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#that could factor into it too. probably.
mettywiththenotes · 2 months
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I've seen people talk about how they love canceling plans but I don't get that. I hate canceling plans because then I feel so bad. Like aww I couldn't come and now I've made them feel disappointed and I've ruined the night I hope they don't hate me :(
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seasideoranges · 12 days
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y'all i gotta be honest for a sec, the "atla wouldnt change much if aang wasnt there, in fact it might be better" and "the atla finale wouldnt change much if aang wasnt there to fight ozai" debates is the funniest thing ive seen come out of this fandom
#'this show wouldnt change much if the main character wasnt there' hmm me thinks otherwise!#do people just. not realize that the gaangs arcs ESPECIALLY zukos and kataras would not have happened if aang was taken out of the picture?#ppl praise zukos redemption arc sm and rightfully so but aang is such a HUGE factor in zukos arc!#hell you could argue that it kickstarted because of aang#'if we knew each other back then do you think we could have been friends too?' the question that forever changed zukos life#without aang katara would still be stuck in the south pole with sokka and she wouldve never gotten the training she needed#toph wouldve never left if aang wasnt in the picture#hell you could argue the same with suki shed still be stuck on the island#tbh without aang theyd all be dead or at least in serious trouble by the end of the series#and the finale argument... cmon now#did people forget the scene of iroh explaining to zuko (AND THE AUDIENCE) that aang HAS to be the one to fight ozai#ONLY aang could defeat ozai#the strongest firebender in the series#without aang they all wouldve been cooked#by this point both zuko and sokka were seriously injured and katara and the rest were absolutely exhausted from fighting their own battles#ozai is only one guy yeah but again he is the strongest firebender in the whole series#even iroh was like 'nah theres no way in hell i could beat him'#ozai was in the air spinning around like a beyblade shooting fire from all parts of his body destroying everything in sight LMAOOO#delete later#probably
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fluffypotatey · 3 months
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Okay wait wait wait maybe I’m hallucinating but the dialogue in this show tends to parallel each other so like what if when Swk started taunting Mac about “screwing off to your master, the lady bone demon is waiting” like what if Mac before The Monkey Pancakening said something like that to Swk about “running off to the monk” v different context tho of course. Surprised there’s not much commentary abt how Mac literally doesn’t want to be working for Lbd and doesn’t care even after he said he wanted to be on the winning side and already had a taste of death and wasn’t a fan. He says it like nearly every fight. Is this one of those instances where it’s different for the show characters and I only care about the red flags as an outside viewer not getting attacked by a smoke monster 😭
dw anon you're remembering right! parallels in dialogue is a THING™️ in this show and it makes me so unwell (@imminent-danger-came has a plethora of #lmk parallels on their blog. thank you for all your hard work bestie)
that being said: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT T^T DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID????? DO YOU KNOW THE DAMAGE YOU INFLICTED ON ME?????
but yeah, it would make so much sense to be a callback from what Macky said in the past to swk. it's like his way of throwing memories and Macky's own hypocrisy. he greeted swk by reminding the other about their argument under the mountain. so why not have that other reminder be from swk??? why fucking not!
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rawliverandgoronspice · 3 months
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Yeah. Impgan.
Just to extract tags on another post + get a chance to impapost in here, I just... I wish they would make sense to me in that way together, but they kind of... don't? To me, their relationship kind of transcends enemy-to-whatever-else-would-be-closer-than-that conventions, honestly. Their hatred is too layered, their begrudging respect too genuine, their ugly vulnerability too offputting. I am completely open to other people proposing a read on that dynamic that would make sense, kind of craving it even!!! But while I kind of sat around on this particular edge for a while, it just never actually made sense to me.
Fun fact: I initially assumed Litany would have Impgan undertones when I started writing it, and then realized that this just wasn't that. It was both far less and far more, and I just... I actually really like that sort of weird slow-cook kind of energy they generate around each other, how they manage the feat to dig out both the worst and the best out of each other, how they force each other to recognize their own ugliness and their own potential, and can't help but sympathize with each other too.
Also, to me, Impa is too... checked out of reality to engage with anyone on the mortal plane beyond Zelda. She just cannot match Ganondorf's boiling... everything, she's wayy too cold for that --and so when they meet, it doesn't have any corporal rage, it just fizzles out into vapor and an uncomfortable middle-ground where they can't really sustain their hatred for super long.
So, uhh. Not a pairing to me. But not.... not that either.
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coffeebanana · 1 year
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i have such a weird difficulty balancing real life productivity and creative productivity. like when if i'm having a day where i'm getting lots of things done irl, even if i block out 30m to write and i have the time, i'll be too tired or uninspired to get myself to do it. i'm basically overwhelmed by the concept of doing Real Life Things and Writing Things in one day i almost need to carve out entire days for writing if i want to really get any done. and kjfdnkj that then keeps me from getting life things done because i get into a writing cycle and i can't get myself to stop neglecting real life until i finish the chapter/oneshot/draft/etc... i'm working on. which can take days. and then it's harder to motivate myself to get back to the Real Life Things
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"I have been bleeding for years...all to see my plan come to fruition."
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Oh. Hello there. It's been a while,hasn't it?
I made some sketches a while ago of the Rotoms for the first time, trying to figure out how to draw them in my style. When I got to Madden, I let myself loosen up a little more, and I ended up liking the "Mini-drawing" I made of him. So I decided to take this drawing and color it digitally + add some nice effects.
I think it turned out pretty good.
I call this one “Leave No Trace.” Because that's his policy.
#crookedsmileart#solitude (pandorium)#solitude: echoes from the bloodline#solitude subject placement#madden rotom#will ryan originals#oh; look. My first fanart related to Solitude; it only took 3 years to do one lmao#and it focuses on Madden too. not even Xavier. What a surprise.#I felt like posting this here. Consider this a test.#I haven't appeared in the tags related to IRIS and WRO for a while now; hello to the other 3-4 people who are still here 👋#It's been a hot minute since I made WRO-related fanart;#or in DA in general. My last one was in December and it was about HOAA:R#my absence from making drawings related to these projects could be the result of some factors; I believe#lack of motivation; (in certain cases) lack of ideas; giving priority to other ideas not related to WRO#and maybe a goblin in the back of my head;“preventing” me from making these drawings that I wanted to to#But I want to put these ideas into practice again.#In terms of “small things” like sketches or stuff like the drawing above; I don't have any prediction of when they might happen.#but when it comes to “big things” I have some thoughts. I have the idea of ​​doing something for the following anniversaries#for DOTD (3 years); GT (5 years) and eventually Resurrection (1 year).#Maybe even something for JOD since I've never done anything related to that project#I also intend to draw something for Solitude with all the Rotoms to celebrate the launch of the game when it comes out#That's what I'm mainly thinking about. Will I really do all this? probably not. I can't rlly promise that this can all be done.#with time being one of the facts that I cannot say with certainty that I will do all of them. time and a few other factors.#We'll see depending on how the rest of the year unfolds.#I want to at least do the GT drawing. GT is my favorite IRIS album and I wanted to do something for its 5th anniversary#but the rest? only time will tell. for now? enjoy this little thing with the mad bastard himself; have a good day/night you guys 👋#(also; excited for new song)
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hishima · 23 days
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real talk how does anyone work a 9 to 5 without wanting to kill themselves
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Bout to sit down to watch DW with the folks already internally cringing bc I saw it this morning and they are gonna haaate it
#I'm not even sure I liked it!#i like bits of it#but it's definitely upped the Silly Factor in ways that often feel more clunky and cringey than fun and camp idk#I feel like I'm being the fun police but is it too much to ask that my silly campy spacetime fun also be good???#i feel like it used to be#it was stupid and we had farting aliens and shit but like#very little 'oh i am actually kind of embarrassed to be seen watching this'#believe me i do not WANT to ve cringing about it I'm all for 'cringe is dead'#but I just think there's a difference between low budget surreal but grounded and deceptively well-made/written silly TV#and high budget cgi saturated awkward dialogue fest that barely hangs together and keeps making me wince#it's like I'm getting the wincing feeling from that one awful clunky 'like some kind of volcano' line from fires of pompeii#but ten times an episode minimum#i want to like it!!! i want it to be good i want ncuti to have an absolutely killer era!!#and it defo has its moments!#but bro....... so much tv is just. Bad now.#and it's probably a mix if factors#effects of writers strikes and producer meddling and whatever else#but I'm sick of tuning in to watch a new thing and finding them all riddled with the same brand of very fixable clunkiness#things that could have been fixed with very minor revisions more often than not!!#anyway not posting this in the tag bc i do NOT wanna be a hater or start fucking discourse about this#I just miss feeling excited about tv#i miss having some flimsy sense of trust that things might feel well put together even if i disagree with how they take the story#mr. bees speaks
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krashlite · 10 months
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Thinking abt technical issues/absences with life series is so fascinating bc I don’t think you realize how different each season would have gone if everyone was present
3L SPECIFICALLY vvv
Bdubs missed what was arguably the most crucial session for the war with Dogwarts, seeing as Cleo was able to get out of an alliance with Ren and his army. I highly doubt she would’ve been able to ally with the desert as easily, and Scar might have given Bdubs the clock as a peace offering, which, depending on his reaction, means Scar either would’ve had another lackey for longer or would’ve forgotten the clock by the time they got to the final five. Or, Bdubs may have died that session, meaning the widow’s alliance would’ve been a proper thing and both Impulse and Grian wouldn’t have been betrayed.
BigB was able to survive to be the last green name, meaning he was still left after the rest of Dogwarts fell. In the event that he died this session (which is likely considering this was at the height of the war), he would’ve fallen with the rest of Dogwarts. This means the kill pass scene likely wouldn’t have happened, and Grian wouldn’t have been betrayed. I’m also willing to wager that he would’ve been able to talk Skizz out of storming the Crastle, seeing as BigB wasn’t there for this moment. Skizz wouldn’t have died there and the boogeyman curse would have a different origin, if it was created at all.
Joel’s loyalties fell apart because of the session he was gone, and he likely would’ve stayed with Dogwarts because of their numbers. He probably would’ve followed Skizz into the Crastle if Skizz wasn’t talked down, meaning either they both died but took Impulse with them (bc he’s a traitor), or only one of them died and took out multiple people in the Crastle.
^^^ also in the event that both BigB and Joel were there session 7, Dogwarts might have won the war because of their numbers. So the desert and the Crastle are out, maybe Etho and Joel die during the war (from being targeted), this leaves Ren, Martyn, BigB, and Skizz. Skizz would go after Martyn or BigB because of his pact with Ren from earlier. BigB would probably get taken out here, and Martyn would win in a fight against Skizz. This leaves Ren and Martyn, and seeing as cc!Martyn let us know he would’ve betrayed Ren if it had been just them left, that would be how 3L ended. (<- would’ve started the boogeyman curse)
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scattered-winter · 1 year
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ok winter...it's my turn now: jaykyle. i am intrigued, and i'd like to know as much as is feasible to tell me. (it's killing me to send something this open-ended but i feel like i don't actually know enough about them to be more specific.)
TEEHEE <3333 SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I CARE THEM <33
jaykyle is a ship between two of my favorite dc characters, jason todd and kyle rayner. they're both sooo fascinating on their own AND as a pairing and I just <3333 this is gonna get long because 1) they both have very long and complicated stories that's gonna take a bit to unpack and 2) I love them <33 and I love to talk about them <333 a bit of forewarning, but comics storylines are RIDICULOUSLY complicated and pretty much every single character has more origins, timelines, and personalities than you can shake a stick at. in the comics fandom we take marie kondo's words to heart because if we tried to stick to What Canon Says, we would be running in circles all day because everything contradicts itself. everything is canon and nothing is canon and if it doesn't spark joy, it isn't true <3 I'll explain everything to the best of my ability but it's gonna get Real Complicated Real Fast
tw for death (child and otherwise)
jason todd (playlist) is part of the batfam (group of vigilantes associated with batman) and he's also part of the wayne family (by adoption). I looked everywhere for the panels to show how he was introduced because it's objectively the funniest way to introduce any character but alas, they have eluded me so I'll just tell you: he grew up in the poorer parts of gotham city with his parents, catherine and willis todd. willis got caught up in two-face's gang (because gotham city as a whole has a trend of eating its people alive/forcing them to do crime because they're desperate and have no choice etc etc) and ended up getting killed because of it, and catherine died of an illness, leaving jason to fend for himself on the streets.* he is brought into the story by jacking the tires off the BATMOBILE, and getting caught by batman himself. in response to this he hits batman with a tire iron, calls him a big boob, and runs away (and in the process making bruce laugh out loud in the same place his parents died which makes me SOO OUGHOUGHOUGHOUGH)
*catherine and willis both loved jason very much, but recent comics have portrayed willis as abusive/catherine as neglectful, which doesn't spark joy for me personally so I tend to ignore those ones and stick to the others where they were genuinely loving parents who fell on hard times.
the original robin, dick grayson, recently moved on from the mantle and went to live somewhere else,* so bruce adopted jason and started training him as the new robin. he was a very bright, very loving boy who enthusiastically went to school and read books and loved bruce so so much and bruce loved him because that was his KID.**
*I can't remember if he went to live with the titans or went to gotham's sister city, bludhaven; but in any case he ends up in bludhaven eventually and operates there as nightwing
**In more recent comics, jason's robin days are portrayed as him being brash and violent (new drinking game: take a shot every time a comic describes robin jason as "angry" or "reckless" smfh) and of course while being a vigilante involves violence, and being a well-rounded character, jason did indeed have moments of anger, I strongly dislike this way of thinking because it takes so much away from his character and you'll see what I mean by that in a minute.
however, the happy days weren't gonna last. jason discovered that catherine todd wasn't his biological mother, and he had found some evidence pointing to who his birth mother was. (I think it was a birth certificate that was partially damaged so he couldn't see the whole name but it's been a while since I've read the comic where that happens so don't quote me on that) but regardless of how he found out, jason set out to find his real mother. he'd narrowed down the list of possible mothers to a few different women, so he found them each in turn and ruled them out as he went. he ran away from home to go on his little self-discovery mission, and the only reason bruce didn't go after him was because the joker had a big scheme with a nuclear missile that kinda took precedence. but by pure happenstance, they ran into each other and decided to work together for both their goals (stopping joker AND finding jason's mom). eventually jason and bruce narrowed the list down to one woman: sheila haywood. they travelled to ethiopia to find her, and jason actually did, but moments after meeting her, sheila betrayed him and handed him over to the joker, who proceeded to beat jason within an inch of his life with a crowbar while sheila watched.
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(batman: a death in the family)
he then tied up sheila and left them both to die in the warehouse because he rigged it with a bomb. jason, despite being betrayed by her literally minutes before, stopped to untie her to get her out instead of saving himself. but the bomb went off with them both inside, just in time for batman (who had been frantically rushing to the warehouse as soon as he heard that jason had been captured) to see the explosion <3
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(batman: a death in the family)
and the thing that REALLY fucks me up is that even after everything she did to him, jason still used himself as a human shield to try and protect sheila. these two panels have literally caused me lasting damage
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(batman: a death in the family)
this is also why the narrative of jason being reckless makes me so angry. he didn't die because he was a reckless idiot who rushed into danger without a thought, he died because he tried to save a woman who nearly got him killed. he died shielding her with his own body even though she betrayed him literally a few minutes earlier. some comic writers have rewritten the scene to take out sheila entirely, but that takes away a huge part of the story!!!! jason didn't die because he was reckless!! he died because he was trying to save someone!!!! I will literally fight people on that to my grave smh
bruce brought jason's body back to gotham and buried him, and was never really the same after that (but that's a topic for another ramble because this is about THE BOY <3)
this is where things get a little trippy <3 first thing you gotta know about comic books is that death is RARELY permanent. the exact details are lost on me since I tend to avoid the big crisis events (and the headache they give me) but basically superboy-prime punches the fabric of the universe and kinda .. breaks some things. and jason wakes up in his coffin (slightly zombified), six feet underground. after clawing his way out of his own fucking grave, jason gets hit by a fucking CAR and is then taken in by talia al ghul (one of bruce's past lovers, daughter of ra's al ghul [leader of the league of assassins]). talia put jason in something called a lazarus pit, which is basically a pool of green bubbly goo that can resurrect someone (ra's al ghul is hundreds of years old and keeps himself alive with the pits). jason came fully back to life and stayed with talia for a time, during which he travelled the world to be trained by some of the best/most notorious fighters and assassins all over the globe. at this point, he'd been dead for quite a while (a year AT LEAST) and so when he finds out that the joker is still fucking ALIVE, it's .... a shock, to say the least. it's a very complicated issue because batman's deepest-rooted rule is to Never Kill, and there were a lot of underlying circumstances preventing him from killing the joker right after jason's death (despite really, really wanting to) but the thing is. the joker just keeps killing and hurting people, and he gets put in arkham asylum, and escapes and kills more people, then gets put in arkham again, and it's just a vicious cycle where the joker just keeps hurting more and more people. and like. jason got murdered by the joker and the guy is still fucking alive and murdering more people. so he heads off to gotham with a huge plan to confront bruce and make him choose once and for all: kill the joker, or let jason die. this whole arc is my very favorite comic book of all time, batman: under the red hood <333 basically jason becomes a crime boss called red hood (which was the joker's old alias before he became...well, the joker) and plots CIRCLES around bruce, joker, and the other crime bosses. they're literally his pawns the entire time <3 but this all comes to a head when jason traps batman, the joker, and himself in a room where he finally reveals his identity to batman and gives him an ultimatum: kill the joker, or kill him. he had the whole place rigged with explosives so that no matter what bruce chose, they would still blow up (as a form of insurance? as a form of suicide? who knows!)
I'd like to point out the obvious and say that jason was NOT in a great state of mind during this whole thing. like. this post highlights it very well imo, but tl:dr jason didn't really...make a plan for after the showdown. it was clear that he had a single goal in mind, which was facing off with bruce and the joker once and for all, and it was also clear how it would end because he knew deep down that bruce would never kill the joker. so he knew he would die going into it but he didn't really care. he did in fact die at the end of under the red hood, since he was originally meant to be a one-off character, but he was so popular that dc sorta erased his death at the end of utrh and established him as a main batfam player.
jason's post-resurrection characterization is REALLY inconsistent, but really at his core, he's deeply traumatized and angry, and his driving motivation is to save gotham in what he deems is the "right" way: killing criminals so that they're no longer a problem. which, considering how many times supervillains break out of arkham and wreak havoc, isn't really that far of a stretch. but because of batman's firm moral stance on killing, the two have a very .... complicated relationship. but regardless jason has one of the coolest designs in the entire batfam in my opinion <3
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(batman: three jokers)
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(red hood and the outlaws) (I hate this comic for what it did to the other characters but the art was pretty at least)
sometimes he's drawn with a white streak in his hair (a side effect of the lazarus pit) which is one of my FAVORITE looks for him <33 and he's a regular contender for my icon because he's my blorbo bingus blob boy <3333
BUT ANYWAY <333 ON TO KYLE <333
disclaimer: I haven't been reading kyle's comics as long as I have jason's (jason was my gateway character who first got me into comics in the first place so I had a lot more time to really dig into his comics and characterization) and there's a lot of info about each character that's kind of...absorbed over time. because there's so many different stories and comics about each character, it's hard to find everything they appear in, and since I haven't been reading kyle for as long, I don't consider myself an expert on him in any way but I'll do my best to talk about him because he's my favorite green lantern <3
(playlist) in order to explain kyle, first I need to explain hal jordan. he's the Original green lantern (meaning when you think of the dc superhero green lantern, he's probably the one who comes to mind despite there being more lanterns than I can count. he's the most well-known by FAR) but basically, the green lanterns are an intergalactic military/police force led by the guardians (a bunch of really tiny blue guys). they use green power rings that are fueled by willpower, and so only someone with a lot of willpower (specifically, the will to "overcome great fear") can be a green lantern. (there's a ring for every color on the spectrum, but that's another ramble for another day). hal jordan had been losing faith in the lantern corps for a long time, but the last straw was when his hometown, coast city, was destroyed. hal basically went into a massive grief spiral and tried to bring back the entire city and didn't have enough power to do that, so he took on the name parallax and murdered pretty much the entire corps, and most of the guardians to absorb the main green power source to get enough power to Resurrect The City. but one guardian managed to escape to earth, where he found kyle rayner and gave him the last green power ring.
being practically the only green lantern left, kyle had to defeat parallax and restore the corps practically by himself. and the thing about kyle is that he's the GOOFIEST guy on the planet (affectionate). upon finding out that he's now a superhero he proceeds to immediately go tell his ex-girlfriend about it (alex <333) and they have a photoshoot of him in his suit. I fucking love them <333
but alas!!! happy days don't last <3 kyle leaves alex alone for literally only a few minutes to go be a hero, and while he's gone, one of green lantern's biggest enemies breaks into her apartment and murders her. kyle comes back to find her dead body stuffed inside the fridge (fun fact: that's actually where the term "fridging" came from <3) and he proceeds to. torture and almost kill the guy who did it. we love an unhinged icon <3
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(green lantern #55)
it's been a while since I've read his origin comic, but kyle eventually defeats parallax. further down the line, he becomes a white lantern (mega-powerful because it has the powers of all the colors in the spectrum, not just green) and in my personal favorite comic, also becomes ion (basically the living embodiment of green lantern power. also basically a god) and tbh it's his BEST look of all time
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(ion: guardian of the universe)
like I said, I don't really have as clear of an idea of kyle's timeline since there's a few gaps in my reading, but the essentials is that he literally can't keep a girlfriend because they keep dying, and he continuously gets the power of a literal god and is so humble and heroic about it that it never goes to his head. but he also consistently tortures and kills without really showing any remorse whatsoever <33 he has the range <33
BUT. AT LAST. WE GET TO JAYKYLE. THE THING YOU ASKED ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE. there's only ONE comic that I know of where they actually interact on-panel, and that's countdown presents: the search for ray palmer. it's tied in with countdown to final crisis, which is one of the biggest dc events of all time, and I haven't read it and probably never will because the big crises always give me SUCH a headache to try and understand </3 but I HAVE read search for ray palmer because <3 of them <3
essentially it's a story where the atom (ray palmer) gets lost in the multiverse and so 3 people who are already kind of...Outside the Mainstream Timeline embark on a multiverse journey to find him. those 3 people? jason todd, kyle rayner, and donna troy. jason is only alive because the timeline shattered, kyle was literally a time-and-reality-altering god not just once, but multiple times, and donna troy has also died and come back and like. is the only comics character with Self Awareness (remember when I said every comic book character has a gazillion different origins and reboots? donna remembers ALL of them <3) and so all three of them are affectionately referred to as "cosmic mistakes" because. they're literally irregularities in the cosmic timestream. and I love them for it <3
the reason I'm a jaykyle truther is because. they're so fucking funny in that comic. they argue in pretty much every single panel they share, but their internal monologues are....very, very homoeretic.
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(kyle, about jason) (countdown: search for ray palmer: wildstorm)
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(jason, about kyle) (countdown to final crisis #33)
and honestly, it's about how fucked up they would be together. they would tear each other apart and also tear apart everyone else and it would be a horrible time for everyone involved <3 there are ships for cute cuddles and then there are ships for fucking killing each other and jaykyle is the second one <3333
#i kind of. ran out of steam by the time it came to talk about jaykyle which is. funny. given that it's what you Asked about#but listen. they're so so messed up. it compels me <3#i wrote a lot of fic for them and tbh i didnt really lean into the fucked up-ness of their relationship as i could have <3#but like. they do care about each other in their own ways but they're both so headstrong and almost...Too different that it wouldn't last#like. jason is Very repressed. my mans is batman's kid he's learned from the best when it comes to Not Feeling Emotions#and kyle has literally mastered the entire emotional spectrum to the extent that he could wield the white ring.#you have one guy who's ruled by his emotions because he can't express/truly feel them on one end#and you have a guy who's ruled by his emotions because he wears his heart on his sleeve and follows his heart with everything he does#and factor in how they're both so stubborn? and how they're both so damaged and traumatized in their own ways??#they're a disaster <3#anyway. i lomve them <3#tysm for asking this literally took me hours to write but it was the BEST few hours of my life#typing with the biggest goofiest look on my face <3#jaykyle#leo 🌻#jason todd#kyle rayner#fun fact! for a while i was one of the top jaykyle blogs <33#probably not anymore since my 911 blogging has kinda taken over my dc blogging for the moment#but still. for a while there i was winning <3#there are also quite a few mutuals of mine who definitely could have explained this better but alas.#very very glad you came to me with this it made my day <3333333
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friendofthecrows · 1 year
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Wish I had more of that stereotypical "refined genius psychopath mystery villain" vibes and less "dysfunctional no sleep cycle can't tell when/if they have emotions traumatized mess doesn't feel like a human paranoid future true crime psychopath" vibes. So that was word salad. Moving on.
#i have been described as a genius but unfortunately the#aspd and other mental illnesses mess with my impulse control and risk vs return and energy/motivation levels#so it kind of gets in the way of showing off my intelligence most of the time#which probably makes me less insufferable but also leads to some people underestimating me#or just thinking of me as too much of a mess in general#both of which i hate#and when it comes to the 'coolness/sophistication factor' vs 'unfortunate creature that needs to stop interacting with humans vibe' well.#trust me i would go into seclusion for the rest of time if it was financially viable and if#my various projects didn't require working with other people#ugh I'm not really that upset today I'm just frustrated by my brain#also my body and other people and the universe and the concept of time but that's a whole different subject#sometimes the stars align and it's like the best aspects of everything 'wrong' with me are displaying at once#and i actually feel like myself and like myself#then something shifts idk but the worse things start showing again and the best bits lose some of their influence and#suddenly I'm struggling to get through a day with a decent level of functionality and without engaging in destructive behaviors#the AND is very important because i can usually do or. At least i have that i guess#today i don't feel like a person i feel like a poorly written character who's been brought into real life#only to find out that when faced with normal everyday problems#their fucked up little traits are way more of a disadvantage than they thought#i could probably blame it on the trauma or the aspd or a million other things#but maybe it's just because i am the person i am#and idk how to feel about that#just want the stars to align again
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sysig · 1 year
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Playdate (Patreon)
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justgoji · 6 months
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so I had a nightmare and I went to see my mom about it and she didn’t care or even bother to ask if I was alright :(
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This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.
And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)
But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)
I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)
And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)
And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess
#N rambles#I feel like I am just repeating things at this point#I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this#upset about#But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad#Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show#I was so excited and looking forward to this#Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation#And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset#so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors#and this one is not helping#And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic#And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah#I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about#The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively???#I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but#I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it#Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that#like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something#And just tried to intrepret it in good faith#Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously#It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it#(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly)#Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry
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orcelito · 11 months
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i think......... airplanes give me headaches
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wheucto · 11 months
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i was just going to say 'personalized advertizing' or something along those lines but ? ??? ? ? ? what ?? ??
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