#shout out to “are you seeing anyone” i always get all excited to reread that part

[jichanxo]

actually am intrigued by your writing process! writing ficlets just for the exploration and all that. can you tell me more about how this works for you/how have you come up with this/all that? and do you plan on publishing the senseific ficlets somewhere in one place?

wrote a description of the entirety of how I’ve been working on sensei fic and it’s very very long, so. under the cut. (excuse my self indulgence, i absolutely could have answered this more succinctly, but i thought it would be fun (to me) to talk about my process with senseific as a whole)

I mentioned it before, but I am not a planner when it comes to writing, so I just do whatever the hell I want. and this works great since almost all my writing is short one-shots! just start on something as vague as a feeling or as detailed as a fleshed out idea and just start rolling. see how it goes. and then I go over and edit, add and cut or refine. nice and easy.

unfortunately, sensei fic doc (or rather, “yagamikuwana school au.docx” as my literal document naming goes) currently looks like this:

this includes me writing down ideas and some half formed snippets/exchanges that i’m not sure will make the cut, so it’s not an entirely accurate word count, but the point stands. it’s hardly the longest fic in the world by a long shot obviously, but for me this is uncharted territory. I just… don’t write… anything this long. ever. so sensei fic has been kind of odd because I am still very much a “just do whatever you feel like” writer, except that process has been stretched over months and months. I jump around doing different things without necessarily a coherent order, deciding depending both on what I feel like and what needs to be done

I’ll try to outline the progress behind senseific as best I remember it: well I first had the idea during my first stint with kuwagami after LJ in 2023… I can’t say I remember much from then. I started as I always do. with an idea and a dream. I wanted mundane romance kuwagami. I one day thought about if he’d somehow stay as kitakata and still met yagami. I pushed together as many pieces together as necessary to make it work (and tried to use what was already there because it would be too difficult to make stuff up on my own) – reuse seiryo high, put it in tokyo (it would be difficult to justify having yagami regularly go to the mrc if it was in another city and he didn’t have the main case of LJ to keep him around ijincho). amasawa and the club are a natural addition and an easy way to keep kitakata and yagami around each other despite an initial distaste for each other. I had a few ideas as to some of the exchanges I wanted them to have… some ideas as to fleshing out the new setting… and I did what I usually do and just riffed.

now here’s the main part of the process that I’m sure is already obvious by my saying I’m not a planner: I try to think through the internal logic of the au setting or come up with a fun idea I want to include -> I make a note of it or start writing it immediately (regardless of its spot in the fic) -> I see where it takes me -> review, add, cut, refine, consider it in the context of the wider fic. see if anything else comes up. use my best judgment and do whatever.

some of the earliest things I remember writing for this fic is the intro, a scene with kitakata being an annoying flirt (kitakata taking yagami's cigarette was an image that stuck in my head hard), and one of the first scenes with the mrc. since I wrote quite a bit out of order, eventually I ended up focusing on bridging, following the natural logic between the scenes I wanted to write, trying to connect things. the scene after the intro. whatever makes sense after that. go over everything, edit some more, make sure everything feels as cohesive as I can make it. (I think somewhere in the middle of this I dropped off until I got my second wind on kuwagami, where I picked it up again)

I have something like: intro (setting up the au and making it all clear to the reader as quickly as possible. probably inelegantly but it was a start), which naturally progressed to elaboration on kitakata and yagami’s relationship, a school club scene, me trying to think of another way to get kitakata and yagami in a room together, kaito and kitakata meeting, whatever progressed naturally as a result from that, etc. go back over, adding more things as I thought of them, fleshing stuff out (hello sawa sensei!) and all that. Though I’m working out of order, eventually a sequence starts to form. The beginning is the most fully formed rn, since I have the clearest idea as to how things should be when they start, and what should logically follow. I also like starting my editing from the top unless I have a specific scene in mind to look at, so I’ve read over the beginning the most times of anything else.

obviously I always had vague ideas as to progression, but now that I was starting to fill in more gaps, I had to think about it more seriously to ensure consistency between older scenes and new scenes. I rewrite a bunch of things for senseific not just as editing, but to add new context that wasn’t there previously, and in some cases totally overhaul them to better fit the tone, to adjust the overall progression. one of the scenes in the middle, which I mentally call “are you seeing anyone", is one I really enjoy, so I worked hard to adjust that to better suit the new context so I didn’t have to scrap it outright. on the other hand, kitakata’s phonecall scene is one that got the total overhaul treatment, because the tone no longer matched – kitakata was originally more… hm… disagreeable there, and it wouldn’t have worked with the way the yagami-kitakata relationship development was panning out, so I kept the bones but wrote it in a different direction. since nothing is really planned, most of this fic is in a state of perpetual flux. everything is subject to tinkering if need be.

it’s probably pointless for me to refer to specific scenes since they’re not posted publicly but. well. I guess it’ll make sense later if/when I post senseific. at least I know what I mean for now.

anyway, since a lot of my initial writing in the “do whatever you want” phase was about kuwagami and the development of their relationship, my first attempts at planning and organising are also about that (though I did try to keep the school stories plot in mind at the same time). I had to try and take what I already had and marry them together, make some kind of logical order.

around this time I was already on tumblr and posting some other kuwagamis and just generally feeling great about writing. I ended up showing four-white-trees (excuse my favouritism) some of my starting scenes on sensei fic since it had mostly settled down by then, and it was certainly by this point that I was feeling More Serious about making sensei fic not only Real (and genuinely trying to make it complete), but hopefully good, LMAO. not just some “if it happens it happens" venture. But yeah I was thinking more seriously about my details and getting some feedback on it for the first time and just. Man. Shit got real for me. I want to finish sensei fic even though I started it not knowing if I could commit.

ANYWAY. I was trying to lock in a sequence of events for the kuwagami relationship progression, ended up making a spreadsheet for my fic so I had a more digestible timeline to look at and understand what beats happen where, how I can smooth out any inconsistencies, where my gaps were. I’ll probably be coming back to that sheet to sort out school stories plot… but yeah. not just pure improvisation anymore.

more details started to creep out of the woodworks. I originally wrote something incredibly stupid that I ended up trying to twist into something serious lmao, and that is the um. Maturity/immaturity throughline.

Fuck. God this is embarrassing. But. I once, half asleep, wrote Yagami comparing Kitakata’s insensitive/rude flirting with him as being like a kid picking on his crush. and um. I read back over that later and. My god. You can’t just mention bullying with Kitakata around and not have it mean something. So, well, I tried to talk myself through it and arrived at something with meaning. Kitakata has to learn to not be an asshole with his flirting. To be mature about it and be a little sincere and honest and maybe not mock Yagami to his face. Yagami also learns that he’s being immature towards Kitakata in some ways and has to grow past that. They both have to grow up and talk like some fucking adults, and that’s how they can move on from the conflict that defines their early relationship. Yeah. And of course the school setting and bringing in Sawa and the students as other comparison points will help develop the theme some more. anyhow, it's not something I’ve fully sorted out, but my point is that I stumbled on this totally by accident. unplanned. I hope I can tease it out in an interesting way because it’s not quite there yet, but it’s funny how it went from a thoughtless line to something that I think is… surprisingly defining… just gotta stick the landing...

but yeah, the big picture kitakata-yagami relationship stuff was coming together. right now I’m at the stage where that plotting is as planned out as it can be without the school stories side being completed. the next big step is getting my notes so I can figure out a proper school story progression that I can line up with my kitakata-yagami plot, see how they fit together.

with regards to exploration writing – while writing/thinking about the main plot, a bunch of details have come up in passing. and while I can be vague and try to write around it, it feels so fake? It feels so obvious to me when I’m writing around something because I haven’t thought hard enough about it.

I was writing a scene where… hm… how much do I say here… Yagami has to come to understand that it’s personally important to Kitakata to make sure his students are okay, and with that is Sawa alluding to what happened with Mitsuru. and to be clear, she’s not so tactless to say it outright, but I knew, deep in my heart, that I was writing some non-committal bullshit. I was writing about her talking about what happened without enough knowledge myself as to how I think it changed Kitakata. So I forced myself to understand how Mitsuru changed Kitakata by writing about what happened between them. That’s the ficlet. And then I could look over what I wrote with Sawa with full perspective and decide if it really did sound the way I thought it should sound. I really enjoyed writing that as a personal piece of art, but it was very much a tool for my own understanding.

It’s something similar for Itokura and Kitakata now. Because my focus is shifting towards the school story plot, it raises an obvious question: If Kitakata was changed by the Mitsuru incident, then shouldn’t he have tried to do something about what happened to Itokura? (I am once again thanking four-white-trees for poking me) I can’t write about the relationship between these two in the main plot without a proper understanding of this. And I prefer to write than to plan, hence the sunday six wip. I start with a vague idea and write and see where it gets me. when I do that I’ll have a better understanding of how I want these two to operate, in a way that’s more detailed that my initial vague ideas.

That’s basically it. It doesn’t need to go in main fic but I have to write it so I feel I can make the right judgment calls. I’ll probably do this as much as I feel necessary, and yeah, I don’t see any reason not to post them since, unlike the main sensei fic which always has things changing around, these explorations should be locked in. I did make sensei fic stuff into a series on ao3, so I’ll keep putting them there as they come up.

[vangelini]

Boyfriend For the Night | Spencer Reid x Reader

Part 2, Finale!!

Summary: During a night out with the team, you and Spencer find yourselves together at the bar. So, when a creep tries to pick you up, he tries his best to defend his best friend (by being MORE than just that…)

Tags: fluff, pining idiots, BAU!Reader, Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption 🤷‍♀️

Words: 1.4k

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It was often, after difficult cases, someone on the team would shout out a suggestion of “what’s everyone doing tonight?” or “anyone wanna go get some drinks?” This time, it just so happened to be Penelope.

“Come on, you know it’ll be fun,” she pleaded to the boy genius packing up in the bullpen.

“I don’t know, Garcia. I’m not sure how much fun I’ll be,” Spencer gave a tight-lipped smile, putting another file in his over-the-shoulder bag.

“Pretty Boy, you’re plenty of fun,” Morgan jested, one arm around Garcia. “Plus, I think Pretty Girl is going, too,” he smiled.

Spencer knew that was your nickname, given affectionately by Derek. He mulled over it in his mind. At least, if you were there, he might have someone to talk to about common interests. You were, after all, the only one on the team that could follow along with his ranting, taking the chance to blab about your own latest interests, as well. “Fine, I’ll go,” he came to the conclusion that hanging out with team would probably be more exciting than rereading a scientific journal to the soothing sounds of Vivaldi. Plus, he would get to see you outside of work.

“Yay!” Penelope clapped her hands together, her blonde pigtails bouncing. “This’ll be so much fun!” She grabbed Morgan’s hand and started walking out of the bullpen. “See you guys there!”

—

You spotted him as soon as he walked in, grinning wide with a small wave.

“Spencer!!”

He laughed, waving back, in response. He scooted in next to you in the tight booth, his leg hitting yours. “What did I miss?” He asked, smiling at the team.

“Just hearing about Emily’s worst dates,” you smiled up at him, elbows on the table.

“Captivating,” he joked, a little stiff from the close proximity between the two of you. Spencer couldn’t deny that he was attracted to you. Well, he could, and he has been, ever since he met you. Sure, it earned him some teasing from the team, but you weren’t free from it either. ‘That’s just what happens when a man and woman are friends,’ he rationalized. But your relationship was closer than just friends. (Best friends?) It was hard to ignore the way you turned to him, when in a group, or how you always lit up when someone mentioned his name. And if Spencer was trying to hide how big his smile got when he got to rant to you about his favorite subject, or how much you two laughed about who-knows-what in the bullpen when the team wasn’t around, he wasn’t doing a very good job. And he certainly wasn’t doing a good job now, trying to keep his composure as you giggled next to him, as the conversation went on.

“Well, I’m getting another drink,” you spoke between a laugh. “Spencer, you wanna come with?” He looked up at you, standing with your purse over your shoulder.

“Sure,” he smiled, following you out of the booth and to the bar.

“I’ll have…” you leaned against the bar, tapping your chin in thought. “Whiskey and coke, please,” the bartender nodded. “Spence, you want anything,” he looked down at you, hands in his pockets. He squinted down at the little plastic menu that the bar had printed out.

“Just club soda, please,” he smiled shyly at the bartender. You stood up, leaning your hip on the counter.

“I’m glad you could make it,” you spoke to him, smiling.

“Me too.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Penelope, but I can’t hear about what she does in the bedroom with Kevin anymore,” you laughed at the end of the sentence. Spencer did, too.

“I know what you mean,” he noticed the way you messed with the zipper on your jacket as you spoke to him, a habit he picked up on quickly, when he first met you. “However, I think listening to Morgan talk about his one night stands is arguably worse,” he laughed.

“It’s SO much worse!” You hit him on his sweater-clad arm, playfully, a wide smile pulling up at your flushed cheeks. He laughed with you, putting his head down a little to hide the blush that bloomed up on his nose.

“Only about fifty percent of first dates result in a second one,” he continued, cracking his knuckles nervously. “there are ways to increase that likelihood, like a good first impression, or establishing shared interests early on,” he gained a little confidence. “actually, over sixty eight percent of successful couples report that they were close friends before dating,” he spoke the last part before he could think about it. After he realized what his words might have suggested, he closed his mouth, turning away shyly. You smiled to yourself, putting your head down a little. “That’s, uh, probably why Morgan hasn’t found someone yet,” he turned back to you, smiling tight-lipped. “At least ONE reason,” he laughed. His lips pursed gently, his chestnut hair dangling around his ears. You looked up at him gently as he loosened his tie, still laughing a little at his joke. Your eyes wandered toward his lips. He licked them nervously, glancing back down at you, eyes scanning your face.

You were snapped out of you Reid-filled daze when an unknown man spoke up next to you.

“Hey, pretty lady,” his voice was gruff and had an inflection that somehow communicated that he had never touched a woman in his life. “Can I buy you a drink?” You turned around to see a man no older than thirty smirking slyly next to you, leaning on the bar. He absolutely REEKED of cigarette smoke.

“I’m okay,” you smiled nervously, subconsciously moving closer to Reid. The doctor narrowed his eyes, a little put off by the advance.

“Come on, pretty girl like you, here all alone?” He advanced. “Let me buy you a drink,” he reached out to put a hand on top of yours, but Spencer stepped in.

“Uhm, actually, she isn’t here alone,” he ran his hand through his hair nervously, giving the man a tight-lipped smile. The man looked between you two, a confused look on his face.

“For real?” His voice came out like gravel, and he scoffed a little bit.

“Yeah, for real,” you grabbed Reid’s hand, squeezing it. “I’m here with my boyfriend,” his heart skipped a beat or two when you called him that. Boyfriend. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at the man.

“You’ve GOTTA be joking,” he slurred, laughing.

“No, she’s not joking,” Reid stood up straight, tucking his hair behind his ear. “And, actually,” he began, his tone changing to how it usually did before he went on a rant. “According to surveys, around seventy percent of women find unsolicited advances in bars to be unwelcome and uncomfortable, rather than flattering,” he pressed his lips together, shrugging a little while squeezing your hand. You couldn’t help but giggle at his attempt to scare the guy off. The man just stood there, confused. “Studies show that people decide within the first seven seconds if they're interested in someone. If you come off as aggressive or disrespectful, your chances plummet, which,” he looked back at you, smiling. “I think is what happened here,” he was proud of himself; you could tell.

“I don’t need your statistics, Einstein, I think-“

“Actually, Einstein had an IQ of about 160; I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read over twenty thousand words per minute,” this effectively wore the creep off, because he just mumbled an angry ‘whatever’ and walked away toward another group of girls.

You looked up at your friend and broke into laughter. He joined. “I cannot believe that worked,” you squeezed his hand a little, turning to face him.

“Honestly, me either. I figured he would either get bored and leave, or end up punching me,” he laughed out. “I may be in the FBI, but I don’t think I can handle a drunken bar brawl.” The bartender set the drinks on the counter in front of you and you gave him a small smile, grabbing yours. “The team’s probably waiting for us,” Spencer grabbed his drink, dropping your hand. You picked it back up, looking up at him.

“Just in case we come across any other creeps,” you smiled, a warmth running through the both of you.

“Good thinking,” he mused, squeezing your hand tightly, walking back toward the booth.

Morgan spotted the both of you, turning away from his conversation with Hotch.

“Oh? What’s this? Pretty Boy and Pretty Girl holding hands,” he crossed his arms. You rolled your eyes at the comment.

“Some weirdo tried picking me up, so,” you held your intertwined hands up so they could see. “Reid is my boyfriend, for the night,” you smiled, taking a sip of your drink. It was, supposedly, just for the night, but Spencer liked the sound of that.

And, admittedly, so did you.

(‼️💕IF YOU LIKED THIS, REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN💕‼️)

[joculine]

DIE Issue #2 Reread (Gillen & Hans)

I was pretty hooked on DIE from the concept alone, but this issue is what showed me the story itself would be something special. Sir Lane, the knight of kisses wraps up everything special about this comic to me into one, horrible little story. I love it. Let's dig in.

Art

Eyes are a big deal through the series, but they're an especially big deal in this issue. Hans is really killer at showing emotion through them here, the guilt Ash feels, the anger Sol & Matt feel, and of course the hate from Sir Lane.

I especially love her fight scenes. They move in broad strokes, not focused on any specific sequence of action, but the specific moments of victory and defeat that occur through the fight.

That's important when you're dealing with a cast as large and unique as the party. Everyone has these super powerful attacks with over the top video-game flairs, so she has to make sure to draw your eye with color and shapes.

I especially like how red is used in this scene, a strong color associated with violent magic from just about everyone. Historically, I've associated the red licks of fire with Ash and her dictator powers, but I think that applies to all members of the party here. Perhaps we are meant to see red as the color of violent magic? Or perhaps just the party's magic?

Isabelle's talks with her gods are another standout for me. These panels are always so interesting, I love to see how each one speaks, how they treat Izzy, and how little she seems to care about them. She keeps her back to them, refuses to meet their eye, but is still shadowed in most interactions. It also looks like a persona summoning scene, which is fun to me.

A special shout out to the cartoonish look of Ash's memory of Sir Lane. So idealized & flat, the perfect way to do this childhood flashback. Everything was so much simpler then... NOT. We'll get into it further on.

Actually, why wait?

This is up there for my favorite moments in the comic. Like I said, this is where I realized what DIE was doing—this is a story about careless people ruining their lives and the lives of others for the sake of "fantasy." And it's a story about the logical conclusions of those fantasies crawling back to you and covering you with awful worms.

What's incredible is the conciseness here. In just 8 panels over 2 pages, we see the entire tragedy. Sir Lane, the Angrian knight of kisses, was a fling for young Ash back in the 90s. Maybe even her first fling as herself:

It's an exciting thing for her, to be kissed as a woman. To be wanted as a woman. But Ash barely remembers this guy. She does recall their last meeting—he joked he wouldn't rest until he saw her again, asked her to use her power to make it true. She did. He died. He never rested. His eyes rotted. A lover's joke became a never-ending curse.

We see here how careless Ash has been with a very serious power. As the Dictator class, she can speak things & feelings into being. If she isn't careful, this power will rewrite reality to make her words true. Sir Lane is only the first casualty of this we see. What other horrors are waiting for them in this world, still reeling from the fickle whims of teenage demigods?

House Rules & The Fallen

Isabelle tells us the party takes this world seriously. They can't know how "real" Die is, so they have to treat it like it is real.

I don't think anyone in this party is actually playing this way though. The proceeding bit with Sir Lane is strong evidence against it, but even just moments before this interaction, we have the party going all out on the Fallen and this nice little explanation from Ash:

You know, some people would call me a trap with legs, but I hope there'd still be moral question to killing me. Anyway.

I was really mad the first time I read this, back in 2018. Orc discourse wouldn't hit its stride for a few more years, but even then I found it frustrating. If we're supposed to believe that these characters are treating Die as real, why are the Fallen different? Are "orcs" not people? Are they not conscious? Perhaps are used as unquestionable fodder in early D&D and LOTR, major influences on DIE, but I feel like we're past that now. The easy answer for the moment is that they are more like zombies than orcs, but that's still not satisfying for me. This whole scene appears to be a weirdly out of place statement for the comic.

Let's hold onto that feeling of dissonance—it feels bad for a reason. Without spoiling too much, Ash & the party's knowledge of the Fallen is pretty sparse at this point. They know them as hungry, diseased automatons. There's a lot more to them. A lot more. As we'll find later, this statement is just wrong.

This is a really important theme for the comic: The party is often wrong in what they think and what they do. Their attitude as 90s gamers will keep butting heads against more modern TTRPG ideas. This past thoughts/present thoughts conflict will continue not just with the Fallen, but in pretty much every aspect of the story.

So What's Up With Sol?

You've gotta love this guy—the dramatics, the get up, the ambush, it's all classic GM shit. Look, he's even having to stop himself from spoiling things here, he's just so excited to see his friends again!

Okay, maybe there's something a little worse than that going on here. Sol is (obviously) a really bad friend here. He's stating that he wants to bring the party back for another game—the war is over, now we're here for fun.

Ash reads this differently. She sees him as furious, furious beyond the point of sanity.

The other players have their own ideas. Isabelle, it seems, might be taking Sol at his word, but she's trying to talk him down. Matt is, pretty rightfully, furious. He's been brought out of his normal life into the worst place in the world. Angela bargains. Maybe she thinks Sol is crazy enough to fall for it.

So what's really going on here? Why did Sol bring them back, why now? We don't get an exact answer here, but I don't think it's anything put forth in this scene. Or maybe a bit of all of it. We'll learn more the next time we see Sol.

Other Thoughts

Well, here we go. We've got our quest, we've got a combat in, even some roleplay. A pretty good first session! I do like how these early bits are all structured like standard D&D sessions.

I already gushed a bit about the art in this issue's action scene, but I also want to call out the way Ash's narration works there too. Everyone's role in the party and their powers are very clear. It's a good set piece to show what everyone can do and why they're cool.

If you're considering reading DIE, I'd try to get through at least these two issues. If you like the tone and the characters, keep going! It just gets better from here.

In fact... next issue introduces one of my favorite bits of world-building in the series... but we'll save that for later.

[empresskadia]

Alright m’dears, I’ve finished Halo: Fall of Reach and officially started Halo: Silent Strike, so prepare for spoilers.

Spoilers ahead

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.

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First, had no idea Silent Strike was Fred’s point of view, I’m kicking my feet, I’m so excited. I’m only 2 chapters in and Fred’s so precious, he’s just a nervous big little guy that will get the job done. And Kelly, I swear she’s always ready to throw hands, 10/10.

Now, for Fall of Reach, buckle up, it’s a ride.

I won’t lie, it took me a good 4-5 days to read, I had a hard time getting into it. It was good, I loved the development of lore but it wasn’t keeping me on the edge of my seat till the end. Halsey was such an interesting character to read and seeing the way Cortana was later questioning the things her creator did was fascinating. Especially with the Spartan program, like it’s messed up but it did what Halsey said it was going to do. I love the way it explored moral wrong decisions vs the choice that had to be made. Halsey cares for her Spartans but they were made to die for humanity, so does that make her a monster? Or someone with a duty to complete? I can’t remember who said it in the book but they said something among the lines “someone who didn’t care for them, could’ve been in charge of the project instead of you.” I have thoughts about Halsey that go back and forth.

Sam’s death was sad, like I’m still upset about it. I understand why they killed him off but man, come on. The fact that John couldn’t look back or else he would’ve stayed to die with Sam made me close the book and let out a long sigh, I was so sad for them. But also a huge character development for John and Kelly, I never see anyone talking about Kelly’s character development after this. Personally, I feel like this is why Kelly’s always the first to volunteer, why she’s always thinking so fast and reacting before she fully thinks through some of her actions. I will revise this once I finish Halo: Ghosts of Onyx.

The Keyes loop was interesting and smart as hell but after that I didn’t really care, I loved Keyes in the game and the beginning of the book, but I found him a little boring later. Like where’s Miranda? What about Halsey and Keyes’ love affair? The drama? The tea? Where is it? Like seriously, they got a kid together and nothing, I thought that was weird.

AND LINDA’S DEAD??? I’m sorry, what? I know she lives but I wasn’t really ready for it, I had to close my book and walk away. I did infact shout and hit my coworker with the book in disbelief when it happened. And poor John thinks he’s the only one left, this man’s going through it. Also hate the way James died, that was awful.

I have more thoughts that I can’t remember and will do a reread later with annotations, so there will be a part two when I finish reading all the books. A year later lol.

Thanks for joining my Ted Talk.

[literaphobe]

first of all i just wanna say how amazing tvl has been so far and the JOURNEY it has taken me on. tumblr user literaphobe i do not exaggerate when i say it is the best aged up/smut ladynoir fic ive ever read— if not THEE best ladynoir fic ive ever read period. u might as well just rip my heart out of my chest and take it because it is YOURS. second of all, i wanted to say a thank u (on behalf of everyone) for taking the time to not only write an amazing fic but also engage with ur fans and really show how much u care about ur artistry!! i can tell this project is something precious to you, and thats something that really makes ur work all the more special. i very badly wish that i could shout from the rooftops for everyone to give tvl some love. u so deserve it. THIRD OF ALL: i do have a question that may have already been answered, but is tvl completely done? or are u writing along as you update? either way, no rush for updates! i dont want u to get burnt out or anything. as much as we love love love ur fic, ur health and wellness comes first always :) but nonetheless i am very excited for chapter four!!! xoxo

ANON IM IN A PUDDLE OF GOO… WHAT WILL U DO ABOUT MY SOPPING WET HEART…

im so so so so so so so sos os so sos os sos ososos so glad u love tvl!!!!!!!! ive always loved engaging w readers and encouraging interaction and building a sense of community of sorts? around my stories hehehehe and im genuinely just so humbled and honored when u guys participate in that 🥺🥺🥺 anons like this truly make my day, my week, my month, my year, and just like w tvl comments on ao3 i go back and reread anons like these TEEHEEHEE :D

tvl IS so precious to me, and it warms my heart so much that you’d shout it from the rooftops!!! tysm for making this experience worthwhile 😍😍

ALSO i have written all of tvl YAYYYY it’s what i spent 2023 doing HAHAHAHAH i started planning this fic in December 2022!!! that being said, i do a lot of rereading and editing here and there between updates, just to make sure ive got everything the way i want it to be JDJDJDJ -> tysm for caring about my wellbeing tho UR SO SWEET see you in ch4 WOOOOOO

and to anyone seeing this. ch1-3 of tvl are available, links r in my pinned post! it would mean the world to me if u checked it out ^_^

[baladric]

💘💫🤍🪄 🦋 for the ask thing!

ehehe thank u anon!!!!

💘 Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

honestly kind of all of them? i am chronically dissatisfied with my end products—mostly because i look back at them and see nothing so much as pacing issues, and a propensity to attribute too much emotional intelligence to my pov characters. i'm not going to rewrite them, but if i had a perfect world and limitless time, i'd rework both Sweet Hope and a pearl in my hand. they're both so good, but they could be so much better :')

💫 What is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i'm very partial to the comments that involve people quoting the bits that personally victimized them >:3c with a very loud shout-out to the wildly sincere and personal ones—i write because reading has helped me through every hard moment in my life, and hearing that i've given that gift to other people means the fucking world to me

🤍 What's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i think generally people pick up what i'm laying down, but one thing that irks me a little is a minor trend of people reading Sweet Hope and walking out with the "Maia Drazhar Is An UwU Cinnamon Roll" thing still lodged in their heads. as a person who's been categorized by many abusers/toxic loved ones as A Faultless Ray Of Sunshine, i can say that it's an awful, awful place to be, and unfortunately i take my job as Disillusioner Of Maia Drazhar's Fawn Image very personally whoops, which was kind of a central motivator for me in writing that story? like that's one of the core themes, right? maia's aunt attributes a faultless and innate Goodness™ to maia, and everyone gets Upsetti about that because they all recognize that maia chooses to be good, though he has every reason in the world to be callous and cruel—and that it's the deliberate choice of compassion and consideration that defines him, and not some like. idk built-in Sweetness Coding. he is not good or sweet—he chooses goodness and sweetness, and that distinction is very, very important to me, and to my interpretation of maia, because it allows for the complexity of human (elvish lmao) error. he doesn't always say the right thing, nor should he be expected to by those closest to him. he doesn't always make the correct choice, nor does anyone. so like. idk!! he's not A Cinnamon Roll!!! that is very reductive to me and rubs me very wrong!!!!!!!!

🪄 What is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

if it's a longer fic, there is a great deal of celebratory shouting and probably some excited dancing, followed by a jittery lap around the house before obsessively refreshing the fic page to watch the hits go up lmaooooo. for ficlets, i tend to say "NICE" very loudly, drop it and go do something else with a warm ember of satisfaction in my heart. usually there is a little drink involved in both of these.

🦋 What are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

oh boy uhh, everything kind of!! i worry a lot about my characterizations, bc i definitely have Opinions and i've come this far without getting my ass cancelled but i do worry about dumb stuff like oh no what if people don't like that i refuse to believe goblin emperor elves are all Literally paper-white and perfectly blonde or shit i shouldn't have leaned so hard into selectively mute link. and i do worry too about the self-indulgent Breakdown parts of my writing, eg the whole scene in Sweet Hope of maia breaking down at the opera or the big in pearl in my hand where link wigs the fuck out on sidon. those always feel too loud to me, somehow, like i've allowed myself and my characters too much license or awareness or Clarity or something? i usually refuse to reread those parts of stories tbh. like i'll do a cursory editing pass and then never ever touch those sections again bc i just get so embarrassed ;alkdfjwa;d

fic writer ask meme!!

[littlemissmeggie]

My apologies in advance, as it's been a while since I've read this one, so this won't be particularly in depth or well thought out. I need to reread in order to do that. But off the top of my head, 1) I'd like to see Jake and Elora happy and going strong. They're adorable together. 2) Harry's character growth and maturity. Curious to see how that will play out. He's still so young, so it'll be a work in progress, I'm sure. I'd also love to see his reaction and response to the song and album. 3) Nick. I don't know if I want him to just go away and be a non-entity, or to get his comeuppance, or have his true self exposed. 4) Love seeing their families. 5) And the support group. 6) Niall being happy and loved and appreciated forever and always! Okay, it's past my bedtime, and it shows, lol. Seriously, though, I'm certain I'll love whatever you write :)

omg thank you! i wasn't actually expecting anyone to send me anything or anything so i'm so excited to see this! definitely gave a little shout when i saw the notification and my boyfriend was like wtf? we're definitely going to see all of that! i hope i do justice to certain things you mentioned, like showing harry's character growth well. i have to say i'm so happy you remember elora and jake. i love them too. i know i've said elora is a shameless self-insert but putting her and jake together was honestly not some less-than-clever way of vicariously fulfilling a fantasy of dating jake curran or something. i just really like the idea of them dating because i thought they were so cute! and i ❤️ the support group. they weren't even in my outline but somehow the idea just fell into place and they all just came into being and i love them all and the story would be different without them. thank you so much!

[spenciegoob]

Swing to the Stars

this fic swap is for @reidgraygubler​ ... I really hope you like it, shadow :)

A/N: AAAAH! this is my first fic swap and I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

Summary: Spencer meets someone in his little hiding spot, and desperately hopes to see them again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral!Reader

Category: fluff with a dash of angst

Content Warnings: mentions of Maeve & William Reid, talk of a case involving teens, mentions of bullying, mentions of guns and pepper spray (not used)

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

___

The first time I climbed that treacherous hill, dirtying my converse for all to see what my night activities truly consisted of, I was alone. I enjoyed it like that, I came here by myself, and I intended to keep it that way. When I sat on the swing dangling by two dangerously flimsy ropes, I thought how ridiculously large the slap of wood used to make it was. My elbows were bent a little over a 90 degree angle just to reach both sides, but I never thought past it. I had other things on my mind that night.

I thought about my mom. I knew she would have loved a secluded, little space like this. She would’ve probably read to me here, using different voices that held deep emotion to convey each story with a precise amount of dedication and love. Each story to her was special, and I silently thank her every day for passing that trait down to me. 

Unfortunately, if I thought about my mom, I thought about my dad. William was never a kind man, and I could pride myself on one thing; I would never be like him. He didn’t deserve to know a place like this. It was too serene, too beautiful to house a man so willing to abandon the two people who should’ve been the most important to him. I was glad he would never get the chance to sit on this swing.

I thought about my family. How Garcia would jump with excitement at the prospect of having a picnic overlooking the city, yet quiet and missing the sounds of cars zooming by or overlapping chatter. I thought about JJ, and how Henry would beg her to push him in the swing, because to a little kid, it was perfect. He didn’t look at the frayed rope and fear that it would snap. I hope he never starts to fear the world like that.

The second time I found myself back at the bottom of the hill, I made it halfway to the top before seeing a couple getting up from the swing they were sitting together on. I realized then why it was so comically large; it was meant for two people. Thankfully when I reached the top only half out of breath, the two were starting their descent to where I came from.

This time when I sat down, I thought about Maeve. I would’ve brought her here, shared the little secret corner of the world I built for myself. She would’ve loved something like this, and I know if life wasn’t so cruel, and I was given the chance to show her, we would’ve talked for hours. So that’s what I did that time; I talked to Maeve. To anyone else, I probably looked like a crazy person talking to himself, but much to my delight, not many people made the trip up the hill to find this place.

Now I go whenever I need a break from my mind, which unfortunately is more times than my schedule allows me to take that leisurely walk. I spend my nights sometimes after a particularly hard case there no matter the time, using the ropes that scratch my hands as my lifeline down to Earth. I watch the stars, screaming and cursing at the world in my head and waiting for the sky to respond. It never did, and the next case always came in the following morning.

This particular time that I found myself at the bottom of the grassy hill waiting to be climbed, the case I just returned from involved kids across the board. A teenage unsub was killing his fellow classmates that have wronged him. Unfortunately, the BAU had to witness his stressor recorded for the whole school to see. It involved vile insults being thrown at the young, defenseless boy only for the bullying to escalate to violence.

It was awful.

As I trudged up the hill with less excitement to look into the vast unknown than usual, I couldn’t stop thinking about the unsub. All he wanted in life was a friend, someone to talk to, laugh with, share memories together. No matter how wrong it was, I saw myself in him. Our souls held the same scars given to us by people who had no right to go digging for such a deep part of ourselves. If I didn’t make it, would I have turned out like him?

When I reached the top, completing my journey once again, I saw them. Sitting there, staring out into the sky, mimicking my thoughts to do the same on the jet ride home. I could only make out half their face lit up by the light casting down from the full moon, but I didn’t need to see more to know they were breathtaking.

I would have turned around to return home to nothing more than books reread thousands of times and stale coffee, but I already made the mistake of stepping on a rather large branch that broke in half. The crunch coming from their right immediately had them on edge, and reaching for their bag that I could only assume had some sort of weapon inside. I hope it was legal.

I felt terrible for breaking them from the trance they were in. They were deep in thought about something that was probably going to become a solution if I hadn't interrupted their musing. 

“H-hi, I’m sorry to scare you. I didn’t expect anyone here this late. Not that you being here is a problem! I didn’t mean to disturb you,” I frantically shouted, although there was less distance between us than I originally thought, and probably seemed crazed by my volume level.

They just giggled at first, but upon seeing my distraught expression, their face turned more kind than humorous.

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t jump so fast to pepper spray you. That would definitely be the worst case scenario.” I let out a breath of relief for some reason. Here I was, in front of a total stranger thankful that their weapon of choice wasn’t a gun. I’ve been on the wrong end of too many during my years.

“Did you know Chemical Mace, more commonly known as pepper spray, was invented in the 1960s by a man named Alan Lee Litman and his wife Doris Litman at the time. Their reason was actually because one of Doris’s female coworkers was attacked and robbed, so they thought to create a nonlethal weapon with easy accessibility and use, considering not everyone is able to use a gun. It wasn’t until 1987 however that the Litman’s sold their creation to Smith and Wesson where it was mass produced and later sold to law enforcement.”

“Wow, I don’t think I did.” They laughed again, but something in my heart told me it wasn’t meant to come with malicious intent. “Do you do that a lot?”

“Do what?” I asked, even though I had some inclination of what they were referencing.

“Spout random facts. I’m not complaining, that was very cool, but I am fully intrigued.” They smiled again at me fondly, the kind of smile that left me a little breathless, even more so than the 45 degree incline I had to climb to find myself in front of them. There was nothing to convince me they weren’t authentic in every word they stated.

“I do it quite often, yes. It gets annoying after a while though.” It was true, I was told on many occasions that my rambling got old very fast. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re close to me for too long. I tend to stop being the awe-striking genius, and become the nagging, walking encyclopedia.

“I don’t see how that could become annoying.” It sounded sad coming from them, like I had insulted their oddity. I would never, and I was really hoping to find out what it was.

I had nothing further to say that would express my shock, and slight fondness over their praise, wary of its honesty even if it did come from them. I hadn’t known them for more than 4 minutes and 36 seconds, but it was enough to figure out that they weren’t a liar. It wasn’t from profiling either.

“You know, there is room for two people here if you wanted to join me. I’m sure you didn’t climb that hill for nothing.” They continued for me. If they noticed my surprise, they said nothing about it. 

Usually, I would be skeptical of being in a close proximity with a stranger, but as I approached them carefully, even if their hand was no longer reaching for mace, I felt the passing between our eyes. It was as if we had shared every part of ourselves with eye contact, and as crazy as it sounds, I felt the somber thoughts that lingered from their previous reflections.

So I sat down, grabbing onto only one of the scratchy ropes, and enjoying the way I could rest my elbow against my side now that I was using the swing to its fullest potential. I stopped caring about the probability of the ropes snapping under our combined body weight. The worst that could possibly happen was I bruised my tailbone a little bit, but I wouldn’t care past the initial embarrassment. At least I had someone to show that with.

“Do you ever think about what’s out there?” They asked once I was settled on the wood slab as comfortably as I could muster. Being boney didn’t necessarily help. Before I could answer, they continued. “I can tell you’re a man of science, if the fact dump wasn’t any indicator, but I mean beyond the facts, and the known.”

“No, I don’t think about it.” It was a lie, I think about it every time I’m here, but I wanted nothing more in this moment than to know how they saw the stars.

“I do. Quite frequently, actually. I mean, I’ve read every book there ever was about the stars and space, but there is still no answer to my question.”

“What question?” I had to know.

“What’s exactly written in the stars,” they replied, using their hands to showcase the sky above us. I sat back and thought for a while. Like the books they’ve read, I too didn’t have the response to their question. God, how I wish I did.

I don’t know how long we sat there quietly. One of the perks of total darkness in the dead of night is that the moon couldn’t tell time the way the sun did. We got lost in the cosmos together, contemplating sharing our own troubled thoughts with each other. It would have felt right if we did, but alas, the ringing of my cell phone dropped a pin in our reflections.

“I- I’m sorry, I have to take this,” I rushed out before standing up and accepting the incoming call from Penelope. I knew it was a case before her bubbly voice rang through my celular. I allowed the disappointment to bleed through my tone when I told her I would be back at the BAU shortly, hoping that the small release of the emotion would be enough to ward it off in time to turn back around. 

It didn’t.

They were already looking at me expectantly when I made my way back to the swing, bending down to retrieve my satchel I had abandoned on the ground. The amount of guilt on my face must have been enough to tell them I had to leave abruptly, despite the fact that the only thing I wanted to do was stay for even just a second.

“That’s okay,” they spoke softly, giving me a tight lipped smile. “We’ll see each other again.”

“How do you know?” I couldn’t help but be skeptical. Life never did work out in my favor. They looked up at the sky once more before answering.

“Just a feeling.” I let a full grin break out at their response, the first one I’ve had when visiting this place. I turned around to start my journey back to the office where dark, and twisted things lurked behind manilla folders. Before starting my descent however, I spun around quickly, almost losing my footing and taking a tumble.

“Woah there tiger, don’t hurt yourself,” they giggled at me, one that I returned with my own breathy laugh.

“I just don’t know your name.” It baffled me a little bit that I hadn’t thought to ask before this, but they just gave me one last smile, tilting their head in faux contemplation.

“Ask me next time.” I will.

***

It’s been a year since I met them, and I haven’t seen them since. Not for a lack of trying however. After that case, I went there every night until a new one arose, this time taking me to Oregon. They hadn’t been back, and part of me wondered if it was because of me. Did I not try hard enough the first time? Should I have ignored my ringer until my phone had 5 missed calls from Penelope?

But then my eidetic memory swooped in to save me from going down that road, one of the only times it wasn’t the cause of my self destructive thoughts. Because while I replayed the conversation over in my head wondering where it went wrong, I remembered their eyes, and their smile.

I remembered what it felt like to sit with them, and thankfully that was enough to convince myself our meeting wasn’t in vain.

I never was the kind of man to believe in the universe. The whole notion that “everything happens for a reason,” felt like a lie created to somehow blame an external force on the chaos in one’s life. There were so many things in my life that had no reason for happening, and to blame that on anything or anyone but myself would be a cheap excuse of a way out.

But for some odd reason, the universe aside, I believed in them, and strangely enough, I don’t think they would have blamed me for the life I had to live. So, as I sit down tonight on this familiar piece of wood, I choose to stare at the stars instead of the ground, and believe that if I spoke aloud, maybe they would hear me.

And they did, because my efforts to sit on one side of the swing in case they returned to me were not in vain. I didn’t look over, I didn’t have to to know it was them. I had already relaxed once their presence was known in my peripherals.

“Y/N,” they spoke, causing me to change my view on the stars to their side profile. It wasn’t all that different than staring at the constellations spread around us. “My name’s Y/N.”

___

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[jamilelucato]

Hii! Congratulations on 1.5K that's absolutely amazing 💚 can I request a Remus Lupin x Slytherin!reader + soulmate AU? I think enemies to lovers would be the way to go for this and just a lot of fluff? I'll leave the rest to you! Thank you!!

Sun and Moon [R.L.]

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Slytherin!reader

A/N: thank you! Loved your request and I hope you like it as well! Again, I simply can’t write short things, so this might be a bit too big. Anyways, here it is!

Send a request! ||  Harry Potter Masterlist ||  Musical Hogwarts Series

“He’s crying,” you said, before turning your head to face the bed and putting the pillow over your head, “again.”

Your friend groans loudly enough for you to hear. She’s pretending to be angry, but truth be told, she’s already used to waking up in the middle of the night to you crying. 

“You know, I’m kinda anxious to meet your big cry baby,” she comments, laughing out her discomfort of waking up early.

“Puff,” you let out. You’d be rolling your eyes if you could stop the tears from falling. Whoever your soulmate was, he was feeling incredible pain, because all you could feel was sadness.

It started when you were fourteen — the first time you felt the exact feeling your soulmate was feeling. Just as this night, he was sad. It seemed you got blessed with a depressed person. It bothered you, not because you disliked it, but because you wanted desperately to change it. You wanted your soulmate to be happy, of course, you did.

Sometimes, they were happy. You would start laughing in the middle of classes — Professor McGonagal was never pleased with that — or you would feel a strong feeling of peace as if someone your soulmate was very fond of was hugging them.

That time, when you felt like being hugged, made you wonder if your soulmate could perhaps already have a girlfriend. But that was just your jealousy taking the best of you, and as quickly as the feeling of peace came, it went away. Perhaps your soulmate noticed you were jealous — your sentiment must’ve been pretty strong to pass over to them.

Thankfully, your friends at Hogwarts got used to your mood swings because they were experiencing it themselves. After every friend of yours turned fourteen, they started to feel their soulmate feelings as well, and you all just became a group of teens trying to find who was the soulmate to who.

Somehow, you managed to go back to sleep, but it was not enough. You woke up feeling tired as ever. He probably didn’t sleep, you thought before leaving your dorm.

Classes started boring as ever. Not even Emily’s jokes were enough to keep you with a pleasant face. When it was time for lunch, you wished to find something delicious on the menu, because it was your last hope to get a happy face.

Emily helped you serving. Even though the food was well-prepared, nothing was your favourite. You ate with no excitement, just regretting having still more classes to get through.

“Here they come,” whispered Emily, already presuming your reaction.

Entering the Great Hall, James, Sirius, Peter and Remus laughed with each other, as if retelling something they had just done. You held yourself back, trying very hard not to roll your eyes. They were stupid jerks from Gryffindors, and if you had any of those, they were your mortal enemies.

James was messing with his hair when he sat down at their table, while Sirius looked around with a smirk, unknotting his tie. Peter gaped at James as a child would look a parent, but it was Remus that got your gaze.

He always looked outcasted, even amongst his best friends. He was the only one of the four with a book in hands, and he didn’t have a smile on.

“They came in as if they own the place,” you commented between bites.

“James or Sirius could,” said Emily.

You looked at your friend before laughing.

“The Blacks could, but definitely not Sirius,” you corrected her, smiling lightly.

“Hey! You’re smiling!” Emily was excited to see you like that after a whole morning of your frowned face.

You shrugged, laughing again. It was nice to know that Emily cared about you enough to skip her daily remarks of how stupid it is to you hate the Gryffindors.

From across the Hall, Remus started feeling a bit better, but you left before noticing his growing smile.

***

“Today, I’ll be pairing you all up in two,” announced Professor Slughorn just after the last student walked in. “Let me see...” he reached for a piece of paper where he had already written his perfect duos. 

“Evans and Potter,” James friends started to chuckle while the boy blushed and you thought that was the first time you saw him doing so. Lily didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic, though.

“Snape and Black,” continued Slughorn.

“YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!” shouted an angry Sirius Black. All the happiness he was feeling in consideration of his friend James was gone. “Slughorn, come on!”

Severus was sitting next to you, and he didn’t seem excited about his new partner either. Severus liked being your partner — you were good at Potions, but not better than him, and that was all he could ask.

“Shut your mouth, blood traitor,” moaned Severus, just loud enough to you and Sirius to hear.

You didn’t like the term, but you knew better than anyone to not mess with Snape.

“Slughorn, did you hear what he called me?” shouted Sirius, but the Professor ignored and kept calling the names on his list.

Severus had no choice but to get up and sit next to Sirius.

“Lupin and y/L/N,” called Slughorn and you got your attention back at the list. So he wants every Slytherin with a Gryffindor now, only just not his perfect Lily. It made sense.

Remus looked at you and pressed his lips, as if afraid to say something. He got his books and walked towards you, since Severus place as now empty for his use.

“Hi,” he said, ducking himself.

You never thought you had seen a shy Gryffindor, but Remus Lupin was shivering at your presence. Good, you thought, and the smile scaped your lips before you could stop it.

Remus kept staring at you, confused about having being received with a smile.

After announcing all the pairs, Slughorn walked around assigning a single paper that had a potion instruction on it.

“I hope you get it correctly until the end of class,” he said and let the duos free to work.

You stared at the piece of paper and read: Amortentia.

“I’ll get the ingredients,” you said, already getting up. You didn‘t want to leave room for Remus to protest.

You gathered them all and got back to your seat. Remus was the one who started adding the ingredients. You were glad to see he was smart enough to follow the instructions. Sure it didn’t seem like his best friends were doing the same — Severus was arguing with Sirius non-stop, and Lily didn’t seem to happy with James playing with every single component.

Your job was to stir the cauldron while Remus added the ingredients. After a few exchanges of suspicious looks and a few bumps of hands, Remus reread the instructions and concluded that the potion was ready.

“Sniff it — see if it’s good,” asked Remus, looking at you.

You frowned, uncertain if you should be the one to sniff it but agreed to do it anyway. But the regret was immediate. The horrible smell coming from the cauldron made you lean away instantly, and even Remus resembled disgusted with it, which was weird because he was too far from it to have taken a good sniff of the horrible thing.

“I think it’s not ready,” you said, after useless cleaning your nose in your robe. Dreadful attitude for a lady, your mom would have said, but she would do the same if she had smelled the thing.

“Agreed,” muttered Remus who quickly offered you the recipe of the potion so you could take a look at what might have gone wrong.

It took you a while, but you finally saw the mistake.

“Oh, here, Remus,” you said, leaning closer to him so he could read it with you, “we forgot the powdered moonstone.”

Remus almost choked. You stared at his eyes, making sure he was okay.

“Breathed the thing again,” he explained, but it didn’t convince you.

You got the moonstone yourself and tossed it inside the cauldron who immediately started smelling better.

“Now you should sniff it,” you said, shivering just of remembering the horrible smell the potion had a couple of minutes ago.

Remus leaned in, inhaling the potion, uncertain. He kept quiet.

“So?”

He looked back at you. “Might be correct.”

“What do you smell?” you asked, letting your curiosity take the best of you. 

“It’s gonna sound weird, but the smell reminds me of the sun,” he said, taking a deep breath from the thing. “It’s nice.”

Soon as he breathed again, a wave of comfort hit you. It definitely didn’t come from you — what was the satisfaction of doing school assignments with a Gryffindor? — but it hit you strong as if it had.

“Let me sniff it,” you requested, and Remus leaned back, resentful. He enjoyed the smell of the potion.

You took a sniff in and felt the same comfort from seconds ago. Weirdly enough, the scent was the total opposite of what Remus claimed — it felt as if you were smelling the moon. And some type of fur animal.  

You stared back at Remus who blushed immediately when your eyes met.

“What?” he asked, bothered.

You gulped. “Nothing,” you lied. It was far from nothing. That dog smell, more of a big, large dog... it reminded you of the perfume that the boy sitting next to you was using.

You shrugged, trying to free yourself of such speculation. 

Professor Slughorn stopped next to you and requested a sample of the potion. Remus did it for you, and he even labelled it. Slughorn waited and took it directly from Remus, sniffing it himself.

“You two got it wrong the first time, huh?”

You agree with a movement of your head.

“See the colour? It’s how I noticed. You probably inverted the order of powdered moonstone, am I correct?” asked the Professor.

“That’s what happened,” admitted Remus.

“Well, only 5 points for Gryffindor and Slytherin, then.”

“It’s more than enough, Professor,” you stated, glad that your potion got you at least some points.

Remus started gathering his things, and you did the same, noticing there was nothing left to do but leave.

“See you around, Remus,” you said, attempting to sound like you didn’t care before walking away from that place.

***

It was a good hot day at Hogwarts, and since those were unusually rare, you and Emily decided to enjoy the Saturday in a picnic close to the Lake.

You were letting the sun paint you gold, taking advantage of the fact that it was already three in the afternoon, and you didn’t feel any manifestation of your soulmate’s feelings.

Emily was reading a Muggle book about cars, an otherworld object that she was fascinated by. You didn’t care much about these things — they just weren’t part of your life; therefore, they weren’t needed.

The food, stolen from the kitchen, was delicious with the sun keeping it warm.

“Any plans for today?” Emily asked after a while.

“Such as...?” your eyes needed a few seconds to adapt from staring away from the sun.

“Don’t know... Parties at Hufflepuff?”

You tilted your head, thinking of anything. Then you snorted when you remembered where today’s party was.

“Today’s in Gryffindor,” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

Emily chuckled at your reaction. She dropped her book over the tablecloth you had laid in the grass and reached for you, suddenly tickling you.

“What are you— STOP IT!” you cried between laughs. 

“Only when you say we’re going to the party!”

You struggled a little more, before giving in.

“Fine! We’re going!”

“Yes!” celebrated Emily with a weird dance, getting up from the spot.

***

It was during the feast that something weird happened. Emily started feeling sad, like incredibly bad.

“Em, what’s wrong? What’s happening?” you reached her hands, afraid to touch her crying face.

“It’s my soulmate. They’re sad. Something bad happened,” she said, getting up from the Slytherin table and walking around.

“Where’re you going?” you asked her, getting up too.

“Where’s Cindy?” she asked, wondering the Hufflepuff table with her eyes. “I think it’s Cindy. Where’s she?”

You stared at your best friend. You had no idea she was that close to finding her soulmate. You didn’t know she already had a guess; she never mentioned before.

She mentioned Cindy, of course. All the time. The sweetest little girl from Hufflepuff who had a heart somehow bigger than her heart.

Oh, you gulped, should have guessed.

A boy from Hufflepuff — probably Cindy’s twin, they looked very much alike — walked in and grabbed Emily’s hand from yours.

“Come, it’s her cat. It’s dying,” the boy stated. 

Emily looked from you to the door of the Great Hall.

“Go, she needs you, I can see that,” you whispered, cleaning the last tear in Emily’s face and you watched the boy walk your best friend away, leaving you alone in the middle of the feast.

Faces stared at you, up in the middle of the tables, before you noticed the embarrassment and sat back at Slytherin’s.

***

You weren’t planning on going to the party anymore, but staying in your dorm all alone was pretty tedious. All the other girl had found their soulmates months ago, and it was only you and Emily left.

Well, just you now.

You sighed, deciding to have some fun at the expenses of the Gryffindors. Perhaps your soulmate wouldn’t be found that night, but a cute boy could be in a corner waiting to kiss you. Who knew?

The handmade golden dress you picked looked astonishing on you. Certain it was the one, you headed to the party.

***

“Wow, look at the bold Slytherin walking in,” James whispered to Sirius, but the other two marauders were able to hear with no problem.

Sirius laughed. He thought you wouldn’t have the balls.

“She doesn’t look that bad, tonight,” agreed Sirius, noticing immediately that the alcohol was already affecting him.

Peter and James laughed at Sirius comment, but Remus was too focused on you to say a thing. He had noticed, two weeks ago, in the middle of the Potions class that you scented like his Amortentia, but he was trying to ignore that.

It was kinda hard right now with you dressed like the walking sun.

A hot walking sun.

“What is it? You‘re quiet,” Sirius observed, nudging Remus.

“He’s always quiet,” said Peter, with a sympathizing smile to Remus. He knew sometimes Remus didn’t like the attention.

“Not like this,” disagreed Sirius, “is it the soulmate?”

Remus nodded. He didn’t know if it was better to lie or speak the truth. Maybe lie was best. If Sirius knew Remus was thinking his soulmate was a Slytherin...

“Those things are hard, my dude,” intruded James, serving everyone with a cup. “Yesterday I was laughing hard as I could in my bed just because Marlene told a joke.”

“Marlene? She wasn’t with us,” stated Peter, suddenly confused.

Sirius chuckled, slapping the back of James.

“She was telling a joke to Lily, Wormtail,” explained James and all of the boys laughed, except Peter who was gasping of comprehension.

“Alright. Who’s with me to prank y/N?” asked Sirius, smirking.

Remus frowned. “What are you gonna do?”

“Harmless stuff,” shrugged Sirius. “Hey, Prongs, still have some Veritaserum left?”

“Yep,” James showed the flask hidden in his pocket. He had it because he stole from the Professor Slughorn classes — James knew he held the best because it was Lily who prepared.

“Then let’s go,” Sirius said.

“Wait, what are you—”

“Moony, Moony... No time for your moral compass, okay?” James nudged Remus and the four boys headed to the drinks section, hoping to get a cup for you with a special liquid in.

***

It was weird not having Emily around, but it wasn’t hard to fit in. You weren’t the only Slytherin there, and, even though you avoided all of them on daily bases, you had no problem talking to some Gryffindors.

As long as they weren’t James and his friends, you were okay.

Peter invited you to a truth or dare game with the boys and Lily and Marlene. Although you were tempted to say no, Marlene and Lily had been your company for the night, and without them, you’d be alone, so you said yes.

You sat in the red couch, with Lily in your left and Remus in your right. The others got themselves some types of stools.

“Let’s start with you, Slytherin,” Sirius said, handing you a cup of alcohol.

“Is this my dare?” you ask.

“No — it’s a game-starter. You know, to make yourself susceptible to a challenge or to speak the truth,” you took the cup and analyzed it for a couple o seconds, but they all stared at you expectingly. You decided to drink it. The guys wouldn’t try anything with Marlene and Lily there, having your back.

You decided, however, to accept the challenge exceptionally: you drank it all at once. Sirius and James smirked, exchanging looks. Peter was congratulating you, and you smiled back at him. Remus gulped nervously next to you.

“Okay, I take the truth,” you decided it was easier than accepting a dare that would come from the most famous tricksters of Hogwarts.

Sirius leaned in.

“Is it true that you haven’t found your soulmate yet?” James asked before Sirius, who seemed extremely angry with his best friends attitude.

“Hey, dude!” Sirius said.

James reply came in a whisper that you weren’t able to hear: “We need to see if it’s working before showing the big guns.”

You swallowed about to answer. “I might have found him.”

Everybody stared at you, including Remus. That was not the answer you wanted to give! Might have found? You have no idea who can it be!

Although you felt like your answer could raise questions, nobody took too much time pondering over it. It was very natural to have suspicions already. You all were seventeen — James presumed his soulmate was Lily; Marlene suspected hers was Sirius. 

They understood what you meant with “might”.

“Okay, now, why do you hate—”

“Hey! One question at a time!” you shouted, interrupting Sirius question.

Sirius sighed, but he knew you were right.

“I’ll go,” said Lily. “I take the dare.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “It’s like you ask for it, Evans.”

“What?” she was genuinely confused.

“Kiss James,” sighed Sirius, not even excited to see his best friend get a kiss.

“But...”

“You heard me, Evans.” Sirius was rushing everyone to doing their dares or truths so he could get back to you; he had no idea how long he had left with the potion.

Lily quickly kissed James, hurrying to get over with it as well. Marlene screamed, and even Remus whistled.

Everybody did something in the order of the place they were sitting, and there was only one person left before it was you again.

“Remus, what do you pick?” asked Peter.

“Truth,” said Remus without second thoughts.

“Is it true your friends are Animagus?” you asked. You didn’t know if it was your time to ask questions, but since you hadn’t gone yet, you used the opportunity.

All of the marauders exchanged looks and held in laughs. They knew Remus would lie for them. Sirius just wondered how you came to that question.

“Yes,” replied Remus. His gaping jaw and wide eyes proved that he didn’t mean to say that. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the first to understand what was happening.

Sirius was too occupied being angry at Remus, and Peter was still shocked he spilt the beans. 

It was James who understood what Remus speaking the truth to the enemy meant. It meant that, somehow, the Veritaserum did not only affect you but also your soulmate.

And just it happens that your soulmate was Remus J. Lupin.

How was James the sane one f he had just gotten a kiss from the woman he loved? No idea, but it was what happened.

Sirius sighed, noticing there was no point in arguing with Remus because he seemed oblivious to what he had just done and what it meant. So Sirius decided to ask y/N once again since it was her turn.

“Truth or dare, honey? Guess you’re going with truth, right?” Sirius didn‘t even give you enough time, and he was going to ask something to mess with you, but James interrupted.

“Okay, this is over,” he said.

“Prongs, what?” Sirius couldn’t believe his friends that night.

“It’s over, I don’t wanna play anymore,” said James, getting up.

“James, don’t be upset with Remus for saying we’re Animagus. I won’t use this information to anything. I’m not that mean, you know,” you said. James knew you were speaking the truth — after all, you couldn’t lie — but he had to stay pissed.

“Whatever, this game’s boring anyway,” James said before walking away. Sirius walked behind, angry that his best friend ruined what could’ve been the best prank ever and Peter followed.

It was only you, Lily and Remus, with Marlene who was sitting in the couch’s arm.

“That was weird,” said Lily.

“It was better this way, believe me,” said Remus, who laid eyes on you.

You bit your lip, concerned with the attention.

It was not a complaint: Remus’ attention was always welcome. 

Some things were making sense as the two of you faced each other.

First, your hatred wasn’t with Remus. He didn’t throw eggs at Slytherin Quidditch team fans, he didn’t cast spells by changing the colours of all your friends’ clothes. Of course, he was consistent, but he always stayed in the background, without laughing, staring at his feet as if he wanted to disappear.

Second, you and Remus seemed to be together almost always if you look closely. Every end of parties, there you were sitting in a corner, watching your drunk friends and thinking you’d have to take care of them. Not to mention the school assignments, in which it seemed that every Professor already knew the obvious: you two work well together.

Third, something in your mind kept repeating that it was the smell of him that your Amortentia overflowed two weeks ago.

And he seemed to be concluding the same things because he was gazing at you with the same obsession that you were looking at him.

“Are you two okay?” Marlene asked suddenly, bringing you back to reality.

“Marlene!” Lily reprehended her best friend, nudging her off of the couch’s arm.

“I gotta go,” you said, getting up in a quick move and walking away as fast as you could without losing class.

Lily stared at Remus, angry.

“What did you do?”

***

James awaited Remus in their dorm. He was worried about his friend, and if that was some kind of intervention James had no idea, but it needed to be done.

The party had died downstairs — the only remains were couples.

Sirius was walking around the room, confused. James had told him what he knew, but Sirius just couldn’t believe it. Remus and a filth Slytherin? What was Remus’ future with that girl? She sure would hate him for being a werewolf.

“Gezz, were you waiting for me?” Remus asked, walking in.

Peter was still downstairs — that was what took Remus so long to go back to bed; he was worried about Wormtail.

“Moony, do you know y/N’s your soulmate?”

Somehow, Remus knew it wasn’t worth denying it. He wasn’t sure — hell, he could never be sure — but everything pointed that to be true.

“Can I ask how you guys...”

“You spoke the real truth on the game today. And that was our biggest secret,” James pointed out.

“The Veritaserum was for y/N, but you stole the show, of course,” said Sirius finally sitting down. “How could you fall for her, Remus?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, sitting down in the middle of the boys. “I am not even sure she’s the one. But that day, in Slughorn’s class... We were brewing Amortentia, you know...”

“Dear God,” groaned Sirius.

Remus ignored his friends and continued. “It smelt like the sun, okay. And I have no idea what smell the sun has— don’t ask me— but tonight... When she walked in that golden dress, I knew that, if anything, she was the sun.”

James looked at Remus like he knew what he meant. Sirius sighed, defeated. He wanted his friends to remain single with him, but now they were both hooked. Peter was worth absolutely nothing at this point because he was in love with a short girl from Ravenclaw too, even though the girl already had a soulmate — and Peter was not it.

“She’s the one, huh,” commented Sirius.

“She’s the one,” agreed Remus, glad that his friends weren‘t making a scene about she being a Slytherin.

***

“Remus, can I talk to you for a second?”

When you called Remus after Potions class one week after the Gryffindor party, you totally got Remus by surprise because for one: he was not expecting it; two: he had been ignoring you; three: he thought he was being efficient at ignoring you.

He gulped and followed you to a dark corner of the corridor. He tossed his bag over his shoulder, trying extra hard to copy Sirius relaxed face when he talked to girls but he was failing at it.

There was a reason why he was avoiding you — more than just teenager angst, that week was the full moon. And well, he didn’t want you around to see that.

But you noticed something was off about him.

First, because of the whole soulmate thing, you hadn’t slept in days. Always waking up to a crushing pain and a feeling of loneliness so powerful; you felt that if your soulmate wasn’t dying, you sure were about to.

And then, every morning, entering the Hall to notice that, although all the marauders had a face of someone who hasn’t slept, Remus was the only one with fresh scars.

It took you just one book to know you were dealing with a werewolf.

Remus was not just your soulmate, but also a werewolf. Dear Merlin, you groaned when you found out. 

Then, the Amortentia made much more sense. Why the smell of an animal, why the scent of the moon (if there was no way you could know how moon smelled like).

Emily was no help to be honest, because every free time she had, she was spending it with Cindy. And who were you to blame her? If only was that easy to be around Remus...

“I know your secret,” you said.

Remus clenched his jaw. She is going to say she hates me, he thought.

“And I want to help. I know the boys became Animagus for you and I’d like to do the same,” you continued.

Remus tilted his head in confusion. That was not what he was expecting.

“Y/N, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t deny you are a werewolf,” you said, muttering the last word.

“I’m not — I’m just saying I don’t need you putting yourself in danger. I already have the boys,” he looked away from your eyes.

“Bullocks, you’re not gonna have them forever, you’re graduating soon!” you shouted, angry at him for being such a nice cute boy.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

You rolled your eyes. “Please, Remus.”

“You won‘t be put in danger for me, no way.” He had a firm decision about that one.

“Can learn on my own, you know,” you simply said, walking away from me. It didn’t matter Remus’ opinion; you were warning him, not asking permission.

“Fine!” he finally agreed after speeding to get to you.

***

You weren’t able to help Remus Lupin right away. You weren’t known to be the most patient person, but for that task, somehow you managed the whole month with the holding the leaf of mandrake in your mouth. 

“When are you two gonna talk about it?” asked Emily during the feast.

“Tomorrow night there’s a storm coming, so...”

“No, not about the Animagi thing — about the soulmate thing,” explained Emily, but you shrugged.

Both you and Remus knew at this point that you were soulmates, but neither of you wanted to do something about it. You convinced yourself that everything would be magically fixed after you became Animagus, so you were waiting for it.

When the lightning storm finally came, you and the four marauders met at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Your anxiety was taking the best of you, but it wasn’t just because what it would mean with Remus — you were also excited to see what animal would you become.

“Who’s got the potion?” James asked when Sirius walked in — he was the last one. 

James proved to be quite friendly during this period that you spent more time with the marauders. Sirius was the one that didn’t dare to even face you.

“I’ve got it,” said Remus, giving you the flask. “Wanted to make sure it was well-prepared.”

“Well, here I go,” you waited for lightning to strike and when it did, you drank the thing. It tasted horrible. “Now what?”

“You close your eyes,” said Sirius, deciding to help. “And wish to turn. There’s really no secret to it.”

You sighed. It was time.

***

Remus watched with attention when you closed your eyes, and he noticed every little detail of your body changing to a four-legged figure.

Orange.

It was the first colour he noticed, and he chuckled because he could not believe that, of all the animals you could turn to be, you became one that had such sunny colour.

An orange fox.

A much cute orange fox.

Everyone was staring at you — if an animal could blush, that was it.

“A fox, of course,” sighed Sirius, pointing at you. “Suits her Slytherin-self.”

James hit Sirius in the head, “she’s a canine, you idiot.”

“So?”

“Wolves are canine too,” pointed out James, and he and Sirius turned from you to look at Remus, who flushed, ducking.

“That’s enough, y/N,” Remus said to you.

The fox made a sound, a mix of a cry and a groan, like a dog complaining.

“It’s the same process you used to turn,” said Sirius, imagining you were lamenting you didn’t know how to get back to normal.

The fox cried again.

“Do you think...”

“She’ll manage,” Remus interrupted James and James immediately understood what his friend wanted.

“Let’s go, Peter,” called James, heading to the stairs. “You too, Sirius.”

It took you a while, but you finally were able to reverse to you human-self.

“That was something,” you said, enjoying to have your voice again. You noticed the boys left you and Remus alone, but you decided it was best not to mention.

Remus stared at you.

“You were a beautiful fox,” he said.

“Thanks,” you weren’t sure if that was the proper reaction. “So..”

“I’ll go first,” Remus sighed.  “It is really nice of you to become an Animagus for me,” he continued quickly, stopping you from interrupting, “don’t worry, we both know why you did this.”

You looked away from his eyes — it was almost unbearable. You weren’t sure if the shame was yours or his; perhaps a mix of both.

“I figured you are my soulmate that night at Gryffindor’s party,” Remus continued, speaking softly. You both stepped closer to the border of the Tower, stargazing. “Remember what I said about the sun that day in Potions?”

You facepalmed before chuckling.

“Merlin, I was a walking sun that night,” you said.

Remus smiled. It was the same thing he thought.

“And then, I was scared because... well, I’m a werewolf, I thought you wouldn’t accept me.”

“Remus!” you exclaimed, turning to face him and seeing a sad expression. “I could never! And will never!”

“I know it can be a burden,” he groaned.

“You are not a burden, Remus,” you said, softly touching his shoulder. “In fact, I’m glad my soulmate is you. I couldn’t have asked for a better gentleman.”

He blushed, but thankfully you couldn’t see it because of the bad lighting.

“When you came to me, wanting to be an Animagus, that’s when I knew you knew,” he continued his speech from where he had stopped. “You said those things about how my friends weren’t gonna be always around after graduation and I wondered what you meant... It took me a couple of seconds to see you suggested you could be always there for me because...”

“Because I’m your soulmate. And be prepared, I’ll stick around, even if Sirius doesn’t like it,” you said, with a small smile.

You two giggled and Remus noticed that your hand was still in his shoulder. Your touch was warm, just like the sun. Not a surprise, he thought to himself.

“You know, I should’ve realized sooner. And for that, I’m sorry,” you continued saying, turning your whole body in his direction, not just your face. “The amount of pain you have been feeling; all those nights crying... I wish I could have done something before.”

“You can do it now.”

His eyes sparkled just for a second, illuminated by the stars. You waited, silently for his request — because, all this month closer to Remus made you realize he was the type of boy who would ask.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your head was shaking positively, but even Remus didn’t take long analyzing it. He grabbed your waist softly as if he was scared that you would melt with his touch — and you felt like you did.

His lips encountered yours like an explosion of fireworks — sure as hell should have been fireworks, so long it took for this to happen. It was you who took the initiative to deepen the kiss. 

You hand went from his shoulders to his hair, but he, gentleman as always, kept his hands in your waist. Sometimes, when you bit his lip, he would pull you even closer, and his hands would wander just a little bit further. Learning that response of his instincts, you provoked him a dozen times before he finally understood you wanted the kiss to really deepen.

He leaned in a wall, finally grabbing your ass with one hand and pulling your hair with another. Good Lord, he definitely knew what he was doing. His hands never stopped in just one spot — he wandered your whole body.

You were sure there would be found marks all over your neck and shoulders in the morning, but you sure weren’t caring. In fact, you made sure some marks would be found in him as well.

“We really should go,” he whispered, his phrase taking its moment to finish, so much out of breath was he.

You smirked in the dark.

“When I said you were too much of a gentleman, I really hoped not in this case,” you said.

He kissed you just one last time that night.

“I’m a romantic, darling,” Remus said, smirking.

You rolled your eyes, pulling your clothes back in place while he did the same.

Before stepping in the stairs, he grabbed you one last time to whisper something in your ear — his voice sending chills all over your body.

“I will finish this, I promise, but I rather do it with the sunlight kissing every single part of your beautiful body so I can remember it forever, y/N,” he whispered and then he stepped away as if he hadn’t just said the sexiest thing a man had ever said to you.

“Remus John Lupin!” you cried out, rushing down the steps to get to him.

There was no way to be sure, but something told you that all the joy you were feeling wasn’t just yours — it was Remus’ too. And knowing that he was finally happy, happy as ever before, was all you ever needed.

You were fine being his sun, as long as he was your moon.

You two would manage. You would find a way to keep that man smiling and laughing, even if it meant full moon nights and dinners with Sirius.

Because you loved him. And that was enough.

[hxlyhead-harpies]

The Last Dream of My Soul part 1. (R.L.)

hello everyone! This is the first part of the Remus Lupin series that i’m starting and i am soooo excited. i am still new at this so any feedback is appreciated!! i hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The very bookish (Y/n) has spent most of her life alone, aside from her best friends Lily and her beloved books. But when the infamous Marauders get thrust into her life, how could she resist the beautiful and unattainable Remus.

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 3.1k

The yellowing and rough pages of old books had always felt like home to you. The smell of the aging parchment and the worn and weathered covers had always offered you more comfort than any real person ever had. On a bad day, you’d be able to curl up in your bed, lulled to sleep by your favorite characters, and adventures more exciting than your own life. As the years pushed forward this was how your life was. You didn’t have many friends but that was okay because you had your books. Who needed a best friend when you could spend your afternoons in Narnia with the Pevensie siblings or tumble through rabbit holes with Alice? For the early years of your childhood, you were content with the reality that you wished you could be in any world than your own. Your boring, magicless, and unmysterious world.

But that all changed the year you turned eleven. You remember the day as if it were yesterday. You were laying on your bed, your legs tangled in the quilt your mother had made. A Nancy Drew book sat in front of you, the plot of which now escapes you but at this point, you had already solved the mystery yourself. It was a perfect summer afternoon. The sun was out and you could hear the other neighborhood kids shouting from outside your window. They never invited you out to play but you were okay with that; you had far more exciting things to read. You were turning a page, nearly halfway through the book, when you heard tapping from your window. Your head shot up- your reading induced trance was now broken- only to be met with the sight of a snowy owl. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. You had never seen that type of bird around here. And you had certainly never seen one clutching a letter between its talons. You carefully marked your page in your book and quickly hopped out of bed. You made your way to the window and attempted to open it, a task that proved difficult for your small eleven-year-old body. After a few moments of a struggle, you finally pried it open. The owl dropped the letter inside your room and flew off. You bent down to pick up the parchment from the floor to see that the letter was addressed to you, and was from someplace called Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that moment on your world had been flipped upsidedown, at least in the sense that everything now had to change. But to you, if anything, the world had finally been made right. Magic was real- and you had the pleasure of possessing it. It was like some part of you had always known that magic existed beyond the pages of your favorite books. It was as if everything finally made sense.

You dragged your family down the streets of Diagon Alley, absorbing every bit of magic culture that you could. You reveled in the lights and the feeling of warmth that coursed through your veins when you finally picked up the right wand at Ollivanders. You squealed with delight when your parents purchased you an owl and you nearly died of excitement when you realized that pictures plastered on posters in the alleys moved. And when you ran through the seemingly solid barrier at Kingscross station you thought you would pass out from the thrill. And when you got on the train you curled up by yourself in a compartment, hurriedly reading through your History of Magic textbook, attempting to soak up every bit of knowledge that you could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During your first year at Hogwarts, you came to the slow realization that you might actually need friends. Now that you knew that magic was real you wanted to experience as much of it as you could, and it felt rather lonely to experience it all on your own. The characters in your books had always had sidekicks and best friends on their grand adventures, and being accepted into Hogwarts marked the beginning of yours. Now you just needed someone to share it with. Luckily, the pretty girl with brilliant green eyes and glowing red hair that shared your dorm had the same idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

By your fourth year, you and Lily Evans were attached at the hip. You spent nearly all your time together, inside and outside of class, and told each other absolutely everything. She knew everything about you, every detail and every secret, and you knew the same about her. Sure you had other friends, Marlene and Alice were nice and you hung around them quite often, but it was nothing like your relationship with Lily. She was the Elizabeth Bennet to your Charlotte Collins. Nobody understood you as she did, and you didn’t think you’d ever find anyone else who did.

But despite your closeness, you always felt a tinge of jealousy towards her. She was everything you weren’t: she was strong and outgoing, she felt no fear when talking to strangers, and it seemed that everyone instantly took a liking to her. Everyone loved her. She had flocks of friends, granted she wasn’t as close to any of them as she was to you, but it occasionally made you feel unimportant. It also seemed as if half of the year was in love with her. James Potter was evidence of that, constantly making a fool of himself to impress her. Lily always scoffed at him, not finding any of his antics even slightly attractive. And out loud you agreed with her that he was just a silly boy, but deep down you wished someone would give you at least a fraction of the attention that he gave her. But that was how it always went. Lily was the type of girl that boys would fall in love with. You, on the other hand, her quiet and shy sidekick, went largely unnoticed. But everything was fine. Because in moments when you felt lonely or inadequate you could turn to your books just as you did when you were young. Fingers tracing over the words of Mr. Darcy’s declaration of love or Romeo and Juliet’s final moments. And at the time, it was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was your seventh year when things really started to change. After years of begging, Lily finally said yes to James. You were happy for her of course, she seemed to really like him. And he obviously really liked her. The way that James looked at her could only be described in the words of your favorite novels. But with her new relationship came uncharted territory: Lily now sat with him at most meals, though every few breakfasts she’d make a point to sit with you, and the spot you usually occupied next to her in the common room was now occupied by James. And the worst part was that you were now alone on Hogsmeade weekends, a time that was usually reserved for you and Lily to walk arm and arm around the small village. But despite all of this you couldn’t be mad at her. You saw how happy she was- and her happiness made you happy as well. But you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous that she got to feel an emotion that you yearned to feel with your entire being. Love.

“(Y/n) come on!” Lily exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. You groaned, looking up at her from the book in front of you. You were currently rereading A Tale of Two Cities, a favorite of yours that was littered with dogeared pages and underlined phrases. You made eye contact with your best friends, noticing the frustration in her eyes.

“Can you please just come eat breakfast with us?” she asked, rubbing her temple with her fingertips.

“Lils you know I want to eat breakfast with you but I don’t want to interrupt your time with James,” you replied, starting to look back down at your book.

“You’re not interrupting anything! All of his friends sit with us too!” she said desperately. When you didn’t respond to her exclamation she reached down and snatched the book from your hands.

“Lily!” you cried, sitting up and attempting to steal back your book.

“No (Y/n) I’m not giving this back until you come eat with me! I feel like I never see you anymore,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re always with James,” you responded while making another sad attempt to reclaim your novel. Lily’s face fell.

“Do you think I’m spending too much time with him? I swear I don’t mean to ignore you, I’ll stop eating meals with him and we can go to Hogsm-” she rambled, practically shoving the old book back into your hands.

“No Lily!” you shouted, cutting her off. “You’re not spending to much time with him! It seems like a perfectly acceptable time to spend around your boyfriend. I just miss you that’s all,” you said quietly. Lily’s face softened.

“Then come eat breakfast with me. I want you to get to know James better. You two are my favorite people I want you to get along,” she once again urged.

“Lily I’m not sure… I don’t really know anyone else there and you don’t have to worry I already like James plenty,” you replied.

“Just come, please! I promise that you’ll like his friends!” she practically begged. You sighed in defeat, finally giving in.

“Fine Lily,” you grumbled, standing up to gather your things.

“Yay!” Lily exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“But, I can only promise today. If his friends suck I won’t come back,” you exclaimed sternly. Lily nodded solemnly.

“Understood.”

The two of you made your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast as Lily attempted to give you a rundown on the group of boys that you were about to meet.

“Ok so obviously you know James, he plays quidditch and is studying to become an Auror. His best friend is Sirius who, I know, has a reputation but I swear he’s no that ba-”

“Lily I know who they all are! We’ve been in the same house for the last seven years,” you said, interrupting her with a laugh. Lily rolled her eyes at you.

“Yes I know you know them but you don’t know them,” Lily replied.

“Fine fine,” you said, throwing your hands up in surrender. “Continue.”

“Thank you,” Lily smiled. “As I was saying, Sirius is not as bad as everyone makes him out to seem. Yes, he hooks up with quite a few girls but he’s actually very funny and is secretly a sweetheart. Then there’s Peter, who I’ll admit is a little odd, but he’s harmless. And finally, there’s Remus. He honestly reminds me of you: he’s quiet and he reads a lot like you do. But he’s kind of a smartass sometimes so watch out for that,” she said, finished with her rundown. By this point, the two of you had reached the great hall. Breakfast was already in full swing and the room was swarming with students. Lily grabbed your arm and led you to a spot about midway down the table. She plopped down next to James, kissing him quickly on the cheek, causing Sirius to make a fake gagging face, before pulling you down to sit next to her.

“Boys,” she said, attempting to catch the attention of all four boys.

“This is (Y/n), my best mate in the entire world, so you all better be nice to her,” Lily stated matter-o-factly. You looked up to give a meek smile to all the boys. James greeted you warmly, Sirius gave you a small nod, Peter waved excitedly, and Remus didn’t even look up at you. You frowned for a moment before Sirius smacked Remus’s arm from his spot next to him.

“Hey Moony, pay attention we have a guest,” he said jokingly before shooting you a smile. Remus’s head shot up quickly, looking from Sirius to you, locking his eyes with yours. Once he seemingly realized what was happening he shot you a quick smile. You smiled back, attempting to hide the blush that the momentary eye contact had caused. You had always found Remus attractive, but you had never been so near him before. Something about the proximity made you jittery and made your palms sweat.

“Sorry about that,” he said, lifting a book from underneath the table. He flashed the cover of the book towards you. The title, Crime and Punishment, was sprawled across the worn cover. You felt your nose crinkle, reminded of how much you disliked the book. Remus’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What? Not a fan of Dostoevsky?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I guess the plot was interesting enough but oh my Godric was it dense,” you replied with a groan. You heard Remus chuckle from his spot across from you.

“Yeah, I suppose I can see where you’re coming from. I am enjoying it so far though,” he replied. You hummed in understanding before reaching for a piece of toast.

“Oh come on Lily,” Sirius said with a grin. “I can’t believe you would bring another nerd along. We already have Remus, we don’t need another one,” he continued. You felt your face heat up, ducking your head as you bit into the piece of toast. Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

“Sirius I told you to be nice,” she said before throwing a piece of her roll at him. He laughed before throwing his hands up in surrender.

“Sorry (Y/n),” he apologized. You sent him a quick nod to let him know that it was okay, before pulling out your own book. As you stared down at the pages in front of you, you missed Remus perking up in interest.

“What are you reading?” he asked, setting his book down. You looked up quickly, showing him the cover.

“A Tale of Two Cities. It’s one of my favorites,” you answered shyly. You felt Lily shift beside you before speaking.

“She’s read that book probably a million times,” she said. You rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say a million times, but yes I’ve read it quite a few times,” you replied before shifting your eyes back to Remus. He let out a soft laugh.

“I’ve never read it before. I’ll have to pick a copy up when we go to Hogsmeade. One of the shops sells muggle books,” he said with a small smile.

“You can borrow mine!” you said too quickly, causing yourself to blush. He looked at you, surprised.

“Oh, uh sure. I’ll borrow it when I’m done with this,” he replied, once again holding up Crime and Punishment. You heard Lily snicker from beside you.

“Good luck trying to read one of her books,” Lily said. “There’s so much writing in the margins it’s nearly impossible to get through.” You turned to her and smacked her lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey! It’s not that bad,” you said with a slight pout.

“I don’t mind,” Remus said, causing your eyes to turn back to him. “I’ll be interested in reading your thoughts as well as the book,” he said earnestly. You felt yourself smile involuntarily. You were about to reply when James stood up suddenly.

“Damnit we’re going to be late to potions,” he exclaimed. And with that, you all gathered your things and left.

Potions was generally a subject that you were good at. You often found yourself shooting your hand up during class to answer questions and Professor Slughorn had taken a liking to you. However, you found yourself unable to pay attention to the lesson. From your seat on the far side of the room, you had caught yourself staring at Remus. He was joking around with Peter, his potions partner, and had a wide smile spread across his face. He had scars running down his face, though they didn’t make him less attractive. In fact, they only seemed to add to the allure. His hair was messy and fell into his eyes. You felt yourself sigh when he ran his finger through his hair to get it out of his face.

“(Y/n)? Are you all right?” Lily asked, startling you. You nearly jumped from your seat, hand pressed to your chest.

“Merlin Lils! You scared me,” you replied. She squinted her eyes at you.

“(Y/n)? What’s going on with you?” she asked, scanning your face.

“Nothing!” you swore, stealing another quick glance at Remus. That was when the realization hit her. A teasing smile quickly spread it’s way across Lily’s face.

“Oh my goodness you fancy Remus don’t you?” she inquired, making your eyes widen and face flush. You pushed her shoulder lightly.

“Lily hush! And no I don’t!” you exclaimed as you glanced around the room to make sure that no one had heard her.

“Oh, you totally do! All that book talk this morning must’ve really got to you huh,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at you. You put your head in your hands and groaned.

“Shut up Lily!”

“Only when you admit it,” she responded.

“Fine! But you can’t tell anybody! Not even James,” you warned. Lily grinned from beside you.

“Oh, this is perfect! The two of you are perfect for each other!” she exclaimed.

“Lily! Just be quiet. It’s not like it’s ever going to happen,” you said. Lily looked at you, confusion was written all over her face.

“What do you mean it’s never going to happen?” she asked. You sighed, glancing at Remus once again. He was stirring the potion in front of him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Lily why would he ever like me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” she replied, clearly exasperated. You turned to her, giving her an incredulous look.

“We have seven years of evidence that boys don’t like me,” you respond. Lily rolled her eyes beside you.

“Well, this is different trust me,” Lily responded. You stare at her.

“How could this possibly be any different?”

“Because you could actually talk to Remus, get to know him He’ll obviously fancy you once he learns more about you.” Then it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Lily, it’s never going to happen so just drop it,” you responded. You picked up the recipe for the potion that you were assigned to make that day.

“Now, can you please hand me the adder’s fork,” you said, listing off the first ingredient. Lily sighed.

“Fine. But we’ll be talking about this later.”

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Day 8: Dot, Dot, Dot (Agent Whiskey)

Day 8: Dot, Dot, Dot - Agent Whiskey 

Pairing:  Whiskey x Reader (Agent Apple) 

Rating: 18 + for language and mention of abuse/torture 

This is kind of a sequel to day one of the November writing challenge but can be read as a stand alone, if you would like to read part 1 I will link it below. 

Part 1 (Day 1: Heartbeat- Agent Whiskey)

November Writing Challenge Masterlist 

Day 7: Sculpted - Javier Pena 

I’m pregnant. - Apple 

… - Whiskey 

To be fair there was probably a better way to tell your boyfriend of eight months that you were carrying his baby instead of a text message but you panicked. The worst part of the whole thing was Whiskey’s reply or lack of. All day long you had been staring as the dot, dot, dot appeared on the phone before quickly disappearing. It was also probably a horrible time to do it while he was on a mission in India trying to take down a new crime syndicate that had popped up over there. Minor details right? 

It had been six hours since you had sent that text, and you had hoped for a least some sort of reply even if just an ok would have been fine. But, the waiting was killing you. Is he mad? Is he happy? Is he worried? Nervous? Excited? Your head began to spin before you took a seat in the lab chair with your head in your hands. 

You nearly screamed when a warm hand landed on your shoulder, “Whoa, Apple it’s just me!” Your best friend Tequila shot his hands in the air like he was surrendering, “are you ok? You're more jittery than a jackrabbit.” 

“....No” you can’t help the tears streaming down your face, and Tequila quickly pulls you into a hug. 

“What did that old bastard do? Did he hurt you?” Tequila asks in a rush rubbing circles on your back, “Whatever it is I’ll kill him for you.” 

You pull back, “NO! Please, don’t hurt him, he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s...oh I did something stupid Tequila and now I don’t even know how to fix it. I told Whiskey I was pregnant in a text message while he is gone on a mission and he hasn’t replied. I’m freaking out!” 

Several emotions passed across Tequila’s face in quick succession before shock stayed, “WAIT YOUR PREGNANT?!” he shouts across the lab. You jump up quickly slapping your hand over his mouth, “SHHHHHH! Goddamnit Tequila do you want the whole world to know!?” 

“Ok...ok yeah I’m sorry I just...how the hell? Well I know how babies are made but weren’t ya’ll using something? What the hell happened?” Tequila asks, going to hug you close again. 

You rest your head on his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his waist. “We always do, it was only ONE time a few months ago when he got home from that three week mission in Cambodia and I picked him up from the airport...I was just so dang excited to see him and I couldn’t wait to get home so...we kind of had sex in my car in the parking lot.” 

“God Apple, I was in that car yesterday when we went for lunch and now you're telling me that’s where you conceived you and Whiskey’s baby. I will never look at that car the same again.” 

You groan loudly before the sobs start again, damn hormones. “I was so nervous when I got the call that I didn’t even think before I texted him and now look what I get to see all day!” You whip out your phone shoving it towards Tequila’s face. 

“Dot, dot, dot… that’s all he wrote?” Tequila asks incredulously. 

“Yeah that’s it! Oh shit I have completely screwed this up haven’t I? He’s not going to want this, I mean especially after what happened to his wife, and we’ve only been together a few months, and-” 

“Do you love him?” Tequila cuts you off with his question. 

“Yes,” you answer without having to think about it, “Of course I love him.” 

“Then that’s all that matters. Just give it time, he should be back any day now from his mission and you will sit down and talk this through…. Apple do you want to have this baby?” 

“Yes,” it was the truth, since the moment the doctor’s office had called and confirmed the baby it became yours and Whiskey or not you were going to have this baby. 

“Ok then I have your back 100%, Uncle Tequila is going to be with you, every single step of the way.” Tequila pulls you back into a hug and you melt into his arms, knowing everything was going to be okay. 

The rest of the day and the three days following that are a blur. You haven’t heard anything more from Jack and your feeling more and more depressed about it. Luckily Tequila is there to pick up the slack, he makes sure you're eating, drinking lots of water, and even goes with you to the first ultrasound appointment. Telling the nurse very proudly that he’s the baby's Uncle. When you both saw the sonogram for the first time, you honestly couldn’t tell who was crying more. 

On the fourth day since you had sent the dreaded text message you finally heard from Jack. A single text message. 

Meet me in my office. - Whiskey 

Your heart leapt out of your chest and you reread the message over and over again before pinching yourself to make sure it was real. It was. You walk out of the lab in a sort of trance going over to the elevator and hitting the button for the eleventh floor. The whole ride up you feel like throwing up and you honestly don’t know if that’s from nerves or the pregnancy. 

When you reach the large oak door, you knock hesitantly, the door swings open almost immediately and you are grabbed quickly before being yanked forward. The door shutting behind you. The room is pitch black and you can’t make anything out except that someone is holding you tightly against the door, their hands running all over your body. Before a warm mouth lands on yours. You sigh, you would know those lips anywhere. 

“Jack” you moan when you're able to catch your breath, “Jack, what the hell are you doing? Turn on some lights in here.” 

Jack's breathing is labored and you reach behind you for the light switch. When the light comes on you gasp. Jack never looks anything but immaculate but right now he’s a mess. No shoes, dirty jeans, wearing nothing but a sweat and blood drenched white t-shirt, and let’s not forget the bruises. His hands are slightly swollen, and purple, he’s leaning heavily on his right side, a black eye, and his nose looks broken. But all of that is nothing compared to his eyes, bloodshot, exhausted, and glassy with unshed tears. 

“Oh...my god, Jack what the hell happened to you?” You rush around the room pulling his chair closer before you sit him down in the chair. You run over to the phone calling for Ginger in the lab to come with a med kit. 

You try to help him remove his shirt but he’s hurt bad. You grab the scissors off his desk and begin cutting your way down the shirt. Underneath there’s even more bruises and a long jagged line made by some kind of knife. Ginger arrives moments later and gasps at his state, saying he arrived an hour ago and didn’t say anything to anyone. The two of you work quickly to get him patched up and healing, applying alpha-gel and bandages where needed. It’s only when you begin stitching up the wound on his chest that Whiskey breaks. 

The tears slide down his cheeks and he openly sobs. Ginger looks at you and you nod letting her know she can leave before you kneel in front of Jack. “Baby, what’s wrong? We will get you all healed up, you don’t have to worry about a thing.” 

“They took my phone,” the broken voice of your lover leaves you breathless, “I was tortured for days and one day they came in and showed me the message from you...they told me I was never going to see you again...that they were going to kill me, and I would never see you or our baby ever again.” 

Your heart begins to beat even faster and the tears begin to form in your own eyes, before you reach up and gently put your hands on his cheeks. “Baby, it’s over now. You're not there anymore. I’m safe, we’re both safe.” You remove your hands to put them over your slightly raised bump. Jack looks down before putting his hands over yours. 

“I’m done sugar,” he whispers brokenly, and for a moment you fear he means with you, “I am going to tell Champ today, I can’t do field work anymore. I don’t want to miss a single moment in our child’s life.” 

“But...Jack you love being a field agent…” you start but he quickly cuts you off. 

“I LOVE YOU MORE!” he shouts, “I….I can’t be a field agent and have you waiting around for me to not come home from a mission. I don’t want our baby not to know his or her father. I know we haven’t been together long but I am going to always choose you because I have been in love with you for a lot longer than we’ve been together!” 

You don’t move for several minutes before you quietly respond, “oh Jack I love you too baby. I want to be with you and raise this baby with you and grow old with you.” 

“Sugar, I want that too. So goddamn much,” he pulls you towards him pressing his mouth hard to your own. 

When you break apart you ask him quietly, “Would you like to see our baby?” 

Jack nods quickly before helping you to stand. You go back over to the door where you had thrown your lab coat off and riffle through the pockets looking for the sonogram photo. You take it out and hand it to Jack. 

Jack spends a long time just staring at the picture of the tiny human growing inside you. When he finally looks up at you, fresh tears are making their way down his face. Your own cheeks are wet with them as well. He gently places the photo on the table before gesturing you forward. His hands reach out for you and when you get close enough he pulls your shirt up slowly. His hands rub gently over the small mound and he places his lips to your stomach. 

“Your daddy is here, little one. No one is ever going to take me away from you or your mama again. I will be here for you every step of the way. I love you so much,” Jack looks up meeting your eyes and you see the reflection of love in his eyes back at you. 

Day 9: No, you don’t -Maxwell Lord 

[ledbiantastic]

Okay, it's time for my Harrow The Ninth read through post. Spoilers, obviously. Thanks to @shakespearerants, @irascibubble, and @mayasaura for encouraging me to keep going. Enjoy!

I am on page 33 of Harrow the Ninth and I am making a prediction. I initially thought the Body referred to the dead girl in the locked tomb, but now I think it's Gideon. We'll see if I'm right.

Page 44 says it is the dead girl in the tomb, but I'm not convinced it isn't also Gideon

Gideon must be important to have to be erased from Harrow's mind like that, right?

Did Ortus the First kill/try to kill Gideon's mom? The timeline adds up, they said he messed something up nineteen years ago, Gideon was 18 in the last book and time has passed

In the weird retconned memories, after every death, or during, someone says "is this how it happens" which makes me think it's, like, Harrow's brain asking that

Who are those notes from and to? What's up with that?

I love seeing Harrow spend time with Magnus and Abigail. I liked them

If Harrow is haunted, but this is not the real version of the past, is her mind creating the ghost? Is it Gideon? I don't think Gideon would write notes like that though...

Page 291 is Ortus talking to her like she's Gideon's mother? IS HE ASKING WHY SHE BROUGHT ALONG THE BABY?

Is Ortus' cavalier more active or something? Like he doesn't remember because she takes control?

Page 315 "he had seen me" who is he and who is me? Who is narrating this to Harrowhark? Is. It. Gideon? (Later I decide it's Palamedes seeing the Sleeper, who is also narrating and is possibly Gideon. We'll see if that's right.)

Is the poster on page 318 Gideon? Is It? IS IT? But Gideon's hair didn't go down to her shoulders. Is it her mom?

Are Camilla and Coronabeth on the side of the rebellion? BOE? Is old Harrow? I KNEW IT! But I'm sad they're on different sides.

Is Ianthe the spy? Is that how she knew Coronabeth was alive?

Does the Sleeper represent the part of Harrow and/or her brain that erased her memories and it's cleaning up the debris in her psyche? OR IS IT GIDEON? AKA the DORMANT part of Harrow-as-Lyctor? When the Sleeper is unmasked, will we see Harrow or Gideon?

Did Gideon's mother start the rebellion or something? Is that why they had a poster of her? Was she Eden?

So, Canaan house was on earth then?

Did Harrow (old Harrow) tamper with her own temporal lobe? Did Mercymorn? Ianthe?

Whose idea was it for Ortus to kill her then? John? Augustine? Mercymorn? Someone else?

Did Harrow break into the locked tomb? I want to believe she did, because I support her. But if not, who is the Body?

Shit, I can't remember what color Gideon's eyes were. Page 363 when Harrow's eyes are two different colors, black and gold

Ianthe wants to marry Harrow? Weird. I don't ship it. But I'm kind of stuck on Gideon and if I wasn't, maybe.

See a man about a queen? What does it mean? What is Ianthe doing? Also love that she cursed Harrow's hair to grow extra, just to be petty.

I'm so confused by chapter 40. What the hell is going on? Why is Harrow trying to be a cavalier? The fuck? Role swapped false memory? What is even happening?

Is Harrowhark's brain just, like, randomly spit-balling while she's dying or something? Love that Abigail and Magnus seem to be aware that it's not real.

OH OH OH THAT WAS GIDEON! SERVING THE COFFEE AND MAKING HARROW BLUSH IN THE THIRD(?) FALSE MEMORY OR DREAM OR WHATEVER! I love that Abigail is NOT having this, like, no I'm not gonna watch your romance novel version unfold.

I think I've noticed that the ones who have speaking roles the weird memories are the ones who died in the last book.

Are they all taking active part in these false scenarios? All the dead from Canaan house?

Oh my god oh my god here it is she remembers and she's so sad!

So she erased Gideon to save her soul. Nope nope nope nope nope I can't. I can't deal with these feelings. Y.Y

Who the fuck is the angry spirit?!?!

Who fucking stabbed her?

IS GIDEON DRIVING HARROW'S FUCKING BODY AROUND DURING A FIGHT? HELL YES! AND THAT MEANS I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'S NARRATING!

OH AND I PREDICT THE GHOST IS CYTHERIA!

I'm still thinking about what Harrow did. It's so sweet and so sad and she's so lonely and she didn't even know how lonely she was.

Also I'm already excited to reread this series.

Oh yeah, this is GIDEON in here, swearing up a storm and trying to use a sword.

Okay, first I'm getting emotional just from heading Gideon's voice, then I'm emotional about what it was like for her to be in Harrow's body/mind, then I'm emotional about all the things she wanted to say but didn't have time, AND THEN I'M EMOTIONAL when Gideon says why she thinks Harrow did it and I'm like baby nooooooo it was because she loved you, not because she didn't want to rely on you! Honey, baby, no!

"Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it." HARROWHARK, I GAVE YOU MY WHOLE LIFE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT IT. 💔💔💔😟😟😟😭😭😭 Excuse me while my heart breaks.

Oh, also a bigger issue in this book is the whole concept of the afterlife? And it's messed up because of the emperor? I don't know why I wasn't prepared for that but I wasn't.

Ortus holding Harrow and pointing out that she and Gideon were neglected children is making my therapist soul ascend.

I'm such an idiot. His name wasn't Ortus, it was Gideon. He did kill Gideon's mother, that's why she shouted his name. Or they were in love? One or the other... Or both?

Harrow did a find and replace in her brain and it had unexpected consequences.

I've been leaning more and more towards the Sleeper and ghost being Cytheria.

Oh my sweet sword lesbian himbo, how I've missed you. "The sword I had to hold overhead in one hand as I used the other to keep everything inside you; stuff was coming out, Harrow, I don't know precisely what stuff because I'm not a goddamn necromancer."

Gideon is OCCUPYING HARROW'S BODY during a deadly invasion and is like, 'I'm gonna shut my eyes to reach under the shirt and get rid of encumbrances. I tried not to touch you, so don't get mad.' I feel like Harrow would be the first one to say 'do whatever you have to do to stay alive, you imbecile!'

So Mercymorn stabbed Harrow... So the heralds would eat her as a way to buy time? Was that the plan? Gideon calling her "my necromancer" made my heart do a thing.

I want to understand what she's saying about Gideon's mother. Was Gideon a science experiment? Like Kipo?

Where. THE FUCK did Cytheria get the gun?

Dulcie is *horny for revenge* Abigail is a BAMF and my new (and final?) prediction is that the Sleeper is Gideon's mom.

Gideon and Ianthe is a fun dynamic. I love how protective Gideon is, that she's mad at Ianthe for hurting Harrow's heart.

Gideon must have her mother's eyes to be freaking all the lyctors the fuck out.

"I wanted you to use me... I wanted you to live and not die... Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me." Why am I crying? 😭😭😭😭😭 Why is this the most romantic thing when it's also full of insults and curses and is followed by a your mom joke? What a Gideon thing to do, be so romantic and gross and sassy all at once. I love her, I want to be her. Gideon forever.

Love that Ianthe also thinks Harrow got rid of Gideon because she didn't want her. /s I'm starting to worry that it's silly for me to hold onto the 'because she can't live without Gideon' explanation.'

"But Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention." That's why indifference is the opposite of love, hate is still passionate attention. But this also makes me feel so bad for Gideon because she deserves to be loved, dammit!

Okay, "gall on gall" is pretty hilarious. Good job Ianthe.

Love that the ghost of Matthias Nonius speaks in meter because he's been so deified by the Ninth house, and he's confused by it. It's like people in a musical being aware they're in a musical, like, why am I singing?

Ortus' poem was important after all!

Is it the sword? Does Harrow have to destroy Gideon's sword? Because that would break my heart a little.

"It bewildered her, back at Canaan House, how the whole of her always seemed to come back to Gideon. For one brief and beautiful space of time, she has welcomed it: that microcosm of eternity between forgiveness and the slow uncomprehending agony of the fall. Gideon rolling up her shirt sleeves. Gideon dappled in shadow, breaking promises. One idiot with a sword and an asymmetrical smile had proved to be Harrow's end." I just... This is so beautifully written. And describing Gideon as one idiot with a sword is so perfect and right and I just... 🖤🖤🖤😭😭😭

No no no I hate this either/or bullshit! I know I'm a sappy optimist, but I want both of them to survive, damnit! I want Harrow to be able to go back to her body without losing Gideon's soul. I want Gideon to keep existing.

What does Dulcinea know?!?!

Commander? That's Gideon's mom, right? Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity

What does that all mean? Are those Eminem lyrics? What other language is in there?

WHAT'S ALL COME OUT?

I knew she was in the sword.

Oh my god, if you need John to get in the tomb, and she was trying to get in the tomb and had something, a tool... Samples... She was armed with the baby... Is Gideon's father John? Is Gideon the fucking child of God?

She named the baby Bomb... This whole series could have been Bomb the Ninth... Bomb Nav...

Yep yep called it, child of God. The first time they put that plan in action was to get sperm to make Gideon. The second time was so Harrow could kill the first Gideon.

A dad joke?! A DAD JOKE?!

Gideon and Harrow were so cruel to each other as kids. It just makes me so sad.

Was Harrow able to get into the tomb because she made Gideon bleed?

So is Alecto John's cavalier? Annabel and Alecto... Are the same person? I'm so confused. She's the body in the locked tomb? But how is that related to her eyes being in his genes?

Wait, the eyes switched? I continue to be confused. Did he do the lyctor thing but also put a part of both him and his cavalier into the cavalier's body? But she was never human? What's going on? Why do they think she never had genes?

Oh cool, Mercy killed God and now everyone's gonna die... ... ... Ooooor not.

I love that beating up Harrow is Gideon's job AND saving Harrow is Gideon's job. Very cute.

Sooooo Gideon the OG and Pyrrha both fucked Gideon's mom... With the same body...

Gideon, such a romantic, wishing she had Harrow's name on her lips as she died. "I mean, yeah, I was thinking about you too; if I could've turned that off I would've turned it off years ago" HAHAHAHAHA You can't stop thinking about Harrow even if you want to! God, what a sweet himbo.

"Yes, well, jail for mother" says Gideon... Is she referencing Miette? Jail for mother for one thousand years!

Okay, so we have definitely confirmed that the Body is Alecto/Annabel/God's cavalier.

What did Dulcinea tell her? That Gideon is moving her body around? Doesn't she know that? Shouldn't that not be a surprise?

Okay, so, wait, what happened to Harrowhark?

ARRRRRGH I'm not smart enough for this book! Or I'm not visual enough! I know I should recognize the description of bobbed hair and "lambent" eyes but I have no idea who it is and also WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO GIDEON AND HARROWHARK?! UGH NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT BOOK AND I'M GONNA BE SO IMPATIENT AND CONFUSED!

Well that was fun to reread. Impressed I got some things right, but mostly I was very wrong.

[starlxghtmoon]

Spread Your Wings || Chapter One

Pairing: Hawks x Reader || Tangled AU

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 2,000+ words

A/N: I’m super nervous about this, but excited! Sorry if this first part is boring, it’s supposed to act as an introduction and I tried to add more feeling to it than just happiness all around ajbfkjabkjawoifn but whoever reads this shitty fic of mine, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own BNHA or Tangled, both and all characters except OCs [Mimi the cat] belong to their respective creators. This is purely creative fun.

Chapter Two

Masterlist

An elderly hooded woman approached the shrub with caution, looking around to see if anyone had followed her before pulling back her hood and uncovered the mysterious object. Underneath sat a golden flower, it looked ethereal with the way it softly glowed in the night; many tales have been made about this flower, some say it bloomed from a droplet of the sun that fell to the earth and could cure any illness, heal any wound. But the woman who was selfishly hoarding it, used it to stall her own time with a simple song.

“Flower, gleam and glow.” 

The flower began to glow brighter as she sang her song in her old worn voice.

“Let your power shine.

Make the clock reverse.

Bring back what once was mine.

What once was mine.”

As she finished her song, her aged voice grew rich and light, a satisfied smile tugging at her lips as her appearance shifted back to her younger days, gray going black. But the sound of shouts and flickering lights interrupted her serenity and in her rush to hide the flower once more and hide her own identity, she knocked over the shrub disguise, uncovering the flower for the guards approaching her spot to find.

“We found it!” A guard called out, commencing the uprooting of the magical flower, bringing it to the ill queen and healing her sickness. Soon after a princess would be born with snow white hair and e/c eyes.

However one evening, that same woman would sneak into the king and queen’s quarters where the baby peacefully slept, needing the flower’s magic to stall her mortal time once more.

“Flower, gleam and glow.”

She began to sing again in her croaky voice, the baby girl’s hair, white as snow began to glow a soft f/c. The woman leaned in, reaching out for a strand of her pure white hair, the effects of the magic flower already doing it’s work on the woman’s body. 

“Let your power shine.

Make the clock…”

The woman cut a strand of her hair as it glowed, but it immediately lost its power, the strand of hair changing from stark white to h/c. And since she’d cut her own song short, the magic didn’t take, reverting her back to her aged self. Gasping out of shock, the woman had no other choice than to take the baby.

As the child let out a cry, the woman scooped up the baby and made her escape, the sound of the baby’s cries awoke the king and queen, sending them both into a panic as the woman stole away the baby, disappearing into the night.

Restlessly, the kingdom searched and searched for the princess, but deep in the forest, hidden away in a tower, the woman would raise the girl as her own. Determined to keep her new flower hidden.

However, as well as the woman could keep the girl hidden, she couldn’t hide the outside from her as each year on her birthday, lanterns would be released into the night sky in hopes that the lost princess would return. And that lost princess was...you.

The shutters of the tower were swung open, as you grinned mischievously and looked around out the window. In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of a fluffy black tail swishing around behind one of the potted plants. You slapped a hand over your mouth and snorted softly before getting an idea and a mischievous glint to your eye. Straightening up and crossing your arms, you nonchalantly shrugged and looked away.

“Well, I guess Mimi isn’t out here.” You spoke, easing the midnight creature outside your window, making her let her guard down before suddenly she was yanked up by her tail, letting out a distressed meow. “Gotcha!” You exclaimed with an amused laugh. Letting the cat down from your trap of hair, you began to add on, “That’s 22 for me. How about 23 out of 45?” The cat grumbled in response, “Okay. Well, what do you wanna do?” The cat perked up at that question, letting out a gleeful meow and turning to the outside of the window, pawing out with a suggestive nod. “Yeah. I don’t think so.” You picked up the cat and swung your legs around to dangle out the window, placing the ball of fur in your lap. “I like it in here, and so do you.” Pointing at the cat, she stared up at you unimpressed. “Don’t look at me like that, you’re literally a cat. You should like being inside with me.” Mimi’s ears drew back in distaste. She did like being inside, but she also adored you and wanted you to have a taste of the outside world too. You've been cooped up in this place for 18 years straight, c’mon! “Oh, come on, Mimi. It’s not so bad in there.” You scritched behind her ear, eliciting a purr from deep within the cat’s chest before you pulled the cat into your chest and slid back inside.

You climbed up onto the roof beams, preparing for the morning and opening up the ceiling shutters before swinging back down with your hair. You then glanced over at the clock on her wall and began your day with your usual routine.

“Seven a.m. the usual morning lineup.”

Fetching the broom, you started with sweeping up the floors.

“Start on the chores and sweep till the floor’s all clean.”

Next, you equipped yourself with a mop and scrubbers to continue on with your chores. If you didn’t, you’d surely die of boredom. Not that you didn't already suffer from basically being a bird trapped in the cage you called home.

“Polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up.”

At least you had Mimi there to keep your spirits up as you swept around the tower again, checking the clock again with a slight roll of your eyes.

“Sweep again and by then it’s like, 7:15.”

It only took you a good 15 minutes to do all that? Sighing a little, you continued on with busying yourself. What a drag.

“And so I’ll read a book or maybe two or three.

I’ll add a few new paintings to my gallery.”

You knew you were running out of space on the walls, but you could always find nifty places and open spots to paint. One day you might run out of room and as morbid as it sounded, the thought did cross your mind that you’d even expire here. But you hoped you wouldn’t, you stayed optimistic that you’d be able to leave the nest and fly. Until then, you’d continue busying yourself around the tower, counting the hours and days… maybe even years. Hopefully your activities would help distract you from those spiraling thoughts as well, it was for the better that you were stuck here, right?

“I’ll play guitar and knit and basically,

Just wonder when will my life begin?”

As you pulled a freshly baked pie out of the oven, you spotted the perfect spot to paint on the wall, measuring it up with your hands. 

Busting out your paint, you shoved the decorative piece aside and began painting. Filling the spot with soft blue paint as a base and planning out what you'd put there.

“Then after lunch it’s puzzles and darts and baking.

Papier-mache, a bit of ballet and chess.”

At this point, you were just annoying Mimi with your various different hobbies you picked up. Internally cackling at her torment. But none of it was malicious, Mimi loved you and you loved Mimi, she was your only solace here. One would never abandon the other. Your bond was unbreakable. 

“Pottery and ventriloquy, candle-making.

Then I’ll stretch,

Maybe sketch,

Take a climb,

Sew a dress.”

Mimi was absolutely over it and exhausted when you put her in a minidress resembling yours. She lowkey loved it, but it just wasn’t right. Cats weren’t supposed to wear dresses, but Mimi sure looked adorable in one!

“And I’ll reread the books if I have time to spare.

I’ll paint the walls some more

I’m sure there’s room somewhere.”

Now you were really getting stuck, looking for spots was slowly becoming more and more impossible. You sighed a little, slowly the same old same old was beginning to eat away at you. Grumbling a little, you decided to instead distract yourself with brushing your lengthy hair.

“And then I’ll brush

And brush and brush

And brush my hair.

Stuck in the same place I’ve always been.”

Finishing up brushing the ends of your hair, you sat there for a moment, breathing out a puff of air. You looked around from your seat upon the beams of the roof. The space was big and anyone would be comfy in a home like this. Right, a home, not a tower. You were a caged bird. And you certainly had the ability to leave, you could do whatever you wanted with your 70 foot long hair... but would you? Probably not, you wouldn’t dare betray your mother. Besides, the world was a dangerous place, your mother said so multiple times. But… you longed for something more. To feel the grass on your feet, feel the wind flow through your hair, swim in the water, explore the world and… see the floating lights that never failed to appear on your birthday every year.

"And I'll keep wondering and wondering

And wondering and wondering

When will my life begin?"

You approached the open window of the tower, longingly looking out at the scenery before you and sighing softly. Tomorrow you'd turn 18. For a moment, you wondered how many more birthdays you'd have to spend locked away, with so many questions and curiosities.

"Tomorrow night the lights will appear

Just like they do on my birthday each year."

You rested your cheek within your palm, leaning on the window sill as your gaze swooped around the trees and hills surrounding the tower. Your heart ached for more than what you had here and in a way, it made you feel guilty. Your mother did everything for you, she sheltered you, she fed you, she gave you a home and unconditional love. Sure, she was harsh and brash sometimes, but she only wanted the best for you, she wanted to keep you safe. She was protecting you and your gift. You wouldn't survive without her. At least, that’s what you believed.

"What is it like out there where they glow

Now that I'm older.

Mother might just let me go."

You put the finishing touches on that painting you'd been working on, you were jealous of your own artwork. The depiction you'd made of yourself watching the floating lights with pure amazement and wonder. You placed your hand on the dry paint, brows furrowing in frustration. Why do you feel so guilty for something you want?

"Wow, I could get used to a view like this." His stop on the roof caught the attention of the two men with him. The dark haired one of the two rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"So could I-! I've seen better." The masked man with them commented, switching from amazement to stuck up. His outburst made the dark haired one immediately hush him, the masked man slapping his hands over his mouth.

"Do you wanna get caught or something?" 

"Sorry, Dabi." He spoke lower this time, making Dabi shake his head a little in dismissal before redirecting his attention to the other man with them who continued to stare at the view. 

"Hawks. We gonna do this or what?"

"Hold on." He made him pause, Dabi rose a brow, heavily annoyed and completely fed up with his antics. "Yep. I'm used to it. Guys, I want a castle." Hawks placed his hands on his hips, still admiring the view.

"We do this job, you can buy your own damn castle. Yeah?" Dabi stepped forward, grabbing the blonde by his collar and yanking him back.

Dabi and Twice securely held onto the rope, carefully lowering Hawks down into the crown room. If it were up to Dabi, he would've dropped his ass for the guards to take, but they needed that damn crown and he was gonna get it. 

One of the guards sneezed and Hawks let out a mocking groan, "Hay fever?" The guard looked over his shoulder, not noticing that he was there.

"Yeah." He looked back in front of him before realization dawned on him, "Huh?" He whipped around, the crown and Hawks gone. His gaze darted up, but they were already gone and so was the lost princess's crown.

"Can't you picture me in a castle of my own? Cause I certainly can." The trio sprinted away from the castle, Dabi ignoring Hawks with a roll of his eyes as Twice switched back and forth between approval and disapproval. "All the things we've seen and it's only eight in the morning! Gentlemen, this is a very big day!" 

"Would you shut up already!"

"Yeah, shut up, Hawks! No! Be louder!"

"Ugh…"

[manchestereyes]

3, 4, and 25 for the book asks!

3. what were your top five books of the year?

ooooh this is gonna be so hard because i give out 5 stars like they’re candy lol but the ones that stuck with me the most (and that i’m already dying to reread) would have to be cemetery boys by aiden thomas, the house in the cerulean sea by tj klune, honey girl by morgan rogers, one last stop by casey mcquiston, and boyfriend material by alexis hall! (with honorary mentions to heartstopper, perfect on paper, and if this gets out because again—soooo hard to choose!!)

4. did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

ooooh yeah! aiden thomas immediately comes to mind, as i picked up cemetery boys early in the year to see what all the hype was about and was FLOORED by how much i loved it. it’s so fun but hits all the best queer notes too—found family, feeling like an outcast and desperately wanting to prove yourself, and an absolutely off the charts romance. while his second book was a bit too scary for me, i still can’t wait to see what he does next, as i really love his world building and infusion of latinx culture. and while i technically read only mostly devastated last year, that was in december so sophie gonzales absolutely deserves a shout out here too, since i freaking devoured perfect on paper and if this gets out. i really love how she puts her psychology background into her characters since it helps me see why they are the way that they are. and some of those flaws hit so deep (hello insecure attachment) but in the best way because some of us really need to read about that and see that things will turn out alright for someone like us, you know?

25. what reading goals do you have for next year?

considering that i’ll be student teaching the first half of the year (which is basically as much work as being a teacher, just without the pay) and potentially starting my first year of teaching in the fall (although it’s not looking likely right now, as i’m thinking i’d rather be a librarian), i’ll be happy if i can get through 2 books a month lol. beyond that, i’m always trying to read more diversely and i think i’m gonna try being a mood reader once i finish all my library books. i’m hoping that by choosing what i feel like reading/am most excited to dive into rather than having a set order of things to read will help prevent reading slumps. oh and i’m almost done with schitt’s creek and will absolutely be reading fic as soon as i finish because i’m not ready to say goodbye to these characters yet 🥺 (so if anyone seeing this has any recs, pls send them over!) i also really wanna be more active on my bookstagram since i kinda gave up on it this fall (yay seasonal depression) and i miss connecting with the community on there, even if photography is hard af hahaha. idk what that’ll look like yet—maybe posting once or twice a week to start, but i’ll just have to see how i can squeeze it in. you can follow me at @a.lifelongreader over there though if you want to join the fun!

book asks!

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: “Sunsets and Slip ups”

Pairing: dom! Yoongi x sub! brat! Reader ft. Namjoon ft. Jimin

Warnings: angst, cheating, degradation, abusive parent (trigger warning!!), smut, cream pie, spit play, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks), If I missed anything, I am sorry!!!

*Author’s Note: I wrote this part very differently, introducing you into the mind of the ‘Min Boy’ character. It’s much longer than my other fics (8300)!! Honestly, the story came together so well that I just kept going. I hope you all enjoy!!*

Rating: 18 and over

Y/N:

Your phone pings beside you causing you to stir in your bed. You roll over reluctantly, not sure if you want to start the day even though you're not really sleeping. A second ping causes you to make your decision, awake it is. ‘I have to go to away this weekend. I’ll be back late Sunday.’ The first message reads. ‘Sorry to spring this on you but I wasn’t expecting it either. Be good brat. Xo. Min.’ You jump up from under the covers and reread the text over and over. You type a response and delete it, then type another and delete that as well. “Fuck it.” You throw off the covers and pace your bedroom, opting to call. The phone rings for what feels like forever. “Hello.” He answers. “You can't go away this weekend!” “Can I call you back please?” He’s annoyed and you don’t care. “No, we can talk now or not at all, ever!” You shout. There is silence on the line, but the call hasn’t dropped. He’s probably muted you. You stop pacing and try listening more intently to no avail. “Hello!” You yell. “Your lack of patience is unsettling.” He comes back on the line. “I don’t care, you don’t just get to spring leaving on me at the last minute after I invited you to my father's birthday party. You promised you would come; said you would meet him. If you flake out on me now, I’ll never talk to you again.” “It’s my mother y/n. She’s asked to see me. I’m sorry but I have to go.” Your eyes widen and you immediately feel stupid. “Is everything alright?” “I honestly don’t know. I won't know until I get there. Look, I am sorry about missing your father’s party. I can make it up to you and to him.” “No, it's ok. Go and do your thing. Maybe one day, I’ll be meeting your mom you know? Who knows right?” Your chuckle meets with silence. “She’s much better company than my father that’s for sure. I gotta go but I'll see you as soon as I get back. Be good for me brat.” “Yoongi,” You begin but he's already hung up.

Min:

Yoongi broods over his packed bag, knowing he shouldn’t really care what y/n thinks but at the same time feeling terrible about letting her down. He did want to spend the weekend with her and meet her father. It was the right thing to do. It was the first time in a long time that he’s ever felt close to someone. He shook his head to tousle his still drying hair, zipping his bag. “Son,” He turns to face his father, “I hear you're going to see your mother.” Yoongi doesn’t answer. His father enters his room and slowly paces, looking over everything with either a shrug or grunt of disapproval. Don’t get angry, that’s what he wants. Yoongi grinds his teeth, repeating this mantra over and over. “Did you need something?” His father stands before him, arms behind his back. “I don’t need many things Yoongi, I have assured myself a comfortable life. The one thing I truly need as a father is the cooperation of his only son. I haven't always been the best father, that I can admit, but I like to think I am fair. Your mother, on the other hand, has always coddled you, made you weak, emotional. It kills me to see you so dependent on her approval, her love, especially when you know who she truly is deep to her core.” He turns to face the window. “Lee An has brought me many new possibilities. A new life, sense of purpose, and love that your mother never could but best of all she has brought me a second chance. A second son. Now having said that, your new brother will be joining us here soon and I expect you to show him around the city, make him comfortable. Booze, clubs, women and spare no expense.” He turns to Yoongi, gripping his shoulder hard, “Am I understood?” “Yes.” Yoongi growls. His father moves his hand up, wrapping it around Yoongi's pale neck and squeezes. “Yes, what?” “Yes, sir.” His father nods in approval. “I can see that fire in your eyes. Your Min blood dying to be freed. It gives me hope son, but before you say something witty or disrespectful, think of your mother and how she wouldn’t enjoy seeing you with bruises on your face.” Yoongi swallows down the angry lump in his throat as his father releases his grip and places a kiss on his forehead. “Have a safe flight son and send your mother my regards.”

Y/N:

“Please Joon, please! Give me something, I know you know more than you’re saying. You yourself have said he’s your best friend.” You sit across from Namjoon in his living room, having mustered up the energy to leave the house once the party planners arrived. “I really can't tell you anything Y/N, I'm sorry. You'll just have to ask him yourself. To be honest, I'm surprised he told you he was going to see her in the first place. He's incredibly private, even I have to drag things out of him at times.” You groan aloud which does nothing more than cause Namjoon to grimace. “Well, he is going to miss Daddy’s birthday so that’s a strike against him.” Namjoon laughs before getting up and walking to his kitchen for a glass of water. He takes a long sip and points over at you. “You're falling for him, aren't you?” Your eyes pop open and you chuckle nervously. “Not at all. I don’t FALL for anyone. He’s just interesting that’s all and you know I love a good challenge.” “Nope. I am not buying it. You haven't been this annoying since....” “DON’T even say his name aloud!” You shout. Namjoon gives you a large sly grin before taking a seat with you again. “Is he coming to you father's birthday bash?” “Absolutely not. I haven't seen or heard from him in over a year and to be honest I would very much like to keep it that way.” “I agree Y/N, I would have it no other way. Besides, Yoongi isn't the type to share his toys.” You scoff at the remark. “What exactly does that mean? No one owns me Namjoon. Wait, does he talk about us? What has he told you?” “Uh, Uh, Uh. How do they say it? Ah yes! Bro code. All I will say is keep your nose clean.” You roll your eyes at his comment. “Fuck you Joon and your bro code.” “See you tomorrow night Y/N.” He calls out to you as you let yourself out.

MIN:

Yoongi stares at the fresh bags that have formed under his eyes. His flight arrived late last night and since sleep seemed to evade him, he had opted to forgo it all together. He instead paced his hotel room, stalking Y/N’s Instagram page until the sun shone through the curtains. He should’ve been brave, sent a text or even called to tell her he missed her and wished she was lying in bed with him. He never did, the twisted voice of his father taking over to frown on such behavior, telling him to be a man, let her come to him. It was the never-ending battle of his mind. Do I give in to the darkness and be everything my father wishes me to be or can I hold onto the light my mother gave me and choose a different path? My own path? One where the two sides co-exist and I can just be me. Yoongi’s mind mulled these thoughts over in his frigid shower, his head down, allowing the water to cascade over his pulsing skull. He dressed quickly in dark jeans and a white button down, slamming a red bull in the cab on his way to his destination. Upon arrival, he looked over the unkempt lawn with a sigh. It was only 7am so he let himself into her home using the spare key she still had hidden under a fake frog on the front steps. He knew that her aide would not yet be there so they would have time alone. He couldn’t wait to see her, he had to know what was so urgent. It had been so long since they’ve seen each other, he needed answers. Yet, in this moment, even with all the anticipation and excitement that had borne itself in his chest, he didn’t have the courage to approach her, so he just stood in the doorframe leading to the backyard and watched as she danced carefreely in the sun.

Y/N:

You wake in a hurry and take off from your room to your fathers, only the sounds of your fluffy slippers shuffling against the hardwood can be heard. You burst through the door and jump on your fathers’ bed, scaring him awake. “Happy birthday Daddy!” You shout as he rubs at his eyes. You stand up and start hopping up and down singing happy birthday. He laughs aloud, “Get down Y/N. You’re going to break my bed.” You hop down onto your knees and hand your father a card and red giftbox. “Open it! Open it!” He rips open the card and reads it to himself with a smile before opening the box. His eyes light up at the sight of a golden Rolex. “Y/N, its too much!” “I saved my stipends and got it for you. I knew you wanted it. I hope you love it Daddy. You must wear it tonight at the party. There will be so many beautiful women there and they have to see how stylish you are.” He sighs. “Its perfect darling, thank you and please don’t worry about my impressing anyone tonight. I am more interested in the impression this Min boy you’ve been seeing makes.” Your heart suddenly drops. “About that, he won’t be able to make it. He had a family emergency but he says he will make it up to you.” You fathers brow furrows, “Is that so? Well, no one lets my daughter down. Tell him while I appreciate the sentiment, it isn’t needed. Besides, this must be divine intervention since I’ve invited a more suitable suitor for you.” “Daddy, he has an emergency. He would be here if he could. I am not interested in any other suitors.” “I know how boys like that think and I will not allow you to be taken advantage of, now I will hear no more of this Min boy. Besides, I thought it was my birthday, come let’s go enjoy breakfast.” Your father shuffles out of bed and heads into his restroom, leaving you feeling defeated.

MIN:

Yoongi’s smile soon fades as his mother abruptly stops dancing. He swallows slowly, removing his hands from his pocket and standing upright. “Wont you come say hello to your mother or are you still frightened of me after all this time?” She turns to face Yoongi and his eyes well with tears at her beauty. He hadn’t realized how much he had forgotten of her looks. “Come now angel, hug me.” She spreads her arms wide. He walks over to her slowly and falls into her embrace, sobbing softly as she pets his head. “Shh, its ok now. Mother has you. When did you change your hair color?” She pulls Yoongi away from her body, looking him over. “Do you hate it?” He asks. “No, I love it, your dark hair made you look too much like your father but this makes you look more like my angel.” He smiles at her response. She pulls Yoongi by the arm and over to sit with her in the shade under a large tree. “How are you angel? It’s been too long. I’ve wanted to write but they won’t tell me where you are now.” “I am good mother. It has been quite an adjustment. Father remarried.” She nods. Yoongi wonders what she’s on or not on as she continuously pets his face, arm, or head. “I heard from grandmother. He married his assistant Lee An, they always enjoyed each other’s company. He used to tell me I was crazy but I wasn’t was I angel? I was right, you see. I know things.” She whispers closely to his face and then breaks out laughing. “Mother, why did you ask to see me?” She stops laughing quickly and looks puzzled, hurt almost. “Didn’t you miss me angel? I missed you so much or have you turned against me like your father? Are you settled in with your new family? Your poor mother left with nothing.” She growls and then gasps before smiling. She goes back to petting Yoongi’s arm. “I have missed you mother but I have questions.” “No! Yoongi! No!” Yoongi and his mother turn to see her aide running towards them. “Alice! Hi! My son is here.” Yoongi’s mother waves at her. Alice comes towards them quickly, out of breath, she leans in and whispers into Yoongi’s ear. “You know you aren’t supposed to be alone with her.”

Y/N:

You’ve texted Yoongi multiple times but have yet to receive a response. He’s been on your mind all morning since you broke the news to your father that he wouldn’t be joining in on this evening festivities. “Morning gorgeous!” Your BFF enters your room. “Hey!” “Hey yourself! What’s with the long face?” “Daddy is not happy about Yoongi not being able to make it tonight. He doesn’t want me seeing him. On top of that I can’t reach him at all. Ugh. I really just want to let him have it but I’m trying to be understanding of his situation.” “And what exactly is his situation Y/N? This is the first you’re even hearing about his mother. He could be lying and out somewhere with his actual girlfriend. Don’t let him fool you with his charm or whatever it is you see in him. Tonight, is all about your dad anyway and having a good time. Screw that silly ole Min boy.” You nod, hearing what your friend was saying but upset that she’s feeding you doubt. What if Yoongi really did lie and was out with some other woman? Could you handle being made a fool again by another man? You lift your phone up and type out a text, ‘If you’re lying about your mom and fucking around with another girl so help me God Min, I’ll do everything in my power to bring you down.' You toss your phone to the side and look over at your BFF who is pretending to ignore you. “Wanna see what I’m wearing tonight?” You ask her. Her eyes light up. “Hell yes! Show me!”

MIN:

Yoongi sits in the living room now with his mother as Alice serves them tea. He feels unsettled as he carefully looks over every detail in her home. Shoes in the kitchen, clothes on the coffee table, and missing photos from the wall all have him fearing the worse. “You said you had questions. Well? Ask them love.” His mother says, settling into the seat next to him, petting him once again. He pulls away from her much to her dismay. “You’ve grown cold Yoongi. Like your father.” “Are you off your meds?” Yoongi snaps. Alice walks in, removing the clothing from the coffee table to make room for tea. “Those pills make me crazy. They fog my brain. I’m better without them but to answer your question, no, I am not off them. It’s a condition of my release. I must take them. Alice here makes sure of that. Don’t you Alice?” Alice places the tea kettle and fixings on the coffee table. She pours Yoongi's mother tea but Yoongi shakes his head when offered. His phone begins buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out quickly and smirks at the messages from Y/N. “Girlfriend?” His mother begins rubbing his arm. Yoongi swallows hard and puts his phone away. “Yeah, something like that.” “What’s she like?” “Different, good different. I like her.” “That’s so great, angel. What’s her name?” Yoongi grows tired of the back and forth. “Ah! Why am I here mother? Why did you want to see me? Just tell me already.” Her face dropping, she turns away from Yoongi, sipping her tea obnoxiously.

“I lied to you earlier. Grandmother didn’t tell me about your fathers’ marriage. He did, himself. I spoke with your father. He says that you are going through a tough time. He says you’re angry, emotional. He says it’s my fault. I am so sorry for all that I’ve done Yoongi. You must understand how hard things were for me back then. I was sick. I didn’t know what was real or not. Your father hurt me, and I had to hurt him back. You were all that I had to use against him. I am so sorry for that. Your father thought it would be a good idea for me to give you closure. He only wishes to see you grow into the man I know you are capable of becoming.” Yoongi stands now, pacing back and forth, eyeing his mother suspiciously. “What did he offer you?” He spews. She laughs nervously. “Sit down angel. Your pacing is making me nervous.” “WHAT DID HE OFFER YOU?”  He shouts, his body shaking. “15,000 a month if I no longer contact you or see you. He is willing to take care of all my medical needs and the house needs so much work. Don’t you want your mother to be taken care of?” He scoffs. “So, 15,000? Is that all I’m worth? I suppose I shouldn’t be upset though mother, it’s more than the nothing you were originally willing to give my life for isn’t it? I’m not mad, I do want you to be taken care of because I hold more compassion than you or father ever will and he’s right, its time I came into my own. You shouldn’t contact me again, as far as I’m concerned, my mother died years ago.” He turns to walk away. “Yoongi wait,” Although he doesn’t want to, something pulls him to face her, “Don’t misunderstand that night. I was only trying to free you. If you truly care for that girl, leave her be, you’re no good. No matter how hard I tried, you’re rotten just like your father.” His mother’s normally soft features harden, and he can’t help but think about that day. That awful day, she had that same look as she grasped his neck tightly, holding his body underwater in the tub with her own, desperately trying to drown him.

Y/N:

“I want to thank you all for coming to celebrate my amazing father here tonight. Without him I would be nothing, so Daddy I hope your day was everything you imagined, and that tonight is the cherry on top. Yes, that means he’s still single ladies! Happy birthday Daddy! Cheers!” The crowd erupts into laughter and applause, sipping their drinks. You hug your father and he leans in to whisper into your ear, “My esteemed guest has arrived. I hear he is somewhere in the crowd. Go find Namjoon, I’m sure the two are rubbing elbows as we speak.” Your stomach flips suddenly at the thought of some blind date attending the party. You move through the crowd in search of Namjoon. “God this party is fabulous! I love being your friend, have I ever told you that?” Your BFF stops you in your tracks. “Have you seen Joon?” she shakes her head. “You look amazing in that dress girl! The girls are out tonight,” She laughs, “If only that Min boy could see you now. His loss.” She hands you a glass of champagne from a passing waiter that you immediately chug, still looking around for Namjoon. “Something is up, I have this feeling in my gut you know.” “You just need something stronger.” Your friend points out, dragging you to the makeshift bar. “Two double shots of whiskey neat please.” She tells the bartender. She hands one to you after tipping the gentlemen behind the bar. “Cheers!” She shouts before you both swallow your drinks in one hot wave. You breathe out quickly to keep from retching. “There he is!” You make note aloud, leaving your friend at the bar and making your way through the crowd toward the stairs to where you saw Namjoon standing at the banister, overlooking the party. By the time you make it up the stairs however, he’s walked off. “What the?” You say aloud.

“My God, Y/N, I think you are more stunning than the last time I saw you.” Your jaw drops as your ex-boyfriend Jimin approaches you. You scramble to find the words as he looks you up and down. Your skin gooses at the sight of him. He is still as gorgeous as you recall. He stands before you effortlessly handsome. Lips full, hair brushed back and parted, in an all-black suit. “Cat has your tongue huh. How have you been, Jagi? It's been so long since we last spoke or even saw each other. Imagine my surprise when your father called me and invited me to his huge birthday bash. You know I couldn’t resist seeing you right?” “Jimin, I, you can't be here. I don’t want you here.” He smiles wide at your duress. “Oh Jagi, but you're already so excited to see me.” He passes his fingertips along your spine, moving you closer to his body. “People are watching.” You raise your hand up to rest on his chest, keeping him at a distance. “You look so beautiful in this red dress Jagi, hugging every curve, did you wear it just for me?” You can't keep your body from responding to his advances as he rests his hand just above your plump ass. You swallow hard, breathing in his scent, realizing how close you are now. Your entire forearm resting on his chest now. “You hurt me Jimin. We will never, ever, be what we once were. I don’t know what Daddy told you but it's never going to happen. I’ve met someone else, someone more alluring, and honestly I really like him.” You whisper, oh so close to his lips now. He chuckles softly, licking his lips. “Just one kiss then. A sign of peace between us, closure if you will, a chance to seal what once was.” He whispers back, leaning in for the kill. Try as you may, you never could resist him. You hadn't met someone so entrancing until Yoongi and God what would he say if he could see you now? Wrapped in the arms of another man, tongue frantically swirling around his, hands tangled deep in the hairs on the nape of his neck. Could he ever forgive the sight? You know you should stop, rip away but instead you push further into the kiss, allowing him to knead your ass. When you both part you’re out of breath, staring longingly into each other's eyes. “I hope he treats you well Jagi. Better than I ever could. You deserve it.” Jimin trails his fingertips along your spine once again. “Sorry to interrupt,” Namjoon cuts in, placing his hand on your elbow, “We have a problem.”    

Min:

God she’s like heaven served up by the devil himself in that dress. Yoongi thinks to himself. He watches in awe as you confidently give your speech, offering your father away. He had hopped on a private jet back home and arrived with enough time to shower, change, and slip into your father’s birthday bash to surprise you. As he watches you walk off into the crowd, he decides to stalk you quietly, taken by your beauty. He smirks as you look around frantically and he wonders if you can feel his presence, if you could both be at all that connected. As you swallow down your drink at the bar, he follows your line of view to see Namjoon looking down over the crowd. He hums to himself, intrigued as to why you’re so excited to have spotted Namjoon at all. He watches you rush through the crowd and decides to intervene. ‘Miss me? Meet me downstairs by the bar.’ Yoongi watches as Namjoon checks his phone, looking over the crowd again and meeting his gaze. Yoongi waves as Namjoon’s turns and takes the back stairwell down to meet him.

“When did you wander in?” Namjoon asks as he approaches Yoongi. “During the speech. How’s my brat been?” Namjoon shakes his head with a chuckle. “I gotta say, I knew you two were gonna hit it off. There should be some sort of prize on my end for letting you have that room at the Lake house, but if I am being honest, she’s been fishing for information. She wants to know more about the enigmatic Min Yoongi.” “She should get in line with the rest of them.” Yoongi chuckles. “Yeah? Well, I gotta say you’ve surprised me. I didn’t think you’d ever tell her about your mother.” Yoongi shrugs. “I didn’t tell her much honestly. Just that she asked to see me. No big deal.” “Speaking of, how did it go?” Yoongi shakes his head, fiddling with a coaster at the bar. “Sorry to hear that bro. I know you were hoping to get some answers from her but I am sure….” Namjoon’s voice fades away, the sound of Yoongi’s pulse booming in his ears instead. His heart drops in his stomach as his blood runs cold. He lifts a finger in the air, pointing up at the spot where Namjoon once stood. “Who the fuck is that?” Yoongi spews. Namjoon turns around to look at where Yoongi is pointing, his eyes soon shooting open at the sight before him. He looks back to Yoongi who if at all possible, has turned paler, eyes sunken in with a look that could kill. “Um, I think that's Jimin, her uh, ex.” Yoongi’s head snaps quickly to meet Namjoon’s gaze. “Why on earth is she up there kissing her fucking ex?” “I don’t know but you gotta calm down ok. I know what you may think but they have been broken up for like 2 years or something. I’m sure there is an explanation.” Yoongi scoffs at the comment. “Oh, yes. I’m sure she just tripped and he caught her with his lips. Get out of my way.” Yoongi pushes past Namjoon now. “Wait,” Namjoon grasp Yoongi by his coat, causing Yoongi to grip Namjoon by the arms tightly, “Let me talk to her first ok. Maybe you and her can go someplace quiet so as not to cause a scene. It IS her father’s birthday after all.” Yoongi grunts angrily at the ground before releasing Namjoon. “Fine. Go.” Namjoon hurries off, leaving Yoongi's head spinning a million miles a minute.

Y/N:

“What? What’s wrong?” You stare at Namjoon, who looks frantic. “It’s good to see you too Namjoon.” “You shouldn’t be here, scum.” Namjoon snips. “I was invited,” Jimin scoffs, looking over to you, “Jagi, call me anytime. I am always available to you, but it seems I am not wanted. I guess I should be leaving now.” Jimin leans in and kisses you on the cheek before turning towards Namjoon. “It really is good to see you Namjoon. Be well.” “I’m sorry but I don’t share the same sentiment.” Namjoon responds, hardening his face. Jimin nods and walks off. “Joon, that was not what you think ok? I can explain. He just wanted…” “Maybe it’s not what I think but I have to say my piece. What exactly are you playing at? He cheated on you, broke your heart, and left you in shambles. Yet here you are like putty in his hands, giving him everything he wants, ready to serve up the same thing he did to you to Yoongi and I know that Yoongi isn't perfect but he means well and deep down he’s a great guy, better than Jimin ever was to you.” Your heart seizes at Namjoon’s words. “Well, we don’t have to tell Yoongi right now ok? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him right? I know he’s your friend but so am I and I just need time to process everything and then I can talk to him about this. Just give me some time that’s all I ask.” “I’m sorry Y/N but your time is up.” You gulp at his comment. “Joon.” You plead as he steps to the side, still holding your elbow. Your jaw drops and heart races as you look over towards the seating area and see a familiar pale face staring back at you through his laced fingers. “Yoongi. How?” You whisper. “He was trying to surprise you. I suppose the jokes on him huh. Like I said, we have a problem.”

MIN:

Her shocked face says it all. She didn’t feel me here at all. There is no connection. I am the fool, as always. She thought she could get away with it. Yoongi’s mind races, all his insecurities flooding his psyche. She begins to approach him, taking a seat beside him. “We should talk. I know you think you know what you saw but there is so much to unpack there. I had no clue you were here, why didn’t you tell me?” “Would it have made a difference, if you knew or not? Would you have avoided the kiss all together just for my sake?” Yoongi turns to face her now. “Found an empty lounge room. I guess it's for the staff but if you guys need a few minutes to talk, there’s no one in there.” Namjoon informs. Yoongi stands and watches as Y/N gets up as well, turning to follow Namjoon. He can’t help but watch the sway in her hips, angered by the twitch in his dick caused by her skin-tight dress. “Here we are.” Namjoon says as you all reach the destination. Namjoon opens the door, allowing for Y/N and Yoongi to walk in. Yoongi nods at Namjoon and closes the door behind him, sure to lock it. As Yoongi turns, Y/N slides her body up against his. “Please don’t be mad at me baby. It meant nothing to me. He means nothing to me. It was nonsense, closure. You’re the only one for me and I even told him that. You’re all I need.” Yoongi looks over her pleading face, fighting with himself on what to believe. “I can make everything better. Make it up to you. You know I would never hurt you.” Yoongi closes his eyes tightly at her words, swallowing hard as she rubs his growing erection. He hates how his body responds to her. “Are you angry? Please, say something. What are you thinking? Do you want to spank me? Is that it?” Yoongi’s eyes pop open at her question. His body tightening to her ask. He did want to punish her, hear her desperate cries as he turns the flesh of her ass red. Make her swallow his cock down completely just so he can watch the tears swell in her eyes as she gags, drooling on his balls. Deny her every pleasure, allowing only himself the chance to feel it all. She moves in and places her soft lips against his and all he can picture in his head was her in the arms of another man. As she tries to deepen the kiss, anger ignites inside him and he can’t help but shove her back. “On your knees, Brat!” He commands. ‘Fuck the light, fuck trying to be good, where has it gotten me,’ Yoongi thinks to himself, ‘Tonight, she meets the real me.’

Y/N:

“No!” You shout defiantly. You won’t give into Yoongi’s behavior tonight. Normally you would have no trouble doing exactly as he commanded, reveling in his every explicit desire. It always turned you on, how well he tamed you, how in tune he was with your body, but lately something changed in him and he was softer, more romantic, something you had grown to love as well. You wouldn’t give in without a fight or at the very least having explained the situation fully. Yoongi didn’t respond to your defiance, instead he opts to lean against the door and watch you. “I know I fucked up ok. I should have never even allowed Jimin to touch me, let alone kiss me. I swear though, I told him about us. I told him that I really like you Yoongi and I do.” “I’m going to fuck his name right out of your mouth.” You swallow hard at his response, squeezing your thighs together at the feeling of your cunt clench around nothing. “I, I wanted you here with me. Daddy was upset, he called him because he thought that, that…” Your resolve is failing you as you scramble to find your train of thought. “That his whore of a daughter needed to be chock full of someone, anyone’s cock?” Your eyes pop open and you run towards Yoongi, slamming your fist into his chest. “Don’t talk about daddy like that. You know nothing about him.” “I know that I’m the only one you’ll be calling daddy here tonight, brat!” You shove him away from you. “I know you’re angry Yoongi. You have every right to be but please don’t shut me out. I want to be more to you than just some random girl you fuck.” Yoongi chuckles, walking over to you. He slides his fingertips along your jawline. “I wanted that too, but you ruined everything.” “Don’t say that. It was one slip up. It meant nothing. I’m sorry ok.” He nods running his fingertips down your neck and along your exposed cleavage. He takes the tiny red strap of your dress between his fingertips and twirls it before yanking it hard, snapping the fragile fabric. “Such a gorgeous little slut. Tell me, are you going to be a good girl and take everything I give you?” You moan softly, biting your lip, trying not to fall for his wicked charm. “Yoongi, please.”

He hums, drunk on the sound of you begging. He takes you by the waist, squeezing your hips before pulling you into his massive erection. “I promise I’ll be good, if you promise to forgive me.” You grind against him now. “My gorgeous little brat, you forget who’s in control here.” He spins you around quickly, his hands trailing along your breast and down your torso. You know what he needs, how to take control. You press your backside into him and yank up your skirt, before dropping onto your knees on a loveseat in the lounge. He groans from deep within his chest at the sight of you. “Do it. I know you want to.” You urge, crying out as he wastes no time slapping you hard across the ass. “Better keep it down brat, we wouldn’t want daddy to hear, now would we?” He teases, slapping you once again this time harder. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip to keep from screaming. Yoongi plants two more heavy palms on your exposed ass, panting heavily with lust each time. Your backside burns against the cool air, but you don’t care you know he needs this; this is how he speaks; this is how he expresses his emotions. “More!” You shout, egging him on, showing him that you could speak his language. You needed him to know that you needed this too and that you could be each other’s escape, if only he would let you in. He yanks your thong down, cupping your drenched sex. “I said more!” You hear him scoff right before he brings his large hand to meet your exposed cunt. The slap creating an illicit sound against your wet lips. It sends shock waves through you. “Fuck!” You yelp whilst Yoongi proceeds to spread your lips open and tease your swollen bud with two fingers. You mewl and grind against him. “God, feels so good. You always know what to do.” You praise just as Yoongi quickly winds back and slaps your cunt once more causing a sharp zap of electricity to shoot through your needy clit. You jump forward at the new feeling, Yoongi grasping your hips and pulling you back onto your knees. He begins once again to tease your clit, uses your juices to rub small circles around it. You hitch your hips back at the feeling, needing more. “More please. I need you inside me.” Yoongi obliges by sliding one measly finger into your soaked cunt. You clench desperately, “Stop teasing.” You plead. “Such a greedy cunt. Look how she gobbles at my finger. So wet, so sweet, begging for more.” Yoongi mocks. He adds another finger and you growl with pleasure at the feeling. You raise your hand up and begin to rub your neglected clit as Yoongi fingers you roughly. “Fuck! I’m so close.” You cry out. “That’s enough.” Yoongi yanks his fingers from inside you, instead slapping your hard once more on the ass. “You fuck!” You cry out. “You don’t cum until I say you do brat.” Yoongi groans, licking a long trail from your clit to your taint before slapping you once more upon your exposed cunt. You cry out once more not sure of how much more you can take. “Yoongi, my God, please. I need you.” You beg him. Yoongi gently rubs his palms over your burning ass and you wince in pain. You wait to see if he'll plant kisses along your backside like normal but instead, he squeezes your cheeks tightly causing you to yelp in pain. He hums in delight before planting himself on the couch, allowing you take in the sight of his cock pressing firmly against his zipper, begging to be freed. He bites his lip seductively watching you yearn over him. “Not until you come suck daddy’s cock.”

MIN:

She’s never looked so fucking needy and desperate to please me. Yoongi thinks to himself as she drops to her knees before him. She licks her lips in anticipation as she unbuttons his pants, freeing his aching cock from its restraint. She slowly strokes him, using his pre-cum to ease the passing of her soft hands along his shaft. He watches her with lust filled eyes as she bites her lip, twisting and twirling her fist around his cock. “Spit on it.” He demands. She swallows nervously making Yoongi smile. He wonders if this is the first time someone has asked her to do this. No matter to him, he was willing to work with her, push her past her limits, tame the needy brat inside her. He passes his thumb gently across her bottom lip before shoving his index and middle finger into the back of her throat causing her to gag. “Good girl. Now, spit on it.” She leans forward and allows her drool to accumulate at her lips before dropping a glob of spit on his reddened tip. Yoongi sucks in a deep breath as he watches her drool make its way down his shaft. He yanks her tits free, sliding down on the couch, he nestles his cock between them. He presses the soft flesh tightly against his throbbing member as he hitches his hips upward, fucking her full breasts. She places her hands over his, mouth opened, watching him through her lashes.

“Does my little slut like it when I fuck her tits?” “Yes.” “Yes, what?” “Yes, sir.” “Tsk, tsk. Not tonight I’m not.” Yoongi grasp her by her hair and yanks her head back licking unabashedly at her neck while tugging at her pointed nipple, eliciting a deep dark moan to escape her. “Yes, what?” “Yes, daddy.” Yoongi smiles against her neck, pulling her head down to meet his drooling cock. “Open wide for me baby.” She does exactly as she's told and Yoongi rewards her with a slow entrance into her mouth rather than the hard one he had planned. He allows her to relax her throat as he finds purchase there, holding her in place by her hair, as his cock throbs against her quaking esophagus. He rolls his head back at the feeling. He looks back down at her as she digs her nails into his thighs. He wonders if he should let her up for air or if she could hold on for a bit longer. She whines slightly and he presses into her further before pulling her up to his tip. She gasps for air and he groans at the sight of her all teary eyed, drool string from her lips to his cock, out of breath. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.” He tells her. “I’m so wet for you daddy. I want you so bad.” He smirks at her response. “Almost, baby, almost.” He hints, running his tip along her lips. She nods opening her mouth. She slides her tongue along the underside of his head, wrapping her lips around the tip fully she suckles at the mushroomed top, working one hand along his shaft and the other massaging his balls. Yoongi moans aloud feeling his body tense as his climax builds. If she keeps this up, he’s going to cum a lot faster than he intends to.

Y/N:

Yoongi abruptly stops you just as you are intensely working his cock. “Up.” He commands. You stand immediately, watching as Yoongi get on his feet, and pushes you onto your knees once more on the couch. He leans in and takes your ear lobe in his mouth, nibbling and tugging at it. “Do you love him?” He asks out of nowhere. “What?” He ignores you and begins kissing down your neck, biting at the sensitive flesh. “Did he kiss you like this?” He grips your hips, trailing his kisses down your back. “Yoongi, don’t do that. You're the only one I want.” You try to reassure him. “Prove it,” He moans, grabbing your sore ass and spreading your cheeks apart. He lands a slap on your already tormented rear end, “Beg me to fuck you. Make it convincing.” “Yoongi....” You start but your protest is only met with another whack across the bum. Your wanting pussy coming alive once again. “Daddy, please won't you fuck me?” You twirl your hips up at him. “No.” He slaps you hard across the ass once more, your juices flowing past your lips. “Fuck! Please, please, fuck me.” “Hmmm. Better, you're getting warmer.” He rubs his fingers along your slit, slapping down against your moistened mound. “Ah! Fuck me Min ok, stop playing games. I’m over this. Just please. I need release.” “Brattier.” He mulls, sticking two fingers deep inside you, igniting your nerve endings. You grip the couch now to keep from wailing at the feeling. “God, Please, it's not enough. I need your cock. Only yours will do. No one fucks like you. Please.” “Good girl.” He praises, shoving the whole of his cock deep within you. Your gasp caught in your throat. Yoongi takes the opportunity to shove his sticky fingers into your gaping mouth and excitedly you clamp down on them, sucking your juices from each one.

He drops his hand from your mouth to your throat, grasping tightly as he begins to drill his cock into you over and over. His moans grow hoarse and more animal like with each thrust as you feel your core burn with your rising climax. “Don't....you...cum!” He growls into your ear, keeping his tortuous pace, your pussy clenching and releasing with burning pleasure. You feel his grip get tighter around your neck as the air begins to restrict, “Yoongi”, You tap his hand to try and warn him of your oncoming climax. You don’t think you can hold on much longer. You vision becomes blurry as Yoongi cries out into the room, his release hitting him like a bus, he unloads his massive seed into you. You tap his hand once more, as you feel his seed create a heavenly slickness as it spills out of you. Yoongi tightens down on your neck once again and immediately releases, dropping his hand to attack your swollen clit as you take your first deep breath. Your body quakes in a way you’ve never felt before as your coil snaps at an unprecedented rate. You screech out, as you squirt your climax all over Yoongi’s balls. Yoongi continues to rub small circles along your bud whilst slowly thrusting in and out of you until you beg him to stop, the feelings of overstimulation too much to bear. Yoongi pulls his now softening member from inside you and you both begin to dress in silence. He hands you a few paper towels from inside the lounges bathroom and you happily take them, cleaning up the mess between your thighs. Yoongi looks down at his crotch, knowing no amount of scrubbing will fix the damage done to his suit pants so he opts to just untuck his dress shirt. “I guess ruining your suits is becoming a habit of mine.” You smile. He doesn’t respond. You walk over to him, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “Yoongi I am so sorry about tonight with Ji-, my ex. I know what I did isn't excusable but please know if I could take it back I would. I, God, I’m falling for you. I love you.” You painfully admit. Yoongi winces at your confession, causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t say things you couldn’t possibly understand the meaning of. I don’t take those words lightly and you shouldn't either. I’ve never said those words to anyone, and I don’t think I'll be starting now.” He smooths out his shirt of its wrinkles and you try hard to swallow down the lump in your throat, tears prickling at your eyes. “Yoongi, please, things have been so good.” He nods. “They have been and all it takes is one moment to fuck it all up.” He waves his hands up in defeat. You stop trying and just let your tears fall, hoping they will sway him, chip away at his cold exterior.

MIN:

It kills Yoongi to see her standing before him crying, her mascara running. She looks spent, defeated, lip quivering. It broke his heart to hear her utter the words I love you. He lied when he said he has never told anyone those words. He’s told his mother but what was that for, she only ever loved herself. Deep down inside he knew that he loved this woman before him. She wasn’t just some girl he fucked. His emotions for her ran deep. Their connection immediate, from the moment he saw her face bathed in sunlight on the terrace of Namjoon’s Lake house, he knew he had to have her all to himself. Namjoon warned him of her, that she was breath taking, “A rollercoaster.” was his exact description and he couldn’t have been more accurate. She had made him feel things he hadn't felt in a long time but tonight she made him feel something that he felt every day of his life, betrayal, and that he couldn't have. So, as much as it pained him to shut her out, he had to pull his guard up, his wall was the only thing that truly kept him from breaking. Even as she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest, he stood stern in decision. “I’m sorry but I don’t love you.” He whispered, watching her heart break before him, as he wiped away her tears. “Open it!” You both hear from the other side of the door right before it swings open. “What the hell is going on here? Who are you and why they hell are touching my daughter?” Y/N clings to Yoongi’s side. He’s almost proud to have been caught, the thought of her father setting her up with another man causing his anger to surge. “Daddy! Wait, let me explain. This is...” “I don’t give a shit who it is! I am told to investigate the sounds of screaming and what do I find? My daughter in the arms of this heathen? You dishonor me Y/N! Get over here, now!” For a moment Yoongi tugs at you, keeping you at his side, wanting to protect you from your fathers wrath. He knew all too well what you were feeling. “Its not her fault sir.” “Shut up snail! You’re unworthy of my attention nor that of my daughters.” “Daddy stop it.” She defies. “I understand sir. Good thing I’m already done with her.” Yoongi watches as both Y/N and her fathers face drop. He smirks, unbothered, making sure to shove his shoulder into her fathers on the way out of the room. “Wait, Yoongi!” She calls to him but he doesn’t turn around, this time choosing to hold onto the upper hand.