#that one and. The Ramen Shop Scene. my god. gets me every time (the end of it needs some work though)

[jichanxo]

actually am intrigued by your writing process! writing ficlets just for the exploration and all that. can you tell me more about how this works for you/how have you come up with this/all that? and do you plan on publishing the senseific ficlets somewhere in one place?

wrote a description of the entirety of how I’ve been working on sensei fic and it’s very very long, so. under the cut. (excuse my self indulgence, i absolutely could have answered this more succinctly, but i thought it would be fun (to me) to talk about my process with senseific as a whole)

I mentioned it before, but I am not a planner when it comes to writing, so I just do whatever the hell I want. and this works great since almost all my writing is short one-shots! just start on something as vague as a feeling or as detailed as a fleshed out idea and just start rolling. see how it goes. and then I go over and edit, add and cut or refine. nice and easy.

unfortunately, sensei fic doc (or rather, “yagamikuwana school au.docx” as my literal document naming goes) currently looks like this:

this includes me writing down ideas and some half formed snippets/exchanges that i’m not sure will make the cut, so it’s not an entirely accurate word count, but the point stands. it’s hardly the longest fic in the world by a long shot obviously, but for me this is uncharted territory. I just… don’t write… anything this long. ever. so sensei fic has been kind of odd because I am still very much a “just do whatever you feel like” writer, except that process has been stretched over months and months. I jump around doing different things without necessarily a coherent order, deciding depending both on what I feel like and what needs to be done

I’ll try to outline the progress behind senseific as best I remember it: well I first had the idea during my first stint with kuwagami after LJ in 2023… I can’t say I remember much from then. I started as I always do. with an idea and a dream. I wanted mundane romance kuwagami. I one day thought about if he’d somehow stay as kitakata and still met yagami. I pushed together as many pieces together as necessary to make it work (and tried to use what was already there because it would be too difficult to make stuff up on my own) – reuse seiryo high, put it in tokyo (it would be difficult to justify having yagami regularly go to the mrc if it was in another city and he didn’t have the main case of LJ to keep him around ijincho). amasawa and the club are a natural addition and an easy way to keep kitakata and yagami around each other despite an initial distaste for each other. I had a few ideas as to some of the exchanges I wanted them to have… some ideas as to fleshing out the new setting… and I did what I usually do and just riffed.

now here’s the main part of the process that I’m sure is already obvious by my saying I’m not a planner: I try to think through the internal logic of the au setting or come up with a fun idea I want to include -> I make a note of it or start writing it immediately (regardless of its spot in the fic) -> I see where it takes me -> review, add, cut, refine, consider it in the context of the wider fic. see if anything else comes up. use my best judgment and do whatever.

some of the earliest things I remember writing for this fic is the intro, a scene with kitakata being an annoying flirt (kitakata taking yagami's cigarette was an image that stuck in my head hard), and one of the first scenes with the mrc. since I wrote quite a bit out of order, eventually I ended up focusing on bridging, following the natural logic between the scenes I wanted to write, trying to connect things. the scene after the intro. whatever makes sense after that. go over everything, edit some more, make sure everything feels as cohesive as I can make it. (I think somewhere in the middle of this I dropped off until I got my second wind on kuwagami, where I picked it up again)

I have something like: intro (setting up the au and making it all clear to the reader as quickly as possible. probably inelegantly but it was a start), which naturally progressed to elaboration on kitakata and yagami’s relationship, a school club scene, me trying to think of another way to get kitakata and yagami in a room together, kaito and kitakata meeting, whatever progressed naturally as a result from that, etc. go back over, adding more things as I thought of them, fleshing stuff out (hello sawa sensei!) and all that. Though I’m working out of order, eventually a sequence starts to form. The beginning is the most fully formed rn, since I have the clearest idea as to how things should be when they start, and what should logically follow. I also like starting my editing from the top unless I have a specific scene in mind to look at, so I’ve read over the beginning the most times of anything else.

obviously I always had vague ideas as to progression, but now that I was starting to fill in more gaps, I had to think about it more seriously to ensure consistency between older scenes and new scenes. I rewrite a bunch of things for senseific not just as editing, but to add new context that wasn’t there previously, and in some cases totally overhaul them to better fit the tone, to adjust the overall progression. one of the scenes in the middle, which I mentally call “are you seeing anyone", is one I really enjoy, so I worked hard to adjust that to better suit the new context so I didn’t have to scrap it outright. on the other hand, kitakata’s phonecall scene is one that got the total overhaul treatment, because the tone no longer matched – kitakata was originally more… hm… disagreeable there, and it wouldn’t have worked with the way the yagami-kitakata relationship development was panning out, so I kept the bones but wrote it in a different direction. since nothing is really planned, most of this fic is in a state of perpetual flux. everything is subject to tinkering if need be.

it’s probably pointless for me to refer to specific scenes since they’re not posted publicly but. well. I guess it’ll make sense later if/when I post senseific. at least I know what I mean for now.

anyway, since a lot of my initial writing in the “do whatever you want” phase was about kuwagami and the development of their relationship, my first attempts at planning and organising are also about that (though I did try to keep the school stories plot in mind at the same time). I had to try and take what I already had and marry them together, make some kind of logical order.

around this time I was already on tumblr and posting some other kuwagamis and just generally feeling great about writing. I ended up showing four-white-trees (excuse my favouritism) some of my starting scenes on sensei fic since it had mostly settled down by then, and it was certainly by this point that I was feeling More Serious about making sensei fic not only Real (and genuinely trying to make it complete), but hopefully good, LMAO. not just some “if it happens it happens" venture. But yeah I was thinking more seriously about my details and getting some feedback on it for the first time and just. Man. Shit got real for me. I want to finish sensei fic even though I started it not knowing if I could commit.

ANYWAY. I was trying to lock in a sequence of events for the kuwagami relationship progression, ended up making a spreadsheet for my fic so I had a more digestible timeline to look at and understand what beats happen where, how I can smooth out any inconsistencies, where my gaps were. I’ll probably be coming back to that sheet to sort out school stories plot… but yeah. not just pure improvisation anymore.

more details started to creep out of the woodworks. I originally wrote something incredibly stupid that I ended up trying to twist into something serious lmao, and that is the um. Maturity/immaturity throughline.

Fuck. God this is embarrassing. But. I once, half asleep, wrote Yagami comparing Kitakata’s insensitive/rude flirting with him as being like a kid picking on his crush. and um. I read back over that later and. My god. You can’t just mention bullying with Kitakata around and not have it mean something. So, well, I tried to talk myself through it and arrived at something with meaning. Kitakata has to learn to not be an asshole with his flirting. To be mature about it and be a little sincere and honest and maybe not mock Yagami to his face. Yagami also learns that he’s being immature towards Kitakata in some ways and has to grow past that. They both have to grow up and talk like some fucking adults, and that’s how they can move on from the conflict that defines their early relationship. Yeah. And of course the school setting and bringing in Sawa and the students as other comparison points will help develop the theme some more. anyhow, it's not something I’ve fully sorted out, but my point is that I stumbled on this totally by accident. unplanned. I hope I can tease it out in an interesting way because it’s not quite there yet, but it’s funny how it went from a thoughtless line to something that I think is… surprisingly defining… just gotta stick the landing...

but yeah, the big picture kitakata-yagami relationship stuff was coming together. right now I’m at the stage where that plotting is as planned out as it can be without the school stories side being completed. the next big step is getting my notes so I can figure out a proper school story progression that I can line up with my kitakata-yagami plot, see how they fit together.

with regards to exploration writing – while writing/thinking about the main plot, a bunch of details have come up in passing. and while I can be vague and try to write around it, it feels so fake? It feels so obvious to me when I’m writing around something because I haven’t thought hard enough about it.

I was writing a scene where… hm… how much do I say here… Yagami has to come to understand that it’s personally important to Kitakata to make sure his students are okay, and with that is Sawa alluding to what happened with Mitsuru. and to be clear, she’s not so tactless to say it outright, but I knew, deep in my heart, that I was writing some non-committal bullshit. I was writing about her talking about what happened without enough knowledge myself as to how I think it changed Kitakata. So I forced myself to understand how Mitsuru changed Kitakata by writing about what happened between them. That’s the ficlet. And then I could look over what I wrote with Sawa with full perspective and decide if it really did sound the way I thought it should sound. I really enjoyed writing that as a personal piece of art, but it was very much a tool for my own understanding.

It’s something similar for Itokura and Kitakata now. Because my focus is shifting towards the school story plot, it raises an obvious question: If Kitakata was changed by the Mitsuru incident, then shouldn’t he have tried to do something about what happened to Itokura? (I am once again thanking four-white-trees for poking me) I can’t write about the relationship between these two in the main plot without a proper understanding of this. And I prefer to write than to plan, hence the sunday six wip. I start with a vague idea and write and see where it gets me. when I do that I’ll have a better understanding of how I want these two to operate, in a way that’s more detailed that my initial vague ideas.

That’s basically it. It doesn’t need to go in main fic but I have to write it so I feel I can make the right judgment calls. I’ll probably do this as much as I feel necessary, and yeah, I don’t see any reason not to post them since, unlike the main sensei fic which always has things changing around, these explorations should be locked in. I did make sensei fic stuff into a series on ao3, so I’ll keep putting them there as they come up.

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Emotion (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: Kakashi again...can't get enough of this mans tbh. U r an empath due to your kekkei genkai and Kakashi has always been difficult to read. Friend to lovers. Sharing one bed folks, we got some steamyyy shit here. Angst warning as well.

Word count: 6000

He was always alone. Ever since his childhood, he walked the world completely alone with only a few people there to support him. No mother, no father, no mentor, no teammates. He was at the mercy of fate his entire life, things being stolen from him time and time again. 

He just prayed that he could keep her. Y/N L/N, the only woman to have wormed her way into his heart and made a home there.

When they first met, Kakashi and Y/N, she cursed him for being such a weirdo. Apparently his mind was empty and his heart was seemingly full of sand. He was conditioned that way, and that is how he lived for the longest time. It wasn't a surprise for him to hear that.

But she thought it was stranger than anything she'd ever seen, and so she followed him. She would figure him out, bring him back down to Earth from his supposed high horse. That woman was determined, and frankly he didn't mind her being around. She was quiet enough that it didn't matter. Not to mention on the missions they had together, she was quite the partner.

Over time, she'd learned to read him like a book. It was part of her clan's kekkei genkai. The ultimate empath, I suppose. The ability to read a persons every single emotion and then turn that, if they so choose, into power. 

She was never the greatest fighter, but her negotiation skills were the best they could possibly be. She would dive into the emotions of another and manipulate them backwards and forwards to get what she wanted. 

It was overwhelming, walking into a room of people and immediately being bombarded with so many feelings coming at her all at once. Occasionally, if the situation was bad enough she'd have to take a seat and clear her mind, organizing each person in her mind like a filing cabinet of empathy.

But damn, did she try to weasel out every bit of feeling she could. It was just something that came so naturally, she couldn’t help but instigate whatever was brewing up inside him.

"Kakashi, if you're happy, you know you're allowed to express it. You don't have to hide it away," she told him, staring at the masked man sitting across from her at the table. He was watching as she sharpened her kunai, and she could feel the content running off his body in small bursts. He was feeling better. Better than he had in a little while. Of course she picked up on it.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. She was always reading him, he knew that. He just preferred when she refrained from mentioning it. It did, most times, feel like a bit of an invasion of privacy, how she could deep dive into the corners of his mind. There were things no one else could ever possibly know that she did. It was strange, but he was used to it.

"What? Want me to smile or something?"

"No, but you should let yourself go. Just drop the facade."

"Stop doing that. Getting into my head."

Quietly, she set down her blade and picked up the next one, taking a cloth and softly wiping away any dirt. Her eyes slide up to his for a moment, her all knowing gaze filling his vision. "It's basically impossible. Especially if you're the only one around. There's nothing else to focus on except you." He knew that. It wasn't like she had an on or off switch. That was the downside of this dojutsu. Unlike sharingan and byakugan users, hers was always pulling the strings of her brain.

"You've got that mission next week. With Naruto and a few of the other kids, right?"

"Yes."

"It's A rank, isn't it?"

She hummed in agreement. He had a habit of knowing about all her missions, more importantly being the dangerous ones. He wasn't necessarily scared for her, probably not. He was more cautious than anything. There was this nagging feeling in his head that he shouldn't let her go on these missions alone. That it was too dangerous for her to handle. 

But he was wrong. She was stronger than he thought, and could hold her own in battle. He was just a worrier. He'd just lost too many, seen too many bodies in front of his eyes to trust. God, he wanted to trust her, but he couldn't. She was too vulnerable. His friend, one of the only ones who hadn't died yet. For all he knew, her days numbered, that's how paranoid he was about everything.

"You'll be careful?"

"That's a silly question." He gave her a look that said he was more serious than anything, and she sighed. "Of course I'll be careful. I have people that would miss me if I wasn't." He was one of them. She could sense his fear whenever she said goodbye and his relief when she returned. He really tried to remain objective, but his heart said otherwise. 

And she would be a liar to say that she did not experience the same relief seeing him come home from missions, even if he was beaten and bruised to the bone, she was just happy he made it back. So many never got to come home. It was a sick world, they lived in, but she could relish in the little comforts.

"Don't worry about me. I'll always turn out fine. It's you and your dumb students we have to worry about."

"I hear you. Those kids are enough to drive a person mad." He rested his chin in his palm, the mere thought of those kids causing his blood pressure to rise.

"Thankfully my students never gave me any trouble. Sweet little things."

"Well, aren't you just lucky, Y/N?"

"What can I say? Kurenai and I got the luck of the draw with our students. You men had it rough, I have to admit," she laughed. It was funny that he was so unfortunate to have gotten assigned the Uchiha and the Uzumaki, two completely opposite but persistent forces. "Despite your perverted tendencies and your perpetual lateness, you still did a great job teaching them."

"Thanks. But do you really have to call me a pervert? I'm really not."

"Yeah? That explains why you read porn in public. Admit you're a pervert, you dumb old man."

"We're the same age-" he began to argue, but she just cut him off with her harsh words.

"Creep," she muttered, running the sharpening stone along her blade. He narrowed his eyes. She was being awfully annoying, and he knew she could sense his irritation building up. Yet she continued just to be a pain in the ass.

 He warned, "Hey. Watch it, L/N."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop...Pervert." She ducked her head when his hand reached out to wring her around the neck for being so frustrating, and she continued to laugh. It was nice, having a friend she could joke with and be around without having to worry about what she said. He might pretend to be mad, but she could feel the happiness still rolling off his body thickly under all that fake neutrality. 

He was happier than he'd been in a long while, and she found herself swelling with pride knowing that she might have helped make that happen. Her lips curled into the gentlest of smiles as she peered back up at him, and he found himself smiling back even if it was just through the mask. 

He swore in that moment, he'd make sure Y/N didn't end up like all the others. She would live. He'd break this wretched curse just for her. He was sure of it.

______

"How could you be so reckless?! Do you want to die?" Kakashi shouted at his friend who could only stand there angrily, arms crossed over her chest and one foot in the other direction. She didn't need to be lectured by someone who took just as many risks every single mission as she did.

"Kakashi, I really don't want to hear it. You have no idea how it went."

"Yeah but Naruto does, and we were just talking."

She placed her free hand over her chest and exclaimed even angrier than before, "You're going to trust a kid over me? Naruto even?" It was just low to trust Naruto when she was right there to explain herself. Just let her speak for once, she wanted to say but he of course, had something else to say.

He waved his arm toward the ramen shop, eyes glaring. "Don’t be rude. He's right there. What is wrong with you?"

Indeed, Naruto was sitting inside Ichiraku with Jiraiya at his side, munching on pork ramen while the pair fought outside. Kakashi was eating with them, taking a break from his work to just relax with his master and student when out of the corner of his eye he noticed Y/N stumbling down the street on her crutch. 

He heard when she got back home that she was in the infirmary for a couple days. He had no idea for what reason until Naruto explained to him what happened. She was being needlessly reckless on the battlefield, relying too much on her kekkei genkai and not enough on her brain. She threw herself right in the way of an enemy, for what reason, he didn't know. All he knew was that she could have died and she didn't seem to care one bit.

Rightfully so, he was mad. Normally he preferred not to make a scene in the open like this, but there wasn't anyone else around and he was red-hot.

She huffed. "He knows I don't mean anything bad by that. How could he not? I'm also his sensei, you know."

"Doesn't matter," Kakashi brushed off her words. "What you did was dangerous and you don't seem to care. Next time what are you gonna do? Run right into the arms of the enemy?"

"No, I would never. Kakashi, you're just being a jerk right now. I'm literally injured from the hip down and you have to yell at me? Jeez, just be grateful I'm alive, okay? Things happen," she tried to reason with him, but he didn't acknowledge it. He wasn't exactly feeling all that rational.

"Things don't just happen like that."

She groaned, "Well apparently they do, because it happened to me."

His eye narrowed and she noticed the way he clenched and unclenched his fists a couple times by his sides. Clearly he was just trying to channel his anger, but he really had no reason to be so upset. She hadn't done anything to him. He really needed to relax. "This is so like you L/N's. Always so emotional. Always thinking you're stronger than you actually are."

"Excuse you-"

"Get a grip, you aren't going to live forever."

"First off, don't interrupt me. Second, don't talk about my clan ever again, you hear me, Hatake? We don't live to please your dumbass," she cursed, how dare he say shit about her clan. That asshole. He was just being so...so unlike himself. She had no idea what had gotten into him, but she hated it and just wanted to continue on her way before he said something else stupid. 

Normally, she didn't expect to be bombarded in the street nearly the second she leaves the hospital, but Kakashi never fails to surprise her.

"I've got to go. Don't bother following me." With that, she took off past him, rushing as fast as she could on her crutch, which was pathetically slow. Silently, she cringed at how ridiculous she must look waddling around like this in a fit of rage. Nevermind that. She had better things to do.

He huffed out the breath he had been holding to walk back into the ramen shop, taking his seat beside Naruto and slouching down into the stool. Immediately, Master Jiraiya met his eyes, wisdom about to drip from his tongue once again. "You need to go apologize."

"Why? She clearly doesn't want that right now."

"Well, to start, you insulted her clan which is a big no-no. Imagine saying that to an Uchiha. You're lucky she let you off so easily."

"Yeah, Kakashi. You kinda just attacked her out there in the street," Naruto added.

Jiraiya continued, "Mainly though, the longer you let her stay angry, the worse it'll be for you in the end. Trust me."

"She said don't follow her."

"And you're actually going to listen?" The older man laughed. "You and her fighting reminded me a lot of young Tsunade and I. And let me tell you, you don't just let a woman like that go. I sure did. It’s not a fun time."

"Yeah, Kakashi sensei, go find Y/N."

The jounin stood from his stool and slapped a ramen voucher onto the counter top to pay for his meal. This really didn't seem like a good idea, he had to admit. But he would trust the process. This was the author of his favorite romance series, after all. How could he get something like this wrong? To put blind faith into Jiraiya on realistic romantic matters was probably the not the wisest thing to do, but it was the only thing he had to go on. "I'll go, but this doesn't sound like good advice."

"If you let this go, she's might run into the arms of another man for comfort. Do you want that?"

Tch, there was no way she was gonna do that. She barely had any friends. If anything she would go see Kurenai. Still, he pulled back the cloth at the entrance and muttered, "I gotta catch up to her."

"'Atta boy," Jiraiya cheered, waving off the copy nin. "Another bowl, Naruto?"

"Yes, please!"

Kakashi walked down the streets, looking for the woman he was sent on a mission to find and apologize to. He searched through the shops and the stands for her, walked by her apartment no sign of her. It wasn't until he stumbled by the bookstore that he found her eyeing down the display out front, leaning comfortably on her crutch.

"Y/N," he called to her, and he watched as she tensed up without a second. He caught up to her, walking to stand beside her in front of the store windows. "I need to talk to you."

"What do you want?" She questioned, peering over at him with a quirked brow. He seemed calmed down by now. Thankfully. "Also, didn't I tell you not to follow me?"

"You did, but Jiraiya told me to apologize."

"So this isn't even on your own accord, you're doing it because Jiraiya told you so." He groaned. Of course she would twist his words and find some way to make things bad on his end. She was angry with him, what did he expect to happen? Her to accept him with open arms?

"Listen, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was just overwhelmed."

"With what? I wasn't paying attention to anything but the anger." She picked at her finger nails in an attempt to remain casual, but really she was just itching to hear what he had to say. She was willing to give him a second chance, only because he was normally so sweet. This was just out of character for him.

He replied, "I was scared for you. Naruto told me about how you nearly died, and I was upset that you did that. I was upset because I could only think about what if you had been overpowered and the enemy killed you." His explanation was weak, but he hoped she would accept it as truth. He really wasn't lying. When he heard she was in the hospital indefinitely, he nearly had a heart attack himself. He worried for her every time she left on a mission without him. It just meant that if she failed, he wasn't there to protect her himself. He couldn't handle that thought.

"So you were worried?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's sweet of you, isn't it?"

"I'd miss you, you know. If you died."

She froze. That wasn't what she expected him to say. When she looked over at him, he was just staring into the storefront window, but she could feel the sadness in waves running off his body. She wobbled around on her crutch to face him, a hand getting coming up to rest on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"I don't want you going on missions without me because every time it scares the shit out of me thinking they'll bring you back dead. Every time. I don't know why."

"It's normal to worry for your teammates."

"It's not the same, and you know it."

"Ah." And she felt it. Even if it was just a little hint of something, she felt his infatuation roll off his body and she took it in like a drink of cold water. So refreshing. Was he attracted to her? She had no idea before this that he cared so much but from the sound of it, he had some strong feelings attached. She wanted to reach out and hug him, tell him it was going to be okay, but that felt too personal. Instead, she leant back and muttered, "You know, Kakashi, I worry about you too."

"It's good we both have someone who cares, right?"

"Right."

"Well, I should be on my way, but, uh, if you need some help getting up to your apartment-"

"I should be fine."

"Okay, good."

"Yeah, so uh, see you," she turned on her heel and started heading in the other direction toward her home when suddenly, his hand reached out to stop her. 

"Wait, Y/N. I think..."

"What is it?"

"It's just that I need you. Please be careful from now on."

She stopped, turning around just enough to get a good look at his face. He only watched her, a glimmer of something she didn't recognize in his eye. 

"As long as you take care of yourself too, Mister."

"Y/N, I…"

All she could feel was a rough fabric rubbing against her face for a second before the full picture came into view. 

Mask to lips. I repeat, mask to lips.

She stared at him, as he kissed her right there in front of their favorite bookstore. When he pulled away after a second, he seemed just as shocked as she was. She pressed a hand to her forehead and struggled to find the right words to say. 

Kakashi Hatake just kissed her. 

And she definitely liked it. More than any other kiss she’d ever had before. She loved it. Mask or not, that was one of the best surprises of her entire life, and she honestly had no idea how to react. She settled for the easiest possible thing, running in the opposite direction, give herself time to think over what that meant for the two of them if anything at all. Kakashi wasn’t the type to have a girlfriend, he was always single. There just wasn’t room in his life for her.

There was plenty room in her life to fit him in comfortably. And there was more than enough room in her bed as well. 

Flustered, with heat coming to sit in her cheeks and run up her neck, she turned and motioned in the direction of her home. She just had too many thoughts to sit here and pretend she wasn’t dying inside from the tension.

"I've got to run home now," she managed to say. "Well, not run, with these crutches and all, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I should be going too. I'll see you around,” he mumbled, running his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

"See you."

And into separate directions they went, just as confused as ever.

______

"Kakashi, I swear to God, if you don't stay on your side of the bed, I'm gonna-

"You'll what? Hit me? Go ahead. You're the one that keeps snoring."

"Shut up!" she exclaimed, rolling over in the bed and planting her fist directly in the middle of his chest. He didn't even flinch, she hadn't meant to hurt him anyway. She was just so annoyed. You would think that the stoic Hatake would be easy to sleep beside but no, he was a pain in the ass. He was rude. He was way too hot under the sheets. He still smelled like dog even after taking a bath. Just overall a bad experience, definitely 0 out of 10.

"What? It's the truth."

She groaned, throwing one of her arms over her eyes, burying her nose in the crook of her elbow. "Whatever. Don't ever mention my snoring again. It’s embarrassing me." She was self-conscious. She was usually so good at maintaining a cool and calm presence and now Kakashi was seeing that all crumble. Great. 

"Fine."

"Can't you just stay on your side so we can both sleep comfortably?"

"Can't you just stop snoring so I can sleep comfortably?" 

What a bastard. She could practically feel him snickering beneath his mask, and she felt frustration bubbling up in her chest. He was annoying. The audacity of this man, laughing and causing trouble in the night when they clearly had a mission to continue tomorrow. She could actually feel the delight radiating off his form.

She jumped up from her spot and threw herself onto the man beside her, attempting to make a vicious grab for the throat so she could maybe shut him up for just a few seconds. He dodged easily, taking her wrists in his calloused hand and lowering them to rest on his chest. Still, he continued to laugh at her. She felt like an utter joke sitting there on his stomach, looking at him through loose strands of her hair. 

She grumbled under her breath, her cheeks puffing out full of embarrassment, "Stupid."

"Me? Stupid? Look at you."

She replied swiftly, "What about me? You're the one with that ugly grin on your face." Quickly, she snatched her hands out from under his to cross her arms over her chest. She rocked back a bit on her knees to get a better look at his indeed ugly face. 

Except he definitely wasn't ugly, and that grin was more devilishly handsome than anything else. And honestly, she felt herself starting to get flustered in the position she'd put herself in. Of course she didn't hate Kakashi. He was one of her friends and coworkers. It was just that sometimes he could be casually attractive and she found herself falling under his spell. 

He just looked so fucking good lying there, staring up at her with a glimmer in his dark eyes. She could see the smile outlined under his mask. His hands had felt warm and firm around her own fingers. She missed his touch, there she said it, any touch on her body from Kakashi Hatake felt like heaven. He was far too cute, and the soft contact between them drove her crazy.

She wanted to punch herself for thinking such silly things. This was Kakashi, one of her frenemies. Not boyfriend material. Stupid. Silly. 

If only he didn't look so good, Jesus christ. Get your brain out of the gutter, Y/N.

Little did she know, his mind was already waist deep in those damn gutters and he was loving it.

"You really think that?"

"What? That you're ugly?" She asked, tilting her head to the side just a bit as if to think about it. Only a second later, another mischievous smile crossed her lips. "Of course."

He lifted his fingers to slid along her waist and down to her hips, fingers curling ever so slightly around her curves. She shuddered as his hands slid down to hold the sides of her bare thighs in his hands, his warm, strong hands with the softest fingertips. She wanted to die.

Had they kissed before? Yes. We're they somewhat romantically involved? Maybe. Did that give him any good reason to rest his rough hands on her thighs like that? Probably, and her thoughts were running a mile a minute at this point. 

"Kakashi...stop that," she said softly, her voice lowering from how it was before. She suddenly felt a lot smaller, scared even. Hooking up with Kakashi wasn't something she planned on doing anytime in the near future, if at all. He was her friend, and she felt strange sitting in his lap with his hands all over her. It felt so right but wrong at the same time, like she was breaking the law. Well, laws of friendship that is.

She cared about Kakashi, more than she wanted to admit. He wasn't just a friend, he was something weirdly in between and she couldn't exactly put her finger on how she felt about him. All she knew was that if she was going to have sex with this man, it would be the right way. They would have to date first. She wasn't just gonna sleep around this time. He was different. 

She wanted to impress him, to make him smile and laugh, to take him out to dinner and hold hands on their way home, to kiss at her doorstep. She wanted all of that before any of this.

His hands dropped from her sides and she crawled away from him, grabbing her blanket and cradling herself in it. "Listen, Y/N, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I know, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

It was quiet. Just the sounds of both their breaths filling the air and the crickets chirping in the darkness outside. She shifted in her blanket to rest her head on the wall, leaning against it with her shoulder. He remained on his back, staring up at the empty ceiling tiles. 

It was now so terribly awkward. Thanks, Y/N.

Finally, he broke the silence. "You, uh, don't snore all that much. I was just teasing you."

"Thanks," she exhaled. "You're not as ugly as I said."

"I know."

Wow, Kakashi. So modest.

Her words fell right into place as she spoke, emotions slipping out with each breath. She looked at his profile in the dark, the way his bedhead stood on end, his nose pointed upward and his lips sat calmly, the curve of his chin under the edge of his mask, the way his eyes just sat there unmoving and gentle, brows soft above the eye. She took in all of him as she confessed, "I just don't want it to be like this. I don't want to fall for you this way."

"I get it."

"I just think that you and I could be something different. You're not like the other guys to me, at least, I don't think of you that way," she took a deep breath. He still stared deep in the ceiling, and somehow it made her comfortable enough to confess everything she'd been feeling. It was as if he could just lay there and listen without words forever. "I don't want you to just fuck me before we really...well I don't know, we've never even been on a date. I...I think I'm ready to fall in love with you."

"Then let's do it."

She peered over at him, lips agape with surprise. She hadn't expected much at all, but certainly not that. "What?"

"When we get back to the village, I'll take you on a date, more if things go well. We can take it as slow as you want," he told her, turning to lay on his side, facing her. He watched as she cuddled further into the comforter, only a peek of her face in his view. She was actually kinda cute through all those worn and torn layers. "I don't think I can let you go this time."

"Really?"

"Anything for you."

She ducked her head down to stare at the hardwood beneath her feet. She was overwhelmed by how nice he was being. Normally, it didn't go like this. Things normally got sexual so quick there wasn't even a chance for these sorts of conversations. It was just different with Kakashi. She could say no to him and expect better, because she knew he could deliver. "No one has ever treated me like this before."

He smiled. "Well, it's about time someone did."

"Can you hold me?"

"Come on." He lifted his arm up with the covers attached so she could crawl over and burrow herself next him, tucked right against his side. He rested his arm around her shoulders and held her close to his chest. Things were looking good for the both of them. Better than they had in a long time.

He wished this kind of thing could last forever. The beating of her heart, the laughter in her voice, the shine in her eyes. He just wished he could have bottled it all up and held it close to him for the rest of his life. 

But he waited too long, and the opportunity slipped from his grasp.

______

The pair fought hard. Kakashi was better than her, everyone knew that. The enemy targeted her for that reason. It was clear as day that she was important to Kakashi, and the enemy quickly caught onto that. He was quick to bring the knife to her neck, pressing the woman’s back tightly to his chest. The blade stung her skin, already piercing the flesh from the bit of pressure he applied.

She cried out, feeling a trail of blood begin running down her neck. Her nails clawed at his arm, desperate to get him to release her from his clutches, but he persisted. One hand held onto her chin tightly, keeping her face from thrashing, and the other continued to apply more and more pressure into the blade. 

For the first time in a long time, she found herself feeling unrestricted fear. She was scared. Scared for her life. She’d never been in this situation before, feeling so completely and utterly helpless like a deer caught in the headlights. Kakashi was right there, she should have known everything was going to be okay. After all, she had the village’s strongest veteran on her side.

It wasn’t the pain that caused the tears to bubble up in the corners of her eyes, no, it was Kakashi. The way his eyes darted over to the them, and she could feel his heart beginning to race, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end, and the fear creeping up into his heart. He never wore his heart on his sleeve. He was so closed off, sometimes she could only get a wisp of emotion from him, especially the ones that showed such vulnerability. 

Now it all seemed to come tumbling out like a landslide. She was drowning in fear, his and her own. 

“Let her go,” he called out, practically pleading with the man across from him, but it was in vain. 

“Like I’d listen to some filthy leaf shinobi,” the spy replied angrily. He felt so hot, burning up with so much anger she wanted to throw up. What had they done to upset him this badly? Her jaw was starting to ache from being held so tightly, and she swore she could taste blood running down her throat. This was bad. This was so terribly, miserably bad. 

Kakashi stood there, his hands hovering at his sides, unknowing of what to do. She was already bleeding out all over the collar of her shirt. If he made a single move, the man could easily finish the job with one fatal swipe. The copy nin felt cornered. Hopeless. What was there left to do? He’d let the love of his life fall in the hands of some petty criminal. 

Come on, think of something. Anything. Just think of something.

“What? You upset I’ve got your little girlfriend here?”

God, he was so desperate. The man taunting him didn’t help at all. He just felt himself spiralling deeper into hopelessness. He bargained, “Please, just let her go. I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

It wouldn’t work though. This man was set in his ways, and there was no changing that. He came into this fight knowing exactly what he wanted to do. And he was going to finish the job. 

“This is for what you shinobi have done to my people,” he sneered before she felt the knife dip further into her neck, sliding painfully across her throat. He dropped her head from his grasp, and as soon as he had, her body crumbled down to the ground. She collapsed in a bleeding heap on the dirt. 

The criminal quickly ran into the forest behind them, getting lost among the trees and the bushes within seconds. None of that mattered though. Kakashi could only run over to her limp body lying there on the ground, sputtering and coughing on thick blood filling her throat and lungs. Her cheeks and lips painted red now from spitting so much up. He fell to his knees beside her body, and for the first time in a long time, he felt a tear drip down his face.

She cried, hot tears running down her cheeks into the dirt on either side of her head. She cried for her pathetic self, having been attacked and injured in this way. She cried for Kakashi, feeling the pain and sadness, the panic, radiating off his form. She took in every emotion he was feeling, wanting to savor being with him for as long as she had, to fully take him in one last time. 

“Y/N, it’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, his hands running over her hair and cheek, smearing blood on her skin and his fingers. “We’ll bring you back to the village. The Hokage can fix you.” His words were so soft into the air, like if he spoke any louder he would hurt her.

They both knew that none of what he was saying was true. She was as good as dead.

She lifted her hand weakly to sit on his other hand. “I…” The woman took a labored breath.. “Love you, Kashi.”

“No, no, no. Don’t say that,” he hushed her, feeling his heart grow heavier in his chest with every second that passed, every look at her bloody neck and face, her laboring chest as she took hopeless breaths. He was falling apart in this moment, desperate for fate to change, for her to magically be better. He choked, “You can’t die, Y/N.”

“It’s okay.” Her words were slurred and hard to hear, liquid bubbling up in her throat to the point she was almost incomprehensible. “I love you,” she confessed once again. She wanted those to be her last ever words to him, the words he would remember for the rest of his life. To know someone out there loved him more than anything else.

He had to know that he was her everything. He was the best thing that ever happened to her, and she was going to miss him so terribly wherever her soul went after this. She just wished there was more time to tell him everything she felt. Yet, time was passing faster than she thought, and all those words felt impossible.

“I love you, too. You have to live for me. Just keep breathing, it's going to be okay.”

“It...hurts.”

More misery erupted his chest, and he found himself wanting to scream. Tears dripped steadily down both his cheeks now as he watched this woman die in front of him, one of the only people he truly needed in his life. “I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry I let this happen to you.”

She nodded faintly, her eyes beginning to close. He was starting to panic. Was this his last moment to say goodbye? Their time together was so short, how was this fair? He’d already lost everyone he ever cared about, and now this? He felt like the gods were laughing down at him and his misfortune. 

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know how I’ll do this without you.”

She didn’t respond, but she was still breathing. 

“Y/N, please.”

And he watched as her chest fell still and her labored breaths were silent on his ears. He found himself gathering her form up against his chest, her head cradled in the crook of his neck, just sobbing into her hair, weeping for a long lasting love gone in an instant. 

 He carried her body home that day himself. Something he never anticipated happening, but should have prepared for. He always thought he was going to watch as someone else carried her home to him, death long gone before he had the chance to see. He never thought it would be right in front of him. He thought he could protect her, save her from the clutches of fate. He was so wrong.

Kakashi was alone once again.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Honeysuckle

hi i have no self control and really really really love tattoo artist!jaskier so here we are again. this is a prequel to the nipple piercings fic wherein geralt is absolutely smitten from day one. not the same vibe but im telling myself thats to be expected bc these take place like five years apart lol

Warnings: tattoos. if they make you squeamish this is not your fic, swearing, mild anxiety, not much else

___________________

Geralt’s palms were sweating when he walked into the little tattoo shop above his favorite deli. The artist he booked was nice enough in the email, and the front desk gal was sweet on the phone, but he’d never gotten a tattoo before and his anxiety was telling him to run home and bury himself under all the blankets he owned. 

A familiar voice greeted him when he came through the door, “Hey! Sweet, you’re early! Jask is just setting up the chair!” 

The coily brown haired receptionist gestured to a black leather couch across the room and Geralt just barely caught a glimpse of tattooed vines from under her hoodie sleeve. He nodded and smiled, taking a seat and trying not to look so stiff. The receptionist called another artist over and Geralt was surprised when the taller, purple eyed woman wrapped her arms around her shoulders and placed a kiss on her cheek as they looked at the monitor. It was the good kind of surprise, Geralt decided, the kind that sets you at ease when you were gearing up for a fight. The receptionist caught his unintentional smile and winked at him before he suddenly found his nail beds fascinating.

“You Geralt?”

His eyes scanned over the man asking from bottom to top and nearly lost his ability to speak, “Hm? Thats me.”

He looked like he came straight form the Seattle grunge scene in the 90’s, but showered and with beautiful floral blackout sleeves up to the wrists on each arm. It seemed the only color over his whole body was the few yellow buttercups scattered through the pattern, ending in a bouquet of all sorts of plants and flowers and herbs at his collar bones, only slightly covered by his Heathers on Broadway tank. 

He flicked his wispy brown hair out of his unreasonably pretty blue eyes and smiled so brilliantly Geralt had to remember to breathe, “I’m Jaskier. Come on back!”

Geralt gave him a curt nod and stood to follow. 

“I hope you brought shorts, it might be a bitch to walk home in that.” Jaskier said, leading him into one of the rooms down a long hallway.

Geralt was suddenly regretting listening to Lambert. He wanted to melt into the floor when he realized he would have to say this to the beautiful tattoo artist’s face, “They uh… they zip away…”

“Oh my god.” Jaskier breathed, finally looking at Geralt’s knees, “I didn’t even know they made those anymore.”

“I swear to god, my brother wears them for work and told me to-”

Jaskier waved his hand, clearly holding back a smile, “No worries, Ron Stoppable.”

Geralt rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep from smiling, “Do you make a habit of making fun of your clients?”

“Only when I’m sure they can handle it,” he teased, “Now off with the hideous zipper pants, I gotta shave your thigh before I start the drawing.”

Once Geralt was shaved and positioned every which way on the table/chair contraption, he finally got to see the rough sketch. The marker felt cool and tickled the back of his knee, but surprisingly to him, he kept up a relaxed conversation, almost flirting before he thought better of it. 

“Do you like where everything is? Want any more grass? Or flowers? Now’s the time for changes, don’t be shy.” 

Geralt turned his leg this way and that, looking at the little blue and purple marks in a band just above his knee in the mirror, “You’re the professional, what do you think?”

Jaskier took a step back and reached for a roll of paper towels and a bottle of rubbing alcohol, “You said this was your first tattoo right?”

Geralt nodded.

“Okay, one less flower on the back then.”

“Why?”

“It’s one of the most painful places to get tattooed.”

“Keep it. I like it.”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow, “Alright, Hot Shot. Face down, we’ll start there first.”

Holy fuck Jaskier was right. Geralt had a high pain tolerance, but this was a whole different kind of pain. He had his arms crossed under his forehead and was doing his best to take deep, even breaths but Jesus Christ, that little chuckle-fuck just kept going over what felt like the same spot. But hell would freeze over before Geralt tapped out, so he forced his breath out and kept going.

“Why honeysuckle?” Jaskier asked as he sat back to dip the machine in more ink.

Geralt took the opportunity to shift a bit and breathe easy before he lied, “Just picked it.”

Jaskier’s hands were back on his thigh, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s just not something I’m asked to do very often. Never for a first tattoo.”

Geralt’s smile turned into a grimace as the needles were back at his skin. Whether it was his sincerity, pretty eyes, or Geralt’s desperate need for a distraction, he bucked up and answered his question, “My- ah, someone told me to find a reminder of things I loved. My horse eats nothing but honeysuckle whenever we go on the trails.”

"That's so fucking cute," Jaskier sighed, still attacking the back of Geralt's leg, "Wouldn't have pegged you for a horse guy. What's their name?" 

The pain was easier to ignore when Geralt was rambling about Roach. Jaskier kept the conversation flowing, maybe indulging Geralt’s ramblings a little too much, but by the time he flipped Geralt over to do the inside of his knee they were joking and swapping disastrous college stories like old friends. They took a snack break where the purple eyed woman, Yennefer he'd learned, made fun of his zip shorts and Triss scolded her. It was nice, he felt oddly at home here with these people he’d just met. 

The front half of the tattoo was nothing compared to the back and Geralt was able to breathe and just chat. He did his best to convince himself that the feeling in his chest wasn’t disappointment when Jaskier finally finished and wrapped his leg in saniderm. 

Jaskier leaned on the front desk while they waited for Geralt’s card to run, "What are you doing after this?" 

Geralt's stomach turned with nervous excitement and he truly didn't know how he got his words to come out so casual, "Was just gonna get some ramen and watch reruns, why?" 

Jaskier worried at his bottom lip as he stapled the receipt to some paperwork, "There's a great ramen place around the corner and I don't have another appointment tonight…" 

Geralt positively beamed, "If you can stand to be seen with someone wearing zipper shorts in public, I'd love to."

[thatpinkbetch]

Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary:  Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say! 

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary:  izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary:  Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary:  He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary:  The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

*

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary:  The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful. 

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary:  Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 16 - UFO expert's recommendation as the Japan Air Self Defense Force sets up Space Operations Squadron.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this week's installment of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

J: You looked at us the opposite way then.

K: I did (laughs)

J: I don't mind though.

K: Hahaha.

J: Im sorry to be so pedantic.

K: No, i thought the same myself.

J: I just wondered whether you'd forgotten our names, or whether you were a bit tired.

T: He's probably tired.

J: I was a bit concerned *laughs*

K: You got me.

J: I just noticed it, so..

K: How have you been recently?

J: Well, how? hmm, well..

K: Its still around the middle of April now, as we record this, right? The shops are starting to open again. We are still in...what was it, a state  of emergency..

J: It hasn't been lifted in Tokyo.

K: But the stores are slowly starting to operate again if you look around. Ramen places are really busy and such. But, how has it been for you guys?

J: Well, ive been cooking for myself as much as possible. Buying stuff from the grocers, and making salad and stuff every day. I don't have a frying pan though.

T: You don't have a frying pan??

J: No.

K: Do you have a microwave?

J: I do have a microwave. But a frying pan...well, recently, i bought some eggs, and tried to make fried eggs, but i had to cook them in a steel pan.*T laughing a lot* And when I tried to scrape them out, the yolk got destroyed. *K laughs* It was chaos.

T: How have you survived this far in life?

J: No, I mean I usually eat out, so this is a first for me at 52 years old, this self catering lifestyle.

T: I have a special pan for cooking eggs, its designed especially for eggs (tamagoyaki).

J: Really?

K: Oh, that square type?

T: Yeah, yeah.

K: Ehh!

J: Really?

T: I keep it really clean, and make sure I don't use it for anything other than eggs.

K: Oh, so do you cook a lot?

T: I do, yeah.

J: Kaoru, can you cook?

K: Do I look like I can? *laughs*

J: You don't, you don't. *everyone laughs loudly* You don't at all, sorry.

K: I can manage fried vegetables and stuff like that.

J: Oh, well, you are probably better than me then.

K: But honestly, I havn't cooked anything in years.

T: *To J* If you say he's better than you, that puts you at a super low level! *K laughs*

J: Well, now you mention it, maybe we are about the same level.

K: A long time ago, when I first came to Tokyo, I made curry once.

J, T: Oohh?!

K: Yeah..And with curry, if you let it sit for one night, its supposed to taste better the next day.

J: Yeah, the flavour deepens.

K: When I checked on it the next day, it had grown mould. *the others laugh a lot*

T: How?

K: I don't know.

J: What did you put in it?

K: Just the normal stuff...curry cubes and stuff.

T: It grew mould after a day...?

K: It did, yeah.

J: Ehhh? By the way, did you eat any of it on the day you made it?

K: No, because I thought it would taste better after leaving it for a day. Also, it was actually kind of watery. Maybe I got the measurements wrong. So I thought if I leave it for a day, it would thicken up, but it grew mould.

J: *laughing* Wow. If you cooked it properly, it wouldn't grow mould unless there was something wrong with it though, would it?

T: Yeah, exactly.

J: Thats incredible.

T: Yeah, were you living somewhere funny?

K: Haha, the place?

J: Lets do this sometime. Lets have a curry party with Kaoru making the curry. 

T: Oh, yeah.

K: Um, in my blog magazine TheTheDay, I appealed for ideas of what people want me to do, and people said they want me to cook.

J, T: Ehhh.

J: Will you do it? Get your revenge?

K: Revenge? *laughs*

J: Curry revenge. We'd have to have a doctor on stand-by though. *K laughs* We'd end up with curry poisoning. Everyone who ate it would collapse one by one.

K: It would be dangerous.

J: It would, it would.

K: Okay, so today...Tasai san.

T: Yes, so..uh..finally we've reached this era! Finally!

J: What is it? What happened?

T: Well, uh, on May 18th, for the first time, the Japan Air Self Defense Force (JASDF) started a specialist division to monitor regions in space, the Space Operations Squadron.

J: At last!

T: Its like Space Battleship Yamato, its as if that kind of old sci-fi is finally becoming real in this current Reiwa era. Well, actually, its not really like Yamato. What they are really doing is keeping an eye on space junk, and watching for any suspicious looking man-made satellites. To begin with they will ????*1, and by 2026, they say they want to put thier own satellites into orbit too. Its true that America, Russia, and China are leaders in this field, but its like Japan has also started to think about self defence in terms of space too.

J: I see. This is quite serious news then, isn't it.

T: Well, Tokyo sports always has a different take.

J, K: *laugh*

J: Of course.

T: So, in response to the inauguration of this devision, a UFO expert had one thing he wanted to say, which was...well, there is the 'scramble', yes? A kind of emergency take-off, if for example, missles are heading towards domestic land, or if mysterious sightings*2 happen, there is stuff like this. And in 2018, the JASDF actually had 999 scrambles, where they saw something they thought was dangerous, and had to take off immediately. So, of those, 638 cases involved Chinese vessels, 340 cases involved Russian, and 18 cases were classed as 'other'. This UFO expert thinks these might be UFOs, so with the creation of this new devision, he says they could check to see if they actually are UFOs.

J: By the way, what is the Japanese government's stance on the existence of UFOs? It seems like America already thinks they exist, and are taking some action, right?

K: There is a lot of???*4

J: Yeh, on the news. I havn't watched it properly, but what do they think again?

T: ????

K:????

J????*5

T: The Japanese government hasn't clearly confimed whether or not they think UFOs are real or not.

J: Hmm, Kaoru what do you think? Do UFOs exist or don't they?

K: Well, I want them to exist. I like reading about them.

J: Well, its fun isn't it?

T: While I've been working at Tokyo Sports, we've had quite a few reports on photos people have taken of UFOs. Um, you know Hyper media creator Takashiro Tsuyoshi..?

J: Ahh, Takashiro san.

T: When he reported...where was it Australia, Byron Bay..or something. He went there for a festival, and he showed me a photo of a UFO that he took while he was there. And there really was a kind of triangle shaped UFO looking thing on it. And when he showed it to an expert, they said after about 2 seconds, 'Ah, yes, this is a UFO', without even checking properly. *the others laugh*.

J: You'd want them to analyze it a bit more

K: It seems too easy, right? Like, ah, yeh yeh.

T: Yeh, thats a UFO..

J: Saying its a UFO that quickly...

T: According to this expert, if you see a UFO, a big change will happen in your life....and then straight after that he ????*6 and stuff like that happened...Also, the former actress, who turned to that religious cult..

J: Oh, the Happy Science cult.

T: Yeh, Sengen Yoshiko. She captured footage of a UFO in Toyama, and showed it to me, so I kind of think they are real.

J: Have either of you ever seen a UFO yourselves?

K: I've seen things where I've thought, what is that?!. Like...*imitates zig zag movement in the sky*

T: There is something isn't there.

J: There are things that move like that, aren't there. They are different from shooting stars, and airplanes couldn't move in that way. I've wondered what they are.

K: And when you try to catch it on your smartphone or something, you can't, can you?

T: I just remembered! I did catch a UFO on my smartphone. I went to Mexico once to do a story.

K: Didn't you mention that before?

T: Oh, maybe I did, on the radio. Well, when i was in Mexico, what is it..when the sun takes a long time..

J: The summer solstice?

T: Yeh, on that day, we climed to the top of a big rock, and held hands with all the local people. At that time we took loads of photos of the sky, and when we checked later, they showed a UFO.

J,K: Ehh?

T: Yeh, and I don't know the first thing about it. Im in the club of people who've photographed a UFO.

J: A UFO was close to you....Isn't this the right time for him to come out? That guy?

Kami:.....

K: He's not coming.

Kami: Um..

J: He's here, he's here.

Kami: We're talking about UFOs right? When I saw that the JASDF had started a space army, I was excited. And when I wondered what they would get up to, it said they would be picking up space junk..

T: *laughs*

Kami: Its like when we lost at the world cup, and picked up all the garbage, then went home. So I was a bit shocked at what was written.

K: But thats just the starting point, right?

T: Yeah, starting with the little things, moving steadily.

J: But, hey, while they say that, they might be carrying out some bigger project behind the scenes.

K: Well, yeah.

T: Thats right.

J: Kami, what do you think about UFOs?

Kami: I've never seen one.

J: Oh, you havn't?

K: But from your perspective, do UFOs exist?

Kami: Do they exist?...Im not sure.

K:.*laughs*

J: He's not very articulate, is he? This is different from when he was talking about mahjong!

K: *laughs*

J: He never stopped when he was talking about mahjong. Losing 30,000 and such. Coming into Tasai san's conversation that much..He's changed completey since last time. A poor response, Kami. Hey, but what is it?...Can't gods transcend space-time?

Kami: Im not sure.

J: Wait, you're not sure?

Kami: Space-time? Well, I can't talk about it, cause I'll get into trouble if I do.

J: Ah, if you tell us?

K: *laughs*

T: Is this a new organisation?

K: An organisation, right?

J: Gods have them too.

K: They probably have unions, right?

Kami: Yes, yes. *K laughs*

T: Someone more powerful than Kami will be onto him.

K: Yeah, he'll be stopped.

Kami: But the gods know this, theres nothing faster than light, right?

J, T: Ahh

Kami: Did you know that?

J: Yes, I did.

Kami: Yeah, thats it. Theres nothing faster than light, yeh. Thats the thing. Do you know who decided that? It was a god.

J: Ohh.

T, K: Eh?

Kami: Not me, one of my distant relatives.

J: Distant relatives? *laughs* One of the gods in the group?

K: It wasn't himself, but..

Kami: Yes, thats it.

J: Hang on, wait a minute, so in terms of what we are talking about, Kami, what did YOU create? Gods make many different things I think.

Kami: I make parts in a factory.  *J, K laugh*.

T: What? The old guy in a backstreet workshop?

K: *laughs* He's the type who can descend to earth very easily, right?

J: He really is one of the commoners.*laughs* Its funny.

Kami: Its because Im an ally of the common people.

K: Well, yeh, it seems like he often goes to Chinese restaurants..

J: Right.

T: And he likes Mahjong

K: Yeh, he likes Mahjong.

J: He's kinda just like my Dad.

K: *laughs*

J: Ah, but UFOs, right?

K: It would be good if they develop this.

T: There might be things like space wars in the future, in reality. With America and such. If they are competing for supremacy in space.

K: Ah, yeh, fighting for supremacy.

T: Right?

J: But Japan is a little late getting started, in relation to that.

K: Oh yeh, its impossible.

J: Right? We wouldn't ever take supremacy.

T: Well Japan can already be seen from anywhere by spy satellites, they'd get all our info.

J: Well, thats it. That kind of thing is going on at the same time.

K: Well, thats just how it is.

J: Thats how it is, right?

T: Thanks for listening.

J: This was a spaced themed chat.

K: Please look forward to next week, thank you very much. Please subscribe.

J,T, Kami: Please do.

*1,3,4,5 Couldn't catch these bits.

*2 mysterious sightings...or something like it.

*6 Sounded like, 'he got divorced', but i couldn't distinguish it clearly enough.

[unmaskedagain]

Grimm Cleaners: No Questions Asked

I wrote this short story a while ago. I really hope you like it. I took example from my own experience.

The first murder happened on a Monday because of course it fucking would. A new body was found, every day, after that, for two weeks and Todd was sick of it. He didn't know if it was a serial killer, devil worshipers, or fucking Dracula but it was interfering with his social life.

"I don't need this shit! It's my day off." Todd said as he furiously wiped down the blood-splattered table. "Who fucking murders someone in a coffee shop?"

"Quit bitching; you're getting overtime," Sierra said as she mopped the floor. The once white mop-head was already stained pink. And she hadn't even mopped off a quarter of the blood on the floor. "You worked at Walmart for five years. You've seen worse. You've cleaned up worse." Sierra was thin, with big brown eyes and caramel skin. She was fresh out of college and had a look on her face that screamed she was done with the world.

                     The coffee shop was a trendy place called The Coffee Roosters. Vinyl records and 90s cartoon characters decorated the wall. It had a real mom and pop feel and would've passed for one if not for the unicorn cappuccinos, and every drink being written in French. However, that night, it looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. Blood and body parts covered everything. There were symbols painted on the walls, Todd was pretty sure, opened a portal to hell.

                     They had gotten the call just after midnight. The boss wanted all-hands-on-deck. Nevertheless, somehow, all-hands-on-deck meant Todd, Sierra, and the new kid. It was because it was October, Halloween; their busiest time of the year. Everyone worked odd hours. No one else could come in.

"Yeah, and I also got PTSD," Todd retorted. "I can't even watch The Walking Dead without thinking of Black Friday." He rung out his sponge. Todd was grumpy, nearing thirty, a grad student with an arm tattoo of the Deathly Hallows. "All I'm saying is that after seven years of customer service, and 'I wanna speak to the manager,' He mimicked in a high voice "The only murder I should have to clean up in a place where you're forced to smile and say 'how can I help you', is the one that'll happen when I finally snap. Anything else is just rude."

                          Sierra paused, looked around, and brushed back a dyed strand of neon-blue hair. "Yeah, whoever did this didn't work in Customer Service. Only assholes would fuck with someone else's job. This is still better than working the counter at freaking Sephora. Or Best Buy! You know a two-year-old once pissed on the floor, right in front of me, and the Mom was just standing there looking at tablets. Like what the hell?"

"Ah Dude," Christian whined as he ran into the room. He was a tall, lanky, baby-faced, college sophomore with shaggy blond hair and, unlike the other two, still a hopeful outlook on life. "I think I just found some dude's spleen." And sure enough, in his hands were some poor guy's lumbar vertebra. It was gooey with pieces of flesh and muscle still attached to it.

                        There were a few moments of silence. Then Todd just shrugged, "Whatever. Still better than working retail." And went back to work. They didn't have time to waste. The coffee shop opened at sunrise. If this wasn't done, they'd be fired.

                          Sierra murmured her agreement. "At this job, I never have to hear 'Oh it's such a nice day. So sunny and warm. There are rainbows and butterflies and ice cream raining from the sky.' Like I literally haven't been outside in five hours." She dunked the mop in the bucket. "And I don't get to leave this fucking sweatshop of nightmares until it's dark, but thanks for letting me know, Debra."

                          Todd looked up and saw Christian still standing with a grossed-out expression on his face. Then he remembered that the kid hadn't been training long. Christian hadn't gotten any real experience on the job yet, only taught how to do it. Still, the training wheels had to come off sometime. Todd sighed, "Man, just put it with the rest of the body parts. We gotta get out of here before the police get here."

                        Christian nodded and turned around to put the spleen in the other black bags on the counter. "This or Mcdonalds," They heard him tell himself. "I can't go back to ramen every night. I won't go back."

                       Sierra cooed, "Poor guy. Third week of training, and he already found his first body part." She snickered. "I remember mine. I cried for the rest of the night."

                      Todd grimaced, "He'll get used to it." He wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Wait until he realizes he's making enough money to move out of his dorm. He'll be fine with diving in a lake to get the head of a dismembered camp counselor."

                        Sierra nodded, "Yeah, once I realized that paying off my student loans depended on getting a hand out of a crocodile's stomach. I got that hand and a new belt." She bent down to pick up a stray eyeball. "Besides, these customers are the best I've worked with."

"I know, right?" Todd threw up his hands. It was the only part of the job that still remained bizarre to him. "You wouldn't think serial killers or monsters would be. But I'll be damned if they ain't the nicest, most polite people I've ever met. You remember that Hannibal Lector type of guy we worked with last week. Well, at the job, I ended up finding some chick's liver. So I put it in one of those black security boxes and sent it to his place. I figured: hey, maybe the cannibal would want it. Because, you know, 'fava bean and a nice chianti' and all that. The very next day, I get a thank you card."

                        Sierra laughed, "That's nothing! I helped out this Freddy Kruger- rip off, nightmare dude, last year. He was having a hard time tracking down the rest of the people who murdered him. Long story short, I introduce this guy to social media. They were all dead in like a week. I get the best customer review of my life. And I haven't had a bad dream since. How awesome is that?"

                          A scream came from the kitchen, followed up by Christian yelling, "Brain! There's a fucking brain in the freezer. Holy shit. Oh god, oh god." Then the sound of him throwing up.

                          Todd and Sierra shared a look that said 'Trainees, what can you do?'

                        Christian came back into the room, pale-faced, and his shirt covered in puke, "I'm fine," He said. "I just can't get used to this."

"Dude," Sierra said, with a raised eyebrow. "Yesterday, I cleaned up the birth of yet another Rosemary's baby. Demon daddy thanked me for a job well done and tipped me a solid gold brick. Eventually, you get used to everything... well, almost everything." A haunted, faraway look appeared on her face. "Do yourself a favor: never take a job in New Orleans, after New Year's. It's like a vampire free-for-all."

                       Todd nodded. He would never take another job in New Orleans again. Lesson learned. "Man, once you're done cleaning up back there, I need you to start cleaning the ceiling." He pointed up. There were a bunch of satanic symbols and black scorch marks. "Get everything. Boss will freak if a hell portal opened during business hours. Trust me, it won't be easy budgie jumping into the mouth of hell to pick up some poor chick who just wanted a pumpkin spice latte. The paperwork alone is a bitch."

                       It took them hours to get the coffee shop back into the pristine condition it was once in. Afterward, they went out the back, locked up, and got into their black truck. It had no nameplates or any identifiable markers.

"Todd?" Sierra asked from the shotgun seat. "Do you ever wonder who we work for? Who our boss is? Or how they found us?"

"No," Todd said as he pulled the truck out of the dark alley. "I just figured they put spotters in high traffic customer service areas. And whichever employee looks most like they've given up on humanity and one more 'there's no price tag on it, it must be free' joke away from burning down the store, they point at him and say that's our guy."

                   Sierra hooked the aux cord up to her phone, "I think that's the only still scary part. It's like they knew all they had to do was offer us a living wage, and basic human decency, and we'd be theirs. No questions asked."

                Music blasted through the car as the coworkers contemplated the truth of her words.

"Makes you wonder who the real monsters are," Christian said.

[yamithediaperdork]

Inuyasha’s new pup Part four (Dear god it lives!)

the boys were only about 10 minutes into their walk and already Souta was starting to get a little nervous, feeling like maybe he had made a mistake coming into town in his diapers. the bulk between his legs had been fine for playing in the yard or waddling around the house but he was realizing albeit too late that it made him waddle in a fashion more then one mother they passed seemed to recognize and made the older ladies giggle, bring a blush to his cheek. "Uhhh Inuyasha..Let's say off hand I'm maybe having second thoughts.." Souta started as they passed a group of older girls and a few of them broke into a fit of giggles. Of course what Souta didn't know was that it wasn't because of him, but a comment that had been made about a boy from their class, but as any diaper dork who's braved a public waddling knows, you feel like everyone knows. "I'd say it's too little too late. Unless your starting to chafe, then I'll just carry you." Inuyasha said with a little smirk, holding the boy's improvised diaper bag with ease in one hand and offering his free arm. Souta mentally pictured it, Him on Inuyasha's hip and hugging him, the half demons strong arm under his pampered butt and blushed even worse and found himself wishing he'd tugged a baseball cap on to try and hide his face. "Uh, No thank you." Souta squeaked out and barely caught himself before his thumb slipped into his mouth. Inuyasha smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "Your the boss apple sauce." he said cheerfully and then stopped and scanned the street signs. "IIIII don't suppose you know the way to this store you wanna go to do you?" He asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Heh, Don't worry 'Yasha. I won't let you get lost and get grabbed by the dog catcher." Souta said, smirking and getting a bit of his old nerve back. Taking Inuyasha's hand he started to lead the way.

Of course Inuyasha knew what store the boy was talking about, it was call All-mart and Kagome had taken him there when they were having a Ramen noodle cup sale. But he could also see how scared and nervous his pup was getting and figured if he acted like he was the one who needed help, it would give Souta a boost of much needed confidence. Seeing the change in attuide as Souta lead the way Inuyasha knew he'd been right, and decided to lay it on a little more for the little guys sake as he saw a group of boy's around his age by a electronics store, watching a demo of a new game. "You know, I think I've gone though whole forests that weren't as confusing as this town. Plus it's not like I can just climb up a lamp post or the like to get my bearing." Inuyasha said and then smirked. "well, not again. your sister was less then pleased the last time.." He said and wagged his eyebrows as Souta giggle and put a hand over his mouth. "Why do I have NO trouble seeing you do that?" Souta giggled and drew a little bit of attention from a bigger boy who nudged one of his friend and pointed. "So which way do we go now?" Inuyasha asked, getting Souta in front of him and having the pup point and start to explain while he bared his fangs at the would be bully who suddenly decided the demo was MUCH more interesting then starting a scene. "Well we gotta go down that street till 9th, then hang a right an- Hey! Are you even listening? Sheesh, Maybe I need to get a leash for you. your hopeless." Souta sighed, unaware he'd just been saved. "heh, you might be onto something but I think we'll draw a little bit too much attention if you lead me around on a leash pup." Inuyasha said and ruffled the boys hair. "heh, True. Just stick close to me and I'll look  after you." Souta said.

7 minutes later and they were at the All-mart and browsing the aisles with a cart, Souta sitting in the part of the cart where the groceries were suppose to go but since they weren't picking up THAT much Inuyasha didn't see the harm. The diaper bag was in the front basket where Inuyasha had tried to convince Souta to sit at first but the boy had flat out refused and with Inuyasha not wanting the little guy to get too tired he had come up with the compromise. "Sooo I know we're mostly here for clothes and milk..but what do you say we load up on some chocolate and candy?" Souta asked, grinning impishly then getting a worried look on his face. "wait, can you HAVE chocolate? I don't want you to get sick!" Inuyasha chuckled at that and ruffled the pup's hair again, he was just so god damn cute. "Yeah don't worry, I'm not THAT much of a dog that some sweets will do me in. though I dunno how I feel about filling YOU up with sugar. your hyper enough as is." He teased and winked. "Pleassssssse?" Souta begged, bringing his hands together and clearly trying to muster every ounce of his cuteness into this one plea. Inuyasha had already been heading for the candy aisle before the plea and as such the cuteness attack just about melted him before he managed to look away. "Ok ok! Just turn the look off!" he said, holding up a hand as if to protect himself,then joked. "That's more powerful then a punch from half the demons I know!" "Beware the powers of my cuteness!" Souta giggled impishly but did as asked, thinking he now had a powerful attack all his own to use and started to try and think up names for it as the started to raid the shelf's of their chocolate treats.

With the cart loaded up with sweets and three jugs of milk the boys made they're way over to the diaper aisle and were floored by just HOW many choices there was for padding in Souta's size. "heh, guess little big guys like you are more common then we thought." Inuyasha commented. "Heh yeah..Geez I don't even know where to start." Souta said, rubbing the back of his head then standing up in the cart and holding his arms out for Inuyasha to get him out. Smirking the half demon did so and he let the little pup crinkle and waddle back and forth looking deep in thought. While Souta tried to pick out his padding Inuyasha spotted a few things he wanted to get for him non padding related and snagged a package of pacifiers and a couple of baby bottle's Souta could call all his own. He also grabbed a couple of pack of wipes and some baby powder and turned around to find Souta lugging two massive packs of diapers back with him. A quick scan of the packs showed they were just as thick if not a little thicker then the ones Souta was already wearing but these were 20 packs, which had Inuyasha raising a eyebrow and smirking. "Just how much do you plan on going before your mom and sister get back?" He teased, making Souta blush. "I uh..well I can put one back if yo-" Souta started, poking two fingers together and Inuyasha just put them both in the cart. "I Knew what I was signing up for today Pup. Don't worry." Inuyasha said then helped him back into the cart which was starting to get a little bit cramped. Still it beat making the little guy walk around and if Inuyasha was being honest semi made him feel like he was pushing the pup around in a stroller. Which he knew there was zero chance in getting Souta in a real one as they headed for the clothing department.

Souta giggled and squirmed a little in the shopping cart. Truthfully he was loving riding the cart, it made him feel like he was in a stroller but he figured if he tried to whine for one that would be too fair, PLUS there would be no way to sugar coat what a big baby he was if he was in one. 'Maybe if I can get Kagome to take me back to the past and take a stroller back then..not like -I- know anyone in the past.' He thought and giggled out loud. "Penny for your thoughts." Inuyasha said behind him as they traveled over to the boys wear section. "Nope! mu thoughts are SO profound you hafa pay 2 dollars for them!" Souta giggled and winked. "heh, Maybe later then.. Alright sooo.. I'll let you get to it..I don't know much about clothing sizes and stuff." Inuyasha said Helping Souta out. "Ummm oook butttt er.." and Souta squirmed a little, shifting on his heels. "whats wrong? do you need to pee?" Inuyasha asked. "W-What? No!" Souta huffed and then his bladder twitched, making him a liar. "Well kinda..but I wanted you to sit and check out the outfits I pick and tell me if they look good." Inuyasha chuckled and smirked. "I suppose I could, though believe it or not I'm not exactly up to date on fashion." he said in a mock whisper, putting a finger to his lips. "Shhh don't tell anyone!" "Your secret is safe with me." Souta giggled and then went and started to pick out some shorts and pants. Keeping in mind the trouble he had before he made sure to pick a few sizes above his normal size and then retreated to the changing room. He'd been tempted to grab a couple of tops that looked -really- cute but had been hit by a dose of reality when he say the prices and realized they didn't have a unlimited amount of funds. Stripping down to his top and his diaper and socks, Souta paused for a second looking at his reflection in the mirror in the changing room, god, the diaper looked sooo bulky from sucking up his sweat from the walk and he wiggled his hips a little and popped his thumb into his mouth and slapped his pamper butt, making a whomp sound. 'I'm SUCH a big baby!' he thought with a mental giggle. "Souta, you ok in there?" Came Inuyasha's worried voice, Snapping Souta out of big baby mode. "I heard a weird noise, do you need me to come in?" "N-No! I'm ok!" Souta squeaked, blushing and rubbing the back of his head, and then getting down to business.

In the end only two of the shorts Souta had grabbing worked with his diapers, a light tan cargo look that hide the diapers really well and a baggy cotton pair that was a red on the top and blue on the bottom, meeting in a wave pattern in the middle and would also do a good job hiding the padding. Souta had tried a pair of black jogging pants but the bulk had really stood out and the cargo pants he'd picked had sagged down at the waist and would flash the top of the padding. It wasn't the haul they'd been hoping for but at least it would mean Souta wouldn't be stuck in just diapers and a top when the one pair of shorts were being washed. with the pup back in the cart they went up to the check out (and had a brief argument with the cashier about whether or not they had loaded stuff into the make shift diaper bag till Inuyasha had opened it up for the clerk to see and brought a blush to her face that matched Souta's) and they they were out the door. "Hey, would you mind if I called us a cab? I know I promised a trip to a noodle stand but this is a lot to carry and I don't wanna risk the milk going off." Inuyasha said. "Only if it has a car seat for me." Souta giggled, then seemed to recall who he was talking to. "That was a joke!" "I figured as much Silly." Inuyasha chuckled and went to a pay phone to make the call and as he talked on the phone Souta started to squirm back and forth, and a soft poot or two (Or three or four) started to escape from his behind. Finishing up his call Inuyasha replaced the phone and came over to Souta and tried not to mind the smell of gas, and was thankful no one was too close to them though a young couple had taken notice. "Souta buddy, the cab will be here in about five minutes. do you think you can make it?" Inuyasha asked, keeping his voice low. "I-I'll try." The blushing diaper pup said and there was a soft hissing noise that only Inuyasha picked up on as the little pup flooded his diaper. "I'm just saying, we won't have time for a diaper change." Inuyasha said and rubbed the pup's back. "I..I Know..I'm trying Inuyasha." he whimpered and then his thumb found it's way into his mouth as he was semi hunching then standing up over and over. Credit given where it was due Souta held on till the cab was JUST pulling up but then he lost the battle and hunched over and LOUDLY filled the seat of his diapers, attracting lots of attention between the series of loud wet farts and well him crying out "I'M GOING BOOM BOOM!" and starting to bawl. the cab driver didn't look thrilled about having the smelly boy in his car but a glare from Inuyasha was all it took to convince him to keep his mouth shut and just roll down the windows.

A small part of Souta's mind knew that the car ride had only taken about 10 minutes at most, but as he sat in the back seat, face in Inuyasha's chest and sobbing, With every bump making him bounce in his stinky diapers, it felt like a hour. He rushed inside as best he could, waddling and cowboy walking and the diaper big time showing as Inuyasha handled the cab driver and getting everything inside. Souta went right to the backroom and tugged down his short, gagging as he noticed he had slightly leaked and then started the shower going before proceeding to slowly and carefully peel the tapes off and get the stinky diaper in the trash, holding his nose and then hopping in the shower. there was just no way he was waiting on Inuyasha to change him nor was he gonna try and clean himself up with toilet paper. (He'd tried it before after maybe having a uh-oh accident at school and had ended up clogging the toilet.) He was about halfway though washing when he heard the bathroom door open. "Souta buddy, you ok?" Inuyasha asked. "Y-yeah.. I'm just..I uh..Couldn't wait on you. I was leaking." He said. "I can see that. you get all cleaned up and I'll handle the shorts and taking care of the stinky diaper. Did um.. did you want anther diaper or did you wanna take a break?" Inuyasha asked. Souta paused from his washing and bit his lip.He DID wanna keep wearing but the accident in public had him a little rattled. "It's ok if you wanna take a break pup." Inuyasha added. "N-No..just..um..I wanna stay inside today now ok?" Souta said after a few more second. "That's ok. Meet me in your bedroom when you finish and I'll have everything ready." Inuyasha said and Souta could hear him picking things up. "oh, uh..don't forget to rinse out the tub though when your done." Inuyasha said then he left the room and it was already smelling better. "..He's the best big bro ever." Souta coo'ed and went back to washing up.

[taomega20writings]

NaruIno

Naruto had just enough saved up after that last job to get a new batch of seeds for his garden. He had all the vegetables he wanted, and his roof couldn’t support a tree, so he decided to try some flowers. Naruto also knew that if Ino caught him having bought flowers from anywhere but her shop, he would never hear the end of her nagging. So here he was, outside of her flower shop, afraid to enter.

He had never let anyone know about his hobby before. And he was lucky no one found out and ruined his garden. So he was very intimidated to be exposing a part of himself like this.

But he couldn’t become Hokage one day if he couldn’t be brave in the little moments, so in he walks.

The bell overhead tinkles as the door passes under it, letting the store hear his entrance. He is astounded by the colors and the variety of flowers and garden ornaments that he could see.

“Welcome to Yamanaka Flowers, let me know if you would like any help.” Came a cheery call from the next isle over, the source of the voice just out of view.

“Thank you, I will.” Naruto responded, hesitantly, but loud enough to be heard clearly.

There was a sound of a box dropping, and of clothes shifting against each other as the person presumably stood abruptly. There was a clattering of feet as Ino rounded the corner.

“Naruto!?” She looked ruffled, to say the least. Petals in her hair, with dirt sprinkled on her apron and part of her shirt. Some smudged on her cheek.

She still looked as beautiful as she does in class, Naruto thinks to himself.

“Hey there Ino, I was hoping I could get some help?” He was a lot more shy at this one. Being confronted with her directly. But he stood strong, only shifting away a little.

“Help with what? I’m not helping you with any of your pranks. Or with helping you get forehead.” She composed herself a bit from her earlier surprise, but still seemed sceptical at his presence.

“Well, I was hoping to get some flowers seeds. I have my vegetable garden going good, and I’ve kept it healthy and full the last few years, so I wanted to try something else. I thought flowers would be good.” He mumbled about half of it, and was looking towards his shoes for the last bit, expecting to be laughed at, or for her to not believe him.

“You kept your garden healthy for years? That’s great Naruto, it’s a really hard thing to do, and it’s so cool that you’ve done it. So what kind of flowers were you thinking of?”

Naruto looked up sharply in shock.

“You don’t think I’m lying?” He asked after a moment.

“No, why would I? You are a bit loud, but you aren’t careless, and you are certainly dedicated if your efforts with forehead have anything to say.”

“And you don’t think I’m lame for having plants as my hobby?”

“Why would I think that? I run a flower shop, plants are my thing. All kind of people come in for plants, even Hokage-sama and Iruka-sensei come in for flower supplies every so often.” She looked to Naruto as she finished talking, noticing his eyes a bit watery.

“Are you okay Naruto?”

Naruto quickly rubs his eyes against his sleeve to try to dry his building tears. His anxieties over coming for help and fear of being rejected both allayed by Ino.

“I’m fine, just a bit of dust is all.”

She clearly didn’t believe him, but decided to leave it be.

She instead started walking to a part of the shop, waving at him to follow and discretely allowing him to collect himself.

—————————————————————————–

“There you go, sunflowers should be good, and you can cook the seeds or plant them next year. And here is a book on different flowers for you.”

Naruto started reaching for his wallet when Ino stopped him.

“Actually, it’s on the house today Naruto.”

Naruto started at that. He was expecting to pay a lot for this trip. And no one ever gives him something for free.

“Really? I can just have these?” He stares at her with wide eyes. Hope and hesitation both clearly seen.

“Yup, on one condition.” He looked dubious at what she may say next. “You have to take me to see your garden tomorrow.”

He thought about it for a moment. She wasn’t one of the people constantly insulting him. Or one of the ones who avoided him entirely. She just wasn’t into most of the things he found fun. She was nice when she talked to him, and never hit him like Sakura does. Well, unless he really deserved it. And she likes flowers, so it makes sense she would be interested.

“Okay, but you can’t tell anyone about it. It’s a secret garden.”

Ino giggled a little at that. “Okay, I won’t tell anyone about your secret garden. It will be our little secret.” She smiled at him, glad he accepted.

“Great! So would you like to meet tomorrow by the fountain in the park?”

“Sure! I’ll be there around 3, so be ready then, okay?”

“You got it Ino. Thank you for helping me today, I really appreciate it.” Naruto says as he runs out of the door, bright smile shining and his eyes crinkled in happiness.

Ino blushes as she sees it, and luckily for her he doesn’t notice. She calls a goodbye after him and then sits back in her chair. The image of his smiling face not leaving her head.

’…He Is kinda cute.’

——————————————————————————–

They meet up at the fountain the next day and start walking over to Naruto’s building. They don’t stop at his room, luckily, because he didn’t clean it, and make their way straight to the top of the building. Once there, Ino is treated with something she definitely didn’t expect.

There was corn, tomatoes, peppers, carrots, peas, potatoes and even some cauliflower. Lettuce and cabbage could be seen too. But it looked more natural than man made. Like walking into a fairies garden.

“Naruto… How did you grow it all like this?.” Ino was stunned and was still trying to comprehend that it was real.

“Well, it started because I had a planter up here with some tomatoes In it, but then I was going to make a garden box. So I got more dirt. But before I could build the box, there was some peppers growing from the pile. Then there was some cabbage, but there wasn’t enough room for it. So I brought more dirt and moved it over some. It kept happening, so I kept moving the new plants to places there was space for them. I think it’s either the birds bringing the seeds or one of the foxes that lives around here.”

“And you kept the garden healthy like this for years?”

“Yeah, I just weed it every day, and make sure to clip out any diseased or rotting bits. They also seem to like when I talk to them, and when I practice my chakra control here.”

“This is beautiful Naruto.” She turned to him and grabbed his hands. “You have to let me come back here with you sometimes. Pretty please? I’ll help you with the garden, and I’ll give you a discount at the store.” She pouted and gave him her best puppy dog eyes.

Naruto couldn’t help but blush, she was so cute, and she was holding his hands. The nice sweet girl wanted to spend more time with him. And she was giving him better puppy dog eyes than Ayame did when he tried to get out of her hugs. He simply couldn’t say no.

“Okay, but only if you are with me. And you have to promise to be nice to the foxes.” She tilted her head at that.

“The foxes?” She asked. Almost on queue, a small fox, small enough to fit in Ino’s hand, pounced on her foot. Surprised, she jumped a bit. Startling the fox when ran behind Naruto.

“There you are Astraea. Where have you been missy. You didn’t come out yesterday when I brought dinner up.” He picked up the tiny fox kit and started petting her. “You had me worried you were hurt, or sick.” He looked back up to Ino and blushed as he realized she saw all that.

“Astraea?” She asked. Smiling at the cute scene.

“It is an old god of Justice, innocence and purity. The name means Star Maiden. And Astraea here has white freckles on her coat that will stay when she grows up. So she has a star coat.. I thought it fit.”

Ino reached forward slowly to try and pet the little kit. But Astraea dug her head into Naruto’s arm.

“I’m sure she will warm up to you. So do you agree to be nice to the foxes?.” He asked again. He suspected he knew the answer.

“Of course. How could I not love cuties like this little one?”

——————————————————————–

Naruto is walking home after a long day of training. He opens his door and is met with a flying mess of blond hair and grabby arms.

“Hi sweetie. Long day?” He asked. he got a muffled answer and a nod against his chest. He smiles as he wraps his arms around his wife of four months.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks her.

She looks up at him and smiles tiredly. “Yeah, but not right now. I know you are tired from the meeting, and dinner is still hot. Lets make our plates and eat by the fireplace to relax, okay?”

He smiles at her and kisses her forehead. “You are too good for me, I swear.” He places a few kisses on her cheek and gets a small giggle in return.

She pushes off him and smiles as he backs away into the kitchen. “Okay, okay, enough of that or we might not get to dinner. And I made us something really good too.”

He followed her into the kitchen and smelled what it was right away.

“Ramen!” He smiled and hugged his wife again. He couldn’t help but fall in love with his wife again every day. She was so sweet. She kept him calm when he needed it, and she made sure he had his head on straight. He also loved that he could do the same for her.

It was pretty funny when she would try to beat up someone and he could just pick her up. She would rage and flail, but one kiss still made her blush and calm down.

He lets go of Ino and lets her get her bowl ready. then follows suit and they make their way into the living room. There are plants everywhere. Naruto kept up his hobby of gardening, and it really showed. He managed to breed tiny versions of every flower in Ino’s shop. Walking anywhere in their home you can find a true garden along every wall in wall planters, on shelves and in the living room, there are a few volcanic plants that are growing over the fireplace too.

As they settle in next to each other, they smile as Astraea comes over and lays across their laps. The fox is now big enough to pin Ino if she wanted to. and is just as happy as the couple.

Knowing the fox wont move any time soon, they set the bowls on her back and start eating. Naruto manages to sneak Astraea a fishcake without Ino noticing. not that she really would have minded. when they were done, they set the bowls aside to take in later.

They lay back, Naruto with his arm out and Ino cuddling into him, and start talking about their days. they both listen and take care to remember what the other is saying. Pretty soon they are both just tiredly cuddling. Astraea takes the moment to pull a blanket over them and starts on cleaning the bowls.

Cleaning meaning licking them clean, but still, its something.

[haru-desune]

hello! i recently read all of Gakuen Babysitter and am now bingeing everything there is for it on A03. i really like your writing! i saw that you were taking prompts, so i was wondering if you'd be interested in doing a shy, pining Hayato. i have a weakness for tough boys who are shy on the inside~

I feel like this fandom needs a flower shop/tattoo parlour AU. I’m 800%writing this now to procrastinate on my media project and will definitelyregret it later but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (AO3) (FF.Net)

Hayato liked working at Deep Ink tattoo parlour. The pay wasgood, his co-workers were bearable, and the owners of the ramen shop two doorsdown knew his order by heart. Nobody at the parlour minded that he was as bluntas a pair of safety scissors, and he enjoyed making art for a living, thoughhe’d smack anyone who suggested that such a sentimental thought crossed hismind. And of course, there was Green Meadows florists, across the street, whichhad always existed as part of Hayato’s reality, but had recently been in hismind more and more often. It was mostly Yagi’s fault. He might not have evennoticed him if it wasn’t for Yagi.

“Did you hear?” said Yagi as they were opening up theparlour one morning “the flower shop across the street is getting a newemployee.”

“Is that so?” asked Nekota, though by the sound of hervoice, Hayato could tell she wasn’t very interested. To be fair the only gossipshe spared any real attention for concerned Inui, the bartender that shedefinitely did-not-have-a-crush-on-shut-up-Yagi, so Hayato was pretty sure Yagiwouldn’t take it personally. Sure enough the other man only smiled andcontinued.

“Yup. Apparently he’s a college student, living with hisyounger brother, and the human embodiment of sunshine.”

Hayato raised an eyebrow at that last statement and Nekotasnorted. “Where did you get that information from?” she asked as she finishedwiping down the guns and throwing away the wipes. She stretched her arms highabove her head to toss them into the bin like a basketball and revealing thesharp-eyed calico cat inked into her hip, filled in with blotches of colour.

“From Chuukichi of course.”

Ah yes, Yagi’s best friend (and possibly boyfriend though noone could figure out their relationship and Hayato couldn’t be bothered to ask)was a florist at Green Meadows as well.

“I really doubt Nezu-san described someone as ‘the humanembodiment of sunshine’” Hayato said dryly.

Yagi laughed softly, scratching idly at the cherry blossomsthat climbed up his neck. “I may have paraphrased that a bit.”

There was a loud, firm, and deliberate clearing of a throatfrom the receptionist’s desk. “If you have time to gossip, you have time tosweep.” said Inomata sternly, and that was the end of that.

Except it wasn’t. Because later that day Hayato saw him, when he happened to glance outof the big glass windows at the front of the store, and for a second he forgothow to breathe. Brown hair that looked red in the sunlight, bright green apronthat really should have clashed with the red but didn’t, and a laugh soexpressive that Hayato could swear he could hear it all the way across the street.He couldn’t tell what colour his eyes were, but he was sure they’d be every bitas captivating as the man himself.

The Florist, as Hayato had taken to calling him in his head,had an afternoon shift every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and opened onSaturday. Hayato could see him from the parlour when he came out for his break,or to weep the front, or to water the various colourful plants that hung inbaskets outside the shop. Each week he was treated to snatches of a wide smile,glimpses of his head thrown back in laughter. He had started hanging around thereception desk like a love sick school girl, much to Inomata’s annoyance.

“If you like the man so much, just go across the street andtalk to him.”

“Who said anything about liking him?”

Inomata gave him a thoroughly unimpressed look, and herelented. “I don’t know what I’d say.” he said honestly.

“You’ve never had a problem with speaking your mind,Kamitani-kun.”

“Neither have you, Inomata-san, but I don’t see you speakingto that bubbly florist girl either.”

Inomata snapped her mouth shut at that, and let the topicgo.

Yagi spent a vast majority of his breaks across the streetanyway due to his… whatever with Nezu, but he would now come back with storiesof The Florist- whose name he, infuriatingly, refused to divulge- and flowersfor everyone, and really Yagi might be the only person both brave andself-confident enough to waltz up to Hayato, tuck a flower behind his ear, andpractically skip away to pester Inomata, the only unmarked member of theirteam, into letting him give her a tattoo.

If the latest designs in Hayato’s sketch book had a morefloral theme, well nobody had to know.

Hayato had been standing outside the flower shop for 10minutes. That was one third of his break time. He’d been standing just out ofsight of the inside counter, though he could clearly see that The Florist wason duty. Occasionally he would take a half step forward, before pausing andreturning back to his original position.

“If you don’t go inside, someone’s going to call the police”came a dry voice behind him, and he whipped around to face Nekota, who gave hima sly grin as she arched an eyebrow.

Hayato had to concede she had a point. It didn’t help thatthe sweltering summer heat had driven him to wear a tank top, which exposed theintricate pattern of trailing vines and swirling galaxies that made their wayup to both his shoulders, giving way to the geometric wolf on one shouldermatched by an identically styled falcon on the other, and allowed the crest ofthe wave that adorned his chest to peak past his collar. A heavily tattooed manglaring at a flower shop was probably enough to set off most people’s warningbells.

“What are you even doing here?”

“Needed a reference for a client.”

“Oh really?” Nekota’s smirk grew as she crossed her armsover her chest, the short sleeves of her top riding up to expose the tail ofthe ethereal blue and gold mermaid that marked her left shoulder, the colouringcontrasting sharply with the twisting words of an old love poem that circledboth her upper arms.

“Really.” He replied flatly. “She wants a particular set offlowers. Apparently it’s supposed to mean something.” It was a pretty decentdesign actually, a swirl of five different flowers that spiralled out from nearher heart to under her rib. It was a surprise for her husband, a love story inpetals, from what she had told him. Despite all outward appearances, Hayatocould appreciate a romantic gesture.

“And you couldn’t, I don’t know, Google these flowers?”

“You know as well as I do that a picture isn’t going to giveyou the same feel.”

Nekota grinned, and Hayato felt like he’d just lost acompetition he didn’t know they were having.

“Well then go on, and get your references then.” She shovedhim slightly towards the door, and now that Hayato was in full view of thecounter inside, turning around was no longer an option. He had no choice but togo inside. He glared at her.

“I’m going to kill you.”

“You can try.”

He took a deep breath and opened the door, entering the slightlyhumid, heavily perfumed shop, the sound of Nekota’s cackling still ringing inhis ears, and was met with a pair of the brownest eyes he’d ever seen. For along moment the eyes were the only things taking up his vision, but slowly hetook in everything else, like he was watching a movie scene where the camerawas slowly zooming out. The rest of Brown Eyes’ face was even more enchantingup close, large eyes, pointed nose, and a mouth made for smiling. His cheekswere dusted with a smattering of freckles, probably due to the summer sun,provided an unhelpful corner of his mind. It was only after he realized he hadbeen staring for a while and not speaking that he noticed Brown Eyes wasn’talone. His co-worker, a sleepy-eyed man with long pink hair that would havelooked out of place anywhere but this garden of roses and tulips and azaleasand god knows what else, winked at him like he knew a secret.

“Oh!” he said, pounding a fist on his open palm “You’reanime-kun’s friend. I’ve seen you go with him to the tattoo parlour.”

“A-anime-kun?”

“Nezu-kun’s friend? The one with the cherry blossom tattoo? Andthe pixel-ly ones on his arms? Very anime.”

Hayato quirked an eyebrow, eyeing the man’s pink hair. Hewas about to say something on the matter when Brown Eyes spoke.

“Usaida-san,” he said, exasperation colouring his tone “canyou call someone anime-kun when you yourself have pink hair?”

Usaida waved him off like it didn’t matter, which Hayatosupposed, it really didn’t. Brown Eyes sighed, before turning to Hayato with asmile so bright that he thought his heart might stop right there.

“Welcome to Green Meadows flower shop, how can we help you?”

“I’m sorry to ask, but I need references for a tattoo I’mdesigning. I was hoping you would allow me to sketch some flowers from thisshop?”

“Certainly, which flowers do you need, or will anything do?”

Hayato checked the note he’d made on his phone. “Redcamellias, white carnations, anemone, lavender, and forget-me-nots.” He wassure at least one of those was a fish. Or the house of a fish? Something fishrelated anyway.

The other man’s eyes lit up. “In love, fascination, sincerity,faithfulness, and true love. A special tattoo then. Your customer must reallylove someone indeed.” He coloured up suddenly. “I’m sorry, it’s just that Ifind hanakotoba really cool.”

Hayato tried not to be distracted by the sight of the manblushing. “Ah, it’s no problem. It’s kind of cool that you know it off the topof your head like that. I didn’t even realize they had a meaning until myclient explained it.”

The man turned a deeper shade of red, and turned, ostensiblyto look for the plants in question. Usaida smirked at Hayato when Brown Eyeswasn’t looking.

“I think we should have most of these around. Oh, wait,we’re out of white carnations, but there are some red ones here so at least youcan get the shape right…” The man trailed off hunting for the flowers he’dneed, before lining them up on the back counter. “You can step back here andsketch without anyone bothering you.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Any friend of Yagi-kun is welcome here. I’mKashima Ryuuichi, by the way.” He said with a smile so infectious that Hayatohad to smile back.

“Kamitani Hayato.”

Weeks passed of Hayato finding (making, according to Yagi)excuses to go back to the flower shop. Managing to talk more and more withKashima until suddenly they were friends. They had exchanged numbers at somepoint, and Hayato hadn’t emailed anyone this regularly since his school days.

“You’re adorable” Yagi cooed when he caught him smiling athis phone screen for the umpteenth time as they were closing up.

“Gross, more like.” Nekota said “Just ask him out and put usall out of our misery. You already have lunch with him at least once a week.”

“I’m not going to ask him out.” Hayato said, scowling atthem.

“What! Why not?” asked Nekota and Yagi together. EvenInomata looked up from organizing the day’s records and fixed him with anexasperated look, which Hayato thought was supremely unfair as she had yet totalk to bubbly florist girl- whose name was Ushimaru apparently.

“We’re friends now, I don’t want to make it weird.” He saidwith a shrug, trying to pretend that it didn’t take years off his life tryingto control his heartbeat every time he was around Kashima.

Nekota made a disgusted noise, and Inomata shook her head.Yagi just looked thoughtful.

“If you change your mind, can you wait a month to ask him? Ihave money riding on this.”

Hayato felt completely justified in hitting him.

“Kamitani?” Hayato blinked at Kashima, whose voice was tightin a way that indicated that he was trying not to laugh.

“Yes?”

“Did you know you have a flower behind your ear?”

Hayato’s hand flew up to inspect the offending appendage,and sure enough there was a thin stemmed yellow flower nestled there. “I’mgoing to murder Yagi.” He growled, carefully removing the plant.

Kashima did laugh at that. “Don’t” he said, plucking theflower out of his hands and leaning over to replace it. “It’s cute.”

Hayato couldn’t speak, too busy trying to deal with theblaring alarms and the panicked TOO CLOSEthat spun through his brain. Kashima smiled at him before calmly returning towork. Hayato might have heard Nezu snort, but he wasn’t sure. He bit back agroan. This man was going to kill him.

KASHIMA: HeyKamitani are you busy on Sunday? Want to meet up? I’m taking my brother out ifyou want to tag along.

Hayato looked at the message on his phone. Of course the onetime Kashima wanted to meet outside of work would be the day he’d gotten ropedinto taking Taka to some museum or something for a class project.

YOU: Sorry, butI’m helping my brother with some school work on Sunday.

KASHIMA: Oh,maybe some other time then.

Hayato shook his head, trying not to get his hopes up at thepromise of a future meet up. “It’s not adate, Hayato.” He told himself, before calling out to his brother.

“Hey brat, where am I taking you Sunday?”

“I’m not a brat, don’t be a jerk Aniki!”

“Just answer the question squirt.”

“Someday I’m going to be taller than you.” Taka grumbled,scowling up at him.

“Keep dreaming. Now answer the damn question.”

“The natural history museum.” Taka pouted

“Great. Did you finish your homework?”

“Um…”

“Finish your homework.”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“You wanna test that theory?” Hayato glared, raising athreatening fist, and Taka gulped.

“Homework. Going. Now!”

“Good. Maybe ifyou finish early I might play MarioKart with you.”

Taka’s face lit up at the promise and he raced off to finishhis homework. Hayato sighed, looking back down at his phone.

YOU: I’ll holdyou to it.

Hayato decided that the only thing worse than a Sundaymorning car ride with a hyperactive Taka was a Sunday morning car ride with a hyperactiveTaka and no coffee.

“So who are you working on this assignment with again?”

“My best friend and partner in crime.”

Hayato snorted “People don’t say that in real life.”

“I just said it right now, didn’t I?”

“Fair enough. Does this best friend of yours have a name?”

“His name is Kotaro, he’ll meet us there with his brother.We’re writing our report on dinosaurs. I think the T-rex is the coolest, butKotaro likes the stegosaurus the best which is stupid because…”

Hayato let the rest of Taka’s blabbering fade into whitenoise as he focused on driving, finally pulling into the museum parking.

“Kotaro said we’ll meet at the gates.”

Hayato nodded and let his brother half drag him to thegates, stifling a yawn.  Hey heard Takagive a yell before he half-hugged half-tackled another boy who took the wholething with a resigned stoicism. So this was the famous best friend, huh. Heglanced at the brother standing next to him who was laughing at the scene,greetings halfway out of his mouth before his brain registered a familiar face.

“Hello I’m K- Kashima!?”

The other man laughed, a clear sound that woke Hayato upfaster than a triple espresso shot.

“Looks like we won’t have to reschedule after all.”

Hayato had never been so glad his mother had forced him towear a decent shirt. Sure the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and he waswearing an old pair of black jeans and some ratty Vans, but at least he lookedhalfway okay. A part of his brain was urgently reminding him that this was not a date but he was really too sleepyto register it.

Kashima looked him over once, and Hayato was almost certainhe saw his eyes linger on the sleeves that were exposed on his forearms and thepetals of the cactus flower that touched his collar bone, a more recentaddition which had made Kashima turn various shades of red when he first sawit. He had gotten done because he liked the shape of the flower, but after thatreaction he had to look up thehanakotoba and then couldn’t meet Kashima’s eye for a week.

“You look good.”

“Thanks. You too.” Said Hayato, a little hoarsely. And itwasn’t a lie. Kashima, in a plaid shirt and jeans and no apron made his breathhitch. “This is not a date” histreacherous mind supplied. “Shut it!” he growled under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing, I mean let’s head in.”

This was not the first time Hayato was distracted byKashima’s hands. The other man had a habit of tapping his fingers when he wasnervous or had nothing else to do. They were nice fingers, Hayato had notedlong ago, slender and elegant with dirt under the nails more often than not. Hehad often wondered what those fingers would feel like intertwined with his. Kashimawould usually lay his free hand on the table while eating, fingers splayed,occasionally tapping a gentle rhythm onto the table, and it would be so easyfor Hayato to just reach out and tangle his own with them, holding them still.

Walking together through the museum was agony. Kashima’shands were just millimetres away, all he had to do was reach out a little andthey would be walking hand in hand. Every time Kashima’s hand brushed his asthey walked, Hayato felt a jolt of electricity course through him, making himhyperaware of his surroundings, yet he never wanted to leave this moment.

It was that moment standing in the museum with Kashima, hisbrain still screaming that this was not a date, that Hayato realized that thiscould not keep going on.

YOU: Hey I’mthinking of getting a new tattoo, what do you think?

Hayato sent the message with clearest picture of his sketch.A green dragon with a surprisingly gentle face, coiled in on itself andsurrounded by a burst of colour. Cherry blossom for kindness, pansy forthoughtful, hibiscus for gentle, lily of the valley for sweet,  sunflower for respect but also for passionatelove, gardenia for secret love, yellow camellias for longing, carnations forfascination, anemones for sincerity, and red roses for love.

He sent the message, and then he waited.

Come morning there was still no message from Kashima, and itwas with heavy legs and a heavy heart that Hayato walked into the parlour, onlyto be greeted by a large bouquet of flowers on the reception desk. Well atleast Inomata was succeeding where he was failing.

“Kamitani-kun.” Said Inomata, her voice laced with somethingunidentifiable as she took in his dejected expression. “Delivery for you.”

“Oh is it behind the giant bouquet of flowers?” he asked,bitterly.

“No, idiot, it isthe giant bouquet of flowers.”

Hayato’s head whipped up, taking in the flowers properly forthe first time. There were sunflowers here too, and red roses, though pink wasalso thrown into the mix, for happiness. Anemones, yellow camellias,carnations. But there were also zinnia for loyalty, Violets for honesty, redtulips for trust, peonies for bravery, and morning glory for wilful promises.His chest felt tight and warm, while something like hope swirled in hisstomach.

“I have to go.”

He ran out of the parlour and across the road, bursting intothe shop and making Ushimaru jump.

“Is Kashima here yet?”  

Her face lit up in understanding, and she pointed to thebackroom and then let out a little squeak as he hopped over the counter insteadof waiting for her to open the little gate that kept the counters an “employeesonly” area. He marched into the back room, and there he was, digging around abo of hydrangeas.

“Kashima.”

The man jumped and looked up, and Hayato froze. Kashima’seyes were still the brownest he’d ever seen.

“Kamitani.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“I couldn’t- you didn’t- I thought I had scared you off.” Hesaid finally, voice soft.

“I’m sorry. I should have said something, but you had put somuch thought into it and well… words weren’t enough.”

“So is that a yes?”

Kashima gave him a look. “Come on Kamitani, I know you’vepicked up on enough hanakotoba to figure it out.”

Hayato’s lips quirked upwards on their own accord “Justchecking.”

He strode towards Kashima, slowly, deliberately, giving the manample opportunity to stop him. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him intoan embrace, and placing a light kiss on his forehead.

Kashima made an impatient noise, standing on his toes topress their lips together, and Hayato saw fireworks. He groaned into the kiss,leaning down to make himself more accessible, backing them up until Kashima’sback was pressed against the wall. They broke apart, grinning.

“Does this mean I can call you Ryu?”

“It’d be kind of weird if you didn’t… Hayato.”

Hayato swallowed heavily, that would take some getting usedto. In a good way.

Kashima- no, Ryu- looked up at him through his lashes. “Areyou really going to get that tattoo?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Maybe on our wedding day.”

Hayato choked on air, and then laughed, pressing his faceinto Ryu’s neck. This man was going to kill him.

A/N- Did someone ask for an entire paragraph of Hayato agonizing overhand holding? No? Well I gave it to you anyway. The meaning of cactus flowers,if you were wondering, is lust/sex. I honestly don’t know if some of those flowerswould work in a bouquet but let’s pretend that our boy Ryu found a way. I havethis AU weirdly sorted out in my head so if anyone wants to know anything aboutit (Tattoos, occupations, life stories, etc.) feel free to ask because I’m tootired to write. Anyway, hit me up on tumblr if you want to see more, I’mbards-against-hoomanity. Shoot me an ask if you’ve got a prompt, usual termsand conditions apply. Love you guys and I hope you enjoyed this!

[solastia]

Omakase

ONE SHOT

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon

Word Count: 2,686

Summary: Every time you cook you set off the smoke alarm, so you know what I’m just going to teach you how to cook.

Genre & Warnings: Fluffifty fluffy fluff. Adorable Namjoon, Sassy Jin. Cussing is pretty much the only warning. Eh, maybe implied future smut? Sexual innuendo?This is straight toothachy cute though.

Smoke. Again.

Jin was starting to wonder why he kept opening his windows when instead of the fresh air he craved, his apartment became filled with the stench of smoke and burned food instead. This was the third time this week alone, and he was beyond fed up. It took him two whole days to air out the smell from his own place last time since he was pretty sure rubber was somehow involved, and he could only imagine how bad it must be in the apartment next to him that it was coming from. It didn’t matter how gorgeous he thought his new neighbor was, this was unacceptable.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1...” Jin counted down until he heard the shrill sound of the fire alarm being activated. It was quickly followed by the usual noise of crashing as his neighbor clearly ran into all of his furniture on the way to turn off the alarm, and the deep voice growling at the alarm like he could command the noise to stop. 

Drastic steps were going to have to be taken if Jin wanted to live in peace again.

With a heavy sigh, he walked to his kitchen and went through his cabinets and his fridge, gathering all the ingredients he thought he would need. He put everything into his shopping tote bags (The not quite as cool store brand ones. He was so not going to take his favorite Nintendo bag and have it end up smelling like smoke for 84 years). He picked them up and began to leave the kitchen before he remembered how much burned rubber he’s been breathing in for the past few weeks. God knows how many cooking tools have been murdered next door. He supposed he could spare some pans and proper stainless steel utensils. He was a chef, after all. He could always do with new equipment. With that decided, he packed a few pans that he wouldn’t mourn too much, some spatulas, a cutting board and a chef’s knife that Jin felt like he was sending on a suicide mission. 

Supplies in hand, he made his way next door and pounded so he’d be heard over the racket. The fire alarm finally stopped, and he could overhear his neighbor mumbling to himself. The sound of glass crashing and a muffled, “shit” indicated the owner's journey to the front door. 

The sassy commentary that Jin had prepared on his way over was utterly erased from his mind when the door flew open, and his eyes were assaulted by a gold tinted bare chest. The smoke cloud that was set free by the open door barely registered as Jin’s eyes traveled from the six...no, eight...pack abs up to the astonished eyes of his incredibly attractive neighbor. 

“Oh, it’s you!” The tanned adonis blurted out, his face turning a sweet crimson shade as he’d realized what he said. 

“It’s me! Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Jin joked, hoping to ease the tension and distract himself from the deep dimples on his neighbor’s face. 

“It’s good! I mean...” he cleared his throat and chuckled nervously. “It’s...I’ve just seen you around. You live next door, right? I’m Kim Namjoon.” He looked down at Jin, a cute, shy smile deepening the dimple on his left cheek. 

“Yes, I’m Kim Seokjin. Pleasure. Look, I’m going get straight to the point. You’ve been next door to me now for a month. During that month, nearly three days out of every week I am afraid for my life and the lives of everyone in this building. So, for the sake of world peace, I am going to teach you how to cook something simple. I am much too pretty to die.” Jin brushed past Namjoon without waiting for an invitation, not missing the mumbled, “I agree.” He smirked to himself as he laid out his supplies. 

Namjoon left the door open to try and air out some of the lingering smoke then wandered over to the counter where Jin was and plopped into a barstool, observing with his face propped in his large hands. 

“Good God! Look at this mess!” Jin shrieked when he finally took in the scene on the stove. There was a pot filled with some sort of goopy blob and in a pan next to it was the charred remains of an attempted fried egg. 

Jin clucked and began cleaning everything up, snickering when he noticed Namjoon’s sheepish expression. 

“What were you even making?” Jin asked as he tried to scrub at the pot in a vain attempt to save it. 

“Ramen.” 

Jin’s head shot around to stare at him in shock. “Ramen? How do you fuck up ramen?”

Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, embarrassment flushing his cheeks. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute. That will make up for lack of skill.” Jin stated as he finally gave up on the pan and threw it away. 

“You think I’m cute?”

The teasing tone made Jin look up, and he caught Namjoon’s little grin. Jin snorted and began setting his ingredients out. 

“Like you weren’t aware. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you’re hot. Don’t act like I haven’t seen you flirting like a fuckboy with Hoseok in 4B.” 

Namjoon laughed. “You know, the sky isn’t actually blue. Blue light is scattered in all directions by the tiny molecules of air in the Earth’s atmosphere. Blue is scattered more than the other colors because it travels in shorter waves. Hence, we end up seeing blue more.”

Jin groaned dramatically. “Oh, that explains everything.” 

“What explains what?” 

“You’re one of those nerds. The ones that are book smart but can’t do anything in real life.” 

“I feel like I should be offended,” Namjoon replied with a smile. 

“Don’t be. Not everyone can handle having beauty, brawn, and brilliance in one perfectly decorated package like me.” Jin pretended to flip hair back, earning a chuckle from Namjoon. 

“So what are we making today, chef?” Namjoon asked, eyeing the ingredients and supplies that Jin was organizing. 

“Side note, I actually am a chef. Lucky you. Today I am going to teach you how to make Jajangmyeon.” 

“Oh shit! That’s like, my favorite dish!” Namjoon was off the barstool and jumping up and down like a child. Jin found it endearing but chose not to say anything. 

“I’m aware. When the apartment is not up in flames, I see the bowls waiting for pickup outside. However, making it yourself is simple, cheaper, and it’s easier to begin learning how to cook with something that you’d want to make a lot.” Jin put the pan over the flame and grabbed his oil when he caught sight of the golden skinned chest. 

He’d nearly forgotten. 

“If you plan on cooking you might want to cover all that up.” He said, gesturing vaguely in Namjoon’s direction. 

“Oh, yeah. For my safety or because you’ll get distracted?” Namjoon joked as he threw on a tank top that Jin could barely justify calling a shirt. The armholes went down so low that he could still see the abs from the side. 

Jin rolls his eyes and goes back to his task. He shows Namjoon how to prep the black bean sauce, chop the vegetables (the man didn’t even know to take the sheath off of the knife first) and saute the pork. He also taught Namjoon to clean as he cooked so there wouldn’t be a pile of dishes at the end. An hour later, their Jajangmyeon was beautifully dished with some fresh noodles and Namjoon had only sliced his fingers once. 

Namjoon ate his portion like a man starved, only stopping once to tell Jin it was even better than the takeout version he usually got. Jin had to order him to shut up and focus on eating correctly because he looked like he was going to choke and die while he watched.   

They slouched against the back of their chairs when they were done, Namjoon rubbing his stomach with a contented air. Jin got up and washed the bowls and started putting anything he was going to take back to his place in his bag. 

“You’re leaving already?” Namjoon asked, and Jin swore he was pouting. 

“Yup. This has been fun, but I have to be at work early to prep.” 

“Well, I gotta pay you back somehow. That was like, the best food I’ve eaten in forever. Since I moved out on my own, I haven’t been able to feed myself well. Kinda makes me appreciate my Mom a hell of a lot more.” 

Jin chuckled as he walked towards the door. “Just pay me back by not burning down our home.” 

Namjoon continued pouting as he followed behind Jin. He opened the door for him and looked down at the ground before mumbling. “Wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy... We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

“Is this you trying to seduce me?” Jin joked, loving the way Namjoon’s face turned such a pretty color whenever he blushed. 

“No...I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed...but, I mean...shit.” Namjoon rambled as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Jin giggled and pecked Namjoon’s cheek before walking quickly into his own apartment. He laughed when he overheard Namjoon talking to himself through the thin walls. “Holy shit, I think he actually likes me! YES!” Perhaps he’ll let Namjoon learn about the walls on his own. He has a feeling he will hear a lot more exciting things if he keeps his mouth shut. 

Jin had the most stressful day. As if he didn’t get stressed out enough by his usual demanding customers, he swore that those last two men that came in were from Michelin. If his restaurant could get a star, his dreams would come true. He imagined he wouldn’t know how he did for awhile, but he knew he’d tried his best. 

He trudged up the steps to his apartment, already dreaming of a nice hot bath and some Japanese beer. A flash of red caught his eye and he glanced down to see a single rose on his doormat. He was confused for about five seconds before he heard a crash next door and saw the window curtain fluttering. He put two and two together. His giant fool of a neighbor was a romantic, it seemed. Jin felt his face get hot as he actually blushed. Him, Kim Seokjin, blushing! 

“Ah, why is this big dummy making my heart flutter?” He wonders as he finally enters his apartment. 

He takes his rose and puts it in a champagne flute, making a mental note to buy an actual vase tomorrow. He decides not to question why he was packing the beer he’d been looking forward to into one of his shopping totes, along with the pasta and cheesecake he’d made at work. By the time he’s knocking on Namjoon’s door, he’s convinced himself he’s only doing the right thing so the kid doesn’t fill the place with smoke again. 

“Oh, you’re back!” Namjoon’s voice is filled with wonder as he flings open the door. His hair is still wet like he’s fresh from the shower and he’s bare-chested yet again. 

Does this man ever wear shirts? 

“I brought some food home from work if you’re interested. I figured it would be better for me to share then risk you burning me alive today.” Jin tries to joke like he’s unaffected, but his voice sounds nervous even to his ears. 

“Thanks, Seokjin. I’m glad you were thinking of me.” Why did Jin think he heard a double meaning behind those hummed words? 

Jin didn’t respond, just began to set out plates and portion out the food. Namjoon gleefully hopped onto a bar stool and leaned over to sniff the pasta. With a huge smile, he brought one colossal forkful to his mouth, and Jin waited patiently to get a reaction. 

Namjoon’s eyes widened comically, and he began talking with his mouth packed full. 

“JIN! You made this? This is so good!” Or at least that’s what Jin thought he heard. 

Jin hid a smile as he dug into his own plate. He tried not to look too deeply into the feelings he was dealing with. He was getting too much satisfaction from feeding this man. Couple that with Namjoon being a romantic, gorgeous, adorable nerd, and Jin could feel himself falling. 

When they were finished, Jin got up and began dishing out the cheesecake. If Namjoon loved the pasta, Jin knew he’d be euphoric over the cheesecake. Everyone begged for it. He usually sold over a hundred of these a week. Jin set a slice in front of Namjoon and observed as he yet again hungrily shoved the biggest forkful of food into his mouth. Instead of repeating his previous reaction, Namjoon’s eyes lowered, and he gazed at Jin while he finished chewing. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Jin finally asked, getting a little worried. Maybe he’d finally found someone that hated his famous cheesecake. 

“Will you marry me?” Namjoon finally whispered, looking serious. 

“WHAT?!” Jin squawked, not even sure what to say to that. He knew people loved his cheesecake, but this...

“I'm serious. You’re beautiful, funny, sassy, compassionate, are like the God of cooking, and this cheesecake...I want you to make me this cheesecake every weekend for the rest of our lives. Also, I think I’ll die if you don’t keep feeding me. I need to wife you up fast before someone else does.” 

Jin stared at Namjoon as the other sat there looking content and rather amused. 

“Ok, first of all, who says I’m the wife? Secondly, you’re insane. We haven’t even been on a single date. You can’t propose before you even date, dum dum.” 

“What do you mean? This is our second date, baby. Two more dates and that ass is mine.” Namjoon smirked, and Jin could feel his entire body shiver. 

“Kim Namjoon, we’ve known each other two days. Slow the fuck down.” Jin could feel his face turning red. From anger, embarrassment or excitement, Jin didn’t know anymore. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry. Also, you’ve been noticing me a lot longer than two days, baby. Our walls are pretty thin, you know.” 

Fuck. 

“Will you go out with me on a real date tomorrow, Kim Seokjin? I’ll pick you up, take you somewhere where you don’t have to cook, maybe sing you the song I wrote for you last night.” 

“That sounds nice,” Jin whispered, trying to hide his blush, but he knew his ears gave him away. 

“Then, after a long drawn out, overly dramatic courtship, you’ll marry me. We already have the same last name and live in the same building. Honestly, we would be doing it for conservation reasons. You know, might as well save water and shower together.” Namjoon silently laughed as he grinned at Jin, pulling him closer to stand between his legs. 

“Fine. Now, shut up and kiss me.”

“Anything for my wife.”

[motivationalposter]

Second Self is Bad, Actually

If you’re sick of being single and you decide to create a clone if your own design, please just get a dog.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Second Self, the service that creates an artificial person programed to act as your soulmate and life partner, and I’ve always had an unsettling feeling about it. It’s a similar feeling when a start quarterback tests positive for anabolic steroids. Or if you’re not a sports person (spotter?) imagine if you found out Van Gogh copied all his paintings from a lesser known artist. Even better, imagine the movie _Yesterday_ but for real. Imagine if you went back in time with the music book of all The Beetles songs before they even existed.

For arguments sake, let’s examine the latter example. Let’s say you are a guitarist with hopes and dreams of being the greatest. You started playing very young, got good quickly, captured the attention of any adults in the room as you play, truly a rising star. Now you start to meet other kids like you. Talented musicians, all with the same dream as you, to be the best. But you can’t all be the best. You must prove to the rest of them that your talents are of no equal. You have all just entered the unspoken game.

I’m going on about this metaphor as the best way I can think of for why I think Second Self is bad. In reality, every one of us is playing this game. You join when you talk and it ends when you die. Everyone on the planet is playing against eachother and there are no rules. Obviously this makes everyone a little anxious, go figure.

Let’s circle back to this later after I tell you about Alec, he is the Second Self I ordered for this article. I gave Parshad Balazer the ingredients to my love potion and waited three months for a guy to bump into me at my favorite coffee shop. Very organic, indeed.

We clicked right away, I’m not gonna lie. In the first couple dates we talked about our favorite ramen noodle shops. He had only had the one, Boxer Ramen, which coincidentally is also my favorite ramen place. It wasn’t long before we moved in together and started to seriously consider our future together. I spent 7 months infatuated with Alec before I asked him to leave.

The successful matches are reported more than the failures. You never hear about the Second Self’s that don’t click with their intended partner, but you should. I’ve felt an underlying anxiety when I first started seeing Alec, a clenching in my teeth that I couldn’t pinpoint. It bothered me so much that I told my therapist my concerns about Alec and the uneasiness I felt around him.

So I decided to write down every moment the irked me, or took me out of my comfort zone. Here’s a break down of the first weeks notes - I always put ketchup on my eggs. This morning I went without it but Alec proceeded to portion ketchup on my breakfast plate to the side, thinking I forgot it. - When we talk about politics, he always has the most impressively reasonable take. He corrects himself if he’s wrong, acknowledges his short comings, and does the research with the most emotional intelligence I have ever scene. - Alec is built like a greek god. I don’t know what that says about my preferences but god damn. He is stupid attractive. In fact its almost cartoonish how muscular he is. And I know other Second Self’s aren’t built the same because we went to a couple Meetups with other Second Self couples - He really loves me. This is a big one for me because I’ve had to end so many relationships simply because the guy loses interest and leaves me in the cold. He is genuinely interested in what I have to say.

To those of you who read the list and are now preparing to flame me in the comments, lower your pitchforks. Yes on paper Alec is a fantastic partner that I’m sure I would have been very happy with. This isn’t an attack on Second Self as a service but an examination on how human beings find love. Second Self is a deal with the devil.

Love and dating is *supposed* to be messy. It is not finding a perfect puzzle piece that fits in nice and snug. It’s brutal, you won’t succeed the first time. Fights will happen and the grief of past experiences are supposed to come out and divide you. Thats how relationships have worked ever since the king invented divorce. Second Self cheats this rule, your rigging the game.

I couldn’t stand Alec much longer after we moved it. It was too clean, it got really boring! We may get along really well but can I really call Alec my soulmate? Alec was literally born yesterday, he has an entire world to explore and room to grow. Is it really fair to him to come into this world only to be my sexual fantasy? I don’t even think he wants to be a graphic designer.

There’s another aspect to Alec that really bothers me deep down. When I signed up for Second Self I cheated him out of the game. He doesn’t have memories or experiences to navigate this strangle, complex life ahead of him. What are *his* dreams? Would he have wanted to be the worlds greatest guitar player, or football athlete (not my Second Self)? He lost the game before he started. Now he has to start from scratch and figure it out on his own.

As of this writing I’m still single. I’m unhappy too if you are really curious. But that unhappiness is necessary to find my *real* soulmate. Someone who challenges me, supports me, and most importantly makes me feel like a winner.

[tomoyanosekai]

Preparation ~無限の現在~ (Mugen no Genzai: The Infinite Present Time)

“... 14:10.” (June 15, 2020) 

After three months of quarantine and finding a steady jogging schedule, I can easily say that I feel I’ve reached my peak physical condition where I feel good and balanced in my health. Continuing from what I wrote last month, I’m still running every other day, and where I’m at right now, I’ve already broken my limits and set new records for myself to aim towards and beat. However, although I’ve reached new heights, I’ve been asking myself this: 

“Why do I continue to run? What am I doing this for?”

As I force myself to wake up when it’s not uncomfortably hot outside in the early June morning, I keep running through the hills. On those days in between where I’m not running, I’ve been taking two to three hour long walks through town; specifically to places that hold a lot of nostalgia for me all in one trip: my former high school, middle school, and elementary school. On that same note of nostalgia, I’m beginning to see how else that trip from Japan affected me. Aside from all the fantastic memories that I made last summer, the two largest qualities that I took away from my Japan trip are helping me through this quarantine: my awakened sense of wanderlust and a reawakened passion for cooking.

Throughout the month, June came and went and I continued to exercise by jogging and walking. Within the world, this past month has not been easy since COVID-19 still rampages through our society, but only found a way to get worse with protests on racial inequality and police violence, accompanied with looting, and very negative responses towards political unrest. As I wrote in previous entries, I really enjoy feeling a sense of adventure that comes from venturing out into new territory alone, and that feeling is something that followed me back. On the days in between jogging, I’ve been walking, but I eventually found myself travelling long distances just to think, and what started with walking four miles soon became seven or eight miles. This became my escape from the world where I explored and saw the world firsthand for myself, rather than see it as a blurred view that passed by in the window of a car. The views I saw and the sense of adventure that I felt while walking reminded me of better times last year and reminded me where my sense of wanderlust came from.  

When I was staying with a family in the countryside of Aomori, I decided to go exploring one morning. There was nothing but rice paddies and nature, and I wanted to explore and capture some of those views since this would probably be one of the only times I’d be surrounded in such an environment. As I saw so many beautiful sights within the environment, there was one magical place that I saw. In context: it’s just a normal train station called “Ashino Park Station,” but that station had train tracks that were surrounded by a tunnel of trees and the beauty of the soft morning dew that looked like it continued on for miles. It truly was a sight to behold, especially since it felt like something I’d seen in a Studio Ghibli Movie, except more amazing. I found out much later that it only becomes even more beautiful during the spring as according to one of the mothers I met at the church: those trees are Sakura Trees, and when spring rolls around, the whole train station is enveloped in a tunnel of light pink petals. With that feeling of adventure and wanderlust still strong inside me, I still continued to walk. Coming back to the present in the United States, I eventually reached the places filled with nostalgia for me: my former schools.The more I think about how and why I chose to walk to and pass by all my former schools is beyond me, and I have no idea why I chose to. If anything, the only reason I could think of was simply the fact that I was really bored. However, taking that journey and taking in the views as I walked provided some sense of excitement. But when I got to each school and dwelled there for a few minutes, it reminded me of where I came from, and the trials I had to overcome to get to this point.

Ashino Park Station in Springtime, Goshogawara, Aomori, Japan, (image taken from origami-japan.com)  

I wrote last month that I was very jaded and apathetic about celebrating my graduation. However, it took me eight miles of walking to figure out and understand my own feelings. Ever since the Biola semester ended, I never really wanted to celebrate with my family since I felt like I disappointed them and myself for failing so many times. In essence, I did and that still unfortunately stands. However, when I was able to get a haircut and catch up with some friends more recently, they wouldn’t let me feel down about myself and forced me into celebrating with them by making plans for the future. If I were to think about that, I needed that push where I couldn’t deny them, and I didn’t want to deny them in this instance. I wanted to celebrate with them was because THEY knew what I went through behind the scenes; all my frustrations and struggles that led to each of my failures weren’t forgotten by my friends, they knew and saw the things my family didn’t and couldn’t know about. I wanted to celebrate with those friends who remembered my struggles and efforts; I wanted proof that I wasn’t forgotten despite all of them moving on in their lives.

With COVID-19 still on a fluctuating rampage, I’ve realized why this time of quarantine and social distancing has been so hard on so many people, and especially myself with the subject of graduation and moving on. The simple fact is that life has been halted for everyone, and the fact that I had to sit alone and face a lot of my emotions by learning to exist in it during such a hard time only made it more difficult for me to want to celebrate my accomplishments. There was no way for me to plan for the future, short term or long term. All that stood in front of me was that I graduated, I was jobless, and couldn’t see anyone to help me escape my thoughts. There was nothing to look forward to since the future was even more uncertain than it already was, with or without the threat of a virus. It wasn’t until my friend forced me to make a plan about the future in which we’d celebrate my graduation where I had something to look forward to. The best way I can see and explain it was explained best through a Podcast I was listening to recently.

“Right now, we are living in an infinite present because future plans have all been put on hold, we’re all stuck in the same place, we don’t know what the future’s going to be, so a lot of us are just kind of dealing with almost this frozen time…” 

- Scott Frerichs, “Preaching the Midnight Gospel” (Talkcast Podshow 01x21, 55:30-55:48)

The future is uncertain, but time is slowly beginning to move forward again. Many things such as political unrest, protests on racial inequality and police violence, and looting have made it even harder to live in this infinite present time with COVID 19 and quarantining. However, despite all that, time is still trying to find a way, and is slowly beginning to move again. These are not the best times to live in, but it also shows the strength and resilience in people. Although I’ve had to spend time learning how to accept and exist within my emotions, I’ve also spent my time jogging and walking, along with improving my culinary skills; especially with improving my fried rice recipe. Like I stated previously, time is beginning to move again, and my time began to move again as I regained my job back at the ramen shop. However, as I returned, I tried the restaurant’s fried rice again, and even though it was still good, I was ultimately disappointed, yet proud. The time I spent creatively improving my recipe eventually surpassed the ramen shop’s recipe that I looked up to; I think my fried rice is better than the restaurant’s. Just as I steadily improved my fried rice, the same could be said about my physical and mental/emotional health. Although this “infinite present time” seems to continue, it also doesn’t mean that I can sharpen and improve myself within this long lull of time. I’ve been through a lot to get to this point, and I finally feel that I’m at a point where I truly can look back at the experiences I’ve been through and the trials I’ve had to overcome and learn from as they are. As the Apostle Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4:15,

“Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all.”

All the things I’ve had to overcome are all because of God’s goodness. Each lesson hurt quite a bit; some more than others, but it’s time to continue walking again. Where I’m going next is beyond me as of right now, and I don’t know what I’m being prepared for or why I’m preparing myself. As it stands at the current time of this writing, I’m looking into another job opportunity and plan on leaving the restaurant if I can get hired. But for now, as I continue to run and walk to places, just like when I looked down those train tracks surrounded by nature that seemed to go on forever, all I can ask now is this:

“Well, where to next?”   

[uberff]

Chapter 10

Robyn

8 Months Later

"Ouch." I hissed as I accidentally stuck myself with the needle I was sewing with. This never happens, so I knew I was hella unfocused. No matter how many times I tried to make these fits, it just wasn't working out for me for the longest.

I needed a break. A break from everything.

I haven't spoken to Jaylen since I cooked for him, which was about a couple of months ago. We had got into it because I was still seeing Kai.

I text him a little while after the incident, and he still hasn't replied. He hasn't even came by, so I just stopped trying. I guess he has other things to worry about like taking care of a baby.

Kai isn't even in the picture anymore. I've cut off all contact with him. I still haven't got my things from his place, but that would just have to wait. I wasn't in the mood to go over there.

I didn't know if he was home or still locked up but I honestly didn't care. He could rot in that shit.

I was hurt that he decided to just tell me that he had sex with Kayla like it wasn't a big deal. I should've went with my gut feeling when I first found out that she was his "assistant". I knew something wasn't right.

I was mad at myself because I may have lost someone very important to me all because I stood by Kai. And that person is Jaylen. I've neglected Jaylen and even Odell, pleasing Kai. I wouldn't be surprised if either one of them wanted nothing to do with me.

"Nigga just come over here, you just stopped coming over like I got roaches or some." I heard Odell say over the phone.

"You probably do." I heard Jaylen say.

"Stop playing foo."

"Aight, whatever here I come."

"Wassup? You straight? Need a hug?" Odell greeted me with a smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile, because I knew O would always be there for me no matter what.

"Yes please." He quickly embraced me in a long, much needed hug. I honestly didn't wanna let go at all.

He knows about what's been going on. I told him every single thing. From Jaylen and I's past relationship, and everything that just went down with Kai. He was upset  about Jay and I at first, but he still showed me some support. I feel sorry for Kai if Odell ever sees him.

"You can cry if you need to, I won't let go." He kissed my cheek, and I just pulled away from the hug. I knew I'd start crying and I honestly didn't feel like it.

"That's ok. I'm bout to make a salad. Want some?" I asked as he nodded before going back in the living room because Jaylen had came in. The season was coming up for O, so I was trying to get him to eat as healthy as possible.

"Sup wit you and ole girl?"

"See.. I wasn't really too happy about this baby shit at first but as the days go by, it's hitting me more that I'm really bout to be a daddy so I can't help but get excited. It might be a lil early, but fuck it. We straight though." He looked really happy.

"Hope the baby don't look like you. Wassup with you and my sister though?"

"What?"

"I ain't tripping bro, she told me everything. Why you ain't tell me?"

"Cause it honestly wasn't even a big deal, we was literally just friends. I been trying to get with her fake ass for the longest, but she was forever blowing a nigga off for her punk ass boyfriend. And I find it real funny how she gone try and text me on some sweet shit after her nigga got locked up. Robyn can really kiss my ass."  

I needed to leave.

**

After avoiding Odell and Jaylen, I left the house to go drive somewhere to clear my head. His affection was much appreciated and needed but, I just needed to be by myself right now. It was late, two in the morning and here I was driving on open road; talking to God, to my parents, to myself and I was longing for responses that I couldn't receive.

My mistake was settling for Kai when I saw the signs, I admit that his love or lust, whatever the fuck we shared made my opinions and actions skew in a horrible ass direction. I was ignoring everyone else but him, while he was out fucking his assistant and trying to pick up where he left off with her. I ignored the one person who was literally always there for me. Jaylen. Odell is our common denominator, I was Dell's sister and Jay was his best friend which made it damn near impossible to avoid each other.

I fell in love with his company, despite his smart ass mouth, I fell in love with him without even realizing it. Because of his hard ass demeanor, it was hard to read him. I had no idea if he felt the same way; Kayla being pregnant gave me my answer to the million dollar question. This was all just too fucking much. I'm muhfuckin' tide.

Eventually, I grew tired of driving and ended up on a familiar doorstep. My alternative best friend; we didn't have to talk every day but whenever we linked, it was vibes. Enough to make you forget about anything and that's what I need right now. I knocked and stood there with my arms folded across my chest. When the hell did it get so cold? Minutes passed until I saw some lights turn on. I smiled and waited for him to come answer the door.

"I ain't seen you in a minute and you gon' come knockin' at three in the mawnin', baby?" I shrugged and looked down at my Uggs. He pulled me close to him by my pajama pants and kissed my temple, hugging me tightly. I miss Qua so fuckin' much!

"What's going on, mama?" he whispered, pulling me into his house while locking the doors to my truck outside, activating the alarm.

"Mm? Who fuckin' wit' my one and only?"

I tried to talk but my throat was all sore and fucked up from crying so much. He saw that and tried to calm me down, bringing me over to his couch and putting a blanket over me.

"You gon' let me know wassup or I gotta end every nigga in ya phone for playin' wit' your heart?" I still didn't feel like talking because I would end up crying, trying to go in depth to explain this situation.

"Aight fine," Qua jogged upstairs and came back with a big ass gun and took the safety off, heading for the front door, snatching my phone from me. "Let's start with that football playin' nigga with the Ramen head."

"Qua, stop!" I managed to croak. "Fuckin' talk to me, Robyn. I know it's a nigga that fucked up ya emotions. Talk or I'm sprayin' bout you."

"Sit down." he put the safety back on and went to put his gun back. He returned with tissue and did as I said. I went on to tell him everything. From meeting Jaylen to storming out of Kai's house. The tissue definitely came in handy when I came to the realization of my words. I lost my best friend and boyfriend to the same bitch.

Quavo was silent for a few moments and when I went to say something, he stopped me. "You need peace, baby. Shut the fuck up and rest in it." he cut me off and I sighed and closed my eyes. "I'ma go get some loud. We gon' smoke and watch ya favorite movies and have peace. Gon' be real serene 'round this bitch." I smirked and watched him go upstairs. He's exactly who I need right now.

"Poetic Justice, Brown Sugar, or Love Jones?" he asked and I shrugged, eating from the carton of ice cream in his empty ass fridge. He was always out of town and I caught him a few hours before he was supposed to leave.

"All three, shit. Ain't gon' have you mopin'." he put one in and came to sit next to me and began to roll a blunt. I put my feet on his lap and laid down.

"Lucky you got some pretty ass feet." I smirked and got comfortable. Usually, I would be reciting this shit word-for-word but I couldn't get into it. Jaylen and Kai wouldn't leave my mind. Within each scene, I would pause the movie to bother Quavo with questions.

"Qua, is it my fault that he cheated? I thought we were good. I met his family, we almost collaborated on the business side, I trusted him."

"Ya problem is that you trust niggas way too quick, you wanna be everybody friend. A nigga could walk past you on the sidewalk and bam, you tryna bond and be friends. Niggas got motives, all they need is an easy target." he passed me the blunt and I pulled from it, coughing for a brief moment.

"Easy target?" I mumbled.

"Don't take it to heart, you just too nice. You let shit fly too much and you don't realize it until it's too late. None of my ex hoes could have keys to all my shit, pins to all my accounts, none of that shit, WHILE I'm tryna gain trust of someone else and I claim I love 'em. Nah. Karma a bitch though." He was right.

"As for the other nigga, he ain't realize what the fuck he had. Ya'll could've been somethin', just don't go lookin' for love. Its gon' come."

I sighed. I wish he was there before all of this started. "You nothin' short of a queen, treat yaself like one. Be stingy with ya love, don't go giving that shit out like a hug."

"Can I have one?" I mumbled and he laughed, pulling me up and putting the blunt in the ashtray so I could hug him.

"Shoulda had me there, auditionin' niggas to play a part in ya life."

"I know." I whined against his chest. My eyes got heavier and heavier each second.

"Tired, mama?" I nodded and stretched.

"Get in the guest bed, den."

"Nooo, after the movie."

"We both know you gon' be gone by the time Pac and Janet get acquainted."

He was right.

Jaylen

After reading this bullshit ass letter that I seen on Kayla's table, I was.. I don't even know. There ain't a single word that can describe what I'm feeling.

It was a letter from that nigga in jail. The part that pissed me off was him saying they fucked and the baby she carrying could possibly be his. Who does that shit? I hate a lying ass motherfucker.

I know I wasn't supposed to be snooping and shit, but fuck that. She asked me to look for some papers anyways, and I just happened to see some shit that's important. Part of me felt like choking her, part of me felt like killing her. Just a feeling. I'd never put my hands on a woman.

I wanted to wait until her clumsy ass got out of the shower, but fuck it. I was anxious.

She deserves an oscar. We were just out shopping for the baby and she was acting as if she didn't know. Everything was going good, too.

I went to the cemetery to talk to my ma and everything.

Storming to the bathroom, I opened the door and snatched the curtain back, only for her to scream like somebody was stabbing her. I looked at her body for a second, then snapped out of it.

I wasn't the type to just assume so let me be calm about this shit.

"So... we pinning kids on niggas now?" I asked as her eyebrows came together.

"What?" I started to grow annoyed. I know she heard me loud and clear.

"Man just get out the shower and meet me in the room." I told her before walking out. I plopped down on my King size bed, waiting for her to come out. A couple of minutes passed by, and I felt the bed dip.

"What were you saying?" I held the bridge of my nose, silently praying to God to give me at least one bit of strength.

"Kayla stop playing dumb, that shit gone piss me off. I know you read that fuckin' letter." I gritted through my teeth as she pushed me a little.

"Why were you going through my stuff?!"

"Nigga you told me to find the fucking papers from the doctor in ya bitch ass purse!"

She didn't say anything.

"So you don't know how to talk all of a sudden? Usually you don't know how to shut up."

"Look, Jaylen.. I had sex with Kai a little after the first time we did but that was the only time. So to be honest, I don't know who's the father."

By now I was livid. These hoes is too fucking much. First Robyn, now this motherfucker. How I let this shit happen?

"So why the fuck you get my hopes up like that?!"

"Because I had a strong feeling that it's yours!"

"And I got a strong feeling that you need to get the fuck out my crib and get a fucking DNA test!"

"Jayle-"

"Jaylen nothing bro, get yo ass out." I shook my head, going back in my room and plopping down on the bed. A few seconds later I heard the front door slam and I swear I had the urge to destroy everything in this bitch.

I was mad cause a nigga was honestly excited for possibly no fucking reason. I've missed out on big opportunities trying to help Kayla out and be a good baby daddy. I don't condone domestic violence, but women like Kayla deserve that shit.

I needed to drive.

**

I had just finished my second blunt of the day, and I was chillin'. I even had some dirty, and I know I shouldn't be driving but fuck it.

I came to a stop as I ended up in front of some Fashion Show everybody was coming out of. It was NYFW. I had heard about it, but I was too busy with my head up Kayla's ass to even think about going.

I called the woman that I was supposed to be picking up, but that shit went straight to voicemail. Just as I was about to call again, the passenger side opened and a woman with Gucci shades and a red pants suit stepped in. She quickly typed her address in the GPS and took off her blazer.  

"I suggest you hurry up because there's gonna be so much traffic." She sighed, sitting back and putting her seatbelt on.

I just nodded because I honestly ain't feel like talking. I was just doing this cause I wanted to drive and why not do something that I'm getting a lil extra cash for?

"Where are my manners? How are you today, sir?" She smiled,

"I'd be straight if you stopped talking for just a second." I stated as she scoffed.

She snatched her glasses off before leaning up to take a look at me. I noticed that it was motherfucking Robyn. Why am I surprised? She the only person I know that's always like this. This was like dejavu from the very last time I spoke to her.

*Flashback*

“My nigga, I ain't stutter. Sit back, close ya damn mouth, and put ya fuckin' seatbelt on. Better rate me my five stars too." Putting my car in drive, I peeled away from the curb and blasted some music. The ride was starting to calm me down but Robyn's sensitive ass was gunna bring me back up there again.

"Jaylen." she mumbled, I looked straight ahead at the road and clenched my jaw.

"Jay!" she mumbled a little louder and I sighed, turning the music down.

"Fuck you want? I listen with my ears, not my eyes." I barked. I honestly wasn't even tryna tread soft with her anymore. Yeah, I cared about her more than anybody else in my life except family, but she held a good amount of responsibility that caused the fuckery a while back. Where the fuck was my feelings getting me anyway?

"I haven't seen you in a while. Just wanted to know if you were good."

"I'm still standing." I said simply, following the GPS. It was taking all of me not to stare into her eyes, that's what had me gone when I first saw her.

"How's the painting?"

"Ion wanna talk about it."

"Wh-"

"You don't hear good today? Need a fuckin' Q-Tip? That's what I said man, I don't wanna fucking talk about it."

She got quiet and I looked over for the first time and took in her appearance. She's perfect when she ain't trying but when she get her nails and feet done, hair done, and that face beat? NIGGA. She was every man's dream. Her intentions be good but the way she go about handling situations is hell.

She looked like she wanted to say something again so I just beat her to it. I hated that she always made me have a soft spot for her ass. "What?" I asked and she looked away quickly, with tears welling in her eyes. Man.

"What's wrong?"

"Jaylen, I'm fine." she wiped her eyes carefully with some tissues and coached herself in the mirror. "It's fine."

"Asshole. I feel you though. This whole shit had me on the verge of losing it. It was fuck everybody for a long time, still is."

"Even me?"

"Honestly, yeah. You and me had something lit and you let dick come between us multiple times. I don't wanna lose you but that time away helped. I just can't be as cool wit' you, feel me?"

"I get it. I'm so sorry, Jaylen."

"Yeah, you gotta prove it. Empty ass apologies and promises."

"I'll cook you some din din." she said sweetly and I cringed. Watching The Strange Thing About The Johnson's was one of my biggest regrets. Fuck that movie and Rob for talking me into it.

She was laughing uncontrollably and I smirked. "Whatchu cookin' for a nigga?" I mumbled, stopping at the light and giving her my attention.

"Anything. I highkey miss your energy and your company after long days at work."

"Aight, I'ma end my shift and see what's shakin' at the crib, ain't been there in a minute."

I had a good feeling about tonight. She was single again with no man blinding her vision, still fine as fuck, and still had potential to be my ride or die. We all know Robyn though.

*Flashback Over*

That was before she decided to go keep seeing that nigga when he first got locked up, like a dumbass. I cut her off completely, and here we are now.. 8 months later.

"Jaylen, you're eyes are hella low and redder than my lipstick! Why are you driving?"

Damn I could've sworn my mama died years ago.

"I been doing this shit all day, I know what the fuck I'm doing. It ain't like it matter. I almost died a few months back and you was being fake so don't try to act like you give a fuck now." She looked taken back by my choice of words.

"I don't care?"

"Man I ain't bout to go through this bullshit right now. You not bout to fuck up my high. Shut up."

"Shut up? Jaylen, we haven't talked in almost a year!"

"And I'm doing just fine, Ion need you. There was a point in my life when I didn't even know you and I could go back to that shit with no problem."

"Word?"

"Word."

"Look, just because you finally got some sense and stopped being pussy whipped, realizing that it wasn't your baby... doesn't mean you have to be mad at everyone else."

I started to question how the fuck she even knew that but I was stuck on the fact that she said I was pussy whipped. Says the girl who takes back the nigga that shot her best friend just because he gave her some dick. I ain't ever going out like that, she got me fucked up. First of all, who the fuck was she talking to like that?

We were almost home, I couldn't wait to get out this damn car.

"Oh so you wanna talk about whipped? Don't even get me started on yo dickmatized ass!"

"Dickmatized?" She questioned.

I had parked my car, and got out quick as fuck waiting on her granny ass. I wasn't done with this shit. She blew my High away a long time ago, so I was bout to talk hella shit. "Say what ever else you got to say!"

"Get yo ass out the car, we gone finish this shit in my crib cause I got a lot to fucking say!" I waited for her to go in front of me before shutting the door. Her dumb ass was trying to walk all fast, and since she had on heels she almost fell.

Once we reached the elevator, I immediately pressed the number 2 and waited patiently for the shit to go up. Only reason I wasn't talking shit right now is because we in public. That fight I had with King Kong almost got a nigga put out.

Before the elevator could even open all the way, I stepped off and walked down a lil bit towards the outside of my door. I unlocked the door and waited for her to go in. "Go." I mugged her as she did the same, leading the way to my room.

She plopped down on my bed as I paced back and forth across my room to prevent myself from doing something that I might regret.

"Why'd you bring me here if you weren't gonna say anything?!" She yelled, standing up in front of me.

"Who you yelling at?" I rose an eyebrow standing up, towering her. All of a sudden, all that shit she was talking had went out the window.

"I hate you.." she crossed her arms. She took her jacket off, throwing it on my bed, fixing her hair in the process. I didn't wanna admit it, but she looked good as fuck right now.

"I hate yo ass, too." I sat down next to her. After a while, there was silence between us until we both leaned in for a kiss. In between our long, passionate kiss, her clothes were being thrown like this was a game.

Once her bra was off, I stared at her small perky breast in admiration. Glancing up at her face, her cheeks were rosey red as she shyly let me stare at her. Taking it upon myself, I placed my warm mouth on one of her nipples and began sucking as if I was gone win a prize. Gripping the back of my head, she moaned out in pleasure.

With her nipple still in my mouth, I slowly swirled my tongue around her nipple ring that I was starting to love. Usually I hated them.

Laying her down on the bed gently, she ran her hands up and down my 6 pack. Helping her out a bit, I took my wife beater off for her. Adjusting myself in between her legs, I laid my body flat on top of hers as I began to kiss and suck on her neck.

Finding her spot, I sucked, licked and kissed it like my life depended on it.

“Ooou Jaylen..” Her soft moans filled my ears. Feeling my dick twitch inside my sweats, I felt Robyn's  hand come in contact with it. Grunting as she rubbed my it, she slipped her hand inside my pants and slowly made her way inside my polo boxers.

“Gone head.” I assured. Feeling her soft warm hand stroke him slowly, I could tell by her facial expression she didn’t expect for me to be this big.

Smirking at her innocent ass, I kissed her plump lips.

Continuing to stroke my hard member slowly, I continued to let my rough grunts escape my mouth. Tired of having her thinking she was in control, I lowered my body some. Kissing on her stomach, I slowly made my way down to her navel.

”Damn you fine.” I complimented. She giggled. It's crazy how we ain't talked in months, just got into an argument, and now I was about to fuck the shit outta her and teach her ass a lesson.

Getting to the waistband of her panties, I looked up at her waiting on her to go ahead for me to pull them down.

Nodding her head for me to continue, I anxiously slid her panties off revealing her wet glistening pussy. Most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Her shit was gold.

Grunting lowly just at the sight, I could only imagine how she would feel once I was inside. Thinking of her warmth surrounding my dick and her juices dripping down it made dive in head first so I could speed it up. Ready to be inside her, I plunged in and out of her with my index and middle finger while french kissing her clit. Licking, sucking, anything you could think of.

“Fuck, slow down!" She cried out with an arched back. Smirking at pleasing her, I watched with nothing but lust in my eyes as she gripped her right breast in her hand and gave it a hard squeeze.

Going chin deep inside her pussy, my main priority was to make her cum. I knew for sure nobody had ever treated her body like I have just by the way she was moaning and squirming.

Wrapping both of my arms around her thighs, I kept em that way to keep her in place. "Fuck you think you going?"

”Jay, I’m bout to cum!” She yelled out.  With my tongue deep inside her and thumb pressed down on her clit, I took my free hand and pushed down on her stomach area. Watching her legs buckle against me, I rubbed her clit fast  just in time for her to cum.

Catching her juices with my mouth, she stared at me as she could barely open her eyes while trying to catch her breath. "We ain't done yet. Getcho' ass up." I smacked her thigh with a smirk on my face. We was bout to be in this bitch fucking like rabbits.

By now my dick was hard as a rock and I couldn’t wait any longer to be buried deep inside her. Stripping down to nothing, her eyes instantly dropped down to my dick and her mouth fell ajar.

"Scared?" I smirked. Looking back up at me, she looked surprised. I don't know why she acting like she ain't ever seen it before.

”I don't think I can handle it." Wasn't she just talking mad shit earlier? Like she was big and bad. Where that Robyn go?

“Nah, you bout to take this dick.” I chuckled, stroking my dick a little more, as I slid it up and down her opening. Looking at her for confirmation, she slowly nodded before closing her eyes.

Sliding myself in, she gasped. Grunting at her warmness and tightness, I intertwined my fingers with hers to keep her from running. After a while, I knew the pain had turned into pleasure because all you could hear was the lovely sound of her moans.

Thrusting in and out of her, her sweet moans filled my ears as she begged for me to go deeper inside of her. Fulfilling her fantasy, I pushed myself in balls deep. With her nails scratching my back, it only made me dig deeper and deeper inside of her.

Although I had planned on fucking the life out of her, that plan failed drastically once I felt how warm she was. Just an ounce of warmth had a nigga dick swelling and ready to give her a baby. Looking at the love faces she was making had a nigga weak. Damn she was beautiful.

Going on with this slow shit for little over an hour or whatever, she came 4 times while I nutted twice.

By now, it was time for Daddy to have his fun and show her ass what the fuck she been missing out on. From forever friend-zoning my ass, and always blowing me off for her aint shit ass boyfriend.

Yanking her up by her long tresses, she moaned out loud. I knew she was into that rough shit. Every innocent girl is.

Going over to the bottom of the bed, I lifted her body and brought her closer to the edge. Shoving myself inside her all over again, I began to fuck her shit up with no mercy.

By the way her pussy was wrapped around my dick, I swear it took everything in me to hide the love faces that I was making. She wasn't about to see that shit.

“Fuck..” I muttered as I watched myself slide in and out of her. Calling me daddy over and over, I smirked knowingly before ramming in and out of her.

"Don't stop!" She moaned loudly, and I swear I was bout to bust right then and there.

Rubbing her clit, her head fell back in satisfaction. Not wanting to stay in the same position for too long, I walked us over to one of the many chairs that rested in the corner while I was still beating her shit up. ”Jaylen, it's so big!” she cried out with each thrust I took.

Taking a seat in the chair, she straddled my lap. Adjusting herself, she started to hesitate because of how scary she was. ”Take this shit.” I assured before slamming her down.

”Jay, I can’t!" She whined. Placing her hands on my shoulders, I sat back a lil bit.

Putting my hands behind my head, Rob pushed her own self all the way down with clenched walls causing a quick moan to escape my lips.

Thanking god she didn’t hear me, she closed her eyes and started bouncing up and down like somebody granny.

Sucking my teeth, I shook my head. Placing both of my hands on each side of her hips, I bounced her up and down at a faster pace.

”Damn girl, keep it just like that aight?” Nodding her head I let her hips go and went back to my previous position.

Watching her work my dick like a pornstar  sent me over the edge a bit and I allowed some of my cum to spur inside of her. I couldn't help it.

Grabbing both of her nipples, I began to twist them since they were nice and hard. Moaning lowly, she started to slow down and her pants were picking up. ”Don’t fucking stop Robyn.” I spat.

“I’m bout to bust again.” I informed.

Flipping over to where she was now in the chair, I hammered her pussy until I could no longer go. Feeling my dick swell inside of her, that seemed to turn her on because she started cumming all over my shaft.

“Fuckkkk.” I grunted pulling my dick out  just in time, nutting all over her stomach. I looked down at her and noticed the tiredness on her face and smirked. 

"Goodnight, friend.”

**

It was going on 12 in the afternoon and I was putting my clothes back on. I was supposed to leave last night but a nigga ended up falling asleep. Big mistake. I was tryna show her who's boss, not the other way around. I couldn't help it, Robyn's pussy was gold. I wasn’t about to feed into her shit though, fuck that.

"Where are you going? Don't go." She mumbled as she started to sit up in the bed. I wanted to laugh. Now she was starting to show some type of emotion? Nah.

"Out." I stated plain and simple as I put my shirt back on.

"No Jay, let's sit here and actually talk."

"I'll see you when I see you, Robyn." I winked at her, before grabbing my keys and leaving.

I was doing her like how she been doing me. It ain't so fun when it's you.

[yuri-or-death]

Spellbound 03: “Chained”

CHAPTER: 01, 02, 03, 04

Main Characters: Matsui Jurina, Miyawaki Sakura

Pairings: JuriSaku, WMatsui, NanaSaku/SakuNaa, YuriAnnin, JuriMomo (friendship); [Mayu/?, Saya/?, Yui/?].

Summary: Matsui Jurina is the immovable ace of St. Hildegard’s School of Magic. Considered a protégé by many Wizard Saints, her technique and mastery is second to none. Enter Miyawaki Sakura, talentless, unrefined and socially awkward. Her golden ticket for admission into the elite school is her late father’s legacy.

What happens when Sakura suddenly gets transferred to the Special Class because of a lottery? Will the mysterious ace take interest? (Magic School AU)

Author’s Note: First, just a shout out to @thelonewolf48​ for putting up with all my rants/ramblings, without you this update wouldn’t have been possible! Thanks!!

Second, things are heating up this chapter, do tell me what you guys think about the unfolding of the events.

Third, I’m trying to flesh out characters as much as I can, so I’m sorry if some scenes might be draggy. 

Fourth, for those who read the [Early Access Ver.], there is an extra scene in this final version.

Lastly, I hope you guys enjoy reading this update~! Feedback is always loved!

XXXXXX

CHAPTER 03 “CHAINED”

Sakura stared at her reflection in the mirror; her blank expression was unreadable to anyone who would dare decipher her thoughts. Internally though she felt a wave of pride, her spirits were high from the recollection of Togasaki-sensei’s challenge yesterday. The Special Class was not something to trifle with. Was their gym instructor right? Would there come a time that she would choose between the weight of duty and her life?

Her gaze did not leave her apparel. She was fully clad in her school uniform—her white coat was possibly the most pristine thing she had ever owned. In her left hand was the fleur-de-lis badge symbolizing her position as part of the Academy’s special program. She pinned it on her collar with great delicacy. Everything still felt surreal.

Would her father have approved of her joining the Special Class? Sakura was nothing like her father, whose genius in magical engineering was unrivaled. He was always skeptical of her using magic, always saying she was better of not knowing how. It was almost as if her father wanted Sakura as far as possible from the arcane world. Though she was quite sure her mother would have been nothing but supportive. Would she have been a better mage if her parents did not leave her prematurely? Part of her could not let go of the hypothesizing, of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’.

“Saku-chan?” Kodama Haruka knocked on her door. “Let’s go. We’ll be late for class.” She prompted. From the other side of the door, Sakura felt Haruka’s concern. She was like an immovable pillar in Sakura’s life, always compassionate and supportive…always giving without asking for anything in return. Sometimes Sakura felt as if she was weighing Haruka down, pulling her back when the other girl could clearly sprint away with her perseverance and skill. 

“I’m coming.” Sakura unbolted the door and greeted the other girl.

Haruka noticed the pin on Sakura’s collar and couldn’t help but smile. “Although it’s late, congratulations!” She was absolutely elated about Sakura’s transfer. Having an ally to go through the toils of school life was a welcoming development, especially amidst the dog-eat-dog atmosphere of the Special Class. While she did have amicable relations with her new classmates, especially Okada Nana and Kizaki Yuria, being with Sakura always felt like home. “I do regret not being with you yesterday. How was it?”

Sakura scratched her nape hesitantly. “It wasn’t as bad as I expected, despite messing up the falconry match.” The two girls made their way down the staircase, walking through the old corridors of the east wing connected to the main school building.

The gargoyles in the whispering corridor turned to them as they passed by; it was as if the stonework breathed a life of their own. Sakura could not deny she felt uneasy to hold their gazes. She felt like she was being picked apart.

The statue of a Minotaur shifted, pointing it’s drawn bow and arrow against them but never releasing it. “The beast of yore sleeps in the shadows; the beast of grace lingers in the heart of a wanderer; but as the new moon rises, the beast of chaos will devour the world.” It said in a raspy voice never breaking its cold stare.

Sakura instinctively pulled Haruka’s sleeve, as if seeking refuge from the other girl.

Haruka bowed at the Minotaur “Good day, Asterion.” She called it by name. “Don’t worry, Sakura. The gargoyles only speak their dreams.”

They passed by a cloaked figure without a face. Like a death god, the statue’s garbs seemed to engulf its whole being. “Do not stand on my grave and weep, I am not there. I do not sleep.” It whispered and a chill ran through both girls’ spines. The words were spoken like the kiss of death—cold, detached and foreboding.

“We’ll be on our way, Erebus.” Haruka acknowledged the cloaked gargoyle. Few students talked to Erebus because of its eerie visage.

“What are they?” Sakura muttered, it was her first time to behold such creatures. Mobility spells casted on non-living things was not uncommon but for stone to have its own character and mind was something eccentric.

“Guardians, they say.”

“Why must the Sun tempt me so, her beauty unrivaled? I lust for ascension against the rays of reason! Woe to me for I have received the oblivion.” The statue of a man with broken wings engaged them next, offering his hand to Sakura for a curtsy.

“That’s Icarus,” Haruka whispered as they passed him. She waived at him, “My apologies Icarus, we can’t stay long.”

The other gargoyles seemed to understand their haste and interacted no longer. 

Sakura was endlessly amazed with the level of craftsmanship. “Who was powerful enough to enchant the statues with a looped magical sequence?” A normal magic sequence would only last for as long as the mage casting it still had astral force to fuel the spell, which would mean that the one who created these gargoyles had an immense stockpile of aura.

“It’s not a mobility enchantment, Sakura.” Haruka corrected the other girl’s faulty assumption that the gargoyles were brought to life by some great force. “It’s more of a prison than anything.” There was a melancholic edge to her tone. 

Sakura’s brows furrowed deeply at the realization that those statues were much more than what they seemed. “You mean, they’re real beings trapped in stone?”

Haruka genuinely found the circumstances of those gargoyles cruel. “They were summoned by the first Headmaster and were bound to this school. Story says they regain their true form when danger is afoot.”

“How depressing,” A life chained to duty; a never-ending cycle without reprieve was despair itself.

“It is.” Haruka recalled their previous topic before being side-tracked. “I heard what happened during the falconry match. You really need to train your spell casting, Saku-chan.” She emphasized, she was already informed by multiple sources regarding yesterday’s hullabaloo and she genuinely felt that it was her duty to look after Sakura. Her attachment to the clumsy girl went way back to middle school—after Sakura’s parents died and she was left to her grandmother who was, incidentally, Haruka’s grumpy next-door neighbor. It was never the same ever since.

“I know…I know I suck.” Sakura conceded. “But those girls were all so intense. It was just an exhibition match for heaven’s sake.” She would not deny her utter surprise over the sheer competitiveness (and skillfulness) of the students of the Special Class. She was expecting an assortment of honor students not overpowered beasts. If this were an RPG, she would have been the rookie facing off a level 60 boss in a sudden-death battle.

“Well, it is an elite unit.” Haruka supposed but Sakura just shrugged.

“By the way, thank you for this.” Sakura pointed at the emblem on her lapel. She found a red box with Haruka’s beautiful cursive writing this morning and honestly felt like bawling over the gift. Haruka had always been there for her since that fateful night summer rain washed out the colors of Sakura’s world.

“You were out cold when I dropped by last night.”Haruka wanted to tease her for her very un-lady like snoring but her good nature decided against it. “Also, I asked the Student Affairs Committee to expedite your cloak and Senbatsu pass.”

Sakura unexpectedly locked her in a bear hug, “Just what will I do without you?”

“You’d be screwed, I’m sure.” Haruka almost rolled her eyes. She would never say it, but she felt somewhat gratified every time Sakura relied on her.

“Wait, what’s a Senbatsu pass?”

Haruka adjusted her glasses. “It authorizes you to take missions from Central Dogma.” She had not used it yet, being only their first week in class, but she heard stories from Nana and Yuria.

“You mean the biggest organization for mages and hunters?” Excitement filled Sakura’s eyes. Haruka recognized the other girl’s euphoric reaction; it was the same face she made each time they ate at that hole in the wall ramen shop back home.

“Precisely, usually students from the Special Class get the hardest missions. But since the training program is embedded in the school’s general curriculum, we can even have joint missions with the regulars.” It was part of the Academy’s prospectus to have out of school exercises as a way to immerse the students in actual combat.

“That’s so coool~” Sakura exclaimed, unable to control her self, she grabbed on Haruka’s sleeve to shake her enthusiastically.

By the time the two girls finally reached the study hall, students from the regular class were also flocking to the Academy’s biggest lecture room.

“Ah Haruppi, Sakura-chan, good morning.” Okada Nana’s cloaked presence greeted them as she came down from the staircase. Her impeccable smile would not fail to warm up anyone on the receiving end.

Her voice triggered a flood of students who started to call out her name 

“Naa-chan is here!”

“Naa-chan, good morning~!”

“You’re so cool today.” 

It was crystal clear to Sakura that the upbeat girl was definitely popular among the regular students. They crowded around the 2nd Year, battling for her attention. “This is ridiculous.” Sakura’s mouth almost gaped. She could only wish she had half of the reception Nana received.

Not long after, Nakai Rika entered the scene with laminated photographs, key chains and paraphernalia of Okada Nana in hand. “Naa-chan goodies limited stock now on sale~!” She yelled, immediately earning the interest of some students who readily paid for the merchandise. “I have special pictures never released before~!” Nakai giggled.

 Sakura was at a loss at the trade-offs happening in front of her, was this how sports enthusiasts felt during draft season? She met gazes with Nana who was at the center of the chaos but the latter only smiled lightly, as if used to the commotion over her.

“You haven’t seen half of Momoka-senpai’s fangirls.” Haruka commented and ushered Sakura inside the lecture hall, it was their first joint class with regular students and the tide of people coming in was getting thicker. 

“S-seriously?” Sakura yelped while being dragged by the neckline of her uniform. Just before she could completely lose sight of the happenings in the corridor there was a loud outcry of annoyance from a very pissed off student.

“What the hell is this commotion? Get out of my way.” Kizaki Yuria, clad in her black bomber jacket that was reminiscent of gangster sukajan, parted the crowd like she was Moses before the Red Sea. “Annin shut them up.”

 Behind her a deathly pale beauty in the persona of Iriyama Anna languidly followed. “Shhh.” Iriyama gestured a finger in front of her lips, saying nothing more. It was enough to silence the deluge of girls, nevertheless.

 “Kizaki-chi, you’ll scare them all away.” Naa-chan patted the girls on the head as if consoling them because of Yuria’s insensitive actions. “Please excuse Kizaki-chi’s vulgar mouth.” Her smile was ever present it made most of the girls swoon.

 “Learn to freakin’ control your human barricade, Jesus Christ.” Exasperation was evident in the grouchy girl’s voice as she and Annin entered the room. “What are you looking at newbie?” Yuria called out Sakura who was standing in front of her, apparently staring.

 “Nothing.” The aforesaid girl wanted to shrink behind Haruka.

 Yuria turned to Haruka for some kind of confirmation after eyeing the transferee from head to toe. “You’re seriously friends with her?”

 “Yes Yuria-chan, so please treat her well.” Haruppi instinctively moved forward as if to shield Sakura from the pair’s hard gazes. In all honestly, Iriyama Anna was more intimidating despite not uttering a single word. Her dark eyes were like hell-pits of nothingness and her skin was fair enough to see blue veins and capillaries beneath. She looked like the harbinger of death with a different name and in spite of it, she was ethereal.

 The ill-tempered girl shrugged, “Whatever, as long as she’s not stuck up like those leeches around Shiroma.”

 Sakura wasn’t exactly sure if that was a good thing.

*~*~*

 Yokoyama Yui’s strides were soundless as if she was walking on thin air rather than the newly polished marble floor. She scrunched her nose ever so slightly; the infirmary always had the smell of powerful chemicals and strange compounds. She walked towards the bed adjacent to the window and farthest from the door.

 Momoka sat on the bedside, devoted like a sentry. She watched over the unconscious girl incapacitated in bed.

 “She hasn’t woken up since last night?” Yui asked, trying to figure their next course of action.

 The bodyguard simply shook her head, gaze not even leaving Jurina’s face. The blonde girl wore a pained expression even in her sleep.

 “The Headmaster ordered me to administer a lucidity potion.” The Student Council President revealed a small vial with blue liquid in her palm. “He says it’s more…beneficial for Jurina to remain sentient.” She was half-hearted to carry out the mandate.

 Momoka’s eyebrows furrowed, the slight change in her countenance reflected her disagreement. Is that what they were to Akimoto Yasushi? Mere tools that needed to be exploited as much as possible? “Don’t even try.”

 Yui returned the vial in her pocket, knowing that pushing the matter further would be counter-productive. “Should I call Sayanee now? She was with you the last time…Jurina was—”

 “She wont come.” Momoka’s gaze dropped to the floor at the mention of Yamamoto Sayaka’s name, she did not even allow Yui to finish her sentence. “It’s a waste of breath.”

 Yui clearly sensed the bodyguard’s sudden agitation but was still committed to alleviate the Ace’s condition. “How about Nakai? I could fetch her to heal Jurina.” She recommended, genuine concern flowed from each utterance. She was unsure how to tread on uncharted territory.

 Momoka appreciated the President’s attempt to help out but knew it was futile at this point. “Tell the Headmaster we’ve finished the mission with Asphodel; if that’s what he’s so anxious about. Jurina’s burnt out.” She was resigned to wait it out. “It’s nothing serious. We should just let her rest.”

 “Very well then, but give yourself a break Momo-chan. You haven’t slept all night.” Yui still tried to persuade the bodyguard although she knew it would fall on deaf ears.

*~*~*

 Haruka studied the expression on Sakura’s face, “What’s bothering you?” She asked as the other girl fumbled with her pen. Sakura had stopped halfway in taking notes and momentarily glanced behind them as if waiting for something. Haruka was mixing potions in a beaker to achieve the perfect balance for a stamina elixir as part of their practical exercise.

 “Jurina-san and Momoka-san didn’t attend our morning classes with the regulars.”

 “You’re right, they usually come in late.” Haruka nodded, her gaze set on the empty chairs at the back row. 

Beside them, Nana interjected. “It’s not surprising. Seniors are sent to field duties more often. Especially Jurina-san because of her rank.” She explained for the first years. “You’ll get your missions soon, we might even work together.” 

“That’s something to look forward to.” Sakura replied. She began administering red liquid to Haruka’s concoction, just two drops would do. “What kind of missions, Naa-chan?”

Nana handed them a thermometer to check if the potion had reached the perfect boiling point. “It depends, some are more dangerous than others. But don’t worry, freshmen are never sent alone.” 

Veni ad me—There was a voice; soft and alluring. Sakura shifted her glance to the side, looking for its source and wondering if she had just imagined it. She then turned to Haruka who simply continued with her task. If she heard it surely Haruka, who was just beside her, would have also noticed.

Regnet exitium—There it was again, a cold whisper that tugged her soul; almost numbing her mind. 

“Ah!” Sakura suddenly cried out, a vial of dragon fire slipped and burnt her fingers.

“Careful!” Nana immediately tried to cast a healing spell on the injury. The scorched flesh began to mend itself under the blue light radiating from her hand.

Professor Shinoda approached them quickly. Although she was satisfied with Nana’s prompt reaction, it would be proper to have Sakura’s hand checked by the medics. “Miyawaki-san, please visit the infirmary, dragon fire is a very potent substance. Also, did I not tell you to use your gloves when handling corrosive solutions?” Mariko frowned severely. “That’s 5 points deducted from your performance card.”

Sakura bowed, “It won’t happen again, Professor.” She acknowledged her lack of due diligence as the proximate cause of the mishap.

“Do you know where?” Haruka asked, almost volunteering to accompany her.

“Yes, I remember.” Sakura did not need to convince them that she could head out on her own.

*~*~*

 A few rounds of ammunition fired from a modified gunblade echoed inside the training room. The clinking of empty bullet shells followed each shot. The cyborg seemed lost in the sound of gunshots reverberating like a staccato composition. Each bullet flawlessly hit the target board’s vital spots.

 The training room was clearly out of place against the gothic backdrop of St. Hildegard’s Academy. It was one of the few rooms in this school polished to scientific perfection. The latest models of magically enhanced technological weapons were mounted on the left wall panel. On the other side of the room was an enclosed area filled with supercomputers—the perfect coalescence of magic and science.

 Mayu’s trance was only broken when the training room’s metal door slid open. She took off her special visor and turned to the new comer who disturbed her drill. “What brings you here, Sayanee?” She asked point-blankly, certain modifications in her system had led to a deterioration of her emotional quotient. 

 “I should ask the same thing, why are you cutting classes?” The ever-deviant girl responded.

 “I don’t think I owe an aberration like you any explanation.” As expected, Watanabe Mayu was as transparent as it could get but she meant no offense in all fairness.

 “Touché” Sayaka smiled faintly while procuring a modified berretta that hung on the wall. “I need to distract myself from a few things, that’s all.” She loaded the weapon before taking her place beside Mayu.

 “Like your old pals getting themselves into trouble again?” Mayu was daring as always, hinting on the mishap that transpired last night. She knew the reason for the disturbance in Sayaka’s mind without the need to activate her ability of spatial calculation. After all, she was there when Momoka carried their ace to her quarters, unconscious and soaking. Mayu saw the dilemma painted on Sayaka’s face as she struggled within herself on whether to go and help the bodyguard tend to Jurina or lock herself in her own room.

Sayaka tried to brush it off, to act as if the synthesizer’s prodding did not affect her the slightest. “I’m sure that was just Jurina not taking care of herself again. She probably skipped a few meals and ended up collapsing.” Sayaka wondered if she was trying to convince herself.

 “Probably.” Mayu’s tone was indifferent as ever. The machine in her tried to rationalize Jurina’s condition but the human part wanted to show concern.

 “Tell me the truth Mayu,” Sayaka held the cyborg’s emotionless gaze for a few seconds before starting with her firing streak. “Last night…” Each bullet hit the target’s chest area effortlessly. “You felt it too, didn’t you?”

 Mayu wanted to laugh, of course she knew what was going on. Her free arm morphed into a cannon that fired a large plasma ball completely annihilating her target board, it bore a dent on the metal wall. “Why do you think I stay here? When half of my power, half of my body has been obliterated?”

 Sayaka did not find it in herself to reply. Mayu’s wounds, Mayu’s resolve; she had no elegant way to walk over them. Watanabe Mayu stood at the pinnacle of greatness once. She was the prodigious star, now reduced to a broken shell—a shadow of her former self.

 “I swore an oath, same as you.” It was duty she clung tightly to. The force of duty that kept her alive.

*~*~* 

“Shall I release you now?” Said a voice that leaked with deceit, each word dripped with venom. 

Jurina was trapped in the labyrinth of her mind; chains extending out from the abyss bound her body. The only light in the darkness was the burning tree of life a few feet from where she stood. The fire raged like unbridled fury.

She did not respond. Like in all her other deliriums, she was powerless. 

“Or perhaps, you wish to vanish in this darkness yourself? Child, are you not weary? The burden is too much to bear for you.” The serpentine voice continued to tempt her. The thought of liberation, of the end to her anguish was nothing but beguiling.

The vision of her father locked in a golden birdcage manifested in the darkness. “Father,” She tried to speak out but the scenery vanished into smoke as swiftly as it had materialized.

“Say it, one word and I will erase everything.” The chains that bound her transfigured into vipers crawling on her skin, constricting her so that it grew difficult to breathe. The snakes wound around her, sizing her up but never bearing their fangs. It was almost as if they knew, their prey could not put up a fight.

 The mark of the Great Serpent burned on her wrist.

 “Say it and I will save you from all this.” The voice echoed as the great fire that consumed the tree of life died out.

Matsui Rena’s smiling face was the last thing she could recognize before unyielding blackness fell upon her.

“Never.”

*~*~*

White curtains waltzed with the soft kiss of the afternoon breeze. Sakura found herself walking inside the immaculate room. Everything in the infirmary was bathed in white–bed sheets, curtains, dressers and alike.

“Hello?” She called out unsteadily. “Is anybody here?”

She heard some rustling from one of the partitions enclosed by white curtains

Sakura took a few steps towards the source of the sound and almost had a heart attack when the white curtain swooshed open.

 Matsui Jurina’s disheveled countenance greeted her, blonde hair and white robes in complete disarray as she struggled to stay upright on the mattress.

“Jurina-san!” Sakura yelped at the sight of the other girl who had skipped three of their subjects today. Sakura internally debated if she should move closer to help the blonde or just maintain safe distance. 

Jurina seemed half-awake, still. She hazily stood from her bed with one hand pressing on her temples to soothe a splitting headache.

Sakura finally decided to close the distance between them as she held the ace by the arm to assist her. Too close. She told herself as the heat from Jurina’s body spread to her due to their close proximity. “Are you all right, Jurina-san?” Her touch seemed to have broken Jurina’s daze.

Bright amber eyes searched Sakura’s visage. “To be seen like this is quite unbecoming. Isn’t it?” Jurina murmured as she gradually regained her own bearing. Soon enough she was able to stand without Sakura’s support.

“I don’t think you should be out of bed yet.” Sakura was unsure how to go about the developments. She came to the infirmary to be treated. Seeing Matsui Jurina was the least of her expectations. She woud not be surprised if her mind decided to short-circuit any moment at the protracted conversation she was having with the infamous Ace.

“Could you do me a favor, Sakura?” Jurina’s silken voice made it impossibly difficult to refuse. She laid a hand on Sakura’s cheek fondly. Sakura tried it with all her might not to flinch in sheer embarrassment. To be held so tenderly by someone other than her mother was certainly not a normal thing for her. How many years has it even been? Since she last felt physical affection from another human being?

The freshman nodded although uncertain at first. Sakura was unsure if the blood rushing to her cheeks was because of the Ace’s warm palm or her own self-consciousness.

“Please accompany me to the old solarium before Momo finds out I’ve come to.” Jurina tugged on Sakura’s blazer as if to highlight her sense of urgency.

“But Jurina-san, if you disappear from here you’d worry Momo-senpai, very much.” Sakura, of course, had experienced first hand how much of a worrywart the blonde’s bodyguard was. The “knight” pointed a rapier on her neck at their first meeting, ‘worrywart’ was probably an understatement.

“She knows where to find me.” 

“What she’d do to me after is what’s unsettling.” It was safe to say that Sakura’s dry humor amused Jurina at best.

“I think I haven’t failed in the ‘protecting you’ aspect.” The blonde gave a small smile and Sakura swore she felt her cheeks flush a few shades darker.

 Both girls made their way out of the infirmary; Sakura’s real reason for dropping by all forgotten.

*~*~*

A woman decked in a basil green trench coat rested her elbow on the train’s window frame. Her slender fingers ran through unruly dark hair. Based on her garbs with distinct golden lining she was probably a noble. She uncrossed her legs just to cross them back again. It was quite obvious that she was restless from the long journey. 

“Yuko, you didn’t have to come with me.” The person sitting in front of her spoke. Noticeable was the huge ribbon that held the other woman’s chestnut hair in a half pony tail. 

“And be left at Central Dogma to go through the pile of documents you’ve abandoned?” The one called Yuko raised an eyebrow as she sank further against her seat.

“You know, paper work’s part of our job as well. And it was quite hard for me to leave them all to Atsuko. ” 

 Yuko blew on her bangs, completely bored. “I’m not doing any desk job, Takamina. Besides, you’re visiting St. Hildegard Academy aren’t you? I’d get to see Nyan-nyan.” 

“Is that the only reason you tagged along? Jeez Yuko.” Takamina sighed deeply, sometimes Oshima Yuko was unbelievably stubborn and free-spirited. 

“You think a lot has changed since we graduated?” Yuko inquired, watching through the glass window as the panorama of a small village whizzed past them.  

“I’m sure some things are different.” 

“Hmmm…that feels kinda lonely.” Yuko whispered under her breath as she recalled fond memories of her time in the Academy.

“Anyway, I’m excited to meet the new recruits!” Takamina raised her fist in the air enthusiastically.

*~*~*

It was quite a long walk to reach the old glasshouse. Sakura would check from time to time if her companion was too fatigued to carry on. Thankfully, Jurina seemed to posses a good amount of stamina despite being unwell.

“Why do you wish to go here at such a time?” Sakura pried as they made their way.

Jurina exhaled sharply, “To calm myself.” She said while looking at her wrist, scrutinizing the non-existent mark that burned each time she used too much magical power. 

“I always seem to inconvenience you.” Sakura’s gaze fell to the pathway and then their feet. She recounted their first meeting in the greenhouse and then the falconry match. “I’m sorry Jurina-san.” She loathed the feeling of being deadweight.

“You’ve done nothing to apologize for.” The blonde reassured her. “You see, my decision to overexert myself during the exhibition was my own carelessness.”Jurina’s voice was unbelievably kind and encouraging. For someone of her lofty stature, Sakura expected a level of arrogance, but Matsui Jurina was modest although sometimes quite reserved.

 “Say, do you wish for me to tutor you?”

 “Ehhh?” Sakura’s eyes widened at the sudden proposition. She started to fumble with her fingers, her tongue lacing up the words she wanted to say. “Are you serious?” The freshman blurted out. 

Jurina laughed lightly, enjoying the effect she had on the younger girl. “Well, no offense…but you are lacking in magical proficiency.” She threw an arm around Sakura too nonchalantly. For once in a long while she felt like she could lighten up a bit. It brought her back to the good times, when Momoka and her could just fool around. Surely, there was something about this girl that made her break inhibitions. “And I’m the best tutor you can have.” Sakura almost giggled at Jurina’s confident remark, it seems the ace  could be quite smug if she wished. 

Fate was ever mischievous sometimes. Sakura never imagined forming working relationships with the nobles of St. Hildegard Academy but here she was. “I—I would be forever in your debt.” The shorthaired girl bowed deeply.

 As Sakura rose to eye level, she saw a lance darting towards Jurina’s back. “Jurina-san!” She hastily pulled the girl out of the weapon’s trajectory a few milliseconds from contact.

 The Ace instantly reverted to her combat-ready mode as the lance that was now impaled on the ground, instead of her body, disintegrated to light particles. “Stay behind me.” She told Sakura, the air of severity around them worsened as a half-masked figure cloaked in black materialized before them. To be able to breach the security of the Academy, surely this person was no ordinary mage.

“Good day, Matsui Jurina-sama.” The intruder made a dramatic curtsy before a barrage of bladed weapons fell from the sky targeting Jurina and Sakura.

Smoke cleared and both girls seemed unharmed thanks to protective sphere that surrounded them. A magical ring wrapped around Jurina’s outstretched hand as she bolstered the shield.

“Who are you and what do you seek?” Jurina demanded; her tone seethed with silent indignation at the treacherous attempt on their lives. Her free hand reached for a black card with a golden crest engraving from her pocket. A magical seal activated on it as the Ace pulled the card out fully; it vanished into light particles and a wave of white light suddenly surged past them engulfing the surroundings in a heartbeat.

The masked assailant held her lance in an offensive stance. “I’m here for the girl.” She pointed at Sakura.

“What?” Sakura was bewildered as everything seemed to slow down and finally freeze, save for the three of them.

“Don’t worry Sakura, I activated my Senbatsu Pass. This is Valhalla—an alternate dimension that prevents magic from leaking to the outside world.”

 “Don’t we need reinforcements?” Sakura queried but before Jurina could respond another rain of weapons came down upon them; several swords pierced the Ace’s barrier.

 “Shit.” Jurina hissed, she was not prepared to handle brute force in her current condition. She fought to keep the barrier secure but a spear successfully penetrated the crack and grazed her shoulder. Blood started to pool on the ground.

 Sakura’s eyes reflected the red liquid; for a while she was in a trance-like state. Jurina tried to get through her, only to realize it was in vain.

 “Sakura! Sakura!” The shouts were but mere echoes.

Red was the color of sunset;

Of the floor;

Of the ceiling;

Of the walls of their old house by the river.

 Red was the color of her parents’ blood,

Sprayed on the furniture;

On her face.

Red was the color of death;

Of hate

Of spider lilies blooming in despair.

 Drip

Drip

Drip.

Red was the color of her rage.

A feral scream escaped Sakura as an unfamiliar magical insignia of a Celtic cross with triquetra knots materialized around her.

Jurina’s barrier which was in danger of shattering against the rain of swords seemed to reform itself. It grew bigger and bigger until mere contact with the weapons disintegrated the said instruments.

The ace eyed the freshman in disbelief; confusion was evident in her face. “What is this…“

Their cloaked attacker gave a knowing smile not even slightly taken aback by the sheer display of power.

“We’ve been waiting for you, Morningstar.”

[ohthatbunnygirl]

Engines can be Rose (part 4)

An art school AU Reylo Drabble

______________________________

It was Lisztomania.

Well, not exactly the eighteen-forties fan-frenzied response to classical composer Franz Liszt, but the Phoenix song of the same name was certainly causing a present day scene. Walls and bodies shook in the living room, people screeched along with the lyrics at the top of their lungs, and arms flailed as intoxication ruled the night. Up against a wall, a far less enthused Rey clutched onto a cup of something she’d never drink. Desperately scanning the dancefloor for an escape route, her face took on the appearance of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ as she took a brave step forward. Horror for Rey was feeling a sweaty wet arm on her sweaty wet arm. That meeting of moisture made her want to wring old Liszt’s dead ass, and Rey thought she’d reached the end of her wits until when a shoulder bumped into her spine.

“Sorrrrrry!”

A slurred stranger’s apology didn’t count for much when sugary punch seeped between Rey’s toes. She shuddered with revulsion, but Rey miraculously refrained from flicking the drunkard off. It wasn’t anybody else’s fault that she felt awkward and out of place, but once “soiled by rum punch” was added to the list of reasons why she hated the party, Rey decided to call it a night. It wasn’t her scene at all, she couldn’t stop thinking about her art project deadline anyway, and if anybody met the girl’s gaze they would have assumed that the only possible explanation for her attendance in the first place was likely trickery.

In truth, she’d been bribed - and not even with money. No, Rey had been bribed with pizza- and not even with good pizza.

Four, eighty-cent frozen pizzas in exchange for accompanying her friend Poe to the party so he wouldn’t be alone was the deal once considered too tempting to turn down. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Rey had made a bad bargain on cheap pizza. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time that she’d been lured with pizza by Poe that month, but there was the bonus that night of getting to pat herself on the back for being a selfless best friend who cheaply fed herself too. It was basic broke ass college economics that led to Rey entering a three bedroom apartment party, but the minute they’d stepped into the chaos Poe had predictably swept away into a sea of loud greetings as Rey longed to bash her head on the rocks.

Every damn time.

After an hour of accidental shoving around a dancefloor, Rey weaved through the crowd. Pretending to dance in order to push past sweaty bodies, she slid along a wall. It took three songs to make her slippery way, but one darn good eel impersonation later she’d reached the hallway. Dabbing off her cheeks with a dress sleeve, she deeply inhaled. She tasted sweet freedom in the air mixed with a hint of nag champa incense, but her buddy Poe was nowhere to be found. Positive that her friend was likely charming the literal pants off of his crush, Rey inched closer to the front door. She was almost home free until she picked up on the faintest whine coming from behind the nearest bedroom. Much like Rey knew that she was caked in at least four people’s sweat, she also immediately recognized that that particular noise could only come from something cuddly with a nose squishy from inbreeding. 

That was the noise of something so spectacular that the normally shy girl threw open a door to a room that she had no business wandering into.

“Oh. My. God.”

Both of Rey’s hands fluttered up to her mouth as she gasped in delight. Bouncing on her toes, she loudly squealed as an adorable roly-poly puppy snorted up at her. The jumpy fawn-colored French bulldog joyfully pawing at her ankles while snorty-whining as Rey could not even….she just could not even. 

“Look at you!” Releasing a whine of her own, Rey picked him up. “Oooooh my god, you are the best thing in the world.”

Forgetting that she’d barged into somebody’s room, Rey sunk down onto the corner of the mattress resting on the floor. Lying on her side, she allowed the full on puppy attack to commence. A fluff invasion was thoroughly welcome after her crap night, and Rey swore that each little cheek lick was worth all the cheap pizzas in the world. Heck, each puppy breath snort was well worth all the flaky friends too.

“Who do you belong to?” she cooed at the little tub of velvety butter, scratching around his ears. “Who could leave you for even one minute alone?”

The question was meant to be rhetorical, but Rey had her answer when the door flew open.

“Be right back, just gotta throw down my bag-” a booming excited voice called out before his laughter died. “Uhhh, Rey?”

No, no, no, no, no.

Standing frozen in the doorway, her shocked TA gawked at her.

“There was a dog,” Rey rapidly explained, scrambling to sit up as the pup in question padded over to snort all over Kylo. “I-I heard it…he was whimpering-”

“You’re in my room,” Kylo cut her off, unconsciously scratching at the scruff along his jaw as his eyes widened. “You’re in my room…on my bed.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know that you lived here.”

“Well, I do.” 

Sinking into a thickening discomfort on top of Kylo’s comforter, Rey winced. The flustered girl felt smaller by the second as he continued staring at her with a dazed expression, and poor Rey rushed into a bad case of the rambles, “It’s just that my friend Poe was invited by this guy Finn who works at the coffee shop we go to. Poe didn’t want to come here alone in case it turned out that Finn wasn’t single -even though Poe’s pretty sure that a topped off coffee is an invitation for a blowjob. But anyways, some pizza propositioning was involved in getting me here, and then the puppy made me stay…”

Great talk, Rey.

Too mortified to meet his gaze any longer, Rey stared down at the mattress she was sitting on. The black sheets were rumpled from recent use, there were pillows on the ground, and Rey’s lips turned down into her own confused frown as she took in more and more of her surroundings. The room was stark. There were exactly zero pops of personality aside from a red painting on the wall, there was no clutter, and Rey would never have guessed that a talented artist could inhabit some place so utterly lacking in passion, so militaristic. To be fair, Rey didn’t know what she would have expected. She’d never given Kylo’s life outside the classroom much thought, but when she didn’t recognize a glimmer of the Kylo she’d obsessed over it hit her that she didn’t know him at all.  

He was absolutely altogether foreign to her.

Rey didn’t know what band posters she’d expected, or what awards he might have framed. She couldn’t guess the author of one single book on his bookshelf, and with each swallow of bittersweet clarity, her stomach turned. Feeling foolish, feeling naive, and more than ever feeling like a little girl with an out of her depth crush.

Cringing, Rey moved to get up when his voice stopped her. “So you met Ramen?”

“Who?”

“The puppy,” Kylo answered, scooping up the yipping animal for a cuddle so brief that Rey almost missed it. Sitting beside her on the mattress, Kylo continued petting Ramen while casually explaining, “I’ve actually only had him for a couple months, but he’s a pretty cool dude.”

“He’s awfully cute.”

“I think so too! Yeah, my ex-girlfriend’s family breeds French bulldogs for competitions. The pedigree is apparently strong with this family, and every puppy in his litter went for nine thousand dollars.“ Cupping the puppy’s ears, Kylo whispered, “Then some elitist twat suggested that Ramen’s walk wasn’t up to standards, and when I defended his perfectly fine trot, my ex’s mom gave him to me for free.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “You own a nine thousand dollar dog, but your mattress is on the floor?”

“Yep.”

“And you named your nine thousand dollar dog, Ramen?”

“Yep,” Kylo answered back with a grin so wide that it crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Ramen was the food that basically kept me alive freshmen year. So what better name for something else I love?”

Not about to argue with sound logic, Rey gave Ramen’s humongous ears some soft tugs. Purring at him, “And here I thought you were just adorable, but little did I know that you’re pet royalty too.”

As the puppy took an ungraceful leap off the bed, Kylo laughed. “He’s the fanciest one in the flat.”

“Well, your room is-”

“Boring.” Kylo finished for her, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you were going to say the honest answer is that it’s boring.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Something nicer then?”

“Probably,” Rey carefully considered her answered while absently leaning in closer to Kylo. ”My building on the outside honestly looks like scrap metal decided to get together in the nineteen-seventies. I don’t have much room to talk when it comes to running a place down, and I’ve always thought that you do what you can with what you have. At least the room is roomy.”

Kylo’s lips quirked to the side. “The room is roomy?”

“I meant large.”

“Yes, quite boring and large,” Kylo added with an over the top head bob. “Glad we can be honest now about it.”

“Boy you enjoy tearing it down, don’t you?”

“No, I just call a spade a spade,” Kylo shrugged, pushing his hair back behind his ears without a trace of agitation. “Honestly, my money doesn’t go into the room because any spare funds I have immediately get funneled back into my education or my art supplies. I’m too busy to worry about aesthetics inside a place I’m barely at, and I’m practical about where I spend my time- and who I spend it with. If it’s an option between taking a girl out on a date with forty bucks or buying a fancier IKEA tv stand, then I’m going to choose the girl every time. ”

To avoid the torture of hearing anything further about Kylo’s dates with other girls, Rey said the first thing that sprung to mind. Taking charge of the conversation while suspiciously eyeing his shiny black boots, “Hmm, you never struck me as all that poor.”

“I didn’t use to be.”

“You still don’t look it now.”

“Thanks,” Kylo’s gravelly voice rolled into a chuckle. “It’s nice to hear that the mostly all black ensembles I rock are doing me some covert social status favors after my fall from grace.”

“What happened?”

“Ah, that’s a good story,” Kylo sighed, his broody expression falling back in place. ”Pretty much everything about my current lack of funds has to do with a marvelous double whammy school screw over. Back when I was an undergrad, the Financial Aid office claimed that my parents made too much money for me to qualify for help. That made sense, but then after my parents cut me off after a political disagreement, I still couldn’t receive assistance.“

Rising up from the bed, Kylo placed a drowsy looking Ramen in a kennel in the corner of the room. Going through the motions of something nurturing even as the muscles along his spine tightened with tension. Back conveniently turned away as he explained, “Oddly enough, the school doesn’t exactly accept pictures of a heated up Thanksgiving Day frozen food meal as definitive proof that you’re financially screwed at eighteen. So all of the sudden, while I was taking on a sixteen-hour course load I had to simultaneously work two jobs just to afford my books, my tuition, and this apartment shared with a guy I met on Craigslist - who thankfully was not much for murdering. ”

“Wow, school’s pretty expensive here without any grants.”

“Indeed,” Kylo agreed. Sitting back down again beside Rey, he was unable to fight back the bitterness in his laugh. “There’s a reason the last gallery collection I showed was titled ‘Daddy Issues’ “

Before Rey could talk herself out of it, she took his hand in hers. Squeezing sympathetically, offering whatever comfort her small fingers could while dwarfed by his massive hand. The acrylic paint chips underneath her nails stood out so vibrantly against his skin -the quirky boldness so very her- and Kylo’s smile softened.

“You’re sweet.”

Dragging her teeth along her lower lip, Rey shook her head.

“Not entirely…”

A loud thump sounded from outside the door. Instantly, the illusion of intimacy dissolved away from them when they shifted apart from one another, hands releasing. Staring at the widened gap between them, Rey was struck with the ugly reminder that a party raged outside. Up until that moment, she’d plum forgot that her handsome crush hadn’t actually invited her to his room for an intimate chat. It wasn’t a date. They weren’t even friends. No, she’d barged her way into his life, and on the off chance that he was only humoring her, Rey gave him an out.

Stammering out, “Sorry again for slipping into your room.”

“Well, I’m not exactly kicking you out am I?” Kylo said, shifting his piercing gaze back to her.

“No, guess not,” Rey swallowed hard, chest rising and falling without hope of a steadying breath when he looked at her like every step of his day had been geared towards having her with him in his bed.  

Before the girl could trip over her own nerves again, Kylo intertwined his ink-stained fingers with hers again. An innocent enough hand squeeze kept her beside him on the bed as her heart fluttered up into her throat. Oxygen and excuses blocked off, feeling temporarily safe from embarrassing herself with words that would have proven useless after he proceeded to steal away her breath.  

“I should probably say something clever now,” he told her, “but I can’t stop staring at your lips.”

For a few stuttered heart beats, Rey was sure that she’d heard Kylo wrong until his thumb brushing against her knee proved otherwise. It was no daydream. There was nothing more real than those small maddening circles grazing against her skin as he shamelessly admitted,

“I actually think about them a lot.”

“Oh,” Rey exhaled.

Shifting his gaze from her eyes to her mouth and back again, Kylo continued, “I keep thinking about…”

“What?” Rey whispered.

“Thinking about how sweet you’d taste.”

[earl-of-221b]

noblesse icebreaker

Thank you for tagging me @spectralmelon !

Name/nickname: earl, short for my fav drink earl grey tea

How did you find out about Noblesse?: When I was in the height of my Mangareader phase, I kind of just clicked on Noblesse when the title art was getting featured as one of those ‘recently updated’ manga. (That one old pic of Rai in the white uniform and then a close up of him.) Just because. And then I, someone who had only ever read japanese manga in black and white, was blinded by the full colour art. My brain could not compute. Full colour art? Every page? Every chapter? This manhua artist was a visionary. And there’s like three hundred chapters already.  Story-wise, I got whiplash when the supposed principal of this high school bowed to the Vampire Man™ (who clearly did not look like a high schooler imo but somehow was blending in anyway). But this interaction really interested me - immediately alluding to a history between these characters that I wanted to know. And then Rai started high school and M-21 and M-24 go kekeke~ and Rai couldn’t open doors and them pure jokes about Rai being a fish out of water were delightful. Also, in the early chapters Franken’s power was bright pink! And I gobbled that up I loved his pink killing powers how gorgeous. Yes, murder Mary and Jake with pink neon lightning while grumbling about getting vampire drool on your neat clothes. 

Favorite character(s)? Frankenstein and Raizel of course!

Previous Lord is also fantastique and M-21 will always be there in my heart. (And Tao. And takeo. And Seira and Regis. Sigh.) 

Favorite scene(s)? 

HOnestly, the first time Rai had ramen and thought it was an assassination attempt - this was like so masterfully animated in Awakening it was glorious. 

Rai trying to get out of the house via the window because he felt the need to make sure Franken was ok with Mary and Jake. Mary and Jake. 

SHIT THE FIRST TIME FRANKEN SUMMONED DARK SPEAR??? I WAS SO SHOOK? LIKE YEA FRANKEN TEACH THAT PUNK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE DISRESPECTS YOUR EMPLOYEES IN YOUR SCHOOL

OH MY GOSH Remember that early part where M-21 and M-24 were answering their phone thinking that those noblesses were calling them so early? And they were like shit, M-21, quick, answer it! Be serious! Be vigilant! Can’t let down guard! And it turned out it was just a telemarketer? 

Freaking heck remember when I was totally convinced that Takeo was a lady for his entire entry arc? But anyway Takeo sniping some bad guys. Takeo getting fake-mugged and then getting saved and making friends with the Yeran High group! Shinwoo Yuna Ikhan you guys are so sweet. (Has Suyi arrived yet?) Like. Tao and Takeo hanging with the yeran crew warms my heart, looking back. 

Any time Frankenstein has time alone with Rai. 

Any time the kids are over and trashing Franken’s place and having fun with Rai like you do and Franken twitching slightly in the corner 

The early days where translation was shaky and sometimes Franken called Rai ‘My Lord.’ Loved that shit

Franken walking home with sping onions in his supermarket bag before being captured by yuri. He was just trying to do the shopping. He has a family to feed.

When tao started being himself after been freed from the Union 

When Rai is using his powers in the beginning when it wasn’t all that painful and draining to watch, where we could all cheer guiltlessly as he crushed his enemies with finesse and ease without breaking a sweat

Rai’s blood fields and how beautiful they are when drawn nicely, the different shades of red that seem to glide but we know it’s all destructive force 

Any time Raizel pats Frankenstein’s shoulder in reassurance 

RAI BLUSHING

‘I would be able to experiment and stabilise your bodies. But that depends on Master. You see, I cannot disobey his orders.’ 

‘Really Frankenstein?” or something to that effect, “I recall otherwise”

Cue Franken trying to backtrack^

Any time Rai calls Franken out like that because Franken is Franken and its great

Raskreia pulling RAgnorok

‘Frankenstien caused many incidents. The Clan Leaders used to come to me to complain.’ d e c e a s e d

Frankenstein giving Rai earrings and a ring - and then Rai going ‘it’s not my colour.’ Which was great. But also, in retrospect, Rai probably said those things to try and take Franken’s mind off of bad thoughts like ‘oh no, is the power going to be compatible??????’

Raizel fighting Raskreia. UmPH. 

Frankenstein busting into the temple disheveled and half unclothed, trying to stop Rai from fighting even though he knows he can’t and then Rai reassuring him with a smile. 

Like wow

‘Are you alright, Master?’ 

‘I’m fine, Frankenstein.’ he says with a soft smile

‘There’s no way you can be fine after that.’ Frankenstein oh my gosh. You’ve never said it stark to his face that before Franken. It hurt my soul and I loved it. 

‘Master...that’s the wrong way...’

Ramen experiments. 

Any time Franken mouths off at enemies condescendingly 

Any time Rai makes a bad guy k n e e l

Oh my gosh I just remmbered his killer line ‘This is where your eye meets mine.’

 w r e ck t, j a k e 

That scene where Franken and Rai are having tea. It’s not a happy scene but it was huge. Rai drops his teacup for the first time (graphic) and remind us all that Cadis Etrama di Raizel is not ok and has never been since we’ve seen him awake. Then, worried out of his head, Franken can’t wait for Rai to talk himself and straightforwardly asks what caused his 820y sleep. There were two big things that kept me going with a burning passion while reading Noblesse, and that was

1) Franken and Rai’s history. 

2) With all this talk of traitors and conspiracy, what was this big coup and how were able to put the Noblesse to sleep. How did Rai end up in the box? Why were Franken and Rai parted for so long??? This kept me up at night. ( I expected something much more elaborate than what’s been revealed now but still.)

When the man-bat tried to make his hostage quiet, unassuming, high school uniformed Rai. 

Rai v Urokai and Zarga - AKA the first time Rai pulled out approximately seven blood fields that looked like seven raging red tornadoes when Urokai question his ability. 

Seira and Regis. 

Shinwoo actually beating bad guys up. Shinwoo is a good kid and kind friend 

Everybody’s fav scenes: Whenever Frankenstein goes ‘Allow me,’ and Rai pauses for a moment, ponders upon it, and then agrees. 

Then Franken gets out The Violence and has tangible killing intent spilling from him in throngs that make people question his sanity. This is up there in terms of fav.

Every single time Rai feels the overwhelming need to sigh. 

Rai sighing

Rai stuttering ‘hm....um....hn....’ 

NOnsu and Sangeen making disgusted faces at all this mystical crap going on. Remember when one of the union groups tried to sass them like ‘hahah you like him??’ because nonsu and Sangeen are happily married undercover strike agents

Tao getting Takeo some sweet new pistols and getting M-21 his sweet new optimised nail filer 

Any time someone is Recruited against their knowledge into Raizel’s Knights

Raizel’s Knights doing cool shit. 

Raizel finding out about Raizel’s Knights.

Regis running through the woods trying to fend off central knights encroaching on Rai’s mansion in Lukedonia 

OH. The trio stowing away in the cargo hold of their bosses plane, said plane falling, them wake up in hospital beds and 

M-21 - what’s happening?

Tao - huh?

Takeo - F-freeze! *gun fingers.

Any time ~mind control~ fails to work in the series. LIke Regis failing at F and R. the central knights failing on the trio

Seira calling upon Death Scythe. Seira wielding Death Scythe. Seira silhouetted by a giant spirit god of death. Any time Seira fights with her giant giant scythe 

Frankenstein v Rajak fight!!!!!!! Franken v Rajak fight never saw an end but what a fight!!!

Franken murdering Gradeus. Yes. But most importantly, that one shot of Franken turning his back on his kill, a empty ring of purple where Gradeus had been devoured alive by the souls of the undead in necromantic weapon Dark Spear

Dark Spear. Any time Franken goes ‘Answer my call’ 

Ok ok ok ok the f l a s h b ac k s. All of every major flashback. Gejutel and Ragar running through the woods in pursuit of renegade Frankenstein in laced cuffs and victorian suit in medieval days. 

I loved the scene where we actually see Gejutel fight. The giant sky tearing, body vaporising lance. Regasus was huge. 

Any interaction between Franken and Ragar, good friends

‘I just started working here, hahah’ *scratches head

Everything about Rai is stoic and monumental, Franken asks this great man why he didn’t make him see the Lord and ‘...I forgot.’ 

PREV LORD AND RAI MAKE IT TO THE FRANKEN V UROKAI BATTLE

THIS IS ALSO THE FIRST TIME WE SEE FRANKEN GET POSSSSESSSED BY DS. OH MY 

The brief Franken v Rai fight literally sucked my breath out of my lungs like n o they’re actually going to FIGHT even if it’s not really Franken there but the thought of Franken and Rai fighting is just RIVETING and IMPOSSIBLE and TERRIBLE 

fav fav scene: chapter 295

you guys all know what this is 295 when they made the b o n d 

Franken destroying ninth elder with just words and wit. How dare you speak to him, you traitor of humanity 

tesamu

 A couple of weeks ago when Muzaka stopped what’s known as 废话, useless monologuing/ chatter, and straight up diced second-in-strength werewolf whom I cannot name. Blood went everywhere. Parts rained down like a chunky storm. It was glorious, Muzaka. 

Edian mildly threatening Franken and Franken sticking his head in Rai’s door to tattle on her. 

Forgive me for this list.

Why are you still following it? The characters. Franken and Rai are very important to me. 

How do you like to spend time in the fandom? (“I liveblog the chapters”/ “i roleplay”/ “I draw fanart” / “I like to read fics” etc.)

I write fanfic when I have time! 

Sometimes I sketch some fanart but I’m also prone to the one angle, one face, pencil-only thing. 

Do you have any ships and/or crackships that you’d like to share? When I started writing Who is the Monster, I didn’t ship Franken and Rai. In fact, I’d followed noblesse for a couple of years before finding that, yes, I do like them together. In a world where love feels very...cheap? in media, I don’t really like shipping and platonic relationships just appeal to me more. Unless there’s something that really draws me in I’m not that interested. I mean, there’s doumeki and yashiro, and victor and yuri and other ships that are great! But in the beginning of last year I got into Franken and Rai. Writing Who is the Monster really made me realise that Franken and Rai are romantic to me. Really getting to flesh out what’s up between them and making up in-character interaction changed the direction of the fic. It’s like that saying where - I wrote the characters the way they wanted to go. And where they wanted to go was be in deep love with each other to the point of self destruction. Hm. 

that, and I read other writer’s fics about them and found it so nice

(looking at you, Nerdanel/daylight-star - your rosa de sal - and Laryna6)

(also qdeanna later, your art is <3)

So that’s how I tricked myself into writing a 130k+ slow burn fic. 

My best contribution into the online literary world. 

when all songs on the radio you relate back to Franken and Rai you know things have c h a n g e d

I really want to talk to someone about ____________!

Writing more noblesse fic so I can read it. I want to read more noblesse material. Please write me more fic. I know I’ve been blocked for ages but maybe if you guys write some I can get back into it. I really love Franken and Rai. More Franken and Rai, please. 

I’d like to tag @qdeanna @laryna6 @daylight-star @alexvolkovvlad