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birdie-ghost · 5 months ago

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AP chemistry moment

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kalied0skull · 20 days ago

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HEY !

♡ PONYBOY & JOHNNY are wishing you a wonderful pride month, okay ?!!

now playing : The Room Is Filled With People That Love You — Foresight ♪

happy pride everynyan! this drawing was made in celebration and my participation of the outsiders 2025 gift exchange ( @outsiders-gift-exchanges ) ; my wonderful giftee was @what-do-i-put44 !

prompt was disabled ponyboy & johnny at pride, and i did my best to make just that !!!

RAHHHH I LOVE THEM SO DEARLY !!!

#this was SO fun to color might i just say ; absolute delight #it was so fun trying out a wheelchair drawing! first time ever properly doing one of those. I'm quite content with the turn out :D #i like to imagine this is an AU where everyone lives ; and ponyboy's the one who got caught in the church #left him paralyzed leg down ... it was really fun to conceptualize #what can i say — I'm a sucker for that grown out bleached hair ponyboy look ;D #hehehehe #happy pride month !#the outsiders 2025 pride month gift exchange #the outsiders #the outsiders fanart #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #qprpbj #if you notice parts of the wheelchair missing ... no you don't... /silly (shame on me for deleting my ref photo early 💀)

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likesdoodling · 2 months ago

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Look guys! It's Menolly! (and Beauty) :D:D:D Been re-reading some Anne McCaffrey books. Dragonsong was the first Pern related book I read (wasn't allowed to read the 'grownup' ones till I was 15), and since my other favourite book at the was 'My side of the mountain' (running away from home and living in the forest kinda thing), Dragonsong had me hooked. But it's been a while so coming back to it after a few years was pretty cool.

#menolly #dragonriders of pern #never posted anything for this fandom before #honestly didn't really understand the concept of 'fandom' when first read them anyway #but now that I am on tumblr....#>:D #I have probably read dragonsong and dragonsinger like... ten times each..#like.#I had to force myself to stop re-reading it before I started to outright memorise stuff by accident #ye #still love the books #even if it only takes about a day to get through one #kinda forgot how short they are #or maybe I'm just getting used to reading absurd amounts of fanfic really fast #and this is just translating that to irl #anne mccaffrey #gotta look up this fandom after this~#completely didn't clock that was like. a thing. that I could do #till I was typing the tags #and 'dragonriders of pern' came up. as a proper tag and all #I've still got a full on comic strip story of dragonsong #from when I was like. 14?#probably the first fanart that I ever did now that I think about it..#eh. nah #lotr or the hobbit was probably first actually #wow. its been like. nearly eight years since then... huh.#time flies I guess #:D

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littleoddwriter · 5 months ago

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I haven't really seen anyobody talk about this here-

Caracalla lost everybody close to him (father figure and twin brother) on the same day, both technically by his own doing, but doesn't even remember half of that anyway, and is now desperate to keep at least one person around, still. he might not even remember his own screaming voice demanding her crucifixion due to her betrayal. and if he does, he clearly wants to take it back and keep her alive and around him. in terms of human companions, she's all he has left. except for Macrinus, of course, but he's still new and another father figure, unable to fill that gaping hole Caracalla's real mother has presumably left and Lucilla is going to leave if she dies. but since Macrinus has the emperor wrapped around his little finger already, just a few words from him convinced Caracalla that this was, in fact, necessary and the only way; thus, sealing Lucilla's fate.

it's devastating to me...

#ofc this has even more impact with the deleted scenes (and generally when you've read the script too) like ouchie #image description in alt #emperor caracalla #fred hechinger #macrinus #denzel washington #idk i was taking some screenshots and this suddenly struck me because i genuinely didn't realise this until now #(like... generally. i didn't even realise he ever asked this like??? huh??? i watched this scene at least 5 times already wdym)#listen y'all... i have sooo many thoughts about the twins but for the past two months i've been unable to put them into coherent sentences #all that gets out is constant screaming or my half-baked analytical takes like that i---#i hate it ngl and my o*c*d got a lot fucking worse in these past two months as well which makes posting my own stuff incredibly difficult #but alas here i am trying anyway #also i check the caracalla tag (among others) multiple times a day since December 3rd and i did go through the entiiire thing then #so if somebody has mentioned this before i must have forgotten or overlooked it OR i blocked that person and thus never saw it #(went on a whole blocking spree in the first couple of weeks lmfao)#gladiator ii #gladiator 2

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artshokad2 · 18 hours ago

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The unthinkable happened right when i was going to join in wip Wednesday unprompted @twodiamondhoes tagged me in it

I was going to do something a little more recent but the day snuck up on me so have a really old snippet from a fic i may or may not finish that i wrote in a haze of finals stress while listening to “Sleeping in the Kitchen” by Madilyn Mei on loop

Jimmy Solidarity my beloved

Its a little out of my usual style because music possesses me in a way thats a little concerning sometimes but i had fun with it!

Tagging @gladumfdoodles who i know always has a snippet locked and loaded, @raffi-cat who should share their writing more in my humble opinion, @sincerely-nines because my favorite moot you should write fanfic… if you want…

and my friend ani whose tumblr @ is not working rn so im just going to send this to them but they should share their writing on tumblr!!! Its so fun!!

(No pressure to anyone, tis supposed to be for fun :D)

#i need you to know ive been jumping up and down and spinning in circles ever since i noticed the tag #first time posting writing on tumblr after over a year of writing fic how we feeling #I personally am terrified #my brain keeps going WHAT IF YOU GOT TOO SILLY WITH THE SNIPPET WHAT IF THEY HATE IT #when i know logically no one will hate it #also its funny how kit was like ive heard about your wips i wanna know more :D #and then i drop another completely unrelated never before seen wip on everyone #sorry gang #i have too many wips #if anyone wants to know about anything specific. yknow. you can ask me. i encourage asks. very much. talk to me please.#i love yapping i just dont get an excuse to often #now about the snippet itself #i feel like people forget how jimmy survived for a while in last life while only getting rolled two lives #and not making alliances solely based on how many lives he could get out of it (COUGH COUGH. SCOTT.)#and then how he was immediately put to yellow life in double life #he just starts out the race two seasons in a row getting shot in the foot by the universe for reasons wholly out of his control #and then the emotional weight that could come with that #anyways i think about that a lot #fic:sleeping in the kitchen #jimmy solidarity #team rancher #solidaritek #cause thats what the fic is. what else were you expecting from me.#ash writes #trafficblr #last life #double life #wip wednesday #also sorry to my other moots nines hs been my fan since all the way back when i was posting stupid doodles a year ago #theyre always going to be my favorite

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vargaslovinghours · 2 months ago

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Say it like you mean it

#💟#Digital art #Full Art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #Guess what day it is ♥ That's riiiight! It's my own personal Vargasversary here again! :D #I really got it in under the wire with this one lol but I did it! I did do it! 13 whole digital start-to-finish panels.....woaw......#Definitely the biggest of these anniversary projects thus far hehe <3 But I really wanted to see if I could do it and I did it! I'm happy :D #Inspired by many on this one ahh - the obvious being they ♥ As ever I still hold them so dearly love them so much <3 #The second inspiration source is probably also obvious lol but I've been using a newer-to-me technique to sketch to try and speed up drawing #Specifically inspired from watching Zarla's Handplates speeddraw videos! I'm still a little shaky with it haha #I fell back into my old habits more than once :P But now I understand what over-rendering a sketch means lol - knowledge!#And all-told I think this is probably the longest digital comic I've made in uhhhhhh - at least years #I don't wanna say ever because it still is only 13 panels and two of those share a frame haha but like! That's still a lot for me these days #So I'm pleased for being able to make it in short order! It was fun! I had a good time with it! :D And I think it turned out nice!!#And then the last inspiration source this time around was smol hehe ♪ Despite us both being grown I still tuck her in #It's just something neither of us grew out of haha - it's nice! Another point in us being very Sans and Papyrus lol #But I wanted to give it to the Vargases this time because - eee - smol's turning the age I was when I first read Vargas this year #Obviously my family knows about Vargas as I Will Not Shut Up About It lol but I'm still the only one to have read it #Partially because of how intense and scary it can be! As much as I love it I recognize it's not for everyone - as much as I wish it was haha #But smol and I have pretty similar tastes when it comes to media - so I'm finally inviting her to read it with me ♪ Ahh ♫#Getting to share one of my very favourite stories with one of my very favourite people is exciting just to think about!!#And also getting to reread Vargas again hhhhhh I'm feeling Fine and Normal about approaching it again hahahh #Definitely haven't been thinking about and wanting to reread it A Lot Constantly lol #So drawing them again was nice <3 And the new* medium made certain details stand out all the more!#The process of discovery of art as it appears on the screen haha - Scriabin's hand reaching for Edgar only to clench upon his rejection ahh #That last one is also something of a stealth redraw of Scriabin listening to Edgar's heart in mainfic that I made - somehow four years ago??#Nearly five now....more than half of the way back from my having read it the first time ah how'd it get to be so long now...#Every year - every month - every week - every day - every hour - it is Vargas Loving Hours ♥

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orcelito · 1 month ago

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guess who got STRAIGHT A'S FOR THEIR FINAL SEMESTERRRRRRRRRRRR

4.0 GPA FOR THE SEMESTER, BABYYYYYYYYYYY

this raised my overall GPA to a 3.12. which it's a little sad that i'd been struggling so much prior to this past year (from unmedicated adhd & having to work a fucking job while in school) bc i probably Could have had a really high overall GPA. this past year proved that i *can* be a good college student. but Oh Well. i can be proud of what i've accomplished in this past year at least. and i can be proud of going from academic probation a year ago to getting straight A's in my final semester of college. and managing to raise my GPA up to a 3.12. still an accomplishment!!!

#speculation nation #i got on academic probation bc i did just a Godawful job on my last semester prior to this school year #which was. spring 2023. my focus just fucking tanked Completely (due to me getting absolutely Slammed with my 3gun hyperfixation)#i only passed those classes on a technicality. aka i got like. barely a C in one i think? and a D in the other.#which normally isn't good enough to count but since it wasnt a prerequisite for anything my advisor was oh so niceys to me #and made an exception. so it did count for my degree after all.#but bc i did So fucking bad they were just like 'we gotta watch u' and there i remained until i went back to school last year.#bc i took a year off due to grief w/e lol. did some soul searching. came into some money. got on adhd meds. turned my life around.#and now i am boasting a fuckin 4.0 GPA for my final semester. WAHOO!!!!!!!#feels so nice. only the second time ive. ever? gotten straight A's. i think.#i got them one semester of my junior year of high school bc i got motivated by the studying in p4 lol #couldnt keep it up. it fuckin wrecked me. went back to my normal As and Bs for the remainder of high school #BUT it was the perfect time to have Gotten straight As. bc it probably helped me get accepted into college lol #and NOW..... OVER 10 YEARS LATER.......... i have gotten straight As for the first time in college. WAHOOOOOOOO #college is just another fuckin kind of beast. good god. i had to nearly break my back to keep up with this #helped that i only had 3 classes of actual schoolwork too. tho orchestra and bowling certainly kept me busy lol #still. gonna just bask in this for a bit. i am very very proud.

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majormeilani · 3 months ago

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matching each other's freak or something

ref:

#transformers #transformers one #orion pax #d-16 #maccadams #my artwork #forgive me for how rough this is it's like the first time i ever tried to draw them and i gots a lil lazy #dpax #???#sorry ahit followers i prommy i haven't forgotten the things i needs to draw #i had to do this however

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renirae · 5 months ago

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illustration for chapter 10 of A Stitch In Time (and yeah, this is somehow my first actual full illustration for this fic?? tbf I had art block for. quite a while. definitely expect more illustrations for this fic in the future though! ^^)

anyways... Michael Shelley is finally here!!!!! I'm so stoked omg you wouldn't believe :DDD I have so many plans for him... (and they definitely totally don't include me endlessly traumatizing him lmao)

#lowkey wish I had made Michael's hair longer... I referenced a wiki page that says his hair is to his shoulders #but I realized later I don't think it ever actually says that in canon??#Sasha just describes it as “long”#maybe I'm missing something but idk where that page got that description from #anyways whatever I'll just have him grow it out as the story progresses :D #my art #fanfic fanart #a stitch in time #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #michael shelley #tma #tma fanart #the magnus archives fanart #kid jonathan sims #jon sims #jonathan sims fanart #michael shelley fanart #also I know lighthouses are kind of lonely and vast too but it was the first corporate-enough painting I could think of #that could also be Eye-related #(this scene is in The Magnus Institute btw)#edit: drawing changed 22/01/2024 because I realized I forgot an entire shading layer lmao

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bilberry-jam · 1 year ago

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Here's a little comic based off of @teatitty idea of "[Geralt & Dandelion] both looking wet and pathetic after getting caught in a sudden downpour and bickering over whose fault it is"

I like to imagine this is set within the first few years of them travelling together when they're still learning each others boundaries and what not.

#the witcher books #dandelion #geralt of rivia #gerlion #the Witcher #my art #this almost turned incredibly angsty and I really had to reel it back in #also! the ending is a reference to my first ever posted gerlion art 'a moment of respite' :D #the entire time I was making this I was thinking about when I got caught in a flash flood in my bard outfit #I had to sprint to the banquet hall- lyre clutched to my chest out of fear it would get water damaged #let me tell you- a doublet and leggings are sensory hell when soaked

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sysig · 7 months ago

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Coming in to play! (Patreon)

#Doodles #Webkinz #Webkinz hours! The cute lads have wedged their way back to the forefront of my mind haha #I'm honestly really glad I kept all my Webkinz plush over time and they've survived all the moves and whatnot #Some are still missing - most notably my horses for some reason - but I have the rest onhand and they're still cute and soft and I love them #Getting the opportunity to name and play with them as a young'un made them stick quite strongly in my mind ♪#And I still find some of my design sensibilities with their roots in the gameplay/game design/UI design/interactivity #I think it inspired some of my Video Game Design brain which is an aspect of myself I'm quite happy with :D #And I /love/ plushies probably now more than ever <3 So I'm doubly glad younger me didn't get rid of them haha #Got my lineup that featured in Tala's Requestober this year ♥ I left out a couple for what are probably obvious reasons ahem ahem #If you haven't seen what the Official design of the clownfish is in Webkinz... The plushy is arguably worse lol why that one of all of them #Hire me to design Webkinz fish I dare you #There are actually several cute fish - and several ugly ones! Lol I don't know why they're so inconsistent #It's not like the differences between Signature and Classic! Most of the fish are Classic or eStore! I don't know what gives lol #Anyway lol the other one I left out was my Night Mare since I couldn't remember his name either - which is a shame! I liked him #I still have some fairly clear memories of playing Webkinz with those lads <3 Of the different rooms and relationships and games #It's nostalgic! It's nice to reminisce on something so cheery and cute and light and fluffy :)#As for the rest hehe - I tend to pick up 'kinz whenever I find them at secondhand shops and the like - much like Lalaloopsies #They're out of production! Harder to find - rare and valuable haha totally #I haven't found any New With Tags so far but I'm on the hunt still!! Someday it'll be my turn...#But I Have found some really adorable fellows for cents on the dollar haha <3 Two Blue Whales and a Sheep and Duck!! So cute #My latest find was a Lil'kinz Lioness Cub and she is - So tiny <3 Really adorably constructed with a fluffy nose ahhh ♪#The Long Eared Bunny is my current Free 'kinz! I unfortunately lost the account with Baaby so I had to start over again but that's alright #This time I've got Embroidery and she's in a closet cosplay of Edgar haha - black-and-grey striped shirt with dark pants and round glasses #And angel wings! I was able to snag those from the Ganz website and they're perfect honestly haha ♥ She won an Open Beauty Pageant with it!#Couple of her with Sugar - my first Webkinz I got to play with since Diamond's tag was thrown away :') Sugar's my oldest 'kinz <3 #And of her with smol's Free 'kinz since I convinced her to play with me off and on haha - her Leonberger named Borgus :D #And then one final one of what I'd really like - a Webkinz Spider ;;♥ I /know/ they've made spider objects that are really cute!#And April Fools' fake pets of a spider!! Give me the fluffy spider please Ganz even if there's no plushie I just need to pet the spider

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oraclebubbles · 8 days ago

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………. I had a different post I wanted to make on this account soon, it was actually something positive lol.

but I need to rant again.

this really is just where I’m gonna go when I have something dumb to say or run into pf content I guess???

#I joined the pf discord specifically because I thought it would be a way to keep up with x/v/i WITHOUT having to see certain characters/ship #the FIRST thing I saw when I opened the app was him…#Like seriously…….?#The Lord is testing me #Just recently a few people were talking about their struggles with that character/ship (since the lore book has d’s va in it…)#I thought it was kinda a silent rule to not really mention anything to do with that for the sake of keeping things comfortable for everyone #I mean… sure it was posted in the proper channel but still #usually only clive cid or jill content end up in there #I thought I was free but apparently I am not!!!!!!!!!!#Uuuhghhhhhhhhggghhh #like could we NOT do that???#no one usually brings him up let alone ever posts links to fanart of him…….#can we PLEASE not start now???#I don’t talk in there so it feels weird to finally speak just to say “Excuse me but could you NOT fucking post shit like that??? Ever?”#I was actually thinking about talking this week because I got a nice pf merch haul recently but I think I’ll just post it here or bluesky #damn… no where is safe!!!#I’m almost more angry that I even am annoyed by this rather than seeing it in general #Like… can I fucking grow a pair???#But at the same time it’s just so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Everyone’s entitled to like/post whatever they want and all that jazz… I get it #wish there was a way to turn off notifications for certain channels or to mute words on discord #I think I’ll just leave my sister to check the discord from now on and not check it myself for a while #sorry this is all so negative… but at the same time… this is my blog. I think I’m entitled to act like a dumbass here #ro rambles

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beaulesbian · 1 year ago

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i didn't realize he created those glasses out of thin air / his fluffy hair / cloud powers? ✨ it's really cute

*click!!* ✨️✨️

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 1 month ago

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Books of 2025: MINIMIZING MARRIAGE by Elizabeth Brake.

As part of my quest to read aro-adjacent nonfiction, I put in an inter-library loan request for this many moons ago. It's due back today, so naturally I finished it this morning at 12:04AM technically, we'll count that as a win.

The whole book was much more readable than expected, given that its header declares it STUDIES IN FEMINIST PHILOSOPHY--the prose was fine, actually! I don't have the background to speak to the philosophical or feminist framing of her arguments, but her main proposition is that reworking the institution of marriage to one of "minimal marriage" would be good for everyone. She defines minimal marriage as "a legal framework that avoids amatonormativity, supporting caring relationships including 'traditional,' polygamous, and same-sex marriages as well as 'Boston marriages,' friendships, and urban tribes." Basically: take the good parts of marriage (contractual agreements/protections, the social indicator of This Relationship Is Important To Me, forcing state/governmental recognition of chosen relationships, etc.), but divorce (ahaha) them from One Central Sexual/Amorous Relationship (and also from childrearing, because that could be a separate thing) and allow those benefits to be divvied out to an individual's network of care as they see fit. It was interesting!

Now, I didn't actually read this for the marriage angle, I read it for the amatonormativity pieces, so I blitzed through most of the book. Chapter 4, "Special Treatment for Lovers: Marriage, Care, and Amatonormativity," was where I spent most time and took the most notes. (For context: I took 4.5 pages of notes total, and 1.5 of those were on chapter 4.) I probably could've read just that chapter, honestly, and gotten what I wanted from this book--the focus on amatonormativity in this chapter was validating and coherent and well-articulated, which I appreciated as An Aro™ swimming in its mire. Example, from page 89:

Amatonormativity prompts the sacrifice of other relationships to romantic love and marriage and relegates friendship and solitudinousness to cultural invisibility.

Which!! Yeah!! That's it, baby!!!!

Anyway. Glad I finally got my hands on a copy of this, glad to have read it and to absolutely not have saved the relevant pages in digital format, because holy shit is it hard to find physically. A lot to chew on, but not as much as I feared from 206 pages of Philosophy; much more approachable than anticipated, if this is a thing you're interested in, too!

#books #books of 2025 #minimizing marriage #elizabeth brake #amatonormativity #aro #book reviews #book photos #seriously i took SO MANY NOTES on chapter four lol #also i had to try twice to get the interlibrary loan to come in because it got canceled the first time??#and the librarian looked at me like i was nuts for asking but. it really was canceled. so he backpedaled lol #also. i got a copy from kenyon college's library. but even their hardback library copy was printed on demand in 2012????#i'm wondering if oxford ever actually published this book for real or if it's always been On Demand #which. would explain. why it's so expensive and hard to find.#was interesting! liked having access to the bibliography!!#but holy shit allo philosophers are Not Okay #especially not the het men allo philosophers i think #what a dumpsterfire #i have to turn this in this afternoon but it's a glorious day and i'm gonna take a walk about it >:D #oh yeah also: she did use WAY MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS than i was braced for?????#ma'am is that Legal in philosophy??????#the last academic book i read for fun was about architectural obsolescence and that author Certainly Did Not Do That but.#maybe decaying buildings are less fun than rights and justice #idk i don't go here

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frenchy-and-the-sea · 1 month ago

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THIS IS A CALLOUT POST FOR MY DMS @themilokin AND @phoenix-failing FOR HITTING US WITH A SCENARIO SO FUNDAMENTALLY HEARTBREAKING IN ITS IMPLICATIONS THAT WE SPENT THE ENTIRE SESSION ARGUING ABOUT WHAT TO DO AND ALSO LIKE THREE OF US STARTED CRYING. AND THEN, WHEN WE FINALLY MADE OUR DECISION, AND WE HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO A BELOVED NPC THAT HAS BEEN WITH US ALMOST SINCE THE BEGINNING, THEY HIT US WITH A TWIST SO GRACIOUS AND UNEXPECTED THAT WE STARTED THREATENING THEM WITH PHYSICAL VIOLENCE (EXTREMELY AFFECTIONATE)

HOLY SHIT, WHAT A GAME.

#hush frenchy #fortune's favor #d&d #you don't GET IT you don't UNDERSTAND #we got handed a decision that decided the fate of alllll of the dragons we've been working so hard to help #it would have returned their souls to the gods that split apart and became them #the gods would exist again in their fullness for the first time in an age #but the dragons. our friends. they'd be gone #and we couldn't even consult them on what was going to happen to see if they'd make that sacrifice #add in the fact that five of these dragons have been chained up and essentially tortured for years #and only JUST got their freedom with our help #and the fact that we've also been working so hard to get these god-beings set to rights #and it was the HARDEST call we've ever had to make!!#val was the tiebreaker too. and did it in large part so that the task wouldn't fall to anyone else #cause we were divided multiple ways #i was genuinely crying at the end #AND THEN! AFTER WE GET TWO SECONDS TO SHARE A GOODBYE WITH OUR BEST DRAGON BUDDY #AND THEY SHARE A BITTERSWEET GOODBYE WITH US WHERE THEY IMPARTED TO US THAT THEY WERE HAPPY TO HAVE MET US #WE HAD TO WATCH EVERY BODY FALL. WATCHED THEM ALL COLLAPSE #AND FUCKING /THEN/!!! THEY WOKE UP AGAIN!!!#SEE WE HAVE PREVIOUSLY SEPARATED A GOD-BEING FROM A MORTAL PERSON. THEY WERE STILL ALIVE AFTER THE PROCESS. /WE HAD FORGOTTEN/!!!!#WE ARE STUPID BUT AT LEAST EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND CAN LIVE THIS ONE LAST LIFE TOGETHER AND MAN I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN #FUCK. NO ONE LOOK AT ME #anyway i can't believe how much i love my dms and my fellow players. eight years. god. they're everything to me

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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago

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OH MY GDD I FORGOT TO TELL YALL MY WIFE CAME HOME YESTERDAY AND JUST. WOOP. PICKED ME UP LIKE NOTHING. AND THEN DID IT AGAIN LIKE 20 MINUTES LATER AGAIN LIKE NOTHING.

#bunny rambles #she is so strong 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#and admittedly ik she's been able to do this for a while cus she can throw me & ppl larger than me around in sex easy #but also like!!! i get so easily spooked when people touch my sides/waist/wrap their arms around me and my default response is to usually #throw myself on the floor but between the grief and sick and all i just. relaxed into her touch #this is a big deal for meeee i rarely let people touch me in ways where i can be manipulated physicallyyyyyy bc i so nervyyyy #yes this is why i like cnc so much. frankly cnc is like... my favorite bc i want sex often but im actually really bad at receiving touch and #cnc (whether it be intox or rape/molest play or somno etc etc) is a form of play that makes sex a lot easier bc my little white dog can have #its little freak outs without us having to Stop Completely. and i love that there is kink/play forms that allow me to be my flawed little #self and NOT feel like im letting whoever im with down bc. they're into it.#the relationship between my trauma and kink is i do kink play in Spite of my trauma btw. i fawned mostly with the experiences growing up so #being allowed to fight back is really nice. g-d i love my wife so much. when we met we started as fwb and she heard me out when i was like #hey look I'm real into u and im very carnally attracted to you and also if we take it any further with you touching me (she ate me out in #the backseat of her car our first hang out 😵‍💫 never let anyone do that b4 her) im gonna cry and she was like “okay! thats okay!” and we #got to have beautiful sex and i got to pleasure her and then we sat together and she let me just cry it out (bc its not something i can #control. its not me its the kid) & it turns out if im given the space to cry a couple times in vanilla settings when adjusting to new touch #I'll not only Stop but become a beloved sex pet. also this is why i say im rarely seeking and dont like pickup play as much bc i am forced #to only top in most circumstances which is fun and all but i do desire being touched also yk? and shes the only person whos ever really been #THIS patient with me. and it makes me happy that i was finally able to explore and embrace #my sexuality and desires and sexy fears and like. yeah. idk. big ramble of many topics < 3

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