#the code names we had for our secret santa were so funny

[bearbonespdf]

tired but i cant sleep so im postingggggggg

me and my pack (which we call ourselves as mostly a joke) did a secret santa/christmas party a couple days ago! ofc bc i (and a few others) have 0 chill, i got/made everyone a few gifts. when it comes to giving gifts, ESPECIALLY handmade ones, i get... nervous to say the least. but never fear! everyone had really good reactions to the gifts i gave! which im gunna list using "code names", which is lightly unnecessary but fun

Been There Done That: so i got him this tinnyyyyy lil keychain he asked for. its from a small artist we both like, she draws these cute lil girls with fruit themes and then make a moldy version of it! (@/feefal on insta) i also went through a bag of starbursts and gave him the pink and red ones cuz he only likes those and a lavender candle. the best gift, however, was a framed picture of our other friends ass :3 he laughed so fucking hard i was so so so happy he found it funny

Wheezer: i crocheted it a brown and green star crossbody bag! its lined with grey flannel fabric and has a phone pocket. unfortunately the strap was a little too long but i think he's gunna hem it. i also gave him a moon projector and a wasteland baby! hozier cd. it screamed when he saw the cd lol

The Ass: this beloved friend got some of my old lace chokers that i can't wear (aversion to things around my neck), a dog enrichment bowl, and some bracelets i made. i am REALLY proud of these bracelets. he has osdd and has 4 alters including himself (host) so i made 4 bracelets. each ine was specifically made to match how i perceive each alter and has a corresponding playing card charm (ace of hearts, queen of diamonds, king of clubs, and the joker) when i gave him the bracelets he got super excited and hugged me superrrr hard. the joker bracelet has a vivid warm color pallet using chip beads and round brass beads, the staple r 2 tiny silver dragonfly beads i found. the queen of diamonds is a mixture of these gorgeous maroon round beads and obsidian beads with a little bit of gold metal beads. the ace of hearts was almost entirely rose quartz round beads with a heart shaped one in the middle, two oblong opalite beads frame the card charm. finally the king of clubs is garnet and obsidian ship beads with a LOT of misc metal beads and a red evil eye bead.

Bird Brain: OK OK OK OK ok i am SO proud of myself on these gifts cuz im pretty sure they LOVED them. first i gave him a shirt, which is technically from Been There Done That, but we had argued about who git to keep the shirt when he was auctioning it off (i tried to let them have it and they tried to let me have it). They tried to give it back but i guilted him into keeping it :3. second i got him a stuffed lamb. pretty average right? WRONG! i found the exact same lamb stuffie that they had as a child and lost. so ofc i bought it, painstakingly hand washed it for a couple hours (we both have contamination paranoia so i HAD to make it CLEAN), slept with it sitting on my pillow for a few nights until the party (so it wuldnt get lonely in the box) and gave it to him. their reaction scared me for a second, cuz all they said was "it's my lamb" and stared blankly at it for a good few minutes. i realized pretty quickly that it was the opposite of a bad look, so that was a problem solved quickly. around the lambs neck were a couple bracelets i also made, one with bloodstone beads and a black evil eye and the other with purple goldstone beads, obsidian beads, amethyst chips, and a skull charm. the last gift was specifically tailored to their special interest and im SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THINKING OF IT and actually executing it well. i bought a hunting knife with a wooden handle so i culd carve a special lil symbol into it. the knife is called a godkiller knife from the slenderverse series everyman hybrid, it belongs to HABIT. when i tell u he SQUEALED and started stimming so hard i thought theyd fall over /hyp. we're on a trip rn and they brought the knife and lamb so id say i did good? i also actually have a plan to hand make them smth fun soon but he doesnt know what it is so shhhhhh im not saying it here :3

( @yourlocalcorvidcryptid )

Miss(ter) Peregrine: i feel horrible about it but im still not done with his gift. im crocheting him a blanket out of acrylic yarn in the shape of a star (hell evil satan) so i got him some other stuff to make up for it. i gave him some small rocks, magnetic bookmarks, and a green bracelet that matches his eyes all stuffed in an empty pill bottle. i also gave him some stickers and packing tape :) he was pretty chill about everything, he loved the blanket and was fawning over how pretty the bookmarks are so i think he liked it all.

( @pumpkinnsoda )

2D: this motherfucker was my secret santa so i got their ass a LOT. i got him a pair of crocs that have a light blue and beige marble that i knew he'd love cuz hes been talking about wanting crocs forEVER. i also got them 6 weed charms, 2 eggplant charms, and 2 Trolls charms from the Trolls 3 movie, for the sake of humor. additionally i got them weed print socks, which i used to hide the fact that i also got him a new underworks chest binder. he's been super needing an actually good binder so im estatic this one worked. i got them a bag of their favorite chocolate as a fun lil treat too. finally i also crocheted them a star bag! i used yarn they picked out and didnt have time to line it unfortunately :( but i think i made up for it with other stuff!!

Bagel Boys Dundundundun Bagel Boys Dundundundun Bagel Boys Dundundundun With Cream Cheese: SO IM ALSO REALLY PROUD OF ONE SPECIFIC GIFT IN THIS BATCH. i made it a sweater which was not crocheted, unfortunately. i was *shudder in horror* hand sewing a jack-o-lantern face into it. i don't think i did super well, much to my dismay. its ok i can make it up by making them smth else later on. i gave them a tiny little wooden turtle that i found since they really like ninja turtles. i gave it some earring making supplies that it asked for a while back. and lastly, my pride and joy, i got them the official wings of fire guidebook, hardcover. now this book contains 2 of the best things in the WORLD: dragons and world-building. from what ive seen my dearest friend has lost their SHIT over this book. theyve been reading it very slowly so as to savor it. its face when i gave it the book was BEAUTIFUL their jaw was DROPPED

( @astronomical-bagel )

Nyan Cat: ok last one! i gave them a pair of crocs as well, that i had them pick out while we were in the store together. they chose black and got like 4 cute lil charms (that i dont remember). i also gave them a pearl choker with fake blood dripping from it. i wore it to my prom but will never wear it again and i knew theyd LOVE it. i didnt get a chance to make anything for them, but i do eventually wanna crochet them a strawberry bag lined with very gothic fabric, as is their aesthetic LMAO

( @salemsmushroom )

ok thats all :3

[twomoonstwosuns]

the interview.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: smut (18+), swearing, fluff

word count: 4.7k

a/n: guys I'm so sad, this is it before the epilogue. I have many thoughts and feelings that I'll put in a different post but this would not be what it’s become without you so THANK YOU!

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“Hey Poe, it’s me. I just got out of my interview. I think it went well, but…I don’t know. We’ll see. I think I rambled a little bit. Anyway, you’re probably going into your interview now so good luck, I love you, you’re going to do great, and I can’t wait to hear all about it tonight. Love you, bye.”

Tucking your phone back into your bag, you walked along the boardwalk towards the café you were meeting Finn at for lunch. He had texted you saying he got stuck in some traffic and would be a few minutes late. You decided to wait for him outside, the view of the ocean sparkling in the bright sun too enticing to not stop and admire for a bit. 

The interview, at least, hadn’t been a disaster. The job was an entry level position at a small public relations firm looking to expand it’s teams. It was nerve-wracking at first at the beginning, but as you learned more about the company and got into comfortable conversation with your interviewer, you felt more confident. There were a few questions you answered that you felt nerves got the better of you, like four years of knowledge just flew right out the window, and you talked in sentences you weren’t even sure were complete. But the woman interviewing you didn’t say anything and at times seemed almost charmed by it. You could only hope. 

As you stood against the wooden fence separating the edge of the boardwalk from a large span of grass, a part of you could see yourself moving to Los Angeles, enjoying the sun everyday and taking weekly trips to Venice or Santa Monica to spend the day by the beach. It was incredibly tempting. 

But you’d be alone, your friends, family, and boyfriend a thousand miles away. You didn’t know if you could enjoy it without any of them there. 

Sunglasses perched on your reddening nose, the gentle ocean breeze moved your curled hair around your face. He sound of the waves was calming, putting you so far into a daze that you didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching you. 

“I promise, if you move here that view will never get old.”

Finn stood behind you, hands in his pockets as he looked at the ocean. He smiled when you jumped at the sound of his voice bringing you out of your calming trance. He took a step towards you and hugged you tightly, lifting you up off the ground. 

“How are you, nugget?”

“I’m good! I miss you. How are you?”

“Also good. Hungry.”

“Come on, let’s go eat then.”

Finn set you down and you followed him into the café, taking a peek at the menu before ordering and bringing a number plaque over to a table. 

“So, congrats on graduating! You’re a real life working adult now. Or, you will be.”

You gave him an uncertain smile. “Thanks…I’m terrified. I’ve had one job interview and I’m ready to marry rich and jet across the world as a trophy wife.”

Finn chuckled. “You’ll be fine. How’d the job interview go?”

“Okay, I think…they said they’d call me within a day or so if they want me to do a second interview. They’re interviewing a few other people so I might not hear anything until tomorrow or even Monday.”

“I think they call you.”

“You’re just biased,” you teased and Finn smirked and shrugged. 

“Maybe a little.” He sent you a wink and you giggled, his tone teasing but the vote of confidence greatly appreciated nonetheless. The waiter came by with the food, sandwiches for both of you, and set them in front of you. 

“So what’s new with you? I’ve barely talked to you the last few weeks…finals and all…”

“Well, I’ve been seeing a girl who lives up here.”

“Really?” You smiled. “Tell me about her.”

“Her name is Paige, I’ve been seeing her about four and a half months now…”

“Since January?” He nodded. “Poe didn’t mention you were seeing anyone…”

“He doesn’t know. I really, really like her and things have been moving kind of fast and I didn’t want to jinx it.”

“Moving fast isn’t a bad thing…hello, I met Kes after a month of dating and told Poe I loved him after two and a half months.”

“And he knew he loved you when Rey and I met you.”

“See? Poe and I are the king and queen moving fast and look at us! We’re happy!” Finn chuckled. “So, tell me more about her. What’s she like?”

Finn smiled and shook his head. “She’s amazing and beautiful and funny…she went to school for business and accounting but found it boring, so she’s worked tons of odd jobs…like, she worked at Disneyland for a bit, she’s an artist and she’s had her paintings featured in a couple galleries around SoCal…currently she works part time at a bar in Santa Monica and she’s an L.A. tour guide on the weekends.”

You quietly squealed. “Look at that smile on your face! You really like her!”

Finn nodded slowly and took his bottom lip and tucked it under his teeth.

“Can you keep a secret?”

You nodded and Finn grabbed his wallet from his pocket. He pulled out a picture and set it in front of you. The blur of black, grey, and white gave way to a very obvious shape in the middle of the picture. 

“Finn!” You gasped, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. The smile on his face was so wide you were sure it would split his face in half. 

“Ten weeks. Well, she’s twelve weeks now. We wanted to wait until the three month mark to start telling people.” You looked up at him, eyes wide. He looked at the sonogram adoringly. “It was a complete accident, so hopefully she likes me enough to put up with me for the rest of our lives.”

Your eyes watered and you smiled widely. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks, nugget. I’m so…fuck, I’m so excited. Granted, this isn’t the way I wanted to do this…I imagine I’d be married first…”

You smiled softly. “As long as that baby is loved, which I have no doubt that he or she will, then who cares how it happened.”

Finn nodded and grabbed the picture, smiling at it once more before putting it back into his wallet. 

“You’re going to be an amazing dad, Finn,” you said softly, placing your hand on his arm. “And I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend.”

“We’re coming up fourth of July weekend. Poe, Rey, and I rent a cabin on the lake and we spend the long weekend there. You’ll probably be coming so you can meet her then.” You nodded happily, already excited for something happening a month and a half away.

“So, when are you and Poe having kids?” You threw your head back and laughed loudly. “What?! You said you guys move fast!”

You threw one of your chips at him and it bounced off of his chest and onto the floor. 

“Yeah, not that fast! I just finished school, I’m not ready to have a baby!”

“But by Christmas, right?” 

You giggled and threw another chip at him, which he caught and popped into his mouth. Your phone buzzed on the table and you saw an unfamiliar number flashing on your screen. Finn looked at it and raised his eyebrows. 

“That’s an L.A. area code.”

You swallowed hard and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Y/N L/N.”

“Yes, this is…” you said nervously. Finn looked at you with interest.

“Y/N, this is Jyn Erso with Erso PR.”

“Oh, hi…” Finn mouthed ‘who is it?’ at you and you held a finger up. The woman on the other end chuckled warmly. 

“I can tell you’re a little surprised I’m calling you right now.”

“Yeah, a little…I just left a little under two hours ago.”

“Well, I took a closer look at your resume and some of the work in your portfolio and, with your interview earlier today, I wanted to call and offer you the job.”

Your eyes widened and you stumbled over your words. “Wha—wait, really?”

“I know we said we’d call you to set up a second interview but I was very impressed with you today and I think you’d make a great addition to our team.”

“Wow, um…thank you!” You looked at Finn and bit your lip. “Can I…could I think about it?”

“Of course you can. I know you’re coming from quite a ways away and have a lot of factors to consider, so please take a few days to think about it. The number I’m calling from is my office number, please feel free to call it if you have any questions.”

“I will. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Have a good day and a safe flight home.”

You hung up the call and looked at Finn, your face showing a disbelieving smile. 

“I got the job.”

“Damn, congratulations!” You didn’t, couldn’t, say anything. You were still in a little bit of shock from receiving that phone call. “Or not…?”

“I….I don’t know! I wasn’t expecting this!” You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms in front of you and looking at Finn. “What do I do?”

“Well, you obviously didn’t say yes…did they say you could think about it?” You nodded. “Then you think about it.”

You sighed. “This job…there’s so many opportunities for growth. It’s the kind of job that could kickstart by career. Honestly, I’d be stupid not to take it.”

“But there’s a lot of factors you have to consider.”

“Exactly…I don’t know what to do.” You looked up at Finn. “What do I do?”

Finn sighed and finished off his sandwich, wiping his hands and tossing the napkin in the basket. 

“I wish I could tell you to just take it, but it’s not that easy.”

You exhaled sharply and ran a hand through your hair. 

“No, it’s not.”

》 》 》

The job offer was in the back of your mind the rest of your lunch with Finn and didn’t fully sink in until you were on your way to the airport. You spent the two and a half hour plane ride going through every pro you could think of: the job itself, working and building your career, a new city with lots of opportunities, and sunshine and warmth everyday. But there were also the cons: moving expenses, finding an apartment you could actually afford that was close to work, and navigating a new city. Not to mention your friends and family would be a thousand miles away. 

Poe would be a thousand miles away. 

You walked off the plane and drove home still undecided. Even the drive home couldn’t help you come to a decision. You were much too excited to see Poe and hear about his interview. He had texted you when you landed that he was finishing up with dinner and insisted on waiting for you to get there to eat, but you encouraged him to go ahead without you. Your stomach felt twisted with nerves and there was no room for food at that moment. 

You walked into Poe’s apartment and was immediately greeted by Beebs. The smell of garlic and other spices was intoxicating and you followed it to the kitchen where Poe was dishing it up into containers for you to eat later. 

“Hey!” He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, walking over and pecking your lips quickly before putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. “How as your flight?”

“Good,” you said, dropping your stuff and taking off your shoes. “Little turbulent, but fine.”

Poe smiled and came around the counter, leaning against it and crossing his arms. You could hardly contain the smile on your face.

“So?”

Poe smiled widely. “I got the job.”

“You got it?!” You exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you!”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe it…I’ve been pinching myself making sure it was real all day. After all the sabotage from Hux and our secret relationship, Leia really stuck her neck out for me to get this job.” You smiled proudly. “This is just…the best fucking day.”

The smile on his face reached his eyes, which shone brightly with pure happiness. “I’m so, so happy for you, Poe. You deserve this. You’re an amazing teacher and you’re going to make an amazing head of the department. Your department.”

“I haven’t accepted the job yet. I wanted to talk to you about it, especially because you just had a job interview yourself. Which, speaking of, how did it go?”

“I actually got the job too.”

“You did?! Congrats!”

“Thanks…but I’m not going to take it.”

Poe’s smile disappeared. “You’re not?”

You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want it.”

“But raved about interviewing for this job. It’s what you’ve been talking about for weeks. You were so excited and now you got it.”

“And you got yours.”

“Babe, I don’t want you to feel like I’m making you choose between me and a job—“

“You’re not,” you stressed, taking a step towards him. “This is my decision. I am choosing you over the job and I’m perfectly okay with it. I’m just starting to job hunt and if I take the first job I’m offered, I can’t build up my interview skills and I won’t know what else is out there. What if I find something better? My gut is telling me this is the right move, so I’m doing it.”

“Have you thought this all the way through? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I have thought about it. I talked to Finn earlier at lunch after they called me and did nothing but think about it while I was waiting for my flight and on the airplane. I was still undecided up until you told me you got your dream job, the one you’ve been talking about for months and months.” You sighed and put your hands on his chest. “You almost sacrificed getting this job to protect me…to protect us. Now you’ve got the job and all I want to be here to hear all about it at the end of the day. And I can’t do that if I’m in California."

Poe gave you a look of uncertainty and you smiled softly. “I love you. So much. We did not fight this hard for our relationship just to do long distance. This is what I truly want.”

Poe nodded and returned your smile. “As long as it’s what you want.”

“It is.”

Silence fell over you for a moment before your delighted squeals pierced the air. Poe had suddenly grabbed your waist, picking you up and spinning you around. Your arms went around his neck and he kissed the spot where your neck met your shoulder before looking at you.

“I got the job.” He smiled and you put your hands on his cheeks.

“You got the damn job.”

You pulled his lips to yours, the two pairs moving passionately together. After months and months of uncertainty and secrecy, things were finally going your way. 

“Do you want to go get a drink to celebrate?”

You smiled suggestively and shook your head. “Maybe tomorrow. Tonight…I want to celebrate with you. Alone. Naked.”

He smirked and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he quickly made his way to his bedroom, his lips connecting with yours once again. He nearly dropped you on the bed in his excitement and you sat up as he got on the bed next to you. You moved to straddle his lap and your kisses grew hotter, the passion just as intense but the desire for each other burning brighter as you ground your hips against his. You grabbed your shirt and brought it up over your head, Poe leaning in and kissing your chest before you could toss it aside. His dark hair was messy from your hands and became more disheveled when you yanked his shirt off. 

He smirked and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he quickly made his way to his bedroom, his lips connecting with yours once again. He nearly dropped you on the bed in his excitement and you sat up as he got on the bed next to you. You moved to straddle his lap and your kisses grew hotter, the passion just as intense but the desire for each other burning brighter as you ground your hips against his. You grabbed your shirt and brought it up over your head, Poe leaning in and kissing your chest before you could toss it aside. His dark hair was messy from your hands and became more disheveled when you yanked his shirt off. 

“You’re sexy,” you said as you ran your hands over his chest. He smirked and reached for the buttons of your dress pants. 

“You’re fucking sexy,” he retorted, dipping his fingers into your underwear and immediately finding your clit. Your mouth opened slightly and he wrapped his arm around your waist and started to lay you down on the bed.

“No, wait!”

Poe froze and you pushed him back to his position on the bed, his eyebrow cocked with curiosity. 

“You want to be on top?”

You smirked mischievously and grabbed his wrist, removing his fingers from your pussy. You brought them to your mouth and gave them a quick suck before moving down his lap and further down the bed, bringing his pants down with you. Kissing his stomach, your fingers dipped under the band of his briefs. He was already hard and you wasted no time removing his briefs and wrapping your hand around him. Poe let out a soft sigh of approval as you pumped him slowly. You swirled your tongue lightly around the tip and Poe let out a sound between a moan and a whimper with a very quiet plea falling from his lips. 

“I’m sorry,” you giggled. “What was that?”

He swallowed hard, his body ringing with want. “Please.”

You smiled up at him and wrapped your lips around him, taking him in your mouth inch by inch. His head fell back against the pillows, closing for just a minute before looking back down at you. He gathered your hair back so it was out of your face, biting his lip and watching your head bob as you sucked him off. A quiet ‘fuck’ left his lips and you released him from your mouth, your hand pumping him quickly and your tongue found the base of his cock. You ran your tongue slowly, teasingly up the length of him before taking him in your mouth again. Your hand and mouth worked in tandem, bringing him closer and closer to the edge each time he watched your cheeks hollow around him. 

But Poe wasn’t ready to be done quite yet.

“G—fuck….get up here.”

You ignored him, sliding your mouth all the way down his length until he touched back of your throat. The groan that came from him came deep from within him and it took all his strength to tug on your hair again instead of giving into the immense pleasure you were giving him and coming too soon. 

“Get up here. Now.”

You let him go with a pop, crawling up into his lap again. “Mmm, bossy. I like it.”

He smirked as you grabbed him again to line him up with your entrance. “Another day, sweetheart.”

You bit your lip and nodded as you sunk down on him slowly, a soft groan leaving your lips as he filled you all the way up. He attached his lips to your neck, his teeth leaving little love bites along your collarbone as you grinded against him. Your hand came back up to his hair, tugging the inky strands at the base of his neck and he quietly moaned at the mix of pain and pleasure. 

“F—ohhh…fuck, baby…” your voice was breathy, a sound Poe could listen to forever. The way you called him ‘baby’, even in the throes of pleasure, tugged on his heartstrings a little bit. One hand splayed across your back, the ends of your hair threading between his fingers. The other hand rested on your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as each shot of pleasure hit deep in your stomachs. 

Poe’s lips traveled down to your chest and attached to your breast, sucking small marks onto your skin. A symphony of sounds filled the room: the sound of skin slapping against skin, yours and his moans of pleasure, and his name tumbling past your lips with a slew of expletives. Your hand found his headboard, grabbing it to use as leverage and support as your body was weakened by pleasure.

He kissed up your neck and found your lips once again, his tongue invading your mouth and tangling with yours. You moved faster, your body becoming slick with exertion. You struggled to kiss him back, your quick movements making you nearly gasp for breath. You rode him hard, the both of you chasing the high you wanted so badly. 

You whimpered as you the burn in your belly grew hotter, the mind-blowing orgasm you always got with Poe building. Poe felt the same, having used a great deal of strength to hold off so he could give you the same kind of ecstasy you were giving him. Your body tensed and you clenched around him as his cock found that spot that drove you absolutely wild. 

“Come for me, baby…” Poe’s voice was also breathless but still held the tone of finality, like he was commanding you. The idea alone spurred you on further and his hands helped you slam yourself down onto his cock, your body movements becoming sloppy as you started to lose control. “Come on baby, that’s it.”

His thumb found your clit and he rubbed it quickly, the sudden addition of stimulation making your body twitch and send you over the edge. You came hard, your body shaking in his hands and a loud moan coming from deep within your throat as the iron struck white hot in your lower stomach. He held you still and thrust up into you and your hand shook the headboard, making it loudly knock against the wall. Poe gritted his teeth and his head fell back as he came, spurt after spurt of his release filling you up. You both slowed, the intensity of your orgasms making you fight to catch your breath like you just ran a marathon. Your head fell against his and he presses his lips to whatever part of your face that was closest to him. 

“You…you ride me so well.”

You let out a breathless laugh, allowing Poe to put both arms around you and bring you down on top of him as he laid back against his pillows. He rubbed your back slowly, neither of you bothering to move. His softening cock stayed nestled inside you as the both of you catching your breath in the afterglow.

“You know, I was thinking?” Poe asked after several minutes of comfortable silence. You hummed in acknowledgement. “You should move in with me.”

You looked up at him, your fingers running along the silver chain around his neck. 

“You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“It might be…but I also know this is what I want.”

He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering. 

“We went on our first date on Valentine’s Day but we’ve technically been dating since Halloween,” he said, the memories making you smile. “I know it was supposed to be just a one time hookup and then after that just casual sex but it ended up being a lot of talking. We were basically on dates, we just did sex first and got to know each other afterwards. So, in my mind, we’ve been together for about seven and a half months.”

He ran his knuckle across your cheek and you didn’t know if your cheeks were still flushed from sex or  if they were flushing from the way he was looking at you - with pure love and adoration. 

“If it’s too soon for you, it’s okay. I do want to move in with you, but we can wait until you’re ready. Just the fact that you’ll be close by instead of hours and hours and hours away is good for me.”

You took in every word he said. The whole point of your plan to decline the job offer was to be with Poe, and moving in with him would mean being with him all the time. There was a sliver of doubt that crossed your mind, that maybe you’d get annoyed with each other after living together for awhile and learning each other’s daily quirks. 

“What do you see? When you think about us moving in together?”

Poe smiled softly. He knew exactly what kind of house he wanted to move into someday. Since he imagined having a kid or two, he wanted a basement or an extra room to be used as a playroom. He wanted a big backyard with a large deck and fire pit for late summer nights. He’d thought about it plenty, imagined his future home many many times before you, but it became so much more clear to him after you told him you loved him. Poe had been thinking of you moving in since before graduation, but held off saying anything because of your job interview. He didn’t want you to feel pressured if you had gotten the job…like you had to give up the opportunity because you were moving. 

He wanted all that with you, but he wouldn’t sacrifice your future to make his come true.

“Well…” He started, making sure to word things carefully so he wouldn’t scare you with how much he’d thought this through. “For now, we’d find a bigger apartment or a townhouse to rent…somewhere where there’s enough space for all of your things as well as mine…I think we’ve seen enough of the inside of this apartment.” You laughed lightly and nodded. “Maybe find one with an extra room we can turn into an office for us to work in. Eventually I’d like to buy a house, but I think that’s a few years away still.”

Though Poe was sparing you details, you could tell he’d been put a lot of thought into it. You didn’t blame him, he was in his early thirties and wanting to start settling down and building a life. You were still young, twenty-two with all the adventures of your twenties waiting for you…but you couldn’t imagine doing any of them without Poe. Navigating your way into the world post-education was going to be difficult. Nothing is promised. But having a place of your own to come home to with someone you loved, where you could relax and unwind and have that feeling of comfort and safety…you wanted that. 

“That’s just what I’ve been thinking. We certainly don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” His voice brought you back from our own thoughts and you nodded slowly and continued to play with his necklace. 

“You know I was talking to Finn earlier about how we move fast but everything’s worked out pretty good so far.” You shrugged, biting back the wide smile that was threatening to take over your face. “I don’t see why we should stop now.”

A smile slowly spread across Poe’s face. “Really?”

You nodded and sat up a little bit so you were hovering over him. 

“Let’s start looking. See what we find. In the meantime…”

“You’ll move in with me?” He asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store. You smiled widely. 

“I would love to move in.” Poe leaned up and kissed your lips squarely and surely. “I can leave now, start packing…”

“Oh no,” Poe smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows. “You’re not going anywhere. Tonight, we celebrate.”

He rolled you over onto your back, never separating from you and burying his face in your neck and kissing it all over. Your laughter filled the room and you kissed him passionately, the room soon filling with different noises of pure happiness. 

You couldn’t wait to start your future with him. 

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[heyyyharry]

Harry thinks Y/N is his secret Santa

(A Flatmate Christmas Special!)

Word count: 3.3k

This takes place before the flashbacks in the Christmas special in book 2 :)

Merry late Christmas ho ho ho 😂

.

“Why are you guys doing Secret Santa a whole week before Christmas?”

“Most of us will go home for Christmas so we want to do it early,” Harry whispered back to Y/N so everyone at this long table couldn’t hear them. “Fyi, you’re looking extremely nervous. Relax, they won’t bite.”

Despite what he’d just said, Harry knew it wasn’t easy for her to sit there with his friends and have Layla give her the kind of look that he would only see in his nightmares.

“Yes, Layla?” Louis said once he'd finished explaining the rules.

Layla lowered her hand, still glaring at poor Y/N. “What is Harry’s girlfriend doing here?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Harry blurted, making Layla scoff.

“Then she has more reasons to not be here.”

“She’s here because I want her here. Please shut up.”

Everyone was shocked by what Harry had just said. Even Harry himself could not believe he would live to say that to Layla. His mouth clamped shut as he thought his life would end right there at that table, but Layla was too appalled to even say a word let alone hurt him. Well, at least Y/N seemed proud of him. He felt like a hero.

“The more the merrier!” Niall exclaimed while rubbing Layla’s back to calm her down. “Why don’t we get to my favourite part. Lou?”

“Oh, yes!” Louis chuckled nervously as he turned around and pulled a Santa hat out of his bag. “So now, I will give the hat to each of you. There are eight pieces of paper, each with one of our names. You will close your eyes and draw a name, if it’s yours, take another one and put your name back into the hat. Got it?”

“He’s talking to you, dumbass.” Layla shot Y/N a glare and the poor girl hurriedly nodded her head.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s a dick,” Harry said, making her smile. She seemed less nervous than before, which also made him less nervous.

Louis told Y/N to go first and handed the hat to her. Harry studied Y/N's expression as she read the name on the piece of paper before putting it into her pocket. She seemed indifferent so it couldn’t be him, right? Or maybe she was playing cool so nobody would know.

“Harry!”

Harry blinked fast. Everyone was staring at him.

“It’s your turn," Y/N said, giving him the hat.

He could hear Layla curse him under her breath for taking so much time but he decided to ignore her and closed his eyes to draw a name.

Please be Y/N. Please be Y/N. Please be—

Trix.

His smile dropped as he put his paper away. Giving the hat to Niall, he turned back to look at Y/N, but she was talking to Louis and wasn’t paying attention to him. A part of him was sad that she didn’t seem to care who he got; another part of him was also sad because he didn’t get her.

He didn’t want to sound ungrateful. Everyone would kill to get Trix because Trix got excited about anything. She would love everything you gave her. The hardest person to please would be Layla, but she was someone else’s business, not him. Thank God.

Still, he really wanted Y/N.

“Who did you get?” he asked her when they walked out of the cafe after saying goodbye to their friends.

She seemed chilled so it probably wasn’t Layla. But there were five people left, himself included, who was it?! He really hated second-guessing.

“You know I can’t tell you.”

That was the response he’d expected but not what he wanted to hear.

“Is it Niall?” he tried anyway, thinking he would get the answer based on how she reacted, but Y/N kept that same mischievous smirk on her face and he hated to admit how much it turned him on right now.

“It’d be so funny if you got Layla,” he tried again, adding a nervous laugh, but still no luck for him as her expression stayed the same. “It's not Liam, is it? He already has everything so good luck finding a good present.”

She didn’t even look at him and just kept on walking.

When they stopped at a red light, Harry blurted out, “it’s me, right?”

This time, she glanced up at him.

He tried to look for a clue in that stare she was giving him, and maybe he’d been looking too much into it that he believed he might have got the answer.

“Fine,” she said when the pedestrian light turned green and everyone crossed the road except for them. “I’ll tell you my person if you tell me yours. If I have to break the rule then so do you.”

There’s no way I'm gonna tell her—

“I got Trix.”

Fucking dumbass, said the voice inside his head but he ignored it as always.

“Now, tell me yours,” he said, looking hopeful.

As the corners of her lips turned up, Y/N took a deep breath, tiptoed and leaned in closer. His heart was pounding so hard and fast that he feared it might jump out of his chest and start sprinting across the road. If she said it was him, he might—

“No.”

“What?” His smile dropped in an instant. “But—”

Y/N didn’t wait for him to finish and just walked straight ahead as the light turned green for the second time. He hurriedly chased after her, shouting, “I’m very angry at you!”

But goddammit! How was he still turned on?

.

.

.

“Go to the mall with me.”

“Why?”

Harry sat up on the couch, raising an eyebrow at his flatmate who was already putting on her coat.

He didn’t want to sound crazy but he’d spent the entire day analysing every word she’d said to him to figure out whose name she’d drawn. He could’ve spent all that time trying to come up with the perfect Christmas present for Trix. But sorry Trix, I hope you love snow globes...

“I need your help with the Secret Santa thing since you’re a guy.”

“Ha! Your person is a guy!”

“Congratulations, you eliminated Layla,” Y/N said with the most underwhelming tone as she pointed to the door. “Now can we go?”

He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I hate you.”

If only he could really hate her.

.

.

.

Christmas shopping was the worst! Going to the mall at this time of the year was no different from suicide, but Harry kept telling himself he was doing this for Y/N, and possibly himself too.

It made sense right? If it wasn’t him, she would’ve told him already. It’d be easier for her to find the perfect present for this person with his help since he knew what his friends liked and she barely knew them. Y/N was a smart girl. She knew what she was doing.

“What would you want for Christmas?”

“Me?" He flinched. "Why are you asking me?”

“Because you are a male?”

“Why me specifically?”

“You’re my flatmate! It’d be weird if I asked Niall or Lou or Liam, right?”

He didn’t believe her, but if she knew he’d cracked the code, she might not trust him to go shopping with her anymore. He had to play dumb. It was the only way.

“What are you giving Trix anyway?” she asked as they kept on walking aimlessly ahead.

“A snow globe.”

His answer made her cringe. “That’s lame. Would you get that for me if you were my Secret Santa?”

Of course not! You’re different!

“Why? Do you prefer having me as your Secret Santa?”

“I’m indifferent.” She gave a shrug and he smirked.

“Yeah right.”

As expected, she said nothing and changed the subject, “where the hell are we anyway?! I need a map.”

As Y/N went on and on about how crowded the mall was and she couldn’t see anything but people, Harry stood there, gazing at her.

He had always hated those cheesy scenes in movies where the main character looked at the person he or she loved and everything started moving in slow motion, the noises were cancelled out and the background was blurred as if they were the only two people in the room. But ever since he discovered his feelings for Y/N, he’d been just like one of those lovesick characters.

“Harry?”

The voice pulled him right out of his thoughts. The girl didn’t wait for him to react and just pulled him in for a hug then grabbed his face to shove her tongue into his mouth. He instantly pushed her away, horrified.

“What?!” She scoffed as if she hadn’t just sexually assaulted him. He didn’t even know h—Oh wait.

“Penny?”

“You do remember me,” Penny said with a smirk, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

Of course he remembered her. She was one of the best sex he’d ever had.

No, no, no, no, no! You do not get to be a whore around Y/N! Get your shit together! said the voice inside his head as he frantically looked around. Wait, where’s Y/N?!

“I gotta go, Penny. Nice shoes!”

Penny immediately grabbed his hand. “You can’t kiss and run, love.”

“I didn’t kiss you...you—”

“Shh!” Penny put a finger to his lips, taking a step forward so their lips were almost touching but just barely. “I’ve missed you,” she murmured, batting her eyelashes at him. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Can I see you tonight?”

If this was a couple of months ago, he would say yes or even take her back to his place right now. But the new and improved Harry, the person he wanted to become for Y/N, would have to decline.

“I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Surprised and confused, Penny raised an eyebrow. “How about tomorrow night?”

“No, I mean...not...ever,” he said cautiously before removing her hands from his shoulders and taking a step back.

He wasn’t going to explain anything, but then he remembered how insecure Penny could get. After every hook up with him, she would ask him if he thought she was pretty and she would continue asking even though the answer was ‘yes’ every time. He couldn’t hurt her feelings now. If he did that, he didn’t deserve Y/N.

“You’re a great girl,” he said as Penny was about to leave. “But...I’m having a...thing with this girl and...um...I can’t be with anyone else...because of her.”

“A thing? Like...a relationship?”

“No.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I don’t do relationships. It’s just…this thing um...I don’t want to be with anyone else but her.”

“So like a relationship?”

“No!”

“Do you want her to be with anyone else?”

“Of course not!” As he instantly realised how defensive that sounded, he cleared his throat and lowered his voice, “I want to be with her and I want her to be with me. Like...just the two of us. I-I want to be the only person she kisses, the only person who gets to hold her hand, the first thing that comes to her mind when she wakes up, but...I don’t want to be her boyfriend.”

I don’t know why I'm telling you this but it feels good to say it aloud...

“Okay, I get it,” Penny said with a big smile. “Well, good luck with your non-relationship thing. Have a merry Christmas with your non-girlfriend.”

Harry didn’t know how to respond to that so he just waved goodbye and watched Penny disappear in the ocean of shoppers.

That was embarrassing, he thought. But now he had to find his non-girlfriend and get the fuck out of this living hell.

.

.

.

After wandering around on his own for nearly half an hour, Harry finally spotted Y/N in one of the crowded fashion stores. He was about to go in with her but then he saw her grab a blue scarf and wrap it around her neck.

Thinking no one was watching, his flatmate stood in front of a mirror and started smiling at her reflection while posing like she was doing a photoshoot for Vogue. It was so adorably hilarious that he could not let himself interrupt her. He decided to wait outside.

Y/N took off the scarf and stared at it for a long moment before she made up her mind and brought it to the checkout counter.

Harry's heart fluttered as he stood there, grinning like a fool while imagining himself wearing the scarf everywhere he went.

Gosh, she got me a scarf. That’s so thoughtful and intimate. I cannot believe it.

“There you are!”

He almost jumped when he heard her voice, and before he knew it, she was standing in front of him.

“Sorry.” Harry cleared his throat. “I was distracted by a man dressed like an elf.”

“Were you busy shoving your tongue in the elf’s mouth too?”

Shit, she saw the kiss.

“It’s not what it looked like.”

“Whatever. Let’s get out of here before I have a panic attack.”

“Hold on!” He grabbed her wrist, pointing to the bag she was holding. “What’s that? Did you buy something already?”

Y/N tilted her head and squinted her eyes at him. “I’m not showing you the present Harry.”

“Right, right.” He nodded fast but couldn’t stop smiling. “Whatever it is, I’m sure the person who receives it will love it.”

And might or might not be wearing it everywhere he goes, even the shower.

“You’re acting weird,” she said, lifting an eyebrow. “Are we leaving now or do you have another tongue appointment?”

“Okay, I did not kiss that girl. She kissed me.”

“Sure.”

“Stop it, you don’t believe me!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do not ‘uh-huh’ me like that! Y/N!” he raised his voice, pushing his way through the crowd and chasing after her.

.

.

.

“A snow globe?! Oh my god, how did you know I've always wanted one?! You are the best Secret Santa ever!”

Everyone rolled their eyes as Trix hugged Harry while squealing and giggling like she’d just won the lottery. Before Trix could begin with her thank you speech and start praising Harry for being a great friend, Layla raised her hand and demanded to see her present.

Niall wasted no time to put a huge box on the table, causing everyone to ‘wow’ed, and Layla to grip her chest as if her heart was about to burst with happiness.

“This better be LV or Gucci!” she said and quickly unwrapped her present. To her disappointment, it wasn't neither. "It’s...another box.”

Niall stayed silent as Layla started unwrapping the second box.

“And...another box?! Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t you fucking dare film this, Louis!”

“I’m not gonna post it!”

“You got two boxes! That’s so cool!”

“Shut up, Trix!” Layla grumbled before shooting Niall another glare and taking a deep breath. Everyone was impatiently waiting for her to unwrap the third box...and the fourth...and the fifth...and the sixth...and…

“A necklace.”

“Surprise!!!” Niall cheered, but the look on Layla’s face shut him up in an instant.

“Is Niall going to die?” Y/N whispered, making Harry laugh.

“Layla won’t hurt Niall,” he said, and she sighed in relief.

“Good. He can’t die before he opens my present.”

Harry turned paralyzed right as he heard those words. Everyone was laughing at Layla who was hitting Niall with the biggest box even after thanking him for the necklace, but Harry was just sitting there with a blank face.

He didn’t even react when Niall pulled out the scarf from the box Y/N had wrapped herself last night. And he didn’t react when Niall said how much he loved it and that it was the most thoughtful gift he'd ever received.

Harry knew Y/N had never said the scarf was for him. He had come up with all of that himself, but he couldn’t help it. He was mad at her.

“Ugh, I want the mug Layla got you,” she said as they walked home together. London got more crowded at night which was why she was walking so close to him now. If he hadn’t been mad at her, he would’ve been over the moon.

Y/N was ignorant of his attitude and just kept on talking. “Thriller books aren’t for me. But don’t tell Lou, okay? I’m sure this book is great, just not for me.”

He didn’t say a word when she put the book back into her bag. It was then that she realised he’d been quiet for a reason.

“What’s wrong, Harry?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking?” She looked thoughtfully at him, smiling. “Is it about the scarf?”

“No.”

Y/N snorted at his short reply.

What’s so funny?! I’m mad at you, Y/N!

“Did you think it was for you?” she asked.

Yes?!

“No.”

Y/N didn’t say anything else as the two of them continued walking in silence. It was getting colder and Harry didn’t want to be petty but he couldn’t help himself.

“Niall got a new scarf to keep himself warm tonight. How lucky was he?”

He was too mad at her to even feel bad or ashamed then, but he didn’t understand why she was smiling. She must have thought he was a joke. Well, he was. He sounded like such a loser. She would never want to date a loser.

Woah, woah, woah, where did that come from?! No relationship, remember?! What’s wrong with me today?!

“A scarf is like the most basic Christmas gift in my family,” Y/N said as they stopped at a crossroad and he finally turned to look at her, taken aback by what she'd just told him. “When you don’t know what to give someone, buy them a scarf. I didn’t know Niall that well so I got him a scarf. If it was you, I would’ve put in more effort and gotten you something meaningful.”

'If it was you, I would’ve put in more effort...'

'If it was you…'

As his brain kept replaying that same sentence over and over again, he didn’t realise how big he was smiling. But as he snapped out of it and saw the way she was smiling back at him, he felt even happier than before.

Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were a darker shade of pink because of the cold. Now that he’d paid attention to them, he couldn’t look away. If only he could just lean in and kiss her right now...

“Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

Her hand is right there. Hold her hand!

“What, Harry?”

Hold her hand, dickhead!

“You’re getting me a cooler Christmas gift, right?” he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as the voice inside his head screamed at him, “pussy!”

Y/N didn’t suspect a thing as she gave his shoulder a nudge. “Don’t get your hopes up. But...I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe? What’s that supposed to mean?”

The green light came on and the girl walked ahead, leaving him behind again.

“Wait for me! It’s cold!”

“Then walk faster and you’ll warm up!”

“I hate you!” he shouted at her. But goddamnit, he could not love her any more than this.

[officialleehadan]

All the Pillows

hello darlings! Here's another $5+ Patron Prompt! This one was inspired by the dialogue prompt below, and is dedicated to the always-wonderful Bradford! Thank you so much for all your support, darling!

+++

 Person A: “....What the f**k are you doing?”

 Person B: “I’m building a pillow fort.” 

Person A: “Isn’t that a little childish?”

 Person B: “Does that mean you don’t want to join me?” 

Person A: “.....” 

Person B: “.....” 

Person A: “.....Move over.” 

+++

“What the crap are you doing?” Tracy asked as she came in the door, Angelika on her heels. They had been at the farmer’s market, because Angelika wanted to make soup and refused to use anything from the grocery store to do it. 

“I’m building a pillow fort,” Blake said, buried somewhere under what seemed like every blanket and pillow in the house. It was precariously suspended across couches, stools, half of the kitchen counter, and something in the middle that looked suspiciously like a broom. As Tracy looked on, one wing of it teetered and collapsed. Three of the Cats shot out from under the blankets as they came down. 

“Isn’t that a little childish?” Angelika asked, her sweet smile easing the sting of her words even as she set the groceries on the counter to cuddle the nearest Cat, who chirped happily about the Angel Snuggles. 

“Does that mean you don’t want to join me?”

It was Blake’s Tempting voice, but the effect was somewhat lost as the fallen blankets propped themselves back up, the shape under them suspiciously shaped like wings before the broom reappeared, supporting the fort. Roux stayed in Angelika’s arms, but Trill and Pookie both eagerly dove back into the fort. 

Tracy looked at Angelika, deeply tempted.

Angelika looked t the fort.

The sound of her restraint snapping was almost audible.

“Move over,” she said, and set Roux down. “How do we get in?”

“Ask and ye shall receive,” Blake said, and one of the blankets lifted, revealing their most powerful demon, clad in his favorite tatty tee shirt cut open at he back for his wings, and even softer sleeping pants. “it, no. Go get into comfortable clothes first. We are celebrating Sloth and I will not be thwarted.”

Tracy laughed as he made a very Threatening Demon Face at them, and Angelika kissed his forehead. He scrunched up his nose, but there was no hiding the fondness in his eyes when he looked at them. 

“Go on,” he repeated, and dropped the blanket, obscuring the inside of the fort before Tracy could see inside. It was funny, but she was sure she saw light coming from inside the mound of blankets. “We’re making a nest.”

“Do you have Christmas lights under there?” Tracy asked incredulously. Blake ignored the question, but she could feel undeniable satisfaction rolling down their bond, which probably meant yes. “Ridiculous demon.”

“We resemble that statement,” eight voices answered in unison from inside the fort, and Tracy snorted on her way to her room. A quick change into yoga pants and a soft shirt, one of Blake’s, and she was back, wood floor cold under her bare feet. 

“Okay, let me in,” she said as Angelika laughed. The angel was putting her soup together, but Tracy knew that she would join them as soon as she was done. Angelika would never be able to come relax while there was something she could do for their strange family. That often involved feeding them. Angel cookies were the best. “I meet the dress code.”

“What’s the password?”

That was Keighan, and he was every bit as smug as Blake.

“Bow before me, minion,” she replied, confident that her Cats could take the joke for what it was these days. “I demand entrance.”

“Oooh, she’s demanding,” Mara’s voice drifted out, heavy with giggles, which meant that Davi was in there too. The Lovebirds were never far apart. “That wasn’t the password.”

“Not even close,” Blake agreed.

“But she’s the Mistress,” Keighan said, all Catty attitude. “We love the mistress.”

“You know my name just fine, Kitty,” Tracy said, and crawled inside when the blanket was raised despite their teasing. “You don’t have to call me Mistress.”

“We like to,” Keighan told her, wiggling aside to let her in. “It reminds us that we’re yours.”

“You’re definitely mine,” Tracy agreed, and paused to bump his shoulder with hers, unable o snuggle him properly on all fours as she was. “Oh wow, this is… a lot.”

The fort was a masterpiece of architecture and probably a lot of demon magic. The biggest blankets formed the main structure, threaded over chairs and couch to create a large room. Smaller alcoves were shaped of multiple blankets weighted at the bottoms by books, knickknacks, some of Blake’s workout-weights, and Glowbat, who seemed to be content with his roll as Load-Bearing Cat. Christmas lights were threaded through it, turning the secret little space into a warmly-glowing ball of comfort, padded out with still more blankets and probably every pillow in the house.

There were five visible Cats, including Glowbat, three lumps that looked suspiciously Cat-like, and the Lovebirds off in one corner. There was a good bit of blanket in Davi’s lap, but Mara’s face was definitely pressed into the soft white of his feathers. Tracy beamed, glad to see her family so happy. She really did love them.

“The Cats had never seen a pillow fort,” Blake told her when she made it into the main nest of the fort. He had that shifty look he always got when he wanted to do something nice for someone, but didn’t want to admit it. “And who am I to deny them the chance at some good, healthy slothful indulgence?”

“You’re the very best sort of demon. I assume the other Cats have been notified?” Tracy said, and kissed his cheek, even as Zuk crawled into the fort, carefully juggling one of their Bluetooth speakers, and their dedicated Music Tablet. “Settle in. Angelika will be here as soon as she’s done cooking.”

“Our Pledge Lord is the best,” Keighan said as Tracy got comfortable, and Cats scrambled over for snuggles. “The other cats are getting snacks, and then we can talk about which movie we’re gonna watch.”

+++

Higher Being Housemates:

As it turns out, rent is really high  in Heaven. It’s not great in Hell either. An angel and a demon come to  an agreement that works for them both.

Their human housemate still  hasn’t decided whether or not to help them, or kick them all out of her  house. After all, Grad school is hard enough without the Great War  making it worse.

Bright Red Panties

Black and White Feathers

Demonic Comfort

Demonic Intervention

Unwanted Attention

Magpie Wings

Don’t Fall

Sparklers and Demon Smiles

Holy Words

Holy Tea

Santa Baby

Pledge Promise

Unholy Fuss (Free on Patreon)

Tuxedo Cat (Subscribers Only!)

Shadow Puff (Subscriber Only!)

If This Then That

A Third Side (Subscriber Only)

Sharp Edges

Red Letters

Stand Together (Subscriber Only!)

Fuzzy Interlude

The Fun Side  (Subscriber Only!)

Feathers and Tea

Making Christmas

Santa Satan

+++

More Stories!

+++

[bethd0456]

hellooo lovely! i loved reading your response to my last ask - apparently tumblr is messing up my asks bc a lot of them haven’t been going through :( but let’s hope this one does! i’ve been seeing that you watch cherry magic, and it’s one of my favourite shows at the moment!! 💘 who’s your favourite character? mine is kurosawa personally, i relate so much to him and his gayness. also udon chan, the cutest little cat! what did you think of the last ep, wasn’t it so cute!!! (1/2)

i hope you’re doing well!!! i also wanted to ask what your favourite shows and ships are! i already have a vague idea formulating just by browsing through your blog and over our shared love of cherry magic, but i’d looove to hear your thoughts and your favourites!! wishing you the bestest day! 💘 - your secret santa (2/2)

Hiiiii!!!! I hope life is treating you well!

Omg I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I hope you're ready for this MASSIVE answer and you don't get too bored reading this one!

CHERRY MAGIC!!!!!! It instantly became a comfort show for me, as it did for many others!

ADACHIADACHIADACHIADACHI. Adachi is 100% my fave. I never fully understood what a comfort character was. I was like, "yeah! I love Tine also!" But. Adachi is the definition of comfort for me. I see so much of myself in him! Everyone sees him and is like "babie. Must protecc." And honestly? Me too. How can one character be so damn CUTE??!?!? One of my favourite moments is him seeing Kurosawa after the almost-kiss. He just like, sees him, and gets so panicked 🥺 the way his arms just flail about makes me smile like an idiot.

But like, on a deeper level, this drama makes me believe I'm worthy of love. The idea that someone like Kurosawa could be THAT infatuated with you, even though you're an awkward virgin lmao. The point of watching these dramas is to get lost in a story, right? See a situation you want so badly but you know will never realistically happen? The entire premise of the show is just really enticing to me. I am Adachi, Adachi is me. Also, the thing he said in ep6 about not having a clear dream in life? Yeah. I felt that. I'm so envious of people who have passions they work so hard for, it gives them a form of purpose. Like Adachi, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a "daze". I feel like I don't really have any specific passions or skills that I want to develop into a career. Sometimes I just wish I had ambition. Adachi makes me feel so seen and like I'm not the only person who feels like this. The kinds of characters that usually make good protagonists are characters with a clear goal/passion. In most shows this obviously really works, but I can never relate to them personally. It's really special for me to see a character who's similar to me in this way.

Kurosawa is such an amazing character too!!!!! His gay little heart 🥺 on another level, he's just so?? Respectful??? 7. YEARS. 7 years of pining and he holds himself back so well!! He's been waiting for this relationship for so long but is so patient, willing to take things slowly for Adachi. He flirts shamelessly (as he should) but never to the point where Adachi was too uncomfortable.

He cares so much about Adachi :(. But also, even before he liked Adachi, he could tell he was uncomfortable with the drinking thing, so he DOWNED the wine lmao. Clearly he's just a lovely person all round who's really socially aware.

As for other characters:

• Udon my baby!!!! The cutest cat ever!! I love animals sm :(((

• Tsuge's chaotic energy is iconic

• Minato a lovely little dance machine :))

• Rokaku deserves the world, my excitable kiss interruptor :(((

• Fujisaki my love! She's so soft and cute!! Also ace coded how iconic

I ADORED ep8!!! I LIVE for established Adasawa! Adachi coming out to Tsuge :((( I'm so proud of Adachi coming to terms with his feelings and being confident enough to share his relationship with his closest friend. Coming out is not easy and he did so well 🥺

Adachi and Tsuge are so useless bless them 😂 Kurosawa really said "well I guess I have to take these two socially awkward disasters under my wing." Adachi and Tsuge are such a chaotic duo, I love that they can communicate just by touching each other, and omg when Kurosawa said his name Tsuge was "wait maybe I know everything about you already" and if that isn't friendship idk what is

Also Kurosawa making up a poem in his head about Adachi???? Peak romance. Also iconic. I'M A SUCKER FOR HAND HOLDING SCENES SO I DIED. "I like him. I like him. I like him!!" HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET FJKHDSHSKSK

I also got another arm flailing moment when Kurosawa almost got the wrong idea about Adachi and Tsuge!! CAN ADACHI STOP BEING SO CUTE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. How on earth his boyfriend is still alive I have no idea.

There are so many other shows and ships I love. I feel like I'll probably miss some, but here we go. These aren't rankings at all, just like, lists lol.

Show list:

1. 2gether

This show means so much to me. It was the first time I watched a bl week by week and it made it so much more special?? I valued scenes so much more than when I binge shows and they would like, look at each other and I'd have a heart attack. They made the first part of my quarantine bearable bc I always had something to look forward to every Friday. I actually really enjoyed quarantine overall as an introvert (not to be insensitive about the literal deaths the pandemic has caused), but I really enjoyed constantly thinking about how long it was until Friday. I'm massively emotionally attached to all of the characters in this show you have no idea. Every single one. The found family of it all,, the way all of the characters have relationships. Still2gether did a phenomenal job of showcasing all of the unexpected but very welcome dynamics and relationships, platonic and romantic alike. I could blabber about this show for so long I'll spare u for now

2. YYY

Is it well written? No. Did I enjoy it anyway?? You know it! I told you how much I love the found family trope. UGH. THIS FAMILY. Also, seeing the feminine side of the LGBT+ community represented positively warmed my heart. There needs to be more bls that do that! Celebrate femininity!! There's nothing wrong with being camp as fuck! It's so much fun!!! This show made me so happy :))

3. Start up

I'm currently obsessed. It's my first Kdrama and holy shit this is what the hype is about. The budget!! The acting! Top notch. On a sad note I really wish bls got that much funding behind them. My heart aches for a complicated story with fully developed characters and plotlines, that just happens to have a gay main couple/character. Wishful thinking for now at least. Anyways, I'm massively emotionally attached to Halmeoni and Jipyeong. Team Jipyeong all the way (even tho Dalmi's obviously gonna end up with Dosan, and I'm happy for them!). All I need is a happy ending for my darling Jipyeong. Please give him one. Also, if anything happens to Halmeoni I will WEEP.

4. Cherry magic is obviously here but I've ranted about that enough already 😂

5. 3 will be free

I would never have expected gmm to make a series like this! But they went and did THAT. Wild. It was such a healthy representation of a poly relationship. The themes of feminism were so well handled and powerful, the chemistry was off the CHARTS, I was hooked from start to finish! Time for a rewatch? I think so.

6. Feel good

Not an Asian drama, but still gay as FUCK. It's written by my wife Mae Martin who also stars in it, and I have to say, it blew me away. Story time!! My friend irl recommended it to me without saying it was Mae, so I was like "okay sure I'll put it on my to watch list I guess" without much motivation to watch it. But as soon as I found out it was Mae I watched it and I've never looked back lol. Once I finished I sent my friend a splurge of messages about my feelings. The series touches on issues like addiction, sexuality and gender. "I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl. I'm like a failed version of both." That shit HURT.

There's a scene near the end which has really stayed with me. So Mae's character is a comedian and she does a set making jokes about the stuff that happened in the series and oh my GOD. The way I CRIED. It made me realise that people who make jokes about their experiences are using humour as a coping mechanism and when people say "Haha I have daddy issues isn't it funny" we have to remember to be respectful. It's never okay to make jokes about someone else's trauma. Don't make a big deal of it but just don't be a dick.

Anyways I could go on but would 100% recommend this series!

7. HIStory 2 crossing the line

My first bl! This series is the reason I'm so obsessed with bl lmao. The main couple are so soft :( this little series will always hold a special place in my heart!

8. Sotus

My first gmm series, we've come a long way. I miss Kong and Arthit :(

9. Dark blue kiss

Such a brilliant series. I trust P'Aof (director) with my life. This series touches on issues that are so important and deserve to be talked about so much more in bls. This is what happens when you let LGBT people tell LGBT stories! They do it with such care and love!! One of my favourite lines is "I may like men, but I'll never like your brother." One of my biggest let peeves is "I don't like men, I only like x." Like, I get the business behind it, they don't want to make the character gay to make them available for girls to fantasise about. Which is disgusting. But Mork really said "no. ❤" and I LOVE IT.

10. The shipper

I could go on and on about how underrated I think this series is. This series took over from 2gether on Fridays, and while I didn't think about this series constantly like I did with 2gether, this series made my quarantine brighter. Fridays meant I was gonna laugh at least once and forget about life just for a short while. The humour in this series is so fucking dumb lmao, but I'm here for it.

I've seen people talk about the shipper as a bl but I disagree. I think it's better described as a series with bl aspects. The main themes are friendship, family, dealing with loss, respecting boundaries of people you admire, and one of the main messages is about making sure the people close to you know how much they mean to you. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the series is over the top humour, but by the end of it I was personally really attached to the characters and their feelings. Overall I really enjoyed this series but I don't see anyone properly talk about it :(

11. Gaya sa pelikula

A series made by gay people for gay people. Shows like this are so important. This show really healed my soul with how brilliant the representation was :(( "remember we talked about microagressions" the way that means Vlad is constantly educating Karl about LGBT stuff, UGH. SO GOOD. Also this show has the most realistic representation of a crush I've ever seen lmao, soft Vlad is the best Vlad.

12. My engineer

My happy little Saturday show :( I miss the shit writing, shit acting and soft story of this series so much. I'm so fond of this series, I watched it after the horrible ep12 of 2gether and it really made me happy. I'm looking forward to season 2, but Ramking's novel goes DOWNHILL from here on. I know tricreation wouldn't allow the final chapter's scenes, but the entire story is so problematic and unenjoyable :(. The only valid scene is King's coming out scene but that's literally it. And the collar scene can stay lmao.

13. Oxygen

Another soft saturday series! I love this series so much, all of the couples are so bloody healthy and it makes me so happy. The communication is amazing!! THIS is how you show healthy relationships!!!

14. The gifted

S1 was so amazing!! I loved all of it! The only part of s2 we'll talk about is timegracethird. Time best boy!! Grace a feminist queen! When future Grace said they would be friends for a long time that made me so happy :(( also pangwave canon

15. Until we meet again

So I talked about the healthy relationships in oxygen. But uwma really showed the healthiest relationship ever. DeanPharm are just the softest little humans :( I would die for Pharm. He's the closest I got to a comfort character before Adachi. I just have to PROTECT HIM. My motherly instincts really kick in when I see him lmao.

The storyline of this series is just breathtaking. And the ending? I don't think I've ever cried that much. At all. It was so fucking beautiful 🥺

16. My gear and your gown

I really liked this show! Honestly I don't think I'll ever rewatch it but I definitely enjoyed it. The way Pai just seemed to breathe freely for the first time when his parents accepted his sexuality :(((( my baby :( also purefolk were brilliant

Ship list:

1. Saratine

These two are the definition of romance. They mean the fucking world to me. The fact that their story is apparently gonna be continued in some form makes me so. So. Happy. I cannot begin to describe it. My bet is on a special episode and ugh I'm so EXCITED.

2. Aini

Thonhonchonlatee in general is enjoyable but I don't like Thon at all. It's such a shame bc I was so excited for Khaotung and Podd to be in a series together :((. BUT. Aini have grabbed my heart. I knew they would bc miketap are brilliant, but wow. They're so gay my little babies :( miketap are just so natural and comfortable to watch. I love their chemistry so muuuuuuch

3. Sunmork

Coffee boyfriends :( I miss them so bloody much

4. Ramking

One of my fave ships. As I mentioned, I'm apprehensive about s2, but s1 ramking is such a beautiful story. It's just about 2 boys falling in love, no complications. Plant boy who's afraid of dogs falls in love with quiet boy who loves dogs but is afraid of children. Iconic. Also chemistry outsold, I THINK ABOUT THE KISS CONSTANTLY. When I mentioned the acting is shit in this series (shit is harsh, I mean awkward), I did not mean Perth and Lay in the slightest. They really nailed their roles and I loved it.

5. Professor Layton x Claire

You 100% won't get this reference but I grew up with the Professor Layton games and holy shit do they hold up. They're so amazingly written with beautiful stories and the most lovable characters in the world. Layton's intellect, loving nature and surprising athleticism are admirable. Adachi is the character I relate to most, but if I was gonna choose a character to comfort me irl, Layton's your man. His voice is so comforting by nature. I'm blabbering at this point but the point is him and Claire are the only het pairing that matters.

These are just the ships that I felt should be separate from their shows. I love all of the ships from the shows I mentioned.

Oof this got horrifically long, I haven't had a proper chance to rant about most of these shows so I really let it out lol. I hope you've watched at least some of these shows and I didn't just rant to u about 12 shows you've never heard of 😂

I hope you have a wonderful day love!!!!

[make-them-laugh]

Code Lyoko Secret Santa

@thedarkflygon @codesecretsanta

"Long time no see, Aelita," Yumi smirked as the pink haired girl entered the library.

"I know! It's been what, since breakfast?" Aelita giggled quietly as she started pulling books from the return bin. Yumi laughed too before she turned to help a patron find something. When she came back, Aelita was frowning at her phone.

"Let me guess. Jer's flaking on date night," Yumi sighed. "But it's important, isn't it?"

"His dad's company had a major data breach and they asked him to find the root of it," Aelita took a deep breath and smiled. "But he's going to take me to breakfast tomorrow and to feed the ducks before he has to go to class."

"Well, we'll have a girls night in after I get home. You want a scary movie or a funny one?" Yumi rubbed her back gently and smiled.

"Surprise me," Aelita grinned. "Oh! Did you find anything out about that cute guy in your martial arts club?"

"Never said he was cute," Yumi corrected. "Just weird that he comes to a club and doesn't talk to anyone. But no. I tried talking to him and I think he said a total of 5 words to me. He's kind of an ass, actually."

Aelita shrugged. "Could just be anxious. You said he just joined two weeks ago, right?"

"There you go, always believing in the best in people," Yumi rolled her eyes with a smile and sighed. "That's true. He does seem pretty tense when anyone approaches him."

"See? Just give him some time to acclimate and he'll probably be more comfortable talking to people," Aelita grinned. "And speaking of comfortable talking to people, I'm meeting my cousin at the Starbucks he works at and he's gonna get me a free drink. Want me to see if I can bring a plus one?”

"I would kill for a white chocolate peppermint mocha right now, so sure," Yumi laughed.

The head librarian came by at that point and gave them a fond look. "Oh, to be young and working with my girlfriends again. I'd scold you for chatting on the clock, but you always go above and beyond, especially when you work together. Keep up the good work!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Both women grinned and continued what they were doing.

☕☕☕☕☕

"Hey, good buddy, best friend, amigo, my greatest of compatriots-"

"What do you want, Odd?" Ulrich rolled his eyes.

"Aelita is coming to get my free drink, but she's bringing a friend and I've only got the one?" Odd pretended to pout and Ulrich sighed.

"Okay, you can use my free drink, but you owe me lunch on payday," Ulrich smirked.

Odd grinned and hugged Ulrich tight and Ulrich patted his back.

They finished their opening duties, and Odd was working drive-through while Ulrich took the counter. He smiled when he saw a shock of pink hair.

"Hey, Princess! The usual on Odd's tab?"

"Yep! And a white chocolate peppermint mocha, extra whip, crushed peppermint on the cream if you can," Aelita grinned as she held the door open. Ulrich froze as Yumi walked in and nodded at the order.

"Coming right up. Odd, I'm putting in your number for your cousin's drink!" Ulrich called to the back.

"Cool! I'll swing by and put yours in for her friend in a second!"

Yumi's eyes widened as she realized who was behind the counter. "So, you work with Aelita's cousin?"

"Yeah. We carpool from our apartment."

Realization dawned on Aelita's face and she grabbed Yumi's arm.

"I'll be back in a second, Ulrich. I need to ask Yumi something privately."

He nodded, confused, as he started on their drinks. Aelita dragged Yumi outside.

"Is that him? The guy from martial arts club?"

"Yes! How do you know him?" Yumi raised an eyebrow.

"He and Odd have been best friends since Middle School!" Aelita nodded. "Yeah, he's really anxious around new people and gets really stressed out in new places. I don't know the whole story, but once you get to know him, he's like the nicest guy ever. It takes him a while to warm up to people, but he is ride or die once he does."

"I'll… Give him another chance. Because you like him," Yumi sighed. Aelita grinned and hugged her tightly.

"All I ask."

Aelita led Yumi back inside and smiled as Ulrich was setting down their drinks. Odd looked around cautiously and Ulrich rolled his eyes.

"I'm manager on duty, Odd. Go hug your cousin."

Odd raced around the counter and grinned as he pulled Aelita in. Ulrich sighed and smiled. "I can see Nicholas just punched in so I have to go do stock now. Thanks for coming in, Aelita. I'll… See you at club tomorrow, Yumi?"

"Yeah. See you then. Thank you… Ulrich."

He nodded and practically ran to the back as Odd squeezed Aelita one last time.

"We still on for cousin lunch Sunday?"

"Always," Aelita nodded. "My treat this time since you covered last time."

"You're an angel," Odd grinned. "I gotta get back behind the counter but I'll see you later."

Aelita and Yumi waved as Odd went back behind the counter. After they were outside, Odd went to the back and grinned. "So. That was Yumi-from-martial-arts?"

Ulrich didn't glance up from his clipboard.

 "I'm not talking to you about this."

"Too late, you already told me about her, so as your best friend, it's my business now," Odd smirked.

"Too bad," Ulrich counted boxes and still refused to look at Odd. "Go back to the drive-through, or I'm putting you on bar."

Odd groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'm not dropping this. I'll figure out everything eventually."

"That's what you think."

🎞️🎞️🎞️🎞️🎞️

Aelita and Yumi looked up when the door opened and Aelita jumped up off the couch. Jeremie shuffled in and she smiled as she kissed him softly.

"There’s a plate of pizza, a glass of water, and your meds on your nightstand. Eat, drink, get some rest. I'll wake you up for breakfast in the morning."

Jeremie smiled tiredly and kissed her cheek. "How did I get so lucky? Sorry I had to cancel tonight, but I couldn't pass up this job."

"I know. And Yumi kept me company," Aelita grinned. "Oh! I meant to tell you! Apparently martial arts guy is Odd's friend!"

"Oh, Ulrich! That makes sense!" Jeremie nodded. "I tutored him in a couple classes, he's a nice guy."

"So Aelita says," Yumi rolled her eyes. "I've yet to see it."

"You will, don't worry," Jeremie chuckled. "Uh, try talking to him about Aiya."

Yumi raised an eyebrow as the Afghan Hound in her lap perked at her name. "Dog lover, huh?"

"As long as it's not Kiwi," Aelita laughed. "But he has a soft spot for dogs, yes. He's actually got a dog too. A Shih Tzu named Mila. She's a spoiled pup, for sure. And doesn't take any nonsense from Kiwi."

"Okay. I'll give it a try. Hey, why did he call you Princess?” Yumi shifted to hold Aiya closer.

Aelita laughed. "Odd started it, but I knew Ulrich and I were really friends when he started calling me that. He doesn't do it all the time, but it's sweet."

"Okay. I'll try to talk about Aiya when I see him next. But for now…" Yumi stood and picked up a leash. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Aiya howled and stood, dancing back and forth on her feet as Yumi clipped the leash on her collar.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Ulrich coughed as he opened the window and glared at Odd. Smoke billowed out and he waved his hand in front of his face.

"Odd, how many times do I have to tell you to turn the vent fan on when you cook bacon?! You always burn it!"

"Apparently one more time," Odd grinned.

Ulrich sighed and grabbed a leash from his coat hook. "I'm taking Mila for a walk. Text me when the smoke is gone."

He put headphones over his ears and walked out.

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

"You've got to be kidding me," Yumi muttered under her breath when she saw Ulrich turn onto the same path as her. She could tell the second he saw her, because he froze up. She paused, Aiya coming to her side as Ulrich walked up.

"Hi, Yumi," Ulrich looked down at his dog and cursed softly. "Sorry, one second. Mimi, you got twigs stuck in your fur. Let me get those."

Yumi watched as he pulled a tiny comb from his pocket and combed out the twigs and leaves from the ponytail over her eyes.

"So… Aelita told me your dog's name is Mila? This is Aiya."

"Yeah," Ulrich nodded as he stood and put the comb and his hands in his pockets. "My dad's ridiculously allergic to dogs, so I got one as soon as I moved out."

Yumi chuckled and nodded. "My dad hates pets, so I did the same thing. What commands does she know?"

"She knows up, down, spin, shake, bed, out, and basket," Ulrich stroked Mila's back and smiled as she turned to kiss his hand.

"Basket?"

"We have a basket for her at the edge of the kitchen so when she's underfoot while I'm cooking, I can send her there."

"Oh, okay. We have a crate for Aiya. We decked it out though so that it's more like a comfy cubby," Yumi smiled and stroked Aiya's fur.

Ulrich fell quiet and Yumi shuffled her feet.

"I'm sorry, Ulrich."

Ulrich looked up at her in confusion and she continued.

"I didn't really give you a chance because I thought you were just antisocial and rude. I know how hard it can be to join a new group, even if you love the core component, and I didn't really make a welcoming clubmate," Yumi sighed. "If you want, we could… Hang out? Sometime this week?”

Ulrich looked back down and shrugged. "Yeah. That sounds fun. What do you wanna do?"

"Lunch and arcade? I haven't done that in a while. Aelita and Jeremie got bored when they finished all the games and I hate going alone," Yumi put her hands in her pockets and shrugged.

"Sure," Ulrich nodded. "It'll be nice to play with someone who isn't Odd for once."

"Cool," Yumi smiled. "How about Saturday after Martial arts?"

"Can't, Saturday I volunteer coach a kids soccer league," Ulrich shook his head. "Monday?"

"Gymnastics club and work," Yumi pursed her lips. "Next Thursday?"

"Thursday is good," Ulrich smiled. "Meet here at about eleven?"

"Eleven on Thursday," Yumi grinned.

"See you then," Ulrich nodded. "I've gotta get back, early classes tomorrow. It was nice talking to you, Yumi. And for what it's worth, sorry I wasn't a little easier to approach earlier."

"Water under the bridge," Yumi stroked Aiya's fur. "See you Thursday."

Ulrich nodded and started walking with Mila. When he turned back to look at Yumi, she was turning back to look at him. He blushed and hurried home.

🕹️🕹️🕹️🕹️🕹️

Yumi looked around the arcade as they walked in. "Oh man, Dance Dance Revolution! Aelita and Jeremie never wanted to play! You… Probably wouldn't want to play that either, huh?"

"No no, let's do it, it's fine," Ulrich chuckled as he climbed onto one of the mats. "Odd always makes me play it when we come."

Yumi smiled as she got onto the other one. "Thanks. So you guys come here a lot?"

"Every two weeks on payday, we play a few games and get lunch," Ulrich scrolled through the songs. "Any of these looking good? I'm indifferent."

"That one looks good," Yumi smiled. "So, I guess if he makes you play that often, you must be pretty good."

"Decent. I don't have as good a sense of rhythm as Odd does, but he's a film major with a minor in musical scoring, so I would honestly hope that's the case," Ulrich shrugged.

"What are you going to school for anyway? I'm a women's studies major."

"Sports therapy and education," Ulrich smiled as he started the game. "My high school gym teacher was really cool and I looked up to him a lot."

The conversation fell quiet as they played and Yumi laughed when Ulrich won by a significant amount.

"For someone who says he's got no rhythm, you're pretty good!" Yumi smiled as she picked the next song. "Though, I suppose sports lends itself well to dance games."

"There you are, Yumi! Jeremie and I have been looking everywhere for you!" Aelita smiled as she came up behind Yumi and Ulrich. Jeremie followed behind her, their fingers laced. "Having fun, you two?"

"As much fun as I can for being a stick in the mud," Ulrich chuckled.

"I never called you that!" Yumi scowled.

"Oh no! That wasn't a dig at you, just everyone I went to high school with," Ulrich held his hands up in surrender.

Aelita sighed. "It's true. High school kids are jerks."

"Ah, yeah, I'm familiar with THAT phenomenon," Yumi sighed. "Anyway, Aelita, why were you looking for me?"

"Oh, I just forgot you were hanging out with Ulrich and thought the three of us could do something," Aelita shrugged.

Ulrich looked around and smiled. "Actually, there's a new game over there we can all play! It looks like there's five headsets, I can call Odd!"

"Hmm, Lyoko. An adventure in a virtual reality world," Jeremie read the description. "It sounds fun!"

Ulrich pulled out his phone as the girls put on their headsets. Soon Odd was there, and the five of them started a game together.

[olicitysecretsanta]

The Personal Shopper (Olicity Holiday)

Merry Christmas to @bifelicitys! I am your Secret Olicity Santa. I hope that you enjoy this romantic little story for the holiday! 

The Personal Shopper

Felicity Smoak loved this job. Okay, technically, it wasn’t her job-job. It was her side hustle. Everybody she knew had one - an extra means of income - usually independent in nature - that she could use to make money on her off time from being a cyber-security expert at Merlyn Global in Starling City. The money was good, the work was ridiculously easy, and it was helping her to send extra cash to help her mom pay off her home in Vegas. It also helped to keep her busy and totally not thinking about how spending the holidays in a new city could make her feel a little alone. She had moved to town six months prior. 

When Felicity first learned that personal shopping was an actual job, she scoffed. The idea that people paid you to shop for them sounded extravagant and, well, lazy. At first, she only purchased and set up computer systems for Luddites, people who either didn’t understand tech or were legitimately afraid of it. But last month, the agency that placed her asked her to branch out into other shopping tasks. This was how she found herself buying Christmas gifts for a very busy, very wealthy CEO. Initially, she had set up his home office and apparently he was so impressed, he asked the agency to hire her for the purchase of a slew of Christmas gifts for his friends of loved ones. 

Felicity was surprised when she learned of the request. She had only exchanged a handful of emails and texts with Oliver Queen — that was his name — until that point. Of course, she knew she had good taste, a great intuition about what items were suitable, and perhaps most of all, the resourcefulness to find whatever was the right fit, no matter how difficult, but she certainly didn’t expect him to appreciate that that. But he did. 

Since she had become his personal shopper, things with the businessman and Felicity had subtly shifted and there was more of a dialogue taking place between them. The emails were more frequent. There had been…texting. When he liked one of her suggestions, he always responded with text or an enthusiastic emoji. A target with an arrow sticking out of it meant she had nailed it. A goat meant the idea was exceptional. Once he had sent her a heart eyes emoji and then spent three texts explaining that his thumb had slipped and apologizing. That made her chortle for a full five minutes. The idea that a CEO would send her a text with heart eyes in it was hilarious. She had Googled him and knew that he was both handsome and notoriously single. It was best not to get infatuated with that sort of man. Still, Felicity looked forward to their exchanges. Realizing that her holiday duties would be wrapping up soon, she could not help feeling a bit sad. 

On this particular Saturday morning, just days away from Christmas, Felicity entered the security code to a penthouse in what she considered the “fancy-schmancy” district of Starling. A green light on the panel signaled success. She turned the handle on a large wooden door and it swung open easily. On the other side, the clean lines, leather upholstery and muted tones of the apartment that screamed “luxurious bachelor pad.” There were a few paintings and a couple of furry pillows on a sofa, but no hint of personal decorations upon first glance. Normally this didn’t bother Felicity, but on this day it struck her that there was no hint of a holiday going on in the place. 

Really, Oliver? No cheer? There was no evidence around the place, despite its beautiful furnishings, that he was celebrating Christmas. It was all grey and natural, but lacked color and, well, personality. Why didn’t he have a wreath on the front door or one of those Charlie Brown trees on a side table? It made Felicity shake her head.  

The IT specialist/cyber security expert was dressed down today in yoga pants and an oversized green sweater, well aware she wouldn’t see anyone and, more importantly, no one would see her. She removed the messenger bag slung over her shoulder and slipped out of her fluffy winter coat, setting them both on stools by the breakfast bar of the kitchen island. Her boots came off next, leaving her feet covered in a pair of festive Hanukkah socks. Her grandma always kept her flush in themed hosiery. It was their thing. 

Felicity had visited this apartment so many times, she had developed rituals. After leaving her footwear resting by the door, she headed to the wall of windows on the far end of the open living space. They showcased Starling City.. She stood near the glass and hugged herself against a slight draught. The brief chill was worth it for the view. It was a cold, but clear day and she could see for miles, even beyond the city.

When her reverie was done, she went to the stove and filled the stainless steel kettle that always rested on the gas burner. Early instructions on working in the empty apartment had encouraged her to make use of the kitchen, as needed. She did so gratefully. After sourcing a tea bag and a mug from the cabinets, she walked to the dining table and approached the laptop and a note that was left for her. The purchases were all made on Oliver’s laptop, which had his banking attached. It was easier that way and Felicity enjoyed working in the space, far from her small apartment and her tiny office at Merlyn Global. She also found it funny that she was tasked to work on a computer she had initially set up for the man.

Felicity had yet to cross paths with the man himself. It seemed that Oliver Queen was always out of town, or at a work event, or some gala. It had become a source of comedy, actually, how they passed without meeting. Consequently, there was always a typed note with instructions, presumably produced and placed on his dining table by his executive assistant. She had nicknamed the note-fairy “Godfrey” (although she was well aware the woman’s name was Louise) and wondered what it was like to be the sort of assistant who had to go to their boss’s apartment to deliver notes. She read an article that said CEOs sometimes had assistants do their packing.  Godfrey have to pack for the man? Check the wine stash to see if any bottles were missing? (For the record, Felicity had examined the wine cabinet and even Googled a few of the labels out of curiosity, but she would never help herself to something. That was simply not right.)

Something else was not right today. The note. It was handwritten. A confident print with occasional script flourishes mixed in. Still, a man’s hand. 

Dear Felicity,

First, thank you so much for everything you have done over the last months. I have appreciated your expertise more than I can say. You have done such a wonderful job sourcing gifts. It felt at times like you read my mind. 

Felicity couldn’t help but smile. She felt appreciated. It had hardly felt like work to find gifts for Oliver Queen’s close friends and family members, but she liked the acknowledgment. That was something she didn’t get at her regular job.  

I know that my mother is going to love the arrangement you made for the exhibit at the Starling Museum. Her friends at the garden club will be absolutely livid with jealousy and that will be like a second gift to her. 

She nodded. The museum sponsorship had Moira Queen written all over it. Felicity got the idea when she saw a picture of the woman standing in front of a painting in an old issue of Architectural Digest. Did they really have an actual Monet in their actual house? She would have to ask sometime. Yeah, sure. 

Dad will really enjoy the new turntable and the box set of Rolling Stones records (and they will make Mom crazy). We might need to think about head phones. 

She giggled. It had not been her intention to create friction at the Queen Mansion, but when her research revealed that the retired business leader had been in a Stones cover band in college, it just felt right. Now she imagined Robert Queen strutting around his library like Mick Jagger and it made her extremely happy. The man deserved a little rock and roll in his life. 

That amazing bottle of scotch is probably more than my best friend deserves, but it is Christmas. I’m not sure how you found it, but you are quite remarkable. He is going to owe me big time. 

The bottle of Macallan for Tommy Merlyn required a bit of horse trading with a liquor dealer in Coast City and thirty minutes of free advice on the topic of secure point of sale systems. It was worth it and she was victorious. Now, she found it rather funny that she had helped arrange a gift for her boss’s son.  

The Lieber bag you picked out for Thea is perfect for her collection. Thank you for figuring out which one she wanted. 

She wondered if Oliver knew that his baby sister, Thea Queen, was an a-plus operator. As soon as Felicity started digging around to figure out a good gift for the young fashion student, Thea herself reached out and gave her several excellent suggestions and sources for the perfect treat. 

All of the other gifts — the Disney package for the Diggles, the wallet for Walter Steele and the treats for the Board, were, again perfect. I am sure that my assistant is going to be very pleased with the cashmere wrap (and a hefty bonus). 

Felicity knew that wrap was very, very nice. She just couldn’t imagine Godfrey wearing it. Well, she honestly couldn’t imagine Godfrey, period. And she liked it that way. Some mysteries were best left alone - as long as they weren’t technological. 

One the subject of bonuses, please see the envelope (just between us) and accept it with my sincere thanks. You are obviously a clever, observant and nice person. I have enjoyed our messaging back and forth very much during this stressful end of year. You have made me laugh and, well…thank you. O

Felicity blushed a little from the complements and then noticed the aforementioned envelope. She looked inside and her eyes bugged out when she saw the amount. It was too generous. 

She pushed away from the table and stood up, feeling the need to pace. She never expected any kind of gesture like this from a client and she didn’t know how to respond. Should she refuse it and risk offending him? Her brain was clouding up with ethical concerns. Finally, she grabbed her phone and found the familiar contact in her messaging program. 

FS: You are too generous.

A few moments passed. Then she saw dots pulsing on the screen. 

OQ: Not at all. You deserve it. You saved Christmas for me with my family. That means a lot. 

FS: I do appreciate it. Thank you. 

OQ: Are you headed out of town to visit your Mom for the holidays?

Felicity smiled. It was funny how much information had been shared in both directions while doing this job. Of course, it had been necessary to learn about Oliver in order to pick out appropriate gifts, but revealing information about herself had just happened naturally as they exchanged messages. 

FS: No. She is going to Reno with her cousin. It’s a non-stop party with those two through New Years. They wear me out. 

Oliver responded with a celebrating emoji and a smiley face. 

FS: Are you going to be traveling for business through Christmas?

OQ: No, I actually got back last night. 

An alarm bell went off in Felicity’s head at the same time the tea pot whistled. She nearly jumped out of her chair.

FS: You’re here? 

OQ: At my parents through lunch. Tonight there’s a Christmas gala for…something. I’ll be by later to get my tux. 

Felicity breathed a sigh of relief and headed to pour the water in the cup, phone still in hand.  

OQ: Just relax and have that cup of tea. 

She stopped and looked around the kitchen. 

FS: How did you know I’m making tea at your place? Did you get cameras?

OQ: Creepy. No. I could never something like that past a security expert like you. I do get a notification when the alarm is disabled. Remember? You told me to set that up months ago. 

Felicity smirked and submerged the tea bag in the bubbling cup. 

FS: Very good. But that doesn’t explain how you know I’m making a cup of tea. 

OQ: Every time I come home when you’ve been there, the only trash you leave behind is tea-related. 

FS: That’s very observant of you, Mr. Holmes. 

OQ: Thank you, Watson. 

FS: But maybe the tea drinker is Godfrey. 

A laughing emoji was the response. 

OQ: That nickname. 

FS: Not on-point?

OQ: Eerily accurate. Louise is a gem though. 

FS: She must be to go through your unmentionables.

OQ: What???

FS: I read that some CEOs have their assistants pack for them. 

OQ: That’s just wrong. I must admit, I do get a lot of help to manage my life, but I would never ask someone to do that.  

FS: Good. I didn’t think you would be that kind of boss. 

Felicity curled up on the sectional with her cup of tea. A handy throw within arm’s reach was pulled across her lap. 

OQ: There was that one time though. 

Felicity quirked an eyebrow and sent a similar emoji. 

OQ: I had a business trip to Washington, DC and it got extended from two days to five. Louise had underwear and socks delivered to me. New. From Amazon. Totally unsolicited. 

FS: So, she never touched your actual drawers then?  

OQ: No drawers…of any kind. Ever. Jesus. I do have to make eye contact with her sometimes.

Felicity giggled into her cup and took a sip. 

FS: I just realized, I am pulling you away from holiday merrymaking with your family. Decking the halls and such.

OQ: We don’t actually do that. Mother has the staff decorate. This year’s theme is silver and angst. 

A chuckle erupted from the blonde. 

FS: Don’t you miss putting up your tree?

OQ: Maybe a little. But I travel so much. I’m not around to pitch in anyway. 

Felicity felt the conversation mood slipping. Even though she knew she should end it, she didn’t it to be on a sad note. 

FS: My mother decorated a tree entirely with tacky earrings one year. That was special. 

OQ: Aren’t you Jewish? 

FS: My mother likes to decorate. Christian holidays have been appropriated. And she has A LOT of earrings. Another year we made ornaments out of aluminum foil.

OQ: That sounds very special. 

FS: We Smoaks are resourceful. 

OQ: You are a lot of things, Felicity. Very remarkable. 

FS: Thank you for remarking on it. So, you have a gala tonight. What’s it for? 

OQ: A worthwhile cause. 

FS: You don’t know, do you?

OQ: Nope. 

FS: But you’ll still show up looking pretty, right? 

Felicity pressed send before she thought about it. She grimaced. That was a much too flippant thing to say to Oliver Queen, her client. She really needed to work on her babbling via text. After a moment or two, there was a response. 

It was a blushing emoji.  

FS: I think I should probably leave you to your day. 

OQ: No problem. I do need to go to brunch. Have a great Saturday. And thank you again. 

The end of Oliver’s text was filled with all manner of silly emojis. A snowman. Eyeballs. A scarf. A unicorn. 

What a nice man, she thought. And a generous one - to friends, family, and colleagues. 

Suddenly, Felicity wanted to do something nice for Oliver Queen. Maybe it was crazy, but she would try. She just didn’t have a lot of time. 

>>—> 

It was mid-afternoon when Oliver emerged from the elevator to the penthouse floor of his building carrying a sack of leftovers from his parents’ house. The housekeeper, Raisa, never let him leave empty-handed. He probably would have come home a little later, but he was intrigued. His security system had been disengaged two hours earlier with the code he had provided to Felicity Smoak and it had not been reset. Curiosity pulled at him and he was just a little worried that she might not be okay. 

He had left the note and check early that morning, wanting to be sure she had a nice holiday and knew how much she was appreciated, but as the day had worn on with activities at the mansion, he had really only been thinking of her and their texts. 

As soon as he crossed the threshold, Oliver was struck by the smell of cinnamon and pine. Over near the window, he caught sight of her - a petite blonde with her back to him, reaching up to put a paper snowflake on a sizable Christmas tree. She was adorable from the back, her pony tail swishing back and forth.  And when she lifted her arms, the sweater she was wearing revealed a rather tantalizing yoga pant situation. He had Googled her months ago when he decided to give her access to his home, so he knew how attractive she was, on top of being an exceptionally gifted tech genius. It still burned him that Merlyn had hired her before she was on QC’s radar. But maybe things worked out the way they were supposed to. 

Rather than startle her, he just stood and marveled at the room. There were boughs of holly and sprigs of greenery placed carefully around the room. Candles (the battery-operated ones that looked pretty authentic from a distance) flickered on tables. She had obviously worked fast. His apartment looked like an actual home today - not just an extension of his office or a hotel suite. He wanted to smile, but guarded his features, waiting for the woman to turn to face him. 

When she did, she took his breath away, just a little. Her glasses had slipped down her nose and she gasped at his sudden appearance. 

“Oliver. I mean, Mister Queen. I’m…” Felicity grimaced, suddenly realizing that this spontaneous idea might not be welcome and she had majorly overstepped. Perhaps the man didn’t want all of this holiday nonsense cluttering up his streamlined existence. 

He liked her voice. It was feminine and he wanted to hear more of it. 

“You’ve been busy,” he deadpanned. 

“I just thought,” Felicity stammered as she moved to collect the paper snowflakes she was cutting at the dining table, “you might enjoy some cheer in your home. I am so sorry I intruded. I can come back later when you aren’t home and clear it away.” She wasn’t making eye contact now. 

“Felicity,” Oliver sighed her name for the first time. It felt nice on his lips. “Felicity,” he repeated, finally causing her to stop and look at him. “You will do no such thing.” 

“No?” 

“This is the absolute best present I have gotten in a long time,” he spoke warmly and approached her at the table. 

She bit her lip and looked away, her fingers worrying at a snowflake so much that it was becoming confetti on the floor. 

“It wasn’t a big deal, I…”

“I don’t mean mean the decorations. I mean you,” he stepped closer to her and touched her elbow gently. Felicity looked up at him, breathless. He really was a looker, as her grandma would say. She swallowed hard and swore not to say anything ridiculous for as long as possible. 

Oliver got lost in her blue eyes and stopped speaking, then suddenly realized what he had just said. It sounded kind of overbearing. “Not…not that you’re my present,” he actually stammered. “I mean, your friendship. Meeting you has been such an unexpected gift these last months. Do you understand?” Oliver’s voice was barely a whisper as he studied her face for a response. 

The blonde had to escape his intense gaze, so she looked down at her Hanukkah socks and flexed her toes. Oh geez, she was wearing crazy socks in front of this beautiful man. It suddenly occurred to her that he didn’t care. Felicity blinked and a smile erupted across her sweet face. “Well, technically, we haven’t met yet.” 

“Holy shit, you’re right.” The tall man threw his head back with a chuckle. Then he gathered himself as he would before a business meeting. He stepped back and bowed his head slightly. 

“Hello. My name is Oliver,” He stalled, then, to make it clear that he was not his father. “Oliver Queen. I am an over-scheduled businessman who is completely reliant on other people to do basically everything for him.” He offered his hand to her, quite formally. 

Felicity stood a little straighter and reached out to meet his hand with hers. “Hello. I’m Felicity Smoak MIT Class of Oh-Nine and I am occasionally nosey and completely inappropriate.” 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Felicity.” 

“Oliver.” She said his name and it sounded sweet to his ears. She grinned afterwards because she liked the sound of it too. 

“Felicity, if you aren’t busy tonight, could you stay and help me decorate this tree? Have dinner?”

“Sure. But you have a thing. A gala thing tonight.” She tried not to look disappointed. 

Oliver thought about the situation for a moment and then pulled his phone out of his pocket. His expression encouraged her to wait while he attended to something. He drafted a text and hit send. Then he waited. 

“I like your socks,” he said idly. He liked everything about Felicity Smoak, actually, but it was a little early to share that. 

“Thank you,” she brightened. “A present from my grandma.”

“Have I mentioned how extraordinary you are, Felicity Smoak?”

“Not in the past ninety seconds.” 

There was then a ping on Oliver’s phone. He looked down at the screen and grinned. He sent another text back. There was a reply. And then another exchange. When it all ended, Oliver breathed a cleansing breath and looked more relaxed. 

“What is it? What just happened?” Felicity couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer. 

Oliver turned the phone to show her the conversation. Felicity moved closer and leaned in to read the screen. 

OQ: I need you to do the gala thing tonight in my place. 

TMerlyn: What’s it for?

OQ: A worthy cause.

TMerlyn: You always say that. 

OQ: it’s always true. 

TMerlyn: Why me? Or should I say, why not you? 

OQ: I am decorating my apartment tonight with my new friend.  And you owe me.

TMerlyn: Thank God, you old hermit. Is she pretty? Does she have a friend. Hey, how do I owe you? 

OQ: You will when you see your Xmas present. 

TMerlyn: It better be good, Ollie. And you better send a nice donation to the worthy cause. 

OQ: Will do. Night Tommy. 

Felicity’s heart was beating, being this close to Oliver and having witnessed his private conversation. He wanted to get to know her better. She shivered a little at the prospect. 

“I am suddenly free.” He looked down at her, nearly a head shorter than him and beamed. His eyebrow quirked with an unanswered question. 

“Well, since you are free, I guess it’s good that I am as well.”

“Yay,” he cheered, just loud enough for her to hear. 

“You know, you really need to slow down and take more time for yourself, Oliver.”

“I absolutely agree. And that starts tonight. You could show me how to make these snowflakes for the tree.” 

Oliver took her hand and led her back toward the tree. He didn’t let go and hoped she wouldn’t mind/didn’t notice. 

“Oh, I don’t know. That’s pretty advanced. Do you think you’re ready?”

“Maybe you’re right. I should work my way up to paper crafts.” Oliver looked from her to the tree and sported a playful grin. Next to him, her voice piped up. It was becoming his favorite voice. 

“Right. So, Oliver, do you have any aluminum foil?”

The End

and

Merry Christmas!

[kiss-my-freckle]

The hiring of Tom Keen. The contradictions. 

From what they’ve shown, I believe Tom Keen had three separate employers. With the two they’ve shown, they’ve still handed us contradictions. 

Red and Berlin. 

Red hired Tom in 2009, Tom and Liz met July of 2010, Red fired/Berlin hired Tom in 2011, Tom and Liz married November of 2011. Tom said he worked for Red for two years. That puts Red hiring Tom in 2009. So Tom was hired at least 7 months before he actually met Liz in 2010. 

Red’s hire of Tom Keen.

2x19-

Red: When I hired Tom Keen, it was at a time of profound transition in your life. You’d already left behind the relative safety and innocence of youth. Sam’s care as a father had served you well, but you’d outgrown him. And I knew that eventually my life would jeopardize yours. So, in an admittedly presumptuous and ultimately futile effort to keep you safe, I hired Tom simply to be there as a friend of a friend to look after you from an arm’s length. 

5x8-

Major: The assignment’s deep cover. No timeline, no price tag. This may seem like a cake walk, but it’s the kind of assignment that makes me nervous. Our contractor has deep pockets. Demands the best, insists on anonymity. Tom: She’s cute. Major: That’s one more thing he insists on. Your job’s to be the friend of a friend, get to know this Milhoan, not to get involved with her. Just be a friend of a friend. You get that?

Tom: You hired me to spy on Liz. Red: I hired you to protect her.

Be a friend of a friend. I imagine friends protect friends, not spy on them.

Red’s fire/Berlin’s hire of Tom Keen.

2x19-

Red: When I learned that your relationship had become intimate, I fired him. I should’ve removed him, but you were already in love with him. And Tom, he shifted his allegiance to Berlin. In part - to protect himself from me, but also because it allowed for an inextricable intimacy and commitment to you. And so - you were married. And I couldn’t stay away any longer. A confluence of peril had entered your life, and I wanted to be within reach, to have influence. I turned myself in to the FBI to point you toward a truth that inevitably you would have to discover for yourself.

Tom aligned himself with Berlin prior to their wedding. He aligned himself with Berlin specifically so he and Liz could get married. That’s according to Red’s stated belief. This belief continues for both Red and Major in season two. 

2x15-

Major: Look, I told you what happened with Tom Keen. This is not my fault. Red: You vouched for him personally, Bill. I hired him on your recommendation. The merchandise was defective. Major: No. Keen was perfect - test scores, aptitude. There was no indication he would become emotionally involved. Red: But he did.

The Contradictions.

Major didn’t allow Tom to turn, nor did he get paid by Berlin for Tom to turn.

2x15-

Major: If I gave you his location, I’d have to betray a client. Red: That shouldn’t be hard, Bill. You betrayed me. You sold me an asset and then allowed him to turn when Berlin offered you twice as much. You’re in debt to me. Recognize this rather fortuitous opportunity for you to begin to make things even. Where can I find Tom Keen?

In fact, Major went off on Tom when he found out about their relationship. 

5x8-

Major: The contractor is livid. You weren’t supposed to get involved with the mark. Tom: Her name is Elizabeth. Major: I don’t care if she’s Queen Elizabeth and screwing her made you king. Get out. He will kill you if you don’t.

Tom’s romantic involvement with Liz began at some point after Red hired him, but also before Red fired/Berlin hired him. That means he was not hired by either Red or Berlin to get romantically involved with Liz. 

Who hired Tom to get involved with Liz?  

Someone did.

1x15-

Tom: I can’t. That’s why I came here, to tell you that I can’t do this because I love my wife. Jolene: Wrong answer! Elizabeth Keen is not your wife, she’s your target! Tom: She’s my what? Jolene: I think you know, Tom. Tom: What is this? Did they send you? Really? To what? Test me? I told you that I was in love with her because that is exactly what I am supposed to be. That - is my job.

Here, Tom admits that his job is to be “in love” with Liz.  Jolene refers to Liz as Tom’s “target.”

1x16-

Tom: You’re not my handler. I don’t work for you. Jolene: Berlin is having doubts. Tom: Yeah? Well, Berlin doesn’t have a damn clue. Do you have any idea how many candidates there were? They chose me. I’ve done everything they asked. I married the woman, for God’s sake. I’ve made her think my entire world revolves around her. And now - it’s been two years, and I’ve heard nothing.

Here, Tom admits doing everything they asked, that includes marrying Liz.

1x19-

Tom: It was the shoes. That’s when I knew. It was those brown leather shoes. It was our third or maybe fourth date. You’d come over to my place on Halstead, and we ordered, uh - takeout and rented a movie that we never finished because we ended up - And you had to get up early for work. And by the time I got up, you were gone. I remember standing in the closet, half-dressed, reaching for my shoes when I saw that you had drawn this little heart In the dust on my shoe. You remember that? It was the sweetest thing. And ever since that moment, I just felt - sorry for you. Because I knew - I knew that I had you. Part of me didn’t want it to work. But it did.

In Tom’s shoe story, he admits that it was his job to basically seduce her, that he didn’t want it to work, but it did. He knew he had her after their third or fourth date because she drew a heart in the dust on his shoe, and he basically felt sorry for her, but that was his job. 

3x7-

Tom: So, here’s the deal. Agent Keen and I were uh, married, as like, a job - you know? But you ever take one of those jobs just to pay the rent, and you find out that you’re - you’re good at it? Karakurt: You cannot excel at anything you do not love. Tom: Well, yeah. I mean, where were you when I was married? I didn’t figure that out till it was over.

Here, Tom admits to marrying Liz as part of a job, that he didn’t realize he was in love with her until it was over. This puts him realizing he was in love with her sometime after episode 1x19. 

3x13-

Gina: That’s why you want in on this? For her? Your phony wife? Tom: We’re not married. Gina: The mark you dumped me for? Here, Gina refers to Liz as Tom’s phony wife and his mark. Phony wife because marrying Liz was part of his job. 

Who was Tom's handler for Berlin?

Here's where things get really chaotic. Not just the employers, but the handlers too. We have two women who knew that Liz was Tom's mark: Gina and Jolene. Red and Major both appearing to believe Tom fell in love with Liz, neither of them commissioning him to so much as get romantically involved with her. Yet he was hired to do so, and even married her because they wanted him to. 

We have Tom referring to Major as his handler.

2x18-

Tom: These Germans want me dead. My handler too. So, please, I need your help. I need the passports.

Unless they lied in Tom's flashback in 5x8, Major didn't "allow" or "get offered twice as much" for Tom to work for Berlin.

We have Tom telling Jolene she’s not his handler. 

1x16-

Tom: You’re not my handler. I don’t work for you.

But we know that Jolene worked for Berlin.

1x16-

Jolene: Berlin is having doubts.

Jolene: We sent word four months ago.

Jolene: Berlin wants information.

The finer details. 

Tom told "Craig Keen" that he's the one accountable to Berlin.

1x18-

Tom: Easy for you to say. I’m the one who is accountable to Berlin. I’m coming to your hotel now.

Tom referred to Constantin while questioning the Russian with Katarina's photograph.

2x20-

Tom: Did the same thing last month. It’s probably why you don’t recognize me. Constantin. Berlin, man, he’s tough. I had to get away for a while, go to Germany, figure a few things out.

Here, he basically connected “Constantin” and “Berlin” in one sentence. A name Alexander Kirk hadn’t used for over 20 years. 

Tom knew where Berlin parked his money.

2x2-

Red: It’s funny. When I was standing there wondering if you had decided to let me die, a thought struck me. How did you know that Berlin had his money in that bank? At first, I thought it was the girl, that she told you. But the accounts would be coded, moved through shell corporations. Layers of protection. And then I realized, “No. Somebody has a secret Santa. A source.” Bravo, Lizzy. When you’re ready to share, I’d love to hear.

Tom also knew about Berlin's arms dealer.

2x7-

Tom: Sevan. Sevan Volkov. He runs arms for Berlin. He’d be able to set a meeting.

Red: I know you were expecting Volkov, but as luck would have it, he sold you out to Agent Keen.

Tom didn’t know of Alexander Kirk. 

3x22-

Red: Alexander Kirk. Tom: I don’t know who that is. Red: The man who ordered the attack on your wedding.

But he believed Alexander Kirk to be Liz’s father. 

4x4-

Liz: I don’t think he’ll hurt her. Tom: Of course he will. She’s his last chance of survival. Liz: If he hurts her, he loses me. Tom: Yeah, and lives.

And he believed this before getting his hands on the fabricated DNA report. 

He was "out" with Red.

2x19-

Tom: I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to be confused about my part in any of this. You, Liz. All of it. I’m out. I’m done.

He was "out" with Major.

2x18-

Tom: These Germans want me dead. My handler, too. So, please, I need your help. I need the passports.

Yet he asked Gina for help getting "out."

3x16-

Tom: So… I could end this right now. I could go find the Major, and I could end him too. Or… we can just agree to just walk away. I don’t come after you, and you don’t come after me or my family. Gina: I should have said yes that night in Budapest. Tom: No, Gina. Listen to me. I’m asking you to help me walk away. Please. Someday, maybe someone will do the same thing for you. Gina: I’ll try.

Gina speaking as if she were an employer of sorts. 

3x17-

Major: You were my finest accomplishment. And my biggest disappointment. Gina: Mine too. Gina: Those last few weeks, when I thought you were dead… I actually missed you. But I meant what I said. You’re my greatest disappointment.

And we have this bit of dialogue from Red to Tom.

5x8-

Red: I’ll say this for you - you’ve always believed that you were acting in her best interest. Selling me out to Berlin, faking her death - you always thought you were helping her.

[run-the-secret-show]

Trip to the Collingwood & Co Studio

On Thursday I arrived per invitation to Tony’s studio in Acton-Town to attend a meeting about TSS with Glynn Hayward and Helen Shroud. Andrea Tran also popped in later on and we all had a wonderful chat together.  I was there for 4 hours (for what was supposed to be a 1 hour meeting), with Helen and Tony regaling me with tales of inside info and what-could-have-beens. I was allowed - even encouraged - to record the whole “interview”, but it turns out that the phone I was using didn’t actually save it (A real “Secret Spider” moment for sure). Everyone was absolutely charming, and apart from the recording flub it was a lovely day that couldn’t’ve gone better.

Highlights include, to the best of my recollection:

• If the website is to return it might have to be heavily re-structured to cope with Flash essentially being a dead platform at this point. • Roy was voiced by Tony’s son Harry • The Commander in Secret Spider is called Vin, and the female actor from World Savers is Jilly • Ray’s name is Raymondo not Ray Mondo - and it’s Zebulons not Zurbulons. • VANITOR IS CANON AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN CANON • CD “drinks too much” - the lines “I’ll stay here and hold the port” and “12%? That’s all the proof I need!” are references to this, in addition to his wine-bottle wrapping in Secret Santa and his favourite food in one of the books being Madeira cake, the main ingredient of which is wine.  • Victor’s lesser-noticed catchphrase of “Aw, c’mon..!” is inspired by the fact that Alan Marriott actually says it quite a lot in real life.  • Masters were located for 2 full 1/2-hour Nicktoons broadcasts, completely uncompressed, and there are likely more - although we still don’t know exactly how many were modified.

• Masters for 4 previously-unknown shorts were discovered, with the theme of “What’s The Deal With _____?” - Helen was greatly surprised they weren’t on the DVDs as the Profile shorts had taken their place. (can’t find the photo of the master as we only found it towards the end of the day but I have a pic of Helen’s copy)

• An unused villain was going to be The Puddle Heads, sworn nemesis's of The Floaty Heads - he couldn’t find the concept art for them so he drew one in front of me to keep! I shouldn’t say much about them except that you might be seeing them sooner than you think... • There were initially plans for each 4-digit code in the episode to each unlock something different individually on the website - this was never implemented as they never made enough goodies to cover 52 different codes. • Helen used to have a copy of the show’s entire soundtrack on her iPod until it broke. • Tony knows about the DeviantArt fanfics. To hear him actually say the site’s name out loud was a very surreal moment indeed.  • The disclaimer that the Bogie Ball blooper was “deemed Too Gross for national television” is actually true - everything except the end of that scene was actually going to be in the original episode but the BBC said it was too much. • There’s a 4th BTS called “The Music Of the Secret Show”, which would’ve been with Roger Jackson - we found the master for the 3rd one (“The Sounds Of The Secret Show”) but not the 4th. • There were also 4 PP Lectures made, which means there are two of those that have never been released either. • The Space Wasps (from What’s In The Box and Planet PP) have a different origin in both simply because they needed to reuse the assets. • Tony had the entire plot to the potential Series 3 opener all planned out, and gleefully recounted the first half of it to me in great detail. I’ll keep the specifics mum for the time being just in case it ever ends up happening after all - but I’ll say that it would’ve been amazing. Also Tony totally should’ve been a VA, his voices were great. • Everyone was fascinated by the number of international dubs I’d managed to collect, and when I showed them the Latino-Mexican intro there was much groaning and laugher all ‘round. Speaking of which, we discovered a sampler-disc of the Catalan dub that even Tony was surprised they had:

• The reason why it’s never revealed what CD won his medal on the Mantlepiece for is because nobody could think of anything funny enough to warrant revealing. • Unbeknownst to anyone, the physical masters for episodes 7 and 28 were AWOL from their designated boxes and remain unaccounted for, although they are still stored digitally - I know this because I re-sorted their entire TSS disc-archive for them while I was there. Andrea was happy for the heads-up and Helen gladly suggested I make a note of it on the box. • Martin Hyder was hired almost by accident - he was called in just to record the Temp Track for Stephen Fry’s lines in the pilot as Fry had to record them separately. Someone asked Martin to fill in a line for Ray, and he suited the role so well that they casted him on the spot. • The One Breath Lady was both voiced by and inspired by one of the writers, Jimmy Hibbert. Tony recounted that Jim had a habit of speaking in run-on sentences for so long that your eyes would be watering on his behalf, willing him to actually inhale some air and take a goddamned breath once in a while.  • There was an event known as “Spy Day” in which a whole bunch of children were brought together to do TSS-themed spy activities. There are two separate recordings of this. • Tony knew that Nicktoons had once broadcast The Martian Dub (Sep 20th ‘08) but Helen was unaware. Her reaction to finding out was amazing. • Anita’s parents were never given a backstory simply because they were never relevant to the plot - Anita’s aquatic origins shall remain a mystery.... • Glynn and I both agreed that due to internet speeds and technology advancing a truly substantial way since 2006, remastering the site’s audio from 22050Hz to 44100Hz is completely feasible, and that I could even help resample it. Tony and Helen admitted they’d lost us completely during our nerd-out which we all had a good laugh over.  • Tony asked completely of his own volition if I knew of TheSecretShow4You, which is of course our friend and empress, the Vanitor Queen. He greatly admires how much she has come up with over the years and says he loved the 10th Anniversary video. • Helen was very surprised to learn that the first 24 episodes had reaired all throughout last April this year in Germany - presumably Disney Germany renewed their licence. Speaking of which:

• The Spider was supposed to appear in Secret Sleep - about 6 minutes in, crawling on the front edge of the bed just before PP falls asleep. Neither DVD nor Broadcast version has this due to a rendering error, although they didn’t actually believe me at the time:

The top photo is from “The Book Of Revelations” - a pair of .pdfs that track every single hidden thing from every episode along with a few other things. They are now in the Google Drive folder under “Books” for your viewing pleasure. • I gave Tony my still-shrink-wrapped copy of the Italian Vol4 DVD as a gift for basically putting up with my wall-of-text emails over the last three years. In return I was presented with a take-home copy of the 2004 Pilot version of Lucky Leo as Tony still had a few copies left. It is now in the Drive under “Rare Broadcasts” - you will notice more than a few differences to the final version, I’m sure:

• There was an entire marketing pack produced of which only two exist. Photos of literally everything from it are in the “Studio Visit 02/11/17″ folder, along with all the master discs that we found in the cupboard.

• Two Betamax masters were found as well - I don’t know about you but I thought that was absolutely amazing:

The second tape contains an 11-minute Interview with Tony about the show which has never been shown outside the industry. • A prototype of the UK version of Vol2 was also discovered, along with two different prototypes of Vol1 - Sadly none were found of 3 or 4 as BBC WW were actually the ones who pressed them, Col & Co simply handing the files over to them to compile.

And last but certainly not least: • This morning, the day after the meeting, Glynn emailed me several files from his archive of the website which were previously lost - the U.Z.Z./T.H.E.M. Doorhangers, the CD Cutout, The Spiderbikes game (literally called spaceinvaders.swf) and the rarest of all, the 2007 Easter Exclusive Site Map - available now at your local Website Downloads folder. He also kindly sent some original concept art for the games that he’d drawn himself back in the day, including one that never made the cut, of which I will make another post about separately. (if you want a sneaky peek, look in the Cocept Art & BTS folder...!) One final thing, for now at least - While I was there Helen and Tony deigned to show me the trailer for their newest series, “Thorgar” -  I was “the first person under 30 to see it” and I can tell you now it’s absolutely amazing. Seriously, as soon as it starts airing you guys need to watch it immediately, it’s spectacular.