#the fic mentions that hes wearing an oversized hand me down jumper

[fishblings]

Fanart of a scene from this fanfic by @dollarstoreartsupplies ! Once again the "Tinky as Peter's imaginary friend" AU. Baby Pete is so cute in it! He deserves better. I like the idea that Tinky appeared more cute and doll-like when Peter was a child and became more freaky as Peter got older.

[cacoetheswriting]

a saturday ritual

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: mild swearing, a single parent home, mentions of death (death of a parent & a significant other), mentions of alcohol consumption, and a lil pining, but mainly just FLUFF Word Count: 5.6k Request: anonymous: “I love your Spencer Reid fics! I was wondering if you could write something with Spencer and a single mom reader?? Thanks”

A/N: a very brief summary: spencer is infatuated by his new neighbour, a single mom to a five year old boy who likes to wreak havoc in their shared corridor. also, this one turned out to be a lot A LOT longer than i initially thought it would be but honestly i had so much fun writing this fic, it really could have gone on foreverrrrr ENJOY and as always let me know what you think ! 

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For about a week after you moved into the apartment across from his, Spencer wondered what would be an acceptable excuse to go introduce himself.

Having been away on a case those first couple of days, he missed the initial opportunity. Later, his colleagues told him that was enough of a justification. Much later. Too late. Now the moment has passed, and he wondered whether pretending he needed salt or sugar was a good enough pretext. Lame.

He's caught glimpses of you out in the shared hall returning from the grocery store, or by the post box downstairs collecting your mail. Glimpses. Passing fleeting seconds. Never enough time to say hello, however enough to notice you were really beautiful.

Also enough to notice the little boy constantly tugging at your clothes. From what he could see, the resemblance was uncanny. The boy was your son no doubt. And given that Spencer hasn’t seen another adult around, he came to a conclusion you were a single mom.

It was now Saturday morning. Saturday. A day he usually spent grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. And this weekend began no differently.

With a cup of coffee, he sat at his desk and began working away when an odd droning sound caught his attention. Buzzing. Yet it wasn’t mechanical, no. The peculiar hum echoing outside seemed more manmade. Childlike.

Yes, the brunette doctor deducted, the buzzing sounds he was currently hearing were most definitely airplane noises made by a kid.

At first, he decided to pay no attention to what was going on outside his door. He felt bad enough for not going to introduce himself, so he wasn't about to become the mean man from across the hall who gave out about playing children.

After taking a sip of his coffee, he proceeded to bury his head in the papers scattered across his desk. The sound wasn’t too loud meaning it wasn't a big distraction. He could continue to get his work done despite the clatter.

It was then he heard your voice for the first time. The melodic tone drew him in even more than the buzzing echo. 

Dropping his pen, he instantly got to his feet and ambled towards the front door - now was his chance. 

His hand hovered over the knob, but before he got a chance to do anything, he heard a slam. The noises stopped. Silence once again filled the hall outside.

The hazel-eyed doctor felt slightly foolish. He didn't really know what he wanted to accomplish by springing up so fast. Even if he managed to catch you, what was he going to say? I heard your voice, and wanted to see you. Stupid. You would think he's absolutely clinically insane. I heard you out here, and wanted to finally introduce myself. Better. Although still a little weird.

With a sigh, he sunk back in his seat and continued with his usual Saturday routine. Hoping he would get another chance.

Sunday he heard the buzzing again. Only this time he was walking up the stairs, returning from a late afternoon stroll. 

Once he reached his floor he came face to face with the source of the airplane noises currently echoing throughout the building.

Spencer thought the young boy couldn't be more than five. He was wearing a jumper that was clearly too big on him. Probably one of yours, Spencer thought. Arms spread out by his side, the oversized garment covering his hands in full, the kid ran circles up and down the corridor. A wide grin on his face. The hoodie dragging on the floor collecting dustballs.

Mixed with the noises was the sound of your laughter, coming from inside your apartment. The honey-like harmony was like music to Spencer's ears. A small smile crept up on his features; what the hell was going on with him? How could he possibly feel an attraction to someone he’s never met, held a conversation with.

The boy stopped abruptly when he noticed Spencer. His arms fell, and he ran into your apartment. Vanished as if he’d seen a ghost. Although, he must have been waiting, looking out for when the coast was clear again, because as soon as Spencer closed his own door the buzzing resumed.

It continued on for hours.

Having spent time with JJ’s boys, Spencer was no stranger to the amount of energy little kids possessed. Often when playing he would be the one to grow tired first. He would be the one that needed a break while they continued to wreak havoc. Therefore the noises didn't bother him. He went about his evening, subconsciously listening out for your voice.

The next few days were quiet.

Not like he spent a lot of time at home anyway. Between his classes and his unpredictable work hours with the FBI, he only went back to his apartment to sleep. And that was usually really late at night.

Thursday evening, after a surprisingly short day, he was fumbling through his bag in search for his key when the sudden urge to go and finally say hello came over him. He knocked on your door and instantly heard shuffling inside. There was no turning back now.

Soon you were standing in front of him. Subtly, he looked you up and down. His grip on the strap of his bag tightening. Wow, you were even more beautiful than the glimpses he caught. 

That came off rather stalker-ish, he took a mental note.

“Hello. Can I help you?” You asked while leaning against the frame, one hand holding the door so not let the brunette stranger see inside.

“Hi, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He introduced himself, examining your face for any sort of reaction. Completely blank. “Can I help you?” You repeated. The brunette doctor was slightly taken aback by your cold shoulder. He pursed his lips into a thin smile. “No. I just wanted to introduce myself and say that if you needed anything-” “Thanks.” You cut him off and closed the door in his face.

Spencer took a step back. That definitely didn’t go as he thought it would. He rationalised your behaviour as a response to his tardiness with regards to greeting you and your son in the building. Although he still couldn’t believe you were so, for lack of a better word, bitchy.

Glancing one last time at your door, he unlocked his own and stepped inside. At least now he could say he tried introducing himself. He tried being the friendly neighbour.

Saturday arrived once again in the blink of an eye. This particular morning, the hazel-eyed doctor had an abundance of papers to grade. He made himself comfortable and got to work.

Unlike last week, when the airplane noises didn't bother him, today he found them to be quite irritating. He would reread the same sentences at least twice before he even began to understand them. Not ideal.

Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his already messy curls and let out a deep sigh. He really needed to concentrate, but he also didn't want to be a dick about it. Possibly making the already tense situation even worse.

Quickly, and rather impulsively, he gathered his things. He put on his shoes, threw his bag over his shoulder, and walked out into the hall.

This time the little boy was sitting on the floor in the middle of the corridor. In his hands he gripped two toy planes, flying them around in the air. The boy looked up at Spencer and smiled, but continued to play. Spencer smiled back while locking his door, and proceeded to make his way down the stairs.

Yes. He felt good about his decision to work somewhere else for the day.

That evening, as he was about to reheat some leftovers, there was a knock on the door. It was faint. So faint in fact he wasn't sure if he heard it at first. For a split second he hesitated, his attention now focused solely on the door. Another knock. Louder this time. He hurried over and opened it to greet the mysterious guest.

You.

Dressed in an oversized band t-shirt, one Spencer didn't recognise, and a pair of biker shorts - all covered in spatters of colourful paint. Your hair was up in a bun with loose strands escaping by your face. Spencer also noticed a yellow paint smudge on your left cheek, and white speckles on your forehead. Despite the dishevelled attire, you looked considerably more relaxed than the day he went to introduce himself.

“I guess I should start off by apologising.” You began in that melodic tone he first heard last week. “When you came by, I was really rude. I'm not usually like that, I swear. It’s just I have a lot on my plate right now. Benny’s grandparents, from his dad’s side, are giving me grief for moving so far away from them. Even though it’s only an extra twenty minute drive. But you know, they are Benny’s grandparents and I love them. They’re family. Anyway, minutes before you knocked I was on the phone with them, again about the same thing, and the conversation put me in a foul mood. Which really isn’t an excuse for the way I acted towards you so, yeah, inexcusable. I’m sorry.”

The hazel-eyed doctor couldn't help but lightly smirk. He’s never met anyone that rambled nearly as much as him. He’s learned more about you in the last ten seconds than he did the whole time you lived across from him.

“Okay. Okay, you’re smiling. That’s a good sign, right?” You brought your hands to your face, gently pressing your fingertips to the corners of your mouth as if to cover the embarrassment you were no doubtly feeling right now. “Because I did actually come here to invite you over for pizza. A truly lame attempt to try show you that I am in fact a good person and not that bitch you met.”

“I love pizza.” Spencer simply stated causing a sigh of relief to escape your lips.

“Great. That’s great.” A warm expression graced your facial features. “Oh, I’m Y/N by the way.” You were about to reach out your hand when you noticed the colourful paint covering your fingers. “Mom life.” You joked, cheeks flushing a soft pink, and let your arms fell back down to your side.

You patiently waited for Spencer to grab his keys and phone before making your way across the hall.

Your apartment was slightly larger than his, two bedrooms, and the decor also couldn’t have been more different to his own. Colourful, vibrant, homey. Those would be the words he’d use to describe what he was witnessing.

In the middle of the living space stood a dark green couch. Draped over it were numerous blankets, hiding underneath them were mismatched throw pillows. On the coffee table lay a stack of books, surrounded by children’s toys. The wall behind the television was decorated from corner to corner with various sized frames. Inside those frames were different movie posters, photos, random prints, and what he speculated was some of Benny’s artwork.

He was in awe as to how fast you managed to make this place feel like your own.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna quickly wash my hands to try get this pesky paint off, and then we can order food.” With that you disappeared leaving Spencer alone to examine the rest of your place.

His attention was caught by a not so white bedsheet, opposite end of the living space. It was covered in paint. On top of the sheet, stood an old pickle jar that was filled with water. It held numerous brushes. Next to it was a plastic box with tubes of acrylic paint with every colour a person could possibly dream of.

Spencer took a couple of steps towards the bedsheet. He didn't want to seem nosey, he just wanted to get a better look at the currently drying canvases. A distinct pitter of small feet caused him to stand up straight, frozen, as if he was caught doing something illegal.

“A-are, are you the pizza guy?” Benny asked curiously, tilting his little head to one side.

“No uhm, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He explained. “Your mom invited me.” That felt like an important thing to add.

Benny sized him up. His eyes narrowed, lips pursed into a serious pout, nose scrunched. He crossed his little arms as if he was daring Spencer. It was rather silly, this five year old trying to intimidate a grown man, and yet the brunette doctor began to feel nervous. He didn't understand why. He was usually really good with kids.

“Benny, bunny, quit trying to scare our guest.” You returned, grabbing your sons attention and breaking the odd charade. Benny’s gaze traveled to you. “Go do a little clean up of your toys please. I saw those planes your pops bought you in the bathtub. That’s not their place, is it?” Benny shook his head and ran off with a loud chuckle.

You glanced at Spencer and shot him a kind smile.

“Sorry about that. He gets the whole intimidation thing after his dad.” “That’s okay.” Spencer replied. You could tell he was being nice, just like he could tell Benny’s dad was a touchy subject. Spencer wasn’t about to make it worse. It wasn’t his place. And you didn't know him well enough yet to spill the secrets of your past relationship. Therefore, the two of you stood completely still for an awkward second just looking at one another.

“Would you like anything to drink?” You asked, breaking the silence. “We have orange juice, water, or mom juice.” “Mom juice?” Spencer raised an intrigued brow. “Wine.” You explained giggling. Spencer nodded his head with a smile. “I’ll have some mom juice then.” “Good choice.”

As he sat down on the couch, you receded into the kitchen, returning shortly with two plastic cups in hand. “I forgot to ask which you’d prefer, red or white, so I brought a glass of each. Whatever you won’t have, I’ll drink.” You reached out your hands. Spencer took the cup with red wine, his fingers brushing gently against yours in the process. Spark. No, he thought. He was imagining things.

Unknown to the brunette doctor, you felt it too. The blood rushed to your face for a split second as you nervously cleared your throat before taking a sip of your wine.

“You have to forgive the plastic cups. One of Benny’s latest favourite activities is pretending to be an airplane and breaking everything in sight, so I locked all my nicer glassware away.” You explained while elegantly plopping down next to Spencer. “Plastic cups are nice. It’s like a picnic.” God, how dumb. He mentally smacked himself. Idiot.

However, your light giggle indicated you didn’t seem to mind. Your eyes widened a little, and he could have sworn they were glistening. “Well thank you Spencer. You’re the first person to say something nice rather than commenting on my parenting style.”

It was the first time you said his name out loud. And in that melodic tone of yours, it echoed inside his brain like a song. Leaving a permanent mark.

“My mom thinks I need to discipline him more, but no-one ever said it would be this hard alone.” You babbled on, completely oblivious to the silent commotion currently going on inside Spencer’s mind. “Benny’s dad was the bad cop per se, I’m no good at it. My son can cause all the trouble in the world, and still all it would take is for him to look up at me with those bunny eyes and all is good again. Probably because he has his dad’s eyes...” You stopped yourself, and chewed down on your bottom lip.

“Sorry.” You fluttered your lashes at the man sitting next to you. “I’ve been told I talk too much.”

Spencer brought the cup to the brim of his mouth and chuckled. “Don’t be. I’ve been told the exact same thing.” He took a sip of his wine.

“I find that hard to believe. You’ve barely squeezed in four full sentences these last fifteen minutes, while I just go on and on and on.”

“Give it time. I guarantee you’ll be sick of me by the end of the night, and I will never get invited over for pizza again.”

Without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand on his forearm. The air hitched in Spencer’s throat as his eyes briefly traveled down to where you were gently grasping. “Consider this your weekly invite.” You said in a silvery tone and proceeded to give his arm a gentle squeeze.

Just like that, Spencer’s Saturday routine was richer by one more item. Perhaps the most important item on the list. Pizza at the apartment across from his.

Truthfully, it was his favourite time of the week. 

During those weekly visits, Spencer quickly learned a lot about you. Where you grew up, any likes and dislikes, hobbies, facts about your family. He learned that you used to teach art at a high school; a job you loved but ultimately decided to leave after you became a single parent. Now, you work at an art gallery only a few blocks from here.

Spencer evened out the scale by sharing his own stories and fables. You were quite surprised to hear about the numerous doctorates he possessed, the work he did, some of the shit he went through, and honestly just how smart he actually was.

Each time you met, you each discovered something new about one another. Something that made you seem even more interesting in the other persons eyes. 

Although, an unspoken agreement was in place, the topic of Benny’s dad was off limits. For now.

When Benny got comfortable having Spencer around, the weekly pizza routine evolved into other activities involving you and your son. Movie nights. Walks to the park. Playground visits. Home-cooked dinners at yours. Puzzle afternoons at his. Spencer taught Benny and you magic tricks, while you taught Spencer how to paint.

Soon enough you were exchanging keys and before either of you even realised, six months passed.

Spencer spent Saturday morning preparing class materials for the week ahead, as usual. Through the thin walls he could hear unmistakable airplane noises and patter of feet running up and down the corridor. He smiled to himself. The echo was a pleasant reminder it was only a few hours until he would see you for pizza.

See during these last few months, Spencer fell head over heels for you. He fell hard. The ever present smile on circling your already perfect features when he was around, your honey-like laughter, your lavender scent, the way you were with Benny, the way you always watched the hazel-eyed doctor with such great interest whenever he broke out into an obscure fact.

The more time he spent with you, the more his love grew.

Spencer knew that he could never act on it. If he was a selfish man perhaps, but he wasn’t. He would never put his own needs ahead of your friendship as it wasn’t just you and him in this scenario. He had to consider Benny. What if the relationship went south and he was just another man to break both of your hearts? No. He’d never act on his feelings. There was way too much at stake.

Though he still considered himself lucky. Having a place in your life, being your friend. That’s lucky.

“Right on time as always.” You beamed as Spencer stumbled inside, closing your apartment door behind him. He ambled towards the coach and sat in his now usual spot - the left corner, with you in the right.

“Where’s Benny?” He asked, looking around for the little monster. “Benny is tucked away in his bed. He kindly requested a slice of pizza to be brought to him once it arrives so it’s really just you and me tonight. Hope that’s still okay with you.” “I mean, yeah, I guess that’s fine.” Spencer teased, shrugging his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes at him, but didn't say anything else on the matter. Odd, the brunette doctor thought. You always had a witty comeback. It was one of the many things he loved about you.

“I’m sure you could tell me how many pizza nights we had exactly, so I took the liberty of ordering our food already.” You said with a small smile.

“Thirty-two pizza nights.” Spencer stated simply. You furrowed your brows. “That doesn't right.” “Taking into account every Saturday we spent together, plus pizza on your birthday, Memorial Day, and the other few evenings we didn't feel like cooking, it adds up to thirty-two.”

“Holy shit. Maybe we should start ordering salads.” Spencer chuckled at your response. “Pizza is a lot better.” He pointed out and you couldn't argue with that logic.

Food arrived shortly after. You briskly took two slices over to Benny on a plastic plate, checking up on him in the process. While you were gone Spencer chose a movie. One that you would both equally enjoy.

You sat down again, only this time you sat beside him in what is usually Benny’s spot. Shoulder to shoulder. Spencer froze completely. Thinking if he’d move even an inch, it would scare you off and you’d shift away. You reached for a blanket and draped it over the two of you before glancing up at the hazel-eyed doctor.

“Is this okay?” Contrary to the usual melodic tone of your voice, the question came out quite croaky. Nervous. He met your gaze, losing himself completely in the colour of your eyes, and slowly nodded his head.

He’s thought about kissing you before and always managed to fight the urge. Although, in all the time the two of you spent together he was never situated this close to you. Your face was a mere few inches away from his. Oh fuck. 

The moment lasted only about half a second, but to Spencer it felt like time stood still. Honestly, if you hadn’t turned away to start the movie, he probably would have lost the inner battle. He wouldn't have been able to hold himself back. He would have kissed you. Maybe he was a selfish man after all.

Swallowing the growing lump in his throat, Spencer also turned his attention to the tv. Without breaking your eyes from the screen ahead, you handed him a slice of pizza which he took gratefully. The two of you ate in silence. Enjoying the movie, but mainly each other’s presence.

The brunette man couldn't place the exact moment you cuddled yourself up to him. One minute he peeked to ask you a question about something that now seemed unimportant and you were just there, your head resting against his chest.

A smile circled his lips. He could definitely get used to this.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m completely lost.” You mumbled. “And that says a lot considering I’ve seen this movie before. I didn’t understand it then, I still don’t understand it now.”

“If you've seen this before, why did you let me choose it?” Spencer asked. You tilted to look up at him. “Because I thought you’d be able to explain it to me. You know, using that big genius brain of yours.”

Spencer chuckled. He lifted his hand and began to gently caress the top of your head. “What if I tell you my theory and it ruins the movie for you?” He asked, but you waved your hand dismissing his question. “What if you tell me and it improves the movie?”

“That’s a fair point I guess. Okay.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair as he began to explain. “The movie seems confusing because it’s actually reverse order storytelling. It kind of works its way from the end to the beginning through a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards. Therefore, as you’re watching, you get a view into Lenny’s diminishing state of mind.”

You raised a brow. “Are you sure you haven't seen ‘Memento’ before?”

He raised his hands palms up. “I swear this is my first time.” He pledged, corners of his mouth twisting into a smile. “Hmm...” “I’m just extremely observant. Plus you know I love puzzles, and this movie is like one giant puzzle.” He continued. 

“Let’s pretend I believe you Spencer.” You said squinting at him, before turning back to look at the tv. The brunette man smirked under his breath. His hand once again tangling itself in your hair.

The sound of a delicate tiptoe approaching the living room caused you to sit up and reach for the remote. Although to Spencer’s surprise you didn't move away from him. Instead, you leaned your body into his side so that if you wanted, you could place your head back on his shoulder.

“Mommy.” Benny muttered. With a little hoist from you, he scrambled into your lap. “Mommy.” “What’s up bunny? Mommy was just finishing a movie, and then I would have come check on you.”

Benny shook his head. He gripped onto the collar of your t-shirt with one hand, the other travelled to your face. He pushed himself into you, angling your head so that he could whisper something in your ear.

Spencer watched as the smile on your face widened at whatever it was Benny said. The young boy pulled away, and waited for your response. “I don’t know kiddo. Would you like me to ask him?” Benny nodded, also now grinning.

“Spencer?” You turned to address the brunette man. “What is your opinion on pillow forts?” He saw the sparkle in your eyes and he couldn't help but smile. “I love pillow forts.”

Within the hour, the living space was completely transformed into a squashy soft kingdom. Benny joyfully screamed that this was the best pillow fort ever as he crawled inside, teddybear in hand.

You nudged Spencer’s arm before staring up at him. “Thank you.” Your eyes locked as your hand slid into his with ease. Fingers instantly intertwining together like magnets. 

“We haven't done this since his dad passed. I’ve suggested it many many times, but he uhm, Benny never wanted to.” Pause. The expression on your face dulled. Mouth quivering as you spoke. “Ehm, his dad was a pilot hence my little guys obsession with planes. He died really suddenly nineteen months ago. Benny was so so small. And I don’t really know how much he remembers of his dad, I mean I tell him stories all the time and so do his grandparents, it’s just hard to tell sometimes if uhm... Pillow forts were like their thing, so after his dad I think they were too painful for Benny.”

Spencer gave your hand a gentle squeeze. You were both now standing toe to toe, facing each other fully.

“I guess Benny just needed to feel ready again. Happy even. So what I’m trying to say is, Spencer, thank you. Truly. Thank you for brining joy back into his life.” You hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip.

“Thank you for brining joy back into both of our lives.” 

It meant a lot to Spencer that you finally felt comfortable enough to share more details about Benny’s dad. He never wanted to replace the man, he wouldn't dream of it. All he really wanted since the day he met you was to make you a little bit happier, and to hear he was succeeding warmed his heart.

You immediately noticed how his face lit up ever so slightly. A miniature smile circled your lips. “I just hope we didn't obscure your life too much these last few months.”

Using his free hand, he placed the loose strands of your hair behind your ear. Gently caressing your cheek with his thumb in the process. “Are you kidding? There is nothing I would rather be doing. I love spending time with you guys.”

Your eyes sparked with admiration.

“I love our pizza nights, overanalysing different movies with you, listening to Benny’s rendition of ‘In Summer’ from ‘Frozen’. Heck, I love that I now know what ‘Frozen’ is.” You chuckled as he carried on. “I love painting with you, and how you tell me I’ve gotten a lot better at it even though we both know that’s not true. I love that you get a long with my friends. I love that I can take you and Benny over to JJ’s for playdates. Surprisingly, I love playdates. I love how you let me read to Benny when you’re cooking. I love that he loves when I read to him. And of course I love your cooking.”

Tears formed in your eyes, blurring your vision. Tears of happiness. Tears of joy. The man standing in front of you was saying all of the right things, and he didn't even know it. Or maybe he did. You couldn't really tell. The intense emotions circling through your mind right now made it hard to think.

Spencer continued. Now that he started, he couldn't stop. He wanted you to know all of these things. He wanted you to know how he felt. 

“I love when we go grocery shopping all together, and how you give out to me for my bad diet habits. I love how that always makes Benny laugh. I love how you framed a photo of the three of us and hung it up on your wall, don’t think I didn't notice. I love building lego sets with Benny. I love how the two of you call me when I’m away on a case to make sure I’m okay and tell me about your day. I love the sound of your voice. I love... I love Benny.”

He paused for a split second.

“And I especially love you.”

Tiny salty droplets trailed down your cheeks as you fluttered your lashes. “You love me?” You asked quietly. Spencer nodded his head. “I do. I’m in love with you Y/N.”

You didn't say anything. 

Spencer thought he was done for when you let go of his hand. He thought he ruined it. His nose twitched. His stomach dropped. He was about to apologise, say that if you didn't feel the same way it was definitely more than okay. He just wanted you in his life. But he didn't get a chance too.

Instead, your hand was now holding his face. Your lips attached themselves to his in one breath. He instantly noted how they were softer than he could have ever possibly imagined.

You tasted like coconut chapstick. Like bliss, delight. Instinctively, Spencer’s arm wrapped itself around your waist pulling you as close as humanely possible. He could feel your heart beating in rhythm with his. As your hand tangled itself in his curly hair, he wished this moment could last forever.

When you pulled away breathless, your cheeks were flushed pink. You briefly bit down on your bottom lip before once again meeting Spencer’s inviting gaze - his arm still holding you in a tight embrace. 

“Tell me again.” You whispered. Spencer’s lips circled into a warm smile. “I love you.” He declared. You slowly traced along his jawline with your fingertips. A bright bream circling your features. “I love you too Spencer.”

The second those words filled the air, he picked you up by the waist and spun you around. A carefree shriek slipped out from your mouth. He set you down and gently grabbing your face, he hauled you in for another kiss.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you all of those things.” He muttered against your lips. His stubble grazing your chin.“How long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.” You giggled.

“Maybe one day you can enlighten me, but I think now we better crawl into that fort as it is way too quiet in there. Suspiciously quiet.” 

Spencer laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” The two of you broke apart. Hand in hand, you joined Benny inside the pillow kingdom. 

The boy was tangled up in a fuzzy blanket, slowly drifting asleep. He cuddled himself up to you the second your back hit the ground. You kissed the top of his head before turning to Spencer.

“Do you want to finish the movie?” You asked quietly.

“It’s okay.” He effortlessly squeezed his arm behind your neck. This allowed you to snuggle in closer and rest against him. “We can just lay here.” “What a perfect plan.”

The smile on your face caused Spencer's heart to skip a beat. He placed a kiss to your temple feeling 100% content.

It was Saturday morning. Saturday. A day Spencer used to spend grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. Now, thanks to the woman sleeping peacefully beside him, his Saturdays looked much different.

Gradually, you stirred next to him. Eyes fluttering open as a yawn escaped your mouth. “Mhmm, good morning.” “Good morning beautiful.”

“How much time do you think we have?” You asked while stretching. “I would say,” Spencer glanced at the imaginary watch on his wrist. “, about five minutes.” He looked down at you and began slowly leaning in. You couldn't help but let out a soft giggle. “Let’s make ‘em count.”

A clatter of fast approaching feet caused you to halt right as your lips were about to touch. Spencer groaned knocking his head back against the wooden headboard. 

“Your calculations were a little off Dr. Reid.” You teased sitting up as he ran his fingers through his ruffled hair. He looked at you once again with the kindest smile. You loved that smile. 

“My apologies Mrs. Reid.” He pecked your lips just as the door flew open, your kids bursting through.

-

masterlist

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​

[sageyrage]

Warm Hug

Mentions & Implications: This is a Bakugou x Fem!Reader fic. This is part of the BNHAREM collab. This month is all about our favorite blasty boi, Bakugou! Also I hope all of this makes sense. I wrote this in many parts over the past few weeks and I'm eternally distracted. So while I normally spell check and grammar check everything, this fic did not receive any of that lol. No warnings really unless you count language because let’s face it, this is about Bakugou and according to fandom, he curses. But since this a fluff, I kept it to a minimum. Also, I really suck at fluff, so if you actually like this, please let me know. I could use the serotonin and dopamine.

He watched her glide on water and come sliding to a stop, spraying water in the villain’s face. For the first time he was starstruck. How had he not noticed her before? They were in the same class together. They graduated together, right? Surely he’d trained with her at some point. So why was today the first day he actually SAW her?

She felt eyes on her. Cold, calculated, crimson. Her breath hitched and she almost lost her footing if it weren’t for the fact she remembered she was in the middle of apprehending a criminal. After the handoff to police, Y/N wondered if it actually happened. Did he really look at her? Did he finally notice her after all these years? A side glance from behind her shades told her that yes, he was most definitely looking at her.

He was angry at himself for not remembering. Affirmations about you from Kirishima solidified that you were there. You’d always been there. You’d been quiet, while he’d been loud. You’d been slow and steady, while he rushed ahead. He had Mina speak about you. She eagerly complied and caught him up on everything that made you-you.

“Did you really forget about Y/N being in our class? She hung out with everyone!” Mina laughed.

“Not with me. Tell me more about her.” He filled out paperwork as Mina chatted on, while on the opposite side of the building, Kirishima was having the exact same conversation with Y/N.

“It’s disheartening that he’s just now noticing that I exist. But that’s okay. He’s been hyper-focused on trying to be #1. No one should fault him for that.” Y/N played with the hem of her shirt before sighing and picking up the sandwich on her plate.

“He’s still a good guy, Y/N. He’s just never been good at socializing.” Kirishima took a bite of his food and downed it with a gulp of lemonade.

“Oh I know. It’s okay. I’ll just keep watching him from afar. I don’t want to give him a reason to lose his focus.

/*-+-*/

He watched her in the office. She gave him side glances on patrols. They would discreetly help each other while taking villains down. And then one Winter day he asked her to train with him.

"Oh! Oh sure, that sounds like fun!" He and Y/N made their way to a nearby facility and lost themselves in a few hours of teaching how to support the other with their quirks.

/*-+-*/

"I wanna ask her out on a date, but I don't at the same time."

Kirishima looked at his friend with confusion. "You know it's obvious that you two like each other, right? I mean... literally everyone can see it. You two spend almost every waking minute with each other. What's stopping you?"

"I really like her. I don't wanna scare her away." He rose from his place on the couch and frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way to the oversized window.

/*-+-*/

"Can I borrow this? Mine got ripped to shreds when a villain fought me on my way home the other night." Holding up a black sweatshirt, Y/N waved it in front of Mina's face. Mina blinked in thought before breaking out into laughter and nodding. Y/N slipped it over her head, inhaling the faint scent of smoked caramel. “Thanks! I’ll keep it until I can get another one!” With a sly smile, her pink alien friend waved her off and told her not to worry about it.

The cold wind was sharp on her face when she pulled the hood over her head and inhaled. The scent calmed her like a warm hug as she hurried home. Thoughts of a spiky haired man invaded her mind, making her already pink cheeks burn. She loved the man since their first year at UA. He never looked her way, never knew she existed. But she watched him as they faced trials and tribulations as a class, as individuals, and now as heroes. What made him finally look at her? She entered the dark apartment and kicked off her boots in favor of the memory foam bunny slippers, sighing as she shuffled to her room. She fell against the pillows and plushies on her bed and fell asleep still wrapped up in the black sweatshirt, a smile on her face as visions of Bakugou invaded her dreams.

/*-+-*/

“What’s so funny?” Y/N tilted her head, looking at a giggling Mina as they entered the doors of the agency.

“Oh nothing!” Mina sang as she skipped into the room. Bakugou was already stationed at the coffee pot, glaring at it as if willing it to drip faster with the black gold. A side glance stilled his heart for a fleeting moment when he saw Y/N walk in. All smiles and sunshine next to her friend. Then he saw it. Bakugou couldn’t help but notice the familiarity of the pullover. There was a certain tear by the pocket with a singed edge. “Where did you get that sweatshirt?”

She hugged herself in the oversized sweater, “Mina let me have it, why?”

“It’s mine.”

“Oh. … OH!” Shrugging off the garment hastily, she folded it over and offered it to him, “I’m so sorry, Bakugou! I had no idea!” Keeping her eyes down, she heard a soft ‘tch’ and a shadow moving away.

“Hurry up and get changed so we can go train.”

She watched him walk away, and heard stifled laughter behind her. Turning to see Kirishima and Mina huddled together at a corner table, Y/N walked up to her friends and hissed, “What is so funny? He’s clearly upset that I have something that belongs to him!”

“Oh sweet summer child, you really are clueless, aren’t you?” Pinky beamed and grabbed Y/N’s hand. Kirishima shook his head and laughed, “He really likes you!”

Stars lit up in Y/N’s eyes as she turned in time to watch Bakugou turn the corner. “He...likes me too?” Still clutching the pullover in her arms, she quickly followed after him, only to see him enter the locker room. Turning around, she noticed the door to his office was open. She entered his room and left the sweatshirt on his desk before leaving to get ready to train.

/*-+-*/

Hours later, Bakugou walked into his office, narrowing his eyes at the black bundle on the desk. He picked it up to examine it when soft notes of jasmine and vanilla wafted up to his nose. He narrowed his eyes and tucked the shirt under his arm as he took a folder into his other hand and left the agency.

The entryway of his home lit up when he turned the key and opened the door. Kicking off shoes and padding down the hall, he deposited the jumper and folder onto the table before unwinding for the evening. Once evening chores, dinner, and paperwork were all caught up, it was time for bed. He started for his bedroom when he spied the hoodie on the table. Gingerly picking it up he took it to his bedroom and slipped into bed. Cuddling the garment close, he inhaled the vanilla jasmine scent, and all thoughts of Y/N consumed him as he fell asleep.

Bakugou walked into the agency the next morning and took notice of Y/N wearing a new sweatshirt in an ombre gray. Scoffing to himself, he poured himself a cup of coffee. “...look better in black.”

Y/N turned at Bakugou's mumbling, “Hmm? Did you say something?”

“I said you look better in black!” Narrowing his eyes he gave her a severe look and stomped out of the room to his office, slamming the door behind him. He never did see the small smile and blush that crossed her features.

/*-+-*/

Weeks of lighthearted flirting turned into months, and the cool morning of Spring kissed Y/N’s skin as she walked into the lounge room of the agency rubbing her arms for warmth. He was already pouring a cup of coffee when she came in. He cocked an eyebrow and scoffed. “It’s not even cold outside anymore.” He watched her sunshine smile as she stepped near him, only to open the refrigerator door.

“It is to me!” Y/N blushed as she hid her face on the other side of the door, before pulling out a bottle of orange juice and retreated to her office. A bundle in black was draped over her chair. It was the hoodie she had returned to Bakugou months ago. She turned the covering over her arms, the scent of caramel and smoke filling her senses, a smile of giddiness on her face.

“Just tell him already!”

Y/N jumped to find her pink friend leaned against the doorframe. “Mina! I-I can’t do that. He’s got to focus, remember? I don’t want to get in the way of him trying to achieve what he wants the most.”

Mina crossed her arms and shook her head. “You’re so dense sometimes, Y/N. He gave that back to you. He clearly likes you. And you! Your cheeks might as well be permanently pink, and you have hearts in your eyes! Everyone in this building can see how in love you are. I’ve been talking to Kirishima and he agrees with me. We’ve been watching you two flirt for a long time, and it’s agonizing! And you know what? He’s scared of asking you out. He’s afraid to run you off. You’re going to have to be the one to do it. You’re going to have to ask him out.”

Floored by the new information, Y/N sunk into her chair, clutching the hoodie close to her heart. Her mind faltered and unable to form words, she stared dumbly at her best friend. “But- I… He’s scared of running me off?”

/*-+*/

“You just left it in her office? Why didn’t you just give it to her? Everyone in this building already knows you like each other! Be manly and just tell her already, bro!” Kirishima exclaimed, zipping up his duffel bag. “You know what? If you don’t go ask her out, I will. I think she’s pretty cute and I bet we’d have a great time at this new ramen shop that just opened across the street.”

A low growl emanated from the explosion hero, “Don’t you dare.” Still in his hero uniform, Bakugou stormed out of the locker room leaving his best friend to snicker and shake his head.

/*-+-*/

Hearing a familiar stomp down the hall, Mina gleefully smiled before moving aside to allow Bakugou to enter. “I’ll see you later Y/N! I expect a call or text soon!” Mina shut the door as she waved her goodbye, leaving both heroes to stare at each other, their voices trapped from shyness.

Remembering the sweater in her arms, Y/N rose from her chair and slowly walked toward the tall blonde. “You left this for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Are we sharing this hoodie now?”

“I’m letting you borrow it. It’ll keep you warm better than that crappy one you had. It’s going to be cold tonight when we go to the ramen shop across the street.” Shoving his hands into his pockets, he turned away in an attempt to hide the slight blush that formed on his face.

Eyes enlarged with disbelief, Y/N brought the pullover up to cover the astonishment expressed on her face and mumbled, “We? Are you asking me out on a date?” Gazing up at the man before her, she couldn’t help but notice the tips of his ears were turning red. He didn’t look at her when he nodded, but once the bells of her happy voice rang out, he turned and couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

/*-+-*/

*15 YEARS LATER*

“Remember I’m going to be late tonight because Todoroki is holding a study group at his house! Hurry up Harumi, I don’t wanna be late to school because of you!”

“Sorry Raiden! Bye Mom, bye Dad! Love you!”

The door slammed and all was quiet. Y/N stuck her thumbs through the torn holes in the sleeves and started clearing the table when she heard the door of the bedroom shut. Picking up a cup of leftover orange juice, she brought it to her lips when two arms snaked around her waist and she felt a kiss on the back of her head.

“You still have that? It’s worn all to hell. Let me get you a new one.”

Y/N glanced at him mid sip. Smiling into the cup, she finished her drink, her other hand lovingly patted her husband’s arm. Finishing her drink, she wiped her mouth on the sleeve. “A new one? But this is my favorite! I plan on wearing it until it completely falls apart!”

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou peppered Y/N’s face with kisses, ignoring squeals of laughter and the playful pushes against his chest. “Move so I can help you with the dishes before we head to work.”

/*-+-*/

Filing paperwork was the best way to wind down after a long day of apprehending villains. Huddled over her desk Y/N was writing up the last report of the day when the door to her office swung open and her sweaty husband swaggered inside. She narrowed her eyes at his appearance.. Was he wearing a new pullover?

“Just got done going for a run. You ready to go home yet?” Bakugou removed the hoodie, a hint of his waning abs peeking from under his shirt. “Tch. Put those eyes back in your sockets, woman.” Holding out his hand to a giggling Y/N, he pulled her away from the desk and against him for a quick hug before leaving hand-in-hand from the agency.

A sudden breeze blew against the two, causing Y/N to rub her arms. In a side glance, she saw her husband putting on the sweater.

"Sharing is caring, now give me the sweatshirt!"

“Hell no! You chose to not bring your old piece of shit hoodie even though I said it was going to be cold tonight. Suffer the consequences, ya brat.”

“Please sweetheart? I know I should have listened this morning, and you’re right of course. I’m just so cold. You don’t want me to get sick, do you?” Her sugar sweet words twisted around his heart as she gently wrapped her arms around him and tilted her head up and batted her eyes in a most heartfelt manner. Bakugou glared at his wife and paused before grunted his displeasure. With a sigh and an eye roll it was all over. The man scoffed and shook out of the sweatshirt and slipped it over Y/N, pulling the hood over her head.

Face flushed red, the towering blonde pillar looked anywhere but at her. “Dammit woman, why do you do this to me? Next time listen to me and don’t be so stubborn. You’re lucky I love you.”

Enveloped in the warm hug scented of woodsy caramel, she pulled the oversized sleeves over her hands and cupped the tall hero’s cheeks and turned him to face her, “I am the luckiest girl in the world, aren’t I? Thank you for my new hoodie. I love you.”

Lowly growling at the woman before him, Bakugou cocked a brow before breaking out into a smile, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous, woman, tricking me like that. I love you too. Now let’s get home and have some quiet time before those brats get home.” Putting his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her against him and felt Y/N’s arms wrap around him. He smiled against her hooded head as she giggled and together they walked, their steps in sync toward home.

[reddesertcolbs]

heather // colson baker

(idk if the last bit makes sense but it’s just my interpretation of the lyrics, pls give me some feedback on this)

requested: nope 

summary: you’re colson’s best friend, who you have feelings for and you watch him fall in love with another girl. (based on the song heather by conan gray) 

word count: 2.4k words.

warnings: mention of alcohol, angsty fic.

my writing

//

i still remember third of december me in your sweater you said it looked better on me, than it did you only if you knew how much i liked you

the december chill hit you in the face whilst colson and you walked towards the cafe for a late breakfast date. the wind gushes past you swiftly, creating tiny goosebumps which litter your bare arms, only now you regret wearing just a tshirt without a jumper to help warm you up. 

your body trembles as your muscles contract, trying to generate any heat to further warm you up, but it’s useless as the wind continues to blow forcefully. wrapping your arms around yourself, you glance up at colson briefly with a smile, before looking ahead again, whilst you rub your arms trying to heat up your skin. 

“are you cold?” colson’s voice pierces through the howls of the wind, causing you to turn your head and look up, his eyes filled with concern whilst knitting his brows together. 

“a little bit, but we haven’t got far to walk now.” you respond, teeth chattering ever so slightly, causing the blonde to shake his head with a grin before he stops his strolling next to you. 

you watch him with intrigue, as he tugs his hoodie off his body in one swift motion. your eyes tracing his exposed tattoos that are now visible from when his shirt that’s underneath his hoodie has ridden up, before he pulls on the shirt, tattoos now hidden underneath the black tshirt. 

“here, have this.” he stretched his hand out, clinging onto the blue material so it doesn’t get blown away because of the wind. 

“no you’ll be cold then, cols. honestly, we don’t have far to walk.” crossing your arms further, you try to walk again, before an arm gripping your shoulder and pulling you back stops you. 

“y/n,” his voice is stern, as he raises his eyebrow up, further extending his hand out to you. “don’t make me put it on for you.” 

“okay fine, only because it’s my favourite.” chuckling, you take the hoodie out of his hand, fingertips grazing along the soft hoodie. “thank you.” 

your heart is hammering in your chest as you pull the blue hoodie over your head, instantly being met with the scent of colson, causing your heart to thump quickly and your face to heat up ever so slightly. 

after tugging it all the way down, the hoodie ending past your bum and sitting on the middle of your thighs. sure you must look ridiculous, but the oversized hoodie and the smell of colson’s aftershave warms you up immediately. 

“god it looks so much better on you, than it does on me.” his right eye drops in a wink, a smug smirk tugging onto his pink lips, whilst you giggle, pushing his chest teasingly. “come on, let’s get a move on, your man is starving.” 

your man, how you wish he was.

you watch colson as he walks ahead of you. he is only a few steps in front but you can’t stop the various thoughts of colson from whirling around inside your head. you’re feelings for this special man in your life are through the roof, but you would never tell him because you do not want to ruin the friendship between you both. 

“hey, y/n.” his smile is huge, hands waving dramatically to gain your attention before his laughter is filling your ears. “snap out of your daydream, let’s go.” 

“i’m coming, i’m coming.” laughing with him, you jog the little way to meet up with him, his hand circling your shoulder and pulling you close to his body. the body heat radiating off of him helping your muscles to stop shivering within a second.

if only he knew how much you liked him, life with colson would be a whole lot easier.

but i watch your eyes, as she walks by what a sight for sore eyes brighter than a blue sky she's got you mesmerized while i die

“colson.” you shout for the third time in two minutes, trying to gain the blonde’s attention who is sitting opposite you on the table, before kicking his shin underneath the table playfully, which finally gains his attention. “hey, i’m talking to you.” 

“sorry what did you say?” he sends you an apologetic look, eyes flicking from yours to the girl who is walking past the table that the two of you are sitting on, before taking a seat in the chair that is three tables down, and quickly back to yours. 

you turn your head into the direction where he was previously looking, offering the girl a sweet smile as she glances over to the both of you, before looking back at him and raising an eyebrow up at him with a shit-eating grin, making him chuckle.

“i said what are you getting to eat?” your eyes observe his, watching the way his bright blue eyes that you love the most, scan across the menu that’s sitting in his ring-covered hands. however, your attention diverts from colson to the girl who walked past earlier, taking note of how breathtakingly beautiful she was, and how she was exactly his type, which makes your shoulders slouch. 

“i’m thinking about getting the pancakes.” the softness of his voice causes your eyes to flick over to him with a nod in agreement, telling him you’re having the pancakes as well, before a distinctive frown is tugging on your lips when he looks to the left again with a warm smile. 

after ordering and waiting for your pancakes to arrive, the two of you talk about how the past week has been, since it was the first time seeing each other in person for over a week. colson lets you in on some secrets for music videos and new music, but he always stops mid sentence to throw the girl three tables down a smirk. 

to make the whole situation even worse for you, he even hands her his number on the way out, telling her to call him. he can’t stop talking about how pretty she was, which you respond with short answers, fed up of hearing about the mystery girl who happened to mesmerise the man of your dreams. 

put your arm 'round her shoulder now i’m getting colder but how could i hate her? she’s such an angel but then again, kinda wish she were dead

at this moment in time, colson is throwing a get together, therefore his house is filled with lots of familiar faces. even though you busy yourself by talking to rook, who loves to spend time with you when you’re not hanging out with colson, there is a pang of jealousy sitting in the pit of your stomach when you look towards the new couple, who are standing in the kitchen with the gang and you. 

colson’s hand is linked with hers, huge smiles on their faces as they talk amongst themselves, occasionally lifting their bottles of beer up to their lips to take multiple swigs. 

you so wish you could hate her, but it was near impossible. she is so kind, and it melts colson’s heart every time he sees his favourite girls interacting or laughing freely with each other. the one thing that you liked the most about her is that she treated colson so well, and you know that she isn’t with him just for the fame that comes with his job, or anything that comes with machine gun kelly. 

she was literally an angel, and it killed you so much to see her be the one to make him laugh, kiss him and hold his hand in front of everyone. sure, before she came along the two of you would hold hands and hug all the time, but out of respect for the new relationship, you made a stop to the touching, even if it was all innocent. 

her sweet giggle makes you turn to the couple again, eyes flicking over colson’s arm that’s sitting securely on her shoulder. his fingertips rub soft circles into her exposed skin whilst he brings his bottle of beer up to his lips, taking a big swig and then licking the remains of any spilt beer off his lips with the tip of his tongue.

you excuse yourself from the group, before wandering off around the house and settling to distract yourself in the living room by playing a round of beer pong with the group who is crowding the pool table. 

why would you ever kiss me? i’m not even half, as pretty you gave her your sweater it’s just polyester, but you like her better wish i were heather

from the pool table, your eyes remain on colson, as he tugs her close to him whilst a huge and warm smile is taking over his face. his hand raises to move the piece of her hair and place it behind her ear, a blush raising on her cheeks from the simple action. 

sadness washes over you, shoulders slouching whilst you blink your eyes repeatedly to remove the tears that are threatening to spill. stepping away from the pool table to lean against the wall, your mind rewinds to last year, and you’re unaware of the tear that trails down your face as you’re stuck in your thoughts, eyes lingering on the tiled floor below you. 

--

“you look so beautiful tonight.” colson mummers, eyes racking over your body as you stand in front of him. a pink hue spreads across your face as you bring your bottom lip between your teeth, chewing gently as your heart hammers rapidly inside your chest. 

‘he’s just drunk he doesn’t really mean it’, you try to tell yourself. but that doesn’t stop the glimmer of hope of colson liking you back.

“thanks, cols. you’re looking great tonight too, as always.” you smile wide, watching the way his mouth turns into a smirk before he tucks his own lip between his teeth, eyes dilating ever so slightly as they linger on your lips, before his eyes flick back to yours. 

he walks forward slightly, his chest touching yours. his hand right trails upwards, brushing his fingertips across the softness of your cheek before his index finger is toying with a strand of your hair that is covering your face. with a gentle smile, he tucks the tendril behind your ear before cupping your face lightly, his face moving closer to yours whilst you stare up at him in awe. 

“can i kiss you?” he whispers, the warmth of his breath and the smell of tequila fanning across your face, making you nod your head slowly, muttering out a quick ‘of course’.

with a grin, colson leans forward, not before searching your face for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty, before connecting his lips with yours. his kisses are slow and soft, as his left hand grips your hip, pulling you impossible closer to him. your hands move from his waist, up to his hair, threading your fingers through the blonde strands and emitting a shaky breath from colson.

gaining more confidence, your tongue swipes across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. his lips part, his tongue brushing against yours within a second, battling for dominance. soft sighs spill past your lips as his fingertips dig into your hip, whilst your hands tug onto his roots. 

wolf whistles and obnoxious cheers make the two of you pull away, face warm and breaths shaky. turning around you’re both met with slim, who has a knowing smirk written onto his face before you turn around to glance up at colson, who’s eyes remain on slim. 

“i’m going to get another drink,” you mutter out, the sudden feeling of dread filling your chest at the thought of kissing your best friend, before you’re exiting the crowded living room and making your way to the kitchen. god, how could you have fallen for your best friend?

--

“hey, y/n. are you okay?” a voice pulls you out of your trance, your eyes lift from the floor to the person standing in front of you, whose eyes are laced with worry. 

“um, yeah. i’m fine, colson.” you clear your throat, hands flying up to your face to remove the tears that have fallen during your flashback to the summer of last year, before standing up straight against the wall. 

you glance around him to search for the girl, who isn’t standing next to him for the first time tonight, and your heart drops at the sight of her body now covered in the same blue hoodie that colson let you wear for your breakfast date. 

you shake your head, trying to remove the constant question ‘why would he ever kiss me?’ from the back of your mind, once your eyes scan over her figure, and you finally came to the conclusion that she was so much more suitable for colson. 

“you don’t look fine, come here.” his hands reach for your body, his arms wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you close to his chest. circling his waist tightly, the smell of tobacco, cedar wood and alcohol filling your nostrils, as you close your eyes for a brief moment to help stop your tears from flowing down your face. “what’s wrong? please tell me. you know i don’t like you being upset.” 

“it’s nothing, it’s just stupid.” you send him a smile, hoping he wouldn’t ask anymore questions that result in you admitting your feelings towards the blonde. but your words clearly can’t stop colson’s eyes from glancing around your face, trying to read your emotions. “i’m fine, honestly.”

“please, i hate seeing you like this. who do i need to go and sort out? is it anyone here?” his eyes flick around the room, trying to see if anyone is looking guilty before he is looking back down at you with a deep frown when his eyes gaze at a single tear rolling down your cheek. 

“no no, it’s fine. i’m getting tired, i think i’m going to head home now.” sniffling and patting the underneath your eyes to dry up some of the tears, you offer him a small smile whilst unlooping your hands from around his waist and stepping back, suddenly feeling slightly cold because his body heat is no longer surrounding you. “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“y/n…” his eyebrow furrows in confusion, as he watches your body walk away from him and towards the door, tugging your jacket over your shoulders as you move. his eyes are diverted from your body as it nears the door when he feels a hand wrap around his waist, eyes connecting with his lover and his arm is circling her shoulder. 

oh how you wish you could be her.

request here

[insfiringyou]

BTS - Past Lives (V x Cassandra)

Contains: Discussions around pregnancy. Angst. Mentions of the past/confessions of love.

Set 2 days following the events of ‘Reaching Seoul’, Taehyung and Cassandra meet on neutral ground in a cafe. 

We wanted to show some moments between the members and their girlfriends that may not seem grand or important in the long run, but that highlight some of the conversations they might have in private. We also don’t want to shy away from some of the arguments, disagreements or bickering that might take place. 

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin  /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist of fics and art can be found here

Content below the cut

He was glad to find the cafe almost deserted and that Cassandra had chosen a quiet corner to sit in. Being recognised at the service station two days before had thrown him after spending so long out of the public eye, and he had been careful getting here; taking only back-streets and donning casual clothes which were sure to make him blend in. He had considered, back in the hotel, on wearing a hat, but thought if anything it would make his features stand out more. 

The round table obscured the swell beneath her oversized jumper, and for a split second he almost forgot that anything had changed between them until she carefully rose from her seat as he joined her, shattering the illusion. He was unable to help his lingering gaze as she straightened up; her stomach straining heavily against the fabric. 

“Thanks for coming.” She said, keeping her voice low to avoid attracting any unnecessary attention. “I’ll get the drinks. Tea or coffee?”

He was silent for a moment, ashamed by his relief at her offer and realising that, like him, she was worried about him being spotted. “Tea.” He looked at her, hoping she would understand how grateful he was. She nodded politely before heading towards the counter on the other side of the room, disappearing from view. He knitted his thumbs together anxiously on the table, looking down when a young woman passed him on the way to the restroom. The rattling sound of unsteady porcelain brought his attention back, and he intuitively got to his feet as Cassandra turned the corner, precariously holding the tray of drinks. 

“Careful…” He murmured, taking it from her and setting it down gently on the table. Reaching forward, she took a sip of water from her glass and lowered herself on the chair opposite, watching him, observing. 

“You look better.” She finally said as he poured the steaming liquid from the teapot into his cup. He looked up at the sound of her voice. “Rested, I mean.” She clarified.

Taehyung sensed she was relieved, remembering how worked up and dry-eyed he had been when he saw her two days before. He had looked at himself in the bathroom mirror when he checked into the hotel and thought it was no surprise she had looked so shocked at his appearance. 

“I slept for the best part of a day.” He confirmed, blowing gently against the rim of the little porcelain cup. 

“You clearly needed it.” Her smile told him that she too was finding it hard to approach the subject they had both come here to discuss. Her initial suggestion of the cafe had seemed impersonal on the phone and he had almost protested, but he realised now why she had wanted to meet in public. Their conversation was undoubtedly more stilted than it would have been had they been alone in her apartment, but maybe that was what was needed. 

“I’m glad you called.” He admitted, taking a small sip to inadvertently avoid her gaze. He suddenly felt small and awkward, as though she would be able to see the undercurrent of his bubbling nerves.

“I know we don’t have long…I’m sorry.” She said softly, moving her chair aside to make room as the young woman came out of the restroom, casting no more than an uninterested glance at the both of them. The time he had booked off was already coming to an end, and he wished, more than anything, that he had trusted his instincts and bargained for a longer vacation. 

“It’s not…” He started, frowning as he tried to find the right words. He put the cup down and held his palm flat against the table, as though to keep his nerves in check. “I don’t want to upset you.”

“I know…” She admitted, her voice a whisper. 

“I want to do what’s right.” He confessed, realising as he said it that he had come to this conclusion the day before, knowing it was no use to argue with her, and that it would only make things worse. “But I’m not even sure what that means anymore...what it involves.” His voice trembled, and before he could think about how to cover it up, her hand slipped through his, holding it gently across the table. 

“Do you remember, when you first told me you loved me?” She asked. Her voice was melodic and kind but, he realised, without the nostalgia he would have expected. Taking a deep breath, he looked up, locking eyes. “You said you knew when you first saw me that we belonged together...that we were soulmates.” 

He felt a sour stab in his chest at the recollection, understanding that while the memory was a good one, it sounded strange hearing someone else say it. He remembered the way her bare skin smelt of incense and jasmine as he traced a pattern of moles on her shoulder; the comforting weight of her in his lap as he stroked her dark hair. She had been preoccupied with a stray strand of cotton which had come loose from the sofa, plucking at it with her fingers as he spoke, a gentle smile playing on both their lips as he trailed his fingertips from her body to the gentle slope of her nose, stroking it lovingly. He had always found her nose beautiful; more angular and pronounced than he was used to seeing. The words had spilled from his lips; his unselfconscious confession of love bearing no burden on him. She hadn’t answered at first, and he didn’t expect her to. He just needed her to know how he felt. 

“And when we spoke…” She continued. “It was as though you already knew me...like we’d known one another in a past life, and you wondered whether you’d made a mistake the first time, and were given a second chance to make things right.” 

“Cass..” He whispered, shifting on his seat. She made him sound so young, and yet he knew he had spoken those very words. Like the perfect actress; she had memorised them without realising; not knowing she would ever need to repeat his sentiment years later. Subconsciously, his eyes flickered to the place where the table blocked his view of her stomach. His monologue suddenly seemed childish.

“Let me finish.” She uttered gently. “I know you thought I wasn’t listening, and that what you were saying was just some…” Her lips twisted in thought, as though trying to translate the words in her head. “Post-coital daydream.” She shrugged, knowing it wasn’t exactly the right phrase, but would have to do. She ignored the slight flinch he gave, expecting it, and continued calmly. “But I think we both know that with this, we don’t get a second chance to make things right if we fuck up.” 

He fought the urge to explain or justify himself; knowing, frustratingly, that she was right. Instead, he sighed slowly. “Then let me help you. Let me be a part of this.” He squeezed her hand, allowing her to fall quiet. 

“You’ve still got a year left in service.” She said, pulling away slowly. He realised she wasn’t trying to pick fault with his words, but was simply stating a fact. 

“They’ll let me take the time off to be with you when it happens.” He said, not knowing if it was true. He would have to cross that bridge when the time came. 

She shook her head slowly. “If you do that, it’ll get out...your career will be over.”

“Let me worry about that.” He murmured, realising as he said it that it was a real possibility. 

Although they both knew the matter wasn’t settled, they fell silent, taking the opportunity to finish their drinks. He watched her place the empty glass on the tray, her movement distracting him from the wet streak which ran down her cheek. 

“I’m scared…” She admitted, the whimper in her voice drawing his attention to her face. His chest sank. 

“Me too.” He confessed quietly. 

She stifled a sob, trying to keep steady. “I feel like I’ve gone out to swim and the tide’s come in early…” He watched her reach for the napkin which had been placed under the water on the tray, and bunch it tightly between her fingers, twisting it absently with both hands as she spoke. “There’s no rule book or script telling me what I should do.” He didn’t think he had ever seen her so vulnerable but felt the echo of her words in his own chest. “I’m still wondering if I made the right choice.” She looked up at him with wet, brown eyes and his stomach churned at the memory of his accusation, two days before. Gently, he changed the topic. 

“Who’s been paying your rent? Ji-eun?” 

She nodded slowly, almost shamefully, and it made him ache unpleasantly that she should feel the need to be embarrassed by asking for help. 

“And you haven’t told your parents?” He continued. 

“I meant to.” She said weakly. “I just keep imagining their reaction...knowing they told me I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself.” More tears fell, though her voice had steadied, and he felt the humiliation in her words. It occurred to him, for the first time in such stark terms, that he too would have to tell his family, and the prospect suddenly seemed harder than the thought of giving up his career had been. He tried not to let on as she finished, wiping her eyes messily with the torn-up napkin. “It feels like a slap in the face.”

He let out a long breath of air. “It’s my fault too. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.” 

Her small hand was resting by the empty teapot, and he took it in his, meeting her small, timid smile as she gulped back the tears with a snort. 

“Look at us…” She laughed softly. “I always thought I was so grown up. That I was living the life I’d dreamed of as a child.” Shaking her head, she smiled nervously. “But now we both look like scared children.”

He knew she was right; it was though she could see right through him. But, suddenly, there was a strange comfort in knowing she felt the same; that whatever challenges they faced ahead would be navigated with a shared caution. “You’re the strongest person I know Cass.” Taehyung admitted without a pause for doubt, and he hoped that in her silence, she would be able to see it too. As they turned to watch the quiet lull of the street outside, he wondered if everyone felt this way; if anyone could truly be prepared for their life turning upside down so suddenly.

***

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[marvel--queen]

Lucky People || Jason Todd || Song Fic

Fandom: DC Comics

Word Count:  2,136 (including lyrics)

Warnings: nudity, sexual mentions, theres like one or two swear words but thats it

Description: It’s Jason’s birthday and you give him his Rated PG present before the Rated R present. Plus you get a little surprise of your own

Song: Lucky People by Waterparks

Masterlist

A/N: (V/N) means vigilante name. Sorry it took so long but happy birthday to my baby bird Jason Todd!! Also recommend listening to the band Waterparks in general because theyre the fucking best

THIS IS NOT MY GIF. GIF CREDITS GOES TO THE OWNER

—

You close the door, thanking Dick for helping you throw Jason’s surprise party. All of Jason’s family came by to celebrate his birthday and even though Jason almost shot Tim at the start from startling him, it was a success. Dick was the last to leave, worrying about cleaning up the party but you told him you could take care of it. The minute the door closes, Jason’s arms are around you, nuzzling his nose into your neck. 

“Is there a reason why I didn’t get a birthday present from you at the party?” His voice was low. 

“Well.. yes,” You blushed lightly, “But not what you’re thinking about.” You turn around in his arms to look at his pouty face, "Not yet at least.”

You lead Jason to the couch and give him a nervous look. “Just, uh, give me a minute.” 

Jason looked confused as you hooked up your computer to the TV. You found what you were looking for and clicked on it. It was then where you returned to the couch and placed yourself on Jason’s lap. He wrapped his arms around you and snuggled into your neck. 

Grabbing the remote, you looked at Jason, “Happy birthday, Baby.” And pressed play.

The video starts with you in front of a camera with your guitar. “Hey Jay, right now you’re at the store grabbing me something and going on basically a wild goose hunt since Gotham doesn’t sell what I asked. But I’ll apologize later when you get back home.” You wink at the camera. “But when you see this it’ll be your birthday! So happy birthday Baby! I wrote this a while back but decided to hold off releasing it until after your birthday. Throughout this year, I’ve been randomly filming moments we had, I’m surprised you never asked but you went along with it and now you’ll finally know why.” 

You adjusted your guitar on your lap and spoke, “This one’s for you, I love you."

"Light us up until we pop I wanna burn bright 'til we're not Let's keep each other safe from the world.”

The recording stayed on you strumming and singing until the next line comes.

"I'll be your optimistic black hole Full of love I can't control Let's keep each other safe from the world From the world”

It changed to the two of you in bed laughing as Jason buried his face into your neck and blowing. You squirm away from him with a bright smile on your face before pulling his face towards yours for a kiss.

"Happy birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my Mr I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen, say it all”

The video cuts to you making him pancakes in the morning before you leave for work. It zooms in on the note you placed next to the plate, reading ‘Good Morning my love, I’ll be at work by the time you wake up. Just wanted to let you know that I love you and that we’re having dinner at the manor tonight. Deal with it babe, XO (Y/N)’ 

"I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission It's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call Let's be lucky people, you and me”

You hobbled vicariously to the couch, hoping to not spill the wine you were carrying. Getting comfortable and making sure your leg is properly elevated, you open your current book and start reading. The video cuts to a later time, as seen by the darkness in the window next to you and your book soon was read through. Throughout the video, your face gets more worried and you check your phone more frequently than the start of the video. It’s the first time in a while where you weren’t out there with Jason patrolling Gotham but since you got in a bit of a scuffle last week with some of Joker’s goons, you were out of commission with a broken leg. The video cuts one last time to you almost asleep on the couch. Jason crawls through the window and takes off his mask. You jump at the sound but your startled eyes light up at the sight of your boyfriend and you open your arms wide at the boy. Jason gives you a tired smile and strips off his jacket and utilities before joining you on the couch. Careful of your leg, he laid with his head on your chest and your arms circle around him. One hand moves up to play with his hair and you see a dopey smile form on Jasons’ tired face as he falls asleep laying on you.

"My hourglass is in your hands You've got my time, you are my plans Let's keep each other safe from the world”

Your leg is fully healed and you’re on the roof of your apartment in your (V/N) outfit with Jason next to you in his Red Hood outfit. His mask is off, allowing his face to be seen with only a domino mask covering his identity. The sun is about to set behind you as you laugh swinging his arms with yours. You pull him closer to your body and started to dance. He gives you a look before giving in to your antics. The two of you are goofily dancing before it turns to Jason just holding you and swaying with the sun almost gone behind you both, casting a silhouette. You break from his grasp, giving him a sweet kiss and flipping backward off of the building. Jason is laughing to himself as he grabs his mask, placing it on and following you on patrol.

"You've got me writing sappy songs I used to laugh at on my own Let's keep each other safe from the world Because I know it's hard to let yourself be fine But I'll carry around our worried flurried minds But I'll let go if you do too"

You giggle as the bubbles from your bath tickles your skin. Your cat looks curiously at the bubbles from the rim of the bathtub and swats at some. You hear the front door open and close and Jason calls out to you. 

“In the bath!” You yell in response and you hear heavy footsteps. By the time Jason appears in the bathroom door, he’s already shirtless.

“Mind if I join?” You respond by moving forward in the bath creating space behind you for Jason. Doing this made some bathwater spill over the rim and your cat yowled in surprise before running off.

“Crazy cat,” You mutter to yourself as Jason climbs into the tub behind you.

“He may be crazy but you love him,” Jason tugs you into his lab once he settled.

“Seems as if I have a type.” You smile back at him as his face shifts into betrayal.

“You take that back!” 

“Nope,” You grab some bubbles and try and place it on his face, creating a beard. You giggle at how goofy he looks until he goes and nuzzles his face into your neck, tickling you. Screaming, you squirm in his hold as he starts blowing raspberries onto your neck. Once Jason stopped and you calmed down, you sink deeper into the bathwater and Jason places a kiss on your head. You tilt your head up slightly to look at your lover and he leans down to kiss you. It’s messy but it’s perfect at the moment. Jason tapped your nose lightly when the two of you pulled away from the kiss.

"Happy birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my Mr I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen, say it all I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission It's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call Let's be lucky people, you and me"

You open the door to your new home and let your cat free from his kennel. He runs around the living room for a bit before losing interest and grooming himself instead. You laugh at your cats' reaction to the new house and jump when arms wrap around your waist. You turn your head to look at Jason and smile, kissing his lips sweetly. 

"My common sense is powerless And I'm convinced that you Caught me lucky, it's just the half of it The better half of me that I couldn't quit"

Jason is snuggled into your back, leaving kisses on your shoulder as you try and film. His hair tickling your neck as you giggle, trying to release yourself from his grip. Once he releases you, you flip him over so you're straddling his waist and the camera is poised on him. He pouts at you behind the camera and he looks sinfully adorable with messy hair from you pulling it earlier and dark bruises marking his chest from your kisses. You lean down into the frame and kiss his cheek. During then he catches you off guard and flips you over, taking the camera from your hand. You reach out to grab the camera but he dodges it and the shoulder of Jason’s shirt you're wearing falls exposing your shoulder. You scrunch your nose at him and make a goofy face at the camera, sticking your tongue out. It ends with you mouthing "I love you” to Jason before you covered the lens with your hand.

“ 'Cause now I'm flying across the country More than monthly for you You've got me more than clumsy But you're my yellow lovely"

For a month in the summer, you went home to visit your family. Sadly Jason couldn’t come with, he had duties in Gotham as Red Hood. During that month, you two must have facetimed at least once a day and you missed him so much, especially Larry, your cat. You couldn’t bring Larry along since your brother is allergic and the majority of your facetimes, much to Jason’s dismay, was you talking to Larry. Now the month was over and you were finally coming home. Immediately getting off the plane, you saw Jason. Looking like he just rolled out of bed, in one of your oversized yellow jumpers, he never looked better. Your smile grew and you dropped your luggage, running to the love of your life. He didn’t notice you until you were in the air jumping onto him. Luckily, Jason is used to this and he caught you with only a few stumbles. You litter his face with kisses and held on to him for dear life. 

“I missed you, I missed you, I missed you,” You repeat between each kiss before pulling away and looking straight into his eyes. “I missed you, Jay-bird.” 

“Sure seemed like you missed the cat more than me,” Jason muttered before squeezing your ass and kissing you hard. You smiled into the kiss and laughed at his comment. You may have missed your cat but you missed Jason even more.

"Happy birthday, Merry Christmas To the one I call my Mr I'm leaving you love notes in the kitchen and say it all I know you said to mind my business But Cupid sent me on a mission It's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call"

The video closes with you and your guitar and a kiss blown at the camera. 

“Soooo,” You drawl out peaking nervously at Jason. He had tears in his eyes and gaped at you. “Aw you big baby,” You cup his face and kissed his nose.

Jason looked at you with love in his eyes before trying to respond, “I- oh god. That was beautiful, (Y/N).” 

You blush and hide in his chest, “Was it really?”

“Yeah, it was. Just, uh, hold on for a second.” He picks you up from his lap and races towards your shared room. After a minute of fidgeting your thumbs, he returns and kneels in front of you. “This is not how I planned this going but after watching that there is no one else I’d ever want to marry. (Y/N) (L/N), I am so in love with you, will you marry me?” He opens the velvet box he had hidden behind his back to reveal a beautiful ring.

“Oh my god, holy shit,” You gasp, covering your mouth. “Yes, a thousand times yes, Jay.” He slides the ring onto your left ring finger and picks you up from the couch, kissing you. You break the kiss to look him in the eyes, “Now, for your other gift.” Somehow, still in his arms, you removed your shirt to reveal his favorite deep red lacy bra you own and he groaned loudly.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Jason smirks before carrying you to your bed.

[demonsonthemoon]

You Know Every Part of Me

Fandom: Les Misérables Pairings: platonic Jehan & Grantaire, romantic background Grantaire/Enjolras Word Count: 3793 Summary: "Isn't it weird?" Jehan helps Grantaire pick out an outfit for her date, and the two of them have a discussion about their relationship. Note: Years ago (I'm guessing around 2014, but I'm not sure anymore), the ever amazing @anastasiapullingteeth posted a Jehan/Grantaire fic on Valentine's day. That fic changed my life, because it allowed me to meet someone I'm very proud to call my friend. I posted this fic on AO3 on Valentine's day 2020, and I'm still both proud and lucky to call Caro a friend. Also, I'm still totally in love with Jehan and Grantaire. Happy meeting anniversary, Caro. I love you. Title for the fic is taken from the song "Dear Jealousy" by Mika, because I was uninspired, and also, it's a bop. I changed some of the characters' pronouns in this fic, so Grantaire uses she/her and Enjolras ey/em (which is totally a reference to my old fic Tunnel Lights, because I was feeling nostalgic.) Also, the book mentioned in the beginning of the story is The Heretic's Guide to Homecoming by Sienna Tristen.

Also available on AO3.

“Isn't it weird?”

“Um?” Jehan shook himself from the novel he was reading – a fantasy book, one that actually engaged with the idea of language barriers, and how was Jehan supposed to resist to that? - and looked up at Grantaire. “Don't wear that shirt,” he immediately said. “You already wore it on your last date.”

Grantaire looked down at the black collared shirt she had put on, an eyebrow raised. “Really?”

Jehan couldn't help but smile a little. “Trust the only person in the room with a fashion sense.”

Grantaire's eyebrow managed to rise by another centimeter, and she gave Jehan a pointed look. There was a possibility that Jehan deserved that look, because he was currently wearing Mickey Mouse leggings under an oversized knitted jumper he'd found in a charity shop. “I never said that I had a good fashion sense,” Jehan pointed out, trying to stop himself from giggling. “Just that I had one.”

“This is why people don't trust you,” was Grantaire's reply as she started taking off her shirt.

 Jehan dramatically pressed his open book to his chest as he mimed being fatally wounded. “I have no idea what you mean. I am obviously the most innocent and trustworthy person anyone has  ever  met.”

 Grantaire's response to  that  , was to throw her newly-discarded shirt at his face. Jehan tried to make an affronted noise, but he started laughing before he could properly pretend to be mad.

“Okay, so what should I wear, dear innocent-one-with-a-fashion sense?”

Jehan properly sat up from where he was lounging on Grantaire's bed so he could look at her closet. Truth be told, she didn't have a lot of options that were date-appropriate, although Jehan had to scoff at the notion that there were such things as inappropriate clothes for a romantic occasion. Wasn't the point of those things to be yourself with another person? But if it meant something to Grantaire to dress up before a date, he would do his best to help despite their limited options.

“Go with the black tanktop that has lace on the front and your green turtleneck.”

Grantaire picked out said items from her wardrobe and oblingingly put them on, before assessing the outfit in front of her mirror.

“Yeah, I guess that will do.”

Jehan rolled his eyes. “Could you show any more enthusiasm?”

Grantaire turned towards him at that, her curls bouncing with the movement. She grinned as she approached the bed. “I'll show you enthusiasm,” she said. She then picked up Jehan's book from where he was still clutching it and marked his page before putting it down on the bedside table. It was a small gesture in the middle of a bigger moment, but Jehan's attention latched onto it. That small act expressed all the care that Grantaire put in her relationship with Jehan, and it made him echo her smile even as she bent down to kiss him.

Grantaire was indeed enthusiastic enough, and their clash of lips was anything but chaste as she kneeled over Jehan and licked her way into his mouth. Jehan was more than happy to respond in kind, sucking her lower lip between his as he ran his hands across the soft fabric of her sweater.

After making some sort of satisfied noise that Jehan would lovingly qualify as a purr, Grantaire pulled away.

“Wait,” she said in a fake-serious tone. “I was making a point.”

“If the point was to remind me of how much I like kissing you, consider it made,” Jehan retorted with a grin.

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me, young man.”

“Not even into your pants?”

Grantaire laughed at that. “That line was so bad I think you stole it from me. Aren't you supposed to be a poet?”

Jehan shrugged. Grantaire bent down to kiss him once more.

“Nice try, but these pants are staying on for the time being. You're supposed to be helping me get ready for a date, not seducing me.”

“I can perfectly do both at the same time. I'm sure Enjolras would appreciate seeing you out of your pants as much as I would.”

Grantaire blushed a little at that, swatting at him half-heartedly. “Stop that!”

It made Jehan laugh, free and easy, because the fact that such a simple comment could make Grantaire glow like this was just delightful.

“Like I said, I was making a point. About this. About us. I don't know.”

“And what was the point exactly?”

“Just...” Grantaire quieted down a little, sighing. “Isn't it weird? Shouldn't it feel weird?”

Jehan shrugged, tilting his head in consideration. “I mean, we've talked about 'this, us', before, I think we've been over the fact that most people would find it a little weird. A lot of people are still weird about stuff like open relationships and polyamory, so if you try to bring up stuff like 'commited platonic sexual relationships', it's gonna raise a few eyebrows.”

Grantaire rolled her eyes. “I know that, it's not what I mean.”

Jehan didn't say anything in reply, waiting for Grantaire to figure it out herself. This was something they'd talked about. They'd had to, both when they had first started flirting and Jehan had oh-so-casually slipped in that he was aromantic, and when Grantaire's simmering love story with Enjolras had finally turned into a proper romance. Those conversations hadn't exactly been fun, because discussing emotional needs and establishing boundaries was complicated work, but they had gone well enough that their relationship still worked. That didn't mean there weren't kinks that needed to be worked out from time to time (pun fully intended, some kinks being a lot more fun than others.)

“What I mean is that this, this whole helping-me-out-before-a-date thing, that wasn't part of the package. That's not something we talked about. And it just... I don't know.”

“You said that it should feel weird,” Jehan started carefully. “Does it?”

Grantaire shrugged. “I don't really know. That's my issue here. It's weird because I don't actually know how it makes me feel. I feel like... On the one hand, it's nice to have you here. I like you, obviously, and it just feels... normal, reassuring. On the other hand... I guess I'm kind of always aware of how it might look to other people. It just feels like... Like I'm flaunting it. Like it should make you uncomfortable.”

“You mean you and Enjolras?”

Grantaire nodded.

Jehan took the time to think about it, sitting up and crossing his legs so as to be more comfortable. This sounded like it was quickly turning into a conversation, so he might as well put himself at ease.

“Well, first of all, it's not like you're showing off something that I actually want. It's...” He paused for a moment, picking his words carefully. Jehan prided himself for the fact that he was pretty attuned to his own feelings. He did write poetry, thank you very much. But that also meant he was particularly aware of how contradictory his feelings could get, and overly conscious of the things he preferred not to think about. “It does sound... nice. It obviously makes you happy.” Grantaire couldn't repress a small smile at that, like she still couldn't believe her luck after three months of dating, and fuck but she was adorable. “Which is great. But I guess sometimes it does make me feel... envious, in some way.” That got the smile right out of her face, which made Jehan want to flinch. “Not in a... not in a personal way. It's not that I'm jealous of Enjolras, or of what you have with em. Not really. Not... specifically. It's more... Well. The feelings you have for each other seem to mean so much, and to make you happy. So I do sometimes feel envious that I don't... feel anything like that. That I don't get what it's all about. But it's all abstract. It doesn't mean I actually want it. Not really. Am I making any sort of sense?”

Grantaire had settled on the foot of the bed, mirroring Jehan's position. She looked at him, pensive.

“You are. At least I think so. It's not about jealousy for a person in particular, more about... the general sense that we're enjoying something you can't feel.”

“Yeah, something like that. But I don't want you to... try and hide it, or anything. That would feel weirder. And I think it would kind of be sad. I would rather know about the good things in your life than know you're hiding something from me to spare my feelings. And it's not as if society wasn't constantly throwing huge fucking clues at my face that I'm supposed to feel like I'm missing out on something, so I doubt those feelings would disappear anyway.”

Jehan shrugged again. The gesture wasn't enough to cover the bitterness in his words, but it was all he had to offer. Grantaire didn't say anything for a few seconds, considering his words. At least she wasn't looking at him with pity. That was probably one of the best things about her, and about the relationship they had. The fact that Grantaire – despite not exactly understanding how his emotions worked – didn't pity his lack of romantic attraction, and the fact that she was well aware that he was still perfectly able to pursue the kinds of relationship he did want. For example, the kinds of relationships that involved getting into Grantaire's pants.

It wasn't that Jehan was usually so single-minded about this type of thing. It's just that Grantaire cleaned up good.

“So it's not weird for you?” She finally asked, and Jehan had to re-route his train of thoughts and catch up with the conversation.

He shrugged again. “It's not that it's not weird. It's just that so much of my life would be considered weird by a lot of people, that at some point I stopped getting worked up about that feeling. I would say that my technique is to vaguely acknowledge the norm and how I feel about it, and then move on and ignore it for the rest of whatever it is I'm doing.”

Grantaire grinned at that. “Like you seem to vaguely acknowledge fashion and then ignore it every time you take clothes out of your dresser?”

Jehan mimed wiping tears off his face. “I know, it's so sad. For such a brilliant woman to die so young. Oh, no, it couldn't have been anything other than a natural death. Who would want someone like that dead?”

Grantaire laughed at his antics, and Jehan had to admit he was fairly proud of himself for finding friends who still laughed at that kind of things despite his having left the highschool drama club four years ago.

“But seriously,” Jehan said, back to a more serious tone. “I don't think asking if it feels weird is the right question. Sure, it's weird, but so am I and so are you. Doesn't mean I would change anything about it.”

Grantaire hummed under her breath in agreement.

Silence settled after that, allowing the moment to quiet down. Jehan let it. Grantaire wasn't the type of person to be quiet. Not usually. Not unless she was feeling particularly comfortable. Talking a lot, giving an answer to everything and having a brash attitude were all ways that she had of protecting herself. Silence was her true way of showing vulnerability.

Jehan lied back down on the bed, and opened his arms. Grantaire smiled at that, and settled into the embrace until they were properly spooning. The position felt a little silly, due in large part to the fact that Grantaire was the little spoon despite being nearly a head taller than Jehan, but neither of them really cared. It felt comfortable.

After a few minutes of easy quiet, Grantaire mumbled something.

Jehan made an inquiring noise, loathe to actually talk, which would involve moving from his position.

“I said that if you're not jealous of em, there's no reason for you to hold me hostage until I miss my date with Enjolras.”

Jehan giggled a little, closing his arms tighter around his friend. “Oh yes, that is exactly what this is, a dastardly plot to stop you from leaving,” he whispered against Grantaire's back.

“I've always known you were an evil mastermind,” Grantaire quipped back, still not moving away.

“Sure,” Jehan easily agreed. He suddenly felt confused. Was he really supposed to be jealous of Enjolras when he could have this? Something easy and soft, something that didn't push him to give more than he wanted to, but still offered him so much in return?

It wasn't that it was easy. It just felt like it was worth it. More so than anything else he could imagine.

Still smiling, he pushed Grantaire away, earning a groan from the woman. “Come on, I didn't help you pick a killer outfit for no one else to see it.”