#the more i think about nona the more i love it tbh because you can see the thematic threads coming together

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[lesstheshadow]

re-entering my locked tomb era. it's about love the horror the terror the desolation the immensity. love as destruction and corruption and love as liberation. love as dividing and love as unifying. it's the problem it's the solution. life is too short and love is too long i'm going to scream

[apostleofgreed]

It's here, the finale - my friends thoughts throughout Nona the Ninth (it's a long one)

Right which one of these idiots is stuck in Nona's body

Signs point to both

I think more likely Harrow and shes just removed the massive stick up her ass

Most other signs thus far do point to Gideon though- lack of aforementioned stick, finds herself attractive, loves ass jokes, wants to pet dogs (Harrow seems like a don't work with animals or children type)

Also these other kids have names like they're gonna be running in the fucking grand national

Honestly what the fuck is going on with child conception in this series???

Someone has five dads, God was asking if Harrow and Ianthe were being 'safe' sexually and I'm just confused

Okay so I've only listened to half an hour today but if Crown isn't coronabeth I will eat my own arm

My theory is that neither of them are in Harrow's body and that she's being possessed by The Body

Maybe I should follow in Harrow's footsteps and ask you to fucking lobotomize me

No beta we die like Babs

"what do you think is sexy?" "Eating breakfast" Me too, Camilla, me too

Maybe someone needs to lobotomize Judith, has anyone thought of that?

Thing is I feel like I'm supposed to think John is really bad and is the villain here but I just don't

The worst thing he's done is lie to his friends for a few thousand years

Finally, the baddest bitch in all the nine houses (it's Ianthe)

What a power move honestly first she steals Babs' soul now she steals his body, absolutely inspired

She could literally kill another 200 babies to resurrect Harrow and I'd be like what a babe 😍 at this point

I'm bored of shooting can we go back to swords and doing weird things with your body please

I just think it would be great if Harrow could hop back into her body and have a full meltdown about how to function in this world

Erm Corona darling can you please try to stop them bombing your sister in the body of one of your lifelong pals pls and thanks

Y'all better sTOp

Fucking marry, kill, reanimate I can't hahahaha

"that's not actually crown's boyfriend Nona, it's her sister but I don't think anyone could blame you for getting confused" Fair hahahahah so very true

Don't know how they think this is gonna work seeing as though Harrow and Ianthe literally lived together for like over a year and had an interpersonal relationship but ok

Maybe it's because pash has the accent of a rudeboy from Oldham and suffer is weirdly French (on disliking We Suffer and Pash)

Palamades in Ianthe in Babs is sending me west

Abigail died too soon and really she did all the legwork in Harrow

Can't help but feel all of this drama could have been avoided if Harry had just done the job properly in the first place and just let Gideon die properly

All of this just because an 18 year old gave herself the brain scramblies

Cam has just burst into fire wtf

Can't believe Crux hasn't dropped dead tbh

I've got less than an hour left I feel like we're cutting it fine to get Harry back in her body here

Big flex to be waiting for everyone to arrive smoking a ciggie with your golden skeleton arm

Fucking friendship bracelets and a secret handshake hahahahah

Gideon needs to stop being such a bloody himbo

Who has shouted "get in line thou big slut!" Hahahahah

There we have it, the full series. Hope y'all have enjoyed this.

[mitziholder]

I find your thoughts on fandom interesting, and in general, I'm really glad to see more discussion of the bad shit fandom can/is doing to young women in radblr spaces. But I mean this as an honest question: Why do you consider fandom not challenging writers/readers such a problem? These aren't professional writing spaces, and the vast majority of fanfic writers don't intend to go into them. Does an artistic hobby *need* to challenge its participants to be worthwhile? I mean this all really genuinely, especially as someone who *does* work in the arts and *does* actively want work that challenges me, and has traditionally prided herself on it -- are these inherent moral goods? Am I a reasonable standard to expect of other people? Is engaging with boundary-pushing art a requirement of healthy maturity? Why? Is, say, a human rights lawyer who spends her free time watching trashy reality shows blighted, somehow, by that fact? What about a cashier who watches the same stuff because she's genuinely not interested in anything else? And, given the vast majority of readers of actual books basically read the way fanfic-only readers read -- the same genres, which use well-worn tropes -- do we think fandom is actually keeping its participants from more worthwhile experiences? (I suspect you might argue this is dumbing down the publishing industry, which I would really disagree with, as someone in publishing -- I know we can all point to Ali Hazelwood or a million YA books that advertise with tropes, but I really can't emphasize enough that this has been the case since modern publishing began, and I think pinning "so-so prose that's The Same Old Shit" on the current young female writer cohort borders on sexism, tbh.) I've been thinking about these questions a lot lately, and I just don't know the answers. My gut wants to say yes, it's good to present challenging work to people, especially women, because art is a key part of the human experience, and can effect all sorts of societal things. But also ... I know very little about the environment, including my immediate natural environment, and if I'm honest, I'm not really inclined to learn. I'm sure learning about it would effect all sorts of change in my life and concept of self. But I'm probably not going to do it because I have a limited amount of time and I'd rather give it to other things. Is that better or worse than engaging with challenging art? Is it better or worse to be me than the woman reading the same old tropey fanfic in her free time? I think what I WOULD argue is that, specifically, fandom as it is reinforces patriarchy and induces a lot self-destruction and alienation in young women, with particularly vile effects on young lesbians, autistic women, etc. But if it didn't do that....would I still have a problem with it? I don't know. But it's interesting as hell to think about, and I'd love your thoughts on it.

hello nona :-) many interesting points, much to consider

>Does an artistic hobby need to challenge its participants to be worthwhile?

no. I’m sure there are plenty of people who enjoy crochet or knitting or something like that for the sake of it or to de-stress. I’m sure there are also plenty of people who write and draw for the sake of it with little interest in grinding for improvement. that’s fine. the problem is when you have people who replace reading and personal edification with endless fluff + pointless indulgence.

reading... things... that are above your level, that actually make you think, is how you increase your vocabulary, your linguistic competence, your critical thinking skills, your ability to express yourself. difficult and complex texts present you with opportunities to broaden your perspective. they stimulate your mind, present you with new ideas; they can help you grow as a person in ways that the Same Old Shit simply won’t/can’t. it would be like benching the bar every day for 10 years straight and expecting to get stronger... I presume. I don’t lift weights.

as I said previously, I don’t think fanfic is going to destroy your brain, but if you read nothing but fanfic, that is on the same level as (or maybe worse than) reading nothing at all. of course I’m going to be critical of a community of people who humblebrag about how they can’t bring themselves to read 25 pages of literature in an academic (non yaoitastic) context.

ya ya it’s a joke they’re joking very funny, but do you see people of other creative pursuits or hobbies joking about how they can’t bring themselves to focus on a piece of actual literature or nonfiction? how they have zero interest in anything outside of anime boys kissing each other? it’s a sign of intellectual stagnation (and eventual regression imo).

I watch a lot of shitty youtube videos, but I acknowledge that they are basically a waste of my time. meanwhile you have post after post singing the praises of how culturally important and worthy of respect Our Beloved Fic Writers are in spite of the fact that their work is, by and large, completely self-indulgent shit! there’s just so much potential that isn’t being tapped into & so much complacency... it’s very frustrating to me. I find it dishonest. red white and royal blue is not going to change the world... lol

for the record, yes, you are right, lots of Real book-readers also read mostly self-indulgent shit. genre fiction is far more popular than anything else... and I don’t care for booktok either. in fairness, literary fiction isn’t always good, and I’m sure there were many women who read nothing but terrible pulp novels 70 years ago too. that doesn’t make fandom any better! not to say this is all women’s fault - I just have zero frame of reference for how “cultured” men may or may not be, and I don’t really care either way. I focus on fandom girlies because they’re what I know, & I want women to be... better, or at least more interesting. this is, of course, sexist by definition. I hold myself and other women to higher standards. I will admit to that. I’ll also admit to the fact that I do not care about men or what they are writing or reading and would not give a shit if they all became illiterate thoughtless slugs. it is what it is.

truthfully, I have no interest in moralizing any of this. I just find it depressing! it’s resulting in more and more women who cannot relate to and have zero interest in anything outside of the narrowly defined fanfic bubble - so, more and more women who can’t relate to me or what I care about. I’m selfish, and I think it’s unfortunate that there are so many young female writers clearly capable of writing something interesting who nevertheless restrict themselves to lowest common denominator coombrained garbage because it’s what’s easy and popular.

do we have a responsibility to pester random strangers about their amateur fanfic? naw. who has the time? all I know is that conversations I’ve had with my female friends about our original works or other women’s writing have been vastly more substantial and enlightening than any argument about who tops or bottoms in supernatural... imo. in my opinion

re: the environment and social responsibility, I also have no interest in debating what matters are the most important and whether you have a personal, moral obligation to educate yourself about them. I recognize that we all have a limited amount of time and energy to dedicate to something which is admittedly fairly peripheral to most people’s everyday concerns (such as... paying the bills). then again, so is almost everything.

at the end of the day, I just think it is an awful shame that some women would - and they freely admit this - rather turn their brains off and do nothing, think about nothing, read the same shit over and over, watch the same shows over and over, draw and write the same things and dynamics over and over... than do anything else. anything different or thought-provoking or uncomfortable. it is a loss for the breadth and the depth of women’s contributions to culture as well as their empathy and intellectual curiosity.

obligatory food analogy: a little bit of junk food won’t kill you, but if that’s all you’re eating, you are probably not... doing... well

and that’s not even getting into the social contagion present within fandom re:mogai, relationships, and gender identity shit (which I would say probably has a lot to do with the underdeveloped critical thinking skills and worldviews of girls who read nothing but fanfiction). I would love to come back to that at some point, but I think this post is long enough, so I’ll just put a pin in it. there’s honestly an insane amount that I have to say about common talking points regarding the value of yaoi/fanfic (in terms of how they portray Marginalized Identities and Relationships and how it supposedly helps women navigate their own trauma through a proxy or some shit like that) oh god this is a horrible run-on .... that’s all for now! send post!

[dreamofhircine]

okay so here is the 2023 books year-in-review, this is going to be v. long because I ended up reading & re-reading a lot of my backlog after rebuilding the bookshelves in our house. This is going to be roughly sorted, and I'll try and say a little bit about each thing.

Hazel Jane Plante

Little Blue Encyclopedia (for Vivian) - I adored this! It's a slimmer book, closer to a novella, but it was maybe my favorite piece this whole year. The central premise of this is that in a haze of grief after the death of her bestie a woman gets way too into their shared fandom and writes a combination of TV show fandom zine, obituary & love letter. The two-part narrative structure is something that Plante would go on to play w/ more in

Any Other City - also a great book! This is written as the memoir of a trans punk rock star split between her journal style letters in the 90s as she navigated an art scene as a woman who doesn't realize it yet, and then picks up again in the 2020s after her own celebrity was cemented.

Casey Plett

Little Fish - Really rad slice of life about a mennonite trans woman in Canada who has a lot of feelings about that. This feels more than anything like a strong expansion upon several of Plett's short stories in A Dream of a Woman.

A Dream of a Woman - I got lost in so many of the stories in this anthology, Plett writes the lives of these women so vividly it feels like you know them. You probably *do* know them.

A Safe Girl to Love - Plett's first anthology, recently re-published. I was not *as big* a fan of this one, but it still holds up very well and is a good example of her style generally.

The Locked Tomb - I am gonna talk about all three of these in one go, actually. These were really sweet, really nice, I really like the approach to necromancy as just sort of another kind of science or physical force, worked through a process very close to magic. I've been seeing art of these characters around for a long time now and it is nice to finally put a personality to the faces. The pool scene in GtNth especially really hit.

Gideon the Ninth

Harrow the Ninth

Nona the Ninth

Peter Watts - This is also gonna get a block review because so many of the things here are interconnected to one another. Starfish to Behemoth are all in The Rifters Trilogy, and Blindsight & Echopraxia are a pair. Watts has a really great way of tearing down the human brain and playing with all the ways that trauma can influence it, how adaptational quirks can be weaponized. Starfish is probably the single best way to get into his work, but if 'vampires in space' sounds more your speed then Blindsight has it covered.

Starfish

Maelstrom

Behemoth

Blindsight

Echopraxia

qntm

There Is No Antimemetics Division - This is a republish of qntm's large body of work on the SCP wiki, sharing the same name. This is really solid, and the use of narrative negative space is interesting.

Valuable Humans in Transit and Other Stories - A slim collection of short stories and an overall much better showing from qntm, no longer tied up w/ SCP stuff. The things that delve into the implication of human mind based AI constructs especially is really strongly written and will leave you thinking for a while after.

The Division - Broken Dawn is the older entry and did not really capture my attention very strongly, it felt phoned in more than anything else. Recruited & Compromised by contrast could stand on their own w/o The Division branding though both are very well integrated into the game, w/ events going back and forth between the two now that the game is getting more narrative content to it.

The Division: Broken Dawn

The Division: Recruited

The Division: Compromised

D&D - You can probably guess why I jumped into these and what game got me to do it. Drizzt is something I avoided for a very long time because of the associations in the fandom and that was probably not unwarranted tbh. I probably won't continue w/ the series after Exile. It is competently written but these things are creaking w/ their own age and just don't have enough going on to stand on their own unfortunately.

Drizzt: Homeland

Drizzt: Exile

The Devil You Know - Another entry in the Brimstone Angels series, which is my favorite of any of the longer running D&D series. Centered around the misadventures of a Tiefling Warlock and how she gets pulled into the big-dick-swinging matches between various devils trying to make their weird little power plays.

40K

Horusian Wars: Incarnation - This was stellar. Great look at the Inquisition and how insular and back-stabby it can be, I hope more comes from this.

Kasrkin - A mostly by the numbers book that was written entirely to promote the 'kasrkin vs necrons' Kill Team box that came out a bit back. Competent but doesn't have anything new or interesting to say.

Pariah - Eh. This wasn't bad, but it wasn't that good either. Abnett has long been one of my favorite authors in general, not even just in 40k specifically, but I don't think it is controversial to say he has fallen off lately. Compared to his earlier stuff w/ the Inquisitors, hell even compared to stuff like that Horusian Wars book and Pariah just doesn't do enough and the whole Bequin sequence right now feels like it is mostly being done to shift things around in the meta-narrative rather than be good books that stand on their own feet.

The Armour of Contempt - I re-read this one recently and it was just as good as when I first picked it up in high school. Abnett is at some of his best here.

General Fiction (Unsorted)

The Archive Undying: The Downworld Sequence Book 1 - Homosexual activities in a sci-fi fantasy world once dominated by city-scale god-king AIs that went critically rampant a long time ago. This is a really great start to what I hope will be an excellent series.

The Darkness That Comes Before - Re-read after initially reading this when it was new and I was like a pre-teen. Definitely not a book a pre-teen should read and maybe some of that explains why I am like this now. Let's not look at that *too* closely, yeah? This still stands on its own after all these years, though I hear the series in general kind of flagged after a while. If you're into nihilist fantasy check it out.

Burning Chrome - Re-read and enjoyed yet again. Classic Gibson, lays the frame upon which the rest of his body of work would be built.

Pattern Recognition - Re-read this and it still holds up. Gibson is at his height here, calling shots that would start to land almost *immediately* after he published it. Reading this may re-orient your fashion sense entirely so be forewarned and have a bit of space in your wardrobe first I guess.

All You Need Is Kill - Another re-read! I got back into this after realizing that a lot of that traumatized mech pilot pornography I was writing drew so much inspiration for this. I still love the story, I still love the framing, I still love the short and brutal way it is written and the translation is very solid.

Wasteland: Stories of the Apocalypse - Yet another re-read. I originally read this in high school and I owe a great amount of creative debt to some of these stories, hugely influential works and I recommend picking this up.

This Shape We’re in - A tiny little novella by the author of Motherless Brooklyn (which is currently sitting in my 'to do' pile). There is no adequate way to describe this that wouldn't sound like a joke, it is Lethem's most unusual and maybe his best for that.

Poetry

In the Shape of a Human Body I Am Visiting the Earth - Mostly translated poetry, this was solidly collected and a great example of Global(tm) Poetry.

One Hundred Apocalypses and other Apocalypses - More microfic really but I liked this. The different ways the world can end, be it physically from bombs or emotionally in a bad text message.

Wound from the Mouth of a Wound - Simply beautiful collection of work by torrin a. greathouse, I *adored* this.

Non-Fiction

Underlands: A Deep Time Journey - This was beautiful, simply put. A deep dive (hehe) into places beneath the earth and the people that spend more time beneath the surface than above it. I especially loved the travelogue in the cordoned off sections of the Paris catacombs, you can really feel the claustrophobia and danger of it all.

Bitch: The Female of the Species - I picked this up solely because it had a picture of a hyena on the cover. I do not regret that, it was great and that is something I seldom stay about pop-academic gender books.

Emergence: Labeled Autistic - Temple Grandin's first autobiography. This has been heavily dated in how she talks about being autistic and she has changed her views on this several times, to the point where depending on the version you pick up there may be several introductions from the author in a sequence reflecting on this. It is rare to see autobiographies from notable autistic women, it is rare for there to *be* notable autistic women, so I am really happy that I read this.

Memento Mori: The Dead Among Us - Mostly a photo book that I picked up while on a trip to MFABoston w/ my girlfriend. This is a great little table book if nothing else.

Infrastructural Brutalism: Art and the Necropolitics of Infrastructure - A somewhat dry but well researched dive into massive infrastructure projects and the death cult attitude that empowers them.

Queering Mennonite Literature - A university press publication, you know the drill w/ these. Good base to start from if you want to get more into the intersection of queer & menno literature, which is why I picked it up after reading a lot of Casey Plett's books.

David Graeber

Bullshit Jobs - Maybe the best that Graeber has been, and also an example of him leaning really hard into the pop-science aspect of his public persona. If you've got an office job that feels completely fake please read this.

The Dawn of Everything - Graeber's last work before his death and... Well I think it is really good, well written, broadly researched, but much like Debt you're going to either agree w/ his premise or not. There are some rather radical takes here. I highly recommend it though.

Debt: The First 5000 Years - There has been a lot of back and forth on this and there will never be a solid answer. I think the arguments made here are fairly strong, pretty convincing, but if you're involved in this academically in any way you're liable to have a lot of strong opinions one way or another as you read it.

LitMags

Clarkesworld: Every sci-fi enjoying homosexual has a Clarkesworld subscription these days so I don't have a lot unique to say about this. Great year for work, I love the regular infusion of translated works as usual, and I hope that the recent business hits they've taken don't impact it too hard. Definitely re-subbing.

Alaska Quarterly Review: There were some good entries to this but for the most part it kind of felt like an 'eating your vegetables' situation. I probably won't renew for the next year, but I don't *regret* picking it up this year either.

McSweeney’s: Solid as ever, though I found the 'halloween' issue they did to be kind of boring overall. Everything else was primarily hits, and I'll be carrying this forward next year.

[veeples]

book recommendations

@lavampira AND @narrativefoiltrope beloveds tagged me! thank you for the tag dani and i'm still soooo thrilled you loved goth western so much <3

tagging: @nerdferatum and @winesharksea and anyone else! tbh if you're a mutual of mine and you're on storygraph hmu, i love following other people and seeing what they're reading.

1. the last book I read:

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty — I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting to tear up from a memoir detailing her year working for a crematory, but it ended up being a very touching experience in understanding how Caitlin went from college graduate to eventual Ask a Mortician (one of my fave youtubers I miss her so much). It is a book that deals with death, both the traumatic and the relatively peaceful, so maybe not the LIGHTEST of reads, but one I actually wanna re-visit soon!

2. a book I recommend:

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin — I got recommended this series by @queerbrujas, and wow! I think if you're someone whose interested for a sort of, soft start into sci-fi, the elements are there and add value, but the emotional arcs and world building that unfolds is just so masterfully done. Once I really got into the first book, I tore through the next two in the series with relative ease.

3. a book that I couldn’t put down:

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo — This is just a super fun fantasy read!! It makes me wanna read more like, fast paced heist sort of novels. Each character in the ensemble has a strong personality so they all stand out from each other, but they complement each other well and offer interesting relationships with each other! I was so enamored by the book I had to run out to a store to buy the sequel the night I finished it.

4. a book I’ve read twice (or more):

The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir — Funny thing is, I almost never re-read books because I feel like, good God I already have so many on my to be read list that I keep adding onto, I don't have time to re-read books. But this series has a ton of re-readability value, and it's almost necessary to take a second or third or fourth pass (depending on how insane you are) to pick up on the subtleties and the continuous narrative of themes that Muir puts down once you get past the memes and lesbians. I'm putting the whole series here because I've read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, and Nona the Ninth 2-3 times now and will probably re-read again before Alecto the Ninth comes out (impatient grumbling).

5. a book on my TBR:

Sterling House by Alix E. Harrow — Can I be completely honest, I actually don't know that much about this book. A librarian gave me a little book magazine when I was picking up some books one day and this book was on the cover. And the cover was just very pretty. I'm a very shallow person, you see. Also a bit like a bird because I see something pretty and I want it. But I also really wanna read Dungeon Meshi, so there's that too.

6. a book I’ve put down:

The Telling Room: A Tale of Love, Betrayal, Revenge, and the World's Greatest Piece of Cheese by Michael Paterniti — This book was honestly such a drag to read. Slow paced and at 80% in, I still hadn't gotten to the confrontation between the original cheesemaker and his best friend who sold his family's cheese and business for money, which is so hyped up. There's a point to it taking so fucking long, and the point is, that's apparently just how the people the author visited told stories. Long winding tales with bunches of offshoots. Probably great as an orally told story. Bit miserable as written word.

7. a book on my wishlist:

The Unclaimed: Abandonment and Hope in the City of Angels by Stefan Timmermans, Pamela Prickett — This one I saw in an e-mail for new books that came out in March, I think, and I have an interest in funeral practices and issues in modern day death management, thanks to being such a big fan of Caitlin Doughty. This book deals with the growing phenomenon of the unclaimed dead, which got touched upon in one of Caitlin's books, but not expanded upon. I try not to buy books if I can avoid it, but this one being so new and probably a little too niche for my library, I'll have to purchase it if I wanna read it!

8. a favorite book from my childhood:

??? — I don't think I have one to speak of that I can remember. I remember really being enchanted with some book about a girl finding a secret garden, so maybe it was Literally just The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgsen Burnett. Or like, I really liked the kid's book about the old lady who swallows a fly. Does that count???

9. a book you would give to a friend:

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson — This book was recommended to me by a friend, specifically the audiobook version. And wow, yeah! I kind of judge audiobook, and really narrator quality, by this one! The narrator put so much love and emotion into narrating the book, which really highlighted the emotional high points and made them punchier. This book may have made cry a little because I am always a sucker about characters who feel they don't fit in anywhere, who feel odd, who feel different, but find support and community and love with other people who feel the same way. So, like, I would definitely give this book to someone if they wanted an introduction to how good audiobooks can be.

10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

The Essential Neruda: Selected Poems by Pablo Neruda — I bought the bilingual version of this book last year so I could see how Spanish is used in poetry, and then found out that he has a complex way of using Spanish so maybe it's not that useful. <3 And then I didn't read it at all, it's still on my bookshelf. Judging me. u_u I'll get to it one day.

11. a nonfiction book you own:

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado — Don't remember how this book got on my radar, but I went out and bought it and was so pleasantly surprised by how the style Machado uses in it to detail her memoir of an abusive relationship. So it's not a light read whatsoever, but just by style alone made it very evocative, it almost reads like literary fiction. I never thought about approaching memoirs or non-fiction in what I figure is a kind of non-standard way, so it stands out from the other non-fiction books I've read.

12. what are you currently reading:

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver — So this is apparently a sort of, like, modern retailing of Charles Dickens' David Copperfield, which I would have got, except like, I'm not that big of a literary nerd. So I had to look that up. Really, it caught my attention because I'm currently re-listening to a fave podcast, Old Gods of Appalachia, and this book is set in like, 80s-90s Appalachia so it's adjacent enough to my interest. So far it is masterfully written and has such a strong voice for the narrator and protagonist. It's also a thick ass book, well over 500 pages which is a bit out of my usual range, but it's been nice to sit down with a longer story that feels like I'm sitting down to listen to the guy tell me his life's story.

13. what are you planning on reading next:

??? — Bruv who knows? I don't plan these things until I'm done with whatever I'm reading now u.u. I have a little gay romance I bought during indie bookstore day and I also promised @sysba to read some other Chinese manhua with some other sad tragic gay boys. It'll probably be that one.

[chaikachi]

since you're caught up on the Locked Tomb, I thought I'd send some asks your way because I'm kind of curious:

1) I've gathered Cam and Pal are your favorite characters, but do you any particular favourite moments/quotes of them? Or just why you love them as characters in general?

2) any plot twists you didn't see coming but liked?

3) any dark horse characters that grew on you over the series or that you'd want to see more of?

EEEE I SURE DID!! Okay, warning for anyone that is not caught up with it or plans to read it, that there are going to be spoilers below. You have been warned!!

Yes, they are my favourites.😔 Friends specifically told me to read the books because they are "very much my flavour" and they were right. Which is very rude of them, tbqh :/// As for the why, it's a lot of things, I think. From a character design perspective, I've always been a sucker for scholarly types like Pal, and you can never go wrong with short hair and double swords like Cam. I like that they have a decent amount of contrast and are quite different from each other in some ways while also being soooo alike in others. From a thematic perspective, all the bits and parallels around devotion, identity, and responsibility. How just by knowing someone, we add 'indelibly to their weight'. How this is explored both as a positive and negative thing. How just by knowing someone else - dare I say, to tame or be tamed by another 👀- can change us irreversibly. How burdening those we care about is something we have to come to terms with, and that being burdened can in and of itself be an act of care. How these themes are exacerbated and mixed with plurality and merging. The ever important question of 'where do you end and i begin'? For moments and quotes, a lot of my favourite things about them are just how they interact with one another (or with other characters). The sort of relationship where words often aren't necessary. How so much of their connection is conveyed in actions. "Tell Cam... never mind, she knows what to do." and the "what to do" is her collecting the fragments of his skull off the floor?? that she glues back together with her own hands?? then travelled millions or billions of light years to meet with the one person that can pull his soul back into it??? Her carrying him, despite the risk and harm it poses to herself, because he doesn't have a vessel anymore??? Pal asking Nona to "give this to Cam" and it's a kiss to the back of her hand???? Sick!! Twisted!! I demand financial compensation for damages!!!! Cam had every right to go sit in the bathtub about that!!! What the hell man!!! But I would be remiss not to mention the conversations they have across the voice recorder when they can't speak face to face, the co-fronting/synergy thing that happens when the protect Nona at the beach, and of course: "Life is too short and love is too long."

I'll admit I was spoiled a bit to some things going in so that skews this answer a bit. There were certainly some things I predicted incorrectly but then was like "OF COURSE THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED, HOW COULD I HAVE ASSUMED DIFFERENTLY". I was not expecting that many people to die in the first book tbh. What happened to the Fourth and Fifth houses hit particularly hard. Was not expecting Gideon to find a decapitated head in Harrow's closet. I think the most surprises I had were in the second book though. Kept asking myself what the heck was going on. The narrator reveal was such an unexpected and pleasant surprise. Like, I kind of figured that was the case but I wasn't expecting that to be how we found out. Camilla showing up somehow out of nowhere?? The full extent of Harrow and Gideon's origins had me at a loss for words. Also the epilogue leading into Nona had me soooooo confused.

Yes. I absolutely adored Augustine. Big fan of his whole vibe; i miss him. Also really liked Magnus, Abigail, and Ortus in the second book. Especially them stepping up and being the Responsible Adults™ Harrow never really had, but always deserved. Also Polyamory Win with both whatever Pyrrha and Dulcie had respectively going on with Cam and Pal aha. Very big fan of Dulcinea in general. From her appearance in htn to popping up in The Unwanted Guest. I don't know how we could see more of her, but I would not be complaining if we did. Muir is really good at characterization tho, i don't know that there have really been any characters I've actively disliked. 🤔

Thank you for asking! I'd love to know some of your fave characters/plot twists too if you feel like sharing!! no pressure tho uwu

[liesmyth]

What’s your opinion on the discourse/analysis that John’s creation and relationship with Alecto is supposed to represent a sexual assault? I personally can see it from a technical point of view but did not come away with that impression at all- like yes there’s a sort of weird sexual undercurrent that could be interpreted as violence but to me it’s just the way that all body/gothic horror has creepy sexual energy. Also the fact that Alecto chose John and gave him his insane power a like a gift of love when he was just a regular dude really throws a wrench in that reading for me. Anyway you have consistently good ASOIF opinions which makes me implicitly trust your opinion of any weird and fucked up relationship.

I think you CAN fit that square peg into a round hole, IF you are determined to look at it through those lenses. It’s not my preferred reading by far but hey! to each their own

Broadly, I don’t like inserting sexual assault in the narrative where there isn’t. If you’ll forgive me for bringing up Star Wars in the year of our Jod 2023, it reminds me a bit of "Jedi tricks are basically rape” discourse. Even if you think something it’s a metaphor for rape, it’s not rape, and I just... don’t see it as a useful reading or as a useful analsysis, since it’s based on something that’s not actually there.

Specifically about TLT: to me, these books are mainly "trapped by the narrative: the series”. It’s not a series about -isms; those are there and inform the story but aren’t the main thesis. It’s a series about people, tragedy, and love as obsession. I’m just... not especially interested in analysis that makes John the incarnation catch-all for all evils—sexual violence, white imperialism, whatever. It isn’t the point of his arc at all, and it’s a lot more boring to me than what we actually get on text (guy who was chosen by a godly power, given no choice, tried to trap it, had a rotten corruption arc). And, to the extent to which one cares what the author has to say about their story, Muir has talked many times about the greek tragedy vibes of the series, and I think that’s a more narratively intriguing take than rape metaphors tbh.

Also. I think a lot about how... look, Muir isn’t coy. If she wanted to write about sexual assault, she would. I find it very interesting personally that the worldbuilding of the Houses includes all sort of bodily autonomy violations done with necromancy EXCEPT sexual assault. For a book so heavy on female/AMAF POVs and quite bleak at times, no character genuinely fears it as a possibility. Rape is just not there. You’re more likely to have your limbs removed with necromancy than to be raped.

This is noteworthy because there are some oblique mentions of sexual assaults in NtN (like Camilla telling Nona to stay away from the guys who want sex from her) and I think this is a very deliberate writing choice by Muir. I think it’s very telling that there’s no mention of sexual assault in the Empire but the narrative makes a point to tell us that there is sexual assault in other places in the galaxy. I think it’s a lot more in line with the nuances of Muir’s worldbuilding to have a Bad Space Empire with teen soldiers and people’s bones used as decoration who also have 0 concept of sexual assault.

(The only character who gets some level of sexually assaulted in this canon is, in fact, the guy who got honeypotted into making a baby he very much didn’t want to make.)

Anyway! This is probs longer than you expected; apologies. I fully agree with you on your John/Alecto take—she loved him, he saw it as a gift, he went in WAY over his head. They’re so fucked up <333

[divorceblogger]

Mid-Year Book Freakout 2023

Thank you for the tag @kazz-brekker! 🌻

1. Best book you’ve read so far this year

This is a hard one but I'm going to rule out the various re-reads I did this year (three!) and pick Rebecca.

2. Best sequel you’ve read so far this year

It's easily Dune Messiah - I don't think it's perfect, but I think I discovered lots of nuances in the series after re-reading the first book and dissecting Dune Messiah in that context has been really fun. The sequel also picks up the thread of the gothic atmosphere the first book was cultivating and continues to delve into that with greater detail which is probably why I grew fond it very quickly. Also Frank Herbert really got his shit together for it and committed to the criticism of empire that he was only really hinting at in the first book without forgetting to care for the characters and sympathise with them which I think really did something for me.

The series has a very TLT-esque balance of narrating the story, now that I think of it, in the sense that there are larger events happening in the universe around the characters while the narrative chooses to zero in on the personal tragedies of a select cast of characters in order to effectively convey the themes that it’s dealing with.

3. New release you haven’t read yet

I haven't really been keeping track of new releases much since I didn't care for a lot of the queer fiction Tor was marketing lately - but Our Wives Under the Sea has been on my radar for a while and it's the latest release I can think of at the moment because the rest of my tbr fully dips into books published pre-2000. I did read A Day of Fallen Night recently though, and it was published in Feb 2023, iirc.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

I'm going to cheat and say Alecto the Ninth although Tamsyn Muir said that release was probably going to be delayed. The only other release I'm looking forward to is The Bone Season #5 coming out next year-ish? (probably 2025 tbh).

5. Biggest disappointment

Books #2 and #3 in the Southern Reach trilogy were rather poorly done. I don't think Jeff Vandermeer is a very good storyteller, but instead has a lot to say about sci-fi and horror as genres - and those things are interesting but I'm not certain they can act as stand-ins for the actual act of storytelling.

I did still enjoy my reread of Annihilation though, but it was probably just nostalgia.

6. Biggest surprise

Wuthering Heights, although I'm not quite certain why. I think I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did.

7. Favorite new author (debut or new to you)

Daphne du Maurier - I'd tried to read and finish Rebecca before, but I really got around to finishing the book this year and it was very, very good. I enjoyed Rebecca so much that I kind of wanted to started My Cousin Rachel immediately; but I might have to put that off for a while because my tbr is very long at the moment.

8. Newest fictional crush/newest favorite character

I'm in Alia Atreides hell currently and I'm uncertain that there's any cure for it.

9. Book that made you cry

Harrow the Ninth! Books rarely make me cry and this was a reread but I still felt plenty emotional.

10. Book that made you happy

Solaris :) I distinctly remember smiling very broadly while I was reading the last couple paragraphs of the book. I think more people should read Solaris and also watch the film that Andrei Tarkovsky made based off of the book. It falls roughly under a category that I like to refer to as sci-fi horror, but it's also very Nona-esque, in the sense that it discusses the human condition of love with brutal honesty (I think basically all the sci-fi books I’ve read this year have dealt with very similar themes, especially with respect to their criticisms of imperial hegemony and environmentalism).

uhh tagging @phantomxblood @jaqobis @jelli-ace @wishesofeternity @honey-and-hibiscus-kingdom @iliyanaofcasimir and anybody else who might be interested in doing the game!

[camgoloud]

loved ur new fic!!! but what was the Implication™ of the following paragraph? :0

“No,” Nona says, and it’s almost a sob. Camilla doesn’t quite understand the frustration in her voice—later, she writes the whole exchange down for Palamedes, as word-for-word as she can remember it, and he agrees that there must be something they’re missing here, although he doesn’t have any more ideas about what—but at the moment she sure as hell sympathizes. “No, no. No.”

hi! i’m glad you liked the fic!

so right before this paragraph nona says something like “i don’t want to hurt myself, i like it here and want to stay” and then cam replies with basically “good because i wasn’t planning on kicking you out” and what i was going for there was… so we know from canon that the tantrums are shortening nona’s life, and we know that SHE knows that too (there’s a bit in there somewhere right after her third tantrum where she says something like “I thought I’d only be sick for a few more weeks but now I think I probably only have a few days,” and i think a few other places where she alludes to knowledge that the tantrums are hurting her even before then, etc.)… so the Miscommunication that is happening here with camilla is basically: nona is saying (obscurely, because even in her moment of post-tantrum vulnerability she doesn't Really want to tell her loved ones this and also doesn't have a Great grasp on language yet), “i don’t want to have any more tantrums because they will kill me faster and i will have to leave this body sooner :(“ and cam is hearing “i don’t want to have any tantrums because I’m scared you will evict me for being a bad roommate and a pain” and responds accordingly with “I’m not kicking you out you can stay as long as you like” and then nona is very sadly like “no, no” because she knows that Actually she probably does not have all that long to be alive in this body at all… none of this can last very much longer, none of it is ever enough, and all the other such phrases that come up throughout the fic (which much like the book nona itself is fundamentally all about Making Do in shit situations where you don't have all the information and don't understand or even necessarily LIKE the way things are, but find a way to love the life you've created for the limited amount of time you do have it anyway, etc. etc.)

i recognize this is all very messy and opaque and definitely not my finest work lol tbh i might go back in and edit the ending of this scene to clean it up some because i’ve never been very satisfied with it anyway, but that is essentially what all of my thoughts were at the time of posting! hope that helped to clarify!

(fic in question is here, by the way)

[st-just]

22 in 22

Rules! Choose 22 books you want to read or goals you want to achieve in  2022. That’s it! It can be a mix of books and goals, or 22 books, or 22 goals…. it’s up to you. Then tag some friends to play along.  

Tagged by @wearethekat (..several weeks ago, but thank you anyway!)

So, goals

1. Read 1 book a week/52 this year 2. Expand my horizons a bit and acquire some culture, read one piece of literature/non-genre fiction/Classic a month 3. 12 pieces of history/rigorous nonfiction, ideally about areas I don’t actually know much about already 4. Read three books not originally written in English

And, specific books

5. Madeline Miller’s Circe, because I absolutely adored Song of Achilles 6. The Murderbot Series. Just, all of it. (number 5 in line for Artificial Condition, soooon) 7. Children of Ruin by Adrian Techaikovsky, because I loved the original and am profoundly curious where he goes with a sequel 8. Rhythm of War, because a friend lent me their very nice hardcover edition with the gorgeous illustrations almost literally a year ago and I should give it back at some point 9. Cyteen and the Faded Sun trilogy and more Cherryh generally 10. She Who Becomes The Sun, which I’ve retained quite literally zero information about except that people have recommended it to me. 11. The Bone Clocks, blind on a rl friend’s recommendation 12. Servant of the Underworld, because I really should give de Bodard a try at some point 13. Gunmetal Gods by Zamil Akhtar, for the title as much as anything tbh (but actually mostly because I got recommended it as a well done sort of flintlock/early modern fantasy) 14. Nona the Ninth is so obvious I actually forgot about it while writing until now 15. Some Jane Austen that isn’t Pride and Prejudice - have olds out for Sense and Sensibility and Persuasion now 16. The Causal Angel, because I liked the other two Jean le Flambeur books and really should find out what hilariously gonzo tranhumanist pulp heist plot the third one is 17. The Jasmine Throne, which I know nothing about but have a positive impression of, and anyway you basically never see Indian-inspired fantasy settings in any detail 18. Hero of Two Worlds, because while I may have essentially zero interest in the Marquis de Lafayette, I like Revolutions enough and enjoyed Duncan’s first book enough to give it a try 19. The Chosen and the Beautiful, because I did quite like The Empress of Salt and Fortune, and I’m strongly in favor of weird genre-bending retellings of public domain classics (I think this is the great gatsby one, anyway?) 20. The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee, because who can resist a subtitle like ‘a biography of cancer’? 22. Hummingbird Salamander, because I loved Annihilation enough I am going to read every other thing Vandermeer writes until I die. 

And tagging uuuh @stinkybreath @lifeattomsdiner @booksandchainmail @circletofcircles @prometheusascendant, having zero idea if any of you were tagged in the last month/are reading much this year.

[fairhairedkings]

tagged by: @missmaxime and possibly other people idk anything anymore and unless i do the tag immediately upon seeing it, i will probably never do it

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

name/nickname: [redacted]

gender: i was gonna say lady but my mom said that you can’t just call all women ladies because you don’t know if they are a lady (which then led to an argument about what makes someone a lady - an argument i don’t think that we ever settled) and i’m not entirely sure that i can in good faith call myself a lady

star sign: scorpiooooooo

height: 5′0″

time: fake

birthday: according to the julian calendar it is ante diem tertium Nonas Novembres

and no i will not elaborate

favorite bands: i never progressed past my emo days tbh, so probably stuff like my chemical romance and early fall out boy. been listening to a lot of ad infinitum lately

favorite solo artists: carly rae jepsen

song stuck in my head: see you in hell - ad infinitum

last movie: birds of prey! (rewatch)

last show: right now i’m watching the story of minglan, the mandalorian, cheat on me if you can, and the lies within. i think the last one that i finished was the last empress?

when did I create this blog: i don’t know how to find that out and am too lazy to look

what I post: shrug. your guess is as good as mine

last thing googled: i am not actually sure. i have a firefox plugin running random google searches at all times

other blogs: no

do I get asks: from time to time. sometimes i’m like ‘wow i wish i got more asks’ and then i get one and i’m like ‘i don’t know what to do with this’

why I chose my url: because of nerd stuff

following: 108 (half of which are inactive by this point)

followers: wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

average hours of sleep: 8. i am a mess with any less than that

lucky number: i don’t have one?

instruments: i played piano as a kid, then trumpet very briefly in high school

what am I wearing: my darth maul sweatshirt! it’s the best. every time that i wear it, i think about the girl in my class last year (and by last year, i mean this year because it was right before quarantine started) who asked me if it was someone from batman and i regret not asking her to marry me.

dream job: something that i can leave at work tbh.

dream trip: at this point??? like, my parents’ house, which is an hour away but people can’t be bothered to wear masks and stay inside so now i can’t even go there. thanks a lot.

but a for real for real trip? i’d love to go back to a bunch of places like istanbul and helsinki. for somewhere that i’ve never been before...it would have to be kazakhstan for family visiting purposes

favorite food: pretty much anything that someone else has made for me. i’d probably kill to be able to have my grandmother’s soup and gnocchi again

nationality: canadian

favorite song: people actually have favourite songs?? i can’t make up my mind like that.

last book read: ugh, you don’t want to know. it was about archival principles. the last book that i read for fun was arturo perez-reverte’s the seville communion, which was...fine.

top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: absolutely none of them, so i’ll just say my top three favourite fictional universes instead. garth nix’s old kingdom series. star wars. middle earth.

i tag: i feel like this has, as usual, gone all the way around so i tag no one. also, who can even count that high?!?!?

[morphogenetic]

why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!!  like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

  they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

 (also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but, 

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good. 

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game. 

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices  in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point:  the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but  some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

[urbantm-blog]

— — — -        *     ♡     ◟      𝙹𝙾𝚈,     𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙾𝙽𝙰     𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙴.     thirty   -   one.     wedding     planner.     aesthetics     include:     neat     collars     and     pleated     skirts,     pastel     shades,     rose     gold     necklaces     hanging     around     a     paled     neck,     an     undying     belief     in     true     love,     dog   -   eared     copies     of     jane     austen     novels,     a     life     lived     through     rose   -   coloured     glasses,     blush     dusted     across     already   -   rosy     cheeks          &          a     half   -   drunk     bottle     of     moscato.

𝟶𝟶𝟷.          𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚂.

full     name.     winona     celeste     joy. nicknames.     winnie,     ‘nona.     hates     ‘nona     with     a     passion. age.     thirty   -   one. date     of     birth.     august     twenty   -   seventh. place     of     birth.     hartford,     connecticut. zodiac.     virgo. nationality.     american. occupation.     wedding     planner. gender     &     pronouns.     cisgender     female,     she/her. sexuality.     panromantic     pansexual. hogwarts     house.     hufflepuff.

𝟶𝟶𝟸.          𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈.

inhales   ...   i  love  winona  celeste  joy  with  all  my  heart,  and  that’s  all  you  need  to  know.

so,  she  was  born  in  hartford,  connecticut  to  a  doctor  and  his  homemaker  wife.  from  the  absolute  get - go,  mary  and  allen  joy  were  the  picture - perfect  ideal  of what  true  happiness  is  meant  to  look  like.  they  had  it  all:  they  were  the  nuclear family  from  heaven    ;    two  kids,  white  picket  fence,  dog  panting  at  their  feet.  they  had  everything  they  ever  needed.

winona  and  her  older  brother  grew  up  very  loved.  their  mother  was  always  at  home  when  they  got  home  from  school,  waiting  to  hear  about  their  days  with  juice and  cookies  already  waiting.  mary  adored  her  children  with  a  passion  unseen  in  most,  and  directed  every  ounce  of  her  undying  affections  towards  them.  winona,  nicknamed  winnie  during  her  childhood,  understands  the  dynamics  of  it  now  but  mary  focused  heavily  on  loving  her  children  so  she  didn’t  have  to  face  the  fact  that  her  husband  of  ten  years  was  cheating  on  her.

mary  and  allen  separated  a  few  months  shy  of  winnie’s  sixth  birthday.  her  mother  sat  both  her  and  her  brother  down  and  quietly  explained  that  ‘mommy  and  daddy  aren’t  going  to  be  in  love  anymore,  and  you  won’t  live  with  daddy  anymore.  you  can  see  him  anytime  you  like,  but  a  lovely  man  said  that  you  can  live  with  me.’   (   this,  of  course,  was  a  light  overview  of  the  nature  of  the  situation:  the  custody  battle  was  quick  and  easy,  with  allen  agreeing  to  pay  child  support  and  accepting  fortnightly  visits  from  his  kids.  mary  loved  them  too  much  to  let  them  go  without  a  fight,  but  it  turns  out  that  she  didn’t  need  to.   )

this  should’ve  absolutely  shattered  her  belief  in  love,  because  as  a  kid  she  saw  her  parents  as  the  absolute  epitome  of  what  love  should  look  like.  it  didn’t,  though,  because  something  else  was  about  to  take  its  place.

for  a  while,  winona  and  her  brother  were  raised  by  their  mother  alone.  mary  did  her  best  on  a  seamstress’s  salary,  taking  up  whatever  jobs  she  could,  and  whilst  they  were  never  rich,  they  were  always  happy.  mary  made  their  clothes,  made  the  best  halloween  costumes,  cooked  up  a  storm  and  never  stopped  to take  time  for  herself  because  her kids  were  her  entire  world.  one  day,  at  one  of her  various  day  jobs,  though,  she  met  a  local  accountant  and  fell  more  deeply  in  love  than  she’d  ever  been.

david  bryant  and  mary  joy  were  a  match  made  in  heaven,  and  by  the  time  winona  was  thirteen  they  were  married.  winona  was  her  maid  of  honour,  and  cried  the  entire  way  through  the  ceremony  like  the  soft  bitch  she  is.

this  is  pretty  much  where  i  stop  inventing  my  own  character  shit  and  start  pulling  directly from  27  dresses.

after  that  wedding,  winona  fell  in  love  with  love.   her  brother  gave  her  shit  for  it, but  she  loved  love.  she  read  jane  austen  and  the  brontë  sisters  like  they  were  the  bible,  fell  down  the  rabbit  hole  of  wanting  to  find  the  one,  and  devoted  all her  time  to  thinking  about  love.

it’s  that  drive,  that  genuine  love  of  love,  that  leads  winona  to  dream  of  becoming  a  wedding  planner.  she  wanted  to  make  sure  everyone’s  happiest  day  was  truly  their  happiest,  so  that  they  could  look  at  each  other  the  way  her  mother  and  step - father  looked  at  each  other  on  their  wedding  day. 

she  got  through  school  with  good  grades,  and  went  straight  into  training  to  be  a  wedding  planner.  mary  would’ve  liked  her  to  carry  on  with  her  studies,  but  winona  was  set  on  what  she  wanted  to  do.  she  got  her  license,  and  started  working  on  her  business  and  her  brand.  she’ll  tell  anyone  who  cares  to  listen  that  working  on  her  business  was  almost  the  happiest  thing  she’s  ever  done.

by  the  time  she  was  twenty - five,  winona  had  already  planned  a  series  of  successful,  beautiful  weddings  for  friends  and  the  like,  and  business  was  thriving  so  she  decided  to  consider  moving  it  to  somewhere  else.  she  looked  around  at  a  few  locations  before  deciding  on  seattle,  and  moved  there  on  her  twenty - sixth  birthday.

she  loves  seattle,  and  loves  planning  seaside  weddings.  she’s  set  up  an  office  in  west  seattle,  and her  business  is  doing  amazingly  well.  she’s  so  proud  of  what  she’s  accomplished,  and  loves  being  part  of  someone’s  special  day.  she  attends  every  wedding  she  plans,  and  cries  at  all  of  them.  she  cries  more  than  is  warranted.

winona  wants  to  be  in  love     !     she  wants  to  be  swept  off  her  feet  the  way  her  mother  was,  like  the  windswept  character  out  of  a  harlequin  romance.

her  aesthetic  is  very  season  1  betty  cooper.  it’s  pastel  colours,  cardigans,  ponytails  and  delicate  necklaces.  she  loves  a  good  skirt.

i  love  her  so  much  and  i’m  never  going  to  shut  up  about  it  tbh

also  please  bring  me  her  brother  /  best  friend  tbh

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 20: 2x19 A Private Little War

Yet again, I feel like it is Friday. It’s not!!

Today’s ep is... unusual. I always think of it as weird because it’s not as optimistic as most TOS episodes; it’s not even a little bittersweet, more like downright bleak. I remember the first time I watched it, thinking, ‘....oh? that’s it then? no solution? we’re just gonna up and leave?’

Appropriate for a very obvious Vietnam allegory, especially one airing in 1967, but still... this is utopian science fiction! Show me people doing better!

It’s not even a complaint because I do think it was very gutsy to air an ep like this and I appreciate that they went there, so to speak.

But tbh it also felt different in other ways, too. It’s hard to put my finger on it... maybe because there wasn’t much sci fi (other than.. everyone being aliens). Maybe it was the extensive amount of time spent on new characters, and how little time was spent on the Enterprise or with most of the crew. Maybe it was the witch.

Anyway, some specific thoughts:

Oh, the brash young Lt. Kirk...exploring a planet for the first time.

Tyree? His “old friend”? Could that be an ex-boyfriend? I’m going to read it that way, just for fun.

Oh, no, Spock!

Twice in five minutes, Kirk was going to just straight up ignore the “don’t interfere, don’t use your weapons” policy--and it was his policy! But in his defense, someone was about to kill his ex-boyfriend, and then someone tried to kill his space husband, so he had his reasons.

M’Benga!!

How is he supposed to concentrate on the Klingons when Spock is hurt?

Thirteen years ago... okay, just gonna do some math--he was 21. That’s a little young for a lieutenant.

Uhura knows her history.

“Old style hand laser.” When do I get one of those?

Everyone’s really ganging up on Kirk here. Rude. Don’t they know his Spock is in the hospital?

So he’s like “screw this, gonna go see Spock now.”

No replacement Vulcan organs on hand? That’s too bad; gonna have to rely on Vulcan self-healing to just like... grow some new ones I guess.

Kirk needs his BFF down on the planet with him.

“Native costumes.”

Kirk is very troubled today, I think. “I’m just going to disobey direct orders so I can see my ex.”

He’s so idealistic, too... Maybe a little naive, but he is like that. He just sees this beautiful planet where the people are peaceful, and maybe it’s a little bit of a Pastoral Fantasy and there’s a bit of paternalism in it but... he’s not entirely wrong. No one should interfere and maybe they are just... better than humans. Like young Jim Kirk found these people and fell in with them as a whole and probably one in particular and I think that’s nice.

Omg fuzzy animal!

“Bones vaporized a native specimen.” That’s one way to put it, mom.

Those wigs are truly terrible.

Bones has nice arms.

They are not carrying Kirk particularly carefully here... just kinda letting his head loll around there

Oh no Tyree’s wife! Sorry, Jim.

“They are compassionate and gentle.”

Aw, gotta keep Jim all nice and warm and snuggly.

Honestly, I love her outfit.

She cast a spell to make him fall in love with her. Well, that’s an explanation.

“It brought up evil beasts from my soul.” Hot.

She immediately knows who “the friend from long ago” is lol. Must have told a lot of stories about Jim. His friend. His special friend. The “friend” of his younger days.

“He was made my brother.” The no-homo short cut for explaining an inexplicably strong male bond.

“Self-induced hypnosis, you say? You mean he’s conscious? He noticed me fondling his hand?”

...Is that a rat king? Oh, no, just a moving root.

McCoy’s like “I gotta learn how to do this.”

Tyree looks like Jeremy Renner in a bad wig.

JAMES??? JAMES YOU SAY? Has literally anyone ever called him James? Tyree’s own little special name for him? I was half-joking about the ex-bf thing but now I’m kinda serious.

Kirk is such a nerd. He just jumps at the opportunity to give a little presentation about the witch people.

Another Homoerotic Thing is the obligatory Female Character who’s now been sexually linked to both of them, providing a sort of bridge of association between the Very Straight Men.

“You will let him die when you have weapons to make him powerful and safe?” She has a good point.

“That’s what’s bothering me: the something we may have to do.”

Bones’s Southern accent really comes out on “killing is stupid and useless”

Scotty is so confused by all this hitting and madness! In his defense, it is straight up weird. Can you imagine Vulcans just, like, hitting each other? In the hospital?

In case you weren’t aware, these references to “20th century wars in Asia” should alert you to the Allegorical Nature of the Narrative.

This is all so sad. I don’t even really have commentary past that, it’s just... they’re both right, and there aren’t good answers. Other than I guess, expelling the Klingons. But even then the damage would probably be done. And Bones is just so good and so pure-hearted. Kirk is too but he’s also practical. And perhaps influenced by magic? I find that rather unnecessary to explaining his thought process here. He’s already gone rogue and in a sense, he’s in over his head. And he already has an inherent motivation to protect his friend.

Ah ha, Jim’s romantic music is playing. I don’t entirely get this scene outside of having an obligatory Jim Kiss scene lol. And to show how good Tyree is. And perhaps how mercenary Nona is?

I must say, I love this animal!

And I love Tyree. He doesn’t want to use weapons; he doesn’t want to fight; he doesn’t want to kill; and he won’t kill even when he sees Nona with another man.

The moment Jim took the rock from Tyree... so charged...

Flintlocks? Serpents? Really time to confuse Scotty now.

So it really does end with “Well that’s just how it is and how it has to be bye now.”

Another weird thing is that this is all tied to the Klingons, like they essentially started it, but we don’t really know what happens to them. Like, they broke the treaty, and Kirk and Bones have proof of that. Will this cause a much greater Diplomatic Incident? Will they continue arming the villagers, forcing the Federation to continue arming the hill people? To some degree, this doesn’t really matter--this ep isn’t about the Star Trek Extended Universe, it’s about breaking down the situation in Vietnam through the use of metaphor, but still. Questions are raised.

I think this is quite an ambitious episode, and even though I think in general it feels...unusual, I tentatively think the level of ambition is on par with S1.

I had mixed feelings about Nona. I loved her whole aesthetic and her witchy woman vibes and I do enjoy a Strong Female Villain. I think she was interesting in that she wasn’t really on either side--I got the impression that the witches were neither villagers nor hill people, and she really didn’t seem to have allegiance to anyone but herself. She wasn’t faithful to Tyree and she wanted to give the phaser to the villagers at the end, I suspect for the exact reason she said: she considered their leader to be the stronger one. She was also a necessary story element in a way, because the villagers were being egged on by the Klingons, but the hill people weren’t really egged on by anyone. Furthermore, I thought it was notable that, despite her power both literal and narrative, she was still subject to disrespect and sexual assault by the village men, which I didn’t see as punishment but more like... a commentary on gender, in a way.

All that being said... the Bad Woman made me do it is a little... not sure how I feel about THAT lol.

This was a very interesting Kirk and Bones episode. It really showed them both off well, and their friendship. And of course we see a lot of Kirk here: his history, his idealism, his optimism, but also how he is more pragmatic than Bones, and used to being the Captain that makes hard decisions, without even Starfleet backup.

Nice to see Bones showing off his bad ass side too.

So here’s the real question: is Tyree pre-Gary Mitchell, or from one of their “off” periods in the on-and-off relationship? Mom and I have decided he’s pre-Gary and I think that’s right. The 13-years-ago clue is a better one than the lieutenant clue, but if Kirk really was 21, he was way too young to have known Gary yet. Also I really do think he was at his most naive and impressionable pre-Gary.

Woah it is too late and I am TIRED.

Next is Return to Tomorrow, which is one of my FAVE eps. A really sleeper classic imo.

[daddysgoodgirl]

1, 2, 4, 6, 12, 13, 15, 16, 20, 21, 26, 27, 28, 31, 32, 34, 36, 46, 47, 48, 52, 53, 54, 56 & 59

(this is gonna b a long one folks)

1. selfie

i have pics on my page silly goose

2. what would you name your future kids?

girl - nancy lee

boy - connor joseph

4. what are you looking forward to?

leaving my job and starting college

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

yes very hard, it’s hard for me get over friends and loved ones

12. what is something you want right now?

to finish all my art projects i started

13. how do you feel right now?

extremely exhausted from work

15. personality description

umm i don’t really know enough about myself to answer this, because whatever i say will most likely be a projection of how i want to be and not how i actually am. but a lot of people say i’m too giving and it’s easy to take advantage of, on the flip side i’ve had some people call me selfish/they thought i was mean when they first met me ?? idk

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

yes, multiple times, growing up i was taught that women shouldn’t speak their mind and keep unkind thoughts to themselves. but lately, i’ve been speaking my mind more and letting myself say exactly what i need to say. i don’t want anymore regrets because i didn’t speak up for myself.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

brutus

or circles (RIP MAC)

21. age and birthday?

early 20s, june 30th

26. idol(s)

tbh i don’t have any crazy idols, just my nona she’s super cool

27. things i hate

i strongly dislike lying/being fake, especially w me there’s no reason to ever lie

28. i’ll love you if…

you’re genuine and kind hearted. i can even look past mistakes if you meant well.

31. 3 random facts

1. cats have 230 bones

2. lobsters have bladders in their heads

3. sharks have existed longer than trees

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

guys, but i want more girl friends !! the position to b my best friend is open girlies 🥺👉👈

34. most embarrassing moment

considering that i embarrass myself on a daily, probably the time i threw up in my friends car while he was confessing his feelings for me, then i had a back spasm that was so bad i had to go to the ER w throw up on my lap and a grown man crying bc i told him i didn’t like him the same way.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

start a business

get married to my SO

and go to australia

46. what my last text message says

“all women do b powerful tho”

47. turn ons

kindness for others- sounds weird but like when my SO helps a stranger w something i think that’s hecka cool

48. turn offs

the opposite so just constant negativity towards others, being rude and stuff

52. something i’m talented at

crafting, specifically crocheting and knitting

53. 5 things that make me happy

seeing others be happy/excited for something

snuggling w my SO

FOOD

my cats hehe

acnh do be giving me serotonin

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

i have to wake up at 4am n yuck

56. favourite food(s)

any type of italian food, sushi, beeeeefff

59. why i joined tumblr

i’ve been on tumblr since 2012, when i first joined i was a little scene kid so a lot of the people i looked up to had one, then i made a new one when i was older because i was looking for an aesthetic that i liked, and a few crummy blogs later i started this blog ! however, i was not smart back then and tagged a lot of my content as things that i didn’t know were nsfw(because when i first got into agere there was no subcategory of agere if you know what i mean) and i was a minor, which then got my blog a really crummy reputation in the community.