#that on some level he’s afraid of her and that he could lose control of her at any moment and possibly already has—and that he likes this

[dragonseeds]

maybe like four blogs ago i wrote the most insane book-focused meta about will as john the baptist and starling as a sacrificial christ figure who becomes one with god in a way john cannot and is absorbed in the process of her apotheosis—but the point is the story is about her and will’s only the forerunner, the prologue. like, i love hannibal the show and will graham is my favorite unhinged wet dog, but i’m still a little bitter starling’s story was dissected and given predominately to a male character instead of fuller just coming up with something unique for will and hannibal.

what’s most interesting to me about them has always been will’s fundamental inability to handle the work that he was asked to do and that everyone knew this but they kept asking because he’s so Special—whereas starling could handle it, being clever and hard-working and exceptional at compartmentalization, but was never allowed to do so because she wouldn’t compromise herself to get ahead. it’s stings because gender is precisely why they ended up where they did; the horror and violence of gender is so thematically significant and inextricable to the series for me. will caught hannibal almost by accident in the books. hannibal caught starling not by devising a trap for her or gaslighting her (that came later) but simply because the systemic misogyny she faced pushed her out of her career and her life, and her contempt for the corruption of system grew and grew and crystallized inside her until she was forced to make a choice—shoot the dirty cop or let hannibal be eaten by the pigs—and in making it she revealed the truth of herself: that she believed she was above the law, above the broken system, above the men who uphold it. that choice drove her straight to hannibal. he didn’t have to do anything at all to isolate her. she came for him; he just had to wait.

[iamcalmdammit]

Sleepless night || [Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader]

note: this was supposed to be something completely different but then simon turned into a lovesick puppy somehow. what do you think?

Simon could only hear the sound of an explosion nearby and see the smoke from where he was, but Soap was close, he reported it was the same building you were in. His heart was racing, his thoughts wandering a little too far as he thought about the worst case scenario.

"Echo 3-7, come in," There was no response. "Echo 3-7, do you copy?" He forced himself to sound calm, but in reality he was everything but calm. He was losing his mind, getting into a thought spiral he was afraid he wouldn't be able to escape until you finally said something. "Y/N, please, say something," he tried again, this time sounding desperate.

"Lt., I have a visual on her, she seems to be okay," came Soap's voice through his earpiece.

"Are you sure it's her?"

"Positive. From here it seems like she's trying to use her radio."

Right, it must be it, it just doesn't work properly after you being so close to the explosion. Maybe you didn't even hear him calling out for you. "Must be the result of the blast," he noted eventually.

"Probably. I'm on my way there." Some time passed in silence which made him think Soap didn't feel like chatting this time around. But he was wrong as the sergeant broke the silence not a whole five minutes later. "So her real name is Y/N?"

After letting out a long sigh, Simon closed his eyes. "Yes," he replied, knowing well enough what was about to come.

"Why did she tell you?"

"She had her reasons."

"You two are close, aren't you?"

"Not anymore."

"I bet she has seen you without the mask," Soap said and it was clear through his voice that he was smiling to himself.

"She has."

"You were dating, weren't you?"

Okay, this was getting out of hand. "Don't push your luck, sergeant," Simon warned him.

"Okay, fine, I'll stop, sir."

"Thank you. What's your status?"

"Almost there. No sight of the attackers."

Good. At least you weren't in danger now. He could only hope you had no injuries of any kind, like a nasty internal bleeding you didn't notice due to the spike in your adrenaline level. He couldn't lose you, not now and not like this.

There were so many things he wanted to say after what had happened between you. He fucked up big time and it was by now crystal clear to him that you had to talk about your relationship. You had to fix it. He had to fix it.

"She's fine, Lt., only has a couple of bruises and cuts," Soap's voice came through the earpiece again. "Her radio is dead, we'll stay together from now on."

"Copy. I'll get the car and pick you up. Stay where you are."

"Understood."

The car ride back to the team's temporary base passed in complete silence. You didn't say a word, mostly focused on the city around you instead, while Soap was clearly torn between asking a bunch of questions from the two of you and keeping silent as it was none of his business. In the end he kept his eyes on your environment, making sure no one was following you.

You didn't talk to him. Aside from a short thanks back when you had gotten into the car in front of the building, you said absolutely nothing. He didn't mind as having a conversation in front of the others now would have been torture. It was hard to control his emotions and since you didn't want the rest of the team to find out about your history, it was best to keep quiet for now.

Late at night, around two or three in the morning, Simon woke up. He was staring at the ceiling for a while, thinking about you. Again. But this time he had enough. He couldn't wait any longer. So he quietly stood up and walked over to where you were sleeping.

"Hey, Y/N, wake up," he said, gently putting a hand on your shoulder.

"Why?" you asked groggily.

"Let's talk."

"Now? What time is it anyway?"

"Late, but it can't wait."

"All right."

The pair of you walked to a room far from the others and he quickly put his hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eye. "You sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"I'm glad to hear that." Biting on his lower lip under the mask, he thought about how to proceed. It was a dangerous conversation that could go wrong any second. "After seeing the place explode I thought I'd lost you," Simon admitted after some thinking.

You let out a short laugh upon hearing this. "It's not that easy to get rid of me."

"That I know."

Silence fell between you and he could see you were struggling to figure out what to say. "Is this why you woke me up?" you asked in the end.

"No, I actually wanted to tell you something," he quickly replied before gulping. "I fucked up, I know that now."

"Took you long enough."

You were right, he couldn't argue with this statement. "Every time I saw you with Alex, knowing how much he knows about you--the real you," he began uncertainly but didn't finish the sentence just yet. After inhaling and exhaling, he eventually said, "It was too much and I definitely misread the situation."

"And?" you asked expectantly.

"You're just friends, more like siblings. I get it, I have no reason to be jealous."

"Thank you. What changed your mind?"

"Time," he said. "I thought a lot about what went wrong after we broke up. Also… Yeah, it probably helped that Alex came to talk to me about it. He told me how badly I hurt your feelings."

Letting out a groan, you put a hand on the back of your neck. "I'll have to talk to him about boundaries," you said quietly.

"He was just worried about you."

A few months ago he wouldn't have thought of protecting Alex, but here he was, trying to do it. He was important to you and Simon didn't want to stand between the two of you. He had to get over his stupid jealousy.

"You know, I was wondering if we could start again," he spoke up again. "I miss you. I never thought I would ever say something like this, but I can't sleep without you next to me. I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't focus. I can't live like that."

"I know the feeling," you noted quietly. "You left me, Simon. You said things that really hurt me. I spent days blaming myself, that maybe you're right, that maybe I let him too close."

Shaking his head, he quickly stepped closer to put a hand on the side of your neck, caressing your jawline with his gloved thumb. "You need a friend you can talk to about the things you do on the field, I didn't get that back then, but I get it now," he explained with a smile you couldn't see now.

Smiling yourself, you reached out and took off his mask. "You're lucky you're cute," you told him.

"You think I'm cute?" You nodded. "Marry me," he blurted out.

"What?"

Yeah, what? But as he thought about it, it wasn't a joke or anything. "I'm serious," he told you. "Let's get married."

Shaking your head, you stood on your toes to kiss him gently. "We barely agreed to give our relationship another shot, I think it's too soon," you said with your hands on his chest.

"Come on, in our line of work we shouldn't wait with things like this. Let's celebrate that we found someone who can understand why we do what we do, someone who wouldn't judge the other for the things they do on the field," he tried.

"How long have you been thinking about this?" you asked with your head tilted to the side.

"For a couple of hours, I guess." You laughed and put his mask back on. "Hey, I know it's not that long, but I'm serious. Think about it. Please." Before you could say anything, you both turned to the door when you heard footsteps. "Not a word!" Simon warned him.

Soap opened his mouth, but in the end decided to put up his hands and go back to the others without saying anything.

[l4zyb0n35]

THE BREAKING POINT

SMUT FIC

PAIRING: Alastor x F!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is a diligent worker, much to the chagrin of her partner, Alastor. Despite his efforts to get her to stop for both their sakes, Y/N remains steadfast in her duties. However, Alastor finds a loophole to this situation.

WARNINGS: Really really great awesome writing skills, Established romantic relationship, (can be seen as dating, fiancé, or married), AFAB reader, usage of Y/N, Sexual content (obv), Mature themes, Mature language, Nudity, Breastfeeding, Unprotected sex, MINORS DNI FOR UR OWN SAFTEY, Alastor manipulates her but only to get her to stop cleaning the hardwood floor, Alastor kinda controls her but not too much. Let me know if i missed anything :3

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92

WORDS: 2.4k

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

You were a very hardworking woman around the hotel, to say the least.

Your excuse? “Well, Charlie is just dealing with so much, what’s my help going to harm but not… help?”

Ever since your dear partner, Alastor, invited you to live with him in his hotel room at the Hazbin Hotel, just to be closer as a couple,

You would not stop fucking working.

It’s driving him mad.

He has recently tried everything to get you to relax, to take it easy for once, but you were too stubborn for that. He couldn’t even believe how much work you did for such a small pay. It was honestly ridiculous since you weren’t even a maid, if that was what you were thinking.

So what if you were a bit of a clean freak, it wasn’t any reason to clean the entire damn hotel every day, including the outside, may we add.

You wouldn’t listen to his advice though, no matter how many times he told you to stop.

“Y/N, I swear if you keep cleaning the hotel I’m gonna…do something very bad,” he threatened one day while you were scrubbing down the lobby.

You chuckled, ignoring his threat.

“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart, m’ not gonna lose a limb.” you said with a smile.

Alastor sighed, watching as you continued to scrub the floors.

“You’re just being stubborn, Y/N,” he mumbled under his breath.

‘My last resort, I suppose.’ he concluded in his thoughts, looking around to make sure nobody would hear them.

After making sure that they were alone at the scene, he walked back over to you, trying to fix his composure.

“…When will you come back to bed with me, dear? It’s been cold without you.” Alastor said, kneeling down to her level as he put on his fake facade.

You paused for a moment and turned to him, “Aw, Al, you miss my spot being filled in the bed?” You said, rubbing his shoulder.

He nodded, “It’s never the same without you, I’m afraid.” He tried to soften his smile.

“…You’re not just saying that, right?” You said, losing your smile and pausing your hand.

“What? No-no. I would never lie to you dear.” He said, defending himself.

“…When do you want me in bed, hm?” You said, picking up your supplies and ignoring your suspicions, “I need to shower, after all.” You added.

Alastor stood up, “Now?” He asked, trying to sound hopeful.

“Mm, sure.” You nodded, walking off with your bucket of cleaning supplies.

He silently celebrated his victory.

* * *

Alastor’s ears perked up as he heard the shower turn off.

He was currently laying in bed with only a robe on and some boxers, staring off into the bayou and he brainstormed what he could do to get you to stop working.

He decided a couple minutes ago that his only option left were to ‘have intercourse’.

It was quite smart, actually. All he had to do was take your ability to walk.

So he waited as your blow dried your hair, trying to ignore his unpleasant boner from beneath the cloth of his boxers.

He waited even more when you picked which robe to wear to bed,

which, as you stepped out the steamy chamber, was a red silk robe with Alastor’s initials on it, your favorite.

He had a smug look on his face, seeing you step out in his clothing.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were waiting for me.” You said, seeing Alastor sitting up in bed.

He smiled at you, “No worries, dear,” he said, standing up and putting his hands on your hips.

“I was just waiting for you to come to bed.” He said, bringing his lips close to yours.

You laughed softly, pulling back after a moment, “What’s the occasion, dear?” You rested your forehead on his, closing your eyes.

“Hmm?” He asked, confused.

“Why are you acting so lovey-dovey with me? Is it Valentine’s Day already?” You laughed again, resting your head against his chest.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised, darling.” He said, leaning forward and kissing your temple.

“But, really, what’s the occasion?” You asked, moving back to give him space.

“Well…” He said, thinking quickly, “I figured you deserved a break after all of that hard work you put in recently.” He said, smiling again.

“Oh, your so sweet, Al.” You commented, caressing his cheek.

He leaned into your touch, “Yes…so i decided, what better to do so than taking your ability to walk for the next morning?” He sighed sweetly.

You paused, “…forget about Valentine’s day, did rut season come early?” You said, raising an eyebrow.

Alastor grinned, “It’ll definitely feel like it.” He said, grabbing your waist and laid you flat on the bed.

He moved down to your neck, kissing and suckling on it.

“Alastor…” You laughed out softly, more in a mumble.

“…Sshh, just let me do my thing, okay?” He whispered in your ear, continuing into your neck until he was sure to leave a mark, latching off of it with a ‘pop’.

He then made his way down, stopping at your breasts, cupping them in his hands and giving each nipple a gentle tug before resting his lips onto one of them.

He sucked and nibbled on it, moving to the other breast and doing the same.

He stopped, hearing you moan quietly under him, “Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked, looking up at your face.

“Oh, yes,” you gasped out, feeling your legs go weak as you lay there, “Keep going.” You added, running your fingers through his hair.

Alastor smiled, continuing to kiss your breasts until he felt you get wetter and wetter.

He sat up, sliding your robe off of you and throwing it somewhere across the room, leaving you in just your panties.

His eyes widened a bit at the sight of your body, “How did i end up with a sinner so beautiful.” He said, resting his head on your stomach, giving the fat of your hip a squeeze.

He ran his hands up and down your thighs, stopping at your panties and pulled them off of you, tossing them aside.

He then spread your legs apart and started to rub your clit gently with his thumb.

You let out a soft moan as you let out a jolt throughout your body from the contact, “F-fuck…” You breathed.

Alastor smiled and brought his free hand to your mouth, “Lick.” He commanded, placing his index finger on your tongue.

You obeyed, tasting your juices on his fingers.

He swiftly pulled the claw out your mouth, then slowly slipping two of them into your gummy walls.

You moaned out again as he curled his fingers inside you, thrusting them in and out of your hole.

He pulled his fingers out of you, sucking them clean as he moved your body to the center of the bed, sitting on his knees atop of you.

“Now,” he grabbed your left left, throwing it stop his shoulder, “You know the safe word, dear?” He said, grabbing ahold of his member and teasing your entrance with it.

You nodded, moving your hips for some more friction.

“Needy, I see…” You pulled his cock farther from her, “I need words, dear.”

“Y-yes, Alastor…” You struggled out.

He started to fist his member slowly, “Wouldn’t want to hurt my prized possession.”

After a moment, he pulled his hand away to put another leg up on his shoulder, scooting in and rubbing his duck along your slick folds.

“O-oh….” You breathed out as his meat hit your nub, “P-Put it in, Al…” You mumbled.

“Hm, what was that?” He stoped his member, resting it upon your nub as a tease.

You bit your lip, grinding against his dick, desperate for him to put it in.

He chuckled, pulling it back, making you stop.

You let out a whimper.

Alastor looked at you with a lustful look, his smile widening. “I need you to beg for it, dear.” He claimed, enjoying the moment.

You blushed, looking away for a moment.

Alastor tilted his head, grabbing his member again and started fisting it slowly.

You gulped, looking back at him, still not meeting his gaze, and whispered something incoherent.

He grasped your chin, turning it so you would look at him. “What’s wrong dear? losing interest in my so suddenly?” He said, making you shake your head, “Hm…then beg for it.”

"Please, Alastor, put yourself inside of me, fill me up, fuck me, please!” You begged, moving your hips for a feeling.

He stopped your hips, growling as he pushed himself inside of you without any warning, making you moan loudly.

“F-fuck…” you cursed from the sudden movement, trying to squirm away automatically.

Alastor noticed this, pausing his movement as he grabbed your arms, then your hips and waist, getting you to stop, “What’s wrong dear?”

You looked at him, “…k-kiss me?”

He smiled softly, “Anything for my doe.” he said, leaning down and kissing you directly on the mouth.

Although, as he leaned down, his dick moved further inside you, causing you to let out a jolt once again.

He caressed your hair, “It’s already in, dear,” he mumbled lovingly on your lips, “you’ve done your work, now just relax. I’ll do everything else.”

Waiting until you nodded, he pulled away and slowly began to pull out, before thrusting in swiftly, but gently.

You whimpered softly, gripping the sheets under you.

He pulled out and pushed in again, slowly building a rhythm.

He began to thrust faster, more cruel, “Oh, Alastor…” you moaned out, holding your hands around his neck.

Wet skin slapping together filled the room’s noises, alongside the crickets in the bayou, making you blush from the awkward noises.

Alastor noticed this, beginning to buff out his breaths and growls, and silently sent over his shadow to turn on the radio to a quiet, intimate jazz station.

“Hah…Alastor…” You breathed out as he shushed you, thrusting faster.

His cock rubbed against your walls, hitting all the right spots.

After a while, Alastor started to feel a familiar coil in his abdomen, grunting as he forced his hips to go at an ungodly pace, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Gonna fuck you so good, darling…” He huffed, “Fill you up…you won’t be leaving this bed, understand?” Making you look at him directly and he moved your head with a tendril.

“Y-yes, Alastor…” You mumbled, trying to hold eye contact.

“Good girl…” He awarded verbally, growing another tendril into sight as he moved it down to run your clit, getting a high pitched moan out of you.

“F-faster, Al…I feel it…” You tightened your legs on him, tensing up.

As your tits bounced up and down from the thrusts, you couldn’t help but have to cover them because of the breeze from the bayou-

“No,” he immediately said, lifting one of his hands from clawing at the sheets and placing your hands around his neck, immediately diving down to suckle on your breasts.

“O-oh, yes!” You cried out, feeling his tongue circle around your nubs as he switched between the two.

You groaned as you felt the familiar coil in your abdomen grow after a couple thrusts, “I’m g-gonna cum soon, Al…” You scratched at his back in pleasure, trying to chase at your orgasm.

That’s when he didn’t switch to another breast, but kept sucking on one of them, rubbing and squeezing the other with his hand, making you wonder what he was doing,

Until you felt some milk come out of them.

“Ah-Ah! Alastor! I’m close!” You said, your legs shaking violently as you felt the intensity of him suck and squeeze milk out of you.

He growled, fastening his pace even more, making them even more tougher and he enter and exited your womb space, “Come for me, darling, let me hear you sing for me…”

His dirty talk only got you closer and closer to your edge, until,

You threw your head back into the mattress, arching your back as you let out a blissful cry of pleasure, clenching around him as you rode your orgasm, struggling to even keep your eyes open.

Alastor let out a beastly growl as his form quickly morphed to a more intimidating one as he shoved he cock into you one last time, releasing his seed inside you.

His cum leaked out of you as he slowly pulled out, quickly stuffing his fingers inside your hole so the cum would stay.

“What a good little for you are to me…” He said, admiring the mess you both made on the bed, and then just you laying there.

Noticing how you were still breathing heavily, not moving your body unless a little twitch, he leaned down to whisper softly, “How about some cold water, dear? Think this’ll help you relax?” He asked dotingly, making you nod instantly.

That made him chuckle, moving over to the edge of the bed as he stood up, going over to the nightstand and placing a water pitcher there from the shadows, and walking over the the bathroom for a towel.

***

As he came back from the bathroom with a hot rag in the hand, he noticed how you were half asleep, yet still conscious, which made him laugh softly as he place the rag down by the pitcher, crawling over to you.

“Mon Cher, you’re all fucked out by yours truly.” He smiled softly, fetching the rag from the nightstand with his shadow as he began to wipe your cunt clean.

When he was done, he then took notice of your breasts, how there were some stray milk on them.

Shrugging and tossing the rag aside, he leaned down and softly licked the milk off your chest.

You giggled softly in your daze, “Alastor…” You rubbed your eyes.

When he finished up, he filled a glass of water from the pitcher and turned back to you, sitting you up gently as he tipped the glass of water to your lips.

“Think you’ll be walking tomorrow?” He wondered aloud.

“Hm…will you stay with me here if i don’t?” You asked as you finished your glass.

He placed the cup down, “Of course dear,” he promised, crawling under the sheets beside you, sending his shadow to turn off the lights in the room as he cuddled close to your fragile state,

“Sleep well, dear.”

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

END NOTES: I LEARNED HOW TO SPELL AWKWARD FROM WRITING THIS LETS FUCKING GO!!!! All jokes aside, (not really, now clap), i hope this fic actually turns out well because i spent 5 minutes trying to copy and paste this into a word counter and then 2 more minutes pasting this fic here because my phone sucks and it’s broken and i hate it and abuse it but like…i just hope it does well. I (hypothetically) put blood sweat and TEARS into this fic and idgaf what you think because it’s amazing for a first fic on this blog. Notes and comments, maybe even reblogs *wink wink* and also REQUESTS!!! Requests are my best friend, and always open unless I’m on vacation (which i’ll always announce). I love you guys ^^ !!

-Lynn Lazybones

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

Masterlist Link

Comment to be apart of my TAGLIST <3

[pumpkinmetaphor]

Ouran, Performance, Audience

Okay I said I was going to write this and I can't look at it anymore so posting. Anyway, performance in Ouran is interesting and we’ve all been chatting about it lately. Each character puts on an “act” for the guests, each character puts on another “act” for the people around them. It’s a testament to how well the characters are written that we can unravel these performances throughout the text. I still think there’s several levels of reading the characters and the text as well. 

Ouran is satire- hence why they’re essentially parodying these archetypes. But Ouran is also self-aware, self-referential, and meta. Characters break the fourth wall. They’re, at varying levels, aware of being in a story. We have characters who obviously break the fourth wall (Kyoya looking right into the camera in episode 1, for example. I would say Tamaki’s “homosexual supporting cast” speech, except it’s kind of an anomaly for him) and characters who are resistant to any sort of self-reflection that might lead them to any sort of conclusions like this (Hikaru.) I will at one point go through the entire manga again and count how many times each character narrates– which, to my recollection, is uncommon outside of Haruhi (MC obvs, and framed as talking to her mother) and Kaoru (framed as talking to himself/ the audience/ Hikaru-that-lives-in-his-brain) but I could be misremembering.

This is generally played for comedic effect. Tamaki breaks the fourth wall when it’s funny. Kyoya plays dumb about plot conventions (such as “we have birthdays here?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”) when it’s funny for him to do so. 

Anyway that’s just my setup. I want to discuss the Paris Arc, specifically whatever is going on with Kaoru. 

Read More because this is 2k words.

Kaoru is an interesting character because I think the performance is a little more pronounced. There’s reason to interpret he generally controls the scripts, his host club act is a bigger deviation from his natural personality, and fundamentally, as a person, Kaoru is less solid in his sense of identity. 

Which does kind of beg a question. The version of Kaoru the host club girls get is clearly fake. But the Kaoru most people get is some form of a mask. Kaoru reflects Hikaru– which is what Hikaru needs until Kaoru fears he doesn’t. Kaoru seems to take Haruhi’s assertion that he’s the “less evil one” to heart. I think neither Hikaru or Kaoru know what Haruhi is going to say is the difference between them in Episode/Chapter 5 because they themselves don’t know– aside from this very philosophical “well the one who is you is the one who is not me and the one who is not you is me etc.”

Anyway, we all kind of understand the general baseline– Hikaru is going to grow up, fall in love, and spread his wings– Kaoru is afraid this means Hikaru will leave him behind. This is the plot. 

But I think a lot of this comes down to “the thing they won’t be able to share,” which is presented to us in the form of that cookie. Haruhi notes that Kaoru will just give whatever it is to Hikaru. Hikaru ultimately snaps the cookie in half and forces Kaoru to take half of it anyway. This kind of embodies the fundamental difference between them, in my book. 

(Ch. 45, various spliced together pages) Hikaru: It is literally not on Hikaru’s radar that there might ever be anything that he and Kaoru do not share. He does not conceive this on any level before the Paris Arc. Kaoru will literally always be here, he is a constant that Hikaru cannot conceive losing. Hikaru’s not afraid of Kaoru abandoning him– he may be, afraid something will happen to Kaoru that will take him away, but he’s not afraid of Kaoru choosing to leave. Why would he? Kaoru is the one person who cannot betray him. 

Kaoru: It is a given that Hikaru will one day leave. It is simply the only way. Hikaru will grow up and, for various reasons, Kaoru will not grow with him. And Hikaru will choose to leave– this will not be a betrayal, it’s just how life works when you’re not the main character in your story. Your carriage turns back into a grubby ole pumpkin and you’re left all alone. 

After the cookie scene, Kaoru tells Hani that he has feelings for Haruhi. This is, in my opinion, when Kaoru takes the reins of the narrative. Of the carriage, so to speak. The carriage in the anime exists on the condition that no one acknowledges that they’re in a love story and “breaks” the found family. Kaoru saying he’s in love with Haruhi steers the narrative on the course to the inevitable. 

Which is great!

Except is Kaoru in love with Haruhi? 

My hypothesis: it literally doesn’t matter. Kaoru’s feelings for Haruhi do not drive the narrative. Kaoru talking about it does. He could be lying. He could be mistaken. He could be genuinely in love with her. It could be an idle crush. It doesn’t matter. It’s the performance of this love for the appropriate audience (aka: Hani, Hikaru etc.) that matters.

I think the base reading of this arc is that the cookie is Haruhi. Haruhi is the one thing they can’t share, right? They can’t like, keep eating biscuits out of her mouth and licking her face if Hikaru wants her to be his girlfriend and Kaoru wants her too. While I don’t think it’s incorrect to read this as a concern Kaoru has, I don’t think it gets to the heart of the issue. 

So, performance!

Kaoru puts on his little act for Hikaru throughout the Paris Arc. Generally tormenting him, ostracising him. In a way giving him a taste of what Kaoru goes through in a zillion Hika/Haru fanfictions or Kaoru’s own nightmares. This culminates in the date, where Kaoru basically brings Haruhi on the date he asked her on first (before giving it to Hikaru) and hitting every single mark that Hikaru missed. Not that anyone is enjoying themselves regardless to be honest. 

And of course, at the end, he kisses her and Hikaru sees and runs off upset. 

Except we, the audience, know Kaoru kisses Haruhi on the cheek. It’s a clear enough stage kiss from the art. Just close enough for us to understand that, from Hikaru’s perspective, Kaoru kissed her on the mouth. We’re bystanders, watching this plot unfold. Hikaru is Kaoru’s intended audience– that’s who he’s performing for. 

So what’s the difference then between this scene.

And this scene?

Well, first: what else can be the one thing Hikaru and Kaoru can’t share? If you go one level further, I think you come to the conclusion that Hikaru is the one thing they can’t share. After all, Hikaru cannot keep giving half of himself, half of his time, energy, love, self etc. to Kaoru all the time, and grow up. They suffer a classic case of enmeshment. Kaoru determines that Hikaru needs to be shoved out of the nest– and that the only way to do that is to stab him in the back. 

I don’t think Kaoru is trying to make Hikaru hate him. I do think what he’s trying to do is make Hikaru realise that he’s a person? Who is capable of betraying him, just like any other person. As long as Hikaru believes that Kaoru is “the only person he can trust,” he’s never going to grow up. By knocking himself off that pedestal in Hikaru’s eyes, Hikaru is forced to see him differently and Kaoru is prepared to accept however Hikaru might feel about him in the aftermath (though assuming he’ll drastically distance himself). 

(Side note. I think Hikaru and Kaoru internalise their maid-related-trauma slightly differently. While Kaoru’s fear is abandonment, Hikaru’s fear is betrayal. They just manifest similarly because there’s a lot of crossover. This is sooo long already, I’m not getting into it unless someone asks lmao.)

Loop back to the image again then. What’s the difference here? Well, it’s still a stage kiss! They both are. But, with one fundamental difference. 

Image one, Hikaru is Kaoru’s audience. He is performing to trick Hikaru (and possibly anyone else, like Hani and Mori, watching). But reality is clear to us, the reader.

Image two, you are Kaoru’s audience. He is performing to trick you. (but reality is clear to Hikaru, the participant)

Like, that’s pretty in your face huh? Faces obscured in a way that you don’t infer it as a cheek kiss as easily as you do with Kaoru and Haruhi. It’s also on the left page of the physical edition, meaning you have to skip to the next page to see the aftermath:

Kaoru’s not just tricking the audience. He’s queerbaiting the audience. Typical.

Firstly, I do think one can be led to the conclusion that if the one thing they can’t share is Hikaru, not Haruhi, that means Kaoru is not in love with Haruhi but is in love with Hikaru. In fact, I think that’s kind of the point with these panels. It’s framed as a bait-switch, which only works if the audience misinterprets the kiss. My ultimate conclusion therefore is that there is no textual romantic incest occuring. It is enmeshment at a bare minimum though. But that's another topic, another day, for somebody else.

Secondly, I think this is because the audience is, regardless, on the wrong track. Or at least not the full track. We have access to the narrative when other characters don’t, but we’re still reading the story Kaoru is telling. We’re still the audience to his performance of the story. It’s easier for Kaoru to tell a story that’s all about his brother– he’s been doing it his whole life. He’s not the main character, after all. So he’s telling us a story where the one thing they cannot share is Hikaru, telling all the other characters a story where the one thing they can’t share is Haruhi. 

So the one thing they can’t share is something more nebulous. It’s the identity. 

Which feels like a contradiction in a way, because the identity is Hikaru, isn't it?

They can’t be one double act, split down the middle. They can’t be one seed sprouting two leaves. They can’t be two halves of one cookie, or two halves of one soul. And the problem is, Kaoru views everything as something Hikaru has split down the middle and shared with him– and now he has to give it all back. 

I don’t really think Hikaru views “their room” as being “his room, that I share with Kaoru.” But I think Kaoru does. I think Kaoru views everything as something Hikaru has shared with him, right down to his own personality, his own face. Hikaru cannot leave, cannot grow up, unless Kaoru stops pretending to be him and gives him the half of his identity back to make one whole, true Hikaru. 

Only problem is, Kaoru has to cut that tricky spare leaf off. After all, when he gives Hikaru back the identity, Kaoru won’t have one. Kaoru is defined as being “the one who is not Hikaru.” My brother is Hikaru. The one who is not my brother is me. And how do you define that? When your brother is no longer there, who are you? 

That’s why it’s important that Hikaru dyes his hair. Because I don’t think him dyeing his hair matters if the issue is Haruhi (Haruhi can tell them apart anyway). I don’t think it matters if the issue is Hikaru (this would not, in isolation, fix Kaoru's thought process). 

It is however enough for Hikaru to be able to illustrate to Kaoru that their identity is inherently interwoven, not necessarily shared. It doesn’t matter if Kaoru is the same as Hikaru or not– because Kaoru is who he is. That may have been affected by the fact that they’re twins, but his identity is not negated by it. Kaoru's identity is not inherently a performance just because it reflects Hikaru, and he doesn't lose it when he ceases to reflect Hikaru.

(breathes)

CAVEAT AS ALWAYS: I am reading the English translation. While it is the official Viz Media translation, something is always changed in translation, localisation, and interpretation. With the assumption that everyone here is reading the manga in English (sweeping assumption, sorry) this is therefore a reading of the text inherently coloured by the site of circulation (English translation, volume compiled) and the site of audiencing: aka the fact that I am an English-speaking, European, media studies/animation academic, speaking on an largely American blogging platform to the like, twelve Kaoru stans that follow me. It also means your interpretation may be very different to mine! Anyway If you read this far, congrats! You deserve a cookie– whatever that might or might not signify.

[maidenvault]

RotJ makes a point of letting us know that Leia is Luke's sister, they've known this on some level for a long time, and he probably cares more about her than anyone in the world because this gives so much more weight to his conflict at the end of the movie, and I think this is a huge thing people overlook when they argue that him redeeming his father represents a rejection of the old Jedi ways of non-attachment. Because in the moment he has to let go of Leia and his friends to be able to actually save Anakin.

When Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke that he has to kill Vader and there's no other way, he doesn’t really discuss it as an issue of Luke having an attachment to him. I think he knows this isn't really the Jedi way but just like in the previous war, they don't seem to be faced with any good choices. Obi-Wan believes what Luke wants is truly impossible and, having failed to stop Vader when he could have before, of course he's trying to stop Luke from making the same mistake.

But it's significant that in the same conversation, Obi-Wan does warn him that his love for his sister could be made a liability if he's not careful. When Luke learns he has a twin and reveals how strong a connection he feels with Leia because he doesn't even have to be told who it is, Obi-Wan's response sets up how this will play into the climax of the film:

"Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor."

Then when Luke is brought to Sidious, he reveals to Luke that the Rebellion is walking right into a trap as a way to torment and provoke him. Luke gets angrier and angrier while helplessly watching the fleet get ambushed and finally does just what Sidious wants and tries to attack him. But it's Vader specifically threatening Leia that makes Luke totally lose control of his feelings and fight him in a rage.

Luke is basically facing the same kind of test he failed so badly in ESB by running off to help his friends. When Yoda is trying to make him see he's not ready to face Vader and keep him from going to Bespin, he says something that I think is such an underrated quote in its importance to Luke's whole journey:

"Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could, but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered."

Luke is really lucky he doesn't get killed in Cloud City (or captured, which I think at this point could have resulted in him being turned). Yoda knows Luke is the one person with a chance of defeating the Emperor and Luke just about throws that away.

But at the end of RotJ when Luke cuts off Vader's hand, he surely is reminded of his failure at Bespin and sees the path he's starting down by succumbing to his fears like that again. He stops because he sees he's betraying his loved ones and everything he is. He can only throw away his weapon and confidently tell the Emperor to eat shit then because he's no longer afraid of dying or of those he loves dying. He's done what his father couldn't do and kept his soul intact, which is what Leia would want. Because real love isn't selfishly trying to save someone by betraying what they believe in like Anakin did with Padme. And it obviously has to be an incredibly powerful thing for Vader to see his own son able to do this, even comparing himself to the man he once was ("I am a Jedi, like my father before me").

We remember everything working out okay so it's easy sometimes to forget that Luke gives this triumphant speech when the rebel fleet is getting pulverized outside and things overall still look pretty hopeless. He probably expects he could die at this point. But like Obi-Wan in his own death scene, he knows nothing can destroy him now. And it's the love he feels for his family that gives him the strength to let go.

[loupy-mongoose]

After giving their emotions a moment to level out, Randy stepped into his vanished daughter’s room. Nothing seemed in disarray, so he knew she hadn’t struggled against a captor.

Then, he spotted it. On the desk in the corner.

A note.

He picked it up and read it aloud, struggling to keep his growing dread at bay.

"Mom and Dad I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it this way. But I wanted to know Nico in full, and I know if I told you what I was planning, you'd either stop me or come with me. Daddy, I know you're afraid of him, and I fear if you knew the past he told me, you would only fear him more. I trust he's not as dangerous as you think he is, but just in case, I'm going alone. I don't want him to hurt any of you if he really IS dangerous. I love you all, and I WILL see you later. Love Lavender."

Both parents went silent as they separately mulled it over. Randy fought to silence each possible outcome as it popped up in his mind. Trying to reach a point of rational thought. Anger and fear ravaged his every fiber.

Akoya spoke up first. How... How do we know where she went? She never told us where Nico lives...

An idea suddenly crossed Randy's mind. He turned, preparing to return to their bedroom, when pain shot through his legs.

Hrrgh!!

The shock sent him stumbling, but before he could fall he felt his weight disappear. He sighed as he was lifted to his feet beside Akoya. Nice catch.

The white-haired woman supported him with her arm. Anytime~ There was a chuckle in her voice despite the circumstances.

More carefully, they headed to their room.

All at once Randy reached for his phone and psychically pulled his cane to him, internally grumbling at his legs' mean trick. He sat on their bed, pulling up his phone's search history.

He knew that Lav had been using it, which was not uncommon. But maybe there was a clue...

...Stars?

She'd looked up star charts?

And maps...

And...

...Fuji?

He tapped on links shown to have been used. He read the articles they led him to.

His next words were spoken quietly. I think I know where she went...

Kanto.

Specifically...

Lavender Town.

Randy selected a shirt out of the closet. Amidst his fears and feelings, he noted that it was a turtleneck. Huh. Guess the cold season is here. He slipped it on.

That, or I'm grasping for some comfort...

He then pulled on a pair of pants, before leaving the privacy of the closet and approaching the Mews chatting on the bed.

At his approach, Akoya turned to face him, concern lighting her eyes.

She watched as he bustled around the room, making heavy use of his cane, looking for little things he might need and gathering them by a duffle bag on the bed.

She floated toward him. Randy...

He didn't look at her. Mhm?

Love... She moved so that she was in front of him. Please, slow down.

She transformed into her human form, but he began to move around her.

I know you're scared for her, but we have to trust that she can handle herself. She's not a helpless child.

He turned to her sharply, startling her. I'm going after her, Akoya. With or without help.

She clenched her fists, pushing back against her own fears to speak her mind. Of course! I don't expect you not to! And I don't expect you to do it alone. But we can't rush into it. We have to know what we're doing. What about the twins? Are we leaving them with Persim? Do we take them? Is Persim coming? Which would mean Rosemary too!

He throws some items into the bag ...Whatever gets us moving fastest. I'm not willing to take the chance that Lav is.

Akoya grabs his hand, losing her internal battle for control. I know! But Randall, the last time you acted rashly, it ended in disaster!

At this, Randy freezes. Akoya flinched. She never meant to use his worst experience against him, but at least she had his attention...

And if I recall... you did the exact same thing to me.

He stood still, shivering from his warring emotions. I-I know... I know... I.. I just... He started sobbing. Every little thing... that could go wrong... I can't get it out of my head... She could run out of energy, or lose control, and drown, o-or get attacked, or e-even if she does make it and meet him, he could be manipulating her!

She hughed him tightly as he melted down in her arms, punctuating his words with sniffles and sobs.

Why else would she go to meet him without telling us...?

He must have convinced her to...

R-right?

...

We can't know that. Not until we find her.

But... Just...

Take a moment to breathe... Okay?

He took a deep breath.

...Okay...

~~~~~~

PREVIOUS NEXT

ARC START | CHRONO

Happy birthday to me, have some distressed Lindens. XD

I apologize that the last portion switched from Randy's POV to Akoya's. Normally I try to avoid doing that, but I felt it flowed well enough this time. X3

[pandomech]

I absolutely love making lists and the idea of Kipperlily Copperkettle killing the rest of the High Five Heroes to turn them Rage Star controlled is eating at my brain so here is my list of the one by one deaths of the High Five Heroes and some prologue for the events as a whole. Kipperlily is groomed by Porter due to her known anger issues as well as the known dislike of the bad kids from the group as a whole, eventually leading to her accepting the path of rage on her own, this allows the High Five Heroes to start grinding on higher level monsters than just rats and other low level monsters off the books explaining the time where it was thought Lucy Frostblade was going to be Ankarna's Champion. Porter then sets the plan to Rage Star the entire group and has Kipperlily deal with them.

First is Ruben Hopclap, due to his laidback nature normally he likes to pick on Kipperlily, siding against her just to see her mad for fun, maybe in hopes she will chill out and due to this she goes for him first. While he is isolated, Kipperlily sneak attacks him, a deep stab into his shoulder, he's still alive, a panicked scream rings out as the knife is pulled and then attempted to be plunged back in, as he is able to turn and try to struggle, a hand pushing against her face as he tries to make out the melody to cast a spell, his voice is to shaky to do the proper vocal components, he was never in this type of danger before, a knife enters his head as he dies. He is the first to die being afraid he quickly accepts the offer of revival, not knowing what he signs and slowly loses his memory while under the Rage Star's control.

Then is Oisin Hakinvar and Ivy Embra, they were always teaming up to get what they wanted in votes, it was so annoying to Kipperlily, she had no help in this party and she was going to get the majority now. They were together like always when Kipperlily and Ruben attacked, Ruben casting something to restrain Ivy as she would be harder to take down compared to a wizard as Kipperlily went after Oisin, a swift dagger and he was already down, Ivy watched completely stuck as Kipperlily turned to her, Ivy can't close her eyes as her own throat is slit. Both are offered revival, both accept as what other option is there, the amount of time between Ruben and their deaths is the reason they remember that bit more after the Rage Star's effects.

Next is Mary Ann Skuttle, she never explained anything, that was so infuriating, if she just said why if any of them said why maybe it would help Kipperlily to understand but no, none of them were any help, and now Kipperlily would hear her speak. She was just buying soda from the vending machine again, like always, but this time no one seemed to be around thanks to the help from some teachers, a stab into her back, shocked eyes as she twisted around, Kipperlily was spun around with her, as the three others attacked as well, despite the shock no screams came out, how annoying defying her until the end of her stupidly silent life. When revival was offered she sighed then accepted who could choose anything else, remembering mostly everything after was fine, life could go back to being the same.

Finally Lucy Frostblade, she was always early to the monster grind spot, Porter had destroyed the trees nearby overtime, who cared about trees, it was finally time to get control with her favorite for last. Lucy greeted the others as they arrived, only to be confused as they seemed different, a knife flew to her throat, she dodged barely as the others started battle, a Monster conjured, an arrow flew for her head, unfamiliar rock music started up, all as she ran, a dagger flew into her leg, an arrow cut her shoulder, she thought of all the magic she could cast to try to fight back, get away, she couldn't bring herself to fight her friends or even run from them, she healed herself as Mary Ann tackled her, the monster stomped on her leg as she screamed asking what's wrong with them, Kipperlily sliced her throat, not wanting her to suffer any longer, she'd be back soon anyways. The offer of revival was offered, the pros and cons explained, Lucy stared back, not wanting to become like her brainwashed friends, not wanting to abandon her god, not wanting any part of this anymore she refused, of course not, in what world would anyone accept, as she waited alone for a new offer of life to come. Meanwhile Kipperlily watched as she wouldn't get back up screaming for her to awake like all the others, turning to Porter with fury, going to yell in anger only to yell in pain as she even thought of defying him, she turned back to look at Lucy, no tears left as she and the Rat Grinders left as well, they'd need a new Cleric.

Buddy came, Buddy died, was revived like the others, he was the newest, Kipperlily has no grievances about ending his life. He was released of the Rage Star with all his memories of it's control in tact, the control seemed so natural that he didn't even waver when he made a brand new god, nor when he and Bakarath were meet by Kalina.

Kipperlily lies somewhere in hell, burning, screaming with rage, she didn't deserve this fate, she was just getting what she deserved, why was she here.

Lucy was revived after being moved from the empty abyss of rage to Kristen's personal afterlife, She wanted to get to her friends, talk to them, they were brainwashed after all, who could blame them for their actions.

... and that's my brainrot on full display, I've been thinking of these collective moments since the end of the season, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the angst, have an amazing day.

[sunshine-zenith]

I got my niece some Encanto stuff for her birthday and one of them was a book with brief character bios that came with a bunch of small figures. The bio for Bruno, interestingly enough, says he was the “star” of the family once — it kinda makes him sound like a parallel to Isa instead of Mirabel

That’s a pretty cool idea, actually, and does kinda make sense — iirc the directors said Alma would depend on Bruno’s gift a lot because of the unpredictable trauma of losing Pedro. While his gift is overall different from Isa’s, it makes sense Alma would cling to their gifts the most and make them out to be Golden Children — Julieta’s gift is the most dependable so it’s easy to see it being taken for granted/her being way overworked like Luisa, and while Pepa’s gift is the most similar to Isa’s of the triplets (controlling the weather and therefore affecting the crops/growing and to a degree controlling plants themselves), Pepa has less control over her gift. Shoot, when you compare the way Alma talks to Pepa and the way she talks to Mirabel, it’s pretty similar (criticism, reprimanding, frustration)

Bruno’s gift theoretically offers a chance to prepare for/change the future while Isa’s gift is on the surface level so benign is can only mean stability — you don’t need flowers to fight a war, so if you’re given the ability to grow a bunch of flowers you probably don’t have to worry about losing everything and dying. You Can Keep Yourself Safe vs You Are Safe

The difference I guess is Julieta isn’t currently going through major burnout and ending overwhelmed with the need to protect her community and family, while Pepa isn’t afraid to snap back a bit (the advantage of age, having a solid support system in their loving spouses, having to cope with basically losing their brother, and growing up before Alma worried about losing their miracle might’ve contributed to them having a slightly better handle on their mental health and self worth)

Bruno, going off this random page in this random book for small kids, could be a dark-end parallel to Isa — someone who spent years of their life trying to do everything Alma and the town asked for to their own detriment. I can also remember a couple occasions where their body language also notably changes around/when thinking about Alma — Bruno shrinks down when he thinks about her, Isa straightened her posture, both looked apprehensive. Isa was going to waste her life marrying and having babies with a man she didn’t love and Bruno literally lost ten years of his life in the walls of Casita. The difference is Bruno’s once-praised gift eventually turned to something hated and he turned from the golden child to scapegoat, while Isa’s gift is largely unexplored by her to keep it palatable to help her avoid losing the golden child status

Or something idk y’all I’ve been babysitting all week and I’m Tired

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Heya, could I request a secretly demon MC? They’re using some type of magic to hide their true appearance (basically one like a tiefling from DnD) and have a pact with The Devil, but are now suddenly trying to break it because the M6 gave them some type of hope for their life again?

Before the M6 even discover this, the MC was brash and selfish, also fairly quick to jump to violence (though probably not Vulgora level) and quiet about their past. How would the pieces click into place for them? In case you need any extra info you can just post that mentioning this ask and I’ll try to help

So sorry if requests aren’t open, your blog description says they are but I can’t find if there is a post also saying that so I’m not fully sure. If not feel free to ignore this!

The Arcana HCs: When MC's natural patron is the Devil

~ disclaimer: this request was work shopped a little with my requester, so you'll be seeing some different info in the setting. It was fun chatting with you, new friend, I hope you like these! - brainrot ~

-- some background --

Nobody knew when it was time to go up against the Devil that you were tempted to join him. While you never let on, his voice always spoke the loudest to you in the cards, and you relished the way his cunning nature enabled your own aggressive tendencies. While in the end you were able to work with your lover to preserve Vesuvia, you still feel a little guilt for the way his words continue to provoke you.

Julian

He's not going to judge someone for their past. The way he sees it, you're working with what you've got, and you're doing a fine job. If you're a little aggressive about it, cool

No seriously, he's kind of a fan. He got to watch you kick a rude customer out of your shop once and he still lies awake at night fantasizing about it

Let out some of your aggression with him. Please.

On a less indulgent note, he knows what it's like to have tendencies he's not proud of

It was a little daunting to tell him that it had been tempting to take the Devil's side and not live with any more constraints, and that you still struggle with some guilt about it, but he listened closely

He understands the feeling of guilt for something he didn't do, but still wanted to. He's quick to tell you how he relates to you, and to remind you of the lesson you taught him to live looking forward

Speaking of looking forward, are you sure you want to stay at the shop forever? You're not that well suited to customer service

Just saying, you have the potential to make a fine pirate ...

Asra

They didn't know of your affiliation until it came time to re-teach you magic, and the strong link they saw scared them a little at first

To be clear - he wasn't scared of or disturbed by you. He just knew firsthand what the Devil could be like, and he worried what kind of harm that affiliation might cause to the person he loves so much

It was another reason for them to be so secretive about your abilities - they weren't just waiting for your mind to heal enough to hear about the past, they were waiting for you to be strong enough to navigate a connection like that

He watched you when it came time to bargain with and subsequently trap the Devil, and he is so, so proud of you

Your short temper, aggressive nature, and quickness to violence are a different matter entirely. Everyone has things they struggle to control, that's part of being a person

They've spent years teaching you not to be afraid of or upset by your tendencies

If anything, they love the chance to see you let loose for the right reason. You're stunning when you're in your element

Nadia

You shake things up and she likes it

She's so used to maintaining total control of herself and biting back her immediate responses that your impulsive aggression is hugely refreshing

It's also a nice change when most of the people she interacts with prefer to hide their thoughts and actions as much as possible

Half the time you lose your patience and shout you just end up saying what she was already thinking

She's especially happy to find that you give as good as you get, and that the chances of her doing something you don't like without you letting her know is next to zero

She was able to perceive quite a bit of tension whenever you spoke to the Devil. She could tell how tempting it was for you to join him, and seeing your decision to resist only made her fall harder for you

As a result, she likes to challenge you to see your aggression as a gift instead of as a struggle

Have you considered some form of combat training? Fencing? Wrestling? You have a gift for violence, would you like to join her royal guard?

Muriel

You shake things up and it's better for him than he'd like to admit

If you're too quick to escalate things, he's the type who doesn't escalate even when it would be the appropriate thing to do

It was hard for him to get along with you at first. You remind him a bit too much of Lucio with your quick temper and loud voice, but you have a good heart

He especially saw it when the two of you were training under Morga. He came to recognize courage in your ferocity, and started to question what made a good person a good person

Of course, he didn't appreciate it as much when he was a little too close to your sparring matches and they started to get more aggressive than necessary

He's also quick to help you re-frame your guilt around your connection - you don't think he's a bad person after what he did, why would he think you're bad for what you didn't do?

He does value peace and quiet though, so he usually suggests that you stay in charge of splitting wood and other more violent jobs, just so you have a regular outlet

Portia

You have a short temper? She has a short temper too!

You're quick to throw a punch? So is she!

You two do learn quickly that it's not the best idea to only egg each other on. It doesn't always go well when you keep throwing each other's impulse control out the window every time something happens

You'll eventually perfect the art of taking turns reeling each other in. Though sometimes you play rock-paper-scissors for the chance to demolish an especially annoying person

Being with her takes "partner in crime" to a whole new level

It's a good thing you have both Nadia and Julian willing to smooth things over with their negotiating skills if you both blow up at the same time

She never drew a connection between you and the Devil - you were too busy dealing with her Aunt Tasya

You did one day confess it to her when it was really getting to you

She doesn't think it's any bigger of a deal than you say it is. As far as she's concerned, you are you, and that's who she loves

Lucio

Honestly, it's an ongoing struggle for him not to be jealous of you

You have the same tendencies he does. You have the same affiliation he does. You were even offered a deal without having to seek it out, and he knows for a fact that it was tempting

And yet, you chose to say no

At the same time, it's a whole lot easier to accept help from you because he knows it comes from someone who understands and chooses to love him anyways

He chooses to be inspired by you instead

And he adores your comfort level with combat. You want a fight? He is so down for a fight. Say the word and he'll drop everything for a match

Let's just say that it's a good thing you two are in the career path that you are in, because if you didn't both have the chance to let off steam for a good cause that often it would be a recipe for disaster

Some people get concerned because of how quick you two are to argue with each other, but it actually works pretty well because you both get where the other is coming from and are quick to forgive

[druidshollow]

I love dune but dune manipulating fire by making him villainize descent makes me so sad.. my girl descent is trying her best, she never did anything wrong in her life ever actually

its really fucking sad man. the odds are so entirely stacked against her, she had to be careful what she said and did because flowers' position meant he could just take entire control of the kids situation whenever he wanted. she wanted to protect fire and rivers so badly, but if she fought flowers she could lose her access to them and then theyd be alone with him

this was a much larger problem after they split up and fire was gone. she wanted to protect rivers from flowers, who was repeatedly expressing reluctance to go with him, but she was afraid of flowers retorting by demanding full custody. i think ive said this before but i dont think flowers even particularly wanted rivers around. it was more something he could hold over her head, something he knew she felt threatened by and couldnt do anything about. i cant help but wonder if he gained some satisfaction in knowing that descent could tell rivers was being abused but couldnt safely stop it. see this is what i meant earlier when i was saying that he gets worse every time i write for him its so grRRRRRRRR

anyways FIRE. fire. yeah i think fire expressed missing his mom pretty often when he first got to the divide. dune felt threatened by this and wanted to assure that fire wouldnt go back to his family. how else to achieve this but to alienate fire from his family? on a surface level her logic is almost understandable; if your mother was concerned with the abuse in her home why did she never take you guys away? kids arent stupid but they are very impressionable. i dont think at the equivalent age of an 11 year old (fucking Yikes btw) that fire would have fully understood the power dynamics at play in his family. dune knew flowers was high council. she knew, at least to some extent, that the situation would have been very difficult for descent to navigate, but it suited her narrative better if she left those nuances out and instead made fire's mother out to be uncaring and inactive

i think dune did a lot of listening to fire at first, rather than guiding things. she wanted to understand the dynamics at play here before she began twisting the narrative, and she also wanted to give fire the impression that she was somebody safe to come to with his problems and feelings. the more she learned, the safer she felt twisting things

have this doodle of descent and rivers i coughed up tonight. saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad guys. the flowers effect

[writing-whump]

forgive my 200 ask at the minute, but my brain is on fire. I just love your babies, so much. Alright, so would u ever be up for writing a moment where Isaiah actually has to use his shadow on another wolf, where all his soft skills in the world fail him (the other pack/wolf won't hear him) and he's forced to let the Executioner out in front of Matt and Sel?

And not even in a bad lighting (ofc Sel will be spooked regardless), but really just a small reminder this man IS super capable and badass, even if his shadow is lowkey falling apart.

asking for a friend 🙈🙈🙈

I need you too much

Seline always felt like she had to beat the world back with a stick sometimes, to conserve her energy levels.

Everything tried to syphon her. Every class, every homework, every person, everything needed for work. And that was fine, that's why she made sure to enjoy all those things as much as she could. Careful selection.

But she still needed those precious days where she could just stay in her room and do nothing. Just her thoughts, her books, some writing done, music and daydreams. No obligations, no socialising or putting herself together.

She needed to just be with herself to recharge her batteries.

And she was careful about that time even with Isaiah and Matt. While she made an effort to be present with them, whole-heartedly and completely, to make traditions, to spend time together, there were moments that were untouchable and only hers.

But now the most terrible feeling came upon her.

She wanted to spend the entire weekend with Isaiah.

She couldn't sleep that night, thinking of how much she didn't want to go back to the house or to her room or to her books, if she could just be with him. One more day. An extra day of the week.

It wasn't a thing she felt like she could say out loud without sounding insane. Every girl in her shoes would logically want to spend all her time with her boyfriend.

But Isaiah wasn't just in the category "interesting" or "not exhausting". He was category "share every thought with", "read him the best passage on the page" and "childish kind of delight" at just seeing his face.

This was terrible. Out of control terrible, horrible.

So instead of enjoying the evening and hurrying home from class, she sat down at the park next to uni and watched the trams. Sun came and went, twilight came and went and she couldn't make herself move. Afraid to go home; afraid to completely lose herself in that irresistible desire to see that man.

Oh, this was so so bad.

Seline refused to give someone that much power over her. To hurt her, to control her. She wasn't going to depend on anyone and even less on a guy. Her thoughts were supposed to be enough to make her happy - she was enough to make herself happy.

The streets were clearing out. Vienna wasn't particularly calm at night, but the vicinity of the main university building sure missed its students in these hours.

Seline almost didn't notice, except the trams weren't coming that often and the wind was starting to howl emptily.

She should go home. This wasn't particularly secure anymore. Not that she needed anyone to feel secure. No way.

"Ah, look at that. Isn't that Seline?"

Seline blinked, getting herself back in the present.

The girl had long violet hair, a coat with spiraly patterns and long fale earrings shimmering in the steetlamp light. The other one she held around the waist had long brown curly hair and dark eyes and was considerably smaller in size.

"Hi, Violet," Seline muttered. "Bye, Violet."

Violet gave her a sly smile. "Oh you are not getting rid of me that easily. You know Seline, Cami? That's the witch that used to be in our coven."

Seline sighed, leaning back on the bench. Just the kind of theatrics she needed.

"You know why she got kicked out?"

"I left," Seline corrected, trying to not to let herself get baited into this. Violet was not worth the time to argue with.

"She believes," Violet continued, voice rising, "into the human system of work. Wants to waste her valuable magic and time for salary and live under explotative capitalist conditions. Some serious brainwashing, isn't it?"

Seline rolled her eyes. "It's called having interests outside of magic. And wanting to contribute something to the society."

"We are contributing. Our magic. A proper witch should get the freedom to develop her talents and arts."

"No, you just want somebody to take care of you just because you were born," Seline said, voice acidic. "If you can't find a wolf who would do so just cause you look pretty, then the state should do it for you. Cause food and electricity simply fall out of the sky and witches are too cool to work like normal mortals."

Violet frowned. "You just aren't skilled with magic so you look for something pathetic to fill the void."

"Yes, indeed, lot of pathetic people work at the university."

"I am at the university too."

"That's it, Violet. You are, you don't work. You just put stickers with communist ideas onto bathrooms and tables and feel important. Giving speeches about how everything should belong to everybody, because you shouldn't have to create anything of value, since you have a talent for magic."

"That's-"

"Magic," Seline interrupted, "that doesn't work on humans or for humans. It comes from wolf shadows and works only on them. Tell me Violet, what exactly is your problem? Can't find a job to your liking? Or can't be bothered to put in any effort or thought into one?"

"You should learn how to shut up," Violet was downright hissing. "So it doesn't cost you that precious job of yours."

"Are you pulling the strings now, Vi? If you at least read the crap you put on those stickers or actually went 50 kilometers to the east to see what your ideas looked like in practice in the Sowjet Union-"

"That you came from to steal our jobs and places at universities," Cami said, looking terribly proud of herself for pitching in. "Little Slavic refugee and a thief."

This is the EU, you idiot. I have every right to he here. Seline stood up, making a mocking motion as if she was tipping her head to the two witches, heart racing. "Your intelligence knows no bounds. Have a good evening, bitches."

She made to move behind the bench and to the other side of the park, when a tall figure suddenly appeared out of the shadow, blocking her way.

"If only you stayed a little bit longer, Sel," Violet said in the sweetest fake voice she could manage. "You might have had found a wolf to protect you."

...

"Isaiah, you are overreacting."

Isaiah didn't slow down at Matthew's protests as he hurried down the street, into the direction of Seline's last class.

"She should have been home hours ago."

"Yeah, maybe she found a bookshop on the way and forgot about time again."

"She is not answering me."

"Do I have to remind you of the speech she gave us both about being constantly available? She knows how to turn it off and all that crap." Despite his reassurances, Matthew jogged behind Isaiah at the same pace.

The streets were basically empty at 11 on Monday. Isaiah let his shadow up to have more senses to search with. His shadow eagerly consumed the darkness and the streets around, melting into it.

It sensed another intense eagerness just ahead of them.

Isaiah sped up into an outright run, Matthew close on his heels.

He didn't catch Seline's scent until he was almost there. They stood upwind with buildings all around, it was hard to track.

But it was Seline alright. Circled by a bunch of wolves who were throwing her around like a volleyball. Frozen solid in their grip, tyring not to show a reaction. Sign of fear or pleading would just rile a wolf up.

Wolves technically shouldn't harm witches. Witches had a powerful calming effect on them, making it very hard to be hostile to them.

But there were other witches present. Two altogether, standing a bit to the side but with good view. A wolf head over heels for a witch would be capable of many impossibilities.

The girls noticed them first, the one with blue-violet hair immediately positioning herself between them.

Matthew stopped at the sight, unsure. Wolf should not harm a witch. Not only was it physically uncomfortable, felt entirely wrong for a wolf to do so, it was strictly forbidden and looked-down upon.

A wolf should not touch a witch without her permission. Touch ment connection and connection meant magic.

Isaiah had not decided what to say yet, but he did not feel any qualms. "You let her go right now," he said quietly. "This is the only warning you will get."

The violet witch smiled widely as the wolves behind her looked up, sneering.

"I don't think you are paying attention, pal," one of the wolves said. "It's six of us. And it's only two of you. You really want to fight us?"

Might makes right kind of idiots? Fine with him.

Isaiah noticed Matthew's hesistant look, not seeing a way how to get to the wolves around the two witches he wasn't supposed to touch.

Isaiah didn't wait for him. His shadow was up and about in the darkness, covering the ground underneath them. One quick twist and they were all falling down, feet flying up as if he pulled the carpet underneath them.

The girl's smile turned into a surprised grimace.

Before anyone could move Isaiah used his shadow to sweep over the wolves, rolling their shadows one by one with smoothness of years of experience.

He stepped closer, pushing the two witches out of the way as they yelped, looking down. His shadow didn't need a straight path. And he had enough control not to touch Seline in the midst of them.

She was standing upright in the middle with a stony expression. But her arms were wrapped around her, her hair was sticking in all directions. He scanned her for any signs of blood or injury.

Not finding any didn't really quell his anger.

"I thought you wanted to fight," Isaiah said, turning back to the wolves crawling and moaning on the ground. Three were shivering without their shadows, one was curled up holding his head, one was even passed out. Rolling a shadow was never pleasant.

The last one, the one who spoke, was crawling away. Isaiah quickly closed the distance between them, kicking him into the stomach. And then in the face for good measure.

He took him by the collar, easily lifting him with one hand. "You come after my girl again, I'll rip your arms off, you hear?"

The wolf shook violently than nodded.

Isaiah turned around, his shadow riding around in satisfaction, brimming with happy aggressive energy. It wanted to make good on his threat right away, wanted to rip them to little pieces along with the witches.

Isaiah looked back at Seline and down, suddenly self-conscious of how much of those desires she could read from his expression.

Seline said nothing, retrieving her bag from the ground.

She did not take his hand, when he offered it.

...

Isaiah was sure he had fucked things up spectacularly. He went all scary in front of Seline, did not even wait for Matt to back him up. He just rushed into it with killing intent.

The way Seline got scared from Matthew's shadow, how she cried and shut him down for weeks to come was fresh in his mind, making his chest tight and dread pool in his stomach.

Seline said nothing on their ride back home and didn't look at any of them. He wasn't sure how to interpret it, she was very hard to read, when she didn't want some kind of emotion to show. But it must have been fear. What else could it have been?

Fear from what just happened and from him and from being involved with wolves in general...

When they arrived at their apartment, she went upstairs immediately. Clear signal she wanted space.

"This is going to be a problem," Isaiah said quietly, staring at the staircase.

Matthew bumped into his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"Well, look at her! She is terrified of me!" He turned around to lean his forehead against the wall.

There was angry stomping on the floor above them. Then a slam of the door.

"Yeah, I don't think fear is what we are talking about," Matthew said dryly. "She looks pissed to me."

"Huh?" Isaiah said intelligently. His brain was short-circuiting at how he just went all Executioner in front of his girlfriend.

"Yep. Stop making guesses and go talk it out. No point worrying about something that might not be true."

"But- Did you not see-"

"I saw fine. It was plenty cool, if you ask me," Matthew said with a smirk. "Shoo."

Isaiah shook his head in exasperation, but went up.

Seline was in the process of changing and getting ready for bed. She slammed the cupboards violently behind her, the doors creaking painfully as she threw them open and then shut again.

Isaiah slipped inside her room, a little stunned by the display. He couldn't remember if he had seen Seline like this before.

"Ehhh...are you okay?"

She gave him an indignant look. "I'm fine! Perfectly fine!"

Isaiah watched her as she glared at her discarded jeans and shirt on the bed, in her PJs already, suddenly grateful Seline's affinity was water and not fire.

"Why didn't- you could have called me, you know?" He said tentatively into the silence. "I would have come sooner."

"I didn't need you to come."

Isaiah's eyebrows knitted together. "Well, then you could have at least called Matthew or messaged us where you were, so if something happened, we would know to look for you."

"I don't need-"

"You message your mother when you go to school and arrive home, why the hell can't you do the same for your pack?" Isaiah interjected, voice jumping up. "If you don't want to see me, fine, if you- at least let us know you are okay. Not to mention you weren't-"

"If those cows didn't bring their wolves, I would have been alright," she said, turning back to him, her chin up.

"I don't doubt that, but they had wolves around and it's my duty as your packmember and packleader-" Why was he defending his desire to protect her again?

He knew it was the wrong thing to say by the furious look in her eyes.

"Look," he said, pressing the bridge of his nose. "Wolves are dangerous, the city is dangerous and I just want to keep you safe. You can at least make sure of that, right? If you need a break from-from me or if you are disgusted or scared of me right now- there are still ways how to-"

"What are you going on about?"

"You didn't answer my messages or my calls all day," Isaiah said. "I thought something was wrong or that you were upset with me."

Seline watched him silently as if that wasn't all.

"And...right now...That must have been scary, right? I don't blame you for-"

She gave a dramatic sight. "I was upset. But not with you."

Seline approached. Isaiah suppressed the urge to back away, keeping the space he had drawn around her in his head untouched.

Seline's eyes widened at something, then she took the last three steps between them to stand right in front of him. "I'm not scared of you. That was actually...really nice of you. To defend me like that."

"Yeah?" He rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. "I don't want you to see-"

"I have never been scared of you. Wolves, sometimes, and yelling maybe, but not you. You would never do anything to hurt me." She took his face between her hands to make him look at her.

Isaiah let out a relieved breath, putting his hands over hers on his cheeks. "Okay. That's good, I'm glad. So what were you...upset about before?"

He watched her face intently, and his heart jumped into his throat where there were suddenly tears spilling over her cheeks.

"Sel?"

"I don't-" she broke off with a shuddering breath, ducking her head. "I don't want to need you this much."

"I'm sorry - what?"

"It's like I depend on you to protect me, and-and I'm doing it all wrong. I'm not supposed to tell you stuff like this, but I wanted- I want to be with you too much." She let go of his face, hugging herself.

Isaiah had the distinct feeling he was missing something. "And that's bad how?"

She looked up at him, her eyes even bluer from the tears.

"Isn't that kind of why we are together?"

Her blond eyebrows met in the center of her forehead in annoyance. "Don't you understand how bad this is? You...you are better than my solitude."

Isaiah frowned until he remembered the quote she meant. It was one of the quote books that they read in the evening to each other, sometimes to discuss them. My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.

His heart was fluttering in his chest at the proclamation as he understood what this meant.

Not needing more reassurance than that, he scooped her up from her feet, hugging her to him. No way he was allowing his girlfriend to feel so sad about caring about him so much.

He dragged her into the bed, arms wrapped snuggly around her, and she reciprocated, hugging him just as tight around the waist. Like she couldn't get close enough.

„Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within," he said into her ear, nose in her hair. "You know that one? Cause that's how it feels to be with you."

Her breath hitched against him, her face buried in his chest he wondered how she could even breathe. But he couldn't make himself let her go.

He wondered how he ever could again.

[thedarkone121]

If Anne-Marie by accident or by some random incident, drank the HJ7 formula then what would her “Hyde” be like? Also how would Henry and Edward react?

Woo boy, Anon, you have unleashed an idea that has been sprouting in my mind ever since I read @leonenjoyer69’s story about Elias. Also, hi Leon, hope you don’t mind the mention 🤣

If Anne-Marie drank the potion, it would definitely be on accident. Not sure how she would drink it in the first place, considering Jekyll drilled it in her head to not touch/drink chemicals by herself. Still need to figure that part out.

But for Anne-Marie’s Hyde, I actually thought about what she would be like. For clarity sake, I’m going to call the regular Anne-Marie, Anne-Marie, and the Hyde Anne-Marie, Anne. I have not thought of a name for her yet.

Not going to lie, it was a bit difficult trying to think what Anne could be like since Anne-Marie definitely isn’t the repressed mess like her father is. I mean, she’s still a kid! Sure, she can put on a facade of the perfect daughter of the gentleman, but that’s only for a few hours when she and Jekyll are at a social gathering. Everywhere else, Anne-Marie is free to be her blunt, sarcastic, curious, music-and-horror loving self. Sure, she has some things about herself she wants to ignore but I don’t think she’s reached the level of Jekyll at this stage of her life.

But then I thought about those things she wants to ignore, and I realized all of that can be Anne.

Here’s some context: Anne-Marie was born between an agreement with a wealthy Englishman who needed an heir for his family and an immigrant woman named Isabella who wanted to make it by on a new land. She was originally supposed to give the baby to him and be set with money but he blew her off when he realized the baby was girl — and because he’s also a huge slime ball.

So Isabella was left with a baby that she didn’t want. A fact she made known to Anne-Marie throughout the girl’s earlier childhood. She didn’t even give Anne-Marie a proper name, often calling her “Nothing” because that’s all she amounted to her. And Anne-Marie was quick to learn that she would never have her mother’s love.

Their relationship was awful. It got to a point that Isabella abandoned her to an orphanage when the girl was five. Sure, Anne-Marie had friends but one by one, she lost them to greedy Orphanage heads that gave them away to a horrible working place.

Anne-Marie still has her scars from that time. Ones that she tries to ignore because why should she? She has everything now; a wonderful father, a home, food, and being able to pursue her love of music and other interests. What does she have to worry about?

…Losing everything. Anne-Marie might put on a strong facade but she’s still a kid. A kid who is afraid to lose everything she has.

And that’s what Anne is. Anne is all of Anne-Marie’s childish fears brought worth. Not only is she physically younger than Anne-Marie, but she acts more childish as well. Anne is a bit of a crybaby, crying from either the transformations, the pain from her scars, or the fear of being unloved and unwanted again. While Anne-Marie understands that her father is busy and can’t spend every moment with her, Anne is desperate for her father’s time and hugs.

If you thought Anne-Marie was a koala bear before then you haven’t seen Anne.

Now is the time to mention that another way that HJ7 would affect her is that there’s no communicate between the alter egos. Whether it’s due to her young age, her own trauma, or the fact Anne-Marie is a little more honest with herself, Anne-Marie and Anne can’t appear when the other is in control. It’s like the other disappears as soon as the one in body takes control. This is because I like to think the HJ7 is like a truth serum to Anne-Marie, so she’s essentially the same person but is more open to her vulnerability.

That said, learning about that scared the absolute hell out of Jekyll and Hyde. The two had already felt guilty enough since they did caused the Chemical Accident, but not only that and she accidentally ingested the potion, but they may as well accidentally erased her from existence! Basically, the two thought they killed her. The two spent good while arguing before they realized that they can still get their daughter back.

Hyde absolutely does not know what to do with Anne. He’s used to riling Anne-Marie up and getting her mad until she’s all out of energy. He doesn’t know what to do when Anne starts crying! A lot of Hyde’s interactions with Anne boils down to nervous-first-time Dad energy before he begrudgingly accepts his fate as a tree for her kola climbing skills.

Jekyll is actually more equipped to deal with Anne because a lot of her behavior reminded him of Anne-Marie during her first weeks after the adoption. Granted, Anne was more a cryer but the constant need for cuddles is still the same. Jekyll is actually hit with the good ole parent nostalgia, since Anne is so small and he ends up crying over the fact his little girl had gotten so big. Hyde tells him to get it together.

That said, those two are even more protective because of it. Especially when they realized just how much Anne-Marie’s mother had left her with emotional scares.

Hyde: If I ever meet this woman, I’m stabbing her with an umbrella.

Jekyll: HYDE! We’re going to have a very LONG discussion with her on why Annie doesn’t want to see her, that’s it! No murder!

Hyde: Alright, fine! …Can I at least get to call her foul names?

Jekyll: …

That’s all I got! I hope this answers your questions! Also, if anyone has any ideas on what I could call the he Hyde Anne-Marie, please let me know!

[amuseoffyre]

Good Omens thoughts in summary

On the whole, I’m happy with it. Won’t mind watching it again and again, definitely.

The Good:

Michael and David entirely loving their characters and each other and bringing that to life so wonderfully. The bickering and sniping and affection made me so happy

The entire Job storyline making it clear that God is as arbitrary and as indifferent to humanity and their suffering as Heaven, but Aziraphale still can’t see it because God still talks to Job when She long since stopped talking to the angels

All the tasty juicy parallels running all over the place - the realisation that actually, no Nina isn’t the grumpy signifier for Crowley, she’s the Aziraphale trapped in a toxic and controlling relationship but staying because it’s her partner and she feels she has to? And Maggie being the signifier for Crowley, the one who isn’t afraid of hard work and who will be brave and wait for the one they love?

The entire score - David Arnold is a master with his music and he inflicts musical pain so beautifully.

the sneaky little hints of Crowley’s angelic history

The ending. I know I’m probably in a minority, but I legit love that Aziraphale is still doing what he believes is the right thing to protect the world and Crowley. As Crowley said “whether it’s Hell or Heaven that destroys it, it will still be dead” and Aziraphale standing at that lift and pulling on his game face because he knows The Big One is coming. Crowley knew there would be another apocalypse, he warned him about it at the end of S1. Aziraphale’s been afraid of it for so long because he fears losing Crowley and the world. If Crowley was on the same side as him, he would have some level of protection, but even if Crowley won’t go with him, he will go to the place he fears and dislikes because if he’s not there to try and change things, who will?

the Metatron being a shady shady bitch. After all, he can’t have an angel and a demon who can summon up the power in excess of the Supreme Archangel working together when Heaven has plans in motion.

Aziraphale being a precious wee bean when it comes to looking after Maggie, purely because he likes his records.

A/C and their respective perspectives of what makes things romantic and trying to make Romance Happen. It’s also such a useful little reminder that Free Will is a thing. “we’re not toys for you to play with”.

Jim. I loved seeing how the lads interacted with him, but also how his behaviour changed and developed the more time he spent around them. Not to mention the fact that even with his memory gone, Gabriel instinctively knew Aziraphale was someone who would protect him because Aziraphale is the Guardianist Guardian to ever Guardian.

The Meh:

I am fully indifferent to the Nazi zombies. It felt pointless and was much too much unnecessary gore and time spent on body humour and body horror. Furfur could have done it solo. We could have had more of the magic act. But instead we get excessive time dedicated to lurching zombies who pretty much did bugger all aside from pull faces.

Too many new and random side characters and not enough time for them all. Some parts felt a bit scattered because there were just so many little things happening.

Beez and Gabe felt rushed. I know it was the undercurrent of the whole series, but cramming the big reveal into 5 minutes with barely hints earlier felt a bit much.

Otherwise, I know that much of this was set-up for S3. There is so much significance to the fact that all three of the flashbacks relate to times when people/bodies came back from the grave. I can’t remember Jim’s exact quote, but he cited something that I think is from Revelation about the dead rising and that is entirely fodder for S3.

[versaphile]

Another bit of Trigun meta about Vash and Knives. I’m plowing through TriMax and I got to the Ark section, and Knives sticking Vash in a cage for 7 months??? (What the hell Knives, also what the hell happened during all that time?? There’s no way shit didn’t go down. Must find fic. There must be fic.) Also sticking every other plant in a cage but. 

Back to TriStamp and Knives’ messed up plan there. On the one hand, clearly a superior plan to make all other plants Independents instead of making them all himself (though to a degree it really is the same plan, he is also trying to make all other plants himself, mirrors of himself, perfect in the way he considers himself perfect, untouchable, needing no one and nothing, superior to all other life). 

On the other hand, the method he has for achieving this plan is to literally turn Vash into a Dependent plant. Trapped in a tank and unable to act for himself, entirely vulnerable, used for what can be taken from him, used for what he can make. And Knives still sees this as purifying and protecting Vash. Turning him into the very thing that Knives fears and detests, something weak and helpless and completely exploited. 

He is so angry at Vash. Just astronomical levels of anger and hurt. With the attempted genocide and all, it’s easy to get distracted by his anger at humanity, but his anger at Vash is so much more personal and bigger. He feels utterly betrayed by every choice Vash has ever made since they were born, every way Vash was not his mirror image, every way Vash mirrored humans (Rem) instead of plants. Knives’ anger is so much because he sees Vash as a part of himself, but Vash keeps pulling away from him, keeps being something Knives doesn’t want a part of himself to be. 

But also Knives still loves Vash completely and Knives is furious about the fact that <em>Vash doesn’t love himself</em>. Vash will do absolutely anything but love and protect himself, this part of Knives that Knives can’t control. Every time Vash hurts himself for the sake of humans, it’s Vash hurting Knives, it’s Vash saying through his actions that he and Knives are not worth a single human life, that it’s right for humans to exploit all plants including Vash himself and by proxy Knives as well.

I also got to the big TriMax flashbacks to Tesla and Conrad and Vash’s childhood suicide attempt. I really hope they include some of this in TriStamp season 2, because it’s so powerful and explains so much about Vash. His desperation for clinging to life and joy even in the darkest moments, and things get so absolutely dark. His near-inability to love himself or let others genuinely love him, let their love into him. He fights so hard in defiance of his own grief and pain, in defiance of the fear and despair that almost destroyed him and Rem and Knives in one fell swoop. 

And how awful that it was Knives who trusted and loved humans more than Vash as children in TriMax. I think that’s why the trauma of Tesla consumed him. Vash was already afraid and came very, very close to letting that trauma consume him too, only for Rem to pull him back with her love. Knives felt safe and secure and then had all that ripped away in an instant, and because of his coma during Vash’s ordeal, he never had any reconciliation or healing from Rem. Not in the deep, life-changing way Vash did. And in fact, Vash’s closer connection to Rem after Tesla probably felt like an incomprehensible betrayal to Knives, the first in a long line. How could Vash love humans more than Knives, after Tesla? It was all wrong. Vash was wrong and he had to be saved from himself and from whatever the humans might do to them next.

But Rem saving Vash’s life, that made Rem a part of Vash even more than being their adoptive mother. And losing her not long after they had this life-changing experience together. It must have felt like Knives killed a part of Vash in the Big Fall. And ripping Rem away in that formative time, it made Vash this torn live wire, needing to put all that love into something to ground him, and where else but every other human? Into the survivors, people who Knives hurt just like him. People (he hoped) would be just like Rem, that would keep Rem alive in some way. 

I do think it might happen in TriStamp season 2 because there’s clear indications that Conrad was awake at some point on Ship 5. He recognizes Knives when they reunite on Noman’s Land, and he might also be the reason why Vash and Nai have secret plant profiles in the computer, since it’s unlikely that Rem would have put the data in when she’s trying to pass them off as humans.

Reading through TriMax, it’s been really fascinating to see all the pieces that were pulled out and remixed for TriStamp. Like Vash and Knives’ ridiculous conversation about running away from humans and coming back again! Almost word for word from the Ark fight. I’m so incredibly curious for what they’ll do for season 2. I still have several volumes left to read but TriStamp really plows through the themes and major plot points and character moments even in those scant 12 episodes of season 1. It makes the world feel so rich even though we only get glimpses of so many things.

Also, I kept waiting for it to be revealed that Legato has Vash’s arm but apparently that concept was created for the 98 anime?? I am honestly surprised. It’s such a fantastic idea and I really hope that’s what they’re doing with Legato in TriMax, it does feel like they’re hinting at his arm being important. And it gives me a reason to tolerate Legato, lol.

I am starting to have a better appreciation for the contributions of the 98 anime to the Trigun canon. It’s obviously much more lighthearted overall, more emphasis on the western worldbuilding while TriMax really just goes hard on the giant battles and SF as it goes on. I still find 98 a bit too goofy in places, especially the rather tedious “horny Vash” stuff (ugh). I’m rewatching now that I have more context, which helps a lot, as the back half of 98 felt like quite an abrupt shift and left me quite confused in places. 

[monocle-teacup]

Hi! I am glad that someone is interested in my posts! I think it would be more comfortable to respond to your reblog this way, if you don't mind, of course.

- On the lack of a first name

I agree, this was most likely the original plan, but it seems to me that by the end of the season the authors decided to make a completely black-and-white morality, so they had to dehumanize Meridian, and revealing the name and the emotional scene between him and Alex would not help this new idea. I don't blame it on the need to develop the plot quickly, because literally one or two lines of dialogue would fix it. So it was the authors who probably decided to go this way.

-The circumstances around him losing his arm

I understand this, and what surprises me is that there was not a single flashback or further details about this fateful event in the character's life. For example, at the GHOST base, in addition to working for Croft, he was looking for a cure for himself. The viewer could be shown some kind of screen with X-rays or diagrams in the background, where we could see some additional structures that were added by Arachnamechs. That would be an interesting little detail.

-The deal with him and Croft

Yes! I really like the way Meridian worked at these moments, his emotions and attitude towards Croft are obvious, as is her attitude towards him. My problem is that it looks like a puzzle with about 1/5 of the pieces missing. We understand what kind of picture should be in front of us, but the key point is missing. Meridian has been drafted and is supposed to hate the entire organization, not just Croft, but he's not trying to destroy the GHOST or kill other employees. Croft treats him not just as an employee who needs to be exploited to the last, until there is no replacement, as the head of a large villainous organization would behave. No, she does not feel such a level of inner hostility and does not show it towards other employees, only towards Meridian. I got the impression that there must have been a personal conflict between them, some specific event or series of events that made them hate each other. But here either the authors did not want to delve into this additional plot, or they did not come up with a reason.

I'm always up for chatting about Mandroid and other aspects of ES! It's actually quite nice to be able to actually discuss Mandroid's character deeper since IMO there's a lot to talk about.

The thing that gets me is that in the show's Production Bible, Mandroid's character description outright refers to him as a tragic villain. It's like the writers were afraid to actually explore this concept fully since that would go against the show's obsession with making humans that hate Cybertronians automatically terrible people.

There really needs to be a Battle of the Bay flashback not just for Mandroid, but so many other characters as well. Dot lost her leg in that conflict and it's when Megatron switched sides. But nope, the show was too busy bludgeoning the audience with the whole importance of family thing.

The thing about Mandroid is that from what's been shown he only goes after humans if they interfere with his plans (the Maltos) or in Croft's case, treat him like garbage. I see some fan content where it has him going after random humans when he just wouldn't do that. His main concern is Transformers not people.

I've made a post about this before, but IMO Mandroid and Croft are good foils to each other. If Mandroid is fire then Croft is ice. Croft is a very frigid person in general going by her interactions with Schloder and when she tries to arrest Dot and Alex. As ridiculous as her master plan of conquering Cybertron is, it does fit in nicely with her control freak tendencies. I mean, she has a personal army of mindless robots while Mandroid went out of his way to give the Arachnamechs personality. I have this headcanon where the two just instantly disliked each other upon first meeting.

[a-vessels-thoughts]

Decided to name this AU after Mukuro's Luck Talent.

"Makoto... What makes you the SHSL assassin? Like... I know you're a ninja, but-" his laugh cut her off, and she couldn't help but blush.

"Sorry, but I'm not really a ninja. I mean, a little, but I'm also kind of a spy, I guess?" Makoto explained, and Mukuro mumbled that was cool too. He caught it, judging by his smile.

"If I had to say..." Makoto continued, hand on his chin, thinking, "it's because of multiple factors, but the biggest one is my presence manipulation."

"Presence manipulation?" It sounded like some kind of silly rpg skill. Mukuro leaned forward with interest anyway.

"Uh, you know how I'm hard to keep track of, no matter what I'm doing? That. I can do the opposite too." She blinked at the last part; she didn't know that. The first, of course she knew, it made Makoto sorta... Clingy with basically everyone he talked to, since they could lose him at any moment.

"Can you show me the second?" Mukuro scooted back as if to give him room. Makoto hummed and nodded.

Then the entire world disappeared. It was only Makoto. The floor didn't exist, the sky didn't exist, she didn't exist-

"Uh, Mukuro? How was that?"

"Huh?"

Makoto frowned, and the question finally hit," Ah, it.. was? Sorry, I uh-"

"It's fine," he cut her off, "you know, I've also been wondering about your Talent. How does your's work?"

Mukuro couldn't fight the frown off her face. "They... don't know, not really. They know it exists and that I can negate even 100% odds, but... that's it. We don't know how I can control it, or if I even can." She hugged her knees. "The researchers can't figure out if I need to meet requirements, or if there's a cool down like that other guy's Luck, and it definitely doesn't work in cycles like Komaeda's."

Better than nothing, really. She didn't even know she had a Talent before this, but... Did it have to be Luck? Something so unreliable?

Makoto didn't say anything for a second, " you don't like your Talent," a firm statement, " I do, in fact, I'm jealous."

What? "How? Your Talent is so cool, and I didn't even know mine existed!" She sat up, staring him in the eyes.

He didn't back down, "that's precisely why I'm jealous. Mine manifested itself when I was young... really young." There was more to it, a haunted emotion she normally wouldn't dare touch.

"But you can go ghost like Toko or be the center of attention like Leon, or Sakura. You can fight like some sorta anime character, I-"

"-Had a normal childhood. No one who lived as a SHSL Talent can say that." It shut her down, took the wind out of sails right before she could get started. Guilt locked her in place.

She knew what he said was true. She could see it in the way Taka only thought in orders; how Chihiro decided to indulge fantasy rather than reality; how Kyoko saw everything as puzzle or equation to be solved; how Toko thought herself a camera more than a person.

And how Makoto never really talked about himself, only ever giving surface level details - even about personal things. Like he was afraid to get close.

"... I'm sorry." I'm sorry I'm still so, so jealous.

Revealed swaps:

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: SHSL Solider

Toko fukawa: SHSL Photographer

Mukuro can't just throw away all of her admiration, even if she knows the life of an SHSL Talent is a troubled one.

Also reuses and recontextualizes the fact Makoto barely talks about himself.