#thank you for all the support for this series <3

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Cherry Blossom. aka - Cherry, Part Four.

a night of conversations, kisses and long awaited confessions.

pairing - bestfriend!steve harrington x female reader

warnings - cursing, kissing (but no real smut).

word count - 2.6k

authors note - the babies are back!! no smut in this one - it was getting too long. but don’t you worry… there’s gonna be so much smut in part five !! sorry for the cliffhanger. love u <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

series masterlist. main masterlist. inbox.

The smoke from the bonfire is stinging your eyes, ash sticking to the strands of your hair. Orange embers burn rapidly, dry wood being occasionally thrown on top by drunk boys with red cups in their hands.

The music is way too loud for a forest party, but no one seems to care. Someone’s haphazardly strung lights between the trees, creating a surprisingly cosy ambience. The atmosphere is alive, charged with the electricity of being out later than curfew.

“M’lady!”

You laugh, accepting the drink from Eddie’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you, kind sir,” you say as you curtsy sarcastically, making both of you laugh harder. “Hey, you didn’t bump into Steve on your way over here, did you? I haven’t seen him for like an hour.”

The curly haired boy kicks the toe of your sneaker with his.

“Saw him with that Clara girl, talking by the lake.”

You take a steadying breath, pretending it doesn’t bother you in the slightest.

“You should go and check if he needs rescuing,” Eddie jokes. “God knows she can talk for hours without coming up for air.”

You smile at him, pulling at one of his curls.

“Good idea. Just in case.”

“Just in case,” he winks, pushing you in the right direction.

You saunter down towards the water, spotting your best friend instantly. He’s stood with his arms across his chest, weight on one hip as he tries to listen to whatever Clara has to say. The minute he sees you, his posture is straightening, lips quirking up at the corners.

Clara turns around to see what Steve is looking at, her face falling when she recognises you.

“Hi. I don’t mean to interrupt! Just wanted to check if you needed another drink, Stevie.”

The boy grins, beckoning you closer with a nod of his head. When you’re near enough, he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to your lips, all affectionate and tender.

Oh.

You don’t do that.

The two of you have kept your romance completely behind closed doors, up until now. It hasn’t got a name, never mind a label, and you don’t need people asking questions when you don’t even know the answers yourself.

You could blame it on the alcohol, but you know Steve’s on his first drink. With your head spinning, you look up at him as if he is the sun and all things warm. He looks down at you the exact same way.

“I’m gonna go see where my friends are,” Clara says a little too loudly, strutting away with as much confidence as she can muster.

You have a sudden feeling that you’re the villain in her story, but you’re not entirely sure why.

“How many drinks have you had?” Steve asks as he pulls a strand of hair away from your face.

“This is my second. I was nursing my first one, Eddie says.”

The boy laughs, and you grab onto his bicep for support. The sound of it is enough to buckle your knees.

“This is my first. It’s not doing much for me.”

“You want something different? I’m sure Robin has that beer you like in her bag.”

“Nah, I’m okay. Don’t think I’m gonna drink any more tonight.”

Steve slips his hands into the back pockets of your jeans, pulling you in closer and keeping them there.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

“Okay,” he whispers back.

And then he kisses you. Again. It’s slow and careful and so romantic that you think you might start crying about it.

“What time is it?” he asks when he pulls away as if nothing happened.

“Eleven thirty.”

“You wanna stay a bit longer?”

“Not if you don’t.”

Steve presses his lips to your forehead, hands cradling your cheeks.

“I kinda wanna go home.”

You smile at him, all soft and sweet.

“Then let’s go home. I’m getting a little cold, anyway. And I didn’t bring a jacket.”

“Will you ever learn?” he laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulders.

“If it means I have to stop wearing your jackets that I know you bring to parties just for me? No, I won’t.”

You weren’t supposed to say that out loud, but the way Steve chuckles soothes the sting of the accidental wound.

“Let’s go home, Cherry Baby.”

Home. The assumption that the two of you will always be returning to the same place makes your heart so full, you wonder how it doesn’t spill over.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“You good?”

“Feet hurt.”

This happens every single time the two of you go to a party, so you feel as if you’re reliving a memory.

“Hop on.”

“Steve-”

“Cherry. Come on. We’ll get home quicker this way.”

You can’t argue with that. Steve crouches as you jump onto his back, his hands wrapping around your thighs to keep you steady. You wrap your arms around his neck from behind, resting your head on top of his.

“Comfy back there?”

You hum, the noise of agreement enough for Steve to start walking.

The two of you chat each others ears off on the way home, talking about nothing and everything. You laugh so hard at something he says that you end up with a mouthful of his hair, which he in turn finds hilarious.

“Have you thought any more about what I said the other day?”

“You say a lot of things, Steven.”

He chuckles, shaking his head and giving your thighs a squeeze.

“About college.”

You go quiet for a moment, and Steve wonders if he’s chosen the wrong time to have this conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s talk about it later, okay? When I’m not constantly worried I’m gonna accidentally trip and kill you.”

You nod, and he feels it. You know it needs to be a discussion sometime soon, but perhaps having it when you’re being carried down the street on your best friends back isn’t all that practical.

“Love you,” you mumble into the crook of Steve’s neck.

He shudders a little at your lips on his skin, leaning his head sideways to rest against yours.

“Love you, Cherry Pie. More than anything.”

You let Steve piggyback you all the way to his front door. Neither of you say anything else. Neither of you feel the need to.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Steve bumps his hip into yours as you both brush your teeth, laughing at your shocked reflection in the mirror.

“Are you okay?” you ask as you place your toothbrush back in its holder, right next to his.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“You sure?”

You hop up on the bathroom counter, sitting up so you’re eye to eye with the boy in front of you. He takes a step forward, standing between your legs as he splays his cold hands over your thighs.

“Why’d you ask?”

You trace over his fingers where they rest on your skin, quiet for a moment.

“You seemed pretty eager to go home tonight. It’s unlike you. You love a party. Leaving at eleven thirty is like… unheard of, for King Steve.”

“King Steve would rather be at home with you than at a party with all those people.”

“Really?”

“Really. Clara was going on about something or other, the music was too loud, and I could feel the chill coming in. It hit me, all of a sudden, that I’d rather be in bed. Or, anywhere else, as long as I was with you.”

You lean forward to rest your head against his chest, sighing when he starts playing with your hair gently.

“You’re a softie,” you mumble into his shirt. “And a mind reader.”

“It’s my one talent,” he chuckles. “I wish reading your mind was a college major. I’d be the best in the world.”

You shake your head, laughing like you can’t help it.

“If I don’t move soon, I’m gonna fall asleep on this bathroom counter.”

“Want me to carry you?”

“Contrary to popular belief,” you tease as you hop down, “my legs actually do work.”

Steve gasps, all theatrical and exaggerated, which only makes you laugh harder.

“Come on, sleepy girl. Let’s go to bed.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“We’re not talking about stuff.”

You whisper it into the darkness, the trees rustling outside Steve’s window serving as the only sound you can hear.

“Hmm?”

Your legs are tangled with his, tired head resting on the boys shoulder as your sides are pressed together. You’re both lying on your backs, staring at the ceiling.

“We keep saying we’ll talk about stuff, but we haven’t been. It’s not like us.”

“You mean, like, feelings?”

“Yeah.”

All that can be heard now is two sets of heaving lungs. Steve’s hand finds yours under the duvet, fingers intertwining.

“Is there something specific that’s bothering you?”

“Not bothering me as such. I just… I think the more we don’t talk, the more complicated things become.”

There’s silence for a moment, before Steve speaks.

“I’m scared, Cherry.”

The tone of his voice is paper thin and vulnerable, and you will yourself not to cry about it.

“Of what, Stevie?”

You squeeze his hand, tucking yourself further into his side until there isn’t an inch of space between you.

“Of… everything changing. You’re my best friend in the entire world, and I know that what we’ve been doing isn’t typical… best friend stuff. I just…” he takes a deep breath, exhaling carefully. “I worry that something will happen and we’ll break up, and I’ll lose you forever.”

His voice cracks on the last word, fear seeping through his pores. Yet, he continues.

“I’d die without you, Cherry. I really would. I don’t know what it’s like to live in a world where we’re not… us.”

You turn onto your side to face him in the dark, reaching up to cradle his cheek softly. You rest your forehead against his temple, pressing a kiss into his skin.

“I’m scared too. I have been ever since that first night in my room. Not because I don’t trust you, or because I don’t feel that way about you… but because I don’t want to lose you either. More than anything, I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why didn’t we talk about this sooner?” he laughs, throat thick with emotion.

“Because we’re us. And whether we talk or don’t talk, we know we’ll figure it out. We always know we’ll be okay.”

“I love you,” he whispers into the dark. “More than all the stars in the sky.”

“I love you,” you whisper back. “More than all the grains of sand on all the beaches in the world.”

You press another kiss into his temple, letting your lips linger on his soft skin. He smells so familiar, so warm, so yours… you can’t help but inhale, chuckling when he shudders.

You continue to leave kisses across his jaw, over his ear, down his neck. He tilts his head to give you better access, groaning when you nip at his throat with your teeth, licking over the scrape to soothe him.

Steve pulls you in as if you weigh nothing, moving you so you’re lying on top of him. You sit up, straddling his lap, as he does the same so you’re chest to chest. Running his hands under your shirt and over the bare skin of your back, he rests his forehead against yours.

“You look so pretty like this,” he hums against your lips. “Prettiest girl in the world.”

“You wanna talk about pretty?” you tease, running your fingers through his hair. “My pretty, pretty boy.”

Steve’s hips buck up into yours, making you giggle.

“Oh, you like that? You like it when I call you pretty? Or do you just like it when I call you mine?”

His hips buck again as his cheeks flush pink.

“I am yours,” he murmurs. “Always have been.”

You thought you had the upper hand for a minute, but now you just want to cry. You’re overwhelmed by the way you feel about the boy underneath you, unsure of how to process it without bursting into tears.

“All mine,” you whisper, tracing the features of his face with your fingertip.

Steve takes a deep breath, watching your eyes as they look over him again and again, taking him in as if it’s the first time. He decides it’s now or never.

“Cherry?”

“Stevie?”

Your voices are low and careful, irregardless of the fact that you’re alone in the house.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your heart stops, and so does the world outside. Everything pauses, the two of you suspended in this moment in time.

Steve takes another breath, exhaling it carefully before meeting your eyes and continuing.

“You don’t have to say it back. Now, or ever. I just - I needed you to know.”

You blink back tears as you watch his face, biting your lip to stop them from falling.

“Steve-”

“Hey, I told you. You don’t have to say anything, babe. I know-”

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“Just-”

You surge forward and kiss him with all the affection you can muster, trying to express your feelings. You grip his hair, plastering your bodies together where you sit in his lap still. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you in as close as he can.

“If you let me talk,” you say when you pull away, all breathless, “you’d hear that I have something I’d like to say.”

Steve smiles, humming in acknowledgment and encouraging you to keep going.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

The boy looks shocked to hear it, as if it’s news to him.

“What’s that face for?” you laugh.

“I just… I didn’t expect you to say it back.”

“Steve,” you chuckle, looking at him sternly. When you realise he’s being serious, you double down. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. When we were kids, and someone would say the word ‘husband’, I always pictured you. I was so convinced it was always going to end up being you and I.”

“Why… why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Why didn’t you?”

He laughs, and the sound makes you feel as if you’re on cloud nine. You can feel his heartbeat where his chest is pressed to yours, frantic like he’s just ran a marathon.

“Fuck, I love you.”

He leans up to kiss you, all saccharine and honey sweet.

“Say it again,” you whisper against his lips.

“I’m in love with you, Cherry.”

“Say it again.”

“I, Steve Harrington, declare that I am completely, utterly, ridiculously in love with this girl right here. I always have been. I always will be.”

You can’t help but throw your head back with laughter.

“And I love you. So much.”

The words you’ve always said mean so much more now. It’s a welcome change, one you never thought you’d see happen.

“Hey Steve?”

“Hmm?”

You lean in, nosing at his jaw as you murmur into his ear.

“Want you. So bad.”

“Fuck, honey,” he groans, all low and rough.

“Please. Want it to be you.”

Looking up at you with big eyes, he searches your face for any kind of hesitation.

“Are you sure?”

Smoothing his hair away from his face, you trace your thumb over his bottom lip.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he grins. “I’m about to rock your world, Cherry Blossom.”

@psychicnerdcat @allcheesemelts @valerievortex @swiftsgirlfriend @steviespookie @betweenstarsandsatellites @mrsjoequinn @internallysalad @saucypeanuttt @empathyroad @niceskyler @spookysins @theoraekenslover @7minutes-tomidnight @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @clairesjointshurt @livsters @diffrent-spokes @regular-joe-shmoe @ihatepeanutss @ladyburberry @thenonweeknd @abarelyexistentbeing @jennaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @slut4gaga @hopelessromanticwriter @mgchaser @wintrsoldrluvr

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Happily Ever After

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~500

Warnings: fluff

Summary: You and Bucky deserve your Happily Ever After, and something tells you that you’re going to get it. It doesn’t matter what you face. If you have Bucky by your side, you know you’ll get through it.

Between Love and Hate Masterlist

Squares Filled: this won't a bit (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: this is something short to give you an update on their lives after the events of the entire story. thank you to everyone who loved this series! i had a lot of fun writing it <3

x

You pinch the two fabrics together and slide the pin to keep them together. You take another pin and hold it between your lips before finding another loose spot to pin together. Bucky stands in front of you watching as you work effortlessly on the suit you’re tailoring to his body. He parts his lips when he sees you take the pin out of your mouth to use it on his suit. You lick your dry lips and Bucky shifts in an effort to hide his arousal.

“Would you stop moving? I’m going to poke your skin and you’ll bleed.”

“It won’t be the first time I’ve bled for you.”

“Okay, well, get blood on these clothes and I’m going to kill you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nods.

“Okay, last pin. This won’t hurt a bit.”

You slide the last pin into place and look up at Bucky with a certain glimmer in your eyes.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll get more than blood on these clothes.”

“You’re vulgar,” you gasp and step back.

“You love it.”

“Well, I’m finished now. I’ve recorded my progress and you can take the suit off.”

Bucky steps off the small platform to do just that, and you walk to the double glass doors that lead out to the balcony. You lean on the railing and admire the Eternal City below. Italy. The place you fell in love with since Bucky first took you here. Now you live here and get to do the one thing you’ve aspired to be growing up: a fashion designer. It’s been a year since the incident with Gio but the trauma is still there. You can’t go anywhere without Bucky because you fear you’ll get kidnapped and experience something similar or worse.

Bucky has given you everything you could ever hope to want and need. You don’t have to work since Bucky takes care of you financially. Two months ago, he took you to Paris and gave you a million dollars to spend on whatever you wanted. He truly spoils you even though you don’t need all of that to be happy. You could be in a one-bedroom apartment with an overpriced rent fee and be just as happy. This is what makes Bucky happy so you’ll take it as long as he wants to give it.

Shortly after moving to Italy, you opened your first studio and started making clothes you hope to see in stores soon. The only thing Bucky has provided you with is a studio. Everything else is coming from you which is exactly what you want. You want to look at your clothes and know that it all came from you.

After changing back into a t-shirt and jeans, Bucky walks onto the balcony barefoot. He stands behind you and wraps his arms around your stomach, and you lean back with a smile.

“We should get home. Brute and King are waiting for us and if you keep leaving them alone, they’ll ruin yet another couch. The old one had claw marks everywhere on it.”

“Not my fault they have separation anxiety,” you laugh.

Bucky turns you around and scoops you into his arms, and you wrap your arm around his neck for support.

“Come on, Mrs. Barnes. We have a home to get to.”

“We’re not married… yet. Only one month to go.”

“And a short month it will be.”

“Lead the way, Mr. Barnes.”

And he does all the way home and right back into his heart where you belong.

x

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[gamerwoo]

Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Epilogue)

Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft other skz members)

Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, ex-porn star/neighbor!hyunjin, fluff, humor, alcohol consumption, implied smut but nothing explicitly happens, if i missed anything lmk!!! (minors dni!!!)

Word count: 4,370

Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.

a/n: we finally reached the end!!! i will be revisiting this bc i just love the characters and universe so much so there will be little spin-offs and such here and there. thank you sm for all the love this series received :') <3

Previous | Series Masterlist

Out of all the outfits you’d seen Hyunjin wear, this was definitely the most handsome he’d ever looked. Even if it wasn’t as intricate as some of the other suits he’d worn, this was by far the best he’d looked. Standing in his all-black suit, he smiled at you across the aisle, absolutely beaming as he took in all the work on your hair, makeup, and perfectly-tailored dress. The song that the small orchestra played was a love song you were somewhat familiar with but you couldn’t put a name on – you didn’t have a say in the music and nobody told you what it was called. But the band put a twist on it to sound more like a wedding song since it was, in fact, a wedding.

All you could see was Hyunjin. Felix and Jeongin standing behind him as groomsmen were basically just blurs to you. All the flowers, the small audience, the officiate – everything had faded out of view. You had Hyunjin tunnel vision.

Unfortunately, Kit’s head was now eye-level with you because of the heels she wore, and it mildly destructed your view of your boyfriend. The white veil pinned above her perfect curls didn’t help, either.

You were a bit shocked that Kit had asked you to be her maid of honor. You thought she must’ve had other friends or family that she had known longer or were closer with. She did have a friend from the industry in her bridal party, as well as Changbin’s sister, but that was really it. She claimed you were her favorite girl in her life and she wanted you to be the maid of honor, and really, who were you to say no? You loved Kit and felt honored that you meant that much to her.

Of course, Hyunjin was Changbin’s best man. You remembered how he was beaming when Changbin had asked him. He had come back from a night out with Changbin, Felix, and Jeongin, and he squealed about how all of them were in the wedding party but he was the best man. It was really sweet how much Changbin and Hyunjin cared about and supported each other.

The wedding was big and extravagant like you thought it would be since it involved Kit. While you knew she wasn’t the one who found marriage to be completely necessary, you knew that if she were going to have a wedding to make Changbin happy that she would want to go all out. And as anybody could guess, Changbin would never tell Kit no. The wedding looked like if the Twilight wedding was held in a warm, sunny field outside of a large venue. The venue itself just looked like someone’s large palace. It made you wonder just how much money Changbin and Kit were making, but that wasn’t any of your business. You just had to sit back and enjoy the wedding.

Well, after the ceremony, of course.

The crowd consisted of Kit’s dad’s side of the family, as well as Changbin’s entire family, your old roommates who had integrated into the friend group, and some of Changbin and Kit’s own friends that you’d either met a couple of times or had never seen before. You were actually a bit surprised – and intimidated as you stood in front of the crowd – by how many people they’d invited to this wedding.

The ceremony was short, but sweet. They each prepared vows, and that was honestly the longest part of the whole ceremony, but it was the most entertaining as well as the sweetest. They both put little jokes here and there in their vows to tease the other, which made everyone laugh. But in the end, they were both sniffling with eyes filled with tears of happiness. They kissed, were dubbed married, and walked back up the aisle as they smiled and held hands. 

Leaving you back to grinning like a goofball at your boyfriend across the aisle, who tried to hold in a laugh as he shook his head back at you.

The justice of the peace gestured for you and Hyunjin to come together, so you both walked forward to meet in the middle. You hooked your arm through his, carrying your bouquet as you walked back up the aisle.

You felt Hyunjin lean into you before you felt his warm breath fanning your ear as he said quietly, “This’ll be us someday.”

You tried to contain your eyeroll – you didn’t because you still couldn’t control your facial expressions and had started to believe you never would – since you knew pictures were being taken as you replied, “Probably soon since you have to rush straight into everything.”

Hyunjin scoffed, “Angel, you already know it’s the drama gene. I thought we were passed this.”

-

“So I block her number, but then Jeongin also has to block her number because she started calling him,” Felix explained, talking about a development in the story of him and a girl he started going on dates with from a dating app. 

The short of it was that he matched with this cute brunette girl with freckles, they went on three dates, and she slowly started revealing more red flags throughout each date until the third and final date where Felix broke it off. Now, she was stalking him.

“Ew,” Minho showed a look of disgust, holding a beer bottle in his hand as he leaned against the bar and listened to Felix’s story. 

He was sitting in a stood between the two of you, pulled out just enough that he could look at you both comfortably. You were sitting in a stool on his other side, turned sideways to face your two friends while your arm rested on the cool countertop and your hand wrapped around your mixed drink. You were currently drinking Changbin’s signature drink, which was a whiskey sour. You decided you like it better than Kit’s spicy strawberry daiquiri.

“Yeah, I know!” he agreed, eyes wide. “So we both have her blocked, but then she starts showing up at work!”

“Dude, what?” you laugh, unable to believe what you were hearing. “How did she find out where you work? Did you tell her?”

“No! Never!” he insisted. “I was always sober for my dates and I was so sure to be careful with giving out information too personal on the first date. I just said I worked at a hotel which is…almost true. It’s not a hotel but it’s, like, the same sort of job, right? Anyway, after the end of the first date, I knew I wasn’t gonna trust her with anything personal yet, and the dates kept getting worse and worse, so I never said anything.”

“Yeah, she’s just a certified psycho,” Minho nodded before taking a sip of his beer. It was a bit weird seeing Minho all cleaned up, but you had to admit he looked nice. Perfectly combed brown hair, the jacket of his tux left at his table draped across the back of his chair, and the sleeves of his white button-up were rolled up his forearms. You’d known Minho a long time but never knew he could look this handsome. 

So the reason he’s single has nothing to do with his looks, you thought to yourself. Got it.

“Crazy people will find out anything,” he continued once he had swallowed. “Take Jisung for instance. He knows everything. …And somehow still nothing at all.”

You shrugged with a slight nod. Jisung was definitely the dumbest smart person you knew.

“Okay, but Jisung isn’t stalking people,” Felix stated.

“Okay, but she found out where you work,” you interrupted, trying to get the story back on track. You were very invested. “Then what happened?”

“Yeah, so she showed up during the day before mine or Jeongin’s shifts started but she was asking for me, right? Well, I go in for my shift and Hannie was leaving and mentioned how this girl came in asking for me and she described her. So obviously, I’m like, we need to ban this girl from coming back here. Well she put in an application to live there!”

Your eyes went wide and so did Minho’s. This girl was straight-up insane.

“Does she realize how much that place costs?” you asked.

“Possible sugar mommy,” Minho suggested.

“Oh, shut up,” you told him, rolling your eyes. “So what’re you gonna do?”

“So, what I’m thinking I should do–”

You suddenly saw an arm swing between you and Felix, slapping the counter. You first looked to see it was Kit in her smaller white dress for the reception. It had sheer long sleeves like her actual wedding dress, but the rest of the dress was a plain ivory that was form-fitting and went down to her mid thigh.

“Speaking of psycho sugar mommies…” Minho mumbled before sipping his beer like he didn’t say a word.

Then you followed her tattooed arm down to her hand and saw she slapped cash on the counter. Twenty to be exact.

Felix’s eyebrows were furrowed, “What’s that for?”

Behind Kit was Changbin still in his suit, but without the jacket. You thought the suspenders might make him look silly, but you had to admit, he looked pretty good with them. His hands were in his pocket, but instead of looking disappointed like you thought he might, he was smirking.

Instead of waiting for Kit to answer Felix’s question, your head was whipping around, eyes darting to find your target.

“_____ wins,” Kit sighed. “Unfortunately, we didn’t count on the weird one having just natural weird-kid rizz.”

Finally, you spotted him. Through the crowd, diagonally across the room from you, was Jisung standing there beside a girl with beach blonde hair, and wearing heels that made Jisung perfectly eye-level with her very large breasts – even you were staring and you were shocked to see Jisung was looking straight up into her eyes the entire conversation. You could tell that he was a little nervous but was trying to play it off – the beer in his hand was probably helping – but also that she was very blatantly hitting on him. Touching his shoulder, biting her lip, and twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Yeah, Jisung may be weird, but he had an undeniable draw to him because he was weird. That’s why you bet your twenty bucks on him.

The other two at the counter began looking around to see why you were smiling and laughing like a maniac. When they spotted Jisung with someone who was obviously one of Kit’s friends, they turned back to you.

“Hang on, what’s happening?” Minho asked.

“Us and Hyunjin made a bet on who would pull a pornstar first,” Changbin clarified with a chuckle as he pulled one hand from his pocket and handed you a twenty himself between his forefinger and middle. “_____ made a brave choice and put her money on Jisung.”

“But it’s always the weird ones…” Kit sighed heavily, shaking her head like the loss of fourty bucks between her and her new husband was the worst thing to happen to her.

Changbin smirked and gently elbowed her, “You of all people should’ve known that.”

Now, the two men you had been having a conversation with were staring at you. Minho looked angry, and Felix just looked offended.

“Jisung?!” Minho demanded. “You picked that freak over me?!”

“Well clearly for good reason,” you laughed, gesturing over to Jisung who was still having a conversation with the blonde girl. “How many pornstars have you talked to besides these two and Hyun?”

“What’s going on?” Jeongin waltzed up with a drink in his hand, and Seungmin and Chan behind him with drinks of their own. “We saw Minho looks pissed.”

“Did you know about this bet?” Felix asked them.

“What bet?” Seungmin asked.

“The four chuckleheads made a bet on which one of us would pull a pornstar first, and the traitor didn’t choose any of us!” Minho exclaimed.

None of them seemed to care, and Chan was the one shrug and ask, “Who’d you choose.”

“The winner,” you grinned widely, pointing over at Jisung.

The small crowd turned their heads. That was when they started to care.

Well, except for Chan who just smiled and nodded and said, “Damn, good for him.”

“Jisung?!” Seungmin shouted, whipping back to you. “You picked that weirdo over your best friend?!”

“Hey!” Minho scowled.

“Clearly it was the right decision,” you shrugged. “Don’t be mad that I was right.”

“It’s not about being right, it’s that you didn’t have faith in us but you did in him,” Jeongin frowned, also clearly very butthurt about the situation.

“For good reason!” you insisted.

As the group began attacking you for your choice, Jisung suddenly walked up and let out a breathy, “Hey…”

Everyone looked at him. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide. But more perplexing, he had a napkin stuffed into the pocket of his unbuttoned suit jacket.

Chan reached over and plucked the flimsy paper out and saw that there was a number written down on it in red pen. He was grinning and giggling, but everyone else – other than you and the happy couple – seemed annoyed and began groaning and huffing.

With fearful eyes, he looked across the group at Kit, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do anything with her. I’m just a guy.”

“Truthfully, Aliyah is never like that,” Kit laughed. “She’s actually painfully shy unless she turns the persona on. She was really trying to impress you.”

“And for what!” Minho shouted, gesturing very sharply at the flustered boy.

“Porn stars are also very well aware that sex isn’t like in porn,” Changbin told him matter-of-factly with a chuckle. “We’re…still people, dude.”

“That’s not a person, that’s a goddess,” he said, pointing back to where Aliyah once stood but was now off giggling with some friends like a middle-schooler who just got asked out by her crush by her locker.

It was actually really cute.

“_____,” Changbin spoke up while the group was either trying to give Jisung a pep talk – that was mostly just Kit and Chan – or were complaining how it shouldn’t have been him, “Hyunjin still owes you money. I think he’s outside.”

He ended the statement with a wink and gestured for you to leave the group as he stepped aside to make room for you. You weren’t entirely sure what the wink was for, but you got up and slid between him and Kit to go outside, leaving your drink at the bar. Either it would get drunk by one of your friends, or it would be there when you returned. You didn’t care either way.

The outside back garden of the venue looked like something out of a fairytale. There were bushes that went up to your hip that were perfectly trimmed, and flower bushes scattered about. The bushes were spread out and separated between pathways with benches scattered throughout the garden. And in the center of it all was a beautiful fountain surrounded by four benches that were spaced out with a few feet in between them.

You found your boyfriend sitting on one of the benches by the fountain, but he was facing away from the fountain and the building, staring up at the night sky. Surprisingly, you could still see a decent amount of stars since the lighting was so warm and dim outside. Wordlessly, you went over and sat down beside him, the bottom of your dress hitting the ground. You were too tipsy at that point to care about it getting dirty, though.

“Wish I brought my pad now,” he mused quietly. “I didn’t think the sky would be so pretty. Watercolors would capture this pretty well.”

All you did was hum and nod in agreement, your eyes also on the stars.

You felt Hyunjin’s head turn, his gaze now on you. He studied your profile like he wanted it to burn into his memory – if it already wasn’t. 

“I was serious before,” he told you.

You turned to look back at him, “What?”

“When I said that would be us someday. And sooner rather than later.”

Once again, you scoffed and rolled your eyes playfully, “Yeah, babe, I know.”

“Oh, do you think I’m bluffing?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Do you really think my dramatic ass wouldn’t go out the morning after we first had sex to buy you a ring?”

That caught you off guard. Your eyes were locked on him again, searching for any hint of him kidding around or just saying that to get your attention. You wanted to call him crazy. What kind of incel would go out and get an engagement ring after one night of intimacy?

But you had to remember this was Hyunjin, and he was as dramatic as they come. But he always was sure of his decisions before he made them. And he was sure of you from the start.

However, this was a huge deal, and you had to call him on his bluff. He must’ve been exaggerating. Who the hell in their right mind would go out and buy a ring immediately after some probably-decent-at-best sex?

So your eyes narrowed, “Hwang Hyunjin, there’s no fucking way you did that.”

The look he gave you said, ‘Oh really?’ as he immediately leaned toward you and began digging in his right pocket. 

Oh god, was he serious? Did he actually have a ring? And he could see the panic replace the smugness on your face because his smirk only widened.

If he was serious, you couldn’t let this happen now. And maybe he was just fucking with you, but this wasn’t a chance you could take anymore.

“No, no, no!” you rushed to get the word out as you scrambled to reach over and grab his arm, stopping his actions. “It’s literally your best friends’ wedding! You can’t propose at a wedding! Stop it!”

With loud laughter, Hyunjin pulls his hand out of his pocket, pulling the inside of it out with his index and thumb. You could see there was nothing there, and Hyunjin had, in fact, played you. You did find it funny, but you scowled at him anyway. He could still see in your eyes how amusing it was, so he only laughed harder.

“I’d never do that. I’m not that dramatic that I’d take the spotlight like that,” he promised, still laughing. But then he stopped, leaning into you. “But, tomorrow is completely on limits.”

As he gave you a sweet smile and batted his eyelashes, you pushed his head away and rolled your eyes, “Yeah, okay, just give me my twenty bucks.”

His eyebrows raised as he sat back again, “Oh, Jisung won?”

You nodded.

He let out a deep sigh as he went into his other pocket where he was keeping his wallet, mumbling, “I really thought it was gonna be Felix…”

“No, you just have a crush on Felix,” you reminded him as he slid a twenty out and you snatched it up.

“But nothing compared to what I feel for you, my love,” he cooed, and you could tell he was trying to be overly-sweet, but also that he meant it. So when he puckered his lips, you sighed and gave him a chaste kiss. He hummed and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Oh!” you suddenly had a thought that you had wanted to bring up to Hyunjin. “Changbin’s sister told me I don’t need to babysit anymore because their parents want to bring them to the zoo tomorrow, so I’m free to, like, rot in bed or whatever you wanna do tomorrow.”

Word had gotten to Changbin’s older sister, who had a son, that you used to be a nanny and you had been a free agent. He got the two of you in contact, and she offered you a job. And she was a great boss with an easy kid to take care of, so you’d been working for her for the last almost year.

“Ugh, thank god,” he sighed as he leaned into you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “It would feel so awful to go home, celebrate our friends’ marriage, and then wake up to an empty bed.”

Your eyebrows raised as you looked down at him where he had his head rested on your shoulder, “Oh, you had plans tonight?”

He rolled his eyes, “Come on, _____. We both know I have plans for us almost every night.”

-

“Baby?” Hyunjin’s soft voice was breaking through your sleep as he gently shook your shoulder. “_____, my love.”

You got home at about 11:30. There was no after party since Kit and Changbin had a few friends who were either sober or had substance addictions, and the pair didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. So while you had expected for some sort of celebration to continue after the venue had shut down, you were a little relieved to know you could go home and go to sleep.

Despite Hyunjin’s words, he had rolled over and was seemingly out before you even got out of the bathroom after taking off your makeup. But you were fine with that. You had all day the next day to do whatever the two of you wanted anyway, so you laid down beside him and fell asleep.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed between then and now.

You hummed in response, rubbing your eyes.

“It’s 12:01,” he whispered in your ear, his breath fanning your hair. “It’s tomorrow.”

“Mm…so?” you asked groggily, trying to roll over with your eyes still closed. You were now on your back, arms sprawled out but legs still in the same curled-up position.

He chuckled, “Open your eyes.”

You blinked them open. You were pretty sure one actually opened before the other one like a lizard. And you had to blink a few times to focus on anything. But when you did, you shot straight up.

Hyunjin was sitting up in bed, facing you with a fond smile, and a small box held open with a dainty but absolutely sparkling and stunning ring in it.

“But, tomorrow is completely on limits.”

He really wasn’t bluffing.

“I could spend hours talking about how much I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I already do that every other night,” he laughed softly. His cheeks were flushed pink, and you were sure this was maybe the fifth time you’d seen Hyunjin flustered to any capacity. “So, for once, instead of doing all the dramatics, I want to keep it simple. Just like that first night. Simple, yet romantic.

“So, ______,” he was giggling, and you were giggling. And you were both leaning in closer and closer. “Will you marry me?”

Your heart was fluttering in your chest and you had that weird cold/hot feeling you got in your stomach when you were about to have an anxiety attack. But this time, it was a good feeling. It made your smile widen and your giggle go higher because you were just so excited and happy and every good feeling you could possibly have even if you felt like you might throw up.

And it was a good thing Hyunjin did this all sitting in bed because you were sure your legs would give out if he did this all traditionally.

You wanted to ramble out something like “a million times yes” or “i’d say yes in every universe” or something to really get the point across, but that felt too cheesy and insincere. But just “yes” felt like it wasn’t enough. So instead, you just sat there nodding furiously with a smile so wide you thought your face would split into two.

“Don’t know how to reply?” he guessed because he knew to this day you still overthought sometimes.

You nodded again.

But he knew you so well and knew you didn’t have to say anything. So he sealed it with a kiss so you didn’t have to worry about saying anything at all. When he pulled away, his forehead stayed on yours as he looked down and slid the ring on your finger.

He smiled, “Perfect fit.

“And speaking of perfect fits…” he chuckled evilly while he grabbed your waist and rolled you over so you were laying down again on your back and he was above you, “we never got to our plans after the wedding.”

Your eyebrows furrowed and your head cocked to the side as you looked up at him, “I don’t ge–... Hyunjin!” your cheeks heated as you got what he meant, and he just laughed.

“Good thing you’re not working tomorrow. Would hate to have Eunwoo ask why you’re walking funny.”

“Yeah, don’t get me fired from a second job,” you joked.

“I’m always more than willing to be the sole provider,” he reminded you with a playful grin as he nudged his nose against your jaw.

“Save your money, Hwang. We have a wedding to plan now,” you told him as he left soft kisses along your neck.

“Are you sure you don’t want to elope?”

“Really? You want to miss out on the one time you can be as big and dramatic and romantic as you want?” you laughed.

“Oh, we can still have a giant party. But I want to be married to you now,” he pulled away to grin down at you, his forehead resting against yours. “But if it’s what you want, I can wait.”

“I love you,” you told him sweetly.

“God, I never get sick of hearing that,” he chuckled as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. “I love you more. Can’t wait for you to be mine.”

“I’m always yours. Ring or no ring.”

“Now who’s the dramatic one?” he asked teasingly, his tongue poking out playfully between his teeth.

“What can I say, you’ve rubbed off on me.”

“Oh, I’ve done a lot more than that.”

“Hwang Hyunjin!”

[yooglefics]

The casual type: 03 . The past

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader  Wordcount: 2,993 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ?????. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Ep. 03 ) • Is finally time to talk about how you got here. And of course, you aren't the only one with a past. Warnings under read more.

Includes ( this episode ): There's flirting and progress is made. The squad is cute. Mentions of cheating in the past ( not from main characters ), bad relationship dynamics, fuckboy shenanigans ( say no to fuckboys ), and broken hearts. Author's note: I have a question for you guys: should I start adding the pet names in the warning? Because my thing is that Yoongi has been using them in context of what is happening, like in a banter kind of way, but… should that be a warning in itself? As always, hope you like this one, remember to leave a comment, reblog, send an ask, follow or whatnot. Thank you for reading <3

The motorcycle ride wasn't as scary as you thought it'd be. In fact, it was kind of calming. The streets were mostly empty and Yoongi drove at a decent speed, mainly of course, because you told him you'd kill him if he didn't. But it was nice, a good distraction and an interesting way to end a hectic night.

Monday morning comes around and your stomach hurts with anxiety at the thought of the inevitable. Is even worse than when you have to give a class presentation, at least in those cases your life isn't the subject. And your only hope to get you throughout the day is that everything would feel better after talking with the guys.

“Are you not finishing those?” Jungkook points at the fries on your plate after a while of sitting in the cafeteria. Your group has assigned this time as lunch hour since everyone is free while some of them wait for their next class.

“You can have them if you want.” Everyone's eyes turn to you as if a second head has grown, “I'm not hungry.”

“But… is fries?” Says the soccer player and to his credit, is true that turning down fries is a sign you may be sick, and honestly, it feels a little bit like you are and that's what finally makes you decide is time. 

“Let's talk. Outside.”

You can't bear the awkwardness. They tip-toeing around, putting too much thought on your actions. It can't go any longer, but you still take a few minutes to walk them outside the cafeteria and to the back of the building. Away from the protagonist of your story.

“Oh… hi.” Greets Yoongi, his arm mid air as he stops the action of putting a cigarette between his lips. “Walking all together like that, you guys do look like a gang,” he jokes after you and your friends say hello.

“Says the guy smoking,” Jimin’s answer, gaining some laughs.

“Sorry,” he really seems remorseful, “I'll go somewhere else.”

“Actually,” grabbing his forearm, you stop him from leaving. “Can you stay? I think I do need moral support.” 

On friday night he told you asking Mai to be there when talking about everything could be a good idea, and with a shake of your head against his back you answered you didn't want to bother her, already feeling bad about worrying her that night. So, he said he would do it. If you needed support he would be there as a payment for saving him at the club the night you met and that you only needed to ask.

Even so, it is surprising to you when he just nods and goes back to his position against the wall. You stay in front of him and your friends gather at your sides in a circle, ready to listen.

“Okay. Well,” you take a deep breath, “first you have to promise to not do anything. Not threatening, not breaking noses. Nothing. You promise?”

They do, with only a “But if it is really bad can I scream at them?” from Jungkook.

“No. I don't want more drama.”

And they nod once more, and again, you breathe.

“So, there's this guy, he is from the basketball team,” Hobi got that right, but it wasn’t surprising after you took a liking for going to the games and then stopped just as suddenly even if Jungkook was still part of the team. “We were talking for a couple months. You know, messaging and… just flirting I guess.” 

“You guess?” Taehyun asks to clarify.

“Yes? I… I don't know. Sometimes it would be more obvious than others and we would talk about what we wanted in a relationship as if we were talking about our relationship.” In the moment you thought it was obvious, you were flirting and planning the future; both of you mentioned wanting something beautiful and long lasting. But after everything, you wonder how truthful everything really was. “We even went on a few dates and on Valentine's he got me a necklace and a cute cart saying how much I meant to him.”

“And you didn't tell me?” Jimin argues. The only one that says something even when all your friends at surprised at that. 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to, I swear, but I also wanted to enjoy it just myself for a little bit.”

“And what happened? Why did it end?” Tae wonders impatiently.

“Well,” the phantom pain from that day is back on your chest, “sometime at the beginning of April he canceled a date and because I already had told you guys I was staying on campus to study, I ended up going to the movies by myself and…” 

“He was there?” You nod. “With… someone… else?” 

All your friends react at Tae's guess and you only nod again. Your eyes are fixed on Yoongi, on the half burnt cigarette still in his hand that is now off, to avoid looking at them and the sadness on their faces. You can't handle that. Even when you tell yourself you're over everything, finally telling them about it and knowing how it makes them feel revives how you hurt back then. In a certain way, it gives you the validation you didn't have at the time, and that you didn't know you needed.

Is healing, and you wish a little bit you had told them sooner.

“I bumped into her and at first I didn't see him.” You continue narrating, “Her drink spilled and I was helping dry her hand when I noticed the little smiley on her bracelet and it was the same as mine.”

There are reactions all around the circle once more, Yoongi's “how original” comment makes your lips curve slightly. And it’s surprising, but you’re glad to be able to find the fun in it now.

“I didn't think anything about it, you know, just like, cool, we have the same cute pendant, but then I heard his voice and well… It wasn't cute anymore.”

You remember how shocked you were in the moment and his face as he realized it was you in front of them.

“What did you do?” asks Hobi.

“At least tell us you spilled the drink on him next.” Adds Jungkook.

“I didn't do anything,” and there's a part of you that regrets it. “I was so surprised and confused. I thought that maybe I'd made it all up in my head, that maybe he didn't mean the things he said like that. Because there was no way he could just turn around and be official with another girl by next monday, right?” You pause for a second to take some air, trying to calm down since the tears would be threatening to fall anytime soon. “But he did. And when I texted him and asked to meet up to talk, he replied with just a «thanks for these few months».” A dry laugh leaves your throat, every time you think about that text you find it stupider. “And just like that it was over. And I felt so dumb for letting it happen.”

“Don't say that. Is not on you,” says Hobi immediately.

“He played you. He is an asshole.” Jungkook continues, “C'mon here, so I don't run back in and punch his stupid face,” he says bringing you into a hug. 

“So,” Yoongi starts after a few minutes of sitting in silence on the bench outside the cafeteria. Your appetite has come back and your friends are busy with their next class, one you don't share even with the ones in your major since you have stuck to an all-morning schedule, so you're left to share a bag of chips with him. “Can I ask something?”

“Can I refuse to answer?”

“I hope you don't,” that makes you laugh, “because I'm really curious now.”

“Okay, shoot.” 

“What happened seems like the perfect reason to avoid casual things, but that's not what I got from our date.”

“That's not a question, Yoongi,” you remark playfully when he doesn't continue, turning to him, bending your leg on the bench. “You want to know why I didn't run the moment you told me you didn't want a relationship?”

“Yes,” he nods, “that's what I meant. What I want to know.”

“Well, because you were honest about it.” Is as simple as that, but he still looks unsure. “I’m pretty sure that Chr– that guy,” remembering Yoongi is trying for the team you decide is best to not give out names to him either, “wasn't looking for something serious when we were talking, but he played into it because I said I was. He built my hopes up of something more and in the end he kind of just admitted that I was someone he was just spending time with. He didn't want something serious with me but he wasn't honest about it.”

“Would you have had something with him if he had been honest? If he asked to be friends with benefits or whatever?”

You chew a chip while thinking, taking some time.

“I don't know,” is your final answer, “I know it hasn't even been a year, but I was different back then, had other expectations and such. But what I'm sure of is that I'd have loved to be able to decide for myself, you know?”

“Of course. Is different when you are the one deciding to put your heart at potential risk.” he steals a chip from your bag, and silence falls once again.

So far Yoongi has proven to be a good person to talk to and to just be around in general, maybe Mai and Hobi were right about you guys being similar and setting up the date last week. Thinking about that and the phrase he just said reminds you of something and is your turn to wonder.

“Did she break your heart?”

“Who?”

“The redhead from the club.”

His expression changes a little bit, but you're getting better at noticing, so you catch it. “Thought you had forgotten about that.”

“Almost did, but you know, I'm curious too.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back,” you complete the idiom, smiling proudly.

“Touché.”

“I'm a smart cat, what can I say.”

That gets you a smile from Yoongi and he changes position, reclining his back against the bench and looking straight ahead he commences. “We met at the beginning of university, had a few classes together and started hanging out, became friends, and then started dating at the start of our second semester. Everything was easy and calm, the change from friends to more didn't even register to me, I… I don't know if it makes sense.”

“Sounds lovely,” you point out.

“It was. I thought it was perfect. And perhaps it was for a while, but after dating for about nine months something changed.” A little wrinkle appears on his forehead as he thinks, “I couldn't point it out and sometimes it felt like it was all in my head. And that made me more nervous because I didn't want to self-sabotage, you know.” You nod, fully facing his side now, sitting indian style and bag of chips on your lap. Paying attention as he did before for you.

“She wasn't big on PDA and I respected that, but when I told Mai we were together and she got mad I kind of realized that we had been secretly dating for almost a year. None of hers, and ours, closest friends knew about us and it felt… it hurt.” He pauses for a moment, bringing his hands to his jacket’s pockets. “So, I wanted to talk to her about it. To try and find a solution, to tell her I was sorry for telling Mai but I wanted to talk to my best friend about my girlfriend and how much I…” another pause, breathing in. “But when I went to her dorm, it was Jay who opened the door.” 

You gasp unintentionally, covering your mouth right away. “Where they…?” You don't know what to say. And you don't really need to say anything, everything is pretty clear.

“Turns out they had been together for about three months at that point.”

You gasp again, shocked.

“In and out, kitten, don't die.” He manages to joke and that makes you feel worse about your response.

“Sorry. Is just…”

“A lot?”

“Yeah. And… crazy. How could she cheat on you? I mean, in general, I don't get why people do it, but… on you?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He chuckles a bit.

“I mean because your relationship sounded lovely. Dating your friend? That's the goal, isn't it?” You correct, “But also, yes. You're good looking and your kissing game is not bad.” 

“You're not bad yourself.”

Looking at each other, you both laugh. 

“I'm sorry that happened to you,” you offer sincerely on a more serious note, “you know it is not on you, right?”

“I know,” he sighs, Mai had made sure to repeat it to him countless times back when everything happened and the couple months after until he truly believed it, “thank you.”

“And I know is scary and I'm not one to say it but… don't let what happened make you run away from the opportunity of something great.”

Yoongi smiles softly without really reaching his eyes and you completely understand when instead of keeping the conversation serious, he asks “Are you flirting with me?”

“You turned me down, remember? I'm not doing that again,” you answer only half joking.

“C’mon, I told you why I did it”

“You were deciding for me.” He opens and closes his mouth, shaking his head and before he can apologize again, you clarify, “I'm just joking.”

“You're mean. But I forgive because you're cute.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Yes.” He answers without a beat.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

A pause, contemplating.

“You wish.”

He smirks, “I do.” 

And you do too. But your bravery from the other night is not here today and you wonder if it's because you're at the University campus or because all you have done today is talk about your bad luck in relationships and the fear of it all.

What if your friends see?

What if anyone else who knows them sees and tells them?

But what if it is the last chance you get to kiss Yoongi again?

Why are you overthinking it? Wasn't your plan to just go with the flow or whatever cheesy quote you chose?

“Was that too much?” Yoongi asks. The wind has blown a strain of hair into your face and he pulls it back in place behind your ear. “I don't have a problem being the one flirting, but if you really don't want me to do it again I'd completely stop. I promise.”

“Is not that,” you quickly answer. “I–I like it, is just…” some people walk out of the cafeteria, and you follow them with your gaze, is hard for him not to notice. 

“Come with me?” Standing up after him, you follow Yoongi across campus and behind the auditorium. He has only been here about a week, that's why you're surprised when he announced not a lot of people come here confidentiality.

“The ones still on campus are busy, either in normal classes or in extracurriculars.”

“You aren't on any extracurriculars?”

A shake of your head, “I live through Jungkook, that kid does everything.” 

Yoongi laughs. “That's why everyone knows him?”

“That and those Bambi's eyes,” you nod, laughing with him.

You are calmer now and guess that was Yoongi’s plan for bringing you here. So, when he doesn't say anything else, you decide to continue the other conversation.

“I guess that's why it’s kind of scary to flirt so openly with you. Especially now after finding out about the whole thing with Hobi and the basketball team,” you sigh.

“Do you think someone is going to tell him if they see us?”

“Probably?”

“So are you telling me to stop flirting?” 

“No.” You answer too fast and he smirks, making you feel a bit shy, but yet, you continue. “I’m just not sure how they'd take the whole «hey, I'm flirting and kissing this guy. Is nothing serious we are just messing around».”

“«Messing around»? Are you fifty?” Yoongi laughs.

“They are! When is about me they act like everything is so extreme,” you pout a little.

“Poor baby,” he mirrors your pout, hands on your shoulders rubbing them softly.

“And I'm scared they would make everything so dramatic, you know? Like, if we want to kiss or whatever without being so serious about it, then what’s the issue?”

“They worry about you and want to protect you. Don't blame them too much.”

“Don't be on their side,” you shove him a little, “I'm trying to kiss you.”

He laughs, “Sorry. I'm on your side.” Pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around your middle. 

“While we both are on the same page about what we want, it shouldn't be an issue. Don't you agree?”

“Totally.” 

“So,” you look up at him, “what do you want?”

“I want to kiss you.”

You blush at how direct he is. “Not what I meant.”

“Well, like I said, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. I don't think I'm ready to put myself at that emotional risk again yet. But I didn’t mind you kissing me, and wouldn't complain if you want to do it again,” he says honestly. “What about you?”

“Also not really looking for a serious relationship. I think I just want to explore life a little, whatever that means. I want to have fun and not get hurt.”

“I'll never hurt you.”

“I'll never hurt you, either,” you promise looking into chocolate eyes, getting on the tip of your toes to peck his lips, sealing it.

A/N: alright, this is officially a friends with benefits fic now, who is excited? asdfg Check this post for the calendar and pinterest board and more yapping that tumblr doesn't let me add here :/

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[solitasims4]

my sims 4 create-a-sim must haves + sim dump

hey y'all! after many requests, I released a YouTube video this afternoon covering my Sim-creating process & showcased some of my favorite CAS-related pieces of custom content and a few mods.

i also announced my very first sim dump! I made Sims inspired by actress Avantika Vandanapu & influencer Nara Smith, as well as one extra Sim named Hannah Steward. you can watch today's video here if you are interested & view the sims available for download here.

down below is a list of links to some of the must-haves shown in my video. hope you guys find this helpful, & thank you always for the support! ♡

skin details

gaia skinblend

misc details

little details

bare ; a skin tone pack (non-default)

default, non-default, additional maxis teeth

affection, an eyebrow collection

misc lip masks

cleavage overlay collection

skin detail dump (nose, lips, eyes)

pierced ears

skin detail kit

so creamy skin overlay

chin cleft

maxis match genetics set

sliders for eyes

dusty skinblend

[skin details] structure

accessories

dior purse

mia rings

piercing ultimate collection

3d eyelashes no. 2

3d lashes 1 || 2 || 3

3d lashes

diamond tennis bracelet

all natural nails

luisa earrings

leather tabby bag functional

alphabet necklace collection

westwood necklace

vintage coach bag

MISC. ACCESSORIES ultimate collection

domino glasses

saint necklace

joliepods (airpods max)

cake nails

designer thong accessory

joliebean's jewelry box

apple watch series 7

sliders

eye + head size slider

default chin slider

default eyebrow slider

default mouth slider

default nose slider

default foot slider

female waist and hip height slider

hip shape slider

chin slider

pouty lip slider

6 sliders for nose

forehead height slider

presets

sweet body

pack of presets

makeup

universal hair overlay

honey lip preset collection

eyeliner | n150

default & extra eye colors

serene shadow + liner

gold makeup set

bad boy genetics & presets

sculpt contour collection

nosey posey

euphoria eyes

the bronze palette

basic eyeliner set

GRANDE coffee collection

fox eyeshadow 02

eyeliner 299

GOLD Halloween vampire set

eyes g15

chanel eyeshadow

LIPSTICK ultimate collection

lipstick 02

amy lipstick

darkness demon eyes

dark hour makeup set

body vein collection

mae face contour

dark contour & highlight set

mp eyeliner n9

mods

custom traits v1.7

more traits in CAS

more columns in CAS

more traits

new traits pack (more traits)

more traits #3

CAS tuning - controlled position mod

[majestyjun]

# huening kai + miniskirts !!

tw. f!reader, perv!huening kai, fantasizing, unprotected, pussy drunk, semi public. nsfw + minors dni !!

a/n. it’s the finale! thank you for all the love n support the perv series has gotten, i really can’t express how much it has meant to read all the sweet reblogs, comments, and asks about this series <3 please enjoy~~ love, mille

taglist. @hyunimylove @alpha-mommy69

perv mini series masterlist

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“kai?” a concerned voice calls, soft and sweet as his senses come back to reality. blinking drowsily, he vaguely registers the worn material of his varsity jacket brushing against his cheek, dark, wavy bangs casting shadows over his eyes as his vision blearily focuses. an eye-level row of empty, wood topped desks, chairs tucked neatly under. large, open windows reveal the cloudy sky, overcast and a light gray. “kai? are you awake?” lifting his head from the crook of his arm, kai sleepily glances over, met with facing a soft, navy wool sweater vest. leaning over, hair framing your face as you gaze down, head slightly cocked at him in expectation. “oh— i’m awake,” he mumbles, “where’d everyone go?” “it’s lunch, kai,” you pout, having waited for him so patiently to wake up and losing half your break time, “did you really sleep through class?”

as much as you adored him, kai had a tendency to nap through classes, several abysmal grades marring his record. always behind on assignments, but not even the strictest teacher could resist his sheepish and cute apologies as he turned in work a month late, crumpled in the corners and clearly partially done by a certain someone. but regardless of academic prowess, his real reputation rested in the court, the star of the varsity hybe high basketball team. blessed with a large build and height, long arms easily allowing him to make basket after basket, raining two and three pointers every game. if anything, he best team player to possibly walk the earth with the unmatched positivity and sportsmanship. and yet here he was, lazily blinking away sleep as he attempted to figure out what had happened before his untimely nap. “couldn’t help it,” he yawns, long legs awkwardly stretching under the desk too short for him, “late night practice yesterday.” shaking your head in affectionate dismissal, you reach into your bag, pulling out a neatly packed lunch to share before tugging over a chair to his desk. as you hand over a pair of chopsticks, kai’s hand pauses over them, his gaze staring at the floor, freezing he lifted his head up from the desk.

and for a moment, all his other thoughts are overridden with one. pretty, plush thighs, the soft flesh squished against the seat and very poorly covered by your skirt, riding up your leg as you sat down. so, so short, the expanse of skin so enticing, supple and smooth, decorated with small blemishes. short shadowy overhang leaving little to imagination. if only a little higher… and he’d be able to see cute hem of your cute panties. something about your thighs feels so indecent but so alluring, and he can recall how perfectly they slide into his hands, almost wishing he could— “kai?” you ask, glancing down at the floor, “what is it? a bug?” “erm—nothing, um, let’s eat!” kai fumbles, shaking his head and ruffling his bangs before accepting the utensils, trying to clear his mind. a loop of flustered swears at himself for being so easily distracted; he really really really couldn’t afford to pop a boner here, no matter how much he liked the skirt… and your thighs. confused but smiling, you pop a strawberry into your lips, observing him. kai’s ears were bright red.

“did you want a drink?” you question, leaning to the side of your seat to reach your bag. and it’s almost game over— your skirt sliding to the side, exposing the backs of your thighs as you rummage in your bag in search of said drinks, cute cotton panties unintentionally flashing him. plush and soft, so sweet and delicately untouched, and before he can realize it, a sudden, loud snap jerks your head back up. it’s kai, wooden chopsticks messily broken in his hand as his face burns bright red, shifty as he immediately avoids your gaze, clumsily turning towards the window and kicking the desk leg in doing so, resulting in an uncomfortable groan of the old furniture. “are you sure you’re alright?” your warm hand places itself on his forehead, touching to make sure he wasn’t ill, a slight sheen of sweat meeting your fingers. “y-yeah, just a little—um, out of it.” he stammers, before awkwardly yanking off his varsity jacket, “oh—s-sorry about your chopsticks.” stifling a laugh, you gently pry open his hand, taking the broken pieces away before walking away to toss them in the trash. and kai doesn’t know what to do. why was he so obvious? why did he have to make such a fool of himself? and why, why, why were your thighs so pretty? thinking quickly, he shoves his jacket on your seat, hoping you’ll cover your legs without him saying it… because he can’t bring himself to ask you without looking again.

“pass!” squeaking of shoes on the court floor, sunlight streaking through the high windows and casting shadows of the overhang railing. sounds of shouts and calls, basketballs hitting the wooden floor as the team members run about, dribbling and passing fluidly. “kai!” burnt orange ball hitting his palms before roughly tossing into the basket, the swish of the net and shape whistle blowing signaling the end of the round. a sweaty palm pats kai’s back as he pushes back his wet bangs. “you’re still getting better,” yeonjun laughs, “we won’t be a match for you sometime soon.” “ya, there’s no way he can be this good,” beomgyu grumbles, flopping down on the floor with a huff, flapping his loose shirt in attempt to cool himself off, soobin joining him as he pants from fatigue. awkwardly smiling, kai lets out his signature giggle, watching as taehyun and yeonjun converse with the coach, clearing up skills to improve on.

as he sits down beside his exhausted teammates, his mind drifts back to today’s earlier events. you’d taken his jacket and covered his legs to his relief, but he really couldn’t keep the thought of your pretty skirt and legs out of his mind. like a nagging thought, it murmured at the back of his head, resulting in (only) one emergency bathroom visit where he was sure he was getting hard, but it was thankfully a false alarm. he really didn’t want to jerk off in a public bathroom… especially one with multiple stalls. … but then again, there was that time he’d had you in the locker room, but that wasn’t like jerking off alone— a sharp whistle blare calls his attention back to reality, tank top sticking uncomfortably to his back as he fumbles to come back to reality. practice first, then he could go home and think all he wanted. at least that was his plan.

“kai, your girlfriend’s here!” yeonjun shouts, voice echoing across the court. “keep it pg!” beomgyu laughs, easily catching the basketball kai throws at him as the latter races across the gym. “kai—!” you giggle as his arms tightly wrap around your body, oversized varsity jacket loose, “you’re so sweaty!” as always, kai was always more affectionate when he was fully awake and out of class. leaning into his hug, you wonder what could have brought on such a tight grip. it wasn’t as if you had spent hours away from him? “not done with practice yet,” he mumbles into your hair. he wasn’t about to admit it, but he really couldn’t bear to look at your legs, and he also felt a little bad about having such indecent thoughts about you all day. so squeezing you tighter, kai ignores the members laughs in the back at their sweet maknae. “that’s okay,” you reply, muffled slightly by his sweaty tank top, “i’ll be back later anyways.” seeming vine grip unrelenting, you pat his back, knowing he has to get back to practice. as he reluctantly letting go, you unzip the jacket, revealing your outfit from earlier. his varsity jacket had been long enough to hide your skirt, and now that it was unzipped, kai was hit with the same wave as earlier. he really liked your skirt. maybe too much. the long hem of his oversized jacket accentuating the short skirt, somehow making your legs look even more enticing. so when you lean up and press your lips to his in a sweet kiss, he can’t help it but lean into it, fingers instinctively playing with the hem of your skirt, wishing he was at home and not stuck at practice.

“k-kai?” you mumble, pulling away his lips, his large body pressed into yours. “is something wrong?” he asks, a split second before he realizes it. the tent in his shorts pressing to your tummy, your widening eyes falling to the hard sensation against your abdomen. he’d gotten hard faster than he’d ever gotten hard. “ah—! i-i’m so sorry, i d-didn’t mean to—“ kai gasps, stumbling backwards into the gym door as his cheeks flush bright red, clumsily attempting to cover his massive bulge. “it’s okay,” you giggle, watching as he bumps his head into the wooden door in his fumble, “is this why you’ve been so odd all day?” stepping towards him, you smile sweetly as you palm his bulge, “always want you too, kai.” and that’s all it takes for kai to scoop you up, hand clumsily groping your plush thigh as he shoves open the door to the nearby storage closet, dark and filled with sports supplies.

nearly tossing you on a pile of boxes, he rushes to shove the door closed, barely clicking the lock in place before he’s kneeling in front of the stack, aggressively tugging your legs towards him. “w-wait, kai—hnng!” you whine as he yanks your panties down, sighing at your pretty, wet pussy glistening in the dark, only for him. licking a stripe up your folds, tongue pushing past and tasting your sensitive cunt, panting needily, hot breath heightening the wet, sloppy sensation. one hand tightening around your thigh, squishing the pillowy skin as his nose brushes against your clit, such lewd sounds of his messy addiction filling the hazy air as kai greedily licks up your slick, driven even further by your dazed moans. his head buried between your thighs, mini skirt only slightly obscuring his pretty features as you cling to the edge of the boxes, sweet heat spreading across your skin. and all kai can think of is how he’s wanted this all day, to hear your cute whines of arousal as he pleasures you, so addicted to your taste and soft, delicate pussy. “haah—kai!” you shakily whimper, eyes squeezing shut, unable to even bear such a lewd sight as your hands finding his wavy hair, tugging him closer as the pressure builds in your abdomen. “nnngh, w-want more,” kai moans, uneven breaths as he licks your clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub and coating it in saliva before sucking on your bud, burning heat flaring in your stomach at the sensation. “ah, kai—so c-close—!” you wail, thighs clenching around his head as your orgasm crashes down, juices soaking his pretty lips as you tug him even closer, so addicted to his pussy drunk state. and it feels so lusciously depraved when kai licks up your cum, swallowing as he groans so prettily, so deep in heaven, buried between your plush thighs, tasting your release and scent so heavy of sex, your miniskirt brushing against his bangs.

and he’s so painfully hard, kai’s bulge so prominent he thinks he might cum in a second. your hands finding his jaw and tugging him to stand between your legs, pressing your lips to his, coated in your juices in messy kisses, hot breaths before diving back in, so wet with saliva and your essence, he’s lost in your touch. needy whimpers, forgotten shame as your legs hook around his waist, his hard length pressed to your soaked folds. your small hands reaching down for his shorts, shoving them down with little care as he tugs you closer, fingers squeezing the plush of your ass. how depraved you feel to yank down his boxers, his moans lost against your lips as your nails scratch against his thigh, precum dripping on your pretty fingers. and in a second, kai sheathes his cock in your tight cunt with a grunting pant, tip of his thick length rubbing your sweet spot. your ass scrapes against the edge of the box, kai nearly holding you up in his firm grip, shoving your back against the boxes as your arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer, only a breath apart. “nngh— s-so tight ‘n pretty, r-really like,” kai mumbles against your lips, so lost in arousal as your wet lips lock, swallowing your cries at the stretch as he thrusts carelessly into your soft folds, so enraptured in the immense pleasure.

your cute hands finding the bulge in your tummy, pressing down to feel his veiny cock rub against your walls, added pressure nearly causing kai to lose his uneven rhythm as he moans uncontrollably into your lips, wet tongues touching, your whimpers his oxygen. “haah— so w-warm-“ kai pants, so aroused as your cute mini skirt brushes against his abdomen, your hand adding pressure to the already tight stretch, lewd whimpers filling his ears. “—k-kai, f-faster!” you wail, so close to your orgasm, burning stretch at his massive cock, veins rubbing your sensitive wall with every thrust, so tight, so big, so careless. tears pricking at your shut eyes, clinging to his body as your pussy clenched down, orgasm slamming into your body as you sob into his sweaty tank top, so wrecked and ruined from his reckless, rough thrusts. and all it takes is for kai to look down for a moment, seeing your pretty thighs split apart as your tiny cunt takes him so well, mini skirt rumpled and brushing against the base of his cock, for his cum to flood your pussy. “mmsph— t-too much!” your cute cries falling deaf to his ears as kai roughly presses his cock as deep as he can, so, so much of his hot seed filling up your tummy, milking his dick of every drop as you cling to his broad frame, weakly whimpering at such a full sensation.

“nngh—my pretty so full,” kai pants, his hand running over your tummy, soft skin between the bulge of his cock, other hand squeezing the swell of your thighs as he presses his sweaty forehead to yours, breaths hot against each others lips. “k-kai, c-can’t move yet,” you mumble, feeling so weak as he lifts you back up on the boxes, swollen folds dripping cum as he pulls out with a shaky groan, cock coated in your mixed release, air so heavy with the scent of sex. resting his hands on thighs, squeezing the plush as he watches his white seed leak from your tiny pussy, on the hem of your cute skirt. and kai wants more. with a gasp, he needily tugs you off the boxes, so recklessly shoving your chest against another stack, cute ass exposed to him, skirt barely covering the sweet swell. “kai—? hnng–!” you whimper, only for his hard cock to press against your ass, his hot, sweaty chest pressed to your back, so broad and heavy as he whispers in your ear, desperation giving way to need. “wanna have more,” a barely conscious moment before his dick is pushing into your tight folds again, so intent on staining your skirt in his cum.

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it wouldn’t be something mille writes for kai unless he was such a needy perv lollll

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

♡ chronicle #4 : welcome back ♡

wc : 5338

somehow, you've gotten used to living without your dragon man.

it shouldn't have been that hard to began with, you reason. since you'd only been living with him for a couple of weeks. you'd spent your whole life without this rude, bratty, infuriatingly handsome dragon guy. it really shouldn't have been hard.

you wake up to get ready for work feeling more tired than usual. this had been the case for the last two weeks now. you're lost at work, you've been really close to coming late more than once. you're coworker sachi has also asked if you were sick at least 5 times in one week, so you assume you don't exactly look your best right now.

you grab some leftovers from the fridge, hastily throwing them in the microwave to check up on your coffee. when you're done eating with the only background noise being the tv playing some game show reruns, you put your plate in the sink and remember a little too late that no one's there to clean them up for you anymore. you feel stupid, staring at the dishes like they'll suddenly wash themselves.

you'll wash them when you get back.

work goes by in a blur. you hardly remember what you did, who you'd talked to or what you had for lunch. the trip back home feels unfamiliar, like someone else was controlling your body for you. you don't mind as long as you can go home and sleep.

when you walk through your door, you check your couch reflexively, even though you've reminded yourself multiple times no one would be waiting there for you. the tv's turned off like it was when you'd left, there's nothing cooking on the stove, and there's no one on your couch.

despite reminding yourself.

you really need some sleep.

you order take out and eat while watching your favorite show for the 5000th time. it feels boring instead of comforting like it usually is, so you end up skipping a bunch of episodes straight to your favorite.

sometimes, you feel like it was all one big dream. falling in love with a dragon only for him to leave you seemed like something you could really only see in your own fantasy. but you know it isn't, because if it were you'd be able to forget about it. about him. but you can't.

it isn't painful, it doesn't feel like your heart is about to burst. it just feels so lonely. you feel like a part of you is missing, like a piece of your heart was filled to the brim with warmth only for that part to be taken away from you and leaving you cold and hollow. you don't like feeling like this. you shouldn't feel like this over someone you'd technically just met.

but it wasn't like that with him, it didn't feel like you'd just met. despite only living with him for a few weeks, you felt like you'd known him all your life. it was like you were catching up with an old friend the more you spoke to him. everything in you felt good with him. everything felt so right with him.

before you know it there are tears clouding your vision, you will yourself not to let them overflow. you hadn't cried since the day he left, you'd been distracting yourself with work not to. your favorite part of the episode comes up yet all you can do is focus on not bursting into tears. you can't go to bed feeling like shit since you've got work tomorrow. you decide to head to bed early tonight.

you'd like to think you can fool yourself into believing you've gotten used to living without katsuki. but unfortunately, you have to admit you aren't that good at lying to yourself when the first teardrop hits your pillow.

katsuki feels incredibly wrong.

it's way past the time he's usually asleep, but despite tossing and turning he can't keep his eyes shut because every time he does he sees you.

you, with your stupid bright smile. you with your stupid puffed out cheeks and pout when you'd caught him nabbing your food too late. you with your bright eyes when you come back from work to see he's made your favorite.

and you, with your glossy wet eyes when he told you he was leaving.

he really needs some fuckin' sleep.

for the last two weeks, he's been telling himself that this was better for you—for you both. he knows he could never truly be good for you. no matter how well he'd learn to cook your favorite meal. no matter how many movies and tv shows you watch together. no matter how good it feels to be with you, you'll always be a human and he, a dragon.

you're different beings made for different lives. he wasn't raised for battle, but it is a primary part of the dragon code, especially in his faction. survival of the fittest and whatnot. you were made for office jobs and midnight take out and romance movies, not for anything he was.

his friends were more than happy to see he'd finally come back home. they had basically choke-slammed him to the ground to hug him, and he can't deny he felt really a little bit happy to see them again.

he'd expected his mom to nag his ear off like she usually does but he was more than shocked to feel her wrap her arms around him tightly. she had told him she was happy to see he hadn't caused any trouble for himself and he could hear the quiver in her voice and feel the slight shakiness in her tightly strung limbs. he hadn't said anything and simply quietly held her back. his father had joined the group hug soon after and katsuki closed his eyes, indulging in the warmth of his parents' love.

this is good. this feels nice. this is where he's supposed to be.

it felt nice at the time, he recalls. but it didn't feel right.

for the last two weeks, he's been trying to tell himself that despite how much he aches, how much he yearns for you, you aren't made for him.

unfortunately, besides admitedly being a horrible liar, katsuki will forever be a selfish dragon. he only focuses on what he wants, and he wants you more than anything. he needs you more than anything.

" fuck this.." he mutters, throwing and arm over his eyes. he starts absentmindedly rubbing at his hair, like you used to. but it doesn't feel as comforting, so he huffs again.

he'd been told he unfortunately couldn't do anything about the tournament, but on a better note the guy he faced off again would be disqualified from participating since he did end up getting something from a witch, like katsuki thought. kirishima had wrapped an arm around his shoulder and told him it was a good thing. but to be honest, katsuki had almost fully forgotten about that shitty tournament. his father told him there would always be a next one. the next one in ten years. the thought of not seeing you in that time crosses his mind at makes him feel like he swallowed something sour. there's a bitter taste in his mouth at the thought but he can do nothing but try to ignore it.

just as he's about to turn to the other side of his bed a knock his door startles him. his mom walks in shortly after, opening the door halfway before walking in when she sees him awake.

" i didn't say you could come in." he grumbles half heartedly, sleep riddled voice slightly groggy. mitsuki simply sits on his bed near him, patting at his leg over the covers.

"m'not allowed to check up on my runaway son ? don't want you to leave again." she jests. katsuki knows she's joking, but he still feels a pang of guilt in his chest. he grumbles something unintelligible in response.

no words are exchanged for a moment, then mitsuki pats her son's leg a little harder, he snarls at her but she simply smiles at him.

"what do you say we go get some air ?"

the night air feels good.

soaring through the sky feels comforting. feeling the way the wind rushes through his scales feels almost therapeutic to him. it can be thrilling to soar through the air the same way it can also be calming. it provides him serenity he can't quite put into words.

katsuki finds himself wishing he could fly like this with you like when he brought you back home from work. he remembers how you'd screamed your lungs out, clutched onto him so tightly and when you'd landed back home with wobbly legs and messy..everything, you'd proclaimed it was the first and last time you'd ever go for a dragon ride. he remembers how hard he laughed and he chuffs to himself unconsciously at the memory.

flying around when he was irritated or stressed wasn't uncommon for him but he only remembers a handful of times he'd went flying with his mother. other than the times he was younger and still learning how to get the hang of it. he has to admit that that feels good, too.

they decide to rest on a nearby mountain they saw in the horizon. as soon as they land katsuki changes back into his human form, stretching as he let's out a yawn. the only remaining traces of his dragon form being his red horns and scaley tail accompanied by large red wings. he hears his mom flap her wings behind him as she also let's out a little yawn of her own. she sits down onto the gravely bottom and katsuki raises a brow before taking a spot next to her.

it's quiet as they both silently stare at the moon. it's a little chilly out but katsuki doesn't mind much.

"so," mitsuki sighs, taking a large gulp of the fresh air " you gonna tell me what happened when you went on your little expedition?" she bumps her shoulder with his playfully, katsuki growls but doesn't snap back like he usually would.

he simply shrugs "it wasn't an expedition." he gulps, it feels like a knot grows in his throat. "it wasn't anything." he doesn't notice the way his hands are tightened into fists, but his mother does.

"that so ?" she utters. she speaks in a nurturing way. that soft tone that only a mother could use for her child. it upset him even more as the knot in his throat tightens.

"i.." katsuki starts "i was around a lot of humans.." he admits. his mother hums in response, urging him to continue. "saw a lot of things, tried a lot of human stuff."

"human stuff ?"

"human foods and desserts and stuff. and movies. they're people moving around acting inside a big box that they call a tv." he tries his best to explain it in the simplest way considering it took him a while to grasp the concept of electronics himself. he can tell his mother doesn't really understand, but he's thankful she simply nods and let's him continue.

"it wasn't too bad." he concedes. " i didn't wanna kill too many of them." he jokes, his mother chuckles in response.

"anything else happen ?" she asks with a smile. katsuki can already tell shes's onto him. screw this mother's intuition shit.

he opens and closes his mouth a few times, nothing he wants to say seems to come out right.

"ma.." he starts, she hums " when you--how did it feel for you when you fell in love with pops ?"

her eyes widen at his question. she sits and thinks about it for a minute, then a smile grows on her face. " it's not something i can really explain. i just knew it when i saw him, i knew he was meant to be mine."

"even though he's a human..?" he mumbles quietly. his mother doesn't seem fazed, her dazed smile remains.

"yeah." she answers simply.

"it didn't bother you ?"

"nope." she immediatly answers, popping the p.

"it wasn't weird ?"

" it took a little gettin' used to." she hums "we're completely different after all. his family wasn't exactly on board with it. but they didn't say anythin' when i showed 'em my dragon form, i think they were just really amazed." she laughs at her own joke and katsuki fights an eyeroll.

"how'd you do it then ? how'd you..get used to it ?" he asks almost urgently.

her smile hasn't faltered since the beginning of the conversation. it seems to have gotten even wider and even brighter. " i didn't do anything. i loved your father, i still do." she sighs dreamily " when i was around him i didn't worry about anything. i didn't worry about what others thought to begin with, but i didn't worry about that. i wasn't scared of the future or anything."

"there was nothing for me to be worried about when i was around him. it always just felt like things would work out. we made each other happy, and when i was around him it all felt so.." she can't seem to find the right word to use but katsuki finds one for her immediatly.

"right ?" he finishes.

"yeah" she smiles, eyes softening as she looks at her son "yeah, it felt really right."

for the last two weeks, katsuki's been trying to deceive himself. by now he knows it isn't working. at all. he'd been trying to keep his mind quiet. he's been spending time with his friends and it's been nice. but there's clearly something missing. something he knows that his parents or his friends can fill, despite them caring so much for him. and he feels bad because he cares, he really does. but there's something he needs.

you're the one he needs.

"i think.." katsuki jumps a little when his mom speaks up again "i think there's somewhere you need to be, isn't there ?" she asks, though that knowing look she gives him clearly says she already knows the answer.

katsuki bites his lip, looking down towards the ground below. he can't see the bottom.

"i'm scared, ma.." he admits, meekly. mitsuki's heart squeezes at her little boy's heart showing in his eyes, scared of the unknown despite trying his best to convince himself he isn't.

his mother places her hand ontop of his and squeezes " i know, i know you are.." she comforts.

"w-what if it's too late and i messed shit up ?" she shakes her head, shushing him.

"you didn't, i know you didn't." she speaks carefully "if that person is the right one for you, then there's absolutely no way you have." she pulls him into a hug and he hugs her back tightly. no more words are exchanged as katsuki and his mother sit there. she pulls away and presses her forehead to his.

"you get goin' now, okay ?" she feels him nod after a moment and her smiles grows wider. she ruffles her son's hair and he grumbles, pushing at her arm and he fights off a smile.

he's sure, he knows what he needs to do now.

he gets up with vigor and stretches out his limbs and his wings as they flex and expand on his back. before he takes off though, he hears his mom call for him. he turns to look at her proud smiling face.

"you'd better come and visit !" she grinned, sharp fangs on display. katsuki smiles back at that, sharp grin rivaling hers.

" obviously !" he affirms, before taking off.

you wake up like you'd had the best sleep in your life. probably because you cried yourself to sleep.

you're awake an hour earlier than you usually are and you can't seem to get back to sleep. so bitterly, you decide to just get up and start your day an hour early.

you're definitely not getting ready for work at this hour, so your hello- kitty jammies are staying on. you remember you have a half eaten tub of vanilla-caramel-brownie ice cream in the freezer and it makes you a little happier. you walk over to your fridge with a little skip in your step.

when you sit down on your couch and turn your tv on you can already see the sun rising from your balcony. and it makes you dread having to go to work in an hour and a few minutes, you do your best to ignore it and watch a rerun of some old drama tv show you found.

you take your first bite and hum to yourself happily. the ice cream melts on your tongue and the flavours burst onto your tastes buds. if you could you'd eat ice cream every single day.

but katsuki would scold you for it.

it feels a little harder to swallow down your next bite.

the female and male lead on the show are arguing about something. the man says he only has eyes for the lady. he says that it's always been her, that if he were reborn in another life, in another country, he would still always find his way back to her.

you quietly keep watching, taking smaller and smaller scoops of ice cream. the lady is doubtful, she asks the male how she knows he won't break her heart. he responds that she only needs to trust him, that she needs trust herself.

"what is your heart telling you right now ?" he asks.

"it's telling me.." there's a dramatic pause " that i love you..!" she declares.

the two share a hug and an old ending song plays, you can hear an audience clapping like you sometimes do in old sitcoms. you really wish you could go back to sleep when you check your phone and see that only twenty minutes have passed. you wonder if you can call in sick as you play around with your ice cream, but you draw the line at that. that'd be too childish and you're too grown to be faking sick just because you got your heart broken.

you switch through a couple of channels before you land on an animal documentary. it's about red panda's and red panda's are adorable, so you shuffle on your couch to get comfortable and scoop up another big bite of ice cream.

the moment you bring your spoon to your lips though, you suddenly feel a big gust of wind. accompanied by a loud crash. and a giant hole through your fucking wall.

your spoon stays frozen against your lips, it's cold but you can barely feel it. slowly, you turn to look at something coming out of the cloud of smoke caused by the debris.

or no, it's a someone. you can see them stand up straighter as huge wings stretch on their back along with huge pointy horns and—actually maybe it is a something after all.

except you squint and you realise that it isn't a something.

it's katsuki.

it's katsuki and he's looking at you, bright red eyes focused solely on yours. he's here, he's here with you.

and he's once again blasted a hole through your wall.

you almost want to laugh, but you're afraid if you do you'll start crying. so you simply stare at him. he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth

“hi..” he exhales.

he’s heaving, taking in the force at which your wall was blasted into pieces one could assume it was probably because he was flying really fast, and he was. but this wasn’t really going all out for him. frankly, katsuki bakugou is heaving because he’s so incredibly nervous.

“h-hi..” you utter back, wide eyed. katsuki zones in on something on your face and furrows his brows.

“you’re eating that cold shit that early in the morning ? you’ll get sick.” he chides. this time you do laugh, because he’s so insanely ridiculous, how could you not.

“yeah well, no one was here to stop me so..” he knows the other meaning to your joke very well and his heart hurts at the sadness in your eyes when you fully realize he’s actually here.

“why did you—i thought you had to go home ?” you stutter. he takes a hesitant step towards your couch, towards you. his hand twitches, wanting to reach out to you, to touch you, but he holds back for now.

“yeah i did.” he nods “so here i am.”

your heart feels like it’s beating while being held down under a huge weight. you want to do so many things. you want to cry, ask him so many questions and kiss his mouth off but you can only bring yourself to ask “why ?”

katsuki frowns at the way your bottom lip wobbles and he immediately decides he can’t have that. he walks up to you and grabs your hand to pull you towards him, you stand up with a squeal as he pulls you into him. you’re ice cream long forgotten as neither of you notice the tub hitting the floor.

right now you’re only focused on him and he on you.

“i-i tried to tell myself that i didn’t need you at first, that it was better if i didn’t. we both know we’re—more than completely different,” he chuckles humorlessly. “tried telling myself that i didn’t need you because i didn’t need you my entire life, so why should meeting you, a human, change anything ?”

"but then—i don’t know, i realized that i’d spent so much time with you and your normal human life. with your weird habits and routines and your cheesy animal love stories. and then suddenly i just—" he stops himself mid rambling, he’s still heaving and he can’t seem to calm down. until you reach up and place your hand in his hair.

in seconds it’s feels like he can breathe again. your hands in his hair feel like taking a flight in the dead of night. your entire being is like the way it feels when the wind rushes through his scales.

he needs you, he needs you, he needs you, he needs you and he needs you so bad.

he plops his head against your shoulder and you hear the purring sound from when you’d first pet him in your office building. when you didn’t really know why you did, and that it just felt right to.

“suddenly i realized that i couldn’t be without you. i couldn’t see myself without you and your stupid smug face whenever you’re being a smart ass. without you and your weird taste in movies and your hands in my hair and your smile and—" he cuts himself off again. seemingly realizing he’d said too much. you don’t want to embarrass him too much too soon so you hold back the giggle bubbling up in your throat.

“i thought you liked my taste in movies.” you joke, playing with the hair on his nape. you feel him huff a chuckle against your shoulder.

“never said i didn’t like it. said it’s weird.”

“is there really a difference?” you snort.

“hell yeah there is,” he retorts “ya go from watchin’ that weird demon cat on your phone to watching the conjuring in the same breath.”

“ that just means i'm open to a lot of genres, it’s a good thing !” he snorts then grumbles some kind of agreement under his breath “and don’t you insult hello kitty like that ! she’s done nothing to be classified as a ‘demon cat’.”

“ it’s fuckin’ weird. why doesn’t it have a mouth ? and why are it’s black beady eyes starin’ into my fuckin’ soul ?”

“ quit calling her 'it' ? and she’s adorable !”

“she’s freaky is what she is.” you groan.

"you're insufferable. so incredibly annoying." you grumble in defeat. he lifts his head up to look at you then, his award winning cheese on display with a tiny fang poking out.

"yeah, maybe..but you missed me." he counters. you huff, but you really can't lie "yeah, yeah i did" you say. it comes out sadder than you'd wanted it to, and he seems to notice it. his eyebrows furrow and the remorseful look on his face makes your heart burn. your expression mirrors his as you speak.

"i really did miss you, katsuki. i really did." you whisper sorrowfully. you feel him wipe the tears you didn't even know where about to spill from the corner of your eyes. he grabs your cheeks in both of his large hands and wipes at your eyes, then rubs at your cheeks softly. his eyes burn with unspoken words and feelings and you don't need to hear him say anything to understand. you understand him better than anyone. human or dragon.

and that's all you need.

"i know." he leans in until you're inches away and your eyes flutter closed when he nuzzles his nose against your tenderly. he places his forehead against yours in a way you can only describe as loving. "i know." he whispers again.

"but i won't leave again. i promise." he vows, rubbing his nose against your cheek. the gesture feels very animal like and you giggle a little. he huffs against your cheek in amusement. "you're mine, you've always been. i know that—i'm sure of it now." he corrects "so i'm not goin' anywhere." he's so close. just like that night.

you want to let go, want to give yourself to him and trust him but there's something holding you back. katsuki can tell you're doubtful. he nudges his head against your softly, "talk to me." he urges.

"i just..i'm scared.." you admit "what if things don't work out ? i really, really like you katsuki." your voice trembles and your bottom lip wobbles the slightest bit "i don't want you to go away again.." he shakes his head adamntly, his hair tickles against your forehead. he breathes a sigh and pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes properly.

"i don't know how the future will turn out, or what's gonna happen." he knocks his forehead against yours again "but that doesn't scare me. mostly cus i'm not scared of anything," you roll your eyes but you can't help the chuckle that rips out of you. he smiles, obviously proud of his joke.

"but also because i know you're it for me. no matter what happens, i trust that i'll always come back to you." he seems to realize he's been awfully out of character. a cute blush grows on his face but that doesn't deter him in the slightest, as his eyes stay fixed on you. it makes chills run down your spine.

"you..were made for me. that's all i need." he closes his eyes, embarrasment catching up to him. you smile at how adorable your cranky dragon man could be when he wanted to be.

that's all he needs. you're all he needs. the thought fills your body with so much warmth and love.

you bring your hands up to his cheeks. he opens his eyes. looking down at you with half lidded eyes and so much affection it makes you giddy.

"what is your heart telling you right now ?"

you smile up at him, a watery giggle slips past your lips.

" i love you."

you trust yourself. you trust katsuki. you trust your love for him.

his eyes widen. and suddenly he's leaning down and all he gives you as a warning is a breathy whisper of your name. you don't think twice when you nod your head fervently and then he's closing the distance and kissing you.

in a second it's like you feel whole. it's like he breathes life into you with the kiss he presses onto your lips. and the next one, and the one after that.

he pulls back to catch his breath for no less than three seconds before he's stealing yours away again. but you don't mind in the slightest. you'd give all of yourself up willingly to him. you wish you could stay close with him, holding onto him like this forever.

but then there's a sudden sharp pain in your lip.

"ouch !" you yelp. katsuki immediatly pulls back, eyes racking over your face until he notices red on your lip. you lick at your bottom lip and taste blood. you look up at him, a mix of amusement and suprise on your features. after a second, you let out a chuckle.

"guess you missed me lots, huh ?" you laugh some more when he growls at you. trying his best to seem somewhat intimidating despite the state he's in. he's breathing heavy and he's sweating a little bit, cheeks fully red.

"b-be quiet, human." he leans down and licks the blood off your lip. it flusters you despite him meaning it innocently, dragons are way more direct when it comes to physical affection, it seemed. "i'll roast you alive."

"no you won't, liar." you answer arrogantly. you bring your arms to rest around his neck, your hands play around with the hair on his nape. "you like me too much."

"you're gettin' real cocky, aren't ya ?"

"am i wrong ?" you counter. he narrows his eyes at your challenge but lowers his head in defeat soon after. he shakes his head with a chuckle. "no, guess you're not." he concedes.

"you guess ?" you tease.

"don't push your luck, loser." he nips at your nose, and you giggle. he snarls at you when you tug at his horn, but he can't hide the smile on his face.

"i—uh." he looks away, off to the side towards your tv "love. you. too..or whatever you humans say.." he confesses shyly. too much direct eye contact for one day, it seems. you giggle, then lean in and press a sweet kiss to his lips. it takes him a second before he eases into it. slowly, just as passionately as the first time, but you both know there's no rush to let each other know how you feel. you've got all the time in the world together.

"i'm glad.." you say once you pull away. "so, can i assume that means you're back now?" you joke.

"i told you i'm not goin' nowhere. you're mine." he asserts " i'm back." he states with a fanged grin.

you smile wider at his words. you're smiling so hard your cheeks start to hurt but you really don't mind "welcome back." you answer lovingly.

this feels right. this feels like where you both belong. he's back.

back where he belongs.

you pat his nape "to make yourself back at home, you can make me breakfast !" you chirp. "you owe me at least twenty five homemade dinners too, so you'd better get to work." you laugh out loud when he pokes at your side with one hand, with the one on your face squeezing your cheeks out.

"cheeky brat, already puttin' me to work, hah ?!" he grins "i guess i do owe you dinner though, but definitely not fuckin' twenty five of 'em !" you both laugh at each other some more and you wish all of your days with him here could feel like this. but even if they don't, you're not worried. as long as you're together, you know everything will be okay. you trust that with all your heart.

"katsuki ?" you start after a moment. he hums in response, urging you to continue while he nibbles and presses smooches on your shoulder. you smile, you're so incredibly happy.

"fix up my damn wall, would you ?"

and here it is yall, the final chapter ! thank you all sooooo much for the overwhelming amount of love for this silly lil series. i couldn't be happier that you guys liked this fic just as much as i did writing it ! and i hope this ending makes yall happy (cuz some of yall were losin it last chap LOLOLOL) take this super fluffy ending as an apology for that then !! much luvv <333

taglist ! : @sikuthealien @rosemarygalaxy @guccirosegold @queenpiranhadon @k0z3me @katsuisbaby @lovra974 @katsus-mistress @briokayama @sixxze @lupikekee @nymphsdomain @berryvioo @roboticsuccubus83 @yao-ai @haruesme @omayrac @raatass @touyasprettydoll

[olichat-reads]

Yall, I've barely drafted Mrow 3 & my taglist has exceeded an entire page i- 😃😃

[unproduciblesmackdown]

blade gunnblade !!!!!!!!

via eliza simpson:

There are no words for this true warrior. They kill me. MMM: went in for a post show hug. Me:"ow!" Asia: "oh sorry, that's my bullet necklace." 😳........ 😍

[capricornlevi]

Love Language (Words of Affirmation) - Nanami x Reader

Nanami is an eloquent man. Whether he’s describing his goals, his personal philosophies, or even just talking about how his day went, he always manages to perfectly translate his thoughts into words. His language isn’t overly flowery or ornate, either; it’s just succinct. Succinct and powerful. 

You think the reason why his words carry so much weight is that he is a deeply thoughtful and reserved person - when he says something, you know that he has put a great deal of consideration into it. He’s careful with how he carries himself in the world, and that approach extends into his use of words; he never says anything that he doesn’t mean. This makes it all the more powerful when you hear him say exactly how he feels. “I’m so lucky to have met you,” he told you out of the blue one evening, as the two of you were making your way back home from dinner. “So much so that I can’t look at you without thinking it.”

He tells you that he loves you quite often: in the notes that he leaves when he needs to head to work early, in soft whispers in your ear when you’re wrapped in his arms, and it’s the last thing he says to you before the two of you fall asleep at night.

Even when he doesn’t say the words “I love you” outright, he manages to express it in implicit ways, as well. You know that he loves you when he asks if you’re getting enough sleep, when he offers his praise on a project that you’re particularly proud of. You can see how much he cares for you every time he speaks genuinely and openly, and when tells you things that he’s never told anyone else.

As well as this, he understandably adores hearing you say that you love him, too. You can tell just how much he appreciates it from the look in his eyes and the way his lips quirk softly upwards every time those words leave your mouth. 

But even more than that, he never tires of hearing you say why you love him - not because of his ego, of course. He’s not looking for flattery, or for one-dimensional compliments on superficial things (though you have a few of those in mind, too).

He just needs to hear the reasons why you love him because he’s such a practical and grounded man, and listening to you describe the things that you love about him makes it feel more real ... like he can finally start to make sense of how he managed to get so inconceivably lucky. 

Ironically, some of the things you love about him are actually sources of self-doubt in his life - this is why it is so important for him to hear it out loud, because unbeknownst to him, his insecurities are often his greatest strengths.

For example, he often worries that he’s not setting a good enough example for the students that he mentors, but you disagree. As often as possible, you tell him that you truly appreciate his dedication to shaping the lives of those at Jujutsu High for the better. His determination to leave this world a little safer for future generations constantly impresses you, and it's important to you that he realise that.

Not only that, but you love how truly content he is with the little things in life. Sure, he often observes that the accumulation of little despairs is what makes someone an adult, but there’s a counterpart to that theory: he also believes that the little joys of day-to-day life are what make it worth living. He has his favourite bread, his favourite colours and types of music, his favourite ways to spend his days off - all of which combine together to make him your Nanami, and not the stoic, stern sorcerer that the world often sees when they look at him. 

He is often concerned that he doesn’t do enough for you, and that because of the demands of his job, he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve … but you know different. Life with Nanami is the very definition of quality over quantity, and you know that you’d happily choose a quick day-trip to the beach with him instead of a luxury holiday with anyone else. The fact that he conveys worry over such things shows you that he cares deeply. You think that it is an honour and a pleasure to get to spend the rest of your lives together, showing him exactly how valued and loved he is. 

He loves you and you love him, and that is more than enough. 

___

This work is the final part of a series: “Love Language”, a SFW Nanami drabble collection.

Part 1 (Physical Touch) can be found here. Part 2 (Quality Time) can be found here. Part 3 (Acts of Service) can be found here. Part 4 (Gift-Giving) can be found here.

This series is now complete, and has been cross-posted on AO3 here.

[eddies-house]

YOU POSTED CHAPTER 14 AND IM JUST SEEING IT NOW?!?!? OH BABY MY MONDAY JUST GOT BETTER

I POSTED IT LAST NIGHT!! YOURE BOOSTING MY HAPPY HOROMONES I HOPE YOU LOVE IT

[choism]

hi i dont know what ur going thru or if ull ever see this message but i just wanted to sayi enjoy ur writing and i hope u have a good day 🩷

Hi anon, ive been on an off tumblr the past few days for various things so ive been seeing you ask and thinking about how to respond, and now i think is the best time to. I am unfortunately going through a lot right now, and i dont have anyone to support me, at least nobody here for me on a constant basis. Opening this ask several times, rewriting how i want to respond and deleting it over and over is just me realizing how grateful i am for random people who dont even know me, such as yourself, looking out for me and saying they love my writing is nice and it cheers me up, and i really needed this so thank you very much for even considering to send this to me.

I needed this ask to be sent to me

[stsgluver]

just an fyi that I return to education in several days so I'm going to try and post one long-ish fic a week but sorry if I'm ever inactive xxx

[buggachat]

Part 206 of my bakery “enemies” au!

THE END!! I can't believe I finally completed this. When I first started this comic, I had no idea that it would end up being this long. A little over 3 years and over 200 parts, so around 2000 panels. (My folder that holds all my files relating to this comic is 3 GB with 2,017 items....). I honestly can't believe that I managed to stick around to the end of this. Thank you all so much for the support, I never imagined that so many people would care about this comic when I started it!

Of course, there are still some loose threads. The kwamis and Nathalie for example, but the core of this series has always been about the emotional conflict between Marinette and Adrien, and that has been resolved. I have some epilogue ideas to cover those loose ends, but this comic has already taken so much of my time and I'm not sure I want to promise that I'll get around to it. ... But who knows. Maybe!

For now, Adrien and Marinette will get some long-deserved rest.

First / Prev / All

Kofi

[meiieiri]

when do we get to see megumi in your new series ^3^

𝐛𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ! [toji fushiguro]

synopsis: “you really are your mother’s son,” toji grumbles to megumi as the little brat yet again refuses another kiss from him.

pairing: toji fushiguro x f!reader | art: @/amulin67 on twt/ig | hidden inventory: the lost tapes series masterlist

warnings: n/a | a/n: finally welcoming megumi to this series, yay! 💓💞

“I’m just gonna go nap for a bit. Promise me you’ll wake me up if something happens. But either way, his bottle is over there, just heat it up when he gets hungry and you know where his diapers are—“

You are interrupted by a sweet kiss that still manages to catch you off guard ‘till this day.

“I wasn’t done, you know.” You place your hands on your hips, shooting him a warning glance. “And don’t you go tossing him too high. Need I remind you, our apartment has a literal ceiling fan—“

“—You worry too much,” Toji cuts you off again with another kiss. “Not gonna lie though, seeing you all worked up like that is kinda turning me on.”

“You’re horrible,” you conclude. Honestly, at this point, almost anything and everything you do can be classified as a thirst trap for Toji. You blush when Toji inches closer, his hips pressed against yours, a smirk plastered on his face when he sneakily squeezes your ass causing you to yelp. “Ah! Toji!” you swat his hand away, burying your blushing face in his chest.

Chuckling at you, he plants a soft kiss on your temple as he pulls away. “Alright, mama, go get some rest. I’ll hold down the fort.”

“Thank you.”

No one ever told you that motherhood would be so stressful. Which is why you’re so blessed to have a supportive husband who may have started out a little awkward with caring for your newborn son but gradually became a natural with this whole fatherhood business as time went by. And that’s mostly because when Megumi arrived in this world at half past two in the afternoon of December 22 with nothing more but a small hiccup as he slipped into his papa’s waiting arms, Toji fell in love. And you don’t pretend to not know why. Because whenever you look at Megumi, your heart always just seems to melt at his pudgy rose-colored cheeks and his deep expressive green eyes that fill up with tears regardless if he’s crying or being overcome by a laughing fit whenever you pepper his tiny face with kisses.

Speaking of kisses, today’s latest fiasco is centered exactly on that: kisses.

You see, you have this habit that goes way back to when you and Toji first started dating. Toji remembers it well, you have certain moods when it comes to kisses. Sometimes, you’re the one initiating it which mostly results in Toji becoming an incoherent blushing mess, or most times, Toji gets the party started by slowly kissing up your neck, his breath hot on your earlobe as he presses his hips against yours while you slept fitfully, your hushed dulcet whines ringing in his ear as your lips instinctively find each other. Fun fact: that’s exactly how Megumi came to be.

But there are times too, when you were just not having it and you’d gently nudge Toji’s face away when he tries to kiss you.

It was a typical afternoon. Toji didn’t have work that day which was a huge relief for him because you’ve been suffering from dizziness and lower back pain all day. And being the helicopter partner and soon-to-be papa that he is, Toji keeps a close eye on you as you nap the afternoon away on the couch. He smiles softly as he sees you instinctively put a protective hand over your belly whenever you’d feel the slightest movements from the baby.

“Shhh, you’re alright,” he’d whisper to you as you slept, combing his fingers through your hair, a permanent worried frown on his face when a whimper falling from your pursed lips as the baby kicks you again. “It’s just the overgrown parasite fidgeting around.”

“Don’t call him that.” You brush his hand away, your eyebrows knitting in discomfort.

Toji chuckles, going to press a kiss to your soft lips only for you to place your entire palm on his face, applying gentle force to pry him away. “I mean, what is he then? Other than this thing that competes for your nutrients? He’s—“

“—Our baby boy.”

“—An overgrown parasite.”

Fuming at his words, you decide to hit back with a quick retort of your own. “Yeah? It really does take one to know one, huh?”

“What a cute comeback but maybe not as cute as you,” Toji smirks, his hand gently removing your smaller one from his face, his lips puckered up as he leans in. Teasingly, you place a hand over your lips, still refusing to indulge him with his much-craved kisses. “Come on, I just want one sloppy one~”

“No!” Your laughter-filled voice comes out muffled against your palm.

“Mm, yes,” Toji teases. “Yes. Come on, baby, just one.”

“You and I both know it’s never just one.”

Of course. Why else would you be in this situation if Toji knew how to spell the words: self and control? Still, it’s not like the two of you were complaining. After all, the bond you and Toji share is an unbreakable one that’s only been strengthened by time and the many trials you’ve survived together. And now, the arrival of the very product of your love is only a hair’s breath away. Toji rests his chin on top of your head, plopping down next to you and spooning you from behind. “Guilty as charged.”

And unfortunately, it seemed your son had inherited that troublesome quirk of yours and it’s beginning to break Toji’s infuriated heart because whenever he tries to give Megumi a kiss…

“Mmph—“

There it was.

Toji’s eyes shot open, grimacing as Megumi turns his head away, his eyes trained stubbornly on his dog plushie, and his chubby hands pushing his poor papa’s chin away with all the might a six-month-old like him could muster. And to top things off, he must be imagining things because newborns surely couldn’t scowl right? Their tiny little brains couldn’t possibly have enough electrical energy to charge a snow globe much less, learn how to hate certain people’s kisses.

“You little shit—“

Sure enough, the tiny little baby seems gravely unamused, his eyebrows are knitted, the corner of his lips curled into a disappointed frown as if to say: Go kiss someone else, you even bigger shit.

Toji mirrors the unfriendly scowl on his son’s face, noting how Megumi seems to be glaring at him. Oh, okay. The brat ain’t messing around, his eyes twitches but somehow, Toji is also a picture of a proud father. At least the little shit’s got spunk. And he wonders momentarily who he should blame for that.

Definitely not him, that’s for sure.

Toji doesn’t recall the last time he’s ever had the comforts of a peace like this one. Actually, this might just be the first time that Toji knew what that word meant: “peace”. A freedom from disturbance; tranquility, as per the Merriam Webster Dictionary. But Toji has a better definition for peace: you and Megumi.

But…

“I meant what I said to your mother though,” Toji engages in a one-way conversation with his son. He won’t recall any of this, but it didn’t hurt for Toji to be candid about his feelings every now and then especially when it came to this little one that came accidentally into your lives but brightened it up nonetheless. “The two of you would be better off — maybe even happier — with someone else.” He presses his thumb against Megumi’s cheek. “It’s what you two deserve.”

He’s been gone close to a whole day now and you were probably beginning to worry. Out of all the shitty things Toji has done, this, by far, has to be the shittiest. Standing outside a pachinko den, his back pressed against the wall, and his hand absentmindedly playing with the tokens he just bought. When he left the apartment that day, you knew that could very well be the last time you ever see him. Types like him aren’t keen on the whole picket fence idea of settling down.

“I’m heading out today.”

Your blood runs cold when Toji steps into the kitchen to inform you of his plans. You don’t even bother to look at him, your gaze simply settled on the positive pregnancy test on the table. The right thing to do was to stay, he should have held you in his arms and tell you that everything’s going to be okay not plant seeds of doubt in your mind by taking off and running away like a coward.

But for once, Toji was scared.

He had no business becoming a father when he’s lived in a dysfunctional household for majority of his life. What good would he even impart to his child? His pathetic existence has been a picture of disorder that was only recently resolved when you came into the picture. Well, if he were being completely honest, he still hasn’t figured things out quite as well yet. And as a father, that could be catastrophic for a child that required stability if nothing else.

Frowning, Toji leaves the pachinko den, chucking the tokens in the trash. It was far too early in the day to be hanging around shady places like these anyway. He wanders the streets for a good while, his hands buried in his jacket’s pockets as his mind swirls with thoughts about the all too terrifying future.

A pang of guilt strikes his heart and he wonders what you’re doing now. You must still be in the kitchen, your face buried in your hands as you try to think of something. You were probably assuming he wasn’t coming back. After all, you did say: “I don’t wanna pressure you into staying, Toji. You deserve to live your life the way you want it.”

A life without you? Sounds pretty miserable.

Toji must have been walking on autopilot because for some reason, he unknowingly finds himself in front of a bank. Mizuho Bank, Toji reads the sign, his eyes flicking over to one of the posters plastered on the window about opening a savings account.

He looks at the promotional material, transfixed at the picture of a family of four donning on those typical wide stupid grins in ads, the father is holding a hundred yen bill and is seen dropping it into a piggy bank that was filled with both cash and words like: health insurance, family vacation, utility bills, rent, tax, school, and…happiness.

…

…

…

Toji returns to the apartment at around eight in the evening after making a quick stop at the supermarket and the pharmacy. He finds you asleep on the couch, your cheeks stained with dry tears. He crouches on the edge of the couch, worriedly taking in your appearance. You’ve been crying. “Hey…hey, wake up,” he gently shakes you awake and your tired eyes flutter open. “Got you something.”

He holds out a shopping bag, chock full of fresh produce, and from the pharmacy, some camphor oil to relieve your symptoms and those folate supplements the attending pharmacist kept yapping about.

“You didn’t leave,” you said, bewildered. “I thought you—“

“—You thought wrong,” Toji says firmly. He pulls out something from his back pocket and you stare at him, perplexed.

“A bank passbook?” You open it to see that Toji had just made his first deposit amounting to fifty thousand yen earlier today. “You opened a savings account?”

Toji nods, looking a little proud of himself. “Yeah,” he tries to play it off with a shrug of his shoulders. “Every week, we’ll be depositing fifteen thousand yen in that thing. Ten thousand for your maternity needs, and five for the little brat’s schooling one day.”

Tears spring to your eyes upon realizing that Toji was here to stay. “You mean you’re—?” You are cut off by a warm kiss on your lips, and you place a hand over Toji’s chest, your fingertips gripping the fabric of his shirt as his lips move against yours. He pulls away after a while.

“Gonna spite the hell out of the Zenin clan and send my brat to the most expensive preschool in Tokyo? Yes, I am.”

Toji sighs, his thumb rubbing across Megumi’s chubby cheek. “But maybe — just maybe — hear me out and don’t you give me another glare.” Megumi’s not gonna remember any of this. After all, memories begin when the brain can fully register speech. But Toji felt the need to say this so, subconsciously, his son will understand just how much he’s done and he’s willing to do for the both of you.

“…Maybe I deserve the two of you too, you know.”

Megumi looks up at his father, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. Toji sticks his tongue out at the little one causing the latter to…hiccup? Nah, Toji was sure that was a giggle.

Smirking, Toji leans down to give his son a kiss, thinking he’s patched things up between them now only for Megumi to curl up again, his feet and hands resisting against Toji, his lip downturned in effort as he pushes him away yet again. Conceding, Toji grumbles, rubbing the spot where Megumi roughly pushed him away.

“You really are your mother’s son.”

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. depression, cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships

notes. 12k wc. we're so close to the finale <3 thanks so much for the continued support and for the patience you guys have with this series :')

series masterlist -> episode twelve

For better and worse. 

Weddings are funny things. Despite the strict adherence to ceremonial traditions, they didn’t guarantee a happily ever after. Exchanging vows and the signing of marriage certificates could become meaningless when a couple faces challenges that would drive them apart. Consider the high-profile divorces of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, or Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Divorce had become so common that it almost seemed inevitable for many couples, even the ones with the most fairytale-like relationships. No one was safe from the idea of a divorce. So, was having a wedding really that important? Would it really define the quality and longevity of a relationship?

Satoru might have been thinking bitterly about it, given that his own marriage wasn’t exactly a shining success. However, he was also being rational when he said that weddings weren’t necessary to prove your love for each other. Early in his marriage, he certainly wasn’t the best husband, but over time, he learned to genuinely become a good partner to his ex-wife. There was no specific time frame for loving someone. You could be together for weeks, months, or years, yet the depth of love you share might remain unchanged. This constancy can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on how deep your love was from the beginning.

Well… On the topic of marriages, Satoru had no good thing to say. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t participate in it. Weddings were still considered a special celebration for families and close friends, and He would be selfish not to share in such a beautiful event with his best friends. Besides, wasn’t it always expected that Suguru and Shoko would end up marrying each other? They were lucky—fortunate because their marriage was built on a foundation of genuine love. In contrast, Satoru’s marriage began out of convenience, which ultimately led to all the terrible things that followed.

As the best man, Satoru strode confidently alongside Suguru down the aisle, both adorned in princely tuxedos, drawing the eyes of the guests as they followed their procession. There were teasing remarks, smiles all around, and even a comment from one of the groom’s female cousins about how handsome they both looked. Despite the gentle commotion, Satoru understood why Suguru remained nervous as they reached the end of the aisle. He comfortingly stood by his side, offered a reassuring pat on the back, silently communicating to his best friend that everything would be alright.

“Don’t tell me you’ll back out now,” Satoru jested, whispering in Suguru’s ear as they observed the guests entering in accordance with the processional order.

Suguru, with his once long hair now neatly trimmed and slicked back, cleared his throat in an attempt to appear less anxious. “What if she gets cold feet?” 

Gojou couldn’t help but tease. “Shoko? You really think she’d have cold feet?” he chuckled. “She’d be the one dragging your ass back to this garden if you tried to run away.”

“Fair enough.” 

Just the night before, they had checked into the Hoshinoya Fuji to celebrate Suguru's last night of freedom. While there was drinking involved, one of the groomsmen insisted it wouldn’t be a proper bachelor’s party without some female company. So, inevitably, there were women in the hotel room, one of whom even gave Suguru a lap dance even though he showed no interest whatsoever. It was amusing to Satoru, considering his best friend used to be the biggest casanova, and now he was a committed and loyal man who, not only was terrified out of his wits on his wedding day, but was also afraid that the one woman he loved might run away from him.

Such genuine, pure love. 

As Satoru pondered, his gaze landed on Akemi, who was seated a couple of rows back among the other guests. She had just arrived, her hair tied elegantly in a low ponytail and her silky sage dress accentuating her womanly figure flawlessly. She was wearing the diamond Tiffany & Co. earrings he had gifted her, which made her stand out among the rest of the people in that garden. Their eyes also met at the perfect moment, her gaze sparkling upon seeing Satoru in his tuxedo. He offered her a smile, one that silently conveyed ‘I’ll be there with you later,’ and she immediately understood. 

How fortunate was Satoru to have her? Perhaps the reason for her late appearance was because she had been looking after Sachiro back home, fulfilling the duties that his ex-wife should have been doing. She was truly a mother who stepped up, especially during a time when both he and his son felt most abandoned.

And what about you? Who knew if you would even attend the wedding? You were meant to be Ieiri’s maid-of-honor, yet you were conspicuously absent. Perhaps you were still in Monaco, enjoying your time playing house with Toji, making a wedding like this seem insignificant to you. You would have informed Miwa in advance and picked up Sachiro if you had returned to Tokyo, right? Suguru also hadn’t mentioned anything about your arrival at the accommodation, hinting that someone else would have to step in as Shoko's maid-of-honor.

But who would it be? Shoko’s cousin? One of her other female co-workers? Her high school friend? 

“Look, mom! She’s beautiful~”

Satoru was rendered speechless, utterly captivated by the sight before him. His fingers tingled with anticipation, his heart raced in his chest, his feet felt rooted to the ground, and his eyes remained fixed on the next lady gracefully making her way down the aisle. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what struck him the most: was it the sight of you in a stunning light green dress, resembling an angel descended from the heavens, or was it the haunting reminder of his own wedding day, when you walked down the same aisle as his most beautiful bride?

His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening with each step you took down the aisle. Satoru felt like a statue, frozen in place, unable to tear his gaze away from you. You had become the sole focus of his attention, the rest of the world fading into a blur around him. He couldn’t comprehend it. Why was it so effortless for him to let his guard down around you?

This woman, he thought. This woman is Sachiro’s mother. This was the same woman that carried his flesh and blood for nine months, now appearing as radiant as a freshly bloomed flower, as if untouched by the stresses of unexpected motherhood. What had transpired in Monaco to transform you into this vision of beauty?

“You’re drooling.” Suguru nudged him on the chest. “This isn’t your wedding. You had your chance.” 

Yes, he was well aware. This wasn’t his wedding, and he needed to maintain composure. Yet, it felt as though he was being drawn inexorably towards the mesmerizing goddess before him. With each beat of his heart quickening, he struggled to remind himself: No, Satoru. She's nothing to you now.

And because he was lost in a trance, he remained oblivious to the bride’s entrance and even Suguru’s emotional reaction to seeing his bride. His attention was solely fixated on you as he stole glances your way whenever he could. It wasn’t until the exchanging of rings, when you two had to stand side by side to assist the bride and groom, that he snapped back to reality. With you so close yet seemingly distant, Satoru felt a pang of disappointment as you never returned his gaze. The whispers and side comments from the guests also added to his discomfort, making him acutely aware of the scrutiny placed upon the best man and maid-of-honor.

“Aren’t they divorced?”

“Yeah, their marriage was a wreck.” 

“They’re bad luck. I hope they don’t pass it onto the couple.”  

For the first time in a long time, Satoru was gripped by an unprecedented desire to retort, to refute the misconceptions surrounding his marriage. Yet, he knew it was futile. Engaging in a verbal sparring match with another guest would only ruin his best friends' special day. Moreover, he might risk causing unintentional hurt to Akemi by defending a marriage that had long ceased to exist. So, despite the internal turmoil, he remained silent, allowing the whispers to persist unchecked.

And, with that, the wedding ceremony ended. Shoko and Suguru were now declared husband and wife. 

— — 

The reception was a time for socializing, enjoying drinks and hors d’oeuvres, and congratulating the newlyweds. For Suguru and Shoko, this part of the celebration felt effortless and their energies were seamlessly complementing each other’s. Unlike arranged marriages, there was no sense of haste or coercion; theirs was a union born of genuine affection. You couldn’t help but feel foolish for ever entertaining the notion that this was merely a conventional wedding experience. Here, before your eyes, unfolded a true celebration of love between two people.

Did Satoru share the same sentiments? You wondered what thoughts raced through his mind during the proceedings. Did the event trigger memories of his own past, or stir feelings of longing for what could have been?

You refused to subject yourself to the torment of dwelling on your past. If anything, your time living alone in Monaco had been a crucial step in your healing journey. While the process was far from complete, that solitary retreat had provided a much-needed respite from the source of your stress. It afforded you the opportunity to contemplate the life you were destined to lead, albeit alone for the foreseeable future.

By allowing Sachiro to spend more time with his father, you not only facilitated the rebuilding of their fractured relationship, but also acclimated your child to your absence. It was a necessary adjustment, one that would prepare him for the reality of your impending solitary existence. At least, Sachiro had a chance to live in a loving household with Satoru and Akemi, instead of a miserable and lonely way of living together with you. 

In the end, it was all for your child. 

As for the potential emotional minefield of attending this wedding, you were there for Shoko, who had always been a steadfast and understanding presence in your life. Her genuine friendship meant more to you than mere familial bonds ever could. Even at the risk of stirring up unhealthy emotions by being in a room full of people who hurt you, you couldn’t bear to disappoint Ieiri. 

Admittedly though, navigating the wedding crowd was a delicate balance of warmth and formality. Ieiri’s side of the family, who were doctors heavily acquainted with your family, greeted you with genuine warmth. While Suguru’s relatives, who were more closely tied to the Gojou family, maintained a polite distance. Although there were occasional moments of discomfort, you knew how to maintain composure throughout. 

As for Toji’s absence, while a part of you wished he could have been there as a supportive presence, you also recognized the value in learning to handle situations involving your ex-husband independently. He had an unavoidable business trip, but that also provided an opportunity for you to stop relying on him and navigate such occasions like these on your own. He was nothing more than a friend now. 

While that ex-husband, Satoru, was here with your best friend. It didn’t surprise you that he had brought Akemi as a plus one. In fact, you had expected it to happen. It just wasn’t the best feeling to be the maid-of-honor when the best man clearly had another lady for it in mind. 

It was quite amusing, too. Not once had Akemi approached you during the reception. You understood that she wanted to keep her distance, but you found it disrespectful that she was ignoring your existence. Was she scared to talk to you? Scared of what you had to say? You had heard over a million hurtful things from other people, yet she was afraid to hear a few pieces of advice from you?  

Forget it. Forget her and Satoru. Focus on the reception, Y/N. 

But really, how could you? As the moment arrived for the newlyweds’ first dance, tradition dictated that the best man and maid-of-honor should also take to the floor. You sensed the tension in the air as Satoru hesitated, surrounded by urging groomsmen, deciding whether or not he should ask you for a dance. He looked like he was battling with what was right and wrong in his mind, yet ultimately he chose to pass by you, extending his hand to Akemi instead.

It wasn’t feelings of shame that slapped you to reality. It was seeing Satoru holding Akemi’s hand, another on her waist, as they slowly danced to Can’t Help Falling In Love, a song that was played on your wedding day. 

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

Oh, for I can’t help

Falling in love with you

It shouldn’t hurt anymore. You were doing better. You were doing so good, you were doing… you were okay. You should be okay. Or did you overestimate your emotions a little too much? Because this, seeing the man you loved with all your heart holding another woman in his arms, was tortuous to your soul. You could feel the pains of your past tugging at your heart, wondering why he never danced like that with you on your wedding day? Why he never stared at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, why he never showed you off in a room full of curious people, why he never respected you enough to treat you with such… with such love. 

“Everything okay?”

You didn’t expect Nanami, out of all people, to be offering you a handkerchief. You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were already pooling of the tears if he had not cut you out of trance, offering a comforting and sympathetic smile. You had to blink multiple times just to push your tears back in. 

“Yeah,” you answered with a grateful expression. I’m strong. I’ll be fine. “Thank you.” 

Nanami took that as a sign to offer his hand. “Care for a dance, then?” 

Wiping your eyes, you nodded, smiling at the man. “Why not?” 

After the dance, the reception continued as follows. The cake cutting, the dinner service, then the toasts and speeches. If it wasn’t for Nanami, you wouldn’t have been able to pick yourself back up after the humiliation of seeing Satoru and Akemi dancing together. You just needed a decent amount of air to breathe and gather yourself together again. It was a nice help from someone who wasn’t a personal acquaintance of yours, that despite being Satoru’s right hand man in the company, Nanami still had some kindness in him that you would forever be thankful for. 

And when it was time for you to do your speech as the MOH, you didn’t let a single vulnerable emotion slip out of you. For that short moment, you tried not to think about who was in the audience, about what they thought of you, and about what other preconceived notions they had of you. You focused on the newlyweds as you stood in front of the mic stand, eye-to-eye with Shoko and Suguru, who were holding each other’s hands. 

“Shoko,” you began, smiling genuinely at the couple, “Through the laughter and tears, you’ve been my constant, my confidante, my rock. And today, as I watch you embark on this new chapter of your life, I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed with emotion.” 

The bride returned your smile, and you can tell Shoko was holding back tears of her own as she glanced between you and Satoru. 

You continued your speech, observing Suguru’s supportive gesture towards his wife as you spoke. “Shoko, I recall our late-night conversations, the tears shed over broken marriages, and the pain of shattered relationships. Yet, through it all, you’ve remained steadfast in your belief in love, in hope, in the possibility of a happily ever after.” Turning to Suguru, although he still had that lingering discomfort around you, you offered him nothing but heartfelt words. “As I look at you and Suguru, I’m reminded that true love exists—a love that is patient, kind, and enduring. My wish for you both is a lifetime filled with laughter, joy, and unwavering support for each other. May you cherish each other’s hearts, protect each other’s dreams, and weather life’s storms together, stronger in your love. Suguru, during your challenging days as a married couple, I pray that you always look at Shoko and remember why you love her. I pray that you will always have the capacity to cherish and respect her as your wife and the future mother of your children. May you keep her in your heart, no matter what challenges may come your way.”

As tears welled in Ieiri’s eyes, your voice faltered, the magnitude of your wishes for their marriage weighing heavily on your own unfulfilled desires. You weren’t trying to make this about you, and you hoped they thought that, too. 

“As I raise my glass to toast this beautiful union,” you said, raising the champagne glass on your hand, “I do so with a heart full of love and a silent prayer—that your love story will be one of triumph, of healing, and of endless happiness. Congratulations, Shoko and Suguru!”

— —

Satoru was deeply affected by your speech. Both in good and bad ways. On one hand, he was touched by the sincerity of your words and the genuine wishes you extended to the newlywed couple. On the other hand, he couldn’t shake off the pang of guilt and remorse that accompanied your words, knowing all too well the history behind them. When you expressed your hopes for Suguru to always cherish and respect Shoko, Satoru couldn’t help but reflect on his own behavior during your marriage and the ways in which he may have fallen short.

Each action he did definitely had a lasting impact on you. 

But what about the good ones? Had you forgotten about the times he treated you well? Had you forgotten the lengths he took just to prove to you that he was a changed man? That at one point in his life, he would do everything in him just to show you how much he loved you? 

It was unfair. Why did you only ever look at the bad things he did and never the good ones? Why did you still see him as a villain in your marriage when he knew he had paid his dues after he lost you?

It was truly, honestly unfair, that you get to be happy with Toji, but he ought to feel guilty for being with Akemi. 

“I think they’re about to do the bouquet and garter toss,” spoke Akemi, tugging at Satoru’s arm while they sat on their designated table. She held a napkin on her other hand to wipe her partner’s chin, smiling in excitement. “You should go and join.” 

Where were you? After your speech, Satoru couldn’t seem to find you anymore. Where had you gone off to? Did you leave already? 

“Y-Yeah,” Satoru answered, looking around the venue before turning to Akemi. “What about you? Won’t you join the bouquet toss thing?” 

She shook her head, hesitantly. “Isn’t it only for bridesmaids?” 

He grabbed her hand and urged her up. “No, it’s for all unmarried female guests. Come on.” 

The reason Satoru dragged her along was because Akemi loved weddings, and she especially enjoyed the traditions that came with it. She herself once dreamt about the picture perfect wedding, but never got to fully have her own, so attending such occasions made up for the lack of personally experiencing it. 

Gojou couldn’t exactly remember if he did the garter toss in his own wedding. If so, who had caught it? Who had caught your bouquet? His eyes swept across the entire venue once more, searching for your familiar figure among the guests. He was too occupied to realize that Shoko had already tossed her bouquet, and the frenzy of eager ladies ensued until it landed in Akemi’s hands.

He genuinely felt happy for Akemi. The joy in her eyes upon catching Shoko’s bouquet was unmistakable. Yet, as the playful teasing about a potential wedding for him shifted in his direction, Satoru couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pressure. It wasn’t supposed to weigh on him like this. It was too soon to have that expectation of him. 

“Looks like someone’s getting married next!”

And while he was feeling suffocated from the pressure placed upon him, the receiver of the tossed garter happened to have been Nanami. 

Immediately, the teasing ensued, with the other guests urging Nanami to wear the garter on Akemi’s leg. Out of respect, Nanami looked at Gojou for permission, but honestly? He was just grateful he didn’t have to do all that and be pressured about another wedding that he had not yet thought about. Fuck it, thank God Nanami had caught the garter because Satoru was sure as hell starting to feel uneasy there. 

“Go for it,” was the only thing Satoru said to Nanami, gesturing his chin at Akemi’s direction. 

While everyone was focused on the situation between Nanami and Akemi, Satoru took that opportunity to escape from the crowd and find his peace at the balcony. He hastily made his way out of the reception hall, feeling a sense of relief as he could finally breathe. 

And there you were, standing alone, lost in contemplation, and your gaze fixed upon the tranquil expanse of the lakeside. The chill breeze caressed your hair softly, as if mirroring the calm that enveloped your countenance. In another universe, this would have been an opportune moment to hug you from behind, sharing the warmth of his embrace around your figure. But he was living in a universe where you and him weren’t meant to be together.

In fact, you were probably thinking about another man as you stared at the lake, hoping that he was there with you. 

“Did you have fun in Monaco with Toji?” Satoru was crazy for going straight to the point, and he knew it was a blunt inquiry, bordering on intrusive, but it tumbled out nonetheless, revealing the thoughts that had been plaguing in his mind. His words spilled out before he could rein them in, a question born of curiosity and perhaps a touch of jealousy.

As for you, with your peace in the balcony now ruined, you briefly opened your mouth to respond, but held back against it as you met Gojou’s eyes with a distant stare. You were even quick to look away and sigh, like he was not worth the conversation. You had not spoken a word to him since the wedding ceremony and you were definitely going to keep doing it. 

And man, did that hurt his ego. 

So, for a very stupid reason, he felt the need to hurt yours in return. “Do you know Sachi calls Akemi ‘mama’ in his sleep?” 

Your eyes remained empty. “Good for you, then. You won’t have a hard time getting him accustomed to it.” 

“Y/N.” Satoru’s voice came out as a warning, and he was about to start an argument on why you were abandoning him and Sachi over Toji, but he was interrupted at the appearance of Akemi carrying Shoko’s bouquet as she tried to search for her lover. This meant that the conversation with the ex-wife was over.

But as he glanced between you and Akemi, his bitter past and his sweet present, why did Satoru’s heart still lingered with you when it shouldn’t?

“You should go,” you briefly muttered, walking in the opposite direction, “Your future wife’s looking for you.”

Satoru’s sudden grip on your wrist halted your steps abruptly. His voice carried a bitter edge as he reminded you of the agreement you had made. “Y/N, we agreed to co-parent Sachiro properly. Why are you choosing Toji over your own son?” 

The accusation left a tense atmosphere, eliciting a sharp response from you as you yanked your hand away, a flash of anger igniting in your eyes. “You have no idea what you're talking about, Satoru.”

— —

“Welcome to Hoshinoya Fuji, Ms. L/N!” 

You stepped out of the car, taking in the serene beauty of the lakeside cabin that would be your sanctuary for the next three days and two nights. Nestled among towering pines and sturdy oaks, the cabin exuded a rustic charm that blended seamlessly with the natural landscape. Its weathered wooden exterior, adorned with a green tin roof, seemed to have grown organically from the earth itself.

The cabin sat on a gentle slope that led directly to the water’s edge. A wooden deck wrapped around the front, offering a perfect vantage point for gazing out over the tranquil lake. Your room also had the best view of Mount Fuji, which you thought was the highlight of this luxurious accommodation. 

After the newlywed send-off, you were quickly ushered in by Shoko and Suguru’s staff, who were in charge of attending to the special guests staying a few extra days at the cabin. Though the couple wouldn’t start their proper honeymoon until their 6-month long cruise trip in two weeks, they wanted their guests to enjoy the accommodations they had arranged. You were relieved to hear that, despite Satoru and Akemi also being among the friends staying, each guest had their own private cabin reserved.

The thing was, you could leave any time if you wanted to. Shoko also reassured you that it would be okay and that she would understand if you wanted to go home right away. She knew that the situation may be uncomfortable for you, and that she felt bad you even had to deal with it during the ceremony, but you made a promise to her. You were her maid-of-honor for a reason, and part of your duty was to help with the post-ceremony tasks to ensure that Shoko can focus on enjoying her pre and post-wedding activities. 

So, in some ways, you felt obliged to stay. You didn’t need to interact much with others during your stay, anyway. You were content staying in your room, perhaps taking some occasional walks outside. Satoru could do whatever he wanted with Akemi; you were determined to avoid crossing their paths.

Besides, inside the cabin was a cozy retreat. The main living area featured large windows that framed the picturesque view, allowing moonlight to spill in and illuminate the space. A stone fireplace, complete with a rustic mantel adorned with pinecones and candles, stood as the centerpiece of the room. Plush armchairs and a worn leather sofa invited relaxation, while a handwoven rug added a touch of warmth and color.

As you moved towards the bedroom, you found a comfortable queen-sized bed covered in a soft, plaid quilt. The scent of pine mingled with the faint aroma of fresh linens, creating an atmosphere of peaceful haven. An old-fashioned dresser and a bedside table, topped with a simple lamp, completed the room. The windows here, too, offered a glimpse of the sparkling lake, ensuring that the beauty of nature would greet you each morning.

Stepping outside, you walked down a short path to the water’s edge, where a small wooden dock extended into the lake. A pair of Adirondack chairs sat invitingly at the end of the dock, perfect for soaking in the sunset or stargazing at night. Nearby, a fire pit surrounded by stones and logs as seating promised cozy evenings under the stars, with the gentle sound of lapping water providing a soothing backdrop.

On your first night there, you ended up falling asleep right away. The physical and emotional exhaustion, combined with jetlag, knocked you out. However, the next day promised a few tasks to complete the post-wedding cleanup. 

The second night, however, was a different story.

When you returned to the cabin, the cool evening air was crisp against your skin. The temperature went down a couple of celsius compared to yesterday, so as you walked down the path toward the lakeside, you were drawn to the flickering glow of a fire pit illuminating the area near the water’s edge. Drawing closer, the soft sounds of laughter and conversation reached your ears, mingling with the gentle crackle of burning logs.

The fire pit was surrounded by a group, their faces lit by the warm, golden light of the flames. They sat on a circle of logs and foldable chairs, leaning in to feel the comforting heat. Some held mugs of steaming cocoa, while others toasted marshmallows on long sticks, their tips glowing bright orange before transforming into gooey, sugary treats.

You paused for a moment and took in the scene. Was it a safe space for you to be in? You noticed familiar faces among the group—some of the couple’s old friends from the wedding, now relaxed and enjoying the peaceful night. One of the guests strummed a guitar softly, the melody adding to the cozy, inviting atmosphere. Another guest told a story, their animated expressions and gestures causing bursts of laughter from the listeners.

There was no sight of Satoru and Akemi. Perhaps, it might be okay to join in.

As you approached, Suguru emerged from a nearby cabin, smiling in a way that felt unusual. Why was he being friendly all of a sudden? Last time you checked, he still held a grudge against you. But now, he showed no signs of antagonism, and was even approaching you with his usual friendly demeanor.

“Y/N,” he said, the fog of his breath visible in the cold air, “I never got to thank you properly for helping us with everything here. I didn’t think you’d make it last minute.”

You wrapped your shawl tighter around yourself to ward off the chill. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad to help out and be here for you guys,” you replied warmly. And while glancing around, you noticed the absence of Shoko. “Where’s the missus?”

Suguru’s smile took on a mischievous edge. “Sleeping. She’s still pretty tired and…”

You interrupted him with a laugh, catching onto his suggestive tone. “Alright, you two. You’re wild.”

His grin softened into a sincere expression. “No, seriously. I never got to properly thank you. I never got to apologize to you either.” Suguru looked down with guilt. “I’m sorry for being an asshole to you. I was focusing too much on Satoru’s point-of-view, dismissing how it must be like to be in your position amidst all that mess. Shoko helped me understand why you made certain decisions, why you had no other option. She helped me see things from your perspective, to realize the extent of your suffering. We all knew that, I guess. We all knew you were constantly dealt a bad hand, yet you remain kind and resilient. You continue to show empathy to others, even when the world hasn’t been fair to you.”

In the ensuing silence, your heart seemed to thunder in your chest. His words carried weight far beyond what he might have intended, and you genuinely appreciated his apology. Even if he didn’t need to say them. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a gem, Y/N.” Suguru gave your back a gentle pat. “You deserve to be happy in your own special way. And just like how you wished us well with our marriage, I hope you’ll find your own path to a happy marriage, too.” 

“Thank you,” you mumbled, looking down with a forlorn smile. 

“We’re here for you, okay?” he offered, “Shoko and I. You can count on us if you need us, if you need help with Sachiro, if you need help with life in general.” 

“I appreciate it, really.” 

And by then, he cleared his throat, opening up a topic that caught you off guard. You didn’t expect it from Suguru out of all people. “Y/N, I know why you were in Monaco.” 

Of course. He’d know it from Shoko. 

“I also know,” he continued, dark narrow eyes staring straight at yours, “why you left Sachiro with his father.” 

You were a deer caught in the headlights. You wouldn’t say it felt invasive to have someone be aware of the reasoning behind your personal decisions, but it was just an altogether different feeling to know that it was your ex-husband’s best friend who knew. 

“Why didn’t you tell him?” he asked, referring to Satoru, “That you broke up with Toji?” 

You took a deep breath. “I don’t see the point of telling him.”

“What if I were to tell you that he’d come running desperately to you the moment he finds out?” he posed another burning question. “You still love him, right? You and him would likely get together without much difficulty if he were aware. So, why hesitate?”

“Because I don’t want that,” you answered, feeling words caught in your throat in a moment of vulnerability. “Because I’m scared to get back with him. Because he has Akemi now. Because I don’t wanna keep ruining the lives of the people around me. We’re better off this way, Suguru. I don’t want to mess up the second time around, and I definitely don’t think Satoru would be able to fully move on with his life with me still in the picture. He seems to be happy with Akemi already.” 

Suguru smiled sadly. “You don’t even wanna get your revenge? Don’t wanna get back at your best friend for dating your ex?” he paused to correct himself, “Well, dating is the wrong term. Satoru insists they’re not exclusive, you know?” 

You shook your head, sighing. Satoru, you haven’t changed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine with the way things are.” 

He was on the verge of continuing, poised to persuade further, but the arrival of the very individuals in question brought an abrupt halt to his words. Descending the cabin steps was Shoko, trailed by Satoru, who, in a gesture of warmth, had draped his jacket around Akemi, with his arms encircling her.

All five of you found yourselves in an awkward situation, now faced with two couples, one of which was at the core of your distress. The tension was palpable, and it didn’t help that Satoru’s vivid blue eyes met yours, seemingly trying to decode the conversation between you and Suguru. That was none of his business. He could continue his affectionate display with Akemi, while you had other matters to attend to than be part of an awkward quintet.

“I should go,” you declared, avoiding eye contact with everyone, unwilling to play the fifth wheel. You were hoping to evade Satoru and Akemi’s presence, but both Shoko and Suguru already caught your arm. 

“Y/N, please,” Shoko urged, her arm reaching out to you. “Don't isolate yourself tonight. Come join us.”

The memory of Bora Bora flooded your mind, a painful reminder of a similar situation when Shoko had extended the same invitation, leading to the discomfort of witnessing Sera’s closeness with Satoru. You knew that wasn’t Shoko’s intention, but it was your ex-husband who couldn’t stop catching himself in these situations. 

This was a bad idea. You knew that. 

So, why did you agree? 

Despite your reservations, curiosity got the best of you. You would vehemently deny it if asked, but deep down, you pondered whether Suguru’s words held any truth about Satoru’s lingering feelings for you. It wasn’t out of pettiness, but rather a desire to confirm if Satoru was truly committed to Akemi. You knew this could potentially hurt you, but after enduring so much pain, you couldn’t imagine anything worse.

“Hey, you guys!” 

“It’s nice of you to join us!” 

“What’s up newlyweds?” 

Upon joining the group at the fireplace, you were partly grateful that you weren’t exactly a fifth wheel in the situation. There were about ten or twelve people in total, with the earlier group still remaining in their seats. It just so happened that you were seated right across your ex-husband, who was too busy trying to keep Akemi warm and cozy. 

“So, Y/N…” spoke a man from the group, who appeared to be Suguru’s colleague. “Are you single?” 

The unexpected question caught you off guard, especially the tension it seemed to create, particularly with Satoru who sat stiffly next to Akemi. Even Shoko and Suguru seemed apologetic for their friend’s behavior, but you brushed it off, recognizing that he had probably indulged a bit too much with beer. He was harmless enough when sober.

“Don’t be asking questions like that,” Suguru intervened, tapping the back of his friend’s head in a playful scold. “That’s rude.” 

The friend protested, still oblivious to the discomfort he had caused. “I was just asking! She’s attractive. I have the right to know.”

You forced a smile, accepting the can of beer he had offered. “Thanks, but I—”

“Even if she’s single, she’s not interested in you,” Shoko chimed in, keeping a casual mien. She had to keep things cool, especially with an explosive Gojou around. You were just thankful that she didn’t exactly reveal the status of your relationship with Toji, and that she was doing her best to divert the attention away from you. 

In this little scene, you caught a glimpse of Akemi tugging at Satoru’s arm, like she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Why? Did it trigger an insecurity within her? She couldn’t even return eye-contact, constantly avoiding your eyes and reacting to any conversation remotely related to you. But Satoru was there acting like a concerned boyfriend, whispering reassurance into her ear, and rubbing her knee in a comforting fashion. 

“You two make a lovely couple,” remarked one of the girls, directing her compliment to Satoru and Akemi.“Weren’t you the girl who caught the bouquet? Looks like there might be another wedding on the horizon.”

“Oooh!” 

“They’re an attractive couple, too.” 

“You guys planning for any children?” 

Just like Bora Bora. A bitter smile lingered on your face, but you decided not to look at Satoru anymore. He must be enjoying this. 

Shoko leaned in and placed an arm around you to whisper her apologies. “I’m sorry, Y/N. This was a bad idea.” 

“It’s okay,” you assured, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’ll leave after I finish my beer so it won’t be awkward.” 

As the night wore on, conversation flowed easily at first, with everyone exchanging stories and laughter, and eventually more beers and liquor were passed around. Shoko and Suguru were lost in the glow of newlywed bliss, while you found yourself increasingly uneasy as memories of the past mingled with the present.

Satoru’s presence beside Akemi was a constant reminder of your failed marriage, and you struggled to suppress the weakness in your chest that threatened to surface. They held hands and watched the fire together, her head resting on his shoulder, his lips on top of her head. She was trying to voice out a specific concern to him, and he was sweetly listening to her. Did they even realize the ex-wife was in the same area with them? It was insensitive. You never knew Satoru could be this insensitive around you, no matter what his reasons were, his romantic gestures towards her was a clear slap to your face. And he succeeded, because you would be foolish not to admit that it broke your heart in half to witness him choosing another woman over you. 

Again, Satoru. Here we go again. You tried to stop the pounding on your chest. Here we fucking are the second time around. 

Desperate to ease the tension, Shoko and Suguru attempted to steer the conversation toward lighter topics, but their efforts only served to highlight the underlying tension in the air. You forced a smile and nodded along with the conversation, but inside, your heart was heavy with unresolved emotions.

And then someone had to bring up that stupid truth or dare game. 

“Satoru-kun, I dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this group.” 

“Whoo! Do it! Do it! Do it!” 

Satoru was initially hesitant as he clearly found himself at a crossroads. He had two options here. Should he risk hurting Akemi by refusing to kiss her? Or should he risk hurting you by kissing another woman in front of you?

The clear winner was Akemi, because as soon as Gojou pressed his lips onto hers, you were already walking out of there. You had already excused yourself from the group, your footsteps as heavy as your heart. And unbeknownst to you, Satoru watched you go with a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but it was too late for apologies or second chances. The fire continued to crackle and pop as you left, its flames casting long shadows across the empty space where you had sat.

It was game over. Satoru had won his game. 

— —

Satoru was puzzled by your behavior since the wedding. You seemed determined to avoid him, which made sense with Akemi constantly by his side, but there was also an air of desperation to your avoidance. What baffled him even more was the jealousy you exhibited, as if you weren’t involved with another man, to the point where you even flew to another country just to spend more time with him. 

Like you said, you two were no longer married. It was about time you moved on. Yet, how come you were acting heartbroken over seeing Satoru with another woman?

Did you really think leaving the fire pit so abruptly had gone unnoticed?

Did you really think he had taken his eyes off you?

If not for Akemi telling him that she was having pelvic cramps, Gojou would have run off to follow you the minute you left the fire pit. Clearly, you still had an issue seeing him with another girl and he wanted you to voice it out. But if there was anything he learned during your time together, you would never be the first one to admit that you were jealous. Heck, didn’t you even allow him to bring Sera to Bora Bora that one time?

Look, he didn’t want to hurt you all over again. And if you had walked up to him and called him an asshole for having Akemi around, he would even agree with you. But it was your decision to choose Toji, it was your request for Satoru to find someone else, so why did it seem like you were suddenly changing your mind?

“I’m sorry for being a party pooper,” Akemi groaned in discomfort as Gojou helped her back to their cabin. He quickly refocused on their conversation, reminding himself not to dwell on thoughts of you when Akemi needed his attention—it wouldn’t be fair to her. She was suffering from a terrible illness that he wouldn’t wish upon anyone and he had to be her rock. “It’s been hurting quite a bit lately. I really should start with my treatment.”

Once inside their room, he swiftly settled her into bed. “Where does it hurt?” He applied a gentle touch to her pelvic bone, massaging the area to alleviate her discomfort. “Here?”

“Mhm. Thank you,” she lightly spoke, her soft hand caressing his cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

“You look really pale, though. I’m worried,” he remarked, sympathizing with her. Her complexion betrayed the pain she was holding back, though she likely hesitated to admit she wanted to go home and rest. “Do you wanna go home? Even if it’s in the middle of the night, I can have my driver pick us up.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, no. Please, I'll be fine. You won't get to see Shoko and Suguru for a while once they’re on their honeymoon, so I want you to spend time with them here.”

“You sure? But you always come first.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

As Satoru continued to massage the area where Akemi felt pain, his thoughts inevitably drifted to you. He recalled the time when you were pregnant with Sachiro, experiencing frequent lower abdominal pain as your body adjusted to the baby. Each night, Satoru stayed up, gently rubbing your belly until you drifted off to sleep. It was one of his happiest memories during your marriage—the domestic bliss of being your husband and the memory of him caring for his wife. He wasn’t sure if he was missing it, or if he was just recalling a past memory, but looking at Akemi, Satoru wondered if he was prepared to have all that again but with another woman. 

He couldn’t give himself an answer. 

“I’m such a terrible person.” 

He should be telling himself that, but it was Akemi who said those words out loud as her brown doe-eyes stared at him solemnly, an expression that reflected guilt and remorse in equal measure. 

“How come?” Satoru’s voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, gently tucking the sheets around her while perching on the edge of the bed.

Her smile held a touch of sorrow, yet there was a glimmer of relief in her eyes. “I feel like I’ve failed Y/N. She treated me like family, like a sister, and now I can’t even face her properly. I’m just terrified, you know? I don’t want to keep letting her down. I never meant to cause her pain.”

For a moment, Gojou fell silent at her admission. “It’s all my fault. You two never would have been in this position if it wasn’t for me.” 

“Absolutely not,” Akemi persisted before leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. “Tonight, you’ve shown me that you’ve truly moved on from her. I was starting to worry, afraid that I could never fill the space she held in your heart. But since the wedding, you’ve never sidelined me or made me feel like an afterthought. You’ve never made me feel like second best. You’ve always prioritized me. I understand it’s hard seeing your ex-wife, but I appreciate your efforts more than you know. You make me feel incredibly special.”

Satoru swallowed hard. The mention of your name sent a pang of guilt coursing through his chest. He knew he had hurt Akemi with his lingering attachment to his past and his inability to fully let go of the woman who had once held his heart in her hands. He wanted to agree with Akemi, to reassure her that he had chosen her, but the truth remained elusive, buried beneath layers of denial and self-deception. He even had to close his eyes for a minute, unable to meet her gaze as a tumult of conflicting emotions swirled within him. He wanted to tell her the truth, to confess the depth of his feelings for his ex-wife, but the words were caught in his throat.

In that moment, Satoru felt more lost and alone than ever before, trapped in a web of his own making, and unable to confront the truth behind his true feelings. Moved on? Had he truly moved on from you, or had he simply buried his feelings beneath a facade of indifference?

“You should rest your eyes,” was the only thing he could tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead before he had turned off the lights. 

With the clock ticking past 11 o’clock and their recent conversation still echoing in his mind, Satoru felt an urgent need for clarity. He knew he had to confront his thoughts alone. So, without disturbing Akemi’s peaceful slumber, he quietly slipped out of the cabin, seeking solace in the night air. Immediately, as he got out, he was met with the apologetic eyes of his best friend. 

“Hey,” Satoru greeted, confused by the urgency in Suguru’s expression. “What’s up?” 

Suguru took a deep breath before he rubbed the back of his head. “There’s something I ought to tell you.” 

— —

You had been standing at the edge of the lake for a while now, the cool night air sending shivers down your spine as you gazed out at the shimmering expanse of water before you. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the tranquil scene, its soft light dancing on the surface of the lake like a thousand tiny stars.

The temptation to dive into the dark waters below tugged at your heart like a siren’s song, beckoning you to leave behind the pain and sorrow that had plagued you for so long. You longed to feel the icy embrace of the lake envelop you, to lose yourself in its depths and wash away the memories that haunted you every waking moment.

Is this how it feels like to finally let go? 

As you stood on the shore, your toes just inches from the water’s edge, a wave of despair then washed over you, threatening to pull you under like the undertow of a riptide. You thought of Sachiro, your sweet, innocent son, asleep in his bed back in Tokyo, his laughter and smiles serving as an antidote to the pain in your heart.

And then him… 

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you thought of Satoru. Despite the pain he had caused you, it was impossible not to yearn for him still, because his memory was a ghost that haunted you in every waking moment. But you knew that you couldn’t continue to live in the shadow of your past marriage. You had to escape being trapped in a cycle of longing and regret. You owed it to Sachiro to be strong, to find the courage to let go of the man who had once been your everything.

With your empty gaze, the calm lake shimmered in the moonlight like a blanket of liquid silver. You had come to the lake seeking solace, seeking escape from the unbearable pain that gnawed at your heart like a relentless tide. But as tears left your eyes, your emotions threatened to drown you in a sea of despair. 

Without hesitation, you dropped your shawl to the side, shedding yourself off of the cloth with a sense of reckless abandon. The fright of swimming in open water, especially at night, could have you passed out in a matter of seconds, but you paid it no mind as you waded into the water. 

Is this how it feels to finally give up? 

The lake embraced you like an old friend, enfolding you in its cool embrace as you swam out into the darkness. Each stroke brought you closer to the center of the lake, closer to the heart of your pain, and yet you felt strangely at peace, as if the water itself held the key to your salvation. You took time floating on your back, staring up at the stars that glittered like diamonds in the night sky, you felt a sense of clarity wash over you. You knew that your love for Satoru was a burden you could no longer bear.

But more than that, you knew that you couldn’t let your own pain dictate the course of your son’s life. Sachiro deserved better than a mother consumed by sorrow, better than a life overshadowed by the ghosts of the past.

With a deep breath, you let go of the pain that had held you captive for so long. You submerged yourself into the depths of the lake, watching as the night sky vanished beneath the surface like a wisp of smoke in the wind.

In that moment, you felt a sense of freedom unlike anything you had ever known. You just had to stay still. You had to keep yourself underwater, hold your breath until you no longer needed it, and… 

And…

You struggled to breathe, your mind consumed in panic telling you that you would die if you had kept yourself submerged for another minute, but you were adamant on staying there. You fought battles in your own mind, despite your body fighting back to keep you alive. 

At least soon, you would finally meet your mom again. 

“...”

“......”

“....Y/N!” 

“.......Y/N!” 

Feeling your vision blur and your limbs growing limp, you surrendered to the natural sway of the water. Bubbles escaped from your nose, your mouth tightly sealed shut. And the next thing you knew, you were back on the water surface, drawing breath like a fish out of the water. You could feel someone tugging at your arm, could feel the presence of another person dragging you out of the water, his arms pulling you into an embrace. 

“Y/N! What the hell are you thinking?!” 

You sobbed uncontrollably, your heartache pouring out as Satoru cradled you in his arms, his white hair damp from his efforts to rescue you from the water. How and when did he arrive? Your mind couldn’t process the details amidst the turmoil. All you could do was surrender to the flood of tears, feeling paralyzed from head to toe as you cried into his embrace.

Is this another dream? 

Is this another hallucination? 

You released a bitter laugh. Please. You closed your eyes, laughing and crying like a mad person. Please stop the pain. 

“Y/N, please,” his whispers were tender, yet tinged with a sorrow that amplified your heartache. “What about Sachiro?” He, too, shed his own tears, his ocean-blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight as they filled with tears, his voice breaking. “What about me?”

Your face was pressed against his chest, anguish coursing through you, feeling as if your very soul was being torn asunder. “Th-That’s the... the same thing... I’ve been asking myself,” you managed between sobs, struggling to draw a steady breath. “I’m... I’m always th-thinking about other people... and never myself.”

He fell silent, his response lost in the weight of your words, perhaps laden with guilt or his own sorrow. But his presence there, holding you close, as if he still harbored love for you, tore another piece from your already battered heart. He shouldn’t be here. He should have been with Akemi. He should be anywhere but near you. With a surge of adrenaline, you began to push him away, propelling yourself through the water, racing toward the shore despite the weakness in your limbs. Satoru called out your name, his voice a desperate plea, as he followed after you, his movements slower but filled with urgency.

“Stop!” Your voice rose, echoing against the night as you stood on the shore, water cascading from your body in sync with the tears streaming down your face. “L-Leave me alone... Please. Why are you here?”

You knew Satoru well enough to understand what had driven him to chase after you. Perhaps he had grown concerned, either from noticing your absence or from someone informing him of your uncharacteristic nighttime swim. His actions were undoubtedly unusual; he knew all too well of your fear of open water, prompting him to leap into action to rescue you.

But you didn’t need him to be here. You didn’t need him anywhere. He wasn’t yours anymore. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice carrying the weight of confusion and concern, his steps cautious as he approached you. He looked at you with tears in his eyes, his expression vulnerable and pleading, like a child seeking comfort, desperately hoping to be understood, to be heard. “You’re not with Toji anymore.”

“Why should I?” You struggled to compose yourself, wiping away the tears that blurred your vision. “It doesn’t matter—”

“It fucking matters, Y/N!”

“It shouldn’t matter!” Your voice cracked with emotion, your heart pounding painfully against your ribs. “Why should it matter, huh?”

“Because I love you!” His words echoed through the night, raw with emotion that had never been confronted until now. “Because I can’t fucking get over you. Because I’m a fool for you!”

You pushed him away, a surge of anger and hurt rising within you. “H-How dare you,” you choked out, your fists trembling as you struck his chest. “How dare you say that to me when you’re with someone else! You n-never truly loved me, Satoru. Y-You never did!”

“You wanted me to find someone new, Y/N,” his voice cracked with emotion, pained by his own words, “I just did what you asked me to do, even if that wasn’t what I truly wanted.” 

You vehemently denied his assertion in your mind, shaking your head in refusal. “Stop saying that. Just stop. Please.”

He already had his grip on your hand, pulling you closer. “Y/N—”

You jerked your hand away sharply, but then a wave of despair washed over you. “Every time I see you with her, I convince myself that I’m fine with it, that this is what I wanted, what I chose.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you recalled every heartbreak. “I tell myself that I deserve it, that you deserve to be with someone who can make you happier. But then I remember our past…” You paused, closing your eyes to stem the tears. “And then I compare it to your relationship with her now. I can’t help but wonder, why didn’t I receive that kind of love and respect from the beginning? Why did it take me nearly drowning in an ocean for you to realize and try to make things right three years ago?”

His grip on your hand tightened, as if he wanted to hold onto you and never let go, as if he wanted to reassure you with his touch that he was there, listening, understanding, feeling every word you uttered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible amidst the crashing waves and the heavy weight of your emotions. “I’m sorry for everything I did wrong, for every moment I failed to show you the love and respect you deserved, Y/N.”

You hated it. You hated hearing his words now, because it was three years all too late. You had already gone through so much suffering, so much anguish that you didn’t deserve, just because you wanted a happy marriage. Just because you wanted to love and be loved. By him. By the person you married. 

“It d-doesn’t change anything,” you murmured, your voice breaking with sorrow. “I can’t undo the pain, the heartache. I can’t erase the memories.”

“I know,” he replied softly, his eyes filled with remorse. “But let’s try again. Let me try again, Y/N. Please.”

You wanted to believe him, to believe that he meant every word, that he was sincere in his intentions. But the wounds of the past were still fresh, and the memories of betrayal were still lingering in your mind.

“You know what hurts me more?” you asked, “It’s the fact that you didn’t lose your memories of me, but you still ended up falling for her,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Satoru’s silence felt like a confirmation to you. Perhaps he had indeed fallen in love with Akemi, and you were the obstacle standing in the way of his complete commitment to her. You were just a relic of his past, a piece that he needed to discard in order to embrace his future with Akemi. It seemed that fate had already decided that you and Satoru would never find happiness together, and this should serve as nothing more than a closure. 

But god be damned, it was tearing you apart. 

You tugged at the necklace around your neck, the pendant bearing half of his heart, and in your trembling hand, you ripped it off. As painful as it was, your next action was to hurl it into the darkness of the lake, discarding the last remnant that linked him to you, watching as it disappeared beneath the surface of the lake with a soft splash.

You know the difference between us, Satoru? You thought silently. I dove into the ocean just to find our wedding ring, but you would never plunge into that lake to retrieve that necklace.

With determined steps, you turned away before he could react, walking away from that place, walking away from him. You resolved that this would be your final encounter with Satoru Gojou in your lifetime, because there was no need for him in your life, just as he no longer needed you in his. You two would remain in the past, a memory best left behind.

This was you letting him go. 

But then, just as you were about to walk away, you heard a faint noise from the darkness behind you—a splash, followed by the sound of another frantic splashing.

Your heart pounded heavily in your chest. You turned back toward the lake, your eyes widening in shock as you saw Satoru thrashing in the water, his arms flailing as he searched desperately for the necklace you had thrown away.

“Satoru, you idiot!” you cried out, your voice filled with disbelief and concern and pain and overwhelming heartache. Without a second thought, you ran back to the cold water, your feet sinking into the soft sand as you waded into the lake. “Satoru, what are you doing?!” you called out again, your heart racing as you reached out to him, your fingers brushing against his arm as he struggled to stay afloat.

“I have to find it,” Satoru gasped, his voice strained with exertion. “I have to find the necklace you threw.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked into his eyes, seeing the desperation and determination that burned within them. You knew then that you couldn’t let him risk his life for a piece of jewelry, no matter how sentimental it may be.

“Satoru, please,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s not worth it. Let it go—”

But Satoru shook his head, his gaze fixed on the dark waters below. “I have to find it," he insisted, his eyes tearful. “It’s my heart. I gave it to you.”

 I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. 

The tension between you crackled like electricity in the air. In that moment, all of your walls came crashing down, your heart laid bare before the man you had once loved with all your soul.

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you reached out and pulled Satoru into your arms, your lips meeting his in a desperate, longing kiss. It was a kiss filled with years of pent-up emotion, a bittersweet union of love and pain that left you both breathless and raw. Your lips moved together in a tender dance, each kiss a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a second chance at the love you had lost. It was a kiss that spoke of regrets and what-ifs, of dreams left unfulfilled and promises broken.

For years, you had been strangers, your hearts closed off to each other in an attempt to shield yourselves from the pain of your past. But in that moment, as you clung to each other in the darkness, you couldn’t deny the truth that still lingered between you—that your love for each other had never truly died.

As you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, you looked into Satoru’s eyes, seeing the depth of his pain mirrored in your own. “I hate you,” you whispered, your voice laced with grief and surrender, "so much."

Satoru reached out and brushed a tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and tender. “I hate me, too,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, his eyes shining with guilt, “for hurting you.”

You couldn’t erase the past, nor could you predict the future. But as you stood together in the middle of the lake, your hearts entwined once more, you found solace in the simple act of being together, of sharing your pain and your love in the darkness of the night. And as you held each other tight, the gravity of your connection pulled you to kiss him again. 

Once more, you met his lips in a deeper kiss. His lips moved in perfect sync with yours, and the taste of his tongue was met with the familiarity you two shared. It was as if your bodies were moving on its own, and you allowed it to dictate whatever action it desired. Forget everything for now, was all you could think of in your head. In your mind, it was all Satoru. It was the man you love. The man you married. The man you share a child with. 

You were too engrossed with the feeling of his lips that you didn’t even realize he had your legs wrapped around his waist. And with your arms around his neck, you could feel him lift you up, never breaking the kiss as he carried you out of the lake. With each step he took, your kiss only got deeper and deeper. You had never felt such intensity throughout your marriage, and you were intoxicated by the feeling of kissing him again. 

Of feeling his lips around your jawline. Your neck. Your chest. You were gasping on his mouth, had his lips completely enveloped with yours, not realizing you were stumbling inside your cabin, desperate to find somewhere to lay on. 

And before you knew it, the night had played way differently than expected.

Both your wet clothes were on the floor in a tangle of fabric, forgotten in the heat of your passion. And now, with your bare body on top of him. His arms caressed the smooth skin of your back, his lips feathering kisses along your bust. As you moved your hips slowly, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips. Satoru’s member was warm inside you. Your bodies were tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking in the dimly lit room. And when you pulled away, your eyes were locked in a silent exchange of yearning.

Without a word, Satoru reached out and gently cupped your breast, his touch sending electricity down your spine. You leaned into his touch, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours.

Your lips met once more, a tender exploration of each other’s mouths, and he was taking that chance to shift the position you were in. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he began to enter you again. You were whimpering under him, melting into his passionate movements. You have had sex with Satoru multiple times before, but it was never this emotional. It was never this passionate. You could feel the difference with the way he kissed you, with the way he looked at you, with the way he touched you. 

“S-Satoru—!” 

“Mmm… I missed you so fucking much, Y/N.”

And then, finally, you came together in a flurry of hands and lips and skin, your bodies melding into one as you gave yourselves over to the exquisite pleasure of your lovemaking. 

At that exact moment, as you moved together in perfect harmony, you knew that you were home.

— —

When Akemi woke up, she could tell something felt wrong. 

It didn’t help that Satoru was not by her side as she opened her eyes, blinded by the sunlight that peeked through the window. Was he out for a morning run? Or perhaps he was indulging in a leisurely bath? She entertained the idea of joining him, wanting to express her gratitude for his care and support.

Her heart swelled with love for him, despite all the risks and uncertainties. He was her rock, her confidant, her everything. In him, she found solace and strength, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Despite the troubles of his past, she felt blessed to have crossed paths with him. She longed for the kind of deep connection and lasting commitment that she saw in others’ marriages, a dream she harbored for her own future. And in Satoru, she saw the perfect partner to share that dream with, to build a family and a life together that she had always yearned for.

Akemi wasn’t ashamed by how smitten she was with him. In fact, she was beginning to have more confidence in her decision to pursue a relationship with him. She just hoped you would understand, that you would eventually let go of the grudge in your heart. At the end of the day, she wasn’t trying to hurt you. She was only trying to pursue her happiness. 

And the exact source of her happiness was someone she endeavored to find that morning. She put on a robe and searched every room in the cabin, calling out for his name, wondering why she couldn’t hear his voice. 

With no response forthcoming, Akemi decided to exit the cabin in search of Satoru. Assuming he had likely been with Suguru all night, she scanned the vicinity, expecting to spot his tall, white-haired figure. Yet, after several minutes of fruitless searching, she couldn’t find him and instead, encountered a hotel staff member. That was when she decided to finally inquire about his whereabouts.

“Excuse me,” she began, halting the staff member’s stride, “Have you seen my boyfriend? He’s tall, with white hair and blue eyes.”

“Ah, Mr. Gojou?” the hotel staff responded, scratching her head as realization dawned. She then gestured toward the last place Akemi wished him to be. “Um, I think he’s in there.”

Akemi’s heart raced as if she had seen a ghost. Her complexion drained of color, her heart pounding in her chest as she realized that the cabin she had been directed to was yours. And in a twist of fate, just as she stood there in shock, the man she loved emerged from the cabin, equally wide-eyed.

“‘Kemi…” he began, frozen in place, “Let’s talk first—”

But she cut him off with a scoff. Her hands trembled with a tumult of emotions—anger, pain, and betrayal—threatening to overwhelm her. She was on the verge of collapse, her mind reeling with questions. Was he going to explain his actions? No, there was only one question that demanded an answer.

“Did you… did you do it?” she asked through gritted teeth, her voice laced with accusation.

Satoru didn’t need to respond. As Akemi pushed the door open, her worst fears were confirmed as she saw you standing behind him, draped in nothing but a blanket. Tears welled in her eyes, and before she could think, her body reacted, her hand connecting with Gojou’s cheek in a resounding slap.

“You never changed!” she cried out, her voice cracking with anguish. “You’re still a cheater!”

Satoru struggled to deflect each fist she hurled at him, but her rage and despair overwhelmed any attempt to reason with her. She was consumed by her pain and the looming betrayal she anticipated, unable to comprehend that her worst fears were coming true before her eyes.

“‘Kemi, please,” Satoru pleaded in vain.

“...Akemi, I'm sorry,” you interjected, your voice heavy with remorse as you wiped your tears. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

Upon hearing your words, Akemi erupted. She disregarded your friendship, cast aside your shared memories, and denied that she had ever considered you a friend. Her tear-filled eyes bore into you with accusation. “Y-You,” she began, her voice choking with sobs, “You’re a hypocrite, Y/N!”

You remained silent, absorbing her words.

Akemi pressed on with her onslaught. “You’re a hypocrite! You’ve become the person you despised the most when you were married,” she accused, recalling the anguish you endured during Gojou’s affair. “You’re no better than Sera! And that’s why you’re miserable, and you’ll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me,” she paused, betrayed by the anguish in her voice, “Then jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. He’ll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!”

She fled before she could hear your response, but Satoru’s whispered apology lingered in the air, unclear of who its intended recipient was. At that moment, she didn’t care anymore. She raced back to her cabin, tears streaming down her face as she hastily packed her belongings.

She moved mechanically, tossing her belongings into her luggage while grappling with the overwhelming pain of his infidelity. Try as she might to focus on the task at hand, her tears flowed freely, and she surrendered to her grief, cradling her face in her hands.

Amidst her anguish, she couldn’t ignore the escalating pain in her pelvic region, a physical echo of the agony in her heart. Each sob seemed to intensify both sensations, leaving her feeling utterly shattered.

With that confrontation, Satoru faced a pivotal choice: to stay with you or to pursue Akemi. 

While Akemi had anticipated that he might choose you, she was taken aback when she swung the door open,

bags in hand, 

only to find Satoru Gojou standing on her doorstep.