#thanks airplane-bro

[sunderwight]

What if the plant body hadn't worked out, and the Holy Mausoleum solution had actually taken a long time to sort of "fix" Shen Qingqiu's body and fully call his soul back to it, so that hundreds of years passed and civilization in PIDW/SV world progressed to the point of something like the "modern era"?

Imagine Luo Binghe trying to delicately introduce his shizun to such strange concepts as smart phones and credit cards, while Shen Qingqiu is just desperately trying to figure out how dumb he should play this. Would it be believable for him to get everything on the first try? There have to be some differences between what he knows and this world's versions, right, because of the demons and cultivators and things? Right?? But it's not like any of this actually IS difficult for him to grasp!

Luo Binghe: Shizun already discerned how to type using a keyboard...?

Shen Qingqiu, sweating bullets: what, like it's hard?

[shrimpchipsss]

system felt that cumplane were getting a bit complacent

[tk-duveraun]

Yue Qi isn't quite allowed to draw his spiritual sword, but he's not explicitly NOT allowed, so he plans to sneak to Wan Jian Peak after hours and get his sword so he can save xiao-Jiu.

Only, as soon as he sets foot on the rainbow bridge, he runs into some shidi from An Ding having a crisis in the middle of the night. He helps.

It's several days before he has enough of a lull in his duties that he feels well-rested enough to make the attempt again. He needs the strongest sword possible to save xiao-Jiu.

Upon reaching Wan Jian Peak, he discovers there was an explosion just as the disciples were cleaning up for the night and now it's like an agitated ant hill. Yue Qi sighs and helps.

Sadly the fallout and paperwork and prospective safety measures take up an entire month. Yes, his cultivation is improving, but he needs to leave NOW.

His next attempt is thwarted by an entire crowd of disciples, a mix of bai zhan and xian shu. They're fighting because...? Someone said someone else said they were weak? Uncultured? Yue Qi might have expected the blow out with ku xing and that would have resulted in less property damage.

He pushed back another month, but at least that one shidi from An Ding brings him some nice trees and a fruit as thanks for his earlier help. Yue Qi can't put a name to the fruit, even as he eats it, but he dares not ask anyone and reveal his ignorance.

The next night, invigorated by the kindness and the gifts, Yue Qi finally, FINALLY makes it to the sword wall and claims the Xuan Su sword.

He wakes two days later on Qian Cao from the resulting qi deviation. His master visits. He is equal parts disappointed and pleased that he snuck out by managed to claim such a worthy sword

The moment he's gone, Yue Qi climbs out of the window and returns to his quarters. After changing and grabbing his go-bag he teaches himself how to fly on the sword while hurtling toward xiao-Jiu.

His bag has more money in it than he remembered saving, but Qiu Jianluo isn't willing to sell xiao-Jiu anyway

That's alright. No one knows Yue Qi is there and when there are no survivors, no one ever will. He leaves xiao-Jiu at the base of the mountain with his go bag and all of the money so he can approach the sect after enough time has passed to allay and possible suspicions regarding the fire at the Qiu manor.

Yue Qi presents his shishu with a letter from his good friend Shen Jiu and requests that shishu please evaluate him for cultivation potential.

Yue Qi suspects that his shishu knows every rotten detail of the situation, but he only smiles and agrees to a meeting. Before Yue Qi leaves, his shishu says, "You know, I hear disciple Shang was made head disciple of An Ding. It would serve you well to have a good relationship."

.

.

Disciple Shang is the nervous shidi. Yue Qi truly believes shishu knows everything.

[expertnuerodiver]

The An Ding Peak Lord, Shang Qinghua!

[thestormthatrises]

MQF: So, how did you two get in an accident, exactly?

SQQ: I'm so glad you asked!

SQH:

SQQ: We were running away, dashing thru the forest, hand in hand, because Shang-shidi activated the mountain's trap, when, suddenly! A deer appeared before us!

SQH:

SQQ: Naturally, I yelled "SQH, deer!"

MQF: and?

SQQ, turning towards SQH: tell our shidi what you said.

SQH: (._.)

SQQ: Say. It.

SQH, with a long suffering sigh: I said "yes, honey?" (#._.#)

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Shen Yuan, who transmigrates into PIWD as himself, finds out he is allergic to basically everything. Thankfully Bingge is ready to dual cultivate with him every time he has an allergic reaction to save his life. What a bro. What an absolutely heroic straight protagonist who fucks even a nerdy, straight guy like him to help a bro out. Well, it is a little strange that his blood mites does not work for this, so they have to dual cultivate every time, but Shen Yuan blames Airplane. It must be his fault. Shen Yuan is just so thankful and blessed to have such a good friend, who spends every minute stuck to him to make sure he is safe! Bingge even moved him to his own room and bed to stay vigilant! What a protagonist, what a bro!

[badjokesbyjeff]

A guy and a parrot sit down on an airplane 

The guy find it weird, but if people can bring dogs, you can also bring parrots, he thinks.

Moments later, comes the flight attendant:

Good evening can I serve you anything?

The parrot says:

Bring a nice cold beer you whore!

The attendant is startled by it, but well, the client is always right.

She then comes back with beer. The parrot chugs it and say again:

Now Im the mood for some wine, bring me a red wine you bitch!

The man seeing the opportunity says:

Can you bring me a glass of water please? Thank you

The attendant grabs the wine, but forgets the glass of water, she comes back and the parrot says:

Goddammit your piece of shit, I've told you already I dont like dry wine, bring me a sweet one

And the guy says:

-And bring my water please? Just a small glass, pretty please

Then she goes back to the bar grabs the wine, but forgets the water again, as she walks back, the guy, annoyed, tries to use the parrot tactic and says

Jesus fucking christ you stupid bitch, I've told two times already to bring me my water!

The attendant is done with it:

Thats it! I wont tolerate this treatment no more!

She then goes to the pilot and tell him about the parrot and the man, the pilot goes to the both of them and says:

You two are cursing everybody in this airplane? Thats it you are out

He then grabs both, open the door and kicks them out of the airplane

As both of them are falling the parrot says:

Damn bro, for someone that doesn't have wings you're really fucking brave!

[the-tyler-as-in-skyler]

in which the runaway would-be peak lord of cang qiong’s tenth peak is finally dragged away from his expedition/attempted escape from plot relevance by his aggrieved shri ions and returned to the sect where he is forcefully inducted as peak lord of beast peak, per his shizun’s orders, and is then forced to actually do the job that he very much didn’t want thank you

most of the peak lords are just glad to have their wayward martial brother back, some of them (shen qingqiu, liu qingge, shang qinghua, and mu qingfang) have a bone to pick with him for his extended absence and shirking of his duties (he gets a very long lecture on not going close enough to dangerous beasts, demonic or otherwise, that they can injure you when mu qingfang sees exactly how many scars he’s gathered in the fifteen or so years that he’s been gone and another one from shen qingqiu about being too trusting when he sees how many of the scars are of human or demon origin rather than from beasts)

shang qinghua (the only one who he kept in some form of contact with since they’re transmigrator bros and he kind of doesn’t trust airplane not to get himself killed via mobei-jun (even if he knows that’s not supposed to happen yet) if he leaves him alone for too long) just tells him to make sure he turns in his reports and budget requests on time

liu qingge lectured him about leaving before even receiving his courtesy name (liu qingge at least waited until a few months after their ascension ceremony to disappear and he was usually back at the sect for at least a few days out of every month) on the way to the sect so he got to get out his grievances first (he does also yell at shen yuan for being reckless though, because he’s protective like that)

anyways this was just an excuse to doodle squishy lil shen yuan and liu qingge as well as dump my runaway peak lord shen yuan brainrot

[jade-len]

there was a weird ass part in my dream where shen yuan was like the chinese version of mr beast and i was his media manager or whatever and luo binghe was a reoccurring contestant but every time he participated he'd always win and get the money so, like, of course people started suspecting favoritism and cheating and it didn't help that when questioned shen yuan would just go "well it's not my fault you guys suck compared to my good boy white lotus sheep" which, mind you, did not look very good considering that binghe was still bunhe age which then also led to a whole other controversy where the internet suspected that rich man shen yuan was grooming binghe and i was genuinely so stressed out because shen yuan would say shit without fucking going to me first and it got to the point where shang qinghua saw my miserable ass and felt bad and took me out to eat at this noodle place (thank you airplane bro) but as i was enjoying this much needed break a notification from twitter popped up and it was a picture of binghe sitting on shen yuan's lap and i just quit my job right there.

[strawberrygyuuuu]

𝐓𝐗𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 —> "𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄?" —> 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐘

Genre —> Fluff

—> will txt peel your orange for you? Will they complain? Will they not do it? Will they do it willingly?

၄၃

YEONJUN

• what the flip guys

• you sometimes don't even have to ask, if he's getting himself fruit to eat he's getting you some too in a cute little bowl so y'all can eat your fruits together

• like...if you ask him to peel you an orange then okay sure no problem baby!!

• bro doesn't even think twice

• if his baby want their orange peeled bc they don't want it to get in their nails then sure!!! He loves you too much tbh

• just wouldn't question it too much so dont worry! You're all in good hands

• def a guy tho to do acts of service a lot for you, even if you ask or not

• baby js cares and wants to make sure you're okay! He def has the urge to take care of you a lot.

SOOBIN

• papa bunny does it usually when you're sick, unless you ask ofc

• like, if you're sick he'll get you some fruit he knows you love and give you it without asking for it

• any other time tho you'll have to ask him and tell him because you don't feel like getting your hands messy/sticky (or any other excuse lol)

• "yeah, okay..sure." shows a tiny little dimple smile and does it!!!>0<

• WITH A FOREHEAD SMOOCH AFTER OFC GRRR OTL

• easy, right?

• hes just glad to help you honestly

• "you feelin' better, baby? A little? Ok, get some more rest, sweet girl." With his little 🥺 staring at you and and and😭

• okay but realistically he sometimes just stares at you :D and then shakes his head and says, "ahh, no." Lololol he's joking pls joke back.

BEOMGYU

• oooo he's a menace

• tease you a little before giving in lol

• "wha? Why?..oh, hmm..no." then he'll get up and push you down if you try and get up to do it yourself 💀

• cutiee, he just likes to mess with you

• but he'll cut you some fruit! Tho he might make a mess so🧍🏻‍♀️

• no matter how it turns out pls eat it n be happy he worked hard😓

• if he's getting himself food or a snack or a drink or wtvr he'll get you one too without saying anything or you asking

• gyuie's just cute like that guys

• "here!!!! I bought you a drink! :)" pls take it and thank him and drink it happily 😭🙏🏻

TAEHYUN

• nooo cause his love language is def acts of service

• so he def does things for you a lot, me thinks

• you're cold? Cool here's his hoodie

• oh, you're hungry? Don't worry you'll be filled up real soon, he's cooking you something!!>.<

• he will gladly peel you an orange if you want one, an apple, he will peel it if it's peelable guys

• "mhm, okay." 5 mins later, "here, eat up, pretty girl."

• OTL

• I need him so bad guys😭

• idk he's just really thoughtful and always puts you before himself

• especially when it comes to health and food n stuff

• "here, have the rest of my food I'm full." *You end up feeding him some while you finish it.*

HUENINGKAI

• HES SO SWEET GOD PLS I NEED HIM 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

• whenever he eats something I know he gives you a few bites even if you have your own

• def rubs your tummy after you're done eating I'm sobbing

• 🧍🏻‍♀️

• but, anyway, hes just very thoughtful and wants to make sure you're okay

• "babyyyy! Would you like some? I figured we could try it since we've never had it before." You agree and he's so happy and he airplanes you the food IM BITING CEMENT

• this is so offtrack😭

• erm moral of the story he thinks of you a lot so yes, he in fact would peel you an orange and care for you happily!>0<

• at first tho he'll prob give you the most confused face ever bc you've never had a problem before..? But okay!!😊

[gadriezmannsgirl]

I suddenly got a wave of inspiration and several fics are going to be done today (Hopefully at least two) , so first fic out!

Also I just realized that this past February 24th (Or 26th, Idk) was my first ever post in this place, so happy anniversary to this blog and to this piece!

Night Out Problems -P.G6

Summary: A night out in which you had a little too much to drink

You giggled once again at your friend's mistakes, you two were singing at the top of your lungs in the backseat of a car

"Así no va, tonta" (That's not how it goes, silly) You giggled "It's got me looking so crazy right now, your love's got me looking so crazy right now" You corrected while laughing

"She repeats it?"

"Then how else is it?"

"Isn't there something page me?" You look at her

"What?" You said after a minute of silence before you two broke in laughter

"Y/N, we're here" Your best friend's, Melissa's boyfriend, Frank says "Are you good to go or should I call-?"

"I'm good, I'm good"

"Sure?" You opened the car door and went to get out but almost met the floor "Ok, no, I need help"

"I'm calling your boy" He said getting out of the car and estabilizing you

"Pabs?" You asked excited and he hums, you heard the singing of your friend "¡Loca, bajale a la voz!" (You crazy woman, lower your voice!)

"Hermano" You soon heard another male voice greeting you by the car "Gracias por traerla" (Thanks for bringing her back)

"No worries, bro. Everything's good"

"Have a good night, text when you both get home please" Frank nods

"Have a good night guys and Y/N" He called you as you look at Frank "I'm glad you're getting your degree"

"Oh shush as if you sing any better" Both guys laughed as you watched how Frank got in the car and drove off

"Venga, c'mon Amor. Let's go inside"

"I'm not your amor, muchacho. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come here"

"Oh yeah?" You hum nodding "Where's he?"

"Inside that" You point out your house "house"

"Bueno but let's go closer so we are not standing in the middle of the road"

"Only because I don't want to get run over by a car, my boyfriend wouldn't like that"

"I bet he wouldn't" He said shaking his head "Don't you perhaps have a key to enter?"

"You might be so good looking but I'm not entering with you here, I'll wait for my boy" The guy smiled

"Venga bebé, let's go inside, it's 3am" He tried touching you but you pushed his hands away

"No" You say "I'm going to call my boyfriend if you keep that up"

"Call him then"

"I will" You pulled your phone out only to see the call didn't go through "I don't have signal?" You look at the guy who has a smirk on his face and one of his eyebrows up "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing. Don't mind me" He crossed his arms around his chest letting you see his muscles.

But you didn't let that fool you, you had a boyfriend and you wanted your boyfriend now.

So, you narrowed your eyes looking at him

"Why are you looking at me now?"

"You know, for very weird reasons you look exactly like my boyfriend"

"Do I?" You nod

"But he doesn't have a brother. Or that's what I know. So, you are not him"

"Why I'm not him?"

"Because he has beard and you are clean shaved"

"That's because I shaved in the afternoon"

"Yeah, he knows that's my thing to do"

"Alright, amor. I'm truly tired and I have recovery session at 10am today. What do you need for me to prove I'm your boyfriend?"

"Nothing because you're not! My boyfriend is Pablo Páez, a football player mostly known by Gavi, you're not him and once he finds out you're hitting on me, he'll be so pissed at you" The guy's smirk keep growing each time "And stop making fun of me"

"You said you wanted to call your boyfriend?" You nod "Try again this time without the airplane mode on" You look at your phone to see the airplane on top of your settings

"Oh!" You looked up at him "I'll call him now" You took a few steps off the stairs and almost fell making the guy come to you "No! I'm good, I'm good. Don't need to touch what's not yours" You said and dialed your boyfriend

A few rings went by only to hear his phone ring behind you, you turn around seeing the guy with the phone in his ear

"Go ahead" He smiled widely "¿Qué querías decirme, preciosa?" (What did you wanted to tell me, pretty girl?)

"You are my boyfriend!" You smiled widely "My lord, I have such a good taste in men. You're the prettiest boy I've ever seen" You giggled coming up the stairs once again to wrap your arms around him

"You said not to touch what's not mine?"

"But you're my boyfriend, I'm yours and you're minee" You dragged the 'e' out "That's why you looked exactly like my boyfriend, because you are!" You laughed squishing his cheeks

"Yes, I am" He said in between your hands

"So prettyyyy" You said "Why don't you open the door? I wanna lay on top of you, cuddle and kiss you so bad. God, you look so comfy, how is that even possible?" Pablo laughs at you buried depp into his chest, your voice coming out muffled

"Thank god, I'm recording this, you wouldn't believe it"

"Are you recording?" He hums as you grab his hand pulling it up to your mouth "Whatup girl?-

"You need to marry this man like as soon as possible, he's the love of your life and he's so perfect, you wouldn't believe it"

You groan hearing your voice as you grab a bite of the sandwich your boyfriend made for you "Please, stop that, even thought I mean it, I was drunk as hell"

"There's no need to be embarrassed about it, amor" Pablo laughed wrapping his strong arms around you and kissing your neck, the recording still playing "You are the love of my life as well, you're the perfect girl for me and I do plan on getting down on my knee and propose, just waiting for the right time"

"I would say yes anytime"

"That's good to know" He smiled "Can I pull this audio in our wedding?"

"Definitely not"

"Oh, c'mon! Why not?"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[asukaskerian]

Airplane Shooting Toward The Sky was kind of short, with a round face and messy hair (not deliberately.) He was also beaming with all his teeth, gums showing a little. "Ayooo! Hey guys! Group selfie?"

Several people had a phone stick, so they did a group selfie. Then the table was mobbed by the three nuns and a Sha Hualing who probably hadn't spent too much money on her costume materials, and had already switched her stage slippers for combat boots. Shen Yuan Just So Happened to stand near the other Liu Qingge for one of the sisters to take a stealth comparison pic of.

"Hey. Fun times, yeah?"

The inferior version smiled tightly, chest muscles bulging up and down, and loomed. "Ahaha, yeah." Then he flexed his biceps for some weird reason and went to squeeze supposedly-playfully at Shen Yuan's. "Are you sure you shouldn't have cosplayed the sister?"

Shen Yuan was only saved from prison by a laughing man's voice. 

"Actually, he's the one who's more canon-accurate."

Both Liu Qingges turned to stare at Great Master Airplane, who had leaned over his table to grin at them both.

"What are you spewing," Shen Yuan couldn't help shooting back, incredulous. "The War God is a twink now?" Ah, not that Shen Yuan was a -- fuck, no, don't blush, glare instead. "You're trying to tell us the strongest warrior--"

"Is using qi to be that strong, so who cares about the beef, bro. No, you want canon beefy, you want Mobei-jun. Now that man is stacked." Airplane nodded wisely. His eyes were twinkling. How insufferable. "Liu-gege? I'm not saying he's not, you know, sculpted, but with his clothes on, he's basically his sister with slightly flatter tits."

Hhhh.

"I mean, not smaller, necessarily, just not--" He made a bowl shape over his chest.

"... I hate you so much."

"Aww, thanks, sugarplum. No but seriously your cosplay is great, you just need a beauty spot and fancy wrist braces, like -- yeah, just like that, Luo-gege, wow, those are cool." He turned from the cool Bing-ge with the gauze flames back to Shen Yuan. "Anyway, have you ever given a thought to cosplaying Shen Qingqiu? He's like, your soul animal."

... Motherfucker.

[jungwnies]

syn ' how enhypen would comfort you when you're afraid of flying on a plane ✈️ pairing ' bf!enhypen x gn!reader

word count ' 0.8k (almost equally split between members)

requested! hey!! could u make some enhypen headcanons, how the members would comfort their s/o, who is afraid of flying on a plane? btw I really like your writing style&lt;3 (thank you so much!)

이희승 ' lee heeseung

he let's you sit on the outside seat especially because it's closest to the aisle and if you needed to breathe or just walk even to the bathroom you'd be able to easily go

holds your hand the whole time

probably in first class or business to be honest, but still makes sure you're as comfortable as you can possibly be

brings headphones for you and him because you can share audios through bluetooth

puts on something comforting on the little screen, probably asks if they have one of your favorite movies so you can keep your mind off the fact you're thousands of feet in the air flying thousands of miles away from your home

literally holds your hand the whole LIKE FR FR i can't stress this enough

his presence is so calming you probably fall asleep on him feeling safe because no matter what happens he's literally right next you

rest of the members under the cut!

박종성 ' park jay

obviously you both are in first class

holds your hand the whole time

has an arm around you the whole time

when you guys are taking off he distracts you

or whenever there is turbulence he distracts you

and during landing he also distracts you

he makes sure that you're able to sleep if it's a long flight

literally promises to not leave your side

if he has to use the bathroom i guess you're tagging along

makes a playlist for the two of you to listen to and downloads some movie on netflix before boarding so you guys can watch it because airplane mode is a bitch

but again, he's first class so he probably has wi-fi

심재윤 ' sim jake

the way he brings you a support plushie

why is he so sweet

also makes a playlist for the two of you

holds your hand the whole time or keeps an arm locked with yours

leans his head on your shoulder or lets you lean your head on his shoulder

he’s like a human version of a comfort plushy

doesn’t leave your side the whole ride

doesn’t even use the bathroom because he went before the plane ride

always asked if you were hungry or needed anything

if you ever got scared he would always give you his full undivided attention

even if he had to work on something while on the plane to prepare he’d put it aside for you

박성훈 ' park sunghoon

i love sunghoon but he’s the type to just not understand why you’re so scared of planes 😭

obviously he’d comfort you but he’d still be so confused on why

he lets you hold his hand or lean on him

even though he doesn’t understand he still cares and makes sure you’re okay

bro is the definition of “i don’t understand but i love you”

he’s just never sure of how he feels BUT anyways

he promised to be the person you can lean on whenever you’re scared, sad, or even happy

and that’s what he’ll do on the plane

he will stick by your side until it’s over and promise you everything will be alright because he’s right there

김선우 ' kim sunoo

opposite of sunghoon

completely understands your scared

literally comes prepared

brings the most comforting items on his carry on so he can distract you from the fact you guys are hundreds if not thousands of feet in the air

brings face masks and makes tiktok’s with you about the skin care routine for his private LMFAO

will make you smile the whole time

sunoo will literally make you forget you’re on the plane because of how comforting his presence simply is

promises you that everything will be alright

and that it’ll be over soon

as long as you’re on the plane with sunoo everything is aye okay

양정원 ' yang jungwon

i feel like this is starting to get repetitive

but this boy is here for you through thick and thin

he will be your fucking shoulder

your fucking pILLOW on that plane

he will make sure you're okay

he has leader qualities, it would be unlike him to not care for you

he always asks you how your doing

asks if you need anything

he is CONCERNED

he wants you to be calm so he always lets you hold his hand

or grab onto his arm

he doesn't care

as long as you feel safe on that plane he is happy

西村 力 ' nishimura riki

he's low key like sunghoon in this situation

he doesn't understand why you're scared

but he cares so he will do everything to make sure you're safe

he jokes with you a lot on the plane

low key people side-eyed because why are you guys laughing every 5 minutes?

he gets your mind off the plane ride because of how much he makes you laugh tbh

he also lets you sleep on his shoulder if it's a long plane ride

he's not as confused as sunghoon on why you don't like planes

riki is low key really good at comforting you, more than he knows tbh

2022 © jungwnies thank you for reading and the lovely request - reblogs are appreciated

[archerdepartures116]

Holy crap I saw your all transmigrators au and immediately followed because that's just. genius, genius work.

I really wanna see their reactions to SQH being the author of PIDW and I'm also curious to know if Ming Fan and Ning Yingying are also transmigrators. It would be so funny if Binghe is only actual important book character that from the original novel, love how you made him travel back in time too.

(Sorry for rambling haha, I just rlly like ur au)

Haha thank you for the support! I love it when people ramble and getting asks makes me very happy lol

Airplane better cook up a believable sob story, I mean not every fellow transmigrator has an ice cold heart like cucumber-bro!

As for other transmigrators, yes Ming fan and Ning Yingying are definitely part of it, I’m going off the idea that named characters in PIDW are transmigrators (also with so many modern ppl transmigrating to xianxia, imagine what inventions they would bring) and all of the peak lords, not just seven of them (cause imagine a half of the ppl you knew since disciple days suddenly became buddy buddy with each other after being indifferent or been unfriendly for years)

As for lbh, he’d be the only one non transmigrator in this au because having a bunch of ppl team up to be nice to him so he doesn’t blow up their afterlife would be funny

[octuscle]

Hey I have a situation I’m wandering if you can help me with. I’m on this long flight from New York to London and there’s this trust fund business bro on the same row as me. He’s acting all smug and is taking up space and being so rude and loud. He’s also being so mean to the flight staff acting like he’s so above them. Any way you can humble him a bit on this flight and make it a bit nicer for the staff and the rest of us passengers?

I'm a bit out of practice. But I'm currently filling in for a friend during his vacation… So let me see… To give you all quick relief, I'll send the loudmouth straight to sleep. Then he'll finally stop playing with his cell phone and laptop… Instead of his annoying, self-important drivel, you'll just hear snoring. Sonorous snoring. And a bit of drool running out of the corner of his mouth. It drips onto his expensive tailored suit. And it starts to change. The fabric starts to shine. Stripes appear on the sleeves and legs. And the fabric gets tighter and tighter. And with the fabric, the body of the pain in the neck is squeezed. The slim body of a lad emerges from the expensive personal trainer's steel body. The smell of expensive aftershave dissipates. A mixture of sweat and cheap deodorant comes from his corner. Shit, you love that smell. A fit lad in the changing room after school sports. And after a few moments, the face of the former Wall Street wannabe also appears. An 18-year-old scally in an Adidas tracksuit with an expensive haircut. We'll fix that too. His red hair has been styled by his Turkish barber for five pounds. Now get rid of your laptop, laptop bag and Louis Vuitton weekend bag. Your dirty clothes are now in a Nike backpack. Where the laptop was, there is now a bottle of beer. And his cell phone is an old model with a scratched display that slipped out of his hand in his sleep.

Now the guy isn't annoying you anymore, now he's making you horny. A little English chav who's obviously having a hot dream. His boner is building a magnificent tent in his trousers. And your cock is getting hard like steel… You reach into his crotch. He wakes up and looks at you with wide-open eyes. “Do you want to earn ten pounds, you little fag?” you ask him. He looks deep into your eyes and says, “Only if I get paid in advance.” You make your way to the airplane bathroom. This isn't the first time he's done this, and he follows you at a respectful distance. Thanks to his slim build, he has no problem kneeling on the floor of the cramped bathroom and skillfully freeing your cock. Dude, whatever he normally charges for cock-sucking, he deserves every penny! And he really does swallow every drop you cum. Changing positions is challenging. But you also do your best to return the favor on his boner.

You have no idea how he does it. But by the time the seat belt signs come on, he has earned almost 80 pounds. He asks you after landing if he can crash at your place. He doesn't feel like going to his parents' council house. Dude, today really is your lucky day.

I've set his transformation so that he has to cum 2,500 times before he realizes that he's in the body of a very talented hustler. I didn't exactly count, but the customer approaching him from behind could be that guy. Don't be surprised if he comes home a bit agitated in a minute. You don't need to tell him that he has to cum another 2,500 times before he gets back into his real body. But I'll give you my contact details in case your best hustler wants to get back into his hot body.

[bokutoasavillain]

Hiii, do you have some cumplane fic recommendations? Platonic or romantic, crack or angst, it doesn't matter as long as those two dumbasses share a single braincell 🥺👉👈

I love cumplane so of course!!

Shang Qinghua's Spa Day

Rated M, platonic/romantic/sexual cumplane the way it should be + making out for research purposes, absolutely hilarious

huddle for warmth

Rated G, platonic and really cute cuddling

Bros before... well everything I guess

Rated T, platonic, this really focuses on cumplane and cqms peak lords as family and it’s one of my faves (I really need to reread it)

A Child Once

Rated T, platonic, deaging and identity reveal my beloved <33

girl like me

Rated E, romantic, lesbian cumplane with Shen Yuan as Shang Qinghuas sugar mommy + sy typical comphet

His Majesty, the Ice King

Not Rated, romantic, sqh works at a coffee shop and sy may or may not be the inspiration for a certain character, they are disasters your honor

My Husband Says He Isn't Gay

Rated G, romantic, poor airplane is suffering from his husbands comphet and makes a Reddit post about it, it is hilarious

slow dance with you

Rated T, romantic, so so sweet I’m blushing thinking about it like it’s literally so fluffy and cute and mmmmmmmhhh

I've got $400 and a really bad idea

Rated T, romantic, fake dating for qijius wedding? More likely than you think (they’re idiots your honor)

Cumplane Summary Archive

Rated T, romantic, another Reddit post but this time about cumplanes relationship on social media from an outsider perspective in the form of an archive, it’s so fun and beautiful

Help! My Ex-Boyfriend Transmigrated And Now He's My Shixiong!

Rated M, romantic/exes, that awkward moment when you and your ex both end up in the same novel

Married?! To Whom?!

Rated T, romantic, who could Shen shixiongs husband possibly be?? The peak lords try to find out

Cumplane (Pairing)

Rated G, romantic, i really like outsider pov archives can you tell?

Life is a Merry-Go-Round

Rated T, romantic, scumcumplane, cumplane are married pre death and sqh transmigrates first to then fall for sj and then sy transmigrates and well they’re poly your honor (also really liked the jiuyuan here as well)

The M in Mpreg Stands for Mistake

Rated E, romantic?? Cumplane fuck around and find out (sqh is pregonate)

Haters gonna hate

Rated G, platonic, these two are weird and deserve to be acknowledged as such

I know a lot of these are already quite popular but there just aren’t that many unfortunately 😔 (at least not ones I’ve bookmarked) I hope these are satisfactory. I always wish to spread the cumplane agenda so thanks a lot for your ask<33