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#thanks to my girlfriend for the joke
lovedtogekiss · 1 year
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call me the saul or call me my name
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reborrowing · 6 months
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🌈 for the drawing ask? for whoever you want
🌈 - character celebrating their identity
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🧡🤍🩷
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evangelust · 9 months
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I’m a guy who enjoys a good sampling. Wine sampling, cheese sampling, perfume sampling, et cetera. Love to attribute seemingly arbitrary adjectives to an experience. Take a tasteful whiff of girlmusk and identify the malolactic notes of sweetness and clay. It’s heady. It's ambrosial. It's intoxicating. Everyone should be out here taking tasteful whiffs of gock and checking for notes.
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mybreadsmybutters · 2 months
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immallexx being outed as an abuser is not a surprise to me bc i VIVIDLY remember when i was such a huge fan of his at 14 and watching VERY old videos bc id watched all his newer ones three times and found this one random one from 2015 with maybe 500 views and clearly recorded in his parents house with a camcorder where he called a transfem influencer a “tranny he/she” and obviously that video is BURIED and im sure exists nowhere online nowadays bc he wasn’t nearly as popular when i found it as he eventually came to be but like. i just remember being a kid SO excited about finding a commentary youtuber who actually seemed to like queer people like me AND was queer himself and then finding That video and just. feeling it in the pit of my stomach. bc it was all just! a grift! a tactic!
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frothingatthemaw · 5 months
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If you’re comfortable answering bc ik you’re aro, if you had the chance to go back in time and had the opportunity which Jackass boy would you romance? Who do you think would make the best partner for you in the long run? Feel free to ignore and I’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable!
not uncomfortable! i'm a romance positive aro, i just have fluctuating feelings with affection and desire/feelings of romance! hope that makes sense... thank you for being so kind about it though, you're so sweet <3
i fee like this question is a little obvious, no? well... unless you are new to my blog? /lh
it's 100% knoxville. god, something about him is just so comforting to me and i just know he'd be such an incredible boyfriend. and i knowww he would make me weak in the knees all the time (i mean, he already does so). it might be the fanfic person in me, but he seems like the perfect guy. something about him dude... just does it entirely too much for me
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metastablephysicist · 2 years
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cishet? ummm actually it's pronounced /ˌsɪˈʃeɪ/
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1004tyun-archive · 1 year
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mommy 🥺
i didn’t expect you to wake up so early at first but i had missed you so much so it was hard to think of an ask to send just her because my full focus was on you being here already mommy 🥺😭🩷
you’re probably sleeping rn and i hope you’re sleeping well~ i love you so much my sweet girlfriend ;///; 🩷🩷 you’re the best, i feel so good with you 🥹🥹🩷
today was so weird at first 😭 when i went to the train, a straight couple was in front of me and they were kinda like making out and stuff? in front of my salad? >< i was very embarrassed 😭 like… the guy even slapped the girl’s thigh… read this in professor oak’s voice there’s a time and place for everything but not now! 😭😭 fhsbfbdb
instead of thinking about that couple, i wanna say i’d love to get to hold hands with my girl 🥺🥺🩷 i often think of us kissing on the bench 🥹😚🩷 my mommy is the prettiest ever~
tonight we will be stretching together for the first time hehe 👉👈🩷 i’m excited to know what you thought of it and i’ll tell you if i feel better ���🩷
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no moodboard because i saw this and i’m scared and i had to share with you mommy wtf 😳😖 is this gigachad taehyun????? omg 😭😭😭
i got some oreos with double cream for my lunch dessert to think about you 🥺🥺🩷 i definitely get why my mommy loves cookies and cream~ it’s so good~ 🥹🩷🩷
my sweet queen, my fairy of crystals 🥺💎🩷🩵 i hope you get to sleep well, and feel happy always 🥺🥺🩷 i wanna make my dear mommy happy 🥺🥺🩷 i love you so much 😚😚🩷🩷
reading through this entire ask had me like
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WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN I SAW TAEHYUN WITH A BEARD AND SUDDENLY MY MEMORY WAS WIPED
okay allow me to gather my thoughts and shift back into mommy mode…
hello baby~ 🥺🥺🩵 my girl is so sweet and precious i didn’t expect to be up so early either but my cherry senses just have been tingling 👀🩵 i love you so much my lovely amazing girlfriend 🥺🥺 you’re the best~ i always feel so good with you too
… 😟 what the hell what is up with that couple??? in broad daylight? at the start of the day??? RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR SALAD????? the professor oak voice sjhshshs 😭😭😭
so excited to stretch together baby~ 🥺 i’m excited to hear your thoughts too and i hope this is something that works out well enough for us to do more often :3
cherry i gotta ask . what is thisjshshshs i understand that you were looking for pics on pinterest to make a moodboard but how did this out of all the images show up??? 😭😭😭 this scared the shit out of me when i first saw it and it scares me now honestly
is this taehyun’s final form? 🤔 his true gigachad evolution?? 🤔🤔
thank you for thinking of me baby that sounds so good~ 🥺🥺 cookies and cream is so yummy isn’t it? so glad i’ve brought you over to the dark side >:3 honestly i was a little disappointed by my ben and jerry’s yesterday so i might get my fave local brand of ice cream today instead since they make the best cookies and cream ice cream i’ve ever had 🤭🩵🩵
you always make me happy baby even with that taehyun jumpscare 🥺🥺🥺 my sweet girl~ i love you so much 🥺🩵🩵
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x-ladydisdain-x · 2 years
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this song killed people
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ratatatastic · 1 month
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me thinking itd be fine to put on an ekky interview in the bg as i deal with hot things that could burn me because im frying yes wonderful me good job me this is fantastic
#txt#on another episode of straight men confuse me what the fuck are yall doing#everyday i have to deal with whatever the fuck yall are doin#shoutout to that time i went climbing with a friend and their gym friend joined us and the vibes got /weird/ so quick and i was like well#hes straight i just met him so like maybe??? maybe this is just how they all are... making sex jokes while theyre spotting me and winking#and trying to piss me off yeah because im quiet and guys love picking on me basically my whole life...#yeah this is normal im being the weird one here#and then immediately like a couple days later my friend who was there to witness it and knows him a lot better was like#no lmao he was absolutely testing the waters he was flirting with you lol#AND I WAS LIKE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND???? HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT HER IN THE MIDST OF THAT????#and almost lost my shit while we were watching a ballet#and my friend doesnt say shit like this out of nowhere#so i am not an expert in straight boys and i would like to be very far away from them thank you#they confuse me greatly what the fuck#i completely blocked out the fact that while i was taking a break he went up to my friend and was like hey is it okay if i like slap their#ass like in a bro way i know theyre gay but like is that okay theyre not gonna take it in a bad way right?#and my friend like the shit stirrer they are went idk ask /them/ about it dont ask me lmao.#he never did bring it up to me in the session but my friend absolutely ratted him out later when it was over and i was like#IS THAT WHY HE KEPT MAKING S&M JOKES TO MY FACE IS THAT FUCKING WHY HE TRIED TO DAP ME UP AND GAVE ME SO MUCH SHIT FOR IT WHEN I LOOKED AT#HIM IN CONFUSION WAS HE DOING EVERYTHING TO TREAT ME LIKE A BRO WITHOUT SLAPPING MY ASS LIKE A SHOWHORSE IS THAT-#and now that ive remembered that i do want to conk my head against the nearest spiky thing yeah
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cadaverousdecay · 5 months
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☠ goulie-girl Follow
my vampire gf cant visit my crypt cuz they fucking buried me in a church cemetery fuck my entire unlife i wish i killed myself when i was alive
👻 creeps-and-crypts Follow
Hey. No. I killed myself when I was alive and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. You do not get to joke about that shit just because youre dead. Suicide jokes are never funny.
☠ goulie-girl Follow
its not a joke im serious. if i had just offed myself when i had the chance my grave wouldnt be holy ground and my girlfriend wouldnt literally burn when she enters my crypt.
🧛‍♂️ spike-through-the-heart Follow
oh if its holy ground thats the issue you just gotta figure out a way to desecrate it
☠ goulie-girl Follow
okay like how
🦇 unsound-familiar Follow
ill kill myself over ur grave if u want
☠ goulie-girl Follow
thanks but im not looking for a roomie
🧹 doubledoubletoilettrouble Follow
desecration potion
🧪 hexes-and-exes Follow
potion of desecration
🐸 wartsandall Follow
loOking for a poTion that deSecraTes? haVe I got the PotiOn for You 💋😋😜
☠ goulie-girl Follow
great the hexbots found my post
🧛‍♀️ i-bid-u-velcome Follow
babe just come over to my castle
☠ goulie-girl Follow
ur hellhound scares me
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trans-androgyne · 1 month
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I’d just like to ask folks to have a little more sensitivity about the “Tampon Tim” stuff—the way Donald Trump and U.S. conservatives are making fun of the democratic vice presidential candidate for putting free tampons in boys’ bathrooms. My girlfriend broke the news to me as though I was supposed to laugh, and it wasn’t until she saw the look on my face that she realized how personal this was to me as someone who’s advocated for menstrual products in men’s restrooms at my school and lobbied for access in prisons in my state. This is about trans guys and I want people to remember that.
I remember seeing a Kaitlin Bennet video where she went around smugly asking people if they thought tampons should be in men’s restrooms, with the obvious intended answer being of course not. We’re a joke to them; being connected to menstruation and menstrual products is already considered embarrassing for women, but for men, it’s downright humiliating and disgusting. As people who need tampons, who can get pregnant, who have breasts, but claim to be men, we are considered a perversion of the sex-gender binary. We cannot exist, and they make that clear. When you leave trans men and mascs out of these conversations, such as by pivoting to jokes about fictional cis men, you are contributing to our erasure. Please just remember who is actually harmed by these sentiments, and listen to our perspectives on it. Thank you.
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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My current lob corp experience used to skipping 90% of the dialogue and only play for the gameplay but I have grown and learned, now I skip 100% of the dialogue and play for my employees and my employees only <3
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effysayres · 9 months
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i need older women in ways that are concerning to feminism.
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terrainofheartfelt · 9 months
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1, 7, 27!
1. What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?
Schmigadoon—people keep telling me it’s right up my alley and I believe them! i just haven’t gotten to it yet. What We Do in the Shadows—same thing. Fellow Travelers—I started and thought it was fantastic but have not kept up (on my piracy)
7. What color dominates your closet?
Apart from black (lol) probably olive green. It’s been en vogue the past few years and I look fantastic in it.
27. Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!
I keep my keys on one of those keycard wallets, so my house keys and transit card and ID and money are all together (so I don’t lose anything) and that’s kinda my keychain situation. I have my library card on the ring too. And a fob to get in to the church I work at on Wednesday nights.
My Sister in Common Law gave me a Fuck the Patriarchy keychain as a joke a couple Christmases ago, and it lives on my luggage
ask game! ✨✨✨
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jettlawrence · 1 year
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i've come so far from taking literally 2 seconds of seeing him on the left and immediately thinking he was a douche in january to him being my boy all season lmaooo and winning 3 championships this year <333
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httpsserene · 3 months
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𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐚 - 𝐥𝐧. 𝟒 (& 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏)
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summary: you and lando are blessed with a beautiful baby boy. content warning: fluff, humor, slightly suggestive at times, and mainly crack/shitpost energy. reader owns & works in her bakery in monaco. images used are not mine. pairing: lando norris x fem!black!reader (& platonic oscar pastry) genre: smau & written fic combination (it's a longgg one)
author's notes: y'all i'm warning you i took it too far this time. it's long aslllll. but it might be the best thing i've ever offered to f1 tumblr in my entire career.
grab a snack, drink, and tuck yourself into a comfortable position xxx
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join the taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻
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imessage • preseason 2023
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That’s how you find yourself outside of the MTC in the mid-morning two days later. You’re mildly…exhausted, after commandeering the kitchen in Lando’s Silverstone flat to make a sickening amount of banana bread to feed all of McLaren. After tipping your Uber to the MTC double what the ride costs (for allowing you to stuff his car with a hundred pounds of your decadent treat and helping you unload them into the lobby), you’re greeted with warm welcomes and hungry eyes from the staff. Eager to eat, they’re quick to find you a couple of carts to help you move all the banana bread to the communal area. You’re walking backward to make sure none of your sliced loaves fall, smiling with all the workers as they follow you through the building. Setting up shop, you hand out your sliced banana bread, chatting and catching up with everyone as they sing praises over your sweet treat. Word travels around the MTC quickly when it comes to you bringing baked goods and it comes as no surprise to you when you see a perplexed and overwhelmed Oscar Piastri join the line. You’re bursting with excitement and anticipation by the time he’s picking up his slice.
“Thank you for the banana bread,” Oscar expresses softly, his smile boxy.
“Oh, of course,” you dismiss his gratitude lightly, struggling to keep your cuteness aggression at bay, “I’ve been doing this for the factory since Lando joined–and I figured it would be a good welcoming gift for you!”
“Wait–are you Lando’s girlfriend?” Oscar chokes on his bite of bread.
You rush forward to pat his back, ordering for someone to get him a glass of water; you would hate to be responsible for the death of Mclaren’s rookie driver. When his airways are cleared, you exchange proper greetings and you are quick to make sure Lando has been treating him well. 
“Honestly, I should’ve known it was you” Oscar chuckles, “Lando cannot stop talking about you. Zak had to establish a rule that only allowed him to mention you two times an hour.”
“That must have been rough for him,” you snort dryly, “the rule was five times an hour last year. Anyways, Oscar–who do you main on Mario Kart? This could make or break our friendship.”
You find yourself enamored with Oscar as the conversation goes on. He stands and keeps you company as you continue to hand out banana bread. It’s mostly you doing the talking; Oscar’s quiet, a man of few words but he listens well. He has a sarcastic sense of humor that is similar to Lando’s yet completely different: Lando’s jokes are loud, Oscar’s are hushed. He’s humble, shy even, flustering when you lightly tease him. You’re well past having Oscar as your friend—you’re convinced that he’s achieved little brother or son status.
“Banana Bread!” Zak shouts as he walks up to the two of you, Lando at his side, “Please tell me this is your homemade version?”
“I would never settle for store-bought banana bread,” you gasp dramatically, “It’s homemade as always, Zak. This time I did my grandmother’s recipe instead of my own.”
The CEO practically jumps with glee and rushes to grab a couple of slices–he’s only had this version of the dessert once, and swore it changed his life. Lando walks to you, pressing a kiss to your temple before nodding at Oscar.
“What do you think, love, “Lando hums to you softly, “Did he pass the test?”
You blink up at him and whisper, “I invited him over for dinner tonight—do you think we can use one of the printers here to print out adoption forms?”
bahrain • 2023
After qualifying, it felt like you and Zak were the only people in the garage who remained optimistic for race day. Lando was less than pleased with placing 11th; he parroted words of positivity and hope for improvement but in the privacy of your hotel room he crumbled. He buried his face in your neck muffling just how low his expectations for this season are. You tried to convince him it was too early in the season—the first race weekend—to make that decision but, he was too in his feelings to see reason. 
Oscar was disappointed in himself for placing 18th. When he took off his helmet after returning to the garage, you could see the doubt in his skills lingering through his eyes. You pulled him to sit with you as you continued to wait for the second session to begin and gently reassured him that this wasn’t an accurate representation of his skills; Formula One is a massive change from Formula Two. Oscar nodded at your reassurance but you could tell he was still freshly in shock at his “terrible” performance so your logical advice wasn’t believed. 
On race day, however, you found your positivity dip as well. Oscar DNF’d on lap 13 and rage filled the spot that optimism used to inhabit. The Australian was handling his retirement better than you were; he brushed off everybody’s apologies and went straight to reviewing his data and watching Lando’s race—you, however, wanted to snap at any of his mechanics that walked by. It wasn’t like Lando’s race was any better if you could call what he was doing a race. Slow pit stops, six pit stops at that, the fast lap gamble failure, finishing last, and being two laps down from the race leader…Zak took one glance at you and quickly made himself scarce.
You rode back with both of the boys to the hotel and nearly cried for them with how down the mood was. On the walk to your rooms, Oscar attempted to exchange goodbyes with you and Lando before you cut him off.
“Uh-uh, nope,” you shook your head, “I pre-ordered dinner for us. Come eat?”
Oscar stuttered, “O-oh? I don’t want to intrude–”
“Oscar Jack Piastri,” both he and Lando winced at the sound of his full name, “I’m not going to let either one of you go to bed on an empty stomach. You’re going to eat dinner with me and Lan and you’re going to drink several glasses of water so I can make sure you’re properly rehydrated. Understood?”
“I would love to have dinner with you guys,” Oscar blinked at you in fear, “Also, how do you know my middle name?”
You laughed as you unlocked the door, holding it open for both of the boys as you walked in, “I had a wonderful conversation with your mother, of course.”
“When did you meet my mom?!”
australia • 2023
You were on the edge of losing your voice as you screamed and cheered with Nicole Piastri and Adam Norris for both of the McLaren boys and their double points finishes. The two drivers finishing in the midfield felt like the team had figured something out for Oscar’s home race (if you ignored how almost half of the drivers retired their cars). The Piastri’s invited everyone to a local restaurant to celebrate Oscar’s first points in Formula One, but before you and Lando headed out, the two of you nearly lost your minds.
The two of you forced him to pose with his car and take several pictures with it, strongly suggesting that he smiles big and wide for the camera. Fernando and Lewis walked by and burst into laughter, claiming that you and Lando were treating Oscar like a child. So, obviously, the two of you committed to the bit. You guys cooed and called Oscar’s name, clapping and jumping to pretend like he was a toddler whose attention needed to be grabbed to have him look at the camera. The rookie cringed in embarrassment, cheeks burning red as he tried to convince you guys to stop making a fuss over him.
Lando gasped, sickened at Oscar’s words, “Oscar! How could you say such a thing to your mother and me? We only want to celebrate our boy!”
You nodded furiously in agreement, nearly breaking character at the dumbfounded look that rose to the Australian’s face.
“What the fuck,” Oscar blurted out, yet he continued to smile for your camera.
“Oh my god!” You said appalled, “Lando did you teach our son that foul language?! I told you not to curse in front of the baby!”
instagram • bakewithyn • april 6th • melbourne ⚑
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liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, mclaren, markwebber, and 413,257 others
bakewithyn: happy birthday oscar 🥳 there’s no birthday gift like scoring your FIRST EVER POINTS in f1 at your HOME race but !!! i’m super happyyy you enjoyed the 🐨 cookies i made for you (lando helped ig 😐) 🤗🤗🤗
tagged oscarpiastri
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📌 yninstagram ps! these are limited edition cookies at my bakery for oscar piastri day!!! first come first serve until sell out! all proceeds go to the australian koala foundation as it was oscar’s personal request 😇
➥ user charitable king shit fr 👑
➥ user FUCK i wish i was rich enough to visit/live in monaco
➥ user don't worry, they're nearly sold out already and the bakery opened three hours ago !!!!
nicolepiastri these were so tasty! i wish i had your baking skills
➥ yninstagram tysm mama piastri !!! i'm blushing
➥ user mama piastri???? im crying
user the koala photo with the bow 😩
➥user what r u talking about?? i only see a picture of oscar with a bow?
➥ user fr i only see oscar 😵‍💫
user "lando helped ig" what did he do? look pretty the entire time you baked LMAO
➥ landonorris actually i was allowed to put the ingredients in the bowls AND preheat the oven too 😤
➥ landonorris and i always look pretty wtf
➥ user omg...yn gave him the toddler tasks 💀💀💀
oscarpiastri the cookies were so good! they nearly tasted better than my first points felt
➥ yninstagram omg high praise from the man himself 🤯
➥ oscarpiastri had to fight my sisters to make sure they didn't only leave me with crumbs
➥ user oh i understand that eldest sibling battle
➥ user my little sisters bite i think they have rabies
➥ user oh what a shame. euthanasia is an option 🤗
miami • 2023
The energy after Miami was rightfully terrible. The car is shit; Lando lost a position from where he qualified to make him P17 and Oscar maintained his P19. It’s hot, and humid, and everyone in the garage is miserable. McLaren is a family. When the boys don’t do good, everybody understands and feels their pain. Nobody likes seeing the boys with frowns on their lips and sadness in their eyes, but it’s becoming a usual appearance during this season. So to turn those frowns upside down, you went on a hunt for some cold treats. You got Lando a frozen lemonade and Oscar an ice cream sandwich—it’s a safe choice, you hadn’t necessarily thought about asking him what kind of ice cream he prefers. 
You found Oscar staring at the wall, eyes focused forward but his mind somewhere else. You tapped him gently on the shoulder, offering him a small smile when he looked at you. He tried to offer you a smile of his own but couldn’t manage to hold it for more than a couple seconds. You presented the ice cream sandwich to him and he looked at you in surprise, as if he couldn’t believe you would give it to him.
“F-for,” his voice cracks awkwardly, “For me?”
You hummed, ruffling his hair and taking a seat on the couch next to him, “No, for the King of England. Yes–for you Oscar.”
He thanked you shyly and quickly began to unwrap the packaging, munching away happily. You took a second to text Lando your location and inform him of the frozen lemonade waiting for him, and when you turned to look back at Oscar—the kid was a mess. He wasn’t even a quarter of the way through the dessert sandwich and you’re convinced he managed to spill more of it than he ingested. The ice cream was painted across the lower half of his face and dripping down his hands–you caught a drop of it with a napkin before it fell and stained his shirt.
“Jesus, Oscar!” you scolded him, “I look away for two seconds and you make a mess!”
Oscar shrugged at you, feigning innocence, but you saw the staple redness of embarrassment begin to tint his chubby cheeks. You snapped your fingers in remembrance before you moved to rifle through your purse, Oscar staring at you with wide eyes as he continued to snack away. You exclaimed in delight, showing off a pair of wet wipes you remembered to bring with you. Oscar accepted the offered wipes and you watched carefully to make sure he removed all the smudges of ice cream from his hands and face.
“Hi, lovely girl,” Lando approached you, throwing himself onto the sofa next to you. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and temple before grabbing his now lemonade slushy and taking a look at Oscar.
“Woah, mate,” Lando teased, “Did you lose in a fight against the ice cream sandwich?”
Oscar rolled his eyes and ignored Lando as he finished cleaning up. Once he was done, you gathered all of the dirty wipes on the table to be thrown away. You and Lando both watched Oscar as he ate the rest of his snack in fear of another mess occurring—and, then you had a bright idea. Leaning forward, you took a dry napkin and tucked it into the collar of his McLaren polo, creating a makeshift bib. 
“Lando, remind me to get our son ice cream in a cup from now on!”
twitter • may 14th
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instagram • landonorris • may 23rd • monte carlo ⚑
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liked by, bakewithyn, charlesleclerc, fernandoalonso, and 502,113 others
landonorris: does it still count as a date night if your boy and his best friend are building legos in the next room🤨
tagged bakewithyn, oscarpiastri, logansargeant
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user "your boy" WTF DOES THAT MEAN ‼️‼️‼️
user they're building legos before the race weekend starts 🤧
user has oscar been staying with lando since last week?
➥ user i thought he was just sleeping over for one night 🧐
adamnorris does this make me a grandfather?
➥ user what the hell is happening
➥ landonorris um? surprise haha 😀
bakewithyn it's a great date night! it's comforting knowing ozzy's in the next room over
➥ bakewithyn i have separation anxiety :)
➥ landonorris me too omg this was my best idea ever
➥ user this is like a reverse 13th reason- it's like my 1st reason i'm glad to be alive
➥ user ozzy 🫠
landonorris logan and osc just went silent. chat, should i be worried?
➥ user i'll bet my life savings that one of them has a lego shoved up their nose 😬
➥ user when kids go quiet it's never good !!!!
qatar • 2023
You cried an embarrassing amount of times this weekend. Your son won his first sprint race in his Formula One career, and his father—your boyfriend—was up there on the podium with him to celebrate. It seems like you have to make another special dessert for your bakery to celebrate both of your boys, but you can worry about brainstorming ideas when you stop crying into Andrea Stella’s shoulder in the middle of the pit lane. You’re sure that your face will be posted all over Twitter in a couple of hours.
A part of you wished that Lando had won the sprint race, just as he probably wanted the same thing. But, as both of you made eye contact with each other over Oscar’s head, the Australian rambling endlessly as he hugged his trophy on your hotel room floor, both of you knew that there was no better outcome this weekend than Oscar getting a taste of victory. Lando’s win will come in due time. A P2, P3 finish on Sunday was just the proof everyone needed of McLaren’s improvement and the threat they may pose to Red Bull next year. 
são paulo • 2023
You had the Grand Prix playing on your phone as you did some prep work for the bakery. The race ended and you couldn’t help but feel happy, yet relieved for the race to be over for different reasons. Lando had a wonderful drive today, and Oscar had the opposite; you were just glad it wasn’t a DNF for him.
You had only just begun wiping down the counters when the sound of the post-race show is interrupted by the ringtone you have set for Oscar. You paused quickly, scooping your phone up to answer.
“Hi, Ozzy,” you cooed gently, “How are you feeling? Sorry about your race buddy, that was unfortunate.”
“It happens, I guess. I feel like shit, mostly. Like I let the team down.”
“No way, Oscar! You’re not letting anybody down. Your race result today wasn’t the result of your skills, it was the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a racing incident. If anybody tells you differently, let me know. I’ll rip their vocal cords out.”
Oscar’s laugh crackled through the receiver. “Yes, mum. I’ll let you know. I really want some of your chocolate chip cookies, they’re the perfect bad race remedy.”
“Well, I’m flying out in a few hours to meet you guys in Brazil so I can celebrate Lando’s—sorry, excuse me—your father’s birthday with him. I think there may be some time for me in my schedule to make some cookies with you.”
“Really? We should make some for Lando too! Wait, before you leave, I left his birthday gift—”
“—In our apartment, I remember! I already packed it in my luggage, I wouldn’t forget.”
“You’re the best, seriously.”
“Mhm, I know. Also, we should share some of these cookies with Charles too, his radio message made me cry.”
“Okay, he can have one cookie.”
“Oscar Jack,” you said dryly.
“Yes, sharing is caring or whatever. He can have like...two.”
instagram • bakewithyn • november 13th • las vegas ⚑
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liked by, mclaren, landonorris, f1, oscarpiastri and 353,764 others
bakewithyn: happy birthday to lando norris. he's a pretty cool guy, a great dad, and the perfect boyfriend. love you lots, baby, and i'll love you forever xxx
tagged landonorris
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user wait is this a pregnancy announcement 😨
user this is giving engagement reveal
charlesleclerc bro. if i didn't know you guys i would think your caption was serious 😣
➥ bakewithyn get pranked LOL XD
➥ user oh i feel like i just got catfished
➥ user wait so lando didn't propose nor did he put a baby in her 😒
➥ user I WANTED A BABY NORRIS
➥ user oscar exists? he's literally their child
oscarpiastri no fr i thought i was about to learn i had a sibling otw from this post
➥ bakewithyn ozzy we would've told you???
➥ landonorris you literally bought the card for me
➥ oscarpiastri a boy can hope for a younger sibling can he not :(
➥ bakewithyn so close 😚 no you can't! hope that helps xo
➥ landonorris sorry osc, it's your mum's decision 🤷‍♂️
➥ user does this mean lando wants an actual kid
mclaren admin was terrified ngl 😅
➥ mclaren i thought you really posted an engagement and pregnancy reveal without letting me know 😭
➥ landonorris sorry admin, i'll keep you in the loop in the future
➥ user landoyn engagement soon??????
twitter • november 18th • las vegas ⚑
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twitter • preseason 2024
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miami • 2024
Lando had you pinned to the wall in his driver's room, with his hands tangled in your curls and his mouth devouring yours. Your moans are muffled into his lips as you grind against his thigh. You tried to multitask, struggling to pull his driver’s suit down. Lando lifted you slightly, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist and neither of you cared to pull away at the sound of your foot hitting his P1 trophy and knocking it over. One of his hands fell from your hair to grasp at the smooth brown skin of your neck, his palm acting as a warm weighted choker on your throat and you broke away from the kiss to moan. 
“Fuck, Lando—get naked,” you whined desperately, “we don’t have much time for you to tease me right now!”
Lando laughed as he moved to press kisses along your jawline and behind your ear. You felt his lips part on your skin, his breath ghosting over you causing goosebumps to rise, but it’s not his voice you hear.
“Lando, they need us for pictures—OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK,” yelped Oscar, the sound of his hand smacking over his eyes reverberating around the room.
You shrieked in surprise, pushing your boyfriend away from you as you speedily readjusted your clothes. Lando positioned himself in front of you, his back facing you allowing you a little more privacy as he speedily fixed his suit around his waist.
“Learn how to knock, kid,” Lando huffed, no shame found in his words, “You interrupted my winning celebration.”
You screamed in dismay, slapping the back of Lando’s head and Oscar began to stumble out of the room, bumping into the doorframe as he still covered his eyes.
“Yeah, knock in the future, I understand,” Oscar sounds like he’s about to cry, “I feel like I just saw my mum and dad having sex!”
instagram • bakewithyn • may 12th • mama's house ⚑
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liked by oscarpiastri, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, and 551,012 others
bakewithyn: LOOK AT MY SON 🥺🥺 PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR 🗣️🗣️🔊🔊 (happy mother's day to all the beautiful mamas x)
tagged oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri did dad get you anything 🙃
➥ user 👀👀👀
➥ landonorris well i would've if SOMEBODY told me we were celebrating this year 🤬🤬🤬🤬
➥ oscarpiastri i didn't know i *had* to tell you
➥ user wowwwww lando
➥ user shameful honestly 😕
markwebber happy milf day
➥ markwebber *mother's day sorry typo
➥ bakewithyn what the fuck ☠️☠️☠️
➥ user that was not a typo mark
➥ user sir u are not slick LMAO
➥ bakewithyn i mean...oscar wouldn't mind a step dad, his fatther didn't get me anything today :(
➥ landonorris AYO BABY PLEASE 🧎‍♂️
oscarpiastri you know what would be an even better mother's day gift? getting a puppy 🤭
➥ bakewithyn we are not getting a puppy ozzy.
➥ landonorris should've clued me in osc i might've convinced her for you
➥ oscarpiastri :[
monaco • 2024
You’re about to crash THE FUCK out. At first, it was a little half-joke. Oscar’s home race in Australia, his 1/16th home race in China, and his 3/16th home race in Italy. You originally thought his tweet about “searching for his Monegasque roots” was cute, but you didn’t expect Charles Marc Herve Perceval (Demon Spawn) Leclerc to step into your playing field.
Who the hell does he think he is? Offering to adopt your son? And, Oscar is going along with it? And, the Miami Grand Prix account making a “Certificate of Adoption?” You started to like Miami after Lando won there; and now they’ve betrayed you. Every fan jumped on the bandwagon, thinking that this was the most adorable thing to happen. Like Oscar hasn’t been your child the minute he stepped foot into the MTC in Silverstone. Like he didn’t give you a Mother’s Day present? The Monegasques have some nerve; you were close with Charles and Alex but, now they’ve encroached on your and Lando’s territory. You’re committing several murders today. 
You laughed hysterically when Oscar joined Lando and you for lunch, mentioning that Charles and Alex invited him to eat with the rest of the Leclercs at family dinner after qualifying. You agreed to let him but not without making sure Charles and Alex are qualified for the job. Lando also cornered you in the kitchen and persuaded you to allow Oscar to go; swaying you with the idea of a real date night. You never realized just how much time you guys spend with your son. When’s the last time you guys had a break from being “mum and dad?" It was an appealing offer, but you were serious about clarifying expectations to the thieving couple.
twitter • may 25th • monaco
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instagram • bakewithyn • may 25th • date night ⚑
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liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, nicolepiastri and 236,978 others
bakewithyn: a little night off from parenting was needed x
tagged landonorris
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user okay mamiiiii
user all parents deserve to relax !!!
oscarpiastri do you even miss me ☹️
➥ user damn he goin through it
➥ charlesleclerc i literally just got him to smile and now he's crying again 😒
➥ landonorris your mum and i love you lots osc
➥ oscarpiastri :]
alexandrasaintmleux take full advantage of having no children in the house 😈😈😈
➥ charlesleclerc leo will keep him distracted for as longggg as possible 😏
➥ user lando only needs about three minutes 🥱
➥ user wow that's a really long time fr
oscarpiastri mama y papa
➥ user mama y papa
➥ user mama y papa
➥ user mama y papa
instagram • landonorris • june 16th • daddy's home ⚑
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liked by oscarpiastri, angryginge, bakewithyn and 436,812 others
landonorris: father's day done right. my child and his mother made a cake for me, family photo slide two, and my son slide three. what more can a man want.
tagged bakewithyn and oscarpiastri
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user this man never misses a chance to call himself daddy
user too fucking funny 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️
bakewithyn happy father's day, daddy xxx
➥ user OHMYGOD 😖🤢🤮
➥ user on my internet⁉️⁉️⁉️
➥ landonorris even happier now x
user this new wave of parents concerns me...
oscarpiastri the cake was good wasn't it???
➥ landonorris it was perfect, seriously
➥ oscarpiastri i know you both said there's no way we'd get a puppy but hear me out i've thought of something better
➥ oscarpiastri working on giving me a younger sibling :]
➥ user YES BABY NORRIS ‼️‼️‼️
➥ landonorris @/bakewithyn ?
➥ bakewithyn ask me again in a couple of years
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