#that like the whole week up til that point I just. started getting overwhelmed and now im getting annoyed by everything and I want to be

[seilon]

hhdgsgddhh

[satorusugurugurl]

Toji as a bodyguard

Til’ the Day that I Die

Summary: You’re a popstar in need of a bodyguard when you find yourself with a stalker. That’s how you meet Fushiguro Toji, you’re insanely hot bodyguard. Who knows how to push your buttons, and get you feeling flustered. Just how far is he willing to go to protect you? And how far would you go to protect him?

Pairing: Bodyguard!Fushiguro Toji x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: mentions of stage right, performance, anxiety, stalking, panic attacks, language mentions of gun, (eventual smut)

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: this request is amazing!! It got my brain worms going! Once again, this will be a multi part series, I’m looking at a total of four parts as I have already planned down the whole story. I’m sorry for the lack of content, it’s been a rough few days and I just decided to take some time for myself! But I do have about four stories almost done so you can expect updates for the rest of the week! Love you all!! (Readers' stage persona is highly inspired by several artists! 😊)

Part Two Part Three Part Four

Performance anxiety is defined as an excessive feeling of fear related to being able to perform well. Symptoms of performance anxiety include pulse racing, rapid breathing, dry mouth, and throat tightness. Dealing with performance anxiety when you're a rising star is brutal, and you begin to regret all your life choices. You aren't sure if you want this to be your life. You were attending nursing school, but your sister posted a video of you singing online. Reading all the sweet comments was fun initially, but it's funny how fast things change.

One second, you were posting a few videos of you singing, and the next thing you knew, you had a record deal, your songs were on the radio, and you were performing at concerts. All in the span of six months. The attention was overwhelming, and, at times, your anxiety even worse. But the more you performed, the more you were able to bury the stage fright down, masking the fear with a persona you made until you were home in your apartment. In the confines of your home, you could cry and tremble; dealing with those attacks was something you’d gotten used to.

But your stalker was a whole new fucked up mess you never dreamed about dealing with.

It had started as nothing more than a couple of love letters that turned into more descriptive letters detailing information about your personal life you had never told anyone. Anytime you saw a letter come in with ‘M’ written on the front and dark gray ink, your stomach twisted. You at first thought you would be okay. You could handle something like this. This was the kind of thing that came along with the territory of being famous.

That was until a bouquet of roses was dropped off at your door in your guarded apartment building. That whole situation sent you into a full-blown panic attack. You left your apartment and went to stay with your friends. That incident caused your manager to contact Kong Security Services and hire you as a bodyguard. One, you were anxiously waiting to meet as you sat in your dressing room before your show.

“It’s going to be fine, I promise.” Nanako, your makeup artist, assured you as she fixed your blush. “Geto said this agency is the best in the business.”

You shot her a skeptical look while her twin sister fixed your hair. “Are you just saying that because your dad’s are my managers, and they told you to say that?” When both twins had ceased their movements in obvious shock at your to-the-point accusation.

“W-What—?”

“No, never!”

“Uh-huh—I don’t believe a word either of you are saying right now.”

Nanako steps back, looks you over, and bites her lip. “They really are the best, whether or not we get to go out for Boba after this. It’s not like sweet milk tea is on the line if we don’t ease your nerves.” Just as your sweet young makeup artist finishes, the door to your dressing, eyes darting towards the door as it swings further open. Suguru and his husband, Satoru, enter, displaying their matching black-and-white wedding rings. They were the best management company in the world, the power couple of Tokyo. Satoru, who was in charge of your social media accounts, types viciously on his phone while Suguru grins up at a man walking in with them.

If you could even call him a man.

A fucking mountain of muscle is a more appropriate way of describing him. He’s tall, has dark hair and navy blue eyes, and he’s fit. The mountain wore a tailored jacket and white button-down shirt with the first two buttons undone. His eyes leave Geto’s for a minute to watch you sinking further in your chair, his pink tongue running over the scar down the corner of the right side of his mouth.

“Hun, this is Fushiguro Toji,” Suguru announced before glancing at his phone. “He’s your bodyguard and will be with you everywhere you go.”

“E-Everywhere?”

“Yes, to rehearsals, your shows, meet-and-greets, he’ll even escort you home.” Your eyes rammed back over to the mountain of a man standing off to the side. When you have time off, or he needs a day away, his work partner Tsukumo Yuki will take over for him.”

You swallowed hard, fingers twitching, a subtle action your new bodyguard noticed immediately as you dug your fingers into your skirt. It was part of Toji‘s job to see behaviors and be observant. He could tell you were on edge from how your fingers twitched to how your pulse raced in your neck. His handler, Shiu, had warned him that you were an anxious mess after finding out about your stalker. But this anxiety didn’t come from just having a stalker. This anxiety was deeply rooted in you. It was probably something you had suffered with for years.

Without being told, Toji stepped forward, kneeling before you, giving you a gentle smile like a father would give a frightened child. He had to put your nerves at ease to let you know you would be okay. “I know you’re scared, but I can assure you that I am very skilled. You won’t even notice I’m around.” You weren’t sure about that. How could you not notice the handsome man who would always be around you?

“Right, thank you.”

“You’re welcome--”

“Ugh! We gotta get going; they expect you on stage in five minutes.”

“I-I s-shou—” you stuttered as the performing anxiety began to root itself into your already anxious demeanor.

“Yep, let’s get going.” Toji stood motioning towards the door of the dressing room. “After you, Miss.”

Being a bodyguard and a security escort for so long had allowed Toji to pick up on specific cues from people, like how their eyes moved around the room or how their body language told him what they were feeling. The way your fingers were twitching, he knew you were nervous and scared, and he wasn’t sure if it was stage fright or something to do with your stalker.

Regardless of whether you wanted to go up there, it didn’t change the fact that thousands of people were already waiting for you to perform. As you both walked down the hall, Tojo noticed you took a deep breath and exhaled through your nose, and as you turned the corner, you put on a huge smile. The way you put in a mask so fast nearly sent Toji stumbling back. He was usually prepared for the unexpected, but seeing this scared, shaking woman shift into a bubbly pop star rocked him back.

Everyone you encountered smiled wide at your perky voice and demeanor. You truly lit up the whole room. “Alright, guys! Thank you for all your hard prep! Now, let’s have a great show tonight!” You were handed a jeweled microphone and placed on a platform to lift you to the main stage, but before you gripped the handles to steady yourself, Toji grabbed your hand. “Oh, Fushiguro?”

“I'll be on the side, watching you. If you need me or notice something's off, you should give me a sign.”

“A sign? Like a signal?”

“Yeah, something easy and inconspicuous.”

You thought for a second, that perky look still on your face, but Toji could see the anxiety behind your eyes. “Well, I wink a lot during my shows and throw a heart sign up.” Toji hummed, pursing his lips together.

“Well, if you don't want to alarm your fans, how about this.” he took your hand, putting your middle and ring finger down. Your thumb, pinky, and pointer finger were left extended.

“Oh, the sign for ‘I love you’!”

“Only use this if you need me on stage. Otherwise, do what you normally do, but know I’ll be right there if you need me.”

There was a flicker of fear in your eyes, which probably would go unnoticed by many different people, but it was one that he could see clearly as day. “Right, thank you, Fushiguro.” Your new bodyguard looked at you as he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Toji, just call me Toji. There is no need for formalities. Have a good show, Miss.”

“R-Right, thank you, Toji.”

Your new bodyguard watched as the platform began to lift, taking you up to the stage where fans were screaming your name. Taking a deep breath before smiling, your bodyguard watched you reach the top before the band blaring music as you began singing into your microphone. The beat of the music rang in his ears; Toji ran for the stairs that led him to the stage, where he could watch you from the side.

There, Toji found your managers standing on the sidelines, watching you. Upon looking at you, he met a woman who looked nothing like the girl he had just spoken to moments before. You danced, sang, smiled, and winked at the crowd. Multicolored lights flashed as fog from the fog machine flooded the stage, and the backup dancers moved in sync with each other. I think this is poor, who was shaking upon meeting him.

“Yeah, crazy to see her shift, isn’t it?” Geto asked before pulling his phone out and snapping a few photos of you as you sang. “She’s like a different person.”

“Like? I hate to be the one to break this to you, Geto, but that woman is a completely different person. Why the fuck is she masking?”

The white-haired man glared at Toji, his sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. “She’s not masking; it's called a stage persona.” The annoyance was clear in the other man’s voice, a tone that crawled its way under his skin.

“Look, buddy, keep your terms to yourself. I don't care about the different terms. All I know is that woman—” he jabbed his thumb in your direction as you twirled around the stage. “is masking; that’s not who she is.”

“You don’t know a lot about the entertainment industry. This is something that a lot of celebrities do. It’s completely normal, and she knows that. That’s how she adapted so fast.”

Toji wasn’t sure if that was the case. He had seen you firsthand, shaking in your dressing room. To see you change drastically for the sake of a show? Toji could see why you would be nervous to go up on stage. There had to be a fear of your mask slipping, revealing your true persona to the world.

But Satoru was right; Toji’s job was to protect and ensure you were safe. It wasn’t his place to judge how you lived or worked your career. In the end, you were just like all the other popstar divas and clients he had had before. Rich people with too much money to throw around and fame led them to believe that they were in danger all the time, which is how he managed to keep a steady income for himself and his kids as long as they were rich snobs like you, Tojo was guaranteed to have a job.

Instead of continuing to argue with your overzealous manager, Toji crossed both arms over his chest and watched you closely. The sooner the show was over, the sooner he could get you back to your apartment, where he could call to check on Megumi. He just wanted to relax, and for all he knew, you and your managers were overreacting to this so-called stalker you had. If anything, this might’ve been some cruel prank; receiving a note to roses wasn’t that big of a deal, and this was way too easy for as much as he was getting paid, so he wasn’t going to bitch about it.

What he did want to bitch about was how fucking long your show went on for. Performed for about two hours straight, only taking breaks to change costumes throughout the performance. It was in those moments when you were changing that your mask slipped. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes and how you wanted to do nothing more than take a break. But as fast as that mask slipped, you had it back on instantly. When one costume was off, and the other slipped on, you were back on stage to sing the next song.

After about two hours and thirty minutes of this bullshit, you gave a final bow and blew kisses out at the crowd of strangers who were cheering your name. While the two hours he got to stand up to the side and watch you perform was easy, he only had to look for your signal if you needed help; getting you out of the arena safely was a whole different story. Everything moved so fast The second you stepped off that stage and towards your bodyguard.

After every show, the goal was the same: get changed as fast as possible, collect your stuff, which Nanako and Mimiko had already packed, and get in your limo before the crowd started heading towards your exit. Toji gently placed his hand on the small of your back, ushering you through the maze of halls that led you back to the dressing room, where, just like you knew, the girls had packed all your stuff.

“You got five minutes to change,” Suguru announced as Satoru snickered behind his husband. “Thanks to Satoru, you’re trending again for your newest song.”

Toji could see the minutey, perky personality shift into your more anxious state. You frowned, literally frowned, at the news. Most people would be jumping over the moon to hear it. Seeing such an ungrateful expression on your face had Toji resist the urge to roll his eyes into his skull.

Spoiled little brats, you rich folks were all the same.

“Did you make sure to tag the—“

“Are you insinuating that I don’t know who to tag or which hashtags to use? Babes, I've got you covered. When have I ever let you down?”

“Never.”

“Right, so let the best PR manager handle this.”

Toji sighed, glancing towards his watch. “Two minutes,” he announced to the room of people bouncing off the walls and collecting items to clean up the green room. How could your managers be talking about more brand deals at a time like this? Brand deals were bullshit, but knowing how popular you were with the teenagers and you probably had some make-up deal or some other shit that would make you all the richer, you had to make sure the right people were tagged so you continued to be sponsored. But there was a time and place for that, and now wasn't the right time!

“I know you're the best Satoru, but I still wanna make sure the word gets out there.” You stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in black leggings and a simple T-shirt. Completely different from the baby doll dresses you were wearing on stage. “It’s imperative—”

“I know. I’ve already posted it. Everyone’s been tagged accordingly, and the hashtags are in place. You’ll get lots of people to see this, trust me.”

You were slipping on your baseball cap and sunglasses when Toji’s large hand gently grabbed you by the shoulder. “We gotta get going,” you sighed before nodding, waving off your team, and falling Toji down the hall to where your car awaited you.

Thanks to your quick change, nobody was waiting for you outside, making your getaway from the arena smooth as butter. You just wished you felt as calm as your exit from the bustling stage had been. You were beginning to regret going back to your apartment. You hadn’t been back there since the roses were delivered to your door. Going back was going to be difficult, leaving your stomach swarming with anxiety. But at least you had a big mountain of a man to protect you if, god forbid, you needed help.

The entire ride back to your apartment complex was thankfully quiet. Toji sat on the other side of you, staring out the window, not making any conversation, which was a blessing. Not only was your throat sore from the amount of singing you had done, but the idea of sitting through a conversation run solely by small talk was almost as bad as your performance anxiety. Sitting in the back of the car, leaning your head against the window without worrying about smiling or acting perfect in front of strangers, was a breath of fresh air.

Being alone with your bodyguard made you feel like you could let your walls come down for the first time in a long time. It was a feeling you might as well get used to. He would be around most of the time, so instead of adorning the perfect, pretty mask you always wore, you could be the introverted true version of yourself. Knowing that you could relax, you shut your eyes, allowing yourself to doze off as the car smoothly headed down the freeway.

If only your dreams were smooth and calm like the car ride. Your dreams were filled with mysterious notes and roses you had once loved. They circled you, drowning you in paper and petals as a roaring crowd rang through your ears. You could fight against the tidal waves, but instead, you let them wash over you, allowing yourself to be crushed by the unbearable weight of being a star at times.

Nursing school wasn’t easy, but at least when you were in school, you didn’t have to worry about a mysterious bouquet showing up on your apartment doorstep or sneaking out to avoid getting seen and swarmed by your fans. Your biggest concern in school was getting good grades and doing everything possible to get your degree. The only things you had to worry about were study dates and pop quizzes, not ominous letters that made you fearful for your safety.

These nightmares were so vivid that you wished your family had heard you singing online. Was it too much to ask for a normal everyday life where you weren't constantly stressed?

You sighed, looking up at the lingering rays of light that slowly began to peek through. More envelopes and roses piled on the cocoon you were stuck in. Perhaps there was no going back. This might very well be the rest of your life. Just as you were shutting your eyes to the casket you were being buried in, a hand reached out from the top of the mountain of dread and anxiety you lived with, reaching for you.

You couldn’t make out who was reaching out to you, but you were sure they just wanted to help you. Without hesitation, you reached for that hand, brushing over their fingertips. Just when they clasped your hand to pull you out of the burial ground, you were jn. You gasped as someone shook you, waking you from the dream.

You sat up quickly, shaking as you met Tojo’s navy blue eyes. He was frowning, motioning towards the rolled-down window, and Ijichi, head of security for your building, leaned in, giving you a weak smile. With a quick rub to both your eyes, you placed your mask back on, going from the sleep-deprived woman you were transforming into the perky popstar everybody knew and loved.

“Ijichi! Hi!”

“Hi yourself, glad to have you back.”

Toji could see how your shoulders stiffened when you mentioned being back. “Oh, yep! It's good to be back.” Toji could see through your facade, while Ijichi was blind to it.

“I just wanted to let you know that we added more cameras to the building, and my security post will be far stricter with deliveries and anything else from this point on. We want you to feel safe here, and I’m sorry we failed to do that in the first place.”

“Oh no, it’s not your fault! Plus, I feel a lot better now that I have Fushiguro!” The man with glasses peered into the car, waving at your bodyguard whose face remained stoic, not returning the gesture. “Okay, uhm Ijichi, Toji; Toji Ijichi.”

No pleasantries were exchanged, not at all. The only thing Toji managed to do was give him a nod before focusing his attention back on the massive building and making a mental note to ask for access to the cameras. That way, he could keep an eye on you and ensure nobody was hanging around who wasn't supposed to be there. Those thoughts Toji was lost in made it a tranquil ride up the elevator to your apartment. He was leaving you feeling even more anxious. Usually, being around someone quiet never bothered you; you felt so relaxed around that person, but Toji’s cold demeanor and attitude toward your friend made you irritable.

“So, uhm, are you going to be that cold and standoffish every time you meet somebody I know?” You asked, finally allowing your heart mind to win over your mind.

“Huh?”

His dark gaze had you swallowing the lump suddenly in your throat. “I wanted to ask if this is going to be normal, you being—.”

“Oh, I am so sorry little star; I wasn't aware I needed to wear a fake ass mask around people too.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, and unfortunately, unlike you, I like wearing my face. I don’t have to be someone I’m not to get people to like me. Because quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if anybody likes me.”

“I don't eit—”

Toji scoffed, leaning against the elevator wall and shaking his head at your words. “Oh, please. You’re just like every other client I’ve had. All you care about is money, your appearance, and what sponsor deals you get.” His words made your blood begin to boil.

“You’ve barely known me for a couple of hours, and you think you know who I am?”

“Oooh yeah, you're some small-town girl that made it big. And instead of showing the world who you really are, you put on this fucking mask, one that hides the true you from the prying eyes of the world. You care only about ticket sales, making your fans happy, and sponsorships like the one you were talking about with your manager not even thirty minutes ago. So yeah, I’m sure I got a good idea of who you are. It’s my job to read people..”

This was the best security in the business; bodyguard your manager had set you up with? Ha! Yeah, right, this man was nothing more than a dickhead that had a lot of opinions that were far from true?!

You laughed, pushing yourself away from the wall to stand in front of the doors before him. “That's the great thing about wearing a mask around people I don’t fucking know. They get to see the real me, but I get to see people for who they truly are.” Toji opened his mouth to continue arguing with you, but only for you to quickly shut him down, holding a hand up before you. “You were right about a couple things; I do put on a mask, I love my fans, but I could give a damn about sponsorships.” Toji pushed himself off the wall, towering over you, gritting his teeth as he tried to control his evident anger.

“Oh, you suddenly don’t give a damn about sponsorships? I just heard you talking to your manager about one.”

“You don’t know anything about me! That whole conversation had nothing to do with this sponsorship!”

Tojo tilted his head back with a laugh. “Oh, right, of course. You don’t care about your amazing condo or all the money you’re making; you don’t care about those so-called nonexistent sponsorship deals.” The elevator rattled like the lid to the rage threatening to explode.

“Alright, yes, I do live in a nice apartment, one with security that sucks, but it’s still home. But for your information, I don’t do this for the money. You don’t know what I have planned on doing with my life, so I don’t want to hear you make assumptions about me! The conversation you so rudely eavesdropped on had nothing to do with a sponsorship deal but a massive donation I’m making to the local Children’s Hospital. The same hospital is well renowned for helping unfortunate children. So yeah, that whole conversation you listened to was me telling my manager to tag the hospital in my video because the hospital inspired the song! It was a public service announcement, a reminder to help those who can’t help themselves.”

Your rant was unexpected. Toji had never had one of his clients talk to him like that; strangely, he liked it.

“And another thi—”

The doors to the elevator slowly slid open with a ding as you reached your apartment. Usually, your automatic lights would be on in the living room and kitchen, leading upstairs. But as the doors opened, no lights illuminated your bodyguard's face. You knew something was wrong, and just before Toy could look over your shoulder into the apartment,Toji’s hand quickly covered your eyes. He pulled you into his chest, and he listened in as he smashed on the lobby button on the button panel.

“Toji!?” You asked, placing your hands on top of his. “What is it?! Is something wrong? Let me see!”

Toji shook his head as if you could see his reaction, his hand reaching for the gun at the holster on his side as the door slowly shut. There was no way in hell you were going to see what was behind the door. Because he knew if you were to see what had happened in your apartment, you would never be the same. As the elevator slowly began to descend, Toji realized that he had been wrong about your stalker. It wasn’t some harmless joke.

This was fucking serious.

(TBC)

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @luvsymai

[lululandd]

antics;

pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader

wordcount: 1.4k+

warnings: fluff, reader owns a cat, the cat has a name

note: happy holidays :3 (also on AO3)

summary: reader unknowingly pranks simon.

part i. | part ii. | part iii.

Your pet cat had been restless the whole day; pacing around the front door with his tail swishing about, meowing your way and then stared at the door to let you know he wanted to go outside, batting things away from your hands, before camping in front of the door to nap in front of it.

He’s back.

And by ‘he’ you mean the really tall burly man that lives at the other end of the hall that your cat loves. He is an indoor cat that gets to sniff the hallway and the lift on extremely rare occasions, so how he figures out the man is back home when he’s inside your flat you will never know.

He met him one time. One time. If it wasn’t for his obsession with the man you’d have forgotten about the whole thing. Your naughty pet had escaped and ran towards the open lift that day, and unluckily the doors were open, but luckily there was a man with quick reflexes right by the door that caught him in between his legs. He pinched the little bastard by the neck with his ankles and just stood there while you two looked at each other in surprise.

He recovered far quicker than you did. “You gonna get ‘em or what?” His tone is clipped, hands holding onto the elevator door so it doesn’t close on him.

It snapped you out of your stupor. “Sorry!” You walked towards him and kneeled as you tried to grab your chubby pet.

This incident stayed on his little kitty brain over and over or something because he never got over the man til this day. There would be weeks, even months of ‘normal’ behaviour until he behaves, well… like this.

Only this time you decided to indulge him to see what he would do. You cautiously watched his excited little pitter patter and raised tail a couple of steps behind, ready to haul him back home if it gets too overwhelming or if the man reacts negatively. He stood up on both his hind legs at his door and started meowing, ears perked up intently towards it. His eyes practically shining black orbs when he turned his head to look at you. He puts his paws back down on the ground and meows one last time towards the oncoming footsteps from the other side of the door.

He bolted around the man’s legs as soon as it opened, running straight into his flat. He had learnt from his previous mistake of going in between them.

“What the fuck.” He muttered under his breath as he turned his head back inside, before closing the door. You had worried he would do something drastic but he came back out a few seconds later, with your cat held by the chest as the rest of his body sits on his forearm. He seems to be content being slung around by a stranger. “Li’l cheeky bastard tried to get my salmon.”

“Oh no…” You placed both hands on your mouth, “I hope he didn't get any?”

“He allergic?” He asks, eyebrows knitting close together in what you hope to be concern. It was a little hard to discern his expression when he had his lower half of his face covered with a mask.

You shook your head as you stepped forwards, offering to take your cat back. “No, he’s not. Just didn’t want him to ruin your meal, that’s all.”

“He didn’t get any.” He bounced your fat cat on his arm like he weighs nothing. “What’s his name?”

“Meese.” You answered as seriously as you could, “Like the plural form of moose.” adding the explanation when he looks confused.

He nodded solemnly before swishing the arm with your cat on it around, “So where does Meese live?”

It took all your will power and strength to not giggle at his question, trying your best to look neutral as you pointed at the other end of the hallway.

He raised his arm so he could stare into Meese’s face, “How in bloody hell didja smell my salmon from way over there, boy?”

“I’m so sorry for the trouble.”

“Not at all.” He waved it off as if nothing that just happened was out of the ordinary, like a stranger’s cat purring up a storm on his forearm is a common occurrence, and his Salmon dinner wasn’t almost ruined by said cat.

“I should probably get back.” You took another step forwards, again offering to take him off his hands. “I can come back later after you finish dinner if you want to play with him?”

—

Harsh winds whipped at his fur collar, making it flap annoyingly against his helmet as he kept his sights on the building through his binoculars. The mission brought him and Laswell to Norway, with him lying prone out here on the twenty centimeter snow while Laswell is sitting on a chair in a heated fucking tent, probably has hot chocolate with her. With marshmallows.

His radio garbled to life, the sound half drowned by the blizzard. “Sitrep, Brav—.”

He cuts her off immediately. “Nothin’ yet. Cold as fuck, over.”

“Snippy are we?” He can hear the smile and playfulness in her tone.“Are you out of heat packs, Ghost?”

“Savin’ a couple.” He regrets not creating a snow wall and now the weather’s getting to him. Soap would’ve laughed at his stupidity if he was here with them.

The thought punched him in the gut, a shiver washed over him as the thought of his best friend loomed heavy over his psyche.

“See anything interesting, Ghost?”

What the actual fuck is Laswell on about.

He’s never been close with Laswell, as she’s usually paired up with Price and Gaz. On the past few missions she’s in his ear, he’s never been on the direct receiving end of her casual jabber and Ghost felt a little awkward joking around with someone as high rank as Laswell. He wishes he has Gaz’s easy personality and openness right now, that man even cut through his defences like a lightsaber on butter.

He adjusted his binoculars and zoomed out a little bit to get a better look around the compound to find something to humour his superior. There’s a wooded area on the right, and a frozen over body of water on the left, a derelict civilian jeep sitting all by its lonesome in the middle of said lake. It made him smile the first time he saw it, because it’s the kind of thing he would’ve started or participated in if he worked in this god-forsaken place.

A harmless betting pool. Guess what date—and maybe time—would the jeep sink into the water, and win a couple rations, or chocolate bars maybe. Perhaps cash if they trust each other enough. Whatever prick tied up inside the jeep would just be an added bonus. The perfect pastime that could initiate an investigation.

Just as he thought about people he would love to stuff in a sinking car, a movement at the far edge of the clearing caught his eye. There were two of them, a slow-moving large animal with a smaller version of it by its side.

“Didn’t know meese exist out here.” He spoke up.

“Can you repeat that, bravo?”

“Meese. Thought they were native to Canada or North America.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

The cold plummeted his patience for Laswell. He’s trying his damnedest to sound neutral. “Moose, the animal. Like elks but ugly. Saw two of ‘em.”

Laswell had seemingly ignored his observation, the two animals he spotted had long walked away when Laswell’s voice came through his ear piece again, “Ghost?”

“Copy.”

“The plural of moose is still moose. It’s not like one goose and a couple of geese. For them it’s one moose and two or more of them would still be moose.”

“What?”

“Don’t know how else to tell you, Bravo.” He heard the start of a garbled laughter before Laswell cuts herself off out of respect. She started a moment later, “Who told you it was meese?”

The cat. The girl with the cat messed with him.

“Nobody. Thought they work the same way.”

This time Laswell laughed in his ear, purposefully turning on the radio so he could hear it.

Oh, you’re definitely getting pranked back for making him look stupid in front of his handler.

[shinysamurott9]

2024 Games: Pokemon Scarlet

This is certainly a weird game for me to look at. This wasn't a game I went into with much of any negative bias, unlike Sword, where I skipped it due to the negativity surrounding the game at the time, I did actually buy Scarlet on day 1. But I didn't get too far into it before falling off because of other stuff. So I ended up sitting on it for over a year until now as I needed to complete the game to get the ribbons and marks needed to complete my Ribbon Master Quest. And what I got from it was one of the strangest games I've played yet one I've enjoyed a lot. This is gonna be another really long read so keep that in mind.

So when I initially picked up the game I didn't so that much in terms of Game progression. What I did do however, beyond the basic intro stuff leading up to the school, was at the very start of the game when I saw a Riolu at the edge of a cliff and was like "hey I wanna catch that" but I couldn't get over because I didn't have Korraidon yet. But my experience with Legends Arceus kicked in and came the thought of trying to throw a ball to initiate a battle from the other side of the cliff. Turns out this idea got me way more than I bargained for because doing this warped me to the other side of the gap, letting me break out of the area I was supposed to be and explore the whole region before ever entering the school. I shit you not by the time I was done I had almost half the pokedex and a lvl 40 Skeledirge. It was incredibly funny ngl.

But after that when I eventually got back on track I basically just did the remaining intro stuff until you were set free to explore. At which point I wasn't really feeling it, so I put the game down. DLC flew by, stuff happened and it all led up to a couple weeks ago when I had to pick it up again to complete my Ribbon Masters. I initially didn't really vibe with the game. My first day back playing it was basically just me wandering aimlessly, avoiding the main objectives because I wanted to put together a more substantial team beyond Skeledirge and Tinkatuff and I also just wasn't really feeling any of the mons I had in the box. I also do tend to make a conscious effort to use team members I haven’t used before, but a lot of more interesting stuff available in Paldea were mons I had used before. I think it's a combination of this, almost the entire dex being available to you from the outset if you really want it and me being slightly overwhelmed by that that led to this feeling.

This train of thought hilariously led me to awakening and actually catching Chien fucking Pao with no badges, though I never actually ended up using it due to not beating all the gyms first so it was disobedient til near the end of the game.

This first session ultimately ended when I went to take on Great Tusk and subsequently capturing it. I opted to do the Teal Mask DLC from here, this is where the game started to pick up for me. It was a whole new area to explore, tons of new mons to find and use and a nice little side story to get invested in. By the time I was done I was way happier with the team I was using, including a random full odds shiny, so that was awesome.

The Teal Mask was also where the story really started to click with me I think. SV story is very much a character focused one, with the plots mainly being centered around how the player character helps and interacts with the other characters around them. And to complement that, SV probably has one of the best main casts of human characters in the series. Teal Mask brings in Carmine and Kieran who I both really like. Kieran needs Indigo Disk to be fully discussed but most of Carmine's character is here.

I really like her, she has a really good character design and her character arc, while short, is compelling. She goes from someone who is, almost xenophobic for lack of a better term to someone who grows far more accepting as she helps you recover the masks from the Lousy Three. She's hard on Kieran, in a way that I feel like she regrets as they drifted apart on Indigo Disk, but she does care about him. She does also have a bit of smug bastard energy that I do enjoy when it's done right.

Teal Mask also has... H e r

I'm gonna be real here, I think Ogerpon is genuinely the best legendary we've gotten in general, which is saying a lot in a generation that knocks it out of the park in that regard. Her design is simple but adorable, she has one of my favourite stories of any legendary, not just her backstory but also how she bonds with you and how that plays into Kieran's arc, and her gimmick with the masks is incredibly fun to use in a playthrough. Especially so if you play like me with a rotating team of more than 6, Ogerpon can slot in anywhere with how you can change her type to fill any holes you might have in terms of types.

I think Kitakami was really what I needed to get myself in gear and get back into the game. When I got back to the main game, the path I was inclined to follow most was the Titan path with Arven. This was partially for practical reasons as that's how you upgrade Koraidon, but also because of Arven.

I think Arven's story is amazing. He starts out as kind of a dick, pawning Koraidon off on you and wanting nothing to do with it. But you come to learn this is more from frustration towards his mom, feeling like she cared more about it and her research in Area Zero than him growing up. And also because she's given him basically no help with his current goal, healing his partner Mabosstiff. In a series that focuses on all these grand adventures, which this game definitely still has mind you, Arven is incredibly down to earth. At the end of the day he's just a guy who wants to help his sick dog, which is incredibly relatable.

To get a little personal here, I've basically spent my whole life around dogs. We've had plenty across my family growing up. Of course, most of them passed away as I grew up. They were treated well, it's just how it goes. But it does suck, seeing them grow old as their health deteriorates. So I completely understand Arven going so far to help Mabosstiff doing literally everything he can to help save him. And at the very end, when you get the last Herba Mystica, Arven takes a breather. He seems almost resigned, with motions that feel like he's saying he's done all he can do, and now he can only wait and let whatever happens happen.

There are very few things in anything that make me very emotional, but seeing Mabosstiff get up and bring his pokeball to Arven, and Arven being so overjoyed seeing him healthy again, genuinely gets me a little teary eyed. It's genuinely one of the sweetest scenes in all of pokemon. I think the titans path is also helped overall by having the most ties to the final story, it leading into the reason we go down to Area Zero to begin with, thereby giving it an edge in importance over the other two paths.

Speaking of the other two paths, I think they're also pretty solid.

I actually ended up liking Team Star a bit more than I expected. I like that ultimately they just boil diwn to friend group who found solidarity in each other. But they went too far and were too stubborn to back down, because they don't feel like the school did anything to fix their issues. So Penny has to have you step in to dismantle the whole thing so they don't seriously harm their futures. It's a neat story honestly. Not sure how I feel about their postgame side story. It's neat helping them get back on track with things, I think my main issue is that some of them are hard to recognise. Like Mela and especially Eri look like completely different people. One thing I do really like about Team Star though is all their music is canon and composed by Giacomo. It's genuinely really cool. Especially imagining him just going off when he made Penny's one.

The gym path was probably my least favourite of the three paths. It's not bad by any means, it's just the typical song and dance we've come to expect from pokemon at this point. I do enjoy most of the gym leaders, they're fun with plenty of personality. Iono and Larry were personal highlights for me. My issue is that I think the gym path highlights a notable issue with how the game doesn’t really lean into it's open world structure very well. Despite a major selling point being you can do the badges in any order, there still is a set order to do them with the levels they're at. While I think it's a good idea for the start of the game, with some badges being objectively easier than others, I feel like this structure would benefit a lot by having weaker gyms scale up to match where you are if you beat a later badge first. Say you beat Larry first. You could then have Katy, Brassius, Iono, and Kofu scale up in levels to match whoever would be fighting next, so you don't just steamroll everything below the gym you beat.

The real highlightof the gym path is unquestionably Nemona. I think she's a really interesting take on the typical rival in pokemon. Instead of going on the same journey as you, she's already become a champion. She is a savant in terms of battling and she worked hard to get to that point, it's like a hyperfixation for her. But she's reached a point where she's far beyond any of her peers and it leaves her almost alienated from them cause no one else is as into battling as her. It's an interesting way to take the phrase "It's lonely at the top".

That's of course where you come in. She follows you on your journey, starting fresh with a new team, even intentionally picking the starter weak to yours for an extra challenge, I love how they actually have a reason for it this time. All the while along the way she helps you to get stronger offering advice in the gyms and helping you keep sharp in battles. All so that you can become a worthy challenge for her. And when you do beat her at the end when she's not holding back, she's ecstatic because she finally has a true equal, or potentially even a new level of strength for her to work towards. It's a genuinely really cool way to handle the rival here. My one gripe is that I don't think we ever see what Nemona's original team was. Maybe she used Orthworm and Dudunsparce as she only uses them in her final fight when she isn't holding back, but everything else is from the team she trained along the way.

Then there's the final story, and the true ending of the game. Where as the other stories were focused on your friends, The Way Home is Koraidon's story. It's in the name, as the story has you delving into Area Zero, the place Koraidon came from in the first place.

Area Zero is easily a standout location in the game. It has an absolutely perfect vibe. It has this pure, untouched feel, not just as if no one has been there in a long time, it feels like somewhere people are outright not supposed to be. And the music conveys this feeling absolutely perfectly. It's especially great because it's motif is heard in other places like Tera Raid dens, and later it's subtle part of the Terrarium themes in Blueberry Academy and the Crystal Pool in Kitakami.

The vibe of the track, especially the vocal parts, give it a similar feel to stuff from the Xeno series. It's so perfect.

I think it's really interesting to me how Sada, basically the closest thing to a main antagonist this game has, is already dead when you arrive, and has been for some time. But you need to fight through to her machine to shut it down and prevent more Paradox pokemon from coming to the present. It's a pretty simple plot held up by how the characters experience Area Zero itself. All of this culminates in the final fight against Sada's AI. It's a really neat fight that is genuinely difficult. In no small part because she uses exclusively Paradoxes, many of which you could literally have never encountered at this point, giving you an unknown element to contend with. The battle concludes with you taking down her Koraidon with the pokemon you've bonded with throughout the entire game, the one pokemon not affected by Sada's pokeball lock due to technically being owned by her, your own Koraidon, who got you this far to begin with. It's a genuinely great moment as Koraidon overcomes it's fear and takes down it's counterpart who drove it from Area Zero to begin with.

This concludes the main plot, with an Ed Sheeran Jumpscare for some reason, but the story does continue in the Indigo Disk where you become a transfer student for Blueberry Academy. Blueberry is an absolutely fantastic location. The Terrarium is really cool area to mess around in, with tons of new pokemon to find and use, the blueberry Quests are a great addition too. On paper they seem like busy work, but they're so easy to passively complete with solid rewards that they make for a good thing to do in between objectives in the Terrarium. Which really helps for the other main draw of Indigo Disk, the League Club.

I think the League Club is a super underrated part of the DLC. There's a bunch of stuff to do with it by customising the room itself, developing the Item Printer, a great addition in itself, and upgrading the biomes in the Terrarium, letting you get all the starters from Gen 1 - 8, genuinely really cool. The best part of the League Club though is all the character interactions. Initially you'll only meet the BB League E4 in there. But as you play through you'll get the ability to invite basically every notable character in the game there and eventually Carmine and Kieran will appear there too. It's great for fleshing out their characters, and also facilitates special interactions between characters who wouldn't get the chance to meet otherwise.

I love all the little Easter Eggs and references in this DLC too. There's the League Club rooms, specifically monochrome and futuristic, being massive call backs to Unova, each of the biomes being references to old locations like The cliff biome referencing the Nature Preserve, The Savannah Biome references the Kanto Safari Zone, and the Coastal Biome explicitly references Alola. Idk if the Polar Biome references anything, maybe Mt Lanakila? And the Meloetta event? Which requires you to open the camera app with the sepia filter? An amazing call back to the guy from Castelia who remembered Meloetta's Relic Song in Sepia Colored Memories.

And now I get to the story of Indigo Disk. Just as the main game did with Nemona, the DLC went a really interesting direction with the rival trope. You first meet Kieran in Kitakami and while things start out well, your encounter with Ogerpon puts a rift between you and him. He always had an affinity with the Ogre and wanted to meet it for so long, and when he finally meets her, Ogerpon doesn't trust him, despite hearing about her story and admiring it his whole life, she favors you. All the while everyone around him seeks to exclude him by hiding the truth about Ogerpon's story. Even when he goes the extra mile and reveals the true story to the village, leading them to finally accept her after decades, potentially centuries of them rejecting her and her former partner, she still favors you, leading you to fight him for who gets Ogerpon, which you do eventually win.

This kind of breaks Kieran, feeling like you took his place in his story. And in the time between then and Indigo Disk, he kind of goes off the wall a little. dedicating everything to becoming stronger all just to beat you, even becoming Champion of the BB League in the process. But in turn he starts lording over the other members, kicking out anyone he deems too weak despite how arbitrary that might be. This man is literally going insane, twitching about and smiling like a maniac. Part of it is just an act but it's hard to say how in his own head he is.

And when you do eventually fight him, he has an absolutely busted team even including competitive monsters like Incineroar and Grimmsnarl. Yet despite that it's a team that fits him so perfectly. I love when they delve into characters with the details behind their teams, like N using new pokemon from the surrounding area each time you fight him or Ghetsis Hydreigon knowing Frustration and actively hurting itself with every attack. Kieran's team is absolutely perfect in this regard. Every one of his pokemon says something about him all the while putting up one hell of a fight. That's another thing, I genuinely love that that this DLC actually puts up a challenge. BB Academy is called this elite battle school and the trainers sell that idea very well. Every trainer actually uses held items and have actual strats for the most part. The bosses actually have full teams of 6 which is shockingly rare when you're not looking at Champions for some reason.

Once you take down Kieran he and Carmine accompany you to the deepest depths of Area Zero to help Briar search for Terapagos. The under depths are also a fantastic location atmosphere wise and probably the best visual treat the game has to offer. Kieran's encounter with Terapagos is genuinely great, how it's just this tiny little guy that goes up to you because it's the first thing it sees. But Kieran's in such a bad headspace as it is, and after what happened with Ogerpon the very notion that he'd lose another legendary to you causes him to freak out so hard that he immediately Master Ball's Terapagos, which was genuinely fantastically foreshadowed by a Master Ball being the prize for champions in the BB League.

The Terapagos fight is neat enough, very funny that it can outright cheat to kill Carmine's Sinistcha and Kieran finally jumping in to help is great. Terapagos as a legendary is interesting in it's inspiration. It's possibly based on Lonesome George, the last Pinta Island tortoise of the galapagos islands. Much like George, Terapagos is seemingly the last of it's kind and despite internally having a 50/50 gender ratio, the Terapagos in the underdepths is always male. Honestly it's wild that a pokemon that can just casually manipulate time and become the source of terastalization used to be a regular species of pokemon.

That being said it's also very vague about what it and the terastal phenonmenon are supposed to be. It can time travel to some extent which is definitively shown with the secret scene at the crystal pool, but also there's all the weirdness with the paradox mons. Some seem to be genuine ancestors to present mons like Roaring Moon but also stuff like Brute Bonnet which just make no sense to have existed millions of years ago. I also find it strange this same phenomenon allows for pokemon to channel different types which is a kind of random pair of traits for terastalization tbh.

Speaking of, the Stellar Type. It's weird. Defensively you basically don't change at all bar gaining a weakness to Stellar Type moves, all three of them. Offensively however, you gain a power boost for every move type, 2x for the users' regular types and 1.2x for everything else, but unless the user is in a Tera Raid or is Terapagos, it only gets that boost once per type per battle. It's kind of underwhelming for something that is supposed to be using every type at once, and feels weirdly outclassed by normal terastalization in most situations.

Once you beat Terapagos, there are two major things available to do afterward. The first is the aforementioned Crystal Pool event, which has Terapagos bring Sada back in time.As a result of her conversation with you, you become inadvertently responsible for Koraidon's name, giving her the white book that led her to the underdepths in the first place and with the right dialogue options, you give her the idea for the AI, effectively making the entire game one giant bootstrap paradox. I think it is actually a pretty neat idea honestly. And it fits pretty well with all the paradoxes in the game already.

Then of course there's the secret third dlc chapter, Mochi Mayhem.

Mochi Mayem is pretty interesting though I have mixed feelings on it. It's a special third DLC focusing on Pecharunt who is the Mythical Pokemon for Gen 9. What I like is that it seems to be a return to form for mythical pokemon in game. After three whole generations of mythicals just being handed to you by a pokemon center guy, Pecharunt actually has a proper event in game that has you catch it yourself. Mochi Madness is also far more elaborate than any of the previous mythical events having a whole extra story that nicely ties up the main game, Ogerpon and Kieran storylines. It's a fun little story that gives us some great interactions between the characters. On that front it's especially nice to see Kieran and to a lesser extent Carmine interact with the main game trio after the two groups being cleanly seperate for the game before now. While I do enjoy all of this, I do have two notable issues with it.

1: Pecharunt

Now I like Pecharunt. It's essentially the trio master for the loyal three, their equivalent of Arceus or Regigigas for comparison. I think it has a neat design and story but here's the issue with that. None of it's story was in the game. Instead Pecharunt's backstory was revealed in a short animation uploaded to pokemon's YouTube. This video revealed Pecharunt was under the care of an old couple who loved it dearly, but, wanting more of their affection, it fed them it's binding Mochi to secure that for itself. But in turn, Pecharunt's possessive nature turned the couple into the worst versions of themselves, making them greedy and seemingly only having Pecharunt around because it would bring them what they wanted. Turning what seemed like genuine care into something far more superficial. This is what sent Pecharunt to Kitakami to take Ogerpon's masks, and we know how that turned out.

It's not that this is a bad story, quite the opposite honestly it's a pretty good one that explores how despite Pecharunt having a lot going for it, with a loving family and comfortable home, it's own toxic traits ended up leaving all that a shadow of what it was. But it all comes back to that one issue that it isn't in the game itself. Now look, I'm a Mega Man fan, I'm more than familiar with important or beneficial information or stories being tucked away in external sources, many of which are far more obscure and inaccessible than a YouTube video. But I do wish they included at least part of this somewhere in the game itself. As it is Pecharunt basically has no story presence beyond being the present threat for the story at hand and being the master of the Loyal Three, a logical assumption with its music and use of the toxic chains.

The other issue however is not actually to do with the the story itself but rather how it's accessed.

2: Mystery Gift

The most common and understandable criticism of mythical pokemon is that they are limited by design. In the past they have always been available exclusively through limited time events available through Mystery Gift. On the surface Pecharunt actually seems to be an improvement in this area. It's distributed the same way but at this point in time, there is no definitive end date for the distribution and that is good. But I'm not sure how long that is going to last, while that isn't an issue right now, eventually the servers it uses will almost definitely go offline. Maybe that's just because that's something I'm thinking about more with the recent closure of 3ds and Wii U online servers, but idk, that eventual but pretty realistic possibility rubs me the wrong way. In this case I think it's especially egregious due to the fact that unlike other mythical events, there is more content than just the mythical event locked behind the Mythical Pecha Berry. Once you beat Mochi Mayhem, Carmine and Kieran will start appearing in the League Club and you gain the ability to invite Arven, Penny and Nemona as special instructors. So without access to the berry, you lose access to all of their interactions in the club room, their true final rematches and their special trade mons, something you definitely want to be aware of if you want a Paldean Tauros, Sinistcha or anything from the Skwovet, Eevee or Applin families with the partner ribbon. To be fair, this logic could well be applied to the DLC as a whole but that at least could still be accessed via cartridges that have it built in.

Before going into the final conclusions on the game as a whole here's some miscellaneous stuff I couldn't really mention before now.

The Partner Ribbon: A massive part of the League Club that I glossed over was that it is the gateway to postgame rematches with every character that can be in the room. That alone is fantastic but if you interact with a charater in the clubroom enough times They'll trade you a pokemon with the newly added partner ribbon, which when it's assigned as the mon's title, they'll be sent out as "Drayton's Duraludon", "Kieran's Applin", "Nemona's Tauros" etc. It's really neat for ribbon collectors honestly. I hope this becomes a staple for future titles, it'd be really cool for stuff like N's pokemon if we ever get BW2 Remakes that properly reimplement them.

I appreciate the new evolutions in this game. Some are kind of odd and arguably unnecessary, like Kingambit or Archaludon, but I still like them. A lot were definitely well deserved like Dudunsparce and Farigiraf.

Continuing Gen 8's train of thought, it is incredibly easy to properly optimize a pokemon for competitive play, it's certainly worked, I'm more interested in competitive than ever. The changes to Ability Patches letting you change between normal and Hidden Abilities freely, Hyper Training now only requiring a pokemon to be level 50, and the easy availability of however many bottle caps and vitamins you need letting you train a pokemon however you want in the span of like 10 minutes tops all help with this. The mirror herb in particular is a fantastic addition here too, letting you essentially copy egg moves from one pokemon onto another meaning you can even get otherwise unavailable moves onto a pokemon. I've already made extensive use of it to get stuff like Sacred Sword on my Samurott or Fake Out on my shiny Incineroar from Wonder Trade (Thanks Evil Cal Zone). Effectively any pokemon can be made optimal for competitive use at this point, and relatively quickly too. Really the only thing you don't have control over is getting lower IVs, which realistically you'd only want for speed if you plan to run a Trick Room team, which to be fair is a somewhat valid critique as I can say from experiencing it on both sides that Trick Room is a very powerful strategy. Everything else though? You're good. If a pokemon you're attached to from your playthrough is good for the team you want to run, you are completely able to build it almost however you want and that is fantastic.

Union Circle is one of the single best multiplayer mechanics ever implemented in a pokemon game. It's already a lot of fun to mess around with your friends in the world itself, but it is also fantastic on a functional level as with the exception of the Box Legends and the DLC Paradoxes, a Scarlet player can naturally catch every violet version exclusive and vice versa. It reminds me a lot of BW2's key system that let players access select version exclusive content like the Regis or White Forest/Black City. For better or worse, version exclusives probably aren't going away any time soon, so if they are to stick around, Union Circle is a fantastic way to handle it.

There are also some miscellaneous negatives as well unfortunately.

The technical issues. It cannot be denied when discussing SV that on a technical level, it is a trainwreck. To be fair to it, it is nowhere near as bad as it was at launch, I never encountered anything too crazy, but it's still not great. Graphical bugs are everywhere, it is very common for pokemon to go into their low detail models and low frame rate animations despite being very close, there's a lot of pop in and the game lags a lot in areas where it really shouldn't, like menus. I distinctly remember going to the Peachy's shop in Kitakami and the game just straight up freezing for a solid minute as it tried to load the menu. A lot of people attribute this to the game being rushed as a result of the strict dev schedules pokemon games are subject to, and that is part of it no question. One thing I will always be firm on is that there was absolutely no need for this game to come out the same year as Legends Arceus. That game could have easily carried pokemon's holiday release with SV coming out the November after. Both games definitely would have benefitted from the extra time. That being said I think attributing these issues just to the tight schedule is oversimplifying it somewhat. I feel like these issues are a result of a perfect storm of variables in tandem with this. To Gamefreak's credit this was a pretty ambitious game for what they've typically done and something they've clearly been building to with SwSh and LA, but that also means that they are likely inexperienced with this kind of game. Combine that with the fact that this game would have started development in 2020, smack in the middle of a major pandemic, which undeniably affected the output of almost all game development studios? It does make sense that it turned out this way when all of these variables are considered. I'll be clear that I have no idea on the specifics that go on internally with Gamefreak during development, I'm only making the best assumptions I can with what I already know and very surface level research. I do hope that with future releases something like this can be avoided. Pokemon Z seems like it could be a step in the right direction being slated for 2025 and I do recall an article discussing how even the CE of the Pokemon Company acknowledged they may be going way too fast with their output and that changes could be considered. Granted being the head of a massive company like that, his word should rightfully be taken with a grain of salt. But still, it I think there is room for a little optimism at this point.

I think Shiny Pokemon were handled pretty poorly this go around. Shiny Hunting is one of my favourite things to do in pokemon so this aspect is particularly important for me. For the third time now shinies appear in the overworld which I have no problem with. But unlike previous instances like Let's Go or LA, shinies are not accompanied by any special particle effect or sound effect on spawn, instead they are just there and it is up to you to notice. On paper this honestly does not sound that bad but as many hunters know there are a disgusting amount of shinies that have barely any change or the changes are very subtle. This is awful for hunting in this game and requires you to be very aware of everything that spawns if the shiny you're looking for doesn't change much.

On the note of subtle shinies, it is an especially big issue for Gen 9. There are so many shinies that barely change for no good reason and it feels like there are far more than any game before now. For example:

Tatsugiri on paper is ok, but the Yellow form's shiny is orange which creates confusion between it and the normal orange form.

All of the future Paradoxes have a chrome color palette which is a mixed bag. It would be a fine color on paper, if not a little boring because they're all the same, but several future paradoxes already have chrome in their color palette leading to the shiny not changing much. Iron Treads is the worst offender but others like Iron Moth or Iron Boulder are pretty bad for this too.

There are of course the several shinies who just barely change for no good reason, making them incredibly difficult to notice in game, either from the lighting or just because the pokemon is so small to begin with. But none of that compares to:

Like come on what the fuck is this? I don't even know what to say about this like, someone saw Gholdengo, changed the color of it's grooves and just called it a day? I really don't like using this word in regard to game development or design but this is just lazy. It's less than that really because this honestly feels like they went out of their way to make a bad shiny. Like you could have just made it like silver or copper or literally any noticeable change to the gold and that would have been way better. But no, just the barely visible grooves. What is even the point of giving it a shiny at that stage?

Though honestly you could argue Gholdengo's doesn't matter that much because:

Shiny Locks! They are arguably the worst they've ever been. I have and always will, despise this mechanic. There is almost never a good reason for preventing a pokemon from being shiny if it is catchable. Recent games have been very bad for shiny locks. This list includes the starters, which is a god awful decision, arguably the worst mons to shiny lock, the various titans, all wild Gimmighoul for some reason, all gift pokemon except for Salvatore's Meowth, and all legendaries, including the ones brought back in the DLC. That last one in particular is awful as a large batch of returning legendaries has become standard implementation mid generation since ORAS, and we've always been allowed to hunt them, so seeing that changed is a really bad precedent for future games. The Pokemon Company know full well that a significant portion of their playerbase enjoy shiny hunting. It's a side of the fandom that is more acknowledged than ever with the official Twitter even recently putting out a very comprehensive guide on all the ways to boost shiny odds. So I really don't understand what they have to lose by not letting us hunt this stuff, it's not like they're doing anything with those unavailable shinies anyway. Literally none of the Gen 9 legendaries have received shiny distributions yet, hell we're still waiting for most of the Gen 8 ones. Imagine how cool it would be to hunt a shiny Koraidon and ride it during your playthrough, or hunting the gift Sinnoh egg and getting a random shiny Sinnoh Starter or even hunting the Meloetta event. So many cool hunts that we just aren't allowed to do because GameFreak said no. This is absolutely not a dealbreaker but it is a really annoying practice that I wish they would just stop doing.

All that being said, I think that about covers my thoughts on Pokemon Scarlet and Violet by extension. There may be more to say, such as how one could criticize how important the DLC could be to having a fully experience with how the game is lacking in some areas, namely post game content without it, effectively making an already expensive €60 game into an over €90 game, the lack of a battle facilty or the general quality of the pokemon roster this time around but I think I've said my piece.

I think overall this game gets a bad rep. One that isn't entirely undeserved. It has many issues which exist for a number of reasons, be they technical, structural or narrative, and those should be critiqued. But that also means a lot of the good parts of this game get overlooked or underappreciated. It's strong enough that I honestly think that if you just fixed even just the technical issues, this would be one of the best pokemon games. But even as it is I can't say I hate this game. I still enjoyed it quite a lot actually. I think given the way recent releases have been experimenting with open area type gameplay, this style of pokemon is likely going to be the new norm. If so I hope they do take a proper look at what SV did both right and wrong to properly refine it. We can only wait and see on that front, with how much cynicism has taken root in the pokemon community, I hope I can be right on that front.

As for where this game ranks on my ongoing tier list of games, I think smack in the middle of B is a good place to put it with how much I enjoyed the game.

[arigatonamuse]

continuing with my A3! re-read, this week it was time for

Act 3 - Bad Boy Portrait (pt1)

this re-read really solidified their arc as my fave, i apologise in advance for how long this is gonna be

warnings: i will vaguely discuss violence this time around, as well as call Banri names (i show my love for him that way)

Chapter 1

aight here we go two words in and i’m already overwhelmed with feelings

i am normal about Banri Settsu i swear

can’t bring myself to press play because i am having so many feelings already

deep breaths deep breaths

this is totally not stirring any emotion inside me wdym

i don’t think i’d paid that much attention to his voice back when i first read this but whew he sounds so… dead inside when he’s narrating all this? like there’s no emotion to it but there’s some sort of… heaviness in it? that we don’t normally hear in Banri now that i know the context behind the portraits, i am trying to pay attention to (and understand) the tone because Banri’s acting this monologue out, the voice and every word are intentional so he’s most likely portraying how he felt about all this with his voice and i’m feeling things (don’t take this at face value, i’m not good at understanding tone)

ah these lines [comment redacted bc i still have got some self respect tyvm]

oh this bitch is so depressed

the way that a mention of Juza Hyodo is what changed Banri’s life but also what immediately made me perk up and smile

the way Banri makes a point to say that he’s not “buddy-buddy” with… basically anyone pre-Mankai is really telling about his own loneliness but also about his not wanting to change that loneliness

he really sounds so dead inside, more so when he’s acting out his lines of dialogue, i can’t 

“a quick hunt” is such an interesting choice of words it reveals so much about his expectations of this fight (it was gonna be quick and ofc easy) and about how he was so sure he was gonna be the winner, but also about how he’s the one seeking this whole thing out in a completely one-sided way and how this “hunt” continued into Mankai and still seeped into Banri and Juza’s early relationship

ah yes, the exchange that started my own obsession with this fucker i’d say more about this but i’d just be quoting myself here so uhhhh yeah

okay i did NOT point this out in my essay but now i’m thinking about it and his explicit use of the word alone (i’m pretty sure i heard a hitori there) is making me feel like that’s important something something the fact that he’s alone with the incapacity of understanding himself and how that means it’s harder for him to process… himself? Maybe? i don’t wanna get ahead of myself but i’m kinda connecting this to my “‘til this moment i never knew myself” pseudo essay on the impact of Juza’s portrait in Banri, he NEEDS the company and coaxing of Izumi and to see Juza’s portrait, to see his foil as he is, until Banri can finally start to figure himself out or maybe i’m just reading too much into a single word but hey, who am i if not the person who reads too much into anything and everything Banri?

the smug ass smile i just gave with Banri’s loss 

not me getting all smiley and giggly at just hearing Juza

I SHOULD NOT BE ACTING THIS SMUG AT A COUPLE LINES BUT JUST READING ABOUT HIS DEFEAT AND THOUGHTS ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL SO EXCITED BECAUSE THIS BITCH HAS NO IDEA OF WHAT’S ABOUT TO COME

yeah well what’d you expect dude? for him to keep fighting you despite not being able to move? or what else were you hoping for? the fight’s done lmao

there’s a first time for everything also no one can’t tell me that the taste of defeat is not important to Banri, not just because it led him to Mankai and blablabla we all know the rest, but because it showed to him that there was more to life, more to experience and more to live in general

yeah his obsession with beating Juza kinda proves my point… the two weeks it took him to heal he finally had something to look forward to, fucked up as it was

the way Juza’s dismissal of Banri wanting a rematch is so important and so telling for them both

god, Juza could see right through him from the start, he saw the empty, no ambitions Banri and called it as it was right away i can only imagine how much that stung Banri back then

something something, the same thing that made Banri actually feel something for once getting absolutely no reaction from Juza

they’re so narrative foils i swear

eheheheh it’s coming

Banri your obsession may be getting out of hand

thank you, Matsukawa, for forcing him in, he needed that push 

Chapter 2

oh i’d forgotten Taichi was the first one to arrive to the audition considering that he’s the only one who we don’t know how he got there (yet) should’ve been suspicious the first time around huh?

OMIMI’S HERE 

yes and it’s one of my fave nicknames in all of Mankai (<- likes repetition)

i’d forgotten how lost he acted with Kazu at first but tbh? same, Omi, i feel you

something something the wanwan duo hitting it off through their personas while not knowing the other’s putting up a front

Taichi’s reaction to Yuki roasting him is SO funny i’d forgotten how he’d immediately gone into simp mode 

it can still happen, Taichi! don’t close yourself to the possibilities lol

I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN ABOUT OMI’S EXPLANATION he sounds so unsure with the “i guess” you can tell this man still has a lot of shit to process and i’m gonna cry just at thinking about it

Izumi, Omi’s not gonna traumadump about his dead best friend during his audition

JUZA MY BELOVED HE’S HERE NOW AND I CAN’T STOP SMILING

heheh Muku recognising his cousin :3

aaaaaaah the start of Juza pushing Muku away (for what he considers to be the best) and i’m emo already ough his words sting so hard ;-; i’m so sorry Mukkun

KAZU NOTICING AND GOING TO COMFORT MUKU RIGHT AWAY

THE WAY BANRI LITERALLY HAD TO BE PUSHED IN SDKBVHDFBV boy needs a push in more than one way for him to get into this tho

Banri really had a one track mind with fighting Juza lol, all his bitching to Matsukawa stopped the second he saw him and he went right to confront him instead lol

i’m so sorry Izumi… you’re not gonna go back to not being Fight Club for a while now

that’s a way to put it, Omimi

yes, Sumi, you’re right, Juza has the prettiest triangle eyes <3

i was gonna comment on Juza and Banri fighting but if i start doing that, we’re gonna be here for like a month so i’ll only mention it when i consider it Important

Chapter 3

Misumi’s too cute

okay i said i was gonna talk about it but the fact that Juza could’ve easily just pushed Banri away but he didn’t because that’s how hard he’s avoiding fights with him, he won’t “throw the first punch” even though this asshole’s been harassing him for a while now, he could beat him just as easily as he did in the past but he doesn’t want to be that person anymore so he won’t even try and aaaaaaaaaaah

kdjsbvhsdvbd that’s a way to put it

SAKYO IS HERE

Also i love how Izumi has come to care so much about Sakyo’s love for the theatre, so much that she wouldn’t start the audition without him ;w;

god i love akigumi so much they’re MY punks

hm do you think Taichi was maybe rethinking what he had to do just by seeing who his potential troupemates were? bc i think he has reasons to be scared for real here instead of just acting inoffensive

OMI MY BELOVED he sure knows what he’s talking about, isn’t he?

hell yeah Izumi, expose Sakyo for how caring he is

awwww is the tsun feeling a bit too seen?

Omi’s tone is so neutral in the audition, one must wonder how much time and effort he’s invested in keeping his tone (and all of him) under control after… y’know so it makes sense he doesn’t really know how to use his tone to act yet, his whole act for the past couple years has been suppression 

heheh i love how easily Izumi sees through Taichi, even if she can’t put her finger to it yet

something something while Omi’s struggle comes from not putting himself out there, Taichi is now starting to try to hide the actor part of himself and struggling with keeping it hidden

Chapter 4

oh Banri really just wants to be a nuisance here, huh? he had no reason for saying he’d go first for the audition other than not letting Juza go? i’m once again reminded of the anime, where we see Banri volunteering as the leader as soon as he sees Juza hesitate to volunteer himself

i hate him so much i hate him i hate him i hate him why is he like this (i would’ve acted out the dialogue with the same intonation, pauses and additions like laughter)

why, thank you, Izumi

huh this line right here… i’m now thinking about Fallen Blood and how Banri’s acting is explored and approached there

oh Juza… my beloved daikon Juza… i’m so emo hearing his acting here, he’s come so far and worked so hard and aaaaaaaaah ;w;

Banri fuck off

and there’s the passion and determination that make Juza the heart of akigumi

Juza’s so fucking lovely, he’s so earnest in his plea tbh that alone makes him one of the best candidates to be part of the troupe

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING! THANK YOU IZUMI!

Sakyo saying exactly what was on my mind

i’m so sorry, Izumi

Sakyo sounds SO SOFT during his audition reading thingie ;w; i’m now thinking about how this is how he’d probs talk to his real mum and aaaaaah

Yuki, need i remind you that one of your troupemates literally broke into and squatted at your dorm AND has stolen government property?

i think one of the reasons that i am not as annoyed with Banri as i was with Tenma is that Juza can and does dish back and he can hold his own while, say, Muku just crumbles

thank you, da- i mean Sakyo

Chapter 5

i’m sorry, i know that he’s an annoying little shit at this point but i can’t help but laugh at how utterly obsessed Banri is with Juza at this point

huh i just realised we never really got a followup or a call to the parents for Banri, Juza or Taichi’s stay at the dorms it kinda makes sense with Banri given… y’know, how his family is, but now i feel robbed of hearing and reading a call with Mama Hyodo

yeah i’m not even gonna stop myself at this point, Sakyo’s such a dad, and he cares for the theatre so much and wants to help so bad he’s too cute

Omi eldest daughter syndrome?

good on you, Omi, you shouldn’t spend all your life looking after others (and yes this means at Mankai too)

Sakyo writing history right here

i’m sorry i keep smiling to myself at all the Juza-Banri bickering bc reading these makes me so nostalgic ;w;

Omimi so respectful (but also this makes me double down on him having eldest daughter syndrome)

heheh Sakyo is too cute

AAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Sakoda my beloved

i love him so much he’s so puppy

ngl i know Omi and Taichi rooming together was a “by default thing” but with how much that arrangement’s done for the two of them it kinda feels like it was meant to be

Chapter 6

heheh the start of Omi being the cook at Mankai Omi my dear, just last chapter you were talking about how he didn’t want his family to need his looking after them all the time and now you’re adding to your responsibilities in this new place

huh i’d forgotten that Juza was the one to initiate their conversation at room 104

honestly Juza’s approach to this makes it noticeable how much he respects theatre as an art, even before he ever stepped foot on the stage as an actor himself he’s annoyed at Banri following him around, yeah, but that much he can manage and ignore but joining the troupe with no interest? that’s where he finally confronts Banri

Banri’s reasoning is so funny ngl like my dude if you don’t give a shit at theatre what satisfaction are you gonna get from winning at it? is your ego really that delicate that a random win at something you don’t care about will heal having been defeated in a fight? come on

also the way Banri deflected the questions and made them about insulting Juza? this boy is a mess who’s scared of being vulnerable in any way and, once again, it shows that not even he knows what he’s thinking

oh the localisation team sure knew what they were doing here

i love Juza so much everything he says and does makes me smile like a fool bestest boy

Omi’s smile-sweat expression hurts me when he sees Banri and Juza fighting and i don’t think i understand why, not entirely at least

the way Omi just walks in and restrains Juza like it’s no big deal I’m curious about this because yeah, he was with the Wolves and all but they disbanded years ago so can he do this while being rusty? or did he somehow keep himself fighting / training?

also i find it super interesting that he restrains Juza out of the two did he somehow know that Juza was the strongest out of the two / the one who could cause more damage? or maybe he’s seen their interactions enough to know that Banri just does shit to rile Juza up so if he restrains Juza then Banri won’t be that interested in fighting at the moment? idk but i think about it often

also the fact that… yeah Banri did not have any interest in fighting Juza while restrained He did try to fight Omi for restraining Juza but not Juza himself, which is honestly so interesting to me he wants to beat Juza, yeah, but he wants it to be a real victory because that’s what his bruised ego needs (and also, maybe subconsciously, the emotions/excitement he’s been craving) which brings me back to the point of him beating Juza at theatre not being that meaningful, not yet anyway, what he craves is something that he will not get if things remain as they are

Taichi trying to drag Banri away is so cute and funny

THE ATTITUDES AFTER THE FIGHT ARE SO DIFFERENT I WANNA SCREAM

Juza is so ashamed for doing what he did while Banri craves more fight

this is SUCH a gesture of trust and now i’m having so many Juza thoughts

the way Juza can trust Omi when they’ve known each other for so little shows how ready Juza is to commit to his troupe, and also how he tends to see the good in people despite having been ostracised and hurt… basically through all of his life also him ASKING for help shows how humble he is and how he knows where he isn’t doing that well and wants to work towards improving in those areas, he’s not afraid of showing said vulnerability to someone he met a couple hours ago and who literally just restrained his wrists and aaaaaaah something something Omi proving that he could’ve hurt Juza yet Juza trusting him with this but also trusting him not to hurt him and aaaaaaaah

and here we see Omi starting to see Nachi in Juza ;w;

oughhhh the fact that Izumi assumes that Sakyo knows more about her father than herself hurts so bad

Chapter 7

oh okay we’re here already… cool just let me get some tissues real quick

i’m too scared to press play i know this is gonna hurt like a bitch

deep breaths (is 8 words into the portrait)

his opening words are brilliant and i don’t think i appreciated it enough on the first read this is a self portrait, he’s showing who he is to the audience, but he starts what’s meant to be a self introduction by saying he wishes he wasn’t himself, and that already says so much about who he IS, about his self-loathing and about the work he’s put into the portrait itself and into himself as an actor yeah, he wishes he was someone else, but he’s now starting to accept himself as he is, enough to admit these things out loud

something something we are taught to hate ourselves for our differences

the world has been so unkind to Juza and THAT’S why he wishes he was someone else, not because he didn’t like who he was (at the start at least), but because others didn’t and that led him to the fighting that now make him resent himself

i need Juza to read Frankenstein so bad i know it’d resonate with him in his soul

also i’m gonna fight his teachers like wtf what problem did they have

Juza’s story is so heartbreaking he was literally just a kid trying to exist and people had a problem with it? and began picking fights with him? and while i’d like to say that that’s an odd thing to do… is that not what every single school bully does? picks up when someone is different and then makes their life hell for it and i think its closeness to reality is one of the things that makes it so heartbreaking Juza’s just a bullied kid who fought back and got a(n even worse) reputation from it

Juza seeing theatre as salvation from… being himself will always hurt, bc what he needed to do was accept himself (and THAT’S what he learns when putting himself out on stage but y’know, not yet)

honestly i hate Juza’s teachers

i’m so glad he didn’t give up on theatre after what happened in middle school tho

oh i had NOT taken in this line in completely the first time around, but it sure does support my point Muku didn’t become someone else, he just grew more confident in himself as a person and as an actor, he’s enjoying himself with friends who know and accept him as he is and that’s why he’s “completely at ease with himself” maybe Juza knows in some degree that that’s what he wants too, bc i don’t see why he’d use those words otherwise

okay yeah at this point he DOES know that he doesn’t want to be someone else, not really

and then, after this, we go back to the self loathing sobs

I love that we see the pieces for his character development there, but they haven’t yet clicked together, there’s still work to do and it’s something that takes him a lot of time, and i love how real that feels

he says he wants to come out of his shell but he also says he wants to be someone else, anyone else and i think that’s such a complex and interesting struggle

i’m so emo about Juza Hyodo

also i have more thoughts but i don’t wanna be redundant so i’m just gonna link y’all to a lil something i’d already written about Juza’s portrait (in the anime):

screaming Juza really works so hard

Muku trying to approach Juza again ;w; and Juza not knowing how to react to that ;w;

i’m not ready for what comes next

I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN

even when i know this scene by heart it hurts me so much and both of them having it as fuel for their own self loathing makes it so much worse

sobbing sobbing so much

JUZA LOVES HIS FAMILY SO MUCH AND HE JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR THEM BUT HE DOESN’T CONSIDER HIS PRESENCE IN THEIR LIVES TO BE PART OF “THE BEST” AND I’M SO EMO

Juza my beloved, you’re ALREADY someone people should be proud of, and i’m so sorry that you can’t see it yet

Chapter 8

Banri trying to pick a fight over him and Juza choosing where to sit is so funny to me

Omi and Taichi taking separating Banri and Juza as their personal task is also so funny

huh Taichi could’ve just… not helped… he could’ve pretended to be scared or something and not helped, which would make things worse overall for the troupe which… was his goal yet he helped and now that has a whole other meaning for me

heheheh i love this part so much

Sakoda is so proud of both Sakyo’s idea and his work, it’s too cute

hmm

evhbhbcksd Matsukawa why are you like this

eheheheheh Syu-san hi~

Sakyo cares so much about this troupe, really, he has thought so much about… well everything

huh so Yukio disappeared either when Izumi was in middle school or in her first year of high school?

Chapter 9

KAMEBUNS

ksdbvhbdf Sakyo’s reaction is hilarious

kdbevhfdbvfd Kamekichi you drama queen

JUZA BELOVED i’m smiling so wide he’s so cute

Banri you have absolutely no right to say this

ngl i’m kinda curious about how exactly those taste but also i know myself and i know i wouldn’t be able to stand the sweetness

Juza’s so unbothered by everything going on around him and just enjoying his kamebuns, it’s cute

Juza you don’t have to lie about you liking sweets ;-; 

oh Omi’s such a little shit for this i love it

huh Banri could see through Juza here interesting

SAKYO YOU’RE 30 YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE AHEAD OF YOU 

OH FUCK JUZA’S HESITATION IN THE ANIME IS ALSO HERE? JUST NOT AS EXPLICIT?

Banri’s such a nuisance

AND IZUMI CONSIDERED JUZA TOO SHE SAID HE WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE EVEN AFTER BANRI STEPPED UP 

huh even when Izumi looks at him to give him the chance, he doesn’t take it i’d forgotten about this, this makes Banri becoming leader a bit less infuriating (i am not actually infuriated)

also ngl while he is the heart of akigumi, Juza’s self doubt would have been a problem for his leading, at this point of the story he’s not ready to lead a team, so despite everything… Banri WAS the better choice, huh?

see, i wanna bitch about Banri’s behaviour because it IS annoying and he’s a brat but anything i write ends up sounding / feeling insinceres so just know i’m annoyed at him

i love how Sakyo sensed Izumi’s hesitation and explained his reasoning to her heh

oh Izumi you have no idea just how much

Chapter 10

sobbing about Juza turning down the offers from Taichi and Tenma just because he doesn’t want those two to have their reputations affected by his own

i’d say something about Banri skipping but honestly i can’t fault him for it, being in classes where you already understand everything is boring and unnecessary as hell, might as well spend that time in better things (i had a rant here about the school system but that’s a rant for another day)

i’m sigh-laughing and shaking my head with a smile on my face at Banri’s explanations

OH THE TARUCHI NEO REVEAL WAS HERE?

it’s been done before and it’ll be done again, Izumi, it’s really not that big of a deal

sorry Izumi, but i’m with Banri in this one

still, i AM looking forward for the verbal beating Sakyo’s about to give him

hell yeah you tell him Sakyo

i have talked about this somewhere (maybe in my Banri Essay? But i’m not sure) but it’s so telling how Banri doesn’t say anything back to Sakyo because he KNOWS he’s right, he can’t say anything because there’s nothing he can say in his defence and it’s only after Sakyo leaves that he bitches about it but still doesn’t contradict him or anything 

honestly if i was Banri i’d just walk out the door and then go somewhere else to chill lmao (totally not talking from experience or anything wdym)

you hit the nail, Izumi

Chapter 11

sighing at Banri

heheh i love that Izumi gives Juza some special treatment, it’s what he deserves <3 she sees his passion and determination and she will recognise that as it should be

periodic reminder that Tsuzuru writes RPF

GAMER BOYS! i love that they include Citron in this scene, he deserves to be recognised as part of the gamer group ;w;

Omi taking care of the food for the first time holy shit

also something something Sakyo saying he will eat whatever because he doesn’t wanna be a burden, neither financially nor in terms of doing things for him

aww Sakyo so mean! you just said you’d eat whatever! why not curry!

Omi and Juza being the first ones to be on alert and worry about Tsuzuru older siblings behaviour

now that i’m saying it… isn’t all of (act 1) autumn troupe older brothers except for Banri?

“just passed out” guys come on, this is not normal 

as a Spanish golder century lit nerd, i will forever be upset about the localisation taking away the word “picaresque” from the title

huh i’d forgotten that Itaru offered to carry Tsuzuru to his room first he’s got to have some strength for that

why is Citron so cute ;w;

A3!EN Iconic line right here

TSUZURU’S POWERS DRIVE ME CRAZY SERIOUSLY

what was that again, Banri? something’s a “tall order” for you? huh

heheheh handcuffs incoming 

sdkbvhdfbv i love how cryptic they are about the handcuffs in the dialogue

Chapter 12

this is the second chapter in this ep names after a song (that i know) and now i’m curious

i love this CG so much i’ve been just staring at it for a couple minutes now

i’m obsessed with this chapter you guys don’t understand i know the dialogue by heart

Sumi and Kazu just commenting on the handcuff situation is so funny

Kazu so helpful <3 do you think he offered to help (at least in part) because he's scared of conflict and he saw one incoming and decided to try to avoid that?

Sumi baby… that’s not how that works he’s so cute and he’s just following Kazu’s example but it’s so funny

CHASE SCENE

i can’t stop smiling i love this chapter

Juza just jumping into action to help at any moment is so important to me

heheh they’re working together now~

i actually hadn’t paid attention to the details in this part but for once, Banri’s leading and communicating his plans, and Juza follows along because he knows they both have the same goal in mind and he is actually trusting Banri to take them there and idk that’s actually so cool to me? it’s not just that they bonded over beating that rando up, they were already working together since before they did

heheh i’m so excited for what’s coming

Banri’s so smug his smile is contagious

Banri’s so happy he finally gets to fight

honestly knowing how he is (was) with fights, this must be the most excitement he’s been feeling in a while and the fact that he has someone to share that moment with may make it better for him, given how lonely he usually is so what i’m saying is that now he has two instances in which Banri’s feeling something that’s possibly new and exciting, and both are tied to Juza fucking Hyodo

okay so they didn’t quite kill that guy, cool, i’d forgotten about that

also i think this is the first time that Juza gets praised and thanked for… this part of himself, and maybe the first time where he sees it being good for those around him right away and i’m emo now

“ONE OF MY OWN” i am feeling so very normal about this line, i’m not crying about Juza being an extremely group oriented and protective guy, i’m not crying about Juza finally having a place for himself and him protecting it however he can

and then he gets so shy and flustered at Izumi acknowledging his words i love him

i love how in sync Banri and Juza are when it comes to playfully lying about what they did to the dude it’s so funny

Sakyo so protective and caring too

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, How do I develop Te and Se as INTJ? It’s very hard for me to get into action or being disciplined enough to do what I want to do. And also a lot of Ni-Fi loop that feels horrible to be in.

I would say decide what you want to do, and come up with a step by step plan of how to do it (what needs done first, in what order, and what can you do today to start the process?) with a reasonable timeline. Often people do not take action because they’re unsure of what to do, but having a plan helps you get started. As my ISTJ mother says, “Dreams are just hopes unless you have a plan, and plans only work if you actually CARE about what you are doing enough to stick to your plan.” For example, if you want to get in shape, what time every day are you going to exercise, what routine or video are you going to use, and how long are you going to do it? “I want to get in shape” is a wish/dream. Deciding those things gives you a plan and sets you in motion. So, you need PLANS. To decide up front “I am doing this at this time” and then just doing it. Do it often enough, it becomes a habit. And so on.

One of the people I know a guy (he’s Se-dom, probably ESTP) and he has so much energy he could ‘hang out from morning til evening, go out at night, get laid with 2 girls then go to the airport at 4.30 am’ in a single day, rest one night and get back to work the next day. I was amazed how he could even do it without crashing. I would need like a whole week to recover from that. I want to know if that is even a possibility for us ENP and INJ? Being really high energy and active?

No, it isn’t. He sounds like a double-assertive/energetic type (7w8?), and as a Se-dom, the environment pumps him up whereas it drains an intuitive. An intuitive CAN be high energy if they are extroverted, but INJs are less driven and more easily overwhelmed by the environment. HOWEVER… I suspect if you really cared about what you were focusing on achieving (Fi), you would find a wealth of reserve energy within yourself to direct toward your goal (Te).

For context, I’m working toward something and that requires high amount of work and efforts. I’m living off my savings now which can last me around 6 months. I focus most of my times on meeting the prerequisite of the job I want in the future. But I feel like I am not as active as I should be. Far from it, actually. It’s really hard to be active even when you know better. Then this guy also told me to ‘get a new job already’ because I need to be active in the world and not living as a shut-in. He made a good point that I need to open my horizon more. Thing is, just motivating myself to get things done at home is hard enough. Juggling both a job/training + my own personal goal is going to be really hard to pull off. Planning and envisioning are effortless but to get my hands dirty and develop self-discipline, not so much. So, any advice is much appreciated. Thank you!

Well, for one thing, you and he are different people, with different energy levels and ambitions, so you can’t and should not compare your output to his. You will always fall short when you play the comparison game with an aggressive ESTP.

I suppose a good place to start is – is the job you are working at now part of how you are going to get to where you want to be, or is it just paying the bills? If the latter, do you think that might be contributing to your sense of apathy, because you know this isn’t taking you where you want to go? Is there another job you could get that would be taking you in the direction of where you see yourself in a few years? Getting another job needs to be a stepping stone toward the end result you want, not just “getting out there.” INJs need forward momentum, to feel like they are moving toward their ideal life. Just any job won’t cut it.

Self-discipline is indeed hard. It’s a matter of mind over body – the mind being willing and the body saying NOPE. Every book I have read on productivity says that if you go whole-hog as an undisciplined person, you will burn out because you can’t keep it up. Starting small and thinking small is where you will succeed over time. For example, I swore to myself that this year, I was going to get in shape. I started doing intense 30 minute cardio workouts in the morning and after a week, I hated it and was fighting with myself every morning to “show up.” So I decided to start a lot smaller. 10 minutes of Pilates every morning. I’ve done that for two weeks, it never feels like too much, but it actually BURNS, so I know it’s working. As I do it each morning, I think “I should do another session,” and then I think, “No, ten minutes for now. Work up to 20. Let it take time, so you crave it and are used to doing it and don’t burn out and then think ‘laying here in bed is more fun.’”

What is it you want to learn to do, and develop self-discipline around? What’s a small thing that you do toward that end every day? Let’s say you want to write a book. What’s a micro-goal to set? Write 100 words a day? Start there. Often, once you do something long enough, and commit to it, you go – this isn’t as hard as I thought, I could do a bit more (write more, exercise longer, submit my job resume to one more place…). To develop self-discipline, you need to first establish a habit, and the smaller the habit, the easier it is to DO it without hating it. Anyone can do 3 push-ups a day, or write 50 words, or make one “better” food choice. Soon, the habits become second nature and voila, you have developed self-discipline. :)

(This method works for any type, btw.)

[missegyptiana]

this week just got a whole lot worse, i always take the subway from this mall back to my school for my 5:30pm class every wednesday cause i have a morning class til 11:30am and then have nothing to do til 5:30pm, so i go to the mall to relax and work. but when i went to take the subway, they stopped all the trains due to an issue and it lasted like 15 mins and there were no buses i could go on to get to school in time, they sent buses to take us to the other stations while the issue was being fixed, but the buses got full and were late so i couldn’t go on. after all this the subway started working again so i was like fine maybe i’ll make it. i wait for the subway, for another 15 mins and then this random kid that used to go to my school starts talking to me and asking me questions about myself and my entire life and i should have just lied abt me and my name but i just wanted to cry at that point. and i didn’t know what to do. and couldn’t think of anything different to say and it turns out he was going back to campus even though he graduated last year. and then keeps talking to me the whole time til the subway shows up, and continues to do so until we get there. i realize i’m gonna miss my class so i’m already overwhelmed, and this rando keeps talking to me and i want to throw up at this point and then he asks for my social media and i lied and said i don’t have any cause he was hitting on me and he is just not it and was just WEIRD so he finally leaves me alone and then i went to go cry in the bathroom cause of all this and i know he’s gonna try and find me on insta and try and message me and i’m literally gonna go jump off a cliff at this point. like is that what i’m worth. this guy? and the other creeps? i’m literally shaking cause i’m stressed and overwhelmed. only creeps and guys who are the complete opposite of my type hit on me or stare while the guys ive liked in my life don’t even care to acknowledge my existence

[vukovich]

peculiar prompts: fuck or die, but their dicks get bigger every second

A Mounting Problem

"Don't eat those." Ron came around the bend in the trail. Draco scoffed and picked several more scarlet berries, adding them to the pile in Harry's outstretched shirt.

"They're wild cherries," Harry said.

"This," Ron swept his arm out over the lush valley, "is an old wizarding land preserve." He pointed at the thorny bush. "And those are twiggenberries, not cherries."

Draco stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry. "Are, too."

"What would you know about foraging, Malfoy? You hadn't eaten a meal outdoors until this week."

Draco scrunched his face up and mimicked Ron.

"Fine." Ron adjusted his pack and side-stepped around them. "Don't be late to the top of the rise. And don't eat those berries til you're back home. Alone."

"Yes, Father," Draco said snidely to Ron's retreating back.

Harry pretended to gag.

"Heard that!" Came Ron's voice.

--

Harry swatted a mosquito against the inside of the tent and shot Draco a triumphant grin, but Draco's attention was on the bag of berries in his lap.

"Ron said not to eat those here."

"Ron says a lot of things. I'm hungry." He crossed his outstretched legs over his sleeping bag and Harry wondered if he shouldn't hand-feed Draco.

"Someone failed to guard the camp from raccoons." Draco popped a big, glossy berry in his mouth. "And someone cost us what smelled like a wonderful crockpot of chili."

"I said I was hanging back to take a nap, and I did. I didn't know none of you latched the crockpot." Harry rolled onto his side and clicked a small lantern on. "Give me one."

Harry opened his mouth and flicked his gaze back and forth between the berries and Draco's eyes. Draco let him look like a confused fish for a few moments before selecting a berry.

They were large, for wild berries. Almost like small plums, but a bit more pointed at one end, and deep red. Draco traced it over Harry's bottom lip before shoving it in, and then followed with his fingers for good measure.

Harry grunted in surprise, but sucked Draco's fingers clean before biting into the berry. It popped open in a rush of cloyingly-sweet bubblegum, and broke against the roof of his mouth like an overripe grape. He grabbed a bottle of water from the foot of his sleeping back to dilute the overwhelming taste.

Draco smirked and shoved what had to be his fourth or fifth one into his mouth.

"You can have the rest," Harry said, capping his water and laying down.

He clicked off the light, and Draco sealed the bag and laid down next to him. Harry started drifting off almost immediately, but Draco tossed and turned.

Harry cracked an eye and was met with Draco's eyes glinting in the filtered moonlight. "Do you think they're awake?"

"Ron and Hermione?"

"No, the wampus cats. Of course Ron and Hermione."

"Probably not. I think they hiked twelve miles today. Why?"

Draco walked fingers over their sleeping bags toward Harry's chest, and then diverted southward.

"No reason..."

"They're heavy sleepers."

"Mm hm..."

Draco tugged at the drawstring on Harry's pajama bottoms. Harry bit back a smile and let him pick at the knot until Draco started muttering swear words under his breath.

Harry rolled on his back and unceremoniously shucked his pants and pajamas off, and threw his t-shirt on the pile at the foot of his sleeping bag.

He couldn't read Draco's expression, so he clicked the lantern back on. Wonderment. Draco was staring at Harry's dick in absolute wonderment. Harry was flattered, then aroused, but then mildly alarmed, because Draco just kept staring.

Harry glanced down and didn't see anything more interesting than his own erection, and still Draco watched it, and Harry watched him. But... why would he be hard already?

Harry wrapped a hand around his semi-hard dick, but his fingers only just met around it. That wasn't right.

Draco tilted his head to one side. "I think those were psychedelic berries."

"Oh, shit," Harry whispered. He worked his fist over the head of his cock, just in case this turned out to be a really good trip. "Oh... shiiiiit. How many did you eat?"

"Five?" Draco licked his lips. "Your dick looks bigger."

Harry stopped stroking. "I think it is bigger."

Harry's thumb and middle finger couldn't touch, and felt like they were actively being pushed way. The skin of his cock grew achingly tight and over-sensitive.

"Shit. What do we do?"

Draco scooted closer. "I can think of several things to do."

Panic rose a cold sweat over Harry's chest. "What should we do?"

"Again, I can think of-"

"RON!" Harry shouted.

A rustle in the other tent, followed by a groan, and "Wassit?"

Draco leaned down slowly, eyes on Harry, sneaking his mouth closer to Harry's dick and fooling no one.

"What do those berries do?" Harry shouted, then swallowed a whimper as Draco's lips spread over the head of his cock.

"The fuck you think a twiggenberry does?" Ron grumbled. An owl hooted nearby. "You didn't eat one, did you?"

"Uhm." Draco's tongue against the tight-stretched skin was already too much. "Yes."

"Guess it could be worse. You gotta get somebody to help you blow your load before your dick drains your blood supply." The owl hooted again, and it sounded rather concerned. "Doesn't work if you do it on your own."

Draco slurped enthusiastically and winked.

"Sounds like you've got it under control. And I've got ear plugs. Good thing you only ate one. G'night."

"Ron! RON!" Harry tugged Draco up by the hair. "Shit. Now what?"

Draco held Harry's gaze while he slid his tongue out and prodded Harry's dick with the tip. "Mm?"

Harry nodded and tried to relax as Draco's mouth enveloped him. He blew out a long breath and forced himself to not think about anything but the wet heat sliding over his cock. Not about dying with an enormous dick hanging out. Merlin help him if Dumbledore met him on a platform in this condition.

Draco shifted, snuck a hand in his own pajamas, and moaned around Harry's cock.

"Fuck," Harry whispered. Draco's shoulder shook as he stroked himself in time to his mouth on Harry. He moaned again, and tension build at the base of Harry's cock. "Fuck, I'm gonna come."

Draco wrapped both hands around Harry's thick length, and the pressure in his hips broke, spilling into Draco's mouth. Harry's breath shuddered out as Draco slowed, swallowed, and grinned at him.

"I've got something for you." He rose up on his knees and Harry's dick gave a feeble throb at the size of the tent in Draco's pants. "Roll over, size queen."

It wasn't that Draco wasn't well-endowed. He was... fine. But Harry's tastes ran... larger. A lot larger. Like the bludger bat of a cock Draco was wrangling out of his shorts.

Draco reached into a bag, then tossed a tube of lube on Harry's pillow. That dick was so perfect Harry could have cried. And he did.

Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Draco straddled Harry's thighs and plopped down, massive erection slapping against Harry's spent cock.

"Uhm... What's wrong?"

"I ate-" Harry sobbed. "-the chili."

"Okaayyyy..." Draco shook his head and waited for Harry to explain, but comprehension bloomed over Draco's face. "There were no raccoons?! Harry James Potter, you ate half a crockpot of chili and blamed raccoons?!"

Harry nodded and hid his face in the crook of his elbow.

"I HAD TO EAT BONER BERRIES FOR DINNER AND NOW YOUR VERY FUCKABLE ARSE IS FULL OF CHILI?!"

Harry nodded again. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, I am not putting my dick in that."

"I'm really, really sorry."

"I'll bet you are." He felt Draco's breath against his ear. "Sorry you're not getting your greedy little hole stretched open by this."

Draco pressed his cock along Harry's abdomen for emphasis. He ran his chin down Harry's jawline and sighed. "Wanker."

Harry moved his arms, sniffled, and snuck a kiss on Draco's nose before he sat back up. "I guess wanking, it is. I don't think I can fit it in my mouth."

Draco walked his knees up to Harry's waist and sat on his flaccid dick. Hard.

"I always had a theory that Parseltongues could unhinge their jaws like snakes."

Harry only half-heard Draco, because the dick sitting on his chest was fucking amazing. It was still Draco's, but huge. He would have gladly impaled himself on this beast of a dong, but no. The chili had smelled too damn good.

Draco flipped the cap on the lube open and emptied it out on what was rapidly becoming a third leg. Harry wrapped both hands around it, and the overlap of his fingers shrank as he watched.

He stroked, slow and steady, trying to keep a familiar routine in a very new situation. Draco's head lolled to the side, and his lips pressed against his own shoulder. Harry smiled softly and tightened his grip. Even full of dick-enhancing berries, Draco couldn't come without his lips against bare skin, even if it was his own.

Draco tilted forward, but caught himself. He wavered above Harry.

"I'm dizzy."

Harry looked up and met glassy, vacant eyes. His fingers barely met around the dick in his hands.

"Oh, shit." His mind raced. "Lay down. Lay down on me right now."

Draco fell forward, chest on Harry's face. Harry grabbed Draco's hips and pushed him down until their lips met. "Shit. Draco, stay awake."

Draco hummed against Harry's lips, and Harry stroked dick like Draco's life depended on it. Up and over the swelling head, thumbs working the underside of Draco's cock until Draco's back stiffened.

Cool lips found Harry's, and Draco whimpered, hitched, and the dick in Harry's hands throbbed. Hot rivulets flowed through his fingers, and he absently thought a cock that big should put out a whole lot more come than this.

Draco sighed into Harry's neck. "That was good."

Harry slid his hands out from between them and wiped them on Draco's arse. "That was close, is what that was."

"Mm hm."

"Are you just going to fall asleep on top of me?"

"Mm hm."

--

Harry woke at dawn to a startled owl hoot, a scuffle outside his tent, and then the walls of the tent shaking violently. He popped up on his knees to look through the mesh window.

The sun was just peeking over the treetops, and Hermione stood outside, hands on their tent, hair in a tight braid, dressed for a hike already.

"Get up, losers! We're going berry-picking!"

[goldenraeofsun]

A/b/o + celebrities and/or coffee shop 👀

Thanks so much for the prompt, Julesy, and I'm so sorry for the long wait! Part II should be up in the next few days, but hopefully this beginning 7k will satisfy for the time being 😘

Castiel is elbow-deep in suds when Jo plunks a medium to-go cup on the edge of the sink. “Thank you?” he says, bemused.

“It’s not for you, doofus,” Jo says, rolling her eyes. “There’s a customer out back,” she jerks her head towards the service exit that leads to the alley where they dump their trash and Ruby takes her furtive smoke breaks. “I need you to take this to him.”

“Out back?” Castiel repeats dubiously, craning his neck to catch sight of their on-site baker, Benny, who is busy kneading focaccia dough for tomorrow’s sandwiches. Benny, full of southern politeness, doesn’t give any indication he’s eavesdropping.

Jo gives Castiel a short nod, her alpha scent flaring with irritation. “I’d take it out there myself, but he always talks my ear off, and Kevin still can’t draw a latte art that doesn’t look like a dick, so…”

Castiel frowns but nods, and Jo’s expression eases once she doesn't hear a challenge to her request. Still, he has to ask, “But why doesn’t he order at the counter like a normal customer?”

Jo takes a step back towards the door. “You’ll see. Just… don’t make a big deal of it.”

“A big deal of what?” Castiel calls to her, but she’s already disappeared out to the front of the cafe.

Castiel sighs and wipes his hands on a dish towel. He picks up the drink, sniffing curiously.

He nearly gags at the strong aroma of brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and apples all on top of espresso and milk. They definitely don’t serve that on the menu. Admittedly, Castiel hasn’t memorized the list of hot drinks they serve at Hunter’s Cafe, but this is an assault on anyone with a nose. He’s been their busboy and dishwasher for six months since his second year as a graduate student began, and Jo has only let him mind the counter three times, all as far from peak time as she could get.

But a job is a job. Holding the drink, he shoulders open the back door.

“Hey - oh, you’re not Jo,” a familiar voice says.

Castiel stops dead in his tracks because, despite the sunglasses, the baseball hat, and hunched shoulders, Dean Winchester is unmistakable.

Away from the limelight, Dean apparently favors soft-looking flannels over worn tee shirts and jeans. In one hand, he holds a half depleted sheaf of french fries. Stunned, Castiel doesn't immediately hand over the reason for his appearance.

“Whatever, is that mine?” Dean demands, zeroing in on Castiel’s cup.

Still beyond speech, Castiel dumbly hands the affront to coffee over.

After a muttered thanks, Dean takes a long drink. “Christ, this tastes even better than normal.”

Castiel inhales a surreptitious breath. It’s not every day one gets to catch the scent of Hollywood’s omega darling.

Not that anyone would know Dean's secondary gender just by looking at him. Dean stands a few inches taller than the average male omega - he has nearly an inch of height on Castiel, and Castiel is the dictionary definition of standard alpha physique.

While Castiel might not be Dean’s most knowledgeable fan, he hasn’t been living under a rock for the past five years. It was all over the papers when Dean was cast in his first alpha role. Dean wasn’t the first omega actor to do so, but he was certainly the most prominent. Castiel’s sister, Anna, an actual fan, spent a memorable dinner ranting about how all the prejudiced reporters on the press tour. Apparently they only asked Dean about the diet and exercise routine that transform into a “real” alpha, while, in the next round, his alpha castmates fielded questions about their characters’ moral code and complex development.

But, in the alley behind Hunter’s Café, Castiel’s nose is completely overwhelmed by the fryers of the fast food restaurant next door, the set of dumpsters directly to his right, and the almost offensively apple coffee Dean is currently drinking like his life depends on it. Dean could smell like old gym socks for all Castiel can tell.

“Where’s Jo?” Dean asks once he resurfaces. He jams a few fries in his mouth. Before he's finished chewing, he sucks down some more latte in an unholy taste combination.

“Busy,” Castiel replies. “We have a new hire, and so far Kevin can only draw genitalia on lattes instead of flowers.”

Dean guffaws, nearly inhaling his drink. Swearing unrepentantly, he takes his sunglasses off and rubs at his temple with his free hand. “Christ, I’m too hungover to laugh like that.” He squints over at Castiek before sliding the sunglasses back on his face.

Castiel stares. “If you’re hungover, why are you here at -” he checks his watch “-seven in the morning?”

Dean slurps at his fruity latte before he answers. “Got a meeting at nine. This,” he says, brandishing his mostly empty cup, “and a large fries are the cure.” His hands occupied, Dean ducks his head to fish a single fry out and holds it like a cigarette between his lips.

“That sounds disgusting,” Castiel says, aghast.

Dean inches the rest of the fry into his mouth. “Don't knock it ‘til you try it,” he says with a wink.

Cas blushes.

“Hey,” Dean says, a new thought coming to him, “What’s your name?”

Taken aback by the question, he answers, “Castiel.”

Dean mouths his name once, his brow furrowing at the new syllables. With a small shrug of capitulation he says, “Well, Cas, thanks for the drink.” He toasts him one before tipping the cup all the way back, draining it.

“You’re welcome, Dean.”

Dean grins. “I couldn't tell if you recognized me or not.”

“I did,” Castiel says, clearly unnecessarily.

Amused, Dean throws him a long, considering look. “You’ve got one hell of a poker face.” He unceremoniously shovels the rest of the fries in his mouth and balls up the wrapper. He tosses it with practiced ease into the waiting dumpster.

“Thank you?” Cas says, nonplussed.

“Thank you,” Dean says, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. “You’re the one who saved my hide.” He sidles forward and shoves a bill into Castiel’s slack hand. Without another word, he takes off out of the alley and onto the street.

Once he’s out of sight, Castiel unclenches his hand. Dean tipped him ten dollars.

* * *

“How is this even more pungent than last time?” Castiel demands, nose wrinkling as he sets a now clean muffin tin back on the shelf. It’s been a week since he met Dean Winchester, and hadn’t gotten so much as a whiff of apple pie since then.

He is alone with Jo in the kitchen, since Benny’s early morning shift ends at eleven.

“I added a caramel drizzle,” Jo says, her scent rising with her self-satisfaction.

Castiel stares at her in horror. “Why on earth would you do that?”

“’Cause I’m trying to see what his limit is, and so far - nothing,” Jo says, shrugging. “Get to it. He’s real grouchy if you make him wait too long.”

“And why aren’t you taking it to him?” Castiel says, eyebrows rising. “Kevin’s moved onto multiple hearts now. Admittedly, his first one looked like a labia, but he’s gotten much better.”

“But Ruby didn’t show up, so we’re short staffed,” Jo says shortly. Outside, Kevin yells something indistinguishable though the kitchen door, and Jo winces.

Castiel takes the latte.

Just like last time, Dean is waiting, wearing a different flannel but the same jeans with the hole above the left knee. He abandoned the sunglasses, since the clouds overhead cast the whole alley in shade. They’re hanging from the vee of his shirt collar, pulling the fabric down a tempting extra inch.

Unfortunately, the fast food restaurant next door must have just taken out the trash last night, since the alley reeks of stale bread and rotting fish patties.

Castiel lets the door slam behind him, unable to hold back his corresponding smile as Dean lights up as he sees him.

“Thank god,” Dean says as he reaches for the latte. “I was starting to think Jo was gonna stiff me.”

“We’re short staffed at the moment,” Castiel says apologetically, “so you got me again.”

Dean eyes him over the lid of his cup. “Not a downside from where I’m standin’,” he drawls.

Castiel has no idea how to respond to that, so he doesn’t. Dean can’t mean it like Castiel thinks he does. He’s an actor, feeding people lines is the dictionary definition of his job. Instead Castiel asks, “No french fries this time?” because he’s not nearly ready to leave yet.

“Already ate ’em, while I was waiting,” Dean says dismissively.

Castiel shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry.”

“No harm, no foul,” Dean says with a little grin. “I got my caffeine fix eventually, and that’s what I really care about.”

“You look remarkably more put together than last time,” Castiel says as he leans against the doorway, watching Dean sip at his drink.

“Didn’t drink as much,” Dean says with a grin. He tips back his cup and takes a long pull. “Fries can only get you halfway there. Christ, that’s the stuff.”

Castiel can’t help but make a face. The latte smells horrendous; it can’t taste that much better.

“What?” Dean asks, eyes narrowing.

Castiel probably shouldn’t tell Dean what is exactly on his mind. Castiel has found very few people appreciate his default brand of honesty - Hunter’s Café customers, especially. But Dean isn’t technically his customer - he’s Jo’s - and Castiel has reached the point in his life where he doesn’t need to hang onto people who don’t like him and vice versa. Dean isn’t even providing extra publicity for the establishment, since he’s getting serviced in the alley behind the kitchen.

Technically, Castiel needs a celebrity acquaintance as much as he needs a free bag of cat food (he doesn’t have a cat).

But he does like having one.

A celebrity acquaintance, that is. Cats are inherently suspicious.

Reluctantly, Castiel says, “I can’t imagine that latte tastes very good.”

To his surprise, instead of demanding Jo bring him his coffee from now on, Dean laughs. “Not a fan of apple pie?”

“Not in my coffee.”

Dean takes an obnoxiously loud slurp. “I think it’s delicious.”

“I think your taste buds must be severely incapacitated.”

Dean waggles the near empty cup in front of Castiel’s face in what must be an enticing manner to someone with no sense of smell or taste. “Wanna try?”

Castiel valiantly holds back his recoil. “No, thank you.”

But Dean’s genial expression doesn’t waver. “‘M feeling pretty much human again, so it’s up for grabs.”

“I’d sooner lick the dumpster,” Castiel blurts before he can filter himself.

Dean whistles, rocking back on his heels. “Harsh.”

Castiel sighs. Honesty was a mistake. He mutters, embarrassed, “I’m just not a very big fan of sweets.”

“No?”

“I’ve been living with my cousin while in graduate school at Columbia,” he explains, his tone apologetic for his earlier comment, “and he has a horrendous sweet tooth. I don’t think he’s ever seen a carrot that wasn’t in a cake first.”

A wide grin splits Dean’s face. He laughs.

What Castiel wouldn’t give to scent Dean’s joy for himself. “He would probably love that latte,” Castiel continues wryly.

“Probably,” Dean agrees. He taps his fingers against the sides of the cup as he asks, “So you’re in school? For what?”

“Do you really want to know?” Castiel asks seriously. He’s had too many conversations with strangers and casual friends who have asked the exact same question and regretted asking it almost immediately.

Dean ducks his head. “I don’t know any graduate students, and I,” he breaks off, his cheeks going pink, “I never went to college, so I have no idea what it means.” He sucks on the dregs of his latte, gaze dropping to the vicinity of Castiel’s knees.

“Oh,” Castiel says, feeling lighter. “In that case, I’m studying ethnomusicology.”

Dean’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Are you fucking with me? That doesn’t sound real.”

“It’s a legitimate area of study,” Castiel assures him. “I research music as it pertains to culture and diverse elements of social life. Ethnomusicology focuses not only on the music itself, but music as a social process, as a medium for humans to relate to each other. In short, it examines how music functions in a particular society.”

To Castiel’s surprise, Dean doesn’t get the glazed-over look most people do when he explains his field of study. “So what kind of music are you talking about?”

Now it’s Castiel’s turn to flush. His colleagues, while they respect his academic reputation, have nearly all looked down on his chosen object of study. “One of the main tenets of ethnomusicology is a global perspective on music-”

“What, like Tibetan throat-singing?” Dean interrupts. At Castiels’ stare, he explains quickly, “Sammy had a phase.”

Castiel chuckles. “Yes, I do know a professor at Cornell who is studying just that. But my focus is much closer to home. I study,” he inhales a small breath, “tribute bands.”

Dean’s mouth twitches. “What.”

“Tribute bands offer a fascinating definition of the nature of performance, the difference between authenticity and identity,” Castiel says, already on the defensive. He can already hear his voice trying to fall into his usual academic patterns, and tries to rein himself in, “and historical consciousness in popular music. Here -” He pulls out his phone.

Dean listens in complete silence to Yellow Dubmarine’s cover of I Want You.

“Anyway,” Castiel coughs, embarrassed he made Dean sit through all that, “I also teach Rock and Roll from the 1950s to 1980s. There is a great deal of crossover with my specialty since most tribute bands recreate acts from the 60s to the 80s.”

“Dude,” Dean says in a rush, “if you think that makes you less interesting, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Castiel blinks.

“What bands are we talkin’ about?” he asks eagerly. “More Beatles? The Stones? The Who?”

Castiel nods. “I’m hoping to go to a Lez Zeppelin concert next month.”

“Led Zeppelin?”

“Lez,” Castiel says, emphasizing the ‘z’, “an all-female Led Zeppelin tribute band.”

Dean frowns. “They have a gimmick?”

Castiel shakes his head. “They’re completely sincere, I assure you.” He smiles wryly. “I interviewed Misstallica for a paper I’m writing on diverse, for lack of a better word, musicians in the tribute world, and they felt right at home with the long hair and tight pants. I’ve never met people who more adore the songs they perform.”

“Huh,” Dean says, rubbing his chin.

“Except maybe Air-O-Smith,” Castiel adds, “an American all-omega tribute band of Aerosmith.”

Dean’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

“My favorite all-omega tribute band, though, is Omega You Eight One Two,” Castiel muses, “a Van Halen cover band.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Dean says faintly.

“Their lead guitarist, as you can imagine, is phenomenal.”

Dean shakes his head, his expression going slack. “Wait, seriously? That’s a thing? All omega acts?”

“Of course,” Castiel says. “That’s one of the most compelling aspects of tribute bands, when they flip the traditional male-alpha dynamic of the original, and how they translate that into their own act while keeping the whole performance authentic to the creators. It’s a fascinating process to watch and study.”

“I bet,” Dean says fervently. “Hey, d’you think-”

The back door opens before Dean can finish his sentence.

Jo pokes her head out, looking askance at the pair of them. “Are you still out here?” She glares at Dean. “Stop complaining about your diet, and let Castiel come back to work.”

Castiel’s mouth purses. “You’re on a diet?”

“Not on cheat day,” Dean tells him, lifting his empty cup. He turns to Jo. “And I wasn’t complaining at all. Cas was actually telling me about tribute bands.”

“Really?” Jo asks, her nose wrinkling.

Dean tosses his trash in the dumpsters. “They sound awesome.”

“I like them,” Castiel says lamely, off-footed now the conversation is clearly wrapping up.

Jo rolls her eyes, alpha irritation practically radiating off her. “Good for you.”

“Alright, well, I’ll let you deal with Joanna Beth on your own,” Dean says as he pulls out his wallet and hands Castiel a folded bill. He gives a mocking salute as he takes a step back, “Good luck, dude.”

“Thank you?”

“Come on, fanboy,” Jo growls once Dean’s disappeared from view, “back to work.”

* * *

“Can’t you take it?” Castiel asks, his tone verging on pleading, as Jo follows him back into the kitchen. It’s too early in the morning for another meeting, closer to first time Castiel met Dean at seven am compared to their last meeting at a little before eleven.

This past weekend, Castiel went down a spiral of Dean Winchester content. He read up on all of Dean’s recent projects, scanned headlines about rumors of his next film - some action thriller that Castiel presumes is the reason for Dean’s diet, and watched interview after interview. Dean on Stephen Colbert. Dean on Good Morning America. Dean on some very confusing show where they forced him to eat spicy chicken wings, which just seemed like an exercise in pepper-based sadism.

Castiel didn’t really understand the Saturday Night Live skit where Dean played one half of a demon-hunting brother duo, but the live studio audience laughed uproariously at multiple points.

Jo all but slams Dean’s latte on the ledge above the sink. “You know the health inspector is here. I can’t let Ruby near the guy, and you know how Kevin gets around figures of authority.”

Castiel sets down his tub of dirty dishes. “He nearly peed himself when he had to tell you he dropped a tray of scones over the floor last week,” he says flatly.

“Exactly,” Jo says. “Benny is busy,” she says, tipping her head to where Benny is adding more flour to a huge bowl.

“Cheers, darlin’.”

She turns back to Castiel. “So, you’re it today, champ.”

“Great,” Castiel grumbles.

“What?” Jo asks, her hands on her hips. “You seemed to get along with Dean. I actually didn’t know you could talk that much before I sent you back there.”

Castiel carefully transfers the dirty plates to the sink. “Getting along with him isn’t the problem,” he says darkly.

“Getting along with him too well is the issue?” Jo asks, her eyebrows rising.

Castiel scowls at her observation. Her emotional intuition is what makes her an excellent café manager, so he can hardly fault her for that. He doesn’t respond to her question.

“Take it to him,” Jo says, her tone softening. “He likes you.”

Castiel raises his head to stare at her. “How do you know that?”

Jo pulls her phone from her back pocket and waves it in his face. “We talk,” she says. “How do you think he orders every time? He’s not getting those lattes for free, not after I spent so much time getting them exactly right.”

Castiel can’t hold back his grimace. The latte still smells awful, like a vat of boiled candied apples.

“Look,” Jo says, lowering her voice, “Dean’s famous, sure, but he’s actually a very private person. He runs his mouth to anyone who’ll listen, but he never really says anything important. So he doesn’t really connect with a lot of people. If he says he likes you, I’m gonna say that’s a good thing - if you tell him I said this, I’ll kick your ass - and make you his designated errand boy.”

Castiel bites his lip. “But I don’t -”

“Dude, don’t make me pull the boss card,” Jo says, just the barest hint of threat in her words.

“Fine.” Castiel snatches the latte off the counter. “But I want a raise.”

“You can get a free sandwich.”

Castiel glares daggers as he shoulders open the back door.

But the alley is empty.

Castiel breathes through his mouth as he steps out. The overflowing dumpsters carry the odor of moldering cheese and more rancid fish, and the fryers next door are still going strong. He doesn’t find Dean lurking behind the trash for some strange reason, and he’s about to head back in and dump Dean’s latte down the sink when a shout makes him turn around.

“Hey, Cas!” Dean calls, jogging in from the brightly lit street.

“Hello, Dean.” He hands over the latte.

“Thanks - sorry.” Dean rubs the back of his neck with his other hand. “Some fans caught me sneaking in here, and wanted a selfie.”

“Oh,” Castiel says for lack of anything better to say.

Dean tips back his cup, his expression falling into pure bliss. “Christ, that’s so much better when I’m not hungover.”

Castiel stares. “You’re drinking that with all your capacities intact?”

“Ain’t no better way to enjoy pie,” Dean says, grinning widely.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “That’s not pie.”

“It’s as close as I’m gonna get at eight in the morning on a Thursday,” Dean says with a shrug.

Silence falls between them, and Castiel can’t help glancing over Dean’s shoulder, tentatively scanning for the people who caught his attention earlier. Plenty more would have approached Dean if he didn’t have Jo’s latte waiting for him; Castiel would bet his job on it.

Dean is a celebrity.

Castiel is a grad student who can’t even afford to support a guinea pig on his stipend and café salary.

After a long beat, Dean asks, a touch hesitantly, “So, what’ve you been up to?”

Stalking you on the internet.

“Nothing,” Castiel lies. At the slight fall in Dean’s expression, he adds, “I cleaned my kitchen over the weekend.”

Dean chuckles. “You’re a weird dude, you know that?”

Hurt, Castiel takes a step back. Jo probably needs him for… something.

“Not in a bad way!” Dean says quickly. “Shit,” he swears under his breath, “please don’t stop giving me coffee.”

Castiel hesitates. “Why is it weird that I cleaned my kitchen?” He frowns. “I suppose you employ someone to do that for you.”

Dean seesaws his free hand back and forth as he sips at his latte. “Not always,” he lowers his voice, “I actually like cleaning - it helps me relax and shit. There’s nothing like blasting some tunes and scrubbing out that stain on the counter that’s been annoying you forever.”

Castiel lowers his voice too. “Is this a secret?”

Dean grimaces. “Not really. But, you know, it’s one of those omega things.”

Castiel doesn’t know. Well, he knows it is a stereotypical omega trait to like housework, but he has no idea why Dean would whisper it in a back alley like he’s confessing to defrauding an elderly relative. “And that is bad because…?”

Dean takes a long pull from his cup. “I don’t want to hammer the omega thing home too hard, alright?”

“But you are an omega,” Castiel says, feeling a little stupid for saying it out loud.

“Yeah,” Dean sighs, “but if I lean into it, I’ll stop getting alpha roles.”

“You only want to play alphas?” Castiel asks curiously.

Dean’s mouth twists. “They’re the better parts. Omegas are always the damsels in distress or get killed off first for the plot.”

“I’m sure not all films are like that,” Castiel says. God knows, Anna made him sit through enough films with an omega protagonist that did not fit the typical romantic comedy restrictions.

“Most.”

“The last movie I saw,” Castiel says, hesitant because Dean must know more about this than him, “my sister recommended it, it had an omega lead who led a team of paranormal investigators. A sort of horror-comedy.”

Dean’s face loses some of its hostility. Almost intrigued, he asks gruffly, “D’you know who wrote it?”

“Not off the top of my head.” Castiel pulls out his phone to look it up. He reads aloud, “Ghostfacers, directed by Ed Zeddmore, written by Harry Spangler. Starred Maggie Zeddmore and Alan Corbett.” He pauses, trying to remember the details. “I think they both were omegas. I’m sure there are more films like Ghostfacers out there for you to make.”

Dean sips at his latte. “A few. None with big enough names attached to really get on my radar.”

“Well, if you signed on, wouldn’t there be a big name attached?”

“Yeah,” Dean says in a tone that clearly conveys he’s thought of this possibility before. He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s just - what if I take one of these roles, and it gets all this attention just ’cause I’m in it, and it flops?”

Castiel tilts his head. “That would hardly be your fault. Most failed films are hardly the work of one person. Usually, it’s a combination of a bad story, bad production, and bad acting.” He levels Dean an appraising look. “Right off the bat, you control two of those elements - pick a good script and act as well as you always have.”

Dean blinks. “You’ve seen my stuff?”

Castiel’s brow furrows. “I thought I already said I knew who you were?”

“Yeah, but,” Dean says, his voice petering off with embarrassment, “that didn’t mean you liked my movies.”

“The majority of America liked your last movie, Dean,” Castiel says dryly. “Either that, or you have a very hardworking and wealthy mother who poured a hundred million dollars into ticket sales.”

“I mean, Mom’s a fan, but not that big of a fan,” Dean says, chuckling. “I’m pretty sure she’d rather get a twenty-minute call from yours truly than sit through a two-hour flick with my name on the poster.”

Castiel hands over his phone. “Here,” he says, tilting it so Dean can see the summary of Ghostfacers.

Dean brightens as he reads through it. “The Alpha dies first?”

“He thought he could deal with the ghost on his own.”

“Typical alpha macho,” Dean snorts. His head snaps up as he gives the phone back. “No offense.”

“No offense taken,” Castiel says easily. “With my lifestyle, posturing is a waste of time. I’ve long ago resigned myself to not being the primary breadwinner in any future household.”

“Really?”

Castiel throws him a look. “I’m in academia, Dean. Tenure is hardly a guarantee. Even so, there isn’t a wealth of money out there for ethnomusicology grants.”

Dean tips his head in acknowledgement. “It’s awful big of you.”

“Just logical,” Castiel says evenly. “It shrinks my dating pool considerably, but I’d rather do what I love than compromise that much for any potential partner.”

Dean inhales a deep breath, his eyes unfathomable. “I get that.”

“If it means I can’t afford to mate a house-omega, I’ll just have to keep cleaning my kitchen myself,” Castiel finishes with a shrug.

Dean grins. “I mean, if you spot me a six pack and don’t tell my trainer about it, I’ll clean your kitchen.”

Castiel turns bright red. He can’t bring himself to respond to that offer, so he changes the subject.

* * *

Castiel doesn’t even bother pretending to protest as Jo barges into the kitchen, the telltale scent of sugary apples wafting around her like a palpable shield. Castiel already set himself for heartbreak where Dean Winchester is concerned. He might as well take advantage of every interaction he has left.

He went to sleep late last night, watching one of Dean’s earlier movies. He was slimmer and younger, but he still shone with his signature charisma and talent. For the first time since Castiel started the morning shift at Hunter’s Café, he snoozed his alarm.

Hurrying through his morning routine, Castiel couldn’t help resenting Dean just a little. If only Dean hadn’t chosen a profession where his literal job is to be whatever his audience wants him to be.

As Castiel pushes open the door, Dean is waiting outside. Dark sunglasses shield his green eyes, and a violet bruise blooms over his left eyebrow. As the door slams shut behind Castiel, Dean winces. His left hand holds a half-empty paper container of french fries.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says. “You don’t look good.”

“Tell me about it,” Dean says darkly. “Gimme.”

Castiel pauses. “Did your hangover eliminate your manners?”

Dean flushes bright red. “No,” he mutters. “Sorry, Cas. I just feel like shit.”

“You look like shit,” Castiel says frankly as he hands it over.

“Thanks,” Deans says, his voice sour as old lemons. “I told Charlie tequila shots before Monopoly was a bad idea, but did anyone listen to me?” He gestures to his face. “Next thing I know, Jo’s throwing Charlie’s bag of DnD dice at my head.”

“You got that playing Monopoly? Wait, Jo did this to you?” he demands, gesturing to the cafe behind him. “Jo Harvelle?”

Dean just glares over the rim of his coffee cup. “Yeah, Katniss got me good.”

“God, why?”

One corner of Dean’s mouth lifts in a distinctly smug smirk. “’Cause she was going bankrupt, and she had to sell her last property to me.”

“So this was because of Monopoly,” Castiel says dubiously. In his experience, a board game has never led to actual violence.

Dean shrugs. “Game nights get intense. Why do you think I’m always bangin’ down your door the morning after?”

Castiel can’t believe it. “You’ve been getting this drunk at a game night? Every time?”

“So what?” Dean shoves four french fries in his mouth. “Whaddya think I was doin’?”

“Partying?” he suggests.

Dean snorts. “Maybe six years ago when I was doing B-level flicks and trying to meet as many people as I could. Now I have a back-to-back shooting schedule and hangovers if I don’t pace myself.”

Castiel watches Dean polish off his fries at a truly impressive and horrifying speed. He can’t help asking, “Why was Jo at your game night?”

“’Cause she’s a menace who knows how to pick locks?” Dean heaves a weighty sigh. “I’ve known Jo since we were kids. She and her mom - who started Hunter’s Café - were my neighbors.”

“I had no idea.”

Dean gestures to the alley with a wry hand. “Jo likes to keep it under wraps.”

“I see why Jo keeps making those drinks for you,” Castiel says, nodding at the half-finished latte in Dean’s hand.

“You didn’t make it?” Dean says, and does he sound almost disappointed?

Castiel shakes his head. “Jo is keeping the recipe close to the chest.”

“Probably worried everyone’ll want one if they get the taste.” Dean tips the cup back.

Castiel can’t help his noise of disgust. At Dean’s sharp look, he says aloud, “She’s probably worried everyone will never come back if they try it.”

Dean’s laugh cuts off with a wince. He raises a hand to his head. “Christ, last night was a mistake.”

Castiel surreptitiously scents the air for a better gauge of how discomfited Dean really is, but, as always, all he gets is trash and fryer oil. “How are you doing? Apart from the injury, headache, and general hangover-related malaise.”

“Oh, apart from that?” Dean echoes mockingly, but his words lack any heat. He crams a few fries into his mouth. “I asked my agent to send me a few more scripts with omega roles,” he mutters.

Castiel smiles. “That’s great.”

Dean hums his agreement. “Hopefully, she’ll pick out a decent one, and I can get something set up for after Two for the Show wraps.”

“Is Two for the Show the reason for your diet?”

Dean huffs. “Yeah. I have a bunch of shirtless scenes, so that means three months with the diet coach from hell.”

Castiel makes a noise of sympathy. After a moment, he asks, “Is it worth it?”

Dean chews a fry, scowling between bites. “Not really,” he says in a low voice. “Sammy’s the farmers market maniac in the family.” Wistfully, he continues, “Give me a good cheeseburger deluxe every day for the rest of my life with a side of pie, and I’ll die a happy man.”

“I didn’t think apple pie came as a side.”

“Not for you, maybe,” Dean says with an obnoxiously loud slurp of his latte.

Castiel doesn’t bother holding back his smile.

Dean sighs, rubbing his temple with the heel of his hand. “It’s just like, I don’t look like a traditional omega, so I figured I might as well try for the alpha roles.” He swallows. “’S a win-win situation. I look the part and the characters are better - what’s the downside?”

Castiel cocks his head. “Other than your restricted diet and inadvisable levels of drinking?”

A humorless smile pulls at Dean's mouth. “Not pullin’ the punches this morning, huh?”

Castiel colors, his face heating with shame. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well.” An inadequate excuse, but it’s not like he can tell Dean the real reason for his more uncharitable thoughts.

Castiel has never been one to lean into his alpha instincts. Possessiveness, aggression, arrogance - Castiel has had his (mostly regrettable) moments, but they hardly define his character. But over these past few weeks, he’s had to repeatedly tell himself that he can’t solve Dean’s problems. Dean is a wildly successful adult with millions of fans, while Castiel can’t even handle Hunter Cafe's front counter during the morning rush.

Dean would hardly welcome a nobody little alpha telling him to just… do what he wants and damn the consequences because he deserves to be happy with his life and his work.

Dean plucks out the rest of his fries and balls the wrapper against his hip. He lobs it in the dumpster. “No, I get it. I’m complaining about things that most people would kill to have.” He glances towards the mouth of the alley, his mouth set in a thin line.

But before Dean can leave, Castiel says quickly, “That’s not the way I see it. Your specific frustrations aren’t universal, but hardly anyone’s are. Society is inherently unfair, and it’s understandable to be angry about it.”

God knows Castiel railed enough about the unfairness of Dean Winchester to Gabriel enough over the past few weeks.

Even now, hungover and bruised, Dean is beautiful.

Castiel steels himself. “And, for what it’s worth, I don’t think not looking like a typical omega is a bad thing.”

Dean turns to him in surprise, and Castiel would give up that free sandwich Jo offered him to be able to scent what exactly Dean is feeling. But, after a second that stretches into an eternity, all Dean gives him is a quiet, “Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel nods, chastised by Dean’s reaction. “I should get back to work,” he says awkwardly.

Dean mutters something that might be a swear underneath his breath. Raising his voice, he says, his tone apologetic, “’Course. Sorry for keeping you.”

Castiel shakes his head. “It’s alright. I,” he pauses, “always enjoy talking to you.”

Dean’s mouth lifts into a small smile, and it’s like the sun rising through the early morning fog. “You too, man.”

* * *

After his next shift, Castiel asks Jo to show him how to make Dean’s apple pie latte.

Castiel’s first attempt is a disaster. He burns the espresso and adds too much nutmeg. Jo makes him try it anyway, as a non-monetary payment for her time. As Castiel gags, a smirking Jo dumps the bitter, weirdly savory mess down the sink.

“Passable,” Jo declares at Castiel’s second try. “You need more of the apple concentrate, though.”

“It’ll be too strong,” Castiel protests even as he shakes more powder in and gives it a stir. He hands it back to Jo for evaluation.

“You could barely taste it!” Jo says. She raises it to her lips. “Mm, that’s the stuff.”

“It is?” Castiel asks hopefully.

Jo nods and pushes the cup towards him. “That’s what it’s supposed to taste like.”

Castiel frowns as the overly sweet apples hit his tongue. He can barely taste the coffee underneath all the other layers.

“Trust me,” Jo says, flipping her hair behind her shoulder as she sets Castiel up for a third cup. “Your scent’s getting in the way, but it tastes exactly like an apple pie.”

“My scent?” Castiel echoes, baffled.

Jo throws him a look as she pushes a clean coffee cup into his hands. “Yeah, you already smell, I dunno, crisp but sweet? A little like apples. Makes you think the latte dials it up to eleven when it’s more like a nine for everyone else.”

Castiel hadn’t thought to put those pieces together, but it makes an astonishing amount of sense.

He brings his last apple pie latte home to Gabriel, and his cousin makes him write down, step by step, how to make it. In between actual licks into the cup to get the dregs, Gabriel swears to visit him at Hunter’s Café more often.

When Jo next ducks her head into the kitchen to tell Castiel that Dean will swing by in fifteen minutes, Castiel gets to work. He awkwardly sidles behind the front counter and maneuvers around Ruby and Kevin, nearly knocking Kevin’s elbow as Kevin attempts some elaborate leaf pattern.

Castiel draws a rudimentary apple on top of Dean’s latte, and if it looks more like a misshapen mango, nobody will see it but Dean.

For the first time, Castiel heads out to wait for Dean at the mouth of the alley.

Dean doesn’t keep him in suspense for long. He makes his way down the street, shoulders hunched, and head bowed. Gaze fixed on the dirty sidewalk, Dean doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as he turns the corner.

Dean isn’t even wearing sunglasses or a hat to hide his face, but everyone walks straight past him.

It’s the most riveting performance Castiel has ever seen.

A few steps away, Dean catches sight of him, and it’s like some magic switch is flipped on, and he is Dean Winchester again.

Smiling brightly, he jogs the rest of the distance and follows Castiel as he slinks further back into the alley. Dean wrinkles his nose as they get closer to the dumpsters and the smell of an entire rancid fast food menu hits him. “Hey, Cas,” he says as he takes his latte. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Castiel says, tipping his head.

Dean stares down oddly at the demented pear and takes a sip. Face going slack with a bliss Castiel doesn’t even need to smell, Dean groans.

Castiel freezes and sends up a silent prayer of thanks for the apron covering his lower half over his pants. “It’s good?” he tries futilely because Dean is clearly beyond speech.

Dean just gives him a thumbs up as he lowers the cup. He licks his lips, chasing the taste, and Castiel has seen pornography less graphic.

“I might have to tip Jo this time too,” Dean says, staring at the latte in his hand in wonder.

Castiel coughs. “I - I made this one, actually.”

Dean chokes on his next mouthful. “Are you serious?”

Castiel nods because if he opens his mouth he’s not sure what exactly will come out. Probably something highly embarrassing.

“This is the best one I’ve ever had,” Dean swears.

Castiel’s whole body heats with the force of his blush. “Thank you. I asked Jo how to make it, since it seems like I’ve taken over your delivery duties.”

Dean grins. “You’re a lot more fun than Jo,” he says lightly, “so I’m not complainin’.”

Castiel didn’t think he could get any redder, but here he is.

After an awkward beat, Dean says, “I think I found my next movie.”

“Really?”

Dean shrugs, but his eyes glimmer with anticipation. “It’s a World War II biopic about an omega who sneaks into the army, disguises himself as an alpha, and rescues a unit trapped behind enemy lines.” He taps his fingers against the side of his half-empty cup. “A little on the nose, but the script is good.”

“It sounds very promising,” Castiel agrees.

“Their biggest problem was the budget - historical pics aren’t cheap. But they think if I sign on early, they can leverage my name with the studio.” He smiles shyly. “Get the movie done right.”

“That’s fantastic,” Castiel says, a delightful warmth filling his chest - still a pale reflection of Dean’s excitement.

“Thanks to you.”

Castiel’s eyes widen in surprise. “Me?”

Dean throws him a funny look. “Yeah, you. You told me to get my head outta my ass and movies I actually like doing-”

“Not in so many words-” Castiel interjects, alarmed.

“’Cause the whole point of doing these stupid macho alpha flicks was so I could get the clout and money to do the stuff I actually liked,” Dean continues. “And I kept thinking, can’t do it yet, not there yet, until some rando tells me, fuck yeah you can.”

“I definitely didn’t say that-”

“It was implied,” Dean says blithely, waving off his protests. “So I figured, if this dude who doesn’t know me from Adam-”

“I’ve seen several of your films.”

“- tells me to go for it - it being something I’d thought of doing for years - is there any real reason why I shouldn’t?”

Castiel just stares at him, stunned.

Dean beams. “I’ve got a meeting with the director next week.”

“That’s wonderful,” Castiel says sincerely.

“Anyway, yeah, it’s partially thanks to you,” Dean says, tipping his latte in Castiel’s direction. “I also want to talk about romantic B-plot since I think it’s stupid.” He shakes his head, scoffing. “True mates, bullshit.”

“You think true mates are bullshit?”

As far as Castiel saw online, Dean’s never spoken on the record about true mates or any mates at all. Entertainment news sources reported rumors about him and a one-named alpha singer, Amara, early in his career, which he denounced thoroughly. A few months later, someone published revealing photos of him and an older alpha actor, Fergus Crowley. When asked about it, Dean refused to give details.

Dean makes a face. After a pause, he says, “My parents said they were true mates, but it wasn’t… pretty. No Hollywood romance between them.”

“I’m sorry.”

“’S fine,” Dean says in a tone that clearly says it isn’t. “Whenever Dad took off for a few days, I’d get to watch as many movies as I wanted, and - well, the rest is history.”

“I don’t know anyone who’s found their true mate,” Castiel says. His parents had a cold, distant marriage. A few times over the years, he wasn’t sure his mother even liked his father’s scent. Anna happily mated another omega last year, and Gabriel avoids all romantic entanglements like the black plague.

Castiel’s dating history can best be described as dismal. During his last visit to his pediatrician, his doctor called him a “late bloomer” which Castiel eventually realized just meant socially awkward. In the decade since, Castiel’s slept with a grand total of three people. And, to his supreme regret, none of them managed to bring his rusty people skills up to par.

But, in college, Castiel found music and his calling. And all his faults didn’t matter nearly as much.

In the crowd of a concert, people are so far outside the ordinary conditions of life, and so conscious of the fact, that they free themselves from individual concerns and devote themselves wholly to the collective. All their fury, their joy, their hunger for what they can’t have, is sublimated into the music.

Castiel has never felt more connected to humanity than in the middle of a crowd.

Truthfully, none of his past relationships ever measured up. None of his past partners ever managed to get Castiel out of his own head - not like the music.

Castiel shakes his head ruefully. “I wouldn’t know what to do with a true mate even if I had one.”

“Have a lot of super sappy sex with the lights on?” Dean offers, laughing.

Castiel frowns. “I wasn’t aware that kind of intercourse was restricted to true mates. I’ve done that in the past since I've always shared an emotional connection with the people I've slept with.”

“Oh,” Dean says, reddening. “Were you mated? Jo didn’t say.”

Inordinately pleased that Dean had asked Jo about him, Castiel shakes his head. “No, I’ve never been mated.”

Dean drains his latte. Swallowing, he says, “Me neither.” He throws the cup in the open dumpster and turns back to Castiel. “I haven’t dated in a while, actually,” he says in a low voice. “Couldn’t risk being seen with an alpha and remind everyone of what I’m not.”

Castiel narrows his eyes. “Surely people can’t be that close-minded.”

“’Course they can. Most are,” Dean says, his voice full of assurance.

Castiel’s mouth twists. “That sounds like a negativity bias to me.”

“Huh?”

“Negative information sticks with us longer and more strongly than any positive counterpart,” Castiel says with a shrug. “It’s something I always keep in mind when reading my course reviews after the semester is over.”

“So," Dean says, eyes dancing, "you can take the nerd out of the classroom, but you can’t take the classroom out of the nerd, huh?”

Castiel smiles wryly. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Dean laughs. “Look,” he starts, his expression turning a fraction more serious. “I might be fucking up a good thing here, but do you want to go to a Lez Zeppelin show next week?”

Castiel’s mouth falls open as Dean reaches out and pulls out his phone to show him a ticket confirmation email.

“It’s no big if you don’t want to,” Dean says awkwardly into the silence.

“I - I do,” Castiel says, stumbling over the words. “You do?”

“Uh,” Dean throws him a bemused look, “Yeah? I bought the tickets, dude.”

“I’m just surprised,” Castiel says honestly.

Dean stares at him. “This is seriously comin’ out of nowhere for you?”

“A little,” Castiel says defensively.

“Seriously?”

Castiel shrugs helplessly. “You’re … you. You’re famous. Why would you ask me?”

“Because I like you?” Dean says, nonplussed. “You’re nice in a way a lot of the alphas I know aren’t, and,” he breaks off, reddening, “you said you didn’t mind that I didn’t fit in with other omegas, looks-wise-”

“I don’t,” Castiel interrupts. “I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”

Dean gapes. “Did you seriously -” he breaks off, apparently unable to voice the rest of his thought. His face turns an impressive shade of crimson.

Castiel shoves his hands in his pockets. “Should I not have said that?” he asks, brow furrowing. This can’t be the first time Dean has been complimented on his looks. As Castiel understands, good looks are one of the main precursors to acceptance in Hollywood.

“No - I mean, maybe - never mind,” Dean fumbles, more out of sorts than Castiel has ever seen him. “It’s that nobody just out and says that, even to me.”

“I just did.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Dean says, but he’s smiling. “You should look in the mirror sometime, though.” He winks, and Castiel’s brain nearly fritzes out. “So that’s a yes?”

Castiel nods, an all-encompassing warmth filling his chest and exploding out to the tips of his fingers and toes. “I’d love to.”

“It’s a date.”

Read Part II here!

[jaehyunoos]

- Over it

Summary: You always preached about getting over your ex, real fast. But what if you haven't and you've been lying to yourself all along?

Genre: Breakup!au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Tw?: Alcohol consumption, a mention of reader wanting to unalive herself, reader is lying to herself as a coping mechanism???

Pairing: Lee Jeno x fem!reader (brief mentions of Haechan)

Word Count: 1.7k (it's the longest I've ever written lmfao)

Author's Note; Angsty queen or what?? lmao,, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JENO !!!! also, my requests are open if you want to request anything I will deliver <3 if you read this I love you and thank you for reading !! Enjoy 💚

You were over him. You were sure of that. After breaking up you did absolutely everything to get him out of your mind and surprisingly enough, it worked. You got a new haircut, started a new job, took care of yourself better, and made new friends. Life was a piece of cake for you when he left, everything came to a lot easier, in which you were thankful for that. You had moved on once and for all... Or so you thought.

Finding yourself looking back at times you were with him, how happy he made you, how much of a gentleman he was, how he made you feel like you were high; above everyone, and how much pleasure he gave you, you were his muse.

Slapping yourself out of your trance, you promised yourself to not think about him anymore. This night was going to be all about you and you only. Not Jeno -hell- not even a hundred Jenos couldn't stop you from having fun tonight. You were over him and that was final.

Walking into the house; which the party was hosted. Nose filing with the writhing stench of pure alcohol, mixed with sweat, you internally gagged passing by a couple making out at the kitchen entrance, you rolled your eyes taking a beer from the fridge and making your way out to the sofa. No way you would get out of this party sober, you had to drink, you had to get wasted. In honor of this prick; Lee Jeno, your ex.

You always boasted about how you were over him and how you didn't love him anymore. How he hurt you so bad that your feelings for him just stopped. You were so full of yourself, wow you had gotten over a relationship that you thought would be tough to manage, what a surprise. But seeing him walk into this house -powerfully so- with a lady by his side smiling and hugging his friends, you started to rethink everything you've done so far.

Were you really over the one and only; Lee Jeno? Or was all of this just a front, a new way of coping without him in your life? How did you manage to lie to yourself and believe it?

You know what they say; fake it 'till you make it. But did you? Did you make it? No, the fuck you did not. You were not over him. And you wouldn't be able to get over him, ever. Today marks the day you realized you didn't move on, putting one and two together you realized that all this time you were lying to yourself, and everyone around you. The hypocrisy.

Chugging the liquid down your throat, along with the betrayal you felt, the cold liquid cooling off your insides, making you feel a lot better at that moment. You smiled to yourself, alcohol made you feel free, your coping mechanism of a real escape once in a while. You got up to your feet, straightening your clothes, you made your way to the kitchen once again. You made sure you walked past them in long, powerful strides, grabbing your beer and exiting the kitchen, the same way you entered.

You glanced at them, seeing as he didn't even spare a glance at you, you sulked on the sofa. You couldn't stop thinking about the way he held her, by her waist, as if she was something so delicate; so fragile that if he held her in his arms for too long, she would break and disappear from his arms. You wanted to cry at that moment, he looked so happy. Maybe he truly was, maybe he didn't lie to himself like you did, and he was truly over you.

Or maybe he wasn't, you liked to cope with that idea. That he was putting up a front for you and everyone, that he didn't move on from you, but only the pained ones can dream, am I right? You wanted to dip at that moment, hide forever; or die. You shouldn't have come to this party, ever. Maybe if you stayed home and kept lying to yourself that you were happy, that you were able to live your life better without him. But at the same time, you wanted to get up and give him a good old slap into his handsome face.

How could he move on that fast? Get a new girlfriend, just like that, as if you never meant anything to him, ever. A person sitting beside you, suddenly, took you out of your train of thoughts.

"Hyuck!!, hey!" you breathed out.

Lee Donghyuck aka; Haechan. One of Jeno's best friends aka; your emotional support boy, was there with you, in all your crazy times after your breakup with him. "Hey, babydoll" he came closer to your face so you could hear what he said. Babydoll. The nickname he created after he, unexpectedly, caught you crying over baby dollies once, while he was over for late nights talks.

"What are you doing here all by yourself, mi querida?" asked, him.

"I'm trying to have as much fun as I can, I have so much to do this week" you let out a fake sigh, you had no work, no classes this week. You were just creating excuses because you were gonna spend those 7 days crying yourself to sleep and eat ice cream 'til you throw up.

Haechan threw an arm around you "he's here you know" he motioned towards Jeno and his crew with his chin, you looked over there for a second, catching a glimpse of Jeno smiling. You looked down at your red solo cup, sighing, "I know, what can I do about it" you looked at his eyes this time. "it's his birthday today".

"I know, how could I forget" you smiled.

"Maybe, I don't know, go there and wish-"

"ooookay time to get up and dance" you patted his thigh as you got up.

"Gosh, why are you so stubborn, I asked you to wish him a happy birthday, not fuck him, for god's sake!!" Haechan shot up from the sofa.

You stood there for a second, frozen, what was this outburst?

"Are you out of your mind!? He's clearly over me Hyuck, and as much as I wanna go up there and give him the biggest hug I can't. I can't just barge into his life back again and be like "heeey" as if nothing ever happened between us, as if we didn't hurt each other!"

You didn't mean to burst out like that, he probably heard what you said in fact; everyone did. Tears gathering in your eyes, you ran outside, the embarrassment too much to handle. You felt overwhelmed. You felt as if everyone was pushing you all this time and you -just now- had finally reached your breaking point.

Sitting on a bench near the pool, you let your sadness, frustration, regret, lies; everything takes over you as you sobbed into your hands. You felt stupid for crying over something so small, you felt bad because Haechan was probably somewhere beating himself up for pushing your limits. You didn't mean to be that sensitive.

You suddenly felt movement beside you as if someone sat there. You took your face out of your hands and looked at the person. Gasping, you wiped your -now wide- eyes and sat straight. There was none there besides the one and only, yeah you guessed it; Lee Jeno. "Do you mind if I sit here?" he gave you a soft smile.

'It's okay, you can sit, I guess" you cleared your throat.

You looked at him as he stared straight into the sky, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he rocked himself gently, back and forth. Mimicking his position, you did the same as you looked to the front, enjoying the cold breeze. "What happened to us?" you heard him speak, you turned to him, shrugging, "I don't know".

"it's like one minute we were in love and the other we were not"

you frowned.

"true, it's just one of us stopped loving the other for good but the one who thought that she had everything under control, turns out she's still madly in love, with the other" you smiled at him.

What you said caught him off guard, his eyes went wide in shock, but he quickly recovered. "Look, don't get me wrong I loved you; a lot, heck I might still love you. No, scratch that I am still in love with you, but, I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way" you felt yourself tense up at the word 'relationship' but you quickly covered it up with a smile "it's okay Jeno, I get it, I never really expected anything after our breakup anyways" you patted his shoulder as you continued looking at the stars in the sky.

"Hey, Jen" you called out to him.

"Hm?"

"Can I get a last hug?" you looked at him.

"Come here" he motioned as he opened his arms to engulf you in a hug.

That's what it felt like hugging your whole world.

Finally. She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven. After all the pain, the drama and deceit, the chaos and despair, there was rest. She felt once again the warmth and safety of his arms and how his hands held her as if he had known her all her life. She was finally home.

"She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven." But that only would last that long as Jeno had to go back home to the safety of the arms of his girlfriend, and she had to go back to an empty home, an empty world, cause that's what her world felt like without him; empty. She wanted him back in her arms, she needed to be in his arms, but it was too late for that as Jeno went back to his girlfriend and she had to go back home, full of regrets. She was not over him and she chooses to ignore it and the more she ignored it the more further away Jeno slipped from her arms to the arms of another.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 1

Summary: YN is a Detective and the partner of Gavin Reed, number one douchebag of the Detroit City Police Department. After a forced break, she comes back. She’s looking forward to working with her partner again and to getting back into her ‘normal’ life between case files and criminals. But, of course, it doesn’t stay boring for too long: Gavin seemed to be more on the edge than usual, a Red Ice dealer might be a good lead to something bigger and then, there is Connor, the friendly, handsome android and Hank’s new partner.

Added to the fact that yn has to deal with the criminal world again, she also discovers feelings she hasn’t noticed before triggered by a person she hasn’t expected.

Her life always resembled a ride on a rollercoaster.

But now, it’s a whole damn circus parade.

Characters: Gavin Reed, YN (FEMALE!Reader), Hank Anderson, Connor

Words: 2.472

Warnings: signs of PTSD (flashbacks in italics), cursing (a lot), mention of blood

"He's totally crazy. He shoots at everything that moves. It's impossible to get close to him.", yn stated. "But we have to stop him somehow."

"Stay here. I have an idea. Over there, the left spot is free. He will barely notice me.", Gavin said and pointed in the direction.

"Gavin, no!", Yn cursed as he slipped through her grip, "Gavin!", she tried again to call him back but her partner was already too far away, "Fuck!"

Gavin ran to the left side like mentioned. Yn stayed behind the hide and watched the scene concerned. She was trying to cover Gavin whenever needed. What Gavin couldn't notice was that the crazy guy had seen him.

Even if she tried everything to get the guy's attention, Yn watched in horror how the suspect aimed at Gavin who sneaked through the room completely unaware that he was the target in the line of fire.

The suspect aimed his gun into Gavin's direction and waited til he would appear on the other side of the pillar where Gavin tried to hide.

There was no way that yn would be able to stop the guy. He was too far away and behind a half broken wall. But she was convinced that she could help Gavin. That was what she did without thinking twice: she ran towards Gavin. As she reached him to push him out of the way, the suspect fired his gun two times.

Of course Gavin was cursing as he hit the ground unexpectedly, not knowing what had pushed him. He hurried to get back on his feet and as he saw that the suspect's gun had been running out of bullets, Gavin shot to stop him.

Gavin made sure that the suspect was no threat anymore. Officers were running into the room to arrest the shooter. And only then, Gavin noticed yn lying on the ground and all the blood pouring from her body...

Gasping for air, Gavin started up from his sleep and sat straight in his bed, "Fuck...", he cursed breathlessly. He was dripping with sweat, his hair clutching to his face. Three o'clock in the morning. Just two hours of sleep but still more than the night before...or all the other nights during the past weeks.

Gavin pushed his blanket away, sat on the edge of his bed and rested his face in his hands to calm down himself. His fingers were digging into his hair violently as he desperately tried to get the memories out of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut until stars were dancing in front of his inner eyes.

A shudder was shaking him. Goosebumps were spreading over his naked chest. To sit around like this, covered in sweat, wouldn't do anything good. And because he was already awake, Gavin stood up, took his boxing gloves and started to train until the pictures in his head would disappear.

He knew this would never happen.

He should have been better.

He had failed yn.

**

To stay in front of this certain building after all these long weeks felt like coming home. At least, for yn. She was nervous but in a good way that shot adrenaline through her body. It was like the first day at school after the summer break. She didn't have to fear anything. Everyone would be happy to see her again. And yet, she extended the moment to go in. It was not an official visit. She just wanted to come back because...she feared to miss too many things.

Yn had heard the rumors of Hank's new partner. An android. Then, there were the happenings that got called 'War of Detroit', the successful android revolution. So many things had changed and yet, yn knew that there was still this one, certain absolute term. Her own rock in this ocean of craziness she could always depend on: Gavin Reed, her partner.

Yn was looking forward to seeing all the familiar faces again and without waiting any longer, she entered the DPD finally.

*

Gavin stood in the kitchen of the DPD at one of the tables, his back facing the office so he hadn't to see anyone. The last thing he wanted was to talk with someone. A cup of coffee stood in front of him. He watched the foam floating around on the dark liquid. It was his third cup. And it wouldn't be the last.

"Good morning, Detective Reed."

Gavin nodded without looking up. Even if Gavin had made his peace with Connor, the nice android from the neighborhood, he was still getting on his nerves from time to time. This morning was such a 'time'. His thoughts always drifted back to his recurring dreams of yn…

"Reed.", Hank greeted Gavin, who nodded quickly. Without asking, Hank and Connor joined Gavin at the table. An own cup of coffee in front of Hank. He sugared it and stirred the liquid that would start his day.

Connor was about to say something, maybe to light up the mood of these two grumpy guys, but Hank stopped him, "Shit! Look who's there.", he said and looked at someone behind Gavin's back.

Gavin looked up and saw Hank and Connor staring at the same spot so, he turned around, "No fucking way!", Gavin called out surprised and approached yn quickly who stood in the passage of the kitchen. A smirk was spreading on his lips as he saw her in the familiar environment.

Yn smiled and waved but as she saw Gavin's predatory glance and the smirk, she stepped back and raised her hands to stop him, "Gavin, no. Stop! Gavin!" The impact of her partner knocked all the air out of her lungs.

He snaked his arms around her waist and scooped her up, "I have missed you, shorty!", he cheered.

Yn chuckled until she got put back down on her feet a moment later, "I have missed you, too, idiot!", she said. Together, Gavin and yn went back to the table to Hank and Connor, "I'm- what? Away for six weeks and everything went south? Detroit fights a civil war against androids who started a revolution? Everything's a warzone, suddenly and I'm not a part of that? Boys, I thought you could handle it better without me.", she said smirking and crossed her arms.

"We did what we could but there were just too many of these things.", Gavin said serious.

As yn looked at Gavin with an amused expression, her eyes fell on the fourth person at the table, "Oh, and who are you?"

"My name is Connor.", the android answered.

"My new partner.", Hank added.

"Your new- bloody hell! I already heard the rumors but- Nice to meet you. I'm yn. Whenever you need help with the old man, come to me.", yn said with a wink.

"Very funny!" Hank grunted but yn saw the grin on his face.

As Gavin saw the glances between Connor and yn, he stepped between them. Gavin wasn't fond of the way the android looked at her.

"So, you're 'back' back?", Gavin asked hopefully.

"I'm still not fully recovered. I have to attend a few dates with the psycho-doc AND I have to pass the shooting test. Then I will be back. I guess one more week. I just have missed all this so much, I had to come over.", yn said grinning.

"I guess, there will be no problem for you to pass everything, kiddo.", Hank said encouragingly.

"Thanks Hank-"

"Of course, she will pass all this bullshit! And then, she will be back. The precinct was way too boring without you!", Gavin said excitedly.

Yn saw his eyes sparkling and the familiar grin. She considered saying something nice but she always loved to tease this douchebag. It was their thing, "No new recruits to torture, huh?"

Gavin's smile faltered and he squinted his eyes as he saw her smirking, "I never-"

Yn nodded understandingly, "Ohh...I see... No women to hunt either? You poor thing!", she patted his cheek to act playfully caring.

Gavin couldn't do anything else than just to laugh before he brought her into a bear hug, completely enveloping her, "Oh, how much I have missed you!", Gavin stepped back, ruffled her hair, and laid his arm around her shoulders before they walked to his desk.

Connor watched after them. Overwhelmed by her entrance, the way she was handling Gavin and how different the Detective was around her, "Where was she?", he asked Hank finally.

Confused, Hank looked at his partner, "What?"

"Where was yn? She said she was gone for several weeks. Where had she been? Vacation?"

"Oh .. uhmm, no. She... During their last case, she got injured. She had to recover. It's good that she will be back soon, tho.", Hank explained, smiling about the fact yn was coming home.

"Detective Reed seems different around her.", Connor stated, still confused about all the smiles and laughter coming from Reed.

"I guess it's her magical power. She's able to handle him where anyone else failed a long time ago."

Connor looked at her once again. Yn stood with Gavin, Chris and some other cops at the desk, talking and laughing. She was truly magical. Nice, funny, cheeky, beautiful. He was looking forward to working with her. Then, she came back to them.

"Hey, I got appetite for the best burger in town. Wanna join?", she called over to Hank who nodded with a grin. Gavin rolled his eyes but she just nudged him in his side. Connor got dragged out of his thoughts and followed his three colleagues. Yn already waited for him to join. Much to Gavin's dismay she linked her arm with the android's one but he swallowed down his annoyance for the greater good.

*

They drove to the Chicken Feed truck. The best burger in town, how Hank had titled them. While the three made their orders, Connor organized a table. All three went to the table with burgers and drinks. Simultaneously, they bit into their burgers.

"You know, this meal contains 1.4 times the recommended daily intake of calories. You shouldn't eat-"

"Shut up!", Gavin and Hank yelled at the same time. Connor silenced instantly.

Yn looked alternating at Hank and Gavin before she stopped at Connor, "Connor, honey, very important rule: don't fuck the boys up when it comes to their food. It's not a good idea."

"But it's unhealthy.", Connor argued innocently.

Yn nodded slowly, knowing what he meant before she looked at her burger closely, "Well, I’m spotting salad, tomato and even pickles on our burgers. These are three different types of vegetables. It's more healthier than everything else we're used to consuming. Don't forget that we usually got fueled by coffee and donuts. Only."

Connor nodded and let them eat. He had learnt that humans knew how to live the best way but some of them didn't just want to do it right. Maybe it wasn’t for him to change their behaviour.

"Hey, sweety. Want some bread?”, Yn asked and threw a small piece of bread on the ground.

Hank followed the way of her attention and rolled annoyed with his eyes, "Oh, these disgusting creatures!", Hank muttered. Yn looked questioningly up to Connor.

"Lieutenant Anderson doesn't like pigeons.", Connor explained.

"That sounds like a story. I wanna know it!", yn said amused with a big grin, waiting for Hank to speak up.

Hank grinned but shook his head, "Someday, I will tell you what I had to endure with this guy but not now.", Hank said and he and Connor said goodbye. Hank hugged yn before they left her and Gavin alone.

Gavin and yn started to walk around a bit, enjoying the sunny winter day, "You look tired. Have you been very busy the last few weeks?", yn asked.

"No, it was okay. Nothing much. The typical stuff, you know.", Gavin said, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket, playing with some coins.

"Oh, yeah... So, you just didn't want to see me then?", she asked, looking at him from the corner of her eyes, watching his reaction.

Gavin avoided her eyes, looking at the ground, "Yn…", he sighed, "I…", but he stopped. Unsure what he should say.

Yn nudged him with her shoulder, a soft smile on her lips as she saw his pained expression, "It's okay. I'm not mad. I was just… it was boring, you know. If you would have visited more often, maybe it would have been more fun to recover.", she said jokingly but it wasn't working, the painful expression stayed in his face.

"I really doubt that.", Gavin said low, still not able to look at her.

"What?", Yn asked surprised and stopped.

Gavin stopped as well, facing her with his back, "I- I… forget it.", Gavin said and was about to go but yn stopped him with her hand holding his arm and turning him around.

"Gavin, what is it?"

Gavin needed a moment before he looked at yn, as he did, it was with a serious expression, "It's my fault that you got injured in the first place."

Slightly taken aback that it was this topic that still bothered him, yn frowned and looked at him with big eyes and shaking her head, "No. It was the fault of this fucker-"

"No! You wouldn't have been shot if I hadn't been so stupid! I have failed you as a partner and as a friend!", Gavin called out angrily, torturing himself.

Yn intervened right away, "Stop that, Gavin! It's not your fault, okay? Your idea was good. This guy was simply just too crazy."

Gavin dropped his gaze, not able to look into her eyes any longer. For him it didn’t feel right to get forgiveness from her, "I should have been in your place instead. Two more scars on my body wouldn't make any difference to all the others I already have."

Yn stepped forward to search his glance, "You feel guilty, I get that. But ... you don't have to, okay? And beside, I know you and your luck. You would have been killed instead of just being injured.", a smirk playing on her lips.

Finally, Gavin looked at her again. He chuckled low by the face she made: a too overexcited grin to cheer him up. No matter how down he felt, yn was able to let him feel better. Always. Even just for a moment. He stepped forward and brought her into a bone crushing embrace, "It's so good to have you back.", he said softly into her hair.

Yn was surprised about the sudden outburst of emotions but she hugged him back, enjoying this moment to the fullest, "Yeah. And you know what? I can't wait to kick some asses with you again."

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

Okay, but ‘Erase Me’ hits different after the newest episode (lyrics in bold, discussion/analysis in normal text)

What was our home

“Home” it’s an odd word for the sides. Especially with the recent episodes. With tension flowing between all of them with ease, it’s hard to question if they can truly find comfort in on another. Easily represented by none of the sides (other than Logan and Remus) being there throughout Thomas’ day. This isn’t like the other episodes where they’re all having a discussion together about Thomas getting overwhelmed. 

Instead, Thomas feels isolated for most of it, fighting a battle with his mind (mind referring to his intrusive thoughts, his sides, and Logan’s agenda for the day)

Paper not stone

Everything seemed to... change so quickly. They went from Embarrassing Phases with cute Halloween costumes and friendly jokes about cringe and vine directly into SvS and DWIT where Thomas questions if he’s a good person while his mental health quickly declines.

In a similar way, paper is fragile and flimsy, easily ripped apart.

‘Paper not stone’ could also be a way to reference Logan’s agenda for the day. All of it can be discarded and saved for Future Thomas™ since none of it is really set in stone.

A lean-to at most

Logan is nothing to Thomas- or at least he feels that way. He’s only someone who can calm Thomas down. Thomas can ‘lean’ on him, but that’s the most he is.

And when you pulled your half away

I’d like to think half has a few different meanings here. The one I like the most is where “half” represents Thomas’ attention. He’s pulled to Nico, he’s pulled to Remus, he’s pulled to anxiety. 

Logan recognizes this and calms him down. He lets him have breaks and gently guides Thomas back to their schedule once he’s a bit better.

Half could also represent for when he pulls away from Logan and listens to the other sides more. In this episode, he practically listens to everyone but Logan, despite him being the most physically there. He’s listening to his spiraling intrusive thoughts (Virgil’s fear and Remus’ role). He’s listening to his worry about Nico’s feelings for him (Virgil’s fear and Roman’s passion). He’s taking breaks and indulging in what he loves (Janus’ role and Patton’s enjoyment in child-like activities such as disney princess puzzles and dancing to up-beat music)

He might be the side the camera follows around, but he certainly isn’t the main character by far.

Gravity won Like it always does

Logan isn’t winning this battle. Of course he isn’t. He never does. Thomas is pulled down by the figurative gravity of all the other sides, while Logan is left there alone. 

In theory, he grounds Thomas the most, but Thomas also naturally drifts away from him. Using his role as logic for quick comfort before listening to someone else for an actual discussion.

Did I weigh a ton?

Is he weighing Thomas down? Is he making him unhappy? He thought he was good at one point, helping Thomas earn a degree in college and organizing a schedule for him so he could live life comfortably.

Yet the degree is tilted on the wall. The schedule would have been torn up if Thomas was given a paper. 

Would it be easier to just delete Our pages and the plans we made?

Would it be easier for Logan to give up? He certainly isn’t needed, Thomas didn’t listen to Logan the whole day and he was still fine. He made pages of things Thomas needed to do along with the plans that Thomas agreed to. Only for them to be pushed to the side since something grabbed his attention. 

And perhaps Logan saves these plans. He keeps them to help Thomas. Maybe to even create more realistic ones. But perhaps Thomas just won’t listen to him. He should just delete the plans he has. Thomas has always been great at improv. Maybe someone like Roman should take control- he’s been listening to him more than Logan anyway. (Represented through the whole Nico situation)

Erase me So you don't have to face me

Thomas turns away from Logan at the end, leaving him alone in the living room. He’s erasing Logan from his mind, finding an opportunity he wants because he doesn’t need Logan. 

Put me in the ground and mow the daisies

Was mowing the lawn on the list of things Thomas needed to do? Nope. Is Thomas mowing over his ideas for something more exciting anyway? Yep.

Ah, the memory, see how it goes When you

Erase me Erase me

“The memory” is Logan. It represents how he was aware of his own outburst at Remus, he knows he lost control. But maybe he’ll also ‘see how it goes’ when Thomas starts ignoring him even more. Perhaps his eyes will stay orange. Perhaps Orange will just take his place entirely. 

So what will you do With no me for you?

Thomas needs him- right? I mean, there’s no one else to create the schedules and plans... that Thomas doesn’t use. He helped earn Thomas’ degree! The... the degree he doesn’t use. 

Maybe Logan is useless. Maybe Thomas can’t function without him. Logan doesn’t even want to know at this point.

I know what we said

Logan knows he technically agreed to Thomas leaving and going to Nico, but he can’t help but feel bitter about it.

This bitterness rises when he’s with the other sides. Roman disregards him, “You’ll be fine, Rome didn’t fall in a day.” Logan hasn’t been ignored for more than one day. He isn’t fine. He’s more than what he’s acknowledged as, he quickly responds with emotion filling his mind, “Well, that’s a misquote so-”

Only to get fucking cut off. Again. He isn’t fine. He’s getting ignored and cut off whenever he tries to input something. Then Patton takes control of the conversation. Directing it at Thomas instead of Logan. Taking Roman’s side. Not listening to logic.

But what if I left a thing or two

Logan just needs to stop. He needs to stop talking, leave a plan or two in Thomas’ mind while a side or two keeps him busy for the day. 

We know that you don't seem To think about what you need 'Til you reach to find that you've

Erased me

Imagine telling someone that you really want to do something with them. You both clear out the whole day at an agreed time. Then they want to do something else. You- you suppose it’s fine? You both go there and then you get side-tracked again, and again, and- the day is over. 

They don’t care about what they were supposed to do. Thomas didn’t care about what he was supposed to do. Most of the things he was supposed to do didn’t even directly benefit Logan. They were things he needed to function, things to keep his place nice, not reading a non-fiction book or watching a documentary. They were things Thomas needed. But apparently that wasn’t a good enough reason to listen to logic. 

What the fuck is this? You're crazy, turned around  

Logan is fed up with how Thomas keeps ignoring him. Keeps getting distracted. “Turned around” turned around from the task at hand. 

“What the fuck is this?” could be to Remus. Constantly bothering Thomas, getting him distracted over and over. Going the complete opposite direction of where they should be going. And not listening to him when talked to about it. 

In two weeks time replaced me

Thomas doesn’t need Logan. It’s clear from his daily routine. All he needs is someone to offer the idea of dancing or a puzzle to him and he’s fine again. 

Ah, the memory everybody knows How it goes you just

Erase me

Logan is well-known throughout the mindscape. He’s known as a nerd, a geek, a nobody. Most of the names he could wear with pride, but he’s nobody. Nobody to Thomas and nobody in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps the other sides would be fine with Logan getting “erased.” They seem to regard his name with distaste anyway.

Did me like a bro and tazed me

Logan makes little flashcards for slang and tries to use them. Almost like a child proudly showing a high test score to their parent. He wants so badly to be acknowledged, to be heard, to be cool. 

Fireworks - poof - it's gone, amazing

Thomas is gone. The fireworks went off in his heart and he’s gone. Logan- Logan should be happy for him. It’s amazing as some would call it. He holds the to-do list to his chest as he sinks out. 

New bio, you've gone solo Drawing mustaches on our wedding photo

Nothing is important, not really. It can all be quickly discarded. “New bio” could be talking to Nico and changing a social media bio to dating or something like that.

“You’ve gone solo.” Haha that’s funny. Thomas is practically anything but solo with Logan. The line is said with such anger and bitterness that it’s no wonder why he thinks he means nothing to Thomas.

“Drawing mustaches on our wedding photo” What else is Remus going to ruin for Logan? Drawing on Thomas’ degree with mustaches?

Erase me Erase me Erase me...

Erase me This is us shouting, baby Erase me

Logan is begging, screaming, shouting for someone to acknowledge that he’s being ignored. But he’s being ignored, so they don’t hear him. Of course they don’t hear him.

Do we call the cops now, baby?

Cops is Orange. Take this as you will.

Ah, the memory everybody knows About the brand new home

There’s no distress in this line. Everyone is fine about the idea of Logan leaving to go into a new ‘home.’ He wasn’t important, so why would they worry? Thomas clearly didn’t seem to worry as he ran out of the house, searching for Nico. Thomas didn’t need him in the slightest.

Erase me And you'll never have to face me

Erase something off the to-do list. Erase the signature on the degree. Erase him.

Erase me Option-Command-Escape me And if you feel nothing Guess what I'll wanna be

Huh, I wonder what he wants to be :)

[grasshopperjay]

til the bone crush

evermore series | track 3: gold rush

everybody wants you, but i don’t like a gold rush.

pairing: jay halstead x reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: swearing, alcohol, flirty jay

“Hey,”

His voice gives you butterflies that you already know are gonna get much worse when you turn to look at those stupid blue eyes of his.

You turn slowly on your stool, eyes narrowed. “Hi, Jay.” Your tone is cautious, and you have a feeling he likes that.

“Fancy meeting you here.” He grins, his whole persona like a big red flashing light screaming mischief.

“I mean, I see you here almost every weekend...” You start, and he’s quick to jump in.

“And every weekend I try to talk to you, but you won’t ever give me the time of day.”

“That’s not true,” You start to say, and he furrows his brows at you in disbelief.

“Yes it is, it’s like our own little Friday night routine.” He says, and you hate how he says our and your heart skips a beat. “I come say hi, you get all nervous and cute, and then you see Kim or Stella, or Sylvie, or April...”

Your eyes get wide for a moment, and you see the corner of his mouth turn up. He’s got you completely figured out, and you had the audacity to think he had no idea what you were up to.

“And you pretend you need to go talk to one of them, to get away from me.” And now your eyes are desperately searching for one of the previously mentioned names, or literally anything to get you out of this conversation. “You know I’ve been shot before, Y/N... And that doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you shutting me down every week.”

You gulp, eyeing up your drink and wondering if it’s a bad look to chug the entire thing in front of him, cause at least maybe then you’ll be able to get a few words out. But instead your sitting here looking like a fifteen year old on her first date.

Jay chuckles when you don’t say anything, tilting his beer bottle up to his mouth. He takes a swig and then leans in a little closer, and you know he takes note of the way you instinctively lean back.

“Let me take you out.” He says, and you immediately shake your head.

His grin doesn’t waiver though, your harsh response not phasing him in the slightest. “Will you ever let me take you out?”

You shake your head again, standing abruptly. With a overwhelmed huff you grab Jay’s beer indignantly, taking a stiff sip while you walk away from him.

You’ve finished half of the beer by the time you’re sat at Sylvie’s table, willing the liquid to wear down some of the embarrassment you’re feeling.

“Did you just steal his beer?” Stella asks, and you sigh, stifling a loud groan.

“Were you watching that?”

They both nod and this time you can’t stifle the long whine that comes out.

“We don’t get it, Y/N.” Sylvie speaks for both of them, and you can’t help but think, of course you don’t.

“He obviously really likes you.” Stella adds.

“And it seems like you have a little crush on him too... So why won’t you give things a go?”

“I have a lot more than just a little crush on him,” You admit flatly. “But I’ve been with guys like him. He’s bad news.”

They could insist you’re wrong all they want but you know better.

You see the way people look at him. They want him.

You know that’s how they think, because that’s how you think. You’ve caught yourself dreaming all too many times what it would be like to love him. Waking up and padding around his apartment in nothing but his shirt, bringing him coffee before work, and him begging for five more minutes in bed.

It’s torturous, really. You shouldn’t hurt yourself like that, but at least the pain is imaginary. If you actually let him in, then that pain will become real, and you’re not prepared to deal with it. You can’t go through that again.

You’re not going to jump into things with him only to get hurt.

Sylvie and Stella go silent, thankfully not pushing the subject any further.

It’s not long before they’re chatting up a storm, laughing and smiling but you can’t pay attention. There’s a feeling in your chest that you can’t quite seem to shake.

Jay’s never managed to get this far under your skin before, and god you feel like cussing him out, but how are you supposed to do that when you can’t even look at him?

You take the last sip of the beer, and then you meet an bright blue pair of eyes from across the room. He’s got another drink in his hand, and he tilts it to you with a stupid smirk that you want to roll your eyes at, but in reality, your cheeks just turn a dark shake of red.

“Lucky lady.” A voice songs from beside you, “Halstead wanted me to tell you you owe him one.” Herrmann sets another beer down in front of you, and Sylvie and Stella are hooting.

You can feel him watching you, but you can’t bring yourself to look again, so you just shake your head, murmuring a thanks to Herrmann while you try to act like you’re not hanging on Jay’s every move.

This beer goes down almost as quickly as the other, and finally you’re starting to feel a little lighter. Maybe you’d actually be able to say a full sentence to Jay now! However, you’re not gonna attempt it.

You’re obviously lacking some inhibition though, because now it’s seemingly harder to stop yourself from looking across the room.

He’s so damn gorgeous, and you really hate him for it. You hate him cause he’s nice too. This really would be so much easier if he was just an asshole.

Before long Stella points out that you’re staring, and even after that you still can’t seem to tear your eyes away.

“I have such a crush on him,” You whine, and they both laugh.

“I think you should go for it.” Sylvie says.

“I second that,” Stella pokes your arm, and you shake your head.

“No. Not happening.” You conclude, but you’re having a hard time convincing yourself at this point. He looks so good, and he’s so charming.

“Cmon, just one date.” Sylvie begs.

Your response this time is the most unbelievable yet: “Nope.”

Your resolve is wearing down, and it’s probably partly cause of the alcohol, but it might just be youre tired of saying no when you want to be saying something else.

But after everything you feel you owe it to yourself to at least try not to give in, so you take the last sip of your beer, and then you say your goodbyes before heading out.

You step outside, taking a deep breath of the cold air. You’re finally home free. You made it another Friday night without falling completely for Jay Halstead.

You’ve only made it about ten feet from Molly’s when there’s a voice calling out from behind you.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Jay is standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, with that same stupid smirk.

You spoke too soon.

“See you next week.”

Fuck it.

Before he can turn you start walking towards him, already regretting what you’re about to do, but you can’t stop yourself anymore.

You don’t stop until you’re right in front of him, “Hey Jay?”

“Hey what?” He smirks.

“I think we should switch up that Friday night routine.”

And then his lips are on yours.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! I’ve read so many awesome fics this month! Make sure to check them all out. As always, all my love to all the authors in this fandom ♥

➻ don't want to fight you | starryharry | enemies to lovers - enemies to friends to lovers - pining - mutual pining - angst - fluff slow burn - no smut - 124k Louis hates that it’s familiar. He hates that sparring Harry is familiar because they train together. He hates that he even has to spar Harry at all, because Harry is good. Louis wonders what his life would be like if him and Harry didn’t hate each other. He can’t picture it, really. The incessant bickering that often turns into real arguing, the nasty looks, the eye rolls, the middle fingers. It all feels very necessary at this point. Or, the one where two fighters can also be lovers because routines are never permanent.

➻ we are ghosts amongst these hills | louisgaynkles | Soulmates - reincarnation - historical - slow burn - angst - fluff - 84k Harry spontaneously buys a house in Yorkshire because the universe, or fate, keeps leading him to it. What he didn’t know, is that his new house comes with a past that seems to be mysteriously tied to his own life. Before he knows it he finds himself travelling back in time, stuck in the middle of a century old love story. Featuring Louis as a farmer with a passion for gardening, Zayn as the heir to the local manor, Niall as a pub owner with a secret, and a truly underappreciated Liam. Based on Mariana by Susanna Kearsley

➻ through the wheatfields and the coastlines | thepolourryexpress | farms - cowboys - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - implied/referenced gun use - humor - smut - 53k “You’re not from around here, are ya?” Hot Cowboy asks, tracking his little lamb with his eyes. Louis frowns slightly, having thought he was doing pretty well at not sticking out like a sore thumb. It’s not like he’s not from around here — it’s not his first summer he’s spent at his grandparents'. But he supposes that the Manhattan city lifestyle that he’s used to is always going to shine through. “I’m visiting family for the summer,” Louis explains, cheeks a little pink. “Trying to get some work done without distractions.” Or, alternatively, the one where Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

➻ An Irrationally Strong Bond Between Two People | jishler | dystopia - friends to lovers - angst - first time - 18k Before The Advancement, most human lives and careers were plagued by irrationality and a lack of productivity. This was largely the symptom of what scientists refer to as “interpersonal passion,” which included two separate (though often conjointly occurring) phenomena: “love,” and “sex.” “Love” was a pre-Advancement word which referred to an irrationally strong bond between two people, which caused its sufferers to prioritise their fellow “lover,” as well as the integrity of the malignant bond itself, over vital things such as workplace productivity. Taken every two weeks in pill form, The Drug immediately removes interpersonal passion from the human psyche. Children’s friendships do not have the capacity to develop into full-fledged “love” since they are not yet adults. Every person over eighteen takes The Drug gladly, grateful that it allows them to be productive, clear-headed, and rational members of society. A few weeks before Louis’ eighteenth birthday, Harry and Louis fall in love. (Based on the book Louis writes in indiaalphawhiskey's Our Lives, Non-Fiction.)

➻ And When It's Time | larryftnoctrl | Soulmates - soulmate-identifying timers - 6k Louis wants a soulmate, Harry loves his free will. They don't exactly go hand in hand. Prompt: AU where you have a countdown on your wrist for when you're going to meet your soulmate and if you miss it the time will reset. Louis/Harry keep having awful luck and always are missing their time until one day they don't. Maybe the other one is scared/has anxiety about meeting their soulmate? Maybe one time they're in a relationship so they intentionally miss their time? Who knows! But they finally meet :D

➻ made for lovin' you | cuddlerlouis | a/b/o - enemies to lovers - hate to love - soulmates - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff smut - 53k “I’m in,” is all Louis receives. He blinks a few times, making sure he’s reading this right. “For real?” he asks, just to be a hundred percent sure. “Yes,” pops up. “How do you wanna pursue?” The alpha adds, like he’s on a special mission or something. “I’m gonna call us a cab to go to mine. Once I know it’s here, I’ll leave and join you there,” Louis explains. “I’ll text you to go around five minutes before it arrives, so it doesn’t look suspicious, and our friends don’t notice us leaving together.” “Noted.” So Louis does, and ten minutes later, he’s sat in the backseat of a cab, next to Harry Styles, the person he hates the most but unfortunately still finds attractive. They’re on their way to fuck in Louis’ flat. Splendid. - Or the one where a quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.

➻ deFENCEless | solvetheminourdreams | neighbors - enemies to lovers enemies to friends to lovers - gardening - fluff - humor - banter - no smut - 27k "I moved here first," Louis says with finality, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry shoots him an unimpressed look before leaning forward, leaving only a tiny gap between them. "Then get the fence first," he whispers, lips a mere inch or two away from Louis'. When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

➻ Canyon Moon | delsicle | a/b/o - werewolf - soulmates - childhood friends - friends to lovers - arranged marriage - mutual pining - hurt/comfort - angst - 41k For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry. Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind. An A/B/O Lion King AU

➻ only guilty of loving you | sweetrevenge | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - blind date - soulmates - fluff - angst - mutual pining - smut - 22k After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him. A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.

➻ 'Til Everything Changes | lovelarry10 | a/b/o - older characters - brokend bond - loss - falling in love - fluff - implied mpreg - smut - 57k Harry’s nose twitched as he caught a scent on the breeze, one that sent a shudder through his whole body. His eyes closed subconsciously, and he lost himself in the heady scent, the vanilla top notes, and the more woody undertones, making every hair on Harry’s body stand on end. That was how Harry discovered this man was an Alpha. “Jaz, Harry, this is my Uncle Louis. Lou, this is my girlfriend Jasmine, and her dad Harry.” "Lovely to meet you,” Louis grinned, leaning in and kissing Jasmine’s cheek quickly, a respectful Alpha gesture. Harry held his breath as Louis stuck out a hand, taking it almost reluctantly, certain the Alpha would pick up on his own scent and the nerves flowing through it. “Hi, Harry.” “Hi,” Harry said, his voice low and raspy, still affected by Louis’ scent. “Nice to meet you.” ~~~~ Harry’s an Omega who has been alone for too long. Louis’ an Alpha who is scared to find love again. Thanks to the meddling of Harry’s teenage daughter and her boyfriend, the two seem destined to meet, and it might just change everything they thought they knew about their lives. Will they find what they didn’t realise they’ve always wanted in each other?

➻ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | youreyesonlarry | ice hockey - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - major character injury - pining - unrequited love hospitalization - smut - 74k It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. -------- Prompt 21: Harry stopped playing hockey (after 10 years of a professional career) because of a severe injury. The dream he worked so hard for vanished in the blink of an eye. His family insisted that he had to go to physical therapy, even if it only helped his health. Cue to personal assistant Louis, the most efficient and kind PA one could hire

➻ Rooms on Fire | softfonds | a/b/o - actors - famous/famous - friends with benefits - secret relationship - 34k Ten years ago, Louis helping Harry through a heat was the start of a romance that ended in heartbreak. Now, Harry's marriage is over thanks to his husband's very public infidelity, and Louis is fresh off a Golden Globe win. The last thing they both expect is to be cast in the same movie.

➻ Stumbling Into Your Arms | sunshineandthemoonlight | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - college/university - fluff - 7k Suddenly, Harry’s nose was brushing against Louis' neck, where his scent was overwhelming. Harry jerked his head to the side and took a deep breath of air, trying to clear his nose of Louis’ scent. ‘Don’t get slick, don’t get hard, don’t get slick’, he repeated to himself in his head, like a mantra. Louis and Harry are university students heading home for the holidays. Harry quickly becomes enraptured by the attractive alpha standing across from him in the train carriage, who has a heavenly scent and a gentle smile.

➻ Little by Little | nonsensedarling | mpreg - non traditional a/b/o - exploring sexuality - exploring secondary gender norms - gender identity strangers to friends to lovers - mutual pining - fluff - slow burn - 65k Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. He and Louis quickly become close, but their friendship gets complicated when Harry begins questioning who he is and what he likes. Or Harry discovers figuring out who you are is more complicated than a potato metaphor.

[serenasoutherlyns]

Wake Up With You (Ask You How You Feel)

a/n: i took my ritalin for the first time in weeks and instead of cleaning my apartment, i wrote a Very Fluffy songfic. enjoy <3. i only read this a couple times so forgive any errors. all feedback appreciated!


calex fluff, song is "Go Outside" by Ratboys.

I wanna go outside again

I wanna sit back with the windows down and breathe it all in

I wanna go outside again

It's quiet outside the pub when Alex decides to go for it. The air is crisp and everything glitters underneath the streetlights. She'd gone with Casey who'd gone with Amanda who'd gone with Nick to get some fresh air, which really meant have a cigarette. Amanda and Nick had ended up in a cab very quickly, still attempting to seem like they weren't going to the same home.

Despite her aversion to sidewalks outside of bars at night, when Casey asked her to stay, Alex did, feeling safe. They keep moving closer, and Alex lets the overwhelming need to feel Casey win her over. She feels far more intoxicated than the one vodka soda she'd had would've made her.

Casey's hands are soft, but her lips are softer when Alex asks the question of a kiss. She thanks whatever forces there are that the clear answer is yes. Casey pulls her closer, tugging on her coat, but keeps the kiss delicate, like she's trying not to break anything. She pulls away-- Alex has to close her eyes, terrified that she's made a mistake and thrown away what chance she ever had.

"This is," Casey says, her voice giving away her smile, "I've wanted you to do that for so long." Alex feels her chest get warm at the admission. "Please tell me you want to do it again."

Alex nods, this time doing the pulling, a firmer kiss. "I want to do that as many times as I possibly can."

I wanna lay down in the sand

I wanna show up at the shoreline and drink Lake Michigan

I wanna lay down in the sand

"Why are you in Indiana again?" Alex's frustrated but happy voice comes crackly through the phone, almost the same frequency as the short waves. Casey's pockets are full of sand and her arms are coming up in goosebumps, but no part of her wants to go inside.

"Convention on torture methods," she says, pleased with the laughter she hears back, "Or the Novak family reunion."

"Mm. Well, I think you should come home."

"Oh yeah? Feeling clingy, Cabot?"

"I miss you."

"I wish you would come here instead." Casey snaps a wide-angle photo of the beach to Alex, doing her best to get the dunes and the lake in the same frame.

Alex gasps. "Is that Indiana?"

Casey laughs until there are tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "A very small part of Northern Indiana, yes. The Midwest isn't all bad."

"Better when you're there."

And I wanna walk down my main street

I wanna listen for the birds who might be talkin' to me

I wanna walk down my street

They can be together and silent now. Alex is grateful for this fact because she can hardly speak. Laryngitis-- Dr. Warner had explained to her that it probably started as a minor infection and was made worse with all the talking and bad sleep. A round of antibiotics and steroids plus lots of fluids should make it better before the weekend is over.

They don't need to talk. Casey is idly playing with her hair, Alex's head in her lap, dozing off in the afternoon sunlight. Casey's reading a book, Alex listens to the pages turn.

"Do you hear that?" Casey asks.

Alex hums, before regretting making any vocal movement. She screws her eyes shut in pain.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, love," Casey says, rubbing her hand soothingly down Alex's arms, completely naturally using that word they haven't said yet. "I didn't mean to wake you. It was just a pretty bird."

Alex takes a moment to decide if the pain is worth replying. "Don't apologize for pretty things," she whispers, her eyes still shut, "And I love you too."

I wanna be eloquent

I wanna take all of my best friends and show them where I live

Oh, I wanna be so eloquent

"It'll be fine, Case," Alex says quietly, holding her waist before their guests arrive. Today's the day she meets the friends, which, Casey thinks, with no in-laws to meet, is making her justifiably nervous. "Neither of them is going to bite you."

"Why do I doubt that," Casey says, only half-joking. "You know us, lawyers, sharks..."

"And how different am I out of the courtroom? Or Katie, or Adrian, or Anna, or Jesse,"

"You gonna list my whole graduating class?" Casey traces her fingers along the little gold necklace with the square pendant Alex has taken to wearing around her neck.

"If it calms you down," Alex says. "If you're really too nervous I can tell Abbie and Serena to keep the takeout and we can go to bed early," she says, tucking Casey's hair behind her ear. "But they're really more like manatees," she says, finally eliciting a smile.

The buzzer buzzes, and a brief flash of panic passes through Casey. She leans in, kissing Alex.

"If they love you, I'm sure we'll get along."

And I wanna make myself a meal

I wanna wake up with you next to me and ask you how you feel

I wanna make us both a meal

If she keeps doing things like this, Alex thinks all the love will make her explode. Today it's coming home to Casey, dancing in the kitchen, the apartment smelling like garlic and oregano, the sounds of an old country album mixing with the sizzling of oil in a pan. With her resolve growing thinner and thinner every day, Alex can't help but wrap her arms around her waist, burying her entire self into her hair, strong shoulders, soft hips. Casey jumps, and this earns Alex a snap on the wrist from the handle of her mixing spoon.

"Baby, do you want to get burned?" She says, laughing into the words, relaxing into her touch. She holds Alex's hand, stepping them away from the stove. She guides her through the rest of the song, never once complaining about Alex's two left feet and frankly dangerous elbows.

Casey stirs the sauce, then tastes it, pursing her lips, blowing to cool it down first. She holds the spoon up to Alex with a raise of her eyebrow, watching her look of satisfaction at the taste with pride. "Going to surprise me next time?" She asks.

"Yeah," Alex says, pointing her gaze over her glasses, "it's worth it."

And I wanna love you 'til the end

I wanna float off with the angels and pick a fight and win

I wanna love you 'til

'Til thе end

As Alex keeps reminding her, they have no need for a piece of paper to know they're in love. The wedding dresses she has saved on pinterest tell a different story.

The ring has been patiently waiting in the closet since two weeks after Alex kissed her.

"Baby?" Alex's voice comes from their living room while Casey fiddled with the ring box, practicing how she would ask.

"Yes?" Casey says, still dreamy, taking the ring box in one hand and popping it behind her back.

"Come sit with me." Alex says.

They don't need to get married, she doesn't need to propose, and they don't need the ring, not to know they're in love, not to prove anything, not to follow the common path.

But when Casey had come home that day, Alex had looked so comfortable and secure sitting on the couch. It's everything: her hair in a bun, her thick-rimmed glasses, her tank top and cozy pants, the novel she was reading, the way she stretched over the couch, twisting to see her come in through the door. And, what had finally melted Casey, made her absolutely certain: the completely natural smile she has whenever Casey comes home, her eyes wide and wrinkling at the edges, her tongue slightly poking out between her teeth. She has to see that one, every day.

She walks out of the bedroom, having changed into her sweatpants, still hiding the ring behind her back as she slides onto the couch. The same smile greets her when she gets to Alex.

"Sorry, I got distracted."

Alex sits up on her knees, furrowing her brow. "Is everything OK?"

"More than," Casey says, pressing the same kind of gentle kiss as the first onto Alex's lips. Suddenly, everything she was going to say, all the long, grand, rehearsed speeches she'd had for this very moment feel all kinds of wrong. Instead, she slides herself just off the couch, kneeling, opening the box.

Alex gasps, a wide open smile, beginning to say "Yes" before Casey gets any words out.

"Will you marry me?"

---

@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @hi-i-1

Reminder that my taglist is always open!

[oksana-moods]

Ghost of you - Part 9

Summary: Ghost realizes that, no matter how hard she tries, she can't run away from her past. When Carol's presence do more harm than good, the only way to come clean is to take a dive. A/N: Thank you again for all the support, and to let you know that we reached the point where things start to change. Starting for the song theme. Now we’ll go with ‘Writings on the wall’ from Sam Smith. We’re halfway through, lovelies. Trigger Warnings: Violence, language (a bit too much, I believe), mentions of death… if you find others, let me know. Oh, sort of WandaVision spoiler. Angst. “I've spent a lifetime running, and I always get away”

With my hands involuntarily clutching the tag, I’m sitting at the roof watching the sun slowly but inexorably going down in the horizon. Once, I heard that this is what life feels like. We born just like the sun raises, we reach our greatest point then we start to set till night embraces us. Death, just like the sunset, is inevitable. I find myself agreeing with this metaphor.

It’s been a few months since our futile attempt to overturn Thanos’s snap. And now, each one of us went different ways to try to cope with this catastrophe.

Steve, Natasha and I were still living at the compound we had nowhere else to go so we’re pretending that we were taking care of things, that we’re moving on.

Tony and Pepper are about to get married and, honestly, I hope they find happiness. While Bruce went missing again, Thor went to New Asgard, he lost everything but still had a Realm to rule; Rhodey was working for the Government in a high position, or so I heard. Wakanda lost all the royal family but Okoye was holding on, as best as she could. Rocket and Nebula stayed a bit but returned to space with promises of visiting whenever they could.

Oddly, the logo ‘Avengers’ was scattered all over the universe. We were broken, but we would still protect whom needed protection.

And there is The Avenger, the original one. Carol barely touched the ground coming back from Garden and took-off claiming she needed to check on Skrulls. Not even three weeks later she was back, and that caught me off guard. I’ve never expected for her to return, not that quickly, at least.

She’s been trying to talk to me, but I dodged all of her attempts.

Until now.

 “Hey, Mav.” I close my eyes when her voice reaches my ears. “The view from here is amazing.”

I was sitting at the edge of the roof and Carol was leaning with her elbows at the rampart.

“Yes. It is.” I answer. “What do you want, Carol?” We both know she’s not here for the view.

“To talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I got up from my seat, I’m standing in the roof starting to make my way to the door. I flinch away when her hand touches my metal arm. I shoot an outrageous look at her.

“Please.” Her eyes are so soft against my gaze that something inside me stirs. “You’ve been avoiding me. Natasha told me that you lost most part of your memories.” Her brows are so furrowed that is clear she’s upset. Why is she? I turn away from her, I’m looking at the horizon once more. Her gaze was too overwhelming, right now.

“What do you want to know?” I shove my hands inside my pockets. Damn, why am I so nervous? “Most of my memories are gone. The last four years is all I have without gaps. Wanda…” I close my eyes, still hurts to think about her. I think it always will. “She helped me to unbury whatever she could.” I saw Carol leaning at the rampart. She was trying to get closer, but I needed distance.

“I crashed after your crash.” She nodded, of course she knew this. “Whatever happened to you with the tesseract, spattered in me too. That’s why I haven’t changed, just like you.” I could feel my hands shaking inside my pockets, I was uneasy. Something about her was pulling me to the edge.

“But, what about…” She hesitated “What about your arm?”  Why is she pretending to be concerned? She’s getting under my skin and I’m feeling cornered. So, I do what every cornered animal do. They attack.

“Will you fucking stop beating the bush? Ask me what you fucking want to ask.” Oh and so she did, she was exasperated with me acting like an idiot. What was she expecting?

“I came to earth around 2007. I went to Maria’s and she told me you were at war but never make it back. I… I saw your stone. I… I…” She ran a hand through her hair. “I thought you were dead.” Her voice was a whisper but that made something burst inside me. I grieved her, even when I knew she was alive. She chose to go away and wanna play the broken-hearted role?

“You and me both!” My voice was harsh and loud, but I wasn’t yelling yet. Yet. “What do you expect me to say, huh? That I am sorry someone lied to you? That I am sorry you were sad?” The setting sun illuminating her face, making her look gorgeous than ever, made me hate her even more. “Well, news flash for you, hon. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE! I still see you die every time I fucking close my eyes.” I yelled. I couldn’t take this anymore. “I SAW YOU DIE OVER AND OVER AND OVER.” Her eyes were glossy, there was something shining inside them that I couldn’t decipher. And, Fuck. It hurt so bad. They hurt me so bad. She hurt me.

“I… Lara, I am so, so sorry they did this to you” She whispered again. She didn’t want to fight, but all I know is fight. And I only stop when I see blood.

“When I was taken by Hydra, they made me watch you die, they made me watch you leaving." My voice was low and hard, this time. "So no, I can’t stand this. Hydra took everything from me. They beat me and oh, they hit me hard. They cut off every single piece of me, and they put me through hell. But you Carol, you broke me first.”

I turned in my heels and left the roof. Each step my feet tried to betray me, make me to look back, but I kept going til reach the door. I knew I was far too harsh, my words probably cut her, but if she was bleeding so was I.

 -----------------

 Days went by and I didn’t see Carol since that day in the roof. Steve told me she took a room for her at the compound, she’d be staying a bit longer. Of course she is. Like I didn’t have a lot to deal with already. Since there weren’t any assignments going on, all the workout in the world couldn’t help to ease my mind. Or heart.

  I park my motorcycle at the parking lot and pick up the flowers from inside my jacket. I check it to see if they still look good. I shrug, they’re good enough.

I walked inside the Hospital and expertly made my way to my friend’s room. It pained me to know she was sick, but she was too strong to give in that easy to cancer. She was a fighter. She inspired me. If she could go on even with her decease and losing her child, so could I.

“Buying flowers became a struggle nowadays.” I said with a smile.

Her smile lit up the whole room. “Good thing you’re not going out on dates, then.” My laugh filed the room.

“Please Maria, you’re too old to be that sassy.”

“You’re just as old as I am. The difference is just that you still look good.”

“You still look good, Ma. I’d take you out on a date.” And it was true, she was around her sixties but still look beautiful. Few lines near the eyes, but only complimented her.

“Awn, you flatter me” She put a hand on her chest, faking innocence. “I don’t go out with women, hon. But I’d definitely accept the invitation, I’m craving real food, not whatever this hospital calls food.” Instantly, this blows the air out of my lungs and I’m forced to face reality. My friends are gone and soon, Maria will be gone too. Carol told me once that her biggest fear was to bury all her friends. Fuck. I understand what she meant now.

“Geez, Mav. It was only a joke. Next time, don’t bring me flowers unless you’re bringing fries too.”

I forced a smile at her.

After the whole ordeal with the ‘Accords’ I was arrested alongside Clint, Scott and Sam. Cap came and rescued us, but I went on the road since I was an outlaw too, so my visits to Maria and Monica stopped despite keeping in touch. I wouldn’t forgive myself for the time I lost.

“Carol came to visit me yesterday.” That’s the Maria I came to know, never holding back her words. “Apparently, you’ve been giving her a hard time.”

“Oh. Did she come to cry on your shoulder?” Every time Carol’s name was brought up, I felt my brain short-circuiting. I don’t know why, but I hated it.

“Naa. I was just gossiping around, I’m an old lady, after all.” She laughed lighting up the mood. “Does it feel better to yell, to be a bitch with her?”

“What?”

“C’mon, Mav. You changed a lot, but I can still see through you. You need to vent whatever is stuck in your chest; you need to put it out.” I was frowning at the floor. “That’s the only way both of you will move on.”

“I hate her, Maria. Seeing her makes me feel like my wounds are cutting open once again. I don’t see how we can move past this, how I can forgive her.”

“If that’s true,” She pointed at my chest, and I knew what she was going to say. “Why do you still wear her tag and yours together?” All of a sudden, the Tag was heavy in my chest. Tons and tons of unspoken words, feelings, and pain weighting too much.

“I… I don’t know. It kinda feels right.” God, I’m so confused. Is it possible to be friends with Carol Danvers again? Will I, one day, forget everything Hydra made me feel with those memories? I wonder if that hopeless feeling will ever go away. Because right now, all I can think of is that, at any moment, she’ll turn her back on me or she’ll die. It’s hard to look at someone expecting, waiting for the pain that usually comes with their face.

“I know it does.” And she changed her tone to her bossy one. “So, stop acting like you have a stick shoved inside your ass and talk to her. Promise me you will.”

“All right. I promise.” I answered, it was no use try to avoid this. Maria wouldn’t drop this.

“That’s better.” She had that look like she knew that I’d comply with her request.

“Doesn’t upset you? That she left and forgot about us?” I was looking out of the window, looking at the cars outside, people were, slowly, trying to find their bearings. Trying to figure out what should be normal now. They were trying. Should I try, too?

Maria’s voice made me look at her when she replied. “It used to hurt, yes. But I’m dying, Mav, I don’t have time or patience to fight anymore.”

 After Maria scolded me enough for not talking to Carol, our conversation was lighter. She complained about the overprotective nurse, she complained that tv never had good things to watch, gossiped about other patients, and when I said my goodbyes, she made me promise to sneak some food for my next visit.

However, all the way home I kept overthinking these things I’ve been building up inside me. Something about Carol made me uneasy, like I’m exposed in a field filled with enemies, with nowhere to hide. And I don’t like it on bit. There’s something about her eyes, and I hate the intensity in them when she looks at me, it’s like they can pierce your soul, see what’s underneath… And I’m way too afraid of all the terrors that she might discover. I’m not Lara anymore, I’m not who she thinks I am, no. I’m someone else.

 -----------

 “You stole my spot.” I said as I reached the roof. The woman who I was addressing to, turned her head to look at me.

She was wearing a simple jeans with a blue t-shirt and her hair was framing her flawless face, how this woman could be so beautiful even with so common clothes was beyond me.

She gave me a tide smile that never reached her eyes, they were somewhat tired.

“Oh. It wasn’t my intention; I’ll leave you to be.”  Yes please, leave me alone. I thought to me myself, but then my conversation with Maria from last week came to my mind. Fuck. I hate making promises. She was preparing to leave when I spoke.

“There’s room enough for both of us, though.” I said with a shrug, pretending that I was okay with her company, pretending that I wasn’t uncomfortable with this proximity. Her head snapped at me, she looked at me like I had grown two heads.

“Okay.” Her voice was so soft that immediately put me on edge. I felt exposed again. What was happening with me?

 We stayed there for a while with a heavy silence between us. The tension was so thick that I’m sure we couldn’t move, that’s probably why none of us left the roof yet. There was a sea of unspoken words and as much as I hated it, we couldn’t ignore this anymore. If she’s going to stay, we’ll have to dive into this. We’ll have to work together at some point, this wouldn’t be healthy during even the simplest mission.

“You know, I’ve been in a lot of places, but none of them had such a beautiful sunset.” Her voice startled me; I wasn’t expecting at all.

“Well, it does have something peaceful, doesn’t it?” She seemed to ponder what I just said.

“One may say that this might be a spell. That there are a lot of beautiful places out there, but nothing compares to home.”

“Is it?”

“What?” She looked at me, confusion written all over her face.

“Is Earth you home?” At this, she frowned.

“Look, I know what you’re implying. I… I don’t know how much you remember from… before.” She seemed nervous. “What do you recall?”

And that’s it. There’s no turning back now, I needed to dive into this sea and hopefully I’ll reach the other side alive.

I looked forward; eyes set at the setting sun. I couldn’t deal with this and look at her at the same time. My hands started to shake so I wriggle them together to stop them, somehow.

“I remember us.” I felt a pang in my chest. Shit. What is this? “I remember you were always going back and forth to Earth. I remember when you went for good, ‘we’re too good at goodbyes’, yeah?!”

She signed heavily. “While helping Talos, I realized that a lot of people needed help. I wanted to stay, but I just couldn’t ignore innocent people dying.”

“People were dying here too.” She was frustrated, she threw her arms around impatient, but I continued before she could speak. “I know, I know you wanted to bring peace to whoever you could. And Earth already had its saviors.”  

“It’s not just like that, I…” She turned to fully look at me. “After I found out about your… death,” She struggled with the word, it fell heavily from her tongue. “I felt so helpless, so stupid for wasting away the time I could’ve had with you, I…” She was staring at me, eyes locked, and I felt myself being dragged inside. “I couldn’t forgive myself for loosing you for good.” She half whispered as if afraid of this becoming true. Like I could turn into a mirage, out of blue.

She was diving in the sea of what was left unsaid too, there’s no going back. “And when you died, part of me died too. Then Earth wasn’t home without you on it anymore, that’s why I never came back after. But then I received Fury’s emergency call, only to learn about Thanos… only to find out that you were alive this whole time.” Her eyes were glowing with such intensity, that my feet were glued to the ground. I felt a hand wrapping around mine. “I wanted to come back, back then. After I went through your door, I regretted at the very same instant, Lara.” Her voice was so soft when she spoke my name, it was like her tongue was made of velvet and it took the air out of my lungs. “After all, I wanted… I wanted so damn hard to be happy… with you. But I couldn’t find my way back, it didn’t seem right. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’d only do more damage than I already had. And I’m so, so sorry for hurting you.”

I was so entranced in her eyes while she was speaking that up until now, I hadn’t realized how close she was, or even that her hand was gripping my flesh hand. She’s so close that I could see the fading sunlight brightening her freckles. She was so, so close that my brain was at loss.

I didn’t know if the sun was illuminating her face or if it was the other way around, but such perfection made something inside me stir, I felt strange. I felt an urge to reached out and touch her face, like I needed to feel her skin under my touch just as much as I needed oxygen.   “Why are you here now, Carol?” My voice was so soft that felt foreign, almost like a whisper. “My heart is at Earth.” She whispered back, like she was afraid of breaking this spell, this trance that was keeping both of us from moving away.