#that's an issue for you and for your understanding of your faith

[spolew]

honestly yeah. I literally do not fucking care if you do your schoolwork or not. Not my business, bc you didn’t necessarily choose to have to do that work.

I do believe that a lot of society *would* use ai in bad faith just to avoid understanding the point of schooling, but honestly, is that a bad thing? If it is, it’s a systemic issue, and not the AI’s problem. if it isn’t, it’s because school is constructed without the interests of its *purported* principles in mind anyway, and thus *it’s the same systemic issue. anyway!*

I think that you can go as deep as you can bear on any argument against LLMs, but seriously seriously consider the systemic issues underpinning these behaviors we see as wrong. Most of the time, the person you’re criticizing can’t even BE implicated for any part of the issue *until the system is improved.*

And at the end of the day, art is a system that cannot be improved. It will always be short of any vision of its true meaning, always be constrained in its definition by media and tool design, always factor out the ability and purpose and ideas of its source… none of this matters. This entire issue misunderstands the nature of art for some sacred thing; it’s not. It’s not even strictly defined. Art is humanity’s most tenuous social construct, and we have confused that ambiguity for the influence of some higher thought or power. Whether you call it “AI” or “LLM” doesn’t matter, and whether you call it a tool or an artist in itself doesn’t matter; it’s all pointless.

Everything you argue can and will be extrapolated until it is apparent that it isn’t an actual discussion, and that your argument is predicated on the same manufacture that produces all the other unfounded things in your life. It is a fundamental lack of depth, it is hyper-reality that you have failed to respect as unreal.

Art is a simplification of thought, compression of abstraction until it takes form in our space and our time.

Art is the highest purpose we can serve, and the most pointless thing of all.

It’s fucked up and really cool and really shit and really good. Ask anyone. They’ll tell you it’s true. Ask John Art and he will tell you all of these things at once, and more!

we dont have *un* John Art. He’s not In The Room with Us. There you go. We are arguing and arguing… “who will find the answer?” everyone wonders, “what should I believe?”

I don’t think this issue is of belief. Everything falls apart. Everything is totally fucking nothing. It could be just as worth it to die in 1 second as it would be to live forever. Who fucking cares. What you need to worry about, my loves, is who is stopping you?

It’s always *those* fucks. yeeees… focus on the class war ooooughhh… focus on the corporatism…. let the revolution flow through you and stuff… ooooguhhhhhmggghh………

The thing you need to “shut up and do” is not to “fix the AI problem,” it is always always always “fix yourself” followed by “fix your loves” followed by “fuck fascism!”

ugh. And knowing myself barely enough to maintain Absolute Terror regarding anything at all, it’s about…. 101% probable that none of *this* argument I’ve just spend an hour typing is meaningful either. I don’t even know what I’m talking about… how does it always end up like this?

Reality will never collimate into a definite shape. I cannot comprehend anything in faith.

Honestly, y'all, I'm begging you. Take the time to think and learn for yourself. Even if it's just something casual like knitting or cooking. Exercise your brain. It's important.

[pjmmania]

If Snow Decides to Fall

10. “We’re out of time.”

Author's Note: Chapter 10! Fitting, since it feels like this took a decade to get finished! If you don’t like drama, don’t read this one ;)

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, medical drama

Taglist: @marihoneywk @amarawayne @chimmy-licious

Back to Chapter Index

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The middle-aged woman was scandalized to have learned what had been going on since she last saw her daughter. It almost didn't sound real. One gut punch after the other, and she'd only been there about an hour.

"I don't know what to say," she said, "I don't know how you've both managed."

Jimin answered, "We keep each other as sane."

Your mother was flabbergasted, "I still find this whole thing troubling. And as her mother, I can't say there aren't parts of this that I regret for her."

The younger man nodded, stained with an uneasy chagrin. His tone was meek, and he couldn't even look her in the eye as he tried to keep his voice from breaking, "I know. I understand, and I ask for your forgiveness. I'm aware that for her, a relationship with a different man would be a lot less complicated. I have watched her struggle so much over the past five, almost six months. Your daughter really is the strongest person I've ever known. The way she deals with this with so much grace..."

She seemed to agree with him, "I regret that she has to keep so many secrets and that the distress has manifested physically. Her poor body is already going through so much. But I no longer regret that she chose you."

Jimin looked across the room at her like a puppy, disoriented.

She offered him a weak yet authentic smile, "You love her in a way a mother can only dream someone will love her little girl. I could see it the first time I was here, but I will admit, I wasn't pleased by it. Now I am glad she has you. Maybe not your career, and everything troubling that has stemmed from it, but you, as a person."

"Thank you," he let out a sigh of relief, "I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that. Am I to assume that he doesn’t feel the same, given he didn’t come with you?”

“My husband? Sadly yes. He’s…having a bit more trouble now that this rumor has spread.”

Jimin gulped, scared of the answer to the question he was about to ask, “Does he believe it?”

The woman sighed, thinking of a way to frame it non-combatively, “He needs some more time. I still have faith he will come around, as I have. As a father, I’m afraid that this news has only deepened his mistrust for now. When I return home I will share my thoughts with him. That will help.”

He nodded, “I get it.”

"So what happens next? Surely, there must be a way to get this rumor to go away, or punish this Seoyeon woman."

He twiddled his thumbs, "Well, no one can say for sure if she's the source in the story. It's still just speculation, but it seems probable. For now, Management is releasing a statement of denial."

"Do you think that will do the trick?"

Jimin shrugged, “I’m reluctant to assure you it will, but I feel good about it. For the company to take a firm stance on such a serious issue will hopefully persuade many people that the story is false. If I was the father of that child and the company lied about it, then they could be held liable for that in court.”

“I see,” her eyes carried a sense of dread, “Will this go to court?”

“Again, it’s hard to say. I hope not. That’s the last thing we all need.”

Your mother digested it, “Then it’s probably best we don’t let our minds go there just yet. We have enough going on in the present.”

Jimin concurred, “Yeah.”

Then a pause ensued. Feeling awkward once more, your boyfriend rose from his seat, “Can I get you anything? Sorry, it was rude of me not to ask earlier.”

“Oh, yes. Some water would be great. Thank you.”

He padded off into the kitchen to fix two glasses of water. He also peered into the pantry to grab a box of those cookies he always kept stocked. His sweet tooth wasn’t necessarily in play this time. He just needed something to mindlessly chew on, and he thought he’d offer to share them.

When he handed your mother her water, he showed her the box, “Want any?”

She smiled, “Those happen to be my guilty pleasure. Yes, please.”

“I’ll set them in the coffee table then,” he chuckled, “They’re my favorites too. I’ve been buying them like crazy nowadays. Y/N’s developed an affinity for them.”

“Ah,” she sighed, taking a cookie from the box, “That would make sense. I had a terrible sugar addiction when I was pregnant with her. They say mothers and daughters experience pregnancy in similar ways.”

“Really? That sounds like an old wive’s tale.”

She shrugged, “Could be, but every now and then those reign true. They also say that a sweet tooth during pregnancy means you’re having a girl, and I had one.”

Jimin couldn’t hold his laugh after swigging down some water, “I’ll make sure I mention that to her.”

Though glad this meeting was somewhat positive, he had to wonder how you’d react when you came home.

“Thank you guys for doing this.” you said before shoveling a mouthful of heukmi in.

The small group of fellow girlfriends nodded. Hana smiled, “Of course. Figured this would be a good time to talk.”

She was the one to reach out to you and invite you to lunch. You were in a small cafe located not too far from work.

Aejun and Yunhee gave you sympathetic looks. The three women were gutted for you.

“How are you both holding up?” Yunhee asked with detectable hesitation. She didn’t want to upset you more than you already had been.

“The best we can,” you answered honestly, “I take comfort in knowing that the company will work hard to disprove it. But I wish I stayed home today. I’m worried for Jimin.”

You’d been thinking of him most of the day, wondering if he was going stir crazy cooped up in the apartment.

“He doesn’t deserve this. I can’t imagine the kind of pressure he’s under.” remarked Hana.

“What do you need from us?” Aejun asked, “I mean, is there anything we can do?”

“Your friendship means more than anything. Seriously, I know we just met, but you three are the only peers I have. My parents don’t speak to me anymore, and I have a friend in my coworker, Chaeyoung, but I can’t tell her for obvious reasons. You guys are it for me.” you laughed a little, though there was little humor to be felt.

“Hey, three is all you need,” Yunhee beamed, “We are all in the same boat. We have coworkers and other friends that we can’t share this part of our lives with.”

“The scary thing is that someday soon, everyone will know about this part of my life.” you said.

Hana, sitting next to you in the booth, scooted and warmly nudged you, “Yeah, and you’ll have an adorable little baby.”

You began to smile wider. Their positivity was a godsend.

“Oh,” suddenly Aejun became alert as she looked down at her phone, mindful to keep her volume appropriately low, “They just released the statement.”

You inhaled deeply, as if to try to make your peace with it before hearing it. In this brief moment of anxiety, you felt a rush of dizziness return. It faded quickly as you took another subtle deep breath, luckily.

“What does it say?” Yunhee asked.

Aejun looked at you cautiously, “Is it alright if I read it?”

You hummed, giving her permission that she really didn’t need.

Reading from the company’s social post, she began:

“Hello, this is BigHit Music. This is a statement clarifying our position on a recent publication about BTS member Jimin. This article reports that Jimin has fathered a child, but this is unequivocally false. The woman at the center of the report is confirmed to be married. Therefore, to claim that he is the father of her child is deeply insulting to his character and integrity. We are currently investigating into the source of this libelous report, and will take legal action if it becomes necessary to prove our artist’s noninvolvement. Thank you.”

Hana tried to assure you by saying, “That’s a strong start.”

To your surprise, you were actually happy with how it turned out, “Yeah, it’s pretty good.”

“I think it will convince a lot of people that he has nothing to do with her,” said Yunhee as she sipped on an iced tea through a black plastic straw, “Especially those who are on the fence.”

You nodded, taking a sip of your ice water, “I hope you’re right. I take some comfort in knowing that they probably let Jimin approve it beforehand. If he’s satisfied with it, then so am I.”

As a foursome, you went about eating more of the food in front of you, mindful of the time, as you all had to go back to work eventually.

“In other news, the Black Swan video looks awesome,” Hana grinned, “Thanks for dressing our guys well.”

Another gut twist. You’d completely forgotten that it was due for release around this time. Sanghee had to have mentioned the release date to you at some point, but it must have gone in one ear and out the other.

You put a hand to your forehead, “What timing…”

Aejun giggled, “It seems that slipped your mind. No one could blame you.”

You appeared dumbfounded at yourself, “I don’t know how, but it did. Oh God, I hope it’s being received well, given everything else that’s going on.”

You were worried for Jimin, praying that he wasn’t receiving more hate on their own channel.

Hana assured, “When I watched it, there were a few comments questioning why they’d put it out now, but most comments were pretty typical.”

Aejun, with her dry wit, said, “You know, the thousands of strangers saying hot our boyfriends are.”

“Yeah, so don’t worry. Jimin isn’t being ripped apart on his own music video.” agreed Hana.

You breathed a sigh of relief, “Good. I just hope it stays that way.”

There was a brief, comfortable pause as each of you pondered the situation at hand.

“So basically social media is a BTS wormhole right now.” laughed Yunhee.

Then Hana and Aejun started to laugh too. Their energy being too delightful and infectious, you permitted yourself to laugh along. Sometimes, there was just nothing else to do. Your body needed that rush of endorphins, no matter how short-lived.

The four of you laughed until your stomachs hurt.

There was nothing you longed for more than the sanctuary of his arms. You’d received your daily helping of heartburn after lunch, as well as a tiny bit of back pain.

When you walked into your home, you slipped off your shoes and carelessly dropped your bag next to them. You set your keys down on the console table and unbuttoned your pants. Still bloated from lunch, even your newer maternity pants felt a bit tight.

As you walked through the entry hallway, you took off your lightweight cardigan, leaving you in a simple tank top and undone pants.

You didn’t hear Jimin call out for you, which he normally did if he was ever home before you. but you could have sworn you caught the sight of your mother’s signature black purse, resting on a chair in the living room.

You were in disbelief when you walked up to it, then greeted with the sound of her voice saying your name, along with your boyfriend’s.

Mouth slightly agape, your turned towards their voices. They seemed to have come out of the guest bedroom. This was the second time in your pregnancy your mother paid you a surprise visit, but this one was more unexpected than the first.

She looked a little different to you, maybe even aged. Her hair was tied back and her eyes had bags under them, which disappeared when she laid eyes on you. They glistened with tears as she bypassed Jimin quickly, arms open for you.

“Oh, my girl,” she smiled through her emotion, bringing you into her arms, “I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. And I’m sorry I was so stubborn.”

You raised your brows as she hugged you the best she could in spite of your bump in the way. You met Jimin’s gaze. He was smiling, leaning against the wall as he shrugged at you.

Then your mother pulled away, holding onto your arms, “You look beautiful. How are you feeling? I was told about the blood pres-

You shook your head, “Mom, Mom, hold on. What are you doing here?”

She let go of your arms and then glanced back at the man in the room, before returning her eyes to you, “I came after I heard about this…situation. I just wanted to check on you, assuming you would have taken a personal day off work for this. But I’m glad I got a few hours to speak with Jimin.”

Your eyes widened, looking back and forth between the two of them, “You’ve been here for hours? Why didn’t either of you text me?”

Jimin pushed himself off the wall and came forward, “Didn’t want to bother you. Plus, we filled the time with a lot of talking.”

“Yes, he explained everything to me,” she said, “It’s been difficult for you both, and I’m so sorry for that. But I’m glad you’ve found a man who loves you to help you through it. A very good man.”

Jimin smiled to himself.

Taken aback by her compliment, you couldn’t speak. You just blinked a few times.

Then your boyfriend’s grin faded. He could tell you were growing frustrated, on top of your bewilderment. He knew this reunion wouldn’t be simple.

Your mother gestured for you to sit down. Slowly, you went along with it. Your boyfriend disappeared into the kitchen to fix you a glass of water and your prenatal vitamin, having noticed that you forgot to take it in the morning.

Overcome with confusion, relief, and aggravation, you stammered, “S-So what? You’re back in my life, just like that?”

“Sweetie-”

“You didn’t speak to me for months,” you protested, “Do you have any idea how isolated I’ve felt?? I’m having a baby in what keeps unfolding to be an impossible circumstance, and my own parents basically abandoned me. You think you can just show up and give me a hug and everything can be fine??”

“You have every right to be angry with your father and I,” she sighed, “It took far too long for us to get over our preconceptions about the situation and reach out.”

“There’s no ‘us’,” you disputed, “Dad’s not here. He’s still sticking to it, isn’t he?”

“I’m going to do everything I can to persuade him.”

You chuckled so you wouldn’t cry, “I’d actually really appreciate that. I’m…I’m sorry I’m so upset…I just didn’t expect this and there’s been so much going on.”

Conscious of your escalating nerves, Jimin walked back into the living room and presented you with some water and your vitamin. You thanked him and consumed both as he meandered to the back of your selected seat, placing his hands on your shoulders for moral support.

You put a hand on one of his, not put on a display of mutual support, but to make sure he didn’t go anywhere.

Your mother corrected herself, “I’m sorry. I just want to tell you I’m here for you, if you need me. Carrying a child is hard enough in itself, I can’t imagine what it’s like in your shoes.”

“It’s been horrible at times,” your posture relaxed as you made the admission, “But you were right. I have a very good man by my side. And you owe him an apology too, for how severely you misjudged him.”

Jimin gave you a tiny squeeze, giving your mother a reassuring expression, “She has, very graciously. And unnecessarily. I’ve always understood why you guys might not like me, so there are no hard feelings.”

You caught how she smiled back at him. It was then made obvious that her opinion of him truly had changed.

She stayed for a while longer, to catch up on your life. During that time, you felt the beginnings of healing take root. Your heart was still hurt, and it certainly wasn’t going to mend overnight. But at the same time, you were grateful she made the first step, defying her own husband in the process.

When she left, the second you closed the door, you turned to look to Jimin. He was standing close behind you, already starting to chuckle.

You shook your head, but couldn’t help your own grin, “What the hell has today been?”

“I thought that was very kind. Your mom is a very nice woman. And I’m glad I got the chance to get better acquainted with her, and she with me,” he said, inching closer to you, “After the initial awkward phase, we actually had a nice time while you were gone. You’re like her in some ways.”

Your back remained against the door as he drew even closer to you, “How so? Careful with your answer, by the way.”

His classic smirk appeared, “You’re both pretty stubborn. Neither of you are good at hiding your emotions…What else? Similar taste in clothes…”

You playfully batted at his chest, “None of those things are what a daughter wants to share with her mother.”

He brought you into his arms, “But all of those things are lovely, including the stubbornness. Strong people have a stubborn side, the good kind.”

“Mmhm,” you hummed, “Nice save.”

Then he looked down at midsection and chuckled again, “Are these pants no longer comfy?”

Rolling your eyes with a smile, you broke free and began walking back to the living room, “No, they’re fine. I just had a huge lunch today and I needed to let our poor baby breathe. I went out with the girlfriends.”

“Oh,” he was thankful for some pleasant news as he followed you, “That’s great, baby. I’m sure they were a good distraction.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, plopping down on the larger sofa and stretching out, “For a little bit anyway. Today still wasn’t the best, as you could imagine. Chaeyoung and I went to speak with Minjun, actually. Her idea, not mine.”

Jimin sat down beside you and lifted your legs onto his lap to begin a light massage of your calves, “I’m aware. He called me afterwards. I think it’s good that they are aware of her current situation. He’s going to try and contact them. If, against all odds, it turns out that they had nothing to do with the story, he may ask them to put out a statement of their own.”

“Oh…How would you feel about that?”

He looked up at the ceiling as he thought of the right words to say, “I guess I’m not sure. I want this to be cleared up. And while I’m not super comfortable with Seoyeon speaking up, if it will put out this fire, then I’ll take it. Believe me, this affects the company enough that they will do anything to disprove it.”

You nodded, placing your hands on your bump, “That was definitely made clear in the statement. In one sense, I’m glad to hear it. But it also makes me worry even more about what they will do when we have to tell the truth. Not with me, but with you.”

He smiled at you softly, “You don’t need to be concerned with that. Whatever happens can be handled. We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

His comfort was infectious to you, making you ease up. A gentle grin to mimic his spread across your face, “We have.”

“You and me, my love. That’s what we do. We make it through anything that gets thrown our way.”

You would have replied with some sweet thing, but that was postponed when your unborn child kicked, and you felt it against your palm. It was like a tap.

Eyes, widening, you gasped, “Jimin, come here. Quick!”

Curious, he scooted closer to you, lifting your legs off of him to allow more space. The taps kept occurring as you sat up, grabbing his hand. You swapped yours for his on your belly.

“Feel it?”

The two of you only had to wait a few seconds before the baby’s movements made another appearance. You felt it from the inside, him from the outside.

His face was pure glee, “Finally!”

“Thanks for showing up for us today,” you cooed down to your belly, “You’re becoming such a little squirmer.”

“Keep going, little one,” the father coached, “Come on, one more. Good job!”

You laughed, “All of the sudden he’s so eager to please.”

“She is eager to please.”

You sighed and looked down at your bump again, “Mommy and Daddy can’t seem to agree on whether you’re a boy or girl…We also can’t seem to pick a name for you. Or build you a nursery. Or buy you clothes and all the diapers we can get our hands on.”

Jimin chuckled as the kicking ceased, lifting your shirt so he could place a warm kiss to your bare flesh, “We will do all of that in good time.”

“Well I hate to say it, but the ‘good time’ might be now. Especially for the nursery. That will take time, which is something you don’t have a lot of.”

He smirked, sitting up, “I’ll make time. Why don’t we start taking things out of the guest room this weekend? Then you can pick a new color for the wall and I’ll get the guys to help me paint.”

You hummed in satisfaction, pulling your shirt back over your tummy, “I like the sound of that.”

"I'm glad, because I do have a tiny bit of sad news that you won’t like the sound of."

"Nothing could be worse than the bomb that was dropped on us yesterday," you said, "What is it?"

He went back to massaging your legs, "I'm afraid I won't be able to take you out on a discreet date anytime soon. Now that there's a rumor about me getting someone pregnant, I don't like the risk of showing up to even the most respectful places. You look too pregnant now, baby."

You nodded, "I know. Honestly, even if none of the Seoyeon stuff was happening, it wouldn't be a smart idea anyway."

His heart was burning with disappointment on your behalf. He remembered how important it was to you to be able to do those things, and now the opportunity had been totally squandered, for the time being. You had to go back to absolute secrecy - no exceptions.

Jimin lamented, "You know I think you deserve so much more, right baby?"

You caught the hint of shame, "I know it, Jimin."

The following day was more of the same - you went into work while Jimin stayed home.

Giving you a sense of deja-vu, Chaeyoung came into your office once again, as you were getting situated at your desk. Most days, you were happy to start your work day with a friendly chat, but the circumstances were squeezing the patience out of you.

There was something odd about her carriage this morning. She looked a smidge distraught, and fully shut the door behind her.

“Morning, Chae,” you sighed as you sat down, trying not to sound irritated, “What’s up?”

She sat in one of the smaller chairs, “Nothing, just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

You paused and looked at her directly, nerves ticking upward, “I’m fine. Why, do I look off today?”

“Other than the typical pregnancy look, no.” she said.

You smiled, “Ouch.”

“I just wanted to apologize for yesterday,” she folded her hands in her lap, “You were clearly uncomfortable going up to Management and I kind of forced you. Sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you to stick out your neck like that.”

“Oh,” your grin grew more genuine, “Thanks for saying that. It’s alright, I promise. I guess it just felt like something I shouldn’t do. Not my business, you know?”

Chaeyoung narrowed her eyes just the slightest bit for the shortest second, before nodding along, “Honestly, a part of me felt that way too. But I wanted to do something small that could help Jimin. I guess I sort of view all the guys as friends and I hate thinking about what he’s going through right now.”

You were detecting a change in her demeanor and naturally became more cognizant of your word selection, “They aren’t our friends in the traditional way, but I see where you’re coming from. I feel for him too.”

She said nothing for a moment, causing a bundle of nerves to take root in the pit of your stomach. You just had to make it through this weird conversation, you told yourself, and then you could go about your day.

Unfortunately for you, your colleague seemed to be in a curious mood today.

Chaeyoung leaned forward a little, lowering her voice despite the door being closed, “Yes…It’s easy to tell that you care about him.”

Your stomach did a flip. You felt your face flush, which only fueled your apprehension, making you paranoid that your nerves were on fully display.

You laughed uneasily, “Is it? How so?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, leaning in a bit more, “You just appear to enjoy your interactions with him in the studio.”

You were wiggling your ankle under your desk, “I do, actually. He’s kind and funny. Everyone feels that way about him. I mean, you can’t deny that you do.”

“No, he’s a very pleasant person to be around,” she replied, “All I’m saying is you’ve…developed an affinity for him, right?”

It was taking all of your will to summon composure, “Chae, what are you insinuating?”

She said nothing for a moment, but then she smiled, “I guess I really don’t know. I’ll leave you to it.”

Then she got up and started towards the door. You felt some relief, but there’d be a lingering dread. Now it was evident that someone at work had gotten suspicious of you and Jimin. You were eagerly waiting for her to exit the office, so you could let out a panicked sigh and let yourself react.

And then she halted, and turned back towards you.

Her face was almost in a state of a wince, taking no pleasure in any of this.

She started back towards you and plopped back into the chair, “Actually, no. I’m very sorry, Y/N, but I need to talk to you about this.”

“A-About what?” you kept up the act for as long as you could.

Chaeyoung’s expression hardened, “You know.”

Again, you spackled on a grin, “I truly have no idea.”

Then she reached across your desk to grab your hand, “You’re shaking. You can tell me. It’s okay.”

The realization that she most likely knew the truth was starting to sink in. For whatever reason and against your wishes, your eyes pricked with tears.

“I don’t know what you’re alluding to.”

Her tone softened, as if she pitied you, “You love him, Y/N.”

A tear rolled down your cheek, “I-I-”

“And he loves you,” she nearly whispered, “He’s the father of your baby. It’s okay. You don’t have to keep it from me anymore.”

Finally, you exhaled and gave up. You knew you should have kept lying, but you couldn’t help the desire to have some of this tremendous weight lifted from your shoulders.

You sniffled, wiping under your eyes, “How did you know?”

She smiled gently, “I wasn’t sure for a while. You guys do enjoy your interactions, but I was convincing myself that he’s just like that with everyone. But when I found out you’re pregnant, it clicked. Especially since you’ve never told me anything about the father.”

“Right…” you were still processing, “Please don’t tell a soul. You know what will happen.”

Sadly, she nodded, “I know. I can only assume that it’s the reason why you’re having health problems. I can’t imagine how difficult this has been for both of you. You have my word that I won’t utter a word.”

You shook your head, more tears falling, “I just told you this huge secret and you’re promising to keep it, just like that?”

She laughed lightly, “Of course. We’re friends. I want you to be well. Now we can finally talk about the fact that you’re having Park Jimin’s baby.”

You started to laugh through your tears, “Don’t say it too loud.”

“Sorry.” she lowered the volume.

“But why did you wait so long to confront me?” you asked.

She suddenly reverted back to being somewhat illusive, “Oh, I don’t know. I just got tired of you hiding it, after seeing the toll it’s taken on your health. I-I became more determined after you got sent home. I wanted you to have a friend here to, you know, vent to.”

You nodded, sniffling again as your emotions calmed, “I guess that makes sense. Thank you.”

“If you guys ever come clean,” she became more serious, “Can I trust that you won’t tell Management that I knew? They could fire me too, for knowing and not saying anything.”

“O-Of course,” you assured, “You’ve protected me all these months. I’ll protect you too. It’s the very least I can do to repay you.”

Then her face fell. You were perplexed yet again by her fluctuating moods. She crossed her arms over her torso in a self-embrace. Then she crossed her legs. It was the body language of someone who wasn’t saying everything. She was closing her body off, as if trying to conceal whatever had been left unsaid.

Nerves climbing, you tilted your head slightly, “Chae? What’s wrong? Does someone else know?”

She shook her head, looking like she wanted to sink into herself, “No, no…But there is something else I think I need to tell you.”

The suspense was holding you hostage, “What is it?”

Her emotional state escalated. She even checked to see that the door was indeed closed and locked, “I-I didn’t want to even tell you at first, but now I feel like I need to because it’s eating at me.”

Her timid energy rendered you speechless. You were at a point where you had to focus on your breathing. Your heart was racing, and you placed a hand on your chest to try to stabilize yourself.

“I did it…” Chaeyoung nearly whispered, “I’m the one who went to the press.”

You started to chuckle. It was hilarious.

“Come on,” you shook your head, “Don’t freak me out like that.”

“I did, though. I’m the source in the story,” she reiterated more calmly, “At the airport, I could tell that Seoyeon was putting the pieces together about you. It was in her eyes, and she clearly recognized that shirt she used to borrow from Jimin.”

Your gaze evolved into one of horror. She was really telling the truth.

“And then a couple weeks later, my husband told me that she’d spoken about you at their firm. She inquired about you to him, mentioning that you work with me. She was keen on asking if you were married or not. My husband told her you aren’t married and apparently that confirmed it for her.”

Your knees felt locked. Your chest was throbbing and you felt hot.

She went on, “Seoyeon isn’t trustworthy. I could feel that she was getting ready to exploit this. She was angling to go to the media herself, probably exposing you by name and perhaps even disclosing her own relationship with Jimin. It would have been crushing and so I decided to seize the initiative.”

You grew angrier, keeping your voice low, “You decided to what, do it yourself? So that you could be the one to cause all this mayhem? I-I don’t event know where to start. How could you?”

“I did it for your benefit,” she rushed, “I swear, Y/N.”

“Why did you take me through that whole song and dance about how you’ve known about us this whole time? Did you want to butter me up so I’d promise not to tell anyone about this??”

Your veins were surging with red hot blood. This was sending you over the edge, but it couldn’t be helped.

“No, of course not. Please listen.” she begged.

You shot up onto your feet and pointed to your door, warning her through clenched teeth so that you wouldn’t yell, “Leave now. I can’t bear to hear this anymore.”

She stood up too, desperately, “It was the right thing. If you could allow to me to explain, I promise you’ll see.”

You were infuriated now, your head pounding, hands shaking. You didn’t know whether to scream or burst into tears. Her actions had caused so much turmoil and damage, some of it irreparable. Because of her, there would likely always be some people who thought Jimin fathered another kid. This rumor would always be slung at him by rude commenters seeking to make a cruel dig. It would always follow him, and it would always follow you. And she, your own friend, was the culprit.

“I don’t want your…Y-Your explan…Explanation…”

Chaeyoung was remorseful and alarmed to watch you get increasingly unstable. Cheeks red, eyes slightly glassy. You swayed a little, experiencing a sensation as though you were floating off the floor. And then you collapsed onto it, losing consciousness.

“I don’t understand,” Jimin said, partially while biting on his finger, “How is this verified?”

Minjun was on the phone with him, delivering some confusing information, “I was able to speak with both of them, though she didn’t have too much to say. They are beside themselves, just like you are. They are going to call the same publication and make a joint statement, saying that the rumor is totally false and expressing their wish for this to die down. I have also ensured that there will be no mention of your previous relationship with her.”

“Wow…Sorry, this is not what I expected to hear. I was so convinced she was behind it,” he said, “She seemed troubled?”

“Very,” the manager confirmed, “She sounded as if she hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep. They also will be pursuing legal action.”

“I’m just so confused,” Jimin ran a hand through his dark hair, which was desperately in need of a trim, “Now I have literally no idea who it could have been.”

“My best guess would be that Seoyeon may have told those in her inner circle about you two. And maybe one of those people got the wrong impression.”

He hummed as he weighed the notion, “Could be. You don’t think it could be someone else at the company, do you? There would be a handful who would know that the two of us were together at one point.”

“We certainly won’t rule that out,” Minjun sighed, “But the risk for any employee of our would be too high. They’d have to be willing to put their job on the line for that.”

Jimin groaned, “None of this makes any sense…If either of those theories were true, then the individual would likely know that Seoyeon is married. And they’d have to create this story, probably knowing that it’s false. It would have to be a deliberate move. Whoever did this most likely lied, on purpose. Right?”

“I can see how that would be plausible,” the other man considered, “However, try not to deep dive into it. It’s our job to go down all the rabbit holes. The good news is, as soon as Seoyeon and Daejin release their statement, we will have gotten over the biggest hurdle. Once they dispute it, almost all of this will go away.”

Jimin was only partially listening as he concluded his sentence, his attention split by his phone buzzing. He was getting another call, but it was an unknown number. For obvious reasons, he declined to answer it.

The manager asked him, “You there?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Just had another random call come through.”

“No worries. I was just saying most of this will go away very soon. I’ll stay in touch.”

“Sounds good,” Jimin said, “I’d like to get back in the studio soon.”

“Within the next day or so, don’t worry,” Minjun chuckled, “Alright, take care.”

“Thanks. Bye.”

Almost as soon as he hung up, there was another incoming call. It was from Hoseok, so he accepted it with a sigh. He was probably just wanting to check in, being the good friend he was.

“Hey, Hobi.”

“Jimin,” his tone struck a different chord than anticipated, “I really don’t mean to pile onto your issues right now, but an ambulance came by the building. I’m on too high of a floor to see who was on the stretcher, but it kind of looked like a pregnant woman. Maybe you should check in on Y/N.”

It was the most unwelcome thought. A gap suddenly snapped within him, “I’ll call her right now. I have to go.”

There was no time to let Hoseok reply. He disconnected and called you immediately, heart knocking against his chest a little harder. When you didn’t pick up, the knock evolved into a batter.

Jimin called you several times over the next few minutes, each call ringing all the way through to your voicemail. That triggered even more panic, as if you were only in a meeting or something, it would have rung a couple times to be met with your rejection. The fact that it was ringing for that long each time gave the impression that you weren’t near your phone at all.

Then, a godsend, that same unknown number called him back.

Never, in any other case, would he think to answer a call from an unidentified source. This time, he felt like he had no choice.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Park. I’m calling from Seoul National University Hospital. We’ve received a Miss Y/N Y/L/N into our Emergency Unit.”

He felt like he could have been sick any moment, springing into panic mode. He hustled to get some shoes on and a jacket, “Oh my God…I-Is she alright?? What happened??”

“Her friend said she passed out at work,” the woman explained, “She has regained consciousness briefly, but has since gone back under. While you’re not her emergency contact, we were told by the friend that you should know immediately.”

He was hopeful and dreading that ‘the friend’ was Chaeyoung. He was glad to figure that you had someone who cared about you by your side, but painfully alarmed that Chaeyoung could have known to contact him. He could only imagine that it meant she suspected his involvement with you.

But that was secondary, for now. Jimin was shoving his feet into his sneakers, “I’m on my way.”

“When you arrive, make your way to the Maternity Wing. Fortunately for Y/N, her doctor is currently in the building. We are transferring her up there now.”

He barely understood. All he heard was ‘maternity wing’. His brain was moving a mile a second.

“Thank you, I’ll be there soon.”

It was impossible to hang up faster than he did. He bolted back and forth through the apartment for a few moments, forgetting his wallet and keys.

The drive to the hospital felt like hours. His mind was so clouded that it was a miracle he didn’t get into an accident. His only thoughts were of you. Even though he hadn’t been told that you were in critical condition, the woman on the phone didn’t say you were alright. He had no idea what to make of it, and that terrified him. Was the fainting spontaneous? Had you injured yourself? If you fell, could it have hurt the baby?

He parked a bit haphazardly in the lot, before storming inside. He had no mask on, no hat, no sunglasses. Totally recognizable with no room to care.

He rushed in and gave thanks to the universe that there was no one in-line. He had direct access to the receptionist, a woman who could have been close to his age.

Her wasted no time, and uttered a phrase that couldn’t have been more condemning, given the rumor that was swirling around.

“I need to find the Maternity Wing.” he said, slightly out of breath due to adrenaline.

The young woman’s eyes widened as she froze for a few seconds. It was then that Jimin became more aware of the drastic move he was making. He was standing, in a public hospital, frantic. It didn’t look good. And as soon as he made it to the right part of the building, it would do nothing to dispel his current predicament with the media.

The receptionist pulled her conduct together, “Y-Yes, you’ll want to head up to the third floor. The elevators are just around that corner over there. Once you’re off, take a right and you will see the entryway.”

The nervous wreck of a man nodded, “Thank you.”

Those behind the desk watched him as he hurried away, before gossiping amongst themselves about what had just happened.

Others in the lobby took notice of him as well, all of them too flabbergasted to even try to say anything to him. That was another gift from the universe - to not have to deal with over-excited fans in the middle of this.

Once off the elevator, he took a right as the right, just as the woman downstairs had said. When he saw the two large doors labeled with the right name, Jimin broke into a jog. He pushed open one of the doors and completed his journey to the next front desk.

More were shocked to see him there. He heard gasps and some whispering.

He made sure he kept his voice low, so hopefully no one would be able to hear your name, “I’m here for Y/N Y/L/N. I was just called.”

This woman did a better job of keeping a professional decorum, standing up, “Right, follow me please.”

Jimin couldn’t bear to look at his surroundings. He knew people were staring, and he was terrified of turning his head to see phones either taking pictures or recording him. There was no time to start to worry about the fallout. You and his little baby were somewhere on this floor, possibly hurting.

The door was opened for him. She said quietly, “Doctor Yoon will be in to check on her shortly. And don’t worry. If I have to, I will call security on anyone who may disturb your time.”

Once he caught the sight of you in that bed, his ears drowned out the sound of her voice. He wasn’t sure if he thanked her for doing him that act of kindness before the door was closed.

Chaeyoung was sitting in one of the side chairs, and suddenly Jimin’s overworked mind was split between dealing with her and his concern for you. He saw on her tear-soaked face that she knew the truth, so he didn’t bother saying anything to her.

He approached your bedside and pulled up a chair, eyes brimming with his own tears as he scanned your frame. His chest burned with hatred for what brought you to this point, your poor body filled with so much distress that it needed to give out for a while.

“She’s been in and out of sleep,” Chaeyoung said, “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Wait,” he looked up from your resting face to look at her, “How long have you known?”

She pursed her lips together before croaking, “A while. But I won’t say anything. I haven’t this far.”

He nodded slowly, “How did you get my number for them to call?”

She smiled a little, “Y/N thinks she’s been good at keeping secrets from me, including her phone password. I unlocked it and found your contact.”

Jimin inhaled slowly, and exhaled, “Thank you for your discretion. I don’t really know what else to say. You’ve looked out for her.”

Chaeyoung’s soft grin eroded, “I’ve tried, I really have.”

“When you walk out, please don’t say anything to anyone if they approach you…I fear I’ve just launched another frenzy. Worse, I don’t think I can make my way out of this one.”

The woman nodded, “I’m truly sorry.”

“Thank you, Chaeyoung.”

She seemed to float out of the room, almost in a daze. It intrigued him, but all outside thoughts flew from his mind when you began to stir.

Your eyes closed tighter for a second as you hummed, causing Jimin to wonder if you were in pain. Then they opened, taking notice of him instantly.

The man took your hand and brought it to his lips, “You scared the hell out of me. Everything’s going to be okay, sweetheart.”

“I have a headache.” you said, squinting a little, “These lights are so bright.”

Jimin breathed out a sigh of relief that you weren’t complaining of more serious pain, “I’ll turn them off.”

He rose from the chair and walked towards the door, flicking the switch to create a much dimmer atmosphere for you. It soothed your forehead and eyes right away.

“I…” your voice was small, “I don’t understand. How did you find out?”

He offered you a smile sitting back down, “Chaeyoung apparently knows your phone password and had them call me.”

“She didn’t just call you herself?” you asked, “W-Why? Did she leave? Jimin, y-you can’t be here. Were you noticed?”

He put his hand on your belly, “Yeah, she left. And I don’t know, baby. That’s not important right now.”

“But-”

“Not important,” he offered you a soft, forced smile, “Don’t waste an ounce of your energy on what people may or may not have noticed. It’s only us, our little family.”

You nodded and placed your own hand on your belly, right next to his, “Did she tell you what happened?”

“Not exactly, she just said you’ve been drifting in and out of sleep. You passed out, right?”

Tears began to form in your eyes as you prepared to tell him what you had learned, lips quivering, “Jimin-”

He leaned forward to kiss your forehead and your cheeks several times, unable to withstand the sight of you like this, “Don’t cry. I know you’re worried about the baby. They said Doctor Yoon will be here any minute to make sure you’re both alright.”

On cue, the door unlatched and Doctor Yoon walked in.

Your attentive, inwardly petrified boyfriend put on a brave smile for you, “See?”

Sensitive to your needs, the doctor left the lights off. There was enough natural light in the room to conduct her business. She had your chart on her arms, but took a minute to show cater to your emotional needs.

“I know,” she sighed, “Not the most relaxed situation. It’s okay. I’ve seen this occur more times than I can even count and all will be well.”

You and Jimin nodded, both of you worried for your little one.

“However,” Doctor Yoon sat down in her cushioned black stool, “I think we’ve reached a point where I need to start running some diagnostic tests. Given the way your blood pressure has increased, even on the meds, I want to test for preeclampsia.”

Jimin’s brain couldn’t compute what that meant. He blinked a couple times, “Sorry, for some reason I can’t remember what preeclampsia is.”

“Don’t apologize, that’s why you have a doctor,” she said, “Preeclampsia is basically just another word for persistent high blood pressure. The reason we want to check for it is because it negatively impacts the placenta, which is in charge of nourishing your baby with blood, oxygen, and food.”

Horrified, Jimin looked down at you to make sure you weren’t unraveling.

“What kinds of tests do you need to do?” you asked her.

“First of all, I want to check baby’s size. You’re at a point now where we should see baby growing quickly. If your placenta is being compromised, he or she would be a bit small for their age. Then I’ll take your blood and a urine sample, which I can have the results for in a day or two.”

The two of you continued to be situated in silence as the professional went about the room, preparing the ultrasound equipment. Jimin was holding your hand, his increasingly sweaty palm cupping your knuckle. You felt horrible that he was so clearly petrified, but was trying to hold it all together for you. It was admirable, but hard to watch.

To help him, you made a conscious effort to appear more relaxed. If you looked calm, perhaps he would feel more at ease. Exhaling on a deep breath, you let your shoulders drop.

Doctor Yoon scooted next to you, on the other side of the less than comfortable hospital bed. It was like a routine ultrasound - she had you clear some space on your bump so she could place some gel. The cool jelly was swiped in circles over your flesh in circular motions.

A few moments later, the heartbeat of your child filled the room, filling both of you with a tiny fraction of relief.

“Still sounds strong,” the woman smiled at you both, “That’s a good sign. And you don’t appear particularly swollen, which is also encouraging.”

You did your best not to sound shaky as you asked, “Does he or she seem small?”

“Let’s see…” she sighed, “At first glance, this looks like a very typical size. A tad on the small side, but that could very well be genetic, if either of you were small at birth.”

Your nervous boyfriend tried to lighten the mood, “I’m not known for being tall, so that could be on me.”

You laughed a little, making the image on the screen bounce.

Doctor Yoon kept making some clicks, “Yeah, I’m not seeing evidence of abnormal growth. Another positive sign. And I love seeing so much movement.”

“There’s been so much squirming lately.” you said.

She smiled as she turned off the machine and wiped your belly clean, “That’s what we want to see. I’ll go order those labs for you, just so we can be certain. Sit tight, you two.”

As Doctor Yoon stood, Jimin caught her attention. He took an upward stance, again putting forth the effort to sound collected, “Oh, before you walk out the door…”

The doctor tilted her head slightly, “Yes?”

“I apologize for any unwanted attention you may receive. Curious eyes.”

You had a lump in your throat and turned your head to the side, gazing at one of the gestational biology posters on the wall.

Doctor Yoon offered him reassurance, “Those folks aren’t my concern. You don’t need to worry about that.”

He resumed his place by your side, “Thank you.”

When the door shut and the two of you were alone once more, he let out a hefty sigh. His fingers traced over any remaining bits of the clear gel on your belly.

“We got over a couple hurdles at least, right little one? You look like you’ve grown to a good size, and your heart is still going strong.”

You began to tear up, “Jimin I need to tell you something.”

His first reaction to seeing you cry was to lean over and kiss your forehead. He wiped your tears away, “Shh, it’s alright. Please don’t cry, sweetheart. Whatever it is, we will work it out.”

“The reason I passed out,” you said, “Is Chaeyoung. She’s the one who went to the press.”

His body rejected the notion wholeheartedly, causing him to smirk a little, “No, that can’t be right.”

“It is,” you were deadly serious, eyes wide and alarmed, “She told me she did. She said it was to protect us, in some weird way.”

Any trace of nonchalance on Jimin’s face eroded. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to trust in such a ridiculous suggestion.

You went on, “I-I didn’t know it before, but her husband works with Seoyeon’s. Apparently she learned that Seoyeon had been trying to dig for more information about me. Remember how I told you I thought she recognized that t-shirt at the airport? I must have been right. Chaeyoung thought she was preparing to go to the media herself, and that by beating her to it with a different story, she’d be protecting us.”

He didn’t know whether to shout or spit.

“I…I-I don’t know what to…She told you this??”

You nodded, “She admitted it on her own.”

Body tense, Jimin shook his head, neck drawing downward. Now he was having to fight back his rage, on top of nerves for the wellbeing of you and his child.

He couldn’t understand. Chaeyoung had been nothing but a decent friend to you since you’d known her. Watching her be a friend to you had been a source of comfort for him - to know you at least had someone to take the heaviness off a smidge each day at work. He saw many instances of her care for you. This didn’t make sense.

“She did seem off when she left the room,” his voice sounded a little distant, “But I never could have imagined…this.”

Furious tears were flowing down your cheeks at this point, “H-How are you not angry?”

Jimin’s head snapped back up, giving you a glimpse of the tense muscles in his neck, “Don’t accuse me of that, baby. Of course I’m angry. I’m just in disbelief and I’m trying not to explode while you and our baby might be in trouble.”

“Sorry,” you sighed, “We should both try to remain calm. This is just…”

“Such a fucking betrayal.”

You gulped, “Yeah.”

Jimin inhaled through his nose, lips tightly glued together and eyes closed. When he opened them, he saw your doe-like expression. You were being put through the wringer.

“One thing at a time,” he said, though you weren’t sure if he was trying to fortify you or himself, “We will find out what’s going on with you first. I’ll deal with Chaeyoung later.”

The way the latter sentence spewed from his lips carried disgust.

The man was exasperated, face planting into his palms. His fingers rubbed over his brow in circles before running all the way down, pulling his cheeks with them. He released a quiet groan.

“I’ll deal with her,” Jimin muttered once more, “I promise.”

“It looks like we are going to be forced to deal with ourselves before we can take any action. You were probably seen out there, Jimin. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are cameras waiting to greet us when we leave this room.”

He nodded begrudgingly, placing his hand on your belly again. The child inside you tethered him to what little composure he had left.

“We’re out of time.”

The words shook you to your core, despite the fact that it wasn’t his intention. Jimin had been so stolid in front of you this entire journey. Even though you knew it to be true already, to hear him voice genuine dread was rattling.

You remained in the hospital for a while longer, most of that time spent waiting for Doctor Yoon to return to perform your labs. Thoughtfully, she knew the two of you would prefer to have her do them herself, rather than have some random nurse practitioner waltz in.

As you were getting your blood drawn, Jimin made a call to his security. By the way his side of the conversation was sounding, you could tell his guard had questions, but he was giving no direct answer. All he kept saying was that he should meet at the hospital. Jimin explained that he’d parked in the main lot and would probably need assistance with the exit. You could only imagine how confused this poor security guard was, not being given all the details. Your boyfriend was trying to protect your identity for as long as he could.

Before you were mentally ready, the labs were completed. There would be a wait period of a couple days before results would come in, and in the meantime, you were to take it easy. Until given further notice, you were officially on bed rest. And now it was time to step out into the world, and, most likely, a totally new reality.

Jimin helped you out of bed once he had received word from security. Doctor Yoon bid you farewell and offered some kind words, and then left you to it.

“Alright baby,” he sighed, “We’re going to walk out the door and keep our heads low. There may be some people pointing their phones at us and whatnot, but I don’t think they’ll ask questions. Usually when people see me in public unexpectedly, they don’t make comments. We will head straight to the elevator and my guard will meet us in the lobby. Have you met him before?”

“N-No,” you replied, “I’ve probably seen his face before though.”

“Good enough…I feel like now would be a good time to ask you if you’re ready, but that’s probably a silly question, huh?”

You nodded, keeping your tears locked behind your lower lid, “I’m definitely not ready…I’m not ready for this to be out there. To lose my job. For all of your fans to know who I am, and probably hate me.”

Jimin’s soul winced. He gently took your face into his hands, eyes bearing into your depths. His voice was soft, a little raspy, “Before we walk out there, I need you to know something.”

You hummed, holding his wrists in place to keep the comfort of his palms present.

His dark eyes glistened over, “I need you to know that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. You have a creative mind and a sharp wit, and you make people around you happy. So many people rightfully adore you, baby. I adore you, desperately. I and all those others will still be around after today. You have me, your mom, my parents, the guys, the other girlfriends.”

On the verge of tears, you gave him a small grin, “Why are you saying all of this?”

He kissed your forehead, “Because I want you to know that no matter what transpires from what we are about to do, you still have a village. And I’m damn lucky to be in it.”

You smiled a little wider, but it didn’t fully run up to your eyes. Then you released his wrists from your light grasp and placed your hands on the bottom of your bump, “And we still have the most precious gift to look forward to.”

Jimin captured your lips tenderly, “We are blessed, sweetheart. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way.”

Part of you felt convicted by that. Perhaps, despite everything, you could’ve shown more gratitude for the life you had.

“I know we are,” you sighed shakily, still filled with nerves, “And I’m damn lucky to have you. I love you so much.”

He kissed you again, “I love you too. I guess we’re postponing the inevitable at this point. You okay to leave? Need another minute?”

You wanted to have an excuse to stay.

“I’m alright. We should go. The longer we wait, the more the word may spread and the more people might be anticipating.”

Jimin took your hand and started towards the door.

“W-Wait,” you stammered, “You want to be holding hands in front of them?”

The man chuckled in that special way he always did to make light of tricky circumstances.

“I suppose an upside to this situation is that we no longer have to pretend?”

A second genuine yet apprehensive smile spread minimally on your face as you held his hand a little tighter. He mirrored your expression for a moment, before turning to the door again. Both of you took a breath as he placed a hand on the door handle, pushing it down and applying pressure to open it.

The pair of you stepped out into a silent hallway. Head low, you started to wish that people were speaking. The quiet speculation was way more uncomfortable than you could have foreseen. There were whisperings as you both walked with as much discretion as possible. Camera sounds too, undoubtedly coming from people’s phones.

Your skin felt hot and your chest buzzed as you walked slightly behind your boyfriend, allowing him to guide you. This moment was beyond surreal. You were in public, openly holding hands with him. It was nothing short of a declaration. All of the sudden, you felt painfully conscious of your protruding belly.

Jimin’s heart weighed a ton in his ribcage. Though this exact situation was brand new to him, he at least had gone through familiar things more times than he could count. He’d mastered the art of keeping his face even, posture and gait normal. And he was determined to make this time no different. After all, he wasn’t ashamed of you and the baby in your womb - why would he give them the impression that you were a scandal?

The elevator ride down carried two other individuals, but they were both a bit older and seemed not to notice or care who Jimin was. When the doors slid apart at the end of the ride, unveiling a crowded lobby of people, you clenched your boyfriend's hand tighter.

His security guard, whose face was familiar but whose name escaped you, was standing right by the elevator, prepared to lead you both out to his car. He was the only other person you were willing to make eye contact with. This man was pretty tall and big, with a somewhat perplexed expression when he saw you.

This uneasy glance lasted a split second, before Jimin muttered to him with haste, "Don't worry. You'll get an explanation soon enough, along with the rest of the world."

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught some people approaching you with their phones pointed, taking photos or recording. You began to feel a little woozy again, a stint of dull nausea that would never come to fruition forming in your gut.

Too afraid to even whisper his name, you gave Jimin's hand a small tug.

He looked back at you and saw it immediately. Your eyes looked droopy - you were feeling off again.

He turned his head back to the security guard, using a low mumbling voice again, "Come on, I need to get her home. Now."

The rest of the walk to the car was a blur. You concentrated on your steps and your breath, trying to keep yourself from becoming too lightheaded. Whatever was going on around you came second.

Once out in the fresh air, it got easier to not feel as suffocated, although some people followed you guys out into the parking lot. You heard their footsteps behind you. The security guard, doing his job correctly, saw that hardly anyone was near Jimin and faltered back to stand closer to you, ensuring no one would be able to touch you.

Not soon enough, you were in his car, which thankfully had tinted windows. You were both able to release pent up puffs of air, secluded from view. For the first time throughout this experience, you looked directly at the people, since they couldn’t see you. There was a swarm of them with their rectangular devices, lenses seizing their prey.

“There are many of them…” you observed.

Jimin sighed, “Yeah, that ought to cause a stir. How do you feel? Okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said, “I just want to get home.”

He started the vehicle, “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Both of you. We’ll be home soon. And then I’ll probably get phone calls from everyone I know.”

[radfem-hot-takes]

this blog hasnt even existed for a month yet and some of you have really shown your misogyny. we get it you hate osa women. can we please stop doing these blogs now because they actively do more harm than good

To be fair, the opinions submitted on here would've existed regardless of this blogs existence. I'm just publishing them and making them known, which for some reason you're mad at. For a community that brags about how accepting of opinions they are, you're awfully unaccepting of people being critical of those attracted to the oppressor (men). Yes, misogyny is not okay, I agree, but you need to understand the difference between criticism - talking about how OSA women can contribute to perpetuating misogyny by dating the oppressing class, and straight up misogyny.

Once again, the submissions on this blog do not reflect my personal opinions. Personally, I don't care about this SSA vs OSA bullshit, it's a waste of time which you could be using to do real life activism that would do actual change. But people, like you, want to argue over it, and it's in bad faith to silence the opinions of others, even if - in my opinion - it's a waste of time.

Skipping the queue because I don't want to wait until next week for this to be seen. This will be the last time I talk about this issue, as I won't be repeating myself. I'll still publish submissions talking about this, just because freedom of speech and whatnot, and because I know how much everyone loves to rant about it because that's apparently the biggest threat to women's rights, at least according to radblr anyway.

[roach-works]

So no pressure to answer whatsoever! You're the first person I've ever seen express they don't think Jesus actually existed ever in any form? (if I read that right, admittedly) Given I thought the furthest camp was "I believe there was a historical person who existed who the figure of Jesus is based on, and that he was a figure of importance of his time, but I also know there was a lot of deliberate rewriting of history where he is concerned, so it is difficult to find the kernels of historical truth between the mythologized figure" I am curious how you arrived at "not a real guy who ever actually happened"

-we have no archaeological evidence of the guy. no artifacts or surviving contemporary records.

-all firsthand attestations that he existed are written well after his death, in some cases by people who couldn't have overlapped his life

-there were a lot of guys named yeshua in nazareth around that time.

-crucifixion was a common punishment for criminals such as anti-authoritarian cult leaders

-rome annexed judea. we do have proof of this. a LOT of jews were mad as hell about what happened to their homeland and their religion and were exploring alternatives. and getting killed for it.

-it's entirely likely that a century later a singular Miracles Josh was syncretized out of the various young revolutionaries that stood up and denounced the religious and secular authorities of the day and then got crucified.

-i don't think any single one of them was the true messiah who actually did miracles and had the mandate of heaven any more than i think a greek guy named heracles was really born of zeus and did all that superhero stuff.

-christian sources love misquoting atheist and jewish scholars when they give very cautious answers along the lines of 'its very likely there was a yeshua of nazareth around that time who had some friends and said some antiauthoritarian stuff. because lots of people did. it would be statistically unlikely if every josh in town was nice about the roman occupation for like two hundred years.'

-was that josh back then our big boy jesus christ the son of god who actually existed? if he didn't, the church invented him anyway. if he did, it wouldn't matter. the stated position of the christian faith is that he definitely for sure existed and absolutely as a fact did all that stuff, and you have to believe it no matter what.

-but there's no proof and im not christian. so no. i think you guys made the whole thing up.

[moonlitlex]

replying to this reblog specifically not to single prev out but because this is a prominent line of thought i see when people justify anti-intellectualism and poor media literacy and i take issue with it as both a writer and a literature major.

the point of english class (or whatever language you studied in) was to teach people that all media has meaning even if the author did not intend for it to be there (even though this was often communicated poorly).

it does not matter if you, as the author, intended something to mean something. if that is a reasonable reading of your work— if it can be reasonably supported through textual evidence and good faith analysis of your work— then that is a valid interpretation.

maybe the author did just pick a random colour for the curtains to be, and that colour happened to be blue. but maybe through reading the story we see that it's thematically centered around discussing the impact of depression on this character's life. and in that case it is not unreasonable to interpret the blue curtains as further symbolism of said depression. everyone goes on and on about death of the author, but this is what death of the author means. the author's intentions are irrelevant. the only thing that matters is the text, and whether your analysis of the text is supported by textual evidence.

further, plenty of the choices that you make as a writer seem inconsequential when you make them, but they are still choices informed by your life, your experiences, your values, your worldview. it fundamentally informs every aspect of your work, even though it does not feel that way. and art and media are not a one way interaction. you aren't a dead receptacle for the author's work. your life, experiences, values, and worldview as a reader informs your understanding of the work as well. this is why capitalists constantly interpret animal farm as communist and vice versa - animal farm is, at its core, anti-authoritarian. and the biases that people have lead to them associating authoritarianism with the thing they don't like and freedom with the thing they do like. every analysis someone writes is them in conversation with the text.

good media literacy requires understanding all of these things

Been talking about this with friends so I present to you, the cursed spectrum of media literacy

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[fictionadventurer]

The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Well this is a difference of opinion generally speaking. Because you find it to be racist. But a couple of things of note. One Elon Musk is actually from South Africa so he has a general understanding of some of the things that have happened throughout South Africa's history.

Secondly, is they are actually being murdered on the premise of their ethnicity. This is non-deniable unless you just cannot fathom another group of people committing genocide against people who are white. Thirdly, it is an actual reality that the amount of people coming over here are about 59. The people seeking to come here from literally every other country have been flooding into this country illegally with the help of the previous administration. And there is proof that Biden actually walled off individuals from coming here legally and getting visas if they were white. Hell you can go back and look at moist criticals stream, where he goes into detail talking about how his team of swedish? Esports players were blocked entry into the United States while Biden's administration was forcibly keeping the southern border open.

And when you stretch out your arm to attempt to equate those two things and say that I'm making it about race, no I'm making an observation. That and the refugees that we're being demanded to take do not share our Western values in the slightest. And let's face it because it's necessary to do so. Islam is not a Western friendly faith. Most Eastern nations generally speaking, have difficulty assimilating into varying countries. And leftists generally speaking don't want assimilation of people because they value strife violence and chaos.

Because it gives them a platform to run on. Not only that but the vast swath of individuals that came here illegally were from mostly black and or brown majority countries. But the only people who seem to be making a big deal out of 59 people, is Democrats who want this to be about race. It's not about race though. These South Africans will fit into American society more easily because they have European values. And on top of which, they are actual families made up of men women and children of varying ages. Most of the refugees we've been told to take in are thousands to hundreds of thousands of military aged men and boys. So people who not only will not generally assimilate to Western culture. But will inevitably demand for the death of this country while raising their own countries flag and parading it around. And in the tens of thousands plus.

So it's not hypocritical. It's not racist. And the only people who have an issue with this, are people who themselves are racist and don't believe white genocide is possible.

Do Trump and Musk understand how hypocritical and, frankly, racist they sound being so moved by the plight of white South Africans while gleefully telling pretty much every other asylum seeker in our country to get the fuck out?

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Hey just so you know vinecoveredgarden is a propara (pro paraphilia) pro-transID radqueer

jesus christ this was a word fucking salad. can you guys please fucking relax. did you know i can agree with a post's message without knowing the OP or following the OP nor agreeing with everything OP believes in. did you know that was possible.

[fandom-geek]

so i've been catching up on call the midwife and finally watched the latest episode (s14e4), and this line caught my eye:

"We journey in faith. We must permit all doubt, for it is only through doubt that we can find its opposite."

which naturally made me think of conclave, since that also talks a lot about doubt and faith/certainty - namely two particular quotes:

"Let me tell you there is one sin I have come to fear above all others. Certainty. Certainty is the great enemy of unity. Certainty is the deadly enemy of tolerance. [...] Our faith is a living thing precisely because it walks hand-in-hand with doubt. If there was only certainty and no doubt, there would be no mystery. And therefore no need for faith."

and obviously CTM has this quote coming from sister julienne, an anglican nun, whereas conclave is catholic. but i'm just kinda fascinated by how they're two diametrically opposed quotes despite their similarities. cardinal lawrence views doubt as the foundation for faith and thus the two are the same, whereas sister julienne sees it as a way to find faith (but not the same). it's especially interesting since conclave is dealing with a church that is torn btwn change and stasis, whereas call the midwife's nuns are dealing with a changing world that is increasingly uncomfortable (and rightly so) about the role of religion in healthcare.

idk if sister julienne's view is typical to anglicanism, but as an atheist who was raised catholic, i've gotta say that i prefer cardinal lawrence's view of faith and doubt. it just seems... so much more accepting of human psychology.

[lesenbyan]

Hi!! I'm welcome to like actually talking to you about the Israel/palestine conflict and the entire conflict is that it's zionism, not antisemitism that's the issue. Palestine is getting airstriked and bombed endlessly by Israel, and if it were just because of Hamas maybe people would be understanding but Israel is bombing the WEST BANK, where Hamas has no control, so they just have no excuse there. It's up to you to believe what you believe but I'm just here to provide a bit more information.

I js realized I forgot smh oops but like yes what Hamas is doing *is* bad, but Israel is going as normal. There was a reporter there who recently pretended to be hiding from bombs and yet there were people cycling in the background. Hamas is also only fighting back because Israel has been occupying their land for years, literally taking their homes and staying there and then killing them. IS what Hamas is doing bad? yes. But if Palestine stops fighting there will be no more Palestine. If Israel stops fighting there will be peace. Palestine has no electricity, no more places to put bodies. those in Israel are making bread and making tiktoks on how they have water. If you have a different opinion, then id love to see why and actually discuss. But its important to know these things :)) thanks for hearing me out!

while much more polite about it, you've made the same assumption as the anons I blocked before turning off the option; I'm not saying you should support Israel. I'm not even saying I'm pro-Israel. What I know about the conflict is that there's a lot more going on than I think I've the capability to understand and definitely a lot more going on than can be summarized in two asks.

You, and the two anons i blocked, are responding to a post I made venting about a specific person and a specific post, without the context of the person or post. While I appreciate your attempt to educate, I don't even know enough for what you're saying to be any kind of explanation. I do not know what is going on, I do not think I am capable of understanding what is happening, esp since I can't understand a lot of politics in the US already which is arguably less of a minefield.

I was responding to a post that phrased it as tho there were only teo sides; Israel and Hamas and was publicly calling someone out fo being pro Israel which in turn sounded like they were calling for support for Hamas. Which is also very not good bc they are actively antisemitic. I've not watched the Jews I follow mourn and panic this last week or so for you to say it's not about that. It might not only be about that, but it is a factor.

I also, notably, said nothing about Palestine itself in the post. from what little I understand, yeah Palestine should defend itself and nothing I said in the post said or even implied differently.

While I understand this is an attempt at good faith education, and do appreciate that intent, you have also made a number of assumptions that get in the way of that. I don't have a different opinion bc I don't know enough to have an opinion past "Hamas bad." I've deleted the posts bc I've spent enough time with my OCD obsessing about if I said the wrong thing or whatever. I have freely admitted the fact I don't know things and the attempts I've made to understand have not worked. I do not think I am capable of understanding. I'm going to listen to the Jews I follow and follow their lead.

I apologize if this sounds rude or terse or anything, as stated my OCD's being spiraling and panicking about being misunderstood on that post since the anons and I've not been sleeping well and woke up to this. I don't mean to sound rude, simply further explain that I know barely anything.

[iruiion]

i dont want to be insane at other people on the internet & be a jttw purist but i absolutely am and literally am 🤏🤏🤏🤏thiiiiiis close to Erm Actually..!!🤓👆ing every single jttwrelated post i find in hastag dbz sorrted most recent

[bigfatbreak]

Me thinks Clark didn't realize until now how bad the situation in Paris really is and might just interfere now.

Correct!

I don't know if I'll have the time to draw it, but essentially higher-powered supers are banned from entering France, in the very least the Paris area, because an akumatized superhero with more power than Ladybug or Chaton could lead to devastating results. Due to this, media outlets regarding Hawkmoth and that situation are throttled to specifically France, as no one wants Hawkmoth gaining allies through outside supervillains via the media. HM/Gabe hasn't caught onto that fact yet, since its something hush-hush between LB and the local government, but Marinette did publish a paper regarding a character profile of Hawkmoth and how current Akuma function, as well as a deep dive into how its effecting the Parisian population.

Chock full of primary sources, interviews, and even one on one dialogue with Chat Noir and Ladybug, naturally the study gained attention. It was meant for France, for the public to understand the current stakes and how now more than ever, people need to extend sympathy, patience, and understanding to each other, and how negativity is as healthy as positivity and must be nurtured and resolved with care. It was meant as a public notice - to not destroy one another or shut down, to instead have faith in one another and to work as a community, even if their faith in LB/CN was to waiver, that you can always trust your friends and family to help you in times of great tragedy and stress.

It was popularized both as a letter to the public, and as a research paper regarding Akumas; as a result, it was eventually translated and squeaked out under the French censors accidentally, as its spread was entirely minimal. However, it wasn't so minimal that it wouldn't eventually end up on the desk of a woman looking into Superhero news, aka, Lois Lane. It was a solid read, if not a bit garbled, since auto-translators were used instead of a real person, and it was passed to Clark to read.

The issue in France didn't seem so terrible from words on a page, and not only that, the League agreed that all in all, major supers needed to stay out of France for their own protection.

however, looking at the face of the girl that published the article speaks of a different story.

[dianight]

Let's talk about transandrophobia. And by that I mean let me monologue about my findings browsing the tag and checking related blogs.

For context, most of my (second hand) interactions with it are from additions to the posts of transfeminists where random people antagonize them. Also from knowledge about how a certain user who helped popularize the term and gets referenced on posts about it (and other adjacent pawns) just happens to be a piledriver for callouts that just happen to target trans women. So you will excuse me for being biased and not going into this with a naive mindset.

And I will say that I've engaged with this in significantly more good faith than it deserves. My hope was that perhaps most people using the term were doing it out of ignorance and not malicious intent. I haven't really "counted" or done any actual note taking for this, it's more of a general observation that coalesced over a few days after I did all that digging so numbers are rough estimates and not accurate numbers. I checked about 50 pages on both "latest" and "top" on the tag, aswell as checking the recommended blogs.

Ignoring certain users who use the tag to highlight how absurd the mere concept of it is, since it's just mainly one woman having fun(?) cluttering (neutral) the tag and a few others mocking posts about it; we can roughly put the people who talk about transandrophobia in 3 groups. There is potential for overlap and I reiterate, my good faith is going to skew this toward a more positive vision than reality.

The first group are mostly trans men and a few trans women who would define transandrophobia as transphobia targeted at trans men, which is not at all what the term means nor what its history or actual use is. This group was around 30-40% of the posts, but one has to keep in mind that this was from going over the posts with the tag on their blogs. Posts that would talk about their experiences being the targets of transphobia and calling it transandrophobia.

Not to sound condescending, but getting treated differently to your cis peers (before coming out OR even knowing you are trans), pushback against your transition and toward the closet, bureaucratic hurdles and general hostility to being "the other" is not a transmasc exclusive thing and it's in fact "just" transphobia. Even the supposedly unique to trans men experience of having issues with reproductive health... also happens to trans women, it's the general transphobia of medical professionals. It manifests in different ways, that's it.

Most of the transmascs on this group seem to be under the impression that transandrophobia is an analogous term to transmisogyny that simply describes the targeted transphobia to transmascs and transfems respectively. I understand their posts and it was painful to read many of them, but ultimately what they describe is called transphobia. Most of the (few) transfems on this group were making additions in defense/support of trans men on those same previous posts.

That's as good as it gets though. I really hope the 30-40% estimate is real because the alternative is grim, and as a disclaimer I have (over time) blocked a massive amount of those users who go on posts about transmisogyny to start fights. Those hostile users are very likely to use the tag and be part of the second or third groups, which means that accounting for all the people I've blocked the first group percentage is likely to be <30%.

The second group are cryptoterfs. Or alternatively, people with ideas so bioessentialist that they are indistinguishable from cryptoterfs. I have found only two blogs that were openly "gc" and straight up interacting with open terfs, but many of them had their rethoric and semirelated posts all over and sometimes even the recommended blogs would give it away. Possibly 10% of the tag users belong to this group.

The main giveaway beyond the previous ones seems to be a really transphobic view that what trans men experience as transphobia is really just misogyny. So when they experience that misogyny as trans men it's called transandrophobia. Don't ask me what logic this is, but I've seen it repeated on their blogs so whatever is going on in their brains they seem to commonly agree that trans men are "just" experiencing misogyny. The obvious implication always, always being that trans men are women, a very transphobic idea.

There were some users who are part of the previously mentioned overlap. They will have some posts that tangentially allude at that trans men = women idea but never quite reblog or interact or expand those transphobic views. But they would also be part of the third group.

The third group are transmisogynists. No other way to put it. And I don't mean it in the casual way, we are all kind of transmisogynistic due to society and that's it; I mean it in the openly in opposition to transfeminists and actively spreading hateful and harmful rethoric kind of way. More than half the users of the tag are part of this group.

It's a key difference but a very telling one; where the first group talked about their experiences and how they are affected by transphobia (incorrectly labeling it) the third group engages in reactionary behaviors, always blaming/harassing/critizicing transfeminists posts. It's a genuinely weird feeling to see a post you agree with, along the lines of "men benefit from patriachy" and the "critique" from these users being "how dare these [insert misgendering term] insinuate that trans men are oppressing them".

Reading anything in bad faith, calls for "unity" while at the same reblogging from and interacting with known callout spearheads, honestly shocking hostility to trans women all over their posts and a general very open opposition to any transfeminist theory. Like I was genuinely speechless at some of the posts.

Literally calling random trans women transphobic. Screenshots without context to make it seem like the OP is saying the literal opposite of what she was saying. Congratulatory posts about getting people banned. Straight up callouts.

And I was hoping that the first group would be the majority, with a few bad apples and the expected bad actors.

My conclusion is very simple. Stop using the term transandrophobia. It has no good faith uses, what trans men experience is transphobia since misandry is not a real structural force and misogyny is. Most of its users are hostile to and a danger to trans women in this website, and somehow terf rethoric is generally accepted by them.

Transandrophobia doesn't exist.

[ashbur]

hi! hello! hi! idk if i have told you before but you are literally just so os nice and considerate and i appreciate you so much! also based as fuck, i love reading through your posts, i usually refrain from adding ob things or whatver bc i am white and european so i don't want to stick my opiniond on your stuff but i always read through them!

anyway, i hope you're having a great day or night or morning or whatever time it is for you<33

emmi that is so so kind of you. secretly I'm actually a huge bitch but I'm only allowed to be bitchy sometimes as a treat. it's so easy to be nice to you actually you are so chill and funny and epic and friendly and you don't make kind interactions difficult at all.

also you are 300% still allowed to have thoughts and opinions near me I prommy. you may be white and european but you're a person with perspectives and experiences that are just as real as anyone else's. like just don't be combative with or try to talk over poc about poc topics and you're literally fine. you have a limited perspective on certain issues but so does literally everyone else on earth. tbh within any axis of privilege/oppression, the culture of Any Person With Privilege I Don't Have Is Inherently Actively Oppressing Me And Needs To Shut Up Forever can be cathartic for disadvantaged people but ultimately leads to a lot of social regression in the long run. unpacking and disassembling systems of oppression can only be effectively accomplished as a dialogue, not a TED Talk.

[riversenchanted]

My advice for your Chiron placement:

- find your house placement and the sign it’s in for most accurate message (example: Chiron in the 1st house in sign of Scorpio)

Chiron 1st house/ Aries: Your wound is connected to your personal expression and authenticity. Leading to insecurity, physical ailments, suppressed anger,and shame. This can create a disconnect between how you present yourself and how you truly feel.

To heal this wound, embrace radical self-acceptance and trust your instincts. Take a leap of faith by setting boundaries, both with others and yourself. Hold yourself accountable for your desires and advocate for your needs. Challenge negative self-talk and self-doubt by asking, “What would my life look like if I let go of others expectations and pursued what I truly want?” With Chiron in the 1st house, it's essential to prioritize your own needs. Regularly check in with yourself to ensure your actions align with your true desires rather than people-pleasing. Remember to show yourself compassion and love, by doing so you encourage others around you to do the same and can help heal those who may struggle in the same ways you do!

Chiron 2nd house/ Taurus:

Your deepest wound relates to material security, self-worth, and stability. You may have felt unsupported at times, leading to a sense of constant lack and difficulty relaxing in the present moment.

To heal, recognize that your worth is not tied to money or possessions. Address feelings of unworthiness stemming from past trauma and explore areas where you may be settling for less due to fear of scarcity. Open yourself to new opportunities for abundance and let go of unnecessary attachments driven by the fear of loss or loneliness.

Address challenges with balancing spending and saving or even hoarding. By confronting these fears, you can begin to heal and find balance in your life. By healing these areas of life you can help others that struggle in these areas as well!

Chiron 3rd house/ Gemini:

Your wound lies in communication, social interactions, and understanding. You may struggle with learning disabilities or speech issues, or just feeling unheard or misunderstood. This can lead to social anxiety and difficulty connecting with others, especially in your early years.

To heal, focus on detaching from others opinions of you. Journaling, writing, and public speaking can help you find your voice. Surround yourself with accepting people and practice mindful communication and active listening. By nurturing this pain, you can transform it into a strength, becoming an effective communicator and even helping others who face similar challenges!

Chiron in 4th House/Cancer:

Your deepest wound relates to family, home life, and emotional stability. Growing up, you may have faced significant hardships that impacted your sense of safety. Healing can be challenging since family is central to your identity. Create a sanctuary at home and build a chosen family to foster support. If safe, work on healing toxic family dynamics. As a generational curse breaker, you may feel alienated, but nurturing yourself will help you appreciate your connections and establish a safe, loving home environment. By creating a safe stable home life you end generational issues and can help heal others who struggle with the same issues.

Chiron in 5th House/Leo:

Your wound lies in creativity, self-expression, and joy. You might struggle with taking up space, feeling unworthy or annoying, even when well-received. Early experiences of bullying or rejection may contribute to these feelings. To heal, identify the root of your insecurities and explore creative outlets to express yourself positively. Cultivate self-trust and avoid second-guessing. Affirmations of self-love and acceptance are essential for building confidence and embracing your true self. By being your most authentic self you encourage others around you to do the same.

Chiron in 6th House/Virgo:

Your wound revolves around health, wellness, and routine. You may overextend yourself, prioritizing others needs at the expense of your own, which can lead to physical or mental health struggles. You may have grown up caring for a loved one in some way or were placed in a situation where your needs often came second, so you might lack boundaries in balancing self-care vs caregiving. To heal, simplify your daily life and establish a structured routine that prioritizes your health. By focusing on self-care and setting practical boundaries for yourself you can also become a healer for others facing similar challenges.

Chiron in 7th House/Libra:

Your wound is centered on personal relationships, partnerships, and justice. You may struggle with trauma in relationships or find it difficult to connect deeply with others, leading to feelings of confusion and isolation. Healing comes from focusing on your individual goals and cultivating independence. It’s essential to balance your needs with those of others, avoid settling for attention, and take the time to truly know people before committing. Additionally, work on opening your heart and learning to trust again after past traumas.

Chiron in 8th House/Scorpio:

Your deepest wound involves intimacy, trust, and shared resources. Past trauma may create fears around vulnerability, making emotional connections difficult. This placement indicates a profound healing journey that requires deep emotional transformation. You will face challenges that confront your fears, often leaving you feeling powerless. However, like a phoenix, you can rise stronger. To heal, explore your innermost self, allow yourself to feel your emotions, and confront your traumas. Embrace surrender and discover your personal strength amidst the darkness. This placement is an indication of being a powerful healer, as you learn to alchemize your pain you increase your personal power and help empower others by doing so.

Chiron in 9th House/Sagittarius:

Your wound centers on spirituality, religion, and faith. Past experiences may have led you to question your beliefs, creating a rift in your spiritual understanding. You might feel betrayed by life and struggle to see the bigger picture, often facing religious trauma or issues with higher education. To heal, engage with topics like psychology, culture, spirituality, and religion. Open yourself to diverse belief systems and experiences. Finding purpose is key to your healing, and accepting your past as part of your journey will help you on your path of soul-searching. By healing these areas of your life you may also help others who feel lost in life as well!

Chiron 10th house/ Capricorn:

Your wounds are around career, public image, father/fatherhood, and authority. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness in the professional realm, often facing challenges with authority figures or societal expectations. You may have issues stepping into a leadership role or question your ability to lead confidently. Healing comes through redefining success on one's own terms, embracing leadership roles that feel authentic, and working to build self-worth independent of external validation. By helping others through mentorship or guidance, particularly in career-related matters, Chiron in the 10th house can find a sense of purpose and healing, turning past wounds into a source of wisdom and empowerment.

Chiron 11th house/ Aquarius: Your wounds are related to social groups, friendships, and one’s sense of belonging within a larger community or collective. Individuals with this placement may feel like outsiders or struggle with feeling accepted by their peers, leading to a deep sense of alienation or unworthiness in social circles. Healing occurs through embracing one's uniqueness and finding communities that truly resonate with their authentic self. By fostering deep, meaningful connections and learning to contribute to groups in a way that honors personal values. You can heal your sense of isolation, transforming past wounds into a source of strength and empathy for others.

Chiron 12th house/ Pisces:

Your wound is related to spirituality, empathy, and the sense of oneness with the universe. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feelings of confusion, disillusionment, or a lack of boundaries, often feeling overwhelmed by the suffering of others or disconnected from their own sense of purpose. Healing comes through developing a strong spiritual practice that helps them reconnect with their inner self and a sense of divine support. Embracing their intuitive gifts and learning to establish healthy emotional boundaries are key to healing, allowing them to offer compassion without losing themselves in the process. By transforming past wounds into a deep well of empathy and creativity, Chiron in Pisces can find healing through self-acceptance and a renewed connection to the spiritual or collective whole.