since I arrived and you keep on chewing at your lip that it’s now bleeding and you keep on tapping your hand to your thigh. So don’t bullshit me Y/N what’s wrong?”

“It’s just that I have a lot on my mind” you spoke in such a fast pace that you doubt that he had even registered a single word that you just said. For when you were nervous, the nerves force your words out as soon as they popped into your brain, needing to fill the silence and not caring about how coherent your sentences sounded

“Did you say yes to Eddie?”

This was only the logical explanation Gareth could conjure up, for you always told him everything. He saw you at your worse, he even had to hold your hair back as you vomited from smoking weed for the first time when you believed that your limit was higher than it truly was.

“God no!”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing-“

“Just tell me-“

“I’m in love with you damn it!”

The silence that followed was deafening, it felt like the air was sucked out of your lungs making it hard to breathe. You felt sick, praying to whatever was above to strike you down so you don’t have to exist in this reality anymore. Burying your face in your hands feeling your cheeks burn as you were drowning in your own embarrassment, you’ve dug a hole so big you can’t escape from.

Do you ever think before opening your mouth!

“Y/N?”

“Gareth don’t!” You snapped not wanting him to talk further as you knew what was about to happen next, and you think you’d rather die than to hear Gareth list off the reasons why he didn’t like you back. “Just leave, I shouldn’t of said anything”

“I love you too”

You lifted your head out of your hands, blinking rapidly did you hear him properly?

“What?”

“Why else did you think I put ‘I was made for lovin you’ on your mix tape?”

“God you’re such a sap” you laughed out loud, letting relief wash over you. Your heart started to race as you couldn’t stop blushing like an idiot.

“Yeah but you love it clearly” he smirked, he leant into his impulse, the thing that he has been craving to do for weeks.

He pressed his lips upon yours, it was a sweet gentle kiss. It felt perfect, all the longing and pining over people who treated you like shit melted away into the background for now you know what their kisses was supposed to feel like. This felt right like your life was leading up to this moment.

You use to roll your eyes at poets and romantic films as they made you nauseous, selling love to be this grand beautiful thing something that would change your world for the better. But it’s hard to believe that when love had left you with so many knives in your back, you started to wonder that love was an illusion something made up, so they can sell valentines cards. But now you know what people meant when they spoke about love, for once in your life you finally found someone who truly loves you and you truly love them back.

A/N: I hope that you liked it, I was going to be mean and put it in three parts but I couldn’t do that to you. Some people may not like that they ended up with Gareth but it made so much sense, I’ve been on a Gareth obsession lately and Gwydion has a hold on me lately, could be because I’m Welsh and he has the most Welsh name ever. I’ve got more fics on the way, this was my first and definitely not my last gender neutral fanfic :)

Tag list:

@sebastiansstanswhore @protecteddiemunson4vr @simp4rengoku @hllfrclb

#stranger things angst #stranger things eddie #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson #gareth emerson x y/n #gareth the great #gareth emerson x reader

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everybodyisasebfan · 2 years

Video

Sebastian Vettel on retirement, Mick Schumacher’s future in f1 and being sore after Champions for Charity. x

Translation below the cut

Peter: Today was the first stop on your farewell tour.

Seb: I hate that word but okay.

Peter: That's kind of what it is though.

Seb: I don't think so. I’ll finish the season and then I'll continue, not with more races but something else will happen. That's why I don't see it as a farewell tour, but yes I will be - will be gone.

Peter: Have you had time to think about what happens next during the summer break?

Seb: Yes, I mean, it wasn't a spontaneous decision. I didn't say oh time to do something else now. I do have a few things planned, but I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Timo still drives, so at some point he’ll face the same challenge, at some point we all do, we don't know anything else, have never done anything else in our lives. We have a set rhythm during a season, it starts in the winter with testing, then the season goes on until - I don't know - October, November, December depending on which series, and then the next year again. So I’m looking forward to the races to come and then doing nothing at first, taking some time. But I'm too young, and not the kind of person either, to sit around and do nothing at all so…

Timo: We’ll watch the first race together and have a beer.

Peter: Well, I have to say you're in a good position (to do what he wants after he retires). By the way, Timo sent his application to McLaren, Andreas Seidl asked him to. If that works out we have an open position, you’re very welcome -

Seb: I don't know, I think I still have - I think it's a very difficult role, Timo does a good job, others not so much.

Peter: You don't mean Ralf (Schumacher)?

Seb: No! No, no I mean, (Peter: They both do a good job.) generally I think - Timo and I we’re both from the same area and where we’re from you say dumm gebabbelt is glei (means something like anyone can talk nonsense - thanks to @grussell63 for the help!) So I think for some it's hard, but I understand, you're not in the car so it's easy to judge from the outside, and of course you have to say something when you stand here (in front of the cameras).

Timo: When the red light is on, you have to say something.

Seb: Yes, exactly.

Peter: Now that we've got you're here with us we’d like to know your opinion on other things. Mick Schumacher is very important to us, we support him, he does a good job. What do you think about his future?

Seb: I wish him a bit more drive for the next races. Unfortunately, these days you're judged only on your last results. I believe Mick is someone that continuously keeps learning and even at a point where others stop learning he doesn't, that's his strength. He also has the pace. He may not have had the start that he wished for but he managed to gain some momentum. We have to be honest, the car is no longer as good now as it was at the beginning of the season, it wont put you in P5 or P6 at this point, so it's hard to draw attention, but he does his thing in the background. I hope he stays and gets a good car so he can prove himself. Maybe he can send his application to McLaren as well and Timo can get in line behind him.

Timo: I’ll withdraw mine!

Peter: Timo will withdraw his, for Mick definitely. Sebastian, lastly, there was a football match on Wednesday, Champions for Charity, we talked to Mick on Thursday and he said he felt sore, how did you feel coming into this weekend?

Seb: My legs were a bit sore but thank god we don't have to do sprints in the car. But yes, we had fun, it was different to what we usually train for, which is more of a steady run, not sprinting. I tried to use that as an advantage and ended up running a lot but I had fun.

Peter: Thanks for the interview and congratulations on P8!

#translation is here!#took me a while but there it is #if anyone sees any mistakes come yell at me and i'll fix it #this is not the entire video btw #that was just too long to translate #sebastian vettel #belgian gp 2022

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boldlyvoid · 1 year

Text

No Longer Alone Together: Part 8

Part 8 | Masterlist

December 24th:

Once the kids are all asleep, they each gather all their presents for the other person and meet downstairs in front of the tree. She has just one box full of things that she wrapped and he has all her gifts individually wrapped inside a Christmas bag.

The only year they missed this tradition was when they had Atlas, they had to wait till boxing day to open gifts with their tiny little baby in the bassinet beside them. This year they’re alone again, Atlas went down to bed last, so very excited for tomorrow because he can’t wait to give his dad his present. Not because he wants to open everything Santa brought him… he just wants to give people things. He’s the sweetest boy in the world, maybe even the whole universe?

“Okay, you first,” Spencer announces as he hands her the first little box. “I got this one in Chicago…”

“Are they all from your trip?”

He nods, “I got some before I left but there were so many new stores I’ve never seen before and even when I was travelling all over the county for work, I never had the time to just shop… so I got you anything and everything that reminded me of you.”

“You’re too sweet on me, Dr. Reid,” she teases, slowly peeling off the wrapping paper to find a jewelry box. She hasn’t worn a ring at all during their entire “marriage” which makes her wonder if thats what this is… “Spence?”

“Just open it,” he doesn’t want to do any explaining until it’s open.

Much to her surprise, it’s a bracelet that she finds inside the velvet box. “Oh my god?” She picks it up delicately and stares at all the little charms.

“There’s the earth for Atlas, the moon for Luna and Jupiter for Noelle because she just gives me that energy,” Spencer explains, “the sun is for you and here,” he hands her another tinier box. “This one has the other planets in it so you can pick one for me and one for our new baby…”

She wraps him up in a hug, arms around his neck as she holds him tighter than ever, “I love it, I’m going to wear it to Florida in March and everything.”

“That’s what I hoped,” he rubs her back gently before she pulls back. “I have a bunch more for you, I kinda went a little crazy…”

“that’s okay, so did I but they’re nothing major,” she pushes his box towards him. “They’re not individually wrapped either, I didn’t have the time.”

“I don’t mind,” he says as he rips the paper off the box and opens it slowly. The first thing he see’s is an empty notebook with blank paper, it’s not even lined. “What’s this for?”

“You’ve been doodling on the inside of your story notes so I thought you’d want your own sketchbook,” she explains with a sweet smile. She loves Spencer’s little doodles and the freaky people he draws. It’s very Tim Burton…

“And there’s some new pencils and art stuff,” she can’t help but smile back at him. “I was getting the art stuff for Luna and thought you’d like to draw with her over the break…”

“You know I will,” Spencer assures her. “This is perfect, thank you… here,” he pulls out a big, flat square that looks a lot like a wrapped-up calendar for the year.

She starts unwrapping it to see it’s not a calendar… it’s a vinyl record. “We don’t have a vinyl player?” She’s confused but happy, she really wanted this copy of her favourite artist's new album, it’ll be nice to just look at it even if they can’t play it.

“I’m still waiting on it to arrive,” he smirks. “The big winter storm pushed back the delivery.”

“No way,” she can’t believe it. So abundantly happy, they were finally going to get to play her mom's old Christmas albums on vinyl for the kids and enjoy that old crackling sound alongside the fire every Christmas from here on out.

“I love you,” she gets right into his lap and holds him tight, resting her chin on his shoulder with a small smile, trying so hard not to cry already.

“I love you,” he whispers before kissing her cheek. “That’s the one you wanted right? The blood moon one?”

She nods, “yeah, I love it.”

“It’s signed inside…”

She pulls away with wide eyes, “what? You found one of them?”

He nods, “I actually got it through Jimmy Fallon… he called it in for me, it arrived at my hotel the day before I flew home. Open it up.”

She hurries to grab the record and open it up, finding a photo card inside the sleeve where the lyric booklet is. She takes it out carefully as to not cover it in fingerprints and almost sobs. “No fucking way, Spence?”

On the front, it’s just her signature over a photo of herself, but on the back, thats where the sweetest message is.

Y/N,

Your Lover is one of a kind for having someone reach out and find this for you… I looked him up and loved his books, tell him I think we’d make a wicked No Body No Crime thriller together, don’t you think? Call it what you want, but from everything I’ve heard about you, from your Christmas Tree Farm adventures to falling in love while your parents were in Paris, I can tell that you’re soulmates. Have a wonderful Christmas, hug the kids for me, and enjoy 5 tickets to bring them to the Eras tour in Philly on May 13th ♡ see you soon!

Taylor

She’s sobbing as she reads it, it’s unbelievable. She knew Spencer met some amazing people on his book tour but she never expected Taylor Swift of all people to be one of them. She holds it close to her heart, having listened to Fearless and Speak Now so much during her divorce and breakup, then Red all year before she met Spencer… they got 1989 the year they had Atlas and Reputation when Noelle was about to turn 2. Lover not even a month before Luna was born and now Midnights has a sound for every memory from every era of her life inside of it too.

“I love it, Spence,” she assures that the tears she’s shedding are happy just as Spencer reaches out to wipe them off her cheeks. She holds the photo to her chest in a hug, “this is so thoughtful.”

“I’m not done yet,” he reminds her. “I have like 9 other presents to give you…”

“Come here,” she stands up with his hand in hers, taking her phone out of her pocket to puts on Lover just for good measure. “Having you home with me is all I wanted for Christmas.”

At a volume the kids won’t hear, but it’s perfect for them, they slow dance in the living room under the Christmas tree lights. She can’t always go where he goes, but they’ll always be this close.

“You’re my, my, my, my… lover,” Spencer sings along in her ear, memorizing every word she listens to in the house when he’s working and she’s cleaning and the kids are off at school or Uncle Wills.

This is one of the songs that will always make him think of her when he hears it.

She loves him more than she would ever be able to explain, no gift is good enough to show him… this is as good as it’ll get. Holding him close to her heart, dancing along to one of the most beautiful love songs there are, promising forever to him without ever needing to wear a ring to prove that she’s his. No marriage will hold their love in, no court document can make what they have any more real…

Their home is their chapel, and his heart is her god. they’re married in every way that counts to them.

He kisses her cheek and jaw and then down her neck, “I love you, so much.”

“I love you,” she cups his face in her hands and pulls back to look at him. “And as much as I’d like to take this where ever you’re going, we still have to set up their presents and stockings.”

“And then we can screw in the empty present room?” He teases, but it’s less of a joke and more of a question, he really wants to. “Please?”

She nods with a cheeky smile, “yeah… I’d really like that.”

December 25th: Christmas Day

They don’t get much sleep, they finally get into bed around 1 but then they can’t stop talking about how fun the morning is going to be. They finally fall asleep around 3, only to be woken up at 5:30 because the kids want to go downstairs.

“No…” Spencer groans, spooning Y/N, he buries his face in her neck and holds her tightly, “we’re sleeping.”

“Come on,” Luna pesters him, poking his back while her siblings are on mom's side of the bed, looking at her while she keeps her eyes closed.

“It’s too early, guys,” she agrees with Spencer. “Get in,” she lifts the covers, letting Noelle and Atlas cuddle into her while Luna got in on Spencer's side. “We’re going to sleep a little longer okay, the presents aren’t going anywhere.”

“But it’s exciting,” Luna complains, “I can’t sleep!”

Spencer rolls away from Y/N and onto his back so he can pull luna into a cuddle, “you’re going to have to try, we were up all night waiting for Santa… how else do you think he gets in when we don’t have a real fireplace?”

“You met him?” Noelle can’t believe it.

“Oh yeah, so many times,” Spencer exaggerates.

“Not like the fake mall Santa right?” Atlas doesn’t believe him. “The real one?”

“The real one,” Spencer repeats. “I went up to the north pole with the team once and everything… Santa had a break-in at his workshop and we caught the thief for him.”

“Wow,” they all believe it because he’s a good storyteller and an even better liar. “What’s it like?”

“Just like the Tim Allen Santa movie,” he teases, “it’s magical… and Mrs. Clause is lovely, she’s just like your mom. She makes the best Christmas cookies.”

“We are just like them,” Y/N can’t help but sleepily smile as she listens along. “We also got married on Christmas Eve…”

“You did?” Atlas asks, “but you don’t wear a ring?”

“You remember at the end of Santa Clause is coming to town, the claymation one? They got married just in the forest, alone? Me and your mom said some vows all alone and that’s why she calls me her husband to everyone now, even though legally, we’re not married,” Spencer explains. “We loved each other so much we couldn’t wait and then never went and made it official.”

“We should have a wedding,” Luna suggests. “In the backyard… or uncle Daves!”

“Maybe,” Y/N doesn’t say no.

Spencer turns to her, amazed and wide awake now, “really?”

She sleepily nods, two kids cuddled into her and one pushing against her bladder inside of her now, so much time has passed, she isn’t the same person who said no all those years ago. “Sure, why not?”

“Okay then,” he settles back into his pillow with a smile.

Luna is kneeling by his side, her knees digging into his hips while she leans over him with all her weight on his chest. “Are you awake now? Can we go downstairs now?”

“No,” Y/N answers again. “We need to make a rule, it’s not Christmas till the sun comes up.”

“The sun comes up around 7:45 in December,” Atlas remembers from one of his books. “That’s in 2 hours and 15 minutes.”

“Exactly, so why don’t you take your sisters to your room and read them some more facts while we sleep?” Y/N explains, “please? The baby needs me to sleep a bit more or I’ll be sick and I don’t want to throw up on Christmas morning…”

They love their sister already, so of course, they listen.

“Okay,” they all say as they hop down off their bed and head out.

“Thank god,” she rolls over and into Spencer, closing her eyes again. “I’m exhausted.”

“You want to marry me?” He can’t get off the topic. Genuinely surprised that she’d say yes now of all times.

She lets out a deep sigh, “yes, Spence, I would like to marry you, just, let me have a few hours of sleep first I don’t want bags under my eyes in my wedding pictures.”

“Okay,” he chuckles lightly, soothing his hand down her back and kissing the top of her head. “Go back to sleep my, love.”

She falls back asleep quickly, taking that extra 2 hours and running with it. Spencer has to shake her back awake at 8am when the kids are ready to go downstairs and the sun is coming through the blinds. The 3 of them stand in the doorway with matching smiles and Christmas pyjamas, waiting for both their parents to be ready to open presents.

She gets dressed and grabs a snack from her snack drawer, having to eat as soon as she gets up or else the baby got mad at her. She munches on some crackers while Spencer uses the bathroom and then they’re all ready.

“Remember, we’re taking turns,” Y/N calls as they run out in front of her and down the stairs.

The shout and cheer at the sheer amount of presents surrounding the tree in the living room, they spread out almost into the main hall. Mom gets them all to sit on the couches while dad turns on the electric fireplace and the tree lights to make the room really feel like Christmas.

She walks around the tree and looks at all the presents as if she wasn’t the one to set them up. “Wow, Santa really likes you guys…”

“Because he knows daddy,” Luna cheers, taking Spencer’s story this morning to heart.

“Should we start with Santa presents or family presents?” Spencer asks, standing beside Y/N and wrapping an arm around her.

“Can I give daddy mine first?” Atlas asks, putting his hand up while he sits nicely, almost like school has trained him too well to be patient and polite.

“Sure, why not?” Y/N doesn't mind, “you remember the ones we wrapped for him before he came home, right? Daddy go sit down,” she moves Spencer over to the couch while the kids all scatter to sort through the presents and find the ones for their dad buried at the back of the tree.

They come back to him with an assortment of wrapped goodies, making his heart fill with glee. “Oh wow, really? All this for me?”

“Mine first,” Atlas hands him the bag from the Christmas market, it’s been under the tree for what feels like forever to him, and he’s so excited to see his dad open it.

“Okay,” Spencer takes it from him and carefully removes the tissue paper before he reaches in. He pulls out the cardigan with a genuinely shocked face, “Woah? Bug, this is so nice?”

“Put it on!” He starts jumping up and down, too excited to stay still. “Do you like it?”

He slips his arms into the sleeves and buttons 2 of the buttons up, “I love it!” He pulls Atlas into a hug and squeezes him tight, “I’m going to wear it all day today, do you think it’s fancy enough for the party tonight?”

He nods, “with suit pants, maybe?”

“And a green shirt, purple tie,” Luna adds, very opinionated about his outfits.

“Of course,” Spencer agrees, he would’ve picked that anyway but he validates her opinions anyway. “What next?”

“Here,” Noelle hands him one that she spent a lot of time on.

It’s easy to find a seam and open it with her newly acquired wrapping skills… he tears into it to find a bunch of socks.

“I miss matched them for you,” she explains. “See dolphins and diamonds and then flamingos and flames, it all makes sense this way…”

“I love it,” he wants to cry, it’s so thoughtful and it’s just socks. “Thank you, I’ll wear them today too.”

“Here’s mine,” Luna places it on his lap, getting closer so she could help him open it.

He lets her pull on the paper and start opening it for him, they tear it off together just for him to see it’s a box. The tape is easy to peel back and inside the box is all his favourite candy. “for your writing jaw in your office, it’s empty…”

Another thoughtful gift that he wouldn’t have even thought of asking for but his kids knew him really well. He gives them each a hug and a kiss as he thanks them, whispering something to them about getting mommy’s presents next. Y/N had no idea that he took them all out shopping one afternoon after school while she was still at work.

They scurry away from him and come back with a big box that takes Atlas and Noelle to carry over… more like push it over. It glides over the hardwood floor easily until it’s right in front of her. “That big one was for me?”

“Open it!” They all cheer, gathered around in case she needs help.

She takes the bow off first, ripping into it slowly. “What the heck is this?” She asks, under the wrapping paper is just a brown box.

“Remember you said you wanted to be able to make s’mores in our backyard like we do at Daves?” Spencer explains as she tilts the box back to read the words “gas-powered outdoor fireplace.”

“No way!” She can’t believe it, “this and the record player?”

“Christmas is about giving,” he reminds her. “You can’t spend all season giving us things, you have to get some good gifts too.”

The kids grab a few more gifts for her, placing them on top of the box, “we got you these…”

“Oh wow, thank you,” she’s overwhelmed to get all these presents before they even get to their Santa presents.

Atlas got her a pretty shirt, Noelle got her a scarf to go with her winter coat and Luna got her some more of her favourite makeup. They’re 3 simple gifts but they also mean the world to her.

“Okay,” she stands up before she gets too emotional thinking about it. “Each of you picks one present with your name on it and sit back down…”

They each run to the tree and grab the biggest present they can find, “this one says Luna,” Atlas announces, handing the present to his sister. He finds his own next and Noelle finds one for herself easily. The three of them sit back down together and wait for their mom to give them the go-ahead, she simply smiles and nods.

They rip into their presents quickly, all gasping when they realize what they got. Luna screams the loudest, “MY DOLLHOUSE!”

Both her siblings smile at her, happy she got what she wanted. “I got the book set I asked for,” Atlas announces, bringing to peel the plastic off so he could flip through the pages.

Noelle is almost speechless as she flips the box over a few times. “Is this… this is a skateboard?”

“It is,” Y/N can’t stop smiling, she gets down in front of the Christmas tree and hands her a few other gifts. “These go with it, Santa said…”

While she tears into the presents, Y/N finds a few more to hand to Luna and Atlas to make it even. Luna gets some dolls, Atlas gets a few more science kits and Noelle gets knee pads, elbow pads and a helmet, all in the same green her cast used to be.

“I’m going to teach you some tricks once the snow is gone,” Spencer teases, “but we’re going to do them without breaking an arm this time.”

“You know how to skateboard?” Noelle can’t believe it.

He nods, “it’s just physics…”

“Ugh, science is everywhere,” she complains, everyone around her was too smart for their own good, she knew that.

“That is is,” Spencer ruffles her hair and kisses the top of her head. “I think it’s time we give you guys your big gift from us…”

“Are you sure?” Y/N gets excited, so ready to share these big plans with them after knowing about it alone for so long.

He nods, “it's in your stockings,” he points at the 5 socks hung over the fireplace. He helps them take them down one by one and sit on the floor once more, “okay, start emptying them…”

Luna goes right for the fidget toys, bypassing the headband with Mickey-mouse ears and the paper saying they’re going on a trip. Atlas is the first one to unfold it and actually read it.

“What does this mean?” He holds up the printed-out boarding pass, “is this another NASA thing?”

“no… thats a real flight we're going on, those are your tickets,” mom explains. “Can you see where we’re going?”

“we’re landing at… Orlando, Florida?” He reads the ticket fully and then his eyes widen. “Are we going to Disney world?”

“Are we?!” Noelle breaks a window with how loud she screams.

“Shh, yes, oh my gosh, yeah, we are,” Y/N can’t help but laugh, pulling the kids into a hug when they just want to jump around with excitement.

Spencer explains when it is, who they’re going with and most of the itinerary for the trip. They’re going to Disney world, lego land and the Kennedy space centre, making sure each kid had a special interest to indulge in. They’re over the moon, barely even thinking about the rest of their presents, it’s too exciting.

They manage to have breakfast together before opening the rest of the presents. They got little things like clothes and colouring books, accents for their rooms and necessities for school. It all happened so fast, all they are left with is a pile of each kid's gifts on the couch and a mountain of trash once every toy was opened and freed from its box.

The kids all go to the playroom, setting up their new toys and setting aside old ones they want to donate into the box that once held their mom's new fireplace. She takes a seat beside Spencer once everything is all said and done, laying her head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around her. “Another good one for the books…”

“The last one as a family of 5,” Spencer sighs, happily. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she tries not to cry again but then she decides fuck it. She cries, experiencing the moment the way her body wanted to. “This is my favourite one yet…”

“And we have so many more to go, how will we top it?” Spencer teases.

She shrugs, “they’ll find a way.”

—

Penelope spent her morning at the airport, waiting for Derek, Savannah and Hank to get off their plane. They got in around 11, they had lunch all together and then headed straight to Rossi's place for the annual All-iday party. They were the first ones there this year, waiting for every other family to start showing up too.

The Simmons show up next, all 5 kids running straight to the playroom designated to them on days like today. Rossi didn’t need all that space at his house for fancy things, so they got a whole room just to be kids in.

The LaMontagne’s are next to arrive, all dressed up like they are every year, JJ dressed to the nines and Will looking handsome as ever. And Sandy Jareau comes with her emotional support dog, Ozzy, a fluffy golden retriever that all the kids loved.

Emily and Laura debated if they wanted to go this year, with a brand new baby and all the kids being in different schools and Derek being on a plane that day, that was a lot of germs gathering in one place… so day of, they call out, not ready to venture out into the world with little May yet. Y/N offered to pack up some of the leftovers and stop by with them later, and whatever presents people bought for them too.

Rossi’s daughters show up too, it’s the first year Portia is celebrating Christmas without her mother, it’s hard, but having this extended family is good for her. Joy comes with her husband and Kai as well, now living in DC, it was a lot easier for them to join.

When Spencer and Y/N arrive with their kids, the party is already well underway. Diana and Liam weren’t too far behind, just finishing the festivities at their retirement home before heading over. The kids run off right into the playroom with the others, leaving all the parents in the kitchen where the food and booze was.

Tara comes with her girlfriend and Luke comes all by himself but migrates to Penelope’s side and stays there like he has for the last few years. He’s helplessly in love with her, everyone can see it, but Penelope hasn’t given into him yet. She’s fighting his love for some reason, and everyone in their group can't wait for her to surrender, wave the wire flag and just kiss him already.

In the kitchen, Spencer rushes Derek and wraps him up in a hug, as if he didn’t see him in Chicago last month. “Where’s my little man?” Derek asks, looking past him for Atlas.

“With your son in the playroom,” Y/N teases, taking Spencer’s place against Derek's chest for the next hug. “How are you?”

“Great now,” he kisses the top of her head before she can pull away. “I hear congratulations are in order?”

She nods, “oh yeah, you’re getting another little niece.”

She’s congratulated by everyone in the room, many of them hearing it for the first time as Laura and Will really knew how to keep a secret. Everyone has either a glass of wine or champagne, Y/N pours some ginger ale into a champagne flute and celebrates with the others, all over the moon for her and Spencer.

“So do you have any names picked out?” Sandy, JJ’s mom, asks, loving Spencer’s kids as if they were her own grandkids too.

Spencer shakes his head to say no but Y/N shrugs, “I kinda have one…”

“You haven’t told me this?” Spencer is shocked, “what is it?”

“You said her birthstone would be a Ruby and I think Ruby Reid sounds cute…”

Some of the others repeat her name with a swoon, holding their hands over their hearts. “You have to name her ruby now,” Penelope chimes in. “That’s perfect?”

Spencer purses his lips as he thinks about it, “yeah, I can see her name being Ruby, too…”

She smiles, leaning in and stealing a kiss from Spencer right in front of everyone, they were a lot more used to Spencer's PDA now than that first Christmas… it was refreshing to see their love never dwindled and it looked like it never would, either.

Those lonely years of her life feel like such a long time ago now. Being alone together felt just as far away from where they are now… okay, sure, they’re no longer alone together, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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official-kenralie-fanbase · 1 year

Note

oaky here’s the list

@xanadaus (Tobi is the one who found your koralie fic and makes some amazing fanart and host’s a good portion of the ship weeks)

@an-ungraceful-swan @lusilver001 @camelspit @soryasongsaa @axels-corner @a-withered-old-rose @magnateleto some of our other amazing fanartists (i know for a fact definitely forgetting some people and i apologize)

@aphelea @solreefs @gay-otlc @cogaytes the solreef fam and tertice people (again i’m definitely forgetting some)

@synonymroll648 Izzy is known for sokeefitz and is an amazing writer

@cherryys-stuff @callas-pancake-tree @winterfireice @the-one-and-only-aroace @nyxpixels @fucked-up-mover-shaker @stopstealingtomatoes @arson-anarchy-death @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @loki-the-trikster-god @shyguygubbs all amazing people you should follow for your own good

@bronte-deserves-better detailed world building headcannons and wrote one of my favorite fics

@fitzvackertheritzcracker my fellow crappy kotlc edit maker

@bookwyrminspiration writes long in depth analysis on any part of the book and made a keeper timeline that can be used for fics, not to mention writes some amazing fanfics

@fintan-pyren is the bringer of a good portion of the chaos here, threatens to soup people, and roleplays as fintan at times, then will write analysis’s and draw amazing fanart of fintan so you never know what you will get with him.

@crymeariveronceagain her Stinex fic single-handedly got me back into this fandom and into writing, her fics are beautiful agnsty and you need to read them, she’s known for sokeefe

a good portion of the people listed have Ao3 or have written fics and i know for a fact that i forgot people (because i can’t remember their urls or just forgot)

Wow thank you so much! I can tell what I'm going to be doing over winter break now, can't wait to get involved in this crazy fandom!

#you have been frizzled #thank you so much!#this is going to be so helpful

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purity-town · 1 year

Text

I have officially submitted all of my final projects! Just one more exam tomorrow and then I’m free for winter break! I’ll resume comic posting next Sunday now that I’ll finally be able to chill and draw again, but in the meantime, here are all of the ask replies I’ve been neglecting! Got the inbox cleared out again :)

In theory, only that specific color of tan-brown narration rectangles are from Andrew, but so far, he’s been the only one giving narration. So, in short- yes, all of the narration panels come from Andrew!

And for your second question, that will be discussed more in-depth in coming chapters!

AH!! Chewing!!!

(But I’m glad you’re enjoying my stuff! I have so much fun with these characters, and I love seeing other folks’ Terraria drawings too.)

Kinda? Terraria has the ability to resurrect people. It’s not an entirely pleasant process, and takes longer depending on one’s age and power, but she can do it -- the whole reason why the Dryads died out was because of how much Cthulhu/Moonlord had drained her power, to the point where she couldn’t resurrect any of them, let alone create more. Hence why a few decades past the end of the war, as she regained some strength, she created the first Guides and the Guardian of the Underworld!

(Using things like intent/strength very loosely here, as it’s hard to pin such terms to a god who’s so nebulous and a part of the world rather than something you can speak to, but they’re the best descriptors!)

It is rare for someone to “respawn,” since it has to be Terraria’s will that they do so. You can’t just jump off a cliff and wake up seconds later in bed, unharmed. But it can happen, and will be discussed in a later chapter, as Andrew himself has died before.

Thanks for reading!! And hahaha, a big reason why I chose mage for Chris was because of how fun it is to draw magic!

Really, though, I feel like I’ve learned and improved a lot over the past two years of working on this comic, so I’m glad that you enjoy the art!

Yep! I’ve doodled him wearing a skirt a couple times before, but it’s never come up in the main comic before this chapter.

Word gets around! The comic takes place in a pretty isolated region; it’s quite far out from the more settled areas and only has a few significant villages scattered throughout the various biomes in the area. So with such a low population, just about any news at all gets around quick, because everyone knows each other.

As far as that news spreading outside of that region goes, word might get out as rumor by traders or the like, but Andrew would probably be the main source of spreading that news, due to him being a Guide who’s trusted and reliable.

And “have there been people who have tried to fight it in the past and lost?” In a general sense, I’m sure there have been, but it won’t be a subject of focus in the comic. Most people who take on any sort of “adventuring” role either go into it for the money/magic items they find left by those who inhabited regions before them before such crafts were lost, or fall into a local hero role who handles things like Blood Moons. And even then, that’s mostly restricted to areas that are still mostly untamed and have ruins and similar, like the area around Purity Town; places like where Chris grew up have long-since been reclaimed for civilization.

The Eye is such an ancient, inherent part of the world that it’s hardly even thought of as a “thing” you can target. What Chris did is...kind of crazy, and a show of raw, unfocused power. But Andrew is specifically drawing him down this path, trying to help Chris reign in his abilities over time and grow.

He’s had that hair tie since his very first appearance! As for where it came from…Chris is the sort to very rarely buy things for himself over others, but is from an area on the sea that often saw trader ships come through, so it was probably either a small gift from someone else or a special treat for himself. And hey, a pretty-colored hair tie that can keep hair like Chris’ in check (mostly) and doesn’t break or stretch out is a fantastical thing!

The actual explanation for why they haven’t shown up yet is that I either don’t have a good design for them or don’t have the time/energy to add them -- a lot of stuff gets cut, and NPCs that I wanted to sneak into backgrounds while characters are in-town don’t make it in. The tavernkeep falls into the first category (I just don’t have a design for him), while the merchant falls into the second one.

I definitely want to add more of the other NPCs into the story! It’s just difficult to do so, sometimes.

It wasn’t a part of the original script, but I’ve had a bunch of ideas for it, and so I was thinking of sneaking in a little chapter 6.5 aether interlude! Either that or bundling it up into the start of chapter 7, depending on how chapter lengths work out. It won’t be a huge thing, but I do want to include it!

It’s hard to measure the time it takes, honestly. I find it very difficult to sit and work on Purity Town for longer stints without getting distracted; I’m often either understimulated or overstimulated and either one destroys my ability to focus and draw. With all of my schoolwork I tend to be very tired by the end of the week and want to just chill, which doesn’t help much. This isn’t a complaint, to be clear! I love working on Purity Town. It’s just difficult to do sometimes, and that makes things take a lot longer than they “should.”

I tend to have Saturdays be my “off” days, where most other days I have chores and school and homework, and so all of my drawing really takes place on Saturdays, and I do use most of the day to do it. But again, because I can’t stay focused on drawing for long and get distracted by other things easily, it’s hard to measure anything for certain.

All of his theories are founded at least to some extent in reality! Malik and Andrew have some history and have known each other long enough for Malik to pick up on those sorts of things; he’s quite perceptive.

None of them are explicitly correct, but he’s not entirely off!

Thank you for these kind messages!!! I really love getting to share all my Terraria ideas and it makes me super happy that other folks enjoy my comic too. I don’t have much more of a coherent reply, but this makes me really happy to see!

Thanks for reading!! I’m glad you’re liking it so far!

#Purity Town #pt asks

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wh-da-backup · 6 months

Text

Lyric Dump posted sept 2010

bits of paper:

she walks like hell down the hallway, naked she wonders why they stare but doesn't care, she'd rather die than be repaired -----

he likes gore and she likes sugar they make the perfect dying team

I liked his words so I learned his side I like her words now I wanna learn her side

kiss me sugar breath breathe me candy death

the new Mr. Popular and his gangrene bride ---

the twisted phoenix of her mental ashes

you ask me why I feel so down, I finally tell you now look what I've done I've made both of us frown

but things are always better in our minds ---

you need her like a hole in your head watch out man it's a package deal

see the names she'll give you both yeah it's all in your head ----

I'd spend my evenings and stare at that shiny dumb failure of a child who never says a word and thinks she's a poet. how cute. ----

play their subtle obsession

lady love is out to get me

surgery under Anastasia ---

I don't care how you see it- these are my children

and I live for them and I comfort them I would kill for them I would die for them ----

love, could you be human oh could I? we're shiny silver trash machines

we've been programmed by airwaves

we've been programmed by wires spoken by liars

we've been designed, we've been designed is this alright? ----

they're lovers made of glass and lovers made of sound

catching a butterfly is not quite the same as catching a train --- Drive Me, Crazy

5th wheel's for you break the 4th wall and your bones and everything else

drive me, crazy, i wanna crash ---

i want my life back gonna have to take it ---

I was named after you but we're not the same I just can't take it just can't take the blame

the children are always afraid ---

she can have my blood I don't mind go infect the human race with mine

I'll scratch all night ----

gaping pores in teenage skin it's true i let a lot of stuff in ok ok ok

I'm fine I'm great I grin but it's true I keep my anger held in ok ok

and I fear it's a sin the state of mind that I'm in can I forgive my disaster created in turn I hope I won't have to burn in something clearer than blame like the face I've inflamed in the mirror ok --- Stupid Hair

I want you out of my face I want you lying on the floor instead I want you out of my life get away from me get off my head

I'd like to cut you up you're gonna die die die I wanna change you up dye dye dye ---

chosen one, I chose myself ---

can I borrow your self cause I don't like mine anytime anyplace anymore anyway

overreact like I do when you yell

I hang out with burners, maybe I'm one too we all got a price to pay ---

I need some brain bleach keep on thinking those razor blade thoughts ---

the man who likes to visit winter flashing lights and bubble eyes always draws his psychic lines ----

he lives his life in contempt for heaven

I have chosen to be undecided

once you've got it all figured out it's too late

setting fire to a world where nothing burns ---- Walking

coop us up all day we sweat and we stink

waiting for summer no cold to protect us from

at least we come in pairs sorrow to those who lose that friend

walk on me all day never hear your thanks hey man just set us free

just want to walk on the earth God made feel it on our soles ----

well I've got an identity and if you want to know then pay attention to the lyrics when i play these songs for you

well I've got a personality and if you'd like to know then pay attention to the lyrics when i play these songs for you

well I've got your reality and if you think you know then pay attention to the lyrics when i play a song for you ----

I think too much try to suppress it back I'm obsessed and ashamed and my confidence lacks ----

takes one to know one you are what you eat ----

a few hurtful words and we argued in bitter doesn't take much for a fire to start well she burned down the house and everything in it I told Heaven and Hell take good care of my guitars and write helpful critiques of my art ---

we'd stargaze at the empty ceiling ----

I'm thinking I'd like to be haunted tonight no need to thank me I'm frightened in return I'm thinking I'd like to be haunted tonight setting fire to a world where nothing burns. ---

that hour of your life that you gave repeatedly

you're my favorite plastic but you're not one bit of help

I know how I'm yours that my teeth absorb stains

I'm making up my list and so I guess I'll throw you in

reclining in a clean and quiet room ---

it's not damage it's this damn age we're living in blocked the flow of everything ---

and even if I had a gun I doubt I would shoot anyone I like /I'm fine

a fellow asked if i'm on drugs I don't need that to pull this off I'm fine

I've made myself disposable as a friend I've made myself unattractive so who am I to complain about it? my social capacity consists of a one-sided conversation between myself and a unanimous awkward silence (ding dong ding the witch is dead at 27) and so the universe gets its comeuppance ---- (cleverbot responses)

it's not funny your smile

so that's where his brain went

he was hard to read

I think you dislike cheese ---

facial constellations from scars I read the future in my stars I thought, I could be so pretty by pretending to be beautiful but I choose not to ---

It's been a few weeks since I've seen her as I've been away

wore a dress like an eyeris so blue like her eyes

she would blink to me in skies and I'd read them and sigh

I would read them and cry

painting stripes on my shirt

does it hurt to be from here

I do

in a car to be so far away far away

painting stripe on my shirt and I'm drowning in acidic paint I am blatantly lost to be so far away far away ---

stop touching your face

stain me with absence

turn the knives to forgiveness

peel myself from the floor ----

I'm not dirt

I get hurt

I don't bleed oil ---

another sunrise I'm already on my way nature's dying because now we start first

I'm sorry that I hit your head ---

we dug this grave to keep us alive for a little bit longer now hell seeps in through the walls along with the groundwater

wrote a letter home to you so a part of my can leave this place my love

breathing is bleeding nowhere to go but down breathing is bleeding nowhere to go but blind

together as parts of this great war machine but as souls we're alone ---

I wish this day had never been born wish i'd stabbed a knife in the womb of sunrise when I couldn't quite sleep from the dark in my eyes and now hours later the knife is meant for me

I don't wanna tell you you'll worry, you'll hurt I don't think I'm in danger and you'd think it's a joke a nauseating plea for attention you'd gag til you choke

nothing went down but a whole lot of staring i stared at the knives, the liquor, the pills, it all seemed so easy it all seemed so easy ----

songbook:

you're a wannabe wannabe and famous for that you know there's gotta be a catch catch catch hack don't look down on me just cause i'm a wreck you know there always gotta be a catch catch catch retch ---

girls in the schoolyard blabbing secrets they were told not to repeat by their parents ten years later walking around in the cold less cloth than skin they don't even have the dignity to be embarrassed

a girl died back in '93 and was buried are you really that gullible? paranoid about viruses you could be carrying are you that irresponsible? ---

mind. scent. way to pass your judgement interesting prop, hence why i'm still alive...

and you smell like chemicals you smell like chemicals you smell like chemicals ---

I never suffered teenage angst til now be careful what you wish for I never thought my heart would break be careful what you wish for I'm always eager for an eye be careful what you wish for I'm always dreaming half-deranged be careful what you wish for

sleep comes on four screeching wheels eyes are closed by dull iron lies sleep appears long-awaited ghost hello my friend where would you like to go? --- We Are

I think you lied to me before you left them lying on the floor there's now a key that locks the door built by the lies that tie the score they scar me more

and there's a way that we talk and there's a way that we breathe and there's a way that we are

you say that nobody will you say that nobody can just look outside where we are ---

there's a hole a mile wide it's in my soul it's in my pride from lies... rusted scalpels that they are

all that needles to is stitch frail threads on an open wound

you fill it all ----

drive me drive me i just want you to derive me round and round again until i am renowned state it state it just shut your mouth and stay sedated overrated don't overreact like they did

you're handling eyes now so set your pins and needles down (your sole important everything) ----

my arm laid out my gaze is wistful blood is gold i've got a bottomless wrist full what's it doing keeping me alive? we're such a waste together wish i could give it all away and that way i'd be good for something ---- Sharks

be careful when you find the one whose eyes could be your 2-inch ocean

look out look out look out seeing sharks

be the dagger of my eye ----

walk through the market avoiding the stares trying to plug up the hole in a china doll's chest

they threw us all in a prison cell we gathered our wax limbs and sat up the best we could

I on my side and you lying next to me our faces met close enough

we fell in love in a prison cell I'll lie here beside you and hold you until we die and our wax limbs will fall to the floor

holding you close only time will tell the others talk nervously don't say a word

our wax heads rolled off and I knew that the dream it had gone

0 notes

illbesafesomeday · 7 months

Text

Beginning of an End

I used to write on Instagram for everything that I feel, especially whenever I feel low, unloved, ignored, or neglected. I have been diagnosed with Severe Major Depressive Disorder, and whether you believe it or not, I am scared of a lot of things, except dying.

I was told to take one day at a time, and that's what exactly do. Everyday.

There are days that can be managed, and there are days harder than the others. And that is not okay. And not all the best sounding quotes over the Internet could sweeten the feeling whenever that happens.

My husband has taken good care of me since we got married - until his depression recurred. Since then, I feel like everyday I have to be very careful, or else I'll end up with the cold, stoic treatment. It saddens me that I thought when I finally find my person, I won't be alone anymore. But that's what happening since we came back from the states. And there are really days I just want to jump out of this apparently cursed apartment I have been so stressed of hearing about and worked hard to find for him, only ending up that my stresses and efforts are to be not appreciated because of 'bad timing'.

I don't think I could ever be appreciated again. I feel that I'll never get the man that I married back again. I feel bad for my dogs who have to cower everytime we start to talk, and he is the only one managing the conversation. There was a time that he broke the fan so both of my dogs swarmed to me, then he hit the window, thank god it didn't break as we were just beside it. I love this man so much, that I don't want him to further spiral down the road he had been before. He has so much on his plate right now: work, death of a family member, sick family members needing help. The most that I can do is to do sidelines, but I have to be careful of which I could only take, because I cannot spend too much time away from him. But when I am there, he doesn't 'spend' time with me. He watches, he plays, he is on his phone, but when I am on my phone, it's because I became 'a slave of the social media.' No. I am just trying to find through the distance, in another make believe environment, that maybe there are people who find me valuable enough to be noticed and talked to.

I am an artist. I used to paint, I used to draw, I used to sing. I came from a family of musicians, performers, and artists. I want to do those things continuously, and right now, we live 2 hrs away from Seoul, where the happenings for these kind of things happen. I tried modeling, something I did before back home for quite some time, and to my surprise, I got callbacks and shoots from people. It was fun. Finally, something that treats me equal, regardless of gender, race, or age. I hate it in this town that because it is a military town, mysogynist jokes are just jokes and no one can be offended by it. Same goes with racist jokes. I am a hispanic-asian woman from a third world country in Southeast Asia. They say I am just too sensitive. I think they're just undereducated or ignorant.

The only worries that I have right now are my doggies. I wanted to bring them here because I never though it will turn out into this. I wanted them to experience snow. I took out a loan just to get them here, that's how much they are worth it. Now I am worried what will happen to them if I die. And I need to make advanced savings so I can make arrangements while we are still just here in Korea. I know my husband will give them up, because he told me before he would likely do, everything that will remind him of me.

I just wish I have my old man back. The man that I married. The man who prepared my hot bath because I am hurting everywhere on my first winter. The one who went out of his way to get me here. The one who keeps on saying "I love you more." The one that tells me he'll do everything for me.

He's not coming back.

He is gone. I got him into this mess. He is not coming back. And he has a better chance of being his old happy self again is when I'm gone.

That's the truth of it. He even told me about it one night and I couldn't contain my tears and I cried. To hear that I am the reason why he is now having these issues breaks my heart, because my goal of marrying the person I love is to serve him, love him, be proud of him, hype him, encourage him, care for him, and all the other positive things that is connected with the concept of loving someone.

Unfortunately, people fucked up. And usually, when I got fucked up, nobody is capable of taking responsibility for it. They wash their hands clean just like what Pontius Pilate did, then look down on me, and tell me I brought it all to myself. That standing up for myself is narcissism. Efforts that I make are either unseen or not as important as what is still to be done. I will never do enough. I will never be enough. There is always something to be done. I always need to upgrade. Especially after what I have experienced in the past months, doing so much hardwork with minimal to zero efforts, living and trying is no longer worth and rewarding as it used to be... and it is my fault...

I am tired of being what seems to be the curse or pestilence into someone's life... I just wanted to be loved, respected, and cared for, something I am so much capable of giving... I needed to move to this space because my husband goes through my phone whenever I am sleeping in the evening and reads through my messages, my private Instagram account that nobody follows, and even through my archives. He is paranoid of my online activities. If only he knows he doesn't need to be as paranoid if only he can be the loving and caring husband he promised on our wedding day to be, not the person who completely let up on me when his family was here...

He let me up... He let the scale totally tip, with almost no effort to recognize me as a wife, thank me as someone who helps, and in the evening doesn't tell me a single word of recognition or affirmation, but only blame me on what I did to make the scale tip...

Why did you let me up..? </3 Why..? I may not be perfect, but... why did you have to let me up..? And unfortunately, with how things are going, there is no way you are gonna acknowledge how much that hurt... how much it made me lonely... how much I almost killed myself...

I don't think it matters to you anymore anyway... I understand you got your plate full, and anything related to me is a nuisance addition to what you shouldn't be thinking of anymore...

I am sorry... I love you, more than anything else in this world... But clearly your love for me is no longer the same, and I understand, because my depression has now taken you too... I am really sorry...

On this page, I will continue to express my thoughts and plans, until the day I die... Until the day I get myself killed... Because I failed... I failed big time... I failed too many major characters in this story, and none of them care about me anymore...

And it's okay... I'd rather have it that way, so I know my death won't be a selfish act, because how can it be selfish if it doesn't seem to affect anyone anyway..? When nobody seems to care right now for me anyway... Jeez, I bet more people care for my dogs than me, hehe, and that's better... I want my dogs to be loved and have a good life... I deserve to disappear and die alone... And it's gonna happen... It's got to happen... May the heavens help me...

#depression #suicide #loneliness #sadness #anxiety #mental health

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sk3tch404 · 1 year

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Yooooo Merry Christmasss!/Happy Holidaysss! :D

Gonna assume you're on winter break too so I hope you can get a good rest in and do the things you enjoy, but didn't have time for cause of school. ☺️👍

-Ren'py anon

MERRY XMAS RENPY ANON!!! Hope you got the things you wanted and ate good food 😚

I am on break (Thank god) and yessss i will be writing and drawing more often 😖 Drawing not as much as working on my writing drafts, but it's all progress!

I will try to deck out more works 😨 can't just be answering asks all day. But I STILL LOVE YALL SO MUCH!!! My brain power just ??? Where she at?

Sleep as been better but depress-mess has been going strong 3 years! 😍 Better than nothing though. Hate getting up at 5 AM.

#renpy anon #my bones?#cracking #my ears?#blasting with music 24/7 #my hands?#always making typos :|

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forbidding-souda · 2 years

Note

Hey again may I request s/o receiving gifts from their partner on white day ?, with the trigger happy havoc boys pls. ( xD I'm sorry I think you'll have to research again xP lol.) - 🐺

Receiving gifts from TTH boys on white day

i am overly pining for that man i sleep on at peets like every day. i'm gonna miss him. it's winter break now so i willnt be seeing him for awhile and i'm like gahh

oh my god what if i got him something for valentines day.. wdjsnmnndhhhhdhhhshh

i wish white day existed in america yatzee

i learned how to do a french inhale as i was writing this also this took me 6 hours yatzee LMFAO I'M STUCK A SLOW WORKER

-Mod Souda

Mondo Oowada

❤ Giving him gifts is easy. Anything from temporary tattoos to a bottle of fizz gets him all lovey-dovey and excited. He will be surprised and thankful for anything you give him.

❤ His gifts are completely stolen, curtsey of the fact that even if he did try to buy something he would most likely be denied service.

❤ He loves wrapping them and putting them in boxes. Special occasions: winter holidays, your birthday, white day, he looks forward to them so he can spoil you with reason.

❤ Even if you gave him one gift, he's giving you many. He'll give you your favorite candy along with pocky (just an excuse to kiss you).

❤ Literally half of your relationship is the art of gift giving. Outside of physical touch, it's probably his to-go love language.

❤ Spends the whole day with you. His friends can wait; you're his first priority always.

Leon Kuwata

❤ You had been so hesitant to even give him a gift - he must receive dozens. You knew all the girls who wish they were in your place try to swoon him by buying him shit. It doesn't matter all that much to you. He is openly annoyed by them, anyway.

❤ You gave him his favorite chocolates (something those girls definitely wouldn't have known about) and a music book: guitar sheet music from his favorite old rock bands. His smile when he received them was all you could have ever asked for. He put his arm around your shoulder and rested his head against yours. It was affection - affection that usually was not as tender.

❤ Trying to be humble, you told him that you didn't mind him not giving anything back for you. You had made jokes about how he should spend all his money giving gifts to the dozens of girls instead - but he'd just wave you off and repeat that they are not as important as you.

"You bring it up too much for it not to be bothering you," he had pointed out, drying his hair with a towel after a shower. The steam had fogged the window and you were fighting the urge to draw shapes into it.

"I just think it's funny."

He gives you a side glance.

❤ He woke you up with a smoothie on that March 14th, pushing the cold glass against your cheek to wake you up. You had glared at him when you finally realized he was bothering you on purpose - but he had said this is the first part of your gift. So you allowed yourself to get up.

❤ The second part of the gift came much later. Throughout the day you were wondering if it would be something shocking, something worth the wait. What could he have possibly done? You wondered if he wrote you a song or bought you tickets to a show. But those things are given; not worth the anticipation.

❤ Finally, he told you to close your eyes and stick out your hand. You face your palm up and once you shut your eyes he flipped your hand over. It makes your lips twitch into a smile. When you feel something slip onto your ring finger you open your eyes immediately.

"This isn't a proposal!" He clarifies instantly. "It's a couple's ring - look, do you like it?"

On his finger, next to the other rings, is a silver band that matches yours.

"The inside has our names in it."

You eye it, smiling and nodding your head. "Thank you so much. I love it." And this is way more... worthy than what you got him.

Byakuya Togami

❤ He could get almost anything in the world. You know this - and it makes gift giving hard. Still, he enjoys whatever you give him, not genuinely but enough to make you feel content with his reaction. He doesn't degrade you for giving him shit and that's all that matters.

❤ You were surprised he even brought up White Day. He asked you if you would prefer he celebrate it, and you said sure. That was your word: sure. He grunted at your informality.

❤ The question for what to get you was as daunting as you wondering what to get him. You also could get anything in the world, though he is hesitant to treat you with such a lavish way of living. He tries to remember what you talk about - fandom wise. Are there rare collectibles?

❤ He spent a lot of effort into researching for this gift. Like ten minutes in he sat back down in his chair and put a hand on his forehead. I'm really in love.

❤ He had one of the servants wrap the gift. He's not that hands-on.

❤ But he made sure to wait until half the day passed before he handed it to you. The box was big, which surprised you, and you tried to hide your smile as you opened it. And you were surprised. So he does listen to you when you talk. The first thing you noticed was the cd, an album that recently came out, with writing on it. He had gotten the artist to sign it for you. And it even had your name. Underneath was a simple stuffed bear holding a heart. Engraved in it were the words be mine.

"I'll be yours."

He rolls his eyes, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your forehead. "I know."

Ishimaru Kiyotaka

❤ When you gave him his gift, his cheeks were burning pink and he was stuttering like crazy. One thing ran through his mind: what am I going to get them in return? It stressed him out beyond belief.

❤ You would often find him in great thought, staring off into the distance, mumbling to himself and squinting. You eventually stopped trying to break him out of it.

❤ A part of you knew this would happen if you got him a gift. No matter how simple it was, he needed to repay you somehow.

"Rise and shine!" He pushed you over in the bed, rolling you over, taking the blanket away from you. You whine his name and rub your eyes. He is already fully dressed; his hair is brushed and his eyes are alive.

"Why?"

"I made us a reservation!"

"For breakfast?"

He nods, leaning over your body, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. "The most important meal of the day."

❤ In the beginning of your relationship, you tried to get closer to him by asking him to tutor you. You always picked this restaurant - sitting across from him in this lighting was a blessing. He is beautiful.

❤ This was your gift - along with a book, one that the two of you can fill out together, a questionare of sorts. And the two of you linger over it like it's a textbook, reminding you of old times, where even back then he was madly in love with you, reciprocated.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

❤ Wait - you're actually giving him something? But the two of you are already together. You still have to get each other stuff?

"You don't have to if you don't want to, love." You had laughed, noticing his stress immediately.

"No - no no." He opened his mouth to say more, but when nothing came, you spoke over him.

"Don't worry about it."

Afterward, he had simply grumbled to himself and scratched his chin.

❤ Whenever he thinks about gifts, he can only think about things that he wants. You - what are your interests? The two of you watch movies together, that's a start, have there been movies you liked more than others?

❤ He found himself fishing through your closet. A shirt, he decided. He'll give you a shirt.

❤ A shirt for that movie you made him watch a couple of times. Every time, you had quoted some of the lines, smiling as you did so.

❤ And when he gives you the shirt - it's in a tiny little bag, one with your name written on it with sharpie. He looks so nervous that you just want to melt into his arms. You make sure to show your appreciation, as you know this has been particularly stressful for him.

Makoto Naegi

❤ He went to ask Kirigiri what to do. You gave him a gift for Valentine's Day and then said he doesn't need to return the favor - is this a trick? She tells him to do it anyway, as she suspects you're just trying to be generous.

❤ Which is correct.

❤ He considers himself someone who's good at giving gifts. He'll try to give someone something that's less obvious - something that they wouldn't know they wanted otherwise.

❤ But with you, it's hard, because he knows everything you like and everything you don't like. How can he surprise you?

❤ But maybe it's not about the surprise - and just that he has gifted you something in general. He thinks about this stuff too much.

❤ So he settles with a shit load of stuff. Like a goodie bag, almost. It has candles, snacks, love letters, stickers and gift cards. He didn't know what specificall you wanted so he just got you a bunch of stuff.

Hifumi Yamada

❤ His gifts do not come in physical form, but rather writing, where he creates a whole novel of you in your favorite fictional world. He knows you so well, and he's amazing are characterization - everything plays out exactly how you imagined in your head.

❤ This is his to-go thing. Outside of that, he will cook a simple meal for the two of you, or the two of you can draw together. He'll take pictures of you trying on his glasses, print them, and tape them inside of one of his writing journals.

"Do you enjoy them that much?" You ask, a bit self conscious, looking at the photos as he takes out the tape.

"Why, of course! You look absolutely ravishing."

The corner of your mouth raises in a shrug, but you just know that he loves you a lot, as if he doesn't show it all the time anyway.

Chihiro Fujisaki

❤ Mostly, every single time he goes outside, you are there with him. So buying you a present was actually rather difficult. He eventually just had to say I'm going to find you a present for white day and took off, alone.

❤ Your Valentines Day gift to him was a fidget toy. You realized that whenever he was away from a computer, he doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands.

❤ He wanted to get you something equally important.

❤ Him and his dad went together on White Day, pondering together. He got you a stuffed rabbit, just for how cute it looked. He also got you flowers, fitting those things (poorly) into a tiny little backpack, one that is your favorite color.

❤ He had you close your eyes when he came home. When he put the bag into your hand, you were surprised at how large the gift was.

"I was... unsure as to whether you would like it or not." He clasps his hands together, rubbing his thumb over the other.

You make a show of kissing the rabbit on the cheek. "It's amazing, I love it."

His worried eyes calm as he smiles.

#leon kuwata x reader #leon kuwata #byakuya togami x reader #byakuya togami #ishimaru kiyotaka x reader #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo owada #mondo owada x reader #mondo oowada #yasuhiro hagakure x reader #hagakure yasuhiro #yasuhiro hagakure #makoto naegi x reader #makoto naegi #hifumi yamada x reader #hifumi yamada #danganronpa chihiro #chihiro fujisaki x reader #danganronpa

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buckybarnesdiaries · 3 years

Text

i'm not the winter soldier anymore, i'm james buchanan barnes

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

SPOILERS — 1x03!!!

you help Bucky with a panic attack, after coming back from Madripoor.

word count: 1.145 words.

warnings/tags: ptsd situation, panic attack, reader insert.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

It wasn't inevitable for you to not notice that Bucky had been absent-minded since the three of you came to the bar. The beers were rolling on the table as the chat turned from their mission to Sam's war stories. You were having a good night, sharing laughs and past adventures, disconnecting from work, until Bucky stood up while having a long sip from his bottle. I need air, he just said, causing your other partner and you to look at each other a little confused. You glanced at him leaving the place before putting back your attention on Sam. He waved his head to the exit, urging you to follow the soldier outside.

You didn't need anything else to do it, leading your steps throughout the crowd of people there to find Bucky. Once outdoors and zipping up your jacket, you glimpsed a shadow coming into the next corner to a dead-end street. Rubbing your nose, you continued to the alley without hesitating, hearing some grunts echoing between both buildings. He was there. Hands placed against the wall, head bowed and eyes closed. His chest rose and fell furious, trying to breathe. You didn't think about your actions, putting a foot wrong when you rested your fingers on his middle back.

His whole anatomy shook, walking away from you almost sweating and scared, but ready to attack. Until Bucky laid his eyes on you.

“It's okay, it's okay… It's me”. You intoned using a soft and calm tone of voice.

“Sorry, uh… I just… I can't bre— breathe”. He waved the vibranium hand close to his chest, gasping like a fish out of water.

He was having a panic attack and you knew exactly why. Taking two long strides, you landed a hand on the back of his head and grabbed his flesh hand strongly, guiding him to the closest wall to rest him on it.

“Hey, hey, James… James focus on me, c'mon, focus on me”. You called him, sliding your fingers across his neck to force him to look at you. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Fixing your orbs in his, you show him how he had to do it. Inhaling through your nostrils, holding the air for three seconds, and exhaling it by your nose. He followed your instructions, once and again, until he was respiring quietly and normally.

“Now, repeat with me. I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore, I'm James Buchanan Barnes”.

“I'm no— not the Winter… Soldier anymore… I'm James Buchanan Barnes”.

“That's it… That's it... One more time. Can you say it for me one more time? Please”. Your honeyed tone made his pulse slow down, nodding with his chin.

“I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore. I'm James Buchanan Barnes”. His voice was firm now, finally believing his own affirmation.

“You back?” You whispered caressing his rough cheek using your thumb.

“Yeah… I just… had all those voices… screaming inside my head. I couldn't shut them up”. He explained, squeezing your hand between his digits, rested close to his heart. “That… That… I, uh… In Madripoor… I… I heard Zemo saying how easy was for me to… y'know, come ba—”

“Don't do that to yourself, Bucky. You've worked really hard to be where you are right now”.

“You mean in an alley that smells like peed and puke, having an atta—”.

Again, you didn't think about your actions, slapping his face with your free hand and furrowing towards him. Bucky's mouth dropped to the floor, more than surprised and gulping a complaint.

“Why…? Did you just…? What the hell?”

“You were wandering again”. You excused your gesture. “Want another, uh?”

“Hell, no!” He pouted at you, looking through his eyelids trying to make you feel sorry. “Why a slap? Did you think that was a good way to calm somebody? Why not a kiss?”

“Oh, god… here we go 'gain”. You couldn't help but roll your eyes with the intention of drawing some distance between both, but he pushed you closer till your chests were practically stuck to the other.

“'M not stupid”. He scoffed securing his vibranium arm around your lower back to not let you go.

“I was worried, Buck”.

“See? You call me like that”.

“Like what? It's your name”.

“Uh… Not actually”. The soldier replied, shaking his head to both sides briefly. “Only Steve called me like that, he was my friend”.

“So am I”.

“Are you?”

His gaze made you feel weak, breaking down the walls around your heart that too much time costed you to build. You licked your upper lip with resignation, leaning and resting your forehead on his clavicle. You afforded to close your eyes and tour his neck back to his scalp to tangle your fingers there, slowly, gently, fondly. It was a step to admit your real feelings for Bucky, and he accepted it without refusing.

The soldier kissed your temple to put his chin on top of your head, holding you tighter and rolling down his eyelids to only focus on your caresses. For an instant, everything disappeared around you. The world got emptied. The noise got shut down.

“I was scared. Not for me, but for you”. You confessed, not needing to explain why. He was conscious about your reasons because he was too somehow. “But that's not gonna happen again”.

At the moment you raised your face, Bucky took the advantage to press his lips on your forehead. “How could it, if I have you to remind me who I am?”

“I'm just a plus, Buck. Don't give me a credit you earned by yourself and your constant work. You did it alone, I just supported you”.

“Like fewer people did, and like fewer people do”.

“You've never cared about people's opinion”.

“Yeah, till my relationship with Sam changed. And till I met you”. Bucky affirmed very securely.

“But don't forget you're a fighter. You're strong, you deserve good things to happen to your life”.

“I won't”. He responded, bringing your hand tangled to his flesh one to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of yours. “Thank you…”

“You don't have to”. Clicking your tongue, you couldn't help but roll your eyes. “Let's come back to the bar, we need another round of beers”.

“I can't get drunk, remember?”

“You have so much fun watching me being drunk, remember?”

“How could I forget it? You always make that… horrible impression of my arm, with those… robot noises”. Bucky chuckled, pinching your side and causing you to jump slightly under his grip. Your laugh made him feel better.

“C'mon! You love it!”

“Oh, yeah, I do”. He opened his eyes a little more, nodding his head while placing his vibranium arm on your shoulders, but without loosening the hold around your other hand. “I'd like to see you imitating Sam tonight”.

“Nasty boy…” You joked with a giggle.

feedback is appreciated. lemme know in a comment if you enjoyed it. and REBLOG!!! 🤍

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #james bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader

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marahuyos · 3 years

Text

how they kiss: genshin boys

*:･ﾟ✧ nothing much, just me describing how diluc, kaeya, childe and zhongli kiss. this piece is mostly just me trying to practice how to write kisses.

tw: slight suggestive themes, swearing, character story spoilers for childe, zhongli

✧ Diluc Ragnvindr

• A tentative flame-you don’t know whether it would spark and rise up in flames or die out in smoke, leaving nothing but a charred mess. That’s how Diluc is. You know he wasn’t good at this and he’s both thankful that you’re patient enough and annoyed that he couldn’t even muster a single kiss. At the start of your relationship, he is like a flame on a matchstick during a snowstorm. He burns but with how cold the world is, he fights to survive. With you, you are the closed space that blocks the harsh snow. You are the hands that cradle his flame ever so gently. He may be the one with the Pyro Vision but you warm his cold heart.

• His lips are slightly chapped but you’ll be lucky when you catch them moist, tasting of wine when Diluc taste tests new wines. When you do catch him with wine-flavored lips, you would press your lips against his with an excited grin on your mouth. With your sudden kiss, Diluc had to open his mouth to emit a gasp as you took the chance to slip your tongue inside his mouth. The taste of wine was stronger, your tongue slowly gliding over his own just to taste the sinful beverage. Your hands would grasp his shoulders, massaging the muscle that’s been way too tense. You think that you have surprised him from your impromptu kiss but Diluc is just as passionate as you are.

• Reaching around your back, he pushed you closer to him, chests bumping against each other as he began gaining control. He tilts your head, his ruby eyes staring at your surprised ones. He parts for a chance to breathe before diving back in to claim your lips again. The wine he tasted was still present on his lips but, combined with your taste, he was already getting drunk on the flavor. His nose nearly brushes against your cheek as he hears you mewl from his sudden outburst. His hands roam around your back, leaving warm tingles across your skin despite the layers of clothes. Before you two part for the next breath of air, he whispers into your lips how cheeky you are, his breathless voice making you swoon.

“You truly test my patience, love. Don’t think that I will back down once I’m through with you.”

✧ Kaeya Alberich

• As much as he’s cold to the touch, being a Cryo user and all, he is rather like the freshly fallen snow on a winter’s morning. Yes, it may bite your skin (also doesn’t help that Kaeya is a biter) but it also leaves you tingling after the cold shock response. That’s how he leaves you after kisses: shivering but wanting more as he chuckles on how cute and needy you are for him.

• He’s a charmer so it’s not an uncommon sight to see him with pampered skin and well-taken care of hair. So, as such, you bet that his lips are just as soft and plump (like his chest) because he always seeks out the best lip care. You’re jealous of the way his lips just shine naturally and how pouty they are every time he speaks. Your jealousy became a weapon for him, as he would always go beyond your personal space, making sure his lips are the focus as he smirks. And if that didn’t make you want to wipe the smug smirk off of his face, there was probably more teasing remarks that Kaeya would’ve used. You taste mint and hints of berry when you kissed his lips, swallowing in the chuckle that he emitted. His hand reaches around the back of your head as he tilts your head, deepening the kiss as he teases your lips.

• Remember when I said that he’s a biter? He would always nibble on your lips if the cold wasn’t enough for you. First, it was small kisses on your bottom lip then his teeth gently nibbling on it. He takes his time, making sure your lips are swollen before kissing you fully and letting the cold in your mouth. His one eye is open to see your closed ones, which clearly meant you were enjoying it. He chuckles against your lips before running his tongue along the roof of your mouth before parting away, a trail of spittle connecting your lips. His eye shined with wildly when he sees your dazed look.

“Clocking out already? We’ve only just begun, darling.”

✧ Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax

• There’s three ways on how Childe kisses-and it all really depends on who you’re talking to. In his years as a Harbinger and in his time wandering the Abyss with his teacher, the young man has garnered many a façade. He doesn’t just hand out his love for free-you must brave through his storm that he brewed for himself, the capsizing waves that swallows anything in its path. Only then will you see the eye of the storm and see Ajax.

• As Childe, you literally get what you hear. Childe’s kisses is, well, childish. Quick little pecks on your lips when he’s in a hurry, a loud, obnoxious kiss on your cheek, or him rubbing his nose softly against yours-all of those things are Childe. You can’t really tell if he was ever serious at all when he smirks playfully at your flushed face. As Tartaglia, this is the storm that you need to brave. He is a Harbinger for a reason and his kisses are just as ruthless. Overbearing, domineering, he makes sure that everything you see is only him. His lips glide over to yours before sinking his teeth on your lip until it’s swollen. His tongue would push in, teeth nearly clacking against each other as his hands grip your skin to the point of painful. As a warrior, he dominates, he conquers, and you were no exception.

• But as Ajax, sweet sweet Ajax, he’s none of those things. He lets go of Foul Legacy, he lets go of his weapons-in front of you, it is merely a young lad who grew up too fast too soon. He is the still waters, easily disturbed by any force, so you take his face between your hands as you initiated the kiss. First it was small pecks, then a pleasant plant of the lips against his before whispering against his lips that he is your home. What sounded like a choked cry died in his throat, as his own hands clutched your hips shakily as he draws you closer. His lips are surprisingly smooth, either from the Hydro Vision he’d been using or he’s taken heed to his older sister’s skincare. There was no danger, no tension, no ulterior motive each stroke of tongue you two share. Here, he is finally himself.

“I don’t know what god would give me someone like yourself, babe... But I’m grateful that you’re here.”

✧ Zhongli

• Morax, Rex Lapis, Vago Mundo... many names, many lives, many loves. Zhongli had such a long life of war, love, and everything that no one should’ve ever experienced. He is as long-standing as the earth (haha), never faltering, even with so much weathering. He should be as long-standing, there was no room for cracks, even as a mortal man. Yet, he seems like he didn’t know that you’ve already made several cracks across his heart and weathering him down to a man who is in love.

• His kisses are secure. Vanilla maybe, but you know that Zhongli is being a gentleman. With a hand under your chin to tilt up your face towards his, his thumb smoothly glides over your bottom lip before planting his lips against yours. He moves his lips against yours slowly, giving small pecks along the way, before diving back in. His other hand smoothly glides over your back before settling on your waist, pulling you closer. Meanwhile, your hands would softly tug at his ponytail, making the gentleman shiver as he gives a warning pinch to your waist for being cheeky.

• But there are times when that gentlemanly face breaks through. Most of the time it may be Venti getting him drunk. In this moment, he remembers that he was a ruthless god who formed this land from his own hands. He is the god of contracts and if you wanted it rougher, then he expects to hold your end of the bargain. Excuse my sudden twist, but I am a firm fuckin believer of dragon Zhongli and ya’ll can pry his elongated, forked tongue swiping across your lips before slithering inside your mouth off of my cold dead hands. His fangs threatening to bleed your lips... unless you wanted it, then who is he to oblige? His clawed fingers poking holes through your clothes as more skin is accessible to his scaly hands. There is no escaping this contract.

“My treasure, you created this contract. Now you must abide to the conditions.”

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

Text

Burn The Witch 5 - Cross Your Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Lying is supposed to be easy for spies.

Series Masterlist

You were beginning to think undercover operations were some sort of punishments given to agents, because lying was one thing, but creating a whole life around that lie was another.

Not only were your knives replaced by a bunch of paintings on the wall, you now had some photos in frames; old photos of people you didn’t know, people who were supposed to be your “cover” family.

You’d still prefer to have your knives on the walls though.

“You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to be on my side!” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear, and heard Chloe’s laugh.

“I am on your side, I just can’t do anything about your uniform.”

You plopped down on the couch, setting your heels down on the floor.

“Bucky might be from 1940s, but he knows that it’s the 21st century now,” you said, putting the heels on, “No reason to make me dress like a….weird pin up waitress.”

“It’s a part of your mission,” she reminded you, “What, you can kill a target with a wine glass but a pin up costume is where you draw the line?”

You clicked your tongue, “Anyone can kill someone with a wine glass. It’s not that hard.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Babe it’s not rocket science, you just break the bowl part, then use the stem to stab them in the—“ you got distracted when you opened the kitchen cabinet, “I’m sorry, why do I have so many kitchen supplies?”

She held her breath in excitement, “Do you like them?”

“I don’t know what to do with most of them.”

“Cover Y/N likes cooking!”

“And the real Y/N can’t stand her,” you deadpanned, making her stifle a laugh.

“So he hasn’t texted you yet?”

“Barnes?” you asked, “Not yet. Why?”

“Well, I took the liberty of taking a look at his messages the other day.”

“Oh God, don’t tell me,” you said, “He’s seeing someone else?”

“No no, not at all,” she said, “He’s totally single, and probably ready to mingle. With you, that is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He and Wilson were talking about you the other day. Well, more like Wilson was telling him to get his shit together and ask you out.”

“I don’t think he’s the type to ask someone out via text,” you said, “I think he will come to the shop one of these days.”

“Why?”

“He looked sort of….” You searched for the word in your mind, “Uh-clueless?”

“Clueless?”

“Yeah, you know how assassins usually flirt,” you ignored her noise of disagreement, “He wasn’t like that.”

“You really need to focus on the personal details of his file.”

You scowled, “What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, “I know his favorite weapons, what knives he—”

“Personal file,” she repeated, “You know there’s more to people than their weapons of choice right?”

“I might have to engage in combat if I’m ever compromised, and do you know how many people walked away alive after engaging in combat with the Winter Soldier in all these decades?” you asked, “Three. Three people; Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and they are legends. I might be good, but I’m not that good.”

“Just memorizing his arsenal can’t help you in this mission,” she said, “Did you know that he hasn’t exactly dated since becoming the Winter Soldier? His ex Connie ended up having 3 kids and a long career at the post office—“

“What am I supposed to do Chloe, stalk grandma’s Instagram?”

“No, she passed away 5 years ago.”

“Of course she did,” you mumbled, “Listen, I don’t have time for this. I’m already knee deep in my own cover, I can’t get into Barnes’s past when it’ll give me no advantage in the mission.”

“Y/N-“

“Trust me,” you cut her off, looking in the mirror to fix your uniform, “I have everything under control.”

***

You had maybe like one thing under control and that was the milkshake you were currently pouring into a mason jar. After a crash course in different recipes yesterday, you barely needed any help from your coworkers and seeing that the shop wasn’t very crowded, you didn’t have to rush.

And now you knew how to make three things; pasta, eggs and milkshakes.

If Keith were here, he would’ve said those were 3 main food groups.

“Tara, we’re running low on maraschino cherries,” you said as you shook the can and your new coworker turned to you.

“Oh that’s okay, there’s another jar are under the counter.”

You put the cherry over the whipped cream, and handed the jar to her. “There you go.”

“Another week of working here and you will come up with your own recipes,” she said, “Tell me the truth, are you like a spy sent by a rival company?”

You stared at her, then forced a laugh.

“I wish,” you said, “Maybe I’d be paid more.”

“Good point,” she said and walked to give the milkshake to the customer while you put the empty jar aside, then went under the counter to search for a new jar.

“Strawberries….” You read the labels out loud as you heard the wind bells chime by the door, “Figs, berries—cherries!”

You reached out to grab the jar and stood up but as soon as you did, you caught the sight of the figure by the door and held your breath, the jar slipping from your grip before you caught it mid-air.

“Bucky.” You breathed out, before you remembered to plaster a smile on your face.

Naïve, soft hearted civilian.

He stole a look around as if he expected someone to attack him at any seconds in a milkshake shop before he stepped closer to the counter you were standing behind.

“Hi.”

“Hi-hi there!” you said, putting the jar down, “You came!”

“You sound surprised,” he smiled and you shrugged your shoulders, shooting him a mischievous look,

“Better late than never, I suppose.”

He hissed in a breath, “Ouch, was it that late?”

“Just a little,” you said “So what can I get you?”

He looked up at the board over the wall, “What are my options?”

“Well, we have Unicorn Cotton Candy, Pumpkin Spice Latte, Candy Cane Passion, Lavender Macaron—“ you stopped talking when you saw the clueless look on his face and cleared your throat, “Or hey, maybe chocolate? We have chocolate milkshake.”

“Chocolate sounds good.”

“Coming right up.” You took a mason jar from the shelf to get to it and he grabbed his wallet, making you raise your brows.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Oh come on—”

“I’m going to make you an overly complicated milkshake if you try to pay for this,” you warned him, shaking the can before putting whipped cream on top of the milkshake, “It’s on the house, I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” he said quickly, making you point at him with the straw.

“Either way, I’m warning you. I’m armed and dangerous.”

“Consider me intimidated,” he said with a grin as he put the cash into the tip jar and you narrowed your eyes.

“Bucky.”

“Well technically, tip doesn’t count.”

“I wonder where I heard that before,” you muttered under your breath while he walked to pull himself a seat.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” you said, reminding yourself that your cover probably wouldn’t make dirty jokes and went to place the milkshake in front of him.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” You waved a dismissive hand and rested your elbows on the counter, leaning in slightly.

He was gentleman enough to not check out your cleavage, instead kept his gaze on your face, making you suppress a smile.

“You were right,” Bucky said, his eyes darting around the café after a couple of seconds, “About how this place looked. It is creepily accurate.”

“Really?”

“I mean we didn’t have a neon flowers corner, but…” he trailed off, “Yeah. Yeah, I would say so.”

“Is that why you look like you expect someone to jump out of shadows and attack you?” you asked and his head shot up before he scrunched up his face.

“That obvious?”

“Not that I have lots of experience but so far none of the customers looked this uncomfortable while drinking a milkshake,” you said, “Is it because deep down you actually wanted to try Unicorn Cotton Candy?”

“Oh no, I’m good with classics,” He held up his milkshake, “No I just think that I’m a bit….uh, rusty.”

“Rusty,” you repeated, “On what?”

“On this.”

You batted your lashes, looking up at him and you could almost feel him being lured in.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow,” you said softly after a beat and he gulped, taking a deep breath.

“It’s just that you’re—“ he cleared his throat, “You’re very beautiful and it’s been decades since I last asked someone out for a date.”

Winter Soldier, credited with over 100 assassinations, you reminded yourself Don’t lower your guard, it’s just a cover.

Don’t believe in your own cover.

You bit down a smile, tilting your head.

“Well, I didn’t think you were rusty,” you said and he raised his brows.

“You didn’t?”

“Not at all,” you said, “For the record, I’m definitely going to say yes.”

“Are you?”

“Absolutely,” you grinned, “Once you actually ask me, that is. With words, not an implication.”

His smile was almost playful, “With words, huh?”

“I’m old fashioned like that,” you taunted him, “Let’s see how we can make it less awkward for you though. Would you feel more comfortable to ask me out if you knew some weird stuff about me?”

“You know, that would help a lot actually.”

You tapped your fingernails on the counter, looking up at the ceiling, pretending to be in deep thought. Your superiors had always said the best cover stories were somehow based on real life without revealing your identity, so you figured telling him random things about you wouldn’t hurt or put the mission in danger.

“Well, I really like grapes but I don’t like the skin, so I end up peeling every grape I eat, one by one,” you counted with your fingers, “I watched a documentary once and now I can’t swim in any lakes because I keep thinking I’ll get attacked by that weird flesh eating bacteria. When I was sixteen, I was the president of the chess club but I had a boyfriend who didn’t believe in the moon landing—”

“I heard about the moon landing!” he said quickly, “I didn’t get around to watch it yet though.”

“Oh my God, you should.”

“What else?”

“I’m scared of peacocks,” you confessed, “I know everyone says they’re beautiful but they look like they’re waiting for the right time to attack you.”

He looked like he was fighting with himself not to laugh and he pressed his metal fist on his lips, his whole attention on you.

“You can’t laugh!” you exclaimed and he shook his head, trying to look as serious as possible.

“I’m not!” he managed to hide his chuckle with a cough, “Keep going, this is very helpful.”

You heaved a sigh. “Well, do you want to hear the most embarrassing one?”

“Absolutely.”

“I normally keep my phone on mute 24/7 but since last week it’s been on full volume because I was terrified I’d miss something important.”

The amused light in his eyes got softer and he lowered his hand, a smile warming his face.

Hook, line…

“I was um— I was hoping for you to call, you see.” you said, averting your gaze from him to look down for a second, biting on your lip.

His voice was raspy; “Were you?”

You shrugged your shoulders, mumbling an inaudible maybe, and his eyes trailed down to your lips before snapping up to lock your gaze in his.

“What time do you get off work today?”

And sinker.

Time to pull back.

You sucked in a breath through your teeth, “I work at the soup kitchen tonight.”

“Oh –I thought you said it was on Mondays and Wednesdays.”

“I did, I’m just covering for a friend tonight. Family emergency, she says.” you said and pushed your hair behind your ear, shifting your weight, “But my shift is over at 6 tomorrow and I can be ready around 7, I live really close by. If you’re- if you’re free, that is.”

“I am.”

“It’s a date, then.”

“It’s a date,” he repeated and stood up, “See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See you tomorrow Bucky.” You smiled as he walked out of the shop and Tara came closer to you.

“Wow, you’ve been here a month and you met someone that hot?” she said and winked at you, “Good job there.”

Right.

Good job.

***

“So, wait—“ Chloe came closer to sit between you and Keith, holding a huge bowl of popcorn, “He just showed up?”

“Mm hm.”

“And you have a date tomorrow?”

Keith uncapped your beer and handed you the bottle as you rested your feet on the coffee table.

“You’re being careful, aren’t you?” he asked you and you nodded.

“Sure.”

“He doesn’t suspect anything?”

“No, he’s buying this whole naïve soft hearted civilian thing,” you said while Chloe snatched the remote from Keith’s hand, ignoring protests.

“And are you?”

You dragged your eyes from the list of movies on the screen. “I want a horror movie.”

“Well too bad, I want an action movie.”

“We’re watching a rom-com and that’s final!” Chloe pointed at both of you, making you groan.

“Why does this keep happening?” Keith asked to no one in particular and she snapped her fingers.

“It’s my turn and my place so I pick the movie,” she said and shot you a look, “I’m still waiting for an answer, by the way. You don’t….you don’t have feelings for Barnes, right?”

Keith stole a look at you before turning to Chloe,

“I don’t think our dear friend here wants a relationship beautiful,” he told her, “Not after what happened the last time.”

You could feel the goosebumps rising on your arms as a shiver ran down your spine.

“I don’t even know Barnes all that well yet, but I can assure you he’s not the type to—“ you paused, “Do something that cowardly.”

Keith gritted his teeth. “Where is that asshole anyway?”

“Hungary,” Chloe said and you raised your brows.

“Undercover?”

“Yeah. I hope he gets compromised and dies there.”

“Very unlikely,” you murmured, “Anyways, what brought this on? My feelings for Barnes?”

“It’s just that I recently read Vincent Smith’s file,” she said, “You guys remember Vincent?”

“Who?”

“His code name was Marco.”

“Oh, I remember Marco!” Keith said, “That guy took down a whole unit by himself. What happened to him?”

“He is missing.” Chloe said and you pulled your brows together.

“Since when do agents go missing and we don’t know where they are?”

“Since they fall for the target.”

“No way,” Keith chuckled, “Badass spy Marco fell in love? Poor idiot.”

“You’re a terrible person, Keith.”

You sat up straighter, “Wait, did you say he fell for the target?”

“Yeah, I saw the reports from his handler. And now he’s missing, and I don’t want you to run away with Barnes like Marco did with his target.”

You and Keith exchanged glances and you clicked your tongue.

“Chloe babe, he’s not missing.” you said “He’s dead.”

She pulled back slightly, “You don’t know-“

“Yes I do. You don’t fall for the target and compromise the whole mission, not unless you want to end up dead.”

“There’s no report of that,” she insisted and Keith sipped his beer.

“What did his report say, sweetheart?”

“That he was removed from his mission before going missing.”

Keith scoffed, “Rest in peace Marco, you won’t be missed.”

“How do you know—“

“Because that’s the code,” you said, “If the report says he was removed from his mission and went missing, it means he was killed by an agent on our side.”

“We killed our own agent?” she exclaimed and you turned the beer bottle in your hand,

“He stopped being our agent the moment he fell for the target.”

Chloe covered her mouth with her hands, worry etched into her expression, “Y/N, please, please promise me you won’t somehow get too involved in this mission and fall for Barnes and put yourself in danger.”

You let out a small laugh, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

“It’s the Winter Soldier we’re talking about,” you reminded her and chewed on the popcorn, “Trust me, that would never happen.”

“Cross your heart?”

You heaved a sigh and clinked your beer bottle with hers.

“Cross my heart honey,” you assured her, “There’s no way I’d sign my own death warrant by doing something that stupid.”

Chapter 6

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #marvel #bucky barnes x you

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