#the fool: mainline

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

There is a divide, you think, between support and action.

It has been many months since you last felt the call, since you felt the familiar tug of need, of purpose. For better or worse, at least on the level you operate on, the World-Spirit has seen fit not to draft you once more into service more directly, leaving you to simply, be.

For the first several weeks, you embraced it, appreciated it, accepted it for the opportunity it was to recover, refresh, restore yourself.

...in the many weeks since, that appreciation has quickly, if quietly, tapered off.

Your familiar, your friend, your eternal minder waddles in, and with a soft smile that only reaches your lips you kneel down to pat his furry little head and tell the dog you did not forget. He huffs and stares back, and even if you two were not bound as deeply as you are you would be incapable of misreading the bitterly familiar combination of sass and worry in the Valhund's gaze as he shakes his head and wanders off.

Your mind once again wanders, wondering when next your instincts would drive you to seek out someone, something, the next task for yourself to approach and catalyze into something new, better, or at least different.

Amusing, you reflect, that for all my work, it most often feels as though it defines you more than you define it - that you are being shaped into a role more than a role is being made for you...

You wonder if you ought to be more worried about that.

No matter, you attempt to reassure yourself, At least in this I am still needed.

Standing up slowly, you try to remember where last you left the poor dog's leash. Just because he does not need it, does not mean its presence does not help reinforce the exercise, or reassure him of the surety of his enrichment.

[sonknuxadow]

its kinda wild still seeing people insist sonic 06 isnt canon or doesnt matter even after sonic x shadow generations. i feel like people have to just be brushing it off as not canon because they dont like it or something

[cinematicbookworm]

I meant to put time aside to read write and draw last week but Unfortunately the new monster hunter game ended up taking up a lot more of my time than i intended and I ended up only reading enough to finish a book that a friend loaned me and didn’t write or draw at all

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

The manic grin was now accompanied by manic giggling - a sound far more sophomoric than one usually expected to hear from the redhead, even as his airways were restricted, his face turned ever so slightly red, and the prodigal amount of force behind the lunge was enough for even him to start tipping back, falling off-balance like a felled sequoia.

...clearly he felt this was a 'win', even with her trying to strangle him with her thighs... though even as he fell with a massive thud to the floor with her straddling his neck like an enraged kiwi badger, it was perhaps confusing for the average onlooker to tell if it was the verbal victory or the leg-lock itself that was causing him to flush and not attempt to wrestle in kind.

She was silent for a moment, the meaning in his words not registering. But when the realization hit, she didn't have the 'clever comeback' that Hriob had suggested.

"¡Te mostraré lucha o huida, Pendejo!" She cried, launching herself at him, getting her thighs around his neck and knocking him to the floor.

[starsapphire]

ultimate post-flashpoint dc comics rec list

if you read anything, read from this list! i've read thousands of comics so you know i've done my research. trust me when i say these are the essentials and must-reads, okay? note that this list includes series and runs, but not individual arcs.

geoff johns' green lantern saga (2004–2013) — this run redefined green lantern comics in the cleverest, most fantastic way, all while staying incredibly faithful to canon!!! as you can probably tell from my url, i'm pretty solidly of the opinion that his creation of the star sapphire corps is one of the best moves in modern comics.

the flash: the fastest man alive (2006) — possibly the most important flash run of the post-crisis era. it has great writing, beautiful romance, and sooo much tragedy. the series that brought back wally west!

grant morrison's batman saga (2008–2013) — some people hate it, some people love it... ultimately a groundbreaking iconic work that has essentially defined batman comics. it was — and still is — notable for centering female and nonwhite characters, which had never really been done before in comics.

red hood and the outlaws (2011) — this series (and the 2016 second volume) is hands down one of the best to come from the new 52 era. i've never known anyone who read this and didn't enthusiastically liveblog it.

justice league: elite (2004) — this limited series, which spun out from joe kelly's landmark superman run, features an amazing cast of characters that includes manchester black, oliver queen, and maybe even cassandra cain (🤫). fantastic writing.

tom taylor's run on nightwing (2016) (#78–118) — possibly one of dc's most popular runs. this is probably the one you saw those screenshots from on twitter. and for good reason. so faithful to canon and SO many feels ❤️

dark crisis: young justice (2019) — the long awaited reunion of young justice!!! brought back conner kent in the best way and is just genuinely so fun to read. the writing and attention to canon are both impeccable.

batman: wayne family adventures — some people will argue that this isn't a "real" comic, but if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck... 🤷‍♀️ really fun, clever, and honestly adorable; i'd almost describe this webtoon as a love letter to dc canon. mainline dc editorial needs to take notes so bad.

final crisis (2008) — the MOST important, groundbreaking event since crisis on infinite earths. just so incredibly clever and memorable. no lie, final crisis made such an impression on me that i still see it in my dreams.

i know comics can be so confusing (trust me. i Know.) but hopefully this little reclist helps anyone who needs it ❤️❤️❤️

please remember that this list is by no means exhaustive! if you want any more recs please shoot me an ask. i love recommending fantastic runs like these ones!!! now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to reread war games 🤭

EDIT: PLEASE GOD THIS IS AN APRIL FOOL'S POST

[betweenstorms]

Chapter 5/2 of Skin Of Thunder Where Butterflies Go to Die (previous chapter) (next chapter) (all SOT chapters) (masterlist) Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

“In the corner of the universe, where butterflies go to die, there is no farewell, no final flutter, just the slow, quiet decay of something too soft for this harsh world.”

They say war makes strange bedfellows—

—and Ghost had encountered his share of hard men.

Grizzled bastards with twitching trigger fingers, the kind who chewed nails for breakfast and pissed adrenaline by midday. He’d stood alongside monsters and martyrs, saints and absolute lunatics, but nothing—nothing—had steeled him for this particular torment.

Sharing an office.

With you.

It was beyond a piss-take. Beyond cruel.

It was damn near biblical in its irony, the universe folding in on itself just to spit in his bloody eye one last time. Ghost had never been one to suffer fools gladly. And Price knew it. Laswell knew it. Hell, even Johnny knew it, though the Scotsman seemed to take particular delight in testing his limits.

But this—this fucking arrangement was beyond the pale. It felt like he’d been assigned penance for sins he couldn't remember committing, stuck in some goddamn infernal loop designed specifically to break whatever brittle patience he had left.

And Price? Oh, that bastard had acted like it was all standard procedure, like it was the most natural thing in the world to toss a civvie into Ghost’s office, like it didn’t crack open every fault line running through him.

“She’s gotta be on a secure system now, needin’ constant supervision,” Price had explained, casual as you like. “Intel’s sensitive. Laswell sorted the clearance, but she needs access to the same internal threads we do. And your setup’s already logged into the mainline.” Then he’d added, like it was the final fucking insult, “You'll be in and out anyway, so it's ideal.”

Ideal.

Right.

“And that's my bloody job now, is it? Babysittin’?”

Then, to rub salt straight into the wound, Laswell had chimed in with that thin-lipped smile of hers, cool and precise. “She can use a second terminal in your office. It’s secure, and you’re already on standby, Lieutenant. Consider it insurance.”

Insurance.

More like a goddamn collar.

Ghost had felt his blood simmer beneath the surface of his inked skin, boiling quiet like tar. He didn’t argue—not then, not in front of them all. He wasn’t about to throw a tantrum in the briefing room like some bloody schoolboy. However, the worst part wasn't the supervision or the babysitting or whatever the hell they wanted to call it. No, the worst part was how you'd looked at Price when he'd broken the news, your lovely eyes widening for just a fraction of a second, discomfort flickering briefly before you wrestled them back into submission.

But Ghost saw. He always saw.

“Captain,” you'd said, carefully avoiding Ghost's gaze as though even looking at him might burn you. “I…I’d rather not. For the sake of—” your voice wavered slightly, only noticeable to Ghost because he'd memorized its quiet cadence “—for efficiency. I’ll work wherever is necessary but… I mean, perhaps there’s another option?”

Christ, you'd twisted that knife nicely.

You’d said it clean, professional, stripped of anything sentimental—but Ghost heard it. Every syllable, every crack in your voice that you thought you’d hidden. You didn’t want to be near him. And it wasn’t just the awkwardness, was it? No, there was something deeper, something raw, something personal. He wasn’t proud of the prick he’d been in recent days, cold, distant and dismissive, but to hear it from your pretty lips, like you were confirming what he already feared, it made something in him bristle. Snap.

Perhaps you didn’t feel safe with him.

And that?

That tore through him like fire to bone.

Soap watched the two of you curiously, blue eyes darting between you like he was waiting for one of you to crack under the heavy, suffocating silence. Gaz, ever the gentleman, cleared his throat, pretending to find sudden fascination in Laswell’s briefing notes projected on the wall—dry as dust intel summaries he’d read a dozen times already. Bloody saints, both of them, though even their patience was wearing thin.

Ghost felt a slow, familiar pulse behind his eyes, the onset of a headache that had nothing to do with fatigue and everything to do with frustration.

Price had simply looked between you both like he was watching two starving dogs refuse to touch food from the same bowl, unimpressed and annoyed. His blue eyes flicked from you to Ghost and back again. To you. You, you, you. Then he sighed. Rubbed a hand over his beard like he was already exhausted by the whole thing.

“We need every crumb of information to stay ahead,” he said at last, quiet but firm. “And that means she stays. End of. Understood?”

And just like that, Ghost’s personal hell was no longer hypothetical.

It was tangible.

Seated at a spare desk.

“Computer’s up,” he muttered after you received your new keycard, voice low and clipped. “Credentials’re in the doc. Top right. Don’t fuck with anythin’ outside the brief.”

There was a pause. Then the faintest response.

“…Yeah. Okay.”

The desk had been rearranged the day before.

He’d done it himself. Not out of bloody kindness—don’t get it twisted, alright?—but because he wanted it done his way. Wanted the extra computer set up without some sprog fucking up his cable management or scratching the floor. He’d moved the filing cabinet to the corner. Shifted the printer so you wouldn’t bump into it. Cleared shelf space without a word. Brought in a chair from supply.

Then he hadn’t spoken to you directly.

Not properly, anyway.

Not the kind of talking that meant something. Oh, there’d been clipped exchanges about access codes, network redundancies, a few low grunts that barely counted as acknowledgement when you handed him requisition reports, but nothing more. You didn’t speak unless you had to, and even then, it was filtered through that hesitant, professional tone that made his skin itch. The sort of voice someone used with a wounded animal, unsure if it would lash out or die right in front of them. The air between you had grown thick, congealed with everything unsaid—an atmosphere heavy with blame, silence, and that awful brittle tension he couldn't name without wanting to break something.

He’d avoided the office for as long as possible. Made excuses. Took longer shifts in the yard, cleaned weapons that didn’t need cleaning, spent hours going over briefings that could’ve been skimmed in five minutes flat. But eventually, he had to return and had to face the quiet storm waiting behind that reinforced door.

You didn’t look at him.

You never fucking looked at him anymore.

You’d mastered the art of avoidance with lethal precision, eyes fixed on your monitor, hands always busy, nails tapping away at your keyboard, flipping through secure files, highlighting shit that didn’t even matter just to avoid acknowledging his existence.

And Ghost? He was haunted.

Not by you, precisely—but by everything you made him feel.

You weren’t particularly loud. You didn’t argue. Didn’t press for conversation or prod him for answers. But that silence? That deliberate, careful stillness of yours? It was a fucking mirror, and Ghost hated what he saw in it. He didn’t know which part of this arrangement was worse, your physical presence only feet away from him, or the gaping emotional absence you carved out with every moment you refused to meet his eye.

The desk they’d shoved in for you sat awkwardly opposite his. It didn’t belong there, like a daffodil in a field of fucking ash. You brought shitty little things to make it yours, ridiculous things that only made his teeth grind. A crooked pen holder. A mug with some cartoon dog printed on it, Sip Happens written on the side. A half-dead orchid that tilted dramatically to one side, clinging to life like it shared your anxieties. You set a framed photo beside your monitor, face turned away from him, but he knew it was family. The ones you’d walked away from for this job. The ones you probably thought about when you got that look in your eyes like you were far away—

—too far for him to reach.

And the smell.

Fucking hell, the smell of you.

You had started wearing a new perfume.

A soft vanilla fragrance that clung to the air long after you were gone, sweet like gingerbread and warm like cinnamon. It was maddening, in the way it lingered on the fibres of his coat, slipping past the edges of his mask, invading his every fucking breath. God, each inhale was a reminder—of your proximity, of the softness that he couldn’t escape, of everything he had sworn to deny himself.

He hated it.

He hated how it made him think of your throat, your collarbones, your pulse—a delicate thing that beat wildly whenever he got too close. He could hear it. He could fucking hear it some days, like your body knew before you did that he wasn’t safe to be around.

And maybe he wasn’t.

Maybe that was the worst of it. Maybe you were right to flinch.

The second terminal clicked to life at exactly oh-seven-thirty every morning, your fingers dancing softly over the keys, your files already open, your stupid bloody bubblemint gum chewing in rhythm with the tap-tap-tap of your work. He hated that too. Despised the smell, loathed the sound, disliked how it stuck to the roof of his mind long after you’d gone.

A sickly-sweet echo in a sterile grave.

Worse still were the colours. Jesus Christ, the colours.

One day it was a burnt orange jumper with some wild pattern like shattered glass, the next, a seafoam green blouse that floated when you moved, sleeves far too soft for the hard edges of a military base. Once, you’d left your coat draped over the back of your chair. It was yellow. Canary-fucking-yellow. He stared at it for ten minutes straight before grabbing it with two fingers like it might burn him and chucking it onto the spare hook behind the door.

He didn’t say a word about it. Didn’t need to. Who the fuck wore shit like this to a secure military base? You did.

And somehow, no one said a word.

They all liked you, the poor bastards.

And him? Ghost couldn’t so much as look at you without his chest tightening like a fucking vice. That’s because you only smiled at them. You tried, even when it wasn’t easy. Even when your eyes looked like they were swallowing something bitter, you still offered those small, childish grins to Soap and Gaz, thanked Price with a polite nod and a soft smile, left little notes attached to requests that read, Cheers, much appreciated! :)—always a fucking smiley face that nearly drove Ghost off the edge.

And then came the jumper.

It was late afternoon. The rain hadn’t stopped all day, a cold, insistent drizzle that blurred the outlines of the military base. Fog hung low, thick enough to smother the huge fence line. The concrete courtyard shimmered like oilskin, puddles reflecting the dull overhead lights. Ghost had been delaying his return to the office, circling the armory like a buzzard, pretending to be needed elsewhere. But eventually, paperwork caught up with him. Somehow, it always did. It was nearly seventeen-hundred when he trudged into the small admin wing, water trailing off his shoulders, balaclava damp beneath the collar of his jacket.

He stopped dead in the doorway.

It was the jumper.

Pink.

Soft as sin.

Not just pink—pastel. Fucking marshmallow pink, with baby blue butterflies fluttering across the material. The knit was soft, oversized, sleeves nearly swallowing your hands. And to top it all off, like some cherry dropped on a maddening sundae, you’d tied your hair up with a satin ribbon. A bow. Baby pink, matching the jumper.

He stared.

Longer than he should have.

You didn’t look up, busy typing, your brow furrowed in concentration as your fingers danced across the keys, glossy lips pursed as you stared ahead. You were focused, efficient, barely even chewing your gum today. Probably had no idea the sight of you had just disarmed him completely. He stood there like a twat in the doorway—drenched, dripping, jaw clenched behind the mask.

Bloody hell.

He'd been shot at in better company.

Ghost stepped inside, boots thudding against the floor, shoulders soaked. He set his jacket on the back of his chair with deliberate slowness, every movement precise. He tried to pretend it didn’t bother him. That the knot in his stomach was something else. That his throat hadn’t gone dry. That his first thought hadn’t been how the fuck are you real?

Instead, he said nothing. Sat at his desk. Logged in.

The silence stretched, taut and unbearable.

And then you spoke.

“I can feel you judging me from here.”

Ghost stripped his hands bare from his wet gloves, each movement methodical, deliberate, like peeling skin off bone. He looked up slowly, water trailing down the curve of his mask, darkening the collar of his grey shirt. Your voice wasn’t sharp, wasn’t even defiant.

If anything, it was dry. Flat.

Meant to cut tension, not draw blood.

His eyes swept over you again.

“You look like a kid’s party threw up on you.”

You glanced up with a quiet sort of weariness, as if you’d already endured worse in the past hour than his barbed humour could throw at you. You just gave a small shrug and went back to typing. There was something almost impressive about that—

—the way you didn’t rise to the bait.

“Better than looking like a drenched funeral,” you murmured, not even looking at him.

Ghost froze.

For a second, the silence between you hovered—surprised, stunned, teetering on the edge of laughter or violence. And then, against all odds, he let out a quiet sound behind the mask. Not quite a laugh. More a huffed breath. Barely there.

Fucking hell.

Were you making jokes now?

Ghost leaned back slowly in his chair, the furniture creaking beneath the weight of him, the soft clatter of rain on the windows crawling through the silence like a dying beast. You didn’t glance up at him again. Didn’t chase his reaction. Maybe it hadn’t even been a joke. Maybe you hadn’t meant to slip humour into your tone at all.

After what felt like an eternity, you exhaled slowly, a soft breath that seemed to release all the tension that had built between you. Then, much to Ghost’s surprise, you lifted your gaze to meet his—like a quiet surrender, something unspoken hanging in the air. You cleared your throat, the sound awkward and fragile, and spoke again.

“You know,” your lovely voice dipped into something almost sheepish, “when I was little, my granny used to sew patches on all my school uniforms. Little animals, stars, stupid stuff. I loved them all. But the butterflies were always my favourite.”

Ghost didn’t know what to do with that.

Didn’t know what to do with the image of you as a girl. Something about it made his ribs feel too tight, like someone had reached inside his chest and squeezed.

He cleared his throat. “Military family, yeah?”

You grimaced. “Unfortunately.”

“Doesn’t show.”

Your lips twitched.

A brief flicker of something crossed your face—wry amusement, maybe—but you smoothed it out before it could settle.

“No one ever says that like it’s a compliment,” you muttered.

Ghost watched you intently, mask still damp, jaw ticking faintly behind the fabric. There was no malice in his voice when he said it. Hadn’t been from the start. But his gruff tone was dry as dust, laced with that thread of disbelief he hadn’t quite managed to cut loose since the first day you’d walked into his life like a ray of fucking sunshine that had taken a wrong turn and ended up buried in concrete. Because Ghost had read your file.

Of course he had, alright?

All neat and clinical, tucked into the system under clearance only Task Force had the teeth to bite through. He’d memorised it in one pass, as he did with most things. Military family. Royal Marine father, Field Medic mother. No siblings. Just you. He didn’t get it. Didn’t know how someone raised by that kind of steel could move through the world like silk. As if you were daring the world not to tear you.

As if you were daring him.

He looked away.

It wasn’t shame, not exactly. Ghost didn’t do shame the way others did. It didn’t roll through him in waves—no, it sat in his gut like an old injury, dull and rotting, a scar so deep it didn’t bleed anymore. But he knew when something cut close to it. You did. You always fucking did. And the worst part was, you didn’t even know it.

You didn’t know what it meant to him, that you were still soft. You didn’t know that every time you breathed beside him, something in him ached with the effort it took to stay distant.

Ghost rubbed at his jaw beneath the mask.

The silence itched, thick and too close again, pulling at the frayed corners of his thoughts. He needed out. Needed something else. Anything else. A shift in the air. A crack in the surface.

Anything to steer this conversation back into safer territory, away from the swell of memory and the way your words made something ache behind his ribs.

He cleared his throat, rough and low, like gravel grinding together in the back of his mouth.

“You always dress like that?”

It was a pathetic deflection. He knew it.

Christ, he’d trained with SAS instructors who were better at subtlety, and they’d screamed orders in his bloody face at two in the morning. But it was something. A crooked bridge out of the mire he’d wandered into. He wasn’t cut out for mindless chatter. It stuck to his skin like blood that wouldn’t wash off.

You glanced at him, the corner of your mouth twitching.

“If I’m going down, might as well go down in pink.”

Ghost huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

“Pink’ll get you shot first.”

You shrugged. “Good. I hate cardio.”

That one hit him square. He turned away quickly, but not quick enough to hide the sound that slipped out—half breath, half scoff. A proper one this time. Almost a laugh. Ghost scrubbed a hand over his face like it might wipe the sound off his lips.

You were catching on, weren’t you?

Something shifted at your desk. He didn’t need to look to know you were glancing at the pen holder again—your absurd lavender one, now facing the wrong bloody direction for the third time this week. He hadn’t meant to move it, not really. He just straightened things when you weren’t around. Couldn’t stand when they sat wrong. Uneven. Off-centre.

You didn’t look up when you spoke again.

“Well,” you said, eyes crinkling, “I suppose I figured someone who sleeps in a mask wouldn’t keep rearranging my pen holder.”

His eyes narrowed.

“You line everything up like you’ve got OCD.”

Ghost grunted. “Just hate mess.”

“I had the pen holder right where I liked it.”

He tilted his head. “It was crooked.”

“It had character.”

“Looked like it was about to fuckin’ fall over.”

You chuckled.

Not loud, not enough to draw attention if someone were passing in the hall, but soft. Warm. Caught between amusement and something gentler, something more dangerous. It clung to the corners of the room, your laughter, like smoke that didn't know whether to rise or sink. It tugged at something inside him.

Something he didn’t want touched.

Ghost didn’t move. Didn’t let the sound show on his face. Mask or no mask, it didn’t matter. But it hit all the fucking same. Somewhere beneath the sternum. Right in the bit of him that still remembered how it felt to be young and too hopeful for his own good.

You were still looking at the pen holder, manicured fingers tapping idly against the desk like a metronome. Steady. Composed.

“You rearranged my orchid too,” you added, eyes still fixed on your stuff on your desk, though your voice had gone somewhere softer now. Less teasing. “Turned it so the dead side faced the window. As if that’ll save it.”

Ghost didn’t deny it.

Didn’t say anything for a long moment.

He just stared up at the stained ceiling tiles like they held answers. But they never did. They were cracked, yellowing at the edges, as if the bones of the building were decaying from the inside out. Bit like him, if he was honest.

“Looked like it were beggin’ for mercy.”

You huffed a quiet breath.

“You could’ve said something.”

Ghost shrugged. “Could say that ‘bout a lot of things, sweetheart.”

That landed heavier than intended.

The humour in the room faltered, dipped. Something about the way you looked at him, steady and unflinching, like you knew. Like you were beginning to understand the parts of him that had never been explained, only endured.

He didn’t like it.

He didn’t like the way you unraveled him, piece by piece, without ever needing to raise your voice. It was as if you were a butterfly, delicate and still, wings fragile but capable of slicing through his defenses with the weight of silence. Fuck, quiet women were dangerous that way, weren’t they? Their stillness was sharp, a blade wrapped in velvet, a soft breath that could break the hardest of hearts. And though he couldn’t explain it, it felt like each silent gaze you gave him was a death sentence he didn’t know how to escape from.

You dropped your gaze again, fiddled with your mouse. You were moving it around like it meant something, cursor flitting back and forth across nothing in particular, as if maybe the right file would save you from the thing you were about to say.

Ghost knew that look

He knew that kind of quiet. He’d seen it in interrogation rooms, seen it on battlefields, seen it in the cracked reflection of his own eyes too many bloody times. That look meant something had taken root in your chest. Something you couldn’t shake.

Something you had to say.

And still, he didn’t stop you.

Didn’t cut in when you finally exhaled through your nose, fingers stilling on the desk—

“About last week…”

—but he fucking should’ve.

Ghost’s spine stiffened.

His shoulders squared. It was like the temperature in the room dropped five degrees flat. That warmth from earlier, the faint and precarious glow you’d both managed to build between the bickering and the bad jokes, snuffed out like a candle under a boot.

He hadn’t expected you to bring it up. Not out loud. Not after you’d gone all stiff and quiet, spent a week hiding behind polite emails and perfunctory nods. He’d hoped you wouldn’t mention it. But you had to say it. Of course you fucking did.

“I, uhm…” you began. “I'm sorry. About the other day. When I… said your name.”

He stilled.

Every muscle. Every breath.

The hum of the office, the patter of rain, the distant clatter of boots down the corridor, all of it dimmed. Like the world paused, listening in.

“I didn’t mean to,” you added, the words tumbling quiet from your lips, “I mean—I know you don’t… like that. I just—”

“Don’t.”

You blinked, lips parted.

“I just thought—”

“You thought wrong.”

Your breath caught. He heard it. Felt it echo through the tiny crack that had started to form between you earlier—your laughter, your ribbon, the butterflies, the pen holder. All of it. 

Gone.

Ghost felt his fingers twitch.

Small. Barely there. A flicker in the tendon running from wrist to knuckle, like a misfire in his wiring. But he felt it. That spark. That itch under the glove he wasn’t wearing, the one that always came just before red bled in—frustration, anger, that sharp blade of discomfort when someone touched too close to bone.

Back to square one.

Christ, why’d you have to bring it up?

You’d spent the whole fucking week dancing around it, walking on the edges of things like the floor might give out. He’d let himself believe, foolishly, that the quiet was enough. But here it was. Resurrected. Like a ghost. His ghost.

His name.

Simon.

You’d said it once. One slip, soft and breathless and far too human, in the haze of that long day, right before everything fell apart. He could still hear it—burned into the inside of his skull. And now here you were again. Dredging it back up like it wasn’t a loaded gun in the middle of the room. Like it wasn’t the one thing he couldn’t afford to hear from your mouth.

He didn’t look at you. Couldn’t.

Because he saw it now—how your gaze shifted, how your voice faltered. You weren’t seeing the man who’d turned your dying plant toward the sun. You weren’t seeing the bastard who rearranged your stupid lavender pen holder. You were seeing the soldier. The mask. The rank. The man who ran from the sun. Who buried himself in shadows and discipline and the cold familiarity of his title. The one who pushed a girl dressed like a bloody flower bouquet away with the precision of a trained killer.

And still—still—you blushed.

Despite everything.

Despite the cold weight of the moment, despite the embarrassment that burned at your words, you flushed like it meant something. Like there was a part of you, even now, that wanted to know him. The man beneath the skull.

“I just…” you started again, voice so damn small he barely heard it over the hum of the monitors. “I just like it better. Your name.”

Ghost didn’t answer.

Not with words.

Instead, he reached for a report folder, hands steady, mask unreadable, spine carved from cold fucking stone. Your words floated in the space between you like fog off the moors, soft and shapeless and clinging to everything it touched. And still he said nothing.

Because what the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

Like it was that simple.

Like it wasn’t a curse. Like it hadn’t been ripped from his throat too many times in pain or grief, twisted into a tool by enemies, abandoned by fellow soldiers, swallowed by fire. His name wasn’t something he cherished. It was a reminder. A marker of a weak boy long dead and buried. A whisper the wind carried on bad nights, when the silence grew teeth and he lay staring at the ceiling wondering who the fuck he was anymore.

And you liked it.

He didn’t breathe for a long second. Just stared down at the folder like it might offer him some lifeline, some foothold, something to grab onto.

But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t.

So he flipped it open, and said, “That all?”

Your chair creaked.

He could feel it. That quiet, wounded gaze of yours.

But you didn’t press it. Didn’t ask again.

You just murmured, “Yeah. That’s all, sir.”

Ghost didn’t lift his head. Couldn’t.

He didn’t watch you reach up and pull the ribbon from your hair. Didn’t let himself see the way it fluttered like a flag laid down. Didn’t let himself think about what it meant.

He needed to end this wretched pendulum swinging between restraint and ruin. He needed to silence the hunger, take the blade of reason to it and split it wide, gut it raw, swallow it down until even the memory of wanting you turned to rotten flesh on his tongue. He couldn’t keep circling the flame, not when it was you who burned. You were never meant to be his—no, you were the worst thing to ever touch his life with grace. The kind of mercy that made men weep. An unbearable blessing and a sweet, agonizing curse, wrapped in the sweetest fucking smile he could never taste.

This was purgatory.

And he’d been stationed here with you, a living reminder of the only thing he couldn’t kill, couldn’t outrun, couldn’t forget.

Butterflies, they said, were delicate things. Pretty. Fragile. But no one ever talked about how hard they were to catch once they’d taken flight.

And Ghost?

Ghost never chased after things meant to fly away.

Not anymore.

“In the corner of the universe, where butterflies go to die, there is no mourning, only the soft, haunting reminder that beauty, no matter how fleeting, was once here.”

Skin of Thunder Chapters

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

"...You know, I really should try to get out more, see new sights, meet new people... travel because I want to, not because I feel I need to."

"...at least... that would be the plan, but... somehow, witnessing someone violently losing their eyes within minutes of looking around makes me want to just head back home and hide away for a few more months. I doubt that would hurt, right...?"

[weirdmarioenemies]

MARIO KART 9 RETRO PREDICTIONS!

That's right! Ever since like, a month ago, we've received official confirmation that we're getting a new Mario Kart game that isn't Mario Kart Tour! Rejoice!

Yes, it's an exciting time to be a Mario Kart fan. After all, a new game means new courses, new drivers, new items, new gameplay mechanics, and all that jazz! I mean, 24-player races in the fantastical world of Utah? That's some exciting stuff!

But almost just as exciting as the new courses are the new old courses, especially when considering how much Mario Kart 8 spruced them up! Also, it's just way easier to to predict returning courses than new courses. Look: I don't have a time machine shaped like a crystal ball. I could say "Oh yeah, Mario Kart 9 will definitely have a new course called Toad's Wastewater Treatment Plant," but I'd just be making that up. I don't have a source! I can't show you the bibliography! I'm sorry.

Not that I can completely accurately predict retro courses either. Look, I can be as methodical as I please, but I don't work at Nintemdo. We know next to nothing about this game, so all my predictions are really just shots in the dark here! But it's fun to load a gun and haphazardly shoot bullets in a cave! Who knows! Maybe we'll end up shooting some of the retro courses that will be in Mario Kart 9!

My dearest condolences to Toad's Factory.

Retro predictions begin under the cut!

Oh wow, you thought we were gonna get straight into the retro predicting? How does it feel to be The Fool right now, The Fool?

Really though, I just want to get all methodologologilical[sic] first. Just get out some of the key assumptions I'm making so you can better understand why I've made the choices I've made. Alright? Cool. Cool.

I'm assuming there will be 48 courses in the base game, and by extension, 24 retro courses split across six cups. Given the goal of this game is to move people to the Nintendo Switch 2, and every Nintendo Switch 1 owner and their mother and their mother's dog owns a copy of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, going from 96 courses to a mere 32 courses feels like a considerable downgrade. Given that Mario Kart 8 Deluxe has 48 courses without the DLC, this feels like a good baseline going forwards.

I'm not sure what to make of the mainline status of Mario Kart Tour. I'm leaning towards it being technically mainline, due to its content being ported to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but it's definitely not a traditional Mario Kart game. So I will be including courses from it in my predictions, but courses that have only returned in Tour are basically on the same level of priority as courses that have never returned at all to me. Speaking of which...

I plan on prioritizing courses that have never returned, but I'm not going to exclusively limit myself to courses that have never returned. We're reaching a point where some games are really slim pickings for retro course options if we're only considering ones that have never returned, and given Nintendo has shown they're comfortable with double-dipping in places like Mario Kart 8's DLC and Mario Kart Tour, I think it's safe to say Mario Kart 64 won't be dragged out back and shot after they bring back Wario Stadium.

HOWEVER, I will NOT include any courses that have returned in Mario Kart 8!* This does include the Booster Course Pass for reference, so I apologize to any courses that were given underwhelming remakes there. Someday you'll get the remake you deserve, Sky Garden. Courses that originated in Mario Kart 8 are still fair game, but given that again, the goal is to move people to the new console, you probably don't want too many courses they can already play on the game they most certainly already have. Don't worry about the asterisk yet. We'll get there when we get there.

And as for more general goals, I'm looking for solid aesthetic diversity, a respectable difficulty curve, and a decent balance between games. None of these are really hard rules, since everybody will define them differently, and the exact amount they matter is hard to judge. I mean, I would like to keep the games relatively balanced, but it makes sense why the Booster Course Pass has eight Wii courses and two SNES courses. This is because Wii courses tend to be "pretty damn fun", as opposed to SNES courses which tend to be "utter dogwater".

Fun factor is also an important thing to keep in mind here. Why waste precious development time on bringing back courses nobody wants? I'm sorry, but no amount of spit-shine will ever save Figure-8 Circuit.

Okay, I think that's about everything. Now we can get into the part of the post you probably actually care about: predicting the retro courses!

SHELL CUP

Wii Luigi Circuit

Ah, the classic "boring starting course". Boring starter courses are interesting, because they brought back like 50 of these in Mario Kart DS, but ever since Nintendo has kinda been avoiding these like the plague. Unfortunately, now we've kinda reached a point where for games with slim pickings, "boring starter courses" are some of the only courses they have left. I feel like we're gonna have to bite the bullet at some point and bring one of these back, so it may as well be Wii Luigi Circuit.

Also motivating this pick is the return of the Luigi Tires sponsor, which was featured on this track back in Mario Kart Wii! Obviously this is a pretty minor connection, but I kinda get the feeling the reason they'd bring a sponsor like this back is if they're also bringing back a course that featured it. Ultimately this is what gave it the edge to me over Figure-8 Circuit. Well that, and the fact that there's no reason to spend development time on Figure-8 Circuit over literally any course that isn't Figure-8 Circuit.

3DS Daisy Hills

Daisy Hills! I don't really have a ton to say on this one. Its "alpine village where a young witch would look for a lost cat" setting is fairly unique by the standards of early-game courses, and given the list of courses that have never returned consist largely of mid-to-late game courses and "boring circuit tracks", having a course like this feels like a good pick.

SNES Koopa Beach 1

I would like to take a moment to curse Super Mario Kart for not having interesting course themes. It becomes a pain to pick specific courses from a game where literally every course theme has better alternatives from other games. Because when I'm prioritizing aesthetic diversity, picking a boring Super Mario Kart track is kind of by extension shutting out the better options from other games, right?

So figuring out what courses from this game to pick was basically a game of figuring out which theme had the most acceptable losses, and I concluded it was probably the beach courses. Apologies to Cheep Cheep Lagoon and Cheep-Cheep Island, but neither of you is interesting enough to warrant not picking an SNES course over you. And actual sincere apologies to Dolphin Shoals!

MK8 Sweet Sweet Canyon

Rounding out our Shell Cup, we have our first returning course from Mario Kart 8! Given Mario Kart 8 is ripe for the picking, it's likely we'll see a solid handful of courses from it, and since Nintendo tends to avoid putting multiple courses from the same game in a single cup, my choices are gonna have to be spread out across the difficulty curve.

Sweet Sweet Canyon isn't really one of my favorite of Mario Kart 8's original courses, but as an early game course with very unique theming, it feels like a pretty safe pick for a Priority Retro course to me. There's not really any thematic competition for "courses made of candy"! My only hope is that if my predictions are accurate and they do bring back this specific course, that they brighten up the color palette a bit. The amount of detail here is gorgeous, but the colors have always felt slightly too drab for the theming to me.

Also yes, I'm using "MK8" as the abbreviation for returning Mario Kart 8 courses and not "Wii U". I know that typically the abbreviation is based on the console and not the name of the game, but given the existence of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, the fact it has battle courses unique to it that should probably be put under the same label, and the fact Nintendo probably wants to acknowledge the Wii U as little as possible, I think using "MK8" as the abbreviation feels like the right call.

BANANA CUP

DS Delfino Square

Given Mario Kart DS's options for courses that have never returned are "starting circuit", "Bowser's Castle", and "Rainbow Road", and all of those are competitive slots, I think it's likely we'll see a bit of double-dipping for this game. That's probably a good thing, because DS has some awesome courses that aren't in Mario Kart 8!

Case in point: Delfino Square, which feels like one of the most-requested courses I saw for the Booster Course Pass that never got added. But maybe we should be grateful, because now it can be saved for a remake with good graphics! I've been a big fan of this course ever since I was a kid, mostly because of the music (which I'd love to hear a live arrangement of!), but the course itself is pretty cool too I guess. Glider ramp on the drawbridge whenever it's up? Would that work?

N64 Frappe Snowland

Mario Kart 64 is another game that's slim pickings in terms of "courses that have never returned at all". Given I'm trying to include at least two courses from every game here, picking another N64 course was kind of a challenge. Most of the picks I would've gone for are in Mario Kart 8 already, because if not for the Booster Course Pass, Choco Mountain and Kalimari Desert would've definitely been in the running. And lots of the other choices that felt decent, like DK's Jungle Parkway or Banshee Boardwalk, have alternatives in other games that felt higher priority.

So I'm going with Frappe Snowland. This course hasn't really been in a traditional Mario Kart game since Mario Kart DS, so I think it feels like a solid candidate to get another remake. I mean, it's a pretty generic snow course as-is, so it might be due to get a modern reimagining. I'm imagining a cozy little winter town near the starting line, maybe having some similar vibes to the winter variant of Animal Crossing.

Do you pronounce it "frap" or "fra-pay"? I'm in the fra-pay camp but I'm pretty sure the other one might technically be correct due to the lack of accent over the e, but I'm also not sure if that's so much a hint of the pronunciation so much as "leaving off the accent for convenience sake". Both are technically valid I'm pretty sure, so I won't fight you if you're in frap camp. I promise.

Wii Toad's Factory

Look. If there's one course I would put actual real money on being in the next game, I think it's Toad's Factory. Yes! Even over the courses from games that literally have only one course that has never returned! Wario Stadium is boring and faces competition from Wario Colosseum, and I'm not sure to what extent Tour counts as mainline as far as Piranha Plant Pipeline is concerned, but Toad's Factory? I can't think of a reason you wouldn't bring this one back.

It's one of the only courses from Mario Kart Wii that has never returned, it's a fan-favorite course, it's an early-game course with unique theming when "courses that have never returned" tend to skew late-game, not to mention that Mario Kart Wii is a favorite game for fans and Nintendo alike. Literally the only reason I can imagine Mario Kart 9 not having Toad's Factory is if Mario Kart 9 doesn't have retro courses at all. That, or if my methodology is way, way off. But like, Nintendo knows what courses fans like! They have to see the demand for Toad's Factory, right?

3DS Shy Guy Bazaar

Look. I'm gonna come forwards and say it: I'm pretty sure this course is what we in the industry would call "orientalist as hell". I'm definitely not the most qualified person to speak on this subject, but given what I have heard from people who are, it's very much giving me the vibes of "mystical, vaguely Arabic desert kingdom" that all of us should frankly be tired of seeing at this point. This isn't really a course I think I want to see brought back.

But this isn't a wishlist. This is Predictions, and unfortunately I do not have the faith in Nintendo to Not Be Orientalist, considering how much this sort of thing has continued into even their most recent output. And like, as far as the things I am prioritizing when I make my list go, I'm pretty sure Shy Guy Bazaar checks all the boxes. It has unique theming, and datamining suggests it was very nearly put in Mario Kart 8. I think this one feels like a shoo-in, even if I don't really want it to be.

FEATHER CUP

That's right! More retro courses means I have to predict new retro cups as well! I think the Feather Cup feels like a good retro cup choice, since its presence as an item in Super Mario Kart and its absence from most later Mario Kart games gives it a distinctly "retro" feel.

Oh, and speaking of Super Mario Kart...

SNES Mario Circuit 4

For a long time, I saw people question why Nintendo would bring back the Mario Circuits so much compared to other SNES courses with more distinct theming. After all, if you're going to have to dedicate a slot or two to SNES courses, you might want to pick the less boring themes, right...? But while this sounds like a logical train of thought, I think I have since seen the light of day. The reason they bring back the Mario Circuits is because they can get away with being boring.

Because the Mario Circuits can pass off their "being boring" as being like, a retro thing, right? Like, you can try to make an interesting rendition of Donut Plains or whatever, but ultimately you're just putting lipstick on a pig. Donut Plains 3 is always gonna be one of the most boring courses in Mario Kart 8, even with a gorgeous graphical overhaul! The Mario Circuits, by virtue of being thematically boring, don't have to pretend they are anything more than what they are: boring SNES courses.

...I'd still like them to do something interesting with Mario Circuit 4 though. I mean, GBA Mario Circuit got an anti-gravity U-turn. It's worth a shot.

MK8 Sunshine Airport

Something you need to know about me is that "me making retro course predictions for Mario Kart 9" is NOT a new thing. I've been doing this basically ever since Mario Kart 8 came out over a decade ago, and ever since then I have felt reasonably confident in one thing: I think Sunshine Airport is gonna be one of the first Mario Kart 8 courses they bring back.

Literally everything about Sunshine Airport feels like a "priority retro course" to me, in the same vein as Coconut Mall or Music Park. Unique theming? Check. A level of complexity that gives it flexible positioning on a difficulty curve? Check. Approval from the fans? Check. Hell, even if Nintendo decides not to bring back anti-gravity, this course doesn't need it! All it amounts to here is one singular turn where the anti-gravity feels shoehorned in to begin with!

It feels weird to be so, so confident in a Mario Kart 8 pick when literally every original course from that game is an option, like I can't say I'm confident in Sunshine Airport to the same degree I'm confident in like, Toad's Factory or Wario Stadium or anything like that, but I dunno. Sunshine Airport almost feels like it was made to be a retro course.

Or maybe I've just been so weirdly confident in this specific idea for so long that it's just drilled itself into my head, I dunno.

Tour Piranha Plant Pipeline

Say hello to literally the only Mario Kart Tour course that didn't make its way into the Booster Course Pass! Yes, that's literally my only reasoning for including it. But if Tour courses are in fact in the running, then that's basically the only reason you need. This course wasn't in Mario Kart 8 and the only other place you can play it is a mobile game where it's only in rotation for like, two weeks of the year.

I don't think this is one of Tour's best original courses, it's decidedly mid-tier compared to the likes of Squeaky Clean Sprint, Yoshi's Island, and Ninja Hideaway, but it'd be nice to have it in a more accessible place. In Mario Kart 8 it'd feel redundant with Piranha Plant Slide, but here it probably won't have that issue.

Funniest outcome for this course however, is if they treat it like the other non-city Tour originals in the Booster Course Pass and try to pass it off as a new course for some reason.

GBA Broken Pier

I think it's funny how much Nintendo has fallen in love with Mario Kart: Super Circuit lately. For the longest time, GBA courses were given the short end of the stick with only one or two returning courses per game. However, when they started giving retro courses more dramatic overhauls in Mario Kart 8, they realized that GBA courses, unlike SNES courses, actually have interesting themes that are conducive to cool remakes, and now there are barely any GBA courses they haven't brought back! Which is to say there's two, and one of them is Broken Pier. Hi, Broken Pier!

Look, this is not a fan-favorite GBA course by any stretch of the imagination. I often see this considered one of the worst courses in the game. But how much does that actually really matter? When it comes to creative liberties taken with retro courses, GBA courses tend to get the most dramatic overhauls. As long as you keep the theming in tact and a vague facsimile of the layout, you can basically do whatever you want with these courses when you bring them back.

Given I think the atmosphere of this course is "pretty dang cool", that's all that really matters. Nintendo has free reign to do whatever they want with this course, because who's gonna complain about an unfaithful remake of Broken Pier?

LEAF CUP

MK8 Wild Woods

To be honest, there's a ton of courses from Mario Kart 8 I've considered putting at the start of the Leaf Cup. Shy Guy Falls, Dragon Driftway, and Super Bell Subway also feel like solid choices to me, but I'm going with Wild Woods for the silly reason of "cup-appropriate theming". This isn't something Nintendo does a ton of, but given in the past we've seen Maple Treeway in the Leaf Cup, DK Jungle in the Banana Cup, Rock Rock Mountain in the Rock Cup, and 3DS Rainbow Road in the Moon Cup, it's definitely something that does happen. It's enough to sway my opinion on this subject ever so slightly.

Either way, this is definitely the part where "literally every Mario Kart 8 course is in contention" is coming to bite me.

GBA Lakeside Park

Lakeside Park is another of those courses I really don't have to say much about my inclusion of. There's a bit of competition for a "jungle course spot" from Dino Dino Jungle and DK's Jungle Parkway I think, but given this one has yet to return in a traditional Mario Kart game, it feels like a more likely option to me. I just hope they reintroduce a little bit of the complexity in the layout that was lost in the Mario Kart Tour version of this course. I dunno what's up with Mario Kart Tour and oversimplifying the layouts of GBA courses in particular.

Wii Dry Dry Ruins

So many Mario Kart Wii courses are in Mario Kart 8, that based on my somewhat arbitrary "no repeat retros from Mario Kart 8" rule, narrowing down potential Wii courses is not really a challenge at all. Like, we're probably getting Toad's Factory, we're probably getting Dry Dry Ruins, and then pick one of the other three courses off a wheel and throw that one in, too.

I see a lot of people say they don't care for desert courses, but I'm kind of under the impression that they really just mean Dry Dry Desert and Bone-Dry Dunes. And maybe Yoshi Desert, but I don't know how many people even remember that course exists. But like, every other desert course in the series seems to have a solid reception with fans, right? I've seen lots of people clamoring for Dry Dry Ruins, but that might just be because "Mario Kart Wii fans" are a very vocal crowd, and they just think the shortcuts here are really cool. I can't blame 'em.

3DS Wario Shipyard

Something I've realized from my various attempts at Mario Kart 9 retro predictions from over the years is that lots of the courses that seem like viable options for retro picks are Wario courses. N64 Wario Stadium is basically a given, but Wario Shipyard is probably one of the most distinctive 3DS tracks, and Wario Colosseum and Mount Wario are both big fan-favorites too. Dang Wario, you need to cut it out with all your "courses that kick ass"! You're stealing valuable real estate from all the other characters!

I don't think Wario can hear me, and even if he does, he probably doesn't care. We know he's a greedy man. He probably feels so smug about "stealing precious real estate". I bet he's gonna get a new course of this caliber too, because that's just the kind of course Wario makes at this point.

MOON CUP

That's right! Second new retro cup! I went with the Moon Cup, and put it between the Leaf and Lightning Cup to act as the new retro parallel to the Star Cup, because that just feels right to me.

MK8 Electrodrome

This is the last of my picks for returning Mario Kart 8 courses, and feels like another relatively safe pick. Not as safe as Sunshine Airport, since it'd be considerably worse-off without anti-gravity, but there's this one butte in the background of the trailer which looks like it could be an anti-gravity section so we're probably fine on that front.

Anyway, all the stuff I've been saying across this post applies here also. Unique theming, well-liked by fans, you know the drill. Really, how much do I have to keep repeating these things? You know what my lines of reasoning are, do I have to keep saying them? Is this interesting to you? Are you interested right now?

Uhhhh this course was given a spotlight in a trailer for the original Mario Kart 8 on the Wii U. So I think Nintendo likes it also. That's a little more in its favor specifically.

GCN Mushroom City

Forget about every other course I've talked about on this post. If I have to single out the course I want to see return the most, it's this one. Frappe Snowland? More like CRAPPE Snowland! Mario Circuit 4? More like Mario Circuit BORE! Mushroom City? More like Mushroom Sh... no wait this is the one i like

Anyway, Mushroom City is cool as hell and it's criminal they've never brought this one back. Definitely probably maybe a top 10 Mario Kart course for me. I dunno. I haven't played Double Dash that much. But I've played it enough to know that I like Mushroom City, okay? I don't know if any other traffic course really sells the feeling of driving through a big city as much as this one, what with all its branching paths.

I really appreciate how they handled the branching paths here. On a course like Yoshi Valley, there's only one route that's actually good, making the whole gimmick feel kinda meaningless, but here everything feels even enough that no path feels unviable, especially with how the traffic patterns can influence your decision-making! And also the music is great and begging for a live band rendition. Make it happen, Nintendo! Mushroom City has spent too much time not returning, and not enough time... returning.

I mean, it feels like a pretty likely inclusion to me. I feel people have reappraised this course as being "really really good" lately (rightfully so!) and it's also one of only four Double Dash courses that have never been brought back. The other three include the coveted Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Road slots, as well as Wario Colosseum, which WOULD feel like a good candidate if not for...

N64 Wario Stadium

Man, I'm glad I put these courses back-to-back in my retro predictions. It wasn't specifically for that segue, but it makes for a damn good segue.

Poor, poor Wario Stadium. Literally the only course from Mario Kart 64 which has never been brought back, which I think kind of makes it an auto-include for these retro predictions, even if we don't want it to be. Something funny is that, having looked Mario Kart course ranking lists for over a decade now, I've seen the public opinion on this course shift dramatically in real time.

Like, ten years ago I saw this course frequently ending up on "Top 10 Mario Kart courses of all time" lists, with people talking about how cool it is that it's like a real dirt bike stadium, and how funny it was when you hit an opponent during the big jump and they had to repeat half the race.

But nowadays it feels like the popular opinion is "there's a good reason this is the only N64 course they've never brought back". Like, now everyone thinks this course is just really long and boring, and the opinion on Big Jump Snipes have shifted from "funny and cruel" to "just making the course even more of a slog to get through." Time has not been kind to N64 Wario Stadium.

But if anything, I think that's why this course needs to be brought back, right? To get the makeover it deserves and get some time being a less terrible course. I'm pretty sure the addition of tricks as a gameplay mechanic alone would improve it significantly, let alone more dramatic changes you could make to the layout. Worst case scenario, you give it the Wario Colosseum treatment and make it a two-lap course. (Or give it the N64 Rainbow Road treatment and make it only one lap, but I don't think that'd work out here.)

I have to clarify: the fact there's a long Wario course set in a stadium that's basically an auto-include is the sole reason I'm not putting Wario Colosseum on my retro predictions. Sorry, guys.

DS Airship Fortress

You wanna know why DS Airship Fortress is on my Mario Kart 9 retro predictions? Because it wasn't in the Booster Course Pass. That's it. Like, this course is a big hit with fans, it was in Mario Kart Tour already, and basically everyone agrees it was a baffling exclusion. So at this point the most logical conclusion I can think of is "it wasn't in Mario Kart 8 because they were saving it for Mario Kart 9".

That's really all I have to say on this one.

LIGHTNING CUP

3DS Maka Wuhu

Did you know? The two Wuhu Island courses are literally the only Mario Kart 7 courses which have never returned! Granted, lots of the others have only returned in Tour, which feels like the world's biggest edge case, but like, it's weird we haven't seen the Wuhu Island courses at all, right? I feel like people like these courses quite a bit. I mean, they brought back Wuhu Town as a battle arena in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, so I don't think they're off the table.

Really, I've kinda been skirting around the crossover courses, because I'm not sure what to make of them. I'm definitely under the impression Mario Kart 9's not gonna be the "Super Smash Kart" or whatever some people have suggested, given the trailer exclusively shows Mario characters driving through an area not based on any Mario game in particular. I don't think Super Smash Kart would include Baby Rosalina on its roster.

But like, I don't wanna dismiss the idea of Mario Kart 9 having crossover content completely, because I could totally imagine it sticking around on a smaller scale, akin to... well, Mario Kart 8! And even putting that all aside, I kind of feel like the Wuhu courses are almost a weird exception to being "crossover courses" since they were in the main game of Mario Kart 7? I dunno. At this point I'm making weird and arbitrary rules for myself for the sake of making weird and arbitrary rules. I don't think I can explain my logic in a way that makes as much sense as it does in my head.

Tour Ninja Hideaway

Hey, so remember way, way earlier in the post when there was an asterisk when I mentioned my rule about no repeat retros from Mario Kart 8? Well here it is! It's Asterisk! You see, I wanted to include at least two courses from every game, but this proved to be an issue for Mario Kart Tour in particular, since all but one of its courses were included in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. So I broke my rules, right? Well, not exactly...

Because Ninja Hideaway didn't return in Mario Kart 8.

See how this course was labelled in Mario Kart 8? It wasn't Tour Ninja Hideaway, just "Ninja Hideaway". Legally speaking, Ninja Hideaway did not return in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, because it was a new course in that game too, for some reason! So none of my rules have been broken. This is, legally, the first time Ninja Hideaway will be a retro course.

Obviously, this sort of logic is incredibly silly, and barely makes any sense at all, but knowing Nintendo, I'm kind of under the impression this is the exact sort of logic they operate under. So I'm sticking by it! I think this would be a cool Lightning Cup pick. I like it for a lot of the same reasons I like Mushroom City (thank you well-balanced branching paths!), and I feel like some of the sharp turns here would make it well-suited for the late game.

DS Bowser('s?) Castle

Did you know? This course is just called "Bowser Castle". Not Bowser's Castle, with the apostrophe s. I don't really know why. I kind of expect them to change it, since they did with all the GBA Bowser's Castles in Mario Kart Tour, but they didn't with SNES Bowser Castle 3, so I really don't know. Either way, you too are now cursed with this information!

Anyway, given my two other picks from Mario Kart DS are both double-dips, I figured I should include one course which hasn't returned yet, and I'm going with this one. Figure-8 Circuit is probably the worst course of all time, and I think there's better candidates for a retro Rainbow Road, but Bowser('s) Castle? I mean, I've seen a fair share of fans who really like this one. I figure it's about time to bring it back.

For some reason, Nintendo hardly ever brings back the endgame Bowser's Castles, but I figure they gotta start chipping away at that list at some point, and having it as the penultimate retro course before a Rainbow Road just feels right. Speaking of which...!

GCN Rainbow Road

This was a pretty big toss-up between GBA Rainbow Road and GCN Rainbow Road for me, but I'm going with this one. I know GBA feels like the logical pick, since we got SNES in Mario Kart 7 and N64 in Mario Kart 8, but now that Mario Kart 8 also has SNES, 3DS, and Wii's Rainbow Roads, I'm not sure how much that order really matters anymore. And besides that... GCN just feels more iconic. It's the road that you go when you die!

Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna discount GBA completely, partially because of The Cycle, partially because it's one of the only GBA courses left, and partially because I think you could do a lot with a cool remake, but at the same time, let's be real with ourselves: if any Mario Kart game is the least iconic one, it's Super Circuit. I love its Rainbow Road a whole lot, but I don't think that's the one you show off in a big trailer to get fans excited for the first big Mario Kart game in over a decade, right?

Also, GCN Mushroom City feels like a very likely retro course, and you can see it in the background of GCN Rainbow Road, so uhhhh yeah. Checkmate, atheists! GCN Rainbow Road is real and there is nothing you can do about it!

Okay, so maybe my logic is a little flimsy, but as I said at the start of the post, I can't predict the future! Ultimately, I don't know why or how Nintendo decides which courses they want to bring back, and all I can really do is try to infer patterns based on what they've done in the past. But you know how it is with apophenia. We're all the time seeing patterns we want to see that aren't really there!

Ultimately, this is a game we know very little about, and it would be foolish of me to pretend that I've boiled any of this down to a science. Really, the reason I'm doing this is because it's fun! It's fun to think about hypothetical returning courses in future Mario Kart games using bogus patterns that don't really exist!

Also a big waste of time. Thanks for indulging in this big waste of time with me, everyone!

(if your favorite course wasn't included on this list, please imagine it as post-launch DLC. thank you.)

[janmisali]

[NOT APRIL FOOL’S RELATED]

As the only supermariologist I follow, I wanted to know your opinion on a shower thought I had regarding the Mario franchise, specifically, what might be considered the “Main Cast” of the super Mario franchise.

I’m mostly curious about:

A) is there an official or semi-official set of characters defined in this way?

B) if not, what is your personal opinion (if any) on who that might be and what criteria that would require

Considering Mario, Peach and Bowser are almost certainly part of that cast (though Bowser is an antagonist…) I would say characters that appear or are playable in most if not all of the games who’s plot revolves around Bowser kidnapping Peach should be counted. That leaves me with Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad (but is he a single character?), Yoshi, and Bowser.

I imagine that this is one of those things like “what is a mainline super Mario game” that has multiple ambiguous answers, but simply interested to know your way of approaching it!

this is a great question!

so there actually is a semi-official list of "main characters" for Mario in the same way there's an official list of mainline Super Mario games. over on mario dot nintendo dot com slash characters we can see that the main characters are:

Mario

Luigi

Princess Peach

Toad

Bowser

Yoshi

Daisy

Wario

Waluigi

Rosalina

Bowser Jr.

Boo

Donkey Kong

Diddy Kong

whether or not this list is an actual satisfactory answer to "who are the main characters in Mario" is another question altogether of course. besides the obvious questionable things here, I'd like to point out the odd inconsistency of referring to "Princess Peach" by her full title while being on a first-name-only basis with Bowser, Daisy, and Rosalina. fun!

personally, I'd say there are a few different "tiers" of main character status in the Mario games. the main main characters are Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Peach. like, literally only those four. those are the four characters where it is always remarkable when a Mario game doesn't include one of them in a major role.

tertiary main characters would include all the recurring playable characters in ensemble multiplayer games, like Waluigi and Diddy Kong. (Diddy Kong would count as a main character if we were talking about Donkey Kong characters, but the question is about Mario characters, and Diddy Kong is definitely a tertiary main character in Mario games specifically) the real interesting question is who counts as being a "main character" at the layer between these two tiers.

I think Yoshi, Toad, Wario, and Donkey Kong are all a given for secondary main characters, but beyond that I'm really not sure! should Toadette count? what about Nabbit? Daisy? Kamek? Bowser Jr.? the Koopalings? Toadsworth? who knows! it's all very debatable, and there's no definitive answer here. nintendo's official list certainly isn't helping!

[rggconfessions]

Anonymous: "Man I'd love to be between an ichiban sandwich consisting of in game Ichi and rgg online Ichi...or can you imagine?? An ichiban orgy! Mainline Ichi, concept trailer Ichi, april fools trailer Ichi...Idk, anything to get his hands all over!! Hehehe"

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

The headaches had not gone away when he tried to ignore them, if anything they worsened the more he tried to suppress them, suppress his instincts and bodily responses to... something he could not identify.

When he tried to force himself to rest, he woke up in a different place altogether... and in a far different form. One that would have had the Fae running hands over his face in aggrieved frustration... if he still had one.

"...Of course. At least I cannot have a headache like this... but there is something off still, some sort of drive or imperative... If I was brought here for a reason, may as well see if it lines up with said instinct..."

Raspy yet bellowing, soft yet resonant, deep yet not loud, the self-contradictory 'Voice' of the 'Monstrous beast' carried over the stonework around, idly commentating before specks of azure light - flickering with hints of crimson and amber - narrowed in his skull. A craning of his neck as if to sniff the air, and he was set on a direction... following a smell as much as a direction, a path as much as a feeling, deeper into the Labyrinth - and possibly his doom, or so he would think from how this all had started for him.

In all honesty it would not be what he would expect, but it would be a form of doom all the same, given what lurked within at the heart of the castle... but at least it would be a far more pleasant 'doom' than most would ever dare try to survive.

@hriobzagelthewanderer liked for a starter

The shade watched as Vertebrae slept silently nuzzled against her pink clown doll. Its ghostly hands gently running along her face, she wrinkled her nose and moved away from its chill touch. It pulled away as she did, not wishing to disturb her more in her state. 

It knew its lady required a warmer touch, one it could not provide. And given the lord of the castle had taken his leave once again, she had no other options than the horde of blankets she curled upon and the small doll she adored.

But The Night strived to please its master and while it could not assist physically perhaps it could still assist in finding one who could.  

Somewhere in the silent halls of their castle the shadows would part open, a gateway allowing one bold enough to step in to enter their home of darkness. The Night wouldn’t guide them directly to their lady, no, not yet. The explorer would have to earn their visit with her by way of  traversing the maze-like castle first. If they followed her scent they’d achieve their reward of meeting the lady of the castle. 

If not, oh the shade knew a plant or two from the lord’s garden that could help provide a bit of encouragement. Most weren’t even deadly! 

[tacorerooster]

If Amy doesn’t appear in the 3rd Sonic Movie, these line are gonna ring extra hollow. Makes it more of a very late April Fools joke on Amy fans.

You had her finally be playable in a mainline game after 17 years with Sonic Frontiers, her finally getting to be Playable in the Classic games, then be part of the main cast in Sonic Superstars. Making it seem like Sega finally see her as important as Tails and Knuckles, the whole year of Amy, only for it to get overshadowed multiple times. She gets a Stand Alone idw comic that’s 1 issue. Fang the hunter a obscure side character, gets a whole 4 part mini series, which Amy isn’t even in. Amy gets a game about her birthday, with arguably the best writing for a Sonic game. Shadow gets a whole ass rerelease with a full ass DLC just for him with his name in the title.

And people just don’t seem to care about Amy if she is in the movie or not. I’ve seen more people asking about Rouge at this point.

It’s just so weird feeling to do this whole push for her then go nowhere with it.

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

[closed starter for @oflostinfound ]

Rumors had been running rampant, as were several younger 'non-humans' in the wake of the Huntress' arrival in a certain lakeside town. A hunt was beginning to stir for a particular azure-skinned child, and there would be little to stop such a Huntress from hunting them down for who knows what purposes...

...unless there was another quarry to catch their focus and lead them astray.

A tall, grey-cloaked figure very much in the roughly eight-foot-tall-range made a point to linger and patrol near the treeline as he circumnavigated the lake, following the imperative he had gained from instinct and prescience alike: somehow, this was what was needed of him, according to the world of spirits both living and dead, and thus he followed their pleas as best he could, to help maintain the balance.

...After all, compared to most of these younger folk, he was far more accustomed to evading capture with martial skill and wit alike, and with far more painfully-earned experience etched into his very skin at surviving such hunts...

All that was left was to see if a certain someone took the bait...

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Moorhuhn

Debut: Moorhuhn/The Original Crazy Chicken Hunt

This is Moorhuhn. And Moorhuhn is one crazy chicken! Don't let the fact that it looks like a very regular chicken fool you. It's CRAZY! The official descriptions of some Moorhuhn games refer to the creature as "probably the craziest and best-known chicken in the world". I don't think it's true... but they did say "probably", so I can't technically say they're incorrect? I guess?

There is a good chance you do not know Moorhuhn. If you do, it's likely from seeing "Crazy Chicken" games on the eShop or similar places, and dismissing them as shovelware. If you're German, however, you might be pogging your face off, because this thing is the most popular German video game character!

Such a popular character and franchise, and I dismissed it as shovelware upon first seeing it... what a fool I must have been! This must be a hidden gem outside of its home country, and if I were to play it, I would realize what fun there is to be had!

I've played it. I've played so much of it. The mainline games. The spinoffs. They're all mid, mid as hell! Germany, please make better games and characters!

So, the core of Moorhuhn is killing those crazy chickens with a shotgun. They run around, they fly around (with their fat-fingered Garfield hands that no longer even try to resemble wings), and they do cheeky things like block your bullets with a frying pan. This marketable cartoon animal mascot exists to be killed, and that is just so fascinating. Do we like this thing or not? My feelings are complicated.

Originally, Moorhuhn resembled more of a regular cartoon chicken, a design that I prefer, really. But the original game, made to sell whiskey and playable only in bars, was such a massive success that the franchising quickly began! Moorhuhn was redesigned, now unmistakably a scrimblo, ready to be shoved into any genre of spinoff was necessary. This chicken is like Germany's Mario, if instead of platforming, Mario made his fortune by being killed with a gun.

See? There's a kart racing subseries, because of course there is. Moorhuhn Kart 2 in particular seems to be one of the most beloved games in the entire franchise, and... well, it's as fun and functional as you might expect a Moorhuhn Kart to be. I kind of like it! The most fun, however, comes from laughing at, rather than with it. I played locally with two friends, and we had no idea what was going on, until we realized the UI was scrambled among our three screen quadrants! The placements, items, and boost meter you see on your corner of the screen are NOT yours, and you have to figure out where your UI actually is in order to know what's going on. I've never seen anything like it! It's quite an experience!

In this image you can also see some other Moorhuhn Characters! Who does this crazy chicken pal around with? Well, three of these characters- the turtle, the frog, and the mole- have received their OWN spinoff games, which is crazier than a chicken to me! They only appeared as elements of a mid shooting gallery game, and then they got their own games! You know, Meta Knight doesn't have his own game. Meta Knight! The certified coolest guy ever! He just cannot compare to Moorfrosch.

The other characters are even more interesting! My main is the one that looks like Moorhuhn, but not. This is Lesshuhn, which is a delightfully goofy name, and the design- basically a goofier, lankier Moorhuhn- is like Moorhuhn but more charming! The Lore of Lesshuhn is that it is a closely-related, but dim-witted species, so stupid that it's on the brink of extinction. In the shooting games where it appears, you will lose points for shooting it! Be nice to the poor fool!

The final two characters are where it gets really great. Snowman and Pumpkin! In their original appearances, these are not even characters. Just objects that you can shoot if you want, for some extra points. There were so few actual characters to choose from that these two had to be brought to life! As a fan of both snowmen and scarecrows, I am not complaining.

What does "Moorhuhn" mean? It means "Moorhen". This is a Moorhen! You might notice that it is not a chicken. Yeah, I don't know why they decided on this name for a domestic chicken. It's like if I made Moorhuhn, but decided to call it Woodcock, since cock means rooster, even though a woodcock is already an existing bird (an incredibly fantastic bird). I just don't get it!

I could go on and on about Moorhuhn, but I must end the post somewhere. I will end it with a question for you.

I would eat Moorhuhn. When I eat chicken fingers, I now pretend they are Moorhuhn's fingers. And if you think about it, Moorhuhn is getting killed all the time. Might as well not let them go to waste!

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

"No, that makes perfect sense, honestly that is more or less true in most of the places I have been." The wandering redhead sat thoughtfully nearby, nodding with a small smile of earnest curiosity as he busied himself trying to find the best leaves and herbs to put in another tin of tea for the Chimera. "Problem is where I come from is more of a little sinkhole between realities, technically, but, for sake of argument, said sinkhole takes on the properties of other places the more it brushes up against them, like every time I visit you, for instance-"

He stopped to squint at a particularly dry leaf, as if attempting to remember if it was just a particularly old but well-aged bit of greenery or, in fact, a stray bit of lint that was doing an all-too-well job of blending in where it didn't belong. "...if I had to generalize, however? 'Demonic' and 'Angelic', and 'Fae' and 'Eldritch', are more like, opposite ends on two different axis that almost all creatures fall under where I come from: the more you align with Nature and the Natural Order, the more you strengthen reality and harmonize with it, the more 'Fae' you are - and the more alien and disruptive you are to the world simply by existing the more 'Eldritch' you are. 'Demonic' just means you create chaos and change in general with your actions just as Angelic, or as I prefer 'Celestial', means you enforce some form of stability and order - though not necessarily that of the world at large. Sounds confusing, but really it is a very loose way of categorizing entities more inclusively without being inaccurate or pointless."

Finally deciding the offending 'leaf' wasn't worth his further time or scrutiny, he tossed it aside into a pile of similar rejects before moving onto the next leaf, quickly adding that one to a tin of accepted ingredients. "In all honesty? 'Fae' only becomes a label rather than an adjective when you have an entity or creature that fits the word too strongly compared to everything else, and has little else that fits it well enough due to the innate contradictions. Most 'Higher Fae' one can think of, such as myself, my predecessor, and Oberon if you've heard of the guy, all fit that role: not really a Diety but too powerful and tied to the way the world works to really fit any other description alone."

It was, perhaps, telling that he didn't bring up her commentary on the definition of 'Monster', or maybe he was just fixating.

|| @hriobzagelthewanderer || liked for a starter||

From world to world, which most creatures were more then familiar with the concepts of multiple worlds, what was considered a monster or a fairy or an angel or what have you-- was all different. In some worlds. Pixie, sprites, fairies and the fae were separate from things like elves, nymphs, or dryads. In other. They were all bunched together.

At least right now Honey was trying to explain and wrap her head around the technicalities for hers.

"So fae here. Can beh monsters. Boot note all o' t'em. It really depends on which domain a creature is born under. Loike a Cerberus can beh bot' a demon and a monster. Roight? Creatures loike me nymphs or individuals loike meh happen tae beh in tae domain o' spring. Which is a sub domain o' nature. So alot o' me nymphs do count as fae... or... would if spring weren't all fecked up. We can discuss specifics case by case lad. Whoot differentiate creatures where yer from?"

[roththeprimordial]

A Fool In Love by niku_wee

The amazing art piece was a commission by Niku_wee on X. Check her out!

Context: This is BigDad's AU version of Shadow, and not the mainline version. This Shadow is a mentally deficient clone of Sonic who is more like the Iron Giant, Bizarro, or Forrest Gump. This Shadow is very friendly and happy with a heart of gold. Even though he unintentionally causes disasters. I like to think while at the Resistance Base, Shadow sees Lanolin and develops a crush on her. He tries to get her attention and ask her out, using methods he saw from old romance movies. At first, Lanolin dismisses him, but later sees something in him, thanks to Shadow’s vibrant personality and heroic heart. Also in BigDad’s AU all the characters are paired up except for Shadow, so I thought Shadow deserved a little love too.