#that was like the main problem ive had reading it so far

[southern--downpour]

pros of new hyperfixation: dopamine :) 

cons of new hyperfixation: i cannot focus on school work all i want to do is read trigun nothing else is interesting rn

[a-person-whos-alive]

Why TotK fails Zelda

Heads up, this is a long post. Ive cut this down like a motherfucker but it still reads very long. My thoughts are divided into four main categories;

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

3. Her relationship with Link

4. Her relationship with the player

Also, these are my opinions, I'm certain there are people with far better analysis skills than me! I am just in love with this franchise and a little disappointed with the recent game. Zelda as a character holds a special place in my heart and its sad that her character was done dirty like this.

Theres a TLDR at the end and before I forget, SPOILERS!!!

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

Zelda is not someone who magic came easily to, and I think BotW & AoC did a great job exploring that. They contrasted her natural interest with the sheikah technology and her lack of power and it was 😘👌

How did TotK do? With the Zonai tech being the main selling point, how would Zelda, a scholar at heart, interact with it? To my memory, the only interaction she has is to put Mineru's soul into a piece of Sheikah tech and hand it to a construct.

Well what about magic? Finding out she has light AND time powers was at first a great throwback to OoT with the Sage of Time. The fact that her Time magic awakened immediately unlike the Light magic in the last game was a nice contrast. But then, she immediately has a similar dilemma, she can't USE her magic to propel herself forward because she doesnt know how. Unlike BotW though, she has the "mother" she was lacking to teach her. This was a decent set-up. It was different enough to be its own thing but still was familiar enough. This is up to memory 4 - Mineru's Council

The issue the NEXT MEMORY, memory 5 - Gerudo Assualt shows her being even more proficient than Sonia. We don't see her train, or struggle, or even ask a question about how the stone works. She just does. It's not until memory 8 do we see her get any guidance about her powers? And even then we don't see her attempt recall at all. In the next memory she simply uses it perfectly and effortlessly.

The purpose of her strengthening Time Magic was to get back home. Yet, she gets back home by swallowing a sacred stone, that she already had the ability to do at any point. She turns into the LIGHT dragon, using her LIGHT magic to strengthen the Master Sword. Her whole arc about her magic was pointless because in the end she used the powers from the previous game for everything important.

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

Positives first! Its clear that Zelda loves her people, and during the 7? year gap she obviously took the time to connect with them and problem solve. Penn's quest really demonstrates this, and so does the Hateno school quest. (Even if the children don't believe in the Calamity). I found it very endearing that the people had such faith in her, that even with Ganondorf causing havoc with her face, people refused to believe it. The Great Fairies MUST have seen wrong because it was dark, Dorephan MUST have been mistaken, the Stable Trotters MUST have seen someone else - Zelda wouldn't do that.

I additionally liked that Zelda wasn't immediately trying to set up a monarchy again. In fact, she seemed to be doing the opposite. She wasn't living in Central Hyrule, at Looking Landing, she was living in Hateno. She was a teacher, and on some level a researcher (even if the Don Dons were scrapped ideas from the first trailer).

But the second she goes to the past, she is put back in her box. Her interests in tech are non-existant, she does not interact with anyone who isn't royalty, the King doesn't listen to her about Ganondorf and tells her to not to worry - after all she's just supposed to wear that white dress and hope her magic works soon. She's regressed back to before the Calamity, waiting for something terrible she knows is coming and is powerless to stop.

Crucially, she doesn't speak to Ganondorf once.

This is by far the most egregious waste of their characters in my opinion, and I've just deleted a 3 paragraph Ganondorf discussion - another time. But come on! This is legitimately the PERFECT scenario for Zelda to find about about WHY people opposed her royal family, WHY everyone she's ever loved died in Calamity caused by this guy, WHY she's had to go through all this. But no, if they did talk, it wasn't on screen.

Ive seen in translations of parts of one of the interviews with a developer saying she was able to see what a ruler should be like by going to the past, but until a see an official source I'm going to hope that's not true

3. Her relationship with Link

"Link is still entrusted with the role of protecting Princess Zelda." - Hidemaro Fujibayashi https://www.npr.org/2023/09/13/1199307678/zelda-tears-of-the-kingdom-dlc-video-game. Maybe I'll write a post about Link sometime, but I'm focusing on just him and Zelda.

Whether you ship the two or not, the pair would obviously have a unique bond from both fighting the Calamity and losing the Champions/everyone. So, how did the pair cope with the destruction of everything the love? How did Zelda come to terms with the ruins of Castle Town, the harsh reality of all those who were dead? Zelda doesn't have Link's amnesia to temporarily soften the inital blow.

TotK explores none of this.

Similarly, there is a level of formality on how Zelda speaks of Link. When she tells Rauru of Link she starts, "He is a royal knight. He had been originally appointed for my protection, but later he became a hero by saving both me and Hyrule from a great evil". Not "he and I became close" or even "he became my friend". Zelda is talking to the two people closest to her right now,

All their interactions are the bare minimum.

Link has ALWAYS been a self insert for the player, but he's still a character, and more recently Nintendo has been acting like having emotions means a player can't project onto them. Zelda is Link's closest person, and when she returns he is piece of cardboard, at least help her up!

4. Her relationship with the player

First, as everyone who played BotW will know, many things were removed or changed in TotK to allow it to be standalone for new players. Sheikah tech was removed, important characters forgot Link, the majority of the last game was rarely if ever mentioned. Kass

However TotK does not properly establish Link and Zelda for new fans AND doesnt not elaborate for old fans. They interact twice until the end - the intro and memory 1. All of her characterisation is in that little history moment, the rest of it is 50% sacred power lore and 50% time power lore. Additionlly, anyone who is new to the game has no context for her light powers.

Actually, TotK literally retcons her light magic to be from Rauru and not Hylia. Which was the WHOLE POINT of BotW so great sequelling there guys.

TLDR: The Conclusion

Wow, you made it this far. Or you skipped to end, I would too. My main gripes with Zelda:

> She doesn't interact with Zonai Tech.

> Her arc is about learning time power to go home, only for her to not use said magic and instead use the light magic from the last game to fix the sword and be a light dragon.

> Having her worries about Ganondorf shot down by the King and not holding her ground/ insisting (did you learn nothing from Rhoam??)

> never interacting with Ganondorf him being in Hyrule as a diplomat

> nintendos approach to her and link, they dont once touch while both conscious. Not even a handshake or pat on the shoulder. See images above with prev. Zelda and Link.

> the instance on making it not complicated for accessibility to new players, but also not fleshing it out enough to be compelling on its own.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Okay, second post, this ones mostly about Feyre because honestly, as of chapter 3 I havent really noticed Tamlin being out of character and from what Ive heard his character assassination was supposed to happen very quickly. Idk, right now he just seems like the same guy but traumatized although I'll fully admit that I didnt care that much for him outside of the Feylin romance (which was pretty sweet but too boring for me) so maybe I just didnt pay enough attention to him to fully grasp his character

Feyre is frustrating to me right now because I dont think shes out of character either, right now shes also just the same woman but traumatized, but like, I already know the extent to which her character will be bent for the sake of Rhysand. In these first three chapters she literally thinks something along the lines of "What's there for me to do but sit at home and spend Tamlin's money" Tell me, what does she end up doing in the night court huh????

Another thing thats frustrating is that Feyre clearly has issues communicating her feelings and wants, I know because I also had issues with that, and instead of learning that very valuable skill of telling others about your inner world and trying to work on her relationships (with both Tamlin and with her sisters), shes just gonna end up with a guy who can read her mind so theres no need for her to challenge herself and grow in any way. Yay. One thing especially stuck out to me in this regard was her attituide towards wearing dresses. Feyre does not like wearing dresses, its not like she never got to wear them back at home even though she wanted to, she just doesnt like wearing them in her day-to-day life, but she feels like she has to because she thinks its what Tamlin wants and because she thinks that if she wears pants its gonna somehow signal to the citizens of the spring court that something is incredibly wrong. But again, she doesnt tell anyone this, she doesnt ask Tamlin if he can just explain to everyone that everything is fine and that Feyre just has an unconventional way of dressing, which he would probably be fine with if its still the same guy from the first book. And it doesnt even seem like Tamlin directly made any kind of comment to her about the dresses she wears, she just saw that he was happy when he saw her wear them, which couldve well been him being happy to see her in general but she doesnt even consider that

Theres also the fact that its very unclear what she wants/what her problem is. Now, this actually isnt something that bothers me that much on its own, Feyre is traumatized and lost, obviously she doesnt know exactly what she wants at this point beyond "the situation Im in sucks and makes me feels bad, I want to get out", I think what bothers me is mostly the knowledge that Tamlin is gonna get blamed for a lot of this stuff when its really not his fault.

And I do want to make it clear that I dont think hes doing a great job handling this situation, I know a lot of people in the acotar critical sphere find his actions understandable and justifiable from his perspective and thats true, but hes still doing a bad job handling Feyre's emotional state. Like, one of your beloved's main issues is that she feels horrible because she feels trapped at home, for the love of god just let her go outside on her own. Maybe send her to village thats far inland or close to the border to the mortal realm, surely those monsters are not gonna manage to come that far if youre all going on patrols to kill them as soon as possible. And even if they do, the people of any village are gonna bend over backwards in order to protect their capital c Cursebreaker, shes gonna be fine

But, to get back to my original point, even if Tamlin was a daemati or whatever like Rhys and could read her mind the way she needs it to be read, he would still not be able to figure out what exactly Feyre needs right now because she doesnt know it herself! I literally read all of her thoughts and I dont know! Does she want to help others and be responsible for a whole bunch of people because its what shes always known to do? Does she want to avoid resonsibility for now because she wants to recover from her traumatic childhood of having the responsibility of keeping her family alive on top of all the new UTM-trauma? Its hard to say and that makes sense for Feyre at this point in her life, but she cant just blame people for not understanding her when she doesnt properly understand herself and refuses tl verbalize her feelings

Anyway, thats it for today, hope you enjoyed this

[worflesbian]

RIGHT i've watched the first six episodes of enterprise (five if the two-part pilot only counts as one) and i have things to say. take all of them with a pinch of salt bc ive only just started it but i have a sneaking sense that it will continue in much the same fashion.

first of all the backswing from ds9 + voyager's first black captain and first female captain is TANGIBLE. to quote eleanour "girlboss" guthrie-blacksails so many goddamn (white) men here!!! too many goddamn (white) men here!!! not only are they white men, archer and trip specifically are Cowboys in the most "we clearly want to write a classic western" sense. if i closed my eyes and listened to a scene with just the two of them i wouldn't be able to distinguish it from firefly, a show where they purposefully put on cowboy voices because apparently space westerns were all the rage in 2001-2002.

t'pol is really the only woman i would call a main rather than supporting character and her role thus far seems to be emulating the nagging sitcom wife, in that she naysays everything, gets utterly disregarded, is proven right by the end of the episode, and then is immediately disregarded again next episode. i find the idea of vulcans intentionally curtailing human progress into space and humans rebelling against that really interesting, but i hate the way the casting and direction turns space travel into this gung-ho boys will be boys situation because even though t'pol is right, she's being Framed as a killjoy in such a gendered way.

back to the western thing - i watched a Lot of 50s' and 60s' westerns as a child and out of the five episodes of enterprise i've seen so far, three have used tropes or stock situations directly from westerns with the worst offender being s1e6 terra nova. i was fucking gobsmacked by that episode like it was BLATANT. the fact that most of their outdoor scenes are probably filmed in california which is where a lot of westerns are filmed by pure hollywood convenience probably doesn't help, but it's really evident in the writing as well. i remember reading that the original series wanted to take the western frontier into space and make a "wagon train to the stars" and it feels like enterprise decided to go all the way back to that concept and do it far, far less subtly.

of course the problem with this is that rather than engage with the politics of that genre and how they've influenced the formation of star trek (is the federation an imperialist entity? is starfleet a colonialist military? etc) it feels so far that enterprise is just having a great time playing uncritical cowboys and aliens, completely erasing indigenous people from the narrative of westward expansion or replacing them with the non-human which. fucking sucks!!

the fact that t'pol is constantly getting racially harassed and abused as the only vulcan aboard, the fact that hoshi is inexperienced with combat and space travel so its always the men doing the action scenes, the fact that travis is the youngest and least ranking officer on the bridge and the fact that enterprise was "rick berman's baby" are all adding up to a conscious agenda of putting white men at the forefront of trek again.

if i'm wrong about any of this i would love to hear from people who've watched further than me! i dont mind about spoilers i've already had loads

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[eirian]

hey so. i may be making a really big decision regarding mirrors. and in the end im not taking anyone's opinions into account because it is my story and my characters and i can literally do whatever i want b/c im not getting paid for it.

but like what if i changed all the characters into women LOL

im ngl if i hadnt already come so far in mirrors i would be more matter-of-fact about changing the main characters' genders. i seriously think that if i had started mirrors at the point im at right now, the whole cast would be women instead. at the time i created these ocs i was heavily projecting transmascness/masculinity onto my ocs and thats why theyre all guys. but now im like. damn i wish they were all women actually. nothing changes about their character or personality its just that theyre now women. thats it. because im realizing there is an EXTREME SURPLUS of not just male dragon ball ocs but male characters in media in general? and ive LITERALLY been part of the problem despite always being like "oh i wish there were more women characters :( i wish i could make more women :(" like im realizing i can just Do That. if i want my ocs to be women now i can just Make Them Women. i have that power as the owner of these characters

so im thinkin like. idk man. i could honestly just make a page or even a little panel that says "hey just a heads up theyre all women now" and then from then on i draw them as women LMFAO like i dont even give a fuck anymore

in regards to the ethics of me "genderbending" my ocs which is what this seems like (although i think genderbending is in the realm of an au, whereas this would be Canon Changes. but still), ive decided i dont give a shit anymore <3 i am trans myself and ive stopped really seeing genderbends as inherently problematic and offensive. yeah theres ways and reasons for genderbending that people do that i definitely dont like (namely the "genderbending to sexualize" and "genderbending to make the pairing straight" things) but i think genderbending as a whole is like...fine i guess. like i dont care man

again, in the end this is a decision for Me and what i want for myself and my ocs and story. literally nothing will change except the gender of the characters lol (which WILL include some physical features such as calabris not having a goatee anymore and now a lot of them have bigger boobs i guess). but honestly if u dont like it then feel free to read another comic i guess idk. i'll be disappointed but ur free to do what u want

long post over <3

[endcant]

a big reason why i personally respond very strongly and publicly about internet censorship bills is because every tool and support ive ever had to understand my trauma, cope with my mental health issues, historically contextualize my experiences, and become a somewhat functional adult, were all found online. the friends who support me found me online. my ability to do my art business & be my authentic self in the same place at the same time is thanks to the expressive powers of the internet. almost nothing good in my life would have been possible if there was legislation like KOSA enacted when i was a child. which is why i have been openly speaking out against legislation like this ever since i was a child.

one example of the problem here is that the heritage foundation intends to use KOSA as a way to sue websites into censoring information about LGBT+ issues and sex/reproductive health. they said it publicly, and i have no reason to think they’re bluffing. the heritage foundation is also the main party behind Project 2025 (an authoritarian agenda for the U.S. political right published and free to read online). they should be taken seriously because they have proudly played a massive role in deciding what Republican public policy be will be since the Reagan administration. if you are politically active online at all and don’t know whether your most dearly held causes are under threat by this group, type “the heritage foundation’s stance on” into your favorite search engine, take a look at the recommended searches, and get ready to have a very bad time. (…unless you’re one of those rare far-right political users on this site, in which case you’d probably have a pretty good time)

this is happening alongside the recent growth of the “parental rights” movement, whose achievements include promoting book bans, trying to suppress any information they deem to be “Critical Race Theory”, as well as harassing and threatening people for supporting LGBT+ kids. they aim to silence any voices that don’t fall in line with their agenda. moms for liberty is a prominent example of a harmful “parental rights” activist group; they have repeatedly done things like this. i have no doubt that these groups would absolutely utilize KOSA to further prevent children from accessing important educational information.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn, the one of the two legislators who has spearheaded the push to pass this bill through the Senate, is a self identified “hard-core” “politically incorrect” conservative who came into the Senate during the Trump administration. She is also part of the larger Tennesseean right-wing political apparatus that has brought this state wonders like cities where public homosexuality is illegal, and a county where the juvenile detention rate approaches 50%. these people do not care about the wellbeing of children. they are doing awful things here that the majority of tennesseans do not support. there are many other recent, infamous examples of similar state and local human rights failures throughout the US. if you let them have their way, these post-Trump Republicans will do their best to bring this kind of nonsensical, authoritarian governance to the entire country and potentially the rest of the world, given the role that U.S. law plays in the reality of the international internet.

i have been mostly sharing others’ posts and contacting legislators on my own time, but on December 6th, a letter was published in support of KOSA that was signed by 200 organizations— largely mental health and childrens’ health related groups. i believe that far-right political groups will use KOSA to silence the kind of online information that helped me with my own mental health when i was a kid, and that kids are currently relying on today. ultimately, i think it is a shame that these 200 organizations think they can get away with publicly supporting a bill that is so widely criticized and politically fraught.

[vigilantempathy]

Why Crowley can’t go back to Heaven and can’t be restored as an angel…

…using Satan’s soliloquy from Book IV of Paradise Lost by John Milton.

Because I have a deep-below-lower-deep unholy decade-long obsession with Paradise Lost and Good Omens S2 has prompted a re-read.

(Quoted from the UPenn online version, linked below.)

Broad Context: In Paradise Lost, Satan fell because he “trusted to have equaled the most High”—he pushed for equality with God, challenged the idea of Omnipotence, and led war against Heaven trying to prove that God was not supremely powerful and if he and his forces could achieve victory, that they deserved power, too. But they lost, Lucifer fell and became Satan, and everyone who fought with him was cast Down as well. He wasn’t claiming to be above God, but challenging God’s supremacy was an act of hubris. There are TONS of themes, language, and visuals from classical/Hellenic myth and epic poetry and Satan reads largely as the hero of a Greek tragic epic. He follows Aristotle’s Poetics ideas of peripety and discovery: he massively fucks up his own life, leading to his own tragic downfall, and only realizes too late that all his ruinous problems are his own damn fault (pun intended). People have debated since publication the degree to which Milton knowingly or unknowingly had sympathy for the devil (cue Rolling Stones) but tend to agree that Satan isn’t a typical obvious bad guy villain.

Kind of like how Good Omens’ Heaven/Hell dichotomy isn’t really about Good/Evil and its main characters are a demon who is a bit of a nice person and an angel who is enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

Scene Context: Post-Fall, Satan struggles with the understanding that he fucked up his own life, that he fucked up the lives of everyone loyal to him because they were all punished for that loyalty, that he deeply regrets his choices knowing now how they worked out and wishes he’d never Fallen, but that he can never go back to Heaven or to being “some inferior angel” knowing what he knows now.

SCENE SETTING (Lines 17-31)

And like a devilish engine back recoils

Upon himself; horrour and doubt distract

His troubled thoughts, and from the bottom stir

The Hell within him; for within him Hell

He brings, and round about him, nor from Hell

One step, no more than from himself, can fly

By change of place: Now conscience wakes despair,

That slumbered; wakes the bitter memory

Of what he was, what is, and what must be

Worse; of worse deeds worse sufferings must ensue.

Sometimes towards Eden, which now in his view

Lay pleasant, his grieved look he fixes sad;

Sometimes towards Heaven, and the full-blazing sun,

Which now sat high in his meridian tower:

Then, much revolving, thus in sighs began.

SATAN’S SOLILOQUY (Lines 93-113)

“But say I could repent, and could obtain,

By act of grace, my former state; how soon

Would highth recall high thoughts, how soon unsay

What feigned submission swore? Ease would recant

Vows made in pain, as violent and void.

For never can true reconcilement grow,

Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep:

Which would but lead me to a worse relapse

And heavier fall: so should I purchase dear

Short intermission bought with double smart.

This knows my Punisher; therefore as far

From granting he, as I from begging, peace;

All hope excluded thus, behold, in stead

Of us out-cast, exil'd, his new delight,

Mankind created, and for him this world.

So farewell, hope; and with hope farewell, fear;

Farewell, remorse! all good to me is lost;

Evil, be thou my good; by thee at least

Divided empire with Heaven's King I hold,

By thee, and more than half perhaps will reign;

As Man ere long, and this new world, shall know.”

Good Omens Read:

For many of the same reasons as Satan in Paradise Lost, Crowley can’t return to Heaven. He can’t trust it anymore. He knows what it did to him and others like him. He can no longer abide the lie that Heaven is the side of the ang— the side of the good guys. Good guys don’t do the things that God and Heaven have done. Heaven and Hell take similar, parallel actions throughout Good Omens but at least Hell doesn’t pretend to be righteous about their destructive, cruel, unjust actions. Hell is awful but at least it knows that. Better the devil you know, if the alternative is the angel who is fundamentally dishonest.

If Crowley returns to Heaven, he’ll saunter back downwards immediately and there will be nothing vague about it the second time. He doesn’t trust it, he can never trust it again, and he has 6000 years of anger towards Heaven for his own Fall, which are 6000 years of viewing Heaven as the enemy, even if only as lipservice to maintain professional courtesy.

But now he’s been cast into a deep personal hell, (“a lower deep;” the internal turmoil that makes a shitty external situation orders of magnitude worse) because now Heaven has taken Aziraphale from Crowley.

And Heaven can hurt him. They’ve tried to destroy Aziraphale before. They tried to destroy Gabriel by destroying everything that made him Gabriel. They’ve been threatening “extreme sanctions” and removal from The Book of Life and Crowley only recently learned that was a real possibility and not a made-up horror story.

Crowley hadn’t trusted Heaven in 6000 years, but Heaven hurting him and Heaven hurting Aziraphale are incomparable metrics to Crowley.

Contrast Crowley’s typically cool responses to being personally threatened with his incinerating rage at anyone threatening Aziraphale.

Crowley responds to threats to his own personal safety and well-being (Hastur, Ligur, and Shax all threaten Crowley himself and Crowley responds with one-liners, sarcasm, cinematic threats that makes a cheap plant mister sound like a ‘44 magnum, and, you know, holy water) without breaking a sweat. But threaten Aziraphale and there isn’t a one-liner to be found. He can’t pretend to be unaffected when Aziraphale is in trouble. He sputters. He trails off. He shouts. He snarls.

Noting also that when Crowley forgets to act cool is a good indicator that something has deeply rattled him. Ex. Soaking wet, ash-streaked, screaming, sobbing, knocked on the ground, grief-wrecked Crowley in the bookshop fire. So when Crowley doesn’t have a quip ready, he’s actually scared. In the moments that matter, Crowley is as cool as crocs with mismatched socks.)

Crowley hasn’t trusted Heaven I’m 6000 years because of what it did to him. He could never have gone back.

But now Heaven has taken Aziraphale and can hurt him. So now Heaven, through the Metatron, offers Crowley the possibility of return.

The Metatron knows as well as Crowley does that Crowley can never go back. The Metatron knows it as well as God knows the same to be true of Satan in Paradise Lost:

“For never can true reconcilement grow,

Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep:

Which would but lead me to a worse relapse

And heavier fall: (…)

This knows my Punisher; therefore as far

From granting he, as I from begging, peace.”

There was never an honest offer to restore Crowley to Heaven. He could never have trusted Heaven, even if he’d returned, and he’d have Fallen again immediately. That’s why the Metatron offered. Because Aziraphale still wants to trust Heaven and Crowley never can again. Because the Metatron knew Crowley would say no. And the Metatron knew that even if Crowley accepted to stay with Aziraphale or to protect him, Crowley would be cast back Down in short order anyway. (“Does anyone ever ask for death?” The Metatron asks Nina.)

Would Crowley have chosen not to Fall, knowing what he knows now? Probably. But he did. He can’t go back. Neither could Satan.

Satan’s soliloquy after the Fall, or Crowley’s pining melancholy drunk divorce rant after Season 2:

“So farewell, hope… all good to me is lost.”

[spacedlexi]

Hi Lexi :)

What is your opinion on other TWD media? - mainly the comics and the TV series? If so, do you have any favorite characters from them or is there anything in particular you like about um? Or do you like the telltale game only?

i have not read the comics mostly due to lack of time. and ive heard conflicting things about them so i havent gone out of my way to read them

but i HAVE watched.. most of the show. had problems with it but it did get me to cry a few times. the beth and daryl stuff comes to mind. carol and daryl too. and i didnt even like daryl at the time 💀 also the early stuff with rick and morgan. i do love michonne tho :) i liked her and andrea. and her and carl becoming friends was sweet. and i liked how it came before her relationship with rick. her relationship with rick was boring tho 😔. like. it wasnt bad theyre cute but like.. i was expecting it to have more prominence i guess. i watched it last summer so my memories of the earlier stuff that was actually interesting is hazy

i pretty much binged it until season 7............... negan killed the show for me i hated him so much. such a carver but with the attitude of a 14yo boy on xbox live. insufferable. it then became a slog and i gave up like halfway through season 10. and i only made it that far because i wanted to know wtf was up with the whisperers. actually the first episode of S10 with the introduction of them was like... The Best episode i had seen from the show since before i lost interest in it. but then it immediately went back to shit. because every character was forced to relive the same arc over and over again like they were trapped in a fucking time loop. and apparently thats STILL HAPPENING????? saw an ad the other day for a new rick and michonne thing. please put this show out of its misery

i at the time wrote some draft posts about my opinions but i deleted all of them except for one it seems. carls death was my breaking point and i didnt even love his character or anything

i Have heard that in the comic its rick who dies instead of carl which like.. the comic gets points for that at least

watching the show retroactively raised my opinion of seasons 2 and 3 of the telltale games and i had a really good laugh about it at the time. but its true. even when i Was interested in the show it was like.. by a Thread. but it Did have good moments that i just kept hoping would come back. instead we got negan

do you ever think about how before the outbreak rick was a cop and lee was going to prison. an interesting difference. especially when it comes to the mindset of a main character. i much preferred lee

[sheep-from-rad]

Hi ive been reading most if not all of your sagau fics and i am just-- omg theyre all sO GOOD

I do have a thought that popped up in my head and i havent seen like, literally anywhere--what would happen if god/creator/whatever they are!reader plays co-op?

Just like--them hanging out with their pals on genshin and fucking around by all being childes and going to fight childe or something AHAHA

Or like--the shenanigans that the co-op people would do and what the characters would think!!

Co-op is such a great concept for sagau and id love to see your take on it!! :DD

I love your stuff by the way, theyre all amazing!! I hope you have a great day!!!!!

SAGAU: Co-op Shenanigans Note: I had fun writing this. Genshin is still installing on my laptop and I can't play. I already miss doing a long walk from Liyue harbour to Qingce Village just to get bamboo shoots and resources on the way. As per usual requests are open 24/7. Warnings: OOC ps. I have no clue what I was thinking while writing this. This is based on the people that I have encountered so far. 

So SAGAU x Co-op huh? slaps game BOY I CAN FIT SO MANY INCOHERENT IDEAS IN THIS

You know the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to co-op and it is not the shock SAGAU characters might experience in co-op you know why? Because to live in Tevyat is to expect the unexpected and the things that are out of logic. There's a man pretending to be an adepti, exorcizing spirit and now the spirits are disturbed and want to hurt people? Just another thursday. A dragon visiting the grassy plains before flying again somewhere? He doesn't bite, just don't disturb him. Twins from another world suddenly end up in Teyvat with one being missing and the other solving people's problems and then people selected are suddenly becoming self-aware that they are being controlled by a person called player who lives in another dimension and now people are entering Teyvat with copies of themselves? Huh, that's a lot to take in. 

Character reactions to 'them' that came from co-op varies but most of them goes 'oh my god, is this who we are? Is this what we represent?' 

Childe originally just wanted to observe the other Childe that enters the world but all of the observation was compressed when he saw three Childes entering trying to find Zhongli and flirting with the player. The mains are so out of control and literally asked the player to enter the golden house to fight him. He admits that it was fun and it was really funny watching the other Childes get confused on who's the enemy in the first phase. 

Zhongli is just confused about the other Zhonglis that enter the game. He mentally praises them for being good protectors to other players but he can’t understand why they always look lost and if not lost, distracted. He followed the player once in secret while co-op was happening and there he found a Childe circling a Zhongli and the Zhongli in question suddenly just went around for no reason. 

Beidou found the others amusing. Mommy Beidou? Really?  The uncrowned lord of the seas didn’t know people were thirsty over her. If their co-op versions are self-aware, maybe she’ll treat them for a drink. 

Hu Tao finds it hilarious. Four Hu Tao fighting mobs in low health is fun but three Hu Tao chasing one Qiqi is funner. Too bad it’s not the self-aware Qiqi. The self-aware zombie child on the other hand escaped town and hid in Qingce for a while. 

Albedo finds Albedo mains a little funny. They are either ‘wholesome’ as what the player said or a plain menace. Since he’s not entirely sure if the Teyvat where the co-op version of them came from is self-aware, his brain just kept on thinking what if in the other world there’s a version of his prototype as well? WHAT IF THE CO-OP WORLD IS MADE BY GOLD AND WHAT IF THEIR CO-OP SELVES ARE JUST CHALK LIKE HIM? 

Ps. he spent months in the lab because of that and it took Paimon’s nagging for him to come out. 

While it was all fun and games to others (unless you’re Diluc or Childe who are studying his co-op self and seeing how they can improve) to the traveller it was an attack on nostalgia and longing. They weren't self-aware when the game just started and seeing their sibling being the main in the co-op made them realise that them being separated was not  by accident but fate. 

It is fate that one of them will be helping the abyss and one of them is helping Teyvat and they can’t do anything about it. It was a stab in the chest and the wound never healed. They can’t have their sibling on their side because as far as they know their journey isn’t over yet. Co-op is a chaotic experience but they are glad it can provide a little happiness by seeing their estranged sibling. 

Taglists: @chihawari @eccedentesiast-sapphic @zurithegalaxywolf

[drunklollipop]

Another autistic person morbidly fascinated by Leasebound here.

I really don't like how it's full of caricatures and strawmen. And the way Rusty Hearts and the fans gleefully imagine violence against trans people makes me queasy, especially as I have known trans and non-binary people IRL.

But for some reason, I can't look away. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion. I feel like I have to know what happens so I can better understand the anti-trans views that exist and can think about what my arguments against them would be. I see it as a philosophical workout for my brain, in a way. "Here's an obvious strawman; how would you counter it?"

Oh, and I got autistic vibes from Blaire too. I saw her as having a special interest in trans rights. And her attitude of, "Let's talk about our issues!" in Chapter 9 read like an autistic person who loves deep conversations and was trying to be helpful without realising that other people might not be up for that deep dive. It sucks that she became more obviously villainous in Chapter 11.

I even mentioned my Autistic Blaire headcanon to Rusty Hearts when she still had Tumblr. (I didn't at the time, so I asked anonymously.) As I recall, she just said, "Hmmm, that's interesting!" and never mentioned it again.

HIIII WELCOME TO THE CLUB. i should honestly make a discord server for autistic people who cant stop reading lb or just for lb hatereaders in general.

YEAH the portrayal of trans people in leasebound is both disgusting and fascinating from a philosophical standpoint. its so ideologically incoherent you just want to keep reading to maybe see just what the authors problem is tho so far it seems like spicy conservatism. its so funny to look at a comic that prides itself on its social commentary but at the same time is completely disinterested in challenging its own views.

i think my main problem with gc radfems in general is that they love having pseudointellectual discussions yet only seem to confront either strawmen or some random 15 year old on twitter with 5 followers. ive never seen them try to refute stronger points and when presented with the opportunity they just go "uhhhh... homophobe/misogynist.... commit 41%!" and leasebound is just 11 chapters of that: the comic.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/28/2023

goodbye february!

listening

night beats by hex. @slothshark has done a much better writeup of the aural soundscape than me (partially deaf) ever could. it sounds like its cover art. it knocked my fuckin socks off. this thing is SO textured, it's like taking a nylon scrubber to the inside of my skull (in a very good way). the way the reverb and the slight feedback blend is just. mwah. also features a close cousin of the morricone WAH WAH WAH wail!

-

reading

raymond chandler's the big sleep. once again i trust that we are all adults who know that many genre works, including this one, are very much products of their time. however this one is exceptionally racist and homophobic for its time. chandler can't quite make up his mind how he feels about Jews.

it reads very much like a first novel, the plot and pacing unfold like a colt getting up. i like the solution of the book much more, but even though the movie's plot is a little less coherent it has more Vibes. another first novel problem is that it's a little embarrassed of itself-- this line dampens every cool line aferwards.

"Neat, huh?" Brody said. "Just kind of stand up a minute. Come forward just about two yards. You might grab a little air while you're doing that." His voice was the elaborately casual voice of the tough guy in pictures. Pictures have made them all like that.

which immediately dampens the following lines and every cool line thereafter in the book

"Tsk, tsk," I said, not moving at all. "Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains. You're the second guy I've met within hours who seems to think a gat in the hand means a world by the tail. Put it down and don't be silly, Joe."

a baffling choice the movie makes, which makes it far less coherent, is changing vivian's husband from the missing sean ryan to rutledge, Some Guy she's divorced who is never seen on screen or mentioned again. i'm not sure why this adaptational choice was made but probably a censor issue? maybe howard hawks thought marlowe would look bad if he went after a woman who was looking for her missing husband? in the movie marlowe already makes a pass at nearly every woman he meets except carmen, who is barely grown and frankly doesn't hold a fucking candle to her sister vivian.

how'd i find this: the big sleep was the first movie i watched this year and i have not been able to stop thinking about it for two months. i think i slightly prefer dashiell hammet's prose to chandler's, but chandler wrote some of my favorite short stories.

-

watching

witness for the prosecution (1957, dir. billy wilder)

this movie ended with a fascinating early piece of spoiler culture: “The management of this theater suggests that for the greater entertainment of your friends who have not yet seen the picture, you will not divulge to anyone the secret of the ending of Witness for the Prosecution.”

when i watch movies made by directors i already know i like, i have a good time! who would have thought!

another fucking scintillating Wilder movie to showcase some of the greatest character work ive ever seen. despite (maybe because of) the numerous twists, it’s one of the fairest mysteries ive ever seen. i don't think knowing the twist spoils the film, bc it's really know what happens but HOW it happens, but i find myself reluctant to discuss the ending at all.

how'd i find this: had kanopy credits to use up, thought this would be a good movie to knit to. partially right bc i got a fuck of a lot of rows done bc i was knitting faster and faster as it careened along. there was a cramp in my jaw from clenching my teeth so hard.

-

playing

still fuckin around and finding out in fallo/ut 4, still in beautiful postapoc maine.

the lighthouse at brooke's head fixed itself and now at the proper distance from the ground. did not go inside bc i was overencumbered by like five hundred pounds and wanted to go finish my house on longfellow's little islet.

hi valentine. the proportions are. not ideal and i probably should have built it facing the inner harbor for maximum hurricane resistance. it is not the most efficient house i have ever built, bc it only has three bedrooms. however! i imagine it is the main hub for supplies coming in and out of my far harbor settlements/a meeting place for the islanders. hence the enormous table and extra bar stools behind the counter. this first one is looking back toward the front door.

i guess ppl could crash on the trio of couches if they needed to. when you walk into the ground floor, you pass a narrow but deep kitchen, and a little pantry and separate full bath that split off the main living/dining bookcase area like so.

the upstairs has one Very large bedroom for a couple, two smaller bedrooms with armor and gun workbenches, and another full bath. plus a little seating area jammed into the spot behind the stairs and a continuation up the stairs of the "weapons i don't want to sell but don't want to carry around" wall. this house is too bright, doesn't have enough stuff on the walls/enough chairs everywhere to be a real new england house, plus the stairs are very much up to code. but i do like it.

my fucking KINGDOM for washers and dryers as buildable objects in the base game. also my fucking KINGDOM for a bay window as a buildable object in the base game.

-

making

will not have my femslash feb piece ready by tonight :(

in other making news, i would rec these white bean/kale/rice bowls. surprisingly easy to make bc all you have to do is make rice and wilt some kale and then assemble a bunch of stuff. i did not add walnuts bc i do not like them, i did not add feta bc the grocery budget is a little tight this month, and i did not make the viniagrette from scratch bc i had a perfectly good one in the fridge. i did not think this was going to be filling and resigned myself to huge portions, but this is surprisingly filling i guess bc beans and rice are a complete protein? my primary care doc will love this for me bc 1) vegetarian and 2) v heart healthy. i would definitely up the rice to two or even two and a half cups, bc i assembled four bowls at once for lunch/dunner and they were a little scant on the rice. luckily i had a fuckoff huge bunch of kale to make up for it.

will be making it again bc it requires shockingly little prep and (once you've bought the giant jar of sun dried tomatoes) pretty cheap.

three! and a fifth! blanket! repeats!!!

[lesbianpegbar]

IS LINK CLICK GOOD AGAIN WAS RHE FINAL GOOD

okay god so. this is complicated. i'm keeping this spoiler free lol, but i wrote an essay so if you dont wanna read that tldr this season wasn't good and this episode retains those overall issues but left me with enough intrique that im still invested if incredibly cautious and heavily jaded

i have suchhhh mixed feelings on this final episode and on season 2 as a whole. having slept on it and letting the euphoria wear off a bit, the episode as a whole was like. fine. it was emblematic of a lot of the issues ive had with the whole season so far. i think the pacing wasnt great, i think we spent way too long on flashbacks, and oh my god the fight scenes were far far too long (looking at one in particular like i did not care about those characters or their relationship). but the ending of the episode, at least in the moment, made me forget all about that and all about the problems with the whole season. it focused back on the main trio, and we saw interactions between them that made me remember why i love these characters and why i loved season 1. and there was a reveal at the end that, when watching, made me quite frankly go absolutely ape shit insane and feel like i was dying so. lol

but again, sleeping on it, while the end of the episode was a reminder of what i loved, it feels a bit hollow when placed in the context of the rest of the season. i think of how crazy the reveal was last night for me, but then i wonder how much more intense and meaningful it wouldve been had we actually spent the last 12 episodes exploring these characters instead of speedrunning a plot that nobody really cared about. in that way, it almost feels a bit insulting? that's kind of harsh, but idk how else to put it lol. like they had this great idea and strung us along with the bare minimum while making some of the worst writing decisions ive ever seen, and then finally at the end are like "hey! remember this thing! remember! arent we smart and clever and good writers!" and its just. sigh.

i think about what we couldve had had we spent this season with lu guang and cheng xiaoshi. if we had been shown them interacting more than maybe two times this season. if we had spent less time on fight scenes and cops and murder drama and actually spent time on the characters that i watched season 1 for. this season feels like something that shouldve been a film or half a season, if it even really needed to exist at all. it feels like they were twiddling their thumbs for twelve episodes because they just wanted to set up li tianchen and the big reveal at the end. and in that way its a huge disappointment, and a bit of an insult. they made me watch twelve episodes of something that feels like they barely thought about just so they could move on to their greater plot in the last five minutes of the season. this whole season feels like it was a stepping stone, a minor or transitory plot point in a greater story, which is a little iffy considering we all waited for two years just for something that felt like it barely mattered.

all in all, this season in general has just left a bad taste in my mouth. the conflict arises bc what they do get right makes me want to keep watching. i care about lu guang and cheng xiaoshi and qiao ling, like a lot. and with the reveal they did last night i want to see what's happening and there's a part of me that feels vindicated for being right about certain plot elements. am i falling for a shitty carrot on a stick? yeah, kinda, and that feels a little gross. i'll watch season 3 when it comes out and we'll see from there. i want to believe they'll turn it around and maybe now that they've gotten all this plot bullshit out of the way they'll refocus on cheng xiaoshi and lu guang, and maybe then we can all look back on this season and laugh and say "oh yeah that season sucks lol but the rest of it is so good so we just ignore it." at this point that's kind of best case scenario. which isn't a glowing review but play stupid games win stupid prizes i guess

[quietbluejay]

Master of the Maelstrom

You know, if I had a nickel every time I had a wh40k fave who was a space pirate leader with chronic pain in a constant mental struggle against the dark forces giving him his power, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's funny they have so many similarities on paper yet are so different in execution.

What an unfortunate first name this man has

Man, dude has style

He talks about the appeal of Chaos being idea of having the freedom to do what you want without a superior breathing down your neck (lmao) and how that's still a lie, but it's more freedom than the Imperium will give you.

oh hey hello, it's that choice again, haha.

look I know he’s an evil dude who’s in denial about being high on chaos but he’s meeting all my standards I don’t care that he’s a burnt chicken nugget so far he’s the most attractive chaos character ive met so far Well I’ll wait til he strangles a subordinate I guess With my luck with characters it’ll happen lol Okay look hes showing better social-fu than I’ve seen from a single primarch despite them supposedly having super charisma well, he has regular person charisma instead of magic warp charisma that does most of the work for you He’s constantly throwing jabs at the imperium in his inner monologue And also he’s got chronic pain and has a magic parrot also he's a tax evader What more could you want?

i think throwing Sad Ahriman at Huron would be very fun huron definitely knows who ahriman is they maybe even met before! so he'd know this is a ticking time bomb (this is, assuming sad ahriman somehow travelled through time to the future) also huron would definitely be like "i am going to cause problems for the imperium on purpose" if he were to ever travel back to horus heresy era like i had a vague thought about before

I'm also really enjoying our other main POV character, Griza Dallax. Actually you know what consistently all the admech women have been pretty great. Tawren, Carmenta, now Griza. Spider cyborg woman from Talon of Horus was also fun.

oh. i think Griza hit a nerve

Griza:

huron continues to be salty about the imperium he wants people to suffer the same way he did and have the lies of benevolence/protection stripped away also man, calling out Mortarion and Magnus for sulking for 10k years and i get the feeling he'd say it to their faces, quite possibly huron internally: it would be totally sick if guilliman was my dad and i got to fight him huron: also if i have to die, what a way it would be to go out

Valthex my beloved

I just like how in this whole room of people who don’t trust each other and would sell each other for one corn chip there is one mostly genuine friendship

Diversity win! Local space pirate is NOT xenophobic!

Rip the tarellians though, got killed for having too much pride when Huron's got other stuff to do I find it fun though that his internal monologue has zero xenophobia He’s better than guilliman in this respect lol I think this counts as becoming a better person out of spite. I mean yes he did still kill them for essentially being in the way but he’s equal opportunity that way lol

huron: the imperium is xenophobic, ergo i will welcome xenos under my banner actually i think he's quite possibly the ONLY non-racist POV I've read so far unless we're counting eldar who happened to just not think about non-tyranid aliens

i just love love love the metaphors and similes warhammer writers use "[the ship] jerks into the air like a scalded animal" huron: lmao think twice daemons you're not getting onto my ship

pros in favour of huron being an ultramarine successor: organized, likes logistics, wants to have all the details available cons against him being one: doesn't think or talk in their stupid "theoretical/practical" huron: the problem with being a chaos space marine is that sometimes your ship eats your space marines and also people get into fights all the time so you have no clue how many people you actually have on board or who they are

RIP

also, i still find it hilarious that the warp tastes like burned sugar to everyone me ruining my candymaking attempt because i looked away for five seconds and it burns: this is so warhammercore huron: if you don't want to use your own soul to make bargains, store bought is fine

The level of willpower

daemon tries to tempt him huron: BEGONE THOT the whole bit was great

"...their enemies for them"

so, like, i know he's unreliable narrator but this is really adding fuel to my theory that the official story about the badab war has propaganda. Like I'm not gonna say he did nothing wrong, lmao, but it doesn't fit with his personality.

griza my beloved

sits bolt upright POV SWITCHING THERE WAS POV SWITCHING IN ONE SCENE AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE, BROOKS YOU SMOOTH-

Griza, no

the problem with might makes right huh what i find interesting is that it's a philosophy he's adopted as a means to an end rather than a goal in and of itself huron's POV is so fun

that's a burn all right

im not sentimental, local space pirate says sentimentally, with a sentimental expression

also i am standing by my opinion that huron would be able to fix ahriman (and the ship of misfits) BUT it would require some fairly specific circumstances

honestly ahriman is a character i don't really want to write it's hard to put him in wacky shenanigans maybe im unnecessarily constraining myself lol i did start uh writing a huron fic though involving time travel

wait i forgot to meme huron: you captured guilliman and you LOST him??? HOW do you LOSE a primarch??? Verngar: you forget to cherish him wait ok my further thoughts which i prob shouldnt be typing due to arm lol

i love how the imperiums enemy is forged from itself Meanwhile he’s constantly fending off demonic temptation that feels like his own thoughts

RIP Griza, she ended up sacrificing herself for the Imperium in the end

looks like the red corsairs are blasting off again….

anyways it was a fun book

I had two issues with the book: one is that it felt more like an extended character study of Huron than a proper novel. It was a fairly fun character study because Huron's a fun character, so it didn't bother me too much, but it is an issue. The second, and the one that bugged me more, was that it was really more of a tie-in to the "main plot" rather than standing on its own, the plot was really the weakest element.

It also had a subtly different interpretation of the setting from the other 40k books I've read so far (I'm ignoring the HH, because those SHOULD be clashing with 40k in terms of atmosphere, tone, etc), the kind of thing you get when you have multiple writers taking over from each other and you get stuff that clashes tonally and also in where they take the feel of the worldbuilding, I don't know the term for this. You see it in comics all the time when a new writer takes over and decides to put their own spin on things which may be fine on its own but can have some radically different interpretations of characters or setting elements etc. This is really more of a minor issue for me, and Brooks doesn't go as far as I've seen in comics, otherwise I'd be listing this under main issues, but it definitely feels like he's working from a different franchise bible than French/Haley/ADB (assuming they HAVE a franchise bible which I highly doubt given what I've seen of Black Library's competency or lack thereof. To be fair given the sheer scale of 40k any such beast would likely be the size of a contemporary Sanderson novel). By that I mean, it doesn't feel like he's doing his own spin on it, but that, again, he's writing an extended supplement for the game so it hews more closely to the tone, atmosphere, setting details, etc. as they're presented in codices. I used a lot of words here to dig into a minor complaint that's YMMV on whether it's even a negative or not, and I'm still not sure I was able to describe what I wanted to lol.

[honeystwiggypeach]

So Ive been reading your haikyuu "didn't know they where dads" and was wondering if you could maybe do one for suga and daichi.

Ps they are great and super cute

I definitely can!! I’m so glad that you liked it!! I think they’re very interesting to write since I rarely write conflict!!(just letting you know that I’ve only written for Daichi once and idk if it was to good…) for Sugas I changed it a little!! Also!! I should start working on the prompt list soon just wanted to say that!

I am so sorry for how long this took! I was in school and my school is like I think an hour or two longer than the average school here😭😭

Tw- drunken one night stands(suga), probably cursing, arguements, let me know if I missed something!

Suga

He’d be ecstatic, he’d always wanted to be a dad. Your precious daughter was the result of a drunk one night stand and you had met Suga only a few times from a friend before, you couldn’t really careless though, she was amazing and your favorite person always asking if she could draw pictures with you when you’d try and write things. The problem was really that you didn’t know how to contact him as said friend ended up breaking their friendship with him.

Unfortunately, Yui was starting school today, unfortunate for you not her. Yui was insanely excited to start school as she bounced on her feet asking if you guys could leave yet.

“Just a second honey, a few more things and let mommy get a photo please?” You tell her as you open up your camera app, you see her pose and you snap a few photos.

“Ok ready?” She nods happily.

When you walked into the building there he was, his eyes widen dramatically as he drops his gaze to the little girl who’d suddenly gone nervous at the idea of being left here.

“Suga?” You ask quietly and he nods, it’s evident that he knows Yui is his daughter, it wasn’t like she didn’t look like him, she had a similar mole near her eye, his eye and hair color, and a matching piece of hair that as much as you tried to flatten simply wouldn’t stay.

“So this is uhmmm” he motions toward Yui and you know what he’s trying to ask, you nod a bit.

“I tried to contact you but you know with everything…maybe we can talk about this after school” you suggest as he nods taking hold of Yui’s hand as be guides her to sit with the rest of the kids.

“I’d like that”

Daichi

It ended bitterly, you couldn’t grasp that his job wasn’t dangerous.

“Daichi, and what do I do if you piss someone off one day and they hurt you?”

“That’s not going to happen!” He yells right back and before you knew it it was over.

Too stupid of an argument to apologize for as the both of you had taken it too far.

But almost a whole year later, you’ve got two precious babies, a boy and a girl and they’re the lights of your life.

“Good morning my loves” you coo turning the lights on in their nursery as they smile and giggle bouncing in their cribs, “who wants to go to the park?” You ask as if they could understand.

It felt like you’d been in the house for days, besides the sun was good for them. So you loaded them up into the double stroller and buckled them in placing a few snacks on the tray to keep them occupied as they giggled and babbled.

You smiled softly letting your mind lead your legs to the park not even thinking twice to go down main street…coincidentally the same street Daichi directs traffic on…

So when his eyes widen at the sight of you you begin speed walking down the street as he calls after you buzzing on his walkie talkie for someone to take over his position.

By the time he’d reached you he was panting hands on his knees as you leaned over the stroller the babies cooing happily.

“Daichi” you speak, your words come out sharp and harsh, harsher than you intend.

“Listen I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I see you moved on had kids,” his heart wants to break at the idea.

“Daichi” you mumble

“that’s fine, I just want you to know I still love you.” He finally catches his breath as you roll your eyes.

“Are you done?” He nods as you pull back the little visor on the stroller.

“They’re definitely yours…I didn’t settle down at all and I love you as well but we’re kind of a package deal babe” you tell him in almost a joking manner.

He’s nodding the most serious look on his face as he looks down at the twins both staring right back up, eyes the same dolor of brown as his are.

Pls let me know if you want to request anything because I love writing requests so much!!

[mangoisms]

Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)

I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)

To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?

I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)

He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him

(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)

Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah

okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...

that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....

(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)

in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.

there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?

no no yeah i totally agree!

re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)

i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.

his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).

but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing

which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.

editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.

i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)

i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.

ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with

but idk at this point they have to give us something 😭 anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.

thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**