#the book is killing me slowly

[lennsart]

Ok ok ok so

I've bought the Zelda Encyclopedia because I am in a hyperfixated rampage about LoZ. And on one hand it's the best thing ever, because special interest is going brrrr.

But ! But.

I've bought in french. Because I... Am french.

And I don't know if the english version has troubles, alright ? But THE FRENCH VERSION IS A BADLY TRANSLATED HELL and I need to rant.

Keep in mind that I didn't study the book. I've skimmed through. And I'm already holding my head in my hands in a dramatic 'losing my mind' posture.

But anyway ! Here's the defendant :

This is the book I'm talking about, and all the pictures that follow come from this book.

Follow me into translation hell !

Note : I actually usually prefer the french translation in Zelda ! They do a good job at translating things that make sense, leaving things as they are when it isn't needed, and I often find the translated characters' names prettier. (Example : Makar, the korok from Wind Waker, is called Dumoria. I have NO IDEA why it changes so much but it sound so much better in my opinion !) So this is not VF hate. This is genuine uncomprehension as to WHY IS THE BOOK LIKE THIS.

Now, you don't need to go far into the book to have a problem with it.

First few pages. Like literally before the actual content of the book. Presentation of the games. Easy enough, right ? Not hard to beta read, RIGHT ?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THE MINISHIP CAP". WHAT DO YOU MEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE THE TITLE IS WRITTEN ON THE PICTURE ABOVE. How did it happen ?? The name doesn't even change in french, help

"Miniship cap" I already want to quit and it's my INTRODUCTION to this book.

We can divide the mistakes of this book in three categories :

- Lore mistake

- Translation mistake

- Wtf mistakes

I would place "Miniship cap" in the WTF category, for obvious reasons. (HOW???)

The first two categories are easily justified : they asked someone to reread the book and the person wasn't very interested/didn't know Zelda well. But it makes the book LIE

Example of lore mistake :

The title here is " The Ancient Temple, marked by the loftwings".

THE L O F T W I N G S.

This is the ancient temple in Twilight Princess. This is supposed to read OCCAS ! SKYWARD SWORD WASN'T EVEN RELEASED YET !! LOFTWINGS DIDN'T EXIST !

Why did this happen ? Well, in french, Loftwings are called "Célestriers" (mix of the words "céleste", celestial, and "destrier", which is apparently the same in english but I've never seen it before, it's a horse usually or an animal you ride). And Occas ? Are called "Célestiens". People that lives in the sky, basically.

So yeah, Célestriers, Célestiens, I SEE the mistake, ok ?

But still. Uncool. Boo.

Now, example of translation mistake :

The first sentence here is a description of a picture, it reads "Aryll is abducted by Helmaroc King on Ganondorf's orders".

Why isn't this shocking to you, english reader ? Because Helmaroc King is the ENGLISH name of the big bird. In french, there are no "roi Helmaroc" ("roi" means king). It has been translated.

But maybe the book doesn't know, right ? IT'S NOT LIKE THE NAME IS WRITTEN ON THE NEXT PAGE, RIGHT ?

THERE. LE ROI CUIRASSE. THIS IS THE BITCH I KNOW ABOUT. I'M LOSING MY MIND

But again, alright, I guess someone didn't think to translate the name. Some characters's names aren't translated (example : french Skull kid is called... Skull kid. I am thankful for that), so maybe they just didn't THINK to check if there was a translation.

Even though. It was on the next page.

AND I WAS GOING TO LET ROI HELMAROC SLIDE. I WAS.

AND THEN I LOOKED AT THE SAME FUCKING PICTURE I TOOK OF THE BOOK.

First thing I underlined, "Mélodie", is a typo of Medli's name in french, which is "Médolie". I get it, it's an anagram, I've read it Mélodie my whole childhood, OK French Zelda Encyclopedia. OK.

BUT "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE" ?? NO.

THE MASTER SWORD IS NOT FUCKING CALLED "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE". MAÎTRESSE IS WHAT YOU CALL YOUR TEACHER WHEN SHE'S A WOMAN AND YOU'RE TEN, OK ?

(Actually, "maître" and its feminization "maîtresse" do mean master. But it's. It feels wrong. It's not the in-game name, and it feels wrong.)

THE MASTER SWORD IS "ÉPÉE DE LÉGENDE", OK ? LEGENDARY SWORD. THERE IS NO ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE.

AT LEAST I HOPE.

Breathing in, breathing out... Ok. A not so important one :

"Les oiseaux" means "the birds", and yes, in english, those cuties are called "little birds" which would be literally "petits oiseaux" in french. (I know, too much vowels, I'm not here to defend my birth language BEAR WITH ME)

But in the VF ? They aren't 'birds'. They are PIOUPS. (Pronounced pyoop, it doesn't mean anything, just mimic the bird's noise)

THEY ARE 'PETITS PIOUPS' ALRIGHT ? AND I LOVE THEM. I'm just. Sad that their name isn't in the book. This is petits pioups erasure.

(After checking, the item they drop is called "plume d'oiseau", so "bird feather". The word "pioup" is just in the description of the item, so... Maybe it's just me. BUT STILL. LET ME CALL THEM PIOUPS IT'S ADORABLE)

And we're not even in my favorite category ! May I introduce :

The what the fuck mistakes

Aka : I can't understand how they let it slide.

Here I want you to read the description of the picture 6.

"Playing the Song of Healing, Link gets his normal appearance back".

Ok, this is probably a description of when Link goes from Deku Scrub back to Hylian, so I am expecting a picture of Link !

Image 6 : WHY IS IT THE CREEPY LINK STATUE.

DID THEY KNOW ABOUT BEN DROWNED ?? WHY IS THE WORST POSSIBLE REPRESENTATION OF LINK IS DESCRIBED WITH "LINK GOES BACK TO NORMAL". NO. NO I AM CALLING MY LAWYER, BOOK, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME.

You know, in a book, there can be translating errors... And, apparently, there also can be "we forgot to fucking translate" errors.

Plural.

IN THE GODDAMN TITLES.

And I studied graphic design, alright. I know, TRUST ME, I know your eyes can get used to the titles and make you miss 'obvious' mistakes.

BUT THIS IS WHY YOU GET SOMEONE TO RE-READ. This is a fucking official book ! That has been published by probably very official publishers, I don't know, I haven't checked !

POURQUOI LE LIVRE EST NUL ? POURQUOI EST-CE QU'IL Y A AUTANT D'ERREURS ? COMMENT EST-CE QUE "MINISHIP CAP" EST ARRIVÉ ? OÙ SONT LES PETITS PIOUPS ? ENGAGEZ-MOI POUR RELIRE LE LIVRE LA PROCHAINE FOIS C'EST PAS POSSIBLE !!

I at least hope some of you laughed watching me losing my mind in french ; I hit the ten images limit, but I'm sure I'll find enough for a part two. I've lost all faith in this book. I'll read it thoroughly just to scream about it on Tumblr.

[*holding a knife towards the book* I won't let anything slide, you hear me ?]

[cryoverlife]

I absolutely love Carter and Zia’s relationship but I also find it hilarious.

Like Rick paired up the guy who was homeschooled and always traveled, who doesn’t have any friends, with the girl who was raised by an organization, isolated from the people her age, and also has no friends.

The only reason either of them know what the words “social interaction” means is because they both probably read the dictionary.

Their form of flirting is being nerds, being sincere, being cute, and stuttering(Carter),

I firmly believe one of them will state a fact and the other will just add on it and it will keep going until Sadie tells them to stop flirting.

And their reaction will be “what?” and then blushing because they didn’t realize they were flirting.

It confuses basically everyone else at the Brooklyn House.

[jupiter-and-teardrops]

and jean moreau breaks my heart yet again

[glittergroovy]

Fuck it I love you - Lana Del Rey

[mysterystew]

Lucy obliviously like liking Lockwood moment #I-don't-even-know-at-this-point

There's only two rooms (four beds) at the Old Sun Inn. Cue Lucy calculating possible roommates:

"There was a heavy silence. I scanned the others, taking in Holly's neat traveling bag, doubtless crammed with body lotions and skin cleansers; George's ominously light backpack, which lacked room for any conceivable change of clothes; Kipps's angular and palely ginger frame, the horrors of which were just hinted at beneath his turtleneck; and Lockwood. To share a room with any of them presented problems."

And Lockwood.

...

Lucy. Luce. I can't help but notice that you have no ill thoughts about Lockwood here compared to everyone else (¬‿¬)

[lurking-latinist]

still messed up over Hornblower: Retribution if you were wondering

(spoilers in tags)

[maskyartist]

This is why they gotta greenlight volume 10. We need to see how they get to live after all this is over

I don’t need them happy. I just need to see them live again…

Aka really wanted to show off my favorite part of the fairytale book and feeling so goddamn emotional tonight :)

[b-blushes]

okay maybe this is so obvious but i think the thing that is so excruciating for me about this show is the inevitability of the story. i've already seen it twice and i'm watching it for the third time and i know that bad things are going to happen to the characters and i don't want them to but they have already happened and they will happen again because the story has already happened. it's already done. it's like i'm watching them in a time loop and wishing for a different outcome and it's never going to *be* different for them they're always going to have to go through this. it's always going to end the same. i'm in the labyrinth.

i love stories i love to get lost in characters in books and tv shows and podcasts i love to decide to be taken through a series of feelings and then move through them i love to watch things unfold and then go back to the start and watch them unfold again and everything has a deeper resonance this time because you know what's going to happen next

[voxblade]

I can't believe you're tagging my Silas Birchtree posts as Zim omg that's really funny thanks

Who the fuck is Silas birch tree?? :d

[firstluvlatespring]

i should just really log off work and tell them i am sick or something, just constant feeling of dejection since morning - i know some of it is internal but i really can't take criticism today 😵‍💫 nobody is vicious but every comment or face or note feels like an attack which i think is a sign to take time off

[six-improbable-things]

So, I never watched the S&B show, despite loving the books, but even I can see how fucking idiotic Netflix's decision is. That show was the #1 show on Netflix for WEEKS after it came out, with both seasons. And it had a massive following and fanbase, and was continually attracting more. And it was actually a GOOD adaptation (based on what I've heard from friends I trust), with the full support of the author behind it (as Ms. Bardugo said in her post), which is something that we rarely ever get these days. There is no possible way that S&B was anything but a positive for Netflix. So the idea that they're cancelling it now is so ridiculous to me it doesn't even make sense. Like someone else said before me, why should we even bother ever getting invested in Netflix shows, especially adaptations? They never last more than 2-3 seasons, and adaptations never get finished.

[lavender-ghosting]

barry is like the shining to me

[rubyintheskywithdiamonds]

friends and foes.

i am writing my capstone project, my final paper, whatever the heck you wanna call it - my last big project to get my bachelors' degree. I am writing it on gender roles/predictions in science fiction, namely that of Doctor Who and Star Trek. If you have any scholarly sources, please send them my way!

[glittergroovy]

Fuck it I love you - Lana Del Rey

[kimmkitsuragi]

it's still sooo funny to me how the party is fighting for their lives in the astral prism and shadowheart is just having her magical girl transformation somewhere out there. lynn jaheira wyll and gale having a few breakdowns while shadowheart is dying her hair for emo reasons. astarion probably helping her

[orchidyoonkook]

I read a 400 page book in under a day. I feel like my old self again.

I had three books on the go.

I’ve never been able to do more than one at a time.

I’ve never been more powerful than right now