#the event had me laughing the entire time it was so funny lmao

[akkivee]

what cracks me up about the evolved forms of this series of cards is that there wasn’t even any reason for it lmao???? there was no fire involved at all in this event lmao kuukou just locked samatoki’s gang in a cave for three days and 🐴🐰📿 spent the time cleaning what was the reason lmao

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m) I ch. VII

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 6,656

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), cute date on the back of jk's car trunk, jk nervous, jk gives lots of gifts & flowers to oc, oc is obsessed with clearance chocolate, auntie oc and uncle kook take care of yoongi's twins, jk & oc become guinea pigs for yoongi's kids lmao, mention of dentist!yoongi, jk's mommy issues get mentioned, jk has personal daddy issues but he working through them, jk being good hubby to oc, just a rollercoaster of emotions ngl

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: Hello! thanks for being patient with me guys!! Important: the flashback for this chapter follows events of chapter V and will refer to it. And yes it's thier first date! Kind of 👀👀 that will be for you to decide. Then we have present day jk and oc being guinea pigs for Yoongi's crazy twins hehehe. Ok pls, enjoy 💞

<< ch. VI ༓ ch. VIII >> ┃series masterlist

You know how some couples have multiple weddings that lead to disagreements over their real anniversary date? Or maybe it’ll be when the relationship was made official or what the first sign of attraction was? Yeah, that’s you and Jungkook when it comes to pinpointing exactly when your first date was.

If you ask your husband, he’ll tell you it was weeks after you were discharged from the hospital during your postgrad studies. But in your opinion, it was far before his timeframe.

You see due to a group of overly eager college freshmen, you had sprained your ankle and cracked a rib. Jungkook stayed with you the entire first two weeks of the recovery period. He'd bring study notes to you, your favorite food, hell even art supplies he bummed off Taehyung to help break up your mundane days in the hospital.

When the time finally came that you were well enough to finish the healing process at home, he suggested a dinner out would be an excellent way to celebrate.

"...do you wanna go out to dinner?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected.

"Are you asking me on a date…?"

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well…let's go with hang out like friends do."

You’re convinced that this was the first time he asked you out, thus leading to your first date. Your husband, however, thinks it was too vague to tell. He prefers to see it as more a pre-date instead.

So, was it a date?

Was it an unspoken pre-date?

The jury’s still out about this one.

4 years ago

It’s a gorgeous day with the way the sun beams on the hood of his car. A few scattered clouds, fluffy and white, float across the sky as well, offering shelter from the heat. You were discharged from the hospital only yesterday and Jungkook was already insistent on going out today, saying that a little fresh air and a change of scenery would be good for you.

“Where are we going?” You turn your head from the passenger window to look at the man inquisitively. It’s a simple question but the tension of the unknown nibbles at you from inside.

“One of my favorite spots,” Jungkook replies with his eyes set on the road. “Hope you don’t mind the drive. It’ll be another fifteen minutes.”

“It's fine. Why can’t I know where we’re going though?”

He hesitates to answer. “Do you not like surprises?”

You shrug. “Sure I do, as long as I know about them ahead of time.”

A hearty laugh follows your words and it sends one of the warmest feelings through your whole body. You didn't think you were being funny, but after being stuck in the hospital for two weeks, it's nice to feel something other than dismal. Jungkook is good at lifting your spirits at the most unexpected of times, you hum to yourself.

He looks handsome today too.

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about it as you watch a few strands of his dark hair blow over. He has his window cracked to let in a gentle breeze and though it causes him trouble here and there, he remains mostly unbothered.

The oversized white T-shirt he chose to wear is something you're still taking time to adjust to. Much more casual compared to what he wears during his lectures. But you like it with the loose-fitting pants he's paired it with.

"If it's necessary for you to know where we're going then I guess I have no choice." Jungkook looks in your direction but your gaze lingers down his torso. "__."

"Yes?" You immediately blink up at him, hoping you don’t look too flushed. Once he directs his attention back to the road you'll make sure to check yourself in the side-view mirror. Using your phone camera might look a little too obvious.

"I was saying if you need to know where we're going I'll tell you," he repeats. "But if it's possible I'd really like for it to be a secret until we get there."

"Alright," you concede. "I guess I could stand the wait this one time. This is your only freebie though. No more surprises after this."

"No more checking me out," he mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing."

.

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"No." Jungkook opens his door and hops out of the car. "I'll be right back."

"Wait where are you going?" You know he wants whatever this is to be a surprise but you've been told to keep your eyes shut for the last five minutes. You're a little nervous to say the least, especially if he's about to disappear somewhere. "Jungkook?"

No response.

"Hello? Jungkook?" You're tempted to open your eyes when you hear the trunk of his car suddenly pop open. Several rustling noises follow as he digs around. "What are you doing back there?"

"You'll see soon. I'm almost done so just sit tight for a moment." He unzips a bag and then pushes said bag around the floorboard. The sound of something crashing on the ground perks up your ears in the moments following, earning a tiny 'shit' from Jungkook.

"Everything alright?" You're seriously getting antsy now.

When Jungkook swings your door open, a cool breeze hits your legs. "All good __. But now, I'm going to need you to trust me because I'm going to help you out of the car."

What?

"Um, I do have crutches I can use you know. You don't have to carry me anywhere like before. Dr. Kim said I should–"

"You won't need them this time. We're not going far okay?" He ducks his head inside and guides your arms around his neck. "Can you scoot forward a little?"

You do as he says until he tells you to stop. And with one arm supporting your lower back and the other firm under your legs, you're lifted out of your seat.

"Okay." The ground underneath his feet crunches as he straightens himself back up and out of the vehicle. "Now you can open your eyes."

As soon as you do your jaw drops.

"Surprise!"

Jungkook watches your stunned face as you take in all of Seoul from your perched position.

"I hope you don't mind that I didn't take us to a traditional restaurant. This is an overlook I happened to stumble on years ago when I first moved here. Not many people know about it because it's kind of off the beaten track but I get a bit adventurous sometimes."

He carries you around to the back of the car.

"Since you're still recovering I won't make us sit on the ground but I brought food that we can eat in the back of my trunk. There's a pillow there you can lean against too. And I made sure to park at an angle so we can watch the sunset."

"Wow...Jungkook I don't know what to say."

"It's cheesy isn't it?" His previously eager tone drops and you can't help but feel a pulling at your heartstrings. "I'm sorry if this isn't your thing. I probably should have asked."

"I love cheesy." You crack a small smile and Jungkook breaks out into a grin again, causing both of you have butterflies in your stomachs. "You're very thoughtful for doing this. I'm sorry about my initial reaction. I'm just shocked."

"Well, we're friends now, aren't we? You should get used to this kind of stuff from now on." He walks up to the trunk and carefully sets you down. "Here, lean back." He fluffs the pillow and then gestures for you to lay back.

Once you're comfortable, he hops in next to you and grabs the baby blue gift bag from the corner of the trunk. You don't know how you missed it before given its size and very decorative packaging.

"Before I give you this to you please know that I don't expect anything back okay?" His hands are shaky as he holds the bag on his lap. "This is just something I wanted to give you after your injury and having to be in the hospital for so long."

You nod your head in understanding but are not fully convinced. "And you're giving this to me as a friend, yes?" You take the bag from him and slowly open it.

"Mhm."

You narrow your eyes at him before reaching into the bag. You take out a very large, sturdy box. "God, Jungkook. This is so heavy. What's in here?" You tear apart the wrapping paper and open the smooth lid. "Oh my god, you didn't?!"

They're chocolates from the dessert shop you told him about last Sunday night. You had mentioned it in passing because you were craving sweets but not in the slightest did you think he'd take it to heart. The shop was at least an hour's drive away.

"Don't worry." He sees the pressure creeping on your face. "I was going that direction anyway. But I saw it on my way back and was reminded that you were craving it the other night. Uhm, there's also a coupon in there too. They included that in the purchase."

"Jungkook....you really didn't need to do any of this for me." You grab the small card laying at the bottom of the bag that reads 20% off. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" You're taken aback when he jumps off the trunk to scurry to the backseat. He returns in mere seconds with a generous bouquet of pink and purple hydrangeas. "These are for you too."

You shriek and grab them out of his hand, feeling a little giddy. Hydrangeas are your absolute favorites. "Sorry, that was really rude of me. These are so beautiful, though. Thank you. I don't know what to say."

Jungkook sits back down and pulls forward a freezer bag. "Seeing you this excited is enough. I brought us a lot of food too so, we should probably eat it before it starts going bad. This bag can only do so much preserving." He digs out box after box of yummy food from fresh strawberries to sushi. There are drinks too; banana milk and soju.

Your stomach growls as you watch him set the food between you both.

"Well, don't be shy." He hands you a plate with chopsticks. "Dig in."

.

"You look very pretty in that blouse..." He stabs his straw into his milk and takes a large sip. "The color really suits you."

"Oh, thank you." You manage the words once you swallow the strawberry you're eating. "Yours too."

Jungkook combs through his hair with his fingers. "Thanks, this t-shirt really brings out my eyes don't you think?" You laugh and shove his shoulder lightly.

"Stop, I'm being serious. I don't see you in this type of style often. It looks good."

He gives a playful shake of his head. "Where did you get that shirt anyway?" He gestures at your top again.

"At a store," you reply dumbly. "It was on sale. Gotta love a good deal right?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Never pay full price."

"That's exactly what I try telling my roommate. She only buys the best of the best but I think she could get the same thing 50% off if she waited long enough."

"You know Taehyung's the same way. Nothing but luxury from head to toe. I'm surprised he paints in a basic t-shirt and jeans some days."

You chuckle, feeling the air light and fresh. "Painting gets messy so it's better you not wear your best and brightest clothes. Sometimes I'll just wear a giant t-shirt that already has paint stains and nothing el–"

Shit.

You cringe at how quickly you can run your mouth. Jungkook doesn't need to know your painting attire evident from his sudden frozen up form.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. I've heard worse." Jungkook clears his throat and looks out to the view in front of you. "This really is a beautiful spot is it not?"

Thank you for the deflection, you silently say to him.

"Yes, it's the best view I've seen in my life. I can't believe you found this place. It's like seeing everything for the first time again."

.

"__."

"Hm?"

"Is it weird that I–" He stops mid-sentence, hands rubbing his thigh. "Is it weird that I brought you here?"

"Of c–"

"No wait, wait that's not what I wanted to ask." He runs his fingers through his hair again, doing his best to keep eye contact. "What would you say if someone were to ask you out?"

You relax into a tight-lipped smile and quirk your head to a slight angle. "I'd probably say no because I'm on a date with you right now."

At this Jungkook's milk slips from his hand, spilling on his pants. You grab some napkins next to you and help him wipe the spillage off.

"We're on a date?" He stands the milk upright. "This is a date?"

"Yes, it very obviously is. I don't wear this top for just anyone you know." You close your mouth instantly and sit up straight. "You weren't meant to hear the last part."

"Wait, go back. I thought this was us hanging out. Remember? At the hospital, I said–"

"C'mon the flowers, the specialty chocolates, taking me to one of your secret hideouts. Not to mention packing all this food to share. It is most definitely a date. Do you not want it to be?"

"No! I mean of course, yes. But I would have dressed a lot better." He looks down at himself, embarrassed. "I just threw these on before I left the house."

"And what else would you have worn? I see you in dress shirts and slacks twice a week at the school, if not more."

"Oh, I guess you have a point." He lets out a sigh. "To be honest __. We don't have the most proper relationship for that kind of thing, do we? It's annoying that I keep saying it but I am still your professor until the end of this semester at least. Us dating would be kind of a breach of contract."

"So you won't call this a date because you think it's forbidden?" You cross your arms.

"Well not entirely. It's just...I'm scared. There it is. And if we plan to do any sneaking around business I need to know you...shit, this is going to sound so middle school of me...I need to know you're interested in me __."

"For fucksake Jungkook, I wouldn't have agreed to come if I wasn't interested." You move closer to his side so you're inches from his face. "You're the kindest person I've ever known and I'd like to know you more like you've been doing for me the past two weeks. You've gone out of your way so many times for me that I seriously can't keep up. And while I can't say that I'm in love with you since it's much too soon, I've become very attracted to you. It just sucks we're in a bit of an odd position with school and all. But we can make this work. I'm also in post-grad so I don't think we're doing anything that risky."

"What about Taehyung?"

"That's all you got out of what I just said?"

"Sorry, I'm just asking because you seemed into him at the art exhibit. You're both artistic after all." He fiddles with his fingers. "I'm just the guy who you got stuck with this year because you couldn't major in art."

You feel compelled to take one of his restless hands in your own, so you do–holding it loosely.

"Kim Taehyung was simply a visual interest," you say. "I never thought about anything serious with him. He's also faculty so unless he saves my life or something, I'm not really considering anything beyond a friendly report."

A moment of silence is exchanged as Jungkook lets your response sink in. And as long as your eyes aren't fooling you, you'd say he's more than pleased with it.

"So...you really wanna do this?" Jungkook asks with more anticipation than nervousness this time.

"Yes." You nod.

"Wow, okay um, well when do you want to go out?" He kicks his feet back and forth. And when he reflexively squeezes your hand you can't help but grin at his eagerness. "I'm free every weekend if that works for you."

"We should probably get to the end of this date first Dr. Jeon."

"Nooo, I like Jungkook. Can we stay with Jungkook when it's just you and me? Also, this isn't a date. We need a do-over."

You laugh, seeing a new side of him. He's more, hm, whiny than you thought–it's cute.

"Jungkook, we don't need a do-over. This can be a date if we want it to be. It's got all the elements already. Look." You lift his hand in yours. "We're already holding hands.

"Nope. When are you free?"

"How about this coming Friday after 4pm? Is that too far out?"

He shakes his head fervently. "It works perfectly for me. Let's do 4:01pm." Your baffled expression causes his own eyebrows to knit together. "What? You can't do 4:01?"

"I–yeah sure I can but I didn't expect you to suggest a time so soon."

"Well, you said you'd be free after 4pm right?"

You nod.

"Then it's a date!"

He smiles wide and you do the same.

Present

"Kook, grab us a cart. You won't believe what's on sale!" You stuff about five gold-foiled boxes under your arm. The yellow tag next to the price says 75% off which means you are for sure buying at least ten of these.

It's times like these that your husband enjoys watching you most. You can barely reach the self where the clearance chocolate is, nevertheless, you're on your tip-toes with arms fully extended above your head to grab at every box of sweets you can.

His inner hero wants to help but he's learned early on not to get in the middle of you and your favorite snack. It's better he listens to your request to get a cart instead.

"Don't hurt yourself in the five minutes I'm gone okay honey?"

"Mhm," you mumble, not really paying attention. "Kook this chocolate has caramel and orange inside. Oh my god, look." You show him a box of chocolates with cherry filling. "These are to die for. I need like six of these."

"Here give me some of those." Jungkook takes the boxes of chocolates from your arm when he sees them slipping from your hold. "I'll put these in a cart while you keep digging. But if someone else comes along, let them have at least one this time."

He knows how much of a little hog you can get with your candy.

"Are you kidding? Finders keepers." You reach for another box, the ones in the back are always the best.

"__."

"What? I'm doing all the hard work here which means I get to keep all the chocolate."

"Fine, fine. Be sure to check the expiration date too." Jungkook turns around to stalk toward the front of the store. If he doesn't get his butt to a cart soon, his wife is going to turn into a grizzly bear.

A very cute grizzly bear.

But a grizzly bear nonetheless.

"Did we really need thirty boxes of these?" Jungkook dumps the grocery bags on your kitchen counter. "I love you but this is insane. Who's going to eat all of this chocolate?"

"Well, I was planning on sending the twins home with some." You rummage through the bag then move to stack them in the pantry. "They'll be here in an hour so it can be a surprise from us."

"Yoongi's twins? You're going to send the two children whose father is a dentist a whopping bag of chocolate?" Jungkook hands you another box to put in the pantry. The little assembly line works well when putting groceries away.

"I'm only giving them one box okay? So Yoongi can shove it."

You hear a snickering behind you.

"Honey don't push the man who could likely yank all your teeth out of your head and end with, 'will that be all?'"

You roll your eyes. "Yoongi doesn't scare me like he scares you. But if you're so worried I will get his permission ahead of time."

Jungkook's mouth opens in response until he feels a slight vibration in his pant pocket. When he takes it out to check his initial good mood drops about ten degrees.

"Kook?" You watch as he reads whatever it is on his phone.

"Nothing." He switches off the device and places it face-down on the counter. "It's just dad."

"Something about your mom I'm presuming?"

Being Saturday, it's been a few days since Jungkook had his fallout with his mother. They were originally planning to stay in town until Friday but left Thursday morning instead due to Mrs. Jeon feeling "unwanted".

Your husband's been in close contact with his father ever since.

"Yeah," Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh. "She's journaling again apparently. It's what she does to cope with frustrations like me."

"I'm sorry Kook." You rub his arm soothingly. "Maybe she needs some time to think about everything that's happened. I know you want her to talk to you but maybe it's not all bad that she's jotting things down first."

"Yeah, maybe." He takes your hand and presses a light kiss against the back of your knuckles. "It's whatever though, Mom can have her fit. I'm not going to let her ruin one of the only free days I get with my wife."

You smile and quickly peck his soft lips–something Jungkook wishes would be longer.

"Love you," you say and return to your original task of putting groceries away.

 "Listen to me you two gremlins," Yoongi says on a bent knee. "Eomma and I will be back by 8pm. Until then your uncle Jungkook and Aunt __ are in charge. You know the rules, no jumping around on the sofas, don't into Aunt __'s paints, stay out of Uncle Jungkook's office, and under no condition are you to get into sweets."

He flicks his eyes to you for a brief moment then sets them back on the two seven-year-old girls in front of him. They look adorable with their matching space buns.

"But Appa–"

"No Eun-ji."

"Can't I just have one? Pleaseee?" She stares up at Yoongi with large eyes, hands clasped together. His second daughter Ari quickly does the same.

"We promise we'll brush our teeth right after."

Yoongi's face remains unmoved at his twin's relentless need for chocolate. Sure, he may be the one more likely to cave to requests when it comes between him and his wife but sweets were definitely off the table. His girls just got their teeth cleaned a couple days ago too, cavity-free, and he intends to keep it that way.

"Did you even bring your toothbrushes?" He knows for a fact they did not being that they weren't staying the night.

The twins exchange looks before breaking into a goofy grin. Mrs. Min leans down next to her husband at the moment and draws her girls into a hug.

"Appa and I will bring you back something better than chocolate tonight, okay?" She kisses her daughter's cheeks and then stands up. "Be good."

"K..." The twins let out a small huff then turn to set their backpacks on the living room couch.

"Hey," Yoongi calls after them. "Where's my hug?"

You let out a snort when you see Eun-ji face her dad again, tongue sticking out. Her sister gives a similar attitude with her hands on her hips and scrunched-up face. These girls might be in elementary school now but boy, those teenage years are sure to be rocking.

"Turn." You hear Ari from across the living room. She's standing on the sofa with her small hands holding a chunk of your husband's hair.

"Like this?"

"No the other side."

With his legs crossed on the floor, Jungkook shifts his head toward your direction with widened eyes. At this point, most of his hair has been pulled back into tight braids and finished off with yellow and pink hair clips. The only section left to do now was the underside.

"How do I look?" he asks you.

"Oh, you look breathtaking honey." You feel a soft makeup brush swipe across your cheek, courtesy of Eun-ji who's decided you needed a 'makeover'. You're not sure if that means a seven year old cramped on your style or what, but either way, you're getting bronze cheeks and glittery eyeshadow.

It's only been half an hour and the twins were already making you and your husband do their utmost bidding.

"Ari honey," you coo. "You should become a hairstylist when you grow up. You're doing such a good job with Uncle Jungkook's hair."

"I know," she sasses. "I'm good at this stuff Auntie. Everyone says that I am the queen of doing hair."

You and Jungkook giggle from the small child's gumption. It's good she's confident, you mouth to your husband.

He nods back. "Eun-ji's doing a great job too. You should see the glitter she's chosen for you."

"Not yet Uncle Jungkook," Eun-ji pipes up. "She can't look yet. It's a surprise!"

"Ah okay." He throws you playful eyes, eyebrows bouncing up and down suggestively. "A surprise huh?"

You flutter your eyes closed when you see Eun-ji dab her palette and reach forward to paint the eyeshadow over your lids. "Yup." she nods her head. "I'm giving Auntie the best color ever."

"Wow I can't wait to see honey," you say. "This wouldn't happen to be your favorite color would it?"

The tease in your tone makes Eun-ji grin. Of course, you can't see it but Jungkook can and it causes him to break out into a boisterous chuckle.

"You're so cute Eun-ji," he says, clapping his hands together.

"What about me?" It's Ari's sassiness making a comeback as she pushes the final yellow clip into Jungkook's hair.

"You're cute too Ari." You reassure the child and open your lids once Eun-ji gives you the okay. Not a second following that you're thrusted forward a hand-held mirror.

"What do you think?"

You glance at yourself in the reflection, blush blue eyeshadow that covers up to your eyebrows and bronze blush. You have ruby red lipstick on as well, Eun-ji's personal favorite.

"I love it, sweetheart. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." She gathers all the makeup containers and tools she can fit in her hands before making her way to your husband. "You're turn Jungkook."

"Okay, but can I pick what color this time?" Your husband smiles at the child with mirthful eyes.

"No." She sets the make-up in front of him and pops open a bright, Barbie pink lipstick.

"Anti-ti-ti-ti fragile, fragile!"

You watch from the kitchen as the twins jump around in the living room. After your makeover, the girls felt like a karaoke session was in order. They convinced Jungkook to join them so there he is with a microphone in his hand, belting the lyric of 'Antifragile' by LE SSERAFIM.

"Come on __!" Ari calls to you, breath heavy from all the rambunctious dancing. "Sing with us!"

You laugh and whisk the bowl of flour and sugar in front of you. "No you guys keep going. I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Doing what?" She runs up to the kitchen island where you stand, trying to peek inside the bowl.

"I'm making cookies."

"Really?" She rushes to the other side of the island to pull out the stool from underneath. Once she settles herself in the chair she looks at you with eagerness. "Can we eat them?"

"Hmm..." You pretend to think. "Didn't your dad tell you no?"

"Yeah, but you always give us sweets. Even if he says we can't have them."

The child has a point.

"How about this, if you help me make these you can eat them. But you can't tell your dad okay?" Ari nods. "Good, you can stir this for me while I crack some eggs."

"Just what are you doing?" You jump when Jungkook walks up behind you. "You wouldn't be giving these sweet girls something their parents told them they could have, would you?"

"Dad will be really mad if he finds out," Eun-ji joins in on the scolding. She turns down the music from the tv and folds her arms.

"Well I–"

"If you're going behind Yoongi hyung's back you're going to need some help, honey." Jungkook slides one of the kitchen draws open and reaches to take out a small plastic bag. He throws out two brand new kid-size toothbrushes, orange and blue. "Had a feeling we'd need these tonight after seeing you stock up on all that chocolate today."

"Now girls..." He turns to look at Ari and Eun-ji who seem to be busy mixing the bowl of flour and sugar together. "Hey girls."

They lift their heads.

"Make sure to brush twice before your dad gets back. This stays our little secret, understand?"

"Okay," they say in unison.

"Thank you Kook." You lean your head against your husband's firm chest, resting for a moment. This whole situation is kind of funny if you think about it. But you really hope you don't get beef from Yoongi later.

"Anything for you," Jungkook quips and kisses your head gently.

"Ew..." You hear Ari say.

"No it's not," Eun-ji bites back. "It's romantic, like the movies."

Ari scrunches her face at her sister. "No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Nope."

You and Jungkook wait for the two of them to simmer down but they keep going at it. Yes, no, yes, no...back and forth until one of them scoops up a handful of the flour in the bowl and tosses it at the other.

"Uh okay, no more! No more." You and Jungkook lunge forward to sweep the bowl out of their reach.

"How about you let Auntie and Uncle finish making the cookies and you two go back to karaoke?" Jungkook successfully persuades the twins and they run back into the living room in search of the next biggest hit to jam to.

You lock eyes with Jungkook now, wordless.

"Hm?" He hums at you.

"Mm." You shrug your shoulders and move towards the fridge but not before you're flicked with some of the flour yourself–your husband's hand powdery from the mixture. "Kook!"

You wipe your face, and light laughs fall from both your lips.

"Okay girls, get brushing!" Jungkook guides the twins to the bathroom. "Your parents are going to be home in fifteen minutes and that means these teeth need to smell like nothing my fresh mint." He squeezes the toothpaste on each girl's brush.

"Bursh, brush, brush," he chants and you shake your head as you wash the cookie sheet in the kitchen sink.

The twins have eaten about three cookies each and with chocolate stains all over their faces, they're going to need more than a 2-minute teeth brushing.

"Honey, I'm cracking the windows open and lighting my candles." Jungkook rushes around the house in search of his vanilla bean scents.

"I don't think that's going to take away the smell in such a short time. We should probably just take the beating Kook," you holler back.

"Oh, we're definitely getting dragged out tonight." He yanks the candle jars open and lights them. "The smell of freshly baked cookies is still too strong to hide but I'm hoping these candles will act as a distraction."

You hit your husband with the kitchen towel, the snap of it making him throw you a startled look. "Shit–do you not see the lighter in my hand?"

You roll your eyes. "Relax drama queen, you didn't have it ignited yet. Anyway, the candles aren't necessary if we're opening all the windows."

"It'll help though."

"Not really."

"Well, I think they will."

Jungkook goes back to lighting his candles and once he has the twentieth one lit, he's thoroughly pleased with himself.

As soon as the twins finish cleaning themselves up, they help scatters them throughout the house, leaving them in as many corners with surfaces as possible.

"Okay, that's it! That's the last one." Jungkook high-fives the twins and you toss the last dish in the drying rack.

"Good job team." You laugh and join them in the living room.

Eun-ji plops herself on the sofa with her backpack in her lap. "I had a lot of fun tonight."

Ari joins her on the couch with her own backpack in hand. "Me too." She pauses and then says something that you and Jungkook were very much underprepared for.

"You would make good mom and dads."

"You think so?" Jungkook shocks you by responding first.

Ari nods. "If you had kids, we could all play together. And we can have all the cookies we want because we'll be best friends. And best friends share everything!"

"So you want Auntie and I to have kids so you can keep hiding cookies from your dad?" Jungkook lunges forward to tickle the child mercilessly. "You little cookie monster!"

Ari rolls around on the couch, giggling repeatedly. You can't help but feel the thumping of your heart as you watch the scene unfold. And for the slightest moment, you imagine what it would be like with your own child.

All those thoughts are put to an abrupt end however when the doorbell rings.

Jungkook flies to the door to let Yoongi and his wife in. He flashes you a little smile before opening it, ensuring you that whatever happens he's got your back.

"Were you guys baking in here?" Are Yoongi's first words as he and the Mrs step inside the entryway of your house.

"Um, no? No, I don't think so." Jungkook feigns ignorance. "It must be coming from our neighbor's house."

With the twins home with their parents, you and Jungkook curl up together in your bed. You nuzzle your head in his inner shoulder and his arm holds around your waist.

"Those girls are a lot," Jungkook says. "But you know, I have to agree with them this time–it was kinda fun."

"Yeah?" You aimlessly trace circles on his chest.

"Still crazy, but yeah. I felt like I had a lot of good energy inside me tonight. And you know something else?" He looks down at you.

"What?"

"We'd make pretty damn good parents."

You bolt up from your reclined position the second the words drop.

"You can't keep doing this to me Jungkook," you say, your hands gripping the soft comforter. This isn't the first time he's teased you with having a baby and every time he does, you don't know what to take it as.

Is it a joke, is he serious, or just talking?

"You know how I feel and–"

"Hey." Your husband leans up to stroke your back with warm hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry honey. I don't mean to confuse you. I really am thinking about it you know? With everything that's been going on with my parents lately, I know I've been hard to pin down but I really am serious when I say we'd make good parents. Or when I say we might have a possible baby to make one day."

"Might. Could make. Maybe." You stare straight at your husband. "I know you're warming up the idea but you're still talking in such vague terms. I'm not at all trying to rush us to decide on a baby or not. But I just don't want to get a false sense of hope...that you'll say yes."

"Come here." He draws you into an embrace and kisses your cheeks, both of them. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I admit the first few times I was more loose with what I was saying than I should have been. But I swear I, it was never my intention to be leaving you guessing. I'm so sorry."

"I just want to know what you really think Kook. So I can be sure where you're at through this whole thing. The last few days have thrown a wrench at us with all the stuff your mom's been doing. But I'd still like to be in the loop of things."

"Yes, of course. I'm going to tell you everything right now okay?" Jungkook takes a breath. "I want to give you a baby so bad and I think I'm 70 percent there. But I'm also 60% not there because I'm terribly scared that once it happens, once we have a baby...that I'll revert back to my original mindset of not wanting one."

"Kook–"

"Hold on a second."

You close your mouth and allow him to continue.

"I've already started seeing and feeling being around kids differently than before. So much so that I think we could be happy if we started a family together because I'm so happy when I'm with you. And if there's anyone I could do that with, it'd be you and only you. So yes, I want us to have a baby, as many as you want, but I want to be 100% there first."

"Okay, that's fair. I'm not going to lie that I don't feel a little out of body from what you just said. Just to clarify, you're saying yes to how many babies?" You shine your eyes at him. "You said you want to give me as many babies as I want right? How many would that be?"

"My limit is yet to be determined." He grins at you. "It seems I might need to repeat some things if all you got out of what I just said is that I'll give you as many babies as you want."

"No, actually." You grip his hand. "I heard what you said and thank you. I feel a lot better knowing your thought process through this whole thing. We both need to be 100 % in before deciding on this next step in our lives. And about you being worried that you'll revert back to not wanting children. I'm no expert but I don't think that'll be true given your recent exposure with kids has made you feel better than worse. You said it yourself–you had a lot of good energy inside you tonight."

"True. You make an excellent point there. I think I still need some more time though. I was even thinking that maybe I'll....talk to Hoseok about this."

"I'm glad to hear that Kook. Hoseok is an amazing man and I know talking to him about all this will be nothing but beneficial for you."

"Thank you for being patient with me." Jungkook pulls you both down on the mattress, closing his eyes when his head hits the pillow.

"Same to you." You snuggle back into his chest. "I really hope we can have a family together."

"Me too," you hear him mumble before you close your own eyes.

A/N: Yup I told you this would be a long one. Ty for sticking with me! Also, what do you think? Was it a first date or not? LMK your thoughts 🥰

Masterlist

Taglist:

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[sparky-is-spiders]

Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"

This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:

Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.

Just. A weird amount of obsession.

Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.

Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.

It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy. Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team." Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined. Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately; "He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha) "He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting) "He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight)) Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.

Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor. … perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding. So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon. That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).

And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him. Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered. It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging. He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation. His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.

[hood-ex]

Finished JJK S2. Many thoughts below.

I'm kinda "hmm" over the parallels in personalities between the Yuji/Megumi/Nobara team and the Satoru/Suguru/Shoko team. Yuji and Gojo as the powerhouses with loud mouths. Megumi and Suguru as the quieter members. Nobara and Shoko as the boisterous don't take shit ones. Like idk I guess I'm just worried about Megumi in this equation and hoping he doesn't pull a Sasuke (or duh Suguru lmao) at some point.

Speaking of Megumi, he was only really involved in about 3 fights total. I missed him in the bigger showdowns with the others. On the other hand, I'm really glad Nobara got to step in and deal some actual damage to Mahito. Like I said before, fuck Mahito, all my homies hate Mahito. I mean, seriously, it felt like Yuji was getting nowhere with Mahito, so when Nobara got that hit in, I was cheering, I was hooting. I was painting "Nobara" on the back of my shirt. What an awesome moment for her.

Sorry I watched basically the entire series today so my brain is burning, my memories feel like soup rn, I'm going out of order when talking about events. Uhhh... oh I'm glad Jogo and Hanami died. I was sick of them. The difference in the fight between Jogo and Sukuna vs. Sukuna and Megumi's thingy. His... what was it called again? Eh whatever you know what I'm talking about. The pact (?) monster Megumi called forth before he went unconscious. The difference in those fights was super interesting. With Jogo, Sukuna was just having fun and not worried at all. With Megumi's thingy, Sukuna actually had to strategize a bit and such. No wonder he has a fascination with Megumi.

Too bad Sukuna killed those sisters but honestly not surprised. I did like how those sisters revived Yuji/Sukuna.

Oh?? And Choso dude?? The sibling reveal?? You have nooo idea how much I didn't want Choso to get killed off at the very end. I was hoping, I was praying, I was like absolutely not, now that I know he's Yuji's older brother, he cannot die. Ever. Everrr. Bc you know me and my thing about siblings. Love em. I was laughing when Choso was telling Yuji to call him older brother, and Yuji was like dude whaaat lmao. Like shhh, Yuji, shhh. Just accept it. You have two brothers now. Aoi and Choso. Lolol.

Speaking of Aoi, I had a moment where I was like, okay, I can get over Nanami's death because he had accepted his death, he was tired, he was ready to go, but I CANNOT accept Aoi's death. Even the thought of him dying made me start to tear up. He's definitely one of my favorite characters now, which is funny, bc I thought he was just annoying in his first appearance. But the fact that he has Yuji and Takada in his locket?? LMAOOO THIS MAN IS SO UNSERIOUS PLS. Sucks he lost a hand, but I'd rather him lose a limb than lose a life. (Fuck me, he's gonna die at some point isn't he? I will literally sob. I'm not kidding, I will sob when/if that happens.)

Oh yeah and Nanami fucks forever and always. He was so hot for wrapping his tie around his hand like that. Ugh. Love him. Gonna miss him. Hope someone reclaims his weapon. I actually didn't cry over him bc, like I said, he was just... ready to go. He was too tired to go on. I could accept that.

Bro did Maki die?? I mean surely if Nanami survived then maybe she did as well...? I hope she didn't die. I liked her.

Owww my brain hurts, I need to get my thoughts out faster. Uhh... ohhh. Oh. When Yuji witnessed Nanami's death on top of Nobara's death (not convinced she's 100% dead though bc of the medic boy being like idk she was dead but maybe she won't be bc of my healing) and on top of seeing what Sukuna had done to Shibuya... holy fuck... talk about a lot of trauma in a short time. Dude when he just gave up after Nobara's death... and he curled up and cried when Aoi appeared... that hurt me. That made me feel like I was in the stadium of the first Pokemon movie watching all the Pokemon cry over Ash's stone body. It felt like that moment. That sadness and grief just overwhelming. Damn. What a good moment though.

I haven't even talked about Satoru yet. Woooow... the way he demolished all those curses at the train station in such a short time... crazy. Sucks he's trapped in a box. Like idk what else to say lmao. Free my man Satoru.

Omg omg omg can I talk about how two of my favorite moments of the whole series ended up in this season?? So the scene where Nobara talked to that girl from Yuji's high school who had a crush on him, and she called Megumi to come meet them, and then Yuji appeared later. Ahhh!! Squee!!! Megumi was sooo cute! And he was super cute in my other fav flashback scene where Nobara spilled coffee or whatever on Satoru's shirt, and Megumi stuffed the shirt under his own shirt to hide it from Satoru. Like lmao he gave himself boobies. PLS HE'S SO CUTE. MY LIL BEANIE BABY. See, this is why I can't have this man go all Sasuke. I need him to stay on the team for cute moments like that.

And speaking of cute Megumi things, I thought it was so cute when he was planning to die, and he replayed the last words he and Yuji said to each other. Something about them like staying safe/meeting up later or whatever. And he was like sorry I broke my word, Yuji. Something akin to that. :3

Holy moly some of the dialogue goes on for way too long during fight scenes and such. Like I know they have to explain all the techniques and details of curses and such, but it makes the fight scenes seem so much longer, and I'm like goddd please just shut up and fight (I'm literally not retaining any of the info they're saying anyway asldkja)!! Also, some of the fight scenes, even without a ton of dialogue, were just ridiculously long. Like did we really need 3-4 episodes of one fight between Yuji and Mahito?? I was like somebody new please come in and kill Mahito ASAP.

LOL the way that I was like "FINALLY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?" when Yuta finally arrived at the end, only to be like boooooo when he said he was gonna kill Yuji. Like nooo you two are supposed to be friends, okay. Be friends. Amigos. Pals. Fight side-by-side. Nah but surely Yuta will come around and fight alongside Yuji, right... right...

Wow yeah lots and lots of deaths this season. And now Megumi's sister is awake so okaaay...

Also, that Megumi dad dude was awesome as hell. He was freaking insaaane. I didn't care that he was kicking everyone's ass, I was just like let's goooo!

So anyway if any of y'all are reading the manga, please lemme know if Yuji and Choso retain a stronger bond of sorts or if that doesn't happen at all. Or if Choso straight up dies and they never get the chance for any kind of "hey that scar brain dude helped birth us so we're brothers" talk.

!!! I almost forgot!!! Why was Megumi holding Yuji's hood like this lmao. It was cute. And just. the big pile of bunnies.

[batsplat]

your posts are as illuminating as always thank u for ur work... i was watching route 46 route 93 from 2021 recently and sete showed up in that (as in, they gave vale an ipad and made him watch a video of sete lmao) and i thought of you.. i loved that even in that vale is still.. agitated about qatar... ends the segment with "if i had to give sete some advice... it's better if he hadn't done it." about qatar lmfao

omgggg I love this soooo much..... I haven't been able to watch that documentary so I'm immediately incorporating this into all my lore about them... like yes!! see!! he's STILL not over it, he can joke and laugh in the press and pretend this whole thing of 'oh I've actually made up with all my rivals With One Notable Exception' but he hasn't!! certainly not with sete, because that's valentino's whole deal - okay it's one thing to have a rival who kinda annoys him, but a friend who crossed him? oh it's over

this randomly reminded me, there's a bit of the mugello 2006 race commentary I find fascinating (in between all the bits where they were talking about how if sete beat valentino at his beloved mugello then it'd be the 'greatest day of his life' and 'better than any christmas present' which is very funny to me) (obviously he did not beat valentino):

I'm sorry that's a BONKERS level of feuding, like apart from valencia 2015 and cota 2018 even valentino and marc managed to sit next to each other - and even there it was dorna who were like 'yeah no we can't do this lads' not them.... the commentators didn't even mention a specific precipitating event, they just hated each other that much. "they didn't feel comfortable around each other" okay?? what does that MEAN. why are you even letting them decide this. is this not a little silly. remember these men used to go on holidays together!!

thing is I do understand why valentino has mostly shut up about this rivalry when he's not being shown sete's face on an ipad, but also he is giving up on insane bragging rights. I do think the most horrifying aspect of sete's fall beyond the literal 'no more race wins for you buddy' is the kind of... god, he never got revenge! nothing! every time they got close to each other after jerez 05 it was always 'oh sete wants revenge so badly' and he never got it! idk about sete gibernau but I'd be FUMING, even the thought makes me shudder. valentino detonated that entire relationship and sete never even finished ahead of him for the rest of 2004 and 2005. in 2006, he technically did so twice with two valentino dnf's, but was himself in ninth and eighth - when they both finished a race he was not ahead of valentino once after qatar 2004. can you imagine losing that rivalry that badly? no wonder he couldn't bear to see valentino's face for a while there

anyway the fact that valentino's going 'oho he shouldn't have done that!!' about qatar in 2021 and sete's going on three hour long podcast interviews to air his jerez grievances in 2023 does make it kinda funny they were posing together for photos together in 2009 to pretend like war was over. like you people did not mean this come on

[winter-sol]

Levi's characterization at the Valentine's Event and why I live for it (Spoilers)

Am I here to overthink about Levi's writing again? Hell yes I am. I guess I'm analyzing this event and his role in particular because not only I enjoyed it, but also it had so many interesting aspects to notice I needed to point them out. Now that the event is almost over, I hope I'm not spoiling anyone!

I was a little bit taken aback when I played the event and noticed how Levi centric it was. I still have no idea why they made the decision of basically make him the protagonist but you won't ever find me complaining, I love that demon.

(is this the character oriented event for him? Like we had with Satan and Barbatos? It wasn't stated as such, so I'm curious)

So, recapping a bit, a curse triggered by Beel made all the chocolates of the Devildom disappear, threatening Valentine's day. The brothers need to fix it since they're all simps and want to give us chocolate. In fact, Levi is highly motivated to fix it since he wants a special Ruri-chan chocolate (and we later find out there's more to it).

So, Levi's role starts with the Abstinence Brigade (lmao it sounds so funny), where he makes sure everyone is following the plan of not doing the things they love the most.

I won't lie, I was laughing the entire time because he was just SO ridiculous. Exactly as I love him to be. He was loud and annoying, but above that, I was actually nodding at the screen with how consistent he was.

See, if anyone ever had any doubt this guy is a military genius since his role during events is mostly having weird ideas and fanboying over any otaku stuff (*ahem*... Comic relief), I assure you it's not that much of a strange concept.

It's a simple role he had in here, but that didn't make him any less bossy and strict. For someone who's quite sensitive and self deprecating, Levi certainly has a way with how he can give himself the right to command his own brothers, and I assure you this is not the first event I remember him doing it (it's kinda old at this point, but for example the Manga event was all him ordering his brothers around to make a good manga and scolding them for doing it wrong).

He can be really insecure, but when he knows he's right he's very stubborn and you won't convince him otherwise unless you can prove there's a better way or someone more competent to do it.

Now, moving on.

We find ourselves with the two routes. The normal one has this interesting dialogue, with Barbatos pointing out Leviathan had this piece of knowledge that could work out. I shit you not, I laughed at how Levi was once again relevant because there were at least 6 other characters that could've taken that role.

When did he even mention that? Lmao. Who cares, the guy has already been carrying the entire event on his back.

So ok, we all got to see he was particularly invested in fixing this situation, looking for solutions and having an active role. But that doesn't stop here.

The neutral route is saved thanks to Diavolo, Barbatos and Simeon and, yay!, everyone gets their little chocolate gifting scene if that's what you chose.

But still, the goddamn route still has an ending scene with him particularly. WHY. That was a surprise, but not as much as...

The unlockable route 🔑

So the story has moved and nothing worked from the original plan. Mc and Beel head to the cafeteria at night after hearing a rumor about an evil spirit appearing there at 3am. Turns out it was... Levi. Levi trying to cook chocolate because he needs to fix everything and restore chocolate in the Devildom.

I'm not gonna delve into Levi's growing as a character, romantically speaking, because I believe it's pretty noticable to anyone. He's not as much as a hater as he was before, and since he's in love, he actually appreciates Valentine's day now. That was really cute and made my heart go doki doki, of course. But c'mon, let me talk about his bossy attitude and sassy remarks cuz I live for them.

His way of speaking is always direct and blunt, even sounding mean. But what I love about it is the fact he never intends it as a passive-aggresive personal attack. It's more like an objective take of the truth and him feeling entitled to it (man that's some extraverted thinking if you're into MBTI). It might not be to everyone's taste, but it certainly is mine lol

Moving on, not only he feels responsible, but since the plan with all the brothers failed he's actually trying to solve it himself. Since MC and Beel are helping, now he's leading and guiding what to do next.

So it kinda fails as well and Beel gets horny weird all of the sudden. So here I absolutely adored this dialogue.

Hell no, he's not going to get moody and self deprecating, he's kinda confident now you two are a thing now.

Also, Beel can kick his ass and he'll still stand strong. Man, I love a "loser" (cuz we all know he isn't) who's willing to fight for me.

But the last thing I wanna remark from this scene is how, when he needs you to prepare the antidote while he distracts Beel, if you pick the choice where you're insecure about it, he does it himself. Like, I thought he was gonna be like "you can do it!" But no, he takes the time to prepare the stuff himself. And without any bickering, he thinks fast and does it quickly.

Man, how can I not be a simp when this guy's character is so multidimensional and consistent? Yes, he's weird, loud, has crazy ideas all the time, and is always described as annoying and disgusting for being a hardcore otaku.

But damn, he's also dependable, strong and intelligent. As much as he's in his own head and his own world all the time, he's quite practical, detail oriented and good at problem solving. And as I mentioned before, this is not the first time we see him like this.

(also, have you all seen the lyrics from the song "Trigger"? The guy does a 34 seconds rap on how he's smarter than others might think, he actually sees everything, but somehow he's still insecure. fuck, his character is so coherent it's even flexing at this point)

A long time ago I made a post about my own expectations regarding Grand Admiral Leviathan, and this event is feeding me even more to believe there's so much interesting material to work with Leviathan's character. It's so funny how it starts all comic relief, but turned out to be so good he's third at the popularity contest. OM Nightbringer, I surely hope you can deliver and do justice to all this potential.

Did I write too much? Yeah, but I needed to make this analysis and appreciation post.

As always, I'm open for discussing it further or fangirling together.

Oh, and I hope you all enjoyed the valentine's event (and the real life valentine's day) 💖✌️

[fish-bowl-2]

Ok. I had this ask in my inbox for the longest time. I am so sorry anon. I tried to answer it earlier, but I was on vacation with only access to Tumblr mobile, which is a major pain in the ass when it comes to editing drafts. TWICE all my answers got deleted. Here I am for round three but on a desktop computer, so I can finally set these thoughts down worry-free.

Admittedly, it is kind of hard to rank the kids from favorite to least favorite. Obviously my favorites are the Eds, but I see value in all the characters, and can name any number of episodes where I find one or the other entertaining. One of the benefits of having a small tight-knit cast. I hope you don't mind if I just rank my thoughts on them alphabetically.

Jimmy: His inclusion within the show is super interesting to think about. Not that I am an expert on the social climate at the time, but there are way more diverse male characters in children's media now than there seemed to be back then. Not that Jimmy's depiction is perfect, but I find him very likable and entertaining in a way that I laugh with him more then AT him. If there is anything about his person that is made fun of is his tendency to be accident prone, rather than his effeminacy directly. I think people undervalue the amount of good lines he has too. He often says stuff that totally catches me off-guard lmao.

Johnny: Of all the kids, he is the one I think the least about. I admit to finding him kind of grating, but I think that is VERY intentional seeing how the other characters react to him on the show. He still has fantastic moments though. Episodes that come to mind are "Dear Ed", "Rent-a-Ed", and "Shoo-Ed".

Kevin: I think he is SERIOUSLY funny. There are so many moments where his deadpan humor just gets to me. I think I've laughed out loud the most with his comebacks. I like the approach of depicting him too. He plays the 'bully' role for the Eds, but that doesn't make him an entirely unlikeable muscle-head. If anything he appears more unimpressed and suspicious of events that transpire. I like that 60 Minutes detail in the pitch bible a lot not only because it is funny, but it establishes something interesting about his paranoia. Especially emphasized in the episode "See No Ed". I also really like his friendship with Rolf. In a lot of other kid shows it would have been an easy choice to have Kevin bully the "foreign" kid, but instead they are buddies. Really emphasizes how targeted the Eds ostracization is.

Lee: I really like her! I think she might be my personal favorite Kanker. I like how unashamed her aura is, and her design is my favorite (granted I think all the Kankers have good designs). I am going to repeat this a lot with her sisters, so I might just say it here: I really do wish there was more exploration into their personalities. I think this is my biggest gripe with the show as a whole. It feels at some point the team couldn't really figure out what to do with them, which is disappointing. (I think they have been quoted to say as much but I cannot vouch for that. If anyone desires, feel free to pull up a source or link).

Marie: I feel she is the Kanker with the LEAST defined personality, which makes her difficult to analyze. With Lee, even though there isn't anything extensive to go by, I can inference that she seems to be the "oldest" of her sisters, and takes on a leadership role in a reflection of her Ed-of-interest. May is definitely the "baby" of the girls. Somewhat ditzy and sensitive, which gets her pushed around. As for Marie, I guess she is jealous??? (maybe this is an unfortunate reality to being the middle sibling </3) She doesn't really share much with Double Dee like Eddy and Ed do with Lee and May which makes this even more difficult to pin down. To me she seems to mostly share a connection to him in design. I kind of subscribe to the interpretation that she is avid in "street smarts" in comparison to Edd's "book smarts", but that more of a headcanon than something confirmed by the show. I don't know, I am confused by her a bit. Because of this lack of...anything, I find it interesting that so many 30+ year old 90s kids are so enamored by her. This is definitely the unfortunate side-effect of being a fictional goth/emo aligned girl.

May: Of all the Kankers, she is the one I feel has received the most defined personality throughout the show's evolution. By no means is it a lot, but it feels like she is way more than just a "dumb ditz" stereotype to match Ed. I think this is why so many fans connect to her, and it feels like she has grown pretty popular with the fandom on here as a result.

Nazz: She's chill. I like her. She doesn't have much of a dynamic personality to go off of though. Honestly, even less than the Kankers who have that whole nasty, gross girl thing going on that makes them really entertaining and relatable. I do like how that in the earlier seasons she is depicted as a bit of a tomboy/skater girl. It is a lot more unique than making her simply a "popular girl" stereotype, and actually makes it understandable why all these preteen boys would be all over her. She genuinely seems cool to hang out with. A lot of the time she appears to be amicably hanging out with Kevin, which I think is sweet too.

Rolf: Who doesn't love Rolf lol? I've gotten into arguments with my sister on whether his depiction on the show is politically incorrect or not. I don't think he is by any means a squeaky-clean impression, but I don't find find it to the level of any kind of cancellable offense, or by any means racist! I think the fact that his upbringing is inspired by Danny's experience coming from an Italian family emphasizes a bit of acknowledged sympathy to the character. Not all the neighborhood kids understand him, but that doesn't ostracize him. If anything, he seems to be seen as a bit of an elder or "sage" if you will, in the eyes of the other kids. I think that element is super interesting and deserves to get talked about more.

Sarah: I think she gets way too much hate. Of course she is super annoying and mean, but that is kind of the package of the role she plays. If she was super nice all the time there wouldn't be a lot of stakes for the Eds. I think her bitter vendetta against Eddy is so funny. Her friendship with Jimmy is great as well. I really love strong girl characters being protectors of a boy character. It is such a good take on an otherwise overly used trope.

[hannahssimblr]

Hey, Hannah, how are you? Sooo ... I've read Lucky Girl on Wp. (Staying up until 3 AM in doing so.) I was crying and laughing. Crying especially when Evie had to say goodbye to Shane, Claire and Jude. I love the end where you showed all the key places where Evie and Jude had been together. That and a bit of the story reminded me of La-La-Land. I love the epilogue. Smiling all the time while reading. What I kind of expected was that Evie would spend more time with Jen and help through their traumata. I'm in love with your story! Your describing of the scenery. ❤ The photocollage of snippets of your life. ❤ How much percent of your life is in Lucky Girl? Did you know a Jude? And there is always a third option and I love that Evie chose it. Thank you!

ahh omg <3 I saw that you had continued to read on WP and I'm honoured that you chose to rather than just reading it as it was posted here every day. It's a bittersweet ending, there's no doubt but it felt so incredibly right for Evie to choose herself, not what others wanted for her ultimately.

Yes! This is one of my minor regrets about the story - the Jen story line could have been more, but i realised too late that in order to tie it all up neatly I'd have to extend the length of the story so much, and really, the story was about Evie and Jude. I was sad to kind of let that thread go, but it was for the benefit of the main story. If I had another chance at it I think I'd handle that part differently.

Haha great question - it's hard to answer because none of it? all of it? Every emotion that Evie feels, I also felt at some point, but none of the things that happened to her happened to me in exactly the same way. It's kinda like I took events from my life and mixed them up, added in some events from my friends' lives too and baked it all into a big cake. Overall it's an amalgamation of how it felt to be me as a teenager/woman in my early twenties, though actually, I was always a bit more like Jude than I was like Evie.

Yes! I knew a Jude - he was the inspiration behind the entire thing. I don't think I've talked about this before? But when I was sixteen I met a very tall, very funny and very handsome boy with an interesting accent who kind of made me challenge all of the ideas I had about life and myself. We never got together, he moved away when he was nineteen, but the whole experience I had with him was one of the most joyful and painful (and important learning) experiences I ever had.

He showed me that handsome/popular people were in no means out of my league as I had thought (lmao) but also that things don't work out well just because you both have strong feelings or because you feel like you have earned the right for them to. The story of this boy is longer than Lucky Girl, but yes! I'm glad you asked. A version of him is real, and out there somewhere walking around, Thirty two years old now, and we don't speak anymore. He has no idea that I've made content inspired by him, and he's a creative person too (a filmmaker) so honestly, who knows, maybe he's done the same thing about me.

Your question has made me very misty eyed and sentimental haha - thank you for sending me this! And thank you even more for reading <3 There is more to come with Lucky Boy, so maybe that'll be interesting to you too

xx

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

A Cup of Tea and Paracetamol pt 2/?

I’m back with part 2! Sorry for the delay, last weekend was wildly busy. This part features a staunchly miserable Elijah, so I hope you guys enjoy that. Unedited, basically unread by me until I look at it later and hate myself for a random spelling/grammar mistake. Part one can be found here, if you’re interested in reading that/understanding what’s going on in this part lmao. I’m thinking this is going to be 3 parts, and the final one should be up later this week (hopefully. No promises lol). 

OH ALSO I am very much so not from England, I’ve never been outside the US so I’m sorry if I say something that sounds super weird or wrong about England. Just go ahead and pre-suspend your disbelief that basically no cold medication can be found in London while you’re at it. This is fiction and it’s at the mercy of what makes my characters the most miserable lmao. 

Enjoy!

cw: male sneezing, colds, contagion is mentioned but not explicitly in this part

A Cup of Tea and Paracetamol (pt 2)

“Stop laughing.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m not laughing, I’m getting it together,” Greyson took a deep breath slowly, but it came out once again as a squawk of a laugh. Elijah elbowed him hard in the arm before snatching his bag off of the moving carousel.

“You’re an ass,” Elijah grumbled, moving towards the exit.

“Boss, hey, I’m sorry, man,” Greyson said jogging a bit to keep up with Elijah. “But I mean, come on. It is kind of funny.”

“I literally cannot think of anything less funny,” Elijah said, pulling his hand sanitizer out of his pocket for the millionth time that day and squirting the last of it on his hands. “That was a fucking nightmare.” The sick man Elijah had been sitting next to literally couldn’t have done a worse job of keeping his germs to himself; he had basically sneezed and coughed for the entire seven hours, minus maybe thirty minutes of snoring with his open mouth facing Elijah. Greyson hailed a cab as Elijah shuddered; at least it was over.

“We’re gonna have to find an English CVS or something,” Greyson mused. “Do they have Emergen-C here?”

“I have no idea,” Elijah said, massaging his temples before opening the cab door. “Let’s just get away from this godforsaken airport.”

The ride to the hotel was thankfully quick, and by some miracle, the gift shop in the lobby did stock Emergen-C. Greyson and Elijah loaded up, dropped their things in the room, and headed out to dinner. Their first day was completely blown because of the flight and the time difference, so over their meals Elijah was busy texting the contact for the event.

“What’d she say about the product we ordered?” Greyson asked, his leg bouncing nervously under the table. Elijah gave him a pointed look and showed the chef his text stream with the contact – a woman named Samantha.

“She said she has it all,” he said as Greyson read through their texts. “Stop worrying so much.”

Greyson snorted. “That’s rich coming from you,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “The king of fuckin worrying.”

“It’s a festival event, Grey. We’ve done a thousand of them. It’s not like we’re doing it in Mumbai and we don’t speak the language.” Greyson shrugged and Elijah sent off another text.

“Okay,” Elijah said, clapping his hands together. “Tomorrow: prep. It’s 1,000 portions, if we get to the kitchen at seven, it’ll probably take us ten hours to get everything done.”

“Seven?!” Greyson asked, incredulous. “Isn’t that like three in the morning our time?”

Elijah shrugged. “We have to get it done, Grey. We don’t have the team help us; I think the event provides a couple of culinary students, but that’s it. It’s gonna be a long one.”

Greyson groaned and put his head in his hands. “Fine,” he said after a moment of mourning his sleep. “But I’m gonna complain the whole time.”

Elijah chuckled as he flagged the server. “I’d expect no less.”

***

Greyson peeled his eyes open at the ass-crack of dawn to see that the bathroom light was on and the shower was running. Jesus christ, he thought, does Elijah ever fucking sleep?

The chef rolled unceremoniously out of bed and grudgingly shoved his legs into jeans and his arms into his chef coat. It was so goddamn early. He was so goddamn tired. While buttoning his chef coat, Greyson fantasized about running away, skipping the event and just enjoying London like it was a vacation; beer and fish and chips in a dark pub, strolling through museums with no schedule, taking a long ass hotel nap and then going to a Michelin-starred restaurant for dinner. Yeah… now that sounded like a trip.

Just as he was about to pound on the bathroom door and ask if Elijah had fallen in, Greyson heard his boss’s breath hitch.

“hehh...huhNGTSH-uh!”

Oh, mother fucker.

“Lij…?” Greyson called into the bathroom. When he didn’t get an answer, he knocked tentatively. “Y’okay in there?”

Greyson heard nothing for a moment, the a sudden – “HGTSHH-ue!” Greyson set his jaw in anticipation, and just as he was about to knock again, Elijah opened the door.

“I’m good,” he said, his voice slightly lower than it usually was. “You ready?”

“Uh, yeah,” Greyson said, motioning to his getup. “Are you sure you’re alright? I heard you, uh… sneezing.”

“I’m fine, Grey, just steam from the shower. C’mon, we need to meet Samantha in the lobby in five minutes.”

Greyson followed Elijah silently to the elevator, and continued his silence as they descended to the lobby. He couldn’t lie; he was worried. Worried about his boss, a bit, but mostly worried about the event - if Elijah was sick, who was going to work the booth with him tomorrow? He couldn’t do it himself, he knew that much for sure, but, to be frank, he was fairly scared of invoking Elijah’s wrath by asking if he was sick, or even offering to get him medicine. Instead, while Elijah went through the finer details of the event with Samantha, Greyson snuck off to the giftshop, bought two bottles of water, and filled them both with Emergen-C. Before Elijah could notice he’d left, Greyson breezed back to the lobby and placed a bottle in his boss’s hand.

“What’s this?” Elijah asked as he waved goodbye to Samantha. Greyson shrugged.

“Emergen-C. Long flight, long couple days; better to be safe than sorry.”

Elijah gave Greyson a pointed look, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he unscrewed the cap of his water bottle and chugged half of it.

“Right,” he said, screwing the cap back on. “Let’s go check out the kitchen.”

***

Not to be dramatic, but Elijah really wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through the weekend.

It was about seven hours into prepping the short rib nacho they were serving for tomorrow’s event, and Elijah’s eyes were drooping at even the thought of another seven hours. He’d definitely been entirely too optimistic about his and Greyson’s abilities to get this knocked out in ten hours; the culinary students he’d assumed would be helping them prep were, as it turned out, scheduled to help run the booth tomorrow, not cook with them today. Elijah and Greyson were balls-deep in chopping, searing, frying, and basting with no end in sight. And it really didn’t help that Elijah couldn’t seem to get one little thing under control.

“hehhNGTHSH-uh! HGSTH-oo!” Elijah sneezed into his elbow for what felt like the billionth time that day and sniffed as hard as he could before returning to slicing potatoes on the mandolin.

“Careful,” Greyson said, also for the billionth time. “Do you want me to take those over, boss? We really can’t have you slicing your finger off.”

“Ndo,” Elijah said, wincing at how his own voice sounded. “I’mb good.”

Whatever monster of a cold the man on the plane had had yesterday, it certainly traveled quickly. Elijah had woken up that morning with a scratchy throat and slightly runny nose, and now at just after noon he was fairly sure he was dying. “HETSSHCHH-ue!”

“Bless,” Greyson said, curt. At the beginning of the day, Greyson had been sympathetic – almost overly sympathetic, bordering on neurotic. He’d offered to buy Elijah medicine in the gift shop, which Elijah had staunchly declined until about ten am. After the third offer, Elijah had broken down and given up on the ‘I’m-not-sick-I’m-totally-fine’ charade. “Fine, yes, find me what they have.”

But Greyson had come back empty-handed, with exception of the mystery drug the man on the plane had requested yesterday – paracetamol. After a quick google search, they found out it was pretty much just tylenol.

“Tylenol??” Elijah had asked, dumbstruck. “That’s really all they have?”

Greyson had nodded. “I asked the woman at the front if there was, like, a drug store somewhere that sells dayquil and she had no idea what I was talking about.”

“You have got to be fucking shitting – HGTSHH-oo! Huhh...hehESTCHHH-ue! Snf.” Elijah wiped his face on his sleeve, defeated. “Shittigg mbe.”

He was not. A call to a local drugstore confirmed that dayquil and nyquil weren’t available in the UK, and their best bet was going to be the paracetamol. Elijah had tried to stifle a groan, and Greyson had offered his sympathy.

“I’m sorry, boss,” he said as he browned the short ribs in a huge tilt skillet. “I can ask the front desk to make you some tea?”

After Elijah had grumbled something about hating tea, Greyson had sighed and seemingly given up on the niceties. Now, several hours later, he had taken to not even mentioning Elijah’s condition.

“HRETSSHHOO!” This one caught Elijah off-guard, and he ended up doubled over his legs with his arms over his head to keep from contaminating the food. “Mbother fucker,” he mumbled, moving towards the hand washing station to blow his nose. From across the kitchen, Elijah heard Greyson sigh.

“Boss,” he called as Elijah threw away a handful of paper towels. “Go take a break.”

“Grey, we have so mbuch left to do. I’mb not leaving you.”

“Lij, please. Just go lay down for an hour or something, I literally am standing here with my stomach in my asshole freaking out that you’re not going to be able to do the event tomorrow, so please please just go and take a nap with some tea. Please.”

Elijah raised an eyebrow at Greyson and coughed lightly into his fist. “What the fugck are you talkigg about?” he asked, walking closer to the chef.

Greyson ran a nervous hand through his hair, then, noticing what he’d done, snapped the gloves off his hands and threw them in the trash with much more force than was necessary. “I’m just worried, dude, like you look like fucking hell. You look like you’re going to fuckin keel over, and I literally cannot do this event by myself. I can’t, Lij.”

Elijah huffed out a laugh that turned into a dry cough. “Greysond,” he said, as gently as he could muster, “I don’t care if I have two brokend arms and two brokend legs. I’mb going to be at the event. Okay? It’s a cold. I’mb fuckigg miserable, but it’s a cold. It’s gonna be fine.” He placed a careful hand on the chef’s shoulder and shook him lightly. “Okay?”

Greyson let out a shaky sigh. “Okay,” he said. “Good,” Elijah said, giving his friend’s shoulder a squeeze. “But you’re right about onde thing: we ndeed a break. And I think I mbight take you up ond – HGSTHH-oo! HRSHH-uh! Huhh…hhNGSTHH-ue!” Elijah groaned into the sleeve of his shirt and took the paper towel Greyson held out to him. “Ond the fuckigg tea.”

[possibilistfanfiction]

(1/2) Yeah absolutely, I get what you mean with Ava just being blissed out by Beatrice. I guess I phrased it wrong, not necessarily about directly comparing B to a bro, but it's more like, I wonder if Ava - in the same way that Beatrice is allowed to explore her identity - if Ava allows herself be introspective and examine her own attraction and ~types, so to speak. But maybe it's not needed?

(2/2) Like is Ava in the gog so on the other side of identity acceptance that she can just be ~present with B and isn't really hung up on a needing to further explore herself within the relationship? Like that natural freedom she has to her helps her make peace with concepts comes to her much faster and more naturally than B? (Also thank u for ur time u legend)

ok i'm not Entirely sure what this is getting at but just to clarify a few things that i think it's asking:

1 ava's experience of/with queerness is profoundly different than bea's. i don't think that ava's ever struggled with being queer any more than she's struggled with not having the access to experience everything she wants. for ava, desire is so integral to her ability to experience what life is ('i want to live') without systemic, more than any, limitations, & so it makes sense that queerness would just be a part of how to fully access pleasure & want & love & safety. (there's so much more in here about how if ava had been given care & access then being disabled wouldn't have taken away any huge degree of pleasure from her life, but that's for another day! whew.) bea's experience with queerness is one of fear, of it being 'a flaw,' one that made her feel not valued, not worthy. so even just within their characters, i don't think that ava's exploration of queerness is internal so much as it is just... getting to feel the things that come along with love, especially queer love. bea's is allowing herself to be who she is, in whatever way that may be or look at the time. also, ava is white, & bea is Asian, & there's cultural & systemic harms that come along with intersections of identity (including ava's disability too, of course). so i think ava's queerness is an external exploration, in a way, & bea's is just like. letting herself feel anything at all, & then working for that to be positive.

2 listen... ava isn't on love island lmao.

she liked JC, maybe even loved him in a way, & then Fell IN LOVE with bea. even if she did have 'types' (which is like... beyond a little laugh, kind of weird in most cases), i really just do not fuck with the idea that masc of center women, especially butches & dykes, are in the same category as cis men. butches & dykes are like... god tier (so are femmes, y'all know i love u!). but like, even if ava DID have types, bea with short hair & a good pair of pants isn't anywhere close to JC in any categorization?? maybe if ava was like hmm soft butches?? hot.... bea, tasha cloud.... awesome. but bea & a boy. no. i think ava's 'type' is just people who show her patience & kindness & are funny & smart. beyond that, she's just glad she's hot & they're hot

3 there are so many ways — infinite ways!!!! — to be butch! & they're all beautiful & they're all hard to come to! i think i write abt bea's queerness bc a) i love writing abt being butch bc i love being butch lol; b) being butch is abt private decisions you have to make, all the fucking time! how do u want ppl to read you as a woman/dfab person who isn't a trans man but like... doesn't feel like a CIS WOMAN? do u feel safe to be masc? what does androgyny & masculinity look like TO YOU? butchness for me is actually so fucking soft, & wonderful. i don't picture (or write) bea as a stone or hard butch; there's a comfortable breath of an in-between there: cottons & linens & soft hair & clean skin, a big bed, a little mascara, the very rare suit but not often, & only for events. it's on purpose, bc i think ppl often have a p reductive view of masculinity & butchness, & femininity & femmeness, & all the gentleness that exists in being a dyke kind of gets lost. it's just... not femme. there are so, so many ways to be soft butch especially. & those are all decisions that have to be made all the time. like it is constant &, while having a partner who is truly just along for the ride is helpful, my wife being supportive of me hasn't made those decisions on my behalf. i have to make them, every day, every time i get dressed, every time i put on a watch or shoes, even just to like... go to the store. it rly is smth u are constantly figuring out, even without like hyper-homophobic parents fucking you up as a kiddo. so yeah, i think, if ava wants to try anything w appearance, bea wouldn't care at all, she would be just as happy. but like... the essence of being a dyke isn't abt appearance so much as it is everything, & aesthetic is just a way to reflect who you are. & i know i've written this, very clearly lol, but bea's queerness (& ava's, & anyone's) has absolutely nothing to do with who they date, or marry, or love, or fuck. being queer is a politic, an expression, a way of existing. being a dyke is those things in spades, with a very, very special orientation toward liberation throughout history.

4 w my life partner, & my friends, all i care about is that they're happy. like legit. are ur material needs met? do you feel loved by me? -- if those are both good strong yeses, then like... we are good. i cannot imagine loving my partner less if she wanted to do literally anything aesthetically other than maybe like... a giant face tattoo or something lol. but exploring expression? i would never feel less than proud or brave. do i have favorite stuff? of course! do i think my friends sometimes make decisions that are not the cutest possible? of course! so do it! bc i want to! bc i want to try. & so yeah, i don't think ava would ever think less of bea, & i don't think bea would ever think less of ava. it's not like, a lack of care abt being physically attracted to someone, it's like... u love that person, & their body is gorgeous. ava's disabled, too, so u know there is profound care that bea shows & has to grow into as that changes & shifts too!

anyway i still don't know what this was rly asking lol but... butches/dykes should not be in the same category as cis men at all ever lol; ava & bea are just horny & in love. rules of thumb

[mamamittens]

You know, June is a really strange time for me.

As part of pride month, it kinda makes me reflect on my own very weird journey about my own sexuality and identity. Even now, I'm not entirely sure I have it all figured out. I just kinda ended up sliding in pieces that make the most sense.

Pieces I didn't even pick up until way later than most of my peers, though I know it's not nearly as late as many others.

I literally didn't even consider my sexuality until college as part of a preparation for possibly talking to a guy about if I was interested like I suspected he was. He was and I very much was not. Literally didn't occur to me that it was odd I'd never initiated romance or had crushes before that point. I mean, I had one. In kindergarten with my then best friend because I thought he was cute and funny.

I still remember him fondly but we didn't talk after first grade lol, so that didn't go anywhere.

Then there was the introspection and research as I realized my experience wasn't normal but also was? Like, demi sexuality isn't the norm by any means, but it's hardly crazy. Some part of me was always this way, just compounded by my asocial nature in such a way it literally never came up until one dude on the verge of taking the red pill tried smoozing me for two whole months.

And I didn't realize until near the end of that time. I just liked talking to someone new. It was nice.

Bullet dodged, he was convicted with DV charges a few years after, yikes.

Then again, summer tends to be when I do the most introspection.

Had an ongoing panic attack for June and July a few years back, which was... Something.

Realized I was very likely autistic about two years ago now, like, RAD-S score of 163 kinda likely lmao (thanks for not telling me you opted to not get me tested, mom, I appreciate the sentiment but damn would I have approached certain things differently if I knew from the start my baseline wasn't the norm).

I've come a long way from the little girl on the swings who liked the boy she considered her best friend for maybe a month. The very lost but well intentioned young college student baffled by the void of interest compared to her peers. Someone more comfortable associating with an alien avatar cause my body didn't feel right in a way I couldn't explain. It's mine, I've grown in it for so long, but I hated so much of it. It took so long to appreciate what I have. To really look in the mirror and think "that's me. It's me. Despite everything... It's still me".

I'm still not sure how much I identify with feminine aspects. I feel "female" simply because that's what I've got. And I do think I'd be a bit thrown if I suddenly was physically male (dicks sound like more trouble than they're worth, honestly). I don't think I'd hate it beyond inconveniences though.

It's just so... Casual for me? Not serious? Apathetic. If you called me sir irl I'd laugh cause it's hard to not notice my tits, but I wouldn't be offended.

As for sexuality... I like the idea of romance. Of a partner. But I've never hung my hat on an ideal partner, really. Partly because for the longest time I could never imagine anyone wanting me like that. Why would they? I'm not hideous but I'm hardly worth the trouble in any aspect. Better fish out there and all that.

Just a weird little alien looking at the stars.

But I'm working on that.

Still tooling the words to describe what it's like being "me".

It's not been smooth, this journey. I've felt silly, and stupid, and unwanted. I've hated my reflection and the numbers on a scale. Wondered what I was missing that others had and let them experience all these crucial steps to growing up.

Sometimes I still do.

But I've begun to settle in my skin like I never could before. Even the ugly parts.

Pride months is a time to celebrate and reflect on the LGBTQ+

The people, the struggles, the victories.

I'm ill prepared to do an event at this time, but I hope that you all take a moment to appreciate how far into your own journeys you are. And I hope that you all find peace in your reflections and names and labels (should you use them, change them, or even come back to them after a time), no matter how different they are from the start.

The only one who can decide what you are, what kind of person you are, is yourself. You're the one who will have to wear and walk in those shoes.

And I hope you travel far in them, and see many beautiful, wonderful things.

"...It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."

William Ernest Henley, "Invictus", 1888

[dyouevendraw]

About me

So, I thought I’d probably be best to just make a pinned post with some info so I’m not just a void who throws art a a wall. (I’m probably gonna edit as things change) But here we go:

My tiktok is dyoueven

My instagram is dyouevendraw

My name is D, sometimes people still call me Fay, I don’t mind that either

I’m 22 years old

I use they/them pronouns, I’m fine with he/him too. I’d call myself nonbinary or even agender, leaning towards the masc side. It’s a struggle

Additionally to that, I am ace and my romantic attraction is 🤷🏼. I like androgyny and femininity if that says anything lmao

I have a hypermobilty condition, thus, my physical health is very inconsistent. Sometimes I feel fine for weeks, sometimes I can barely move my arms. Luckily, I don’t dislocate easily, I mostly get joint pain, pinched nerves, random bruises and badly healing wounds. Additionally, I seem to have a mild variant of long covid, which is making my lungs weak, so sometimes physical activities winds me badly even though it’s not hard work.

I am autistic and only found out around 2 years ago, thus, school burned me out! I was bullied by my teachers and they ignored all the signs of a struggling student, so I developed bad social anxiety (added by other events with former friends and general genetics probably). I took a year off of art to focus on getting a better mindset, and I guess I’ve been back since this year.

I am a clumsy and unlucky person, that’s why I say I am like Xie Lian a lot (send me a Hua Cheng)

I like k-pop. Currently, I like BTS, TXT, SKZ, LE SSERAFIM, New Jeans, Red Velvet and SHINee.

Other artists I like are: Tatsuya Kitani, Eve, The Oral Cigarettes, Vaundy, King Gnu, Queen Bee and MCR (what a mix)

Fandoms I’m in include(I’m sure I’ll add more danmei when I’m done reading them):

TGCF (I have beef with it but I’m deeply in love)

MDZS

SVSSS (still reading, on volume 2)

JJK

AOT

Sometimes I like Marvel. I only care about Spider-Man and Loki

TLOZ

Pokémon

(Always open to suggestions for more things, especially when they’re queer🤠👍🏻)

I write my own stories and am working on an AU that includes many fantastical being, though I am not entirely sure if that’s ever gonna see the light of day bc I don’t see anyone caring about my writing lol (it already has 137.000 words I’m not even joking it’s not funny, why am I writing this)

I’m sure I’ll post more of my OC’s when I find the time. My favorite is Harumi, he’s the main character in the fantastic beings AU, as a werewolf

I am so sorry my humor is super trauma based, bare with me it’s okay to laugh at my pain, it’s how I process, I swear

My favorite food is anything indian (especially aloo mutter, I bathe in that), pizza (only the one I make), and (red) thai curry.

That’s the only thing that sets me apart from Xie Lian, I eventually did learn how to cook and apparently people like my food!! (I add cinnamon and chili to everything, maybe that’s the key?)

I love building lego and organizing things by category (why I didn’t get diagnosed with asd is beyond me, I’ve always been like that)

I mostly draw on an Ipad with procreate, but I wanna get into watercolor and copics too, I just feel like I’m wasting the suff when things don’t turn out how I wanted them to be

I am horrible at texting and get anxious over it

I had another account here I was running for years, but I was in a pretty icky fandom and didn’t want to associate with the reputation that came with it, thus, I left. I am not the stupid, hurt and depressed teenager I was anymore, and that’s great!

I am german, though, I speak English so much I might as well be a native speaker

That’s it for now, you can always feel free to ask my questions, my (anonymous) asks, submissions and reblogs are always open, I just won’t answer if you’re rude🤠✌🏻

[imaginethathaikyuu]

HELLO! i’m back after reading everything for part 1 a few days ago. the first thing that came to mind was how it did NOT feel like 8K words, and none of the scenes felt wasted in any way. when reader brought yachi along i was surprised to see how you eased her into the team, and i think her skill to bullshit as a scammer was something reader thought could help them? i don’t think she actively tried to recruit yachi, but when yachi tagged along reader was probably not just thinking of her plan to teach yachi a lesson but also 5-steps ahead—hence why she was so casual in stuffing yachi into a role to entertain Ten. and also, the fact that akaashi looked extremely angry at the beginning but he softens so much at the middle only to harden at the end??? i think it’s because he doesn’t approve of reader’s methods to teach yachi?? he did say that one time while they were talking. i’m so intrigued how the “fake dating” will sprout, because we can see clearly that it’s obviously not fake. although keiji doesn’t want to settle with reader, he was the one who initiated intimacy in the warehouse even though no one was watching, aka there was no need for him to even act intimate. i’m betting on that scene alone that keiji does have real feelings for reader, but why he doesn’t want to settle…. idk. i’ll have to read and find out!

and as for other things (about keiji and reader), the fact that they quarrelled and act like enemies the next day when they were all mushy was soooo funny, and leading to the old lady telling the tale…. THAT CLIFFHANGER! and also, i know u probably don’t mean it to be funny but reading “2 body guards—one buff and one scrawny” is such a visual irony i laughed. and also, the whole scene with Ten… what inspired the flow of events? it felt so legitimate like you were actually in a con job. and also, with reader working with such high profile…… wow. wonder who she’s working for. she seems like the leader of the team but the story did mention she had to join while as clueless as yachi—i wonder how she rose to her current position!!!

love the series :) thanks for writing it. this was mostly a mind ramble and i didn’t backtrack to edit so i’m sorry if some parts don’t make sense. — keiji enthusiast anon (kea)

ahhhhh!!!! thank u so much!!!!! im sorry its taken me a few days to reply i was just so excited about this ask and had to sit down and take time to reply well enough!!!! right after reading this ask i literally immediately went and wrote an entire scene for part 2 like u dont even understand how energizing it was. like i love u sm fr

i'm so glad u liked it :')) i worked so very hard on this part and had so much trouble with the flow of it all so im glad u thought it was good!!! more information about yachi will be revealed in part 3:)) lets just say reader may have been causing trouble for yachi far longer than yachi thought o_O but this definitely wasn't a recruitment plan in the way it happened to work out, but reader is very good at changing plans last minute. when yachi begged her for a ticket to LA i think it softened her heart a little bit lmao

akaashi and reader literally feel SO strongly for each other but it can either manifest in gross icky lovesickness or insane burning hatred. like theres no in between for them. its ALL or NOTHING!!! and i go into that a lot in the next part. part 2 is very very different from part 1, but its my all time favorite, i love it so much and i cant wait to post it so all the secrets can be revealed<333 i wish i could just say everything now but that would be no fun!!!

also idk how obvious it was but the two body guards were bokuto and kudo :) idk why Ten would hire kudo as a body guard like hes a fifty something 5'5 stickbug but hes also very convincing idk man

ALL the background info on reader is revealed in the next part....as well as on akaashi....and the start of this team in the first place... i mean ALL!!! its so fun to write u dont even know

i got a lot of inspo right from The Great Pretender!! i took ideas from it and twisted them around to fit this fic in a concise way. in the first few episodes they pull a drug scam against a movie director with japanese candies and fake doctors and lots of guns, it lasts like multiple episodes, and i just took that idea and made it a lot shorter and less detailed so itd work here lmao. i think thats the only direct scam i pulled from the show so far? i may take one or two more for part 3, but yeah thats where the inspo came from!! it was very difficult because i am not a con artist but i tried my best lol!!

thank u so much for the amazing ask it really does mean so much to me that u took the time to read it AND tell me ur thoughts on it, it brings me so much joy and makes me that much more excited to keep writing. feedback is the only thing that feeds writers!!! so thank u for feeding me so well!!!!!

[koishua]

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡: 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛 𝗦𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗟 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗

an entire sweetheart mixed with a decent amount of a pain in the ass. he had been your friend before anything, so you know how he functions, having spent years with him. honestly, calling him your bf makes you feel a tad bit weirded out for a seconf because you had always called him your best friend for so long ugh

it’s always a good kind of weird though :( it feels very surreal. 

none of you wanted to risk breaking your whatever sort of tension filled friendship going on.

he had actually prepared to confess to you on multiple occasions with all of the scripted words and all that jazz, but each time, when push came to chove, he would chicken out lmao

same would be for you, too nervous to do the deed and just. freaking. confess???

honestly, life would have been so much easier for the two of you had either of you put on your “big boy pants” on lmfao

your confession would end up being a spur of the moment kind of deal

rest is under the cut!

you’d be play-fighting each other in his room since he wanted to test out his new taekwondo skills on you smh (which reminds me!! you definitely have had a few bruises because you challenged him bahahaha)

and you’d roll around on the floor trying to outmaneuver each other and lock them down

bam.

your forehead smashed against his and then the back of your head ended up thonking on the side of his mattress ;-; pain. 

he is dying out of laughter when that happens :’) he is wheezing and struggling to breathe, immediately going over to your side to pull you up and cradling your head in his arms

not thinking about anything because it all seemed very funny, he would press a kiss on your forehead where you had bumped into him :((((((

and then

yeah he would burn bright red when he realised what he did sdfbvhfcb

you’d just sit there, frozen and baffled by the events that had just occurred.

cue the awkward silence because you are teens and have to make everything so awkward lmfao honestly his blinks are so cute istg he would be looking like a deer caught in headlights

you would wordlessly decide not to talk about whatever that had just happened to each other and bring it up huhuuhuh. 

the tension would still linger the following days though djbvfj every brush of your hands, every stray look casted at each other, every smile and laugh would feel so much more different than they were before. 

one day you would both have enough of stepping around egg shells around each other and just burst :(( cue the awkward teen confessions hehe oml he would feel like crawling into a hole and just... stay to rot because he stumbled over his words a few times while trying to say that he likes you ;-; cute.

after that, it’s pretty smooth sail though wbk yang jungwon best boy :(

your friends would look suspisciously at you whenever you’d have one of those silent conversations with your eyes during class :’)

jungwon isn’t sappy, he hates mushy gushy yucky sweet stuff bahahaha. that’s why it still feels like you are just two best friends who sometimes hold each others’ hands for a little too long, stare at each others’ faces for a little more than usual and stuff :(((( just very wholesome without being too djcnvldfjkbd if you know what i mean 

that doesn’t mean that he won’t do sweet gestures to you both at school and when you hang out together outside :(

he would take your bag out of your hold without giving it much thought, walk according to your own pace and let you rest your head on his shoulders to take a nap during breaks if you felt tired ;-;

istg everything feels so natural with him once you get past that awkward “are we friends? are we more than friends?” stage :’)

you would attend his tournaments and cheer for him ugh <//3 his heart would definitely burst when he sees you on the side with his mom and sister sdjcbjcb (i’m imagining this and busting a big fat uwu internally because tournaments have such a special atmosphere imo. i miss it oof- ;-; )

he would definitely be shy whenever his friends tease him about his actions near you dfuhbdfj wants to curl into a ball and roll away merrily lmao

would walk you to your classes if you have seperate ones :( 

also, r.i.p because he would definitely be giving you funny faces whenever you try to give a presentation or answer a question on the board bahahah

a lot of high fives for any small accomplishment lmao it’s very endearing

always searches around for you whenever he is happy or nervous :(((( just- he is always on the lookout for you okay? he feels more relaxed if he knows you are there

when you two are alone, he loves to sneak his fingers through yours and intertwine them together, loving the way it would feel. it’s very comforting for him :(

also, he doesn’t mention it, but he dies and cries a little inside whenever you play with his locks because IT. FEELS. SO. GOOD. IT’S SO CUTE. PLEASE NEVER STOP TOUCHING HIS HAIR.

he somehow remembers every detail about yo and the smallest things you ever mentioned :( uses that ability to surprise you ;-; <//3

also, play dates with maeumi ;-;-;-;-;-; you’d run around and goof off, just the three of you :(( he always has a blast with you and just generally loves the time he spends with you <//3

he loves teasing you and judges you for your horrible decisions a lot lmao like that one time you decided to mix two unmixable ingredients together in your smoothie and almost ended up throwing up the drink in his kitchen sink lmfao

he has so so so many blurry pictures of you taken at who knows what hour and where because you literally cannot make out anything from the picture except the fact that it’s you bahaha

he has his homescreen set as you :(( he kept the shot of you playing with the plushy claw machine with your wide eyes and excited jumping when you managed to win a llama plush toy as his wallpaper for the longest time even though the quality wasn’t the nicest since he had also been just as excited as you were :’(((

smiles dumbly to himself any time he opens his phone lmao he also has blackmail material with your meme faces he had manage to catch vidsjkcn;jk not that you don’t have the exact same stuff as him >:)

you caught him singing once and would never let him down because HE. SOUNDED. SO. GOOD.?????

you would beg to make him sing any chance you got because everyone deserved to be serenaded by his honestly very unique and loveable voice ugh

he would end up agreeing to participate in a mini karaoke event that had popped up at your school, goofing off for you but still sounding amazing istg how is he real???

you have more than a few recordings of his dance covers he would show you sometimes and you would learn new choreos together :((( you’d almost die laughing the first time you saw him popping in his sleep, a recording of that stashed in your phone storage bahaha

also, jungwon may not be clingy at school or outside, but whenever you have sleepovers together,,, oh boy is he soft ;-;

once he is tired and ready to just crash and sleep, he would let down his teasing and transform into a softie <//3 i just cry at the thought of his holding you by your middle and not letting you go anywhere while he starts dozing off ;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

he is a shy boy when it comes to physical affection, so no pda lmao not in public he would absolutelu combust :’)

but when no one is there to watch, he smiles so wide when you pepper his face with kisses ;-; 

i’m soft <//3

loves waddling slowly around while hugging you, swaying left and right while his arms are wrapped around you and you try to just go the living room to grab your phone from the table sjbfdhcb

loves it when you cup his face and run your thumb over his dimples ;-;-;-;-;-;-; 

oof- anyways, i’m getting carried off omg okay bye this is the end of it <//3

[awkwardtickleetoo]

Lee!Dream Month - Day 3

if you haven't seen the event post, you can click here to look at the prompt list/rules and check out llama's blog <3

(I also would like to add that the nickname giggle bug at the end was 100% inspired by @twordishfics bc I read their fic the other day that uses it and it's been in my head ALL DAY so thanks for that lmao)

lee!dream month prompt 3 - mask

lee!dream, ler!george, ler!sapnap, 810 words

enjoy!!

--

"I think we start with a couple of you wearing the mask, and then move onto ones without it," Sapnap suggested from his place at the table. "That way when we post them we can do a few of each and build up the suspense more. Also so we don't give people a heart attack from the shock of going 'holy shit this is literally Dream's face reveal', y'know?"

George hummed in agreement and nodded, both of them looking over at Dream as he picked the mask up from the chair and held it in his hand.

"Yeah that makes sense," He confirmed, nodding as well. He fiddled with the clasp of the strap as he spoke. "One of you is gonna have to direct me though, this thing is literally impossible to see out of."

"Yeah, that's fine," George said, shifting his chair closer to the empty one between him and Sapnap. "Here, come sit, just pull your camera up."

Dream slipped his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera, handing it to George as he sat down in the middle of his two friends. He unclaimed the strap on his mask, running a hand through his hand to push it out of his eyes before positioning the porcelain over his face.

"I really can't see shit in this thing," Dream commented, fingers sliding around to the back of his head to redo the clasp.

"Is it the same as the masks we had for Halloween?" Sapnap asked as he propped Dream's phone up against the bowl in front of them, messing with the positioning and angles as he spoke.

"Worse, probably. Most of those had eyeholes, even if they weren't super good ones, this ones just, like… solid."

"Mhm… George, you should've seen us during that photoshoot, it was so funny," Sapnap said as he finally got the camera angle right, leaning back and messing with his hat and the way the hood of his sweatshirt was sitting. "Dream couldn't see, like, 2 feet in front of him, he kept tripping over stuff and reaching out to hold onto my shoulder so he could feel what he was doing.

"It wasn't that funny, I was so stressed out."

"It was that funny. I literally had to hold his hand so he could find a chair to sit down in."

"Oh my god, no way!" George giggled as the thought of Dream stumbling around clumsily behind the mask.

"Also I kept doing this thing that Dream hates but he could even stop me, here look."

"No, no, d-ON'T!" Dream yelped, practically jumping out of his skin when Sapnap reached out to skitter his nails along the side of his neck. He scrunched up on instinct, his shoulder shooting up to his ear, and his hand swatted around like he was trying to shoo away a bug. George and Sapnap both laughed at his reaction. "It's not funny!"

"Yes it is, look!"

"Sapnap, st-OHOP!" Dream's voice got louder as Sapnap dug his fingers into his side, his entire body recoiling and crashing his shoulder against George's with how forcefully he jumped away from Sapnap's fingers.

"No, I think that looks fun, wait," George piped up, and Dream whipped his head towards where he assumed George's voice was coming from as he curled to the other side to avoid his fingers.

"George, no!" Dream held out his hands before George even moved to tickle him, giggling to himself when a moment of silence passed without anything happening. Suddenly he felt a hand reach around his back and poke at his ribs, making him squeak and jump away again, this time ending up leaning fully against George. "Oh, god!" Dream exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around himself protectively, residual giggles fizzling out as the other two laughed with him. "You guys are so mean."

"Noooo," Sapnap said teasingly, wrapping an arm around Dream's shoulders and rocking him side to side. "We're not mean, you're just so fun to mess with, huh, giggle bug?"

"Noho, no, don't call me that," Dream felt himself flush at the nickname, grateful that they couldn't see his face behind the mask. He took a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders before asking, "Can we finally take the pictures so I can take this thing off? I'm starting to see spots back here."

George chuckled and gave the camera one last adjustment, giving some vague directions to Dream by telling him to lean back or scooch left a little or put your arm around Sapnap, like that, yeah, good in order to make the picture look better.

He also made sure to point out every time Dream hesitated in lifting up his arms to put his hands on their shoulders, embarrassing him further each time.

Dream feared this would be the longest photoshoot of his life.

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Life Without Colour {Steve/Plus Size Reader/Bucky}

Soulmate AU: Your vision is in black and white until you meet your soulmate. You and your boyfriend, Steve Rogers, aren’t each others soulmates but you love each other. He introduces you to his friends, the Avengers, and a very odd thing happens.

Characters: Steve Rogers x Plus Size Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Female Reader

Inspired by a tiktok trend lmao. i don’t usually enjoy love triangles, i find it unfair but couldn’t get this idea out of my head.

i might make this a series??? what do we think??

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

PART FOUR

PART FIVE

PART SIX

Life with Steve was a comfortable life. It was a good life; full of love, affection and happiness. You’d always felt like something was missing and something was missing. You hadn’t seen colour yet. When you met Steve, you knew that you weren’t soulmates yet he asked you out anyway and you said yes despite knowing that. You almost hated the life of soulmates and the fact that you had one soulmate, what if they lived miles and miles away? What if they were dead? What if you never met them? There were too many questions and not enough answers. You knew of some people who never met their soulmate and their vision was always in black and white. You also knew of some people who had been in large crowds or had been drunk, met their soulmate or at least glanced at their soulmate and either couldn’t find them in the crowd or the next day didn’t know who they were and there was no telling of who it could be because their vision was already colourful. So yeah, you weren’t a fan of the soulmate thing.

Steve had met his soulmate, it was Peggy Carter. The moment he met her as he stood in the line up in the army and she scoped them out, his world flooded with colour and so did hers. He hadn’t hidden this from you at all and you admired that; you admired his honestly. He smiled on your first date when he noticed you were apprehensive, “We’re not soulmates, it’s okay.” You relaxed then, “I like to think that there’s more than just one person out there for me. I like to choose my own destiny.”

It wasn’t long before you were in a committed relationship with him. He was like a breath of fresh air, so caring and kind and you had never been in love like this before. Steve was the closest thing to a soulmate as you’d had. You wished that he was your soulmate, it would ease your mind so much and it would have made your life so much easier. People didn’t think you and Steve should be together, you were regularly met with comments like, ‘You’re just setting up for heartache when you find your soulmate.’

You and Steve had spoken about what would happen if your world flooded with colour and you met your soulmate. Honestly, you’d expected a fight to break out but Steve was so kind about it and so level headed, unlike anything or anyone you’d ever seen before. ‘It would hurt me but I said on our first date that we weren’t soulmates. I love you, (y/n), and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I trust you. I would trust that you would be open with me and let me know what you want to do. I can’t stop you from being with your soulmate so if you wanted to get to know them and see where it goes then I wouldn’t stop you. I just want you to be happy and I don’t want to hold you back from it. Just know that I love you and I believe in us.’  You told him that no matter what, you loved him first and he meant everything to you.

Life with Steve was good. You’d been dating for the best part of a year now and things were going good. You’d met most of the team and regularly met up with Sam and Nat, two of Steve’s closest friends. Steve told you all about his past, he told you all about Peggy and all about Bucky and you loved hearing stories of his past. The way Steve spoke of Peggy made you a little jealous but you couldn’t compete with his soulmate besides, he loved you. He was with you, planning a life and future with you, so you didn’t mind when he reminisced. You hadn’t met Bucky yet but you’d heard all about him. He was laying low in Wakanda, Steve told you, to try and undo the mind control that HYDRA had done to him.

‘I can’t wait to meet him one day,’ you said with a smile, ‘I can’t wait to hear all of his stories about you growing up.’ Oh how you would grow to regret saying that.

It was at Tony’s birthday party that your whole entire world changed and that is where this story begins.

“Do I look okay?” You asked Steve as you walked out from the bedroom. You wore a dress that was a little tighter than what you’d normally opt for, it showed off more curves; hugging your larger stomach and your back rolls.

Steve grinned at you, “Beautiful, sweetheart. I love that dress on you.”

“You don’t look half bad yourself, Captain.” He was so handsome, with that gorgeous smile and his hair styled to perfection. He wore black suit and tie, “My god, my boyfriend is the hottest man alive.”

Steve laughed as you approached him, planting a kiss on your forehead, “My god, my girlfriend is the most beautiful girl alive.”

You looked up at him, wishing that you could stare into his blue eyes and see the shade of them, “I love you, Steve.”

“I love you, too.” A large part of him wished that you had seen colour when you saw him, in fact the majority of him wished that. Deep down, he worried what would happen if you met your soulmate. He trusted you, god he really did, but it worried him. He hadn’t loved like this since Peggy and when he lost her, it almost broke him and he didn’t know if he could do that again.

He kissed you softly and pulled away all too soon. People didn’t understand your relationship, they always questioned whether or not you could be in love with someone that wasn’t your soulmate and the answer you told them was always yes, you can be in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate. Soulmate didn’t mean romantic, soulmate could be platonic too. You told them that you got butterflies whenever Steve kissed you, you missed him every time he was gone, you thought of him all the time and you knew; you knew that he was made for you. People just didn’t understand.

“Let’s go, love,” Steve said as he pulled away, “I gotta show you off and tell the world how beautiful my girlfriend is.” He just always knew exactly what to say, always knew how to lift you up and make you feel confident. Being a plus size woman dating Steve Rogers, America’s hunkiest superhero, it always made you feel a little insecure. When reporters or tabloids took a photo of the two of you together, the comments would always talk about you not being good enough for Steve. The media was a toxic place, that favoured white skinny people and hated everyone else. Your weight did not define your beauty or your worth. You were beautiful and you demanded respect. Steve was good for reminding you of that fact. He had been the one to tell you to wear this dress, he had told you that you looked like a Greek goddess and that Aphrodite herself would be jealous.

You had been to a few of Tony Stark’s parties before and each was always grander and wilder than the previous. This time though he had promised that it would be more intimate than the previous ones. Usually, half the city piled into the Stark Industries turned Avengers Tower and partied until dawn so you didn’t trust him when he said that it would be a more private event.

Low and behold, Tony Stark had been telling the truth! There were maybe one hundred to one hundred and fifty guests, which was still a lot but it was a lot of people you knew. A lot of SHIELD employees were there, Maria, Fury, the guy that played Galactica (you really should learn his name). Tony had invited the team, family, friends, reporters and even... “Is that Paris Hilton?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, appearing at your back, “I built some tech for her dog Tinkerbell so that she could talk to her years ago. She’s pretty cool.”

“My god.”

“Welcome,” Tony grinned, “Champagne?” He asked, snapping his finger and suddenly, a waiter came to you and offered you and Steve two glasses of champagne. You took one and sipped at it, “Love that dress, (y/n), love the colour.” Tony winked at you before getting caught in a conversation with Pepper.

You looked down at your dress, “Yeah, love the colour,” you muttered sardonically. Steve glanced at you, feeling a pang of sadness for you, before pointing over to Nat and Sam. Natasha smiled at you, complimenting your dress and your hair.

“Steve said the colour goes well with my eyes. He said that it’s red.” you said with a smile.

Nat looked at your sadly, “Still nothing?”

You shook your head, “No. I mean, I’m half hoping that I’ll wake up one morning, look at Steve and it’ll happen. I wish it could’ve been him.”

You and Nat had become close over the year, she was funny and kind and she always made you feel better about anything that was going on. She could also be stubborn and sarcastic but she was such a good friend, “Anyway, enough about me,” you said with a smile, “Bruce made a move yet?”

Natasha smiled as she looked over to Bruce, “Uh, yeah, actually.”

“Shut up!” You grinned, taking another sip of your drink, “When? What happened?!”

“He asked me on a date.”

As Natasha spilled the beans on her and Banner’s painfully slow budding relationship, you hadn’t noticed someone walking up to Steve who stood a few feet away and hugged him. You didn’t notice Steve’s laughter and comment of, “It’s so good to see you, man.”

After a few minutes, Steve interrupts you and Natasha, “Sorry, sweetheart, there’s someone really important that I want you to meet.”

You cock your head, “Sure, who is it?”

You can’t see them, Steve’s figure hides whoever it is. Steve grins and you can tell whoever it is is super important to him, “(y/n), I’d love for you to meet my best friend. (y/n) meet Bucky and Bucky meet (y/n).”

Steve steps to the side and your eyes look up and suddenly, you’re staring into the most intense blue eyes, “Bucky...” You whisper as colour floods your senses. The black and white fades from view and instead, colour floods into your vision. There he is, Bucky, the best friend of your boyfriend and apparently... your soulmate.

Oh, fuck.

Bucky’s smile falls as colour floods into his vision and he finds himself staring into your eyes, the first colour that he saw; the first face he’d seen in colour; his soulmate. The two of you stare at the other, unable to move or speak. Steve watches the two of you curiously, “You two okay? Don’t tell me you hate each other already.” You didn’t know what to do. How could you tell your boyfriend that his best friend was your soulmate? You couldn’t. You knew that it would crush Steve. You open your mouth but nothing comes out.

It’s Bucky who forces himself to look away from you and clears his throat, a smile plastered on his face, “No, just surprised that you never mentioned how beautiful (y/n) is.” He’s handsome, you’d known that for ages by all of the photos that Steve had shown you but he’s really handsome with a tanned complexion and short dark hair. His eyes were a deep shade of (what you would soon learn to be) blue and they were lovely. They looked sad; haunted almost and had such intensity that it made you feel self-conscious the longer you stared at each other. He wore dark pants and a white shirt that had the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, his metal arm glinting in the light. Bucky Barnes was your soulmate. 

Steve’s arm wraps around your waist and pulls you into his side as he presses a kiss to your forehead, “I’ve heard so much about you,” you say, forcing a smile, “Steve talks about you all the time.”

Bucky extends his hand, almost unsure whether he wants to make physical contact with you. You look at his hand and up to his eyes before extending your own hand and shaking it. He has a firm handshake with calloused hands from years of dealing with weapons and you let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding. There wasn’t a spark or that electricity that people talk about. People described touching their soulmate like being shocked yet it was just a hand and it was just for a second.

Bucky smiles as he drops his hand, “I hope it’s all good stuff he’s been saying.”

“Of course,” you say, “I thought you were Wakanda though.”

“I was,” Bucky nods, “but I’ve been free from HYDRA for a few months now and I felt confident enough to come home again.”

“Even got a new haircut,” Steve grins, reaching out to ruffle Bucky’s newly cropped in hair.

Bucky rolls his eyes, “You remember when you were the five foot four scrawny kid that could barely reach my head if you reached up? I miss that.”

Your head hurts from all of the bright colours; so many bright colours all around you that made you wince. You didn’t know how people just adapted to the bright colours. There were so many and you didn’t know what their names were, “Excuse me, I’m just going to get some air.”

You turned on your heel and left, trying to ignore Bucky’s eyes that bore into the side of your skull and instead walked towards Tony’s balcony. You could feel your breathing quicken as your heels tapped on the marble floors as panic rose in your chest along with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Turning the handle, you opened the balcony doors and slipped out. Thankfully no one else was here so you were free to express whatever emotion you wanted. You looked out at the city, away from the party, as you let yourself feel. The city was beautiful, overwhelmingly so. Your hands trembled as they clung to the railing, terrified of what was going to happen next. Bucky Barnes, Steve’s best friend, was your soulmate. Out of the seven billion people in the world and your soulmate just had to be your boyfriend’s best friend.

Your breathing was ragged as you tried to calm down your sense of panic as bile rose in your throat. Squeezing your eyes closed, you breathed in deeply through your nose, “You’re okay,” you whispered to yourself, repeating the mantra over and over.

You were so focused that you didn’t realise someone else had stepped outside with you and were approaching you, “Look at the sky,” the voice said; the voice that made a shiver creep down your spine, “It’s okay, just look to the sky, (y/n).”

Opening your eyes, you looked to the sky. You didn’t need to look to know that it was Bucky, “The night sky is the same as it always was; still dark with white stars. Slow your breathing down and focus on the stars.” You did as he instructed, forcing yourself to breathe slower and deeper and forcing yourself to look only at the stars. It was minutes later when your breathing was slow that you felt confident enough to look out at the city, “How you feeling?”

“Overwhelmed,” was all you said.

Bucky nodded, leaning against the railing and looking out, “They’re amazing, aren’t they?” He asked, sparing you a glance, “Colours, I mean. I have no idea what each one is. I don’t know what’s blue or red or green but they’re beautiful.”

You nodded, “Yeah... What colour of eyes do you have?”

“I’ve been told blue, why?”

You pointed, “That colour. That billboard that’s talking about pizza. That’s blue. It’s the same colour as your eyes.” It was a lovely shade of blue actually; a deeper, more intense blue.

Bucky pointed to a flashing light across the way, “That’s the same colour as your dress.”

“Red. Steve told me that this dress is red.” You looked over at the light, “I’m too scared to look at the dress. It doesn’t feel right. He bought me this dress, he compliments how well it suits me and I’ve just discovered colour with his best friend.”

“I know... It’s the last thing I wanted or thought would happen.”

“Honestly, I would’ve preferred my soulmate be Loki, no offense, but that would’ve been much easier than this.” 

Bucky laughed slightly, “I’ll drink to that.” He drained the rest of his champagne before setting it down on the ledge, “Steve told me all about you. Whenever we’d call, all he wanted to talk about was you.”

“All Steve liked to talk about was you,” you said to him, “I suppose we’re the greatest loves of his life right here, Peggy aside.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Told you about Peggy, huh?” You responded with an ‘of course’. Silence falls on the two of you and it’s Bucky who breaks the silence a minute later, “Look, it’s gonna be awkward. We can try and pretend this isn’t there but we’ll always know but... I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, “Shouldn’t we tell him?”

Bucky shrugs, “If that’s what you want.” I don’t know what I want right now. I want to have never met you, Bucky Barnes. I want to go home and to curl into bed with my boyfriend. I want black and white vision back, “This would... destroy him. I don’t know if I’m prepared to tell him, not yet at least. Could you?”

You thought about it, going through scenarios in your head, “I want to but... I don’t want hurt him.”

Bucky nods and looks out towards the cityscape again, “So, it’s decided. We keep it a secret and don’t worry, we can try and avoid each other and pretend that nothing’s happened... Deal?”

You nod, “Bucky... I’m sorry.” You didn’t know why you apologised but you felt a pang of guilt that you’re his soulmate and nothing can happen between the two of you.

Bucky laughs but you notice that it seems a little forced, “If only I’d met you first, doll, eh?” You laugh with him slightly, only quiet and only for a second, “I’m sorry too. This isn’t easy so I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to avoid me like I’m the plague,” you tell him, “I don’t want Steve to get suspicious but he’ll get suspicious if we’re never around each other...” Bucky nods and tells you that he understands, “My god, it’s all a bit complicated.”

You feel a pang of guilt again that you’d be hiding it from Steve but it’s for the best. At least for just now until you and Bucky kind of understood everything and got a hang of the new world in front of you. You didn’t want to lie to him but you couldn’t tell him this... not yet anyway. Bucky mirrors you and sighs, “It’s for the best.” He nods, “We’ll tell him eventually...”

Bucky gives you one last smile before he turns and leaves. He pauses and walks back over to you, “It’s nice to finally meet you, (y/n).” He says sincerely, “You really are beautiful, Steve’s a lucky guy.”

You look up at Bucky and you know that anyone would kill for him to be their soulmate, “It’s nice to meet you too, Bucky,” you say, voice barely louder than a whisper, “It’s nice to finally know who my soulmate is even if it can never happen.”

He takes a breath before going inside and it’s then that you finally look down at your dress. The colour surprises you, it’s bright yet dark and deep and rich and it’s beautiful. Steve had done a good job picking this one out. You lift your head and notice Steve approaching from inside.

You turn your back to him, taking a deep breath, before he’s beside you, “I saw the two of you talking,” he says happily, “You like him?”

You turn to him, about to say something when you falter. His eyes. His marvellous blue eyes. They were a few shades lighter than Bucky’s, brighter. You find yourself melting into them. You love them. Steve says your name, snapping you out of your trance, “Sorry, champagne went straight to my head. Uh, yeah, he’s lovely,” you say with a quick smile, “He thinks really highly of you, Steve.”

Steve grins, “I’m so glad that the two of you get along, I was so worried in case you didn’t. I was even worried in case it turned out that you two were soulmates because Bucky sees black and white too!” Steve laughs and you want to cry. You want to blurt out the truth; you should have told him. Dear god, you should have told him then and there but you don’t. Instead you force a laugh and laugh with him. Steve notices nothing.

You talk for a few more minutes before you tell him that you’re really tired and have a migraine coming. It’s not a lie. “Can we go home?” Steve nods, shrugging his suit jacket off and draping it over your shoulders.

“Let’s go.” He leads you back inside and you find yourself unable to look at anything other than the floor, “Let me say bye to everyone first, okay?” He presses a kiss to your temple before weaving through the crowd to find the team and say bye. He’s back barely a moment later and as your leaving you accidentally bump into something hard; really hard.

“Jesus!” You hiss, grabbing your shoulder.

“Shit, sorry-” It’s Bucky. Of course it is. Of course. You can barely look him in the the eye longer than a second, “You okay? I promise the other one isn’t that hard.”

Steve mimics his question of asking if you’re okay, you nod, “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, I’ve got a migraine, didn’t see you.”

“You know, I have a migraine coming on too,” Bucky says, rubbing his head. That was what finally seeing colour did to you, you supposed. “You two heading home?”

Steve nods, “Yeah... What about hanging out some point this week?” He asks Bucky, “You could come for dinner... Sunday?” Steve looks to you, “We’re not busy, are we?” You shake your head.

Bucky glances at you almost looking for your approval before he answers. You give the tiniest of nods and Bucky relaxes, “Yeah, sure. Sunday sounds great.”

Steve grins and the pair hug, “I’ll text you tomorrow and we’ll set it up.”

As the pair say their goodbyes, you look up at Bucky, meeting those blue eyes. God, you just need to go home and sleep. Maybe this is all a bad dream, maybe tomorrow you’ll wake up and everything will be black and white again and the guilt will be gone. You muster up the strength to say goodbye to Bucky before Steve leads you out of Stark Tower.

It’s a long car ride home and you’re only fifteen minutes away in a car. The drive is long and all you can think about is Bucky, nothing romantic but more you couldn’t believe that your soulmate is Bucky. The universe is fucked up; getting off on causing the biggest love triangle of the 21st century.

Steve asks if you’re okay and all you can say is, “Tired.” He frowns at you, knowing something’s bothering you. He knows you the best out of anyone on his planet so he knows exactly when something’s wrong. He puts it down to the migraine and tiredness but there’s something niggling in the back of his mind as he drives you both home, something that makes him think that something else is wrong and bothering you.

As soon as you get to Steve’s apartment, you kick off your shoes and ask him to unzip you. He does and immediately, you step out of your dress and go to put some pyjamas on. He picks up your dress and follows you into the bedroom,  “Are you sure that nothing is wrong?”

You sigh, “I’m fine, really. This migraine is just doing a number on me and I’m tired. I think I just need to sleep.” Steve lets you get dressed and brush your teeth. When you come back into the bedroom, he’s in bed waiting for you with a bottle of water and some migraine tablets, “God, I love you, Steve Rogers.” You take the medication and the water and set it down on the bedside cabinet. 

He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead once you’re settled into bed, “Get some sleep, sweetheart. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Something you always envied about Steve was his ability to fall asleep quickly. He always said that it was a perk of the super solider serum. Within three minutes, Captain America is snoring beside you, arms wrapped around you tightly. You try to sleep but all you can think about, all you see when you close your eyes is Bucky’s piercing dark eyes staring into your soul. When you do get to sleep, those blue eyes haunt you.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky can’t get your face out of his head. He lays on the floor of his apartment, the cold wood cooling the heat of his body. He can’t stop thinking about you. After years of wondering who his soulmate is he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that it’s his best friends girl. Bucky sighs and rolls over.

If only I met you first, doll, eh?