#the corniest bitch !

[looloolands]

Stolitz would be so much better and a lot more flavorful if Stolas really was a bratty prince who had lived a long life and was looking for something fun and new just for the sake of it only to accidentally fall in love with his "toy." I loved him a whole lot more when I thought he was a sassy and messy ancient being looking for a good time and I was even able to still like him (albeit a lot less) after that was changed.

But these days it feels like I am being forced to feel bad for Stolas. Every episode he's in, it's another sad thing with him I have to learn. Like

If Stolas really was a big, strong, ancient being who really was trying to figure out how to build a relationship out of something he created only for fun and sex and how to apologize for seeing Blitz as a "plaything" and making him feel like a toy- if ANYTHING was just HIS FAULT -I would be there so much.

But he's not that, unfortunately.

He is unfortunately just a really sad guy in his late-thirties going through a midlife crisis and a messy breakup.

[sasudou]

when skk have genuine, bad fights neither side apologizes

one of them just sends a stupid ass text like “eating pasta: twirl or scoop?” to start one of their meaningless arguments and the other person responds

then they both just kinda forget about it

[capavldi]

no termina de ladear el rostro al percibir presencia de acompañante en la terraza, diciendo un poco al aire: “ cuando los poetas hablaban de la luna, ” con suficiente teatralidad para que se entienda que está en personaje, “ —nunca dijeron que tu belleza superaría la de ella. ” 

[missmassacre]

PILOT NAME: HATEFUL INSTRUMENT

AC: DEAD KINGS ALL

>>THIS BEAST NEEDS NO MODIFICATION<<

[professionalbeard]

gonna become a youtuber just to bully flop youtubers like sarah z or whatever her name is

[lilyacorn]

Yandere popular student! X gn! Tutor reader

Hes from this post and i hope u enjoy it!

Yandere popular student- who is always lively and sweet around others! He claims that they’re just really nice then people end up thinking he’s innocent at first glance! Their basement now says otherwise-

Yandere popular student- who was a normal student until he met you! And… your other friends.

Yandere popular student- who was ecstatic to have another “friend” pawn in his group!

Yandere popular student- who realizes that he needed to abort the “friend” pawn plan once he saw you. “…w-why… is my heart beating so fast?”

Yandere popular student- who suddenly gets hot and stutters when you smile exist at him like that! “H-huh?!”

Yandere popular student- who keeps implying to his friends that he just wants to be “friends with you!” Just an excuse to not hang out. And maybe stalk- “oh! No i just wanna be friends with them! Seriously guys, they’re just a friend future lover.”

Yandere popular student- who really wants to become friends! Lovers He says that “he’s busy” to convince friends that he can’t hang out with them. (He’s busy stalking- i mean, busy trying to be friends!

Yandere popular student- who’d dress nicer! Maybe some pants or a nicer jacket just to see if you’d compliment! “Look at me please…?” also gets a heart attack even when you look at him)

Yandere popular student- who realized that he needed to step up his game for you to become his “friend” totally because you’re not his crush or anything!

Yandere popular student- who heard that you tutor students! A better way to get closer if you tutored him! Even if his grades were completely fine…

Yandere popular student- who got up at 4 am in the morning to get ready for the session! Date “…do they like vanilla or flowers perfume…” also spent 30 minutes deciding over the perfume-

Yandere popular student- who arrived at the library and quickly sat down beside you to start! Weird how they kept fidgeting and stuttering around you tho…“uhmmm s-should we get started?”

Yandere popular student- who made sure to use all the friend dating tactics in the book! He moved his shoulder close to yours to “see the book closer” liar

Yandere popular student- who was enjoying himself with you until he saw the yandere delinquent standing at the library entrance. “Oh! So thats how you do it- who’s that?”

Yandere popular student- who’s trying his best to steal your attention! “Hey, uhm what does this mean?” Points at a mf letter

Yandere popular student- who looks at the yandere delinquent with malice. He said a simple joke and you laughed! “Hahaha” their laugh sounds so nice! Just ughhhhhhh

Yandere student- who’s face sours up when the yandere delinquent copies “his tactic” and says the corniest joke ever! And you chuckled at it?! “…” HOW?! THAT JOKE IS SO- UGH!

Yandere student- who notices the end of the session, and stands up to walk you home but yandere delinquent says it the same time. back off bitch. Theyre mine.

“May i walk you home-“ “can i walk you home-“

So reader, who will you choose?

[writing-funsies]

OP characters as besties p.5

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5

characters: Ace, Shanks, Mihawk

warnings: mentions of alcohol, light cussing

notes: all platonic hc's

Ace

will share his food with you

but won't let you take any off his plate

falls asleep on you all the time

uses you as his personal pillow

and will make fun of you if you freak out when riding with him on Striker

despite the fact that it's designed for only one person

but I digress

also uses you as a napkin if needed

sometimes shoots little flames at you to see your reaction

talks about Luffy nonstop

like that's the only thing he ever talks about

by the time you actually meet his little brother

you're ready to strangle both of them

not really

but you could spot the kid a mile away

before you ever actually got to know him

Ace and you working together to become more confident

always teasing each other

you having to fish him out of the ocean when he falls in

drinking contests

staring contests

fighting contests

eating contests

just competing over everything and anything possible

training together

he may be really strong and have a devil fruit power

but he won't hesitate to practice his hand-to-hand combat with you

especially if you need it

will tease you about it though

so you just push him overboard again

long talks about your lives

your pasts

your families

where you see yourselves in a year

five years

maybe even ten years

your goals

and aspirations

just talks about life

he tells you about his dad

and is relieved when you tell him that just because he was his father's son doesn't mean that'll be his legacy 

you two would die for each other

nothing will ever tear you apart

besties for the resties

9/10

super sweet and funny

but won't bathe no matter how much you beg

Shanks

party boy™

genuinely doesn't give a fuck

he's here to have fun

and protect his family

that's it

tells you the corniest jokes you've ever heard

also laughs at everything you say

like Luffy, laughs even when you're being serious

uses his missing arm as an excuse if you ever try to get him to do his duties as captain

sometimes struggles with phantom pains

but assures you they'll go away on their own

drinking contests

if he's got a drink in hand

then everyone's gonna have a good time

100% threw up on your shoes once before passing out

laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard when you told him

quickly stifles his laughter when he sees how mad you are

offers to let you throw up on his shoes to make it even

you just stare at his sandals for a moment before walking away

watching Luffy's progress through the news together

bragging about the kid as if he were your own

the antics you two get up to guarantee that Ben will have a constant headache

the rest of the crew finds your dynamic duo to be hilarious

the sheer power of this crew is near unimaginable

so if the two of you ever actually fight enemies

they don't stand a chance

if anyone ever targeted you

and hurt you

Shanks would have his crew capture your attacker

and then show them exactly why no one messes with the Red Hair Pirates

8/10

always provides a good time

but will laugh at you if you fall 

Mihawk

I ain't ever seen two pretty best friends

until now

you are probably a little more lively than this warlord

he just doesn't care for drama

which means it's up to you to keep him in the loop

yet somehow he has the truly juicy details you could only wish to find on your own

y'all have a small book club

it's just the two of you

you tried to invite Perona to join

but she thought that your reading selection was so not cute

you even tried to invite Shanks once

all that accomplished was you gaining a new drinking buddy

which Mihawk begrudgingly allowed to happen

basically, the book club is just you two sipping on wine while discussing every mistake that the author made while writing your current read

salty bitches™

you're one of the only people alive who can get Mihawk to laugh

which is your favorite party trick

except that he's never laughed at the parties you both went to

(ie visiting Shanks and getting roped into a night of drinking)

he airs out all of the other warlords' dirty laundry to you

will talk mad shit about them

well at least most of them

he finds that no matter how powerful they may be

they're all idiots in his eyes

they can't see the big picture

he trusts that you have enough common sense to use the information sparingly

and you do

for the most part

it's giving rich single wine aunt meets vodka mom (but without the kids)

9/10

knows how to relax in style

but will not let you play with his sword no matter how many times you ask

[buttercup12233]

Alastor is such a Gary stu that wants everybody to know that he's "sCaRy" because he can have black eyes and red pupils, turn big, and shoot out tentacles. Like bro. That's not creepy. And most of his lines fucking suck. How does he know about modern slang? Didn't this guy die during the great fucking depression? Not to mention, this guy swears a whole lot. It would've been perfect if the only time he ever swore was when his staff got broken apart. That would've really shocked the audience. I wouldn't mind him saying "fuck" a few times, but when that shit becomes a common thing, that's a problem. Swearing wasn't common in the 1900's. So why is Alastor using it on a daily basis. He no longer stands out from the cast. He's just another edge lord. He says the most corniest lines too like omg everytime he says ONE embarrassing word, I have to pause from watching the show bc the guy gives me second hand embarrassment. He's trying so hard to be terrifying that it's not working. For some reason, Alastor just wants power.... I'm not sure if it was planned from the start, but the execution is dog shit in my opinion. Pilot Alastor was done better than this. The reason why pilot Alastor was so creepy and overall an amazing character, at least in my opinion, was because you didn't really know exactly how he was feeling, or what was going on inside his head. The whole point of him volunteering to 'help' Charlie run the hotel was that he could see sinners fail and give himself some entertainment. He even flat out admits it in the pilot. But then you just have that gut feeling that there's something more going on with Alastor. That he's probably planning something else than just finding entertainment. Let the 'him wanting power' be like a b plot if THAT was the case (explain why he even wants power too bc if he just WANTS it for the sake of it, then that's boring). And I think what was the most exciting thing about his character, was that he was mysterious. Notice how the only times he EVER used his power or lost his cool was when Angel Dust claimed that he could suck his dick, or when Sir Pentious interrupted his song and threatened to literally hurt him. I swear, this guy used his title as the radio demon for times when it was appropriate. That's what I loved about Pilot Al. He wasn't trying to be creepy unless it was needed. In this show, he desperately wants people to fear him. He even tries to pick a fight with everybody, even the ones who are kind to him. He's a complete asshole and a dickhead. And I'm just like "boo, fucking corny, bitch". Idk, man. It's pro just me. But I hate Alastor so goddamn fucking much. At least in the show. He gives me headaches, he's a Gary stu, and I can't believe this mf got away with talking trash to the KING OF HELL like holy SHIT. Why didn't his ass get humbled at the moment there? He just got freewill the whole time during season one without consequences. Besides Adam tearing his ass up.

Alastor is just so- ugh.

I beg for you guys to let me know if some of my points were invalid. I would actively listen to them. I was just in rage the whole entire time while writing this, so my mind was just clouded with 'wtf happened to the cool guy I once loved' and just...RAAAAAH. so please don't hesitate to speak out. I'm aware that not EVERYBODY will agree with what I say. But it's great to hear y'all's opinions about this. Thank you.

[hime-bee]

it's not june bride yet but i'm curious so i might as well ask! how would your ocs propose to mc? 💍

Oh man, that's a good question- but at the risk of typing out an entire essay for the sappy bitches like Luc and Leu, I'll try to keep it short and concise!

Lucas is such a sappy, old-fashioned romantic, so you already know he would go the tried-and-true route of taking his partner out for dinner. He wouldn't mind proposing in public, but it has to be in a secluded area because he wouldn't want to pressure his partner into accepting just to avoid embarrassing him in public. He's pretty well-spoken, so even if he is a bit nervous, he'd be able to get through his little speech before asking his partner to marry him (in the corniest way possible, rest assured)

Leumin is a bit similar to Lucas in the way that he'd try to do everything right and be a little old-fashioned about it while also trying to hide his intentions. He'd inevitably fail, though, because he'd be so anxious and eager at the same time and would probably just drop to one knee before you could even get out the house (he's such a loser lol). Leu's the epitome of trying to rizz someone up and just says "pleasepleaseplease"

Surprisingly enough, Njero is actually a romantic as well (though a lot more shy about it). He'd spend the day tending to his partner, performing acts of service before finally getting one of his familiars to give his partner the ring with a note that's magically enchanted so when you open it, the words "Will you marry me?" display above you with pretty colors to boot. He's kinda shy, but he'll propose directly to you if you want!

[ambiguousdisorderken]

so sick so sick they've known each other their whole lives they're best friends they kept coming back together– inevitable, like a foregone conclusion. like it's always been kendall and stewy up in the tree house or wasted useless out in clubs or in their shared dorm room making out high and giggly or whisked away on impromptu vacays they called networking trips or trading cutting insults and tears and grunts like emotional currency or whatever the other fuck they got up to, like. it was never 50/50, too demanding too needy too clingy too irrational too guarded too intense too proud too possessive too much of a fucking cunt, but it's not like it matters when they are running so deep in each other’s bloodstream , because they chose to. my plus one, my best friend, my best bitch, my bad habit, my support system, my man, mine mine mine. team i fell in love with a beautiful boy in elementary school and if anyone were to ask me how did that end i'd reply with the corniest most embarrassing yet truthful answer, it hasn't

[larzuen]

not really a question but Barnaby gives me the vibe of if he was a dad, he would make the corniest dad jokes to show he cares (idk maybe because of canon Barnaby makes jokes or something)

LMAOAOAOA Barnaby would still attempt to make up jokes In my AU 😭 but mf does It at the worst timings ever.

(+I can Imagine him doing It with his scary resting bitch face on 💀 I think he forgot how social cues work 💔)

[itchyeye]

Heard this was where we went to bitch about protocol lmao, so here I am giving my two cents.

I know people talk about the characters and how it expects you to already care, which I agree with, but the thing that suffers the most to me are the statements, is the horror, like, some ideas are good, but it's just not scary, especially with how the episodes are structured, how there is no reaction to the statement besides an occasional "oh that was fucked" wait why are they not even trying to categorise them like we have not heard of the system in a while oh well...

The lack of follow ups is fuckin this up, it makes it less interesting, we don't know if we will even see anyone from them again (considering how many guest writers there are and the prompt system in place I doubt it), nobody cares and we are missing out on the juicy reveals of, oh I don't know A HAND BECKONING? THE HAHA MAN SCARED OF A SPIDER OH SHIT HE DIED HOOOOW? THE AUDIO FROM LOST JOHN'S CAVE???!

The one I actually like is, unsurprisingly in ep4, because that one actually takes its time to immerse us into its world and it is not scary per se, but it is interesting and it has themes (that the fandom immediately misunderstood, as usual). Unfortunately I doubt that guest writer will show up ever again and I feel like that's the current peak of this all. Like the statements we have now are shocking, but they don't linger, and they usually don't make up for that lack of horror.

The format of the internet ones has you doing all the heavy lifting trying to piece together what the fuck is supposed to be so scary

Don't even get me started on the tma bs. It's like making a tma ref and pointing to it like "you know this right? Go make your theory" and I feel like and I sort of hope it's a red herring, but at the same time there was TOO much of this so it'd be kind of a dick move, TOO much for it to not mean anything, but if it means anything then it's stupid as hell so like...lose lose scenario rn

YES THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WHERE WE GO TO BITCH ABOUT TMP GIVE ME YOUR TIRED YOUR POOR YOUR HUDDLED MASSES YEARNING TO BREATHE FREE

i totally agree with you about everything re: statements and yes ep4 was my fav as well!! i love the tma historical statements both because i love old timey gothic storytelling and because jonah magnus is my left hand arm man. my silly rabbit. so augustus' statement was great because it reminded me of those letters. except unlike those letters it had no beginning, middle, nor end and no three dimensional fully realized narrator. harrumph.

also the tma tie-ins are just so.......... ham fisted. i know that for a lot of people tma was TOO slow with its build up but i think honestly the snail's pace at which the metaplot reveals itself is one of the series' greatest strengths. you SHOULD feel bored and annoyed and confused for two full seasons before things really start happening. the characters also feel this way. they are lost and scared and in the dark. so are you, the audience. it's perfect. it's poetry.

and just dumping a random s5 character in the middle of protocol to give the CORNIEST most SHIT BRICK-HOUSE ASS CLUES about who she is and what she's referencing is....

well it's what someone very young would put on wattpad

[viktoriakomova]

You can always rely on the absolute corniest bitches on earth to be calling a floor rotation a “floor party” in the twenty goddamn twenty fourth year of the common era

[stealingyourbones]

Can you please do super ghost, I want to see the corniest flirting possible and everyone just brinyg done

Oh homie I gOTCHU. Here’s a little snippet from the rough draft outline of that fic:

Danny is super casually talking to Superboy and flirting back and forth as they’re flown down to the street. Dash is confused because Danny Fenton, the kid who he beats the shit out of on the daily and has no bitches, is chatting up Superboy like they’ve known each other for years, and Dash knows damn well that they’ve never met before. Danny can’t make friends with a superhero before him so Dash tries to do his cool guy act on Superboy.

Dash probably shouldn’t have tried to insult someone who was a superpowered teen and flying him hundreds of feet above solid ground because Superboy did NOT like that. He shot down Dash with insults so scathing that Dash is pretty sure the rest of his entire bloodline won’t be able to recover.

After that Dash knew to simply shut up as Superboy brought the rest of the crew to the ground. Just before he was about to leave, Superboy slipped Danny a piece of paper, winked, and mimed “call me” before flying off.

…Did Danny just score a date with THE Superboy?!

[karometeenk]

my only close irl friend who has never been in a relationship and used to be the most cynical loveless bitch on the block is now on her second date with a guy and in the past week she has turned into the corniest sap i've ever seen with my eyes. i love her.

[greekabooo]

Stumbled across a film, "La Note Bleue " which tells the last few days of Chopin's professional life. And it is the most confusing and absurd movie I've ever watched in my entire life about a dead twink ass composer. It is unintentionally perfect for Halloween.

Highlights include:

Creepy Dolls

Want to stare into an eternal abyss of emptiness? Look no further than the marionettes that keep showing up throughout the movie for god knows why. They'll give Annabelle a run for her money because these creepers absolutely have no soul in their eyes.

Ghost Galore

Ooky spooky, it's red and white ghoulies! Just like the creepy dolls, these tall ass spirits are sprinkled everywhere in the movie. Making them an absolute menace as they flop their arms around like inflatable carwash balloons. Why are they here? Who knows, I've seen this movie twice and I still don't know what the hell's going on.

JUMPSCARE

Had to screenrecord this because it's too damn hilarious.

I think this speaks for itself. Chopin looks like he's possessed by the devil himself and when George Sand pushes him out of the way, it's the corniest attack I've ever seen 🤣.

Blood on my piano?? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD??!!

TW: Blood

I freaking hate blood why must this movie do this to me

Tuberculosis rly is a bitch as Chopin literally coughs up a bucket's worth of blood while he plays the piano (again). Fifty shades of grey must've borrowed this set because it looks like the red room from hell. Nothing screams ARTISTRY more than this.

In conclusion, go watch this movie. It's free on YouTube.

Happy Halloween 🎃