#the ethics of their behavior are besides the point

[tomwambsgans]

tomgreg is not "i could fix him" nor "i could make him worse" but "i could make him feel like a real person." from both ends.

[aphroditelovesu]

The Lost Queen - I

— summary: You woke up near a military camp without remembering how and why you got there, you didn’t understand why they were dressed like ancient Greeks, all you knew was that you weren’t safe and you needed to get out of that place as soon as possible. Too bad for you that you found yourself attracting unwanted attention from the Macedonian King and he won’t let you go so easily.

— genre: yandere, dark!au.

— warnings: time travel, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mention of torture, kidnapping, angst, fluffy (very rarely), dub-con, possibly smut.

— pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader, yandere!generals x female!reader

— word count: +1,592.

— tag list: @devils-blackrose, @faerykingdom , @hadesnewpersephone

— the lost queen series masterlist.

Chapter 1

''This is so annoying.''

You looked up only to find your friend glaring at you angrily. You cleared your throat and asked her, ''What's so annoying?''

''All of this!'' She snarled, pointed at the history books on the table. You were in the library, studying about Alexander the Great at the request of your history teacher. Your friend complained, she hated history class and the teacher. You didn't hate the classes, but you didn't like Mr. Sheffield. He was so arrogant and brazen. You were sure he was getting involved with a student, but you had no proof.

Yet.

''I know you're angry but there's no need to take it out on the poor books, May.'' You scolded her and picked up the book she had nearly torn up in her anger. ''Besides, if you screw up this book, you'll have to buy another one.''

''I don't care about that book!'' May snarled and pulled your hands towards her, ''(Y/N), please tell me that you found something rotten about Mr. Sheffield to get rid of him for good?''

You rolled your eyes. Had this. You've kind of become a spy in the meantime, trying to find something about your terrible history teacher and get rid of him. It wasn't ethical, you knew, but you'd do anything to get rid of that bastard. You already had noticed him looking at your legs shamelessly when you wore a skirt or shorts.

''I'm looking for. It's not that easy, you know? I'm not a professional spy.'' You grumbled and went back to your reading. You were reading about the Battle of Issus and its importance in the conquest of the Persian Empire.

May mumbled something unintelligible and you patted her neck comfortingly.

''Here, can we continue our reading, please? We have a work about this topic and I want the highest grade.''

''You're such a nerd, (N/N).'' You and her both laughed and she went back to trying to focus on the open book in front of her. Each was reading about different battles to get the job done faster. As you read about the Battle of Issus, May read about  the Granicus.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you finally removed your sneakers and could lie down on your bed. The day was long and exhausting and you just wanted to be able to sleep until you became one with your bed.

But unfortunately you couldn't. You had to go to the market at your mother's request to buy some vegetables. The thought made you more tired but you were a good daughter and for that, just for that, you got up and went to the bathroom for a much needed shower, as you had been sweating all day due to the infernal heat it was doing.

''Ugh.'' You grumbled after getting out of the shower. You had taken a little longer than you normally would, but you felt so tired and the hot water helped to relax your sore muscles. It was a shame you couldn't just fall asleep

You dried your body and put on some comfortable clothes and put your sneakers back on. You took your phone and your headphones, putting some upbeat music on Spotify and put your phone inside the small bag that had the money to buy the vegetables at the market. As soon as you left the house, you closed the door and started walking towards your destiny.

The music was the only thing that enveloped you and you didn't notice someone calling you until they grabbed your shoulders, startling you.

''What the hell?'' You mumbled and looked at whoever had stopped you. You frowned as you didn't know the older man who glared at you sinisterly.

You felt disturbed by the man's piercing gaze on you, ''Hm... Hi?''

He didn't answer you and continued to watch you intently. This was getting creepy and bizarre.

''Uh... Since you're not going to say anything, I... I'll go...'' You were about to put your earphone back on, when he grabbed your right arm. ''Let me go, now.''

He glared at you and let go of your arm slowly, you pulled your arm back when he let go. He spoke, in a low voice but you heard it loud and clear: ''The shadows of fate surround you... The world will never be the same for you, girl.''

''What?'' You asked but he looked at you for the last time, smiled weakly and turned his back, leaving you standing on the sidewalk and thinking about the man's sinister words. ''Must be just another crazy dude...'' You shook your head and decided to continue going to the market.

You ignored the squeezing of your heart inside your chest, ignored the feeling that something was wrong. And that was your first biggest mistake.

You left the market with bags in your hand, still thinking about the mysterious man's words. What was it? Why was this bothering you so much? And why did you feel a tightness in your heart as if something was wrong? You shrugged, deciding to ignore it all and go home as soon as possible, but first you had one last place to go. At a bookstore, you wanted to buy a new book that you heard had arrived and you felt very anxious about reading it. As if you have to read it.

You smiled brightly when you arrived at the store, opening the door to find hundreds of books. You put away the bags you were holding and headed to the history book section. For some reason, ever since you've read about the Battle of Issus, you've found yourself wanting to learn more about Alexander the Great. You could look up wikipedia, but you'd rather read a book.

Approaching the shelf, you found the book you were looking for, The Life of Alexander the Great, and opened it to flip through. You decided to take it and paid for the book at the register, picking up your bags and putting away the new book. You were eager to start reading it.

As soon as you got home, you packed your groceries and ran with your book to your room, changing clothes and putting on your favorite pajamas, lay down on the bed and opened the book to the first chapter. Your eyes read each word eagerly and you frowned as you read the next paragraph:

''Alexander was married with a woman of an unknown origin and he was deeply in love with her and devoted, according to sources at the time. Her name was (Y/N)..."

And why did your head begin to throb painfully? You tried to stay awake, but your eyes were too heavy and the headache made it worse. Maybe a nap... You bookmarked the page you left off and placed the book on the corner table and allowed yourself to drift off to sleep, your body in desperate need of a rest.

When you opened your eyes, you were no longer in your room.

You tried to get up but your body still ached, you groaned in pain as your head throbbed again. What was that?

Finally managing to sit up, you looked around and felt dread creep through your body. You didn't know this place, much less the people who watched you cautiously and suspiciously. Your eyes widened when you noticed the ancient greek armor and swords in their hands and even more when you saw the symbol of Ancient Macedonian. Vergina Sun.

You recognized the symbol from the history books. This was a dream, it had to be, but if it was a dream, why did you feel pain and feel like you knew these people who looked at you like an alien. And you felt embarrassed when you noticed that you were still in your pajamas, dressed completely differently from the men who were looking at you.

''What are you doing?'' A loud authoritative voice echoed and you cringed even more. First, the person who was speaking approached the group of men along with another slightly taller man and second, why did you understand them? It wasn't the language you spoke, you knew that as it sounded nothing like your mother tongue but much more different. Greek, you noticed and that left you even more perplexed.

You didn't understand greek as far as you knew.

''What is that? Who are you?'' The man dressed more formally than the others, asked looking at you curiously. He had dark blonde hair and his eyes were two colors, blue and brown. He wasn't very tall, but you felt small with the way he looked at you. He seemed to be the leader, you noticed.

You looked like a fish out of water and one of the men laughed and said, ''Looks like she's lost her tongue, Alexander.''

Alexander... You widened your eyes even more and walked away from the grip of the man who was holding you. No... It couldn't be...

You had read a book about him... And his appearance...

By god... You were face to face with Alexander the Great.

— lady l: I hope you liked the first chapter. This was her introduction to the ancient world and the next few will see (Y/N)'s interaction with Alexander and the others.

It has not yet been proofread and may contain errors, so I apologize for that. Until the next chapter my loves!

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

The generational abuse in Moral Orel

I literally watched this show a few weeks ago and made it my whole entire personality lol

So one of my favorite messages in Moral Orel is defiently based on how having kids when you are still dealing/repressing trauma is never a good idea because you will eventually pass on that trauma to your kids, with or without intention.

I mean, besides the absolutely beautiful lesson about how family shouldn't be something made out of obligation but out of love, the latter message sticks out to me quite a lot.

For starters we have Bloberta and Clay, In the outsiders eyes they may seem like the best parents ever, but as a viewer, we are aware of how god awful they are at parenting.

Blorberta reduces her responsabiltiy as a mother to cooking, cleaning, and briefly attending to her childrens physcial needs.

She is barley attentive to her childrens emotional needs and always ignores them and tries to brush off their emotions to feel better about her own self.

Another thing is that although shes physically there, she isn't actievely present in her childrens lives and is always in the background.

Orel never goes to her for guidance, and although that could be rooted in misogony another main reason is because she dismisses Orel constantly, telling him to go tell father or to go pray to God instead because shes busy cleaning.

Orel naturally has heavily been accostumed to not go to his mother for help unless it deals with food, clothes or messy rooms.

Then theres Shapey, who is obviously heavily neglected. His "bad" behaviors are manifested because of that constant negligence, she never once taught him anything and she will never bother to do so.

Shes always throwing Shapey around to Orel, making Orel the responsible one for Shapeys un-ethical behavior instead of realizing the reason he acts this way is because of the lack of an adult authoritive figure.

Most of her interaction with her kids are based on her giving them lunches, cleaning their room or when she lightly reprimands her kids when they get in the way of her cleaning.

Bloberta is a cold, cruel and emotionally distant mother...but why is that exactly?

Well, we can sort of blame the enviorment around her. Women in society, especially in a very religious society, are only respected when they are seen as "useful".

In Moralton, its clear that a womans worth is based on their usefulness for the people around them, ESPECIALLY their husbands and kids.

This very warped viewed on womanhood caused Bloberta to believe that the only right way to be a mother is just to be helpful enough in a physcial way, she never learned about the importance of emotionally nurturing her kids because in her eyes, thats the own kids job to do.

But the enviorment around her wasn't the only reason as to why shes a god awful parent, lets take a look at her family background.

Bloberta grew up with 3 siblings, and for some reason, her mother considered Bloberta to have an unimportant and neutral role in the family.

In turn, Bloberta felt useless, unloved and unwanted. The only person in the family who tried to help Bloberta was her dad, but even he couldn't stomach connecting with her unless he was drunk enough to do so.

So anyways, she's dealing with all this internalized urge to be of use in her own house.

Her decision to settle down with Clay was flat out obviously not out of love, but out of a need to be percieved as wanted.

It was both for her own personal need and to finally succeed in societal image's standards.

She also seems to be someone who cares a whole lot about her looks. She cares about them to the point she doesn't let anyone see her messy hair, baggy eyes, and lack of makeup. Including her own family.

She doesn't feel comfortable enough to show her true self to her own family. She keeps up an image even with her own blood.

Clay obviously never loved her from the beggining so she starts looking for external love aswell.

Which is why she cheats on Clay with Danielle and seeks sexual attention from Dr. Potters Wheel.

So all in all, she is basically seen as an extention to her husband and kids, which causes her to feel well...numb.

This numbness eventually is what makes her to start actively self harm. She feels absolutely nothing for her husband and kids besides this socital need to be seen as a good wife and mother.

One can argue that she does care for her kids, but it's not deep care, it's out of duty.

Although Orel can be naive, he does subconciously take in that her mother is never there in his personal life. In the episode "movie primere" Bloberta is only mentioned twice, because she has never tried to gain any type of connection with her kids.

Orel also admits that Stephanie (a peeson he JUST met) radiates more kindness than his own mother.

The reason she never reached out for her kids in an emotional sense was because no one ever did that with her as a kid, she doesn't know how to do it, she doesn't know how to deal with her own kids emotional needs because she herself has a looot of repressed urges and stress.

She doesn't bother to deal with her childrens pain because shes too busy trying to repress her own.

So thats the reason Bloberta is a god awful mother... Is it justified? Of course fucking not!!! But its totally okay to be able to sympathize and understand her.

Now we have Clay... Boy this is going to be a ride.

Also Clay's parenting towards Shapey and doesn't fully count, they aren't actually his kids. Is the way he neglects Shapey okay? Hell no but we can't expect him to care for him when he struggles to be attentive to his actual son.

Unlike Bloberta, Clay is way more present in Orel's life than she ever is, and although this should be considered a good thing, theres many factors that say the contrary.

Orel's almost-instict reaction when he wants advice is "gee... I have to ask dad!" that includes even asking him during unreasonable times, for example, when hes sleeping or when it's waaay to early in the morning.

This gives us an understanding that Orel trusts his father to guide him.

Without context, that's the sweetest thing ever until we realize Clay constantly spanks, gives hypocritcal lectures and constantly tries to drain the natural curiosity in Orel.

His way of connection through Orel is through scolding him, through reprimanding him and through physical abuse (well—Clay doesn't consider it physcial abuse but we all know damm well that it is).

He sometimes gives little pats in the head or puts his hands on his shoulder as a small way of normal parental physical reassurance but thats about it.

As for emotional reassurance, it's very scarce.

Clay avoids any external conversations with his child unless it involved any sort of scolding or hypocritcal lessons.

He once openly admits he loves Orel but it was worded pretty interesting: "Oh Orel, I could never love you more! People only have a certain amount of love in them and im afraid I have to divide mine up between atleast a dozen people.... But remember son, I love you enough."

His argument here is that he loves too many people so he can't spend it all on Orel, but the true reason he can't fully love Orel is a much more sinister reason.

Let's talk about Clay's background shall we?

Clay grew up for 12 years very pampered by his mother. His father was much more stern and lacked much warmth but he still tried to be present for his son.

His mother made Clay believe that he was the most precious thing to her, until later Clay starts finding out about his mothers multiple miscarriages which causes him to have a full existencial crisis.

He wouldn't have existed if it weren't for the previous miscarriages.

This causes Clay to pull a really childishly cruel prank where he plays dead to worry his mother and father.

What Clay expected from this prank was to be reassured that no matter the previous miscarriages, he will always be loved by his mother the most.

Well... Lets just summarize that Clays mothet has a weak heart and in turn died of shook.

Ever since that incident his father blamed Clay for the death of his mother.

Arthur (clays dad) would hit him, and Clay started to view that as affection because thats the only fatherly acknwoledgement Clay ever got to know.

So Clay would purpously rile his father up so that he can hit him and give him the desperate fatherly attention he craved.

But Arthur noticed this, and instead of realizing how much he's fucked up his own childs perception of love, he completely stops paying attention to Clay, basically disowning him without ever kicking him out of the house.

So now we understand why Clay connects with his son through physical abuse, right? This was the only fatherly attention he ever got as a kid and he doesn't know what else he can do to show his kid love since he never got it himself.

And although this is an unpopular opinion, Clay really was trying to put an effort into being a good father. In "beforel Orel" he didn't talk to Orel because he was nervous about his parenting.

It was until he faced his father again which gave him the outmost confidence to parent Orel in a way that his own father never did.

His parenting skills are obviously the worst though lol.

Orel may have loved his father, but his subconcious feared him.

One time when Orel made a stopmotion he drew Clay as a scary wolf saying that his dad was made as a dog because "he's loyal and good." Orel understandably feared his father, I mean the only way he properly interacted with him was through his father hitting and scolding him.

Now, something important to consider is that Clay never wanted to get married, he confirms this in the episode of season 3 "help". He got manipulated in a marriage with Bloberta and it was too late to pull back.

His horrible marriage with Bloberta aswell as being tied to a family and job that he didn't actually want start to make him extremely miserable.

Which causes him to drown out all his pain with alcohol.

But funnily enough, alcohol only worsens his pain more.

In the nature p1 AND p2 episodes, we realize how much alcohol Clay consumes, which is honestly really disturbing.

So basically in those episodes, Clay takes Orel to a haunting trip, trying to continue the Puppington tradition (funnily enough, that tradition was cut short after Clay's mothers death).

Orel being a normal child, wasn't really keen on killing animals, so he was already quite nervous about the hunting trip.

When they arrive to the reserve, Clay is drinking and he doesn't stop, each time he drinks out of frustration that Orel hasn't killed any animal.

Orel gives up and doesn't kill anything, telling Clay that he isn't comfortable hunting with his him. He then proceeds to call him "too drunk" which in return makes Clay mad.

Clay proceeds to call Orel as pessimist by saying his cup is always half empty, which is ironic considering Orel is naturally one of the most positive characters in the whole series.

He then goes onto a rambling, confusing bright with "blight" and then admiting his own life is truly full of blight, he starts crying and then says how he hates himself.

Orel starts tearing up himself, never expecting to see his dad in such a state.

The bottle in his hands start yelling at him "WHY DO YOU QUIT WORKING ON ME?" implying that Clay would expect the alcohol to drown out the pain but instead amplifies it more.

He then starts rambling again, he is quite literally talking about women and how they force you into something you don't want and "squeeze things out of you."

I think the "women" he's proyecting on is defiently Bloberta. He didn't want a marriage, but he was manipulated and obligated into one anyway, and then public image caused them to force themselves into having a child.

Clay didn't want that, he didn't want to be tied down this way. He expected that having a family could make him feel alright, but that eventually quit "working on him" because it wasn't what he evidently needed.

His rant on women can also tie down to his own repressed homosexuality, which makes this all too sad.

Later on, Clay foolishly starts handeling his gun with no safety on and accidently shoots Orel in the leg.

Instead of apologizing he asks "what have you done?" and Orel responds "I got shot by you..." his passive sentence here gives us an understanding that he is still processing that his own dad shot him.

When Clay opens the first aid kit, he sees the rubbing alcohol and drinks it up instead of applying it on his son, which causes Orel to finally say "I hate you."

This was Orels moment of realization.

Clay being drunk and obviously dismissive of the power of Orel's words just brushes it off by saying "Hate away, sister. Hate away."

When Clay sobers up the next morning, he completely acts as if he didn't shot his son, not wanting to accept he hurt his son that way aswell as not wanting to accept the blame.

Orel also lied to Clay that day, telling him that Clay shoot the bear and not Orel himself, because he didn't feel like his dad was someone worth making proud. He wasn't worth it.

When they return home, Orel has a conversation with his mother asking her why she married dad in which Bloberta responds "why not?"

This has been Blorberta's whole thinking process ever since she met Clay, "he's an attractive man and I have to marry soon to prove my worth so why not?"

She never choose Clay out of love, but out of mere obligation and pressure.

When Orel tells her mom that when Clay drinks he changes, Bloberta finally confirms to Orel that he doesn't change, that its just his true nature coming out.

All those repressed emotions, toxic masculinity, societal pressure, labor stress, awful marriage, and the crumbling of his perfect image.

Thats Clay's true nature, how he feels about himself and how he deals with it is what makes him who he is.

Afterwards, we have an amazing episode called "Sacrifice".

This episode is the most self-awarness we will ever get from Clay.

So this takes place literally after the haunting trip, Clay overhears the previous conversation between Blorberta and Orel.

He then also finds out his wife has been desiring Dr. Potters Wheel. So he decides to drown all that out by going to a bar.

In this episode, Clay kickstarts into a series of alcohol induced rants.

He initally focuses on the term sacrifice, feeling as if he's sacrificing his own happiness for his kids.

Clay thinks that by economically supporting and lecturing his kids is enough to give them satisfaction. It's a really hypocritcal rant because although he does mantain the whole family, he also made his family life miserable by keeping his awful marriage with Bloberta and drinking alchol to drown his sorrows.

Aftee a whole series of events unfold...Clay's monolouge gets deep.

"maybe there was a jerkoff called Darwin after all and that you never acknowledged his existence, because you knew deep inside that you were really what you feared you were: Weak, and passive, and ultimately broken by the ones who were made the fittest. And then through your weaknesses you built up a poison, that poisoned others around you... That you love..."

He then starts tearing up when he says that, unable to truly finish the sentence. He ultimately knows that he destroyed a dynamic with the only person in the family that genuienly loved him.

He feels hurt, he feels torn, but the guilt won't make the bullet hole go away (literally).

I also have to mention that Clay wss desperately trying to poke at the people who were in the bar, expecting them to beat him up. He wanted to be beat up, to be proven that he is worth it, Clay used to measure his wortfulness over how well he parented Orel. But after the incident, he can't even feel slightly worth it, thats why he needs to be proven by others that he is.

But everyone leaves him alone, because he truly isn't worth it anymore. And he knows it.

It is also implied by Orel that Clay has hid away in his study for 6 months. He stayed away from Orel out of personal disgust and guilt, but refussing to change and take responsibility.

During Honor, we see Orel desperately trying to find a way to still honor his father, so reverend putty tells him to go to talk to someone who truly loves his dad to find out the reasoning behind it.

Orel then goes to Danielle.

Now Danielle was actually upset with Clay because he saw him kissing Censordoll.

He was hurt because well, he loves Clay and Clay would rather get physical with another woman for buisness issues over giving Danielle the actual love he feels for him. (once again, repressed homosexuality!!!)

Orel and Danielle basically hang out throughout the whole day, which causes Clay great jealousy and discomfort.

He then drags Bloberta and his two illegilimate kids to Danielle's home.

He burts through Danielle's door and tells him to stay away from Orel because.... "he's not yours I am."

Cats out of the bag now, am I right folks?

Sadly, thats not the case.

He immedietly brushes off what he said and hugs Orel, looking lovingly into Danielle's eyes.

"Oh how I miss you... Orel"

"I need you in my life... Orel"

"and I..."

He then pushes Orel away and walks towards Danielle, repeating "I love you" mulitple times but ends the last "I love you" with Orel's name. Still trying to shield his very obvious declaration of love.

Danielle was the only person that Clay actually loved that didn't involve manipulation, obligation, or mommy issues.

But of course, he screwed it up. It was too late.

Clay deprived himself of the arguably healthiest love he would ever have.

After this episode, we get a beautiful time skip

The time skip includes Orel finally marrying Christina.

Christina is someone that Morelton looks down upon because of her differing beliefs.

But Orel gives a damn about image, he loved Christina as a kid and always has.

In turn of marrying someone he truly loves, he had children he truly wanted with her.

Like the Reverend said "family is sometimes a group of people that are forced to live together but every so often, a miracle happens."

The miracle was Orel choosing his own life without the need of societal pressure. Orel genuienly marrying for love.

In the end scene, we see all the happy kids sitting with Orel while Christina sits next to him.

And in the back we see Clay and Blorberta, who grew old together and never divorced.

They are miserable and will always be miserable.

Orel, however? He learned not to follow into their footsteps.

He broke the chain. And I admire his braveness.

[cupcraft]

I've been having some thoughts lately and decided to put it in a long post during my lunch break.

Cc's are not and never will be your friend. It's normal to engage and feel parasocial to a degree with cc's but it's important ccs and yourself create the boundary of "we don't know each other and thus are not friends/etc." This is important of the cc, because a responsible cc is aware of their impact, aware of the power dynamic, and sets healthy boundaries for themself. It's important for you in order to stay safe and engage with a fandom and cc with respect and to maintain a healthy mindset.

It is also normal for fandoms to defend their cc TO A DEGREE, especially when comments against the cc affect other people (this is a simple way to say it, theres a lot of nuance to this pt). But, you should never feel the need or actually try to parent or speak for a cc. For example, people being queerphobic to Ranboo is fair to speak up against particularly because the queerphobia affects other members of the fandom. However, feeling like you must speak on behalf of ranboo, be their parent, or protect them at all costs from "evil ccs and fans" is not only against their express wishes but just isn't a healthy or normal way to engage with a cc.

Because if you don't engage healthily besides breaking any cc boundaries, and hurting yourself and mental health, you really can hurt other people. If you're engaging in fandom and cc fandoms especially to a point in which you create yourself an echo chamber of toxicity that seeks to harm anyone in your path that is unhealthy behavior and you need srs help and I mean that genuinely like you need to talk to a trained professional or support group.

Like it's not normal to hate all ccs and people who are not explicitly positive about your cc at all times now and forever. It's not normal to make excuses for widely acceptable bad actions to the point you harm those affected by said bad actions. It's not normal to view holding a cc accountable as "just being an anti/hater/jealous" as you should always leave room to be critical of the content you consume especially if it's from a real person with real actions. It's not normal to dislike those that dislike ur cc so much (cc or fans) to the point you dedicate your social media presence to sending death threats, doxxing, harassment, gory images, etc as well as spending the majority of your blog screenshotting and vagueing and cyberbullying people. It's not normal to feel as though your cc is an infallible perfect idol figure that is in desperate need of an army protecting them at all times where you hang on their every word to dictate all actions, opinions, and morals to the point you will change your entire personality and ethics system just to maintain any ounce of being uncritical of someone. In simpler words, you might want to be aware the line of parasocialism and crossing over into being like a member of a cult (not to say it actually is a cult, this is an analogy)

And you might say to this post "this is a vague" but I'd rather argue that if you feel like this post applies to you regardless if you're mcyt or another cc/celebrity/real person based fandom you might want to realize that you need to do srs self reflection and understand how you got here, who you've hurt to stay there, and what things you've sacrificed for someone you don't even know. This isn't just an mcyt specific fandom problem.

Because why I'm making this post is I feel like something needs to be questioned when we throw away our kindness, empathy, ethics, and compassion towards people just because they are any ounce a tiny bit little bit critical of something a cc did. And it would be easy to say the people willing to suibait/send threats/harassment/slurs/etc toward someone over a cc and be happy about it and own it are people who "just don't care and won't change". But I'd like to think they got there somehow you know that they weren't always the kind of person to justify that. And that doesn't mean they deserve anyone's forgiveness, but it does mean I have concern for that person I hope they genuinely get help and feel the full weight of what they've done all for 1 person that doesn't know them.

As always with everything, please add on via rb if want, correct me on anything, and send asks if you wish. Stay kind out there though ❤️

[frazzledsoul]

I think the crux of the matter in Rory going to Truncheon and making out with Jess is not that her main motivation was to see him and spend time with him (it was) or that she did put out plenty of signals that she was single and wanted something romantic to happen (she did) or that she was attracted to him and engaged in the kiss for a while before saying she couldn't let it go any further (she did) but that she involved him in a cheating scenario without his consent and she knows that this overrides his boundaries and his ethics because he let her know how much he hated it the last time she did it. The matter of her choosing to stay with Logan instead of leaving him for Jess is not really relevant here. Jess didn't want to be involved in this type of situation at all again, he lets her know this and that he deserves more respect than to be placed in that position again, and Rory acknowledges this right away and apologizes. Their dynamic is reversed, because now he's the aggreived one who's been hurt by her actions and Rory is the one who needs to regain his trust, instead of Rory half-heartedly defending him and often assuming the worst.

If Rory offered to leave Logan for Jess, I don't think he would have said no, but he was not asking her to leave and there is an open question of whether he'd even want her if she chose him at that point given her deception. That relationship would have a shitton of trust issues and it wasn't a good idea for either of them. She's still unstable, she still doesn't know what she wants, she's still cheating and really hasn't ever stopped. The fact that she chooses not to take it further isn't a judgment of Jess as a person or an indication that she doesn't care for him or isn't attracted to him. She's just not ready for him yet, and needs to grow up a little and rein in her more destructive behavior before she is.

Oddly enough, I do think that last drama-free year with Logan would have set her further down that path. She learned to control her temptations instead of giving in to them, to have disagreements without the relationship ending, to deal with her partner's jealousy without succumbing to his whims. This does not translate over to the AYITL era, where she's cheating once again, is unable to talk to Logan about their relationship whatsoever, and has pretty much failed at being a self-sufficient adult. Endgame's possible but it will take some work.

Despite all of this, I do think the Truncheon incident is actually a sign of progression in Rory and Jess's relationship because as messed up as her actions were, she actively respects him enough as a person to know when she's hurt him and takes responsibility for it. She also is eager to praise him and spend time with him, which has not been the case for several years. He has other people in his life besides her and he has a great life whether she's in it or not. He'll be okay. The slut era awaits him, after all.

[medi-bee]

Fortune Amidst Misfortune (more lore)

From nearly the beginning, Fortune Amidst Misfortune held little interest for solving the Great Problem. Soon after his creation, his interest was caught by the biological behaviors of his parents' species, the Ancients, which quickly expanded to the biological mechanisms of all natural species. He kept only just enough of his processes dedicated to the Great Problem to keep his creators satisfied, and when they faded out of existence, he wasted no time reclaiming his processing power back from the useless simulations.

Fortune dislikes social interactions with both the Ancients and other iterators. He can appreciate the social behavior from a distance, but being forced into one-on-one interactions make him incredibly uncomfortable and tense. His small local group were quick to realize this, except for one: Thirteen Thoughts of Lights Above (redesign pending).

Thirteen Thoughts of Lights Above is especially oblivious, but well meaning. She is considerably more "mechanized" than the other iterators, and has difficulty with social cues. She only ever reaches out to communicate to her neighbors with good reason, but she tries her robotic best to be short yet polite about it. Fortune is more tolerant of her then he is with the rest of the local group.

(Insert here a few dozen cycles of sparking interest in yellow lizards specifically. Fortune raises a handful of these genetically altered lizards, training them as best as he could while in his stock bipedal puppet. Fortune did manage to figure out a way to disconnect and reconnect himself with his umbilical, but his experience while detached was so horrible that he only did it a couple times and never again. And then the antenna-less yellow was born, and the pack project was discontinued.)

And so when Fortune Amidst Misfortune could no longer emotionally nor physically handle being stuck in his stock puppet (with its thin, too fragile build), he eventually had to turn to Thirteen for help. He has only basic knowledge of engineering, and something as advanced as building a new compatible, maneuverable, and sturdy puppet is out of his capabilities. Thirteen was happy to lend her knowledge and be of assistance. Besides for her, Fortune kept his puppet-revamp hush hush (at least until later on, when investigating overseers spill the secret).

Nowadays, he mostly spends his time researching the wildlife up close and getting assaulted in return. His can, settled into the side of a cliff above a biologically diverse hotspot, has two wings dedicated to holding subjects of study (mostly genetic experiments fueled by curiosity, with the occasional pity-case).

Slugcats would be the obvious choice for any genetic tampering, with how malleable-yet-stable their genes are, but... among his first experiments in the beginning, Fortune abducted a few specimens from the nearby colonies so that he could sample their DNA. And although they were later returned to the wild more-or-less unharmed, they must have somehow communicated their experience with the rest of them, because after that point Fortune would be harassed on sight whenever he got anywhere close to the colonies. So, slugcats? No longer a viable option.

Fortune tries to keep a code of ethics when working with his specimens: no harm without cause, no releasing unnatural organisms into the environment, etc. And he mostly succeeds at this! But there was one notable case of several breeding specimens escaping: batfinches. A splice of batflies and vultures. A small, gas filled prey animal. They invaded the local ecosystem, and even though things balanced out with time, for a while they had been devastating the lowest tiers on the ecological pyramid. They're pretty cute though, so worth it maybe?

Enter the current era with his darling devil lizardslug, Nips at Neurons.

[theramblingsofadork]

Starpoint AU Character Profile: Dr. Starline

Age: Starpoint Squad Era: 20, Downfall Era: 24, Restoration Era: 26

Starpoint Arc Personality: Much like his canon counterpart, Starpoint!Starline is a intelligent, calculated, and driven individual. He starts off as singleminded and determined to reach his goal, no matter what he has to do to reach it, even if he’s become a bit unsure that he can, due to his numerous failed attempts to gain Eggman’s attention already.

He’s great at manipulation, and despite having an ego and haughtiness, he knows how to ‘play along’ to keep his targets doing what he wants them to.

As the AU goes on, he begins to learn what it means to work as a team. He starts becoming more genuine, and eventually, much to his confusion, horror, and surprise, softens up and gains a bit of a heart for those around him.

As he begins to grow comfortable with the Starpoint Squad, his theatrical behaviors become more commonplace, and he finds himself confidently bantering with the group, and enjoying their presence.

His underlying goal of working with Eggman is still very prevalent, proving to his biggest stumbling block as Starline remains enthralled with the man and his awe inspiring legacy to the point where it ends up blinding him to reality.

And while he tries to play his cards close to his chest, if given the opportunity, he will eagerly go off on an excited tangent about the doctor or whatever other topic is on his mind, to whoever will listen to him.

Strengths: Along with his high intellect, Starline also possesses a wellspring of knowledge regarding a wide array of subjects. He’s quite sharp, and has an impeccable work ethic. He knows how to use his words to manipulate, and his dedication keeps him going, even in tough situations.

He also has the warp topaz, whose power he is currently still in the process of discovering the full extent of. Despite this, he can still use it with decent competency should the need ever arise.

Weaknesses: Ah yes. His folly.

Due to his upbringing and poor choice of idol, Starline can come off as quite haughty and pretentious at times, struggling to hold meaningful relationships with others due to past trauma and a skewed sense of what relationships actually look like. While insightful, he can easily be blindsighted by his dreams and selfish ambitions, often being quite dismissive of other people’s feelings and desires. Which… often gets him into trouble. ✨ And does wonders for his relationships ✨ /j

While he does grow out of this a bit from being around good influences, his pride does still like to reer it’s ugly head from time to time, as well as his underlying desire for validation and respect.

Throughout the arc, a new feeling starts to worm itself into him and replace his confidence in what he’s doing. A feeling that he doesn’t like.

He’s becoming close with these people. He’s falling in love with Rivet. He has something else he might care about now besides Eggman and his goal.

It’s all new to him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He struggles, discovering a newfound fear of rejection and losing sight of his goal. He can’t decide what to do, and ends up self sabotaging himself in leu of what he thinks he wants and needs, only burying himself deeper into a hole.

He can also tend to lose his nerve if spooked, and accidentally slips up secrets when engaged in one of his many excited and loose-tongued rambles.

History: Starpoint!Starline grew up as a bright-eyed, upper-class child with a great brilliance and interest in science.

He was raised in a well-off family of nobility, but didn’t have much in the way of friends due to being bullied and emotionally neglected by his ever-absent, bickering parents.

As a result, Starline grew up rather isolated, spending large amounts of time with only his studies and inventions to keep him company. (Which is where his habit of talking to himself spawned from.)

When Eggman’s global broadcast aired on TV, like a flip had been switched, Starline became spellbound. For here was a genius of his caliber, unafraid to show the world who he was, and use his genius to shape the world into how he saw fit.

Starline was enthralled, inspired by his confidence and brilliance, and he quickly fell down the rabbit hole, becoming a huge fan of Eggman’s legend. (His version of a Saturday Morning Cartoon hero.) It filled him with inspiration and drive, and as his confidence bloomed, so his relationships with his family and society around him grew even worse. Nevertheless, Starline ignored all of that, deciding to dedicate his career to following in the man’s footsteps.

Additional Information:

Starline’s Character Arcs: (Spoilers Ahead!)

⭐️ Starpoint Squad Arc:

Downfall Arc: Check back later!

Restoration Arc: Check back later!

Likes: Dr. Eggman, science, technology, robotics, the arcane, upper class, theater, Broadway, dressing and looking sharp, the Atmos cafeteria’s sandwiches, being appreciated and respected, peace and quiet, classical music, tea, being in charge of a situation, the Starpoint Squad (eventually), good food and intelligent company.

Dislikes: Sonic, being interrupted in the middle of a project, bullies, people who waste his time, loud jamming music, having little to no control over a situation, being put down by anyone

Last updated 4/27/24

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien's Through Thousands of Mirrors event translation (Day 5 - Monday)

Through Thousands of Mirrors Event | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 (You're here!) | Day 6 | Day 7 | HS/Uni SSR Story: Monochrome Scenery

-

special thanks to ivi (@ivioivioivi on twitter) for helping me with that last part 🫶

-

[PREVIEW]

A perfect week starts with morning prepping.

Lucien opens the textbook and reads through all the content that will be covered today.

He closes the textbook, then mentally connects and integrates the knowledge.

Ok, it's time to go to class!

-

[NEUROSCIENCE]

In Dr. Lawson's neuroscience class, there are occasional pop quizzes.

The first question can be answered with common sense, the second question is doable if you've reviewed the textbook, and the third question covers the material from the previous class, so it's quite easy.

The final question: "Discuss in 20 words the correlation between the prefrontal cortex, human behavior, and choice patterns in stressful environments."

Uh?

"P.S. Just kidding. Draw a cat in the upper left corner of your answer sheet for bonus points."

.......

"P.P.S. It would be even better if it's a tabby cat. An extra point for those who draw a tabby cat."

.....Okay.

-

[COGNITIVE SCIENCE]

Lucien looks at the cognitive science lesson plan and has a sudden inspiration.

It would be interesting to research a method that makes the brain receive or process information in a fixed manner.

He thinks Dr. Lawson would refuse the project proposal due to ethical concerns.

And if BS were to propose this direction, his research freedom would be restricted.

You can't have your cake and eat it too*.

[T/N: "鱼和熊掌不可兼得" (yú hé xióng zhǎng bù kě jiān dé) (lit translated to: You can't have both fish and bear's paw) is a Chinese idioms that means you can't have both at the same time. It's similar to the English saying, "You can't have your cake and eat it too."]

-

[BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE]

When you have many classmates aspiring to become physicians around you, there is always a loving and friendly atmosphere in the biomedical classroom.

But when your classmates start discussing how to prevent hair loss, this atmosphere dissipates.

Lucien touches his own hair, there shouldn't be a problem.

-

[FREE TIME]

Besides observing the passing students, Lucien also enjoys observing the small animals on campus.

Chickadees, crows, squirrels...

Um?

Lucien looks at his empty hands and understands why the squirrels on campus are particularly big and strong.

-

[LAB]

Lucien really likes his "workstation" in the laboratory.

The desk isn't large, but it's by the window, providing him with an environment where he won't be easily disturbed, and it just a bit sunny in the afternoon.

It's quite suitable for keeping some plants.

-

[LAB]

The beauty of science lies in its rigor, in the certainty reached through numerous hypotheses and repeated proofs.

And perhaps it also lies in the uncertainty of all possibilities during the process and the journey of venturing into the vast unknown.

-

[LAB]

Dr. Lawson treats people cordially and enjoys having open discussions with all kind of questions with students.

When facing Colt's statement that seems to come out of nowhere, "Capable people can be arrogant," Dr. Lawson also shares his own opinion.

"I think that arrogance should be directly proportional to one's achievements."

Lucien nods and says, “I also think we should always examine ourselves.”

Dr. Lawson raises his head with little cunning smile : “No, what I mean is for you to get a bit more achievements.”

Lucien was choked.

[sailoryooons]

are you on here2bbtstrash’s side bc they are your friend or because they are right, I’m really concerned for the world if everyone allows behavior like this (THAT THEY HAVE NOT EVEN APOLOGIZED FOR) just because they are friends w that person. Also it doesn’t matter that you are poc and don’t feel bad or hurt abt the situation bc guess what you don’t speak for the entire community. i would have really expected some maturity at your big age but ig anything can be excused when one is friends w someone

Hi, I already talked about essentially everything you're addressing in this post here. Being that you have additionally sent another message to someone else that is, to be fair, a lot meaner than this one, I'd like to say a few extra things here: TW: Mentions of racism/ethics and harassment

A majority of what has been said in regard to this topic from anonymous users has not felt like it's coming from a place of good faith, which I talk about in the post above. Your ask immediately going to insult me about my 'big age' and lack of maturity shows that you are more eager to insult me than to pose questions of racial ethics in your ask

I have never, and will never, as stated in my previous post, assert that I am the mouthpiece for a community or anyone besides myself. So you don't have to worry, I am not narcissistic enough to believe that I represent a single person outside of myself. And again, I am a white Latina who absolutely benefits from my whiteness and I mention the intersection between my whiteness and the way I've experienced racism in the above, but I feel the need to belabor the point that I am coming from a white Latina perspective

Perhaps you're someone who has blocked or been blocked by M, but they did apologize and attempted several times to talk about why it was included, but ultimately agreed that if one person was offended, it wasn't worth keeping. And what happened? Nothing, M was still being harassed because no one cares about 'accountability' or 'an apology' they only care about M (and now those who are still friends with M) being wrong. That's what you want everyone to do, right? You want them to say they were wrong and you're right.

You, and the others submitting to the tea blog who have been calling bipoc members of the community 'ass lickers' because they have a different point of view essentially negates your entire argument that 'it doesn't matter that you are poc and don't feel back or hurt abt the situation bc guess what you don't speak for the entire community' because... the second anyone else in the 'community' disagreed with your point of view, you attacked them. So what is it? Does only your experience dictate what should be said and done here?

This is the only time I will be talking about this. My blog is not a place for you to use as a platform to trivialize topics of racial justice by a poorly disguised personal vendetta against another user. The refusal to accept that others might not agree with you seems to be incredibly triggering so I'm sorry for whatever experiences that you have had that causes you to refuse to let this go.

Moving forward, if you wish to scream at someone about how people don't agree with you, please do it elsewhere, because I will no longer be signal-boosting your issues by honoring them with responses.

[theyareweird]

Vampire Knight: Senri Shiki's Yandere for Kianna Komori — Aesthetic Part 10 (Requested)

Mysterious Intentions

Maku approached his desk in the classroom. His stride was smooth, but rigid. "Good afternoon, class..." Maku politely greeted in a blunt tone. "Before we begin, I have an announcement". He began. Maku's silver-blue eyes were as dull as Kianna's amber colored eyes.

Since Senri had learned their ethics teacher is Kianna's biological father, he had been analyzing Maku's behavior to compare and contrast him to her. It was clear Kianna is practically a copy of her father. They both come across as cold and emotionless, but Senri was certain Maku had a soft side deep down towards those he cares about... Much like his Sweetheart.

"We have a new transfer student joining us today. Please welcome him". Maku said, gesturing towards the classroom door.

Under the doorframe was a young man dressed in the immaculately clean and neatly pressed school night class uniform. His purple eyes purposely avoided the classroom of unfriendly red eyes staring back at him. "Hi, my name is Azusa Mukami". He timidly greeted. "I was informed by the Headmaster this entire class is formed of Aristocrat Vampires or higher... If that's true, I hope you’ll accept me into your ranks as I do come from a wealthy family despite being a Rank C Vampire". Azusa said in a low voice. Unfortunately, his manner of speech was incredibly slow as he spoke to everyone's dismay.

Although the class was silent, everyone was certainly stunned by this new kid’s lack of a filter. "A commoner"? Ruka hissed under her breath.

Akatsuki frowned at this. He stood by Ruka's desk with his arms crossed. "What's with his guy"? Akatsuki grumbled, turning his attention onto Kaname.

The Pureblood Vampire was sitting in a padded chair off to the side of the room. He was resting his fist onto his cheek with his legs cross. Kaname's mahogany eyes were fixated on the new student. Azusa's extremely pale complexion stood out against the white formal suit-like attire. Kaname narrowed his eyes upon spotting the noticeable scar on the bridge of Azusa's nose along with another scar on the lower bottom of this left cheek. The white vest and black dress shirt the commoner wore couldn’t hide the bandage around his neck.

"Welcome, Mr. Mukami". Kaname greeted with a forced smile. "I do hope you will behave yourself while attending this academy". He warned.

Azusa politely nodded. "I will if it means I get to see my Alice. I found out she's here". He replied.

Rima tilted her head to the side. "There's no one by that name here..."

Ruka rolled her eyes. "He must be referring to someone in the Day Class". She pointed out in an uninterested tone.

Kaname sighed at this. "Mr. Mukami, I do hope you are not implying you plan on breaking a school rule already".

Maku then spoke up and said "Don’t make your first week more difficult by mingling with a Day Class girl. It's prohibited for classes to socialize outside of crossover or school events".

Azusa heavily sighed. "How disappointing". He said softly, making his way up the staircase. Azusa then approached Senri's desk and slid in beside him. "Do you mind if I sit here"? He shyly asked.

"Why bother asking if you're just going to sit"? Senri questioned.

"So rude". Rima added, looking down at Azusa from the desk behind them. The adolescent's blue-green colored hair either fell to his chin, or the curly mess stuck out all over the place. Despite Azusa claiming he has wealth, he certainly didn't look the part to Rima.

"Sorry". Azusa apologetically said. He was purposely avoiding eye contact with everyone, yet he insisted on doing whatever he wanted.

Senri exhaled in an attempt to let the matter go. He then leaned back in his chair and proceeded to steal glances at the new guy. At the corner of his eye, Senri noticed the sleeves from Azusa's white blazer barely concealed the bandages peeking out from his wrists. This guy certainly wasn't mentally stable.

After class, everyone returned to the Moon Dormitory. Some students went straight to their rooms. Others decided to hang outside. Senri instantly zeroed in on Kianna in the lounge area of the grande opulent foyer. She was sitting at the end of a velvet sofa, leaning over a coffee table where her homework was laid out. Normally, Kianna would do homework in her room, but she thought this would be a good change of scenery.

Considering there were many night class students wandering around, Senri instinctively plopped himself beside his girlfriend and protectively drapped an arm over the back of the chair. He liked the idea of silently claiming his territory. With simple actions, the other vampires knew not to mess with his lover. Senri then leaned into Kianna's ear and whispered, "I can help if you want".

Kianna straightened her posture. "I'm good". She flatly replied, flipping over the next math worksheet. Kianna truly meant that. She was actually good at mathematics.

Takuma was sitting close by with a manga in his hands. He flashed the couple a beamming smile and said "Senri, you're so cute with Kianna"!

Senri blushed in response. "Oh, brother"! Hanabusa scuffed, rolling his eyes as he walked by.

Rima was walking in the opposite direction as the blonde vampire. "No one asked you, Aido". She tisked, approaching the group.

Suddenly, Azusa followed in suit until he stood across from Senri and Kianna. "Good afternoon, Alice! It's nice to see you again". He politely greeted with a smile.

"Huh"? Ruma hummed. She then blinked down at Kianna from behind the sofa. She was preoccupied with her homework to acknowledge anyone. To attract her attention, Rima tapped her shoulder and asked, "Do you know each other"?

Kianna then tilted her head up from her worksheet and locked eyes with the vampire across from her. "Azusa..." She gawked. He was the last person she expected to see at Cross Academy. "Good afternoon..." Kianna said in her usual emotionless tone.

Senri stiffened beside his girlfriend. According to Maku, Azusa just recently enrolled. Noting Kianna isn't part of the night class, he was oblivious as to how they knew each other. Especially since this guy was a vampire of all things. Senri remembered everything Kianna told him about her past last night. Keeping all of this in mind, it bothered him how this guy could have bitten his girlfriend.

"Oh! You do know each other". Takuma said with a smile.

Rima then pushed out some poky sticks from their box. The pink coatted biscuits smelt of strawberries. She then held out a stick to Senri and Kianna. Senri threw his head back and bit the poky stick in between his teeth. Kianna simply took the candy from Rima's hand and stuck it between her lips.

"What's with the pet name"? Rima asked, taking a poky stick for herself.

Senri closed his eyes upon hearing Rima's question. He didn't have a problem with her asking this on his behalf. Senri was quite curious himself, but he didn't want to appear like a possessive and jealous boyfriend... Even though he secretly was.

Kianna shrugged. "He started calling me that after he caught me reading, 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland'".

Azusa then averted his purple eyes to the floor. He was shyly fidgeting with his hands as he stood. "I thought it was a cute nickname to call my girlfriend". Azusa replied.

"What"? Senri, Rima and Takuma chorused.

Requested: @nunezs-stuff

[writtengalaxies]

Promise Me?

Lost Memory Files :: Part 2

Characters: Damien, Dark, GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,268

Spicy Rating: Implied intimacy, mentions of partial undress, nothing actually spicy.

You've known Damien for years now. He doesn't talk much about his pain.

It's not something he really wants to talk about, and he knows that some of his political opponents would use it against him. You only know because you knew him before he was the beloved mayor, there for him through the early days, when his bad pain days were far between. However, this year hasn't been kind to him, and he's rarely seen without his cane. Some think it's just a simple of the financial wealth he was born to, some think it makes him look regal and composed.

You know that it might be showy, but it's very practical, even if you wish the head was better shaped for supporting his weight.

No matter what, it's better for him to say that he's spending days at home working intensely, having lost sleep rather than keeping people in city hall later than they need to be. He claims he's working on the proposals and needs of the city. He is, in all honesty, even if he doesn't tell them that the real reason he doesn't come into the office is because he can't actually get his body to support his weight long enough to get out of bed. His focus is worse on those days, describing it like a thick fog that steals his train of thoughts.

And really, it's not all that unusual for you, the district attorney, to go follow up on things, or grab files from his office that he needs. All of the city hall employees know you, have known you since before you were elected to the position. If you don't show up in city hall at least once a day, they start to get worried about you. It's kind of sweet, in a gossip-inducing sort of way. The point stands that as the DA, you need to have your thumb on the pulse of the city too. You may be new to the position, but no one can deny your work ethic.

Besides, you were friends in school, and well-known to be close friends even now.

Even if friends isn't exactly what you want to be known as.

You've definitely crossed that line at several points with him. More than, truly. You're not sure that a single day has gone by since you first stole that kiss from him during a late night study session in university that you haven't spent part of the day mussing his perfectly coiffed hair by threading your hands through it before pulling him into slow, heavy, passionate kisses. More nights than not, you spend it together in either his bed or your own, legs tangled together, a soft sort of intimacy.

Neither of you have put a word on it yet, unsure if you even want to. Neither of you is terribly certain this is going to last, or impact your careers, and a myriad of other excuses that have existed for years now.

It's still your excuse now, however, as you watch him flush that pretty shade of red you enjoy seeing paint his cheeks and tips of his ears, as he looks away from you, where you're gently massaging along his bare hip bone, down to his knee and back, trying to help ease some of the worst of his rheumatism pain. The cold, wet autumn weather was the perfect storm to leave him in agony, as had been evidenced by his exhausted, pain-tight voice when he rang you an hour ago, asking you only to swing by his office and grab the paperwork he needed. Even with the travel and stops, by the time you got to his house, he had barely gotten half-way up the stairs, hissing in pain as he tried to get up the next step.

The indignant squawk of you hauling him upright, taking most of his weight off his bad side was as traditional as his embarrassed thanks, and the unnecessarily shy behaviors as you worked on his leg. Damien was nothing but a gentleman, even now, as you breathed in deep, letting the bite of the wintergreen oil overtake all the other scents in the room, sharp and herbal as you worked it into the aching joints.

"Let me get the hot water packs," you said as you stood, watching as the glassy look in his eyes started to fade with the relief from the pain.

"Please," he sighs out. "Never leave, I don't know what I'd do without you."

All you can do is laugh, pressing a kiss to his forehead with a quiet promise to stay.

-----

You nearly miss the soft groan of pain.

Your head turns as you look at Dark, where he sits at his desk. He's hunched forward, fingers pressed deep into either side of his neck.

The constant needs of overseeing so many things, of trying to make sure every little detail is accounted for, that until the right time for something that he refuses to tell you about comes to pass. It doesn't help that it's already October, and the date he dreads each year is nearly here. You didn't fully understand why, and he's always waved you off when you ask about it.

Regardless of anything else, you know that pose. Some part of your brain reminds you that once, a very long time ago, you'd sit like that often. You can never remember why, the mental fog that steals away your memories from before you came to this house blurring too many details every time you try to focus.

"You're holding tension in your shoulders again." Your simple words pull him up out of his thoughts, looking up with a wince as the muscles tense. You know you're lucky, that Dark doesn't often let others see any sign of weakness, and most people who do see him roll his neck think he's displaying his boredom with them. The truth is that his neck always hurts.  You just know this because of your complicated, quiet, budding relationship with the man who isn't truly human. "That's going to make the pain worse."

"I'm...aware." He tries his best to keep his short temper in check, for you.

"Where's the salve?"

Dark sighed, letting the breath he didn't really need to take punch into the air. "The usual place."

You nod, nudging him gently to get out of his desk chair, prompting him to sit on the floor in front of the couch you spent most of your time reading, so you can better work the salve into his neck. The tin lived in the top drawer of his desk, and something about it always made you feel nostalgic. You breathed in deep, letting the sharp, herbal notes fill your lungs as you sighed softly. Looking up, Dark was staring at you with that expression again. The one that you couldn't ever truly understand, despite late nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling.

It always made him look lighter, younger almost somehow, as if the weight of the world wasn't pressing down upon his shoulders. It held some note of something that said he wanted to tell you something but you never could quite figure out what. Shortly after, usually, his expression would slide into something akin to guilt, and he'd turn to his paperwork. But he couldn't wave off your questioning now.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Dark stared, lowering his hands from his neck as you approached, his words soft and as close to a whisper as he could manage.

"Just...please. Never leave. I don't know what I would do without you."

You smiled, taking a moment to bend down and press a kiss to his forehead, quietly promising to stay.

[three--rings]

Hello! Sorry to bother but I am waaay too curious

If you have time/energy/mood, could you please elaborate? I am curious about your perspective. Psychology is one of my biggest passions and I want to start a degree in it (with possibility to advance further with the degree maybe) I am aware of some of its flaws, and the fact that it can be biased and inconclusive and not exactly exact and precise like the other sciences. Is there anything else that perhaps I should keep an eye out on? Thank you for reading and if you reply, thank you for replying as well.

So the thing about studying psychology, especially at the undergrad level, is that you spend all your time being taught about these landmark studies that defined the thinking of decades of psychology theory and practice.

And then at some point, which may be during or after your education, you learn all of those studies were terrible research bullshit that can't be reliably reproduced even if they could get past a modern ethics board.

Psychology is a field that is really uncomfortable with itself because it desperately wants to be taken seriously as a hard science and not be thought of as just people thinking about people. But it is REALLY REALLY bad at being a hard science. The research is just not rigorous at ALL.

My senior year of undergrad for my research methods class my group of slackers who rarely went to class put together a research study where we drew up entirely new models and tools that looked far better than the published ones, applied them to a much larger and more diverse population of subjects and basically put the leading research in that little niche to shame. On the weekends. Our prof wanted us to publish but we were graduating and it never happened. We sent it to the leading researcher in the field and he was all...uh, yeah, I'm working on some new stuff too...but good for y'all. He was a known prick though.

Like, it's not that there's not good stuff in there somewhere. But my god there's so much chaff.

Then you get into the grad school degree maelstorm and...ugh. There are a lot of options. They are split into practical i.e. you want to help people in the real world and clinical i.e. you want to do shitty studies and publish.

I worked both in psychology research (so I got to see how the sausage was made on the ground) and in social work for mental health care and...most of my coworkers at both jobs had some kind of advanced degrees and were making something around $30K doing the same jobs as me. There are far too many people with masters in psychology because they are easy to get and even if you get your LPC they are still way too many people with them with no idea what they are doing. Like you can go to Christian College Number 304 and get your Marriage and Family Therapy masters and come out and have only learned to Pray On It and do some supervised hours and now you're licensed and yeah I worked with these people. (Go get your masters, they told me. It is SO EASY they told me. Uh, yeah that's not winning me over to your program.)

Anyway, if you can't tell I'm jaded. Besides the fact that the field is one that will eat you alive, burn you out, and then spit you up, with no money and no accomplishments. I also deeply loved it even though it destroyed me. (I mean also my spine exploded, which didn't help.)

If you want to do hands-on helping people stuff I like the social work programs out there. And if you want to study hard science of human behavior neuroscience is killing it. Psychology is...IDK. The most hopeful way to look at it is that it's a discipline going through a transitional period maybe. But I'm also fairly out of touch with the field these days so talking to someone actually in the field now would be a good call for further advice. Unfortunately most faculty in my experience are...deeply behind the times. You would not believe the kind of 1960s relics I had to deal with teaching me.

And most of what I learned about mental health I learned on the ground, in mental health crisis work, on the go. Most of psychology doesn't really enjoy dealing with "abnormal psychology". Which is literally the term for people with any mental health diagnosis. I had one class on it.

So that's my entirely personal experience based opinion. For more, look into the replication crisis of psychology research.

[mysisters-bike]

a discussion of ethics in true crime and psychology

last night, i was perusing reddit and saw a comment on a post asking if the community thought if both eric and dylan were psychopaths. we all know how i feel about this, but at this time, it’s a bit beside the point. the comment that got me thinking and inspired this post was this:

“Not sure what definition of Pyschopath you are referring to but:

Dictionary: a person affected by chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.

I think that checks the box, he was abnormal and he certainly was violent.

Merriam-Webster: he meaning of PSYCHOPATH is a mentally unstable person; especially : a person having an egocentric and antisocial personality

Check, Check, he was anti-social to a T, his journal showed huge amounts of egocentric red flags

Dictionary.com - a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships.

IDK I don't see anything in there about self-preservation. We can't study him because he's dead, yes, he's dead because he committed one of the most heinous acts in our lifetime, which to me is something a psychopath would do. I guess you could argue, if given the right treatments, could he have lived a normal life? I'm sure, he could have yes, that still doesn't make him any less of a psychopath in my book. At the time of his death, he was a living, breathing psychopath in my eyes. I am also not a doctor.”

what is wrong with this? first, let me actually ask you what you know about ethics in psychology?

as you all may know, i am an actual psychologist. i have a BA in psych and my MS in forensic psych. i currently work with first-time offenders but i’m transitioning into long-term incarcerated populations. i have conducted my own research on the efficacy of cognitive behavioral interventions on substance use disorder in prisons with backing from my university. this is the same introduction i gave to this person. it’s important to acknowledge my background because, all i’m trying to say is that i’m qualified to speak on this.

YOU CANNOT DIAGNOSE SOMEONE FROM A DICTIONARY DEFINITION. the same example i posed to this person was: “does this mean that, based on your criteria, that every guy who robs an old lady of her purse in a park is a psychopath?” because that’s abnormal and violent, right? on the other hand, we have the DSM-5 for a reason. you know?

the reality is that conditions like psychopathy are highly intricate and have many moving parts, comes with a lot of background information, and needs the absolute correct recipe to actually be defined and diagnosed.

something we do in the field of correctional psychology (which is different from forensic psychology) is helping the offender understand why the did what they did and how they can be better. in order to correctly assign a treatment plan, we need to correctly diagnose the patient. this means, as psychologists, we need to keep in mind the scope of treatment, the patient’s social and familial history, family risk factors, socioeconomic risk factors, etc. the biggest thing i mentioned is SCOPE OF TREATMENT.

to ethically carry out the correct scope of treatment, correctional and forensic psychologists must put aside biases and judgements of those who may have a criminal background. in correctional psychology, we are not treating the crime, we are treating the person. forensic psychologists, on the other hand, do have more of a hand in treating the crime or, rather, serving as expert witnesses and trying to prevent future criminal activity. we may not judge the patients who enter our case load.

lastly, i am never saying the perpetrators are victims in their crimes but they are often victims to their upbringing, mental illnesses, and society. even beyond prison, the formerly incarcerated continue to be societal victims and face a social death that is akin to banishment. they can’t find work or housing and end up repeating the same vicious cycle; it’s abhorrent.

i’m posting this because it upset me. i couldn’t change the person’s mind and that’s okay, but it bothers me to see people thinking so plainly and unethically. at the very least, we need to educate ourselves as a society to stop judging criminals because half the time, that’s the reason they continue to find themselves in prison to begin with. put on your psychologist hats.

as a final parting thought…it’s interesting to me that when i bring up the need for EMPATHY when facing the treatment of criminals, it’s okay because i’m a psychologist. but it wasn’t before i entered this field. isn’t that weird?

[i-stand-with-survivors]

Ok so I mentioned a few days ago I was thinking of making a post about stuff people on our own side are getting wrong about Curry and I’m finally making that post now. Her assessment should be discredited but just not for the reasons many people are saying. I value accurate information and I also don’t think it’s a good look for us if we say we believe in the facts and then say something that’s verifiably false? Even though it comes from genuine misunderstandings and not blatantly ignoring the facts. I’ll also say some of the primary reasons that I believe Curry’s testimony to be unprofessional, unethical, and basically all-around suspect lest anyone think I feel otherwise.

Claim #1 I’ve seen: HPD is not in the DSM.

It is. In the DSM-5 it’s on page 667. However, it is a highly controversial diagnosis, to the point it was nearly deleted from the DSM.

Claim #2 I’ve seen: Only board-certified psychologists are ethically competent to provide diagnoses.

In the US (I’ve heard it’s different in other countries), you don’t have to be a psychologist -- let alone a board-certified one -- to provide diagnosis.

Typically, psychological evaluation (which is where the assessment tools are administered and such) is done by psychologists. But diagnoses can be given by any licensed therapist, psychiatrist, or medical doctor, as well as a clinical trainee (pre-licensed therapist) so long as their licensed supervisor signs off on it. (I personally do not think medical doctors should be diagnosing mental health conditions, but that’s beside the point.)

Claim #3 I’ve seen: It normally takes a very long time to diagnose somebody.

This one is “yes and no.”

A therapist may be able to bill a couple of “pre-DA” sessions, but generally an assessment interview is done in the first session to get a starting point. Insurance will not cover services without a diagnosis in place. (For clients who pay out of pocket, it is possible to avoid diagnosing.) The assessment interview is different from a psychological evaluation and is less robust. If the therapist feels there’s something more difficult to diagnose present, they will often refer for psychological evaluation.

Psychological evaluation is typically only a couple of meetings and some assessment tools. That part is normal.

However, most providers are very cautious in making diagnoses of serious, life-altering mental illnesses. For example a therapist may diagnose a “lighter” diagnosis (like diagnosing Adjustment Disorder when they see potential ODD symptoms but want to rule out that they’re a temporary reaction to the stressor) while either continuing to observe and assess, or referring out for further testing.

For psychologists, they might express that caution by using many assessment tools for similar things to compare results -- like Hughes did -- or by making a “provisional diagnosis” (that is, it appears to be present but more time or information is needed to be sure). For example, when I got a psychological evaluation for ADHD, I was given like 5 different tests that all measured basically the same set of symptoms in different ways.

Claim #4 I’ve seen: The fact that she’s not board-certified means that she’s a sham.

I do think she’s a sham, but not because of her lack of board certification. To quote my own post from earlier tonight, 96% of psychologists are not board certified and most of them don’t deserve to be looked down on because of her unprofessional and unethical behavior. Many people just consider it unnecessary.

It’s relevant in the sense of recognizing it’s suspicious they would choose an expert witness who is not board certified and has no experience testifying about IPV when they had plenty of money to hire someone who is at the top of the field, and it’s relevant in comparing her to Hughes (who is more experienced as well as board certified). But it’s only a tiny part of what discredits Curry, and does not reflect all psychologists who don’t have board certification.

The things that DO discredit her:

Potentially agreed to diagnose AH with BPD before meeting her (she denies it but AH’s team says they have a document saying she would, dated long before she met AH).

Prior to assessing AH, had an “interview” with JD’s team... which included dinner and drinks... and had JD himself present... as well as Waldman who isn’t even part of his team anymore... and lasted for 3-4 hours.

(She claims this was to interview her regarding her professional qualifications. And if his team -- without him or Waldman -- had come into her office -- not his house -- and had a normal interview where they asked her to review her professional qualifications -- which I don’t think would typically take 3-4 hours -- then maybe I would understand.)

Ignored all medical records that didn’t conform to her bias. We know now that AH has been telling providers about the abuse for years and this is documented -- sometimes even with her alleging it right in front of JD, who is said to not have denied it -- but Curry said directly that she chose to ignore all of that because “therapists have to believe their clients,” even though there’s no established motivation for AH to lie at that point.

Upheld the MMPI for its well-documented validity without bothering to mention that it was not created to assess for personality disorders nor PTSD. Did not bother administering a single test that is actually geared at assessing for personality disorders (like the MCMI). Also did not bother mentioning that while the MMPI itself is a reliable measure, there is room for potential bias in its interpretation.

Describes the CAPS-5 as objective because it is less vulnerable to client bias, while completely ignoring that the fact the clinician has to code answers (decide if they meet criteria and score them) means it is highly vulnerable to clinician bias.

Mentions over and over again how frequently she thinks PTSD is faked, suggesting a potential bias she already held prior to entering this situation. Not to mention the potential bias after her “interview” with JD, Waldman, and his team.

Part of her “evidence” AH is faking PTSD is that according to Curry, people with real PTSD can’t hold down a job, leave the house, maintain familial relationships, take care of themselves, etc. She directly says that things like career success, maintaining social ties, engagement in hobbies, and regular exercise (important as an actor) disprove that she has PTSD. I guess she chooses to ignore that 1) people can do all those things and still struggle in other ways, and 2) clinically significant distress is also accepted to fulfill the “clinically significant impairment” criteria.

[steveharrington]

You just got hundreds of people attacking (1) Tumblr user and being all kinds of ugly to them, calling them a pedophile just because you don't like them shipping 2 adult characters in a video game. Whether or not the age gap makes you uncomfy is besides the point, these are not real people and shipping them doesnt have any real world consequences (and they are very much of age, the character of Laura is at minimum mid 20s). So if you should feel bad about anything it's that. I'm disappointed in your behavior and I'm unfollowing

are you guys stupid or what. i made a post on My Blog about not liking the content i was seeing in a certain tag. i didn’t even tag it as the quarry or the characters, i just mentioned their names in the the tag and didn’t asterisk them. someone found that post, got upset with me and called me insufferable and whiny, and literally all i said was “you are 31” in response. if anything i was nicer to them than they were to me. if they didn’t want people getting upset with them in the tags, they shouldn’t have started an argument with me about the ethics of shipping teens and adults. idk what to tell you! i can’t control what people say about them in the tags, although they’re clearly enjoying it because they screenshot and respond to every single one. and if you really think i give a single fuck that some rando on tumblr is “disappointed in my behavior” you are delusional. i don’t care about your meaningless assessment of my posts and i don’t care at all if you follow me. fuck off forever please and thank you

[the27percent]

"Dear Diary..."

I don't know how to feel about some of the patterns that I notice over time. I really don't know. I .. I think so many deserve the chance to choose how they want to be, and carve out their own autonomy.. whenever possible.

But I also know that there are those who choose to use that opportunity to try and control others, which is.. besides the point of allowing people to make choices.

I don't.. I don't feel like being some figure who stomps and says.. hey you all should stop doing that is a good idea. I don't think that works for me, I don't think that works in general frankly. But .. it's very difficult to see some of those patterns and wonder, what exactly will it take for those behaviors to change.

Sometimes it's disasters outside of their control that does something.. that does push people towards varying shifts. Other times is having to deal with a number of intersecting events at once.

But then again.. there are so many often caught up in that who deserve to be.

Ah.. maybe I shouldn't be trying to determine ethics. There's way too many places, way too many dynamics that could clash and intersect and push peoples' response in one way or another. I think it's all very interesting and I like learning about such experiences. But it's really makes living in the universe at all such.. a weird thing.