#that's the closest to canon we'll get okay

[rainbow-arrow]

can't believe we really did gloss over luka saying '(adrien) loves everyone, and everyone loves him back' implying he is a part of the 'everyone' that loves adrien.

[queers-gambit]

But You Without Me Ain't Nice

prompt: ( requested ) deciding to surprise your boyfriend for Christmas after studying abroad, only to discover him in the arms of another. when you return to Oxford, so does his desire.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 5.7k+

note: it's not EXPLICIT cheating 'cause i wanted them to get back together.

warnings: small bouts of jaded feminism, cursing, hurt and comfort, AU timeline 'cause of implied altered canon, small angst, drama, emotions are hard, long distance relationships are hard, boys are dumb, "cheating" but not explicit - you'll see, more so betrayal, so that makes this relationship angst?

Cassandra's squeal of excitement was shrill enough to pierce an eardrum when you shuffled into her dormitory, shaking the snow from your hair and coat before she hugged you tightly. "I'm so excited you're here!" She beamed, "It's been so fucking lonely without you! God, you just had to leave, huh?"

You chuckled, "Oh, shove it. Edinburgh has one of the best programs in Europe, Cass, you know this!"

"I know, I know, you're better than us little folk at Oxford," she mocked with a groan, letting go of you as your eyes rolled in humor. "But still - it's so boring without you, I miss my roomie. There's literally nobody around for me to cause havoc with," she pouted dramatically.

"Well, I'm here for the holidays," you assured, "so you get me for the next couple weeks, you lucky ducky."

"Oh, please, you and I both know Felix isn't gonna let you outta his sight when he sees you. You planning on goin' home at all?"

"No, no, my sister has a flat just down the way," you explained. "She's in London until after the New Year - gave me her key when she picked me up from the airport," you showed her the metal device with a grin.

"Gonna take Felix back to the flat?"

"If he wants," you nodded.

"Oh, yeah, whatever, a flat completely to yourselves for the entire winter holiday? He's gonna lose his mind," your friend tutted. "When are you seeing him?"

"Uh, he said he was going to some party tonight?"

"Well, that's normal," she muttered almost bitterly. "C'mon, get changed, we'll meet him there."

"What do you mean, 'normal'?"

"What? Oh," her head shook as if realizing what she had just said. "No, it's - it's nothing, just," she winced slightly, "Felix is at every party."

"Really?" You asked softly. "We talk all the time on the phone, when does he even have time?"

"No offense, but it's not like he's a model student. He's constantly partying, I hear about it all the time from girls in class - "

"What do they say?"

"He's just popular - you know, he's Felix. And he's a regular at the pubs, too."

You had a weird feeling in your gut and chest, just nodding at Cassandra. "Well, at least he's enjoying himself," you offered meekly.

"Mhm, got that right," she snickered. "He's a legend 'round the university, even people in other colleges and programs know about him. Guess that's one way t'make an impression."

"Yeah, that's Felix for yah," you sighed. "Can I borrow an outfit?"

"What's wrong with that?" She paused, looking you up and down, then wincing, "Yeah, okay, I have options for you."

"Oh, don't sound so judgmental!" You laughed, "I just didn't pack party clothes, I didn't think we'd be going to any."

"You're so lucky to have me," she grinned at you, shoving through a rack of options in her wardrobe. "You wanna look classy slutty, spicy slutty, or just plain slutty-slutty?"

You hummed and chose the 'classy' option, being an open back black mini dress that clung to your figure and hiked up your thighs with every step. It felt exciting to be with Cassandra again, meeting your first year of secondary school and becoming the closest of friends; enduring family turmoil and social drama arm-in-arm. You listened to preppy pop music as you got ready; taking turns in the bathroom to finish your hair and make-up before slipping the dress on and latching the borrowed heels around your ankles.

When you gave her a look at your final outfit, she approved - claiming Felix would probably have a heart attack when he saw you.

"Wait!" You laughed, snatching a festive Santa Claus hat from the care package her parents sent; nestling it on your head. "Eh? Eh? Right? It's good!"

"Girl - "

"C'mon, it's festive!"

"You're lucky you're just so damn cute - it works," she grinned, tossing you your coat before shrugging into hers. "Hold on - you know the rules!" She halted you from opening the dorm door, holding up the bottle of tequila. "Shots before we leave!"

"Jesus, I've missed you," you laughed, taking the solo cup she held out; watching her pour enough for at least 2-3 shots.

"It'll keep us warm in the snow," she explained. "They not partying down at Edinburgh?"

"Not like here," you snickered, downing the drinks with a screwed up expression. "And they're all really preppy - like I thought Oxford had snobs, but Christ Almighty. My roommate down there literally had a panic attack when I bought a bottle of wine."

"Why?"

"She's American, said they're not allowed until they're 21."

"Wow... That's gotta suck for them," she downed her own shots. "Okay! You ready? Wait, are you wearing panties?"

"Yeah - "

"You can't in that dress."

"I'm not taking my panties off, Cass, let's just go!" You laughed, snatching her hand and leading her out of the dorm. "So, c'mon, tell me about the guy you're seeing," you requested, looping your arms together, trudging onto the snowy sidewalk.

"Oh, you mean Jason? Yeah, no, that's over. I just realized that being here is literally the only time in my life I'll have all these easy opportunities and there was no use in wasting my time dating just one person. And it eliminates the threat of cheating. Like... I don't hold my liquor all that well anymore and there's so many good looking people here! Why be in a relationship and run that risk, you know?"

You blinked at her, unsure what to say.

"Oh," she froze, "no, no, I didn't mean - no, look, dating in college is really cool when you know you're with the right person. And since you and Felix have been together for two years already, I think it's pretty safe to say he's the right one - right?"

"I think so... But I can't lie, I've been feeling kinda guilty, thinking Felix would prefer the opportunity to sow his wild oats instead of committing to us. You know? Like you said - "

"No, don't do that, you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm being stressed and upset," she hugged your arm tightly, continuing down the sidewalk. "Felix doesn't want t'be single, he would've bucked up the nerve to break up already. And you guys talk so often, he would've said something, right?"

You mused, "Not necessarily, Felix is used to having all he wants."

She shrugged off your words, "You're overthinking 'cause you're nervous to surprise him. But you're the best Christmas present, seriously. Made my day all the better."

You just smiled and skipped over the patch of ice in your way, nearly slipping, but Cassandra kept a tight hold on you - laughing loudly, your amused shrieks echoing around the brownstone buildings. When you arrived at the flat hosting the party, you climbed 2 flights of stairs without incident and let yourselves in; being greeted by strobe lights, thick clouds of smoke, and an abundance of drunken Oxford students.

It was packed - a welcomed sight after your past semester abroad, attending dinner parties with tart wines and classical music. You only had one more semester left before coming back to Oxford full time, and things just weren't the same being away; you missed the excitement, the parties, the friends you made. Granted, you had friends at Edinburgh, you often thought you could make friends anywhere, but you knew a lot of faces here. It was a comfort. And despite knowing you were here only a couple weeks until the next semester began again, it was still nice being back.

You were greeted by several people, being hugged happily and your cheeks kissed sloppily. They asked all about your program in Scotland, insisting you do rounds of shots with them, updating you on the juiciest gossip you missed.

They told you everything... Except what you should've known.

"Have you guys seen Felix?" You asked, glancing around the packed party. You noticed the uncomfortable looks exchanged, questioning, "What? What is it?"

"Uh, you know what?" Oliver Quick sighed, a new addition to the friend group that you didn't know - actually meeting for the first time tonight. "Yeah, yeah, saw him over there - on the sofa," he pointed somewhere behind you.

"Thanks, mate," you patted his shoulder, turning to push through the partygoers.

When you were gone, Farleigh turned to Oliver, "What the fuck was that? You know Felix is drunk off his tits and India's rubbing real close."

"So? Shouldn't she know someone's making moves on her man?" Oliver asked. "Not exactly fair - "

"It's not entirely fair to set Felix up like that," Farleigh sneered. "He misses her, so he drinks, flirts with girls. But he's not acting on it, you just want to get him in trouble, you fuckin' twat!"

Oliver shrugged, looking over in time to spy you approaching the couch. "He'll only get in trouble if he's acting on his impulses, being unfaithful," Ollie sneered.

When you made it through the crowd, you found Felix sitting on the couch, but what made you stop in your tracks was the little lady sat on his lap - a girl you recognized vaguely. Felix downed the shot being handed to him, grinning that stupid grin you adore, broad hands splayed on the girl's thigh as she curled into her chest with skinny arms wrapped around his neck. Her sticky lips whispered something in his ear, giving a small nibble that made your boyfriend laugh - always the ticklish type.

The alcohol you had already downed burned an angry hole in your gut, heart heavy with betrayal, feeling outrage at their audacity the longer you watched. You looked beside you and snatched the drink from a drunk guy, taking two dramatic strides up to them and without thought, launched the entire cup at the couple.

"You bitch!" India gasped, rocketing to her feet. Felix was about to yell himself, but when he looked up and registered your angry eyes glaring at him, he gaped in shock. "Seriously, what the fuck is your issue, slut?" India sneered, stamping her foot.

"Oh, fuck off, sweetheart," you snapped, "not like it's my boyfriend you're sitting on! Really wouldn't throw stones if I was you!"

Felix stood and pushed India to the side, "Baby - "

"Oh, spare me your fucking excuses, Felix! For Christ's sake! This is what you've been doing while I'm gone!? Huh!?"

"No - "

"Bullshit! Cass told me you're constantly partying, so is this what you do? Huh? Hang up the phone with me, come to these shitty parties, get shit faced, and take girls home before calling me in the morning? You even wait until they're gone before dialing my number?"

"Darling, I swear - nothing was happening, nothing was going to happen! I don't - "

"Well, not with us soaking wet!" India raged. "You're just a jealous hag, I mean, you're dating someone like Felix but I've never even seen you! Maybe if you were a better girlfriend, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere!"

"Jesus Christ, India! Fuck off - NOW!" Felix bellowed, shocking the girl. "You don't know a Goddamn thing you're saying, and you know you're too desperate - "

"Oh! So, you're moving in on 'desperate' girls 'cause they're easy, right?" You snapped. "She might be desperate, but you are fucking pathetic, Felix! I know you get everything you want, I know you don't know real consequences, but I don't have to add to that!"

"Let's just talk outside," he tried, looking more and more like a kicked puppy.

"I'm not going anywhere with you again. This isn't working, Felix, there's no way I can trust you - not when I've just seen - this!"

"Baby, it isn't - look, this isn't what it looks like! Okay? I know it looks bad, but I don't touch them - "

"There's more!? Of course, there's more - 'cause why have just one, right?"

He winced, "I just - listen, I only flirt, baby, I swear, but I-I know that's not much better. You bein' gone, I-I have this pent up energy - "

"Oh, the poor rich boy! Unsupervised without his girlfriend, so you think it's okay to flirt with other girls? Have them sit on your lap? Touch them? Flirt all night?"

"I know it sounds bad - "

"No, you know what?" You chuckled ruefully. "You two have fun, I'm out. I'm so fucking done with you, Felix, this relationship - it obviously isn't viable. So, have your skank, but make sure you get to a clinic. You obviously couldn't choose someone decent to cheat on me with, make sure she doesn't give you any STDs."

"What did you say, bitch!?" India tried to surge up to you, but Cassandra stepped in and shoved both her shoulders; sending her sprawling to the dirty, sticky floor.

"Watch yourself," she barked, dropping another drink on her and making India squeal. She glared at Felix and approached you, hushing, "You okay?"

"No."

"Let's get outta here," she nodded, wrapping you in her arms and leading the way out - not like she had to, students parted way like the Red Sea to let you two pass.

"Wait!" Felix rushed, grabbing his jacket and following you both out. Despite the heels, mini dresses, and alcohol, you and Cass were sober enough to scurry down the stairs and outside by the time he caught up. "Baby! Wait! Please, c'mon, let me explain!"

"You've done enough! I've seen enough!" You yelled back, Cass not stopping you two from making your escape. "Just fuck off back to your whores, Felix!"

"No, no," he rushed in front of you two, forcing you to stop. "Let me talk to you, please, you think it's worse than it is, I mean - "

"Awh, you think just touching other bitches isn't that bad?" Cass sneered. "Silly slut," she scoffed, rolling her pretty eyes.

"Cass, do you mind? This is between us," He sighed.

"Oh-ho, I very much mind," she rolled her eyes. "Grovel if you want, but I'm not leaving you two alone."

"I don't want to talk, Felix! For fuck's sake, I saw all I needed to. I'm literally killing myself slowly in Scotland, trying to secure my own future 'cause not all of us can be born into money - "

"Baby, that's not fair - "

" - And you're here, living your best life, being fucking deceitful, aren't you? Your girlfriend on the side and a full buffet of sluts to choose from - and nobody would know 'cause I wasn't in the fucking country! You know what?" You chuckled, "Thank you, actually. Thank you for proving what I feared the most and cutting us free. Better to know now than later when I'm far more invested. Enjoy your pick of the fucking litter, Felix, 'cause I'm removing myself from this equation, you're now free to do whatever you want - don't have to be such a gentleman anymore and just flirt with them."

"You're right, okay? You're right, I wasn't thinking, I was trying to - I don't even know! Have 'the college experience', I think, and I got carried away. I'm so sorry - "

"You're only sorry 'cause you got caught," Cass snapped.

"Ohk for fuck's sake - Cass, I love you and all, but do you mind if this stays between my girl and I?"

"Oh, so you inviting all that female attention was 'keeping it between you'?" She cocked her head, rolling her eyes. "C'mon, babe, let's go. You don't need to hear his pathetic whinging anymore."

"Think you're right," you sniffled from the cold. "Bye, Felix."

"Please - let's just talk about this!"

"No more talking!" You barked. "You don't need to defend yourself, I saw her with you - I don't need your excuses! This is over, Felix, just - for God's sake, fuck off, already!"

He froze, never hearing such aggressive words from you before. In the years you were friends and the two you've dated, you hadn't so much as raised your voice at him - even when upset. To hear such profanity at this level shocked him. He's heard you yell, but usually at other people; he's heard you curse, but typically from excitement. He felt overwhelmed watching Cassandra walk you away under her arm, the tears surfacing and his confusion blinding; wondering how the hell he had managed to fuck everything up THIS bad.

When you got back to her dorm, you were a wreck and Cassandra wasn't sure how to start comforting you. She watched you slide to the floor in tears and squatted to take your shoes off, set the bottle of tequila beside you, and then got comfortable on the ground, too. She stretched her arm around your shoulders, sighing sadly, and just held you when you sobbed uselessly into her neck.

No amount of crying would change the past. No amount of frustration or self-pity would help. No amount of regret would turn back time and prevent you from leaving your very attractive boyfriend to the mercy of Oxford sluts.

After an hour of just crying, Cassandra perked up and asked, "You wanna stay the night here or go to your sister's?"

"Felix knows where your dorm is," you sniffled, mascara down your cheeks and chin. "Maybe we should go?"

"You want me to come, too?"

"I don't want to be alone..."

"Lemme pack real fast," she agreed, leaving you on the floor to drink until you felt numb while she raced around to prepare a duffel bag. When she was finished, she hoisted you from the ground and took her car keys, shouldering your own duffel, and leading you out of the dorms. On your way to student parking, neither of you were surprised to find Felix sprinting in your direction.

"Baby! Wait, wait, wait! Please!" He begged, barely slowing down and literally skidding to a halt, nearly slipping on ice. "Just - please, let me talk to you. I-I can't let you leave thinking I fucked those girls - "

"Oh, just go fuck yourself, Felix!" You laughed.

"Is she drunk?" He asked Cass in mild shock.

"Do you know a better way to deal with a break up?" She rolled her eyes.

"We're not broken up - "

"I heard otherwise," she sneered. "You're not used to losing, Felix, but the rest of us, on Earth, know when a relationship is over."

"I made a mistake!" He pleaded loudly.

"Just one?" You snapped.

"No, you know what? I've made a few, but I swear, nothing fucking happened! Not with any of them!"

"Oh," you mocked, snickering to Cassandra.

"Just give me a chance - "

"I did," you interrupted sadly. "I gave you all the chances, Felix, and you still chose to betray me. So, you know what? I just need time to digest your bullshit betrayal, and in order to do that, I literally can't be around you."

"How will you know how sorry I am?"

"I know, I can see it - just like I saw that bitch on your lap," you scoffed. "Can we go now?"

"C'mon, babe," Cass agreed.

"Go? Go where?" He rushed, looking panicked.

"Away from you!" You laughed, holding onto your friends arm tightly as you wobbled in her borrowed shoes.

"At least let me help you - "

"Don't need help from a slut!" You shouted to the sky, not stopping.

Felix Catton was left standing in the snow, his heart walking away from him in heels too high.

And when you got to your sister's flat, Cassandra raided the fridge and brought you ice cream and pretzels - for something both sweet and salty. For the rest of the night, you cried while stuffing your face, but whatever it was worth, at the very least, you had your best friend there to wipe your tears.

Well, after a gut wrenching Christmas break, you went back to Scotland to finish an anticlimactic semester at one of the world's most prestigious universities. Without Felix to call, you dedicated more time to studying, which paid off, because by the end, you received the highest marks in your college and earned multiple letters of recommendations from well-respected professors.

But now that the year abroad was over, you were set to return to Oxford for the next three weeks to report back to your program chairs and give them an update. Suddenly, it was like the entire semester of avoiding your feelings about Felix caught up to you the moment you boarded the plane. You had stuffed your emotions deep down, ignored his morning and evening phone calls (yes, he still called everyday), and tried your hand at dating other people - but it wasn't the same. You hated that you missed him so much, but you figured you had more self-respect than to belittle yourself for a man.

A beautiful, kind, generous man... Who made a mistake... Who demonstrated remorse... Who understands what he did was wrong and hurtful... And your Daddy did raise you to 'forgive and forget'. But still, you had a difficult time forgiving Felix in full, and therefore, couldn't forget what he did.

The betrayal was still so fresh and you couldn't stomach the idea of even speaking to him. So, you decided to avoid him by any means.

When you returned to England, it was drearier than normal. Your sister wasn't able to pick you up this time, figuring you would just hail a cab when someone laid on their horn in a long, continuous, obnoxious beep. When you looked over, Cassandra was waving at you rapidly through her window.

With an easy grin, you rushed over to her car and tossed the few bags you had into the backseat before getting in the passenger seat. "What're you doing here?" You gasped, leaning in to hug your friend.

She returned your affection enthusiastically, then was pushing you off, "Bitch, I'm double parked in the red - we gotta go!" You laughed when she rushed off, heading back to Oxford as she explained, "But you said on the phone your sister wasn't getting you, so I took the liberty of reading between the lines."

"No, I didn't mean it like that - "

"I know you didn't," she grinned, "but I just wanted to get you to campus all the faster, I've missed you!"

"We have three weeks together before the start of summer," you reminded. "Ready for exams?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. "Enough of that! Tell me all about Scotland!"

You spent the rest of the car ride without a single thought spent on Felix - all too appreciative for friends. Until you got back to the dorms, that is. You'd been there all of an hour before there was a knock at the door and when Cassandra opened it, she glanced up and down the hall in confusion, not seeing anyone - but a bouquet of flowers caught her attention.

"Well, this is cute," she mused, picking up the flowers from the floor and closing the door. "Someone left flowers? Ew, bet they're from Jason - he's been begging me to get back together."

You didn't bother reminding her they were the same Felix always sent you. You just nodded and said they must've indeed been for her since nobody knew when you were coming back. Yet something in your stomach churned, knowing this was no coincidence, you knew they were from Felix, and the idea made you oddly... Warm.

You didn't want to be touched by the small gesture, but it was sweet. Reminded you of the good times between you and Fi. You felt your guts twist, realizing how much you missed him. None the less, you never said a word.

The following day was as normal as it could've been. People were looking both happy to see you and exhausted from prep work before final exams. You understood, having completed yours; all that was left was to write up a report to your dean and other department heads and present it. You spent your days in the library while everyone was in class, and while there, you were surprised to see Felix hunched over a set of books.

You didn't approach him, just chose a separate table and got comfortable. You were in the zone for a solid hour before a shadow loomed over you, making you jump when a hand met your shoulder. "Sorry, sorry," Felix rushed, hands held in defense. "Just thought I'd give you this - you seemed really focused."

You blinked when he set a blueberry muffin down. The gesture made you smile, "You remembered?"

For every study session, you had a blueberry muffin to munch on.

"'Course I do," he nodded rapidly. "Remember everything about you, love. And these were always your favorite, right?"

"Yeah," you breathed. "Uh, thanks, Fi, this was nice of you."

"Seemed really focused, wanted to make sure you ate," he half-smiled. "I didn't mean to interrupt, uh, j-just wanted t'say good luck on your presentation."

Your heart clenched when he walked away back to his table, not once looking up at you as he worked. He really only meant to give you the muffin, which surprised you - Felix was terribly persistent, and for some reason, you actually felt sad that he wasn't vying for your attention or forgiveness.

This felt like a reality check, reminding you that you were truly broken up. So, you just sniffled and focused again, nibbling on the muffin as you revised your report. You hated the tension, the distance, the disturbing idea that while gone, he had been with countless other girls. You especially hated that you began regretting leaving for a year, feeling as if you created this situation by leaving room for Felix to seek attention elsewhere.

You knew it wasn't the truth - this wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who decided to implode your relationship, to be unfaithful in the least bit; and seeking higher educational opportunity wasn't grounds for anyone to cheat. It felt entirely unfair; you were in the same position as Felix, alone in another country, missing your friends and family, and yet, YOU never sought attention - emotional or physical - in any way from anyone else.

You at least had a sense of loyalty. But at the same time, you tried to validate that this was "the best years of your lives" and Felix was a young, hot, rich boy. Why wouldn't he bask in the attention of others? He always had and it felt wrong to crucify him for being a lad with hormones.

You began to wonder, did you overreact? Of course you didn't!

But you missed him immensely.

For the three weeks left in the semester, Felix would leave flowers at your dorm room, brought you little treats, never impeded on your space, and just made himself known without being overwhelming. You thought it was endearing without giving him too much credit after his betrayal. For three weeks, he was sweet, kind, soft spoken, and from what you understood, turned reclusive - refusing any party invitation, even backing out of pub meetings.

He wasn't hanging with friends, drinking, distracted with girls. According to local gossip, if you could put stock into the words, this new behavior started right after Christmas; after your very public break-up.

You were mildly intrigued by his change of attitude, but didn't confront it. You felt distance was necessary for healing, yet there was no denying your love that still festered - and maybe, the idea that Felix was truly remorseful and loved you, too.

It all came to a cultivation on the day of your presentation. To say you were nervous was an understatement - pacing the entire night before, going over what you were going to say, making final revisions; driving Cassandra up the wall, but she was still supportive.

That morning, she left early for her own ventures, but made sure to help you pick out an outfit. It was something smart, it complimented your figure in a professional manner and made you feel powerful and like a "real" adult.

You packed your bag and walked to your college's lecture hall, getting there about 20 minutes early to set up your materials and run through your notes one last time. When your dean and other professors entered to settle in their seats at the front, you heard the upper backdoor open. When you looked up, you were shocked - like, actually shocked - to see Felix sitting up there with Cassandra, Farleigh, your parents and sister.

You tried not to dwell on their presence, but suddenly, knowing Felix was there to support you, you didn't feel so nervous anymore. Something about his viewing of your final project made you a little more confident, quelling your nausea as you cleared your throat and started your oral presentation that had a guided visual and 20-page report.

When you finished, you were grinning. Your deans applauded you, and from the back, so did your friends and family; in fact, Felix was on his feet, clapping with vigor. You handed over the flash-drive that housed your visuals and then your bound essay report, shaking the professors hands, and letting them leave.

When you turned, your family had descended the auditorium stairs and your friends were trailing after.

"Oh, you brilliant girl!" Your father gushed, wrapping you in a huge hug. "My perfect, most special girl! That was amazing!"

"Thanks, Daddy," you giggled. "What're you guys doing here?"

"Oh, Felix called," your mother informed, petting hair off your shoulder in a calming motion. "Glad he did, we're so proud of you."

"I didn't even know peers could sit in," you admitted.

"Apparently, they're not, but you know, Felix has a way with rules," your father sighed, shaking his head in amusement. "Thank God you got your mother's intelligence, fear you'd be shit outta luck if you had mine, eh?"

This triggered a round of other compliments from your loved ones; sister and Cassandra both beaming at you in pride, everyone offering their compliments on specific sections of your presentation to prove they really, truly had been listening. You felt bashful, waving them off out of embarrassment, and then you agreed to attend dinner for a celebration - your mother informing you that the summer would be spent in a French villa and details were to be discussed at the meal. But first, you noticed Felix still sitting high up in the lecture hall and promised you meet everyone at the dorm later.

When the hall cleared, you sighed and slowly made your way up to where Felix lingered; his form fidgeting nervously the closer you got. You dropped to the seat beside him with a deep sigh, ready to confront everything, when he offered a decently large bouquet of familiar flowers. "Congrats, love," he whispered. "Was really well-done, even if I didn't know half of what you were sayin'."

You accepted the flowers, petting the petals gingerly, then asking in a low whisper, "Felix?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I know how important this was for you, I asked them all to come so we could support you, knowin' you were nervous - "

"No," you interrupted, turning in your seat to face him. "Why'd you have to go and ruin us? Why wasn't I enough?"

He swallowed thickly, "It wasn't you that wasn't enough."

"Huh?"

"Think I felt insecure," he admitted. "You were at Edinburgh, bettering yourself and I think I got scared that you'd love it there so much, you know, that... You'd leave. Leave Oxford, leave England, leave... Me. So, I just... I don't have any excuse, honestly, love. I know I fucked up, but I think my fear was being projected in the worst way..."

You nodded, "Do you regret it?"

"Every fuckin' day."

"Any plans for tonight?"

"What?" He blinked in shock.

"You wanna come to dinner with us? I mean, you went through the trouble of gettin' everyone here - and I know you must've bribed someone to let them watch."

His cheeks reddened, chuckling nervously, "It wasn't... I didn't... All right, yeah, I had to pay off the custodian - he unlocked the door for us."

"Mhm," you smirked. "So? Dinner?"

"Are you sure?"

You nodded, "You made a mistake... A huge one, but a mistake none the less. We've had time apart, and I've learned, I don't want to be without you. My life is far more interesting with you in it and I feel less alone. So, if you want, I'd like for you to come to dinner with us, maybe work on our friendship again. See where things go?"

"As long as you're okay with it."

"I'm the one inviting you, yes, I'm okay with it," you chuckled at his nerves, standing, and offering your hand. "C'mon, Mum says we're spending the summer in France - maybe we can convince her to invite you, too."

"Doubt Cassandra would let that happen," Felix mused, shouldering his bag and taking your hand - instantly lacing your fingers together.

"Oh, on the contrary, she might like it; it'd give her something to do."

"What's that? Makin' me her personal punching bag?"

"Exactly," you grinned, squeezing his hand.

"Hey," he paused you before you could exit the auditorium, looking sadder than when his dog died; bottom lip gently trembling. "I just... I need you t'know, I'm really fuckin' sorry, love. I was an absolute idiot, I fucked this up - broke your trust. I regret nothing more, I was such a fuckin' arsehole, and I don't want to be without you, either. I realized I'm not myself without you, that me without you doesn't feel right - "

"Hey," you halted his rambling, "I can't tell you it's okay, Fi, because it's not, but your atonement is appreciated. We've been friends for so long, I don't think I want to walk away entirely - so, let's just go slow and figure our shit out." He nodded in agreement, letting you lead the way, smirking when you cheekily told him, "Mh, bit of advice though? You could try to get in good graces by payin' for dinner tonight."

"Done and done," he eased, releasing your hand to hang his arm around your shoulders, and just like old times, you raised your hand to lace with his, other wrapping around his waist. The smile didn't fall from Felix's face all night, and by the end of the night, had arranged to stay with your family that summer - Oliver Quick and what could've been a summer at Saltburn far from his mind.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 19

Emily has really been going full villain mode these past couple of episodes, huh? while I'm overall not a huge fan of how many women have been portrayed as rude/unreasonable as compared to their male counterparts, i do love an evil queen. i support women's wrongs.

oh, Gabby. how many people wish that were true. (very cute gabellie content as usual)

i wonder if this is a soft confirmation that we'll never see Gabby or Ellie compete again.

this is so important. also, Hunter, the heart is on Ally's pajamas, not her casual look with the jacket. unless he just drew that there because he loves Ally so much :D

glad that Tom can finally admit that he is a terrible liar. truly, the person Tom and Jake should blame is the hiring manager who hired Tom in the first place.

if you loved him this whole time then why did you lie to him about having another boyfriend, Tom? ,':/ (/lh) (i know that he was explaining in this scene that it's because he was afraid, i'm just saying that the extent of his fears is something that shouldn't be swept under the rug, and that i feel it wasn't properly set up enough in s1 or DCAS as a replacement. yes it was showcased in DCAS but we never got an explanation as to Tom's thought process between seasons that would change his mind to make him more fearful.)

*several people are typing*

we NEED to see jaiden teaching Miriam a tiktok dance.

this is your daily reminder to not take anything that's said in a greeting too seriously.

c'mon, Fiore, a true gen Alpha-er would know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell without having to look it up. unless, oh god, is that too much of a gen-Z reference for gen Alpha to understand...?

HE'S SUCH A DAD I LOVE THEM

this was probably my favorite line of the episode.

this was a really cute detail! even though they were both the archetypal "old person" of their season, Connor is still, like, 20 years younger than Miriam. it totally make sense that she'd still call him kiddo! just, not grandkiddo.

literally even Ellie is rooting for them to finish this plotline already. or maybe she's just feeling guilty for separating them in the first place, and she's lowkey hoping that the damage wasn't that severe.

that's... that's a crime? you can't just burn people, even if they're terrible??? i guess that, given Riya attempting to kill Aiden and directly breaking Connor's leg further, the definition of what counts as a crime is pretty lax in this universe. unless it's about destroying the environment. thanks, Tom! (/j)

also, why is Yul's scar so damn low res?

MCDONALD'S ELLIE ISN'T CANON??? D:

i wonder if this season is going to end with Grett giving Ellie a job/helping Ellie get a job. i could see fitness influencer and fashion designer working together well, as long as Ellie is okay designing athleticwear.

on one hand, i don't like that we don't get to have the finalists pick the people that they're closest with help them in the finale. this feels rather random, and in terms of real-world fairness, having a finalist get stuck with terrible help isn't very fair (i cite Top Chef season 4 as my example). however, i do appreciate how Disventure Camp always mixes the endgame up. it's not very fair in a real-world perspective, but given that it isn't a real game i appreciate the variety.

i also think that this is a nice fix to really incentivize whoever is helping the finalist after (in-universe) we had two really unpopular finalists, Fiore and James, who struggled to get any help. it feels like a reasonable decision that the in-universe showrunners would make.

don't distract him during the finale, you fool!

the Romber strategy!!! wow, and it's even in the first All Stars season, too :D

THE YUL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS BACK ON?!?!?!?!

FIORE FINALE CONTENT! FIORE FINALE CONTENT!

ain't no way she's actually winning and of that $100K though, lol.

y'know, this might as well happen.

Riya and Yul really are perfect for each other (platonic) because every time that either of them gets a chance to either repent and be a good person or double down and keep relentlessly chasing their goals, they both always choose the latter. they're gonna get punished in the finale big time for sure... to the extent that Yul hasn't already been punished by getting that scar(?) to the face. like, seriously, that could be even more damage to his career.

once again, i missed the real Hunter so much :,)

while i love the roast here, does Fiore actually have anyone's respect...?

that's a wrap, folks! the most important character arc of the season is over!

[betweenlands]

[ID: Two asks from my inbox. The first is from @12u3ie and reads "Drop the essay, Solar /nf". The second is from @artisticgryfess and reads "wait no tell me about joe being technos hels". /End ID]

holy shit you guys i'm not even a hermitcraft or dsmp blog rn. fair enough this is a longstanding conspiracy theory of mine, though. ok, so. Joe Is Techno's Hels, the not-an-essay (mainly because i'm not going to cite SHIT, this is PURELY in the realm of headcanon/theory except if i explicitly indicate something is supported by canon)

so, the joke theory starts like this: back when hermitcraft/dsmp crossovers were first getting popular, there were a lot of crack theories about "hels!joe is technoblade" because... well, a lot of factors. they're both loosely english majors (i know joe is a history major just humor me), both slightly strange guys who operate by their own logic, both have somewhat similar (ish?) accents, both have a very deadpan sense of humor and incredible delivery on that deadpan, and most of all both of them Cannot Be Killed In A Way That Matters.

however, i am your local Hels Analyst, no like seriously there's so much weird shit about helsknight we haven't discussed yet, and one (implied? this is a theory but i feel it holds water) thing that's always been key to me about Hels versions is... they represent bad traits present in the original individual. whether or not those bad traits are the Objectively Bad ones or the traits the original self-identifies as bad is pretty up in the air right now (welsknight come off anon i just need you to tell me if helsknight likes pineapple on pizza it is absolutely fucking critical to our understanding of hels lore) but we'll be going with the latter, for reasons i'll explain later and by later i mean right now.

so! assuming there are hels versions of more players than just welsknight (i cannot stress enough how much we technically don't know this in canon -- it can reasonably be extrapolated but we really aren't sure!), that brings up an interesting issue with techno being joe's hels.

joe is not a particularly violent person.

"well solar," you say, "what does that have to do with techno being joe's hels?"

"well, strawman i have made up to make this long-ass post more visually broken-up and less formal-feeling," i reply, "hels versions of players only exhibit traits that are present in the original person." and this is confirmed canon, by the way -- wels himself has explicitly cited specific ways he can sometimes suck that are directly visible in the way helsknight acts!

so. joe is not a particularly violent person, and... okay yes listen i know there's a lot of very good writing on how technoblade isn't entirely 100% down for violence all the time and maybe wants to peacefully retire, okay. i get it. i am not calling techno a murder machine all i'm saying is that one of them enjoys pvp enough that he helped train other people and the other one is recording as he always does from nashville tennessee. i am a variety mcyt blogger and the only dsmp essay i have ever written before now is about how the tftsmp metaplot parallels redstoner. just bear with me.

imo joe also exhibits a lot of self-awareness about his own bad qualities as a character, and none of those traits are really... present in technoblade? but here's where it gets interesting.

i am no genius and certainly no master c!technoblade analyst, but if we assume technoblade trained to become a fighter and identified certain of his traits as being Not Ideal for someone who focuses on pvp and being a strong pigman, we can. kind of see those traits in joe, even if we can assume technoblade has learned enough to stop displaying those traits:

will commit to the bit even if it's inconvenient for him

obnoxious about whatever form of literature is closest to him

will start quoting from that work of literature to fit the situation even when it totally doesn't fit the situation

zero bloodlust and an active need to avoid direct conflict; a tendency towards pacifism even

malicious compliance

perfectly timed awful timing

overwhelming amounts of Just Some Guy and also English Major energy

exceedingly stubborn and would rather go through a problem than around it; will also see a tunnel through a mountain and climb over the hill instead

and. hm! yeah that feels like a joe hills description. you could make a joe hills out of this. add to that the fact that both of them refuse to die, but technoblade never dies whereas joe conquers death by dying over and over and coming back repeatedly out of sheer spite -- yeah i'd say joe could very easily be seen as the hels of the two.

and if Hels, the dimension, is the hostile and horrible place that helsknight claims it is -- where "everyone's unyielding and everyone there rebels" -- well, only one of them has a (mostly) canonical backstory that involves struggling through a hellish landscape designed by a hostile architect who wishes to cause pain and suffering. and it's not technoblade.

[enobariasdistrict2]

24, 25, 26 + clato

24. Any doubts about the relationship? Ooh I love this question for them. I certainly think it applies if we're talking about canonverse clato and what we get from the books. Assuming they didn't know each other well beforehand, all that they expected from the dynamic was a partnership of convenience, so when the rule change happened and they started being a lot nicer and more considerate to each other despite what their district raised them to be, I think they must have had a lot of doubts about the change in the relationship.

25. How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in? In the Arena they obviously spent a lot of time together, both by choice and at the same time not? Lol. But outside of the Games: they're such a package deal that I feel like they spend a considerable amount of time together, especially since there's a deep trust and partnership between them and they have a lot of the same values. Like they understand each other so well and genuinely want to be around one another even if they'll obviously never admit it out loud, although I definitely think they both do require some personal space based on their generally unfriendly personalities. These two are in fact allergic to feelings, since they have to keep up the Angle of Brutual Bloody Cato/Mean Girl Clove. I don't think they'd vibe well with being emotionally vulnerable and sharing things, it doesn't come naturally to either of them and could definitely be seen as a weakness. But the beauty of their dynamic is that they can read each other well enough and eventually gently get the issue out of the other. They don't have a traditional way to communicate, they just know each other and understand that it's hard to open up.

26. How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families? OKAY so I guess we'll go modern AU or canonverse AU for this one. The closest things they canonically have to "friends" is Glimmer and Marvel, and I think based on canon they're not going to... care? But in modern AU verse they are extremely supportive and ecstatic about clato. I literally wrote them to be that way in my childhood besties clato AU. Then for families, I like to consider that from If Clato Had Won AU. No one expected there to be two Victors, especially not from d2. Cato and clove don't want to be another Star Crossed Lovers so they definitely keep their relationship under wraps but Clove's parents notice him sneaking out of Clove's window at odd hours of the night and Cato's family sees how uncharacteristically soft he is with her especially when he's generally rude to a lot of other people... I think they're a little nervous about this dynamic but ultimately supportive if only because they can see that clato are right for each other and fit well.

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Honestly? While there's no doubt that Luffy fucked up in Whiskey Peak? Like 80% of the outrage and 100% of the accusations of "ooc"ness come from 1) the misconception of Luffy being this super intuitive guy leading to him being put on an altar, and 2) a refusal to allow him any emotional depth.

To start off – Luffy's not that intuitive. The closest thing to it is what the crew call his "animal instincts" in Water 7, where he predicts that he will have to fight Rob Lucci, like he predicts other fights before and after. Only – is that really what happens? He "just knows"? Because, from what I remember, he very clearly identifies him as the leader and the strongest member of CP9 (#366: "of all the people we'll be fighting in a little while, the strongest is that pigeon guy! I'l definitely be the one to send him flying!"). Of course he assigns himself to fight him. That's his reasoning every other time, as well. At times (certainly not often, but sometimes), he demonstrates actual strategic thinking, like with Moria.

I think a lot of people want to think that Luffy "intuits" the Straw Hats' potential or even their pasts when he asks them to join, but we don't see any evidence of that. What we do see is a lot of instances where Luffy witnesses good things about his friends, both in terms of skill and of character. In Brook's case, he literally just went "talking skeleton cool cool cool cool cool". And that's all. It might be hard to swallow that some of the deepest and strongest bonds we see in the series, the most important ones and the cornerstone of the story, are based on something as flimsy as "hee hee I like you be my nakama", that Luffy didn't somehow know that they needed to be taken in. But that's just the way it is. Hell, if it had been solely up to him, Kureha, Iceberg and a bunch of random zombies without a will of their own who were trying to kill them would be part of the crew.

I think that what happens is that Luffy is very undiscerning and undemanding about who can join the crew or even sail with them (he also let Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 go with them without a fuss, same with the Franky Family, who he only knows from, you know, having beat up Usopp and stolen 200mil berries from them) and we want to think that there's some deeper reason for it. We know that it's nothing rational, because we're not so detached from what's happening on the page, so that leaves some kind of instinct telling him that these are the right people. It's a nice idea – it gives Luffy some unconventional wisdom to make up for his lack of it otherwise and fits well with his upbringing in the jungle.

But there's not really anything special about the people he picks up, except the fact that he picks them up. Not in the sense that they're special because of him, but that they become special to him. That's the real reason why he goes after Nami and Robin and Sanji when they leave. It's not that, oooh, he can sense how tortured and traumatized they are and that deep down they're good people. Nah – he just believes them when they say they are his people, so he refuses to abandon them.

And, okay, this might seem damning in the context of Whiskey Peak, because where was this faith when it came to Zoro, who arguably earned it more than anyone else in the crew? To be honest, that's one of the points where I'll concede that Luffy fucked up the most, but there is another matter at play here: everyone else claimed to be on his side, or at least be a certain kind of person, before apparently turning on him. He chose to believe that original impression out of loyalty.

Not only is Luffy not that discerning, he is known for being a sucker for deception. He can't lie, and he's so honest that most of the time he can't even conceptualize that someone might be lying to him. ("Are you going to betray me?" "No." *grins*) The idea that he could just... take a look at someone and divine either good or evil intent goes directly against canon. He gets taken in by CP9, by Kanjuro, hell, he buys that King Cobra betrayed Alabasta as Vivi is telling him of how Crocodile manipulated them.

And that leads me into Whiskey Peak and point 2.

Before we start, think back to Wano, if you would. (If you haven't reached Wano, don't worry, the spoilers in this paragraph are very light.) Imagine that, after spending the day with Tama, and Tsuru, and Kiku, and the rest of the village who gave up their scarce supplies to feed them, Luffy and Zoro go to sleep. The morning after that, Luffy wakes up to a massacre. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has been cut down. The people who helped them, the people who he was talking and laughing with just a few hours ago, dead or near enough. He recognized Tsuru among the pile of bodies and she still has some breath left, so he asks who did it.

Basically, imagine sympathetic victims to the Whiskey Peak massacre.

When we read Whiskey Peak, we know there's something fishy going on. For starters, it's Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9's town, which makes it suspicious enough. Then, before the attack, we see them writing a letter saying that they wanted the Straw Hats to go there, making it obviously dangerous. This is without even getting into the clear threat evident to us readers because we know this is a story and that there's no way the heroes will have it that easy. We mistrust and refuse to sympathize with the Whiskey Peak inhabitants from the start. Until the reveal that Vivi's undercover, they're enemies and future meatsacks to us. We forget that that's not the case for the Straw Hats. Especially, that's not the case for Luffy, who takes everyone at face value.

I think a lot of people maybe get too caught up in their image of Luffy as a sort of chaos, "do things for the laff" entity who'll liberate you from tyranny in exchange from food, so they don't realize that there might be emotional, non-transactional reasons for his behavior. That he feels thankful to the people who help him, because he's survived on the kindness of others all his life and he would've died without it (and if you think that doesn't apply now that he's a pirate, go back to read the Baratie arc). That he might get attached to the people who are kind to him and others. That, even if he doesn't feel affection for them, he'll still be outraged when their kindness is met with cruelty by others. We joke about his disproportionate responses to being fed (aka overthrowing the government for a bowl of rice), but that's because he's not acting under a perceived debt, but out of a bond he's created with his benefactor/s.

So Luffy, who couldn't understand duplicity if it showed up with a twin, gets to a village full of people who happily welcome him and his crew, who appear to do this for every weary traveler that has just passed through the harrowing ordeal of Reverse Mountain. They offer them food, drinks and shelter for as long as they need it. Not only that, they all spend hours partying together, chatting, having fun. Than, Luffy wakes up to find everyone either slaughtered or nearly – the people he was partying with not long ago, from the elderly to children, and, okay, gross, but let's recognize that One Piece is a piece of media with an antiquated system of gallantry that says that it's also an outrage that the women were also hurt. He walks up to one of them and asks them who did it. He says it was Zoro.

Take a moment to place yourself in his shoes. This was objectively a horrifying experience. You wouldn't be surprised if he went after the culprit if it was a stranger. And while I think he should have given Zoro the benefit of the doubt, there's something actually a lot more horrifying in the fact that it was one of his friends who did it: that means Luffy's responsible. He's the one who brought Zoro there, after all. Most codes of honor would have the leader of a group vouching, at least implicitly, for its members.

And it might have easily felt like a betrayal. Not because Zoro went against Luffy, but because he let him down.

A lot of people bring this fight back to loyalty – hasn't Zoro shown Luffy how loyal he is? (And, you know what, I think we could have an interesting discussion about that? About what's said, what's implied, also what's actually witnessed by the characters, but never mind.) Zoro promised him he'd be the best, and that he'd stick by Luffy in his path to achieve that... but he never promised he'd never cruelly cut down an entire village in the meantime, something which is not beyond what any other pirate would do, loyalty notwithstanding. And a good thing, too, because he did, in fact, do that in WP!

That's the other thing. Imagine waking up to a whole village of people who helped you and your crew cut down by a member of said crew. The children included. The idea of there being a good reason for it is actually more out there than a prideful and powerful man who agreed to become a pirate, specifically to establish himself as the strongest in his field, would lash out at the flimsiest offense to his ego, to be honest.

Basically, it all goes down to how this guy, so honest he can barely conceive of being lied to when he's directly informed of it, should have walked out to find bloodied piles of bodies and gone "this guy with violent tendencies I met like a month ago killed dozens of people, including children, who fed us and sheltered and fed us, who I like because of that, probably did it for a good reason". Forgive me if I bring up the children too much, it's just that, if there's one demographic you don't expect anyone to have enough of a good reason to maim, it's that one. Faced with this kind of scene, it makes sense to doubt your initial judgement of a person.

Of course, what he did see of Zoro before that should have told him enough to at least doubt. At the very least, he should have heard him out before killing him. Zoro did try to explain. (Then again, if someone admitted to slaughtering a whole neighborhood and then claimed to have a good reason for it I wouldn't be jumping to hear them out.)

That said, it's not about Luffy doubting Zoro's loyalty, it's about doubting his character when faced with incredibly damning evidence against it. One the one hand, maybe Luffy's the one who should've been more loyal. On the other, the fact that his loyalty didn't extend to forgiving one of his crew when they apparently go rogue and attack not just an entire village, but of full of people who helped them and continuously did the same for others, just goes to prove that he doesn't have the moral backbone of a wet noodle, in addition to checking out with his tendency to develop an attachment to people who feed him.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

maybe one day, we'll trade places

since ao3 is still under attack i thought maybe i'd share the first ~600 words of a fic i started back in march and i've been working on in fits and starts ever since. i have no idea when i'll finish it but this is possibly the closest i'll ever get to writing something in s4 canon so... enjoy!

The sky looks the same. That's the first thing that comes to mind when Eddie opens his eyes and the world comes into focus once more. It's dark and hazy; ripples of lightning crack across his vision, rolling thunder echoing after every one.

It's still the Upside-Down. At least, that's what it seems like.

Eddie starts to sit up, expecting unbelievable pain to shoot throughout his body the moment he moves, but it never comes. He grabs at his clothing, finding the holes that the demobats tore through the fabric to get to him - to his flesh and organs - but he finds no wounds. No blood.

Nothing makes any sense. Eddie thought there couldn't possibly be a way for life to make even less sense than it did a few days ago when Chrissy levitated up to his ceiling and cracked like a glowstick in front of his very eyes, but maybe he was wrong.

Or maybe this isn't life anymore. Maybe it's death.

Eddie swallows hard as he draws in a deep breath. His lungs still work, as far as he can tell. He presses his hand against his chest and feels his heartbeat racing. How can he be alive and dead at the same time?

If he's here - wherever here is - then where's everyone else? He looks around and finds nothing but a wasteland. There's no trace of his trailer, no trace of Hawkins at all. It's all gone.

Did they win? Did the others defeat Vecna? Is Eddie stuck in some sort of purgatory as penance for not doing enough when he was alive? For running away when—

He shuts his eyes and draws his knees to his chest, holding them tightly as he shakes. He tried to do the right thing. He tried to help, he tried to make things right, he tried. If he couldn't bring Chrissy back, the least he could do was sacrifice himself so that the others had a fucking chance.

But maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe they're all stuck in the same sort of place he is. If they are, all Eddie can do is hope they're not alone.

When Eddie finally deigns to lift his head, to open his eyes again and look around once more, he sees a shape in the distance. He squints, unable to make it out from so far away. He pulls himself up from the ground and glances around as though there might be someone watching him from afar.

But there's nowhere for anyone to hide. If there were anyone around, Eddie would see them. He's alone and he knows it.

With a slow breath, Eddie starts walking towards the shape in the distance. For a while, it doesn't seem like it's getting any closer. He walks and walks, expecting for something to change. Something to happen.

Time passes, or at least he thinks it does. Does time even exist in this place? If this is purgatory then wouldn't it be everlasting? He checks his watch but the electronic face is blank, only adding to his frustration and leading him to rip it from his wrist and toss it aside.

Eddie stops short after his watch hits the ground. It clatters and then vanishes before his eyes, only to reappear on his wrist a moment later.

"Okay," he says aloud, hardly even noticing the crack in his voice as he twists his arm around. The watch remains right where it was before he took it off, and Eddie chalks it up to more Upside-Down fuckery he wasn't aware of before.

It doesn't settle the part of himself that keeps wondering am I dead, but Eddie's fairly certain that there's little that could at this point. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. He doesn't see a way out of here.

[quinloki]

Spicy Asks: Seduction, Favorite, & Aftercare with Marco AND Sabo. Figured I'd tackle the blondes with this one.

Ah greedy, greedy! I love it \o/ Alright, lets dive in

Spicy Self-ship asks - mdni - I can't say I'll get Super Spicy, but better safe than sorry so below the cut it goes.

-:- Seduction -:-

Marco:

There's no exactly a lot of work needed to seduce Marco. This man is always on and all he waits for is knowing I'm in the mood too. He hides it well, sure, but it takes little more than a whispered "Marco, please." In his ear and he's going to wrap up whatever he's working on to fulfill my request.

There's fun to be had with outfits and such, plenty of chances for imagination and desire to flourish, but the level of effort isn't ever really high.

In the reverse it's usually a matter of offering to help me shower, or giving his own soft little whispers of maybe I should wear that one thing >.> Unless I'm in pain, I'm not exactly a difficult motor to rev either.

Sabo:

He's a little more clueless than Marco, but not by much. Intimacy might not be the #1 thing on his mind, but it's close. In a more canon setting I'd be apt to just slip a lewd note into his pile of paperwork when he's at the base, or greet him in bed with something inviting on.

More modern settings I'd be a little more bratty about things. Text messages filled with begging words and tempting photos. Great multi-tasker that he is, I imagine he checks the texts while he's on the phone and has to struggle to keep his focus where he needs it before he can wrap up the call.

In the reverse, Sabo can be subtle, but I think once the relationship is set he's anything but. Hands and lips wander in greeting whether there's been naughty texts or not, but if I'm not up for it, it's the same bright smile and a question of what would I like?

-:- Favorite -:-

Marco:

Marco'll say he loves the way I squirm, the way he can ask me to be louder for him and I will and it doesn't sound forced, but more like I just stopped trying to hold back.

For me it's when his voice drops low and he says anything. I'm just - it's not fair -there's a part of me that almost wants to call him daddy because of it, but I have not.

Sabo:

He enjoys the squirming too (I'm a squirmer, this is gonna be a theme), but more than that it's when he can get the really deep angry sounds out of me. It's not easy, and we're not both always up for it, but he does love when it happens.

For me it's that little shift of madness. I trust him, implicitly, but I always wonder what that glint in his eye is going to come up with next >.>

-:- Aftercare -:-

Marco:

Marco's almost always in charge of initiating aftercare. I don't have a fraction of his stamina for starters. Someone has to get me into the groove of getting cleaned up afterward, cause gods know I don't want to move.

Before that though is snuggles and cuddles. Talking through things, and both of us checking in on the other. I don't feel like I really carry my share of the weight with aftercare, but Marco reassures me I give him what he needs, so I don't sweat it.

Also there's not usually too much kink involved - sometimes, sure, but Marco's probably my closest to vanilla of all my blorbos. It's just such a marathon affair XD

Sabo:

Aftercare with Sabo can sometimes turn into a second session, just with how intense it can get all by itself. We both come down from the high of however a session wrapped up and there's a lot of talking. I need to make sure he's not someplace dark, and he makes sure I'm okay. Time with Sabo can get really deliciously twisted, so we're both extra careful with aftercare.

But once we get out of the reeds so to speak, talking about the details often gets us both worked back up - unless someone calls a stop (work in the morning, oh gods my back, etc.) it usually slips into a second, often more intense session as preferences are refined.

Aftercare after that is almost always in the bathroom, cause if we don't wash up we'll pass out in bed.

Spicy self-ship asks

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

Just catching up on Summer Game Fest. Who thought a Dune MMO would be a good idea? I just watched the trailer and am bamboozled by the whole concept.

"What if Jessica had a daughter?" She would get married to Feyd Rautha and have a monster baby the end

"This is the only good timeline" directly contradicts the concept of the books, in which canon timeline is the closest anyone will get to a good option

But the main thing is that you're making an MMO out of an IP in which worldbuilding was NOT a priority for the creator. The logic of the world doesn't make sense, Herbert didn't really need to elaborate on how the scope or impact of anything work, how the tech works, anything like that. The stuff that holds the world of Dune together are rubber bands made of themes, introspection, and drugs. So rather than developing a tightly controlled linear story, Funcom are opting for placing the world front and centre in a game that will need updated content, seemingly restricted to Arrakis. It just feels like not the right direction to doing the books any justice.

Also I guess we'll just breeze past "the only good timeline is the one where we finished the job and exterminated all the Fremen" like!!!! Okay!!!!

[kawarikisaki]

The only real problem I have with your theory is while we don’t know much about Toichi’s Kid him being responsible for a gang that does so much evil does seem a bit out of character but then again if Night Baron is based on his Kid and he’s also a murderer maybe he was a far darker version of Kid than his son. But he couldn’t have been too dark as Kid. But then a lot can change in 8 years. There’s another meaning to the string of numbers name he had before Yusaku gave him the name Kid. 1412. Since he refers to himself as his original title in the wallet. That and I’m pretty confident Chikage knows about at least Corbeau can’t see her being okay with her husband being the head of the most evil criminal group in the canon. (Though Toichi was totally taking a page from her book with his interaction with Shinichi and Ran.)Though he could be keeping that from her too. I really hate this. Because for a crack theory it’s pretty solid. He might already know his “older brother is alive” though wouldn’t he be upset that his subordinates almost murdered his son?

Alrighty, hope you're ready for a long one, because it's time to discuss what we know about Toichi/Kid the first, and just how easy it is to twist some of it into a sinister light. And also a few other marginally connected thoughts, because I may as well keep this mostly consolidated.

We'll start with Kid. You're right that we don’t have much on him, because we only have two direct examples of Toichi as Kid, one being the Phantom Lady flashback, and the other being the encounter with his 'older brother'.

The Shinichi encounter isn't particularly helpful for this, as he was very much putting on a character for a child, and even if Shinichi has a idetic memory we're getting a recounted version of the child's perspective ten years after the fact.

But Phantom Lady? Helpful, we have Toichi claiming to prefer more elegant methodology than those employed by Phantom Lady. And he also states that he didn’t initially intend for the white suit to be his crime outfit, it was meant to be a stage costume (though he may be lying here, why would he need a hanglider in his stage costume?), but knowing that it was meant to be for his 'civilian identity' and assuming that he's also Corbeau then we can assume that the black suit he'd have been able to fully plan matches his true tastes more.

But we can also make a few assumptions based on the fact that Nakamori-keibu, the closest thing to a Kaitou Kid expert that we can use for this (Yusaku isn't helpful he’s a gremlin, he would gladly confuse the situation for fun) and the fact that he was under the impression that new Kid and Old Kid were the same person means that Kaitou Kid’s MO didn't change considerably enough for Nakamori-keibu to question them being the same Kid. Which means that if Toichi was doing any murders as Kid then he wasn’t getting caught, since Nakamori-keibu is confident Kid wouldn’t murder to the point that if a death happens at a heist he just hands off the crime scene to the homicide detectives as "nope not Kid."

That said, I think that if Toichi is secretly Karasuma Renya then its likely that he wasn’t doing murders as Kid, but rather just playing around and taking the chance to lead a fun and fulfilling life. Karasuma Renya is supposedly greedy beyond compare, why not be a jewel thief, get a wife to place in his 'jewelry box', a humble home considering his fame as a performer (a sign that he's stockpiling his real wealth elsewhere?), and hey lets toss in a child too- people enjoy raising children. That is to say it was possibly just something being done on a whim.

And since you brought up the names... I've always thought of the "Kaitou 1412" number as like a police assigned case number or something, rather than a meaningful name that Toichi came up with himself. And, as such, i tend to view him signing with it as something akin to a formal signature. Though as for why he would use a formal signature on what was essentially meant to be a correspondence between friends... I don't really have an answer; perhaps the name 'Kid' was only recently established at that point and part of the purpose of this whole communication was too accept the new name (but I doubt that because i feel like if the name Kid didn't come up till that late in his carrer as a thief then it probably wouldn’t have stuck for long enough to be the primary name in use when Kid returned.) In any case here, I'm meaning to point out that he didn't get to name himself as Kid, so much like how the costume supposedly wasn't initially intended for crimes and therefore the black one is probably more planned and in line with his actual tastes- the name Corbeau was likely the same.

As for Chikage.... whether she and Toichi are acting as Corbeau together or Toichi is doing it alone there’s no getting around the fact that she definitely knows about it, and most likely she’d have to be in on it. Though whether that means she's also aware that he's a crimelord on an international scale on the side (which would be pretty hard to hide) isn't necessarily connected, after all the Boss and Corbeau could be two entirely separate crime-sonas he's got going on. For the sake of the theory it makes more sense if she's helping him; in the DCMK world people that are presumed dead can get away with a lot, but it'd definitely be easier with someone aside from just his underlings helping to make moves for him. Though don't know if he'd have told her that Kuroba Toichi is an alias and he's old enough that he should be long dead...

In any case, it's bad news for Kaito in so many ways. Not only is his dad alive, regularly in Japan, and not contacting him; as it turns out, he's also very much a worse criminal than Kaito originally thought. Kaito had already been somewhat shaken when he found out his dad was Kid. He hadn’t wanted it to be true and even resolved himself to follow the same path to understand. So what happens if he finds out his dad is murdering people- or at the very least ordering others to murder on his behalf so he doesn’t dirty his own hands? What happens if he finds out that when he almost blew up on a train doing a favor for his little detective that the people behind were acting on his dad's orders? What happens if he finds out that it was probably part of the plan for him to be brought into the 'family business'? I'd like to think he'd be disgusted... but there are darker paths that could be taken given what Toichi's skill set likely includes and especially considering how much Kaito loves and respects his dad.

As for what Evil Toichi would think about his underlings almost killing his son... well again the MK organization and the black organization are two different groups, but it is true that the crows have tried to kill Kid- even if by accident. I don't think that he'd be particularly upset about it, every time that Kaito has been involved with anything related to the BO he's gotten involved with of his own volition, and besides Kaito is plenty skilled enough to survive just about anything. Everything we know about Toichi from canon just leads me to think he's the kind of person who has immense confidence in his own skills, so if I'm gonna twist him into a villain I've just gotta push that a little farther, maybe he's holding Kaito to the same standard he holds himself and thinks that a 'little assassination attempt' would never be enough to even touch someone that he trained... And maybe if Kaito did die to such a thing he wasn't a worthy heir to begin with. Or maybe it's not quite that sinister and he sees Kaito almost dying as something like a training exercise. But whatever the case he must not be too concerned about it, given that as far as we're aware those responsible haven't really received any punishment.

Yeah, it's ridiculously solid, the fact that there's not really anything concrete that can be used to refute it is kinda wild to me even now. But I still consider it a crack theory because even if it's plausible it's not good if Kaito's story and Shinichi's story need to be two separate things. It's wonderful for the purposes of fanfiction because it very cleanly connects their stories, depending on how Kaito takes the news he can be disgusted with his dad's actions and join Conan to stop him or he can join his dad and become a villain.

But like I mentioned in one of my previous posts this would be messy for the narrative on a meta level if it turned out to be correct, and that's why I consider it a crack theory and not just a theory. If it's true then it's fine for Magic Kaito to become required reading for Detective Conan- it's a very different kind of story but it's short and it'd give important backstory, but conversely it's kinda unfair for Detective Conan to become required reading for Magic Kaito. Sure most people that are interested in one are probably already reading the other... but imagine a fictional scenario where someone is reading Magic Kaito after it's finished; it's around 50 chapters give or take, and the ending feels kinda hollow because even though Kaito found out his dad was a villain and resolved to bring him to justice but then the story just ended there... , then this person goes onto tumblr or reddit or some other fandom space and finds out that the real ending is locked behind reading 1752 chapters of a completely separate manga where Kid was a cameo character early on then eventually joined the main cast to take on the final threat. Plus it'd make things weird because it would feel like Yusaku should have a bigger role than he currently does if his old friend/rival is the villain...... unless Yusaku dies.

[chryseis]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

This took me the whole day to respond to, because I usually cringe at the idea of rereading my own writing lmao. Okay, in no particular order:

come from the holy fire

I would like to study Roy Mustang under a microscope, but this fic is the closest I'll get. The argument he has with Hughes in the second chapter is one of my favourite bits of dialogue I've ever written.

in the lost myth of true love

I generally write the messier, damaged sides to Riza and Roy, so writing something much more tender was a nice change of pace. Their conversation about choices had floated around in my head for a while before I wrote it down, and I like the way it turned out.

there's nothing you can do (it's already been done)

It's very possible that this is my favourite fanfic of my own. Kimblee is such a weird character to write, but in such a rewarding way. I have a headcanon that that Riza was under Kimblee's command during the war, and would have stayed that way if he hadn't gone to prison (I will definitely return to this thought one day). Writing this and going really, really dark while also staying true to canon was very fun. Also, I wrote this not too long after getting into Ethel Cain, and it shows lmao.

breathe, darling, breathe in deep for me

Surprise, not FMA! I wrote this in 2018, but it remains one of my favourites. Someone asked me to write something like this way back in my ff.net days as a kid (2009ish), so when I started writing Deltora Quest again, it was a topic that I really wanted to tackle. Jasmine has been a favourite character of mine for, my god, around twenty years?? I like to think that my greatest strength as a writer is characterisation, and I really think I did right by Jasmine in this.

we'll go down together

This one is very short, but I think it really captures the way I personally view Roy and Riza, especially during the war. It was also adapted in to a fantastically well done podfic, which was very flattering.

[kyluxtrashpit]

So, as some of you may know, I've been playing bg3 for a while and @nivaliente gave my an insane idea that has not left me alone and thus is happening now lmao (and I've already started the play through 😅). For those unfamiliar with the character creator, the face options are very limited so this was genuinely the best I could do. His hair also covers his scar, thus the bald pic, but it is what it is. And I’ve lost my mind, so I’m kinda alternating between my Durge and him cause why not

Here's my ruleset for this playthrough (behind a cut cause it got a bit long lmao):

The concept is we're just going to take him right from star wars canon, post-TFA, to somehow ending up on the nautiloid (so like. Idk maybe after being rescued off Starkiller he took a shuttle ahead to Snoke and it got waylaid). So he knows nothing about anything (as far as the game allows at least) and we're using post-TFA characterization, so he's in his peak 'doubts and instability' era

He’s a paladin with oath of the ancients to represent the jedi but I broke the oath as soon as I could (that made sense), so he's an oathbreaker, since you can't start as that

We're also doing Tav, not Durge, even though Durge suits him a lot, simply because I want to stick with my 'literally straight from canon' background

DREAM GUARDIAN OG REN

We're also going to pretend he can't see the map/nav points cause my boy would just run from main objective to main objective and do 0 side objectives, which would be a Problem levelling wise lmao. I still expect him to refuse to get involved with some (okay, probably a lot of) things, but I need him to encounter as much as possible if we don't want to be insanely underlevelled the whole time and make it impossible for bad-at-strategy-games me to get through the game lmao

I'm not planning any of my decisions with him, because Kylo would never plan out his decisions lmao. We're doing largely just raw rp based on what dialogue I think makes the most sense for him (regardless of consequences 😅). That also means that all decisions will be based on what he knows and discovers and figures out about possible ways to resolve a situation. So if I know something he hasn't found out, I will not use that knowledge to help him. I expect this will lead to some Non-Ideal situations (though who knows, maybe it'll help him in some ways lmao)

This also means that if I know he would want x to happen, but the thing he would say would lead to y happening, I will let him fumble into that. Kylo's entire life story is about doing things that never had a chance of resulting in what he actually wants to happen so. It's really the most in character I could be lmao

The exception to this will be in cases like. Where he would want to kill an NPC but there's no 'attack' dialogue unless you take this one specific route that doesn't match what I think he would say, simply because I don't want to glitch anything by killing those NPCs out of combat. So there will be an occasional fudge there

And with the dialogues, we’re gonna pick the closest in vibes, cause even early on there’s a lot of times where I’m like ‘well I don’t think he’d say any of these things’ so. We’re going with what we’ve got and that’s the best we can do

I'm also not going to do anything that's like 'well Kylo is a villain, so we'll just click all the evil options'. We're picking what I think he would actually do, or as close as I can get at least, with no regard for what the outcome will be in terms of either my or his preferences

I'm not planning any romances, but if one just Happens, well, we'll go from there (I do headcanon Kylo as gay though, so male options only, he will turn down the women if/when they offer)

I am gonna try not save scum so much (keyword being ‘try’ lmao) just to kinda make it more realistic but I’ll still probably do it sometimes

The one thing I am gonna do that's technically ooc is, if he does fight the goblins (I'm kinda expecting him to, he's gonna fight everyone lbr - boy is not the alliance making kind of person), I will at least try to spare Minthara (I didn't get a chance to on my first run and on my second run, I'm not at Moonrise yet so I don't actually know if I did it right). This isn't because Kylo would, this is because I'm very worried about how many companions we're gonna have near the end of the game lmao. I am expecting to lose at least a few 😅 So we're just gonna pretend that she managed to survive a seemingly fatal blow, something that happens in star wars literally all the time anyway

Also I’m kinda breaking characterization to recruit most of the companions in the first place, given Kylo isn’t much of a ‘well let’s buddy up’ kind of person so. Instead of like ‘good luck with that, I don’t need any company’ we will largely make/accept offers to buddy up cause otherwise we would be playing this game entirely with hirelings and that’s no fun lmao. He's also not really the type to chat away with them either, but we need some interactions here to make anything happen so. Gotta fudge some things for the sake of an interesting playthrough

I am including some of my personal headcanons into his characterization, like I see him being the type to prefer animals to people, so indiscriminate animal violence is something I don't agree with him doing (yay, Scratch is gonna be okay!). Self-defence only. I also think that while he doesn’t necessarily like children, he doesn’t like to see bad things happen to them (especially if those things remind him at all of things that happened to him)

And I think that pretty much covers it? Idk how many people would be interested in hearing about his adventures, as idk how many on this side of my internet activities have played, but I might post a bit depending on how things go. I am expecting a wildly chaotic neutral sequence of events skdskdsl

[mango-fizz]

16 and 22 with, Shiver of course :)

why did u give me the hardest questions djfhsjfbsjrhwnfbsb ok for 22 shiver's lowest point is whatever the fuck happened here

second for number 16 i dont know if i have any childhood hcs ? honestly? i think theres some backstory stuff but idk how much is canon and how much is fanon, but one hc i do have is that shiver's tentacles were longer when they were younger and they cut them. i think thats it sjfhsjdhsbd i did write this one vent fic a while ago ahaha i guess it could count as a hc ! (???)

"Hey, Shiv!" Frye hoists herself up and sits cross-legged on the windowsill. 

Shiver is at her desk sobbing into her hands.

Frye frowns. "You good?"

Shiver looks up at her through her tentacles, face scrunched up and streaked with tears. She starts crying again at Frye's expression and buries her face in her arms. 

Frye furrows her eyebrows. She lowers herself from Shiver's window and approaches the desk. The paper closest to her is marked with a big red 96%. Frye recognizes it as the essay assignment from last week.

She spots another one, this one marked 82%. Another, 91%. Lastly, the paper in front of Shiver is half-written, somewhere along the first body paragraph, but it's hard to tell with them sobbing all over it.

"It's awful," they blubber. 

"But all of these are good, though."

"No, they're not! I've never written a worse essay in my life."

Frye briefly skims the papers. "Looks pretty good to me. You got good grades on all of these."

Shiver pulls at their tentacles, "No. I hate it, I hate writing essays so much. I knew I would be struggling with this class but I didn't think it'd be like this." They press their forehead against the surface of the desk. "It didn't used to be this difficult. I didn't used to struggle like this. I was always just… good at everything."

Frye doesn't really know what to say to that. Luckily, she doesn't have to, because Shiver keeps going. She sits next to them patiently.

"I was good at everything, so I never had to try. And now I'm actually struggling, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to do this," Shiver gestures at the paper in front of her.

"A-and- and I feel terrible for thinking that way, y'know? I feel lazy. I feel so fucking disappointed in myself. I didn't used to be this lazy. But if I really was lazy, it wouldn't bother me this much, right?"

She wipes her eyes. "My mom wants me to take more difficult classes. Where they make me write more essays. And I hate writing essays more than anything. But she keeps saying I have so much potential, and that I can do it if I just try," her voice cracks. Frye hands her a tissue. She accepts it gratefully.

"She says I can do it if I just try, but I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the expectations. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm just waiting to disappoint someone. I just want to be average for once. We argue a lot about this, and that makes me feel worse."

"I don't think you necessarily have to be the best. It's okay to just be you," Frye smiles encouragingly and pats her arm.

Shiver sniffs. "Thanks." 

"It's also okay to not want to take harder classes. I mean, no one wants to, so I totally get you," she adds with a giggle. "Tons of people don't take em, and they turn out fine."

"But I'm not just anybody, Frye. I'm-- I'm perfect--"

"Nuh uh! None of that!" She grabs Shiver by the shoulders. "You'll be fine. You don't wanna take hard classes? That's fine! You don't wanna write essays? That's fine too! I don't either! So please don't be too hard on yourself. You're only looking out for your health, I promise you're not disappointing anyone. We'll figure it out, okay?"

Shiver nods.

"Speaking of which, we're gonna be the freshest new band in the Splatlands, so who cares what your mom says!? You don't need essays to be cool!" Frye pumps her fists in the air. Shiver smiles slightly.

"Thanks, Frye. I appreciate it, really." 

Frye smiles back. "That's what friends are for, right? Now c'mon. Forget those papers and let's go practice our vocals." She gets up and rips one of the sheets in half.

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

1 - drarry 🙃

thanks for the ask @indigo-scarf!

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: Ha, never. I don't ship Drarry at all.

my thoughts: Woof. Okay. There are many reasons I can't see this ship sailing. We'll start with Harry. I don't really care about his sexuality, or Draco's, for that matter, so I'll leave that aside for now. Harry needs to be with someone he respects and values, someone he's comfortable with, and someone he can be himself around. That leaves his closest friends. We know he sees Hermione as a sister and the two people he does show attraction to are Cho and Ginny, Quidditch players with pretty hair. Ginny makes the most sense for Harry, considering all he's gone through. Draco next. Draco, though he 'grows up' to not want to instill the same pureblood mania into his son, is a pureblood at heart. He still canonically marries a pureblood and the only romance we see is with Pansy, a fellow pureblood. Draco's not going to be slumming around with a half-blood or Muggleborn. In my mind, you'd have to do some gymnastics to get Draco willing to be with someone other than a pureblood. Now, that's not to say he can't be attracted to someone who isn't a pureblood. I could easily see Draco having a crush on any number of people, but at the end of the day he's a coward and makes the best decisions for himself and his family. That will not involve dating or being with anyone other than a pureblood, no matter what his 'growing up' ideals are. If we tried to put them together, it would have to be way later in life, Ginny would have to be out of the picture (and I don't like killing off or berating or bashing characters to make a ship sail), so it's just highly unlikely, if not impossible that this ship sail.

What makes me happy about them: I mean, it's classic enemies to lovers, but I'm not especially fond of that trope. It would probably explain why Jily makes me so apathetic.

What makes me sad about them: Nothing, lol. Harry and Draco are two different people.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: broadly speaking, if any characters have to be bashed for a ship to sail. I don't see or ship Drarry at all but if you've got to bash Ginny and the Weasleys to make it happen, I'm 100000% less interested.

things I look for in fanfic: not Drarry. If I'm reading a work with Harry and there's a romantic pairing, Hinny has to be endgame. I don't care as strongly about Romione, I can take or leave them together, but there are a few ships that I'm very set on as being endgame.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Draco & Astoria, Harry & Ginny. That's how it works in my mind.

My happily ever after for them: LOL okay so I do like the idea of them being in-laws, but I love the idea of Ron and Draco as inlaws more than Harry and Draco.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: They're spoons that stay far away from each other.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Glaring at each other and later, pretending they don't exist.

asks about ships and characters

[gritsandbrits]

001 Loonatics Unleashed

Favorite character: I love Rev and Tech they seemed to be the only characters alongside Danger to have any actual personality

Least favorite: Mastermind she had a design that was bland and doing too much at the same time plus she was a racist white woman so fuck her

5 favorite ships: Rev x Tech, Duck x Lexi, Ace x Mikayla (my oc), Black Velvet x Massive (don't ask why), Weathervane x Rip Runner (OKAY HERE ME OUT)

Character i find most attractive: Tech 💚

Character i would marry: Tech 💚

Character i would be best friends with: Lexi

A random thought: Zadavia's color should've been blue or white since those were absent

Unpopular opinion: Danger Duck was literally more likable than some of the characters who were "intended to be likable"

Canon OTP: *imagining myself editing MikAce in official scenes* nvrmind the closest we'll get is TechRev

Non canon otp: here's how YOU can help me make Duck x Lexi canon...

Most badass character: Rev, Sylth Vester

Most epic villain: Massive, Sypher, Black Velvet

Pairing i am not a fan of: AceLexi for a variety of reasons mainly it's the generic "male lead x female lead" cliche, plus they're literally just Bugs and Lola repackaged, and they're too alike it hurts (the romantic tease often comes pretty forced at times)

Character I feel the writers screwed up at times: EVERYONE but especially Pinkster

Favorite friendship: Tech and Ace!

Character i identify with: Danger duck 😜

Character i want to be: Weathervane

[oldfangirl81]

Okay, I saw this post a while ago about why do fic writers make the Buckley Parents be truly horrible people. Most often this shows up in writing them as racist, homophobic and physically abusive jackasses. Given I have a fic where I am making them truly horrible people this has been kicking around in my brain.

So beware my deep thoughts on this...

Okay, so first off I have some personal experiences that color my views. Some parental grandparents stuff I'm still working through. So I'm always going to lean towards found family if canon bio parents suck. So I'm already not inclined to write redemption/forgiveness towards shitty parents who haven't made an effort at change or did it for all the wrong reasons so it is temporary. (oh no my neighbors think I'm bad for not knowing what is happening in my adult child/grandchild lives I must pretend for a while.)

But generally speaking it can be hard to accept that basically okay humans make some very selfish choices that cause harm. It is easier to accept if we only highlight the bad in them. Or we use things our personal beliefs say are characteristics that only bad people have.

We know if we are writing any "realism" eventually Eddie & Buck are going to face homophobia. Yes, even in California. Southern California tends to vote more conservative but northern California has its jackasses too. I was called slurs when protesting Prop 8 by a minivan family. Now I'm lucky and the important people in my life didn't get flustered by me coming out as bi. But that is not always the case. Writing can definitely be a way to process that. Be it an actual experience or just the fear of coming out. So that can be a factor in people writing the Buckley Parents as homophobic jerks.

And often in reality if you find a homophobic/racist jerk then you've also found an ableist jerk. Now again my own personal experience with my grandparents ableism is clouding my judgement. They did and said horrible things when I was a kid. It is believable to me that the Buckleys might not be the greatest with Chris.

Now my grandparents also lost a child. Not as young as Daniel but it was before I was born. It was tragic and unexpected. But they never wanted/allowed my father to grieve beyond what they felt was appropriate. They had a distaste for therapy. It was for OTHER people, the ones with real problems. So I can see the Buckley Parents saying and doing shitty things around Postpartum and PTSD issues because I've known people whose own losses just made them jerks, even to those closest to them.

I also think a lot of us are just tired of shows pushing redemption arcs for shitty parents solely based on the fact they are the DNA donors. I've stopped watching shows when they lean too heavily on that for me. SWAT comes to mind as a more recentish one I stopped because of that. We want the characters to be validated that they don't have to accept shitty people in their life. Be it the mother who fakes her death to work with the CIA or the father who abandoned his family for another or the father who constantly kept his kids traveling to train to kill monsters or the parents who created a child solely to save their other child then never told him while treating him different his whole life. We want these characters to eventually get closure/revenge/peace that leads to love and happiness. Because maybe we know we'll never get that in reality or not as satisfyingly. (The closure/revenge part, hopefully we all find the love, happiness and peace part.) So writing the Buckleys getting verbally sliced up by Eddie is satisfying.

So I think there are a lot of complex reasons to write the Buckleys as extra shitty. But also it is easy to build an antagonist off a slightly established character.

Or maybe I just need therapy and I'm overthinking.