#the absolute plotline of this is so fitting

[anthonycrowley]

genuinely cannot tell if you liked the new season or fucking hated it with every inch of your soul

it's complicated. it's layered.

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[steveharrington]

can you elaborate more on steve being abandoned by the narrative?

yes <3 so i think there are two very unfortunate circumstances surrounding steve's character that have led to the current state of his plotline: 1. after not killing him in s1 like they originally planned, the duffers have never really had a plan for steve and 2. they are extremely influenced by audiences. when they were conceptualizing steve to fit in among the ensemble cast, the duffers were picturing him as a douchey boyfriend who unceremoniously dies. lonnie was originally going to come back to the byers house to save jonathan and nancy. there was no need to picture where he'd be 4 seasons down the road, so they just didn't account for that. then joe keery charmed them so hard that they literally couldn't bear to kill him, so steve ends season one still somehow alive.

but we've already established the nancy/jonathan plotline, because jonathan was once the duffers' self-insert who must defeat the evil jock and win over the girl. they couldn't just backpedal on that right away, so they needed to give nancy and jonathan a plotline alone, away from steve. but steve only ever functioned as an extension of nancy until this point, so what do we do with steve now? in an accidental stroke of genius that the duffers have admitted was a last second decision, they pair him with the children and make him into a babysitter. it almost instantly boosts steve into being tied with hopper and el for most popular character from the show, potentially even beats them both out. in 2017 when s2 aired, you could not escape mom steve jokes. it was everywhere, steve was everywhere, joe was everywhere, it was arguably the second coming of #justice for barb, which, in netflix business-y terms, was the exact viral meme type situation that the show wanted and needed to sell merch and remain relevant and say "see we still got it!!!"

you know who has the 2nd most lines in the entirety of season three? directly behind hopper? ahead of winona ryder? steve. think for a second about how absolutely insane that is. the character who was written specifically to die in season one. joe keery's name wasn't even in the season one credits, because he wasn't considered a series regular. and now he has the 2nd most spoken lines in the big blockbuster season because he rocketed up in popularity so intensely. season three marketing features the mall so heavily, creates a literal physical shrine to 80s nostalgia, and when the very first promo is released an entire year before the season airs, who's the star of that teaser trailer? and who, pray tell, is featured in the main brand sponsorship ad that plays in movie theaters worldwide? thats right its america's little darling steve harrington.

but here is the issue. the duffers look at what made steve popular and they see: funny exasperated babysitter, heartthrob action hero. they're like oh okay so we should keep putting him directly in the center of the action, bang him up every season to give him his classic bloodied aesthetic, but. he still needs to be funny. we can almost kill him, but we can't actually kill him because he's profitable. we can let him get horrifically injured because it's badass, but we still gotta let him crack jokes. it creates this very weird tone to steve's role in the story starting in season 3 because he's both the action hero and the comedic relief and protected by plot armor, so we get scenes where he's being literally tortured until he's begging for his life and gasping for breath but the tone is still.......fun? comedic? light and goofy? i think the duffers also forgot he's supposed to be a teenager.

now this is partially me making educated guesses but i feel pretty confident about this: once again, like gollum, joe keery uses his big shiny eyes and manages to evade death again in season four by being so likable and charming and marketable that netflix execs or shawn levy or maybe even the duffers themselves were like oh fuck we just can't do it. they were obviously tossing around the idea of taking mom steve all the way by letting him die sacrificially for dustin, so in season four they make eddie, transfer steve's relationship with dustin directly onto him, ctrl f steve's name in the death scene and just type in eddie instead, and once again steve is alive but he's directionless.

so what does he have now, in season four? i think the duffers have a whiteboard somewhere with steve's name and around it are little circles that say "funny" "cool" "DO NOT KILL" and steve is now stuck in this endless cycle of getting beaten up, popping back up somehow unharmed like a looney tune, saying something cute and oblivious, rinse and repeat. because that's what worked, that's what made him popular all the way back in season two. that's what the duffers are obviously keeping in mind when they're writing steve: popularity. not realism, not depth, not growth, just literally how to continue making him popular. meanwhile, other characters get to be part of the actual story. other characters get to serve a purpose other than selling merch. when el is bitten by a monster, she gets to actually feel pain and need help because that's realistically what any human would need. when hopper is tortured, he gets to suffer and ponder his existence and reflect on the relationships in his life. steve never gets any of that, because the writers just don't see steve as the 19 year old boy on his 4th straight year of traumatic events that he actually is.

they literally just see him as a money maker, there for cool viral moments and witty lines and maybe the occasional emotion experienced but only if it's about his romantic prospects. and the narrative that other characters get to have and be apart of just kinda runs parallel to steve. he's there, technically, but he's not really in the story. and it's like actually crazy because you'd think after all the funko pops he sold, he'd have earned an actual storyline!!!

[splendorofnobility]

As a big fan of GF and the Relativity Falls AU, I ended up thinking over how to alter some of the plotlines to have it fit the stans better than just "the character they're taking the place of". This is only for episodes where I feel one character already has more of a focus, with the exception of the first episode. This is what I have currently, but I'd be glad to continue this if people find it interesting, and I'd love to hear people's thoughts.

Tourist Trapped is pretty similar, though I see Ford, who's still on the excitement kick of both finding the journal and seeing what he's convinced as an actual zombie, as the one to get himself into trouble by trying to do some snooping and accidentally stumbling into the gnome's territory. (Just so we're clear, Ford absolutely picks up the grappling hook since Stan is scared of heights. Why does Mabel have those in her store? I dunno. Why did Stan)

As someone who is a fan of the "Bill and Gideon swap" concept for this AU, while he's still a fraud of a pre-teen who's using things he finds in the journal (instead of an amulet of telekinesis, his power source gives him pseudo pyrokinesis), Bill is more of a stage magician than a psychic in his performances. Ford doesn't completely buy it, but he does end up spending the day with him as a peer who enjoys more quiet and anomaly related hobbies than his brother. Aside from that, though, it gets pretty similar to how it already is.

Episode 6 is an interesting one to me, because I could see an interesting take on it for either twin (Ford trying to be a more "conventional" man to stop being reliant on Stan to fight for him and coming to the realization that "manliness" doesn't mean an inability to ask for help, or Stan trying to adopt and instead hating and rejecting a rather toxic masculinity type of life). Really, pick whichever.

As the last for now, Stan wins Gompers the goat from the carnival, but a science fair competition at the same event ends up with Ford taking second to Fiddleford due to unforeseen circumstances. His pride refuses to take second, so he ends up rewinding time to attempt to win, but after realizing that if he wins his brother loses the first friend that isn't him he's had, he swallows his pride and rewinds again to concede in the competition so his brother can have Gompers.

I'm not saying these are all perfect, but they've been running through my mind and I thought I'd throw them out there for anyone who's as into this AU as I am.

[smilingformoney]

Icebreaker | Alexander Dane/Reader

I. Never Meet Your Heroes

Summary: As a budding actress and a big fan of Alexander Dane, all your dreams are coming true when you land a role in Galaxy Quest opposite your favourite actor. To your disappointment, Alexander doesn't seem to like you very much - but unbeknownst to you, he's trying desperately to ignore his attraction to you.

Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:

You were almost vibrating with excitement on your first day on set.

You hadn’t taken part in the table read, as your casting was so last minute, so this was your first time meeting the cast and your first time playing the scene would be when the cameras were rolling. You were nervous, but you didn’t mind - you’d spent plenty of time as a theatre understudy, so you were used to playing a scene against someone you hadn’t rehearsed with. What you weren’t used to, however, was playing against such famous names.

If that weren’t enough, your main scene partner was to be none other than Alexander Dane, who just so happened to be your favourite actor in the world.

You wouldn’t quite say you were obsessed with him, but you had seen all his films, and you’d even managed to see him perform Shakespeare in London once, though you’d missed out on seeing him at the stage door. You also had a poster from his performance as Richard III on your wall, and hidden away in notebooks you’d never shared with anyone were fanfictions you’d written about his Galaxy Quest character, mostly involving romances between Dr Lazarus and characters you’d made up that totally weren’t stand-ins for yourself.

And now… you were actually going to play a love interest to Lazarus!

All your dreams were coming true. Your first TV role, in Galaxy Quest, with Alexander Dane, playing Lazarus’ love interest!

You absolutely, resolutely, could not fuck this up.

Your character’s name was Bethany, a fellow member of the Mak’Tar race, who, like Lazarus, believed herself to be the last of the race until she and Lazarus meet by chance and the two are faced with the question of whether they should procreate to repopulate their species.

On your arrival, you met with the production assistant, who led you to hair and make-up to be fitted with a cap similar to the one Alexander wore to make yourself look like an alien.

You were almost done, your hair now completely hidden by the cap and the last of your make-up being applied, when the door was thrown open and none other than Alexander Dane stepped through and sat himself down in the chair next to yours, completely ignoring you, which was fortunate because it gave you an opportunity to close your mouth when you gaped at him.

“Let’s get this blasted thing on quickly, Lena, I want to get today over with,” Alexander grumbled.

Lena, the make-up artist, rolled her eyes and continued working on you with hardly a flinch at Alexander’s abrasive attitude.

“I’m nearly done here, Alexander, then I’ll be with you.”

Alexander looked over and seemed to finally notice you. He frowned, then saw the matching cap on your head, and rolled his eyes.

“They’re going ahead with this bloody plotline, then,” he grumbled, then immediately grabbed a magazine from the dresser and stuck his nose in it.

You hadn’t said a word, and yet somehow you felt like you’d managed to fuck up your meeting with him.

“Don’t mind him, [Y/n],” said Lena, apparently completely unaffected by Alexander’s grumpiness. “He’s always like this. I must be his least favourite person on set because I’m the one who puts his cap on.”

“Third least,” Alexander replied from behind his magazine. “After Jason and Frank.”

“Jason Nesmith, he plays Taggart,” Lena explained to you. “And —”

“Frank Ross, the creator, I assume,” you finished.

Lena smiled. “You’ve done your homework!”

“I watch the show, I know who created it.”

Alexander groaned and lowered his magazine to finally look at you, albeit via the mirror. “Great, they hired another fan. When did this show stop hiring actors?”

“I can be both!” you said defensively. “Besides, what’s wrong with hiring fans? There’s no point in creating art if you don’t love it.”

“Pfft. I’d hardly call this show art. It’s nothing but meaningless drivel, and this episode’s no different, so don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’re creating something great just because you’re on TV.”

“All done!” Lena announced, ignoring Alexander, and she stepped aside to let you examine yourself in the mirror. “What do you think?”

“Wow, that is weird,” you laughed, turning your head to the side to examine your new alien look. “You can’t even tell I’ve got hair underneath! I look pretty good, actually, maybe I’ll shave my head after this.”

Alexander scoffed. “Take the cap with you, make it a new fashion trend.”

“Right, Alexander, it’s your turn!” Lena announced, and the actor just sighed.

“Fine, let’s get it over with.”

Lena gave you directions to the costume department and you left feeling even more anxious than before about your scenes with Alexander Dane.

---

Although your background was in theatre, you knew from industry knowledge that in film and TV, scenes were never filmed in order. So it was a surprise to you that your first scene of the day was actually your first scene of the episode. Your character Bethany was locked in a futuristic alien zoo, gaped at daily by an alien species that marvelled at “the last Mak’Tar.” That was, until the crew of the Protector came by to rescue another alien from their zoo habitat, and Lazarus found Bethany in her cage.

You ran through the scene with the director a few times before Alexander’s arrival. Once he did arrive, he only talked quickly with the director before getting into position, and suddenly you were moments away from your first scene.

The director raised her megaphone. “ACTION!”

Lazarus approached the invisible barrier that surrounded the habitat, staring in disbelief at the figure curled up on the floor. The floor itself was wet sand with small pools of seawater, just like the environment of his home planet of Tev’Meck. Without the rest of the zoo in his periphery, he might even have believed he was back on Tev’Meck.

He glanced down at the information screen. It was all written in an alien language he couldn’t speak, but he recognised two words: Mak’Tar and Tev’Meck.

Lazarus walked around the enclosure slowly, trying not to wake the figure on the floor, until he was able to get a good look at them. Sure enough, they shared his physiology. Could it really be that another one of his kind was here, in this zoo?

A crash in the distance caused Lazarus to look up suddenly. Taggart, no doubt, causing chaos as he attempted to escape with the alien he’d come to recover.

He had to get out of there. And if there was a chance this sleeping figure really was another Mak’Tar, he had to get them out of there too.

Lazarus circled back around to the information panel and hacked the operational code he’d learnt earlier before coming to save their target. A few beeps later, the forcefield was down, and Lazarus stepped into the habitat, crouching down by the figure to wake them.

“Hello?” he whispered. “Can you hear me?”

He grabbed the figure’s shoulder, rolled them onto their back, and recoiled slightly in shock. It was a female Mak’Tar!

The woman opened her eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep, frowning in confusion at seeing a figure looming over her.

Lazarus composed himself and knelt down again.

“It’s alright, I’m here to help. My name is Lazarus, I’m a Mak’Tar too. What’s your name?”

“…Bethany,” replied the woman, pausing as if it took her a moment to remember.

“Well, Bethany, how would you like to escape?”

“I… I think I’d like that very much.”

Lazarus smiled and nodded. “Excellent. Take my hand.”

He stood, and Bethany took his outstretched hand. Wow, his hands are soft , you thought as Lazarus pulled Bethany to her feet. She took a step, but stumbled. Lazarus glanced down and saw that she was favouring her left foot, her right being bandaged. Without hesitation, Lazarus threw her arm around his shoulder and helped her stumble out into the corridor.

“Cut!”

For your first take, you thought it had gone pretty well. You hadn’t messed up once! Whether or not Alexander agreed, you weren’t sure, because he simply released your arm from his grip and immediately walked back to his original mark for the second take.

You ran through the scene three more times, filming from different angles each time, until the director concluded the scene finished.

What amazed you about Alexander was the way he switched between Lazarus and Alexander with ease. Action - he was a hero, a lone survivor who had to contain himself at the possibility of finding another survivor in favour of concentrating on a quick exit. He was smiling as he pulled Bethany to her feet, his eyes warm and kind, and just a little excited. Cut - he was an actor, a grumpy thespian stuck in a job he hated, just getting through the day until he could throw the cap back in Lena’s face and stomp off home. He let go of you as soon as he could, not looking at you or even acknowledging your existence outside of the scene.

Ever heard the saying never meet your heroes? Well, you were discovering now why that was true. Alexander Dane was your favourite actor, your idol, your celebrity crush and the reason you’d pursued acting in the first place. And, it turned out, he was a massive jackass.

You weren’t naïve; you hadn’t gone into this expecting your crush to fall in love with you and whisk you off on some romance. You hadn’t even expected to make friends with him. But you had hoped to at least have a good working relationship with him for the week you were there and to come away with some fun stories about the week you spent on the set of Galaxy Quest.

Apparently, that wasn’t to be. So you resolved yourself to give the best performance you could and hope the fans liked your character when the episode aired.

Your next scene took place on the viewing deck, Bethany having successfully escaped the alien zoo and finding herself on board the Protector. You stood in front of the glass that separated you from the green screen that would be replaced in post-production with the vast expanse of the cosmos, gazing thoughtfully through the window as the director took some establishing shots of you standing alone.

When she was happy with the solo shots, the director called action for Alexander to make his entrance.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lazarus said as he stepped up beside Bethany, looking out at the cosmos and remembering what it was like for him when he first looked out into space from the safety of the ship.

“It’s terrifying,” Bethany replied quietly, and Lazarus frowned at her.

“Terrifying?”

“It’s so big… so easy to get lost.” She raised a hand and lightly placed her fingertip against the glass, covering an entire galaxy with just her fingertip. “How many species are out there?”

“Billions, I suppose. It’s impossible to count. Trillions of life forms… and none of them like us.”

Bethany looked up at him. Alexander’s profile was illuminated by the stage lights, emphasising the outline of his nose.

“How can you be sure? Maybe others survived. We did.”

Lazarus shook his head sadly. “I don’t think so. Even if there are… the chances of finding them are minuscule. It’s a miracle I ran into you.” He looked down at her and smiled, not a trace of Alexander’s regular irritation on his features. Lazarus was only kind, curious, and a little hesitant. “Perhaps it’s fortunate that I found you. So we can… keep the Mak’Tar species alive.”

“For now.” Bethany looked back out at the vast cosmos. “We’ll both die eventually, though. Then the Mak’Tar are done for.”

Lazarus hesitated. “Not necessarily. There would be more of us if we were to… make more.”

Bethany kept her gaze firmly fixed on the expansive view from the window.  She blushed slightly - you had never quite grasped forcing the blood to rush to your cheeks, but you could at least act as if it had - then shook her head.

“No, I… I think it’s best not.”

Lazarus was stunned. He collected himself and said, “And let our species die?”

Bethany turned back to Lazarus, and as much as you understood her motivations, you selfishly wished the scene were to end with a passionate make out session.

“It’s survival of the strongest, Lazarus,” Bethany said. You very suddenly realised you’d missed a line, but your theatre instincts kicked in, and you continued. “Our people were squashed like bugs when someone stronger came along. One day, our conquerors will be destroyed by someone or something stronger than them. And so the cycle continues - until there’s nothing left. Why delay the inevitable?”

“All our history, our culture - gone —”

Bethany shook her head. “It’s not gone. It’s just a story now.”

The script called for Lazarus to be speechless, so you gave Alexander a few moments to let the emotions play out on his face, then Bethany glanced out the window again.

“I think I’ll ask to be dropped off on Atera. It always looked very pretty in the books.”

She glanced uncertainly at Lazarus one last time, and when his stunned silence continued, she walked away, leaving him alone with the crushing disappointment that he wouldn’t save his species after all.

“Cut! Great first go, guys, but [Y/n], you missed a line. After Alexander says ‘and let our species die’ —”

“‘Nothing lasts forever.’ Yeah, I know, sorry. Got ahead of myself.”

“Well, at least you kept going,” Alexander said as he came up to where you were standing to take his starting position again. “Most TV actors would have broken character, swore loudly then insisted on trying the whole thing again. You held it together like a true thespian.”

You smiled coyly. He was complimenting you!

“Well, my career has been theatre so far. I’m used to having to improvise on the spot without breaking character.”

Alexander smirked at you conspiratorially. “Honestly, I enjoy it. Keeps me on my toes. On camera, you stop and start again when you make a mistake - everything has to be so perfect. And once the filming’s done, that’s it, no going back. In theatre, you do it a little differently every night. It’s so much more…”

He paused, looking for the right word.

“Organic?”

Alexander looked at you with surprise, as if it were a wonder you understood.

You wanted to talk to him more about theatre, something you both clearly loved, but you had to do the scene five more times to get the right camera angles, so you returned to your mark by the window and readied yourself to do the whole thing over again.

When the scene was finally declared finished, you were done for the day, so you returned to the make-up room to get your cap taken off. Alexander had one more scene to do on the brig, so once Lena had released your hair from its captivity and you were back in your regular Earth clothes, you snuck into the back of the set to watch the cast wrapping up. When else would you get an opportunity to see a classic Galaxy Quest brig room scene being filmed?

Jason Nesmith was giving one of his classic Taggart speeches, all the crew showing rapt attention except for Lazarus, who was seemingly distracted.

The speech concluded, the crew applauded and set to work, and Taggart swaggered up to Lazarus at his station.

“Lazarus! Something up, buddy? You didn’t applaud or nod once during my speech. Was it not inspiring enough for you?”

Lazarus looked up at his captain and smiled good-naturedly. “Very inspiring, Captain, thank you. My apologies, I was…”

He glanced forward thoughtfully, looking at the cosmos through the window and remembering his conversation with Bethany earlier. Alexander in fact looked behind the cameras, and straight at you.

“…distracted,” he finished.

“Ah, thinking of that new girl, are ya? Not surprised, she’s a pretty one. I presume. If she had hair instead of your head thing, I’d think she was pretty. Suppose she’s pretty to you, isn’t she?”

“Mhm…” Lazarus responded, Alexander’s eyes still fixed directly on you. He blinked, as if snapping himself out of a trance, then turned back towards Taggart. “Yes, I suppose she is. Excuse me, Captain.”

He stood and exited the scene by the doors at the back. Jason finished the scene with a conversation with Gwen DiMarco, then the director called cut.

“Great take, everyone! Alexander - your best one yet. You really sold us on how conflicted Lazarus is. Alright, that’s a wrap for today, we’ve got some sets to prepare over the weekend so we’ll see you all bright and early on Monday!”

The crew began shutting down and you slipped back out so as to not get in the way. You were at the cloakroom collecting your coat and bag when Alexander, still in his costume, came up to you, taking you by surprise.

“Jesus! Sorry, Alexander, you scared me.”

He smirked. “Sorry. I just wanted to say, you weren't awful today. Did you say you came from theatre?”

You blushed, and you could feel that this time your cheeks really had gone red. “Oh - wow, thanks. Erm, yeah, nothing major, I’ve just been understudying the last couple of years.”

“Nonsense, understudies are vital! Learning everyone’s roles and being ready to take any one of them on at any moment? No wonder you did so well today without rehearsal. Listen, the cast and I are heading out to a bar tonight. It’s not often we get a whole weekend off. Would you like to join us?”

Surprise and excitement sprung up inside your chest. Surprise that the man who’d been grumpy all day was suddenly being nice, and excitement at the chance to socialise with the Galaxy Quest cast.

“Sure, I’d love to! Where are we going?”

Alexander winced. “Paolo’s Karaoke Bar. I’d avoid that place like the plague myself, but there are private rooms so we won’t be disturbed by fans, and the beer is good.”

“How many beers do I have to buy you to convince you to sing?” you grinned.

“I’ll be blackout drunk getting my stomach pumped before you get a note out of me. Is that a yes?”

“Yes, I’d love to come!”

“Great - and no recording any of it,” Alexander added sternly as you slipped your coat off again and came back inside to wait for everyone to finish getting out of their costumes. “If even a single photo of this ends up on Twitter, I’m holding you personally accountable. We don’t usually invite fans to join us, but since technically you’re an actor…”

“No tweeting, got it. I do just need to let my roommate know where I’m going, though. In case of, you know, murder.”

Alexander frowned at you.

“It’s a girl thing. Go, get de-capped, I’ll wait here.”

Alexander sighed, muttered something about young people, and left you waiting in the hallway, wondering what the night had in store for you.

---

You didn’t remember much of the taxi ride to Alexander’s house. Apparently it took half an hour, but you hardly paid attention, as you were far too busy snogging him in the back seat to care how long you’d been in the car for.

You came up for air when the taxi pulled up to the house, and once you ungracefully clamoured out of the car, Alexander paid the driver while you stared up at the Beverly Hills mansion.

“You live here alone?!” you gasped.

“Welcome to the rich side of town,” Alexander replied, his feet as unsteady as yours as he approached you and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Wanna see the inside?”

“Hell yes.”

After some fumbling with his keys, Alexander managed to get the front door open and he ushered you inside. He switched on the lights, and you gasped at just how huge and open the space was. Half the walls were all window, and those that were actual wall were lined with posters from Alexander’s previous projects - mostly his theatre shows, with a few films here and there.

“That’s the one I have,” you laughed, pointing to the poster of him from Richard III.

Alexander wrapped his arms around you from behind, his erection pressing into your arse as he held you close. “Is that so? How many wanks did teen [Y/n] have staring at that poster?”

“Far too many to count.”

“Did you imagine your fingers were mine?” Alexander murmured softly in your ear, one hand travelling tauntingly slowly past the waistband of your trousers. “Did you slip them inside trying to emulate my cock? Because believe me, mere fingers couldn’t come even close to stretching you the way my cock can.”

“I - I have a vibrator named after you,” you admitted, anticipating building up inside you when Alexander cupped your cunt with his hand, savouring the warmth you were radiating against him.

“My, you really are a naughty thing, aren’t you? Let’s see if my fingers live up to your imagination.”

You gasped as he slipped his middle finger inside you, firm and thick, his skin slightly rough and absolutely nothing like your own.

Alexander kept one arm firmly around your chest, a hand cupping your breast through your top, and you had to lean back into him to stay upright. He buried his face in your neck, teeth and tongue exploring your skin, his hair tickling your face slightly. His thumb circled your lower lips, searching for that sweet spot, and when he found it, you moaned, which quickly turned into a hiccup.

Alexander smirked against your neck, but when you hiccupped again, he paused his sensual movements.

“Hic - sorry,” you mumbled, your head spinning slightly from the combination of alcohol and arousal.

“Sit down, I’ll get you some water,” Alexander said softly. He pulled his hand out of your pants, which you thoroughly disliked, but you did feel better when he deposited you on the couch and went into the kitchen to fetch you some water. The couch was warm and soft, and you felt like you could just sink into it and sleep as comfortably as on a bed…

The next thing you knew, you were lying on your front, your eyes blinking open, though you quickly squeezed them shut when you saw the sunlight pouring in from the window.

You buried your face in the pillow and let out a groan. Your head was pounding. Great, you’d woken up with a migraine.

No… it wasn’t a migraine. It was a hangover. You could feel the familiar ache in your stomach as it tried to digest the alcohol you’d consumed.

You’d been hungover enough in the past to know your routine. Toilet, coffee, a greasy breakfast and a shower, in that order.

You reluctantly sat up in the bed, your eyes adjusting to the light, and your heart skipped a beat in fear for a moment when you didn’t recognise your surroundings. Whose bed were you in if not your own?!

You looked around for a clue, and on a wall was a glaringly obvious one - a massive four-panel framed art piece featuring Alexander Dane’s brooding headshot.

Oh god, you were in Alexander Dane’s bed.

…Alone. Where was the man himself?

You rolled out of the superking-sized bed, which was difficult as you were slap bang in the middle. You reached the edge eventually, and when you threw the covers back and sat up, you noticed that your trousers and bra had been discarded, but you still had your top on.

You trudged into the en-suite bathroom, which was bigger than your own bedroom, and sat down on the toilet. You’d solve the mystery of how you ended up alone in Alexander Dane’s bed in a bit - you had to take care of business first.

When that was done, you were feeling a bit more awake, and managed to find your discarded trousers on the floor. You couldn’t find your bra, so you pushed that thought aside for later, and turned your attention to finding Alexander.

He was, you discovered, fast asleep on the sofa in the living room, mouth gaping most inelegantly as he snored, one leg bent and the other splayed on the floor, with one arm on his chest and the other behind his head.

You nudged him softly. When he didn’t respond, you tickled his exposed armpit.

“What the fuck!” Alexander grumped as he shot awake, his arm instinctively clamping down against his side to protect himself from any further tickle attacks. He blinked, delirious, then saw you standing over him and frowned. “[Y/n]? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that,” you replied. “Last I remember we were at the bar, next thing I know I’m waking up in your bed without you in it.”

Alexander sat up, looking just as affronted by the light as you were, and he rubbed his temple.

“I don’t remember anything after the bar either,” he mumbled. “Why am I on the couch?”

“Dunno. I’d suggest you were a gentleman and insisted I took the bed, but from what I’ve learnt of you in the last day, you probably just collapsed on the sofa and I took the bed for myself.”

Alexander grunted, then yawned. “Ugh. Want some coffee?”

“If you’re offering.”

“‘Course I am. More of a gentleman than you seem to think.”

Alexander pushed himself up off the couch and shuffled off towards the kitchen, then paused halfway to pick something up from the armchair.

“This yours?”

He turned and offered you your own bra, and you blushed.

“Oh… yeah, I was wondering where that was.”

Alexander passed it to you without much thought, then continued his half-asleep trek to the kitchen, leaving you to wonder why the fuck your bra had been discarded on the armchair.

You quickly pulled off your top and set about putting your bra back on, trying to be quick before Alexander saw you, but of course by hurrying you fumbled more with the catch and it took you longer than you’d have liked before you finally got the straps over your shoulders and pulled your top back over your head.

“How do you like it?” Alexander asked when you entered the kitchen.

“Strong and black.”

“A woman after my own heart.”

You blushed again and sat yourself on a stool, looking around the kitchen, trying to remember something, anything, from your journey between the bar and Alexander’s bed.

“I vaguely recall offering you to stay at mine rather than get a taxi to your place alone,” Alexander said after a few moments. He was staring at the coffee maker as it boiled, as if his memories from last night were in there. “But after that, nothing until you attacked my armpit.”

“I don’t even remember that much. I think my memory ran out of storage about 2am.”

“So you remember karaoke then?”

You grinned. “Yes, I remember karaoke.”

“Mmph. Unfortunately so do I.”

Alexander poured you a hot cup of coffee, and when the first sip of the bitter drink passed your lips, you felt as if your soul had been renewed.

“That is the best thing I have ever tasted in the history of anything,” you sighed happily. “Both because I desperately need caffeine and because that’s a damn good coffee.”

“Some fancy stuff Gwen got me for Christmas,” Alexander said, leaning against the counter as he cradled his own cup like it was his salvation. “I don’t usually share it, so you should be honoured.”

You smiled. “It’s the greatest of honours.”

You were silent for a few minutes as you savoured your drinks, you trying to recall the previous night and he remembering small slivers of moments as his memory slowly came back to him.

He remembered coming back from the kitchen with a glass of water only to find you’d passed out on the sofa. He had tried to wake you, but you were out cold, so instead he hoisted you up and carried you to his bed. Exhaustion hit him, and he didn’t want to share a bed with you without your permission, so he relegated himself to the sofa instead.

That was all he remembered. How your bra had ended up on the armchair, he had no idea, because he was certain he’d dumped you on the bed fully dressed.

Once he’d managed to send you on your way, Alexander sat down at his computer and logged on to boot up the security programme. He had installed security cameras around his house in case of a break-in, not in case of lost drunken memories, but he absolutely had to know why your bra had made its way to the armchair.

He loaded the living room camera from the previous night and scrubbed through the footage until he saw the two of you walk in through the front door, then he slowed down and watched.

You came in first, followed by him, and - oh, god. His hand was down your trousers almost instantly. You looked very pleased with his actions, but you were clearly wasted - almost as soon as he left to fetch you some water, you sat down on the sofa and passed out.

Alexander watched as he carried you into the bedroom, then returned shortly after to pass out on the sofa himself. The armchair was still braless so he sped up the footage, until about an hour later when you appeared at the doorway.

He’d apparently not fallen asleep yet or was sleeping lightly, because you had only to say something to have him sitting up. You perched yourself on the arm of the armchair, the two of you exchanged words with each other - Alexander cursed himself for not having audio recording on this thing - and, to his own surprise, he stood up from the sofa, crossed the room in a few long strides, and his lips were on yours.

He watched himself sit on the chair and pull you onto his lap, and from the camera’s angle he could mostly just see your back, but it was plain that the two of you were kissing passionately. His arms wrapped around you and held you close, then grabbed the bottom of your shirt and pulled the whole thing over your head. You reached behind to unclasp your bra and threw it over the back of the armchair, where he’d find it later that morning.

Alexander sighed. What on earth had he been thinking?

Well, that was no question at all. His stupid, primal, drunk man brain had thought, Woman wants to fuck me. Dick wants to fuck woman. Must obey dick.

Never mind how young you were, or how drunk, or the fact that you were a bloody fan, probably just eager to tell your friends that you’d scored with Dr Lazarus.

He watched the screen anxiously, waiting for something to happen that he’d regret. He watched as you pulled away from the kiss to say something, and his horny, drunk self grinned excitedly.

Had he really fucked you and forgotten all about it?

On the screen, you said something else, and his past self paused. He said something, you replied, and he shook his head.

You seemed to protest, but he insisted and pushed you off his lap. You were apparently irritated, by the way that you grabbed your top and stormed off, leaving him to drag himself back to the sofa and fall back asleep, both of you leaving the bra behind on the armchair.

Alexander scrubbed through the footage just to be sure, but nothing else happened until you appeared hours later to wake him up.

He closed the footage and leant back in his chair with a sigh. He was relieved he’d apparently changed his mind about your drunken fumble, but now he had a conundrum. Should he tell you what the footage showed? Surely you too were wondering how the bra got there. Or did you know? You’d seemed just as confused as he was, and in fact seemed to not remember anything at all about coming back to his house. Or maybe you were just covering it up by pretending not to remember anything at all.

What would be the point in telling you? “Hey, [Y/n], I checked my cameras and we almost hooked up but apparently I changed my mind and sent you to bed. Just letting you know.”

If you knew, you might think it meant you had a chance with him. Alexander didn’t have anything against dating other actors, but he did have a strict rule about fans. He couldn’t possibly be with someone, whether for one night or long term, who just saw him as Dr Lazarus. Besides, if you liked the show, that clearly meant you had straw for brains, and he had higher standards than that.

No, he decided, it was best you didn’t know about that little fumble. On your next filming day, he would be nothing but professional, and any idea you might have of having a chance with him would quickly disappear.

---

Alexander’s version of “being professional” was to be even ruder to you than usual. You had no idea why he was being so abrasive, but he hardly spoke to you in the make-up room, chatting exclusively to Lena and giving you short, one or two word answers if he had to speak to you at all.

With no memory of the events on Friday, you could only conclude that Alexander just didn’t like you, though he didn’t seem to like anyone, so you tried not to take it personally. Even so, being rejected by your favourite actor for no apparent reason was soul-crushing to say the least.

You knew trying to talk to him and getting rebuffed would just upset you, so you decided to follow his lead and keep conversation to a minimum. While the cameras were rolling, you had an intense, uncertain relationship between your characters, but as soon as the cameras stopped, Alexander was back to ignoring you.

Even with his cold attitude towards you, you still managed to make the most of the experience, choosing to focus instead on the thrill of being on the Galaxy Quest set. Your character was in three episodes, arriving towards the end of your first episode, spending your second episode travelling with the crew, and in the third episode they dropped her off on a planet to settle down after her years in captivity.

The second episode was the most fun to film, because you got to be part of the crew for a while, and interacting with the other actors helped you forget Alexander’s permanent cold shoulder.

Just as you’d filmed your first scene first, you filmed your last scene last, and you travelled out on location for the scene, which was set on the planet of Atera.

Bethany said her goodbyes to the crew as they climbed aboard the ship to set off again, waiting on board as Lazarus stayed behind to speak to her alone.

“You’re sure you won’t come with us?” he asked. “There’s so much more to see out there.”

Bethany smiled sadly and nodded. “I’m sure. I need to figure out who I am outside of a cage before I go looking for adventure. But…”

She took his hand, which was soft again - did Alexander Dane moisturise?

“I’m very glad I met you, Lazarus. I thought I was alone in the universe, but… now I know you’re out there, I won’t feel so alone anymore.”

He looked at her searchingly, almost imploringly, as if looking for a last-minute way to convince her to stay.

“I’ll miss you,” Lazarus admitted.

“I’ll miss you too. Will you visit?”

“I want to… but we don’t often return where we’ve been.”

“Oh,” Bethany said sadly, glancing away, and your heart skipped a beat when Lazarus gently put an arm around her shoulder and pointed up at a constellation in the sky.

“That’s where we’re going. Always forward. So if you do miss me… just look up. That’s where I’ll be.”

Just look up. That’s where I’ll be. Alexander had been trying fruitlessly to convince Frank to take out that cheesy line, but it had been a losing battle.

Bethany craned her neck to look into the sky, then turned to look at Alexander next to her.

“Thank you for saving me.”

Lazarus looked down at her.

“My dear, I think you may well have saved me.”

Bethany kissed his cheek and smiled sweetly. Lazarus hesitated, but he let her go and made his way to the ship.

She waved him off, and when cut was called, you thought it curious how familiar kissing Alexander on the cheek felt, as if it were something you were completely comfortable with.

Perhaps you were getting too into character.

---

You were admittedly disappointed with how unceremoniously you left the studio. You had your cap removed in the usual awkward silence with Alexander, who just grunted at you when you said goodbye.

In the theatre, you knew straight away how people felt about your performance. You’d sometimes hear reactions in the moment; otherwise, you’d receive (or not) applause at the end, and reviews were online and in the papers the very next day.

Television was different. You had signed an NDA banning you from sharing details of your character or the storyline you’d been involved in. And the episode wouldn’t air for months, so you had no way of knowing how your performance would be received.

The other strange thing was that you could watch your own performance on TV along with everyone else.

Over the months since your week on set, you’d found a role as an understudy in a production of Sweeney Todd, and in between rehearsing for three different roles and occasionally even getting to perform them, you’d made some good friends with cast and crew members, all of whom supported one another’s various attempts to make a career in LA.

So when the day came that your first episode would air, you had your friends over to watch your episode with you, many of them also fans of the show, or if not they came anyway simply to support you.

You didn’t appear until the very end of the episode, Bethany’s getaway into the Protector with Lazarus and the rest of the crew acting as cliffhanger, but it was still an incredible experience to watch yourself, in full prosthetics, acting in Galaxy Quest with Alexander Dane - who, despite being a complete jackass, was still your favourite actor.

“Oh my god, I so ship them!” your friend Stephanie, who played Johanna, crooned as soon as the credits rolled. “[Y/n], please tell me you and Lazarus get together!”

“I can’t tell you what happens, you know that!” you replied, throwing your hands up in innocence. “By pain of death. Or, well, by pain of a big payment if I was responsible for any leaks, and I can not afford that.”

“Eiw, did you have to kiss Alexander Dane though?” Stephanie gagged.

“What do you mean, eiw?”

“He’s ancient!”

“He’s not! He’s 53.”

“Don’t bother, Steph, [Y/n]'s in lurrrrve with Alexander Dane,” scoffed Mike from costume, who’d found out about your crush when you’d bonded over a shared love of Galaxy Quest while he fitted you for your Mrs Lovett costume.

“I am not! I’ll have you know he was really rude to me all week we worked together. Hardly said a word to me. He’ll always be my favourite actor, but as a person? Hard pass.”

Perhaps that pass would be hard, because as it turned out, the fans loved your character. So much so that you were invited as a late addition guest at the Galaxy Quest convention in LA two weeks after your third and final episode had aired.

You gladly accepted - you were going to go anyway as an attendee, but as a guest? That was a much better option. You gave your ticket to Mike, who almost cried with jealousy that you were being invited as a guest.

You’d never been to the convention yourself before, as it was always in LA and you’d always lived in London, but you’d always followed the posts about it online, and you knew that the actors always went in their costumes, including Alexander wearing his cap. Would you be expected to do the same? You didn’t even have your costume anymore.

You arrived at the hotel on the Friday night and checked into the room you’d been given. The guests all had rooms on one floor, separated from fans, and your room was right at the end of the corridor - no doubt the last room available as you were invited so last minute.

You’d hardly begun to unpack your suitcase when you heard a knock on the door.

You opened it, your anxiety telling you that someone was about to tell you there’d been a mix up and you weren’t invited at all, but to your relief you recognised Lena, the make-up artist.

“There she is! Thought I’d bring this over and make sure you still fit.”

She held up a coat bag, no doubt containing your costume.

“You do costume now too?” you joked as you stepped aside to let her in.

“I do at things like this - cheaper for them to send me out on my own. Have you gained or lost any weight since filming?”

“Uh - I guess I might have lost some,” you said. “I don’t really keep an eye on it. But I’ve been doing a show so that keeps me in shape.”

“Ooh, which show you in?” Lena asked, and you told her about your time understudying in Sweeney Todd while she got you out of your clothes and into your costume.

“Aw, I’d love to see you in it some time! But I suppose you never know when you’ll be on, do you? That must be so hard learning all three roles. Gosh, look at you, you have lost weight! If we were filming I’d take the waist in a bit, but since we’re just here for the con, we can get away with it.”

“Am I gonna have to wear the head thing? I know Alexander always wears his.”

Lena scoffed. “Yeah, only to lower the risk of Galaxy Quest fans recognising him outside of the show. I got it with me if you want, but you don’t have to.”

You bit your lip and thought about it. You really didn’t want to wear it, but if Alexander was wearing his, you kind of felt like you should, in solidarity.

Then again, he didn’t care about your feelings, so why should you care about his?

“May I make a suggestion?” Lena asked.

“Absolutely not, you lowly make-up artist,” you scoffed.

Lena laughed. “You should wear it. Everyone’s still buzzing about Bethany, and since you’re so new to the scene people won’t recognise you without it yet. And it’ll be super cute if you and Alexander both wear it for your photo session! Here, let’s get you out of the costume for now, I’ll come back tomorrow to put it on you proper.”

“What photo session?” you asked as you turned around to let Lena take the costume apart.

“Haven’t you seen your schedule yet?”

“I had literally been here for five seconds when you knocked on the door. I haven’t even had a piss yet, let alone looked at my timetable.”

“You and Alexander have a double photo session in the afternoon. People pay $30 each for photos with you individually, or $50 for a pic with both of you.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” you sighed.

“That’s what he said too.”

“I’m surprised he even agreed to do it. He hates sharing the spotlight - although I suppose he doesn’t feel threatened by me. Still, I’m surprised he’d agree to spend any more time in my presence than he has to.”

“He doesn’t hate you, you know,” Lena told you as you stepped out of the costume and gratefully began putting your far more comfortable, human clothes on. “He’s just a miserable bastard. He quite likes you, actually.”

You scoffed.

“He hardly spoke to me all week during filming.”

“Maybe, but after you went home each day, he’d tell me how well you did in your scenes that day. And Gwen tells me he spoke highly of your performance after your episodes aired.”

“I’m surprised he watches the show.”

“He loves to watch himself. Right, that’s me done with you for tonight. The intro panel’s at 9 and I’ve gotta get Alexander’s cap on too, so I can come by at 7.30 with some breakfast and coffee to wake you up while I get you fitted. Sound good?”

“So long as the coffee’s strong and black, you can do anything you want to me.”

“Flirt.”

Lena winked at you and left, and with the promise of a 7.30 alien head thing fitting, you decided to get an early night.

---

No amount of black coffee could have prepared you for the convention.

You were shuffled through back corridors to behind the main stage at 8.45, where you found most of the main cast were waiting, all dressed in their costumes.

“Hey, it’s [Y/n]!” Guy said cheerily when he saw you. “Man, am I glad you’re here. This is my first con too, and I’m bricking it. I’ve been to loads before as a fan, obviously, but never as a guest. I’m so nervous!”

“Oh, er, me too,” you replied, a little taken aback by Guy’s enthusiasm so early in the morning. You glanced over at the others, and noticed one body missing. “Hey, where’s Jason?”

“Running late, of course,” grunted Alexander from the chair he was slouched in, looking as miserable as ever. “He’ll show up ten minutes late on purpose, all to get that extra round of applause.”

He didn’t even look up at you to say hello.

You turned to Guy.

“Hey, when they introduce us, d’you think we could go on at the same time? Then we can power through that terrifying first entrance together. I’m terrified of walking on stage after everyone else and getting crickets chirping.”

“Oh my god, me too!” Guy said with relief. “I’m so glad you said it. Yes, let’s do it.”

Alexander snorted derisively. “What, are you scared of walking on a stage?”

”This is a little different from a theatre show,” you retorted. “In the theatre, they applaud at the end, and they applaud based on your performance. Here they’re applauding us as people, and none of them know me. Or has it been so long you forgot what theatre bows are like?”

Alexander did look at you then, his eyes narrowed, as the others chortled at your dig.

“Remind me why she’s here?” he grumbled to no one in particular.

“Because we got about 200 emails last week asking if she’d be here,” replied the convention host, who decided now was a convenient time to walk in. “Right, you guys ready to go?”

The convention passed in a whirlwind. You were hurried from panel to signing to meet and greet with hardly a chance to breathe. You met hundreds of fans, whose names you scribbled alongside your signature then promptly forgot, and you took every chance you had to remind the fans you were talking to that you were one of them.

In the afternoon came your photo session with Alexander, and finally you got a moment of peace when you entered the room ten minutes before the fans were to be let in - although, you suspected, they were already lining up outside.

While the crew got the backdrop ready, you collapsed into a chair with a sigh of relief.

“You still have a day and a half to go, you know,” said a familiar voice.

You looked up to see Alexander leaning up against the wall, looking at you with amusement.

“I didn’t think so many people would want to see me,” you said honestly. “Sure I didn’t have a line like you guys had, but mine still didn’t stop. I think I’ve met more people this morning than I have in my entire life.

Alexander scoffed. “Yep, and they’ll be back tomorrow, expecting you to remember them all individually.”

“How many have asked you to say that line?”

“Too fucking many. How many have asked if you’re coming back?”

“Pretty much everyone.”

“What have you been telling them?”

“That Alexander Dane’s a twat and will probably refuse to work with me again.”

He laughed, but he didn’t deny it. He sighed, then came to sit by you.

“Look, I know I’m a twat. I’ll try to make this tolerable for you.”

“Gee, thanks. No one’s forcing you to do this with me. Couldn’t you have just said you didn’t wanna do a double shoot?”

“Actually… it was my idea.”

Now that surprised you. You looked at him questioningly, and he sighed.

“Look, Gwen always hates these things, alright? Blokes are always trying to touch her. It happens less when a man is there, as stupid as that is, so Jason or I usually do a double shoot with her.”

“And you thought they might do the same with me?”

Alexander shrugged. “Sure, why not? These basement dwellers don’t know how to act around a woman - add the fact you’re gorgeous and all hope is lost. So let me know if you’re uncomfortable, alright?”

You nodded, hoping Lena had caked you in enough make-up to hide your blush at the fact he’d called you gorgeous.

As it turned out, Alexander was right - fans really did have wandering hands. After the third narrowly avoided grope, you pulled Alexander aside before the next fan stepped up.

“Alex, that’s three guys who’ve tried to grab my arse already,” you whispered. “What do I do?”

“What? Who?”

Alexander looked around as if the groping fans might still be lingering, but they’d long been ushered away by event staff.

“I told you, [Y/n], you need to tell me when it happens.”

“What am I supposed to do? Shout ‘hey, everybody, this guy’s grabbing my arse’? That’s so embarrassing.”

Alexander thought for a moment.

“Alright, when it happens, you poke me with two fingers. I’ll pretend I noticed it myself.”

“Oh, planning non-verbal cues already, are we?” you joked, the words out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, [Y/n] - if we fucked, I’d make sure you were very vocal.”

Your cheeks burned for the second time in that hour, but you had to push your sudden explicit thought about Alexander to the side, because you had two more hours to go of this torture.

Most of it went by without any more unwanted groping, but you were nearly at the end of the queue when one ball of sweat dressed in a very poorly made copy of Alexander’s costume placed his hand firmly on your rear.

You froze for a moment, then remembered to poke Alexander with two fingers. His head immediately whipped around and he looked down to see the fan’s hand far lower than it should be.

Alexander may be grumpy all the time, but there was a difference between grump and anger. He was never really angry unless he was acting - but he certainly wasn’t acting now.

You were fairly certain you didn’t even know half the swear words that came out of his mouth as he yelled at the fan. A brave staff member tried to intervene, but Alexander simply turned his vitriol to them, yelling at them for not making the event safer for female guests.

He ended his rant by ushering you along with him as he stormed out, and you felt a mixture of emotions - relief to be out of there, guilt for the fans still in line, and a bit (okay, maybe a lot) of arousal at Alexander defending you.

“Prats,” he cursed bitterly as the door closed behind you, leaving the two of you alone in the corridor. He turned to you. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied awkwardly, not really sure if you were being honest. “Thanks for, um, rescuing me.”

Alexander pursed his lips, his nostrils flaring as he shot a dark look back at the door.

“You got anything else on this afternoon?” he asked you.

“No, that was my last thing.”

“Do you want to go back to my room and raid the minibar? I usually get pissed on the agency’s credit card alone, but I guess you wouldn’t be the worst company.”

“That almost sounded like a compliment.”

“Make the most of it. Come on, I know a way upstairs we can go to avoid being seen.”

Alexander led you up to the floor you were all staying on, and you were halfway down the corridor to his room when your path was suddenly intercepted by Jane Doe, one of the new cast members for the reboot.

“Hello!” she announced cheerily, grinning at you both.

“Lal - er, Jane, what are you doing here?” Alexander said with confusion. “I thought you couldn’t make it this weekend.”

“It is my birthing day! We are having a party. You are coming too.”

Alexander glanced at you. “Oh - er - we’ll miss this one, actually. But happy… birthing day.”

He tried to step around her, but she simply followed his path, still grinning.

Apparently she was as strange as her character.

“You are coming!” Jane insisted.

She held something up in her hand and pressed a button, and your world went black.

[late-draft]

Hello! I just saw your posts about the Last Air Keyholder AU and—dear Agni!

Listen, this is beautiful. This is awestriking. This is *chef kiss*. I've always loved the initial sci-fi designs for ATLA, so it's incredible that someone's using them as a base/inspiration for an AU.

Also—your unapologetic, deliberate use of tropes? This is something extremely rare to see in narrative (tropes being intentionally used as a device) and I can't wait to see what shape they take here. Count me in!

I love this AU so far and have so many questions!

What is the vibe for the Fire Nation here? The vibe for the cities, the architecture, the worldbuilding, the culture—things like that. From the brief description we got, some parts of your world reminded me of Neo Tokyo from Akira, but maybe that's not what you're going for.

According to your previous sketch (and my inner romantic); is ZK going to happen in this AU? How do you see a possible relationship between them developing here?

Are you planning on adapting major canon plot points moving forward?

I have, like I said earlier, a lot of questions about this! But I don't want to smother you so this is all I'll ask for now. Can't wait to see what you show us next.

Have a nice day!

Hello! Thank you!! Yess a good usage of tropes is like running into a song you love that you heard many times, and still you crank the volume up! The fandom is like 20 years old, is it possible that not much stuff has been made for the sci-fi idea?

You're absolutely right, I gotta lean onto the king of megacities Neo Tokyo from Akira, but I wouldn't have the aesthetic be completely identical to it. There's mystical aspects in this AU too, and here's my initial attempt to throw together a fast vertical slice.

Light conditions are really important in a setting and in this AU I'd have a lot of the runtime happening during dawn or sunset. There's an aura of orange light floating in but very rarely direct sun rays due to the high buildings. There should however, be lots of traffic lights of all kinds. I'm already immersed in quite a few projects that feature megacities, but each one has a different flavour and I'd be overjoyed if I manage to correctly convey each one. In this ATLA AU, there's no specific time period from IRL that would be used as a reference. All nations are grouped and mixed similar to Republic City from LoK, but this AU is noticeably way more sci-fi than the 1920s LoK. There's a large focus on all kinds of transportation and roads/railways that accompany them. Highrise buildings are specifically Fire Nation in design and ownership (usually). Lower levels have a mix of everything but they do use leftover materials and mostly cement and metal. Ground and below ground levels are brick and a maze of pipes, through which strange disused cables snake. Sometimes they tangle in great masses…

I'm certain important characters from canon will appear, but I'm definitely not gonna follow the canon plotline strictly. Stuff like "Well there was a village being attacked by Hei Bai, so this AU has to have a village being attacked by Hei Bai…" nothing like that. I'm taking way more freedom in this AU to ensure that characters go through specific things that would be very useful to them and which allow the natural usage of respectively fitting tropes. But I'm not treating this AU as exclusively mine and nobody else's, so anyone can give suggestions! (please give suggestions!!)

Katara and Zuko first meet "racing on the opposite sides" of Aang. From starting out as Katara on her bike assisting the Avatar during chases while the banished prince is attempting to capture him, they sort of move into situations where they race each other. Zuko figures out that Katara is a major reason why all of his attempts thus far failed so he tries to change strategies and trip up Katara in whatever non-harmful way he can imagine. He's convinced, he must demonstrate, that her speed on a bike is not unreachable to him on his rollerblades. And if he shows off a couple of tricks along the way, so be it. :)

More stuff coming up

[bireggiemantle]

Would Transitioning Save Her: A Sliding Scale of the Impact of MTF Transition on Riverdale Character

(Ranked from Best impact to Worst Impact)

1. Archie - should've been a dyke from the get go. I could write a billion essays about this

2. Reggie - being freed from toxic masculinity would fix her

3. Moose - considering how deeply repressed she is I think seeing the tv glow would save her.

4. FP - transitioning could save her marriage. this would not improve her alcoholism. BUT ! it might help her stop bottling so many of her issues up

5. Munroe - transitioning just fits into her plot of self acceptance to me. wlw prison archie + munroe would fuck crazy

6. Sweet Pea - this is solely based on vibes

7. Original/50s Dilton - big cock t girl representation for the win!

8. Hiram - this would make veronica leagues worse. could you imagine if her daddy issues became mommy issues

9. Clay - relatively unaffected by transition. I think she's already pretty open and honest about who she is, and it wouldn't take much for her to admit this about herself

10. Fangs - no impact. already a lesbian in my eyes

11. Jughead - canonically transgender but also it would absolutely make her worse and more insufferable. this could save s1 jughead (and briefly s5 jughead) but s2 jughead on is the queen of repression and it would take a lot of force to get her to come out. if she's repressing something after all

12. Chic - win for weird girls everywhere. would drastically improve her relationship with betty

13. Bret - stonewall prep plotline but it's toxic lesbians bret and jughead. she would try to fuck donna but donna would NEVER stoop so low

14. Kevin - considering how much of her sense of self is reliant on her identity, transitioning could either really help her or force her further into a world of identity politics. she'd be the world's worst kind of white feminist for sure though

15. Charles

16. Dilton - also vibes

17. Hal - sorry betty

18. Fred - not saving her marriage but would allow her to connect better with archie and I believe she'd be a better parent to her

19. Uncle Frank - could free her but would probably do irreparable damage instead

20. Sheriff Keller - this is a cisgender man

21. Jason - I don't even want to imagine what his relationship with cheryl would have looked like if he was a woman. huge win for incest freaks I guess

22. Julian - five steps back for lgbt rights

[markantonys]

i already made a joke post about it but genuinely, the whole "wot s1 sucked, which was 100% the show's fault and not the source material's, but now s2 is so much better! shocking! who could've seen that coming!" narrative is SO annoying

like, the eye of the world is boring as shit! it's generic as shit! of COURSE an entire season based on it is not going to be the most groundbreaking or thrilling fantasy television you've ever seen in your life! how on EARTH can the readers who've been saying for decades that the books don't start to hit their stride until book 2 or 3 or 4 fail to grasp the correlation with season 2 being better than season 1? but even so, s1 alone IS more groundbreaking and thrilling than book 1 alone, because the showrunners knew that book 1 is boring and generic as shit and did their absolute damnedest to pull in as many unique elements from later books as they could conceivably fit in this early on.

second, s1 had to do a HUGE amount of heavy lifting in terms of setting up characters, relationships, lore, and worldbuilding. s1 did all this groundwork so that s2 could have the payoff you're enjoying so much, s1 constructed the basic building blocks so that s2 could explore the more advanced concepts you're gushing over. s1 ran so that s2 could soar! put some respect on its name!

third, stakes tend to get higher, characters to get deeper, and plotlines to get more exciting as you go along in a story. this is how stories work. why are you shocked that s1 only built the basic foundation of the story and s2 has the space to grow and deepen that story? that's how stories work, that's how TV works, and that's most certainly how the WOT books work.

fourth, practical constraints s1 had that s2 had less of

budget: s1 was starting from scratch, whereas s2 had more budget to spare since some things could be reused from s1 AND it got a bigger budget than s1 in the first place.

experience: second seasons almost universally tend to be better than pilot seasons, simply because everyone involved in making the show has gotten into the groove and solidified how they want to do this thing. this is how television works.

covid: it should go without saying that s1 would have been One Million Times more difficult and expensive to make than s2 due to covid stuff. whatever effect we may think covid had on s1, the true effect was probably astronomically higher than what we imagine. the majority of "looks too cheap" "looks too empty" complaints likely come down to this (notice that most of those complaints are about episodes 6-8 and not the early episodes; 6 was filmed pre-covid, yes, but i wouldn't be surprised if some covid-related restrictions were starting to rear their heads before production was officially shut down).

the worst part is the people who end their above-mentioned take with "they must have listened to audience criticism of s1 and made changes accordingly." [moiraine voice] the arrogance. s2 had already been written and filming was WELL underway (if not finished or close to finished?) by the time s1 even started airing. if you're impressed by what a great season they've delivered, the credit for that lies entirely with the people who made the show, not your stupid ass.

[carigm]

A BREAKDOWN OF THE POTENTIAL S5 EPISODE TITLES!!

Okay, so today entertainment journalist Jeff Sneider shared some alleged insider info about S5 of ST, mainly directors and titles of the first 6 episodes.

Here’s a screenshot

It’s important to keep in mind that this guy isn’t always the most reliable, and considering he also said he believes S5 could come out before the end of this year, let’s not take any of this too seriously. (Many cast members have mentioned they’re filming until December of this year so that’s literally impossible). The information about the possible directors I believe is correct, because it’s been circulating around from other sources too.

The episode titles I’m less convinced about because it’s also possible the Duffers could’ve put out fake episode titles in case they leaked. I remember for S2 all the episodes titles they announced were changed later on lol. But for the sake of fun, here’s an analysis of all of them:

1. The crawl (only confirmed title) is a very broad, open title. It personally makes me think of the UD and vines, or maybe even the idea of Vecna crawling back to life. Could also be an allusion to the military.

2. The Vanishing of ___ Wheeler is arguably the most insane one. The journalist said he wasn’t revealing the actual name of the person because it’s a spoiler ofc. My gut tells me it’s gonna be Holly, mainly because of the recast and her supposedly being involved in the hospital plot, which we have guessed takes place in episode 2. Could explain why she’s suddenly “more important” this season, especially if she’s used as a plot device of sorts. Could also tie into what Ted’s actor said in a podcast back in February about the first episodes being a rollercoaster of emotions, and that comment he made about Ted having a soft spot for Holly. It would be a perfect tie in for Karen to find out about the UD as well. The implications of naming the episode the same as the first episode, which is so intrinsically tied to Will, is very interesting. It’s also a new connection/tie between the Byers/Wheelers that I assume will bring the families closer together. I don’t think it’s about Mike because I doubt he’ll go missing in ep.2, or be dragged to the UD just like Will was. It would be an interesting concept but I doubt it. I also don’t think Nancy’s gonna go missing. Karen could be interesting but I doubt it as well. Ted would be an incredibly funny choice. Imagine he just goes missing while at the house 😭 Nonetheless, I think Holly is the clear choice here, and I do very much worry for her if she goes missing. Mainly because while Will survived this, I’m not sure they’ll do the same for Holly :(

It also ties into Vecna’s threat to Nancy against her and her family.

Here’s an interesting leak from the same anon that leaked the hospital stuff (which seems to be correct)

I think this could be the very same scene Holly goes missing.

3. Turbow Trap 😭 This one is utter nonsense. I have no idea what a Turbow is, so I assume it’s gonna be a code or nickname for something. Absolutely clueless here.

4. Sorcerer is incredibly interesting, and imo a clear allusion to Will. His D&D character being a cleric, basically a wizard. Could also be a reference to Vecna imo. Or both 😉

5. Shock Jock is clearly tied to the radio station plotline. Imo the title could be a reference to Steve, Jonathan, or even Murray (he fits that eccentric, somewhat annoying personality quite well) In case you guys don’t know a shock jock is like a very eccentric radio host.

6. Escape from Camazotz is another crazy title. He’s a figure from Mayan mythology who’s a bat spirit. That immediately makes me think of Eddie, but also Steve ofc. However, camazotz has a larger meaning that goes beyond “bat spirit”, it’s also a representation of death and night. So the title seems to be alluding to someone escaping from death or a perilous situation.

Even more interesting perhaps is that kamazotz is a name of a planet in A Wrinkle Time. It’s the planet where IT resides, the mind controlling antagonist of the narrative. So I guess in this comparison Kamazotz is the UD, and IT is Henry.

[bylrlve]

Warning! Potential spoilers for Stranger Things 5!

To recap, Alex received this dm on 13/2/23, seemingly confirming mileven breakup

She received this message on that day, which states that mileven are still together and happy. However it’s also instantly debunkable bc they’re absolutely not going to do the Hopper-Mike feud bs again. That is beyond clear.

On this past Tuesday, 20/2/23, she received a second message outright stating Mileven breakup.

Finally, on Wednesday, 21/2/23, she received this message full of pretty plausible statements, with mileven breakup included as fact. Interesting.

This person claims it’s all fake, with no rationale or alt info - what, is Will not important now?

Worth noting: Millie is currently doing promo for Damsels, so she’ll be out of commission re: filming for a few weeks. Early March is probably when she’ll come back, but Finn will be be busy with his Ghosbusters 2 promo.

Two conclusions:

1.) there will be no mileven scenes filmed for a few weeks. Filming schedules are very tightly planned to accommodate other actor commitments, so it doesn’t seem like this posed a massive issue. Hm.

2,) Millie will likely be doing any scenes she has with Sadie and Caleb, aka Max and Lucas, when she gets back. As this message says.

This person is probably just smart and well-informed enough to figure this out, but it’s interesting.

There has been some very intriguing activity on a stranger things set a few days ago - red UD ligthing, castle Byers.., and Will Byers. Will’s plotline for season 5 seriously looks like everything us Will stans have been dreaming of in terms of plot relevance, emotional catharsis, etc. This pic dropped yesterday, and the spoiler acc seems to have confirmed it’s Will:

Lastly,this also dropped today:

(Credit to @1987byler on twt)

Very strange framework, here. If the goal is to set up Will being rejected gently by Mike, but understood and accepted, why not focus on that? Why not have Vecna say ‘you’re afraid he’ll be disgusted by you. You’re afraid he’ll see you as the disgusting, broken boy you are’ or something like that? Elsewhere in the game, it’s being reported by players that Will is being taunted about how his friends are all ignoring him, and how Max fits into the group better than he does. This is canonically a sore spot for him - not so much the Max part, but the general point. So why not emphasise his fear of Mike’s rejection, rather than his hurt at Mike picking El over him?

Maybe because, if this is carried into s5 and we get scenes of Vecna taunting Will about Mike choosing El, it’ll be certain that Mike will indeed pick Will. Maybe this is a means of hinting that?

(Side note: at this point in the time line, El was really just a concept to Will. The one time he met her, it was for barely a minute as a delirious, dying child. By s4, it’s very clear that they’re close and loving. I’ll hear no critique of him for apparently not wanting her to come back - it’s very obviously Vecna twisting things, as he did with Max in s4 to make it seem like she actively wanted to murder Billy.)

Also worth noting: the best Mike can say about the girl he supposedly loved at first sight, after a whole week with her, is that she’s ‘cool’, ‘different’, ‘awesome’. Very lacklustre. Compare to how Lucas would describe the comatose max to a newcomer in s4.

Finally: Will quite literally utilises a never-seen memory of Mike and him in Castle Byers as his happy menory, his safe place. You know,like the Snow Ball and those other memories of good times with Lucas that Max clung to in s4?

Credit to @will80sbyers

This post by @nebulousfishgills reports Vecna saying that Will is ‘the key’, manipulating Will’s memories, and directly saying “You’ll finally matter to someone, Will.” Byler kind of has to be endgame, right? For this to make any sense as a narrative? ‘We can still be friends’ won’t cut it, not if, as the messages Alex is getting make out, Will is still so achingly in love post-time jump that he’s staying by Mike’s hospital bed after everyone else leaves and kissing his forehead (a). Not if they’re still emphasising that Mike is his safe place, his home, his light, in (technically) pre-season five promotional material.

All of this is… interesting, to say the least.

I’ll leave off by sharing the posts made by the wonderful @solgmorell on the set leak (x) and the VR byler stuff (x, y).

(a)

ETA: two of the previous dms Alex has gotten state that Will struggles with his friendships with the other party member this season due to being closeted. This game touches heavily on Will’s feeling disconnected from his friends, at least partly bc of his sexuality…. One is above, the other is here:

[genericpuff]

I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING EISNERS-

i've been finding lately that there are so many topics i still wanna talk about concerning LO and its development and they just don't happen because i get distracted or busy and my brain is like "ok we're just gonna pretend we've already talked about it even though we haven't" JFKDLSAJFDASKLFJSLKA

Let's talk about the Eisners and LO's recent 'win'.

I've already briefly mentioned in previous posts that LO has had a lot of its awards and accolades bought for it. This is especially true for both the NYT Bestseller label (seriously, none of those labels are ever earned, it's not some top 100 list that you compete on, it goes to whoever is willing to pay for it or whoever an editorial column wants to highlight) and, of course, the Eisner Award, which is not exactly an award judged by the industry's finest (the judges this year were made up of largely comic book shop owners and librarians).

But we're not here to talk about that. I wanna talk about what happened after LO won its second Eisner.

First off, the fact that it can be nominated at all when it doesn't even really fit the criteria for their submissions is sketchy at best:

see: "new, professionally produced long-form original comics work posted online in 2022." LO is not 'new'. Sure, it has new episodes, but I don't think that really follows the spirit of what they meant by 'new'. The Eisner doesn't seem like an award that should be granted to the same series twice, is my point, and that's one of the many complaints brought up in the absolute dressing down that LO got in its announcement post on the Webtoons Official IG page.

Of course, you can see for yourself right here.

But for the sake of fun, let's share some of the excerpts here.

(and yes I'm sharing a LOT of these because frankly I don't trust WT to not delete them in an attempt to hide all the shit that's being thrown at their precious "baby")

While names have been censored to protect the users involve, I will say one thing - this isn't some attempt from antiLO/ULO members to brigade the series' win, there are other comic creators in this discussion as well from the Canvas section who aren't pleased with seeing LO win another Eisner when there are multiple new series from this past year alone which deserve more attention than they're getting. Again, see for yourself if you click on the link above, the vast majority of comments on this post are expressing their disappointment and you can tell from how they've been sitting at the top while all the positive comments are being 'pushed' to the bottom - the like counts say it all.

All of this, paired with the fact that LO didn't win a SINGLE user-voted award during the Webtoonies, goes to show that the Webtoons audience is over LO. They're done with it. It's not relevant anymore, the only ones who still keep up with it are the stans and those holding on in the hopes that the story gets around to resolving the SA plotline and gets its TV show (which I've also mentioned has a real possibility of not happening, at least not now when it would count the most LMAO)

It still gets more likes than any other series on the platform (for now) but you can tell during its current hiatus that when LO is out of sight, it's out of people's minds - despite many of these episodes now being weeks old, their like counts aren't going up, no new readers are being pulled in. And the fact that a series with over 6 million subscribers can barely scratch 100k likes nowadays is... really something.

And that's on its free to read episodes, it's FP episodes - where views count the most because it's where LO makes its money and initial views - aren't even a fraction of what the free episodes often take well over a week to gain at this point.

Episode 252:

And the midseason finale, 253:

Compare it to Down to Earth which gets 70k likes on average on its free episodes (though its current new FP is sitting at the 1k mark), is LO still bringing in higher numbers than other series? Yes. But it's clearly falling to a point where it's going to be on par with every other comic on the platform in no time. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like after it comes back from this poorly-timed hiatus, when all of its official fan groups have also been shuttered preventing people from staying in touch within their own fandom.

Awards like the Webtoonies are, while largely just for street cred, still audience-based, and I really hope the fact that the people have spoken not once, but twice through their engagement with the platform - both through the comment section on LO's Eisner win and the votes in favor of other series in the Webtoonies - will be a major wake-up call to WT that they can't keep trying the same things over and over again expecting different results. They can't keep stuffing money into LO as if advertising or awards are the reason LO isn't pulling in the numbers it used to. They can't keep pretending that LO still has the merit and credibility that it once had 5 years ago.

It's like that comparison from Super Eyepatch Wolf talking about why you shouldn't take advice on how to be "successful" from Youtubers who got famous 5+ years ago:

"Say you decide you want to become a carpenter, and particularly, how to build a nice chair. Think about the kind of person you'd want to learn that skill from. Would it be from someone who has built nice chairs every day for 20 years? Or would it be the guy who built one nice chair five years ago out of a special kind of wood that doesn't exist anymore, who has no experience with the kind of wood available to you now?"

LO is a byproduct of a version of Webtoons that no longer exists. It was fortunate enough to join the Canvas section when the Canvas section was still only lightly populated, before WT started trying to sell the idea that anyone could become "rich" on their platform (an idea largely perpetuated by creators LIKE RACHEL who only became big because WT threw all of their money at them), before Greek myth comics became commonplace (again, something that's a consequence of Rachel/Lore Olympus) and before the romance genre became largely filled with problematic "dark" romances (again, see Lore Olympus).

Do you see the pattern of what I'm talking about here? A lot of what Webtoons became known for was a byproduct of Lore Olympus and series like it, because those series did phenomenally well, due to being in the right place at the right time, so WT went "hey, cool, this makes us lots of money! Let's do more of that!" Obviously this isn't to say that Lore Olympus is the root of all evil here OR that it didn't have its own merit back in the day, but if you make a series that blows every other series out of the water in stats, it's only natural for a company to want to pursue more series and story tropes like it in the hopes that it'll replicate exactly what comics like LO did, completely misunderstanding why LO did well in the first place. At the time, LO's art was unique for the platform, and it was tackling a story that was extremely popular on platforms like Tumblr so it naturally gained a crowd.

But that was five years ago. Since then, the WT audience climate has changed dramatically, as it always does every few years; and LO and WT haven't kept up. We went through a phase of BL, isekai, and now WT seems to be in an odd limbo because it's still clinging to a series from three whole lifetimes ago, especially now with so many of its other signature series either finally ending (True Beauty) or walking away from the platform entirely (Let's Play).

At this point, Lore Olympus is a chair that was nice five years ago, but has since started to fall apart - its paint is chipping, and its legs don't stand up so well anymore - and WT is still trying to sell it you as the exact same chair - with cheap new paint and a few bits and bobs attached to try and convince you that the chair is new - but it's long past its prime. This isn't to say that the chair itself doesn't deserve to exist, just that it shouldn't be given so much proprietary advertising and attention when there are so many other works on the platform that deserve to be uplifted and seen.

LO was good for its era, it was successful for a reason, but we're halfway through 2023 and it's painfully obvious that the comic and the platform's audience is ready to move on to new territories. Webtoons just needs to learn to let go.

[songsandsnakes]

How to Train Your Dragon.

Everybody's heard of it? American films based loosely on British books. While the films and TV shows are splendid, I want to talk about the differences between the two.

Number 1) CAMICAZI!!!

Any fan of the books remembers our favourite bog-burglar, Camicazi. A girl with blonde hair who enjoyed petty stealing and insulting bad guys while defeating them. Instead, we have Astrid. Essentially the same abilities, but Camicazi has more personality.

2) Alvin the treacherous

The main villain, along with his mum. He just doesn't appear at all! I can excuse a villain change, for the plot to advance faster, but I can't excuse

3) Toothless

My poor baby common-or-garden dragon. He went from a whiny little baby that lived in Hiccup'd helmet and ate fish to a night fury, which isn't even a thing in the books!

4) Hiccup

Hiccup is ginger. This is ginger erasure.

5) Fishlegs

He is small, skinny, and has a glass bottle for an inhaler. His new dragon has three heads because his mum was cool. He wears glasses.

6) dragons

In the films, dragons are hunted. In the books, a group of kids is sent into the mountains, into a nest of dragons to steal one without waking the others. Hiccup got a lane dragon (who isn't that lame)

7) They never speak Dragonese, or have the plotline with the fury, or discuss the first row Hiccups!

8) the twins don't exist

9) they have absolutely nothing in common except Hiccup and the fact that there's dragons

10) THEY DID ALL THE ACCENTS SO WRONG!

BERK IS A SMALL ISLAND OFF SCOTLAND. WHY ARE SOME AMERICAN? AT THE BACK OF THE BOOK, COWELL SHARES THAT SHE USED TO GO ON HOLIDAY TO THAT ISLAND AND IT INSPIRED HER.

I understand that your can't fit every book into a film, but a bit of plot from any of them would br nice.

[7thcirclebaker]

Alright, so since we don't know who's the lead for season 4, and we mostly think Eloise needs someone who will actually call her out on stuff, and clearly the canon relationships at this point are up for grabs, I propose a Theloise potential storyline.

In this season there was the focus on heirs and family inheritance and how surprise titles just are like a thing. From Season 2, we know the Sheffields don't have a male heir, or at least we can assume so, as we never see or hear of one. As Edwina has made a good match on the continent, likely her first born son would inherit whatever title is there, assuming there's only one. And she doesn't seem to have gotten pregnant yet either. This means the Sheffields would need to hold out another couple of years to have an heir, even from the daughter they basically disinherited. But clearly, it's also possible for families to go searching for the nearest male next of kin who would inherit which we saw in the Mondrich plotline this season.

Enter Theo, a like 4th cousin of the Sheffields. They find him, and quite forcefully don't let him out if it, because well he can actually read and is young, fit, and healthy. But he's really not a fan of this, doesn't want it really, is always talking about workers rights etc. in an attempt to tire him out, and for him to be more palatable to the Ton, they buy him a commission, because there's very much a war on. It's a cushy one that's unlikely to see too much battle so he's not at major risk but it should alter his life priorities or something.

Danbury hears that the Sheffields are sending this poor lad of to war, doesn't connect Theo Heir to be Sheffields, to Eloise's printer apprentice Theo and tells Kate about him. They decide to invite him to the next ball as he's kind of her cousin and she wants to do some fence mending. Eloise bumps into him there and they're both just an absolute mess, but like defensively angry at the other. Still people don't connect them to the scandal from season 2, and the only one Eloise would tell is Pen, who won't be writing about this.

They cool off after a little bit and send an apology letter, I wanna say Eloise apologizes first because Pen calls her out faster, and also Theo might die like, is that what you really want the last things you've said to him to be. Thus we get the letters over several months.

Boom! Combat! Things actually go pretty okay, and Theo gets a commendation and a shiny medal. He's horribly wounded though, like weren't sure he'd survive wounded. He does, and gets sent to the country for air from the military hospital only no one told Eloise. So she's thinking he's ignoring her or dead, he thinks she's ignoring him because he's now somewhat fucked up (I wanna say in a way that means being a professional printer is no longer viable because of the work, so he has to accept that he's the Heir now). Someone tells Eloise that he's not dead and is in fact at the Sheffields. She storms herself up there all abluster and yells at him for letting her think he was dead and after that last letter was somewhat touching and like maybe he proposed in it. They argue, they make up, they make out.

Eloise was of course unchaperoned, as we'll say the Sheffields died or were in the city lauding how great their heir was in battle. We get three angry Bridgerton Brothers battle ready for their baby sister. They agree to get married and the family slowly come around once they see how in love they actually are. Also because he's like actually maybe willing to ask for help about how to do the estate management and also how he can implement some reforms and it makes his brother's in law think about the estates they manage and do some reform as well. Everyone wins.

[the1gayteen]

Magnus Archives x 9-1-1

This post is for really only me and my stupid multi-fandom brain rot. But please enjoy what Fears from the Magnus Archives I believe would have marked themselves on each of the 118 and when that would have happened during actual plotlines. 

Buck:  

The Vast; “The fear of heights, falling, and large open spaces including sky, space, and deep water. More broadly: the human fear of insignificance and meaninglessness, of losing oneself in too much space” (Marked during the Tsunami)  

I feel like Bucks first trauma during the 118 also fits here. The fall from the roller coaster. Buck would have been marked during the tsunami though. The fear of being lost in the never ending vast of the water, as well as that fear that bubbled in him while looking for Christopher. The fear than persisting through his fear of not being enough for everyone around him. Of needing to do so much in hopes of not falling into nothingness. Especially amplified from this fear during his childhood. Doing the one thing over and over again that got him attention from his family in hopes of not falling into that oblivion of meaninglessness. Buck also tends to be followed by these threats a lot during emergencies. Testing himself with heights, etc. Constantly hunted and stalked by the vast.  

Eddie:  

The buried; “The fear of small spaces, suffocating, drowning, being buried alive. Fear of everything crashing down around/on oneself. Fear of being trapped without enough space” (Marked during the collapse in well) 

Eddie could have been also the slaughter to me. But I feel like the first area during the show would be the buried. His marking being when he was trapped in the well collapse. This fear still does follow him and keeps him on his toes. Avoiding for the rest of the show anything that may cause a collapse (literally he is not a part of any other situation for the buried to get to him). I also see this manifesting then in a way with his mental state. The idea that so much of his pushed away mental issues (and possible sexuality *wink wink* ABC) finally collapsing onto him and causing him to be buried in his own head. See the multiple ones he has been through. Anxiety attacks, PTSD emerging, anger issues, romantic and relationship issues, not over Shannon, and low losing Chris (the only person in the house who keeps him from being completely buried in his own mind).  

Chimney:  

The End; “The fear of death itself—⁠uncaring and unstoppable, the fear that everything ends eventually” (Marked during car accident) 

I don't feel like I need to explain this. Death follows this man like no one else for the love of gods leave him alone for one god forsaken season if not for me for Maddie and Jee!! He absolutely should not have survived that car accident and death was definitely angry at that. Contently taunted by the idea of the end and needing to make the most of his life in fear of the next time. Not to mention how death has haunted him already for years, from his mother to Kevin. Death keeps an eye on him and uses his fear to drive him a lot, taunting him with near experience after near experience. Letting him fear the day that it will eventually take him. Because out of all the fears, The End takes everyone eventually, even the victims of the other fears.  

Hen:  

The Eye; “The fear of being watched, exposed, followed, having secrets exposed. Can also pertain to the drive to know and understand, even if your discoveries might destroy you.” (Unknown mark, possible during childhood) 

I cant think of a time that Hen would be marked by any other fear, but her demeanor and way of being reminds me a lot of Johnathan and how she may just be marked because of her personality (or possibly something in her childhood like Johns curiosity did). She constantly is seeking out information on her own instincts and craving more of it. Putting herself and her friends in possibly dangerous situations for that hunch and need for understanding and discovering if she was right, even if it is for the benefit of others most of the time. I can see her also feeding the eye as she fights to get through med school and wanting to know it all and being the best, even when that wasn't what was best for her. Hen just start worrying if you grow extra eyes or hear a tape recorder!! 

Bobby:  

The desolation; “The fear of pain, loss, burning, and destruction, especially with a senseless cause.” (Marked during the apartment fire) 

(This hurts me trust). That apartment fire was the pinacol of this fear following bobby for the rest of his life. Haunting his every decision and relationship. The idea of that amount of loss and destruction, for no reason other than the happenstance of his building sadly not being up to code. The desolation, that fear making him more cautious, more strict to those around him, but still he is followed and haunted by more and more. The desolation reminding him that this pain and destruction can sometimes never be stopped, and he can't save everyone. Literally, his station is involved with the most destructive and random of emergences, even when he leaves the station those emergences follow him (Think of Athenas family or the cruise ship). He will never be over the destruction he's caused, and that pain and fear drives the desolation around him, it feeding off his reactions to each one.  

Athena:  

The dark; “The primal fear of the dark, of the unseen, and the creatures hiding from our view” (Marked during attack by Jeffery Hudson) 

Athena lost for a bit her ability to trust the unknown after her attack and it is a perfect marking from the Dark. Entering that building into its domain and not being able to see or predict what Jeffery was doing or where he was in the first place. Even being hunted by this again during the blackouts (this fits way too good in my brain I swear). That darkness sent her spiraling again, not being able to trust anyone or anything. Even the fear targeting someone she cares about more than herself when she seems to break through the fears hold on herself. Athena is the only character to me though that has sort have shaken a bit of the effect of the fear on herself, but she still is a bit shaky of the dark and what hides in it from time to time, still marked for something to hunt her in the dark once she's brave enough to face it again.  

Maddie:  

The Hunt; “The animalistic fear of being chased or hunted; the primal fear of being prey.” (Marked during time with Doug, especially after finally getting away) 

I make myself so upset with this. Maddie the entirety of season 2 and even beyond with dealing with her continued fear from her encounters with Doug in continuing seasons drives a lot of conflict in her life and keeps her eternally marked by the hunt. Constantly on edge having actually been hunted, even when she was dealing with the feeling of just thinking she was possible being or could be hunted. That on edginess of never knowing and how her job haunts her with those memories, the fears way of still driving her to feed it and remember how it messed with her before, that it could do it again. Inserting herself into one of those situations without even thinking as well, again feeding the fear and even making a situation worse because of it. Sadly, Maddie is marked by my scariest and saddest fear, and she may never be free of its grasp on her. (The hunt to me speaks to my own PTSD/Anxiety and is genuinely a perfect allegory for both. Johnny Sims, you make me cry and crawl at my skin with this and it's both beautiful and horrible). 

If you made it this far, thanks for indulging in my brain rot of the day. Hope your pillow is cool on both sides and you smiled today! 

[morellanimmermehr]

The Arcana Prequel - Your Questions Answered

Thanks to everyone who has sent us questions over the last few days! If there's anything else you'd like to know, my askbox is open.

Will the Prequel have an upright and reversed ending?

Yes! You’ll be following Asra during his time at the palace as he tries to revive the Apprentice. To succeed, he will need to win the trust of Nadia, Lucio, Valerius and Muriel. Whether he manages that and how far he is willing to go for his goal is up to you.

On a scale of 0 to 10, how angsty will this be?

We’re aiming to emulate the way the original game balances out the serious, gut-wrenching moments with more light-hearted ones. That said, grief, loss and unhealthy coping mechanisms will all feature heavily, so we’re going to say… 9.5?

How often does the story update, and how many episodes will there be in total?

We currently release a new episode every Tuesday, but we’re planning to eventually move to two episodes per week once some of our other ongoing commitments have wrapped up. As for the total number of episodes… we’re not sure yet, but definitely 20+.

Why did you decide to write this together?

@asrabounding (Azi) and I have been toying with the idea of making an Arcana Prequel on Dorian for over a year, but we realized pretty quickly that bringing it to life the way we were envisioning it would require more than two people. Azi and @motherofqups (MOC) first connected via the fandom all the way back in 2019, and we’ve all ended up bonding over our shared love of the Arcana, many congruent headcanons, and an admiration for each other's work. So this collaboration was a natural fit.

How much Asra x Julian is in this?

Their situationship will be one of the ongoing plotlines in this story. The choices you make will influence how it plays out and, to an extent, how much of it you see. Relationship points with Julian will not affect whether you get the upright or reversed ending, but can unlock additional paths.

You all have written Asra and Julian a lot, but which of the other characters are your favorites to write and why?

All three of us genuinely enjoy writing all of the M6 (and many of the supporting characters), but if you’re making us choose…

MOC: Lucio. His voice is so unique and he’s always flowed easily for me, but he still surprises me, even after all this time. There are so many knots to unravel and layers to unpack with him. He’s delicious to tease but he bites back, too, so he’s fun to play with whether I’m writing an angsty scene or a more playful scene. 

Azi: Muriel and Lucio. I have made myself laugh while writing them more than once, and their voices tend to flow naturally for me. I never have to wonder “what would Lucio say?”

Morella: Nadia. I love her sense of humor, and how absolutely savage she can be when she’s irritated with someone. I also really enjoy contrasting the way she can take control of a situation and command the room with the vulnerability that she only shows to a select few people.

Are the courtiers going to make appearances?

Yes. Valerius plays a major role as one of the characters that Asra will need to get onto his side to complete the ritual. The other courtiers will make appearances as well, though their roles will be smaller (similar to the original game).

I’m confused, is this meant to be canon?

No. Our aim is to stay faithful to the spirit and lore of the original game, but ours is just one of many ways to tell this particular story.

Why is the Prequel getting promoted by Dorian?

Dorian has criteria for which games get promoted. These include how many people play, how much money they spend, and whether the creators update the game consistently over a period of time. Over the past two years, Azi and I have built a track record of meeting these criteria for every game we release, so our stories now often get picked up for promotion early on (as do those of many other established creators on Dorian). The logic behind that is pretty obvious if you’ve ever been a fanfic reader deciding whether to take a chance on an incomplete longfic on AO3 - if you recognise the author and know they’ve finished their fics in the past, you’re probably more likely to trust that they’ll continue this one, too.

How much influence does Dorian have over the games you make?

The ideas that go into the stories are all ours, and Dorian doesn't tell us what to write. They do give us advice on what they think is more likely to succeed. It's our decision to take it or leave it. Sometimes we take it, sometimes we leave it.

Dorian doesn't set a release schedule for us, but they do offer more opportunities for promotion to creators who stick to a consistent schedule.

How much money do you make writing on Dorian?

Azi and I have both been writing on Dorian for going on two years now, and our earnings have steadily grown over that time. As part of that process, we’ve also gotten a lot more intentional about our release schedule. This has brought us to a point where our games make between $5K and $6K each month.

How much time does a project like this take?

These days, the hours Azi and I put into making games are equivalent to a part time job. We have tried different things and tested out what we could and could not handle on top of our other work and family commitments, and we have found our sweet spot. Luckily we are fully in control of our schedule and we make it work for us.

[the-moth-from-elsewhere]

The Epic Amazing Absolutely Insane TAOCC Song Post

Aka: Elsie assigns random songs to random characters for random reasons, vaguely organized by mod. These are almost entirely vibes and randomness so get ready to be utterly confused. Don’t expect any of these to fit too well, I went more based on the sound and random stuff than the actual accuracy. Also i’m kinda brain-broken from overthinking all this music lol. No, I didn’t add links, just because this took so many hours. Maybe tomorrow, I just wanna get this done.

Feiar’s characters.

Nymn

“Dento takes the Stairs” by Gooseworx

I told you these would make no sense. Idk the amount of nymn just being vibes/silly/lighthearted makes me think of how this song is a break from the chaos of the Elain series.

Jessy

“Metamodernity” by Vansire

Okay, I have a really specific animatic in my head for this song in which we flash between the TAOCC characters as they are in the circus, and then a cool transition, and then it’s them pre-circus. My best example is Dusk and Jessy sitting on a bench. A train passes by, and now it’s human Jessy sitting alone on a bench. Because Dusk is AI. And that very specific part of the animatic in my head tends to stick with me, especially seeing as Jessy is very “just go with stuff” and so I can kinda hear him singing this in my head.

”Apocalypse Now” by PinnoccioP

The first appearance of many of my favorite music artist lol. The song is about enjoying existence even if everything is a violent wreck, and it just kinda fits to me lol.

“World’s Smallest Violin” - AJR

yeah just gonna drop this one here and run

“Sweet Tooth” - Scott Helman

Blame Fei.

Clara

”Drosselmeyer’s theme - Kurumi Wari Ningyo (Nutcracker No. 2 March) - The Princess Tutu Soundtrack

Okay, for starters, you should watch Princess Tutu. Like right now. It’s amazing, and the title does NOT do it Justice. Back on track, it…it’s the nutcracker! Come on, this one was basically handed to me.

Tutu vs Kraehe (Swan Lake Act 1 Op. 20 No. 2)

Fight theme.

Lance

”I Don’t Have a Name For It” - Steam Powered Giraffe

I…I’m sorry I don’t have an explanation for this it just works. Lancia sweep.

Raina

”Nightcall” - Kavinsky

…Once again, very flimsy. But like…switch the gender. I’m sorry but it’s giving “they’re talking about my death but I’m still here.” The miku version works better here in my opinion :3

The pirates

“He’s a pirate” - F-777

“The 7 Seas” - F-777

idk man techno piracy go vrrrrrrrr I unironically blasted these during like the entirety of the pirates plotline frick you this is my rant I do what I want /silly

Star’s Characters

Icia

”Long Live” - Taylor Swift

I swear I have reasons for this just hear me out okay- First off, I can see the voice fitting, second off, I imagine her singing this either for Lance or Starro or both after we finally finally finally throw Hexe off a cliff.

“Santa Salvacion” - Magia Record OST

epic fight theme for fighting the terrifying ice lady. I blasted this while writing the fight scene with The Dark Queen Icia.

Dunite

”Postmeridae” - Madoka Magica OST

Cutesy upbeat theme for making merengues to. No notes.

“Witches Dance” - Magia Record OST

Idk, feels like her fight theme

”Roki” - Mikito P

…Vibes. Entirely vibes. Dunite should start a band /hj.

Starro

“Please Never Fall In Love Again” - Ollie MN

I just…him. Singing this. About Conny. I swear to cheese.

Vaga and Nova

“Class Dance - Rensho Kyoku I” - Princess Tutu OST

…Vibes.

Odette

”Vocalise Op. 34 No. 14” - Madoka Magica OST

Vibes. Piano. Sad string accompaniment. Must I say more?

Achilles

“Doubt #2” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

Starting to notice a pattern with the kingdom characters lol?

Joofie’s Characters

Cardlan

“Main Character” - Will Wood

Ego. So, so much Ego.

“Sayo-Nara” - DDLC OST

I have my reasons.

Minimi

“Not Yet (Epilogue)” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

Accordion and a little bit of ominousness. Vibes.

Xeyshattersiltav1a’s Characters

Sun

“Cowboy Dan” - Modest Mouse

Yee-haw sun. Do not give that woman a truck. Wow, these descriptions are getting terrible lol.

”Popular” - Wicked Soundtrack

Wicked but it’s sun and Dusk lives in my head rent free okay

“Alright” - Mother Mother

please help me I keep making up sun animatics with this song in class

Mix

“Something, Everything is Wrong” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

This song is the reason I associate Mix with the accordion. Also, I imagine Dusk meeting him/his first real introduction in TAOCC’s background music as this song.

“Intertwined” - CMYK, CircusP.

Rip this man’s love life

“Love is War” - Ryo/Supercell feat. Hatsune Miku

Love is still Vehicular Manslaughter /ref

Dialtone

“Cats!” - waterflame

Does the song fit him? Not at all! It is way too techy and upbeat, and would probably better suit someone like Switch. But like….cats. He’d listen to a song called “cats!”. You can’t convince me otherwise.

“Want You Gone” - The Portal OST

Dialtone is GLaDOS coded to me.

“Killer Spider” - PinnoccioP

vibes and vibes alone.

Soup’s Characters

Silhouette

“Scared of you” - Brandon Hesslau

“Whoops, sorry for kinda almost killing you.”

”What Gave It Away” - Riproducer

evil.

”Burial Ground” - Low Roar

sad backstory.mp3.

Clown

“I’m Number One” - Muppets Most Wanted Soundtrack

Look man he’s silly and egotistical and it’s funny. He’s definitely singing this with carbine.

Autumn’s Characters

Pyxel

”Magical Doctor” - MARETU

once again, more vibes than lyrics and the gender’s wrong but, like, the vibes, man

Neb

“Lonely UFO” - PinnoccioP

…it doesn’t fit. The lyrics, as far as I can tell, do NOT fit. BUT LOOK AT THE OUTFIT, THE BLUE HAIR AND VOID SKIN AND MURDER TEETH AND TELL ME THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE NEB, OKAY?!

“Finding Sanctuary” - Stellaris OST

Silly space song for silly space person.

Lily’s Characters

The bookend siblings, and I mean all of them as a group, Katrina included for brevity’s sake

“Magical Girl and Chocolate” - PinnoccioP

Okay, I have actual reasoning for this one. Each of the siblings is someone’s “magical girl”, whether metaphorically or literally. They’re each fighting to protect and support someone. And they each strain and struggle to cope with a role too demanding for them. This song works for each of them in a different form and context.

Octavia and Steven/Sign

“Isn’t it “A”” - PinnoccioP

The arguments of all time

Honse- I mean Sophro

“Puzzle” - CMYK, CircusP

He’s just here to help. No notes.

Miscellaneous Others/Not big enough for their own section

Lantern

“Lantern” - Undertale OST

…self explanatory. The song’s vibes fit, too, I imagine this plays in his scenes.

“The Other One Left” - VaneLily

Half due to the “I just want a loving father” line. Gender’s wrong, again, but otherwise the lyrics fit.

Seer

“Seer’s Theme” - Cindy

I literally cannot outdo her own theme. It’s just too good. I listen to it randomly just because I like it so much /gen.

Sigil

“I’m Just Ken” - Barbie Movie Soundtrack

this is mostly a joke but come ON you think that guy doesn’t feel a little overshadowed by his GODDESS FIANCÉE?!

“Business Man” - Tom Cardy

Okay so this one takes some explaining because I imagine sigil walking into Dialtone’s place to spy and Insanity ruining everything and shooting everyone. It makes absolutely no sense but it’s funny in my head so here we are.

My Characters, yes this is gonna be last

Dusk

“Ultimate Senpai” - PinocchioP

A song about being overly pressured and stuff? Yeaaaaah.

“Sis Puella Magia!” - Madoka Magica Soundtrack

….Pretty. That’s it.

Aoki

“Decretum” - Madoka Magica Soundtrack

The reason I gave him a violin.

Alpenglow

“Yume Yume” - DECO*27

I have an ENTIRE ANIMATIC for chip and alpen with this song in my head

Lemonade

“Viva La Vida” - Coldplay

lore. Hehe.

Yume

“What are Children Made Of?” - PinnoccioP

This kid’s childhood has been ruined and boy is processing that hard.

”Everything about Animals” - PinocchioP

an absolute fever dream of a song that she would absolutely sing about animals. And how cool they are. And ohhhh look commentary on the state of humanity

Switchboard

“Kom Susser Tod” - Astrophysics

Idk it doesn’t fit all too well but the mix of utter hopelessness and eurobeat techno is just hercore

TAOCC as a whole

“Something Rotten!/Make an Omelette” - Something Rotten Soundtrack

WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE AN ENTIRE. FREAKING. ANIMATIC-

”Your Silver Garden” - Madoka Magica OST

I do not know the lyrics literally at all but I could see an OP for TAOCC with this song