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owls-den · 2 years

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"Chip On My Shoulder" - Chapter 01

THE FIRST CHAPTER FOR MY TRIP AS POKEMON COORDINATOR/MUSICAL ACTOR FANFICTION IS FINALLY OUT!!! WOOP WOOP!!

❝ After losing so close to his goal, Trip is left at a loss at what to do with his life. His rivals are moving on with theirs, so why can't he? Questioning the very reason he has gone on this journey in the first place, he does not suspect that a seemingly innocuous step into the world of musical theater will have such an impact on his future, bringing him closer to people he once shunned. ❞

This took... forever. I kept second guessing myself and how to write it but it's finally there!!... Now for the second chapter... ueueueue

It has Legally Blonde spoilers, like I'm describing a LOT of the musical, so please do go watch it if you haven't and don't wanna get spoiled. It's a pretty cool musical either way :DD

Thanks to @mangoberri for the beta reading :))

The chapter is also available on here JUST under the cut if you don't want to go on AO3!

Take back the books and pack up the clothes Clear out the room and drop off the key Leave with what's left of my dignity Get in the car and just go Chalk it all up to experience They said I'd fail but I disagreed Who could say then where my path would lead...

A dull sound accompanied Serperior's fall on the battlefield, sounding a verdict Trip pained to believe.

He had lost. He had finally reached the Vertress Conference, the whole point of his journey, and he had lost.

And as if it was not humiliating enough, he fell at the very first turn; a humbling experience.

Cheers echoed around him, so loud, overwhelming his senses... And in the center of this attention stood a victorious Ash, hugging his Pikachu with a glee none could rival.

A glee he envied.

The other trainer walked up to him to shake hands enthusiastically, complimenting him on a fight well fought. But, was it? Was this the grandiose battle he really had been awaiting? A repeat of their first match? Or perhaps Ash simply enjoyed it because it was Trip he was facing, an encounter which only rarely occurred on their respective journey - which was due to Trip's habit of deliberately avoiding the carefree Kantonese. He came to regret it as, for all its brevity, on that battlefield, he had felt alive like never before, their rivalry invigorating him with feelings he could only explain as exhilarating. If he had to lose to anyone, he was glad that at least, it had been to him, as underwhelming this ultimate face off turned out to be... He smiled bittersweetly and returned the grip firmly. A shame he was to discover an appreciation for fighting his rival so late in their respective journey.

Trip left the arena swiftly after his defeat, not wanting to linger any longer than necessary. He had no one to cheer for, nor did he desire to. Despite leaving Ash on amicable ground, losing never got any easier. He couldn't help being disappointed that he never got to fight him with his full team. It could have been a battle that he would have remembered fondly. One where losing would have felt somewhat acceptable. Or he could have even won, proving to everyone his strength and faced Alder in an epic match and...

His grip tightened around one of his folded shirts, shaking the slightest bit, emotions he dared not show, even to himself, threatening to spill at any moment.

What was he thinking… this had been pathetic. If that was the extent of his resolve, did he even deserve to call himself a pokemon trainer?

Trip took a deep shallow breath, using it to find the strength to shove the cloth back in his bag. He slung it across his chest and barely checked the pristine room he did not have the opportunity to sleep in even once. He barely registered going downstairs to return the key at the hotel's reception before leaving.

His thoughts were deafening on the train leading to Nimbasa. The small rocking of the cart failed to ground or soothe him. It all just felt like a mirage. In the end, had it been worth it? He had been so focused on his goal to prove himself to Alder and... Well, he supposed in a way he had succeeded in that aspect but where did that leave him? What was he to do now?

He looked up from the crimson rubber flooring. Other trainers who had suffered from the same fate were crowded there. He spotted more than one with the very same expression he was sporting, depicting a deep feeling of loss and disbelief. Others seemed to take it in stride, joking good naturedly that their opponent deserved to win either way. He wished he could be this optimistic, but that ship had sailed long ago. Sobs attracted his gaze to a group of youngsters, their parents attempting to console them, their soft reassurances lost in the hubbub trapped within the cabin.

He frowned and checked his Xtranceiver almost mechanically, sighing quietly seeing no messages were received for the duration of the competition. What was he expecting? A message of any kind? An acknowledgement of how far he'd gone? He should know better by now but it seemed he'd never learn. He let his eyes unfocus on the flowing background, letting the deep dreary alloy orange hue of the sun set on his weary thoughts.

It was too early that the voice of the announcer crackled to life, letting him know that they grew nearer to the Nimbasa City battle subway. Passengers clutched onto bars in anticipation for the stop. Trip gathered his meager belongings, verifying he had not left anything behind as the vehicle slowed to a crawl in a terrible shrieking sound. Once the train finally settled, he got up, following countless other nameless figures out of the car. Just as the last time he visited, the station was full of incessant chatter, announcements over loudspeakers, poorly chosen radio stations and the unbearable smell of aged spilled coffee. He wrinkled his nose at that last one, eyeing a cup with a melted label crushed on the brick flooring, without a doubt rendered like this after a stampede of impatient passengers. He supposed he could find solace in at least one person having a worse day than his.

Hands in his pockets, Trip marched towards the ticket dispenser, just as crowded as any other part of the rail station. The subway bosses must have been quite busy in this season, fighting rejects from the Pokemon League. He himself wouldn't have minded some training here, after all he never did take the time to partake in this activity and he heard Ingo and Emmet were as strong, if not stronger, than some gym leaders. Not that it was a very high bar to pass, if you asked him. He entertained the idea for a bit. Some easy fights could soothe his bruised ego. Trip looked over to the terminal, considering participating.

Two girls were hounding it, giggling while they were choosing which train to hop on. They were taking forever, manicured hands hovering over the "Confirm" button but never actively pressing it, too busy they were fawning over whichever topic he had not cared to grasp.

Alright, so no battle subway for today then.

He looked around for another terminal but it would seem to be the only one around. Grand.

"In case you have not noticed, there is a line." he said, loud enough for the bitterness to seep through his words.

The girls squeaked and turned around to glare at him. One of them promptly apologized, although it felt quite insincere, and quietly told her friend to quickly pick one. He thanked the local deities when they finally did and walked away, pointedly ignoring the other muttering colorful insults his way.

At long last, he stepped to the machine and input his destination. No trains were serving directly to Nuvema so he settled for Accumula. An additional bus drive would not kill him. He did feel disappointed when he noticed the next train would arrive in nearly three hours. Not necessarily surprising, considering the scarcity of the trains serving there, but disappointing all the same. He scanned his subway card and the ticket sprung out of the distributor in a flash. He took it and double checked the time and where it would arrive. He was reading it over when he noticed, something falling in his line of sight. Lying on the floor, exiting the machine, was a ticket around the same size as the one he was holding. Did he accidentally reserve two? Trip bent down, picked it up and flipped it, inspecting the thin cardboard. These girls must have left it behind by accident or something. It was a bright magenta ticket with printed black lettering. A ticket for a performance called "Legally Blonde". He knew they seemed airheaded but who in their right mind would just abandon a ticket for a play at the Music Hall? He heard in passing that they could be quite expensive.

Trip decided to do his one good deed of the day and headed towards the main desk. Perhaps they'd come back looking for it and he honestly did not want them to assume he stole it or encourage some other nonsensical conclusions. The lady tending it was apparently too busy pinning back her bun while wrestling with the chord of her earbuds to notice him standing right there. He bit back the want to make a snide remark about her diligence at work and instead cleared his throat. Her hand stopped fiddling with her hair, one earbud falling out of her ear (letting him hear her, frankly, outrageous music tastes. Could these screams really be called 'music'?!) as her eyes lazily traveled in his direction. She, at least, straightened up although, to his dismay, he suspected it had less to do with her professionalism and more with his shorter stature.

"Yes, hello, how may I help you?"

He extended the ticket towards her without any further ceremony. She awkwardly stared at it.

"I found this at the ticket dispenser. I assume it might have been left behind by the people before me." he explained as plainly as he possibly could.

She seemed puzzled for a second, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side, her hair already undoing itself with the faint movement. Finally, as he started to think she was going to ignore him in favor of grooming herself, she took the pink ticket and inspected it front and back, her eyebrows furrowing as she read the title.

"Where exactly did you get it, again?"

Just his luck that he had to run into a daft individual who could not be bothered to listen to basic inquiries. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, willing himself to be patient.

"As I have stated, I got it at the ticket dispenser." his voice sounded strained, failing to disguise his frustration.

The woman looked at it once again, seemingly concentrating the little reasoning functions she possessed on this one task, then, coming to a conclusion, she pushed back the ticket towards him. "Then it must be yours then!"

How did she even land this job? Didn't you need the barest of listening comprehension or even common sense for that matter to work in this field? Maybe he should recommend this place to Bianca, her short attention span seemed like a standard here. Trip pinched the bridge of his nose for a second. A sigh mixed with a condescending chuckle readily crawled its way out of his throat.

"No, surely not, unless the ticket dispenser in this very establishment has started to print expensive Music Hall tickets alongside train-"

"Yes, it is part of our culture advertising campaign, would you like to learn more about it?" she interrupted sweetly, although he could sense a tension in her voice, not unlike his own.

That was... Not what he had expected. He bit the inside of his cheek before inquiring any further.

"Culture advertising campaign?"

"Yes. Youths under the age of twenty-five are offered by multiple services, on occasion, tickets to visit different locations to broaden their cultural landscape. It can be a visit to a museum, to a historical site, to an art gallery or, in this case, to a theater. Which one is received depends on the location in which you have bought your ticket, so to make it more accessible. We usually provide tickets relying on the time of arrival of your train as a distraction." her words were said in a fake, rehearsed cheery voice, as if she had been forced to repeat this exact speech one time too many. She mechanically gave him a flier and slipped the magenta ticket in the fold. He gingerly accepted it without a word. A stock photo of smiling and laughing people surrounded by the blandest scenery he had ever seen was on the first page, a bright yellow logo he did not recognize at the top. He pocketed it but had every intention to throw it away at the nearest bin. Noticing she was still looking at him expectedly, he simply gave an awkward nod in her direction and left as promptly as possible.

The light briefly blinded him before revealing the overactive city of Nimbasa. It was always moving, running, never asleep. The city of entertainment had always been one he did not care much for. On his pokemon journey, his visit to the city had been brief to participate in the local tournament (that he lost just as fast, perhaps he should have noticed that pattern by now). The gym challenge did not leave him with much time for leisure so he pretty much overlooked Nimbasa altogether. He could only remember a vague time when he had gone to the local theme park with his parents. He had been a child then, enjoying the different rides... He gazed longingly a second too long at the ferris-wheel, visible from across the city.

Trip slipped his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and started walking, feeling the flier, now warm against his hand. Right, he had to get rid of that. His feet led him to a small natural park, a space tucked away from the screaming neons, finding an odd sense of relaxation enhanced by the scent of freshly budding poppies and the coolness provided by the water fountain. Few people were present, basking in the calm this haven provided, the trees' branches doing a decent job at hiding the overwhelming presence of the bustling city surrounding them. Wild Pidove gathered next to the coveted trash can, picking at abandoned pokemon food scattered about by careless individuals. Trip got out the folded sheet of paper and threw it unceremoniously in the bin. A frustrated sigh escaped him when he noticed this blasted ticket slither away once more, falling smoothly onto the dirt.

"... You've got to be kidding me..." he muttered while picking it up once more. Prepared to rectify the situation and dispose of it, he couldn't help but let his eyes notice the time on it. The play was to start in thirty minutes and would, apparently, end some time before his train was to arrive.

For the first time since he accidentally received this invitation of sorts, he considered it. Trip did not have much to do before his train arrived and he feared that if he was to be alone with his thoughts again for three additional hours, his anxiety might poison his mind with 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens'. It was actually this last point that made him decide to walk away from the park, startling the eating pokemons, ticket firmly in hand.

The moment he found himself right in front of the theater and its needlessly blinding neons, Trip knew he should have just stuck to the park. He furrowed his brows and his eyes traveled back to the offending piece of paper in his hand. "Legally Blonde" was to start in less than ten minutes.

It was now or never.

With a barely contained sigh, he entered through the automatic doors. Eccentric looking folks were inside, looking at posters that surprised him in their variety. He refused to look at them for too long, even though some of their composition was somewhat interesting to him.

Trip wanted this torture to be cut as short as possible, thank you very much.

He handed his ticket, now somewhat covered in dirt, to the finely dressed middle aged man in charge of checking these. The older gentleman readjusted his glasses somewhat, his face betraying some surprise; be it at the state of the piece of paper or its affiliated musical. Trip didn't know which one to assume but it was enough for a feeling of self-consciousness to rise within him. He surely looked very out of place here. He really should have checked on his Xtranceiver first what the synopsis was, it would have spared him some embarrassment. What if it was an outrageous performance? Arceus, what did he sign up for?!

Trip turned his face to the side, hiding his reddening face behind his bangs, as the man gave the ticket back to him along with a small booklet, absolutely clueless to the shame the young man was experiencing. He uttered a barely audible “thank you” and walked away, feeling his face heating up the more he saw teenage girls accumulate at the entrance alongside him. By the time he found a seat, he was wondering what he even was doing there in the first place, sandwiched between two different groups of youngsters who were obnoxiously loud. He even managed to spot, in his boredom, the two girls that had been hogging the ticket dispenser.

What a time to be alive.

Trip sat awkwardly on the, admittedly cozy, seat. A shame that the leg room really left to be desired. As short as he was, his entire height was stored in his legs, stripping him of the one perk of being under 5'3. He shifted a little, trying to find a comfortable spot on the chair, which earned him whines from the people around him, as insignificant his movements were. He ignored them, satisfied to have found the one position that would, hopefully, not leave him all cramped up for the duration of this play. He finally turned his attention to the small book he had received. That must have been the program. The cover was most likely a monochrome rendition of the promotional poster, representing a woman holding gigantic books with the title placated on it.

Trip was starting to wonder why every musical poster had to state in their name "the musical". Seemed quite redundant to him.

The one saving grace of this cover was the Lillipup next to the ecstatic woman. Maybe one of these Pokemon Musicals he had heard of. He opened it, hoping to distract himself from the overwhelming chatter surrounding him and to find out what this play had in store for him. The first few pages had nothing he found relevant, mostly the names of actors, producers and other stage hands he had never heard about. And by the first few pages, he meant the entirety of the booklet. It was full of small blurbs of information about the people behind the show, who they were, what they did... He kept hoping the next page would have a piece of information he would care about but, alas, the only relevant one he could find was the name of the numbers. Not exactly helpful but at least he could gather from the titles that the "Legally" in "Legally Blonde" was somehow related to the judicial system while the "Blonde" part could easily explain the more... Oddly named ones. He frowned at some of them when, finally, the light started to dim on the public. He disposed of the booklet, putting it in his pocket, while every single teenager around him childishly shushed each other loudly. The shushes suddenly got replaced by the loudest applause and cheers he had ever heard the moment the music started to soar up on stage. He supposed it was customary to do so at the start of a show and just clapped awkwardly. The light on stage was slowly turning on, finally uncovering a pink cartoonish building... So far, very on brand. He crossed his arms, sinking into the seat, bracing himself for the longest two hours of his life.

The first singers finally appeared at the windows. He watched the stage intently, eyes slightly narrowed. So far, from what he could gather, the supposed protagonist, Elle, was awaiting her fiancé's proposal and-

"Ohmigod, ohmigod you guys!"

Was it too late to get up and leave? Apparently so since the people sandwiching him only glared at him when he politely gestured for them to move. Trip crossed his arms once more, now pouting and furrowing his brows.

He begrudgingly kept watching - after all, what else was he to do - and his eyes actually opened wide at one of the early quick changes. Obviously, the character was played by two actors sliding down the bar, it was quite obvious since their build did not match, but he had to recognize that this could have easily fooled anyone else.

The brief respite he got was when the Lilipup on the poster actually ran up on stage. He had to recognize the pokemon had been very well trained and did not miss any cues. So far, this little guy was his favorite actor in the whole show.

The main character finally appeared, and went to get ready for the proposal and... honestly, he couldn't care less at this point. He watched, absolutely not taking in any of the information at his disposal. At least the Lilipup was still there. He hoped this little one would go far in his career.

At long last, the first number ended. He let out a sigh of relief. This had felt like it took an eternity to complete... The two main characters started making out and he couldn't help feeling slightly disgusted. The moment they sat at the dinner table - surrounded by a decor that was simple yet effective, he could admit as much - he just knew another long and uninteresting number was to start. He groaned when he was proven right, once more, and the most classic of love songs, sung with as many riffs as possible, filled the theater. His grip tightened around his jacket.

This was bordering on torture. Were people really watching this and enjoying it? It was just... So generic. Perhaps he just wasn't the target audience; he never really understood romance or its appeal. The only entertainment value really came from the girl and some small gestures she'd do in the back. This was getting incredibly boring still. No one would notice if he rested his eyes, right?

"That's why you and I!!"

He closed them and leaned back in his seat-

"Should break up!"

He reopened them violently, as shocked by that line as the protagonist was. This... Well he took back what he had just thought about "predictability", this came right out of left field! The man tried to explain it away, about how he could not be successful without someone "serious" and, while Trip could not totally disagree with that notion, the dejected look of the actress made him pause. The scene faded, his interest peaking back despite his better judgement.

This unpredictability did not go away. He kept trying to guess where the plot would go, or how a song would end without much success. Maybe he should have seen coming the foolish plan Elle made up about joining Harvard just to see her ex but he was entirely blindsided by the progression of the song, the way Harvard's aesthetic clashed with hers and the moment he witnessed her burst into the office, backed by a group of cheerleaders, he just didn't know what to think about this musical anymore. It was absolutely overwhelming how energetic every single scene ended up being. By the time she was accepted in, he decided he would stop thinking, lay back, relax and do his best to "enjoy" the show.

There were a lot of things he was left confused about. Like, why was this hairstylist so taken with the concept of Galar? What was up with this chorus showing up in the middle? Were these actors actually jumping rope while singing? Yet, despite all of these questions floating inside his head, he started... Appreciating the craftsmanship behind the show. It was very well put together and he was enjoying the dynamic between the characters; especially between Emmet and Elle. He also couldn't stop the smile on his face when a Snubbull came on stage during the middle of the first act! He had heard of pokemons acting in musicals before but he had not thought this one would include them; let alone two! Truth be told, he was getting slightly impressed with a lot of aspects of this show: most songs ended up being very enjoyable and the various props and techniques they used to achieve practical effects on stage worked wonders. Their transitions from one scene to another were so smooth with their decor that he felt completely immersed, forgetting for an instant the strangers' presence. Not that he was invested, mind you! Not at all! This was still a dumb show for teenage girls, he could just appreciate the work that had been put into it, that was all!

He was not getting invested.

"No he didn't just...!" Trip gasped audibly alongside his peers.

He was getting invested.

The trial scene had made a smile creep onto his face with how extra it was, although he supposed this entire show could be called that (especially considering the number that had taken place right before said trial; a number which had made him question how it would be relevant when it came back to slap him in the face, somehow becoming a plot point). The scene post trial however was full of tension he tried to ignore as his instinct couldn't possibly be right. Something was amiss but he was in blissful denial... The show had always proven itself to be full of surprise and perhaps, this one was the biggest in its obviousness. He had not even realized he had spoken his thoughts out loud, instead readjusting himself in his chair, a hand half covering his lips.

Then, for the first time in this entire outlandish experience, the music slowed to a crawl, shaping itself into a ballad. The one and only number in the show to be devoid of energy and positivity; just like the protagonist in that very instant, thrown out from the place where she felt like she belonged.

As he was listening, his throat felt like it was caving onto itself. Emotions he had been pushing down the entire day clawed their way up, destroying the careful walls he had built to keep them at bay, to not express them in a public space. He dug his fingers into the armchair, the smallest of sobs breaking through. Trip fought the urge to cover his mouth to muffle the pathetic sound that managed to get out. This feeling of not belonging anymore, having to leave some place you called home, a profession where you were talented in, the years you took honing your skills... He had never thought he would hear a song that would resonate with him on such a level. Just a couple hours prior, he had been Elle, having to leave and put on a brave front when really, the very act was killing him. At least, she had Emmet, someone who loved her, begged her to stay... Would things have turned out differently if he had had someone like that?

... No.

Maybe Ash had been his Emmet, his chance of staying, of looking back, but just like Elle, he had denied him, accepting that it had not been up to him. Just because he yearned to go back on the battlefield did not mean he could.

His fate had been sealed the very moment his Serperior had fallen.

Or maybe it had been when Ash had been declared his opponent, by the cruel hand of fate...

Or maybe it had been when they first met and he insulted him to his face.

He didn't know anymore nor did he wish to know. It was gone and it would not come back.

But the musical was far from over. It should not end on such a bitter note, he supposed. All of her previous rivals and friends came together, to tell her to come back as who she truly was to save the day... And she did! Despite the pain, she bounced right back and used her odd pieces of knowledge as a weapon to find out the true culprit! She became the major of her promotion, rejected the man she had been chasing, realizing her true love was someone who respected her and that she respected right back... Everyone got their satisfying happy ending... And was it true? Could everyone really get back up from such a humiliating loss and grasp at this hope? Was it possible that he too could find a drive, the strength to show the world who he really was and achieve his ambitions? Or was this only possible in an idealistic world, neatly written for people to disconnect from the mourn reality?

The music was at its peak when everyone started applauding, the lights on stage now gone. He did the same, clapping frantically at one of the best performances he had seen in years, when the light came back on the public, the actors running back on stage for their bow… and... it started occuring to him that he had just spent two hours, almost straight, watching a stupid musical along hundreds of strangers, letting himself get emotionally invested to the point of showing his pitiful feelings for everyone to see. He could feel his eyes still being a little puffy from earlier. He felt... Ashamed to have cried in front of others, even if they had not been looking. He refused to get out the small fabric handkerchief he had in his pocket, although it would have helped get rid of the last evidences of his emotional outburst. Instead, he got up, not caring that other spectators threw dirty looks at him.

Trip just needed to get out of there.

His legs almost hurt after such a long time confined in the small space between the seats but it did not stop him from striding across the theater to get some fresh air. He took a deep breath outside, the smell of gasoline flooding his senses, grappling him back to reality. The change of scenery almost felt uncanny after being immersed in the play for so long. Trip stayed there for some time, unmoving, recollecting himself. He checked his Xtranceiver, without thinking, realizing his train would leave in under an hour. He stashed his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and started his mindless walk back towards the Nimbasa Battle Subway.

If his eyes were still slightly red, he could blame it on the never ending fumes of the exhaust pipes.

#chip on my shoulder #trip #fanfiction #OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY OUT #pokemon fanfiction #ao3 #BRUH I ALMOST POSTED IT ON MY DND SIDE BLOG HAHAHA #Thanks to people who supported me by saying this was a good idea for a fanfic #I was gonna keep this fanfic idea as a joke but y'all made me want to actually make it a story #owl writes #is now a new tag I'll use in the future I guess

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