#that sounds pretty insane but its legit

[1980ssunflower]

I like how they look here 💖💙

[atsumwah]

about time

featuring : iwaizumi hajime

includes : you being oikawa's sister, brothers best friend trope, a teeny tiny mention of drinking, and you and makki being besties

notes : i legit put iwa and bo in the wheel name spinning thing bcs i was too indecisive to pick and iwa won three in a row....the universe apparently sided with this hunk 2day ! ignore the mistakes if you find any, i’ll fix em laterzzz :)))

being oikawa's sister had its perks.

you're instantly popular, you have boys queuing up to get your number, every girl in the school was nice to you ( though they only wanted to get closer to your brother but you didn't care honestly) so really there wasn't anything you can complain about.

except that you have the biggest crush on your brother's best friend.

it's not that he's just hot, like insanely godly hot, he's also really nice. all the years you've known iwaizumi, there wasn't a moment where he wasn't a gentleman to you, despite being together for so long people might mistake you three as siblings.

like when you were five and fell on your knees, he was the one who ran to get the first aid kit (damn your brother he did nothing but laugh, the audacity)

or when you were thirteen when you were scared to walk alone after school without oikawa because he was sick and iwaizumi offered himself up despite having his classes end way earlier than you (and continues to do so when your brother couldn't accompany you)

or when you were 21, drunk off your ass at a bar and having him pick you up, knowing that his campus was literally halfway across town but still came when he heard you sobbing at the other end of the phone.

the little things he does makes your heart flutter, toes curl and mind only filled with thoughts of him. he's the reason why your standards in men are so high and you aren't going to settle less than any of that. you weren't going to settle if it wasn't him.

even so, you're pretty sure he doesn't see you in the same light. again, you've known each other for years, you basically grew up together, so you're pretty sure he only sees you as his best friend annoying little sister (even worse, he's own little sister)

"why does he have to be like that, makki?" you whine, your head lulling to the right to rest on your best friend's shoulder.

"that being?" he teased, taking a sip from his drink as he eyed you from the side.

"you know, irresistibly hot." you gestured to iwaizumi who was working at the counter, "how am i supposed to move on if i see him everyday?"

"that's your own fault. you know he works here."

you did but that's not the point.

"still," you grumbled out, "thought i was being obvious enough. can't he just, i don't know,reject me?"

"honey, you and i both know he's oblivious as hell. i think you need to spell it out for him to get it."

you groaned, hitting your head against the table again.

"hey, what if i set you up with a guy? maybe you'll learn to move on." makki suggested.

it wasn't like the idea of meeting someone new hasn't crossed your mind before. it's just that, well, they're not him.

"did you miss the part where haji's literally perfect and most men aren't?"

"ahem."

"most men besides haji and you aren't."

"better." he said smugly before continuing. "what if i made sure he checks all your boxes, hmm? i know a lot of people."

"i don't know," you bit your lip, "i guess i trust you…"

"that's a dangerous thing to do, you know?"

your head whipped to the sound of his voice coming from behind you.

"i'm literally your best friend, dude."

"not by choice."

a chuckle escaped your lips at his bluntness.

"hey!"

"what are you talking about and why are you trusting makki with it?"

before you could even answer, makki did for you.

"we were talking about setting her up on a date," he said proudly.

"a date, huh?" he eyed you from the side, "thought you had all the boys lining up your feet, princess."

you're so unfair, hajime. 

"they're not that interesting, i guess." you said instead.

"good. keep your standards high. you can't trust men these days."

"you're literally a man."

"i'm different."

"ahem." makki not so subtly coughed again.

"like I said, i'm different—ow— i will literally kick you, makki."

you only smiled, never agreeing more with a statement. he was different, or maybe there was something different about the way you felt for him compared to anyone else. and as much as you wanted something more with him, you're smart enough to realize that that dream was way out of reach.

maybe going on a blind date wouldn't be the worst idea.

***

"i'm so gonna kill you!"

"what'd he do?" makki said on the other line.

"not only did he criticize what i ordered, he even took some of my food and didn't even ask for it! he said and i quote 'a pretty thing like you can't finish this, right?' you know i don't share food!"

"i’m sorry bout that honey. he seemed pretty cool when i talked to him before. he did looked excited when he saw a picture of you."

"ugh men. that's it, i'm just gonna wait for my prince charming to come."

"so no more blind dates?"

"nope." you clicked your tongue as you opened the door to your apartment. "thanks hiro, i did appreciate the thought. i'm gonna call it a night."

"alright, sleep tight honey."

you removed the phone lodged between your shoulder and ear before dropping through keys in the bowl next to the door.

"you're home early."

you let out a gasp at the sudden intruder, your heart calming down when you realize who it was. "my god, how did you come in?"

"you gave me the keys, dumbass." iwaizumi shook the spare keys in front of you, then settled himself on the countertop. "so how was your date?"

"how'd you know it was today?" you took off your coat and immediately went to the refrigerator, taking out a can of—well two cans— of something that would probably make you forget your date.

"makki's not one to keep quiet, you know."

"right. well, it's a lost cause you could say."

"that bad?"

"yup," you downed it down immediately, wincing at the aftertaste. "what're you doing here anyways? it's late."

"had to make sure you got back safe." he said nonchalantly, "your brother would've nagged me if something happened to you."

"i'm a big girl, hajime. i can take care of myself." you said, annoyed, though your beating heart says otherwise. "pretty sure he's dying for me to get someone. he's always saying how i'm repulsing men."

"we both know that's not true, princess," he says.

ugh there it is again. that stupid nickname that makes you weak in the knees for the man in front of you.

"yeah well…" you started, avoiding his eyes as you spoke, "i appreciate you coming to check up on me but i don't need another brother breathing down my back, alright?"

you expect him to shrug it off or to roll his eyes like oikawa would but instead you're confused at his next words.

"do i really give off that impression to you?"

you turned your head towards him. it almost sounded like he was hurt. "what do you mean?"

"nothing." he says almost instantly after that. "nothing, i just— forget i said anything." and with that he goes off to grab his coat hanging by the rack.

but you were curious. because the way he said it seemed like it was out of surprise. like it's the first time he realized that.

"wait," you grabbed his arm before he could go. "tell me what you mean by that?"

was it the booze that made you act this way too? yeah probably.

" 's doesn't matter. forget it, alright?" he makes a move to leave but tug his arm out. you hold on tighter.

"tell me." you say, persistently. "i’m not letting you go until you tell me. i'll jump on your back right now even."

"let go."

"for someone bigger than my brother you sure are a wimp."

"are you trying to provoke me?"

"is it working?" you said before adding, "wimp."

"it's not working."

you pouted. "it always works with tooru."

"that's because he has a huge ego." he let out a yelp when you actually fulfilled your threat by jumping on his back. "hey, get off!"

"not until you tell me!" you locked your legs around him with your arms around his neck to stay determined. "this usually works on tooru too. only it involves a lot more hair pulling." you said triumphantly, before realizing how close your face has gotten to his. apparently he noticed it too judging by how wide his eyes are and how red he looks up close.

"if i tell you, you might hate me." he whispers, words only for you to hear.

"i could never hate you." that's ridiculous. you were literally in love with him, hello?

he looked uncertain, but eventually gave in when you were still stubborn to let him go.

“...i like you, y/n."

pardon?

"if you're messing with me, i will pull your hair out." you managed to say.

"please don't. mine doesn't grow as fast as your shitty brother."

"you're…for real then?"

"yes."

"then why would you think i hate you?"

iwaizumi winced, like the next few words were gonna be painful. "you said you think of me as a brother."

"because i thought you only saw me as a sister!" you blurted out.

"what?" his big saucer eyes matching your own. "what're you saying?"

"i'm in love with you." you bit your lip and continued on. "i've been in love with you ever since i can remember."

there. it was finally out, no takesies backsies. honestly it felt good to have that in the open. it was like ripping off a bandaid, painful but at the same time, relieving.

but then panic set in when he didn't say anything for a solid minute.

you watched as his face slowly turned red till the tip of his ears and his mouth opening, closing, as if still figuring out what to say. his hands moved first, slowly taking you off of his back and turning your body so you were now hugging him from the front, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

"so… we like each other?" he says, lips unbelievably close to your own.

"apparently."

"so if i wanted to kiss you, your would say…" he trails off, eyes solely focusing on your lips.

"i'd say it's about damn time, haji." you mimicked his movements.

"about damn time," he mutters before claiming your lips with his.

about damn time indeed.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.

Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 -  Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!

Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.

Argh this show is great!

Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV. 

Speaking of...

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version). 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice. 

Final thoughts:

This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10 

That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.

This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.

Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.  

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.

In conclusion:

A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.

In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character. 

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.

Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Next Week Looks Like This

Still coming:

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

He so pretty.

I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)

Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)

I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)

(Last week)

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 3/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 9.3k

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), eventual smut, sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) And there I go again with the too much rambling and making chapters entirely too long. What's the preference when it comes to things like this? ( 2 ) Don't forget that there will be no smut or sexual descriptions while Persephone is still a minor aka anytime before 2016. ( 3 ) Another time jump will be coming up within the next chapter. As I stated before, I'm not trying to dwell too long in the past for them, but my brain always has a way of dragging things out. This may also be the last chapter of Seph as a minor... ◔‿◔

× Chapter Warnings!: language, brief sexual themes

SUMMER OF 2014

FRIDAY AUGUST 1st

NOAH

“Did you guys hear about Persephone?” 

Everyone stared at the dark haired girl - now known as Alexa - after she dropped down into the booth next to Folio, waiting for her to continue. 

“Ya know, after her party last weekend?” 

Christ, if this girl didn't just spit it out. Noah didn't want to hear about Seph, no, but he for some reason felt anxious about whatever was about to be revealed. It already wasn't sitting right with him. 

“Well, her parents apparently came home early because someone cut their security cameras back on to the live setting, and they saw all of it. The people, the alcohol, the huge mess she hadn't been able to get cleaned up yet. It was bad.” 

Alexa was nodding as she spoke, though she was now taking a long pause. They could sense she had more to say, so Noah made a face for her to continue, which she huffed and did. Folio’s new girl was cool and all, but damn did she have a flare for the dramatics. She also had this weird power of knowing everything about everyone. It was a little scary.

“A little birdy told me that Seph then had a masssivveee breakdown. I'm talking a full on freak out. She trashed the place even more, broke some priceless vases her mom had, got blood everywhere because she accidentally cut herself on the glass or some shit. Yeah, it was insane. Something legit right out of a movie.” 

Noah was fighting back the urge to spew his lunch everywhere. His stomach was churning, his insides turning every which way, and there was no end in sight for it. He was avoiding everyone's gaze, instead choosing to stare at a blank spot on the table while processing what Alexa was saying. 

“Who did you hear that from?” Nick spoke up, obviously suspicious of the story. He was the only one who really knew what happened between him, Seph, and Maisie that night, so of course he was going to dig deeper. 

“I shouldn't even be telling anyone this, but my brother was a paramedic at the scene. He said he thinks it was all stress induced, but some people are saying she was on drugs.” 

“No, she didn't do drugs.” Noah shook his head, refusing to believe that rumor. It was clear there was a lot that Seph needed to work on, but he wasn't going to let her name be dragged through the mud over something he knew wasn't true. 

“Drugs, no drugs. Doesn't matter. Her parents sent her away to some facility up state but they're telling people she's spending her senior year studying abroad in Sweden or somewhere posh sounding like that.” 

“That's fucking wild,” Folio sighed while shoving a couple of fries into his mouth. “Pretty bummed I only got to go to one of her parties.”

“Shut up, Folio,” Noah heavily exhaled, his thumb and pointer finger rubbing and digging at his eyes. 

There was a part of him that didn't believe it, or rather didn't want to believe it. But if Alexa's brother was there, then he had to admit that was a pretty reliable source. And after what he saw that night, it was all pretty plausible. 

Fucking hell. 

SPRING TO SUMMER 2015

PERSEPHONE 

Fingertips lightly traced the tiny delicate scars that now scattered across the top and bottom of her hands. There was a point months ago when she was worried about how they would heal, nervous as to whether or not they'd always look red and angry. Thankfully that wasn't the case, for they were small and white, barely noticeable unless you were close enough or already knew they were there. The soles of her feet carried identical scars, all because of the shards of glass she had stupidly walked over. 

“We've still never really talked about why you thought you couldn't seek help or guidance, Persephone.” 

Although she heard the older woman’s question, her eyes remained down on her hands. The same scars she had stared at for days upon days were way more interesting than whatever bullshit she was going to try prying from her today. Only sometimes did she give the woman a bit of information, just to tide her over so she could report to her parents that she was making ‘great progress’. 

“You really want to know?” 

“Well, yes, of course.” 

Slowly nodding, Seph took in a deep breath before dropping her hands into her lap and finally lifting her gaze to the older woman. She held her pen at the ready, fully prepped to scribe down anything of importance she may divulge. 

“I figured there was no point in ever telling people about what was happening inside of me. It was best kept inside, like everything else.” 

“Why did you feel that way?”

Seph shrugged, arms crossing over her chest in a defensive manner. Yep, the woman was right on it with that damned pen too. Of course she was going to take note of her stance. 

“Because people don't want to hear about the difficulties of life coming from someone like me.” 

“Someone like you…what does that mean?”

“You know what it means. You're in my father's pocket, after all.” 

Everyone at this ridiculously irritating place was. The only employee she had become slightly friendly with was a second shift nurse who let her use his phone, but of course for a price. Gross, not like that. He wanted money, just as everyone did. $100 for fifteen minutes. Can you believe that? 

The woman eyed her from across the room. She was waiting for her to continue because obviously her smart ass remark wasn't a sufficient answer. 

“Someone who has the means to do anything and everything. Never a need for anything. Someone who has all of their material wants satisfied. That kind of person.” 

Seph twisted her lips and looked out the wall of windows within the office. God, she couldn't wait to be out of this place. 

“People tend to forget that material items aren't everything, though. At the end of the day, they don't fucking mean anything. I can't talk to a purse. I can't voice my frustrations to a goddamn overpriced car.” 

This made her laugh, the sound of it echoing through the otherwise quiet office. Her therapist didn't seem to find it as funny, but that was okay. She wasn't trying to spit jokes at her anyway. It was all the truth. 

“You don't believe your parents could see that you were struggling? What about your friends?”

Ah, of course the woman was going to try to get all the answers she had been seeking from the beginning. A part of her was starting to think that she didn't really care about how Seph was, she just wanted to know all the gritty and secret details of a man’s family who basically owned her. 

“I didn't have friends, not really. Well…I had one, but he was a new friend. He wasn't ready to learn all of my inner workings.” 

Persephone could tell the woman wanted to dive into this ‘he’, but she wasn't going to give her the opportunity. Noah was not going to become a pawn in her sessions that could be used against her. 

“And my parents were never around, so no, they didn't see a damn thing. It took it literally blowing up in their faces for them to notice.” 

That was enough talking for today. Seph was mentally tired of this gymnastics routine she was forced to partake in multiple times a week, and now all she wanted to do was get the hell out of there. Both the office and the facility as a whole. Though mainly the former right then because it was nearing the time for her to be out a hundred bucks. 

Once she was given the ‘okay’ to call it a day, she couldn't have scurried out fast enough. And like perfect clockwork, Ben was waiting outside of her room, ready to collect. They didn't say anything to each other as he slyly slipped his phone to her, then carried on down the hall until he would circle back fifteen minutes later. 

Seph hid within her bathroom, her body uncomfortably seated within the empty bathtub with the curtain drawn. She didn't know why this is where she felt safest making calls, but it's the one and only place she had done it since her first month there. 

One ring. 

Two rings. 

Three rings.

On the fourth, the call connected and she was able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Pom,” he answered without missing a beat, his smile easily heard in his tone. 

“Hey, peach,” she softly spoke, immediately feeling more like herself as soon as she was in friendly company. 

“Did you make all the doctors happy today?” 

Seph snorted out a laugh, rolling her eyes to herself. “Well, I didn't threaten any of them, if that's what you mean.”

“Ah, so progress! That warms my heart.” 

“I think they're going to let me come home soon. Therapist number two was really digging in. But how's things there?”

“If you want to ask about him, then you can.” 

The smile she wore slowly began to fade, her eyes fixated on a random spot of her sweatpants that she had started picking at. 

“No…I mean…is he okay? I'm not going to come home to him having lost a leg or something, right?” 

Nick laughed, and she just knew he was shaking his head. “I can say with absolute certainty that all of his limbs are still intact. A one legged front man would be pretty badass though, yeah?” 

As much as Seph wanted to get lost in thoughts of Noah, she couldn't bring herself to do so right then. She had to save that for those particularly hard moments while she was locked away. 

“Did you tell her?” 

A female voice in the background broke through, followed by a hushed response from Nick that she couldn't make out. There was some shuffling on the other side, then he was heavily sighing before speaking up again. 

“Shit, Seph, I hate to do this…but I don't want you to come home and be blindsided.” 

“You're really freaking me out right now.” 

“Alexa heard that your dad…yeah! I'm getting to it!” Again Nick huffed, and this whole thing being drawn out was literally going to cause her heart to beat out of her chest. 

“She heard that your dad is trying to press charges against Maisie…for the video of you and Noah. Some shit about child pornography, I don't know. Apparently she sent it to her brother, so that's not only possessing, but also distributing.” 

“What the actual fuck, Nick?!” Seph quickly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her outburst, which allowed her a moment to take a deep breath and count to ten. 

“No…how? How is he going to do that when nothing happened in the video? It was just us kissing and his shirt coming off. Not mine!” 

“I'm not a lawyer, Seph, I don't know. That's just what Alexa heard, so it could hold zero weight.” 

“Does Noah know?” 

“Yeah…apparently your dad also paid him a visit…fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.” 

More hushed voices rambled off in the background. The main one she could make out was from Alexa still, but a new one had been added that caught her off guard.

“Who the hell are you being so secretive with?” 

His voice came through loud and clear this time, so Seph assumed he had lowered the phone to play it off like he wasn't on it. Not very smart, Nick. Not smart at all. 

“Huh? No one. I was just gonna order a pizza.” 

“Nick, you're a terrible liar. What are you doing?”

Seph sunk down further in the bathtub, a hand holding her forehead in complete disbelief for what was happening. It was the first time she had heard Noah’s voice since she saw him last, and of course it had to be when she was talking to his best friend on the down low. 

“Pom? Who’s Pom?” 

NOAH

There was a brief moment of tug-of-war as he tried to wrestle the phone from Nick. Never had his best friend kept something from him, at least not to his knowledge, but especially not when he had been caught red handed. 

Finally, Nick gave in and released the device, allowing him to turn it around until he could clearly read the name plastered on the screen. 

“Pom? Who's Pom?” His brows furrowed in confusion, though he still lifted the phone up to his ear. There was no sound on the other end, except for the very faint hint of a breath being taken. Then, the line went dead, the call ending from the other side. 

Nick was staring at him with wide eyes and he could already see the explanation just waiting to escape him. 

“Dude…I'm sorry,” he began, hands holding out in a defensive stance. “Pom is Seph…ya know, like pomegranate? Persephone is a goddess who-”

“I know who Persephone is! I understand the reference, Nick!”

“Right, yeah. You know how she would always say 'you're a peach' to me? Well, she just started calling me peach one day and it stuck, so she became Pom and it was just this dumb thing to help her while she's away, and -”

“You've been talking to her this entire time?”

Nick paused, his body relaxing for a brief moment as he thought back to when their first conversation could've been. 

“Not the entire time…probably since last September?” 

Noah was really hoping Nick could feel the fire in his glare, because boy, was it intense. What the hell was he supposed to do with this information? Should he even be mad? It was honestly the fact that Nick kept it from him that really pissed him off. Why would he? Unless…Seph had asked for him to. 

“She doesn't want to talk to me.” It didn't take much for him to put it all together. Seph was complicated as all hell, but she could be predictable at times too. 

“No, she does. She does, okay? She hasn't straight up told me why she won't, but my guess is that she's embarrassed. I don't know! I'm not an expert on teenage girls!” 

“You two are just best friends now or something?” 

Nick heavily exhaled, his arms dropping down to his sides in defeat. A silence settled between them, one that was just long enough for each of them to gather their thoughts. Or, at least try to. 

“Dude…come on.” Nick shook his head slowly at Noah, a look of disbelief beginning to move across his features. “Don't make me seem like an asshole because I was trying to be there for her.”

That's exactly how Noah saw it, though. Although he wouldn't always have this opinion on the matter, it's how he felt currently. He wanted to be the one there for Seph. He wanted to help her through whatever it was she was struggling with. She wouldn't let him be that person, though, and that's what really stung. 

Fuck, why was he letting a girl he had been friends with for a month plague his mind like this? 

“It's whatever, man. I'll just see her when she gets out, I guess.” 

Noah didn't want this to become a huge conflict between him and Nick. As easy as it would've been for him to argue his point right then, it wasn't worth the headache. Nick was his best friend, and had been for years, while Seph was only just a girl he had developed an infatuation with. 

PERSEPHONE 

“I know it's bad timing, dear, but your father and I expected you to be home next week.”

On and on her mother went during the drive home, all while Seph spent the duration staring out the window. Her fingers were itching to get a hold of her phone but the device had yet to be given back to her - of course. Honestly, she would be surprised if her parents let her have it back at all. 

But at least it seemed like the snow queen was over the disastrous ending that was her beloved vases. 

“But, we’ll have a nice dinner as a family tonight, then he and I will be back Sunday evening.” 

Seph wanted to laugh at how ridiculous her mom sounded. When did they ever have nice dinners together? At least one, if not both, of her parents always ended up wandering off to take business calls in the middle of meals, leaving her to eat alone. What was so nice about that? 

“Does that sound like a plan?” 

Forcing a slight smile, she finally looked over to the older woman and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good to me.” 

Although Seph could tell that her mother was trying, she was curious to know how much of it was genuine. They had never had a strong relationship to begin with, but that was expected given how her parents chose to put their careers ahead of their daughter. Seph used to be sad about it, though she stopped caring as much the older she got. Them not being around sure as hell didn't stop them from putting the pressure on whenever possible. 

× × ×

“No, the doctors said her medications may make her…unlike herself for a bit.” The woman spoke in a murmur to her father upon their arrival home, as if Seph couldn't hear them. 

“A bit? She's been on them for nearly a year now. How much time does it take?” 

“However much it does, Chris. I don't know.” Her mother retorted, the annoyance evident in her tone. 

Seph didn't hear much more because she had made it to the top of the staircase, now aiming straight for her bedroom. She just wanted to be alone for the first time in forever. No worries of nurses and doctors barging in, or the occasional fellow patient that tried to make friends with her. 

There was a sudden halt in her steps when she entered her room. It definitely wasn't how she had left it aka in an utter mess. No, it was thoroughly cleaned now. Nothing out of place. Just as it usually was before things began to truly go downhill for her. Shaking her head to herself, Seph pushed her suitcase off to the side to tend to later, her gaze glancing over to her desk. Lying on top were multiple college applications, as well as letters from others she had applied to before leaving. Columbia, Brown, Dartmouth - ‘her’ top choices. Not really. Those were actually choices that belonged to her parents. 

With furrowed brows, Seph carefully shifted the papers around. Her lips moved as she quietly skimmed over the gist of each letter, her anger bubbling with every word. All the letters claimed acceptance for this year’s fall semester. 

“What the fuck?” She muttered to herself just before she abruptly pulled her hand from the pages. She couldn't handle this right now. The last thing she wanted to think about was what her father had been up to while she was gone. Paying off universities? That was a new low for even him. No way in hell would they have willingly taken her after everything, but Seph was sure their minds were changed as soon as her dad made a hefty donation. How many libraries or community centers now had their name plastered across them? 

“Oh…you've already seen the letters.”

Seph lifted her head to see her mother standing in her doorway, a slight uneasiness to her. 

“Well, they are on my desk. Seems like someone wanted me to see them.” 

Marilyn, the snow queen in question, took in a deep breath and heavily exhaled while crossing the threshold inside. She immediately approached where Seph stood, her own hands frantically shuffling the papers together and then tucking them beneath her arm. 

“No need to worry about those right now.” Reaching back with her free hand, the older woman then retrieved something before extending it out to Seph. It was her phone. 

“I figured you could use a bit of normalcy again.” 

Hesitantly, Seph accepted the device, slowly nodding. 

“Thanks,” she lowly spoke. 

This whole demeanor that her mom was portraying was very out of the ordinary for her. She couldn't help but to be slightly taken back by it. Maybe it made it appear as if she wasn't actually thankful, although she was. Who could blame her for being suspicious, though? After what had happened, this was the last sort of interaction she was expecting. 

“Dinner will be at six, okay?” 

Seph watched as her mother walked away, giving her a small nod in understanding. Once she was gone, she followed the same path she took, only to quietly close the bedroom door to allow her some privacy. There was then a need within her to get her phone turned on. She rushed over to the side of her bed where she typically had her charger plugged in, relieved to see that the cord remained. After inserting it into her phone, she waited a few seconds, then the Apple logo popped up. 

A sigh of relief left her, her body lowering down to sit on the edge of her bed. As the device powered on for the first time in who knows how long, notification after notification began to flash across the screen. 

grl are you okay?? 

i'm worried! 

Alexa 

Heard about your incident. Dramatic. 

Seriously? Call me. 

Stop being a baby. I'm sure daddy made sure you have your phone. 

Sweden? That's laughable. You hate fish. You'd never survive on the cuisine. 

No one believes that's where you are, by the way. 

Your dad is fucking insane!!!! 

Maisie 

babe come on talk to me. 

i’m not mad about you and emo guy. 

maisie showed me the video but it's fuckin dumb. 

lol can't believe you were gonna fuck him tho. 

sweden?? and you didn't tell me?? wtf

Mason 

OMG miss you! 

damn it's gonna suck to not have any infamous Seph parties senior year! 

Aw hope you have so much fun abroad! I loved it when I went! 

u are not gunna believe wat i heard about u

Random “friends”

I miss you. 

Noah 

It was a horrible idea for her to read any of these, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. There were a lot that she deleted, most being from unknown numbers or people she hadn't even spoken to since way before all of this. Everyone obviously just wanted some entail and they thought going directly to the source would work out for them. Oh how wrong they were. 

The last message she read was what really got to her, though. She assumed Noah had known the truth of what happened pretty early on, meaning that his text from only a couple of months ago was honest. That's what she was telling herself, at least. Every other text thread was deleted except for that one, then she started a new one. 

‘Home. Need to see a friendly face.’ 

Seph stared down at the screen as if Nick would have already replied when she knew he was busier than usual these days. The band, working at a tattoo shop, it all left very little downtime for him and the others. But much to her surprise, the little gray bubble appeared, indicating that he was typing. 

‘FUCK YEA DUDE!!’

'Come by the shop!’

'I'm here working on some pieces until probably 9’

It was impossible for her to explain how at ease she now felt knowing someone was excited about her being back, especially when that someone happened to be one of the only people she considered a friend. Getting close to Nick had come out of left field; definitely not done on purpose since she always felt like he only tolerated her for Noah. Who ever would've thought they would've gotten as close as they had while hours away? It was all strictly platonic, though. She looked at Nick as more of a brother type, and she knew he viewed her the same. Well…as a sister, but same sentiment. 

After dinner, she would slip away and somehow make it to the tattoo shop Nick had mentioned a few times. Maybe she’d get lucky and her parents would do their usual routine of acting as if she wasn't even there, just so she wouldn't have to awkwardly crawl out of her window. Plus, that would also mean they wouldn't realize she had left. Perfect. All she had to do was make it through dinner…

Well, that wasn't currently going so well. 

Her favorite meal had been cooked for the night, though her appetite was nearly nonexistent these days. Was it the mental issues? Or the meds she downed to help fix said issues? Either way, a few bites was all she could stomach. 

“Not hungry?” Her mother spoke up first, her lips showcasing a sympathetic smile. 

Okay, seriously. What the hell had gotten into her? 

“No…not really. Sorry.” 

Marilyn shook her head in a way to silently tell Seph that it was okay, but before she could verbally respond, her father was beating her to it. 

“You need to eat,” he demanded as he eyed her from across the table. “It'll help you feel better to have decent food again.” 

Seph stared at the older man, inwardly biting her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything too rash. No need to cause an argument on her first night back. 

“I don't think I'll be feeling too great when this doesn't sit well and ends up in the toilet.” 

A heavy sigh came from her mother, who then covered the sound by taking a long swallow from her glass of wine. Ugh, she should've snuck a few sips for herself before dinner began. 

Although Seph could tell that there was something needing to be said that was right on the tip of her father’s tongue, he remained silent. The daggers he glared at her were loud enough. Before anything could be set off, she carefully slid her chair back and stood up. 

“Where are you going?” Her father sternly questioned as she walked by with her sights set on the front door. Seph snagged a set of car keys and clutched them tight within her palm, fully prepared to make a run for it if she really needed to. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. 

“I just need some air.” 

There was a start of a protest from her parents, but she didn't linger long enough to hear whatever it was they had to say. She was already out the door and closing the distance between herself and her mom’s car. 

× × ×

It was a blessing that she knew downtown Richmond like the back of her hand or else she never would've found the tattoo shop tucked in along the congested street. There was a neon red ‘open' sign glowing in the window, but nothing beyond that really told you what the business was until you were right on top of it. Not too surprising to her that the guys would work somewhere low key. 

There was a faint jingle from the bell above the door as she entered the building, though she figured the bell was only for show because the music playing inside easily drowned it out. A girl with multiple piercings shining on her face sat behind the front desk, and the opening and closing of the door caused her to look up at who could possibly be coming in near closing time. 

“Hey…” she hesitantly spoke, though a polite smile was visible on her lips. “I'm looking for Nick.” 

Piercing girl glanced over her shoulder and leaned back in her seat a bit as if trying to see something just out of reach. 

“Do you have an appointment?” She questioned after returning to her resting position. “We aren't taking walk ins right now.” 

“Oh…no…I'm just a friend of his.” Seph almost blurted out that she wasn't even old enough to get a tattoo, though she figured that surely would've gotten her kicked out. “He told me to stop by.” 

“Seph?”

A familiar voice broke through before either of the girls could exchange any more words. She lifted her eyes to see Nick stepping through a door that led to the back, both of them sharing near identical smiles at the sight of each other. Seph slid around the counter and rushed over with quick steps, her arms immediately being thrown around his neck to embrace in a close hug. 

“Peach!” She excitedly exclaimed while her arms squeezed him so tight that she was convinced she was cutting off his ability to breathe. Never had she and Nick really even touched, yet here they were, embracing each other as people within the tattoo shop awkwardly sideyed them. 

“Your hair!” Seph gasped as she pulled back to look at him, her hands now grasping his shoulders. Nick mimicked her stance, laughing as her eyes scanned all around his face and the new tattoos he adorned. “You cut it!” 

“People tend to get haircuts every now and then,” he continued to laugh. 

“Yeah, but it's kinda all mullet-y now! I love it!” It didn't matter that he had a beanie on in the middle of the summer. She could still see those new layers. 

“If you think I look different, then just wait until you see Noah. Dude has grown at least two - shit, sorry, Pom.”

The smile she wore began to fade at his mention of Noah, her grip on his shoulders loosening. She didn't like this reaction her mind and body immediately had to his mere existence being brought up. Hopefully this glitch in her system would work itself out. 

“It's all good,” she shook her head. “I'm gonna have to face the music at some point, yeah?”

Nick gave her a sympathetic smile to accompany the gentle squeeze of her shoulder. He then nodded his head towards the door he had come from, motioning for her to follow. 

“Come on, let's get away from all this fucking noise.” 

Ushering her into the back room, Seph was greeted by what appeared to be a break area; a table with a couple of chairs, a fridge, couch, and all the other workings for people to be comfortable when working long shifts. In front of the couch there was a coffee table with different sketches strewn about it. She assumed this is what Nick had been working on. 

“I had no idea you were doing tattoo stuff,” she muttered softly while approaching the coffee table to gaze down upon the drawings. 

“You never asked.” Nick shrugged, his body bent to peer into the fridge towards the back of the room. “I mean, I never really asked things about you either, so I guess we're both assholes.” 

Seph glanced back at him, extending a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I've had a lot going on up here.” She motioned to her head before lowering down onto the couch. 

Nick was following suit not too long after, his hands holding out a bottle of water for her while the other clasped around a beer for himself. 

“Hey!” She laughed, eying the other beverage. “Not fair!” 

“What? You're not old enough to drink.” Nick chuckled while taking a swallow from the can. 

“Neither are you!” 

Although her eyes narrowed at him in a glare, she was only joking. She released a dramatic sigh, but then took the offered water and twisted the cap off. “You better be glad I shouldn’t drink with my meds.” 

After taking a couple of sips from her water, she carefully placed the bottle on the coffee table and then tugged the sketchbook into her lap. She began to slowly flip through the pages, though she hadn't even bothered to ask if she could. Oops. 

“How is…all of that going, by the way?” 

“Fine, I guess,” she gave a single shoulder shrug. “Everything is amazing and perfect.” 

Nick’s eye roll was so pronounced that she swore she heard his eyes somersaulting in his skull. He then sighed, his face telling her that he was not convinced. 

“You're full of shit,” he smiled despite the attempt at a serious conversation that she was trying to shoot down. 

Seph laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I am.” 

With a pause in her page flipping, she glanced over to him, seeing that he was staring directly at her. There was no way he was going to drop the topic. As annoying as it was, Seph was a little…touched that Nick cared enough to actually ask. Not even her parents had. 

“I don't really like them,” she honestly revealed. “They always make my brain feel like it's in a fog. I'm mega tired, nothing tastes good, and all I want to do is rot in my bed.” 

A finger then tapped the page she had been staring down at, the drawing that of some sort of creature with horns. She had no idea what it was, but she liked it. “This is cool,” she complimented with hopes to change the subject. 

Seph knew she should've known better than to even attempt it. 

“Hey,” Nick tried to gain her attention, which she eventually gave him by lifting her head and meeting his gaze. “You know you can talk to me, right? Noah, too…he’d probably sing about it all night if you did.” 

Offering a faint smile, she nodded. “I know…it's just hard talking to anyone about things, but especially Noah. Opening up has never been easy for me.” 

As easy as it would've been for her to elaborate on this, she didn't. She wasn't trying to make this a pity party for herself. Coming by to see Nick was actually supposed to be the exact opposite of that. 

Nick leaned forward a bit, his elbows resting on his knees and both hands grasping the beer can. “Talk. To. Him.” He further explained, this being his final attempt at trying to get her to do what they all knew needed to be done. 

“You'll end up regretting it if you don't.” 

× × ×

It was that conversation that landed her in the guys’ shared home the following night. Again she had left her own house without explanation; fully ignoring her parents on her way out. They seemed to be letting her do whatever for now, though she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to push her luck. Whatever. They should just be glad she had finally ditched the sweatpants for a pair of shorts and slapped some makeup on her face for the first time in a year. It was minimal, but at least she cared enough about something to try. 

Nick had claimed it was only going to be a small get together, but the ten to fifteen people mingling around told her otherwise. No, it wasn't anywhere near the level her parties had been, but it was still a bit much for someone in her current mental state. Seph was determined to power through, though. She was desperate to return to her old self. At least in some aspects. 

“Oh my god! Sephy!” 

There was barely time to react before Alexa was rushing to her, forcing her into a tight hug that she had not been prepared for. She still smiled, choking out a soft laugh as her hands hesitantly patted the girl's back. 

“I thought I heard Nick say something about you being back! Oh my god! This is amazing! How are you?!” 

While her and Alexa had been kinda friends before this whole thing, she wouldn't have considered them to be close. They were acquaintances at best, though she was assuming things were going well between her and Folio if she was still hanging with the guys. Guess that meant she would have to stay on her good side as well. 

“I'm good! Yeah, things are going good.” Seph nodded once they had broken from the hug. She felt as if she was going to be telling this lie a lot going forward. 

Alexa gasped and held onto her arm, her eyes going wide as she looked back to the room she had just emerged from. “Have you seen Noah yet?! He's going to be so fucking stoked to see you. I know it.” 

Opening her mouth to speak, she wasn't even able to get a word out before Alexa was pulling her along to the next room. Her voice called out for Noah, repeating his name a couple of times. 

“Look who's finally back from Sweden!” Alexa gently bumped her with her shoulder as she laughed, and when she glanced over to the girl, she winked at her. Huh, okay. Was everyone just going to be in on this joke? 

“Sweden?” A guy with long dark hair that was pulled half back she didn't recognize spoke up, a bright smile taking up his face. “Hallå!”

Alexa laughed again as she reached out to his shoulder, shaking her head. 

As much as Seph wanted to figure out what that was about, she was now far too lost in the other guy that stood in front of her. Noah. Her eyes stuck to him, unable to look away, though she didn't want to. He had definitely filled out some within the last year and his hair was much longer, but it suited him. 

Also, when the hell had he gotten a neck tattoo? 

NOAH

Persephone fucking Hill. 

In his house. 

Staring up at him with awe. 

Fuck. 

What the hell was he supposed to say? Good to see you? Wow, so glad you're free? Nice tits?

Okay, definitely not the last one. That was a bad thought for him to even have. But still, nothing felt like it would be the right thing to say after how things ended. 

“Long time no see,” he then blurted out. 

Goddammit. That was lame as fuck. 

Noah could sense both Jolly and Alexa picking up on the awkward vibes because they took simultaneous swallows of their drinks and then slipped away in a nonchalant manner. 

“I probably wouldn't have even recognized you if Alexa hadn't dragged me over here.” Seph chuckled, and he knew immediately that she was just as nervous as he was. That was a bit of a relief. 

He wanted to tell her that that was okay because he would've spotted her within seconds. The words didn't leave his mouth, though. Actually, no words did. Noah continued to stare at her, both of them holding the other’s gaze. 

No, he couldn't get caught up in Seph again. It wasn't good for him. It wasn't good for her. Neither of them were what the other needed. That's what he had been telling himself for a year as he tried to get over her. Noah wished he could say that it had worked. 

“Noah…can we skip the weirdness of acting like we don't know each other? I've had a lot of time to think about how this would go, y’know, when we saw each other again, and every interaction I imagined was awkward…to say the least.” 

Seph laughed as a hand lifted to tuck her hair behind her ear, her eyes tearing from his for a brief moment. He inwardly frowned when this happened, already missing the sight of her honey colored irises. But when she didn't look back at him yet, he finally nodded and glanced around the kitchen. 

“Do you want a drink? I can fix you something.” Noah was already reaching for bottles before she could reply because of course he remembered her favorite mix: fruit punch and vodka. He found it revolting but he had a fond memory of her mouth dyed red one night when they sat in her backyard, and she was telling him some story he didn't remember all because of said red dye. 

“Sure…but hold the vodka.” She placed a hand on his wrist to stop him from untwisting the cap of the liquor, the small touch like fire on his skin. 

“I'm not really drinking at the moment.” 

It then dawned on him that Seph was probably on some medications she had been instructed not to mix alcohol with. He was tempted to tell her that it would be fine because he did it all the time, but this maybe wasn't the time. Seph was a big girl. She could make her own decisions. 

“Oh, yeah, that's cool. Just fruit punch it is then.” As he set the vodka bottle aside, he instead grabbed the juice and filled the cup half way before passing it her way. She gazed at him from over the rim while taking a sip, that sight alone making him weak in the knees. 

Get it the fuck together, Noah. 

“This is probably when I should tell you that I'm sorry…”

It seemed as if apologies at parties were starting to become their new norm. He couldn't say he was very fond of it. 

Noah took in a deep breath before swallowing from his own drink, his head shaking while lowering the cup. 

“You don't have to do that, Seph. Seriously. Ancient history.” 

He watched as she shifted awkwardly before leaning a hip into the kitchen island they stood behind. She looked basically the same, though maybe a few pounds lighter and her hair was longer, just as his was. Noah assumed the former had to do with the lack of decent food, and probably just a lack of appetite all together. He understood how it could be when starting medications. 

“I saw your text.” 

Noah froze, his mind racing to figure out what she was talking about. He then remembered the one message he had sent a couple of months ago when he had been up way too late and lost in his thoughts. It happened a lot but he usually had enough self control to not message her. That night, not so much. 

When he didn't say anything, she continued. 

“I missed you too.” 

That made him scoff, head shaking while taking another generous swallow of his drink. He looked off to the side as if interested in whatever his friends were doing, but he was actually trying to hold back his words. 

Glancing back to Seph, her brows were furrowed in confusion. 

Noah shrugged, fingers tapping against the side of his cup he held. “I need to talk to you about something.” 

With no other explanation, he placed a hand against her lower back while gently maneuvering her out of the kitchen and to the opposite side of the house where his room was. Noah could tell Seph was lost, which wasn't a shock. He wasn't exactly being very forthcoming right then. 

The door to his bedroom was quietly closed, then he was turning to look at her again. He expected her to be staring back at him, but she was actually slowly stepping around his room, studying the minimal items he had on the walls and on his desk. Clutter and knickknacks had never really been his thing. 

It was then that Noah realized this was the first time Seph had been in his room, or just where he lived in general. They were always somewhere less personal before, until the night of her party. 

“So, uh, your dad came and talked to me while you were gone.” 

He had no idea how to approach this topic, though he figured it was best to do it sooner rather than later. 

“I heard…” she murmured, her focus up on the framed images hanging on his wall. “That sounds like it was loads of fun.” 

Noah chuckled, a hand rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. “Not exactly the words I'd use.” 

“What did he want?” 

A few steps were taken so he stood at her side, his eyes down on her while hers remained elsewhere. There was an urge to reach out and touch the bare skin of her shoulder, brush her hair aside, but he resisted by shoving his free hand into his pocket. 

“He tossed out a lot of legal jargon, probably just to confuse me, but what I gathered is that he's thinking about pressing charges against Maisie. He also had a few choice words for me and our friendship.” 

Seph then looked at him, head tilted up at just the right angle for their eyes to meet. Her figure shifted and turned a bit, both of them facing each other. 

“I'm not going to let him press charges,” she exclaimed with a confidence that he hadn't been expecting. “Nothing happened in the video.” 

Was she not interested in the last bit he had tossed in? 

“He doesn't want us around each other.” 

This made her softly laugh, her eyes rolling. “Of course he doesn't.” 

“I'm not really su-”

“What do you think about that?” Seph cut him off, her eyebrow arched curiously. 

Noah stumbled over his words a bit since he hadn't really thought that in depth about it yet. He figured he needed to see how things were between them first. And now that he had…he still had no idea. 

“Do you want us to not be around each other?” She repeated her question with different wording, as if that would get an actual response out of him. 

“No…” he hesitantly replied, a slight smile appearing. 

“Then what he wants or has to say doesn't matter.” 

Again, Noah was struggling to find his words. Fuck. This was not going how he wanted it to. He was supposed to be agreeing with her dad, telling her that it was best for them to stay away from each other. But nope, he couldn't bring himself to say it. How could he when she was looking at him like that?

“I really did miss you.” 

Welp, that really cut his growing mood a bit. 

“It's actually funny that you say that since you didn't make any attempt to talk to me.” 

There was no way he could continue to bite his tongue on the matter when she just kept bringing it up…kind of. Inadvertently. 

“But you talked to Nick…how many times? Multiple times a week for nearly a year?” 

Seph bit down into her lower lip, her gaze dropping to the carpet in shame. Damn. Now he felt bad. 

No. He wouldn't let her get to him that easily. 

“I…I know it was shitty, okay? I didn't even mean to start talking to him. His Instagram was public so I was able to message him from a nurse’s account. I just wanted to check in…see how everyone was…but then talking to him helped keep my mind at ease when I really needed it.” 

Noah now did an eye roll of his own, his feet shuffling back a bit so he could place some distance between them. That sure as hell didn't explain why she hadn't talked to him. Only why she hadn't contacted him first. 

“Fuck, Noah. I was terrified to talk to you, is that what you want to hear? I didn't want to know how mad you were at me or find out what you thought about me after everything.” 

“Mad? I wasn't mad at you, Seph. I was worried! You kick me out, I don't hear from you, and then I find out from Alexa that you're gone?” 

A hand ran over his face, heavily exhaling. He definitely hadn't been prepared to have this conversation with her right then. 

“And what do you mean by what I thought of you? I always looked at you like the sun fucking shone out of your ass, so why would that have changed?” 

Seph was physically taken back by his statement. Her mouth fell open a bit, but then promptly closed. Head shaking, he could see the clench in her jaw. This told him that she was not happy. 

“No, you looked at me like I was this perfect unobtainable thing! You were just as blind to everything like my parents were because you couldn't fathom the fact that someone you saw as sunshine was falling apart bit by bit everyday!” 

It was Noah's turn to be taken back now. He stared straight at Seph, sporting a clenched jaw of his own that rivaled hers. 

“I didn't want you to think of me like that, Noah. And I know it's ass backwards and doesn't make sense. Don't want you to see me as perfect…don't want you to see me breaking down…” Seph shook her head to herself, her hands moving about as she spoke at a rather fast pace. 

“Believe me, I'm confused too.” 

“You've got to stop caring so much about what other people think. If someone judges you for breaking under pressure, then you call them an ‘asshole’ and keep it moving!” 

Seph had her eyes cast to the ceiling, her lips folded in for only a brief moment. He was waiting for her to say something - anything - that let him know she understood. 

“It's not that simple.”

Nope. Not the response he was hoping to hear. 

“But it is that simple, Seph. Why the fuck do you care about what other people have to say? Myself included.” 

“I don't…” she stammered over the two words, and Noah could tell that even she wasn't convinced. 

“Why, Seph?” He found himself taking a step closer to where she stood, his voice a little softer now than it previously had been. It hadn't been his intention to get so worked up, especially not when this was the first time they were seeing each other in what felt like forever. 

Noah could see the tears welling in her eyes. He knew that she knew why. It was only a matter of whether or not she was going to reveal this to him. He wasn't going to push her, but he was well aware of how this all needed to go. Seph needed to admit it to herself. 

“Because…I only feel worth anything when I know people like me.” 

PERSEPHONE 

And there it was. The truth Noah had been trying to tug out of her since the beginning of it all. It felt juvenile to say, admitting that people’s thoughts and opinions of her was what made her feel good about herself. Did that mean Maisie had been right about her? Was she only interested in Noah because of how he used to once look at her as if she was perfect? 

No, she wouldn't let that be true. He was worth so much more than that to her, even if she had a horrible way of showing it. 

“Fuck other people, Seph. They don't mean anything. Only the people who you feel like yourself around are the ones who matter.” 

“And what if they see parts of me they don't like? Hm? What happens then? What happens when you realize I'm just some fucked up girl who isn't worth the hassle?” 

Seph couldn't stop her voice from breaking as she laid it all out for him. If Noah wanted honesty, then that's what she would give him. And if he happened to run, well, at least she could say 'I told ya so’. 

Instead of using his words, Noah was quick to cross the remainder of the bedroom to where she stood. His large hands enveloped her face and soon he was pulling her up into a kiss that made her heart race and her breathing halt, all at the same time. She was unable to stop herself from leaning into him, eager to have as much of him pressed against her as she could. It was just like they were back in her room a year ago when she craved to truly feel him. Definitely didn't take much for that need to return full force. 

Seph didn't dare break from the kiss as her hand came up to grasp the back of his neck, her fingers briefly tangling into the long strands of his hair. She actually somehow managed to deepen the kiss even as Noah progressed forward, both of them taking in sync steps back to where his bed was. 

As soon as she was lying back against his perfectly made bed, Noah followed right behind her. She pulled him down close against her, his lithe frame settling between her legs, knees pressed firm into his hips. One hand held himself up while the other drifted beneath the shirt she wore, just to feel the warmth of her skin against his own. Seph broke from his lips for mere seconds so she could rid him of his own shirt, which Noah took as an invitation to do the same. It had definitely been one. 

“Noah…” she murmured into his mouth as they again collided in a heated kiss. As much as she didn't want to, she managed to pull back a bit, just as his fingers began to work on the button of her shorts. Though when she stopped, his hands also paused. Seph licked over her lips as she gazed up at him. She was then thankful for her flushed cheeks because that meant the blush creeping up was well hidden. 

“I've never done this before…” she admitted, despite knowing that he probably already knew this from past conversations. As well as Maisie outing her during all of that commotion. There was just a weird urge she had to properly disclose the information to him. 

Noah released her shorts, though his hands shifted to glide along her hips and up her sides in a soothing manner. “Are you sure?” 

There was a pause and then he was shaking his head, laughing in slight embarrassment at himself. “Not ‘are you sure' you haven't done this because I think you'd know if you had. But are you sure that you want to…right now…with me?” 

Of course she couldn't help but to laugh along with him, her nose scrunching at how flustered he had just made himself. Noah’s cheeks were now red with a blush and it was a sight she was hoping to always remember. 

Seph sunk her teeth into her lower lip after their laughter had died down. She didn't want to hesitate with her response because she didn't want Noah to think she was second guessing anything. Maybe the timing wasn't ideal, considering there was a get together happening on the other side of the wall, but Seph wasn't the kind of girl who needed planning and rose petals. The social construct of virginity wasn't that deep to her, not like how a lot of people made it out to be.  All that she cared about was trusting the other person and actually caring about them…much like how she cared for Noah. 

“Yes,” she finally spoke with confidence, just so Noah knew she wasn't second guessing anything that had to do with him. 

Noah then took in a deep breath, giving her a nod of his own before his head angled down and his lips trailed slowly along her neck. Oh, so now he was going to take his time? 

“Just one thing…” she breathlessly mumbled after her eyes had fluttered closed and she was doing all she could to focus on the new sensations sweeping through her. 

“Anything,” Noah continued to kiss and bite at the sensitive skin of her neck, his fingers returning to the button of her shorts that he managed to swiftly pop free. 

Seph softly laughed, her hand lifting to cradle the side of his head in a way that made him pull back just enough to gaze down at her. 

“Can you lock the door?” 

× End of chapter notes!: One guess as to where my eyes started crossing because I was beyond tired but needed to get this completed at a decent stopping point. :') ANYWAYYY, not me pausing halfway through and thinking, "is this about to become a Ruffilo fic?" A story really does write itself sometimes but NO. I had to refrain. But will there more little Peach and Pom moments? Yes. ♥‿♥

If anyone can tell me what the preferred chapter length is among the masses, then that would be greaaat. Stop me from my wild ramblings. Please. Unless you guys are into it and then I guess I'll just keep on truckin'.

[cowboy-robooty]

Will you ever make a discord server or do u have discord in general?

I DO HAVE DISCORD!! its what i usually give people if we end up messaging more than quick DMS ^_^ i wont lie i probably will never make a discord server because ive thought abt it but........ managing everything is so overwhelming and also uh. i dont join a lot of servers let alone talk in the ones im in often but if youve seen me youll know im not exactly. as gus and wiener put it "socialized for humans". im just no good at that stuff and also itd be a pain in the ass because i have people i dont like that i wouldnt want in the server and theyd make it a whole big deal even tho its like dude its a server centered around me trying to make friends and actually now that i say it out loud that sounds pretty concieted 😨 its like im trying to make my own anime harem.... YOU SEE HOW MY MIND RUNS IN CIRCLES?!?!?! but yah i dont think i could manage such a thing i have too many problems with it that i cant even fit it all in my average essay length inbox response... if u wanna be mai friend then check if were mutuals ^_^ because (with VERY few exceptions cuz... sometimes social obligation is strong enough to compell even me) i dont really tend to follow people unless 1) their art/content significantly impresses me and i wanna be their friend bc of that or 2) their posts and personality shown on da blog is insane and i wanna be their friend bc of that. i kinda subscribe to the older culture of only following people if i would be interested in having a connection (facebook friends style). THAT DOESNT MEAN I DONT LIKE YOU IF I DONT FOLLOW YOU!!!! theres a whole lot of people ive seen swimming around wif great shit and i dont follow em just bc i dont have feelings strong enough to do it (i legit only followed back gus like after 7 months of us being friends lol) yah idk....... feel free to dm me but no promises on replying fast or good n all... i desperately want friends but im so unsocialable its insane.... maybe one day ill change my mind but augh just thinking about it stresses me out im trying to make an effort to join moar public servers tho!

[void-inked-pen]

I noticed that you did a kind of an analysis of tmnt 2012 and I was wondering what your thoughts where on Rise's fighting style and how the kids use their weapons?

I technically did analysis of both shows but i can give you an overall consensus

from what i can tell from rise IN GENERAL, they are a lot more balls to the wall about everything action wise. mystic powers adds a whole knew realm of craziness to what they can do and because it overall runs on cartoon logic... the majority of their moves would physically be impossible kjsdhfjkd

the basis for how they fight tho is sound. Splinter fights pretty much exactly like Jackie Chan (considering that's what Lou Jitsu was inspired by, it only makes sense) so all of his moves, minus the tail, are more or less actual martial arts. He is by far our standard, what a master can do and how well he fights regardless of the circumstances. He taught his sons to think outside the box with everything they do and to USE everything at their disposal when they can (fish and ladders), they also are very dynamic with how they fight if not more so.

the only times they show off their skills in regular martial arts was during insane on the mama train and i believe the episode where raph got his sparring buddy. Foot Recruit (Casandra) is probably the only character who... fights with martial arts 90% of the time actually? Raph is the only one of the boys who fights with his fists more often than not but he also is the protector, will jump in the way of attacks, and is close quarters all the time, he actually relies on his mystic armor often and his general bulk as well.

if we compare fighting soley with weapons and their accuracy/skill, rise beats 2012. But if we compare the boys and their actual SKILL at martial arts, my bet is 2012 would in theory have more behind it (though as I've stated before, 2012 doesnt really show any of that correctly if at all. if rise is more creativity focused, 2012 should have been focused more on the martial arts/ tradition aspect. but because they never really fought hand to hand often, its hard for me to really say anything about comparing their martial art skills).

overall, rise is an... odd duck in the tmnt franchise because not only do they have more accurate fighting with the weapons, but we don't actually see legit martial arts outside of the Foot Clan and Splinter... maybe a BIT of Draxum too when he and splinter actually fought hand to hand but not much. Thats it. But taking into account how the turtles in rise are far more immature and more kids who got thrown into a lot of weirdness, it makes sense that they dont really take anything all that seriously. I mean idk if splinter really taught them much on the physical hand to hand past the basics when they were younger before throwing weapons at them.

I would have loved to see more hand to hand fighting with rise, and the tmnt franchise in general, but weapons are seen as cooler to some people and its technically safer to walk around with a "big stick" or "giant sword" than nothing at all. I mean, have you BEEN to new york!? (/hj)

hope this helped in any way, I know it wasn't much. I personally love martial arts street fighting in stories but we don't see that past gangs and delinquent shenanigans and rise is more centered around fun and weird/creative so its hard to really... talk about the martial art side. maybe some day i'll do an overall fight analysis so you guys can learn the basics of "what makes a good fight" vs a bad one but im busy kdsjhfjskd

thanks for the ask!

-Pen

Edit: OH SHOOT! I forgot to add: April knows martial arts too! she shows it off often enough but she also uses her bat equally as much and likes to fight with her brothers at her side, she is literally what I would call "a CO-OP fighter". what that means is, she works best in a pair or group. Using other people as LITERAL spring boards some times and her environment to help her. She has a crane license. what more can I say about the queen herself? lol

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 4/10/2024

spot.//yt

Limp Bizkit - Clunk: clunk. clunk clunk. clunk. clunk

Limp Bizkit - N 2 Gether Now feat. Method Man: it's backkkk and arguably never left. this didn't begin as a favorite of mine from lb but there's just so many good lines and it's so fun. discretion is advised for the blood of virgin eyes; we're limping on the track with the method

Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World: perhaps one of the greatest little riffs ever conceived and also btw i am a nirvana fanboy 😁

Emma Blackery - Blossom: mostly just putting this in bc i don't think i've ever had the chance to talk about how much i adore this song. easily emma's best track, i so wish she would make more that sound like this. it fits her voice so nicely and it's just so breezy and catchy and cute..... summer's a-comin'

Suede - Animal Nitrate: this goes so insane i can't believe it took me this long to find it. and i may be prone to homosexuality... but anyway this just *sounds* sooo good, the crunchy production and the riff and the melody and oh! chef's kiss!

Staind - Mudshovel: revisiting an old favorite! i so wish to perform this song live someday.... i could make it even better. and i wouldn't be a republican about it either

Ice-T - Big Gun: PENIS ALLEGORY!!!!! and VIOLENT WOMEN!!!!!! i need to watch this fucking movie so fucking badly

Limp Bizkit - Back Porch: genuinely one of lb's best songs but completely slept on bc of its placement down at the bottom of gold cobra of all things god help us. also a returning winner from a prior WILT

Sonic Youth - Death Valley '69 feat. Lydia Lunch: sonic youth good. this song in particular hits me every time as if i'd never heard it. gay

Korn - Twist: i've taken to my funny bit of unpromptedly doing the rrh na oom rah dah nn rah mm dah oom rah dah thing in the middle of conversation

Eminem - Just Don't Give A Fuck: i will confess to having a little eminem moment these past days 🫣 but this one is genuinely so good i love his early scrappy shitty music. he just don't give a fuuuuuuck

Sublime - Santeria: this has always been my favorite sublime song bc it's so pretty-sounding and summery and it's about tracking a guy down and shoving a gun in his mouth

Big Pun - Beware: the beat is crazy but admittedly the main appeal of songs where guys say a bunch of words really fast will always be the part where the guy says a bunch of words really fast

The Decemberists - Down By The Water: mostly kind of over the whole radio alternative indie folk pop rock whatever shit but this is so prettyyy and melancholy and i love the harmonizing bc i love harmonizing

Powerman 5000 - Nobody's Real: my friends and i have been watching this music video over and over, it's so fun..... pm5k at their peak was such a cool band with all the visuals and cartoon antics. plus this shit is catchy as hell

DANGERDOOM - Sofa King: i previously thought i wasn't much of a DOOM fan, though i certainly respect the craft, but these days i think it might just be that his most popular material, the stuff people always recommend, just doesn't hit for me as much as his other stuff does (and hopefully will continue to, the more i listen). g

Twin Method - Flawless: these guys were too late to the nu metal game to really get their due (not to mention they were british; that was never a big spot for the genre) but i would posit that they were damn good for a 00s-era entry in the nu canon. this is their "big" song and it holds up pretty good!

Fudge Tunnel - Grey: checked this one out bc lol funny name but they're kinda legit. speaking of british alt metal. i almost wonder if they were on the other side of things, a little ahead of their time...

Blue - All Rise: heard this in an uber and it's been stuck in my brain ever since. i do love boy band r&b, AND i love a courtroom drama, so really i han't go wrong here. lots of brits in this installment i'm noticing

[pansyfemme]

you posting about bottom surgery the other day made me realize that i never really looked into it at all and so i did a little research and now i’m going so insane about it. meta sounds like the best thing in the world

bottom surgery is already underdiscussed in transmasc circles but especially metoidoplasty. like i think people are put off by the size aspect but if you’ve seen photos results often just look like cis dudes on the smaller side of the spectrum, it’s not like its some microscopic thing, the surgery does increase your size. I like it because i 1) was wanting something smaller anyway and 2) it looks really fucking good. have you seen some of those results? theyre legit amazing. Also like the functional aspect is a huge plus. im not saying that phallo isnt functional bc it is, very much so, but its a much lower risk of loss of sensation, and considering i lost a pretty considerable amount in my chest, it is a slight worry of mine. (and the fact that you dont need a pump for erections) so its def the route im gonna go down bottom surgery wise. Its a happy medium for me because im not unhappy with some aspects of what i have right now, theres just.. very present issues i want to fix.

[sainotavailable]

pairings — Venti, Kazuha, Wanderer, Xiao, Kaeya, and Al-Haitham x gn!Reader

summary — You checked your pantry and wow! You don't have shit besides spiders chillin' in the corner of the cabinet. It's time to shop, and your s/o wants to go with you (or in Al-Haitham's case, you drag him along). Would he behave himself and is he OK to bring to society?

tags / warnings — crack / fluff / HCs, almost all of them are insane. kazuha is HIGH ASF, wanderer is an asshole (canon), venti and kaeya have crippling alcoholism, PDA, established relationship, please stop taking these men outside.

A/N — this is my first post. i'm sorry you had to read it but i just write stupid crack hc's or weird shit. also i'm crying because tumblr deleted the first draft i was gonna post. absolutely in tears rn.

Venti “Huh, you’re going to the market? Can I come, can I come!?”

As soon as you step foot into the market, expect him to dash in front of you in search for wine. If you’re in another nation or they’re sold out of his favorite booze, he will drop to his knees and BAWL (but it sounds rly pretty cuz he’s a good bard yk like a disney princess)

you urge him to stand up because he’s being embarrassing and that just makes him roll around on the dirty ass floor because he’s a fucking drama king. legit doing it to spite you even tho you didn’t do shit. however once he recovers he’ll…

put random shit into the basket (no he doesn’t need it he just thinks maybe in the future one of u might. please take it out)

will buy plastic bendy straws so he can drink his alcohol in a silly goofy way

will find a way to eat more than 1 free sample at the food stalls (has a fake mustache for this occasion)

if he finds wine that’s rly expensive he will attempt to seduce you into purchasing it for him (dont feed into his alcoholism)

will try to go into the basket (even if its handheld)

expect him to serenade you the entire time you're shopping, too

also he will hold ur hand and just be all over u. he loves u sm <3

will complain once he gets tired (its only been 10 minutes)

overall, terrible to bring. leave him at home

Kazuha “Oh, have we run out of goods? May I accompany you?”

As you shop, you kind of forget he’s even there until he picks something up to take a closer look and makes a comment. He mostly just chills and follows you around. But…

he actually might be high

how many nakuweeds did u have before you two left? did u count???

all of a sudden he’s adding random snaccs to the basket. when did he ever eat this shit?

as you watch him stuff a dozen doughnuts into ur basket that’s when u realize he might have some crazy munchies. maybe u should ask??

actually maybe not he looks really out of it. he ated all the weeds

as you try and put away some of the shit he put in you see him staring at the local cats

he doesn't know wtf is going on

you should probably go back home now

overall, probably fine to bring with you when he’s not high as a kite

Wanderer “Where are you going? To the market? . . . I better go with you—no, not because I want to, but because you’ll get that generic store brand shit.”

He’s mad and he doesn’t wanna be there, but bc you’re such an asshole who buys generic great value tea. anyways even tho he looks really mad, he doesn’t mind being with you (what a shit) will wander (heh) away from you and look at other stuff. if u try and contain him he’ll get pissy about it and insist he’s an independent puppet-man and he’s not gonna commit tomfoolery anymore. anyways so…

he doesn’t care if ur trying to save mora, he WILL have his namebrand inazuman tea!!!

maybe he won’t… because he understands prices are very tough right now. BUT its not because you told him to, you fucking box

gets PISSED and will become a karen if the cashier doesn’t say hi to him

our boy is toxic and i will not fluff him down this is just him and u like it

will slap your hand if you try and hold his hand. like, not hard. but like, the way a cat slaps your hand when its tired of you petting it.

will hold ur hand if u try a second time but his grip is rly tight cause bro is always tense asf

overall, don’t bring him if you like the store/market you’re going to. you might get banned

Xiao “You’re going to the market? I see . . . It’s getting dark out, so I’ll come with you.”

You know he’s anxious about being around so many people, but he wants to protect you <3<3 so he’ll overcome this obstacle and follow you around like a lost puppy…

actually he’s really close

like holy shit back up xiao, he’s right against ur back

you dont bother to say anything bc yk he’ll say some shit like “YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE ADEPTI”

actually maybe you should grab his hand because he legit looks like a deer in headlights

will hold ur groceries for you bc he’s so strong <3

u can't hold his hand because he's holding his giant fucking polearm "just in case" and holding your bags in the other, so maybe hold his arm??

he loves that shit even if he doesnt admit it

might suddenly leave with ur groceries if he’s called or some shit, will return with torn bags but its ok he did everything he could to fix it!

by fix it i mean now he’s just holding everything and pierced it into his spear

you should just be happy he has everything. don’t comment on it

overall, 10/10. besides the anxiety, he likes being near you even if he doesnt admit it. ur groceries are safe with him just like you are <3<3

Kaeya “Groceries? Oho, well. I have some time, why don’t I go with you? You’ll need a big strong captain to carry all your bags, after all.”

Even if you didn’t want to bring him, he’s coming with you anyways. I think the best part about Kaeya is he’ll stick by your side throughout the trip to the market and follow you around wherever you go.

Honestly, out of everyone else, it feels like he might be the best one to bring with you…

plez expect him to have an arm slung over your shoulders or snaked around your waist. he loves pda!

EXCEPT! he is the KING OF CONSENT(tm) he will only do it if you say its ok! what a sigma chad wtf

i hope you like talking because kaeya fucking loves chatting while shopping. he will not be quiet for long even if you tell him to stfu

even if you’re not the chatty type and you’re pretty quiet, he’ll talk for you. about his day, what he did that morning (even if u already know), what he’s gonna do later, he will not leave a single detail out.

hey btw remember when i said he won’t leave ur side? i lied. don’t trust anyone on the internet.

he will 100% leave your side for the booze market. he is more interested in imported wine that he can get his hands on

will return to you with 6 bottles and insist they’re for you both to share. please stop feeding into his alcoholism

he will carry your bags btw. all of them. he will have both arms packed with bags and won’t complain, might just tease you a little tho.

overall, a fantastic man to bring with you to grocery shop. can protect u cuz he’s a strong cavalry captain who will hold ur belongings without complaint. just feed him booze <3<3

Al-Haitham “. . . Fine, I’ll go with you to pick up some things. I need to pick up a new book to take to work, anyway.”

The moment you enter the marketplace, you most likely will never find your partner again. At least, not until later in your shopping trip. He literally disappeared, where the fuck did he go?

Its only half way through that you find him and see him sitting on one of the benches, flipping through the new book he purchased. You call for him, but his soundproof earpieces are in effect. You snatch the book out of his hands to get his attention and bother him enough to follow you. He lets out a sigh, but gets up anyway…

u rly should’ve left him there cuz he’s so quiet. he might still have his earpieces on.

he’ll follow you around by your side and he’ll hold your bags, too. he’s got big strong arms for a fuckin reason!!

half way through he’ll start reading his book again, sorry but shopping is rly boring to him ok

al-haitham isn’t a pda person btw don’t touch him

might hold ur hand.

will hold ur hand if the cashier is too sus for his liking

maybe

if you run into kaveh while shopping he will leave. if ur holding hands he will leave with u even if u didnt pay for ur shit yet.

overall, um. he’s definitely an option. he’ll hold ur bags??? he just wants to go back home

[sydmarch]

god. what the fuck have you been reading syd. it sounds awful and i delight in seeing you rip on whatever the fuck is happening in that beast. At first i thought it was a fanfic but now im pretty sure its a normal novel?

LOL god ok so i'll try and explain this as concisely as possible. basically this guy travis is friends with awsten from waterparks & they have a podcast where they ig talk about random shit and also sometimes read fanfic about the band (i've never actually listened to the podcast but have been vaguely aware of it for a while now) so recently in addition to that on the podcast's patreon travis has been publishing awsten 3rd person pov rpf fanfic which is set in the fictional universe from one of his series of novels. so basically he's is writing about his REAL LIFE LONGTIME FRIEND hooking up with one of his bandmates and also briefly w/ the band's photographer. & there's legit smut like the "pulling on each other & grabbing each others asses" & "tore each other apart on the floor" bits i quoted in some of my posts. and it's not even well written!! if you want a more in depth breakdown of all this insanity check out this post.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

My rewatch of Hilda season 3

It has been an hour since I finished my rewatch of season 3. And what's amazing, I finished it about 4 minutes before it struck 12 am in my area. if you don't count the extra credits after the original or something. It was 11:56 pm when I was looking at my phone.

Anyway, it's also Christmas today. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you who read this. Or if you're a Hilda fan, Happy Sonstansil if you want to say that.

Again, I'm not spoiling anything huge. But I want to mention this information. The fact that Luke Pearson and Andy Coyle said that there were 6 more episodes planned for this season. But it was shortened to 8 episodes. And I agree with many that I would've liked it if was the usual 13 episodes we got like we did with season 1 and 2.

But to be honest with you all. After my rewatch, even with it being shortened than the previous seasons. I legit think season 3 is an excellent season that is brings an emotional closure to the series. I agree with Andy that we were incredibly lucky to have that third season be even made. And while I do think it being short was fine with me. It still saddens me we didn't get more of the extra episodes we should've gotten.

And I'll admit, I'm sorry I didn't get this out right away. But compared to my reaction last time. The first time I finished season 3...I essentially broke down crying. But this time around, I guess you can say I was happier? More so, I was pacing around in the kitchen, thinking about a lot of stuff. Wondering if I should do a retrospective on the series. And that seems like development for me that the first time I finished it, I was heartbroken. But now, I feel like maybe I've accepted it this time around. Unless the feeling returns, but I felt much better this time around.

I will admit, I still did tear up/cry at that "Memory" part and I'm not spoiling that.

Will admit, I'll never forget my experience watching season 3 for the first time. First time watching something is always special. But back to the point, season 3 is still pretty excellent. Everything about it still oozes brilliance with its animation, writing, voice acting, and many other things. Even if some things could've been dealt with better. But I still appreciate the end result.

Also, I legit think Ryan Carlson legit outdid himself this time around. Season 3 probably has the best score in all the series. Also, the sound design is insane because I mentioned this already. I swear, my volume was only at 18. But I swear, it's so loud that I feel like I'm in an IMAX theater. Or simply a movie theater, but I'm going with the IMAX option because dang, the sound design is some powerful stuff.

And to be honest, when I was pacing around. I was really thinking what my favorite season is of this show. And I don't want to choose favorites for some stupid reason because I love them all. Even though I had wondered about picking season 3 because similar to how I feel about season 2. It was so nice to finally get season 3. Seeing all these characters again, but just how this season goes. And I feel like if we had those extra episodes. This season would likely be my favorite.

I also wanted to talk about something concerning the fandom. The ones that were...a bit negative I could say. With opinions I can understand. Mainly the idea some folks didn't like the idea that this season was more serialized than the other two seasons.

To be honest, I heavily disagree with someone's notion that season 3 was underwhelming, forgettable, and disappointing. I felt the opposite because after watching this show for five years. Even with a shorter season. The crew managed to deliver a satisfying final season. And I'll admit, while chapters 3 and 4 were fun and nice in their own right. I actually didn't mind season 3 being more serialized this time around. Especially with what the focus was on.

And there's also parts of the fandom or...I don't want to sound mean. But to the people who have an issue with certain reveals this season. I totally understand if you don't like season 3 for some of the decisions they make in this. How this may...mess up your AU's or something. But these days, I'm usually all for a creator going with their vision of a show or a movie. If this is how Luke Pearson wanted for season 3, then I will respect his decision. And I honestly loved his direction for season 3. Also, I think if we had more episodes, I think maybe things could've been more cleared up. That's what I hoped the other episodes could've been. Maybe episodes on the Marra, Trylla, Erik and whoever else. Mainly epilogues to certain characters we saw in the finale.

It's almost an Owl House season 3 situation. But in other words, I really don't mind teen Hilda. I don't mind Anders, and I don't mind some of the reveals in season 3. And along with the fact what the themes and story they were telling in season 3. I appreciate what they were doing. Even though I question if my opinions should be considered valid because I don't own any of the books or that's a whole other thing.

I want to finish this soon. But I want to mention two things. You know when I said chapter 2 and even chapter 8. I was getting Silent Hill vibes from certain scenes. I didn't say this the first time. But chapter 6, I think saying Resident Evil vibes or so is the best way to describe how scary that episode is.

And you know what? There are certain characters the Hilda fandom hates. Erik, the Committee of Three, Trylla and even Anders. There are some others. But you know...despite my issues with those characters, season 3 introduced I hate. While I could say the Spider-Frog/Frog-Spider, but no despite how I feel about that character.

The Fairy Entity...that is a character that I would straight up become Bayformers Optimus Prime and be like "Time to find out" to this character. If you've watched season 3, or you know personally, you'll understand why I'm saying this. Screw that character, yet I'm likely overreacting.

Anyway, it's been two hours now. I should post this now.

[randombubblegum]

abt the joywave video, even disconsidering the abuse they both went through with those bands, idkhow doesnt make music that sounds like fir or panic so its pretty understandable that they dont want the band to be associated with bands that have nothing to do with it? like, why should them? just because they had a past in those bands?

no absolutely. idkhow bears only passing resemblance to old panic because DALLON WROTE THOSE SONGS lol but they legit havent sounded similar like. in years and years. and idkhow obviously sounds nothing like fir in any way shape or form????

people just cannot STAND that a musician will not want to be associated with a band that they like or dare to say the band experience was anything but fun. its insane its this weird taking of personal offense that someone would ~dare~ to say they were treated badly and break ties with a former project….. like i still love old panic and as unhappy as i am that dallon was being treated as we now know he was its like. i still love old panic AND i respect dallons right to tell his side of the story? and i love idkhow too???? literally ignoring the issue of past mistreatment if a musician doesnt want to be associated with a past project WHY would you take that PERSONALLY theyre not even saying their old music was bad!!! just that theyre done!!!!

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

If I could give a piece of advice to autistics like me, or simply autistics who struggle to navigate the world and wonder if there's any way to make the pressure of Changes in your brain alleviate at all:

Develop an obsession for finding solutions.

(and to autistics who can't: tl;dr ask someone like me to help you, I would be thrilled)

For the record: I used to be incapable of that. It is legit a skill I taught myself over time, mainly from becoming a better critic for my own writings (yes, skills cross-play with the rest of your life).

Situation: I'm a pretty big tea drinker. I don't like metal filters, I drink by the mug because I like to make different teas in a day. I therefore chose paper filters years ago, and have been happily using them ever since.

Problem: the store we go to stopped carrying them.

World-shattering problem: the brand stopped making them altogether.

Result: with only four filters left, I had to hurry to find an alternative that was still qualitative. I found some, ordered a box a couple of days ago, it arrived today... and the bags are HUGE. Size had not been mentioned, and the packaging made them look small and mug-sized. I am not happy. I'm still gonna use them, but my brain has now been looking for better alternatives for a couple of hours because cannot tolerate to not. Have. The. EXACT. Thing I used to have. Especially considering prices. Dunno what happened, but those quadrupled since last I bought a box a few months ago (no, it's not the size that does it, I checked).

Result 2: I know my brain, and I know it's gonna be a bitch about this filter business. It has been. It's driving me insane (and the husband I expect, who received a litany of comments on Discord as I searched/found potential alternatives/other sites to buy from). It just Can't Let Go, because tea, tea is important, I love tea, I NEED an alternative to coffee because it causes me depression, I need a simple alternative because I am not executively functional in the morning, when I have my first tea.

End result: did you know they make glass tube filters now?

My brain fell in love the moment it saw the photo, and has decreed the tube to be The Only Viable Alternative now. It's cheap, resusable, dishwasher safe, I do love glass items, and it's perfect for a single mug and oohhh I wanna see the leaves dance in my mug without getting into my mouth. It's perfect.

A perfect solution that I found because 1. I couldn't let the problem go (I feel like everyone'll understand me on that front <<), 2. I fixated on finding a different site that sells the right filters, 3. I remembered I have a stainless steel filter somewhere that I could try, but first googled its effects on health, 4. I found an article about that (in French) and discovered other available materials, 5. I googled glass filters out of curiosity and tadaaaaa. Which sounds like a lot of steps. But the hyperfixation + need to find a solution ASAP really breezed me through it.

And I know: not everyone is able to do this. To you who aren't able, I want to say: please, ask someone like me to help you find solutions. I LOVE finding solutions. I love the search, I love the dopamine I get from finding something, and I also love to make people happy, which is extra dopamine. Can't guarantee I'll find these solutions if they're country-specific, but you can bet I'll try to help you to the best of my ability because, yes, I believe we ALL deserve some happiness. And some help.

And now I can finally stop procrastinating but my brain really demanded I write this up to conclude this Tea Chapter. Thank you for tuning in, see you next time my routines are disrupted and/or shattered.

Edit: I have now called myself a tealchemist to the husband and understood exactly why the tube thing appeals to me. Alchemists are a big part of Aeyuu('s issues... XD;)

[evilmagician430]

u know what fuck it *posts my venturiantale warrior cats*

uh this is just the acachalla immediate family + maddie though i will post the pie cats when i've drawn all of them

i fucking LOVE designing warriorcats with stupid design motifs and shit and i love turning characters that already exist from something i like into the type of character in something else i like. this is one of those things in life that keep me relatively sane

"lore":

blazestar is the clan leader but her warrior name was blazepool ^_^ i only mention this because when i came up with her name i thought it was soo pretty then i remembered if shes the clan leader she has 2 have the suffix -star. so the nice name i came up with went out teh window entirely. she became clan leader after the former leader and his deputy DIED in the same night due to a mysterious incident. nobody rlly cared though rip bozos. time 4 milf power. the medicine cat literally had a vision about how blazepool needs 2 be the new clan leader. thats how they decided so suddenly after that night in... garry'sclan...

missingfur is literally an old man he needs to stop killing people over territory boundaries but he doesnt have any other pastimes since he doesnt have any good stories or even ticks

pigeonfoot is the medicine cat and hes billy if you cant tell. i think all my designs r pretty obvious though so whatever. he knows everything awful that is going on but hes so dumn he forgets it instantly after starclan tells him. he caused a girl 2 spiral into insanity entirely on accident. he so cute i put little stars in his eyes because i thought that would be a fun idea for medcats 2 have stars in their eyes like how leaders r sometimes drawn with a star on their chest or forehead (like i did w blazestar..) i legit based his fur patterning and stuff off of a pigeon because again. cuteness points. the vm influence is deep under my skin like scarabs

BRIARFACE the little thing next 2 one of their ears is actually supposed 2 be a briar flower idk if you can see it. the token former kittypet. she used to live in a house but then she saw blazestar and missingfur on her patio one day and blazestar was like "what are your pronouns" and briarface (then some silly housecat name like uhh sweetums) was like. "she/they, i guess, but my housefolk have no way of knowing that, they just think im a tom" and blazestar was all like "if you join our clan we will call you by your preferred pronouns" and she was like folding missingfur's ears closed the whole time since he insisted on coming to the new recruit and wouldve been a bitch. and sweetums said "what?". and blazestar said "what." genuinely not understanding what they were not understanding. 2 weeks later she would become part of the family and be christened briarface because briar is like briar rose and it sounds pretty and face because they have distinctive facial patterning.

mapleclaw is the strongest toughest roughest prettiest girl in garry'sclan and she goe's two hell every night to get better at it. this isnt a secret though everybody knows and nobody minds. pigeonfoot found out from a vision and told everyone and they were like. cool. and he was like oh i guess its fine then. must not be that bad. like her venturiantale counterpart she also lost her entire original family when she was young to murder carried out by none other than JIMMY CASKET... a name that gets sillier the more i think about it. in this au or whatever his name is gravelblade. more on gravelblade later..

rustedpaw oh my god.. el gato ever. he also had all his remaining family die for unspecified reasons when he was quite young. blazestar finds him sitting pathetically in a pile of blood next to one or more of his family members corpsces. takes him home adopts him without question and apprentices him to gravelstep (gravelblade's non evil default form) but then he tries 2 kill missingfur in his sleep and #fails and blazestar is like!!! not my platonic babygirl guy best friend with tax benefits!! and they both decide 2 DIG A HOLE IN THE GROUND LIKE A FOXHOLE and make him live in there 4 being a foxheart (attempted murder). then he just lives there. screaming to be heard. sometimes a cat will stop by to talk with him out of pity or genuine interest. sometime it will be mapleclaw as she's also in charge of bringing him food. also gravelstep is bummed abt being out of an apprentice bht blazestar is like "Don't worry... youre still my fav deputy :)" and gravelstep says " i am your only deputy stop acting like its a superlative"

foxflower used to be a friend of pigeonfoot's who had like a big crush on him and was contantly teasing him, flirting with him and every1 thought they were going to become mates but pigeonfoot just wasnt into her like that. this was solidified when he became a medicine cat and foxflower was like. oh fuck now i REALLY cant have him. so instead she dedicated her life to evil. she still harasses pigeonfoot while hes working and in defense mode mapleclaw killed her early on. they forgot 2 bury her and she stood up and started talking and walking around again 24 hrs later. this was how they discovered every1 in garry'sclan or venturianclan or whatever im calling it has infinity lives..

because they exist purely 2 entertain starclan and nothing they do or that happens 2 them matterz. blazestar actually found this out while she was becoming leader but 4got 2 tell everyone ^_^;

gee whiz i did not realize how much text i would need to type out the lore i had in my head 4 these guys OOPS. guess i really am that deranged. i hope theres like a read more thing on this post when i put it up so this isnt like hell to scroll past everytime uhh goodnight!

[valfruits-archived]

[<- guy whos only just caught on to the podcast craze after seeing ppl rave abt it for years] getting into podcasts has been such a good decision actually doing daily chores is sometimes even enjoyable now that i can listen to my little entertaining radio stories do u think ppl know about this. revolutionary. ANYWAY!

- AuDy being uncomfortable with the whole hacking into bots thing :( + the JM unit seeming like it was gaining sentience the more Mako hacked it (+some things that come up a few eps lated re: the way hacking works in this universe). also the JM units are so funny.

- im loving the (what seems to be a) pattern where jack's characters all play so....idk inconspicuously? until they do some off the cuff shit -> AuDy impulsively kidnapping sister rust bc she was just laying there knocked out & they were like oh free ransom. spiritually very similar to lem impulsive staying in death city after being told it would trap him & his friends there purely because he wanted to like go to a museum & also chat with the guy he developed a parasocial relationship with.

- i love the way they're playing this game where theres one party doing the traditional tabletop rpg playing as a group of characters doing their thing & then theres the other party playing as the different factions of the universe itself - the governmental & corporate bodies that rule over the planets. its cool & more than that i didnt think about it before it came up but it is actually quite refreshing to have these sort of pov breaks

- more divine lore yayy! grace is pretty much exactly what i expected but still fun. love that thing that happened with her at the end of the scene where she induced some kind of emotional/psychological (religious) experience in everyone around her by like talking to them in their heads/making them feel physical sensations. her candidate didnt talk or do much in this scene but i liked the glimpse of the like body modifications they undergo in order to connect to the divines. righteousness sounds sooo cool like design wise havent met them yet but they sound appropriately insane. & Lux + Voice + Loyalty is soo interesting. as of the episode ive gotten to they dont seem to have quite decided whether Voice is fully artificial or whether its a legit divine the September Institute hacked & like reprogrammed to their own ends. but the thing about how every time one of the Institute's hackers do their hacking thing its actually Voice influencing the bot/mech/etc was definitely interesting remembering the like very coy hints austin kept giving about the JM unit gaining a little bit more sentience & independence the more Mako hacked it. Loyalty sounds so sweet & nice & also so so gullible poor Loyalty but also extremely thematically fitting of course to make Loyalty so easily blinded & swayed by some attachment to an individual to the point where it clouds their judgement.

[sylvanianfamiliez]

Ok you know what I am so curious. I've been wanting to get into doll customization lately so I was wondering where to start, just for future reference? Like where do you get bases from and clothes from etc...!

oh my god um good question. i presume u mean bjds and bjd-like dolls bcuz those are my bestfriends. for bjds however most of the time You Will Pay Premium Prices but if u wanna look my favourite places r newclover-singing and acbjd ^-^ they sell clothes from taobao but i usually go straight to taobao i have lists of good shops and stuff

BUT!!! i will give u some alternatives that are cheaper but unfortunately none of them r like SUPER cheap. FIRST OF ALL RESINSOUL THEY MAKE INCREDIBLE CHEAPER BJDS I LOVE RESINSOUL MY BELOVED MYEVERYTHING. they’re not to everybody’s taste but god i love resinsoul. the quality is insane for those little things and they rly care for their customers. also im an obitsu stan i love obitsu they make vinyl/plastic dolls, usually anime-type and they’re fun and cute and fresh. there’s also night lolita but god. okay. u get into some difficult territory here because there’s plenty of plastic hinge bjd-like dolls on aliexpress but. the majority of them are stolen. from actual bjds. its really hard to find smth that ISNT a recast which i will also talk about NOWWWW

so. if you go on aliexpress and search for bjds you will find many bjds for significantly cheaper prices that sounds more reasonable but. the problem there is that they are all stolen from actual bjds companies who hand sculpt their dolls from scratch. ball jointed dolls are pretty pricy but for good reason. for the people who make them to EAT they have to be. they take months to sculpt, finish, and then individually cast and sand (most of the time -_-). resin is expensive and also incredibly toxic and they have to take significant safety measures so they don’t like. die. and after all that work, nobody gets rich off bjds despite how expensive they are. they also need the space to let the dolls cure because resin takes a while to cure, so another expense is the space a doll takes to make. what recasters do is take a doll sold by a legit company and remould it and sell it as their own, and many legit companies have already gone out of business for this. the actual artists who made these dolls can no longer make their own dolls because somebody stole them to sell cheaper. and one reason they can sell them cheaper is because they don’t give a shit about their workers safety while working with very hazardous materials. not only the resin, but many recasters offer faceups too which uses toxic and deadly materials. so by buying recasts you are not only fucking over the people who lovingly sculpted the doll, you are also ACTIVELY KILLING THE PEOPLE WHO MADE YOURS. they will die. people have and they will continue to.

anyway sorry i get heated abt recasts i need people to understand how serious an issue it is when like. they see my dolls and don’t realise how expensive they are and decide to go for the cheaper option. so yeah good cheap companies r resinsoul and also df-a/df-h (there’s more but i don’t rember off the top of my head) also there’s sales pretty often and instalment payment systems with most dealers. that’s how i get all mine lol. or secondhand!!! check facebook groups, insta #bjdsale, or ebay for secondhand dolls!!! mico and kass r both secondhand ^-^

oh also um my favourite taobao stores r bears (<3) and another dimension