#the core of their relationship is that they are extremely similar and kyoko is the only one who truly recognises it

[magical-xirl-4]

the amount of catharsis i just felt when i read this section

[ghostietea]

On Tohru and Akito: a long overdue analysis

As some may know, Tohru Honda and Akito Sohma from the manga Fruits Basket are pretty much my all time favorite protagonist/antagonist pair. They just work incredibly well as thematic pieces and driving forces of the story in relation to eachother. And beyond even the surface level they have a rich and layered goldmine of parallels that make them fascinating to think about. While it may make many a newbie raise an eyebrow, I think this is a fact that is to some level pretty widely acknowledged in the fandom proper. However, there is another level of their relationship that is often mostly left out of analytical conversations about them and their parallels: their eventual friendship. Something which, partly due to screentime, is often somewhat simplified down and misinterpreted. Which I think is a shame because, when you look at it, their eleventh hour friendship is deeply interwoven with their parallels and the very thematics and ending of the story. So then, what’s really going on with the girls that stand as part of the thematic core of Furuba? Beyond (most of, true analytical objectivity is impossible in interpretation) my personal sentimental feelings, let’s talk Akito and Tohru: their parallels, relationship, and role in the story overal. Read more present, this is going to be a long one but I hope you stick around 😊

One facet of Akito and Tohru’s role in relationship to eachother that I think is both interesting and imperative to understanding their purpose is their nature as eachother’s foils, especially their parallels. See, the two girls are both opposite and the same. Takaya sets them up as foils before we even properly meet Akito, as you can see in these panels: 

However, their foil relationship becomes a lot more intriguing once their similarities become more apparent later in the story. Just think about it: two girls with boy’s names whose fathers died when they were young, leaving them alone with their mothers, who both developed behavior that, according to the environment that they grew up in, would keep them from being abandoned. Akito, coming from the cultish Sohma clan where she was treated as a God to the point that she thinks she can do no wrong and has tied all of her self worth to the role, plays the part of a male ruler who must uphold tradition and keep the zodiac with her by any means. Akito is terrified of being abandoned, especially since she has no idea how to have relationships outside of the context of the bond, only exacerbated by the fact that Ren, one of the only people that openly questions her role, has constantly told her that she’s useless and will be abandoned. This is something that informs all of her (many, terrible) decisions and leads her to try desperately to keep the curse together, something which puts her in direct conflict with Tohru, who actually wants the curse broken in part so that she won’t be abandoned. Tohru may not be as obvious with her abandonment issues as miss screeches-at-people-not-to-leave-her, but they still inform a good deal of her character. Like Akito, she develops behavior around the time of her father’s passing to try to keep herself from being abandoned, mirroring her father’s proper speech because she was worried that she was losing Kyoko.  But, as she grew older in her much warmer environment, Tohru turned to kindness instead of fear to capture others, maintaining a facade of extreme positivity, politeness, and determination so as to not bother anyone. And, while she hides it, Tohru just gets worse after losing her mother. She becomes dedicated to preserving her feelings about her mother as is, refusing to move on much as Akito also refuses to move on from the curse and what her father wanted. Then comes the beach house reveal, where Tohru learns that Akito plans to take away her new family, even locking up the one most precious to her. Tohru tells herself that she’s going to break the curse for the freedom of the zodiac and cat, but she is also, in a way, doing it to keep herself from being abandoned. Later this feeling changes to become more focused on preventing the loss of Kyo himself, something which Tohru doesn’t want to admit. Tohru is a truly good and kind person and does want to help, yes, but also some part of her is doing this to keep the ones she loves by her side, understandably as she is a teen that recently lost the person she revolved her whole life around. But it comes to a point that you have to realize: Akito and Tohru are both motivated by the same thing, they just present it in wildly different ways. I don’t think that I have to explain how exactly their behavior foils eachother, the more worldly and modern Tohru acting on radical kindness and acceptance and thinking she deserves nothing while the sheltered, traditional Akito uses manipulation and fear to get what she thinks she is entitled to. It’s very apparent, but just gets even spicier in the context of how similar they are. Another parallel is in Tohru’s mom picture vs Akito’s father box, both relics of their dead and favorite parent that they are extremely protective of and treat almost like it is their deceased parent. Early in the series Tohru is seen carrying around a photo of her mom which she talks to, something which seems pretty harmless, until we consider how terrified she is every time she thinks she’s lost it, even going as far as to refer to it as if it were her mother.  Notably, it barely shows up in the second half of the series, as she reluctantly drifts away from her mom and towards Kyo. In this later part of the series, we are introduced to Akito’s box, which she (semi, it’s complicated) thinks contains her father’s soul. Akito’s box is shown in a much darker light, from how the reveal of what it us to her is framed to how cruelly she reacts when it’s being stolen. Akito’s box is to Tohru’s photo what their owners narratively are to eachother: a dark mirror.

Ok, and now for the reason that I think it was important to bring all these parallels up first: because as you cannot understand Tohru and Akito as enemies without understanding their differences, you cannot understand them as friends without knowing their similarities. While it is easy to write off Tohru reaching out to Akito as just another case of Tohru being Tohru, that does a disservice to the full picture. I’ve seen around in the fandom that a good deal of people seem to think Tohru trying to befriend her is just Tohru being overly kind and forgiving, and this is something I think ties back a bit to some early fandom misconceptions about Tohru. Bear with me for a second, this is going to be a bit of a tangent but it ties back. It’s died down some now, but in the early Furuba fandom it was very common to just think of Tohru as a pretty flat nice girl doormat character, which besides misogyny is probably partially the fault of the 01 anime, which cuts off before we get to see more of Tohru’s insecurities and tones down what we do see (also, in the case of the relationship I’m talking about, 01 ads in that God awful end confrontation that I despise for being everything that I’m about to argue the ACTUAL confrontation that I like is not). Manga Tohru is a very subtle character, she hides a lot of her feelings behind a perpetually happy front which doesn’t start to let slip until later. And, since it’s later on in the manga which went unadapted for years and is mixed in with a bunch of crazy stuff, I think Tohru’s quiet development is often somewhat overlooked. For example, early series Tohru is very well known for the speeches she gives to the zodiac when she first meets them, speeches that, importantly, always tie back to things that her mom said. Tohru’s worldview back then revolved completely around Kyoko, so it’s probably a bit of a thing that in the later story, when Tohru draws ever nearer to the realization that she must move on, she does not give her mom speeches anymore? As opposed to the early story, when it was pretty much back to back character intros, in the late story Tohru notably only gets to befriend two new Sohmas: Isuzu and Akito. Notably, she doesn’t quote her mom either time, these are both people that she can relate to on some of her more hidden issues, and she shows a more personal side of her emotions in her turning point confrontations with them than she did earlier. It is especially important to realize that, in her confrontation on the cliff, Tohru is deciding that she is willing to go against her mom. Early series Tohru was a front anyways, and is a different Tohru from the one that finally gets through to Akito. I was using it as an example, but the evolution of Tohru’s befriending confrontations will be important later. Furthermore, there is the perception of Tohru as a doormat. Listen, Tohru may be very kind and polite, but one of her defining characteristics is being very determined and strong willed when need be. This is something that is especially relevant to her interactions with Akito. From the first meeting outside the school, Tohru knows to be wary of Akito and even breaks politeness and shoves her when she senses that Akito is making Yuki uncomfortable. This sets up immediately that Tohru can and will stand up to Akito. This is driven in even farther at the beach house, when Tohru, after again physically getting between Akito and a zodiac, decides that she will directly go against all of the Sohma family’s centuries of tradition and Akito herself to break the curse.  There’s even a cute moment when, upon remembering Akito telling her not to, Tohru just decides to meddle even harder. Tohru, while polite about it, does not like Akito and puts herself in direct opposition to her. Tohru does not originally want to be Akito’s friend, or to have anything to do with her. The cliff scene is not just Tohru befriending someone because she just is over forgiving and loves everyone (an argument can be made that she still goes to easy on Akito, but it’s in line with how the narrative treats her too so that’s another conversation), there was a specific reason both that she chose to try to get through to Akito and that it actually worked. Up until their big confrontation, Tohru still thinks of Akito as a threat, and while she has gotten more information that shakes up her view of Akito, she still doesn’t understand her well enough to see her as much more than an obstacle. Then Akito barges into her yard when she’s just been rejected, crying and confessing how terrified she is of being abandoned, of things changing, and Tohru just goes still, eyes wide in shock. And she realizes: her and Akito have been afraid of the same thing the whole time.  This is when Tohru decides to try to reach out to her. Because Tohru, on a deep level, sees Akito because of their similarities.  She calls Akito out on her insecurities, and Akito reacts badly, accusing Tohru of being “dirty” and trying to condescend.  Tohru partially rebukes this, not trying to hold herself above Akito as pure and righteous, but instead confessing her own fears of abandonment and change in an attempt to empathize with Akito.

At this part of the story, Tohru is fully coming into the realization that, in order to live her life, she needs to stop clinging to this idea of an “unchanging” relationship with her mom, something that scares her quite a bit. She realizes that, while she saw the flaws in Akito’s “eternity” and tried to destroy it, she had not been as perceptive with herself, clinging to that same notion. Tohru is an incredibly repressed character, especially in regards to emotions she thinks of as “dirty,” and she is showing a remarkable amount of vulnerability in this scene. Another thing to note about Tohru is that she, in her immense repression, will often process her own issues through other people. We see this throughout the story, from her showing grief over her mom by crying for Momiji and his mom to her projecting her fear of losing Kyo onto Kureno and Arisa. So then, it’s quite something to consider that the last Sohma she befriends is the one most emblematic of the issues she keeps locked up tightest? That as she’s speaking to her she’s deciding to move forward from her own fears? In a way, could accepting Akito be a symbol of Tohru accepting what she thinks are the darker parts of herself? Akito is also coming to a realization about moving on, acknowledging that the zodiac curse is coming to an end and that everything she believes is a lie, and she is absolutely distraught about it. But Tohru, in a way that nobody else does, understands Akito, and wants Akito to be her friend. Not out of pity or reverence, but a desire for solidarity. And this is the very reason why Tohru was actually able to get through to Akito. As we see with Kureno before he gets stabbed and Momiji at the beach house and when his curse breaks, it’s not like people haven’t kindly tried to get through to her before.

Of course, the reason it worked for Tohru can also be partially chalked up to the fact that Akito herself has come a long ways in personal realizations to the point that there’s just some things she can’t deny anymore, but that’s not all. Akito tends to react very negatively to what she sees as condescension, she thinks people want to try to pick her apart and see how she ticks just so they can look down on her, so they can see her as lesser. She thinks Tohru is trying to condescend too at first, especially since she perceives Tohru as this holier than thou saint wannabe. Fascinatingly, Akito’s view of Tohru is incredibly similar to that early fandom idea of Tohru as an angelic mary sue, and she hates her for it. She thinks that Tohru is trying to be like this and is seen as such, and that she (Akito) is the only who can see that Tohru is wrong somehow.

But Tohru rejects this notion of a pure her that both the fandom and her early self tried to project, presenting herself as flawed and human and purposefully trying to not put herself on a pedestal above Akito. She makes it very clear that she’s not trying to condescend, she is the same way (well, sorta) and she gets it. Notably, after this point Akito doesn’t accuse her of looking down on her, instead freaking out temporarily because of how much Tohru called her out before venting about her fears to her. And, while, partially due to outside circumstances, it does take Akito a bit longer to accept her offer of friendship, she legitimately manages to get through to her very soon after this point. If Tohru had tried one of her early series mom speeches on Akito, or just tried to blindly accept her without understanding, it would not have worked. Akito would have just written it off or reacted badly and left it there. But because Tohru tried to befriend Akito out of understanding as an equal it actually worked. You can’t separate Akito and Tohru’s parallels and their eventual friendship because one aspect is integral to the other.

A connected aspect of their relationship that I see talked of very little but is actually a pretty strong undercurrent is that of equality and power. To explain this, we have to look at Akito for a bit. Throughout her life, pretty much everyone around Akito has either put her on a pedestal or looked down on her. This is something that not only greatly damaged the way she thinks of herself and others, but has given her an intensely hierarchical view of relationships. We even see this notion clearly take form for her in the black paint scene, where she decides that Yuki, who she’d previously seen as the same as her, has to be lesser or else she will become useless.  From the moment Akito was born she was “God,” an existence above everyone else. Even her own father only seems to give her affection for being God, and when he dies and she takes his place as the head of the family she is just elevated even farther at an extremely young age. The only people (she thinks) she’s close to are the zodiac, and the curse itself puts an inherent power dynamic into that relationship that can only be overcome with its undoing. Akito clings to her power, to her rank in the hierarchy, all the while the very thing she desperately upholds has made her the real outsider. Akito, who does everything in the name of belonging, was always alone from the start. As Tohru points out, as long as she is above the group she cannot be a part of it.

Simultaneously, and almost contradictory to the pedestalization and power dynamic aspect, Akito is extensively coddled and pitied. A lot of the older adults around her treat her almost like a crotchety, spoiled child. A child who is coddled to the point of never being given any reprimand or instruction on just how to behave like a functional human being until things have gone far too far. Then you have cases like Kureno, who seems to still see Akito like a kid, pretty much just coddles her as a job, and only stays because he pities her. This leads to a strange dual sided dynamic in multiple cases, where Akito is seen as someone’s better and has more power but is also being looked down upon in a way too. Akito has never in her life been seen and treated as an equal, so it’s pretty important when it is made clear that Tohru tries to befriend her as an equal. After all this time, Tohru, an outsider that is not under Akito’s control, who can hold her ground in a challenge against her, is finally the one to meet her on the same level. There’s this page that I adore that symbolizes this idea really nicely. It opens on a panel of Akito sitting a distance away from the zodiac who are all having fun together, a motif we’ve already seen a few times, but this time Tohru sits down right next to her.

This page comes at a critical moment, when Tohru is offering her hand in friendship to Tohru, it’s Akito realization of what Tohru is trying to do. Later on, we get Akito narrating what this page was showing, which I think I just need to put in:

We also see a bit of their conversation after they reunite in the hospital later, where Tohru again denies that she is better than Akito. Now, I think both the Tokyopop and Yen Press translations of this scene are a bit weird, the Tokyopop version uses the word “pretty” (confusing) while the Yen Press uses “kind” (don’t think that’s the best word). However one time I saw like a Malaysian english release in the half price books that used “pretty on the inside” and I like that best so I’ll just pretend that’s it.

I think this scene is interesting because it could seem like they’re just talking about morality but that’s not it. This is, once again, Tohru pretty explicitly trying to stop the creation of any sort of hierarchy between her and Akito. It’s not about right or wrong, Tohru know very well that Akito’s done things wrong and actively worked to stop her, it’s about not wanting them to be put on some sort of different rank based on morality and Tohru understanding Akito enough to empathize with the fact that (wrong or no) Akito was really hurt by Tohru and they won’t get anywhere if they don’t acknowledge that. Furthermore, I’ve already talked a bit about it already, but I think the way that Tohru asserts that she gets what Akito’s feeling and thinks she herself is “dirty” during their confrontation is relevant here too. She is, again, presenting herself as someone on the same level who understands Akito and is not being nice out of pity. This then leads to the page I talked about before which is again, Akito realizing this! This is a huge moment for her, someone who has had all of her relationships messed up by inequality and has no idea how to have a normal relationship, who is having a breakdown because she thinks that because of this it’s too late for anyone to love her, to have someone who understands her and wants to meet her on the same level. Even if she tries to deny it and shift blame, at this point Akito has realized that the zodiac bond is not what she thought and that she has been acting horribly. The groundwork is already there for Akito to have a change of heart, especially considering that a lot of her horribleness stems from legitimate extreme ignorance and her obsession with the bond so once she’s snapped out of that… The main thing that’s holding her back past that is that she’s panicking and cannot see a way forward. So then when there’s someone who actually gets where she’s coming from instead of just tolerating her and is offering her the sort of friendship that she’s never gotten to have of course she’d go for it! Tohru Honda has proven Akito wrong in ever way and, in the end, she even proves her wrong on her greatest fear: that she can only be wanted because she’s God. Because of Akito’s specific issues, nothing could have been more powerful for her than someone coming to her as an equal. Again, the piece about why Tohru could get through to her. It just wouldn’t be the same if Tohru didn’t have a reason to want Akito around or if she somehow saw Akito as below her, the very core of their relationship is the destruction of hierarchies. From the beginning Tohru has been trying to destroy the hierarchy of the zodiac, and when it comes down to it she does not take Akito’s spot at the top, but decides to stand beside her and the zodiac instead. Early in the series we see Akito trying to have some power over Tohru through fear, but when the time comes and Akito is pretty much defeated Tohru does not take power as the victor, hoping that Akito joins her instead of being somehow defeated. And at the end of it all this works, and Akito dissolves the zodiac and with it most of her power and her godhood of her own accord. 

Despite their relative lack of page time, Tohru and Akito’s relationship has always been something that I come back to. Sure, a lot of that is just sentiment as they meant a lot to me when I was younger, but I think there’s something there. They work amazingly as protagonist and antagonist, contrasting nicely and working as symbols of both sides of the thematic conflict. There’s a palpable tension to their early interactions that makes you both scared and interested to see what happens when these two inevitably have to go head to head. But then, as the story goes on, it seems more and more like they are a tragedy, so similar yet on different sides of the story, fated to have one of them stuck with an unhappy ending brought on by the other.

But, even as dark as it gets, that wouldn’t really be Fruits Basket, would it? In the end, Tohru and Akito’s similarities win out, not their differences. I think it would have been so easy to just make this a story where the sweet heroine “saves” the villain just because, but that is so blatantly not what’s going on. Tohru simply sees herself in Akito, she’s not trying to somehow fix her and nor should she have to, she just wants to be her friend. And then the two manage to overcome their driving fear of moving on, forging new bonds and inspired by their interaction with the other. It’s not like Tohru somehow fixes Akito’s problems, Akito has to do things herself and in fact independence is a big theme of her endgame arc. Tohru simply offered her friendship, and that was enough. There’s a distinction to be made between how Tohru inspires Akito and Tohru somehow “saving” her, because Akito very much has to learn to save herself in the end after a lifetime of pushing her issues onto others. And, as a side note, all this is sort of why it bugs me when people act like Tohru would be like a mom to Akito. First off, Tohru shouldn’t have to be the mom to everyone. And, kind as she is, Tohru is also not a Kureno, she sees and interacts with Akito in a completely different way and their relationships with Akito are one of the big points were Tohru and Kureno differ. Second off, Akito has spent her life coddled and clinging onto anything that she can hold onto as a resemblance of parental affection to a toxic degree. Part of her arc is that she needs to grow out of this, become more independent, and have more balanced relationships. Akito at this point does not want or need to make a mommy figure out of one of her peers, and doing so may in fact be regressive. Sure, she will definitely need a level of guidance going forward, but it would be more beneficial for her to learn from example and under more of a friendly, balanced context coming from multiple people, not one person holding her hand. For all the reasons I’ve gone over in this entire post, I think it is much more meaningful for Akito to have Tohru as what she was canonically presented as in text: someone who sees her as an equal. The whole point of their relationship is, again, the defiance of hierarchies, something which I think is often sorely overlooked even though it is very openly there in text. And that, in part, is why I think their relationship is so powerful to me. Beyond hero and villain, right or wrong, or any story roles, it’s about two girls finding solidarity and friendship on a very personal, human level. This is Akito for the first time being seen not as this distant, untouchable male deity or some pitiful being, but as a flawed, hurt human girl who is nonetheless capable of change and being loved. This is Tohru coming out of hiding, presenting her flawed, terrified human self to someone she saw as an enemy. Fruits basket is, in part, a story about friendship and defeating systems of power and abuse. Even in a messy third act that muddles its themes at times by weighing character endings too heavily on het romantic love, especially in regards to the women (Hello Rin, Machi, Uo, ect.), Tohru and Akito stand out as a friendship that is given a huge amount of narrative weight. It just feels nice that, in a story that often focused on the power of relationships between women only to ditch all that and focus primarily on their relationships with men, these two girls are one of the driving forces of the endgame. The curse didn’t get broken by romantic love, but by the friendships everyone made along the way, including Tohru and Akito. Tohru has gotten it to this point, and now Akito just needs to bring it to a close and finally end things. At the very beggining, before this all started, all the cat wanted was for the God was to move forward and live as a person among the humans, and, finally, a long time later that wish was granted. The tale of the zodiac gets its happy ending not by a villain being defeated, but by the power of friendship and solidarity between women.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.  

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

 “even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered  when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU. 

 2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s  toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t  automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication  wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now.  He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer. 

Side Notes:

 I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!!  Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without  disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD. 

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

Okay so continued from this ask about Kyoko

Anyways, as introduced in THH, Kyoko is an extremely distant person with an iron mask, which intimidates everyone around her.

Everytime she happens to be described, she is described as something akin to a ghost aka not someone belonging to this world because of how ethereal her presence is.

She was moulded (read: traumatized) by her grandpa to become a detective to the extent that she was desperate to prove herself to him to not get kicked out like her father (she was also manipulated into believing that her father left because he didn't care about her by said grandpa) since her grandpa was...well the only one who had showed her a proper modicum of love at that point.

Her family took being a detective as something involving an extreme amount of honour which resulted in her trauma.

She also... didn't know what she was apart from a "perfect Detective" and was terrified of that internally (she has a LOT of parallels with Nagito which is why I REALLY want them to team up atleast ONCE likedanganronpaIambeggingyou), since she felt like an empty husk due to repressing her emotions since forever.

Because that's how a true detective should be (...it's really scary how MUCH she fits my own ideal of a detective), operating by cold hard logic to uncover the truth from the messy web of lies and make it known. A detective was to not take sides, nor aspire for fame (coughSherlockHolmescough), they must always remain neutral and not let personal feelings or prejudices come into the way, and she followed that.

Now, in the first game (I assume it was the worst for her since all she knew about herself was simply that she's a detective), everyone loses their memories of their school life with each other, leading them to believe that they had just met. They all remember their Ultimate Talents (heads up: An Ultimate Talent is something that you must be the very best at in your particular field in your age group. If you are like that, then Hope's Peak Academy personally scouts you and you are invited to attend the school as an "Ultimate"), apart from Kyoko.

Yeah, she quite possibly forgot that she was a detective, or atleast she forgot that she was the Ultimate of it, nevertheless, the main source of her self confidence and rigidity was lost to vague memory, which I believe caused her closed off ness to be more exaggerated, since I believe she was TERRIFIED. Imagine the one thing you stake your identity on....which you end up forgetting.

Throughout the game, she basically carries the class trials by herself and is virtually the only reason the six survivors are actually survivors.

However due to her upbringing, she has another issue which happens to be...

....severe trust issues. She has been told not to trust anyone and considering that they are in a literal KILLING GAME, you really can't blame her.

However, this leads to her downfall.

In Chapter 3, she disappears since she has presumably found a secret passage in the bathroom which she was investigating along with the school to find the secret of the Killing Game and the mastermind. She refuses to trust her classmates and shoulders the entire responsibility onto herself, since she desperately wants to uncover the truth....

.....her motto which she has been clinging onto for dear life, underneath all the turmoil.

Makoto (our sweet sweet protagonist, the nicest person ever in Danganronpa) notices this and gently tells her that she can rely on him....that she doesn't have to shoulder everything by herself. He doesn't act pushy, he just tells her that it's okay for her to trust people since she literally looked dazed when she came back in Chapter 3, and she goes,

"Okay, I will give this trusting people thing a try."

She then trusts him with the secret of the bathroom hidden passage but he ends up getting attacked and in bed. F.

Anyways, that causes him to become the target of the mastermind.

Now Kyoko, apparently due to her training is capable of hearing "Reaper's footsteps" aka she can "hear" when her or someone she really loves's death is close.

Now, when Makoto nearly gets killed by the mastermind, Kyoko hears it and fights them off. The mastermind had been planning to kill Makoto and frame her as his killer which she realised so she stays at his room until she's sure the danger has passed.

Anyways, she obviously leaves and then the rest of the classmates discover a dead body whose mask they try to take off but it explodes and Makoto notices that they are dressed the same way as his attacker was. Kyoko arrives way late which makes him wonder whether she had killed that person or not.

Fast forward to the trial where she says that it's now or never for her.

Anyways.

What we have to remember about Kyoko is her MAIN motivation aka solving the mystery. She wouldn't hesitate to make sacrifices to get to it. She is dedicated to her job.

[We also have to remember that she spent her life travelling from place to place, always shifting schools, causing a lack of proper attachments. The only attachment she had was her grandpa until she met Yui Samidare who dies pretty soon during a case via self sacrifice for Kyoko in a way. During all this, her motto and her dedication to it were the only constants].

Anyways.

The mastermind attempted to frame Kyoko for that particular dead body, but Kyoko manipulated the whole trial and framed Makoto as the culprit instead to save her own life.

Makoto gets sent to the execution but doesn't die since his Ultimate Luck talent saves him and he gets thrown into a trash dumpster.

Kyoko comes to save him and apologises. A small sign of trust since she literally never does that. Makoto was virtually the only one she trusted since despite her frosty exterior, he tried to get to know her, but didn't push and just gave her space......and said trust in her backfired and caused him to nearly die but anyways—.

At that point, Kyoko has remembered her Ultimate Talent (Ultimate Detective) and she trusts Makoto with that. She further trusts Makoto with telling him about her frustrations against her father. She didn't even admit them to herself until much much later.....and she trusts him enough to say that.....

....maybe because of how easily he forgave her but eh—

Anyways, she finds her father's skeleton in a nice little box, gift wrapped and everything which causes her to lose her composure ever so slightly and Makoto leaves to give her space to collect herself.

~~~~~

Even though the first game was essentially Hope VS Despair, it was also about Trust.

Since if you do not trust in the feeling of Hope, you will fall into despair.

Something we can see with Kirigiri in a way.

Kyoko being a detective is possibly the best way to broach the topic of trust, since lies and truth are directly connected to it.

If you are truthful with someone, then that usually means that you trust them.

Kyoko's motto was to remain neutral and without biases which caused her to actually develop a bias, nearly getting her best friend killed.

She wanted to solve the mystery and uncover the truth, however she also realised that without trusting others with some modicum of the truth, she wouldn't be able to do so.

When she arrives at the very end of Goodbye Despair in the 6th trial, it's nice to see her relationship with trust having grown enough to give the Remnants a second chance by trusting that they would be able to find the core truth inside themselves to break free from the lies crafted by the mastermind's brainwashing.

Hajime finds his own truth and decides to go "fuck this, I will make my OWN future" due to this.

[She ALSO finds out that her father was involved in Hajime's inhumane brainwashing which probably just destroyed her last bit of trust towards Hope's Peak Academy but eh].

In DR3, when she holds Naegi's hand with her ungloved burnt hands, it's a symbol of HOW much her trust has grown in order for her to bare her wounds like this to reach to him and pull him out of his own despair.

In conclusion: She's the best person ever and deserves the world

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHE SAW A WRAPPED GIFT OF HER FATHER'S SKELETON AND 'LOST HER COMPOSURE SLIGHTLY'???!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.

also she sounds creepily like you and kinda like me too this is so weird also she had daddy issues vibes I KNEW IT

Also i was so irrationally excited at the prospect of a nagito and kyoko pairing like its not like id be able to read it anyways but then i realised. it would be VERY similar to the sheep scene in loki. the sheer xNTx vibes my GOD.

also this is pretty much what happened to nico too and im scared of how we kin such similar characters im terrified

[tuchimuchibrainvomit]

A Weekend of Emotions — A Review of Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion ft. Philosophic Discussion

Last weekend, I hung out with my big brother and my best friends. This was always normal, we’d game, get drunk, eat good food, etc. However, something happened last weekend that I didn’t expect. A lot of emotions were expressed. Like A LOT... And I wanna talk about that and more in my Brain Vomit review for Puella Magi Madoka Magica Movie: Rebellion. Let me explain...

As you guys can PROBABLY tell by now, Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion is my favorite anime movie. But, I’ll say it now, Rebellion is my favorite movie of all time. I believe it is the perfect film for me. Even with its flaws. Even with its pacing issues. Even knowing how controversial it is. In fact, that’s probably 60% of the reason I think the ending works so well. And while this isn’t a play by play of the movie and everything I liked...

What I want to talk about are emotions, philosophy and how Rebellion — and Madoka as a whole — tackles different responses based on one’s philosophical views. First, context: When “mah bois” and I were wrapping up the Madoka Series, we were going through Rebellion (I was the only one out of us who saw Rebellion and had a blast trying to deflect theories on the twists and turns) but then something caught me really off guard. And it was something I hadn’t expected...

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE ENTIRE PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA SERIES!

At around the 2/3 of the way through, Homura realizes that the Magical Girls are all trapped in a false representation of their town, Mitakihara City. A good portion of the film is just figuring out what the fuck is going on. And it is a very compelling mystery. Revealing that it is a Witch’s Barrier, a distorted world created by a Witch.

(Tangent: I’m currently writing a case study on the Netflix’s Death Note Movie and writing a mystery. I recommend reading that when I finish it, as well to see these ideas come back in the forefront.)

The strength of the mystery comes down to the series’ ending. As in the series’ ending, titular character Madoka Kaname wished for a world where Witches — the antagonists and unfortunately the final stage of a Magical Girl’s life — could not exist. In this action she becomes a concept known as the Law of Cycles — where as a Magical Girl falls into despair, instead of becoming a Witch, The Magical Girl will be taken to Magical Girl Heaven. But in this wish and action, Madoka’s existence is erased, becoming a concept -- a God.

All except Time Turning Magical Girl Homura Akemi (and Madoka’s little brother for some reason) have forgotten about her... In Rebellion -- which takes place shortly after the series’ epilogue -- Homura realizes that the false Mitakihara City is the work of a Witch and realizes that the only person who could become a Witch because she knew about them as well as Madoka’s existence was Homura herself. In a powerful scene where her false Mitakihara City collapses, she pulls out a pistol and shoots her Soul Gem, realizing that she is the Witch —

— And while that scene still shakes me, and we watched it in English and honestly, some of Cristina Vee’s best work (just sayin’).

In that moment, I look to my brother to see his response and for the first time in my life, I saw him cry. In fact, my best friend was also caught off guard by his reaction. We wondered if he was OK — I even brought over tissues from the bathroom. We thought something was wrong, but in reality, he was emotionally broken by the scene. The fact that Homura’s effort was for not and the crushing weight of that moment was powerful for him. And that’s when it really hit me just how powerful a philosophy can really bring out certain emotions. The feeling of failure, the pointlessness of effort was something real for him. And yet, from my perspective, it was something I couldn’t relate to.

In all honesty, I’ve never been disparaged by the idea of pointlessness in one’s actions — but I tend to be more of an Absurdist philosophically.

This is where the real meat begins...

In layman terms, the idea of Absurdism — a derivative of Existentialism — and states that the universe is SO illogical, that trying to find meaning and logic in it is a fruitless endeavor. The idea is that it is better to accept the absurdity of existence and find personal happiness in spite of it. embracing what life has to offer is the core theme of Absurdist theory. Similar to Existentialism, the idea is of taking one’s freedom in the universe to make something out of it.

While Existentialism focuses on creating one’s own personal meaning, Absurdism focuses on rebelling against the universe — taking Existentialism to an extreme where personal freedom and agency trumps the search for any meaning. Living life for the sake of living life and enjoying it to the fullest, even if no meaning needs to be conjured.  It can be compared to Anti-Nihilism, but they share many key differences. I won’t get into that now though. And yes, to an outsider looking in sounds depressing, but if anything the closest thing I could compare it to is a controlled hedonism — awareness of personal agency. To me personally, it gave me back my personal agency when I believed I had none. Absurdism, philosophically, is the innate reaction to the enlightenment of the universal absurdity of life. Noted by Absurdist and Existential philosophers Albert Camus and Søren Kierkegaard. Absurdity being the fact that the universe works on a logic outside of human comprehension and is thus illogical — hence the term “Absurd”. Enlightenment of this existential crisis in Absurdism leads to three possible theorized actions for humanity:

Committing Suicide — Which is in itself absurd and pointlessly ironic. Extremely deterred by Absurdist philosophy. Turning to God — also defined as the “Leap of Faith”, by Kierkegaard. Which can work and Kierkegaard agrued leads to authentic human life. But to Camus, it is attributed to resolving one’s own philosophical agency or “philosophical suicide”. Acceptance of Absurdity — Which is what Absurdist Camus states is the best action. As you both retain agency and a desire to do as you need to to be happy, dealing with the strive of life without wallowing in despair. The key idea is finding happiness in an imperfect, illogical universe.

(I recommend reading the Myth of Sisyphus, written by Albert Camus — which is one of the first insights and expressions of Absurdist theory.) A good way to think about philosophy in Madoka is like this: Kyubey asks you to make a contract, and this is hypothetically that you understand WHAT being a magical girl meant, what would you choose based on philosophical viewpoints? 

For example: Rationalism: “No. Being a Witch is inevitable and I don’t wanna die like that.” Empiricism: “From what I’ve seen, No. Waiting for the mental scarring to heal!” Atheistic Existentialism: “Maybe. Depends on how I want to be.” Theistic Existentialism: “Learned the lesson from Kyoko Sakura, enough said.” Absurdism: “Why not? You only live once, right? Better think of a good wish.” Nihilism: “What’s it matter? Find someone who cares about universal entropy.” Anti-Nihilism: “It’s better than wallowing, right. Do it!” Skepticism: “How do I even know all you’ve said and what I’ve seen is even true? Isn’t this an anime? If it’s not, prove it. Then I’ll make a choice.” Macchivelianism: “If that means the universe can continue, my sacrifice is worth it, I suppose.” Or “Who would be crazy enough to do it, and how can I get them to do it to further my gain?” That’s a wide array of answers, but it kind of depends on the person when asked realistically. But I hope that this is a good insight to the line of thinking I want to approach Rebellion with. 

And now I want to talk about the Madoka series and its writing thematically, as well as the Philosophies and the relationship they share.

Madoka is a story that is fueled by Nihilism in it’s nature. Gen Urobuchi is a nihilistic writer, even if as a person he may be joyful. One’s philosophy does not always equate to one’s emotions on the outward glance. Nihilism is the philosophy that everything is hopeless. There is nothing to be found in yearning for meaning, so it’s better to do nothing but succumb to the despair and wallow. And yet, Puella Magi Madoka Magica ends with a hopeful message, with Madoka becoming a benevolent god. I found it interesting that the series decided to end it’s 12 episode run with that message. But then again, it could be taken another way. Let’s examine Kyubey — Incubator, as an incubator for the energy created by Witches to return to the universe as a means of preventing entropy and the universe can stay alive.— as a character especially in his action is from a Machiavellianistic perspective. He looks for logical solutions to problems and has only his own end goal in mind, and the consequences are more of a means to justify an end goal more than anything else. Remember his conversation with Madoka, he outright states the needs of the universe outweigh the few teenage girls whose lives are lost.   Which in itself is not a “bad” philosophy when taken to a smaller scale, for example as he describes — Livestock. Humans eat them and need them to survive, and by comparison livestock live a better life in captivity than in the wild and thus are able to breed healthier and thrive as well, even if a few die to become food. Technically, it’s a mutual benefit, even if humanity is the one holding the power — a means to an end of survival. That’s Machiavellionism in a nutshell. Of course, it’s more complicated and a lot more corruptible based on context but I need to keep this train rolling... Anyway, back to Madoka... Then there is Rebellion — which title makes a lot of sense when thought about. Many people reacted to Rebellion wondering why the message of hope was so drastically toyed with in Homura’s action — Her Rebellion. However, I find that questioning flawed when the series was NEVER about hope, Kyoko’s death is proof of that. Listen to the conversation Homura and Kyubey have after her death — he gave Kyoko false hope as a means to his end — backing Madoka into a corner to become a Magical Girl. His motives are never hopeful and hope should not be sought after, that’s what I found to be the underlying message of the series. Even if Madoka’s action was just, Homura still failed in her mission — and I saw Rebellion as her having to deal with that. I like to view Homura’s actions in the final act of the film as a turn to Absurdism, rather than Nihilism — If she did, she’d despair and die — and a rejecting Kyubey’s Machiavellianism — He’s her enemy after all. Remember, the basic principle of Absurdism is rebelling against the absurd universe for one’s own happiness. Let’s talk about why Nihilism is often first attributed to Homura and points towards it. Firstly, the familiars: In a scene of Homura kneeling and basking to a stonewall of Goddess Madoka during the revelation of her transformation, her familiars are seen throwing tomatoes whilst chanting “Gott is tot”, which is a concept related to Nihilism uttered by Fredrick Nietzsche which translates to “God is dead” or to better articulate “There is no salvation in God.” The Law of Cycles is a god and a salvation to Magical Girls, but in Homura turning into a witch, the Law of Cycles has failed in its duty as an omniscient and thus salvation is not an absolute. While personally, Kyubey’s a little shit for blocking off Madoka’s omniscience, it did reveal that she is NOT omniscient or all knowing. Often that revelation to man leads one down the path of Nihilism, thrusting the concept of God aside as it is not true and believing in such is illogical. However see this concept both played straight and lampshaded in Kyoko Sakura, a Christian, whom in her death — asks God to give her a happy dream. Even if her outward persona would tell you otherwise, and the tragedy of her history, she still never rejected God — God was still a part of her, but her relationship with the concept was rocky, to say the least. She more so adopts a narcissistic realist’s — yet not Nihilistic — outlook on life for Magical Girls because they are alien, they are territorial and they are dangerous to those unaware. They have immense power, but are not tied down by a singular moral figure or responsiblity besides killing Witches — which is more for survival than a duty to Kyoko. That in itself was a defensive mechanism for her. And in that, while she tried to enlighten Sayaka, it was not something that Sayaka could follow behind due to her pursuit of being a selfless paragon. Sayaka represented the Idealist, who knew not of the unfairness of reality. A hero of justice who was loved for the things she did, was not realistic. Hence, why this I stated her character arc was deconstructive of the Paragon. And just like in her death, all of Kyoko’s attempts were also in vain. Ironically enough, Kyoko and Sayaka represented to halves of Buddhism. The one that knew the truth and desired to enlighten, and the one who upon enlightenment, could not bare it, fell to despair and died. Kyoko, the figurative Bodhisattva — sacrificed herself for the sake of Sayaka, and ultimately died fulfilling nothing. Yet, was at peace with herself — being arguably, the most progressed of the Magical Girls. In Buddhist philosophy, the idea of enlightenment is focusing on the self and fully expanding one’s knowledge of the self to better understand the world. And upon enlightenment, they transcend their mortal desires. Siddhartha Buddha did the same becoming a higher being because of it, thus entering Nirvana. Those who followed suit but decided to stay on earth would be responsible for passing the lessons onto others — these people titled Bodhisattvas. You can see now why Kyoko’s transformation sequence involves a combination of Buddhist and Christian imagery.

With that out of the way, I’d like to summarize the events of the finale to the movie. In the final act after Kyubey’s Isolation Field is destroyed and Homura’s soul gem returned to her. The audience witnesses the Law of Cycles — Madoka Kaname as a concept — come to purify and take Homura to Magical Girl Heaven. But in a twisted move, Homura splits Madoka’s God-like Entity back into the physical exist of Madoka Kaname (it makes a bit more sense in context) and becomes a Demon, restructuring the universe and becoming the concept of “Evil” through her love for Madoka. And although she creates a rather negative world from a viewer’s standpoint, it is closer to human concepts of reality, religion and Dualism — In fact, it’s more ideal to what the girls had been fighting since the beginning. Quickly defining Dualism: It is a concept that two pieces in nature exist, a yin and a yang. Both are in constant battle for victory, but often they are more of a check and balance, thus working in harmony with the universe. This concept can be observed in the final moments of the film, Madoka attempts to awaken her God-like power and Homura stopping her — bringing back balance, where Madoka cannot gain control over the universe and erase her existence. This can be seen as one of two things: 1.) Homura (The Devil) is keeping Madoka (God) away from helping people and re-rewriting the universe again. 2.) Homura is creating a balance for this new world. It is a happy one, where the only tortured soul is Homura herself and she is content with that. Thus nothing needs radical change. Now if Homura actively tried to eliminate Madoka entirely, then this would be a problem. But that is not the case. This second observation is more where I fall in line with to interpret, and that’s where I thought about Homura and Absurdism. In creating a Dualistic System, Homura indeed creates a happy world. Madoka didn’t need to be a Magical Girl, whilst Sayaka, Kyoko, Mami and Nagisa are alive — leading happy lives with their friends and loved ones. I'd like to argue that Homura created her world in spite of the absurd universe that tormented her and Madoka. Her view on this could be influenced by her words with Madoka during the flower field scene, which is often pointed as the birth of Homura’s main crisis throughout the film. But in that, she created a world where they both can exist and in revolting the cruel universe, basically said “Fuck you” to Kyubey’s Machiavellian tactics. It can also be argued as well that she was corrupted by her experience as a Witch inside of her own soul, which I identify as valid. But I prefer interpreting it more in her actions being in spite of the hopelessness she felt. And since there is no one way to interpret the series, as the creators have not said anything on how to interpret it from my knowledge, it is free reign. Like Sisyphus, in being able to create a world where Madoka would be happy, Homura could “push the boulder up the hill” or survive in her personal hell and be satisfied with it. She takes Absurdism to an even further extreme, which realistically should be thought of with more than a grain of salt. But for the sake of this being an anime, I’ll let it slide. And satisfied she appears to be, as seen in her “victory dance” at the end of the movie. Sure, she fell off a cliff (which I can be 100% certain didn’t kill her as she’s been through much worse and it’s more metaphorical to show her fall from God [Madoka] into a new entity), and familiars do represent the true feelings of the Witch, and they are seen committing suicide — that does not matter in Absurdist philosophy, since Homura does not kill herself and finds happiness in saving Madoka’s existence. Even in an absurdist hell, Homura continues to be satisfied and she doesn’t really care what happens to the status quo of Magical Girls and their relationship with her — as seen when she says Sayaka and her may become enemies when the Wraiths are extinct, but so long as Madoka is happy, Homura can live in spite of her personal hell. She has, for all intents and purposes, accepted the absurdity of EVERY universe and performed the ultimate defiance -- her Rebellion. She got what she wanted — Madoka is happy — her wish fulfilled and Kyubey got the just desserts that Homura had wanted to give him for years. This can even be interpreted in that no could understand her reasons for rewriting the universe and her love for Madoka. Though this could also be her being egocentric and her “Love” is definitely more selfish than selfless, but she IS doing it for Madoka. But can it even be defined as “Love”? Sayaka questions if it is more “Obsession” or “Desire”, compare to “Love”. 

Thoughts for days... I’d love to hear some more interpretations on the matter.

Ugh, I love this movie! It makes me think!! And with that, I’d like to segue into the conclusion with Kyubey’s words and direct them to reactions to the film as a whole: “Why are [feeling the way you do]? [The movie] has served its purpose and has concluded its existence as necessary.”   This very much comes to mind every time I see a new reaction to it.That in itself cannot be answered by just one philosophy or person to collectively represent the whole. It can be answered in as many ways as there are reactions and explanations for the film. And this where I believe Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion is one of the most successful and outright fantastic films of all time. Akiyuki Shinbou and Studio Shaft really outdid themselves with this one. I’ll address the bias that I could be reading too much into it. And yes, Shaft is known for ridiculous amounts of metaphorical imagery and often are chastised as “pretentiously artsy” or “throwing symbols around without meaning” but there are TOO many incidences in Rebellion for that to be “Just coincidence” in my eyes. Gen Urobuchi did say in interviews that the ending to Rebellion would be divisive: From the community’s general hatred of the ending and Nihilism. To my satisfaction with it due to the nature of Absurdism. To my brother’s tragic feelings with it due to the nature of his relationship with God. To my best friend’s questioning of the pragmatism of the ending in being a Logical Skeptic. To my boyfriend’s sympathy towards Kyubey’s desire to preserve the world, even if his methods could be seen as inhumane. And even my sister, who couldn’t finish it and became Existentially depressive. This has certainly held true.

In the end, philosophy is not black and white, nor good or bad. It is more of a way that one articulates the world around them. Whether seeing it as an optimist, a pessimist, or somewhere in-between — to order or to chaos. Philosophy should be thought of with different strokes and philosophical arguments, debates and revelations are always changing with the modern world. I think Rebellion, and Madoka Magica as a whole works as a philosophical piece. A dive into how philosophy in art can be articulated and represented, but also in all the reactions, reasonings and people who have come to interact with it. To finally wrap up this LONG essay, I’ll restate that Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion is my favorite film of all time. I hold the series itself in similar high regards  — but I think the series is far less thought provoking compared to the movie (except for Sayaka character arc and Kyoko). (Before you ask: My favorite anime of all time is The Slayers. I love it for more nostalgic reasons than it making me existential. Sometimes, dumb campy fun is just as necessary are thought-provoking introspection and artistic expression.) But in Puellla Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion’s case: I believe a perfect movie doesn’t need a score of 100% on Metacritic. I believe a perfect film needs to be so provocative and thought-provoking that I never get tired of watching it. Rebellion is that movie to me. Flaws and all. Pacing issues of the first act and all. Even in this still rampant dub vs subs debate in anime communities — I don’t care enough to weight in, I watched it dubbed and subbed, both were of good quality. The dub may have lacked the moe-inspired voices, but at the same time, I hate moe — so them speaking in english was fine by me. Neither one takes away from this wonderful experience. I could compare it to the ideas brought about in Bojack Horseman — My favorite TV show of all time. But taken to an absolute absurd level that requires viewing.

I recommend giving the series multiple watches and come up with your own opinions and ideas. Share your reactions and really learn something about other people by how they react to the series as a whole. You can find the entire series and all the movies for Madoka Magica on Netflix.

I’d like to say if you have any other series you’d like me to cover or analyze, send me a question to my Ask box! Or if you want to support me, check out my other case studies and analyses and follow me! I hope you all enjoyed my rambling and have yourselves a fantastic rest of the day. I’ve been Tuchi,  This is my Brain Vomit, And I hope you always bloom proudly!

-- TUCHI OUT!!

References:

Aronson, Ronald, "Albert Camus", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Summer 2017 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/sum2017/entries/camus/>. Simpson, David, “Albert Camus (1913-1960)” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, URL = <http://www.iep.utm.edu/camus/>. Crowell, Steven, "Existentialism", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Spring 2016 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/spr2016/entries/existentialism/>. Markie, Peter, "Rationalism vs. Empiricism", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2017 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2017/entries/rationalism-empiricism/>. Nederman, Cary, "Niccolò Machiavelli", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Winter 2014 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/win2014/entries/machiavelli/>.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep7 (part 2)

Toxic kindness (Kureno):

I’ve touched upon this in se02 finale, but kureno’s toxic kindness mirrors the foolish traveler story. The foolish traveler says “ thank you” as he dies. Kureno ignores the knife in the hands of a person whom he saw with his own eyes abuse a number of children repeatedly. Kisa, Isuzu, hatori & yuki bodies testify of being beaten, cut, & bruised. Kyo’s psychological abuse was announced in front of kureno himself before akito summoned him in the beach arc. Akito has strangled her mom & screamed, cried & went manic in front of him. Yet, kureno walks toward her ignoring the knife, hugs her & tells her to press the button of change. Easy, right?

I highly respect the author that Akito didn’t respond positively. I don’t want kureno to be stabbed or want akito to run away & hurt the others.  Also, I hate cheap drama. So, I’ll never support dramatic confrontations just for the sake of it. I want a realistic depiction of trauma & mental illness. The person who lived her entire life entitled to be obeyed, feared & having extreme authority, won’t just change cuz a foolish guy told her to.

-The responsibility of Nurturing children:

Akito’s outburst represent the author’s view on the role of nurturing children properly to teach them to be decent human beings. Akito was raised with extreme views neglect & narcissism. You’re special & must be loved (said her dad), Others MUST obey you (said the old maid), No one truly loves you (said her mom). So, her entire life she craved showcasing her power over these unfortunate zodiacs as it stems from the notion that they live for her sake.

Tohru on the other hand was raised with compassion, love & appreciation of other ppl. Tohru being timid, shy or unable to stand for her self are personal struggles that tohru deals with & not related to nurturing , While her trauma might be caused by a parent, it didn’t prevent tohru from being a kind & compassionate person because she was raised & taught abt these things.

The faults of abusing a child might lead to create faulty mentality & social issues. these kids might even grow to implement similar abuse onto others, while all that is understandable, it will never excuse their behavior. A lot cases of real life abusers were once kids who were abused. It is tragic. It explains why they become the horrible person they are today, but it never excuses the harm of others. The victim is not responsible of your screwed upbringing. Kisa, kyo, yuki, & Isuzu have nothing to do with Akira, Ren or akito’s troubles. They are victims themselves but they didn’t go & inflect harm upon others. Yes, they each developed a faulty coping mechanism &  showed tendencies of rage, withdrawal, misplaced pain, but they were never a harm towards the society, & their peers.

Akito’s outburst paves the path for her redemption. How it will happen? I duno. Will someone once again holds her cheeks, talks her into bettering herself? I duno. She will atone. I can guess that based on the ED. but Will she be rightfully punished for her crimes? I duno. I hope so. Forgiveness is different from punishment. Thus, a type of punishment should be implemented. Abusers, whether victims or not, or atoned or not, must receive it. It is only fair.

- What will happen with tohru/ kyo’s confession/ confrontation? What is the exit from kyoko’s harsh last words! How can Furuba’s best mom hates kyo! My mind goes crazy!

Perhaps the following will happen:

(a) Kyo will confess the past, tohru forgive, kyo relieved, they kiss or whatever (happy ending). This could happen but while I would be happy for them, I’d hate that kyo’s entire trauma goes away with a simple “ I forgive you/ I love you”. Trauma doesn’t have a button you magically shut down. Kyo must unload his burden first! open his lid, then deal with it. Also, How will kyoko’s last words fit here? Are they just kyo’s imagination? really? it seems so anti-climatic. Imagine living with kyoko’s words for two seasons only for it to be in kyo’s mind! I really need kyoko to have bigger role than simple imagination. She’s either a haunting ghost or a holy perfect mother, rarely a real human character. Also, I need to include Akito. In this happy version, Akito gets stopped by shigure or even yuki! .. possible but too light for all the buildup drama & endless cliffhangers! lol

(b) Kyo will confess the past, tohru won’t forgive, kyo hurts himself as he sees her pain (dark ending). This ending is too dark for both. kyo hearing tohru’s words of un-forgivness will echo what he himself believe in he should be. Then where is hope for him? T_T Tohru not being able to forgive is logical since her mom is her world, but it also further ties tohru to her mom. She’ll be stuck again remembering her mom’s tragic words & last moment. Also, tohru will loose another person she loves even more than her mom. Here Akito will interfere somehow. Perhaps tries to kill tohru, then kyo sacrifices himself saving her. I duno.. too dark for furuba! lol

Ok. I give up. Anything I think gets stopped by kyoko’s words. I need kyo to push tohru away cuz this is the only logical progression for his trauma! I refuse to believe that kyo’s trauma was pushed into the climax & was written to embody furuba’s most mature themes of guilt, self-forgiveness, repeated mistakes, depression & others only to be quickly solved. But, tohru’s own issues were quickly presented & addressed in one short ep so..... augh! I want to hope for more from tohru, but I duno.. her growth has been so inconsistent, & I’m tired of being disappointed.

Next ep could either become furuba’s best ep or the worst ever!!! & this scares me so much. 

Side Notes:

Kyo was repeatedly punished for his mistakes & faulty coping mechanism throughout the series, He is yet to be forgiven by someone or forgive himself. But he has been living the punishment of his own trauma.

Why is momiji still speaking German in the dub? I know his curse break is a secret, but He’s still holding on the facade of identifying with a rabbit in his burger, imitating his mom’s accent as he’s still so attached to her. I thought he let go of the past while bravery acknowledging it & moved on. Starting brighter, happier & with more hope. He isn’t still holding on to pain. He is looking forward now. =/

At first, i didnt recognize the room tohru & kyo are eating in! XD. It’s their living room, right? first time seeing it with all doors closed. weird.XD

Seeing Hiro’s curse break further reinforces that there is no logic on its breaking order. It just breaks. that’s all. If there is any reason behind it, then, momoji should be the first. He had always developed outside relationships with others way before tohru & not exclusive to her. Seeing as he has lots of friends playing with him. Also, he has always dealt with his own issues with level headed perspective, never too absorbed in sadness, never too self-focused, he never withdrew or lashed out. He never looked down on kyo, heck! I’ll argue that he even looked up to him!. hiro could've happened earlier too, as he was always protected from trauma & in a loving home, then yuki as he not only opened his lid but told akito in her face that he will forgive her & decided to never be by her side. His curse should have broken right on se02, ep25. You can place anyone afterwards. So, yeah, the curse just breaks, perhaps akito herself has a role as her insecurities increases. duno.

I dont care for the curse itself at all. As far as I’m concerned it is (a) fun gimmick, (b) analogy for abuse & trauma. The later is the core of furuba.

plz let next ep be well-done, well-written & well-direct. plz! T_T

[papers4me]

You said you loved all FB characters, but who was the character you never cared about at all?

Oh I really like all Furuba's characters, except kyo's dad & Akito's mom, but I'm starting to see these two in new light now that the anime is over. Not liking them at all. They’re 100% negative & toxic even within the canon story!, but now I really see them, if you get what I'm saying. They’re the core of two characters: kyo/akito who affected other characters as well. I'll post my new thoughts abt them when I reach their manga chapters.

But character I never cared abt... umm... motoko! simply cuz her worshiping yuki is presented as sth with more positivity than negativity. In Furuba... " bullying" is a fun comedic gag if it is not directed to a sohma.

Her bullying attitude was never condemned beyond how it affected tohru briefly. Tohru was protected by the power of Uo/Hana. She continued to lead her army of worshipers into idolizing him & they bullied machi, which was totally fine (wasn't really) as it was used as a romantic tool to bridge the gap between yuki & machi, & a tool to set machi aside from the rest of yuki blind idolizers cuz she's the only one who " sees" the real yuki.. We saw motoko herself bullying kimi for... wait for it.. talking to yuki in a "scandalous manner" .. how dear she.. the innocent boi will be devoured by this female snake! but kimi stood her ground & taught them a lesson... more like bullied them back for gags & laughs...

Also, once motoko decided that tohru is good for yuki & stopped bullying tohru in her mind, we went deep into how her worshiping obsessive attitude is healthy for her & yuki.... her stalking, idolizing, preventing him from talking to ppl normally & locking him into a caged persona is what made their highschool years so memorable, they're literally floating. Her toxic love must be respected... therefore, Yuki is thankful. While they float, did their bullied victims who dared to love yuki differently float with them?.. I wonder.

Lots of time & space is dedicated to make this toxic one-sided relationship cute. All of us belong into fandoms & have ppl we idolize, it's cool. but once your feelings leave your chest & become toxic actions directed into the idolized target & his/her inner circle .. it's no longer cute...

I heard the author supports/loves/shiershes her. Maybe .. it's a cultural thing? idolizing someone romantically is cute in Japan? I duno.. The kpop culture is similar to this... " how dare you date oppa! he's an innocent man who never even kissed his own mommy!"... Even the west has similar attitude, but instead of wanting the idol stay " version/pure", the idolization is directed towards the idol's persona..making him/her untouchable & setting on a high pedestal of a constructed image...

My point is... Furuba poses as this " educational" show. lots of direct lessons are given on a regular episodic manner & very direct language & imagery either by tohru, shigure, kyoko or yuki. Very direct. but still fails to comment on school bullying/ idolization/ fanclubs culture. If the FB wasn't abt giving mature advice, I wouldnt care at all... School Rumble is an example where such extreme things can be treated as gags. That show is just romantic fun comedy, nothing more.

This is a part of Furubsa than I don't like. It's not cute to stalk & impose ur perspective on others. Motoko, according to the author, is shown to love yuki purely & genuinely but wrongly. That's why machi is created to be better & love him rightfully. Motoko is created to make us appreciate machi... too bad in the anime.. motoko had more character existence than machi. But motoko was never created to comment on the toxic fan culture. On the contrary, the fanculb continues till yuki graduates & yuki is shown be thankful.

Bullying is a serious traumatic experience in high school & is presented inside a show which discusses child trauma as a core theme. Nothing abt it deserves a graduation song, nor floating montage.

Thanks fore the ask!