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beansbeware · 3 years

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Beans’ Bagginshield Recs

Here it is! My first rec list eight years since I first started shipping Bagginshield. When this lockdown started (and ended and started again) I found myself re-reading OG/classics and discovering new ones. Sifting through my AO3 history I realized I have read and already forgotten so much fic over the years. For a while, I though the ship had run its course but as we can see now, Bagginshield lives! Check back for updates as I discover (and remember) more fics. Pay attention to the tags and trigger warnings!

I Sang In My Chains Like The Sea by orphan_account for lincesque, IronPanda

In which Bilbo is a Jaeger pilot candidate, and Middle Earth stands on the brink of destruction. (Pacific Rim AU) [Wasn’t sure how this one worked but man it did]

At the Turn of the Year by northerntrash

They say that strange things live in the woods, fair folk and things more spirit than man; don't step between the old oaks, parents mutter to their children, or they might find you, and eat you. Thorin never believed that, but now winter is settling into his bones, the shadows are growing longer through the hoar frost, and he is lost among the trees.

And it was there that Thorin met him, that strange, laughing creature, walking barefoot through the bracken.

Canon-ish

Homeward Bound by perkynurples for 61Below

His life slips away from him on an elven boat carrying him overseas, and there is one last journey Bilbo Baggins must take if he truly means to arrive home.

Sansûkh by determamfidd

The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.

The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).

The Great Shire Conspiracy by Avelera for Emsiecat

Ten years later, Bilbo can't even go to the Green Dragon without a dwarven tourist buying him a beer and sobbing over Bilbo's great tragic love affair with Thorin Oakenshield. Which would all be quite touching and heartbreaking, if not for one little thing...

Dark (generally not a fan but this one made the cut)

Pain-Bearer by lilithiumwords (unfinished)

In an alternate reality, Erebor was never taken by Smaug, and the War of Dwarves and Orcs never happened. The Orcs invaded the Shire, slaughtering hundreds and taking countless more as slaves. Bilbo is slave to Azog, the Dwarf King's mortal enemy... until the Dwarf King rescues him.

Dwarves! in the Shire

Selling to Hobbits by HildyJ

Exiled from his kingdom and living on the mercy of others, Thorin is determined to make his own way in the world for him and his family. And the annual Summer Fair in Hobbiton sounds like the best place to sell enough of his crafted goods to do just that.

Oak and Mistletoe by HildyJ (series)

After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.

Erebor - Nope, Never Fell

A Most Sensible Idea by HildyJ

Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit.

Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship.

After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.

Signs and Meanings by HildyJ

It shouldn't matter to Thorin that the visiting hobbit cook doesn't speak his language. But it does.

Per Aspera by northerntrash

Deep in the dungeons of the Kingdom of Erebor, in an old, unused storeroom, lived a Hobbit.

In which Bilbo Baggins, a strangely successful thief, makes a mistake, and meets a Prince.

Erebor - Rebuilding

Mother-Tongue by northerntrash for HildyJ

Forget-me-not: a small flower, with four petals, which are normally found in shades of blue with a pink or white centre. These are traditional flowers of intent in the Shire, used to express true love, and remembrance.

In which Bilbo plans to leave Erebor, and Thorin tries to understand why.

Previous Engagements by Lunarflare14

After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

That would be tragic.

And I'm Your Lionheart by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo lingers in Erebor while Thorin recovers from his wounds, and soon finds himself caught up in politics, romance, and the occasional kidnapping. Ensemble cast. AU. Eventually Thorin/Bilbo.

Fix-Its (Gawd we need them)

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

though the stars walk backward by baggvinshield, killaidanturner

Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

Over Your Shoulder by northerntrash

The battle is over, and the lost have been counted. There is too much death, too much blood, and in the middle of it sits one small Hobbit, left quite alone but for a body on the ground and the memory of what might have been. But he is a tenacious creature, and if there is one thing that he has learnt, it is not to give up hope.

In which Bilbo Baggins goes on one last journey, and doesn't come back alone.

Historical Setting

The Ghost And Mr Baggins by perkynurples

They say that everything can be cured by saltwater - sweat, tears or the sea. Bilbo Baggins chooses the last option, taking his recently orphaned nephew and moving to the charming Oak Cottage, overlooking England’s grislier shores. The house charms him instantly, and though he knows nothing at all about the sea, or about making ends meet on his own so far from everything he’s known his whole life for that matter, he’s quite determined to stay, and see his nephew get better, odd sounds in the night be damned. He’s living in a modern world, after all, and the nonsense he’s been hearing about the house being haunted by its former owner, the mysterious Captain Durin, is just silly superstition… isn’t it?

Hobbit! Thorin

I've Grown a Hedge Around My Heart by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Thorin Brandybuck, just recently come of age, still lives in his family’s smial in Buckland, with his parents and two younger siblings. Thorin is an odd duck amongst his relations and neighbours-- unsociable, grumpy, shy, and awkward. And beyond that, he looks rather strange even for a Bucklander, strongly favouring the thick, dark haired build of his Stoorish blood.

It defies all sense and reason why Bilbo Baggins, an exemplar of all the respectable traits Thorin lacked, would ever desire a friendship with him.

Bilbo, as Thorin discovers, is not always as sensible as he appears.

Marriage (or something like it)

An Unexpected Proposal by Eareniel

As Bilbo sat smoking in his empty hobbit hole, he couldn’t help but wonder – when did his life become so boring? Or better yet – when did his old life stop being enough?

He suspected the answer to that question lay somewhere around the time when he had refused Thorin Oakenshield’s offer of marriage.

Something Blue by Lapin

Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.

Magical/Super Powers

On Adventures and Other Forms of Conduct Unbecoming of a Wizard by manic_intent for beingevil

For as long as even the old Gaffer could remember there had been a wizard living in the hill at Bag End, overlooking the Shire. As wizards went, this one wasn't the wandering sort, always out to lure gentle folk out onto nasty adventures, or even the powerful kind, the sort that lived in high towers, reaching out into the ways of the world.

Modern Setting

Old Stone, New Fires by northerntrash

Bilbo was not sure what he had expected when he had agreed to supervise the restoration of Erebor House, on the lonely tidal island in the North sea, but it was not this. The winters up here are cold and harsh, and there is a strange feeling on the air, thick with the brine of the sea and secrets to which he is not privy; there is some part of the long and troubled history of the place that has not been spoken of, a shadow between the broken family gravestones and the caves beneath the cliffs, dark and dangerous.

Perhaps it is all in Bilbo’s mind, but as the nights grow longer, he starts to doubt it, and as Thorin sinks ever deeper into black and incalculable moods, he will have to find what has been lost, before it takes them all.

For This by northerntrash

Thorin Durin had lived in his new flat for approximately eighty four minutes when things started to go terribly, terribly wrong. The wrongness came in the form of a package, delivered to his door, wrapped in brown paper and string, with a small tag wishing him a very sincere welcome to the building.

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

If There Were Water by stickman

Bilbo Baggins might be in over his head. He’s purchased an old stone house atop a hill overlooking a city he doesn’t know, and plans to live quietly, largely ignoring the rest of the world. But it’s early April, the rainy season, and the roof leaks, and there's something strange about Bywater House that he can't quite figure out.

Thorin Oakenshield is in his fourth month of trying to reconcile his own grief with his failures at anything remotely resembling a competent single parent, living out of a shoebox flat with Fíli (seven, sullen, and stubborn as hell) and Kíli (five, resilient but cracking), working crap jobs and hating everything including himself.

Under the cover of rainy afternoons and sleepless nights, roof repairs and building restoration, Bilbo and Thorin try to figure out how one navigates isolation, and how one breaks out of it. Every step they manage to take forward finds them dragged back again; every question asked has too many answers, or too few. This is a story about living in a world where everyone is on their own, always, and how things go on.

How the West Was Won and Where It Got Us by stickman

Bilbo is a harried 1st year British literature Ph.D. (early 20th century fiction) who happens to have an interest in spatial narrative structures, a lack of time-management skills, and a tiny apartment with a lot of books and very little furniture. He’s stressed, always, and doesn't quite know where he belongs. He tells himself that really, this is, in fact, what he wants to be doing. But sometimes, as much as he loves books, he gets an urge to do something with his hands.

Thorin is a disgruntled M.Arch. 1 in his last year who can’t be arsed to shave and frightens his students, and, frankly, his profs, but his work is top-notch so no one can really say much. They can, however, bully him into running a hands-on design workshop on Saturday mornings, which is complete crap, because he’s used to drinking his Friday nights into oblivion so showing up at Milstein at 7:45 the next morning and trying to teach in a room of wall-to-wall windows as the sun rises is not at the top of his list. Besides, no one ever shows up.

Except one morning, someone does.

The Boy You Met (At The Coin Laundry) by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo accidentally spends a summer in Ireland. One rainy day, Thorin appears in the hotel laundry room, naked and dripping wet and about to propose. (But not, unfortunately, to Bilbo.)

Gandalf, Thranduil, and a handful of Spanish footballers all guest-star.

Hooked On You by Chamelaucium

Thorin should have learnt not to trust his brother and sister by now.

Come with us on holiday, they’d said. It’ll be fun, they’d said. A nice break from work.

Yeah right. All this holiday had brought him was being knocked around the head, acute hay-fever, and the biggest, most ridiculous crush ever on the cute, golden-haired fishing instructor.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

“One”/Soulmates

you lick your lips (you taste like years of being alone) by perkynurples for stopchasingflowers

Thorin Oakenshield was born without the longing, and has spent his whole life merely observing others as they pursued a feeling unknown to him until they finally found their One. He has made his peace with the prospect of being alone, and has been faring well enough, but little does he know the fates have a different story in store for him.

Things We Grow Together by serenbach

Dwarves are born with a bone-deep knowledge of their One, but Thorin stops feeling the pull of his after the dragon attacks Erebor. Needless to say, he is surprised, and not initially pleased, to find his One living behind a round green door decades later.

Hobbits find a seed that represents their innermost self and can offer it to someone else to plant. This creates a bond as strong as deep roots in the earth between them. It is just like Bilbo, after years of thinking that no one would want his, to offer his soul-seed to a dwarf that does not understand gardening metaphors.

But just because they have found each other does not make the quest to reclaim Erebor any easier, and in the end a sacrifice is still made.

Thorin has to trust in the strength of the bond between himself and his One, because otherwise he will never believe that the sacrifice was worth it.

Colour-struck by northerntrash

Soul mates are like adventures, Bilbo had often consoled himself. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things that made you late for dinner. It was no great hardship that he had never met his, even if he couldn't tell which of his petunias were blue and which were purple.

Quest-ions

Discovering Mr Baggins by Eareniel

The story of a Hobbit, told through the eyes of the dwarves.

Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary by Fruitsie

Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain and Totally Majestic Badass of Middle Earth, does not have a raging hard-on for Bilbo Baggins.

No, seriously.

Just read his diary.

Call You Home by northerntrash

In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.

Time Travel (because walking Middle Earth is not enough)

Of an Arcane Binding by Salvia_G

An inexplicable magic ties Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, to Thorin, dwarven prince of Erebor

#bagginshield #thorin x bilbo #the hobbit #fic rec #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield

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ameliajessicapond · 3 years

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amy :-)

favorite thing about them: her wonder and heart and ability to find something fun or lovely in the face of a very un-fun, un-lovely situation. it's not blind optimism it's looking at how shitty the world is and saying, "ok well i'm still gonna paint a goofy hairstyle on this killing machine."

least favorite thing about them: terrible taste in men no i will not elaborate and honestly i don't think i need to. also no i will not pick a real flaw because i don't feel like being sad today!!!

favorite line: Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery. And loneliness. And it just made it kind... But I've seen it before. Very old and very kind. And the very, very last. Sound a bit familiar?

brOTP: this is just gonna make me sad because she has no friends. fuck it, amy/her gay friend laura. no it's not my self-insert yes she DOES technically exist in universe, amy was going to be a bridesmaid at her wedding.

OTP: i don't want to talk about it.

nOTP: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!

random headcanon: i have two very specific houses that are fully furnished and decorated and realised in my own personal headcanon. one is on the north wales coast or maybe the scottish west coast and is all greys and light blues and pebbled beach vibes and it's where amy runs away to process and Be Alone after the divorce goes through. yes the doctor shows up but it's her space and she does a lot of painting in this one room on the ground floor with an easel and a big window, and a lot of writing in the tiny box room that's directly opposite the top of the stairs and that has a dark brown desk and a nice green chair. THE OTHER house is in the south of france and is all pastels and terracotta and lavender beds out front and olive trees on the hill that goes up directly behind the house. and this is where amy and the doctor go together after they've finally sorted All That Shit out. like they've done some talking and healing and growing and reconciling and now they're going to be happy, damnit!!!! there's a big wooden dining table right next to the cluttered, light blue kitchen and they cook and laugh and open some wine and are okay!!!!!!!!!

i'm fine

unpopular opinion: season six of doctor who doesn't make sense, like irredeemably doesn't make sense, but it does begin to Just Barely Hang Together if amy and the doctor fucked at some point in s5 and she's fully lying to rory about it during the whole maybe-pregnancy arc. i WILL happily elaborate on this one.

song i associate with them: regina spektor samson UNFORTUNATELY

favorite picture of them

stunning. radiant. wonderful. my girl.

#amy pond

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abbydramarambles · 4 years

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The REAL Ending CLOY

This is my headcanon and you can’t tell me otherwise. The epilogue in Switzerland is set a few years after the events of that piano concert. They have already found a way to be together more permanently. To me the house doesn’t seem like a vacation house, it seems like a home home.

There is that photo of Se-ri on the bridge, not something one would frame for themselves. RJH definitely lives there. Check out the north Korean coffee kettle and other souvenirs as well. This is the sort of stuff one would have in their home.

The only thing holding RJH to North Korean is his parents, the fact that they could be killed if he were to defect. After they die, he has no reason to stay. We’ve already been shown that he is resourceful and would know exactly how to get out. Not to mention that everything in north Korean runs on money, if you have connections like Se-ri and RJH do....anything is possible. And to me these two people with all their power, well they would find a way.

Dan’s mother travels out of the country a lot as well for business. I think the 2 weeks is the longest trip Se-ri takes while RJH’s parents are alive. It’s not the only trip of the year. I doubt her employees would be saying “you’re going to Switzerland again??” if it was a once a year sort of deal they wouldn’t think she had a man. They even say “it’s lasting a while this time”. Come on who in the world would think it’s a relationship if their boss goes to switzerland for 2 weeks a year. It’s her favorite 2 weeks of the year because of it being uninterrupted time.

Well with her wealth and his determination, and connections via his family, I'm sure they'll find a way eventually, either it is his parents passing away (since it has been about 6 years between him going back to NK and the epilogue meetup), or him somehow getting a long term mentoring position at Switzerland. You’re telling me Dan’s mom a department store owner can swing to Europe anytime, and Se-ri who created a whole scholarship for her man can’t swing something in collaboration with Papa Ri?

I got the impression the student performing his song on stage was a full-time student in Switzerland. RJH is not studying abroad but is teaching NK scholarship winners. Seri has been traveling back and forth a lot but these two weeks are the longest continual time they have together.

When Seri first sees him in Switzerland she asks how dangerous his journey was, and he didn’t answer, just said he got on the wrong train but reached his destination. “Destination” implies a final location to me, not just a two-week stay. For two people who find it torturous to be apart for even a moment, destination would not have been thrown around like that. It could’ve taken his Dad some time to manage the politics to make a permanent teaching position with the National Symphony. He did see his son cry in the car after leaving her. That man is powerful, the 3rd most powerful man in North Korean. A political manipulation genius, a man always one step ahead of the others. He got his son and 5 people in and out of South Korea. You best believe he can make it happen. He’s not going to sit back and leave his only son living without his only dream. Plus RJH was never a flag waving patriotic North Korean anyway. He already expressed that he wanted to stay with SeRi in South Korea, have a child that looks just like her. It’s kdrama script writing 101 to not have your lead character mention a deep desire such as this one unless its foreshadowing or serves a larger purpose. And Park Ji Eun is no noob writer.

Let’s look at the way the show itself references fate and destiny. Regardless of how impossible it may seem, these two always managed to find each other again. Fate is pushing them together and is on their side. I don’t think fate wants them to meet 2 weeks a year. Fate didn’t make them meet in Switzerland, in North Korea, in South Korea, and in Switzerland again for 2 weeks a year for the rest of their lives. I can’t entertain that. A lot of people think that the epilogue on the hill and when she meets him for the first time again in Switzerland with the parachute are the same time frame. I don’t think so. I really do think the piano concert is the ending and the picnic is the epilogue. It’s years from then, when everything has been sorted about how to be together permanently and it’s a window in to happy every after. Just look at their body language and expressions in the last scene, they are totally at peace and seem to have gotten everything they wanted. Even the music radiates peace. Listen to the lyrics of Sigriswil that play as the camera pans out “wandering this strange night, won’t you be here by me? now I hold your hands, with you I’ll be alright...how does it feel, my friend? It’s been a long day and night” THEY ARE NO LONGER WANDERING ALONE THAT IS THE POINT. period. It was a “long day and night, but now I hold your hand” ... how does it finally feel to have your happy ever after....my friend. IT REEKS OF OPTIMISM and closure. In film making the atmosphere says everything about what is unsaid in the script.

You best believe he won’t leave a stone unturned to be with her, see her grow old and live in the house of dreams with their twins. Just the fact that he vocalized this thought in the show leads me to believe that it did indeed happen.

Believe in what the show is telling us to believe. What it’s showing us, not telling us even. That love will always find a way.

Cloy’s ending also reminds me of very heavily of (spoiler) that of “my love from the stars”. It was written by Park Ji-eun, the same writer as CLOY. So yes they are forced to be apart in that show too, but he finds his way back and each time they meet its for longer and longer and its implied that one day it will be forever. If an alien could find a wormhole to make it back to his love interest, north korea isn’t looking too bad. Same thing with her other star crossed lovers show “legend of the blue sea”. The mermaid finds him again against all odds and they live happily ever (plus a baby). Hey I’m just saying that the precedent has been set on how this seperation works through our writers own works. Having seen all of Park Ji Eun I know exactly how she structures her endings. It’s almost always the same. The mermaid made it back, the alien made it back...north korea is where we draw the line? They’re only apart for awhile till they figure it out, and they work hard to do so.

Whatever this image is from TVN left it unaired. They shot something they had to pull back. My crack theory brain says she looks a bit pregnant. Actually, that ain’t even a crack theory, I stand behind it. Son yejin is so slim, and judging by the material of the dress it just wouldn’t fall like that unless they were trying to make her look pregnant. Like LISTEN, just LISTEN to me. They put in the effort to get the actors in these outfits we have never seen before, they even gave seri flowers...whY?? There are no other purely promo shots that didn’t have footage attached. The only ones I can think of are the ones they took in front of a greenscreen for the photoframes inside their house. THIS WAS A REAL SCENE THAT WAS DELETED. South Korean dramas pre-film certain scenes (like the swiss ones) and live film the others to make slight changes to the storyline based on audience reaction. During airing there was quite a lot of political backlash a la north korea.

There are some stills TVN released that weren’t screencaps. But ALL of them were in outfits relating to scenes we have seen, such as this one. It just would make no sense for them to go out of there way to get this image on the jam packed expensive swiss schedule and not just do greenscreen in korea like they did for all the other promo material UNLESS it was a real scene.

So you want more evidence for plot points that indicated the original, unaired, together forever in Switzerland ending?

Let’s look at some details, at one point in Episode 14 when Jeong Hyeok's father is meeting with the bad guy Senior Colonel who tries to use photos of Jeong Hyeok in Korea as a bargaining chip, he says "You should retire quietly. Using your health as an excuse won't raise any suspicions." now whilst this may be a casual reference to him being old and that health issues are plausible, it's also possible Jeong Hyeok's father has had some long term illness they've not mentioned which would add to why it wouldn't raise suspicions.

The main reason I thought of this is it would sort of line up with some other details, in the finale when they're deciding whether to send them back or not, at the NIS briefing they mention how the North has requested keeping it quiet and confidential, they mention "They want the confidentiality term to be five years. They're being sensitive about it because one of them is a high-ranking officers son". Then if we fast forward toward the end when Se-ri is receiving the timed messages, a year passes after her birthday message from Jeong Hyeok, after that scene we see Jeong Hyeok having his farewell meal with the townspeople and preparing to leave after being accepted as a pianist for the National Symphony Orchestra, presumably around the same time as Se-ris birthday given that scene was right before. Se-ri then comes up with her Switzerland Music academy idea probably a few weeks or month or so after she read RJH's text about meeting and then it tells as it's one year later, Se-ri waits but doesn't meet him and returns home, her mum says "It breaks my heart to see you return in disappointment every time" which if that's a correct translation it means it's been more than once by this point. Add up this entire timeline....guess what it comes out to. FIVE YEARS. That’s how long it takes them to sort out a permanent solution for their problem.

When he chooses to defect it will be much easier for him considering he’s making trips to Switzerland already. All he would have to do is walk into a South Korean embassy in Zurich. They have an open door policy for North Koreans, he doesn’t even need to cross the DMZ again.

You want even MORE proof? Okay my friend, I’ll bite. Why are there photos of a couple with children?? Honestly come on I really don’t have to say more.

They had to leave the ending open. Due to the political situation, they couldn’t exactly show RJH, a North Korean, defecting. Pretty sure our buddy Kim Jong-un would not be chill with that. However ridiculous it is, the show had multiple attacks on it while it was running by political parties saying it violated the “national security act”.

The ending was clearly cleverly re-edited to be less explicit so the viewer can read between the lines but the show-runners can protect themselves from lawsuits and public sentiment regarding a sort of maybe illegal situation. If you believe they met for two weeks a year for the rest of their lives, you don’t know RiRi Ri-eally well ;)

#crash landing on you #cloy #yoon se ri #ri jung hyeok #ri jeong hyeok #hyun bin #son ye jin #kdrama #binjin #dooly #riri couple

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walker-journal · 3 years

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Lenan and Lampchops (Adam and Caoimhe)

Characters: Adam Walker (Hunter- Tapir), Caoimhe Brennan (Leanan-Sidhe-Sadie)

Timing: Before the events of Hell’s True North

Summary: The search for Nell continues on a deceptive world of sheep and stray sod where Adam happens to run into, Caoimhe, one of the music professors who isn’t quite as surprised about Sheep Hell as she should be.

Content Warning: Gun Use

Adam looked into a bright sky with unfamiliar stars and other verdant worlds of fields and jungles that loomed in the sky. Fields of soft grass extended unbroken toward the horizon, undulating in the breeze. Towering thickets of Illuabris Ferns, larger than he’d ever seen them grow on Earth, were pillars of black and violet that stood stark against the rolling green.

Vegetable Lambs grazed around the Hunter, paying him no mind as they basked in the off-color light of alien suns. Adam had been wandering for what felt like many days now, but the strange sky didn’t give much clue if that was true. Only the deterioration of his clothes, now bleached by sun and sporting tattered holes hinted that the Hunter had been hiking for far longer than he realized. He couldn’t even count how many of these barometz lambs he’d eaten to keep his strength up, the rest of the herds always just staring with dull dispassion as Adam butchered and cooked one of their number.

He was lost, and had been so long enough for his tactical gear to fray, fade, and make Adam look more like a beleaguered deserter than someone who’d come here armed to the teeth on a mission.

The Hunter had to admit that of all the worlds he’d been to so far while trying to find Nell, Lambchops Land was definitely the most surprising with its ass-kicking at the moment, and it hadn’t even given him a scratch.

Adam felt a flicker of a paranormal presence that definitely wasn’t another goddam lamb. He crested another hill at a slow cautious gait, raising his rifle at the…

The new music teacher?

Wait….was that her? Was he…?

Ok, so if her chest burst open and she’s been a Lamb Alien the whole time Adam was just done, so done.

“Hey ...uh..Professor Brennan,” said the sunburnt ragged soldier, “what brings you to Lambchop Land?”

It was like something Caoimhe had seen in a picture, or dancing between the flames of the bonfires they’d light in Ireland. It was a world forever just out of reach, only as permanent as any single tendril of flame. It was beautiful, painted in hues of blue and green, all movement as the grass swayed back and forth, a patchwork quilt of stars overhead, and–

And Vegetable Lambs. Vegetable Lambs as far as the eye could see. They dotted the otherwise pristine landscape, cutting figures of cotton-fluff and fruit against the horizon. The peaceful breeze brought with it the bleating of different herds. It was by far the best portal Caoimhe had poked her head into yet: picturesque with a touch of levity.

Then the view changed with the barrel of a rifle. She followed the length of it up until she was met with ruffled hair and sun-bleached clothes, and the kind of weariness only seen in well-worn travelers who hadn’t seen home in far too long. He looked out of place, a single ragged figure painted in dusty pencil over a backdrop of vibrant oils. It was a concept, but Caoimhe wasn’t sure it quite suited him. The way his grip sat against the rifle, she thought maybe he might better fit in the climax of an old western; the twanging of the guitar builds.

“Just me.” She held her hands up for a moment before letting them fall back to her side. He looked like he’d been prepared at one point in time. This trip wasn’t an accident for him. “Would you believe me, if I told you I just stumbled in? Can’t say I expected White Crest to be so...dimensionally inclusive.”

Adam cocked his head at the music professor, features moving from confusion to frowning wariness as her lack of disorientation set off alarm bells in his brain. The Hunter could feel that she wasn’t human but didn’t narrow things down much.

“I’d believe it,” Adam affirmed. “There have been some other folks that’ve gotten yoinked by these space rips,” the planar wanderer noted. “White Crest is in a weak spot in reality,” the apocalypse prepper claimed, not really bothering to pretend ignorance when he was gun totting on the Veggie Lamb Planet. “I just hope we can find some way to seal that shit up before everything goes to hell...like permanently y’know?”

Adam sighed. “So uh...you would have happened to have seen a portal anywhere?”

Yes.

Caoimhe hesitated a moment. She’d pegged it right, he was prepared. Whatever had actually brought him to a planet of Vegetable Lambs, he at least had a mission now. And it seemed like the knowledge to accomplish it, if he could ever find a portal again. If she helped him find a portal again. His expression shifted, and her eyebrows lifted; curious.

He needed help, something curious in and of itself, considering. The portal she’d come through herself wasn’t too far away, obscured by the rolling hills. If he could manage to walk a straight line for more than a few minutes, he might even be able to stumble back through it without her help. But the state of him told her he’d been trying just that, to no avail. If something had him that turned around–

“I haven’t been here very long, so logically there should be one not too far away.” She kicked the grass at her feet. “If we put our heads together, we can find a way out. Don’t think either of us will be doing much good solving the portal crisis here. Any ideas what’s caused it yet?”

“I uh...can’t find my way,” Adam admitted. The Hunter reached into his pack and pulled out a battered compass. Adam closed his eyes and placed home at the forefront of his mind, focusing on the faces of friends and the DIE fraternity house. The compass Penelope had enchanted on the eve of their last night began to spin. The sorceress’ magic sensed the intention of Adam’s heart and soon the compass needle was dutifully pointing the way to portal back White Crest.

The only problem was, no matter how far Adam walked on these paradisiacal rolling hills in the direction of an exit, he kept circling back and retracing his way out.

“This compass was enchanted by a witch to help me find the way,” Adam said, choosing to simplify the painful knot of emotions that came with this gift. “But no matter what happens I keep circling back.”

Adam shook his head at the question of a bigger picture. “I know there are keys and big-ass worm boring through dimensions but I’ve got no idea how they all fit together yet.”

“I’ve gathered.” Caoimhe grinned up at the disheveled Adam, obviously having been wandering for longer than he ever should have been. Curiosity brought her the rest of the way up the hill to stand next to him. It was a neat trick, to say the least. With a needle to point him exactly where he should go, he should have found his way out long before the sun could bleach his clothes. The hills were just redundant enough to be confusing, but not that confusing.

“You focus on the compass, then. Nowhere else, just the compass. I’ll make sure we’re not doing any circles.” Placing a gentle hand on his elbow, Caoimhe led them in the direction the compass pointed, a direction she knew would eventually yield a portal and a ticket home again. “You know, if you ignore the fact this portal has you all sorts of twisted up, it’s kind of beautiful.”

It was. Blues and greens and yellows and the gentle bleating of the Vegetables Lambs. It was rather harmless, but then, Caoimhe still knew exactly where she was standing and in which direction she needed to go. “Keys and worms. That’s...way too vague. Have there always been portals, or did I just move in at the wrong time?”

“Yeah in a Little House on the Prairie butter-churning sort of way,” Adam admitted, controlling himself enough not to flinch Caoimhe put his hand on his elbow. His Hunter senses send icy hot pinpricks through him at the paranormal woman’s touch and not in the sexy way. Adam was thankful that his time in White Crest had made the feeling of being around supernatural beings routine enough that he didn't go into fight or flight mode as much as he used to.

“So uh, is finding your way out in the country just a superpower you’d got then,” Adam asked as they crested another hill of strange colorful plants whose tendril polyps writhing and curled in the sunshine. Outright asking ‘what’ Caoimhe was seemed a bit on the nose considering that she was in a helpful mood.

“White Crest is in a like, dimensional weakspot,” Adam posited, seeing no reason to conceal the information considering how literally to hell everything was going. “It’s properly why there are so many demons and whatnot around, but this is definitely a huge spike in Hellmouth stuff.”

With Adam following, Caoimhe let go and walked a few steps ahead. Her fingers curled into her palms and she spun herself through a few different answers. What she did wasn’t a superpower, though some might construe it as such. With their eyes glazed over and their hands moving over the keys of a piano, with a whole world of inspiration spreading itself in front of them. The divine muse. Caoimhe swallowed. It wasn’t a superpower. It was a mystical science at best. She wouldn’t go so far as to say a curse; she could hear her mother screaming from Ireland.

“Have you considered you might be exceptionally good at getting lost?” She cast a glance his direction, tone light. She had a feeling he wasn’t. She had a feeling he’d see right through her dancing around the point. “I’ve spent a lot of my life traveling, you tend to get good at the cardinal directions.”

She didn’t want to be seen. “Lovely. Welcome to White Crest, right? Portals and Hellmouths, and– what, what is that?”

The sun blotted out and the bleating seemed to increase in volume. Something deeper and louder broke through the din, then. Something Caoimhe could feel rattle in her chest.

“I mean...that’s fair,” Adam allowed, sunburned face breaking into a smile at Caoimhe’s counterpoint as he kept his eyes locked on the compass as they weaved their way through blossoming heaths and swaying forests of Illuabris Ferns.

Caoimhe’s exclamation raised Adam’s gaze to the verdant valley spread out below them.

In a cleft between four grassy hills was a circle of cairn stones. Within the cairn circle was what seemed to be a pit of pure sunlight that shone like a beacon in the sudden gloom that’d encroached across the sky.

Beyond the sunwell was what Adam had first taken to be an enormous tree before it shambled forward on hoofed feet. It was then that the Hunter realized it was a giant Barometz, bigger than any Earthly ecosystem would’ve made possible. It’s roots were a cluster of long hooved legs and scrambled forward like a bovine millipede. Engorged clusters of Vegetable Lambs hung from its branches in the matter of grapes on a vine, their discordant cacophony of shrieking growing closer.

“Well shit, its like a…. Megalamp King.”

“It’s coming our way, is what it is.” And directly in their way. Caoimhe thought throwing a dog on a piano might sound better than the thing trampling its way towards them. She’d heard middle-school bands who could give it a run for its money. Which was all entirely ignoring the fact that one misplaced, vine-thick hoof could squash her. It was a beautiful place, but she really didn’t want it to be the last place she ever saw.

“We shouldn’t be too far from the portal, but…” The sound of shuffling and the increasing din of the creature moving towards them was almost too loud, “We’re going to need to get through or around that. And unlike you, I don’t have a rifle.”

Nor were her gifts particularly suited for Vegetable Kombat. Round one, fight. “Any ideas?”

Adam reached behind to his back and produced a metal sphere topped with a fuse clip and safety to offered it to the professor. “I’ll fire at it and try to draw the Lamb Tree off the side,” he suggested as the towering Barometz began to lumber up the hill. “Run to the portal while I distract it. When you get there, pull this clip and throw this explosive at it.”

Adam doubted a handheld grenade would actually kill something this big but it’d at least buy a moment or two hopefully. “That might give me enough to run to you and we can get the hell out. Sound good?”

A bomb. He handed her a bomb. And really it shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise, considering the rifle with which he’d greeted her, but Caoimhe still took a moment to stare at it. Her strengths had always been a little more subtle. It was in gentle but purposeful touches, encouragement, making someone weak just for existing and creating in a space with her. Adam’s strengths appeared to be explosive weaponry.

“...Sounds better than anything I could’ve come up with.” Caoimhe took the metal sphere gingerly, like it was liable to go off if she squeezed it too hard. Okay, she knew how a grenade worked. She’d watched movies before. She was entirely prepared. She nodded, “Just make sure you don’t get lost trying to find me.”

She cast a grin over her shoulder and ran. And it was shaky at best. The kind of grin worked around a desperate joke and a heart hammering a sharp staccato against her chest, through legs that felt more like jelly than muscle and bone. The ground shook as she did her best to flank it, each thunderous footstep displacing the earth around it. A quick glance up and Caoimhe could catch wide-eyes with different clusters of Vegetable Lambs dangling off the main beast, their mouths dropped open but the cacophony too loud to pick out the individuals.

She was going to throw up. Perhaps not right in the moment, but later, after the adrenaline fully wore off. After she had a chance to remember how tightly she’d been holding the grenade and how many times she’d almost tripped over her own feet. How the grass itself seemed to tangle around her ankles and she could only catch glimpses of Adam through the weaving roots and swaying lambs. She might even laugh, too. Since when was a lamb so horrifying?

By the time she spotted the portal, her chest burned, and it would be so easy to jump through and be done with the whole experience, but Adam. She pivoted around, pulled the pin, and lobbed the grenade as hard as she could.

Adam sprinted out of the ensuing cloud of splintered wood and sheep guts, wiping fleece and gory vines out of his eyes. He bled from an array of bites from entire clusters of ravenous sheep and burns from vine constriction. The Megalamp Tree staggered in a panicked frenzy, thrashing out wildly in the splinters and smoke. Enormous limbs carved deep furrows through the bright grass as they slammed blindly down. Adam wove back and forth among the heather as he tried to avoid the descent of column-like branches and the vegetable lambs being flung everywhere like shrieking dandelion seeds.

Adam sprinted over to Caoimhe, plastered in bloody fleece and leaves. He looked over to the vortex swirling between the cairn stones. “Thanks! Nearly got strangled by the Bo-Peep there.”

Caoimhe almost didn’t expect to see him come out the other side. Between the thrashing off the Megalamp Tree and Adam’s penchant for getting completely turned around, the odds were not in their favor. But he rounded the thrashing beast with a thanks and Caoimhe promptly doubled over, dry-heaving into the once-serene, swaying grass. For a moment, a thumbs up was all she could manage over pulling in one breath after another.

She was made for classrooms. For violins in bar bathrooms and crooked smiles and french horns and running from her problems. Adam was obviously built of tougher stuff. He didn’t seem much phased by red-stained fleece and sticky leaves. He had a rifle and a bomb, and something twisted in Caoimhe’s chest, but she wasn��t going to question him when he’d handed her a ticket out. He was made for something else.

“I found the portal.” She rubbed at her eyes and grinned behind the column of her forearms. She found the portal, and he fought their way out. Caoimhe supposed she should be thankful. “Wouldn’t have been much good if I had been crushed, though.”

The ground shook as clumps of lambs fell wildly onto the ground, little feet scrambling every which direction, lost. Whatever Adam was made for, she was glad she’d found him. “Thank you.” She crooked a thumb over her shoulder at the mess of a beast behind them, “That was all you. I think...I think maybe we’d both have been stuck here.”

She stopped short of a ‘we make a good team,’ and settled for a thankful smile, stepping back to make sure he was able to pass through the portal and casting one last glance at the mess they left behind them.

#evebrennan #caoimhe #Portal Combat #potw #adam #gun use tw

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gerbiloftriumph · 4 years

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The Silence Between Snowflakes

(also on ao3) ~ 2/8 - Footprints

~*~*~

Alexander had met the villagers and royal knights, but Graham wanted more than ballroom politeness and hastily muttered, “yes, I’m fine, lovely to meet you”s. He wanted them to be comfortable with each other. His son and his citizens. He was eager to show Alexander all that Daventry had to offer. Almost as soon as Alexander was able, Graham started hovering and gently steering him toward walking the paths with him, to explore what was theirs together. To actually get to know each other.

Even in winter, Daventry glittered. Perhaps even more so in winter, what with the ice in the tree branches and the crunchy snow glimmering in the sunlight. The little waterfalls that cascaded over the rocks in the spring froze into twisted natural sculptures, shards sharp as goblin spears. The air was crisp and clear enough that you could hear a twig snap halfway through the forest.

Alexander dutifully pulled his scarf up higher around his ears and trooped behind his father, silent but observant. Graham chattered to fill the empty air between them, pointing out this place or that.

“Starberries grow here in the late autumn—it's like constellations in the trees. And you won’t believe how loud the frogs in that pond in spring are. You'll hear them from the castle on clear nights. Most of the birds have migrated, but wait until they come back. The sounds they make in the early summer mornings before that golden sun properly comes up over the hills…. Oh, and this path, this one leads to a gorgeous lookout. It’s icy now, but maybe in a couple days we might be able to try it, and you can see the whole valley. It’ll look like it’s been dipped in sugar now, and in the summer the lavender fields make the whole valley purple.”

He desperately tried to paint his kingdom in all its colors for his son. Like he could wrap up the whole thing up as a gift. His son listened and nodded and made occasional noises to let Graham know he was listening, and that was about it.

The first couple walks were the same. Graham babbled endlessly, pressing down his unease that he was being annoying and overbearing. At night, he confessed his apprehension to Valanice, and they talked long into the night together. She insisted that what he was doing was helpful. “He comes back with such a rosy blush in his cheeks.”

“It’s windchill,” Graham fretted, crumpling his cloak in his hands.

“He’s happy,” she said. “Well. Happier. I think. Don’t stop. It’s important for him to see and to hear. But don’t forget to give him space. I know how much you can talk about Daventry when you get started. I know how much you love it. But...give him room.”

The walks continued, and Graham kept himself quiet as much as he talked. Alexander, when he noticed the lengthy pauses, seemed all the more nervous, as though he was expected to fill the silences. And that made him jumpy. But Graham didn’t expect things, just cautiously helped move the conversation forward. It was a bit like trying to help one of the nervous courtiers speak, he decided. He might not know how to talk to a son, but he knew how to talk to his citizens, and while that might not be a long-term solution, at least at first, at least for now, it might help.

And it did.

Alexander, gently coaxed by Graham, started to talk. Not about the past, not yet. But about their present. Started to ask about where they were going. Wanted to risk the icy overlook to see the valley spread below them like a frosted painting. Wanted to know where people lived, what they did. As he talked, Graham realized how starved the boy was for information. He had spent his life locked in Manannan’s grasp, watching the world go by from a distance, and while he was clever and sharp, he simply didn’t know. So Graham showed him everything.

~*~*~*

“What do you think that is?” Alexander pointed down the path.

Graham leaned around a bend in the trail to see what Alexander had found. “Looks like a scarf.”

Alexander fidgeted with his own scarf. “I bet whoever dropped it is cold.”

Graham knelt to pick it up. It was well crafted, a bright green that positively glittered against the slushy path. It had snowed earlier (it seemed to be snowing more often this winter, each day bringing another flurry of flakes), and there were all sorts of tangled footprints crisscrossing each other. Graham hadn’t been paying them much mind before—it was a road, there were footprints in the snow. Not exactly something to write a fantasy novel about.

But now he looked a little more carefully, looked at the size of the tracks. Most were blurred, but he had an uneasy prickling at the back of his neck. They almost looked like children’s footprints, but he remembered dark caves, ropes, salamanders, and a gut-punch sense of fear rippled down his spine for an instant. His head snapped up, searching the trees for any additional signs of the goblins he knew were out there.

In the distance, now that he was paying attention, he could hear something hammering, very faintly. The twenty-something, newly crowned king in the back of his head immediately decided the goblins were building cages to take the villagers again. The fifty-something established king told himself to stop exaggerating and assuming the worst. The twenty-something king muttered that inattentiveness was how they’d been captured in the first place. The fifty-something king didn’t actually have an answer to that.

Graham glanced at his son—but if there were goblins out there, and if they did mean harm, it wouldn’t be safe to send the prince back to the castle on his own. And Graham couldn’t leave the sound uninvestigated.

“Come with me, but quietly,” Graham said, motioning Alexander down the path, following the goblin tracks.

The hammering got louder. As they walked, though, Graham realized what it was. Not goblins, at least not in this exact instance. Someone was hammering signs into trees. Brightly colored sheets of paper lined the path. Wanted signs, for stolen socks. They rounded the corner and found the source of the hammering and the sheets.

“Aaah, Acorn,” Graham said, relief sparking through his tense shoulders. “Having trouble?”

“Someone raided my stock,” the knight growled, thumping his hammer against the nail in the tree, lodging the sign firmly. The tree had a ring of impact in it from the weight of the hammer. He had blue and green paint streaking his armor from painting the signs in an angry hurry. “Not so much as a single glove left behind.”

“I think I know who.”

“I knew it! That rival craft shop across the river, right? Knitwits or whatever they’re called? Buncha nitwits. I knew it. Mafia creeps. I’m gonna lodge a formal complaint with the royal guards. Trying to button in on my service area, how dare they?”

“No, not them,” Graham said, and offered the scarf. Acorn gently took it, brushing the dirt off it, looking all the more upset about its condition. “Goblins, I think,” Graham continued. “There’s a whole bunch of their tracks just up the lane.”

Acorn seemed taken aback. “No. Really? They haven’t caused trouble for decades. They’ve kept to themselves. Why would they be stirring up trouble again?”

“Good question,” Graham said. “I intend to find out. Something must have happened.”

Instinctively, both men turned and looked at Alexander. Alexander’s eyes widened and he shrank back, stepping into the shade of a tree and tripping over an upraised root hidden in the snow.

“Possibly,” Graham said, mostly to himself. “I wonder if an audience with the goblin king would be useful.” He realized what his mouth had gone off saying and froze, imagining himself down in the goblin tunnels again, those bleak roads he had once trekked as a prisoner, to keep that appointment. He shook his head, scaring the image away. “I’ll deal with that later. For now, we’ll notify the royal guards and let the rest of the villagers know. I’ll head back to town now.”

“Would you take this back to Amaya if you’re going that way?” Acorn asked, holding the hammer out. “I ran out of signs, but I’m gonna go look around, and I promised I’d get that back to her quick.”

Graham was about to protest, about to suggest it wasn’t safe, and then remembered who he was talking to. The strongest knight Daventry had to offer, and surprisingly deadly with a pair of knitting needles. “You be careful,” he said, grinning. “Don’t scare them too badly or anything if you find them. I’d hate to look bad in front of the goblin king.”

Acorn laughed, and then wandered further down the path into the forest, leaving Graham holding a surprisingly heavy hammer and Alexander shivering with wary uncertainty.

“Would you like to go into town with me?” Graham asked. “If you want to go back to the castle, we can do that too, and then I’ll go on to the town myself.”

“Do you...do you think I’m really...the cause of something?” Alexander asked, his voice hardly audible.

Graham was going to flippantly answer, but the look on his son’s face drew him up short. He put the hammer down—stars it was heavy, what did Amaya want it for—and stood beside Alexander. The cold wind had picked up again, and the threat of a storm was blowing in from the west (always from the west these days, so odd, when winter storms normally blew from the north over the mountains). They drew closer together as a screen from the chill.

“Truly, I don’t think it’s anything you did,” Graham said, after a pause. “I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or unwanted. Daventry has a long and unsettling history with the goblin kingdom, and we were thinking of that more than anything else.”

“Unsettling history?” Alexander asked. He still looked nervy, a deer startled and ready to run, but that eternal curiosity about everything, so delightful in the Cracker family, was roused.

“It’s...you might not want to hear it,” Graham said, uneasy as he looked ahead to where this conversation might go. “It’s a story about goblins...kidnapping all the villagers. And me. They took me. I don’t...it might...” It might trigger your own memories, were the unspoken words. It might ruin everything, to hear this story.

But Alexander perked his head up, looked toward his father with surprise. And maybe some respect. “What happened? Did you...escape? By yourself?”

“Not completely by myself,” Graham said. “I had help from the villagers. But, yes, we rescued ourselves.”

“I had to rescue myself, alone,” Alexander whispered, so softly Graham wondered if he had been meant to hear it or not. It was the first time Alexander had voluntarily offered any detail regarding what had happened to him. “I...” his voice faded to nothing, and then, in almost a normal volume, like he was trying to force himself to speak, “Would you tell me what happened? If...if you’re okay with that.”

With a kind smile, Graham said, “Yes, I can tell you what happened. Would you like to walk back to town with me while I do? We’ll keep a bit warmer if we move. It was a summer evening, then, but the rain was endless. You’ll get a sense for how monsoon season is in July.” And he unraveled the story about what had happened to him just a few short months after he’d been crowned. How he’d been ambushed by goblins, hauled underground, locked away, and what had happened next.

They hadn’t gotten far into the story by the time they reached the town. Graham had told this tale many times, and it always seemed to get a bit longer with each telling. Real life details fuzzed into something with more defined story structure, tugging wrinkles into out into a proper narrative’s smoothness, with highs and lows that seemed effortless to tell. Privately, though, he knew the raw edge of fear occasionally jangled and caught him off guard at unexpected moments, especially on certain lightning-struck nights when he was feeling tired and edgy. Sort of like catching his arm on a jagged nail in the dark.

But now, in the weak sunlight and the sparkling snow and the crisp air, it was light and easy to tell. He was just explaining about the cure-all potion he would need to restore Bramble’s fading health when they walked through the town gates and found Bramble herself shoveling snow off her front step.

“Ahh, Majesties,” she chirped, sweeping low into a bow, shovel held at attention and dripping slush back onto her stoop. “Lovely day for the moment, though I think you should go inside if that storm keeps heading our way.” She thumbed meaningfully at the clouds racing toward them, chasing the last scraps of sunlight away. “Always a joy to see you in town. Anything in particular you’re up to?”

“Bramble, you haven’t noticed anything strange lately, have you?” Graham asked, ignoring pleasantries.

She hesitated, a little put off by his haste. She wrapped her gloved fingers in her snow-crusted apron strings, considering. “Noticed anything? Acorn went off in a huff this morning, but I’m afraid he’s often in a huff in the mornings. Rather a knight owl. But...no, I can’t say that I’ve noticed anything strange, no more particularly than usual. Is there something I ought to be watching for?”

Graham glanced at the roof—goblins had crowded it once, pounced him flat. It was empty now, except for the snow. It was building up pretty high. He wondered if he should order the royal guards down to help clear the rooftops. It wouldn’t do anyone any good for the shingles to crack under the strain, especially when winter was only getting started. With more snow on the way some of these older structures might warrant a little extra care this year.

He couldn’t dance around the issue. “Bramble, I’m afraid there might be an upsurge in goblin activity.”

She clapped her hand over her mouth, abandoned shovel falling into a snow-covered shrubbery. Of all the villagers, she had been most affected by what had happened, had been very pregnant and very sick for most of her captivity. “You can’t be serious, Majesty.”

“I’m not entirely sure yet, but I have some pretty solid suspicions. I don’t think they’ll do anything. The treaties are still being upheld as far as I know, and Manny is...apparently indisposed.” He glanced at Alexander, who gave an almost imperceptible nod, although he was playing with his scarf uneasily, too. “I don’t want to cause alarm. I only want everyone to be a little careful. Maybe don’t walk through the forests alone right now, not until we straighten this out.”

“Of course. Did you tell everyone else?”

“Acorn knows, but I haven’t seen anyone else yet. I’m being proactive. They hurt the town first, last time.” He looked at the worry cracking her normally sunny features and smiled warmly, reaching out and taking her hands. “It isn’t something to worry too much about, yet. They like causing mayhem, remember? Stealing scarves seems like just the sort of trouble they would love. I would recommend caution, of course, but don’t panic. We’ll take care of it before it gets dangerous.”

Relief softened her face. “Come inside, then, lad, let’s get you warmed up. King Graham, something hot to drink?”

“You know you don’t have to call me king,” he said, gently, for the thousandth time.

“I know, Majesty. Still. Cocoa?”

“Let me get this to Amaya first,” he said, hoisting the hammer in his hand to show it off, almost losing his balance as he misjudged its weight. “I’ll stop by after.”

Alexander made to follow Graham, but Graham gently shooed him toward the bakery with Bramble. Overhead, the garlands the villagers had used to decorate the town for the season swayed in the increasing wind.

Amaya’s shop always smelled of hot metal and oil, a tangy greasy feeling in the air that felt like sparks were going to crackle off his arms. Graham rapped his knuckles against the counter’s scraped and battered wood until Amaya shouted from her workroom, “In a minute, hold on to your crown!”

Bemused, he leaned back on his elbows, examining the array of weapons nailed to the walls. She eventually came out a side door, wiping her hands on a rag tucked into her skirt. “How’d you know it was me?” he asked.

“No one else knocks that pattern. Sounds like a song, the way you do it. Ridiculous, dreamy. Like a dopey lullaby. What’s up?”

“Got your hammer.” He dropped it onto the counter with a thump. He winced, having added yet another dent to the rest, but Amaya scooped it up as though it weighed nothing. “Acorn said you needed it back quick. What are you working on?”

“Something for Rosella,” Amaya said.

“Um. Something I should know about?” He still remembered the flaming poisoning raging sword of doom fiasco.

“New game board. Faster version of the home game Battle of Wits—the arrows hurt if they hit the players, ha! Adds some extra tension to rounds. Gotta hammer the board together, and the weight on this hammer in particular is perfect. Wanted to get it to her today if I could. I think she plans on teaching her brother how to play. Speaking of, he here?” She had pulled out said game while talking, hammering the top pieces with wild, ear-ringing abandon.

Graham flinched back from the clanging blows. “He’s with the Feys.”

“That hot chocolate’s gonna fatten him up. Good. Kid needs it.”

“There was something else, Amaya,” Graham said, trying to get a word in edgewise as she delivered a series of ringing whacks to the pieces.

“Has to do with Acorn, I bet. He was in a temper this morning. I mean, he’s always in a temper in the mornings. But he’s usually good at calming down. That bull training or whatever. Not this morning.” Amaya put down the hammer and looked expectant.

“I’m worried the goblins are stirring up trouble again,” he said.

“Ah.” She crossed her arms. “And what does that mean, exactly?”

“I have reason to believe they were in town,” he said, glancing at the shop windows—crusted with snow, hard to see through. Unless you were pressed right against it you wouldn’t see anyone outside. “They stole Acorn’s winter stock. All his scarves and gloves and socks.”

“That might explain why my order of icepicks and chisels has inexplicably gone walking.”

“They’re not arming themselves, do you think?” Graham asked. He could remember spearheads jabbed against his shoulders, could remember the wooden handles slamming against the back of his knees to bring him to their level before they yanked the ropes around his wrists.

“With a chisel? Unless they’re carving some lovely ice swans and bringing them to life with some black magic to attack us, I doubt it. The picks, maybe, but they’ve still got their spears as far as I know, so they don’t need my stuff. This might just be petty thievery. They like that. I never did get my bed back.”

“You didn’t want it back. I did offer to ask.”

“Not worth the effort.” Or the memories. “Still. I’ll keep an eye out. We started barring the gates again this year—this winter is colder, have you noticed? It's driving the wedzels into town, looking for warmer hearths to sleep against. If I catch one by my forge there will be hell to pay. But we’ll be more diligent. I’m not sure if the gates were closed last night or not. I assume I can expect a visit from Number One about patrol schedules?”

“As always. Number One likes to keep you involved.”

“Whisper thinks he’s flirting with me.”

“Whisper thinks everyone’s flirting with you.”

Amaya scowled. “Ridiculous. Still. We’ll be watchful. We’ve dealt with this before, and we’ll take care of it now. Don’t worry, Graham.”

“I’m supposed to be telling you not to worry, not the other way around,” Graham said.

Amaya laughed, handed Graham the completed board game (which weighed considerably more than the hammer had) and pushed him out the door. The light had a distinct gray quality to it, now, the clouds pushing into place. After the forge-warmed shop, the incoming storm’s biting chill nipped Graham’s cheeks, and he shrugged deeper into his cowl, shifting it up around his ears while trying not to lose his grip on Rosella’s order. It would be best to head back to the castle now, to get the royal guards involved, before the storm hit. The villagers would warn each other about the possible threat, and Number One and the other guards would soon have the place safely under patrol.

Wente and Bramble were crammed around a table with Alexander when Graham pushed through the door. A couple of early snowflakes also entered with him, though they melted the moment they hit the hot air. Everything tasted like cinnamon and sugar dust, and Wente had lit a large number of candles to keep the darkness at bay.

“It’s not at all like it was under Edward,” Wente was saying cheerfully, dunking a cookie in hot chocolate and getting crumbs all over the tabletop. “Your father is really doing some delightful expansion work. Used to be we’d lose half the lavender crop to rain. The irrigation system he implemented? That alone has done wonders for Daventry.”

“Oh, King Graham, let me get you a cup of something,” Bramble said, pushing to her feet. “Cider? Cocoa? Something a bit stronger? Your nose is five shades redder than usual.”

“The storm is on its way,” Graham said, shifting the board game but looking longingly at the sweet cider tap.

“Yes, but Daventry Castle is no more than ten minutes up the road. Come on, sit. We’ll get you warmed up before you head out. No goblins will want to move in weather like this, so don’t worry about raising alarm yet.”

“They’re armed with winter caps now, though,” Graham said, trying to spin it into a joke. “I’ve seen them in grass skirts—I'll bet they look ridiculous in scarves.”

“Wrapped around their helmets!” Wente accidentally dropped the last of his cookie in his cup and his mustache drooped as he looked forlornly at the soggy remnants.

“Mistletoe on their spears,” Bramble said.

“Wearing bright green gloves,” Alexander offered, quiet, with what might have been the trace of a smile.

They didn’t stay long—the storm truly was impending, and it made Graham anxious to get back home, but they stayed long enough to drain their mugs, to tell some awful jokes about snowmen, and to speculate about what the goblins might actually be up to. Nothing at all was decided, other than perhaps they’d sensed the oncoming worse winter and had decided to prepare in the only way they knew how: thievery.

By the end of their brief ten-minute chat, Bramble didn’t seem nearly as frightened as she had before, and Wente remembered he had a cupcake he wanted to send up with Graham for Royal Guard Number Two’s birthday (it smelled a little bit like syrup). Alexander had to carry the little paper box, as Graham was still struggling with the board game. He wouldn’t tell Alexander what it was, sure Rosella meant it to be a surprise, and mumbled something about it being for dull castle business.

Acorn stomped in right before the royalty left, shaking snowflakes from his cloak and demanding a frosted bear claw—Alexander looked horrified and confused before Wente handed over a specific type of pastry. He told Graham that the royal guards knew about the goblins now. Acorn had run into Numbers One and Two making a loose patrol loop through the forest, and No1 wanted to see him as soon as possible to confirm their strategy.

“Absolutely, on the way,” Graham said, and waved farewell to his friends and his citizens. Bramble and Wente both gave Alexander warm goodbyes, Wente offering a huge goodbye hug and Alexander gently refusing (although he openly smiled when he refused, definitely the first true smile Graham had seen). Acorn sprayed crumbs everywhere but still managed to cough out a dry “see ya,” and then the king and the prince walked back toward the castle, glowing with the contentment of companionship.

#we establishin' some plot points now before getting into more character study n all #were this in the actual game the trading game would last much longer but for sake of pacing we're cutting it to two items #King's Quest #kings quest #King Graham #alexander (king's quest)#Acorn (King's Quest)#amaya blackstone #wente fey #bramble fey #ch4 #fic'ing #what do you mean we can see a king solving people's actual problems like an actual king surely that's not allowed #I'm thiiiiinking we might post on Mondays from now on and do drawn Gerbils on Thursday from here out like usual but I'm low on pictures lol

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xesotericconundrumx · 3 years

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Episode 100: The Woods

CONTENT WARNING: Suicide, Loneliness, Abandonment, Death

This is a story about an escape and a story about a girl. This is a story about desolation in loneliness.

There is a back road highway. One road heads north and the other south; and it goes on for miles and miles. And the highway like others is littered with billboards, and agendas far from holy. They scream out with words like “repent or find hell, confess and be saved, perish in the flames, god, he’ll get ya, he’s always watching.” They tower in a never ending sea of tall grass and road. It feels like they are the only thing to look at until they become less and less frequent. Suddenly those billboards are traded for houses hidden among rolling hills of green and gold. In the mornings the warm golden hue of the sun drenches the grass waves. The same sun blinds drivers as they move down those one way streets. The hills begin far off until suddenly they are surrounding the road. The rocks are jagged and looming with each curve of the road and they only seem to become more threatening when the sun sets. But during the day the sun illuminates driveways and houses, turns and white lines. Some houses are flat on the ground, surrounded by broken trees, and run down barns. Some houses sit on the edge of the hills, and seem as if they’re floating, but also as if one strong wind could collapse the foundation. Everyone is a neighbor, they all know each other and they know that there are things you simply avoid. Most do. The town keeps to itself, people drive through without a second thought, it’s so easy. Press on forward and its another town and other and other until the city skyline peeks over the once fascinating hills. But in that town everyone knows what to avoid.

There is a sign that reads “ROAD ENDS”. The white fence that was supposed to keep trespassers out did little more than offer a reminder that the property was private, other than that it was easy to jump the decrepit fence. The road was worn in, tire tracks were imprinted in the dirt, all the same. A curve as people turned confused by where the GPS was taking them. There were legends about what was just beyond the fence, the house that stood there, the land it was on. Some talked about a witch, some talked about families who never stayed more than a year because something wasn’t right. And some said it was simply abandoned. It was an easy way to scare children so they wouldn’t sneak out at night. It wasn’t the house that bothered many, it was what lay beyond. Nobody talked about what was beyond that house. Just past the fence and passed the house was the edge of untrailed land. Walk a little further and the trees became dense and light scarce. In the day time it wasn’t too ominous, you could see pretty far in. At dusk it was normal to see kids with false bravery lingering just around the house. But after dark everyone simply agreed that you just never walked near that property, that you never stepped beyond that fence, that you never entered the doorway or that you never let yourself get too close to those trees. Any sound that came from over there was nothing but a trick of the mind, an explained noise from the neighbors, the tv, the radio anything but that area. So when the neighbors watched her leave the house sobbing, watched as the door slammed shut behind her and watched as drove to the fence and get out they did their neighborly duties, albit half-heartedly.

“It’s getting dark, should be heading home.” “Get out of here.” And then nothing. The silence was the worst. She looked behind her, and no one came to her, all alone and the sun slowly burning out. She should have left. But after everything that happened; the disappointment she turned out to be, the mess up, the angry little girl she was then, the broken woman she was now, childish fears were nothing against the unrelenting desolation of adult terror. Looking up the sky was velvet blue, the stars soft and voyerstic. She blinked back more tears and felt a numbness wash over her. What did it matter anyways? Knowing her answer was far more devastating than she’d like to think about. She climbed over the fence. The tall grass scratched against her legs and she waded in that sea of green until she passed the house, empty, another disappointment. She took in the abandoned house, the broken windows and the porach that looked like one step would have done it. It was just an old house. It was just abandoned. There wasn’t anything scary or haunted about it. The town was scared of something that didn’t exist and it was pointless in the grand scheme of it all. So she pressed on. Walking a little further she stopped at the edge of the woods. For one moment she looked behind her, that house looming in the background with nothing special about it. It still became a legend. For one small moment she thought about going back but she moved forward. It was stupid to walk in the woods alone and even worse to walk alone at night but part of her didn’t care. She wanted to rot among the trees, lay on the ground and simply sink into the cool, unremarkable dirt. Fingers brushed along the trunks of trees. She just kept walking. The air was utterly still, suffocating. Her boots pressed into the wet earth and she was sure that if she did indeed turn around her footprints would leave her back to the opening. The moon was high in the sky, her only light source in the woods and the only reason she saw the path.

There was a clearing, treaded out too evenly to be made by anything but people. Looking back for only a moment she made the small step forward to follow this new path. She walked for about a mile until she reached an end. Standing in the middle of the forest was a church. It was once white but the wood was chipped and gone in various places, sun faded and decaying.. The roof was brown and had a hole at the very top, rotting wood its defining feature. She approached with reckless footsteps and hesitant twitching fingers. Her faith was nonexistent but there was a calmness that immediately fell upon her.

Growing up she was warned about sounds in the woods, not always being what they seemed. She was warned about staircases that went nowhere and she was warned about how your eyes would play tricks on you. But it was always empty churches that people begged you to never step foot in, something about the soullessness and the godless creatures that lived in them. She never believed in those stories, nor did she ever think it was something she would ever have to deal with. But those were stories to keep children out of the woods, out of places where they didn’t belong. She wasn’t scared of the woods, she wasn’t scared of the horrors that filled ghost stories. So she walked. As she approached the door the handle was the most intantact thing about the outside. Pulling the handle the door creaked open. The inside looked untouched, pews made of wood and the altar undisturbed. Looking at the bowls of water she noticed how still it was. Even with the soft wind now pushing her through the door the water remained heavy and unmoving. There was no reflection to see just murky water, unholy and unnerving. As she walked the floorboards moaned with agony, they filled the walls making the empty church loud. No matter how delicately she walked she could not escape that noise. Fingers danced along the pews, smooth and still glossy. Her eyes glanced around until they came upon a figure shrouded by shadow, mumbling prayers under their breath. Her brow furrowed, had they been there when she entered, was this church still in use? Confused. Rules of abandoned churches, the stories from so long ago ran through her head, something about not approaching a person praying but she didn’t care about those rules. They held no merit. She started walking but stopped. She felt a hand on the back of her neck, hot breath making arms shake. She wanted to turn around but every fiber in her being told her not to. Her heart started to race ever so slightly.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw something move, she blinked. It was nothing. Just her eyes playing tricks on her. Her hand touched her pocket, her lighter wouldn’t be much help but it would be something. However looking around she realized one wrong move and her small lighter could set the whole thing on fire. Focusing back on the front of the church the figure was gone. The sound of prayers replaced by the sound of an organ, soft and faint. The girl moved and sat down in one of the pews. Her eyes filled with tears, warm and filled with self pity they fell down her face. She reached up fingers brushing away the unexpected sadness. Reaching out for the hymnal she thought maybe the words would help her focus but she noticed the words were all wrong, she couldn’t figure out the language, just words on a page with no meaning to her. Knuckles cracking she moved her hands back to her lap.

What was she doing here? Running away from her problems again. Again. It’s what she always did. Avoided her problems, but it was so much easier then having to deal with every single fear that resided in her. And what if those problems could go away? What if she could go away. Disappear into nothingness, fade slowly into a memory, rearrange into something that was more pleasant then the real thing. They would be so much happier that way, constructing her into what they wanted her to be. Her hands dropped to the pews clenching the edge shaking with possibility. Thoughts raced through her head. And then it hit her. Maybe she could abandon them. Finally people would stop leaving her and she could show them how it felt. HOw the feeling of loneliness slowly suffocated her. How every bit of her anger and sadness stemmed from those she trusted leaving her, they would know it. They would know how much it destroyed her and they would finally understand….

But…

No….

How could she

Could...No.

“And why not?” Her head jerked up at the sound of a voice, soft and familiar. Now she was hearing voices, it must have been the wind, the trees rustling making a noise that sounded like words, of course that’s what it was. Their was no one here….

The figure.

Looking up she half expected to see that figure again, but their was nothing. So her eyes were playing tricks on her and now she was hearing things. It was time to go. She didn’t want to stay out here really, she just needed to figure out her head. Moving out of the pew her head turned towards the sanctuary and she caught a glimpse of a figure again. Were they always there? Who was it. Walking over she was careful not to make noise as to not startle them.

“You could do it.”

The breath was knocked out of her and she stopped in her tracks. It was just in her head, that’s what it was. She was tired and distraught and that was all this was.

“You could do it and then we’d be together again, you’d never have to be alone. I hate to see you this way.” The voice sounded like a memory, different parts of moments that were so long ago. “What?” She asked quietly.

The voice sounded as if they smiled. “We’d be happy here. I’d be happy here with you. Wouldn’t you like that?”

She was about to answer when another voice spoke up. “I would never leave you again, I can finally make that promise”

“Come up to the sanctuary, if you come here it’ll all be better. The figure she saw earlier was now two, standing at that sanctuary, arms opening wide, hands beckoning her to move close and close.

All would be better. Would it all be better? How could they promise that, these voices she was so sure were in her head. But were they? Would she really tell herself these things? She paused, her feet stuck to the ground unsure of her own thoughts. Her chest rose and fell with quicking breath as she tried to rationalize what was going on. All would be better, all would be better if she just went away wouldn’t it. How tempting. She hated that it felt like a good idea, hated that she was letting it cross her mind. But after everything maybe all she wanted was to close her eyes and let it all go. She stood there, hand trembling at her side, maybe it was a good idea.

She looked up and brown eyes filled with unwanted tears and with quick blinks fell down dirty cheeks. Her lip quivered with the loss of words; everything she wanted to say stuck in her throat. She stood there in utter silence. The moon filled the room with a silver light and the softer of the two voices called out to her again. The voice was nearly serene like an ocean pulling against the sand, hypnotic and beckoning. With gentle footsteps she walked towards the shadow, the floorboard creaking under her footsteps. “Come with me.” the voice echoed around her, “You don’t have to worry about those feelings again. Not with me. If you just take my hand you won’t have to be alone and everything will be fine. We’ll just leave it all behind, no reason to let it weigh you down any longer. Remember how it was, it could be like that again.” Her hand reached out and she nodded. Maybe she did want this. She wanted to forget it all, leave it behind her, leave them all behind her.

“Up to the sanctuary you’re almost there. Don’t be nervous, it’s almost over. Look at me, nearly there. You don’t have to be scared. I will make sure it’s all better.” Even as the tears fell her lips turned into a small smile, she was filled with something else, her head danced with memories, happiness. It felt so real, so maybe it was. Maybe she just had to take these last steps and she’d leave it all behind. The floor creaked again as she moved closer.

The tears started to fall quickly now, her face stained and shaking breath turned into heaving. She stopped. After everything, after she had been through, after all they had been through she was just going to abandon them like everyone else….Her head started to turn. But what if? What if she made it worse, what if she went to that sanctuary and she tainted everything. They would resent her even more. They would blame her and then it would be all the worse, wouldn’t it. She could maybe do something else…. Her thoughts were interrupted.

“Don’t look back.” The voice almost snapped. She stumbled slightly. “Just keep coming this way. You’re almost there. Just a little bit more...” The soft whisper turned into something less than serene. Her hands dropped and she looked at the sanctuary, the moonlight shifting ever so slightly. Her head tilted. All the warmth from that moment suddenly left and she was standing in the cold, a rush of wind racing past her. Her eyes moved and caught sight of the rotting wood of the pews, was that always like that? The stained glass cracked, sharp edges of the colourful glass caked with something other than dirt. “Keep going.” The soft voice commanded. She turned towards the shadows, eyes widening with fear. “Don’t throw this away. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine, you’ll be happy again, you won’t have to worry about being outshined here. You’ll be the brightest, you’ll be loved. Don’t you want to be loved? Don't you want someone to always be there for you, don’t you want that, don’t you want to be more than this. Here you can be, here you can be my everything....”

The shadows started to surround her and whatever she felt before was replaced with a cold feeling. She looked back up at the sanctuary, the moonlight revealing the decaying nightmare. The walls peeling and the carpets stained with blood. The altar that once stood in the middle was now a crumbling mess of forgotten prayers, unheard confessions, it was sinking into the ground, the weight of sins dragging it to hell slowly and cruelly. Shaking her head she took a step back “It’s almost over….”

“Don’t be scared….”

Come on. You can have what you want....”

“Stay here. Come with me.” Her steps became faster and she started to turn around and she heard a sigh which made her stop. “Don’t make us….” The voice was apathetic now all the love and warmth that had been so carefully constructed fell into the truth. “No.” She mumbled. And then there was a sigh, “Aright.” She turned quickly. “You really are the stupid one aren’t you.”

Suddenly a hand gripped her throat and made her fall to her knees the creature squeezed slowly, fingers digging into her skin. She clawed against the arm, tears falling down her face as she tried to gasp for air but it was unrelenting. The other, the one who spoke so sweetly, loomed over as if it was waiting for it’s turn. “A disappointment. Down to your last breath you were never anything but disappointing.” Breaking from the grasp she inhaled as big a breath she could, coughing, gasping until one that loomed pushed her back down. Twisting on the floor she clawed against the rotting wood, begging to be let go of. “Why? Why did you have to look back?” The voice was exasperated. Her own anguished pleads filled the chapel and yet it was like they heard nothing. “What are you talking about?” Please just let me go back.”

The other made its way back to her, looming over her. All of her failures echoed, the sound filling the impossibly high ceilings. Every insecurity, every little thing made her feel broken. “What do you think is waiting for you back there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. One by one they are going to find a reason to just leave. And you still want to endure that.” The creature reached down and stroked her hair, it was cold as if mimicking affection. “You really want to make them realize their mistakes. You know what to do. They’ll live with regret for the rest of their lives, they’ll wonder what they could have done to make it better, what they did wrong. And you can remind of each one of their transgressions, every single one, you never have to let them forget it. Come one. Why are you scared? Do it!” The sinister desperation was clear. “You know exactly what you need to do.” The other scoffed and let go. “It’s so sweet that you think she’ll be anything but a footnote in their stories. They’ve hurt you once and after a while you’ll simply just be an afterthought. They’ll abandon you one by one and it’ll be even worse. You’re fucked either way. Why not make it easier.” She sobbed under the weight of her fear, “Why does it matter?” They both spoke at once. Someone how she twisted herself out of the grasp and scrambled backwards, hands inches away from the sanctuary. “No.” She repeated. “You aren’t….” A laugh escaped the crueler of the two. “Aren’t what? We aren’t what? Tell us. Nobody cares what you think but go ahead and pretend we care.” Again her words were stuck in her throat. She turned and faced the decrepit sanctuary again. The moon shown high, it’s beams revealing the horrors. She sat there unable to move and she shook her head. The fearsome shadows spiny fingers ghosted against her throat again. “No surprises there.” The other was soft again. “It’s better this way.” She looked up at empty walls and nodded. “It is.” Her focus was unmoving, staring up at her way out. Staring at her way to let it all go. And how easy it would be to simply end it there, to close her book and never finish the chapter.

“I know who you are.” The creatures hummed in curiosity. “Do you now. Do you know who we are, if you do then what’s stopping you.” The girl furrowed her brow and shook her head. “Because I’m not you.” She finally looked up and stared at the shadows directly. “I’ll never understand you. But I never knew you, so how could I. I blame you for a lot. And part of me knows you can’t help it. But part of me will just never understand . And if I keep trying to well what does it matter.” The air was thick, the moonlight shifting again. She was silent for a moment. “So fuck you.” She mumbled softly. “Fuck you both. Fuck you.”

She stood up. She stepped forward away from that wretched ending. Hot tears welled in her eyes, she shook her head. “I’m scared.” Her voice cracked, “and I’m tired. And I don’t care what you want from me. You don’t get a say in anything I do anymore. You get to watch me be a disappointment. You get to watch me fuck up everything. I want you to know just how much you play apart in every single one of those fuck up because they truly start with you.” The creatures stood up, their full height, menacing. “Oh really.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I know who you are and I’m not you. I’ll never be anything you want me to be again.”

Reaching into her pocket she pulled out her lighter. She played with it for a moment. “If I burn...so will you…” Eyes that were trained towards the ground finally looked up and she realized what horror she was dealing with. But she knew if they were anything else then what she saw getting out of her would be futile and she would be stuck in this hell, slowly turn into whatever was before her. Those weren’t the memories she wanted, She had to burn them away.

With a flick of her lighter she set the hymnal on fire and placed it in the pew. The silver moonlight and the golden flames reflected against her eyes. She backed away and climbed out of one of the broken windows, the glass scratching her skin. She walked over to the front of the church and looked at the two figures again. They were unfazed by the flames as the rotting church roared with the blaze. As the fire consumed the building they stood there, those creatures of her fears and failures and as the fire lit their faces she recognized them. The faces staring at her with such contempt and sorrow.. They would never leave her, never burn or get better. They would simply be there. She stared, tears falling down her eyes. The more sorrowful one of the two offered their hand, fingers too long for any human, it beckoned wordlessly. She was sure it was a trick of the flames, how the creature with the outstretched palm almost felt warm, a calling or beckoning type of warmth. The other spoke. “Why would you want to go back, back to a place where you are nothing but the dark side of the moon. No one to ever see, overshadowed by sun and stars, craters and meteors. You are cold and alone, desolate and not to be admired. Nobody cares. You are fools gold among diamonds, worthless and nothing to show for. Among them you are simply a nuisance, a frustration. You don’t bring them anything special, anything that would be noteworthy. Just another problem. You’ve always been a problem and will always be a problem.”

The girl nodded. “Yeah... .”

The creature was right. Right?

“I was? I wasn’t always.” She mumbled. “I could have been something.” The heat of the flames distracted her for a moment. “But what does it matter? It's not like either of you were there to fix that problem.” She smiled, the small sound of laughter finally bellowing around. The laugh grew louder until it echoed around her. “But if I stay then what is…” Her voice trailed off. “No. No. No more what ifs. Just this.” The flames continued to roar and she stood there letting the church be consumed by the flames. And when the smoke rose and the flames died out she finally exhaled. The moonlight dimmed and a cool blue tone took over the midnight sky. Dawn was coming. She turned on her heel and started walking away. She walked towards the forest and the trees became more dense she didn’t really know how to get back she was just walking. Her eyes became heavy though and she grew more and more tired with each step until she finally fell exhausted. Looking up the sky was turning pink and orange, Sunrise. She liked sunrise and something about this one was all the more brilliant. As the sun got higher and higher her eyes closed and she smiled.

#( && eliora jackson && )

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greatvanheflinkennethtobeypie · 3 years

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Hi @latimes @latimesmobile-blog,

Listen To The Breaking News and Top Stories!!

This is The Whole Untold Story Of The Great Actor Kenneth Tobey:

Early years

Kenneth Jesse Tobey was born in 1917 in Oakland, California. According to the United States Census of 1930 for Oakland,13-year-old "Kenneth J." was the eldest of three sons of Jesse V. Tobey and his wife Frances H. Tobey. That census also documents that Tobey's father was an automobile-tire salesman and that young Kenneth was of Irish and Russian ancestry. His paternal grandmother's parents were both natives of the "Ireland Free State", and his mother's parents were born in Russia, although they apparently had immigrated to South America, where Frances Tobey had been born and where in her youth the preferred language spoken in her family's household—again documented in the census—was Spanish. Following his graduation from high school in 1935, Kenneth was headed for a career in law when he first dabbled in acting at the University of California Little Theater. That stage experience led to a drama scholarship, a year-and-a-half of study at New York's Neighborhood Playhouse, where his classmates included fellow University of California at Berkeley alumni Gregory Peck, Eli Wallach, and Tony Randall.

During World War II, Tobey joined the United States Army Air Forces, serving in the Pacific as a rear gunner aboard a B-25 bomber. Throughout the 1940s, with the exception of his time in military service, Tobey acted on Broadway and in summer stock. After appearing in a 1943 film short, The Man of the Ferry, he made his Hollywood film debut in the 1947 Hopalong Cassidy western Dangerous Venture. He then went on to appear in scores of features and on numerous television series. In the 1949 film Twelve O' Clock High, he is the negligent airbase sentry who is dressed down by General Frank Savage (played by Gregory Peck). That same year Tobey performed in a brief comedy bit in another film, I Was a Male War Bride. His performance in that minor part caught the attention of director Howard Hawks, who promised to use the thirty-two-year-old actor in something more substantial.

The Thing from Another World

In 1951, Tobey was cast in Howard Hawks' production The Thing from Another World. In this classic sci-fi film he portrays Captain Patrick Hendry, a United States Air Force pilot, who at the North Pole leads a scientific outpost's dogged defense against an alien portrayed by James Arness, later the star of the television series Gunsmoke. Tobey's performance in Hawks' film garnered the actor other parts in science fiction movies in the 1950s, usually reprising his role as a military officer, such as in The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953) and It Came from Beneath the Sea (1956).

Television

Tobey appeared in the 1952 episode "Counterfeit Plates" on the CBS series Biff Baker, U.S.A., an espionage drama starring Alan Hale, Jr. He was cast too in the 1954-1955 CBS legal drama The Public Defender, starring Reed Hadley. He guest-starred in three episodes of NBC's western anthology series Frontier. His Frontier roles were as Wade Trippe in "In Nebraska" (1955) and then as Gabe Sharp in "Out from Texas" and "The Hostage" (1956). In 1955, he also portrayed legendary frontiersman Jim Bowie on ABC's Davy Crockett, a Walt Disney production, with Fess Parker in the title role. After Bowie's death in the series at the Battle of the Alamo, Tobey played a second character, Jocko, in the two final episodes of Davy Crockett.

Tobey then, in 1957, appeared in the syndicated religion anthology series Crossroads in the role of Mr. Alston in the episode "Call for Help" and as Jim Callahan in "Bandit Chief" in the syndicated western series The Sheriff of Cochise. Later that same year, Tobey starred in the television series The Whirlybirds, a successful CBS and then-syndicated adventure produced by Desilu Studios. In it he played the co-owner of a helicopter charter service, along with fellow actor Craig Hill. The Whirlybirds was a major hit in the United States and abroad, with 111 episodes filmed through 1960. It remained in syndication worldwide for many years.

In 1958, Tobey also appeared as John Wallach in the episode "$50 for a Dead Man" in Jeff Richards's NBC western series Jefferson Drum. In 1960, he guest-starred in the episode "West of Boston" of another NBC western series, Overland Trail, starring William Bendix and Doug McClure. He performed as well in the ABC western series The Rebel, starring Nick Adams. Tobey made three guest appearances on Perry Mason, twice in 1960 and once in 1962 as Jack Alvin, a deputy district attorney. On the long-running western series Gunsmoke, he portrayed a cruel, knife-wielding buffalo hunter, Ben Spadden, in the 1960 episode titled "The Worm". Tobey in 1962 also guest-starred on another western series, Lawman, playing the character Duncan Clooney, an engineer who seeks to move a shipment of nitroglycerin through Laramie, Wyoming. When the town is evacuated to allow passage of the explosives, two of Clooney's employees decide they will take advantage of the situation to rob the bank.

Tobey guest-starred as well in Jack Lord's 1962-1963 ABC adventure series about a rodeo circuit rider, Stoney Burke. In 1967 he performed on the series Lassie, in the episode "Lure of the Wild", playing a retired forest ranger who tames a local coyote. He also appeared as a slave owner named Taggart in "The Wolf Man", a 1967 episode of Daniel Boone, starring Fess Parker. A few of the many other series in which Tobey later performed include Adam-12 (1969), Gibbsville (1976), MV Klickitat (1978), Emergency! (1975), and Night Court (1985).

He became a semi-regular on the NBC series I Spy as the field boss of agents Robinson and Scott. Christian Nyby, director of The Thing From Another World, often directed those episodes. Tobey also portrayed a ship's captain on the Rockford Files, in an episode titled "There's One in Every Port".

Other films

In 1957, Tobey portrayed a sheriff in The Vampire (a film that some sources today often confuse with the 1935 production Mark of the Vampire). That year he also appeared in a more prestigious film, serving as a featured supporting character with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, the co-stars of John Ford's The Wings of Eagles. In that film, Tobey—with his naturally red hair on display in vibrant Metrocolor—portrays a highly competitive United States Army Air Service officer. In one memorable scene he has the distinction of shoving a piece of gooey cake into the face of John Wayne, whose character is a rival United States Navy aviation officer. Not surprisingly, a room-wrecking brawl ensues.

Tobey's work over the next several decades was increasingly involved in television productions. He did, though, continue to perform in a range of feature films, such as Stark Fear, Marlowe, Billy Jack, Walking Tall, The Howling, the war movie MacArthur (in which he portrays Admiral "Bull" Halsey), Airplane!, Gremlins, Big Top Pee-wee, and Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

Broadway

Although Tobey had a busy acting career in films and on television, he also periodically returned to the stage. In 1964 he began a long run on Broadway opposite Sammy Davis, Jr., in the musical version of Clifford Odets' play Golden Boy. Some of his other Broadway credits are As You Like It, Sunny River, Janie, Sons and Soldiers, A New Life, Suds in Your Eye, The Cherry Orchard, and Truckline Cafe.

Later years

As his long career drew to a close, Tobey still received acting jobs from people who had grown up watching his performances in sci-fi films of the 1950s, particularly Joe Dante, who included the veteran actor in his stock company of reliable players. Two appearances on the sitcom Night Court came the same way, through fans of his work. Along with other character actors who had been in 1950s sci-fi and horror films (John Agar, Robert O. Cornthwaite, Gloria Talbott, etc.), Tobey starred in a spoof originally titled Attack Of The B Movie Monster. In 2005, Anthem Pictures released the completed feature version of this spoof on DVD under the new title The Naked Monster. Tobey's scenes in that release were actually shot in 1985, so The Naked Monster is technically his final film credit, being released three years after his death. He had, however, continued to act throughout most of the 1990s. One of those notable roles is his performance in the 1994 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Shadowplay" as Rurigan, an alien who recreates his dead friends as holograms. Among other examples of Tobey's final decade of work are his two appearances as Judge Kent Watson on the series L.A. Law.

In 2002, Tobey died of natural causes at age 85 in Rancho Mirage, California.

#LA Times #LA Times Breaking News #LA Times Top Stories #Kenneth Tobey

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dakotacrisis · 4 years

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The Stars Need a Tale

Since 2021 wants to be a jerk not even a week in I’m dropping this now.

A Lukadrien Pirate AU that has very strong Pirates of the Caribbean vibes in the first chapter. I did not realize how similar it was until I already finished it. I have been sitting on this WIP forever and now feels like a good time to post it.

Read on AO3

---

Give me a shilling and I’ll give you a song

My cup’s in need of filling and the night is long

I do not know where we’ll sail

I do not know where we’ll roam

But the stars need a tale

And I will sing one for foam

“Boy!” A hoarse and battered voice snapped at Adrien. The young stable hand immediately clammed up, embarrassed at being overheard. The old coachman hobbled into the stable with a pitchfork in hand and a scowl etched into the deep lines of his face. “Stop singing them sea shanties! Don’t you know those songs are dangerous to be singing? You’ll bring a whole fleet of ne'er do wells and heathens down upon us!”

“Sorry Willard.” Adrien apologized. “It was stuck in my head.”

“Well, you’ll do well to get it out of your head!” The old man knocked the back of Adrien’s knees with the blunt of the pitchfork. “Where’d you even pick up a tune like that?”

“I was at the blacksmith picking up new horseshoes and the lads in there were singing it.” Adrien mumbled.

“Hmph,” Willard rested against the side of one of the stable doors. “I’m not surprised. Those lads don’t have more than a couple of nails for brains in their heads. Don’t they know the danger of singing songs like that?”

“I understand that it is in poor taste but I don’t think a shanty is going to bring pirates down on us, Willard.” Adrien led one of the mares out of her stall.

“Spoken like a young fool.” Willard grumbled, “Get the horses ready. The master and his family are leaving for the fort soon.”

“Yes, sir.” Adrien nodded, obedient. He knew better than to sing those kinds of songs, especially where Willard might hear. As much as Adrien hated pirates and disliked sailors in general he had to admit they made some catchy tunes.

He finished harnessing the horses and handed the reins over to Willard so he could go pick up the family. Adrien trailed after the coach on foot taking the time the walk gave him to look over the town. There was an advantage to be working for one of the wealthiest families on the island and that was the view. The hill the Graham de Vanily’s estate resided on was up high above the bustle of the town. One could see everything from up there. To the north was the military fort, south was the farms, and east laid the village and the port. Watching the sun rise over the ocean horizon was one of Adrien’s favorite things to do.

The song from before wormed its way into Adrien’s thoughts again but he contented himself with only humming it this time. When he got to the front of the mansion he saw the Graham de Vanily family exiting the home and climbing into the coach.

The youngest of the family turned and saw Adrien. He raised his hand in greeting. “Adrien! Good morning!”

“Good morning, mister de Vanily.” Adrien sped up his pace a little to catch up.

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Felix?” The nobleman’s son sighed.

“Apologies.” Adrien gave a respectful nod of his head, “But I fear the master and lady of the house disapprove of such familiarity.”

“Yes. See?” The lady, Amelie Graham de Vanily fanned herself from inside the coach, “The stable boy has some sense of propriety.”

“It is only, Adrien, my dear,” Master Frederick Graham de Vanily said to his wife. “The boys have known each other practically their entire lives. Let them be a little familiar.”

Growing up Adrien had spent most, if not his entire life, serving the Graham de Vanily family. His mother had been a maid in their household and at any opportunity that Adrien could make himself useful he was. Now with his mother long since passed Adrien was the estate’s stable hand. Before he was properly employed though it seemed his job was to be the friend of Felix since they were so close in age. Adrien being only two years older than him. As children they had often played a game where they would switch spots to see how long it would take everyone else to notice that it was not Felix but Adrien wearing his clothes. The boys did look eerily similar as children apart from their eyes. Adrien had green and Felix’s were a pale grey. Growing older their differences became more pronounced. Adrien was more tanned from working outside and his frame bulkier and stronger than Felix’s pale and lithe scholarly build.

“Hm,” Lady Amelie turned her face away with a small scowl. Adrien had no idea why she disliked him so but didn’t question it. Perhaps it was a difference of classes.

The family loaded into the coach and took off down the hill towards the fort. Adrien went about with the rest of his daily chores before taking a rest to eat. Climbing up into the branches of one of the trees dappled around the mansion his mind started to drift as it often did when he was left alone with his thoughts. Simple thoughts about whether it would rain tonight to more questions about if he was meant to do anything with his life outside of being a stable hand.

He liked his work and the de Vanily family always treated him well. Outside of his work though there wasn’t much of anything at all to his life. His mother died when he was fourteen due to a fever, his father had been a sailor that he never met, he had no siblings, outside of Felix he didn’t even have any friends his own age. Those that he was close to were better classified as acquaintances and co-workers. Hell, he was likely to call the horses he took care of as his friends more than any human being he’s ever interacted with.

It was lonely and more than once Adrien thought of abandoning everything and jumping the next ship out of town. Not that he ever would. To do that would be to leave behind everything he knew. Everything that was comfortable. He didn’t have the first clue as to where he would go or what he would do if he got out into the world. The closest he ever came to a plan was to sail to another town and hope he could get employed as a stable hand over there. It wasn’t exactly a grand change from where he was now.

The chimes of the bells alerted him to the growing lateness of the day and Adrien climbed down from his perch and got back to work. Thoughts of the wonders the world may hold locked up again as he went to meet the coach to take back the horses.

Felix and him talked for a bit before dinner about what they had been at the fort for. Some officer had received a promotion or possibly someone was being honored for the many years of service. Felix couldn’t remember and honestly didn’t care. It seemed they were attending more functions like that every week. Not that there was much else to do in their town.

The night rolled in and Adrien was asleep in the farm loft. He had his own bed in the servant’s quarters but preferred the hay and soft sound of the wind than he did to the snoring of the other servants. Even if it did get colder out in the barn.

BANG!

The noise was enough to startle Adrien awake. Had the barn door not been shut properly. He crawled from his nest of hay and blankets and saw that the door had remained shut. But then what had--

BANG!

Another destructive bang broke the silent air. It sounded like it was coming from the mansion. Quickly grabbing a pitchfork for defense Adrien dashed from the barn. Outside he could hear the commotion much clearer now. He could see it too. Down below at the village, the farms, and even the fort fires raged under the moonlit sky. Out across the horizon sat a large lone ship almost invisible against the inky black ocean.

Pirates? Here?

As stealthily and quickly as he could Adrien drew closer to the house. Sure enough there was a group of vagabonds trying to break down the front door. Thank goodness Master Frederick had insisted on thick solid wood doors. Hopefully these idiot pirates would keep up trying to get through the door before they realized they could more easily break in through one of the windows. Speaking of…

Adrien ran back towards the opposite end of the mansion and climbed up one of the trees closest to the mansion wall. He got to a window and frantically started knocking on it. “Felix!” He shouted in a whisper in hopes of not giving away his location to the pirates, “Felix, it’s Adrien! Open up!”

“Adrien?” Felix’s face emerged from behind the curtains. He quickly unlocked the window and pulled Adrien inside. “What’s going on out there?”

“Pirates.” The sharp sound of breaking glass let Adrien know that the pirates had come to realization about the windows at long last. “We need to get out of here.”

“How?”

“Back through the window. Climb down and make a run for the woods. The pirates shouldn’t go looking out there.” The sound of pounding feet got louder. The doorknob to the room started to shake and rattle as whoever it is tried to get inside.

A string of swears passed half muttered through Adrien’s thoughts. He braced himself against the door but the person on the other side would break through eventually. “Go!” Adrien urged, “Get out of here.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you.” Adrien lied. There was no way he was going to be able to get out the window before the pirates knocked down the door.

“But--” Felix tried to argue.

“Go!” Adrien said more vehemently. Felix gave him one last look before he climbed out the window and onto the tree outside. At the same moment Adrien couldn’t hold the door any longer and the pirates burst in.

“Look at what we got here.” One of the dirty, scabby men aimed a sharp and freshly bloodied sword at him. “This your room, rich boy?”

Rich boy? They must think he’s one of the nobles.

“You’re trespassing.” Adrien tried to sound brave despite the clear threat to his life.

“Aye, that tends to happen in this line of work.” The pirate stepped closer. “What’s your name boy?”

“Adrien...Adrien Graham de Vanily.” He couldn’t be sure why he lied about his name. In the moment all he could think of was buying Felix, and hopefully his family, enough time to get to safety. If they thought he was one of the nobles they may not go out of their way looking for more.

“Ah, so this is your room.” More pirates filtered in grabbing anything that looked of worth and tossing everything that didn’t. “Some pretty trinkets in here but I think we’ve found one even more valuable than any shiny bauble. What say you, lads?”

The other pirates agreed. Those that didn’t have their arms overladen with stolen trinkets grabbed Adrien by either arm and started to drag him from the room. “Right this way, young master.” The pirate gave an exaggerated bow followed by a raucous round of laughter.

He tried to fight against their hold but it was all in vain. There were more of them, hardened and strengthened from years on the sea with weapons he knew they wouldn’t hesitate to use if he became a problem. They descended down the hill away from the mansion through the chaos of the town.

It was even worse seeing the turmoil up close. His home being torn apart and burned as if it was nothing more than trash. That was bad enough but it wasn’t the worst part. No. It was the screams. Screams of fear echoing over everything else. Sharp and full of pain.

The pirates came to the shore with Adrien in tow and tossed him into a boat as the others piled in. Arms overloaded with stolen goods they paddled back to the ship further out in the bay. The sheer size of the ship growing larger and more imposing the closer they got. Adrien swallowed back his nerves as he was forced up the ladder onto the deck of the ship.

“Aye, what do we have here?” A man approached a now bound Adrien. The man was every inch a pirate. Tall, cold eyes, a devilish grin, and the smell of salt and death clinging to him. This had to be the captain.

“My name is Adrien Graham de Vanily,” Adrien said with a confidence he was quickly losing, “Your men stole me from my home.”

“That’s quite a name, boy.” The captain grinned wider, “But the rich can afford to have longer names now, can’t they?”

“I demand you return me home at once!”

“Oh we will,” The captain clapped a hand on his back, “For the right price.” He shoved him back into the group of pirates.

“Take our guest to the brig. Make sure he’s comfortable.” The pirates leered and laughed as they once again dragged Adrien away against his will down below the deck. He was pushed into a small cell and the door locked behind him.

“If the accommodations are not to your liking just let us know.” One of the pirates flashed a smile of blackened teeth at him. “We’ll be sure to come by and fluff your pillow.”

The pirates took off again roaring with laughter. With nothing else to do Adrien sat down on the small plank of wood that passed as a bed in this cell. There the world grew quiet again. Nothing but the lap of the water against the haul and creek of the wood.

What had he gotten himself into? Why hadn’t he just tried to escape with Felix? This was a disaster. They thought he was the son of a noble. They were going to try ransoming him back to his family. What would they do once they found out he wasn’t actually part of the de Vanily family? At best they’d say he wasted their time and kick him off at the next port, at worst they’d kill him.

Who knows, maybe the family would pay it. After all, Adrien had always been a good employee and friend to Felix. There may be a chance…

Oh who was he kidding! He was a servant and nothing more. They’d maybe feel guilty for a day and then go out and hire another stable hand like Adrien never existed.

The only way Adrien was getting out of here was on his own. He’d have to be smart and try to keep up the facade as long as he could. They won’t kill him if they think he’s worth anything. With some luck he just may be able to escape but even he knew that was a long shot. Right now his only plan was to survive as long as possible.

What felt like a lifetime later the ship lurched and Adrien watched through a crack in hull as the silhouette of his home became smaller and smaller before disappearing altogether.

---

(2)

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #luka couffaine #lukadrien #pirate au

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dansnaturepictures · 3 years

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Rutland Water third blog: 21/08/21-Egleton Nature reserve, part 1 of 2: Ospreys, Great White Egrets, my first Yellow-legged Gull of the year and a lot else

Today we completed our trip by coming into Egleton nature reserve at Rutland Water. We had a phenomenal day again seeing one of the longest and most varied lists of birds I ever recall seeing particularly in a summer and possibly ever as we went to all but four of the hides it felt brilliant walking between them and clocking up so many after getting into every hide at Lyndon nature reserve the other side of the water yesterday too. It means I think we have over the years been to every hide at the two stretches of this fantastic nature reserve now. And it was all the more rewarding given going to reserves where you go into the fairly confined hides with other people was something not possible for so long due to the pandemic. We have well and truly had our fill of going into hides again now which is great. We saw so many birds we would expect of this area today and other welcome additions were just ones that felt quite random and encompassed so many family groups which was fantastic.

After a lovely time in the hotel we set off for Egleton and took in the two charming and fantastic villages I love seeing Rockingham and Caldecott as well as some others this morning and I got the chance to take my obligatory photos of them taking the first in this photoset featuring the characteristic for this time of year brown fields before getting into Rockingham and second picture in this photoset in Caldecott. We then came into Egleton nature reserve and coming here for the Bird Fair on this weekend for so many years it was bizarre not being stewarded in to a field by the amazing fluorescently dressed volunteers going towards the visitor centre, but instead going into the car park an area I’ve probably never looked at here before. There were quirky moments initially though with farm animals being moved around including the sheep that roamed the fields here and yesterday at Lyndon always key parts of this rural landscape and ponies. I took the third picture in this photoset at the woodland hide by the centre.

We then set about visiting every hide north of the visitor centre. I took the fourth and fifth pictures in this photoset early in. In the early hides Osprey and Great White Egret dominated proceedings with brilliant views of them particularly an Osprey as it soared like a barn door spectacularly over the water. Sweet brown Sand Martins and the noisy Common Terns which were a huge star today were seen well at this point too.

At the sandpiper hide young birds and waders dominated initially, with a fairly grown up humbug Great Crested Grebe chick looking great and another Mute Swan family with cygnets after yesterday I had not seen many cygnets this year as a whole so it’s felt good to catch up with them whilst away this weekend. Then a fresh clean plumaged Greenshank scuttled about on the shore of a shingle island on the lagoon it was great to see this star of the Bird Fair for us in the past I took the ninth picture in this photoset of a Greenshank at a hide further around the lagoon later on. Then spectacularly an Osprey flew in, mobbed by some of the Common Terns that were swirling around everywhere today which was interesting to see quite a big bird for any other to take on and it eventually made its way onto the Osprey post. We enjoyed some cracking views of this exceptional raptor at this hide and the next one along the Dunlin hide and I cherished this supreme species so much. Some of our best views of the whole trip of the principal species of it and some of the best chances for photos of one this weekend.

This lagoon also is the best spot at Rutland Water I feel to spot a charming and prominent landmark which I liked checking out a lot at Lyndon yesterday which looms in the distance in all weathers the stately house Burley-on-the-Hill. A familiar sight whenever we come to Rutland and it was great to take it in and take photos of it as well as put it in landscapes too like with the sixth picture I took today in this photoset.

We reached the Dunlin hide and on the way in had a brilliant few moments for birds seeing a stunning Spotted Flycatcher in trees with a pretty charm of Goldfinches. An exceptional and strong species to see, the first I ever saw was at Lyndon when up for the Bird Fair in 2009 our second fair and this is the first I have see at Rutland Water since. It’s the third I’ve seen this year which I am very pleased with. A Redshank flew over to in front of the hide and it transpired when in here that it was one of a pair of Spotted Redshanks. A monumental sweet plumaged bird to see I’d never seen these anywhere but the coast before and never at Rutland Water before so this was very special.

In this hide also we were very fortunate as we were with a year tick yesterday at Lyndon that some very kind fellow watchers picked out a Yellow-legged Gull with a group of Great Black-backed Gulls and let us look at it in their telescope. I was over the moon to spot the striking yellowness of its legs and greyness of its back for a little bit. A brilliant bird to see as I hadn’t seen one since January 2019 at Blashford Lakes, last year breaking a five year chain of me seeing them in years since 2015 with four years running at Blashford. But there are only two places I have ever ticked and indeed even seen this bird as the first we saw was in Bird Fair 2015 during a celebrity cruise on the Rutland Belle with David Lindo the urban birder. It was fantastic to record another year tick for the trip getting one each day to take my year list to a figure I am so pleased with 175 with two I was not guaranteed to see this year. We were very thankful to the kind people some of many we saw this weekend. I also found out when home our first ever Yellow-legged Gull was exactly six years prior to Saturday another great moment!

On the way from this hide to the Plover hide at the other end of the lagoon and before getting into Dunlin hide we had a foray into the insect and flower world with rich meadows like the bit shown in the seventh picture in this photoset attracting a Small Tortoiseshell one of the butterflies of the moment with so many about. We saw so many of these today as well showing nice continuity with some last weekend a big butterfly weekend we had I loved seeing their exotic red glow. We also saw on the wooded areas by the hides pretty female Common Darters and Common Blue damselflies. These strong bits of meadow habitat is one of my favourite bits of the reserve. So many beautiful and special wildflowers I saw here and all around the reserve today included; field scabious, viper’s-bugloss, bird’s-foot trefoil, yarrow, cow parsnip, carrot, self-heal, agrimony, hemp-Agrimony, buttercup, bellflower, thistle, teasel, black-mullein, the recently learnt by me pineappleweed, bindweed, ragwort, wood avens and Herb-Robert in the woods and great willowherb and rosebay willowherb next to each other by a path.

It was interesting to note today there was a lot more leaves of autumnal colour especially the birches which can be the first to go with their yellow colours but some other trees like red dogwood and others with red too than at home. I enjoyed other more towards autumnal sights today such as berries on trees and enjoyed trees generally a lot again yesterday and today.

At the Plover hide it was amazing to get another view of the Osprey flying and still. I saw another of my favourite birds flying into a great position to view and as heard just before and yesterday too as a beautiful Green Woodpecker darted across the lagoon. From this lovely hide we witnessed one of few wasps seen this weekend meet a perilous end at the hands of two spiders with a web around something I have seen before. There were loads of Lapwings here which was great to see and that other Greenshank seen well too. And I was thrilled to see our first of a few Egyptian Geese of the trip today here one of four new birds when we first visited the Bird Fair in 2008 like Osprey and they weren’t common Hampshire back then so it’s always a fond memory seeing these and was great to get them seen this trip I took the eighth picture in this photoset of them.

Visiting the remainder of the hides north of the visitor centre with Common Terns noisily wheeling overhead on the path and from the hides and we had some of our best moments of the trip. Firstly at one of the hides the scrape it overlooked was covered in waders. A strong group of Snipe, Green Sandpipers a bird I have relied on this reserve to see in past years seeing a few well with an interesting moment when a Lapwing came up behind one with them both creating reflections in the water/mud as I was taking a photo a picture I tweeted on Dans_Pictures, the first Avocet I’d ever seen at Rutland Water alongside Ringed Plovers two more I am more used to seeing on the coast seen today and three intricately marked scrumptious Ruffs at the water’s edge added a further injection of variety into today and our trip I got the tenth picture in this photoset of one of these. The Ruffs meant a lot as one quarter of the four life ticks we got in our first ever Bird Fair too. This hide also presented a stunning view of a Great White Egret probably one of the best, most intimate and best photo opportunities I got of this incredibly numerous ghostly white star of the trip and place. I was able to get a DSLR with big lens shot of this one I often need the greeter zoom of my bridge camera to capture them so this made a change. There were some more of my favourite birds around in the form of sweet brown/grey female and ruby headed male Pochards.

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bigfrozenfan · 4 years

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Frozen III plot / fanfic - part 4

The Secret of the Northuldra

The previous three parts you can find here: part one, part two, additional thoughts, part three.

I do have now a permanent beta-reader for my translation, writing style, possible logical errors and for discussions about my ideas.

Thanks Anon (i'm in private contact with him) for your support and for being such a huge fan of my fanfiction!

I hope you like this next part of my fanfic. Enjoy.

It has existed for so long. So long that, over the eons, it saw even the stars move and how the world was formed. Time passed, and it was content. It was at one with this world. Then life arose and at some point this began to develop its own consciousness. For a long time everything was good and remained in balance. But this did not stay that way for long and humans began to multiply and slowly but surely change this balance. It sensed this in advance and withdrew to a place high up in the north of the world. This place was not chosen by chance, but it did not look for this place either. That happened just like that. With the help of the elements it was in contact with every place in the world. It observed and learned, collected everything worth knowing and stored the memories of everything that existed. It was a river of knowledge and at some point it decided to intervene.

Humans felt that there was something at this site. Something special. Some of them, however, were more receptive than others and they went to this place because the river attracted them irresistibly. It chose these humans and made them serve itself, influenced them and sent them dreams. It gave them knowledge and wisdom and made sure that everything remained in balance.

As the centuries passed and the river froze, it finally became a glacier as the world changed. The place slowly fell into oblivion and eventually became a legend. But it was still there, and at some point decided to give a living form to four elements and to choose only one of these receptive humans in his short life time to control them all. It gave him a little of its own power for this task and thus ensured that the balance was maintained.

Generations passed, humans someday gave the glacier a name and four large monoliths were made, showing the symbols of the four elements. They had seen them glowing in the sky above the glacier more than once. The family of the One, called the Fifth who was admired and respected by all, made a scarf to pass on the legend to their descendants in a vivid way. It showed just these four symbols, grouped around a central fifth spirit, the symbol of a bridge between nature and mankind.

For some time all stayed that way and man and nature lived in harmony, but humans were the ones who finally changed things. There was a war between two peoples and it had to intervene once again. But in this turmoil something happened and remained undiscovered. Destiny took its course decades later when it, which they called Ahtohallan, finally realized his mistake.

Envy arose and desire for this power they called magic and a human took advantage of Ahtohallan's innocence. One human, in whom Ahtohallan had put too much faith in.

A mistake that in time would cost Ahtohallan dearly. But by then it was already too late.

***

They had given the horses the spurs and rode as fast as they could. They changed the pace from time to time from gallop to fast trot and back again to spare the animals. But at some point the sun was already very high and the heat affected humans and animals alike.

Mattias let his horse recede into the walk and Halima did the same. He patted the horse’s neck and looked over to Halima. “We have already done a good bit more than half of the distance and I think we are well in time. We should be there shortly after sunset. Would you like something to eat?” He reached into one of the saddlebags and pulled out an apple, which he held out to her.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile and accepted it. Then she took a hearty bite. “That feels good now,” she muttered with a full mouth shortly afterwards.

He grinned at her and pulled the leather water bag from the pommel, took a deep swallow and then hung it back. “When we are in Arendelle and I have sorted everything out, we could take the time to have dinner together. Shall we go again to that nice tavern up near the mill? Like last time?”

She nodded, “That would be genuinely nice, the food there is really good and afterwards we could go for a walk and look down from the hill onto the fjord. The weather is perfect, and we have almost a full moon.”

“Good idea. Let us do that.” He thought it did not really make sense for Halima to ride back with him in the morning. It would be better if she stayed at home, and they would see each other again the next day, when they had taken Elsa to the castle and the doctors were looking after her. There would be nothing more he could do, and they would have plenty of time for themselves. “Darling, I think I’d better ride back alone with the men and the wagon in the morning, and you stay in Arendelle until I return the day after tomorrow. All this riding is too tiring for you, you’d better rest.”

“Yes, maybe you’re right, I’ll wait for you and then have some time to do some errands,” she said and smiled over to him.

They rode comfortably in silence for some time, enjoying the beautiful landscape that slowly passed by until Mattias’ face slowly darkened and he finally expressed the thoughts that had been running through his mind since they left this morning. “I can’t get the whole thing into my head, you know? I just do not understand it. Not that I understand magic, but I’ve been with the Spirits there in the forest for decades. They didn’t hurt us and they left us in peace. They always assisted the Northuldra. And now this.”

“Apart from the fact that they held you captive,” Halima objected. “You have been away from me for so long, my love, and I have missed you terribly.”

He looked at her and his face brightened again. “I missed you, too, and it somehow kept me alive all this time. I never gave up hope of seeing you again one day and living with you in Arendelle. But year after year went by and…I mean-” he raised his arms helplessly and finally admitted “You’re right. When Queen Anna…well I mean before she was queen…when one day she suddenly appeared with Elsa in the woods in the middle of us and we…I talked to her that evening and I asked her if you were still over at Hudson’s Hearth and-” he faltered and his eyes became damp. “She said yes, you are, and then I asked her if you were… married.”

It took a moment for Halima to process what he had said and replied quietly “There has never been anyone else, Mattias. Only you.” She paused for a moment and then added, “We could have had children, Mattias.”

He looked at her sadly. Then finally he nodded and sighed, “I’m so sorry. I honestly imagined it so often. You and me in a cozy little cottage in Arendelle with a rattle band of feisty little kids.”

Halima said nothing about it. They both knew it was too late for her to have children at that age. They rode on in silence, both lost in thought. Then suddenly, in a low voice, she said, “We could adopt a child.” There was a short pause and Mattias didn’t know how to react to this suggestion. He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. “What do you think? There are some very nice children at the orphanage in Arendelle who are eager to be welcomed into a good family.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I have nothing else to do and I help out there from time to time. Every Friday afternoon I also tell stories to the little ones there. They love it. Don’t you ever have wondered why I’m never home that day?”

Mattias looked embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders. “I must admit I’ve never thought about it. During the week I have my duties at the castle, as you know now that Queen Anna has made me a general.”

Halima shook her head rebuking and sighed, “You are taking your new duties far too seriously. We are at peace, so what’s there much to talk about?”

Mattias couldn’t think of anything to say. She was right… as always. He nodded and then said “Let’s go there next week together. In my time, the orphanage hadn’t been around very long.”

“Yes, much had changed for the better since King Agnarr and Queen Iduna.” Halima put on a dreamy look.

“You knew them personally?”

“Well, I had no direct contact with the Majesties themselves. But I often saw them in Arendelle, even at the time when they were not yet married to each other. But I got to know Anna well about three years ago, she always is eager to meet and talk with people, she knows almost everyone by name.” She looked at him and asked, “Did you know Iduna was once at this orphanage?”

Mattias shook his head. “Why have we never talked about any of this before? It’s been so many months now since I came back alive from this forest. There is so much to tell. We must change that soon.”

“Nice of you to finally notice.” she rebuked and they looked at each other. Then they both had to laugh about it and he rode a little closer to her horse. He took her hand and looked deep into her eyes, “I love you, Halima. Now at last I can ask you what I wanted to ask you even then and only never dared to. Will you be my wife?”

Halima tore open her mouth and eyes and stared at him. Her heart pounded wildly as she nodded slowly but surely and answered with a broad smile, “Yes, Mattias, my love. I do.”

Mattias couldn’t believe it and a tear ran down his cheek as he bent over and kissed her.

They rode close together like this for quite a while, hand in hand, with a happy smile on their faces.

***

“Yelana, Yelana… something’s happened!”

One of the Northuldra men ran excitedly towards the leader. When he reached her, he stopped in front of her, completely out of breath and rested his hands on his knees, exhausted. Yelana looked at him in a slightly bewildered way and raised an eyebrow. “Calm down, Joná. What’s so important that you run around the village like a madman, shouting loudly and scaring everyone here?”

The man took a deep breath and started talking with his eyes wide open “I was out fishing and I thought to myself, they’ve got a good bite today. Then I looked over the calm waters of the Dark Sea and thought d…”.

Yelana raised her hand and rolled her eyes, “Get to the point, please. You don’t have to tell me about the weather, I can see for myself that today it is almost windless and very warm.”

“Yes… of course, once I start talking then-” Yelana looked at him with a penetrating look. “Excuse me…um…I was rowing towards Ahtohallan and I was already close when I saw something very disturbing. It…”

Yelana interrupted him again. “What were you doing so far out there? It’s forbidden, you know that.”

“Well, I figured since the spirits are gone and all, I’d take a look and…and try to find out something.”

Yelana shook her head, “So, you thought you could find out something about it. You.”

Joná looked at her sheepishly. “I…”

“Well, go on. I’m curious what you think you saw that was so disturbing,” she said somewhat sarcastically and tilted her head a little to one side.

“Ahtohallan is hidden behind a thick wall of fog, just like the one that has kept us locked up here all these years.”

Yelana looked at him at first in disbelief, then lowered her eyes broodingly. After a few moments, she took him by the shoulder and turned him away from the others, who were now looking curiously over at them. Then she whispered to him, “You won’t tell anyone here a word about this, do you hear me? That will remain between us for the time being. This is a serious matter and I first, must think carefully about it. You will also not tell anyone that you were out this far today. If anyone asks you, you tell them something about your catch, something about a big chunk of fish that almost pulled you over the edge of the boat, or something like that. You know what I mean?”

Joná nodded slowly as he stared at her, but couldn’t get another word out.

“Good. Now go back to work and don’t worry. I’m sure it’s half as bad as it looks.” Yelana directed him gently towards the beach and watched him thoughtfully as he walked away.

“This can’t be”, she whispered, lost in thought. Finally, she turned around and slowly walked towards her kota.

***

To be continued...

Remark: I have wondered who or what Ahtohallan is since I first saw Frozen II. Except that it is the source of magic from where Elsa got her powers, is master of the four spirits and cares about the balance of nature, we know nothing about "this being", if it is one. I thought it was about time to describe Ahtohallan from my point of view and I hope you enjoyed my thought process. Since I don't know whether it has a male or female (more likely) nature I have called the being "it". Background of the idea also was to connect Ahtohallan with Gaya, the Mother Earth, as she was called in Final Fantasy. Omnipotent and vulnerable at the same time. It is always the people who harm nature and who are hungry for power, who wage wars and spread without regard for losses. I don't know what WDAS was thinking when they designed Ahtohallan and its purpose, but maybe it was also an approach of Disney to show a connection, between the Spirits and Ahtohallan and a fifth spirit that forms a bridge between these two "worlds", man and nature. The introduction of the Northuldra with the background of a real people, the Sami, certainly had a deeper meaning in this context, especially if you know something about the history and way of life of this indigenous people. The dam is also directly related here.

And...I've now worked out most of the plot of my story. What I mean to say is that I now know exactly what is going to happen and I've already written the last section of the last chapter. But I can't tell you how many parts I still have to write before I get there.

#frozen2 #f3 plot idea #frozen3 #frozen au #fanfic #part 4 #mine

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sanders-specs · 4 years

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Patton’s Playlist Analysis

A/N: I’m back again with Patton’s playlist analysis!

So this is definitely my favorite playlist. I know at this point both Logan’s and Virgil’s have come out, and i still just like Patton's the best, and honestly i think this analysis reflects that. It’s also very long, so I apologize for that. And again, disclaimer: This is entirely my own opinions. I’m not trying to speak for Thomas or Joan or anyone else who helped put together the playlist. it’s okay if you don’t agree with me! In fact, I’d like to hear your thoughts if you don’t!!

It does go song by song, like with Roman’s, so you can divide it up if you want. but for those who don’t want to/can’t read an analysis of 20 songs, I’ll put the summary above the cut and those who want to dive deeper can enjoy.

Let me know if you want to see Logan’s!

Roman’s Analysis

Analysis summary/conclusion(?):

Patton is a bright, bubbly optimist. he sees the best in everyone and in the entire world. He believes in kindness and love and wants to make the world a better place with it.

But he also wants to be loved and feel loved. By the other sides, by Thomas’s friends and family, romantically. He craves that affection and attention almost as much as Roman does. He wants so badly to help (like with Virgil), but he feels like he doesn’t quite do enough.

Still, though, he’s determined to spread that love and kindness, even if he doesn’t get much in return for it.

Like with Roman’s we’re going to start with the first song sooo here we go!

Camp Fire Song Song.

None of us should be surprised and honestly, I had forgotten Patton’s answer to the favorite song question in the Q&A video until I hit play on the playlist.

There’s not too much to analyze here. It’s a really short song with only a few lyrics (if also iconic).

Honestly, though, listening to it for analyzing purposes, it reminded me of Learning New Things, when Patton and the others were trying to get Logan to sing along with them and join in on the bit. Also, in the Christmas episode when Patton and Roman are trying to get Virgil to sing his line with them. Squidward being a good representation of both of them in the moment in their respective videos.

After all, Spongebob and Patrick were just trying to have a little fun, and they wanted Squidward to join in, even if it was obvious that he didn’t want to. Still, though, Spongebob wasn’t deterred by his silence. He just kept going and having fun.

Patton’s a bit of the same way. Even though he wants the others to join him in his ideas of fun, they don’t always do. Still, though, Patton keeps trying and smiling through it all and having his own fun. Making puppet puns, doing impressions, mixing up the way he was singing his part in the twelve days of Christmas. he has his own fun, even when the others don’t really participate but you know…

It’ll help if you just sing along

Turnaround is so cute. I haven’t watched The Little Prince, but if the whole soundtrack is as good as this song then I just might.

This song, like many on Patton’s playlist, is about living life and enjoying the good things. Everything from the lyrics to the happy-go-lucky music to the scat singing just has a tone of optimism and happiness.

Straight (Straight), how can you be so straight? (Straight) Life is everything but straight (Straight) It's going up and down

Life has its ups and downs, so you shouldn’t be so focused on one path or one plan. Not everything is going to go right, sure, but there are so many things that will. Focusing too much on making things go the way you want them to will prevent you from learning and living life how it’s supposed to be lived.

Far (Far) Happiness isn't far (Far) Not far from where you are (Are)

A lot of people live like their looking for happiness, when in reality if they stopped looking, they’d find they would be much happier.

Now, of course I can’t speak for everyone or their situations. In this particular instance, I’m talking about the people who go through life thinking “as long as I do/have/accomplish this then I’ll be happy” when they already have so much or have people around them that could give them the happiness that they want so badly.

It goes well with the Growing Up video. What Patton was trying to tell the others all along, and what the ultimate conclusion of the video was. Happiness isn’t far.

Watching your life go by (By, by by) Now, why don't you sing out loud? The tune you keep inside?

Really most of this song is saying to enjoy the now. Who you are, what you like, the person that you are. Not to hide yourself.

Shy (Shy) How can you be so shy? (Shy) Hiding below the stars (Stars) Under your neon light (Light) Hi (Hi) Don't say hello, say hi (Hi) Hi to a higher sky (Sky) Hi to a higher ground Loud, why don't you sing out loud? The words you keep inside?

Listening to this verse in the context of Patton is super interesting to me. We all know those people who are all “Just be happy! You’re alive, the sun is out, what else could you need?” While I don’t really think Patton is too in that category, he’s up there. He loves rainbows and sunshine and everything about life (see: his verse in Recipe for Me). He’s excited-able and very Maira-running-through-the-hills-singing-about-how-the-hills-are-alive-with-the-sound-of-music.

All that being said, comparing this to, say Virgil, who is arguably the polar opposite is interesting. Patton being the way he is, really doesn’t understand being shy or social anxious. Of course he would want you to sing out loud! Why would you want to hold that in when you can just let it all out and have fun with it? He’s much more likely to give a stranger a hug than he is to duck his head and look the other way.

But he doesn’t want you to just suddenly change. He wants to help! The very first lyric of the song says just that.

Turn around, I’m right behind you

He’s there, he’s with you, he’s going to help you break out of your shell and be free. He wants you to turn your views of life around to be as happy as you can be.

All of the songs on this playlist are super chill and it’s really nice. Jim Croce has such a nice voice which makes I Got a Name just really nice to listen to. Also, the music itself is amazing (I’m huge on aesthetically pleasing things, especially in songs so I have to gush. There will be a lot of that in this one).

This one goes along with Turnaround a bit in the sense that it’s about living. Moving through life like you move easily (in…some places) down a highway.

Like the pine trees lining the winding road I got a name, I got a name Like the singing bird and the croaking toad I got a name, I got a name

Everything in the world has a name, a title, something that we call it by. If it doesn’t, we give them one. It’s part of just being alive on this earth, having a name. In so many cultures, names are some of the most important things. They mean things, for some, they define who they are. Honestly, look into why we have middle names, or all the different titles the Greeks have for love, or why Queen Elizabeth had to full on change her name when she became queen.

Maybe I’m just song analyzing at this point instead of putting it to Patton Context or heck, maybe I’m just taking the lyrics too literally. But, I mean, he is the side who cares the most about….everything. Thomas is an incredibly caring person and all of that is Patton. He’s the one who would have names for every single toy he has, because names are important, everyone has to have a name! it’s something he would care about.

Movin' me down the highway, rollin' me down the highway Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

I find this…ironic. I don’t know if it’s meant to be, honestly. But when you’re on the highway you are…literally rolling past life. The trees, the birds, other people. You are literally passing by entire towns and neighborhoods.

I dunno, I just find irony in this, intentionally or not. I know it means trying to get ahead of life so you can properly live it or something, but…you’re still missing it.

Huh. Maybe that is what it means.

Like the north wind whistlin' down the sky I got a song, I got a song Like the whippoorwill and the baby's cry I got a song, I got a song And I carry it with me and I sing it loud If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud

I love the comparisons here, because it’s not talking about an actual song, but the sounds of life. The wind, a baby’s cry, a whirlpool. There’s quote that I love be Cecily Morgan (at least according to Google), “Music is life and that’s why our hearts have beats.” We all have a song inside of us, the way our hearts beats (don’t science me, that’s for Logan’s Playlist). The phrase “follow your heart” is what I’m pretty sure this verse is referencing. Even if you follow your heart and it leads you nowhere, at least you can be proud that you got there, which not many people can say.

Patton is a huge part of Thomas. I’m not saying the others aren’t, because they are, but he holds his morals very highly. Patton’s input in anything, especially the big life decisions, is one of the most important next to maybe Logan. He knows what Thomas wants maybe even more than Roman. Sure, Roman holds Thomas’s hopes and dreams, but Patton gives him the motivation to go after them, to act on them.

Thomas’s choice to pursue Vine and then YouTube could have lead him nowhere. It really could’ve. But he followed the song of his heart and got there.

That’s allllll Patton.

Like the fool I am and I'll always be I got a dream, I got a dream

There’s some self-awareness here with the fool line. Patton’s not an idiot. He knows the others don’t think much of him. He’s the perfect definition of someone who may not be book smart, and therefore everyone else thinks he’s stupid. When in reality, he’s just not very good with words, so he expresses things the best way he knows how. This song is a really good example, because of all the nature comparisons in it. It doesn’t get too literal until this verse

They can change their minds but they can't change me I got a dream, I got a dream Oh, I know I could share it if you'd want me to If you're goin' my way, I'll go with you

Thomas has big dreams. We’ve all seen Roman, we know that. But like I said before, Patton is the one who can really get Thomas to go for those dreams. Like in Learning New Things, when Thomas was feeling self conscious because of one comment an old friend made, and Patton led the conversation that helped him to understand that there was nothing wrong with Thomas or his dreams, there was nothing wrong with feeling sad about the comment. How, in the end, it takes a lot to figure ourselves out and that without his YouTube career, he wouldn’t be where he is now.

So, yeah, others can change what they think about him, his career, and his dreams, but that’s not going to change what he does or the fact that he loves it. In fact, he’s willing to share that dream with others, and to help them on theirs, as he has done. Look at his team (or, I suppose, what we know of of Character Thomas’s team). It’s full of his friends and it seems like whenever they bring someone on, they’re welcomed with open arms. Now, I’m only talking from a fan’s perspective here. That’s just how it looks to me. He’ll help others achieve their dreams as much as they’ll help him achieve his.

So from what I’ve seen around, people really like Oranges. Or, well, me. I really love Oranges. The song, not the fruit. Not a big fan of the fruit (the texture is eugh).

And it’s such a Patton song!

That thing about him not being book smart? It applies here too. It’s a bit of a nonsense song at first listen, I’m not going to lie. A really fun nonsense song.

But then, I have to read the lyrics along with listening to the song when I do these because otherwise I just can’t pick up on every word. My attention span and memory is not that good, and I tend to focus a lot more on the music part than the singing part the first few times around. So maybe this is just my experience.

It's funny how nobody sings about oranges The reason's no rhyme, I'm starting to mind How we take our ideas and put them in storage But peel back the rind, who knows what you'll find

Take the same risks as if you're afraid If life gave you an orange, would you make lemonade And it's funny how nobody sings about oranges When you've got one in the palm of your hand

Lots of metaphors here. I think Patton just lives in a state of metaphors.

I’m pretty sure we’re talking about suppression here. Suppressing ideas, feelings, whatever, because of pretty superficial reasons. Once you strip those reason away, you can be unstoppable. We’re back to that idea of living the life you want, going where your heart takes you. Using what life gives you and running with it. Take some risks with it, if you must. But you have it. Use it! I mean if you’re given an orange, would you make lemonade?

No.

You’d make orange juice.

Crazy how nobody sings about chocolate Seems there would be nothing so sweet Like we're living in the boxes of someone who's locked it How can that be, it just ain't for me

Is…is the chocolate metaphor referencing Forest Gump?

Anyway, people like pushing others into “boxes.” Titles, positions, identities, whatever. They don’t like it when you step out of that box.

Which this is interesting to me, because as we’ve seen in the videos, Patton doesn’t like change too much. Stepping out of that box would involve change. He has gotten better at it since the changes video, but that’s not really something that goes away.

But on the other hand, the heart changes it’s mind all the time. It can be fleeting as much as it can be stubborn. When it comes to your wants and needs and dreams, that can change all the time. That’s why Thomas is a creator. Not just a YouTuber or a singer or an actor. He’s all of those things, all of which would have involved individual decisions on what to pursue and focus on. Which motivation would be the focus of the day or hour or minuet.

We're curving our motions and faking our bets If you don't open a chocolate, who knows what you get And it's crazy how nobody sings about chocolate When you've got it in the palm of your hand

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a Forest Gump reference.

Which is a reference to life. How you’re never going to know what you’re going to get, what life is going to throw at you. But until you take it and uncover it, you really won’t know what it is.

I think this is a bit of Patton accepting that life is unpredictable and throws curveballs. Accepting that he needs to take whatever flavor of chocolate he’s going to get, whatever filling, no matter if it’s one he’s going to like or not.

We run in circles and just like this stay Now purple's got us blue and silver's going grey, hey hey Is there nothing else to say

Staying in the same place, always doing the same things, gets old. Without taking those risks or making what you can out of what you have, even if it’s not something that fits exactly what you think you need, just makes life fade away.

When you follow your heart through life, that doesn’t mean that you won’t be thrown some curveballs. Actually, it almost guaranteed that you’re thrown curveballs. That’s something that Patton has to be ready for, and ready to deal with, and not just making Thomas stay in the same state of mind.

It's funny how nobody sings about oranges Yeah it's funny how nobody sings about oranges Oh, imagine a world where we don't play this game With apples and oranges, nothing's the same

This game of staying still, comparing apples to oranges when they’re inherently the same (or at the very least have a lot in common). Where people follow their hearts and don’t duck away when things start to get a little tough.

While we know that Patton doesn’t like change, he is also the heart and he has to help Thomas deal with those changes as they come. It’s not easy or fun, but it’s something that he has to do.

I Don’t Wanna Pray is a song that grew on me the more I listened to it. It’s definitely got a fun tempo to it.

Also I want to go ahead and say that I have a kinda complicated relationship with religion. I have grown up with a religious family and have been to church a fair few times (we weren’t the kind of family that went every week, it was really only when I spent the night with my grandmother that I went). So I have some familiarity with the teachings of Christianity. If I don’t hit every beat on this, then I’m sorry. I did my best.

It’s not too surprising that a religious song like this made it onto Patton’s playlist. After all, we’ve seen how Thomas’s religion means a lot to him and how he lives his life by his morals. It wouldn’t make much sense if this type of song wasn’t on the playlist.

I love my God, God made love I love my God, God made love I love my God, God made hate I love my God, God made hate I love my God, God made good I love my God, God made good I love my God, God made bad I love my God, God made me (Yeah)

Normally I wouldn’t include so many repeats for the sake of length, but the one word changes here is worth looking at. It goes from love to hate to good to bad and then instead of repeating bad, it says “me.”

Could it be that the singer thinks they’re bad? Maybe, but I think the point of all these repeats is to say that “me” (humans) are composed of love, hate, good, and bad. That God made all of those things and then made man with them. And despite that, the singer still loves God, because He made all those things, even if it’s something we consider to be bad.

And everything listed goes under morals and feelings. Love, hate, good, bad. Everything that Patton is (“I’m the core of a lot of your feelings”) is those things, and then some.

But I don't wanna pray to my maker I just wanna be what I see Not just who I am but the pink and darling land And that fiery wild sky over me Help me through the sun Hey I'm lookin' everywhere See I'm looking to become not the pray-er but the prayer

---

I don't wanna pray to my maker I just wanna be feelin' free Not like in a book, or the leaves of trees that shook From a word that means only not a thing Pardon god and mom, what I'm sayin' isn't fair See I'm looking to become, not the prayer but the prayer

I pretty much translate this to “I want to be the good I see in the world.” That instead of praying and hope that God will fix something or make something better, that they want to go and do what they would pray for. To take all the good and love and bad and hate that God made them out of and do something worthwhile with it.

Not much good to talk, better to walk it Not much good to take, better to give We are gone forgiven and forgotten of our sins I promise you my friend all that dies will live again Pardon god and mom, what I'm sayin' isn't fair See I'm looking to become, not the prayer but the prayer

This verse really drives home that idea. Better to give the good than to take it from others. That, yeah, you’ll sin (bad and hate are included in that beginning verse, remember), but God will forgive them.

Honestly this whole song just reinforces a lot of what we already know. Patton, out of all the other sides, holds the religious teachings Thomas had closely. It’s how he has determined to live his life. And Thomas is a good person. He wants to do what is right and do exactly what the song says: give good and love, practice what he preaches. Maybe it’s not always fair, but he firmly believes in how he lives, maybe even to a fault.

I personally relate to New Soul and honestly this is another song that’s a very obvious Patton song and why it would be on this playlist. I know that’s the point, but still. It’s good.

I'm a new soul I came to this strange world Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take But since I came here Felt the joy and the fear Finding myself making every possible mistake

Gosh, we’ve all been here right? Going into a new situation or stepping into a new part of our lives and just messing it all up and tripping over ourselves as we go along.

Yeah, I know that’s how life works, but I’m still going to complain about it.

I don’t know if it’s the voice or the way it’s sung or the music but this song just reminds me of those scenes in movies where the MC or someone makes this new creature and the creature comes out and we have to watch them stumble through the world and learn about all the good and bad things about life.

But, like I said, we’ve all been there. Where we’re just feel like we’re thrown into this unknown world and have to stumble through it blindly.

I'm a young soul in this very strange world Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake But why all this hate? Try to communicate Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a super hard lesson. There are people out there (myself included) who are just very trusting. We want to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But it’s so hard, because other people see that and take advantage of that. It’s a hard lesson to learn and it sucks.

We’ve seen that Patton is like this. In Accepting Anxiety, he didn’t think anyone would break into Thomas’s car, even though it’s a very real possibility. He’s a bit like a little kid who doesn’t understand the “don’t talk to strangers” rule in that regard.

And as Logan said in that episode, it’s good for him to trust people, but he’ can’t always afford to. And man, sometimes you have to learn that the hard way.

This is a happy end Cause' you don't understand Everything you have done Why's everything so wrong This is a happy end Come and give me your hand I'll take you far away

There’s a bit of naivety here. Of being oblivious to the bad stuff and thinking that everything is still good and happy, but things are still wrong. The last part of it makes me think that it’s the singer telling another new soul to come with them, that they’ll protect the other new soul.

Another thing that just so Patton. He can be naïve, but he also wants to protect those around him from the horrors he’s endured (however sever those horrors may be).

And he makes mistakes. Sometimes irreversible mistakes. Remember, sometimes the heart leads us nowhere.

I can’t decide if Better Together is on there as a song to all the sides and Thomas or if it’s just to Roman or just to Thomas.

Now, yes, it’s a love song. No, we’re not going to talk about shipping in these, since I highly doubt that’s what Thomas and Joan were thinking when they put these together.

There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard No song that I could sing but I can try for your heart Our dreams and they are made out of real things Like a shoebox of photographs With sepia-toned loving

Love is the answer At least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing It's always better when we're together

See, my first thought is Roman.

Patton and Roman have to work together in order for Thomas to be happy. Without Roman’s ideas and his hopes and dreams, there’s not much Patton can do to make Thomas happy. And without Patton giving Thomas motivation and having that love, Roman can give idea after idea, but Thomas can’t act on them.

They’re an important pair.

And in that second verse? It makes me think of Why Do We get Out of Bed in the Morning. All those questions? Why are we here, where do we go, why is it so hard? Of course Patton’s answer to that would be love. Thomas’s love for his job, his friends, his family, his fans. But Roman couldn’t really see that because he and Logan negated Patton’s input. I bet you that conversation would have gone differently if Patton had been there.

You can’t really have dreams and aspirations without having heart behind them, right?

And all of these moments Just might find their way into my dreams tonight But I know that they'll be gone When the morning light sings Or brings new things For tomorrow night you see That they'll be gone too Too many things I have to do But if all of these dreams might find their way Into my day to day scene I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between With only two Just me and you Not so many things we got to do Or places we got to be We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Okay so I’ve sat here listening to this part over and over again trying to get a read on it. Here’s what I think, and you know, I could be totally wrong.

There’s a balance between dreams being realistic and then them just being fantasies. We know that Roman doesn’t really know where that line is. Patton does. He helps to keep Roman in check and brings him back down to Earth when he needs to. But’s it’s good for them to be somewhere in between. Sometimes having crazy dreams and aspirations is good, just as long as you don’t get too lost in them.

I believe in memories They look so... So pretty when I sleep --- But there is Not enough time And there is no... No song I could sing And there is no Combination of words I could say But I will still Tell you one thing We're better together

Patton is big on memories. This has been made very clear in his room. Thomas can use those memories in order to want to continue to follow his dreams. Like the first time he saw a Broadway show, or the first time he stared in a production, and using that nostalgia and fondness to pursue his acting career. Roman goes crazy over those memories in Patton’s room, and we saw that at the end of it, he was psyched up to get back to the theater. Patton holding onto those memories did that. They can act as inspiration and motivation.

Patton and Roman can work so well together. They’re a creative team, they need each other in order for the other to strive. They help to balance each other out and keep Thomas creating and passionate.

And now, Vienna.

I almost feel like I don’t need to analyze this one. Everyone seems to have already done it.

But you know what, I love it so I’m going to dive into it.

After I gush about it.

The piano, the tempo, the softness of it. It’s an amazing song.

Okay okay I’m good.

So.

This song isn’t even about Patton. It’s about the others. It’s him talking to each of the other three sides. It’s him trying to tell them what he sees in them. Does it make me emotional? Yes.

So as always, let’s start at the beginning

Slow down, you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart, tell me Why are you still so afraid, hmm? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day-ay But you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want or you could just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Logan. He is ambitious. He wants order and structure in Thomas’s life, and he works so hard to get there. But he’s afraid of failing. So he works harder. Patton’s trying to tell him to slow down. Don’t try to get everything done at once and to take his time. That it’s not the end of the world if Thomas doesn’t accomplish everything on his To-Do list. And if he keeps pushing, Thomas isn’t going to have any energy left for anything at the end of the day.

Slow down, you're doing fine You can't be everything you want to be before your time Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight Tonight Too bad but it's the life you lead You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need Though you can see when you're wrong You know you can't always see when you're right You're right

You've got your passion, you've got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Roman. Oh Roman, Roman, Roman. This one is my favorite.

He’s so ready to get to where he wants to be. He just wants to go go go, do everything so he can finally achieve what he’s been working on for so long.

But he’s ambitious. He needs to stop, take a step back, and breathe.

And Patton sees his self-confidence issues. He sees that Roman acts like a big brave prince but underneath it all he’s scared. He’s so hard on himself when he’s wrong, but he doesn’t celebrate when he’s right, when he’s on a roll.

Like I said before, Patton keeps Roman grounded. The passion, the pride, he helps to keep that in check. And as much as Roman may hate it, he has to be realistic about Thomas’s dreams.

Slow down, you crazy child And take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile It's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

This one is short, but I think it speaks a lot for Virgil. He has kind of been the side that determines he’s on his phone a lot, maybe checking Tumblr and twitter to see what people are saying about Thomas, who stays by his phone to make sure that Thomas doesn’t miss anything, that he responds to emails and texts and phone calls right away so no one will be upset. So they don’t think any less of him.

But Patton wants him to realize that he can take a break. It’s not the end of the world. Like Logan, Virgil stresses about Thomas being on time and keeping to his schedule. Not because of order or structure, but because he doesn’t want Thomas to be a failure or to lose what he’s worked so hard for.

In a way this one goes with Logan’s. taking a break isn’t the end of the world. His friends and family will be okay if he doesn’t respond right away. It’s okay.

It’s You I Like is another song that I feel like it just Patton talk to the other sides. I don’t really know if Thomas and Joan had an idea of who. My first impression was Roman (what with his confidence issues) but looking at the lyrics I can really see it being to anyone.

It's you I like Not the things you wear Not the way you do your hair But it's you I like

The way you are right now Way down deep inside you Not the things that hurt you Not your toys; they're just beside

You

'Cause it's you I like Every part of you Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new

Hope you will remember Even when you're feelin' blue It's you I like It's you yourself It's you It's you I like

It’s supper short song, so there’s not too much to break down. Honestly I think this is just Patton saying…yeah, he loves the other sides. He loves Thomas. No matter what any of them decide to wear, he’ll be supportive. No matter how they choose to present themselves, he’ll be there. No matter how they feel or think, he’s not going to go anywhere or turn against them. He likes them for them, no matter what.

Thomas and Joan have already said that Little Shadow is about Virgil. But they didn’t say why so that’s what I’m going to try to do.

Have you ever had a younger friend, maybe at school or as a neighbor, who kinda follows you around because they don’t know what else to do? Heck, have you ever been that friend? Or maybe you have a little cousin or sibling who watches your every move to learn how to be.

That’s kinda how I see the start of Patton’s and Virgil’s relationship. Virgil is new to the “Light” sides and he just got Thomas to start really listening to him and taking him seriously, but he’s still unsure of his place. So Patton guides him a little by being completely and undoubtedly supportive of him. To a fault, as we’ve seen.

But this song reminds me of that beginning, of Patton reaching out hand to Virgil and helping to lead him.

Patience, shadow For all your sight, there's no sight to see Little shadow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Pardon, shadow Hold on tight to your darkened key Little shadow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Closer, shadow For all your strikes, still, we're caught between All this sorrow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Every shape and size Deep and deep, we dive Turn and turn aside To a fantasy Little shadow Into the night, will you follow me? Little shadow To the night, will you follow me?

This whole song just makes me reinforces the “Patton wants to protect Virgil” thing. For a while there, yeah, Virgil needed Patton’s support and probably even relied on it. If this song is Patton’s point of view of Virgil (Thomas’s words) then we can really see why Patton treats Virgil the way he does. The song has this little shadow who needs a guide into the scary unknown. Maybe Virgil was like that at one point, but he’s not anymore. Patton still sees him like that, though, which is why he was still treating Virgil the way he was in the Phases video.

That brings us to Sad.

Thomas has said that this is the song that inspired him to make the playlist. That he imagined Patton singing it about Virgil. So to go along with the last one then…well.

You're just too good at being sad I'm just a Band-Aid on a broken heart Yeah, I'm the best at making you laugh For a breath, and you're back in your head, you're so sad You're so sad

Don't know if I'm hurting or helping It's just so damn hard to tell when You're just too good at being sad

Virgil is anxiety. He’s a huge part of Thomas and the fact that he’s there at all means that Thomas does have anxiety issues. He’s been open abut his social anxiety before, and Virgil encompasses that (among other things).

Patton tries to help. He wants to make Virgil comfortable, to get a laugh or even just a smile out of him. And maybe he does, but Virgil always ends up back to where he started. Anxious and sad.

All I wanna do is take the sad from you, but I can't and you wouldn't let me anyways

I think Patton feels a little helpless. His job, in his mind, is to keep Thomas happy, and to do that the others need to be happy as well. That’s why he tries so so hard. But in Virgil’s case, that’s hard. Not only can he not change who Virgil is or Thomas’s anxiety (and depression? We’re unsure at the moment), but Virgil wouldn’t let him change it. Either out of stubbornness or a fear of the huge change that would be.

The song goes on to repeat, so I won’t put any more lyrics here. I just think this song sheds so much light on how Patton is feeling right now, after Virgil’s rejection of the nicknames and the ask that Patton completely change the way he treats Virgil.

Then there was the whole thing with Deceit and Remus. The two haven’t really had much of a chance to reconcile. Virgil got his feelings out to Patton, but Patton is still sitting on his own.

There’s still a lot those two need to work on and talk about. Thomas seems to be in the middle of reevaluating himself and that includes the relationship his has with his anxiety. I, for one, am looking forward to see how it plays out.

Oh Heart is one of those nonsense songs I was talking about earlier. I love it, it’s so fun, but it’s also kkiinndddaaa hard to analyze. For me, anyway.

But looking at the lyrics literally all I can think is that it’s Patton singing to Logan, trying to get his attention.

I'm a bee. You're a tree on a moon cloud in the sea. --- Oh heart, Oh Heart, stop making a fool of me. (fool fool fool fool fool fool of me) Maybe I'm a monkey in the a tree running with the hope and possibility Throwing pennies down the wishing well Hoping and wishing Male monkey just to look at me. Look how quickly i can climb a purple tree. I’m gymnast, chemist, centric mathematician. You should look at me. Look at me!

This honestly looks like it’s Patton saying stuff to get Logan’ attention. Like saying “I know big words too!” and trying to impress him. And I can’t blame him! If there’s one side that ignores Patton the most, it’s Logan. He doesn’t think Patton is serious enough, when really he just doesn’t understand Patton’s reasoning. I'm great. I'm green. I'm gorgeous. I'm every thing that starts with a "G" I'm goofy. I'm gargantuan. I'm going to make you laugh again. Got one smile and I'm gone. I live in a horn

Again, a lot of him trying to show off his own knowledge in his own Patton-y way. He wants to get Logan to loosen up and have fun too, which is why he gets so excited whenever Logan makes a pun. I'm everything that a flower is I plan to make about 30 kids I got sink for his and hers and hers for his. One well where my cotton is I'm a Baby and I'm basically The B girl who's been baking your heart in my stove hungry for your love

Patton’s desperate for Logan’s approval. He wants the validation by the embodiment of knowledge, to know that who he is is okay. That his feelings and everything he feels is normal. If anyone would know that, it’s Logan. One day you have to show me How you do that thing when you ignore your heart. Oh, One day you'll have to teach me how you do that thing when you forget about the Sun Sun Sun Sun?

Logan’s able to ignore his own emotions so well, and Patton being the embodiment of emotions, likely doesn’t understand it. How Logan is able to just ignore those things. To ignore Patton. Those two have had such a silent tug-o-war going on, and they have been since Heart vs. Mind. No wonder Patton snapped at him in Moving On, Logan had been ignoring him for so long. Why couldn’t he understand the feelings were too hard to deal with?

The Flame is the type of song that is so soft it can easily put me to sleep.

You know I think this is my favorite playlist so far.

Anyway, The Flame is definitely about Roman.

Hold on to the flame That only you can hold That keeps at bay the darkest cold Another light could never make you whole

The flame here could be passion, motivation, an idea. Something that keeps the light of creativity alive. Roman, being pride, is easily able to be discouraged and dissuaded. Patton acts a bit like a cheerleader in that regard. I know I’ve said this before on a few other songs, but those two really would not be whole without the other. Their jobs would be a lot harder.

Softly but sure The story that you weave Will be the gift that sets you free The ashes of a tapestry

Patton knows that the creative process takes a long time. He’s there for all of it. But Roman’s the one who weaves the stories, so he sees the work put into it, helps with it.

There will be times That it seems your world and wants collide But hold on for your heart to beat inside To be your guide

Roman has to learn to let Patton really help him. They’ve worked together before, on the Mind Palace, on the Christmas sweaters. So we know that they work well together. It just seems to be on Roman’s terms. Patton is telling him here to let him help, especially when the world throws a bunch of stuff at them. The good and bad.

Hold on to the flame That only you can touch That lights the path it must The journey is a game of trust

Roman has to trust him. Learn to accept the help of others and humble himself a little.

There will be times that grow darker with the dusk But light will still remain in us The longest night is but a shadow's blush

Creating is hard. It takes up so much brain power and a lot of times you fall into this slump and you feel like maybe this time is it. I won’t be able to find that spark of creativity again. And it seems like it takes forever, but eventually it comes back to you.

Patton doesn’t want Roman to burn himself up. He doesn’t want that burn out to happen, because that affects not only Roman, but Patton too. So he wants him to hold onto the flame, don’t let it go so they can keep going.

Is Landslide considered country? I think so? I dunno. I don’t know why people were mad about it, it’s a good song (says someone who grew up in the south).

But like? Listen to the lyrics. Thomas and Joan didn’t put it on the playlist for no reason. You people want angst and this song provides it.

When I looked into what this song meant to the songwriter, I honestly couldn’t think of another reason it would be on Patton’s playlist. This was a song written after a breakup, and I don’t know if Thomas and Joan knew that or not, but after Moving On, I think it’s perfect.

I took my love, took it down I climbed a mountain, and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills Till the landslide brought me down

Patton puts his love out there for all. We know this. We see it. Thomas loves so much and so hard, because of Patton. So when that love isn’t recuperated or the love that was given back and taken away, it’s crushing. Heartbreaking, literally. So when the breakup happen, imagine how he felt. I mean, I know we saw a bit of it in Moving On, but that was months after the fact. I imagine that, yeah, it felt like the ground came out from under his feet and pulled him down.

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder, even children get older And I'm getting older too

This verse more than anything else in the song just screams Patton to me. He is the children within Thomas’s heart, for one. Heartbreak is hard, and reminding yourself of being a child, when such a thing didn’t happen (I’m talking serious heartbreak, here. And also just in general. To those of you who did have to go through heartbreak as a child, I’m so sorry and I hope you’re doing okay). Moving through a big change in life, standing on the borderline, you could say, is difficult. For someone like Thomas, whose morality keeps literally everything in Thomas’s life he can’t let go of which is to say…everything, it’s super hard for a big change to happen. To having to relearn how to live again, basically.

We saw it, in Patton’s two parter. How hard it was for him to accept that he needed to move on, and that it was okay to be sad. But as time went on, as he got older and learned how to live without his ex, it got easier. Or it will, I should say. I don’t really know the time period in which all this took place between episodes since apparently we’re on a timeline now that’s different to just present day.

Life can be a bitch and sometimes it crashes down on you and hard. Patton, out of all of the others, can and will feel the biggest impact of it.

If Roman was the bruised ego in Logan and Virgil’s debate episode, I’m not really sure what Patton would be like right after a heartbreak (as opposed to months after).

I feel like we all need the optimism that Float On has in our lives.

But yeah, this strikes me as Patton too. He tries to find the good in everything, even really shitty situations.

Backed my car into a cop car the other day Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did i say Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

Oh the optimism. I feel like if this were Virgil’s POV he would be freaking out, but Patton’s just trying to keep things calm and look on the Bright Side. We all have these kind of people in our lives right? Either they’re really helpful or really annoying?

And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands Good news will work its way to all them plans We both got fired on the exactly the same day Well we'll float on good news is on the way

Again, the optimism. Taking the chance to remind yourself that yeah, you learned something out of this shitty situation. Good news comes with bad. Something good will happen even if something bad does as well.

And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy We'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Alright already we'll all float on Ok don't worry we'll all float on Even if things get heavy we'll all float on Alright already we'll all float on Don't you worry we'll all float on All float on

At this point, I don’t know if this is supposed to be Patton comforting Virgil or himself. Or both.

But in the context of the sides, this is really just how you have to calm your anxiety. It’s just constantly what my therapist tells me to do when I start to feel anxious, just tell myself “it’s okay, I’m okay for xyz reasons, this’ll be okay, it’s all good, that situation didn’t go as bad as you think it did, it was actually pretty chill, it’s fine” while doing some deep breathing.

So Patton being like this with Virgil makes total sense to me. Him being Thomas’s morality also makes him be the “dad’ friend and therefore the more comforting side. When Thomas gives comfort, it’s the Patton shining through, so this song is one that definitely highlights that.

You know, I’m not sure if putting a Beatles song on here was purposeful, or if the lyrics just fit, but The Beatles is such a dad band. And I don’t mean that as an insult to anyone who like The Beatles, they’re a good song but like…how many of us have parents that grew up with The Beatles in their prime? I swear there’s a club of Parent Artist: The Beatles, Elvis, early Michele Jackson. There’s probably more.

A n y w a y

With a Little Help from My Friends is a cute and fun song, honestly. I guess you can’t have a Patton playlist without having at least one song about friends. We all know how much Thomas loves his friends (*insert gif of Logan saying “I think he cares about his friends* here)

What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song And I'll try not to sing out of key

Back to Patton being a dad character, this verse just kinda reminds me of a dad. Someone who would randomly burst into song and it probably be a little off key just to either 1) embarrass their kid or 2) make them laugh.

And I don’t mean an actual parent, necessarily. A friend or partner can be the same way. It also shows a bit of insecurity, like trying to make sure that the person he’s singing this to doesn’t leave if he ends up not singing that well.

What do I do when my love is away? Does it worry you to be alone? How do I feel by the end of the day? Are you sad because you're on your own?

This is another show of insecurities. Thomas’s lack of a romantic partner not only affects Roman, but Patton as well (see: the Moving On two parter). Roman wouldn’t be the only side feeling sad and lonely. Patton, needing that attention and validation just as much or maybe more than Roman, shares some of the same feelings.

No, I get by with a little help from my friends Mh, get high with a little help from my friends Mh, gonna try with a little help from my friends

I’m just going to go ahead and say that I’m not sure Patton would understand the high joke. I’m not even sure I understand the high joke.

But anyway, unlike Roman, Patton—being the source of Thomas’s love for his friends—would absolutely find that solace and validation through his friends. There’s a difference between platonic and romantic love, but as we see in the next verse, Patton just needs the love. He needs to be loved by other people in order to feel happy. Not to go all Logan, but looking at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, that kind of support is something you literally need in order to function as a human being.

Do you need anybody? I need somebody to love Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love

Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

I…really don’t want to talk about that last line. I’ll leave it there for your own interpretation.

Let’s just focus on the love at first sight line. Again, very Patton. He seems to me like someone who falls in love easily. And in this case, love at first sight doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic. Meeting someone who you just immediately click with is something that, yeah, happens all the time. Some of those people end up being lifelong friends (hi Kai).

Also I may be talking just from an ace perspective. It’s always been easy for me to love my friends (I relate very highly to Thomas in this regard).

But from a romantic (and I guess sexual??? But in my mind, that’s sorta Roman/Remus’s area. Also very uncomfy for me to talk about so we’re just not going to touch on it) perspective, yeah. Wanting romantic love is a hell of a drug. And in my opinion, romantic love at first sight is 100% possible and happens more than we probably think it does. And again, Patton (Thomas) strikes me as someone who falls in love easily, so it makes sense to me that he would relate to this idea.

Do you need anybody? I just need someone to love Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love

I feel that it’s important to note that at this point in the song, the singer sounds very tired. Like yes I just want somebody to love stop asking. It also strikes me as an affirmative to the questions asked. Yeah, it can be anybody. But in the repeated chorus that comes after, they also reiterate that they get by with help from their friends. Their friends are there and they help, even if they don’t fill the romantic hole. They still provide that support and love that can fuel someone who loves as strongly as Thomas does.

What Makes The World is another song I just love. It’s so fun to sing along with and it’s catchy and fun and it’s just great.

Also, and I know I probably sound like a broken record here, but it’s such a Patton song! And like, I know that’s the point! But still! It’s so good!

Oh, I heard that spreading hate is easy And kindness is beneath me But that ain't so And I heard that God ain’t worth believing And hearts are made for keeping But that ain't so Fear can be found in the heart of the proud Peace runs it out without making a sound

Patton’s such an optimist. He’s also stubborn, as hears can be. So believing in what these lyrics are saying is 100% him. Believing that kindness is easier than spreading hate, believing in God and knowing when to let go of someone, living in peace instead of fear. It’s all so Patton. It makes so much sense to his character and that these lyrics would speak to him.

What makes the world What makes the world What makes the world What makes the world keep spinning? What makes it all What makes it all What makes a life worth living now? Love makes the world go 'round

This is the only time I’m going to put the chorus, so let’s talk about it.

For someone like Thomas, who, as we’ve established, seems to love so easily, believing that love and kindness is what makes up the world and gives life worth makes a lot of sense. Thomas, as people would say, has a kind heart. He reminds me of characters like Steven Universe or Mable Pines, both characters who care a lot about those around them, their friends especially.

Also, just for lyrics themselves, they have a ring of truth to them. Being cynical and full of hate gets no one anywhere. Spreading love and kindness and happiness makes life a lot better, both for you and those around you. And it’s a mindset Patton has. It’s why he tries to keep the peace between the other sides. Having inner peace and inner kindness is super important, and I think it’s something he tries hard to keep up, even when things get rocky.

Oh, I heard to turn away a neighbor Is living without danger But that ain’t so Love is so much more than just a feeling It's comforting and it's healing For our souls

It’s really hard to analyze where there’s not much to analyze. Or sounding more of a broken record than I already am.

This just furthers the idea that Patton holds this kindness mindset close. Helping others is an important part of that, even and especially a neighbor. And maybe it does show a little bit of him being quick to trust, because while helping a neighbor out can be good, you should also be cautious because people are crazy. But in Patton’s mind, of course you should help! They are your neighbor after all!

Now the next verse is something that strikes me as something directed at Virgil and Logan, both of whom are reluctant to admit they love someone. But love is more than a feeling, it’s something that can encompass all of us. it’s a strong power, one that can be wielded for lots and lots of good.

And hey, loving oneself is important. Being loved by others is important. It’s really not something any of us could live without.

I could know the future I could tell you what it holds I could own the world And all its glitter and its gold I could have the faith To move mountains and the sea Without love, I don't have anything

This is a verse that pretty much translate to the last line in it. You can have all the power in the world, but without love, do you really have anything? It your life really whole?

And you know, I think Patton would remind himself of this a lot. Especially when Thomas is having another one of his dilemmas and Roman and Virgil or Roman and Logan are fighting again, when Thomas (and himself) start to feel down and doubtful. It’s a small thing, to some. After all, love can’t cure anxiety or depression. Love can’t solve every problem.

But it helps, even a little bit.

Do I even really need to put the lyrics here for Somewhere Over the Rainbow/It’s a Wonderful World? Don’t most of us just know these lyrics already?

Also can we just all appreciate the amazing talent of Israel Kamakawiwo’ole??? Such an amazing voice.

Anyway yeah I’m going to put the lyrics, because I know most of you aren’t going to want to look them up. Which is valid.

Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high And the dreams that you dreamed of Once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow Blue birds fly And the dreams that you dreamed of Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh Someday I'll wish upon a star Wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where trouble melts like lemon drops High above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me Oh somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly And the dream that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?

The Wizard of Oz honestly feels like a movie/show Patton would really like. Dorthy seems like someone he would relate to. Her kindness and optimism I feel like would speak to him. Also, she has a super cute dog.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is a very wistful song. It’s a song that promises that things will be better, one day. That you will achieve your dreams, even if those dreams aren’t wild. I think it really shows that Patton has dreams too, but not necessarily as big as Roman. This song is a lot more chill than the multiple on Roman’s playlist that talked about achieving your dreams. And this is the only song on here that really talks about dreams. And honestly in Patton’s case, it seems like his dream is to just be happy, however that may be.

Well I see trees of green and red roses too I'll watch them bloom for me and you And I think to myself What a wonderful world Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white And the brightness of day highlight the dark and I think to myself What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people passing by I see friends shaking hands Saying, "How do you do?" They're really saying, "I...I love you" I hear babies cry and I watch them grow They'll learn much more Than we'll know And I think to myself What a wonderful world, world

The entire meaning of What a Wonderful World is to marvel at all the little things that exist, like flowers blooming, the rainbow, the kindness people show one another. Of seeing the good in the world and really appreciating it.

That’s something Patton absolutely reminds Thomas to do. Think about how the generations after him will learn so much more about the world, everything that had to have happened for the sun to shine today, the beauty of everything around him. Really “stop and smell the roses” kind of vibe.

And maybe because it’s such a chill song, but it makes me think of sitting outside on a warm but not too warm spring day, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the sounds of nature. Or driving down a winding road in the mountains, appreciating the beauty of everything around you, how big the world is and how vast. Watching the birds fly overhead, watching people as you sit at a red light as you pass through a town. Wondering what their lives are like, if they’re doing okay, hoping that they’re in a good place.

Okay, I may have some experience with this.

But it’s also something I can imagine Thomas doing with some goading from Patton. Logan might be the “there’s a ton of stuff that had to have happened in order for you to exist so you should appreciate that” but Patton is the one who actually appreciates this (and the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a tragedy that Patton couldn’t be in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning).

Besides, if anything can appreciate being alive, it’s the heart.

Alright everyone, last two songs here we go

I honestly had no idea what Golden Slumbers brought to the playlist, other than it being a nice soft song that goes well with the transition to the end. then I realized this version of it was a cover of a Beatles song (I’m not that familiar with them okay?). So I wondered why they didn’t’ just put the original song on the playlist (I know there’s already a Beatles song on there, but they went to the trouble of putting the original version of I Need a Hero on Roman’s playlist and YES I am still salty it’s not the Shrek 2 version).

Turns out the cover is from a movie called I am Sam, and it’s about a disabled father raising his daughter to the best of his abilities. Now, I haven’t seen the movie, and I did just a little bit of research, so it could be totally missing the mark here. But the fact that the movie is about a father-child relationship felt a little too on the nose to ignore.

Now, as we all know, Patton is not really a father nor is he disabled. But a movie with such a moving plot and a high focus on the father’s determination to be a good one for his daughter seems to me like something Patton would very much, well, take to heart.

Once there was a way To get back homeward Once there was a way To get back home Sleep pretty darlin' Do not cry And I will sing a lullaby Golden Slumbers fill your eyes Smiles await you when you rise

These lyrics just repeat so…really this is all there is.

This song just brings comfort to the mind. I mean, that’s what lullabies are, right? Something to sing to your child when they can’t sleep in order to soothe their mind.

However, and allow me to get a little angsty and kinda headed into headcannon territory, it also seems like something one would use to comfort oneself. Maybe when they’re crying at night because some emotions are just too overwhelming, or they had a really bad day. A soft and sweet song to soothe the mind could be really helpful.

Now I’m not saying that that’s even remotely what Thomas and co were thinking when adding this song, but it was just something that popped into my head.

It’s so fitting that the last song is from Winnie the Pooh. I just love that. And be honest, how many of you are just now realizing it’s from Winnie the Pooh because you didn’t see the cover art at first? Huh? Huh? Just me? Okay.

I can’t decide if So Long is talking about Virgil or not. Like, I want it to be, but I don’t know if that’s actually it’s purpose.

It's not complicated but very hard to grasp But every time I see you I laugh I won't get too sappy, I've had no epiphany I just enjoy your company

See? Seems like Patton’s version of his friendship with Virgil. I mean, really, Virgil is the only one out of the other sides who Patton actively calls his friend. It’s clear he wants that relationship with Logan and Roman, but Patton and Virgil are really the only ones with any kind of clear friendship

You test my nerves, it makes me stronger So can you bother me a little bit longer? Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend

I feel like in the beginning, Virgil really did test Patton’s nerves. Patton wasn’t the number one Virgil fan until after Accepting Anxiety. Likely because Thomas had made the realization Virgil wasn’t the bad guy, but we’re getting off topic. Looking back at times before that arc, Patton seemed to only tolerate Virgil like the others did, though he did grow to Virgil faster than the others, even Thomas.

Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you Well, I could dot the I's and you could cross the T's 'Cause letters alone are lonely

God that’s so cute.

Anyway, yeah, very Patton imagery there. Kinda reminds me of the puppet episode, the simplicity of it. But giving the letters a “buddy” makes me think of Patton being Virgil’s buddy. It also makes them complete, and Virgil completes their little group.

Well, I could be the blossom and you could be the bee And then I could call you honey

Again, two things that go together, making something better.

Also, again with the very cute imagery.

You test my nerves, it makes me stronger So can you bother me a little bit longer? Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you Some like to be alone, independent and on their own All alone, I guess they're free but not me, not me

Yeah, Patton being a loner isn’t really something that adds up. He’s very sociable and likes to be around the others. I mean, Thomas loves being around his friends, so it makes sense that Patton would be bored being alone, or just straight up dislike it.

Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you

Okay i’m actually going to address the phrase that’s repeated a thousand times.

Remember how Patton said he likes to leave his room when they have to have a T party because he gets to see the others? Well it was kinda implied that he doesn’t always like going back. He likes interacting with the others and hanging out with them. A lot of times in the episodes, he seems excited to see the others when they come up (or appear, in Virgil’s case).

Or, there is one more conclusion I can make to this song.

This is Patton talking to…well, us. the listeners. We’ve spent the past hour listening to his songs, ones he put together (look at the descriptions of the playlists. They’re all implied to have been together by each side). So, after to listening to all these songs he “used to listen to when {he} was {our} age…and {his} age now” it would make sense in my mind that he would then consider us friends and this is his way of saying goodbye.

“I had a good time with you, kiddos, I hate to see you go! Come back some time. So long!”

#sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #patton's playlist analysis

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