#thanks fitzy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

safyresky · 1 year

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don't mind me just going on a wee vent below the cut! enjoy this jacqueline instead of the vent!

(an oldie but a goodie, saved this as "something about being stabbed as good emotional trauma". ok i go vent now)

BUYING A CAR HAS BEEN AN EXPERIENCE?

I know I blog about him every so often but Fitzy is, for context, the very first car I ever drove and have been driving since getting my permit in 20 fucking 11. TWENTY ELEVEN! HOLY HELL! I low key picked him out lmao, my parents brought us kiddos to the dealership when we had to replace the civic as old as me bc it got TOTALLED on the HIGHWAY by a TRUCK REAR ENDING IT, and my mom pointed out the Fit and went ou this one's cute!

And I stood beside it and went holy shit. It's me sized. And I sat in it and went OH MY GOD I LOVE IT. And it was BLUE and had a SPOILER and a lil bug eyed face and looked like it had FEELINGS and I said to my dad "if we get this car I am driving it"

I was 11 or 12 lmao.

My dad was like "We'll see about that"

in my head I was like "it's 4 years! we'll still have the car!"

I guess my dad wanted to trade it in? He didn't, lol, and then I got to learn to drive in Fitzy! AND BOY DID I DRIVE HIM! My siblings did, too, so Fitzy's been a real champ in our lives! We all learnt to drive with him!

I didn't take the car fully from my Dad until about, 2019? I got the car for a year in 2016/17 and it was EXCELLENT, I LOVED having it, the ability to just GO PLACES?!?!?!? BEAUTY! I covered some oil changes and bigger fixes and Fitzy kept. On. GOING.

I named Fitzy in 2017 when I had him for the year, and it caught on then! And he was such a verbal lil car (mostly bc things broke a lot bc he was also 10 at that point and FILLED WITH RUST BEGINNINGS) and he pulled to the left always which was funny bc like, why. We never knew. Honda didn't know. Mechanics didn't know.

He has ALWAYS had a slightly loud muffler, but not obnoxiously. It was very FUN to accelerate on the highway with him.

In 2019 my Dad's work went remote; so I took the car back home with me and became the main driver. It was, in all but name, my car. I had to save him from being declared unsafe by fixing the shocks, but we had many many years after that! My GOD we drove all OVER. It was FUN! It's still fun! but not very safe anymore I'm afraid ):

My duderinos, I fucking LOVE that car. And it has been such a hard 365 days for him ):

About this time last year I learnt that the rust had progressed to the point where the rear passenger seat had a giant fucking hole under it. I was given the ok to still drive it, but the moment someone sits back there? DANGER MOBILE. So, I put the seat down and it became CONDEMNED. Given the wedding, Richard and I kept making trips up and down and we had a HELLA snowy winter so the roads? COVERED in salt. and if you live anywhere like Canada with brutal winters, you KNOW salt is a KILLER on cars.

So, Fitzy's rust got worse. Every time I went for oil changes, they'd remind me hey, rusty car. maybe think of a new one? Then we'd discuss how feasible this is and they'd make it driveable bc it wasn't in the cards to get a car--between shit markets, FITS NOT BEING MADE ANYMORE!!! AND Richard also having to replace his car (rip Goldie you are missed every god damn DAY), it was in our best interest to keep Fitzy going as best as we could.

So I DID

We MOTORED. I've done 120km ish on that car JUST ON ME OWNSOME! And it was FUN! I love that car SO FUCKING MUCH. I know like, it's just a car, blah blah, I GET IT but like. GOD. He's important to me!!!!

So this year rolls around. And Poor Ftizy. My god. He is going through it.

January: wheel well pops off and tire shreds the plastic. I call CAA, they bring it to Honda, Honda tells me to put the car down. Nothing has changed; they just saw the rust and are more SALES oriented as opposed to my mechanic!

February: alternator goes

March: muffler has lost an anchor point; won't stop rattling along. Rust on the bumper finally gets to the point where the bumper pops out of the side. Y'all. I duct tapped that boy. Fucken eh.

April: MUFFLER BREAKS INTO 3 PIECES. FITZY HAS GONE FROM STOCK CAR FUN TIME TO HOLY SHIT SOMEONE HELP THIS CAR. We're planning for the wedding so I cannot fix him, alas.

May: Fitzy is benched ): bc muffler ): Goldie picks up the slack; post honeymoon, mechanic finds some expensive fixes. Asks Richard if they're band-aiding or what? Richard makes the executive decision to leave it, arranges a new used car with his mechanic. RIP Goldie; enter Ruby.

Late May: Given Ruby joining the fam, I get Fitzy fixed. We can't replace both cars anytime soon so. Here we go!

The mechanic recommends a muffler specialist down the street; they fix Fitzy up REAL NICE. He drives like he used to! I was like, we will be SAILING THIS SUMMER! HELL YEAH

So what happened?

Upon Richard getting a new car, I was thinking more and more about Fitzy. And the anxious levels alllll year every time I went to drive waiting for the next shoe to drop (the next thing to break). I started doing research, to see what the best car to replace the Fit would be. I start pricing shit out, seeing if two car replacements in the same year is feasible. June rolls around.

June: I went to the mechanic.

Regular maintenance; they do what they can, and they see how the rust has progressed.

The answer: WORSE. Worse enough that new rust related problems have appeared, and they break down everything wrong with the body:

still got the flinstone hole

anchors for back seat belts are compromised due to corrosion levels back there

spare tire carrier is rotten

left AND right rockers are rotten

left front axle seal is leaking

essentially, if someone rear ends me? I'm crumbling WITH the car. The structural integrity of cars today is such that they crumble AROUND you, keeping YOU safe. Fitzy...didn't have that ability anymore.

So after a month long deep dive into used HRVs vs Fits, and what's around, and what I'd like, I book a test drive for an HRV, and...got it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So now Fitzy is finally being retired. After I've saved him from the brink of death about 2 times. It was BOUND to happen eventually--I just wish it hasn't been the SAME year as wedding and Richard's car replacement and EVERYTHING ELSE going on this year.

But my GOD, am I EVER relieved! I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am for the new car and being able to DRIVE! WITHOUT WORRIES! Well, Fitzy worries lmao. The worries of collisions or things are there, but my god is it ever nice to be able to GO PLACES AGAIN WITHOUT FEARING FOR MY SAFETY! And Richard and I have had to coordinate drives and trips bc one car use only for the most part and it was getting hard!

BUT GOD IS BUYING A CAR EVER EMOTIONAL

On top of me pack bonding with my Fit, this weekend was a WHIRLWIND:

test driving the car was fucking NICE

the sales staff was gr8 and didn't rush us or force us to buy. answered all my fit and hrv related questions; all of richard's more financial/warranty sort of q's.

They tell us to take lunch to go talk it over, and we do

we have a 2 hour discussion over omelettes at a ma and pa diner about if we should do this, given what we learnt about the market while there and our own needs

this included: can we function with one car? do we feel financially secure enough for this? Will leasing/fianncing (which is what we did) break the bank? y'know, all that fun adulty shit

ultimately, you can't put a price on A) safety, and B) mental health! and not having a car that works has SUCKED for my own, bc a huge portion of my independence has been GONE, and it has SUCKED

so, Harley, Fitzy's replacement, has been acquiered.

HERE'S THE EMOTIONS PART THO.

SATURDAY:

upon making this decision amongst ourselves, we inform the parental units! my fam: relieved as FUCK. Proud and happy for me. Figuring out what to do with Fitzy now (that's a whole thing)

Mother in Law? not so much

IMMEDIATELY gives Richard the MEANEST lecture on everything he and I discussed over lunch and the past month, berates and guitls and just ruins the vibe

RICHARD gets all upset about it, we spend the drive back home venting about it, mood very ruined, doubts seeded (despite us doing our research and making sure we weren't getting fucked and such)

we get home and he THEN has to call her back and let her yell MORE before she goes "I'm calm and just concerned" and he explains what we did and how it's working and all that jazz and how we are going to be ok

this whole experience was exhausting

SUNDAY

sleep tf in bc we are TIRED

my parents call to chat about Fitzy and tl;dr: they have steel dealers there that'll pay a lot for Fitzy and want to bring him back and scrap him there

this was a whole thing. "can you drive it up?" i could but do NOT feel comfy given the issues cited at the mechanic. "what if we drove it?" same issues! your safety is important to me! "we can tow it" that'll be pricey "we can tow it ourselves!" can the van do that? and so on

turns out they were doing that bc they remembered the van they had, which had the EXACT SAME ISSUES AS FITZY (rust was killing it, then the muffler broke and they fixed it, then the power steering needed replacement but was in such a rusty area it could result in MORE damage they'd have to pay to fix, not the mechanic), and they got 0 money for it. So. My Mom was determined to find a place that'd give us a decent amount for Fitzy

And also, she and my dad are grieving the car too lmao, one of the places was called car heaven and my mom had. emotions about it

so that was a LOT to deal with, on top of MIL's finance lecture we did not need bc YEAH GIRL WE BE KNOW? Yeah

"blah blah PARENTS CARE" THEN THEY COULD AT LEAST BE NICE ABOUT IT. OR STRAIGHTFORWARD ABOUT IT

but we get that wrapped up and my parents find a way to tow the car home safely for all of us, promise to make sure the van is safe enough to do that :)

MONDAY

so after ALL THAT exhausting shit, comes the Big Day: INSURANCE DAY

Richard and I get quotes online when we can at work, to come home and call and settle on the best rates

on lunch, I get YET ANOTHER FINANCE LECTURE from my friend in STATS and it felt AWFUL.

"i dont wanna be like ur MIL," she said, AFTER KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED THERE!

it SUCKED. didn't help that she was tired bc she had a bad night sleep, but man did it make me upset and sad! I KNOW the interest is a LOT but WE ARE NOT FLUSH WITH CASH AND DO NOT HAVE GOOD CREDIT AND HAVE BEEN SPENDING WAY TOO MUCH ON CAR REPAIRS. Everything I've paid into Fitzy this year alone? COULD COVER THE NEW INSURANCE POLICY FOR THE Y E A R

i dislike being talked down too and i dislike people talking to me like i'm stupid bc I feel like a lot of people take my bubbly-ness and like. general friendly-ness as a clue that I've got NOTHING going on up there and I can be taken advantage of

AND SURE MAYBE I'M NOT THE GREATEST WITH NUMBERS OR BUSINESS TALK, BUT I'M NOT FUCKING STUPID AND I FEEL LIKE ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ARE OLDER THAN ME ARE LIKE "haha. you are baby" THE FUCK I AM! I HAVE INSURANCE NOW

not that I didn't before. but now I have me OWN policy

AND THAT WAS ACTUALLY SO PAINLESS? SHOPPING AROUND INCLUDED?

so YEAH.

It's been a very emotional few days between lecture after lecture and trying to make these decisions with a lot of people undermining you and today before coming up to the laptop after we got insurance worked out, Richard turned to me and said "your spirit seems so much lighter now" and it IS! I CAN DRIVE WITHOUT NEEDING TO DO A NERVOUS SHIT AT EVERY ON ROUTE AGAIN! I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THE NEXT NEW WEIRD NOISE! HARLEY (that's Fitzy's successor's name) DOESN'T DO THAT SHIT! I HAVE A WORKING CAR AND THE MONEY WE WILL SAVE FROM BAND-AIDING OUR BEATERS WILL BE A NICE CHANGE OF PACE! AND I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE TALKING DOWN TO ME AND TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! GAH!

Soooo YEAH. If you've made it this far, that's what I've been doing the last 3 days. CAR STUFF.

Fitzy, you were an absolute G, and I love you so goddamn much, you will always be the BEST CAR I have EVER had, and you will ALWAYS BE in my HEART and I will remember you FONDLY! He's got a space in CS now--he always has but it's even more cemented now (Jacqueline drives Fitzy. And he is. In his PRIME in CS, and I think that's the best thing I could do to remember my lil blue anger machine for forever) and I am going to miss that car so much but THANK YOU, FITZHERBERT. HE GOD DAMN FIT!

(THAT CAR PHOTOGRAPHED GOOD IN THE GOD DAMN SNOW! And dw dw Pate will have a new home in Harley! RIGHT ON THE DASH. Or on the rear view, tho I may go full old portuguese lady and put a rosary on there (we got a very pretty one from a family friend for the wedding and I uh. I'm kinda vibing it)

#dani speaks #personal #fitzy #and cs FACTS so you all now know what car Jacqueline drives #FITZY WILL LIVE FOREVER THERE BC JACQUELINE FUCKING RUST PROOFS #IF MY DAD HAD RUST PROOFED FITZY !!! I'D STILL BE DRIVING THAT CAR SAFELY!#anyway thanks for reading if u did lmao. the car stuff has been A LOT #and i appreciate the vent space tumblr offers and the people who read and give that lil like or reply for serotonin lol #and yes. the vanity plate is what u think it is #it's my dad's so it will be retired given that harley is registered to ME (and richard)#and fitzy was registered to my dad!#out of context jacquelines #dani doodles #those are so i can find the doodles later lmao

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cyberphuck · 7 months

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ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART ONE My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, it was a really fucking long time ago, sorry, I stopped going to church and learned to chainsmoke (and this book is LONG, I mean it’s LOOOOOOONG, so I kept avoiding getting started on Abridging it, lmao). You can brush up on the frankly insane amount of different characters here at the Royal Assassin Cast of Characters post, or find the links to the rest of the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series here at this link here.

- Fitz awakens one fine October morning in a bed at Jhaampe hospital, where he's been recovering from being poisoned and poisoned and bludgeoned and kicked and drowned. At first he was having eighty seizures a day, but now that it's down to only twenty-five seizures a day, he and Burrich figure it's high time for the two of them to skedaddle before they get snowed in.

Then, exactly like that scene in Attack on Titan where Eren reaches for a spoon and accidentally turns into a Titan, Fitz drops a spoon and accidentally turns into a seizure. It's a lot less cool. He wakes up hours later back in the same damn hospital bed with Jonqui the King's Sister and now healer sitting beside him.

"This sucks," he whines.

"Time heals all wounds, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says sagely.

"Shut the fuck up. I'm fifteen and obviously know a lot more than you about healing, and I've decided I'm never going to get better."

Burrich strides healthily into the room with a swanky new skunk stripe in his hair where his skull was recently cracked open. "What-ho, Lil Accident, are you ready to go back to Buckkeep?"

"No. Everybody's gonna make fun of me. You go back without me."

"So long as you wear that collar," Burrich says solemnly, "I must follow you."

Fitz touches the black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "The way you followed my father?"

"Yes."

"Was it like, a sex thing?"

Burrich, who has enough hidden piercings to set off a metal detector at twenty paces, asks, "Are we going back to Buckkeep or what? I'm getting kind of bored sitting here watching you do the Harlem Shake."

"Also, I heard that Molly's candle shop was foreclosed on and she had to go live with relatives in a town that's about to be raided by Vikings," The Fool says from under the bed.

"Gosh, I wish I could talk to King Shrewd or the Fool or find out what's happening to Molly," Fitz sighs, then sits up as the room fills with the wavy lines and harp glissando of a dream sequence.

"Wake up, King Shrewd," the Fool says. He's sitting on a chair, not under the bed or in a hay bale for once, and Fitz finds it extremely disturbing.

"Fool? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, King Shrewd and not Fitz, I have to be here because you're sick and old," the Fool fools. "Here, let me fluff your pillows and feed you soup."

"This is so weird," Shrewd-Fitz says. "I feel like... oh, the Skill line is ringing. What? Vikings are viking Siltbay so late in the fall?"

"You know, it's creepy when you talk to yourself like that," the Fool mutters.

But Shitz (Shrewd-Fitz) is already on a Skill video call, watching the Red-Ship Raiders pulling up onto the coast. Vikings run through the town, viking everything in sight. The raiders are wading through blood up to their knees, people are running around headless and on fire, it's awful. The raiders aren't even stealing anything-- they're just wrecking stuff, which anyone who's been to a Raiders game can attest to (go Cowboys).

"Fool," Shitz says. "You can see the future, right?"

"This is a weird time to reveal that particular nugget of information, but sure. Let's see... ah, yes. I see a bard who can't fucking read the room trying to find a rhyme for 'dismembered child.' That is not something Jaydee made up, it's a real line from the book."

"Thank you, Fool, that's extremely fucked up," Shitz says. "Oh wait, who's this on the video call... It's Molly! Oh SHIT, it's Molly and Vikings are going to vike her!"

But Molly wasn't called Molly Nosebleed as a kid because she's a trembling little violet. A Viking tries to vike her and she stabs him to death, whirls around and shouts "WHO WANTS SOME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

Then a house falls on her.

"Oh god, oh fuck," Shitz says, panicking. "Fool, use your future vision and tell me if Molly's okay!"

"A bunch of women died in a bunch of horrible ways," the Fool says. "Do you want me to list them?"

"No," Shitz says, and so the Fool doesn't spend two pages describing the graphic sexual assault, murder, and maiming of a bunch of townsfolk. Shitz sits back in his bed. "Run off and let Verity know Siltbay is being viked."

Ever loyal, the Fool cartwheels down the stairs. Then Shitz sighs and says, "Man, being old sucks."

"Yes it does, so quit your fucking whining about your little seizures and come home," Shrewd says, and ends the Skill call.

The next morning, Fitz-Fitz packs up his stuff and heads out with Burrich and Hands to make the long boring trip back to Buckkeep.

The return to Buckkeep sucks especially hard because they have to take the 99 instead of the I-5 like last time, and Fitz is getting carsick. Along the way they keep having to stay in incredibly sketch Super 8s, which wouldn't be that bad (free soap and free weird smells!) but Burrich and Hands overhear someone standing out in the hallway talking loudly on their phone about how much King Shrewd fucking sucks.

"Yeah he keeps raising taxes to 'defend our country' or whatever but Vikings are still viking the beach towns as much as they want," had said the Buckboi in the hallway. "You know who rules, though, Prince Regal!"

"What towns did Buckboi say were viked?" Fitz asks.

"A town no one cares about," Hands answers solemnly, "and the one where Molly had a house fall on her."

After that incident, Burrich decides that they're gonna make the rest of the trip using surface streets and driving through people's yards. "If Regal finds out you're out here, he'll send someone to kill you," Burrich explains. "Verity's definitely not gonna protect you."

"Is that because he consistently sees me as a tool first and a family member and human being second?"

"Look," Hands interrupts. "I see Buckkeep-shaped lights in the distance." They ride up to the gates, which are guarded by a kid who was born a thousand years too early to be the squeaky-voiced teen working at the drive-thru. “Halt,” he squeaks. “Who the fuck are you?“

Burrich scoffs. ”Who the fuck are YOU?“

”I asked you first!“

”I asked you sec—“

”All right, all right, who's holding up the line?“ The last book had a rich and exhausting cast of random extras murmuring in the background, but this one used all of their budget on talking CGI wolves, so they had to fire most of them and give almost all of their lines to Blade, The Guard Captain. His job is to appear at important moments and say things like 'hear, hear!' and 'how big WAS she?' “Holy shit, it's Burrich! Twitter said you and Chivalry's Post Nut Regret were dead!”

“It's called X now,” Fitz says, emerging dramatically from the shadows.

“Oh.” Blade says, while four of the other guards die of secondhand embarrassment. “H-hi, Chivalry's Pos... I mean... Fitz. You uh. Did you have a nice trip? Hey, you... did something with your hair, it looks... it looks good!”

“Prince Regal was going around telling everyone I was dead, wasn't he,” Fitz says flatly.

“Sometimes I can still hear his voice,“ Regal sighs from somewhere in the castle.

”What? No. What?? No! What?! No!“ Blade laughs as six more guards thud to the ground. ”No, of course not! It was just, you know, like, you know. YOU know. You know. I didn't really believe you were dead, I did retweet the link Regal posted but I commented with 'big if true,' so it wasn't really...”

Fitz smiles. “Ho ho ho, Captain, don't worry your sweet little tits about it. Everyone falls victim to misinformation from time to time, and I accept the apology I assume you were about to provide me. Do carry about your business.”

Halfway up to the stables, Burrich pulls Fitz aside. “Listen, Lil Accident, we're not at Grandma's house anymore,” he hisses. “You can't talk to people like you matter or Regal's gonna get his panties in a knot about it.”

“And then he'll choke me,” Fitz agrees.

“What?”

“With his knotted up panties.“

”I'm also still alive,“ Hands offers after a long silence. ”Fitz, you're too weak and pathetic to wax your own horse, let me do it.“

”But...“

”Come on, Fitz, let Hands, my new favorite child, take care of the important work.“ Burrich takes Fitz's arm. ”Now go on up to the castle, that collar is making everybody question their sexuality.“

”What's a sexuality?“ Fitz asks, just before he's shoved into the castle, screen door banging behind him.

Inside, Fitz looks around and notices that the place looks cleaner than it had before he'd left on the world's worst road trip. All the beer cans and ash trays have been cleaned up, someone's taken down the band posters and put up tasteful watercolors of succulents, and the 'NICE COCK' that had been scrawled above the toilet has been replaced with 'live laugh love.'

”Wrow,“ muses Fitz as he passes a sign on Verity's door that reads 'IF THE WARSHIP'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'. ”I'm kinda gonna miss the crusty sock smell. Good thing my room still reeks like teenaged boy.“

#rote #robin hobb #fitzchivalry farseer #ra abridged #this one's a little rough but I promise I'll warm up

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maislovebot · 1 year

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Bsd m.list!

• characters who are listed are the only characters I will write for!

ADA!:

Fukuzawa!:

Atsushi!:

{Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?}

• NSFW abc’s, smut, fluff!

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Atsu gives you head!

{I love you in the worst way}

• threesome (atsu+reader+aku), overstim, jealousy!

{mary is the girl that I wanna kiss}

• hcs, overstim, mating press!

{mirror sex}

• ramble, insecurity comfort, riding!

{I don’t think there’s anything better than you!}

• fluff, insecurity comfort, praise!

{valentine’s day hcs}

• fluff, hcs, smut!

{Atsushi & his oral fixation}

• smut, cunnilingus, overstim!

Dazai!:

{‘Cause you know what a girl like me really needs right now?}

• smut, oral (reader receiving), overstim!

Yosano!:

Kunikida!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Kida gives you head!

{valentine’s day hcs}

• fluff, hcs, smut!

Jun’ichiro!: (will accept requests but under very strict restrictions.)

Ranpo!:

PM!:

Mori! (Will accept requests but under very strict restrictions.)

Ace!:

Chuuya!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Chuuya gives you head!

{I just threw out the love of my dreams}

• face sitting, makeup sex, aftercare!

Kouyou!:

Aku!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Ryu gives you head!

{I love you in the worst way}

• threesome (atsu+reader+aku), overstim, jealousy!

Higuchi!:

Tachihara!:

Oda!:

Ango!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Ango gives you head!

The Guild!:

Francis!:

{Money is the anthem of success}

• fluff, suggestive, drabble!

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Fitzy gives you head!

Poe!:

Lucy!:

Louisa!:

Margaret!:

John!:

DOA!:

All DOA members!:

{vampirism hcs}

• slight smut, vampirism, hcs!

Bram!:

{I love everything you do}

• smut, bath sex, vampirism!

Sigma!:

{There’s something about you..}

• smut, insecurity comfort, virgin sigma!

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Sigma gives you head!

{Thank you}

• drabble, fluff, pampering!

{beautiful}

• gn reader, body insecurity, chubby reader!

{light shower}

• vampire sigma, human reader, hurt/comfort!

{vampire}

• vampire sigma, human reader, headcanons!

{Fedya & Sigma x reader with paranoia}

• drabbles, domestic, hurt/comfort!

{sigma thirst}

• ramble, oral (reader receiving), me thirsting over Sigma’s long hair!

Fyodor!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Fedya gives you head!

{Fedya & Sigma x reader with paranoia}

• drabbles, domestic, hurt/comfort!

Nikolai!:

Hunting Dogs!:

Jouno!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Jouno gives you head!

Tecchou!:

Other!:

Mushitaro!:

{check top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios m.list!}

• Mushi gives you head!

Yokomizo!:

Shibusawa (coming soon)!:

Yukito! (coming soon)!:

Mizuki (coming soon)!:

More to come..!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd smut #bsd #atsushi nakajima x reader #francis scott key x reader #dazai osamu x reader smut #dazai osamu x reader #atsushi Nakajima x reader smut #francis scott key fitzgerald x reader

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asteria-argo · 8 months

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🌻🌹🌸🌷🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻 <- for whenever you want to post more ‘oc stuff’

thank you!! I have the perfect scene for these flowers!

Fitz doesn’t pay Jamie any mind at all as she bounds forward, and Jamie finally see’s what she’s racing off towards with only a moment to register that it’s a fucking kid before Fitz has already pounced on the unsuspecting soul who was kicking a ball around in the dark by the dim light of a street lamp. The kid yelps at the sudden weight, tumbling back as Fitz fucking attacked them with slobbery kisses. “Hi Miss Fitzy!” a familiar little voice laughs, before Jamie has the chance to panic much about his dog pouncing on some strangers fucking kid, Shiloh’s little head of blonde hair is popping up from the mountain of fluff she was buried under “what’re you doing out here so late? are you lost?” Jamie could be asking the same thing to her, glancing at the watch on his wrist quickly to confirm that it was in fact eleven fucking thirty at night before looking around the park to try and find some kind of responsible adult that might at least be with the nine year old that's apparently roaming around in the middle of the night. There isn’t one.

#asteria answers asks #wip stuff #jamie tartt #shiloh marsh #teacher jamie au #to all the better places #thirteenemeraldcats

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gardenerian · 9 months

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What if f scott Fitzgerald came back up to earth and said “it’s pronounced jatsby” and then left

hello good morning i just snorted tea up my nose thank you askdjfh i have several questions about this actually:

how would i know that was the real fitzgerald? is he ghostly? does he float and/or is he transparent? or could it just be a guy doing cosplay? if i am to trust this man i gotta know he's the real deal

also who is he telling this to? just me? i am too lowly to spread this news. no one would believe me. everyone already distrusts me for pronouncing gif like jif..... they'd think it was all part of the agenda, like obviously i can persuaded to a soft g, y'know?

what would be his expected outcome? we gotta redub all them film adaptations? carey mulligan's gonna have to redo that creepy "😧🥺 gatsby? 🥺😧" line? someone needs to call sam waterston? i think the resounding response will be: "i'm not Saying That"

will i have the opportunity to ask any followup questions? such as: hey, what? why do you think it's like that and why are you showing up 99 years later to set the record straight? also do you find it annoying that people have gatsby themed weddings that fundamentally miss the point of the novel? or does that, in a way, actually encapsulate the point???

don't ask an english major these questions unless you want to immediately be annoyed. basically if this happened.... i would be very confused. but i am not sure it would do much asdkljfh i think fitzy would be disappointed in this particular trip back here

#we're getting silly question time on the dash i see #what do YOU think would happen #good news i am still loud and irritating #thank you for the morning chuckle #mel answers

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man-down-in-hatchet-town · 11 months

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What's Up

Hello 50-odd followers I've gained in the last two weeks! You may have signed up for the Starkid content, but surprise! You also get me writing a full-ass response to the latest episode of Shipwrecked's The Case of the Greater Gatsby every week! If you haven't listened to it, please it give it a try. It's a hoot and two halves!

As ever, spoilers for Episode 11 (already??) under the cut.

First of all, I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE LOCATION OF THE TAPES! This was a fairly basic thing to be right about, but seeing as there really are so many threads (lmao that SONG) complicating this story, I'm going to take the victories I can get. And we can't say it wasn't fun listening to Fig repeatedly fail at the not-so-simple task of getting Sheila to leave her own living room.

The real highlight of the episode, however, was Ford's interview with Vivian. My beloved Fightingale were back and in full force today, folks. Ford definitely feels like something's off with Vivian--though it's unclear if he's clocked what @katvantassel pointed out weeks ago about Vivian knowing that Fitzgerald was strangled before Fig or Ford could tell her. And her alibi is definitely sketchy--almost like something she specifically designed in hopes of making Ford uncomfortable or short-circuiting his brain. Also, the way Vivian and Mo say the details of that night out loud to each other sounds very much like they're concocting their story together then and there. It's interesting to note that Mo's corroboration explicitly covers midnight and afterwards, since we know thanks to Jasper Fox that Fitzgerald was killed in that exact time period. Could that even possibly be a coincidence? And more generally, are Mo and Vivian in cahoots? That would explain how Vivian prematurely knew about the asphyxiation, but would really bring into question why she needs Fig and Ford when there's a cop at her beck and call. Unless, of course, Barnaby is too powerful to be investigated by the police force, so she has to use our favorite detectives to frame or point the finger at her husband instead...

But then again, there's the Bixby angle to it all. If Mo really is trying to bring down Bixby, why would the bar's favorite performer be working with him? I suppose they could be two completely separated plot points. Or maybe Vivian's making a play to claim Bixby's as her own? After all, we do know she doesn't hold the highest esteem for Bixby's other acts... AHHHH. SO MANY THREADS!

Speaking of which, "Too Many Threads" was an absolute smooth bop, with cleverly meta lyrics, a tantalizingly pointed final verse (is Vivian taunting Ford?), and that perfect combination of Dylan Glatthorn's songwriting and Mary Kate Wiles' voice that we've come to know and love. Please release this song soon, Shipwrecked! I will buy it from you! (Bonus points for also including Clark's Cole Porter cover from last week!)

In other news, it turns out that Bixby, so helpful this episode in recapping all of the various mysteries and cases, was not in fact lying about his financial issues in order to cover up for the Brigade. His landlord, Old Bob, has been drastically raising the rent! Could this have anything to do with anything else, or is it just typically vampiric landlord shenanigans?

AND THAT CLIFFHANGER OF AN ENDING! Oh Persauds, this is the cruelest thing you've done yet. I can't wait to hear from Fitzy himself next episode!

#the case of the greater gatsby #shipwrecked comedy #fig wineshine #ford phillips #vivian nightingale #fightingale #mo beats #bixby

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baphomimi · 2 months

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tell me about your demon ocs... ime interested

HIII omg sorry it took me a hot min to reply to this i didnt have access to my pc with all my old art lol.... thank u for blessing my inbox ur a lil cutie (:

me n my friends have a hell-themed worldbuild and i made so many funny friends to populate it that i honestly couldnt talk about them all haha so i will pick 1 guy that i dont think ive posted art of yet question mark?

his name is FITZIE. and hes an ARSEHOLE. well hes more just annoying lmao. in personality but also annoying to draw :)

he actually used to be a human, he was studying 2 become a doctor but then he got caught up in the club scene in berlin lol n became a raver and also may have accidentally started a satanic cult bc he accidentally found a record that came from hell and playing it makes humans trip tf out and see visions of hell lolll

eventually he fucked around and found out and became a demon. and a furry. so now he PARTIES 24/7 hes a club promoter lol but he will occasionally dabble in the medical profession for shady individuals that dont wanna go to hospital (but do u really want a clown operating on u)

he has like cartoon physics lol so u can beat him up and stretch him out and he just stretches back lol. also the candies that grow on his fur (ew) grant monkeys paw ass wishes if u eat them lol

#TY FOR ASKING #i realise v diff to my current art aesthetic haha i dont have any excuses or explanations #furry art #furry oc

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chloristoflora · 2 years

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"Be myself. And who would that be?" He set down the glass, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms on his chest.

"I don't know. I wish you were the Fool," I said quietly. "But I think we have come too far to go back to that pretense. Yet, if we could, I would. Willingly." I looked away from him. I kicked at the end of a hearth log, pushing it farther into the fire and waking new flames in a gust of sparks. "When I think of you now, I do not even know how to name you to myself. You are not Lord Golden to me. You never truly were. Yet you are not the Fool anymore, either." I steeled myself as the words came to me, unplanned but obvious. How could the truth be so difficult to say?

For a teetering instant, I feared he would misunderstand my words. Then I knew that he would know exactly what I meant by them. For years, he had shown that he understood my feelings, in the silences he kept. Before we parted company, I had to repair, somehow, the rift between us. The words were the only tool I had. They echoed of the old magic, of the power one gained when one knew someone's true name. I was determined. And yet, the utterance still came awkward to my tongue.

"You said once that I might call you 'Beloved', if I no longer wished to call you 'Fool'." I took a breath. "Beloved, I have missed your company."

He lifted a hand and covered his mouth. Then he disguised the gesture by rubbing his chin as if he thought something through carefully. I do not know what expression he hid behind his palm. When he dropped his hand from his face, he was smiling wryly. "Don't you think that might cause some talk about the keep?"

I let his comment pass for I had no answer to it. He had spoken to me in the Fool's mocking voice. Even as it soothed my heart, I had to wonder if it was a sham for my benefit. Did he show me what I wished to see, or what he was?

"Well." He sighed. "I suppose that if you were going to have an appropriate name for me, it would still be Fool. So let us leave it at that, Fitzy. To you, I am the Fool." He looked into the fire and laughed softly. "It balances, I suppose. Whatever is to come for us, I will always have these words to recall now." He looked at me and nodded gravely, as if thanking me for returning something precious to him.

There were so many things I wanted to discuss with him. I wanted to review the Prince's mission and talk about Web and ask him why he now gambled so much and what his wild extravagances meant. But I suddenly wanted to add no more words to what we had said tonight. As he had said, it balanced now. It was a hovering scale between us; I would chance no word that might tip it awry again. I nodded to him and rose slowly. When I reached the door, I said quietly, "Then, good night, Fool." I opened the door and went out into the corridor.

"Good night, beloved," he said from his fireside chair. I shut the door softly behind myself.

Golden Fool, by Robin Hobb (Tawny Man Trilogy #2)

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safyresky · 2 years

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so anyway i brought fitzy into the mechanic today bc his battery light went on and he sounds like he is a vhs rewinding. battery light was OFF this morning which was SUS, but he was still whining so i got to the mechanic and told them "yeah it's off now but he still sounds like a VHS tape being rewound very very fast" and the mechanic looked at me and went "ha, everyone will understand that" but the tone he used. had me unsure. if he was SERIOUS or SARCASTIC.

#dani speaks #between fitzy's battery light going on and the eavestrough falling off the house midstorm last night and an unexpected roommate til MARCH #it has been a goddamn week and a HALF and i am both THANKFUL it is thursday and SOBBING because it is only thursday #ANYWAY the mechanic looks as young as me so it could go either way ☠

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slytherinboysappreciation · 7 months

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heya love <3 can you do 🍄, ❄️ and 🌸 for the writer asks please? <3

Hi, Mari! 🥰 Of course! Thank you for the ask!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I already answered this one for Blaise and Luna, but I have so many favorite ships I’ll answer it again 💛

As far as I know, it’s not a very popular ship, but I adore Astoria and Ginny together. Last year I created an entire AU for the Slytherin gang and Astoria and Ginny practically shipped themselves together.

I think they’re a strangers to best friends to lovers case. My headcanon for them is that after the diary, Ginny felt closer to Slytherin than she did Gryffindor, so she started seeking friends there.

Astoria definitely helps Ginny discover the more feminine side of herself. I HC that Ginny has a slightly negative view of women and femininity due to growing up with so many older brothers, but Astoria challenges that and the two become literally inseparable.

(I could go on and on about the friendship and eventual soft slow burn between the two but I’ll save that for an actual headcanon thing sometime)

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

My dream plot for a fic is based around the Slytherin gang AU I have. It’s a best friend’s older brother fic about Tom Riddle and has just the absolute BEST comedic and found family moments.

TBH, I have no idea who would write it best. Given how extensive my plotting of the AU is, it would genuinely either end up being me or my irl best friend bc I tell her about it all the time.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I do!! I have one dog (she’s more my sister’s, really). She’s a Morkie, or Maltese Yorkie. Her name is Isabella Fitz, or Fitzie for short. (She’s named after my favorite girl’s name and a character from the TV show Agents of SHIELD)

Here is a picture of her

#thanks for the ask 🥰#sorry it’s so long lol #i’m in my oversharing era #slytherinboysappreciation loves thatdammchickennugget #ask game #evie’s rambles

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battyaboutbooksreviews · 5 months

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🦇 Finally Fitz Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD If you have a plant, what type is it and what would you name it OR what's the story behind your Insta handle?❓ 🦇 When Ava "Fitz" Fitzgerald travels to New York with her girlfriend, Danica, she's ready for the perfect summer attending a prestigious summer fashion program that will take her upcycling Insta account to the next level. Unfortunately, Danica upends her plans by dumping her before classes even start, blaming Fitz's obsession with her online persona. To show she's willing to do anything to win Danica back, Fitz takes a break from social media. After reuniting with her long-lost, childhood best friend Levi, she strikes up a plan to win Dani back by making her jealous. Unfortunately, even the most carefully designed plans can come apart at the seams.

💜 Fitz is adorably chaotic and entirely too realistic. A perfectionist with three sisters and parents too busy to pay her much notice, Fitz connects to her older sisters by upcycling their old clothes, turning them into new creations. Unfortunately, that perfectionism causes her to become creatively blocked, leading Fitz to realize there's just as much beauty in imperfections and being authentically yourself, sans filter.

💜 There are so many adorable tropes in Finally Fitz, giving it elements of a comforting, familiar rom-com. I loved Fitz's dynamic with her sisters (I'm the oldest of four girls, and she's the youngest), who always felt shut out and disconnected as the baby among them. The underlying mental health topics of self-worth, authenticity, and work-life balance gave this story the extra layer of depth it needed. I also appreciated the normalcy around queerness (and the touch on biophobia/bi-erasure) for both Fitz and Levi.

💙 Fitzy. Oh, sweet, sweet Fitzy. Fake kissing your childhood best friend and plotting a curated, fake relationship to make your ex jealous is not okay. Not respecting someone's boundaries or desire for a healthier relationship (by their definition) is not okay. The moment Fitz started down that route, I disconnected from her, even as a fellow messy bi. Everything that Danika considered a red flag was entirely valid, and Fitz only made things worse for herself.

🦇 Recommended for fans of She Gets the Girl or To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Great if you love a messy fake-dating rom-com.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🪡 Second Chance Romance 🪴 Friends to Lovers 🪡 Mental Health Rep 🪴 Bi FMC + Bi4Bi Romance 🪡 Young Adult/Coming-of-Age 🪴 Queer Supporting Cast 🪡 Jewish FMC

🦇 Major thanks to the author @marisakanter and publisher @simonteen for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #FinallyFitz

💬 Quotes ❝ But if I’m a person who never shows people less than their best . . . how is it possible to still feel like my best is never enough? ❞ ❝ Because it’s one thing when queerphobic trash invalidate your identity. It’s another thing entirely to experience biphobia from within the queer community. ❞ ❝ Because everyone deserves clothes that empower them to feel like the best, most authentic versions of themselves. ❞ ❝ I just want to bottle the feeling that’s finding the one person in this universe who gets you and sees you—the whole unfiltered truth of you— and loves you anyway. ❞

#book reviews #queer books #queer fiction #bisexuality #bi books #friends to lovers #second chance romance #ya books #young adult books #mental health #batty about books #battyaboutbooks #book: finally fitz #author: marisa kanter

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