#that's rich coming from you kankri

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Cronus: Then I realized that I could make these percentages vwork for me. You see if I wvrite one letter to one supermodel asking her to marry me, the chances of my getting a yes are a million to one, right?

Kankri: C9nservatively.

Cronus: Therefore, if I vwrite thousands of letters to hundreds of different models, my percentages increase. The more letters I wvrite the better my chances.

Eridan: the man’s a genius.

Kankri: The man’s g9t m9re stamps than sanity.

[yanderes-galore]

would you maybe do a yandere fuchsia! karkat? like he’s a grouch and a rebel but at the same time an entitled brat…

Sure I can! I hope I do this right since I've only ever seen designs for an AU like this... but no personalities.

Yandere! Fuchsia! Karkat Concept

(Bloodswap AU)

Pairing: Matesprit♥️/Moirail♦️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Jealousy, Manipulation, Possessive behavior/Entitled behavior, Kidnapping, Clingy behavior, Blood mention, Murder/Culling, Dubious/Forced relationship.

For this AU I'm not sure if Karkat would keep the last name Vantas or take Feferi's last name, Peixes.

(It doesn't matter too much but I tagged both names for this fic)

Karkat would have some aspects of his usual personality, but also some from the Fuchsia Caste.

Such as when the wiki states this about the caste; "Highly emotional, Fuchsia signs are sensitive and anxious, and tend to spend a lot of time worrying-about the world, the future, and what others think of them. They are artistic and talented, but can suffer from crippling bouts of depression, holding themselves to impossibly high standards. They have rich fantasy lives, and can get so caught up in daydreams that they sometimes forget to actually do things."

This is an actual quote from The Extended Zodiac.

So, Karkat in this AU can be seen as emotionally driven.

He's an entitled and moody brat, but also incredibly anxious and sensitive.

Karkat would care about what his darling thinks about him, immediately panicking if you express negative emotions towards him.

Karkat definitely gets himself caught up in daydreams.

Usually ones involving you as his Matesprit or Moirail.

He would also hold himself at high standards, especially if he still sees himself as a leader.

For the most part this version of Karkat is similar to normal Karkat.

He's just more entitled due to his caste.

Along with being aquatic and his Lusus being Gl'bgolyb

Karkat in this AU has always been rebellious towards others.

For a long time he hasn't entirely enjoyed the stress that came with his role.

But at the same time... he likes getting what he wants.

Especially if that's you.

Karkat would definitely feel a bit forceful/desperate when it comes to you.

He feels it's an honor for you to be in one of his Quadrants... yet at the same time doesn't want you to hate him.

He definitely thinks of you often and tries to spoil you as much as he can.

He's only "behaved" around you.

This form of Karkat can seem intimidating... but he can be incredibly soft towards his obsession at times.

Karkat would probably lock his obsession in his Hive.

Which is terrifying because his Hive is underwater.

He'd have to find a way to make you breathe underwater as you're not aquatic... or he can keep you on the surface somehow.

Karkat comes off as needy.

Moirail or Matesprit... Karkat loves your attention on him.

Instead of his usual weapon I assume he'd have a trident because his bloodline is royalty in this. (Which makes me think... would Kankri and The Signless replace Meenah and The Condescension in this AU?)

Karkat wants compliance from his obsession, but he's also dependent on you.

If you express hatred towards him, Karkat noticeably shrinks away... muttering apologies for his anger before trying to smother you in affection.

He's a powerful prince due to his Lusus, probably even able to mind control like other Fuchsia bloods.

Karkat is capable of living a long time in this AU.

Karkat may get easily jealous of others since he feels entitled to you.

But it's no issue... he can manipulate them away from you or just cull them.

As bratty as he seems, Karkat can be controlled by you to a degree.

Desperate to have your attention... Karkat will do nearly anything to win you over.

Accessories, affection, gifts, pets, whatever.

As long as you reciprocate he'll be happy.

I can see Karkat being clingy due to his usual behavior and new Fuchsia traits.

He's scared to lose you... but let's be honest... he can't.

He'll isolate you to be his because he's a prince and soon to be Emperor.

He rules so he can have you if he wants!

So, Karkat in this AU can be Entitled, Bratty, Rebellious, Clingy, and Soft at times.

He seems cold but it's a front... in reality he's vulnerable towards you.

If anyone tries to take you from him, he doesn't mind painting the floor and walls in their blood.

Scared? Maybe you should be.

He's a ruler... he plans to fulfill such a role soon...

He wants you by his side for that.

Karkat is starved of affection, it's lonely on the top.

Just keep the prince and Emperor happy...

If not for him, for the sake of others... because culling is such an easy task for Karkat if it meant he could lose you to the lesser castes.

"No one else is worthy of me except you... you can't leave me. You listen to me... your Emperor!"

[palluniskillas]

Ideas for my 2009's humanstuck au:

• Nepeta, Sollux, Karkat and Terezi are close friends.(Karkat is their internet friend in common because he lives in Argentina and they live in the US).

• Nepeta is an otaku and fan of warriorcats, likes to rp with terezi and Feferi. Likes to draw and animate in her nintendo ds.

• Sollux is a computer wizard, a huge gamer (mostly plays Cod) and likes to spite Karkat and his gamer skills. He is a sarcastic king and charges people $20 to fix their computers.

• Sometimes Sollux pirates Nep's favorite animes for her and they watch them together.

• Terezi is blind in this au. She likes candy. A LOT(the reason why she wears braces) specially those cherry jelly gummies. She likes 90's fashion and watching dragon tales (couldn't be more proud about this fact)

• Feferi is a huge fan of everything sea related (coughmermaidscough). Attends to swimming lessons along with Eridan. Has a plethora of mermaid swimming tails. She also likes to take care of her fish pets, sometimes a little too much.

• Fef's mother is kind of absent, her big sister, Meenah, too. So the staff in her mansion take most care of her. Nonetheless, she always has a good spirit, even if she feels somewhat alone.

• Eridan is the typical snobby teen with straight A's and a rich family (which might be the reason for the A's). He often goes to parties with his "friends" in the academy, but really the only friend he has and understands him is Feferi. He often feels alone because his father leaves for business trips, leaving him with his excuse of an older brother.

• Eridan likes and owns all of the Harry Potter Saga (at the moment) but prefers not to nerd out in fear of rejection (only nerds out to Feferi). He is also an avid fan of greek history and mythology.

• Tavros (who is a pokémon encyclopedia) is close friends with Aradia, sometimes they trade pokémon cards and have a few matches. His family immigrated from Spain to Argentina.

• Tavros is best friends with Gamzee, they hang out often and have rap jam sessions with basic rap beats coming out of Tav's family computer.

• Gamzee is...you know how Gamzee is. He likes Porta and ICP, sometimes he ends up at the hospital for drinking too much soda. Likes drawing and making tye-dye tshirts. His father owns a huge furniture store but most people in town think the store is just a facade to hide more..criminal matters.

• Karkat sometimes hangs with Gamzee, but he's more close with Kanaya and Ter. He likes programming and playing Cod, but not as much as watching the pirated romcom cds he hides under his matress with Kan.

• Karkat also has a slight obsession with the telenovelas his dad watches(coughMaríaladelbarriocough), which are the same ones Kankri criticises for being too problematic.

• Kanaya attends a catholic school her mom is a teacher in with Karkat and Rose. She likes to buy fashion magazines and tries to copy the models with the patterns they provide. Has a small academic rivalry with Rose Lalonde, but there's also some sparks there.

• Aradia lives in the same neighbourhood as Karkat and Tavros, and is internet friends with Sollux, who she met on club penguin a few years ago. She is more of an outgoing kid, and is not often seen inside her house unless she is initiating an excavation in her backyard in search for bones. Any kind of bones.

• Aradia is also internet friends with Nepeta and Terezi (they talk sometimes in skype) they're planning to one day meet up in the future and play dnd together, with their new addition to the group, Vriska.

• Vriska lives in the US in Equius' neighborhood. She has been Terezi's friend on and off, because of differences between eachother. She also met Tavros on the online game "8 ball pool" and tries to teach him how to ace pool like her.

• Vriska is kind of the problem child in her school, a punk at heart. She skips school often and disrespects authorities. Nobody but Ter knows the reason behind this jealousy towards her older, more successful sister, Aranea (and perhaps some neglecting from her mother too).

• Vriska likes fantasy books (often where the hero is NOT weak and is VERY awesome) and likes to imagine herself in those worlds as a form of escapism. She also likes Avril Lavigne and has a pet spider, which is very demanding when it comes to food.

• Equius is the quiet but kind kid..if not a little weird. His family proudly owns a robotics company his father initiated in the 90's, Equius is the nervous heir in line.

• He is very close friends with Nepeta, to the point of having grown together. They have a small tradition of celebrating eachother's birthdays with a tea party. Nepeta likes her tea without milk, Equius prefers more milk than tea.

[nekoiscute]

explanation on future drawings dedicated to the AU of helluva boss

I'll explain how the two characters are structured until I make more of the homestuck world in this new type of drawing that I'm loving doing.

Let's start with Kankri Vantas, he was born in hell end up being a "lovely" imp but he will never be like the original i show you the differences between original and this of the universe funniest of silly scenes then the original Kankri we all know he is religious, he never lost his virginity is that he talks a lot to make a reader feel enormous hatred towards him. Well this Kankri from the helluva universe will not be so religious that he doesn't want to want a partner (even if the original wants it but without things to procreate), instead of being devoted to the lord of heaven he will be a religious of lucifer or satan depending on the group of situation, its body instead of a bright red or red on magenta tones shows a faded red with several white spots on the body. This reason because being hated by how he talks so much that he will talk here too but he will only use it to kill someone he hates by sending him to that point of killing the victim alone than getting his hands dirty, his horns are like those of the original only instead of 3 colors are only 2 colors. He can safely go to the human world but only if a sinner agrees to send this imp for evil or destructive business, the human form is like in his imp form but only hornless weird eyes and normal skin, in fact in one of these missions he knows Cronus who falls in love with the little imp is to get his attention he would do anything even kill himself to conquer him which in fact he does by dying in front of Kankri's eyes.

Let's move on to Cronus now, let's say that there are few differences between original and this shark, i could say that one a preferred to be a something that remain human that infected happened. but I don't see so many differences in his own personality that he wants to conquer anyone but failing with only one exception, he even if he became a sinner is like saying he became a royal from hell or an overlord but as a meme of course. As you can see him as a sinner he has the appearance of a dark purple striped shark he holds his iconic scar on his forehead both as a human and as a sinner, noting that on his wrists both dead and alive he cut himself which obviously reveals to Kankri that before knowing him, he was already doing it out of boredom or to get attention from someone of his friend or family. The character has obviously been put as his native nationality as italian demonstrating the italian culture on everything from food to clothes to greese he comes from rich family that whenever kankri asks him about them he will keep dodging his question saying more or changing the subject even knowing that the imp will kill anyone of his family if he wants to discover such madness for a demon from hell. With the addition that Cronus just arrived in hell he was put in the suicide circle where kankri obviously lives being a clever little devil to deceive humans. 

I hope you enjoyed these explanations I will make scenes or maybe comics about these two in this crazy world if you ever want them, you are free to write it in the comments or leave hearts or even reblog to show that you are interested. see ya guys!

[rogue-of-light]

I like to think the longer this goes on (probably a few hours, because none of these dudes are quitters apparently) the more pissed off/annoyed at dave karkat gets (naturally, but that's just how they are lmao) but kankri, not understanding that this is just their dynamic because like. he hasn't really stuck around every time dave's visted because of his good ol' disappearing act, fiNALLY says something, but it's like immediately a rant. just. right out the bat he's going on aabout emotional awareness or whatever the fuck (which is rich coming from him, but also probably hilarious considering how silly it must make him look from dave's perspective) -KPA

YEAH YEAH

Dave, looking at Kankri rant and then looking at Karkat who is a second away from ranting: yeah no you both are 100% brothers

[twviinaquariium2]

okay so, here’s some out of context snippets from the cronkri fic i’m possibly maybe writing (tw: nsfw, but no actual smut in these snippets):

Your fantasies carried your mind away from the conversation you had somehow found yourself in. The thought of his skin. The small clusters of blemishes that gathered on and around his cheekbones. You tried to imagine the texture they gave the otherwise radiant surface of his skin. You wanted so desperately to reach out and feel for yourself, to caress his cheek, tracing a delicate thumb across the details. You must have been staring but you couldn’t pull yourself away from taking it all in. The almost imperceptible blush of red that crept its way across the bridge of his nose and onto the apples of his cheeks.

You wondered what else could make him blush like that. What thoughts did he have that he didn’t want anyone else to know about? He probably had a lot, at least a few, you figured. You certainly had your fair share of scandalous and raunchy thoughts in your time. Actually, pretty regularly. Like thinking of your hands running through his thick, tousled hair. Grabbing fistfuls and pulling him close. Your faces mere moments apart, only the sweet anticipation of feeling those warm lips against your cool ones holding you back a few seconds longer.

Those fleeting thoughts of intimacy evaporated as the taste of salt and metal seeped on your tastebuds. Shit. Your unchecked daydreaming had caused your sharp and pointed teeth to press into your bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. That wasn’t particularly new, you’d done it a few times before while jerking it and, if you were honest, it had been hot. But not right now. Not when Kankri was right in front of you.

---

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about doing this before. Once or twice. Maybe more. Maybe several times. Per day. Okay, evidently, this scenario - or something like it - had run its course through his head enough for him to know that he liked it. Seeing you laid bare, exposed to him and vulnerable. It was surprising to you how much power he had right now and how easily he took to wielding that power. He was a natural. This entire situation was on his terms, you were here because he wanted you to be - a dynamic you, admittedly, had very little experience with. A mutual desire for intimacy. It wasn’t going to be anything more than this, you knew that, he made that quite clear. You were here because he wanted to get off. So did you. So that’s okay. Right?

---

First of all, don’t call me that. Second, you really don’t have to act that way around me. Or at all. But when you’re here I can assure you that there will be no judgement.

That sounded pretty rich coming from him. You’d figured that if there were anyone on Beforus you could count on judging you it’d be Kankri Vantas. But his words felt sincere in a way that you wouldn’t be able to describe if you tried. It was a feeling very deep down that you trusted him. As simple and as scary as that.

[autumnblogs]

Aside Glance: The Palpable Absence of the Dubiously Canonical

So you might have noticed throughout my writings that I have at the same time avoided directly talking about any of the expanded universe material while also occasionally alluding to it just enough to make it noticeable. At least, probably.

So to nobody’s surprise, let me say;

I don’t like the Homestuck Epilogues.

Before I dig into why, I wanna dig out what I think I actually do like about the Homestuck Epilogues. CW: for mentions of suicide, sexual violence, fascism, genocide, etc. Spoiler Warning for the Homestuck Epilogues, although if you haven’t read them by now, good; don’t. Keep reading for my thoughts on the Epilogues.

I do like that the Homestuck Epilogues say quite loudly and clearly that Fascism Is Terrible, and that Neo-Liberals are often Discount Fascists at best in terms of the material effects they have on the world that we have to share with them. They can often end up being interchangeable, and events can cause someone with a temperament predisposed toward Neo-liberalism down the path of bloody reactionary sentiment the way it did with Jane.

Homestuck has always been a pretty soundly anti-authoritarian work, and pretty aggressively contemporary work, so it makes sense that Homestuck^2 would reflect an internet culture rabidly obsessing about the politics of the Trump-Era United States, cast its villains as parallels to the Trump Administration, the grody religious movements it catered to, and the hyper-rich dingalings who benefited from it.

I do like that the Homestuck Epilogues develop the theme of criticizing the author and continues to call attention to its narrators, this time by explicitly casting them as villainous, and morally ambiguous/incomprehensible respectively. A central idea in Homestuck is the relationship between Author, Audience, and Characters, and the blending of the lines between them.

I like that it calls attention not just to the idea that a story’s narrator is an agent themselves, but also to the reality that the narrator may not have the best interests of either their readers, or their characters in mind. I like that the authorial powers of these characters are represented as overtly dangerous and evil when they are addressed at all.

I also like that the Homestuck Epilogues are rather brutally honest about the fact that sometimes, the people that you grew up with - your close friends - grow apart from you, and turn into kind of bad people. I’ve watched that happen in real time, and have had to stop hanging out with people because they just kind of... turned evil. That’s something that needs to be discussed more in fiction, and more honestly than the usual way. When the most visible example of like, someone you knew and loved turning into a bad person is like, Anakin Skywalker, maybe the world needs more stories about that.

So good, that’s what we’ve got for things I think were good to say. Well done.

What don’t I like about the Homestuck Epilogues?

In a word, I think, they are cruel. Relentlessly cruel. Even actively malicious.

Homestuck has, of course, always been rather mean-spirited and adversarial, pretty much since page one. And really, so has Andrew’s writing in general, since the days when he ran the site Team Special Olympics. His humor walks a fine line between and outrageous and genuinely offensive, as he dares you to say, “That’s fucked up!” so he can respond “it was just a joke, where’s your sense of humor?”

But the Epilogues transcend the usual sardonic envelope-pushing we can usually count on Andrew for, and instead opt to sink their teeth into the readers in an assault on the senses, and on the sensibilities. Reading the Epilogues is a brutal experience to endure emotionally, and in a lot of places, morally offensive.

And they are this way practically from the first page; our very first impression of the Homestuck Epilogues is a content warning that presents itself in such a way as to be almost unmistakably parodic. The stylization as an AO3 work, particularly in the context of Homestuck, where these sorts of overzealous content warning pages are associated with preachy jerks like Kankri, it comes across as a direct challenge to the viewer, and by a challenge, I really mean an attack. It is a mean-spirited joke at the expense of people who have a desire to curate their media experience - and then the authors have the gall to say that the one of the goals of the Epilogues is to challenge people to curate their media more.

Every time a character could conceivably make a bad decision, or become a more ill-conceived version of themselves, they somehow manage it, which becomes all the more unbearable because of the identification of character and audience that has been the case throughout all of Homestuck. If Homestuck introduces us to this entire cast and says, this is you, the Epilogues seem to follow up with and there is nothing good about you. Jade Harley somehow transforms into a grotesque caricature of a trans-woman, a girl who is sexually incontinent and predatory in a way that is directly tied to her having a dog penis - a state of being which the text variously slut-shames her for in Meat, or alternatively uses to blame her for ruining Dave and Karkat’s relationship in Candy.

John Egbert is severely depressed and dysfunctional, and this leads him either to go off and kill Lord English to chase the thrill of adventure and his own sense of purpose (in direct opposition to the all-but-explicitly-stated takeaway from Homestuck which Dave gives us, that the better option is to just leave the story alone altogether - explicitly the worst decision he could make according to the rules of Homestuck) or descend into decades of nihilistic solipsism while the world disintegrates around him.

Dirk’s worst natures take over him and transform him into a person who can only conceivably be satisfied either by becoming an arch-villain, or by murdering himself.

The Epilogues are aggressively cruel to Jake English, choosing to double down on the lack of emotional resolution he suffered from at the end of Homestuck, and squarely placing the blame for his own misery on his own shoulders, in a way which is pretty hard to read around, which is part and parcel of the general malice which Homestuck has historically treated mentally ill characters with. Nearly all the kids in Homestuck have suffered incomprehensible levels of mental and physical abuse, and the text expects them to simply overcome it sheerly by force of will. Sure, Jake is miserable but it’s his own fault, the text seems to say; if he’d just get his act together, like Dave, maybe he could get on with his life without being mind-broken by Dirk, or raped and whipped by Jane.

This isn’t even to delve into the flagship reveal of Homestuck 2, that Rose and Jade in the Candy Timeline have not only had a daughter of their own (without telling Kanaya), but that furthermore they have replicated their own trauma in her. Rose and Jade’s daughter has grown up completely emotionally alone, in the care of her Moms’ archenemy.

The point in all of this is not that the Epilogues have made everyone behave out of character or anything like that - I think it’s clear after a re-read especially that all of this is a conceivable direction that these characters could have taken. Rather, the Epilogues reliably choose to believe the worst of the characters of Homestuck in terms of their writing decisions. Everyone always makes the worst decision that they could make, or at the very least, nearly the worst. And because of the identification of reader and character, we can’t help but take away from that a sense that this is what the authors think of us as well.

And in case it wasn’t stated explicitly enough, a running theme throughout the Epilogues is that all this conflict and badness taking place is, to some extent or another, because we the audience are looking at it. As Andrew stated in relation to the Epilogues, there’s a kind of Happily Ever After possibility bubble around the characters that intrinsically collapses into conflict the moment we observe the events again - in other words, by participating in a story, we the audience members are somehow complicit in the characters’ suffering. Yet not all stories must be driven by conflict - and who triumphs and who fails in that conflict says a lot about what a story has to say about real life.

The Epilogues engage in a kind of voyeuristic cruelty, a kind of pessimism and cynicism, a kind of relentless ugliness that I have seldom seen, and to what end? The whole thing seems to me an attack on the audience.

Aside from general, abstracted claims toward authorial intent (which I think is there), I also want to say that, I can’t emotionally engage with the Epilogues, for a personal reason; as somebody who has struggled with almost daily suicidal ideation for most of my adult life, the way that the Epilogues deal with that subject goes from troubling to malicious and hostile in its treatment of Dirk’s suicide.

And staying personal, while I haven’t had to deal with some of the other sensitive topics that the Epilogues handle recklessly, handle them recklessly they do - Jake is serially raped by Jane, and in a way that he serves as a vehicle to move the plot forward, rather than with any kind of compassion for Jake’s condition. The possibility that Tavros Crocker might be being molested by Gamzee is brought up flippantly in one scene and played off as a joke.

The Homestuck Epilogues play at maturity through handling dark themes and sensitive topics, and reveal a profound immaturity in their authors because of the ways in which they are cruelly, insensitively handled over and over again.

I guess I’ll close with the least egregious thing. The Homestuck Epilogues just aren’t funny. Even at its bleakest, Homestuck has always been funny. In their relentless pursuit of cruelty, and the shared misery of their audience and characters, the Homestuck Epilogues forgo even this most basic element of Homestuck, which Andrew has always described as being basically a comedy.

Anyway; I will not be doing a thorough analysis of the Epilogues. I hate them too much and they suck.

[birriabirria]

i’ve talked about karkat being a singer or a siren before and about magical music but what if… karkat having magical voice? or having a magic that when he plays his harp or sings, it just charms people. his singing can make flowers grow and bloom! and karkat has to deal with courts trying to convince him to be their bard. if they want a bard, they can fucking ask hire one!! karkat spends his days running away from people! karkat knows that his voice, his singing is amazing of course but if people could just leave him alone! just give him coins and listen to his song then *leave* karkat is rich because the world and people just… *give* him things. karkat was by a river and he made up a song about not having any money and the river suddenly had *gold*!!! karkat asks for coins when he sings and people give him so many!!! also. karkat keeps getting kidnapped. he got kidnapped when he was thirteen and he and his family realized with horror that karkat will get kidnapped again and again and again for the rest of his life by the third kidnapping, karkat just massively annoyed. these people are making him miss meeting-up with his friends!!! karkat and his family are rich enough to hire people to guard him and rescue him when he gets kidnapped again. is it the striders? yeah. they’re all confused why they need to guard this tiny thing but by the fourth kidnapping, they’re all massively annoyed and thinking about setting the kidnappers’ place on fire KARKAT BREAKS THE MAJORITY OF HIS INSTRUMENTS BECAUSE HE HITS USES THEM TO HIT PEOPLE and karkat’s basically a pop star? lmao karkat and his family and eventually the striders get pretty blase about the kidnappings kghljhljhl someone comes for karkat and bro just absentmindedly picks them up and throws them aside KJGKKJGKJG dirk: Maybe we can put you in a castle somewhere? karkat: you think my family hasn’t tried that??? karkat: someone laid siege when we just settled damn dirk: Well, fuck. dirk: I got nothing. karkat: welcome to my life!!! karkat: we had to pawn off the castle dave: how the fuck do you pawn off a castle??? karkat: i don’t fucking know either karkat: but grandma was very resourceful and managed it! ooooh the other vantases have magical voices too! but cancri and kankri don’t get kidnapped much or even at all! kidnapping cancri or kankri means that when they start a lecture, their voices makes it that people listen and remember! and talks about reforms and the better uses of taxes and treating people better, that’s all very terrible! carcata has a knife and isn’t afraid to use it. stabbings don’t have to fatal after all! but people still kidnap him for some reason? people still find him very charming! karkat’s the easiest to deal with because he really just wants to sing. oh! the striders’ reaction to karkat! the first they see karkat, they’re confused. this is the person people are so in love with??? and then they hear him sing and they go oh, i love you and when they get hired to be karkat’s bodyguards, they’re kinda giddy? they get to be close to him! and the striders’ want to kidnap karkat too! but they don’t because, that would be counterproductive!!!! and the striders’ get to know karkat. and karkat is grumpy and foul-mouthed and loud and hits people with his instruments and the striders’ go …oh i like you. that sense of awe and love felt out of hearing karkat sing doesn’t fully go away but this sincere fondness for who karkat is there too!

[superhells]

Latula RPer looking for a Kankri, Mituna, Porrim, or Cronus. Either DM me or send me a message on my discord, cryptidfemme#5313

I’d love to do this arguably simple idea of your character of choice falling in love with Latula and going through their last year of high school together. It's almost like a dating sim! Will Latula return your feelings or will she think you're just a "Totally rad friend". This AU takes place in a coastal, southern Californian city. While it's waterfront and suburban neighborhoods were idyllic, the inner city and poor neighborhoods were less than appealing. It’s the perfect place for a cliché, coming of age teen flick.

It is senior year for the class of 2006. This was their last year, the beginning of their transition into adulthood. With that comes romance, tragedy, drama, you know, all that cliché teenage crap. Please bring the teenage drama! I eat that stuff right up! Give me melodramatic teenage angst!

We can discuss more in depth ideas when you connect! I’m super interested in this idea and hope to hear from you! Below is character descriptions

CHARACTERS:

Latula: Mexican-Puerto Rican. Daughter of a judge who’s not home a lot of the time so she often takes care of her little sister. Works at the bodega on the corner next to her house on weekends for extra cash. They aren’t well off by any means, but they manage to get by. Despite having a bit of an overwhelming personality, it’s hard to dislike her. Though, of course her popularity with boys has led to some dumb assumptions, but she’s never even really dated anyone before. She’d like to change that before senior year ends. She’s a bit competitive, and by a bit I mean she once challenged everyone in her local arcade to a Street Fighter tournament because she was bored; she also spends her free time embarrassing people at the skatepark with her skills. She does it half out of spite of dumb sexist teenage boys, half to inspire the other girls there to kick ass as well.

Kankri: Cuban-American. The childhood/family friend. Very involved in their local church since his dad is the priest and lives in the same neighborhood as Latula. They still hang out, half because they’re what Kankri would call “close friends”, and half because their little siblings are too. He’s had a crush on her since they were young kids, not that he’d ever let her know. He’s not a goody two-shoes per say, but he could definitely use some more teenage rebellion. Perhaps it’s the Catholic repression of his formative years, or maybe it’s the fact that it’s his senior year, the last year before real adulthood, but he’s becoming a bit more open to breaking the rules. Plus, going to parties with Latula doesn’t sound so bad (and it definitely isn’t because Porrim explained the rules of spin the bottle to him).

Mituna: Russian, German and Chinese. The best friend. Lives near the waterfront with his little brother and data engineer parents. He was in an electrical fire as a child which left him with severe scarring around his eyes and forehead. Hardcore stoner. His dad bought him a van (that he’s since personalized with graffiti and stickers) for his 16th birthday and he hotboxes it at least once a day, usually with Latula. Way smarter than he looks, so he’s underestimated quite often; one of his teachers’ is convinced he’s cheating somehow because there’s no way the kid that comes in smelling like pot everyday is acing these tests but alas. Unfortunately, his autism makes him an outcast in school.

Porrim: Afro-Native (Chumash). The new friend. Leader of Pink Fists, a women's’ empowerment club at their high school. She often attends protests (peaceful and not) and meet ups. Because of her outspoken and confident nature, she’s the subject of many awful rumors which have branded her as an outcast-- more than than the whole social justice thing did. Everything from she secretly slept with people for more, or that she was working night shifts to pay for a child, to having multiple diseases. Whatever, people like to talk. Since her mom is close with Kanrki’s father, she’s close friends with Kankri, despite not being very involved in the church.

Cronus: Irish-Italian and Filipino. The popular guy with a heart of gold. Known as their school’s resident heartbreaker, his reputation definitely isn’t the best. Rumor has it that he’s slept with the whole cheerleading team, also that he probably has an illegitimate child out there. It’s all lies for the most part, obviously, but he wasn’t going to deny them and lose that clout. Maybe it’s the rich parents, maybe it’s the high expectations set upon him from a young age, maybe it’s the toxic masculine environment he’s in, but it’s forced him to keep up this façade of a tough bad boy with no feelings. It’s his last year of high school however, so he wants to change, he wants people to get to know the real him. Unfortunately, it’s not going so well.

[purrfectstrangers]

One of these days you'll have to make a proper account, Gamzanon~ Or just eat mine~ ♡

Running commentary will be in brackets~

Favorite Preds Per Caste ~ Lowbloods

Consider this my Valentines Day special. Alternia is filled with predators of all shapes and sizes. Today we'll be listing all of them. All preds from all castes listed from most favorite to least.

With special exception to Wanshi, Tirona, Karako, the Soleil Twins, and Amisia. Most people on this list will be aged up, but these characters are literally toddlers. No amount of aging up will make including them not feel creepy. Keep kids out of vore. [Damn right. I knew you were a decent sort]

And, finally, this will be divided into three parts. Lowbloods, Midbloods, and Highbloods. Here's part one.

With that out of the way, let's get on with the show~

Red Bloods

Karkat Vantas [♡♡♡♡]

Starting out strong with everyone's favorite cantankerous carnivore. 

He's easily a top ten pred. His layered personality means you can make him into whatever kind of pred you want him to be. He can smugly trash talk a pleading prey like no other or fret over over a willing meal just as well as any jade blood. He's often underestimated by his friends, which makes him ideal for snacking on smug Serkets or devouring delicious Daves. Plus, a God-Tier getting digested by a lowly mortal is A+ material and Karkat lends himself especially well to that. With an appetite to match his anger, Karkat gives a whole new definition to the term "hangry".

"I WASN'T KIDDING WHEN I SAID I WAS YOUR GOD."

[It helps of course that I find Karkat so fucking hot. Padding out his ass after weiggling enough yo make his cherry red bulge shoot hands free is perfect, especially if you work him into a tizzy with some teasing from inside~]

Kankri Vantas

Kankri's a particularly condescending carnivore and I think that works wonders.

His stuck up self righteous attitude makes him magnificent at smugly putting prey in their place and the fact that no one takes him seriously makes him ideal for taking down apex predators. You know damn well he's got a speech prepared about why you should be prey. Unlike Karkat, he isn't quite as versatile and his celibacy makes it hard to contrive alternative vore scenarios for him. That said, he's still a smug snake who'd be more than happy to swallow you whole and lecture you about his #predrights as you digest.

[Maybe the mun is just a slut, but being reduced to prey for Kankri and told I'm nothing but food, like a lower class built to digest for him is... so fucking good... #predrights]

The Signless

He who fights monsters risks becoming one himself. Nevermind what happens to he who eats them...

Yeah, poor Signless kinda finds himself falling in last here. Not his fault. The Voracious Vantases are stiff competition. Having said that, he works fantastically for one scenario in particular. Corruption. The image of this perfect paragon who only ate people as a last resort slowly decending into a sadistic predator who gleefully churns up the Condescension is just beautiful. You can do a lot with a corrupted Signless. He just can't quite match his counterparts in the realm of berating those in his belly. Still, this predatory preacher is more than happy to continue spreading his message. All trolls are equal... equally delicious~

Rust Bloods

Aradia Megido

Oh, hell yes. Whether it's the cold cruelty of Aradiabot or the playful predation of her God-Tier counterpart, Aradia is a goldmine for gluttonous scenarios.

Her adventurous attitude lends her well to any kind of vore you can think of and her powers give her all the time in the world to act out your fantasies. The worst I can say about her is that she's more teasing than she is sadistic, but that's hardly a problem given everything she can do to you. A gluttonous goddess with an adventurous appetite, Aradia will always gobble you up with a grin~

[Aradia strikes me as a well of alternative vore potential, especially with how kinky her ancestor is. With her eager attitude she could make you happy to vanish from under her~]

Xefros Tritoh

You know what I love? Shy, spineless preds embracing their predatory nature. And Xefros is perfect for that. He'd go from eating people to protect Joey to eating people because he was feeling peckish. It all culminates in him digesting Dammek while Joey rubs his gut. Looks like bad moirails make great meals. You want a good pred? X gon give it to ya.

[Preds with loyal gut rubbers are the best, especially if said gut rubber gets off on feeling prey get softer. Some Pale pailing while Xefros' gut is still squiming wouldn't go amiss]

Diemen Xicali [♡♡♡♡]

This pudgy little pred hits a lot of good notes for me. Awkward, polite, and utterly gluttonous all in one. I can easily see this boy stuffing his face with hotdogs while already having a squirming gut nearly twice his size. Underestimated preds are my jam and I guarantee no one would see it coming if this guy gobbled someone up. Not to mention, his hotdog motif lends itself well to vore. Food transformation and cock vore scenarios practically write themselves. Around him, everyone's just another oblong meat product.

[Real talk, I just love chubby guys~ He can turn me anyto anything after sliding his hotdog between my buns~]

Marsti Houtek

Another favorite of mine: indifferent preds. These preds couldn't care less about who you are. If they're hungry, that's it. You're gone. Quite a few heckling highbloods learned this about Marsti the hard way. I love the image of her casually going back to scrubbing the floor after eating someone, casually cleaning up whatever she belches out like it's another piece of garbage. Her tight suit would beautifully show off every little bulge as her meal struggles and squirms. It's only after she's done that she sits back to enjoy her meal. She likely became a more active predator thanks to the influence of a certain gluttonous goldblooded girlfriend. What can she say? She loves to break down trash.

Fozzer Velyes

Whether he's a carnivorous comrade or an imperial predator, this burgundy has quite the appetite. He's outside digging holes and sweating up a storm all night, he's going to be hungry pretty often. I like to imagine all the ghosts he doesn't believe in are the ghosts of his former prey, which honestly just adds insult to injury. They had to listen to his cheerfully jingoistic rants for hours as they digested only for him to not even acknowledge them after the fact. He's a deliciously sadistic pred without even trying to be. This ravenous rust has certainly seized the means of predation.

Damara Megido & The Handmaiden

I'm putting these two in the same spot because, well, they just don't do much for me. I don't find their design that attractive, the whole sadistic dom thing is done better by loads of other preds and the whole Japanese Waifu stick is frankly a bit oversaturated. They just don't appeal to me.

Bronze Blood

Tavros Nitram

Rare opinion but... Tavros is wholesale one if my favorite Homestuck Preds. He is the absolute king of getting corrupted into a domineering predator. After everything he's been through, he deserves to cut loose. Let him feast to his heart's content as his prey wallows in the humiliation of getting eaten by Tavros of all trolls. And don't even get me started on revenge vore. Anyone can become a great pred. That's something the Serkets learned the hard way~

[Apologetic preds are pretty great too, like "sorry but you were so good... guess I'm gonna keep you, sorry" while they churn and digest, having to think about being pudge on his ass forever~]

The Summoner

Oh, hell yes. This experienced pred is an outright cassanova. He's got enough skill to swallow up soldiers mid fight and enough charm to talk their comrades into joining them. Take Rufioh's chick magnet charm and temper it with some maturity and experience and you've got the Summoner. He's added dozens to his thighs already and he'd be happy to invite you to join them.

[Especially with how tall adult trolls get. Color me needy for some size difference, especially when I stand exactly bulge height. Worm it down my throat to work up an appetite~]

Chixie Roixmr

On the topic of revenge vore. Chixie is great for this, whether it be eating Zebruh or eating those highblood knock-offs who stole her set. If you're lucky, you might even see her on stage with a huge gut. Granted, those loud belches tend to interrupt her flow. On stage or off, The Mask gives a whole new meaning to the term "Eat the Rich".

Skylla Koriga

She's a dominant pred if there ever was one. You don't get thighs like that without a balanced diet and her scrappy older sister attitude lends her well to all sorts of voracious scenarios. You can easily picture her eating up willing prey or devouring thugs who think they can steal her lusus.

[That country girl aesthetic fits well with lewd gassy moments while the prey is gurgling insude her. She probably revels in it, and having her belch in my face would be such an instant game over for me...]

Rufioh Nitram

Rufioh can easily be talked into being a pred in bed. I mean, the guy has dated Damara and Horuss, he's used to weird kinks. Ask him to eat you and his response will be "Sure, doll." He'd quickly develop a fondness for predation, especially after a few partners "accidentally" pad out his thighs. With any luck, you'll be one of them~

Vikare Ratite

This guy would be positively giddy to have you gurgling in his gut. His perpetually optimistic attitude would have him gushing over you as gurgle in his guts, his rambling string of compliments only interrupted by an occasional crass belch. Only problem is prying him away from his flying fantasies. He's liable to have his head in the clouds more often then he has you in his guts.

Dammek

I mean... we know practically nothing about this guy. Everything we do know comes from second hand sources so.... yeah. At least the Ancestors have Mindfang's journal to go off of. Can't make any calls until we actually meet the man.

Gold Bloods

Folykl Darane [♡♡♡♡]

Predation isn't just a dietary choice for this one. Until she met Kuprum, she had to eat people to survive. She needs her energy and she's likely to taunt whatever poor shmuck she has to get it from. Kuprum would totally endorse Folykl's predatory habits and I can easily imagine him lowering a struggling prey into her jaws with telekinesis, mocking her victim all the while. Nothing personal. She needs her energy. But that doesn't mean she's going to be very nice about. Her casual cruelty lets her edge out some fairly stiff competition. Golds are easily my second favorite caste for preds overall. And this gremlin is the most gluttonous gold blood of them all.

[Real talk, Folykl can own me x///x A dirty, sweaty, crass girl who will insult me as likely as fuck me with that coiling, golden bulge? Hell maybe both at the same time if I'm especially lucky. Gassy from all that junk food, and lets you stew with it while she idly jacks off in the middle of the living room, blowing a load all over the floor... Then just laying back in her sweaty after glow.]

Zebede Tongva

In a caste filled with cynical assholes, Zebede stands out for his unwavering optimism. What makes him stand out as a pred is the side that affability hides. His pudge already gives him away as an experienced pred but that just makes him seem friendly. Of course, that same friendliness lets him lure prey back to his hive. Not to imply that it's an act, mind you. He's just as happy to meet you as he is to eat you. His enthusiasm is contagious even as he's happly melting you into padding and that's what sets him above so many other preds. He's a great friend to have, but be careful when he invites you over. You might just find out why he lives alone~

[*claps my hands in time* Chub-by boys are too good! I feel like he remembers every inch on his body as a troll, and still squishes them lovingly from time to time. He'll introduce you to every single one, mashing your face into his warm gut, his plump thighs, and his generous ass over the course of ages. He'd want to to stay forever, and after sweaty, heavy sex, getting ground into his mattress and learning to love his curves like he does, he adds you to them, to be with him forever~]

Azdaja Knelax

He's the self proclaimed prince of all predators and he does his best to live up to that. His pride makes him great for demeaning his prey and his sheer raw power means that there are few prey he can't handle. He's eaten plenty of prey over the course of his career. He claims he's eaten over 9000! Whether that's true or not... well, how about you stick around and find out. You can count his prey after you've joined them on his thighs.

The Psiioniic

How do you become the most powerful Psionic of all time? By eating lots and lots of prey. This carnivorous Captor was eager to eat any troll who got too close to the Signless and he was strong enough to keep anyone from really stopping him. He's one of the most powerful preds to ever walk on Alternia and he's got the thighs to prove it. His cynical Captor attitude makes him great. But the idea of him getting revenge on the Condescension and gobbling her up? That makes him gold.

Cirava Hermod

Lazily hedonistic and casually cruel, Hermod has all their bases covered. Whether they're churning up fans on stream or spitefully digesting smug highbloods, Cirava is all too happy to enjoy their position as a predator. If you're lucky, you might hear their prey screaming as they incorporate their gurgles and burps into their track. It results in some surprisingly good music and a lot of unsurprisingly good vore scenarios. You'd be hard pressed to not end up in this nonbinary's belly.

[They strike me as a loose lover. Let's get high and what happens happens! They'll take or give, and probably adore scents and tastes, in their hazy state, after a 69 session, or after returning your oral favors, the munchies kick in. With you digesting, they just don't get the struggling. "You loved my body right, I mean you even licked... there... You should totally be part of it lmao~"]

Sollux Captor

Casual preds are seriously underrated and this Captor is the king of that court. He's powerful enough to nonchalantly ragdoll you into his maw and he'd have no problem trash talking some digesting prey while playing video games. That's not even getting into his dual bulges. It's hard to compete with the image of him sucking two prey into his cocks at once. That's all just when he's being casual. He's an even better pred when he's feeling spiteful. There's a good reason he has the nickname Carnivorous Captor.

Kuprum Maxlol

This future battery is just as mean as his moirail, with a hunger that fits. A battery has to make sure it's fully charged after all and there's no better source of energy than people. The problem is that that's really all he brings to the table here. Sure, he's mean, but so are most over gluttonous goldbloods and he's just as likely to feed a prey to his moirail as he is too eat them himself. In which case, might as well go with the moirail, because she's one of the best preds out there. He's still powerful, mean, kinky little gremlin who makes for a great predator. He's just got too much competition in this caste. Still, all good battery's need recharging. You just might find yourself in this battery's belly.

[Like his friendsim entry, he works best with Folykl. Think hedonistic orgies with those two greasy trolls zapping anyone between them into an orgasmic haze. Spitroasting would be like acting as a copper wire from your prostate to your tongue, and after they bust their respective nuts, you're all salty and tenderized, blissed out from the electric rut they were in. A perfect snack~]

Mituna Captor

Oh, Mituna. Poor, poor Mituna. There's nothing really wrong with him as a pred. His attitude is great, the way he flip flops between nice and mean can lead to a lot of fun banter and situations, but he just doesn't have anything that makes him stand out. His best strength would be accidental vore, which can be really fun, but he doesn't have much else going for him. I was debating even putting him in this list, given his heady injury, but he has shown he's perfectly capable of saying no when something makes him uncomfortable. He's cognizant and capable of consent, but he's still not much to write home about. Every other goldblood has him beat out in terms of pred potential. Sorry Mituna. Maybe you'll find your sentient meals someday

[royalrastafariannaynays]

Fiddler Not On The Roof (that short davekat superhero au ficlet i said i would write)

((also for @davekatweek 2017 day 2!))

“Shut your mouth,” you hear, before the first hit comes. 

It’s dark, and dank, and the ceiling is gently dripping from the rain outside. 

Oh man, if only some savior could come get you. Kidnapped off the street down by the pier after a movie with your friend. Maybe the Ghost will find you. Fucking superhero he is, gone for like three weeks now with no sign. Crime has spiked again lately. But hey. Maybe he’ll come back, just for you. Or maybe even… what’s his brother’s name? Fiddler? 

Even in your shock at the whole situation, the thought makes you laugh. It gets you a nice foot to the gut. Thanks. 

“A big iron cage? Really? Get some originality,” You find yourself snarking, even as warm blood drips from your nose. You’re punched again in the side of your head and. Ow. 

That one hurt. 

Ears ringing, you have to give it a second before you can keep talking. “What’s next, one of those hamster drip water feeders or whatever?”

The words come out with flecks that land on your bare knees and feet. They took your shoes when you got in here, and they took your hoodie to search it. Every pocket was ripped out before they gave it back to you, and half of the lining was ruined. 

Cell phone smashed, wallet gutted and burned, even your shades were ripped and crushed underfoot to the tune of noiseless laughter amid the whimpering of the other people in captivity. 

You’re tossed back into the cage, wrists sparking at the pain of the landing. Your knees are scraped, and your teeth hurt, and when you try, you find it hard to even lift your head. 

“Stay quiet, worm,” the ugly head honcho snaps at you. “All the other animals manage somehow.” 

The gated door slams shut. It vibrates the floor, shakes your soul, and makes half of the women scream.  

They’re so scared. And they should be. 

Women have so much to fear from strange men. 

It’s a wonder they even like any of you.

It’s all women in here, except you. 

From what you saw when you first got here, before they started putting the hurt on you, all young women, with decent figures and longer hair. 

Women looking battered, looking scared and hungry and sleepless. 

You know by now that this is slavery. 

You’re going to be trafficked.

You knew you were a nubile young thing with a pretty face, but. This? 

Dirk said you shouldn’t have been out alone tonight, that people were disappearing slowly in the city. Not abnormal by itself, but he has a cop friend. She said it was strange. For whatever reason.

You really wish you hadn’t been out alone tonight. 

Just before you pass out from the pain in your skull, you try your best to catalog the area. Look for escape. Something, anything. Dirk always taught you to look for a way out if this happened. 

But you fail him. All you manage is the ceiling. 

And then you’re gone. 

Fear washes up your nose and into your heart just before the lights go out. 

~~~~~

-Four Hours Earlier-

“Hey, Dave, what the heck are you doing?” John laughs, pulling up behind you and slinging his arm over your shoulder. 

There’s a brief pause before you reply as the Popsicle is knocked out of your mouth and onto the ground. Aw shit. You paid like two dollars for that shit. Ice cream truck special and everything. 

“Dude,” you reprimand, as he guffaws and pats your back. 

“I’m the one who should be scolding you,” he says, leaning down to pick up the fallen warrior, and toss it in the trash. New bird poop sprinkles and all. “You’re the one eating ice in the middle of January! When it’s raining!” 

You shake your head. “That’s the best time, Johnny my boy,” you say, and turn to give him the absolute best noogie you can. He’s just stepped off the bus, backpack over his shoulder, selling attire exactly what he needs to do his job and not get caught. He just doesn’t look shifty enough, somehow. 

Christ, you never expected John to be the type to sell pot out of the back of a van. Well, not out of the back of a van, but in his few little haunts. He doesn’t do any of the really bad shit, but with all the rich kids he knows, he tends to make a killing at parties. 

“You ready for this movie?” you ask him. He nods, pulling you toward the theater a block down. 

“Yeah!” he replies, heading that way. Squeaky new shoes, too. “Thanks for coming to this part of town, I didn’t want to get stopped by any customers while I was out.” 

“No prob, John,” you say, waving him off. 

He looks at your basketball shorts and snorts as you round the corner and go inside the theater. “Did you roll out of bed or something?” 

“Laundry day,” you tell him. And he laughs again. 

John is a fucking breath of fresh air. 

“Can I help you two?” comes a growly voice from in front of you, and you have to do a double take when you see that it’s come from a short dude with a bush of dark hair on his head and the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen. 

Oh sweet Jesus he’s cute. 

Buried most of the way in a sweater and a uniform that’s a little too big, with stout fingers and mouth curled in the worst impression of customer service you’ve ever seen. And he looks… familiar, somehow. His eyes are gray, and it’s very clearly the working of some fancy colored contacts, and he has what looks like a scar through his pouty lower lip. 

John shoves you, and when you fail to pull your eyes away from the adorable gremlin, he orders the tickets first. 

“Yeah! Two for the new Bourne movie!” he says, and you just nod dumbly. 

The ticket guy’s name plate says “K” on it, like his name has been scratched out the rest of the way. Maybe people have a hard time pronouncing it? 

Man and he’s the perfect height to tuck under your chin. But his arms, when he rolls back a sleeve to retrieve a fallen ticket from the trash, are… Holy Fuck. He’s… he works out. Holy Mary, Mother Of GOD. 

It’s the express line to full facial blush town as you enter the movie theater, eyes matching just one more time with the fake-grey ones of uh. “K” before you follow sweet oblivious John. 

And you swear the guy smirks at you as you move away. 

Anyways, all that said. 

You remember the thunderous scowl on his face a little more. 

Since it was the last thing you saw as you waited at the bus stop, and a bag went over your head. 

And you could have sworn his piercing eyes glowed red from that far of a distance.

Don’t the Ghost’s eyes glow red? 

~~~~~

Present

Of course, maybe you just imagined that, since the next thing you remember was waking up being held by your elbows, getting frisked in literally every possible place, and then your shit getting destroyed. 

Now, though, you’re opening your eyes to the feeling of long hair tickling your nose. 

Three different ladies huddle around you, one of them with your head on her lap, gently forcing open your mouth and checking for. Whatever she’s looking for. Broken teeth? Bitten tongue, maybe. You feel like you’re on your back, and a few blinks confirms it. 

The woman who’s cradling your skull speaks to you, softly. It’s Spanish, thank everything, so you know some of it. You think she’s asking if you’re alright, and you nod. 

You attempt to say something you remember about your head hurting, and she nods, looking into your eyes. Checking for concussion? The other two women hover, remaining silent. The woman holding you has black hair and a comforting aura. She speaks softly, and looks like she’s been crying. A lot. 

You’re able to sit up, however woozy it feels, and you look around. Thankfully the lighting is low, and thankfully the tough guys seem to be out of the room. There are a few different types of girls in here, you see. But that’s not important. 

“How long have you been here?” you ask. 

“Six days, for the earliest. Four for the latest,” a soft voice answers you. 

You rub your head. 

“You get food and water, yeah?” you ask, visually inspecting yourself. Your face hurts, your knees are bloodied but the bleeding has stopped, and you touch your eye. Okay, black eye. Cool. And… sprained wrist. Great. Toes and fingers all there? Alright. But a broken ankle, you find, when all you get is excruciating pain trying to twist it. Not so alright.

“Twice a day they give us enough food and water,” the woman who’d had your head in her lap answers. 

You look at the gate of the cage. You look at the floors. You see a corner with some kind of bucket, you assume for waste, and a drain. It smells awful, like piss and shit and vomit and stale body odor. 

“They come with guns,” the woman adds. “They have shot one who tried to escape already.” 

Fuck. 

So you’re not getting out of here. 

Not without a miracle. 

~~~~~

Present, at the hospital downtown

“Karkat, we haven’t worked in weeks,” Kankri sighs. “And I can’t be there to help you.” 

Your brother adjusts his intravenous drip next to his chair, looks down, and reopens his mouth. 

“I can’t be there to keep you safe.” 

You clench your fists on the arms of the chair you’re sat in across from him. His hospital room is cold, and you’ve always hated hospitals. Your father and mother died in a hospital. Your inheritance is paid from the hospital they owned, a piece at a time. 

Kankri is withering in this hospital while he waits for a heart transplant. 

Nothing good comes from these places for you.

He doesn’t want you to go into this dangerous place by yourself. But. It’s not a question of him being there with you anymore. It’s a question of how soon you’re going to leave. You saw someone get taken. And you have to fix it.

You’ll need to stay alive for Kankri, but also…

“This is the human trafficking ring we thought we lost because they left town,” you tell him. “They’re good, but I’m better.” 

Kankri sighs. 

It feels like you’ve been arguing this for hours. It may well have been hours. He’s your brother. You need to keep him alive, and to keep him alive, you have to work that awful job at the theater. The inheritance only covers so much, and the theater manager owed the ‘other you’ and let Ghost convince him to hire your sorry ass for twelve dollars an hour. 

That’s the ‘other’ you. Ghost. 

But you haven’t been out and running the streets for nearly a month. 

Kankri has a hole in his heart, the rare kind. And he’s waiting just a little bit longer for a donor for a new one. Bright and shiny and strong. 

He was your partner before this. A good partner. He would scope out the buildings with his clairvoyance, always best on the full moon, and then he would let you do the dirty work. 

Saving people. It’s what you do. 

And you had needed to leave it to others so that you could live a normal life, just for a bit. But people had been disappearing. And then when you saw one disappear, right in front of your eyes? 

It was that cute guy from your temporary job. He’d been at the bus stop, and you were going to ask him for his number or tumblr or whatever normal people do. And then… 

He was pulled into a van. 

You chased the van all the way to the factory district, keeping to shadows and rooftops. And you lost it. 

“I was already going to go,” you tell Kankri, snapping and earning an alarmed look from the nurse as she comes in to drop off a tray. She leaves, huffing, and you flip her the bird. 

“I just wanted you to help me sense out which building it was in,” you continue.

Kankri looks like he wants to tell you know. His brow furrows, his cheeks puff out, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times. 

And then, the unexpected happens. 

He sighs, his eyes go red, and you know he’s looking. He comes back to you sooner than you think. 

Looking down at his hands, he says, very softly. 

“The docks, warehouse 40013. I believe.” 

You leap from your chair, wrapping him in a hug. Careful not to pull any wires, you hold him in your arms, and he weakly pats your back. 

“Come back alive, Karkat,” he says, in that naggy way he does. 

You ruffle his hair as you stand back, and run from the room. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you say. 

You hear him laugh. 

~~~~~

Three hours Later

Sollux managed to score some blueprints for you, coming through again. He lives with you without rent, so he does the chores and helps you on missions. It’s good shit. 

Then, of course, this time, he had to do more than usual. Through his VPN and several proxies, he was able to disable the security cameras in the warehouse in question. He also managed to shut down the power in that block, temporarily. 

It won’t last too long, but he’s done you a huge favor. 

The blueprints creak as you push them into the pocket of your pants. And it, like all of your attire and body, turns to liquid with you. 

In solid form, you can’t get through the pipes. But using your abilities? It’s almost too simple. 

That’s why they call you “Ghost.” 

You disappear into pipes and vents without a trace. 

Even though you turn into blood. 

The men you encounter at the entrance don’t get the chance to shout about the blood dripping from the ceiling until it’s too late. You land at their feet, black mask pulled over your head and symbol flashing on your chest, and knock them out. 

It’s mercy, sure. Even when you drop them into a dumpster, it’s mercy. 

There should be eight guards. A portion of a bigger operation, you’re sure. But you can only do so much. 

Two down. 

By the time you get to the doors of the main room, where the captives should be kept, you’ve removed seven obstacles from your way. You hit their break room, using your training to take care of them without killing. Bullets clink on the ground as they fall from your malleable flesh, having been caught just in time. And under the light of the moon, with your powers activated? 

Most physical wounds just run right off. 

The doors before you slide open slowly. 

And there they are. Nine women, and one man. That guy from the movie theater. 

You’re so glad you were right. 

He’s badly injured, unable to stand it seems, and you feel yourself fill with anger. He’s only been here less than twelve hours. The anger turns into rage as a hand claps down on the front of the outside of the cage, and the women shrink in fear. 

They look terrified. 

“So, you found us,” the owner of that hand drawls, and you glare up at him. From the shadow of the door, you must just look like a pair of eyes. The building is dark. The cage sits in a shaft of moonlight, and the man stands in another. Warehouse windows. 

How fucking cinematic. 

“So you’ve taken out my men. It’s admirable,” he says. 

You frown. “Can we skip the evil villain speech?” you ask. 

The guy from the theater, in the cage, snorts. 

A gunshot rings out. 

The man by the cage has a gun out, and the women are screaming, and the guy from the movie theater is crying out, clutching his leg. It’s bleeding clean, fresh blood now, from a hole in the thigh. 

Fuck. 

“How about you shut up while I kill your hero so I can get my paycheck?” the man sneers, and. 

Oh. 

Was it a trap for you? 

Shit. 

Shit shit shit. 

You should have listened to Kankri. You should have listened. 

Before you can think, you’re shaking uncontrollably. 

A taser has been fired at your stomach, judging by the location. And it’s a strong one, too. You can barely move. 

SHIT. 

If you liquefied right now, you’d get turned to sizzling garbage. And you can barely think to do anything. All you can do is fall forward. You can’t let them paralyze you. God, you can’t. 

So you get what might be the worst idea in the world. 

You haven’t ever done it before. 

But somehow, it works. 

You sprout goddamn blades from your chest. 

“Holy shit,” the guy in the cage says, apparently the only one that hasn’t been broken, as the taser lines tether and you burst forward in a flash of speed. 

The man who tased you is dead before he hits the ground, your arm pierced straight through his chest. It feels awful, feels monstrous. But it’s what had to be done. Better him dead, than all of the people in the cage. 

You hear police sirens outside before you have the cage opened. 

And before they burst through the doors, you’re through a grate in the floor and gone. 

Outside the warehouse, you yank the hook out of the front of your suit. Shit. That’ll need a repair. And you’ve got a few new bullet holes, too. You’re out of practice. 

You throw a sweater on over your “super suit”, and pull on the pair of pants you stashed outside, and remove your mask. 

The guy from the theater is sitting on the back of an ambulance when you round the building. One of your brother’s friends is there, doing a report on the incident. She’s a detective. She’s on your side. It’s a long story. 

She waves as you pass her, going over to the guy you saved, and waving a hand to get his attention past the paramedic. 

He’s going to be taken to the hospital whether he likes it or not, judging by the stern look from the woman examining the bandages around his leg. The bullet passed straight through, apparently. And he’s got stitches, by the look of it. 

How the fuck is he not already on his way to a doctor? 

“Look, lady, I can’t afford the box car, so I’ll hitch a ride with a cop.” 

“Sir, you’ve bled entirely too much for–” 

“I insist. I’ll walk out of here on my own if I have to.” 

She throws her hands up in the air, somehow taking this answer, and he’s looking at you. 

“What happened?” you ask him. 

“Like you don’t know,” he answers, and it’s. 

What?

It’s so difficult to hide your surprise and apprehension that you almost forget to deny what he’s talking about. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you echo his thoughts. 

He raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Yeah okay, ‘K’,” he says. And you. 

You forget to be under cover. 

“How’d you put it together?” you ask him. 

“Lucky guess,” he says. And if he didn’t have a black eye already, you’d give him one. Frustration swells up in you, and you bare your teeth. 

“Are you kidding?!” you ask, and he laughs and holds up his hands. 

“You show up out of nowhere right after Ghost disappears?” he says, like it answers everything. Yeah, that was a bad move on your part. “And those arms would be hard to forget.” 

At this, you balk. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Do I get to kiss the hero?” he says then, and. 

“Are you sure you’re not concussed?!” you demand. 

He laughs. 

“Yeah I might be. But you’re also cute.”

It’s. God. 

“No,” you say, and turn, preparing to leave. He’s clearly fine. You’ll get to his hospital room tonight and convince him not to blab about you. You’re pretty good at that. 

“Hey, what?” he asks, and he almost sounds sad. 

“Maybe a date first, douchebag,” you say, taking a few steps toward Latula. Her eyebrows are up as she looks between the two of you. 

“How will I find you then?!” he calls after you, and you turn to look over your shoulder. 

“I’ll find you.” 

…………………….

((i didn’t get everything but i did my best! hope you enjoy!))

[nemodraws]

Birthday Fic

For @botgalhs, sorry for it being so late!! They sat apart on her couch, as always. Polar opposites. Him, boiling hot and cold at the prospect of physical intimacy. Her, freezing cold and needy and desperate for touch and praise and approval. But she could never ask for touch from him, he'd leave and she’d be more cut off. So, their legs touched and they looked at each other and they talked. “I mean, who would get it in their mind to do that shit?” Meenah’s shirt was off, her fingers just barely brushing the frayed ends of where her gills used to be. Or would've been. “I can't breathe underwater, I can barely-” her voice broke off in a gasp and her fingers gave an involuntary twitch when she prodded to hard. Blinking hard, Meenah's words came in stutters before she found her verbal footing again, “I can barely touch the gills now.” Kankri, who had been surprisingly silent while she talked, “I am not sure where your ancestor got that idea, to shear off the filaments in your gills.” His lips twisted in a light frown and he sat up more, just barely reaching towards her torso, “May I?” Sitting up so fast her vision went fuzzy, Meenah nodded her head, “Yeah, course you can.” Her torso tensed as his hand came closer to her gills. And then the warm pads of his fingers brushed over her gill slits and she exhaled, relaxing into his touch. Slowly, he rubbed her side, maintaining eye contact with her. Making sure he didn't hurt her, “I'm going to preface this with the fact that I am not trying to coopt your tragedy, I'm sure that doing that would most certainly offend. But, I do believe I can relate to the idea and notion of a controlling lusus figure.” A slight breath in preparation that didn't really give her a chance to reply, “As I hope is obvious, I would be considered a lowblood in the eyes of Beforian society, which also meant that on Beforus itself I was culled. Meaning that a cooler blood than I possessed took me in and took the place of my would-be yet in truth nonexistent lusus. I happened to be taken under the care of one Quinne Pierot, a purple blood. Same caste, actually, as our very own Kurloz Makara.” He frowned slightly when he said the name, “But that really isn't important in this matter. What is, is the fact of her blood color. I'm sure that I do not have to remind you that the purple blooded caste has a high tendency towards the vein of manipulation we call Chucklevoodoos.” His hand flinched, but gracefully had avoided driving into Meenah's gills, “It shouldn't come as a surprise, that as her cullee I was subjected to pampering behavior and controlling behavior. But what I wish to be, but ultimately doubt that it is, a surprise to you. Is that i was also subjected to a great deal of manipulation. Though, I suppose the reason of my lack of a will to wish that prior knowledge is due to our...more red tinged romance.” Truthfully he had no idea really where this arrangement between them. They had started out as kismeisises, unsurprisingly given their conflicting natures. Though after a particularly nasty brawl, Aranea had intervened between them and took the role of auspice, thus pushing them into ashen territory. At her insistence, Kankri and Meenah were made to spend (what Aranea had called, at least) ‘quality time’ together. And here they were. Straddling the line somewhere between true flush and pale. But it worked for them. So they worked. Quandaries about the nature of their relationship aside, Kankri continued on, “Nevertheless, now you know, or at least, were reminded. But it is true, I was subjected to near constant control, or at the very least, an overpowering presence in my mind. Which led to my tendency to not be able to talk over trollain for long or very late into the morning. Almost everything I did was controlled. When I woke up, what I wore, what I ate, how much I ate, what I would do, where I would go (if she decided that I could even go anywhere at all), and when I went to sleep.” His eyes had dropped from Meenah's and were now glaring slightly out the window. “Again, which is why I was so reckless during the start of the game. Which is why I have so many scars,” At the mention, his hand automatically went to his chest, “which is why I dislike Porrim's constant mothering and I can't stand to be alone with the Makara of our session. The two of them remind me too much of..of Quinne. And I do hope to inform you that the mere fact that you have never been soft or gentle with me as opposed to anyone else is, quite honestly, a large part of how I came to the decision to break my vow for our...relationship.” There was a break of silence. Kankri waiting for Meenah to talk and Meenah wondering how hard it'd be to find Quinne and beat the living shit out of her. Clearing her throat, Meenah nodded her head, “All understandable, Kan. Can't say I exactly blame you for wanting P-Mar to stop doing...what she does.” Shifting closer on the couch, Meenah sighed out softly, “I know what Chucklevoodoos do, Kankri, or would it be too morbid for me to tell you?” He blanched, fake paling as he shook his head, “Not to morbid, don't worry. The only thing that worries me is that you know what Chucklevoodoos do and since you are not a part of the purple class you know them second hand.” A tired chuckle and Meenah rubbed at her temple, “Yeah, I know them second hand. Hard naut to, when your ancestor is the empress and you're a rowdy wriggler who once tagged the side of the palace with spray paint. But, that was back before I was chosen to become the next Empress. I, try not to think about what coulda happened to me had I not ran off to the moon. Cause if ya look at where I was going, it wasn't to a good place. Ya see, since I was such a rowdy beach my ancestor- y’know the Empress- found it a great idea to get one of her advisors, purple blood by the name of Sabyli Perema, to dive right down into my mind and fuck me up. Puppetted me around the glubbing throne room, nebber had a minute to myshellf if people were over and I needed to be a perchfect host. So, I’m shore that if I had been left to my own ancestor’s devices and stayed on that damed planet, I’d be in a wave worse place.” The amount of fish puns she used had kept increasing as she got more and more agitated. The glow of her spots kept fluctuating from neon to barely existent, causing Kankri to raise his eyebrow and half reach out. In response, Meenah leaned into his hand, sinking into it and exhaling loudly before continuing, “So, that was a bitch to deal with. Espeshelly with the inability to swim and the corsets and the pressure and engagements and-” She was cut off by Kankri making a strangled sound. “Engagements? Who were you engaged to?” His paled out eyes were widened in concern, his thumb gently rubbing her cheekbone. A half-humorous laugh, “Cronus, if you could believe. It made sense, I guess, at the tide. His ancestor was a military general, so he had a big name to live up to. He was rich and powerful and so was I, so ole fishtits thought it great to pair us up together.” Kankri frowned slightly and tugged some pillows and blankets over, pulling Meenah onto the makeshift pile and holding her close. His warm hands moved to pet her hair and rub at her horns until her tensed shoulders slumped and a purr started up. “Think of the bright side, Meenah. It’s not that your issues don’t matter, because they do. But the causes of your issues are long away now, on another planet and in another time. You’re safe here, I won’t let anything be done to you. You’re going to be okay and you’re going to be happy and I will not let anything bad happen Meenah.” She just purred louder and nodded her head, shifting closer and wrapping around him, “Yeah, yeah. Same for me, Kan, you’re gonna be safe. Won’t let Kurloz near you, won’t let him ever get in your bright little brain. I’ll make you safe, make sure you’re safe until you’re content and happy.” Her own hands moved through Kankri’s hair, touching his horns lightly (but mostly focusing on massaging his scalp) until his eyes went half lidded. “I love you, Meenah.” He mumbled out, shifting to get more comfortable like he was going to sleep. “I love you too, Kankri.” Meenah smiled at him, hugging him closer and tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

[valorousimperial]

Nights in the past, but not many...

Your name is Porrim Maryam, and your charge is dead. Kannus Vantas cut Kankri’s throat right in front of you, and he died on the floor while you were held back from so much as holding him.

It takes quite some time for the imperial bloodline to die, even from such a serious wound. You don’t even know what poor, eleven-sweep-old Kankri could have done to incur even this madman’s wrath, and that’s saying something, considering how little a “reason” he needs to strike out at anyone.

Never at you, though. He’s never struck you or another jade, and you can’t imagine what’s stopping him, because you sure as fuck are not going to let this pass. Enough is enough!

You lash out, kill a guard before you’ve even registered what’s happened. The other that was holding you draws his sword, and you take it from him, and you cut his throat with his own blade. Blood splashes you, your face, your dress. It’s cold, like his clammy oversized hand was on your shoulder and your arm.You’re going to have the other’s handprint on your neck for a while, with how you struggled.

You step over Kankri’s soft, still body to get his donor, just a bit shorter than you. Someone stands from the table, and you don’t know who it is, but as soon as they step toward you, you kill them, too, and another before no one else comes to stop you. 

Kannus, pretty, crazed Kannus, has been calmly cleaning the blood from his hand, but now he stands again, and slashes that knife at you...but you are gone.

You see now a maid. She’s young. Her eyes aren’t filled in yet. Nine? She’s carrying a tray with a tall, graceful pitcher with a delicate handle, and a few glasses stacked inside one another, but you stop her by appearing in her path, and she screams at the sight of you, and faints dead away.

Where are you?????????????????

Yes, all those question marks were necessary. You can’t even move while your eyes dart around and take in this clean, relatively spartan in decoration hall. It’s familiar, though; tall ceilings and good lights, and you can see a rich, red curtain covering what you believe to be a floor-to-ceiling window.

You are still, ears tuned for a continuation of the violence and the gore. Blood drips from you. You feel some pain in your stomach, and see a small cut, shallow, which your own jade blood is dripping from.

“Miss Porrim?”

The voice cuts your flurried thoughts, and you turn so fast that your hated, heavy hair swings with you, ponderous and bothersome as ever.

And there he is. Like nothing ever happened. He’s whole and...and he has a beard? But that is your charge, your Kankri, and he starts running toward you, and you step toward him on shaking, adrenaline-weak legs.