#thank you ice age

[bedforddanes75]

and when i say fuck me into next week

[fearlessinger]

i would love to know your thoughts about how Will, Austin and Kayla are Apollo’s foils!!

Heyyy I’m so sorry this took me so long but… in my defense… it ended up being very long? I’d been meaning to do a deep dive into Apollo’s relationship with his children for a while, and you gave me the perfect excuse. 

Starting from the obvious: Apollo’s children are mini mirrors of him. They clearly inherited a lot of his personality traits, both the good and the less good. Apollo’s ready to acknowledge the latter right off the bat, but it takes him until the very last book to admit that their kindness, their compassion, their willingness to stand up for the weak – for their disgraced father, to whom they remain inexplicably loyal even when he has nothing to offer them in return... they got that from him too. Will, Kayla and Austin reflect back to him his BEST qualities, finally allowing him to recognize and take ownership of them after an entire life of being made to feel like he had to suppress them. I’ve talked about this before so I won’t belabor the point here.

The other way in which Apollo and his children foil each other is perhaps more subtle but I think even more interesting: they have complementary arcs re: their relationship with their father.

Apollo begins the story having lost all faith in his father already. He doesn’t really believe in his father’s mercy, in his father’s compassion, in his father’s love anymore. He’s not surprised by his father’s cruelty, especially not when it’s directed at him. He’s under no illusion about who Zeus is, how he operates, what he’s motivated by. It takes him 4 books to call him abusive outright, but he’s been drawing comparisons between him and Nero since book 1. It’s in fact precisely the similarities between the two, between Nero’s treatment of Meg and Zeus’s treatment of Apollo himself, that first led Apollo to realize Meg is abused too. 

When Apollo discovers that he’s bleeding red, he immediately knows what has happened. He understands that he’s been sentenced to death. He tries to convince himself that this is just like his previous punishments, that if he does everything right he will be forgiven and taken back in, and, being the incredible liar that he is, he makes it almost sound believable. But he knows, deep down, that it’s all bullshit. 

I turned my face to the sky. ‘If you want to punish me, Father, be my guest, but have the courage to hurt me directly, not my mortal companion. BE A MAN!’

To my surprise, the skies remained silent. Lightning did not vaporize me.

And yet, it takes Apollo 4 books to finally say the word “abuse” in relation to his father. He keeps telling himself surely this is enough. Surely this is enough suffering to satisfy Father. He’ll take pity on me now. He can’t really want me killed. He’ll change his mind. 

He clings to that hope, to that fantasy, as a last ditch attempt at denying the truth and, most of all, the inevitable consequences of it. 

I suppose I could have raged at him and called him bad names. We were alone. He probably expected it. Given his awkward self-consciousness at the moment, he might even have let me get away with it unpunished.

But it would not have changed him. It would not have made anything different between us.

Apollo admires Percy and Jason for the fearlessness with which they stood up and spoke their mind to Zeus. But at the end of his trials, at the end of his character arc, Apollo chooses to bow his head and remain silent, because unlike Percy, unlike Jason, he knows, and finally accepts, that his father is a lost cause. Zeus won’t change. Zeus doesn’t want to change. He cannot be saved. 

Because that’s what this was all about. Apollo refusing to give up on Zeus no matter how much it hurt him, right up until the moment it would have literally killed him, because despite everything, still, Apollo couldn’t bring himself to believe that there is nothing he can do to redeem his father. It may not look like it at first glance, but a big part of Apollo’s journey in TOA is about accepting that this is yet another choice his father has taken from him.

So Apollo doesn’t rage at his father. He doesn’t call him out on his behavior. He finally accepts that there’s no point in it. In every way that matters, now, to him, his father is already dead.

Will, Kayla and Austin, on the other hand, start out with a… quite frankly astounding amount of faith in their father, all things considered. But just like there was a caveat to Apollo's lack of faith in Zeus, there's a caveat to the kids's faith in Apollo too. 

There’s no doubt in their hearts that he loves them. Apollo pays attention to them. Not nearly enough, of course, but enough that Will considers a prolonged period of silence on his father’s part not just weird, but outright alarming. Enough that the thing that they all consider irrefutable proof of his identity is him recognizing them and smiling at them. 

It’s a tragically low bar, but one that none of the other gods manage to clear. Apollo’s children feel acknowledged. They feel cherished. They feel at ease interacting with him. They know he won’t mind if they bombard him with questions. He won’t mind if they tease him. He won’t even mind if they yell at him. We see them do all these things within minutes to a day of his arrival at camp, seemingly completely unthinkingly. We see Will confess his insecurities to Apollo the moment Apollo asks. Heck, Will confesses to Apollo that he made a wrong call with the nectar and almost killed him completely unprompted, as soon as Apollo’s awake. It doesn’t seem to even cross his mind that Apollo might get mad at him for it.

Will, Kayla and Austin believe their father to be nice. They believe him to be safe. They believe he means well, not just with them, but in general. 

‘Jason is making that storm,’ Nico said. ‘If you fire the onager, you’ll kill him and Piper, and –’

‘Good!’ Octavian yelled. ‘They’re traitors! All traitors!’

‘Listen to me,’ Will tried again. ‘This is not what Apollo would want. Besides, your robes are –’

Will’s conviction that his father would NEVER agree to the slaughter of innocent demigods, not even if that’s the only way to defeat the gods’ greatest enemy, is so unshakeable he repeats it twice: once in front of the roman army, and once again as he tries to convince Octavian that even just a handful of lives is too high a price.

Damien reluctantly handed it over. I leaned toward the guitar case by Woodrow’s feet. The satyr leaped several inches into the air.

Austin laughed. “Relax, Woodrow. He’s just getting another string.”

There’s no way Austin doesn’t know the story of Marsyas from Will’s mythology books. In fact, his reaction here indicates that he does, because it’s only with that context in mind that Austin would find Woodrow’s reaction funny as opposed to confusing. But it doesn’t seem to quite click in Austin’s brain that the cruel god of the myth is his dad. Because Austin's dad would never hurt a fly. It’s simply laughable to think that anyone would have reason to be scared of him.

It’s worth noting that the rest of the CHB demigods don’t ever seem overly intimidated by Apollo either, which makes perfect sense considering how he presented himself to the world prior to his fall from grace. He used to act like a total clown. That's how the campers seem to think of him, and, to an extent, it's how his children think of him too. For all the faith they have in his character, they don't really seem to have a lot of faith in his ability to do… much of anything. 

‘We don’t know what’s going on at Delphi,’ Will continued. ‘My dad hasn’t answered any prayers, or appeared in any dreams … I mean, all the gods have been silent, but this isn’t like Apollo. Something’s wrong.’

Across the table, Jake Mason grunted. ‘Probably this Roman dirt-wipe who’s leading the attack – Octavian what’s-his-name. If I was Apollo and my descendant was acting that way, I’d go into hiding out of shame.’

‘I agree,’ Will said. ‘I wish I was a better archer… I wouldn’t mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father’s gifts to stop this war.’ He looked down at his own hands with distaste. ‘Unfortunately, I’m just a healer.’

The phrasing of this bit is a little ambiguous. Was Will agreeing to the suggestion that his father might be hiding out of shame rather than take action against his descendant? We can’t say for sure, but I’m inclined to think so.

Will believes his father cares about him and his siblings. He believes his father doesn’t want any deaths on his or the gods’ account. But he also seems to have absolutely no expectation that his father would intervene to prevent these deaths. He feels that it’s HIS responsibility to stop the war, to stop Octavian. Of course, his father would never wish hurt on any of his descendants. His father would never hurt a fly. He is kind. Silly. A bit of a clown. He visits them in dreams. He answers their prayers. He can't seem to ever be there for them when it would matter most. 

This is really the crux of the problem. Apollo’s children trust him. They don’t trust him to be able to protect them. 

But they don’t hold this against him. How could they? They know him. They know it’s not because Apollo doesn’t care. It has to be because he can’t. Literally can’t. Gods can’t meddle in mortal affairs. And… is it possible… that maybe… maybe Dad's power and overall competence is a bit overhyped in the stories? 

He sure can't seem to be able to put together a decent poem. 

Kayla squeezed my hand. Her archer ’s fingers were rough and calloused. “It’s okay, Apollo… Dad. We’ll help you.”

Austin nodded. “Kayla’s right. We’re in this together. If anybody gives you trouble, Kayla will shoot them. Then I’ll curse them so bad they’ll be speaking in rhyming couplets for weeks.” 

Kayla and Austin are such kids at the beginning of THO: self centered, blunt to the point of rudeness, shamelessly thrilled to learn everything about this crazy thing that just happened to their dad. It’s heartening to see. But as soon as they realize that Apollo is actually struggling, THEY are the ones who rush to reassure him, earnestly promising that everything will be alright, that they will support and defend him. 

Like Apollo, who appointed himself his mother's protector mere days after being born, tasked himself with slaying the monster that had been tormenting her, felt an obligation to cut down whoever would dare badmouth her, his children too feel a responsibility to be his protectors, to defend his honor. Like him, who only ever thinks about his mother in terms of what he can do for her, who has no delusions that she could be his salvation in time of need, his children too are far more preoccupied with helping him than they are with anything that they think they might get from him in return.

It's the last thing Apollo would have wanted for them. He was so relieved to hear them worry about the Olympics and youtube views, and then utterly ashamed to realize that they care about him more. As much as he admires his mother, Apollo did not intentionally model himself after her in this respect. 

But just like Leto, Apollo doesn't really have a choice. Or, well. Perhaps that’s not quite true. He might have one, but it's one he is not willing to consider. Not until the end of this story at least, not until he finally, definitively accepts that his father will never change, that his father cannot be saved.

“A father should give more to his children than he takes,” Apollo thinks in despair, looking at his children who are ready to give and give and give to him, even as he's left with nothing to repay them with, but in truth he is only reaping what he sowed. His kids only know of him what he’s let them see.

“That was so beautiful!” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “What was that song?”

I blinked. “It’s called tuning.”

“Yeah, Valentina, control yourself,” Damien chided, though his eyes were red. “It wasn’t that beautiful.”

“No.” Chiara sniffled. “It wasn’t.”

Only Austin seemed unaffected. His eyes shone with what looked like pride, though I didn’t understand why he would feel that way.

Was this the first time Austin actually heard his father play music without intentionally flubbing it? Based on what we saw of Apollo in the books preceding this one, I’d wager yes. But Apollo is taken aback by his son’s reaction. He doesn’t seem to have realized yet how deep an impact his habitual routine of feigning ineptitude actually had on his kids. 

He’s not really making any effort to correct their assumptions either. He never protests when his children explain to him stuff that he already knows. He doesn’t offer advice when Kayla and Austin debate the best way to patch Connor’s injuries up, defers to Will’s judgment when doing infirmary work. 

Granted, the kids know what they are doing. They technically don’t need his help in these matters. It just doesn’t seem to occur to Apollo that they might appreciate it anyway. It also doesn’t seem like he’s given any consideration to the fact that his trust in their abilities can only be worth so much to them, when they are given no reason to think he knows enough to evaluate them. 

It must have felt so good for Asclepius to hear Apollo say “my son taught me this thing”. But that was a long time ago, and Asclepius knew his father in a way that Apollo’s children quite simply aren’t afforded in the present day. 

To make matters worse, he is genuinely horrifyingly far from at the top of his game at this point in time, and not handling it well at all. In a stunning display of immaturity, he makes a whole spectacle of his poor performance at the archery range. 

It’s no surprise then, that nobody listens to Apollo’s pleas to not attack Peaches, not even Kayla. In a combat situation, of course she trusts her own instincts more than her father’s. Neither she nor her brothers take Apollo's completely justified concerns about having a "death race" within the labyrinth seriously. They don’t listen to him when he insists that the game should be at least put on hold until the prophetic trees situation is under control. They don’t even ask him to help them with the infirmary, not until Will is left alone and absolutely needs the spare hands. 

As much as he tries to hide it, it’s clear that Will has very little faith in Apollo’s ability to rescue Kayla and Austin. And is it any wonder? How can Apollo save his children now that he’s a mortal, weaker than even the weakest demigod, when even as a powerful immortal that was beyond his power? 

Apollo couldn't save Lee, or Michael, or the rest of Will's unnamed siblings who died in the battle of Manhattan. He gave them gifts – weapons, to help them in the fight. He was not, he could not be there for them when the weapons ran out. 

Now, the only thing that’s changed is that Apollo doesn’t even have enough power left to protect himself. 

As soon as they were gone, Will gave me an apologetic smile. “They’re in shock. We all are. It’ll take some time to get used to…whatever this is.”

“You do not seem shocked,” I said.

Will laughed under his breath. “I’m terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else. Let’s get you on your feet.”

Of course Will is terrified. He easily admits this to Apollo, but then immediately changes topic, relieving him of the burden of having to reply. He knows Apollo has no reassurances to offer him at the moment. And he loves him. He doesn’t want to make this any harder for him than it already is. 

Will’s used to having to manage his own terror alone anyway. Keep it together for everyone else. He can be the rock for his father too. So he smiles, he stays calm, he gives all the support he can while pretending that he himself requires none. He commits to this course of action so thoroughly that Nico feels compelled to intercede, to try to communicate Will’s needs to Apollo in some way: 

Nico rested his hand on Will’s shoulder. “Apollo, we were worried. Will was especially.” [...]

“I’ll be fine.” I pulled on my jeans. “I have to save Meg.”

“Let us help you,” Nico said. “Tell us where she is and I can shadow-travel—” 

Nico's attempt is still pretty indirect. He’s trying to be considerate of Will’s feelings, respectful of Will’s choices. But the meaning of his words is obvious: Please, don’t do this to him. Will's not gonna be able to survive losing you too. 

Perhaps the most interesting facet of Will’s coping strategy of repressing, repressing, repressing is the following:

“Gee, thanks….”

I got the feeling that he almost said Dad but managed to stop himself. [...]

“Guys,” Will interrupted, “why don’t you run to the Big House and tell Chiron that our…our patient is conscious.

Kayla and Austin alternate between using Dad and Apollo with no discernable pattern, seemingly at random, which makes sense considering how young they are. It's likely that they've known their father – properly known him at least – for little more than a year at this point in time. They are familiar with him, but not so familiar that thinking of him as Dad is second nature to them.

But Will has known Apollo longer, and to him it is. He so clearly struggles to not call Apollo Dad. He catches himself right before saying it twice in their first scene together, despite the fact that Apollo looks nothing like himself, and nothing like someone who could plausibly be Will’s dad either. But Will recognizes him, even though he wishes he didn't, and the word is automatically on the tip of his tongue. It slips out of him anyway, seemingly without him noticing, at dinner that night, while he and his siblings argue against Apollo that the planned activities for the next day are a perfectly acceptable level of dangerous:

“It’s different now,” Austin told me. “Since Daedalus died…I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. Doesn’t feel so evil. Not quite as deadly.”

“Oh, that’s hugely reassuring. So of course you decided to do three-legged races through it.”

Will coughed. “The other thing, Dad…Nobody wants to disappoint Harley.”

It doesn’t happen again, though. Will makes sure of it. 

Maybe he thinks that as long as he does not say the word, there’s still a chance that this will turn out to be just a really weird nightmare. 

Maybe he fears that if he does say it, he’ll be tempted to lean on Apollo for support, and feels that he can’t afford to do that when Apollo is barely holding himself upright, and seemingly eager to throw what little health and safety he still has away like it’s worth nothing. 

Maybe he’s afraid of getting any more attached than he already is, now that Apollo could quite literally die on him at any moment. 

Maybe, even if he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, doesn’t want it to be true, a part of him is actually angry with his dad for putting him through all this, willingly or not. 

(And speaking of foiling, and of Apollo and his kids being mirrors of each other, I think it’s worth mentioning that Apollo, for his part, does the same thing in reverse. He refuses to call Will, Kayla and Austin “my children”, feeling undeserving of the title of father, until the moment Kayla and Austin are stolen from him. He only allows himself to acknowledge the connection when it will hurt him the most, but at the same time, also, when he is finally in a position to do something for them, as opposed to them offering to do things for him.) 

And then. 

Apollo doesn't die. And not only does he not die, he brings back with him Kayla and Austin and Meg and all of the missing campers safe and sound. 

Suddenly, everybody’s looking to him for guidance, taking directions from him, deferring to his leadership. 

“I think there’s a way,” I said. “But I’ll need your help.”

Austin balled his fists. “Anything you need. We’re ready to fight.” [...]

“Hey!” called Nico di Angelo. He and Will scrambled over the dunes, still dripping from their swim in the canoe lake.

“What’s the plan?” Will seemed calm, but I knew him well enough by now to tell that inside he was as charged as a bare electrical wire. [...]

“What’s the plan?” they ask him. And also “How do you know it will work? What if you fail?” They don’t feel the need to stop questioning him, but they trust his answers. They trust that as absurd as his idea to take down the colossus might sound, it’s their best shot. They win. They all live.

Of course, Apollo only gives us a terse summary of the aftermath of the battle. To tell us about how happy, how proud of him his children are, would completely ruin this nice self deprecation thing that he has going.

The next time we see Will, Kayla and Austin interact with their father, it’s 4 books and almost 6 months later, after Apollo has finally resolved that he must make the effort to respect other people’s choice to believe in him, even though he thinks himself unworthy:

‘Dad!’ Will shot to his feet. He ran down the steps and tackled me in a hug.

“Dad!” is the first word that we hear Will say. And it’s not a slip up this time. It’s all Dad, Dad, Dad the whole book. Will doesn’t call him “Apollo” once. 

This change in Will’s attitude is, in all likelihood, not just due to the events of THO. He, and Kayla and Austin too, must have heard accounts of what Apollo has done in between then and now, not only from Meg (who is at this point simultaneously Apollo’s biggest critic and his biggest hype machine. A powerful combination), but from Camp Jupiter and the Waystation too. And I’d bet that those accounts were nowhere near as dismissive of Apollo’s actions as Apollo’s own narration is. 

We see everything filtered through Apollo’s still very biased perspective, and we know how much he doubts and berates himself. We know that he’s more acutely aware of his mortality now than he’s ever been, and that he’s readying himself to make the final sacrifice. 

But Will is not scared anymore. Not like before. There’s no trace in him of the barely concealed terror that gripped him all through THO. He’s still just as eager to offer Apollo support, but now he seeks out his father’s support in turn. 

It only takes one word from Apollo for Will to immediately confide to him his worries about Nico, his hope that it will be good for Nico to have something else to focus on, if they can help Apollo accomplish this task. Helping Apollo is almost more an excuse to help Nico in Will’s mind at this point. He tells this to Apollo before he even tells his boyfriend. He looks to Apollo for support. Quite literally.

Nico seemed to realize, at the same time I did, that Will hadn’t shared all the lines of the prophecy with him.

‘William Andrew Solace,’ Nico said, ‘do you have something to confess?’

‘I was going to mention it.’ Will looked at me pleadingly, as if he couldn’t make himself say the lines.

‘The son of Hades, cavern-runners’ friend,’ I recited. 

This becomes a bit of a running gag, even: Will begging Apollo with his eyes to say the awkward thing in his place. It’s a stark contrast to his behavior at the beginning of THO, when he felt compelled to give Apollo an out whenever any sort of awkwardness manifested itself.

At one point this happens:

‘So what do we do about the rest of them?’ Will asked. ‘Dad, you sure you can’t …’ He gestured at our bovine audience. ‘I mean, you’ve got a god-level bow and two quivers of arrows at basically point-blank range.’

It’s the first time we see Will make an explicit, direct request of Apollo. A small one, sure, but I think the casualness of it, coupled with everything else, is indicative of how fast and comfortably Will’s settling into the habit of relying – actually relying on his dad.

He trusts his father’s judgment to the point that he doesn’t hesitate even for a second to give Apollo nectar when Apollo asks, despite the fact that his father is still technically mortal at the time, and drinking nectar should still technically kill him, as Will no doubt remembers, because the discovery caused him a fair amount of grief at the beginning of THO. 

In practice, their situation hasn’t changed that much overall since the first book. They are still facing impossible odds. Apollo isn’t any less prone to concussions, he’s not any less vulnerable or fallible than he was when they last parted ways. 

Yet, Will’s expectations of his father have changed on a fundamental level. Apollo doesn’t seem helpless to him anymore. Far from it. And his praise means more to Will, now, than Will can manage to express in words.

Nico smirked. ‘Friends, meet my glow-in-the-dark boyfriend.’

‘Could you not make a big deal about it?’ Will asked.

I was speechless. How could anyone not make a big deal about this? As far as demigod powers went, glowing in the dark was perhaps not as showy as skeleton-summoning or tomato-vine mastery, but it was still impressive. And, like Will’s skill at healing, it was gentle, useful and exactly what we needed in a pinch.

‘I’m so proud,’ I said.

Will’s face turned the colour of sunlight shining through a glass of cranberry juice. ‘Dad, I’m just glowing . I’m not graduating at the top of my class.’

‘I’ll be proud when you do that, too,’ I assured him.

We’re never told why Will was embarrassed of his glowing talent, to the point that he apparently hardly ever showed it off, and even on this occasion had to be coaxed into doing it by Nico. If I had to guess, I’d say probably because it’s yet another ability of his that completely lacks offensive power. But Apollo thinks it’s amazing, and he leaves Will no room to argue otherwise, and the next time we see Will, he’s glowing brighter than he ever has, bright enough to be mistaken by Nero’s soldiers for a god, and loudly declaring himself his father’s son in front of everybody. 

It’s easier to see all this in Will, who has the most page time out of all of Apollo’s children, but Kayla and Austin’s perception of their dad too has shifted in a similar way. A single compliment from Apollo makes Kayla blush right down to the roots of her hair. “You're taller,” is the first thing she and Austin tell him upon greeting him. “You hold yourself straighter.” This may or may not be factually true, but regardless I would wager that their comments are reflective of more than just a physical reality. He looks taller to them. He’s grown in their esteem. 

Kayla had been listening quietly, but now she leaned in. ‘Yeah, Meg was telling us about this prophecy you got. The Tower of Nero and all that. If there’s a battle, we want in.’

Austin wagged a breakfast sausage at me. ‘Word.’

There’s a big difference between this dialogue and when they promised Apollo that they’d protect him, back at the beginning of THO. The way they phrase this, it’s like they expect some pushback on the idea of them joining the fight. They expect that their father will want to protect them. That he may not even need them. And they respect his initial decision to leave them at camp, where he hopes they‘ll be safe.

But they make a point to let him know that they want to be there for him, with him, anyway. They know that, one way or another, their time together is coming to an end. 

It’s pretty obvious that this is something that weighs heavily on the minds of Will, Kayla and Austin all through book 5. Not so much the possibility that Apollo will die, but the possibility that he won’t. That he will become a god again, and they will have to go back to seeing him only in dreams, if they’re lucky maybe in person once a year, never for longer than it takes to exchange a gesture of affection, a couple hollow platitudes. That they’ll never get to be this close with him again.

They don’t ask him to stay. The big requests still feel too big for them to voice. But everything they actually say and do is telling enough.

 "I was hoping you'd come back," Will says, giving him the new clothes he's bought for him just in case. And he adds, "I wanted you to feel at home."

‘Hey, if we don’t get out of this –’

‘None of that talk,’ I chided.

‘Yeah, but I wanted to tell you, I’m glad we had some time together. Like … time time.’

His words warmed me even more than Paul Blofis’s lasagne.

I knew what he meant. While I’d been Lester Papadopoulos, I hadn’t spent much time with Austin, or any of the people I’d stayed with, really, but it had been more than we’d ever spent together when I was a god. Austin and I had got to know each other – not just as god and mortal, or father and son, but as two people working side by side, helping each other get through our often messed-up lives. That had been a precious gift. 

Austin makes a point to underscore that it’s not the mere fact of having gotten to share some time with his dad that he’s grateful for. It’s not like he never saw or talked to Apollo before. He and his siblings are lucky, for a demigodly definition of the word. Apollo always gave them the time of the day. But this is different. Austin doesn’t quite know how to describe, put into words, what exactly the difference is.

But Apollo does. “Austin and I got to know each other as people,” he says. He calls it a precious gift, as if it’s something out of his hands. Because it is. It will continue to be, until Apollo decides to wrestle it out of the hands of his father. He still doesn’t know that he can.

[Dionysus] disappeared in a grape-scented cloud of glitter.

‘Such a show-off,’ I muttered.

Will laughed. ‘You really have changed.’

‘I wish people would stop pointing that out.’

‘It’s a good thing.’

Notice what is it that prompts Will to remark on Apollo’s change. It’s not Apollo being desperate to get Kayla and Austin and Meg back, to the point of risking his own life to go find them. It’s not Apollo being kind to Harley and winning the child’s loyalty along with a ukulele. It’s not Apollo expressing sorrow and regret about Jason’s death.

There’s a moment, later in the book, in which Rachel actually does give Apollo the “it’s so great that you actually care about people now” speech, but to Apollo’s children this doesn’t seem to register as an actual change in their father at all. They never show surprise to see him care. 

Instead, what Will chooses to highlight as a novelty is Apollo rolling his eyes at Dionysus’ antics. He’s used to his father being kind. He’s not used to his father being serious. And he likes this new serious version of his dad – not humorless, but also very much not a clown all the time. It feels more real, somehow. Will doesn’t have anywhere near enough context to fully understand it, but the thing that he's really reacting to is the lack of a mask. 

Apollo does understand though. He understands what his children are trying to communicate to him, even though they are careful to phrase their desires exclusively as expressions of gratitude. He may find it hard to believe, still, but he ain’t stupid. It’s painfully obvious that his kids want more of this. More of HIM. And he wants nothing more than to be able to give it to them. But much like his children don’t dare ask, he doesn’t dare make a promise that he’s afraid he won’t be able to keep.

I think you can see, at this point, what I meant when I said that Apollo and his children have complementary arcs re: their relationship with their father. 

Apollo needs to give up on a father who refuses to accept him as his own person, keeps him from his own possessions, from his own loved ones. He needs to give up on a father who hates him enough to orchestrate his death. He must, for his own sake, and, most importantly, that of his children. 

Will, Kayla and Austin need to realize that they are entitled to ask more, that they should demand more of a father who loves them, completely unconditionally, enough to be willing to die for them. A father who, they are starting to discover, may be fully capable and willing to murder for them, too. 

The series ends before any of them have time to really act on the revelations they have had, the lessons they have learned. It’s an open ending, but the way forward is clear. 

Apollo tries to tell himself that it will be enough to keep his distance. But even as he tries to convince himself of this, he’s admitting that there’s really only one way to stop tyrants like Nero. Tyrants like Zeus. Who can’t be reasoned with, because they don’t care to be reasonable. Who can’t be cut off either, because they feel entitled to everything and have the power to trample all over other people’s boundaries. Visiting his children in secret, helping demigods behind his father’s back… that strategy wasn’t working for Apollo before, and it’s not gonna start working now. There’s only one way this story can end, and deep down Apollo has already acknowledged it. 

Apollo’s children, on the other hand, and I want to say especially Will, because he’s the one who has the most reasons and the most need to, should finally allow themselves to get angry at their dad. Because now they have seen, they have proof, that he can be a much better parent to them than he’s been all their life. Because they know him too well, now, to be able to make excuses for him. He is simply too good to be so awful a father. So how dare he?

The one time he was there with them, even as a mortal, even without his power, he saved them. So why could he not do it all the times before? Why could he not do it for all their other siblings?

Apollo let go of his anger, and, with it, he let go of the last of the hope he still held for his father too.

Will should be angry with his father because, now, he actually has hope for him.

No, it’s not Will’s responsibility to reform Apollo. But it matters to Apollo what his children have to say. What his children want. They know him well enough, now, to know that he’s both capable and willing to change for them.

But Fsinger, you’ll be asking me now, what about the infamous solangelo book teaser scene in the TON epilogue? Doesn’t that go against everything you’ve been so correctly and exhaustively arguing up until now?

To that I have to say 

1) I was hoping you wouldn’t bring that up

2) I really, really want to be wrong, but that scene really reads like a hasty, completely graceless reset of the status quo so that Will and Nico’s adventure, and probably many more after it too, can be written still following the same old formula that has already proven to sell. Suddenly, jarringly, Apollo's back to feeling like he can't do anything but watch in resigned impotence as his kids march to their death, and Will’s back to making excuses for his dad. Everything can continue on as usual. Move along, spectators, there’s nothing to see here. If you thought this story was leading up to a specific place, no you didn’t.

3)

[pushing500]

We left Loyalty's Meander at the same time our last guests did. Apparently, the horrible murder-cult vibes weren't enough to deter them, so now we have allies! That's nice, I guess.

Blackthorn learned to walk while we were road-tripping and I couldn't get this scene from Ice Age out of my head while I was trying to draw it so you just get the scene instead.

Thanks to the vehicle mod, it only took us eight days to get here, so here we are! I can't wait to see the ship!

hmmmmmmmm

there is... no ship

That is problematic. We'll try to mine into those mountains and see if there's a ship hidden in there somewhere, but I fear this may call for some Dev Mode intervention from Ecthuctu themselves...

Duchess now is not a good time

Curly, that is RUDE. Ecthuctu will not be impressed by this slight, mark my words... Terrible things are coming for you.

First | Next | Previous

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Mikey: You know, my father used to say that bad news is just good news in disguise!

Casey: Was this before he died?

Mikey: Yes it was.

[ellenchain]

Another random Hitman question. Since it was on sale, I bought a pack of Flutschfinger. Which ice cream does the Hitman fam prefer? Gelato, sandwiches, sorbet, cola ice?

First of all: Flutschfinger are such a strong childhood memory for me - I hope they were delicious!

And what a difficult question, because at first I can imagine everything with everyone. But on second thought, they might have different favourites …

47. He probably eats what you put in front of him when it counts. But if he's allowed to choose, he might have an ice cream sundae that he particularly likes. With lots of fruit on top or some chocolate. There is an ice cream parlour in Italy that serves just the right amount of cream and ice cream. I think he enjoys sitting outside in a café in the quiet hours of his life and having his espresso with a sundae.

Diana. In fact, I can imagine that she's not that much of an ice-cream fan. When it's very warm, she'll probably have a Magnum or go to a special ice cream parlour where they still make the ice cream themselves. But somehow she strikes me as more of an iced coffee type (European style with ice cream and not just ice cubes), should it come to a visit to an ice cream parlour.

Olivia. I can imagine that she likes all these cool ice cream types like Flutschfinger. Or ice pops in general. An ice cream sandwich for sure as well. She probably just loves ice cream in general and would get the craziest flavours. There's an ice cream parlour near me here where you can order currywurst or pizza ice cream. Or beer ice cream. Or schnitzel ice cream with cheese spaetzle ice cream. Olivia would eat it, for sure.

Lucas. In my headcanon, he has a weakness for sweet things. This includes ice cream, of course. But as he seems to be a bit of a cheapskate (he only spends money on useful things and not on luxuries), I can imagine him going to the nearest discount store and buying an XXL pack of some off-brand ice cream. This pack will last him a week at best. He only goes to the café or ice cream parlour when everyone else is dragging him along. And then he might order Spaghettieis.

But now I'm curious to know what you think!!

[grapecaseschoices]

i know people dont like playing warrior in da. but grappling hook has to be one of the sexiest and coolest moves ever on a per-specialization ability tree.

[cowardlycowboys]

18/19 year olds I beg you stop following me I have nothing for you

[morsartis]

Kiss The Girl

Marvus x fem!Reader

.

Fish darted through the tanks in brilliant colors, the cooler lighting highlighting the brilliance of their scales. All around you were families and couples enjoying their own outings. Despite this, the aquarium was remarkably slow today. What little crowds that managed to form always dispersed as if to mimic the schools of aquatic life you’d all come to see. Leaving you and Marvus in your own personal bubble. You had wandered into a more secluded indoor section of the aquarium to escape the hot sun, this one boasting small Alternian fish with iridescent white scales and vivid violet eyes. You knew it must have cost the aquarium a fortune to get them- or maybe a violetblood had been taken with the fanciful notion of the aquarium and donated the fish for their own amusement. It was always hard to tell. Either way you watched as the fish swam lazily through the water with their spiny barbs and fancy flared fins. Like a mix between a betta fish and a catfish. Beside you Marvus chuckled. 

“That one looks like that lil’ violet that you been bringin’ ‘round.” He pointed to a fish near the bottom corner that was much smaller than the rest- and seemed to be sulking grumpily as it watched the others swim around. You stifled a laugh. It did look like Eridan oddly enough. 

“That’s rude Marvus.” You couldn’t keep the humor out of your voice despite trying to scold your matesprite. 

“Am I wrong?” He asked sardonically as he glanced down at you lazily. This time you couldn’t help the snort that left you. 

“Eridan’s a wriggler, play nice.” 

“Sure. Soon as he stops eyein’ you like a piece a fresh grubloaf.” 

“Oh please. He’s just happy to have a friend. May I remind you how Zebruh gets?” 

“I could still cull him if you want lil mama. Ain’t no big thing.” 

“You know I don’t want you killing people on my behalf.” 

“Worth a shot.” He teased leaning down to steal a quick kiss. Leaning into the kiss you rolled your eyes at his antics. Even so, you couldn’t help but smile at him when the two of you pulled away. 

“Culling is illegal here on Earth, Dear.” You reminded him. Marvus gave you an exaggerated pout. 

“I still say we should do it anyway.” 

“No.” You replied bluntly, already walking away. Marvus snickered in amusement, his long legs catching up to you instantly as he placed a chilled hand on your shoulder and gently guided you more firmly to his side. The two of you made an odd pair, you’d admit. Especially to the people in the mostly empty aquarium. One human girl in her pale sundress and her juggalo troll companion in the most form fitting t-shirt he could get his hands on and an absolutely gaudy pair of skinny jeans. Still, it was nice to have a normal date. It’d been so long since either of you had had the time to spend together outside of stolen moments after Marvus’ concerts. Having this day just to be normal and in love was something you’d be riding the high of for weeks. Months even. 

“Is that a cafe?” Marvus asked in confusion pointing at a cluster of tacky straw roofed “hut” shaped tables tucked near a tropical themed alcove. 

“Looks like it.” You snorted in amusement. 

“That is the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Marvus told you as the two of you drew closer. 

“Oh its horrible.” You agreed, entertainment thick in your tone. 

“Who told them this was okay?”

“Not a clue.” “Even the menu items are tacky.”

“They are.”

“I want pictures.” 

The two of you shared a look before dissolving into laughter. At least this way you’d both have something to eat. Not a bad way to end a date really.

[spookyagentfmulder]

@freakarus liked for a sentence starter!

"Now what's a good little kid like you doing out here in a place like this?"

"Hunting aliens, I hope. Y'seen any?"

[strqyr]

there's only one thing i'll say about the movie part 2 and it's that i find it funny how they obviously aged them up by who knows how much y'all moms don't even look like that lmao

[bloodyarn]

@fortune-feather sent

"Don't worry, I'll buy you some fries once Shadowheart isn't looking."

   𝙻𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 .   unprompted interactions ────────────────────────

     ❝ Oh, only dwarf-size for me. I had a whole McHelm already. They bumped up the prices, did you know   ?   Baldur's Gate really changed since Lord Gortash reserved his spot on the tops. ❞

[compacflt]

I've read the original version of WWGATTAI and I was wondering why you later decided to have Pete sleep around during their "break up" or rocky patch. I think in the first version he just flirts with others but later tells Ice that he'd burst into flames if he actually slept with anyone else. Did you see it as cheating or did you see it as them being in a very real separation that both were aware of?

oh shit someone who read the original shitty version 😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay thanks for sticking with me that long firstly

okay—that part of the story was the first part i ever wrote (besides the epilogue which was actually first) so i just didn’t know how it would play out, so there’s that—I didn’t think through the consequences of ice’s betrayal at ALL so that’s the whole reason why i went back and edited it

Secondly, (see here for another post about this), no, I don’t think of it as cheating. they weren’t in a relationship (like they Were but they also weren’t). they were in a situationship that got out of hand. if ice is jealous/butthurt about maverick sleeping around then he is coping & seething and should be made fun of

thirdly, mavericks an unrealistically handsome single guy in his early forties who may have just wasted the last decade of his life on a man who betrayed him/his family & basically dumped him & left him, so not unexpected that he would retaliate by sleeping with other people.

fourthly, as maverick says above, “it’s a distraction,” “[it’s someone who is] not you. I just can’t seem to shake you. I don’t know what else to do.” he feels like he is out of options & he himself is too cowardly to break things off with ice so he’s waiting for ice to break things off with him. him sleeping around = a.) satisfying a physical need that ice used to fulfill before he left b.) shopping around for other people c.) retaliating for ice’s betrayal d.) trying to provoke ice into breaking up with him e.) attempting to distract himself from how much he misses ice

[yeonban]

Unprompted.

Anonymous asked (mentioning @ofdraiocht): Naotora, isn't it hard being in a relationship and being so far away from Naoe? Wouldn't it be better to find someone closer or in your own band?

This again... ❛ Of course it's hard... I want to see him every day, but I only get to every few weeks, or sometimes every few months. But hey, it could've been worse! The Uesugi are closer to us than the Hojo or the Date are, so it doesn't take as long to reach them. Plus, me and Tatsuomi are on good terms, so I can come and go to his band whenever I please instead of having to ask for permission ahead of time. ❜ It isn't the most agreeable arrangement in the world, and he certainly would love to wake up daily to Naoe's warmth, beauty and even routine scoldings, but it isn't something he cannot bear. The distance is an obstacle and so are their different affiliations, but there are also plenty of blessings that have paved the way for their relationship to flourish as it has. Perhaps he should thank Tatsuomi for this the next time they meet: for not making their circumstances even harder than they have to be, as he's sure the other grand generals would have had in his place.

❛ ...You know, I'm sure it'd have been better for me to do many things differently, but this isn't one of them. It would've been easier to maintain a relationship with someone I could've seen whenever I wanted to, sure, but not easier to find that person. I had the option to pick anyone I wanted from my band. I still have that option, and I always will. But that's exactly it. There isn't anyone I've met that I can see myself falling in love with other than Naoe, in or outside my band, and I'm definitely not going to court or marry someone I don't feel anything for just for the sake of it. ❜ He has personally met every member of the Takeda, has seen them through wartime and peace, has been told each and every one of their hopes and concerns, yet none of them have ever become anything more than people he feels duty-bound to protect. Friends, fellow warriors, innocent bystanders, but not one had ever ignited the special spark he presently feels while even just simply thinking of Naoe. Not one for almost three decades, until he'd decided to spare a glance towards the other bands as well.

Naoe hadn't been love at first sight either (far from it), and Naotora's obliviousness had made him watch as his beloved got engaged, married and then divorced seven times over the course of their many years of comradery, before the realization had finally hit him. Perhaps the red soul's exemplary persistence and the unchanging nature of Naoe's personality were what ultimately tipped him over. The grand general has met his fair share of powerful bushi and equally as many strong-willed people, but none had ever shone as brightly as Naoe had. None had been as true to themselves as Naoe was. None had interacted with him as an equal that he could rant about, argue with and fight as Naoe had.

Naotora is not and has never been in love with the concept of love. That is the primary difference between him and his beloved. He never sought love for love's sake, and therefore what he feels for the accountant is nothing short of a miracle that he wishes to protect. He is in love with the myriad of traits that his red soul possesses, in precisely the quantity and shape it took for them to form the man that Naoe is today. Even if someone else with the same traits were to appear in front of him right now, he heavily doubts they would have half the impact his beloved does on his soul. No matter what angle he may consider it from, it would be a thousand times harder for the blue soul to find someone else he could adore as readily as he does Naoe, than it is to sustain their current long-distance relationship. And even if it had been easier on that front too? He would have picked Naoe regardless. ❛ So unless you can make a second Naoe, down to every cell he has in his body and every thought he has in his mind, and have him join my band instead of Tatsuomi's... well, I guess we'll just have to let the distance make our hearts grow fonder, haha! ❜

[featherchan]

🤕 (Regulus and Kanako)

[ misc action memes / @eternalstarlights / Still Accepting! ]

🤕 - to dress your muse’s wound .

[ P.S : Do not turn this ask into a thread without asking first 😉 ]

I misunderstood the meme and already wrote the whole thing. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So will be switching up a bit 🙇🏻‍♀️

As Kanako and Regulus grew up together in Sanctuary, even though he has risen to become a Gold Saint, she sometimes talked to him just like in the old days when they were both foot soldiers without ranks. Naturally, she only dared to speak this way in the absence of the other Gold Saints, knowing her place after all.

"Regulus!" Kanako exclaimed, with her hand on her hip. "You idiotic fool!" She pulled the healer aside as she began to personally tend to him. "I warned you to be careful, and what did you do? You recklessly jumped into the line of fire and got yourself hurt." Taking a fresh set of bandages, she proceeded to lecture him like two good friends would, before she proceeded to smack him in the head with her hand. "I'm surprised, yet proud that you've become a Gold Saint. But I'm constantly worried about your childlike state of mind."

[woolblossom-archive]

First 5x4 thank you print