#the only way i can stomach horror is with comedy

[stinkypeanutbutter]

sbg sleepover hcs because I’m silly

Aiden brings a butt ton of junk food. Tyler balances it out with the healthy crap so they don’t get diabetes.

With a LOT of bargaining, and I mean a lot, they come up with hairstyles for Ashlyn. It’s only rarely she gives in, but it makes the sleepover worth while.

sleeps at Aidens house the most just cause it’s huge, and huge means lots of hiding spaces, and it also means getting lost easily (Taylor)

they have like scheduled calendars for each movie night on who gets to choose. It goes in some kind of order depending on who went first last time.

Aiden and Taylor choose the horror or drama movies, Tyler goes for comedy, believe it or not. Logan goes for any genre of sci - fi or fantasy (he also loves doctor who) , ben likes to put on musicals ( bless him) , and ash doesn’t have a preferred taste, but she really likes disaster movies ( and comedies with Tyler sometimes. Taylor also loves kids movies like trolls, MLP, uhhh idk any 😭)

aiden also puts on the weirdest things he could find. Put on human centipede once, got banned from picking movies for the next 4 nights

dinner ? They just order pizza or burgers. If they’re feeling adventurous, they make something together ( 60/40 chance of succeeding )

Probably do contests and play random board games. Aiden has a ton of them because he would play in his sad little room against himself when he was feeling energetic. ( help )

Tyler forgets his crap sometimes, so he just borrows from the others like a loser

They tell spooky stories at like 11pm just so when the clock hits twelve they drop down and become paranoid about everything

despite not speaking, Ben tells the best scary stories and it’s hilarious cause he’ll go out of his way and plant some fake audios around the house ( or ARE they ? 😦 )

ashlyn would keep her braids in no matter what, even if they keep getting stepped or rolled on or pulled or -

sleeping ? They plan on staying up after 12 ofc, but when they do fall asleep it’s kinda a mess . Ben sleep like he’s about to be dropped into his grave, at least so he’s able to react quick enough to whatever might be bad in the area . Logan sleeps like a caterpillar in its chrysalis stage , unless with the group , then he kinda just lays on his side if he’s comfy . Tyler likes sleeping on his stomach cause he’s afraid something might punch a hole through it again, so just in case . . Taylor hugs things in her sleep. Don’t matter who, just be her stuffed animal for a while and she’ll let you go and roll on her side. Aiden has a similar issue. But he only does this cause he never really had anything to actually cuddle up on besides his pillow so. . he’ll hug on to whoever is closest ( Ash or Ben ) . They don’t mind it , I mean Ash gets trapped but she’ll deal with it later. If no one is around or close enough, he’ll just curl up into a little ball like he did when he was younger ( habit ).

Pancakes in the morning let’s gooo !!!!!!! Most of them collectively use a bunch of whipped cream . I mean , who doesn’t ? Lame - o’s. Aiden likes to see how many pancakes he can stack on top on eachother before it falls

No pancakes ? Cereal it is . Ash likes Frosted Flakes cause of the texture, and how they don’t crunch as loud when you chew em. Plus, they’re tasty. Taylor got them captain crunch and lucky charms. Tyler likes Honey Nut Cheerios cause he’s basic , but can’t resist honeycombs . . Cause he’s still basic . ( They slap tho idc what y’all say 🫠 ) Logan prefers fruity pebbles ( me fr ) or cinnamon taste crunch . Ben doesn’t eat too much cereal, but he likes rice Krispys cause their soft on his throat. Aiden likes whatever, he’s probably gonna add random crap in it anyway lol

that last part wasn’t really a sleepover headcanon but uhms ignore that 😅😅😅😿

[anomaly-hivemind]

Collar ID || collaring w/Yuri Briar x Afab! Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Word Count: 1609

Tags: dom! reader, POC reader,flogging, latex, cock stepping, groveling, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, degradation, praise kink, squirting

I was sitting in bed, bonnet on snuggly , with a can of fruit in hand. Watching some random comedy horror that I found on netflix. It was only to pass the time while I waited for my boyfriend. It was around the usual time that Yuri would be on his way home if nothing came up. I scroll a bit on my phone when I get a notification from Yuri.

“Gonna be a bit late coming home, I got a bit of paperwork I want to finish. “ The message read and I let out an annoyed sigh. I don’t feel like waiting for him to finish work because I know that just means he's not going to get home until I was long asleep. I smile, as a mischievous idea comes to mind.

I take my oversized top off, my naked breast getting the blunt of the cold air from this bedroom. I lay on my stomach and posed so that my butt was in the view of my camera. I push my tits together and set my timer so I can take a photo. When the picture was taken I sent it to Yuri.

“Can't wait for you my pet, I miss you ;]” I sent the message right after the photo and waited.

Read.

Wow this was my breaking point. He couldn’t even dignify my unadulterated sexyness with a whiny emoji or anything!

I dropped my phone on the bed and went to my closet. I pushed past my regular clothes to where all my lingerie was. Silk was soft, coquette, not the vibe I was looking for. Lace? No, no it still had an air of delicacy.

Here, perfect. Latex. I hadn’t worn this set before. I smirk as I slip into the snug latex body suit. The suit hugged my curves tightly, had a boob window, the back out and the crotch exposed. If anything, it was a shame, I didn’t wear it as often. I sent Yuri another photo this time in my bodysuit.

“I don't appreciate you leaving me to read ):( ” I text him, and again get left on read but faster this time. What the hell is he doing?

A few minutes pass and the house opens and an out of breath boyfriend walks into the house. Yuri walks over to me with a desperate look on his face, his strong grip on my shoulders.

“I’m so sorry baby,” Yuri dropped to his knees and kissed me on my neck.

“I’ll only give you a light punishment since you came home earlier than normal.” I kept a straight face even if his kisses felt good.

“You're still gonna punish me… but I came home early.” yuri whined as he tried to give me the puppy dog eyes. Too bad for him that shit hardly works on me.

“Maybe if you beg for my entire forgiveness I'll let you go.” I smirk, my words were a set up and I'm sure he knows it. But that doesn’t matter, he was going to do what I said anyway.

Yuri dropped to his knees in front of me, he leaned down and placed a kiss on my foot. A smile grows on my face as he does, I stare at his cute butt. He looked out at me and I could see the lust in his eyes. I moved down to sit on our bed, he started to kiss up from the ankle to my upper calf.

“Strip.” I lean over to a drawer beside the and up out a dog collar, my eyes never leaving Yuri. I watch with a smile as he slowly takes off his uniform. I clip the collar around his neck, the cold dog tags make his skin shiver. He was shirtless and was making his way out his pants. He was hunched over in his boxers, his erection twitching and was practically begging for my attention. I pressed my foot against his crotch, giving his cock a light shove. He let out a little whine that made my cunt throb. I tilt his chin up so that he is looking up at me.

“So do you have something to tell me, pet?” I hold his face in place, squishing his cheeks slightly.

“I’m sorry….”

“For?” my toes pinch his balls and he tenses up, the dog tags of his collar jigging as he moves.

“Leaving you on read?” I nod.

“And” I ran my hand through his hair.

“Always co-coming home late.”

“Good boy, What do you think I should do now? Forgive you or pushish you?” my smirk grew a bit as i already knew what my little freak would say.

“My love, please forgive me, I want to taste you” he shuffled a bit closer, pushing my foot harder against his weeping dick. He whimpered from the pressure but I wasn’t going to cave. I could feel his dick growing harder under my foot and pressed my hut down harder.

“You would like that wouldn't you.” I adjusted the strap of my latex bodysuit, loosening the strings so I could move it better as I pleased. I put more pressure on his cloth cock practically stepping on him and he groaned.

“Please, my love…” Yuri moaned breathlessly.

“No. You won’t tempt me, you seducer, and I’m sick that you keep trying to get out of your punishments.

“But-“

“Hush, Pet, now bend over. I’ve had enough of this disrespect.

Yuri gulped hard, “Yes ma’am,”

Yuri walked over to the storage drawers in the closet and pulled out. A leather flog, I rubber by thumb over the braided handle of the flog I make sure to pull him fully out of his boxers.

“Baby, please.” he pouts and holds back a whimper.

“You better keep count or I'm going to start over, nut i guess I slut like you would like that.” I swing the flog over his asscheek.

“One…” Yuri made sure to say through his yelp. We repeat this fourteen other times before I'm somewhat satisfied to stop. Yuri had hot adorable tears threatening to drop down his face, it would almost make me feel bad if I hadn't known how much he enjoyed this.

He had his tell-tell signs; like how his dick was pretty much begging to cum or how he tried to hold back moans and groans with each solid impact I made on his body.

“Okay now if you can make me cum I’ll forgive your little behavior,” I said, placing one hand on my hip and the other soothingly rubbing Yuri‘s ass.

“Yes ma’am,” Yuri said, straightening up.

I laid back on the bed, spreading my legs open to expose my glistening pussy. Yuri inches closer, I could feel his breath on my folds.

“Go ahead, I know a loose man like yourself is dying without your fix,” I said and without hesitation Yuri dived in.

His tongue runs a slow stride to my clit, he was savoring the taste as he let out a pleased murmur. He was slurping up my juices like he didn't drink anything in months. Lapping up my arousal like he was on a mission and knowing my lover boy, he definitely sees this as such. He was a military man after all, working for the police and such.

But none of that was really important right now. I was too busy feeling the great action of Yuri sliding his fingers into my wetness. The way he curled his digits against my walls, made me fall back onto the bed and let out a moan. He alway knew how to get me going, how to push me closer and near to the edge. I could feel him smirk against my cunt and I pulled his hair in a quick yank that made him moan.

Yuri starts to focus more on my clit, making sharp circles on the nub, and long sucks that make my toes curl. His fingers thrusted onto my spot and I let out a short cry, he was going to make me cum any second now.

The feeling was winding up in my core, a coil ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re such a good slut, isn't that right?” I asked, running my fingers through Yuri’s hair. He hummed, against my muff the soft vibrations traveling through the mound of flesh..

As Yuri’s fingers stroked my g-spot and he sucked on my clit, something finally snapped. Warm fluid gushed from my pussy making a mess on Yuri’s face but like a good pet he lapped it up, and licked off what ran down my folds. My hips bucked from the sensitivity of having just cum, into the air and subsequently against Yuri’s face.

“Fuck. That was good.” I said breathlessly, my body sliding down so I was laying down more than sitting up.

“Does that mean all is forgiven… Ma’am” Yuri asked with his pathetic boy slut face.

“Fine, I forgive you now. But if you do that shit again I'll come up with a way harsher punishment. Understand. “ I said sternly even if I was a bit out of breath my point came across the way it was supposed to be and that's all that mattered.

“Yes ma'am.” he nods and licks his lips off my juices.

“Good now, come up here, I want to cuddle.” I pull him into a hug as soon as he gets close enough to fall into my grasp.

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober ’s prompt #3: Breeding/pregnancy

Deleted scene from The Selfish Gene (Butchlander)

Warnings: Let’s see. Homelander is pregnant. Homelander has both male and female equipment. He’s carrying Billy Butcher’s child. If that sounds inexplicable, well, it all makes perfect sense in the fic (or not). This deleted scene is supposed to be comedy, but ymmv. Could also be horror.

Inspired by the finale of a long conversation about mpreg with chatlander:

“What’re you always checking in there?” Billy asks. Homelander shifts his gaze off of his belly —off of Lena’s innocent adorable little face— and turns his attention to Billy who’s sprawled out on the bed, underneath him. It’s true that he got distracted, even while moving up and down his cock.

“Nothing. I can’t take a look at my baby once in a while?”

“Look, you asked to f—”

Homelander shushes him. “Stop swearing, she can hear.”

Billy raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You think she’s gonna pop out of you preloaded with all sorts of curse words she heard?”

“Maybe!” Homelander glares. “Just because most babies don’t learn, doesn’t mean she won’t.”

“Alright, in any case, you’re the one who wants to get it on, and then the entire time we’re doing it, you’re staring down at her, and- you’re flippin’ doing it again! While I’m talking to you!”

Homelander shifts his gaze off of her.

“Is she able to look clean through your skin or something?” Billy asks and Homelander’s eyes flee to the side in spite of himself.

“What? No…” he says, trying to sound neutral but he can hear he’s protesting a little too much. He guesses that telling Billy this sort of truth would be offputting. “No, what makes you say that?”

“Because you’ve been babytalking to your stomach and making faces as if she’s looking at you the last few days.”

Homelander gets a guilty look. He’s been less circumspect than he thought, because a few days ago, he feels like his relationship with Lena changed dramatically.

~~~

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten cottage cheese in my life,” Homelander grumbled as he peered into the container he just opened. It smelled strange, and it looked lumpy. “You better have wanted this, because I have no idea what possessed me to order it otherwise,” he said. He talked to Lena throughout the day, whenever Billy wasn’t home. He knew it would sound a little bit insane to any bystander. Maybe it was a way of coping with his sense of loneliness, but it was a vast improvement over how he used to talk to himself, in the bad room, and then later on in his own apartment. He’s left that behind with Vought. He’d never be unkind to his own child. Lena might not talk back, or respond in any way really, but that was fine by him. She should be able to hear him now, if the info online and in the baby books was to be believed. And if she was anything like him, she might also be hearing the neighbor three floors up and two to the right having an irritatingly vacuous conversation over the phone discussing some reality show finale.

He dipped the spoon in and tried the cottage cheese. “It’s not that bad actually,” he said through a mouthful. He took the entire container with him and put his feet up on the coffee table to alleviate some of the swelling in his ankles. The cottage cheese hit some weird spot he didn’t know he even had just right. He ended up eating the entire container. “Good choice, baby,” he said, smiling, and glanced down only to see Lena’s upturned face, eyes wide open and staring up at him through the veils of amniotic fluid, tissue, skin. He felt a little taken aback at how penetrating and focused her gaze was. He moved his hand toward her, then moved it to the side and waved it. Lena’s eyes tracked it perfectly.

“Holy sh- smokes. Hi baby,” he whispered, breath catching when he saw her swivel her head back up towards him. “I’m not even sure your eyes are supposed to be open yet,” he said to no one in particular. She was definitely on the early side for every milestone, but babies allegedly didn’t focus their eyes until after they were born. Babies also probably didn’t see much inside the womb without penetrative vision though.

“Maybe we won’t tell your other daddy about this. He might get weirded out,” Homelander said to her, conspiratorially, as if she might understand him.

Billy might say he’s fine with the idea of their daughter having all the superpowers he has, but Homelander didn’t want to push it any more than necessary. All in due time. His super senses were the powers ordinary people seemed most worried about, somehow. He looked down and Lena was staring up at him again. She definitely seemed particularly interested in his face.

“You’re adorable. I love you so much,” he said, shivering because now it really felt like he was talking to a real person. He kissed his fingertips and touched them to his belly. Lena blinked. “Can’t wait to hold you.”

~~~

“I’m just- I’m pretending she can see and hear me. It’s for my own sake. She’ll be out in a couple of months, anyway.”

Billy raises his eyebrows, tilting his head and Homelander can’t stand it, not when they agreed not to lie to each other, and Billy seems to have a pretty good sense when he’s lying.

“Okay, fine, yes, she can see me, and she looks up at me a lot, and it’s really hard to ignore her. So sue me.”

“And you still want to do this?”

“Well why not?”

“I don’t know.” Billy grimaces. “It feels wrong to have her coming along for the ride if she can see and hear everything.”

Homelander scoffs. “She’s not going to know what we’re doing.”

“And yet she’ll remember the word ‘fuck’?”

“Fine! Say whatever you want.” Homelander rolls his eyes. “God forbid I stifle your self-expression by cutting a few words out of your vocabulary.”

“Those few words are very useful and versatile.”

Homelander cracks a smile. He tries to start moving up and down again, but Billy seems to have gone soft inside him, and he opts to squeeze him with some kegels, and just tilt his hips back and forth instead. Billy runs his hands up Homelander’s kneeling legs, and ends up holding his hips, tapping his fingers against his lovehandles.

Maybe it’s a bad position. Homelander’s hips have started to ache if he puts them under any kind of pressure. The doctor said it was supposed to happen— that all of his joints are looser at this stage of pregnancy, but especially his hip joints. Knowing it’s from pregnancy makes him sort of relish those aches though. He starts to move himself up and down, now that Billy’s body is back in the game. At least he tends to have powerful orgasms when his thigh muscles are working hard. He’s soon distracted by Lena looking around.

“Stop looking at her, you’re throwing me off,” Billy grumbles. “Now I’m wondering where she’s looking.”

“She just looks… a little scared… about why everything is… bouncing around her…” Homelander says between movements. Then his voice changes as he looks at her. “Baby, don’t be scared…” He rubs his belly.

“Oi, this just isn’t going to work. I can’t look at you baby talking to her and just keep going.”

“Well, tough, she’s my priority, and she will be for the foreseeable future. If she’s scared of our sex, I’m going to comfort her.”

“She’s not the only one scared of our sex right now.”

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo,” Homelander says, not catching himself before saying the f word because he’s fed up with Billy’s arbitrary turnoffs. He pulls himself up off of Billy’s cock, and lies down beside him, turned to the wall.

“You cross with me?” Billy asks, and he does sound apologetic.

“No, just... do it from behind. That way you don’t have to see me watching her.”

“You even want this?” Billy asks, positioning himself and slowly entering him from behind.

“Yes I want this!” Homelander says impatiently. He’s been pretty sexually frustrated, easily turned on throughout the day by the extra blood that seems to just hang out around his uterus and pelvis. But jacking off was becoming physically awkward, to the point where he’s found it easier to reach behind, and snake his hand between his legs and stroke his dick or clit that way. But Billy can’t possibly guess all of that. So he tacks on a quiet ‘please’, and sighs happily when Billy grips his thigh and starts to move.

AO3 link

[fibula-rasa]

Favorite New-to-Me Films

January ’24

READ on BELOW the JUMP!

(listed in order of collage above, L to R)

Eleven P.M. (1928)

[letterboxd | imdb | kanopy]

Synopsis: Sundaisy, a violinist, tries to fulfill a friend’s dying request to ensure his son is raised away from the criminal element of the city. Unfortunately, Sundaisy is duped by a phony priest, and the boy grows into a low-level crime boss. After a series of misfortunes spurred on by the boy over the course of decades, Sundaisy’s family is nearly ruined. However, Sundaisy’s will for vengeance leads to supernatural consequences. All this is couched in a frame story of a man trying to meet an 11 p.m. deadline.

This is easily my favorite first-time viewing of the month. The synopsis above admittedly does not capture the mystical/transcendental attitude that Eleven P.M. reflects. This is the only film Detroit-based Richard Maurice ever directed, but it displays sophisticated ideas about film storytelling, using an array of devices in inventive ways. It’s always a treat to be reminded of how creative and exciting independent filmmaking can be in America. If you want to check this one out, I advise you to keep an open mind and not approach it with an overly literal, nitpicky mindset. Let Richard Maurice take you on this ride and I don’t think you’ll regret it!

I watched this on the Pioneers of African-American Cinema box set, which I can’t recommend highly enough. The films are outstandingly curated and contextualized and the set showcases an often-overlooked but indispensable part of American cultural history. A lot of the films are also available on streaming through kanopy, which you may be able to access with your library card if you live in the US.

---

Lea on Rollerskates / Lea sui pattini (1912)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: Lea isn’t allowed by her parents to go rollerskating with a friend, so she decides to skate in her own bedroom. She proceeds to wreak havoc in the home before an accidental self-defenestration sets her free to wreak havoc at the roller rink instead.

A jam-packed, stunt-heavy bit of nonsense led by Lea Giunchi. I’ve watched quite a few of her films now and I’ve learned this is pretty standard for her. I love each and every pratfall.

---

Two Girls are in Love with Foolshead / Le due innamorate di Cretinetti (1911)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: Cretinetti is dating two girls at the same time. The girls decide to duel, but Cretinetti is the one who loses… repeatedly.

I’ve finally gotten around to watching more Andre Deed films and this one was a highlight for January. I don’t know who the skinny woman is, but she and Valentina Frascaroli are great together.

---

X (2022)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: A crew of filmmakers leave Houston, TX for the country in order to film a farm-themed porn. The producer of course did not disclose the nature of their stay to the elderly property owners. Said owners have ulterior motives in renting their cabin and respond violently to the group.

Appreciative of all of Ti West’s work, and X has so much going on and so much to say that I originally typed out two full pages (single spaced) on it before I knew it. I won’t be sharing those two pages because I think there are a few points on the approach to gore in recent horror movies that I need to mull over more. For now though, I’ll just say, I didn’t enjoy X at all, but I deeply appreciate what Ti West is putting out there. I probably won’t watch it again and I’m going to be sure my stomach is prepared for whenever I get around to Pearl (2022).

---

The Hayseed (1919)

[letterboxd | imdb | Silent Comedy Watch Party]

Synopsis: Fatty wants to marry Molly, but so does the sheriff. Buster tries to keep the general store in working order while the sheriff plots against Fatty.

Luke the dog is one of my top 5 movie dogs of all time. I’ve never made an official list, but I know in my heart that Luke is at the top. Also, I adore how many modern professional wrestling moves you end up seeing in Fatty/Buster collaborations! In this instance, note the dance sequence with the lady who gets swung around wildly.

---

The Ghost Ship (1943)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: Tom Merriam, a young officer, reports for his first commission on a long haul trip on the Altair. The captain has a bit of a strange vibe, but the newbie likes him, at first. As crewmen perish under the captain’s leadership, and the captain’s lectures take on a more sinister tone, Tom knows he needs to act to save the remaining crew and the ship. 

Checked this out as I was on a Val Lewton kick not knowing much about it beforehand. I did not expect it to be a movie about fascism done in microcosm. So, if you were looking for a movie about ghosts or a Flying Dutchman, this ain’t it. Its off-beat structure amped up the tension, though the denouement was a little too pat. Cinematography was fantastic, as you might expect from Nicholas Musuraca. I hope Sir Lancelot got two checks for how much his singing contributes to the movie. Richard Dix is such a skilled actor in everything I’ve seen him in, but he is pitch-perfectly terrifying in this movie.

---

Miss Pinkerton (1932)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: A nurse who’s bored with hospital work gets assigned to an old woman who’s ailing after a big shock: finding the dead body of her nephew. The detective on the case asks the nurse to gather reconnaissance for him at the house and she gets all the excitement she can stomach as a result.

Miss Pinkerton is a pre-code gem I somehow have never seen before, despite my devotion to Joan Blondell. The plot and characters are interesting, the cinematography (done by Barney McGill) and staging of the film is very dynamic and Joan Blondell brings so much to Miss Pinkerton with her signature effervescent sass. It’s also just over an hour long, so it would make a great watch for one of those evenings where you’re indecisive but want to find something compelling but compact.

---

Phil-for-Short (1919)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: Damophilia “Phil” Illington is a free-spirited tomboy brought up by a Greek-professor father and his right-hand man, Pat. Her lack of lady-like decorum raises the ire of two town elders, who are also the local killjoys. When her father passes away, one of the elders abuses his position of power to force her into a conservatorship. Phil disguises herself as a boy and hightails it with Pat. While on the lam, Phil makes the acquaintance of a young woman-hating Greek professor. Through a set of misadventures, Phil and the Professor end up married, but it takes quite a bit of work after the marriage for them to find happiness with one another.

Great characters and performances and I enjoyed marriage not being treated as the resolution or an end point to the story. It’s also very endearing to see such a pervasively queer story about a man and a woman getting together.

---

The Mystic (1925)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: A con artist enlists the help of Hungarian travelling carnival performers to enact a phony medium scheme against the hoi polloi of New York City.

Tod Browning is a sure-bet filmmaker for me and The Mystic was no exception. Highlights for me were: the execution of the seance sequences, Erte’s gorgeous costumes for Aileen Pringle, and an ending that I hoped would happen but assumed wouldn’t!

---

There Ain’t No Santa Claus (1926)

[letterboxd | imdb | Silent Comedy Watch Party]

Synopsis: When Christmas rolls around, Charley doesn’t have enough money to both pay the rent and buy his wife a present. He uses his $80 to buy her a watch, instead of the rent, and his nasty landlord/next-door-neighbor steals the watch. Christmas Day turns into a free for all, when both Charley and his landlord dress as Santa and plan to enter via their respective chimneys for their respective children. 

Well-paced, great comeuppance, and very well-executed gags. Additionally, Charley Chase looks absolutely outrageous in his Santa wig and he knew it!

---

This one didn’t make it into the collage, but it’s still on the list:

Little Moritz Runs Away With Rosalie / Little Moritz enlève Rosalie (1911)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Synopsis: Little Moritz loves Rosalie and wishes to marry her, but her father objects. So, of course Rosalie and Mortiz run away together in his funky little flivver, but dad and the family dog give chase.

Most of this short is the chase sequence and it’s very well executed. Sarah Duhamel is so cute and so is her family dog. The location shooting is nicely done (was this shot in Nice?) This charming poster captures the vibe of the short perfectly:

---

In January we were hit with a nasty winter storm and, while we were relatively lucky in my neighborhood, we were without internet for a third of the month. So, we ended up relying on our home video collection, which accounts for five of the films above and me re-watching two seasons of Soap and Fritz Lang’s Niebelungenlied (1924). 

Despite the holdup, I continued my “Lost, but Not Forgotten” series with The Dancer of the Nile (1923) and started a limited spin-off series, “How’d They Do That?” about special effects and stunts in the silent era. 

I also made themed gif & still sets for: Miss Pinkerton, Dementia (1955), and A Christmas Carol (1971).

Here’s to a less eventful February! And, as always, if you’re interested in any of these films, but have specific content warning needs, feel free to ask me.

[maggie0li]

any sombra fics you can recommend ? :0

Had to dust off the old fimfiction for this one aha :'D

I have a pretty high standard when it comes to sombra stuff, I only have about 100 fics favourited among the 2000 something or however many about him. I used to more frequently read mlp fanfiction but I don't really anymore :/ season 9 kinda ruined Sombra and sadly a lot of the new fics use his new personality (though to be fair he didnt have much of one before LOL)

Anyway here is my top 10 list of Certified Sombra Bangers (Sombrangers?). In no particular order:

Regarding Falling Villains (naturalbornderpy)This was one of the first fics I ever read and it is AMAZING. It's a Twibra fic, not really that serious and it was more lighthearted, it's about Twilight and the Princesses trying to reform him. naturalbornderpy is one of my favourite fanfic writers as well, he's amazing at writing funny in-character humour :D he also has a few other fics about Sombra but I think this is his best one

Sombra: Saga of Hatred (HiddenUnderACouch) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/125519/sombra-saga-of-hatred This is like a biography of Sombra, basically going through how he ended up as King of the Crystal Empire. It is amazing and impactful and I think about it way too much even to this day, when I read it in 2019. Sadly it was never finished and its last update was in early 2017 but I'd highly recommend it, it's incredibly high quality and surprisingly immersive

A Sparkle in the Darkness (tom117z) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/414136/a-sparkle-in-the-darkness Omg, this fic was so amazing. It's basically about where Twilight gets curious about Sombra after his defeat and begins reading up about him. There's a bit of a twist I won't spoil, but it's mainly about Twilight and Sombra's relationship (not Twibra shipping though). Absolutely S-Tier :D

Dinner With the King (naturalbornderpy) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/219841/dinner-with-the-king Another one of naturalbornderpy's fics, but this one isn't so funny and is more of a horror-drama from what I can remember. In the height of his initial reign over the CE, Sombra takes six guests to his castle to have dinner every month. And none ever return. Stomach-twisting and haunting. Sombra is more villainous in this one than Regarding Falling Villains

The Crusader King (naturalbornderpy) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/274736/the-crusader-king Okay, yeah, another naturalbornderpy story. What can I say, I'm a fan. This one is more like Regarding Falling Villains and is much lighter in tone, kind of comedic. Haven't read it in a while but iirc Sombra gets tied up to working with the Cutie Mark Crusaders: shenanigans ensue. Iirc as well I think it goes into his background briefly.

Unfortunately, I Am The King of Equestria (Sofa King Zill-E) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/374058/unfortunately-i-am-the-king-of-equestria This one is a certified funny haha, but technically there's actually no Sombra in it. Sombra has just defeated Celestia and conquered Equestria after returning! Only for some random human man to wake up in his body and replace Sombra's soul. Shenanigans ensue. It's pretty funny. However, like Saga of Hatred, it was never finished and hasn't been updated for 6 years. I highly recommend reading it

Sweetie's Shadow (Note Sketch) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/214170/sweeties-shadow Comedy and slice of life that gets progressively darker. Sombra gets magically attached to Sweetie Belle's shadow, essentially becoming the 'devil on her shoulder'. Very good, but again, unfinished. I recommend it though, it's a good read with an interesting read (kind of like A Sparkle In The Darkness)

The Fairy Tale Fiasco (LaWombat) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/401496/the-fairy-tale-fiasco This is a Twibra fic. Kind of like Regarding Falling Villains? Basically, Sombra attacks while Cadence and Shining Armour are off on vacation. Magical mishaps happen and he, Twilight, and Spike are sucked into a book about fairy tales. Cue some character development and reformation. A pretty good read that I binged in one sitting

Plural Possessive (Aquaman) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/243196/plural-possessive Utter chaos and ridiculousness. It's brilliant! Basically, kind of like Sweetie's Shadow and A Sparkle In The Darkness. Sombra, bitter over his season 3 defeat, comes back intending to steal Twilight's body. But there's one thing he doesn't foresee: the mare changed her address, and Sombra accidentally possesses Dinky Doo instead. Shenanigans ensue. Light-hearted comedy

Dark Arts and Kind Hearts (Boomstick Mick) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/295671/dark-arts-and-kind-hearts A Flutterbra story this time. Sombra returns after his season 3 defeat and a successful battle sees Celestia begrudgingly giving him some crime-infested land and the choice of one of the Mane 6 to choose as his bride. He picks Fluttershy, who is forced to become his wife. Story follows her and Sombra establishing a new kingdom and liberating it of crime. A good read. Serious content warning though for NSFW and explicit gore/violence

Those are all the top tier fics! Some honourable mentions:

Exile - Blade Star

A Meal Fit For A King - Bucking Nonsense

Tales from the Dark Side of the Mirror - GrimWolf, Legends from the Dark Side of the Mirror - GrimWolf (this is mainly about the alternate version of Sombra, from the Reflections comic: where he's a good guy. unfinished though)

The King of the Night - Pen Mightier

Alicorn Princess - Bad Dragon

A Somber Tale: FIENDship is Magic - Maltrazz

Little Sparrow - Mitch H

Hope this helps you :'D

[allthecastlesonclouds]

Is someone were to start watching dimention 20 . What series(?) would you reccomend n where ?

omg omg okay okay so i'd say there are so many different routes you can take depending on what genre you like!! this is truly so hard omg. i can start off by saying most seasons are on a subscription service called dropout which is the only subscription service i will be paying for in my life (unless you're counting a patreon as a subscription service), but they also have a youtube where they've released a couple full seasons.

i'm putting Escape From The Bloodkeep at the top because a) Villainous Found Family, b) free on youtube, and c) there's an NPC named J'er'em'ih. It's a Lord of the Rings knockoff from the perspective of the villains who are dorks and also queer. Found family to the max and so many bits.

i will be crunching this post because it is LONG! genres galore!

if you want Drama: A Crown of Candy is a Game of Thrones/Candy Land mashup. The Ravening War is the prequel. Both of them have a nonzero chance of making you cry and Do have permanent deaths. A Court of Fey and Flowers is the other drama but it's. queer Bridgerton with fairies. no angst many flowers and there's LETTER WRITING and a RUMOR PHASE

Coming Of Age: Fantasy High Freshman Year, Sophomore Year, Junior Year, and The Seven. While I think t7 is higher in quality than Freshman Year, you do need FY for context. either way, both feel as realistic as an adventuring school can be to an actual coming of age story.

Misfits and Magic is also a Coming of Age and an homage and just. a fabulous piece in general which I think is a GREAT introduction (if you have dropout)! it's a group of people going "how much can we poke fun at jk rowlings books bc we grew up on those but we Don't Like Her and actually her system is trash?" it's a smaller cast using the kids on brooms system, and, once again, it's queer and coming of age and found family. there's a wet cat of a man if that's what you need in your life.

Horror Seasons: Neverafter and Burrow's End are the two Overtly Horror seasons and they both pull it off very well. Neverafter is found family. Burrow's End is a literal family (of stoats) (not anthropomorphized, just plain stoats). they're Good Horror.

The Unsleeping City (Part I) is also very good. only filmed media that's made me cry. i can't speak to part ii specifically because i did not vibe with the virtual filming style. i got dropout because of Pirates of Leviathan, but i had the context of s1 and s2 of fantasy high so. idk man. is this coherent?

romance: Shriek Week and A Court of Fey and Flowers. Monster dating sim and Fairy Bridgerton. i'm not a dating sim person so i couldn't really do shriek week but ACOFAF. Man. That season.

Mystery: Mentopolis. I cannot tell you how much I loved Mentopolis. such a good season. Hank Green is there. Mike Trapp (creator of J'er'em'ih) is there. It's truly just tropes tropes tropes. everything is a pun.

Mentopolis also fits under action, which is what I would put Coffin Run under as well. Coffin Run my beloved. 2 vampires a wannabe-vampire and a jewish-old-man-who-misses-his-wife walk into dracula's castle and go. "hey we're your favorites, right?"

i'm so sorry. i hope this helped. i really love this show man. there's very few seasons i couldn't finish and 20 seasons out right now (the 21st is coming out every wednesday starting last week) and while there are MORE seasons like A Starstruck Odyssey (scifi comedy, 10/10 no notes) this is a long post to say. TLDR: you gotta know what style of show you like. my friend and i both watch it but she REFUSES to watch fantasy high and i can't stomach A Crown of Candy but we still both watch other seasons.

[patchesnpins]

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ꜱᴄᴀʀʏ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇꜱ?

ᴀɴᴏɴ ᴀꜱᴋᴇᴅ: ily aesthetic omg could I request steve, nancy, eddie, and jonathan with horror movie buff partner? (if that’s too much just eddie and steve is perfect :))

☾⋆*:｡ a/n: aww thank you!! I love putting together themes so it's always nice when people compliment them. I only managed to do Eddie and Steve bc my mind is kind of blank lately. haven't watched many horror movies in a while so sorry for the vagueness

☾⋆*:｡ details: SFW//w.c: 0.6k//ft. Eddie Munson & Steve Harrington

ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ᴍᴜɴꜱᴏɴ

Eddie is a big fan of horror movies, it’s his go to genre whenever he’s looking for a movie to watch with someone. In the stacks of vcrs around his trailer you’re more than likely to find piles upon piles of horror movies than any other type of movie

He’s absolutely ecstatic when he finds you snooping through all his movies, a wide grin on your face as you excitedly question what was his favorite movie from his collection. He doesn’t have many people to talk to about the movies and Wayne is far from a fan so finding someone as interested as you is amazing

Playful as ever he always offers to be someone you can hold onto if you ever get freaked out, shooting you a smile and a wink that you take like a challenge. You won’t budge during horror movies and Eddie catches on quick, seeing who can outlast the other without being scared

Eddie likes listening to you talk during the movies, tell him little behind the scenes bits of information or how the sequel ties in with the previous movie. Point out all the little sfx bits that make all the blood and gore a little less stomach churning, he lives for how excited you get telling him these things

No matter how much you complain about how shitty they are, Eddie has a love for shitty horror movies with a tinge (or more) of comedy. He loves giggling on the couch over just how awful and not scary is, a good way to chill out after hours spent binging terrifying movies with you

When halloween comes around he’s more than willing to dress up as your favorite slashers with you, a night spent running around the neighborhood scaring the local schools jackasses seems like plenty of fun to him, especially when it’s so easy to hide yourself behind a mask (no wonder how they got away with it)

ꜱᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʜᴀʀʀɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ

Steve is very very far from being a fan of horror movies, he’s had his fair share of horror nights with a date but thank god for the dark lights that hide his mortified grimace. He can play tough guy all he wants but if he can avoid them he will as much as possible

He could feel his palms get all sweaty when you began rummaging through the horror section at his job when he sent you to find a movie to watch that night. He did love how excited you were, going on and on about movies he wouldn’t ever dare to touch

Your familiarity with the movies helps calm his nerves through, when the movie is slotted into the vcr player and he can feel himself grow a bit nervous, the facts spilling from your mouth in a giddy excitement helps put him at ease because how could something that makes you so happy be that scary?

After enough movies, Steve is definitely the person to get into hypotheticals such as would Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees win if they got into a fight. He bases his claim off who looks cooler and most of the time destined to lose to you with how much more you know than him

He hates super gorey movies with a passion, having dealt with gross stuff like that enough in his life. Steve trusts you to pick out one’s he doesn’t mind, you always seem to have the perfect one based on whatever he says. It’s almost amazing how much you know and how quick you are to pick something out

Steve is always first to notify you whenever a new horror movie pops up at work, he’ll give it to you half off (and a good amount of the time for free) for you to rush back home and watch. He’ll join you on the second rewatch if it’s good, snacks and drinks in hand for you both to share

tag list: @adamgetawaydriver @workaholicwitch

[nancyqueerler]

Vol. 2 sucks so here I am: Edide, Steve, Nancy and Robin are stuck (again) in the Upside Down, Dustin's off to get help while El is kicking Vecna's ass for Max, so they can do nothing except waiting, which Nancy doesn't like, because she wants to kill Vecna now, and because she has nothing to distract her from the fact that Robin got down on one knee so she could climb up easily.

Nancy: "look, it's not the time."

Eddie: "it is! we are trapped here in a monster world and there's no one but us. no overhearing. no family members. only bestie talk. come on."

Nancy: "we can die any minute now and you want to talk about my love life?"

Steve: "uh yes? you've been staring at Robin as if there were hearts shooting out from your eyes and I take it my job to make my bestfriend and my ex-girlfriend to be happy together."

They look over to Robin, who's not faraway from them but totally clueless because she's focused on something none of them understands. Nancy sighs and nods. It's not like her life isn't a mix of horror and comedy before.

The perennial black sky of the Upsidedown had begun to deep-root a dread in the crevices of Nancy's skull. And it was a hungry dread that bubbled down to the pits of her stomach. With death for her and her comrades so imminent, her fists were aching to shoot her harrows away.

Nancy was not sure, but she thought that the Upsidedown had gone dead. Like a haze of eerie tranquility fell over after she blew Vecna out the second-story window, though she knew that he was not gone. Even if the particles that drizzled from the sky seemed to have ran themselves scarce.

She hoped it was all a good sign.

"Think we can find a deck of cards around here or something?" Eddie tossed his bandana up in the air, and it landed atop his flock of hair with a plop. His torso was bandaged up, red blotches on either side. Neck was wreathed in a yellowing bruise due to a demobat crushing his throat with its vine-like tail. He only narrowly survived because the demobats elapsed. Dustin dragged him back to his trailer, swathed him in gauze after finding questionable disinfectant in the kitchen cupboards.

Nancy still worried over the his protruding cheekbones, sunken eyes, and pallid complexion. She could only hope that they would find a way out of this hell unscathed soon.

"Unless you had a pack here in 1983, I don't think so," Steve answered, shrugging off his jacket. His shoulders blades were still lacerated, throbbing under the surface of his skin. A nasty yellow outlined the deep reds.

Robin stumbled out from Eddie's room with a bent frown on her lips. Nancy stared, observing the girl's clumsy stature.

Robin's attention fell on Eddie. "Do you, uh, remember if you had some sort of spare wooden planks laying around?"

Dustin had sprained his ankle, and he kept his lips tight when asked how. When they all made it back to the trailer, Dustin, with a tone uncharacteristically shrill, asked for someone to help him create a makeshift cast around it. Robin stated that she had minimal knowledge on how to do so and helped him to Eddie's room where he could lay comfortably.

"Uh... No? I don't think so," Eddie rasped. Steve rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

"I'll be right back, then." Robin made for the door, but Nancy called for her before her hand even locked around the doorknob.

"Alone? I'll go with you." She began to stand from the cushioned seat, but Robin threw her hands in front of her torso.

"No, you've gotta stay here. Steve's not capable of taking care of Eddie all alone. Someone responsible has to stay and keep an eye on them." Robin winked, shutting the door behind her. Nancy's heart fizzled, and she forced herself to settle back down. Her lips twisted in an unfettered smile that she hid behind her fingers.

Steve piped up first. "So, Nance." She looked over at him. "What's up?"

Her brow raised. "Hawkins."

Steve's eyebrows furrowed, and beside him Eddie's cracked lips mirthfully split into a smile. A rough chuckle tore from his frayed throat, and Nancy could tell it pained him.

After a brief beat, it clicked for Steve. "Smartass." Nancy threw her head back in a feverish cackle, followed by Steve and another pained chuckle from Eddie.

"Okay, but, seriously... what's up?" His laughter sizzled on his tongue. A smile still played on his lips. "You and Robin have been awfully close recently."

Nancy's spine froze, straightened like a bolt of lightning struck it. "We're friends, Steve."

"I didn't say you weren't." He lugged Eddie's legs up and settled them above his lap. "Just that you two have been close."

"I agree." Eddie ran a hand across his hair, bundled it up with a hair-tie. "Don'tcha think, Wheeler?" He winked a haggard brown eye at her, skin gleaming like wax in the dark light.

"I don't."

"You should." Eddie took another hair-tie from around his wrist, hooked it over his index finger, pulled it back behind his thumb, and shot it at Nancy. It struck her right below her cheekbone.

"Eddie!"

"Nancy!" he mocked, sticking his tongue out. Steve buried his amusement behind his knuckles.

Nancy grabbed the hair-tie and shot it back with pinpoint accuracy, striking Eddie between the eyes. The trio rose to a howl of laughter, and although reasonably piqued by the two boys' insistency, she was beholden for the noise. With how lown the Upside down had gone, Nancy's fears sprouted coiled sprigs across her bones and held them tight till they buckled.

"Just saying, Wheeler, that"—Eddie rubbed his fingers over his eyebrows—"there's no better time than now. We're in the pits of hell, so might as well spill out guts."

"But—"

"No buts, Wheeler. Come on—you can't hide it. You look at Robin like she's the Eighth World Wonder."

A sheer cold bled down from the walls of Eddie's trailer that sank into her skin, biting it raw until there was nothing left but her heart. It beat, thumped, rattled. Her heart knew many things, and it knew that Eddie was right.

"... Does it matter?" she uttered, wrapping her arms around her abdomen. "There's nothing I can really do about it."

"Uh, there's everything you can do about it," Eddie said, voice still weak and scratched. "Like, ask her out."

"Oh, totally. Not like we're in the pits of hell, as you said."

"Not now, idiot." Eddie smacked Steve's shoulder. "Tell her."

"Tell me what?" Nancy leaned over the armrest, eyes set on Steve. He glanced between the two, gnawing on his bottom lip. He breathed out, tapped Eddie's knee, then flicked his hair to the side.

"Robin, she... she looks at you the same way." Steve's voice was small, sheepish. Had Nancy not leaned in so close, she probably would not have heard him.

"See? I'm telling you, Wheeler, you've gotta ask her out after we get out of here." Eddie shined a sun-like grin, just as he always did.

"I don't know..."

"The Nancy Wheeler I know wouldn't chicken out." Steve tilted his chin up at her. "She'd grab Robin by the shirt and kiss her. Not fold in on herself and hide."

But just as Nancy felt words on her tongue, Robin crashed in through the door with a bundle of wood in her arms. The trio stared at her, watched as she gathered the few sticks that fell.

"Uh, hey," said Robin, shifting from foot to foot. Her eyes met Nancy's, and they sunk deep into each other's pupils. Steve and Eddie shared glances, mirthful at the side before them.

"I've, uh, gotta..." Robin cleared her throat, shook her head. "Gotta go help Dustin. Be right back." She only looked at Nancy while she spoke, then hurried off to Eddie's room.

Steve and Eddie smiled smugly at her.

"Okay, fine, you idiots. I'll..." Nancy chewed the insides of her cheeks. "I'll talk with her once we're back home."

--

Thanks for the prompt! Hope it was what you had in mind. I had fun writing a dynamic between Eddie and Nancy :)

[sofoulandfairaday]

Please can you tell us about:

Madame Lestrange

Rigel Lestrange

Glory and Gore

And the marriage counselling one (the premise of this already has me in a chokehold)

This is very very long so I will put it under the cut. Thank you for the ask!

Ch.11 - Madame Lestrange Contrary to popular belief, Bellatrix Black was thrilled with her wedding day: the food was perfect, the music was perfect, the groom was perfect. In the whole history of weddings, there had never been one more perfect than hers. Or 1972. Bella & Rod's ridiculously expensive wedding day and all of its shenanigans, including but not limited to: a mopey and very drunk Rabastan losing his virginity, Bellatrix and Andromeda's last conversation, the Dark Lord's failure to RSVP and the trouble it caused, and (ofc) the wedding night *wink wink*

Ch.26 - Rigel Lestrange 1975. A very sad one, quite gory too and definitely not for the faint-hearted, but also one of my favourites to write because I've always been fascinated with Bellatrix's missed motherhood. (All my readers know what I think of TCC by now, and anyway, this story takes place from 1969 to 1981, so no Delphi). The day of her miscarriage.

Ch.39 - Glory and Gore 1979. Still unwritten. The story of the third time the Potters defied Lord Voldemort. It's basically a long battle sequence with a special focus on Barty, Severus and Rabastan (Alastor Moody is horrified with this new generation of Death Eaters). By reading Regulus' journals, Bellatrix realizes that the gold cup her Master entrusted her is a Horcrux. When he later summons her, she chooses not to tell him that she knows (Bellamort moment, idk if smutty or not yet). Rodolphus visits his mistress (who is NOT AT ALL a shameless self-insert, nooooo) to make amends for stuff he did previously; they make peace, but it's pretty clear that they are not going to last.

The Lestranges go to couples therapy A comedy; still unwritten but fully outlined.

Ch.1: The explosion 1996. The Lestranges are having yet another Earth-shattering row that just so happens to blow up almost half of Malfoy Manor. Narcissa and Lucius threaten to notify the Auror Department of their whereabouts unless they agree to go to therapy. They recommend a Diagon Alley marriage counsellor who worked wonders for them: she's discreet, will keep quiet for money and has a strong stomach. Bonus: they show up either Polyjuiced or with some other shitty disguise and are immediately found out.

Ch.2: Mr and Mrs Lestrange's marital problems General bickering in their second session, we get a look at the therapist's notes. They are the worst patients ever, but she takes them on as her personal project. Both of them hate her but they really don't want to end up in Azkaban again. Rabastan finds out they are going to therapy and immediately he tries to hijack their third session. He is quickly put in his place.

«Roood» Rabastan practically sang, plopping down onto the couch, right between the couple. «Bella. You didn't tell me the lady was a hottie». He winked at [insert name]. She did not look impressed. «Rabastan, I presume». «Oh, you guys! You talked about me! Wait», his tone darkening in mock horror, «did they do it in a weird way? While discussing their sex problems?» Rodolphus looked ready to murder him on the spot. [he proceeds to basically sexually harass her and cause a disruption to their therapy session] «I do, Rabastan. I do. I find you utterly fascinating» she said, staring at him over her glasses. «In your opinion, on a scale from one to ten, how much do you use sex and alcohol to numb the pain of an unfulfilling life, completely devoid of ambition and genuine connection?»

Ch.3: The Lord Voldemort Factor The Lestranges are absent from one meeting or another.

«It's important that you try to be present for these appointments without too much rescheduling, Bellatrix. It shows that you are making an effort for each other, that you care about the other person's time». «The only thing I care about is my Master's time!» «See? She always does this! She's flaky». «Who are you calling flaky?!» «We agreed there would be no name-calling». Bellatrix shot him a triumphant look. «And we also agreed there would be commitment».

Lord Voldemort inquires after them and finds out (either from a terrified Lucius or from a still butthurt Rabastan) where they are. He decides he has to see for himself. Our dear therapist is terrified, but then again his disguise is the worst one yet. Truly laughable. Voldemort has her cancel all her appointments for the day so that they can have a longer session (he desperately wants to be included). It's not like she can refuse.

«It would be my professional opinion that you try and find a balance, an arrangement that works for all parties. Something to satisfy Mr Lestrange’s frustration, Mrs Lestrange’s exhibitionist behaviour, and Mr... Um... the Dark Lord's need to be the centre of attention». «We murder Rodolphus?» «It would be my professional opinion», she straightened her spine, «That you have a threesome».

Ch.4: Yet another satisfied client I'm still not sure whether I want them to divorce or not lmao. What I do know is that there will be a plot twist. Let's just leave it at that.

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

ruikasa (???) fic idea im never doing. tw for cannibalism and ooc rui. it's not what it sounds like

ive always loved the idea of aus meeting canon so. canon wondershow meeting cannibal toxic yaoi ruikasa. i dont like it when people make rui, tsukasa, or both cannibals, but i do like poking fun at ooc tropes

it'd be a subversion of the yandere cannibal ruikasa Genre. it could be a spoof where canon is simply horrified, or it could be a horror where canon has to deal with unnerving versions of Themselves. everyone thinks it's just doppelgangers of themselves at first; yandere cannibal rui/ruikasa acts like normal at first. but there's something Off.

(and honestly, canon would start off bothered just by the idea of rui + tsukasa dating LOL. the comedy aspect would be canon tsukasa/rui being 🧍🧍‍♂️ at lovey dovey versions of themselves)

but no yeah, in my head the fic is rui centric bc 1) of course it is and 2) rui gets to meet both fandom interpretations of himself in one guy (flirt and Cannibal Murder)

he'd be intrigued at first, but he'd get bothered by how...different his doppelganger is. it's not obvious at first, but his doppelganger is clingy, possessive, jealous, unempathetic- all while putting on a smile on his face. it's the same smile canon rui himself wears, but it never slips off. rui doppleganger completely ignores emu and nene. and if he does talk to them, it's only when theyre in a pair (unsubtle commentary about emunene only being put in ruikasa fics to give them something to do) his attention is on tsukasa at all times

(the horror aspects could come from him wanting to eat canon tsukasa or something idfk. since it's cannibal yandere rui he's like 'grrr i NEED tsukasa!!' and he sees canon rui as a threat.

he might give a scary monologue to him like "i know myself, we're one in the same, i know u have tsukasa to urself but i Need him, i need him more than i need to breathe, i need to experience him, ive been gifted a version another version of him, a vresion i can maim. im selfish that way-"

meanwhile canon rui's like "um." )

anyways the fic ends with the au versions of themselves fucking off/getting blasted by lasers. or something.

also the whole fic hinges on how rui sees himself/how others may see him. he's sick to his stomach that someone who looked/talked like him wanted to hurt another human being. someone who looked and talked like him was dangerous. someone who looked and talked like him said they were one and the same.

this fic wouldnt even ruikasa tbh, itd just be canon rui, canon tsukasa and the ocs people call rui and tsukasa

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: The Youth Who Went Forth to Learn What Fear Is

Tagged by @ariel-seagull-wings

Favorite thing about them: The sheer comedy of his nonchalant responses to terrifying things. Not only is he never afraid, he doesn't even treat the ghosts, goblins, and horrors he faces as anything out of the ordinary. That's the key to the story's humor.

Least favorite thing about them: The fact that he has seemingly no interest in working to help support his family unless it will teach him how to shudder. Of course laziness is a typical trait of rags-to-riches peasant heroes in fairy tales, but I'm glad the adaptations tend to downplay it and just make him quirky instead.

Also, while the ending is funny, with the princess finally making him shudder by drenching him in cold water filled with wriggling minnows, it's slightly disappointing that he never does learn to feel fear. It's no wonder that adaptations tend to change the ending so that something finally does scare him: whether touchingly (e.g. in The Storyteller's episode "Fearnot," when he finds his sweetheart dying of grief from his absence) or humorously (e.g. in Faerie Tale Theatre's "The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers," with his nervousness about getting married).

Three things I have in common with them:

*I tend to feel different from other people. (autism)

*I sometimes don't understand things that most people understand perfectly well. (again, autism)

*Sometimes my different way of thinking causes problems, but at other times it's actually helpful.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm far from fearless.

*My parents have never kicked me out.

*I'm female.

Favorite line:

When he sees the half-man fall down the chimney:

"Hey, you need another half still; one is not enough." 

From the 1947 Let's Pretend radio adaptation, after the princess "teaches him how to shiver" with a bucket of ice water at the end:

"W-w-well, f-f-f-for Pete’s sake, t-t-t-teach me how to stop!"

From the Faerie Tale Theatre adaptation, in response to a zombie trying to scare him:

"One other thing. About your howl? I think you're using your voice wrong. You want to build from here. (points to his stomach) Right? You want to build from here. (pokes the zombie in the stomach - his hand squishes right through his skin) Sorry... Listen to me. From here. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! You try it.

brOTP: None in the Grimms' tale. But in the loose adaptation from Jim Henson's The Storyteller, "Fearnot," there's Mr. McKay, the cunning tinker who leads him to the scary places, initially just for money, but who eventually becomes his true friend.

OTP: The princess, or in Storyteller adaptation, his village sweetheart Lidia.

nOTP: Any of the monsters he meets.

Random headcanon: He's autistic. Now of course this is an anachronistic viewpoint; he's just meant to be a lucky fool, like so many other peasant boys in fairy tales. But the fact that he specifically can't relate to an emotion which comes naturally to everyone else, that he doesn't pick up on the emotional vibes that other people do in key situations, and that he has a hyperfixation (learning to shudder) and no interest in practical things that don't relate to that fixation... well, all those things sound familiar.

Viewing him from this perspective, I feel better about the fact that he never learns to feel fear: he'll always be different and that's okay.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have one, because his story isn't particularly well known. The best I can think of is that it deserves to be retold more often, especially around Halloween: its blend of spookiness and comedy is underrated.

Song I associate with them: None at the moment.

Favorite picture of them:

This illustration by Albert Weisgerber, showing him riding in the moving bed:

This illustration by H.J. Ford, showing the scene where the sexton tries to scare him disguised as a ghost:

This picture of the same scene by Maurice Sendak:

This illustration of the bowling scene (I don't know the artist):

This illustration by Arthur Rackham:

This illustration by Dagmar Hermann:

Peter MacNicol in the 1984 Faerie Tale Theatre adaptation, "The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers":

Reece Dinsdale in the 1987 adaptation from Jim Henson's The Storyteller, "Fearnot":

Tim Oliver Schultz in the 2014 adaptation from the German series Sechs auf einen Strech:

[momentomori24]

Second video from johneawesome of chapter 5 dropped two days ago and there's a few things to unpack:

•Right off the bat--HECK YEAH MY PREVIOUS THEORY ABOUT THE WHOLE OF KANAI WARD BEING HOMUNCULI AND ITS ORIGINAL CITIZENS HAVING BEEN REPLACED DURING THE BLANK WEEK AND THE MEATBUNS WAS CORRECT!! HOOZAH!! Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, yeah. I have no idea where the game is going to go with this because the damage is long done. The Homunculi can only survive off of human flesh which comes from the people kidnapped and brought from the outside. If we cut that off, we will basically kill an entire city of (mostly) innocent individuals caught up in a mess they never asked for or were even aware of being in. If we choose to do nothing we will have to live with turning a blind eye to the horrors happening in plain sight-- the kidnapping, the canabilism (is it still canabilism if they aren't even people?), the government corruption spread on a global scale. There's also the question of if the people of Kanai can even be condidered people, because we know they're not but they're so human and genuine that it's actually pretty difficult to look at them and think otherwise. Unless we find a way to make the Homunculi live off food that isn't human, one side of this dilemma will have to die. And we, Yuma, is going to have to choose who.

•Speaking of Yuma, the guy has come an incrediblely long way and not entirely for the better. He's grown resiliant, determined, unbreakable in the face of all the horrors he's faced and stays strong in his conviction to find the truth despite it all. But our beloved, sweet, awkward and bumbling trainee detective we've come to know and love is gone. I LOVE how you can just feel how exhausted he is, how utterly sick to his stomach he feels at the whole situation, how he just knows what's up ahead and doesn't say anything and just doesn't want it to be true. How desperately he just wants everything to be over. He just gets more and more angry and frustrated, eventually even bubbling over to him lashing out at Shinigami when she fails to comfort him (which he's rarely done if at all). And she doesn't say anything back; the awful mood continues to hang in the air. All the other times when he was in trouble and times were tough you could always find some comedy to keep your spirits up, but here there's nothing funny to be found. Following his heart and allowing himself to be human despite the role he was given to play was such an important aspect of his character, but now he's forced to throw that all away and embrace Number One's philosophy just to get through whatever lies ahead without breaking down. That shadow remains over his face all the while when making his way to discover the truth, not even responding to Shinigami's quips or Kurumi's observations-- he's such a shell of what he used to be. He can't go on for much longer like this and I'm just waiting for this man to go batshit. All that mounting frustration finally reaching a boil and spilling over. Just some catharsis for the first time since his hellish, amnesiac journey began. He went through so much he deserves to let loose for once.

•The fact that the WDO is involved in this whole scandal is both genuinely surprising-not surprising and beyond evil. If Number One and some others, if not everyone because there's no way this is a one-man effort, in the organisation is in cahoots with Amaterasu and is indeed responsible for the mass kidnapping happening outside of Kanai then they sent their own detectives to their deaths by making them investigate the case. They left Yakou to fend for himself in that city because they were with them in the first place. And he's dead now and has been for three years, replaced with a Homunculus who's also dead now, and a bunch of Master Detectives who died before even arriving. That's actually despicable. I wonder why the WDO was attacked though. I get the Detectives that came to investigate, but why Number One? I don't think he's dead, but if he actually died from that explosion then it's so convinient that we couldn't see his blood. If he actually is the 'greatest mind', then he should be a Homunculus that was created three years ago. But how long ago was the WDO founded? Is he the founder (i don't remember)? And if he is a homunculus, how is he related to Makoto? I feel Makoto calling himself his son will be relevant at some point, but I'm not sure how.

•And Makoto. Freaking Makoto. I knew he was secretly evil since day 1, but not as evil as we got. Up until Chapter 5 I was so confident that he was at least better than Yomi--and he probably is-- but the gap between them is somehow shrinking every time. The fact that he made sure that Fink kills Yakou just to get rid of Yomi, that he took advantage Yuma's naivete, trust and confliction to give him that gas bomb to knock them all out and bring him to that restricted area for his own sick game and is almost definitely involved in the Blsnk Week Mystery really put him up there. His motive for being CEO are not purely just 'I love Kanai Ward and want to make it better', it's too good to be true from a guy like him. And the way he instantly solved to conflict between the UG and Kanai Ward is so fishy. What were the negotiations they made? Why did the former CEO need to give up his position to him for anything to work? And was he truthful when he said it was most likely Yomi who killed him?

I think these are my biggest takeaways from the episode. Whether the next one will clear them up or add it them, we will see.

[spook-study]

It makes sense that Barbarian (2022) was a movie written by a comedian: it “yes, and”-ed itself to death.

There are so few movies that come out in the horror sphere that really give you a sense of surprise or shock. Not to say that horror isn’t surprising or shocking- on the contrary. But being such an established genre, it is an exciting day indeed when you can sit down and watch a new horror movie that absolutely gob-smacks you.

Usually.

There is a scene in Barbarian where genre-fave Justin Long’s character and worst person alive AJ is at a bar with his friend and they have “real talk, bro.” The scene is horrifying in its own way for reasons you’ll understand when you watch it, but that seems like it might be an accurate nexus for how this movie came to be about. Barbarian played out like a group of drunk guy friends started a horror movie idea together, and then each one adds another thing, and another thing, and another thing, and another thing, and on and on and on. The only rule of the game seemed to be surprise. Never mind if it had narrative impact, and never mind if it made sense- why not have five movies in one? In fact thinking it over, I think five might even be too small a number.

What started out as a wonderfully and pointedly tense thriller that might have had a lot going for it devolved completely for the sake of shock. Not that it didn’t have its benefits, mind you. There were a few moments of writing that felt incredibly well earned and perfectly timed to ease forty-odd minutes of continued suspense. It isn’t the first time we’ve seen a split narrative in a movie, and it was absolutely effective. The conviction of the performances lent to the idea beautifully. Georgina Campbell as Tess was the final girl, Bill Skarsgård’s Keith was perfectly cast as someone who might be a good guy, but might not be.

The conceit of the film may truly well be every woman’s worse nightmare. In fact, I watched it with a friend and the moment Keith opened the door, we both said as such aloud. Absolute props where they’re due, the first portion of the film was delectably tense. I was squirming, heart pounding, I loved it. It was potentially the longest string of red flags ever put to film. My stomach was completely in knots. This was a masterclass on how uncomfortable you can make a viewer simply by telling them they are watching a horror film, and not a romantic comedy.

Picture this: woman is in town for an exciting new job interview for a documentarian she loves. She’s just kicked her shitty boyfriend to the curb and pulls up to the Airbnb in the rain. But uh-oh, someone’s already in the house- a boy! He invites her in and lo-and-behold, he’s someone who she might like to interview for the documentary, if she gets the job! Coming soon to Lifetime Movie Network. Except we knew, of course, that we were watching a horror movie. And Tess absolutely knew she might well be living one. We just didn’t know what kind. Never has the knowledge that the audience is watching a horror movie been used to such effect. I ate it up.

Then the movie had to actually start to explain itself. It feels like an impossible task to explain how quickly this movie went from 100 to zero for me. So much so that I believe I can peg it down to the minute that the decline began: minute 42. Perhaps it was the writer/director’s need to pursue shock above all else, but the slipshod back half of this movie really spoiled what might well have been an absolutely excellent short film.

It was shot well, with an absolutely stunning lighting design. I could practically feel myself drooling over the way this movie looked at times. The use of lighting design in horror is a rather hot button issue these days, but Barbarian knew where to stay dark and what’s more, it earned its darkness. While some of the dynamic camera work wasn’t my favorite, I’ll never be fond of what I call ‘video game’ camera angles, the vast majority of the film was an absolute pleasure to look at. Perhaps my favorite thing was that quite a lot of the movie was warm, favoring luscious oranges and yellows over the cool blues that are swamping the genre right now. And there were splashes of color that were just delectable.

It was clear the filmmaker had a vision for horror, and in that regard the movie was an absolute success. There were jump scares that were so wonderfully executed, and moments where a slow reveal was used to far more effect. But all these skills and all the tools brought out to play in Barbarian felt wasted because at the end of the day, it was nothing more than a shell.

We know that shock is a noble pursuit in horror. It is foundational to the genre and is inextricable from fear. It’s something so exciting and thrilling to participate in. For some of us, it’s the very reason we watch horror. Why we ride the roller coaster. Why we play Bloody Mary. Whether it be a jump scare or the bone deep feeling of dread and disbelief, you simply can’t have a good horror movie without some well supplied shock.

But you can’t bank an entire movie on that, it becomes something clownish. And that’s exactly what happened with Barbarian. Each step only became more and more absurd to the point where the movie became a joke.

Barbarian had no rules, no reason. It didn’t ‘throw the rules away,’ there just were none to begin with. It just was and was and was. And hey, that’s a type of horror that’s definitely has a place and is something people love. If you’re someone who needs a consistent string of “what the fuck” moments in their horror then good news: Barbarian is absolutely the movie for you. But for people who might prefer something deeper than surface level, it might leave you wanting. It felt like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Sure there’s everything you could want, but none of it is very good, and depending on your constitution you might have an upset stomach at the end of your meal. You ate, you feel full, they had your favorite cake!, but you don’t really feel satisfied.

At the end of the day Barbarian felt like a total let down. My heart was racing, it ramped me up, it was well acted, well written, well directed and for the most part well shot. The greatest misfortune was that it just kept going. The astonishment went from eyebrow-raising to eye-rolling. I went from “what next!” to “now what.” I was told I was getting a roller coaster, what I ended up with was a fair ground slide: after the initial drop, nothing was left.

I really wanted to like this movie. The main characters were at once completely sympathetic and revolting, real life smart and horror movie stupid, tragic and comic. But don’t press your hand to hard against any one part of it; you’re liable to fall right through and reveal there’s nothing underneath the surface. There’s more to horror than the shallow offerings of this and that issue that Barbarian presented it’s viewers. It was The Great and Powerful Oz- mighty, frightening, and then nothing but a cheap façade, not scary at all. I can’t quite put my finger on how to describe it, but in a way it felt like a slap in the face. Like someone sat down and wrote out a list of “scary” things and didn’t really consider why they were scary, or what they felt about that. It was strangely passionless.

Horror is always best when creators have something to say, when they have pinpointed something in the world that is frightening to them and decide that piece of fear is worth thinking about, worth exploring. It’s arguably the most culturally relevant and artistically impactful genre of all, providing metaphors for the day, for fear, for humanity and for the world. And it might be over said, but horror holds up a mirror to life and the best horror interprets real life fears so we may feel catharsis. What did Barbarian have to say about the world? That it existed? The movie felt like a monkey at a typewriter trying to trick you into thinking it had something to say. I like my horror to have a strong idea behind it, for it to really sit with something and question how it’s frightful, to find something to interpret and do everything to explain the unexplainable. This movie was not that; no matter how much it wanted to you think it was. It’s very clear this was a movie that thought it was genius, when it hadn’t even hit the gifted class.

All shock and no substance, Barbarian gets a rather disappointing 2/5*

[writterings]

any recs for old movies to watch while high. i only know shitty horrible 80s movies

honestly i don't have many recommendations, i watch shows more than i watch movies when I'm high. but some good movies that are trippy as hell or fun to watch when high are as follows:

animated:

rango

into the spiderverse

invader zim: enter the florpus

the spongebob movie

horror:

any of the conjuring movies if you can stomach horror (though IMO they're not scary at all; my roommate and i watched them all while high and that was the only way we got through them)

the lighthouse

the silence of the lambs

comedy:

what we do in the shadows (the movie)

deadpool

pineapple express (theeee stoner movie)

[absentcaryatid]

The Witch and the Vampire

An ATEEZ fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Yeosang does not need the supernatural skills of a vampire to win your heart, just a heartfelt confession.

1.9K words, Content Note: all ages, gender neutral reader referred to by the pronouns they/them

~

You pushed back the peaked hat with a wide circular brim as you read ingredients aloud from the book. Throwing a few items into your bubbling cauldron, you looked up to see the well-dressed man with slicked back hair slide into the room, his cape wafting.

“What spell is this, my dear? It smells unusually delicious!”

Playfully slapping his hand headed for the pot, you informed the sharp toothed fiend it was dinner, not work. The imaginative list of ingredients you rattled off might have made the stomach of a weaker man turn, but Yeosang had both the strength and appetite of a vampire.

“I am such a lucky man,” he declared with pride. Inclining his head, he headed for your neck, causing a squeal.

“Not the neck! You can kiss my cheek. Maybe more after dinner.” Delivered with a wink, the line elicited positive reactions from the audience who began filing into the next part of the unhaunted house.

“This room is always my favorite part of the tour; I would not be surprised if the witch and vampire were a real couple.”

You held back a smile at the overheard compliment. Originally Yeosang had been given the prior room but had soon begun drifting into your set along with the audience. What started as humorous then later emotionally touching interactions had become popular leading to a change in assignments. Mingi the wolfman and Hongjoong the black cat were moved up to the set before yours now that you and Yeosang had become a duo act. The gifted storytellers were a popular draw for all ages, but the friendly pair proved particularly good with children who were entranced by their personalities and realistic costumes.

Once the group had moved on to Doctor Frankenstein's laboratory and the door between stages firmly closed, you could relax a little as the men who called themselves the Ho brothers began their scene. Those two had been new hires this year and fit in well with the rest of the actors who regularly came back for the seasonal job.

While Yunho and Jongho both had an easy and infectious laugh, their attractiveness in different ways was the only physical feature they could be said to have in common. Perhaps they were half-siblings or adoptive brothers the way Yunho towered over the younger man, especially once in costume as Frankenstein's monster with significantly elevated boots and a prosthetic headpiece adding to his height. Jongho played the less dramatically costumed doctor in a lab coat and tie that suited his more reserved personality offstage.

The laughter sparked by their expertly delivered comedy routine drifted back to your set as you began to prepare for the next round of guests. Plucking out the plastic bugs and other props from the inner basket keeping them off the dry ice, the room was soon returned to readiness for customers. An actor by trade, one of your favorite jobs had been the one you began as a teen years ago. Haunted houses.

While scaring people was fun, you always took note of audience members just there to soak in the atmosphere. Not everyone wanted jump scares and you realized there was money to be made in a slightly different attraction. It had been your ideal to suggest an unhaunted house, more Addams Family than house of horrors, you had convinced your employers to test one night a week with a different feel. The sets were well-lit, props remaining mostly the same with a few softer elements added for coziness. No blood or weapons, offensive mental health elements out entirely, and most importantly- no scares.

All ages were welcome which brought a younger group of customers helping solidify the experiment as a moneymaker. The concept was popular enough to have expanded to four nights a week and the intention of skipping the horror element entirely next year. You had even been made a manager by your boss Kim Jongkook making the job a more sustainable one with the increase in pay.

Things were going well in all but one way, your coworker the vampire, in reality a guy named Yeosang. Playing the sweet couple each night was getting to you ever since you realized you had fallen for him. How could you not? He was shy and on the quiet side offstage, especially compared to your rambunctious coworkers Wooyoung and San fittingly playing the devil and an imp. Yeosang was creative and every night threw something impromptu at you whenever he felt like it and you just had to roll with it.

The endearments were different each time and it was hard to stay in character when all you wanted to do was tell him how much you adored him and wished the scenario of Yeosang coming home to his partner was real. Tonight he had gone beyond the usual scripted vignette adding a neck caress to the kiss attempt scene and then landed a real one on your cheek instead of hovering above it. It was too much. Not that the attention was unwelcome, quite the opposite, but you had never gathered the courage to confess your now raging crush.

The reticence was the same on his side. Despite his smitten behavior, Yeosang had not taken the next obvious step of actually talking to you about dating, despite the wide ranging and enjoyable conversations you had about every other topic on your breaks. Fortunately, with a little push, you managed to get past your mutual obliviousness on the occasion of an unusual booking.

The unhaunted house had understandably become a popular destination for school groups and other young people. The pleasant surprise of fans from the other range of the age spectrum made your business a favorite yearly outing for senior centers, assisted living residents, and retirement communities eager to have a not-so-scary seasonal experience.

Given that not everyone was up to getting out for the afternoon, a new sideline had developed of taking your show on the road and setting up simplified versions of your sets in the dining room or hallways of assisted living and nursing homes. The delighted gasps as seniors encountered each scene made the hassle of dragging props around more than worth it.

Even more valuable was the commentary received one day from an elderly man who had been reviewing the scenes from his wheelchair. Taking time at each stop, he was seen to smile at the antics of the wolfman and cat, an elegant ghostly Victorian waif Seonghwa teasing the devil and imp, and Doctor Frankenstein with his creation. However, the resident spent the longest time sitting nearby your staged performance. Once the booked time came to a close he came forward and wiped a tear from his eye as he thanked Yeosang while you returned the first round of props to the van.

“Watching the two of you reminded me of my own partner and the happiness we had. We made it almost five decades before I was widowed. How long have you and the witch been together?”

Yeosang was caught by surprise. “We just work together,” he spluttered, but the look in his eye was caught by the much older man.

“Young man, life is short. I watched you two for the past hour and there is nothing platonic in the way they look at you, and your gaze told the same story. You aren't acting as a couple, what I saw is real in all but name. Tell them you love them so you have as much time together as you can.”

If Yeosang had felt nothing for you he would have politely nodded at the senior and forgotten the unasked-for advice, but he could not. On your return, Yeosang immediately took you by the hand. If the feelings had not been mutual this would have been highly embarrassing for you both, but this was something you had dreamed of hearing for quite some time.

“I have had a crush on you since the very first night we worked together,” he began. “Playing your partner lets me pretend I am yours until the season ends and we go on to other jobs. I don't want to face another almost full year with you out of my life. May I take you to dinner sometime? It can be simply as friends if you like.”

The pointed hat of your costume was knocked to the floor as you embraced Yeosang. “Yes to a real date, a romantic one. Is tonight too soon?” Shared laughter at your enthusiastic response broke any tension from the unexpectedness of his approach.

The seniors who had not drifted back to other activities had taken notice of the tender scene unfolding before them. It was not until you heard applause and cheers you realized they had been entertained by your unintentional encore.  

Life went mostly back to normal after that fateful day with the exception that work became far easier now that you were not consumed by fighting off your feelings for your coworker. The plots for next Halloween were already in development before this run ended and it was decided to have an engagement scene where the witch accepted the proposal from their beloved vampire.

By the time the unhaunted house opened up the following year you were engaged in real life and found the nightly proposals gave you an unmatched emotional high to look into Yeosang's eyes and act out joyful acceptance. The local paper doing a profile on you both was a nice piece of publicity for the business, but the emphasis on being real sweethearts was what made you cherish the coverage.

How best to follow up an engagement than a wedding? The unhaunted house sets were decorated the following Halloween season in festive decor suitable for the latest theme. On the day of the last dress rehearsal, Kim Jongkook announced he had brought in a specially chosen audience to practice on. Too engrossed playing the witch about to be married to their vampire, you did not notice familiar faces of friends and family shuffling into the wedding scene room.

Dressed as a ghoulish minister, San began the ceremony but instead of your character names he used your real one and Yeosang's at the that point in the brief service. It was an unusual slip-up from such a pro. Before you could correct him back on to script, San winked and disclosed he had recently gotten an online ordination which was completely valid. “This is real if you want it to be.”

Breaking into a grin, you happily nodded in agreement. It now made sense that Yeosang had been so insistent taking you to the courthouse for a marriage license days earlier, assuring you that a low-key wedding in a registry office a few weeks later was all he desired yet wanted to get the paperwork out of the way in advance.

Not everyone would have been up for a surprise wedding, but you and Yeosang were well matched when it came to many things including finding the situation both humorous and welcome. Wooyoung attending as Yeosang's best man in his devil costume reminiscent of Tim Curry's from the movie Legend was not how you pictured your wedding day, nor ghostly pale Seonghwa at your own side, but you would not have had it any other way.

In the years to follow, the very desired children who would come into your life joined you at work when Halloween came around again. You and your vampire had a little skeleton and mummy happily playing underfoot in the cozy domestic scene. They grew up fearlessly playing with seven honorary uncles recognized easier in costume than out, and life was very good for your unusual but truly happy little family.

~

Yeosang Masterlist

General Masterlist

[nekropsii]

hey wait a second thomas hewitt is a valid troll name

Yup!! He’s also literally the most Vriska-type Slasher to ever exist. It’s actually pretty interesting. I’m going to infodump about Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies largely unprompted, now. Should this be put on my literal dedicated Horror blog instead? Yes. But for now, it’s a relevant topic to this blog, so who cares.

Content Warning: References to/Conversation About Violence, Gore, Self Harm, and Cannibalism.

Ok. Nerd rant time.

His life sucks so fucking bad that you can really see how and why he got to where he is now, and you really want to root for him, but… He descends into doing some things that are so sadistic that you really get emotionally torn between whether or not you should like him, lol. Personally, I love him to pieces. He’s prime Leatherface. They really nailed down the core of what makes Leatherface such an interesting character, while also getting super dark, violent, and serious with it. I recommend his Timeline if you can stomach some pretty gnarly gore. And when I say pretty gnarly, I mean it’s really fucking gnarly. They went a lot farther with it than the Original Timeline, and the name Texas Chainsaw Massacre fits here more than ever.

I think the really heavy gore and violence suits it, though. The change from the Sawyers to the Hewitts definitely did the story well- the Sawyers are kind of hard to take seriously, they’re really goofy, and the bulk of their strengths as individual characters and as a family lie in comedy. This is why Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is the best movie in the fucking world.

The Hewitts, though…? Jesus fucking Christ. Not only is taking them seriously not a challenge, they’re downright terrifying. Their shared overt sadism goes above and beyond whatever was going on with the Sawyers, and that sadism takes itself much more seriously. This shift in tone is best shown by comparing both of these Timelines’s versions of Leatherface.

Fun fact, for the uninitiated. Leatherface is often touted as the “Big Bad” of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He is the iconic Slasher to come out of the franchise.

Now, what if I told you Leatherface isn’t who you should really be afraid of? Because Leatherface isn’t a “Big Bad” or anything. Yes, he’s definitely large- consistently clocking at over 6 feet tall, and built like a literal god damn fridge- and he’s definitely… Well, trying to kill and eat people, but he’s not at all the scariest person in the franchise by any means. Leatherface is designed to be kind of a sympathetic character, actually. He’s consistently a troubled disabled man who gets pushed around and bullied/abused by his family members constantly. He usually kills because he’s either scared, or ordered to do it.

You can see this the most in the first iteration of Leatherface, named Bubba Sawyer. Bubba is genuinely… Really fun to watch. I say this in the least infantilizing way possible, but he’s kind of adorable. He’s the softest one in the family, and acts as a “Mother Hen” type character. Despite his staunch loyalty to the family, they still really treat him like shit. He’s afraid of the outside world, because he’s been locked away from it his entire life. Threats to the family drive him into a panic, and if he fails to protect them, he spirals into a breakdown. He’s a sweetheart, if you ignore the whole “Murder and Cannibalism” thing!! I couldn’t fix him and I don’t want to, but god knows he’s a neat little dude.

Thomas Hewitt, on the other hand? He’s a different case entirely.

His backstory is fucked up, but very sympathetic. Mother died in childbirth, and he was thrown in a dumpster and left to die. He was then found by the Hewitts, who adopted him and raised him as their own. He has a pretty severe skin condition that led to him getting bullied really, really badly growing up, and now he has such a high level of self hatred that he’s noted to have a “penchant for self mutilation.” You can see his self harm scars in TCM: The Beginning, if you look. Him getting treated so horribly by everyone around him, as well as his family being… Well, the Hewitts, led him to develop a rather interesting trait for a Leatherface- actual real Sadism. He is so, so interesting to watch.

Sympathy is at the heart of Leatherface as a character. He’s never the worst person in the family by a long shot, and oftentimes is intentionally written in a way where if you take a moment to try to view the movie from his own perspective, he’s just terrified and trying to protect himself and his family. He’s desperately, horribly afraid of losing everything he’s ever known. He’s the only Slasher I’m aware of that acts not out of Malice, but out of Fear.

Tommy really likes to test that notion of Sympathy, and that’s why he’s so god damn fun to think about for me. Every element for a perfect Leatherface portrayal is there, they just took the aspect of Sadism in the entire family and cranked it up to fucking 100. I love this bitch so much. He does some severely fucked up things, but you almost want to root for him? They level the playing field really well by making the Victim Cast consist of genuinely pretty mean and intolerable people.

You want to root for the Final Girl, because the situation she’s in is genuinely fucked up to hell and back, but you also want to root for Tommy, because he’s been through the god damn meat grinder and you can tell he’s got no other choice… You don’t want to root for the Final Girl, because the Victim Cast consists of insufferable people, but you don’t want to root for Tommy, because holy shit some of the stuff he does is unnecessary. But also you do, because his design is so kickass it makes up for everything, but also you don’t, because his family sucks and doesn’t deserve to win, but also you do, because you want him and him alone to win. It’s complicated!! I’m absolutely obsessed with it.

Another Slasher with a valid Troll name is Leslie Vernon. I fucking love Leslie Vernon. Do not ask me about Leslie Vernon. Do not ask me about Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon in general. We will be here for several hours, and I’ve already reached my maximum amount of Horror Movie Autism for the day on this blog.