#the debate in my head to keep him looking like a totally normal totally not part dragon part oni not the fsms grandson guy

[azsunaa]

lloyd is fun to draw since u can just drop him into a blender and something fun will come out

[axelsagewrites]

Jace Velaryon*Frat Baby

Pairing: Jace x pregnant!f!reader

Word count: 1688

Warnings: rivalry, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

Masterlist Here

Part One Here

Jace had went from being your sworn childhood enemy to fuck buddy to now the most awkward conversation of your life. You had been avoiding completely for the past month as you debated what to do so when Jace got the ‘we need to talk’ text he made sure he was free the next day for lunch. You were sat in a café across from campus, anxiously sipping on the caffeine-free tea Sansa had insisted you switch to instead of your regular coffee.

You wondered if the hole in your stomach was morning sickness or nerves but you just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best as you waited. Jace walked in, dressed like a burst bag of clothes, and anxiously scanned the room before rushing to your table. “You’re late,”

“Class ran over. have you ordered?” he said making you roll your eyes at his lack of apology as he ordered from the very perky waitress you were for some unknown reason suddenly jealous of. after he ordered, even ordering you your favourite sandwich which you were shocked he knew, he turned his attention back to you, “So what’s ‘Defcon one’?” he asked, quoting your text.

You took a deep breath as you debated how to say it before suddenly the words tumbled out, “I’m late,”

“I thought you didn’t have class today?” Jace asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy making you face palm. A few beats of silence passed before Jace said a quiet oh, followed by a louder oh, followed by a “oh fuck,” followed by one more quiet oh.

“You good?”

“I mean sure. Are you?” he asked, sitting up suddenly and leaning over the table and dropping his voice, “Does it like hurt?”

You stared at this frat boy for a solid three seconds before rolling your eyes, “I’m pregnant not dying!”

“I thought it hurt, okay?”

“It hurts later on,”

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“Highschool biology!”

“I ditched that week!”

“Yeah, to fuck Sara Snow!” the waitress who brought your food offer gave an awkward smile making you both sigh and drop your voice. “Look I get this isn’t what we planned for but,” you paused for a second before finally saying the words out loud, “I wanna keep it, him, her, them I don’t know. but either way I totally do not expect you do be involved and I wont even tell your mom but I- “

“Eh!” Jace cut you off, his eyes widening as his shoulders tensed, “No! you don’t get to just toss me aside during this,”

“I’m not tossing you aside- “

“Yes, you are! It’s my kid!”

“It’s a clump of cells,”

“My god damn cells. Half of them belong to me,”

“What you want me to stick em on a petri dish?” you spat out, “Look I’m just trying to give you an out,”

“Who said I wanted an out?”

“You wanna raise this baby?”

“Yes, I wanna raise *my* baby,”

“It’s my baby,”

“Our baby!” Jace said before sighing, “Look I’m not going anywhere and don’t for a second think I’m gonna leave my kid behind thinking I’m a dead beat. No this is what’s gonna happen- “

“You are in no position to tell me what to do- “

“Shut up!” Jace snapped, “Honest to god shut up and listen to me okay cause I am freaked the fuck out right now but I am not gonna abandon you,” he said and you weren’t sure if it was the foetus getting to your brain but it was the sweetest way he’d ever told you to shut up which would normally be met with a rude slap, “We are gonna do this together. I’m gonna get a part time job at my family’s firm. We’re gonna save like hell and then by the time our last year rolls around the baby will be like what? 3 months?”

“Two,” you said as you let Jace recover from his spiral.

“Right two. We’re gonna get a flat off campus and we’ll just have to pick our classes at the same time to make sure we can do it, okay?” he said but the way his eyes were strained made you wonder if he was genuinely asking for reassurance.

“We got this,” you said, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand, “We’ll figure it out,”

Jace let out a heavy sigh of relief as he sunk into his chair and picked up his sandwich, “Okay good. Now eat up. And we’re getting dessert too. You’re eating for two,”

-

Shockingly Jace had been sweet this whole time. each day he dropped off snacks or random baby things he’d found at your dorm. This ranged from dummies to blankets to a fucking crib catalogue. When summer break came you were pregnant, terrified, and explaining to both your parents and Jace’s about the whole situation.

They were unpredictably happy. That was till you told them you weren’t a couple and your mums both deflated a little but eventually they got back with the programme. You expected Jace to lap up his final child free summer out partying but instead he took day trips with you to the beach, went out baby shopping with you, and would just sit in with you watching movies and eating ice cream. You wondered if he was trying to make you gain 100 sizes by the end of this pregnancy with the amount of junk food, he got you. he’d even drive over at 2am with whatever weird pregnancy craving you had.

The giving birth part was the terrifying bit. But Jace held your hand through every push. “Just one more,” the midwife told you as you began to break Jace’s hand with your grip but finally you heard the cries and let your head fall back into the pillow as you panted, “It’s a girl!”

“We have a daughter,” Jace grinned, a wide dopey smile on his face. His head turned to face you and soon you broke out in your own smile as they cleaned your baby up. You saw his head begin to dip but this kiss was far different from any other.

It was sweet and tender and life altering even if it lasted a second before the woman brought your daughter over and placed her on your chest, “Hi baby,” you cooed at her.

Jace leant over to get a better view, “She’s so pretty,” he whispered, “just like you,” he added as he kissed the top of your head, not even poking fun at the sweaty state of it.

-

Jace moved into the guest room at your house for the first week of your daughter's life but soon he ended up in your room. He said it was for convenience but that didn’t explain why he held you in his arms. As you began to unpack your things in your new flat as your baby slept you turned to Jace, “What are we?” you asked as he unpacked the plates.

He rolled his eyes at you as he put them in the cupboard, “My girlfriend you idiot,”

“You never asked,” you shot back, hand on hip.

He turned to you with his cockiest face possible, “Sorry I thought between the sex, cuddling, and baby we just had you would’ve caught on,”

“Uhuh,” you rolled your eyes as he turned away from you to continue unpacking but you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his back, “Ask me,”

You could hear him chuckle before he turned around, taking your face in his hands, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You grinned before putting on your best thinking face, “I suppose I could be,”

“You suppose,” he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he lent in to kiss you only to be rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. “I’m gonna kill him,” Jace groaned as he ran to the door to stop the noise, so the baby didn’t wake.

“What up bro?” Cregan whisper shouted as he hurled into your flat, “Where’s the baby?”

“She’s in the nursery sleeping,” Jace said, slapping him in the stomach as he mentioned the sleep.

Cregan rolled his eyes as he passed Jace and walked up to you with an overflowing gift bag, “Consider this a baby-welcome home-nice to meet you properly gift,” he said as he handed you the bag.

You laughed as you began to empty the contents onto the bunker to find university baby sized hoodies, t shirts, hats, and even a scarf. Of course, digging further in you found a soccer jersey, baby sized of course, rattles, and then your hand settled on a box. “Condoms?” you asked, holding the box in the air.

“Hey!” Cregan defended, hands in the air, “She’s cute and all but I’m not ready to be a double uncle. They’ll overtake me when I babysit,”

You and Jace turned to each other before looking back at him, eyes narrowing with concern, “Who said you were babysitting?” Jace asked.

Cregan just rolled his eyes as he began to wander and look for the nursery, “Bitch please she needs me. I’m the fun uncle,”

“You’re not her uncle?” you said as he reached the pink painted nursery door.

Cregan span round, hand on heart and hurt in his eyes, “Not cool man. She’s not just your guy’s baby. She’s basically the frat baby,”

You debated arguing more but watching Cregan, a built like a truck manly man, fawn over a baby no bigger than a doll was too cute to interfere with. You weren’t sure how you survived university with a baby and a Jace btu somehow with a lot of help from Cregan and Sansa who had become expert babysitters by now you managed. Some day you would have to explain to your daughter her parents were sworn enemies but not today. No today your daughter was three years old and teaching Jace to do Taylor Swift choreography with her so they could surprise you.

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @jacesvelaryons

@aleemendoza2425-blog  @happinessinthebeing @bellstwd

[princessbrunette]

would bountyhunter!rafe ever comfort you when you’re crying about missing home?

i feel like he’d be weirded out the first couple times but eventually it’d be normal for you to fall asleep in his arms

｡•┈🎀┈• ｡ﾟ

yeah, he acts all reluctant about it but he’s not totally emotionless or anything. there is a weight of guilt on his chest when he sees you all curled up by the window at the shitty little motel the two of you were holed up in. he’d been out to get a bottle of whisky — treating himself after all the strife he’d been putting himself through with this whole bounty hunting thing.

as soon as he arrives back into the room you jump up, like you’re scared of being caught crying. quickly, you paw at your eyes — sniffing up as much snot as you can as you face him nervously, swaying on your feet with wide eyes like you were expecting him to be furious with you. he slows his pace, eyeing you over.

“you were crying?” he asks as if it’s not obvious and you look away, swiping beneath your eye once more.

“jus’ had something in my eye.” you croak, heart pounding with the realisation that lying might just get you in more trouble. “dont be mad.” you utter quietly like a prayer.

“i’m not—” he realises he projected his voice just a tad too loud because you tense up, and he sighs— pushing his floppy hair out of his face. “i’m not mad. i just want to know why. was — was it me? did i say some dumb shit?” he approaches you carefully, holding his hands up when you cower slightly to show he comes in peace.

“no.” you shake your head quickly. the last thing you wanted to do was accuse him of anything, grateful of the fact he’d somewhat treated you fairly despite being the one to steal you from your land. “i… i feel homesick. i miss my father… and i miss the barn, and my sheep, and all my chickens. i miss my horse and the cows. i’m so far from home.” you stare out the window, fat droplets wobbling on the precipice of your eye.

rafe sighs, scratching at his cheek awkwardly — unsure of what he’s supposed to say. after all you were homesick because of him. he wasn’t supposed to like you, nor were you particularly supposed to like him — but there had been moments of comfort you’d found in eachother, oddly enough — and now he had really grown attached to you, debating marrying you to keep you for himself.

“yeah…” he drawls, nodding and staring at the back of you for a moment as he perches on the edge of the bed. “shit, look— c’mere.” he beckons, and you do so. you suppose you’re just being obedient to stay out of trouble, but it was undeniable that you craved his comfort. craved him.

he pulls you to sit on his leg, a hand supporting your back. “suppose i should apologise for all… this. i— i didn’t wanna have to take anyone okay it’s… its just my dad is a very powerful man. my whole life i’ve been second best to my sister and… i wanted to show him that i could do what he does. now i’ve done the job and — and it has these real life consequences and i don’t enjoy that trust me, but… what’s done is done. i’ve got you now. i… will get you a new barn. a better one. with more sheep and cows and shit. alright?”

maybe you were too empathetic, because in that moment for the first time you felt kind of sorry for rafe. he wasn’t as big and scary as he usually was. he actually seemed kind of lonely, and insecure. it wouldn’t undo the hurt he’s caused, the fact that it was very unlikely you’d see your father again — but it brought you some comfort to know you were hurting together. you sniffle, nodding in understanding and he sighs again, pulling you into him. “c’mon. stop that.” he jogs his leg a little, comforting you like you were a baby, the only way he knew how.

｡•┈🎀┈• ｡ﾟ

[thewhoreforhordes]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦��𝐫𝐲: 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧’𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 (𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲), 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐣𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟, 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜-𝐢𝐬𝐡? 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬?, 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐬

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

It was a normal day at Whitechapel High— well, about as normal as the school could be, considering it was crawling with supernatural entities such as vampires.

And also like any other day, Ethan found himself severely regretting his choice of friends, as his buddies Rory and Benny bickered back and forth over some other stupid and nerdy thing that was sure to keep them from getting girlfriends.

"Are you kidding me? Spiderman would literally own that lightning bug!" The brunette exclaimed with frustration.

"Thor is a norse god! He would crush Spider-Boy!" The fanged blonde retorted in anger.

The shorter brunette debated slamming his head into a locker, in hopes he wouldn't have to listen to their stupidity anymore.

He continued down the hall, keeping his head down and pretending he didn't know who the two geeks were behind him. As he rounded the corner into another, rather empty hallway, he spotted a peculiar necklace strung upon the doorknob of the drama room.

Believing it was likely a lost prop from the upcoming musical, he walked over to it to inspect. The silver chain was clearly old and worn, and on it hung a charm that read 'Y/N'.

"That's odd." He furrowed his eyebrows in suspicion, not knowing of anyone by that name, play or otherwise. He reached to retrieve the jewelry from the handle, but as he grasped it, a 'woosh' was heard close-by. Looking around for what could've caused it, he was met by a girl?

"Who are you?" The seer asked cautiously.

"Woah. You can see me?" The mysterious girl replied with an overjoyed smile.

"I— Uh— Yeah?"

"Oh my god!" You jumped, having finally been released from your necklace. "I was in there for like, years!"

"You were in this?" Ethan questions as he holds up the chain. "Are you Y/N?"

"Yeah! You found my necklace!" You run over to him to pull the boy into an embrace only to phase through him. "Oh yeah. The whole.. ghoul thing." You pout, brushing yourself off. "Who are you anyway?"

The seer boy shivers when you pass through him. It was a surprisingly wonderful sensation. "I'm Ethan." He replies, shoving the necklace into his pocket.

"Well, Ethan, mind showing me around school? It's been like, decades since I've attended here." You giggle and twirl your hair, which practically fries Ethan's brain.

"Yeah! I can totally do that!" He squeaks before clearing his throat and muttering, "Just follow me."

As he walked you around the school, and you pointed out stuff that wasn't there a decade ago, he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter and ache. God, you were so beautiful, the way your hair shined in the beam of the sun, and your lips were still slathered in gloss from the day you died.

You glanced over at him, wondering if your new friend was paying attention, only for a moment to be met by him admiring you, before he looked elsewhere in embarrassment.

What was he doing? You weren't even alive, but you sure got his blood pumping. He bit his lip nervously as you and him continued roaming the halls.

Soon, after sitting in on Ethan's classes and watching him do his work from an empty seat, it was time for lunch. Of course, you couldn't eat anymore but that wasn't going to stop you from sitting with your new friend.

You stood beside him in the lunch-line talking his ear off about how great it felt to be out. He, not wanting to look like a loon for talking to himself, just smiled and nodded along before going to go pick a table. Right next to his two best friends.

"They can't see me, can they?" You waved your hand in front of the spellmaster's face hesitantly.

"Nope, they can't. Just me." He gives you a smile before taking a seat between the two boys.

"Dude, who are you talking to? There's no one over here but us." Benny snorts, obviously amused by his friend's behavior.

"I'm right here. He doesn't have to be such a jerk." You frown, rolling your eyes and slumping down on the floor next to Ethan's chair.

"Is this another ghost situation? If so, are you going to have to try out for wrestling again? Because, last time it was hilarious!" Rory snickers to himself and glancing around for whatever spirit is bugging Ethan this time.

"She's not a vengeful coach, don't get too excited." Ethan pauses, taking a moment to glance down at you. "Right?"

"I didn't even graduate high school. What do you think?" You raise your eyebrow at him, leaving him to connect the puzzle pieces by himself.

"No, she's not." Ethan flushes with embarrassment and clears his throat, picking at his food with his fork.

"She? Is she some like.. ghost babe?" Benny grins, fixing his hair as Rory nods excitedly, causing you to look up at Ethan expectantly.

He glances down at you and sighs, "Her name is Y/N, and she is— er— was our age. She's sitting right here." Ethan gestures beside him to where you're sitting accidentally bonking you on the head.

"Ow! What the!?—"

"Sorry!" He proclaims, placing a hand on your head and rubbing it soothingly.

You turn to glare up at him, before settling back into your spot and crossing your arms. You sit there for a minute or so before it hits you. You bring your hands up to the top of your head and squeeze.

You can feel his hand. "You can touch me too?" You turn to him, still holding his hand in both of yours.

Flushed at the unexpected contact, he quickly nods. "I.. guess so?"

"Oh my god, Ethan! You don't know how amazing this is! I haven't felt another person in forever!" You pull him into a tight hug, curious as to why you had went through him before.

Ethan's arms hang unsurely in the air, his eyes fixed on the beautiful girl wrapped around him. "Seems amazing."

You squeeze him tightly, feeling comfort in holding a person in your arms again, you could just cry. Eventually, you feel two scrawny arms slowly wrap around you, causing you to smile against the boy's chest.

"Dude, are you like cuddling with a ghost?" Benny chuckles with amusement before taking a second to think that over. "How would that even work? Don't you just like phase through her? You know, since she's like not really there?"

"I don't know how it works, man! And she can hear you, you know!" Ethan calls out, scowling at the boy beside him.

"Having a ghost girlfriend would be cool." The blonde who was obviously not paying attention adds as you cuddle into the seer boy.

"Dude, you wouldn't even be able to see her." Benny states, as if it's the most obvious thing ever spoken.

"Well, I mean if I could! Think about it! It'd be all secret and whatever! So hot.." The boy trails off, continuing to bicker with Benny about the perks having a spirit partner.

After a while, you pull away from Ethan and smile brightly at him, running your fingers through his shaggy hair. "You know, if I can hug you, I wonder what else I can do." You murmur under your breath, before leaning down slowly and placing a kiss on his lips.

Ethan freezes once more, squeezing you a little in nervousness. He certainly hadn't kissed anyone before, let alone a ghost. You were sure this looked strange to outsiders, but you didn't care. Feeling someone's lips on yours was wonderful and enchanting, especially when that someone was the Morgan boy.

Pulling away once more, you admire his flushed face and feel the tightness of his jeans. "Pardon me if I seem desperate but I haven't felt anyone in years." You chuckle breathlessly, looking down at the clearly excitable boy beneath you.

"No! No, it's totally fine. Don't worry about it." He laughs nervously, awkwardly shifting in place. Could ghosts feel arousal? He didn't know, but god, the way you looked down at him, your lips plump and bruised from kissing, your chest heaving.

Your chest.

He choked on his breath as his eyes trailed downwards. Oh fuck.

You watched as he practically undressed you with his eyes, his friends still oblivious. Suddenly, Ethan cleared his throat. "Can you please get off of me?" He whispered just enough so you could hear it, yet so quiet as not to alert his friends.

It was clear the kiss had got to him, more than he'd like to admit. The moment you climb from his lap, he races to the bathroom in a hurry. Trailing behind him with a float in your step, you pass straight through the washroom door curiously.

Unbeknownst to you, the boy had mustered up quite the rush of blood when you kissed him. As he palmed himself within the bathroom stall, he let out a soft groan which you heard from outside.

"I knew I was good at kissing but I didn't know I was that good." You giggled teasingly.

Shit.

Ethan involuntarily gently rutted against his hand to the sound of your voice. What were you doing to him? "Uh—" His voice became caught in his throat as he rubbed himself through his jeans. "Yeah.." He bit his lip, continuing to buck up into his hand.

You walk over to the stall door, placing your hand upon it, careful not to let it phase through and whisper. "You know, too bad I'm a ghost. The things I would do to you, E."

"What—" His voice was cut off once more by a soft whimper as he continued to caress himself. "What things, Y/N?"

"I think you know what things. At least you're imagining them."

Ethan swallowed hard, as he rested his head on the stall door, his hand still pumping away. You were right. He was. The way you'd bounce on him, covering his shaft with your slick, the way he'd squeeze your full chest as he got closer, the way you'd clench around him when you came.

Fuck.

Ethan groaned softly and tilted his head back, whimpering your name before—

Dammit.

The brunette glanced down at his now soiled jeans with a frown. You've got to be kidding me, he thought, standing up and desperately pulling his shirt down over the wet patch.

This was going to be a fun thing to have to explain.

Author's Note: so!! this was heavily inspired by a anon ask i read on @agaypanic 's page so please please please check them out!! this is not my idea but i just had to write it!! and i don't really know how i feel about writing full blown smut i'm kinda iffy about it but we'll see!! and i have a shit ton of stuff in my drafts so i just wanted to get this one done and out of the way 😞 benny headcanons are in progress and so are rory ones! love y'all be good peeps! :3

[hiraeth-sonder]

Maladroit Admirer - Rongguo

Danheng x Reader - University AU

Becoming entranced with the most plain looking guy in your tutorial classes leads to a series of very bad, not good fumbles

//So so so so enamoured with the idea of just NPC looking Danheng, short little thingy that I had to get out. Poem is  寄人 by 张泌.

别梦依依到谢家， 小廊回合曲阑斜。

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

You don’t think there’s a difference between a crush and love at this point because being in university and adamantly staring at what might be the most boring looking man in this entire sea of people certainly can’t just be a momentary attraction. Short dark hair, dark eyes, decent fashion style and in a business unit, he wasn’t anything special, and yet you just couldn’t, for the life of you couldn’t, take your damned eyes off him. 

It was ridiculous, you’ve never even spoken to him, looked at him in the eyes even, but here your heart was, pounding against your ribs begging for more. Every time you walk into that horrifically cold room, freezing your shoulders off because if you brought a jacket you’d be sweating from the journey, you see him already there at some table you won’t sit at because you’re afraid of him. Because you’re a nervous wreck and you know that if you had to talk to him during discussion, all you’d do is hum and agree and have no opinion on your own. Which, you’d like to keep some part of your dignity still, so no thank you. 

There has been no man, woman even, that has rendered you so stupid. It must be some kind of witchcraft, there was no other explanation for the grip this man had on you. 

You try your best, your absolute best, to focus on the question ahead of you, not like it was actually hard. However, seeing as you were in a small table of three, had an ethics question and you were hyper-aware of every action you made because of that damned man, you certainly weren’t at your peak performance today. 

With your table’s assigned question out of the way, the two of them went on to discuss the rest, or rather you and the person next to you since you two were the only ones who attempted the exercise. The discussion didn’t go bad, merely boring and strained seeing as you’ve never actually talked to anyone in this class, so when the exact same person asked to see your graphs. You, of course, took that as a very bad chance to make a joke. 

“Just to warn you, I bullshitted my graphs, so if they’re wrong don’t blame me,” You joked, raising your hands in mock-guile.

Somehow, some-god-forsaken-how, despite being in a room speaking at a normal conversational level surrounded by other people talking, everyone heard you. And everyone is staring at you. Great, absolutely great. Ducking your head, you pretend to type something else on your computer. You can only pray that you never see anyone in this class ever again, or have to talk to them (which wasn’t going to happen but you could pretend).

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice his eyes glancing between you and the rest of his table, a kind of vacant stare if you will. Your ears grow hot at this revelation, he must think you’re a total idiot, or a buffoon, whichever one because you might as well be all the ways you could refer to someone as stupid. How you longed to return to the cold dark earth, maybe you wouldn’t say things that made you sound like some brainless highschooler. 

By the time the tutorial ends, you’ve already debated ending it all at least three times. With your computer and singular pencil packed up, you absentmindedly head towards the exit, weaving through strewn chairs and the awkwardly placed tables. It is then you notice a familiar someone’s form standing at the door. 

Your eyes slowly shift up and who else could it be but the very man who rendered your brain mush, holding the door open and gesturing for you to go. 

You barely meet his eyes, bowing your head and quickly scurrying off, at least not before blurting out a quick “Thank you.”

With the speed of a falcon, your footsteps scamper off, hefting your heavy tote bag you now wonder why you brought. Tucking your earphones in, you try your best at nonchalance and it works, for about six steps until the tip of your shoe catches against some crack in the path and you have to walk off the even more public embarrassment. 

In the distance, he watches you trip on your own feet and your shoe almost gets stuck on the carpeted pathway. An amused breath escapes him and he wonders what exactly about you is so endearing to him. Danheng swears he has never met someone as oddly appealing even with your little fumbles, and by now he’s given up trying to figure it out. 

He’ll find some way to approach you later, when his palms aren’t trying to sweat the skin off of them and his head isn’t going at a thousand thoughts per second. He only hopes you didn’t notice his continuous staring, or the fact that his hand slipped and missed the first time he tried to grab the door handle.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

多情只有春庭月，犹为离人照落花。

[strangersteddierthings]

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Pizza order successfully placed, Steve dials Robin's number next. He doesn't need to talk long, just... hear her voice. Maybe get some verbal support.

"Buckley residence."

"Thank God it's you," Steve sighs in relief to hear Robin's voice on the other end. There was a little bit of dread that her mom might have answered and then he'd be stuck on the phone while she tried to chat with him.

"Whoa. Was hosting the nerdfest that bad?" Robin asks, laughter in her voice.

"Uhh," Steve starts, because he's eloquent like that.

"Oh no. Was is that bad? What happened?"

He feels a flood of warmth for Robin's immediate concern. "No, no, nerdfest was fine. I, uhh, mostly I'm calling because Eddie and I are gonna, like, hang out and talk and I just- I dunno. Wanted to hear your voice, first."

"Oh. Really? Well. Here's my voice. This is you hearing it."

He laughs at that. "Thanks. It's just, I think it's gonna be, like, a bathroom floor kind of conversation, except in my living room on a couch."

"Oh! I can be there in ten if you need me."

"Nah. This is just- me needing to hear your voice, and also a warning that I might have to crawl through your window and fall apart on your bed later. Just don't know how this is going to go."

"I'm here if you need me. Are you going to talk about Freshman First Day?"

"We, uhh, already did. Mostly. There's been apologies and now we're gonna talk. Get to know each other. Play 20 questions, I guess."

Robin laughs at that. "Alright. Ask him if he's ever going to get me the sandwich he owes me from back in November."

"What?"

"You know, his whole cafeteria speech thing? Stepped right on my ham and cheese. It did make him slip and almost brain himself, and he did apologize. Told me he owed me a new sandwich. I never got it. Ask for me."

"We'll see. Okay, I'm going to go but, thank you. Love you."

"Love you, too. Window will be ajar."

Steve hangs up, then opens the fridge. He debates grabbing them beers but opts for soda. Back in the living room Steve finds Eddie sitting like a normal person on the couch, one leg bouncing relentlessly. Even with his superficial knowledge of Eddie, he can tell he's nervous. Not nervous Eddie would be perched on the back of his couch, ruining the cushions with whatever junk is on the bottom of his shoes. Probably.

"Soda?" Steve offers, plopping himself on the other end of the couch, hand outstretched for Eddie to take the beverage.

"Thanks." The bouncing of Eddie's leg pauses for a moment while he's opening and chugging half the can in one swift motion, then the bouncing starts again.

"Hey, man, relax. You didn't seem nearly as nervous when you were trying to sneakily hang out earlier."

Eddie lets out a big sigh. "Yeah, well, I didn't know you hated me then."

"I don't hate you."

"Oh, shit, no. Not what- I meant, like, past tense. Hated as in, used to hate. Not present tense."

"Ah. Well, I don't think I 'hated as in used to hate' past, like, three months into my freshman year. This is going to be the most self-absorbed shit ever, but, like, once I became popular, I couldn't be bothered to hate you. Didn't have the time to put towards that."

"Oh, of that I've no doubt. That was absolutely the read everyone who tried to interact with you got."

Steve ducks his head to hide his own embarrassment by fiddling with the can in his hands. "I thought you wanted to do, like, 20 questions or something."

"Oh. Serious? You'll do it?"

"Yeah."

"Right then. What even are the rules for 20 questions? Is it 20 questions each, or in total asked?"

"I dunno, man. I don't think people actually keep track. I think we just ask questions until we're done with talking. I guess the rules are don't lie, and if you don't want to answer a question, then don't. Pass on it, or whatever."

Eddie nods but he's still nervous, leg still bouncing. A look on his face so close to fear it makes Steve ache a little. He knows too well what far looks like on Eddie, experienced a week's worth of it.

Steve can start. Ease them into this. "Do you got a favorite color?"

Eddie shifts then. Turns sideways on the couch to lean against the armrest and face him. "Wait. One more rule. No mocking answers. You may laugh once at an answer."

"If you are about to tell me it's hot pink, I cannot follow that rule."

"It's not hot pink. Jesus. It's, uhh, brown, actually," Eddie says, rolling his can between his hands. "It used to be red but. I dunno. When I think of red, now, I think of the sky in the upside down and how that was almost the last thing I ever saw. I think of blood, and bleeding out."

And here he thought he was easing them into this with the most basic of questions. Eddie's already being vulnerable. "Follow up question, if you'll allow it. Why brown?"

"What's wrong with brown?"

"Nothing. Just thought you'd pick black or something," Steve gestures to all of Eddie.

At that, Eddie looks down at his mostly black outfit, the only part of it with any color is the DIO album art on his shirt, then back up. "Fair point. I guess brown just makes me think of home. The wooden porch, the paneling, brown dirt road that leads to the trailer. It's also, like, a good eye color. Exhibit A," He waves his hand in front of his face, batting his eyes exaggeratedly. It pulls a laugh from Steve.

"I can't argue that," Steve waves towards his face, where his own eyes have been described by many a girl as ranging from hazel to honey, but Steve just thinks of them as brown. "Your turn, man."

"You, tragically, had never heard of Ozzy before we met. What's your music of choice, and why is it the Top 40?"

"Like everybody didn't hear you singing along to I Wanna Dance With Somebody last week when it came on the radio at the Byers' Barbecue-"

"Whitney is a national treasure and I will not be slandered for knowing the words to any of her songs."

"Yeah, yeah. I guess it was just the Top 40, but really I don't have a preference. I just let other people pick the music. And, uhh, with the multiple concussions I don't listen to as much music as I used to. The migraines are brutal. It's never the music that brings on the migraine but like, it never helps, y'know?"

Eddie is nodding. "I do know. Like when you get sick and vomit, you avoid the last thing you ate, even when it turns out to be the flu and not food poisoning. Like, you know it wasn't the mango milkshake that made you throw up, but you avoid the mango flavor anyway."

There's definitely a full story in that somewhere. Maybe Steve will ask about it later. "Kinda? I don't avoid music but I don't think I've put a record or cassette in the player in months. Anyway, my turn. How'd you learn to play the guitar?"

"Wayne. He started teaching me before I live with him. Just a few chords when we'd visit every so often when I was little. Really got to learn after he took me in. I was eleven, if memory serves."

"Am I allowed to ask about your parents?" Steve interrupts.

"Yeah. Speaking of parents," Eddie's nervous again, bouncing his leg.

"It's your turn. Ask."

"I know the high school reputation. Big house, no parents. I might have even snuck over a few times to sale here when I knew a party was happening. Rich kids will pay whatever price you name, y'know? So, guess the actual question is, what's the deal there, with your parents?"

Steve would laugh except he has no memory of ever seeing Eddie at his house prior to all the fuckery that's gone down. He was too in his own head to bother with other people back then. And the real kicker? He probably bought from Eddie, at his own house, with his supposed grudge and all. God, he was such a dick. "Yeah. Lots of business trips, for them. The used to ship me off to spend a month with my grandparents when I was little, so they could take those trips. Guess once I was old enough to watch after myself, those trips started to happen whenever, instead of just over summer."

"What, they left you here alone as a kid? Even during the school year?"

Eddie sounds so scandalized it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad. Steve says, "I wouldn't say kid. I was fourteen, so, like, a teenager. But, yeah, gone a lot. More and more with each passing year. I mean, they've been back, but like, for a day or two. Mom switching out what jewelry she wanted and dad bit by bit emptying his office." He pauses with a frown, remembering now the last time he did see his parents face to face. "It was about halfway through senior year. The last time they were here. They didn't even come to my graduation."

Eddie sucks in a breath and Steve can visibly see him hold back some choice words.

"Anyway, long sob story short, I'm still just a rich kid with absent parents. They don't charge me rent or anything, but I pay to keep the lights on."

"That just adds so many more questions to my list."

"Well, it's my turn now, so. What got you into Dungeons and Dragons?"

Eddie looks surprised, and then guilty. "I've always liked fantasy. And, uhh, my Freshman First Day, the DnD booth was set up in the cafeteria, an okayish looking dragon drawn on the poster taped to the booth's edge. And, uh, I approached..."

"No one told you to fuck off?"

"I didn't tell you to fuck off."

"Might've hurt less if you had," Steve hadn't even meant that to be insulting, or insinuating, but it doesn't land. He'd been aiming for teasing and missed the mark, given the way Eddie jerks back, like he's trying to put more distance between them. "Oh, shit, Eddie, I didn't mean- I was-"

The doorbell rings out and both jump, turning to the front door like it might bite them. The bell chimes again, and it's then Steve remembers he ordered pizza. Wordlessly Steve gets up and deals with that. Pays for the pizza and gives a tip, stops in the kitchen long enough to grab some napkins, then folds himself back onto the couch, placing the pizza box on the cushions between them.

The time away from the couch, less than three minutes in total, Steve thinks, was enough to calm Eddie again, since he starts the teasing, "greasy pizza box directly onto the cushions! That'll never come out you know."

Steve shrugs and grins, flipping the box open to grab a pizza slice. "That's a problem for Future Steve."

Eddie grabs his own slice, and they just eat their first slices in silence before Steve breaks that, "I really wasn't trying to- earlier, I was trying to joke. About Freshman First Day. Not, uh, not like, pick a fight. So, if you still want to talk, I think it's your turn to ask a question. Any question. A big question."

"Alright. A big one. Who is Christopher?"

"Okay. Uh, just, give me a moment. I'll answer and I'm gonna be real honest right now with you, so just let me get through this, ok?"

Eddie nods, reaching for a second slice of pizza.

Steve gathers his thoughts, and speaks. "Christopher was my cousin. His family lives in Washington, so I don't see them much. You know that 'shipped off to the grandparents' thing I told you about earlier? Christopher, and his younger siblings, Amber and Robert, also came out to visit.

"I think my grandparents loved to have us all there. My cousins were there for family time, and I was there to just... not be in my parent's way, I think, but the reason why doesn't matter. The important bit. Christopher was two years older than me, and I thought he was the coolest person in the world. I wanted to be just like him. That last summer we spent together, he told me all about the game of Dungeons and Dragons he'd played with his club at school.

"It made me want to play. I was a kid who loved fantasy, too. I had to pretend to leave that behind when I got into middle school; too afraid of disappointing my dad for still liking make believe. I didn't know at the time that making him proud was just something I'd never achieve.

"Anyway, Christopher introduced me to the game, told me the entire campaign they'd run at his school, and then sent me those books. He's the reason I was at the booth that day. If Christopher could play sports and be a nerd, maybe I could, too? But, uh, that didn't go how I planned in my head. And, then. Then," Steve stops here, a knot in his throat but his eyes dry. It's not that he doesn't still mourn the loss of Christopher, it's just that the tears have dried up long ago. "Christopher committed suicide, that year. Halfway through the school year. I think... I think even if I had joined your club, if you had let me take that flier, I would have dropped out after the funeral. I'd wanted to join so bad so that Christopher would be proud of me."

The room has lost focus, now. Steve is staring forward but he doesn't really see Eddie anymore. It's like he's fallen into his thoughts and nothing else exists anymore. "It's a bit fucked up, but being older than me, I think I looked for approval in him that I didn't find in my dad, or maybe I wanted to be him because his parents were so proud of everything he did and I wanted that. Approval. I- it's- I think I used to confuse the two. Approval and love. Maybe I still do? I dunno.

"I guess I just wrapped all that up, the need for approval, Christopher's suicide, my love for fantasy, and shoved it in the same bottle deep down that I kept my anger at you in," Steve blinks himself back into the present. Takes in Eddie's face, a mix of sad and fond, like he wants to wrap Steve in a hug. Steve would probably let him. "That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry."

Eddie shakes his head no. "You don't have to apologize to me, Stevie. I get it. You wore your jockness that same way I wear The Freak. Like armor. You weren't wrong, earlier, when you said we were dumb kids who learned to lash out and hurt first, so we couldn't be hurt. I was fucking, no, I am still like that. I mean, I just lashed back out at you when all you did was point out how I'd acted to you."

"Yeah, well, life gives everyone a shit hand sometimes. I used to capitalize on that. Kick people when they were down. It's- it's humbling and, like, awful, to unpack that. I know I'm still working on it, but I didn't have to do it alone. Robin and Dustin have been there for me. Great. They call me on my bullshit and it's easier to take then, hearing it from people I know who care about me."

"Guess I better ask find someone to call me out then."

"Haven't you already?" Steve asks, gesturing to himself.

Eddie barks a laugh. "I- yeah, I guess. You sayin' you care, Harrington?"

"Of course I do, man. We wouldn't be doing this -talking about deep shit and getting pizza grease all over my couch- if I didn't."

He watches Eddie turn red, and hide behind his hair. "Could just be doing it for the kids."

"I could. Guess you'll have to trust I'm not. That I also want a do over."

Eddie shoots him a big smile, dimples on full display, and Steve's happy to let go of his grudge if it means Eddie will smile at him like that more.

-

((Looks like there's going to be one more part. Thought this would be the last one but the boys wouldn't cooperate so next part.))

[yankstrash]

I’ve Got You ~ Rutger McGroarty

Warnings: Mentions of attempted SA, swearing, underage drinking, slight physical harm & fighting

Dating a UMich hockey player meant that all your Friday nights consisted of going to a party at the sophomore house, and tonight was no different. You stood in the kitchen, clad in skinny jeans and your favorite red tank top that revealed just enough cleavage, drinking and laughing with Luke and Ethans girlfriends. The three of you sipped mindlessly on whatever sugary punch the freshman boys whipped up tonight as you watched them yell at each other from across the pong table. 

Looking over at your boyfriend, Rutger, you made brief eye contact as he sent a smirk and wink your way. You playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head, a small blush appearing on your cheeks at the sight of your beautiful boy. 

To a lot of people, Rutger had a very intimidating demeanor. While the people closest to him knew he was a total sweetheart and extremely caring, those not close to him did not. He was 6’1”, built, athletic and overall had an intimidating look to his face, making it easy to ward off boys at parties who dared even look your way. It wasn’t usually a problem anyways, as you and Rutger were attached at the hip 90% of the time at parties. Tonight, however, was one of those rare nights where you both kept more to your respected friend groups; at least for now. 

After a few more minutes of giggling at anything and everything, you excused yourself to use the bathroom, as you had just finished your third cup of punch. You approached the bathroom and were met with a line at least 10 people deep.

Fuck that, you had to go. 

Taking advantage of your hockey girlfriend title, you wandered upstairs, which was usually off limits at parties, to use one of the guys' bathrooms. Off limit rules do not apply to girlfriends, duh. As you approached the top of the stairs, you swore you felt a presence not far behind you, but you ignored it assuming it was just one of the guys. You slipped into Ethans bathroom and took care of your business. Just as you finished drying your hands, your phone vibrated in your back pocket. Pulling it out, you smiled as you saw a text from Rutger.

“Where are you? I don’t spot your pretty face in the kitchen anymore :(”

Your smile grew wider as you read the text, shooting one back saying that you were in the bathroom and would be down in a second. Even when you and Rutger weren’t side by side at a party, he always liked you to be in his eyesight to keep an eye on you. 

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you turned and opened the bathroom door, but were barely out of it when you were approached by an unfamiliar boy. Normally this wouldn’t make you uneasy, there were random guys lingering all over the party. However, the only ones allowed up here were the hockey guys, and he was not one of them. 

You jumped back slightly as he was standing quite close to the door frame. 

“My bad, didn’t mean to scare you.” The boy said. 

“It’s okay.” You replied, debating on whether or not you should mention how he’s not allowed up here. You decided to just leave it be, he probably was just going to do his business and leave. Deciding to stay silent, you tried to move past him and head back downstairs, but he wouldn’t budge.

“I’m Jake.” He said, standing in your way. 

You sent him a shy smile back, nodding your head slightly, not returning the name gesture.

“And you are?” He pressed on when you stayed silent.

“I-” You started, but couldn’t find your words as you were growing more nervous as the seconds passed. “Sorry I just need to get back downstairs.” Was all you said as you managed to slip by him. Before you could get too far however, he grabbed your wrist.

“That’s not your name.” He said, as he kept a tight grip on your wrist that continued to grow stronger, sure to leave a mark.

“Please let go of me.” You said, barely audible as your voice grew shaky.

“I guess I could go without a name, five minutes is all I’ll need anyways.” He replied, as he started to drag you back towards the bathroom. Your heart began beating out of your chest as you realized what was happening.

“Please let go of me!” You repeated, using your free hand to attempt to pry your other one out of his grip, but he was much bigger and stronger than you. “I have a boyfriend.” You said. You wanted to start wailing for Rutger, but it would be no use. You were all the way upstairs and the party was way too loud for anyone to hear you. 

“Pretty sure if you had a boyfriend he wouldn’t let a girl as pretty as you be wandering around a party by yourself.” Was all he said as he attempted to keep dragging you towards the bathroom. 

Using all your strength possible, you managed to slip your wrist out of his grip, kneeing him in the groin before turning and flying down the stairs. You could’ve sworn you missed over half of them, but you didn’t care. Your only concern right now was getting to Rutger.

Or Ethan. Or Luke. Or Mark. Or Mackie. Or literally anyone you knew at this moment. 

Pushing your way past people, you finally made it back to the kitchen. The first familiar face you saw was Mark, and you ran straight up to him, crashing into his chest. He barely budged as he was much bigger than you, and used his hands to steady you as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Y/N?” He asked, confused. “What’s going on?” Tears began to spill out of your eyes as you tried to catch your breath, heaving in and out. 

“This guy, he- he.” You choked out, but your words kept getting caught in your throat. That was all any of the boys needed to hear before they were scrambling off to find Rutger. 

“He what? What guy? What did he do?” Mark rapidly fired questions, as he pulled you slightly away from his chest to talk to you face to face. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth to try to explain, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped immediately, clinging back to Mark before you realized who it actually was. 

“Y/N! Baby, it’s me, it’s me, it’s Rut!” You heard the voice of your boyfriend, and wasted not a second more releasing Mark and spinning around to embrace your boyfriend. 

“Hey, hey, shhh, shhh, calm down baby it’s okay, I’m right here, I’ve got you.” 

You gripped his waist tightly, as if he would disappear if you held on any looser. He used one hand to cradle the back of your head, as the other was rubbing your back up and down soothingly. 

He managed to pull you away enough to be able to talk to you. “Baby, can you tell me what happened?” He asked, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out were choked sobs. You were terrified. Who knows what would’ve happened if you hadn’t managed to get away from that guy. 

Rutger didn’t pry, he only held your head against his chest again and soothed you. He held you for a few more moments before trying to get you to talk again.

“Y/N, sweet girl, I will hold you as long as you need, but I need you to tell me what happened and with whom so I can take care of it. Then I promise I will not let you go for the rest of the night.” Rutger reassured. With that, you pulled back slightly and looked up at him.

“I was using E-Ethan’s b-bathroom a-and some g-guy tried to…” You started, choking on your words. “He t-tried to pull me in w-with him when I was trying t-to l-leave.” You managed to get out in between shaky breaths. Rutgers body immediately went rigid, and his expression froze as he clenched his jaw. 

“And he hurt me.” You sobbed out the last part, which made Rutgers head immediately whip down to examine your body for marks. You held up your wrist to him and showed him the bruises that were already forming. He gently took your arm in his hand as he looked at your wrist, his anger only growing more as the seconds passed.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and ask who did this, there was an unknown presence approaching the group of hockey boys. “There you a- oh fuck.” The unknown presence said, but you recognized the voice. It was Jake, who stopped briskly in his tracks as he saw what he just walked into. About ten hockey players, one of them being your boyfriend who currently had steam coming out of his ears.

“Baby, is that him?” Rutger asked, as you turned around in his arms and met the eyes of the guy who tried to assault you. 

You nodded your head yes and gripped onto Rutger tighter, which made him feel guilty about letting go of you, but he had to take care of this guy.

“Luca.” Rutger said, still staring straight at the guy, who tried walking away before Nolan and Mark grabbed him. 

Luca was right up beside Rutger once he said his name. “Take her, please. I need to go deal with this.” Rutger said, as he began to let go of you. When you felt him loosening his grip on you, you only clung tighter. 

“No no, please, please don’t leave me!” You said, as tears began falling again. Rutger felt so guilty for leaving you, as all he wanted to do was hold you as tight as possible and tell you everything was going to be okay. And he would, right after he taught Jake a lesson. 

“Y/N, baby I promise I will be back in 5 minutes, okay? You stay with Luca, he’ll keep you safe. I know you love your Wu Poo hugs.” Rutger said, using the nickname you had given Luca, giving you one last squeeze before passing you over to his best friend. 

If Rutger couldn’t be with you in this moment, you were glad Luca was, as he was also one of your closest friends that you trusted with your life. Releasing your boyfriend, you clung to Luca. 

“I will be back soon love, I promise.” Rutger said, giving you a kiss on your head and turning to Luca. “Do not leave her side, and do not let her see any of this.” Rutger said in Luca’s ear as he nodded. 

“And you.” Rutger said, whipping around and looking at Jake who was still in the grasp of Nolan and Mark. “How dare you touch my girlfriend.” He said, walking up to Jake and ripping him right from Nolan and Mark with ease. “Let’s go have a little chat, yeah?” He finished, dragging the guy outside with half the guys in his trail.

You tried to look over to where Rutger was taking him, but Luca used his hand to shield your face from the scene. “No no, don’t look Y/N. It’s okay, cmon, let’s go sit down.” Luca said as he led you over to the couch. You both sat down as Luca pulled you into his side while you placed your head on his chest and held him tightly. He rubbed your back in a soothing manner. Luca knew how much you meant to Rutger, and he was going to keep you safe while he was gone. 

“Y/N?” You heard, as you looked up from Lucas' chest to see Ethan’s girlfriend, who was your closest girlfriend on the team. “E just told me what happened.” She said as she sat down next to you, and you released Luca to hug your friend. 

“Want me to go help Rut kick his ass?” She asked, which earned a laugh from you. “You definitely could if Eddy would let you.” A couple of the other guys came over to make sure you were okay and talk to you to distract you from whatever Rutger was doing outside. 

Within minutes, the backdoor opened and the guys all filed back inside. Rutger looked around for you, unable to spot you. “Where’s my Y/N?” He asked frantically. Nolan spotted you on the couch and pointed. Rutger immediately rushed over to you, shaking out his hand in the process as it was already bruising from what he did to Jake. 

“Baby.” He said, kneeling down in front of where you were sitting on the couch. You sat up immediately and wrapped your arms around his neck. You didn’t even care what he had done to Jake, you were just glad he was back.

“I’m taking you home.” He said as you nodded your head and you began to stand up, your arms still around Rutgers neck as he took this as a sign that you wanted to be carried. In one swift motion he lifted you off the couch and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“I’m taking her home, I’ll see you guys later.” Rutger said to the group as he released one hand from your back to do his handshake with Luca and thank his best friend for looking after you. 

Rutger wasn’t drinking tonight, so you two got into his car and headed off. The car ride was mostly silent besides Rut asking you whether you wanted to stay at your place or his place tonight, to which you responded his. 

Once you guy got to his apartment he opened your door for you and helped you out of the car, keeping his arm around your waist all the way till you got to his room. 

“Stay here baby.” He said as you sat down on his bed while he scurried off to get some of your clothes. You kept some clothes at his apartment seeing as you were there half the time. You sat on the edge of his bed, holding your arms in your hands. You felt distressed and unsettled after the events that took place tonight. 

You decided to take a shower, hoping it would make you feel a bit better. “Rut, I’m gonna shower real quick.” You said to him as he was gathering your clothes in his closet. 

“Okay baby, are you okay by yourself or do you want me to come with you?” He asked. You shook your head as you said, “I’ll be okay.” And headed off to his bathroom. 

You stepped into the shower, and mainly just stood under the water and let it hit you, trying to cleanse away what happened tonight. You kept thinking about what almost happened with Jake, and it made you feel uneasy and sick. After a while, you got out and wrapped yourself in a towel before heading back to Rut’s room.

When you got back, he was laying in bed on his phone. He sat up when he saw you and gestured towards the clothes on his bed. “Here you go baby.” He gently smiled as he handed you the clothes. You noticed it was a pair of your sleep shorts, underwear and one of your tank tops. 

You smiled weakly and took the clothes from him. “Could I wear one of your shirts?” You quietly asked. Ruts face softened at your question. You were so precious and fragile right now. “Of course you can.” He said as he got up to retrieve one for you.

He came back moments later with a Michigan hockey shirt in his hands. You dropped the towel from around you and slipped on your underwear and sleep shorts before you let your boyfriend slip his shirt on you, which draped down to your knees.

You picked up the towel and hung it back up in the bathroom while Rutger got situated in bed. Once you came back into his room, he was already laying down, waiting to hold you. “C’mere baby.” He cooed as you turned off his light and slipped into bed next to him, immediately clinging to him.

You laid right on top of him as he rubbed your back and calmed you down. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered so you could barely hear it. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He said, and you lifted yourself up a bit to look at him in the dimly lit room.

“You were there, Rut. You were there when I came running to you. You made sure I was with someone you trusted and made sure I didn’t see anything while you dealt with the guy. You got me out of there and took care of me. You did everything you could, so please don’t beat yourself up over it.” You said, holding his face in your hands.

He swallowed hard and nodded his head. “Okay.” 

You leaned in and placed a long, gentle kiss on his lips, before pulling away and nuzzling your head in the crook of his neck. He kissed your forehead and ran his fingers up and down your back.

“I love you.” You said.

“I love you more, and I will always protect you. I promise.” 

[xe-n4]

love in learning

feat. oliver, nagi & sae note: i wrote this ages ago (reupload) contains: i don't remember & i'm not rereading it total: 1,303

—OLIVER

He knew he shouldn’t. But it was right there. The blue notebook you’ve been scribbling in for the last few weeks. It seemed like you were researching something because you had your laptop with you. But you never let Oliver know the contents of it, slamming both the book and laptop shut whenever you saw him. 

He was curious. 

Oliver’s fingers danced around the notebook. He debated with himself. Open it or leave it alone. He may never know what’s inside that book. But you would tell when you were ready, right? 

So he opened it. 

Oliver flicked through the pages, eyes scanning the words. He didn’t understand what he was looking at until he saw the word ‘centre-back’. A grin crept onto his face when he noticed the little doodle of himself next to it. 

You filled the pages with information about football and his favourite players. His heart swelled with joy as he continued to peruse through it. The rules, the positions and their purposes. He couldn’t believe it. 

“Hey, Oli, have you seen—” 

You cut yourself off upon seeing your boyfriend with your notebook. Wave after wave of embarrassment hit you with no mercy, not allowing you time to breathe. Heat spread from your chest to your neck and your hands balled into fists at your sides. 

Oliver stared—you stared as well. The silence was killing you, but the smirk that played on his lips made it worse. You wanted the floor to swallow you whole. Maybe living underground wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Care to explain?” he teased as he gestured to the book. 

You shook your head. 

“No? Okay then, let’s read from it, shall we?” His eyes glinted as he flipped to the next page. “If the score is equal—” 

Something went off in you and you went over to cover his mouth, snatching the book away. Oliver moved your hand off of his face and laughed at your pouting face. 

He wrapped his arms around your torso and leaned in. “Aw, my baby’s so cute,” he spoke as if he was talking to a child. 

“Shut up, old man.” You buried your face in his neck to run away from his teasing. 

“Are you embarrassed?” Oliver leaned back and his hands caressed your chin. His grip was firm but gentle and the feeling brought you a sense of familiarity. But it couldn’t get rid of how humiliated you felt. 

“Y/n, thank you,” Oliver said with a smile. Not one to tease you with, but a genuine smile from a place of happiness. 

Confusion plastered itself all over your features. “What... did I do?” 

“The book.” Your eyes widened, and he hurried to clear the air. “Thank you for trying to understand me and the sport I love. You didn’t have to, going to the games is enough.” 

“The games are kinda boring when you don’t know what’s happening,” you mumbled. 

“Maybe. But thank you anyway.” Oliver planted a kiss on your forehead.

—NAGI

Nagi was lying on his stomach with his phone in hand. He was watching video compilations of traps and other defensive moves. Normally, you’d have no interest in it. Football was Nagi’s thing. But you felt different about it today. 

Once you crawled onto the bed next to him, you rested your head on his shoulder. “Hey, Sei?” He hummed. “What’s a trap?” 

He answered without looking away from the screen. “It’s a move to keep control of the ball.” 

“Cool.” 

This was going nowhere. 

You didn’t know how to ask him, but he also didn’t seem interested. Maybe I’ll try later. You moved off the bed to leave when a hand gripped your wrist tightly. Nagi pulled you back effortlessly. You landed on his chest and he kept you there, putting one arm encompassing you. His other hand still held his phone and resumed the video. 

“Where’re you going?” he mumbled. Nagi didn’t really want an answer. “Stay.” 

“I thought you were busy—”   

“I can multitask.” Nagi nuzzled into you. “What d’you wanna know?” 

“Um... I guess I didn’t really think this through,” you chuckled nervously and Nagi pinched your side in response. 

“So unprepared,” he jokingly scolded. 

Nagi clicked through his phone before setting it in front of you. The video began with the camera scanning through the crowd. People of all different backgrounds cheering from the sidelines with flags, banners and some even had face paint on them. 

The camera then showed the players walking on the field in their flashy uniforms, and the crowd cheered and screamed even louder. The bright lights above the stadium made the grass look lighter than it was. 

“Sei, what’s this?” 

“Football game,” he replied. “I’ll talk you through it.”  

“I like that you want to know more. It made me feel something inside. I liked it.” 

You laughed at his simplistic way of describing his emotions, then he shushed you when the game started. Nagi pointed to each of the players when he talked about their positions. He explained the moves they did and why someone got a yellow card. 

His soft voice brought you comfort, which made it easier to concentrate on the sport, though you barely understood it. 

After the game ended, Nagi stared at you expectantly, silently asking for your opinion. “It was fun.” was your only response. 

It was. Maybe your judgement before was biased, but now you had a better understanding of why your boyfriend loved it so much. 

—SAE

“I thought you didn’t like football,” Sae said with a straight face, looking up from his laptop 

“Well... I thought it would be fun if you taught me some stuff,” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck. His stare made your heart race and your ears sting. Not in a good way. 

“What’s the point if you don’t care about it,” he grumbled as he went back to what he was doing. A very obvious tell that he didn’t want the conversation to continue. 

You sat down in the chair next to him and interlocked your pinkies. “I care about you though.” 

Sae’s eyes flicked from your joined hands to your face a few times before he sighed. A small smile made its way onto his face. He properly intertwined your hands and leaned down to kiss them.  

“Get changed, we’re going out.” was the only instruction he gave. Though he implied that wearing anything fancy would be a terrible idea. 

And he was right. 

Sae took you to the nearest football centre and rented out a small field. Goals stood tall and mighty on each side, and white lines ran across the grass. The sun was still beaming down, and you wished that you’d just kept it to yourself. 

“Is this really necessary?” you whined before walking onto the grass. 

Your boyfriend was ahead, holding a ball against his hip. “This is the only way you’ll learn, Y/n.” 

“Or is it the only way you can teach?” you mocked under your breath as you followed behind him. 

And with your horrible luck, he heard every word. Sae turned around once he got to the centre and set down the ball. “Four laps.” 

“Huh?” 

“What’d you mean ‘huh’?” He settled his hands on his hips with a—fake—frown. “Fine then. Five laps. Hurry!” 

During that ‘warm up’, you gained a stitch in your side and sweat soaked through your clothes. After that Sae, showed you how to dribble and tackle. The first time you successfully stole the ball from him made his heart full as he watched you celebrate, then collapse, demanding a break. 

“Dumbass.” He booped your nose before shoving a water bottle into your face. Wordlessly you took it and started chugging its content as if you’ve never had a drink of it before. Sae grinned. “Dumbass.” 

m.list | like & reblog

[yeoosaangg]

Tidal Wave || Kinktober - Day 10

pairing ▸ bang chan × f!reader

now playing ▸ tidal wave - chase atlantic

⤷ ❝passion drippin' off the wall, baby. damn, you make it easy.❞

genre ▸ idol au, secret relationship, smut, angst

warnings ▸ getting caught, throat fucking, gagging, teasing, rough sex, consented recording

── ⋆ ⋆ ── 𔘓 ── ⋆ ⋆ ──

Chan nods his head along the new beat he just made; he's still debating whether it needs more bass or he should strip back the instrumental during the chorus.

Chan: What do you think, baby?

You look up at him and he chuckles at the sight of your tears. You have drool pooling down your mouth, his huge cock deep inside your throat.

He runs his fingers through your hair, pushing some out of your face so he can see you better.

Chan: Oops, totally forgot that you can't speak. Silly me.

You whine, wanting nothing more than to touch yourself. But he hasn't given you permission for that yet. Your hands were obediently placed on your knees.

Chan: You look pretty like this, babygirl. Swollen lips wrapped around my cock with spit all over your face.

You breathe slowly through your nose, eyes fluttering the deeper you get into sub space.

He's had his cock in your mouth for five minutes now, but you love it that way. Whether it was your mouth or your pussy, you loved having him inside you.

When your face starts turning red, he moans. His hands grip the roots of your hair and he slams his hips into your face.

You begin to gag from having no air left. He holds you down, cum spilling down your throat.

Chan: So good for me. Sit on my fucking cock and let me get some material for this song, yeah?

You crawl out from under the table and straddle his lap. He brings forward a microphone and presses the recording button.

You slowly take his cock into your aching cunt, moans echoing off the studio walls.

Chan: That's it, babygirl. Use my cock however you want.

You steady yourself on his shoulders, bouncing as fast as you could. Both of you don't hold back in moaning, letting the pleasure take over.

He's addicted to the feeling of your tight cunt swallowing his thick cock. The sounds that leave your lips encourage him to grab your hips and fuck you roughly.

You two were too deep in reaching your highs that you failed to hear the voices right outside the studio.

Felix: Channie hyung, we brought you- What the fuck!!!

You scream, about to pull off Chan when he holds your hips down, covering your lower half with his jacket and using his body to cover your chest.

He growls in annoyance, stopping the recording before anything else ruins his masterpiece.

Minho covers Felix's eyes in an attempt to save whatever innocence he has left.

Felix: We're so sorry!

Minho: Speak for yourself. Can't believe he's getting pussy and not me.

Chan: What do you two want? I'm busy.

Minho: We can tell. I was unaware you were bitchless.

Felix: Hey! That's a rude thing to say about a woman.

Minho: You're absolutely right, baby. I apologize.

The boy with freckles smiles, not caring if Minho was still covering his eyes. It's better than seeing something he wasn't supposed to.

You hide your face in Chan's neck, feeling very embarrassed at being caught.

Minho: We'll just leave the food we brought and go back home.

Chan: You do that.

Minho: Who's the girl?

You clear your throat, not feeling very social given your current state.

Chan doesn't say anything, making you feel sad. You knew why he wanted to keep the relationship a secret, but did that also have to extend to his friends?

Minho: Wait, I recognize that back tattoo... Are you fucking one of the stylists?

Chan: Dude, just go home. We'll take about this later.

Felix: You know it's okay to date, right? The least you could do is let us know to avoid these situations.

Minho: Or, you know, lock the fucking door like a normal person. Especially if you're going to have these one night stands in our public working space.

Chan: Leave the fucking food and go!

Minho rolls his eyes and places the takeout bag next to what he assumes is your stuff. He pushes Felix out and locks the door on his way out.

Chan: I'm sorry, baby.

You hum, trying to get out of his grip.

Chan: Hey, what's wrong.

Y/n: My color's now red. I don't want to do this anymore.

He frowns, but let's go of your waist. You finally climb off of him and start dressing yourself again.

You're very upset. Not only did you not get to cum, but your boyfriend didn't correct Minho about your relationship.

Is he really so against people knowing about you that he let's them think you're nothing but a one night stand? And why would he think you were their stylist based off your tattoo?

Chan: Did I do something wrong?

You scoff, grabbing your things so you can leave. But he grabs your wrist and turns you around so you can look at him. His heart drops at the sight of your tears.

Chan: Talk to me, babygirl. Why are you so upset?

Y/n: Why didn't you just tell them about me, huh? Why'd he assume I was your stylist? Why'd you let him think I was just a whore you fuck?

He tries to speak, but no words come out.

This was not how you expected your night to go. You thought you could surprise your boyfriend after not seeing him for a few months due to their schedules.

You definitely didn't think he was embarrassed to be seen with you, let alone reduce you to nothing but a cockslut he put a label on.

Y/n: Really? Nothing to say?

He chokes on his words, pulling you into a hug.

Chan: I was in shock. They showed up out of nowhere and you were naked- I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this.

You push him off, a tired sigh leaving your lips.

Y/n: If you're too embarrassed to tell your own friends who I am, I think it's best we end this here.

Chan: No! We are not breaking up over this.

Y/n: Then why didn't you tell them about me?!

You didn't mean to yell, but your emotions were all over the place.

Chan: Because I wanted at least one thing for myself. Everything I do in my life, it involves them. Is it so bad that I wanted to keep you a secret?

You wipe your eyes, feeling your chest tighten.

Chan: Being with you is an escape from being Bang Chan, the idol. You make me feel like Christopher, the regular guy. I love you, and I'm sorry if I made you feel anything less than the wonderful woman that you are.

You hug his torso, burying your face in his firm chest.

Y/n: I get why you wanted to hide it, Chan. But you could've handled the situation better. It was humiliating sitting there and hearing his words and seeing me like that.

He hugs you, feeling relieved that you didn't walk out on him.

Chan: I'm so sorry. Please don't break up with me. I'll tell them about us. Please don't ever think I don't love you, because I do. So fucking much.

You smile, nodding your head.

Y/n: By the way, I'm fighting your stylist.

He let's out a laugh, and kisses your forehead. Even in times like this, you manage to make him laugh.

═══

a/n: i am mentally ill. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

[jeridandridge]

Puppy Love

You and Melissa unexpectedly get a puppy.

When you leave Melissa’s house to head to work you have to put your wipers on full speed while you lean forward keeping your eyes and ears alert because of the pelting rain. You knew Melissa would be okay in her truck, but you’re relieved when you get to the school already seeing it parked.

Sitting in your car for a few minutes debating if you should get out and make a run for it, you see something small and fluffy shivering next to a box near the dumpster. You put your headlights back on and squint seeing what you think is a little puppy.

“Shit.” You huff turning the car off and moving as fast as you can in the downpour. Head down you try not to slip on the slick cement as you get to the dumpster. “Hi, baby.” You smile at the scared puppy. Taking your jacket off you move forward and grab the black and brown creature, the both of you totally drenched.

Wrapping the puppy up you hold it against your chest as you run up to the door letting out a breath when you get into the school. “Okay, it’s okay baby.” You hum drying him off as best you can with your jacket. You’re shivering yourself, the October air mixed with the rain chilled you to the bone. Walking down the hall in your now squeaky shoes you get to the teachers lounge meeting Melissa’s eyes right away with a soft smile through your chattering teeth.

“My lord, y/n, what happened?” Barbara gets up, Melissa hot on her heels coming over to rub her hands up and down your arms.

“I p-pulled in and saw th-this puppy.” You laugh through a shiver nodding to the shaking bundle in your arms, his little ears flopped to the side.

“Of course you’d save a puppy, hon.” Melissa smiles as Jacob brings you a blanket putting it around your shoulders.

“It’s not a towel but it’ll work.”

“Thanks. He was h-hiding in a box.” You explain trying to dry the puppy off more.

“Looks like a German Shepard.” Melissa comments moving to your side.

“He was outside in a box?” Barbara asks.

“He was under it trying to avoid the rain.”

As you talk to Barb Melissa helps dry you off, scrunching your hair with the blanket causing Jacob to look curiously between you two before his eyes go wide.

“Maybe Mr. Johnson can watch him for me until the end of the day.” You hum trying to come up with a plan.

“Let’s worry about getting you warm before you worry about the dog, hon.”

“It’s just rain.” You smile with a little shiver, enjoying Melissa’s touch. Normally you stay clear of each other at work wanting to keep your relationship quiet until you’re both ready to tell people.

You stand closer to Melissa almost leaning into her, still feeling the cold deep in your bones while the puppy cuddles into you, his head tucking under your chin. Giving your girlfriend a soft smile you know you two will have to talk about keeping the dog.

“Cmon, bring the gremlin to my classroom and I’ll give you one of my back up shirts.”

You follow Melissa out, her hand on your lower back.

“So do they still think we don’t know?” Jacob asks Barb who sits at the table with a smirk.

She can only hum.

-

“I know a pet can be a lot but I couldn’t leave him out there, Mel.” You explain setting the small bundle down on the floor next to her desk.

“I know, Tesoro. It’s how you are.” She smiles pulling a soft sweater out of her drawer, the puppy wagging its tail at her.

“Oh no.” You laugh watching the small bundle of fur burrow into your jacket.

Melissa hands you the sweater then the coffee thermos from her desk with a smile. “You warm up and I’ll keep this one entertained.”

You were glad there was still a half hour until the kids got there. You quickly get out of your wet dress shirt shivering when the air hits your cold skin.

As you dry your hair a bit more you smile watching Melissa sit at her desk with the puppy in her arm.

“Definitely a boy.” She says rubbing the pups belly.

“What do you think? German Shepards are loyal, very protective. They remind me of you.” You smile.

Melissa gives you a goofy smile cuddling the puppy. A smile that says you two now have a pet.

-

The next evening Melissa comes home from work to dim lighting and the tv playing softly. She smiles coming over to see you and little Franklin asleep on the couch, the puppy tucked into your hoodie. Reaching out she puts the back of her hand to your forehead checking for any lingering fever. She knows you didn’t mind catching a cold after the previous mornings events, especially now that you both get puppy cuddles.

[poetryvampire]

you and me are Rolan pantie thief truthers! I wonder if there are more of us?

But anyways I know his posh butt is a fool for some of Tavs panties, they have just gotten down relishing in each other’s embrace. Tav is leaving tomorrow to go on a week long visit to emerald grove. They will be gone for a few days… and Rolan doesn’t think he will be able to make it a week without his love…

But oh? Just from the coner of his eye he sees the dainty fabric he had pulled off them earlier… and Tav wouldn’t notice… so while Tav is in the bathroom Rolan cast mage hand and slips their panties into his robes pocket…

It doesn’t fully satisfy how much he misses Tav… but it does help ease the ache… Rolan presses the crotch to his nose taking a deep whiff as he palms his cock faster, the tip drooling with precum he wishes that wasn’t wasted on the floor but instead in you… the thought of being buried deep makes him fist his cock faster, his tongue dragging across the material desperately hoping for a lingering taste.

During his post nut clarity he will chastise himself for being a pervert… but he’s still being the material to his nose after a while, needing to feed his addiction…

He doesn’t know if he will last anymore days… or if you will ever get your panties back in one piece.

GODS this is literally perfect. I'm so so normal about this idea omg thank you 💜💙💜💙💜💙

Also rip i'm so sorry this got lost in my drafts for so long 😥

You're so so right. It would def start out like that, with Tav being away and him longing for them like a sad lil puppy. He's also totally alone so he'd feel a little more comfortable to indulge. Rolan's 100% his own worst enemy and beats the hell out of himself over the kink. He's embarrassed just how much he likes it and doesn't want anyone-especially Tav- to ever find out.

But rip once he does it boy is HOOKED. At first he promises himself only to do it when they're away, which doesn't happen terribly often. Still he tires to keep to his word...until he just happens to find a pair under the bed, surely tossed away in the heat of the moment. Before he can even form a debate he's huffing into them, rutting into his fist as fast as he can. Needless to say Rolan ends up indulging much more than he wants to admit. He makes a habit of nabbing a pair and keeping them with him when he's particularly stressed. Nothing get's him off as hard and fast. They're prefect for when he's locked in his office, desk heaping with notes and papers on a spell he just can't get right.

Of course, it doesn't take that long for Tav to catch on. At first they thought they were just misplacing them. Until enough go missing altogether. As much as Rolan tries to be gentle he's ripped some apart with his teeth or by wrapping them around his cock. And it's certainly strange how the panties only go missing right after they've worn them. One day Tav just asked Rolan without much thought. It's not like they haven't stolen his shirts or sweaters before. Terrible lair as always, it's the look of horror on the wizards face as he brushes it off that confirms it. Tav is ready to push him on it until they clock just how red(der) he's turned and it dawns on them. They decide to take a different path to broach the subject.

A few days later Tav makes a point get back from an early morning workout not long before Rolan is headed to work. As he rambles to them about the drudgery waiting for him from the other room, Tav slyly slips off their panties and neatly places them in the inner pocket of his robe. They finish just in time for Rolan to grab it from them before kissing their head and hurrying out the door.

[corpsebasil]

thinking more about um. knight Nikolai lantsov. my masterlist will have all the parts for this.

like hold onnnn okay.

i was thinking of a scene in my head where maybe you, the princess, was disrespected. like bad. and you’re raging mad and screaming in the face of this noble that so thoroughly offended and disrespected you and Sir Nikolai walks up just looking murderous. he pulls you away, still yelling obscenities, then gives up and just picks you up bridal style and leaves with you, INSTANTLY calming you down a fraction since he’s so strong and good god smells amazing and—

but yeah you know he looked over his shoulder and gave that noble a look so violent the man almost pissed himself on the spot.

i think that knight nikolai would still be cocky and playful but mostly stoic and calm in his dealings with you and especially in public. like he barely speaks to you at all in public. just stands behind you, silent and deadly, although sometimes—

oh shit hold on—

you know how—

(just had to stop to scream out loud. sorry neighbors)

like you know the hand touching thing in period dramas or just the constant yearning for even SOME physical contact? like he’d pass you in the hall or be standing behind you and you suddenly just—feel his fingers GRAZE yours.

(lemme put this in a way you folks can DIGEST)

You’re standing in front of him during one of the most boring state meetings you’ve attended in a while. It’s standing room only at the moment since, to your chagrin, the seats taken at the table are occupied by your elder brothers and knights. Nikolai is standing behind you, where he always is, a looming presence that’s warm and protective.

And then you feel it. During a louder point of the argument, a heated debate between the knights, advisors, and royals, you feel it. Just slightest brush of his fingers against yours, hardly noticeable, but your breath hitches and you tense.

He runs the side of his pinkie slowly down your own, his touch burning against your skin, then stops abruptly when one of his fellow knights asks him a question. He responds casually, almost infuriatingly calm, because why is he so able to be normal when your heart feels like it’s trying to actively escape your chest?

And the next day after a particularly long time getting dressed and entertaining your ladies he touched you again in public. He didn’t even look at you as he did it—just walked by you in the hallway, passing you in the opposite direction, and you forced your eyes to stay ahead when he brushed his knuckles against yours.

OKAU OKAY I’m gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

You know the scene in Bridgerton where Antony like…sniffs her as she walks by? I feel like you’d stand a bit too close to him and when no one’s looking he’d just lean in a bit closer and breathe you in. You’re intoxicating to him. Next level state of infatuation.

And once when he was visiting you in your rooms, you resting against his chest in a large chair while you were reading a book aloud to him, pressed completely and totally relaxed against his front, all of a sudden you’d feel his nose brush your neck and you’d tense up, instantly distracted.

“Keep reading.” He’d say, voice low in your ear, and you would. But you’d be wound up as hell.

[writingcold]

Hello!  Welcome to Chapter 7.1 and 7.2 of CD&FE.  

Pairing: Jake X Female Reader 

Summary: This is an AU that starts with the release of GVF’s first EP, Black Smoke Rising, and follows along life paths over the course of twenty plus years.  I’m just going to say I’m smiling.  

Content warnings: Total Fluff.  Like Josh’s hair at Red Rocks.  

Word Count: approx. 6.2K 

We’re almost there.  I’m picturing @edgingthedarkness and @takenbythemadness rubbing their hands over the pending last part of this chapter.  It’s…  I can hear them cackling over it still.  But that’s next week.  We’ll just swoon together this week, okay?

CD&FE, Part 7.1: Jake’s POV

     We needed to slow down a bit.  Our families were feeling the effects of us always on the road.  Danny was a single dad and Sam was struggling to keep his own marriage together.  When things got super serious about priorities, it was decided that it would not kill us to pump the brakes.  We would tour heavily the first year out after an album, but then taper off, picking festivals and one offs that were more friendly to the family schedules.  This had a ripple effect for all of us - Danny had more time to spend in his folk sphere and play as a session musician for many of his friends.  Sam was really making strides in his production interests, going so far as starting his own company that kept him busy enough to settle his bouncy nature.  Josh had found a niche that satisfied his time with a camera.  

     That left me.  I had a litany of projects with other bands and musicians, which was great.  But what was keeping me busy in all that newly found downtime was creating tech for rigs.  I had three different editions with a large guitar company issued, along with pedals, and even a few unique electronic pieces that I held patents to.  

      I had found a balance between my commitments with the band, with my commitments to tinkering with the tech side, and being able to fucking live.  I was able to pursue interests apart from music.  I traveled - mostly alone.  It was strange, but I found solace in silent spaces.  It was more than enough to keep myself sane.

      I had a string of relationships that served their purposes at their given time, but nothing stuck for longer than a few months.  I was happy.  No matter what, I was happy.  I felt healthier than I had felt in years.  I got to spend an abundant amount of time with Dad and his bands.  It had become more important since the old man was beginning to actually feel his age.  We’d spend days going from tiny bar to tiny amphitheater to take in acts that we would debate over and appreciate together.

      We were returning to the states after touring Europe in support of our eighth album release, ready to strike out across the States and Canada.  I knew at some point I needed to look at the pending schedule, but we had a few weeks off.  I found myself at my cabin close to Yankee Springs.  Childhood nostalgia aside, it was the best retreat that I could find after the first part of the tour.  The Spring air was crisp and the scrap of snow that still haunted the ground made sure that I was mostly alone in the area.  By the end of the first week, I was actually sleeping like a normal fucking human, and behaving like one, too.

      I finally was able to wrap my head around getting back into work and after bantering back and forth with Sam about meetings with management, I looked at the pending schedule.  St. Paul was towards the beginning of the Midwest stretch.  I closed that shit down and walked out onto the porch with a fresh cup of coffee and my pack of smokes to settle into my old man rocking chair to watch the day go by.  I felt calm as the day whittled away.  My thoughts bent back to Ann Arbor and that girl that had caught me absolutely despising myself for resorting to flirting to get people to see our show.  She had captured my imagination the moment I saw the Deep Purple album between her fingers.  She had my spirit the moment she walked out of my hotel room door without a goodbye.

      Every time my path crossed hers, I fell harder for her.  Each time we parted, the longer it took to recover.  She took parts of my heart every chance she got, while leaving me with parts of her own in hopes of returning to reclaim.  We had been through St. Paul a few times, but I actively avoided any contact.  I supposed that was fear on my part.  I had been with Clara.  I was not that guy.  The last time through, however, I was alone, but I was healing.  I didn’t have the balls to check her socials.  I didn’t have the fortitude to see if she was still with him.  I just hoped that she was happy.

       I was not on the rotation for the big meetings with the suits this time around - Sam and Josh had drawn the short straws, they would whine about it and I just quietly flipped them off.  It gave me a few more days up north.  Danny brought his boys and we spent time down at the lake and running through the woods.  It felt good.  It felt like I was strong.  Ronnie and her family joined us, rounding out our nights with laughter and kids playing.  It was hard not to feel the mind tug back to easier times.  

       Tour started in Nashville and moved east, then across the south, heading west until we landed in San Francisco.  We turned north and worked our way back east with the intent of finishing in Detroit.  Despite small hiccups and a few of us being dogged by respiratory illnesses, we were cruising right along at a good clip.  We had built in family time every few weeks, taking a break to soak up kids and spouses/partners just for the sanity of Josh and Sam.  It was working well.  We had one such break between Rapid City and St. Paul.  Because of school, Danny found himself stuck hanging out with me as we waited for Josh and Sam to have their time.  We decided to push on to the Twin Cities, taking in the river and hanging out.  

      Wednesday I found myself itching to find her.  A voice in the back of my head was whispering, but I wasn’t paying much attention until it was nearly four in the morning.  I decided to check to see if she was even bothering with socials any more.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that she had posted three months prior - a picture of her with a group of friends.  She looked different.  Beautiful as ever, but there was something missing.  A shine?  I noticed that her smile was not as warm, her eyes were not as bright.  I felt a hurt pass over my chest as I scrolled back through, finding no evidence of him.  Was she alone?  I didn’t dare to text the old number I had still residing in my contact list, but I had pulled it up and stared at the picture of the cottage that I had as the profile picture.

      I convinced Danny to go to that pub she had taken me to.  I somehow remembered that there was live music on Thursday nights.  ‘Perhaps’ was the word that I was thinking about throughout the day.  I had no actual guarantee that she was even still in St. Paul.  I had just this tiny hope that she would somehow know that I was in town.  I knew her company was once again handling the graphics and ads for the show.  I also knew that her company was handling not just the show in Minnesota, but in Des Moines, all three shows in Chicago, Milwaukee, and Detroit.  Though it was someone else’s name attached to the team, I hoped that she had seen us on the roster, just as in times before.

      The pub had changed little from the one time I had been there, however, by the time we arrived, it was much more crowded.  I won’t lie and say that I didn’t spend my first twenty minutes looking around to see if she was there, because I did.  Danny was in conversation already with the bartender about the band that was in the middle of setting up on the small stage.  My eyes wandered around, landing on the booth that we had shared.  Everything with Y/n had been natural.  Never rushed.  Quick to laughter.  Always savoring every moment we had together.  It was like we knew our time was always fleeting and we just needed to absorb whatever we could.  Problem was - my  being wanted it like a drug.  Wanted her more than anything to just stay.

      We settled into dinner and a fresh round of beers as the band began to play - mostly covers of well trod tunes.  And they were good.  I sometimes missed the days of finding joy in just playing to play.  There was something to be said to get to hone an entire show, crafting how each piece was played over the course of a tour, but something else entirely to just being in the moment and the honesty in something so small.  Three songs into the set, however, I heard a familiar muted sound.  My brain ran through the guitarist’s rig like one of those fucking TV moments where the character figures out brain surgery or something.  I glanced at Danny before I made my move towards the stage.

      I pointed to the pedal and amp while catching the guitarist’s eye.  He looked at me like I was about to touch his grail or something.  I shrugged and started to turn when the most god awful shriek came across the speakers.  He had such a look of panic that I had to help at that point.  I grabbed the single pedal, disconnecting and tearing off the back.  It was totally fried inside.

     “Fuck no,”  he gasped as he knelt down.

     “Keep playing,”  I remarked as I shoved my fingers around the hot wires.

     It was a fairly easy fix, but I needed more cabling.  I tucked behind the amps, finding what I needed and restrung the whole bit.  By the time I returned to the pedal, six phones were out and up with faces that were beaming behind them.  I smiled and waved, knowing full well my anonymity was blown.  Oh fucking well.  

      “You’ve done this before,”  the guitarist said as I finished hooking him back up.

      “Yeah, Coachella was interesting.  Another time in Mexico City.  Nearly blew up somewhere in Italy once…  Imagine doing this with a few thousand eyes on you,”  I snickered as I took my bow and backed away.

       I was polite and stood for a few fan pictures before making my way back to my nearly cold dinner.  Danny grinned as I reached for my beer.

      “Show off,”  he snarked, leaning his back against the bar top.

      “Poor kid didn’t know he was about to literally go up in flames,”  I said before shoving a french fry in between my teeth.

      Their song wrapped and the singer pointed us out with a big “thank you to Jake fuckin’ Kiszka for your amazing assist”, to which all I could to do is fight an eyeroll and cheer them with a lift of my beer.  By the time I pushed away my plate and finished our drinks, we were ready.  I got the band’s credentials from the pub manager.  I wanted to be sure to send that kid a proper pedal and perhaps some gear, just to help them out, even if he never made it out of the bar scene.  There was no hope of seeing her in the wild, so what was the point of hanging out?  By the time we reached the hotel, our social media manager was on our asses about the “occurrence”.  She scolded us for not taking video ourselves as that’s the shit that gets eaten up.  We should just be thankful that there were a few steadfast fans that were being super positive on the feeds.  Sometimes, this business takes all the fun from the part that really only held what was important to me.

      We were playing Target Stadium come Saturday.  Friday, we welcomed Josh and Sam back in and we spent the evening just going over the set list and catching up on the family.  Mom and Dad would be there for each show from here through Detroit.  It was good to have them close.  I went to bed alone, knowing that she was out there, close, but not nearly close enough.

      Sound check went fine.  It was not the biggest venue we had played, but it was large.  It was something to have our sound pulsing through the air and striking the empty seats.  I was retreating off the stage when I saw a familiar figure, one that I thought I would not be seeing.  Her face was shadowed as she was talking to a few of the suits that were in attendance, but when her eyes met mine, there was a shine that I had desperately missed.  The slow smile that tugged and pulled across her lips set me on an edge that I could only tumble down from.  My feet turned towards her direction, and I was unable to even think about stopping from my path towards her.

      “Deep Purple,”  I said as I approached.

      The warmth of her laugh healed the distance.  She wrapped her arms around my shoulders as she stepped in close to me.  I felt all of me melt against her and hold on for dear life.  I breathed her in as I nuzzled into her neck.  I could care less of how it looked.  I felt her chest quiver against mine and knew she was moved just as much as I.  

      “I’ve been looking for my mouse,”  I whispered and smiled when I heard her breath catch in her throat.

      She moved just enough to allow her lips to meet mine in a chaste kiss.  I could taste tears and wasn’t sure if they were hers or my own.  We hid against each other until we could both recover.  I was sure my heart was leaping within my chest when I saw her eyes filled with the spark that had been missing in the pictures I had just seen of her.

      “I’ve missed this face,”  she said quietly, tracing her fingers down my jaw.  

      I could not stop myself from taking all of her in - the fine laugh lines at the corners of her mouth and eyes.  The way her cheek blushed when she realized I was studying her.  How her hands would not leave my body for more than a second.  Damn, she was the most beautiful she had ever been if I had to compare to all of our meetings.  She had taken my breath away and all of my reason with it.

      Josh called from behind me and I felt the moment get yanked away.  There were a few items left on the day that I had committed to and could not be put off.  I cursed as she frowned, which was only mirroring my reaction.

      “I should’ve-”  she started, withdrawing from me.

      “Wait.  I have these promotions, then…”

      “I knew you were here, Jake.  I should’ve reached out.  You have no time for this.”

      I cursed again as I looked back at my waiting twin and Mom, both wearing the same mischievous look.  “I have another break in about three weeks.  Will you be here?”

      She touched my hair, passing her fingertips across the streaks of gray amongst brown that I had allowed to be seen.  “I’ll be here.  Same number.  Just…”

      It was the best I could hope for.  By the time I hit the stage that night, it was like I was weightless.  I’m sure my brothers were taken aback by my energy of the evening, but they could fuck off.  Mom hugged me tight that night and asked if that was the girl I’d been waiting for - the girl that held me like I was her life.  

      “I’ve waited for her for so long.  I hope I can prove it to her that it’s finally our time,”  I said, as she held onto me.

      “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy, honey,”  she said, filling me once again with all of the emotions of earlier.  

      The joy that had infused me was only spiked further as my phone pinged a notification when we were loading up on the buses.  It was from her.  I waited until I was away from curious eyes to open it.  

      I’ve made some changes.

      I had no idea what she meant, but I desperately needed to find out.

CD&FE, Part 7.2: Her POV

      Four words had never felt so heavy, and yet so freeing at the same time.  

      I’ve made some changes.

      Four words that I hoped were enough to convey that my path had been lost, found and re-paved since our last meeting. My life with Frank had been beautiful.  My life with Frank as we tried to make the long distance between us work was not so beautiful.  We tried.  There was no leeway for him - he had to be in Paris.  I had a little bit of give, working from his tiny little rooms that the university had provided, but my company was once again expanding.  I needed to be present to woo new clients.  I was needed to be present to ensure the quality of our work to our established clients who preferred to work with me in person.  It became us trying to prop up tent poles for a tent so riddled with holes and flooding with water that neither of us could survive.

      In the end, it felt bitter to be walking away after so much was put into the relationship.  It took more than a while to recover.  I fought from throwing myself back into work - which would have been the easiest thing to do. Bury myself in hours away from home; away from being alone.  I sold the apartment that we had so fallen in love with.  Everything was very civil in regards to dividing up the holdings.  I was thankful for that.  I found a little craftsman home from the early 1900s that was further out of the city on a scrap of land where I didn’t have neighbors two feet away from me.  It was… nice.  I continued to work from home three days a week.  I somehow found a balance - one that I knew I had been lacking.

      I took time to go home to my parents.  I took time to spend with my siblings and their families.  I took time to absorb Pat and Sidney’s family.  I took time to mourn my time with Frank.  Finally, I took time to really be well within myself.  I took about six weeks off, first to move into the new space, then to just be a regular human.  I did travel back to Duluth, but did not stay in the cottage that I had with Jake.  I walked the trails that we had slipped and slid across together.  I went to the mansion, but this time the gardens were in full bloom.  I knew my spirit bled for him.  I realized that there was no one else that I wanted.  There was no one else that understood me like Jake did; despite our time together adding up to little more than thirteen days.  DAYS.  

      At first, I did not want to believe that this deep seeded need was love for a man I knew in such an ephemeral manner.  I had promised that man to latch onto someone who could love me where I was.  And I did love Frank.  I am convinced that I loved him deeply.  However, there was always a dogged feeling that not all of my needs were being met - not the way that Jake fulfilled me.  What was wrong with me that I couldn’t fully accept that fact.

     I celebrated my forty-third birthday by doing nothing.  I was by no means feeling old or sad about my age.  Fuck that.  I was feeling better than I had in years.  I was strong and independent and …  When I had seen that the GVF ticket had been passed along to my old position that was now occupied by Cody Youngblood, I knew perhaps I was ready.  I had sheltered in place the last time they had blown through town.  This time, however, I paid attention.  I was upper, administrative management now, no need to sit in on the tasks that were once so important to me.  But I did take notice and follow the progress through.  I wondered if any of them realized that it was now my company that was handling them throughout the Midwest stretch.  We had our tendrils reaching across the states and even into Toronto.  

      I had checked the schedule of shows, knowing that this account was huge compared to even a few years prior.  Live acts had changed considerably with the advent of having streamed shows across multiple venues.  GVF were part of a dying breed that some speculated would be relegated back to playing on street corners and honky tonk bars.  But the band was persevering - along with many others that were proving that live music - not streamed performances - were still best practice.  I was stuck in Des Moines with a project that had simply imploded when I knew there was a break before playing the area in Minneapolis.  The client was pissed off that we had followed their wishes to a ‘t’ and it fell apart just as the project manager had predicted.  I soothed the ruffled feathers and salvaged what I could before trudging home, afraid that I was going to be too late.

     While on the plane, Pat sent me a link with a question if that was ‘my’ guitar player.  A friend of his had been at the pub that night and had video showing Jake helping a band out.  I stared into my screen.  What didn’t seem real was followed by all sorts of accounts that Jake had helped out a young guitarist during their set.  There were pictures splashed all over.  Each new picture came with a fresh fight to catch my breath.  I had to get home.  I needed to make my way to him.

      I was a ball of anxiety as I dressed and prepared to get into the sound check that was scheduled.  Cody was to be there taking care of our company’s tasks, but I thought dropping in would look good on such a large, long-term account.  At least that was my cover.  I passed through security and surprised Cody as he was running through his final digital checks.  It was an amazing set up.  It was hard not to feel the energy in the air.  We were deep in the guts of the stadium when the sound vibrated through my form.  Jake’s playing was unmistakable.  I smiled as we walked up through the layers of concrete until we were in the open air.  A group of techs were standing to the side, making adjustments and honing in on the sound that was needed.  We moved towards a group of management that we knew, and were going over the final touches as the check came to a close. 

      My chest was on the verge of rupture when the band started down the main stairs that would lead them right past us.  I kept my attention where Jake would eventually appear, but I turned away as I heard commotion towards the back of the stage.  My body felt hot and jumpy the longer I waited.  He was here.  He was so close.  I wondered if he would be happy to see me.  I panicked at the notion that he may just walk past me without acknowledgement.  I had not contemplated that part.  I just knew I needed to be here, at this time.  

      He had his head down as he descended the metal stairs.  I smiled at the amount of silver that had invaded his hair.  Clad in sunglasses, he looked soft in trousers, boots and a pull over.  I was glad to see that the mustache and goatee were in place, but once again, speckled with gray in the best way possible.  How was this man aging like this?  He was even more handsome compared to his form from years before.  He looked up and paused.  I hoped that he saw me - that his slowing of tread was because of me.  He took his sunglasses off and my breath stopped completely.  He was walking towards me, eyes filled with recognition and warmth.  I had no idea if it would be any kind of touch until he called me ‘Deep Purple’ and I had no choice but to fall into his embrace.

       There’s a feeling that can overcome you when you pull on your favorite outfit, or snuggle down into the right blanket, or how the sunshine hits your face after you’ve been upset and you just know it’s all good.  The moment he touched me was like all three moments in one.  Every inch of me felt right.  I felt elevated.  I could feel his body shaking against mine, like he was totally filled with joy and anticipation.  I felt like I whimpered as his mouth passed against the exposed skin of my neck.  It was by no means anything other than him trying to get closer, but just the feel of his breath against my skin was enough to know he was right there with me - in the same mindset.  

      Damn.  He called me ‘mouse’ and I lost it.  All of the emotions struck like a tide. His lips met mine.  My chest swelled with a pain of need and want and lust and most of all love.  Love that was passionate and greedy.  Love that was consuming.  Love that was nurturing and unquestioning.  Love that was his. 

     I heard his name being called.  I knew I was in the final seconds of whatever this was.  I did not want to let go.  My spirit tried to reach out and cling to him as he had to continue to work.  But the need for him to stay was shared between us.  I could see it in him - he did not want to go.  I touched his face, brushing away tears for both of us.  They called for him again and a look flared in his features that I wasn’t sure if he was about to explode in rage or melt into me with need.  I knew I was stammering to get words out.  I always felt like his time was precious.  Never more so than in that rush that was beginning to tug at him.  I watched as he physically struggled against it.

      Three weeks.  He said three weeks.  I’ve waited nearly twenty years, what was three more weeks?  

     Rarely do I ever take advantage of tickets for events that we get for free through work.  However, that night, I was in a VIP box watching Jake strut around like a god.  Those few around me noted that he seemed different - lighter.  I did not move from my spot the entire time, watching him laugh and interact with his brothers and the crowd.  I wondered if he knew I was there.  I should have texted him, but I needed this for me.  The last little scrap to tear away and accept that the man that the whole damn stadium was screaming for was mine.

      Three weeks.  I needed to focus on getting the rest of my shit in place.  I was by no means quitting, but I was stepping up and through an opportunity that would allow much more flexibility and time away from the office.  I purchased a ticket to get to the Detroit show.  It was my whole focus.  He texted every night, while I answered every morning.  I wanted to drop everything and run to him.  Strange how things had changed.  I had spent so much time focused on the now - but I wanted that ‘now’ to be nothing but him.

      “I’m happy for you,”  Patrick admitted as I was carrying my bag out to set by the front door.  “You’ve thought this through.  This is what you want.”

      “It’s what I want,”  I replied as I rushed back to get my light trench coat from the back closet.  

      “It’s good to see you this happy, Y/n,”  he said with a grin.  “The girls are going to miss you fiercely.”

      “I won’t be leaving forever.  Just not around quite as much,”  I said as I made sure my ticket was waiting in my phone.  “And perhaps their favorite auntie will send them all sorts of shit from all over that will drive their daddy crazy.”

      He shook his head with a naughty look.  “You do and I’ll break each one before it gets into their hands.  They’re still young enough that I can open and censor anything that you send.”

      I laughed loudly.  The incident of the harmonicas, kazoos, and slide whistles still gets talked about years after the actual occurrence.  Or the slime-fest that Auntie Y/n promised and was met with unexpected consequences of it in the girls’ hair and staining outfits for days.  The glitter shooters.  The craft fairs that we would hold in Sidney’s living room were epic, but glue, beads and cutouts were not furniture friendly.  And best of all, at the end of it, I could kiss them all and walk away from the annoyed parents and happy children.  

      “Regardless, they’re going to miss their Sunday time with you,”  he said, his lips held tight.

      “I’ll miss you too, Patty,”  I said softly.  “But I’m not going far, or for that long.  We’ve got a lot to figure out yet.”

      He was nodding, but I knew he was just hiding what he wanted to say.  They were concerned for me.  Hell.  I was concerned.  I never threw anything to the wind like this.  Every step I made was measured and planned and had a direction that had an end goal in mind.  This whole time.  My goal for now however, was Jake.  My direction was him.  I said I was not one of those girls to drop everything for a man.  That was true.  I still wasn’t.  But I was to a point in my career that I could dictate my role and my projects. 

     “I love you,”  I said, coming to a stop in front of him.  “I’ve loved you since second grade when you told me that I had a booger on my forehead.  I love your family.  I love your kids.  Fuck if I miss much of that, right?”

      “Love you too, punkin,”  he whispered, tugging me close. 

      I was on the flight to Detroit when I saw that Jake texted a picture from the stage of Comerica Park.  My heart flooded with his words:  Tomorrow morning will be here in less than twelve hours.  He was counting down.  I had a car waiting for me at the airport that would take me to the hotel before dumping everything and running my ass off to get to the venue.  I had a ticket for one of the boxes, but also told Cody to expect me backstage.  He was a sweetheart about it, knowing that I was not going to be there to see him.  That ruse had been blown.  He just said that all my passes would be at the will-call window.  True to his word, everything was there.  

      I got a beer and tucked into my spot - on Jake’s side, overlooking the stage.  I could not hide the absolute joy that flooded my system as they hit the stage and the whole stadium exploded in sound.  I had no idea how long the tears were standing in my eyes, or how they started to trail my makeup down my cheeks, but I was ruined by the midpoint of the show.  Amidst blushed cheeks and racoon eyes, I ducked out of the box and could only hope that I was able to hide my mess until I got to the ladies room.  I could hear Jake commanding another solo and it was like reverberating off my bones as I tried to pull myself together.

     “Hey, honey, you all right over there?”  

     Fuck.  I was totally caught being overstimulated and over emotionally wrought in the fucking bathroom.  I was reaching for a wad of towels when the woman who was asking me my status came into view of the mirror.  My insides froze.  She froze as well before she quickly recovered.  I had seen pictures of his mother that he had shown me during our time in Duluth.  I had seen her at the exhibition for Clara, though from a far distance.  

     “Well, I’ll be,”  she said, her tone shifting as she moved to get me more towels.  “You’re Y/n if I’m not mistaken.”

     I bit into my lip trying to stall just long enough to catch my breath.  I had no voice to give her so I nodded.

     “Jake said that he would be flying to St. Paul the moment he came off stage,”  she replied with a small grin.  “Guess he won’t have to now.  It’s nice to meet you.  I’m Karen.”

      “Y/n,”  I said, as I met her gaze through the mirror.

      “So, I’ll ask again - you okay?”

      I sucked in a hard breath.  “Just having a moment.  I don’t normally do things like this, but…  Honestly.  I didn’t want to wait.”

      The smile that spread across her face was so like Jake’s in those quiet, over the top moments that he could barely hold himself together that it just caused all the emotions to rupture out of me all over again.  She hushed and cooed as she rushed to help once more.  I tried to warble out a thanks, but it just made things worse.  It started with a chuckle, then a laugh and landed in a sob that was not my own.  Karen had her own tears in her eyes as she wiped at her face.

      “You really do love my boy, don’t you,”  she sighed, as if just giving herself over to her own emotions.

      All I could do was nod my head and we both just blurted out in a shared moment of joy.  She was waving her hands wildly as she was trying to reign herself in.  A ray of light shot across her features as she froze.

      “I have an idea!”  she announced.  “I’m not sure how you were planning on reaching him, but I think we need to really do this right.  Wait… How were you going to surprise him?”

      “I have backstage access.  I was thinking about trying to meet him after-”

      A twinkle crossed her gaze. “You’re with me.”

      She wrapped her hand around my wrist and pulled me out of the restroom and down the walkway.  We rushed past the box that I was in and moved instead into one just beyond the barrier that read ‘No One Beyond This Point’.  She pushed open the door to reveal a near identical box that I was in, but this one was furnished with a sidebar filled with iced drinks and snacks.  There were about twenty people in the room, all were just visiting and watching every now and then.  This was the family.  I felt way out of place as Karen waved me towards the glass.

     “Hon,”  she called out as we approached three men that were tucked at the fore.  “Hon…”

      The moment the man turned to look at his wife, I knew it was Jake’s father.  The way he leaned into her and listened and reached for her…  Fuck.  It was all Jake.  The shy little smile.  The secret language that he was able to share with his wife was all on display.  His eyes turned to me and he was instantly on his feet.  

      “Wow, fancy meeting you here,”  he opened with a wide smile.  

      “We have to surprise Jake.  You in?”  Karen beamed as she wrapped her arm around her man.

      “Jake doesn’t like surprises,”  Kelly remarked, brows furrowed.

      “He’ll like this one,”  Karen stated with finality.

      I couldn’t help the spike of nervousness that invaded as my eyes turned towards the glass.  Jake was stomping across the front of the stage racing towards the encore.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but how awful would it be if his parents were ready to spring right into whatever was ahead for the two of us.  I listened to them banter about how Jake was so looking forward to seeing me - how he had gushed over how we seemed to be the proverbial ships passing in the night over and over.  I looked down as the spotlight dimmed across him before he stepped forward again to be awash in brilliant light.  The silver in his hair was a halo around him.  My heart thudded in my chest at the sight.  I was putting myself in his parents’ hands.  How the hell did this happen?  

We’re down to one last posting to wrap this lovely little story up.  See you next week!

@lvnterninthenight @doodle417 @luverleaver @jakesgrapejuice @fictional-duchess @milkgemini @positivegvfthings @songbirds-sweet @gretavanbitches @gardensgatedaisy @babyhoneygvfarchive @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @starcatcherc @loveisonaroll @jakesstarlight @reesetrippingthelight @builtby-gvf @ignite-my-fire @wetkleenex-gvf @gold-mines-melting @starsasone @mysticalstarcatcher @montenegroisr @takenbythemadness @way-to-go-lad @cal-a-bungaa @thewritingbeforesunrise @leftjudgeempathsuitcase @brokenbells11 @imborrowedshesblue @vanfleeter

[klbwriting]

For Love of Fiction

Part 3

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!plus size!reader

Warnings: none

Summary: You think too much and realize you have to talk to Jason

Notes: I am not sure if this is the end honestly. I keep thinking I'll be finished, but then I'm like but what if...? So there may be a part 4, this has no planning whatsoever (even less than my normal fics have) so I hope you're enjoying this and would anyone mind if I just kept going?

Taglist: soradragon (let me know if you want me to add you to this when/if a part 4 appears)

               You couldn’t get what Red Hood said out of your mind.  It was distracting.  You were writing another book, something for YA romance this time, wanting to see if you could, and the words ‘thanks for making me your muse’ kept floating around your brain.  He knew about your books, knew that he was your muse.  How?  Why would Red Hood read your books?  You supposed it wasn’t that surprising, a lot of people in Gotham read them.  Gotham wasn’t a great city to live in but the people were loyal to their own, they would have to be to bother staying in this shithole.  Maybe he had seen your book out and about when he wasn’t Red Hood, any bookstore or library had them.  Jason had even told you that he had been at the library when he…your mind froze.  Jason. 

               Jason who worked at night, Jason who was always tired, Jason who had money, enough to justify the amount of gear and tech that Red Hood would need, Jason who knew you called Red Hood your muse.  Not your inspiration, not your influence, not your favorite superhero, your muse.  Jason who had canceled dinner because of work.  Jason who was always so gentle with you, like Red Hood had been when he had touched your shoulder and checked in on you.  No way, you were crazy.  Then again, Jason was in incredible shape.  You had gone to the gym with him and one of his brother’s Dick, and they had taught you some self defense before sparring themselves, and they looked professional.  It was crazy, but you had to know.

               You debated calling Jason all day.  Would he even tell you?  Why would he tell you?  You had been seeing each other, casually, for only two months, you had had a total of one actual date and various text dates and calls.  Why would he confess what was probably his deepest secret to you?  You called him anyway.

               “Are you mad about dinner?” Jason asked as soon as he answered.  He had canceled via text and figured you must be fuming, but he had already been in gear, heading towards a robbery near you.  Its why he even stumbled on the Joker’s minions in that diner.  He had heard a call to the cops, intercepted by Oracle, and she had sent him the information since he was closest.  When he arrived, he had been shocked to see you, and so angry.  How dare anyone threaten you again?  He had probably concussed those guys with that extra punch he gave them.  Then he had to say something to you, find out if you were ok, not anyone else.  He sighed.  The muse line had been a bit stupid too, you were probably so confused.  Either that or you were giddy that Red Hood knew who you were, about your books. 

               “No, I’m not mad about dinner, but I did want to see you and I have some free time today around lunch?  I know you’re tired but wanted to see if maybe we could meet?” you asked.  You sounded nervous.  He wondered why you were nervous.  Did he make you nervous?  Was he not obvious enough about how much he liked you?  How much he loved talking to you and spending any precious time he could with you?

               “I would love to meet you, where?” he asked.  You said the name of a diner, the same one from the night before.  He swallowed a little, wondering if you had actually gotten your dinner last night.  He assumed that’s why you had gone out in the first place.  Maybe the attack had left you without dinner and you just wanted to go back and get whatever you had been craving.  Couldn’t have anything to do with Red Hood. 

               “Its just a diner, so if you don’t want to go there, we can go somewhere else,” you said, wondering why he didn’t say anything.  Were you too obvious about why you wanted to meet at that diner?  Ugh, this man was scrambling your brain, and you loved it.  You were feeling so many things you hadn’t felt in years, all of that plus the confusion on the Red Hood issue, it was a lot for one person to take.

               “No, it sounds good, I love diners,” Jason said quickly, then wanted to smack himself.  ‘I love diners’? What the fuck was wrong with him?  He heard you giggle on the other end of the phone and that made him feel a little better.  You discussed details and he agreed to meet you. 

               You were nervous, waiting at the diner early, typing what you could for your book, trying anything to stop watching your phone as time ticked by.  You were trying to think of what to say, but didn’t want anything rehearsed, you wanted to be direct, but not sound crazy or accuse him of anything.  How could one person cause this much confusion and stress and yet the very thought of him made your heart flutter and your stomach twist into sweet knots?  It was the most wonderful and infuriating thing in the world. 

               You heard the ding of the door and looked up, seeing that familiar shock of white hair and those eyes that were perfect and then he smiled, and all your planned words flew out your head.  He walked over and sat down, and you hurried to close your laptop, hoping you remembered to save the two words you had written. 

               “Working on that new book?” he asked, taking the menu.  He slid his hand over and gently took your hand.  He was a touchy-feely person you could already tell, loved feeling your skin against his and it did not help your focus on the task at hand.  You nodded, pretending to be engrossed in the menu even though you knew exactly what to get, what you always got.  The waiter came over, not the same from last night, and took your orders and headed away and you swallowed.

               “Can I ask you something?” you asked.  He nodded, thumb rubbing gently circles on the back of your hand and you almost lost your nerve.  “Why did you cancel last night?  You said work, but what happened?”  His thumb froze and you saw his panic in his eyes for just a moment before he smiled, rolling his shoulders and he moved his hand to link your fingers, thumb now near your palm.

               “There was a break in,” he said.  “I had to assist.”

               “The other security guy couldn’t handle it?” you asked, pushing the subject.  Once again panic in his eyes.  He was scrambling for a story.  You observed, wrote about what people did, how they acted.  Had long ago started making up lies for Red Fox to tell Layla about himself and what he did before she had known about him.  You could see all the signs of Jason trying to cover for last night.  It was either he was Red Hood, or he was seeing someone else, and despite this arrangement being casual you really hoped he was Red Hood.  You could handle that, but him maybe falling for someone else after you already had fallen for him was too much. 

               “It was more than one person, they wanted backup to search the place,” he said, voice uneven.  He swallowed, wondering what this was really about.  He didn’t have a lot of people that didn’t know his secret, never let anyone close, he wasn’t used to this kind of questioning.  He could tell you didn’t believe him, but he couldn’t tell exactly what emotions you were feeling.  Anxiety?  Hurt?  Hope?  They were all moving through your eyes.  Had you figured him out?  Figured out he was Red Hood? 

               “Tell me the truth, please,” you said softly.  He stared at you.  How could he tell you the truth?  He swallowed hard.  “Were you seeing someone else?  If you were just tell me before I start feeling more for you than I already do, I don’t want a broken heart.”  He felt himself breath out slowly.  He could handle this.  He didn’t realize that you would think he was seeing other people, but he knew how to calm your nerves.  Jason smiled softly at you, bringing your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles.  You melted a little, smiling at him.

               “I was not seeing someone else; I promise, it really was work, I went in helped contain the scene and catalogued the missing items, lots of fancy science words,” he said.  You nodded.  You didn’t believe a word.  You knew he wasn’t seeing someone else, that was true, but that left the lie of work, which left the unsaid truth.  Jason was Red Hood.  You were sure of it.  You weren’t going to tell him you knew; you would keep it to yourself, but now you at least could understand him canceling dates last minute. 

               “O good, I didn’t want to be the only one feeling this way,” you said.  Jason smiled and shook his head.  “So tell me, why does Bruce Wayne’s kid work night security at CADMUS labs?”  He chuckled and sighed.

               “Me and Bruce had a falling out several years ago, right when I finished school.  We’re all good now but I got the chance to be on my own, make my own way in life, and found that I couldn’t do police work, I had a criminal record as a kid, but I could do security work.  It may not be as helpful, but I can protect things like the chemicals and inventions at CADMUS, keep them out of the wrong hands, some of the stuff there could be dangerous,” he said.  You nodded, listening to him talk more about work.  It was a very well thought out cover story you had to admit. 

               “Sounds to me like you’re a couple steps down from a hero yourself, and we know how much I love a hero,” you said, giving him a smile.  Jason smiled back but saw it in your eyes.  You didn’t believe his story for a second.  “Maybe you’ll be my next muse.”  The way you said muse, the way your eyes lit up a little bit, he didn’t know how, but you knew.  You knew about Red Hood, knew his secret.  But you didn’t say anything, didn’t confront him.  You were letting him keep it, tell you himself when he wanted.  He hoped this meant you wouldn’t tell anyone else.  “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep your identity secret,” she said, making Jason hold his breath.  “In my books,” she finished.  He let out a breath and nodded. 

               “Just, if I tell you I got called into work and had to cancel?” he said. 

               “I’ll be sure to stay home, order in dinner maybe, or just always have pizza rolls on hand,” she said.  Jason let out a breath.  That he could live with, she was smart enough to just stay home.

[muuurder]

I’m coming here after your gf’s propaganda, hi >:D

Could I ask about Modern AU (Gaalee)? *O*

(also while looking for your AO3 account in your carrd, I found out that the link is not working!! Just so you know è_é (there is just the “s” missing gbizeubguebgz))

Hehehehe You mayyy. Also thank you!! I'll be real honest I am pretty sure I have one fic on my AO3 Account.

Okay so this specific Au I have plans on writing a fic about but I do not have it written out just a loose plot with elements in my noggin.

But essentially it focuses on trans! Gaara raised in modern day with a conservative cop father.

After the death of his mother, things proved to get harder and his father began to dive deep into his work. Only time he's present is when he's home usually drinking. He's not exactly a good cop by any means. He has a temper and he has his stern beliefs and he quite literally hates his fucking kids, but he especially hates gaara who has always been tomboyish, always the reminder of his failures, and ever the stubborn mule even when he is trying to stay out of Rasa's way. Gaara was never one to listen, he always marched to the beat of his own drum anyways.

After a particularly nasty incident where Rasa went a little too far on the job, Rasa picked up the three kids moved them closer to the city (coughcough Konoha.) Gaara ended up getting involved with drugs, and between the dangerous mix of everything he becomes a spiralling mess as per usual, targeting anyone who breathes at him wrong or he percieves as a threat of sorts. On one ocassion, Our beloved Rock Lee (star track runner, i'm debating on making i'm former head of boy scouts or just a kid who goes to a dojo that Gai totally owns.) ends up getting involved for justice reasons (He's autistic your honor.) and it ends with Gaara beating him with a lead pipe. Obviously charges are pressed and Gaara is sent to a psychward and given community service instead of going to juvie (I do not know if this is even fucking possible tbh but I like it.) While Gaara is in the psychward ( I am so sure there is another reason why he got sent there but w/e I can't remember rn), His father dies in a shoot out with a notorious criminal in the area (wonder who that could be.) Leaving these kids slapped into foster care while things are figured out as Temari isn't old enough to care for her three brothers. Yashamaru works to get custody of these kids in time but in the meantime, it's rough and Gaara is picked up from the psychward not by family. He is picked up by a foster care agent (social worker???) and he is made to serve out his community service. There he meets Naruto, who is also doing customer service for vandalism and they do fight and Gaara forms a baby crush. There is alot that happens around here and then there is a time skip essentially where things change once Yashamaru gets custody of these kids and they find a new normal with a crusty white dog. Gaara gets a safe space to heal and explore who he is.

The plot really begins picking up down the line where essentially gaara post moving away from the city with yashamaru back in their home town, He decides to move back to pursue college. he wants to get into therapy to try to reach others like him and Naruto integrates him into his friend group (or tries rather Gaara is pretty stand offish even if kankuro and temari have done so easily) and Gaara keeps fucking running into Rock lee against his will. Lots of healing, lots of forced proximity for healing reasons. Slow burn. It's a very loose plot I'm still fleshing out. We may see nods to the Moss because I wish I was joking here, That fic altered my fucking brain chemistry. I am still figuring it out. I do know that the main relationships i plan on showing/mentioning are: Gaalee, kakagai ofc, shikatem, kankiba, the polycule themselves narusakusasu, nejiten, hinata is a lesbian idc, and so is ino also perhaps past sakuino I am really excited for this fic ngl but I want to like do everything justice so I don't want to publish till i finish rewatching naruto and refreshing everything so I can figure out what elements I want to bring in and the like. Ngl y'all can ask more about this fic I have thoughts of scenes that would be so cute. HEHEHEHEH THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

[gingersforeverbox]

Coffee and revelations

A/n: I'm not gonna lie y'all, this piece was hard for me and offered a new challenge, but I finally got it done! I honestly don't know if I will keep doing platonic requests, so please consider this my first and possibly my last. Anyways, thank you for the patience, and I hope y'all enjoy. Word count: 2.1k

warnings: panic attacks, formerly toxic home-life, canon-typical swearing and technology, and Nathan ofc

How you got the position of being the assistant of a multibillionaire ‘tech messiah’ (Nathan’s words, not yours) is routinely up to debate, but the best and most plausible answer is that you are the only one in a long list of assistants that was actually able to put up with said messiah for more than a month or two.

 Your first weeks out in the middle of nowhere deep in the forests of Alaska were… rough to say the least. It was a constant barrage of papers and virtual conferences, emails and phone calls, and of course a boss that didn’t necessarily hover over your shoulder so much as he simply reminded you of his eternal presence using the over-coms and cameras. Thankfully there was only one or two in your room that you quickly dismantled using a handy-dandy pocket knife that was spare from the helicopter on the two and a half hour ride to the drop off point. Why Nathan insisted on being so dangerously isolated from people, you’ve yet to fully uncover. You had your theories of course, most likely something to do with the brains of the man, along with a splash of gifted kid problems that you’d recognized in others your age before you moved out to be surrounded by nature, Nathan, and the machines he cooks up in his labs. 

Over time, you began seeing Nathan for who he was: a troubled man who is too smart for his own good. Yet the urge to call this man ‘Dad’ infects you everyday, whether it's when you’re asking for your next assignment or explaining your stance on why Star Trek was so important to the influence of modern technology. He was just oddly comforting to be around when he was being decent and not a total asshat. Some people may insist that they aren’t cut out for parenting, and that may be true for some, but Nathan comes by it almost naturally. Even if he may still consider girls to be odd creatures, he still respects the fact that you’re just some teen who happened to get stuck with him while furthering your career. 

Deep down, Nathan knows that he has a soft spot for his young assistant. He can tell in moments of pride for you and your work, or when you actually beat him in an argument, or even when you silently leave him a glass of water and a pain killer at his desk for his hangover the morning after his drinking episodes. He knows he’s not the best boss or role model, but he appreciates your time and presence more than he cares to admit.

With the buzz of the over-coms, Nathan’s tired voice comes alive in your windowless  room. 

“Y/n. Coffee. Stat,” he demands bluntly.

You grumble as you slide off the bed, something about being capable of holding meetings in other countries on behalf of the sarcastic grump of a man only to be interrupted by a snarky ‘What was that?’ to float through the room. 

“On my way,” you sigh just loud enough for the microphone(s) to pick up.

Kyoko is silent as usual when you pass her in the hallway, on the way to the kitchen for the coffee that was already filling from the prepped machine. 

She always puts you on edge. You logically know that she is just an extremely fancy AI that Nathan had made at some point in his isolation, but she just seemed so damn real. She looked just like a normal- albeit very beautiful- woman, perfect down to the real hairs on her head that Nathan had claimed to place individually while building her. Due to that being one of the first things that Nathan had ever said to you when you came to the facility, you could never quite tell if he was being serious or not, but you wouldn’t put it past him to be so meticulous with “his things”. 

Whilst distracted by the slender form of the AI as you round the corner of the kitchen counter, your depth perception fails you, and causes you to stub your toe and trip around the corner. 

With a tumble, your body falls in slow motion. A short gasp leaves your throat as you watch the mug of coffee shatter into pieces and chunks, coffee splattering across the tiles of the facility.

Despite being alright from the fall, something snaps in the back of your mind. It’s like a dam of worries and fear over the response of your gruff boss, cracks- pouring out, along with the tears that sting your eyes. 

You’re unaware of how long you lay on the floor of the kitchen, alone… until you aren’t. 

“Hey, woah woah woah, kid, you okay?” Nathan questions as he stoops down to gather your arms and inspect them for glass. Your eyes are glassy with tears as your limp arms are turned and prodded by Nathan's surprisingly warm hands. 

“I’m so sorry, I was just trying to get your coffee, I promise I-” your words fell out of your mouth despite your throat tightening, desperately trying to choke down your tears. The cries soon turned into short and shallow breaths, panic seeping into your bones as the stress of Nathan being upset with you began to bare down on your shoulders. 

“Hey, stop breathing like that kid, you’re hyperventilating.” Nathan slowly moves his hands to your shoulders, trying to ground you to reality and prevent you from spiraling. Nathan’s solid hands gently squeeze in a slow pulsing rhythm before he slides his hands back down your arms and softly folds them over your chest like a mummy in a sarcophagus. 

“Can you start patting your chest with your hands one at a time for me, kid?” Nathan mirrors you with a neutral expression then demonstrates exactly what he wants you to do with a small nod of encouragement. As you watch the man gently pat his chest with his hands folded upright, you slowly begin to get in sync with his demonstration, your breath slowly becoming more regulated. Your mind, however, still felt like it was reeling. The feeling of your heart rate calming down was only a small comfort whilst overanalyzing the situation- particularly Nathan’s response. 

‘Why is he staring like that? Does he always look like that or is something different? He thinks I’m a disappointment, why can’t I just do what he wants? It’s just like home all over again, I’m so tired. I just want him to approve, that’s all I-’

“Hey,” he interrupts gently. “Stop thinking for a minute, everything is going to be fine. It was an accident, it’s just a cup.” Nathan continues to show the soft patting motion he is guiding you through, although a twinge of worry flares in his dark eyes. Noticing that the self soothing isn’t helping as much as anticipated, he opts for a different approach. 

As you sit silently, chaos reigning above all else in your mind, you feel soft arms wrap around your shoulders; Nathan quietly pulls you into his chest whilst making a rocking motion a few paces away from the glass filled area. 

“Are you physically hurt, Y/n?” 

A small shake of your head is felt against his chest where your head is resting softly, a soothing hand petting the back of your head. With a small sigh of relief, Nathan softly pulls you away for a moment to check your face for any deception, pleased to find none. 

“As long as you’re not hurt, that’s what matters, okay?” He states with his typical stone expression as he waits for confirmation that you understand him.

Tears well up in your eyes once more as you quietly nod up to the man who then pulls you back into his warm embrace without a word. 

“Thank you, dad.” 

Shocked at your sudden revelation of your image of him, he feels a new emotion wiggling under his chest. It felt warm and tingly inside, a feeling that Nathan quickly identifies as pride, along with something new: paternal affection. He always knew that he wouldn’t have children any time soon (unless it’s one of the nights where he is drunk and thinking about the possibility that he has a child somewhere in the world due to his relations with various women), yet in that moment the truth becomes glaringly obvious. 

He got a kid the first time you stepped foot in the facility.The first time you impressed him with your efficiency in your work. The first time you went to him for help with an assignment, when he had snapped at you for needing help in the first place, which led to him drinking himself to sleep in his office that night. The next morning he may have finished your work for you, leaving it on your desk once the hangover subsided, but he never acknowledged it.

Only now is he realizing how badly he fucked up.

While Nathan’s revelation hits him like a ton of bricks, causing him to feel another uncommon emotion for him- remorse. Guilt. 

“I-” he hesitates, as if mentally psyching himself up for the next words to fall from his lips, “I’m sorry, kid,” he mutters. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you, I know I fucked up,” he bluntly admits. 

At his blunt yet sincere tone, you pause in his arms, tilting your head to look up to the thickly bearded man. 

“You’re really not mad at me?” you ask hesitantly, unsure of his response. 

“No, kiddo. It was just a cup, and you could never make me genuinely mad,” he reassures with a soft shake of his head as he continues to hold you close, slowly swaying both of you in a comforting manner. 

With a gentle nod of acceptance on your behalf, a comfortable silence fills the air surrounding the kitchen of the facility. 

“Y’know,” the man speaks up in a slightly more gentle tone than he usually takes with you, “I think you’re doing a good job. You put up with me and my bullshit, you’re a smart cookie, and you even like Star Trek,” he lists with a small yet fond smile. 

“You couldn’t get better in my eyes if you tried, kid. I’m not gonna hurt you, and I will do everything I can to make sure nothing else will for that matter. I was more worried about you being hurt than the stupid cup of coffee, goofball,” he grins in a fatherly tone. 

In return, an involuntary smile breaks across your face as you both continue to sit on the kitchen floor. The worries surrounding the man you feel so attached to seem to fall away slowly at his reassurance and warm embrace. Sure, it may take some time to get used to Nathan’s new and more caring nature, but it’s a good change- a great one. 

Another comfortable silence fills the air around the both of you as you wordlessly express your affections with a tighter hug. 

With a clink of ceramic, you both look up from your embrace to see Kyoko gathering the shards of the mug with a dustpan and a cloth- always a dutiful machine. The man beside you scoffs softly in amusement before looking back to you. “Well, I’d say that’s enough barista duty for you. Kyoko seems capable. Besides, I want you to come take a look at some code with me downstairs,” he shrugs softly. “If you feel up for it, of course,” he adds in a rare moment of kindness. 

You pause for a moment, playfully humming and looking up to the high ceilings of the facility before looking up to his dark brown eyes. 

“Can you teach me some stuff about coding?” you ask with a warm smile gracing your features. 

“Duh, that’s the point, dude,” Nathan chuckles fondly as he gently encourages you to stand from the floor of the kitchen with a soft sigh. He offers you a hand to keep you steady as you stand to your full height before walking over to a cupboard and filling a glass of water for you. 

“Drink this first, though,” he orders in a blunt manner, “You cried a bunch and you need to hydrate,” he explains thoughtfully. 

With a nod of acceptance, you take the glass and begin to sip on it as the man guides you past Kyoko- who has finished cleaning up the mess- towards the elevator with a gentle hand on your upper back to guide you, caringly. As you reach the elevators and make your way down to the lab, you both talk about anything and everything that comes to mind, both of you seeming to enjoy the feelings of closeness that has brought you together as a guardian figure and as someone worth looking out for. 

The rest of the day is filled with playful jokes, lighthearted banter, and smiles (even from Nathan); a beautiful change to a growing bond of care for one another.