#that’s extremely creepy and I don’t really want to dive into that possibility..?

[barbwritesstuff]

1/?

Ashdhdhsg ok if you don’t mind my Chris obsession in your inbox, here’s some more!

Some disclaimers:

1) this is going to get. um. pretty granular.

2) I'm code diving for the sake of optimizing my Comparative Chris Studies.

3) My analysis going to be filtered through the lens of my own playthroughs and emotional reactions.

4) I will be asking lots of questions, mostly rhetorical - I am simply enchanted by the possibilities of the text. Please don’t answer any of them unless you really feel like it - I don’t want to bombard you!!

5) This is already pretty lengthy and I'm far from done -_-; I'm numbering these asks to avoid confusion.

Beginning from the beginning: Chris suing for everything is sooo awful I love them. The later reveal that they’re a lawyer is insane context for the first divorcee scene:

“there is no going back once there are lawyers involved. There is no hope for a reunion, or even an amiable end. Lawyers mean two things. Pain and paper. That's the only way this can end now. Pain and fucking paper.”

Jesus Christ mc, tell me how you really feel. The way this frames their perception of the entire relationship as doomed from the beginning, even if it's just subconscious? The way it frames their perception of Chris as a person? ouch.

Early Chris is so interesting from meta perspective. In these early scenes, your reading of their character changes pretty drastically with your assumptions about the relationship and the character/personality of your own mc. You can totally play as an mc who justifies this kind of treatment and is as uncommunicative, unreliable, and unable to let things go as Chris later accuses them of being and has imploded the relationship on the strength of their own bad behaviour, but if you interpret the relationship as ending more from mutually terrible communication skills and regular stressful life stuff? Going scorched earth like this can’t be seen as self protective in the same way - it’s so extreme. It's fun to ponder on Chris containing all of these messy and intricate possibilities regardless of worldstate. This is the kind of thing I love about interactive fiction as a medium, and you handle it so precisely and delicately here, leaving so much room for the player to build their own character while remaining grounded in the story.

The line that’s been stuck in my head since the first time I read it was this one:

“You got Spaghetti before you even met that lying arsehole.”

The mc is either accusing Chris of being a liar in general (which strikes me unlikely from the sense of the character that we get later) or of being a liar within this specific scenario, the divorce. So what did they lie about? Are they not honouring a prenup? or was there no prenup, only a verbal agreement to split things fairly and lovingly in the impossibly unlikely event of a divorce? Is the mc upset specifically about the breaking of marriage vows? Chris clearly has gotten their ducks in order before serving the mc with the divorce papers (another revealing fragment of character that I obsess over. what was up with that). Is it the fact that they must have been planning to break up for a while and instead of navigating it mutually decided instead to blindside the mc? How do you go from wanting to raise a child with someone to coming right out of the gate with a litigious divorce within a few months?

I want to live inside their walls. who said that.

Copy + Paste:

2/?

Side note 1: that waitress seems really sweet cool and genuinely concerned over the mc :(

Side note 2: vampires flush when sated 👀

Side note 3: 911 calls are generally recorded and can often be accessed after the fact with freedom of information requests. Could Chris have unearthed it during their later search for mc? How creepy, if they did. Heavy, panicked breathing, the crunch of broken glass, the call just disconnects. Confirmation of something awful but beyond understanding.

They way you get me immediately into full breakup mode with one line:

"Come back in the morning," Chris says in that slow, specific way, as if speaking to a very young, very stupid child.

IRL that would be an instant blind rage button for me lmao. How dare you speak to me that way. And again! From Chris’s perspective this is a pretty reasonable boundary! but they way they lay it out is so. IDK. Unbecoming. Unworthy of them. plain mean.

There’s this real sense I get from both sides of the relationship of “I’m not sure I ever even really knew this person” the love WAS there and it was real but in the fog of bitterness and anger they both lose sight of it and each other. There's a through line in this part of the game of the way high emotion can mess with your perception of reality and rational decision making.

“It wasn't all bad, was it? There were times you were happy together. Not that anyone would believe it, reading this.”

I interpret this line as the MC doubting Chris's fundamental intentions and affections. Coupled with Chris's lack of concern over the mc's disappearance (put a pin in it) it's just so INTERESTING to be the way that these two have come to see each other almost as strangers, which is really scary and alienating! Neither can give the other an inch of grace or benefit of the doubt. the cognitive dissonance is so compelling to me.

You've had all of these intimate moments, potentially a CHILD (a grandchild, a whole lifetime), with a person you now cannot recognize, who's actions you cannot understand. Of course Chris isn't going to let mc into their house, they could have been anywhere, doing anything, for two months now! the thought that it might not have been by anything but MC's own volition is anathema.

----------------------------------------------

I'm living for this Chris deep dive that landed in my inbox.

However, I really don't know if i can say anything without spoiling the game... so I'm sharing without comment. 💙

[popculturebuffet]

Watchmen Issue by Issue: The Abyss Gazes Also (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Content Warning: This review will contain mentions of extreme and graphic violence. While i’m going to not show it because I love you all, it is vital and necessary to the story I talk about some of it so if you have sensitivity towards that sort of thing or the deaths of children or dogs, please skip this one. 

Times up times here for the watchmen once again. I’m Jake, I review comics, film and animation and for this year i’m taking a monthly look at the watchmen courtsey of my patreon weirdkev27. And i’ts been an enlightning return as while I liked it as a teen having to really drink everything in has made me appricate it more the second time around.

That said while I had to wait till the end of the month for this one as it was the easiest to rework in my schedule when I hit some sliippage, I wasn’t that put off.  And it’s not due to quality: This issue is easily the best so far, the most iconic in the series with MANY of the most memorable moments of it comign from this, and one of the most intense and captivating issues i’ve ever read.... but it’s also bleak, gory as hell, and hard to stomach. This issue is a dive into Rorschach’s mind and just what turned Walter Kovacs into the obessive right wing murderous nightmare he is. And the results are well...

It’s a great issue but I was dead serious, as I always am, about the content warning. If you’ve read this one or at leats know rorshachs backstory, then you know why i’m like this this go round. And if you don’t.. well be prepared to gaze into the abyss because what stares back.. is a lot. 

The issue is, as you could probably guess, another character focus, but while it does focus on one of our leads in Rorshach.. it also focuses on his pyschatrist, dr. malcom long who wants to study our formerly fedora clad man of many creepy rants to help him. And to possibly get a book deal but unlike the sam hamm script after it, it DOES feel like Long geninely WANTS to help Rorshach and comes off as the only friendly face in the prison: the guards don’t seem to like him any more than the police, the prisoners naturally all want him dead and taunt him in his cell every night, Long is the only one genuinely WANTING to change him for the better instead of just see him as a bloody smear on the wall as quickly as possible. 

The problem is that Therapy requires the person to actually WANT to change on some level: to adress their problems and manage their mental illness. It’s what I hope to get some day and why I take medication. It helps. But while Rorshach IS clearly mentally ill on some level, and the story sadly does the classic dovetailing of mental illness with violence, he’s HAPPY as what he is. He’s vengance in an unjust world and he dosne’t WANT to change or come back from the edge. He won’t compromise.. even in the face of armageddon.. so Long was doomed from the moment he sat down. 

The issue is framed by the twos sessions and Rorshachs flashbacks as we learn WHY he ended up like this and that he’s suprisngly tragic. I still don’t LIKE him as a person.. but I do feel sorry for him. While again the story mistkaes mental illness for violence, to moores credit he also shows Rorshach didn’t get this way out of nowhere: a society unwilling to get him help, a mother who actively hated him, and a traumtic incident to end all incidents got him there. Just because he’s an asshole at the end dosen’t make it any less tragic the world failed him so badly. That a man who ended up despite all this becoming a hero.. wound up as only marginally better than the monsters he fights. 

So we see that path during the first sessoin even if Long, sadly dosen’t get that insight to actually help his patient: we get our first really iconic bit as Kovacs says a bunch of nice stuff.. while imagining a dog with it’s head split open. 

You were warned and it ONLY gets worse. IT’s why i’m also, as you could probablyu noticed not mocking rorshach as usual: it’s just.. not an issue for that. 

Our first flashback shows him walking in on his mom .. who was a prostitut, had sex in the home and abuses her son when the john leaves because he walked in.  Yeah this work.. dosen’t have the best views on sex work, and I wince at the sterotype of prostitues who are moms doing all their work in the home. It paints them as stupid and neglegent and all sex workers who happen to have kids as  badly needing the money> Which does happen.. but geninely just because you work in sex dosen’t mean your a bad parent. Anyone in any line of work can be a bad parent. The only things I can give moore is it likely wasn’t intentional, and that it does answer why Kovacs is such a dick towards said sex workers: he had a terrible experince himself. It dosen’t remotely justify it, but it adds depth to his actions instead of just bein ga right wing ass

His next flashback during the same section is of some kids bullying him.. till he snapped and just started snarling into one like a beast, a sign of who he’ dbecome.. and what was lurking underneath. The rage, the pain, and the lashing out at a society he correctly sees dosen’t care about him. 

Dr. Long works on the case at home, and we get updates on what happened next: the incident caused Kovacs home to be investigated.. and thus him to be taken away and him to do FAR better. He got good grades in school and seemed fine.. though his reaction to his mom’s death, good indicated he hadn’t forgotten nor forgiven how she treated him. 

So at the next session Long admits he got that Roshach wasn’t engaging and asks him too.. and Ror admits he dosen’t LIKE dr. long, feeling a rich man can’t understand what he went through, but agreeing to actually talk to him about Rorshach. It shows the tragedy as well as why Rorshach remains unlikeable: He was through a lot... but he also refuses to empathize, to see that Dr. Long is TRYIGN to help walter and isn’t being condescending or anything. He gets he had a hard life and treis to understand it. The work isn’t working because Long is fat or wealthy, it’s not working because Rorshach dosen’t want it to and woudl prefer to break a geninely kind, decent man wanting to help him.. than actually GET help. 

So we get the story: after leaving the orphanage at 16 Kovacs worked in garmets, not minding except having to work with women’s clothing. It’s there he found the mask and we find out why it shifts, something I hadn’t even noticed till now: it’s a special fabric made my mahattan. the client abandoned the dress so walter took it home and played with it, as frankly I would in that situation then forgot about it, again as I would. It wasn’t till two years later when he heard about  the woman who ordered it’s rape and murder that something change. He heard how her forty neighbors, all above.. did nothing. Some even WATCHED. 

So Kovacs made a face he could look at in the mirror..and Rorshach was born.. but as Kovacs says not really.. it was still walter in the mask. not the Rorshach he BECAME. Kovacs also points out there are more severe cases than his but the doctor isn’t visiting THEM... and makes a valid point there. I do like that: while I do think Dr. Long is a good man he’s not infaliable, as seen right after when he assumes the kitty genovese incident was just an excuse to do this.. when what caused Walter to become Rorshach was much deeper.. and that Rorshach did beocme a hero for good reason. To protect those who couldnlt

Long then recounts an incdient after that.. and we get one of the most iconic scenes in the comic as an inmate tries to intemdiate rorshach.. and soon wins his darwin award as rorshach flings a hot tray of food at him burning the man. And as he’s carried away he says the line bart..

“I’m not locked in here with you.. your locked in here with me”... Long is starting to realize how wrong he was, Kovacs isn’t getting better.. and Long is getting worse, neglecting his wife for the case.. or as he muses

Ror procedes to prove how far gone he is claming Kovacs was soft for having friend sfor having mercy.. for in short being a good hero, venting his resntment at everyone quitting and again adding a layer to his respect for the comedian: while he was still an ass about the sexual assault and always will be, we see he saw a kindred spirit: someone who didn’t give up and who saw the world was fucked up and kept up the work anyway. Granted he dosen’t seee that the work was jut an outlet for the comedian to kill and abuse people, so again, asshole, but it does make it more than just being right wing that makes rorshach respect him and shows WHY he dove so hard into this: i’ts not just the conspiracy.. it’s a person he admired and kept him going dying and him wanting to know WHY. 

He ends it by saying “We are compelled” and Malcomn Long.. wonders why. He’s also unnerved to find out the newstand he goes to is the same one Roshach went to.. it’ trivial but I’d be spooked too. Still Malcom’s wife has a party planned with some couple friends to try and smooth things over, and things seem better... so yeah.. about that..

See.. now we get what caused Walter to become Rorshach.. the Rorshach we know. And find out about the dog with it’s head split open. This.... is what haunted me and kept me away a bit. The stuff with him slowly breaking malcom dosen’t help.. but this.. it chills my bones. It utterly unsettles me and i’mnot the hardest mark for horror: horror stuff can shock me. But this.. may be one of the most intense and unsettling things and we hardly see anything... and that just makes it worse

So Walter was investigating a kidnapping, a chlid was taken for ransom on a stupid mistake as her father wasn’t rich like they thought and taking it personally for reasons you can probably guess, Walter looked for her. And while he foudn where she was clearly kept, he also found butchers tools, a childs clothes in the incenerator... and the worst thing the attack dogs the guy had.. feasting on human bones. I.. I can’t even use a reaction image for this it’s so fucking disturbing. And Moore to his brilliance.. dosen’t show any excess gore or anything dosen’t show the child being devoured. All it takes is the implications and the sights of the dogs fighting over the remains..a nd that.. that is enough.  It’s enough to leave me barely able to write the rest of this and it’s enough to kill walter kovacs. Rorshach then picks up the cleaver.. and well .. you know what happens next. 

So we get a naturally brutal death for the monster, as he first THROWS THE DOG CORPSES AT HIM, which as a dog lover all this dog stuff.. jesus christ it’s a lot, then chains him to the furnance, gives him a saw and jigsaw style tells him “won’t get through chain in time’ ... giving him an obvious implication.. and then lighting the place up. 

And from that Rorshach took his philosphy: there is no meaning, no purpose, no greater design.. only what we make. No one shaped it.. it’s us.. just us. 

Naturally he ruins the dinner party talking about the incident, and his wife runs out on him like n ass instead of seeing you know, he’s heavily fucking traumatized... and he ends the issue starring into the abyss.. but finding nothing. There is nothing left for Dr. Long.. or anyone

This issue is a masterpiece.. but as you might of guessed it is a lot. It made me respect Rorshach as a character a lot more, see far more complexity and thankfully Dr. Long’s story isn’t over just yet. Though thankfully this part of it is. Thank god. This issue is brilant, intrancing.. but fuck is it a lot. It’s probably Moore’s best work.. but it’s also easily darkest. So be careful when you hit this chapter.. nad be good to each other. Because yes, maybe something didn’t shape this, I belivie something did though I have no idea what. Beleivie what you belivie as long as it dosen’t hurt others. But even if it didn’t.. even if all we hav eis the meaning we make.. there’s no reason to not be good to each other. There’s no reason to not help one another and there’s no reaoon to not care about what we do have, what meaning we have made. Rorshach wasn’t wrong people can be terribhle and sometimes violence is just there... but they can also be good.. and despite everything, especially in the past week.. i have to belieive there’ shope and that we can make this world better again and that a select few can’t ruin it no matter how hard they try. Thank you for reading. 

[spectral-kitkat]

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

[guacameowle]

Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC - Notes / Opinion

Y’all know me. I have to take notes for everything I play or read or watch. I can’t help it. Here we have Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC. The infamous bad end. The red shoes bad end. The “kinky” bad end, to some. Not my favorite bad end, but a memorable one. With that said, let’s dive in! Spoilers ahead!

Episode 1

This DLC has multiple endings! Interesting. Depending on how I answer will determine which end I get. This has me thinking there may be a way to get Jumin back onto a healthier relationship track? I will eventually aim to achieve both endings, though.

Jumin’s hand is fucking HUGE. MASSIVE. WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING HIM? Please hold while I scream at Kristan (jalaqueeno) about this. Holy shit.

It’s been one month since Jumin went to work. One whole month! Mr. Jumin Workaholic Han hasn’t gone to work in ONE MONTH! This man has made it his sole mission to keep you locked up & stay with you. Dude, like… why are you so obsessed with me~?

MANSION? They’re not in the penthouse anymore? I mean… there are worse cages to be kept in.

I am absolutely playing the answers that subtly suggest I am not ok with this new forced live-in situation.

HE’S TRACKING HOW MANY STEPS I’VE TAKEN. Wait until this man finds out I hate walking the mile…

Jumin continues to call this a game. Says he has a therapist on standby. Does he know that HE can use the therapist? In fact, I highly recommend it.

He says you can leave at any time. Color me suspicious. I don’t believe him for one second. How far is this “game” going?

MY PRECIOUS BABY DARLING SWEETIE PIE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD WHOLESOME BEAUTY PERFECT CUPCAKE ELIZABETH 3RD HAS ARRIVED!

According to Jaehee, MC has been with Jumin for two months now.

Interesting how Jaehee makes a point to mention the mansion being untouched as this is where Jumin keeps his childhood toys. He brought you where he keeps his toys. Does he really see all of this as a game & you’re a toy? Can he snap out of it if you call for the game to end, or will there be backlash?

Some of these answer choices feel tricky. I’m trying to gently weasel my way out of this “game” without hurting anyone.

“Don’t say that to my master.” Listen, Jumin is my favorite man in this game, but that answer option physically made me cringe. Me? Call a man master? I could never. Not me. Not this bitch.

Wow. Ok. All this stuff with Jumin’s mom is moving fast. I can already see if he actually does lose her, it may make him hold onto MC that much more/harder. Maybe. 

Woah woah woah. I know Jumin is acting a little suspicious & out of sorts, BUT AIN’T NO ONE MARRYING HIM EXCEPT ME. ALL RIGHT? I’ll fight. I know where to get a bomb…

Excuse me? A fitness trainer? Yeah........ about that. I’m going to have to leave. Sorry this situation didn’t work out between us Juju. Best of luck, though!

Episode 2

My room is kind of cute! Wait, why the fuck aren’t Jumin & I sharing a room? If I’m locked up & tracked, you better believe I’m sleeping next to that dick.

Send a message to space? The fuck?

Oh. Duh.

“I heard that obsession comes from anxiety.” DING DING DING DING.

Omg Seven. You can’t just ask me to open my box. I’m seeing another man...

LONG HAIRED JUMIN?????

Jumin really didn’t have one woman in his life who wasn’t cold or weird to him. I know we already knew from his route he had a difficult upbringing. But I hadn’t expected them to dive into that aspect for this DLC but I can see how there’s the connection.

I told him I wanted to be alone to see if he’d respect boundaries.

OH SHIT THAT CHAPTER ENDED SO QUICK. DID I FUCK UP?!

Episode 3

So are we meant to see this adult Jumin, playing this “game” with MC, as him regressing within himself & falling back to enjoying fantasy? Avoiding reality? Something he didn’t allow himself to do as an actual child? He didn’t understand why people indulge in magic, fantasy, make-believe as a kid. Now he’s vastly overshot the mark to the point that this fantasy life with MC has become his “reality.”

DO NOT GIVE THIS BABY BOY WINE, I SWEAR TO GOD.

Omg. Little Jumin is so cute. I will fight everyone to protect him.

This woman done fucked up. Look at this child, you’ve given him anxiety. He doesn’t know if you want him to be mechanical or a normal kid. Jesus. All this Work Work Work No Emotion Work Only No Feelings bullshit is her fault. Jumin’s only doing what he was taught. He was told this is all he’s good for, all he was meant for.

“I feel like I am a tool. Sometimes I want to be treated like a son.” STOP. IF THIS GAME MAKES ME CRY. I’M GONNA FIGHT SOMEONE.

IF Y’ALL DON’T GIVE THIS LITTLE BOY THE LOVE & AFFECTION & CARE HE DESERVES

Jumin is obsessed with grape juice. Grows up to be obsessed with wine. Y’all made him an alcoholic.

“I am not like her. I will not be cold. I will be warm to my family…” JUMIIIIIN. THIS LITTLE BOY IS TRYING SO HARD! IT IS POSSIBLE JUMIN! AIM FOR YOUR GOOD & NORMAL ENDINGS!

SLEEPY JUMIN HAN CG

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ME

OH HELLO HUSBAND GODDAMN YOU LOOKIN’ CUTE AS FUCK

LET ME HOLD YOU JUMIN. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED & HELD & CARED FOR!

I think you have to choose the answers that gently pry you away from Jumin? He can’t force this relationship. It can’t be controlled by him. It isn’t a game. He needs to come to that realization, but he’s really not making that connection...

“I have never been involved in a deal outside a form of give-and-take.” Oh, that hurt. He doesn’t trust you to stay with him unless he can offer you something? His money/extravagance/keeping you in this “game” you started with him & him playing into it is what he has to do to keep you with him.

“Please show me that you love me. I want to know what love is.” Insert Explicit MC x Jumin Fanfic Here. I’ll show you, Jumin. I’ll show you all night long.

*Jumin snuggled closer* In my own personal canon, that means we FUCKED. SLOWLY. GENTLY. ROMANTICALLY.

Episode 4

The creepy lullaby music started up. Shit is about to go down.

Omg is this butler going to lock me in the basement?

Lmao did I fuck up with the “what’s a cage doing here?” reply? How was I supposed to know there wasn’t actually a cage there? No Jumin, I don’t want a cage. …. at least not for me, but we can discuss that later.

SHE WOULD LOCK HIM IN THE BASEMENT? That’s it. I’m fighting everyone. Stay behind me Jumin, I’ll protect you.

“Let me talk to her! I’d like a word with her!” LET ME AT HER, JUMIN. I HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY. SHE’S DYING. I HAVE A SHORT WINDOW. LET ME AT HER.

Not little boy Jumin Shawshank Redemptioning his way out of the basement omggggg

JUMIN YOU WANNA FUCK? NOW? This man is sending me through whirlwind of emotions.

OH SHIT. I’m torn between the “whisper in his ear” option or the “let’s change our roles for just today” because as y’all may know, I enjoy being in charge.

Me: “Let’s change our roles…” Jumin: “Uhhh maybe we should leave.” Darling, you know you’re a submissive. It’s ok. No judgement.

FADE TO BLAAAAACK. THEY FUCKIN’.

I’M HOOTIN’ & HOLLERING. After the fade the black I said I would stay in my own clothes & Jumin says, “They’re dirtier than you would think.” DID THIS MAN JUST CUM EVERYWHERE? LMAAAOOOO

Happy End!

Ayyy we did it, lads! Unlocked the happy ending first. Even though we already gave Jumin a happy ending in that basement, you know what I’m sayin’~

LMFAOOOOO JUMIN STILL CAN’T DRIVE LMFAOOOO

Wait, turned our backs on everything? How the fuck is this the happy end? Happy for who? Jumin?

So… what the fuck was that?

The good ending just reenforces this “only us” narrative? The good ending is that this “game” Jumin & MC are playing doesn’t end? Nothing resolves. He doesn’t mend any relationships. There’s no healing or moving on. He exerts more of his control on MC & takes more drastic measures to ensure they’re together.

WAIT. DID WE JUST FUCKING ABANDON ELIZABETH 3RD TOO? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS ENDING SUCKS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FUCK THAT. PISS OFF, JUMIN HAN. I WON’T HAVE THAT BULLSHIT. YOU DID NOT JUST TURN INTO A PET ABANDONER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE. I HATE IT. NO. I’M OUT.

The CG was hot, though. Jumin in black on black on black? AND GLOVES?! Hell yeah. That’s a whole meal right there. Delicious. 

Episode 1 (Attempt 2)

Well, time to try to get the bad end (????) now I guess. Maybe the bad end is that this game of their’s actually does break. That’s what I’m hoping for at least.

Jumin already making jokes about switching roles. Jumin, my love. I am more than happy - extremely willing & eager actually - to be in charge here.

Pretending to want all of this ‘being a possession’ nonsense is making me uncomfyyyy.

Episode 2 (Attempt 2)

“Do something Jumin wouldn’t like” Lmaooo it calls Zen. HAHAHAHAHA

I think Zen’s voice acting is some of the most expressive, in this whole game.

Ah, so then I guess turning on the computer let’s you talk to Yoosung.

Not Jumin deliberately cutting my call. The audacity.

Jumin, possessiveness can sometimes be cute. But in this case, I’m not having it. Not interested.

All the toys in the world didn’t keep Jumin entertained. BUT THIS PUSSY DOES.

Episode 3 (Attempt 2)

Flew through that one just choosing the options I didn’t choose before. Didn’t seem to glean any new information except the fact that Jumin no longer has a desire to form a family, says it entirely depends on how badly MC wants a family. Continues that narrative of, if MC wants it, he will provide it... to keep her.

Episode 4 (Attempt 2)

So we’re just going to leave gold bars in that safe?

Happy End Again????

It says I got Happy End again, even though I chose entirely different answers & went along with being Jumin’s possession...

OH WAIT, IT IS DIFFERENT!

I can’t believe my first meeting with Jumin’s mother is after he rawed me in the basement & had me put on a fantasy fairy tale princess dress to make our escape. Omfg. Ma’am, your son’s cum is still dripping out of me, please give me a few minutes to freshen up first. Goddamn.

Jumin’s mom is named Carolyn!

I can’t believe I’m in the middle of a family argument while Jumin’s cum glues my thighs together.

She ain’t sick. She’s lying. I’m calling it.

“Simple - make him soft” Jumin: “Like mashed potato?” LIKE MASHED POTATO? FIRST OF ALL, JUMIN SAYING ‘MASHED POTATO’ IS SO FUCKING CUTE I WANNA SCREAM. Secondly I meant, make him soft as in help him let down some barriers & let people in.

“I heard sons are psychologically bound to be attracted to women reminiscent of their mothers.” Ok yes, that may be true but you don’t have to remind me. Bleh. Stop.

“If my consort is to leave me one day, I will be scarred for the rest of my life.” I am sad for him. So sad.

ONE BILLION, TO BREAK UP WITH JUMIN? WOMAN, YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

The “mind if I touch it” option fucking sent me. I’m laughing so hard. It is 1am. I might wake up my neighbor! I chose the “…..” option though. I’m sticking with Jumin through this. Let’s see what happens.

… I’ll loop back & choose the money if I can though to see what chaos occurs.

“This is exactly what people mean when they say, ‘So not cool.’” JUMIN. NOW IS NOT THE TIME LMFAOOOO

Jumin went back to work. All right, that’s progress. He renovated the basement on a happier note. Ok ok, small progress. 

“Now I wish to paint this entire place with our love.” TIME TO CHRISTEN EVERY ROOM WITH SEEEEX

THAT CG!!!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!

Looping back to choose more options for this episode...

CALLED JUMIN’S MOM AN OLD HAG & JUMIN LIKED WHEN I DID THAT LMAOOOO. I would like to call her a lot of things.

Final thoughts:

Long story short (too late), this DLC reenforces that this is a Bad Ending path, in which you won’t find a fix for Jumin, won’t find a way to get him back on track to his true good end. And that’s ok! This is a bad end after all! Though both endings are listed as “good” or “happy” endings, they’re still set in this twisted relationship, this weak form of love, Jumin believes is real. He calls it a game, says a therapist is on standby, says MC can leave any time she wants, yet when she chooses options that distances herself, suggests Jumin pay more attention to something other than her, or shows she’d like more freedom, he immediately blocks that path in some way. Even when choosing all the options that don’t give in to the plaything/being controlled role, the conclusion is Jumin reenforcing his control harder - you both escape together to be alone, neglecting everyone & everything in your life, & Jumin insists all he has to do is take care of you in various ways - to give you everything - to keep you with him. Even following the confrontation with Jumin’s mother & turning down the option to leave Jumin for money, it shows how far Jumin will go to keep MC. He truly believes he has to provide everything (money, security, possessions, etc.) in exchange for her love, her company, her willingness to be with him. This man has slowly been broken over & over again over the course of his life & he’s finally given in to these poor teachings & selfish encouragements, & has convinced himself what he’s found is full love where he provides anything & everything to keep MC’s interest in him. A clear give & take relationship. A contract. A game. And he’s not about to let that go.

Personally, while this path isn’t my favorite for Jumin, I was still absolutely impressed with the two different ways they had this particular Bad End play out. An emotional read from start to finish & back again.

[masterhandss]

Hello! Uhm… there’s something I’ve been wondering about for a long time now regarding Nicol. And I figured I may as well ask now, since S2 has started airing.

I’ve seen his wiki page. And it says and I quote: It was later revealed that his emotionless face and quiet nature is a result of extreme trauma. From a young age, people of all genders and ages would tend to do absurd things, as well as assaulting him.

I’ve been so fixated on this probably since S1 had finished, yet I haven’t really had the time to read all the light novels to know where this specifically comes from or even be sure if it’s actually true. The only thing I managed to find was a scene (I think in one of the later volumes) about Katarina pointing out this creepy guy that took Nicol’s used utensils and stared at him a lot, but she didn’t do anything about it because Sophia saw nothing wrong with that guy’s behavior and told her it was okay.

I’m not sure if the wiki was referring to that scene, or something else. And since I know that you read the light novels, I was hoping if maybe you could check that info and confirm/deny it for me. If it is true… then it really puts a whole different perspective on Nicol. People in the series have been shown to faint if Nicol smiles, but it was also mentioned how he was one of the only second year students in the student council because people would fight over him.

And to think their behavior possibly had escalated to the point of traumatizing him as a child makes me very heartbroken to think about. Especially when the wiki also mentioned how he feels very uncomfortable when he’s the center of attention… makes me wonder if the anime will even touch upon any of that.

Hello! I'm sorry if answering this one took such a long time. This one definitely caught my interest so I wanted to take my time in writing a response for this.

// trigger warning: brief mentions of assault (nothing too graphic I swear)

I'm an editor for the wiki, so I admit that I have seen that description on Nicol's page too. I don't know who wrote it (and I never bothered to edit or adjust the wording), but that doesn't really matter since it's not exactly something I can deny.

Before that I just want to make it clear first that the "assault" mentioned in the wiki is probably not sexual or physical assault, it's likely referring to a simple assault, aka any unwanted advances that is done without consent. Whether or not any advances on Nicol while he was growing up were leaning towards sexual assault or physical assault (unwanted physical contact from men and women, sexual invitations, groping etc.) has not been mentioned by the books. It used to be a very popular headcanon for the more darker and realistic depictions of the hamefura or fortune lover world to give Nicol that kind of backstory, which is why I still feel like clarifying just in case anyone might get the wrong idea.

Hamefura is a very light-hearted series so I doubt it would put Nicol is such a tough dark position. While it's played for laughs, thankfully Nicol's beauty makes him so dazzling that people can't get close to him rather than being so handsome that people would try to initiate physical contact at every opportunity lmao.

Rather than the wiki pertaining to a specific scenes, I think it might be written in hindsight instead. It could very much be referring to the guy from Volume 6 who keeps staring at Nicol and stealing his uetnsils, but I feel like it could also be referring to the possibility/likeliness of such events and advances happening regularly. Like we don't really need to be told that men and woman throw themselves at Nicol for us to know about it. I mean if its frequent enough for Nicol to be unbothered by it, then it must happen a lot (as gross as that is). Regardless, those advances can still be classified as assault (since Nicol is not a fan of it at all) and the only reason he doesn't do anything about it is because it happens so often that it might be not worth the trouble anymore. At least we do know from the StoryMe hamefura game that Nicol will act in the face of an unfavorable position if he can, so hopefully he isn't just sitting around like an animal in the zoo if he were to receive unwanted advances.

I wouldn't deny that all of these interactions hadn't traumatized Nicol though. They never really mention in the books word-for-word why Nicol is so emotionally stunted/incapable and silent, they only really mention that he doesn't talk because he doesn't want to receive any unwarranted pity. In the first hamefura anthology (whose canonicity is up for debate), they do say there that the reason why Nicol doesn't talk a lot is because people would twist his words in order to turn it around and make him sound more tragic and pitiable than he actually is. I'm no expert on what is or what isn't considered as trauma, but that sounds like a source of trauma to me. The idea of Nicol being so fed up of people misinterpreting his words and expressions in order to fit what they want to hear must have been so hard on him, to the point where he decided to just not speak at all. It can be easily link to his emotionless-ness too, since any positive reaction like a smile could be twisted to mean other things.

Realistically, having people constantly fight over you, whisper things about you behind your back, constantly ogle at you and be constantly flirted on regardless of gender sounds terrible. If that was me I'd be traumatized too. He definitely hates being in the center of attention for all the reasons previously discussed and other well-known variables; he's always in the eyes of every noble around him which makes him hate being in the spotlight (from his perspective, maybe he always feels like the spotlight is on him, like it'll just never leave. he'll always bothered by the eyes of other people even maybe when he's at home... eyes watching him with desires and expectations, haunting him even when he's alone...). It really makes you think about what kind of life Nicol had been living in without Katarina's positive influence. He would have to bear the burden alone, without being able to say a word about it because he needs to act tough for the sake of Sophia.

Like geez, Nicol is even aware that he has stalkers but isn't doing anything about because "they aren't harmful". He never even really clarified what he meant by that (at least I don't remember anyways, feel free to correct me), like is he already doing something to stop the stalker, is it happening so often that he doesn't care anymore or is he fine with it because the stalker hasn't done anything dangerous (yet)???

If you want an /objective/ answer to whether or not the wiki description was referring to the stalker man from Volume 6 or something else, that line on the wiki was added on April 27, 2020; while the JP release of Volume 6 was on March 20, 2018 vs the EN ebook release which was on June 28, 2020.

The editor is likely a JP reader, or it was just an interpretation based most-likely what-if scenarios/interpretations. That's a fun fact for ya :DD

—and since you mentioned that you haven't read all the volumes of the light novels yet, let me help you by listing chapters in the books with a Nicol POV (that I can remember, as of Volume 9)

Volume 1 Chapter 5 (Encountering Katarina) Volume 2 Chapter 4 (Remembering Katarina's Positive Influence) Volume 3 Chapter 2 (School Festival Various Vignettes - Nicol Ascart) Volume 4 Extra Chapter (The Troubles of Nicol Ascart) Volume 5 Chapter 4 (A Lady for Nicol) Volume 8 Chapter 2 (Nicol's "dream")

With this, hopefully it'll be easier for you to cross-reference if you want to look into Nicol's character on your own :DD

TLDR; the trauma and assault mentioned in the wiki is definitely real, although the extent and severity might depend on the reader('s imagination). There's no particular scene to point to as the source, explanation or example of Nicol being given uncomfortable treatment, but it's not hard to imagine given the kind of character Nicol is. He is a silent beauty who caries himself smartly and politely, which in the eyes of many carnivorous nobles is the perfect kind of prey. Whether or not he was assaulted in any way or if people's behavior towards him can be considered as assault depends on the reader, since we still have yet to get a deep dive on Nicol's life outside of his friend group.

If there's any confirmation or deconfirmation to anything I said that I have missed during my skimming on the light novels, feel free to tell me! If I got the definitions and examples of trauma and assault wrong, feel free to tell me and I'll edit this post as fast as I can!

I know this might not exactly be the response you were hoping for, but I hope it was good enough to read qwq. There's so much I could still say but I know I'll go too deep into interpretation (I kinda already did though...), which I want to avoid since the question is asking for in-canon proofs and instances.

Thank you for the ask!

[ultimate-cinephile]

more stuff that no one asked for! keep in mind that the ask box is open so feel free to request!

JOKER FLUFF ALPHABET

he deserves more love!

A- Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Okay, let’s be honest, you fell for Joker because of the hair or because of his eye.

He fell for you because he admired your bravery and kindness (doesn’t matter if you’re part of the SPFF, helping him and Licht, or just a plain ol civilian). You two met because he had showed up in your apartment one night, bleeding out, and your first instinct was to patch him up, and as soon as you were done, you pulled a knife on him.

B- Baby (Do they want a family? Why or why not?)

I think Joker wouldn’t really want kids. He lives a dangerous life, and so far, you’ve been the closest thing to normal that he’s been able to keep without it being taken away from him. If he did decide he wanted kids, he would have to have finished his work and he would have to be sure that no one would be coming for him or his future family.

C- Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Despite appearances, Joker is most definitely a cuddler. He loves wrapping his arms around you or having your arms wrapped around him because he likes that security. He loves the assurance that you’re there. 

With that being said, his go to cuddling position is probably the Honeymoon Hug. It gives him access to feel your arms wrapped around him and the security that gives him, and it allows him to wrap his arms around you. It makes him feel like both the protectee and the protector.

D- Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Joker…. doesn’t really plan dates. If you help him on his mission, that’s probably the closest to a date you get with him. Well, you two do order take-out and cuddle while binging some movies too. If you really want to go out though, just tell him and he’ll plan a most extravagant evening out.

It doesn’t really matter what you two do as a date though. Joker just loves spending time with you. You two could literally be watching paint dry and he’d be content with it, as long as it’s with you.

E- Everything (You are my ___; eg: my life, my world)

You are my only hope in this godforsaken world.

F- Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

After a long night of helping Joker decipher some clue he picked up on his latest expedition. You were mumbling to yourself and tossing out guesses. Joker took a moment and looked at you. Your eyebrows were furrowed, eyes squinted yet somehow glaring at the clue, biting your lip in frustration. You caught his gaze and asked if something was wrong and he tossed out a witty remark. You laughed and in that moment Joker realized that if this was normal, he wanted it, and he wanted it with you.

G- Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Joker is not a gentle man. However, with you, he is the most gentle person to ever walk the face of the planet. He knows that you’re more than capable of handling yourself, but he’s so terrified of losing the best thing to ever happen to him that he sometimes treats you like the slightest touch would break you.

H- Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Joker likes to slip his hand into yours and then you intertwine your fingers. Depending on his mood, he might lightly swing them. If you two are cuddling and you lace your hands together, they’re probably laying on his chest.

I- Impression (What was their first impression?)

Your first impression was probably somewhere along the lines of: “Man, I can’t wait to eat my rame- HOLY SOL, THERE’S A GUY BLEEDING OUT ON MY COUCH!” When you were able to think rationally, and after Joker had managed to talk you out of removing the knife from his throat, you thought he was weird and a little creepy, but you guys managed to bond anyways.

His first impression of you was that you were incredibly kind. I mean, you patched him up without a second thought. His second thought was, “Okay, this chick/dude might slit my throat. They’re awesome.”

J- Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He absolutely does not. 

How can you be jealous of someone who never existed in the first place?

Okay, so he does get jealous, and he might not go to the extent of murdering someone (although I wouldn’t say he’s above it). Usually if he gets jealous, Joker just materializes at your side and the guy almost immediately makes up an excuse to leave. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t trust the other guys.

K- Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

He probably did. The first time he kissed you was impulsive and quick and neither of you realized what was going on until you pulled away. He got embarrassed so you dived back in to kiss him again.

Kisses with Joker start off soft and slow and almost timid if you’re really looking for it, but eventually get more passionate. He always drags it out for as long as possible and they always tell you just how much you mean to him without him ever having to say it. Needless to say, when the both of you pull away, you’re usually breathless.

L- Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Honestly, probably you.

You and Joker were kissing one night and when you pulled away you breathlessly sighed, “I love you.”

When you looked at him, he was tearing up, and he moved to hug you, quickly repeating the phrase. He loves you so much, and he was scared to say it in case you didn’t feel the same.

He can’t thank you enough for loving him and giving him the normal life he’s always wanted.

M- Memory (What’s their favorite memory together?)

His favorite memory involving the two of you is simple. You two were cuddling. He had woken up first and you were still sleeping. Your hair was beautifully splayed out behind you. You looked so peaceful while you slept that he dared not move for fear of waking you. The light from the window highlighted your face perfectly and it was just perfect.

N- Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person that they love everything?)

Joker doesn’t buy you everything. If he sees you eyeing something a lot, he will buy it for you with no hesitation, but he isn’t the guy that goes out and buys you a teddy bear for no reason either.

O- Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

Green. You had an ivy plant in your bathroom so anytime he sees that magnificent shade of green, he thinks back to how you two first met and he goes full sap mode.

P- Pet Names (What pet names do they use?)

Doll is his go to. I don’t know why. It's just is. He’s also rather fond of love, dove, and baby.

Q- Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

The watch. He keeps it, even broken, and it is still one of his greatest treasures.

R- Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

On a rainy day, he loves to make some type of hot drink and then curl up on the couch with you in his arms while you watch westerns (like The Magnificent Seven, Tombstone, or Quigley Down Under).

S- Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Joker doesn’t cheer himself up. He bottles up his emotions and distracts himself.

DO NOT CRY AROUND THIS MAN!!! He has no idea how to console a person and he gets extremely awkward. He’s torn between joking and hugging you so he settles for rubbing your back. He’ll let you talk and offer to help the best he can.

T- Talking (What do they talk about?)

With you? Anything and everything. His goals, his mission, whatever movie you managed to get him into.

U- Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Cuddles. Cuddles help him relax. Please cuddle this man. Any sort of physical contact from you makes all of his worries and stress from the day melt away, and it’s just what he needs after a long day.

V- Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Well, he is proud of you and shows you off to his associates as much as he can.

Aside from you, his hair. Like, have you seen it? hOW DOES HE GET THAT VOLUME???

W- Wedding (When, how, and where do they propose?)

Joker bought a ring two weeks before he proposed to you.

Where and how he proposed is kinda funny. Both of you were exhausted. You had either accompanied he and Benimaru on their mission or spent the entire night worrying about him, and he had done cool fighting stuff all night. So when he got home, you both crashed onto the bed and he immediately pulled you into his arms.

He thought you were asleep, and in truth, he almost was too, when he popped the question. “(Y/N), you mean a lot to me, more than I’m capable of expressing. You’ve given me the closest thing to a life that I’ll ever have and you make life suck a little less. Marry me?”

Imagine his shock when you mumbled out a sleepy, “Yes.” Nevertheless, you woke up with a ring on your finger in the arms of your fiancee.

X- Xylophone (What’s their song?)

I have absolutely no idea why but the Hurdy Gurdy Man by Donovan reminds me of Joker.

For your relationship song, I’d say it’s most definitely James Dean and Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens.

Y- Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

He absolutely would love to marry you, and he thinks about it all of the time. He buys a ring on a whim and carries it around for two weeks and constantly thinks about when would be the right time to do it.

Z- Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

He wants a dog. Having a fluff ball around would be fun to him. Plus, he’s always wanted one.

[obae-me]

The House of Lamantation on Summer Vacation

“I believe the humans call it ‘Summer Vacation’,” Diavolo announced to his prestigious student council. “A time where students take a break from their studies and have fun. I think this could be an amazing opportunity to further strengthen our bond between demons and humans. Which is exactly why I want all of you along with MC to experience this Summer Vacation for yourselves. No need to worry, I have it all planned out already. You all are dismissed, you have packing to do after all!”

Lucifer

He was very against going on a vacation. It was more of a chance for his brothers to get themselves in trouble. And going to the human world no less, a world he was still pretty unfamiliar with. He was less in control there, which made him even more upset.

Once he saw the sparkle of excitement in MC’s eyes, he softened a little, and tried not to completely dismiss the idea.

Made sure to pack his extra special collection of Demonus. He would probably need it.

Once they all got to their own private beachfront cabin via the influence of the Lord of the Devildom, Lucifer laid down the ground rules. Too many of them...

Will pester and coddle MC constantly. “Where are you? Did you put on sunscreen? I want to know your location at all times. Wear sandles, you don’t want your feet to burn. Don’t swim out too far.”

MC is now in possession of secret pictures of Lucifer passed out in a hammock, his sunglasses slightly crooked on his face. He’s never looked so peaceful. MC refuses to let anyone know about the pictures they took, including Lucifer.

Will un-ironically take MC on a romantic walk on the beach.

Actually enjoyed his time on vacation, but won’t admit it to anyone.

Mammon

This boy is so excited. No class? No studies? And in all in the human world no less? He’s going to do whatever he wants whenever he wants, and steal buy stuff along the way.

He brought a full empty suitcase for all the stuff he’s going to acquire.

Started an intense water gun war by getting one of Satan’s books wet, which will effectively end in Lucifer getting a face full of water and banning water guns for the rest of the trip and possibly for eternity.

“Yo, human, I found these on the beach, who knew something free could be so pretty. Shells in the Devildom usually have a monster attached to them, heh. H-hey don’t get the wrong idea, these are completely worthless, and so I don’t want ‘em! I thought you could do something with them I guess...”

A few creepy men decided to give MC a hard time, but those humans were not prepared to have Mammon stroll up behind them with a look so serious MC almost didn’t even recognize him. They wouldn’t be bothering MC again, and Mammon never left MC’s side for the rest of the trip.

MC keeps finding little gifts on their nightstand in their room, they know it’s from Mammon, but anytime they bring it up he pretends like he has no idea. “Wow that’s crazy huh?? Looks like you have someone really great and generous looking out for you, human!”

Levi

Levi was also against going. Being outside around human world normies? being without his PC? And his figures?? Not to mention he’d miss new summer anime releases!

Almost had to be dragged out of the house until he came around to the idea when MC mentioned this was practically a Beach Episode.

Still ended up downloading a bunch of anime on his phone as well as every portable game system he owned.

If this shut-in could barely handle the light in the Devildom he is not ready for bright shiny human summer days. So prepare to hear him complain.

This boy will swim fully clothed, and will also manage to have every little beach creature follow him around. He tried naming all of them Henry but eventually lost count of how many new friends he made.

Spent hours building a sandcastle with MC because it was exactly what the main protagonist of “I Became Friends With A Mermaid And Now I Spend All Day At The Beach Building Sandcastles” would do.

Can’t stop imagining MC as a mermaid and can’t stop being flustered when they see them.

“H-hey, MC...would you maybe...want to go swimming with me when it’s dark? The human night sky is really beautiful...not that you’d want to do something with an ugly shut-in like me...”

Satan

Was pretty indifferent to having to go on vacation. As long as he could read he would be fine. In fact, this could be a pretty interesting trip, there’s so many new things he could learn.

Packed books on tropical human climates. Actually packed any book he thought would enhance this experience. More books than personal items.

Also brought along his camera for his most recent hobby on photography, and he hasn’t had the opportunity to take anything on the human world.

For some reason he finds that with most of his pictures, MC happens to be in almost all of them. Strange.

Absolutely despises getting wet other than showers, so he’ll stay far away from the ocean, safe either in their cabin or on the sand. He only broke this rule of his twice, once for the water gun fiasco and secondly for a game of Chicken Fight just for an opportunity to shove Lucifer underwater. 

He’ll probably tell MC some disturbing fact about the ocean just to get them to hang out with him on dry land for the rest of the day and will read to MC while they relax.

He once fell asleep on a beach chair, book over his chest, the title mentioning something about pirates. MC smiled and put the book off to the side, remembering to save the page. 

Somehow he and Lucifer didn’t bother each other as much during the vacation, in fact Satan seemed to be enjoying his time, and be able to laugh and smile without any malice behind it. 

Asmo

Selfies, selfies, selfies!

So excited about going on vacation, all the stress from exams wasn’t doing his skin any good. Besides, he loves the glow he gives off under the sun in the human world.

Packed so much stuff it was a wonder they brought it all. Pretty much packed everything he owned, just in case.

Uses the summer heat as an excuse to wear as little as he possibly can.

Will be hanging out at the beach almost constantly, lounging out in the open, flirting with anyone he comes across. Especially MC.

“MC! You need more sunscreen, come over and let me get those hard to reach spots.~”

Packed several swimsuits for MC despite them never asking him to, but they try them all on for him to humor him at least.

Doesn’t care about getting wet because you know he’s got that special waterproof stuff. He’ll be looking great regardless. 

If MC happens to be insecure about how they look in a bathing suit, he will be their hype man. “But dear, you look amazing. MC, I’m the demon of lust, if I say you look good, that means you look great, and if anyone says otherwise, well, they’ll have me to deal with.” 

Beel

Is fine with going on vacation as long as there’s good food.

Packed his personal stuff pretty lightly, but had to bring along about seven coolers worth of food.

MC introduces him to all sorts of summer treats, popsicles, sherbets, shaved ice. But his new favorite sweet treat turned out to be the s’mores he and MC made together over an open fire.

Somehow restrains himself well enough to keep plenty of snacks and food for MC.

Will make sure MC is well fed and hydrated at All Times. “MC, you’ve been out playing for a while, come share this watermelon with me. MC, come drink this lemonade, it’s so tasty.”

MC went a little too far out in the water, getting caught up in a current, struggling to get back to the others. Beel didn’t spend a moment to hesitate before diving in the water, swimming like an Olympic athlete to help MC back to shore keeping an eye on them like a lifeguard from then on out.

Aside from the endless eating he’ll probably get into some sports like beach volleyball. He also played a tournament of Chicken Fight with MC on his shoulders against all the other brothers. They were an undefeated team.

This sweet boy will enjoy the trip to it’s fullest, because it was filled with food and family.

Belphie

He’s conflicted about going. He tried to back out of it plenty of times before Lucifer finally threatened him. He feels like it’s...too soon for him to be going back to the human world. But if MC is going...whatever, it’s not like he had anything going on anyway.

Packed plenty of pillows, blankets, and comfy clothes, fully expecting to sleep for two weeks straight. He hates how hot it is, MC has never seen him without his usual baggy layered clothes, but he’s opted for shorts and a tank top.

Doesn’t like how bright it is, so he’ll wear sunglasses and stay under the shade at all times if he can. He’ll complain about the sun but he can sleep through anything, and will take naps no matter how sunny it is. 

Became the victim of getting his body buried in the sand, but it was like a blanket so he fell asleep instantly. Stayed there for hours until Beel came and carried him home.

Doesn’t like swimming too much but will join in by laying on a float. MC flipped the float over once, and Belphie got into a splash fight with them which ended with both of them exhausted. More sleepy cuddles. 

Will make sure MC gets good rest after each day of activity, he’ll bring cool cloths, fans, teas, himself.

Spent a full day with MC building a pillow fort worthy of Diavolo himself, they rewarded themselves by sleeping close together in their own blanket nest under the soft glow of fairy lights.

Extra

They all found out that demons actually can get sunburns, so MC was tasked with taking care of all the brothers during the trip, doing their best not to laugh at all their reddened faces. 

Their summer vacation only lasted about two weeks much to MC’s disappointment, but figured it was probably for the best for the safety of humanity. 

Diavolo was extremely satisfied with the results, and kept it in mind for plenty of other events he had planned for them.

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: We Are the Mask

The things you like, how you socialize, your reactions - all make up parts of your personality. Deciphering the truth from the lies; we possess the ability to morph who we are. How much/what do we mask, and what purpose does “masking” serve? This month’s blog dives deep into a few topics that all tie together to create one collective theme. As most things in life, these topics are intertwined. You’ll likely take something different from this blog than the next person, but that’s how my blogs are, as you probably well know… Now, without further adieu, let’s jump into this one.

To start, I’d like to take a moment to ask that you visit the website 16personalities.com and take their personality test. I guarantee you’ll gain valuable insight into your personality, and how you compare with others. It may even help you to better understand yourself or others. I always get the result of “Protagonist: ENFJ-A”. This result hasn’t changed in the last 5 years, however, psychologists and layperson test-takers alike will let you know that throughout life the results can change. So, on a scale of 1-100, here are my detailed results: 

MIND (Introversion VS extroversion): 89% extroverted

ENERGY (intuitive VS observant): 79% intuitive

NATURE (thinking VS feeling): 53% feeling

TACTICS (judging VS prospecting): 94% judging

IDENTITY (assertive VS turbulent): 56% assertive

Personality is a somewhat stable thing but has the potential to change over time in certain ways. There are some parts of us that I fully believe will never change. I term those the “concrete personality factors.” However, there are plenty of things about our personality that we can change if we try. Strong willpower and mind can aid in changing one's personality traits that are malleable. The not-so-malleable personality traits are much harder to change (if changing them is even possible) and would take a great amount of self-discipline and maybe even some serious professional therapy. My perspective: embrace who you are! If there is something about yourself that you would like to change because it is harmful to yourself or others, then work towards that change. At the end of the day, you are the only person who holds the key to changing who YOU are. The choice is ultimately yours. I tell people, no amount of therapy can change a person unless they truly want to change in the first place. Just like no one else can force you to change. Changing requires work and effort on YOUR part. 

So how do masks tie into all of this? People hide who they are behind metaphorical masks all of the time. We see this in several realms, however not all always apply in this context to everyone. We see examples of people “masking” who they really are through makeup, clothing, behaviors, and actions on a daily basis. Some are better at hiding who they are than others, and some of these folks you likely believe that you know who they are, but in reality, you have no idea. That’s one of the interesting things about the internet - you can be whoever you want to be. Whether that is your true self or a figment of who you are, the internet is a place where we see the most “masking.” Deciphering the truth from the lies in this digital world can be challenging.

I’ll tell you a story about an encounter I had early on in the age of technology and computers. Back in the olden days of dial-up internet, we had these things called chat rooms. Haha. Okay, I’ll stop acting like most of you don’t know what the hell dial-up and that whole era of technology looked like because I’m sure that a majority of you experienced it firsthand like me. Anyway, so I was in a chat room talking with random strangers. I really hit it off with this one guy. We liked a lot of the same music and had a similar style. He sent me some pictures and I thought he was attractive. We had good conversations. It was a good friendship so far, so after talking with him for a few months I decided to set up a meeting. I decided to be on the safe side just in case and take a friend with me to meet him for the first time. A friend of mine needed to go visit her boyfriend so she agreed to give me a ride to the location and agreed to leave me there while she ran to her boyfriend’s house only if I was comfortable. If I wanted her to stay she agreed that she would stay with me. We drove the 30 minutes into town and approached the location in her pickup truck. As we came closer to the building I could see a guy standing outside of the building (it was a bar) and he was smoking a cigarette. He was wearing all black, chains hanging off of his pants, and a front-facing black baseball-style cap. I knew that had to be him. We stopped in front of the building and he walked towards the truck on the driver's side where my friend was sitting. Upon reaching the window, he looked absolutely nothing like the picture he had sent me. In fact, he was much older than the picture he had sent me. Yes, you can laugh, your friendly neighborhood witch Kavita was officially catfished before catfishing was a thing. *cue laughter* He had an extremely creepy energy coming off of him (and not the good kind). He asked what we were up to, and I told him we had some errands to run, but that I just wanted to stop by and say hi. He was eyeballing me like a piece of meat. I grew intensely uncomfortable. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My friend sensed that this was not the meeting I had intended and explained to him that we had to go, but that it was good meeting him and quickly drove away. She began laughing, looked over at me with a sheepish smile, and said, “what in the fuck was that?!” 

Oh, the early days of the internet. It was the wild west. It still is to a certain extent, but back then it was a much different time. My story paints an important picture about how people can easily put on a mask to impress others or to lure in their prey. I’ll never be certain of that man’s intention, but he lied about many things for one reason or another and that’s not cool. 

Looking at masks from a literal perspective and their origin, the first masks are from at least 9000 years ago. They were thought to have been used for occult rituals in countries like China and Africa. Some masks were to ward off evil spirits, while others were used for disguise, entertainment, or even for religious worship. The earliest masks were made from tree bark and leather. Some of these masks were in the shape of a human face, however, some were shaped like animal faces. Animal face masks often symbolized the connection between native people and nature. Many tribes and ancient cultures (some of which still exist today) gave utmost importance to nature, animals, and the world around them. As time went on, sometimes animal masks were used in sync with someone’s zodiac as a form of personal representation.

Masks have come a long way since their invention. Today masks can be used for protection (as we know all too well in this day and age), as well as to supply oxygen and other drugs during procedures or in life-threatening situations. We see people wear masks on Halloween (counting the days over here!) as well as for social gatherings, such as a masquerade-themed party or on New Year’s Eve. 

So, we’ve talked about metaphorical masks as well as masks in the literal sense. I hope that you were able to take something from this blog. Whether you learned something new that you found interesting or maybe you even learned something about yourself through that personality quiz. Until next month, be easy and stay safe out there my fellow earth wanderers. 

<3 - K

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[musecharm-writes]

Bad Influence, Pt 3 (Steve Harrington X Reader)

Summary: A couple of days after your first day at Melvald’s, you tell Joyce about something that’s been bothering you; Steve gets help with his crush from a couple of friends.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Over the days following your first shift, things get much easier. You’ve almost totally forgotten the exchange with Harrington and his friend. You might be able to completely, if it weren’t for their extremely obvious attempts to spy on you.

You think they’re under the impression that they’re being very sneaky, which means they probably don’t know that you’ve already caught on, but it also makes you feel a little sad that this is the best they can do.

You elect to do your best to ignore it; a nosy jerk and his little pal aren’t gonna get to you, not when things are finally starting to go your way.

“You’re cleaning that counter a little forcefully, there,” Joyce observes, carrying a box past you. When she emerges from storage, she asks, “Something on your mind?”

You consider the question. You stop scrubbing the counter like it’s done something to offend you and lean against it, the rag still under your hand. “Nothing. Just thinking about the meeting with Chief Hopper.”

Joyce walks over to a nearby shelf with an inventory checklist on a clipboard. “Uh huh. Okay. So what’s really bothering you?”

You purse your lips. Putting the rag and lemon scented Pledge you were using to clean under the counter, you follow Joyce over to the shelves, shoving your hands in your pockets.

“Steve Harrington’s friend and some kid have been following me,” you confess softly. “Every time I’ve left to go home for the past three days, I’ve caught them trying to spy on me. They’re probably gonna do it again today.”

Joyce looks genuinely concerned. “Steve’s friend? Who, what’s their name?”

You shrug. “Some girl. She was in here with him the other day, I think he called her Bucky?”

Joyce’s eyebrows shoot up toward her hairline. “ Buckley ? Robin Buckley?” She gestures with one hand to indicate a height of about five and a half feet. “This tall? Short brown hair?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s her.”

Joyce has a look of growing suspicion and confusion on her face. She lowers her clipboard to put one hand on her hip. “What did the kid look like?”

You frown as you try to remember. “Uh… a little shorter than that Robin girl, with curly hair, I think. At least, from what I could tell; he was wearing a hat.”

Joyce nods slowly. “...I think I know who we’re dealing with.” She looks you directly in the eye, and says, “Do you want me to tell them to leave you alone?”

You think about saying yes, just for a second. Then, you shake your head. “I’ll tell them to stop if it really starts to bother me. They haven’t realised it yet, but they suck at spying.”

Joyce laughs. “Okay, but if you change your mind, lemme know, and I’ll rough ‘em up for ya.” She smiles playfully, and you can’t help but laugh at the image of Joyce Byers fighting two children for bothering you.

“...Thank you, Joyce,” you say softly.

She gives you an odd look. “For what?”

“For… I dunno. For not being too hard on me, even though you were the one who caught me… doing what I did.”

She sighs, looking around to double check you’re still the only two in the store. “I won’t get into it too much since we’re still working right now, but… I used to be a bit of a wild child myself. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Plus,” she gives you a little nudge with her elbow, “Hop likes you. That counts for something in my book.”

You smile at her. “I guess it does.”

--

“You WHAT?”

Dustin and Robin look pleased with themselves, despite the fact that Steve is filled with a murderous rage.

“We’ve been following your crush to make sure the two of you would be compatible,” Dustin repeats. “To be honest, I don’t think you’re cool enough to land this one, but Robin seems to think you have a chance, so I’m gonna go with it.”

Steve points a finger angrily, about to defend himself and his infinite coolness, and then closes his mouth and folds his arms. “I don’t have to signify that with a response.”

Robin chimes in with, “I think you mean ‘dignify,’ genius,” which really doesn’t help their case with the whole ‘Steve-is-incredibly-angry-at-them’ thing.

He throws his hands up, frustrated. “Whatever, who cares! Why have you been following a person who I have zero chance of ever being in a relationship with to find out if we could date? That’s weird! And probably invasive, I think! Which means it’s also creepy!” He stalls out as he realises the possibility that you may have noticed his dunderhead friends creeping on you. “You haven’t been noticed, right?”

Dustin blows a disbelieving raspberry. “Psh! Please, you’re kidding, right? I think if we were able to successfully spy on a bunch of Russian soldiers without getting caught, we can do this, no problem.”

Robin smiles triumphantly. “Yeah, Harrington. Have a little more faith in our abilities.”

Steve shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. He prays that they’re telling the truth; otherwise, he senses some major embarrassment in his future.

Steve sighs, resigned. “Fine. Fine . I’ll let you two keep playing secret agent on my behalf. But if you get caught, lie your asses off about what you were doing, okay?”

They both promise not to put Steve in any more hot water with you than he already is, but it doesn’t fully lay his fears to rest.

“Oh, hey! You should come with us this time! We can fill you in on everything we’ve learned so far, and then you can watch the wild crush in its natural habitat,” Dustin says.

Steve frowns. “I dunno… Sounds like a bad idea.”

“No, I think it’ll be good. That way, if we do get caught, we can say it was all your idea,” Robin jokes. (Or at least, Steve hopes she’s joking.)

Which is how they all end up hiding behind Steve’s car, across the street from Melvald’s, waiting for your shift to end.

When the time finally comes and you’re walking out the door, they have to communicate via hurried whispers in order to coordinate their movements. Steve thanks their lucky stars that you’d walked to work that day.

They follow you down the street away from downtown. In the moments when it seems you’re about to turn around and catch them or you’re waiting to cross the street, they duck into alleys or alcoves, dive behind cars, or hide behind other people. Steve hates to admit it, even only to himself, but he sort of enjoys the exhilaration of sneaking around. He’d forgotten how much he enjoys it.

At the corner of 12th and Oak, after hiding behind a parked car, Dustin hisses, “Shit.”

Steve immediately snaps to attention. “Shit? What do you mean, shit? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know where--”

“Hey.”

Robin, Steve, and Dustin all yell in surprise, whirling around to find you standing behind them. You have your hands in your pockets, a rucksack over one shoulder, and a bland expression.

“...Hi,” Dustin says awkwardly. He looks around for a moment, apparently noticing for the first time the ramifications of his and Robin’s actions. “Uh, we can explain--”

You hold up a hand. “Don’t bother,” you point at Steve. “You had them,” you point at Robin and Dustin, “follow me, for who knows why and honestly who fucking cares. Please stop. You’re not great at stalking people.”

Ouch. Okay. Well, there’s a hard truth.

“Sorry,” Dustin says, looking genuinely dejected. Steve isn’t sure whether it’s because he upset you or because you said he’s bad at spying.

Your face twitches, like you’re trying to maintain your vaguely stern expression, and then it crumbles, and you sigh. “It’s okay. I’m not really that mad about it since you guys aren’t really bugging me that much, but just…” You run a hand through your hair. “Look, please stop following me around, okay? It’s weird, and a little creepy. I don’t know why you were doing it, nor do I want to know, nor do I really care. I’m just kind of over the weird shit.”

Robin and Dustin share a look before nodding, and Steve says, “Don’t look at me, I got roped into this at the last minute.”

You look confused, but you nod back. “Okay. Cool. Bye, then.”

You go around them and start to walk away, but before you can make it to the crosswalk, Dustin calls out, “WAIT!”

You turn to look back, one eyebrow raised in a silent question.

Dustin says the last thing Steve wanted to hear him say. “Can Steve get your number?”

Steve’s entire face feels like it’s gonna melt off. He’s absolutely going to run away and change his name; this is just too goddamn embarrassing.

Then, you do something that shocks Steve to his core: you laugh. It’s a full, rich laugh, and it makes his heart pound so hard he thinks for a second he might be having a heart attack -- but, like, for real.

And then , you say, “Damn, kid, you have a lot of guts. Sure,” you swing your bag off your shoulder and root around in one of the pockets before emerging with a pen and a small notebook. You scribble your name and number down before ripping the page off and handing it not to Dustin, but to Steve, who feels like he might combust.

“I get home at one o’clock every day for the next two weeks,” you say, with a crooked smile. “Call me any time after that.”

Steve nods, dumbfounded, and you turn on your heel and saunter away.

“Holy shit,” Robin says, laughing, as soon as you’re out of earshot. “I cannot believe that that somehow worked in your favour. You are either the luckiest guy in the world or more pathetic than I originally thought.”

Steve pays her no mind. Instead, he’s desperately trying to remember if there are any rules about when to call once you get the phone number. Do you wait a day, or call that night? Or maybe you wait longer than a day? Or do you wait for them to call you? Wait, shit, he didn’t give you his number. 

Why didn’t he give you his number?

“Steve, I can practically hear you panicking. Calm down, it’ll be fine,” Dustin says.

Steve’s head whips around. He stares at Robin and Dustin, considering his options, and then realising that his only other options are Nancy and Jonathan.

“I need you guys to help me land a date,” Steve says.

--

You spend a couple of hours at home doing nothing in particular. You read a couple pages of a book you pull at random off the shelf, but you can’t concentrate on it, so you turn on the TV and start channel surfing.

All the while, you’re also trying to pretend you aren’t waiting for the phone to ring.

You gave Steve Harrington your number. If you’re being honest, you think you may be  panicking a little, but you don’t really mind the idea of him calling you so much as you mind the fear that this is some kind of joke.

A part of you is very, very afraid that it’s a joke.

You sigh, putting the remote down and stretching out on the couch. You gave him your number; all there is to do now is wait for him to do the rest. No use stressing over it since it’s out of your hands.

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. As the hours tick by -- as you make yourself dinner and put some in the fridge for your mom, as you watch a movie with your feet up on the coffee table and a bowl of ice cream in your lap -- you start to lose hope that Harrington ever planned on calling you at all.

Then the phone rings, and you almost drop your ice cream jumping up to get it.

“Hello?” You say casually, proud of the fact that you don’t sound out of breath from running to the phone.

On the other side, Steve Harrington says your name.

“Y-Yeah,” you say, and then clear your throat. “That’s me!”

“Cool, cool,” he says. “So, hey, uh… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?”

You chuckle. “Wow. That’s a little forward of you, isn’t it?” You’re thankful that he can’t see you blush through the phone.

“Oh. Is--Is that bad?”

You smile, a little charmed despite yourself. “Nah. I’ll give you brownie points for it, if you want.”

“Oh! Sure. I, uh, I love… brownies,” he finishes on a bit of a low note, so you decide to throw him a line.

“You wanted to hang out, Steve?”

“Y...Yeah. Yeah. Uh, if you want. I just… Wanted to give us the chance to get to know each other. Like, under the right circumstances, y’know?”

You hesitate for a moment. You have a feeling that he’s got more in mind than the arcade; after a bit of thought, you admit to yourself that you’re at least curious about where this goes.

“Sure,” you reply. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll meet you at your place at… seven on Friday night? If that’s cool with you, obviously. No pressure, y’know.” He sounds a little nervous, and you can’t help but feel for him a little. Poor guy’s clearly out of his depth.

“Yeah, Steve. That sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

It’s not until after you’ve given him your address and hung up that it hits you: you might, potentially, have a date with Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington, who saw you get arrested.

Great.

[arshipweek]

AR Ship Week - Fanwork Recs

Banner credit

This is the fourth and last weekly post in the lead up to Alex Rider Ship Week. Only 1 week to go!

This week we’ve got a selection of shippy fanwork recs submitted by members of the AR fandom. Enjoy and hope to see you next week!

**Please note that I haven’t listed all the details for the fics so take care to read the tags on AO3 before diving in!

Yassen/Alex

Our Endless Numbered Days by Galimau Just your run of the mill heartwarming look at the quiet beats of Alex and Yassen's relationship...after the apocalypse.  Soft and sweet this fic focuses on the very still and quiet moments of two men at the end times trying to hold onto the things that bring them joy. It's an intimate view of what Alex and Yassen's life could be like of all their cares were quite literally wiped away - excellent  world building and writing make this a must read.

Yalex art by Ireliss Alex and Yassen in a lake! Everything about this picture is perfect - the light, the colours, the feeling of stillness... Probably the most beautiful picture of Alex and Yassen I've ever seen.

Sun Poisoning by fElBiTeR Angsty, beautiful, slowburn soulmate fic with a twist on the usual tropes and gorgeous imagery

Twisting, Turning, Tumbling by ShiruyTheSecond A glacially slow burn, road trip au, and sick fic all mashed into one fic, in non-chronological order based on 100 themes. I'd say this was one of the gateway fics into Yalex for me; there's nothing like reading a longfic you thought was gen and wishing it were slash, only for the realization to hit you in the face like a brick 50 something chapters later. Alex is on the run for a variety of reasons after a mission for MI6 goes spectacularly wrong, so he surprisingly finds himself leaning on Yassen for help, experincing whumpage along the way. Absolutely delicious.

Specific Performance by BurntWhisper Alex is a good spy, good enough that SCORPIA has tasked Yassen with killing him. Yassen can't do that but he can give Alex a very...enthusiastic going away present even Alex hasn't been a very good boy. It's a fun look at Alex and Yassen's first fling with callbacks to the original gen fic. That hits every perfect note and hits a few other things too.

Interlude by Suzie_Shooter Incredibly soft and fluffly Yalex that ends with an unexpected top!Alex and bath sex. Will absolutely warm your heart the way it does mine every time I read this fic.

Medicine by Suzie_Shooter The other fic in response to the prompt of "Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth" except this one is praise kink while the other is humiliation kink! Specifically focused on a smoking hot blowjob and Alex's reluctance turned enthusiam, plus, there's a second chapter, just in case one dose of the antidote isn't enough.

One Year by BurntWhisper The slowest of slow burns featuring Alex and Yassen on the run from MI6, SCORPIA and their own feelings. Covering 3 months of their life on the run this fic features action as well as the slow, quiet moments where the budding relationship can truly shine through and behind it all the intelligence world continues to grind on threatening to take their happiness with it. It's a beautiful fic with strong, detailed writing and the emotional weight that it deserves.

Midnight Smoke by Hijja If you're in the mood for darker fics with plenty of Yassen hurting Alex complete with violence and heavy dubcon, Hijja has you covered. This particular fic features a mission-type premise with Alex being sent to investigate a spate of teen abductions only to be captured. Yassen is there, and he has his own goals...

Hello Alex by anonymous Fanart: a reunion hug between Yassen and Alex.

Face The Truth by capeofstorm Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth. Yassen is absolutely a man to take advantage. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Lights Out by Suzie_Shooter Yassen and Alex left tradecraft behind for a new life in the Greek islands. Ten years on, their relationship is still going strong and they've become island locals, the proprietors of a sailing club and a windsurfing business. Their idyllic life is disrupted by a new threat that wants them dead. I just love the premise of Yalex riding off into the sunset and not looking back. This fic not only has suspense, action, hot sex, and the intimacy borne of ten years...but once you're done, there are two excellent sequels and a prequel to lap up!

Villa in the Sun by BoldAsBrass A multi-chapter story within a story as Yassen and Alex keep in touch over the phone through a tale of a Russian bodyguard's encounters with a young English man. This is so cleverly done and beautifully written; I could re-read it and re-read it (in fact, that's exactly what I've done).

Sting in the Tail by Suzie_Shooter With the world hanging in the balance, MI6 presses an imprisoned Yassen into service. They use Alex to convince him, but also a nasty "sting in the tail" incentive to guarantee results. A thrilling Yalex mission!fic where Yassen and Alex forge their trust in each other by facing mortal danger and saving the world together. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, eating up the slow burn and wondering how on earth they were going to succeed with all the obstacles Scorpia and MI6 threw in their way.

Rarely Pure And Never Simple by fElBiTeR Non-con > dub-con > fuck-yes-con speedrun. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Just Say I Do by Nanimok I'm possibly biased because this was written for me, but 'woke up married' is a great trope and this is both snarky and adorable. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Open Invitation by Suzie_Shooter After Ian's death in TV 'verse, fifteen-year-old Alex is living alone in a depressive, self-destructive spiral. He realizes someone is watching him at home...and decides to give them something more compelling to watch. I am squicked out by creepers, but the characterizations tackle the thorny elements head-on: Yassen's mixed feelings and understated pursuit tactics are 100% believable, as is Alex's volatility; he's alternately confused, provocative, and defiant. Exhibit A:“Does that make you a victim, or a slut?” The question came casually, but it had the unexpected sting of a slap. Alex blinked. “What, I can’t be both?” he countered after a second. Plot ensues, because how can a relationship possibly form from such a premise? Mind the tags (you might trip into your next kink because the sex is mind-blowingly hot).

Flirting with Danger by BoldAsBrass Basically THE gateway fic into Yalex for me - short and sweet, snappy narration and dialogue, a sleekly dangerous Yassen and Alex who might be a skilled, pragmatic adult but quickly realises he's in over his head. Sprinkle in a bit of dubcon and scorching hot writing and you get this perfect fic.

Burning a Dead Man's Fingertips by GreenQueenofClubs Multichapter slow burn, MI6!Yassen AU - an excellent premise done extremely well and feels fresh and new, balancing mission-style fic with character development! The dynamic between Yassen and Alex is somewhat different here compared to most Yalex fics as they don't meet until Alex is an adult; a really intriguing glimpse into what could have been...

A Little Pat Down by Nanimok Airport security can be frustrating at the best of times but couple it with being edged like none other by an assassin turned security guard and it can really be a pain in the ass. A filthy but extremely well written premise. Crack taken seriously is this author's strong suit so not a single one of their works will steer you wrong.

Yalex Ballet AU by anonymous Yalex ballet AU with absolutely gorgeous imagery and slow burn. Fluid prose and in the background, the shadows of past histories and things unsaid.

Gentleman's Agreement by Valaks Yassen and Alex have a "gentleman's agreement" for handling their business in the field. No one ever said anything about parent-teacher conferences. Claims to be gen, but deserves a place on this list for subtle genius alone, because with lines like "Like a fine wine, Alex Rider was improving with age" and "How interesting that Alex Rider would be that interested in his hands", what are we supposed to think....? UST in all caps is the best description.

Salty the Sweat on my Fingertips by Galimau A fun little romp of Alex visiting Tom and having to call his overly protective boyfriend? because he's pregnant and everything hurts. Beautifully written, this fic explores the ending of Oceanbreeze7's Moonfish and follows the extremely creative monster biology to its logical conclusion of Alex getting knocked up.

Slipping Through My Fingers by Nanimok This kink meme fill hits in all the right places as we watch through the eyes of a very jealous Julius as Yassen gives Alex all the attention he needs. The writing is, as always, on point and the characterization of Julius gets absolutely nailed (almost as much as Alex). Julius/Alex, Yassen/Alex

Other

Miss Julia by DantesThird Very creepy and traumatic noncon but really believable with Julia Rothman's obsession with John Rider. Alex/Julia Rothman

gone loose inside the shell by cyanides Fantastic messed-up fic where Julius keeps fantasising about killing Alex, but then the fantasies take a different turn. The possessive 'If I can't have you no-one can' dynamic really encapsulates the ship for me, and the fic stuck in my mind afterwards. Alex/Julius

smoke haze by Ireliss Dubcon, gun kink. A really intriguing and quite dark exploration of a young Yassen's situation with Scorpia and his very complex relationship with Hunter. John/Yassen

Our Settling Bones by Galimau A multi-chapter slow burn focused on a former assassin who has lost everything...and Yassen Gregorovich. The tension is off the charts and the characerization is on point. Everything you could want from the rarest of pairs. John Wick/Yassen

Lemniscate by Ireliss A look at what awaits Yassen when he arrives back at Scorpia after killing Vladimir Sharkovsky. This is deliciously dark as well as being entirely plausible. The sensory descriptions are fantastic. Yassen/Julia Rothman

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Floral Shoppe

Haha why do y’all let me do this.

It’s been almost a decade since Macintosh Plus (aka Vektroid, aka Ramona Xavier) popularised and codified vapourwave as a genre with its first actually popular release in Floral Shoppe. Since then this sub-sub-genre has developed its own subgenres and become its own flourishing marvel of internet music culture. But Floral Shoppe itself is worth examining- not to see where it all began (I haven’t even listened to Chuck Person’s Eccojams or Far Side Virtual yet), but where most people got into the genre. The lifting off point, as it were.

So grab your Arizona ice tea (don’t, it’s fucking awful) and lets dive in.

The first track, ブート(Boot), opens with a buttery smooth cymbal and saxophone line, obviously slowed down, but evoking a level of chill few songs manage to get to for their whole duration, in a total of approximately a minute. It’s a genuinely masterful piece of music. As the vocals come in, you hear them get twisted and chopped, distorted and looped, almost jolting you out of that trance, until it’s clear that the lyrics aren’t lyrics but another instrument, you get used to the nonsense, and you’re back in the zone. The looping with some of the instrumentation makes parts of it feel almost clockwork-like, in a very satisfying manner- especially as the majority of it gets muffled and you realise that opening bass/sax line has been running through the entire time. While the next track on this album tends to get most of the attention, I genuinely think Boot deserves just as much praise.

リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing) is another one of those tracks where it’s just like, what could I possibly say about this that hasn’t been said. If you’re reading this, there’s basically no way you haven’t heard this song, so you know what I’m on about. It’s the quintessential vapourwave track, even if it’s showing its age a bit. It’s just so perfect. When I decided to write about Floral Shoppe, I didn’t really want to spend too much time here- me saying “hey I like this song everyone knows” isn’t the most interesting thing on the planet, I guess. I will say, it’s one of the few vapourwave songs you can actually sing along to, and that’s fun as heck.

Also, the lyric is “it’s all in your hands”, not “it’s all in your head”. To be fair, though, the distortion doesn’t help.

The album’s next track is 花の専門店 (Floral Shoppe, hey I didn’t know this album had a title song), a track that heavily relies on this really panned synth (you can’t even hear that on the left ear) and a lot of looping the same bit over and over again. Honestly, the first minute of this song gets a little grating, but it really picks up after that. It’s really fun and jazzy for a solid minute there, a lovely instrumental you can just groove to in your head. The fade out on this piece lasts wayyy too long for my liking, though- a full half minute of outro feels a little indulgent for this one.

Track four, ライブラリ (Library) is lowkey one of my favourites on the album- The slowed vocals work really well, and the instrumentation feels extremely deliberate and methodical. I think my biggest complaint with this song is just that it’s too short, considering Lisa Frank 420 is literally triple it’s length. But I suppose part of this project is how variable the track lengths are- it seems Vektroid was keen to work with these until she was out of ideas, and no longer, and I can’t help but respect that.

地理 (Geography) sounds substantially darker than the previous tracks, with incredibly low drones and a main line that… I mean I dunno how low it is but that shit is definitely in a minor key, you know. It’s also the sparsest track so far, with much more restraint in layering than anything else I can think of on the album. The atmosphere of this is heavy- I don’t know why, but it reminds me of that really creepy loading screen on the fuckin Magic School Bus goes inside the body Edutainment game. That’s probably a bit of a weird connection, but if you played that shit, you know how fucking eerie it’s soundtrack was, and that’s a bit of the vibe I’m getting from this track.

Our next track is a direct nod to Floral Shoppe’s predecessors in ECCOと悪寒ダイビング (Chill diving with ECCO), a reference to the aforementioned Chuck Person’s Eccojams Vol. 1 (itself a reference to the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive game Ecco the Dolphin), and Chill is absolutely right. While many vapour/synthwave pieces are more about entering an aesthetic or a vibe than actually listening to the music, as far as Floral Shoppe goes, that’s most true with this track. It’s also the third longest track here (behind Lisa Frank 420 and the next song), and while it doesn’t develop as much as one would hope based on that (or much at all), spending so long vibing out in a track like this is completely appropriate.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t care too much for the next track, 数学 (Mathematics). It might just be because it comes on the heels of ECCO, but the meandering in this doesn’t hit the same chord as that does. While I enjoy the saxophone on this song, all the shit going on in the background just kinda gets my anxiety going eventually. And by eventually, I mean about halfway through this near 7-minute monster. You’ve got these very chill elements that slowly get drowned out by the steadily rising and accelerating chaotic parts of the instrumentation that just take over eventually, and while it does chill back down again, that’s still a long time focussed on the worst parts of the song. This also really didn’t need to be as long as it is, considering the second half of the track is just, like, the same thing again…

We’re at track 8, and at this point I started looking at the Wikipedia page for the name translation and realising that I have no idea which song this is supposed to be. Like, the track lengths on the bandcamp suggest that this is the 2011 release and therefore this is 待機 (Standby), but it has the name of track 8 from the 2017 release, 外ギン Aviation (Foreign Banks Aviation)? This is confusing as fuck, but since this is the only track here with that issue, I’m assuming it’s actually Standby and someone fucked up somewhere. Oh right, the song itself. Well it’s fucking short, barely past a minute long, and doesn’t have too much going on. I’d call it short but sweet, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Jazzy, loungy, kinda chill. I dunno.

て(Te) feels almost out of place on this album. I mean, the vibe is similar, but the birdsongs really come out of left field. This sounds like the track you’d hear in a video game after you’re finally out of a cave you spent hours in. If the build in this weren’t so intense, I think it’d fit right in on the Minecraft OST. That’s a compliment, for what it’s worth. It’s also worth noting this light at the end of the tunnel bit was absolutely intentional, because this used to be the final track of the album. However, there’s two more here, added in a 2012 reissue (originally they were unnamed bonus tracks), so we might as well check them out.

…under no circumstances should you check out track 10, 月 (Moon). I don’t know what vocal sample that is, but it is loud, and grating, and obnoxious, and the instrumentation is not doing enough to carry the repetition through. Holy shit, this is 6 minutes long. I’m going to be honest, I skimmed through this one, and it never changes what it’s doing. This is… a bold play, I’ll give her that, but it absolutely does not pay off. This has gotta be one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a very long time. What the fuck, Ramona?

Finally, 海底 (Seabed). This… is just like Moon, in that it’s a fucked up vocal sample that is looped over and over with little changing instrumental. The key difference is this one is less bad- the vocals aren’t as jilting, the instrumentation is chiller, and it is mercifully only 2 and a bit minutes. It’s far from good, but it’s not as immediately awful. Okay, it is pretty bad. These should probably have stayed as extras- and seeing as they apparently weren’t on the physical versions of the album (in fact a bunch of these songs changed for that), Vektroid appears to agree.

So that’s Floral Shoppe, and it’s really one of those albums that kinda drags on at the end. Frontloaded with the good shit, I suppose. Moon and Seabed aside, it’s not like anything is completely awful, but after 25 or so minutes you’ve kinda gotten the point. With that said, the album is as influential as it is for good reason- the first couple tracks are phenomenal, and once you’re drawn in by those, you’re probably going to appreciate the rest of it at least a little.

Modern vapourwave basically sounds nothing like Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing, or Floral Shoppe at all- the genre has moved past plunderphonics almost entirely at this point, and the aesthetic has shifted to a more consistent, less memeable tone. Even Macintosh Plus is going new directions- the single released in December 2019 as a teaser for Vektroid’s next project under the name sounds nothing like this album, though it is completely fucking awesome (and completely fucking batshit). While it seems like the genre itself has moved past Floral Shoppe, though, it’s still the touchstone the majority of people, especially those unfamiliar with the genre, recognize as the herald of Vapourwave. I’m pretty sure this was the first album to do the whole pink aesthetic, marble bust, computer graphics style, and clearly that’s the style everyone thinks of when they make bad vapourwave art. That’s the aesthetic this album inspired. Long may it reign.

(Ok seriously though guys go listen to VAPERROR or George Clanton or something)

[mammonslefttoe]

One Brain Cell Theories: Chapter 17 & 18

There are a few things that may confirm my suspicions and the new chapters have reinforced it. 

SPOILERS AHEAD, please click at your own risk and any input/more theories are welcome! I’m going to try and make this a series. 

This is also a relatively long read so grab some snacks! We diving in boys!!

(This is one of my many theories. One day, I’ll be able to write down what’s happening in my head.) 

TLDR; HUNNY we have to talk about the other human 

A few things to remember before I dive in: 

Solomon has a pact with Barbatos. Solomon has a ring of wisdom and is known to make a pact with larger and more powerful demons. We all know he lowkey wants a pact with Lucifer. 

Lucifer told us not to trust Solomon in Chapter 2 

There’s a possibility Barbatos has tried to poison us with tea, a Mandragora blend. Mandragora has the potential to be fatal, one of the most notable symptoms are hyperactivity and hallucinations. 

When Barbatos sent us back in time, we found out he is extremely OP. He even has the power to look into the past and future. 

Okay now onwards to the only viable explanation I can think of: Barbatos and Solomon are scheming a takeover. (or this really is a messed up “prove yourself” challenge from Diavolo) 

Let’s begin to when shit started to get real. 

A sorta shortened (?) recap of everything that has happened thus far, please feel free to skip if you don’t need it:  

After almost confessing your love to Lucifer and dying in the process Belphie comes down the stairs and its the big reveal, everyone essentially gasps in shock. Beel, Belph, and MC run away to Luke’s joint only to get busted by Dia & Barbatos and they drag away Belphie to throw him in jail for treason (and its implied he gon’ die). Lost and afraid, Beel and MC run back to the House of Lamentation. There we have a really heartfelt scene with all the demon boys and we are determined to storm into Dia’s castle and solve the situation. 

Arriving at Dia’s castle, the pair say they were expecting us. Lucifer stood up to Diavolo & he says please, LOUD AUDIENCE GASP. No matter how much we try to reason, the only way Belphie will be released is if MC goes back into the past alone and figure out who actually opening Belphie’s door. No reason is truly given to this. Diavolo explains that Barbatos has multiple abilities, some of this includes viewing the past & future and, most importantly, time travel. 

As we continue to Barbatos’ room, he is super happy (and creepy) but gives us a very dire warning - do not interact with the past in any way or it will alternate the current timeline. This includes speaking to anyone or being involved in any type of action. If we want to come back to the present, we have to go through the same door that we end up entering through. Then off we go and we land in the middle of Mammon’s room with ALL OF THE BROTHERS sans Lucifer and Belphie. And things go haywire.

As we are running to go up to the attic, we are forced to hide in Lilith’s room, where we have a flashback (or hallucination) of playing hide and seek. Flashback Levi reminds us to go find Belphie. During this time, it is revealed that MC may have been the one to open Belphie’s door and tldr; Belphie kills MC. 

As we lay dying, we are somehow saved by Lilith (our long lost aunt twice removed apparently) and we are outside of our own body...in another one. Dia and Barbatos stroll in saying they knew this would happen & Barbatos did us a favor and revived us using an alternate timeline MC (what). Everyone is pumped we have like 1/10,000,000 genes related to human Lillith and this is their closure. 

Everything seems to be looking up and MC patches things up between Belphie and the other brothers. They throw her a joint party with Diavolo’s birthday party & give her the sweetest gifts. At the end of Chapter 18, Belphie creates a pact with MC. 

This is all fine and dandy but...is it really? 

A few things really popped out during these two recent chapters: 

Belphie is by our side the entire two chapters. Whether this is supposed to signify a new start or something else, it isn’t entirely clear.

Beel and Belph are the only ones that text us during this time. Belphie texts us after every chapter moment. 

Solomon runs into Belph and MC while shopping, randomly asking Belph if he plans on making a pact with MC. Then brazenly offers to make a pact with him instead. Belph refuses vehemently but looks at MC for a reaction. Solomon notices this. 

As Belph gives us a gift of himself (lol same), he mentions how he’s doing this for us and not because of Lilith. 

In the game itself, there’s a completely different game style. MC has more options to speak and the dialogue options have become more brazen. Almost as if...this is a different personality (or could signify MC is more comfortable with them in general). It felt off playing the last two chapters though, for me at least. 

Now onwards to the theory: Solomon is our main antagonist.

In Chapter 2, we are formally introduced to Solomon, the other exchange student. Although the interaction is rushed, we can sense out two things: he’s insanely smart and he’s already comfortable around demons. As he runs off to class, MC runs into Lucifer and we learn a bit more about this mystery boy. 

Apparently, Solomon is a wizard and has a ring of wisdom, which makes him incredibly dangerous. He has pacts with more than 70 demons (I think the exact number was 78 but I might be wrong). Among these demons are Asmodeus and Barbatos. At the end of Lucifer’s explanation, he adds that MC shouldn’t trust Solomon. 

Historically and culturally, Solomon is most known as the “Wise King.” He is also regarded as a fantastical figure, someone who is known to have powers over both angels and demons. 

“According to the Rabbinical literature, on account of his modest request for wisdom only, Solomon was rewarded with riches and an unprecedented glorious realm, which extended over the upper world inhabited by the angels and over the whole of the terrestrial globe with all its inhabitants, including all the beasts, fowl, and reptiles, as well as the demons and spirits. His control over the demons, spirits, and animals augmented his splendor, the demons bringing him precious stones, besides water from distant countries to irrigate his exotic plants. The beasts and fowl of their own accord entered the kitchen of Solomon's palace, so that they might be used as food for him, and extravagant meals for him were prepared daily by each of his 700 wives and 300 concubines, with the thought that perhaps the king would feast that day in her house.” 

Additionally, he was given a ring, known as the “Seal of Solomon,” which gave him the ability to trap demons under his control. 

A magic ring called the "Seal of Solomon" was supposedly given to Solomon and gave him power over demons or Jinn. The magical symbol said to have been on the Seal of Solomon which made it efficacious is often considered to be the Star of David. Asmodeus, king of demons, was one day, according to the classical Rabbis, captured by Benaiah (my note: Benaiah is a human, he was a soldier that helped Solomon rise to power) using the ring, and was forced to remain in Solomon's service. The Seal of Solomon, in some legends known as the Ring of Aandaleeb, was a highly sought after symbol of power. In several legends, different groups or individuals attempted to steal it or attain it in some manner.

And this is a potential plot in our story.

MC is, of course, the main protagonist of the story. We typically are. But there was never a clear antagonist. Or maybe he was playing along with our situation, a wolf in sheep's clothing? 

We all know Levi’s strangely long anime names are a strange foreshadowing of the future. We have: 

Though all titles seem to have a connection with our current plot, I’m going to focus on the first one, which seems to have the most implications regarding our current situation. I also have a sneaking suspicion that the second image with the two titles might be a backstory for Barbatos but that’s another story that I cannot fully prove yet. The third title also refers to a legend regarding Asmo and Solomon.

The first title seems...has quite obvious implications when recounting the events of chapters 15 - 18. Halfway through our journey, here we are, thrust into an alternate timeline, alone and scared but we end up making a pact with...our sixth demon? And this isn’t just a regular demon, this is one of the deadly sins. So now we have 6/7 demon brothers under our power, some of the most powerful demons in Devildom. It’s alarming how quickly MC is able to gain the trust of these demons, effectively creating pacts in the course of...maybe a few months? 

What alarms me the most is how fast Belphie turned from, quite literally, killing us to making a pact with us in a course of 3 chapters. This brings me to my first suspicion in SoloBarb’s plot: This timeline is the only timeline where MC is able to make a pact with Belphie. All other timelines do not reflect this. This placement was 100% intentional from the start. 

It is a known fact that Barbatos is able to view time and its events. It’s revealed this extends to alternate timelines when saving MC. If he is this powerful, wouldn’t he be able to simply look back in the past and find out who opened Belph’s door without the need for MC? This would be the easiest and most direct solution. 

SIDENOTE: Keep in mind, part of the reason Barbatos could not stop the Belphie situation from happening is due to Diavolo’s restriction. Barbatos states that “Diavolo has forbidden him from using his powers freely.” HOWEVER, it then leads to the question: who really has the most control over Barbatos, Diavolo or Solomon? Traditionally, when pacts are made, it means that the demon is completely under the control of the individual but does it outweigh an authority figure? In my opinion, Solomon technically has the most power fo Barbatos. Solomon’s pact with Barbatos = a magically restrictive bond while Diavolo’s rule over Barbatos = a matter of respect of authority. There is no physically restrictive bond Diavolo has on Barbatos.

Also considering how cunning Solomon is, he could have easily manipulated Diavolo into this entire plan as well.

In addition, Solomon’s strangely direct question, asking Belphie if he was going to make a pact with MC, was alarming. It was as if he was proving his own theory: the demon brothers will make a pact with MC and never him. He seemed almost satisfied with this answer and didn’t seem to protest against it too much. Couple this with Solomon’s constant approval when MC makes pacts with the demon brothers during her stay, its...disconcerting. 

Omg he even says “If you change your mind” what kind of creepy

If we consider all of this, it truly does seem as if Solomon is our potential antagonist. It seems to me that everything is pointing at him. He’s quiet enough for us to overlook and disregard as a side character, though he seems to have a certain unnerving edge to him. My god, the demons are even wary of him. If that wasn’t the biggest tip-off, idk what is. 

Also physically, we have yet to hear his entire backstory in the game or have a chapter dedicated to him. So far, in terms of side characters, we have ample interaction with Diavolo and Luke (still waiting on Simeon) but no deep dives into Solomon and Barbatos. (Which means >.> we’ll get them in later chapters) 

This brings me to the next question: so how is MC a chess piece in his plot? 

Hey, remember that RANDOM moment Solomon lent out his power during Diavolo’s house party. AND NO ONE QUESTIONED IT. Honestly, what the hell was that all about?

In regards to this, why did he do this? Some answers include: he did it for shits and giggles, he wanted to test out the theory of us having powerful magic in our bloodline, or he wanted a test run. Yeah. You heard me. A test run. 

Prior to this, MC was unable to truly summon a demon on their own. The most she could do was give out a pretty strong verbal command and the demon (Mammon lol) must carry it out. However, MC cannot fully utilize the pact’s potential due to her lack of innate magic ability. 

This is both an affirmation and leverage for Solomon’s situation. On one end, it’s confirmed that MC has huge magic potential and can properly use it when needed. On the other end, this can be a bargaining tool for the future...

Which could lead to a large plot development: Once MC gains all seven pacts (c’mon, it is going to be impossible to not make a pact with Lucifer), what will they use it for? 

MY PREDICTION: Solomon will attempt to manipulate MC into his control. Magic is powerful in this game but so are humans. A human was the reason Lilith was going to be punished by God. Solomon, a human, has power and control over 70+ demons. Belphegor was set on destroying only the human world. MC has pacts with the, arguably, the strongest demons in Devildom who are also formerly fallen angels. 

From what I’ve seen so far, nothing is more powerful than a pact. And nothing is more powerful than human manipulation. 

What will he use MC’s powers for? ...I have a sneaking feeling it might be to overthrow Diavolo based on Solomon’s cultural legend. Solomon famously has power over Asmo, the king of demons. Of course, we know the Asmo in our game is not the king but Diavolo is. Obey me! has a funny way of interpreting these legends in a unique way. Who knows if they split up Asmo into two different entities. 

but who tf really knows what’s going on

BUT

I guess we’ll have to see what happens in later chapters. Of course, this is all really a far fetch theory but there seem to be so many underlying connections to Solomon in the game. I mean ffs, he’s the only other human here and he’s SOLOMON. The very character itself is so suspicious. 

THIS ENTIRE THING COULD ALSO BE A MESSED UP CHALLENGE FROM DIAVOLO 

OR SOME CRAZY HALLUCINATION CAUSED BY BARBATOS GIVING US THAT SUS TEA BLEND

But tbh who really knows what’s happening. The only confirmed thing is that we’re still on this alternate timeline (that MC totally messed up) and we haven’t returned to our OG timeline. lucifer please pick me up I’m scared 

If you made it this far, you are SUCH A TROOP. I hope this actually has a consistent flow and it makes sense. If you have any questions or observations I didn’t include please feel free to message me! I’m open to discussion! 

A big s/o to wikipedia for the quick info on Solomon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon#Seal_of_Solomon) and a thank you to @the-orizon​ for the screenshots & amazing info! Love you!

[bywordofaphrodite]

Book Reviews 3&4: Nancy Drew and the Lilac Inn by Carolyn Keene & Trixie Belden and the Secret of the Mansion by Julie Campbell Tatham

This review’s theme is girl detective books ! Audience age range: roughly 12 and up !

Just as Enid Blyton’s books made me fall in love with magical creatures and faraway lands, detective novels became an obsession during late primary school, with classic lead female characters Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden being my absolute favourites. My school had an extremely small and limited library, and the Nancy Drew books were one of the only decent series there- even with a great chunk of the collection missing. My mother introduced me to Trixie Belden, which she insisted was better than Nancy Drew, though I refused to listen to such a declaration at the time.

Now, though? My opinions have definitely changed.

Nostalgic review

Rating: ★★★★★

From memory, Nancy Drew is a clever, beautiful and well-off girl in her late teens, living with her lawyer father Carson Drew and her housekeeper Hannah Gruen, who has looked after Nancy since her mother’s passing when she was only three. I always enjoyed the dynamic between Nancy and her father, as it was similar to mine with my father, also a lawyer- Carson doesn’t step in unless Nancy needs his help, but he does assist in legal advice when necessary. I also loved Nancy’s friendship with the cousins Bess and George, and liked that her relationship with her ‘special friend’ Ned never got in the way of solving mysteries or hanging out with her friends (‘hanging out’ was practically code for sleuthing in these novels anyway). Overall, my memories of this series amount mostly to exciting searches for missing heiresses, finding beautiful jewels and battling crocodiles in Florida.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Trixie Belden- rough-around-the-edges thirteen year-old from a poor family living with both her parents and three brothers. Where Nancy has a housekeeper, lives in an affluent suburban neighbourhood and never wants for money, Trixie lives on the outskirts of a small town, both her parents work, and she is constantly reminded of how important it is to work for money as they do not have much of it to spare on mindless things. Nancy is a fairly solitary character, often working alone unless her friends show up, and even then she does most of the legwork; Trixie is also the main sleuth in her series, but her best friend Honey is almost always at her side. While the mysteries were great, the warm friendships in Trixie Belden novels are what I remember best.

Regardless of whatever my thoughts may be after rereading books from these two series, I’ve never ceased referencing either of them and my love of the mystery genre still holds fast even now.

Nancy Drew and the Lilac Inn Review

Post-read: ★★

Synopsis: girl detective Nancy Drew is called to solve a series of odd goings on at her newly engaged friend Emily’s inn, in what seems to be an attempt to prevent Emily and her fiancé from opening. Disaster strikes when her aunt retrieves Emily’s inheritance of diamonds- Emily’s last hope to cover the costs of fixing up the inn- and they are swiftly stolen within the hour. Nancy vows to catch the thief and the intruder and save Emily’s inn from failure.

I struggled in choosing which Nancy Drew book to reread for this review, and after reading through multiple rankings lists I decided on the Lilac Inn because it ranked highly on every list. I now wish I had just gone with Crocodile Island anyway… at least there was something snappy about it. In between the bomb, the theft, the doppelganger, the underwater fake-shark, the kidnapping, the spear-gun attack- I think I’ve made my point. There’s far too much going on, and if it was well-written I would be okay with it, really I would, but it’s all so blandly articulated that half the time I had to reread just to make sure I’d read correctly what nonsense was occurring at any given time.

Straight out the gate, I just want to say how shocking the writing was- that’s shockingly bad, by the way. If I thought Enid Blyton’s work was stunted, well, this was far, far worse. Especially since it lacks the excuse of being written for young children. It was incredibly difficult to push through in the slower parts, and I must admit I basically skim-read the lead up parts to the action sequences (which were incredibly minimal compared to the gnashing crocodile teeth I longed for, but alas). Sadly for me, Bess (my old fave), George and Ned were not present at all, and I cannot remember if they had actually been introduced that early in the series because they are not mentioned once.

I did really like the concept of the story, and the element of Nancy having a creepy doppelganger posing as Nancy to cause mischief (she has several over the series) was fun, even more so that said doppelganger was an actual actress and quite ruthless in her attempts to steal Emily’s diamonds- I love a morally-corrupt pretty female villain as much as the next person, after all. There is a romance teased between Nancy and a young man staying at the inn, a young man who continuously seems to be in the same room as the diamond thief messing with Emily’s inn, but ultimately both never amount to anything. This hardly surprised me given the book is written in the thirties, and Ned and Nancy never do anything but attend dances together the entire series, but still, come on. He could’ve at least stolen the diamonds to add some spice to his useless appearances.

It’s possible that were a very talented scriptwriter to take this book and make it into a movie it could work out a lot better than it does on paper- provided the casting was done well. The sets would be interesting, and I think the creepiness of the ‘ghost’ in the orchard and the diving scenes would translate a lot better on camera. Normally I’m not one to nominate live actions of novels for no reason, but this thought kept recurring as I struggled to get through the writing.

Characters who aged well: Nancy is smart and weirdly good at everything (they don’t explain why she knows how to do all the things she does, but diving and freeing herself from bonds seems to be easy enough for her. Given male characters are always allowed to be perfect without training, I’ll allow it). For a female character written in the 30s she has plenty of agency and does not once rely on a man’s help to do anything, which is why I always enjoyed her books. Carson Drew also aged well- not present that often, but useful without being interfering, and his trust in his daughter is refreshing. As for the other main characters in the series… they didn’t even show up in this book so I can’t really comment on this.

Characters who aged badly: plot twist- I’m adding Nancy here too. She is a little too perfect, too polished, a common criticism by modern readers, though at the time of publication was her main selling point. Additionally, earlier editions of the series featured racist comments made by Nancy, although those have since been taken out. However, the publisher and creator of the first books was not a very pleasant person, so I find myself able to separate that from Nancy’s character.

Favourite scene/quote: ‘The article went on to tell that Nancy had just completed a course in advanced skin diving in the Muskoka River, and that she had finished first in total points in the twenty student group’.

I find this quote amusing because there is really no need for Nancy to be good at every single thing, and this is a good example of the many times throughout the series that Nancy is the ‘best’ at a very random activity that is often never mentioned again.

As for my favourite scene, though nothing interesting actually ends up happening in the orchard, I did like the eerie setting of Nancy dressing up as a ghost and chilling behind a tree for a while (okay it was partially eerie, mostly just oddly comedic). The actress/impostor posing as Nancy provided a few good scenes, too, but for the main villain of the story she was hardly in as many scenes as she should’ve been in.

After doing some research, I discovered something most interesting: Nancy was written with significantly more character by the original ghost-writer of the series, a woman named Mildred Wirt Benson, who wrote Nancy ‘embodying qualities that she wished she had’- but the publisher Edward Stratemeyer did not want a bold female character, and she was rewritten with similar dialogue but now accompanied with ‘dainty’ verbs to sweeten her words. Stratemeyer was also known for his beliefs that women belonged in the kitchen, and the only reason he created Nancy in the first place was to capitalise on young female readers who wanted their own equivalent of the Hardy Boys.

With all of this in mind, it’s very possible that the Nancy from my memories is a mix of the older and new editions, which allowed Nancy more personality as the series went on, no longer needing to confirm to the sexist expectations of the 1930s. And despite these origins, Nancy Drew aged quite well as an unintended feminist icon: she solves her mysteries alone and rarely needs Ned’s help at all; in fact, most of the time, Nancy is the one doing the saving. It’s nice to think that, almost one hundred years later, Mildred Wirt Benson’s version of Nancy is the one being kept alive, both on paper and onscreen.

Trixie Belden and the Secret of the Mansion Review

Post-read: ★★★★★

Synopsis: energetic teen Trixie Belden’s boring town of Sleepyside is turned upside down when a rich new family moves onto the property opposite her own, an old miser winds up in hospital and his empty mansion is suddenly inhabited by a runaway boy, and a missing fortune is waiting to be uncovered.

Whewww.

This was a massive breath of fresh air after the Lilac Inn! After being so unimpressed by both Blyton and Keene’s writing, Tatham’s writing restored my faith in my childhood judgement. Her words flowed well and the conversation between the characters was very natural. The blank slate characters in the Lilac Inn were showed up by the animated and multiple-dimensional characters in the Secret of the Mansion, and I never once felt the need to rush myself through the chapters.

Unlike my method of choosing a Nancy Drew book, I simply decided on reading the first Trixie book for this review. While I almost went for a later book where all the main characters had been introduced, I couldn’t remember how Trixie first met Honey and Jim, which I felt was pretty important to her character. I’m very glad I did. Even in the first book, Trixie endures so much character development (contrasting very strongly with Nancy’s flawless existence). Longing for a friend, Trixie takes herself up the hill to the newly habited mansion to introduce herself and her little brother Bobby, who she is babysitting to earn money to buy herself a horse. There she meets rich girl Honey Wheeler, a sickly and sheltered but sweet girl of the same age, whose parents pay little attention to her. Things fall into place with all the expected luck of a teen heroine- Honey’s governess is a lovely woman who wants Honey to befriend Trixie and offers to look after Bobby, and of course Honey’s stables are now filled with horses and a stable hand who can teach her to ride.

But for every easy thing comes an opportunity for Trixie to grow: she comes to admire Honey’s bravery after previously being irritated by her fear of trying outdoor activities; she ignores the stable hand’s orders not to ride the stallion and falls as a result, leading to her having to work to regain his trust and also being taught the valuable lesson to recognise her own limits; finally, as much as Trixie hates looking after little Bobby, when he is bitten by a snake Trixie is resourceful and quick on her feet in helping him, keeping him well enough until a doctor and other adults arrive.

Rather like the Lilac Inn, the mystery of the story centres on the hidden will to a supposed fortune of the elderly man who lived in the old mansion not far from Honey’s new home. On a whim, Trixie nags Honey into accompanying her to snoop around the building, leading to their discovery of the old man’s nephew Jim hiding there. By the end of the book, the girls have helped Jim to find the will and safely escape his abusive step-father. Later in the series, Jim is adopted by the Wheeler family, and also becomes Trixie’s primary love interest (I love that this relationship is not at all rushed either).

The reading level for the Trixie Belden series is listed as grade 3 and above, but I had no problems being completely involved and intrigued by the storyline and characters as a twenty-three year old. I think I’ll continue to read the series on my own time, as I always enjoyed the full character line-up developed after a few books in.

Characters who aged well: Trixie! If my praise during this review didn’t make clear enough, she’s a wonderful character with great development. Honey and Jim are also solid characters, and Bobby and Trixie’s parents are well-written too- supportive and kind, but realistic concerning raising Trixie to be a responsible kid. Also going to add that Trixie’s group of best friends- self-named the Bob-Whites of the Glen and consisting of her two older brothers Brian and Mart, Honey, Jim and the later additions of Dan and Di- have a strong presence and very distinct personalities when they show up in the later novels.

Characters who aged badly: nobody! All the side characters were well done, including the villain. He wasn’t over-the-top by any means, his abuse of Jim was both emotion and physical in a realistic manner that concerned the adults around him enough to comment on it without actually taking proper action to help him, as it often goes. I appreciated the author’s ability to write a male character the vulnerable one, to recognise what was wrong about the situation, and to gladly accept help from two girls younger than him.

Favourite scene/quote: “‘serves him right,’ Trixie said, wiping her grimy hands on her rolled-up blue jeans. ‘The mean old miser. You should have left him lying in the driveway, Dad.’”

An earlier quote in the book, this sets the tone for Trixie’s character: she’s messy, no-nonsense and cheeky. For a female character written in 1948 I found this quite amusing. There’s none of the internalised misogyny that often popped up in ‘tomboy’ characters of the time: Trixie just is what she is, and she’s great.

A standout scene would be Trixie sucking the venom from her brother’s snakebite to save him, and the chapters focused on the developing friendship with Honey and Jim while the two teach Trixie how to handle horses is also enjoyable.

Overall verdict:

My mother was right, Trixie Belden is far better than Nancy Drew in every category I can think of. I wish that the series had gained the popularity that Nancy Drew did, because it would make for a fun movie or television show. There is an eighteen year gap between the publication of the first novel from both series, and both heroines saw many more books written after that. Nancy Drew is so persistent, however, that multiple movies and even a recent CW show have been made, though it is not very accurate to the books at all. Even now, modern-day setting Nancy Drew mysteries are still being released under the Carolyn Keene pseudonym, showing her unending mythical status.

I still love Nancy, bad writing and all, but in all fairness, Miss Trixie deserves a cut of the nostalgic hype surrounding the girl-detective genre. I’d also like to bask in the poetic justice of Nancy not only remaining a more iconic character than the Hardy Boys, but also becoming more feminist as time goes on. I’m sure the publisher is rolling in his grave!

[def-initely-soul]

hi there and happy spooky season! 🎃 can I have a smol fic with jimin and the prompts "please don't touch the human remains" & "of course, the graveyard at midnight is super sexy and not creepy, let's go there" from the supernatural list? thank you!!

hey to you too!! of course baby, hope you like it 😊😊

pairing: jimin from bts x reader (f.)

prompts: "please don't touch the human remains" & "of course, the graveyard at midnight is super sexy and not creepy, let's go there"

genre: supernatural au; f2l au; fluff; PG-15

warnings: mature language; suggestive themes

words: 2.1k

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“Come ooooon, we’re gonna miss it and then it won’t work!” you pout at your best friend as you drag him deeper into the dead of night. It’s Halloween, too late for anyone to be out at this hour and you bask in the stillness of the dark. It brings an almost serene smile to your face, knowing you’re about to show your best friend the one thing you could never tell him until recently.

You’re a witch.

Jimin didn’t know, obviously, and you never told him as one young witch should never reveal herself to a human. But just a week ago, he stumbled upon you practising a spell. Not much could be told from your part to convince him it was all fake. Not when he saw you floating.

And now, after escaping an extremely boring Halloween party, you promised him you’d show him your powers one more time. For good measure.

It’s the perfect setting for you; in the middle of the night, under a new moon and on holy grounds.

That’s why you’re headed for the cemetery.

“You know, when I said “of course, the graveyard at midnight is super sexy and not creepy, let's go there”, it was sarcasm, I didn’t actually mean it,” Jimin explains slowly as if talking to a child and you roll your eyes. His ass is so uptight.

“God, you’re such a scaredy-cat, you wanted to see some spell-casting and that’s what you’re gonna get!” you turn to throw a wink to his direction, one that has him choking on whatever smartassery he was about to spew. Satisfied by his lack of response, you begin walking again.

Finally, the graveyard comes into view and you can barely conceal your squeals. You see, you’re not simply gonna perform any kind of spell to make him believe you, no.

You have a plan. A plan which if successful could change your lives.

“Okaaaay, sit here…” you instruct him towards an empty spot between the graves and Jimin’s wide eyes are dancing through the space, shaking ever so slightly as he pierces his lips. Something that really is in contrast with what he’s wearing.

He came as Geralt of Rivia, dressed in a black shirt with the arm, neck and shoulder pieces, the matching vest, gloves and black leather pants. Of course, his blonde hair isn’t long enough as the character’s but it’s just long enough to be gathered in a makeshift bun.

Honestly, he looks mouthwatering and you can’t stop imagining what he’d look without the assembly on the top.

“Hey, wake up,” Jimin snaps his fingers on his face and with slight embarrassment, you realize you were lost in your thoughts. Thoughts about the contents of his torso.

“Right, yeah…” you resume as your eyes fall to your satchel bag, once again urging him to sit down.

Jimin cocks an eyebrow at you, but does as you say nonetheless.

“Okay, so what are you gonna do? Float again?” he jokes but his wavering eyes show you he’s not quite comfortable yet.

So you reach out your hand to cover his palm as his stare returns to you in surprise.

“It’s gonna be fine, okay? I’m here…” you comfort him with a kind smile and his eyes gleam with something before he releases a heavy breath.

He chuckles nervously, drawing his eyes away from you but his hand doesn’t abandon your own. “Okay, yeah…” he replies before taking another breath. “I trust you…” his eyes are once more on you, but they’re steady and certain as his plump lips give you a soft smile.

It’s your turn to swallow down your nerves.

“Good!” you say, entirely too cheery to be considered normal but Jimin doesn’t comment on your demeanour, thankfully. After realizing your hands are still touching you drag yours away quickly, mentally cursing yourself as you turn around to go through your bag for what you need.

“No, wait!” Jimin yelps, the sound too alarming in the calm silence stretching over the cemetery that it makes you jump in your spot. You turn to look at him with furrowed eyebrows and at least he has the decency to appear sorry.

He points his finger behind you and you see you almost let your hand fall through the hole to an open grave.

“Please don't touch the human remains…” he cautions and you giggle at his adorable demeanour. You thought you wouldn’t be able to find him cute and hot at the same time, but well. There’s a first time for everything.

He sends you a deadly glare at your giggle, staring at you through hooded eyes and, yes, cuteness is all gone.

You clear your throat before taking what you need out of your bag and assemble them on the ground between you. You don’t need a cloth for the ritual as the ingredients need to be in touch with sacred ground. You simply begin mixing your oils into a wooden bowl, adding a bit of the earth bellow you and some sage as you recount the spell you’ve come to know by heart.

Jimin’s stare on you is indecipherable, eyes intense and curious as your palms rise above the bowl. Your energy flows through your body, from where it touches the ground, up to your hands and into the bowl, making your hair move on your shoulders even though there’s no wind. Jimin’s eyes gleam as they stare at you in awe but you don’t let his stare distract you.

You recount the spell one more time and then everything is silent.

Which means it worked. 

“What was that?”Jimin asks breathlessly as you take the bowl in your hands and dive your fingers inside to gather some of the concoction to your fingertip.

“It’s a truth salve. It’s used either to reveal occasional health problems by applying it to any part of the body, as a magic detector by applying it on the lids, ears and palms or as a simple lie detector,” you answer him, showing him the thick liquid on your finger. He swallows the lump in his throat as he stares as if bewitched.

“And where do you apply it for it to act as a lie detector…?” he asks cautiously, eyes finding yours immediately and you smirk as you stand on your knees.

“On the mouth…” you almost whisper as you wipe your finger on top of your bottom lip. Jimin’s breaths turn heavy as he watches the movement with the utmost attention, instinctively licking his bottom lip.

“Do you wanna try it…?” you ask innocently.

He nods dazedly.

You drag your knees forward slowly, deliberately as you don’t let your eyes abandon his. Jimin watches your every movement entranced as if he physically cannot take his eyes away from you. Instead, when you crawl on top of him, he makes more room for you, removing his hands from his lap as your legs rest on each side of his own, trapping him beneath you.

Your knees are digging into the ground, your flimsy dress doing very little to ease the pain but you don’t mind at all. Not when the look in Jimin’s eyes only encourages you further, not when his palms are rising to rest on your thighs, dragging your dress in their wake.

You suck in a breath, as your eyes finally rest on his feature that needs the most attention.

His lips are plumpy, soft-looking and shiny, and when he bites his bottom lip in what seems like anticipation, you can’t help the shaky exhale that escapes you.

You gather yourself immediately, gathering more liquid on your fingertip before raising it towards his mouth. Jimin’s eyes seem to ignore the digit, instead focused on you, making your heartbeat rise.

You let your finger rest at the corner of his mouth for a second. And then you drag it slowly, tenderly across his plush bottom lip. His mouth opens slightly to help you but then his tongue peaks out. You can barely see it, just barely, just enough to see the tip of his tongue run across his upper lip.

You swallow down your nerves as you reach the other corner of his mouth and then you drag your finger away.

Now that the salve is applied there’s no reason for you to remain seated on his lap and yet you make no move to abandon the warmth of his body. Jimin doesn’t push you away either and if it’s possible you feel his grip on your thighs tighten.

“Okay, so...” you whisper, momentarily distracted by his lips pressing together as he tastes the salve. “I’ll ask you something you haven’t told me and you’ll be forced to tell me the truth…” you continue and you practically see him bracing himself.

You take a breath.

“Why did you punch Johnny Martin?” you ask quickly, not wanting to ask him something that’ll make him lose his trust in you. He’d told you it was because Johnny Martin picked up a fight with him cause he was drunk, but you didn’t believe him. Because at that time, you and Johnny Martin had just broken up because he was jealous of your friendship with Jimin. You’ve had an inkling it was about that and not some stupid drunken fight.

“He called you a slut because of me,” Jimin replies quickly and he’s eyes widen before he curses, his grip on you tightens.

Your heart makes a funny thing at his answer but you push that feeling aside for later.

“Okay, now that you know that this spell is no joke, I have to tell you something and you can’t, in any way, doubt the sincerity of what I’m about to say…” you say with resolution and severity. Jimin’s brows are knitted in a frown but nonetheless, he nods.

You take a long breath, although if you’re honest with yourself you’d want it to be a longer one.

Okay. It’s now or never.

“I think I’m in love with you. No, scratch, I definitely know I’m in love with you cause I’ve been thinking about you that way ever since we met in high school. And it’s driving me insane when you talk about other girls, or when you kiss other girls because I want to be them but I know I can’t, or I think I can’t? There’s some confusion over it and I really need to hear your thoughts on this so I can finally put my “what if” thoughts to rest,” you say rushedly and out of breath as Jimin stares up at you in shock.

“So…” you catch your breath, eyes wide and full of equal parts dread and hope. “What say you?”

Jimin stares back stunned, eyes glued to yours and blown wide in astoundment. His hands don’t leave your hips though and for some reason that makes the hope grow.

He swallows slowly, and you see the calculations running through his mind.

But then his eyes fall to your lips.

And then his lips do too.

You close your eyes once you feel the gentle touch of his mouth on yours. You abandon the bowl to wrap your arms around his shoulders as his fingers guide you forwards until you’re entirely seated on his lap. His lips are soft on yours, moving tenderly in sync with your own as if you’ve done this a hundred times before. For what you’re certain is that you’ll certainly do it for a hundred times more.

You’d expect his kiss to be rough, judging by your position, but it’s anything but. It’s soft, warm and loving, the way his lips move across yours, the way his tongue swipes at your bottom lip to taste you, the way he moans when your grip on his shoulders tightens.

You want to stay like this forever. To kiss him endlessly until he’s the only thing you can taste.

After a while, he stops to breathlessly rest his forehead against yours as his fingers draw circles on your back. You didn’t even remember them moving, the only thing you felt was his lips.

He opens his eyes to look at you through his eyelashes and then he licks his lips to savour your taste.

“Me too…” he replies softly and it takes all your willpower to not smile like crazy right now. Although judging by his joyous matching smile you’d say you were unsuccessful.

“Now, can we please go somewhere else so we can finish what we started...?” he mumbles, his tone entirely different now as his words sents shivers down your spine while he presses an open-mouthed kiss below your ear.

You smile wickedly at him before you nod.

[mint-yooxgi]

{1} - Obsession

Yandere AU - Part of the EXO Obsession Series

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst

Pairing: EXO OT9 X Reader (with a particular focus on X-EXO)

Words: 3,152

Warnings: This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: One the seventh day of Ficmas, Jackie gave to me~ I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, and are continuing to look forwards to the rest of this series. I do really have a lot planned for it and am really excited to write it! Oh, and if I haven’t mentioned it before, the reader is tall in this series. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, I hope you enjoy!

Previous ~ Next

The six men surrounding you are quick to get into a fighting stance, standing at attention in case something is to happen. They each make sure to take a small step closer towards you for your protection. For whatever reason, the six new variants with their faces all seem to have a particular interest in you.

“What the fuck?” You hear Baekhyun mutter under his breath in slight bewilderment.

“Who are you?” Chanyeol voices, eyes narrowing in particular at the figure that looks the most like himself, pink hair and all.

“We’re you,” his clone replies with a smirk. “Or rather, the better versions of you.”

“Looks like whatever you guys got hit with created them,” you say, brow furrowing as you scan over each one of the new clones. “Spell gone wrong, probably.”

“Looks like it,” Jongdae huffs in agreement, staring down his doppelgänger who has yet to take his eyes off of you.

You share a quick glance with Junmyeon before turning your attention back to the clones.

“What is it that you all want?” Sehun asks, shoulders tense as he aims an arrow at himself.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jongin’s clone grins, a sinister look in his ice blue eyes as they flash briefly over your strike team.

“Considering we haven’t been able to keep our eyes off of her this whole time,” Baekhyun’s clone adds, the corner of his lip tugging upwards as he tilts his head downwards, almost mockingly.

“(Y/n),” all of them speaking at once sends a chill running down your spine as your breath lodges in your throat.

One rule you have on all of your missions is to never refer to each other by your real names. It’s a safety precaution in case an enemy is to escape and possibly track you down. Hearing these clones speak your real name concerns you greatly, considering this means that they know you to some degree. This just makes you wonder, since they are clones of your strike team, does this mean they share the same memories? You swallow.

“What do you want with Viper?” Jongin tenses, voice a near growl.

“God, I always hated having to use that code name,” Junmyeon’s clone sighs exasperatedly. Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice the real Junmyeon tense ever so slightly, causing his clone to smirk. “Oh, did I say something I wasn’t supposed to?”

“Why-“

You get cut off by Junmyeon before you can even finish your question, “you’re not getting anywhere near her.”

“Too late,” a smug voice sounds right by your ear as you feel a pair of hands firmly grasp your waist.

Turning your head, you see Jongin’s clone now right beside you. The striking ice blue hue of his eyes is even more prominent up close, his green hair falling over his forehead as he stares you down. A smirk pulls at his lips as he moves to pull you closer to him.

Sensing the static shift in the air, you know what he’s about to do, and before he can teleport away with you, you elbow him in the neck. However, he manages to dodge your attack. This only causes him to lose his grip on you, teleporting away empty handed.

“Well, that didn’t work,” he grumbles, frown pulling at his features as he stands once again beside the other clones.

“You’re lucky we’re on the same team right now, otherwise I’d cut your hands off for touching her,” Baekhyun’s clone growls out, finally peeling his gaze away from you long enough to glare at Jongin’s clone.

“We need to get her out of here,” Sehun says, briefly making eye contact with Jongin before nodding their heads at one another.

In the next moment, Jongin is taking a step towards you, grabbing your wrist in his hand, and teleporting the two of you back inside the hovercraft. He’s gone as quickly as he came, causing the other three males in the craft to rush over to you.

“Is everything okay?” Kyungsoo asks, concern clear in his voice as he takes in your disheveled state and wide eyes. 

“What happened?” Minseok questions, leading you over to a seat at the side of the craft. “And where are the others?”

“Are you injured?” Yixing begins to look you over for any cuts, scrapes, or bruises.

“We need to get out of here, and soon,” is all that you say, attempting to calm your breathing and clear your head before you dive into an explanation on what has happened. “I’ll explain everything back at the base.”

“What do you need us to do?” Minseok is the first to respond, face morphing into one of understanding.

“I’m not sure how the other’s are going to get out, seeing as Jongin can’t teleport them all at once,” you reply, bringing a hand up to rub at your head. “I’d say we land about two kilometres out with the cloak still on. Their communication gear is broken so I might have to go back in and retrieve them.”

“Is it safe for you to go back?” Yixing voices all of their thoughts, concern clear in his voice.

“I don’t know,” you bite your lip, looking out of the window and down at the warehouse below. Nothing extreme has happened yet, so you’re just hoping that they’re all still okay.

Your eyes narrow slightly as you notice six familiar figures run out of a side entrance. Motioning with your head, you catch the other’s attention, with Yixing soon moving over quickly to land the hovercraft to pick up the rest of your teammates.

Once the craft has touched ground, you’re the first one to meet the six other members of your strike team at the now lowered entrance, concern evident on your features.

“What happened? Are you all okay?” You look each one of them over carefully as they enter the craft, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

“As soon as you left, they got worked up, told us that they’d be back, and then Jongin’s clone teleported them out of there,” Jongdae informs you, causing you to furrow your brow in confusion.

“Wait, he teleported them all?” The confusion is clear as day in your voice.

“Yes,” Jongin grumbles, crossing his arms slightly in front of his chest.

“They didn’t engage, so there’s no way of knowing yet, but we’re assuming that the spell made them slightly stronger than us,” Junmyeon says, a slight edge to his tone as he takes a seat while the hovercraft takes off once more. 

“That doesn’t sound too good, whatever it is,” Kyungsoo replies, flipping a few switches on the control panel.

“No,” Baekhyun mutters. “It most certainly is not.”

“So now that we’re all here, would someone please tell us what’s going on?” Minseok quirks a brow at the seven of you, watching as you all discard your broken transceivers into a pile on the table.

“We managed to kill Shelly,” Sehun informs them.

“She was in the midst of performing some spell, and as soon as she bit the dust, the spell went awol,” Chanyeol adds. “Hit the six of us with this weird, intense, flash of light.”

“Next thing we know, we’re seeing double,” Jongin continues, leaning forwards slightly to rest his elbows on his knees.

“It was like looking into a weird, warped mirror,” Baekhyun nods along.

“You mentioned clones, Jongdae?” Yixing’s voice is heard from the driver’s seat, switching on autopilot as he swivels around in his chair in order to join the conversation fully.

“Yes, they looked exactly like us, and from what we can gather, share everything similar about one another,” Jongdae sighs, running a hand through his hair. “The only thing different about them was that they all seemed to have at least one eye that held an ice blue iris, if not something of that variation.”

“They were also dressed differently, too,” Sehun recalls. “All of them were wearing some sort of leather in a bright colour.”

“Strange,” Kyungsoo hums, leaning back in his seat slightly.

“They all seem to share the same knowledge as we do, as well,” Junmyeon says, somewhat worriedly. “They seemed to all have a common goal, too.”

“Goal? What might that be?” Minseok asks, curiosity peaked.

“Get (Y/n),” Jongin states, jaw clenched. “They even knew her real name.”

“You’re joking,” Yixing gasps, looking towards you for confirmation, of which you nod your head slowly. “Looks like they do share your knowledge, then.”

“Is that all we know so far?” Kyungsoo quirks a brow, looking over at each of you.

“So far,” you breathe, letting out a long puff of air.

“Well, if they know everything we do, and if they have the same skill set as us, then you might not be safe going back to your apartment tonight,” Chanyeol’s gaze locks with yours, his eyes shining with worry.

At this, you quirk a brow, “you and I both know I’m more than capable of handling myself. Besides, I have protective and preventative measures in my security system, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? Maybe one of us should stay with you-“

You cut Junmyeon off before he can even finish his sentence with a harsh glare, “I said, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” At the looks they’re all giving you, you let out a sigh. “Geez, if you’re that worried, feel free to make a schedule and check on me either in the mornings or the evenings, but not both. Only on days where we don’t see each other, too. I like my days off by myself, thank you very much.”

“That’s fine,” Sehun nods, gritting his teeth shortly afterwards.

“As long as we can just make sure you’re okay once in a while,” Jongdae adds, to which you nod your head once while letting out another sigh.

“For now, what should we refer to these variants as? We can’t keep calling them clones,” Baekhyun voices, resting his arms on the table in front of him.

“Well, I mean, we could, but that wouldn’t be very good,” Sehun attempts to lighten the mood, much to the dismay of Junmyeon.

“This is going to sound odd, considering our own code, but what if we just referred to them by our respective codenames?” Chanyeol suggests, causing you to lift a brow in his direction.

“It would be easier to maintain identities that way,” Jongin says, nodding slightly in agreement.

“Sounds good to me,” Jongdae confirms as they all look towards you for the final approval. After all, you are their leader.

“Sure, sure,” you respond. “Though what’ll we do for missions?”

“I know we have the rule against it, but what if we just used our real names,” Junmyeon is quick to answer, biting the inside of his cheek slightly, which you all fail to notice.

“That’s too risky,” you mumble, leaning forward to rest your elbow on the table in front of you. You fail to notice the brief disappointment that flashes behind his eyes. “However, it just might work in this case. For every other mission not concerning these clones, I still want us using the codenames, but for missions involving these variants, real names are to be used so as not to get confused.”

“Understood,” they all reply simultaneously, with a single nod of their heads.

“Now, let’s get back to base, regroup, and fill out the mission reports,” you say, hearing grunts of confirmation come from all of them as you lean back in your seat once more.

Crossing your one leg over the other, you attempt to calm yourself down a bit. Today was not what you were expecting it to be at all. Leaning further back into your seat, you also cross your arms over your chest, zoning out as the men converse around you. In the back of your mind, you begin to think of a plan of attack. The only problem is, you have no idea what to expect.

Yes, you’ve worked with these men for quite a few years now, but these are clones. Besides the occasional sparring match from time to time in recent years, you’ve never had to worry about them being your enemy, or dodging their attacks because they’re after you to this extent. Who knows what their clones are going to be like, especially if they’re slightly stronger than the originals.

After returning to base, filling out the regular mission reports, as well as informing your superiors about what has happened, you’re ready to go home and relax for the evening. Though, you have a feeling your day isn’t over quite yet.

Back when you started this job, your superiors thought it would be a good idea to set you up with two separate living quarters. One that everyone knows about, and the other being your real, private home. 

The guys have all been to your apartment, your home away from home as you like to call it; the apartment of which the company has set up to be your home. Not too many know of your real house, and you want to keep it that way. You just have a feeling that if you go back to your apartment tonight, you’re not going to be alone when you get there.

Just as you’re about to leave the compound for the evening, a voice calling out to you stops you.

“Hey, (Y/n), wait up!” Turning around reveals both Yixing and Minseok heading your way, halting you in your tracks.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” You smile at them faintly, resting your hands on your waist.

“Considering everything that’s happened today, we want to know if it’s okay with you if we drove you home,” Minseok says, the two of them stopping just in front of you once they reach where you’re standing.

You nearly sigh in exasperation, but you opt to bite your lip instead. You know they mean no harm, and are only looking out for your well being, but you aren’t planning on going back to your apartment tonight considering you’re sure those variants will be waiting for you once you arrive. You’re grateful for their concern, though, and with the looks they’re sending you, you would feel awful if you refused.

“Oh, alright, if it makes you feel better,” you sigh, shaking your head slightly as a small chuckle escapes your lips.

“Perfect, let’s go,” Minseok grins at you, looping his arm with yours as he leads you out of the compound, Yixing following close behind.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’d say your closest friends at work would have to be Minseok, Yixing, and Kyungsoo. You love the guys on your strike team, but sometimes they can get a bit much. With the other three, you feel as if you can talk to them a bit more openly; they really seem to understand you, and they listen when you need to rant about one of the others not listening to your orders on a mission.

Sliding into the backseat of Yixing’s car, you allow yourself to relax. You shift yourself so you’re sitting in the middle behind the two front seats, allowing you easier access to talk with the two males sitting upfront.

The whole ride over to your apartment is pretty tame, the three of you cracking jokes and helping to take your mind off of things. To say you’re grateful would be an understatement; you’re glad that they drove you home, despite the feeling of dread creeping up your spine as soon as you see the apartment complex come into view.

Once Yixing puts the car in park, you move to get out of the back seat.

“Thanks for driving me home guys, I appreciate it,” you send them a smile.

“It’s nothing,” Yixing smiles back at you.

“Here, I’ll walk you up,” Minseok’s words nearly have your breath catching in your throat.

“Nah, it’s okay,” you reply, stepping out of the vehicle and closing the door quickly in order to begin walking towards the entrance of your apartment complex.

The sound of a second car door slamming behind you causes you to let out a small huff, Minseok catching up to you in no time.

“I wasn’t giving you an option,” he says cheekily as the two of you make it to the elevators.

The whole ride up to your floor is silent, and you can feel Minseok’s gaze shifting to look over at you every now and then. This only causes you to look at him from out of the corner of your eyes.

“What, is there something on my face?” The corner of your lip tugs upwards as the elevator dings, and the doors opens on your floor.

“Nope,” he replies casually. “Just wondering if you’re going to be okay.”

Making it to your front door, you pull out your keys, causing them to make a slight jingling sound as you unlock your front door.

“Really, Minseok, I’ll be fine,” you assure him, stepping into your apartment. Before he can follow, you’re turning around to lean on your open door, shooting him a smile. “How about this, I’ll call you guys if I need anything, okay?”

He looks like he’s about to protest, but the look you shoot him has his words dying in the back of his throat, “okay.”

“Goodnight, Minseok,” you say, beginning to shut your front door.

“(Y/n)?” His voice halts your movements, and you notice him looking down at his shoes.

“Yes?” You quirk a brow as he raises his head to lock gazes with you.

“Be safe,” with a final nod, he’s heading back down the hallway and towards the elevators.

A faint smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you shut the front door. You find it very sweet of him to be this concerned for you, even though you both know you can take care of yourself.

Now, to face what you’ve been dreading this entire evening.

Letting out a sigh, you turn around, staring into your dark apartment and listening for any signs of movement, none of which you hear at the moment. Well, if they are clones of your strike team, it would be hard for any normal person to sense them in the apartment. However, this is your apartment, and you. You know them better than anyone else, or at least, that’s what you’d like to think.

“Alright, I know you’re there,” your voice cuts through the tense silence of your apartment. “There’s no use in hiding any longer.”

A few moments pass by with nothing out of the ordinary happening, until your lights are flicked on to reveal the six variants sitting in your living room. All of them wear smug grins on their faces, eyes fixated solely on you once more.

[katybaby00]

Guys my age

Alpha!Sam x Omega!Chunky!Reader 

Warnings: Child abuse, if you’re sensitive to that please skip ahead. Body image issues. ABO dynamics. Smut (obviously). Mating. Claiming. Angst (from the reader). Dub-con. Moc. Daddy kink from the reader. I think that’s it! 

A/N: This is my first A/B/O. Be kind. Constructive criticism is always welcome! I listened to Guys my age by Hey Violet on repeat. So feel free to listen to that song when it shows up in here. Enjoy my loves! 

Beta’d by: @anawkwardartistandgamer 

“Y/n! Get your ass down here!” Your foster mother shouted up the stairs. “Coming!” You place your journal down onto your nightstand and close your bedroom door softly, she hates when I close it loud. You make your way down the stairs, and as you reach the bottom the hateful beta woman looks up at you. Pulls you the rest of the way down the stairs and backhands your right cheek and it starts to flare up to red. “I thought I told you to take out the garbage?” She stares at you, face beet red. If she was any more red you thought she might have steam coming out of her ears, you giggle at the thought. She seethes and she starts  smacking you, across your mouth busting your upper lip open. Then, with her right hand she busts your eyebrow open. You tumble on to the floor and she starts kicking and punching you. Your upper body, torso, and legs. You’re starting to feel your vision go fuzzy and darken at the corner of your eyes. She grabs you by your hair and drags you down the hallway, opens the creepy basement door, and then throws you down and locks it. As you tumble down the stairs an exposed nail slices into your waist and starts bleeding. As your body hits the last few steps your head smacks off of the support beam and your world goes black. 

You wake up in the hospital with your social worker Maria. You and her have been through a lot together. This wouldn’t be the first time she has found you at the hospital covered in bruises and stitches. She is an amazing person and I am very grateful for her. “Maria? Maria, where am I?” She is startled that you’re talking. “Y/n, you have been in the hospital for 5 weeks. The doctors said that you were in a coma. But a very slight one, you didn’t hit your head hard enough to do major damage. And the cut on your waist is stitched up. You needed 7 stitches. While your foster mother was beating you the neighbors heard you screaming and called the police. She won’t ever touch or see you again. I promise. In the meantime you need to get your rest and I will talk to the doctor about your release papers.” That was a massive relief to hear her say that. But you were tired of always jumping from home to home. Never knowing when you would get a good or bad one. You look at her, “Nobody wants a 15 year old, Maria. Nobody would ever want me anyway. I mean look at me. I’m fat. Stretch marks. Cellulite. In places I didn’t even think possible. I’m disgusting!  And in 3 years I’ll figure out if I’m going to be alpha, beta, or omega. I’ll probably be a beta. Nobody would want to be with me if I was an omega anyway! Just let me go. Let me leave, you can say that I ran away. But please, don’t look for me.” Crying into your hands. Maria sets her hands on your leg. “Y/n, I know that things are hard right now. Nothing seems to not be going the way you had hoped, and I understand that. I really do. I want to help you. So I’m going to go talk to the doctor. I’ll see you later.” She squeezes your hand. Getting up she walks towards the door and before she leaves she looks over her shoulder and gives you a knowing smile. You cried because she was the only real friend you ever knew. I will miss her more than anything. 

2 years later and you were better than ever slipping from couch to couch in your friends’ homes, hitchhiking, and hustling pool in your free time at dive bars. You had run into a couple who said they hunted things, you assumed it was like wild game, and wanted to see what they would be hunting. So you decided that one night you would follow them and see what it was. Big mistake. You found yourself tied with your hands above your head on a meat hook in an abandoned warehouse with an IV in your arm. ‘Great.’ You thought as you tried to free your hands. Luckily you were rescued by Eva and Dave, who explained to you that what you did was very stupid and you shouldn’t just follow strangers places. And blah blah blah. You convinced them to take you under their wing and teach you everything they knew about the ‘“hunting life” as they called it. So off you went. Killing demons, djinn, witches, and even dragons. For the next year. Then came your 18th birthday. The day you had been dreading since the hospital. “Eva? What if I’m an omega? What if I’m an alpha? How will I even know what I am?” She just laughs and rubs your shoulders. “I knew almost instantly that I was an omega. So did every omega in my family. I have no doubt in my mind that you will know almost immediately. Even Dave said he knew almost instantly that he was an alpha. You will be just fine. You have like 5 minutes until it's midnight. Then you’ll know. Trust me.” You sat back on the creaky couch of their family cabin and chewed your nails. 4 minutes. 3 minutes. 2 minutes. 1 minute. “What if I’m an omega? How am I going to get threw my heats and how am-`” ''Listen to me,” she cut you off. “I got scent blockers, pills, and everything you will need to get you through this m’kay? You are going to be just fine.” Midnight struck. “I don’t actually feel anything. Maybe I’m a beta. God i was really hop-” and just like that a gut wrenching cramp punched through your stomach and you doubled over in pain. Your body heating up like you just stepped into a sauna. Sweat started rolling down your forehead and you felt the urge to clench your legs together. “Dave, honey, why don’t you go take a drive or stay at a motel. Just to make things more comfortable for Y/n. Okay? I don’t think she needs to be around an alpha this early.” He walks over to Eva and kisses her cheek then walks out the door. “Eva! Oh my god. Why does this hurt so bad? It feels like my insides are going to come apart.” “Sh, honey I know the first one is sometimes the hardest. You just have to get yourself through it. Unless you want me to go pick some guy-” “Absolutely not Eva don’t you even think about it!” You shouted as you doubled over again and you could feel the slick soak your underwear.

Two years later you had gotten it under control. You could feel when one was coming on and you avoided alphas at all costs. Or at least as much as you could. Eva and Dave decided that you knew enough to hunt on your own and you agreed. They didn’t like you being an unmated omega hunting alone but they also knew that they couldn’t stop you either. So here you sat in Kansas City, Kansas at some bar with too many college kids. You looked older than 20 so the bouncers never questioned it. As it turns out, a ghost had been messing with some fraternities and here you are. You took care of it, in and out. Simple salt and burn.You sat down at the bar determined to maybe find a beta or shy alpha, hopefully. You could feel your heat coming, but it wasn’t close enough to draw attention to you. After all, never having a knot, your options were limited. 2 hours and many shots later you were about to give up when you heard the song that made your body come to life start to play. Mainly because it was true. You had always dated older men, then when you tried to date someone younger it ended in disaster. So you stuck with the silver foxes and 25 plus men. You tossed your flanel to the side wearing a tank top and short shorts with combat boots. The bass of the speakers in your chest and how it swarmed your body, it felt like you were flying. The endorphins that flooded your system and how high the song was making you. Plus the amount of shots you had, dancing around this many good looking people, you didn’t have a care in the world. That was until you could feel eyes on you. You noticed your suppressant cream was starting to come off. So you ran towards the exit and practically knocked over an extremely large man with shaggy brown hair. As soon as you hit him it was like hitting a wall of arousal, he smelled amazing. Like sandalwood, whiskey, and old books. Shit. “Hey. Woah, easy there. Why are you run-“ he took a deep breath in through his nose and took a step back. “You’re an omega.” He grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd of people out of the bar and into the parking lot, dragging you behind him. “Hey! Stop! Wait! God, alpha’s never fucking listen!” Even though He was dragging you through the crowd of people his grip wasn’t too tight. He held your wrist with such care. You could tell that there is more to this man that meets the eye. You shouted and yanked your arm away, he turned to look at you. “Ah, no. Not God. His name is actually Chuck and he’s a douche.” You give him a bewildered look, “What? You know what, I don’t care. Look I don’t even know who you are! What makes you think I’m just going to leave with you?” The way he looked at you held something more. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. Like an instinct that you had to follow, that you needed to follow. His eyebrows shot up and he gave you an apologetic look. “Oh right, I probably should’ve started with that. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want anyone else to smell you. I have been waiting a long ass time to find you. I never thought I would, but you were dancing, and I caught your scent and I couldn’t help but stare and then you bolted out and ran into me. I’m sorry.” You look up at the man. “What’s your name?” “I probably should have started with that. My name is Sam. Sam Winchester.” You scoff. “There is no way. The Winchester’s are a myth. There is also no way, out of all of these people in the world, you “Sam Winchester” is my alpha there’s no way!” You start to laugh then. “This is crazy. You guys are obviously fucking with me…” Sam just looks at you. “Listen I know this is crazy. Believe me, we are obviously not a myth if we’re standing right in front of you. I’m Sam.” You take a step back and put your hands to your temples. There is no fucking way that this is happening! Cursing yourself. “Okay… you are definitely going to have to prove it to me. Because I have only ever heard stories, not that you are actually living and breathing. You are way too hot to be the Winchester’s. They sounded so burly and rough. Not big, sexy, strong… alpha’s.” You start to trail off and your stomach cramps and your panties grow damp. Sam shoots forward and wraps you in his arms and purrs. His instincts took over. He sniffs your hair and nuzzles his face into your neck. Sam clears his throat and let’s you go. “Sorry. I just, yeah.” You smile up at the alpha “It’s okay. We should probably get to know each other before you just fuck me senseless huh?” Sam sucks in a breath and coughs. That’s when Dean walks up. His eyes get wide when he hears what you said. Dean looks over at you and laughs, “Let’s get back to the motel and get some liquid courage. We can take my baby.” “That's a great idea. I didn’t drive here, I walked.” Sam turns to you and grabs your shoulders, “You walked?! Are you crazy? You’re an unclaimed omega walking to a bar at night. That is irresponsible and dangerous.” You chuckle and reach into your boot and pull out a silver blade and twirl it in your fingers. “Down boy. I got this covered.” You pat his chest and brush past him towards the impala. Sam jogs up behind you, “So what’s your name?” “Oh right. It’s Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n.” Later that night. You and Sam are by the impala and you’re sitting on the trunk, with your hands behind you and legs swinging off the edge admiring the stars while Dean got the beer and whiskey. Sam clears his throat and finally speaks, “So I never asked how old you were.” You look at him and clear your throat. Dreading his reaction. “I’d like to know your age first. Just to see how much younger I am.” You give him a slight nudge on the shoulder and your hand lingers for a while. “I’m 33.” Your eyes shoot open and you sit up straight looking at him. Your cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. Sam must have noticed. “Sam. I- um. I’m 20.”  His eyes get as wide as saucers. “Oh. I knew you were young but I didn't know you were that young. I just assumed that you were at least 21 to be in a bar.” You sigh and jump down off the trunk. “Yeah I figured that would be your reaction. I mean look at me.” You say gesturing to yourself. He looks at you and raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” You scoff, “Oh come on Sam. Don’t tell me you don’t see it, I’m not stupid. I’m 13 years younger than you and I’m fat Sam. Stretch marks, baby face, cellulite,daddy and mommy issues, and too much skin in all the wrong places. That’s the reason I've never had an alpha or anyone else for that matter. Who would want to knot someone like me? And I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want to either.” You drop your head and kick the rocks by your feet, letting a tear run down your cheek. He takes his hand and lifts your chin up with his index finger and rubs your jaw with his thumb. “Y/n do you really think that because of your weight and age that I wouldn't love you. You’re my omega. Nothing can change that. Not any stupid number on a scale or of you’re 20. I have waited so long to find you, and now here you are. I didn’t know that it was that young.” You give Sam a small smile and he wraps you in a tight hug. “Yeah you’re right.” Sam holds you tight and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. 

“When we get to the motel can we see if they have another room. I want to wash this awful smelling cream off of me. If that’s okay?” He smiles and holds you tighter. “Of course it is.” Sam puts his arm around you and pulls you closer. You see Dean coming out of the gas station with a big goofy grin on his face. Sam takes notice and laughs. He nudges you and nods to Dean,  “That’s his ‘I’m getting laid tonight face’. ''It's pretty funny.” You giggle and look at Dean, “He has a face for that?” Dean gets to the gas pumps and gives you a smile and says, “Looks like we’re getting separate rooms tonight.” Sam laughs and turns to look at you.  “Oh yeah he has a face for everything.” Getting into the impala and heading back to the motel you lean up front in between the boys, “Hey Dean? Do you mind if I play a song?” He chuckles and looks back at you and then to the road. “Sweetheart this has a cassette player. Not an aux cord thingy. Besides, the driver picks the music, and shotgun shuts his cake hole.” You laugh and reach into your bag and pull out a “Hey Violet” cassette tape. “You never said anything about the backseat. Here. Play this. Number 4. Just do me a favor and let it play. It’s my favorite song.” as the song floods the speakers Dean groans. “This girly shit?” “Shh. Listen. Sam, you too.” Sam looks over his shoulder and gives you a knowing side smile. “So you like older guys huh?” Dean says as he looks in the rear view. “Dean, will you please listen. It’s actually a really good song. You might learn a thing or two.” As the song flows through the speakers and through your veins. You can’t help but stare at the back of Sam’s head thinking about running your fingers through it and tugging. Your body heats up at the intrusive thought and you can feel slick coat your underwear. Making you nervous with two alphas in the car. Sam’s shoulders straighten first and he lets out a low growl. Dean runs his hand over his face and adjusts himself in his pants without Sam knowing. Pulling into the motel Dean gets out and goes into the office to grab another room. Sam turns around and wraps his massive hand around the back of your head and pulls you towards him with a smile on his face. His eyes flicker to your lips and back up to your eyes. He kisses you, slow and soft. It feels like he’s pouring everything he’s feeling into that one kiss. You hum into the kiss. Dean opens the door and throws Sam the room key and heads to the trunk to get your bags. “Hey guys I’m just going to run to the room I had here and grab my bag and stuff. I’ll be right back.” 

After you grab your stuff from your old room and walk to the office to return your key, you walk into the room and see that he has put your bag and his onto the bed. So you grab your bag and pull open the zipper, then an idea hits you and the little light bulb above your head flips on.  You grab some pajamas and make your way over to the bathroom. Upon opening the door you don’t think Sam notices you. So you continue with your plan. Taking off your top then your boots, socks, shorts, bra, and finally you slowly slide your underwear down your legs making sure to bend over just in case you have an audience. You slip into the shower right behind Sam and wrap your arms around his middle. He jumps slightly and then relaxes when he catches your scent. He wishes you would hurry and rinse that cream off so he could scent you better. “Are we crazy for doing this?” He chuckles and smiles before turning around. “Y/n I think that we would be crazy not to do this. You’re my true mate. And I'm yours. There’s no denying it. I just wish I could have found you sooner.” Your heart flutters at his words. In one swift motion you reach behind his head and pull him into a bruising kiss. Teeth and tongues working together to please the other. Sam growls low in his throat and you can feel it reverberated into your chest making your omega instincts crave his touch. Pushing into him more he stops you with a hand on your chest. “‘Mega please wash that god awful cream away so I can scent you. It smells so bad. I want the real you.” You giggle and grab the body wash. “Yes alpha.” he shivers at the title and pulls your body against his front. You can feel his cock get rock hard. You can feel the slick of yourself run down your legs. “S-Sam. Please, I want you so bad.” He pulls you closer, if that’s even possible and he kisses and nips at your shoulders. Trying your best to scrub the cream off you finally finish with no help from Sam. 

You quickly step out of the shower and grab the nearest towel and dry off quickly. Sam followed close behind. After you are completely dried off you go and before you can get some shorts and a sleep shirt on. Sam reaches you and spins you around and kisses you. Making you stumble backwards on to the bed. “Present for me omega. Present for your alpha.” Climbing onto the bed you can’t help but let out a whine. Sam grabs his cock and he gives it a few pumps. As you get positioned you can feel Sam’s eyes on your round ass. He’s looking at the way your back arches for his and how dripping wet your pussy looks. “Good girl omega. Such a pretty pussy.” You come down lower to the bed chest flat against it and arms resting by your head. You don’t start getting nervous until the bed dips, which Sam can sense. “Hey baby, you’re doing so good right now. Look so perfect for me. I promise I’m going to be gentle. I’m going to be so fucking gentle.” he says while he sinks a finger into you. He slides his finger in and out slowly before adding another, which makes you gasp. “It stings a little.” “Yeah baby girl it’s going to. I just have to open you up or it’s going to really hurt and I don’t want to hurt you.” So you relax completely trusting your alpha. He glides his fingers in and out and then he makes a come hither motion and you moan, loud. Loud enough for the whole motel to hear. He keeps going and you’re a panting and moaning mess. You can feel the smirk on Sam’s lips watching you come undone for him. “That’s it ‘mega. Cum on my fingers.” That’s all it took to send you crashing over the edge. “Oh fuck! Shit shit shit. Oh god Sam.” clenching around his fingers you can feel your juices run down the inside of your thighs and you let out a shaky breath. Sam slides his fingers out of you and leans over your body, “I’m not done with you yet omega.”  he smirks and pulls your hips higher and closer to his body and you can feel his cock prod at your entrance. The only thing you want to do is relax for him. He pumps himself a few times and takes the head of his cock and brushes it along your folds, gathering your wetness. “So wet for me baby. So beautiful.” You wiggle and push back against him, causing him to grunt. He sinks the head of his cock into you. Making your eyes pop open and a hiss coming from you. “Sam that’s too much.” “Baby if you don’t relax it’s going to hurt,” he pushes into you slowly, inch by inch, “you’re doing so good,” he keeps going until he bottoms out, “fuck. You are so fucking tight. So fucking perfect for your alpha. Are you okay?” You push back against him trying to get some sort of movement out of him and he grabs you by your throat and pulls you back against his chest. “You’re such a needy little omega aren’t you?” Lost in the moment you reply, “Yes daddy.” You freeze. Sam freezes. Neither of you move for a couple seconds. “What did you just call me?” You take a deep breath. “Sam I’m sorry. I didn’t me-” he slaps his hand over your mouth and bites down on to your neck making you push back into him. He leans down and whispers into your ear, “Say. It. Again.” He enunciated every word. This sent shivers down your spine making you whimper into his hand. As he let his hand fall back to your throat you cry out, “Oh fuck. Please fucking move. You’re killing me. Please daddy?” “Good girl.” He pulls almost all the way out and then snaps his hips forward sending your chest to the bed and a scream to rip from your throat. He grunts out loud and moans at the angle he’s at. Setting a maddening pace that makes you see stars. The coil just keeps getting tighter and tighter the more he fucks you into the mattress. Then he pushes your back down towards the bed with your ass in the air and he hits that sweet spot, “Oh my god. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His name came out in screams like a song that's stuck in your head. You cum around his thick cock and you can feel his knot starting to catch inside your tight walls. He starts fucking your faster and you can feel his hips falter, “Oh fuck Y/n. I’m gonna cum.” And with that his knot catches and you can feel his teeth sink into your neck claiming you forever. He coats the inside of your walls, rope and rope of cum filling your belly. Sam leans over and kisses your shoulder, making sure to lick at his fresh mark. He rolls you both over waiting for his knot to soften. “Y/n. I am so glad that I finally found you.” You take his large hand and hold it in your much smaller hand. “Me too alpha.”