#the first reason being that I dont even know if everyone HAS discord lmao

[backslashdelta]

.

[chasseuses]

reasons why i love jade leech part 3

I don't know why I'm doing this again I am a big fool goodbye ☠️ but ahhahahwhahjwhsjfhfjfnfkbdsjbdkdbjd im a doormat for him so. haha. I'll just. fukcignvkjgknv everyone pls look away this is the last post i swear 🤩

Part 1, 2

So.... 🤡 Hi I'm back again with another simp post I'm your local Jade simp and I'm here to point out reasons why I'm an absolute doormat for this eel and why I'm staying as one.

I'M FUCKIFNCGD. SCRVEN AMWIANAJWBAJVWKQVWKAGAKAVDKFBYKDGSKEIANSJAMEINSLENDKEBEKSBEKSHEKDJEKSJRKDJRKDHSKDHKEHSKEBSKEJDLDHDKDBDKHRKDBEKSHEKSUSMS

Ok so, URGFKFHDKDUDKSJSKFHDKGDKDHD if you've been here long enough or something i think i posted something about his initial birthday suit up illustration here which i wrote while i was sobbing and being overly emotional over him.

BUT BASICALLY. IT WAS ABOUT HIS SMILE. I MEAN RTHGJKHJGK JADE LEECH..... SMILING.............N N .VJV.JV. WITHOUT ANY ULTERIOR MOTIVES...... IM FUCKFING DEAD YO!!!!!

HEAR ME OUT. I JUST GJVKJGKVNGKV ... dont u think there's just something about someone as shady as jade who looks shady 90% of the time look like he's not shady for the first time ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

idk if that made sense but yeah.

ALSO IDK IF ANYONE WAS SIMPING HARD ENOUGH TO NOTICE BUT LIKE 😭 IF U COMPARE HIS HANDS TO FLOYD'S THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

and now if you've known me long enough to know that i am a big fan of his hands, you'll know that i went absolutely crazy over this detail!!!!!! THEY WERE ROUGHER THAN FLOYD'S AND THAT WAS JUSTHGJJGKGKFNKFKGNGKGNFKDDJFKGNGKFJF A DIRECT HIT TO THE GUT WHAT THE FUCK DISPLEX YOU CANT DO THIS TO US 😭😭😭😭😭

do u see the fork he's holding?

yeah

i wanna be that fork so bad

im not even kidding

i legit want to be that fork.

why?

.

haha.

you dont need to know

ANYWAYS. ONTO THE STORY 🥰

we got a lot of lore for the twins this time around and i am tHRIVING :BIBBEK:

"However, and this is unusual for me, but so many people wishing me ‘Happy birthday’ has made me rather embarrassed." HELP?????????&(&!4(£;#(-__8-##(-_(£+£(£ I II I I I I HUCHJWNWISHEJDHWOHSKWGSKSYAKGSKA HI KAUAKSGKAGSKSGSJAYJAGSJAGAJSYSIGSJGSJSHSJAHsks

Their mother!!! Uses!!! -san!!!! At the end of their names!!!!!!! Which got me going 🧐 that is not usual at all!!!!! wtf is going on in the leech household

a lot of ppl theorized mafia stuff and all of that which honestly makes sense imo and also because i find that hella hot HAHSMDGSKDHKSJS mr leech...... 😳 mafia.... HELPGKFJKGJFKF

wait. won't that mean he's rich.

bonus points eyy /j GFJFHFJDHJFNF

"Well, they do say that married couples take after each other… It’s good that they get along well." MR LEECH YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE RFNJVJKHKGKGKOGJGKVJKFCKIJGKTJKFFJKDHDKXHFFHFJ

guys im losing it

if that wasn't already obvious RHUFHGUF

HELLO????????? ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE LIKES TERRARIUMS??1?"!"!'! HELPFKVKV CONTROL IT'S CONTROL

"Whether they live or die is also up to me…" i just think.

no i dont think but you get what i mean why the fuck is that line lowkey hot lmfao something is wrong with me

i dont knwo why the fuck but the fact that he likes unpredictability is also kinda????? lmao how boring was ur life that everything u did went exactly your way 😭 how does that bring u amusement i cant relate gomen mr leech

or am i completely wrong idk 🗿 mr leech tell me more about you onegai

Ok honestly, before the birthday card came out, I thought their earrings were like,,, from their parents or something. like heirlooms!! i thought they were precious in that aspect but what i rlly didn't expect is for them to fckinghgkgngknfkf FIGHT A DAMN STURGEON FOR ITS SCALES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

deadass why would a sturgeon challenge them anyways 🧐 and the twins were just like, "ok sure but can we have your scales if we win" and they rlly did 😭 just how strong were you guys before middle school wtf!!!!

and they turned the scales into earrings 🧐 which is now what they wear!! p cute

they're apparently popular to use as amulets in the coral sea so i. i fucking rotted over this AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA hrufhfigjofhckfbcjc should i delve deeper into this? no. but perhaps you can find out what my rot is about just by reading this single bullet

"Floyd and I have gone near beaches on nights with fireworks as well." HELEPEHLEPDFKLEGSLDOSODB EGHFKCNDKMCURLDHLDGSMX

WATCHIFNFG FIREOEKSKF WITHHF JADE AJFNJFVJFHKDHF

ohmigod this is getting way longer than intended 🤡 should i continue

yeah fucj it HFJVHFJHCJFHJCJ everybody pls ignore my rot 😌

as all of you know, jade wears purple eyeliner. that's right.

Purple eyeliner.

Why does this matter, you ask? Oh sweet summer child, it may not matter to you but to me—eyeliner is super fucking hot I kid you not I started crying at night when I thought about this and wrote a mini essay about it like a fool so I'm just going to.

I am legitimately losing my shit over this like-?? Who allowed you to fucking put on eyeliner? You're already deadly without them and more so with them.

It honestly makes me wonder if he puts this on his own or not but seeing how deft he is with his hands, it's not a stretch to assume that he puts it on his own.

And I find that really hot since look at those clean strokes..!! He's better at applying them than me. I have this desire to let him do my makeup but when I think about it I start making incomprehensible noises and bury my face into my pillow. Purple eyeliner just-? Looks so good on him?

It should be illegal at this rate he looks so tempting I hate it. Sometimes I just have this urge to ruin in, I don t care how I just want to smudge it for some reason. Like deadass, I just want you all to appreciate how good his eyes look!

HELP HIS EYESDHFHTKHEKFHDKFHDMFHKDHFKSGDK IM FUCKFINDG LSOING IT

WHY DO I LOVE HIS EYES SO MUCH I DONT FUCKING KNOW I'VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF CHARACTERS WITH MISMATCHED EYES BUT WITH HIM IM JUSTHGJJFJG KG NVM

His eyes are fucking beautiful, man. 🤡💞 Could stare at them for hours and never get tired!!!!

Need I say more?

BRO IM FUVKGIGNVJKGVKNGKFHFKFFJF HIS TEETH IM CRYIGGN WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK I KNEW THEY WERE SHARP BUTJGKVJGKGJFKGJCKFJKCFJKFFHKCJFKGJDOFHKDHFKDHDKDHDJ BARKBARKBARKBARK

I mean what 🗿

guys displex is insane because they literally made jade have two ssrs in a row with banners that were available at the same time do you know how painful that was for me

when jamil bday card dropped all i lost ebg because i panicked over the thought of a jade bday card and started saving!!! and i did!!!! i managed to save up 100 pulls and i was so fucking chill after that but then,

abema stream happened

i was asleep when that happened so when i woke up i had like 283628 pings in discord telling me that he has an ssr for the halloween event and i was just 🗿 yo say sike his bday is soon displex must be joking

haha nope! they were dead serious.

that shit was painful i started crying 🤡 what the fuck because i didn't have enough gems for both ssrs and his halloween card was just absolutely beautiful.

so i went insane and saved 200 copies of the same jade card in attempt to make him come home before pity so i dont have to whale

I mean,

Black nails.

The bandages.

The harness.

The hat is kinda ugly but that's ok.

THE BELTS AT HIS WAISTFJTKDJRKFBFKFHOFHDKDHDKSGDKSHSKXHSKJS

SO I WAS REALLY DESPERATE AHHSHDHFJFGHJFJF THANKFULLY THEY BOTH CAME HOME BEFORE PITY SO TYSM JADE I LOVE U FOR THAT AHAHJAHDJ

oh shit this got long so imma just end this here 🐬 if you read this far, congrats HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 6 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

so uh. wow. BIGASS spoilers incoming 

ok so first off. announcement. i’m gonna be clearing out all of the cuttlective quotes in my backlog the same way i did with perlencia so they don’t get too outdated real fast, so i’m gonna post them all in a big quote bomb. there’s 9 of them so i’m gonna do 5 tomorrow and 4 the day after. youre getting these today instead and also i really dont wanna post unmarked spoilers until tomorrow lmao

ALSO SO CHAOS GOD IS A THING. i’m uh. gonna add him to the tag list tomorrow, i’ll start filling out a selection of quotes for him going forward. if anyone has any quotes for him, go ahead and submit them!!!

anyways on with the ooc spoilers

Percy: c:

Yugo gets revived from the dead and immediately questions why they’re in a blockbuster

 just casually revive your homies in a Blockbuster nbd

Yugo doesn’t even know about mg’s edgy redesign 

Ezra: so we’re in an anime??? 

You just gotta beliEEEEEEEEVE 

MAGICAL GIRL GUN

Mg: i KILLED YOU?? Yugo: i got better

Reverse lotus eater

Juno really just made a wholeass anime here huh

King dedede relentlessly bullies hailey huang

I think its important to reiterate that king dedede from kirby is a relevant and important part of the plot of discord murder party

2go

Happy father’s day to everybody expect artorius 

Valencia #girlboss

Ploops working at denny’s is canon

WE GET BOTH MOM AND DAD BACK WHAT A BLESSED DAY

Christine burns junior’s bandanna and thank fuck because i always forgot to draw it

COUNTRY ROADS TAKE ME HOME

Rip tommy’s hair barely knew you

Tommy really just looked death in the face and said fuck off

Yugo: that’s some king shit right there

Even when he’s literally being crushed by a building, graeme garden still is a dick

Grace Girlboss Garden

“Oh shit the bar!”

VINCENT MARSHALL REID LET YOURSELF BE HAPPY OR FUCKING ELSE

The Cranes are built different babey~

DE-DE-DEMONS

MG: i’ll kill you all

Vinny: do it coward

“EAT SHIT YOU CASTLEVANIA FUCK” ITS ALWAYS THE FUCKING FRENCH BLAME IT ON THE GODDAMN FRENCH

“and then everyone clapped”

LOKI WORKING WEEK??????????

(for legal reasons this is a joke i know what alex said in the post show)

THIS TUMBLR SEXYMAN FUCK

The goddamn bit wheel was plot relevant 

Chaos God: MURDER GOD HAS FALLEN I AM THE NEW LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS

So guys ezra isnt my hyperfixation anymore

Me: i have very high standards for what characters become my favourites

Chaos god: *exists

Me:

THE BLOODPACT IS BROKEN AT LAST

[qwertyfingers]

Hi, I'm curious, could you elaborate on what things people in SPN fandom produce that you wouldn't have been able to filter out as a teen? I'm not really sure what you're referring to. Problematic porn? Bad takes? Wanky fan activity?

okay uh CSA, incest, and suicide trigger warnings for my answer here lol

first off i dont. really think you actually need me to explain this to you and the way this is worded really feels like either an attempt to minimise some truly atrocious shit or like, imply that i think highly of myself which is not true? i'm full of bad takes bro. i don’t care what people are posting as long as it’s not harmful. but there’s a few layers to the issues i was referring to yesterday

1) while it’s gotten a LOT better over the years, the defense of john’s parenting still happens fairly frequently, and as a kid who related extremely deeply to dean’s specific brand of Menhol Eelness that kind of defense of abuse would have really messed with my headspace! it’s messed up in and off itself to defend people who harm their kids - even unintentionally! - but the way that it specifically affects children who are still being abused is the worst of it. every kid with CPTSD who’s ever had to see someone defend behaviours they recognise from their own abusive family as done out of or as excusable because they had a good reason remembers that shit for the rest of their LIFE

there are echoes of what happened to me in dean, both in the abuse and trauma itself and the way it affects him in the aftermath. to see those things minimised by fans can be really re-traumatising for people. i’m very glad that my exposure to it comes at the end of several long stints in hospital and several years of intensive therapy. i don’t know that 18yo me who attempted suicide on a near weekly basis and hallucinated my abusive step father in my house all the time could have coped with takes like ‘its okay because john was drunk and alcoholism isn’t his fault’ or ‘john wasn’t abusiv he was just grieiving’ or ‘john didn’t abuse dean, everything he did was reasonable for their lifestyle’ without becoming deeply unwell. 

2) we also all already know how much deeply fucked up incest content gets made and shared in spn circles. like, okay,  have made peace with the existence of incest shipping. i blacklist that shit and i move on. most of it is avoidable and i can kind of forget about it if i’m being careful. but some of spn fandom is on another level. people write and draw some shit that is like, actively triggering on the ‘call my therapist and beg to be sectioned’ level. i had to renew my lorazepam prescription for the first time since lockdown started lmao.  one of the fandom darling artists literally posted graphic dean/jack porn on their blog next to their really popular castiel art like. i’m not kidding when i say that would have made me hurt myself when i was younger

3) there are a LOT of really weird interactions btwn minors and adults in this fandom and while thats noit something that the corner of tumblr/discord i move through has any real problems with, i still see shit go down in other circles / servers, and the things i saw on the  periphery when i was younger tell me it used to be wayyyyyyyyyyyy worse. adults actively encouraging like 13yos to read/write porn, children being pressured into incest content, 30yo+ people having intensely sexual interactions with minors like. 

as someone who is generally of the belief that ‘minors n adults shouldnt interact online’ is the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard, supernatural fandom does sometimes make me think im wrong and wish i could set everyone under the age of 18 in a safe enclosure away from some of the insane people that go here like. 

in general i think that teens having adult friends in fandom is good becuase it allows an avenue for discussing legitimate issues you have and they can be really helpful to help rpotect young people! I literally owe my adult fandom friends from my own childhood for giving me the lagnuage to talk about the abuse i faced and they were the first people who ever made me feel like i had a way out of my situation. without older online friends i might never have found out that the reason i had no interest in sex was because of trauma, or figured out that the reason reading fic about women or trans men upset me so much was because i was projecting my trauma onto them, and with cis mens bodies i didnt have that issue. i owe all of those things to adults who in the modern day might be chastised for being friends with me because i was young, but i needed them! 

all this is to say that i think the breadth of inappropriate adult/minor interactions over the years have led to an environment where a generation of 20-somethings are now terrified of interacting with teenagers (for fear of becoming the adults who traumatised them), and a generation of teenagers who are largely terrified of talking to adults (for fear of being traumatised) and miss out on guiding hands that some of them really need. if the adults in your physical life harm you, and you cannot turn  to adults on the internet, what do you do? 

4) i’m so tired of people writing underage porn, bro. there are enough adults in this show, grow the fuck up

[robinisaghost]

animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)

mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling

anyway

this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry

can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao

mild dsmp spoilers obviously

this is the playlist, by the way

-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)

i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah

-this is home (cavetown)

mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.

-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)

ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back

-pyjama pants (cavetown)

ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them

-boys will be bugs (cavetown)

OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY

I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)

-brother (kodaline)

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT

anyway

i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.

-feel better (penelope scott)

fundy. that is all.

no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.

-as the world caves in (matt maltese)

ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.

-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)

obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h

-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)

SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG

but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh

-need you here (idkhow)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO

like b r u h that works so well with them

also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')

also also

the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song

-green (cavetown)

another cavetown song huh. ok sure.

mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.

anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"

FUCKKKK

the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-achilles come down (gang of youths)

OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER

so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)

ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR

i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write

[spin-birdie]

hurgh....ace attorney but its pokemon

i boot up my switch. i check the news. i see the trailer for the crown tundra. i immediately get pokemon brainrot

anyway heres some half-baked ideas for an au with some help from ppl in the narumitsu discord gdsngksns (it got long so it’s under the cut)

gym leaders. everyone’s a gym leader. also i’m stealing the concept of the gym challenge from swsh because that SLAPS

whatever region theyre in thats based on japanifornia it’s pretty lax with their gym leaders. the gyms have to be branded based on what type they specialise in but the gym leaders can use basically whatever they want. as a result a lot of them lean more heavily on specific gimmicks during battle (remember how half of raihans team isnt even dragon type because they have weather abilities? yeah that but everyone could get away with it if they wanted to)

phoenix, larry, and miles did their gym challenge at the same time, that’s how they met and became friends. larry bailed out after the 7th gym, phoenix lost to miles in the semifinals and miles lost the final match of the finals, before he could get a chance to face the champion

miles moved to another region a few months after the gym challenge, and when phoenix turned 18 he moved to the other side of the region for college, so they lost touch for a few years. they meet again when they all become gym leaders in the same year. they’ve all changed a lot but they recognise each other almost instantly.

the first gym challenge after they become gym leaders is also when maya, klavier and apollo sign up for the gym challenge. (maybe trucy, athena and pearl as well but wouldnt they be super young i dunno)

oh yeah gym leaders.......hang on here they are in order

gumshoe - runs a normal type gym, but his team actually consists almost entirely of dogs. his partner is a bibarel.

phoenix - runs a fire type gym. i didn’t put any thought into this. the only reason he’s a fire gym leader in this au is because someone in the narumitsu server mentioned him having a fletchling as his partner and i liked the idea too much. his partner is a talonflame.

larry - runs a psychic type gym. this comes as a shock to basically everyone because “psychic-type specialist” brings about a certain mental image and he aint it, chief. he just thinks psychic types are neat. also he has an alakazam who hates him. his partner is an espeon.

mia - runs a ghost type gym, but she doesn’t lean into it that much. i don’t know what her gimmick is. her partner is a froslass or a chandelure (i never decided. i could see diego being a fire type specialist and giving her a litwick as a gift)

iris & dahlia - run a fairy type gym together. they inherited it from someone, probably. their gym’s main gimmick is double battles, which doesn’t work out great for them. they’re incredibly competent trainers on their own, but in double battles they’re rarely on the same wavelength. iris’ partner is a mimikyu. dahlia’s partner is a galarian weezing (or maybe a salazzle)

kristoph - runs a poison type gym. i thought it was funny. i never bothered to figure out what his partner is because i haven’t played aa4 in a LONG time.

blackquill - runs a flying type gym. his team is all birds, and they’re all best friends with him. there’s a reason NPCs can’t use stuff like affection (that thing where your pokemon spontaneously cure themselves of status conditions and tough out fainting blows bc they love you so much) but blackquill’s team can and they’re so op, pls nerf. i didn’t decide what his partner is.

miles - runs a dragon type gym. the von karmas are essentially dragon tamers, so once he started training under them he became skilled with dragon types as well. his partner is a bisharp that he doesn’t use in battle (at first, anyway...)

there’s no elite four. i like sword and shield, sue me.

manfred von karma is the champion of the region. he’s corrupt as fuck. idk i only thought out like 20% of this au

some miscellaneous shit:

mia wants to retire after the gym challenge and pass her gym on to maya.

kristoph is also corrupt as fuck. probably doing some chairman rose bullshit behind the scenes. klavier inherits his gym because kristoph got arrested lmao

phoenix has a salazzle on his team. he got it from dahlia

i havent decided what partner pokemon the challengers have, but i like the idea of klavier having a toxtricity. after he takes over kristoph’s gym, he makes it music-themed and all his pokemon use sound-based attacks like echoed voice and perish song

franziska is probably the champion of whatever region is based on germany. her partner is an altaria

idk if or where diego appears in this au but if he does he’s got beef with phoenix because they both use fire types and he’s disproportionately mad about it gkldsngkl im not funny

gregory edgeworth specialised in steel types (which is why miles has a bisharp). he’s probably still dead but i don’t know how he dies

maybe the first thing phoenix realises after meeting miles again is “hey i thought you didn’t like dragon types what’s up with that” but idk

something phoenix DEFINITELY realised is that he’s got a type disadvantage on miles now. on their gym challenge he had the upper hand when it came to fletchling vs. pawniard because fire > steel, but dragon resists fire so every time they fight miles wipes the floor with him dskfjsdkfjk

if trucy or any of the gramaryes are in this au maybe they’re psychic type specialists? :eyes:

if athena’s here she has a pikachu. i just think it would be funny. (but seriously i like the idea of her being an electric specialist. i have not seen jack shit about aa5 or 6)

oh speaking of shit i dont know about 5 or 6: aura might be here? if she is she’s a steel type user. her partner is a skarmory which is the sister of simon’s skarmory. it slaps

thats your lot. if you have any other ideas lemme know bc i think this is a neat concept but im way too lazy to do anything with it

[thisisthehardestthing]

wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read. 

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment 

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[unravelling-the-world]

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

[donttellthemangosiwashere]

Guess who watched Frozen2 yesterday and is back on her AU Juice

ok get this, using thomas’s rewrite for Frozen 1 but also 

you know that theory where Hans is like,,,, a chill dude, and the rock trolls are the evil ones and mind-controlled him into fuckin shit up so Christof would become king? also that

Spoilers for Frozen 2 so,,,, be wary

Virgil is Elsa 

Paranoid shut-in, afraid of scary ice powers, convinced himself he’s perfectly comfortable with being alone forever. Distrusts Dee immediately because he can sense the presence of magic in him, but he doesn’t know that’s what it is at first

Patton is Ana 

Emotionally volatile, quick to trust/immediately assumes the best in people, bit of a hopeless romantic

Roman is Christof 

Agrees to help Patton because “ur a prince, I cant let you do this alone it’s not noble of me to leave u hanging like that”

Remus is Roman’s funky twin brother who would rather just continue being a rock troll honestly

Kinda functions as Sven/Olaf/comic relief buddy character but they also DO have an Olaf and a reindeer steed to pull the wagon. He's hanging out with Patton and Roman during most of the movie

Deceit is Hans

Actually a prince from another country who’s like an ok dude and does grow fond of Patton immediately after meeting him, not evil until later

Logan is the head guard/politician guy with the big nose that was their advisor/guardian after their parents died, you know the guy

He's gonna be much more important in the story. He mostly tails Dee and slowly figures out that there’s something weird about him towards the end, and tries to protect Virgil and Patton from him. He cares about them so much, but he’s bad with emotions, so he’s not great at helping Patton with his loneliness or helping Virgil with his anxiety. Even when the rest of the kingdom starts to turn against them, he never doubts that Virgil is good

Character Thomas is Olaf because that’s cute as hell

He’s an embodiment of Virgil’s love for and protectiveness over Patton, but the longer he exists, the more he starts to develop his own personality and traits based on who he spends time with? So eventually Logan, Roman, Remus, Deceit, and Patton all become a part of him too, and he’s their little amalgamation snow son

(plot stuff under the cut. be warned, i put waaaay too much goddamn thought into this)

Ok so most of the first movie happens as normal. Thomas is just a lovable little anxious snow boy who walks around and dotes over and protects Patton, Reindeer is just a regular animal, Virgil runs away after a freakout, Patton goes to find him, etc etc etc

But when Hans is on the road in the first movie (when him and some soldiers have just captured Virgil from his ice castle and are marching back to the kingdom) their caravan is jumped by the rock trolls. Virgil doesn’t know whats going on cause he’s trapped in a carriage with no windows, but the rock trolls lure Dee away and then do the evil magic thing, they puppet him from then on to imprison Virgil and refuse to kiss Patton.

Roman and Remus drop Patton off and return to the woods, right? Roman’s being all reluctant about it, and Remus is like “im sure he still wants to be ur friend bro, it doesnt matter that he’s a prince and we’re common, you KNOW he doesnt care about all that” but Roman is not convinced, says he’ll ‘think about it’. They return to the rock trolls, and Remus sees the shaman in the process of puppeting Dee, in the “if only there was someone who loved you” scene where Patton is clearly dying. Remus runs to tell Roman what’s really happening, and they get caught. Roman stays behind to fight off the other rock trolls, buying Roman time to race towards the castle and save the brothers

The “if only there was someone who loved you” scene is different, tho. First of all, Dee doesn’t say that. He (and the shaman) are too smart to give up the bit until they are SURE they’ve won. Dee refuses to kiss Patton, but in like a soft way. (Got this scene from my friend Nat on discord, one of the reasons i made this au at all, its fucking KILLER) It’s more like a 

“i mean yes im fond of you but I don’t love you??? We just met” “but you proposed!” “We’re princes, looking for love in marriage is an idea I abandoned a long time ago. I figured I could at least make you happy, and an alliance between our kingdoms would be favorable.” “Oh...” “I could see myself falling in love with you, Patton, i mean that. But right now... If I could break the curse, I would. I’m deeply sorry.... Is there anything I can do to keep you warm?“ “No, there’s nothing...” “How dare your bother turn his magic against you? First he freezes the kingdom, then that golem, then he curses his own brother? (he does a whole schpeil where he convinces an emotionally broken and shellshocked Patton that Virgil is actually like evil and bad) ...Sit here, I will get you some blankets.” (Again, quote @glorifiedpigeon! She wrote a whole scene like this with Dee as Hans and Roman as Elsa, its bonkers as hell!! So good!)

While he’s gone “getting blankets” (Dee’s really just gonna leave him to freeze) Thomas sneaks in, and starts up a fire. Patton tells him not to do that cause he’ll melt, and he’s like “some people are worth melting for.” Thomas can tell Patton he’s upset and they talk about Virgil and how Patton doesn’t know what to think anymore. Thomas melts while keeping the fire warm for Patton, his sacrifice breaks the cold-poison-curse-thing and Patton is saved. The conversation Patton has with Thomas while he’s dying is weirdly familiar, and Patton realizes that it’s a 1 to 1 of a conversation him and Virgil had when they found out there parents died, when Virgil promised to “protect you no matter what, i love you.” Patton realizes Thomas was just a representation of Virgil’s brotherly love for him, which is cute as fuck, and then he goes to save his brother.

Virgil is visited by Logan, who busts him out of his cell, telling him he never doubted him for a second, but he’s wary of Dee. They run away together, panning to go out and find Patton and finally talk everything out. Dee reaches them, and calls Logan a traitor to the crown for helping Virgil escape, insisting that the fact that they are running away proves Virgil’s guilt. Logan tells Virgil to stay calm and keep a hold on his powers, and goes to confront Dee alone. Dee twists Logan’s words and just makes them sound more suspicious, eventually whacking Logan with the handle of his sword and knocking him out. Virgil is enraged, and attacks Dee. He almost kills him, but then Roman arrives, and stops Virgil from landing a killing blow. He’s about to explain what’s happening, and that Dee can still be saved and it’s not his fault, but Dee (with the rock troll magic being channeled through him) Silences Roman with a spell, so he cant speak. 

At the moment, Virgil is scared, distressed, and kinda cornered since he refuses to leave Logan’s unconscious body, and Virgil has no reason to trust Roman. All Roman knows about Virgil is that he’s wicked powerful and volatile, and he knows he can’t let Hans kill Virgil. This leads to the three of them all fighting each other 1v1v1, Hans trying to kill Roman and Virgil, Virgil trying to fend off Hans and Roman, and Roman trying to keep ether of the other two from killing each other while protecting himself.

Patton finally reaches them, and sees Roman knocked out and trapped in ice, incapacitated by Virgil, and Virgil is doin some ice magic at Dee, about to kill him, or at least wound him, to escape. Patton protects Dee, and is like “Yo no wait Virgil, you both have the wrong idea! He’s just scared of you, he’s not bad!” And Roman really wants to say “He IS bad but not in the way you think!”, but he’s still silenced. Virgil’s like “uh yeah he IS bad, look at what he did to Logan!” 

Finally, Remus catches up. He runs in from behind Dee and Patton, so they don’t see him approach until he yells to them about the trolls and whats actually going on. While they’re all distracted, Dee attacks Patton, holding him at knife-point and using him as a hostage to get Virgil to stop with the magics.

How is this fight resolved? Fuck if I know, I kinda wrote myself into a corner lmao. They are somehow able to incapacitate/trick dee, and Virgil uses his magic to override the trolls and free him from the mind-control.

And, at the end, there’s this cute little scene, after Patton is explaining everything that happened to Virgil and vice versa, where Patton’s like:

“Wait, wait! Can you resurrect Thomas??” and Virgil’s all snarky about it like “I dont know, wouldn’t that lessen the impact of his sacrifice? He’s like, a part of me, right? I think he’d like to go out all melancholy and poetic like that” “Virgil oh my goodness if you dont bring back my little snowman buddy I will cry here and now” “Okay, okay, jeez”

HERE IS WHERE THE SECOND MOVIE COMES IN

pretty much the only thing that changes is this: you know the voice thing that Elsa just starts hearing out of nowhere as a sign to fix past wrongs and whatnot? Virgil only starts hearing them now BECAUSE the rock trolls were blocking the signal from reaching him. And, Dee comes with them on this adventure and kinda redeems himself over the course of the movie by being a cool dude. And, the grampa who did the betraying was ALSO controlled by the rock trolls way back when; the rock trolls have been trying to destabilize the magic for years so that they could siphon more of it away from the spirits for their own personal use, and they got greedy once they had humans (re and ro) to work with, wanting political power as well. (Dee has been staying with them in their kingdom, as the ambassador from his country or whatever)

And for all you Shippers out there

the ships for this could be literally anything, dude. like literally any combination works, go fucking hogwild. Doesn’t even have to have a romantic ship or anything, it could just be everyone being platonic lovely babies.

[jwnbwnjwn]

Entry 8 (12.20.2020)

 Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well). 

I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick. 

I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.

Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM

-jen

[ogkunty]

Furcadia Toxicity

The complete log file is provided, everything here is unedited, this all transpired publicly and should be available for everyone to have access to at all times. Thank you. (19:14:03) Tacada: watching the riot police going (19:14:21) Kixy: Protesting doesn't do anything. (19:14:23) Kunty: Nah, tell people to spend time with their fucking families they keep trying to ride dicks/cunts out of (19:14:23) Tacada: theyre taking the hong kong approach the protestors. using cones n water to stop tear gas nades (19:14:32) Kunty: they riot if quarantined. (19:14:33) Ditty: god (19:14:37) Ditty: turned out as expected (19:14:45) Ditty: Kixy: People will make a bigger stink out of not being called the correct pronoun than anything important. (19:14:48) Ditty: so peoples pronouns are important (19:14:52) Ditty: not sure why you have to bring that into this lmao (19:14:58) Puffin: ^^^^^^ (19:15:01) Ditty: Maya: Just offer free heroin and meth, you'll see enough people. (19:15:02) Ditty: so thats gross (19:15:07) Ditty: not sure why you have to bring that into this either (19:15:08) Kunty: IDC about pronouns, why is that even a thing? (19:15:09) Kixy: The point was that people get more angry over stupid shit than anything serious? (19:15:15) Ditty: pronouns are not stupid shit (19:15:19) Kunty: They are (19:15:21) Kixy: Yes they are. (19:15:27) Puffin: Riots are the language of the unheard, fam (19:15:29) Kixy: Compared to SO SO many things. (19:15:34) Ditty: why do we have to compare (19:15:39) Ditty: peoples identities are extremely important (19:15:41) Ditty: you cant rank it among other things (19:15:54) Ditty: did you know humans have the capacity to care about multiple things at once or are furcadians not able to do that (19:15:55) Tacada: sorry ditty i started all of this O.O (19:15:57) Kunty: I agree with Kixy, pronouns are NOT important in comparison to riots, killings, and corona. (19:16:03) Ditty: why are we comparing them (19:16:06) Ditty: answer the question

SEE THE REST WITH THIS LINK TO THE HTML LOG FILE

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The Devil’s Den Discord Meanwhile... Yes, you may Join.

/6:33 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: IMAGINE SEXUALLY HARASSING PEOPLE AND BEING TRANSPHOBIC AS FUCK ON FUCADIA [6:34 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: LITERALLY JUST FOR ATTENTION [6:34 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: WHO FAILED YOU [6:35 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: JK ITS YOUR OWN FUCKIN FAULT [6:35 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: "THE DEVIL'S DEN" THIS IS SOME SERIOUSLY TEEENY EDGELORD SHIT [6:35 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GROSS RAPE FANTASY THESAURUS-FUCKING DESCRIPTION [6:36 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: UNAPOLOGETIC SEXUAL HARASSERS SHOULD BE SHOT [6:39 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: jesus your discord server is dead as fuck [6:39 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: small wonder you have no friends [6:39 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: you are human garbage(edited) [6:43 PM] Hellcat: I'm here to fuck ass [6:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: its completely dead its no use [6:44 PM] Hellcat: Plague queens are my fetish tho [6:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: im here to fuck ass and fuck bubblegum [6:45 PM] Hellcat: Who failed you lmfao [6:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: yeah i had to rethink that cuz that'd mean it's someone else's fault [6:46 PM] Hellcat: It smells like poop and semen [6:47 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: as expected [6:55 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: [REDACTED] just thought yall should know your friend is a gross transphobe who repeatedly talked about my partner's genitals after being asked not to [6:55 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: and also claimed corona was a good thing because the world needs a "plague" [6:55 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: attention seeking teen edgelord bullshit [6:56 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: could only respond with "k" when it was brought up [7:08 PM] Ill: ? [7:09 PM] Ill: Logs please @Xzfgiiimtsath#6669(edited) [7:11 PM] Ill: It is without saying that unless evidence is provided, everything else is simply hearsay. I’m sorry to say that, without visible proof of this outrageous claim, you’re kind of just making empty accusations and slanderous character bashing. ): [REDACTED]  [7:12 PM] Ill: Oh, I guess they just wanted to troll. ): I’m sorry, hopefully this can be cleaned up. [7:28 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: OH HI [7:28 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: JUST ASK HER SHE WONT DENY IT [7:28 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: she was pretty proud of it on furc [7:28 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: i can post logs but judging from your response to that you'd just say i'd edited them lol [7:29 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: is it really hard to believe that she'd say something like that? seems pretty in-character for her [7:31 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: i mean you guys jerk it to beast porn tho i dont have high hopes for any moral outrage here [7:31 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: but if there were any trans people in the server id def want them to know [7:33 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: she was shit-talking people who care about their pronouns [7:33 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: my partner, who is trans, tries to explain to them what's wrong with that [7:35 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: then Kunty's response is to repeatedly talk about not wanting to hear about their genitals(?) which has nothign to do with pronouns and wasnt part of the conversation [7:35 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: when asked to stop talking about their genitals she continues unabated just to piss them off(edited) [7:36 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: you can choose to believe im just making this up for no reason if you want, but that would be really fucking brickheaded of you [7:37 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: care more about your shitty transphobic friend repeatedly who was bringing up my partners genitals randomly and without their consent(edited) [7:37 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: @ill [7:40 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: again, 0 hopes for you response, youre a fantasy animal r*pe enthusiast who says things like, "It is without saying that unless evidence is provided," [7:40 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: holy fuck get your head out of your ass [7:41 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: but ill STILL warn you of your transphobic friend since judging on your art youre lgbtq+ [7:43 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: are you just gonna wait til i leave again to respond? figures [7:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: you didnt even ask them about it, just "NO EVIDENCE SO ITS FAKE" [7:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: you'd really go that far to defend this person when you have no idea what happened? [7:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: god you fucking suck [7:44 PM] Ill: Okay but [7:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: but nothing [7:44 PM] Ill: You are actively here [7:44 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: wow youre a fuckin genius or something eh [7:44 PM] Ill: Why are you being aggressive? [7:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: because im pissed [7:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: obviously [7:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: stupid question [7:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: why are you deflecting [7:45 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: and defending your transphobic friend for no god damn reason [7:46 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [7:46 PM] Ill: Okay, I understand that you are in an emotional state right now, but I would really need you to calm down first before coming off on a rage to people that have no idea what you are upset over. [7:46 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: ? [7:46 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: read my post dumbass [7:46 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: then you'd know [7:46 PM] Ill: No [7:46 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: LOL [7:47 PM] Ill: Here is why [7:47 PM] Ill: The stupidest things we say are said out of Anger. [7:47 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: are you legit like 14 [7:47 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: im wasting my time [7:47 PM] Ill: I will advise you a little more directly that you take time to calm down before you come venting. [7:48 PM] Ill: No, I am asking you to be an adult [7:48 PM] Ill: And not a raging tween with a hormone spike [7:48 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: said the literal child who thinks having emotions means "not being an adult" [7:48 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: lmfao [7:48 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: not being pissed about transphobia is a character flaw [7:48 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: work on it bitch [7:48 PM] Ill: I emphasize with your anger, I am not saying it is wrong to have them [7:48 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: emphasize with my anger [7:49 PM] Ill: I am saying that you are abusing everyone else for things we have no knowledge or control over [7:49 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: what the fuck are you talking about [7:49 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: im warning you about your transphobic friend and youre being a piece of shit about it [7:50 PM] Ill: You are acting like a child, I’ve been there and done that - it does not end well. Please take time to self care for yourself first so you can be an adult that can have a calm conversation [7:50 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: and you also fantasize about r*ping animals so again: 0 hope for you to have any concept of why things are wrong [7:50 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: total fucking human garbage [7:50 PM] Xzfgiiimtsath: [8:05 PM] Ill: I am going to go step away before I address this further, I am losing some patience very quickly. I am kindly asking you to do the same so that you may take time to care for yourself during this clearly highly emotional state you are in. Maybe sip some cool water, dab your cheeks with ice, and/or take a moment with a loved one that makes you feel safe. I do not know what else to recommend here, I do not assume ignorance right away when meeting people, and I would like to think that other people can also step back to rationalize themselves down from tensions like these. I call this being an adult, growing up enough to get beyond yelling and throwing every accusation at someone simply because you’re angry. Accepting that it could be possible there is a grave misunderstanding, or maybe even misinterpretation of intent/meaning. As a person that never gets these opportunities to rationalize issues away from pure misunderstood hatred, I have never seen the actual outcome. In the adult world here, if we are angry with someone that offended us, we can’t just go into their family bbq and be screaming like lunatics about how their goat fuckers based solely on our interpretations, either. That would lead to calling the police... it doesn’t get you anywhere ... not in the adult world. You need to stop and care for yourself before you come guns blazing. You don’t DO this in the adult world and then call the adults staring at you like a tantruming toddler “children” because they won’t feed your anger. I’m sorry, for whatever it is you feel WE did to you specifically. You came here, though and whatever your assumptions are, I understand that there is no arguing with you or reasoning with you beyond you are the victim of some unproven atrocity. 

- Xzfgiiimtsath#6669 - Hellcat#0186

(19:15:15) Ditty: pronouns are not stupid shit (19:15:19) Kunty: They are (19:15:21) Kixy: Yes they are.

[universal-kitty]

.: NatsuShio: The OC/Canon Ship That Ruined My Life :.

(In the Best Way)

@supernatural-cat98, get buckled in.

   Let’s start with how I started. An Okami OC.

   Her name is Shiori, but her full name is Shiorigami, a brush kami OC for the game Okami. Once an adoptable from DeviantArt, I made her into a fully-fleshed out character fit for the game. Sure, she’s an usual hybrid (nekotori; cat body, but with tail feathers like a small peacock), but she’s the kami of Poems and Literature. She’s got social anxiety and a thinly veiled reference to autism, as she is stunted to everyone, including her extensive family...but writing is where she blooms.

   Fiction, biographies, history, poems of all kinds... If it’s writing, she’s happy. It protects her and makes her happy, even when she fears she isn’t a good enough brush kami. Even if her powers are an inky echo of her mother’s.

   She once had short hair. She once loved a Lunarian named Kazuki... A scholar of the Moon Tribe, during a period of tension and war between his people and the Celestials... Shiori’s people. Despite it all, they truly did love each other, despite never admitting it out loud. He was gifted a scroll of poems he inspired her to write. He gave her a golden necklace- almost collar-like- with the symbol of the Moon Tribe engraved on the back.

   ...He would end up dying in a slaughter done by the evil the Moon Tribe had summoned. Those who fled to the mortal world to escape the war becoming the only survivors. Kazuki was gone...and left Shiori not only with a deep depression, but also with a fear to care for anyone who was mortal.

   Who could die and be ripped from her grasp, just like Kazuki had.

   Her hair grew out over the years (faceclaim: Suiren Shibazeki from Hibi Chouchou), protected by her mother to ease her pain of the death of the one she loved most...and in the years after the events of Okami, would stay either in her room on the Celestial Plain or occasionally live on the mortal world, in a small house to herself among a forest not too far from Ryoshima Coast.

   And so. It would be this starting point for a fateful meeting...

   Natsu Dragneel. Specifically, burningheartdragneel, my roleplay partner. (To my Shio, @goddessof-poems.) He met Amaterasu first, having somehow...gotten himself a little universe-lost. Befriending her was easy; both liking to fight, both loving to eat... It was easy for them.

   Yet he poses an interesting challenge for sweet, quiet Shiori. Little bookworm, easily forgets to eat at all, and isn’t much one for the adventuring scene, like her mother or Natsu.

   ...However, it’s because of her Natsu learns the joys of reading; specifically, an adventurous story of fiction Shiori had written some time before. He makes a small, but decent meal for the forgetful Shiori, ensuring she eats...and even motivates her to get out of her home, taking him to show off Ryoshima Coast and her own Water Tablet that Amaterasu gifted her.

   It’s our current roleplay and a still on-going one, but we came up with so much more as we talked over Discord. They will slow burn their way, but us? We know how the path goes....and we ended up falling in love with a pairing of our own creation.

ExoticGeneral: Ah gods I love this! Especially since Shiori isn't the kind to stop her work to eat or anything Natsu would at some point bring snacks with him and probably feed her (and he hardly likes sharing either) because somebodies is gonna have to be watching over her. But if he woke up with her all beside him, he'd be pretty flustered about it. Plus as an added bonus he always oddly warm, which makes for good cuddling in the winter/chilly days. :3c Yeah, he'd probably be more careful with her because even if she is a brush good she's just so fragile. He'd probably bond with her relatively easy though since he's always been a cat kinda guy? But yeah, demon hunting would be a big no-no while she was around. No need to try and scare her away. But I thought about that heat headcanon thing would be funny cause I can't see either making the first move ever! xD

Aki: Oh gosh, yeah. Shiori's the type for "skinny love" situations, where it's almost painfully obvious she loves the person, but if nobody acts on it, then it's this firm stalemate. Tbh, she'd likely only "confess" if he got really hurt and she was scared for him....but even then, it's confusing for the oblivious bc-?? Was that a confession? What if it wasn't????

ExoticGeneral: But god a confession like that would be hilarious cause it might just go over his head! He'd probably just grin like an idiot, being all like 'Thanks that means a lot' and playing it off as completely platonic possibly. He may be bold in everything else, but love is something he's actually insecure about considering his first girlfriend died, his mom, like three of his dads and his brother wants to murder him.

Aki: Ommmmggggg. She'd probably laugh a little and keep trying to tell herself it's better this way, bc like...... (And this is what kills me) She'd rather have a friend in him than nothing at all bc of rejection so she'd start spiraling down and try to keep upbeat even though she keeps thinking about it and getting guilty bc what if he only wants them to be friends???? What if he didn't like romance at all?? She doesn't want to push him away from her..... She'd rather suffer years of not having him love her back then lose him. (And re-reading this..... Ouch on the death of the first girlfriend. Shiori knows that pain.... Except slightly more painful that she also never confessed to the guy and lost him to the slaughter of the Moon Tribe.)

ExoticGeneral: AKI DONT They'd both end up suffering because they're shy potatoes who can't convey their feelings properly for the life of them! It wouldn't even get better cause she'd only start going down hill after a while and he'd more than likely notice but not realize he's the problem in a way and FUUUUUUCCCKKKK

Aki: HAHAHAHAHAA, YOU'RE TOO LATE; MY POWERS HAVE BEEN REALIZED She'd actually manage pretty well for awhile, being oblivious, but then the feelings would start and that very emotion would be her downfall. Because then what are you supposed to do when you want to hug your "friend" for no apparent reason and just...stay there? That you wouldn't mind if he stayed over all the time and got to sleep with him, because that's when the nightmares kept away from her? (And even if they did show up, he was there to comfort her...) She's an absolutely wreck after awhile and keeps spacing out and begins to screw up and she's like a black hole collapsing in on itself and it hurts so bad to watch

ExoticGeneral: STAHP YOURE HURTING MY SHIPPER HEART BEFORE THE SHIP ACTUALLY EXISTS That blackhole though, like how do you even fix that??? Because the closer you get to her the more it's probably hurting her and you could confess but getting closer is what caused it to progress. HOW DO YOU PROTECT YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU'RE THE PROBLEM!?!? Your making me emotional and it's only like 8 in the morning, I don't want to start my day sad already!

Aki: Shiori finally breaking down in front of Natsu though. Like, it was a little trip over a tree root or something and she says, "O-oh, n-no, I'm fine...." But Natsu's just-??? No you're not, you're crying. Why are you crying? What hurts?? And from there she starts bawling and Natsu is awkward but tries his best. He also has little to no idea what she's saying pass those sobs of hers, but oUCH PAIN EVERYWHERE. Then- awhoop- right out of that sobbing mess comes a pretty clear confession, whoo boy--

ExoticGeneral: But HOLY SHIT when a confession happens he'd get flustered. To the point of constant figgeting and just a permanent blush would cover his face. He'd probably end up staying silent, then just start crying and fuck me up. The first confession of his life??? hE WAS NOT READY FOR THIS BUT IS TOTALLY ACCEPTING OF THIS! She'd get to see an entirely new spectrum of him though when he gets all soft-hearted and actually reveals his romantic side???

Aki: Shiori's equally as flustered and waiting to please just collapse in on herself and cease existance....and then once she realized she didn't fuck things up, she's crying with him and so much affection????? Oh no, the cutes. Cutes everywhere. Also Shiori is a huge sap and she's going to love that. But now he has to deal with his cute new goddess gf blushing whenever he smooches even just her cheek. Or holds her hand. Or snuggles up to her..... When he breathes LMAO, Jk...~

ExoticGeneral: THem crying together. THat thought just gives me life cause they're just two mushy emotional destroyed people atm. Just I don't even know who would actually recover first at that point, maybe Natsu, and just give her the longest most affectionate hug he's got in him. This relationship ain't gonna last long, give it like a week and he'll probably die from a cute overload. He'd try to pamper her a bit (though he wouldn't know how really) and just take her out to star gaze and do some silly things. But holding hands??? Like that's really lewd ya know.

Aki: Yeeeaaaahhh, he probably would. Shiori's trying to calm down, but those silly tears won't stop~ But she'll still snuggle close when he hugs her and hug him back. AH. AAAAAAHHHHHH. Natsu coming back to her place after that little event and suddenly, her new greeting is, "Welcome home," with a bright smile. Natsu kneels tf over bc cHRIST DID HE JUST HAVE A HEARTATTACK?!?!?!??

   Oh yes. We had a LENGTHY talk about their confession... But is that all? Of course not!! We’ve also had conversations about...

   Sleeping habits:

Aki: Oh man, and if she woke up to that racing heart of his.... All sleepy and concerned and it's right out of a romance novel and someone help Natsu bc death is rapidly approaching

ExoticGeneral: And the thing is that's one of his quirks. Like his way of saying 'I think I like you' IS sleeping at there house a lot more often. TO the point where it's just an everyday exerpeince and it's only weird if he DOESN'T show up one night.

Aki: !!!! Natsu being late one night and he's surprised bc it's late as fuck but there's Shiori, obviously tired and ready for bed, but unable to sleep because she'd gotten used to sleeping with Natsu and his warmth. (He has to pull confidence and fake cheer before he's allowed to start dying in the darkness of her room; that was so fuckin' cute and she was holding onto that little cat plush and she looked so lonely jfc whAT THE FUCK that level of cute is illegal in all the states and all of the worlds and timelines, bYE)

ExoticGeneral: But I can totally see that! He just kinda pushes open her door and it's like 2 in the fucking morning. The conflicted feelings he must have though knowing that when he walks in there he's gonna suffer for a few hours or more but is like 'fuck ing worth it.'  (She needs to tone it down because if the guy who lives to fight wants to SNUGGLE then there's a problem. No one man, goddess or not, should be allowed to have so much power!)

Aki: She's just more than happy to see him bc dang it, she couldn't sleep without him...and the second she's comfy and curled up against him? Boop. Out like a light. (Plot twist: her real power is being cute as hell. Her cuteness so strong, who needs weaponry?? Flutter those lashes, tilt her head... If she has the ears and feather tails out? B y e. You're dead now. Sorry, don't make the rules.)

ExoticGeneral: JEEz THOUGH! Not being able to sleep without him! Now all of a sudden he becomes like a necessity for a proper nights sleep, or any at all really. (But that's one way to competely get to him. Sexy? Pfffft, he can ignore that most of the time. Cute, fucking slay him okay? Just 'Here lies Natsu, rest in pieces' and fuck she's a cutie!)

Aki: I mean.... He could be a mean little one and let her pass out once it becomes too much, but there's also the huge implication that Natsu actually sorta gets her on a sleep schedule?? Something she usually doesn't have at all???? When Natsu's getting snuggled up in the futon, it basically becomes a sign of, "Oh, time to stop for today and sleep." Reverse alarm clock, Natsu is. Getting a certain poetry goddess to bed rather than waking her up (or keeping her up, as is). (Shiori perfected the cute ability. Cute traits that'd be passed down for generations. Flirting-but-not-flirting, the ultimate technique. How will poor Natsu ever survive?!?)

   Dinners with Mom Amaterasu:

Aki: Meet the parents? More like, "Forget that formal stuff! Let's go out and eat dessert before dinner!!!!" Because Ammy doesn't really do formal anymore and why not just....use the time for the better?? Like eating???? Not to mention, then she can embarrass the two like, "Now you gotta feed each other. Do it, do it, do it~!!" Ammy is a gr8 mom, as you can tell

ExoticGeneral: Well I don't think it could happen. I think Ammy and natsu met because he tried pelting her with water ballons. There is no need to be formal after that! But I can see Ammy rigging everything somehow. Just like ordering milkshakes for all three but 'accidentally' forgets one so she gets a whole one while Natsu and shiori share. with coincidentally two staws.

Aki: "Hmmmm, would you look at that.... Strange." Casually drinks at her own like NBD--  And that's true!!! No formality exists here; there's only the two dorks and the shy poet, who's more than happy to be the little side-line cheerleader for their antics. (Unless they're questionable. Then she's worried and trying to get them off of the idea. Probably crit. hits Natsu by being cute.)

  The time I almost wrote in our RP that Shiori was gonna kiss his cheek....and they’re not even CLOSE to dating, oh boy:

Aki: .....It suddenly occurs to me that I want an aesthetic made of NatsuShio.............

ExoticGeneral: I'm laughing. This isn't a pairing (Yet) and you're like grabby hands

Aki: Hey. Hey. Compare this to the time I almost wrote in Shio kissing Natsu's cheek waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too early, and a little aesthetic ain't that bad~

ExoticGeneral: You know if you had wrote that slip up I would have went along with it too. It would have been a hilarious mess.

Aki: LMAO. Even Shiori would be confused like, "......I have never before in my LIFE ever done that.... Why did I do that now?!?" This is the Sims and I am the tru god and their lives are my pLAYTHINGS

ExoticGeneral: He would have stopped everything for a solid 5 minutes then continue like it didn't happen. If you don't react it's like it never happened, right? I mean that's how we do it anyways. We make them suffer cause it's fun

Aki: Plot twist, though...... Isn't even freezing considered a reaction?! So by freezing he thinks he didn't react, but the act of freezing up is a reaction in itself......!! YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED, NATSU!!! They aren't suffering yet, buuuuut..... All in due time

   Memes, of course:

ExoticGeneral: Ammy: So do you and Shio call each other pet names? Natsu: Pfffft! No! Of course not! Ammy: What do bees make then? Natsu:....Honey? Shio, from the other room: Yeah, sweetie? Ammy: Don't you ever lie to my face again.

Aki: tHIS WOULD HAPPEN, F U CK-- I AM LOSING IT

   And the moment we acknowledged how we know this ship was The One; our OTP forever and always: (featuring the best rant I’ve ever written for this ship)

ExoticGeneral: It's literally freaking insane how you just start having ten billions of ideas running through you're head! Like okay time to put then through some angst hell, then recovery fluff, little slice of life, smooches and some bonding/ development??? Like Im getting way too far ahead of myself here??? But the ideas/drabbles keep on rolling anyway. This is how you know this is the one.

Aki: Yes!!! And like.... Honestly, I pride myself on doing "realistic" stuff? Having my characters contradict themselves sometimes, do something that would hurt....cause humans are like that. Hell, it's why I also brazenly went for Shiori's emotional breakdown when she heard the news that all Lunarians had died..... Including her dear Kazuki.  Being able to imagine and know how that breakdown went in my head, where nothing she tried worked, until she went crawling back to her mother to grant her wish to not exist...take the pain away......  Boi. B o i. When it comes to big time storywriting, I get hELLA AMPED. I'm ready to show them every corner of the world, good or bad. Perfection or deep flaws. Give me that angst where they will realize that it hurts, but having someone to hurt with makes the pain ease a little. It doesn't fix everything, but having those assuring words and someone who cares deeply makes it harder to be upset. Let them have those slice of life days where Shiori wakes up in bed for once, stomach not aching or feeling like a void, and ready to start a new day. Have him drag her out to explore and shake up her old, rigid life. Let them, in the future, kiss and hug and wonder why....but know that if waiting so long meant finding love and getting it this right, then it was worth the wait. Let them develop so much, that we look back to where we started and cackle with joy, cause they friggen made it. Wow, a sappy rant from me, yEEHAW

ExoticGeneral: Damn right sister! Preach it! Like sometimes I just sit there with some bsckground music on and its so fitting that you just throw out 20 paragraphs like no problem. I just need those days with them where they argue over something little and it gets so blown out of proprtion and convoluted that they just forget what is was about? Just random nights of stargazing then falling asleep? Or literally doing nothing and either of them thinks of their s/o and gets super flustered for no reason? The day they actually become a couple but still trains his tush off and shio doesnt ask how he got strong, but why he did cause heckie is that gonna be one wild ride of a story. But the simple, final answer is to  protect her. Not because she's the daughter of Ammy, but because he failed to do so with his dad and elder brother and doesn't want to lose her too. Like I want weakness that comes with trust? Fear that comes with love? But also the fulfilling satisfaction of contentness. That you wouldn't trade this for anything else, its a unique feeling that only they can deliver. Ya feel?

Aki: Right??? Good heavens, mention music and now I need to go look up Shio's number one mood music........ Can't think Shio romance (especially where it's "skinny love") without remembering the song, sO-- Right?? Well, more likely her trying to fight back but she angry cries and just gets frustrated and shuts down. Won't talk. Won't feed the flames anymore with replies, but doesn't seek peace, either. It's a night where it alternates between dead silence in the home once more or quiet, strained sobs of someone who's already used to being hurt; she's just finding it harder to keep that pain quiet.    But it's..... It's home. More than it's ever been. From a family she couldn't quite connect with some days, to her own home all to herself... A place her own and where her life fit.    Last thing she would've ever expected is to find- in many ways- her opposite....and yet someone she'd find herself falling for all the same. Where it's funny to imagine her home used to be quiet and peaceful. Now there's some training dummies outside and even if he strays from home, she can hear him making noises out not too far away. There's footsteps of another person in her home now. This home....it's his home, too.    Something they're both happy to have. Company, understanding, and just.... An imbalance that makes it a balance by not being perfect.    She slows him down. He speeds her up.    They learn something from each other.    It hurts sometimes. His life will likely be long....but to what length? Will it end? Does she want to know? Should she ask?    And understanding what her mother saw in mortals from that.... Just because they cannot match in eternal age, doesn't make it all any less. The memories shared? Still memories made. Love was still had and wasn't it sweet? To love someone so completely, to have fought and made up, loved and lost...    It's scarier when it's you who can be hurt; this isn't watching someone's life play out like a movie. This is her life now and his and theirs together and it breaks her heart to know she could potentially lose him, but..... He's going to teach her so much. And she would understand what her mother does.    He'll be loved all the more for it.

ExoticGeneral: I literally have absolutely no words for this. I cant believe you would make me cry like this at midnight. This was the most hurtful, true, heartfelt yet heartbreaking thing I've read. I freaking forgot you did poetry is you spare time like holy.

   ...They just. Work together. It’s the perfect “opposites attract” relationship while still maintaining a balance between who they are alone and what their relationship is. The bolster of inspiration and motivation that they get from each other... He motivates her to leave the house more (often with him on a little adventure) and gives her that experience. As said, she slows him down and gets him to read more. Even try writing for himself, writing Shiori a small poem that he [slams down onto her desk and runs off in a hurry] gives her.

   Broadening their horizons with each other. The support and pure affection and how they do their best in their own ways to support each other... It’s perfect. Made a home in our hearts. And we sure wouldn’t want it any other way.

   As a final note... Have one more silly little meme we came up with:

Aki: So I'm re-reading our chat [again] and I just thought of this...... Natsu: I live to fight, so Imma take you down!!! Shiori, in her sleepy-whiny voice: Natsuuuu...... I wanna cuddle.... Natsu, already leaving: .......Someone else lives to fight and will take you down!!!

ExoticGeneral: You know that old saying goes, he who runs away lives to fight another day I'm glad I'm the only who just goes back and re-reads this entire message board of gross romance and heartbreak

   So yes, ship NatsuShio. Your heart will thank you...after it dies for 2 hours because of the angst that tails this ship in bittersweet flavors.

[captive-eve-blog]

So uh... I just saw the most bullshit callout posts in the history of ever and I don’t think these people are as smart as they think they are...

Okay, feck it. Lemme explain why. I won’t say the handles of the call out posters, if you look it up you’ll easily find them.

Pornhub post

This was a JOKE. Hate the joke, love the joke, this isn’t proof of anything. Also, I’d really love to know how someone could know that a majority of Fish’s audience is under the age of eighteen. And more on that note, Fish is under no obligation to protect their audience from anything, even if they’re under eighteen. 

The Fucktoy post

Also bullshit. Just seems like your average nineteen year old post. Goes like:

Fish: “Call me your fucktoy and destroy me!”

Fish: “oops! haha! wrong blog!”

Fish: “dont let me stop you though!”

Again... Average nineteen year old joke. I’d go as far as to say I’ve heard these jokes in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL! Not to mention, Fish has tagged all of their posts appropriately. Still want proof over how they have a largely minor fanbase btw.

The Discord Server 

In my opinion, this is by far one of the worst ‘proofs’ I’ve seen. The screenshot ‘proof’ for this one is literally just a mod ranting about how aged up character porn isn’t pedophilia, and I’m of like mind to agree with them because guess fucking what?? Pedophiles are attracted to CHILDREN. Aged up character porn does not count as cp for that very reason. I never would’ve thought I’d have to explain that but here we are.

Are you gonna sit there and tell me that teenagers have never talked about stuff like this before? Or even far worse? Not to mention, how is it that “ADULT mods” is proof for you? Adults generally (I say generally, I know there’s exceptions) have more responsibility than teens or children. WHY IS THAT YOUR PROOF???

And the lolicon twitter account

After looking this up myself, I have to say it’s one of the dumber points. Those two screenshots had to have been dug out because amazingly?? There’s TONS more SFW work than there is NSFW. So yay, thanks for trying to warp the ‘evidence’ to suit your narrative. Guys, PLEASE do your own research before blindly believing anything.

Not to mention, scrolling the ‘loli’ artist, I don’t think the main focus of their account is lolis. I’ve found plenty of art of made up characters that look far older. You have to dig REALLY deep to find lolis in slightly NSFW ways and so far? I’ve yet to find it. I can believe it exists but what I can’t believe is that it’s as much a problem as people think it is. You can make ANYTHING negative if you try hard enough.

 About the second artist? I go to their twitter and BAM! 

“The characters I draw, I am trying to depict them older than in their source material so that they are not underage. and I will NEVER support any sort of harrassment or creepness towards kids or children”

This... Doesn’t look good for the callout post, tbh. I know some people will believe it regardless, but the ones that actually do the research will notice THIS on the artist’s twitter.

There’s also a point about how Fish ‘manipulates’ their fanbase and refuse to apologize. I’ve personally seen them apologize a good deal. And the point about the patreon is... Weird, in and of itself. People with patreons aren’t obligated to give you anything in return. Patreon is just meant for the AUDIENCE to support them. It’s nice if the person with patreon gives back but they’re not obligated to. 

I don’t subscribe to Fish’s patreon, so I don’t actually know what goes on there but that point was still weird to me regardless.

Also there’s a point about how ‘Fans of Fish have a cult-like devotion and it stems from a campaign of love-bombing and gratification’... This is literally taking whatever you can think of and make it negative.

People love Fish because of how sweet they are to everyone. People are drawn to them (reasons of many) because of how ready they are with compliments. That’s.... How is that automatically culty? You could LITERALLY call ‘cult-like devotion’ on any fanbase... That’s taking something positive and making it negative. Like I’ve said countless times, you could take ANYTHING positive and make it negative.

On the second one---- The second callout post also had some bs screenshots.

The first one made the claim of believing in reverse oppression. Now, I don’t immediately understand this one but I have two possibilities, both of which are bs. But first, the post.

“If you demonstrate any form of hating cishets, you will be kicked.” 

1) Callout person is making the claim that reverse oppression isn’t a thing and I would agree, not for the way they’re saying though I would think. Basically me saying it’s ALL oppression, no need to put reverse in front of it lmao. But if this point is the case then I would think that they think it’s not possible to oppress cishets since they’re... I dunno... Privileged?

2) Believes that the person in the screenshot is calling for ‘oppressing’ LGBT... I could be wrong on either account, it’s a weirdly phrased point.

To me, it looks like the person in the screenshot is against harassment rather than being for ‘oppression’. Of course, there’s no fecking context here but god...

Again, the point about aging up characters... I’ve made my point about that long ago.

The next point is about someone (apparently) thinking MAP is a sexuality. Now, this screenshot is weird in and of itself? I think Discord screenshots are sus period because of how easy it is to masquerade as other people and crop out useful information but I digress...

It’s basically a screenshot of a screenshot? It still has me going, “Okay... Is there more context?” 

Also..... The screenshot about Fish supposedly claiming lesbians are violent. Excuse me? I make these jokes with my friends and we’re as gay as can fucking be. It’s just another case of someone taking a joke way too far.

But well, that’s all I’ve got to say on this subject

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[chxrimoya]

im just posting this here so i have it later bc entertaining convo

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like anime.

You: hey whats up

Stranger: Not much, just chilling with my oniichan in my uchi you know?

You: damn wish i had an oniichan

You: im just hitoribocchi rn

Stranger: Yeah it's pretty easy to get when you are a kamisama like me you know?

Stranger: I am just a full on ikemen

Stranger: Got a harem

You: damn kamisama

You: gotta have a favorite tho right

Stranger: Of course

Stranger: Always the osananajimi

Stranger: Gotta respect the firsts

You: osananajimi always the best

You: maybe jus a little bit on tsun tsun, yknow

Stranger: Bro you understand me from my toes to my atama rn

Stranger: I like the kawaii girls that got the tsun tsun

You: damn bro im glad we could tsunagaru like this

Stranger: Bokumo I think this is a tokubestu connection

You: an honor for me to be nakama with kamisama

Stranger: I am laughing so hard rn I cant believe this is still going. Like majide??

You: sou, maji da yo

Stranger: Sounds like you study your nihongo all Majime and stuff

You: am i just gonna descend into full japanese

You: likewise my bro

Stranger: I think so my nakama

Stranger: Gotta go zenbu nihongo

You: it started as shuumi but now i have degree so

You: saikou no weeb da yo

Stranger: Oh I see bokumo started when I was a koukousei

You: i was only hontou majime when i was daigakusei

Stranger: Then I did it in Uni with a major in film minor in nihongo

Stranger: Okok

Stranger: 分かったwww

You: respect for my nakama to follow their dreams in kokosei

You: 草

You: i'm afraid i'm ちょっと下手 now from lack of use w

Stranger: これは最初に冗談だけど、ほんとに分かったwww

Stranger: Daijyoubu. I am the same

You: 感じ嫁できないｗ

You: i am a Fool in Man's Shoes

Stranger: Got my degree 3 years ago and habent studied since

You: what a fuckin mood

You: my usage is all in media consumption and music, honestly

Stranger: Okay kanjiless こらはさいしょにじょうだんだけど、ほんとにわかった

You: but i barely speak it lmao

Stranger: I see same

Stranger: I have no one to speak to

Stranger: Do you play games?

You: あぁそう、私も

Stranger: We could speak to each other! I was supposed to be sleeping so this must be fate

You: は～い

Stranger: Stay night

Stranger: If you know whatimean

You: I AM ZA BONE OBU MY SOARD

Stranger: What kind of games do you play? Any league or pubg?

You: i took a fat nap earlier so now i cant sleep

You: unmei da yo

Stranger: Hahah

Stranger: Where you from?

You: i quit league a while ago, but i was considering playing again tbh

Stranger: Omg

You: california!

Stranger: We can play together

Stranger: And talk

You: gonna have to catch me up on new meta tho

Stranger: Hey I am driving to LA in 2 hours lol

You: too many new items and changes MonkaS

Stranger: All good I'll nurture you my imouto

Stranger: XP

You: bruh good luck with the traffic lmao

You: only if i get sufficient headpats u_u

Stranger: I wanna die

Stranger: Of course you will! Uwu

Stranger: I always give cute bois headsets uwu

You: bro gimmie ya discord

Stranger: What's your discord?

You: ... bro

You: HAHA

You: eurae#9474

Stranger: We are on the same wavelength

You: icon should be of a nekomimi girl bc... im weak

Stranger: Added

Stranger: I think mine is a nekomimi boy so...

You: how can you be my kouhai if you're gonna be my oniichan :thinking:

Stranger: Shhhh

Stranger: Let it happen

You: so why you headed to LA anyway? work? o:

Stranger: Let this 23 yo onichan teach you the ways on how to be a bronze player in league of legends

You: bro we are the same age

Stranger: Work! I film!

Stranger: I am in Arizona rn

You: oh wow! do you travel a lot for work? o:

Stranger: From Canada tho! Going back tomorrow evening to the great white north!

Stranger: Here and there ^^

Stranger: I make the usual.

You: it's too hot here anyway q_q

Stranger: Wedding videos, music videos, commercials, porn

You: socal born and raised, still cant stand the heat

Stranger: Wait forget the last one

You: hey man why should i judge

Stranger: Which city?

You: how did our conversation start HAHA

Stranger: Haha just being silly xP

You: alhambra! it's about 30 mins out from LA

Stranger: Idk but it was amazing

Stranger: And it was fate legit

You: best laugh i've had in a while

Stranger: I was gonna sleep

You: honestly

Stranger: Before I clicked

Stranger: Then for some reason I didn't

Stranger: Idk shy

You: honestly i was about to close omegle because i kept getting kik bots

Stranger: Right????

Stranger: My god

You: "M 17 and horny" boy you are a MINOR

Stranger: The tag japanese is ONLY BOTS

Stranger: That's the one!!!

Stranger: Looking for weeb gf??

You: chris hansen? hello?

You: YEAH

You: almost got fuckin whiplash

Stranger: Omg

You: LOL

Stranger: Get Christmas on the line

You: konnichiwa keisatsu desuka?

Stranger: So you are Male too right just wondering?

Stranger: Loooool

You: 女だよ

Stranger: へええ まじで

You: そうよ！変かなぁ？ｗｗ

You: girls dont exist on the internet right lmao

Stranger: Well in that case *flexes arms* I hope you know I am at the top of my class. I main Vayne. Hit silver 3 last season yeah I am a total stud

Stranger: Hahaha right??? I play with a few actually and it is toooo funny when we play league with randoms xD

You: bro i can be your support and get mad when i flash+all in and die bc no one else followed up

Stranger: Hontoni omoshiroi

You: or jungle and feed

Stranger: Looo

Stranger: All seriousness

Stranger: I dont main Vayne anymore lol

You: it's been an age man, i played season 3-4

Stranger: I main twitch hit plat this season and also play a bit of top. I would love to play with you though! <3

Stranger: Damnnnnn I started in s5 lol

Stranger: What do you play nowadays?

Stranger: What are your hobbies?

You: my high school was chock full of league peeps man, i just got pulled in around then

Stranger: Same but I have a story about that hH

You: i draw? and for games, I lean pretty heavily into strategy/jrpg

You: i... quit league cause i got to be a picturesque toxic league player >____>

Stranger: I have too much I wanna talk about and I gotta sleep hehe I wont be home till late so talk to you day after? If you have tele you can text me there too uwu

You: oh yeah!! :3 we can trade numbers later!

Stranger: Ooh I would love to see your drawings and being toxic is bad! XP

You: wouldn't want you to die on yr 2 hr drive at 5mi/hr

You: LOL

Stranger: HahH

Stranger: Do you have telegram?

You: i don't! is that like a texting app? o:

Stranger: Mhmm! With loooooots of cute stickers!

You: s...stickers

Stranger: Mostly furries use it but it has cute anime ones too

You: i tried to use line for a while because of the stickers (poptepipic what's gud) but no one else used it qq

Stranger: Yeah! Just download it and I'll teach you!

You: guess it's time to make a fursona!

You: LOL

Stranger: I used line when I lived in Japan haha

You: o: you lived in japan omg

Stranger: Yup guess so! XD everyone has one nowadays! :p

Stranger: Download it and let me know wha TV your @ is and I'll add you!

Stranger: What your* not tv looool

Stranger: I did yeah for a year

You: does it go by name?

You: ... "tams loves catgirls"

Stranger: My tele is @imyourkohai

Stranger: If you go to send a message you can put that in and message me

Stranger: Lol yes that is right hahah

You: haha okay, i should let you get to sleep!!

Stranger: Okay!!!

You: do you have a call time or anything? o:

Stranger: Nini

Stranger: Nah just a meeting all g :3

You: okay!! haha oyasumi~ we'll talk more tmr :3

Stranger: Ouasumiii

Stranger has disconnected.