#that's true for everyone actually. i mean. not lesbian but gay in general. i am probably not making sense rn-

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

i think it's nice how tengoku's the first game but also still manages to be v good. the second best rhythm heaven. i mean the second best rhythm heaven is fan club 2 but i mean you know what i mean-

[theaudiofiend]

Writeblr Introduction

Hello everyone! This is a bit of a different Writerblr introduction. I wanted to join this wonderful community and chronicle some of my writing projects that I plan to one day turn into an audio roleplay series, maybe even a book, who knows. I'm a Voice Actor and you can call me Fiend. I very much enjoy creating supernatural worlds and am inspired by podcasts like Welcome To Nightvale and The Magnus Archives.

About The Writer

Bisexual with nonbinary tendencies

He/They Pronouns

Three and a half cats in a trenchcoat, actually

I enjoy puzzles and tactical games

I'm Autistic (creating magic systems is one of my special interests, actually)

A world history and mythology nerd

Lover of videogames (RPGs, horror, souls-like)

I could talk for hours about Dark Souls. Days and months even, if you ask me about Bloodborne. Tread carefully.

I enjoy writing about supernatural mysteries, mythology, gay monsters, GNC characters, philosophy, unique magic systems, character-driven narratives and also building complex worlds.

About The Projects

I have created a multilayered Universe for my projects, in which I write different character-driven narratives that affect a world consumed by mystery and the supernatural. These are meant to be interactive stories, so each character interacts with the listener and will be voiced by me in my upcoming audio series!

Beast Beneath The Moonlight: A story about Gabriel, an idealistic intern at a hospital whose life goal is to save as many people as he can. He is turned into a werewolf and is then forced to confront his inner beast, contemplate mortality and understand the true meaning of strength.

Written in Blood: Killian, a very old vampire from a bygone era, struggling to cope with the death of his lover centuries before, trying his best to live his remaining days in peace until his very bloody past starts to catch up to him.

Fiends With Benefits: Levi, a half-demon caught between the Mortal and Supernatural world, expected to be the best by both worlds while not being accepted by either. He lives under his predecessor's shadow until a plot that could unravel Fiend Society is brought to light.

There will be more stories within this world, so stay tuned.

General Aesthetics and Tropes

Urban Fantasy, Hidden World, Supernatural Creatures Are Among Us & They Are Incredibly Hot, Magic is Real, Angst, LGBT+ themes, Bi Vampires, Dark Romance, Sexual Themes, Monsterfucking, Understanding the Nature of Humanity despite not being Human, The Struggle between Logic and Emotion, Found Family, Actually Horrifying Vampires as Well as Stupidly Sexy Vampires, Lesbian Victorian Ghosts, Werewolves but Not Always Wolves. Wait, there's more... Fate Doesn't Exist, God Isn't Real but The Devil Is, Interconnected World where Magic and the Mundane meet, Cosmic Horror, Religious Horror, Body Horror, Death and What Comes After, Interpersonal Drama, Introspection, Tarot-based Characters, Slight Anime Vibes (Gasp), Paranormal Mystery, Hidden Worlds within the Hidden Worlds, Mythology is Real, Man is the real Monster, Dark is Not Always Evil and Light is Not Always Good.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Hot Take On BNHA Chapter 394: I've Seen Gayer

Okay, so I'm seeing everyone go on and on about this Togachako stuff, and hey that's cool, ship who you want you guys. Definitely hype up what you want and say it's your favorite gay ship, it's valid! Your ship is valid.

Hell, I keep hearing people say it's the "gayest thing ever".

I'm just here to share my opinion, because I'm thinking, nah, I've seen gayer.

Now for my critical take on the writing aspect of it all. This chapter was so spur of the moment it's honestly hard for my personally to feel anything for it. I don't buy for a second that there's anything that deep into this mess of a relationship between Ochako and Toga. I'm actually kinda proud that Ochako showed genuine sympathy and compassion for Toga... but what did that cost?

The rest of her sympathy and compassion for the people Toga hurt, and killed and impacted for the rest of their lives.

Why are people forgetting that?

I'm a Toga fan, I feel bad for her, she's a tragic villain and that's why I love her as a villain! She's an excellent villain with troubling motivations that would make her dangerous in real life, and watching her on screen is a delight.

But as someone who enjoys her villainous antics, I've made it a point to notforget that she's killed quite a few, some innocent people and just people in general who didn't really deserve it, Curious and her Squad is debatable but still comes into question. Even though Ochako says she isn't going to forget either, here she is, telling her that she's got the cutest smile?

That's kinda bullshit?

Or am I crazy?

This very disturbed girl who has shown NO remorse for attacking people, killing them and drinking their blood without any of their consent, has "the cutest smile"? Okay, I know there are fans who like the unhinged x cinnamon roll ship, but this is ridiculous.

I don't know. I guess there was no other way Hori could have written the end to this weak-as-hell Ochako and Toga final endgame conflict. I mean if it were me I would have tried something a little different that includes NOT... this. Not telling the girl who murdered people with no true remorse that her smile is cute. Especially since this is the same girl who attacked and hurt some of her friends.

To make matters worse, Hori strikes again with his 'crying child' imagery to invoke easy sympathy from readers and it's clearly working since everyone and their grandma is sobbing over it while forgetting that Toga is a murderer and Ochako now suddenly feels sorry for her despite how many people she's killed.

Whatever. I don't like it.

And just for emphasis, I've seen gayer. I greatly prefer Momojirou, an actually healthy lesbian pairing. And Tsuchako! A sweet friendship that is both healthy and heartwarming, because even though I'm not an Ochako fan at all, she deserves better than what she's getting in this story.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I've been thinking of how queer-coded Eddie (from 9-1-1) is, and the way his cardiologist (a heart doctor, how symbolic!) suggested Eddie might be repressed and...

Skip this post if the concept of repressed sexuality is uninteresting to you, this is mostly me talking about myself, to spread some knowledge about repression.

Anyway. Since anyone who has read any of my posts already knows I'm unhinged beyond comprehension, there is no reputation to lose here...

I just realized that I keep saying that I think Eddie is repressed and bi, and it just hit me that maybe people don't know what I mean by that? Maybe people don't know all faces of what repressed bisexuality can look like? It's not talked about a lot, I think.

So fic writers of the world, or whoever likes to learn, let me share my personal flavor of insanity - what my repressed bisexuality has looked like at different times!

Ah yes, first stage was Buck. Outrageous, oblivious flirting with anyone pretty... Without any clue that I was in fact flirting with everyone, including other women (I'm a woman). I just thought I was joking, teasing... Until it got just a bit too intense, and I finally went "Wtf. I'm flirting now. Like seriously, to get their attention! This isn't straight. What am I doing?"

And I was definitely nowhere near ready to get out of the closet or act on these instincts, so hey, we enter stage...

2. Repressed - and aware of it. Yes, may sound bizarre. To make things even more bizarre, when I say I started to repress my behavior... I don't mean just around women!!

By that time I had a lovely, open-minded friend group, I'd always been into queer rights etc. So I definitely felt like this wasn't really anything I should hide, or be ashamed of...

But I still grew up religious, and even though I left religion behind quite early in my teens? My family didn't.

So I wanted to come out. And was scared to come out.

And somehow... The longer I stayed silent, the more the mask of conformity started to suffocate. It disturbed me, to have people think I was 100% straight.

I started to feel like I was betraying my people, other bisexuals and queers in general, by conforming, and slipping notice under the cover of heteronormativity.

I thought, why should I talk about the men I like... if I can't also talk about the women I like. It just means I'm shoving myself deeper inside the closet!

So my logical solution to this problem...

Was just stop talking. Of anyone! I became this sexless creature, no flirting, no admiring comments, no dating, nothing. Even if someone made a comment about a random person on tv... I existed in a cage, not wanting to comment on anyone's attractiveness. Simply because it felt like betrayal to talk about some part of my identity if I could not talk about all of it.

So to summarize: while it's true that some bisexuals hide under the blanket of fake straightness, and some will actually also pretend to be fully gay or lesbian...

Some of us just attempt to disappear off the map completely, and show no interest to anyone at all.

That doesn't btw necessarily have anything to do with our fantasy life - that may still be rampant. Or equally repressed in some way or another!

And we may also act differently around different people. But not necessarily. It can feel awkward or scary or "unimportant" to come out even to fellow queer friends.

The point is... There are many kinds of masks. Repression is a freaking chameleon. Everyone does it differently, even the same person can do it differently with different people, at different stages of life.

And btw, unbecoming this self-made onion of a person can be annoyingly slow and difficult. Personally I'm still not done untangling the mess I am. But maybe getting there!

[digitalcockroach]

Hang on hang on your tags on "reverse queerbaiting" are excellent, please if you have the energy go into more detail on them doing "fanfic" romance tropes vs true romance tropes bc I think that's Exactly what I haven't been able to put into words

for context: POST: “I feel like we're almost in an era of like, reverse queerbaiting. Used to be that you'd be tricked into watching a show because the story implied there'd be gay rep, but now they're using gay rep to trick you into thinking there'll be a story.” TAGS: #tbh :/ #all the gay shows are pandering to like not even regular romance tropes but FANFIC tropes #and it's hollow af

Ok let me see if I can get my thoughts into some kind of order on this lol 

I mean to use the most egregious offender as an example, let’s talk about Good Omens s2. Like we come from s1 and the book which operate on a huge scale of time and across the globe with world ending stakes, even when it’s focused on Tadfield or London. There is a whole cast of characters outside of Aziraphael and Crowly with their own motives and agendas that intersect with each other and you can imagine existing before and after the story being told. Then we enter s2 and they’re all gone. God is gone. It’s Aziraphael and Crowley, Gabriel (and Beelzebub), and their neighbors who exist purely to be a Functional Couple oppose A+Cs dysfunctionality. This is kind of the first sin of fanfiction in this case, the world gets smaller and shallower and so do the characters within it. It’s all just feels like props and dressing to get two characters together. The whole Gabe and Beelzebub thing? The only reason I didn’t “see it coming” is because I thought there was no way they would just rip straight from the crackships of AO3 because I have READ THAT PLOT BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS TWENTY TIMES JUST LIKE THIS. 

Gomens s2 and also the other big recent Gay Shows, Our Flag Means Death and What We Do In The Shadows, really fuckin abuse fanfic tropes to death in more specific ways too though like - a sassy lesbian couple to set the oblivious gays straight, a will-they-wont-they with completely forgone conclusion, everyone is a shy sensitive guy even when they’re ruthless killers everyone is kind of stupid and woobie and seconds from crying all over their soft little love interest, everyone talking in this self actualized therapy speak - SO much very direct TELLING and the SHOWING is just eyecandy, fanservice. The second sin the formulaic predictability and the third is prioritizing fanservice/shipping over storytelling. 

Because that’s the main thing I think? These shows - which I wanna be clear I liked at least at some point but have gotten really disappointed by as they continue - feel like they don’t have a story to tell. They’re just vehicles to get a Gay Couple together, regardless of character consistency or the way more interesting things implied going on in the world around them, and they just shed more and more detail and quality and idk variety? as the main ship’s relationship progresses and the world narrows further and further. It becomes boring, one-note. 

And to cover my bases here I don’t want to be misconstrued as believing these things can’t be or aren’t also true of straight romance shows (or movies, books, whatever) because I think we’ve all seen plenty of Boring Straight Romance, and I am being somewhat generalizing for the sake of what brevity I can accomplish here. But I think the noticeable thing with specifically these new queer romance shows is that they are being aimed at and HEAVILY pandering to yknow 18 - 30 year old chronically online fandom queers because people like Niel Gaiman and Taika Waititi and whathaveyou have witnessed first hand (and made a lot of money from) the absolute frenzy this AO3 donating demographic with go into over this exact kind of content. 

In short, people figured out you can make more money off of really dedicated weirdos with bad taste than you can writing something with depth and substance.

Not everything can be as good as Homestuck I guess!

[meirimerens]

hiii first of all I'd like to thank you for all the amazing art you put out there <3. Secondly and sorry if this comes off weird but I'd like to thank you for writing ATA in general, and specifically one line that meant a lot to me when I read it, from chapter 11:

'because he wasn’t interested in giving life—simply, now, in protecting it'

As a late bloomer queer this line really resonated with me and coincided and helped with finally wresting myself of the societal conditioning regarding having biological kids as 'leaving a trace of yourself behind in the world', and Artemy's story in general and in the fic being in part about how there's so much more to family and love and community than that. The world needs nurturers the world needs protectors, there's so many Roles to Play!!!

(I don't know if that's the way it was intended so apologies in advance if I completely misinterpreted your intent OTL, that line was just so beautiful to me among many others. Sorry I'm not doing this on ao3 I have embarrassment issues)

hi darling Thank you... 🫶 and darling THANK YOU... i am so glad you Caught that... you read it exactly as i've written it... you've Gotten it... you GET it... it's gotten you...

i'll tell you i'll tell you now Many lines in ATA refer directly to my headcanon of Burakh as a gay man. like a homosexual not-into-women i've already mentioned it before having written ATA (i_do_it_so_you_dont_have_to.wav). i have Many points of data to make my case (not that i would need to, and also one of these points is I'm a homosexual and i'm all-powerful so i do what i want).

i personally am a relatively early bloomer for lesbian standards (came out at 14) so i didn't really have the time to grapple in grand ways about this + i've never wanted bio kids in my life & have never experienced Active Pressure from my parents (i am very much aware of Societal pressure but i think since i came out early i began at a young age to be like Well i'm not following the social expectations of [x] already so why would i now) But i'm seeing i see i read i witness in Burakh's story a deeply Homosexual experience that i write. that i love to write. that on god i think i need to write. because i am aware of it i am aware of the stories and plights of people who were not as lucky as me.

his whole whole thing is that he must find ways to be true to himself. he must wrestle with the expectations put on him, with the familial and cultural frameworks he is expected to work within (incl. for example aspity telling him he'll have children, which damn he does, but not biological). the fact that he ends up the protector of kids None Of Which are biologically his own to me is like. a gay thing. such a gay thing. for most gay people across millennia at this point, living true to yourself means that biological kids will be out of the question. it's one of the main weapons of religious homophobia: the belief that marriage is "between a man and a woman" is because it is supposed to result in procreation & kids as per the bible, and a gay couple that doesn't follow that framework (more often than not because they. well they can't) is seen as a fundamentally wrong, ungodly, etc. the social imperative of biological kids is perverse on everyone, especially women, but on homosexuals who quite often just Can't Do That Dude No Matter How Hard They Try (unless they jump through 1546 scientific/medical/whateverelse hoops) it is used as a weapon.

burakh's self-actualization as a homosexual man To Me exists in no small part because he becomes a protector of the next generation without having any biological ties to them besides All Being Of Mankind. (among many other things)

he is needed as a protector, he is needed as a nurturer, and he doesn't have to have any biological ties to them kids to do so. that's homosexual joy to me. that's homosexual self-actualization and freedom.

this is exactly what i have written into ATA, or what i have written ATA from (as a place of thought). It might not be exactly 100% what You read in it, but i think you've read enough, and you've read it true enough that it has resonated.

thank YOU... for reading this beast of a fic [and of a. response]. ATA was crazy to write. in good ways. in bad ways. in the best ways. THANK YOU... and carry on!

[indiemovies]

I want the scooby opinions !!!

Not having scooby = unforgivable for Me

THANK YOU i take this opportunity very seriously

ok firstly: i completely agree!!! i mean, they could EASILY have scooby be there and just not talk! but, also, like.....why shy away from the silliness, the cartoon-y nature of it all......if you are a cartoon!!! i know it's made for adults but i mean. i sincerely doubt a dog saying ruh roh every now and then would turn off the adult audience tuning in to watch THE NEW SCOOBY DOO SHOW! i am not a big fan of taking of shows made for children and making them into hard r, for adults stuff. that's just my personal opinion, but it never translates well, it alienates every possible audience, and it comes off as goofier than if they had just played it silly. i genuinely think the live action movies are the perfect example of how to age something up without making it unwatchable for kids, and, more importantly, not getting rid of the humor and hijinks that the show was built on!

i like the character redesigns for the velma show (although i think the animation style is a bit generic and i agree that shaggy's hair is too clean cut LOL) and for the most part i like the casting EXCEPT FOR shaggy and fred which is CRAZY bc sam and glenn are easily two of my favorite comedic actors working today... i just dont know how well they fit the roles? although i think it is very unfair to judge them before i hear them so this may be a total nonissue it was just the main thing that jumped out to me. i really wouldnt care too much but already hearing from people who saw the first ep and seem to not like velma's characterization it concerns me i wont lie. velma is NOT mean (and she wouldnt call the cops over something @ multi versus)!!! she is dorky and driven and definitely very snarky and maybe slightly arrogant but i dont know if she has such a hard edge. i hope the teaser is just poking fun at the audience response and wont be her actual characterization in the show. also slightly unrelated but i just scrolled through the entire velma twitter account and given that the gimmick is that she's the one posting it all i feel the need to say: it does not matter what year it is, velma would suck ass at social media. like if she had a twitter she would use it retweet scientific articles and post pictures of bugs!!!! that's all

and of course, the main event, lesbian velma. i do just want to say i know that most pieces of scooby media are standalones, so velma not being gay in her show does not invalidate her lesbianism in the new movie. however i think it is a huge missed opportunity to not have her be a lesbian in the show that is made for adults and can probably much more easily get away with that given that it is something that has been so heavily theorized about and wanted. that being said, i do have a sneaking suspicion she will be bi in the show (honestly just guttural instinct + tweet about her kissing PEOPLE, not just boys, in the show) which is great if true! but lesbian velma will always be something near and dear to my heart so it is the piece of canon i will probably always hold onto. but apparently she has a crush on FRED???? and is beefing with DAPHNE over it?????? that is just. so. ooc. for like everyone involved. and so mean to people who care about the daphne and velma dynamic? like i love a complicated female relationship, but a) that is just not them, and b)OVER A BOY? OVER FRED??? FRED JONES??????

enough velma hbo talk (though i feel so bad for being so negative, i despise hate trains before stuff even comes out so i will say i will definitely give it a chance and i like that they are doing something different with it and having some fun with the characters and premise!!) i have not seen trick or treat scooby doo YET but i really like the animation and the velma scenes<3333 so perfect

AND that is just everything off the top of my head MWAH LOVE YOU

[rabidmind101]

I didn’t really update the blog on this yet, but just a few days ago I came out to my close friends online as non-binary. and it feels pretty good. I have maybe one or two entries that mention how distant I’ve felt to womanhood and female companionship. women are just not relatable to me. I find more in common with basically everyone except cis women.

this was all built up over many many years. pre pubescent me would draw themselves as a tomboy-like figure. I didn’t dress masculine because I had no control over what I wore. but it’s like the version of myself in my head- the coolest and most ideal version of me, was sort of masculine or tomboyish. I imagined myself as a teenager and older being fairly feminine, though. and it’s true, I do quite enjoy dressing in a feminine way.

the part that I don’t care for is the whole act. I never realized before I came out how much I just silenced myself. it was hard to look at people sometimes, especially pretty girls my age because they were a burning reminder of what I will never have. feminine energy. the reason I can’t fit in to many female spaces. I got most everything else down. I love clothing, love makeup, keep up with trends to some degree, and generally enjoy lots of feminine things. but when it comes to practicality I find that most activities directed towards women are completely shallow. and it’s not their fault. I would probably blame big corporations for embracing malls, brunch restaurants, and boba tea shops as a common meeting place for young women. don’t get me wrong, I like doing all of those things. but my god, is this what we’ve limited ourselves to?!

men are so casual with hanging out. “hey bro come over and we’ll play fuck all video game for like five plus hours” and it’s just super chill. I mean I guess you can’t get as close to someone that way. but the way women interact with each other feels so forced. I really hope this doesn’t sound sexist at all. I think if the way women do things makes them happy, so be it! but ever since I entered high school I was hit with the realization that I was never meant for that.

so there’s definitely a social aspect. but what really pushed me to come out a couple days ago was kind of… sexual? you see, I have been a long time porn watcher. I discovered that I’m attracted to women through porn. unfortunate, but true. I’ve always felt like my sexuality was kinda masculine until I actually started having sex. then I was just trying to please him as much as possible so he wouldn’t be unhappy.

okay I’m getting off topic now. so about the porn. I usually have just watched female povs, regular amateur, and some production stuff when I was younger (bad taste). a few years back I began watching male povs. like, camera is strapped to the head and what not. this turned me on a lot. and I thought it was because I thought of being with a girl. but I was actually turned on by the thought of having a cock. I could not ignore this consistent desire to have a penis and put it to use. and I didn’t want to be a man at all, and I still don’t want that. I would like to be the state I am now, just like, with a peen.

and then I started watching blowjob videos, which was super hot to me. and oddly enough was at the time where I started giving those. and when I started enjoying sucking balls, I also enjoyed it in the videos as well. and my obsession grew deeper. harem videos of 2+ women at once. and this entire time I was very confused. but what confused me even more was when I started watching gay men. at first I felt guilty because it felt like the gender reversal of the creepy lesbian-obsessed straight guy. I just tried to ignore it.

so the other night, I was having fun with myself. I believe it was lesbian stuff that I was watching. I finished one time with a stimulator, then I decided I wanted more and went for some penetration. usually when I do this I have an internal fantasy about a person of my choice. in this case it happened to be L. not from fucking Death Note, it’s an abbreviation. anyways, L is a cis guy. I imagined him fucking me and was loving it. I was very much feeling the submissive, receiving side of it. after I finished a few times, my mind started to wander off. and I was confronted with how feminine this whole act was. maybe this was dysphoria??? suddenly I felt embarrassed and ashamed, so I stopped. I immediately started crying. saying to myself, “I hate being a woman, I hate this stupid fucking vagina” and what not. idk about y’all but I’ve never heard any cis women say shit like that. but these are thoughts I’ve already had an expressed in private. but that night it just came pouring out of me. it ate me up and I became angry. I wanted to handle my emotions the way men do, violently. I took a shower and pondered the entire time whether I was nonbinary. I admitted to myself that I couldn’t start accepting who I am until I open up to some trusted friends. and so that night I put out a statement on my alt accounts close friends story that I was personally identifying as nb. and I’m so happy I did it.

the next day I left the house with confidence. I dressed down a little. drop crotch pants, grungey button up shirt, and my docs. it’s not my best outfit but I felt cooler. and while I was dressed like that, and mentally in the space of acceptance, I found it so much easier to interact with people. I even smiled at this cute girl with pink glasses. she didn’t make eye contact with me lol, but it was more than I could ever do before. I just didn’t have the same confidence. whenever I would be so forcibly fem, I felt as if I was competing. now that I’ve accepted that this is who I am, I don’t feel the need to compete with, relate with, or have anything to do with women if I don’t want to. because it has been a struggle for me recently. I’m so tired of being the outcast.

I’ve wrote quite a lot today. some good, some bad. but in general right now, I’m feeling very good. this new found realization is getting me through a life long concern of mine. I have so many exciting things this week that I don’t want to jinx, so I’m just gonna end it here 🧿🪬

[leneemusing]

SEXUALITY AND GENDER IDENTITY THEMED PROMPTS FOR PRIDE

❝  i guess i always kinda knew?  it just wasn’t that important until i got older.  ❞

❝  it never mattered to me like,  what form people came in.  i love souls,  the body is just kinda like pretty packaging.  it’s nice but it’s not what’s important to me.  ❞

❝  oh yeah i did the whole ‘massive crush on my best friend’ thing.  wouldn’t recommend it.  ❞

❝  today my gender is kinda of ‘meeehh?’  ❞

❝  yeah of course i’m only into women,  have you seen them?  ❞

❝  i think i had a harder time accepting myself than my family ever did.  ❞

❝  i’m pretty sure everyone else knew i was gay before i ever realized it.   ❞

❝  i have a hard time talking about it,  even now—i’m not ashamed or anything like that.  i just,  don’t really know...how or what to say i guess.  ❞

❝  i think i’m ready to actually come out to them.  ❞

❝  i really want to tell them but i don’t wanna do it alone...could you help me with it?  ❞

❝  the ‘am i gay’ quizzes are a gateway drug.  ❞

❝  would you mind using [insert pronouns] for me now?  i’m trying to see how it feels.  ❞

❝  they’re right actually,  i’m gay and i do have an agenda to make everything gayer.  ❞

❝  ever since i told them i’m gay they keep pointing to every slightly attractive man and asking if he’s my type.  ❞

❝  me? no i don’t think i’m—i mean.  yeah sometimes i think about what it’d be like to kiss girls/guys but i’d never...come on,  everyone thinks about it a little bit right?  ❞

❝  at this point the closet is literally made of glass.  ❞

❝  actually,  i’m [insert identity].  ❞

❝  it’s all ‘i wish i was into women it’d be so much easier’ until you find out about the lesbian drama.  ❞

❝  i’m bisexual and confused.  not about being bi,  though.  just like...in general.  about life.  ❞

❝  i just need a nice bear to throw me around for a few hours,  i think it’d do more for me than therapy.  ❞

❝  i would trust any stone butch with my life.  ❞

❝  sappho would be so proud.  ❞

❝  i’m still figuring myself out.  i know i’m not straight,  that’s a start.  ❞

❝  i finally figured out my sexuality and then boom here comes a gender identity crisis.  ❞

❝  i’ve just...never really been interested in the whole sex thing.  ❞

❝  anyway,  if neither of us find our true loves in the next five to ten years,  wanna have a lavender marriage?  for the taxes.  ❞

❝   you wanna come to pride with me?  ❞

❝   this is my first pride actually,  i’m kinda nervous.  ❞

❝   well,  this seems as good a time as any to come out.  ❞

❝  no one can know about this—it’s just between us okay?  ❞

❝  i’d never tell anyone.  ❞

❝  you don’t owe anyone ‘coming out.’  it’s personal,  do things at your own pace.  only tell the people you want to.  ❞

❝  you’ve always made me feel safe so,  i just knew i could tell you about it.  ❞

❝  everyone’s hot and i’m a disaster who doesn’t know how to ask anyone out.  ❞

❝  i’m not sure i wanna fuck them or be them.  ❞

❝  i’m just experimenting i guess,  trying to figure out what i like.  ❞

❝  she said she didn’t see us working out but then she brought me a potted plant so i guess it’s still up in the air.  ❞

❝  i want to be one of those bold,  unapologetic people but i’m still just terrified.  ❞

❝  she’s so pretty i think i’m gonna die.  ❞

❝  oh,  no he’s got a great smile too.  i’m in deep this time.  ❞

❝  how did you know?   like for sure that you were into [gender]?  ❞

❝  do you mind if i ask you a question about being [identity]?  ❞

❝  thank you for trusting me with this.  ❞

❝  it’s okay,  take your time to put it into the right words.  i’m not going anywhere.  ❞

❝  wait,  you think i’m [identity]?  what makes you say that?  ❞

❝  i’m here,  i’m queer,  i wanna leave.  ❞

[bylerchoseme]

God is a God of a judgment and a holy God. It doesn’t matter what you think is cute or how willing you are to stretch the bounds of what a relationship should be. Homosexuality is a sin. He judges all and sees all and doesn’t care what you think about it. And facts don’t care about your feelings. And even if you take God out of the equation, it’s unnatural/biologically incoherent. Byler will never happen AND it is evil, no matter how cute it looks on the surface. And mike loves El, which he made clear when he said it 8 times. Have fun with your fanfiction though, I guess

Are you the same anon from earlier? It seems like it. I think you are actually. I am so delighted you decided to message me again because I have more things to say to you. Thanks for going out of your way to tell me everything wrong about Byler and same sex genders in general. You must be my biggest fan! :)

God is judging you right now and always for being a homophobic a*sshole. He is judging you for not letting same gender people love their own gender. He is judging you for sending hate messages. He is judging you for not loving everyone regardless of their sexuality. God is judging you for all of the things wrong with you. Do you really want to bring religion into this? Is that a clever and smart idea? Go for it. You’ll lose. I guarantee it. Homosexuality isn’t a sin for your information. Do you know what is a sin? Homophobia is a sin. Your hatred of Queer people is a sin. A sin is what you are. You’re the definition of sin. Take it as you will. I don’t think you’ll ever outgrow your immaturity and ignorance. You are what you preach. Take it however you want. You have serious issues. Maybe seek some help? Keep that in mind. You do need help. If you can’t help yourself, nobody can help you and absolutely no one. God loves everyone. He cares much less what you think. You’re entire paragraph is a lie.

What if I said being gay is the most natural thing in the world? What if I told you being gay is the most beautiful love in existence? What if I said being gay makes more sense than any straight relationship? What then? What will you do about it? I love gay people. I love all LGBTQ people. I am not a toxic hater such as yourself. I am not a miserable person like you. I don’t have the time and patience to judge people for who they love. Love is love. That’s a fact. If you’re not gay, good for you. If you’re not lesbian, good for you. If you’re not bisexual, good for you. If you don’t associate with the LGBTQ community, good for you. We don’t need you. We never have needed and never will need you. Go cry a river.

The more you convince yourself Byler won’t happen, chances are they will happen. Keep lying to yourself. You have two years to do that. Time will fly by in a blink and then you’ll cry and scream because Mike and Will became boyfriends and later husbands. 2024 won’t be a happy time for you. You obviously don’t know love. You can’t comprehend the meaning of true and real love. Mike can say he loves Eleven every second and even then he doesn’t love her. Mike is in love with Will. He loved him before he knew Eleven. He loved him while he was with Eleven. He will love Will after the inevitable M*leven break up. He will love Will when they’re together. Mike will love Will for all of eternity. He will love him in the afterlife. He will love him for a zillion lifetimes.

You’ll find out about Byler the hard way.

Here is Byler in love:

[hobgayblin]

Happy 4/4 I finally sat down and wrote my 2000 word essay on Jhin’s gay coding and why he’s a gay gay homosexual gay

I think tumblr is still weird with links so I’m going to post it under the cut and also link in the comments.

IMPORTANT NOTES: 1. I am insane I know this thank you mwah 2. This is mostly unedited because I am tired so if things sound weird I’m sorry gdfhfs 3. This is not meant for argument I don’t care if you think he’s another sexuality but I don’t want to hear it on my post about why he’s gay. I will block you ❤️

The (Probably Unintentional) Gay Coding of Khada Jhin

Since his release in 2016 Jhin as a character has hexed and bewitched me, a humble homosexual. Jhin is to date still one of the most interesting characters in League of Legends in all aspects: design, theme, lore, and character wise. One thing that has also caught my interest about him in all my insanity driven frantic delving into his character is the very subtle gay coding that exists in the writings about him. Very subtle meaning of course, easy to ignore and in some cases perhaps not even canon any more, (such as background information that was given about him on old official riot boards that have since been taken down). The coding still exists, however, and I’m going to unearth it like an archaeologist driven by some divine madness to tell everyone why this pixel man is gay.

To start off, it’s important to understand what gay coding is as well as why and how it’s used. Gay– or the more general Queer-- coding is a type of subtext in media used to imply a character is LGBT+ in nature without explicitly stating it1. Historically it’s been used in times where creators are legally unable to confirm such things, or cannot otherwise because of moral taboos against queer people. The same is still true now, especially for big game studios like Riot who don’t want to confirm their character’s being gay due to queer content being restricted in some countries internationally. However, this phenomenon cannot be blamed by that alone, as it is still largely due to homophobia in League’s NA servers, and Riot’s cowardice. This is especially true for not confirming characters as gay men as opposed to the several lesbians and bisexual women riot has confirmed, but that’s a topic I’ll get into later. Now to explain how the gay coding works it’s very simple: Use tropes commonly associated with gay people. To explain how some of these tropes are used, we’ll look into Jhin’s actual character, quotes, and backstory.

Immediately looking into the backbone of Jhin’s character we find the arts. He’s very theatrical, even working in the theater for quite a while in his youth, and obviously obsessed with creating art. While these aren’t exclusive to gay people by any means, these are both interests that are highly prevalent in gay communities and used to make characters in media read as obviously gay. Theater and the arts are also seen as more feminine, flamboyant, and campy in nature, which is also tied to gay men. Obviously Jhin isn’t interested in theater like a character from Glee, but he certainly fits into the role of “flamboyant performance artist5,” just more nuanced and evil. Again, obviously not every man interested in theater can be typecast as gay. The flamboyant nature and tone of most of his voice lines and speech mannerisms2,6 that go with his theater background, however, make it very gay. I don’t even have a semi-academic or succinct way to describe how the tone and wording choices for Jhin read as gay (without taking 10 pages to discuss every line). I, as a gay man, simply look through or listen to the words he says and think “okay [SLUR REDACTED]” we get it, you’re gay. Moving away from the association with theater and flamboyancy as obvious gay signaling, there are some other bits of Jhin’s character that read as gay as well.

On his release or near it, one of Jhin’s writers did an AMA (ask me anything) about him and his backstory. Tragically, the original boards were deleted, but a summary of some of the points was made by a reddit user4 on a discussion of his backstory. Before getting into it, it is important to note that technically none of what has been said in the forums/reddit threads is official canonical lore, or could be easily retconned in future stories, but I will be discussing it anyway because I think it’s important to the character. In the thread the fact that stands out the most to me is Jhin’s strained relationship with his father. Even going so far as to say “his father never accept[ed] him for who he was4.” Which of course is probably in reference to a young Jhin’s budding fascination with death, but is also the most explicit, slap to the face instance of gay coding in his character. The exact phrasing of his father “not accepting him for who he was” is a sentiment gay men, and other queer people, can frequently relate to and is usually used in media to tell that a character is gay. Again it has the plausible deniability of being about Jhin’s interests instead, and being on a social media board instead of written into canon, but it’s some of the only information we have regarding Jhin’s younger life/relationship with his family at this point in time. Going along with that also there is a point in the thread about Jhin’s father forcing him to learn his method of fighting with chi-daggers as opposed to letting him learn his own way (and then him rebelling by learning his own way anyway)4. This point isn’t directly related, but it’s not unusual for fathers to try to force their gay/seemingly gay sons into more “masculine” activities (such as fighting in this case) as if that will steer them away from being gay. Moving away from the bits of technically unconfirmed backstory (for now), there’s more to explore in his canonical interactions as well. 

Up to this point in my analysis most of Jhin’s coding can be interpreted as a general sort of queer coding. Everything mentioned could also be applicable to bisexual men or any other form of queer man as well, but Jhin has something extra that really pushes him into the category of specifically homosexual, in my eyes. In almost every instance of writing Jhin has been in, whether it be the Zed comic, or his short stories, or even his voice lines in the game itself, Jhin has shown explicit disinterest in women. The in-game voice lines are the most subtle of them for sure, and could probably be taken as misogyny instead of a nod to homosexuality. With how he comments on Miss Fortune “needing a wardrobe upgrade6” and Illaoi wearing “too much gold6” it doesn’t just read as him being rude, it invokes a couple other staples of gay tropes: 1. Being a catty bitch, and 2. Having an interest in and commenting on people’s fashion choices. This isn’t limited to the women either, he also comments on Tahm Kench’s fashion choices in two separate voice lines, so he clearly has at least a passing interest in fashion (gay). In the comic and his short story, however, his disinterest is much more explicit. He has, on multiple occasions, referred to women as looking “boring”-- In both the Zed comic2, when he is talking about a woman Zed has a crush on, and also his color story The Man With The Steel Cane3, when he is referring to a woman at an inn he’s staying at. Perhaps he is just talking about how boring conventionally attractive women look, but in a world where every single character is made to be beautiful and conventionally attractive I doubt there would be any women he doesn’t find boring. And also given his highly theatrical character, “boring” seems to be one of the worst things Jhin could find someone; how could he make art out of something boring, something devoid of inspiration? This also sticks out as disinterest in women due to the fact that it’s been said more than once, in what is technically two-thirds of the written stories for him. One could argue he is also not interested in men or any other gender either, and in fact the same message boards that gave us some of his backstory would agree with that. However, I am gay and I make the rules.

Much of this coding as well as a couple other things could potentially point towards Jhin being asexual, or even both gay and ace. Unfortunately I cannot find a good source, but I remember another AMA answer floating around of Jhin being called “gunsexual” when one of his writers was asked about his sexuality. Now, ignoring the minor homophobia of making a joke out of his sexuality, this can be interpreted in a couple ways. It can be interpreted as Jhin being asexual, and disinterested in anything aside from his gun, the source of his artistic expression. Or, it can be interpreted as dodging the question of sexuality because Riot cannot/doesn’t want to confirm characters (especially men) as being gay. I find it important to note that this, while a joke, does point to him being queer in some respect though, as I feel a joke would not be made to keep his sexuality vague were he just simply heterosexual. Going back to a previous point, I think Riot is dancing around Jhin being gay because they know announcing a champion, especially a popular champion, as gay will receive backlash. Looking again at characters they have officially announced as gay there are a number of lesbians (Neeko, Leona, Diana, Caitlyn, Vi possibly Nidalee), and bisexual women (Rell, Nami, arguably some in the lesbian category), but only one gay/queer man (Varus). This is because of a double whammy of homophobia and lesbophobia, wherein lesbians are more marketable to their huge userbase of cis heterosexual men due to prevalence of lesbian fetishization, and also gay men are reviled and would be seen as “ruining a character” due to the rampant homophobia of the same group. Which is to say, unfortunately I don’t think Jhin will ever exist as gay outside of just his subtle coding. That is a whole separate issue I could go on about at length, however that is not the topic of this essay.

Looking back at what has been discussed, it is incredibly clear to me personally that Jhin is a gay man. Possibly also an asexual man; though I personally feel that would be, in a canon sense specifically, a bad move for Riot to make him asexual. I do agree Jhin can be read as asexual and I appreciate ace Jhin headcanons from other fans, however, in the context of canon sexuality I think it would be sweeping all of his explicitly gay coding under the rug and label him as anything but gay. That, again, is another whole conversation to have in a place that is not this essay. Looking at Jhin’s backstory, his interests and mannerisms, his several accounts of disinterest in women, and other smaller details of his character, I feel it is fair to say this man is absolutely homosexual. He may be too busy with his art and murders to seek a relationship, but this man loves other men.

References: (version with links attached in comments)

1. “Queer coding”, Wikipedia, last modified on 28 March, 2022, 

2. Shafer, Odin. Zed, Issue #2 (other issues referenced as well), Marvel Worldwide Inc, 2019-2020.

3. Shafer, Odin. “The Man With The Steel Cane.” 

4. @la_goanna."Jhin's Family/ Backstory." Reddit, 2020, 

5. TV Tropes.  Performance Artist.(See also: All Gays Love Theater) 

6. League of Legends Fandom Wiki. Jhin/LoL/Audio. 

[tweekadeek]

Ok... I usually don't do this kind of post... But, OH MY GOD.

I am going to get my hair cut sometime this week. And I mean like, a MASC haircut. And I have been absolutely riveting and so... ecstatic about it that I've been barely able to hold it in...I've barely been able to even SLEEP I've been so excited... I'm equally as nervous but my excitement has kinda been overpowering it. Everytime I think of myself with the hair cut I'm getting, I get butterflies in my stomach and can't help but to almost laugh... One thing is though, my family doesn't realize the haircut I'm getting is a guys haircut. I found one I liked (which took like 3 weeks of shaking hands and anxiousness of too many overwhelming decisions and choices to choose from and backtracking when I did find one and scrolling for hours upon hours... heh. And that was before i got confirmation that I would even be TOOK To get the haircut) and blocked out the person's face in the photo so nobody will realize it's a guy... Yeah, And for some reason that worked? (Though I had my hair short short before, but it was still just a women's haircut, and not even a good one at that... And that was like idk, 3 years ago.) And I'm 99.9 percent sure as far as I know, everyone in my close family that I actually interact with, (and other relatives too more than likely but I only mostly care about where my close family stands) are... Uhm well, are phobics of pretty much ANYTHING to do with being Queer... especially trans it seems. At least to my general knowledge, and of plenty of conversations I've heard in the past, and remarks I've heard when there is a gay and or lesbian couple in a commercial once in a blue moon. Or in a movie we watch on movie night. So that, definitely sucks... (Except my younger sister though, considering we talk about that kind of stuff. But I haven't even told her the reasoning behind my specific haircut.) But basically, I just get really happy emotions and even overwhelmed and nervous thinking and knowing I will soon look somewhat to how I imagine myself soon. So, yeah... sorry about this Long Post, 😅 I just wanted to vent a little bit on here to let out some of my excitement that I can't express the true feelings behind to anyone irl. Have a good day/night. Thanks 💖

[nerdygaymormon]

uhhhh david have you gotten the liahona yet bc idk how to feel about an article i found in there yesterday. it was pretty comforting and basic, but did use ssa the whole time. BUT the youth one was pretty crappy, it used ssa to the max and gave no real hope, was pretty bland and annoying about oh itll be find just believe and jesus and get hatecrimed <3 i would like to hear your thoughts on it, its the first time ive seen any queer topics in church magazines

Thanks for bringing these to my attention.

"Same-sex attraction" (SSA) is the preferred term of Church leaders. They say it's a way of not making it your identity, that this isn't part of who I am but rather is something I'm dealing with. In other words, people "have" same-sex attraction, not that they "are" gay or lesbian or bi.

There have been a few leaks from behind-the-scenes where the apostles say they use "same-sex attraction" because it's the term that people like least. People like it less that same-gender attraction or gay/lesbian. SSA includes the word "sex" and I guess the idea is it gets people to think of sexual acts and feel queasy.

SSA is the term normally used in Church magazines because they follow the lead of the First Presidency and apostles.

There's 3 items in the Church magazines this month about queer people! That's a lot for one month.

————————————————————

The first is a bishop talking about how to understand and include LGBT people at church. After becoming bishop, 3 sets of parents contacted him distressed that their child is gay or transgender (I note that the parents used "gay." He also mentions contacting someone who 'identifies as gay").

His first recommendation is to follow the living apostles. (which explains why the bishop uses "SSA" even though everyone else around him used "gay"). It's a good idea for a local leader to find what the current leaders are saying because it's changed. He also says to read the Church's websites titled “Same-Sex Attraction” and “Transgender.” He provides two lovely quotes from those pages about diversity at church and being loving to people who are different.

His second recommendation is to not be afraid to talk to people who identify as gay, but instead try to have love for them and then let the Spirit guide you in what to say. We're just people, it shouldn't be scary to talk to us, that shows how different he thinks we are from the other people he interacts with in his ward.

The bishop's third suggestion is to speak to people who are familiar with LGBT "issues," share your testimony, and apologize for hurtful things you say. His list of people to contact for help understanding was a little disheartening because he starts with his stake leaders, ward leaders, other bishops, and so on, actual queer people were the last people on his list.

He continues by saying to pull aside members who are saying homophobic or transphobic things and give them some personal guidance, don't share private information that a member shares with the bishop, and just because someone has these "attractions" doesn't mean they're acting on them, and if they aren't "acting" on them then you can let them have a calling.

I have a few comments about the last few things. If no one corrects the homophobic/transphobic comments in public but instead privately suggests the person do better, every one who heard those comments thinks they stand unchallenged. The atmosphere created by the comments is unchanged. Especially if the bishop was present to hear those words, if they go uncontested then people think this is what is acceptable.

You'd think bishops know not to share private information a member shares with them. I've been around long enough to know that when a bishop is unsure what to do, he starts contacting his network (stake presidency, other bishops) asking for advice. Some bishops are discreet when doing this and others name the individuals.

While it seems basic, I recently had a counselor in a bishopric who didn't think gay people could get a temple recommend, that there's a zero-tolerance policy. That is an attitude that is outdated by a couple of decades, but it shows that people need to learn that simply existing as a gay or trans person doesn't automatically mean we are committing great sins.

I do find it interesting there appears to have been quite a few queer individuals in his ward, at least 4 or 5, and reading between the lines it seems they all stopped attending.

The bishop's heart is in the right place. I get he's following the Church leaders and that limits some of what he can do for queer people in his ward. I think his perspective primarily is of making the parents feel more welcome in the ward and not ostracized for having queer kids.

————————————————————

The second article in the Liahona is written by a person with same-sex attraction and his work to overcome the shame he felt.

It's a much better article than the one written by the bishop. This person shares about the shame they felt at having gay feelings and working with a therapist to overcome that shame. He shares 3 lessons that helped him with this process.

1) God and Jesus love and accept him as he is. This is a message that doesn't often get conveyed to queer members and it's important they know this.

2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ offers healing. At first he was wanting the Atonement to cure him of being gay, but instead it helped him be healed of the shame he felt. I hear so many members who think the Atonement can change us from gay to straight, and that's not true. I'm glad he made this distinction. Our Heavenly Parents don't view being gay or trans as something that needs to be cured. I wish that message was taught more openly in the Church.

3) Build deeper connections and show compassion. Loneliness and feeling like you don't belong at church are two of the most troubling aspects an LGBTQ+ person has to deal with if they are active in the LDS Church. Developing close friendships will help with that. Also, queer people tend to be more compassionate than the average person and I believe it's because of the experiences we had to deal with of living in a heteronormative world that isn't made for us.

He includes a few useful tips at the end on how to engage with queer people.

All in all, a much better story than the one written by the bishop. He shared part of how it feels to be a gay member of this church, the idea that he should be ashamed for who he is, that being gay isn’t a burden, that he doesn't fit in.

I appreciated he said this is part of his layers of identity and at the core of his identity is that we're children of heavenly parents. That's more nuanced than the apostles who reject being gay has anything to do with identity and our only identity should be a child of God.

————————————————————

The final story is from For the Strength of Youth. This piece seems like it's written by a queer person, but it's anonymous and given as general advice to show that people with same-sex attraction belong at church.

This article makes 3 main points. The first is that God loves you. That's true, although accompanying quotes to back up this principle aren't specifically about queer people.

The second point is "you belong." All sorts of people attend church, and God is no respecter of persons. Then they have a quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton that people with same-sex attraction are welcome to come to church. To me, he's an odd choice to give this message as he led the Church's fight in California on Prop 8 to make gay marriage illegal again. Words aren't enough. Saying I'm welcome is not the same as making a welcoming climate.

The third point is that God will help you. They include a quote from Laura F. who experiences same-sex attraction. She writes about prayer, scripture study, temple and church attendance. However, she also says she doesn't know what her life will look like in 20 years, she seems to be leaving open the possibility her journey with God will lead her to romance and out of the church. I thought that was very honest and important.

————————————————————

I found it noteworthy that nowhere in these 3 articles does it say being alone and celibate is good and what God wants.

I appreciate the idea that we can make our local congregations less homophobic/transphobic. The suggestions from the bishops shows that the bar is pretty low and it doesn't take much to make an improvement from how things are now.

The voices of the two gay members was important, what they shared was useful but nuanced, didn't make commitments to staying in the church long-term or testify that what the church requires is what God wants for them.

Even so, it's clear the publisher is very careful. They use "same-sex attraction" so often, I think readers would be surprised the preferred term of most same-sex attracted people would be gay, bi or lesbian. While they addressed some things, like homophobic/transphobic comments, feeling shame & not fitting in, I think they largely skated past the things that make queer people decide that this church isn't for them.

There's a part of me that says I'm glad we're having this conversation in the Church magazines, but another part that says this is too sanitized and doesn't get at the heart of things. These are very hopeful messages that make it seem that queer people could easily choose to stay in church if a few adjustments were made and if they only understood God loves them, which avoids the "doctrine" that excludes queer people from the highest blessings and joys and makes us essentially second-class citizens in the kingdom of God, at least according to our church.

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

[klm-zoflorr]

Issues with the Tyzula ship that Tyzula shippers/fics typically avoid

Stereotypical Tyzula Ty Lee: “Azula-san, I completely forgive you for everything you ever did to me or my best friend and have always loved you unconditionally. I will help you become better if it means risking the quality of my life, my other relationships, my sanity, and even my life. I will magically be able to help you deal with your myriad of mental issues as if you always only needed love/affection instead of real medical help. I will always love you even if you don’t really change your behavior or worse, remain the same power hungry bitch you grew up to be. I love you ‘Zula.”

Look, I am not opposed to Tyzula for I actually think that they had a real friendship, even if there was a massive power imbalance, that got fucked up by Ozai’s abusive teachings and Azula trying to act as her sovereign and friend at the same time. But there is a tendency among Tyzula shippers/fics to make Ty Lee forgive Azula way too easily, make Azula not deal with her flaws or make (proper) amends to Ty Lee and Mai, retcon Azula into a soft baby who didn’t do anything wrong other than get abused, and/or gloss over the issues between the two.

For example, If Tyzula occurred pre-Boiling Rock like some fics imply, do you think it would have been consensual? Especially considering that there has been a massive power imbalance (Azula is Ty Lee’s Sovereign) since their childhood that Azula took advantage of even then; Azula forced Ty Lee to join her squad at firepoint; and Ty Lee is deathly scared of Azula? And if it happened post-Boiling Rock there is a massive power imbalance in favor of Ty Lee since the moment Azula “acts up” (it doesn’t have to be a big thing since Ty Lee is scarred shitless of Azula) Ty Lee can either call Zuko to jail her and/or have Aang de-bend her. There are some Tyzula fics that properly deal with, imo, the pre- and post-Boiling Rock power imbalances but most of them just gloss over them.  Not helping is the fact that comics imply that the two never had a real relationship at all and that Ty Lee is still deathly afraid of Azula, willing to chi-block Azula the moment she is anything other than docile. 

Also, how come most Tyzula shippers/fics don’t touch about LOK’s Turf Wars said about Sozin outlawing homosexuality and the implications it has for a lesbian/bisexual Azula? If Azula, who tries to be the model princess in a post-Sozin Fire Nation, can’t even realize that using fear is not a good way to maintain relationships, how would she deal with the fact that she has feelings for girls? Most of the Tyzula fics or headcanons I have read don’t seriously deal with the fact that either Azula is deep in the closet and/or suffering from serious internalized homophobia and would not likely express her sexual preferences in public unless she was in an extraordinary situation or got serious therapy plus years of self-reflection/character growth. Not to mention the fact she would be one of the leading perpetrators of homophobia by virtue of being Ozai’s right hand general/advisor.

So, do I have a valid point about how Tyzula shippers and fics often engage in abuse and/or toxic friendship/relationship apologism? Or I am just being too harsh on a group of shippers that have been vocally condemned by the greater ATLA community and most likely will never see their ship be canonized? And yes, some of my own fanfic works do contain Tyzula so feel free to call me out if I am being a hypocrite and holding people to standards that I can’t uphold.

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This was a very interesting submission, Anon, and I don't think you're "in the wrong" here, even if I don't necessarily agree with you. At least you're polite, so I won't swear at you xD I'll sum up your points for clarity's sake

"Tyzula shippers make Ty Lee dumber and ready to do anything for Azula. They write stories without depth and without adressing the imbalances in their relationship"

Here's my personnal opinion on that: this kind of drama/angst is hard to write, and I don't want to waste my time for 10 chapters while they're angstying over whether or not to love each other. Mental health issues are hard to write too, and I want azula to be happy, so I can just make them dissapear. I completely acknowledge it isn't the most realistic kind of writing, but I don't care, I just want to have fun. I wouldn't pretend it's canon either.

Now, some Azula fans are just biased towards her, and like to pretend her canon character did nothing wrong and is purely a victim and is owed Ty Lee's love. I'm not gonna shit on them, in the grand scheme of things it's quite inconsequencial, but I don't think that's accurate.

"Tyzula shippers make it happen even if Azula is still a "villain" and hasn't redeemed herself for her sins"

I can link this to my first point a little, and erase all moral complexity for the funzies while acknowledging it isn't canon. But there's also the fact in ATLA, Ty Lee has little to no redemption arc herself. She just betrays azula, and then the good guys accept her and mai with no problem? We could interpret that as "she was always supporting Aang's cause and hated azula secretly since forever" but I don't think that's very correct, because Ty Lee never shows any sign of it, never talks treason, never helps the good guys while azula isn't looking (unlike mai!). The only thing that could possibly make her betray Azula, in my point of view, is seeing her other best friend almost die to her hands. And even then, it isn't a moral choice. I firmly believe Ty Lee was just as indoctrinated in the Fire Nation's ways as everyone else there. And that she actually supported her nation and obeyed Azula as her commander not only because they were friends, not only because she had to, but because she was loyal to her nation. And the only reason I can see her go to the good guys' side at the end of atla was simply because of self preservation with a side of unbrainwashing from FN propaganda

So, in conclusion, I don't think Ty Lee is a completely good character, and I don't think she has a problem with Azula's crimes.

"There is a power imbalance"

I'm not going to deny that. But who told you all relationships with a power imbalance are inherently bad? They're more likely to be toxic, but they won't always be. If the person with the upper hand is respectuous and nice, everything works out perfectly. It's more of an advice towards people who don't have the upper hand in their unbalanced relationship, and who could get taken advantage of. But Ty Lee is smarter than she looks, and I believe she would know to stay away from that.

Pre-boilling rock, there is indeed problems with them getting together, but they're not due to one of them being toxic. Azula is Ty Lee's princess, and it isn't her fault. She was literally raised to lead. And Ty Lee was raised to follow. We see that despite that, Azula still considers Ty Lee as her friend and gets her in her team in a nice way. But it isn't her fault she was raised in the middle of a war and sees the will of the fire nation as more important than anything.

Additionally, I don't think Ty Lee hated Azula, for the reasons I mentionned before.

Post-boilling rock, I just don't think Ty Lee would be scared, or cruel enough, to jail or unbend Azula for no reason. Because, again, I don't think she hates her.

"The fire nation is homophobic"

As is usual with me, I loathe the comics and don't consider this as canon. It doesn't even make sense, apart from saying "fire nation's evil, they're homophobic now too" to be honest, if anyone's gonna be homophobic it's gonna be everyone, cause there was no gay representation in atla.

Oh, and f*ck this, I hate homophobia, I don't want my fictionnal worlds to have it too. It's dumb as shit and everyone is gay in the Fire Nation. There.

"So, do I have a valid point about how Tyzula shippers and fics often engage in abuse and/or toxic friendship/relationship apologism? Or I am just being too harsh on a group of shippers that have been vocally condemned by the greater ATLA community and most likely will never see their ship be canonized?"

You do have a valid point that some tyzula shippers have the same problem as some azula stans, as in that they put her on a pedestral and say she did nothing wrong. But some also just don't want to bother with that and just want to write fluff, and that's fine. There are way worse things they could be doing.

It is true that Tyzula is kind of a controversial ship, and for this reason I don't think you should care too much about it. Bullying people never help anyone, and criticising tyzula shippers will only push them back in their fandom spaces and make them unable to tell apart genuine, objective criticism and mean bullying.

I don't want Tyzula to be canon, btw. Well. For me canon kinda stopped at the end of atla, so everything is possible after this point lol. Not that I even care much about canon.

You are not an hypocrite for liking tyzula and criticizing it. You can call out the behavior of people in your own community, it's perfectly fine and should be encouraged. I'd pay more attention to your opinion too, because I know you don't just dislike the ship and want to find any reason for it to be "problematic"

I'm gonna put that submission in the Tyzula tag, if anyone in there feels offended by that do let me know. I don't intend to shit on this ship at all. Also, if anyone wants to add points or give me perspectives I didn't think about go ahead!

[whentherewerebicycles]

hey ummm im tipsy too because it's my flatmate's birthday and I'm literally a lesbian woman but sometimes I worry I might not be lesbian and it scares me because I'm scared of men but sometimes I think a man is attractive (like my flatmate) and idk why I'm msging you about that, sorry if it's weird. but you seem to have very valuable insights about life that not many others have (somehow?? idk?) and I respect and appreciate that.

oh it’s not weird! i think one thing i have learned is that it is 100% okay and healthy to hold your own sense of who you are lightly, and to not feel so attached to a particular label that you don’t allow yourself lots of space to grow and change as you have new experiences or meet new people who bring out different facets of yourself. to me the label of ‘lesbian’ is not an Essential and Immutable Truth about who i am (ie something that can never shift or change over time). instead, using that label speaks to a decision i’ve made about how i want to orient myself in the world, how i want others to perceive and interact with me, and where i choose to channel my energy & attention.

when i first came out i spent many, many years feeling like i had to justify and “prove” that i was “really” a lesbian and that i was ~~~pure~~~ of any flickers of attraction or interest in men (there’s a conversation about internalized biphobia to be had there, but we’ll save it!!). i have described this phase (which i think characterizes many young or newly out lgbtq people’s experiences) as “the push,” because for me it was basically like, to get myself emotionally, intellectually, and socially free of the rigid constraints of compulsory heterosexuality, i had to PUSH really, really hard, to get enough distance between myself and all of that stuff. i had to shove it as far away from me as possible to lessen the chance that it would suck me back in. that was a normal and necessary part of moving into a more openly queer identity, and for many women who identify as lesbian the “push” involves completely disavowing any past interest in men or relationships with men or emotional attachments to men.

the push isn’t a bad thing! like i said, i think it is quite necessary at first, especially since women are subject to even more of the “are you sure? i mean, you’re not really gay, right? maybe you just haven’t met the right guy / maybe it’s just a phase / maybe you just couldn’t get a guy to like you / maybe you’re just afraid of men so you’re pretending you like women” bullshit than gay men are. but it’s a phase that i think most people eventually are ready to move out of (well, unless you are on twitter, and then you just live in the wake of the push forever and ever i guess). and that’s because it can be quite an intense and anxious headspace to live in, as you often feel a lot of pressure to “figure yourself out” (ie pin down what exactly you are -- are you a “real” lesbian or not?), as well as a lot of pressure to prove to yourself as much as to other people that you are who you say you are, or whatever. so it’s stressful to live there, and it also requires you to draw a lot of really hard-and-fast lines (like, “this is what a REAL lesbian is, and i’m only REAL if i follow all of these rules or check off all of these boxes all the time, and if i slip up maybe i’m not actually a lesbian, and i’m lying to myself and everyone else”).

over time i’ve come to hold my own identity more lightly, and to demand less certainty and fewer fixed answers of myself (and of others, too!). the identity label i use doesn’t really matter all that much to me - what matters is 1) that i am able to arrange my life and relationships in a way that makes me happy, and 2) that others respect the choices i make (something that’s not always within our control). right now, “lesbian” is the word that i like best as a descriptor, but i also know that labels are very, very generic categories that almost have to be emptied of specificity and nuance in order to encompass a very wide range of people. to borrow & repurpose a phrase from the transfeminist theorist emi koyama: there are as many ways of being a lesbian as there are lesbians. lesbian is just a general catchall umbrella category for an incredibly diverse range of lived experiences, histories, self-understandings, sexual and romantic choices, life narratives, etc etc.

if lesbian is the word that works for you or feels like the closest approximation to how you want to identify & be perceived by others, then call yourself a lesbian! it is completely and totally fine to be a lesbian who sometimes finds men attractive, or who finds herself attracted to a specific male friend. there’s nothing wrong with that! personally, i am a lesbian who has had important emotional and physical relationships with men in the past, and it’s possible that in the future maybe i’ll meet someone who i really click with who happens to be a man. it’s not maybe something that i would go looking for, and if it did happen, it would certainly prompt some soul-searching, as does any new experience that surprises us or complicates the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we want. but holding my identity labels and my sense of self loosely means that i don’t have to feel as threatened by the possibility of changing desires or a shifting understanding of who i am & how i want to arrange my life.

my real true belief is that the vast majority of people are probably capable of forming deep emotional and physical attachments to any kind of person, if the circumstances were right and the person was the right person at the right time and we were open to the possibility of an attachment. i think that very few human traits or preferences are ‘hardwired’ into us in fixed and unchangeable ways. in general, most of our traits are influenced by a combination of nature and nurture, or genetics + experience. so like, idk, maybe some of us who are born cis women are slightly more predisposed than other people to find other women attractive. but nurture, lived experiences, environment, social and culture influences, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are all play a much, much more important role in determining how we make sense of that predisposition, and whether we come to use words like “lesbian” to identify ourselves. so the type of rigid, stridently defended boundaries or definitions we often feel the need to invoke & defend during the "push” are even less useful here, because how could a fixed set of black-and-white labels (which, btw, only emerged in the last 100-130 years) possibly encompass or account for the wonderful heterogeneity of human experience?

anyway i guess this is all a very long way of saying that i think your worry is completely understandable, and certainly something i spent many years of my own life feeling! but i also think it can be nice to hear from other queer women that there’s a place a little further beyond that, which is basically just this realization: i am who i am, and i accept myself as i am right now, while also understanding that “who i am” will continue to evolve & change my whole life long. you are a lesbian if you say you are a lesbian, and if you want to have a crush on your male flatmate or find a male celebrity attractive or even try pursuing something with a male partner, that’s okay: it doesn’t mean your lesbianism isn’t real, or that you are now going to be pulled back into a compulsory heterosexuality you worked hard to push yourself away from.

but it also doesn’t mean that lesbianism is where you have to stay forever, just because that’s where you’ve landed or what has felt right for you up until now. it’s completely okay, normal, and healthy to allow yourself that space to change. maybe you’ll move into a phase of your life where “bisexual” or “queer” or “pan” will feel like a closer approximation or a better shorthand for how you understand yourself & want others to understand you. or maybe you’ll come to find some other word that you like better, or maybe you’ll decide that you don’t even want or need a word to live your life the way you want. the point is that you aren’t fixed in place. you are free to explore and to experiment and to try out different ways of orienting yourself in the world. and you should do so, in ways that feel exciting and affirming and right for you.