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parallel-play-fanfic · 6 months

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What is this?

This is a Danganronpa, self-ship fanfic and retelling of SDR2: Goodbye Despair written by @my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda.

Full Title: Sensitive Hearts in Parallel Play

Quick summary: Autistic/Adhd queer kids form a friendship and eventual wlw romance despite being in a killing game. Non-despair au, mutual pining slowburn romance, humor, hurt/comfort, eventual OC x (trans girl) Kazuichi Soda,

Long version of the summary, and long notes/reoccurring themes/potential triggers for this story at the bottom (I will also mention any triggers in the story at the top of posts for every time of relevance, so it's okay to skip this post as long as you heed the trigger warnings on the top of each part of the story)

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Zoey Parker, the Ultimate Cartoonist with a superhero complex, wakes up with the rest of her class on a deserted island and is told to make friends with everybody. She realizes quickly that her autism and adhd might make this difficult, so she decides to enlist the help of a neurotypical student who can be a guide to help her make all the friends, navigate confusing social situations, and understand what is happening around her. For this guide, she chooses none other than...Kazuichi Soda.

Despite Kazuichi not exactly being the expert in normal socializing (or perhaps because of this) the two end up forming the start of a friendship: right on time for Monokuma to show up and turn the "heart-throbbing school trip" into his signature killing game!

...Though, Monokuma is forced to skirt around an annoying new rule that he can't punish the Blackened with violence or death. But Monokuma insists that the killing game is still on! He continues to torment the students, specifically two promising Blackeneds-in-the-making: Mahiru Koizumi and Zoey Parker, who both have big secrets, their lives on the line, and a potential to kill.

But Zoey fights to keep herself alive as she clings onto her friendship (and budding crush) on Kazuichi.

Meanwhile, Kazuichi's friendship with Zoey leads to some realizations about...herself. Not quite ready to come out as a trans girl, Kazuichi constantly flip-flops between her newfound queer identity she can express with her also-queer friend Zoey, and the tough guy act that she puts on for everyone else. And she's not sure where her obsession with Sonia Nevermind is supposed to fit in with all of this. Because she obviously has a crush on Sonia Nevermind (she thinks?), but, she also might have a crush on Zoey? Why does everything have to be confusing?

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Other Important Notes in the story, this has some plot details but I think it's relevant for triggers and knowing what the fanfic gets into:

The fanfic is mostly humor (a lot of cringe comedy), but there are some reoccurring themes that get heavy...

Zoey is depressed/has intrusive thoughts/is suicidal (I will always give bold warnings on the top of the posts where this is relevant to the scenes and make relevant tags, you will not be thrown into anything triggering without warning, I promise.)

(Self-harm mention!) While Zoey doesn't cut herself, she does things like neglect her needs (e.g. letting herself get too hungry) and sometimes act recklessly knowing something could kill her, and that can be disturbing. I'll always give warnings for this stuff being in posts as well.

This oc is my self-insert. I was depressed/suicidal as a teenager, but I am no longer depressed/suicidal and my intrusive thoughts are fewer and more manageable. You don't have to worry about me bc of this fanfic. I chose to process the feelings (not based on real events, but just feelings of loneliness and trouble making friends as a neurodivergent teen) through this fanfic.

No family drama in this fic: not that it didn't exist, more like I don't wanna write about it, so it may get mentioned if relevant but no flashbacks/long stories about it and it's mostly irrelevant to the fanfic. This goes for both Kazuichi's and Zoey's families. I don't even want to see Kazuichi's dad, let alone draw him.

Kazuichi is in the closet for most of this fanfic (and doesn't know she can be a girl in the beginning) so expect a lot of he/him pronouns/misgenderings bc she's still in the closet. She is still named Kazuichi and likes her name. I'll give warnings for any transphobia, though I don't have any plans for characters being transphobic. Most of them are either accepting or Fuyuhiko (hella confused but too awkward to make a confrontation about it, but he comes around).

This fic does have a lot of internalized transphobia though, for both Kazuichi and Zoey (who is bigender, she/her pronouns)

Zoey and Kazuichi character growth and long conversations and just hanging out together fluff.

Teruteru is a recurring character and I write him as sort of a bastard (/affectionate). Actually writing him as a "lovable pervert" compelled me. So he is kind of a mom friend and a sexual harasser at the same time. The characters are put off by him but I find him funny.

Mahiru is sort of an antagonist because when I first played the game I found her annoying and sexist. Still, I try to write her in-character, and I've come to like her better through writing this fic and forcing her to confront the past, so I believe in character growth for her (and Nagito too!) To be fair, Zoey also has her annoying moments here, and most of them are around her (sometimes ridiculous) conflicts with Mahiru. For one thing, Zoey thinks Mahiru taught Hiyoko to be a bully. This is how Zoey misunderstands the situation but is still a character calling Mahiru out on some stuff other characters let her get away with.

Mahiru and Nagito friendship.

Lot of "will they or won't they" with Zoey and Kazuichi even though it is obvious as hell where it's all going. It's like they are eternally in a contest to see who can be more obvious about their crush and who can be more oblivious to the other's crush. They're both winning (which means losing) for like half the fanfic, maybe more than half?

Boob focus in the humor and the gender dysphoria (Zoey has a character development arc about her chest. You can laugh, it's meant to be funny, though keep in mind the author actually does have chest dysphoria).

I like writing "cringe comedy", ridiculous conversations/scenarios, characters (and their conversations) leading the plot, and foreshadowing.

This fanfic gets fucking bonkers and please let me know what moments made you go "Wait, what the fuck?!"

#parallel play #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #sdr2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #fanfic #zoey parker #danganronpa oc

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sleepdepravity · 10 months

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DISTRUTHS - general character notes

alright this post is about character backgrounds, character hangups, character developments, and the ideas i had for character dynamics. very many of these were not very developed, i will be honest, but here i go.

Actually, getting into some school stuff first. the students were chosen in terms of "being future leaders," and then they have some weird talents. But part of the concept i had in my head involved, their talents themselves aren't necessarily the leader traits, it's that their leader traits the headmaster saw exhibit as the talents they got assigned? i'm not sure if i'm explaining this right, maybe i'll explain more as italk about each character. but there's sort of the more "physical" traits, the "social" traits, and the "intellectual" traits. Akane, Koizumi, and Yuu (and to a certain extent, Katashi) are on the physical side, where they provide important...i guess you could say infrastructure stuff. (medical, mechanical, agricultural, and. extremely intense jack-of-all-trades.) quite a few of the others fall into the "social" sphere: Yamaguchi, Matsui, Minoru, Kotone, Oshiro. Yamaguchi is a good team player. Matsui is actually quite good at gaining a following, in terms of blogosphere (she really doesn't thrive in death game though, i guess). Minoru, Kotone, and Oshiro in particular are tuned into people? This is the reason why i said (way long ago) that Minoru and Kotone have max relationships with everybody else. Minoru, although tagged as a spirit medium, is really adept at easing people and understanding what others are going through. Kotone understands people to the point where they can mimic them, and that's how they can get into their roles. Oshiro, as a magician, is good at knowing how to direct people's attention. The "intellectual" group is K-1 (arts counts as intellectual), Tsubame, Noboru, Shinobu, and Megumi. Who may seem out of place, but part of the intellectual aspect is having a body of knowledge, and she's particularly good at sniffing out knowledge.

Anyways.

Mori Tomiko

The fake main character. I had always wanted her to be the second culprit, and I had always wanted to pull the trick of just quietly adding the knife to her inventory without telling the audience.

Her first cover story, being "SHSL Charisma," is honestly not far off the mark, given that she had been able to orchestrate a whole movement against her own mom's school project. She used Yuu to be able to get close to the school itself and influenced Seki to turn against everybody else. She held a lot of hate for the school and its ideals (which is completely fair) and then it sort of spiraled out of control for her. (I think you can kind of see some hints about this sort of obsession in the beginning and in her interactions with the others.) Since she was the fake main character, I don't have anything about what her free time events would have been like.

K-1

Chill guy. He doesn't particularly care much about music as his talent, probably because he used it as an outlet for dealing with his sister's supposed death and then it took off. I think he feels caught between the expectation of turning his hobby into a career and the fact that, this hobby was born out of grief that he doesn't quite feel like he's escaped yet. I think his free time events would center around feeling assured that he can just keep music as a side thing in his life, or even just drop it entirely if he feels like it.

Oshiro Haruki

Very much a guy with a mask. I...am not sure if I developed much for him...especially since I knew he'd be out of the way very quickly. I think his free time events would lean heavily on the theme of misdirection, but other than that, I don't know.

Kobayashi Minoru

Strangely enough, Minoru was originally going to be a survivor. Yuu was actually going to be the second victim, but then...i don't know when, but somewhere along the way I decided it might be more interesting and less straightforward for Yuu to survive and be roped into Mori's scheme. (The original murder was going to be more like Mori finding the note on Tsubame's door, being the one who almost died, then killing Yuu when he follows her.)

I do feel bad for Minoru dying. Their free time events would center around death and grief, showing off that they see the art of spirit medium as first and foremost a way to soothe the living. And also, showing that they have a keen sense of other people, able to pick up details...it's just that they believe it has to do with spiritual power. Other than that, they're quite sensible and practical. (which, thinking about it, i guess shows by the way they were able to leave hints to their murder.) They get along with everybody, even though not everybody gets along with them (Akane). In particular, I suppose they would get along with K-1 and Yuu. Back when they were a survivor, I had imagined them as grouping with Kotone and Noboru.

Nakayama Megumi

Enjoys being the villain, knows how to spin stories, and as a result also may sense when stories are being spun. She believes that being a bearer of the truth inevitably means being the villain, which is why she leans into it, especially since it means she can unabashedly say whatever the fuck she wants.

This does mean that she doesn't consult anybody else, which I suppose in a way led to her downfall. Without someone else to bounce off of, she focused on her own conclusions and pursued it, falsely thinking that Shinobu must have been the mastermind, or at least on the enemy team. The investigative journalist walks a lonely road...

Her free time events would have probably peeled back her life philosophy about truth and her isolation. and maybe potentially start getting her thinking about including other people.......right before her untimely death, lol. Of course, she enjoys needling Matsui. I remember vaguely thinking that she would like hanging with Shinobu too, at least until she thought he was literally part of the death game scheme? I'm not sure why.

Yamaguchi Nakazawa

Straight up a guy who has no secrets. He tries doing whatever he thinks is best for the group, and he's pretty good at it, even if he's overall uncertain about himself. Honestly, I don't think I had put much into his development either...

Koizumi Ren

He seems shy, but it's more that he doesn't like people. He says very harsh and snide things in such a gentle way that it often goes under the radar. Plants are much easier to deal with, and also cuter.

I think my concepts for his free time events would probably focus around his frustration with the image he puts off, or at least the image he thinks he puts off. Despite not liking people, he also can't help but not like the way he seems to be overlooked in the conversation too. He's got a lot of pent-up anger.

Wakahisa Shinobu

Part of a family of critics. Since his area of focus is video games, he ends up feeling embarrassed about it when he compares himself to the rest of his family, who are all about movies, art, music, books, all the "higher arts." At the same time, he has a lot of pride in his own opinions (as critics tend to be), and thus he keeps waving back and forth between supercilious and embarrassment of his own interests.

I remember specifically choosing the name "Shinobu," because it was a gender neutral name and I guess I was considering the plot point of "oooo maybe Shinobu is the name of that unknown girl from the opening cutscene and this guy is secretly replacing her" and I guess his execution scene is sort of a sly reference to that? but I don't think that would have actually gone anywhere.

Him and Yuu end up bonding. Yuu thinks he should really just talk with his family about his interests instead of assuming that they look down on him.

Tsubame Nihiri

I...honestly have a very personal bias to Tsubame. She's the character I created for the RP all the way back when, before i sort of took the RP and then developed a whole bunch of concepts into DISTRUST, so it was probably inevitable...and I also made her a philosopher so...but also, I wonder if I would have given her a different backstory if I had made DISTRUST later. Ah well.

Right at the beginning of her first year in high school, Tsubame attempted suicide, because she felt life was meaningless. She was rescued, but her parents preferred to keep her institutionalized rather than bring her back home. She quietly recovered for two (or three?) years, mostly reading and chatting with other patients before being discharged, and then got selected for the school, starting at the first year since she hadn't finished it before being hospitalized. (No idea what the first encounter between her and K-1 would have been like...)

In any case, she talks like an old man (which is why she calls everybody "-kun") and is logical to a fault, pursuing thoughts that most people would just toss out immediately due to them being...probably socially inappropriate. Her free time events would probably focus on her feeling too out of place with everybody else? In terms of her design...half of her hair has been cut short, but then the other half has been left long. I think...I did that to signify "indecisiveness" but...she turned out to not be indecisive...oops...

After the third case, when she realizes that she's actually like two years older than she thought she was, she also realizes that, well, she's an adult, which is why she starts working very hard to try to find a way to escape. It became very important to her that the kids make it out and she felt like it was her responsibility. Although she asked Kotone and Noboru for help, she didn't tell them her full plan, just said that she "had a plan" when they asked how she was going to outrun Monobear. I think one of the very earliest ideas was that she'd be waffling on whether she should go through with this plan when she talked with Matsui, and Matsui says something harsh which leads Tsubame to realize, yes, she wants these kids to be able to leave, and so she goes through with it.

I should probably also mention that the reason why K-1's ID was missing was because she found it first and hid it, and had a lot of private angst about the idea that she literally tried to murder her literal brother.

Tsukino Kotone

Someone who doesn't feel like they have a sense of self, and instead mimics others or inhabits characters that, of course, do have developed selves. An extremely wide range. Could potentially even mimic animals, I suppose. Even in the school pictures, they dress up the way they do during DISTRUST. Maybe that was just the major role they were voicing for at the time and, with the induced amnesia, that was the role they latched onto for now.

Along with Minoru, Kotone has full relationship bars with everybody, due to being very good at understanding other people. They do really have a lot of individuality, just unable to see it. Since Kotone keeps using other people as a marking point, they sort of measure themselves as "not like this person," "not like that person," and that results in a sense of self that seems to be "not anybody." Free time events would probably focus on the sense of self, and hopefully starting to recognize their own empathy and compassion as something that is real.

Matsumoto Matsui

Matsui is.....very much the product of. the '00s–'10s tumblr blogger stereotype. I do think of her as extremely competent in the blogosphere, able to communicate ideas very well to different audiences. Too bad this death game isn't a blog. She's also inflexible, of course, mainly seeing things in black and white, preferring a simple worldview because, well, that also makes things easier to communicate. But I think she probably could use her communication skills to great effect if she had been given some time to mature.

I imagined her engaging a lot with Tsubame, in terms of trying to barrel her with social justice issues and "defeating" her in rhetoric, but then gets frustrated because Tsubame will always run with it and absolutely will say "yeah, sure, i don't believe in gay marriage, because why should the state even be able to define marriage in the first place, maybe marriage doesn't even exist, what is marriage actually? why don't we try to define marriage? is marriage defined by love? what is love? what if by our current definition of love, nobody actually—" and then matsui throws a hissy fit and leaves.

her free time events would probably get her to actually show off her talent in the way that the main parts of the story can't, letting her really flaunt her knack for knowing what to say, in. like. normal circumstances. and also, hopefully, the free time events also will help push her towards some amount of flexibility.

Mizushima Yuu

Guy who was supposed to die early and then ended up surviving. I got accidentally endeared to him after I figured out in the middle of case 1 how his brain works, which is. essentially, taking basic knowledge and just smashing them together in bizarre ways that you can see the logic in but it's clearly wrong. (I still really like "well, i've seen cats that have two colors like that, and i heard a dog say "i love you" once, so maybe Monobear is an actual bear") I mentioned that he bonds with Shinobu, but now that I think of it, he'd probably bond with Tsubame too, just because she'd have fun playing with the way he thinks. I didn't intend for this until I started writing out these summaries, but I think he ends up bonding with Katashi, through sheer persistence and also because it turns out they have the same energy. Which.......i guess means all of the attempted murderers all like each other..............wow.........

Ryukana Katashi

Guy who would have probably been the hardest to really get a bead on, given how much he kept avoiding everybody. The main idea behind him was that, as intense as he is, he thinks everything he does is actually just the bare minimum anybody should do, which is why he doesn't even want to be in this school of "exceptional" kids. In his mind, he's just average, and he has an intense dislike for the idea of "talent," and an immediate distrust for everybody around him because they're associated with "talent." Or something like that. At the same time, he's........incredibly competitive. And he loves competition. From the beginning, I thought of him as a combination between Togami and Ishimaru. But I think...given the way I had him act, I don't think this would come across very often. He just wouldn't stay around anybody long enough to really show his full colors.

His main hang-up is that attributing things to "talent" feels like dismissing his hard work. And he works hard! At the same time, because the others have been labeled as "talented," he ends up looking down on everybody else, who didn't "work hard." His free time events would probably dig into that and get him re-thinking his biases. From the beginning, i did think that he'd end up hanging out with Tsubame a lot because of how she would just go with his flow. And, unlike Matsui, instead of getting frustrated, he'd go all in on a debate and absolutely relish the perceived challenge. They'd probably just be in a perpetual state of debating, having to put a pause on it to do other things. I think that would be funny.

Noboru Sato

The amnesiac. No matter what, his relationship status with everybody would be "zero." I'm not sure if I really had considered the full implications of having him be an anterograde amnesiac. I probably hadn't put in the full research I should have back then either. However, thinking on it now, the idea is just. kinda hilarious.

He lost a leg after the riots, which means he is in a constant state of "wow, what happened to my leg???" He has to keep refreshing himself on what's going on, and despite recording everything, it's not like he constantly checks his notes or can reread all the pertinent information, so. in all likelihood. for most of the story, he probably isn't fully aware that he's in a death game. His prosthetic leg was made by Yuu, who...apparently never fixed the length, but that might be because Noboru never brought it up.

However, as a historian, I figured that he'd be extremely good at piecing things together all the time. Hopefully this came across during the first trial. In my mind, what made him stand out as a historian was about his ability to make certain leaps of logic in how event A turns into event B, and making sound reasoning as to what people would be thinking or how they would maybe react during the time, given such and such circumstances. However. He truly would have just been going around just. not aware. Which is why Akane would trust him the most. He just doesn't have the capability of keeping the idea of murder in his head. Or even that there's a reason to murder anybody in the first place. I have absolutely no idea what his free time events would even be. The only reason he wouldn't treat each meeting as the first time is because he would be consulting his notes of every previous meeting.

Yukimaru Akane

The only one who remembers everything that happened. She really. Has a time of it. Having spent years with classmates and then they just start KILLING EACH OTHER. God. How wild.

I'm sorry, I don't have much else to say about her. I just keep thinking about how her perspective is so insane. Wow.

Seki Yumiko

The mastermind, SHSL luck. I don't think there's much more I can say about her that I hadn't in previous posts. (also, i'm tired.) I think Katashi would understand her the most, though, which would probably horrify him a bit. Which is a fun characterization thought.

#dangan ronpa adventure #okay hiiiii thank you DISTRUST is over now bye #thanks guys #also sorry

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despair-to-future-arcs · 11 months

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Izuru perfect timing! I was originally going to ask how Hajime feels about going all goth after everything is done and over!

...Is that question important?

I guess they are curious how Hajime is feeling about all this.

I see... well, to put it simply he was very tired but when I offer to take over for him... he became quite stubborn...

...

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The actual hell?! Why would I give up my body to the likes of you! There's no way I'm doing that after everything we all been through!

But even then, you seem tired and not able to spend time with your friends, am I correct?

Well yes I am but as long as they return back to normal, away from despair then that's all that matters to me.

And why would you care; you never care about a single damn thing ever since your creation so why does it matter?

Because I know Nagi would want that and I'm sure she would understand...

...!?

Look... I'm not saying you have to like me, honestly I could care less about anyone else but I know you would want your friends to come back, so how about we make a deal...

I can do all the programming and surgery for your friends that die in the simulation, it could help all of us and make things go faster if I do all of it and as more of the virus is remove, you'll be seeing less of me.

And? What do you get out of this...?

Not much really, as say I do think it might be a good idea if I do the programming and return all your friends away from despair.

While Junko did make things 'interesting' it was still boring to me and seeing the killing game; I could see you all fighting for your futures and I suppose that inspired me as well...

So I guess to answer, this would be my 'redemption' to you, to restore the others and return them back to normal; I took away their home and this might be the way to redeem myself...

...

I see, so your going to do all the programming and restoring my friends, very well... I'll allow it but on the condition that I get to spend time with them before we get back to work, I think that be a fair agreement.

Very well... I'll do that but remember that as more and more of that virus is remove, I'll appear less and less...

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...

Sooo if I'm understanding this right; your just here to help with programming and surgery?

Indeed, that is what I'm here for... that'll all be what I'm doing but Hajime shall return after Mahiru Koizumi is awake.

So Hajime isn't completely gone, just that Izuru is fronting Hajime right now...

Well the question wasn't that important but still that does explain a lot.

I suppose so but I rather wait until I finish eating and Nagi can ask me questions...

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #fs:rw #future side: re write #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #izuru kamukura #nagi nanami #hajime hinata #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #sonia nevermind #anonymous #fs ep 6

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dotster001 · 2 years

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Hello! Congrats on the 300 followers!! Can I ask for some Yakumo Koizumi from arr with prompt 56 🥰?

Thank you very much, I hope I did this correctly?

(Him? I adore him....he's so pretty I just...... Jahshfjhdj you know? Also, the fact that yesterday his route released? I'm so excited 😂 and yeah you did it right, but even if you didn't, I would have forgiven you for picking him)

56. I can't willingly or unwillingly bear to leave your side.

Something must have gone terribly wrong for you and Nachi to be at Professor Yakumo's house, and for Nacho to be in his human form while he was there.

The last thing you remembered was fighting off a rather large wraith. You must have expelled too much energy during the purification, or been knocked out at some point after that. But that still begged the question…

"Professor, why am I here?" You croaked out, as you watched him kneel next to where you were laying down.

Nachi rushed to your side, visibly nervous, and already talking at a speed you could barely understand.

"Yura is out on some mission, remember? And none of us could figure out anywhere else to go."

You felt bad, and tried to sit up, but groaned when you felt your entire body swamped with pain. The professor gently laid you back down.

"No need to rush, my precious doll. I have no qualms with taking care of you for a little while," he soothed, before putting a cold cloth on your forehead. "Nachi? Can you get some food for Y/N?"

Nachi nodded then rushed out of the room. Yakumo was looking at you with such concern, that you began to feel overwhelmed, and looked away.

"So, what did Nachi tell you?" You asked, trying to be subtle.

He gave a soft laugh, "he told me he was your cat, Tama, and that you would explain further."

"And you didn't question that?"

"There's a lot of unexplained phenomena in life, my doll," he said smiling fondly at you. "And if one such phenomena means I can spend some more time with you, then so be it."

Dang, he was smooth.

"Okay, I'll tell you everything," you groaned.

You told him of how you had discovered you had the powers of an onmyoji, and how you had learned of the existence of ayakashi, and contracted yourself to five. You told him how you were a reincarnation of a very powerful onmyoji, and it left you with deep soul bonds. You told him how the government had found you, and put you to work purifying the wraith scourge in the capital.

"I've made some enemies along the way as well," you whispered, finally. "It might not be safe for you to stay involved with me now that you know." You tried to sit up again, pain still bad, but you had realized that you probably shouldn't impose on him any longer.

He again gently pushed you back down, but this time he grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. He held it to his heart as he said, "My beloved doll, I can't willingly or unwillingly bear to leave your side." He said it softly, but firmly, and you were overwhelmed by his affection. He gave a laugh, "And besides, I've come across ayakashi in my research. What kind of professor would I be if I gave up the opportunity to get to know some? Maybe with more knowledge about them, your friends won't have to hide anymore."

You had thought his affection was overwhelming. But the affection you felt for him was much worse. Your face warmed as you looked up at him.

Maybe you were a little delusional from the pain, but you found yourself saying, "you're perfect, what did I do to deserve you."

He smiled at you, hushing you with a finger to your lips. "We can discuss that some other time. For now, rest until Nachi brings you food. I'll watch over you."

Despite yourself, you drifted off, the last thing in your vision his beautiful eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the whole world.

#ayakashi x reader #ayakashi romance reborn #300 followers #yakumo koizumi #arr yakumo #professor yakumo #yakumo koizumi x reader #yakumo x reader

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daisyachain · 2 years

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I read Haruhi Suzumiya as a reaction to Evangelion specifically. Am I wrong? Maybe! Eva used and/or started a lot of real common tropes in anime/manga/light novels. The points I’ve got in my favour is that Nagato is explicitly a Rei clone (Ayanami and Nagato both being the names of battleships according to TvTropes). The jargon and mysterious vague organizations draw a more tenuous link (The Organization and the Data Thought Entity ring of NERV or SEELE). Kyon for his part is an anti-Shinji, an aggressively cynical and genre-aware protag instead of the most naive boy alive.

[[MORE]]

If Haruhi is an Eva parody, we’ve got a pretty easy Yuki = Rei and Haruhi = Asuka love triangle. Mikuru is harder, but Mikuru (big) has elements of Misato. Taniguchi and Kunikida are pretty clearly Toji and Kensuke. Random classmates whose names I always have to look up. Leaving, drumroll, Koizumi as Kaworu. No explanation needed there.

The closest Haruhi Suzumiya has to a running plot is Kyon and Haruhi’s romance. They butt heads, they barely seem to like each other, and every arc has to end with them reconciling or making some kind of choice that brings them closer together. Similar to Shinji/Asuka it kind of fills the role of Only They Can Deal With Each Other. Except it’s actually a fun little friendship instead of a dumb annoying godawful mess because I hate Eva and it’s a pain to even think about. They’re literally destined to be together via time loops and the very fabric of the universe as woven by Haruhi.

Only, the love polygon that was such a big part of the Eva (especially the fan response to Eva) is integrated into Haruhi despite the foregone conclusion. Disappearance is an in-universe KyonYuki AU. Kyon has to accept Yuki’s feelings and reject her advances to save the day. Kyon being horny for Mikuru is a recurring (annoying) plot point where an excess of attention or kindness towards her triggers whatever plot-driving conflict with Haruhi that is going to happen in that story.

So the closest thing to a recurring plot in Haruhi is the Kyon/Haruhi romance, and one of the major recurring complications (after Haruhi being an unmanageable nuisance) is Kyon straying from Haruhi. Both of the female SOS brigade members are threats to the endgame that Kyon has to deal with to win the day. Except—there’s a third SOS brigade member! Koizumi.

Koizumi’s a parody as much as a character played straight just like everyone else. He’s the soft-spoken ambiguously motivated bishie that starts with Kaworu but trickles down through a series of White Haired Anime Boys. Canonically he’s got a crush on Haruhi and handles it through OHS-prohibited levels of passive aggression and insinuating that Kyon is into her.

That’s not the whole story. There’s a running gag of Koizumi borderline flirting with Kyon like Kaworu does in his scenes. So! Just because of who he’s parodying, Koizumi is as much implied to have a thing for Kyon as Mikuru. Which means that following the structure of Haruhi, there has to be an arc where Kyon and Koizumi’s friendship is tested and leads to Kyon definitely choosing Haruhi over him. I don’t think it’s happened yet, because Koizumi never gets his own spotlight. Also hard to do, since Koizumi likes Haruhi as much as Kyon. The romantic conflict goes two ways.

What does set Koizumi apart from the girls isn’t his unavailability as a romantic interest, it’s the role he has in the plot. Mikuru, Haruhi, and Yuki rarely chat with Kyon. Mikuru is classified, Haruhi decrees instead of conversing, Yuki doesn’t say anything ever. Leaving Koizumi to handle most of the dialogue Kyon has with another person. He’s got a strong presence throughout the various stories despite not getting his spotlights (like Mikuru and Yuki) because someone has to talk about all the cool math stuff the author found in his old textbooks that day. He doesn’t need a colour story because he’s always there.

The closest thing we get to a Koizumi episode is the Surprise arc. It’s been a while since I reread, but I remember the climax being Kyon and Koizumi storming the school to rescue Haruhi from the anti-SOS. There’s no conflict separating them at any point in the arc, Koizumi isn’t ever tempted to join the anti-SOS or whatever. It just doesn’t line up with Yuki or Mikuru’s roles. I don’t think that there are ever going to be more Haruhi Suzumiya books after that one 2020 bunch, they’re just a silly few parody novels that occasionally have some adventure or puzzles. Still, it’s so obviously making fun of Eva that it feels wrong for it not to close the circle and have a short Kaworu story. For old times’ sake.

#kelsey liveblogs haruhi suzumiya

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aftertherainthoughts · 2 months

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Raining today:

I have training at my martial arts gym today. I love days that happen to be both rainy and days I train. It reminds me to have one of my favorite films: "Ame Agaru" (After the Rain) playing in the background while I work. I cannot understand Japanese, but I've watched the film so many time I have parts of it memorized.

For those who are not familiar with the film, it is the last screenplay of the late Akira Kurosawa who passed away before the film's completion and his long time assistant: Takashi Koizumi carried the torch and directed the film.

I first watched this film in college. I was up late on one of my many insomniac nights in the dorm. One of my vivid memories was of this was my neighbor texting me: "Master Chung could you turn it down?" knowing I was into martial arts and assuming it was a Kung Fu flick.

I was suprised how long it took this long for me to discover this film, being a cinephile and all but I think college was the perfect time for me to discover it. The film is about a masterless Samurai who is traveling with his wife hoping to find a lord that he is happy to serve under.

The character Misawa Ihei's character is not a typical Samurai. He is nice to all people, not just those of the Samurai class. Something we do not see often in films. He treats everyone with respect and decency, including a prostitute character who is one of the many people stuck in the inn he and his wife are staying at during a bad rain storm.

I don't want to reveal too much about the film, you just have to go watch it. But it a film I feel everyone should see and I feel it's main theme is about being a humble, kind, good person. To be calm, optimistic, & happy as much as you can, and to be a good person.

I loved the film so much towards the end of my college career I ordered the Soundtrack all the way from Japan which I listen to on occasion especially on these rainy training days. I used to play it a lot when I was still training in Aikido which lined up a lot with philosophically with the film. Though I don't think that stops me from carrying the philosophy to the martial art school I train at now though it is not in a Budo tradition.

Everyone needs to watch this film, it has deeper meaning than the few fight scenes and the fact that it's about a Samurai. Go watch it. Here's a YouTube link to a Laserdisc rip with English Subtitles. Enjoy:

youtube

#blog #martial arts #philosophy #self care #zen #optimism #Youtube

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lonely-layla · 2 years

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✩ 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖 / 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ✩

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

Read this before requesting to prevent confusion if I deny

Name: Layla any pronouns(genderfluid)

✩Content under cut ✩

Hello there! I’m Layla! This is an information post about requests and what you are able to do. Let’s get to it<3

『 𝕋𝕪𝕡𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥: 』

LGBTQ! characters/readers(being part of the community myself I have no problem with it<3)

POC! reader(I am a person of color myself <3)

Chubby/plus sized!reader(also me <3)

Female/male/gender neutral!reader

NSFW(my forte)

Fluff(I love comfort posts)

Angst(I’m not good at it but I’ll try)

『 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕖𝕤 𝕚𝕗 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥: 』

R4pe

Pedophilia/child porn(if the character is aged up then it’s okay)

Incest / Stepcest / Pseudo-cest

Trans Male/ Trans Female (I am not trans and I don’t know how it feels. I don’t want to offend anyone by spreading misinformation about how it works)

Vomit/ Piss/ Scat (wtf-weirdos…)

Characters x OCs

Reader with disabilities(I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or spread misinformation about it.)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

✩ 『 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞𝕤 𝕀’𝕝𝕝 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 』 ✩

My hero acedemia

Demon slayer

Danganronpa (all except ultra despair girls)

Haikyuu! (I’m just starting it so I might not know some characters)

Genshin Impact(only some characters lol)

Yandere Simulator

✩ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 absolutely 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 ✩

Any characters that are not on the lists I will write about unless stated otherwise

Class 1 A: izuku midorya, Katsuki Bakgou, Shoto todoroki, Denki Kaminari, Momo yaoyorozu, Mina Ashido, Kyoka jirou, Hanta Sero, Tenya Iida, ocho uraraka,eijiro kirishima

Class 1B: Neito Monoma, Hitoshi Shinsou

Pro hero’s: Shouta aizawa, Keigo takami(hawks) mirko, ms joke, midnight, mt lady

Villains: Touya todoroki(dabi)

Extra characters: Mirio togata, tamaki amajiki

~~~~~~~

Kamaboko squad: tanjiro kamado, zenitsu agatsuma, inosuke hashibira

Hashira: rengoku, giyu tomioka, gyomei himejima, Sanemi shinazugawa,mitsuri kanroji, Tengen Uzui (and his wives ofc)

~~~~~~~

Trigger happy havoc: mondo Owada, Leon kuwata, aoi asahina, Byakuya Togami, Celestia Ludenburg, yasuhiro hagkure, sayoko maizono

Goodbye despair: nagito komaeda, Hajime hinata,ibuki mioda, Gundham Tanaka, Akane owari, Milan tsmiki, Sonia nevermind

Killing harmony: Rantaro Amami, shuichi saihara, Miu iruma,Kiibo, Tenko chabashira, maki harukawa, Gonta gakuhara

~~~~~~~

(I’m just started watching this anime so sorry if there aren’t a lot of characters to chose from)

Karasuno: Shoyo hinata, Tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima, yuu nishinoya,ryunosuke tanaka

Nekoma: kuroo tetsuro, Kenna kozume

~~~~~~~

Genshin Impact: Keaya Alberich, Childe Tartaglia, shikanoin heizou, Aether, Zhongli, Dilluc

~~~~~~~

Yandere Simulator: Budo Masuta, Umeji kizuguchi, Shoku Tsuburaya, Osaka Najimi, most 1980’s characters

✩ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 ✩

Class 1 A: Rikado Sato, koji koda, Fumikage tokoyami,Mashirao ojiro, Mezou shoji, Tooru hagakure, minoru mineta, Tsuyu asui, yuga aoyama

Pro heroes: all might, present mic, endeavor, Mickey Mouse lookin ahh principal

Villains: kurogiri, Himiko toga, twice, tomura shigaraki, all for one, the ficking lizard dude

~~~~~~~

Kamaboko squad: nezuko(sorry my soul just can’t)

Hashira: iguro obonai, shinobu kocho

~~~~~~~

Trigger happy havoc:NO MONOKUMA,toko fukawa(or genocide syo),Sakura ogami, kyoko kirigiri, makoto naegi, Hifumi yamada, chihiro fujisaki, Sayaka Maizono, kyotaka ishimaru,

Goodbye despair: NO MONOMI, teruteru hanamura, l nekomaru nidai, Peko pekoyama, Byakuya Twogami, kazuichi soda, mahiru koizumi

Killing harmony: NO MONOKUBS, kokichi oma, Himiko yumeno, Angie yonaga,Korekiyo shinguji

~~~~~~~

Yandere simulator: Gema taku, ayano aishi

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

#chubby reader #chubby!reader #plus size!reader #masterlist #genshin impact smut #plus size reader #mha #genshin impact #haikyuu #assassination classroom #my hero acedamia #demon slayer #danganronpa

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polandspringz · 3 years

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Just wanted to drop here and say that I finished Lovely Complex and I am not saying it’s the superior og romcom anime but it is and i have never met a dumber couple and both of them are so dumb but I would die for them and in this essay I will-

GAHAHAH You had me scared for a minute because I read the "I am not saying-" and was like how but then I finished reading and YES IT IS!!!!

I first watched Lovely Complex back in 5th grade/2011ish, and it sounds corny but I actually remember the exact moment I saw it. My sister had an episode playing on her laptop while she straightened my hair the night before school, and I had watched anime before that, like Kimi Ni Todoke, Toradora, Kaichou wa Maid-sama, etc. but Lovely Complex was just different. It's actually the only anime I can say I've rewatched fully, at least five times. I know the entire soundtrack, I can mimic what the characters are about to do before they say/do it in an episode. I haven't done a full rewatch in a few years, but when I started to this month, I found that I still knew everything, and that's how deeply this series has been stuck in my brain, haha. (I forever think of the phrase "Bear Curry" and cry).

The anime covers so much per episode but yet somehow feels paced really well. Sure it moves fast, but the jokes are just as quick so it doesn't feel out of place. The way Koizumi and Otani's romance develops is done so well, I just love every story beat. The school festival, when she visits him while he's sick and the accidental kiss, her making him the snack for the basketball game and then falling asleep on his shoulder, THE FIREWORKS SCENE, the rush to the college exam, EVERYTHING. The only time I think the show dips is in the second cour when we have the love triangle going on with Koizumi's coworker because of a misunderstanding, but even in that drama I think some funny jokes come out of it (even if Otani is obviously hurt when he asks if she just goes after short guys).

It just makes me happy to see other people watch it is because the show is good. The biggest hurdles people have with getting into it I think is the comedy and the art style. The show is obviously very "loud" and although the jokes I feel are universal(?) I think it does have a very Japanese perspective on comedy, more slapstick- hell the whole show is built on the All Hanshin Kyoujin joke- which doesn't translate easily to beginners to anime. Also the art, although I love it, based on what my friends who failed to get into the show said, I think the reaction faces takes them too far out of the "pretty shoujo style" they like in romance anime. Which is part of why I really try to say that "I'll never drop/avoid a show because of the art style". I don't think its fair to discredit a great story just because you have stylistic preferences. Lovely Complex definitely leans more into the comedy than romance, which is why its art reflects that. The fashion in the show is also very Japanese 2000s, which I don't think a lot of people like either. Although for me, Risa deciding to become a stylist somewhat influenced me deciding to do fashion design at a young age.

I know for most people, their big three in early 2000s romance anime would probably be Kimi ni Todoke, Toradora, and then maybe Kamisama or Maid-sama as the third. However, I've always done my list with Lovely Complex in first place. It's somehow become very underrated in the present day anime community, and while it's definitely not a starter show (I have a whole separate essay just about how newcomers to anime from Tiktok are disliking shows because they're jumping into the new popular ones without being properly warmed up to them through older ones), it is one that I think everyone, especially if they like romance anime, should watch.

#i could write a better ACTUAL essay but i have 2 a c t u a l essays to submit by midnight tonight on fashion SO #this is what you get for now lol #sorry if u didnt want this to be a public response i just had many thoughts #lovely complex #lovecom #ask poland

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charlotteswriting · 4 years

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Hello hope you are doing well! 💕 Could I request the DR2 students reaction to the reader (who is like Sally from Sally Face with a prosthetic mask and personality) taking off the mask? of course you don't have to if you don't wanna💖

Ah, yes, it’s been a long time since I played Sally Face. Let’s gooo!!

Also Shouyo is adorable. 😩😭

Also character limit is 10. But I think I’ll be writing for them all this time. This might be short tho-

Hajime Hinata

Ok but he’s curious?? Because you give off mysterious vibes and he wants to see what’s behind your mask

You barely take off your mask. He attemped to see it when eating, but you hide your face really well

Well, he doesn’t want to pressure you. But if you feel like you can trust him, there’s a chance you might take off your mask.

And when you do, well, let’s say he’ll be silent for a while. He’ll just stare in shock, he doesn’t pity you, he just feels sorry that you have to cover your face with a mask.

He cares more about your personality, so he won’t talk about it at all. He loves you for who you are, not for your face.

Nagito Komaeda

Oh boy. He literally thinks it’s because of his luck. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’ll keep his distance if you are desperate to hide your face

Though he secretly wants to see...

But again, he’s ok if you don’t want to show your face. He doesn’t want to pressure you

He doesn’t mind your looks, but if you were to take off your mask in front him, by any chance, he’d think very highly of himself

“So this is why... I see,” He wouldn’t say anything that’d make you uncomfortable.

He’d appreciate you for trusting him!!

Byakuya Twogami

He totally understands

He understands the pressure you feel and how desperately you don’t want to be seen by anyone

Well, in the time you two grow closer, he’ll open up to you and tell you about his past,, so you might trust him enough to take off your mask in front of him.

“Y/n, are you sure-” Before he could finish his sentence, you take off your mask and he just stares in awe. He’s surprised

He feels sorry for you that you’ve had to gone something so painful. But he feels reliable because you trust him with that.

Teruteru Hanamura

Oh. He’s really curious of what your face looks like!

Like, he wants to take your mask off so bad, but he can’t bring himself do it because of how you’d react. It can’t be good, right?

He’ll have to learn controlling himself,, because he doesn’t want to be judged by you

So if you take off your mask in front of him, he’ll never forget that day. It’s like the most important moment of his life

“I... Y/n, does it hurt?” He doesn’t really care how you look at all. How you feel is his current concern

Gundham Tanaka

Oh, boy, even though he tries to be seen cool outside, he wants to see what’s behind that face

He thinks you’ve made a pact with a devil and you were cursed in return or something like that- but no worries, mortal, Gundham is here, he’ll get your back.

If you were to take off your mask in front of him, he’d be shocked and close his eyes because he thinks you took it off by not noticing he’s here- he respects your privacy

“It’s ok, you can open your eyes...” You’ll have to assure him more than one times and he’ll finally open his eyes

The sight he is met is surprising, he’s rather amazed that you are so strong

Kazuichi Souda

Someone. Stop. Him

He reaaaally is desperate to see what’s behind that mask

Many attempts of trying to see. He even tried to build something that could see through your mask- but he failed and you and Sonia scolded him for hours

But yeah, he gets it, he’ll stop.

But if you were to show your face to him, I don’t think he’d be creeped out- he’d be just surprised... And shocked? Yeah. He still thinks you’re so pretty. And it’s not only about your looks

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

He literally thinks you look so cool with that mask of yours. And that attitude of yours. He simps.

He won’t ask you to show your face to him, if you felt like you’d open yourself to him, you would. So he isn’t forcing

But he wouldn’t mind seeing your face at all. I mean, he has imagined how would you look like- And he really wants to see but he is just embarrassed to ask...

As soon as you take off your mask, his eyes grows big and he’s like: hand in marriage

Yep. He thinks you are beautiful, and that’s on periodt.

Nekomaru Nidai

When he first met you, he’d be like “Who are you and what’s up with that mask?” And when you told him about it, he wouldn’t ask twice

Yeaap. Not even caring for your looks. He’d even tell you nice things if you are insecure

Not even asking you to take it off. For once. It’s not that he doesn’t care, if you wanted to take it off, you would, right?

And when you take it off, he’d thank you for trusting him with something so important. He’d also encourage you and support you!!

Also he wants to ask what happened to you in the past but he can’t, so you’ll have to tell him abt it...

Chiaki Nanami

Even though she doesn’t ask you about your looks, she is curious...

You trust her wholeheartedly, and you feel yourself comfortable around her, so you wouldn’t hesitate to take your mask off.

And when you did, she’d just smile softly and would thank you 🥺🥺😭

It feels good to be reliable, doesn’t it, Chiaki?

Also if you feel yourself insecure, she’ll tell you the nicest things, but if you want to change the subject, she won’t bring it up unless you want to talk about it,,

Sonia Nevermind

Ok but she is really?! Curious of your face?!!

She respects your privacy, but she wants to see it!!! Though she knows her limits smh. She a queen

When you take off your mask, you got her screaming. She isn’t scared, she is feeling mixed emotions, like, happy? Because you trust her enough? And more happy? Because she can finally stop imagining your face?

She thinks you’re really cool and strong!!

Also she’ll definitely want to see it some other time but only if you want to.

Akane Owari

This girl isn’t the desperate time but she’ll ask you to show your face. If you say no, it’s a no, she won’t bring it up again unless it’s mentioned or something.

Also if people annoy you, she’ll literally bark at them to make them stop. You’re really grateful.

When you take off your mask for the first time, she wouldn’t be able to speak. You put your mask on and sigh, thinking she finds you ugly.

Bitch, what? 😃 Say that again!!!

“No, no, I was just surprised you did that out of blue! Show me again, Y/n!”

Mikan Tsumuki

Ahhh, she can relate how you are feeling!! Having to hide your face would be such a pain

She understands you so well, she doesn’t want to make you comfortable about it so she doesn’t even talk about it. She just acts like,, your mask doesn’t even exist. Ahh, Mikan, you’re so perfect, just marry me

If you were to show your face to her she’d be so happy!!! Like you trust her enough?! She feels so touched and appreciates your feelings

As soon as she sees your face, she’ll ask if it’s ok to touch, soft touches with your consent, ahhh

She feels sorry that you have to go through something like that, so she’ll do anything to let you know you are loved!!

Peko Pekoyama

She believes it’s her fault for not protecting you. Even though you told her it happened long before you two had met-

It’s not that she wants to be your S/O because she feels herself guilty, she just wants to protect you at all cost

Even though she won’t ask, that doesn’t mean she isn’t curious of your face. Like, she really wants to see

And if you, by any chance, take off your mask in front of her, she won’t even make a sound. She just won’t be able to take her eyes off your face- though she’ll stop if you feel bad

She doesn’t mind your appearance, she thinks you are precious, and she’ll keep loving you

Mahiru Koizumi

As soon as you told her about the accident, she felt so sorry for you

She didn’t want to involve your personal space, so she kept her space. Though she couldn’t help but wonder about your face

She can’t ask you to take your mask off out of blue.. She can’t be that reckless. That’d totally offend you!

She won’t make a move unless it’s your choice to show her. I think she’d be kind of shocked but totally understanding with u!! She thinks you are unfortunate, yet so beautiful

Now she really wants to ask you for a photo after seeing your face.

Hiyoko Saionji

Ok but she wants to see your face but she doesn’t want to be seen desperate

But you can read her by her actions so well, though she refuses it

She thinks you’re the most perfect human on this world, and she means that, so your appearance doesn’t make a big difference, she already loves you, and you know how kind she is towards the ones she loves- (cough, cough, mahiru)

If you take off your mask out of blue, she’d cover her eyes and let out a loud scream. Which you wouldn’t know how to react. “Hiyoko?! What’s wrong, are you scared?”

She just thought your mask dropped and didn’t want to see you by mistake, is all. She’d be kinda shy because of the misunderstanding, and would try to say kind things, shE TRIES

Ibuki Mioda

Omgggg Ibuki stans rise up! This girl loves everrrrything about you! She first thought you wore that mask because you thought it looked cool, and she adored your style!!

She adored you even more after finding out because you think you need to hide your face. And she wanted to see it. By this, I mean she literally begged you to take it off for her! For only one time! “Pleaaseeee, Y/n, I promise I won’t tell anyone!!!”

Even though she sounds reliable, you hesitate but she gives you puppy eyes- THE PUPPY EYES. So you let it slide, Ig.

When you showed her your face, she literally screamed like a fangirl, “Y/n, what the- You’re so cool under the mask!!!”

“You must take it off some more! Your face is beautiful!” Please tell this girl you aren’t wearing the mask because you think you are ugly,, yeah, anyways. She loves when you take off your mask.

Aaaa!! This took me soooo long, I am sorry 😭 Anyways, this is so short I know but it has lots of characters, hope this makes it up hsjghd I hate myself for writing sooo bad 💔 I was really tired today and I tried to write but ended up literally writing bullshit and I was like 💆‍♀️ I promise I’ll get better but progress is taking foreverrrr 😭😭

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nagito-kissmaeda · 3 years

Text

A Lapse In Judgement - Part 5

CHAPTER ONE: A Dangrous Present CHAPTER TWO: A Past Forgotten CHAPTER THREE: A Foreshadowing CHAPTER FOUR: One Possible Conclusion CHAPTER FIVE: Untethered

Komaeda Nagito x Ultimate Empath!Reader

Summary: Just a normal day at Hope's Peak Contains: she/her pronouns, gitches, blood and gore, rejection Read on AO3

“So. Are you doing it today?” Koizumi asks, giving you a knowing smirk from her desk. It is a good ten minutes into lunchtime and the afternoon sun is cascading in through the open window. It’s a beautiful day, and you would usually be outside if you didnt have more important matters to attend to.

You are halfway through sealing a very fancy envelope with a collection of decorative stickers, but you still manage to shoot Koizumi a glare. Pointedly staring at her left cheekbone instead of into her eyes.

She laughs, “hey, no need to get all feisty with me. I’ve just seen you toiling away at that letter for over a week now, I’m glad you’ve finally finished it.”

You hum, peeling a sunflower shaped sticker from a sticker sheet and affixing it over the back flap of the envelope, “I had a lot of things to say, and I’m not a very good writer.”

“You sure as hell aren’t!” Another voice scoffs from behind you, and you turn to see Saionji sitting on her desk, swinging her feet back and forth. She clears her throat, “An except: my cheeks burn, my stomach twists! ” Her interpretation of your work is offensively overacted, she clutches her chest and bats her eyes, “ When your eyes lock with mine my heart flutters, when your lips form the syllables of my name I-“

Koizumi throws a pencil at her, you are eternally grateful.

“You memorised it?” You hiss, clutching the envelope protectively

“Yeah, duh.” Saionji rolls her eyes, “I read it over your shoulder like three days ago, it was so funny I had to write it down.” She smirks, “I already showed it to a buncha people.”

“Ugh, what the hell , Saionji?” You exclaim, pressing more stickers to the front of the envelope as angrily as someone can manage, “it’s very personal!”

Koizumi sighs, “yeah Hiyoko. That was pretty insensitive of you.”

You hear the beginnings of some classic Saionji fake tears, but force yourself to ignore it. Popping the cap off of a sharpie and inking a name on the front of your envelope. You try to write as neatly as possible, but it’s hard when your hands are shaking.

“So. Who’s it for?” Saionji asks, over her crying fit already. She leans in to take a peak and you hide the name with your forearm, glaring at her again, “What are you so embarrassed about? Is it someone gross?!”

You don’t answer, your glare grows deeper, but Saionji ignores it.

“Oh yuck! Is it Souda? Is it Hanamura?????”

Koizumi clicks her tongue, but a playful smile tugs at her lips, “yeah if it’s Hanamura we might have to disown you.”

“It’s not Hanamura.” You mutter, resting your chin on the palm of your hand, “just stop trying to guess. It’s only making me more nervous.”

Sitting up from her desk, Koizumi comes over and rubs your arm encouragingly, “hey, I’m sure whoever it is will say yes. You’re great, and your talent is really cool.”

You avert your eyes, “my talent isn’t cool, everyone thinks I’m weird.”

“Yeah, iunno, Koizumi-chan.” Saionji says, “I get shivers up my spine whenever she looks at me with her creepy eyes.”

You gesture weakly in Saionji’s direction, “see? People don’t like having their emotions read, it’s invasive and gross.”

“Hey.” Koizumi starts, giving you a soft smile, “look at me.”

Your gaze is intently focussed on her right eyebrow when you say, “I am looking at you.”

She laughs, “ No , look at me.” She points to her eyes, “right here.”

You swallow. Since starting high school you made a valiant effort to avoid using your talent, people always thought you were weird and creepy, it was hard to make friends, “Come on.” She says, placing her hand over yours, “You can trust me.” you take a shaky breath, and meet her eyes.

Protectiveness, warmth, friendship

You feel yourself soften a little, and Koizumi smiles, “okay. You get it now? We’re your friends. Hiyoko and I are going down to the cafeteria, you stay up here and do whatever you need to.” She stands upright and heads to the door, Saionji falling into step beside her, “let us know how it goes.”

Saionji sticks her tongue out, but does follow it up with a quick, “good luck!” before following Koizumi out of the classroom.

Now that you are alone, your heart starts to race. The envelope feels heavy and almost frightening in your hands. This crush of yours has lasted almost a year now, and this is going to be your first attempt to actually do something about it, you’ve never done anything like this before in your life.

You take a deep breath, and pull yourself up from your desk. Knees wobbling as you head over to the desk of Nagito Komaeda, and slip the envelope inside. Saionji would have teased you relentlessly if she knew it was him the love letter was for, but people think you are weird, and people think he is weird. Being the two weird kids in class meant that you spent a lot of time together, group projects that no one wanted to chance his luck with, or that no one wanted to spend multiple classes avoiding your line of sight during. He liked your talent, he trusted you to be respectful and careful of his feelings. Also his hair looked soft.

The letter asked him to meet the sender around the back of the gym after last period. It did not mention you by name. Until then, you were just going to spend the rest of your day completely normally. So you gave Komaeda’s desk one final look and headed back out of the classroom to go meet Koizumi in the cafeteria.

“Oh! Hey!”

You look down the hallway and see Hajime Hinata jogging up to you. You don’t know him particularly well, he sits at the front of the class at the desk by the window. The front row has five desks, the others only have four, Hinata’s desk is out of line with the rest of them. Like it was an afterthought.

“Hello.” You reply, keeping your gaze focussed on his nose instead of his eyes, “How are you?”

He gives you an awkward smile and rubs the back of his neck with a hand. You notice that his uniform looks weird on him, but you can’t place why. It fits, but it looks like it is moving and shifting on his body in ways that are unnatural, you don’t point it out, “I left my lunch in my desk. I’m coming back to get it.”

“Ah.” You say, “do you want me to wait for you?”

Before he has time to answer, you see a familiar figure coming down the hall and you instinctively grab Hinata by the wrist and tug him down to hide behind a row of lockers. You are too distracted, and don’t notice that Hinata’s uniform is black now instead of brown.

“What are you doing?!” Hinata hisses. You cup a hand over his mouth and hold completely still as Komaeda walks past the two of you and into the classroom. You notice that his vest is stained with what looks like gravy, luck related incident, you assume.

Once Komaeda isn’t visible anymore, you let go of Hinata and scramble over to the doorway. Peering around the corner as subtly as you can. He’s taken off his blazer and hung it over the back of his chair, and is in the middle of working his vest up over his head.

Hinata comes up behind you, peering around the corner as well, “What is Komaeda doing?”

“I think he has a spare vest in his desk.” You whisper, “you need to be quiet.”

Your heart is racing in your chest, and your fingers tighten around the doorframe. Komaeda lifts the top of his desk, and his brow furrows when he sees the letter. Gently picking it up and turning it around in his hand. At one point he looks around the room and you have to duck behind the door to make sure he doesn’t notice you. You can barely breathe.

“Wait. What did he just grab?” Hinata asks you, as the two of you lean back out. You don’t reply.

“Oh my god…” Hinata hisses playfully, “someone left a love letter in Komaeda’s desk?”

You’re still focussed on Komaeda’s long fingers as they slowly tear open the envelope, you see your sunflower sticker fluttering down to the ground. Biting your lip, hands shaking, trying to gauge any response.

“Oh my god!” Hinata hisses much less playfully, “ you left a love letter in Komaeda’s desk?!”

“Shh!!” You say, motioning for Hinata to zip it, “I’m watching.”

Komaeda’s eyes are wide as he starts reading, you can see his hands are trembling. Something you’ve written halfway down the page shocks him, he has to go back and read it again to confirm he understood it properly.

“Hmm...that was probably the bit I wrote about how nice his hands are.” You whine nervously, “oh god , I’ve made myself seem like a creep haven’t I?” You whisper, turning back to look at Hinata.

“Komaeda is not the sort to get creeped out.” Hinata mumbles, “I didn’t even know you liked him.”

Your other hand wraps around the doorframe as you lean out a little more, trying to get a better view of Komaeda’s face, “that’s the point of a secret.”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell him. You know your talent would answer the question for you if you used it right?”

You huff, “I don’t want to use it. I want to be normal .”

“Ļ̴͕̳̮̏̊̌͝͠ͅi̷͕͋̇̿̈́͐̉̈̒̆͂̆͘̚͜͝k̵̨̹͍̩͂̎͑̔̏͂́̽͛͋̓͝e̶̦̣͎͕̦͈͉͖͆́̈́̈́̋̓̊̕ ̵̛̛̛̟̩̺͉͛̄̉̈́͗̃m̷̢̢͖͇̣̞̱̮̱͕̥͂̌ĕ̷̺̝?̶̡̞̬̲͕̜̩̪̫̥̙̦̮͇̉̈̈́͘̚͝”

You freeze, so does Komaeda. The whole school comes to a standstill, “what do you mean, like you?”

When you turn to look at Hinata again, he is gone. You blink your eyes, maybe he just ran off? Either way, your attention was brought back into the classroom by a gentle gasp.

Komaeda has a hand clapped over his mouth, chest heaving as he finishes reading the letter.

Your heart is racing, your knees are starting to hurt from crouching around the corner. You wonder if he knows that it was you

It was you

It wa̷̢̨̖̪̥̹̤̼̭͚͈͑͆͑͆͐̈̆̂̒̍̿́͝͝s you

It was you

It waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaā̵̡̪̦̰͚̭̩̼͎̪͈͋͛͗̃̕͜͝͝ͅạ̵̭͎̥̱͎̹̭̺̰͎̈́͐̒̕a̴̹̜̟̺̞̓͆͒͗͝ä̵̟̼̟̥͎͔̯̯̜́̌̈́̿a̵̹͖͍̙͇̘͍͕͙̅̅͊̌̈́̒̃ạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅä̶̡̮͔̹̩̪́̊͒̉̉̕̕͠ă̶̻̓̍̌̚ḁ̵̢̢̢̧̞̱̥̠͕͚̉̋a̴̠͇̻͉̘̐̿͆̄̀̈̀̅̋̅a̷̢̰̙̦̮̘̲̓͝ͅͅa̷̝͖̜̋̈͛̈́̐͌̾̓̃͘s̷̰̻̼̲͓̮̺͌̑̓̃͒̋̏͆̐͌̌̐ ̵̧̙̹̬̞̦̝̓͗͊͌͠ỹ̷̯̯̃́̃̎͋̈́̏̎o̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝u̶̻̳̪̪̻͕̜͜

“Are you alright?” Sensei Yukizome asks.

You blink. Your eyes feel heavy, your brain feels like static. You’re back in class, sitting at your desk. The rest of 77-B has gone quiet, they’re all watching you intently, “I’m...fine.”

Yukizome cocks her head to the side, brows pulled tight with confusion, “Your head hit the desk pretty hard. Are you sure Tsumiki-san doesnt need to have a look at you?”

Not matter how many times you blink, the world never seems to fully come back into focus. You feel sick to your stomach, “What are we doing again?”

“You’re meant to be writing outlines for your practical exams. Descriptions of your strengths and weaknesses, that sort of thing.” She is starting to look very concerned.

You swallow and look down at your page. It’s completely blank, you haven't written anything this whole time, “I havent started…”

When you look over towards the window, your eyes lock on Hinata. He is wearing a white shirt with a green tie. His uniform is completely gone

(Why ạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅre there five desks in the front ro̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝w? Why does our clạ̴̢̗͉̘̰͉̺̹͍͛͐̆̊͐͘͘͝ͅss have an odd number of students when no other do̸̩͉͍̗̯̠̙̬̱̩͔̾̅̊̂̾̿̍̌̓̌͘͝es?)

Your head is pounding, and you can feel a distant tether to someone you cannot see or hear. Aching like a phantom limb. You stand up.

“Something is definitely wrong” Yukizome says, backpeddling from your desk when you suddenly shoot up, “Do you want someone to take you to the sick bay?”

You shake your head, “I’m just going to stand by the window for a second. I’m just feeling a little dizzy.”

She nods slowly, “Alright, but if you don't start feeling better, let me know and i'll call your parents, okay?”

“Sure…”

As you walk over to the window, something makes you glance at Hinata’s paper. Something unspooling the memories in the back of your mind whispers, s̵o̵m̴e̶t̵h̵i̴n̸g̸ ̸i̷s̶ ̵n̴o̸t̸ ̵r̷i̵g̴h̸t̵.̵

Hinata’s paper, which should be a detailed explanation of his talent. Is incomprehensible. A series of jumbled letters and numbers blurring and shifting on the page, like trying to read a book in a dream. Dread seeps inside you, and it becomes a full tidal wave when you look up at the window, and see Hinata is now standing outside. You whirl around and see only the empty space where an extra fifth desk once was, the Hinata inside the classroom is gone.

Ḧ̷̢͓̰̤́̍ḭ̵͎̋̈́̒n̸̩͎͋͐̃̊̑a̸̧͉̻̩͙͗̔̓̚ț̵͎̫͑̈́ḁ̴̛̫̞̫̒ ̴̡͇͙̄̒͛̋w̷̡̮͈̍a̴̧̘͙͌s̷͍̫̫͑̊ ̴̭͎͙̆͑̀͑ņ̷̩̈̌e̸̢̡̧͕͍͆̋̋͊̈v̷̳̼̎̌͐͘ȩ̸̙̱̮͆̂r̸͙̭͔͊̂̈́͘ ̴̧̗̣̠͚̉̏̈́͝͝ẗ̵͍̪́h̵̢̤̏̉ȩ̸̩͔r̴̮͐ē̵̘̰̼̕

Heaving a shaky breath you turn back to the window. You freeze. Eyes locked on the figure lurking down by the tree in the garden, he stands completely still, staring up at you with red eyes that you can feel nothing behind. A maw of darkness chews on you from all sides as your stomach tightens. You’re going to throw up.

The person. (Hinata?) his eyes don’t turn from yours.

nothing nothing nothing nothing

N̸̡̬͕͓̪̝̙̙͙̊͑̎̎̔̎̒͋́͑͜ͅǫ̶̛̗̺̖͊͊͝t̶̼̩̣͔͎̭̜̦͓̂͌͌̓̎͐͆́͜͝ͅḫ̵̢̞̙̯̳͍̼̜̥̰̝̉̈́̀͊͆͐̌͘i̸̡̤͌̓̔̐̂̈́̔̆̇̇̎͌̇ň̴̝̬͔̞̓̔́͛̋́̐̓̾̾͘̕͠ġ̴̢̲̩̼̠͓̗̭̯͍̱̔̈́ ̷̡̳͕͓̗̳͍̣̯̘͚͓̼̠̉̎ń̴͙͚̯̪̤̼̳̹̮̓͛̅̍́̔͒̐̑̏͜͝ó̶̢̪̋͐͋̋͑͐̃̐̀̃͝ͅt̶̢͉̺͕͉̥̽̈́͝h̴̨̨̟̣͇͙̖̉̀i̴̠̲͊͗̌͊̚͘͝ͅn̷̹͒͌͂̕ͅg̷̨͓͔͓͔̹̜̻̙̺͆̽̂͐ ̶̧̛̦̯͍͆͂̈̇̂̇̿͑̐̋n̸̨̧̧͇̼̖̗̗̦͑͆̈́̐̅̓͒̽͂̃̕͝o̴̧̳͎͕̟͒͗̈́̅͑̓́͛͝ẗ̷̨̧̛͍̬͕̫̬̻̰͓̳͗h̷͈̹̻̰̪͍͖͎̿̈́̀͌͌̊̕͜i̵̧̛̫̊̒̈͑̆̈́͘n̷̯̱̓͊̀ģ̶̧̫͇̦̰͕͈̖͓̃͘ ̵̢̨̡̪̪̯͈̾͆̿̃ͅn̵̢̞͚̠̩̦͙͈̰̻̱̩͗͜͜ơ̷̡̲̯̇̽̐t̵͚͓́̓̈́̊̏͌͑̐̋͐̅̈́͘h̶̢̗͈̖͉̪͚͔̏̽̈́i̴̡͍̜͇̗̬̩̺͎͈̐͐n̶̛͕̪̂̽̌̒̃̾̿͌̽g̴̗̲̰͈̜̳̮͙͓̼͍̒̅̂̐͗͋͛͗͜

and just before you bend forward and hurl all over your shoes. His eyes blink once . Bored.

There are stories being told behind your closed eyelids. Stories of death and pain. Your eyes are fluttering and spinning but they wont open, you can't open them. Your talent makes you sick, it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-

“Ah, good. You’re awake”

Komaeda is sitting in a plastic chair to your right. You are covered from your feet to your collarbones in an itchy blanket. The room smells like hand sanitizer.

“Oh.” You whisper, “I’m in the sick bay?”

“Yes. You lost consciousness by the window.” He laughs nervously, “I carried you over. I figured that studying for the practical exam isn't really something I need to worry about. It’s all going to come down to my luck anyway.”

You nod slowly. Still trying to slot the pieces together in your head. What made you pass out again? Dehydration?

The world is swirling, Komaeda reaches a hand out as if to steady you. His face is little more than a blur and you try to grab his hand as a way to ground yourself as the bed below you feels intangible, “Hey…” He whispers, “are you…”

You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing yourself to focus only on the sound of your breathing. When you open your eyes again, Komaeda is still there, but everything else is gone.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his hair is longer and more unruly, the bags under his eyes are deep and purple. The sky behind his head is a shock of red and smoke, “Your hands are shaking.”

When your eyes snap down to where your hands are gripping his. Bile crawls up your throat, your breath is coming quick and sharp. This doesn't make sense, why is this happening? Your head spins and twists and your heart is beating a rapid tattoo in your chest. The hand that should be gripping Komaeda’s, is instead gripping the limp wrist of a woman's hand, a sickening mixture of purple and black blotting its once pale flesh, red fingernails resting on your wrist. Your other hand is gripping a needle and thread, shaking as you are halfway through tugging a length of fishing line through the bleeding stump of Komaeda’s left forearm.

You shriek and scramble backwards, head colliding with what is once again the wall of the school infirmary. Komaeda pulls his hand back, it is his hand again.

“Ah, sorry. I shouldn't have tried to touch you.” He laughs goodnaturedly, “Even someone who confesses their love to me is too disgusted by my filth. I should have known better.” he smiles, “This is why i must decline your affections, you see, for me to dirty you with my touch. It would be a waste.”

You want to comfort him, to pull him into your arms and tell him that his touch does the opposite of disgusting you, but you can't bring yourself to do it. The sound of your heart beating in your ears is thunderous, you can still smell the rotting flesh of the dead woman's hand, still feel the sting of smoke in your eyes.

S̵̟̥̒̕͝o̵̧̯̔͛m̸̢̛͙̈́̋͛͜e̵̛̲͍̰̿̆͜ţ̶̰͐̈͆ͅh̴̟͐̕ḯ̶͓̤̏͝n̶͔͈̼̙͆̑͂̉g̵̩̖̔͊̊ ̸̢͚̆̐ͅi̶̻̋̔̕͝s̶̢̍̚ ̷̧͚̀͌ẁ̵̛̭̬̘̕͝r̶͎̖͈̋̓o̴̯̹̒̈͗̚n̴͙̲̂̽͘g̸͖͍̽̈́ ̷̫̘̠̾̊w̸͎̻̾i̷̳̮̫͊̏̇t̵̛͇̚h̴̤͙͆͗̍ ̷̨͚̹͇̃y̸̲̦̓̉́o̸͚͋̓͊͝ủ̶̹͖̈́.̵͖̔̔͋͘

Then. A realisation.

“Wait. Confess their love to you?”

“The note you left.” His head cocks to the side, “Did you forget? You had written so many kind things about me, I can't even believe half of them.” He sighs and his eyes attempt to meet yours. You stare at his shoulder instead, “I would not want you to waste your affections on me. You can do infinitely better.”

“Are you...rejecting me?”

Komaeda gives you a sad smile. The walls of the sick bay flicker and turn to static behind his head, “Please don’t misunderstand. You are wonderful, that you even confessed to me at all is...outstanding, you have so much to give and you shouldn't waste your love on someone who

is ğ̸̰̫͍̰̥̌̊̌̃͊̾͘͝͠͠o̴̰̊i̷̩͙͖͓͒͐̽̑́̈́̑͝ͅn̷̢̡̼̼̩̘̪͍̼̻̖̙̓̆̂̄̒͊g̸̛̤̼̲͐̏̌͐͊̽͗̀̄̐̓ ̶͎͑͒̋̐͗͂͘͝t̶̨̢͔̝̥̼̤̥̜͎̗͋̑̽̏̍̈͂̎̏͊̚ͅǫ̷̧̻̗̭̜̟̜͎̪̠̭͙͊̈́͛̊̔͘ ̷̳̇̿̀̑̂̂̉̄̓͘͜͝͠d̶̟͎̯͆̏̓̾̿̎̾́͗̓͒͘͠i̴͚̥͕̫͉͇̳̤̍̂͜ͅễ̴̡̛͇̭̤͎̙̙͓̟̞̖̘̓̎͆̀̋̐̕ ̴̥̜̦̬̩̟̪̼̮͔͆͋̋͋̉͜͠ḑ̸̙̙͍͑̅͋̽ỉ̶̛͈͓͚̻͋̅̒e̸̢̧̤̦͚̖̩͗͆͌̾́͂̃̉̊̐̾́͝͝ͅ ̸̧̜̬̲͚̽ͅd̸̛̛̲͊́̔̆̈́̍́̊͊͗̚̕ḯ̶̢̡̗͕̳̭͇̗̫̤͎̮͖̝̃̔̈́̈́̕͘͘͜e̴̪̥̲̖͓̬̹̗̙̽͗̍͑̋̏̆̄̑̆̿̕̚͘͝ ̵͓͓̦̽͒̐́̀̎̇͠d̴̡͋̍̅̽̍̌̄̏͑̈́̃͗̚͘i̴͖̠͈̾̀͂̄̕͘͘͝ę̶̞͐̑̍͒̎̽͗̿̑̇̅͘͝ ̴̪̝̬̂͌̎͗̚d̴̡̛̘͖̊̈́̾͊̌̆͂͛̐̓̏͝i̵̡̩͈̮͇͉͎̯̍̓͌ͅe̸̖͎̥̦̞̺̗͚̍ͅ ̵͍̬̳̞̰͖͍͕̫̥̝̑̋̂͝d̷͇̭͎̯̻͈̜̝̜̗̗͂̋͌͊̀͘ĩ̷̮̰̂̌́͂͗̐̅̕͘̚͝ȩ̸̢̰͓͎̪̤̦̼̣̭̲̫͔͐̍̀͗̈́̾̈̚̕̕ ̷͉͔͈͔͙̖̟̣͙̭͊̅̐̓̈́͛̇̓̾͑̈́́d̶͓̲͍͉̱͕̼̰̥͖͍̥̱͓̂́͑͛͗̈̈̎̍͊̇̿͋̔͠i̵̡͎̠͑̏̈́̿̇̚͝ę̴͇̬͈̫͈͚͓̰̥̝̣̫̑͆͋͑͛̈́͐̓̕̚͜ͅ ̵͉͈̿̈́͛͌̈́͆̓̒d̷͇́̇̂͛i̸̳͎̳̲̙̎͐̐̾͊̔́̈́̉͂̈̕ȇ̸̟̰͂̈́̂̚͜ ̴̝̣͓͕̤͚͕͈͍̻̐̈́̀͆͒͗̋̽͋͠d̸̡̼͈̘̮̪͉̭̯͎͍̪͚̋͛͛̃̀̔̌ͅi̷͚̖̥̫̲͉̩̒͂̓̈́̓̚ẻ̵̡̨̹̞̮̗̦̄͑͐̑̔͆̚ ̷̜̰̖̦̓̽̏͂̓̈́̊͘͠d̸̛̜̞̫͎͕͙͈͋͌̋͌̓i̴̟̱̲͉̟͔̇̑̅̔̃̽̑̑͑͐è̴͍̱̫̱̮͌̆͗̿͆̽̃̋ͅ”

His mouth is still moving like he is speaking real words. But all you can hear is that one word repeated over and over and over. Your heart is racing, you have no idea what is happening. Komaeda is just talking like nothing is wrong, the world is turning to glass out of the corner of your eyes. Breaking and reforming again behind your eyelids.

Komaeda disappears, like he was just erased from existence and you suddenly realise that you are crying. One of the tears catches on your finger, and shimmers in ways that are unnatural. What is happening to you?

There’s a creaking noise on the other side of the room and you scramble backwards on the sick bed as the boy who looks like Hinata comes in through the door. He makes no move to approach you, he stands stiffly by the doorway and watches .

You wipe the tears from your face with the back of your hand, “who are you?! What have you done with Hinata?”

“I have done nothing to Hinata. His fracturing was yours and yours alone.” He says. His voice is familiar. It digs its claws deep inside of you.

“His... fracturing? ” A sob hiccups in your throat, “What are you talking about?”

The boy doesn’t answer.

“Can you please leave me alone? ” You sniffle, wiping away more tears, “I’m having a hard enough day as it is.”

“If it brings you comfort, you will ask Komaeda many more times.” The strange boy says, staring off into the middle distance, “he will say yes on the sixth.”

“Wha- He will…?” You whisper, “How do you know?”

His eyes turn to you and you get a crawling feeling under your skin, like he is looking straight through you, “This world is fabricated, but much of it is based in reality.”

“I...what?” You blink up at him, confused, “fabricated? What are you talking about?”

“A defense mechanism. All in your mind.”

You laugh nervously, “this isn’t a very funny joke…”

“I do not joke.” He continues staring, you refuse to meet his eyes, “use your talent. If you are too afraid to believe me.”

You swallow, “I...I can’t .”

“No. You won’t ” he sighs, disappointed, “a waste of potential, predictable. Boring.”

“Fine. If this world isn’t real, how are you here?” You say, “I doubt I would create someone just to ruin my own illusion.”

“I am not from here. I have been sent to help.” His eyes are empty, his expression unchanging, “Your world is crumbling, and you need to leave it.”

“Nothing is crumbling . What is wrong with you?”

“Your denial is wasting our time. Your mind is trying to make assurances where it should not, trying to put together the pieces of three different puzzles all at once and they just don’t fit.” He takes a few steps forward, eyes still boring into you, “This ideal world you have created is not sustainable, cherry picking the good parts of three separate lives does not result in stability. If you don’t leave here, the walls will collapse around you, and you will die in the rubble.” He reaches a hand out to you, “come with me. We’ll untangle the mess of your memories, then tell me how you feel about staying.”

You are hesitant when you take his hand. The moment feels significant, like a leap into the void. You are surprised at how warm his hand is, for some reason you had expected it to be cold. He doesn't lead you anywhere like you were anticipating, instead he presses his other hand on top of yours and closes his eyes.

The smell hits you like a wall. People always say that scent has a strong connection to memory and a fondness you have never known breathes life into your lungs. It smells like autumn, bitter winds and pumpkin spice. Sandalwood, a hint of cinnamon apple and…

“Komaeda?”

His eyes turn to you, his face tight with nervousness.

“Are you okay?”

He giggles nervously, the sound echoing in the empty classroom, “Oh, me? I’m fine! My concern is what will happen to you if someone walks in and sees us like this.”

When Komaeda says like this , he means sitting together on the windowsill. Not exactly scandalous, but his own perpetual self-loathing has morphed it into something downright sinful.

There’s a brisk wind dancing through the autumn leaves outside the window. Red and orange trapezing through the sky. Komaeda has a thick green scarf wrapped around his neck and his nose is turning pink in the cold. He looks adorable.

Your mouth pulls into a firm line and you clutch your hands together in your lap, “You know i'm not trying to hide you from anyone, right?”

“And that is very kind of you. I’m sure no one would judge you poorly for hiding our relationship.” He smiles warmly, “I am human garbage, after all.”

“Komaeda, I want to tell people.” You say, rotating in place to face him more directly, “You think i confessed my feelings for you six times as a joke?”

“I did consider that at first, but the more i think about it…” He averts his eyes, cheeks turning a little pink, “It does seem like your feelings are...genuine. No matter how misguided.”

You huff and leap up from the windowsill, facing Komaeda with your hands on your hips, “You want proof that i'm not ashamed of you? Fine. I’ll do it!”

“Huh?” Komaeda breathes, “You’ll do what ?”

It is with great purpose that you cross the room over to the blackboard. Grabbing a stick of chalk and writing in big looping letters, Nagito Komaeda and I are DATING , underneath you sign it with your name. You are not about to let this be misconstrued. Komaeda is more important to you than the opinions of your classmates, you are willing to let Saionji tease you for months to come if it means he understands just how much you care. You gesture at the blackboard, “Do you get it now?”

He’s just staring at you, one hand cupped over his mouth, eyes glimmering with the beginnings of tears, and something much warmer underneath, “But...but class is going to start again in 10 minutes and everyone will-”

You cut him off, walking back over to the windowsill and cupping his face in both of your hands. Brushing an errant tear away with your thumb, you smile, “I know . That’s kind of the point.”

He gives you a watery smile, reaching his hand up to interlock his fingers with yours where they rest on your cheek. He is shaking, but it's a good kind of nervous, you can feel it behind his eyes, “I don’t deserve you…”

You laugh and press your lips to his tear stained cheek, “Yes you do.”

Then, almost as quickly as it began. The memory fades, behind Komaeda’s head you watch the sun set and rise over and over, faster and faster. Yellow, orange, blue and then purple keeps crossing Komaeda’s face like someone is tipping over a bucket of paint. He’s still smiling up at you, a hopeful expression frozen in time and you realise with horror that you can no longer feel his skin under your hands.

“No…” you whisper, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair only to find it intangible. A sob cuts loose from your throat.

“A good memory.” A voice says from behind you. That boy who looks like Hinata is standing in the doorway. His hair seems longer and darker, the tips are kissing his jawline. You’d almost forgotten he existed, “I decided it best to start simple. Your mind would not have handled something more intense.”

The sun is still rotating outside the window, light cascading through the classroom and then fading into darkness every few seconds. Like a subway train passing by a station.

“Is this the future?” You ask, voice wavering.

“No. It is the past.” He doesn't give you the time to ask anymore questions, though he can tell that you want to, “The next memory will be difficult. I will not ask if you are ready, because you will not be.”

#this took so long lol #i think three more chapters to go?#next one is gonna be EFFED UP #komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa x reader #nagito komaeda

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politesper-rip · 2 years

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META --- KOIZUMI V. ASAHINA

i saw a post the other day and it’s just really got me in the mikuru/itsuki foils brainrot so i am going to ramble about it.

mikuru is itsuki’s exact opposite--- when i say that i mean mikuru (small). mikuru is childlike, clumsy, she never is able to explain things to kyon, she is a pawn to her organization, and she is a source of jealousy for haruhi (in terms of kyon being attracted to her).

on the other hand itsuki is suave, composed, overexplains even the smallest details, may be the leader of his organization (even if he doesn’t admit it), and in direct opposition to mikuru he encourages kyon to confess to haruhi despite his hinted feelings towards the two of them.

the sigh arc really pushes these two to show off the most extreme versions of the people they are projecting and i just find that extremely fascinating. i know it’s a controversial arc, but genuinely it is one of my favorites in terms of character growth and reveals. sigh puts mikuru at her most vulnerable, unable to reject haruhi’s whims and being thrown about by the storm that is suzumiya. on the other hand, itsuki is at his most... itsuki.

he’s always had this weird queer-coded villain vibe to him and that really shows off when he’s giving kyon stern looks for almost hitting haruhi, when he’s pulling him aside to talk about the fate of the world, and when he’s dressing up all disheveled to to talk to kyon out on that bridge and talk about how he shouldn’t trust mikuru (right after mikuru told kyon to not trust itsuki).

the show/novels are written in kyon’s pov so we always know what he thinks about these two (unless he’s trying to mislead us or lie to himself). but we do actually know for a fact that he believes both of these people have some kind of sex appeal--- objectively speaking kyon finds itsuki and mikuru both attractive and we hear it over and over again in the test. next to him constantly doting over mikuru in his internal monologue i think itsuki is actually the person who gets his appearance described the most. kyon describes him as handsome, someone the ladies must always be after, with a beautiful smile and always wearing nice clothes outside of school. i don’t think that this is really a coincidence. they are both written as forbidden love interests, intentional or not.

mikuru forbidden because it would make haruhi upset and itsuki forbidden because of kyon’s internalized homophobia. this of course causes itsuki to become an object of disgust and ridicule for kyon (constant insults in the narration) because he cannot handle this vibe that itsuki has going on. and... there is another forbidden “love interest” in kyon’s life that itsuki actually does share a lot in common with.

mikuru (big).

she’s someone kyon always swoons over every time she appears. kyon literally says he fell in love with her in her first fucking appearance. it’s probably in a very puppy love/crush kind of way. the way a kid might get a(n unrequited) crush on their teacher. but it is interesting to note how her and itsuki share a lot in common.

secretive, suave, helpful (but not in the way kyon wants them to be), submitting to haruhi’s whims (in a different way from mikuru (small)), a source of exposition, and full of that femme/(queer) homme fatale energy.

just as their theories directly oppose each other, they also directly oppose each other as people. they are fundamentally incompatible and i find that fascinating.

#the post in the tags goes into better detail than i ever could on this but uGH #brain go brrrrr #〈 ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ 〉 : ♙ → study ╱ secrets behind locked doors.

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hxpelessnurse · 3 years

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I work at a liquor store and sometimes I see stuff on the shelf and think “What danganronpa character do I see drinking this shit?” (I also do this for other fandoms/rpc’s I participate in.) So I’m gonna make a list of headcanons on what the cast of DR1 and SDR2 choose as their go-to alcoholic drink. I would add the cast of V3 but I haven’t finished that game yet so I don’t know the characters as much as I know the casts of the first two games. Also most of the cast of UDG are children and shouldn’t drink and I am lazy af. There’s already way too many characters in this series lmao.

Please note that I am basing this off of Japan’s legal drinking age of 20. Though it’s well known that underage drinking isn’t really frowned upon or prosecuted like it is in the States or Canada. Also, I am based in Canada, so prices of alcohol are significantly higher here than they are in other parts of the world because alcohol sales are taxed by the government and controlled by the provincial governments. So if i say a bottle of something is expensive that’s because it is to me - a Canadian. lol.

Under a read more because I don’t wanna stretch everyone’s pages with such a long post.

DR1 Cast

Makoto Naegi: Something light or not so alcohol forward - probably a vodka soda like White Claw (probably lime flavour) or rum and coke cause its sweet and hardly tastes like alcohol at all.

Kyoko Kirigiri: White wine - specifically Chardonnay. She likes the buttery texture and tartness. I could see her drinking sake for this reason too.

Byakuya Togami: Gin Martinis specifically made with Empress 1908. He enjoys the smooth mouth feel and the distinct colour of Empress 1908 gin makes the drink feel more luxurious. It always has to be garnished with edible gold-leaf.

Aoi Asahina: Pina Coladas. The sweetness of the fruit tends to hide the alcohol aftertaste and rum adds its own sweetness to the mix that she finds delicious. Bonus if blue curaçao is added to make it look even more tropical!

Toko Fukawa: Blueberry Tea - a mixed drink that involves a cup of hot orange pekoe tea with an added shot of amaretto and a shot of grand marnier. The resulting drink tastes like blueberries surprisingly! Toko likes the warmth the drink brings.

Genocider Syo: Caesars! (Aka a Bloody Mary as its known as outside of Canada). Tomato juice is earthy and sweet while gin and vodka add their own herbal elements. The added ingredients of worchestershire sauce, tobasco, clam juice add tartness and heat that Genocider enjoys. She prefers the garnish of a celery salted rim and a dill pickle over the traditional celery stick. She also likes them extra spicy!

Yasuhiro Hagakure: Asahi Beer or Sake. He’s a simple man who likes to keep his alcoholic drinks simple too. He prefers to drink when there’s lots of grilled meat to eat alongside.

Sayaka Maizono: Moscato Rose. It’s sweet as hell and pink to boot. It looks super cute and totally fits Sayaka’s cute aesthetic.

Leon Kuwata: Stout Beer. It’s rich and creamy and a little more complex than lagers or ales. Leon likes to be unique and Stouts are interesting and complex. Like him.

Chihiro Fujisaki: Cream Liquor on the rocks. (Think Bailey’s Irish Cream.) The sweet and rich flavour of cream pairs well with the warm spice of Irish whisky. The two flavours contrast, but also blend together well. Chihiro likes it with lots of ice.

Mondo Oowada: This man drinks whiskey neat. No ice, no fancy garnishes. He likes it straight from the bottle. It’s very manly and cool. His preferred brand is Jack Daniels.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I feel like he would be extremely lightweight so he’d probably stick to vodka sodas like White Claw or drinks with lower alcohol content. He is usually the DD because he doesn’t actually like drinking that much.

Hifumi Yamada: Any cooler that has his favourite anime characters on the can. He doesn’t care what the alcohol tastes like he will drink it. If it’s got his waifu on it he’s drinkin’ it.

Celestia Ludenburg: Red wine - preferably Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon. Bonus if the bottle costs more than 50$. She’s got expensive taste after all and she really, really needs to show that off with her alcohol choices.

Sakura Oogami: Sake, plum wine, rice wine. Sakura keeps it rather traditional with her alcohol choices. She prefers the interesting flavours of traditional Japanese beverages but she is also often the DD because she doesn’t drink often.

Mukuro Ikusaba: Vodka. Just straight up vodka. Straight from the bottle. No chase either.

Junko Enoshima: Our queen of despair drinks only the finest of Champagnes. Bonus if it’s gone flat because that just adds to her feelings of despair!

DR2 Cast

Hajime Hinata: He keeps things simple; he really likes Suntory Japanese Whisky on the rocks or vodka and orange juice (aka a Screwdriver). He doesn’t like to make complicated orders because he doesn’t wanna burden the bartender.

Chiaki Nanami: Strawberry Gin Soda! She likes the fruity flavour and the fact that it comes in a can makes it super easy for her to drink while she’s gaming. Though she’s not a big drinker to begin with so it’s not often she chooses an alcoholic beverage.

Nagito Komaeda: Straight Everclear. No but I feel Nagito is pretty easy going and will drink just about anything that gets handed to him. If he has to choose though I could see him drinking Ciroc or Grey Goose vodka. He comes from affluence, so he tends to like the more expensive brands.

Ultimate Imposter: Whatever drink the person he’s impersonating prefers to drink. He’s gotta sell the illusion that he’s really that person, right?

Teruteru Hanamura: He would rather cook with the alcohol rather than drink it. But he doesn’t mind a beer every once in awhile. He also loves to pair the perfect wine with whatever dish he’s making.

Mahiru Koizumi: She is the DD. She refuses to drink alcohol because she hates the taste and she doesn’t like the smell, either. She babysits everyone when they’ve drank too much.

Peko Pekoyama: She doesn’t drink often. But she likes traditional Japanese liquor like sake, plum wine, rice wine, etc. She needs to be in peak condition to protect Fuyuhiko so she will probably only have one drink at most.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: He drinks strong whisky. Preferably Suntory but he isn’t picky. As long as it’s strong and served neat he doesn’t care.

Hiyoko Saionji: She likes the sweetest drinks ever. Fruity cocktails piled high with candy and fruit garnishes. She doesn’t care what kind of alcohol is in them, just as long as it gives her the BIGGEST sugar rush after finishing it.

Ibuki Mioda: Same as Hiyoko. Doesn’t care what alcohol is in it. Just needs to be the sweetest and most extravagant cocktail ever. Not that she needs it.

Mikan Tsumiki: Korean Soju (preferably grape or citrus flavoured), Sake, and Rum based mixed drinks. She’s not a big drinker because she tends to get irrational and overly emotional while drunk. She’s also pretty lightweight.

Nekomaru Nidai: He’s a simple guy. He likes beer and he’ll drink the occasional glass of scotch or whiskey. He likes Canadian Whiskey! He doesn’t drink often because he prefers to be sober so he can help take care of the others. He babysits Akane mostly.

Akane Owari: She shotguns an entire case of beer the moment she arrives at the party. Thus why she needs a babysitter like Nidai.

Gundham Tanaka: Crystal Skull Vodka - specifically Crystal Skull Onyx. Black Vodka is the most hardcore goth shit man. He would LOVE it.

Sonia Nevermind: Sonia is royalty so she has grown up drinking the finest and most expensive wines. But she also really loves a good cognac or brandy. Really she can drink just about anything and she won’t mind. She’s not big on beer or coolers though.

Kazuichi Souda: Cider. Preferably dry apple cider like Strongbow. He hates the taste of beer but he likes the idea of drinking beer. Cider is a more refreshing and less bitter taste that he finds more enjoyable.

Izuru Kamukura: Because he gets bored so easily his drink of choice is constantly changing. He will try any alcohol at least once.

#headcanons #long post #ooc #I spent three days on this lmao

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