#thank you for this anon 💛

[gregorygerwitz]

As a queer servicemember who did serve during dadt that got out the year before it was repealed - FUCK DADT, it ruined lives and fuck the fact that it took so long for our military members to get their dishonorables changed and the fact that they left homosexuality on the new dd214s so former service members still had it follow them.

As someone who has never served myself and only has internet research and old Navy stories from my grandfather and cousin and one former coworker who was briefly in the army to go by, and every single one of them is cishet, I appreciate your input immensely. and, quieter, thank you for this, specifically, because this is exactly my point, I just don't have all the exacts to back it up like this. I've been doing my best to not rant about it and start things because it's about a fictional character it isn't that deep but also... considering how many people it affected in real life, yes it is.

I can't tell if you're yelling at me, specifically, or just using the anon function in my inbox to protect yourself from the fandom having different opinions (I get that, zero judgement whatsoever, I've been doing that a lot the last ~week just so I can have my opinion out there and avoid the backlash that comes with that and protect my sanity), but I'm going to put my own thoughts here, too, either way, because I feel like we're on the same page?

I know that using DADT seems like an easy out for speedrunning Tommy's timeline and making him younger than he would logically be to fit Lou's age (45 isn't old and 45 doesn't "look" all that different from 39 unless you're being ageist but whatever), but it's really not. There are so many complications that come with it - such as a dishonorable discharge.

Someone reblogged one of my posts earlier this week (the same person my vague post was about today, and I'll keep it vague I'm not here to call people out directly this is my blog and I'm going to put my opinion on it, no one should go harassing this person about any of it because it's fictional characters, they're allowed to have different opinions and headcanons about things), with a comment about how the LAFD (and PD? it's less relevant and I don't want to scroll back in their blog or my notifs for something minor like that) was hiring people regardless of sexuality in the 90s. Good for them! That doesn't change the dishonorable discharge tho!

Like... please correct me if I'm wrong, because again, I have no personal experience with any of this, just too much time on my hands and too many military blorbos, but when a dishonorable discharge shows up on someone's record, it doesn't necessarily say why it's there. It doesn't say if it's related to DADT or some other incident in the field or whatever it is. So yes, while the LAFD might have been hiring queer people far sooner than that, they still aren't going to look at a guy who has a (recent!) dishonorable discharge and say "yeah, we're going to put him through our training, which costs taxpayers x amount of money, and then hire him and pay him to have someone's life and death in his hands."

DADT and all the discharges that came from it completely ruined lives and made going on with any kind of career, especially something for the government even on the level of firefighting or police work, all but impossible. It's not an easy out to make Tommy the same age as Lou. It's actually completely nonsensical because he never would have been allowed to even get within 100ft of the fire academy, let alone be a senior member of a firehouse in 2009 when Hen joined the 1118.

There is a reason it's called a dishonorable discharge, and it would have completely ruined his life, no matter what the reason was for it.

(also, re: the game I play with Kit and Cass, the complaint this morning puts Tommy's age at 55 💛)

[theghoulboysblog]

ryan spraying shane with macha out of his mouth twice in the span of a few minutes. drinking is hard. he’s trying his best 🙏

[retquits]

the way you drew Hayden slightly more thick I love that and the way you drew him is amazing af

hayden's a bigger gent!!! this is a hill i will die on!!!

[i-still-mask-because]

i still mask because i am immunocompromised and i want to live. i have been through so much in my life that the trauma never gives me a moment of peace, ive been suicidal for as long as i can remember, my future is bleak and uncertain even now, and i still want to live. i still value my disabled life even if nobody else does. there is love, joy, pleasure, kindness, and creation still left out there for me to find and i intend to find it. there is a better world still possible and i want to be here to help build it.

i still mask because masking my face allows me to unmask as an autistic person! i no longer have to constantly police myself to make sure i make the right facial expressions, especially at work and places where it might endanger me. unless it's too hot i like to choose creative designs to wear over my N95, and in that way i get to choose the face i show to the world. it soothes my dysphoria and gives me control over how i am perceived. i get to escape from technological surveillance in a way that others around me don't know they can too.

and masking allows me to be a safe person to other people whose lives depend on it too. every time i lock eyes with the only other person masking in any given room, i feel hope and relief, and i hope they feel it too even if we never speak or see each other again. we can't always save each other but we can try, and in doing so we can be a reminder to each other that all our lives have value, we all deserve so much more, and we're not alone in our loneliness. regardless of the outcome, we embrace each other's humanity by acting in kindness and solidarity.

masking empowers and frees me to move through the world in a way that honors the value of my own life and the lives of others, and opens up new possibilities of self-expression and self-defense for me. it's one of the bricks we can lay to build that better world. it's not easy but i am proud to do it.

😷

[swiftmitsu]

if you receive this, you make somebody happy! go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get one back, even better! <3 (it says to send it to your followers, but you don't follow me, I'm sending this to you bc I really like your acc, and you make me happy by posting your art. And make my day better. And you're a nice person.♡)

anon, my dear anon.

how dare you make me sob

i’m really glad i’m able to make you happy with my silly little drawings euueehehheueh 🥺🥺

i’m throwing all my affection at you. personally. i’m barging into your room and flooding you with affection 💛🌟✨✨💫🌟✨💫🌟💛✨💫🌟✨💛

[yelena-bellova]

I happened across a thread on Twitter of widows talking about how much Francesca’s story meant to them. To them, an essential part of it was having a loving, happy first marriage and there still being the possibility of a happy, loving relationship after such a great loss.

They were upset not because of the genderbend, but because of the implication that Francesca fell in love with Michaela at first sight while married to John which fundamentally alters the message of the story in which they had found so much consolation.

It’s unfair to dismiss what they’re now feeling and call them bigots when the beauty and meaning they found in Francesca’s story hasn’t been altered by the genderbend (they don’t care about that at all!) but the callous destruction of the first love which they took as the showrunner and writers misunderstanding and disrespecting the essence of her story.

It’s not annoyance over the change to a character, it’s grief over the loss of the hope Francesca’s story offered.

I appreciate you being brave enough to acknowledge that there are some fans with valid criticism of the writing choices. 💛

Oh my gosh 🥺 I think that’s the one pov I hadn’t seen yet.

See THAT’S a wildly valid point!! They’ve taken so much of the beauty and fragility of Francesca’s story away by making her all googly-eyed over Michaela right after marrying John. I can’t fathom why they would decide to take such a different route than the book when the whole point of that pairing is discovering love and attraction in the midst of grief.

Gah. The more people discuss all this, the more angry I get at Shondaland and Jess Brownell.

[soosoosoup]

Broppy fruit theme stickers would be so cute!!!!!

… how did I not think of that.

You are so right!!! That would be super cute, what a great idea🍊🧡🍑!!!!

[pirateprincessjess]

Miss Jessica. You are very cool, and I like your obscure knowledge of kaiju and pinball. I hope your weekend is very pleasant. Also, you and your girlfriend seem very happy together, and I mean that as the highest of compliments. Maintaining a relationship is no easy skill. Goodbye.

Aww thank you so much! We have a busy weekend planned! (We’re gonna play Twilight Imperium!) and I’m really looking forward to it!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend too!!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

IDK if your talit (or future ones) can be done in shell stitch, but shell stich is my absolute favorite for scarves and blankets and such because the edges stay straight and it's hard to drop/add stitches.

I completely forgot about that stitch!!!

Guys. Guyyyyys. Look at this stitch:

Would it look weird if I did this stitch in the blank, empty white part of the tallit, do y'all think?

Honestly, I think I'd really enjoy this, but I worry that it might be a weird transition... Ohh the options...

[gorejo]

already a year with forbes gojo??? you really blessed us with him, thank you ae <3

aww nooo thank you for reading and loving him !!! gahh can you believe it’s been over a year with this booger ?? <3

[aleksanderscult]

Alina rejecting Aleksander's advances meta? His and her thought process.

Ask and you shall receive, anon😌❤️

So, I searched to find how many times Alina rejected Aleksander's advances and I located three. One of them is not really a rejection from his love advances but I consider it pretty important and I will explain why.

(Cut below because this meta is TOO LONG. I hope you find time to read this😭)

This is the moment I was talking about.

It's when the Darkling found and captured Alina and Mal and he is ready to put the collar around her neck.

(by the way, I've analyzed this moment here as well)

Just like I said, it's not really a love advance towards her, but at the same time it is...a bit??

What we need to understand here is that this is the first time Alina feels disgusted and flinches from the Darkling's touch. She has never done this before. And the Darkling has also never seen her recoil from his touch. From him.

AND this is the first time they meet after their steamy make out in the Winter fete. Back then Alina giggled when she was with him, returned his kisses and pushed her body closer to him. The Darkling liked that, primarily because he knew that Alina was now under his thumb. She was willing to him and responded to what he needed her to do. But also he saw his feelings requited from a girl that had the potential to be like him and with whom together could have a long future.

Now we see the opposite.

After what happened at the party, the Darkling had kinda gotten used to the idea that Alina was open to him. And now that she flinched from him (for the first time, I repeat) he gets really angry and hurt.

Why?

1) She is no longer willing or responsive to him since here she shows signs of rebellion and defiance (and the Darkling wants loyal people around him that do as he says).

2) The fact that after what happened between them to the Winter fete, this is her first reaction to his touch after some weeks of separation make him feel hurt. Just imagine you make out with your crush thinking everything is going to plan and then the next time you meet, he/she doesn't want to touch you. Ouch!

3) Because a few minutes ago he witnessed Alina and Mal confessing their feelings and kissing in front of his face (again I repeat, this is the first time he saw Alina after THEIR OWN make out). He saw Alina's love towards Mal and how she welcomed his advances and now that Aleksander himself merely tried to push aside her tunic, she flinched. So she was welcoming to Mal's touch but now she's not to his own. *Aleksander's rage and jealousy intensifies*

This change of hers made his feelings go 💥💥

Now for Alina.

I believe that even though she feels disgusted and fury for the Darkling, she also feels hurt and betrayed.

Here lies a powerful Grisha that she thought cared about her, her future and Ravka. Alina felt her whole life unwelcomed, unimportant and invisible. The Darkling made her feel the opposite of these things and she really wanted to believe him and his good will. For the first time, she had found a purpose. She had a unique power that gave her status and a handsome young man believed in her abilities and herself. She even fell in love with him.

For the first time in her life, she felt that she had it all. A home where she belonged to, a friend that understood her, other people like her and a man that seemed to like her.

Truth is, it's no wonder that she felt that hurt. And that bitterness made her turn against the Darkling completely. She no longer believes in his feelings for her (that flash of anger she saw here means nothing to her and she doesn't think about it), in his thoughts for the future, in his concern for Ravka. All that because she lost the things she had those few months. As revenge and out of her own desire to save Ravka, she wanted to thwart his plans, kill the stag herself and take its power for herself.

This is the famous chapel scene in S&S. The scene where the Darkling gave Alina a choice: leave everyone behind and come with me. Otherwise I'll kill them.

Alina was a real boss here. And people need to acknowledge her intelligence more. She's a quick study and suspected for months that she could use the connection she shared with the Darkling for her own benefit and purpose. She just had to put on a good show and pretend that she had really given herself up to Aleksander.

As for Aleksander, this was a moment of great victory. The author has confirmed that the Darkling had wanted Alina both because of her powers and because he had feelings for her.

(I think what we can take from here is that the Darkling had real feelings for her AND wanted her power)

And here he almost had both. Alina's love and resignation to him and the power of the light, all in the palm of his hand. That gave him great excitement to the point where he lowered his guard, bent to kiss her and became vulnerable to Alina, something that the latter took advantage of.

(I'M SORRY I NEED TO MAKE A SHORT PAUSE. Are we really gonna ignore the fact that the Darkling kept witnessing his plans being screwed up because he was too busy simping over Alina??? Like here he was "Oh mY gOD sHe'S FinAlLy heRe wItH Me, ShE cHoSe mE, i WaNt tO kISs HeR!!" Like bro get your mind in your evil plans for once😭😭 #Kingofsimping)

Not in a million years he suspected that Alina was lying to him and was trying to get close to him to kill him (because he was too busy giggling, twirling his hair and kicking his feet having Alina between his arms).

In fact when he realized it, he became frightened and caused him great pain since creating nichevo'ya is agonizing and excruciating for the body and soul. This twist was a real shock for him. He didn't think Alina would ever consider using merzost against him, let alone do it for real.

For Alina this taste of power was intoxicating and took pleasure from it because not only she was killing the Darkling but also she was using magic. A powerful and addictive thing for the Grisha. She felt more and more confident as the minutes passed and proud of herself for what she managed to do.

The aftermath is even more exciting.

The Darkling didn't hate her for it. On the contrary, he felt admiration, surprisement and was even more convinced that she was the one for him. A strong, powerful person that can match his own power. An equal.

Alina felt satisfied with his awe and now has confidence not only in her powers and what she can do with them but also in her way of dealing with Aleksander. In this scene she even used a bit of seduction towards him (OUR GIRL, PEOPLE🥹🥹🛐🛐).

Alina becoming more powerful, proving herself a capable and clever Grisha and trying to use her charm to get under the Darkling's skin, all these have made the latter feel strong sexual feelings for her and he even begs to let him touch her and kiss her. Let him have his way with her after so many months of being apart. In his eyes, she is worthy now to know his name, to gift it to her alongside his heart and once more he lets his guard down and shows her his soft, vulnerable side. For now, for just a few minutes he is Aleksander Morozova. The burdened, damaged boy that is buried deep beneath him, almost dead after four hundred years of cruelty. Not the Darkling.

As for Alina, she loves this side of him but most of all it hurts her. It stings 'cause she sees the shadow of a boy that could have been if Ravka was more tolerant and the world kinder to him. She feels sorry for this person.

But she also can't deny that she desires him as much as he desires her. Just like she said, they are bound to one another. Now and always. A bond that she doesn't and will never share with anyone else. Two sides of the same coin. Light and dark. Like calls to like.

Aaaaand the moment is ruined.🥲

Alina gets a reality check and can't put aside her bitterness and fury for what the Darkling has done. Her feelings for him are so conflicted. On one hand, she wants him, understands him and feels sorry for him and on the other, she is unable to forget what he has done and what he is.

And the Darkling?

The Darkling is done LMAO

Really he wants to have her for ONCE in his miserable life but something always happens and gets in their way. He's patient, yes. But for THIS he's not. He was so close. And this time was kinda different and special since he opened his heart to her.

(Personally, if you ask me (😌) I think that he doesn't only feel frustrated by her constant rejection but also it makes him feel more determined to get her. It's like every time she says no, every time she pushes him away, he wants her more instead of less)

Just like I said in the first example of her rejection, Alina doesn't believe that he wants her or loves her. Only that she tries to manipulate her by playing with her feelings. She thinks she has it all figured out.

And the Darkling mocks her for it.

He's like "You think you know what happens, what I want to do with you. Wow, you're so clever, bravo 😒👏🤦" in a sarcastic voice.

Also, another thing that I absolutely love here is when he puts his shirt back on. It's like a metaphor of him putting his "shield", his tough exterior on, putting an end to the vulnerable side of him that we saw earlier.

A few minutes ago he was speaking softly, smiling, murmuring.

Now he spits out his comments scornfully, snares at her and his voice is once again described as cool and cold.

An amazing scene.🤌

Alina must feel both defiant and afraid here. He threatens everything and everyone she loves and feels a little backed up in a corner, helpless by his threats since she knows what he can do and how he always means what he says. Still she won't give up that easily.

For the Darkling, I've already commented on this scene and his feelings on the 5th part of his jealousy moments meta.

He's furious that she rejected him. And while two minutes ago he was soft with her, now he threatens her safety and freedom. Making sure to her that he will get her wherever she is and with whom.

Not to mention he's quite livid for the fact that Alina is so willing with Mal (a freaking otkazat'sya, a mere mortal) and his advances while with him she is wary, reproachful and distant. That sparks his jealousy, infuriates him and hurts him. I mean it's quite interesting that he mentions him now even though Mal was mentioned only once in this scene (when Alina questioned the Darkling's choice to appear to her on S&S with Mal's face) but still he's not relevant here at this moment.

(small note: I also love how he says "The rules of this game are about to change" when he also said it before "I'm weary of this game". He's like "From now on I'll have the upper hand. You won't toy with me anymore. Neither with my plans, nor with my feelings")

Guys, this scene is MAJESTIC😩😚👌

So, in a nutshell, Alina thinks she can no longer be controlled by the Darkling and his schemes but also she knows that he's someone that gets her. That understands her. And that creates a contradiction in her. The feelings of desire and hate are powerful and make her relationship with the Darkling intense. More intense than what she has with Mal or Nikolai. Add to that the feeling of pity she has for him and we've got an emotionally confused Alina. It's not that she doesn't want to surrender herself to the Darkling. It's that she can't because she has been shamed for her attraction towards him by Baghra and Mal (even by the author in a way).

The Darkling is a character that is used to get what he wants from people. Especially the ones that are easily manipulated. But meeting so much resistance from Alina makes her more desirable and interesting in his eyes. Her stubbornness and boldness are (for him) admirable traits that he shares too. But at the same time it annoys him. For him, everything would be easier if she was an easy victim. But also at the same time he likes it since it's proof that she can be his equal. And a worthy one.

(DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 'CAUSE I HOPE I MAKE SENSE HERE😭😭)

He's such a complicated character and both of them have complicated feelings and I need to stop now or this meta will never end.🫠

Hope I answered your questions, anon! If I forgot a scene you wanted to see answered just say so.🥰❤️

[tadpolesonalgae]

Welcome back tabby!!! :))

I have a question, will you be updating cbmthy anytime soon? I just like to know when, even if its a large time frame.

-☀

ps. Take care of yourself

Hiya!!

So this was sent in….[hides behind papers]…about a week and a half ago

I’m very sorry for my lack of prompt replies, please forgive me 😔 on the topic of cbmthy though, since I didn’t answer in time for chapter 21, I’ll answer for chapter 22, and I can say it’ll either be ready by this Friday (unlikely, but more improbable things have happened) or the following Friday, next week!

(I’m sorry that’s so vague 😭 I promise there’ll be some exciting stuff in ch. 22 though to make up for it 🧡💛)

[official-dandelion-posts]

Hey, thanks so much for running this blog. I really, really like dandelions, and have since I was child. Even more when I realised I was trans, and especially when I overcame a lot of mental health issues. The dandelion flower symbolises a lot for me (transformation, survival despite harsh conditions, and my childhood in general.)

Following this blog and seeing dandelions pop up every now and again is really nice and makes me smile.

Peace and love and dandelions forever 💛

Hi!! I am so sorry that it took me so long to answer this (tumblr was being awful at giving me notifications again). I have spookily similar reasons for my love of dandelions and this ask means a lot. Running this blog is an absolute pleasure and the fact that i have actual people following it is both shocking and very delightful. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me and I'm so proud of you. That does sound slightly cliché but I mean it very sincerely

Peace and love and queer joy and dandelions forever 💛💛💛💛💛

[retquits]

Don’t risk permanent lung damage. Go to the ER. This is the only body you have - we use lungs at all times, and if they get messed up you’ll feel it for the rest of your days. Sincerely, someone with a lot of family members that have lung issues years after they tried to tough out problems.

cw health talk /

i did end up going to the ER last night! ran a couple tests, but unfortunately the doctor couldn't find anything apparently wrong (i was getting enough oxygen in my blood, throat/lungs didn't sound abnormal, x-rays and swabs came back normal, etc.)

so he ended up giving me a little anxiety medication just in cases it was some sort of stress response! i do feel a little better today overall, and at least the medication makes me eepy (￣o￣) . z Z

[i-still-mask-because]

I still mask because I want to be on the right side of history.

Masking is uncomfortable and inconvenient, but I know it's the right choice for me bc it aligns with my morals and values. I believe in protecting others as much as I believe in protecting myself. I don't want to get anyone sick! And I believe, many years from now when they teach the history of the Covid pandemic, history will smile on the helpers and the doers and the ones who continued to mask.

I often feel so depressed at the current state of the Covid pandemic, but I feel hopeful and confident in my choice to respond by continuing to mask and avoid high-risk events or situations. And I sincerely love and appreciate everyone who is doing the same.

❤️

😷

[swiftmitsu]

Heyo! As another anon that often comes on by, I thought I'd take a moment, even if to just to say hi. The lore behind your blog is just oh so much to see, I like to mess around with you altho you don't know me. Minus all of the chaos and absolutely beautiful war, there is something that I must say, something truly from the core. You're indeed an amazing being, that I know is true. I just thought I'd say, I really appreciate you. <3 Your art is very tasty and your vide is real unique. If one is looking for someone as kind and caring, no longer shall they seek. Hope you have a lovely day or night wherever you are. Remember, just keep shining, keep shining like the star that you are.

-Jester

hey.

hey jester anon.

i

i cant even

i know i got this A WHILE AGO.

but when i first saw it. I HOPE YOU KNOW I FREAKING CRIED. (/vpos though, it was good)

I JUST.

i KEPT REREADING THIS.

thank you so so SO. much. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

once again, i wish i could EXPRESS JUST HOW MUCH THIS FREAKING MEANS TO ME.

actually im gonna print this. going up on the art wall so i can look at it everyday.