... I want to be mishevious and ask you A-Z, but ill just ask:
C, L, E, X, and A lol
C: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
I know what you did here, but you forgot to add the fic. Ha. \o/
L: Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?
Anything harrianthe is always tricky. Because they are so dysfunctional, but also good for each other?
E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?
Lexa in "Yours" is me before therapy.
X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading? Are you a voracious reader? Do you carefully pick and choose? Something in between?
Not voracious for fics, though, I read more published books lately. I'm picky after years and years of tolerating bad quality fics. Searching based on kudos makes me nauseous. When I find a decent writer, I read everything they have to offer and I hope they have a good selection of bookmarks, and that's kinda how I find fics lately. Unless you all have good fic recs?
A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?
Oooof, that's a hard one, and it shifts over time. Right now "Coffee & Scones" have a special spot in my heart, but Clexa fics are always nostalgic to write.
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𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐬 𐙚⋆.˚
Him getting all teary as you continue to edge him, his cock painfully hard and throbbing as you stroked it slow.
“P-please mommy— ahh, need to cum so bad.” His voice cracks with a whimper, trying to thrust his hips into your warm fist for just a little more contact to his overly sensitive tip.
His moans are so loud and cute, his hands tied snuggly behind his back as he ruts desperately up into your fist. His abs tensed, mouth hung open in shaky cries as his orgasm builded up.
“Nngh— ‘m cumming, ‘m— no, no, no, w-why?” He let out a choked sob. Pleading eyes going dark when you only smirked down it him, running your nail up his shaky stomach.
“It’s okay baby.” You coo, “you can take it, you’re such a good boy f’me.”
Choso frowned, his eyes glossy as he glared at your form on top of him. Effortlessly breaking his restraints into two before grabbing you roughly by your neck with the shake of his head, “ ‘m done, ‘s your turn now.”
You let out a loud whimper when Choso shoved you into the bed, spreading your legs impatiently before lining himself up with your dripping hole. “You get this wet from torturing me.” He scoffed.
“Choso baby, w-wait.” Choso only ignored you, thrusting into you roughly before he was hammering into you in the chase of his lost orgasm. Loud squelching sounds filling the room as he used your pussy to stroke his cock however he liked.
“F-fuck,” he cried, his body already shaking as he felt his orgasm coming back to him. His hard chest pressed against your own as he fucked himself stupid with no rhythm. “O-ooh- nghh— feels so good m-mommy,” he breathed in relief, his cock slamming mercilessly into your tight warmth.
“Yeah? Feels so good doesn’t it, fucking yourself with my pussy?” You cooed, small moans falling past your lips as you stroked his hair.
Choso nodded with a broken mewl, his hips rutting into you with nothing but need as his thrusts got sloppy, slobbering kisses down your smooth neck. His eyes met yours through wet eyelashes. “Uh huh- ‘m gonna cum— nngh, please mommy can i cum?”
You only smirked. Good boy.
“Mhm, go ahead baby- cum for me.” Choso let out a string of loud whimpers, a cry of your name echoing through the room as his body trembled.
“O-oh fu-uuck— i love you s’ much mommy.” His voice went up a pitch, his hold on you tightening as his body stilled, twitching cock buried deep inside you to pump you fuck. “So warm— nghh, so tight. Can stay in you for h-hours. Fill you with my babies over ‘n over again.” He moaned when you clenched down on him, ropes after ropes of his sticky cum painting your walls white.
“Fuck, mommy’s gonna cum too baby. Keep fucking me just like that okay?” You moaned desperately.
Choso only pecked your lips before rubbing at your clit while fucking meanly into you. Your head falling back into your pillow with a whiny cry as your body trembled, feeling your stomach tighten as you neared your high.
Choso grinned, “Are you close mommy?”
You nodded with a mewl, your vision blurry and your lips parted in soft whimpers when you felt Choso’s cock repeatedly hitting your sweet spot. The stretch of your pussy for his thick girth clouding your mind as you moaned out for him.
“C’mon, use your words.” His voice deepened, hand reaching up to wrap around your throat with the tilt of his head. “Well?”
You nodded with a hiccup, “Mhm, ‘m so close. Gonna cum f’ you baby.” You cried out shakily, your toes curling with the arch of your back as your orgasm began to wash over you.
“Aww, well that’s too bad.” Choso faux pouted, halting his movements and smiling sweetly when you whined desperately. Lifting your hips towards him for any form of contact. “Baby p-please.”
He leaned down to kiss your cheeks as your own eyes grew watery, “told you it was your turn.”
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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