#the catharsis will be worth it

[psalacanthea]

The Fall of Arlathan- Chapter 9

A big double-sized (12k words help) chapter of this Solavellan fic, the sequel to my old Schooling Pride. Yes, it exists. I need to actually put them in a series on AO3- i'll try to remember to do that later.

...

“Don’t turn this around on me,” Ellie scolded Solas, not wanting to hear a lecture about how she should keep being a sucker.

He smiled, chagrined, the edges of his eyes crinkling.  His gaze became uncomfortable, but his voice remained even as she glanced away awkwardly.  “If you insist.  But never forget that your kindness was my salvation.”

She brushed that off because she didn’t have the cope.  “Yeah, well…we’ve never had a fight like this before.  He’d cross lines, I’d draw a boundary clearly, and we’d move on.”  Ellie couldn’t find it in her to lie right now.  “And then he’d cross it again.  I just– I thought I was helping him.  He did get better in a lot of ways, but I got arrogant, Solas.  And– and he needed me.”

His denial was quiet, but firm.  “He does not need you. He is possessive.  Those are very different things.”

Ugh, of course he was going to make this entirely about Falon’din and excuse her completely.

Of course.

“No, I mean…I liked that he did,” she admitted firmly, staring at her hands.  “I encouraged it.  When I realized it I tried to wean him off of depending so much on me, but the damage was done.  It was just…from the moment– this is kind of too much to say.”

“I would rather you did,” Solas said quietly.

“I know.  That’s part of what makes it so hard.  I wish you had better boundaries around me,” she muttered.

His voice was low and calm.  “Better?  No.  My boundaries remain intact, very far from any landscape you have yet to wander across.  Explore as you like.”

“Pain,” she muttered, wishing he didn’t make it so easy to talk to him.  That he didn’t feel like a portent, a thing hovering over her ready to drag her back down to those old, painful depths.  “Ever since, Solas, you left…it was like my brain got fixated on people leaving me.  First it was you, then Sebastian, then Cass, a lot of other people…and my mom died like a month after Wren was born.”  She paused, steeled herself.  “He needed me.”  

Ellie exhaled roughly, trying to keep her voice under control, her body.  But it was hard, she could feel herself starting to get tense, trembling.  “He wasn’t going to–”  

Leave me.

She swallowed those words before they could trip up her tongue, her nerves already strained by stress.  Ellie steeled herself and continued.  “No matter what I did he kept coming back.  And I could help him, like I couldn’t...”

It was like bile in her throat, bitter and unwelcome.

“Ellana…”

She sniffed and wiped her eyes impatiently, hating the weakness.  “Tears are just tears, they don’t mean anything.  Listen…I unpacked this all a while ago; this isn’t new, Solas.  I have a really good therapist.  When I go.  It’s just…I figured, hey, I’m helping someone.  Even if it’s a coping thing, it’s not bad, right?”

“Does Falon’din know how you feel?”  Solas asked, smiling sadly at the disbelieving look she gave him.  “Yes, it sounds as if that would be unwise.”

“He hates you enough,” she said quietly.

[rookfeatherrambles]

tonights mood is fantasizing about killing jonathan sims in fun ways. I MUST STRESS I MEAN THE CHARACTER, PEOPLE.

[the-music-maniac]

Reading shin soukoku fanfic is a minefield because for every fic that makes me go "aww Dazai and Akutagawa are moving on from their past" and "Dazai's such a little shit, I love him" there's another fic out there that makes me wanna skin Dazai alive and then dump him in salt

[mariana-oconnor]

Inside me are two wolves. One wants to read The Lies of Locke Lamora again, the other one doesn't want to put the characters (or myself) through the pain again.

[obstinaterixatrix]

also a pal’s wife has started calling me yuri-hakase… my honorary phd in yuri…

[pynkhues]

He really is one of TV's best cryers. Seems like he can do it so easily/has huge emotional access and then he looks so pretty while doing it.

Apart from its overall brilliance, the reunion scene felt like, two beautiful men crying, this was made for me personally.

The fact that he's playing two of the wettest-eyed men on TV simultaneously in Lestat de Lioncourt and Dale Jennings is proof of it tbh!!

And yesss, I have a few asks wanting me to talk about the reunion scene and LOOK, my reply is coming, it just still makes me too insane to talk about, haha.

[bleedeverywhere]

woke up mad close to my shift starting today that’s what crazy rough sex with another man does to a motherfucker

[bookwyrminspiration]

i am sending you virtual brownies and rage room tickets <3

swamp cooler's malfunctioning and I woke up with a headache, time to go break shit <3

[claudiablogger]

some enjoyers truly do think that armand served cunt while directing rehearsal for a lynching that he effectively utilized girl power plotting to kill his boyfriend and her daughter in the cruelest most violent trial possible and that the dolls he propped up to serve as their exhausted immobile bodies are comic show puppets and well ppl can do what they want forever so why not just go watch a comic fucking show then. if that's all one can see in something wouldn't it make sense to seek the real thing out for itself. posting abt armand like hes their favorite character and genuinely not understanding that the reason he sucks isn't only bc he eats people. just watch buffy

[alectoperdita]

WIP Snippet Sunday

From chapter 6 of In bed with the mob. (Yes, I haven't posted chapter 5 yet, but I want to edit them both together since they're the same narrative arc.)

---

No one needed to remind him how stupid and reckless it was to forgo condoms with a man with multiple sexual partners. He didn't need a lecture, least of all from Jounouchi himself. He already knew Jounouchi wasn't solely his, no matter how much he ached for that to be true.

Couldn't he pretend he was for one measly night? One moment?

Seto finally snapped. "Have you really been sleeping around so much that syphilis is a legitimate concern? If we're talking about common STIs, herpes or gonorrhea, hell, even HIV, is a greater concern. Shouldn't I be more worried about getting those from you? By the way, you've already put me at risk of all of those long ago by letting me suck your dick without a condom."

Jounouchi pursed his lips unhappily.

Blood pounded in his ears. Seto couldn't stop himself. He'd drawn verbal blood and he needed to deepen the wound. Though, he couldn't tell if he was hurting Jounouchi or himself more. "I don't presume to tell you how to live your life, Katsuya, but I expected you to have more self-respect than to fuck anything with legs. At least have the decency to be upfront with me from the start, instead of these whiny platitudes after the fact."

Deep down, he always knew they couldn't last. Not forever. Nonetheless, Seto had turned blind eyes and deaf ears to everything and taken the plunge. It was pathetic, but he was willing to take whatever scraps Jounouchi was willing to give him.

Well, at least after this was over, he had a few scorching memories to keep him company on sleepless nights in his own cold and empty bed.

[cocoa-coated-fish]

Inside of me there are two wolves:

One of them desperately loves the blorbos and wants to consume All The ISAT Content

The other knows it's Maybe A Little Triggering for me and it puts me in a funk

[godkilller]

❝ Y'slept in late today, cap'n Aizen. I oughtta check ya for a fever. ❞

@keikakudori

[runawayballista]

rereading my own fiction for the catharsis and folks, it works every time

[churchyardgrim]

honestly. fully. cazador is such a letdown.

like okay he couldn't possibly have been anything else but also. come on. you expect me to believe that this guy has the project management skills to orchestrate something like this? the guy whose main combat strategy is to go "teehee can't hit me" and become mist at the end of his turn? the guy who needs to spend a minimum 16 hours a day gloating or else he starts having conniption fits?? that guy??

man. he's b-tier subvillain material at best. he should be cackling and scheming about three levels down from the real ultimate evil vampire lord. middle manager type ass.

[impossible-rat-babies]

sitting here goofy pool for the 283737 time of zenos killing eyrie. the is no ruin for the both of them—there is merely the cold silence of loneliness when he holds their limp body and they empty eyes staring at the heavens and realizing there is nothing left in the universe now.

[musical-chick-13]

So just like. For grins. I sang something this morning for the express purpose of having fun (<-did not warm up at ALL) and, for some reason, I decided to record myself and see what happened. And you know what, it...it actually sounded. pretty good. Go fucking figure, lmao.