#the creative and emotional energy i have put into this over the years!

[st-louis]

man i’m just really sad today. thinking about some of the stuff i’ve read over the last few years (laura robinson’s crossing the line and kristi allain’s thesis work with juniors players and alexis n. peters’ thesis) and how nothing’s really changed since in a meaningful way. and even knowing what i know about the culture and still, this. i’m like kind of obligated to keep engaging with hockey to a certain extent but also sort of want to just. not.

[kanerallels]

Sometimes I will see a piece of art captioned something like "just some little doodles" or something and it's some of the most beautiful art I've ever seen

[kathaynesart]

Felt a bit emotional today over the movie's second anniversary and I thought I might embarrass myself about it online. This little film has become really special to me in how it captured my attention and drew me back into something I haven't been a part of for a long time: a creative community.

For a good portion of my adult life I had been forced to put my energies and creativity primarily towards my work. I wanted to tell stories that people enjoyed and had felt like my career was the only method to achieve that. But this community and fandom really sparked a creativity in me I haven't felt since I was younger and I'm so happy to be able to find that avenue I've always wanted not through an employer but through all of you! I have met so many wonderful and inspiring people and none of this would have happened if I hadn't randomly come upon the four minute opening of the film 2 years ago cuz Youtube looked at my algorithm and said: "hm, lets see if she still likes turtles."

Thank you everyone, for loving what I do and enjoying my work. It means the world, and while my updates have become slower due to longer comic posts, real world obligations, and health issues, I still strive to continue the story inspired by this movie with a passion that has shockingly never waned.

Here's to another wonderful year!

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: The ☆Glow-Up☆ 2024 Has Planned For you

♠︎ “At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. 

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✧ Pile One ✧ (queen of cups, 5oC rev., 10oC, the chariot, the magician, 4oS)

Release.

➣ The central theme of this glow-up is inner fulfillment. You are on a journey of true self-love. The queen of cups is sitting proudly at the front of the spread. Major water energy here. You are unraveling emotional trauma down to your roots and reevaluating past attachments and burdens with the six of cups.

➣ I picture floodgates opening, allowing all of the pent-up emotional turmoil to release and finally free you on a deep psychophysiological level. You released something, an attachment or mindset that was set in motion during your formative years that was hindering your ability to hold compassion for yourself.

➣ Shuffling my music, "Daddy Issues" by the Neighbourhood came on. I also saw the hierophant while shuffling the cards. You experienced a lot of undervaluing and emotional neglect in your home. Emotions in your home were taboo and possibly even punished.

➣ I feel like the people around you growing up, were either always dissatisfied with you in some way or made you feel small. Since this is a group reading, it is hard to word this without excluding a large chunk of the audience, but some of you grew up in a home situation where any form of outward self-love or expression was met with a lot of negativity and ridicule. 

➣ This forced you into hiding your true self which groomed you into a mental space full of self-criticism and doubt. In your mind, you were unwanted or inherently broken in some way and deserved less. The way you were treated created deep emotional wounds in your young psyche which made it hard to feel satisfaction within yourself or with the outer world.

➣ With the five of cups, I get the sense that you had felt you were in a desert and unable to fill any of your cups so to speak. Baby, that’s coming to an end. The ten of cups is at the center of your spread with a big ass RAINBOW touching corner to corner. The drought is over. The dark days are over. The sun is shining and you can taste hope again. 

➣ On this self-love journey, you are currently grieving (releasing) a degraded perception of yourself along with any beliefs that inhibit you from feeling good about your character.

➣ You are realizing just how enough you are and flushing out all of the poison that was crammed in your head about being inadequate. You are freeing yourself from the chains of feeling unworthy of a good life.

➣ You will find true beauty in every corner of you. Beauty in your laugh, beauty in how you dance, beauty in how you take care of yourself, beauty in what you care about, inner beauty that cannot be taken from you or scaled down. You will nurture your inner world, thus adding color to your outer world.

➣ During this major life-changing period, your view of reality will flip in a way you never thought imaginable. Life will feel worth living again. Your music will move you more and the swift pass of wind will invigorate you with new ideas for creative projects that will propel you forward to lifelong prosperity.

➣ I’m hearing 🎵 “… I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you” from Make Me Proud by Drake. Congratulations babe, you just broke a fucking karmic cycle. 10 of cups, following the 5 of cups??? You have graduated from a dark knight of the soul and are now approaching new, abundant energy.

➣ The universe is proud of you. Your ancestors are proud of you. Your inner child is proud of you. Your God(s) is proud of you. All of the cells in your body are proud of you. You have released something cosmically within you. Please hug yourself and have a good cry because you are doing something you never believed you could. Your hopes and dreams are unfolding.

➣ Get ready to make your daydream your reality.  With the chariot, you’re prepping to TAKE AWWFF BABY. The release of this blockage has raised your energetic vibration and is ushering bountiful opportunities into your life, new passions, new ideas, and new connections. 

➣ Your newfound faith in yourself is going to give you the courage to go out and experience life. Most importantly you will find satisfaction in the mundane. Every frame of your day will be brighter and feel better. You have gone from 5 empty cups to an eternally flowing fountain. Take the time to thank yourself for all of the hard work you put in to get here. 

➣ Advice: Extend yourself grace. During this period, you will have enlightening moments that will unlock pieces of the puzzle surrounding your trauma and a lot more will make sense and become easier to process. 

➣ However, as the flawed humans we are, we tend to make sense of something and then turn around and beat ourselves up for not realizing it sooner. Or, minimizing our pain and criticizing our past selves for not doing more about it because hindsight truly is a dirty dawg. No that is not how it works. 

➣ That’s like when you were in school and the teacher would start bullying you for not understanding a subject. YOU HAVE A DEGREE??? I’m fourteen?? Of course, you can say it's simple when you have already “graduated” and learned from it, not when you’re in the middle of experiencing it.  You gained clarity during this tower moment and can now see the bigger picture and liberate yourself. 

➣ Younger you fought to make your way through the fog and deserves grace because you would not be here today without your younger self’s perseverance. Forgive yourself for the time it took to get here and see the beauty in your evolution throughout the journey.

➣ Also, drink plenty of water and get rest!! It’s Pisces season, and a Pisces new moon is coming too. Most of your trauma will unravel while you’re unconscious. Please get plenty of rest and hydrate. This pile has Cancer/4th house energy written all over it. Mother yourself during this period. Clean your room, make your favorite foods, watch cheesy movies, and splurge on special skin care. Pamper yourself. okay I'm done. KISSES.

"My consciousness has outgrown this vessel"

✧ Pile Two ✧ (4ofS, the tower, the wheel of fortune, the emperor, the lovers, judgment, 7ofW, ace of wands)

Life's gotta always be messing with me (you wanna see the light) Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I) Can't I take away all this pain? (You wanna see the light) I try to every night, all in vain, in vain

Justice.

➣ I asked for a song to explain the central theme of your reading and I got "Freak on a Leash" by Korn. I get the feel that one of the main struggles of your life path is unfair judgment. People are quick to create a false narrative of you and run off with it.

➣ If you read my last PAC, “What is most alluring about you”, you may have chosen pile 2 or 3. With the seven of wands, you are constantly under attack.

➣ Take what resonates but I see a few scenarios. People may be quick to paint you as a bad person without getting to know you. Your public reputation was heavily influenced by rumors from people who intentionally wanted you to be disliked. People will take something small, blow it out of proportion, and try to impose it as a character flaw. Oh, you don’t eat the crust on your sandwich? How wasteful! There are starving kids out there, you’re so inconsiderate!! and then everyone else in the room who claims to not like you (but are truly your biggest fans) are oooing, ahhing, and egging that hating ass bitch on. 

➣ I’m seeing a bus. You may have been betrayed and thrown under the bus a few times before. This is the pile of my Lilith placements. Your power is your ability to garner attention, both good and bad. You attract a lot of envy. The ugliest emotion, in my opinion. It’s partners in crime with greed. 

➣ For some of you, I am getting the message that all of this underserved hate has sent you into a dark mental space and driven you to take an attempt on your life. And if you like my messages or my readings please believe me when I say this,

 I know you are meant for greatness. I picked up on your energy and you found this reading for a reason. Just like the Universe and everything within it, we go through cycles. And I know this is a long, painful cycle but it will come to an end and you will get out of this darkness. From the bottom of my heart, I feel your importance and I am happy you are here to share this moment with me. Keep swimming, I support you, the Universe supports you. The sun is rising and is offering you a new beginning.

➣ In this dark period in your life, the negative attention may have outweighed the good. I see a theme of being outcasted and isolated. Severe bullying. For some, even abuse. Like pile one, you have gone into hermit mode and isolated yourself from the unfair judgment of the world. 

➣ But head up muffin, the scales are balancing, and the wheel of judgment is turning in your favor. Following the wheel of fortune, you got the fucking emperor!!! You will come out of this on top. The people who kicked you while you were down will have to swallow their pride and kneel to shine your shoes while you sit rightfully on the throne. The public scrutiny you face needs to balance itself out karmically.

➣ Think Megan Thee Stallion. I won’t bring up any of her business, but if you've been keeping up with social media, there is a good chance you are well aware of it. That woman has gone through the unimaginable, one traumatic event following the other all while facing an obscene amount of public scrutiny. She had to go into solitary and off the internet to rebuild her life. But guess what??? MY GIRL STAYS ON TOP>>>>> After all the bullshit she endured, she’s coming out on the top of the charts, brand deals with major conglomerates, she is the people’s princess.

➣ That’s going to be you. You have dealt with a lot of injustice in your life, now you’re coming out of your “rehabilitation” and all of the people who spent the better half of their day attempting to tear you down will have to watch your rise like a phoenix and fucking weep.

➣ People were constantly taking from you , now the universe (whatever you want) is preparing to give you the power to replace what you have lost tenfold. Ace of wands, I see that life is handing you the metaphorical talking stick. The king stick. You are being blessed with a flame in your belly (activated solar plexus chakra) and the chance to completely reinvent yourself. 

➣ There is a lot of king and authority messages here, the ball is in your court. You are being released from the shackles of public perception and these next few months will be filled with inspiration and willpower to prove everybody wrong and showcase your strength.  I feel like a good chunk of this group will get chances to be in positions of authority or importance. 

➣ This is going to sound silly but I got this exaggerated imagery of a mean person calling you poor and ugly but the next year you drive past them in a Bugatti with their sugar boo in the passenger seat. HELLOOOO.

➣ With the lovers, I see you are coming in union with what is rightfully yours. In the grand scheme of cosmic law, you are owed good fortune and it is on its way. With the tower, I see an explosion and people fleeing. You’re going to pop out stronger than ever and that’s going to scare people cause whatever superiority they got from painting you as inferior is going to blow away and their true scummy nature is going to be seen. 

➣ After this, there may even be people who pretend to be your friends and claim they supported you all along. Have faith in your discernment. I have faith in your discernment. It will all be okay pookie.

➣ Advice: Just keep swimmin' my love. <3

"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."

✧ Pile Three ✧ (queen of wands, knight of pentacles, 6oC, page of pentacles, 10oW, 3oW, the hermit)

It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Awaken.

➣ Regardless if you’re a woman, a man, somewhere in between, or none of the above, you are approaching a newfound understanding of your sexuality. For some of you, it is a full-blown sexual awakening. 

➣ Some people here are realizing their sex appeal, others are coming to terms with their lack of sexual attraction, some are learning what they like in sex and what they’re attracted to. Yes bae, all of it; the whole spectrum of sexual exploration is here.

➣ There is an emphasis on attraction to yourself. You will see a huge shift in your physical appearance. Yes, your style will change but the main reason for this glow up is because you shifted the perception of yourself into a higher light. You’re allowing yourself to feel desirable and embracing the aspects of yourself you once shunned. 

➣You will carry yourself in a higher regard and this will open doors for you. Look into the mirror and give yourself a nice smack on the ass. Your self-esteem is sexy.

➣ Pile one is on a watery emotional self-love journey, this pile is all about fire and finding out where sexuality and passionate relations fit into your life. 5th house (flings, passions, hobbies), 8th house (sex and rebirth), 9th house (adventure, connecting with your soul tribe).

➣ I asked for a song to tie up this message in a cute little bow and I got the 639 HZ frequency. This is the frequency of love, radiation, and positive energy. It is the frequency of the heart. The heart chakra is opening significantly during this glow-up.

➣ You are opening yourself to adventure and sending a high vibe out into the ether. I see a sunflower and the queen of wands is decked out in bright yellow, you are stepping into the spotlight and attracting a lot of attention. I would say Venusian attention because the aura here is very romantic and collaborative. It's like the universe is spraying you with extremely magnetic pheromones and having opportunities run at you.

➣ You are going to get a lot of offers. Love offers, career offers, party invitations, you’re going to be involved with exclusive circles. You are realizing your self-worth and now you’re attracting things and people who also see value in you.

➣ This isn’t going to resonate with everyone, but I sense that for a few of you, there is going to be a reconnection with a past lover or a past friend from your childhood (or just the past in general). I also sense a theme of using your attractiveness and people’s attraction to you to your benefit. Somehow monetize your appeal. 

➣ It is like you finally released your ugly duckling mentality and you woke up and went, “WOAH, what can I do with this???” Lmao you discovered you’re an undercover member of the pretty privilege club.

➣ Yeah, with the page of pentacles and the ten of wands, I’m seeing an entire life path open up for you. Your passion and fiery energy will get you places, and you’ll go on adventures exploring your opportunities with that. Some of you will even become spicy content creators or do some risque sex work. Orrrrrr just venture into a career path you weren’t courageous enough to do before. 

➣ You’re a giant magnet energetically right now (I mean c’mon, 639 HZ???) you’re attracting a lot of romantic suitors. But watch out, they’re not all good suitors.

➣ I pulled another card and got Justice in reverse. Some people will try to get over on you. Also, the person on the justice card looked strangely untrustworthy when I flipped it over. Once again, practice your discernment.

➣ Your romantic and passionate life is taking off and it's going to be extremely exciting, especially if you are coming out of a period of stagnancy. However, with the 3 of wands and the hermit, the cards remind you to remain centered and plan bigger. Your passion, attractiveness, and sexuality will amount to more than hookups and shallow relationships if you invest in yourself wisely.

➣ You are unlocking an advantage you have in this lifetime. Open yourself to career endeavors, social networking, and creating a strong foundation for your talents and hobbies. Yes, date and have fun but don’t spend all of your energy in one place. Your attention and your energy are your greatest currencies.

➣ To expand on the hermit, I need to emphasize you are going to be getting a LOT of attention soon (I’m getting Sun-conjunct-Venus energy, is that in your natal chart or is there a transit with Venus right now or something?). You will receive more eyes on you than average and this might overwhelm you and push you into hermit mode.

➣ That is okay, let life flow. During those moments to yourself, dream big because you have the power to pull your dreams into your reality.  You will meet lifelong friends during this period. I am sensing a power trio for some of you. 

➣ Advice: To wrap up, we all know attractiveness is social currency, and you are coming into a great deal of social wealth baby. But please spend it wisely and do not lose yourself in the crowd. Keep up with your self-work and take introspective breaks away from people so you can figure out how to best utilize this awakening for you. 

➣ You look really good in red currently. Red hair. Red lips. Red clothes. Red jewelry. The color red is bringing you a lot of abundance. Okay bye. MUAH. <3

"I said mom, I am a rich man."

✧ Pile Four ✧ (page of swords, knight of cups, wheel of fortune, temperance, 7oP, the devil rev.)

Ascension.

➣ OMG I’m so sorry, I wrote a novel for the other piles but this one is going to be short. Maybe you were drawn to another pile mainly and this is your secondary pile. BUT IT’S SHORT BECAUSE ITS FUCKING AWESOME. 

➣ The song I channeled for you was named “Elniño Prodigo” and I want to say the artist is Love Record but I'm not too sure. This means child prodigy. When I was laying out your cards, I got this sense of anticipation and impatience. Theeeennn BOOM the wheel of fortune, temperance, and the seven of pentacles smack me in the face.

➣ Oh me oh my, you are chilling in the universe’s womb just BAKIN’ being prepped for a complete rebirth. You are a prodigy, you are not meant to live an ordinary life, you are being prepared for a unique journey. I know this is going to sound hard to believe because I feel like with this pile, a large portion of your life was spent in waiting.

➣ Do you feel like you are a late bloomer? If so, trust me, it is for a reason. Whatever you build in this lifetime will be built slowly and have a solid foundation because your legacy is meant to withstand the test of time and last long after you leave this Earth. This period you’ve spent waiting is you getting your ducks in a row and sowing your seeds for the next evolution of you. I said something like this in my last pac, if that's you, heyyyyyyy i’m glad your energy stuck around, i love it.

➣ Do you have Pisces or 12th House placements mixed with Saturn significance? Whatever this glow-up exactly holds for your future is a secret. It’s the universe’s divine surprise to you. I did not get any energy detailing exact events, just something big in the works behind the scenes is making its way to you. 

➣If you’re reading this pick a card there’s a good chance you’re spiritually attuned and can feel this cosmic shift happening. Something about your energy is so excited. I imagine a hyper dog being held back by a leash because it's not quite time yet.

➣ If you’re in a period where you’re not seeing any life progression and it's causing you anxiety, relax, you are on the right track and you are where you need to be. You have not wasted time, time really isn’t even fucking real. Everything is moving slowly for a reason. 

➣In this “boring” period you are meant to tap into your inner world and curate what you want your life to look like. Create vision boards, imagine your future hobbies, involve things that mentally stimulate you, keep the spark of curiosity in your life, and nurture your inner dreamer. 

➣ You are connecting with your sensitivity at this time, finding the sweet spot where your mind and heart meet, and letting it fuel your zeal for life. Get these thoughts on paper. Journal them, draw them, sing it, and call this energy into the 3D. Your life is about to have a complete 180. Maintain faith.

➣ You’re seeing a lot of synchronicities currently. Animal synchronicities and repeating numbers(111,444,222,1144,1414). You’ll find strangely personal messages in music and media. Maybe you’re seeing shapes repetitively pop up around you in your environment, like stars or eyes. 

➣ Patience is a life lesson for this pile, there is a lesson to be learned in the stillness of your life. You are mentally restless right now, slow your body down and try out parasympathetic regulation techniques to calm your racing thoughts. Go swimming, take a class, try out a new hobby. In this “womb” era, enjoy your last moments of stillness because your life turns up a notch. I’m not even getting rebirth, I’m getting BIRTH. No matter your age, your life is truly beginning in this new season.

➣ Advice: I see a lot of clouds. I see angel symbolism. You’re ascending. You’re shedding old skin, letting go of dead weight, and you’re growing wings, getting ready to experience life to the fullest. Maintain hope that your life will pick up pace and become exciting again. 

➣ Find peace in this waiting period. Listen to bird sounds!!! They are going to calm your mind and elevate you emotionally. You’re growing your wings and getting ready to take off like a bird, you should learn from the best. Okay, I love you, the universe loves you, MUAH <3.

"Your sim has gone stir-crazy!"

watching tumblr shit on my images in real time is just...

On a lighter note, I know some of these piles are heavy, I posted my first reading two days ago, and the support I received has brought so much joy into my life. I love doing this, if you like this me doing this, I'll do this forever. I am eternally grateful for all of you likes, reblogs, and comments <3

Also, some of these piles are connected, feel free to poke around and pick up on messages spread out for you. okay, I'm done. kisses! MUAH

[interstyx]

People really don't know what they got with this episode I feel.

Just from a purely stylistic point of view -- the pool of 2010s energy this series draws from never ever ever crystallized in such a cohesive way and it might never again. Just Tessyn took a year to model and months and months to animate & VA, and it's all done with such sincere swagger. If you grew up before 2016 you SAW the pieces of this stuff pop up all over, individual writers, animators, musicians, voice actors with their separate projects that never coalesced but suggested that something like this could happen, and it did, with more competency and passion than we'd ever imagined a story of this type could get back then.

We'll have forever to vulture over the specifics of where arcs go and don't but it's worth it to take a moment, think, and realize that this stuff was monumentally ambitious and pulled off what it set out to magnificently (namely the protag trio) while balancing discordant tonal extremes.

Earlier episodes weren't as good as these things but by 7 and 8 you can see and appreciate the way the tone flows from end to end of the emotional spectrum, scene to scene of the episode, in such a way that it looks effortless, all the while keeping a solid thematic throughline. And criticize as we may the excesses of subtlety, if you sit down and consider the pacing constraints it'll click that the show's handle on the flow of information can be exceptional.

This is stuff you'll never see again in your lives. It's a type of creative energy that doesn't exist anymore put in service of an extraordinarily competent production that never loses its sincerity. Think what you may of the writing, you should appreciate this, because this is the kind of earnest creative project the world needs so badly.

[kakiastro]

Lunar Return-Your month ahead

Solar return is talked about a lot but did you know that you have a Lunar return too?

What the difference?

Solar- when the Sun orbits back into the sign & date you were born in, Aka, your birthday. Solar returns happen every year. It shows the outlook of your year ahead until your next birthday comes.

Lunar - when the Moon orbits back into the sign you were born in. Instead of a yearly analysis like the solar, this will be a monthly analysis. Every 29ish days, you have a new lunar return chart.

How do I read my lunar return chart?

- The same you would any other chart but you have to read it from a moon point of a view.

-the Moon rules over our private and home life. It rules over our family and other loved ones. It rules over our emotional needs and wants. It’s our most intimate and safe space from the outside world.

*THIS DOES NOT CHANGE YOUR NATAL CHART! Your natal chart will always be the same forever. Return charts are to show the themes of our lives. I just wanted to make that clear.

The breakdown of the chart

For example: Scorpio rising

South/North Nodes- this is important because this shows you what you learned from the previous month and early on in this month (SN) to what you want to learn at the end of this month(NN). SN Taurus 7h /NN Scorpio 1h, this shows the you learned how to connect with people in a surface level and the material side of relationships. Now you you’re learning about how you emotionally connect with others but you’re looking deep within yourself first. “What do I need to feel intimacy on a deeper level”

Ascendant & Chart ruler - overall outlook for the month and what the theme is. Let’s say you have a Scorpio rising with ruler Pluto Capricorn in the 3h for this month. Themes of power, money topics such as loans and debts, sex, intellectual and emotional bonds, research, grandparents/elders, career, siblings, cars related topics, short travel and your local neighborhood will be the main topics

Moon- since this is a Lunar chart, the moon is the first planet after the chart ruler that we should be looking at. The moon sign will always be the same as your natal moon, hence “lunar return” the house the moon falls in is the most important. If you have a Libra moon, it would be in your 12h for this month. So you may feel like going into hermit mode, being more creative, traveling to a foreign unknown land or territory, if you’re interested in spirituality or holistic, traveling to the beach or being near water, going to the hospital, prison visit(hey, you never know)

Sun- this will be the not so private part of our lives out in the open. The Sun is the one that highlights everything in our life. It’s our life force. Let’s say the Sun is in Gemini 8h. This really enhanced the Scorpio energy so reread those themes that I wrote above now add the Gemini energy. This may be the month a lot of secrets or just deeply hidden emotions boil over to the surface. It’s giving death and rebirth season

Mercury-this will show your daily routine(s) throughout the month. It’s your health and possible health concerns, what you’ll be mostly thinking, talking about throughout this month. It also rules over your pets. If Mercury is in Gemini 8h along with the Sun then this could be time you really talk about your fears, worries, trauma, your healing growth journey, money problems or blessings, you may change something drastic about your routine, getting 2 new pets or giving one away, your hands such as breaking a nail or finger, getting new rings .

Venus- this will show you what your relationship(s), finances, your physical home and your personal possessions in it, food habits . Let’s say you have a Venus Virgo 11h. Posting a life update on social media, changing up your diet, you could be more vocal about your struggles or just struggles in general on social media, being of service and helping strangers more this month

Mars- this will show you where you’re putting your most energy in this month. Mars rules over our physical body and what get us up and moving. Mars is in Aries 6h for this month, yore putting a lot of your energy into yourself, your health, your job, your pets,it’s all about healing you this month, keep in mind too mars is also your chart ruler because it also rules Scorpio.

Jupiter- this will show you where you’re doing too much lol jk..sort of😅 this can show you where in will be expanded upon, your faith, what you’ll learn, your ideals, long distance travels, court case(if you have one), your good luck for this month. Jupiter Aries 6h with Mars, remember when I said you’ll be focused on you lol, oh with Jupiter, it’s even more intense and heightened

Saturn-this will show the sucky but rewarding parts of the month. Saturn is always trying to teach us some lessons which is never fun. However, if you applied what you know then this is growth which is the goal right? Saturn in Pisces 5h, getting serious about your creativity projects, expressing yourself in a more fluid but serious. You know you could express more of your subconscious thoughts to others

Uranus-the shocking and I didn’t see that coming moments for the month. Where you will want to progress. Uranus Taurus 7h, you may have a different outlook on relationships, meeting someone unexpectedly, unexpected money or buying something you didn’t think you would where.

Neptune- your subconscious thoughts for the month, only you will see this side of you. Neptune Pisces 5h, diving into unknown territory with dating, your dreams, new locations.

Pluto- transformations that we go through this month. Saturn is the hard but rewarding lessons while Pluto is the lessons that damn near breaks us and put us in a fetal position while crying with a blanket over our head, but he transforms us(up to us if it makes a good or bad one). Our fears and traumas live here so it’s not easy to go through. I don’t need to put an example here since it’s our chart ruler.

If you want to see how this plays out, keep a journal and just document the important parts that resonate with you that month. Then go back and look at your lunar chart and start connecting the dots. I would recommend to look at your lunar chart at the beginning of the month then relook at the end to see the storyline of that month in the chart. I’ll bet you 5$ you’ll be blown away!

I’m open for readings!

[heartlilith]

Astrology Observations (part 3)

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements - Part 3

🖤The Sun in a Solar Return Chart will show you what you focus on the most that year:

🐸 Sun in the 1st house: The focus will be on yourself, your image, your appearance and the way you approach life. You might start working out and becoming more fit, you might experience something that changes the way you look at life, you could change your appearance in some way; getting tattoos or changing your hairstyle. You might focus on putting yourself first and taking care of your own needs.

🐸Sun in the 5th house: The focus will be on romance, creativity, the inner child, and joy. You might prioritize having fun over working or things just seem to work out that way. You might pick up a new creative hobby; painting, writing, creating. You might find that you're around children more often than in past years. You might find that you're content and happy most of the time. You might focus on dating and meeting potential partners or maybe you don't focus on that, but it happens anyway.

🐸Sun in the 10th house: The focus for this year will be on working, your reputation and public image, your father, and fame. You might find that most of your energy is going into building a career or advancing in an existing one. You might receive a lot of attention in the work place (good or bad depending on aspects). You might have a good relationship with bosses and coworkers (again, aspects). You might have a change in relationship with your father, or this relationship becomes prominent in some way. You might get famous on tiktok!

(Should I do separate post on this?)

🖤Moon aspects can reflect what your relationship was like with your mother and how it affects your emotions.

🐸Moon square/opposition Saturn: This aspect makes you prematurely self sufficient. Maybe you couldn't count on your mother for emotional support or maybe she was ill or dealing with things that kept her from being an emotional support system. This aspect would in turn make you hesitant to voice your emotions, it can make you feel uncomfortable with vulnerability or make you side eye someone that puts on a grand display of emotions.

🐸Moon trine/sextile Saturn: This aspect could mean you have a close and strong bond with your mother. Your mother could've demonstrated how to be nurturing without smothering. This could impact your emotions by making you value family and morals. You feel a responsibility toward your loved ones and are a "rock" to them so to speak. For men, you respect women and their struggles. You might believe in traditional gender roles but nonetheless you are respectful.

🐸Moon conjunction Saturn: This aspect could signify that the father (Saturn) was absent in some way which put a lot of stress on the mother. You may have been a burden to her in some way or felt like it. Emotionally, you probably felt like you didn't get enough love or attention. This could impact your emotions by being very observant to what other people need. If your friend is outside shivering without a jacket, you would give them yours without any exchange of words. You're giving them what you lacked; love and attention. You may not trust people easily and you may miss out on opportunities because of your fear of rejection. After your Saturn Return, things can ease up with this aspect.

🖤Neptune in the 11th house natives can have friends that peer pressure them into drinking/doing drugs. Neptune rules things that put you under the influence whether that's anesthesia or other drugs like alcohol, weed, etc.

🖤Moon-Neptune hard aspects can use drugs and become addicts in order to cope with emotions. It can also manifest as being an escapist or being completely avoidant when it comes to emotions. This aspect can be seen in children who run away from home a lot.

🖤Mars - Neptune hard aspects can make you easily deceived regarding sex. Partners can "get you drunk" in order to have sex with you.

🖤Venus - Neptune hard aspects can put up with a lot of shit in relationships that other people might not. People cross your boundaries a lot because they know they can get away with it.

🖤Jupiter is known for being lucky and expansive but it can also go the other way as well. For instance, having Jupiter in the 6th house can make you extremely healthy or extremely sickly, depending on the aspects.

🖤Gemini placements might like the thought of doing something rather than actually doing it. I saw a post that said Gemini placements always carry around notebooks but have they ever filled one? That's what I thought.

🖤Air signs, especially Gemini and Aquarius, are naturally able to think outside the box. For instance, a person may think they only have 2 options and air signs name 5 more options you didn't even think of.

🖤Aries fashion sense is underrated, whether its the sun or rising sign.

🖤New York City being established on January 1st, 1898 .... do you know what sign that makes it ..... it's not a Pisces or a Taurus I'll tell you that. Astrology is real.

🖤Libra Suns and Rising women makes me think of fluffy clothes. Like teddy sweaters and those sandals with the fluff on them (examples x x x)

🖤Leo placements want to be where the sun is, do not take them on a cruise to the Arctic please ... I really wish someone told my boyfriend this

PART 1 - PART 2

[violetasteracademic]

Minor Azriel BC Re-Writes

My lovely Elriel's! I have slowed a bit on my in depth posts and fic writing. I'm not sure I'll be able to get back to my usual pace any time soon, but I got hit with a midday burst of swirling thoughts and creative energy. It began by reflecting on how differently everyone is interpreting the bonus chapter, and I realized I could only put it into words by quite literally putting it into words. So if I were to have read Azriel's bonus chapter and unequivocally believe it was foreshadowing that G/wyn and Azriel are actually mates, here is what I would have liked to see, and I'll go into why:

Adjustment:

Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where G/wyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight. Sweat beaded on her brow, a faint sheen delicately scenting the air around her. Morning mist and the mixture of steel and flames from a forge. A unique combination. Azriel had always thought so. It wasn't until he saw her again in Valkyrie training that he recalled that unique scent.

Why am I making this adjustment? Because scent is one of the earliest, most prominent indicators SJM uses to indicate mate behavior long before a mate reveal. And yes, even just in a bonus chapter. Cassian has a very intense experience with Nesta's scent in their bonus chapter:

Now, one might argue that bringing up G/wyn's scent would have made it too obvious, and maybe SJM wanted to leave a little mystery. However, scent is not always related to mates. Scenting can occur platonically, as Feyre is the first to notice and describe Azriel's scent. It can occur between family. Feyre, again, experiences and describes the scent of both of her sisters first. In fact, before she is even Fae, experiences Tamlin's rain and earthen scent. So one could argue that scent is not explicitly mate related, but it is connected to closeness, trust, and yes, often sexuality and romance even if it isn't endgame. But it is always relevant in endgame couples, no matter what.

There is no indicator that, after knowing her for years, after finding her in Sangravah, and spending every day training with her, G/wyn smells like anything at all to him. The word scent was not included in the G/wyn and Azriel section of the BC, but it was repeated in Elain's portion, both in terms of him experiencing her scent, him worrying she'd be able to scent his feelings and arousal, and his describing the scent of Elain and L/ucien's mating bond being too much:

So for me personally, I would have loved for Az to have noticed or comment on G/wyn's scent. Even if it was done in a way that could have been interpreted as romantic or platonic to make for a really interesting conversation. Especially in a setting where there is sweat and exercise, areas we know SJM loves to make sexy and scent the air.

Moving on to the next alteration I would have liked to see a little more from:

Adjustment:

He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. He blocked out the bloody memory that flashed, so at odds with the G/wyn he saw before him now. He tamped down the rage at that memory. Tried to push back that cold, unrelenting violence that had taken over him when he saw G/wyn lying there. Azriel had been instructed to keep some of the soldiers alive for questioning. He had never broken those orders before. He tried not to linger on the memory, or question why he had lost control that day.

Mostly I see this as an argument from G/wynriel's- that Azriel showed mate behavior when he slaughtered every soldier in the room ready to SA her. While I don't agree, and I think anyone would have done the same, the reality of the situation is that we already have Azriel's POV reflecting on that moment. Right there. And he didn't think much, if anything, of it. Even one single sentence alluding to some sort of emotion regarding what happened to her, or a small note that he was glad he slaughtered all of those men, and would gladly do it again, though perhaps now G/wyn could handle herself and would not need Azriel to save her today (again, touching on G/wynriel ideas here) would have been nice. But nope. No thoughts at all about that day. No rage or anger, no recollection of feelings he had that day. No indicator that he was supposed to keep some soldiers alive but didn't. Nothing at all to suggest he had a unique or out of character experience that day. It would have been very easy to add something small here without making it too much.

Sarah also loves to use terms like "tried not to think about why" or "didn't ask herself/himself why" ect. to indicate there are obvious feelings or thoughts happening, but the MC simply isn't ready to face them yet.

And again, we have this moment with Nesta and Cassian where Cassian goes into a near feral mate rage at the thought of Nesta being harmed by another man in the past in a bonus chapter years before their book came out:

Cassian knows something happened to her because of the shift in her scent. The death that Cassian's eyes promised was so intense, Nesta wouldn't give up Thomas's name, even thought he assaulted her. She thought no one deserved what Cassian would do. As he later clarified, hunt him down and shatter every bone in his body.

Again, we see this repeatedly with mates. If their mate is in danger, if their mate has been harmed, the men cannot contain their rage. Rhys is happy to let Feyre make her own choice to be with Tamlin, until he realizes she is withering away. Until he realizes she is unhappy. And if she were ever taken against her will, he would tear the world apart to find her.

These two small changes would have made a world of difference in terms of me really questioning Elriel and whether or not their book is next.

In general, I find it so interesting what people do and no not see as chemistry. Obviously I think Azriel being ready to beg on his knees for a taste of Elain, his eyes nearly rolling in the back of his head at her scent (both things that happened in Nessian's bonus chapter) is chemistry. Them being so astronomically down bad for each other that they don't care that their horny scents are filling up the whole house when her mate is literally steps away is chemistry. I think them buying secret presents for each other, and their hands shaking as they exchange them in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep is chemistry. I think them wanting to touch each other, even just the once, because they literally cannot stop themselves around each other is chemistry. I think them facing war and blood duels and the loss of allies because they don't understand why they are not mates is chemistry.

I am not going to spend time assessing whether or not G/wyn and Azriel's banter is romantic chemistry or not, because that is clearly personal and up for interpretation. What I will say is it read the exact same to me as Azriel teaching Feyre how to fly, which was also fun, respectful, full of banter and genuine enjoyment of each others company and Azriel's secret snarky sense of humor. So if SJM wanted to differentiate Feyre and Azriel's flying lessons from G/wyn and Azriel's ribbon cutting lessons, those are the minor adjustments I would have liked to see.

As it stands, Azriel and Elain want each other like no ones business, which is why I want them to be together and anticipate they will carry the next story with all of the stakes and established plot surrounding all of the things that could happen if Elain and Azriel tried to be together. If Azriel and G/wyn are going to be revealed to be mates, I'll need SJM to do a lot of explaining as to why Azriel did not experience anything mate like towards her and also understand why their plot is more powerful and interesting than Elriel's, which as of now simply isn't able to be compared because it doesn't exist yet. Why he continued to lose sleep and stare at a gift from another woman every night for a year when he saw his mate every single day. When he saved his mate, and apparently feels nothing about it now, but who still gets flashes of anger and rage in this very same book when he thinks about Elain being kidnapped.

Regardless of how you feel about his shadows hearing G/wyn's silent music and dancing with it (I'll be doing a post on his shadows later, especially after some bombs dropped in HOFAS, though I can't promise when), whether or not you noticed all of the parallels between Nesta and G/wyn and Azriel and G/wyn (the seven pm bell chime for the evening priestess service, the sense of calm around G/wyn, the hearing a silent song that seems to come from her and calling explicitly to them, the glow surrounding G/wyn's imagery, their powers interacting, feeling a desire to caw about her or see her smile for whatever reason) I simply don't see how Azriel could be years into knowing G/wyn, seeing her and training with her every single day, seeing her harmed and in distress, seeing her kidnapped, and still he has no emotions over the things that have happened to her. No feral male rage. No awareness of her scent. No indicator he is acting in a special way towards her that he doesn't do towards other females.

I could go on, but this seems like a good place to wrap up!

I don't cross tag, and would appreciate sticking to pro elriel tags should you reblog, which I highly encourage and always appreciate! As always, my work is for Elriel's and not intended to start a fight on the internet with strangers who think differently than I do! I don't think any minds will be changed until the book announcement. I will certainly respect whatever direction SJM decides to go, but some directions certainly require a LOT more work than others based on how everything has read to me.

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 🪺🪺🪺

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

It’s well after Easter, I’ve intended it to post it earlier, but enjoy it still nevertheless.😊

🪺 Capricorn Moon always has older friends, either by a year or even 10 years older. Older people than them kind of “adopt” them as friends due to have mature they appear.

🐣 Scorpio Risings have wider area at the knees that stands out more in their overall body. Their knees are larger and more prominent even if they have slim legs.

🪺 Pisces Moons are incredibly resilient and persistent emotion wise in an argument. Their a bit manipulative nature can play out as you stressing yourself out on your own more then them stressing you. While they just silently observe and have a stress free attitude towards you. They know they can drain people by keeping calm and not reacting, so that the other person ends up more stressed then them and likely gives up on an argument.

🐣 Gemini IC always had pets growing up, most often cats, but could be any other animal as well. They might have an opinion that pets are a must in a home.

🪺 Aries over the 4th house dabbled into many, many sports when younger. This was the person to have roller skates at home, a scooter, skateboard, jumping rope, all types of balls, tennis rackets. They swam in the summer and skied in the winter. These people have A LOT of energy for different sports and they likely master every sport they put their mind to.

🐣 Jupiter in the 11th house can be undecided on marriage, they could marry unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere despite never talking much about marriage. Or they always picture marriage somewhere in the future when they think about their future goals.

🪺 Whenever Saturn is transiting your 2nd house you will be spending more with your family. You might also take familial relationships more seriously.

🐣 Capricorn Moons could often vacation with their family even after creating their own family or still well into adulthood. One celebrity example is Kourtney Kardashian, a Capricorn Moon native and the Kardashians are known for their family trips.

🪺 Aquarius Juno would always encourage their lover to pursue and follow their independent goals, dreams (especially connected with work and career). They might actually be okay if their lover doesn’t prioritize their partnership over career, long-term goals, desires and wishes. Also, Aquarius Juno natives are very entreprenurial people who always participate in group work projects, different creative side projects and are constantly involved with fun projects that allow them to follow their dream career.

🐣 Libra Juno or Juno in the 7th house might view marriage as the end goal of a partnership (or they grew up with that kind of mentality).

🪺 Pisces Mars, Mars Neptune and Mars in the 12th house in the Composite chart indicates that you would dedicate or gift each other art (songs, poems, illustrations, drawings, paintings).

🐣 Scorpio Rising often has two types as their “ideal mate”, either someone very creative and musical or very into daily routine, fitness, wellbeing, a sports person.

🪺 People with Eros at 22 or 28 degrees can be much slower to lose their virginity. I most often noticed they hold certain more conservative beliefs around sexuality, were raised more religious hence wanting to wait or might just feel like they can’t properly express their sexual nature when younger, might feel a bit repressed somehow.

🐣 Leo Moon and Moon in the 5th house, also Pisces Mars love to surround themselves with music throughout the day or whenever they are doing something.

🪺 Mars at a Pisces degree in the Composite chart indicates letter writing or you write each other really long e-mails.

🐣 Juno in the 12th house might truly be the person that don’t really have a type. They pay attention to the vibe they get with you. If they feel like they vibe with you and your presence, they vibe with you.

🪺 Mercury in the 1st house overlay in a Synastry chart can point to the fact that characteristics of your friends are different. You have almost opposing taste in friends. Your friends are not really that similar. Yet, you two still manage to have some mutual friends in common.

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

[multidimensionalguidance]

Dominant Archetype For 2024

Intuitive/Oracle Reading for all (12) sidereal signs

Services

I was able to find this beautiful and insightful deck with 80 different archetypes that represent the many facets of our unconscious, subconscious, and conscious mind. This is the dominant archetype you are currently and will continue on embodying for the remainder of the year. Enjoy <3

Aries

Prince Archetype

You're filled with romantic charm and potential for power. There's a need for being generous, fair, compassionate, and full of wisdom but it must be balanced. The shadow aspects of this archetype are manifested from a sense of entitlement, and using your position and power to your own interest regardless to needs nor impact on others.

There might be matters of love that you are sabotaging, own up to your self power and bring the change you deserve for yourself. Do not allow your old wounds and triggers to dictate your present or future decisions. You've been given the abilities to see beyond the superficial and understand where real power comes from.

Taurus

Goddess Archetype

This is the light feminine expressed through wisdom, nature, life force, and sensuality. You are fitting the energy of your ruling planet very well, but keep in mind that the shadow aspects manifest in extreme self indulgence, and exploitation of the female nature and form in some way.

Make sure you're putting all of this abundant energy towards becoming an active advocate of a cause that aids your self growth along with others. It is time to focus on developing within a community, just be wary of not using this to gain leverage or superiority over others.

Gemini

Victim Archetype

You might currently find yourself dominantly playing an archetype that prevents you from letting yourself be victimized or victimizing others, but it also implies the inability to receive positive feedback without playing the victim as well. You don't need sympathy nor pity from other in order to feel validated and seen. Your opinion is the only one that truly matters, find the strength behind it.

Keep in mind that everyone has this archetype, but the goal is to recognize it enough to stop inappropriate attitudes towards ourselves and act from a place of power. This card also speaks of not being able to maintain personal boundaries.

Avoid turning your pain into a joke all the time, its minimizing it and blocking you emotionally. Even if its helpful to laugh through the pain when needed, don't deny your emotions nor others.

Cancer

Midas/Miser Archetype

You are currently being a natural entrepreneur or having creative abilities that can turn into gold. This is a state of sharing your riches happily and enjoying abundance. The shadow comes from hoarding money, emotions, and having an obsessive fear of losing it. With this archetype wealth could be your best friend or worst enemy. What are you're willing to sacrifice for money?

It can be good to use your social abilities to become a jack of all trades, but be wary of the dangers behind only staying in shallow waters with all of your knowledge. Its not about cutting corners, specially when there's ulterior motives or hidden agendas.

Leo

The Hedonist Archetype

You are inspiring others with your creative energy to embrace the good things in life, and the joy of celebrating beauty in yourself. The shadow aspects are pursuing pleasure to a detrimental degree. It makes you indulge at the expenses of others. As if it was an insatiable appetite for life, good food, wine, sex, and sensuality.

Be mindful of not using your ability to identify aggressive/hostile tactics, hidden intentions, and humility to your advantage in certain situations. Do not succumb to taking what isn't your or bullying others when you're getting what you want. You can achieve your lifestyle goals without sacrificing your power to become codependent of others.

Virgo

The Trickster Archetype

There is a strong energy of transcending from conventional, uncomfortable, and painful predictable situations or behaviors. This helps you see situations outside of the box and give others creative alternatives. The shadow sides come in manipulating by not being honest with yourself and with others. Its your ability to find loopholes in situations and the compulsive need to move forward from anything negative as fast as possible.

It is also possible you're playing double agent due to divine intervention, meaning that you cannot or do not want to disclose what you know. Allow yourself to explore uncharted territory and situations that are simply out of your control.

Focus on your potential to see the sacred beauty and possibility in all things. Feed your inner child with hope, and not with pessimism or disbelief.

Libra

Rebel Archetype

You've been challenging authority to create a social change. It has been leading you to reject spiritual or governmental systems that are unable to serve nor satisfy your needs. The shadow side comes in rejecting all legitimate authority out of frustration, rebelling out peer pressure, or for outside validation.

There might be talents for creating and supporting life that are being positively appearing or conversely there might an abuse of authority arising. Pay attention to the current patterns in which you've had to rebel, and reflect on the underlying motivations.

Scorpio

Child: Nature Archetype

There are several expressions of our inner child, and for you the rest of the year will be all about friendship with animals and connecting with nature spirits very easily. There's a real toughness and ability to survive against all odds at this moment. You're respecting very heavily the seed of life that lays within all living and conscious creatures. The shadow side is hurting or abusing animals, people, or your environment.

You are or will be heavily tapping into your inner child and filling it with lots of magic and nurturing energy. Stay connected to your belief of knowing everything is possible, and be aware of any heavily pessimist, depressed, or distorted inner views.

Sagittarius

King Archetype

You are in a state of being completely aware, and choosing to take benevolent leadership in your life. Those who are around you or close to you are benefiting immensely from your charge. You give them a real sense of stability and control that comes from strong boundaries. The shadow aspect is an excessive feeling of entitlement and as if you deserve rulership without any restraint.

There will be plenty of meaningful learning and alchemizing that knowledge into long life wisdom. You have accepted with humility and devotion to simply become a learner of life and opening up to the lifelong journey. Don't allow arrogance limit your connection with others or keep you stuck from not knowing how translate knowledge into action.

Capricorn

Angel Archetype

You are helping those in need with no expectation of what you might receive back, and staying connected to divinity and angels at the moment. This is a state of being loving, nurturing in character, and being a sort of fairy godmother/godfather to those who are in need of some love and warm.

The shadow aspects come from acting falsely innocent/unaware to manipulate and mislead others, or falsely claiming to be in touch with angelic guidance.

It seems you're tapped into divinity from an inner child level, so your aura of innocence, purity, desire for redemption, or having a special connection with divinity is real and authentic. Cherish all of it while protecting your energy!

Aquarius

Rescuer Archetype

You are and will continue to provide strength, support to others in their moments of crisis, and truly acting out of love with no expectation of rewards. The shadow aspect is assuming that those you aid in their worst moments will reciprocate or keeping those you help in a constant state of need.

You are using your gift for mediating with fairness, strategy, and respect for all parties in different aspects of life, but be wary of doing this with ulterior motives or hidden agendas.

Pisces

Destroyer Archetype

You are releasing what is potentially destructive or preparing yourself for a complete new you, life, reality, etc. There is a deep call for a complete rebuild of yourself at the moment, and it can beneficial if you're letting go of self limiting beliefs.

The shadow aspect is becoming intoxicated with your power to create chaos/destruction and drowning those around you in the process. You need to become aware of your ability to notice when someone or something is draining you life force, and ensure that its not coming from you. You don't need to deplete others energy to survive, nor need to rely on codependency.

Think of the times when you've felt exhausted from interacting with others and the times where you've noticed others feeling this way after spending time around you. Are others taking too much? And how do you notice when you're doing it too?

[dirtybitfic]

Reality- pt.1

Matt x y/n - Matt was your creative writing professor throughout all four years of university , he made lectures interactive and fun making him your favorite professor , throughout having him as your professor you caught feelings for him , now that you have graduated you think about reaching out....

( didn't proofread cause I didn't have the energy so I apologize if there are any typos)

Y/n pov-

Ive been having the time of my life on vacation with my best friends , we graduated this past spring so we decided to plan an amazing trip to Greece .

Im more than happy to be done with school for the rest of my life but ... I find myself missing one class in particular on this trip . Every time I sit down to read or write about my day or even as I write the book i'm working on , I think back to my creative writing teacher . Ive always loved writing wether it was my dreams as a kid or crazy stories my mind would come up with I found it made me happy . After having Professor Sturniolo for four years he made me fall involve with literature and writing even more . The day I graduated he told me he was so proud of the student I had become in his class , he loved my determination and creativity , and he loved watching me blossom into the hopefully soon to be author I am .

I grew to love him and a professor but also I slowly felt the feelings blossom for him throughout the years . I mean he's young , he was only 23 my freshman year and 19 year old me was foaming at the mouth walking into that lecture hall , His fluffy brown hair, Peircing blue eyes, tattoo scattered arm and deep but calm voice god he was just perfect.

Im three glasses of Santo down while writing a few chapters of my book but start to read over it a bit and feel like its missing something but I cant quite figure out what. Thats when I remember Professor sturniolo told me I could email him anything I write in the future if I ever needed notes or help , he is a published author after all . I search in my notes for his personally email he gave me and start up an email .

*email to profesor Sturniolo

Hi mr. Sturniolo ,

Im sorry to bother you , but I wanted to see if you could maybe read over my latest chapters of my book i'm writing . I trust that you will give me the feed back and guidance I need .

hope your summer is going well !

( inserts pages for him to read)

sincerely , y/n

After clicking send my stomach flutters with nerves , the books I write are... suggestive is the best way to put it . Dark romance is the style i've always been drawn to something about a stalker romance does something to me . When I was in his class I kept it classy with my writing style so having him read this type of work by me seems a bit inappropriate but then again he is no longer my professor so its not as bad .

I set my computer aside and fill my glass again and take a sip as I look over the beautiful scenery in front of me . I put my AirPods in as I start playing Young and beautiful by lana del rey . I close my eyes feeling the warm breeze blow through my hair as a smile spreads across my face . I could get used to this life , traveling around , writing in beautiful places just being happy while doing what I love.

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac comes on next and I stand as I slowly dance along to the music on the terrace and dramatically turn and grab the railing leaning back . It feels like i'm in a movie with how beautiful the scenery around me is . I hear the sound of an incoming email notification and my heart drops . I pause the song and sit back down looking at my computer seeing its from him . I take a deep breathe before opening it.

Good evening y/n,

I just started reading over the first few pages , your writing is amazing its filled with raw emotion which as a reader makes me more interested to keep reading . Would you be up or able to call once I finish fully reading what you've sent I think it would be a lot quicker for me to just tell you on the phone my feedback then type it out in an email.

Sincerely , Matt.

As I read over the email again just to make sure I read it correctly my heart literally falls to my ass . Im embarrassingly eager to talk to him on the phone . I decide to send him and email saying id love to call and left my number at the bottom .

I sit in the chair buzzing with nerves waiting for my phone to ring. I zone out looking at the water for god knows how long before I snapped out of my trance by my phone ringing. I look to see its a California # meaning its probably Matt.

I shakily pick up the phone and put it on speaker .

"Hi y/n its so nice to hear from you" his voice rumbles through the phone " You too I know its probably very late in California so I'm sorry for emailing you so late" I say shakily as the nerves fully take over my body." oh no please done apologize i'm actually in Italy right now so its not late at all" he says and I gulp Italy isn't too far from here meaning were probably in the same time zone. " oh god even worse ...I bothered you on vacation didn't I?" I ask now feeling terrible for bothering him. " No no trust me your fine i'm taking sometime here to get inspired for some upcoming books i'm writing so really its no bother at all" he says ending it with a warm chuckle that makes me smile. " well thank you again for even taking the time to do this I really appreciate it " I say sweetly " of course so lets talk about these chapters so far , I love the base line I think you've written dane very well , the detail you write about him makes it easy for me to envision him and get a feel for the character , ivory is written even better I mean she almost reminds me of you , but I think its missing some fear aspects . What I mean by that is Dane is her stalker and is following her around and entering her house without invitation so I feel like she should be more scared and fight back more than you have her , I feel like she's a bit too ... calm about the situation. I think if you add in that fear hes distilled in her it will help a lot with their character and relationship growth throughout the rest of the book but other than that I think the writing is amazing so far . I really am happy you came to me for help , I know I could be a little hard on you guys but I really did care about seeing you grow into the amazing writer I know you can be" he says and I cant stop smiling , hearing his kind words and praises have my stomach twisting and my heart beating a mile a minute. " I knew something was missing thank you so much this feedback really did help Mr. sturniolo " I say and I hear him chuckle " Of course and please call me Matt no need for the formality , you probably need to get some sleep I could imagine its very late in Oregon " he says and I smile

" well it is but i'm actually in Greece right now so i'm not to tired" I say " Oh wow then I guess you're watching a beautiful sunset right now , its beautiful here I can only imagine how amazing it is there" he says as I sigh and smile " It really is beautiful , the way it reflecting off the water is the best part " I say as I stand up and walk over to the railing looking out at the beautiful colors filling the sky " show me " he says and I furrow by eyebrows in confusion " what do you mean ?" I ask nervously " Face time me I want to see how beautiful it really is " he says calmly . " O-okay " I say as I hit the face time button and it connects almost instantly , I flip the camera quickly as I show it to him but instead of looking at it with him i'm staring at how fucking hot he looks . " wow your weren't lying its amazing " he says as his eyes move around taking in my view " I know , this place really makes the U.S seem dull and boring " I say as I still cant stop admiring him . "Sadly I have to agree with you on that " He says smiling . He flips his camera showing me the sunset he's currently seeing. " Oh my god ... its beautiful especially on a vineyard god I cant even imagine " I gasp as I take in the view . " It really is something huh" he says behind the camera . "mhm" I hum back smiling . He flips his camera back to his face and reluctantly so do I as I go to sit back down in my chair. " So are you in Greece all alone ?" he asks and I shake my head . " No i'm here with some friends but they've left me alone so I can write a little bit" I say and look into his beautiful eyes through the screen. " Ahh well that seems fun , a big trip with friends is always a good time " he says smiling taking a sip of wine . I admire him as I sigh and smile "Yeah its fun I just... I know i'm only 22 but I feel like i'm too old to be going out like they want to you know , its an every night thing " I say and he shakes his head laughing " trust me you are not too old y/n , you should be going out and having fun ... your young you gotta take advantage of it " he says and I smile " yeah I guess your right " I agree and he smiles before looking slightly behind me . I turn around seeing two of my friends standing by the back door smiling " WHO IS THATTTT " one of them yells and I smack her as she approaches . " No seriously hes so hot " my other friend says smirking . My face gets so red I look like a tomato . " Im so sorry Matt .... I should probably go but thank you again for the help " I rush out nervously " Of course y/n feel free to reach out anytime i'm more than happy to help " he says with a smirk that has me about to pass out in my chair . " Sounds good , have a good night " I say smiling " You too gorgeous " he says before hanging up. I gulp as I realize what he said before he hung up and my heart literally beets so loud I can hear it in my ears and feel it in my head.

" Guys seriously ... That was my old professor " I say as I turn to them still red in embarrassment . " WAIT LIKE ... PROFESSOR STURNIOLO THE ONE YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT" she squeals and I nod . " Oh my god y/n whatttt ... he called you beautiful " she gasps and I hide my face in my hands . " I knowww " I say in a high pitched voice embarrassed. " Okay but like ... a FaceTime is crazyyyy , how did that even happen?" my friend ally asked and she sat down Callie doing the same. " well I emailed him asking if he would maybe read the recent chapters of my book and give me some feedback because I was struggling and then he emailed back and said it would be easier to call instead of email his notes so I gave him my number and then he told me that he thought my writing was great and a couple things I needed to add and then somehow we got to talking and he said he was in Italy and I said I was here and then he said something about how he was watching a beautiful sunset and I told him I was too then he asked me to show him over FaceTime so I did and then you guys came out and yeah " I rambled as they reacted with facial expressions and small gasps and squeals .

" No fucking way I mean girl ... he's gotta be into you I men he fully initiated the calls and shit andddd kept the conversation going after giving you the notes so like ..." ally says making me smile and blush . "Oh for sure he definitely wants you " Callie says smirking and shoving my shoulder . " No he doesn't y'all are reading into it to much" I say as I roll my eyes. " Y/n he called you beautiful ... be so for real right now he definitely likes you " Ally says and I cant help the smile that spreads across my face. " Okay I mean yeah but ... he was my professor we cant go there" I say and shake my head " Oh yes you fucking can , you graduated he isn't your professor anymore " Callie says making me laugh " okay whateverrr now lets go out I need to get drunk " I say as I close my computer and head back inside to get ready.

After a long night of drinking , dancing and laughing with my friends and random people we met throughout the night , Im stumbling up the stairs to our place with all of us giggling like school girls . " Y/n you should totally text him " Callie giggles and I laugh " No I may be drunk but I still know that would not be a good idea" I say and they all giggle " Oh come on you've wanted him for 4 years and he called you beautiful there's no way he'd shoot you down" ally says and I trip making us all laugh. " Shut the fuck up i'm not gonna do it " I say back but the thought runs through my head . " I mean you can send him a picture of this sunrise and say something like , this view would be better if you were beside me " she says and I burst out laughing " That is terrible like level 10 cringey " I say through gasps and giggles. " Okay yeah it was pretty bad but like send him a pic of it and say , is it as beautiful there or something" Callie says and I think about it " You know what okay fine ill do it" I say as I tussle through my purse grabbing my phone and taking a picture sending it to him then the " is it as beautiful there as it is here" .We all steel when I hit send and I throw my phone back in my bag .

" Alright i'm going to bed , my head is spinning right now" I say as I stumble to my room . I tear off my uncomfortable shoes and outfit and use a makeup wipe to get a good amount of my makeup off . Then flopping into bed way to exhausted and drunk to put pajamas on . I hear my phone ding so I fish it out now my purse seeing its a text from Matt . I open it and see its a picture of a sunrise with a text that says " Its pretty but not as breath taking as you" I gasp and throw my phone down giggling . I think of what to text back and decide to let my intrusive thoughts win " Thats a naughty thing to say Mr. sturniolo I was your student after all" with a smiley :) . I giggle at my text but my heart drops when I see the bubbles appear . " Key word was , ive always thought you were beautiful y/n I just kept those feelings hidden for the sake of being professional " his text read and I gasped . No way he just confessed to finding me attractive for these past four years . " Are you fucking with me ?" I text back . " No I mean every word I said , you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen" he texts back and I scream into my pillow . " Well if we are being honest here ... i've had the biggest crush on you , the entire time I was in your class I couldn't keep my eyes off of you" I text back letting the alcohol fully take over . " Oh really , how many times did you fantasize about me during class?" he asks and I get nervous " every single day to be honest" I text back and 4 seconds later my phone is ringing . I pick it up giggling .

" Y/n " he greets " Matt " I greet back and I can hear him groan " Such a dirty girl for fantasizing about your professor " his deep morning voice says through the phone and I literally have to cover my mouth son moan doesn't slip out . " mm I have no shame about it " I say back smiling like a maniac " Oh I bet you don't , care to share any of these little thoughts you've had about me ?" he asks in a breathy tone making me clench my thighs " mmm I don't know, How bad do want to hear them? " I ask in a drunk but also seductive voice " Very bad " he answers back and I smile " Well i've thought about how you'd be in bed even had day dreams about it in class " I said and I could hear him groan " Oh trust me I know ... the way you'd look at me with your thighs clenched tight told me all I needed to know" he says with a deep chuckle . " y-you noticed that? I ask in a squeaky tone . "sweetheart I notice everything , you really think I didn't know you wanted me come on you made it so obvious" he says in a deep condescending tone making me clench my thighs as wetness pools between them . " I ... I didn't think I was that obvious " I say feeling embarrassed " No need to be embarrassed , I though about you too ... so so many times I wanted to take you over my desk but I couldn't ... but now now I can say whatever I want and there will be no consequences" he practically growls through the phone . I let a small whimper escape my lips and I can hear him groan . " God y/n you have no idea what you do to me" he groans and I whimper . " I could say the same to you Professor " I say in a teasing manner but I hear him mutter a fuck thinking I wouldn't hear it . " when do you get back to Oregon " he asks and I giggle " why ?" I ask " Just answer the question sweetheart " he says and I gulp " Friday" I answer and I can hear him click his tongue through the phone " You live alone ?" he asks and I gulp again " y-yes why" I ask again now feeling very nervous now. " How would you feel if I said im about to redirect my flight home to land in Oregon and stay for a couple days?" he asks and I can practically hear the smirk on his lips through the phone . " I-I yes I mean y-yeah id be okay with t-that" I answer back stuttering like an idiot as my stomach does summer salts. " Good now thats settled , ill be landing on Sunday that sound okay to you sweetey" he asks and I nod my head before realizing he cant see me . " Y-yes sir fuck I mean yes matt s-sorry force of habit " I rush out and I can hear him chuckle "Oh trust me I don't mind you calling me sir , sounds so good coming out of your pretty little mouth" he says and I moan unintentionally . "Well judging by the subtle slur to your words im guessing you haven't gone to sleep yet so ill let you go but well talk soon okay" he says " Mmm yes sir , goodnight " I say as I roll onto my side and get comfortable " Good night gorgeous sleep well " he says before ending the call .

Oh the girls are gonna freak about this when we all wake up .

....

[randomfoggytiger]

My thoughts on the Chris Carter discourse.

I think I sit on the fence regarding the gendered violence issue in The X-Files. Yet, I also recognize CC's shortcomings-- pouring his energy into being a provocateur rather than a coherent show writer.

**Note**: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is mine.

The show's violence against women isn't skewered in a sexist, one-way direction to me: gendered violence is perpetrated against both sexes equally; and the male cast and crew even joked about Mulder constantly getting beat up or tortured during CC's mytharc episodes. Not only that, but children and men as well as women are kidnapped or abducted and raped (or mind raped) and tortured and killed in equal measure.

The problem begins and ends, I believe, with Chris's ego. He views his show as a SHOW, not a beloved series cherished by fans. To him, Mulder and Scully and their children are literal paper dolls he created and played (plays) with like the Sims-- lighting them on fire, putting them through insane or ridiculous scenarios, and always resetting them back to normal at the end.

The "problem" is, the fans do not see Mulder and Scully as Sims models (pardon the references, got into the game lately) but as living, breathing characters with blood, sweat, and tears poured into their portrayals. Gillian took the role seriously and wanted it to make sense; and fans felt her passion and dedication, and honored the years she put in at her own inconvenience (over and over.)

David doesn't mind following CC's creative vision-- he views art differently than GA, and that's just fine, too. The difference is (I believe): Chris Carter honors David's viewpoint because it aligns with his own; but sloughs off, ignores, or discredits Gillian's because it opposes his.

Chris Carter has an ego (he does, it is what it is); and that rubs audiences the wrong way when they contrast his actions towards DD (letting him read scripts earlier than Gillian, likely knowing David'll give a "wow, interesting" rather than outright critical remark) and GA (who sacrificed a lot to come back and was pretty much ignored every step of the way, even now.) David shrugs off what Chris writes for his character-- which is fine, that's his prerogative-- while Gillian does not-- which is also fine, that's her prerogative. Chris, however, does not treat them equally.

I say this not to hate on Chris. I dislike him, but I respect the characters, show, and world of The X-Files. All things being fair, it was his brainchild.

However: every person that will ever exist has their own perspective, feelings, and emotions regarding what they do or don't love. Fans and Gillian wanted The X-Files to make sense, to honor its characters, to craft an unforgettable journey between two unforgettable characters. Chris Carter did not-- which, again, is fine. But where he continues to fail is by throwing jabs at perspectives other than his own.

Because when you create a timeline that makes no logical sense (powered by plot twists that also make no logical sense) and expect your lead actress and fans who have spent time and energy and money on your franchise not to give you criticism or express their disappointment (and even anger)-- and, further, imply they "don't get it" or aren't "real fans" because of said criticisms-- then...

That's where you (Chris Carter) have a problem.

[rubykgrant]

I finally figured out the new version for the design of my musical super hero! She's part of the group of hero and villain kids I've been playing around with for about 16 years (dang). I started the story with my best friend, and the characters have all gone through a LOT of changes, but because I've had them so long, I sort of know how to keep the core of who I wanted them to be~

(also, thanks to some of my friends for giving me some suggestions on her look in the past! @v-voeux and @bonkalore I appreciate it~)

As a regular kid, Min is 14 years old, a new student at school. She's a social butterfly, who is also very smart and creative (her main talents are music and fashion, but she also takes gymnastics and ballet). She's studied a lot of classical instruments, but she also has a passion for modern styles of music, so her personal taste is very broad. Min participates in a lot of talent shows. chorus groups, and plays. She makes her own fashion designs, for herself and people she knows well. Her signature outfit has a little bit of an 80s-vibe; loos short-sleeve shirt tied at the side (with a rainbow of sunset colors), over a seafoam colored jumper dress, dusty-blue leggings, and pink shoes (her favorite colors are pink and different shades of blue/turquoise). Her hair is black (with a rosie-brown shine), cut in a bouncy-bob, with two little pink hairclips. She has a pink bracelet on one wrist, and a pale-pink scrunchie on the other. Min is chubby, but also very athletic.

Her fun personality makes it easy for people to be drawn to her, but she's very aware of how fickle and fleeting popularity is when people become demanding... and then get upset when you aren't what they want you to be. Although she's sweet with a pretty face, Min is perfectly comfortable confronting people who try to boss her around, and isn't afraid of rejection (this also goes for teachers; she's a straight-A student, but pushes back when adults try to put pressure on her to succeed). At first glance, she's a bubbly and cute, and while that isn't UNtrue, Min is also subtly tenacious, capable of deep thoughts and emotional insight, and very self-assured. She truly values real friendship, and loves making the people she cares about happy with fun activities. She's also very good at being motivational and encouraging.

Her mother is Chinese, and her father is Japanese, both working with animals (for years, they've been doing wildlife studies and rehabilitation, meaning they've moved around often, visiting different places. recently, they've started working with a zoo and an emergency animal care facility). Her aunt (father's sister) is recently divorced and living with them, with her two sons (Min herself is an only child, but gets along well with her cousins). She can be flirty at times, but isn't interested in anything serious yet. She casually dates, but because she's always nice, nobody feels too upset when she kindly lets people down/ends a relationship (when she gets a little older, she figures out she's polyam, ace, and attracted to any gender identity; she uses the pan flag because she likes the color combo~).

When she begins to develop super powers, Min discovers she can literally create "musical energy"; turning sounds into something with a shape. She can do anything from snapping her fingers to send out a chock-wave, or creating vibrations in the air that take the form of a musical instrument (interacting with it, and using it for attacks or defense). Things around her that involve music/sound can also be influenced by her (such as radios, or loud bells in towers). She can manipulate sound to isolate a specific noise, use echolocation, imitate another person's voice voice, and translate any language she hears. Because music can have an emotional response, she also has powers that follow "musical rules"... that is, breaking into song, and having her friends join in, literally has an effect on reality (she often provides mood music when the hero group needs some motivation while fighting various bad guys).

She has an affinity for butterflies, so she creates little wings made of the pink musical energy, letting her fly like a fairy (they aren't connected to her, instead floating behind her back, and disappear when she isn't flying). Min designs her own outfit, as well as the ones the other hero kids wear. Hers is similar to a marching band uniform, a dark pink vest and shorts that are cuffed. Part of the vest is a pale-gray, with lines styled to look like a violin. Her leggings are also pale-gray, with two different patterns (one leg has vertical stripes that look like piano keys, the other leg has thin horizontal stripes that look like sheet music). She has dark pink boots with little butterfly designs on the toes/heels. Her shoulders have short butterfly sleeves, and the vest also has a pattern of musical notes with butterfly wings at the edge, Min's super her symbol. She has the same shape made out of the musical energy as a headphone/mic. Her mask is shaped like a butterfly as well. Min's hair is more curled, and pulled up in a side-ways ponytail, with one final butterfly clip.

In the past, I've had Min's hero design look like a simple "super hero swimsuit" with pink butterfly sleeves, and I've also had versions with a skirt so she has more of a classic magical girl look... but I wanted to really try for something more unique, make the music theme very clear, include her butterfly designs, and also make it a little more sporty~

[intuitively-her]

How do men view you?

Pile 1-(The Fool, Queen of cups rx, King of swords, King of pentacles, Knight of pentacles, Page of pentacles rx) Angel Answer: Romance

I keep hearing the terms "sexy" and "sultry". Men feel like you're always down to have a good time. You're a very fun person to be around. They feel like you don't have time for a relationship or you reject many suitors lol. Some of your suitors could feel like you're naive or they could play you. I feel like this is a false perception though. You’re smarter than what people give you credit for. I heard “I peep everything”. You could dress more masculine or you're just more in that energy. You look like you're made of money. You're always working on stability in your life and you're persistent with your goals. You're very mature and responsible as well. Also, I feel like someone here has been contemplating if they should start dating again. You should put yourself back out there! This is a very abundant time for you.

Pile 2-(The Hermit, Justice rx, 5 of swords rx, Page of cups, 8 of swords, 5 of wands rx) Angel Answer: Trust

You're closed off and don't talk to many people. You seem to enjoy being alone. You've been through many situations where you've been treated unfair and unjust. You could have some emotional baggage from an interpersonal relationship or you could feel stuck in your current environment. However, I feel like you've been trying to start over and make peace with these situations. I keep hearing "rewriting my story". You're very imaginative and creative. You have so many creative endeavors you should share with the world!

pile 3-(The Chariot, 10 of wands, 8 of swords, 8 of wands, Judgement rx, 2 of wands) Angel Answer: No, The situation will improve

You've overcome many obstacles in your life. You could overwork yourself a lot. You have many responsibilities or obligations. You could feel trapped in your job situation. Either you go out a lot or you're always traveling. You're a risk-taker. Many men feel like you're ahead of them in life. You definitely intimidate them lol.

Pile 4-(King of pentacles, Death, King of swords, 8 of cups rx, The Lovers, King of wands) Angel Answer: A year from now

You're a very successful and abundant individual. You've gone through many transformations in your life. Maybe you've moved around a lot? You're very authoritative as well. I heard that Nicki lyric "When I walk in sit up straight, I don't give a f*ck if I was late." Someone here could be a teacher. Many look up to you. A lot of men feel like you're their soulmate or like ya'll we're destined to meet. A lot of men get stuck on you. They feel like they can never meet your standards.

[triptychgardener]

A Little Update On The State Of The Early June Project

Hey y'all. Been a while since there's really been any word on EJ, and about 6 months since the last update, and I figured I owed you all a little explanation for what's been going on with that, and, more broadly, us as a creative team.

To put it simply, Early June's production has been... really slow to nonexistent, for reasons that are more personal than anything else.

Starting out Early June, I was in college, had a lot of free time, and was riding a creative hyperfixation that I had basically never experienced before. I managed to write out at least the structure and outline for what would become the rest of the major EJ project in the first few months, and basically up till the start of the Intermission, that was that. Intermission was supposed to be a one-chapter interlude that quickly turned into a 10+ chapter sidefic, during a time when I was intending to recover from burnout. I at least managed to build up a pretty decent backlog during that time. But I could already feel the burnout starting to set in.

And around the time I got started on Act 2, I had added another person to the team, which meant I basically had to take a much closer look at my writing from more points of view. Previously, my strategy was pretty much always to write it up late at night, format it as soon as it was done, and publish it right then, little to no editing (which you can probably tell.) Changing that to a more rigorous approach I believe absolutely improved the work, but also slowed things down due to some... unhelpful writing habits I've developed over the years.

But all that kind of pales compared to the fact that my production slowed down a lot once I graduated and started working. Needless to say, I have a lot less free time, very little mental energy, and even less emotional energy to work on this project anywhere near consistently.

So I'm announcing what was probably already visible, but as of now Early June is on a loose hiatus. I cannot promise when it will be back, or even if it will. I would very much like for it to be. I have a lot of plans for this fic, through Early June and subsequent projects. But I don't want to make any promises I cannot keep.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for sticking with us.

[thatonebipotato]

SURPRISE I actually forced myself to sit down and talk about my au for once! YIPPEE!!!! So here it is: my Dreamfeaster AU :D!!

[CONTENT WARNINGS: nightmares, sleepwalking, emotional manipulation, physical manipulation, physical violence, mental decline]

Bill is more of a parasite here. After his home dimension was destroyed, he got trapped between the space of the second and third dimensions, only being able to interact with dreamscapes. Dreams have a certain amount of power/magic, which he consumes to sustain himself, since he technically doesn't exist anywhere. Dreams from creative/smart types have more power behind them. Switching hosts takes a lot of energy and is entirely random; he is simply pulled to the dreams like a magnet. He usually ends up in creative minds bc they have a stronger pull.

He has the power to manipulate the fabric of a dream to be whatever he wants, and when he eats a dream, the dreamer won't be able to remember it. Dreams keep him alive, but nightmares fuel him. When he needs a little pick-me-up, he'll induce a nightmare to eat. The removal of a dream will wear the host down over time, and it is even worse with a nightmare, as the host will wake up terrified but not recall why. Eventually, the hosts mind will be broken, and their dreams will start coming up blank. When that happens, he'll need to swap hosts.

Another side effect of his presence is sleepwalking. Eventually, the host will start experiencing sleepwalking, which can often put them into danger. Especially when the nightmares start.

One day, Bill attaches to the mind of one Stanford Pines. Ford is a lucid dreamer and takes the time to try interacting with Bill. Bill, who's run into lucid dreamers before and never had any try reaching out to him before, chalks it up to a fluke and ignores him before eating the dream. The next time they meet, Ford goes through the exact same motions, and Bill realizes he's different.

They get to talking, Ford telling Bill about his life and offering companionship, and Bill offering the knowledge he's acquired from past hosts over the years. Bill takes on a form that he thinks will please Ford more(it does), and Ford starts taking notes on the dream demon. Eventually, they come to the topic of how Bill got to where he is, and Bill explains his situation. Bill makes an off-hand comment about a device that could weaken a point in the dimensions so that he can slip through and start actually existing, and Ford's like "bet".

So Ford calls up an old college friend to help him with making this device: a portal that could potentially tear through the fabric of reality, creating a soft spot that the demon could tear through.

The portal is making good progress, and life is going great. They decided to run a test to see if the portal would work. It does, but it's very unstable, so they need to work out the finer details so that Bill can safely cross through. Ford tells Bill this when he enters the dreamscape, and Bill is ecstatic. Everything is great, and nothing is wrong in any way!

Until Ford starts sleepwalking.

Ford being not only aware of Bill's presence but also actively his friend(and maybe more...) has slowed down his mental decline by a lot, but some things can never be delayed.

Ford brings this up with Bill, who seems a little shocked but not surprised. He's like, "Oh yeah, that uh... that happens. You were different, so I kinda thought that maybe it wouldn't happen." So Ford's like, "Oh! Um. Can you like. Stop??" and Bill's like, "Quite literally no. Sorry." And Ford's like, "Hm, alright, I'll uh......... I'll figure it out."

So Ford deals with it but it's getting a little bit in the way of his actual life(things being broken or misplaced, his notes/information going missing, his food spoiling bc he accidentally knocked the fridge open, etc etc.), so he asks Fiddleford to help keep Ford safe and such(basically they baby proof the house).

After a while, Ford starts looking for other ways to get rid of Bill. He finds a few, but they all involve killing or severely injuring the guy, so Ford's like, "Mm no, I'll hold off on these. I don't wanna do that. We're friends :(." The sleepwalking gets worse, but it's still manageable, and Ford is still looking for ways to remove him, but literally can't find anything that gives him the result he wants/would even work.

It's going alright, with the portal coming along well and Ford's sleepwalking still manageable, but it is still getting worse, and he's also kinda starting to see things and have memory issues. It comes to a point when Bill catches glimpses of Ford looking for other ways to get rid of him and misunderstands horribly, thinking that he's trying to kill him. They get into a big fight about it, and it escalates until Bill starts weaving the dream into a nightmare, and Ford wakes up.

Ford is then left waking up from nightmares with no recollection of them for the next 2 weeks, which is starting to make him spiral mentally. Ford's parasomnia develops into the RSBD(REM sleep behavior disorder) kind. Essentially, he starts responding to his dreams in real life. This results in many injuries like bruises, cuts, and small fractures that he has absolutely no clue how they got there, but they're getting worse and worse.

Eventually, Fiddleford has to move in with Ford to help him stay safe. Fiddleford is very concerned about him, but Ford keeps putting his concerns aside because he understands why this is happening. "It's a misunderstanding, Fidds. Once he realizes that we're still helping him, he'll calm down, don't worry." So every night, Ford gets strapped down into bed, in a room with several locks on the one door and no windows.

The nightmares don't stop, but Ford isn't getting hurt anymore, so they carry on as regular. Ford still isn't remembering any of his dreams, but he's so sure that if he can just get to Bill, then everything would be ok.

In the dreamscape, Ford tries convinving Bill to just listen and calm down. Bill is being difficult though, and just like before it just continually escalates, until Bill's taunting Ford about how shitty his life is. He then starts showing him terrible things, like his parents being disappointed in him, his brother dying, Fiddleford leaving him, etc etc. Ford, out of anger, pins Bill under him and starts hitting him, basically just like "I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU WHY ARE YOU BEING SO SHITTY RIGHT NOW DUDE, JUST LISTEN TO ME."

Bill's laughing the whole time, and Ford stops briefly to ask him why. Bill basically just mocks him, telling him that he'll never amount of anything, and that they've been through this scenario so many times, and how Ford always gets mad at him for being the irrational one but their interactions somehow always end up the exact same way, and how he'll make sure this one counts. Ford's about to ask him what he means by that, but then he wakes up and realizes that he actually just beat the shit out of Fiddleford.

He gets off of him and goes into a panic bc he literally just beat up his friend, so he goes to get a first aid kit, but when he comes back Fiddleford is already halfway out the door. Fiddleford tells him that him coming here was a mistake, that he's lost so much, and he thought maybe if they could make this work it'd be worth it, but it's gotten to be too much and he just can't do this anymore.

Ford is left alone in that house, finally being able to remember the dream from only a few minutes ago, realizing how bad things have been fucked.

He decides to go through with just killing Bill, but his progress in getting the needed materials gets thwarted every time he falls asleep. He decides to just try staying awake, but his intense sleep deprivation means he keeps getting things wrong, so nothing works, and the cycle continues repeating.

Despite knowing that Bill quite literally can not harm him himself, Ford begins an intense downward spiral of thinking that he can. Seeing how he can be physically manipulated when he's asleep, but the intense amounts of anxiety, paranoia, and depression he's getting from the nightmares, the sleep deprivation, and the effects that dream removals play on his psyche, Ford decides to hide the journals to keep them safe from Bill, and then he'll destroy the portal.

The portal incident with Stanley plays as normal, though Ford is just a little bit more wired during it. Yada yada, fight between brothers, yada yada, Ford ends up through the portal.

Going through the portal separates Bill from Ford's head, as it was supposed to, and sends him to the Nightmare Realm.

From here the story is still being worked out, so I'll make a separate post later on about what happens in the 30 years Ford's gone and then Weirdmageddon :)