#the first few books had some really neat ideas from her

[blimbo-buddy]

why did lightleap fade out to minor moments after having some cool as shit ideas with her character

[bubblewrapsnek]

Phantomarine Live reread: Prologue

I'm anticipating the reread before the chapter finishes cause I want to read it now again, altho I wanted to wait the chapter to be over to have a cleaner finish line for mental order and to avoid posing questions to things that would be maybe have more ground to speculate on or outright be answered in a few days This is my first time rereading Phantomarine, so if anyone is actually goint to read these posts expect me to come to realizations about stuff that everyone knew ages ago probably, also it's my first time liveblogging something since a friend suggested it could be appreciated, I am not convinced there would be interested but it can't hurt I guess. That said I hate the idea of clogging with posts and like keeping stuff a bit more tidy, so I'll post one post per chapter with my thoughts, silly ramblings and whatever comes to my mind that I feel like sharing while trying to put my thoughts in order

So uhh if you exist and are reading, have fun and feel free to interact!

First thing I'll not here with a few examples and try to not say everytime, but I can't help seeing how the royal family brands EVERYTHING with the Manta, I swear you could fill a where's waldo book by searching the mantas in Phantomarine's pages at this A manta hat, manta drawer, manta desk, and a manta polo in just the first pages, I swear they have a disney park-esque gift shop outside the palace

A manta hat, manta drawer, manta desk, and a manta polo in just the first pages, I swear they have a disney park-esque gift shop outside the palace

Bonus neat things, the candle has the same pattern as Cheline's dress and there is what I guess is a samoyede on Irving's shirt

Next thing is something I hadn't noticed before but I've seen already people point out in the comments now, Irving having very clearly pink eyes, at first I thought it might have been lighting but in the pages where he is alive they are very clearly pink, and even when in shock the characters get drawn with pinprick irises, while the others get black dots he has pink and is even more blatant in the shot with the Fata morgana stabbing them where he is eye to eye with a Fata with the same eyes

Bonus: alive Lani is very cute

I pointed the next thing in another post but I love how Cheline wanted to be sure to scapegoat the Fata Morgana so much she painted the arrows and bow too with Cheth's name bands(confirmed to be painted on by the transcript too altho it was the only possible reason they had those bad with what we know now), also I love that the cyan outline was faintly on the Fata Morgana's eye from the beginning

I am also getting suspicious about the ghosts being blue and the veins(referred as such in the transcript) that spread from the bite being purple, tho I don't have a concrete or sound thought about this

Also, something I love a lot in comics is paneling so some of this won't be thoughts but just panels that are really pretty or fun or creative here I love how the action flows very well, having many details making what happens readable such as the "magic" squares making phae's body on the bottom edge of the silouhette in the middle also appear on the heart, showing the wound being "repaired"

Love the veins snaking behind her

Something I had completely glossed over was Phae's middle name being Augusta, and I do find it possible to have a reading on it, as Augustus was the name and title that Octavian took as the first emperor of rome, the member of a what can be considered a royal lineage establishing the name for himself and becoming a key turning point in the history of an empire, just as I can see Phae become the turning point for the history of her reign, a change of the guard and of the status quo of the kingdom she watches over

End in the end, to finish the prologue of this reread, a funny typo Cheth appears, tipping his fedora: "M'Phaedra"

[rockalillygirl]

Murderbot Holding Hands

(Minor spoilers alert for Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy pls check the tags)

First real post because I’m shy. Don’t know why it’s going to be a hyper-specific murderbot meta but here we go:

I’ve been rereading all the books after finishing System Collapse <3 and I want to talk about a small moment in Artificial Condition that I’d never noticed before. It’s near the end of the book when Tapan is in ART’s medsystem after nearly dying, and SecUnit says that when Tapan wakes up it’s holding her hand.

When Tapan woke, I was sitting on the MedSystem’s platform holding her hand. (Artificial Condition, p. 155 in my ebook)

I thought it was a really sweet moment, but it also kind of puzzled me because of SecUnit’s aversion to touch. Later when I was reading Exit Strategy, I noticed a similar moment when SecUnit holds hands with Mensah to help disguise them as they’re trying to escape TranRollinHyfa.

[Mensah] took a deep breath and looked up at me. “We can look calm. We’re good at that.” Yeah, we were. I did a quick review to make sure I was running all my not-a-SecUnit code, then I thought of one more thing I could do. As we stepped out of the pod, I took Mensah’s hand. (Exit Strategy, p. 87)

Reading these scenes felt different in a couple ways. In my opinion, SecUnit taking Mensah’s hand in Exit Strategy seemed like more of a big deal because it was a part of SecUnit’s reunion with Mensah, and we see its thoughts and emotions leading up to it. And it tracks that SecUnit might feel ok holding Mensah’s hand in that situation because of their close friendship. But the moment in Artificial Condition is more mysterious. We don’t get any of SecUnit’s internal monologue at the beginning because the scene opens when Tapan wakes up. And even though it’s clear in the book that SecUnit likes Tapan along with Rami and Maro, I wouldn’t say their relationship is anywhere near as close as its bond with Mensah. So why did it hold her hand?

I think it’s a neat moment that’s fun to ponder! And I have some vague ideas I’d like to share about it. (Some of this is based on the books and some is my speculation as an ace/aspec person dealing with touch aversion.) (Also none of these thoughts are mutually exclusive!)

Maybe SecUnit saw holding Tapan’s hand as a form of first aid after her traumatic experience and didn’t want her to panic waking up in a strange ship’s medsystem. This fits with SecUnit bracing itself to hug Mensah in Exit Strategy. (The memes of this moment are perfect lol)

But I was the only one here, so I braced myself and made the ultimate sacrifice. “Uh, you can hug me if you need to.” She started to laugh, then her face did something complicated and she hugged me. I upped the temperature in my chest and told myself it was like first aid. (Exit Strategy, pp. 82-3)

But I feel like SecUnit might not care as much about comforting Tapan in a similar way if it hadn’t already built up some kind of trust with her? Which brings me to Thought 2:

I think SecUnit might have felt safe holding Tapan’s hand because of the moment in Artificial Condition in the second transient hostel when Tapan laid down next to it. (Ofc I think rescuing Tapan from Tlacey’s ship was also a factor, trauma-bonding and all. But to me this moment in the hostel is more important.)

Thirty-two minutes later, I heard movement. I thought Tapan was getting up to go to the restroom facility, but then she settled on the pad behind me, not quite touching my back… I had never had a human touch me, or almost touch me, like this before and it was deeply, deeply weird. (Artificial Condition, pp. 136-7)

This is one of my favorite sequences in Artificial Condition (which is also my favorite book in the series because of ART! And because I find it quiet, reflective, and weirdly cozy even though objectively few cozy things happen now that I think about it). The scene is pretty mundane with a lot of fun bits like SecUnit pretending to need to use the restroom, be on a diet, etc. And we usually don’t get to see SecUnit hanging out with only one person. So it gives room for some small, but important feelings that I don’t think SecUnit has time to explore when it’s busy saving the day. Like how it feels about physical contact with humans.

(idk it reminds me of how like in ghibli films there’s usually at least one scene with the characters eating a meal or something because it sort of grounds everything else. I just like it!)

Tapan being close to SecUnit seems to throw if off-guard, but the context of the scene feels non-threatening and pretty mellow. So I think this gives SecUnit the opportunity to check-in with itself about this new experience. It still feels weird about it, but not in a scary or upsetting way. I think it’s almost this mutual vulnerability (Tapan feeling vulnerable and seeking comfort and SecUnit feeling vulnerable about her closeness and its own boundaries) that creates a bond between them, and that’s why SecUnit reaches out to Tapan to comfort her when she wakes up onboard ART.

That scene has become really special to me. And I would argue that it’s an important moment to SecUnit too because it brings it up again in Exit Strategy, along with a later moment in Rogue Protocol, thinking about times when it’s experienced physical contact with humans in a non-traumatizing way.

Except it wasn’t entirely awful. It was like when Tapan had slept next to me at the hostel, or when Abene had leaned on me after I saved her; strange, but not as horrific as I would have thought. (Exit Strategy, p. 83)

These moments seem to lead up to SecUnit offering to comfort Mensah later on because it’s reached a point where it feels willing to do so for her sake, even if it doesn’t want to seek out that kind of comfort for itself. And it’s really cool to see SecUnit navigate this throughout the books.

SecUnit starts the series with a strong innate sense that it doesn’t want to be touched by humans, but it’s allowed to refine those feelings in light of its new experiences. It’s boundaries are situational and personal, and even well-meaning humans sometimes struggle to understand them at first. Other times, SecUnit finds it difficult to understand it’s own feelings regarding touch and even changes its mind. But, importantly, the narrative always presents this as valid and worthy of respect.

This is a much more nuanced and realistic portrayal of defining boundaries than I’ve seen in a lot of media- one where it’s a constant and sometimes confusing process of self-discovery.

And these might seem like obvious concepts to some people, but they weren’t for me growing up. I really wish I’d read these books when I was younger, and maybe I would’ve given myself more grace to define my comfort level, grow, and change. But I’m glad that I’m in a place now where I can see and appreciate these things in what’s become one of my favorite series.

Anyway, I don’t want to say "thanks for coming to my TedTalk” lol. But very grateful to anyone who reads this and hope it was thought-provoking. Would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on these scenes!

[fontasticcrablettes]

not sure if anyone's asked this before, but

a common criticism of Vesperia is that Yuri is never really punished for the vigilantism conflict, but I feel that the fandom's proposed solutions are too extreme or boring without much regard for his established character

have you ever had ideas on how you'd rectify this? whether it be a rewrite of certain parts of Vesperia or fanfic ideas

I've definitely thought about this before. I think the issue is that the game tried to address it with Sodia's attack on him, but due to the change of writers between acts 2 and 3, the payoff for that never really happened.

The set-up is there. Yuri spends act 2 inflicting his justice on those he has determined have escaped justice, and the act concludes with Sodia enforcing her own justice on him. But then act 3 comes, and those ideas are never really brought up again. The closest we get is Yuri calling Sodia out in Capua Torim for not carrying through her resolve and giving up on Flynn despite her earlier dedication to him. This could even be interpreted as "Yuri's vigilantism was fine actually" because the lesson he seemed to take from it was "If you're going to kill people, commit to the bit."

I've had a few ideas about addressing this. Disclaimer that I'm a novelist, not a game writer, so my thoughts are around what would work if this story was a novel and not necessarily considering gameplay needs.

The first consideration is that I don't think the game ever intended to 100% condemn Yuri's actions. Rather, I think they were going for a middle ground between his and Flynn's methods. Neither purely solo vigilantism nor a single man rising through the ranks and taking control of the Knights will save the world. You need a bit of both, and not to go to the extremes of either. So, I think it would be against the spirit of the story if Yuri was resoundingly punished and all of his choices punished and portrayed as wrong.

But... some of them should be. Flynn's side of the justice question was about working within the system, and the flaws of his choices smacked him in the face with Alexei's betrayal and realization that his actions to work within the system had led him to aid a coup. The closest thing Yuri gets to a comeuppance like this is Sodia stabbing him, which doesn't really get adequately addressed.

And after all this preamble ("#Nightfoot is bad at brevity" is a tag for a reason) I can finally get to some of my ideas for things that could have happened in the game to strengthen Yuri's character arc.

1. Repede

I think Repede is under-utilized. Yuri is not a very talkative guy when it comes to his own feelings. He doesn't want to burden his friends with his issues, so if he's going through some inner turmoil about his choices, he won't talk it over with his friends unless they bring it up first.

In a book, this could be easily solved with internal narration delving into his thoughts, but in a visual medium, he has to verbalize these. Repede could have been a perfect solution to this. They already set up Repede being a confidant when he got that title for being the only witness to Ragou's murder, but never did anything with it.

I think it would have fit Yuri's character to open up to Repede - to talk things over with his dog whom he knows will never tell another person and won't talk back - in a way he wouldn't want to with one of his human friends.

2. Alexei and Duke

There's a parallel between Flynn & Alexei and Yuri & Duke that could have been stronger. I've always been fond of the idea of Alexei and Duke being old friends who grew apart and became enemies over their dispute about how to handle the corruption of the empire. It makes them a neat parallel for Yuri and Flynn, and a dark shadow of what they and their friendship could become if they keep drifting away from each other and into more extreme deeds.

3. More Sodia

Having Yuri fall victim to the same sort of vigilantism that he inflicted on others is a great plot beat, but then it never really gets addressed again. Sodia does this huge thing, and then we never see her again until pretty late in act 3.

This kind of ties in to me talking about "Yuri and Sodia forced to work together" fic, but what if this happened in the game? What if there was some scenario where Yuri and Sodia had to go off alone together and actually talk to each other and having some messy shouting matches and acknowledge that they aren't so different?

4. Comeuppance for Yuri

Now an actual proposed scenario to "punish" Yuri for his choices. My idea is that when Yuri leaves his friends behind in Halure near the end of act 2, he makes it all the way to Alexei by himself. Rather than his friends catching up with him in the Quoi Woods, Yuri makes it all the way to Zaphias and confronts Alexei alone at the Sword Stair. There, he promptly gets his ass kicked.

The rest of the party catches up to him before Alexei can finish the job, and at that point it can switch to the whole party fighting Estelle as Alexei leaves, as in the game.

In the Quoi Woods scene, his friends call him out for trying to lone-wolf it and point out to him that he does in fact have good friends who want to help him. By shifting this reunion to the Sword Stair, just after he's almost died and fucked everything up, not only is he forced to learn that he can rely on his friends, but that he should.

5. Replacement for Ragou

It's briefly mentioned that there's a new magistrate in Capua Nor and that he's much better than Ragou and the city is so much better off now. This feels like a wasted opportunity to me.

I propose the group returning to Capua Nor in early act 3 to discover that Ragou has been replaced, but that the new guy is almost as bad. Maybe not "feeds children to monsters for the fun of it" bad, but still corrupt, still oppressive, still another head of the Empire's rotting body.

This forces Yuri to confront the idea that while he solved the immediate problem of Ragou not being punished, he didn't actually create any sort of system change. His methods alone are not the solution to justice because picking off the worst of the worst does nothing to change the system that produces and enables those people. While Flynn's focus on changing the system abandons people who suffer while he slowly reforms things, Yuri's focus will never create lasting change and just leads to him playing whack-a-mole with whatever pieces of garbage the corrupt system spits out next.

They need each other, and neither their methods are the solution in isolation. They can't do it alone. In the very last scene of the game, Duke tells Yuri that he's strong, and he replies, "That's because I'm not alone." That's the main message Yuri learns over the course of the game! Yuri goes from a lone wolf to someone who supports the help of his friends and that he's stronger when he's backed up by bonds of friendship. Showing Yuri that simply killing Ragou on his own was not enough, that he needs the cooperation of his friends all working on the same problem from different angles, strengthens that message.

6. Same Choice, Different Decision

This is one of my favourite literary tropes and such a simple way to demonstrate character growth and change.

With either some or all of the proposed changes above, let's end the game with Yuri having the chance to go after Duke alone. He has an opening to break off from the others, but this time, he doesn't. He takes everything he's learned about the necessity to work together and the importance of relying on others chooses not to be a lone vigilante this time. He proves that he has internalized the idea that he is strong because he's not alone.

7. Dark Enforcer

This sidequest could (should?) have been incorporated into the main plot. There's no reason for a storyline that directly parallels the main protagonists' journey and confronts him with the possible downfalls of his approach to be an easily missable sidequest.

---

So, there are some of my ideas! I've thought a lot about this over the years and tried to cut this down to just my plot changes that would directly address Yuri's vigilantism arc.

I think Yuri is often unduly criticized for having "no growth," because I think that just isn't true, but I do think the game flubbed the development of it. He's clearly changed his mind about being a lone vigilante by the end, but when did he emotionally process this? The pieces are there, they just aren't utilized to their full extent.

These are also all ideas about changes to the game itself, but I think most of them would also work as the basis of a fic, either canon divergent, post-game, in squeezing some scenes in.

[johaerys-writes]

hey its the anon who was asking about achilles’ characterisation in the iliad! thank you so much for your answer, it was super informative and helpful. i think i very much had the wrong interpretation because i had a classics teacher for a year before my school scrapped the subject and they basically rambled about how achilles was a rapist and awful and went against the gods etc. without really going into the nuance of everything or explaining the context of heroes. i was kind of curious about your mention of hubris though? i thought that was a Big Thing in ancient greece because placing yourself on a pedestal above the gods was a guaranteed way to get yourself smote. sorry for acting like a student bugging their favourite teacher for an answer but you really do explain things so well 😅

Hubris is a big thing in ancient greece, you're right; there are so many myths where someone does something stupid and gets their ass whooped by the gods (e.g. Perseus and Andromeda, among many others). But it isn't exclusive to Ancient Greece. In fact, the idea of hubris may have started there, but it changed throughout the years and took different forms in literary tradition. In ancient greek mythos, hubris is usually violent or dangerous behaviours, such as extreme boasting, that are ultimately punished by the gods. In that sense, hubris is external, that means the punishment comes from outside. As cultures changed and the focus shifted more on the individual, hubris started being used to denote a personality quality of excessive pride and arrogance, which are big no-no's in Christianity. So hubris gradually became more of an internal thing, a cautionary tale to make sure the faithful stay humble and are rewarded in the afterlife. In the context of stories, that often comes with personal development of some kind, such as the protagonist seeing the error of their ways and changing their behaviour, which isn't really an integral part of ancient greek mythos as a whole.

Ancient greek hubris and christian hubris often become confused, and because we are taught that hubris is SO important to greek mythos, people try all the time to fit the Homeric works into these neat little boxes. The thing is that Homer does not fit into that; Homer was strange even when the works were written. The Iliad doesn't follow the traditional formulae of stories and myths that were popular at the time, especially oral poetry: it includes emotional change but isn't a story about personal empowerment; there is complexity and nuance in all of the characters but the characters are not idealised; it is a meditation on complex social and human themes such as the connection between rage and grief; it puts mortality, not morality, at the center of the story.

It shows how vulnerable the characters are through their rage or their grief or their passions in general, but the story isn't at all about characters being punished for their hubris or wrong-doings. For example, Agamemnon technically commits hubris in the very first book of the Iliad, when he refuses to give Chryseis back to her father and Apollo gets pissed off about it. This could be considered dangerous behaviour by ancient greek standards, and the Achaeans are indeed punished for it with the plague that Apollo sends their way. However, at the end of the day Agamemnon himself does not get punished for his transgression in any way. He gets everything he wants: Achilles rejoins the fight eventually, Hector is killed, Troy is sacked, he returns to Argos a victor.

Achilles, too, could be said to have committed hubris through excessive violence, when he killed so many people he clogged up the river and then fought the god Scamander himself; and yet he isn't punished by the gods or by the narrative, he is one of the few characters (perhaps the only?) that gets a redemption arc of sorts, by returning Hector's body to Priam and treating the old man with respect, thus showing us his generosity, his integrity, and the nobility of his character once again. And that's where the Iliad ends for him. Not with his death or with him killing even more Trojans or whatever, but with a poignant and moving scene between two people on opposite sides of a war, who have lost everything and yet still find this point of connection between them.

So Homer, and especially the Iliad, breaks all of those norms when it comes to traditional storytelling, and that's why I think it's a work that still baffles and intrigues so many classicists. That's why in my previous answer I said that it's important to keep an open mind, and to try to avoid blindly applying literary criticism devices such as cause-and-effect analyses or importing modern moral judgement and anachronistic theories in works like Homer.

I hope this helped! I love talking about the Iliad so if you have any more questions I'd gladly answer them <3

P.S. WOW that professor really needs to get their facts straight lmao, I'm sorry your first contact with the Iliad and Achilles was through a lens like that. It always astounds me how little some people actually know about the subjects they're supposed to be experts in, like to talk about Achilles, a character from the ILIAD, and to refer to him as a "rapist", a thing that only appears in later Roman works which were basically ILIAD FANFIC LMAO, and BAD fanfic at that because it was essentially anti-Greek propaganda......... wow wow wow

P.S.2 unless the "rapist" thing refers to him sleeping with Briseis/a slave, which WOW once again extremely myopic take, very culturally and contextually tone deaf, I wish they actually do their research and stop spreading slander, that's slander, like come ON

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 11

Loki flew back into the city, but he didn’t head home. Instead, he found himself standing at the end of the path of the building where Claire lived. He wasn’t sure why he ended up there, exactly… his wings had just sort of carried him there.

He paused and just stared up at the building, before eventually deciding to walk up to the front door. He pushed the buzzer for her flat, but there was no answer.

‘Shit.’ Loki sighed and pressed his head against the glass door for a moment. Then again, her not being in was probably for the best, he still wasn’t sure why he was there in the first place. It was probably a bad idea.

As he turned to head back down the path, he stopped in his tracks as Claire was just coming back with some shopping bags.

‘Loki?’

‘Hey, Claire.’ He said sheepishly.

‘What are you doing here?’ She asked with a smile as she walked up to him.

‘I…’ He wasn’t entirely sure what to tell her at first, but then decided that the truth… well, partial truth, would be best. ‘I had a big fight with Chris, I then just found my legs took me here instead of home.’ He said as he rubbed the back of his head.  

Claire’s face softened. ‘Why don’t you come in, I’ve got stew in the slow cooker and it should be ready about now.’

Loki’s face lit up. ‘That would be nice, thank you. I don’t want to impose, though.’

‘Not at all. There’s plenty, I would be eating stew for the whole week otherwise.’ She laughed and juggled around the bags in her hands to get her keys out of her pocket.

‘Here, let me.’ Loki said quickly and took the bags from her.

‘Thanks.’

Claire and Loki headed inside, the lift was broken so they had to use the stairs. Thankfully she was only a few floors up, but Claire was secretly glad that Loki was there to carry the heavier bags for her.

‘Come on in. Sorry it’s not the tidiest, wasn’t expecting company so haven’t tidied.’ She said sheepishly as she opened her door.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Loki chuckled. ‘Though if you say this isn’t tidy, I’d like to see what you think is tidy. This looks pretty neat to me.’ He said as he glanced around.

She had a small kitchen, but plenty of cupboards and counter space to make up for it. Her living room was a decent size, she had a corner of books and music memorabilia behind one of her sofas, a small glass coffee table was in the middle of the room and a TV hung on the wall next to a large window with a wide window ledge she had set up for a comfy reading spot, with cushions and a blanket. Her view of the city wasn’t too bad either.

‘Bat would love that window ledge.’ Loki grinned.

‘You know, that’s what I thought too the other day.’ Claire laughed.

Loki luckily had vaseline in his pocket, so he applied some around his nostrils when she disappeared into the kitchen. He had been hit with her smell as soon as he walked in and it was very overwhelming for him, obviously being surrounded by her everywhere. He began to think it maybe wasn’t a good idea coming here, he was going to have to use all of his strength to resist pouncing on her.

‘It’s a lovely home you have here, you’ve certainly made it your own. Very homely and cosy.’ Loki said as he followed her into the kitchen, she had started to unpack her shopping.

‘Thanks. I’m really happy with this place, just the right size for me really.’ She smiled brightly at him.

She was stretching right up on her tiptoes to try and put a packet of pasta on the top shelf, her t-shirt rode up, exposing her stomach a little. Loki breathed in sharply and tried not to stare, he quickly moved closer and offered to put it away for her.

‘It’s unfair how short I am.’ Claire laughed when Loki put the pasta in its place with ease.

‘Nothing wrong with being short and cute.’ Loki grinned and ruffled her hair playfully.

Claire wasn’t sure whether to be giddy about being called cute by him, or offended at the way he ruffled her hair. She batted his hand away with a laugh.

‘Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got soft drinks, tea, coffee or do you want something of the strong variety?’ She asked as she opened a cupboard that had quite the range of alcoholic drinks.

‘I’d kill for a gin.’ Loki said honestly.

‘One gin coming up.’ Claire poured them both a drink, then she checked on the stew. ‘Another ten minutes and it should be ready.’

They went through to the living room and got comfortable on the sofa together, Loki noted how she sat down quite close to him.

Loki began drinking his gin and almost finished it all in one go.

‘Wow, I’d say you really needed that. I’ll grab the bottle.’ Claire said with a gentle smile as she rushed to the kitchen and brought the bottle back, topping him up.

‘Sorry… I’ll try not to finish all your alcohol.’

‘I’d like to see you try, I have more in the utility cupboard.’ Claire laughed.

‘I’m starting to wonder if you’re an alcoholic, my dear?’ Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

‘I wonder that myself sometimes.’ She smirked and Loki chuckled. ‘I like having a drink at weekends, I’ve found its good to have a big stash too for any emergencies.’

‘Very wise.’ Loki smiled.

He’d actually almost forgotten why he had ended up there in the first place. Just being around Claire made him happy, she was like a ray of sunshine.

‘Are you ok?’ She asked when she noticed his smile drop.

Loki sighed and ran a hand down his face, he took another swig of his drink then placed it down on the side table next to him. ‘Not really. Chris and I had a huge fight, it got pretty bad.’

‘Are you hurt at all?’ Claire asked, concerned. She put her drink down too.

‘No. Well, I was a little but I’m fine now. I gave as good as I got.’ He chuckled a little bit. ‘Dad saw us fighting though, he’s not happy about it.’  

‘What were you fighting over? It must have been bad, you don’t strike me as a violent person, I’m sure you had a valid reason and your dad understands.’ Claire said softly.

Loki knew that Claire would find out soon enough, as would everyone in the city, about Stevie being murdered.

‘Do you know the twins, Stevie and Kirsten? They’re in year five?’ Loki asked.

‘No, I don’t think I do.’ Claire shook her head. She had a bad feeling, she didn’t like where this was going.

‘They took my class last year, lovely kids. Bright and popular. They…’ Loki swallowed hard as he still couldn’t believe it. ‘Stevie was killed earlier, Kirsten saw it happen too and was lucky to get away.’

Claire was speechless, her heart broke at the thought of a student being murdered in this city. She was also heartbroken for Loki, she could see how much it was affecting him, he cared deeply for his students.

She reached over and put her hand on his forearm, to give him a reassuring squeeze. ‘Oh, Loki. I’m so sorry… Is Kirsten ok? Probably a stupid question.’

‘She’s as ok as can be.’ Loki nodded, he was trying not to react to the feeling of her hand on his arm, though he was so warmed that she was comforting him. ‘The police don’t know who did it, but it seems they were mixed in with a bad crowd… drug related.’ Loki said sadly.

‘So, why did this cause a fight with you and Chris?’ Claire asked.

‘He found them with drugs yesterday, apparently. Kirsten said that Chris took the drugs off them, even though they told him they had to pass it on to the buyers or they’d be in trouble. Chris didn’t report it, or tell anyone. He didn’t keep them safe, he sent them to slaughter.’ Loki said angrily, his hands balled into fists.

He was glad he’d thought of what to tell the humans in the first place, though he still felt rather bad for lying to Claire, even though it was for a genuine reason.

‘I… I’m sure he didn’t realise that would happen.’ Claire said softly.

‘No, he did. He knew they would be in trouble, that the drug gangs around here are ruthless and don’t give a shit about anyone, even kids.’ Loki said angrily, but he quickly calmed when Claire gave his arm another squeeze.

‘Hopefully the police will get the bastards that did this.’

‘I doubt it, the police aren’t very competent when it comes to this kind of thing.’ Loki sighed.

‘I suspect tomorrow is going to be a bit of a mess at school. Is there anything I can do?’ Claire offered.

Loki put his other hand atop of hers and smiled. ‘I don’t think so, thank you. There just might be a lot of unsettle for the next few weeks until things… sort themselves out. Students might be on edge, so any extra support we can give them will help.’

Claire nodded. She could understand now why Loki had argued with Chris, if he had at least told the police about the drugs or told the kids to stay home or something, maybe Stevie would still be alive.

The beeper for the slow cooker went off, so Claire went through to dish up the stew. She returned to Loki with a bowl each.

‘I don’t have room for a dining table, so we just have to eat off our laps I’m afraid.’ She said as she sat down again.

‘That’s quite alright, this sofa is far too comfy to move off of anyway.’ Loki said with a smile.

Claire felt a little nervous as she waited for Loki’s reaction to the stew, she hoped he would like it.

‘Mmm, this is delicious! I’ll need to come by uninvited more often.’ He grinned.

Claire laughed. ‘You’re welcome any time. I’m glad you like it, I’m not used to cooking for other people.’ She admitted.

‘Well, this is definitely the best stew I’ve ever had, and I promise I’m not just saying that.’

‘Glad to hear it. There’s plenty, so if you want seconds feel free.’ Claire grinned.

‘Oh, I most definitely will.’

After eating, Loki stayed for a little while longer, they talked a bit more about the school and what they might expect tomorrow. Then they changed the subject and talked about various things, movies and music mainly. Loki felt much more at ease than he had been earlier in the evening, more grounded again. Like he could see clearly through a thick fog.

When he was getting ready to leave, Claire gave him a container with some stew he’d requested to take home for tomorrow nights dinner.

‘Thank you, darling. Will save me cooking tomorrow.’ He grinned.

‘I’ve got some for myself too tomorrow. At least I won’t be eating it every night this week!’

‘I certainly wouldn’t complain if I had to have it every night.’ He said cheesily.

Loki couldn’t help himself, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. He hesitated big time with his lips just hovering over her skin after kissing her. He glanced down at her lips, then back to her eyes. She was blushing hard as she looked at his lips too, then they both cleared their throats at the same time and leaned back awkwardly.

‘Thank you again, Claire. Truly. Not just for the food, but for helping to calm me down and letting me rant.’

‘Any time, Loki. Whatever happens tomorrow, or any other day, we will get through it. You’re not on your own.’ She assured him.

Loki desperately wanted to just grab her and hold her tight, to never let her go. Though it was as if she had read his mind.

‘It’ll be ok.’ She said as she stepped in closer to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Loki froze for a split second, but then he wrapped his arms back around her and hugged her back just as tight. His heart was hammering against his chest, he could even hear it. Then he realised that he could hear her heart too, beating just as fast at being in his arms.

He turned his head ever so slightly so his nose was in against her hair, he inhaled deeply, yet secretly, and almost swooned on the spot. When she pulled back, it was just in time before he lost control of himself.

‘Thank you… Goodnight, Claire. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘Night, Loki. Take care going home.’ She called to him as he headed out the door.

‘Don’t worry about me, I’ll be careful. I promise.’ He smiled widely at her and gave her another wave.

When Claire saw Loki disappear around the corner at the end of the corridor, she ducked back inside and closed the door. She let out a small squeal of happiness at the moment they just shared. Even though she had to remind herself he was her boss, and this was probably not allowed, she couldn’t help her feelings towards him.

Even though he had come to her needing some comfort, she was delighted that he’d chosen her to go to, and she got ready for bed with a big smile on her face.

Though when she got into bed her mind began wandering about those poor twins, she couldn’t believe one of them had been killed. It was horrible, and she knew that tomorrow was going to be a tough and challenging day.

[cami-stuffs]

Pushing Towards You

Chapter 17: Change of Perspective

Calista woke up in Larissa's bed again, but the scene was different this time. It was still dark in the room, so she thought it was still dawn. The cell phone was forgotten in the office next door, so it was impossible to predict the time. Lifting her head, she looked to the side, expecting to see Larissa asleep. She was surprised to see the woman sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, reading a book with the lamp on.

"That's weird." Calista thought. "Reading a book instead of working." Larissa had a calm, almost angelic expression. The neat bun on her head was now undone, and her hair hung over her shoulders. Calista watched her eyes move across the page, imagining she could get used to waking up daily with that woman next to her. She didn't know if she had made a noise or if it was a random movement, but suddenly, Larissa's eyes met hers, and a smile appeared on the principal's face.

"Good morning, my love." Larissa closed the book, marked the last page read, and placed it on the nightstand. She lay on her side, resting her head in her hands, looking at Calista with a broad smile. "It looks like the curtains improved your sleep."

There was a curtain blocking the light from entering the room. The day had already lightened, but the room was still in darkness. Larissa had the curtains installed the day after Calista had spent her first night with her and was woken up by the sun's rays flooding the room.

"I like sleeping in the dark." Calista straightened up and met Larissa's lips with a silly smile on her face. "Thank you, Riss. Good morning."

Larissa lay on her back and opened her arms, inviting Calista to snuggle. Calista promptly approached, laid her head on Larissa's chest, threw the legs over her, and wrapped her arms around her. Larissa placed a kiss on the top of Calista's head and rested her cheek there. The two remained like that for a few minutes in silence. Calista felt Larissa's slow, calm breathing and heard the rhythmic beat of her heart. Larissa caressed Calista's bare back and occasionally tightened the embrace to feel her closer.

"What time is it?" Calista asked softly. She didn't want to leave there, but she knew that Larissa had her obligations to fulfill, and Saturday was a day when she said the work paid off.

"Later than usual." Larissa's voice was serene, even lazy. She was comfortable there; she didn't want to get up.

"You're late to start work, right?" Calista took a risk. Deep down, she didn't want to get up, but she knew it was inevitable.

Larissa sighed and pressed Calista's body against hers again. "I should get up and work. But while you were sleeping, I was thinking." She felt Calista's breath shorten with anticipation. "What do you think about spending the whole weekend together?"

"Really? The whole weekend, just the two of us? No work, no phone calls, and no emails?" Calista raised her head to look at Larissa, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"That's the idea, darling. Me and you." Calista's expression of disbelief amused Larissa. "But on Saturdays, you usually have lunch with Artemis, right? Would she agree to spend the afternoon with us here?"

"Are you sure I can invite her to have lunch in your room with us?" Calista knew that Artemis would love being in Larissa's quarters, but the girl's presence there in such a personal space could cause discomfort, as she was also a student at the school. "We can have lunch in Jericho if you want."

"Of course not, my dear. I will love having Artemis with us." Larissa assured Calista.

The meeting with the geneticist doctor caused Larissa to feel an urgency to create emotional bonds with Artemis. She knew that she was not the girl's mother, but the fact that they were related in some way awoke the desire to provide her with all the support Larissa herself did not have in her youth.

"I'll text her then." Calista returned her head to Larissa's chest, smiling to herself.

The change in Larissa's behavior was strange, but at the same time, it was welcome. Calista knew that school was the apple of Larissa's eye and that giving up a workday was an important step. It would be their first weekend entirely to themselves, and Calista was eagerly excited to live this moment. Despite this, she needed to know what caused the sudden change in her beloved.

"I like this new you." Calista began by casually tracing her fingers down Larissa's torso.

"My new me? What do you mean?" Larissa felt Calista's hands roam her body and began to feel a tickle between her legs.

"Friday afternoon dates, weekends without work. I can easily get used to that." Calista continued to run her fingertips across Larissa's bare chest, down her side, and back through her navel until reaching her nipples.

Larissa giggled with delight and shivered when she felt Calista's fingers move up her body. "You surprised me last night, too. I didn't know you were dominant like that."

"And it was a nice surprise?" Calista's fingers circled Larissa's bosom, leaving them stiff. Calista's mouth was close to the other nipple, and Larissa could feel her hot breath.

"Oh..yes...It was a delightful surprise." A shiver ran up Larissa's back when she felt the tip of Calista's tongue touch her nipple. She slightly arched her body towards Calista's mouth.

"Are you okay, baby?" Calista nibbled on Larissa's nipple while her other hand ran down her body. In response, she received a low moan from Larissa, who opened her legs to receive Calista's hand where she needed it most.

Larissa was dripping between her legs, and Calista's fingers quickly entered her hole. "So wet for me." She said with Larissa's nipple between her teeth.

There was no teasing. Calista passionately desired Larissa at that moment. She rested her head in the crook of Larissa's neck and felt herself wrapped in her arms. Larissa panted in her ear, moaning softly, while Calista had two fingers inside her pussy, fingering it lightly. With her thumb, Calista circled Larissa's clit, making her squirm. A few later thrusts, Larissa came, arching her body and pressing Calista against her.

Calista put her fingers in her mouth, tasting Larissa's cum. "Delicious, as always." Her peak blurred Larissa's vision, and she was catching her breath, but she giggled and blushed when she heard Calista's praise.

"I think I'm ready for breakfast." Calista smiled playfully, leaning on her arms, watching Larissa slowly come to her senses.

"Oh no. Now it's my turn." Larissa rolled over Calista and fit her body between the other's legs.

Calista laughed loudly at this sudden change in position and gasped when she felt a bulge in her center. Larissa rubbed the tip of her cock against Calista's wet, slippery entrance.

"You know, I love your body. But I love your skill just as much." Calista whispered in Larissa's ear, moving her hips forward towards Larissa's dick.

"And they both love you," Larissa responded by thrusting her hips forward into Calista.

Calista let out a loud moan and intertwined Larissa's hips with her legs, keeping their bodies close. With her hands on Larissa's back, Calista dug her nails into the other's immaculate, pale skin, eliciting hisses and moans.

Larissa loved it when she was on top of Calista. She felt their bodies pressed together and heard Calista's moans in her ear. Pounding Calista's hole hard, Larissa felt her body contract and tense, and her inner walls begin to tighten around his cock. She increased the pace, and a few seconds later, Calista came and desperately grabbed Larissa, who continued pounding until she unloaded inside Calista.

Calista felt Larissa's body relax on top of her and the emptiness as she shifted back. The two were catching their breath when Larissa slid over Calista to lie next to her. The two snuggled into each other as their bodies calmed down.

The morning was already advancing, and Calista's belly growled loudly. Her last meal had been the day before, but the sex had kept her distracted enough not to feel hungry. Now relaxed, she realized how hungry she was. Larissa heard Calista's stomach growl and quickly stood up.

Calista watched her move around the room, looking for her satin robe. She wondered if Larissa would go out dressed like that, but the principal shifted into her work outfit before she said it. It seemed like Larissa had been up for hours and that today was an ordinary day at the office. With a brief "I'll be right back," Larissa kissed Calista and walked out the door.

Calista didn't want to get up; the bed was warm and comfortable, and the curtains still partially blocked the sunlight. But she needed to contact Artemis to talk about lunch. Reluctantly, Calista got up and slipped into Larissa's office. The coat was thrown on the floor, next to Larissa's table, and the bag where Calista kept her cell phone, the heels, and the strap-on were next to the armchair. She collected all the items and returned to the room.

Scattered across the floor, Calista found the lingerie, strap-on and heels. Larissa had thrown them the night before without caring where they landed. Calista picked them up one by one and put them in her bag, looking around to ensure everything was remembered. If Artemis came to lunch, finding remnants of the previous night would be unpleasant and uncomfortable.

Settling back into bed, Calista decided to call her daughter instead of sending a text. She dialed Artemis's number and waited. On the second ring, the girl answered.

A: "Hey, Mom. Good morning."

C: "Hi, precious. Good morning. How are you?"

A: "Good. What about you?"

C: "I'm fine, baby girl. I'm calling you because Larissa invited me to have lunch with her in her quarters at school. And she would like you to join us. What do you think?"

A: "Sure, why not? I'll meet you at Ms. Weems' office at lunch."

C: "See you later, then. I love you."

A: "I love you too, Mom."

Calista hung up the phone when Larissa entered the room with breakfast on a serving cart. She had yet to learn that the school had one of those, but considering the size of the facilities, the absence of a service cart would make it difficult to transport food from the kitchen to the lounge.

As she walked through the door, Larissa returned with her robe, shifting her appearance back. Calista knew this required energy expenditure, but the principal showed no tiredness. Carefully, Larissa transferred the food tray from the cart to the bed and sat beside Calista.

The two ate in silence for a few minutes. Larissa liked to read the newspaper while having breakfast since she didn't have time to do so during the day. But it was the first time Calista was there, having breakfast and sitting on her bed, and a domestic feeling came over Larissa. She put the newspaper aside like she did with work and enjoyed the day with her loved one.

"Artemis agreed to have lunch with us and will meet us in your office at lunchtime," Calista told Larissa as she took a scone from the tray.

"Tell her to come early so you're not alone." Larissa was pouring more tea into her cup and missed the frown Calista made when she heard it.

"Alone, me? Why? Where will you be?" Calista looked at her exasperatedly.

"In the kitchen, cooking our lunch." Larissa raised her eyebrows as if the answer was obvious.

"No need, Riss. We can eat whatever they prepare for the whole school." Calista now calmed down. It crossed her mind that Larissa might want to get away from work.

"I know we can, but I would deeply enjoy cooking for both of you. Please? It won't take long, I promise." Larissa looked at Calista with begging eyes.

Calista wanted to enjoy every second with Larissa, but she knew this moment was important, so she agreed. After breakfast, she texted Artemis, asking her daughter to come early to meet her. The challenge now was to find suitable clothes for family lunch. Calista had left the house the night before with just her lingerie and coat; she hadn't taken any change of clothes.

Larissa's clothes were too big for Calista, but there was no other way. Calista chose the smallest and most comfortable clothes from the closet and headed to the bathroom to shower while Larissa organized the service cart with the utensils used for breakfast.

Having showered, Larissa and Calista snuggled up on the sofa. Calista lay down between Larissa's legs, the head on her chest, and turned on the television. Larissa cradled Calista and placed the book on her back.

From time to time, Larissa kissed Calista's head, distracted by the book, eliciting small hums of satisfaction from the other. Casually, Larissa proposed that Calista leave some changes of clothes in her closet for when she came to spend the night. Calista smiled and happily agreed.

It was a simple and practical suggestion. But Calista has been through this same process with Gaia before. It always starts with one piece of clothing for emergencies, and suddenly, you're sharing your wardrobe with someone else. With Larissa, it would be different, but, well, the day was ripe for taking risks.

"You could leave some clothes at my apartment, too. Maybe spend the night there after a day of work without us waiting until the weekend." Calista felt the change in Larissa's breathing.

"That would be a good idea, my dear." Larissa's heart was racing. "But I work late during the week. I don't want you to wait for me and get a little sleep."

"Hm...I see." Calista's mind was now agitated; the next step could mean progress in their relationship, but it could also push Larissa away. "I can give you an extra key. If you're late, you can join me in bed."

That was it. The die has been cast. Calista felt Larissa's body stiffen beneath her, and her breathing stopped for a few seconds. Anxiety rose within her chest at the possibility that she had misunderstood the signs. She was ready to take back what she had said and make up some excuse when Larissa relaxed, closed the books, and hugged her.

"That would be wonderful, my love." Larissa smiled. "Who knows, maybe it's an incentive to stop working a little earlier and still catch you awake at home."

"I would like this." Calista raised her head to look at Larissa, being greeted with a kiss.

At that moment, on the coffee table, Calista's phone buzzed, causing a wave of laughter from both of them. It was Atermis announcing that she was in Larissa's office.

Larissa quickly got up from the couch to look for Artemis in the next room while Calista straightened up. A few seconds later, the girl entered the room shyly, which was rare for her. Calista got up to hug her daughter, and Larissa went to the kitchen, asking them both to make themselves comfortable.

"Ms. Weems has a really nice room." Artemis looked around her until her eyes stopped on her mother. "And you look good in her clothes, mumma C."

Calista blushed slightly and snorted, signaling the sofa for her daughter to sit with her. It was strange to be with Artemis in Larissa's room while she was in the kitchen preparing lunch. The girl didn't seem to mind and quickly settled down and started talking about her week.

Artemis told her about her experience at Outreach Day serving customers at The Weathervane. Calista noticed that the girl avoided saying Xavier's name, referring only to her work partner, blushing every time.

Calista didn't want to pressure her daughter into telling her about her feelings towards Xavier. She knew Artemis would look for her when the time came. It was the first time the girl had experienced being emotionally close to someone other than Calista or Gaia herself. Even though she was curious, Calista decided to wait for the right time and let the girl lead the story in whatever way was fascinating.

"So, are you and Ms. Weems going to have kids?" Artemis was the opposite of her mother. In fact, she seemed more like Gaia's daughter than Calista's.

"Genetics doesn't really mean anything, does it? Sometimes it feels like I'm seeing mumma G when I hear you." Calista gasped. "Where did this idea come from?"

"It's obvious, right? Ms. Weems seemed upset when you said you didn't want more children." Of course, Artemis paid attention to everything, even though she didn't comment.

"Hm...Well, it's not a closed case. I promised her I'd think about it." Calista leaned back on the couch and rested her head on her hand. "What do you think?"

"I wish I had a sibling," Artemis said with a shrug. "And I think it would do Ms. Weems good. She's cooking for us on Saturdays when she typically works so much that we hardly see her during meals. The students think she feeds on light or something like that."

Calista laughed when she heard this. It made perfect sense since Larissa spent most of her time at the office and skipped meals. Larissa entered the room, bringing their lunch while Calista laughed.

"What is so funny?" She smiled, placing her hands on her hips.

"The students think you feed on light." Calista smiled.

"Well, they should see this meal I prepared for us." Larissa smiled back and opened the cloches on the service cart.

The three gave up sitting at the table in Larissa's office and settled on the sofa and armchairs. Artemis sat on the floor and was the first to express her satisfaction with the food uniquely and originally.

"It's delicious, Ms. Weems. You're ready to marry my mother. She hates cooking." The girl smiled and continued looking at the plate.

Calista closed her eyes and sighed, letting her shoulders slump. Artemis didn't know how to be subtle at all. When she opened her eyes, Larissa was looking at her, smiling.

"Do you think so, darling?" Larissa asked, taking a forkful to her mouth.

"For sure." The girl agreed, still with her head down but smiling. "By the way, my mother is lucky in that regard."

Larissa giggled. Calista looked exasperatedly at the other two without knowing what to say.

"I'm going to ignore you two, the fact that you're making fun of me and my lack of inclination to cook. The meal is too good to have a chat." Calista filled her mouth with food, and as she chewed, she watched Larissa.

The principal didn't seem at all bothered by the hint of marriage. She seemed delighted with Artemis' placement as if the girl was blessing them both.

The three spent the afternoon talking in Larissa's rooms. Artemis was curious to learn more about shapeshifting, and Larissa patiently answered all her questions, lending the girl a book from her collection on the subject.

The two were comfortable in each other's presence, and Calista observed their interaction, saying very little and listening more. Larissa seemed calm. She did not mention work or look at her cell phone, which was forgotten on the nightstand. This change in perspective filled Calista's heart with hope, and the topic of children returned to her mind as she watched Larissa and Artemis talk.

Larissa gave Calista tender looks and received a smile and a nod in return. The day was beautiful, and before it was over and Artemis had to leave, she quickly went to the kitchen and returned with two mugs of hot chocolate and a cup of coffee. That day with family made her feel light and relaxed and made her forget about work. She just thought she wanted many more days ahead of her next to Calista and Artemis and, who knows, one more little person with them.

Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

[pixelkip]

Curiosities of Lotus Asia ch. 35 has an Aibo in it and I'm gonna be a nerd about it.

Ok I have no idea just how many touhou fans are aware of Laika, Rinnosuke's robot dog introduced in CoLA ch35 but if you're not aware, he finds this robot and it causes all sorts of chaos and wrecks his shop, and they eventually find out its possessed by a puppy spirit. If you're at all curious, go read it on the touhou wiki if you haven't already.

How do I know for sure that it's an Aibo? Well, on top of the fact it definitely resembles one, Sumireko suggests naming it Aibo and in BAiJR Aya literally says it's an aibo. This is one of the few things she probably didn't lie about in this book bc how the hell would she otherwise even know what an aibo is TO be able to lie about it.

(Side note, the official name is just "AIBO", im not sure why she calls it AIBO buddy here, maybe bc aibo is a pun on the japanese word meaning buddy but why tack it onto the end? Idk)

Ok for those who don't know what an aibo is, it's a series of robot dogs Sony made, there were several models released between 1999-2006, and later had the ers-1000 in 2018 which is still available (and I personally have an ers-111 :3)

Pictured: aibo models ers-310, 220, 110, 210, and 7

Ok, so, what kind of AIBO is Laika then?

This is where it gets.. confusing.

this line from sumireko would imply it's an ers-110, as it was the very first model of aibo ever released.

But.. laika doesn't look much like a 110

Ok the way she's drawn doesn't look that close to ANY real model of aibo, but the drawing makes her look more like a 210, with the (probably) white coloration, visor shape, and upturned ears.

(110 vs 210)

It's also possible she doesnt resemble any model too closely to avoid copyright issues, but even then she visually resembles a 210 much more than a 110.

Other than that ch35 doesn't give us much else to determine her model, she doesn't display any particular behaviors that would indicate it, rinnosuke says her expressions can't be read implying her eye lights are non functional, and that she's completely silent. Aibos LOVE to make noise, and usually communicate through music and tones, so it's likely the animal spirit is simply pup-petting (hehe) a nonfunctional aibo body. Rinnosuke also mentions that it's begun to actually listen to him, which would imply a 210 or later (110 and 111 do not have voice recognition) if it weren't for the possibility that again, it's just the puppy controlling it.

So there's a few possibilities here.

- zun didn't depict her to be any particular model to not get smited by sony's lawyers

- she is a 110 but for whatever reason, be it a miscommunication or just zun or the artist deciding it didn't matter that much, that isn't reflected in the art

- sumireko is wrong, and she is a 210

Or maybe she's just a 110 with some cool customization, like paint and custom ear pieces. Then again, she did pass into gensokyo meaning she's been totally forgotten, and that seems less likely if someone took the time to customize her.

So now im curious. Given the evidence, what do YOU think laika is? Even if you didn't know shit about aibo before this post, hell, ESPECIALLY if you didn't, what do you think?

Personally I kinda like to think she's a 210 bc I think they're neat. Maybe even a gold 210, since the yellow tinge in the cover art makes her look like the very pale gold of the pale gold 210s. But as an existing aibo enjoyer I'm a little biased

I really hope laika gets to come back at some point, I have a little bit of hope since beast spirits as a plot point have become a lot more significant. She seems like a very good doggy :]

If you for some reason read all of this thank you for indulging my insanity

[violet-stormbringer]

The Princess and The Thorne, Chapter Fourteen: The Princess and The Thorne.

A week had passed since the Gallatin graduation, and in all the chaos Ras barely had any time to speak with anybody properly, even her closest friends. 

She was whisked away to the Thorne Family estate, riding in a carriage alone through the districts of Fenburg. Despite her protestations, she didn’t really have anywhere else to go, and Inspector Burgin was insistent that Ras remain in Westerlind until things came to a close.

The air was full of pollen and was unpleasantly muggy compared to the clean air of the mountains. Ras despised how heavy it felt.

She hauled her luggage up the drive and let herself in. Matilda wasn’t here; she had business to deal with on the coast, and after a fortnight or so she’d travel to a summer home in the Hanwells, awaiting Ras if she wished to go. The only person on estate grounds was Ras, with a note to lock up if she decided to spend the summer holidays elsewhere.

The manor was clean and neat, and in the dining room a vase of flowers on the table. Bellflowers, tucked neatly into the vase and in various shades of blue and purple.

Beside the vase, letters were stacked neatly. One was in an official, embossed envelope from the Inspection Board. Ras grabbed it and tore it open, peeking at the contents inside.

Inside was a beautifully-handwritten letter from Inspector Burgin;

‘Master Thorne, First off, I would like to personally thank you for your part in bringing Lady Renaldt’s misdeeds to light. Her passing remains an unfortunate byproduct of her sins, and criminal though she was, she will be missed by a few.  The criminal known as Schroeder has been apprehended and jailed, to serve a sentence for many years. In addition, you will be pleased to know that Blaise Marechal and Cezara Dalca are safe as well, thanks to your timely intervention. I would like to formally apologize to you on Gallatin’s behalf for the trouble you have been caused. As you already have plans to teach at Gallatin, I would like to invite you to speak with me personally at your earliest convenience in regards to your input on what happens to Gallatin next. Should you accept, do not hesitate to find me at the Westerlind Educational Inspection Board headquarters, address below. Beyond that, rest assured that the investigation is nearing it’s conclusion, and barring any hiccups, you are free to leave Westerlind for the Summer Holidays. Respectfully, Inspector Kathrili Burgin, Westerlind Educational Inspection Board. PS. Give my regards to Mistress Thorne, would you?’

Ras looked at the clock. It was only mid-afternoon. Perhaps a talk with Inspector Burgin wouldn’t be a bad idea before she let loose for the festival.

She tucked the letter into her pocket, and made her way outside. She hailed a taxi, and as she got in she gave the address to the driver. With a nod in response, the cab lurched forward and Ras was on her way.

In a matter of minutes, she reached her destination. Exiting the cab with a thank you, she made her way inside. When the secretary stopped her, she showed the letter from Inspector Burgin, and she was directed where to go.

Inspector Burgin’s office wasn’t nearly as lavish as Lady Renaldt’s, somehow a surprise to Ras in the moment, but after a bit of thinking she realized it fit the rather simple woman.

A few chairs, some bookshelves, and a desk stacked with paperwork and a large book opened with both pages facing upwards. Inspector Burgin was in her chair, and when she saw Ras, she stood up, offering a hand to her.

“Master Thorne. I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

Ras took Inspector Burgin’s hand, shaking it before she sat down. “I had some time to kill, figured I might as well get this out of the way, you know? And, please, you can call me Ras.”

Inspector Burgin nodded, sitting back down in her chair. “Of course, of course. Regardless, thank you for accepting the invitation, Ras. As you know, I wanted to talk to you about Gallatin’s future.”

A pause, as if she waited for Ras to respond.

“Me, personally, I wouldn’t want anything more to do with the place, teaching job or otherwise. But seeing as you haven’t put in a resignation before even beginning, I can tell you’re still interested in working there, no?”

“That’s right. It wasn’t Gallatin that wronged me, it was Lady Renaldt. Now that she’s gone, I have no doubts the college will retain it’s repute with more savory means available to them.”

Inspector Burgin nodded again, steepling her fingers. “It’s that sort of attitude that interests me, Ras. You seem particularly invested in the place, despite everything.”

“Gallatin is where I got my second chance, Inspector Burgin. If it weren’t for the college taking me in…well, I try not to think too much about it.”

“Right, well, that brings me to my offer, then. As the one who ousted Lady Renaldt, and one invested heavily in it’s future, I feel you’d be a perfect fit. That said, I’m only going to make this offer once, so if you refuse now, you cannot go back on it.”

“Well, I can hardly refuse or accept with such cryptic statements, now can I? Care to tell me exactly what you’re offering?”

Inspector Burgin’s eyes gleamed, and she offered a smile. “Of course. Ras Thorne, I would like you to take over as Headmistress of Gallatin College, provided you remain interested in the affairs and well-being of the college after two years of teaching.”

There was no hesitation for Ras. “Absolutely.”

Inspector Burgin nodded, as if she’d expected this answer. “Good. After two years of teaching, you shall be reviewed by the Inspection Board. Provided you pass that, I shall reach out to you to confirm whether or not you still hold interest in the position.”

A pause.

“Until then, Mr. Griffith shall take over as Headmaster, and he shall oversee your progress both as a teacher and as a potential successor. A written agreement and contract will be drafted after the Summer Holidays, to be signed by all parties.”

“Sounds good to me. I look forward to it.”

Inspector Burgin nodded again, this time putting on another smile. “Well! With that out of the way, is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

Ras took a moment to think. “...As it happens, yes. I would like Gallatin to make official reparations to the families of Blaise Marechal, Cezara Dalca, Emily Karson, and Gaspard Breiner.”

“Certainly. The Inspection Board, as well as the Renaldt Estate, will offer monetary recompense to the families of those who suffered. I’m sure they appreciate your concern.”

Ras nodded at that, standing up with a sigh. “Right, well, that’s everything. I shall see you again later.”

“Enjoy your Summer Holidays, Master Thorne.”

With that, Ras exited the building and made her way back home. Back in her dining room, she decided to write to Rosario, requesting to spend the holidays together, as well as the prospect of moving in.

After receiving a return letter that evening, with Rosario declaring that she’d love to see Ras again, she made plans to go to The Hanwells, to meet Rosario.

On the train that next morning, Ras had gathered the letters left by the vase and began to sift through them, reading one-by-one.

The first was a letter from her Uncle Gerald. He spent the first paragraph delighting about Ras’ romantic connection to Princess Rosario, expressing a desire to attend her wedding if she would have him. As if she’d exclude him. 

He went on to congratulate her for her teaching post at Gallatin, as well as her role in exposing Lady Renaldt. He mourned her death, recalling one summer he and Irwin had spent with her before suddenly she cut contact with them. 

In addition to all that, he excitedly told of how Matilda was seeking help to improve herself, and how wonderful it was to see glimpses of the lovely woman she once was yet again. He was far more forgiving than Ras was.

Ras smiled, tucking the letter into her bag. At least he was happy. With that, she turned her attention to the next letter. It was from Gonzalez.

She sounded cheerful enough, if a little bored about summer. She requested Ras write back soon, as she needed to know everything about what happened at Graduation.

Her next letter was from Hartmann and Freddie both. They were having a wonderful time spending the summer with Freddie’s family, with Hartmann declaring that she’s cut her family off until they accepted that she was capable of her own decisions and could learn to be happy for her. They ended it with a desire to meet up again, and demanded Ras tell the whole story to them.

Next, a letter from Max and Delacroix. They were enjoying themselves at the beach, with Max declaring that Ras make Gallatin a fun place in case any of her children ever attended. Like the others, they asked Ras to write back.

A letter from Karson. She didn’t mention the events of graduation, but she did offer many thanks to Ras, the situation clearly on her mind.

Apparently her family’s house in Fenburg was ridiculously busy at the moment; she was staying with her fathers, her grandfathers, and her sisters. It was a tight squeeze indeed. “But I got a letter saying I’ve come into a substantial amount of money,” her letter stated. “That’s interesting. It means I can move back to Fenburg permanently, though—where I was suddenly offered a job by a Mister Gerald. I guess that means, if you ever go back home, you’ll not be rid of me anytime soon.”

Karson finished her letter off promising to write Ras, as well as offering her more thanks.

A letter from Auguste caught Ras’ eye next, and she raised an eyebrow. Certainly unexpected.

The letter opened with a harried tone and ramblings about how the reports of her mother were surely lies and that this was all slander on Ras’ part, but even her accusations were baseless and filled with uncertainty. 

Eventually, she ended it with an apology, and asked Ras to write back with the hope that they could possibly be friends.

Another letter caught her eye, and this one was from Florin of all people. She opened it with a declaration of love for Ras, followed by a ‘just kidding!’ and a heart drawn in the ink. 

She detailed about her trip in the Hanwells, and then went on to say that she was being sent away to the military by her Fathers. She was afraid, and told Ras that much, ending the letter off with a request to keep in contact.

Next, a letter from Blaise. The writing was messy and rushed. She explained that she was catching up with her parents. “They were able to buy a place in Fenburg,” she wrote. “Apparently it was an unexpected windfall. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Anyway, I’m going to be doing my final year back at Gallatin. If you end up being my teacher…go easy on me?”

At the end of it, she demanded that Ras keep in touch with her, and Ras had a feeling that she was a bit lonelier than she’d care to admit.

Letters from her teachers, Miss Dalca, Mr. Griffith, and Mr. Blanchard all wrote in to thank Ras for her efforts in exposing Lady Renaldt, as well as her assistance in bringing the three of them together. They expressed joy at Ras’ decision to become a teacher at Gallatin, and looked forward to working with her in the future.

And finally, an official letter from Mr. Griffith on behalf of Gallatin College. He confirmed her placement as a teacher, as well as a reminder that she is to succeed him in taking over the college in two years time, should she still be interested in the position.

He ended the letter with a heartfelt thank you.

The train slowed to a halt, and the whistle blew. “All change for South Hanwell!” a guard bellowed. Doors slammed open, luggage carts were hauled, and Ras made to disembarked.

A cluster of people stood on the wide, spacious platform; in the center was Rosario, her hand up against the glare of the sunshine. She was wearing a pale blue tea dress, and she looked entirely at ease.

One of Rosario’s entourage whisked Ras’ luggage away, and Rosario kissed her girlfriend on both cheeks before leading her away to a private cab. “You arrived just at the right time,” she said. “There was a thunderstorm last night, but it’s lovely now!”

She beamed at Ras the entire ride. 

The royals’ summer estate sat a little way inland, amidst woods and farmland. Rosario explained that her immediate family weren’t there yet—they were due in a couple of days—but her cousin was eager to meet Ras. As the cab drew up the long drive, Ras spotted the cousin sitting beneath a parasol on an immaculately-kept lawn. He looked older than Ras, and when Rosario called out to him, he hurried over with a pinprick-frown between his brows.

“The Honorable Leandro del Quiros,” he said, shaking Ras’ hand. He spoke Westerlind with the same faint Zaledoan accent as Rosario, and the same cut-glass pronunciation.

He turned to Rosario straightaway, blocking Ras with his shoulder, speaking to her in Zaledoan too quickly for Ras to grasp. Not that she spoke it anyway. Rosario rolled her eyes, punched Leandro lightly on the shoulder, and said, “Come on, Ras, I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.”

As Ras was led into the towering main house, Rosario let out a ‘tsk’.

“Ignore him,” she said, “He’s just worried about people gossipping.”

“Ah, please,” Ras grinned. “If he’s anything like Ibarra, he’ll warm up to me in time.”

Rosario giggled. “He’s like that with everyone, don’t worry about him.”

Inside, the mansion was palatial. The ceilings soared, sculptures stood beside every door, and portraits of former Zaledoan monarchs and aristocracy were everywhere. The bright, colorful tiles making up the floor were exquisitely patterned; it almost felt wrong for Ras to walk across them.

Rosario strolled through the luxury without heed, leading Ras upstairs to a suite filled with expensive ornaments and lush plants. The four-poster bed was set above the floor, and was larger than anything Ras had seen. “Here’s your room,” she said. “But we can meet up and talk in the night, if you want. I’m only in the next suite.”

She glanced at the wall beside the window, where a haphazard, but bright, mural of swirling colors had been painted. She laughed ruefully.

“I did that when I was fourteen,” she said. “I said that to my father that he should paint over it, but he said he likes it. Sorry.”

Ras shook her head, smiling. “Naw. I think it’s sweet.”

Rosario ran a hand over her hair. “You’re adorable. Thank you, Ras.”

Rosario went to the window-seat and beckoned Ras to sit beside her. The view out was gorgeous: the garden was in full bloom, and the ocean sparkled in the distance.

“I wanted to say,” she said, “that it was incredibly brave of you to confront Lady Renaldt the way you did…”

Ras shook her head. “Nah, it wasn’t anything like that. I just did what any woman would do in my position.”

Rosario smiled. “You’re just like a fairytale Hero. It’s kind of cute, the way you go on as you do.”

A pause, and then she shifted her seat, looking to change the topic. “...I haven’t walked out with someone long-distance before,” she said. “Do you…think we can stay in touch?”

Ras took a seat next to Rosario, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and smiling. “Course we will, my love. Have no worries, yeah?”

Rosario sighed, leaning against Ras. “It’s going to be so different when I go home,” she said, “More ceremony. More formality. Much less freedom.” She looked embarrassed. “Sorry. I know how lucky I am.”

“It does sound difficult. But don’t worry, yeah? We’ll figure something out.”

Rosario nodded. “Thank you, Ras,” she said. “Some would say I should shut up ‘cause of what I have. Many of the Archambault people would have, anyway…”

Ras rolled her eyes. “Yeah and those people are losers. You know what you are?”

Rosario raised an eyebrow as Ras turned her head to look down at her. “What am I?”

“You’re a Thorne now,” she whispered, tilting Rosario’s head upwards so that she could kiss her. Rosario made a pleased noise against Ras’ mouth, her fingers pulling through Ras’ hair and sending tingles down the back of her neck.

Leandro’s voice called up from the garden. “Rosario! Master Thorne! We’re serving afternoon tea.”

Rosario drew back, giving Ras a smile. “We could…wait a bit longer,” she murmured.

After a moment, Leandro called down, as if he’d heard her. “Rosario! Come down!”

Rosario groaned, nudging the window open with a comical roll of her eyes. “Coming!” She shouted.

Ras chuckled at the display, taking a moment to think as Rosario gathered herself. It was dizzying to think how much had happened. Could it have gone differently? If she’d known everything from the start, would she have made the same choices she did?

She liked to think she would.

For now, however, she had to disregard the past. She had Rosario’s company, and a packed calendar. Talking to do, and a wedding to plan; formal dinners, royal parties, and dancing until dawn. So much to look forward to, so much to do.

Rosario rose, taking Ras’ hand, and the pair walked downstairs for tea.

Outside, the birds trilled in the trees, and the summer flowers made the warm air heavy with scent. A faint smell of salt drifted in on the breeze.

Ras pulled something from her pocket, presenting it to Rosario with a smile.

She held out a flower. It was a dark blue color with curved petals to form the shape of a small bell. Inside, a pistil long and slender, with a nub at the end, mimicking the clapper of the bell.

She tucked it into Rosario’s hair, still smiling. “...my favorite flower.”

With that little show of affection out of the way, Ras and Rosario sat down for tea, and their summer holiday had officially begun.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

a trailer for Clementine Book Two dropped and y'all... it looks kinda good

T'was a stormy Thursday afternoon as I sat exhausted in my comfy chair after a long day at work, but with the weekend in sight I had little to frown about. Thunder rumbling outside, pitter patter of rain against my window, all cozy enough to make my eyes flutter shut. A nap sounded like a fine idea to start the weekend....

Then I got a notification—the Clementine Book Two trailer dropped. I bolted up from my chair, eyes narrowed down at my phone, and muttered to myself: "Aw shit, here we go again."

Yep. I'm here to dissect a trailer for a book no one wants and share my opinions and theories about it. You can watch the trailer for it here.

Honestly y'all, I think it looks good. I wouldn't say it's great or anything. I'm not THAT hopeful for Book Two. But it's a better trailer than Book One's, that's for sure. The artwork and animations look better and the music slaps.

After having watched it a few times now, I'm starting to question something about myself because I'm not nearly as offended by the existence of these books like I used to be. I still think the games are superior and the comics are indeed flawed, like I stand by all my criticisms, but seeing fans still throw temper tantrums like grumpy toddlers is just... silly? and irritating? At this point, just calm down. If this comic is really that bothersome for you, maybe you should just not look at it? Y'know, for your own well-being?

With that said, onto the screenshots and analysis:

Immediately I gotta point out the improvements in the art. I quite like these shots, there's a definite improvement over Book One.

We see a neat looking walker with either Olivia or a new character lurking behind it, Clementine's crying, and then some silhouettes of who I'm assuming are this new group, or they could be a pack of walkers.

So, I find these shots fascinating. We get a look at a bunch of new characters, and it looks like this new island group is a good mix of ages. We have a kid with an amputated arm, a character in wheelchair- though I believe that first shot kind of looks like Clementine based on the hair and the fact that Ricca and Olivia are there, and that second group screenshot shows a different person using one so maybe they have multiple chairs or something.

I feel like Book One missed an opportunity with the first community Clementine visited, the one where she met Amos and got her new leg. There are other characters there with prosthetics and you'd think Clementine might be interested in speaking to them, y'know? Not many people know what it's like to lose a limb, especially the way she did, and it might be nice for her to related to someone who has gone through a similar experience.

So if Clementine and friends are staying her for a long period of time, I would like to see her talk with that kid missing an arm, or the person using the wheelchair. There's a lot of potential in that.

Also, I do feel like I should bring this up because a criticism I keep hearing about this is the same bullshit I always hear: "A new group with children? The games already did this! Tillie's just copying TFS!"

How many times do I have to read this before I'm allowed to just start grunting disdainly at people?

Like I dunno if y'all have forgotten, but every single season of TWDG had Clementine meet a new group of people, and all of them had at least one kid around her age. TFS didn't invent the concept of a group of kids surviving in the apocalypse, and TWD has several instances of main characters meeting new groups.

Pretty much everything in TWD has been done. If you're gonna be pissy about this comic rehashing previous tropes and ideas, then I better hear you also being pissy about everything post the original TWD comics, and that includes every season of TWDG.

And yes, I get it. It's annoying that Clementine left Ericson and now she's finding a new group. Nothing new is being said here, we've all said it a million times, we know already.

And then there's this:

"but Clem already had a mentor! What about Lee??"

I don't know if you've heard, but Lee's super dead and no longer available for any mentor position.

Luke, Kenny, and Jane were also mentor characters for Clementine in S2. ANF she had Javi. Then in S4 she became the mentor character with AJ. This is a nothing criticism. Hell, you can't even call it that because what it really boils down to is bitching over nothing.

That's what I'm so over. Every time I see someone complain that the comics are just copying the games or whatever, I get irritated because that's not a real criticism. It's people looking to validate their dislike of the comics by making it sound way worse than it really is. You don't have to like the comics, and you can take issue with their existence. There are plenty of things to criticize about Book One that have nothing to do with the damn games, and while I can hope Book Two is an improvement, I am skeptical.

But I'm bored of your "#notmyclementine," it's says nothing new.

ANYWAY... my ranting aside, this must be Miss Morro. I'm curious about her and what her deal is. She's supposedly an "enigmatic doctor" and I'm interested to see if she turns out to be the secret baddie of this book or a red herring.

Ah yes, I'm sure everything on this island isn't going to be super normal, all happy sunshine and rainbows... until it's not. Because that's just how TWD operates.

It looks like they have a nice set up. They have boats for what I assume is fishing, a lot of land, buildings, and are those balloons I see? floating up from a car?? That tells me there's some sort of celebration that's gonna happen.

And it looks like Clementine has her new hat. Not as iconic as her old hat, but I'm sure the sunhat will make a name for itself.

Ah okay. The other thing people were pissy about.

We're still pushing this love story between Clementine and Ricca, just as we did in Book One's trailer.... only for the "romance" in Book One to be lackluster, or rather, nonexistent. As I said in my review, Clementine had more chemistry with Amos than she did with Ricca and that's not great when Ricca's supposed to be the main love interest.

But if we're still doing this, and we clearly are because their hands are touching and we all know that's THE #1 sign of true love, then y'know what? I'm rooting for it.

Don't look at me like that. I'm not letting go of clouis for clemricca, y'all should know better than that. I'm not so weak willed as to think that entertaining the idea of Clementine and Ricca being together in these comics will somehow hurt my love of clouis. The games and comics exist as separate things, it's fine.

I want to see where Tillie takes this. I want to see if Ricca's allowed to be a fleshed out character and not just a place holder love interest. Now that Amos is gone [or is he?] then we should have some free time to devote to them, no?

Also, to answer your question: No, it's never safe to fall in love, this is TWD, don't be silly.

Hmmmm, a dark secret, you say?

I know you're trying to make me think Miss Morro has the dark secret... but I'm suspicious that it's a trick.

Y'all wanna take bets on what the secret of Miss Morro/the island group is? Are they a cult? Cannibals? Doin' weird shit with the walkers? Is this island like the island in Lost and monster bullshit's about to happen?

What's gonna be the twist here, y'know? Tell me what you think, the more absurd the better.

I'm going with the plot twist that they're all genuinely nice people except there's a traitor amongst the group out for revenge... and that traitor is Arvo who got wind that Clementine named her prosthetic after Kenny, remembered how terrible the ending of S2 was, and wants revenge.

That's a lot of walkers.

Looks like a herd will pass through the area... wonder if they just happened by or if someone led them there, hmmm?

Lots of Clementine tears in this trailer, and given she and Ricca are both crying, some emotional shit's probably going down. Maybe they're talking about what happened in Book One, maybe Olivia's just died, maybe Clementine's going more in-depth about her past is ways that will give me a headache. Who knows.

"Clementine has a choice. Keep running and save herself. Or fight a lose it all."

Y'know... I know this won't happen, but a part of me wants a plot twist where Clementine abandons the group and saves herself. I mean, she already abandoned Ericson. She's clearly capable of abandoning AJ for selfish reasons. I would be impressed if Clementine and Ricca just left when shit hit the fan and saved themselves while the island group just burns.

But this IS a YA story, so Clementine's gonna be the hero and sacrifice everything to save everyone, and survive. There's a final book after this so I'm positive that Clementine and Ricca are safe.

Given this kid's crying and we get a close up of the walker's face, I'm predicting that the walker is someone they knew. Or they've never had to kill one before.

Is that.... is that my boy??

My dude?? My guy?? The best character from Book One??

Amos is here, except not really. I'm 99% sure Clementine's dying [again] and is having a dream sequence with Amos telling her she's not gonna die.

Listen, I'm gonna be real with you. I don't think Amos is dead. Unless you show me his corpse or him as a walker, I don't believe he died. Nope. Sorry, but no. You know how this works. Proof, or get outta here with this "Amos couldn't have survived the fall" nonsense. I know he was shoved off a cliff but c'mon. I have to hold out hope for SOMETHING, and that something is the shocking return of an alive Amos.

Also, very interesting that Clementine's seeing him at all. What, no Lee suddenly appearing to her? It's almost like she had a great dynamic and chemistry with Amos over the the rest of the group and his supposed "death" had a big impact on her.

This trailer does a lot better at creating intrigue over what's going to happen. And to clarify, while I'm hopeful that this comic will be an improvement over the first, I'm not expecting it to blow my mind or anything. I'm not expecting it to be great, but I wouldn't complain if it was, y'know?

I already have my copy pre-ordered. I'm prepared to read it ten times so that I can write a thorough "I read it so you don't have to" analysis and review.

And because this has to be said since the trailer's comments are disabled: don't be a dick, y'know? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the trailer and what we know of Book Two so far, but if you're just gonna spew nonsense about hating Tillie or try to convince me she's bad, just... piss off? I don't care, no one cares, come back when you have something of value to add to the conversation. Thanks.

[barkspawn]

what about farmer finding elliott's secret book of poems written for them (before they started dating) and he confesses? :)

HI I updated this a little oops

Ooooooooh. Tbh I wasn't actually expecting a response but I am all for this prompt. I'm better at writing the farmer being pre-established. I'll use my farmer Amelia for the time being. If you prefer a reader insert, lmk.

Be nice, I'm rusty :|

Alright look. This is barely edited bc I'm mid Depression Session. I loved writing it though and I'd love more. ♡

Amelia ran her fingers over the edge of the large wooden desk in the corner of Elliott's shack. She couldn't help but admire the detail of the books littering his desk. It was almost like they were plucked from the past, the leather covers worn and well-loved. A crumpled piece of paper sat at the upper edge of the desk, wedged between the wood and the wall. She picked it up and tossed it in the small bin next to the desk. There were only a few lines written before they were crumpled, their ink smeared in frustration.

Elliott was going to meet her here at any minute. He had to finish up at the library, urging her to head inside and wait for him in the relative warmth of the shack. Still, she drew her coat tighter around herself as she started walking curiously around his home. Books were strewn across the floor in various states of use. There were some open, lying face down as well as other, barely-touched books in neat (well, neat in comparison) piles. As tempted as she was to clean them up, she loved this about Elliott. It was clear that he was passionate about his work. Truthfully, she had realized she had feelings for him just a couple of weeks ago, but there was no way in hell she could tell him. Besides, Elliott was all but married to his novel. To even imagine putting herself in the way of that... well, she couldn't.

She continued her slow pace around the room, her eyes drawn to a small book on the edge of his bed. It was a dark red leather and was small enough to fit in his pocket. Perhaps ideas he had throughout the day?

She couldn't help but laugh to herself. There was a particular story regarding a small crab that had taken shelter in the writer's pocket. With the worn state the book was in, she couldn't help but imagine it in the same pocket.

Against her better judgment, she found herself picking up the book, and sitting on the very edge of his bed. She opened it, flipping through the first few pages. There were notes and seemingly random phrases like "like a storm: grey" and "deep blue as the sea - wavy?" Provided he wasn't angry with her for snooping, she'd have to ask him the secret to deciphering his ideas. She noticed the name of her farm, "Stardop Fields," on the adjacent page. Her brows knit together, confusion playing at her expression. Why would he need the name of her farm? Unless his memory is really that poor..

With a deep breath, she resolved to put it back down, haphazardly flipping quickly through the pages once more as she closed it. Her name caught her eye buried in the pages, about a third of the way in. She tried quickly to find the page she glimpsed, unsure if she should be afraid or excited to be a part of his writing.

There it was. In the center of one of the pages, he had written her name in a beautiful flowing script. She let go of a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, almost immediately holding her next as she turned the page, her name written again at the top. The passage was written beautifully and with care. All sense of urgency left her as she carefully read:

  A virtue

blood red lips

I burn like fire for your pulse,

connected, connected, to never drown

I offer you my kiss

I melt in your love

  She froze, completely shocked. Surely, it couldn't mean... No. With her hands trembling, she turned the page, her gaze landing once more on her name; though this one was accompanied by "Ode to.." she traced her fingers over the page as she read:

  I pray for your kiss,

connected together, I share with you

joined together, I share with you

I melt in your soul.

  This time, she gave no pause in her reading, turning the page immediately, her eyes falling once more to the beautiful script:

  A tear in the eye

I see the night in your grey eyes

as the pulse warms for always

transforms like time, silver

I starve for your love,

joined, bound, to never force

I share with you my soul

my kiss, my Ame--

  Her reading was cut off abruptly, the door flying open as Elliott came through the door, unbuttoning his coat as he hurriedly explained, "Amelia, I am so sorry that took so long. You see, I keep many journals and it seems that I've lost one of the most impor-"

He froze as his gaze finally fell in her direction, falling on the book for a moment before his eyes met hers. She watched as his cheeks grew pink, this time not of the cold outside. There was silence there between them as they stared at one another. Amelia couldn't find any words. She was a mixture of emotions, butterflies in her belly, and light burning in her widened eyes. Everything in her wanted to believe that this meant that he had feelings for her, that he had felt the same. She slowly stood and, unsure what to do or say, she closed the book and extended it out to him. His eyes moved down, focused on the journal. He took it from her, his fingers brushing against hers in the exchange. Even the small bit of contact increased the butterflies in her stomach ten-fold. She couldn't stop the light intake of breath at the sensation. 

"Oh, you... seem to have found it," he started as he gingerly touched the cover, clearly trying to bring humor in to drown out the quiet. Still, he continued, his voice quiet, "did you.." he cleared his throat, "did you read any of them..?"

Amelia's heart seemed to be beating out of her chest; she could feel the heartbeat in her chest. She didn't like how quiet he was, he always had comments on everything. She gave a small nod, wanting to tell him everything: that the poems were beautiful and how it made her even more certain about how she felt for him. She opened her mouth to attempt to say something, though when she tried, his hand went up in protest. He was obviously just as nervous as she was. Before she could talk, he had started, his voice careful, "Amelia, firstly, I'm sorry. This was not how I wanted you to find out," he took a deep breath, finally meeting her eyes, "were it not incredibly obvious based on my writings, I have... feelings for you. I tried to ignore them for a long time as I was absolutely certain you would have no such feeling for me. I have hope that I have not ruined our friendship as you are still standing here with me," in what seems like a split decision, he stepped forward, taking her hands in his. Relief overcame him as she did not pull away, his stance visually relaxing. In fact, her head was swimming in thoughts of how this had to all be a dream, though she felt his hands, still cool from the winter air, so clearly in her own. He smiled slightly as she ran her thumb over his knuckles, giving her hands a gentle squeeze, "it seems for once, I am at a loss for words."

Amelia inhaled, not willing to let go of her last bit of courage. When she spoke, her voice was soft, partially quieted by the lump that formed in her throat, "Elliott.. would you like to go out to dinner with me?" There was a small pause before, with a small smile, she added, "please?"

He scanned her features, her stormy grey eyes and her impossibly wavy hair- still tinged a light teal from the last time she colored it, her natural color prominent now in the growth. Her eyes were just a little wider than usual and she stayed focused on him, almost like he'd vanish if she dared to look away. It was after a long moment that he thought to speak, unable to hide the smile that formed, "why, I would love that. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if I could treat you to dinner tonight..? Perhaps a stroll along the beach to follow?"

This time, she laughed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "I would love that," she repeated, suddenly very aware of the burning pink of her cheeks. He would have been blind not to notice. He raised her hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles as his eyes never left hers.

"Then it's a date," he finished as she felt the heat rise up to her ears. She smiled, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she nodded, feeling giddy with excitement.

Suddenly, she pulled her hand from his and turned to her bag, unlatching the top and fishing out the plastic tube, a vibrant duck feather held inside to keep it from being crushed among her things.

"I almost forgot! I brought you a-" she was cut off as she turned, a moment lost as she tried to figure out what was happening. The tube fell from her hand as she realized that he was kissing her. There was an eruption of butterflies that seemingly filled her whole body. In truth, he couldn't help himself. The woman he felt so strongly for had said that she felt the same. They were going on a date tonight! Emotion and inspiration took over then, taking his chance the moment she turned. He had always acted swiftly on any ounce of inspiration, but this was new. This was raw emotion; pure happiness at the idea that such an incredible woman would choose him. He'd wanted to wait for the end of the date to be traditional, romantic even, but the feeling overwhelmed him and he needed to feel her touch.

His lips were soft, his action gentle, almost as if she were glass that could shatter at any given moment. She felt the pad of his thumb brush gently over her cheekbone before he let his whole hand to rest on her cheek, his other hand resting on her arm. As he pulled back, he straightened himself out. She hadn't realized he had to bend to kiss her, even if it wasn't much. He was nearly a whole foot taller than her. She would have to be embarrassed about that later. Perhaps when she regained her breath and any coherent thought.

A frown pulled at the corner of his lips at her silence, eyes carefully scanning her face as he kept his voice barely above a whisper, "Yoba, I'm sorry... I don't know what came ov-"

She cut him off then, pulling him down to her suddenly by the collar. Her lips met his once more, a little less gentle and graceful than she intended. He was quick to return her kiss, his other hand moving to her waist in an attempt to pull her closer. Her right hand had come to rest just under his jacket where she had pulled him close while her left hand made its way through his hair in an effort to show him how she wanted this and did not want this to stop. Running her fingers through his hair was something she had wanted to do since the first time they'd met. With that thought, she smiled against his lips before remembering her gift. Ultimately, it was the reason for her visit today. Reluctantly, she pulled back to meet his eyes. Her voice was quiet, almost breathless with a playful undertone.

"I brought you a duck feather, by the way," she tilted her head slightly to indicate the plastic tube she had dropped.

A light chuckle escaped his lips then, his breath warm as he never moved his eyes away from hers, "that's a beautiful gift, thank you."

Ao3 for the one shots: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43638475

yes, yes i am getting ahead of myself 

[rottenbrainstuff]

So while I was in Switzerland, I had the really neat opportunity to visit my daughter’s college and sit in on two big project presentations.

I was… really, really disturbed by the amount of AI the students use. Like. Ok for the one class that everyone hated and no one gave a shit about, I totally understand the students turning to AI to help fill in info for a boring presentation that most of them apparently only started the night before. Sure. It’s shitty but I get it, honestly probably I would have snuck a few assignments in this way myself in a few different classes.

But then, even in the fun class project that everyone was excited about, there was still SO MUCH AI usage. And not even secret “I hope the teacher doesn’t notice this is all from chat gpt”, like, proud AI usage, like, yes, my final project is just a whole bunch of images that I got from AI, then collected together as if this represents actual work that I did. Shocking. Especially with me coming from an art college and imagining what my teachers would have said if I had ever DARED to hand in a stack of AI images and called it my project.

The teachers seem to not really know what to do about AI. Just last year they were teaching the students about the possibilities of this interesting new technology, and now just one year later, the teachers are dealing with a pile of worthless assignments written by chatgpt. The students are using it whether the teachers like it or not, and there’s not much you can do to stop them from doing it, and even if you wanted to stop them, in many cases it’s hard or even impossible to tell if it’s been used or not. But I had a really interesting conversation with one of my daughter’s teachers about it.

If AI can write papers and presentations for students, maybe instead of figuring out how to crack down on AI usage, the schools really need to radically shift what they are grading and why. If AI can spit out whatever you want, then what is it that the human brings to the equation?

So for instance: in this particular class, the students had an extremely broad assignment to make a project analyzing and transforming European mythology into a contemporary setting, somehow. Some of the students came up with some really interesting projects ranging from children’s books, a video game, a hypothetical interactive map of European dragon locations, etc. One student really did just literally output a big stack of dragon pictures generated by AI, bound them into a book, and called that their project. On the other hand, my daughter made a journal of an explorer who had got lost. Now she did use AI to generate the first draft for some of her journal entries (which made me grumble - I think even I, who does not write, would have enjoyed writing the entries from scratch?) but the idea of the journal was hers, the narrative it told was her idea, and she aged the pages and illustrated them with diagrams and bound the book in leather by hand and presented her project with an entire display of hypothetical found objects and an explanation of the narrative of the hero’s journey, and how her journal fit into that.

So like. AI might be able to write papers and make pictures, but AI can’t supply the thought process behind it, or the gathering of the physical objects and the tactile experience of the book. The specifically human work is what’s valuable, and schools have a challenge now to reevaluate the kinds of assignments given and they way they are accessed.

Or something. Made me think a lot.

[chickensoupleg]

Mm. Girls.

--

At first it was just a light curiosity.

Heather had been lounging on the couch and scrolling through channels when Chrissy came home, a bag of yarn in her arms.

“Where’d you get that from?” Heather asked her with an amused smile at Chrissy’s clear excitement. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek as Chrissy flops beside her, barely bouncing the couch.

“I passed by a yard sale and there was this bin full of just- Yarn? And the lady said it used to be her late grandmother’s collection. She passed away, the poor woman, but nobody else in the family really knows how to crochet, which is what this is for,” Chrissy pulls out a maroon pouch, which she unzips to show Heather the neat row of hooks and needles, “And so they were just gonna sell it. And, well, I don’t know either but then I saw they were also selling some hats and scarves and this whole sweater that this grandma had made and then I thought about how cute it would be to make you one-” Chrissy continued to ramble on and on, Heather listening to her with a small smile on her lips. She would support her little craving, and even if Chrissy just couldn’t figure it out, Heather wouldn’t stop her from trying anyways.

Since then, Chrissy had been learning the craft of crochet. She had borrowed a book from the library and spent a good afternoon just learning the absolutely basics such as chaining the yarn and getting a few single crochet stitches into it.

Oh, the absolute light that radiated from her face when she showed Heather that first single strip was enough to melt her heart.

“It’s looking great, firefly.” Heather told her, Chrissy beaming even more and getting back into it.

It didn’t take long before Chrissy pumped out her first project, a simple red scarf. There was nothing particularly special about it, but by the way Chrissy had presented it to her on that October evening it was as if she was gifting Heather her heart.

In a way she was. Heather had accepted it, and refused to take it off the whole day, even though she never actually left the house. She even wore it in the bed, Chrissy cackling like mad when she threw the scarf’s end over her shoulder in bed, smacking her in the face.

It didn’t take long before Chrissy spent all of her free time just creating new items for her and her friends. She made scarves for everyone they knew, and even a few hats. She learnt new stitches, and by the time December hit, everyone had a matching set of hats, scarves, mittens, and even a single wool sweater crop top thing.

Chrissy made that last one as a jest, but Steve seemed fine with having zero stomach protection. Heather thinks he’s weird for that.

Heather was more impressed she managed to figure out how to make a sweater – partway as it was – in such a short amount of time.

“I have all the time in the world to try,” Chrissy told her as she carefully stacked her new supply of yarn in the box that she designated the yarn box. That was another thing with her new hobby, the new skeins of yarn that Chrissy would come home with. Yarn was pretty expensive, and yet Chrissy always managed to find them for much cheaper at thrift shops or yard sales.

Once she even came home with sweaters just to unravel them for their yarn. Heather helped of course, not wanting Chrissy to just be suffering on her own.

Heather did end up with a nice blanket as thanks for helping, so it wasn’t all that bad.

In February, their neighbour Robin had come with an idea for Chrissy. Maybe that was their downfall.

“You’re pretty good at this. Maybe you should start a shop?” She said. They were just hanging out, Robin wearing the neon red bucket hat Chrissy had made for her. The rim of it was decorated with small stars that Robin had clipped on herself, her fingers messing with one of them.

“Oh, but I’m not sure. I mean, there’s so many people who could do it better!”

“So? You’re great too, Cunningham! Besides, it would be nice side income.”

Heather snorted. “What, like what Harrington does?”

“Everyone likes his chocolate.”

“Steve stress bakes, Buckley. You just made him sell his stress for cold hard cash.”

“Hey, not my fault his kids stress him out to the point of chocolate-induced income. Steve’s agreed to it, it’s fine! Otherwise I will get diabetes, Heather. Diabetes! Do you want be to have totally avoidable diabetes?”

Heather snorted again, louder. Robin smacks her in the arm for that, and the only reason she doesn’t smack her back is because Chrissy did it for her.

“Hey, no hitting my girlfriend.”

“Wh- Oh but you can?!”

“Girlfriend protection rights.” Chrissy chirped, chest puffed out.

Heather was a bit proud of her for that one.

Robin rolled her eyes, continuing on. “Well, think about it. I can get you set up. Maybe Steve can sell some next to all his chocolate, as a test run?”

Chrissy had thought about it for a good 24 hours before she relented. She gave Robin a few extra hats she had made purely out of boredom, plus a few kid sized mittens that she churned out. It was just a test run, and if it failed it failed, no harm done.

Except it didn’t.

Robin had come back from the market with a pile of cash, slapping it eagerly in Chrissy’s surprised hand.

“I told you! People totally loved your stuff!” Robin burst out. “Sold every single one of them, so here’s your earnings! Promise, I didn’t try to steal any of it, this is all yours.” She patted Chrissy’s hand a few more times before running off like a headless chicken back to her house.

Heather had congratulated her for it, even though Chrissy was never physically there for the sales.

It still sparked a fire in Chrissy, as the next thing Heather knows, Chrissy is holding a box out full of items and dragging her to Steve’s car to head to the market.

It became a sort of passion project at that point, Chrissy always making whatever she could imagine. Extended past just clothing to household items, and even plushies when Chrissy got her little mitts on a book about crocheting toys.

Oh, the amount of toys Heather had come across in the house when Chrissy found out, it was insane.

Still, Chrissy was happy, and Heather was by her side, rubbing and massaging her hands.

“Oh, you’re an angel, Heather.” Chrissy breathes out a sigh of relief.

“I’m just massaging your hands. You gotta take breaks, you know. Buck won’t mind if you skip a week or two.”

“I know, but it’s just- I love crocheting, making things for people. I feel bad if I have nothing to at least look at.”

“I know, babe. But don’t break your hands doing it.”

“I won’t.”

“You better not, or else I’ll eat them so you can’t use them no more.”

“Noooo…” Chrissy devolves into giggles as Heather kisses her hands with a frantic love.

Chrissy loved her hobby, but she loved her girlfriend more.

[rayless-reblogs]

How about 8. and/or 27. from the author ask game?

Got it!

8: How do you feel about epilogues?

It's not something I've given a lot of thought, but on reflection, I really like them. One of my chief hang-ups with media, especially books and video games, is when there's too long of a stretch between the climax and the end of the story. Sometimes there's this long dead zone, where all the energy evaporates because the author's telling us how things are being resolved, but the tension is gone and we're just getting too much information. Or, the author spins things out too long by throwing in some little last-minute conflicts that can feel distracting and irritating. In general, I want the climax-to-finale interval to be as short as possible -- but then you run the risk of leaving the story feeling unfinished.

So an epilogue can be a big help. You've had your final confrontation. The Dark Lord is dead (or maybe your spouse now, who knows?) With an epilogue, you can end the climax on an emotional high note, and then fast forward to some time in the future. There, you can show how the characters' and the world's circumstances have changed without explaining every step. You don't have to endure a period of explanation and minor problem-solving. It allows the payoff of the actual ending to arrive much quicker.

So I think they can be very useful, and, looking back, I've noticed I often use them myself, both in original and fanfic. But they aren't always called for. With both Papom and Eola, that fast-forward after the climax to see what everyone's up to felt right. The next book, on the other hand, didn't need one. It's definitely a case by case thing.

27: Do you try to do most of your research ahead of writing (when research is necessary) or do you do it as things come up?

Up until recently, I hadn't set time aside to specifically research ahead of a project. Either I was writing fic, and "research" involved happily absorbing things through the fandom. (Though in some cases, I should've researched more real-world stuff too.) Or I was writing fantasy, and I felt I had enough of a grasp on my world-building not to have to research things.

(This is not to say people shouldn't research their fantasy world-building -- being grounded in reality enriches a fantasy setting -- but Papom and Eola didn't feel like they called for it.)

Papom is based on a number of fairy tales, so I did read up on the variants before writing, but I chose not to delve too far into academic interpretations. Given Eider's double amputation, I also researched that, but that came after I'd written the first draft -- that was useful in refining her character and realizing she'd actually be more self-sufficient than I'd initially thought.

Research is good, but I think it can sometimes bog down an author's progress. Sometimes, it's good to just launch into things and get your ideas down, and then worry more about getting details right on the next draft. So in some cases, I'd recommending researching as you go, or even afterwards.

But with my third book, the Next Book, it's a fantasy, but it's not a fantasy set in a cute little universe of my own making: It's set during real-world history, involving real cultures, in a very real point in time. I don't want to get too specific yet, but this is why I've been dropping little mentions about neat things I've learned regarding Greek culture in the Roman Empire. Something I am not an expert on.

Fake fantasy setting? Yeah, I'm totally an expert on that, let's dive in and make stuff up as we go. Rome? Uh -- I've read some stuff, but not enough to world-build. I need to learn a lot before I have an idea what the setting for my characters even is.

The book's plot is also based somewhat on the writings of an ancient writer, so I had to read through all of their output. I think that started some time in 2021. Then it was time to research Rome itself. It's a huge subject, so I focused on a few areas that were most relevant to my story, and then I went after different books on those subjects. That was 2022 and into 2023. I took notes and outlined during that stage, but I didn't start properly writing until I was done with all of the reading.

But once I started writing, I kept running into little questions like -- "Did the Romans have any understanding of asthma?" "How did Romans store their books?" So in a smaller way, I kept researching all the way through.

That was maybe more answer than you bargained for, but thanks for the ask!

Meme here.

[cartoonkitten]

okay so, i’ve had a dumb au idea for awhile

anti-hero/Hath apprentice Tora au. this au kinda has two different versions I thought of, im now kinda trying to merge them together. but essentially, I had an idea where basically Tora is a bit more naive and irrational, plus feeling so resentful after struggling time and time again to prove herself fully capable amongst her folks, shes grown a bit cold. Thus after meeting Hath and following her around because she thinks she’s cool (unknowingly being manipulated by her in the process, considering Hath really just wants to steal her magic), she starts learning a few things from her, including shitty behavior, because now shes much more aggravating and hateful back home, not getting along well with anyone like she used to.

Brunhilda notices this and tries to reason with her and have her open up on what’s wrong, to which Tora begins to spiral out, and in the midst of panic and frustration is the one that actually turns her into a tree (differing from canon, but reflecting Hath’s past actions of killing the first Hath/her mentor).

after this point is where it starts to split into two diff versions: either she deflects from Hath after she subtly revealed her more suspicious and desperate intentions, Tora steals her book and runs away, basically erasing herself from history— ORRRR she just decides to go ape shit and stick with Hath and be her weird little sidekick/apprentice. so yeah. just Tora in bite mode essentially

in the first version with the better ending that goes along with canon more, Tora essentially has been living a sheltered, down-low life, regarded as a traitor to her family. until the future spawn travel to their time. they quickly recognize her, assuming she’s still apart of their ancient pack, and ask her to take them to Svenburg. at first, she’s reluctant to take them there, but carefully does so anyways. keeping her distance doesn’t help, because she’s immediately cornered by her former pack mates, and they’re all thrown into the prison pit thing (which, in this scenario it at least makes a little more sense as to why Gretchen immediately assumes the worst of her cousin for some reason). Tora vents about what she did to them, and when Freddy reveals he’s HER future spawn, she’s surprised at the concept of them even existing as that. yet, she starts to question her future, and with the motivation from Freddy, gets the determination to make things right for her pack. and thus the rest of that episode plays out. she fights against Hath, and gradually regains everyone’s trust

but yeah, goofy aus, I thought Hath apprentice!Tora seemed neat, so I drew this awhile ago to go along with the idea

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #1: A Man Called Otto

a man called otto. i am so deeply conflicted about this movie. i watched it back in january and i’m still not sure what i think, because i both think that it was a good movie and that i never want to see it again. 

this is gonna be spoiler filled, just fyi. i cannot explain my feelings on this one without laying out why the plot was the problem for me--and if you only saw a trailer, you may be as unaware of the plot as i was going in. (i know it’s also a book, but i’ve never read it.) 

basically, the trailer shows us grumpy otto, who misses his wife and hates people, and some new neighbors who move in and change everything. there is also a cat lurking around him. that part was especially noted by me, a person who has unofficially adopted a half-dozen neighborhood cats in the last few years. the trailer portrays his story as a hopeful one, the kind of curmudgeon-forced-into-happiness movie i would expect from tom hanks.

and some parts of what i assumed from the trailer turned out to be true. they’re not lying, exactly, in what they choose to show. but the trailer (at least the one i saw) is really selective in what it shows--so carefully leaving out other things that for me, just because the scenes in the trailer are IN the movie, doesn’t mean the movie i saw was the one they advertised.

i mean, this is a tom hanks movie, so it has an uplifting message. otto becomes less grumpy, he lets people back in his life, he starts to live despite his wife being dead. those parts are accurate. but they leave out a lot, for good and for bad.

tw for nonspecific mentions of suicide attempts and death.

grumpy otto, we learn as the movie opens, doesn’t just miss his wife. he is determined to join her. he starts the movie by failing at suicide. then he meets his new neighbors, and the movie turns into what feels like it’s supposed to be a dark sort of comedy, where he keeps trying to kill himself in different ways, and is constantly interrupted/postponed by his new neighbors, who have no idea he’s suicidal and are just accidentally always annoying him. until he slowly, eventually opens up. 

that part of the plot is pretty predictable, but juxtaposed with the constant ‘tom hanks trying to die’ that i was NOT prepared for, i was really freaked out. it made it impossible for me to totally enjoy the parts that were meant to be heartwarming. 

the movie didn’t win me over until otto’s first real emotional breakthrough of treating someone decently comes with a young man who had known and loved otto’s late wife when she was his teacher. he’s trans, and comes to otto when his family kicks him out, and the movie’s touching moments didn’t make me cry until that character showed up. he is the real start of otto building a new found family, and i loved that. 

there’s also a storyline that’s rewarding in the end, about a man otto was friends with before his life fell apart--that actor did a great job with the small space he was given, genuinely stole my heart. and the mom who is the driving force in the family that won’t let otto get away, otto’s relationship with her is great too, especially as it develops later. him teaching her to drive and giving her the most loving angry lecture i’ve ever heard made me genuinely wish somebody like that had scolded me into driving when i needed it, too. 

throughout the movie, we learn about otto’s life before we met him, in flashbacks where young otto is played by tom hank’s actual son. that part was cool. it allows us to know his wife, and what they went through together, and tbh does a decent job of filling out the picture when that can often fall flat as a method. and rita wilson sings the song that’s a major theme in the movie, which is neat.

but then, at the end of the movie, once we know all about otto and he’s happy and loved...HE FREAKING DIES. i do not need to see tom hanks die! who ever needs to see tom hanks die?? instead of being an uplifting movie about a man rebuilding his life, it’s a bittersweet movie about a man who brings his life to a close and passes on what he has to his new loved ones. 

and i can understand how maybe that is an uplifting movie for other people, somehow. i wondered as i came home that day if maybe it was a movie meant for those otto’s age, if maybe being in a place where you think more about death would make the movie more relatable than it was for me--there were certainly a number of jokes my packed theater of primarily older folks laughed at that just left me going ‘huh?’ (about car brands, or The Youngsters And Their Technology). maybe i was just oversensitive watching it.

but it also left me wondering how tom hanks and rita wilson are doing since they had covid--what they went through individually and as a couple, as parents of grown children, as older people...if that experience had them thinking about when one of them goes first, or about the end of their lives in general. about their future. 

so i’m really left with mixed feelings on this one, because it was not bad at all, for what it was. but i wish i had been warned going in that it was essentially one long movie about death--the mourning of it, the wishing for it, the attempting it, the dealing with it. it was so comedic and so not funny at all, all at once, and it just ended so sadly. again, i know it was meant to be uplifting in its way and thus more bittersweet than depressing, but i cried so hard when he died, i just didn’t enjoy that. 

also, when it comes to things i did not enjoy, there’s a jumpscare gunshot i really could’ve done without, and a supposedly-funny scene that felt like cat abuse and another where the cat looks dead but is ‘just’ frozen and later revived. plus the fact that otto dies and his cat is just...silently right there with him, until he’s found the next day, breaks my whole fucking heart. 

anyway, yeah. i don’t know if i recommend this one. ymmv. maybe everybody else loved it! maybe if you haven’t seen it yet and watch it, you’ll love it. (at least if you read this, you’ll be more prepared than i was. and there are good parts.) but it left me feeling sad and weird and like yeah okay death is inevitable but i didn’t need a movie about it quite like this. so i don’t think i’ll ever watch it again.