#that was a lot sorry for the wall of text

[tagetto]

"TURBO" - The horror of 1987!!!

idk coming year 2002 or something directed by Michael Bay to ensure the crash scene has lots of explosions and that turbo's kart is a transformer.

anyways this thing was loads of fun to do, not something I usually make by any means but @/randomalistic's incredible analysis video inspired this piece weeks ago, I had the most vivid image of this Turbo in my mind based on the way they described him and HAD to get it down on paper. I originally was concepting FNaF designs and had some YouTube videos on for background noise but this video had me HOOKED, I opened a blank canvas and here this thing came lmfao.

TW HORROR, EYESTRAIN & BLOOD!!!

wip/alternate pics.

BONUS TEST VRCHAT CLIP SINCE YALL LIKED THE LAST (turbo avi will be release soon btw, i wanna make some twins toggles for him and hue sliders for OCs + fix the visemes. im using face tracking & gestures in this clip so it looks like poop rn) 😭 TW SCREAMING AGAIN!!

okay bye tumblr im so sorry for the wall of text, etc.

[latteunwoo]

meet-cute!vernon

to be fair, the two of you did share a lot in common

one of those things being that the two of you shared the same braincell (this was endorsed by wonwoo who watched yours and vernon's first meeting unfold)

you finally had a free day from both school and work and decided to take a little walk around the city and check out the music store across the street from the coffee shop you always get your morning coffee from

the store wasn't very big nor did it seem very popular as it was one of those hole in the wall places that you could only notice if you looked hard enough

that being said, there was probably like four other people besides yourself in the store

"welcome!" the store owner said as she welcomed you as you entered the store

you simply gave her a soft smile as you made your way through the crates filled of vinyl records towards the back of the store

as you reached out to grab a boys like girls vinyl that you had caught in the corner of your eye, another hand reached for it from the otherside as well making you jump not realizing someone else had been in the vinyl section as well

of course the boy jumped as well when you had jumped, causing the vinyl that was in both of your hands and your phone to fall onto the ground

"i'm so sorry, i didnt mean to scare you" he said as he reached down to help you pick the vinyl and your phone from the ground but instead ended up headbutting you as you both stood up again at the same time 😭

wonwoo couldnt help but laugh from the other side of the room

"and so it begins" wonwoo said to himself as he watched the interaction between the two of you

"oh my god, I am so sorry. are you okay?" vernon asked as you rubbed your forehead after the impact.

"i'm fine," you said as you looked up at him to see he had a red mark on his forehead, which made you start laughing.

vernon raised an eyebrow at you at first before you pointed to his forehead

"are you okay?" you asked as he rubbed his forehead a little then nodded

"yeah, I'm fine. does it look bad?"

you let out a small laugh, "kind of."

vernon unknowingly let out a small chuckle as he couldn't help but notice how cute your laugh was

once he had caught himself he quickly cleared his throat before looking back at the vinyl in your hand

you noticed his gaze and looked back at him

"um... are you going to get that?' he asked as you just nodded, "oh"

there was a small awkward silence betwen the two of you as you thought about what to say because it looked like he really wanted the vinyl too and there was only one left, however you've also been looking for this for a while

eventually a thought came to you, "it looks like you also want this vinyl and i don't think they'll have more stock of it until a few months from now so if you want i'd be willing to let you borrow it sometime. if that's okay with you?"

there was another silence between you two as he looked at you then the vinyl and back to you

"that's fine with him," wonwoo said from behind vernon as vernon quickly turned to his hyung with a look of 'what are you doing?!'

wonwoo just smiled at vernon and gave him a look of 'i'm trying to help you' before he went back to looking at the other vinyls

"um... so...." you said as even though wonwoo said it already you still wanted confirmation from vernon

"y-yeah sure that's fine with me." he said quickly as you nodded and took out your phone and gave it to him to put his number in

"i'll send you a text so you can save my number too and you can just message me whenever you want to borrow it um.... vernon," you said as you looked at the contact name he put on your phone and smiled up at him.

"yeah, for sure" vernon said, still trying to process just exactly what was currently happening.

"alright, well, i'll see you around," you said as you gave him a soft smile before walking back to the front of the store to purchase the vinyl.

as you walked away, vernon stood there still trying to process what had just happened.

"hyung, what just happened?" he asked as wonwoo laughed and patted vernon's shoulder

"you might have just gotten yourself a possible date"

vernon quickly turned around as wonwoo noticed his ears started to turn red, "what do you mean?!"

"what do i mean?", wonwoo asked as he let out a smal laugh, "i saw how you looked at her. it seems like you're interested in her so you're welcome."

"i didn't- that's not- ah, whatever," vernon said as he quickly walked away and wonwoo just laughed

that night, you had texted vernon to make sure that he also got your number and since that day you two began texing each other more often and finding out that you actually had a lot in common

seventeen m.list || main m.list

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 9, Part 7

CW: Mental Health Struggles - Guide to content warnings

The last thing Carson felt like doing on a warm morning was dressing up and getting the ferry to Copperdale, but he had no choice. That’s where the high school was, even if it was covered in several inches of snow. He quickly headed inside to the library to double check his homework. Confident he hadn’t missed anything he decided to go find some friends.

Darwin was in his usual spot, asking the milling students for some homework he could copy. Study was not his priority.

Darwin: Carson! My best buddy. How about that math homework? Can I check your answers

Carson: Math home- we didn’t have math homework

Darwin: You sure? I got a text from Anya reminding me but then I changed topics

Carson: She’s not even in our year Darwin. And isn’t she like best friends with Artemisia?

Darwin: Oh yeah. She must have taken her phone and sent me a bogus text, she takes me flirting with her friend personally for some reason

Nanami: So I’m thinking we should shift you more to the middle and then while you’ve got the flyer-

Onyx: We’ll have more room for tumbling up the left side, got it

Ariadne: Hey Onyx

Onyx: Hmm? Oh hey Ariadne. Have you met Nanami? She’s in cheer with me

Ariadne: I don’t think so. I was actually hoping I could speak with you for a minute

Onyx: Yeah sure. Catch you in math Nanami?

Nanami: Math. The best class for doodling routines in

Onyx: You all good Ariadne

Ariadne: Yeah thanks. I, um... how close are you and Carson

Onyx: Me and Carson? Oh we go way back, best friends since forever

Ariadne: Are you and he... like together?

Onyx: What? No, no. We just grew up together in scouts and stuff, our dads are best friends

Ariadne: So he... he’s not dating anyone?

Onyx: *smiling* Tell you what, he’s over there by the mural project if you wanted to check with him

Ariadne: Oh no, I mean I didn’t-

Onyx: Bye now

Carson stared at the wall. What to paint, what to paint, what to paint? He was deep in thought when he heard Ariadne talking and had to stop himself kicking over a paint can accidentally.

Carson: Sorry what?

Ariadne: Oh, ah... I just asked if you’re... painting anyone-thing at the moment

Carson: I’m trying to paint but *sighs* I don’t know how mum does it. I love art but a blank canvas and I just falter. Maybe I didn’t inherit the right genes

Ariadne: I know what you mean. My grandmother... well she did a lot and I’m not sure I can do any of it half as well

Carson: I’m sure you can, you're brilliant

Carson was busy staring at the mural but that made Ariadne smile.

Ariadne: It’s so much colder here than Sulani, how do you stand the change everyday

Carson: *shrugs* I get by. I mean I have been in snow when we lived in willow creek. Are you cold?

Ariadne: Yeah... a little bit

Carson: You should tell your dads. I’m sure they’d wrap you in furs before you could blink

Ariadne: Oh I like my animals alive thanks. Listen, could we- I wanted to ask...

The bell rung loudly and a startled Carson began to pack up, terrified of being late. If he was late his grade would go down. Or he’d get detention. And if he got detention once he was bound to keep getting it and then he’d be kicked out of school. His parents would probably die from embarrassment. Wait, Ariadne had been saying something...

Carson: Sorry, you were going to ask something?

Ariadne: Nevermind, I better get to class

Carson tucked the paints away and watched her walk off. He liked that they were both wearing green today. It was matching in a way. Not that she was likely to want to match with him. Especially if he got kicked out of school. He ran the rest of the way to class one she was out of view.

Mrs T: Hurry up, everyone sit down. Who can tell me what we did in our last math class

Darwin: Sleep

Mrs T: We all know you did Darwin, we heard you snoring

The class giggled and Darwin tried to look put out but Carson knew he loved being the centre of attention.

Carson: We were talking about how to find x if there’s more than one

Mrs T: Very good Carson. Now, who can tell me our first step to solve the written equation

Carson: Nice job on that last question Paola, it threw me for a loop

Paola: Thanks! I was practising all weekend, no way am I flunking exams this week

Onyx came over and pulled Carson aside.

Onyx: What do you think you’re doing

Carson: Talking to our friend?

Onyx: Dude did Ariadne not talk to you? I think she’s interested. Last thing you want her to see is you talking to someone attractive. Oh quick, look like you’re talking to me so I can watch Zharfina

Carson: Does she... have binoculars?

Onyx: Isn’t it adorable

After eating Carson went to work on the mural again. Every so often he checked behind him to see who was around. He hoped Ariadne would come over and talk again, he was a doofus for not giving her more attention earlier. When she did come in she made a beeline for the food and Carson was sad to see that Artemisia was there talking to her. Stupid. Artemisia was probably busy telling her that Carson was seeing half a dozen girls, or gave terrible hugs, or-

Carson got so worked up at himself he had to leave the mural to chill out upstairs before class. As it was he almost stabbed his book with his pencil several times during science class. Thank goodness he had an appointment with Chad after school.

Previous ... Next

[swiftfootedachilles]

Omg please spill the tea because I have the same strife !! Which mischaracterizations ?! 👀

girl i literally cant to that publicly i would get blackballed by the popular blogs. the fics and posts ive made have already flopped HARD and im rejection sensitive i actually dont know what i would do if popular blogs stopped interacting with me entirely 😭 im being so fr right now some of my opinions would have me sent to fandom prison 😭

but i will say that a lot of it is people like..... blatantly ignoring things that are canon. and if you know me you know i dont think canon is perfect! like i actively ignore the fact that writers made gallavich verse, i am not saying we have to conform to canon! but there are things we see characters say and do multiple times across many seasons, and a huge part of the fandom has just.... collectively decided to ignore it

i guess ill give one hot take as an example: "ian fell first but mickey fell harder" im sorry but i do believe this quote to be accurate because mickey had much more to lose by coming out. "fell harder" doesnt refer to him being more in love with ian, it refers to how much the realization of being in love effected his life. he nearly died, was brutally sexually assaulted, forced into an arranged marriage with his rapist (i use that term loosely when referring to svetlana, because it was moreso terry raping mickey by proxy), forced to raise a child and be reminded every second of every day that he was assaulted, had the shit beat out of him in public, just overall treated so inhumanely by terry. ian simply did not experience such homophobic abuse his from family. and - whether we like it or not - we cant ignore the vile shit ian said in mickeys absence in s6 onward. he laughed about mickey being raped. yes i think the writers completely missed the mark by doing that, but im not someone who can just ignore that he bad talked mickey several times. i think its a shame to ignore that this happened, because it does add so much complexity to his character. like i could write a whole essay on ian in the middle seasons and how his canon treatment of mickey (both when mickey was in prison and in s7e11+12) makes him more complex than the fandom wants to believe..... plus the whole 87% thing. like i love ian but he canonically does and says very bad and mean things, and thats part of WHY i love him. i love characters who are bad people. being a bad character and being a bad person are two completely different things and people dont wanna believe that bc they see ian as ~perfectly imperfect~

on a similar note...the way people mischaracterize debbie as evil is so fucking stupid - and i truly believe its ableism because they demonize her (imo) bpd symptoms

[kagooleo]

the gangs all here!!!

[two-dolla-bills]

I have noticed a trend in recent years of an oddly specific type of guy in the media, which is guy (most often brown/non-white) who is constantly going through it with long graying hair. I have decided to dub this group of men the Tired Brown Boys Association (name is subject to change)

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[baalzebufo]

some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao

theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.

pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?

also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there

other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there

sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3

[bandtrees]

got a ref down for my dialtownsona c: has inexplicable one-sided beef with god about their respective fursonas. millennia-old closed species drama, that is.

dog tries dogs hardest to be an upstanding gent and uplift the downtrodden citizens of dialtown - but it's easier said than done with the kinds of people who live in this town, and when dog can hardly look after dogself.

as a result, joey bible's kind of a jaded guy who tends to slack off on his job, but not without guilt on the matter, always compelled to try and be a good samaritan to varying degrees of success. if nothing else, he's giving more of an effort than his boss, so that's something.

joey was around long before the worldwide dialup and has been changing dogs head out to be various gimmick toys, etc, fitting the time period to, "like, inspire the children and junk?". dogs idog era is much preferred to the likes of dogs Furby era.

in the world of canon relations, he prides himself on being marginally more respected by mayor mingus than his boss is. he's a little smitten with phonegingi, too, but isn't everyone?

(full name "joeyseph", given to him by god (who doesn't even really remember MAKING angels, and sometimes thinks joey's just some guy gaslighting him?), who has claimed it was, quote, "to differentiate you from the other joseph from the bible". joey is still a bit mad about it.)

[melverie]

Okay, but you guys do realize that the reason Mephisto behaves the way he does is because he has been raised with the intent of only being beneficial to the future demon king and nothing else, right?

(Buckle up because this is going to be a loooonnngggg post)

Mephisto comes from a family that has been serving the royal family for ages. He mentions multiple times that his family has always acted as their knights, their advisors and their protectors to them, and it won't be any different with him. It shouldn't be any different with him. Being beneficial to Diavolo has literally been decided to be the very meaning of his life even before he was born. He's been forced into the role and he's following it to a T because he's never known anything else, and because he can't afford to lose that. Without it, what else is left of him? What worth does he hold other than being essentially a tool for Diavolo?

And then the brothers fall and suddenly his position is at risk. Lucifer and Diavolo have already gotten along fairly well back when Lucifer was still an angel. Both Diavolo and Lucifer (as well as several others) mention that they go way back in their Nightbringer homescreen dialogues, and we see them having mutual respect by the end of the 'The Glory Days' Devilgram in the original game. Mephisto and Diavolo meanwhile might be childhood friends, but here's the thing

Diavolo wants a friend. A real friend. Someone that genuinely appreciates him for who he is as a person instead of focusing on his status as the future demon king. And that's something Lucifer can give him. They often hang out for the sake of it (apparently even eating dinner at Ristorante Six together regularly), they regularly engage in lighthearted banter, and Lucifer isn't afraid to give Diavolo his honest opinion

But that's not really the case with Mephisto...? He was never meant to be on equal footing with Diavolo; Diavolo even calls him "mini-Barbatos" at one point. He is literally still calling him 'Lord Diavolo' all the time, requests to speak his honest opinion first and waits for Diavolo to allow him to do so before actually giving it. That's why Mephisto keeps pushing down his own feelings and keeps showering Diavolo in praise any opportunity he gets while he adjusts every aspect of life to be beneficial to Diavolo in a way. Sure, he might be popular, but as long as Diavolo doesn't want him to get married he doesn't even waste a thought about relationships. He might have no real interest in journalism, but of course he'll take over RAD's Newspaper Club. After all, Diavolo asked him to! He's part of the House of Lords because as the future king's right-hand man that just makes sense. He was always just meant to be a tool for the crown prince to use, so he doesn't know how to treat Diavolo as anything but. He was literally groomed to be dispensable, so he's obviously going to act like it

And that's also where Mephisto's dislike for Lucifer stems from—he can only watch as Lucifer slowly grows closer and closer to Diavolo, and threatens to take the role that was always made up to be his. And so Mephisto keeps challenging Lucifer over and over again, trying to sabotage their friendship any way he can in hopes of winning back his position as the crown prince's right-hand man

That obviously doesn't make the way he treats Lucifer (and the rest of the brothers!) right. Lucifer isn't responsible for any of this, and blaming him for it is misguided. But it still doesn't change the fact that Mephisto has the right to be hurt at the situation at hand. His entire purpose of existence is just being ripped away from him right before his eyes and all he can do is watch. That must hurt. Especially when your entire familiy's purpose has been to serve the royal family, and you are the first one to lose that

Also, I feel like something else we need to talk about is how his fight only ever really seems to be with the brothers, especially Lucifer? Again, part of the reason is the entire Diavolo situation, sure, but I feel like it also has to do with the situation in the Devildom at large? I already vaguely talked about this in a different context a few months back, but ever since the brothers have been cast out of the Celestial Realm and arrived in the Devildom, the entire situation has just been super unstable. We as a player have a unique perspective on the events because we only have a limited outsider view to on the actual politics going on the the Devildom, while also being aware how things will play out in the future. We know that ultimately letting the brothers stay is the right choice, but that's not the way a regular denizen who has to live through all this sees it. I mean, just the way Mephisto describes the brothers really puts things into perspective:

The entire realm is super destabilized, they just semi-lost their current king, and there have been multiple very real threats of war—first when the Devildom took the brothers in in the first place, then when "Raphael" showed up and told the brothers to return, and Lucifer rightfully points out to (a comatose) MC that they are bound to go to war should the Celestial Realm ever find out that Diavolo turned Lilith into a human. There's just a lot of tension in the air, and the brothers—extremly powerful as both angels and demons—seem to be at the root of most of it in one way or another. From a the House of Lords' perspective, it makes sense to want the brothers gone, same goes for a denizens perspective. And while it is a delicate situation all around that can't just be blamed on the brothers, it makes sense for Mephisto to also see them at the center of it all. Again, that doesn't make the brothers' treatment right, but it's at least understandable given the circumstances

On a side note, when discussing his beliefs, I think it's also important to remember that he to this day is incredibly sheltered. He just accepts all this as normal because to him it is normal, but as we've seen in lesson 31 hard mode Thirteen was so shocked by his views that she immediately decided to drop everything and play therapist for him (absolute Queen for not just blaming it on him btw 💖). I know this was just a throw-away line, but this paired with him basically excisting to serve Diavolo already says so much about his character:

And with everyone else he seems to be generally pleasent? I mean, he says he doesn't want anything to do with angels or humans, and yet he risks getting injured in order to save Luke from falling. Yet he actively seeks out MC to solve one of the 666 Mysteries of RAD together with them, and saves them from tumbling on the floor because "anyone else would have done the same" (they wouldn't have. The season 1 brothers would have laughed straight in MC's face). He literally complained to Thirteen about how he was just about to go home and how he doesn't have time for her, yet diligently carries all her things for her as rain is pouring down on him. His actions always end up betraying his words

Also he has a massive sweet tooth which alings perfectly with one of the headcanons I had for months and is RAD's local horse girl so we stan! <3

-> more character & relationship analyses -> masterlist

[backmarkerr]

please....can u speak on the conspiracy

So the conspiracy (more like a theory, really) is that Kimi was pushed out of the team starting in 2008 to make way for Fernando, who was more appealing to the big sponsor coming in. Before you click out thinking "Max, that's stupid, no team would throw a championship for a sponsor." I agree! But keep in mind that they didn't throw the championship, they fully expected to win the WDC with Felipe (and almost did) and did in fact win the WCC in 2008 with Felipe and Kimi despite everything. But there were really suspicious things going on. So with that in mind...

It's 2008. Kimi has just won Malaysia, the second race of the season. Three days after his win, there's this:

.

Ok, kinda weird, but whatever. F1 runs on rumours, right? Suggesting that Kimi might retire when he's doing so well is silly. And in the article they seem to be pretty ambivalent over whether it would be Felipe or Kimi to leave.

Fast forward to Spain two races later. Kimi scores his second win of the season and takes the championship lead. The season is shaping up pretty well for the defence of the title, you’d think this would be a good time for him, but again, the story du jour is Ferrari wanting Alonso in Kimi’s seat for 2009.

[x] I guess now we know at least Massa's seat is secure...?

If you’re like me, that sounds stupid. The reigning champion just won the last GP and his contract runs until the end of 2010, so this media narrative makes no sense. Something pretty catastrophic would have to happen for that to ever come to fruition, right?

So anyway, he gets a first row start in Monaco. Great, that's almost a surefire win/points, right? Wrong, he got a drive-through penalty due to the team not fitting the wheels to the car on time before the race start. Not a great race and he ends up outside of the points. Lewis is now ahead in the WDC by 3 points. Not really a disaster, but...

[x] what on earth...

[x] again the talk of retirement.... I mean, it's weird, right?

Zero points in Canada due to being rear-ended in the pitlane, which the team can’t control. Then he’s back to being neck to neck with his teammate and Lewis by the time the British GP is done in early July, with all three drivers on 48 points. Good news, right? Just gotta stay on track and not fuck it up somehow.

[x] sigh... (this one's a little harder to source as it was printed media, but I've seen this exact interview quoted in different pages)

So anyway, they change his front suspension for the next race in Germany. Kimi has always been very sensitive to changes in the car, so he knew something was wrong. Ferrari (via Michael, who was then head of development) say he's just not adapting well to the upgrades. Maybe, sure, but why aren't you bringing upgrades that are geared towards your world champion?

(an interesting remark from Mark Hughes here if you scroll down to the comments, which adds weight to Kimi not being listened to when it came to car development in 2008)

Bar a podium in Hungary, Kimi scores 0 points in 4 out of the next 5 races. It takes until either Monza or Singapore (hello crashgate!) for Ferrari to put his suspension back as it was.

He proceeds to get 3 podiums in the remaining 3 races but it’s not enough to catch up. By Singapore he was already 27 points behind his teammate (reminder this is the old points system) and very much expected to play the supporting role. In the penultimate race in China he very obviously gave up P2 to his teammate:

"I know what the team expects." [x] / [x]

Yet the narrative in the media and from Ferrari themselves is that his motivation is bad and he's not assertive. It was so pervasive that to this day people still parrot it and say he just didn’t care after 2007, despite Kimi always stating he was fully committed and clearly getting annoyed whenever journalists asked about his motivation even years later.

Montezemolo at the end of 2008 even 'joked' that "Kimi in the recent races was replaced two or three times by a friend, but next year he'll be back." Basically saying that Kimi wasn't really present, you know? An interesting thing to say when this absent driver scored 18 points in the last 3 races (three consecutive P3s), while the one who was amazing and had the team's full backing scored 20 (P7, P2, P1).

A whole 2 points' difference, maybe someone should hire that "friend"...

So why did they do this?

Well, the theory is that Santander (I promise this isn’t like the dumb Sainztander takes) wanted a Spanish-Brazilian lineup due to financial interests (Spanish bank, big market in South America with a looming IPO in Brazil), so Kimi was basically being pressured out of the team from early 2008 onwards. Like I said at the start, the team weren’t really throwing away 2008, as they expected to win the WCC with both drivers (they did) and Massa to be able to win the WDC, which would of course be beneficial for their new sponsor. And he almost did. Almost.

[x] they're not in charge of driver selection but this specific driver line-up would good for them. (this archived copy of the article is from 2010, but the text makes it clear it's from 2009)

Of course at this point we have to wonder if a team like Ferrari would bow down to a sponsor's demands. I can't tell you what the internal considerations were or how much money was on the line, but it's also not like Santander were telling them to get rid of Kimi for a bad driver, you know? Fernando is a great driver, so from Ferrari's perspective they were just trading a great driver for another great driver who also appealed to this huge sponsor, and an Alonso-Massa line-up would be solid. And with the previous talk that Ferrari and Alonso had already inked a deal in 2008... It's just difficult to believe there isn't a grain of truth here.

So the alleged initial plan of having Alonso in 2009 was foiled when Kimi activated the renewal option in his contract. It was then that he was bought out of his last year (apparently paid for by Santander).

[from the book The Unknown Kimi Raikkonen]

As we can see, by the end Kimi was also fed up with what was going on, especially people pointing the finger at him and at his motivation, and his frustration is very clear in interviews like here at 2.35 and here:

Publicly, Ferrari said they wanted someone more in line with how Michael used to be (ironic since Montezemolo allegedly didn’t like how Michael made the team his), who could communicate with the team and give better feedback (ironic when Todt, Dyer, Stella and others said Kimi was very clear and precise.) Kimi himself has always stated that he wasn’t the issue, that his motivation was never lacking and that the real reason he was pushed out was politics and money.

[x]

[x]

If it had only been the mechanical stuff, I’d be willing to chalk it up to just bad luck and incompetence. Shit happens. But with all the rumours around it even before things went bad on the track and Kimi stating that his work and performance weren't the reason he was let go it becomes impossible for me to think there wasn’t an actual push going on to replace him.

Hell, even famed Ferrari fanboy Sebastian Vettel didn't think it was realistic for Kimi to return to Ferrary in 2014 precisely because Kimi isn't one for "bullshit" and "politics". Why would he choose to say that specifically? And according to Finnish media Kimi’s 2014 Ferrari negotiations included Montezemolo personally apologising to him. Now why would he apologise if they hadn’t done something wrong?

Personally I think Kimi's "certain people did certain things" refers to this. He never trashed anyone and always said he had no ill-feelings. And I believe him. But it doesn't mean nothing happened, lest we forget how well he handled Lotus not paying him.

The thing that really bothers me is that Kimi got the reputation for having low motivation and not caring about what he was doing (I heard that take just last month from an F1 youtuber, how Fernando was hired in 2010 because Kimi had mentally checked out 🙄), when obviously someone who wasn’t motivated and didn’t care would have simply called it quits under these circumstances. Instead he got P3 in the standings in 2008 (I know he’s talented, but he must have been trying at least a little), trained hard to lose enough weight to use KERS in 2009 (why would he do that if he didn’t care) and took the team’s only win that year despite the car being shit. Interestingly, pundits acknowledged his good performance complicated things when it came to Ferrari’s rumoured hiring of Alonso. So imagine how much more complicated things would have been had Kimi done better in 2008?

Anyway, this is long, but if you want something longer then I definitely recommend this post here. You might not agree completely with the original authors (there are parts where I wish there was more info), but I think they offer a lot of good research and information regarding the overall situation back in 2008/2009, and it's a good jump-off point for your own research.

But yeah. 2008 could have been everything. Or at least better.

[maliciousalice]

@thresholdbb omg tumblr ate your ask but thankyou for asking!!!!

👕Character whose fashion you like.

Phoar! Startrek really isn't a show I associate with being fashionable. It's very camp isn't it? In theory a lot of the wardrobe is really cool and they wanted to gain that retro-future aesthetic. Did it work? I'm not sure. However it does make a statement. The Startrek aesthetic is really recognizable and that's important! I think that's where modern trek kind of looses the plot. It's not as careful about the unique visual design as a whole anymore and as a result it doesn't settle in our minds. Is it bad artistry? No but it's not as stringent. What I mean by that is older trek cared about nuance. For example every haircut was done the same way on men, or suits were tailored in a way to look sleek but practical (they weren't). Gaudy patterns were important to denote things like status. It looks ugly on the outside but when you're watching the show it envelops you and makes you feel welcomed into the universe.

I digress.

To answer this, the most fashionable character, hands down, is Quark! That mfer always looks good, and has the finest drip in the galaxy. Love that.

🥲 ST moment that makes you cry.

There are two moments that make me particularly sad. Kate's acting in the climax of Resistance is incredible. I read somewhere she had a special-wink-wink- relationship with the Director in the early seasons and she was being tested by this episode in some regard. I think it paid off. I treasure any time her captain-hood is removed, and the extreme vulnerability of Janeway is on display-MWAH MWAH poignant. This episode is beautifully intimate, particularly this scene. It's overall gorgeous and unique in how she whispers to him, as if there is nothing more important than to secure his peace of mind as he dies, and it's heart rending when it ends with her just crouching there, emotionally alone. I love how Janeway is forced into the father-daughter dynamic between her and Caylem, one that she would ordinarily resist (heh themes) because I think it inherently weakens her status. The back and forth throughout the episode of them taking care of each other's welfare is so it's terribly sad when it's torn down and we discover the truth behind Caylem's family. If you've dug around her character you know that her Admiral-Father has had impact on her life. She's haunted by him in both a figurative way by being a Captain, and literal sense later on in Coda. Much like Caylem, she looses her father in a violent manner that she has to carry around while she forges ahead. It also reflects well on Kate's relationship with her actual father, she recently revealed that she was never able to get him on her page, but in spite that she adore him with all her might. So a scene like this is really revealing-I believe she was able to draw upon those feelings and that's kinda neat to be so raw as an actor. SIGH.

This one just straight up made me cry fr because Prodigy s1 is a really mature, well done piece of (Startrek) media. Holo Janeway has an irony about it where in the end she is program designed to be a teacher, and she didn't expect to develop a strong bond with the crew. Her final moments are of displaying a huge amount of selflessness and courage to help the kids get out of trouble, similarly to how Janeway would approach dire circumstances. The music swelling and the ship activating is just OOOOF!!! I love how it parallels Dal's initiation of the first Protojump in a Moral Star. By that means It suggests how proud she is to get to do this for them. As a character she is really interesting to think about, in a way I can't entirely articulate. A lot of her moments are quite sad in general, she has to keep an active role so she isn't ignored, and help where help is needed, but at the same time she has constraints, one being that she manipulated by the antagonists. And In contrast to that, the kids do their best to help her feel like she is important and more than a command program to be used insincerely. She grew to love the Protostar crew, that's evident in her body language in this scene. She has a lot of depth overall. Equal to the real Janeway she deeply feels love, guilt and pain, but importantly she is transformed by the her time on the Protostar and while active, learns and grows with Dal, Rok-tak, Zero, Jankom and Gwyn. It's REALLY sweet that they care all care about each other.

I love her and I love JANEWAY!!!!

🥹 Favourite behind the scenes picture.

Ooooh I love all behind the scenes stuff. My brother in Christ It's super difficult to just name one thing and I'm very greedy!! I wish we had more BTS content for Voyager but sadly, it's a matter of grab what you can, however you can. Anyway, I have an inherent interest in seeing the cogs behind the wheel. I chose these samples because I think they're charming.

The continuity polaroid's are so fun and a lost technique, I like to think about assistants having to pull the actors aside and asking them to take those. How daunting! Kate's grin in the one where she is offset is SO cute. So she must have been in a good mood, super Cheeky!

Following that is a screenshot from a video of her having her makeup done. A rare catch. I like this because she often sooks about how much time hair and makeup was spent on her to become Captain Janeway. I get it's a huge time-sink, but love or hate it, the full irony is that her early season appearance is really iconic and in it's own right adds to Captain Janeway's sensibility. Silly goose Kate! Besides that, she looks hot checking herself out, haha.

Moreover, I love on-set editorial photos of actors in costume. While we did have heaps of them in the Starfleet uniform, I wish we had a larger collection with clearer releases, it would have given an opportunity to see in things of interest better detail. Particularly the lower half of unique costumes. For whatever reason special outfits weren't often established or framed for us to see the legs in the show, so a nice big photograph would have solved that. Also I love that these style of pictures capture an impression of an episode without giving it away.

Similarly, fly on the wall on-set photos are cool. They're way more intimate and candid than anything else and it makes me feel as though I am spying on the actors, but they're also a good way to document how things might have been on set.

The Timeless one is interesting too because it's of a deleted scene, we never see Chakotay look at a dead Janeway (how deliciously macabre!), but at some point in time it was in the script and they filmed it.

Hmm this bts picture of Janeway in the Cardigan is adorable! I believe it was worn by Kate for a Charity but look how cute she looks? Makes me wish we saw her mess around with things like that more because 7 Years is a long ass time to be in uniform everyday ( coming from someone who went to school in a Uniform and enjoyed it for the most part). Casual Fridays anyone?

I love this gif. It's from the first shoots of Caretaker and Kate looks so radiant! Her smile is is breathtaking! Whenever I see this gif I get a sense of delight. Poor thing had no idea what she was getting herself into, haha. Really though, check out the original Caretaker photos, they're super-cool. The history behind it is fascinating; I'd love to see more footage from that version of the pilot episode. Unfortunately, it's probably not preserved well, much like lots of Paramount's historical material.

On a similar trend, it's fun to see this set of pictures too. It's for the First Contact film / maybe the Universal studios ride, when she reprised her role as Vice AdmiralJaneway. Kate was genuinely delighted to do this cameo and it shows. As per her operandum she put her whole self into this small segment and that's so darling. It makes me wish we had more of this Janeway at that point in time. I love post Endgame chubby-Janeway. In a fictional sense it denotes that she is comfortable or stressed to be an Admiral (sadly it's the latter in real life) or whatever and I love that for her.

These kind of pictures are fun because it's been said that at times it was the most playful set to be on. There are tales that the cast were not that serious all the time. You get that impression here, and it's probably why the majority of them are still good friends to this day. They're like a family bros!!! Having worked in media I know that wrapping up after working on something for a long time is really rewarding and I bet they had a good time at parties.

Apropos previous, the opposite can be said. While they had fun, the hours were long and the scripts intensive. Kate was around for all of the episodes of Voyager in one way or another, and still managed to bring her A-game each time. She is truly admirable! Seeing her so exhausted is charming. She had a lot of weight to carry for the franchise and did an exemplary job performing her way through 7 years of weird and wonderful material. I wonder how often they fell asleep on set? I know I would. Get some rest queen!

Finally, I've been following Prodigy bts as best I can, and because of my career in animation I get pretty interested in Production art. I love seeing the fast metamorphosis of a visual style. It's really impressive how much attention they applied to the designs, maintaining the older stuff, while adapting a new frontier. One of the lead artists made some pretty neat observations to get Kate's appearance right. It's so cool that they documented that journey, because from my dabbling I know she has a very beautiful, distinct face that isn't easy to capture.

ANYWAY Thankyou for reading my fat thesis fellas. tl;dr i love this stinky Startrek Voyager and by extension the franchise.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[innerchorus]

Arslan Senki Chapter 132

Hoooooly fuck. I knew from the chapter title (Warriors From Beyond the Grave) that some horrific stuff was going to go down, but after spending all month worrying about Isfan and Kubard facing Shapur, the fact that they don't even appear this time didn't make this one any less traumatic, lmao.

So, the contents of the other head jars were revealed as dead warriors pop up across Ecbatana. Seems as though they are the ones Team Zahhak were able to gather the heads of (the two who were missing in action at the first Battle of Atropatene are not included; presumably their bodies were never located and were left somewhere on the battlefield).

I enjoyed how Arslan does as Tahamenay asked and tells Gieve to spread the word that Andragoras died in the fall when Innocentis flung them both from the tower... and that Gieve looks at the bloody dagger on the floor. You know that he knows, his look to Daryun and Narsus before he gives his assent just confirms it, and you also know he won't breathe a word of that truth.

(And here we have the first of the dodgy translations in this chapter, because of course there's not going to be further fighting between Parsians at this point unless you count undead Parsian warriors...)

I like that we see word spreading like a ripple through the city. Zaravant's reaction of "NO FUCKING WAY" followed by "Wait, really?" was hilarious. And as we see a lot of the citizens are thinking the same; a man of Andragoras's might, toppled like that? Zaravant had a close encounter with Andragoras; it's no surprise that his first reaction is denial.

Also lol Elam, not quite lying in his attempt to uphold the official version of events. Yes, he saw him die, but not quite in the way that was reported. So Zaravant wasn't wrong, really. Not that he'll ever know it.

Rumours spreading that Arslan killed Hilmes in a duel! It does make me wonder, might the truth of Hilmes's survival be kept quiet and this rumour allowed to flourish instead? Mirroring Hilmes surviving when all thought he had perished in the palace fire, this would allow him to eventually make a quiet exit with Irina and go and live out his life peacefully beyond the borders of Pars. (I would still like to see him rule Maryam with her, though.)

Tahamenay being left alone to watch over Andragoras's body is giving me prickling feelings of imminent Team Zahhak interference...

Dark storm clouds heading towards the city in that one panel look veeeery ominous. I still keep wondering whether we are going to see any of Team Zahhak's creatures unleashed on the world. I'm not sure exactly how dark things are going to get, but we did see winged apes when the legend of Zahhak and his earlier defeat was presented in Chapter 127. So who knows?

THE FACT THAT UNDEAD VAHRIZ SHOWS UP IN THE VERY COURTYARD WHERE HE USED TO TRAIN ARSLAN! I cannot scream about this coming full circle enough, and here it is so very wrong.

But even though it's his uncle, Daryun's typically fast warrior's response saves the day and he gets in front of Arslan to defend against Vahriz's blow (and fuck, these undead warriors are fast!).

The horror just continues to mount as more and more famous undead warriors return, but wrong, so very wrong. I am really digging the way they are presented, though.

Silent, black-eyed, still bearing the wounds they wore in death on their faces, their bodies wreathed in bandages... I'm... honestly not sure that anything below the neck is even corporeal. They look like severed heads on bodies formed from sorcery, wrapped in the same sort of magic-infused cloaks that Team Zahhak wear. Even their weapons are formed from tendrils of snakes (see Kharlan's spear forming). It makes me think that when they are defeated, their bodies may just disintegrate and only the severed head will remain. And that's... fucked up, considering they are fighting people who remember them, who fought by their side, who loved them.

More off translation when Manuchurh shows up; Kishward didn't see his head (he was in Peshawar), he only heard about it. I did wonder why Gieve was so slow on the uptake given that it was his report that confirmed Manuchurh's death to Kisward and Nasrin, but he heard about it from Parsian soldiers rather than recognising Manuchurh for himself. That's why he only infers it from how Kishward addresses him here.

I do like that we get to see Manuchurh's sword here! Sure, it's probably made of snakes, but it is at least modeled on the weapon he would have wielded in life, and that's a neat detail to have so late in the story.

As always, I badly wanted to see Team Hilmes but given what's going on my heart still started to beat faster in alarm when we cut to the room they're in. But it's Sam who leaves the room and is confronted by Garshasp! An undead version of the man whose death he envies... not sure I'm ready for this but please for the love of god let Sam kill a sorcerer before this is over.

Please know that when I scrolled down just far enough to spot Kharlan's moustache I scrolled back up so fucking fast and had to sit for a bit before I could continue.

ZANDEEEEEEH. THAT'S NOT YOUR FATHER! His face and the way he says "Father?" so questioningly breaks my heart.

Hilmes sees quickly that it's not, it can't be Kharlan, because he knows Kharlan is dead, and (unlike Zandeh, who hasn't actually witnessed any sorcery yet) he knows that this is something Team Zahhak are capable of... in fact, he knows it can only be them.

For one horrible second I really thought Zandeh was going to get stabbed right in the heart. Definitely made me realise how utterly devastated I'd be if he died in the manga version.

Thankfully the wound he receives on his shoulder doesn't look life-threatening, but you can see how unprepared he is for it, how he can't quite understand why his father (IT'S NOT YOUR FATHER!) is attacking him like this. I really don't think it would have gone well for him if Hilmes hadn't gotten involved. The way these jar warriors move.. It's fast, it's unnatural, it's deadly. These were all skilled warriors in life; are they even more dangerous now they are dead?

Hilmes protecting Zandeh like this is a brilliant moment, and never have I been so fucking glad to see Hilmes in a rage as I was to see him FINALLY display some anger towards the sorcerers who he knows are responsible. He must finally see now that they are not, and never were, on his side. Sam was right, and I hope Hilmes lets him know before this is over.

I keep thinking about the way the eyes of some of the undead seem to leak blood like tears... their faces look... empty, I guess, but this does make me wonder, is there any sort of awareness there? Do they know what their bodies are being used for? That bit of blood in Kharlan's eye at the end; is there part of him that somehow knows he's attacking his son? Perhaps it's nothing more than the remains oozing blood as they are puppeted by sorcery. The thought that there might be even a fragment of consciousness there is horrific, so I truly hope not.

So yeah, no sign of the encounter with Shapur but all of the undead jar warriors have now taken to the stage, and that stage is set for some unpleasant clashes next chapter. I hope to see some Team Zahhak deaths for sure, and I'm still banking on Team Arslan capturing a mage before this is all over. I imagine the disciples are largely seen as disposable by the Holy Master at this point, but there's no way he would allow himself to be killed or captured so easily, not when he is so close to his goal.

I am worried, though. This is... a lot... for all of Team Arslan to come through unscathed. What a horrible position for them to be in, and even if their instincts tell them that they're not fighting their comrades/relatives, they're surely at a disadvantage due to the shock and emotional turmoil involved. And I'm left wondering, what are Team Zahhak up to? What's the purpose in bringing the dead back like this? Do they wish to kill, torment, or capture other warriors as snake food? Do they simply seek to cause Ecbatana to fall into chaos? Where the heck is Zahhak?

It's going to be a difficult month until the next chapter, lol.

[donnapalude]

it seems to be a widely held opinion that claudia's attempt to be considered a sister was a sweet but unrealistic illusion. and i concur that you can't really stop being someone's daughter, insofar as the past can't be rewritten. but i don't know that i fully agree that lestat was "right" by saying you can't just change a family configuration. what he meant by it was accurate to the situation at the time, but i wouldn't say it holds universally.

translating the scene through lestat's lenses, what he meant to convey was that, by virtue of him being claudia's father-maker, it was impossible for them to renegotiate their power dynamic so that she could stop being subjected to his will. this due to a set of pragmatic considerations: i) in the context in which he was raised, there was little to no way for a child (or a wife) to obtain autonomy outside the patriarchal reach, and the situation in nola is not that different; ii) the difference in vampiric power between them; iii) his exclusive access to information and knowledge about the vampire world that would leave claudia and louis defensless without him. the factual nature of the power imbalance entails that by reworking the practical and societal conditions surrounding the family, roles can in fact change! there's still work to be done, but some years down the line from that scene a daughter will be able to stop being such! legally even! vampiric knoweldge can be gained and vampiric power also. it's still difficult to actually match your maker for both and there's the vampiric bond to account for, the role of which is not really clear yet in iwtv, but still the possibility exists. and despite the fact his words actually reflect lestat's worldview and, at the time of the scene, also the reality claudia and louis live in, lestat is also aware that some change can come. he has after all escaped his own patriarchs and abusers over time. and in fact he holds on even more tightly to those practical means of subjugation, because he knows everyone's role is predicated upon them.

apart from structural and material power, the specificity of a parent/child bond clearly contains other nuances. the main discriminators from other types of relationship are the intense responsibilities for caretaking (practical and emotional) that, ideally, should only flow one way. except this aspect also gets complicated, even in normal human relationships. once children grow and parents age, it is not uncommon for this paradigm to be inverted. and for younger children, heavy parentification over formative years eliminates the paradigm altogether. factoring vampirism in this makes the situation even more complex. as lestat is a father figure to both by virtue of being their maker, louis and claudia are in some ways also siblings under a shared authority. not at the beginning maybe, when claudia is so much younger that she would functionally be louis's child even if she was his actual sister. but that is certainly true later, as she matures and lestat is back to rule over them. on top of that, in the meantime, claudia also undergoes a more regular role-reversal, as for a time she is louis's sole caretaker while he is able to provide little but companionship to her. which is not only a change in the configuration of their daily activities. as a child your parents are not really full people: they exist only as the facet of their being that is supposed to provide for you. when you are forced to see them in their entirety, they inevitably stop being only your parents. other roles get added: friends, dependants, partners. but you can hardly go back to the before. and, as vampires have long lives, it is very easy for me to imagine the possibility of this kind of relationships going through a plethoras of iterations, until you feel little connection with the version of yourself that was once a child in someone's arms. this is not even touching potential incestual readings, because i am trying to stick to the show, which has mostly avoided them.

all of this is to say that framing claudia's proposal to be considered a sister as naive and unfounded fails in my opinion to capture the complexity of how actual families work and also the specific pain underneath this proposal. i don't think with her request claudia is simply trying to get flimsy recognition of a role that would make her feel less subjected to lestat's power (she knows she is not safe anyway). and i also don't think it's a way to justify exculpating louis to herself (she is already doing that by recognising his position as a victim of domestic abuse). although i do feel that with regard to louis specifically she at least sees a possibility to be a true sister due their solidal position as fledglings/children of lestat, while she would prefer being nothing to lestat and escaping him, i think what she is generally asking while she is stuck at home is simply for lestat and louis to recognise formally that their respective roles to each other have already changed substantially. lestat believes patriarchal power begets responsibilities over the family (protection from external harm, economic support etc.) and this regardless of the debate on how well he performs them and how hypocritical the system becomes when it doesn't include protection from the patriarch himself. and to an extent louis agrees (he also felt the same responsibility towards his family, although his patriarchal role was ill-fitting). but claudia is asking them to consider that actually the paradigm should be inverted and it is responsibility that should beget power. parents should have power over children only insofar as they have a duty to take care of them when they are unable to provide for themselves. even discounting claudia's age (as her mental age increasing while physically she remains a young girl complicates matters with respect to how much she needs louis and lestat to navigate the world) the fact remains that, by failing to give her care and protection, by withdrawing the support she was owed and leaving her to fend for herself, by actively harming her, they have renegated that responsibility and the power that comes with it. by making her take care of louis and then making her responsible for mainting the happiness of their marriage they have even shifted that responsibility to her. in other words, they have functionally treated her as an adult when it suited them, while still wanting to treat her as a child when they needed her to come to heel. this is why i don't believe her request to be neither delusional nor absurd. it may be naive in the sense that she is placing too much trust in two men that fundamentally do hold patriarchal values (although louis makes a good attempt at battling his). and of course she can never erase the fact that she was their daughter originally: even if betrayed, you never really lose the expectation of receiving that unconditional love that asks for nothing. if she was only sister, she would not feel the pain of disappointment. but saying it was inevitable and appropriate that they could only ever see her as a daughter removes a lot of culpability from them and frames her story as something that it is not. it implies that she was really only a child, that louis and lestat were correct in recognizing that and that the tragedy of her life stems from her inability to accept the impossibility of growing up.

i simply disagree. i think iwtv makes a clear case to say that claudia does reach emotional (if not physical) maturity and that she has all the abilities and responsibilities of an adult. so when lestat and louis don't recognize that, they are not right. or at least not fully. there can be sweetness in a parent's residual instinct for protection that does not translate to stifling. but in this case, they are also projecting their own desire for control (lestat) and guilt over failed father/motherhood (louis) on claudia and fitting her into the role that best serves the fulfillment of their needs. which could lead to the conclusion that her tragedy hinges on simply being an adult that is constantly infantilised. but i think it's a bit more complicated than that. in claudia's story childhood is not simply a cage to escape, its role is much more ambivalent. after her turning, claudia's world is still a place of magic and wonders. she has a colorful inner life, a joyously curious mind and a clear creative streak. she revels in the blood and the hunt and she is vicious only as a child can: there's no calculation to it, it just feels good! it's fun! she also has a measure of hope and faith in lestat and louis, and it's not perfect, but overall i think she feels protected and safe. killing charlie, seeing him burn, lestat's abuse, her sexual assault, all mark a violent end to this life in a way that irrevocably closes the door on it. she can never return to that girl that hides in her fantasies, she must face reality now. but the separation is not painless. a longing for it remains, in her search for the uncomplicated love of a new family and her desire to lose herself in plays and characters, to dream again for a little bit. however, a rejection is also there. that little girl was naive and knew nothing and bad things happened to her because of it. she must be strong and sharp now and never again be lulled in a sense of safety. what she is escaping here, is not the entire concept of childhood, but the powerlessness of it, which comes partly from the defenselessness of an innocent mind, and which her physical form and people's infantilisation keep pressing on her. claudia is not just a child wanting to be an adult or an adult treated like a child. her mind and body being at odds reflect the fact that she is somehow stuck between childhood and adulthood, subjected to the worst aspects of both according to the whims of others. what is tragic about her story does not relate to an unavoidable fracture in her psyche. it has everything to do with the very avoidable treatment she receives from people around her. and it is as much rooted in the fact that she was forcibly evicted from the ideal safety of her status as a child as in the fact she was forced to continously relive the lack of control in it. in other words, in the breaking of the illusion that children being brought to life and being subjected to parental power is always for their benefit.

the sister-daughter conundrum ultimately leads back to this. claudia's request to anoint her of her new role represents a desire to be at least spared of the hope of being treated like a daughter/child and move on by acknowledging the bitter truth that she is a sister/adult. however, the fact she needs to ask is very telling as is the fact she reverts to hope as soon as a new family is in sight. and i am sorry to always come back to her death by i find it difficult not to think about this circularly. her last glance at lestat also holds this contradiction to me. to say it's just condemnation or just yearning does not cut it. it must be both. it's a prayer already anticipating disappointment. it's a challenge to face her pain, belying the desire to have it recognised. it's a last request to be both loved as a child and respected as a woman. in my reading of her, i try to grant this request.

[treasureplcnet]

you think i can't keep talking about karl and esther you are so wrong btw episode four timestamp 34:40 he hesitates before rubbing her back, comforting her the way a parent or guardian might. the whole tube scene is karl finally deciding he has to do this ("i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere, i promise") he still HESITATES because he knows he's probably not the right man for the job. he's the man that got her stuck in this problem in the first place. but they've only got each other and he has to try. does it hurt that the moment he finally builds this resolve and determination to leave it all behind and to actually fight for something that matters to him and admit that, even though he hasn't known her for long, he cares about this girl like she's family, esther is murdered and it totally consumes him? does it hurt that he's then framed for her death even though he just spent the last 24 hours killing and taking revenge in her name? not only because he knows he's a dead man, but also because he's out of options to do something that matters, and what else can he do with his grief other than inflict it onto others? yeah it hurts a lot actually