#that said I imagine Sara getting taught by her dad

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

When thinking about young Milo, I've gotten in the habit of thinking about Murphy's Law in opposition to the capacity to handle Murphy's Law.

So as long as the capacity to handle it is greater than the law, you're golden. The problem comes in when the law is greater than the capacity to handle it (see Orgaluth's Law with no one helping). Obviously both can vary, Murphy's Law is shown to be lighter and heavier at times and clearly people can get worn out. But it got me wondering about the kinds of situations that could have arose before Milo was old enough to take care of himself.

Generally as kids grow up they become capable of looking after themselves. But Murphy's law would definitely make that progression more complicated since even most adults aren't shown to be capable of dealing with it. Just because you trust someone to babysit a 6 year old doesn't mean you trust them with a more needy newborn so its not like Murphy's Law adds a novel concept to childcare of more capable children need less capable caretakers, but it still makes me wonder about logistics of raising kids with Murphy's Law before they are capable of handling their own condition.

We see it a little bit with Veronica, who is very capable of handling Murphy's Law, but doesn't have it. But baby Milo probably wasn't capable of handling Murphy's Law. So he depended on people taking care of it for him until he grew old enough to take care of himself.

But we also know that Murphy's law tends to get more intense with more Murphy's around. I wonder about how much Martin took care of baby Milo by himself, could he handle double dose Murphy's Law on his own? I mean I wouldn't doubt it, but maybe it depended on the circumstances. All babies are a lot even without Murphy's Law and breaks are important. I'm sure that was even more important for Milo. Was it worse for Martin looking after Milo solo because he also had EHML and it was a lot of Murphy's Law to be handling by himself, or did he handle it better than Brigette because he was used to it even if it was more intense? We know baby Milo's Murphy's Law was at least strong enough to cause walls to randomly collapse. I say this because as of the time of the show there are no dependent Murphy's, they're all capable of handling EHML mostly on their own so we never see them having to handle double doses of it on their own so to speak. We know Veronica babysat, but that probably wasn't until Milo was at least a few months old so did the other Murphy's help out when Milo was a newborn?

But then where did baby Sara fall in this spectrum. We already see 3 or 4 year old Sara being helpful with Murphy's Law stuff when Milo was born. To what extent growing up was Sara more a help or a hindrance. Obviously Sara and Milo would have family on there moms side who was less used to Murphy's Law. Did Milo ever spend time with family on that side without his parents. Was it a matter of "oh Grandma can watch Milo, Sara's with him" or "Grandma can watch Milo, since Sara's coming with us".

It's suggested that Milo never went to preschool or kindergarten (probably for obvious reasons), and he had his backpack by the time he did (so around the time Veronica stopped babysitting for him). So I think its fair to say 1st grade was probably around the time when Milo started being able to take care of his Murphy's Law on his own (though in First Impressions they still got a bit of help from Cavendish and Dakota, that doesn't mean too much since Milo still gets help from people at times and always will. Everyone needs help sometimes).

Obviously Milo learning to handle Murphy's Law was a gradual process, so there would be a period of time in which Milo couldn't handle Murphy's Law quite on his own yet but he could with some help. We did see him starting to help Veronica out as he got older in his flashback Secrets and Pie's.

Obviously handling Murphy's law is a lot, but being around Murphy's Law you learn to handle it better. And like it is a physically intensive condition to deal with. Have to develop a fair degree of endurance and strength to deal with it (comments are made on Milo's backpacks weight and we see the kids do a lot of running and hanging on for dear life). Obviously as a Murphy boy grows up they learn to handle it. But that doesn't mean they are the only ones. In now I am a Murphy we have Grandma Murphy who is shown to be extremely capable of handling disasters. Which makes sense for someone who has two sons and a husband with EHML. And we see in athledecamathalon that all of Milo's classmates, by proximity to him, are pretty used to dealing with disasters and are pretty tough all things considered.

Actually what this all boils down to is me asking what is Sara capable of as someone who has spent her life getting used to Murphy's Law but isn't held back by it.

I mean obviously the answer is the patience to make cosplay and store merch in a house with her father and brother but honestly that is so funny to me. Also the girl has two moods "this mortal peril is barely an inconvenience" and "the idea of this relatively inconsequential thing going wrong is the worst possible thing I can imagine and I'm going to put 1000% of my energy into freaking out trying to prevent/fix this". And of then usually she has them at the same time.

I think that dichotomy would be pretty funny from an outside perspective as like a college student who does not have the context of Murphy's Law. What do you mean she had a backup hazmat suit why does she have one to begin with, and how did she finish a paper on her phone while sheltering from extreme weather while loud sirens went off while complaining about the page count. Some idiot lit the microwave on fire in the commons and she put it out without even glancing up from her tv show and was screaming in excitement about the twist. She spent 3 hours freaking out searching across town when she couldn't find the glue she needed to finish her costume and almost got into an accident with a semi but managed to avoid getting hit and then moved on without even hesitating.

Also can you IMAGINE the trouble the Murphy cousins must have gotten into when Milo was small. With or without Milo. I bet Sara and Nate have some stories. Their own Llama incidents if you will. I can see someone asking Sara about her favorite Murphy's law story and it turns out to be a story that not even Milo knows. Sara and Nate floating in the ocean on driftwood surrounded by orcas after a family get together by the ocean went wrong. Sara and Nate with a toddler Milo covered in ice cream and bees and running away from a giant ball of mud that fell from the sky while they were trying to play at the park. Just the idea of three Murphy's hanging out when they are all all children and two of them have Murphy's Law, and between the three of them they can barely handle the two doses of Murphy's Law but their getting there.

[sims4royalsandimperials]

Olde Towne Windenburg Chapel, Windenburg, Lunaria - 9:21am

Whitney: What time did you get the call from Mama on Wednesday? Melaura: About Aunt Shirley? Whitney: Yeah. Melaura: Around 7:00am our time. I was just about to head out to the office when I got the call. After that, I couldn’t stop crying. Whitney: Me neither. Joseph wanted to call the other patients, Martina and Branson, but he couldn’t get a hold of them. Apparently, Martina moved her family out of Lunaria, and Branson was apparently busy. They would have come if they could. How’s Mama holding up?

Melaura: She’s devastated. She and Papa stayed with Gordon and Claire at the facility after bringing Shirley to the funeral home. From what I understand in the conversation, Uncle Arden was en route to come visit, but he was too late. Aunt Shirley considered him the little brother they never had.

Arden: I can’t believe Shirley’s gone. It’s like losing an older sister. Eric: I’m just glad our girls spent a lot of time with her. Shirley was a superb infulence on my daughters.  Arden: I can’t imagine how hard Eloise and Gordon are taking it.

Eric: Our nephew is... trying to put the pieces back together. It’s overwhelming enough for him to take on his mother’s legacy, but for him to go on without her? I cannot comprehend the stress he has to undertake, now.

10:00am

Archbishop: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the life Shirley Yvette Kensley Thompson. Beloved mother to Gordon and Monica, Grandmother to Riley, Keith, Ashlyn, Sara, and Daniel, Sister to Eloise and Katrina, and Aunt to various nieces and nephews.  A woman who brought Lunarians together in their time of need, helping those who had hit rock bottom in life.

Hanley Cemetery - 11:30am

Katrina: Sunny Gupta once said: “A sister is our first friend and second mother.” If that’s the case, then this was true of Shirley. She was mine and Eloise’s first friend and second mother, and nurtured us whenever our parents were unable. She, who was the light of so many lives here at home, made certain neither myself, nor Eloise, or our brothers, were left out of anything, and with the time we had with her, we savored it. 

Katrina: Shirley taught us all to never doubt ourselves. This was exampled by my initial reluctance to marry Eric. *short laughter* She said to me, “Reena, Eric has shown Mom and Dad, and I that he has your best interests at heart. Have no doubt that you two will live a fruitful and everlasting life.” And to this day, these words still resonate within me. And she was right. Thirty-eight years and four daughters later, I am still reminded to have no doubts for what the future holds.

Katrina: Her actions and philanthropy for the Kingdom of Lunaria and abroad have inspired my family to be more caring, generous, and if not for her gentleness and kindness, people would not have known what to do, should they fall from their absolute apex. She was there to help, and get people back on their feet. 

Katrina: The lesson she would have wanted us to learn, as individuals... regardless of status or occupation...

Katrina: ...Is that if you are struggling in life, do not be afraid to get some help, and vice versa. 

Katrina: Shirley would want us to continue living on, with the things she taught all of us over the years. I would like to end this by saying thank you to the Watcher for the mercy you’ve shown my sister in life and death. Without her, we wouldn’t be where we are today...

Katrina: ... Eloise and I wouldn’t have reconciled had it not been for her, Gordon wouldn’t have had the influence of his mother that he still does today and everyday, and I wouldn’t have had an amazing friend such as Arden, or my incredible husband, and my wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Thank you, Shirley, for everything. We love you, and we’ll all miss you dearly. 

________________________________________________________________

@simsroyallegacy​

[korra-the-red-lion]

Lonely.

I will forever be salty that LoT doesn’t let Sara explore her grief a bit more, it seems. Anyway, enjoy some angst with a happy ending!

---

Sara put down the make-up brush and stared at herself in the mirror. It wasn’t a lot, but she felt confident in what she did for herself. Lightly, she put on the finishes touches to her lips and was ready for the big event.

In just a few short hours she’d be marrying the love of her life.

But why did her heart feel so heavy? Shouldn’t she be overjoyed that she was marrying Ava? But it only took one quick glance to the photo sitting her in locket to remind her why she felt this way. Laurel and Oliver smiled up at her, their faces alive and happy. Sara picked up the locket, holding it gently in her hand. At least Oliver got to marry the life of his life, Laurel never even got that chance. Both men she loved were tragically ripped away from her, before her own life was as well.

Although Laurel told her it was the right decision, Sara couldn’t help but still feel guilty that she didn’t use the Loom of Fate to bring her back. Why did someone like her get so many chances at life yet her sister didn’t? It was a cruel thing, fate was. Sara would have gladly given one of her several returns to life in exchange for Laurel to be here on her wedding day.

And Oliver too, who would never see his daughter grow old. How was it fair that someone who gave so much and rarely asked for anything in return was not allowed this once in a lifetime opportunity. At least Mia had Felicity, who was one tough cookie. It just felt like some cosmic joke to her. Oliver wasn’t perfect, but he deserved to grow old with his wife and children.

Sara blew a frustrated breath through pursed lips. She needed to stop thinking about this. About them. Today was supposed to be about her happiness, her love. About her and Ava finally retiring from saving the universe and enjoying life. It wasn’t an easy decision for them to make, especially for her. Sara had been fighting since she was teenager. What would the domestic life feel like? Going for walks with having to watch your back? Talking about that silly thing the neighbours did with Ava? Sara honestly couldn’t even picture it in her mind.

There was a knock at her door, startling from her thoughts. Sara put on a brave face and called out, “Come in!”

Nyssa walked into the room with a smile adorning her face. Sara smiled back, but Nyssa was not fooled. She had known Sara for a very long time and knew when she was hiding her feelings. Nyssa closed the door softly before turning to face her former love.

“What is wrong, Beloved?”

Sara smiled softly at the familiar expression. “It’s nothing, really. Just got thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“How much I miss them,” she said, looking down at the locket again.

Nyssa nodded in understanding as she came to sit next to Sara. “I miss them as well. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

Sara clutched the locket, holding it to her heart. “I wish they could be here to see this. I want to let them know that I only got this far because of their support. Especially Laurel’s…” the tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

“Sara…” Nyssa reached for her hand, squeezing it in comfort. “They may not be here physically, but I know Oliver and your sister. They’re watching from wherever they are currently. They would be so happy for you, so happy that you found the love they wished for you. Do you understand that?”

“I do,” said Sara with a small voice, “but that doesn’t make me miss them any less.”

Nyssa hugged Sara tightly. All she could hope was that Sara could feel her emotions through the hug. That it was okay to grief those you’ve lost, you just cannot let it consume you. Sara hugged back just as tightly, wondering when the emptiness in her heart would finally feel a little more whole.

Another knock at the door broke the pair apart. Ray stuck his head into the room, his smile instantly dropping when he saw Sara. He wasted no time in walking across the floor and scooping the tiny assassin into a bear hug.

“I have no idea what’s upsetting you, Sara, but I’m not going to let it ruin your wedding day,” he said firmly.

“Ray…”

Ray put Sara onto the floor before getting to work straightening out her wedding dress. “Sara, I’ve known you for a very long time. Heck, I think you’re my oldest friend at this point. You were there for me when Nora and I tied the knot. We were there for each other through all the hardships that we’ve face. I would never let you do this alone.” Ray stepped back to make sure there wasn’t a single wrinkle left. With a satisfied nod, Ray placed a gentle hand on Sara’s shoulder.

“You deserve happiness and peace, Sara Lance,” said Ray with watery eyes. “I believe that more than anything else in the world.”

Sara swallowed thickly while blinking out tears. “Thank you…” She fanned at her laugh with a wet laugh. “Oh God, my make-up. Ava is going to freak out if I don’t get a move on things.”

“I believe I can help with that,” said Nyssa with a smirk. She held up the eye make-up with a fire in her eyes. “I am quite good with my hands, after all.”

Sara burst out into laughter while Ray looked pleasantly confused. Together, Ray and Nyssa got Sara ready to walk down the aisle.

XXX

Quentin looked like he was trying his hardest not to cry as he walked his daughter down the aisle. Sara squeezed his arm tightly as they did, trying to keep her raging emotions in check.

“I’m so happy for you, baby,” he said in a choked whisper.

“Thanks, dad.” Sara sniffled slightly. “I’m really happy too.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek as he left her at the alter. He joined his wife in the front row. Sara took in the crowd. Jax and his wife were here with their kids. Thea and Roy were in the crowd chatting quietly to Dinah. Sara couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow when she noticed that Dinah had her pinkie finger linked with Laurel 2.0. That was unexpected. Barry and Iris were sitting next to Kara, Alex, Lena, and Kelly. Ray waved to her, his arm linked with a very happy looking Nora, who was also waving. Mona was seated next to Gary, who was already ugly crying. Nate was on Ray’s right side, and he was beaming up at Sara, Zari holding his free hand. Charlie was with her band, providing the music for the wedding. Amaya came from the past to also watch her former captain and friend tie the knot. She was seated next to the Hawks, which they had been hard to track down, but Kendra had been Sara’s first friend aboard the Waverider, and there was no way she was going to miss this for the world. Nyssa sat with Sin, who was looking so much older than Sara last remembered.

All her friends and family were here, and it was a wonderful sight to see.

Charlie looked up towards the doorway and motioned to her band to start playing the music. Sara’s heart was beating like crazy with anticipation as the doors swung open.

Ava walked out from behind the curtains. Her smile was wide and there were already tears in her eyes as she walked towards Sara. Her dress was nothing fancy, but that’s exactly what suited her best. Mick was walking her down the aisle. They had an unlikely friendship, but Ava had helped Mick with so many things in his life, he felt it only fair to return a favour. There were tears in his eyes as he helped her up the steps. He gave Sara a quick nod before clomping back down to take his seat next to Spooner, who was sitting with Astra and Behrad.

“Alright,” said Diggle with a clearing of his throat. “Sara and Ava both asked that this not be fancy. Sara said to me, ‘I already have enough drama in my life, I don’t need it at my wedding too,’ and I couldn’t agree more.”

This drew laughs from the crowd.

“So, Sara, do you have anything you want to say to Ava?” asked Diggle.

Sara nodded quickly. “Ava, I just want to say that you’ve made me the happiest girl in the world. You just get me, and that is so important. We’ve had our rough patches, but we always got through them together. You’ve been with me through thick and thin. I love you so much that it makes me lie awake at night thinking about it. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” She smiled brightly, ignoring the tears that flowed freely down her face now.

“Ava, do you have anything you want to say to Sara?”

“Yes.” Ava took a deep shaky breath. Sara could feel the tremors in her hands as she spoke. “I hated you the first time I saw you.” Everyone laughed at that, including Sara and Ava. “But you slowly broke down my walls and taught me how to really live. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would still be working for Rip, without ever realizing the person I could have been. You helped me because the best version of me, because that’s what’s being a person is all about. Helping each other grow. I hope that we can continue to do just that, because you’ll be spending every moment with me, and I can’t wait.”

Diggle smiled at the two of them before saying. “Okay, well, go ahead then!”

Sara dipped Ava and gave her the most passionate kiss she could muster. It would take some time, but she was hopeful that Ava would help her fill the hole in her heart. She already had, in some way. Because Sara knew that this right here meant that she was no longer lonely. She would always grieve the death of her Laurel, her wonderful and beautiful sister, and her best friend in Oliver. But she also knew that Ava would always be there for her, every step of the way.

And she was ready to see where that path led.

[silenthearts]

I saw your post about wanting to incorporate more black females within writing so I was wondering if you could write something with Joel having a Black wife? And potentially some kids with her and how that would go? Though only if you’re comfortable doing that! As a Black girl myself, I would love to see how others write us ❤️ Thanks for the consideration!

Of course lovely! This is a very short blurb but I hope you like it! Also thank you for being my first request, means a lot 😭✨❤️

A father's heart always worries - a Joel Miller blurb

"Good Boy Callus" Joel mutters as he lovingly strokes his horse's back and slowly closes the stable door. Joel sighs, his feet causing a cloud of dust to form around him as he walks towards his front porch. The tiring day weighing on his shoulders. It had been a long day, a day of hunting and patrolling as well as worrying about Ellie.

Although life for Ellie and himself had had a turn, the worry about her wellbeing and teenage antics made his heart heavy, he knew he had to let go a bit more, let her do her thing, not worry so much, not overstep but his overprotectiveness didn't allow him to do so.

The sky above Jackson showed the pink and orange tones as the spring slowly turned into summer, the air felt lighter and the pollen in the air reminded him of spring walks near his home in Texas before the infected.

The nostalgia made his heart beat faster and tightened to the thought of the long hikes he would take Sara and their dog on.He sighed at his memories. Finally he made it to his front porch, his steps weighing on the old wooden planks.

As he approached the door, giggles and music echoed and filled his ears with delight, suddenly the hardships of the day and the longing memories seemed to have evaporated from his mind.

He smiled as he pushed the door open in anticipation to see his family.

"DADDY!!" A joyous scream was heard across the room as Joel's eyes met his 3 year old son's whilst he ran at speed towards his dad.

"Hey buddy!" Joel exclaimed as he lifted the boy off the ground with ease giving his chubby cheeks a big smooch making the little boy giggle loudly.

"Well well well, look who finally decided to show up!" Both Joel's and Caden's attention belonged to his wife Sofia as she finished cleaning a dirty plate from Caden's afternoon snack. She leaned against the kitchen's doorway, her curly hair and dark skin contrasting perfectly against the sunset rays that travelled through the kitchen windows behind her. His family was his favourite part about getting home, about finishing his day and going through the hardships of surviving in his patrols.

Joel smiled as he approached his wife. He kissed Sofia's soft lips, both of them missing each other terribly from the long drawn out day.

"How was your day?" She whispered into his mouth , a tired smile appearing across her lips. Caden played with Joel's shirt collar as he shrugged to his wife in response.

"The usual" his gravelly voice was a sign of tiredness and Sofia knew so, and although for the moment she was taking care of Caden and kitchen duty at the local "pub" her life wasn't any easier. However, she knew the patrols were hard and long. Minutes often turned into hours that turned into days, sometimes both Joel and Ellie would not be home for supper which always left her awake sitting on the couch waiting for her family to come home to her safe and sound.

“Yours?” He asked, Caden’s little feet touch the ground as his dad lowers him so he can get himself a drink.

“Okay, I guess. Ellie arrived earlier than you today, almost got a bit worried" Sofia made her way back to dishes left over on the sink as joel leaned against the kitchen counter, his broad shoulders scrunched up and arms crossed across his chest. He hummed at Sofia's statement about Ellie, he pretended he wasn't dying to ask where she was now,if she said anything, is she with her friend or alone? Questions and more questions came to his head and yet he didn't utter a single word, he knew Ellie was now 16, she was basically an adult. Unfortunately, a dad's heart always worries.

"Joel, she's fine. She's with Dina and Jesse. They said something about a bonfire, she took her guitar. They're okay… " Sofia said as she scrubbed the last plate clean. She turned to Joel who still stood by her side, his lip in-between his teeth, and his eyes focused on the wooden floors beneath their feet.

"She's okay" Sofia trailed off , this time her husband's gaze met hers and both smiled. "You always know what to say" he said softly, his arms wrapping around her smaller figure. He rested his chin on her head, her curls tickling his face slightly.

"You worry too much… I can't even imagine when Caden can actually walk and not shit himself all the time" they both giggle and rock slowly side to side as they watch the sun slowly go down over the hills, bathing Jackson and their garden in a darker shade of blue. The open windows allowed the warm breeze to enter their home, the crickets serenaded their quiet vulnerable embrace.

Caden played with his wooden horse around his parents feet, the peacefulness bringing almost tears to Joel's eyes. He wished Sara was here to see it. He sometimes wished he had gone with her that night, but his family and friends taught him to love again, to let people in and most importantly to enjoy life while he still could.

___

I normally would have followed the canon of the game since I love the story so much as it is and wouldn't change a thing but anything to make someone happy ❤️

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

[havntednlost]

The main problem: my mother.

Her and my social life.

She's my fucking hell. Since I was born. She never allowed me to do anything along with my father (that was waaaaaay more possessive and jealous when I was a child while now with my little sister he's all like "do whatever you want it's fine").

She never respected my privacy. My spaces. My decisions. My opinions. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion. I wasn't allowed to speak when she decided something. I wasn't allowed to choose my friends. I wasn't allowed to speak to some people I defined friends because they weren't okay for her. She'd always decided who I had to talk to and how I had to behave. She always shushed me when I wanted to say something that she thought could've been against her decision. I grew up with her ideas, with her ways of talking and acting. She was manipulating me, creating a copy of her. She wanted to see her in me. (You failed. Ops?🤭) And I was always alone. I never had friends. The only friends I could make were people with disabilities. Because others couldn't stand me. Others hated me or made fun of me. Since I was 6 (elementary school) to being 10 I only talked to people who had difficulties at school or were handicapped. I felt like they didn't judge me. And I felt like they were okay with me being their friend.

What does not having friends has to do with my mother?

Well easy: my social life was in her hands. And that's why I never had anyone by my side. Because no one was okay for her. Only one or maybe two people. And I never complained about it. Because she made me grow up like that. I had to shut up and just do what she said. In my childhood I remember disobeying just a couple of times to my mother. Consequences? Being hit. She slapped me in the face so hard she made me cry. Once she slapped me in front of my classmates in that way. My teacher told her it wasn't necessary and mum just used a polite way to say "fuck you I am her mother and I decide how she has to grow up". My teacher had to shut up while he was caressing me and making me calm down. In that moment I forgot I was in class. I must remember being in my teacher's arms and feeling safe, far from my mum's hands. I was 8 if I'm not wrong.

So, elementary school ended. Middle school started. First year. Me, still with the mentality of a child. Naive. Too innocent and silly to understand the world I was going to face. Middle school was the worst period of my life. I've been bullied all the three years.

First year: Afraid. Always defensive. But willing to be a perfect student just as I was at the previous school. It was just me and other four girls (way smarter than me because they didn't live like they were perfect dolls to keep in a house-cage) and then 15 boys. One of them had a crush on me. I rejected him. I got no will to talk about that embarrassing story. After that also this boy + all the girls made fun of me and bullied me and called me names like: horse, camel, annoying, stupid and stuff like that. I was absolutely not used to being talked to like that, consequently it was one of the first traumas I've experienced in first person, without having my mother "by my side" "to dEfENd me". First year ends and I made no friends.

My parents decide to move to another city. Caserta. Close to Naples. I spent two years there. It was a fucking hell. People there were like... the plastics of mean girls. We were 10 girls and 13 boys. Way better, I thought. Ugh, I was wrong. Boys were terrible, worse than the ones at the other school and girls? Damn, they were all Regina George. It was when my depression symptoms started, along with anxiety. They talked at my back, saying bad stuff about me. How I found out? My mother was going through my chats (without me knowing, of course) and she called me to tell me. I read the group chat. They started saying "Is Maria in this group? No? Are you sure? Yes". So after establishing that I wasn't there they started saying things like: Oh luckily she isn't. She's so annoying. Why the fuck did she came to our school? Couldn't she stay at her old one? She's so ugly and stupid. No one can stand her. No one wants her. And she thinks we're her friends! 😂😂😂 She thinks she's better than us! (totally untrue) She's no one. etc...

Now imagine me crying while reading everything because I didn't expect it.

My mother: Didn't you expect all of this? It was obvious.

Well sorry if I was too stupid because I grew up thinking people were good and I would've faced a world full of roses and love.

I just told her I didn't. Your fault, darling.

Day after. My mother goes to school and talks to my teacher about it. My teacher defends me and helps me with that and the thing is solved. But my classmates just hate me more and more. And they just keep bullying me but more subtly so that no one notices. But I was a bit smarter because I had my cousin (I will dedicate another post to this special person ❤️) that was helping me to go through all the shit and giving me advice.

Middle school ends.

I am not homophobic anymore (like my parents taught me to be). I start having doubts about my sexuality but ignore them. My depression gets worse and worse.

My mother gets worse and worse. Starting to prefer my two brothers and little sister over me for everything. I was needed just to clean the house and to be yelled at for wearing always black, being unsocial, always staying on my own in the dark, always with my phone, always listening to music, always being sad or angry, never smiling, staying up after 10pm for watching TV series or reading, not studying much etc...

(Want a hint my dear mother? I was/am depressed.)

In this period I start having suicidal thoughts. Still because of my parents. My cousin supporting me and telling me is silly and that there are other options.

We move back to Naples.

I am now 14.

Highschool starts. First year is shit because I get bullied again but I start making friends. A group of 7 people (me included). My mother says they're okay. Fucking finally.

Alessia, Gabriella, Chiara, Simona, Sara, Andreea (romanian). Fucking amazing friends. Disgustingly amazing.

My grades are low. My parents keep hating on me and yelling at me for that. But my friends support me.

In the meanwhile I get to know a girl on the Internet. We become close friends and that develops in feelings. We start a relationship. Let's be clear. It wasn't. It was just based on the fact that we had the same problems and she gave me a lot of affection, and I thought it was love.

One day my mother takes my phone, again, without me knowing, and reads all of my chats.

She finds out about this girl. I was terrified and so I confess. My first coming out. She says nothing. She goes to my dad and tells him. My dad yells "Go away! Go away from my sight!" and I go to the kitchen terrified. Crying and sobbing. We sit. Me, my mother and my dad. They start talking to me. A sum up:

I don't remember how my mother started talking. I removed it because it was traumatic, all I remember is her saying shit about that poor girl.

I say "Mum, what's wrong with gays? They're just like us"

Mum slaps me. Hard as fuck. I was shook. Scared. Hurt. Confused.

After that they start talking about how wrong is being gay, that God doesn't accept it, that it's not natural, that it's just a phase, that only animals have gay sex and that's why we humans are different from animals that must follow their instincts. They keep repeating the same things in different ways for 3 hours. I am not kidding. 3 hours. From 3pm to 6:30pm only talking about this. (Want to know what I've done all this time? I just nodded. I kept on nodding because I was afraid to talk.)

Mum deletes and blocks every number and friends from Internet and takes my SIM card and puts it in her phone so she can check all my chats from her phone. She throws my phone away breaking it.

Nighttime: No sleep. Everytime I fell asleep I had nightmares so I woke up. Sobbing. Crying. I can't fucking breathe. A fucking hell.

Morning: I wake up totally empty and with a dead face. My parents are in the kitchen. They warmly say "good morning" and ask me to sit. I sit on the couch. They ask me "how are you". My answer: HOW AM I?? HOW AM I YOU FUCKER?????!!!!! YOU'RE REALLY ASKING ME HOW ARE YOU WITH THIS NONCHALANCE???? FUCKING KILL YOURSELF. My actual answer:.... i'm tired.

I don't remember anything else after that. Trauma I guess.

I am not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up.

So after this happens I tell everything to my cousin. She doesn't believe that. She actually doesn't. She was too shocked to believe it. Haha, same sis. I don't either.

So, it takes a while for her to process everything and that's when our friendship starts for real. (We were good friends since I was 12. We grew up together, but there has never been an actual friendship because of how I was as a child. A pretty horrible child.) She starts helping me with my mother and all the stuff. We start getting closer and closer as time goes by and as my mother keeps being a bitch.

Second year of highschool.

My fucking favourite. It was such a good time. My grades weren't the best, my depression was fucking me up more than ever, my anxiety was kicking me out, but.. I had my friends. With a new entry. Simona. Yeah another one. Alessia changes school. So it's still 7 of us.

I swear if it wasn't for my friends that year and my cousin. I would've killed myself. Going back home from school everyday was basically going back to hell every fucking day.

dude: go to hell

me: awww where do you think i came from honey?

Then... that summer comes. Summer 2018.

I argue with my friends because of my parents, giving them the fault of everything. I keep them away from me. My mother gets even worse. She's against me like I am her enemy. She yells at me for everything. Every single thing.

me: *wakes up*

mother: WHY DID YOU WAKE UP GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SLEEP PROPERLY LIKE A LADY YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

She separates me from my cousin because she talked back at her (after she said bad things about my cousin's mother at her face) and here, another trauma. She calls me whore, liar, bitch because I didn't defend her like my cousin did with her mother (sorry but i hate you bitch). She says it's all my fault because I told my cousin everything about the bad things she did to me. That day goes away and my mother calms down and says it's not my fault but my cousin's because she's a bitch. I have no chance to talk to her for a month then we finally meet when my mother isn't at home. Since then we talk without no one of my family knowing. (It will be 3 years this summer, she never knew we do. How stupid can she be thinking I wouldn't talk to my favourite person ever because she said so).

September comes. Back to school. Third year. No friends. Low grades. No will to study. No will to live. But my cousin has my back. She keeps me alive, in fact I tried to kill myself multiple times. I failed. (Now I'm happy I didn't.) I pass that year. Not after another trauma. I seek for help at school. My teacher tells my mother about it and tells her that I am bisexual, atheist and I'm not okay in my family.

Thanks for ruining me, teacher. I expressively told her not to talk about it with my mother buuuut okay.

Quick sum up: I come back from school, my mother is crying. She starts saying things like "You don't want me as a mother? You don't like me? You hate me?" and I said no (not knowing that she knew what I said at school). Then the evening she walks to me and sits near me.

"Tell me the truth"

I was obviously confused. So she confesses what she knows. I was expecting the worst. It ended up with me talking to my uncles because my mother was "tOo hUrt" to talk to me.

"It's just a phase." "I hated my parents too." "You're too young to say these things." "You can't say you're bisexual if you never experienced anything."

It ended up with me faking a hug and "I'm sorry mum, I exaggerated." (obviously it was just to make everything stop).

bonus

me: *wants help to fight a difficult situation*

mum: *gets to know about it* YOU HURT ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH.

also mum: *reproaches it to my face everytime she's mad at me*

Fourth year starts. This is my year. This year. 2019/2020. It started perfectly. Good grades, my friends are back.

We move again. Tivoli (Rome). I am fucking happy with that. Expect for the fact that I can't meet my cousin anymore. But of course we can chat. Secretly on Telegram. Because my mother doesn't know what it is. Also, she stopped checking my phone, finally.

So, now. I'm 17, fourth year of highschool. Here I have no friends because they all suck. I miss my friends from Naples. And I wish I was free from my parents.

Some parts are not detailed. This because I will dedicate to them other posts otherwise this one would've been waaaaaay longer. And it's already too long.

No one will read these long posts but in case you're doing it, thank you ❤.

[vanilla--blossom]

***WARNING: SPOLIERS AND A SUPER SUPER LONG COMMENT!***

I loved this episode, it was an emotional roller coaster. Although this post is going to include thoughts on the whole series in general, mainly on Javier’s relationship with Kate and with David and Gabe too. Also just opinions of the characters individually. (It’s going to be a long post, sorry). The ending I got was Javier, Kate, Gabe and Conrad surviving (thank god) and David being bitten so Gabe has to shoot him to prevent him from turning. I chose to save Tripp in episode 4, therefore Ava came along with the group before she died, which was pretty much the only scene I didn’t like in this episode, it was very sudden and I think my game glitched so it cut some dialog or really small scenes so it was over very quickly.

It’s sad because I did like Ava and it was a hard decision on who to choose to be shot (when it came to that scene in ep 4, I didn’t choose either the first time and then ended Javi ended up getting shot lol, I DIDN’T WANT EITHER OF THEM TO BE KILLED AH and I was so shocked when Joan ended up killing the opposite person you wanted to save, such bullshit).

Anyway, on Kate and Javi’s relationship, when I started playing this season I was completely against the intimate/romantic relationship between them, every time some dialogue came up where you could flirt back with Kate, or kiss her or whatever, I didn’t choose those options and when it came to either rejecting her or sharing her feelings, I rejected her. She’s married to David, like you don’t go for your brothers wife? They’re brother and sister in law, bit incest? What about Gabe too? Bit weird for his uncle to start dating his farther’s wife? Plus I knew that David would NOT be happy when he found out, I kept rejecting her so David didn’t have any reason to want to fucking kill Javier and I always saw David’s good side so I wanted to be a good brother to him.

All that changed though when I watched a YouTuber’s Let’s Play of the episode. I don’t know, as soon as I saw them kiss I was just like yes. Instant support. Maybe it was Kate’s awkward confession, and her little excited, “oh my god! Really!?” reaction like she actually couldn’t believed Javi shared her feelings? Ahh it was just too cute. I went back and replayed the season, keeping all other choices the same expect the romance between them. It got me thinking, Javi and Kate have been on the road together for years, they thought David was dead, it was more than hinted that David was an abusive husband as well and Kate was really unhappy with him. They’ve been raising Marianna and Gabe all this time like they were practically their own children and have you seen the way the interact with each other? They have a great dynamic, Javi is so sarcastic, he’s got great banter and Kate can handle it and give it back, they’re always making each other laugh and smile and feel better and clearly they’re just way better suited for each other than Kate is with David. I chose the option for them to kiss after their reunion at the junkyard when I replayed and all Marianna says is “Gross.” Like she’s not at all bothered or angry her step mum is smooching her uncle? Because she can see how much they love and care for each other. Plus it’s a fucking zombie apocalypse, if you love someone, go for it, because you don’t know when your last moment will be with someone, no matter how fucked up the situation is, they were both really really happy in that moment at the junkyard and in the van, plus at the end of the episode too.

This brings me to David and Javi’s relationship. Apart from the Kate thing, I still tried to be a good brother to him, I took his hand after the fight when their dad died, I supported him in his decision to go to the army and promised to watch over Kate and and the kids. I hugged him in the quarantine cell, I stuck by all his plans (not to mention about Marianna & to stay and fight in Richmond, not siding with Kate), I even shot Joan for him. David was a fucking arsehole I admit that, but I did have a little soft spot for him, I always wanted him to redeem himself and for him to show the good person I believed he was inside, I get really attached to the characters, and I think the main way to enjoy the walking dead game is to not focus too much on the lack on character development with a few of the characters or the crappy pacing, even the bad dialogue selections sometimes. I try to put myself in each and everyone of the characters shoes and feel what they are feeling and try and understand.

So when it came to the scene when David found out about Javi and Kate’s relationship and started beating up Javi and was trying to kill him, I chose Javi to say “I love you” 3 times. The final “I love you brother” absolutely broke me. During this fight I was literally crying my eyes out, I could not stop crying, it was so intense and so emotional, it hurt me so much inside because Javi does love his brother and deep down, David loves Javier too. I started crying after the first “I love you”, because of David’s reaction to Javi saying that. He looked so shocked, like he couldn’t believe he heard that from him, which leads me to believe that was the first time Javier ever told David that he loved him. What makes it even more sad is that was the last time he ever said he loved him and also the last thing Javier ever said to David was “I love you brother”.

Other things that made me cry even harder during that scene, when Gabe rushed in to try to get his Dad to stop and David just hits him with the wrench. Like could you imagine your father doing that to you? Especially how much Gabe respected and loved his Dad, Gabe stuck up for David and was on his side throughout the whole season, and then to have everything you thought about your Dad to be proven wrong? After all that, he still chose to go with David because he is his Dad. He is family, he is blood. It’s heartbreaking. Also the little notification that you get if you choose to say I love you three times “you kept your promise to be a good brother”, like holy fuck shit. There I go, I was already broken in half, now I’m broken into quarters. Fuck my life, I was emotionally unstable.

I know a lot of people hate Gabe, just like they hated Duck in season 1 and I just don’t understand why? For both of them. Duck was just a special little boy, he didn’t understand everything was going on, in my opinion I think he had some sort of mental disability, or he was just really dumb who knows. But he was just a little kid, who talked too much and made bad decisions but how was he supposed to know what would happen? Being so young, so naive, he was such an energetic optimistic boy, ignorance is bliss they say right?

Anyway, enough about Duck, back to Gabe. Gabe was 14 years old, he was growing up and going through a really tough time, he has to deal with puberty, hormones, mood swings, testosterone levels are soaring, he wants to grow up. He doesn’t want to a little kid anymore. But the thing is he doesn’t know how. And imagine how hard it would be in a zombie apocalypse to do that. He thinks he’s saying and doing the right thing but he’s not, he wants to prove himself capable, he wants to prove that he’s smart and he can fight and protect himself and protect others, he believes he can. No one else does and so obviously that makes him frustrated that no one will take him seriously. It’s especially hard for him because his role models are Javier and David, two badass, lean mean fighting machines. He wants to be like them and he wants to be like them now but he can’t. Bless Gabe. He was an annoying little shit yeah but he’s a good annoying little shit. It’s all about seeing things from his point of view, imagining if you were him.

Which leads me to Gabe and Clem’s relationship. Disregarding the crush they both have on each other for a second, pretend that doesn’t exist. I love Clem and Gabe’s relationship. Oh my god, how can you not? I’m sorry but how long has Clem gone without a friend her age? Since fucking forever that’s how long. The only kids she’s ever been with is Duck and Sara throughout the entire series. Clem has been through so much shit, she’s been through hell, she’s lost Lee, Kenny, Luke, AJ, all the most important people to her throughout the series, she’s the toughest little girl in the world, she was forced to grow up so much quicker than she had to. Lee taught her to shoot a gun at 8 years old okay. She’s more intelligent and strong and brave and mature than anyone ever has to be at 14 years old, if it weren’t for her appearance you would think Clementine was a fully grown adult. She raised AJ, a toddler, thought of herself as a mother, a real mother to AJ and she’s just still a kid herself.

This is why I fully support her friendship with Gabe, in the van and they were playing euchre together, Clem just got to be a normal teenage girl for a couple of minutes having fun and joking with a teenage boy. Like Kate said it’s just so normal? It’s nice to see, and I can’t remember who said this in the game but “life doesn’t mean much without people you can relate to”, Clem and Gabe relate to each other, they’re in the same boat, Clem understands Gabe and makes him feel better as Gabe does with Clem. I’m sure all of us know how it feels not to be understood and when someone comes a long and shows you that they do understand it’s a relief.

Back to the crushing part between the two, it’s again NORMAL AND FUCKING CUTE! It’s a little harmless crush, of course they’re going to have a crush on each other, it’s the first teen girl Gabe has ever seen since the outbreak, and Clem is really pretty and nice, of course Gabe is going to have a crush on her. It made me smile at the end when Javi was like to Clementine “you know the guy has a crush on you right” and he was all like “oh my gosh you have a crush on him too!!” and then Clem got all embarrassed and flustered and exclaimed “I DO NOT!”, again this is so funny and just adds a bit of lightheartedness and normalcy to the game, yes they’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse but characters get to be happy once in a while and just pretend that world hasn’t gone to hell. All in all, loved the season, especially loved this episode! Phew what a rant, you have reached the end, props if you read all of it.

[plinys]

okay i figured out how a dctv sweet/vicious au would work with maximum ladies in the story

first off sara is ophelia, for obvious reasons, mostly because theyre both my faves and lets be real if it wasnt for the whole drowning on a boat thing, college sara lance wouldve had a six foot bong

kendra is jules, because i said so. also because i miss them interacting. imagine nice wonderful college student kendra, part time barista, part time vigilante. full time light of sara’s life (also we can make the awful bad person professor savage because he canon assaulted kendra and yeah)

we have amaya, kendra’s roommate (because honestly us being robbed of their interactions killed me) - generally too cool for everyone on campus, is on mock un, adorable go getter who follows the rules

laurel - sara’s pre-law sister, trying to get on the law review board, pays all of sara’s bills. generally just wants to be that cool supportive sister (until she starts to connect crimes together and figures out there might be a vigilante on campus and figures out it might be her sister and “i literally taught you how to throw a punch, what part of this snapchat did you think i would not recognize as being you”)

nyssa, sara’s girl friend? partner? fuck buddy? (honestly, kendra isn’t sure but she can’t judge since she’s kind of dating two guys at once and sometimes makes out with sara but like its chill she’s poly) who just wants to know what the hell is going on - because she would be so down for murder - and also wants to play strip jenga?? 

iris west, friend of laurel. works part time for campus security (since he dad wont’ let her be a real cop) is totally 100% here for this vigilante theory and will put her life in danger no big to try and figure out who it is. like does she want to stop them? does she want to help them? who knows?

lisa snart, technically her brother’s own the record story that is below sara’s apartment, but sara has literally seen leonard snart once in her entire life?? he might be a mob boss?? and he’s totally fine with her selling drugs out of the shop as long as she doesnt break the one rule of dont sleep with his baby sister?? but what he doesnt know wont hurt him. so theyre cool. usually lisa is down working in the shop, hella chill all the time, lisa is great

caitlin snow - catfished by a guy who claimed to be jay but they found the real jay and he wasnt who assaulted caitlin so they chase down the actual awful man and caitlin is literally so thankful she like ?? offers to help them in their vigilante ism

 jesse and thea are college freshmen that live down the hall from kendra/amaya, and they buy drugs from sara and one time they got high off shrooms and sara convinced lisa to baby sit them and basically it was great

other ladies im forgetting about?

basically the end result of this, is team of lady vigilante's taking down awful men

[lifeasabpdmum-blog]

Why Conversion Camps are BAD!

Conversion camps or Conversion Therapy is coming back into “Fashion” in a big way. But here is why I think they should be completely banned and Illegal. 

Conversion therapy is the Pseudoscientific practice of trying to change an individual’s sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual using psychological or spiritual interventions.

 In Russia they claim that they have no Gay People  in Chechnya, So therefore cannot have any Gay Torture Camps, Even though evidence has repeatedly proven that statement to be false, There are Gay People literally everywhere. 

Amnesty International has announced that police are kidnapping and imprisoning gay men simply for being gay. They’re tortured and killed. It is hard to believe that these places exist in these days.  It might be even harder to imagine that similar camps exist in the United States today, and have for decades.

It is said that Gay Conversion Camps are quieter these days, than they were decades ago.  largely because they’ve fallen out of political favor. We’ve long since established that being homosexual is not a mental disorder: it’s just as natural as heterosexuality, Unfortunately there are some groups, almost mostly exclusively religious, that are determined to believe otherwise. 

Here is a small story I found while I was researching information  for this post.

“Samuel Brinton was told he was the “only gay person left in the world."Brinton, now 29, was raised as a Southern Baptist missionary, growing up in Africa and the Amazon jungle. After returning to the United States, Sam wasn’t having the “urges” that other young boys his age had. It quickly became clear that Brinton was indeed having those feelings; they were just directed toward a male friend. Sam’s father attempted to “scare the gay away” through physical abuse, but when that didn’t work, his parents allegedly sent the 10-year-old youngster to conversion therapy in their home state of Kansas. Brinton describes it as having been “mental torture.” But what took place there has been impossible to wipe from Sam’s memory. The conversion therapist allegedly told Brinton that the government “had come and killed off” all gay people because they “brought AIDS into America.” Sam claims that the therapist also said that homosexuals are an “abomination” in God’s eyes. When that didn’t cure Brinton of his same-sex longings, Sam says that the therapist attempted “physical aversion therapy,” burning or freezing the child’s hands when pictures of men touching other men were displayed.” 

When applying hot and cold didn’t work either, they moved onto electroshock therapy.

hese treatments — which lasted for two years — didn’t cure Brinton’s urges, but they did have harmful, long-lasting effects. The pain Sam experienced made Brinton “terrified” to be physically affectionate with men, even something as small as exchanging a friendly hug. Over 15 years later, Sam is still “constantly in need of mental health support,” often experiencing thoughts of suicide. This is extremely common. Statistics from the American Psychological Association show that survivors of conversion therapy are 8.9 times more likely than their peers to consider taking their own lives. “ 

Here is the link to this information if you wish to read the whole thing. 

https://www.salon.com/2017/03/21/conversion-therapy-is-torture-lgbt-survivors-are-fighting-to-ban-pray-the-gay-away-camps/

Gay conversion therapy survivor, Chris Csabs, has amassed 43,000 signatures on a petition to outlaw the kind of 'therapy’  Aside from Victoria, no other state in Australia has a ban on conversion therapy. “Far from going away, [gay conversion therapy] is actually expanding in Australia,” says researcher at La Trobe University, Dr. Timothy Jones.  Which is fucking disgusting and so sad to know, This is 2019, why do so many people around the world still believe that these are helpful? how many more people have to die before these get banned and become illegal? 

“If you have ever seen American Horror Story: Asylum, you may have seen a glimpse of what gay conversion therapy is. During this season a woman by the name of Lana Winters, played by Sara Paulson, is a lesbian woman who is brought into the asylum on the accounts of being gay. During her time there a doctor trying to get her out does a series of tests and practices to try and change her sexual orientation from lesbian to straight. The tests that he practices are all also used in some Gay conversion camps”. Now I only vaguely remember this happening because that season was pretty traumatic for me.

These tests and therapy treatments include:

-institutionalization

-castration : the removal of the testicles of a male animal or man. This is used due to the belief that homosexuality is rooted in the testicles, they would remove the testicles of a gay man and give them “heterosexual testicles”

-electroconvulsive shock therapy: this includes the doctor to send shocks through a persons body while looking at erotica of the same sex or sexual photos of the individuals partner until vomiting occurs.

-psychological abuse: this can be categorized into many things but this is also one of the top treatments used to conversion therapy.

While some of these aren’t used much anymore today, it is still important to address it

Here is another link you should read, where I got information from 

https://aminoapps.com/c/lgbt-1/page/blog/gay-conversion-camps-what-you-should-know/Rr8k_4D2cwuWa5Gl0YVX5jQWP2QqBlR0PdB

Here is another link I haven't added anything from this page but I think you should read it 

https://www.nowtolove.com.au/news/real-life/what-really-goes-on-during-a-gay-conversion-therapy-session-10468

Members that manage to endure the months of torture and abuse at the hands of these gay conversion programs are forced to live a lie and repress their true selves when they rejoin the outside world. For others, the horrors of the camp leave them with no choice but to escape and risk further abuse or put an end to it all and commit suicide. Astonishingly, most of these horrifying true accounts of life in a gay conversion camp are fairly recent – proof if any were needed that so much more needs to be done about protecting and ensuring the rights of the LGBT community.

Here are 15 moving and truly chilling stories from gay conversion therapy camps. 

FOUND ON    https://www.therichest.com/shocking/15-haunting-stories-from-gay-conversion-therapy-camps/

HAVING TESTICLES ELECTROCUTED

Many of the young men and boys that are sent to ‘straightening’ camps are felt especially stigmatized and judged by their father – this was the case for one unnamed member who was determined to reprogram himself because his own father didn’t view him as a normal kid. Most people would be equally hurt by their parents' decision to send them to a gay conversion camp, but feeling like a disappointment in the eyes of your main male role model can have a significant impact on some young boys.

Concerned so much about earning his father’s approval, one boy agreed to undergo a form of electroshock torture which involved taping electrical pads to his testicles while he viewed gay porn. If the young man got an erection from watching the video, he would get his manhood electrocuted. The lengths this boy went to just to win his dad’s respect is heartbreaking and reveals just how brainwashed camp members can become.

DRIVEN TO SUICIDE

Gay conversion camps are hell-bent on destroying self-worth by any means necessary, so it’s no surprise to learn that for some, suicide can seem like the only way out. This was the tragic outcome for one young girl, who at the age of 17 decided to end her own life after camp counselors did what they do best by convincing her that she didn’t deserve to be loved.

According to her cousin, the young girl had long pleaded with her parents to take her back home since she was hopelessly unhappy. Unfortunately, her parents were adamant that she saw the gay therapy program through to the end. By then, of course, it was too late. Her suicide letter pointed the blame towards her parents, saying “Mom, Dad I love you, despite how misguided you are, you taught me how to hate and feel disgusted with myself rather than to love myself.”

STARVED AND TORTURED TO DEATH

At age 15, South African teen Raymond Buys was enrolled into a ‘Game Rangers’ camp by his parents. Buys was not gay, but was thought to have exhibited ‘gay traits’, so his mother and father sent him off to a training camp that they assumed would make him “a better man, and give him a better future.” The next time they saw their teenage son was in the hospital three months later – he was severely malnourished, bruised and fighting for his life.

The camp Buys’ parents had assumed would simply train their son in the art of being 'manly' turned out to be a gay conversion camp that subjected Raymond and the other boys to round the clock torture. According to a camp mate of Raymond’s, their camp leader reportedly chained Buys to his bed every night, refused him toilet access and one occasion, Buys was forced to eat his own feces. Raymond was later taken to hospital emaciated and suffering from brain damage as a result of his beatings. He died soon after.

A BRAVE AND RISKY ESCAPE

An anonymous gay man on Reddit shared his experience of escaping from a ‘Pray the gay away’ program organized by his local church as a teenager. Faced with endless sermons about how destructive and sinful homosexuality was for the soul, he felt increasingly isolated and close to suicidal. He bravely decided that enough was enough and it was time to plan his escape.

Luckily one morning, one of the doors outside his dorm was unguarded and he managed to slip out of the camp and on to the main road. He followed it until he was out of sight and was able to get a reception to call his dad and brother. To the young teen’s surprise, his dad was proud of his successful escape attempt and applauded him for sticking to his beliefs. The camp counselors, on the other hand, were not so happy and considered him an abomination and destined for hell. By the sounds of things, he’d already escaped hell.

PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY TORTURED

29-year-old Samuel Brinton is truly an inspiration to the LGBT community. As a boy, Brinton was physically abused by his father for revealing he had feelings for another boy. Soon after this, his mother sent him off to be treated with gay aversion therapy – the methods of which belong in a horror movie. Throughout his time in therapy, Brinton was made to believe that all gay people had AIDS, that all other gay people had been killed by the government and that he would be next.

In addition to the brainwashing came the physical and emotional torture that continues to plague him in adulthood. Brinton was made to associate gay sex and feelings of arousal with extreme pain using methods which included electrocution, being burnt with hot copper coils and being frozen with ice. Brinton attempted suicide 5 times and still experiences pain when his current boyfriend shows him any affection. Admirably, Sam now speaks about his hellish ordeal around the world as a campaigner for LGBT rights.

REGULAR EXORCISMS TO ‘DISLODGE’ SHAMEFUL DEMONS

When most of us think of exorcisms, we can’t help but picture spinning heads, a possessed girl, and projectile vomiting. The reality, however, can simply involve hours of intense prayer and repentance for the so-called sin of being born homosexual – but this doesn’t make the experience any less traumatic for the individual. Exorcisms in gay conversion therapy can consist of shaming techniques to expose the unnatural ‘demons’ within people. This is what Peterson Toscano had discovered.

Toscano was raised as a devout Christian and problems arose when his faith stood in the way of his true sexual orientation. Fearful about being a gay teenager at a time when ‘gay’ was synonymous with AIDS, Toscano’s faith convinced him that he needed ‘fixing’. One area of his exorcism-like treatment forced him to record every homosexual encounter he ever had and share the most embarrassing one with his family. Toscano suffered from a long period of depression as a result of his treatment, which did nothing to suppress his true nature.

TAUGHT TO HATE THEIR FATHERS

Very often, young gay men who are struggling to come out have a fractured relationship with their father and this is something gay conversion camps will frequently use to their advantage. An undercover reporter at a gay reprogramming camp recalls how most men in the camp lacked a father figure in their life and were often asked to think of their most traumatic and painful memories involving feelings of fatherly neglect. It wasn’t long before things got out of hand.

Camp leaders would often encourage these young men to engage in roleplay whereby they were able to beat up and brutally ‘kill’ their fathers. The undercover camp member reportedly watched as one young man was given a bat and a punching bag to represent his father. The camp leaders encouraged the member to beat his imaginary father until he was dead, allowing a new more accepting father to appear. By the camp’s logic, the young man no longer had father issues and was therefore no longer homosexual. Horrific.

ESCAPING TO A PSYCHIATRIC WARD

You know things are bad amongst intolerant and homophobic people when you’d rather seek solitude in a psychiatric ward. This is exactly what one 16-year-old girl was driven to after facing extreme prejudice both from her family and officials at a ‘pray the gay way’ program. The young girl (who has shared her experiences anonymously on Reddit) recalls how she was found out as a lesbian by her brother. Her parents' immediate reaction was to send her to what she thought were ‘family counseling’ sessions.

These, of course, turned out to be a gay conversion-style program, where the 16-year-old was repeatedly told by staff members and her own flesh and blood that she was destined to go to hell. To make matters worse, her parents even asked her to sign a contract before allowing her to live at home again. Before long, the pressure overwhelmed her so much that she asked to be admitted to a psychiatric ward for a whole week, just to escape her overbearing counselors and family.

BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE HE WAS ABUSED

James Guay was brought up in a strict Christian household in California, where homosexuality was viewed upon with the same level of disgust as rape and child molestation. Once Guay began to experience feelings for other boys, he fought his natural desires at every opportunity, which eventually led to self-harm and suicidal tendencies. Since suicide was as much of a sin as homosexuality, however, Guay was torn between being true to himself and the prospect of burning in hell. Discovering he had self-harmed, Guay’s parents enrolled him in therapy sessions and it was here that he was told that his gay feelings were down to his parents.

Guay was wrongly told by his therapist that his gay feelings were down to ‘an overbearing mother and distant father’ and convinced him that he had suffered physical and sexual abuse throughout his childhood. There was no absolutely no truth to this, but James’ therapist would encourage him to remember non-existent abuse memories to ward him off homosexuality. Forced associations between abuse and homosexuality is a popular technique of anti-gay counselors, and these practices are thankfully now banned in Guay’s home state of California.

BRED INTO A VIOLENT PERSON

Like anything you repress about yourself for years on end, bottling up your true desires when it comes to your sexual orientation will always have a lasting and very damaging effect in later life. As well as affecting the life of the camp member, gay conversion camps can destroy so many other lives in their wake. One boy on Reddit disclosed how his father’s experience at a gay conversion camp in his youth eventually turned him into an abusive father and husband.

His father forced himself to believe he was ‘cured’ of his homosexuality and vowed to live a straight life – getting married to a woman for 30 years and fathering a son in the process. Throughout the marriage, they boy’s father was a pressure cooker of emotions – leading to violent outbursts that culminated with his father leaving his mother for a man. His son forever blames the camp for turning a man against himself and destroying innocent lives - all for the sake of being gay.

A STRAIGHT KID WAS MISTAKENLY SENT TO CAMP

This sounds like the premise of a comedy film, but the reality was far more disturbing that it sounds. When one teenage girl was spotted hanging out with her gay and female best friend, her strict Catholic parents believed the two girls were secretly dating and decided to take action. Recalling her experience on a forum, the straight 15-year-old revealed that her parents had sent her to a ‘pray the gay away’ camp, where she spent a week before making a break for it.

While in the camp, she was made to attend regular prayer circles and was often denied food and water because she refused to admit that she was gay and had a ‘problem’. During her time there, she also witnessed a camp counselor and camp member of the same sex get together. Finally, sick of the hypocrisy and abuse at the hands of the camp, she escaped with the help of a male friend. When her parents found the two together, they assumed the conversion therapy had been a huge success!

HORRID TEACHINGS DISCOVERED BY AN UNDERCOVER INVESTIGATOR

An anti-gay organization in Australia known as Living Waters intrigued investigator, Claire Weaver, to go undercover and discover exactly how they operate. Like most gay conversion programs, Living Waters was designed to help men and women across the country ‘overcome’ their homosexuality – mainly by inventing idiotic statistics about gay people and brainwashing camp members into believing them.

Throughout her time at the organization, Weaver attended speeches that told members that 80-85 % of lesbians were sexually abused in the past and that women who were never breastfed were more likely to become attracted to women! Weaver also discovered the detestable philosophy the camp lived by, which was to enforce gender stereotypes in order to prevent homosexuality in kids. Living Waters believed in forcing feminine things on to girls and vice versa to ensure children never grow up ‘confused’. The only thing guaranteed to confuse children is to be taught this utter bullsh*t

TREATED LIKE ROBOTS, NOT HUMAN BEINGS

In the words of one gay conversion camp survivor, simply known as ‘TC’, conversion therapy made him and others feel that they “were no longer people at the end of the program.” At the age of 15 in 2012, TC was forced by his parents to receive conversion treatment. This form of treatment wasn’t simply designed to change his sexual orientation, however, it was to kill any trace of his former self and start afresh.

TC’s conversion therapy consisted of two major steps – to break his self-worth using torture methods and to rebuild a ‘new’ character with the teachings of Jesus. The initial step (lasting six months) involved shock therapy and physical abuse with sessions lasting for 1-3 hours at a time. By the second step, members had become numb, blank shells ready for the program to rebuild with a different way of eating, talking and thinking. TC survived his horrific experience but saw many friends take their own lives because of the inhumane system.

THE BLACK SHEEP OF HER OWN CHURCH

Churches should be seen as a place of peace and a sanctuary that welcome all of God’s children. In recent years, however, some have shown themselves to be very judgemental and backward in their view of the LGBT community. This was apparent to a girl from West Yorkshire, who found herself victim to anti-gay blackmail in her own evangelical church.

In 2007, the girl (given the pseudonym ‘Louise’ to protect her identity) was told that she was forbidden from socializing with anyone under the age of 18 in the church for fear that her homosexuality could influence younger churchgoers. As well as this, she was made to feel further isolated by having regular exorcisms performed on her. Her progress in shedding her ‘gay tendencies’ was constantly monitored by the church elders. Louise later revealed that if she had been more impressionable, she could have easily become very “damaged by the process.”

FORCED TO LIVE A LIE 

Sometimes, the most difficult period in the lives of gay conversion camp members is the life that awaits them once they become ‘cured’. Having spent their formative years being taught that their natural desires for a homosexual relationship are inherently wrong and sick, many camp survivors struggle to form same sex relationships and consequently, wind up married to the opposite sex, raising kids and living a lifelong lie.

This was the harsh reality for men like Anthony Venn-Brown and Simon Tinkler from Australia, who spent years married to women and even fathering children because evangelical pastors convinced them that through enough prayer and marriage, they could become straight. Years of brainwashing treatment and enforced ‘manly chores’ in their youth had people like Venn-Brown and Tinkler convinced that their conversion therapy had worked. But both now live openly gay and are having to start their lives from scratch – all because religious nutcases perceived their natural feelings as ‘evil’.

Sources: BBC News; Huffington Post; Now To Love.

 The below stories come from this website 

https://www.ranker.com/list/reprogramming-camp-horror-stories/jacobybancroft

A Girl Commits Suicide After Attending a Conversion Camp

This redditor had a friend whose 17-year-old cousin was sent to a reprogramming camp, and the results were both tragic and avoidable. While she was there, she begged her parents to pick her up and take her home. She told them that all the camp was doing was making her hate herself for who she was. She was absolutely miserable, but her parents insisted she finish the program. Of course, it didn't work.

A month later, she committed suicide, with a letter to her parents saying, "Mom, Dad I love you despite how misguided you are, you taught me how to hate and feel disgusted with myself rather than to love myself."

An Undercover Straight Reporter Watches as a Gay Man Beats His Imaginary Father to Death

n his undercover mission to research the harmful and deceitful reprogramming camps that were designed to offer a "freedom from homosexuality," Ted Cox witnessed some crazy and truly horrendous acts. Throughout his weekend posing as a gay man on a quest to cure his "disease" at the Journey into Manhood retreat, he was constantly asked to define what manhood and masculinity was, and was forced to face his most traumatic memory. Most of the other men in the group had memories dealing with neglect from their fathers (a big talking point of the conversion therapy camps is that homosexuals just didn't receive the proper love from a father figure), but when the time came to face those memories, things got violent.

A majority of the men in the group recreated scenes with counselors portraying their fathers and then were forced to physically drag the counselors out of the room and shut the door. One of the younger guests was given a bat and a punching bag was placed in front of him. He started whacking the punching bag with half-hearted enthusiasm, but with the encouragement of the counselors, he was told to really hurt the bag until it was dead. While he was hitting it, the man's imaginary father died, and in his place a new father appeared, one who was more accepting. This was to help the man get over his father issues and therefore, no longer be homosexual.

To Earn Dad's Approval, a Boy Gets His Testicles Electrocuted

The only reason this kid went to a reprogramming camp was because his father didn't see him as normal. Many of the other stories on this list include people who worried about eternal damnation, but this boy was only worried about his father's approval.

At the camp, counselors would tape electrical pads to young men's testicles while making them watch gay porn. If they got an erection, they got zapped.

After the camp, this man got married to a woman, only for it to end in divorce later when it turned out that both he and his wife were homosexual.

Pray the Gay Away Gathering Leads to Admittance to the Psych Ward

After she was outed by her brother, a lesbian's parents made her go to "family counseling" that turned out to be a "pray the gay away" meeting. Throughout it all, her stress continued to grow. Not only was she constantly told by both her family and the staff that she was going to tell, but her parents took it a step further by whipping up a contract she had to sign in order to continue living in their house.

At that point, the pressure became too much. The girl, age 16, asked to be admitted to a psych ward and stayed there for a week just to get some space from her family and the camp counselors.

A Conversion Camp Creates a Ticking Time Bomb of Violent Rage

The biggest thing this redditor is mad about is the damage these camps do to a person's sense of self. At a young age, this man's father went to one of the camps after being told by his church that he could be normal and cured of his sinful thoughts. At the camps, they claimed an abusive home, depression, and a poor relationship with one's father is what leads to homosexuality.

After he left the camp, the man's father was told he was "cured." He married a woman without telling her his past and they had kids. Throughout their almost 30 years of marriage, he was a bad husband and father. He was abusive, angry, and even violent before finally leaving his wife (the redditor's mother) for a man.

Today, his son doesn't entirely blame his father, but rather he blames the camp and the church that convinced his father that he was wrong and sinful, ruining not only his own life, but the lives of his wife and children, too.

After Realizing He Didn't Belong, a Young Man Plans his Great Escape

During a "pray the gay away" weekend, a gay teen realized that he wasn't in the right place. He was subjected to sermons about how the homosexuals were destroying the world and he was treated like a leper. He realized that staying at that camp would only be bad for him. So, fearing for his safety and believing that he would quite possibly become suicidal after the ordeal, he woke up early in the morning and fled into the forest.

In the end, when he called his father to tell him he'd escaped, his dad was proud that his son stuck to his guns. Though the counselors themselves weren't too happy and were convinced that the kid was an abomination and going to hell

A Straight Girl Was Sent to a Camp Accidentally and Her Heterosexuality Was Taken as Proof the Camp Worked

This redditor was put in a situation straight out of a 90s sitcom. When she was younger, her best friend was gay and the girl's Catholic parents thought they were dating. They forced her to go to one of the "pray the gay away" camps where she was subjected to "prayer circles and abuse."

After a week there, where she witnessed a bunch of strange things (including a camper hooking up with a counselor of the same sex on the obstacle course), she decided to run away. The camp staff waited two days before reporting her missing, because they thought she would return, but she didn't. The girl called one of her male friends to pick her up and she stayed in his treehouse for a few days. When it was raining, she snuck inside his basement, but was caught by the boy's parents.

Her parents were furious at her for running away, but also saw her staying with a boy as a sign that the camp was a big success

A Woman Goes Undercover and Is Taught Absurd Myths About Lesbianism

Clair Weaver was curious about how Living Waters, an organization dedicated to help people overcome their homosexuality, got their message out, so she decided to infiltrate one of the camps. During her investigation, she attended seminars where she was told that 80-85 percent of lesbians were sexually abused in the past, that women who weren't breastfed ended up sexually attracted to women, and that popular culture is somewhat to blame for glamorizing same-sex relationships and making them seem okay.

She was also told that it parents should push feminine things onto girls and masculine things onto boys so they aren't confused about what they like when they grow up. According to the camp, if you keep up a healthy childhood filled with strict gender distinctions, homosexuality can be prevented a majority of the time.

Conversion Camps May Just Offer Some Young People a Place to Hook Up

This story isn't verified, but this reddit user claims he has a friend who was forcibly sent to a conversion therapy camp, and then proceeded to have more sex there than he had ever had before. On some level, that doesn't sound too far-fetched. You're putting a vast number of boys or girls who are questioning their sexuality all together in one place, away from home, and then putting them through exercises that involve a lot of touching and emotional connectedness.

Is it that hard to believe some campers would start having sex with one another?

[4thstreetwrestling-blog]

Finding your niche: Interview with Sara Pattison

My interview this week is with a friend and my travel partner. Sara (the founder of Cheapshot merch) and I met at a local wrestling show in Quincy in January. The next time we’d see each other would see Sara travel from Chicago, to Quincy to pick me up, then Pontoon Beach. She drove a straight 14 hours in total that day because of her commitment to networking, and watching wrestling.

Jonah: When did pro-wrestling come into your life?

Sara: “My dad, Rick, got me into wrestling when I was pretty young. I was around 4 years young or so. He's my best friend and I was his youngest child so, he took the fact that I was already a tomboy, and sat me in front of the TV one night to watch wrestling and made it a tradition. I cant remember the specific match I first saw, but when i started watching it, you had all the legends in their prime. The Rock, Hogan, Stone Cold, Degneration X. I remember then women's wrestling wasn't exactly a thing just yet but as I continued to watch wrestling, it morphed into a thing and man. That in itself really captivated me to continue to watch. To see women on my TV screen doing some badass dives and really going toe to toe with each other was inspiring as hell.“

You’ve met a lot of people on the business. Who are your favorite people to see wrestle and where? 

“Indy wise, despite the fact he's not in the indies anymore, it will always be Cedric Alexander. Hands down. He's an incredible athlete, entertaining, and all around a super rad guy. Also, he lumbar checked Candice LeRae and it was pure gold. I would always go see him in Cleveland, Ohio. I remember that show but I don't know how I remember it considering I was pretty... not sober. But i remember pieces of it and that was one. Also the fact that I cussed Nick Gage out and didn't let him cut his promo in the ring because I was yelling at him the entire time. Don't blame me, blame the mark in me. And the alcohol. I also love going to N.O.W in Ohio, too. It's packed full of talented people - new to the scene and not so new to the scene. The shows are always A1 and Robert is an amazing promoter. I haven't really gone to many shows since I've moved back to Illinois but I have no issues making that 8 and a half hour drive to go to N.O.W because the quality is that damn good.”

Is there some advice you’ve gotten about the wrestling business you’d like to share?

“Some advice? Oh man, let's see. I have personally always been on edge, back and forth with the thought of training, myself. So when Cedric had brought it up and we had been talking about our love of wrestling, he asked me if I ever thought about training. And I just explained to him that I have but I'm too nervous because I might not be good and I'll disappoint myself and had concerns about my heart problems getting in the way or hindering me in some ways. And he basically told me that, besides the heart problems being a reason, everything else was an excuse. I was holding myself back. He said that with wrestling, as well with anything, you just have to do it. There will be times where you figuratively reach that cliff after climbing the mountain and you just...have to jump. No hesitation. Just do it. Age is no excuse. The fact that I was and am a bit heavier than I'd like to be, no excuse. Just go for it. He said that moves and mic skills can be taught but passion cannot. And nothing will hold you back from your passions.”

What makes you want to keep watching wrestling?

“I don't watch WWE that much anymore. If I do, it's NXT or PPVs that I watch with my dad. And I think that's the biggest part of it all. My dad. He got me into wrestling initially and when I got older I started connecting with workers from all over and just branched out from there. But my dad used to travel a lot. He's met several huge, infamous names in the biz. Hogan and Andre being two. He had drinks with them at an airport bar one time and tells me that story often , but I love it. Because I can just imagine what they talked about and how my dad was feeling sitting next to two men he watched on TV and now he's casually having drinks with them. Wild. And besides my father, watching my friends evolve and really chase after their dreams in the business is just so fun for me. I always tell them to just throw me in the trunk and let me go on the road with them. It's just a lifestyle that I've grown to love and I'm so happy and appreciative that I get to be apart of it in the way that I do.”

Do you have any plans to train soon? Who do you look at for inspiration of style?

“Ugh. [Laughs]. I don't know. Honestly at this point in my life, I think I'd much rather be behind the scenes. And if anything, be the next Paul Heyman. But wrestle? Nah. I feel like I'm pretty entertaining and have no qualms claiming that and being confident in that. I'm very expressive with my movements and facial expressions but I think becoming an actual wrestler would just be too risky for me, health wise. My heart problems are pretty serious and there's no changing that. But I still imagine it, a lot, being a wrestler. I pulled a lot of inspo from women like Lita, Victoria, and even Sable and I have a few female friends who are amazingly talented workers on the indy circuit who I love watching them grow on their journey. It just makes my soul so happy to see my friends live out their dreams and I'm 100% okay being an on looker. Holler at me for some graphic design work, though.”

What sparked the idea to start Cheapshot?

“I wanted to find my niche in the business and graphic design seemed like it would be just that. I'm self taught but went to school for it. Only for like, two semesters but it still counts [Laughs]. I did this shirt design for my ex years ago and holy sh*t when I tell you it was the absolute worst......it was the absolute worst. I mean, just so pixelated and white pixels on the edges and..yeah..it just was not good. I felt terrible because his mom bought one and I'm like, cool, what an impression you're making right now by giving her some shit artwork for her son. *Slow clap*. But since then, I've gotten far better. The classes I took helped me understand color better and understand the business side of graphic design. I've always held this dream of having a traveling t shirt shop on wheels and honestly, I figured that's going to take a bit to save up for. So in the mean time, let me do this. Let me start a merch company via a dropshipping site and just do it. Like Cedric said, just do it. Go for it. So I finally did. Threw around some names to go by and Cheapshot just stuck with me. Everyone loves a good heel spot,a good cheapshot. I wanted workers to have an easier and cheaper (no pun intended) option to get merch. I take no money up front and they receive full profit of whatever sales they make. And I know even the smallest amount is something to these guys and gals. They work so hard and give so much to their fans and the audiences weekend in and out...I just really wanted to help them grow.

Cheapshot stands out because it's just me. I'm doing the artwork, I'm connecting with wrestlers who want to have merch out there but can't necessarily fork out $200 plus dollars to get it physically, and I (attempt) to run the Facebook page, as well. On top of all that, I work two jobs and I'm a mom, too. So, you don't see many female bosses in the wrestling world. It's nice to plant that seed and begin growing in that position. I've got huge goals and visions for Cheapshot and I'm really grateful for the athletes that have taken a gamble on me representing them via merchandise.”

Where can people find your store and reach out to you for designs?

“ Visit Cheapshot Merch on Teepsring

and feel free to add me on Facebook Sara Pattison. Follow me on Instagram @thelifeofjohnni. Reach out to me about doing some business via those two social medias or if you're more old school, shoot me an email at johnni.malone@aol.com. And if you mention how retro I am for using AOL, I'll send you $5 (don't actually do this because I actually won't).”

Who’s hot in the independent scene that you’re aware of? Shout out da homies

“SHOUT OUT TO DEMMMM. THE COME UP IS NIIICEEE. But uh, yeah, I love watching Terra Calaway, Alex Weir, Indy Card Mafia (ayye, fellow interviewee), Space Monkey, Sage Sin, Curt Ganon to name a few. And no one could ever forget Uncle Bob Evans - you would seriously be a damn fool to not attend his seminars.”

Sara, you’re a saint and I love you. Thank you so so so much

“Love you! Any time! You know how to make a woman feel special. #Blessed.”

Check out Cheapshot merch at the link here.

Check us out on facebook here.

You’re very nice for reading this article. Please do that every Wednesday when we post more interviews. Love you.

[sending-the-message]

Those Crazy Tibetans by subliiime4668

Back in the early 70's, a mass exodus of Tibetans entered India to escape religious persecution. From there, a fair number of Buddhist teachers leapt to America in seeking a larger audience for their lessons.

See, in Buddhism, spiritual fulfillment is granted through the knowledge one gains.

Recently I've sought to expand my own knowledge. In particular, I've been reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead.

The more you learn, whether from another practitioner or from books on the subject, the closer you get to enlightenment. Teachers seek to disseminate their knowledge among as many followers as possible, so that more people have the chance to achieve Nirvana.

My mom and dad were such people. Their enigmatic teacher had been a tulku, someone especially gifted in spiritual power, and they advanced quickly under his tutelage. I think he loved them; or, at least, felt a degree of responsibility for their fate, because they'd fallen in love with each other while studying with him. He passed away about 14 years ago. In his will, he left them ownership of a small church, in an even smaller town, in Oregon. Along with the gift came a responsibility; being left such a building carried the implication that my parents would have to stay with it, practicing and striving for Nirvana, and converting townspeople, until a suitable owner was found to replace them.

Nobody suitable was ever found.

At the time we were living in the Trinity wilderness that made up northwest California. All dirt roads, bears and pine trees. Grove City, our new home, was considered rural by most standards, but we were coming from somewhere downright Paleolithic.

We bought a house about half a mile from the church. On what they called the "outskirts" of that town.

Grove City took some adjusting; our closest neighbor had formerly been miles away, and now we had four corners ringing us in, with families on the other side. The atmosphere in this town is hateful; meth labs fill the countryside, tweakers shoot and stab each other on the street. There’s a strong Klan presence, and most kids marry at 17. Over the past few years, my parents have been growing apart. More fights, Dad's been drinking more. Big hospital bills, after both of them fought cancer. My mom took me aside a month ago to say that she and Dad are probably going to divorce after I leave for college. I’d known deep down it was coming. Maybe it wasn’t the town’s fault; people fall out of love, after all; but something felt off about it.

I wasn't very affected when we left; at the time, I'd been 3, and Oregon is all I've known. But moving was really hard on my brother, “Sam.” In the woods, he'd had free reign, miles and miles of unsettled territory to play in. He used to plead with my parents that we go back to our old house, and when they said no he'd stay up crying. I don't know why he argued so much; we both knew they would never leave the church behind. He didn't try to make friends while here. A few found him anyways, before he went off to university studying something even he knew he hated. We weren't surprised when he dropped out.

*After death, the soul enters an intermediary state known as the Bardo. At this point, your soul’s the most vulnerable it will ever be.

Vulnerable to corruption.

If someone’s soul is corrupted in the Bardo, chances are, they’ll come back.*

I'd never managed to make many friends in our town; I'm quiet and awkward. But one girl, Sara, had seen through all that. She's had my back for the past two years, and between you and me, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life at her side.

About a month ago, I was driving home past the church, with Sara, when I noticed a light on upstairs.

It was about 12 am. Earlier, she'd done my makeup, and we wanted an audience to show off in front of, so we pranced around Walmart for an hour, laughing our asses off. People in this town aren't accustomed to a 6 ft 4, broad shouldered guy wearing eyeshadow and purple lipstick.

The light wasn't too concerning. We'd had some problems with homeless people recently. The back lawn of the church is massive, with an overgrown garden and easy access to a main road. The house was vacant at night, and the street wasn't busy. Most importantly, though, it was safe. Someone had been preying on vagrants. Normal haunts were found empty, and, according to the police, several missing persons reports had been filed. This isn't very uncommon; my criminology class had a unit on serial killers, and hobos are a typical target. It's likely none of those missing person cases will ever close.

*A powerful practitioner can deliberately corrupt the Bardo, even in life.

Corruptions in the Bardo awaken certain beings. Beings which feed on souls.

I believe one of these beings was awakened. And it’s been feeding ever since.*

I decided I should pop in and kick the guy out. I ask Sara to pull over, and I take out my keys. I go around the back, and groan when I realize the door's unlocked. My parents must've left it open earlier, and someone wandered in. I stepped over the frame, and looked around. I'd come in through the kitchen door.

On the bottom floor of the church was a kitchen and a large room the practitioners taught in. It was an old building. The kitchen floor was the newest part of that entire place; no creaking or groaning there. I took off my shoes, socked feet sliding over the cool tile. I could see the moon through high, wire-framed windows; it was fat and full, offering up more than enough light to make my way to the adjacent room.

I didn’t know I was hearing breathing at first; everything else, including my cushioned footsteps, was so quiet that all noises were amplified. It had a steady tone, very little variance, sorta like a fan. Then it started sucking in, tightening into something of a shriek, strained like it came from under a plastic bag.

Crossing over to the wall, I flipped the lights, and a pale hand from behind me turned it off again.

*Most traditional Buddhist texts won't discriminate between good and evil. According to them, the two are indistinguishable in normal situations.

The Book of the Dead isn't written for "normal situations."

If someone’s soul is corrupted in the Bardo, chances are, they’ll come back.*

My brother used to go camping with me, in our backyard. It was the closest thing to our old life that he could get, I think, and he loved it. I, on the other hand, hated being outside in the dark. When I was really young, maybe 5 or 6, I'd get so scared I'd start crying. To calm me down, Sam grabbed my shoulder and pointed to the sky. He picked out constellations for me, conjuring my favorite cartoon characters, so I wouldn't feel so alone. He thought it helped; really, it was just hearing his voice, and knowing someone human was within arm's reach, that calmed me.

There was nothing human in this house. I stood still in that darkness for a long time, believe me. But I did finally move forward. One agonizing step at a time. I could almost feel jaws closing around my limbs, knives raking into my flesh, reflective eyes watching at every angle. My feet fell hard, and they fell slow, and it felt like each footfall was into the mouth of a beast. Every movement I made was absolutely deliberate, yes, but at the same time incredibly hesitant.

Whatever was in there with me was behind, though, so I stalked forward, feeling corporeal resistance from the choking darkness, like coats in a closet. I didn't want to imagine the stretched and coiled figures I passed around. It must've been at least a dozen; the furniture squirmed and I realized it had been more of them, waiting for me; somehow I found my way across the room, at the staircase. Dim fluorescence filtered through the windows a level above me, falling over the steps.

At this point, my mind wasn't doing much other than recording what happened and trying not to think. I should've turned around; but of course I didn't. To go back into that blackness, where the low sounds of a motor were turning to whines, and sharp cracks echoed out to me, would be the bigger mistake.

The building had been a boarding house before the tulku converted it into a place of worship, and my parents hadn't done much remodeling since. Upstairs were bedrooms and a few closets, and the top floor was another kitchen. I made it to the second floor landing before looking back. At the bottom of the staircase, there was...something. I’m...not sure exactly what it was. It had a human shape, yes, it was man shaped, with ribs sticking out of bare skin and long arms holding onto the railing. It walked up slowly behind me. It was very deliberate, extremely deliberate. Its head had three fleshy horns on it, like a crown, and it watched me. Its upper body was always fixed on my position. I couldn’t quite make sense of that face; but I wasn’t sure why. And as I tore my eyes away, I noticed another dark figure standing at the end of the landing. I promptly booked it into the nearest room.

My parents kept their religion at church; with one exception. When Sam dropped out, he sat down with them, at our kitchen table, and bared his soul. He asked them for their advice; he didn't know what he was doing, but whatever it was didn't feel right. And they responded (in probably the most Buddhist way possible) by telling him to figure it out himself. Sam thought about it for a week, sleeping on our couch and watching the winter sun from a lawn chair. And, finally, he decided to find his answers on the roads. So, my brother emptied his savings into my account, and packed everything he had up in a spare room at the church. My parents were happy for him; but I was upset. It felt like losing your best friend.

Looking around, I realized I'd ducked into Sam's closet. As I closed the door and tripped over a cord, a voice rang out, and I almost had a heart attack. "You have two new messages:" Just the old phone. I'd knocked the receiver loose. Christ. "[My Dad's Name], it's Andy.” A family friend; and one of the biggest hippies I know. “So, I finally got the other teachers to open up, and I think I figured out why the tulku gave you guys the church.” What? We knew why. “You were right. He didn't mean for you to set up a practice; he wanted you to exorcise some kind of naga [a demon]. Some kind of 'red woman.'" I looked out the window; Sara's car was still there. I realized I had no idea what time it was anymore. This whole situation just kept getting better. "Fuck whoever translated his will, man. Who knows how much harm that thing's done in the past, what, dozen years? Guess this means you guys can leave that fucking town, after doing the deed." There was a pause. "Listen, I, I'm real sorry we didn't find out sooner. I know how you hate it there. Anyways. Best wishes." I sat down, dazed. Andy always called home, too. It was strange to think our house was just half a mile away. Maybe my parents were coming to perform the exorcism right now.

*A powerful practitioner can deliberately corrupt the Bardo.

This corruption can lure a naga into an exorcism.

It isn’t without danger.

Nagas have a vengeful streak.

They’ll eat away at a community for years, just to get at the practitioner.*

The phone beeped. "One new message." "Hey, this is Sam, just calling to let you all know I'm gonna be heading your way soon.” It was like hearing a ghost; and after what I’d seen, I’d know. “I think I found what I was after; I think I'm gonna go back to school. I don't know yet, though. Mostly I just want to see you guys. Especially Mark. Anyways. Just a friendly warning. I might camp out at your church. Called here cause I didn't know if your home number had changed, but I knew you'd never leave your faith behind.” He laughed. “Anyways. Goodbye." I wish it hadn’t been so brief. Both calls must've come in within the past few hours; my parents were here at church earlier, teaching, but I had been the first to listen to the messages. My mom or dad would’ve listened to the messages already had they come in earlier.

As I stood in the following silence, one of the shadows started...pooling. I can’t describe it much better; it grew darker and darker, splattering the choking body of a man onto the ground. The body lay between me and the door. It squirmed towards me erratically, like an epileptic. Knocking a stack of books onto it, vaulting over blankets and old video game cases, I fled to the hallway.

Andy must’ve called home to warn them by now. If my parents were coming soon, which I had to believe (I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car) I just had to last a bit longer in here. Down the stairs, the darkness in darkness still lurked; shadow people were on the second floor; so I ascended to the third. The floor which, if you recall, had had the light on.

I'm not sure what kinds of people would've lived in the church building, back when it was a boarding house; but apparently they really like rickety stairs and narrow hallways.

I opened the door onto the horned creature kneeling before a shrine. It had placed a red statue on top of two stacked chairs; candles flanked each side of the figure.

The creature spoke soft words.

"She's my friend, where I had no others. I talk to her on the edge of that black ocean. It'll swallow the world. I'll give it all to her."

There were lip prints down its viscous, alabaster shoulders, and I could see organs pulsing under its skin. It turned that strange face towards me, knocking the red statue off its altar. I saw now what had disfigured it; the whole front side was distorted, like a ship’s prow, or a bloody blade. It stepped towards me, silent.

I vividly remember the last time I saw my brother. We played a lot of video games back then, often late into the evening. That night, Sam set down his controller and turned to me. I kept playing for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. Then he spoke up. "I know this seems like home to you, but it never has for me. I can't claim to belong here, or anywhere, really." I kept silent. "And that's such a vital part of life, that just sort of living is hard for me. I've felt that way since I was 6 and you were, what, 3? I think you know that." I kept mashing buttons, spraying down aliens. "I say that because, no matter what, you've always been able to turn me around. You always know when I need it. And you're the only reason I've stuck around so long." Heads explode into pixels. "In more ways than one." I die. I set down my controller and turn to him. "Mark, I'm leaving. But it isn't because of you, okay? I-" I threw my arms around him. "Big fucking idiot," I muttered into his chest. I felt him smile.

*The soul makes its home where it feels loved. If, in life, your soul had no home, your body can corrupt the Bardo.

Corruptions attract certain beings, as rotten meat attracts maggots.

These beings can corrupt your body, like illness in a wound.*

The creature reached for me, but flew backwards, through its shrine.

Those corrupted by the Bardo can be freed, should a person with a strong enough soul come into contact with them.

The creature sat, broken and swaying. It began fading like old film. "Girl in a haunted church. Pretty...typical..." it said in a halting monotone. I was confused; then I realized I was still wearing the make-up. It stopped swaying for a moment. "M...ark...?" Oh my God. It was his voice.... The red statue had broken on the floor. Something was coming out of it.

My head split open and I fell inside of myself. It was a black plain, with a black sky.

Bardo.

It was endlessly, terrifyingly flat. The horizon was a flat line, and the earth made an even flatter line with the sea. I heard rolling waves; but they were different. Wrong. Before me, I beheld a red woman. She walked deliberately. The shoreline was suddenly close. Brine began to swim around my ankles, and something in it swam too. Her body looked like it had been turned inside out, it was such a vivid red. Skin, flesh, and face. Her hair was dark brown, and her lips smiled at me. She walked closer and closer, but I couldn't move anymore. The water had risen up to my waist; I realized now that the waves weren't flowing back to the black sea, just continuously rushing in. She leaned in, and I heard her say, in a mother's voice, "Not yet." I had one more thought, about the black ocean swallowing the world, before she kissed my cheek and the things beneath the surface dragged my mind back into time.

The room, and the church, was empty when I came to. My brother, the bladed man, had been haunting the house. He was the root of this corruption, that trapped the vagrants. The naga had only been lured in. It caused none of the suffering. That was all Sam. I freed him. And upon his liberation, the other souls fled too. I didn’t understand any of this as I climbed back to Sara's car. God I love her. She'd been waiting for half an hour, scared shitless. She asked about the lip marks burned into my cheek, and I asked her to drive us to the police station. I didn't say much more. She and I haven't spoken since; I don't know what to say to her anymore. I so wish I did, but I really don't.

Over the next few days, they exhumed dozens of bodies from the overgrown garden. Including one which I identified as my brother's. I wonder about the cause of death, which for all the victims seemed to be some cancerous reaction, fusing organs together into new growths and bursting them open, their carcasses broken and corrupted.

I know, though, why the naga appeared. My parents took me aside after visiting the morgue, and told me that he and I were both born tulkus. We had far more spiritual ability than normal people; but my parents wanted us to live lives on our own terms, not being forced into Buddhist practice. So they never told us. When Sam had put away his things in the church, his soul brushed against the naga. It spent years trying to lure him back, killing the other vagrants along the way. The only reason I could free him was because my soul was even stronger.

All that doesn't matter. Most importantly, my brother is gone. There’s no one to hold my shoulder and point out constellations. There’s no one to play video games with. His future, all his worrying, was for nothing. He lived almost his whole life out of place, in anguish, wanting to die, but I know that at the end he wanted to live.

And he didn't.

These days I've been reading a lot, to try and make sense of it all.

Particularly the Book of the Dead.

The naga is still out there. Make no mistake, I will find her. And when I do, I’ll be prepared.

[thecelebritystatus]

  Aminata Schmahl-Pankey better known as Amina Buddafly, was born on April 18th, 1983 in Hamburg, Germany to a German mother and a Senegalese father. Being blessed with a multicultural parents produced a beautiful, unique individual.

Amina’s eyes opened up to a world of different opportunities which helped cultivate her values, culture and music tastes early in life.   Amina did not come into the world alone. Amina shared the womb with her twin sister Safietou also know as Jazz. Amina also has an older sibling by the name of Sophie. The trio formed the group Black Buddafly. The three sisters gained success and worldwide notoriety. Soulful ballads, magical voices and endless beauty were contributing factors to the group’s success.

Amina is no stranger to the bright lights, big city and of course music. Amina is an accomplished vocalist and she also plays different instruments. Amina decided to branch out on her own and go solo. Opportunity knocked and Amina opened the door. Amina reemerged like a butterfly out of a cocoon and spread her wings. Amina is still soaring by leaps and bounds. Beautiful and talented, nothing but success awaited her.

In 2013, Amina Buddafly, joined the cast of Love and Hip Hop New York created by mogul Mona Scott- Young.  While we all know Reality TV can bring aplethora of opportunity and stardom, it can also be emotionally challenging. Mrs. Pankey decided to roll with the punches.

Amina Buddafly entered the show as an artist/protege of rapper and fellow cast mate Peter Gunz,  For those who do not know, Peter Gunz was part of a rap group in the 90s (Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz) Peter gained street and hip hop notoriety for the song DejaVu (Uptown Baby). While on Love and Hip Hop, the ratings soared while we took a bird’s eye view, watched from the outside looking in at Amina’s life.  As many of the viewers may know, simple life situations can easily turn into a full-blown quagmire. Simple misunderstandings can turn into major fall outs.  So, while Amina and Peter worked on music, working in close proximity, they also fell in love.

As the audience, some of us sat and judged, questioning motives and decisions, but at the end of the day the heart wants, what the heart wants and if any of us were in that triangular situation, who knows how we would have handled it. Once a week on Love and Hip Hop New York, we watched this young woman wear her heart on her sleeve and bare her soul, how could you NOT love Amina !? Amina is here for the Win!

  One of my favorite songs that I am assuming was produced during that pivotal time in her in Peter’s relationship was ” Don’t Wanna Be Right” We watched their relationship grow and blossom, then fail, wither, then come alive again in full bloom,  all from the comfort of our living room couches.   Needless to say, the couple loved each other, got married, had drama with Peter’s other kids’ mother, Peter going back and forth between Amina and Tara, that produced more children, with both women! It was a roller coaster ride, but Bayyyybeee, I was there for it! I felt Amina’s rise and falls, her triumph and heartbreak. I wanted to dry her tears and break open and bottle of wine with baby girl.  I wanted her to win!

The love, the lust, the infidelity, the torment. We can only imagine the trials and tribulations that Amina had to endure. Through it all, Amina, continued to put out great music. Life happens and continues after the cameras stopped rolling. Let’s take a walk with Amina, let’s see where this talented woman has been up to?

  Hey Amina, thank you for the taking the time out of your busy schedule to interview. You look amazing as always. Let’s start from 2017 and work our way back shall we?

Cappucine- Ok darling, let’s talk abut your book “The Other Woman” that is currently available on Amazon. What prompted you to write a book?  Will there be any jaw dropping, juicy tidbits for the readers?

Amina- My book came about because of my emotional state, I was going through a time where I was too pained to create music but I needed an outlet and writing my thoughts and my story became my own therapy. It was a great experience and something that wasn’t planned. I am proud of the outcome. Proud of how honest and open I was. I cannot read the book back without getting emotional and that is when I know i wrote from my soul. There are a lot of things in the book which will make people understand my moves, my decisions better. That was all I ever wanted to be understood.

Cappucine- Baybeee,I can’t wait to read your book. I know it will be a real pager turner! So, I came across one of your songs off the Music In My Room album called “Our Song” .What inspired you write that song?

Amina-That particular song was about an ex of mine. He inspired me writing it. The feeling of being in love. It’s a positive song unlike a lot of my others, yet it’s very heartfelt and sentimental. 

Cappucine- Yeah, that song touched me, In my opinion, you make feel good music. Your voice is soulful. I truly feel  the authenticity. Your music gives me a 90’s feel good, soul, jazz, r-n-b  vibe with dopeness sprinkled all around the tracks, You know the type of music you feel from your head down to your toes. What and Who inspired you to be an artist?

Amina- Mariah Carey. Number one inspiration. I wanted to be nothing but like her when I was a teenager. Her vocals her arrangements and the delivery back in the 90s was just amazing to me. 

But besides that here are tons of other singers and groups and writers who made me wanna sing. Too many to name…

Cappucine- Yes, I agree. Mariah can blow. I do my best sunging in the shower! LOL. If you had a chance to do a collaboration with any artist in the world, who would it be.

Amina-Robin Thicke, Sara Bareilles and Linda Perry

Cappucine- Good choices Amina. I just love Robin Thicke! Not only do you sing, I see that you have other talents. What instruments to you play? Are you self taught?

Amina- A hundred percent self-taught , I play guitar and keys

Cappucine- You go boo! What advice would you give anyone trying to break into the entertainment industry?

Amina- Same advice I give myself everyday.. (and need to listen a little bit more to , lol) Get on your game! Perfect your craft, better your skill. Be the best you can be. Then put it out there. Get out there. Whatever way possible. Social media is huge. But also go out, attend events, open mica, whatever the case… present yourself. And if you are good you will connect to people and with people.

Cappucine-Great Advice. I know you are of German and Senegalese descent,  You grew up in Germany, have you visited Senegal?

Amina- I have never been to Senegal and it is on my bucket list. Tons of relatives I have never met!

Cappucine- I know when you finally go, it will be super cool.  The food, the culture, What is your favorite German food? What is your favorite African food? (being a Ghananian woman, I love Jollof rice lol)

Amina- I don’t know much about German food. But the food in general is better out there in my opinion. Things like milk, bread, pastrys, chocolate, ect…African food , hmmmm, my dad never used to cook so I don’t know

Cappucine- No worries, next time I make some African food, I will give you some. You will love it, LOL What languages do you speak?

Amina- I speak German and English 

Cappucine -Do you feel that being on Love and Hip Hop New York helped your career or hindered it in any way? What are the pros and cons of reality TV?

Amina- It helped.I have a much bigger fan base. Period. Nothing more needs to be said. People ask me this all the time. Yes the distraction was there with the tv show but like I said before when you’re good people will connect, no matter how you were introduced to the world. What matters is the real you.Cons would definitely be the judgement people pass on you every day. And dealing with that.

Cappucine- Will there be a Black Buddafly reunion? What are Jazz and Sofie up to?

Amina- We had a black Buddafly reunion not too long ago when we released our EP “we r” We will surely sing together again but right now they both are working on their solo projects just like me

  Cappucine- Give me an example of a day in the life of Amina Buddafly?

Amina- Wake up. Feed my kids. Get them dressed. Head out to the park or school on school days, or to the gym (I take them with me)

Then make lunch, do my emails in between, do my endorsements for the day… clean up… sometimes do meetings/sometimes events… run errands.. take the kids out again…and at night I either try to work on music at home or sometimes go to the studio when I have a sitter it always depends there is not a typical day they’re always different. By my main focus is always to make sure my kids are having fun and everything they need. Then it’s me.

Cappucine-Talk to me about motherhood.  Cori and Bronx are so beautiful  How are you able to balance, motherhood, career and being a celebrity  efficiently? Any tips for the moms out there ? 

 Amina- It’s hard. Very hard. I barely get to do stuff for me but that is okay. I have accepted that I am moving at slower paste. I just try to make sure not to forget about me. I take time for me like 3 days a week. I call my Sitter to take them and I do whatever I feel like doing. Most of he time something productive.

I always tell moms as long as you don’t stop, you’re good. It doesn’t matter how fast you move. Just don’t stop

Cappucine- You always look fit and beautiful. What is your secret? What is your regimen?

Amina-I just love being active. And the kids make sure that I am. I don’t even have to try… although I do go to the gym but twice maybe 3 times a week. I love switching it up… I do yoga!

I’m just not someone to sit at home all day… we are always out and that keeps me in shape.

Cappucine- Let’s Talk about Mr Pankey….

Cappucine- What was your breaking point with Peter? What made you stay with him after the infidelity?

Amina-You can find out what made me stay after infidelity by reading my book. That’s an answer that cannot just be answered like that. That is why I wrote the book. Because I wanted to know myself. And I got my answers…

Breaking point was when he had a baby on me.

Cappucine- What is your current relationship with Peter like? Is there a possibility of reconciliation?

Amina- Right now we are still married but separated.

I’ve taken my own steps to moving on. And they were real steps. I mean moving across the country is one of the biggest steps toward letting someone go and I don’t care what anyone says. There is the emotional connection and then there is the physical one. Even if one of them takes longer. I’m in process… and I decided that I needed to make a change like that to move in another direction. I can say that a year later we still love each other but it is “different”.

Cappucine- For the men out there that want to know? Is Amina single? What qualities do you look for in a man?

Amina- I am. I just need to like the guy. And he has to be able to teach me something. He has to know things that I don’t. That is a must. He also has to have something special. Whatever that may be.

I don’t have a type. I am into connections. Not a look. 

Cappucine- Are you and Tara on good terms? Are you ladies successful at having a blended family?

Amina-We are on good terms and get together whenever we are in the same state!

 Cappucine-Where do you see your career in the next 5 years? What are your goals?

Amina- I see myself continuing to put out great music.. make money… and being a great mom.

Becoming happy. That is success to me.

Cappucine- Any tours? Show dates?

Amina-A few spot dates as of now and a few book dates as well.. I always post on social media @aminabuddafly

Cappucine-Any closing thoughts?

Amina-I love my fans ️

  Candid: Love & Hip Hop Star Amina Buddafly & Cappucine Talk Life Aminata Schmahl-Pankey better known as Amina Buddafly, was born on April 18th, 1983 in Hamburg, Germany to a German mother and a Senegalese father. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #229

“goddamn, need some help, ‘cuz my girlfriend’s in love with someone else.”

What would you consider to be the worst television channel out there? Idk. I don't watch TV. Are you currently sitting on your bed or some other place? Where? I'm lying in my bed. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house? What kind? No. When was the last time you were somewhere that offered free Wi-Fi? Today/technically yesterday but w/e. My school offers it free, but the connection isn't strong. Do you know anyone who is on drugs? Are you personally on them? I mean, I know people with prescriptions of course. If you mean illicit drugs, yes. I don't take them. Name one interesting fact about yourself that people might not know about? Uhhhh I used to be a dancer. Do you ever have to write down a phone number to remember it, or not? Oh yeah, I don't even have my own phone number memorized. Who was the last person you talked to on an instant messaging service? Hm. Oh, Facebook says the friend of my sister whose wedding I shot. I did it like, two or three or so years ago and she wanted to know if I had the raw photos I took, and I'd literally JUST cleaned out my OneDrive a couple days ago, so they were deleted. Talk about bad timing. What color are your curtains? Are you satisfied with this color? Maroon. Yeah. Does your phone have texting? How many times a day do you text, estimate? Yeah, and I don't have a clue. Sara and I generally text all throughout the day. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Uhhh over a year ago or something. Was the only time. It was just a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. Do you think the media can further manipulate our teenagers anymore? Ohhhh, I'm sure it could get even worse. Who would you consider to be your favorite American Idol on the show? I've watched so little of that show. Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced? Does it look painful? I know two, off the top of my head. And I mean, a piercing is a needle shoved into your skin. It's obviously painful to a degree. I'd imagine the septum to be more painful than a lot considering the thick cartilage. Has anyone ever complimented you on your singing? Did you believe them? Yeah, and I dunno. I don't generally like my singing voice, but I think I sing some songs okay. Do you know someone who constantly tries to embarrass you on all occasions? Omg no, I could never handle someone like that with how poorly I handle embarrassment. Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain? Did it seem romantic at the time? Yeah, and I guess, only really because it's an "accepted" thing as romantic. Something you're taught young. What is one part on your body that hurts at this moment, if anything? Nothing, at the moment. What was the last song you listened to? Did you enjoy this song? This metal medley I adore of Shadow of the Colossus pieces is on rn. What is your heritage? Do you have a bunch of mixed heritages? German, Irish, and Polish. When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? I didn't really *listen* to it, but some ass was blaring his rap music in FYS today. Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? NO, do NOT. That shit is noooot a joke. People have died. Do you ever countdown to anything? Not really, at least not seriously. Who was the last person to visit your house besides family? A friend of mine and Mom's, Randy. My rat Mitsu apparently fell or something, and her teeth were knocked crooked, and they became grossly overgrown and had to be clipped. He works at a wildlife rehab clinic and is overall just real experienced with animals. It was so awful though, seeing her like that. He's coming over about once a month now to keep them clipped; he's quite sure she has... damn, what was it? Metabolic bone disease (very common in rats), I think, that will push her teeth to keep growing. I can't remember exactly what he said, but. Are you allowed to watch rated R movies? I'm... nearing 24, lmao. How many bedrooms are in your house? Two. Do you see more of your mom or dad’s side of the family more? Mom's. I see both very rarely since they live states away, but yeah, Mom's. I haven't seen anyone in Dad's fam since I was a little kid. Are there any tattoos that you really want to get? lol got a few hours to talk? Do you really believe that everyone has a soul mate? Definitely not. You are compatible with sooooo many people. Do alligators scare you? I mean I wouldn't walk in front of one or anything, but as animals themselves, no. I think they're cool as fuck. Dinosaurs, man. Do you have abs? *ugly wheezing laughter* Have you ever been in detention? Twice I think, but only for too many tardies arriving at school. Do you believe in vampires? Uh no. Can you play the guitar? Not anymore. Have you ever kissed someone while they were dating someone else? Wow, no. Do you like hot dogs? Sadly. Are glasses a turn on or turn off for you? I don't care. Do you have a hot tub? Darling we poor. Would you ever try one of those dating websites? I like to pretend that one time NEVER fucking happened. I very much doubt I would again. Do you like to be tickled? Ew no don't. When’s the last time you flew a kite? Not since I was little. Do you ever take a bath and eat food at the same time? ... Does anyone do that?? Do you hate long surveys? No, I prefer them. I just do them over time. Gives me something to do... and I also don't spam where I share them. Do you like the taste of blood? UM no. Has anyone ever given you flowers? Yeah. When was the last time you swam in a lake? Wowie, I couldn't possibly guess. Who was the first friend you made in Junior High? That's a good question. Maybe Hannia? If you could learn any language, what would it be? GERMAN. I wanna be fluent. When was the last time someone asked you your age? Uhhh idk. Have you ever been on a train? No. Has anyone ever tried to physically fight you? No, but one girl literally told me she almost punched me. I used to hate her more than anyone in the world because she's Jason's ex and really hurt him, and yet now we're friends, lmao. Oh, how things can change. When was the last time you were angry? Last night because my headache wouldn't fuck off. What’s your worst subject in school? Math. I'm failing like, badly. What’s your favorite genre of music? Metal. Have you ever been called too skinny? OH MOST DEFINITELY NOT. Do you prefer analog or digital clocks? Analog clocks are way more aesthetically pleasing, but digital are more convenient. Do you have any stickers decorating your computer? Bruh I have tape, get on my fckng level. Tell me about the last nightmare you remember having. It was about seeing my grandma, who's really beginning to suffer from her chemo. What snacks do you usually get at the cinemas? Popcorn and a drink, then rarely a candy. Usually Sour Patch Kids. What scent is the deodorant you use? That's. A good question. I haven't payed attention. What did you last receive in the mail? The book Sara sent me. What is your favorite kind of fruit? Strawberries. How far away do you live from your place of birth? Like... 10-ish minutes? Have you ever been in a police car? Only when being transferred from the ER to psyche hospitals. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I draw a line through them. Or circle them. Depends on the font and size, really. Have you ever sewn something? Idk how to sew. Name a CD you have or one you would like to have. Ha ha, the very first CD I personally bought was the "You're Awful, I Love You" album by Ludo. When I knew like, only three songs, ahaha. Have you ever watched an episode of Barney? I loved him as a kid, so, y'know. Can you name more than five U.S. presidents? Yeah, but I definitely don't know a lot. Are any of your neighbors’ yards in desperate need of a grass cutting? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yessir. What does your mother’s wallet look like? What about your dad’s? Idk. I don't pay attention to Mom's and I very rarely see Dad. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom and one of my school advisors. And people who walked into the library. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? He may still want to be, idk. It doesn't matter though. Does your ex hate you? The only ex I have that I think might is Jason. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to? Girt. Does anyone call you babe? Sara sometimes. Is your school’s mascot an animal? Yes. All my schools' were, lol. What would happen if you were stuck in an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest for? I don't want to imagine it. Do you think that hair extensions and colored contacts make a person fake? Oh my god. Where do your hands go during kissing? I mean that. Depends. Generally just around a person's sides. Conservative or liberal? I'm such a mix. Do you have unlimited texting? Ye. Were you ever in the spelling bee? Never been a part of one. Do you dress suggestively? No. A very explicit song you’ve listened to recently? Ahaha, "Love Rhymes With Fuck You" by Jeffree Star is on right now and it is. Intense. When did you last see someone you know in public? Errrrr good question. Do you think you’d survive if zombies took over the world? Hell no. If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? The meerkat RP I've done since I was 10. My friends and I have made novels upon novels worth of stories. Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? No. Are you an impatient person? YEP!!!!!!!!! Are you afraid to watch movies that have sex scenes with your friends? Friends, no. It's awkward with family, though. Who sings the last song you listened to? Jeffree Star. Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? No, other than being a blind mfkr. Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes. Don't have one as I don't really care for it. Do you have sensitive teeth? Yes. Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? Nah. And I mean at the dentist they numb you, so not really. When did you last talk seriously with one of your parents? I have no clue. Does anyone ever say they miss you often? Sara. I mean we talk all the time, but she means like, physically being there. Would you rather become a wizard or a vampire, if you had the choice? Idk. I like vampires more, but a wizard sounds funner. Have you already moved out of your parents’ house? I've talked about the apartment situation enough. Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Divorced. Have you ever thought you might just have obsessive compulsive disorder? I'm diagnosed with it. Do you think it’s rude to text someone else while on a date? YEAH. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? White Chicks never fails to get me. Has one of your websites ever quit operating or shut down? Were you sad? Recently the site I used to upload large .gifs I needed to use online shut down & I'm still mega tilted. There's probably others. Who is the person you talk to the most in your house? I only live with my mom. Is there a television show out there that you never miss? No. What movie have you seen too many times to be healthy? Ha ha, The Lion King I & 2 and Finding Nemo. What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Take care of my pets. How cold did it get where you live, last winter? Idr. Very, for NC anyway. Do you ever wonder what your exes are doing? I only ever wonder about Jason. Have you ever been caught in a huge lie with your parents? Never told a biggie lie to 'em. Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? No. Are you sober at the time being? Yeah. Have you ever lied to someone & said they could sing when they couldn’t? Possibly? Are you more tolerant of hot or cold weather? Describe a time when you were extremely cold? Describe a time when you were extremely over-heated? I handle the cold far, FAR better. I physically cannot last very long in like, even 80 degrees. The coldest I've probably ever been was when Sara and I were walking once up at her house and it was really windy. I think the absolute most over-heated I've been was when I was taking bridal shots of my sister's friend outside in the summer for a long long time. I was nearly to the point of tears and was absolutely soaked in sweat. When we got back in the car, I literally finished at least three water bottles in a very short period of time. I think I even downed half of another. What was something weird that you did as a child? Did anyone make fun of you for it? Were there any other children you knew who did the same thing? I actually created this trend in elementary school of digging tunnels in the sandbox with my hands because I wanted to feel like a meerkat, lol. No one made fun of me, I think? And as stated it kinda became a thing, so yeah, there were others. What has been the hardest thing about growing up? What was the easiest thing about it? Was there ever a time when you wanted to stay young forever? Was there ever a time when you wished that you could be older? Accepting my mental illnesses was by far the hardest. Easiest, uh... idk. Enjoying more freedom? There was definitely a time I wanted to be a kid forever; I remember I criiiied when I got my period for the first time because I didn't feel like one anymore. Simultaneously, there were certainly times I wanted to be older. Who was the last person you yelled at? Do you often yell at this person? Are you on good terms with them again, or are you still upset with them? I practically roared at Mom for pulling the rudest shit on me like a month or so back. I definitely don't yell at her a lot. We're on good terms now, yeah. If you work, do you get along with your coworkers? Which one of them have you known the longest? Is your current place of work somewhere that you plan to stay for a long time? Sadly no, so these questions are N/A. Name three items that have much sentimental value to you. Who gave you these items, and for what occasion? Do you ever have a harder time throwing away things that people have given you? My pebble from Holly Hill, my childhood plush moose Brownie that I got in Ohio, and the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. It's not really because of it being from him, but rather because it comforted me deeply after the break-up. The little guy is so worn from all the love I gave it. I do have a hard time getting rid of things people give me. Who do you speak with more often: your online friends, or those that you see face-to-face? Of which type of friend do you have more? Which of those friendships do you value the most? Online to all three questions. Are you often misunderstood, or do you think that people can get where you are coming from pretty well? Do you think that you have a good ability to understand others? If yes, explain? Eh, idk, really. I feel like I don't communicate how I feel well enough, but I think people understand me decently. Most, anyway. I know I'm pretty good and relating to people. When was the last time that you had a headache? What did you do, if anything, to help it feel better? Which is worse for you: headaches or stomach aches? As previously mentioned, last night. I took medicine, but it was sleep that actually helped. AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH STOMACH ACHES. Gimme a headache over that shit any day. Have you ever had a crush on someone you met online? If yes, what happened between you and that person? Do you think that online relationships are legitimate relationships? Yes, and we're dating now lol. And of course I do!! Out of all of your past friendships and romantic relationships, which one was the worst? If that person were to show up at your place, would you be willing to talk to them? Friendship: Colleen. No, I wouldn't talk to her. Romantic: Tyler, but I mean sure, I'd talk to him. Well, Jason was the traumatic one, but the *relationship*, on my end, was a fairytale. It was the breakup that was... yeah, y'all know. Yeah, I'd be willing to talk to him, but quite honestly I'd probably end up collapsing into a sobbing heap because yeah PTSD. If any, how many friends have you made in the past year? How many have you lost? Is making friends something at which you are good, or does it take you awhile to form friendships? I've made a couple friends online, and I lost none, I think anyway. I can be someone's friend very easily, but it's the trust that really takes a while. If you are 18 or older, did reaching your 18th birthday make you feel like you were an adult? If not, what moment (or moments) made you feel like you were finally maturing? I don't remember, honestly. As a kid, did your parents force you to eat everything on your plate? If you had them, how did you feel about family meal times? If you were to have children, would you have structured meals with them? Well, Mom tried, but my picky ass usually won, lol. Some days I miss family dinners, other days I'm glad to do my own thing. If I were to have kids, I'd probably want to have family dinners, really. What was the last new thing that you tried? What is something you did a long time ago that you might like to do again? I don't know. I don't try new things often. From my past... I dunno. It's too late to think of all this stuff. What is your least favorite part about going to the doctor? What about going to the dentist? Which of those people would you rather see? THE GODDAMN WAIT. My dentist is usually pretty quick, so that's not typically a problem there. Instead, I fucking hate when I have to get x-rays done because I have a very small mouth, and the things they stick in your cheeks to bite down on are always way too big for me. I have to use a size down from adults. Do you ever take care of anyone younger than you (ie. babysitting, watching a younger sibling, etc)? Do you like doing this, or does it get to be a hassle? No, and hell no.

[elby-manga-addicted]

Tag Questionnaire!

Tagged by: @the-frustrated-muggleborn

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke

2. Disney or Dreamworks: I CANT. CHOOSE.

3. Coffee or tea: Tea

4. Books or movies: books, even though movies can have amazing visuals and music, the fact that you can choose how to imagine the much richer story in a book wins me over :p

5. Windows or mac: Windows, duh!

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel

7. X-box or Playstation: I don’t have either, but I think that what I used to play on at my cousin’s house was a Playstation, so...

8. Dragon age or Mass effect: YOU EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE??! I suppose I’ve played dragon age a lot more hours than mass effect but that’s just because Mass Effect is so heavy on my emotions... In terms of story, worldbuilding and characters I literally could never choose between these two! D:

9. Night owl or early riser: Night owl, hoot hoot!

10. Cards or chess: I’ve always liked the aesthetic of chess but even though my brother once tried to teach me, I couldn’t play it to save my life, so... cards! XD

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

12. Vans or converse: Converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: I’ll have to go with Adaar because qunari are just too cool and I was beyond excited to hear we’d get to play as one :3

14. Fluff or angst: Angst with fluff on the end. I won’t settle for one without the other!

15. Beach or forest: Forest

16. Dogs or cats: CATS!!! I love dogs too, but nothing can ever beat cats :p

17. Clear skies or rain: depends... If the sky is truly clear then I prefer that, but if there are clouds that are reflecting the sun I’d like dark rainclouds better. (Because I’m super sensitive to light and get migraines from white skies D: )

18. Cooking or eating out: cooking

19. Spicy food or mild food: mild food

20. Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Christmas!

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Too cold, then I’d have an excuse to cover myself in blankets 24/7!

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: stopping time for everyone except myself. God knows I could use more time.

23. Animation or live action: as an animation student I feel obligated to say animation XD

24. Paragon or renegade: I’m like... 80% paragon but when my morals are challenged I can turn full on renegade.

25. Baths or showers: Showers

26. Team cap or team ironman: Team cap

27. Fantasy or sci-fi: FANTASY IS LOVE, FANTASY IS LIFE.

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: “No one is you and that’s your power” -Dave Grohl, “rock bottom became the solid foundation upon which I rebuilt my life” -J.K. Rowling,  “ When the last tree is cut, the last fish is caught, and the last river is polluted; when to breathe the air is sickening, you will realize, too late, that wealth is not in bank accounts and that you can’t eat money.” - Alanis Obomsawin,  “I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.” -Terry Pratchett

29. Youtube or netflix: Youtube (I do wish I had netflix though...)

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter

31. When you feel accomplished: When I’ve made strides towards my ambitions and have something to show for it.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Another impossible choice! Star Trek is so nostalgic for me and it always reminds me of quality time spent with my family, but Star Wars is more actively present in my life right now...

33. Paperback books or hardback books: Hardback! They’re not at all as practical as paperbacks but OH MY GOD THE AESTHETIC! It’s so satisfying to hold those books~

34. Horror or rom-com: rom-com! (when will I be able to see queer romcoms???)

35. TV shows or movies: I’m gonna go with tv shows, there’s more to savour and usually more in-depth storylines and characters.

36. Favorite animal: CATS. After that tigers, pandas, butterflies and possibly squids. I’m also quite fond of majestic birds like peacocks, ostriches, eagles and small ones like nightingales :3

37. Favorite genre of music: uhhh my taste in music is so widespread and random! I love some punk, some pop, some metal, a lot of soundtracks and instrumental music and kpop as well!

38. Least favorite book: “Geen wonder dat moeder met de goudvissen praat” by Ed Franck and equally horrible is “Doornroosje’s honden” bij Willy Spillebeen . I had to read these like 5 years ago for school and I still haven’t gotten over the trauma. (In case you’re wondering, the titles translate to “No Surprise Mother Talks To The Goldfish” and “Sleeping Beauty’s Dogs”. The first is the diary of a teenage boy who’s vulgarly in love with his female teacher and it has the most distasteful illustrations. The Second book is about a little girl who’s mother is in a financially sticky situation and the child is confused about everything and eventually kills herself by taking a dozen of her mother’s sleeping pills so that she can be like sleeping beauty but be awoken by her dad. Both were an absolute pain to read.)

39. Favourite season: winter, but only if it snows. Otherwise autumn. (I mean I like them all but summer is too warm and sunny so it gives me headaches and in spring I sneeze all the time due to hay fever. Sure there’s less animals in the other two and the white clouds give me headaches as well, but it’s pretty and it gets darker doon :p)

40. Song that’s currently stuck in your head: “Shiny”  from Moana XD

41. What kind of pyjama’s do you wear: My Totoro onesie! Or equally fluffy hp PJs. Or when it’s hotter I wear adorable shorts or baggy PJ pants and a top. (I get excited over PJ’s. I have waaayyy to many of them but it just makes me eager to go to bed and it’s so cosy and everything!)

42. How many existential crisis do you have on an average day: Like... 6?

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: Either “I Was Here” by Beyoncé or “What Do I Know” by Sara Groves

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show: the first Winx Club into!!

45. Harry Potter movies or books: Books! The movies are great but there’s so much depth that they’re missing! And some of the characters are just portrayed completely wrong (*cough* Ginny *cough*)

46. Favorite traditional food from your family: Either fries with roasted chicken and loads of veggies, or the family recipe cake that my mother taught me when I was 5!

47. Favorite decade from 1900-now: Uhhh how should I know? I’ve only lived in 2 decades! :p I suppose the now is best for me since equal rights and mentally ill people are no longer put in asylums and stuff.

48. Worst habit?: Putting off important things because of my anxiety or thinking “oh, I’ll respond to this later” and then never doing it.

49. Teach an old person to use the internet or stay for a week with a kid stuck in the “why” phase?: both could potentially be adorable and loads of fun! So it doesn’t really matter to me. 50. Who’s your favorite painter?: My grandpa! I’ve looked up to him all my life and not a single painter who’s work I’ve encountered in art history or musea can compete! (I’m biased, I know). If I had to choose someone else I’d either say René Magritte, the Van Eyck brothers or Kinko White (If you’re a Tolkien fan and like aquarel paintings, GO LOOK THESE UP!). 51. Favourite flower?: Wisteria and water lilies.

52. Boots or sneakers?: Boots~

53. Abroad or at home?: Home is where the cat is, so HOME.

54. Three places that you want to visit in the world: In this world? Japan, The Niagara Falls and somewhere I can see the northern lights!

My question: 55: If you were immortal and could choose one person to spend eternity with, who’d you choose?: I’d pick my cat!

Tagging: I’m not about to tag 55 people, but I’ll tag a few~

@zuzumi @x-ello-x @leftski @definitelynotclayface @thelargemagellaniccloud @bellatrixstolethetardis @momo-tan @virtualtaleinternet @nathankoekenpan​   @karelopteynde​ @that-one-asexual-fangirl​ @captainthingsandstuff​

(you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to though! I don’t want to pressure

[fesahaawit]

6 Great $$$ Ideas To Steal

One of the best things about blogging is starting conversations, and then watching all your smarty pants friends chime in with clever ideas of their own ;)

I’ve been collecting a handful of them over the months, and thought today was as good a day as any to share them around so that you guys can steal them too.

Hope they help!

Idea #1: No more gifts please, 529 only!

I have been searching for a LONG LONG time to come up with a (polite) way to stop getting gifts from family and friends without making it awkward for anyone. Some years are better than others, and it has been getting better over time (for example, now at Christmas we only focus mainly on the *kids*), but I have yet to find that magic bullet that non only pleases the givers (since, after all, they get joy out of it too) but also satisfies my minimalist/essentialist ideals too.

Enter Paul’s idea, which I’m beyond excited to try! (He left this in response to my slacking on our kids’ 529 plans without even realizing I was in desperate need of a better form of gift giving too :))

I have relied a lot on my family to help with 529s. I basically just tell them not to ever get me a present because it will be something that I don’t want and will end up sitting in my basement till I get around to donating it one day. Just tell them to give to your kids 529s instead. Strategy has worked so far. My 9 year old has close to 50K, 7 year old close to 40k, 3 year old has about 10 and my new born has less than 1k…

Some people institute a no gift policy to avoid collecting clutter, I simply took it a step further and asked for a specific gift or nothing… Family tends to be more generous in giving doing this as well.

It’s so brilliant, isn’t it? The givers get to give and know it’s 100% not only what you *want*, but also *need*, and at the same time their grandchildren/nephews/nieces/pals/whatever they are to you get helped too!

And on top of that, they still get to buy the kids toys or whatever since this was “dad’s” gift so they’ll still smile back and love all over you ;) Totally trying this with the next holiday – will report back!

Idea #2. Spend something, save something!

This idea comes from Stefanie O’Connell who dropped it on our post the other week about being able to save more if you’re spending everywhere. Here’s her idea:

I’m not totally against lifestyle inflation. I think some sensible improvements are reasonable, but it is SUCH a slippery slope. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to find the balance. Somewhat similar to this reader, I’ve toyed with a system of matching any new expenses with additional savings before upgrading. For example, if I’m going to start getting a massage once a month. I won’t consider myself able to ‘afford it’ until I can build both the cost of the massage and match that with an additional contribution to my savings, into my budget. TBD on how this method works out.

TBD or not, I think that’s awesome. It gives you full permission to spend and enjoy yourself, while at the same time doing the responsible thing! The more you spend, the more you save, and the less you spend the more you STILL save! (I think I got that right? ;)) I’ll have to go xfer out $2.60 now which I just spent on this delicious Starbucks coffee I’m downing, haha…

Idea #3: “Do I want to clean this thing?”

I loooooove me some self-reflecting questions whenever you’re about to buy something. We’ve covered a lot of them here on the site (I’ll list them below) but here’s a new one that I’ve never heard as yet – by fellow blogger ZJ Thorne:

“I’m a big fan of asking myself if I’d like to clean/maintain the item before purchasing it. So much is not bought this way.”

YES!! And not only with “stuff”, but with pets too. Sooooo many people pick them up on a whim without even thinking or realizing the level of responsibility that comes with it – myself very much included back in the day :( I can’t even imagine how poorly I treated those poor guys looking back, ugh…

But, a great question to ask yourself for sure. Not only to save some money, but to avoid any stress and clutter down the road the item might bring too! Here are similar questions we’ve posed over the years too that might help:

“Would you go out and buy it again?”

 “Would I wear this out of the dressing room right now?”

“Would you rather have this, or straight up cash money?”

Idea #4: Separate out your recurring expenses with your variable expenses

Here’s another idea from the same Paul above (how come he doesn’t have a $$$ blog yet??), which he left on our article on how avoiding debt is much more important than your credit score (true fact):

“Instead of going the credit route, I have thought about opening a second checking account specifically for non recurring and variable expenses (i.e. groceries, amazon, walmart, etc…). That way I could make certain I had enough for recurring bills (i.e. mortgage, phone, internet, etc…). Then if my wife or I went to walmart and got declined because we weren’t paying attention, it would have no effect on the mandatory bills we pay. Also, in the event our card number was stolen it wouldn’t mean our mortgage went into default.”

So smart! Most of your necessities would be covered with checking account #1 (recurring) making you feel pretty comfortable, and then whatever’s left over in account #2 you can do with as you please – knowing when it’s gone it’s gone. It also saves you in the event of a hacking too, as mentioned, which at some point *will* occur of course because people are complete a-holes out there…

Hiding money from yourself is one of my favorite tricks, and one of the only reasons we’re at over $600,000 these days.  They go right into our retirement accounts which are completely separated out and only checked for net worth reporting once a month! No way I’d be able to look at those #’s in our checking account and not be tempted to spend any of it, haha… I certainly wouldn’t be a personal finance blogger anymore, I can tell you that much ;)

Now hurry up and get your own site up and running, Paul!

Idea #5: Share your failures at the dinner table

Okay, so this one actually comes from Spanx founder, Sara Blakely, and not someone who reads our site (although you never know?), but it was really good and I thought you’d like it.

Business insider ran a story on how her dad taught her a bunch of business lessons growing up, and one of the ones that really stuck with her was around failure.

Here’s a clip from the article:

From a young age, Spanx founder Sara Blakely was encouraged to take risks… Blakely said her dad used to invite her and her brother to share their failures at the dinner table. Instead of being disappointed or upset, he would celebrate their efforts.  “What it did was reframe my definition of failure,” Blakely said of the tradition. “Failure for me became not trying, versus the outcome… I’m already having that conversation with my 7-year-old. I talk to him all about, ‘What have you tried to fail at this week?'”

This is so good on so many levels. First, it encourages you to DO STUFF vs thinking about it all the time! Secondly, it helps you get over the fear of failing in itself. And third, it teaches you to take risks and learn before you’ve got gobs of responsibilities and money to worry about messing up ;) I mean, you’re just a kid!! And when better to fail and learn – and then fail all over again – than when you’re so young and nubile? No wonder why she’s so successful these days… She’s failed a ton!

(Reminds me of a quote I recently read from Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s – “I was an overnight success alright, but 30 years is a long, long night.”)

Idea #6. “How much would I pay for this?”

Lastly, here’s one more question you can ask yourself when you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy something. This time by Sarah Von Bargen over at Yes And Yes Blog.

“Think about how much you’d be willing to pay for it before you look at the price tag.”

This is great because it places YOUR value on the item before you actually find out the true value! Or, I guess, the price tag, but still – same thing if you’ve agreed to exchange money for it, right?

If you guessed close and it *excites* you, great. At least you know you’re getting what you feel it’s worth. If it’s way out of the ballpark, though, you better stop for a hot second and really be sure it excites you enough. After all, you have to want it MORE than cash money, and that’s one helluva tall order! ;)

So there it is friends! A handful of new ideas for you to run off with and steal too. Please continue to spill all your secrets here, and I’ll do my best to continue making you famous :)

See you smarty pants in the comments…

*******

Want more? Check out other tips our community has shared over the years:

29 Quick Money Tricks

Some Tricks That Help Me Be Better at Life

More Inductions To The Saving Hacks Hall of Fame!

More Tricks to Accomplish Your Goals Faster

6 Great $$$ Ideas To Steal posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[heliosfinance]

6 Great $$$ Ideas To Steal

One of the best things about blogging is starting conversations, and then watching all your smarty pants friends chime in with clever ideas of their own ;)

I’ve been collecting a handful of them over the months, and thought today was as good a day as any to share them around so that you guys can steal them too.

Hope they help!

Idea #1: No more gifts please, 529 only!

I have been searching for a LONG LONG time to come up with a (polite) way to stop getting gifts from family and friends without making it awkward for anyone. Some years are better than others, and it has been getting better over time (for example, now at Christmas we only focus mainly on the *kids*), but I have yet to find that magic bullet that non only pleases the givers (since, after all, they get joy out of it too) but also satisfies my minimalist/essentialist ideals too.

Enter Paul’s idea, which I’m beyond excited to try! (He left this in response to my slacking on our kids’ 529 plans without even realizing I was in desperate need of a better form of gift giving too :))

I have relied a lot on my family to help with 529s. I basically just tell them not to ever get me a present because it will be something that I don’t want and will end up sitting in my basement till I get around to donating it one day. Just tell them to give to your kids 529s instead. Strategy has worked so far. My 9 year old has close to 50K, 7 year old close to 40k, 3 year old has about 10 and my new born has less than 1k…

Some people institute a no gift policy to avoid collecting clutter, I simply took it a step further and asked for a specific gift or nothing… Family tends to be more generous in giving doing this as well.

It’s so brilliant, isn’t it? The givers get to give and know it’s 100% not only what you *want*, but also *need*, and at the same time their grandchildren/nephews/nieces/pals/whatever they are to you get helped too!

And on top of that, they still get to buy the kids toys or whatever since this was “dad’s” gift so they’ll still smile back and love all over you ;) Totally trying this with the next holiday – will report back!

Idea #2. Spend something, save something!

This idea comes from Stefanie O’Connell who dropped it on our post the other week about being able to save more if you’re spending everywhere. Here’s her idea:

I’m not totally against lifestyle inflation. I think some sensible improvements are reasonable, but it is SUCH a slippery slope. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to find the balance. Somewhat similar to this reader, I’ve toyed with a system of matching any new expenses with additional savings before upgrading. For example, if I’m going to start getting a massage once a month. I won’t consider myself able to ‘afford it’ until I can build both the cost of the massage and match that with an additional contribution to my savings, into my budget. TBD on how this method works out.

TBD or not, I think that’s awesome. It gives you full permission to spend and enjoy yourself, while at the same time doing the responsible thing! The more you spend, the more you save, and the less you spend the more you STILL save! (I think I got that right? ;)) I’ll have to go xfer out $2.60 now which I just spent on this delicious Starbucks coffee I’m downing, haha…

Idea #3: “Do I want to clean this thing?”

I loooooove me some self-reflecting questions whenever you’re about to buy something. We’ve covered a lot of them here on the site (I’ll list them below) but here’s a new one that I’ve never heard as yet – by fellow blogger ZJ Thorne:

“I’m a big fan of asking myself if I’d like to clean/maintain the item before purchasing it. So much is not bought this way.”

YES!! And not only with “stuff”, but with pets too. Sooooo many people pick them up on a whim without even thinking or realizing the level of responsibility that comes with it – myself very much included back in the day :( I can’t even imagine how poorly I treated those poor guys looking back, ugh…

But, a great question to ask yourself for sure. Not only to save some money, but to avoid any stress and clutter down the road the item might bring too! Here are similar questions we’ve posed over the years too that might help:

“Would you go out and buy it again?”

 “Would I wear this out of the dressing room right now?”

“Would you rather have this, or straight up cash money?”

Idea #4: Separate out your recurring expenses with your variable expenses

Here’s another idea from the same Paul above (how come he doesn’t have a $$$ blog yet??), which he left on our article on how avoiding debt is much more important than your credit score (true fact):

“Instead of going the credit route, I have thought about opening a second checking account specifically for non recurring and variable expenses (i.e. groceries, amazon, walmart, etc…). That way I could make certain I had enough for recurring bills (i.e. mortgage, phone, internet, etc…). Then if my wife or I went to walmart and got declined because we weren’t paying attention, it would have no effect on the mandatory bills we pay. Also, in the event our card number was stolen it wouldn’t mean our mortgage went into default.”

So smart! Most of your necessities would be covered with checking account #1 (recurring) making you feel pretty comfortable, and then whatever’s left over in account #2 you can do with as you please – knowing when it’s gone it’s gone. It also saves you in the event of a hacking too, as mentioned, which at some point *will* occur of course because people are complete a-holes out there…

Hiding money from yourself is one of my favorite tricks, and one of the only reasons we’re at over $600,000 these days.  They go right into our retirement accounts which are completely separated out and only checked for net worth reporting once a month! No way I’d be able to look at those #’s in our checking account and not be tempted to spend any of it, haha… I certainly wouldn’t be a personal finance blogger anymore, I can tell you that much ;)

Now hurry up and get your own site up and running, Paul!

Idea #5: Share your failures at the dinner table

Okay, so this one actually comes from Spanx founder, Sara Blakely, and not someone who reads our site (although you never know?), but it was really good and I thought you’d like it.

Business insider ran a story on how her dad taught her a bunch of business lessons growing up, and one of the ones that really stuck with her was around failure.

Here’s a clip from the article:

From a young age, Spanx founder Sara Blakely was encouraged to take risks… Blakely said her dad used to invite her and her brother to share their failures at the dinner table. Instead of being disappointed or upset, he would celebrate their efforts.  “What it did was reframe my definition of failure,” Blakely said of the tradition. “Failure for me became not trying, versus the outcome… I’m already having that conversation with my 7-year-old. I talk to him all about, ‘What have you tried to fail at this week?'”

This is so good on so many levels. First, it encourages you to DO STUFF vs thinking about it all the time! Secondly, it helps you get over the fear of failing in itself. And third, it teaches you to take risks and learn before you’ve got gobs of responsibilities and money to worry about messing up ;) I mean, you’re just a kid!! And when better to fail and learn – and then fail all over again – than when you’re so young and nubile? No wonder why she’s so successful these days… She’s failed a ton!

(Reminds me of a quote I recently read from Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s – “I was an overnight success alright, but 30 years is a long, long night.”)

Idea #6. “How much would I pay for this?”

Lastly, here’s one more question you can ask yourself when you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy something. This time by Sarah Von Bargen over at Yes And Yes Blog.

“Think about how much you’d be willing to pay for it before you look at the price tag.”

This is great because it places YOUR value on the item before you actually find out the true value! Or, I guess, the price tag, but still – same thing if you’ve agreed to exchange money for it, right?

If you guessed close and it *excites* you, great. At least you know you’re getting what you feel it’s worth. If it’s way out of the ballpark, though, you better stop for a hot second and really be sure it excites you enough. After all, you have to want it MORE than cash money, and that’s one helluva tall order! ;)

So there it is friends! A handful of new ideas for you to run off with and steal too. Please continue to spill all your secrets here, and I’ll do my best to continue making you famous :)

See you smarty pants in the comments…

*******

Want more? Check out other tips our community has shared over the years:

29 Quick Money Tricks

Some Tricks That Help Me Be Better at Life

More Inductions To The Saving Hacks Hall of Fame!

More Tricks to Accomplish Your Goals Faster

6 Great $$$ Ideas To Steal published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B