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#thats it for now. have a fantastic day!
lasagoofs · 5 months
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rewatching to prepare for the new season
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shower-phantom-ideas · 10 months
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Yall imagine Danny getting help from Batman and tells him about how hes on the run (it was a joke in passing smh) and how he has no home (it was ment to be funny man) then all of a sudden Bruce way shows up on a totally casual stroll in his neighbourhood. “Oh look a child who is in need laaa dee daa let me help you poor random child who I have no idea who you are.” As if Danny is an idiot. He isnt fooled in the slightest. He knows when something is up. Batman clearly is using Bruce Wayne to help kids off the street.
Danny is staying at Wayne manner and notices how no one really talks about the bats. Or tif they do Bruce gets this look then quickly changes the subject. Hes putting so much effort into it too. And at first Danny hardly noticed. Now it’s obvious theres a connection. At first he thought Bruce Wayne hated batman with how often he refused to comment or gave his kids a glare when they mentioned the big bad bat. But now it’s clearly something else. Danny got a chance to talk to the commissioner alone and then it clicked. Danny had asked whats Mr.Waynes beef with Batman and the commissioner seemed so confused. Quickly telling Danny about how the two have worked together. How Bruce has even helped the bat with information or a distraction from time to time. Why would Danny think that he hated him???
And BAM Danny had it. Bruce Wayne is dating THE Batman!!! Holy shit it makes so much sense. Danny would often find batgear around the house. Bruce probably got targeted a bunch and thats probably how they met.
Now hes trying so hard to be supported of his clearly closeted father figure. He also gets why it’s not public info too. Paints a huge target on Bruce. Plus his many many kids. Must be hard for them. What a crazy life they live. Jason would probably be so jealous of their literal fairytale romance.
Danny tells Bruce that he is supported by him and that his secret is safe until hes ready to tell anyone else. Bruce niw thinking Danny knows hes batman shows up no mask and Danny goes nuts. “You can’t out yourself in danger to protect him bruce!!! You are just some himbo man!!! He wouldnt want this!!!” Thinking Bruce is going to try and fight in Batmans place.
Then Danny walks up and places a hand on bruces should (he has to reach lmao shorty). “I will go. I will keep everyone safe. You can count in me” transforms snd flys off to defeat the big bad. Leaving a fully stunned and confused bruce.
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feline-evil · 5 months
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"
#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall#y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these#rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything#BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes#'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and#acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something#managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show#''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was#set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol#OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting#around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes''#''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often'#''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc.#ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye#BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by#putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones#when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or#magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!!#ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like#'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i#the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!!#it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action#fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on..#ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally#defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just#opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of#points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its#bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol#Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully#agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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lesbiten · 11 months
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i will always be of the opinion that so many people (men) ended up not liking subnautica below zero purely because the mc is a woman who talks and has opinions on things
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skinnymeanfaggot · 1 year
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also
#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats#just me avoiding the problem. i just like. it feels fucked to be like hey i told you i was ok with what you did but i Changed my mind#i just think like. i have next to no contact with him and i feel fucking fantastic. we talk like every couple months on the rare occurrence#he can text and then i answer in vague short sentences and ghost. and now that i finally have firm boundaries with him and havent engaged#with him sexually its like. i feel like basically all my ties are cut. and i feel like im ready to let go for the first time. like ive#always felt like i just wasnt ready but now i like i Am ready its just a matter of like. doing it. thats difficult. even though i know hell#accept it because hes matured. and like. idk. i think its fine like this#and idk i think its fine like this. being the absolute barest form of acquaintances. i cannot stress how little we interact and how little#affect he has on my life at this point outside of what happened in the past. like i am in a good place he is 99% cut off i just need to do#the last bit. but like also fuck. you know. its hard to kinda finish it off. and its also like ooh it would hurt his feelings but now i#fucking. dont care lol. after everything. with blue i realize every day just how much more respected i feel and less gross and shitty#even with being jamies friend which we never were because whenever i was single we were sexual. i just felt bad. i never wanted to fuck#either. and he would say he loved me and id be like hahaha yeahhhh and now that ive finally drawn that boundary and said he cant do that#anymore i feel so much lighter and i just feel so happy and safe with blue in a way ive never felt with jamie and its like. im almost there#i feel like i might be able to cut him off by the end of the year. and thats crazy to me. i just also have a lot of like shit to unpack#in general too also. with what he did. and i just have a lot. but i feel like im progressing
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swampdrive · 1 year
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Specific gripe but hwrow capitalism really crushes art
#ive been getting back into doing adopt designs to cover costs this month and am going to have 2 do it regularly again#and there is a pretty specific niche of What People Will Buy and What I actually Have Time to Create i have to fall into and its just a bit#soul crushing. like I have so many Ideas for Stuff i want to draw but i know wont be marketable or wont sell well etc. which means i just#cant make it! i dont have time to be drawing whenever i want i have work so i have to foce myself to do it when i Really Dont Want to on#the weekends bc if i dont I wont be able to afford transit to my Real Job and its just ahdbfjdndj soul crushing#like ik i should be thankful people want to buy things from me and that i could probably cut down on drawing stuff to sell since i already#made the budget quota for this month but this is also going to be a continuous issue for the next few months for me and im worried i#wont make enough one month and have to start dipping into my main paycheck and thats just a not good trajectory to take#anyway i wish i could draw more weird little men and weird little robots instead of the easily platable fun outfits and very humanoid#android designs ive been doing. like ppl have told me they wld be interested in other stuff but the main bulk of my followers are NOT which#makes anything weird/out of my preset formula i make a risk for me right now :/#ANYWAY to anyone else who bothered to read this A. i hope youre having a fantastic day bud go drink some water and have a snack#and B. if ur an artist who dabbles in adopts and stuff like that jsyk there is a weird market for outfit designs rn?? from covos ive had#with buyers a lot of vtubers want outfits to have models made off of#weird market but ill take it!
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fable-x4 · 1 month
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Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.
1 note- I'll go drink water
10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself
50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.
100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt
500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!
1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans
2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.
5k - try to get therapy/psychologist
10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)
50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)
Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy
I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•
Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.
Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited
My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation
Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.
Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.
I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!
Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.
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jonquilyst · 1 year
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To the guy who got mad at me and said I should “lose my attitude” over a price discrepancy at work today, I hope you come to the realization that maybe the same should be said about yourself.
There was a misunderstanding. I didn’t know that $5.29 was the sale price and not the regular price. I thought the price was supposed to be lower since you asked about it being on sale. So I of course asked if you had a rewards card so we could try to sort this out, but then you got angry and escorted me to the price tag in question, where I realized what was going on and told you the price was correct.
Yes, I was a little firm with you, but that’s because I’m a human being, not a robot. You were raising your voice at me. If you’re gonna be mad to me, then don’t expect sunshine and rainbows in return. Not to mention on your way out you decided to shoot me down over said “attitude” when you could have moved on and kept your mouth shut. Sooo... Maybe you’re the one that needs to chill?
The item in question was a pint of ice cream, btw.
A guy got mad at me over a pint of ice cream.
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zwei-rhunen · 2 years
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-crawling thru the Thanalan deserts like a parched creature -
I've finally done it.. I've finished Hildibrand 2.0 (and leveled MCH to 50) ....
Now I can work on the rest of Heavensward (and try out BLU) 😋
#ik its optional kinda but i didnt want it to just SIT there in my journal yk? i like keeping quest logs clean lol#zwei writes#but also also MCH is kinda important bc the only other usable class i have for msq is warrior#and i really dont wanna be tanking lmao. so now i have smth i can run in msq dungeons/etc lol#i mean technically i have arcanist but i still dont feel like having 'arc 50' disappear from my character sheet lmfao#i think i have all the melee and physical ranged dps that i can do rn all done so thats kinda cool ngl#and after BLU ik ill probably go for black mage next... then paladin... then white mage or maybe AST#i want to do WHM more but im leaning towards AST just bc i think it starts right off at lvl 30 lmao#i also want to round blacksmith over the hump bc im like 10 levels away from 50 on that... and then get armorer up#AND THEN I CAN FINALLY GET RID OF THESE RANDOM INGOTS/WOOD FROM MY INV LMAO#like itll free up half a page of space and its gonna feel so goooood but DAMN that GRIND tho lmfao#ugh i have 8 diff foods in here too but i dont just wanna toss em bc idk itd be a waste yk? i remember going thru all the#effort collecting the ingredients and putting the thing on autocraft while leveling culinarian... like idk#i have a lil over 1000+ food items or 22ish days straight of 3% exp boosts looool#ill prob just end up selling half now that i rrally think abt it bc it really is taking up space#and my chocobo bags are filled with like. random event stuff/furnishings/misc lol#eventually after getting armorer to 50 ill unlock and work on goldsmith. not sure if ill unlock fishing#its either i leave it locked or get it to 50 with everything else. and i hear fishing takes alotta time sooo it might just be one#of the few things ill leave to do until after i get the full game lol#oh my god and then i can get an apartment and dump all my event furniture and all the reclaimed SPACE... fantastic!#speaking of quest logs i gotta get all the DOL/DOH to 50 too. idk why everythings gotta be 50 but it just feels right#i dont like dealing with a char with scattered stats everywhere ranging from the moon to the bottom of the ocean lol#its gotta be NEAT and ORDERLY otherwise its just gonna be annoying and nag the everloving shit out of me lmao#ill loosen up on the numbers after theyre all to at least 50 lol
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libraford · 7 months
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Can you teach me about compost bc I am too afraid to start and its making me feel really dumb and small
I'm gonna be real honest.
I'm doing it stupid.
I've been doing it for four years stupid and so far the results have been fantastic. I have so much nice dirt now!
I decent compost bin is just a box with no bottom that sits on top of your lawn. You want it to not have a bottom because you want to attract worms and isopods because they help with the decomposition by eating stuff. If your box has a bottom, worms can't get to it. Get a bottomless box.
Here's my bottomless box
Throw stuff in it.
The kind of stuff you throw in the bottomless box depends on your lifestyle. I drink a lot of coffee, we eat a lot of eggs, and last August I spent three days straight cutting the yard because the grass got too tall and someone called the cops on us so there was a huge pile of grass clippings in the middle of the yard.
So my compost is mostly coffee grounds, eggshells, and grass clippings. If my vegetables go bad in the fridge, they go in the compost. When the garden is done for the season I cut it all down and it goes in the compost.
I'm told you're not supposed to put processed things like bread or sugar in the compost. Also meat. You're not supposed to put meat in the compost.
And then every six months or so, you open up the compost box and see what kinds of dirt you got there and give it a good stir. If the dirt is looking good, you can use it in your garden. If there's still a lot of stuff thats not broken down yet, let it sit a month longer or so and see what's happening.
There's a possibility that I'm doing it wrong, but my raised beds are looking amazing and last year I got SO MANY BEANS
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tiredfox64 · 5 months
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I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A VISION FROM THE ELDER GODS!
You can see from miles away that Bi Han is touch starved as hellll, im talking STARVING.... so I honestly see that man just feeling turned on from simple kisses. Like, 1 min of kisses, BAM, ready to go! I feel like that intimacy may get him going, since thats a rare thing in his life
This isn't a request for a fic ( unless you want it to be 👀 ) but I am obsessed with Bi Han and I just realised this while drinking my coffee this morning
Just Some Kisses
Prior notes: I fuck with your vision! So I did something short cause how could I not work with that even though this was not originally a request.
Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader
Warnings ‼️: Suggestive hehe
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You were feeling extra lovey today. Just the sight of your boyfriend made you all giggly and your heart warm up like a cast iron on a hot Arizona day in July. Okay, maybe not that hot but you get the picture. Fresh baked cookies kind of warm. Yeah, that’s better.
You were practically skipping over to Bi-Han’s office where you strolled in all innocently. He didn’t look up but he knew it was you walking in. Usually you would sit next to him or anywhere else in his office when you came to spend time with him. Nope. Today was different. Your seat would be Bi-Han himself.
You came closer to Bi-Han and started straddling his lap. You caught him by surprise. This was the first time you ever did this. He’s not complaining surprisingly.
He was about to question you until he felt your lips on his face. All over his face actually. You were leaving kisses wherever you could as you held his face in a loving manner. His cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, even neck. You didn’t see it but Bi-Han was starting to blush. Awww he likes it.
He didn’t know what to do with his hand. No one has ever done this to him or given him this much attention. His hands were gripping the arms of his chair while you were kissing his neck. You heard him make a low growling noise that you took as a sign of delight. You were right but he was also struggling to contain himself.
When you started making out with him that was the hardest part for Bi-Han. Feeling your soft lips against his was pleasurable torture especially once you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Your hands were feeling him up. One hand was sliding down his chest while the other went to his hair, letting his hair down from its once tight bun. Damn! This felt too fantastic for him. Your fingers running through his hair was the final nail in the coffin. You felt his hands grab onto you and squeezed you gently. He let out a groan before tearing his face away from you.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked innocently.
Oh you sure did do something.
Bi-Han pushed you down on his lap more and you finally felt his hard on. How the heck did you miss his bulge?! You saw how embarrassed Bi-Han was. He was all hot and bothered, not very used to being kissed, touched, and loved this much. You didn’t even mean to get him started like this. The man was really struggling to hold himself back. He froze the arms of the chair trying to contain himself. But now that you know…ah fuck it!
With one arm he picked you up while the other arm swept his desk clean of anything. Every paper and writing utensil fell to the ground. He placed you on his desk, pressing himself against you. Now you’re the priority. The work can wait, he can’t. He’s all horned up and ready to go! Don’t make him wait any longer after you teased him like that.
You didn’t even mean it but okay, go off I guess.
Well, hope you have fun—oh my gosh
Oh damn is he gonna pay to fix your clothes?
Wow, i didn’t know you were that flexible!
I’ve never seen that position before WHEN DID HE LEARN THAT?!
You two are making a lot of noise…oh…he wants that…cool.
The desk is squeaking HAVE SOME MERCY!
Woah! Alright! That’s a lot that came out!
You uh…you need a tissue? Or some Bounty paper towels? A towel actually?
He definitely was touched starved, ohhh mighty.
After notes: You spat this vision out at me. I’m more of a tea vision kind of person but coffee visions work too.
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pedge-page · 2 months
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Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Smooches
Joel Miller x F!Reader
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Notes: written in honor of the fabulous and fantastic @romanarose birthday today!!! 🎂 I would not be writing Pedro fics if it were not for their fantastic stories that got me hooked so everyone PLEASE wish our lord and Savior the bestest birthdays of all!
- - - -
Joel knew pregnancy brain was out of wack when you started slamming the table with a fork and knife at 5pm like a senior citizen demanding dinner.
"I aint got anything you aren't gonna throw up later. We're going out," he states with hands planted on his hips.
"Ooh yay!" You wiggle out of your chair and grab your purse. "Jone's steakhouse?"
"If that's what you want."
"But you have to ALSO want it. Or it feels like you don't want it and makes me feel like I'm dragging--"
"JUST. get in the car, sweetie," he grits with a fake smile, opening the door.
-
Dinner was good. Steak was solid. You complained it wasn't salty enough even after you dumped the entire shaker onto each slice. But now that both your bellies are full and satisfied, with you rubbing your exceptionally swollen one happily, the drive home was finally peaceful.
Until you kept smacking your lips. The quiet air was filled with schmockschmockschmock sounds from your beautiful but ever so annoying mouth.
Joel clears his throat but keeps his eyes forward and mouth shut. Just gotta get you into bed and it's a sold evening.
He hears you digging in your purse, scavaging deeply for--
"Oh no. Nononononono!" You shriek, hands splitting the seam of the bag open to dump out all its contents on your lap.
"What, what's wrong?"
After clearly seeing all pockets were empty, you shout, "Oh my god noooo! Oh god please don't be happening."
"What you forget your phone? Wallet?" He asks worriedly.
Instead of just outright answering him (because thats just ridiculous) you start panting heavily and tearing up. "I cant live. I need it Joel."
"Need--need what baby? Just tell me, I'll make it right."
But you're too hysterical and hyperventilating  at his brain dead question to give him the answer.
Roll with the punches, Miller. Stay calm. Resolve.
"Okay it's OK probably just sitting on the ground at the restaurant. I'm turning around, okay baby? Please calm down, we're gonna get it back."
Joel explains to the host that you just saw 15 minutes ago that his wife (he gestures to his obviously pregnant and agitated , volcanic explosion of a meltdown wife who's having a panic attack) forgot something and would like to check the table again to find it.
The host rushes the two of you back to the table to avoid mount doom from exploding.
But after thoroughly searching for something that only YOU know what is missing, absolutely nothing comes up around the table that doesn't belong to said restaurant and table.
"What did you lose?" He finally asks hesitantly. It MIGHT help to know. "Phone? Wallet?"
You take a deep breath, eyes swollen and red, cheeks blown warm and shiny with tears as the world crashes around you at the devestating realization that its GONE gone:
"My LIP MOISTURIZER!"
You slug your shoulders and tilt your head back to wail in the middle of this albeit emptying restaurant while Joel and everyone pauses to quietly stares at you.
Joel's expression with an edge of disbelief and exhaustion.
He takes you by the hand as you still cry, thanks the host with a wave and gets your fat ass in the truck.
"We got more at home... right?"
"Joel!!" You snap. "If I HAD another one, I'D BE USING IT! I wasn't finished with the last one! Everything will be wrong if I open a new one when I still has the other one every day for 6 months!"
"You've had this one chapstick since I got you pregnant?"
"LIP. MOISTURIZER." You throw yourself back into the comfy seat. "You only like kissing me when it's moist and pleasant and NOW you won't like me--"
"Babe I never even knew you had stuff on--"
"WELL NOW YOU WILL because it won't be on and everything is RUINED! I have to over compensate for your dry peely nasty crunchy flaky dead lips, but now you won't love me and our baby because I won't have silky smooth moist plushy baby girl lips and then my husband won't have juicy sucker's to suck on when we make out and get his fat cock sucked by my once pillowy beautiful lush lippy lips...!" and then you start sobbing again.
He shakes his head. "Listen, how about I get you some more first thing tomorrow morning--"
"Tonight!"
"Right, tonight. That's what I said." He gulps hard. "And uh, you'll be... coming with me?"
You slowly turn your head and narrow your eyes. He does now see the clock is 8pm, sharply past your self imposed bed time.
"I meant you'll be coming with me... as I drop you off at the house. Then I'll go back out."
You nod as if saying 'that's more like it,' before folding your arms over your chest.
He squeezes his eyes shut and internally rolls them as hard as possible.
-
The closest 24/7 general store was 10 minutes thankfully. He grabbed a handful of different flavor chapsticks and dumps them on your lap--
"Joel what the FUCK are these."
"Chap--!"
"I WANTED LIP. MOISTURIZER! NIVEA! EOS! VASELINE! NOT THIS CHEAP SHIT."
He growls--not this shit again. He has flashbacks of the taco yackies incident roll through his mind. "YOU ASKED FOR CHAPSTICK! I GOT EXACTLY THAT!"
"Chapstick is a BRAND name. This stuff makes my lips burn and feels even drier. Joel do you SEE my lips!" You point both fingers directly at your mouth and purse out. "DRY. AS. FUCK. these are NOT dick sucking lips.  They will start fucking peeling soon.  and then I don't know if I will be able to kiss my own baby's noggin when she's first born less she be DISGUSTED--"
Hes back in the car before you were even done yelling.
Back at the store. Staring at the wall of different lip care options. This is 10x worse than the tampon and pad aisle. THAT one he's a pro in. Pussy King expert for all its needs. Even shows other women that come back exactly where and what they're looking for. But this shit??
There's so many flavors. Why does the flavor matter? Cherry red, cherry blossom, cherry berry--what the fuck is the difference? One says lip moisturizer, the same one next to it says lip care, then lip cream, lip balm, lip lush, lip lotion... fuck.
He does the sensible thing: pulls one of every single item into his arms, struggling but managing to hold haphazardly close to his chest (the man doesn't get a basket for shit because he only comes on for the exact ONE thing he knows he's getting). When he hobbles to the tired cashier, he leans forwards and dumps it all the counter with a sad smile. A smile of which drops quickly when the total comes to exceed $85.
-
9:14pm. Could be worse. You're eating a bag of extra salted chips--which he suspects is only going to make the lip situation worse but whatever. One by one, he basketball chucks them into your lap. You inspect each one, scoffing at all the useless flavor ones that just don't work, until finally holding up the vanilla honey extra moistening stick. You rip it from the package, pop the lid off and slather that shit on with a orgasmic groan, rolling your eyes back as it glides over and over your lips repeatedly. You smack them to spread evenly, all shiny and pretty before nodding approval.
Joel sighs and tosses himself on the couch, head first into your lap. You rub his hair and continue watching the TV, gnawing at the chips carefully so as not to ruin your fresh lips, as he falls asleep and snores deeply.
It lasts for a minute before both you and he feel something small against his temple stir in your belly.
He sits up like rocket, and the two of you stare at one another in shock. You both slowly look down at the belly, hands crept over its rounded expanse, and wait.
Then--an almost inperceivable yet delicate tiny kick. The first one.
Neither of you have words as excitement floods your faces.
"See. Even the BABY needs the best kissy lips."
He grabs your face with both hands and smashes his lips onto yours like he's gonna suck your soul away.
When he finally pulls off with a big grin (and you thrown back against the couch with a delirious expression getting oxygen back to your brain while your pussy drips fresh juices onto the couch), he smacks his lips tastily and enjoying the soft, silky, honey sweetness of your lips.
"Oh fuck, that is good."
You grip his shirt and force him back down to make out with you again, falling sideways on the couch as you both hungrily grope each others' bodies.
-
The next day you find your brand new lip moisturizer missing. It's set in the bathroom vanity, somewhere you did NOT left it. When popping it open, it has suspicious short little whisker hairs stuck to it. You frown but plant it back where you find it, run behind the door, and wait. About 2 minutes later, Joel comes in, searches behind him around the room before sneaking the little stick off the counter and hustling to the bed. He lies on his back, pops it open, and greedily smears it all over, humming contently and whispering "mmm yeaaaahhhh" before smacking his lips and pursing them out.
You fall over giggling in the bathroom at his new found guilty pleasure.
- - - -
Taglist
@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow
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adams-angels · 7 months
Note
hello! May I have a part 2 of Adam's revenge? It's really made my day btw —
Oooh a two parter? You bet! As I was writing I figured this would be the end but .... I think a part 3 might be called for :3c
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
Revenge 😈 pt 2
You can't believe it. No way. No fucking way. You pace your bedroom floor, hand pulling at your hair. You cheated. On your husband. He'll kill you. Right? I mean, he's the king of HELL and you betrayed him.
"and with YOU! Of all the fucking people in the heavens and hells I fucked you!" You turn to the bed where Adam lies, feeling proud of himself after multiple rounds. "What? You liked it." He smirked as he watched your eventual break down. You pick up his robe from the floor and shoved it into his arms. "You need to leave!" Quickly pulling him to his feet and pushing him towards the balcony. "Woah, woah! What's the rush, babe!" He sounded so smug right now. You hated it. You push in on to the balcony, he turns to face you just as you about to shut the doors. "What? No kiss goodbye?" He teased. "AUGH!" You slam the doors shut and close the curtains.
You can hear him laugh before hearing him shuffle on his robe and flying away. You rush to the bed pulling the sheets off that was covered with your combined fluids. But it wasn't enough, you could still smell him. You took the pillows and the duvet. Still the bed itself was tainted by his smell. "No, no, no..."
You found yourself standing outside, your whole bed burning in hellfire as you smoked a cigarette. Blowing out smoke and flicking the cigarette into the fire you sigh. "Never again."
You returned to the bedroom, opening the balcony doors and all the windows in the room to get "fresh" air. In your vendetta against the bed you didn't notice that Adams mask was still there on the floor. You didn't give it him and he didn't pick it up. Your heart fluttered as you picked it up. Your hand cupping the cheek of the mask wishing it would be his face. You scowled at yourself before dropping the mask in disgust. No way did you just think that. You picked the mask back up like it was a dirty sock and tried thinking what do with it. Hellfire wouldn't burn it. You don't think you can destroy it... You walk towards your wardrobe and hide it on the top shelf. Your short king would never. You hoped...
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
Extermination day came to an end, you'd have a week before Lucifer would come back. You spent that time cleaning the bedroom, avoiding the wardrobe all together. Ordered a new bed. Made your bedroom all pretty for you husbands return. The love of your after life. Your man. Adam. I MEAN LUCIFER!!!!! You start cleaning the bedroom again.
"so... Extermination day. I hope you didn't get into any bother, my dear." He took your hand, pulling your closer. You were surprised by the affection you were recieving. "Well.. it's the same as every year." You chuckled awkwardly. Why was he asking? Does he know? "I'm sorry I have to leave for so long. But don't worry. That changes today!" He dip kisses you. You pull away. "O-oh? Thats... That's fantastic! Yay!" It didn't feel fantastic. You should be happy your husband will be with you, the deadliest day of the year. But no.. you feel.. sad... That means you won't be able to see Adam.
Half way through scrubbing the floor you see feet. Looking up you see Lucifer smiling with his hands behind his back. "Hello, my darling." He smiled softly at you. How could you do this to him. "Lucifer! You're home early." His gives you his hand to help you up from the floor. "Yes, well.." you hesitate before taking his hand. "I have a suprise for you." You watch as you brings his hand from behind his back to reveal a little duck, that looks like you. Your heart shattered. Not that you let it show. "Oh, Lucifer, thank you. That's very sweet." You cradle the duck in your hands before giving you husband a peck on the lips.
"Uh, Lucifer... Do you think you could start calling me.... Babe?" You winced at your own question. "Uh, of course. Anything for you.. babe."
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kindestofkings · 11 months
Text
what came first, the chicken or the dickhead [2/3]
[smau]
f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)]
authors note: THANK YOU SOOO much for the love on part one guys I'm so overwhelemed 🥺 hope you guys enjoy this next part <33
yourusername 
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yourusername I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now
Why? Oh, 'cause she's about kick off her first season with ferrari xx
view all 580 comments 
landonorris shes in her reputation era 💅
yourusername i've trained you so well
ynfan1 I'm so excited to see you in that red car ❤️🔥
Racerbia I can't believe my bestie is a FERRARI DRIVER
yourusername I know can you believe it!! best of luck with your season this year <33
charles_leclerc I did not know you joining the team would result in me learning so many taylor swift lyrics
landonorris just you wait until she starts sending you fan theories.. yourusername charlie you'd get an A in taylor swift theory and lyric knowledge, dont fight it !! f1fan she calls him charlie they have to be dating!
ynfan1 charles_leclerc what's your favourite Tswift album?
charles_leclerc I think its Red charles_leclerc (TAYLOR'S VERSION THO) yourusername phew that was a close one
​​taylorswift never seen a getaway car driver look so good, knock em dead 🖤
yourusername omgomgomgomgomgomg mother, I mean miss Swift its an honour landonorris oh thats why shes inconsolably crying alex_albon is that what that scream was? ynfan2 shes been broken
scuderiaferrari
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scuderiaferrari red era vibes with our dynamic duo locking it down here in bahrain! our two drivers are ready for sunday 👊
view all 290 comments
ynfan1 the power of yourusername, converting the whole ferrari team into being swifties 😂
yourusername you know it! I'm a swiftie first, a media nightmare second and THEN a f1 driver
f1fan enough with the pop culture comparisons. what matters is the race, not taylor swift. Let the performance do the talking
ynfan2 how sad is your little life??
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yourusername 
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yourusername P3 babyyy, while your out here running your mouth still I'm busy getting on to that podium. Bahrin you were beautiful, thank you to the team and to charles for all the support this weekend, and just in general ❤️
congrats maxverstappen1 on opening the season with such a surprising (not) win! was a fun fight 😂
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maxverstappen1 think you going to be a reoccurring problem now!
yourusername it me hi! im the problem its me xx (liked by taylorswift and others)
ynfan1 I never expected the f1/taylor swift cross over but i love this
f1fan making the tifosi so proud  👊❤️
maxfewtrell fantastic drive, so proud!!!
yourusername maxi my boy <3
charles_leclerc posted to their story!
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-@carlossainz55 would never have done this to me 😞
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f1wagsupdates
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f1wagsupdates in the week coming to the monaco grand prix, it appears the two ferrari drivers are spending time together with leclerc's family! seems like a bit more than just teammate bonding 👀
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yncharlesshipper wow the family, must be serious
ynlando4ever please please please be besties
ynfan1 its getting hard to be delulu about this 😀
yourusername posted a photo to their story!
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Mwahahahah mama leclerc the women than you are
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charles_leclerc when did this exchange happen 😂 arthur_leclerc 😂 😂 😂 😂 landonorris troy bolten and justin beiber call they want hair tips x
yourusername
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yourusername MONACOOOO its race day and you best believe I'm bringing my A game in defensive racing. il predestinato will break his monaco curse if its the last thing I do 😤
charles_leclerc starting p1 go slay this thing bestie!!
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charles_leclerc the best 👊
scuderiaferrari teamwork makes the dream work 🔥
f1fan gasly could NEVER with the teamwork
ynfan1 ouch that bestie has gotta hurt 😬
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc best. day. ever.
winning in red and winning at home has always been the dream, thank you thank you everyone for the support in getting here! special thanks to yourusername for the incredibly defense and helping reach my dream 🫶
this one's for you, monaco!
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scuderiaferrari we always knew you could do it 👊🔥
yourusername CHARLIEEE always knew you could do it !
carlossainz55 amazing felicidades
charles_leclerc thank you thank you
maxverstappen1 hate to lose but congrats mate!
pierregasly living out your destiny 💪 that was all you charles!
ynfan1 pierre try not to make a petty comment challenge: FAILED (liked by yourusername)
f1fan monaco belongs to you, il predestinato!!!
yourusername posted a photo to their story!
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they both prefer each other over me guys help 😭😭
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landonorris my best girl 🥰 -> me?? so kind! landonorris 😑😑
I just tagged a few peps that I thought were waiting out for part 2! let me know if you're not comfortable being tagged :))
taglist: @kissesandmartinis @kissesandmartinis @vellicora @reidside @leclercin16
2/3 , part three is coming later tonight its gonna be fluffy i promise 💓
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