#the audience knows is doomed before the play opens and for no reason at all except that’s the way we know it ends. Koizumi…

[ziracona]

Still can’t get over that the play Koizumi is in during the season finale for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. That’s fucking brilliant. I have no idea if that’s in the book, or if it was a creative choice, but that’s one of the single most brilliant background choices I’ve ever seen made in anything. Of course it is. What else could it be. Nothing fits more than somehow, Itsuki Koizumi being cast in a Japanese high school production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. They don’t even say it. You only know that’s the play if you’ve seen it, and recognize the shot. But it has unbelievable layers of meaning in 2 seconds of a wordless background shot.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hello. I've been binge reading your meta post an I loves all of it. I have one question, though I don't know if you had the same question or not. If you had I'm sorry feel free to ignore this but if you hadn't, this is my question. Many people said Adrien as sentimonster is a good plot and the other said it's also good metaphor for abuse children. But what do you think about the senti plot? Is it necessary? And what do you think the writer is trying to achieve with the plot if Adrien doesn't even allowed to know about what he is?

Thank you! I'm glad that you've been enjoying my rambles! I don't think I've touched on those aspects of the sentiplot, so here goes!

Is it Necessary/What's The Goal?

I don't think that the sentiplot is even remotely necessary. My two cents is that it reads like something that was added relatively last-minute in order to add some cheap drama to draw the plot out because they didn't have enough content to organically fill seven seasons. Part of the reason that I'm comfortable saying that is because we've seen the writers do this type of move many times before. I don't wanna get too into the weeds on this, but a good example is the love triangles with Luka and Kagami.

Luka and Kagami are never treated as real alternate love interests. They're just road blocks on the love square highway that allow for seasons three to end on a cliff hanger. The fact that season four opens on two episodes meant to reassure the audience that Lukanette and Adrigami are doomed to fail is proof of this. No one is actually supposed to ship those ships. There's no Team Luka vs Team Adrien. It's just cheap drama.

The other reason that I feel comfortable calling the sentiplot cheap shoehorned drama is because the sentiplot has no teeth. A big reason why I refused to believe that it was going to be a thing was because it's an extremely serious plot that has no place in a Y-7 show. The wielder of raw destruction can have his free will overwritten at any time! The show has made jewelry theft a common teenage past time! This is bad!

And yet, once it's introduced, it goes nowhere. Gabe gives the most lackluster commands humanly possible and Nathalie undoes every one of them before they have a chance to meaningfully impact the plot. The biggest fallout of the sentiplot was that the Adrienette kiss got delayed a bit. How terrifying.

If the sentiplot had the weight it deserved, then it would have destroyed Adrientte in a big, dramatic fashion. Gabriel would have commanded Adrien to date Kagami and Tomoe would have done the same for Kagami re Adrien. But that's too serious, so we don't even get Gabe telling Adrien to break up with Marinette. He just tells Adrien to not see her and Marinette never has any clue that something went wrong there because Nathalie undoes the command two minutes later.

The Sentiplot's and Emilie

You may have read the previous section and thought, "But wait, doesn't the sentiplot give an explanation for why Emilie used the peacock? Didn't we need that?"

No, we didn't. Felix's little play and Gabe's memory of the night they used the peacock both heavily imply that no one knew that the peacock would kill you. It's why Felix exists! His father did not willingly give his life to have a kid and neither did Emilie. It was an unknown side effect.

Imo, it would have actually been better if Emilie hadn't used the peacock for such obviously selfish reasons. I mean, is anyone really saying, "Oh no, the rich lady used forbidden magic (and possibly killed some people?) to get a designer baby, then faced unexpected consequences! How awful for her! She didn't deserve that!"

Wouldn't it have been a far more interesting and complex story if Emilie used the peacock because she wanted to help someone else? If she was an unambiguously good person who suffered for doing the right thing or even just a morally gray thing? Wouldn't that make Gabriel's quest feel more righteous and less like a temper tantrum by a rich, entitled white guy who used his wealth in a morally dubious manner and paid for it?

The Sentiplot as an Abuse Metephor

I don't think that the writers meant for the sentiplot to be an abuse metaphor. In fact, I sincerely hope they didn't because it's a terrible one! Or, at least, a depressing one.

Abuse - especially childhood abuse - is something that sticks with us. A lot of victims will be forever scared by what they went through. But just because they bare scares doesn't mean that they're trapped by their abuse and can never break free. This is true even if the abuse caused mental health issues like PTSD or CPTSD, conditions that can never be cured because you know what they can be? Controlled and mitigated to the point where the victim is no longer ruled by their condition.

There's also the fact that abuse victims - especially child abuse victims - can and often do reach a point where their abusers no longer have any power over them. I have personally seen a child abuse victim go thought the process of realizing that their parent is just another adult now. All the power that the parent once held is gone. The child doesn't depend on them for food and shelter anymore. If the abuse starts up again, then the child can just get up and walk away.

That's not true for a sentimonster. Sentimonsters don't grow up and get more agency/power. At any point, their abuser can get ahold of their amok and override their free will, taking away the sentimonster's freedom even if the sentimonster is on another continent! There is no means of true escape.

No abuse victim will ever be that powerless. Abuse victims can escape abuse and they do have true free will. Sentimonsters will always be sentimonsters.

Is the Sentiplot Good?

No. It's too serious for a kids show. In fact, now that it's canon, here's my two cents: all of the sentikids are massive liabilities to the team who need to give up their miraculouses immediately because they can never be truly trusted. Felix has shown us time and time again how easy it is to steal an amok and replace it with a fake, so we must always assume that the sentikids are compromised because to assume otherwise is to invite the miraculouses to fall into the wrong hands. It's just not worth the risk to trust a senti.

Along the same lines, the love square should never be canon unless Marinette gives up Guardianship because Adrien is a liability to the safety of the miraculouses even if he didn't wield on himself. The only way to get around this issue is to use the wish to make the sentikids human, but Gabe failed to even do that one kindness for his son, so here we are. Season six will either drive this point home by having Lila use the amoks to mess with Adrien or it will drop the sentiplot forever, proving just how cheap and poorly thought out it was.

Other issues I think I've already addressed in other posts, but that are still a problem that make the plot bad:

a sentimonster's creator defines the sentimonster's worth, thus there being no issue with Felix making sentimonsters and then killing them or the heroes destroying them, but it would somehow be wrong if we did the same thing to any of the sentikids

any command you give a sentimonster can be overwritten and sentimonsters can't resist even if they know they're being controlled, so there's truly no hope to free them

giving your leading lady anxiety issues and a boyfriend whose free will is constantly in jeopardy is cruel and unusual punishment

an insane number of lore issues like why is it impossible to destroy other sentimonsters, but Adrien can be destroyed in akuma fights? Cataclysms are pure destruction! It makes no sense that akumas can do what a cataclysm can't. And is Adrien able to die a natural death? What happens to his amok when he does? Will his children be able to be controlled by his amok too since they're part of him?

the lore around Gabe & Emilie finding the miraculous makes no sense and should not be possible. That's another rant, though.

[xollii]

Fantasy world?????? OCs??????? Anything particularly fantastical in the world or whacky or strange or whatnot etc. Is it normal for the OCs??

I really really like the idea of talking about what's unusual about the setting not for us but for the people living in it. So I'm writing about that, lol. To a rural agricultural society, all the dragons and whatnot are normal. What's strange is other people and phenomena difficult to discuss or investigate.

1st, saint veneration. Destruimism was founded by its nameless prophet in the midst of a slave revolt and its audience found the ideas of a false reality kept in perpetual chaos by want and greed, only able to be broken by human will, engaging.

When the religion spread out of the verdant and economically developed fields and into the mountains and swamps where slavery was much less substantial, proselytizers played heavily into hero veneration, especially in deed poetry, something culturally recognizable to everyone, and began repainting apotheosized pagan heroes as warriors of true reality, their sainthood not being established by magic but by righteous actions. This hero worship was not popular to the metropolitan centers of worship Destruimism came from and created long lasting cultural rifts as a result.

In fact, Destruians in general are near universally seen as strange, fatalistic, backwards, even cosmically evil by outside communities.

2nd, the idea that humanity was born in fire about 60,000 years ago (by the "present" date) is incredibly universal, same with the practice of trephination, which -while archaeology as a proper science hasn't been established- is observed in drilled skulls buried around the world. While the question of how or why is answered differently by different people, in an increasingly globalized world, this commonality opens up dialogues between whoever is interested.

3rd, Cynocephali, the immortal dog headed people. While humans have hundreds of origin stories, the cynocephali themselves can only precisely remember their own lives out a couple hundred years, anything further is just vague emotions. They usually play along with whatever humans tell them as to not cause problems. That combined with the inability to reproduce creates a shared sense of confusion, frustration, alienation, and doom regarding their very existence.

4th, An army of eels proclaiming the henotheistic supremacy of their idol-god, Himnosiliax, came from the sea to wage war to conquer the world and kill all who refuse to convert for 27 years before retreating without warning. (This narratively serves as a parallel to the generalized crisis of the 14th century.) Many did convert before the army of the "sea heathens" were dispersed and were subsequently killed en masse and their religion suppressed.

All of this was explained away by the Destruian clergy, but many found it unsatisfying. What little everyone knew is that the eels intended to bring about the apocalypse and create a new world. Why would a supposed manifestation of the demiurge want to destroy their own oppressive reality? What else about their beliefs is missing? Was Himnosiliax actually the idol or just a false god? Why did they leave? Will they come back?

5th, Blank or black knights. These knight-errant warrior monks belonging to ancient Destruian military orders mostly seclude themselves in their fortified monasteries, or "stongs." When they do come out, they come in dressed head to toe in armor, bearing brass spurs and drab robes depending on the order. Most of them come from noble families with nothing left to inherit. They retain the legal right to kill for any reason -usually justified after the fact through theology and bending ecclesiastical law- and serve as an unpredictable, violent, and reactionary paramilitary, come either for a chivalrous ego fantasy or to enforce the political will of the nobility, clergy, or both. The average person knows very little of what goes inside stongs and doesn't think much of it but is forced to wonder about their safety, rights, soul, and community when a blank knight comes riding in.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I get that it upsets people to think about Matty possibly falling out with someone he was (seemingly) close with, but if I got online and saw people pitying me like that I’d commit a crime. Like you said, it dehumanizes him. He’s so patient and respectful with us, all he expects is the same patience and respect back. He already gives so much of himself to us, through his art and just daily interactions, no one should think they’re entitled to anymore than he’s willing to share. He’s literally talked multiple times about how he struggles with fame and how much the press fucked with him as a child, he was famous before but one month hanging around TS and suddenly he’s everywhere, it’s just sad to think that his own fans are participating in it.

It’s literally just gossip, but if it’s true, it doesn’t concern us. Friendships end all the time, people grow apart, shit happens. If all this TS stuff never happened no one would be questioning why he didn’t make it to the wedding.

It’s also disappointing because he JUST came back to socials. All this shit (starting with the TikTok) starts up and suddenly he’s gone again. Yeah, I’m sure it has to do with the breaks they’ve had and him spending time in LA, but part of me wonders if he just doesn’t feel like interacting with fans online when he doesn’t have to. I know he comes and goes all the time, but either way, he sees all of this bullshit and fans know it. Theories about his personal life should be kept in DMs (or preferably in their heads).

I know people send you dumb shit but you’re one of the few people I’ve seen actually shut it down, or give a logical, reasonable explanation. I’m also loving Reddit right now since the mods delete any speculation about his personal life.

Anyways, this ended up being way too long, and it’s also me being a hypocrite for speculating, but these past few months have been exhausting, I thought it would let up after May. I know he’s a celebrity but he’s not like most celebrities. He interacts with us like we’re on the same level, he willingly spends time in online fan spaces, he goes out his way to make us happy. Sorry for ranting in your inbox, but this all just bums me out.

Yes I strongly agree with this, especially his social media presence because I’ve seen the shit that people tag him in. And it’s insane. He’s got thick skin and a healthy detachment from peoples views of him but he’s still a human being. It can’t always be easy.

I don’t think we appreciate his love for his job and his fans enough. Some days in May were REALLLYYY hard for him. Twice he had to go onstage and perform less than an hour after some nasty articles were being published about him. I love my job and my students more than I love myself. I would do it for free if the university didn’t pay me. But I don’t know if I would be able to keep it together if I were in Matty’s shoes. And sometimes he was the one talking us down. “I’m still here and I love you guys.” “Some people they have people. I have you guys.” C’mon! How does it not feel awful participating in behavior that hurts him or is in any way shape or form harmful towards an artist like that? He’s so good to us and goes above and beyond all the fucking time. And he’s spoken so much about how important it is to him that he connects with people and builds this sense of community cuz it’s a way to combat the doom and gloom of our current state. He’s always open and generous and kind. He’s given stage props to fans. He’s had a fan onstage to play guitar for robbers. He’s played songs that were not on the setlist just cuz people have requested them and he’s humble enough to feel that the show is about the audience not about him, so he will go out of his way to give the audience the best time that he can possibly give. and his own fuckin fans are doing this to him??? Unacceptable. and I’m so tired of it. This fandom is way better than this. We never used to do this kind of thing. We should cut this shit out before it becomes permanent.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

FNAF Ruin DLC: I Got The Good Ending On My First Time Playing It (And Kept Cassie from Going Into The Elevator) And Have FNAF Theories About The True Ending...

[Note: some Spoilers from Five Nights At Freddy's Security Breach's Ruin DLC.

also Mature Audience Readers Only...]

so yeah when finally playing the FNAF Security Breach's Ruin DLC.

I made sure to zoom out on that station that shows you the images of cameras and where they are...

if you get to a certain part of those stations which I forgot what they were called...

you can zoom out enough and will eventually find the hidden cameras on your first playthrough of the DLC.

once you switch to the hidden camera, there will that closed door and it will open.

to open all the doors, you need to find all the hidden cameras before you get to where the Mimic is at the underground of the Mega Pizzaplex.

if you don't, then you can only end up choosing from the other endings...where Cassie ends up placing that Vannie Mask back on and trying to escape virtually from the Mimic that way, but if she takes it off, she might end up being doomed by the Mimic.

the other ending would be the Elevator, which I'm glad that was not the first ending I got and I was able to get the good ending, even if it might not be the true ending, and the true ending might be Gregory's Betrayal and hurting his friendship with Cassie...

I made a new save after beating the Ruin DLC, so I can have separate parts of my different progresses in the game.

in the new save, in the Profile Number 2...

I will have Cassie go on the Elevator, even if in my first playthrough I was able to keep her from going to the Elevator and I was able to protect her from that bad ending on my first time beating the Ruin DLC.

I only needed a few days to beat the Ruin DLC, I started around May 17th of 2024...had to take a break at some point of course.

I then continued around May 20th and I ended up getting that Scooper Ending as my first time beating FNAF Ruin DLC, which to me is the Good Ending...

even if it might not be the True Ending, and the sad truth is that the True Ending might be the one where Cassie has to go on the Elevator.

for all we know, it might of not just been the Mimic that was tricking Cassie...and what I'm implying is that it might of also been Gregory as well...

there could be a good reason why some Fanon versions of Gregory are the favorite over the secretly evil version Gregory.

Gregory likely played a part in Cassie's friends not making it to her party even if the Mask may of let us see some of Cassie's memories, one where she was crying because no one came to her birthday party, and even the possibly first time she meets Gregory who ends up comforting her.

we could see that some of the endings we get in FNAF Security Breach that don't line up to the outcome to Ruin DLC, as not just non-canon, but perhaps Semi-Canon where the endings that didn't happen to match with the Ruin DLC, may have happen in different timelines...

Monty, Chica and Roxy having their parts taken from Gregory and given to Freddy would be part of the Ruin DLC Timeline...

meaning that Gregory taking their upgrades and giving them to Freddy, is part of the True Timeline...

so even if we pick a different outcome where we the Player, choose not to take their parts an upgrade Freddy with them...

Gregory in the Main True Timeline will still choose to do it and will use those upgrades on Freddy.

the part with Fazer Blast, in both the game's timelines of the past where we have Gregory as a playable character and then to the present/future where we have Cassie as a playable character...

the Freddy body that is found has always been Prototype Freddy.

Vanny likely switched the heads before Gregory and the Player got to the repair station...

the head of the Glamrock Freddy that Gregory ends up taking with him after beating all Three Princess Quests...

is the version of Freddy that isn't a Prototype, and Gregory just freed Freddy from being a part of the wrong body tat was the Prototype.

and it was likely that the Mimic was speaking to Gregory most of the time when we played FNAF Security Breach.

because if your outside of Freddy's stomach-hatch where Gregory can hide, and if your at those closed gates that has those pictures of Roxy, Monty and Chica...

and if you turn around and face where Freddy will be when you call him to you...

you will find that Freddy's mouth doesn't move when telling Gregory that he could sure use the upgrades that Monty, Chica and Roxy have.

it is possible it was the Mimic that was telling Gregory to turn the Staff-bots against Vanny, NOT Freddy.

even though I haven't got to that part of the game yet, and I only know from watching the videos about it...and reading up a bit on it.

but it would be good to ignore what "Freddy" who might really be the Mimic, says about turning the Staff-bots on Vanny...

I rather get the ending where I beat all the Princess Quests and give Gregory, Freddy and Vanessa a Happy Ending first...

but because Gregory and Vanessa didn't take care of the Proto-Freddy properly, they end up being found by Cassie...

I think I only got a few game overs when trying to get away from the Prototype Freddy...

lucky I didn't get a game over from Moony and was able to help both Moony and Sunny become Eclipsey.

the Endos were a bit more difficult but at least I was finally able to open up the doors for the Movie Theater.

sadly I didn't get to go to the room where you are suppose to find Glamrock Bonnie, but I hope I can at least try to find him if I go back to one of the chapters in my first save and lucky my progress will still be okay even if I do go back and try to find Bonnie.

it could of been one of the Prototypes of the Glamrocks that hurt Bonnie, and Monty might be innocent and being framed.

Burntrap is possibly not the same being as the Mimic, and Burntrap is likely Cassie's Missing Father...

I say Missing, because if your able to find it while wearing the Mask...

you will find what appears to be a Note from Cassie's Father that can possibly be found at Roxy's Raceway but some might end up missing it.

it could be possible that Cassie's Father tried to free the children that went missing at the Pizzaplex but it went horribly wrong...

they ended up mistaken him for the man who we know as William Afton, and he tried to hide in the old Spring-Bonnie suits in the same room where The Three Princess Quests are located, and yeah my fan theory is that those three Arcade Games in that very room, are in fact the Princess Quests 1, 2 and 3.

the ghost children that were seen that the Purple-Guy that was possibly Cassie's Father, were possibly Cassie's friends who didn't make it to her party.

Cassie's Father and the Burntrap are one in the same, and William Afton may of still ended up in a Spring-Bonnie suit, it just was a different one from the one Cassie ends up in.

I kind of want to view the William Afton from the FNAF Movie, as being separate from the version that became business partners with Henry Emily...

and the one that is William Afton in the Movie, I kind of want to view as being William Afton Sr., while the one that is business partners with Henry Emily is William Afton Jr. who would later become Springtrap.

the blonde ghost boy in the movie, is possibly a Afton and William Afton Sr. was just his puppet...

William Afton might not be the only bad guy in FNAF, and he could of been under the control of either the Mimic or someone else, and it might all connect to either the bite of 83, or to the creator of the Mimic.

even if Henry Emily might seem like a good and loving father, who misses his daughter terribly...but do we even know if it is true that he is really 100% a good person.

for all we know the Crying Child may have turned out to be boy named Charles "Chuck" Emily, and it turning out that Charlotte "Charlie" Emily wasn't really a Emily at all but was the kidnap daughter of William Afton the father of Elizabeth, Michael and Another Crying Child who could be the one that the Player controls during the part of the FNAF games before it goes to the mini-game with the crying child that gets bullied by their older brother with the Foxy Mask.

The Child that isn't really seen or named that is the Playable Character and has to try to make it to 6 Am and stay safe from those Nightmare Animatronics...

might not be one in the same as the Crying Child from the Mini-Game, and the one from the Mini-Game might really be Henry Emily's son, and the Older Brother that wears the Foxy Mask might really be Henry's Step-Son who would be Chuck's Half-Brother, and who's Father is William Afton.

and I'm going to believe that theory that one of the Bully Friends who wears the Bonnie Mask, might really be Cassie's Father, who sadly ends up in a Spring-Bonnie Suit and becoming trapped under Roxy's Raceway.

the brother who wears the Foxy Mask could turn out to be William Afton Jr. and the one wearing the Freddy Mask who's the only one of the friends who's white pupils of the Mask that didn't show...

that one who wears the Freddy Mask, could be Henry Emily.

meaning that William and Henry were the bullies that may have caused the bite of 83 in the True Main Timeline.

in some timelines, it wasn't William and Henry that were those Teenagers that were those Foxy, Freddy, Chica and Bonnie Masks.

but we can't truly rule out that possibility.

the Mini-Games we play, that are like 8-Bit are likely Virtual Worlds of Memories of The Original William and Henry, who created Digital Copies of themselves through their own Remnants, where they aren't the ones who bullied and caused William's Little Brother to be hurt...

the ones who takes the place of William's Teenage Past Self who would wear the Foxy Mask to scare his little brother, would be his own son "Michael Afton" and the one that replaces Henry Emily in wearing that Freddy Mask, could be Sammy Emily who is Charlie's Twin Brother from the FNAF Book Series.

The Crying Child that was William's Little Brother, was likely replaced by his youngest son who possibly went missing and who had the same name as Michael Schmidt.

this could mean that outside of the Arcade's Virtual Worlds that were created by William and Henry's own memories but they end up Alternate the memories a bit for that Virtual World.

this could mean that the Original William, had children named Michael, Garret and Abby but he ended up going by Schmidt to not be confused for his messed up Father, William Afton Sr.

this would mean that the Dad of Michael, Garret and Abby in the FNAF Movie, might be William Afton Jr. but goes by his Mother's Maiden Name Schmidt, which he might of taken after his own parents got a divorce and his mother got full custody of him.

but that is just a theory and not everyone has to agree about that...

Cassie might not be the only child of The Original Bullies that caused the Accident with Fredbear. and each of The Original Bullies may of ended up working at the Mega Pizzaplex until each of them went missing, and leaving their families behind who worry where they went to and not knowing that it might of been Vanny and Gregory who caused them to go Missing when they started to look for The Missing Children.

Gregory possibly tricked Cassie into going to the Pizzaplex even before The Mimic started to trick her into believing they were Gregory.

Gregory might of still been under the control of the Anomaly that wasn't Mimic, and likely tricked Cassie into going there and knowing that she would end up catching the attention of the Mimic and be tricked by them and led down to where it is trapped.

as soon as Cassie is safe and even saved by Roxy from the Mimic,

Gregory finds the right time to call Cassie and trick her into believing he wasn't the one who called her to the Mega Pizzaplex.

and if we choose the Elevator Ending, Gregory who still playing the "Nice Guy Act" ends up betraying Cassie in the end.

even if Gregory and Vanessa programed The Mxes to keep the Mimic trapped, it might of been Gregory who had plan to trap both Cassie and The Mimic...

if different choices of what we make Gregory do in FNAF Security Breach, results in a Alternative Timeline where Gregory didn't take Roxy, Monty and Chica's upgrades and didn't use them to make Freddy more powerful...

that could be the Good version of Gregory, who could go through that Time Traveling Ball Pit and meet Cassie and keep her safe from the Evil version of Gregory and The Mimic.

there could be maybe Three Versions of Gregory from each Timeline of the FNAF Security Breach, one being the Evil version from the Main True Timeline that leads up to the Ruin DLC's Future.

and there being the Neutral and Good versions of Gregory that don't end up 100% like the Evil Gregory.

the Neutral Gregory may of still taken the upgrades way from the other Glamrocks, but he could of chose to not have the Staff-bots turn on Vanny, and chose to beat the Third game of Princess Quest.

the Good Gregory never ends up hurting the Glamrocks that are Freddy's friends, and he ends up not hurting Vanny either.

the Good Gregory from that timeline would be a Pacifist Gregory, who might only fight back only to defend himself if someone is trying to harm him.

Evil Gregory, if the Player chooses to let Gregory go down that path...

will end up hurting not just Monty, Chica and Roxy...

but also Vanny as well, and if they once worked together, that means that Gregory was betraying Vanny.

it could be possible that Vanny and Vanessa are not 100% the same, but at the same time they are.

the Vanessa that tries to find Gregory and even put him in the Lost and Found, is possibly another version of the Vanessa that would become Vanny.

the Vanny that is trying to get Gregory, is possibly from another timeline that took place before the events of the first FNAF Security Breach, but we can't be 100% sure.

we know that in one of the possible endings, there is seemingly two Vanessas.

meaning that there could be a type of Time Travel Paradox,

or the Vanessa that we see on the roof, might be like the Charlie from the book series, a Animatronic that was made to look like a Human with Emotions.

the Animatronic Vanessa, could of been made to replace the one that would end up becoming Vanny...

Vanny becoming Good, and could end up leaving the Pizzaplex with Gregory and Freddy...

she could end up not wanting to interacted with her Night guard counterpart who is either a Animatronic Clones of herself or a version of herself that is from another Timeline and we got a Time Traveling Paradox going on in FNAF Security Breach and Ruin DLC...

it's okay that some fan theories do get debunked, but it can still be possible some fan theories will turn out to be true and be one of those accidental prediction of future canon events, like with Deltarune's Chapter 2.

anyway hope some like some of the theories I talked about in this, even if it's okay that some of them end up being debunked even the ones where it turns out William Afton was the brother who was the bully who would wear the Foxy Mask, and Henry Emily was the bully who was his friend who was wearing the Freddy Mask.

anyway when I'm able to, I'm going to play the Ruin DLC again from that new save I made and get the True Ending that has Cassie go in the Elevator to try to escape the Mimic but only to be betrayed by Gregory.

I can look for Glamrock Bonnie in my Original Save by going back through the Chapters and trying to find him.

once again, I'm glad that my first time beating the Ruin DLC was of me getting the Good Ending where Cassie goes through those doors and to where the Scooping Room is and presses that button that catches the Mimic.

it was a really good thing I looked for the hidden cameras first before going down to where the Mimic was being kept, otherwise I would of had no other choice but to go to the Elevator where Cassie will end up being betrayed by Gregory. O_O

[cyarskj1899]

How Rage Against the Machine Outsmarted Censors to Get ‘Freedom’ on TV

Chad ChildersPublished: February 21, 2023

Rage Against the Machine are Rock Hall eligible now, but it took a moment and some creativity for them to catch their big break.

While many are aware that their self-titled debut album arrived in 1992, it wasn't until their fourth single "Freedom" in the U.S. in 1994 that they were able to garner significant airplay due to radio and television standards. But they eventually got through to a mass audience, albeit with a little fudgery in the process.

In a new video for the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (seen below) and shared by Spin, guitarist Tom Morello told host Ryan J. Downey about how they eventually found their way around the censorship restrictions without having to censor their art.

Morello spells out the biggest issue right off the bat, explaining, “With Rage Against the Machine we were not going to censor the lyrics for any of our songs for radio, so in the United States, you couldn’t play most of the songs on that record.”

That led to quite the challenge as Europe had fewer restrictions and the band caught on fast overseas, but the U.S. record label was unable to break the band due to the curse words that populated their material. The guitarist recalls, “We’re playing these huge festivals over here, and we’re opening up for House of Pain in small clubs in the U.S.,” then adding, “The U.S. record company was embarrassed that they’ve got this band that is a political Led Zeppelin-Public Enemy thing that nobody knows about.”

After three singles ("Killing in the Name," "Bullet in the Head" and "Bombtrack") couldn't make the cut stateside due to the curse words included, the band's A&R rep came to the group with a proposal to go with "Freedom" as the fourth single and allowing the band the opportunity to shoot a video about freeing Leonard Peltier if they could ensure there was no cursing for airplay.

“The secret underlying reason [that was a single] was that there were no curse words in the lyrics of the song so they might actually be able to get it onto MTV," recalled Morello.

As the guitarist tells it, “We make the video and it’s fantastic and I’m watching the video in the back of the bus with our A&R guy and it goes by and I’m like, ‘What do you think?’ And he’s like, ‘We’re doomed, because there’s cursing in it.’ And I’m like, ‘We’ve forensically gone through this video with all of our litigation staff and we’re like, 'no, no, no, it’s not in the lyrics. It’s an extemporaneous remark that Zack makes before the beat drops where he says, ‘Bring that shit in.'”

But that offhand remark at the front raised some concern for certain, before Morello says they came up with a work-around, revealing the remark at the beginning wasn't what it may have sounded like. Rather than "Bring that shit in," he offered that de la Rocha was saying something else. He recollects, “What if he’s saying, ‘Bring the shiteen,’ cause shiteen is the Aztec word for ‘freedom.’ So what if we are bringing the ‘shiteen’ in and there’s no cursing?”

That said, Morello sheepishly questions, “Now, is shiteen the Aztec word for freedom? As far as Viacom knows it is, and that record got on MTV and we sold 3 million copies of that record and let an entirely new generation know about Leonard Peltier.”

"Freedom" made its debut on MTV's 120 Minuteson Dec. 19, 1993 and was in heavy rotation for MTV in the early part of 1994, giving the band the platform they needed to break to a larger audience in the U.S. Now ain't that some shiteen.

Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello Speaks to the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression

Rage Against the Machine, "Freedom"

10 Rock + Metal Tours From 1993 We Wish We Could See Now

Taking it back to 1993, one of the most diverse years for rock and metal music on the road.

Sent from my iPhone

[stenka-razin]

The Star Trek Generations Review I Posted on Letterboxd Earlier

Cuz I know y’all like Star Trek!

Yeah it’s not very good. I think most of the TNG flicks are a mixed bag at best and while this isn’t the worst, it’s a mess and really rough at times. I would, however, be remiss if I didn’t point out the nuggets of good ideas mixed in here, and I think the best is Picard’s arc. Picard is confronted with a traumatic event in his Brother and Nephew dying off screen, leaving him the last of the Picards. I think his knee-jerk to immediately regretting not raising a family of his own is a little abrupt given his reputation for hating all children, but it is sensible in the face of a great tragedy. And once within the Nexus he’s tempted with his own zoo of kids. It’s what he wants at that moment. And the resolution is a wise choice. Picard doesn’t end the film with any sort of child, surrogate or otherwise, but just a renewed appreciation of his life and decisions. You will always have regrets, so it’s important to treasure the decisions you’ve made. Yes, it isn’t the most revolutionary statement, even within Star Trek which already has many movies about getting old, but it is effective.

The same motif is played with Kirk. And it’s much worse. Kirk seems to regret his whole life as a Starfleet Officer, in the Nexus living out the moment he told his lover he would reenlist in Starfleet, effectively dooming that relationship and setting him on the course to all the adventures we know and love. Only this time he stays with her, casting Starfleet to the side. Star Trek? Fuck that! It’s a character decision that not only clashes with how Kirk had been developed over the last 4.5 films, it doesn’t even develop naturally within Generations. Kirk’s whole journey starts because he finds out Sulu managed to raise a family*. But we know that it was never an either or decision because Sulu was in all those movies doing the Starfleet thing! Hell, in the opening sequence we even see Kirk still striving to get into the action of the Captain’s seat. This is not a character that comes off as regretting being a Starfleet Captain. And to make matters worse, the woman he gives it all up for is literally never mentioned before the final act of this film. If you’re going to make one of the iconic heroes of screen give up everything that makes him heroic, you should let the audience understand what he’s doing so for. Hell, if they didn’t want to spend time developing another character, they could have referenced someone from a previous episode or movie, like Carol Marcus, since this movie expects you to have seen every previous Star Trek anyway.

That last sentence is really what pushes this movie from an eh Star Trek film to a bad one. So many TNG plots are tied off in this. On one hand, yeah it is rewarding for fans. Just because it’s going to the cinema for general audiences doesn’t mean they need to abandon plotlines the Trekkies have been following for seven years. But they take so many of these and while they try to recap the broad details for anyone who missed an episode or just plain forgot about them, it diminishes the impact everything has. All the references to El-Aurians and the Borg feel simultaneously integral to this plot and not nearly developed enough for us to really connect with the Sorin character. Same with the references to Picard’s family. But all the other stuff? Save it for other movies! Like the Duras sisters didn’t really need to be here, and they barely even remind you what their agenda is beyond “Klingon nonsense.” The Emotion Chip? Yeah, doesn’t connect to the main plot at all. You gotta have Riker because he’s main cast, but he has nothing to do here. I’m shocked Q didn’t stop by just to say Hi.

All of this complicates a plot that barely has legs anyway. The basic premise, guy is obsessed with getting back to the Nexus to get away from his tortured ending existance, is reasonable enough as a plot. Him kidnapping Geordi and probing him for information about Trilithium? Absolutely pointless. Sorin already knows how Trilithium works and he has no reason to assume he can use his VISOR to spy on the Enterprise. Then they get into a needlessly confusing prisoner exchange scene and patience is tested. About getting into the Nexus. I’ll buy that yes he has a missile that can shoot into the sun in 11 seconds and that for some reason he can’t fly into the Nexus but can stand on a planet being annihilated by it because reasons. It’s at least addressed. Sorin’s method of moving the Nexus ribbon by destroying stars fucking with Gravity. They could dwell on the ramifications a little more but it’s a cool concept. Here’s what’s dumb though: If they don’t stop Sorin they get sucked into the Nexus. And that happens. The nature of the Nexus is it is a place without time, so you can exit it at any point. Even ignoring the stupid idea to pop out just seconds earlier instead of days where they could have saved more lives. The issue I have here is that, there is no tension. You fail to stop him? You go to the Nexus. Where you can leave whenever. So you can try to stop him again. And if you fail that time? You go to the Nexus, leave, try again. And on and on. They would have infinite chances to stop him so… who cares? Picard and Kirk literally cannot lose….

So there you have it. It’s stupid mess of a movie that tries 9 million things and only kind of succeeds at one. If it weren’t for Nemesis existing it would easily be the worst TNG flick. I’ll still take its attempts at life philosophy over anything in the Abrams films, but it’s just not a good successor for either TNG the show, or the Star Trek films. And it absolutely does not work as a stand alone film.

*I like that Kirk says it wouldn’t be the Enterprise without a Sulu at the helm, when literally the previous movie Sulu is captain of a whole different ship. Which yeah that’s another thing. Sulu raised a family AND became captain. He didn’t have to give up shit! BAD PREMISE.

P.S. Yeah it’s very obvious from the dialogue that Chekov and Scottie were supposed to be Spock and McCoy. Would have been a great character moment if Kirk was reminiscing about Spock and Picard was like, oh yeah, one time I was sent to arrest him. Great friends with his dad, though!

P.P.S. Oh yeah, Shatner and Stewart have no chemistry. No threat to the Spirk shippers here. They’re literally riding horse in the most romantic setting on Earth, with Kirk preparing a homemade breakfast and everything.

[misslovasstuff]

Why Dazai is a complex character

We all know how hard it is to get in this man’s mind, right?

First, let’t take a look on what makes a character complex:

- Conflicted or contradictory motives - Change or grow as a result of the story’s actions - Decisions advance the story’s plot - Create conflict in the story’s plot or theme - Learn something about themselves

 It fits Dazai perfectly, right? Now let’s take them one by one.

1. Conflicted or contradictory motives

- to die/to find meaning/to save others/? What the audience is given to realize is that Dazai wants salvation through death. His desire to die comes with a shade of humor to hide how sad and tragic it really is. Other than that, one motive of his is the promise he made to his friend who died on his arms. You see it right? Dazai’s motives are contradictory because he saves people but can’t really save himself. Although Dazai is on the side of ‘good’ which is actually something that doesn’t really exist in BSD world because everything is more like in a gray area, his motives are more focused on others rather than himself. While on the mafia, his focus was on himself, his doom and suffering. That’s what made him so miserable. People aren’t sure whether Dazai has changed, and they question his conflicted motives. But in reality, it’s very simple. Dazai has no hidden motives other than the ones we already know. He’s not the type to aim for power and fortune. Dazai just wants a bit of happiness, he wants to answer questions that are impossible to answer. I’d like to quote a Dostoevsky saying:

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

2. Change or grow as a result of the story’s actions Dazai’s grow is something people fail to see. I’ve read thoughts on this matter and some claim that Dazai hasn’t changed at all. That is partly true.  Before Oda’s death, Dazai was not open to people (and still isn’t) but the difference stays on how he dealt with it. In the dark era, Dazai drowned himself in misery, seeing only darkness and claiming that this is how it always has been for him. Whilst in the time being, Dazai hides his misery behind a smile and happy facade. Bsck then, he made no attempt to change, nor did he tried to look things differently. Dazai was alone, completely. There were times he was surrounded by people he genuinely cared about, like Oda. Now, the thing is, without Oda, Dazai may have never gotten the development he got. Hardly would the things lead differently if Oda was still alive. With Oda, Dazai felt comfortable, not judges. He felt like he could open up with him because Oda would always listen to Dazai without joking around or judging him. That’s the reason why Odasaku was the only person that came close to understanding Dazai, because he was the only one Dazai opened up to. I believe that is becuase in reality, Dazai trusted Oda. We know how easily he can see through people. Perhaps, he saw in Oda that kindness and goodness that intrigued him. He saw such integrity and selflessness that made him lower his guard.  Their relationship was beautiful. They let aside the ranks and always had each other’s backs. Sometimes, between two people, it just clicks. It feels like you’ve known each other for a long time and you find yourself comfortable, you let yourself be. That’s how Dazai was. Maybe, the only thing that kept him happy, was his friendship with Odasaku and Ango. Because those were two people that accepted him the way he was, people who appreciated life and had dreams and goals, something that Dazai longs to have. When Odasaku died, Dazai’s hope died with him. Although extremely intelligent, Dazai is optimistic. He had hope that he’d find a solution to his problem, but Oda’s words shattered him.

Dazai did not cry. But you can tell that he’s ready to. Look at his face and tell me that that’s not the most devastating Dazai you have ever seen. His lip trembles and his eyes give away how hard it is for him, how hard it has always been. This is the moment that Dazai takes the decision to change, keeping the promise of his friend to become a good man and protect others.

3- Decisions advance the story’s plot Dazai is the one who comes up with brilliant strategies, but that’s not all of it. 

- He took Atsushi under his mentoring and hired him as an agent in the ADA.  Atsushi plays a very important role in almost every mission or situation that ADA is in.  If Atsushi wasn’t in the ADA, things might have gone completely different. - Dazai decided to join the good side. Yet again, if Dazai didn’t join the ADA, there would be no Atsushi, no shin-soukoku and probably the ADA would have already fallen due to the immense power the mafia would have with Dazai in it. More people would die, wars would destroy the city and things may have gotten to be worse. - The creation of shin-soukoku The plot goes around Atushi and Akutagawa as the new generation of the double black, a powerful duo brought together for the good of the city, to defeat the greater evil. Their mentor, who sees the potential in them better than everyone else, has forcefully made them work together, which had successful results. If Dazai didn’t make such decision, Atsushi and Akutagawa may had already killed each other. - Dazai decides almost any plan and strategy there is. He plays his cards well and the way he thinks and acts determine the aftermath.

4- Create conflict in the story’s plot or theme - Dazai’s a problematic character for a lot of reasons. He’s lazy, distracted, unbothered, mysterious and secretive. Sometimes, unwillingly he creates conflicts that sometimes as viewed lightly by the audience. Like the shin-soukoku conflict. A part why Aku hates Atsushi is because he is Dazai’s junior  and that he gets almost everything that he himself once desired. He gets praise and acknowledgment from Dazai. The latter, has not acknowledged Aku that way he wants to, but surely he has acknowledged him on his own way. Dazai made him part of the new double black and puts his trust in him and Atsushi. Dazai too believes in the quote that ‘only a diamond can polish a diamond’. Furthermore, we have the conflict between the mafia and the ADA. You may think that it’s not directly tied to Dazai, but he plays a major role. Having Dazai in the opposite team, makes it harder for the mafia to create successful operations. Not only Dazai’s intelligent and cunning, but he’s an ex-member himself which makes him even more of a threat to the mafia. His suicidal tendencies is the reason why he met Atsushi in the first place. So in a way, Dazai drives the plot of the story.

5- Learn something about themselves I believe that this is the point we are all looking forward to. Although we have already caught a glimpse of Dazai considering his worth as a human being in the Dead apple movie, but also in the manga countless times.

Just look at his expression. How his eyes close so peacefully when Atsushi claims that he does things that let him know that Daza’s a good guy (visiting graves and also in the end of the movie...)

Dazai sees himself rather harshly. He judges himself for his past and puts himself in constant misery. Maybe he doesn’t accept the fact that he’s a ‘good guy’, but he’s desperately trying to be.

Take a look to the following panel (chapter 50)

You can tell how much Dazai wants to help and this warms my heart so much.

“Yosano could heal me and I could help in the search”

 He clenches the sheet because of the frustration of not being able to help; that his ability is holding him back. 

HE’S BLAMING HIMSELF.

Like one would say that he’s injured, or that he was shot, but no. Dazai puts the blame on himself like he always does.

I’d like people to acknowledge Dazai’s growth because our boy is trying so hard. Dazai literally went from hell to salvation. He has already found his salvation but he hasn’t recognized that yet.

In conclusion, Dazai is the complex character we so much love. In the future, maybe we’ll be able to see him a bit more happy. Genuinely happy.

(sorry this was very sloppy but I hope you get the point)

[oswinsdolma]

Yes, it's nearly 2.00am (because that's apparently the only time I have inspiration to write essays) but I've been thinking a lot about this lately and wanted to get it off my chest, so here you go:

The main goal of Merlin becomes disturbingly fractured along the way, which opens up the gaps for the prophecy to seep through instead of following the expected channels, but it can essentially be boiled down to three key elements 1) build albion; 2) decriminalise magic and 3) save Arthur, but when all is said and done, we never really see any of those objectives achieved.

Now, there are a few reasons for this, both from a writing perspective and a plot perspective. The first, and one of the most obvious, is that this show loves irony. I won't go into a lot of detail here because I've already written a whole ass essay in this very subject, but in a nutshell, you can look at this from two perspectives: firstly, it's important to establish that this technique is purely about the angst: it's the writers' way of provoking a reaction from an anguished audience, but it's foreshadowed just enough to make it more painful than it is shocking. Alternatively, there is the more plot motivated irony in that it genuinely makes a good story. Irony is a technique that has been used for thousands of years, not just because it provokes a reaction from the audience, but because it allows you to explore your characters in greater detail than before, riddling them with hidden juxtapositions and internal conflicts that are never resolved quite in the way you expect. The irony in Merlin is the epitome of this, with the whole motif of Arthur needing to die for his reign to begin. It is a classic example of the simultaneous despair and hope that mocks you from the shadows.

Following this, there is another force at play that deals with half truths and seemingly imperfect contradictions, and that's prophecy. It's not really a secret that I have very strong feelings about prophecy and its effects on all the characters, Merlin in particular, and the fact that fate and destiny are such key themes in Merlin both makes perfect sense and wants me to smash my head into a brick wall. Prophecies are another common trope that often go hand in hand with irony (think Oedipus Rex, Macbeth, The Iliad, all that doomed hero shit that I inexplicably adore), the key to their influence over the plot often lying in how they usually come true in the most unexpected of ways. This links back to that initial theme of irony, but this isn't what makes me angry: what is infuriating is that prophecies tend to come true, no matter what, and most of the characters seem not only to know this, but to let it take their autonomy over their respective fates, driving them to disaster.

Let me elaborate: especially in season five (I'm assuming just for the added fall at the end), Merlin talks a lot about how "one day, things will be different". He tells sorcerers that one day they won't have to hide. That one day, they won't have to live in fear of who they are and what others think of them. And Merlin is right: while it is not explicitly stated, it's generally established that this is one of the things Merlin should actively be working towards. But here's the kick: except for a few specific circumstances, when has Merlin ever actively tried to change Arthur's mind about magic? Yes, he has taken a few opportunities, like with Dragoon saving Uther's life, or with the Dolma's final request, where he has encouraged Arthur to rethink his choices, but otherwise, his support has been lukewarm at best. Instead, his primary concern was always saving Arthur, so he can become the king the magical world hoped he'd be, but he left out a crucial part, trusting in the prophecy to fill in the gaps. He knew it would come true, but it was, almost predictably, in the one way he never dared to expect.

And in a twisted way, there's that thread of irony again: Merlin thought he was saving Arthur so he could one day become the king who would see magic as a force for good, but instead, he created someone who was merely a survivor. It was Kilgharrah who said it first, and he who would mention it last: they are two sides of the same coin. But as willing as Merlin was to give his life for Arthur, and vice versa, he was never really ready to give him his mind.

Another interesting thing to note is Merlin's fixation on the "Saving Arthur" lens of the prophecy over the "Restoring Magic" part. Now, there are a ton of ways you can look at this, depending on how far along the scale of Queer Analysis you are, so I'm going to try and address a couple. At one end of the scale, you have the fairly simple and very believable "merthur" take. This basically boils down to the fact that Merlin and Arthur may or may not be deeply in love with one another, and that drowns out any voice of reason that may unfold. This is actually fairly canon compliant, particularly looking at incidents such as the Disir, when Merlin chooses Arthur over his and his people's freedom, though that choice was clearly, in hindsight, misadvised.

At the other end of the spectrum, there is the idea that it is the work of Kilgharrah, Gaius and other responsible figures in Merlin's life when he was new to his role in destiny, who reiterated at every occasion that Arthur must be protected at all costs. This may have ingrained into Merlin's thoughts and influenced his decisions from here on out.

Between those two points, there is a grey area, and I am of the personal opinion that neither extreme entirely satisfies the situation. For me, I think the characters in question are far too complex to have such simple motivations, and that the true reason lies somewhere between the two: Merlin undoubtedly cares for Arthur, and while at the start, his actions in protacting Arthur may have been driven by other (largely superficial) motives, over time, their mutual affection blossomed to the point where certainly the more personal quests were motivated not by need, but by love. However, there is a divide here, and while the line in the sand smudges from time to time, it never really disappears: a lot of instances in which Merlin is trying to help Arthur are entirely overshadowed by destiny, and in time, Merlin comes to accept that Arthur and Destiny are, in fact, one and the same, and this is where that ever-present tragedy lies. For all he truth in here, Merlin doesn't get everything quite right: he sees Arthur as a balance that needs to be protected, without fully realising that he doesn't just have to keep the sides of his equation in equilibrium, but he actually has to start solving them if he wants them to endure.

Having just said all that, sometimes I decide to fuck over complexity for a few hours purely because I am a shameless merthur hoe.

Also, can you take a moment to please note that this last section is highly subjective and it is completely up to you as to what you decide!! This is just my opinion and you're welcome to agree or disagree at any point.

So, aside from the Angst Factor™ and twisted character development, why was the main goal never fulfilled? Unfortunately, that is a question far cleverer people than me can only speculate, as the writers alone know the answers, but I'm going to give my opinion a shot. Honestly, there is something beautifullly poetic about something that never ends, or ends when there could be something more. Humanity has struggled with endings-and beginnings- since it learned truly how to think, because that kind of finality, that inkling that there might have been nothing before and after something else is incomprehensible. In leaving Merlin in a place where the next point was uncertain, the writers left the story open for us. In depriving us of that catharsis, they effectively made sure that the story would never be over, not until we want it to be. And yes, it was painful. I can't think of an ending that was more heartbreaking than that curious mixture of closures and openings all at the same time (hell, I could write a whole essay based on this concept alone!), but it was also a gift, ironically like that of the prophecy itself in that we can choose what we want to do with it, safe in the knowledge that there will be a happy ending again, one day.

In summary, we might not be left with catharsis in the way we wanted. We might not have got the happy ending that could also have stretched on and on indefinitely. But we were left with something else, something equally beautiful as closure, but in the complete opposite way. Amongst the remains of allwe had hoped to build, Merlin left us hope.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 5

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader (Gender neutral) Rating: T for language and mentions/references to an (emotionally) abusive relationship. Mild, brief violence. Warnings: TW for referenced emotional abuse, mild TW for possible physical abuse (sorry, angry Dani is not 100% gentle with people she doesn't love-love) Notes: Music for this chapter here. If you're following this story and really want to continue reading, but worry about the TWs for this chapter, just send me an anonymous message and I'll write up an alternative version of this post. It's not something I would do without it being requested, but it's also not a big deal so don't feel like you're bothering me if you want that. Previous Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Tocatta

Chapter 5: Poco a Poco (Italian: Little by little)

Finding a schedule for lessons to follow proved to be an insurmountable task. Consistency was something that Daniela struggled with greatly, even when it came to things that she genuinely cared about. Things like ensuring you lived long enough to entertain her. Instead of working with you to find a balance that worked for both of you, the youngest Dimitrescu daughter seemed intent on doing things in her own time. Little by little. Which would have been fine, if the two of you weren’t restricted by time.

Fate wasn’t entirely unkind, however. There were still a few things that Daniella recalled from her “youth”, bits and pieces of musical theory, the bare basics of reading sheet music. Not having to teach her proper posture or the structure of a piano would save you a little bit of time. On top of that, you had been informed that, somewhere in the castle, there were a few books of sheet music you could borrow. Assuming you were eventually able to find them, that is. So far they had eluded you, but you hadn’t even had much time to search, as you were still expected to perform your usual Maiden-related tasks.

In the end, it was Daniela herself that proved to be the biggest obstacle in your way.

“Look,” Daniela said one day, barely ten minutes into a lesson, “I think we should take a break… maybe have some fun?” One of her hands is resting on top of yours, the other tucking your hair behind your ear. There’s a smirk on her lips, unsurprisingly, and she’s mere inches away from kissing you. If not for the heavy threat hanging over your head, you would have already thrown yourself into her arms. Instead, all you can do is sigh, turning away from her as you do. “Don’t be like that, sweet thing. C’mon, no one can hear us right now. Might as well enjoy ourselves.”

“Babe. Darling. Buttercup, honey, cute little button on a bear, you are not the brightest bulb in the lighting department,” you replied, holding the bridge of your nose between two fingers. Instantly Daniela is upset, giving you a (thankfully) playful smack on the arm. Before she can protest more you continue speaking. “Your family would not hear us making out, true, but they would definitely hear us not playing the piano. I’m pretty sure your mother already thinks I’m doomed to fail as a teacher, and the last thing I need is to give her a reason to drop the curtains this early into our performance.”

“First of all, I am not an idiot,” Daniela said, a bit of a growl to her voice. “Secondly, what harm can a few minutes really do? Don’t you think I’ve been working hard enough to earn a little reward?” Now she’s holding a finger under your chin, lifting it up, making sure you’re looking right at her. There’s no dissuading her, it seems, as she leans in for a soft kiss. This was one of the more frustrating aspects of dealing with (courting?) her; communication felt like a one-man play, except the audience was as likely to throw knives as rotten tomatoes. Whenever Daniela acted like this, pushing away your concerns in favor of her pleasure, it felt helpless to try and resist her.

So you kissed back, wrapped your arms around her, and hoped that she’d be more open to compromise afterwards. At least kissing her was nice. Even though it had only been a week since you first kissed her, she was already getting better, evidently learning through experience. The passion behind her movements had grown as well, leaving you a tad breathless. Regardless of her odd perception of romance, and her insistence that she knew best, you found yourself charmed by her. It was scary. Terrifying, really, how you felt yourself falling under her spell. Wait. Hadn’t you been in this sort of situation before?... Staying with someone who wasn’t good for you? Why were you kissing her? Why were you starting to tremble, tears in your eyes, mind falling down a slippery slope of memories?

By the time you snap out of it, you’re sitting on the floor, Daniela awkwardly kneeling by your side. What the fuck? You think, sniffling a little. Head spinning, mind reeling, you struggle to form coherent thoughts. Next to you Daniela is unsure of how to help. But she’s trying, sort of, one hand holding your own, the other gently rubbing your back. She’s saying something, the words going right over your head. Understanding her takes times, focus, like tuning an instrument until the pitch is just right.

“I don’t understand, we were only kissing, what happened? Can you even hear me? Is this your way of tricking me into not making out with you? Because that’s a total dick move and-” she rambles, only stopping when you give her hand a soft squeeze. Then she’s meeting your gaze, looking uncomfortable, shoulders tense. “You’ve been weird for a while. Distant. Like you don’t want to touch me anymore. Don’t you still love me?”

There’s real, honest pain in her eyes when she speaks. If the timing had been different… you’d have thrown your arms around her and covered her face in kisses, promising to hold her onto she felt better, promising that yes you cared. You cared so fucking much. But she’s making you exhausted; every second has to be focused on her, not you. Every moment of concern is flipped around until she’s the victim, or at least the one that needs comforting. You didn’t think that she even realized what she was doing. Well, you hoped that she didn’t, wanted to believe that if she understood she’d change.

“Remember the first day we kissed?... how you pulled me close, and I kissed you harder, and we started…. Remember how I made a move and you pushed me away? I’ll never forget the look on your face. I felt like shit afterwards. I should have asked before I tried anything,” you explain, letting go of Daniela’s hand so you could pull your knees to your chest. Somehow you can’t bring yourself to maintain eye contact with her- not right now, not when you could still remember what it felt like to be on her side of this story. “I don’t want to push your boundaries, or make you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you like that.”

“Oh bullshit,” Daniela snarled, shocking you, before getting to her feet. Confusion doesn’t begin to describe how you feel in the moment as you watch her pace back and forth. Both her hands are clenched into fists, and she’s refusing to look at you. There’s a buzzing sound in the room, faint but growing louder, like she’s a split second away from entering swarm mode. “We’re a couple, aren’t we? Shouldn’t you be able to tell what I want? Shouldn’t it be obvious what I desire, when I’m pinning you to the wall and shoving my tongue down your throat? What more do you require?”

“Holy shit, Dani, I know communication isn’t your forte, but have you really not even considered talking to me? That’s simple, easy, literally the first thing that should come to mind!” You snapped, too in disbelief to keep your voice down. For a moment Daniela stops her pacing, turning to stare at you with narrowed eyes. If you weren’t so mad, you’d be convinced she was ready to kill you. But she doesn’t move to grab her sickle, or otherwise advance on you, instead groaning and tugging on her own hair in frustration.

“Because that’s not romantic, genius!” She replied. Some dots start to connect in your mind, but you lack the full context, as if looking at sheet music with no clefs or time signature. It’s not until Daniela continues that you really understand; and, by extension, realize just how ridiculous this whole mess is. “None of the books I’ve read involve conversations like this. People just… they just love each other! And figure it out as they go along, reading each other’s body language and facial expressions, inferring what they need to know through touches and reactions. Why can’t we do that?”

“This isn’t a fucking book, dumbass! I don’t have powers like you, I can’t just read your mind and figure out what you want. That’s not how relationships work! Communication is key. And you can’t just talk, you have to listen, hard, and understand,” you continued, still on the floor, heart pounding so furiously you thought it might leap from your chest at any moment. As angry as you are, you wonder if you’re being too loud, too angry, wonder if there was a better way to get through to Daniela. Before you can think of a solution the air is ripped from your lungs. Your “partner”/student is grabbing you by the front of your shirt, yanking you to your feet. Instinct makes you struggle against her, as useless as it is.

“I. Told. You. I’m not an idiot!” Her free hand comes up to your face, cupping your cheek for a moment, then pulling away just as fast. When it moves back up she’s gripping onto her sickle. The sharp edge ends up resting against your neck, the slightest movement threatening to cut you open. This is the most Daniela has ever openly threatened you, and in that moment all your anger melts back into fear, tears spilling down your cheeks. A flicker of something shows in her eyes, making you think that even she doesn’t like where this is going. “Give me one reason not to end this right now.”

“... I don’t… I can’t think. I… Why would you?” The words leave you in a rush, even with the pauses, and each syllable makes the sickle press into your skin a little more. There’s sure to be a cut there, though you can’t even begin to estimate how bad it is. The blade is sharp, clearly, and it hardly even hurts as it slices you. Thankfully the sensation doesn’t last long. Once you’re done speaking, Daniela’s grip loosens considerably, hand slowly letting your shirt go. Her other hand takes a few seconds to move, but eventually pulls away without any fuss. For a few seconds she just watches you, eyes filled to the brim with a rich sorrow, mouth open but unmoving.

“No lesson tomorrow. I need a break,” Daniela whispers, barely audible. Then she’s dusting herself off, no longer looking at you, and heading towards the exit. Just like the first time you met, she pauses in the doorway. “How’s that for communication, hmm?” When she laughs, it’s empty, forced. Part of you wants to stop her and ask if she’s okay.

Instead, you watch her leave, unspoken words tangling with your tongue until you almost can’t swallow.

Then your feet move, automatically, leading you to the piano. You sit down without thinking. You touch the keys without thinking. When you play, you play without thinking. It’s just a song, the world tells you, and you have no choice but to play. It’s not just a song, you know this, but you can’t think. Can’t argue against the personification of your isolation, or the embodiment of your trauma. All you can do is let yourself get lost in the music, softly, recalling lyrics from a forgotten time.

I’ve been running all my life, trying to find a place to hide ‘Thought that I had settled down, but I guess things are changing now Don’t make me go, don’t make me go Just don’t make me go, this feels like home

As soon as the last note fades out you stand, wordlessly, and leave. Your feet carry you down corridor after corridor, past maidens working, some of whom gasp when they see you. But you don’t stop, not even when you cross paths with Lady Bela, who eyes you with surprising concern. She doesn’t try to stop you, though, and you doubt you would have cared if she had tried. It’s not until you are within your shared room that you finally stop moving. It is there that you sit, shaking, finally pressing a cloth to your neck. Blood stains the fabric, first in just a few dots, then spreading out. There’s not enough to make you fear for your life, but there is enough to make you cry harder. Washing the wound will sting… so you don’t do that. Soon you will have to return to your work, and the thought puts pressure on your skull, summoning an all-too-familiar migraine.

When you close your eyes, you don’t mean to fall asleep, but that is exactly what you do. And when you dream, you do not wish for nightmares. You never do- and fate never denies you their company.

[strawberri-draws]

Hi, I just liked a bunch of your danganronpa art, sorry if it's bothersome. I was wondering about your post-game v3 art with the kids in hospital wear, including those that died. Is there a story/headcanon behind that?

Its no bother!! I love when people ask about my aus :,DD (long ramble incoming alskfjd)

The short answer for that drawing is that drv3 was a simulation, they all survived, and are recovering in a hospital (mentally and physically) before being released; thus forcing the characters all together and yay hijinks and angst. I feel like Kokichi, Korekiyo, and Angie would be an interesting dynamic because they were the most antagonistic forces in the game (beside the mastermind, of course), and they could be pushed together because of that. It'd be really awkward as say, Korekiyo to try and get along with a survivor who beat the mastermind, but getting along with kokichi, who did a lot of awful stuff? yeah, neither party can really judge too hard there lol. Also they deserve to heal :,3 let them have friends PLEASE DR IM BEGGIN- yeah.

To be honest though, that drawing isn't about a specific au, more the idea of which drv3 characters would interact post-game. But I do have a few post-game au's I like to play around with for drv3; because as much as I love the ambiguous ending more focused on relaying a (pretty cool) message, I also love to theorize about how everything actually happened, (especially because the danganronpa world and its mechanics is very intriguing to me lol).

One head canon I like is that Tsumugi was lying. Or at least, stretching the truth a bit. There are a few dialogue and story hints that kind of point at this, but nothing too concrete. The point is to doubt all the truths the game tells you, why would the ending be any different? So essentially the tragedy, hopes peak, that stuff did happen. Danganronpa is kind of an offshoot of despair; a weird fanbase that sprouted from the original worldwide broadcast of the dr1 killing game. Imagine how awful it would be to open a tv and see a bunch of teens killing each other, yet how invigorating and (dare I say) hopeful to see them beat the cause of the literal end of the world. So maybe, in a twisted sense, danganronpa became a way to connect with that. To see hope triumph over despair. And as time went on, (remembering there are at least 51 games), it became more of a commodity. Who knows what the outside world is like now? Maybe danganronpa does have a wide audience. Yet as Shuichi says, it's actually an awful thing, a repeating cycle doomed to kill. I don't know; there's a lot of ways you could explain the reasoning behind said games. But, I do think that it was somehow virtual. Like, come on. The "flash back lights" and the "magic items" that somehow build architecture instantly, its all things that sdr2 used to really hit home how different the atmosphere was from the first game, because of its virtual (and thus almost limitless) nature. So at the end, they wake up, and.... yeah they're still probably with the Danganronpa group. And said group probably would not be pleased with them, especially the survivors, because they wrecked their (profitable) show!! rude. Another thing to grapple with is how much of their backstories were fabricated, and how much was fact, so you can sprinkle in some identity crisis throughout this timeline lol.

Theres a few ways you can go from here; from making future foundation/the previous casts of characters interfere and rescue them, making danganronpa a more small, despair rooted group, or the drv3 cast can even infiltrate/fight danganronpa themselves! Or they can just go out and live their lives to the best of their abilities, heal and all that :,). I don't know, there is lots fo ways you can take this. I'm kind of writing/drawing stuff for an au along this vein currently, too!

Another detail I would like to add is my personal head canons for Tsumugi and Rantaro specifically: I strongly suspect that Tsumugi herself was a previous contestant in drv2, Rantaro's game. The reason for this is the 2 person survivor rule that Monokuma mentions. At the end of drv3, there are technically 4 survivors not including the mastermind. Kiibo, Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko. Both Kiibo and Maki offer to sacrifice themselves so that Shuichi and Himiko can live according to Monokuma's rules. But Monokuma doesn't really say what actually will happen to them. I like to think that perhaps in drv2, Tsumugi and Rantaro were either the only survivors, or that they volunteered to sacrifice themselves for two other classmates. Monokuma could then justify a punishment for that being they both have to enter the next killing game, brainwashing or somehow convincing tsumugi to mastermind and giving Rantaro a survivors perk. I don't know, just something I usually keep in mind when I think about post game drv3 aus. Tsumugi could be such a compelling character no matter her motivations, and I will be eternally sad that drv3 didn't put much effort into giving her that, or even using her effectively in the plot much before the reveal. Also, I think cospox is kinda stupid, and something Tsumugi either made up or exaggerated, because really. I can suspend my disbelief but it would be so much cooler if she was just using that as an excuse. If you must take it into account however, I like to think there is a possibility tsumugi herself thought that the dr1 and sdr2 games were fiction, and that was why this was justified. food for thought I guess.

All my opinions of course, and I could go on but this is already kinda too long, and includes many tangents rip. I just love theorizing about this series so much!! alsdkjf thanks for the ask, hope I answered your question lol :,3

[let-them-read-fics]

Empress of the Heart (Pt. 2)

Synopsis / Request: “Reader is an actress, and she meets Jennie at an event. They have a one night stand afterward, and months later they meet again.”

Pairing: Jennie x Fem!Actress!Reader

Warnings / Misc: Smut (only in Pt. 1), Angst, Fluff

Here’s the second half of the request for you lovely peeps! Enjoy :)

Part 1

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

◇◇◇◇◇

"Y/N, more people are arriving and management wants us to greet them. Something about photo ops." Jackson, your fellow lead, says as he pokes his head into your dressing room. His entrance intruded on your thoughts of the beautiful brunette that effectively stole your heart away within a night, leaving you completely at her mercy despite being worlds away.  

"Alright, just give me a second." He nods and goes to stand outside your door -- you're expected to be seen together for a good portion of the night. Thankfully, though, Jackson is a good guy; he cares a lot about you, always doing everything in his power to keep you happy. The feeling is mutual; it's nice to have someone in your corner in an industry as unforgiving as this one. 

"Ready?" You ask, opening the door after you've checked yourself in the mirror and smoothed down any unruly hairs or clothing. Looking presentable is a must tonight -- you can't appear as wistful as you've been feeling lately. 

"Sure am." His answer is a bit unnecessary, seeing as how you asked a rhetorical question, but you send him a smile nonetheless. He offers you an arm, and soon the two of you are walking back towards the entrance of the building. 

--------

Waves of flashing cameras greet you for the second time tonight, now capturing you in your full glammed-out look. The first time had been a few hours ago when your team arrived to begin setting up and get all of you ready. 

The entire cast now stands stretched out in front of the large screen that will air the movie later, your arms around each other as you smile for the cameras. Promotional pictures shine behind you on the screen, serving as a perfect backdrop as they cycle through their predetermined slideshow.

Eventually, you all disperse to greet some guests. 

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Choi. It's wonderful seeing you again." 

"I hope you enjoy our performances, Mrs. Lee. Your support has meant the world to us." 

"Ah, Jeong! How've you been?" 

Countless faces pass by as you work hard to greet everyone, knowing full well your company will be upset if you slack off now. It's everyone's big night, so they obviously can't have their leading lady stopping for even a minute. 

You're almost ready to run to the restroom in order to have a moment to yourself, free of prying eyes and judgemental stares; but what you hear next sends a chill down your spine, an all too familiar ache in your chest. 

It's Jennie. She's laughing that wonderful laugh of hers, taking you back in time to when you first heard it. Her members must've said something really hilarious, because all of them are doubled over, clutching their stomachs with laughter. 

"Hey again," Jackson greets, and for a second you almost want to tell him to leave you alone. You don't, though, knowing you have no right to pull something like that. 

"YG's girl group just got here. Do you want to say hello?" Of course you do. You want to run into Jennie's arms and spin her around, reveling in the way her arms would surely wrap around you in that warm embrace that's so uniquely hers. You want to tell her a stupid joke to make her laugh again, like she had just a few moments ago. You want to talk to her. 

But you don't.

"No, not right now. I'm going to visit with my family, if that's alright with you." 

"Sure, sure." He says considerately, unwrapping his arm from you. You press a friendly kiss to his cheek as a thank you, letting it serve as a goodbye as well. 

"Eomma!" You shout, squeezing through the crowd when you spot her at one of the banquet tables lining the front of the room. The rest of the space is filled with rows of chairs, already set out for when the movie premieres. 

"Ah, baby girl. We're so proud of you." She says, holding you in a tight embrace as tears spill from her eyes. Her arms bring you comfort like no other, and you're beyond grateful to have her here tonight. Some of your friends stand behind her, too, waiting for their turn to say hello. 

Jennie watches you interact with them from across the room, and she feels a pang of sadness run through her. She's not naive to how these things work: your other cast mates had come over to greet her and girls, snapping pictures and even starting meaningful conversations in some cases -- all of that meaning you had been given the opportunity to do the same, but turned it down. Do you not want to see her? Maybe she had misjudged your night together. You are an actress, after all. 

She shakes her head, physically willing the thoughts to go away as she turns her focus to whatever new person was talking to them now. She continues stealing glances in your direction, finding you looking somewhere else every time. She'd give just about anything to have you look at her, if only for a moment. Just a glance, she thinks to herself, praying the universe hears her pleas. They seem to fall on deaf ears, though, because before she knows it the MC is calling all of you onto stage and the guests are directed to their seats. 

"Let's welcome the cast of Empress of the Heart!" The MC says cheerily, tucking his notecard underneath his arm in order to clap along with the audience. "They've spent months working hard for this project, travelling to filming locations in different countries, learning new languages, and facing their fears. We hope all of you thoroughly enjoy their performances. Now, I'll hand it over to our leads." 

You and Jackson bow towards the audience, waving at them politely as they applaud you again. He looks at you, a silent question of if you want to speak first, and you nod. Taking the mic from him, you say, "Firstly, I'd like to thank our incredible cast and crew. They played just as important a role in this movie as Jackson and I, and we're endlessly grateful for their hard work." More cheers ring out at your kind hearted show of appreciation, and you speak up again once they've died down. 

"These past few months have been some of the best of my life, and I owe that to people like you, and my fans. Thank you for taking a chance on me and supporting me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you." You say sincerely, looking into the camera that's recording all of this for exclusive content. When the movie drops for the public in a couple weeks, they'll be able to buy this tape as well and see highlights from the premiere. The thought of your fans watching it from the comfort of their own homes, yelling praises at their screens, makes you smile. 

Jackson takes over now, smoothly transitioning into his own mini speech of thanks. You stop your eyes from meeting the one pair that they so desperately want to, always keeping them trained on other parts of the crowd. If you allow your resolve to crumble, you'll get lost in her all over again and potentially screw up one of the biggest nights of your life. You can't take a risk like that. 

You laugh at something Jackson says, some joke about how you had to face your fear of heights for a scene in the movie, and Jennie takes a deep breath. She's not exactly jealous, but yet that's precisely the feeling that creeps its way into her chest. She knows that you're avoiding her for some reason, but she has no idea why. Did she do something wrong? 

--------

Why, why, did they have to sit Blackpink in the row right behind you? It's karmic, the universe's way of pushing you back to each other, but you don't know how to feel about it all. You can feel her eyes boring into you as each new scene plays, silently begging for you to turn around and talk to her, even if it's impolite to do so in the middle of a movie.

You don't, though, fighting every fiber of your being to keep yourself from giving in. 

Despite the emotions that swirl within her that pay little mind to the number they're doing on her heart, she actually finds herself enjoying parts of the movie. It's bittersweet, seeing you up there, but you command the screen in a way that seems to steal all coherent thoughts from her brain. You're truly skilled, and she gets a kick out of watching you hide behind your hands in embarrassment when your co-stars offer whispered praises.

During one scene in particular, though, Jennie's eyes drop to the floor, her teeth clenched together tightly. Your character just saved Jackson's from certain doom, and the two of you are sharing a long-overdue kiss. The rest of the crowd lets out approving noises at this, but Jennie is comforted by her members' soft smiles and reassuring touches. You feel guilty, for some reason, knowing that anything you were a part of made Jennie so upset. It shouldn't matter, though -- I mean, it's not like you and Jackson are actually together -- but still, it hurts Jennie to see him kiss you and hold you in the ways she wants to. 

The rest of the night carries on much the same, but later on, once you get enough courage to look for Jennie, she's gone. The other girls are too, and a sinking feeling settles in your chest. Gone -- again -- just like all that time ago. Your reasons for staying away from her were legitimate, but they felt nothing of the sort as you glanced around the crowd again. 

The movie ended earlier, already getting good marks and reviews from the critics who came to view it, and now the "afterparty" of sorts was kicking in. You hadn't expected the girls to stay long after the movie, but you'd at least hoped to utter a word to them, if nothing else. A smile would've sufficed. 

Realizing she's really gone, you let out a sad sigh and make your way down the hall, towards the large doors that lead to the balcony. If anything can clear your mind right now, surely it's a chilly breeze. 

You lay an arm against the sturdy railing, leaning on it as you massage your neck. All of the stress you've been put under is showing in the form of painful knots, far too many to get rid of in one go. You sigh, letting your head lull forward and lay against your arm.

"And here I was thinking I wouldn't see you again."

At the utterance, you turn around to find her leaned up against the stone wall of the building with a playful smirk on her lips. She's back to her old self in an instant, but you can sense the undertones of nervousness in her voice. 

The darkness of the night that envelops you two makes her eyes look even more feline -- even more alluring -- and it takes everything in you not to lose your train of thought. 

"Jennie." Her name comes out as a pleased declaration more than anything else, a familiar flutter taking over your heart at the sight of her. It's a warm feeling in your chest, and you never want it to go away. 

You try not to focus on the sensual swaying of her hips or the teasing look in her eye as she pushes herself away from the wall to approach you. 

"I thought you left." You breathe out, remembering how sad you were earlier. 

"Without getting you alone first? How could I?" The implication behind her words gives you pause, causing a blush to begin forming on your cheeks. You curse yourself for being so easy.

"I've missed you like crazy," she confesses, allowing herself to be vulnerable again. Now in front of you, she brushes the back of her fingertips against your cheek as you look into her eyes. 

"I've missed you, too -- more, probably," you say, the declaration sounding like an embarrassed sigh as it leaves your lips. She smiles at that -- her genuine, gummy smile that you've missed so much -- and your heart flutters again. 

She debates on asking the question that sits on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be answered. "Why didn't you greet me before, at the party?" Her voice is small now, insecure, as she avoids your gaze and stills her movements. 

"I-..." you start, finding yourself at a loss for words. Should you tell her how you feel?

"I was afraid you'd throw me off my game. You're pretty distracting, you know?" You reply, nudging her shoulder playfully. A hint of a smile tugs at her cheeks, unsure if it should finish the job and turn into a big one. 

"I thought I did something wrong." She informs.

"Not at all. In fact, you did things a little too right, if you ask me. I can't stay away from you, Jennie." Her heart trips and stumbles over itself in its pursuit of gaining a steady rhythm again, thrown off course by your words. 

Growing brave, she suggests, "Go on a date with me, then. I wanna have more nights like that with you." She whispers that last part, ghosting her fingertips over your skin to awaken the memories. 

"I'd like that," you smile, leaning in to kiss her lips. It's soft and gentle, much like your first one, and your heart hammers in your chest. It seems to forget that you've done this before, choosing instead to subject you to the giddiness you felt that first time with her. 

She pulls back to rest her forehead against yours, settling her arms around your waist, saying, "I've wanted to do that all night." You smile for the millionth time because of her, happy with how things have turned out.

"Do it again, then." 

And she does. 

[jimmyandthepulsatingmass]

Jimmy Day 2021 and the Upcoming Project

Jimmy’s 3rd anniversary kind of snuck up on me this year, probably because of the persistent feelings of doom and frustration over the pandemic.  I hope everyone who reads this is doing well in spite of everything.

Anyway, let’s talk about Jimmy!  I want to take a second to thank those of you who have treasured this game.  It never found a wide audience, but it did find an audience who cares for it deeply, and that means a lot to me.  I don’t have a lot of Jimmy-related news, but I do want to touch on a few things.  First, the vinyl is, as far as I’m aware, still being produced on schedule.  Hopefully, we’ll have pre-orders up in September which is next (!) month.  I’ve also been putting off updating Jimmy for a while, but I do plan on taking the time to do so once I reach the next stage of development on the next game.

Speaking of the next game, let’s talk about it a little (or a lot)!  I’ve been holding details close to my chest on it, but I want to give a few generalities on what to expect from this one.  It’s going to be another RPG, but the look and feel are going to differ from Jimmy.  It’s set on a planet inhabited by insectoid people who are mostly sociopathic, so the vibe is going to be way different.  I was inspired really heavily by the Lennus series on this one.  Like in Lennus, most of your characters are mercenaries, so they have their own motivations and self-interest, meaning they might turn against you, rob you, extort you, etc.

Although Lennus was the primary inspiration, the actual gameplay is going to be way different.  The level design, for instance, is going to be more like Chrono Trigger, where enemy encounters are on the screen and can mostly be avoided.  I’ve been playing a lot with the encounters, so I hope that their variety will keep people engaged.  Inside of battle, they’ll vary from Chrono Trigger--basically it’s going to be a combination of FF10′s visible turn order with Breath of Fire 3′s Ex turn system--with a few other wrenches in the works that I don’t want to get into yet.  But, this is one of the reasons I’ve been really excited to get away from RPG Maker.  Combat’s going to be deep with a lot of room for strategy, and I’m giving players a lot of options on how they form their parties and equip their characters.  If you thought Jimmy had a lot of interesting equipment options, this game’s going to blow you away!

The story structure is also going to be unique.  I’ve always been fond of the SaGa games, and I’m taking a page from their book and having multiple playable characters--four.  They’re all going to have their own stories and functions in the world, and their stories are broken into two parts.  The player will get a chance to play all of their first acts in a more linear, guided way (although there will be room for exploration for sure), and, after that, the player will be able to select a character to finish the game with.  Their final chapters will be much more open, like the World of Ruin in Final Fantasy 6, and, after beating a character’s game, the player can go back to the halfway point and select again if they would like.  Each character’s late game will contain some unique dungeons, variances on a lot of the dungeons shared between characters, and a unique plot and dialogue (including town NPCs).

It’s a large, ambitious game, which is why it’s taking so long to get out there.  The amount of planning I’ve done here is insane.  I have composed an 87 song soundtrack (this count will likely get larger), 600+ pages of dialogue for the main script, 750 pages (and counting) of dialogue for NPC dialogue, spreadsheets of data about equipment, monsters, magic, skills, etc., and around 60 levels (and counting) mapped out.  Actually, here’s a little visual aid about how I’ve been mapping out levels:

This is an optional late-game level called Nightmare Garden.  Each of the squares isn’t a room so much as it’s an area, and the rectangles that connect them just show that these areas are connected.  Each area will vary in terms of size and layout--this is just a rough plan for the mechanics of the level.  The lines indicate that you’ll go through a doorway or some other type of entrance, and the dotted lines means that there’s a secret path or a situational means of getting through a path (like a gate that opens from one side, for instance).  There’s also a staircase in the upper left and a little arrow near the middle top that represents a one-way jump.  The T’s represent treasure, the M’s represent monster encounters, and the S’s represent special notes--they might be some kind of field hazard, an interactable object, and so on.  I have a key in a spreadsheet that gives detailed descriptions of what’s going on at each of these points of interest--not going to share that, as it would be spoilers!

All that’s just to show you the level of planning I’m going through now and why this is taking so long.  As I’m working on this, my life-long friend and now business partner Jason is working on getting the essential systems coded.  You might remember his name from Jimmy’s credits--he helped test the game and also coded the system that allowed me to animate the battle backgrounds.

The time frame on this game is really hard to judge.  I imagine I still have 2-3 months left on level design, but, after that (or maybe before), I’m going to start looping artists in so that we can get enough art for a trailer, a demo, and promotional materials, and then, after that, we’ll be able to launch a Kickstarter and Steam page, which is when you’ll really get to see this game’s potential.  I’m sorry that I don’t give regular updates on this kind of thing, but it’s such a lengthy process and, without art done, I can’t really show you the GOOD STUFF yet.  But, I hope that this blog gives everyone a clearer understanding of what to expect and why this is taking forever.

Anyway, this was the least Jimmy-focused Jimmy Day blog I’ve written, so I’m going to stop talking, but I know that fans of Jimmy have been looking forward to news about this, so I wanted to get everything I can out.  Thanks for playing Jimmy, and thanks for your patience with this new game.  I appreciate y’all so much!

[life-rewritten]

WE BEST LOVE (Fighting Mr Second) Deyi And The Role of Family, Duty/Obligation and Responsibility.

Let’s get to it, oh my, We Best Love just keeps on getting better and better the more I break it down. Seriously I am so surprised by how much I can write about this show especially when it comes to these two, they’re so incredibly written in my perspective just because they hit all the right things I want from writing; they are 3 dimensional, they’re flawed and realistic, they are relatable (the more we get to understand why they do what they do) and their romance is both sweet and entertaining but also deep and serious. There’s nothing else I can say when it comes to praising this show especially season 2 which is very polarising to the audience because they feel whiplashed by the sudden seriousness and change of tone with the goals the show is trying to achieve. My thing is if you don’t understand the show properly, and how the characters have been planned and written from the start, you end up in season 2 just being sad and frustrated by how many mistakes the characters make, how stupid and illogical their actions seem when they do something or they respond to something. For example in episode 3 Shide is seen as an idiot, a noble idiot, his actions by pulling away and refusing to communicate and be open with Shuyi is seen as stupid and annoying because it caused a lot of pain, suffering, anguish for them that could be avoided. And yes it was uncontrollable situation to him that he tried to deal with but because there are other ways he could have dealt with this more maturely, smarter and better, there is this struggle to try and forgive and understand his perspective for why he decided to stay away from Shuyi for 5 years. It’s very sad and upsetting to know the reason is again a basic trope used in BLs and romance stories. But again I keep saying We Best Love isn’t trying to do something different it’s using the same tropes in this genre but writing it better. And I know it doesn’t seem like the choices made so far in the show is smart but there is understanding when you finally break down what the writers are trying to say with this story, why the writers are choosing this path. So again I come with another essay (my second one this week) focusing on Deyi and why it’s more complicated than just what we saw in episode 3 about the truth of Shide’s reason for why he chose to give into Shuyi’s father. Let’s break it down shall we?

The Theme of Family in WBL

The first thing about this essay is going to be focusing on the role of family, duty, obligation and responsibility in We Best Love. Family is something that has always been important in the show since we started of our couples first reason for talking to each other being that they both have lost a family member. The effects of Family in the show is very prominent and shown in season 2 of WBL. But also it’s always been hidden and hinted at how the environment that Shuyi and Shide grew up in (Nature vs Nurture) had made them become who they are in both seasons. So the reason why Shide is  seen as responsible, always in control and strong is because of him having to replace his father’s role when he was younger to want to be the one to protect and take care of his family. For Shide Family means everything to him it’s what makes him who he is, his focus is his duty and obligation to them to make sure they are living peacefully and safe. This started of just as his mother and him but later on as we see in season 1 he also then takes the responsibility (In America) over his stepfamily as well, we don’t know exactly why he’s the one who has to deal with a lot of struggles to protect the family again, but everything he does is to keep them safe. The reason why we see him in season 2 in his company is again to do with Family. And Shuyi is not different, Shuyi is also shadowed by the influence, control and hold of Family, he has a legacy he has to protect, but also someone he has to impress and become like his father who he was left with. Whilst Shide takes on the role of protecting the family’s safety and happiness by ensuring they’re taken care of and at ease, Shuyi also takes on this role to protect his position, his heritage and his father’s riches and company by being competitive and determined to be on top. So this has always been there since season 1, it explains a lot about how these two think and how they act. They’re both feeling pressured by the responsibility, duty and obligation they have to the role they play in their family to succeed.  And what season 2 does is it brings that to light, it shows the struggles that they have been going through but also it makes us see the sacrifices and choices they have to make because of this influence of Family and pressure of Duty.  The idea of having to both hold a weight of responsibility which clouds people from them, their wants and needs, and leads them to make constant sacrifices.

The Introduction to Shuyi’s Father

 So that’s important to notice because episode 3 brings in a revelation that Shuyi’s father is very important to the break down of our couple’s relationship and the reason for why they’ve both entered a state of misunderstanding and miscommunication.  It’s because he pressured and made Shide separate from Shuyi for 5 years that we are in this well of pain and anguish and toxicity. Shuyi’s father is not introduced to us immediately in season 1 but his shadow is there. The mentions of how Shuyi has an easy life, his wealth, having people keep an eye on him, having a very privileged easy life is hinted throughout the whole season until finally it’s after Shuyi and Shide fall for each other, the father shows up from the dark. He’s been keeping an eye on Shuyi and looking out for any hints or clues for obstacles to his goals, but also when we first see him he’s shrouded in dark lit room, he’s cold, has a powerful aura and demands to know more about the situation. We can already see from how he reacts that he’s angered by the situation. So we know he is going to be our villain in season 2, it’s not a surprise to realise that he’s always been the reason for why our couple is separated, it’s not a surprise to see that he’s an obstacle to them. But the thing about him is that as much as he is at first just a typical one dimensional homophobic BL parent, he’s more than that, in fact at the end of this analysis you will see he’s not even the villain the writers want us to focus on because he’s not a villain, he’s actually so more than that. Let me explain more.

A Lovers Game or A Long Lasting Commitment?

The first time we see him as an obstacle is when he calls Shide,  after Shide returned back to America to find Shuyi and know what’s going on. Shuyi had misunderstood and thought Shide was married with a kid and had left him. So Shuyi was not speaking to Shide and Shide after dealing with his own family issues, finally returned to Taiwan and came to face to face with the father instead of Shuyi. The father is determined immediately to stop their relationship, the first reason he gives is because he thinks it’s not long lasting, it’s fickle. He calls it a game. Of course our mindsets and Shide’s start to think he says this because he’s phobic, he’s belittling what they have, he’s refusing to take it seriously and he thinks it’s doomed to end. He doesn’t think the relationship is strong or right enough to help Shuyi, he sees it as a waste of time and an obstacle that needs to be stopped. He’s determined. This is quite contrary to what Shide and Shuyi believed about what they had, they believed especially Shide that they would have forever, because that’s how devoted he was to Shuyi which is what he tries to say.

Shide tells the father that he’s serious about what they have but also that Shuyi can leave him but  he won’t give up on Shuyi. Again this is a huge hint to one of the reasons for why Shide is lacking, or what was his first mistake, his doubt in Shuyi. In that sentence it’s him that is chasing, he believes it’s his strength and determination to make their relationship succeed because that’s how he’s always been since they were  together and  that’s what always got Shuyi’s attention. He doesn’t trust fully Shuyi’s commitment to him because he always believed for so long that it was one sided. In a way Shide views Shuyi’s feelings for him as weaker than his, it can change at anytime, it’s not as strong as his, hence the consequences of his actions is that he hurts Shuyi’s pride and feelings by  holding back the truth from him because he wasn’t confident in what they had.

A Volatile Fight For Survival and Peace 

But this is not just what the father uses as his reasons for why they shouldn’t be together. Again connected to phobic beliefs he focuses on Shuyi’s future in the company. Remember this is what Shuyi’s character outline is connected to, his duty and obligation to protect his position as the heir of his father’s company. So we find out that the father believes that the environment is harsh and inhospitable for Shuyi if he’s found out by the shareholders of the company that he’s with Shide. The father views Shide as an obstacle to Shuyi’s peace and comfort in the future. Shuyi has been told this before and also Shuyi knows he’s being watched by the shareholder, he’s under pressure by them and he mentions how much he is in this season.

Shuyi’s initial reaction is also always focused on control and protection of the position he has, because he was constantly told he had to be more stronger and better to be in a great position where he was safe, his father made him active, agile and more but that only always broke his spirits, broke his trust in others and broke his heart because he also constantly felt like he was never enough because he was           always losing. It’s actually his father’s constant push that makes Shuyi determined to always become first because he was always told he had to be ahead to get to where his father was. His father’s shadow always covered him and led him to always distrusting and misunderstanding people’s actions, he always felt babied, and without freedom to actually do what he wants until he fell for Shide. This is why he states to Shide I didn’t want to fall for a guy after he confesses to him. Not because he didn’t know what he was or he was in denial but because of the exact reasons that his father gave to Shide, because of the pressure of taking over and being watched by people and the shareholders, of being used as a weapon to take him down in the homophobic society he was in. Shuyi saw competition even in season 1, it was always his focus because his life has always been about that, Shide saw wanting attention and notice to ensure that he was never seen in his protector role as weak or vulnerable  to get what he wanted, to make a name for himself, and to be something more.

. It’s the reason for why Shuyi has to fire half of the company because it makes the Shareholders trust that he’s in control and isn’t weak. The father also mentions how it’s family that are also enemies to them, because they’re also looking for reasons to see Shuyi’s downfall. (hence why Shuyi is so distrustful of people because his own family also wants to see him fail).  This is when we start to see the intentions of the father’s actions, yes he has a phobic mindset but the focus is on Shuyi’s protection, the focus is on making sure Shuyi is safe. The father believes that the shareholders all are phobic hence showing the environment that he was raised in but also his mindset that has been framed by ignorance, tradition and society. The father doesn’t want Shuyi to struggle with the company because he won’t be able to manage the shareholders’ power if they do have something to say since they also affect the stocks and how the company runs. In a way his business is also in jeopardy in his head, he wants to have an heir to his company to secure the safety of it but Shide might be an obstacle to that because of how society and the environment they are in is.

What’s ironic is that Shide is remarkably similar to the father when he mentions his past in terms of struggling and trying to make it to be something. The father talks about how he started from scratch to make this company hence he knows the struggles, the chaos, the vicious environment surrounding them, which is why he constantly wanted Shuyi to be strong, to be seen as successful, to be seen as in control, because he knows what Shuyi will have to go through  with that role. He doesn’t want  Shuyi to struggle with the same stuff, it’s ironic because Shide is actually in the father’s position when he was younger, where he is struggling with responsibility, and work and making a company stay safe and being someone in society. That’s why it’s sad but also funny that both Shide and the father in their acts of always wanting to protect and keep Shuyi safe they actually just hurt him and they make him feel insecure and less than because of what they do to him. But again it’s understandable why they are so determined to protect what they love because its what they love, Shuyi is precious to them both, and they don’t mean to make him feel the way they do, to hurt him, or to push him away. The father is not meant to be seen as the villain of the show; it’s society that is the villain of WBL, how society acts, how they pressure people to think, how they control our ways we view ourselves and our freedom, that’s why the father is shown slowly to be just jokey, funny and  sweet in his own way to Shuyi, he’s not cold he’s warm despite being such a suffocating shadow over Shuyi. So that’s a very important thing to notice about the show with what they want to show with the father. It’s society that’s making him act the way he’s acting.

The Distance Of Two Different Worlds Apart

The father also mentions another reason for why he thinks Shide and Shuyi are unfit. He claims they are from different worlds. This is so eye opening because again Shide has the same ideas in his head about the struggles that they face (it causes his insecurity of why Shuyi’s feelings may be weaker). Being from different worlds is why Shide is determined to be number one. When Shuyi’s father mentions that they are from different worlds it puts a perspective again on understanding why Shide feels insecure about what he is to Shuyi but also why he’s so determined to by himself make sure that what they have is safe and okay. It’s why he’s so focused on protection. Because there is a slight insecurity about what he lacks in terms of economic status, reputation in general, and position. He’s always been trying so hard to make it and that’s another thing he focuses on for the 5 years they are separated; to keep trying to make it to become someone in Shuyi’s world. In order to be with Shuyi he has to ensure that he can be in a place of protection, safety, security and ease which he feels he can’t provide by just being himself.  It’s so important because it’s this insecurity plus other things that will be mentioned later that makes him give into the father, seek the father’s approval, and proceed to sacrifice what he wants, for Shuyi’s happiness. He always hoped that even after 5 years even if there has been a distance he’d be able to be stronger to get back to Shuyi. Because he was never going to give up.

The Problem With Insecurity, Doubt, and Fear

1. Insecure about their relationship;

As mentioned Shide is insecure about what he is to Shuyi, he has been in an 8 year unrequited love for Shuyi and he still struggled to believe and trust that what they had was strong enough to withstand anything.

This is sorted in his head because he always believes that his determination will win over Shuyi. As long as he can fight for Shuyi and as long as he doesn’t fail chasing after Shuyi he will be successful in ensuring he makes Shuyi want him. This is why he automatically thinks in season 2 the reason why Shuyi is angered is because he disappeared for 5 years, he failed at his determination to make sure Shuyi’s attention was always on him, because he thought it could be stolen if he was weak. The father tells Shide that if Shuyi has a girlfriend after 5 years then he needs to give up. As long as he doesn’t have someone by that 5 years then there’s hope. But also if he does have someone and is happy then Shide who is self-sacrificial will be willing to sacrifice his own happiness for Shuyi’s happiness. Even in season 1, he’s always been self-sacrificial because he didn’t even want to win over Shuyi whenever he had a chance to, he was only trying to get a friend, instead of doing what he wants and trying to elevate their relationship. He always chose whatever Shuyi wanted over himself as we saw in season 1 when the truth came out in the hospital and Shuyi said he didn’t want to fall for a guy. Even the reason for why he chooses to give into the father’s demands even though he knows it’s a trap and has no chance of escaping, is because of Shuyi. He says it’s to protect how Shuyi views his father, and their relationship (and that hurts because he understands the value of the relationship between father and sons because he lost his father, so he wouldn’t want to put Shuyi in that position when he knows how it affected him)

2. Insecure about himself

Shide although he tries to have a mask of being in control and being strong all the time. Although his goal is to always ensure he’s number one to everyone and Shuyi, there are parts of him that does not see that in himself. It is because he does not think he can be loved/helpful by just being himself, being vulnerable or being weak that he takes on everything and works hard constantly to make sure he is ahead always. Especially for Shuyi in Season 1, the reason why he thought Shuyi wanted him was because he was number one and he got his attention by always defeating him.

This is treated in his head by becoming something or someone just the like the father requested so they end up in  the same status. Because he’s determined to be someone to his family and protect them he takes on the responsibility of taking care of the company but he also does so because the father gave him an ultimatum to get a career and be someone to be with Shuyi.

3. Insecure about society and how they are treated

Shuyi being the heir of his father’s company also makes Shide become insecure about what to do to protect them. Again Shide wants to be viewed as a helpful addition not a burden, someone who protects not destroys, he didn’t want to be the reason why Shuyi ends up losing the relationship with his father, and his position as the heir.

 This in his head is removed by staying away for 5 years to ensure that Shuyi  has enough time to focus and get the company, become CEO and defeat the shareholders. Once Shuyi passes the test of the shareholders and takes over, they wouldn’t be as big of a threat. This is what both Shide and the father believe.

Society: Mindsets, Environments, and Prejudice

The father’s focus on wanting children is also stated when he later goes to the bar with Shide. Again him being phobic is problematic but it makes sense that he is, he’s ignorant and again warped by the ideas in the environment he’s in. His phobia isn’t from nature it’s caused by nurture, it’s caused by what he’s been shown, told, since he was young. His automatic mindset for success and stability is for the typical path that society wants ‘men’ to follow in his time to become; to be masculine and strong, ( hence why he forced Shuyi to do a lot of athletic activities which ended up breaking and hurting him in different ways),  to make a legacy happen, to have a wife and kids, it’s all old-fashioned ideas because he is old-fashioned because he wasn’t taught better. Again he’s not the actual villain of the show. Society is.

 The cheating misunderstanding is what causes the catalyst that makes the dad try to break them up. He tried to listen and accept Shuyi’s threats of leaving but then when Shuyi showed back up after America he was furious. Because he already had an idea formed in his head about how fickle their relationship would be  because of phobia, and now it was being shown to him because the way Shide is perceived to cheat is to choose the right path that he wanted for Shuyi. (a wife and kid).  Not only did Shide cheat but Shuyi cried about like being ghosted for 6 months, because Shide wasn’t texting. The most important thing to discover about the father and understand his character outline is that although his flaw is having closeminded ideas based on society and environment, his actual focus is protection of Shuyi’s happiness, the reason he really wanted them to separate, the reason why he formed that trap was because he thought Shide was not serious and that Shide was harmful for Shuyi because of the cheating scandal, because he made Shuyi cry so much, because he hurt Shuyi, because he essentially was mocking Shuyi’s devotion and heart by cheating in America. It’s also about the  pride of Shuyi being protected. Again just like Shide the father’s prime goal is protection of Shuyi.

So now knowing Shide’s mindset and why he did what he did, we can revisit the couch scene in episode 2 and discuss more about how the show shows him dealing with the consequences of his actions.

The Consequences of Actions and Mistakes

Ahh the couch scene, I’ve been thinking about it. I know people want me to break down why it was wrong they had the romantic music playing when they slept together, what message it showed, I know people want me to talk about how uncomfortable we all felt in that scene (you were meant to feel that way), I know people want to talk about the trigger warnings in that scene but there are so many other comments about why non consent/ dubious consent is an issue that should be taken seriously when being shown in BL. You can find them in the tags.

I’m going to focus on the writing of the show and analyse why the scene happened the way it did. This is not me defending non consent, this is just me laying out what the writers wanted to achieve with the scene. You weren’t meant to find it healthy, you weren’t meant to want a relationship like that, you weren���t meant to praise the actions of both characters, because Shide and Shuyi are problematic as of this time because of the situation they are in. So from this show we can finally can say that Shide and Shuyi did sleep together, how do we feel about that, probably not great right? I feel like, I didn’t think they would sleep together because I was holding out for hope that Shuyi would punch Shide. So yeh it was an interesting thing to see not fully discussed or explained in the new episode. However these two’s relationship are in the stage of miscommunication and misunderstandings (which can lead to toxicity and escalations)  mixed with the longing, pining and passionate love they’ve both been trying to hold back for each other for 5 years. The theme for these two has always been about control as from my previous analysis and the couch scene no matter how morally wrong or right it was, was always going to happen because we finally see both of them  break down and lose that control they’ve been trying to have on each other, and of course before that happens it’s done with a fight, with breakdowns, with confusions, with questions.  

The loss of control of the heart

Shuyi loses control over his heart because he can see Shide in his most broken state. Remember this isn’t like Shide.  Shide is normally calm, in control, always trying to salvage the situation, Shide has never cried in front of Shuyi apart from their first confession and even after all that he’s always come out looking better and in control of everything because it’s like him to do so.Shuyi was frightened; one because of trying hard to keep himself from giving into his wants and longing for Shide that he’s been trying so hard to not lose to, he was frightened because Shide was being aggressive and he wasn’t sure if he was messing around with him or not, he was also frightened lastly for Shide. Because Shide was screaming like someone who was drowning on the inside, someone close to just giving up on everything, someone who was so broken and desperate to have something to hold on. Shuyi was frightened for Shide because he realised that there was something more to what happened, he also realised that Shide was not willing to let him know, he saw Shide grapple with confusion and wanting to say it, and he couldn’t understand but he was worried and understood that Shide wasn’t happy, wasn’t a victor in their breakup like he thought. Shuyi also recognised Shide’s pain because it paralleled his at the beginning of the episode when he cried over the broken phone and his heart break. Shide was also heart broken like he was, Shide was also struggling like he was, Shide was also lost like he was. That’s why even though he tried so hard to fight it, his walls fell and he let him self be with Shide that night. That’s the first part of this equation for why Shuyi let himself sleep with Shide although he was drunk, (dubious consent,).

The loss of control of the mind

If Shuyi was fighting losing control over his heart, Shide was losing control of his mind. As much as it pains me to say, Shide wasn’t in the right state of mind, this was a Shide who was being the worst version of himself because he was exploding, he was losing control, he was confused, he was also very angry at the mess he and Shuyi were in, he was lost because all his efforts, (which is pointing to the title of episode 3; Self Righteous Efforts Are Wasted).  His energy, his work, his heart was wasted because of situations he couldn’t control. Shide was so affected because he realised just like Shuyi also realised seeing him drunk, that what he did to Shuyi was so much more worse than he thought, he was doing everything he could to protect Shuyi, to prove himself to Shuyi’s father, to let them have a happy forever later on, he was doing all he could to stay with the one thing that was his ultimate priority and happiness, he was doing everything he could to protect that and he found it so unfair that he couldn’t even let Shuyi know about that, he probably also hated life its self, because there was so much he had to struggle with those 5 years without Shuyi that he couldn’t control.

He couldn’t control the situation in America in his head (why he didn’t text Shuyi is his own fault but it’s a flaw of Shide to always hold back his truth so he’s suffering consequence of his actions), he couldn’t control in his head Shuyi’s father’s requests because Shuyi’s future was more important, Shuyi’s relationship with his father was more important, Shuyi’s peace and calm was more important (what he failed to see was that he was also Shuyi’s priority, happiness, future, peace and calm so again because he had self-doubt about how important he was to Shuyi he put himself in a situation where again he held back the truth which again is his flaw). Basically Shide was exhausted, and hurt because to him it was so unfair it was like all his efforts for the past 13 years when he finally got hope with Shuyi fell down the drain, because Shuyi no longer saw him as someone even worth being real to. Like Shuyi really was going to go so far in his heartbreak and hurt to also break Shide even more, Shuyi must have hated him so much to want to use him and toss him after. Shuyi’s care for him had ended. And all Shide could do was blame him self, wrap himself up in self-hate, self-doubt, insecurity and anguish as he drank with Shouyi.

Even when drunk he tried to be in control he wanted to go home, that’s what he told Shouyi, he was going to choose to keep up the façade with Shuyi and let Shuyi have his revenge or whatever with him but he couldn’t because he was no longer able to hold back because of the influence of alcohol. That’s what alcohol does, it disinhibited all his inhibitions, It made him explode with everything he was feeling, pain, suffering, longing, anger, tiredness and defeat. He was split into two people. One the Shide that was angry and upset at how Shuyi wanted to treat him, at how much everything he’d done was for nothing, but two, the Shide that had just been biding his time to be with Shuyi since 5 years, the Shide that ever since they reunited had just wanted to hold and go back to how they used to be with Shuyi hence the kissing, hence the skinship, hence the breakdowns and tests and everything that happened. That Shide was not meant to be liked, that Shide was the most vulnerable form of Shide that he was trying to hide so much.

The Problem With Gao Shide

Shide’s actions is not right but it is understandable (I mean he’s dumb and stupid for always reverting to holding back the truth and himself, and emotions from people it’s his downfall, but it’s always been his character, it’s loyal to how his character was written).  He’s always been invasive, always been secretive, always shoulders all the burden on himself so of course he does the noble idiocy trope with Shuyi’s father, of course he doesn’t tell Shuyi when he’s suffering in America, of course he doesn’t; for Shide his problems are his problems and he doesn’t want to be burden to people, he always wants to be seen as number one, now this can be anything, seen as a success to people ( wanted by people), proper and responsible for others (so they feel safe and protected with him) to be seen as strong and happy (so the people he cares about feel happy and loved). Because he lost someone that was like that to him (his father) and so he felt like he had to replace his role since a young age, he had to be that person for his mother, he had to fill up that space and do things right, and make sure he’s not a burden, he’s not weak, he doesn’t fail. Because of this he never wants to show when he’s struggling, to anyone,  even Shuyi.

It’s a flaw that he formed because it was the only way for him to stand up and take the role that kept the people he loved safe in his head. But the thing with character flaws is that they have to go through a development, so Shide has to suffer the consequences of his flaws, hence why season 2 is the way it is because it’s unveiling how he is and what he does to himself constantly, how he hurts himself because of his flaw and how he also hurts others. Again Shide and Shuyi are flawed characters since season 1, but season 2 is when we finally see them mature and have to grow from all of that just like people have to also grow and learn about their flaws and compromise when they get in a relationship. Remember the goal is pure covenant love at the end (they don’t have that yet) which is at the end of it all unconditional love. These two need to be able to learn and work through both flaws and communicate and show each other the truth, it’s only when we finally let ourselves be vulnerable with the one we love, that’s when you get that healthy, relationship, you get that healing, you get that pure love. So give them time; the truth is slowly being unveiled, this couch scene, episode 2, is the worst versions of both Shuyi and Shide. Shuyi because he’s vengeful and cruel and obsessed with wanting control and Shide because he’s Shide and he finally enters a state where he can’t do that no more, alcohol had to be the thing to finally make him stop hiding and doing everything on his own. That’s why the couch scene happened, you can argue they shouldn’t have slept together (I agree with this) we could have had the punch, we could had a different outcome or a discussion shown about why it was wrong, or even add  a trigger warning to the episode. I agree but it’s not going sway me from seeing how good season 2 is with story telling and character development, and character writing. Say what you want to say about the show but this writer hasn’t changed anything about her characters. About her aims of the show, about these twos journey since season 1. She’s always left these clues, she’s always shown what these characters are like, she’s never hid their flaws and it’s not surprising that Shide does all the things he does that are harmful to himself and Shuyi but that’s the part of learning and seeing their relationship finally tackle these issues and get to the healthy place they will end up at. And I still commend the show.  

[theplanetprince]

Amity Park Anomalies || CH.1

Fic: AO3 | FFN

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Characters/Relationships: Wesley Weston, Dash Baxter, Sidney Poindexter

Fic Summary:  Local paranormal Skeptic Wesley Weston aka Atlasdunked and paranormal enthusiast Dash Baxter aka Hisdudefriday discuss and explore the issues plaguing their town. Amity Park is a hotbed for supernatural activity, and who’s to say that’s all there is? We follow two amateur investigators trying to uncover the monsters under your bed, and the things that go bump in the night. They answer the questions you’re too afraid to ask.

Chapter Summary: Wes and Dash start the first episode of their podcast with a bang with the mysterious circumstances involving Sidney Poindexter and his doomed class.  Content warnings: Chemical poisoning, mentions of cancer, mentions of animal harm, mentions of mass murder. Mild Language. Ratbag Teens being Ratbags. 

“You don’t know Amity Park unless you know tragedy. And for tonight’s unfortunate and unforgettable soul, he was well acquainted. Every Casper High Freshman knows about the haunted locker and its occupant Sidney Hershel Poindexter. Welcome to the first installment of… of…?” Dash covered his microphone, glancing over to his cohost. The skinny ginger was spinning a basketball on his middle finger, looking unimpressed. 

 The quarterback whispered-yelled, “What name did we decide on?” 

 The fellow jock gave a taciturn smirk. The basketball player mouthed, ‘Ghostbusters.’

 Unamused, Dash Baxter pouted. He should have known that the ginger would be unhelpful. Too late to recast now; Kwan was already nice enough to demo the equipment. He didn’t want to bother him anymore. Apparently, it was Scrabble night. Wes wasn’t a bad candidate by any means, a little full of himself, sure. Wes needed a hobby. In Dash’s professional opinion— Wes was… dull. The only reason why Wes was available was that he literally had no life outside of the basketball court. From playing together, Dash knew Wes played the game somewhat selfishly, not passing and risking fouls to make impossible shots. They had gotten into spirited debates on away games if Amity Park really was cursed. Dash thought they were engaging conversations, sure. When the quarterback approached Wes about this project— he had surprised Dash by agreeing to it. Though quickly, he said he was mostly in it to prove definitively that ghosts were not real. So really, this was all just a big bet to see which one of them would cave first and admit who was right. 

 Hurriedly, Dash uncovered his mike, “Welcome to the first installment of Amity Park Anomalies!” 

 The readout peaked and blew out in sync with the quarterback’s voice crack. 

 The shooting-guard leaned into the microphone before cooly stating, “Tentative title.” 

He then pressed a button on the sound effect board, prompting canned studio audience laughter to exit the speakers.

 Shake it off, Baxter, shake it off.

He dragged a folder across the desk, introducing, “Uh, hi. My username is His-dude-Friday. For simplicity’s sake, you can just call me Friday, I guess.” 

 His cohost snorted, “Oh yeah, anonymity. Like all six people listening in aren’t gonna know who we are.” 

 Finally fed up with his attitude— Dash smacked the back of his cohost’s head. The sound of the basketball hitting the floor and rolling away also appeared on the audio readout. 

 “Alright! Jeez! Hey, my username is Atlas-dunked, but all you—” The ginger waggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Lovely, lovely, people out there in cyberspace can call me Wes.” 

 Wes poked another button on the soundboard, eliciting a sound effect of swooning girls. 

 “I apologize for him,” Dash mumbled. He opened one of his school folders containing some of the black and white low-toner print-outs of articles he grabbed from the library. Doing some last-minute organizing of his research material, the quarterback posed a question, “So Wes, what do you know about Casper High alumnus?” 

 “For those of you at home, I’m putting my hand on my chin.” 

 “Rather smugly, I might add,” The football player remarked. 

 After a pause of the basketball player looking towards the ceiling with a mock-pensive expression, Wes chuckled, “You got me; I don’t know my Casper High lore as well as someone on the student council. Enlighten me.” 

 Wes took off his headphones, and they clattered against Dash’s desk. He tracked down the dusty ball that wedged itself under Dash’s bed. 

 Dash fanned out his papers and selected his first one, “Some accolades under our high school’s banner include: Crazy Carl of Crazy Carl’s Used Car Lot? Graduating class of eighty-seven.” 

 “Wow—  Fascinating .” 

 Slightly irritated, Dash picked up the microphone stand. Reaching towards Wes for his comment, he asked, “Say again? I don’t think the mike got it.” 

 “I said that’s so interesting. I am practically moist.” Wes sneered, kicking his ball free. 

 Baxter chuckled, albeit still disgusted, “Dude— C’mon, take this seriously.” 

 “Then tell me something serious!” Wes exclaimed, glaring at one of the posters on the wall— it was some german horror movie Wes had never seen before. He had no desire to either. The basketball player should have known Dash had a pretentious side. Wes guffawed, “I know we aren’t talking about Crazy Carl actually going crazy.” 

 “It’s called building suspense!” 

 Wes blinked at the soulless monster on the poster staring down at him. The monster was very clearly a man in terrible make-up. You could see where the brush missed parts of the actor’s face. Parts of the pale make-up were coming off with the sweat and studio lights—fake plastic teeth jutting out of the actor’s mouth. The basketball player was trying to assert dominance over a poster in a staring contest no one was having. Why couldn’t Dash be a  normal red-blooded American male and have busty ladies adorning his walls instead? No, Dash had to believe in the absurd like vampires, ghouls, and ghosts— 

 The poster told Wes everything he needed to know about Dash Baxter. Dash could only handle scary if he could turn it off. If the fear was completely artificial. If the fear was something he could justify with reality. Dash has never been truly scared in his life. The quarterback had never been face to face with something that genuinely made him ponder his little time left on this rock of a planet. Wes was going to change that. Wes was certain Dash didn’t actually fear the paranormal because Dash, deep down, knew that it was all fake. In the meantime, Wes was going to annoy the shit of him too. Really that was just a signing bonus.

Wes spun his ball in his hand, idly— before sauntering back to the desk with a grin on his face, putting his headphones back on. The headband cracked with Wes’ exaggerated and deliberate movements. Wes leaned and curled around the basketball resting on his lap, “Continue, Dashell.” 

 “Thank you.” The quarterback said. He took a moment to adjust his sitting position, and he shook out the muscles in his arms before getting back into his flow. Dash tapped the next passage, “Mr Burkowitz of the Amity Park Video rental, he graduated in the late seventies, went into the navy…” 

 “Oh apparently, Author Stephen H.G Phillips graduated class of seventy-seven…” Dash began, hopefully. He then folded over the articles he stapled together, starting at the top of the next page, “before he was found dead in his manor outside of town in his late twenties.”

 “Ouch.” Wes was half tempted to hit another sound effect on the board, but Baxter shot him a disapproving glance. 

 “Let’s see…” Dash inched his finger along the page, squinting between the blobs of letters, “Famed petty crook, Jeremy Tris— Trisdek— It’s something greek. Jeremy Trisdeka is all I’m gettin’. He dropped out in nineteen-eighty-three before getting hit by a train on the run from the cops after he shot his foster father in cold blood. He would have been nineteen at the time of death, but reportedly his foster parents tried putting him through high school despite him only having a sixth-grade education.” 

 Okay, slightly less boring. Wes could agree on that. The shooting-guard nodded, stifling a laugh, “I heard something about that guy; he thought he was playing cowboy against ol’ Johnny law… well until he was pancaked. He walked the line until he could walk no more. He fought the law, and the locomotion won. He—” 

 “Are you done?” 

 “One more?” 

 With a sigh, Baxter acquiesced, “Fine. Go ahead.” 

 Wes snatched the microphone off the table before the quarterback could change his mind. He snapped his fingers before butchering a well-known gospel tune, “JERAMAIAH WAS A BIKER— HE WAS A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD A SINGLE WORD HE SAID BECAUSE HE GOT FLATTENED BY THE A-LINE.” 

 “That was Wes,” Dash threw off his headphones and steepled his hands in front of his nose, “Proving that he doesn’t have a face for television or a voice for radio.”  

 “Hey, at least my vocal cords are done growing, okay?” Weston pushed Dash’s shoulder, “Lest ye cast the first stone who is without judgment.” 

 “Just so we’re clear. We’ve barely cracked the lid on the story I wanted to cover and so far—” Dash began to count the offenses on his fingers, “You have mocked two dead people, butchered a beloved song, got up and wandered away— I’ll add misquoting the bible to make fun of me to the list.” 

 “That isn’t the bible, you ignoramus.” He sat up and raised a brow.

 “... I will fact check you live, and I don’t want it to come down to that, Wes.” Dash readjusted the volume on his headset and put them on again. 

 While gesturing, Wes knocked his knuckles against Dash’s computer monitor, “And what are the dead guys gonna do to me—? They’re dead! I’m alive. I’d say I already have a head start.” 

 “Actually, that gives me an excellent segue.” Dash pointed to his computer, a knowing smile inching across his cheek, “On your side of the desk, I already loaded up the Casper High library register. I want you to tell me if you notice anything weird about the page.” 

 “I can tell you about four things that’s weird about your computer. Firstly, what’s with the carebear stickers?” 

 “Just read the screen!” Dash stole the basketball from Wes’s lap and bounced it against his cohost’s forehead. 

 “Alright! Keep your shirt on— jeez!” Wes rubbed his face bitterly as he analyzed the webpage for anything unusual. Really it was poorly designed. Comic sans everywhere it didn’t need to be. Big grey windows with clashing saturated school colors. It’s a graphic designer’s nightmare. Weston murmured this observation into the recording device. It was open specifically on the reference section, the search was narrowed on Casper High yearbooks. Begrudgingly humoring the charade, Weston narrated his findings as he scrolled, “...Casper High nineteen-sixty-four, Casper High nineteen-sixty-three, Casper High nineteen-sixty-two—” 

 “You wanna read that back to me one more time?” Dash tapped the monitor. 

 Wes glowered at the request before fixing his gaze back on the computer. He went down the list again. The covers weren’t anything particularly special for the era. They were undoubtedly more well thought out and purposeful than the Casper High website. They were hardback books bound with a faux leather material embroidered with the Casper High colors, purple and red. The crow logo was either stitched in the center or lower right corner. The quality has certainly gone downhill with the budget. Noticeably the stitching on the books and the binding was more noticeable after nineteen-sixty— 

 “There’s a gap here,” Wes finally said, turning to Dash.

 The knowledgeable look the quarterback had plastered on his face deepened with his lack of response. With a flick of his fingers, Dash rolled his wrist, signaling for Wes to continue. 

 An odd sensation pooled at the bottom of his chest. It pulled at his lungs. However, he couldn’t identify the source. Slowly Wes articulated, “Th-there is no yearbook for nineteen-sixty-two.” 

 “Mhmm.” Dash hummed and leaned to the microphone with a sing-songy tone, “ Do you wanna know why? ” 

 “It’s obviously some kind of clerical error,” Wes dismissed; The ache in his lungs did not abate. The shooting guard refreshed the page, “there’s nothing otherworldly about someone checking out an old yearbook.” 

 “See, that’s what I thought at first, but I checked it out in person, and there was a huge supply of donated yearbooks— like hundreds— from the three years behind nineteen-sixty-two.” Dash rolled across his floor, being careful of the tether to his computer. He retrieved his backpack and dropped a stack of dusty tomes onto his desk, “Practically bursting out of the storage boxes. So you have hundreds of copies of Casper High years nineteen-fifty-nine to nineteen-sixty-one. Like there’s a sarcastic amount of documentation about these three years, but nothing about sixty-two.” Dash concluded with complete confidence, “It doesn’t exist.” 

“It doesn’t exist?” Wes replied incredulously. Scanning the covers of each book, fifty-nine through to sixty-one, sixty-three, seventy-seven, then finally eighty-three. Raising a brow, he squinted at his acquaintance. The expression on his face read as someone trying to find the kindest way to call someone a moron. Obviously, the sixty-two yearbook had to exist. That was indisputable. 

 Sensing Wes’ reservations, the king jock took a thin book from the center of the pile. Dash began to thumb through it, “Maybe at one point it did exist.” The plastic-coated pages gave a satisfying crack as they were peeled apart, “But according to the library, it doesn’t. According to the trophy case, according to the school records— the year nineteen-sixty-two  did not happen .” 

 Dash slid over the thin laminated paper-back. This book in question was the yearbook for nineteen-sixty-three. It was significantly gutted compared to the years prior. It matched the website image and description. It was a cheap flimsy thing stapled together— much like Dash’s instant print notes. It had a checker and jack pattern with dots scattered on the cover. It was the cheapest one in the bunch. There wasn’t much in terms of padding, just pictures noticeably for maybe seventy or so students for a single freshman class, no sophomores, no juniors, no seniors. There was nothing about the clubs or extracurriculars. It was comparable to something a rural elementary school would produce. The quarterback was positively buzzing, “The messed up part about this, comparing sixty-three to sixty-one. None of these freshmen are the same. We don’t know where these kids went. Arguably they’d still be around three years later, right? They would’ve been seniors—” Dash was impassioned about this oddity, “but they’re not there!”

 Wes opened the sixty-one yearbook and pinched his fingers around a large section of the pages to find the freshman pictures. None of them matched. At first glance, it appeared what Dash was proposing was true. That something happened to the class of sixty-two. However, Wes wasn’t about to make any declaration like that any time soon. He’d sooner eat his own sneakers before admitting Dash Baxter was right about anything.

 “The school probably closed down or something.” Wes shut the book, “There were riots around that time. Vietnam? Ring any bells? They probably didn’t have enough staff to distribute around the district.” 

 “Face it,” Wes couldn’t help but chuckle at how riled up the quarterback was, “For every one fantastical option, there’s thousands of perfectly reasonable mundane explanations.”

 Furrowing his brow, Dash emphasized his point, “For one year? They would close down the school for one year?” 

 Prying up his sweatband, Wes stole a look at his watch, he yawned, “I imagine you’re about to tell me why?” 

 Mistaking Wes’ impatience as genuine interest, Dash clapped his hands together, rubbing them in anticipation, “I’m glad you asked!” 

 “Oh god, here we go.” 

 Shoving Wes’ chair back, Dash crossed his torso over the desk, the fabric of his shirt rubbing against the microphone. He switched tabs on the window from the school’s library to the public library. Dash zoomed in on digitized snippets from the local newspaper, The Amity Park Herald. Date: December fourth, nineteen-sixty-one. The headline?

  Flirting With Disaster— Household Cleaners Deadly as Mustard Gas!

 “So, the theory you’re pushing is that there was a custodial mishap of epic proportions.” Wes snickered, wiggling his fingers, “Spooky.” 

 Sitting back in his chair, the plastic wheels creaking under the weight, Dash picked up his pencil and wedged it between his headset and ear. He jutted his jaw towards the monitor, “Keep reading.”

 There was something about the way Dash’s eyes lit up. He was looking past Wes as if he was using Wes as a vessel to experience this second-hand eureka. Baxter’s vindication only steeled in the face of Weston’s mockery. 

  Local housewife Shirley Poindexter, found face down in her sparkling clean bathroom by her son. Black curly hair matted to her face, she had sustained a head injury upon losing consciousness in her unventilated water closet. She split her forehead open, blood trailing down the tile and down the bathtub wall and circling the drain, still covered in her cleaning solution. A homemade concoction of vinegar and bleach. Her glasses were found in her closed fist, implying that she had a few moments of lucidity before slipping into a permanent sleep. 

  “I just thought that she had fainted,” Her son’s statement reads, “I wake her up before I go to school every morning; she looked like she was… asleep. She seemed at peace.” 

  Shirley Poindexter was known as a delight to her neighbors and the winner of the city-wide cherry pie-making contest. Her birthday was a week away. She would have been thirty-nine. Her funeral and wake will be open casket due to the intact state the body was found in. 

 “... the autopsy revealed that Poindexter was carrying a tumor in her frontal lobe; therefore, she may not have been thinking logically when she combined the two cleaners.” Wes scrolled to read more, but the page cut off and went into an advert for the Amity Park bowling alley, then known as the Foxtrot.  

 “What does this have to do with anything?” Wes getting the idea that Dash wanted him to read fucked up shit on live air for jollies, “It just sounds like a classic case of ‘let’s give you heroin for your cough.’ Like sure, it’s screwed up— whatever, but—” 

 “But Shirley was Sidney’s mom!” While Wes was captivated by the article, Dash had opened the sixty-one yearbook in the juniors’ section. He circled the subject in red ink. A monochrome photo of a rather unfortunate-looking boy. Overbite, with two buck teeth that stuck out from under his top lip, greasy hair that fell limply above his ears, cystic acne scars, and blemishes. Coke-bottle glasses tapped up the center. The name beside the photo: Sidney H. Poindexter. 

 Wes did not want to give the impression that he was rattled by what he read, “What is your obsession with this kid, dude?” 

 “He was rumored to be the most bullied kid in Casper High history.” Dash pointed to the picture before flipping into the photos of the activities and clubs. Sidney could be seen in the background either being hassled or sitting by himself with a notebook, “There’s still graffiti in the bathrooms dedicated to mocking him, decades later. There were rumors of his family being connected to the communist party— these kids were trying to ruin his life and get him arrested or worse!” 

 Talk about bad luck. The guy’s mom died, and everyone still gave him a hard time? Still clinging to the idea that this was all some sort of misunderstanding, Weston snorted, “Spend a lot of time in the bathrooms, do you?” 

 “Ha. Ha. You’re hilarious.” Dash closed the book and climbed across the desk again. His chest nearly draping on top of Wes’ head. Switching the tabs, he found another article reporting on the rise of poisoned cats and other animals after Shirley’s death. 

 As if to corroborate the two pieces of information, Dash pulled up an image file on his computer from a scan he pulled from the sixty-one yearbook. Sidney was cleaning up after a chemistry experiment with bleach and an unmarked bottle, “It was noted that Sidney’s strongest subject was science, and he was allergic to cats.” 

 Wes blinked, dumbfounded by how large of a leap Dash was making, “Oh no,  I’m allergic to cats!” 

 “You can’t deny that this is sort of an…” The king jock picked his nail scavenging for the right word, “Angle.” 

 “Yeah,” Wes nodded his head, “its angle that occurs when a football player with too much time on his hands finds a bunch of events that barely have a connecting thread. What are you suggesting? This guy… killed his entire class in some sort of mass chemical poisoning? And no one found the bodies— and no one reported it?” 

 Dash crossed his leg at the thigh, “I’m not suggesting anything— but Sidney is the only one of the class of nineteen-sixty-two with a death certificate. Allegedly he was found stuffed in a storage locker, having died of asphyxiation.” 

 “That’s an awfully big word for you.” Picking his teeth, Wes remarked under his breath.

 There was a moment of silence as both boys turned their heads, hearing a freight train in the distance. Its horn blared in a constant unending shape until it passed over them. 

 The quarterback cocked his head towards his acquaintance, “Could you at least give me the satisfaction of telling me that it’s weird that both mother and son died of suffocation?” 

 Coiling the cord around his finger, Weston inched the microphone over to his side, “I’ll say this. You know how to tell one hell of a ghost story. But that’s all.” Wes made sure he wouldn’t be misheard, “a story.” 

 In the dim light of Dash’s red lava lamp and pale blue tinged computer screen, Wes wanted to make sure his mischievous grin was woven into his words. Dash stared down at him, realizing that this was a lost cause. 

 The doorbell rang— 

 Well, not wholly lost. Takeout, when you didn’t pay for it, was always delicious. 

 Dash removed his headphones again, “Did you get the extra eggrolls and gyoza like I asked?” 

 Wes yawned once more, this time for real, “Yeah, man!” He inched forward to the edge of his seat, “God, we’ve been sitting here for forever, my ass is numb— Sweet and sour pork here I come! If you even touch that crab rangoon, though I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do to you.” 

 Realizing they were still, in fact, recording— Dash pressed one ear to his headset and snatched back the mike, “Uh, thank you all for joining us tonight for Amity Park Anomalies. This has been His-dude-Friday and—” 

 Wes pushed Dash away, scooting over to take his place, “Atlas-dunked!” 

 Quickly Weston smashed the applause button, “Also, this is totally not a sponsor, but the Duck Factory?” the second jock gave a kiss into the microphone, “To die for. A thousand chef kisses— tell your friends. Ghosts aren’t real, deuces!” 

 Shaking his head, Dash shoulder-checked Wes away from the recording station. He rolled up to the desk and punched the stop. The audio then appeared on to his desktop. The live viewer count only seemed to be three people. More accurately, two once Dash remembered to factor out his computer tuned into the audio stream. Not a bad night at all. 

[marshmallowprotection]

Birthday Title Screen

Saeran’s title screen underneath the cut alongside my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Under the cut simply because if you don’t want to see it, you can go and wait until it’s officially released by Cheritz in your time zone. Anyways, we know why we’re here.

It’s that time again and boy, aren’t we happy to be able to talk about it? Now, this title was advertised as Unknown so I expected Unknown. I didn’t expect my boy Suit Saeran to be on the title. The game tends to imply that Unknown is the just Suit Saeran, and vice versa, but I don’t agree with that notion but I’ve explained that one many times before but the game never confirms outright one way or the other so, you know how that goes. 

I’ll spare you that, I’ve got plenty of posts talking about that opinion for you to find if you want, lol. 

Either way, this is the first time that Suit Saeran’s gotten the pointed limelight like this. He’s usually meant to surprise the player because they may not see him in their minds as their trying to uncover the mystery and everything. But, we’ve got to say, Cheritz has thrown all spoiler fears out of the window. I mean, they just plastered Seven’s true name on a boat. 

I laughed about that but I digress, you’re here for the photo and you want to see me shriek like a banshee.

So, yeah, let’s just our obligatory scream out of the way presently. When I saw this one, I could think was: Oh my God, it’s BE2. The only reason my brain just decided BE2 was because of the framing of all the presents. In that ending, he gives you gifts, he gives you food, but “you’re not good enough to open them or touch them, toy.” He’ll give you all kinds of things but you know, you get what he wants when he decides. 

And crumbs, if you’re lucky on a good day, you know? 

That being said, it doesn’t have to be framed as BE2, but the presents and gifts just lead me to believe that this is the theme or the idea that it’s taking from to show the audience because what else am I going to be thinking when you’ve gone and thrust that idea into my face like that? Mmm, and I’ve been talking about that ending a lot lately. 

Here’s that post if you want to read more about BE2. It’s a tragic ending that is bad for both Saeran and MC. He’s trying to get you back like Humpty Dumpty but he can’t put you back together again. He realized too little, too late, that he liked you the way that Ray did, that he genuinely liked you for you. He can’t say that aloud, so he... tries cruel ways to bring you back, but it will never work and he’s doomed to despair. 

No hope for Suit Saeran if the kindness heart can be destroyed in hell. It means it’s only natural that he lose everything. 

I appreciate that he’s sticking to his goth theme, though, that party hat is just red and black.

Suit Saeran’s very... minimalist in the sense that he just picks things that are truly intense and sharp. That’s why he wears a suit. That’s because it’s the thing that he knows that can radiate power. Business men are supposed to be strong and forthcoming with their ability, that’s why he leans that way. 

His father is like that, the idea of what power and monster is feeds into how he chooses to dress himself. 

That’s why he just says, “Suit time.” If anyone was curious about that, anyway, I never seen people talk about that. Ray was given his clothes by Rika, he never got a say in how he dressed. The boys always pick something dark because it’s going to match their mood... their mood is how they pick colors and clothes if given the ability. 

That’s why GE Saeran is bright and cottagecore. It reflects the positive shift in his thoughts and perspective on the world. But, with Suit Saeran, he’s trying to emulate what he’s scared of and what he thinks that power is and this is the only way he knows how and it hurts to think about when you frame it that way, I do know that. 

Is that meant to be a stamp and playbook? Did Suit Saeran really make a whole illustrated guide for his puppet show? Is he really making acts and stories for all of this? He had to make those puppets himself. We know that Saeran is creative and can make anything, but those things are clearly handmade, hand-painted, I have a strong feeling that he made those clothes himself, too... 

You know, I like to imagine him drawing his emojis before he comes to you because he wants to make a good impression, but he’s a very specific artist and he gets angry when he can’t get things right, so I’m really thinking about him being out here in his workroom, painting fine details with a determined look in his eyes like—

“This’ll show that toy. This’ll show them how powerful I am.” 

Suit Saeran, honey, this is a gift within itself, you are a dork and I love you so much, oh my God.

TLDR; Suit Saeran makes puppets and makes their own playbook like this is going to a musical or the opera. 

He actually brought you the exact outfit. This means that he either made you that outfit, or he got himself, and then he made a smaller version. 

I like to think he’s crafty with sewing so I pretend he does things like this, but honestly, if you’ve made it this far, are you also thinking about the fact that he made a doll versions of the both of you to show you something? 

Because I can’t stop thinking about that. He really said, “Look at this, I made us, toy!” Like, I wrote a whole imagine once where MC and GE Saeran made each other plush dolls of the other person to sleep with. He just went out here and made puppets simply because he wanted to put on a show. He made y’all and I’m gonna cry what a fucking dork.

This is canon.

My God, I’m canon. 

Once again, I’m out here living my best life and nobody’s going to stop me on that front. Saeran wants to impress you and astound you so badly that he does not even realize that the handmade things that he’s making actually would be something that flatter someone. 

Like, he could use those to patronize me and berate me for control, but—

I’d really be sitting there compliment his fine eye and craftsmanship. It’s just that great. 

“Wow, Saeran. You did this all by yourself? These details are so realistic and finely tuned. This must have taken you hours... no, days, it must have taken you days to paint everything and stitch all of this together, even the little fine details are perfect. You’re amazing! When did you have the time to learn all of this?” 

He would scoff, “Of course, I am, you blubbering toy! Don’t suck up to me and think that you’re going to be treated nicely. I won’t tell you anything about me. You don’t deserve that. I didn’t do this to impress you, I did this to show you what I want from you. Now, be a good little toy, sit there, and do as I ask. I won’t repeat myself.” 

I find it interesting that he framed himself in the Savior’s seat here. Is that just a tie back to BE3, or is it simply his power play? I think it’s a comment on the fact that he struggles to know how much power that he truly has in his hands. That is to say, he says he’s the strongest, but the reality is, Rika is stronger then him and he bows his head to her. 

Even in his fantasy, she holds all of the cards and he has no choice but to bend.

But, with MC, he is trying to use them to control his idea of power... because it’s a fragile thing. It could break at any second. He screams and shouts all that he wants but he knows, deep down, he may be strong, but he’s not the strongest in this place. How could he be? That’s why Rika even says to you during those late hours—

“Mmm, you noticed? He’s using you to stabilize himself because otherwise, he would crumble. Thanks for your sacrifice to helping me win my goals. It wasn’t a pleasure knowing someone as bright as you, getting in my way and trying to turn them against me.” 

He only feels strong when something placates the idea in his chest. It hurts, even in his numb and confused heart, he’s hurting and he can’t figure out a way to get out of the dark labyrinth. Did he make the Mint Eye playhouse? Did he? I am saying he did. None of you are going to stop me. Saeran is a creative artist and I will not be contained any longer.

Cheritz confirmed. 

You’re a doll on a string in this for him. He wants to say that he bends and controls you to his whims, but... he’s also there. This isn’t just you being a toy, it’s Saeran realizing that he’s a toy, too. Why else would he make a doll of his person, then? This is about him not entirely getting it, though. He would make himself but not realize what he’s implying to know deep down, underneath all of his yelling.

When I saw him in the chair, I thought... this is him in relation to being the marionette king. That’s why they’re doing this, oh my God. It makes sense to frame the MC as a puppet or toy, they’re always “his eyes” and “his toy” and more and more and more. But, he’s also being played for a toy by Rika to get what she wants.

Who is really the puppet here?

Who is really on the strings? 

Look at that cocky bastard. Look at him. Look at him forever and deal with me screaming about him, oh my God. In conclusion, I’m having a lot of feelings at the moment presently and I think I’m going to go and lay back down because I am going to need a minute to unpack everything that I’m feeling and dealing with because Suit Saeran.

SUIT SAERAN!