#the fat is just a sexy bonus ^.^

[ark1os]

.

I didnt know the tags woulr be so much i shouldve just wrote a long vent 😭😭😭 rip

[feanoryen]

What you're favorite female Targ says about you

(For simplicities sake, I'll only mention the ones who have the last name Targaryen but I'll be skipping out on ones we don't know enough about from Daenerys of Dorne to Egg's daughters.)

Daenys - You hyperfixate on long dead characters who did 1 important thing that changed the history of the world.

Visenya - You want to bed her AND you want to be her at the same time. You heard "dark, sensual, unforgiving" and found it the sexiest description ever. You almost see her as a goddess rather than a person, you practically worship her.

Queen Rhaenys - You love a women with duality. You respect House Targaryen's matriarch for having hobbies, having fun with pretty boys, & burning entire armies. You also hate the Dornish.

Rhaena the Black Bride - Fat chance you aren't straight. You think she should have been Queen regnant (you'd be 100% right) & you're a Maegor & Jaehaerys's anti. You have a soft spot for sexy sad women

Alysanne - You love a girlboss who can manage motherhood & a 9 to 5 job. You also appreciate how she's the only Targaryen who fought for SEVERAL WOMEN's rights, not just her own.

Aerea - You're a rebellious teen who had a rough upbringing. Her death broke you because you know she deserved so much better.

Septa Rhaella - Are you sure your favorite character isn't just Rhaena?

Alyssa - You also want to ride 2 dragons (Meleys & Baelon).

Maegelle - You love a good nun.

Daella - You're want someone to take care of you for your whole life, except unlike Daella, you're not scared, you're just lazy.

Saera - You love a girl who serves cvnt (quite literally). You're the biggest Jaehaerys hater.

Viserra - You're incredibly pretty and incredibly petty. You know how the world hates to see pretty girls winning.

Gael - You probably have a helicopter parent.

Rhaenys the Queen who Never Was - You're a feminist & you love girlbosses. You 100% hate Jaehaerys and you have 0 love for Viserys I who you think she should have been Queen instead of.

Rhaenyra - You're a feminist & you were 100% the favorite child growing up. If you have a step-parent or half-siblings, you definitely hate them.

Helaena - You're probably a show enjoyer first & foremost. You probably simp for Aemond who you ship her with.

Baela - You might be a tomboy but not the "not like other girls" type of tomboy. You probably like at least 1 sport though & you're definitely a girl's girl.

Rhaena of Pentos - You love pretty aesthetics & Barbie was probably you're favorite movie of 2023.

Jaehaera - You hyperfixate on tragic minor characters. Bonus points if you're neurodivergent.

Naerys - You're either a sad catholic girl or you hyperfixate on tragic female chracters.

Daena - You love baddies who don't take anyone's shit. You might have grown up in a toxically religious household.

Septa Rhaena - You think Baelor the Blessed was the best Targ King.

Elaena - You like a woman with a brain.

Queen Rhaella - You hyperfixate on tragic female characters.

Daenerys - You love a bad bitch (affectionate) and you will not apologize. You also genuinely have good taste & hated GoT season 8.

[pckel22]

I think the human Bill Cipher designs that’re based on freaky canon Alex Hirsch Bill are cool because like

Alex Hirsch tried to make him weird and ugly right but he very much expanded the possibilities for character design by giving him “ugly” features.

The designs with strange teeth, the fat designs, the designs with stringy hair and a short nose,

those are all the more interesting, because not only can they just flat out add visual interest, characterization, and new opportunities for shape language,

but they also go wayyy against the standard Sexy Human Twink Bill, and being more unique makes them stand out a lot more.

AND Bonus points for those artists who not only have these sorts of designs but who ship Billford and draw it, because yeah, that guy CAN be attractive to Ford. That old man CAN be attracted to a fat triangular dude with abnormal teeth.

Not only is this true, but people who aren’t skinny and pale and perfect ARE loved and people DO find them sexy

and I think more artists should consider that when trying to take, for lack of a better term, ship marketability into account with a character’s design

[braxlrose]

DOM 2023 TOM KAULITZ PLEASE

a/n: ngl you guys, im really getting into 2023 tom like romantically. bc obviously yall know im not a fan of player tom, but him now 😜 he's my boo thang fr too bad im not a granny

cw: humiliation, degradation, bondage, doggy style, face fucking, oral (m!recieving), teasing, clit slapping, vibrators

dom modern!tom hcs

-now 2023 tom and 2000s tom sexually, don't have that big of a difference. but I do think he's a lot more intimate now and possessive in bed

-if you guys are doing it doggy style, he likes it a couple different ways. if hes feeling more romantic and loving, he'll be leaned down over you, his chest to your back, kissing your neck and shoulder, whispering sweet nothings in you ear

"you look so beautiful, baby.."

"taking me so well, schatz..always been so perfect for me."

"look how pretty you are"

"lemme make you feel good, sweetie"

-but if he's feeling more possessive and horny he'll be manhandling you, have you face down into a pillow w/ your ass up, his hands on your hips, just pounding into you.

-bonus points if you guys are doing this in front of a mirror and he makes you watch yourself + if you put your face down back into the bed or look away he'll tug and pull your hair forcing you to look at yourself taking his cock

"fuckkk..letting me use this pussy, you just love being a little slut f'me, don't you..?"

"Nuh uh uh...you gotta look at yourself, pretty baby. gotta watch how slutty your little pussy is..taking my big, fat cock."

"come on, touch yourself and don't stop until I say so...wanna see that pretty pussy cum f'me.."

"I don't know if it'll fit, schatzi...your dumb little pussy might not be able to take it."

-huge tease

-before putting it in, he'll rub his tip around for a bit. not his fault your whines are so pretty..

-slaps your clit if you don't answer him or his questions

-loves using a vibrator on you and then turning it off to edge you if you've been bratty

-interlocks his fingers w/ yours when you two are having sex. doesn't matter if it's rough or soft sex, he can't help it. it makes him happy

-like bill, if you two are doing something more rough or new (or just sex in general) he makes sure to have a safe word if you ever wanna tap out

-he honestly feels awful when you use your safe word. not because you used your safe word but because he knows he pushed you too far and should've asked if you were okay more often or something. second guesses himself until you pull him in for a hug and hold onto him while you're shaking

-he's amazing at aftercare. he wants you to know how much he loves and cherishes you and make you feel safe. he also goes an extra mile if degradation was added into the mix

-he kisses your entire body after sex

-he carries you around after rough sex so you don't have to walk

-he massages your legs after sex too

-he loves cowgirl because you just look so sexy up on top of him and he still gets to be in charge even though you're the one on top

-face fucks you when you're sucking him off if he gets impatient either because you're going too slow or something else

-takes his belt off and ties your wrists w/ it sometimes

-shoves his tongue down your throat when he's about to climax

I WILL BE WRITING MORE 2023 TOM YOU GUYS DW

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam

[jaylleoo14]

A little implied stalking and lightly implied obsessive behaviors + bonus drawings down below :) (but its cute and kinda fluffy!)

Hehehe wouldn’t it be cute to imagine a nerdy pathetic Jade? Ehehehehehe it’s so cute in my head, like just the image of Jade being your typical nerd who just fails to catch anyone’s attention compared to Floyd who’s flamboyant and flaming on the courts. Such a loser he is (but its so cute though!), he even goes to his own secluded place to sit by himself and eat lunch just to listen to the birds singing. But one day, he met someone. Someone who was kind to him and actually engaged in conversations with him (he is delusional and it was only because you two were grouped into a project one time). That person was you! He loved everything about you. The way you spoke so nicely and softly to him, he liked how happy you were when you smiled at him, he liked the way you would button up your shirt so neatly, the way you smelled, what perfume you used, which foot you would put on your shoes first, the way you'd fidget when you got nervous. All of you. He loved you, he adored you, he liked you, he had a big fat crush on you. So when Jade tries to approach you he just fails miserably and is left slightly stuttering and quiet. Floyd definitely hypes him up but he sees firsthand how embarrassing Jade is whenever he tries to talk to you. So Floyd proposes something to help Jade out. Number one, work his confidence! Floyd no doubt has admirers for his looks, but Jades his twin! Jade is just as hot! Take those big glasses off, do his hair more stylish and change up his look! Floyds groaning at how actually miserable Jade looks and it’s kinda sad to see him fumbling around whenever you’re around, but fear not! It’s time to take some lessons from Floyd so Jade can calculate that love meter of yours and have an exact answer on how to win it ;)

This is Jades punk era guys…. HIS PUNK ERA!!!! He is getting that tongue piercing, he is getting those piercings, he is getting that sexy bad boy look!!!! Ahhhh but look at him getting so shy now that he’s looking in the mirror. Jade has always wanted to try this aesthetic of clothing before, but can a nerd like him really pull it off? Floyd definitely slapped his back and reassured him everything would be alright, he just needs some spine and he’ll be fine! He’s made it his goal to try and ask you out because surely after all your conversations you’ve taken a liking to him even just a little, right? (Conversations as in a quick “hi” or “yeah it was nice seeing you too” or just listening in on his little informative and nerdy mumblings about his mushrooms, though he looked quite cute when he did so if you had to admit)

The day has come. Hes going to ask you out! Jade looks nothing like how he usually does. You know, like his usual khaki shirt saying "Kinoko" on it and his stiff blue jeans. His usual plain wear. But now hear he is, looking so much more stylish with that ripped collar and that spiked choker. Real or not, he even got his face and ears pierced. All this just for you. Jade has practiced his lines many times, looking in the mirror and studying his facial expressions. How to carry himself when he walks and most importantly, how to try and win your heart. He remembers all the things you like, and he went ahead and did the honors of getting familiar with them as well.

Ah! There you are, you were there putting your stuff away in your lockers. Look at you, standing there and looking so pretty and captivating even when you try not to be. You just capture his heart so much! Truly a shock to the heart. Calm down Jade, you have to carry this out; otherwise all this effort and practice will be for naught! As he makes his way he proceeds to take a deep breath to calm his nerves and proceeds to call out your name. As you turn towards the source you're a little shocked as to see who this person was. He goes up to you, and with a confident look on his face he goes and greets you. "Hi y/n, how are you?" Though still confused, you give this man a confused stare. "Uh, do I know you?"

The look on Jades face is full of shock and he deflates oh so easily after trying to put up a confident front. Floyd was out hanging with his bros and already did a run down on what to do. As Jade remembers them, he clenches his fists slightly and takes another intake of air through his nostrils. Fixing his posture back to how it was before, he gives you a somewhat timid and shy look; though he is trying to put up that brave front. "Its me.... Jade...Jade Leech." You can say that it was definitely a surprise, well he could tell - judging based on how you reacted that is. "J-Jade?! This is you?! You look so... So different! I mean, you look great! But, what's the special occasion? I mean, you always looked so plain and I didn't think you were into this kind of style." Your surprised and shocked response did make him ease up a little and a little chuckle comes out. "Hehe, thank you y/n. I appreciate it, really. Today is a special day for me actually, and I've always thought these types of clothing would suite me nicely. I'm glad you're pleased with the way I look." He looks so happy and pleased, its so obvious its like seeing him wag his tail happily.

"Oh I see, special how?" With your intrigued question, a little spark is flickered in his eyes. Here it goes, its all or nothing.

"Well you see... Today, i planned on telling you something rather important." He proceeds to take a step closer to you, you can sense that something is going on. As you take a step back, your eyes widen as you hear more on what he had to say. The halls were strangely empty, no one around. it was perfect, the evening sun shines its golden rays through the window and it hits Jades black leather back warmly. "Me?"

"Yes, you." Another step forward. At this point your back hits the lockers with a light metallic clatter, your eyes widening and sweat dripping as you ponder what words he plans to say. "You see, for awhile now there was something I wished to tell you. But I wasn't quite ready, until now that is." His hands slowly go to trap you in between his arms, leaning a bit closer to you to meet your eyes. He was making big moves and you were obviously left stunned. "Y/N, truth is, i've liked you a lot for awhile now. If you will, can I... Be yours to have?"

And well, the rest is up to you to imagine what happens afterwards. Do you accept his confession or do you turn him down? So many things can go down and leaving this open ended is so frustrating sometimes because it really does leave you wondering. Or perhaps you wanted a solid conclusion? Well, one thing for sure is, props for Floyd! He definitely played wingman for Jade, and to add definitely his stylist :3 Just imagine all the times Jade had practiced just to say those simple words to you hehehe, you better answer fast dear readers. Because with Jades new look he definitely has caught some eyes from other people around, not like he'll accept them anyways. Because he only has his heart set on you and you only <333

[libraryofloveletters]

Diamonds and Dollar Bills

pairing: sugar daddy!jenson button x reader

summary: diamonds are a girl’s best friend after all 

author’s note: sugar daddy jenson is iconic (those from @whorekneecentral know) so I had to give y’all a lil something 

all photos are from instagram and/or pinterest :) 

written in the photos series masterlist

youruser

liked by lewishamilton, jensonbutton, pierregasly and 89,343 others

youruser: diamonds are a girl’s best friend, aren’t they? 

location: paris // tagged: jensonbutton

view 302 comments 

user22: 😍😍😍

jensonbutton: pretty girl 

comment liked by youruser

jb2009: is that jenson in that elevator pic 😭 he looks massive 

↪️youruser: he really isn’t, I’m just short loooool 

lewishamilton: love your jewelry  

↪️youruser: thank you lew! sugar daddy surprised me with it 🤭

comment liked by jensonbutton

user12: that’s a fat ass rock on her finger holy shit

jb22: not her calling me her sugar daddy 😭

↪️user7: because he is???? 🤨

--

--

youruser 

liked by yourbestie, jensonbutton, natalie_pinkham and 93,435 others 

youruser: race weekend with a bit of fun

view 427 comments 

worldchampjenson: you’re in miami ??!!!? 

↪️youruser: yes I am :)) 

danielricciardo: brb sending you enchanté merch cause you’re basically a model 💅🏽

jensonbutton: couldn’t have used a better pic ? can’t even see my face love  

↪️youruser: what do you mean mr button? You look so sexy 

↪️jensonbutton: behave 

user44: omg?? so pretty!! 

user9: not her using jenson to travel the world #golddigger 

↪️youruser: not you in my comments #staybitter 

— 

jensonbutton 

liked by youruser, lewishamilton, pierregasly and 80,339 others 

jensonbutton: happy birthday to the person who makes me the happiest in the world ❤️

tagged: youruser

comments have been limited on this post. 

youruser: love you to the moon, thank you for everything you do for me. ❤️

—

bonus texts - blue is yn, grey is jenson

I found that pic and I had to use it

[hackfurs]

As a fellow undies lover, what do you like about them?

I hope you're ready for this essay, anon. I have many, many thoughts on underwear as a kink of mine.

I have always been interested in the "less is more" or "use your imagination" approach to depicting sexy things. Vague shapes, suggestions, an enticing phantom of what could be. Your thoughts get to run wild as you construct a form from lines and curves that might become reality if you play your cards right.

As an added bonus to the imagination aspect, having that sort of barrier between yourself and the subject of your attraction being fully nude adds a level of casualness to an encounter. I sometimes feel like there's a lot of pressure when you share a sexually contextualized space with someone who is naked. It makes me feel like I need to perform more and be very vocal about how much I find them attractive because the other person is risking more by being vulnerable like that with me. In that sense, underwear is a metaphorical suit of armor that still invokes the essence of nudity and sexiness without fully encapsulating all the unspoken rules and expectations of being naked.

Now that we've got some psychological and emotional aspects out of the way, let's discuss the physical.

First of all, there's nothing quite like seeing the elastic bands of underwear poking out from a pair of jeans when someone lifts up their arms or bends over. It practically teases me, and it's often the first thing that gets me into the mood when I'm with someone.

While we're on the topic of elastic bands, one of my favorite details about wearing underwear is when those bands squish or displace body fat and make little indents into someone's thigh's, waist, or even ass if it's a jockstrap. It's like they're waving a flag at me saying "Look how soft and squishy I am! I bet you want to squish it too!" And they're right. I really, really do. Another thing about elastic bands is the tactile feel they provide when you get your hands on them. Slipping your thumbs inside the band around the hips and feeling the pressure against them. Conversely, there's the way that underwear falls away slightly at the small of someone's back, letting you slip your hand inside with little resistance. The way certain body parts may push or strain against the waist band before springing free. It's all about pressure and tension here. There's another aspect that I adore about underwear, and this is something that people who are familiar with my art won't find surprising: seams. The lines holding it all together. Beyond their practical use in the construction of garments, I enjoy seams because they help highlight or emphasize the natural curves on someone's body. Inner thighs and butts are often accented by these extra details that help give you a sense of weight and curvature. This is also why I often include dual-toned articles of clothing where the inner and outer portions of sleeves, legs, etc. are different colors. This applies especially for the butts of characters. I always include a white butt on my characters to make sure that the curve is as noticeable as possible.

And finally, here's the aspect that pushes me a little closer into "freak" territory: my relationship to underwear is very scent oriented. I love being able to bury my face in someone's underwear, preferably while they're wearing it (but it's still good on their own, especially if their owner's scent is still present). It's that mix of musk, sweat, and fabric with a hint of whatever detergent they were last washed in. There's just something about it that lights my brain on fire. As you can see, I am very... enthusiastic about underwear. Hopefully, this answers your question, as well as explain why my body of work is... like that. 🩲

[fredwkong]

I’m exhausted constantly from all the chores and homework I have to do. I wish there was a way I could fast forward in life and just have two sons do all the work for me.

Well, as they say, Daddy is a state of mind.

The genie sits down across from you at the recruitment office. His thick pecs and musclegut stretch his tailored dress shirt to its limits. “So we have an opportunity for you,” he says. “But they’re looking for someone a little more… mature.”

You instantly feel the magic settle over you. Your shirt shreds around your growing shoulders, chest, and biceps, thick, sexy fat spreading over the sturdy muscles. You age a decade or so, suddenly remembering college graduation, internships, and being headhunted for this new position, all as if you’ve dreamed the intervening years. Confidence, authority, and a thrill at giving arbitrary commands fill your mind.

You look down at your thick dadbod. You were hoping to get a bit older, old enough to have raised some good college boys to order around.

The genie grins at your crestfallen expression. “As a signing bonus, the CEO would like you to help him out get his sons ready for their future positions in the company.” He pulls a photograph from a manila envelope and hands it to you. Two lithe young boys in basketball shorts, horsing around, probably high. “They’ll be moving in with you, and obviously you have carte blanche to do whatever you want,” the genie tells you. "What positions do you think they should fill?"

You return his lusty grin. “Oh, I think they'll make perfect personal assistants,” you growl, in your new gravelly, bass voice. You can’t wait to whip these boys into shape as their new Daddy.

Another wish fulfilled.

Got a wish you need twisted? Send an ask! Remember to say “I wish” so the genie hears exactly what you’re wishing for.

[lumosatnight]

Lani's Birthday Oneshots: 2024 🧁

As per tradition, today is my birthday and as a gift to you, I present a HP ONESHOT REC LIST to celebrate 🥳! Here are 15 oneshots, under 10k words (mostly), one for each day in June leading up to my birthday. Lots of genres, lots of tropes, ordered by ship (kinda).

🌼 - fluff | 💔 - angst | 🔥 - smut

—

1. The Pirc Defence by @sleepstxtic [Draco/Harry, E, 10k] ♟️❣️ This fic is brilliant!! Masterful, even. Kat does it again with the intriguing plot, the deeply intense relationships, and strongly lovable characters. This is the chess rivals to lovers fic that everyone deserves and needs to read RIGHT NOW.

2. Nightswimming by @sweet-s0rr0w [Draco/Ron, established Draco/Harry, M, 5k] 🔥🌃 This fic is delicious. Searing hot anticipation. That feeling right before the climax, the first spark of the match before the fire is fully lit. Exquisite. I just want to bask in it.

3. Postcards Of A Life Well Lived by @ghaniblue [Luna/Draco/Harry, M, 950] 🌼🦋 Georgeous slice of life. I love the dynamic between the three, weaving in and out of each others' lives. Luna is a gem.

4. This Tree Grows from Ash and Dust by @wellhalesbells [Dudley/Draco, M, 9k] 💔♣️ This fic is rife with tension. The Drudley dynamic sucks you right in and with unrequited Drarry in the background! I cannot get enough.

5. Different by @camelliacats [Nigel/Colin, T, 10k] 🌼💔 Canon-compliant how Nigel falls in love with his best friend's brother. Teen romance, first loves, and all the wonderful complicated feelings that come along with it.

6. self-made by @onewhodiedyoung [Cho/Ginny, T, 3k] 💔🦢 Beautiful post-war story. Ginny grappling with her identity and who she is after everything. Cho knowing and supporting and growing.

7. My Kink Is Karma by @chaos-bear [Lavender/Gilderoy, E, 3k] 🔥🤣 What a pairing!! Hilarious fic with some hot and then awkward smut. But absolutely perfect.

8. thorns, in amber by @thisisdecemberista [Sirius/Lily, established James/Lily, E, 5k] 💔🔥 God, this fic. The infidelity angst mixed with war mixed with their all-consuming love for James. A whirlwind of emotions that had me in a death grip. So so good.

9. Bouquet by sky_watcher_rose [Minerva/Poppy, T, 3k] 🌼💐 So sweet, so lovely! A professors getting together story that melts my heart. I always knew Minerva was a sweetheart beneath that strict exterior.

10. the end of illusions (who could ever be saved) by lovelit [Tom/Percy, E, 3k] 🦁🐍 Percy discovers Tom's diary and things spiral from there. I absolutely adore Percy in this: hardworking, overlooked, and just seeking a friend.

11. Come Slowly, Eden by Paimpont [Voldemort/Molly, M, 3k] 💔🥧 A pairing that at first glace seems incongruous but actually works so well! Molly showing Voldemort kindness, and him showing her family mercy. *chef's kiss*

12. Tom Riddle Sr. by @limetameta [Tom & Tom Sr, T, 4k] 💔🏡 A Tom Riddle Sr. character study in which he raises Tom on his own. Voldemort is so much the same, and so much different. I would read so much more of this universe.

13. Unfinished by @turanga4 [Fat Friar & Harry, T, 1k] 💔🌙 Grief, love, and loss. A lovely, heartfelt look into the aftermath of the BOH and Harry finding comfort in Hogwarts.

14. Through the Sleepless Night by @mugsdontlie [Mundungus & Arabella, T, 2k] 🌼🐈 I love friendship fics and I love their friendship here! Mugs is the master of rare pair dynamics. There's such familiarity between the characters. It feels so real and the perfect backdrop to canon.

15. Sexy Gobs by @emilyrickman [Lighning Era & Professors, T, 650] 🌼📝 Hilarious and so creative. The formatting is insane! But I'm most impressed by creating a cohesive story simply from a couple of post-it notes.

BONUS FIC (>10k): Wit Beyond Measure by @midnightstargazer [Unrequited Bloody Baron/Grey Lady, T, 14k] 💔👑 Stunning, amazing fic showcasing Helena Ravenclaw. Struggling under the expectations of her mother, leaving to find herself, and returning to safeguard the castle's students. I love the depth, the fleshed-out insight we get into her character!

—

Want more fics to read?

Try my rec tag: #lumosinthelibrary

Bday Oneshots (<10k), Year in Reading, WLW Library

[tweedlebugged]

Yes, yes, James Somerton’s videos are down, the evil is defeated, etc etc. But honestly I’m just mad that I’ll never be able to back up my theory that the origin story of his whole bizarre “Sexy Nazis invented fitness culture” thing was just him ripping off the podcast Maintenance Phase. Badly.

(Almost like he built a career off stealing from other queer creators and not checking his sources or something idk)

If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, Maintenance Phase is an extensively researched podcast from two queer writers (this may sound familiar) Michael Hobbes and Aubrey Gordon, dedicated to debunking myths about health and wellness. The very FIRST episode contains the facts:

1) The Nazis were very concerned about fitness due to fascism-based views of the body, and engaged in group exercise similar to modern calisthenics classes.

2) This kind of group fitness was closely associated with the Nazis in the consciousness of Americans, partially because of Nazi propaganda films portraying it.

3) Americans were less measurably fit than Europeans because they didn’t do the same kind of group exercises, and this was attributed to American softness.

Hypothetically: If you are a lazy asshole who built a career stealing from more talented creators and recounting a funhouse version of history based on half-remembered facts you don’t bother to verify, you very well might have only absorbed those facts initially and come to the weird hot Nazi conclusion (if you’re into that I guess?)

Or MAYBE you do kind of remember (hypothetically!) the actual sequence of described in the episode - that because Nazis were associated with group fitness activities due to propaganda films etc, American physical education turned really quickly from similar styles of group fitness to less regimented exercise activities like sports. This shift meant American children performed more poorly on standardized physical fitness measurements than European children, which was blamed on American softness/decadence.

But this doesn’t support your pre-existing (hot Nazi???) biases, so you cherry pick only the facts that you can distort into a conclusion that DOES. (This may also sound familiar.) Hypothetically!!!

For bonus points! I’m pretty sure the connection between poverty, nutrient poor and carb rich diets, and fatness is also something they’ve discussed in other episodes, but unrelated to the depression or hot Nazis or less hot Soviets (taken with a grain of salt because I am tragically also kind of a lazy asshole just going off half-remembered vibes on this one)

TL;DR: If you heard the bit where James Somerton claimed that sexy Nazis inspired Americans to create modern fitness culture and thought “that doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about fitness and the Nazis to dispute it” you should check out Maintenance Phase because I’m pretty sure it’s both uncited source and debunking rolled into one.

[doukeshi-kun]

Nikolai’s intelligence is so underestimated, man. This guy is fluent enough in Japanese that he fooled everyone into believing he was some statesman’s secretary for six months, he knows Meursault and it’s architecture and security systems inside out, he knew a lot about atsushi before they even met, and while not all of that is a classic sign of intelligence, this man does his fucking research and he does it well. And while he gives off sleazy lazy silly attitude, he must possess a ton of discipline and capability.

(He’s also sexy, which is a bonus point, but not only has he got a fat cock, but a fat brain too)

yea! he is definitely smart i have been saying for yearsss. idk the condition of working as a government official in japan, but he must have sounded like a local if he's able to get that kind of job. and goddd when he explains about meursault and its architecture and its mechanisms, i almost bust a nut because ooooohhh we love a science king 😍😍😍

i agree that he does have a level of discipline. he is literally like that one student in college who seems to just do the bare minimum but still got 4.0 in his cgpa. i also believe he is capable of a lot more criminal things and creatively too... considering his victims that were killed brutally. and he is very good with coordination, because he can teleport accordingly. atsushi even says he can do anything so he can coordinate this cunt too ngl im just sayin

nikolai is SMORT and anyone who says otherwise is DOMB

[coltrainbat]

What about chubbish and kind reader getting criticized for dating the world's sexiest man of 2022, she felt upset and cries. Chris felt angry at the people who doesn't know about his girlfriend

Sexist Girl Alive (Curvy!Reader)

A.N/WARNING: Screenshots are obvi fake, TW for fatphobia, slurs, people being mean ☹️ but happy ending, photos arent mine (mwah pinterest)

You smiled at the photo of you two, dressed up before a night out. Chris lips lovingly on your cheeks as you smiled happily. You thought you looked great in your new skin tight dress. Sure it showed a few insecurities but you hoped the black would hide it. Your makeup and hair was all done up and Chris couldn’t stop loving on you all night.

You chuckled at the sweet yet corny caption. He would never live it down - would he? You shook your head, grinning like an idiot. 

Fighting your better instinct, you went through the comments, chewing your thumb nail as you eyes laid on the key words:

“Fat” 

“Cow” 

“She takes up the whole mirror.” 

“It should be illegal for someone like her to wear a dress like that”

“Chris Evans is legally blind if he thinks she’s sexy”

You licked the taste of salty tears that had landed on your upper lip. You took a shaky breathe out as you quickly wiped away the tears that were forming. You felt pathetic, crying about what a bunch of nobody’s had to say about your body. They were jealous, they didn’t know you, they were protective of their internet boyfriend - your mind ran through all the reasons for such vile comments but that still didn’t stop the feeling of sadness and inadequacy that ran through you. 

That was until a wet little nose landed on your cheek, paw pushing the phone away from your face. 

“Would you look at that you found mama- baby what’s wrong?” Chris came in, catching your tear stained cheeks and red, watery eyes.

“The um… instagram you posted you-“ You were hiccuping, anxiously patting Dodgers coat. Too embarrassed to meet his eyes, firmly focused on the Instagram comments that were now blurry. 

“I didn’t post your nudes did I?!” His face full of concern that he had pulled another, much worse, social media blunder. 

“No.” You left out a shaky faux laugh 

“You left comments on and well some people aren’t very nice.” 

“Show me right now.” His jaw went tight and his expression changed to pure disgust and anger.

You handed him the phone, digging your face into Dodgers coat, drying your tears.

Chris’s eyes scanned the comments, jaw tightening as he grounded his teeth. 

“That’s it.” He throw the phone next him, making his way up in a frenzy.

“Chris it’s not a big deal I’m just emotional.”

“It is a fucking big deal.” He raised his voice now, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Chris wasn’t an angry person, rarely getting upset but when you were involved; people better run.

It perplexed him everyday how he thinks he landed the most beautiful woman in the world yet people want to pick apart something as stupid as your weight.

Chris wasn’t blind at all, he was  engrossed and obsessed with every curve, every roll, every stretch mark, every sag. He loved them all.

He couldn’t get enough of grabbing your belly whenever he could, even in public. His hand without fail always travelled from your waist to your pudge, slowly stroking the skin or the fabric - it relaxed him.

Or at home when he’d forgo your ass and instead just grab a roll and jiggle it in his hands, fuck, in his mind it was a bonus to your ass, more skin he could fondle and touch and enjoy, more ways to get a whole body ripple out of you.

Or in the morning before you’d wake up when he’d slowly trace your stretch marks, adoring the way they looked like tiger stripes he felt like they were a natural piece of art on your body.

The way your thighs would wrap tightly around his head, a built in pillow for him to rest on while he traced your body with his hands, following the natural trail created by your curves.

How every hug felt soft and warm as you pressed your plump body up against him, he would get so frustrated that he couldn’t grab every single part of you all at once and just squeeze but a hug was the closest thing.

He didn’t think pure beauty existed until he saw you for the first time, he remembers the way he jaw fell agape slightly and his eyes widened desperate to touch you, desperate to have you in his bed every night. 

You were his now and he wasn’t going to let some bullshit comments take that away from him.

To take the spark and light out of you, to push you down to a place where you felt you were anything but incredible.

You body wasn’t just a wonderland but the home for the soul in which he adored, his kind, intelligent, resilient, witty, outspoken, well read and highly cultured, drop dead gorgeous woman.

The purity of you being so authentically yourself was sacred to him and he was fiercely protective of you for that.

He dreaded the day the comments got too much and he cringed at the thought of you changing any part of the woman he met for some fucking comments. It wouldn’t happen. Not on his watch.

“You can’t just- you can’t fucking say those things about someone! I mean we go back 200 fucking years and there’s your body in fucking oil paintings around castles and here we are now where your accomplishments, your personality, your kindness, your fucking beauty is just completely shitted on.”

“I dealt with it way before I started dating you.” 

“Well it ends now.” He said crouching down in front of you as you sat curled into a ball on the couch. 

His eyes had softened and he was desperate for you to meet his. Wanting to assure you with everything he had that this meant nothing to him. 

“Baby you know I don’t agree with those comments right. Fuck, you remember how much I couldn’t keep my hands off you that night.”

“And every night before.” You snorted 

He gave you a soft smile, happy you were back to making jokes “Exactly.” 

“It’s my fault I should of turned comments off but we shouldn’t have to do that. I’m going to write something and that should be the end of it.” 

“We shouldn’t react that’s what they want.” You said wearily.

“In no world is that going to be said about you and I just sit back and let it happen. Absolutely not. Now come on, let’s get you in the bath.”

You sunk into the steaming water as the smell of lavender and rose filled your nose and muscles you didn’t realise you were tensing finally relaxed. Repeating mantras of self assurance in your head with the distant sound of Chris scurrying around the bedroom and his muffled voice on the phone. 

 Getting out and into your robe after an hour you made your way into the bedroom, finding an exhausted Chris waiting for you on the bed.

“Come here I wanna show you something.” He tapped the spot next to him, inviting you to snuggle against his chest as he got out his phone.

You rolled your eyes, sighing as you got comfortable. 

“Read.” He said sternly, putting his phone into your hand.

You brushed the tears forming in your eyes from happiness. Two things you could always count on with Chris is his ability to make you the happiest person alive and his passion. Combine them and you’re a babbling mess of gratitude and love. Pulling his head down towards you, peppering kisses all over his face and whispering thank you against his lips. 

“Don’t thank me come on now.”

“It was very well said.”

“Yeah well we won’t need this for awhile.” He grabbed his phone from you, throwing it down the bed as he fell off the edge, landing with a small thump.

“Come here sexy, I wanna love on my girl.” You giggled as his beard brushed against your neck as he left wet soppy kisses down your body, untieing your robe to get your unfiltered body in all its glory. 

Chris’s comments created a storm of support, bringing up a conversation of why a woman’s body is ever a topic of concern and the high expectations of male celebrity partners to look a certain way. 

And months down the line he still stood by them. Stating in an interview:

“I don’t think I have ever been more furious than when I read those comments. You know you have this beautiful, intelligent partner and you’re both in this happy little bubble of love and admiration and then these strangers, randoms on the internet just start attacking them for all the things you love about them. It’s like a kick in the gut. I felt so guilty like it was my fault because she didn’t ask to be famous or anything and it’s not easy to give that privacy and anonymity up to follow your heart but she did it anyways and all she was met with was horrible comments. Man, I was so scared that was going to be it for her and I’d never see her again. It just felt like people don’t realise that’s a real person, we are real people and if you wouldn’t say that to someone’s face then why comment it where they can see? She didn’t deserve that at all and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure it never happened again. She means the world to me, I’d do anything to protect her. I’m just lucky I get to wake up to her everyday and she’s this strong, resilient person who can’t be knocked down easily.”

[egg-emperor]

What would you say is eggman's hottest outfit? (swimwear, birthday suit and him being shirtless don't count...and are obvious #1 answers)

aw come ooon his swim shorts is the hottest official look we've got because it's the closest to him being nude that they can get in official stuff hehe

the way his beautiful fat tits are out, how the waistband of the shorts squishes his wonderful soft round tummy, the thought of how the material would stretch over his bulge and cling to his round butt cheeks and slip down to show the crack- if they were allowed to depict it all. XD but man 🤤

but alright yeah yeah I get it, the hottest when he's actually clothed/wearing a whole outfit

his biker outfit without a question because I'm absolutely crazy about it. he's literally a leather daddy biker bear, a rugged old man in leather is the hottest thing in the world, he's my dream man. every time I see him in his sexy red leather jacket and scarf I'm like ahsifbshfuhskgh TAKE ME NOW I collapse to the floor I need him 😍💜💘

credit to Nibroc-Rock for that last one

I like to imagine him in almost entirely leather fit of jacket, gloves, and boots with aviators, all black. that's the only way you could make his biker style even hotter for me. it's thanks to a combination of his biker fit and the black version of his outfit in SA2 that I think about it, he looks super hot in black leather- so that's a runners up mention

and another solid runner up this Sonic Shuffle fit because he's so handsome and dapper in his smart suit, top hat, and bow tie 🥰 you know I'm following him behind the curtains backstage after the show

and extra bonus mention is the other gorgeous Shuffle fit because it's adjacent to his Riders fit style with a big coat and scarf, and with a great hat. so it pretty much what I like about his biker outfit and Shuffle suit combined in an also very sexy way (which also looks very similar to his Equestrian fit but he also has very nice boots to stomp in there 😋)

but Riders Eggman #1 actual outfit easy, otherwise just him in his swim shorts or nothing at all 🥴

[nymph-psychology]

♡ john price headcanons: 001 ♡

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cw: mentions of fem!thick/fat/curvy!reader

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i hc that he loves himself a milf; someone who's in her thirties with a kid or two that are young. bonus points if she's single

also, i see him as a man who somehow gets the best sleep of his life by having you lay on top of him in bed, like a weighted blanket. it makes him feel grounded like he's actually human despite all the things he's done in his career but also to cop a cheeky feel

fucking LOVES a squishy tummy; just something else for his rough hands to feel and caress. also, loves kissing any stretch marks on said tummy

well, he kisses all of your stretch marks regardless ー in both a sexy way and an adoration way ;)

he definitely does the dad thing of slapping his thighs before grunting as he gets up from a chair ー you did hear a concerning crack from his knees, and he hasn't lived it down

i also see him as kind of an old-fashioned romantic. for instance, always buys you flowers and keeps one so he knows when to give you new ones, opens every door, walks on the roadside of the pavement, etc

radiates old grumpy cat energy, and no, i will not elaborate

i feel like he'd be the type of man to let you trim his beard once he trusts you enough. totally isn't so he can feel your hands on his face and the comforting weight of your body on his lap

will grumble and give stern yet loving talking to if you ever have a sliver of doubt about why he wants to be with

the man will essentially howl like a dog and act like a horny teenager at the sight of any pudge that spills over from tight clothing, i.e. thigh highs or straps ー he tries to keep it internally, but you can tell when his eyes drill holes at the piece of clothing and how hard his hands are clenching

despite being a captain and high authority figure when someone asks him about going out drinks or something, he always replies with "gotta ask the missus"

keeps a worn-out picture of you in his pocket right over his heart. always kisses when he wakes up, for luck, before bed when he's on deployment

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[kaeyx]

Good evening, I’ve come to rate the bsd men’s asses in terms of looks and fuckability :)

Starting off with Chuuya: he’s very toned overall and in good shape, so his ass is pretty firm and well-shaped. Not huge, but he’s also a tiny man, but he’s just so sexy and hot. Definitely hairless, I just can’t imagine Chuuya with body hair (except pubes), pale and very smooth skin. Probably a little uneasy with anal stuff at first, but if you insist, he’ll budge eventually. Be gentle, because he’s never put anything in before. Now, he’s refuse to do it missionary stuff first, it’s too embarrassing to make eye contact while having someone drill their cock into your asshole for the first time, so he prefers it doggystyle or prone bone. He’s a little tight, but with the right amount of lube and preparation, your cock will fit in nicely. He makes the prettiest sounds, a few gasps and „oh fuck!“s at first, but then he’ll moan like a little slut, grip the sheets and drool, eyes rolled back, blabbering incoherent things (see: his educational sounds for reference).

Next is Nikolai, his ass is an 11/10. It’s fat, it’s jiggly, it’s plump and round and it’s so nice to grab, to smack, to grope, etc. especially because he will not only let you, but encourage you to do it. He’s an ass man, he loves other people’s asses, but he also loves his own being toyed with. Yes, probably hairy, but I’m convinced he shaves it. Very fuckable too, because he will get on his hands and knees in a heartbeat if you want to fuck him, and also arches his back prettily. Doesn’t take long for him to adjust to your size, your dick will slip in easily with or without lube. Why? Because Nikolai fucks his own asshole day and night, using either his own cock (with his ability), large dildos or he’ll have a plug in for hours. I recommend you spread his jiggly cheeks nicely so you can watch your cock slide in and out of him, or you make him spread them. Occasionally pull out so it makes a „pop“ sound, spit in his hole, and definitely cum inside, he loves that.

Fyodor’s little twink ass is pale as fuck, and due to sitting day and night, a bit flat :/ but it’s still cute, I believe, and what makes anal sex with Fyodor so fun is that he hates it, but is secretly still curious to try. Will complain nonstop, that ruins the mood a bit, and he is also so fucking tight it’s hard to push your cockhead past the awfully tight ring of muscle in the beginning. Give him a rimjob and finger him thoroughly, use plugs and promise him a reward if he cooperates, and maybe, he’ll stop clenching his hole and finally let you fuck him. His moans are even more pathetic and whiny than Chuuya‘s, he whimpers and cries like a spoiled little girl and often tries to scurry away. Just grab his slutty little waist and fuck his brains out harder. Cum inside out of spite and watch the little bitch try and push it all out. Fyodor’s ass is fun to fuck, but only if you bring lots of patience and physical strength into the bedroom. He gets some bonus points for the belly bulge, though. No matter the size of your cock, his stomach will bulge.

Ranpo has an adorable, cute little ass with a neatly shaved, pink hole, ready to be fucked at all times. Will annoy the shit out of you just so you punish him by shoving either a monster dildo inside his ass or roughly rail him from behind. Do some ass-to-mouth with him to make the punishment even more humiliating him. If he’s not crying, you didn’t do enough.

OUFJFGJ YOU'RE SO RIGHTTTTT I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD THIS IS PERFECT

[gordie-kisser]

/// Lotsa nsfw, trans eren yeager, gender nonspecific reader, implied hobo ren, Mention of Period sex, just babbling and rambling mostly--

Trans!Eren can't get enough of your cock/strap after a long day. He'll lie down with a hazy eye, drool pooling everywhere, his needy cunt fucking throbs for your cock/strap.

Now, he wouldn't be the loudest moaner, he wouldn't make a lot of noise in general. A grunt or two here and there, he doesn't move during it much either, and your only indicator of how good you're *actually* making him feel is the noises from his overwhelmingly wet pussy.

Yeah, he instinctively pushes your head away from his cunt when he's close to orgasm, instead of pulling it closer. He doesn't mean to do that, and he'll stop in his tracks-- he'll slowly begin dragging your head back to his pussy. He wraps his one leg around you., expecting you to grab onto his nub for the extra support...

His pussy is extremely, extremely wet. Messy. Discharge is real white, real thick, too. He's always wet, even outside of sexual situations. It makes lots of noises. He doesn't shave and giving him head is like entering the fucking jungle.

Loves you sucking on his clit and maybe giving a few licks around that area, loves seeing your nose buried in his pubes.

Doesn't react much either way, but he prefers slow, deep thrusts compared to fast & shallow ones. He wants you to rub your dick/fingers/strap against his pussy before AND after, so he can listen to all those wet, spongey noises.

Make out with his fucking face and tell him how hot and sexy he is..His damn body gets so sweaty.

He loves having the stubble on his face kissed, too.. makes him feel at ease.

He isnt very dysphoric, hes pretty content with himself- which means its okay to get so fucking pussydrunk, its okay to talk about how his fat fucking pussy is so breedable..He loves it.

Bonus points if u fuck him on his period LMFAO